The Return to Gravity Falls
by EZB
Summary: Mabel and Dipper return to Gravity Falls three years after their life-altering summer vacation spent with their Grunkle Stan, to find that Gravity Falls never stops being, well, weird. As the twins encounter old friends and reconnect with the supernatural inhabitants of Gravity Falls, new dangers lurk just outside of the knowledge of Uncle Stanfords old journals.
1. Season One Prologue

"When people ask me 'How was your summer' or 'What did you do this summer', I'll be honest, I don't know what to tell them. The closest I have to say is 'I had the privilege to have the most exciting summer of my life with my grand uncle in Oregon'. Now, I now what you might be thinking- 'How is that exciting? Sounds like any other boring family trip', right? Well, you'd be wrong. I was lucky; lucky just being there this summer, seeing things that no one else has seen in their lives, fighting for truth and justice, and even falling in love."

The author, a twelve year old boy sitting in front of his computer in his room, leaned back from reading the first paragraph he had written, and shook his head. He sighed as he looked to the screen.

"It sounds conceited," Dipper Pines groaned as he instantly deleted the entire paragraph without hesitation. "Just when I thought that sixth grade was demeaning, seventh comes in for the wind up: aaand it's more stupid 'how was your summer' work."

Dipper Pines was a boy of twelve. He wasn't exactly tall for his age, but he wouldn't let people talk him down from being at least average height. He was right in the middle of standard young teen image, but lacked any physical finesse. His brown curly hair tucked under his hat, a blue and white colored baseball cap he got while at his stay with his uncle.

The young Pine had not been home from school for an hour when he decided he would begin writing his assignment from today. Habit prompted him to begin the work as soon as possible, and despite being a 'lame topic', he found himself slaving away before a monitor light lit keyboard in his dark room.

Summer had come and gone. What he could only describe as the greatest time of his entire twelve years of life were over. Battles against zombies, assisting mermen escape pools, and a conspiracy for the ages tied together intriguingly to his fondest memories. Now, back in his home town, life was grey and flat by a long shot comparison. He even wondered if the normal people in Piedmont had secrets at all, let alone conspiracies. This life was totally dull, and he felt each hour pass turn him towards lethargy.

As he dazed about the weeks before, a sudden shout from below in his home shook the floor. He turned looking to the door, where he knew a hallway connected to an overlook to the living room and staircase. Dipper frowned worriedly, thinking as to what topic the shouts from below could be. He shook his head.

"It... isn't my business," he repeated to himself for the third time that evening. He turned from his computer, seeing a single framed picture on the desk. There, looking at him was his 'Grunkle Stan', himself, and of course-

"DIPPERSAUCE!" a girl shouted as she nearly kicked in the door, splashing light into the room.

"Mabel?"

"Yes, lord of dark bedrooms, Dipper the sullen," Mabel snickered as she skipped into his room and leapt onto his bed. She wore her favorite purple sweater with and shooting star with a rainbow trailing behind it.

"Hey, don't-"

"Don't what?" she grinned, and kicked her shoes off on his bed. She was the twin of Dipper Pines, physically. Barely a millimeter taller than her brother, she was endlessly energetic and bouncy, incapable of the phrase 'calm down'.

"C'mon, Mabel," Dipper groaned," you sweat like twice as much as me on your feet."

"All the fun I make creates fun-residue. Your bed could use some!" she told him as her braces shined from the light from the hallway, smiling cheekily at her brother. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the computer. "What are you doing on the computer already? Don't you want to... like, search for a gnome or something? I think our neighbor's garden gnomes are spies. Maybe they're connected with Jeff... agents of stealth, in our neighbors backyards..." Mabel added in a serious undertone, looking at the blinds-covered window.

"I have homework," Dipper told her with authority.

"Whaaat?" she exclaimed, flipping herself to be upside down, dangling off his bed," since when do you get homework the first day of class?"

"Since now; since seventh grade. You do too you know," he turned in his chair to remind her," and you won't be able to get me to write this one for you."

"Boo!" she stuck out her tongue at him, and quickly fell off the bed and flat onto the floor. "Your carpet smells like hurt."

"It would, since you jammed into it nose-first. Mabel," Dipper fully faced her in his chair," come on, you need to do your work too." Mabel rolled around on his carpet, seeming to ignore his words. After a few rolls back and forth, Dipper asked," and... what exactly are you trying to accomplish?"

"Enough static to singe your hair?" she asked, stopping briefly to plead innocent.

"I doubt you're going to zap anything. Probably can't generate enough for even a small discharge," Dipper laid the trap. Mabel was only too eager to prove him wrong. On cue, Mabel poker her cheek and winced as she was quickly zapped.

"OW! Dang braces," she rubber her cheek as Dipper laughed at her," C'mon, its boring here," Mabel rolled her eyes, trying to get Dipper to change his stance.

"It's boring out there too," Dipper told her," this isn't like Gravity Falls- we're in a normal town with normal people now. I think the most exciting thing is one of our neighbors speaks Portuguese. What... what is there to do out there that's exciting, exactly?"

"We can stare at squirrels!" Mabel told him," Make them feel like they're being watched."

"And why would that be a good idea?" Dipper asked after a moment to stare at her.

"It's only fair we return the favor," Mabel muttered, danger lurking in her every word. Dipper spun away from her, not enthused about her ideas of fun. "Oh, c'mon bro!"

"Why are you so desperate? Just do your work; it'll get itself done quickly if you just set yourself to it. And don't say you can't, I know you can!" Dipper said from facing his now blank document.

"I... I can't focus," She said.

"Why not?" Dipper asked in frustration.

"It's loud downstairs," Mabel quietly said. The tone and volume shook Dipper to the core. He knew that voice too well, and spun quickly to look at her. She was looking to the still ajar door, her eyes sad and distant in her thoughts.

"What... what is it?" Dipper asked caringly, getting off his chair and sitting next to her.

"They're being loud again... I heard what they're talking about, Dip," Mabel said, positively dead in her voice.

"You- but- they...it's not our business, right?" Dipper stated aloud. Dipper watched his sister almost cringe, and looked away from the door, and spin away from her twin brother. "Hey, it can't be that bad, right?"

Mabel had turned entirely away from her twin, wrapping her arms around her legs, and tucking herself deep in her sweater. Dipper was truly concerned with her now, and first got up to close the door. Once it closed, he walked to have his back against the bed frame, and slid down to face Mabel.

"What did you hear?" he asked her gently.

"I don't want to talk about it. Let's just leave the house and go make our own adventures, okay? Let's go find something stupid to make fun of!" Mabel asked desperately. Dipper shook his head. "Why not?!"

"This isn't like we can run to Grunkle Stan for this. This is home, and it'll wait for us here, whatever it is. Mabel," Dipper tried again, stronger, but still maintaining his tenderness," what did you hear?"

A rumble of voices, familiar to the two of them shook the floor. Dipper gasped and glanced at the door, shocked at the escalation it was getting to.

"I..." Mabel said, her voice mildly shaking," I think mom and dad are going to break up."

Dipper heard her and could not comprehend an appropriate response. He was one of the better thinkers of his year in school, and all the evidence that he had accumulated pointed to Mabel's thought. Their mom and dad, since the moment they came to pick them up at the bus stop, had an air of strain hovering over them. Dipper had discounted for the sake of not seeing them for three months.

Then the arguments began. They were subtle at first, but grew stronger and more personal each time. Dipper, in the two weeks they had been back had locked himself in his room to avoid the dangers below. Mabel had tried, forever the optimist, weathering the storm. Dipper wasn't sure anymore if their parents got along that much. He even wondered if they had been shipped to Grunkle Stans' for the pure reason to avoid possible problems and seeing the parents argue through the summer. He almost wanted to ask Stan if he knew anything about this.

Another burst of sound echoed to their position, in the dark room. Mabel whimpered sadly as she lowered her head slowly. Dipper looked to his sister, unsure of what to say.

"You... I think you may be right," Dipper could only manage.

"They can't!" Mabel looked up, tears in her eyes as she shouted at her brother. "This is supposed to be a happy family!"

"Mabel, quiet down! They could hear-" Dipper tried saying quickly, but she slammed her fist against the floor.

"What's going to happen to us if mom and dad split, huh!?" She demanded to her brother, who was agape without a clue.

"I don't know anything about that! I never wanted to know anything about divorce law!" Dipper said with more strength and volume. "I don't know."

"This isn't FAIR!" Mabel stood up, and charged for the door. "We should be coming back home to a happy family!"

"Wait, MABEL!" Dipper called after her as she stormed out, crying uncontrollably. He sat there, alone on his carpet and at a loss to thought. His fears, collecting with the thoughts of his sisters pain, left a gaping hole in his chest that he couldn't avoid anymore. His life here, home, his family, it could change for the worse.

"Hey," a quiet and soft voice belonging to his father asked through a crack in the door, just out of sight," you two okay?"

"Yeah, we're just doing great dad, thanks," Dipper called back, sarcasm dripping through his trembling voice.

"Uh... okay, just... we can talk with you if, you, er, you want to," his father asked from outside.

"Let them be," Dippers mother called, slightly further away than his father from the door.

"I'm fine," Dipper stood up, and firmly closed the door," I'm just going to go to sleep. Goodnight."

This was entirely a lie. Dipper knew that he, and his twin sister, would be laying in bed all night, dreading the coming days. He leaned back against his pillow, shaking his head, blaming himself. Maybe, had he just gone with Mabel to do something silly outdoors, they could have held this off a bit longer, and this life he knew wouldn't be crashing around him. He could have had that security, maybe, of a bit more comfort.

"That's just a lie too," he whispered to himself.

* * *

Three years pass

* * *

A lone teenager walked down a peaceful street in Citrus Heights. A hand held to his ear and a bounce in his step, he was excited for the coming weeks ahead and he spoke animatedly into his phone while his other hand swept through his brown hair.

"And he was really excited about my fictional work too," Dipper Pines, age fifteen told his mother on the phone.

"Really? About time someone noticed your talent for mystery and paranormal stories," his mom replied.

"I mean, I guess I just had to go back and edit a few crazy things out to make the story more believable," Dipper rolled his eyes," but he was shocked I hadn't taken it to a publisher yet."

"Mister Dugood said that?" his mom asked," I did have a good feeling about him at the parent teacher conference this year."

"Yeah, so I'll be home in a bit, so I'll talk to you more about it then, okay?" Dipper asked.

"Of course! Great job with school this year. Stay safe!" His mom hung up, and he flipped his phone away with a sigh.

"Work of fiction. I guess that's all I can relate to anyone about that kind of stuff," Dipper sighed as he passed under a blooming orange tree, its wonderfully sweet scents all but ignored by Dipper Pines. He had, after all, moved here more than two years ago with his mother, and the scent was little to anything more than part of the scenery.

"Who cares," Dipper shrugged off the idea of his past romances with the unknown from his mind," Mom, you may think you fooled your son about the gift, but I know too well your late night purchase a few weeks ago. It HAS to be today!"

"Yeah! Today!" an elderly man cheered back, pointing his walking stick into the air. "Carpe Diem, suckers!"

"Exactly, Mister Himmerfield," Dipper gave the man two points with his fingers as he crossed the street," today, I get my first car!"

"Yeah! Automated transportation!" Mr. Himmerfield cheered back.

"No more walking for this guy!" Dipper did a little turn about, leaning against a white picket fence in his eternal glory of knowing his coming present from his mother. "Sweet, sweet gasoline, road laws, and pedestrian rights!"

"I'm legally blind!" Mr. Himmerfield shouted with as much enthusiasm as he vanished down the street. "I have to walk forever!"

"... yeah! Uh... right," Dipper watched his audience support haunch away. He turned away from the strange old man who lived in his neighborhood, and continued towards his home. His book bag jumping about his back as he jogged, he rounded a fence to the front walkway to his house, and there was his mom.

She had shoulder length thick brown hair and big brown eyes which struggled to contain her excitement. Dipper took as casual steps he could until she whipped towards the garage and pushed a small button in her hand. The doors raised, and there was a new car, and even more recent model than Dipper had expected. He dropped his book bag to the earth and fell to his knees.

"To the powers that be, you have made this day," he roared to the heavens," AWESOME!"

"The powers that be are happy to appease," Dippers mom came over and pulled her son to his feet and gave him a strong hug.

"Mom!" Dipper struggled to be released, and she did so after a moment, letting her son charge to his new car.

"It's a Crescendo- a bit older than I would have liked to gotten you- but the safety rating is a great," Dippers mother realized he was smiling at her with a satisfied, yet cocky, grin," You must have known, didn't you?" she asked as he carefully looked over the surface of the black car, capable of sitting five. It had fewer curves and more flat surfaces, but it held the grace of an older car but with the functionality of a new model.

"You're not good a hiding things," Dipper reminded her," what exactly did you expect when I saw you hurrying to cover this with a dirty rag when I came home last week? A Bison was under there?"

"Psh, I had you fooled," she denied his achievement to notice such things," and remember- technically this belongs to the family until you're of age. Right?"

"No joyrides without your consent, gotcha," Dipper turned his head just barely to speak to her, as his eyes were busy drinking in as much of the car as possible.

"Maybe you should call your dad, let him know that you can come see him whenever you'd like?" his mom suggested after a moment of him inspecting the car through the windows.

"Nah, it'll be a surprise," Dipper sighed as he watched himself bend and reflect in the curves of the car," oh my god, thank you so much mom!"

"Well, keep those grades up! Top of the class in, everything?" She smiled as she shook her head," I only wish I had gotten such a brain when I was your age."

"No, seriously, Dipper turned, and charged into a hug with his mom," thank you so much!" She gasped at his collision and laughed. A phone then rang from inside the house.

"Well, you enjoy this first of many steps towards adult hood and the responsibilities that come with it," his mom said as she stepped away and towards the house," I'll see who is calling the house."

"Someone older, I bet, if they're calling landline," Dipper guessed. As the front door closed behind his mother, he did consider calling his dad. He hadn't spoken to him for a long time, long enough to wonder what Mabel was up to.

The thought of his sister brought a wave of shame to his gut. The two had an unspoken falling out, coupled by distance and the introduction of high-school. Dipper knew his sister wasn't nearly as competent as he was with academics, and worried if she was struggling. The thought passed that maybe he should call. Maybe better, drive down to Piedmont to say hi to the two, and more importantly, brag his new ride. It was too good of a thought.

His reality check crushed his dreams. The trip was long enough away, and he wasn't sure he was comfortable to drive alone on the highways. He had done it before, sure, but to travel to his dads and Mabels at the same time made him feel nervous. He would just send them an excited email later, maybe.

Dipper heard the door creak open, and he turned to his mother. Her excitement had all been drained from her face. He knew immediately that whatever she had to say wasn't good news.

"Mom? What's up?" he asked, the nervous look in her eyes infecting him.

"It's... your Grand Uncle, Stan?" she started," he just passed away."

Dipper nearly fell back against his brand new car. His mother made to help him, but he slid to a seat against the wheel of his brand new ride. Static filled his ears and his skin prickled with uncertainty. He couldn't have heard what she just said.

"What... what do you mean he passed away? Did he move away from Gravity Falls?" he asked her, yet not looking at her.

"He died last night," his mother said sadly, sitting down in front of him, as he breathed deeply.

His mind raced out of control. The energy he held to minutes previously now battled the horrible pit of feeling that pierce him like a bolt of lightning. The unstoppable, unflinching, miser and con man, loving Grunkle Stan died. Dipper couldn't begin to understand how he was supposed to feel about this news. He supposed in his head that he aught to feel sad, but it was as the ability to be sad, to act sad, was not physically possible.

"Someone by the name of Northwest sent a message to us- you, that you are mentioned in the will of your Grand Uncle," she tried explaining, very aware of the incredible stress she had unleashed onto her once celebrating son.

"I..." Dipper searched his brain for anything to do, say, act on. It was his strongest, most reliable feature. Yet it failed him, here and now. In desperation, he looked elsewhere in his being, and found in his heart and gut a joint answer. "I'm going to Gravity Falls."

"But, don't you have a summer job lined up at Pizza-Asteroids?" His mom asked as he stood up, and started to walk inside.

"I'll let them know this came up. Mom, this is important," he told her as he turned towards the hallway leading to his room. Entering his space, he began grabbing his necessary ingredients for travel- extra clothing, washing supplies, toothpaste.

"Well... I'm not going to stop you," his mom sighed and he gave her a look.

"Really?"

"I agree with you. I think this is important. I'll even get some money for you from the kitchen," she said and she turned away towards the other side of the house.

It only took Dipper a quick few minutes to find enough for him to say he was ready to pack. He lifted his bag up, and spotted a mirror in his room. It showed the scruff signs of a chin with stubble, and his thick brown hair without his hat, as wearing them was banned at his school. With one last turn back to his dresser, he reached up and brought down to his head an old baseball cap he hadn't worn in quite some time.

"Ugh, a little tight," he groaned, and undid the back strap a little, and it slid on easier," there."

With his hat atop his head and two suitcases in his hands, he made for his new car. Outside, his mom waited, looking worriedly as she observed him approach the trunk of the car. She popped it open for him with a click of a button from the electronic keys, and Dipper calmly placed his suitcases inside. With a long sigh, he closed the trunk, and turned to his mom.

"Here," she said, and held out they keys for him. He gave them only one glance, and took them from her.

"Mom... thanks," he said with a faint smile.

"Just be careful. You were just twelve when you were there, so things may have changed from how you remember them," she warned him.

"They already have," he said strongly, as he walked to the driver side, and opened the door. The feeling of taking the steering wheel was more than enough for him to shake any second thoughts or doubts from his mind. He stepped in and closed the door. It would not open until he reached Gravity Falls, all the way in Oregon. "Mabel, you better show."

* * *

"Dad! I have returned from my glorious campaign against my ancient rival; school!" Mabel Pines called out as she entered her home. She quickly dropped her school bag to the floor, and strode to the couch in the living room.

"How was the last day?" her dad called from the kitchen.

"No one survived my onslaught," she grimly said.

"Right. I guess that means you think you did well?" her dad asked with a hint of caution. Mabel laughed manically and turned on the television. She picked briefly at her teeth, showing the bright and metal-less chompers. "You can worry a parent sometimes, you know that."

"Worry? Why worry when you can conquer the world," she said as she channel surfed. Her long brown hair fell to the mid of her back, and was currently half covering her face. She pouted at the lack of good television.

"So, you're not going to tell me about your grade card?" Mister Pines said as he walked into the room, wringing off water from his hands with a hand towel. He had short brown hair and a thoughtful look about his eyes, like he was always in concentration or deep thought.

"I don't wanna, that's boring. But I had a great time with my SENSEI!" she bellowed triumphantly, beating her chest like a gorilla while making accompanying sounds.

"Miss Hirsh and you had a good practice?" Mabels dad asked as he sat down next to her, stole the remote, and put on the news.

"She thinks I'm improving fast, or whatever," Mabel blew off her accreditation easily," and we've established that I'm fire and air of the paths, so I can begin my focuses soon, but you know that's just because we're like super tight. Martial arts master and pupil- don't even come between."

"You know, I was a little weirded out with your interest, but I have to admit," he defended her," it's sensible. I like the idea of you learning a style of self-defense that works towards who you are."

"Pshwa, self defense," she snickered," it's just going to help me defeat my greatest foe yet, Bethany Mills, and her waaaay too dark hair."

"That girl giving you trouble still?" her dad asked with a quick look of concern.

"Yeah right, emo girls don't fight, they just speak badly of you in," she dropped her tone to be more menacing and fatigued," darker tones to appease our master of darkness." Her father laughed with her, and she nearly fell off the couch.

"Hey, I think it' time I showed you something. Get up kiddo," her dad told her as he stood up.

"If its another crazy computer gizmo, I'm going to fall asleep on it," Mabel warned her father, but was interested when he turned to the back door, leading to their backyard," wait... what's that lumpy thingy under the stained sheets?"

Her father turned and placed his hands against her shoulders, silently telling her to remain still. Instantly, the possibilities of what awaited underneath the large sheet, probably an animal of some sort she was wishing of. Since Waddles got too big and was sent to a petting Zoo to appease the hearts of similar girls like Mabel, she had longed for another pet. Her father grasped the sheets and tugged strongly. A burst of light caught her eyes, and she blinked.

"A... bike?" she asked with uncertainty.

"It's the Insurgent, from a few years back. I knew you wouldn't want a car, so might as well go with one of these bad boys, and since you already have that little license, or at least one fake enough to convince me you actually passed the test. So, what do you think?"

"It's cool! So, does that mean you're trading your old car for this bike? I didn't know you were into pink. I really like the color, though," Mabel said with fascination. Her dad gave her a strong look and confident smile, and shook his head. The clockwork of Mabels mind clicked suddenly, and her thoughts finally understood what was happening. Her mouth dropped open like a brick falling from a ledge.

"I think you got it," her dad chuckled.

"I-I-I- It's mine!?" she starting hopping in place.

"Yup. As long as you promise me you won't go and tell your mom about it. Or get pulled over, because I'm not sure you're legally supposed to be riding these until you're eighteen. So-"

Mabel tackled her father in the midriff, knocking the wind out of him, and began to chant a combination of "Thank you!" and "I love it!" in such a fury that words began to mix and switch around and she eventually became unintelligible. Her father laughed and tried prying her off. She quieted down, and held on tighter.

"Mabel, I think you're cutting off blood from my legs," her dad told her after a moment.

"Not. Letting. Go. You have to earn hugs for what you gave me," she said sternly. A phone rang in the house.

"Mabel, I need to get that, it could be work," her dad told her, but she refused to let go. After an attempt to shake her off with a quick jump, he did several hoola-hoops using her, and she slid off and landed near her new bike. "Don't go anywhere with it!" he scolded her as she hungrily approached the bike.

"You ask the impossible, sir," she greedily said as she approached the shining and well conditioned bike. Her ultimate excitement reflected back to her as she stared the chrome and pink metal that covered the back. It seat and handles gave it the air of motor-bikes of old, more for an upright position than leaning forward or back. She knew exactly what her next purchase would be- matching badass pink sunglasses.

"Oh you and me," she said, pulling the bike close to her face," we are going to be close friends. Like, maybe soul mates. But you have to contribute to this relationship too, you know. I won't just... let you..." she stared into the shininess of the bike, and almost began to drool," you are perfect."

"Mabel," a voice called from the door.

"One second," she replied in a hushed voice," this moment should last forever."

"It's, um, it's about Uncle Stan," Mister Pines said.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel spun and stood up from the bike, excitement floating through her even more. Her mood was drenched by the look her father had. He seemed deflated, even more than he was in comparison to his daughter. "Dad?"

"Uh, he's... Mabel, last night, in his sleep, he passed away," her dad began, struggling for words," and your name has been mentioned in the will, so the 'Northwests' are calling you for a copy of his will."

"Wait... Grunkle Stan is dead?" she asked. Her father nodded, sadness creeping on his face. Mabel considered the possibility for a moment, that the man she had spent an entire summer with may have actually left her behind. "Yeah right!" Mabel laughed aloud, stunning her father.

"Mabel?"

"If I know good 'ol Grunkle Stan, he's probably just tired of lifting boxes and cleaning the windows on his own, and this is some sort of stunt to get me to come back and help him out," Mabel reasoned aloud.

"Mabel!" her dad almost shouted," this is serious! The local authorities confirmed it. He's really gone."

"But... nah," Mabel blew off the idea again. However, as she rejected the idea for a second time, a clever response came time mind. "I think I need to go prove that he's alive."

"You- what?!" Mister Pines blustered as Mabel charged so fast into the house it was like a blur, and returned with a half-filled backpack.

"I just have to make sure I pack my extra sweaters, cus it can get hot, even up in-" Mabel ran back inside for a moment, and reappeared with art supplies, and began to cram them inside her large backpack," and beside, maybe now that I'm fifteen, he will have to pay me if I do help out with-" she ran inside again after shoving the art stuff away, and then re-emerged with more clothing," because let's just face it, he may be an old geezer, but he has no sense of-"

"MABEL!" her dad finally burst out, stunning her daughter to a freeze. He breathed heavily for a moment, staring at her incredulously.

"Dad," she pleaded quietly," let me go to him. I know he's not gone."

"How can you be sure? Being dead isn't exactly something you can just disprove," her dad argued. She shrugged.

"And besides," Mabel stood up with the overstuffed and barely closed backpack," I know Dipper will be there."

"... you think so?" he asked her with a tad more ease than before.

"I know it. One of those nutty twin-things, right?" she grinned at her dad. He shook his head, giving the impression he was not entirely cool with the idea of letting his daughter go alone for a long trip.

"I couldn't stop you, short from locking you up and tying you down," he warned her as he extended his hand with they keys and dropped them into her own outstretched hands.

"Like that would stop me," she smiled and hugged her father," it would only slow me down."

"Well, get going before I smarten up and actually do tie you down," her dad said with a clever grin, and she nodded. She leapt for the bike, and landed gracefully. A moment later, after pulling out her standard sunglasses from her backpack, she checked the mirrors.

"Certified badass," she nodded with a straight face and started the engines. Sadly, before her father could get the fence gate open for her to exit, she put the gas on, and in a split second, crashed through half the fence. Dogs barked from the distance as she hit the ground and avoided any real harm. Getting up and dusting herself off, she briefly looked back to the damage to the fence she caused- she utterly destroyed it.

"... Mabel," her father growled, furthering her haste onto the bike.

"I'll fix it when I come back!" she shouted as she soared off onto the street, nearly hitting a parked car across the street. Her dad was seen in the mirror of her bike, and she watched him watch her until she turned down a new street, heading towards the highway from the suburbia she lived in.

"Gravity Falls, here I..." she stopped her bike for a split moment, sliding to a halt. Fortune favored her, as the street was empty aside from her. She rummaged through her backpack for one object, and without ever looking inside, pulled out an older photo of herself and her brother, Dipper, goofing at the camera.

"...Here we come," she grinned confidently, and sped on out with a wild swerve, accidentally running over a tin trash can as she sped away. "SORRY!" she called back to the owner of the trash can, who huffed out and cursed at her while she vanished down the street.

* * *

Hello readers, friends new and old! Welcome to my newest story, simply 'The Return to Gravity Falls'!

I hope you're as excited to read this as I was to write it, because this is going to be one wild story. So, before I let this prologue end, I want to establish a few things.

First, for my old friends, this isn't going to one of my usual stories- so action and adventure will be playing more towards the discovery and mystery than the fighting- but don't think for a moment that means there won't be any! Gravity Falls is a dangerous place, after all.

Second, this story will be updated bi-weekly and the structure of the story will be built like a show-season. What that means is that every two chapters will serve as a singular 'episode', otherwise I would have to update every three weeks or so, and that just wont do.

Third, to the great fans of Gravity Falls, like me :), I want to establish a 'canon' policy. The actual series is still going strong, and the end is no where in sight. So, I intend to make this story as canon as much as I possibly can, but I can only correct predict so much. So, there will be a lot of deliberate ambiguity and vagueness towards the end of the pine-twins first stay at Gravity Falls, and that is intentional.

And Finally, for those of you wondering about the angst (especially if you know me) they're teens, for Pete's sake. Angst will rear its head a bit in the beginning of this series, but I promise you once the story settles down to rest at Gravity Falls, we'll get that quirky and wonderful story vibe that Alex Hirsch has worked very hard to create.

Phew! Talk about a long author note. Maybe I talked to much, but I'm really anxious to make this story work. I have a strong love for anything that can pull my fascination with the unknown and the strong bond of people in unpredictable situations like Gravity Falls can.

So, see you guys in two weeks for the first half of episode one, 'Summer, Idle No More', or if you are subscribed to me, check in this Friday for HSWC!

Seeya!

-EZB

* * *

**Tsurt on eno.**


	2. Summer, Idle No More: Part 1

Crickets chirped gently in the faint breeze that glided through the woods. The sun had long since fallen and the sky was dotted with bright stars and hints of vast cosmic colors. The serenity of it all was mildly interrupted by the crunching and crackling of dirt and gravel as a black car drove down the back-woods path towards a solitary building. The black car found itself stopped before the building in the woods.

Seven hours, twenty two minutes since leaving his neighborhood, the door to a newly acquired Crescendo opened and out stepped Dipper Pines. He closed the door behind him as he looked up. It had been three years since he had seen it for his own eyes. The great memories nearly danced before him, figments of imagination from good times long ago. Star and moon light bounced off his car but it was the lights of the building before him caught his attention.

"The Mystery Shack," he whispered as he stared at the structure.

The wooden building was crudely built from an odd assortment of planks of wood and logs, placed half-hazard in the vague shape of a two-level house. A plethora of signs, ranging from the hardly intact main sign "Mystery Shack" to 'gifts' and 'world famous' dotted the roof and walls. Just by the back of the gravel parking lot stood the tall Native-American inspired, but plastic, totem pole.

He tilted his head to the side as he approached the building. In his mind, as he imagined coming to the shack, he would realize that it was much smaller than he remembered. If anything, it now seemed even bigger. He was certain that Grunkle Stan had, at some point, added several additions to the shack. It almost seemed like something more of a large home than a shack built on twigs and branches as he had remembered it.

His feet scrapped the gravel beneath him as he walked forward, passing a sign that had been left facing down in the grass. A quick click of his keys in his hands had the car beep weakly in response. The front door was certainly smaller than he remembered, and with a good grip, he opened the it slowly.

Once Dipper stepped inside and flicked on the lights, he realized that the inside of the gift shop hadn't changed in the slightest. Tons of cheap, low-grade merchandise were displayed all around him on shelves and tables. He even spotted several newer items, including postcards and posters, which he read while picking them up 'I uncovered the truths of the mystery shack!'.

"Only for ten and twenty bucks. Grunkle Stan," Dipper smiled and shook his head sadly as he put down the stack of still-sealed postcards.

It was the mention of his uncle that stirred his emotions. Since he had left, he had kept his feelings on a tight lock-down. Seven hours stuck in a car with bottled thoughts of a mentor he cared deeply for wasn't a combo he had enjoyed for one minute on the trip here. He turned against the counter and leaned against it.

"Was this always this short?" he asked, realizing that the height of the counter was also much smaller than he had remembered, going to just above his belly button. He sighed, and removed his cap, and placed it behind him as he let his head relax. Wearing a hat for such a long trip came up as slightly constrictive to his forehead. He gave it a quick rub, allowing his hair to brush past his strange birth mark; a near perfect replica of the big dipper constellation.

"I'm sure you'd just be sending me to my room in case you needed me to patch up the roof or something in the morning," Dipper quietly said out loud, considering the situation had his great uncle still been there. "Always was like-"

A creek of the floorboards had Dipper turn his head around. His heart raced, wondering the source of the sound. Had he heard that sound anywhere else in the world, he would have probably been less nervous; but this was Gravity Falls. Monsters and creatures of the unknown, paradoxes and time slip streams, and brilliantly intellectual yet insane madmen- all dominated this land.

He pushed himself off the counter and approached the open door he had come through, where he was sure he had heard the sound. The dark night of the woods awaited, and he poked his head quickly out.

"Hello?" he called. A quick look back and forth revealed no one around. He started to pull himself back inside and close the door, but only then spotted something behind his car. He let the door hang open a second longer to look at what appeared to be a motorcycle parked just behind his new ride.

His vision was obscured instantly and a shriek filled his ears. Something clinging from above the door and underneath the overhang swung down and tackled him. He screamed and desperately covered his face as he was thrown back inside. He landed in the middle of the gift shop, and began to claw away from the black figure who was crawling hastily towards him.

"Wait-" he tried, but only found a pair of hands grabbing his face and tugging it closer.

"DIPPER!" a girls voice shouted as she rubbed her own face against his as she embraced him tight enough for him to hear his bones creak.

"M-m-m-" he attempted to breath, but was unable to until the girl broke free with a loud 'ouch!' and started rubbing her face.

"Your face is spiky!" Mabel Pines declared in awe as she soothed her stubble-burned face.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked quietly as he watched his twin from the floor.

"That's one thing dad got right," she pulled out a small notebook from a pocket, a pencil, and scratched something off the list, "has grown slight facial hair."

"MABEL!" Dipper shouted and charged at her. She lost grip of her pencil and notebook as he collided with her, his hug pulling her up from the floor.

"You guessed correctly!" she happily stated as Dipper finally let go after a moment.

"You- you're here!" Dipper exclaimed as he gave her a quick look up and down, "I can't... I'm so- wow!"

"Right?!" Mabel grinned and smacked his shoulder," the boys can't keep themselves off me!"

"Right- wait, what?" Dipper shook his head as he replied.

"Little Mabel grew up into a strutting boy magnet," she confidently announced, turning around, trying to physically explain her apparent sex-appeal, "all the wows you can possibly hear when I walk the hallways- so wow is right!"

"Uh... okay?" Dipper said, "I guess your ego grew as much as you did."

"Shush!" she hissed and flicked his forehead with her finger, "you dare to question my prowess!?"

"Mabel, your first real date turned out to be a group of five gnomes trying to impersonate a grungy teen," Dipper reminded her. Mabels response was to blow a raspberry and repeatedly smack his face with her hands limply. "C'mon Mabel, cut it out!" She lowered her hands while laughing at him, and he grinned.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" she asked him with a small smile. Dipper's own grin faltered slightly. "What?"

"Nothing," he waved it off, trying to put back on a more confident smile of his own, "you know, I'm just glad to see you again."

"Aww you," she punched his shoulder once again, and he let out a small 'ow', "making a sister feel appreciated."

"Right," Dipper smiled again, desperate to bury his growing guilt of having not seen her in almost a year. He instead focused on the joy of finally being with her again. There was a sound from behind Dipper, and he spun around as Mabel looked past him.

"Oh, hey dudes," a big bellied and tall man was peeking out from behind the hall that lead deeper into the house, "if you're going to go out to grab something, can you bring back some nachos? Kinda vibe-ing the nachos right now. Okay? Sweet," and the man vanished behind the wall.

"Soos?" Mabel called out. A quiet moment was proceeded with heavy stomps in rapid succession. Soos, the handyman of the Mystery Shack re-appeared before them, in a robe that was just barely too small for his size. He stared at them, and wiped his eyes.

"Okay. So I'm dreaming. Right?" he approached them.

"No, Soos, you're awake," Dipper grinned at the man still easily a head taller than him.

"Oh yeah? Well apparitions of my grown up friends, present to me evidence that you are really here and that I am not having a wonderfully nostalgic dream," Soos ordered the two of them with crossed arms. Mabel instantly obliged and stepped forward. Giving him a long and hard look, she reached up and tickled his armpits. "OH- OH-" Soos started laughing heartedly.

"And here," Mabel added, going for the other arm, and Soos roared with laughter, holding his stomach as he did. A moment passed and he wiped away a tear.

"Okay, so I see you, I can feel you," Soos leaned forward, and poked Dipper and Mabel gently on top their head," and you two can feel me, right?"

"Yup," Dipper nodded.

"It's like we're connected," Mabel smirked at her comment as Soos's finger prodded her scalp.

"Okay. So, either this is the most realistic dream I have ever had, or you two are really here again and... DUDES!" Soos's mind gave into the concept of his old friends being fragments of imagination and swept them into a lifting hug, "oh my god, am I happy to see the two of you!"

"You too Soos!" Dipper smiled as he and his sister hugged back.

"Wow, I mean," Soos eventually lowered them to the ground, "wow. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure I was ever going to be seeing you guys again. Sooo glad I was wrong, you know?"

"Yeah! So, how do we look?" Mabel asked as she grabbed Dipper and tugged them together.

"This is just great! Like, even better than when Montana Jeffreys stopped in town! I mean look at you two," he said, giving each a quick 'up and down', "almost mature. Boy, that's kind of scary to think," Soos scratched his exposed brown hair, "since I knew you when you were up to my stomach I think."

"Highschool does that to you," Dipper said as he poked his sister to release him. It was in the moment, as the three of them looked to one another, that they all subconsciously came to the same conclusion: the only reason they were seeing each other again was the fact that Stan was gone. Soos lost a bit of the light in his face, and his smile grew slightly sadder.

"Well, if you two want, the building still has the old attic room you two can stay in until the situation is figured out," he placed a hand on either of their shoulders, "I'm staying here until everything is settled out. You need help carrying anything in?"

"Uh, no, but you're welcome to come out with us incase a werewolf or something tries to eat us," Dipper told him as he started to turn around. Mabel held him by the shoulder, and he faced her, "what?"

"Hah, guys, you know he's not gone, right?" Mabel asked aloud to the two.

"Wait, what?" Soos asked her, his eyes wide with shock.

"What?" Dipper also repeated, "what are you talking about Mabel? The cops pronounced him dead yesterday."

"Or did they?" Mabel asked the two of them, pulling them closer to her by the shoulders, "I have a theory: what if this is a huge stunt by Grunkle Stan to get us all back together? He'd want us to work on the shack while he was lazy all summer!"

"Woah... that is way too conspirical for me to handle," Soos said with wide eyes.

"Wait," Dipper pushed himself from the group debate, "we can't just discount the police because of a theory. We need evidence to make that kind of assumption. And the evidence states that Grunkle Stan died."

"He wouldn't die!" Mabel waved her hand aside in emphases of discarding the idea, "he'd just go to sleep and wake up even crankier! Blaargh!" she mimicked an angry old man yelling at them.

"Sounds like him," Soos nodded with his hand holding his chin.

"Guys," Dipper growled, but Mabel continued.

"And maybe he just wanted to make sure that we all still cared enough for one another, so he decided he would-"

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted at his sister. Her smile fell away as he glared at her. "This isn't one of our fun memories, okay? This is real life, right now, and our Great Uncle died, and we need to respect that fact!" Dipper breathed heavily and he turned away and walked out. "I'm going to get my stuff, and then go to bed," he called back as he stomped away.

"I guess I'm not the only one who's torn up about this," Soos said with a deep sigh, "c'mon bud," he patted Mabel's shoulder, "let's get your stuff upstairs."

"Yeah, let's go," Mabel nodded lightly as she followed her old friend.

The night passed by in a stew of uncomfortably. Dipper had remained quiet since his little snap at Mabel and Soos. He chose to grunt or occasionally provide a 'sure' or 'yeah' rather than speak in full sentences. Mabel continued to keep herself hopeful. It wasn't until Dipper had gone to bed without saying a word that she lay on her own bed, across the room, and stared at the ceiling, worry etched in her face. Her strive to find Stanley Pines alive and well seemed to have dimmed by her brothers unflinching believe of his demise. She stared for hours at that same ceiling, until an untold point at night, she too fell asleep.

"Mabel, get up," a voice called to Mabel, deep inside her slumber.

"Not now. School is over dad, I can finally sleep in today," she groaned back, shifting in her sleep.

"Mabel, we're at the shack," Dipper's voice called her to consciousness, and her eyes darted open. Quickly sitting up from her bed, she looked to her brother.

"Morning stupid," she informed him, her hair messy and disorganized. Dipper sighed as he turned from her. He was already up and held a towel over his shoulder, with a small bag of bathroom things.

"Get up already. We need to go to town today," Dipper reminded, "we need to receive copies of the will."

"Who's Will?"

"Grunkle Stans last will and testimony?" Dipper sighed.

"Ohhh, that kind of will," Mabel gave a confirming headshake and yawn as Dipper left for the bathrooms to change.

It was nearly eleven when the two of them were ready, mostly due to Mabel being unable to find all her needed articles of clothing and hygienic material. At eleven fifteen the two stepped out of the doors, Dipper already in a sour mood.

"We're going to be late for this meeting, and this is important," Dipper scolded his sister, "you really think finding the right flavored tooth paste made a difference today?"

"The flavor can determine your senses for the rest of the day! It's like super-important!" she told him with a wiggle of her arms above her head.

"It took you twenty minutes for one flavor of toothpaste?" Dipper asked.

"I have a lot of flavors, bro, okay?" she stuck her tongue out and walked past him, "and looking for Parchment-Fresh was very important!" Dipper only then remembered what she had apparently drove here with.

"So... who's bike did you borrow?" Dipper asked, trying to mask his curiosity.

"Psh, one of my boyfriends, you know how it is," Mabel waved a hand as she put on her pair of sunglasses with pink rims that matched the motorcycle.

"One... of your boyfriends?" Dipper asked one of his eyebrows popping up quickly. Mabel spotted the reaction and instantly cracked up, leaning on the bike for support as she laughed at him. "What?!"

"Just, your face!" Mabel tried to impersonate her brother, with bit eyes, raised eyebrows and an exaggerated o-shaped mouth, "Bwop!" but could only for a single moment before continuing her snickering.

"Right, because you're dating someone who prefers to ride around in a pink sparkling motorcycle?" Dipper pointed out, stalling Mabel's laughter.

"I... like men who aren't afraid of their color identity," Mabel defended and laughed a bit more.

"Oh, laugh it up, because your pink bike from your 'boyfriend'," he added a finger quotation for boyfriend, "can't even compete with mine."

"You have a boyfriend?" Mabel laughed even harder and Dipper went red in the face.

"NO! A ride, I got a ride!" he exclaimed angrily. She only laughed harder, and Dipper then realized her insinuations," MABEL! I got a mode of transportation! Okay?!"

"Yeah, you got a motorcycle?" Mabel sneered at him as he leaned against the black car, and only then realized that he was referring to the car. "Wait, that's yours?" she asked in awe.

"Oh Yeah! Full surround radio, reclining seats, air conditioning, some nice leather seats... well, I think its leather," he added as he peered inside," it feels like leather... maybe its-"

"Oh look-et me!" said Mabel as she ran around to the driver side of the car and jumped inside the unlocked vehicle.

"Mabel! Be careful with it!" he shouted as he opened the door to follow her.

"Oh, soo important, I need a black car with a bunch of gears, ohhh," Mabel wove her hands around the car, and began to turn the wheel around as she 'drove', and adopted an estranged rough voice, "I need to be on time for my appointment of stuffy old men who wear stupid suits! Woosh! That pedestrian means nothing to a true businessman! What-ho!"

"You sound a little jealous," Dipper said as it was his turn to smile cheekily at his sister.

"Ah man, I don't know," Mabel earnestly said as she leaned back with his driver seat, "would I like the car that is going to be stuffy old man-mobile, or," she leapt back out and ran to her bike, "awesome girl power five thousand!?"

"I'll take the black car," Dipper said easily.

"Be that way, loser," Mabel stuck her tongue out, "at least I ride," she dipped her glasses under her eyes, "in style, baby."

"Hey guys," Soos' voice called from the front door, and the two turned, "you both heading out?"

"Yup! Going to solve the mystery of the disappeared Stanley!" Mabel gave Soos a thumbs up. Dipper gave her an angry and disapproving stare, which unaffected her smile.

"We're heading out, yeah," Dipper nodded as he walked to the driver side door.

"Okay. Just so you two know, the funeral is going to be held today at two. The place is jut outside of town by the old Valentino place, but it's not that far. So I guess I'll see you two there. I'll be dressed nicely, just, cus, you know," Soos trailed off, and waved to them goodbye, before walking backwards into the shack. The two watched him vanish backwards into the shadows, and gave each other one more look before entering their transportation.

The trip into town was mostly uneventful, with the exception of Mabel trying to speed along side Dipper while making as many faces at him as she could. This nearly lead to her falling off the road and into a deep stream, but she recovered and decided it would be better just to follow him. They finally arrived to the Gravity Falls law firm, and after Dipper scolded Mabel for a moment for her brash earlier actions, they entered the building.

For Mabel it was horrendously boring. A member of Northwest and Associates sat them down and spoke about the contents of the will, and how they both would end up owning a copy for their needs. Mabel stuck pencils under her bracelet and stabbed at Dipper, spun her chair as many times she could in one push of her feet, and tried folding her copy into a origami piece. Dipper, at the first moment they could take their copies and leave, grasped the opportunity and his sisters arm firmly.

"You really just... couldn't resist folding your copy into a ball, could you?" Dipper demanded of his twin as they left, almost an hour later.

"It was an armadillo," she proclaimed, holding up the fully formed armadillo origami, "and it's **adorable**."

"Did you catch a thing she was trying to tell you?" Dipper questioned as she began to rock the paper figure in her arms.

"Words. Words about things and stuff."

"We own the Mystery Shack as soon as we're seventeen," Dipper told her as she snuggled the origami with her cheek, wincing with each paper point she pressed against her skin, "which means we would have land here that would be split between us. We need to take careful of these!" Dipper told her, holding the paper up.

"It's not really ours, though," Mabel reminded him, using the armadillo to speak for her as she held it out, "because this is all one big trick by Grunkle Stan."

Dipper stared at her origami piece, and then her and shook his head. He took her own paper from her, which she didn't even notice as she was too busy playing with her little adorable armadillo. He slid the two copies into a folder, placed them into his backpack, and he laid it on the backseat, and stepped to the drivers door.

"Mabel, we need to go," he called to her as he waited for her to snap away from playing with paper.

"Aww, he doesn't like you, mister widdle desert animal surbiber, but I do. Your capacity to ball up for survival and cuteness is not lost on me," she said in a baby-voice.

"Mabel, we need to go to the funeral," Dipper tried again. This time, she turned to face him, angered at his reminder, "and we need to get dressed for it. Come on, lets get back to the shack."

Mabel complied with her brothers request, and the two of them sped home to change into more formal attire. On this return, Mabel was quicker to ready herself than Dipper gave her credit for, and they left to the Gravity Falls Funeral Home on time. Dipper had a dark button up and black pants with belt, and as he stepped out, he tossed his cap on his seat before closing the door.

Mabel was less appropriate for a funeral, as she claimed this wouldn't be a proper funeral anyway, since Stan was actually alive. She wore a slightly poofy dark violet skirt that fell just past her knees, and a navy sweater with a single sewn image of a wooden crate in the center with a big yellow question mark above it. She grinned as she put shooting star earrings as soon as her bike was off and parked.

"Mabel, really?" Dipper asked as he watched her check the earrings.

"You're right," she nodded her head, and then reached into the same small pouch aside her seat and pulled out a rose pink headband with a small ribbon at the top. "Much better," she nodded, checking the floppiness of the ribbon.

"Lets just get inside already," Dipper growled as he stepped to the door. Mabel followed suit as they stepped through the doors. Gravity Falls Funeral home was not remotely close to the word spacious. The main room for the ceremony had enough seats for maybe twenty people total, most of which was being taken by various church pews.

"Oh man," Dipper said after stepping inside, and looking ahead.

"What Dip?" Mabel asked, almost running into him. He lifted his hand and pointed ahead. A tall and skinny man with graying hair and sullen eyes awaited them, standing behind the coffin.

"Ah, the mourning party is here," he said in a faint and morbidly deep voice, "please, take your seat. We will begin once others have shown."

"Uh... I'm not sure others will show, sir," Dipper stated politely, and took a seat.

"Yeah! I mean, who shows up to a funeral when the person isn't even dead?" Mabel snorted as she made to sit next to her brother. The tall figure blinked slowly and then lowered himself to stare at the casket in concern. Her comment however made Dipper squint his face up, and he took a step away from her. "Hey-"

"Let's just wait until someone else shows up," Dipper said to the floor.

Mabel stared at her brother. Since coming here, the most common reactions from her brother had been cold and harsh towards her. She wanted more than anything to let him know she wasn't trying to get on his nerves, or be a jerk about this, but that she remained confident about this feeling of hers. She reached over and touched his shoulder.

"What happened to us?" she asked him when he turned to look at her.

"I... what do you mean?" Dipper asked with a quick look away from her.

"We're not the same," Mabel told him sadly, "it's like... we've been away for so long, I don't even know if I feel like we're twins anymore, you know?"

"We're still related, Mabel," he said strongly, yet didn't turn to face her.

"I... I said twins," she repeated. Dipper leaned back and let out a tensed growl.

"I just want this to be over with," Dipper said aloud, "I want this to be done with so I can go home and pretend that this never happened. Then I can live in denial that Grunkle Stan is up here still ripping off tourists left and right and is always wondering what us crazy kids are up to. Okay? So... just let me sit for-"

Mabel stood up from her seat. Her quick action had Dipper turn and watch her step walk and sit him down on the other side of the main aisle. When she sat, she turned away and crossed her legs.

"What?" he called to her.

"So, you wish you didn't get the chance to see me, did you?" Mabel asked away from him, and Dipper stood up to her.

"That's not what I said," he repeated, his neck too stiff to turn towards her.

"We haven't spoken to one another for so long, Dipper!" Mabel turned to her standing brother, anger shining through her, "and all you can think about is going home!"

"Can you blame me!?" he waved a hand to the closed casket. As he did, the caretaker peeked inside, and closed the lid.

"It's okay, he's still here," the grim looking man stated in his same bored deep voice.

"You could at least act like it's nice to see each other!" Mabel said, completely ignoring the caretaker, who shrugged and took his place behind the casket.

"I never said it wasn't!"

"You-"

"Hey!" a voice shouted as the doors slammed open, and Soos entered the front doors. "Sorry I'm late!" he peered the scene as the twins glared at one another, "oh, you guys totally beat me in the fancy attire, you know that?" he said, admitting to his outfit, which was his exact same one from earlier, with a single black bow-tie attached to the rim of his t-shirt.

"It's okay, Soos," Dipper said as he turned with a weak smile to his old friend, "I don't think there is any real formal attire," he added with a strong look at his sister, who returned the glare.

"Well good," a familiar voice called from behind Soos, catching the attentions of both twins, "because I would have felt, like, soo bad if there was."

"Wendy!" the twins shouted in unison.

"Sup dudes," Wendy Corduroy waved a hand as she stepped past Soos. Mabel rushed forward and slammed into the tall girl with a squeezing hug. "Wow, missed that much, huh?"

"It's great to see you again, Wendy," Dipper said as he approached her, extending an arm with a wide smile.

"Psh, get over here," she laughed at him, and with a quick clutch of his arm, and Dipper was tossed against Wendy and Mabel in a larger hug.

The two stepped away from their hug, and got a good look at Wendy. She seemed surprisingly the same, much like Soos did. This surprised Dipper considering the age difference between the handyman and the student employee. Her green eyes shone with appreciation as she looked between the two. Her outfit was scarily similar to how the twins remembered, with blue jeans, a green plaid shirt and white undershirt, with her lumberjack hat covering the top of her long bright red hair

"Holy crud you two got taller!" she said, putting a hand atop their heads, which were now an inch or two shorter than hers. "Neither of you are the cute pre-teens that I remembered!"

"I wasn't cute," Dipper said with a huffy grin, but Mabel smacked his shoulder.

"You sneezed like kittens," she told him.

"Do you still?" Wendy demanded, and Dipper's face went pink. "Oh man, that's great!" she laughed with Mabel, "well dude, at least you're starting to look your part."

"H-huh?" Dipper asked, going from pink to red.

"You're gotten all mature looking," she said with a clap against his shoulder, "do you have some chin-hair there?" She winked as she walked past him, and Dipper was left scratching his chin and feeling a light fluttering in his stomach.

"I will assume that since the count of individuals present has doubled," the caretaker stated aloud, "that we can proceed with the ceremony?" The four took their seats, with Dipper and Mabel still sitting apart. "Very good." He approached a podium just behind the casket as cleared his throat, and Wendy and Soos both lowered their hats.

"Dearly... gathered," he began," we are... gathered for the joint gathering of Stanley Pines, who has left this town before his time was mostly up, and we wish to remember him before he left before his time was mostly up," the man said dully. The twins realized this was probably the worst funeral speaker that had ever spoken in the history of speakers. "And we are, of course, pleased to see the attendance of so many who cared for dear Stan."

"This is so touching," Soos said as he wiped away a single free tear running down his face.

"The secrets that Stan Pines held in his..." the man held up a printed of page from the internet about the Mystery Shack," 'world famous Mystery Shack' was a key factor in the town of Gravity Falls seeing many visitors during the summer. With this, the town, however entirely not present, thanks him."

"I would now welcome any of the members of the family to say a passionate word or two, but as seeing there are only two, I suppose anyone who wishes may speak. You have the podium," the man took several steps back, tipped on a wire and hit the ground, yet bounced back up without a single bit of recognition to his falling.

"Eh," Dipper said, but straightened his shirt and stood up, and walked over to the podium. Once there, he adjusted the microphone, and looked to the three, and then to the casket before him.

"Well, I'm not going to pretend Grunkle Stan was perfect. He was far from it, really," Dipper started, rubbing the back of his head, "and, uh, we all know that he was kind of a jerk sometimes. But I remember more than the times he was a jerk the times he was truly a good man. Where he decided he would stop being mean and help those around him; not because it got him a buck, but because it made everyone feel better."

"So true!" Soos bawled and blew his nose into an already tear-soaked handkerchief.

"This is the man who helped myself and Mabel really discover a lot about who we are, and what we want from life," Dipper said, a meaningful glance at his sister, who finally decided to give him the satisfaction of looking back, "and for that, and his endless support, even when he shouldn't have... like the time we fell into the bottomless pit-"

"Say what?" Wendy asked.

"Or the time he let us do our own crime scene investigation for a wax figurine which led us to fight off a horde of cursed celebrity figurines, or the time he helped us break into a mini-golf course late at night-"

"Dude," Wendy leaned up to be behind Mabel, "I missed out on all that?"

"But that's what made him so great," Dipper continued," it wasn't about what was legal or safe, it was about what we, as kids and growing teens, needed. So, Grunkle Stan," Dipper turned and his lips trembled for a moment, and he barely managed to quietly say, "thanks for everything."

Soos shot up and clapped while sobbing. Mabel and Wendy also stood and applauded as Dipper took his seat, and put his face into his hands.

"Well, I guess I'm next," Mabel said with a confident grin, and approached the podium, "wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Wendy said as the teenager approached and turned to face the three.

"Well, thank you all for coming here today. You know, I had a worrying thought that no one would show up for this event, but we all _killed_ that idea, didn't we!?" Mabel raised her eyebrows and winked around like a bad stand up comedian. Wendy's mouth fell open, and Dipper's eyes twitched horribly as he stared at her.

"That was hilarious," Soos chuckled," and in a totally insensitive, yet clever, way. You go girl!"

"Insensitive? Please," Mabel pulled the microphone away from the stand, which broke off a plate of wood, and then the entire podium crashed to the ground, splitting apart. "Oh. Uh, whoops- but anyway, I'm not being insensitive, guys! I'm just here to break the news!"

"Mabel, don't do it," Dipper asked aloud, begging her to stop.

"Guys, be prepared to feel amazement, as," Mabel moved towards the casket, and prepped to push the lid open, "I show you the truth!"

"MABEL!" Dipper shot up.

"TA-DAH!" Mabel roared as she tossed the lid off, and displayed the contents. Dipper's face lost all of its color, and Wendy appeared to be in total shock. Soos stared while nodding his head.

"Yeah, he looks dead all right," Soos said as he looked inside the coffin.

Mabel turned slowly to the unmoving body, and stared at it. There he was, Grunkle Stan, stiff, pale, his arms across his chest with his hat and glasses removed. He looked exactly the same since they last saw him, with his grey five o-clock shadow on his chin and cheeks.

"C'mon Grunkle Stan, don't leave me hanging," Mabel whispered behind her. There was no response. "Okay, the joke is over now, Grunkle Stan, old buddy," she said out loud, harder and more deliberate than before.

"Mabel," Dipper said, walking past her for the lid, "lets put this back on."

"But- but he's not," Mabel pointed to the body, "he's just being... a jerk!" she shouted, and turned towards the casket and nearly clutched Grunkle Stans arms, "you're not actually dead! I know it! You big liar-faced jerk!"

"Mabel!?" Wendy shot up as Dipper ran to his sister.

"Woah!" Soos called out as well. "No one freak out, its just a body!"

"Mabel, calm down!" Dipper shouted as he approached her, trying to put a hand on her shoulders, but she shook them off and suddenly ran down the aisle, past Wendy and Soos and out the doors. "Damn it!"

Without another word to Wendy or Soos, Dipper charged after his sister. The sun light struck him harshly and his hand rose above his head to shield himself from the light. He heard the sounds of running steps against dirt, and he saw a skirt fade behind several trees. He ran after her, and as the light became filtered in the pines and leaves of the forest above him, he found her, facing a stream of water sitting behind a large tree trunk.

"Mabel?" he asked her from where he was.

"I'm just an idiot, aren't I?" Mabel asked with a trembling voice from her spot, wrapping her feet in her own arms.

"I... I wouldn't say you're an idiot," Dipper said as he stepped closer.

"He really is gone, isn't he?" she asked aloud. Dipper couldn't bring himself to say it again. "I couldn't see it even when he was right there," she said, looking up to the canopy of the forest, "that he's really gone. I just felt, with every bone in my body, that he wasn't dead. No matter who or what told me the opposite, I knew it. I'm so dumb."

"You know..." Dipper sat down next to her, and looked to the small stream of water, "I kind of felt the same way."

"You- you did?" Mabel looked to her brother and shoved him down before shouting, "well why didn't you tell me!?"

"Because I didn't want to be hurt again!" Dipper desperately explained. Mabel looked to him for a long moment, and then back to the water, "I... one day, I just sort of felt like he was fine, and all it took was a phone call telling me he died, with the backing of the cops here and I... I didn't know what to think, you know?"

"Humph," Mabel pouted, resting her head on her arms. He watched her with sad eyes as she suffered exactly as he had. That was enough for him at least let her in on his feelings.

"If I accepted that he was dead, I figured maybe I could get past that pain quicker. I... didn't know how'd far you really go, thinking that he was still sticking around," Dipper sadly admitted, "and I didn't want to see you get hurt."

"I don't think you can help me avoid this one, bro," Mabel admitted. The two sat there, staring at the stream together, the water trickling down rocks and pebbles, splashing gently as time passed. Mabels head turned and found itself resting on her brothers shoulder, who in turn let his rest on her head.

"I've really missed you," Dipper said quietly.

"Me too," Mabel responded.

"Guys?" a voice called from the parking lot of the funeral home, and the two craned their heads around to see Wendy, followed by Soos, coming after them, "are you two okay?"

"I think so," Dipper shrugged, "just as well as we can be I guess."

"That sounds right," Mabel said as she stood up, brushing pine needles off her legs and skirt.

"You two totally don't have to go in there if you don't want to," Wendy told them strongly, "if it's too much for you."

"How about it, Mabes?" Dipper asked his sister, who grinned and nodded, "we got it."

"Oh good, because I don't like that caretaker standing by Stan one bit. Kind of looks like a skinny vampire, like he actually sleeps here in the left over coffins or something," Soos admitted, "and I totally didn't want to go back in there alone."

The four left the edge of the woods and re-entered the parking lot of the Funeral Home. As Dipper exited, he noticed only three vehicles.

"Hey, Wendy," Dipper asked as he and Mabel exited with their arms wrapped around their shoulders, "how did you get here? I don't see your... uh, car? Bike?"

"Oh, Soos picked me up, man," Wendy told him.

"Yeah, spotted her walking over, and decided I'd offer the lift. It's dangerous to be walking around the woods alone, you know," Soos told Wendy, who rolled her eyes.

"I can handle myself, you know that," she told her co-worker.

"True, but you know who else could handle himself? Gandhi," Soos said with certainty, "and you know what happened to him? He's dead."

The others laughed as the approached the funeral home once again. The caretaker stood outside, his arms folded behind his back as he glared at the four as they made their return.

"If we may conclude the services before sundown, please," the tall man stepped backwards inside as he faced them.

"Told ya," Soos whispered to the others, "really creepy."

"Now, since my podium and the coffin has both been destroyed by your actions," the caretaker told them, "I will permit you only to speak from this distance to the body of Mister Pines. No closer, understood?"

"Of course sir," Dipper nodded, and looked past him towards the coffin, and noticed a single touch from the scene missing, "sir, did you move something back there?"

"Excuse me?" the man asked in deadly tones to Dipper, who looked around, unsure if he had said something offensive, "are you questioning my buildings conditions?"

"Uh... no, where did you move Grunkle Stan's body?" Dipper pointed past the man towards the coffin.

The four looked around him and the tall man turned, and all were shocked to find that, indeed, Stanley Pines had vanished. The caretaker moved closer to the casket, uncertain as to what to do or say, and then he rounded on the others.

"Which of you did this!?" he demanded as he towered over the others. Soos quickly gasped and ran for the bathroom as he grabbed a crucifix from the wall. "I... I will not stand for this ridiculousness anymore! I want to know who put you up to this sordid prank!"

"Sir, this isn't any kind of prank!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Yeah, we didn't move anything!" Mabel also added.

"Then explain that!" he pointed to the coffin once again, and the three were agape without an answer. "I'll... I'll make you all-"

"Back, undead fiend!"

A tin bucket filled with freezing water and a large crucifix slammed into the tall man's head. He collapsed to the floor instantly, soaking his clothes in cold water. He still breathed, but his tongue lolled out and his eyes were no longer straight.

"Soos!?" Dipper called.

"Uh... just wanted to be sure it wasn't a vampire, you know," Soos said from across the room by the bathroom where he had just hurled the bucket, "holy water and a crucifix?"

"Nice shot!" Mabel congratulated her friend.

"I don't think that's what got him down, to be honest," Wendy said out loud, "that was the bucket's job mostly."

The four moved the tall man to the side, and then turned back. The casket was still empty, and what was more, there were no signs of a struggle or markings that indicated he was dragged away.

"Okay guys," Dipper said out loud, "we need to figure this out. Each of us needs to look inside one of the rooms, and scan around for any kind of evidence to suggest where Grunkle Stan went. Wendy, check outside around the building," he pointed to the tall redhead, "Mabel, check the office," Mabel saluted as Dipper pointed to her, "and Soos, stay here and guard this guy while I look through the other smaller rooms."

"You got it bud," Soos nodded, and then gave the unconscious man a scrutinizing stare. The other three began scanning the rooms. Minutes passed as they scanned every shelf, every corner, under the bed and desk, under the seats, in the bathroom stalls, under trees, and even on the roof, and yet they found nothing. Finally they came back, and Soos was now guarding the conscious and frightened tall man, who was staring at Soos with fear.

"What do you all want? Money? I have only a little," he admitted fearfully to the four as they loomed over him.

"Whose blood have you drained?" Soos asked quickly, poking the man in his head with a glove of garlic he somehow procured. "Come quietly and there won't be any need for biblical passages."

"Blood? E-excuse me?!" the caretaker said as he winced with each poke.

"Soos, hold on," Dipper said, stepping closer, "who else is here?"

"There should only be us!" the man cried out. As soon as he had, there was a rustling outside, and the four turned towards the door. Wendy was first out, bolting for the door like her life depended on it. When she arrived outside, she scanned around as Soos and Dipper gave chase.

"I... I don't see anything," Dipper stated as he breathed quickly.

"I could have sworn we heard some sort of footsteps," Soos admitted.

"We did," Wendy told them firmly, her face screwed up as she tried peering through the trees, "but I checked everywhere outside, and there was no one here man!"

"Hey guys!" Mabel called from inside, and the three turned. She was bent below the casket platform, and was reaching under a wrapping of small curtains. When she stood up, she held up something very peculiar in both hands.

"Well," Dipper said with a quick sigh and rubbed the side of his head, "I think we have ourselves a mystery. Haven't been back for a full day and we're about to get into another mystery, aren't we?"

"Yup!" Mabel said happily, holding in one hand a faint almost transparent white string, and in the other what appeared to be a small solid cylinder of a faint blue color that was transparent, yet hummed a cool white light as she waved it around. "Look guys! I'm a Jedi! VRHHMMM VRHHMMM!" she shouted as she swung the object around with her hand.

The four returned to the mystery shack hastily after their discovery of the two objects. The only delay they had was with Soos, who decided that to ensure 'no hard feelings', would offer the caretaker a big bag of garlic and onion flavored nacho chips. It was then the caretaker screamed for them to leave before the authorities got involved, and they took their cue to leave.

The group were collected in the gift shop. Dipper and Soos stared at the blue cylinder and string on the counter while Wendy leaned against the wall, going though a mental list of who would do this, and who could. Mabel was busy drawing a crude sketch of the funeral home.

"Boy... dudes, I have no idea," Soos admitted after a while of staring. "That sort of thing isn't like anything I've really seen before."

"It kind of looks like a battery, doesn't it?" Wendy said, looking down from the ceiling to observe the object.

"Yeah, but for what? And what kind of battery emits light?" Dipper scratched his cap, now sitting on his head.

"Maybe its an alien tube used for mini-men transport!" Mabel guessed from the floor, where she continued to doodle the building happily.

"Aliens? I'd prefer faeries. At least you can squash them if you can catch them," Soos admitted, "but Aliens have all that crazy technology."

"Let's not jump to any conclusions yet," Dipper called aloud.

"Yeah," Wendy agreed," besides, we already have, like, a hundred people who would want to potentially mess around with Stan when he was alive. Why add someone to the list now?"

"Exactly," Dipper pointed to Wendy, and then held up the two objects, "and all we have is a glowing transparent battery and a white piece of string. Mabel, you got that map yet?"

"Yup!" she stood up from the floor and placed the large paper down. The map itself was, for the most part correct, but many exaggerations had been added, such as the rainbow-unicorn stampede behind the building, and the hovering smiley faces that were added everywhere.

"A unique design!" Soos commented with a nod of approval.

"I like to consider myself a potential interior-exterior designer," Mabel grinned as she spun two colored pencils between her fingers.

"So, let's get this started: Mabel and I ran out here, by these woods," Dipper pointed, "and you two eventually followed, having the Caretaker stand by the door waiting for us. This means that there was an approximate," he counted with his fingers as he looked up, thinking, "seven minute window while we were outside, and the caretaker wasn't looking, for someone to hide away the body-"

"Or steal it. We can't rule out theft here," Wendy added.

"Right, or stole him. Which, if Mabel, you got this right," Dipper gave his twin a uncertain look, "there were only two doors that could have been used. We had the caretaker at the front door, and since he didn't seem like he knew what was going on, I think we can rule out for now he was involved with this."

"Sounds good," Soos stated.

"Which unless Grunkle Stan decided to get up and walk out himself, means whoever took the body used the door here, by the emergency exit," Dipper pointed to the main ceremony hall, where a small red mark by a door and a frowny face labeled the emergency door, "and the alarm wasn't activated."

"So whoever did this has a little background into trespassing," Wendy stated aloud. Mabel suddenly gasped.

"Guys, we're forgetting something really important!" she exclaimed and pointed to the office and bathrooms, "there are open windows in all these rooms."

"Those windows weren't that big," Dipper argued.

"You really think one person was able to carry out Grunkle Stan, and not make a sound?" Mabel argued with a knowing look to the others, "he was a big guy."

"If it wasn't one person, then who?" Soos asked.

"Not who... what," Dipper reached instinctively under his vest for a book that wasn't there, and groaned, "right. They're locked away somewhere here."

"One second dude," Soos grinned and left the counter, retrieving a set of keys from his pocket as he walked away.

"Is there anything we can rule out, at least?" Wendy tried.

"Sure. Gobblewonker!" Mabel proclaimed.

"Technically true, but really far from on target," Dipper commented, and faced the drawing, "it's hard to say. Probably anything brutish or big bodied, so giant creatures are less likely. So it would have to be human sized or smaller or lighter."

"What, no big bellied dwarves?" Mabel poked her brother in the gut.

"If they were heavy enough, wouldn't their footsteps have echoed or creaked the wooden floors?" Dipper asked to his sister.

"It was carpeted in some areas," Wendy pointed out. Dipper sighed, frustrated with their multitude of unclear leads. He was totally uncertain of how to approach this one. Mabel leaned closer to her picture, and added a series of lines protruding around the center of the casket.

"To emphasize missing person," she admitted with smile.

"Got it!" Soos called as he stepped inside, holding the fabled and mysterious Journal three.

"Awesome!" Dipper grabbed the journal from his friend, and placed it down, immediately opening it up. "Okay, lets put a limit on the size of creature that can fit inside without being noticed," Dipper said around, "maybe like... a hundred pounds?" The others nodded and he began to flip pages.

"Gnomes?" Soos pointed, "they're small and light-weighted. They wouldn't be spotted if they were being sneaky."

"And they can cluster together to do evil-nasty-deeds," Mabel agreed, pointing to the page, "aaaand they don't like us."

"Definitely true, but they wouldn't have much incentive to steal uncle Stan, would they?" Dipper replied, staring at the page of gnome facts, "why wouldn't they just come for us when we were in the woods?"

"So... four out of ten on the possible suspect rating?" Soos asked, holding a sharpie up to map.

"You can added it here on the stalls," Mabel pointed to the bathrooms, "that way the happy faces know which stalls they are looking for."

"What about ghosts?" Dipper asked, passing a single page on ghosts.

"Yeah, right," Wendy laughed.

"Why not?" Dipper asked her, and she gave him a look.

"It's a funeral home, not a crime scene. Don't people have to die inside the place to haunt them?" She pointed out.

"I... uh, it does state here that 'while hauntings do tend to stay within the area of ones death, cases of ghostly activity have been recorded outside of an expected region," Dipper read aloud. Wendy looked displeased, but said nothing.

"If it was a ghost though, wouldn't it be Mister Pines?" Soos asked.

"Pfft, I'm just going to take this one over," Mabel said, pulling the book to her and whipping pages ahead until she stopped, nodded, and held it for the others to see, "I think we can agree this puts our other suspects at the bottom of the list."

"Faeries? Really?" Dipper asked his sister.

"Well, Dipper, look at your evidence," she pointed to the two objects, "we have a pretty glowy thingy. Faeries like sparkles, like me, and I like that thing, so I think that whatever that battery thing is could have come from a faerie."

"Your logic is sound," Soos nodded.

"And as for that," Mabel grabbed the string and began to analyze it, feeling it between her fingers, and then rubbing it on her face.

"Is... there any purpose for doing that?" Dipper asked his sister, who then sniffed it.

"Woah, I feel like all intellectual now," she stated, holding it away, "it smells funky smart."

"What does that even-" Dipper started, but Mabel quickly shoved one end of the string into his nose, and he nearly gagged, "Eugh!" he coughed and wiped his nose, but stalled, "wait... she's not kidding, I recognize that smell!"

"Let me try," Soos asked, and was handed the string. After a sniff, he nodded, "hmm... bookworm. That's what I get," And Soos took one end, and quickly bit off a chunk. The others stared at him as he chewed, "hmm, it is really sweet though. Kind of makes me... oh, right, sorry dudes," he apologized with a chuckle.

"It tastes sweet!?" Mabel demanded and ripped some off for herself, and took a bite that nearly ripped it in half.

"Guys!" Dipper took the rest away, "we need this!"

"It's like what I've always imagined real brain food tastes like... sweet but with a scent of hard studying," Mabel pondered as she chewed.

Dipper took a look at the string in his hand, and put it closer to his eye. At close proximity, he could actually see that the tiny filaments that entwined together to make the string were melting.

"What melts when in contact with saliva, is sweet, and has strong scents?" Dipper asked to himself.

"Candy?" Wendy proposed quickly. Dipper turned to her, and then looked to the string. "You really think its some bad joke candy, like those nasty tasting jelly blocks?"

"This isn't a jelly block," Dipper proclaimed, excitement flooding through him, "but I think I know where we can find out what it really is. It does say Faeries like sweet things... Isn't there a candy store in town?" he asked to Soos and Wendy.

"Yup. On main street- been open here forever! Maybe if we find out what this is, we can discover who's been using it!" Soos proclaimed. Dipper quickly got up and made for the door.

"Yeah! Part two of the new mystery twin investigation; codename sticky smart!" Mabel cheered as she followed her brother. The twins had made it to the door when they realized their footsteps were alone. "You guys don't want to tag along?" Mabel spun quickly after she peeked behind her.

"Well, it may be a smart idea to stay here too," Soos stated thoughtfully, "especially if this person has Mister Pines. They could come looking for his stuff!"

"Dudes, you two got it," Wendy told them leaning her back against the cash register, "just remember- don't do anything stupid, without telling us later, okay?"

Dipper looked between the two of them, and slid open his phone from his pocket.

"Wait, you have a cell phone?" Mabel asked Dipper with awe. "Mom spoils you!"

"I had, like, four clubs. I needed to update her on stuff I was doing," Dipper told her as he stepped up to the others, "Soos, you have your phone still right?"

"Yup!" Soos stated and held out his phone for inspection, a contraption of older times barely kept alive by an assortment of duct-tape and the essence of hope.

"Here's my number," Dipper showed them the properties of the phone and the number listed to both Wendy and Soos, "text me and I'll make sure we can stay in contact."

"Gotcha buddy!" Soos nodded as he typed one button at a time, as Wendy casually flipped out her own phone and was able to easily punch in the number twice as fast as Soos could. After a moment, Dipper got two messages, one from Soos reading 'heya bud :)', and the other reading 'ur a dorkface :-p' from a particular redhead.

"Nice," Dipper smiled at the two, "well, we'll let you know what we uncover."

"Stay safe you two," Soos told them as he watched them leave, worry flickering in his eyes.

"If you end up beating anyone up, punch them once for me, okay?" Wendy shouted after them as they ran to their rides and drove off.

* * *

Well damn it, there goes my plans to update every two weeks... Amendment- This series will be updated every weekend because I CAN'T STOP WRITING THIS. SEND HELP.

Hi again guys! We're back in Gravity Falls once more. Does it feel nice, or what? It does, it does, you don't need to answer that one. XD

So, I've realized these chapters are going to be the largest I've written at average length. This is about the size you all should be expecting per 'half-episode' as it is. And if you missed from the note from the Prologue, this series is going to be ten episodes, so twenty 'chapters' like this one.

Huh. I feel like I'm missing something... can't quite pin it down.

Old Man McGucket: But her aim is getting better! Hyuk hyuk!

GAH! You, get out of my... wait, how did you get into my room?

Old Man McGucket: I used that fancy hole in the wall that this here sir made for me- (McGucket motions to a previously unseen Yeti hiding in the corner, frozen in pose)

...All I see is a blurry outline from a picture. (The Yeti, enraged at the poor reference, roars and attacks EZB) OH GOD! HELP! (The Yeti tosses EZB out the window with a crash)

Old Man McGucket: See ya'll good folk next time-a week!


	3. Summer, Idle No More: Part 2

Within half an hour, the twins had made considerably no progress towards their mission. Their first stop had been to the police station, where they were greeted less than warmly. Being related to Stanley Pines put them in the books as trouble-makers, which turned to be detrimental to their goal for help. When they came to the station, announcing the body of their Grand Uncle had been stolen, the attending officer scoffed at them, claiming it was no longer their problem. Mabel had to drag a infuriated Dipper from the officer in question.

With little to no help from the authorities, they turned their attention to the strange flossy-material. They made their way towards the candy store, and found themselves interrogating an old pudgy man, a red face and balding hair. Dipper was quick to begin interrogating the shopkeeper, who immediately was uncomfortable with the sudden and direct accusations Dipper made with the string. Mabel was quite the useful counter to Dipper's forwardness, as she constantly proclaimed the shop-keeper as Santa, and even managed to buy an entire filled-to-the-brim bag of candy. As Dipper spoke, Mabel had more and more candy that, eventually having eaten five jumbo sized gummy koalas and a bag of sugar-sand.

"I think I see the particles of air now," was the first thing Mabel said as she stepped out of the shop with her brother, "they just keep bumping into each other and away, except they can't, because another little guy smashes into them too- it just keeps going and going and going..."

"Uh... you're not going to finish your bag, are you?" Dipper asked with concern, looking to the bag Mabel held at her side, still filled with different candy. Her reply was to reach inside and slap into her open mouth a handful of gummy-snakes and Dipper looked to his sister with worry. "If you get sick, its on you."

"So what boring thing did you find out while... I think I can see into space," Mabel whispered as she suddenly stared up into the sky, and began to smile. Dipper sighed as he watched her gasp and her eyes dilated as she then bent down at looked at the ground.

"It's sugar-floss. It's not really meant to be eaten, but it's great for air-fresheners. You dye it with scents, and they are supposed to just stay fresh forever," Dipper explained, sniffing what remained of the sugar-floss. "No idea why this one smells like... I don't know from what, but I know this smell! Like... clean something! New... something!"

"GIMME," Mabel rumbled and snatched the floss from her brother.

"Hey!" he shouted as she tossed her candy into the open window of his car, and got onto her bike, and he stepped to her, "are you sure you should be on a bike at all?"

"There never could be a better time. Dipper," she placed a hand on his shoulder, "the time is nigh. Now we charge FORTH!" she shouted as she turned the bike on, and sped forward, nearly hitting her brother and spinning onto the sidewalk before riding back onto the street. Dipper yelped as he dodged her advance and ran to get into his car. She was already down the street when he was able to start after her.

What followed for a few minutes was among the stranger things Dipper and Mabel had done. At the center of each cross or end of a street, Mabel would halt for a moment, hold the string to her face, sniff, and wave her head around. She combed the air like a bloodhound for the same scent that the two seemed to know, yet could not define.

It was by the last street when Dipper was beginning to lose faith in his sister's nose. They had made their way through the entire town, lead by a single string, and the will of his twin sister. No sooner had Dipper been ready to pull over and try waving her down to try looking elsewhere when she stopped suddenly. She turned left and right, sniffing the air, and finally spotted something. Dipper drove slowly up to her side, and looked to her pointing finger.

"A truck?" Dipper asked as he stared to a shipping truck parked by the road, "not exactly what I imagined for the smell-"

"Nooo," Mabel put a finger to his lips as she looked in the direction, "smell harder... you see, it lives behind the truck," she said in deep, wise words.

It was the only kind of luck the two could have; a gust of wind came by and that same scent hit Dippers nostrils. He gasped and realized he was looking past the truck to the building behind it; a library.

"Books! Fresh, newly opened books! That's what the smell is!" Dipper grinned wildly as he and his sister nodded slowly with deep gratification. "Find a parking spot and then we should pop inside!"

"I think I can do that," Mabel nodded with an open slightly crooked mouth, and her eyes zoomed out of focus.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked with uncertainty," are you... okay?"

Mabel was, for lack of a better word, sort of okay. The world buzzed and zoomed in and out of focus around her as lights, that would normally be found to be perfectly normal, were spectacular bursts of color that shook her to the core. Even as a man approached her on the opposite sidewalk, the hideous proportions of the man's face erupted like tsunami's of sight. Her hand twitched at the sight of Toby Determined, one of the local reporters, and her biked sputtered forward for a moment.

"Woah... uh, just take it slow-" Dipper started, but then Mabel screeched and her hand slid forward. The bike roared ahead and slammed into a stop-sign, and she flew off into the short and unsuspecting and very ugly man, who shrieked as she flew at him. "MABEL!" Dipper yelled got out and ran over to her as quickly as he could.

"I'm good!" Mabel stood up, and walked over a stunned and discombobulated Toby Determined, who was groaning on the ground, his eyes unfocused and spinning.

"Dang... uh," Dipper said after looking around, "I'll just help you here... and uh, maybe you should get some ice? Maybe?" Dipper asked as he lifted up the shorter man and gently lifted him to the side to rest against the building. The ugly reporter's bulbous eyes became unfocused and closed, and he began to snore as he rested against the building.

After checking the status of her bike, which was miraculously fine despite hitting the stop sign, the two entered the library. Like many of the buildings in gravity falls, it was surprisingly large on the inside. Mabel took a deep whiff of the string and then of the air around her. As she let go the air with a sign, she looked to her brother and nodded.

"This smells exactly the same," she told him.

"Great... but why would someone want to dye string to smell like a library?" Dipper asked as he peered around.

"Can I help you?" a voice asked from behind them. The two turned and found a woman with glasses that truly threw her proportions horribly. Her eyes bugged out like crazy, giving her an insect like stare.

"Wow!" Mabel gasped and stared at her, "your glasses are amazing."

"Mabel," Dipper elbowed her gut.

"You think so?" the middle aged woman asked, adjusting her thick glasses, "I tend to think it makes me scary looking. Kids won't come in anymore unless I put these away."

"They make you magnanimous," Mabel told her with a grin. The woman smiled gently, her raven black hair with silver streaks shining in the light above her. "Hey," Mabel added, "what does this smell like to you?" Mabel asked her suddenly, and held the string to the woman. She looked to it, and gave it a quick sniff.

"Why, it is lovely," the librarian stated.

"What does it make you think of?" Dipper asked quickly, not wanting to miss the chance at getting something close to a professional opinion.

"Like a freshly opened novel, or perhaps a sixth edition textbook, or maybe a new popular magazine," the woman began to list, a happy smile as she dreamt about that smell.

"Well, thanks Miss Eye-sore," Mabel said with a thumbs up. Dipper quickly smacked the back of her head. "Ow! Hey!"

"She didn't mean any disrespect miss..." Dipper than read the name-tag on her librarian outfit: Isoar, "oh."

"I beg your pardon?" Miss Isoar asked. Dipper shook his head awkwardly to the librarian, and found a cross Mabel staring at him.

"My bad- ouch!" Dipper barked as she gave him a hard flick upside his nose. Mabel turned from the desk and marched into the shop- Dipper followed, massaging his harmed nose. As they peered down the shelves of books, posters flickered past them, ranging from "Mystery Shack Re-Opening," to "The Life of a Treasure Hunter" and other odd advertisements.

"I think I saw that one somewhere else in town," Dipper pointed to the treasure hunter advertisement.

"Dipper, come here," Mabel stated with a trailing voice. Dipper turned from the small poster, and walked to his sister, who was standing in a reading clearing, with several worn couches and love seats. "Do you feel something?" she asked him.

As he stepped closer he looked around. There was something off about where they were. Suddenly one of his hairs fell out from under his hat, and gently swayed back and forth before him. He pulled gently at it, and then stared at his sister. Her hair was also swaying gently back and forth.

"It's drafty," Dipper realized, "why would it be drafty here?"

"Well, duh," Mabel poked a tongue at her brother, "there is a secret passage somewhere."

"In a public library? I think it's more likely that the building just sucks at air flow design than... but..." Dipper found Mabel giving him a look, and he cut out his own second guessing, and decided to look around, "lets try finding the source of the wind."

"Yeah!" Mabel exclaimed as the two took to different shelves, and began to feel around the books and the air between aisles. "Hey Dip?" Mabel asked as they moved down one together.

"Yeah?"

"So... when we figure out... whatever this turns out to be," Mabel started," what do you think we should do?"

Dipper turned to face her from the other side of an aisle, looking at her with uncertainty. In his mind, he knew the answer that comforted him the most, but wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her. Yet he had no better answer than the single truth.

"I guess we'll bury Grunkle Stan, and go home," Dipper said simply as he turned away, looking as deliberately as he could towards other books around him.

Mabel stared at him as he did, and leaned back against another shelf, not interested in the search anymore. She had been anticipating that answer, and hearing it didn't do any job of making her feel better. She missed her brother more than she had ever realized, and now, watching from across the bookshelf, she saw a part of herself that she had been missing for two years.

Her mind considered the idea of even throwing off the investigation. If they were to keep looking for Stan, maybe she could get him to stay around a bit longer, and she could enjoy her own twin brothers company. Yet her guilt overrode this thought. She wanted this business with Grunkle Stan over; it wouldn't be fair to let his body just sit around if they had the chance to save it and give it a proper rest. Yet she could feel herself still argue that. Deep inside, her darn stubbornness told her as long as she felt like he was still around, he was.

"Yeah, I guess so," Mabel finally said as she turned from the shelf and continued looking. Minutes passed in silence; Dipper checked the rows of books while Mabel scanned the side shelves, staring at each cover with scrutiny. Suddenly Mabel got a tiny gust of wind in her eyeball and she gasped.

"What is it?" Dipper called from a distant row, yet very capable of hearing her.

"I think I was just blinded to the truth!" Mabel sneered as she realized that the particular set of shelves she was staring at was its own individual unit. Dipper trotted over quickly and with one look to the shelf he nodded his head. All the books were fresh and new, and in fact, the title of this arrangement was 'Fresh Arrivals'.

"That could be it," he stated. Then, as he felt his hands around the sides of the unit, he found something. His fingers felt a detached fabric of some sort, and tugged at it. A long pale string came undone and soon fluttered in the newly strengthened breeze. "It is definitely here."

"Step back!" Mabel declared, pushing Dipper away with a bold hand. She placed herself directly before the shelf, and with a commanding boom roared, "OPEN SESAME!"

"I do love that quote," the Librarian called from the front of the store, followed by a strong and harsh 'shh'. The bookshelf remained motionless. Dipper and Mabel exchanged looks, and approached the wood. Little to no indication of change was present, and Mabel tried tugging it to her.

"If this thing does move, it's locked down real tight," she told her brother, who nodded.

"Maybe its not a auditory command, but a puzzle," he guessed, and looked around to the books. He spotted one particularly outstanding and grinned. "Ah, a big mistake to choose such a well known classic," he said as he reached for e dark black covered book, "Dracula." He retrieved the book, and pulled it from its resting spot. Nothing followed. Dipper's hand fell from its pose, and he angrily put it back. "Maybe... this one," he pulled out a book with a cover of men in futuristic suits of armor and weapons. Still nothing.

Dipper continued ripping books off the shelf and putting them back for minutes before he angrily paced back and forth, wondering if there was something he was missing. As he paced, mumbling to himself, Mabel leaned closer. Just behind the shelf she swore she heard something. A ticking sound, like Clockwork.

"Maybe it's a multi-lock system," Dipper guessed aloud.

His heart raced at the idea of a bomb, but none of the books had any kind of triggering system, so he wondered what the source of that ticking sound was. Dipper growled and scraped his scalp in frustration when she spotted a single book, so boring sounding and dull that it caused her to groan.

"But there would be more than one region of draft if there was... did we miss one?" Dipper continued.

"Standard Dusting Procedures," she gagged as she read the spine cover. Without a hint of regard for the book, she clutched it and yanked it down. With a quick click, the ticking sound stopped.

"Dipper," Mabel called to her brother.

"Huh?" he asked, brought out of his train of thought.

"I... just removed his book. Wanna bet something happens when I put it back?" Mabel grinned, wiggling the book in mid air. Dipper took her jest the wrong way, and angrily snatched the book from her hand.

"I'm working on it," he hissed at her and then he placed it back hurriedly. He turned to continue his pacing when a very loud scrape of metal emanated from behind the wall. Dipper stalled in his steps, and the two of them watched as the bookshelf slid back into the wall, and descended into the ground. Before them was a rough and rugged tunnel of wooden boards and exposed earth around them that lead down, illuminated by construction lanterns.

"Cue draft," Mabel gleamed cockily as the wind fell out, passing the two. The dull scent of dug earth billowed past as well.

"Here," Dipper pointed to the floor, where a layer of white floss-like string lay, "maybe it was to mask the smell of... whatever this is," Dipper wondered as he examined the string below him.

"Wanna find out what 'it' is?" Mabel grinned at her brother, who returned a worried look. Mabel took the first step inside, and Dipper, after hearing the cranks and cogs that operated the door starting to turn to life once more, rushed inside with his sister. The shelf closed behind them with a snap, and they both spotted an obvious lever that would operate the mechanism.

"Wow, this brings back some memories," Mabel excitedly said as she led the way, peering ahead in the tunnels. Dipper checked his phone, and sighed.

"No signal. We're totally cut off from the surface down here," he announced to Mabel, who just shrugged.

"We got out of worse stuff than this without a cell phone," she reminded him. Dipper checked his phone once more, and slid it away, hurrying after his sister. The cave was slowly more and more exposed rock and dirt than boards and panels. Eventually, they came to a new entrance. There, a set of metal tracks lead them one of two ways.

"We're in the mines now," Dipper said quietly, uncertain of what could await as he looked both ways.

"Lets go to the right," Mabel declared.

"Wait," Dipper held her back for a moment, "maybe we should head back. Get Soos or Wendy to come down here. For all we know, this could be what we're looking for, and if we don't have backup, we could-"

"Dipper," Mabel turned to face him, and placed a hand on his shoulder, "trust me. Trust _us,_ okay?"

Dipper gave her a look, and then peered down the long winded path ahead. His heart skipped a beat at the idea of harm befalling himself, or more importantly, his sister. Yet her eyes shone with that same brilliant strength they had her entire life, and he sighed with a smirk.

"Lead the way, lady adventurer," Dipper told her, and she stood straight, saluted, did a one hundred eighty degree turn, and marched ahead.

The two walked for what could have been an hour, watching the path of the tracks lead through curves and waves in the earth. Their footsteps echoed as they watched ahead for any signs of life, sounds of movement, or strange smells. It wasn't until Mabel spotted an end to their present curvature that the two stopped.

Ahead was a massive chamber, easily hundreds of feet across that spiraled downwards. Two separate tracks, one that started from the opposite side of the chamber and the one they currently stood atop of, circled downwards to the center, much tighter and far more confined than the massive space at the top. Hanging from the ceiling were ropes and support chains that were still connected to vital areas of support, or hung loose and swayed slowly around.

"This place is soo cool," Mabel tried restraining her excitement.

"Don't pop a blood vessel yet," Dipper said, peering around, "I... I think there's stuff at the bottom, look," he pointed to what appeared to be a collection of tables, several chairs and some large cages. They began the careful walk down one of the two spiraling tracks into the pit. Their footsteps echoed louder and louder as they approached the bottom, all the while they took in the majestic view.

"Look," Dipper pointed to where Mabel was about to step. A single page of the poster they had seen earlier about treasure hunters had made it down here, but then ahead of that was a spilled selection of pages.

"What are they?" Mabel asked as she approached.

"It's some sort of research," Dipper said aloud, "look here, 'Gravity Falls, despite having little to no historical significance, has had an impact on paranormal researchers in recent times', and this one says, 'the evidence of supernatural is only deterred slightly by the sleepy-town feel of delightful men and women, from running grocery stores to gift shops'."

"Who could care about Gravity Falls?" Mabel asked with a crooked eyebrow, "do you think this has something to do with the government?"

"They wouldn't care to hide down here," Dipper thought aloud. Suddenly, from the depths of the pit, a voice called to them.

"Hey, Hey! You up there! I know you can hear me!"

The grip on the papers Dipper had dissolved instantly, and the papers fell aside, some spilling down below. Dipper and Mabel didn't even need to look at each other; for they knew that voice perfectly well.

"Oh, look, papers. It's nice you think I'm capable enough to saw my way out of metal cages with pieces of paper, but you've got the wrong genius. Get down here and help an old man out!"

The two ran faster than they had in all of their lives, barreling down the tracks with reckless disregard. Their footsteps thundered around the walls as they gasped for air. Their feet had minds of their own, desperation carrying to them levels of energy unprecedented in their lives. It was impossible, too wonderful to believe, that waiting for them down below, trapped in a large metal cage was him.

"Grunkle Stan!" The two screamed as they ran to him.

"K-KIDS!?" Grunkle Stan's eyes bulged out of his head as he saw them just barely above. They raced down and, stopping just short of slamming into the metal bars, reached through the cage and embraced their uncle. "What in Moses' holy name are you two doing here?!"

"We... we," Dipper couldn't get out, holding his Uncle tightly. The man sported the same grey five o-clock shadow he earlier, but his hair grey hair was more disheveled than usual. Large nose and ears gave proportions to his face and as he let go of them through the cages, they could make out the large muscle mass he still held in his arms and shoulders.

"You're safe!" Mabel declared as she looked at her uncle through the bars.

"Eh, safe isn't the word I'd use to describe our situation; but hey! Look at his nice suit I got for free!" he stepped back and spun, displaying the black suit from the funeral, "suckers gave me a suit for some reason! HA!"

"Grunkle Stan, you died!" Dipper looked at his grand Uncle, confusion wrapping his entire being. "You... you're supposed to be dead!"

"No he isn't! Otherwise he wouldn't be here," Mabel told her brother. Grunkle Stan only then looked to the two and his eyes widened.

"Look, you two need to go hide yourselves, okay? This isn't a safe place!" he ordered aloud as his eyes darted around in fear.

"Why?" Mabel asked. Dipper did a quick look around as they spoke, and only then realized that the cage wasn't the only object sitting around the bottom of the mine. A desk, dozens of large and small crates, and a large overturned wooden wardrobe all stood silently around them.

"What, do you think I put myself in here? Maybe I LIKE being locked in a cage?" Grunkle Stan asked them incredulously.

"Wait... if you didn't put yourself there, then who did?" Dipper asked aloud.

"I bet it was mole-men," Mabel said with a serious stare to her brother.

"Close enough," A gruff and attractive male voice called from above. The twins whipped around.

Standing above them with two Great Dane dogs on either side was a strong and chiseled looking man. Dusty leather jacket and worn dress slacks were completed with his even dustier and trodden leather hat. He had perfect eyebrows, manly and strong but well kept and natural, while his dark eyes shone down at them. His squinted eyes narrowed down on the twins as they looked up, and realized he had a revolver pointed right for them.

"Ahhh... darn it," Grunkle Stan sighed.

"Neither of you two move. I could miss a shot, but these two," the man above stated, mentioning his dogs, "will keep chasing you."

"Who are you, you devilish rouge!?" Mabel called above as the man slowly descended down, his gun trained on the two of them, his hounds at his heel. "You don't appear to be a faerie!"

"Yeah, we were way off with that one," Dipper admitted.

"I'm surprised you haven't seen my face around here. I may be new, but I was certain a few people came to my talks in this town," the man admitted.

"You... you must be Montana Jeffreys!" Dipper exclaimed as he watched the man descend towards them.

"Who?" Mabel and Grunkle Stan demanded.

"Good one, kid," the tall and handsome man nodded, his strong dark eyes on the two of them, "I'm a treasure hunter who deals with extraordinary artifacts and creatures alike. I'm surprised you knew about me at all. No one these days seems to know my name anymore," Montana Jefferys added with a bitter note.

"Your posters were in town everywhere," Dipper informed him.

"Forgot about that," Montana growled. He whistled to his dogs, and they approached the twins, forcing them to back away from the cage. He reached over to a table and from a drawer, pulled out a large metal key. He walked over to Grunkle Stans cage, and while his gun was pointed Stan, he opened it up. "You two, inside," he nodded towards the cage. They obliged, but only after a quick look at the dogs, who stared at the two with sharp eyes. Montana closed the door with a bang and locked it up, and tossed they key on the table.

"Now, let's get to business," Montana said aloud, and turned to the dogs, "Diana, get the book bag."

"What do you want with us?" Dipper demanded, and the edges of the treasure hunter's lips quirked up slightly, portraying a man who's plans were all going smoothly.

"You'll know in a moment," he said as the dog named Diana trotted over with none other than Dipper's backpack.

"HEY!" Dipper exclaimed, "THATS MINE!"

"You shouldn't leave your windows open in the middle of a forest," Montana said cockily, patting the head of the dog, "you never know what can climb in and steal something."

"It was the dog that we heard earlier!" Mabel gasped as she recalled to the Funeral home, and the sound of someone hastily running around outside.

"Give it back!" Dipper exclaimed angrily.

"I don't care about the bag, kid," Montana admitted, as he reached inside and pulled out a simple folder.

"Wait... the will?" Dipper asked with a quick blink.

"Bingo," The Treasure Hunter nodded and tossed the backpack to the cage, where Dipper clutched it and pulled it inside, "the will of the mystery shack. I want that land."

"Oh great, another Gideon," Grunkle Stan slapped a hand onto his grey hair, "well you're getting the same answer that he did: heck no!"

"It's not under your legal ability to decide that, old man," Montana told Grunkle Stan strongly, "it's theirs."

"What!?" Stan shouted, clutching the bars, and then looking at his grand niece and nephew, "what happened while I was asleep?"

"Wasn't just asleep," Montana explained, going to sit on a rickety old wooden chair," I hit you with a strong tranquilizer. Strong enough, I think, to put you into a serious coma."

"Oh... that explains why my mouth was so dry... and why I woke up in the funeral home... what?" he demanded from his relatives, who stared at him, "I just thought that was a wild vivid dream!"

"The cops said you died!" Dipper told his Grunkle.

"Aren't there crazy cases where people are in such a state of near-death they're often mistake for being dead?" Mabel asked, and Dipper gave her a look. "What?"

"Either way, since the official records state that you died," Montana continued, "your authority to decide the ownership of the mystery shack no longer belongs to you. But to these two have the ability," he pointed a finger at the twins, "and they're going to sign off their names, and I'll put my name at the end."

"Dude... why do you care about the shack anyway?" Dipper demanded with confusion, "it's just a tourist trap!" Montana gave the three a nice, long look, his eyes distant and cold. He stood from his chair with a dramatic step to the side.

"Oh cool," Mabel said excitedly to the three, "he's going to monologue!"

"Ugh, great," Grunkle Stan groaned, "tell me anything important comes up, will ya? I'm just going to do more important things with my life," he said as he sat down, and began to pick his nose.

"I used to be a great adventurer," Montana began, "people looked up to me. I was the image of manly actions and journeys: scourging tombs yet uncovered, fighting cursed creatures, evening getting a dame here or there. But... people cared less and less for tomb raiding and catacomb exploring."

"I feel like I've heard of Tomb Raiding before, somewhere," Dipper said aside to his sister.

"All these movies about mystery and horror, about romance and love- people don't need someone like me anymore," Montana Jefferys said sadly, "I'm just a washed up old grave digger by society standards now," both the dogs came walking up to him, nudging him with their noses, "all I really have left are my dogs."

"But this... this town could be the big bounce back in my career," he then continued with fever, "the research from just about anywhere says that this town hides secrets left and right. Missing persons, paranormal sightings, mysticism and all manner of beastly critters roam the night. All I have to do is get a foothold in, one that no one would think twice about; like that shack, and I'll have a source to capture as much of these things and sell them. I'd finally live in retirement like I dreamed I could, happy and safe."

"Dude, not to burst your bubble, but capturing these things isn't a walk in the park," Dipper told him, "just try getting a Gremloblin into a cage. It's nasty business."

"I'll take my chances," the gruff man said to Dipper, standing up, and reaching for a pen and the will, "so... let's make a deal. You sign your name off and hand over all the land to me, and I let you all walk home without a scratch. How's that sound?"

Dipper stared at the pen. He quickly looked to Stan, who returned the stare with uncertainty. The shack was worth everything to Stanley Pines, and Stanley pines was worth worlds to Dipper and Mabel. They practically summoned an army the last time an invader presented itself to the Mystery Shack. But this man was determined; he nearly killed Grunkle Stan in the attempt to take the property away, and now he had them even worse- locked in a cage.

Dipper's finger tips reached forward and took the pen, and he looked cautiously to his sister. Her eyes went from the pen to Dipper, and he felt deep down that he knew what she was going to do before he saw it happen. She reached for the pen with a deliberate grab, and with a yell she roughly tossed it into the man's eyes with force.

"OW! DAMN IT!" The treasure hunter exclaimed, holding an arm to his injured face.

"You want to try forcing us to give up our home, huh!?" Mabel shouted at the mildly harmed man, "well you can forget about any deal, regardless how handsome you are, or nicely toned out your muscles are! You're just being a big thief! A big thief with a great jaw-line!"

The dogs looked up to their angered master. He breathed heavily and his eyes narrowed in anger as he glared at the three of them. His foot then came smashing down on the pen on the ground, and he tossed the papers at the table.

"Let's see who goes through this better, then! You think you can stay in here for long without food or drink? I guess we'll have to find out," he sneered as he turned from them, and started up the spiral, and was out of sight in no time. The dogs remained, watching him go with a sad look in their eyes.

"Great... now what?" Dipper turned to the other two, "so... anyone have an idea?"

"I would have suggested that we drag him by the neck here and hold him hostage until the dogs released us, but I think we settled for throwing a pen in his face," Grunkle Stan said with a huff. Mabel looked to the dogs with a suspicious eye, and slowly pulled out remains of the sugar string.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked quietly as she tried pulling her arms around the bars and tried sticking the string into the lock.

"Maybe it will-"

"Don't even try that," one of the dogs suddenly spoke aloud. Mabel dropped her string in shock and the three instantly pushed themselves up against the bars, and as close as they could get to the dog that spoke.

"Diana," the other dog said in a warning voice.

"You two... can understand us?" Grunkle Stan gasped.

"I think you mean you three can understand us," the dog named Diana commented.

"Hahaha," Dipper snickered," you know that's kinda... true, you know... dogs are usually the one who understand... I'm the only one who think that's funny?" the other two merely looked to him, "Okay," he shrugged and turned back to the dogs.

"You two can speak English perfectly," Mabel stared at them with huge sparkling eyes, "tell me what is your secret, and I will begin teaching all dogs- a new order of canine and mankind can begin!" she attempted to bargain with enthusiasm.

"Trust me," the other dog stepped forward, her eyes narrow with mistrust, "Montey has tried teaching other dogs. We're just freaks, that's all."

"You call him Montey?" Grunkle Stan laughed at the dogs, who glared at him. "Hysterical."

"Wait... so if you can speak, then you can help us?" Dipper tried reasoning with the two. The closest huffed in his face and turned around and walked away.

"Why should we? You'd only just go and report him to authorities and then what? We go running for our lives forever?" The closest dog snapped at them.

"Nadia," the dog named Diana spoke quietly, catching the other by shock, "maybe we should help them."

"Are you crazy!?" the dog Nadia barked.

"You... want to help us?" Grunkle Stan asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"No," Diana said strongly, "I want to help our master," she said to her companion dog.

"How would letting us go help him?" Dipper asked.

"He wasn't always this desperate," Diana said sadly, "once he explored these crazy places because it was fun. On one of those explorations he discovered us. We became family so quickly, it feels like yesterday."

"It could be, for all we know," Grunkle Stan intervened, "you know, how dog years work."

"But all he wants is money now. Because he thinks it will make us all feel better. But it never will," Diana strongly proclaimed, "money is just a curse. We can be happy just being us, in a small home together, watching television or eating bad food or making fun of the other dogs who can't speak to us. I just miss my family, my sister and I," Diana looked to the other dog, who finally let her guard down and whined sadly.

Dipper had listened to the dogs, his heart strangely full of understanding. He spared a single glance to his sister, who shared the same look at the same time. It was one of the great 'near-telepathic' moments twins could have, and they understood fully.

"Hey," Dipper called to the two," I... I can't promise you that letting us go will help him see the error of his ways, but you have to make the choice to change him!"

"What?" The dogs asked in shock.

"Yeah," Mabel called from behind the bars, "you're part of this family, you two and Montey? If you never stand up for how you feel, he may never know he's hurting you!"

"Yeah, listen to these two, they're good at feelings and stuff," Grunkle Stan leaned into the bars as well, trying to milk the scene for its worth.

"You need to make a choice for yourself, not just let your future be determined by someone because you love them," Mabel told them kindly.

"Please, help us," Dipper asked them. The dogs stared at the three. The dog Nadia, with a clear and heavy sigh, walked over to the desk, picked up the key and spat it down at their feet.

"You will have a few minutes to run. But once he spots you leaving, he'll sick us on you. We're giving you a head start, but once he says go..." Diana told them as Nadina turned away from the three as Dipper reached and grabbed the key, "we're going to come for you."

"Thanks for the warning!" Mabel thanked them with a huge smile. Dipper reached around and slid the key inside, unlocking the door.

"Before we go," Dipper said as he grasped his book bag and slammed the folder into the backpack, "he's not getting away with these."

"Good thinking," Grunkle Stan commended the two, "now let's run like we still have a life to live!" The three then took off, taking the opposite path, and began to climb the spiraling tracks upwards.

"Grunkle Stan, I just want to let you know," Dipper said between breaths, "how happy I am to see you still kicking!"

"Yeah! I knew you were still here!" Mabel added with a great wide smile.

"Great, glad you two miss me," Grunkle Stan told them and dared a smile, "but we need to put our effort to running here, not yapping away about feelings!"

A furious shout called from across the gaping hole. Looking up, and still running, the twins spotted from afar a stunned Montana Jeffreys. He had just whipped out his revolver and tried aiming at them. To the luck of the escapees the amount of hanging wires and chains made it difficult for him to get a clean shot. After an exasperated groan, the treasure hunter roared.

"SICK EM, GIRLS!" he shouted as he took a charge back into the tunnel, and ran out into the open, leaping off the side of the cliff magnificently. Still mid-air, he wrapped his hands around the thick metal chains, and began to swing from one chain to another. One by one he swung closer and closer to the Pines until he took his first shot.

"Sweet Moses!" Grunkle Stan shouted as the bullet missed them by mere feet. "RUN FOR IT!"

"We're almost at the top!" Mabel shouted to the other two. Down below, the dogs began to bark and their charge against the earth grew louder and louder. The Pine family members finally made it to the top, and launched themselves at the first tunnel they found.

"You have any idea where we're running to!?" Dipper asked Mabel, who was barely ahead of him.

"No idea!" she smiled as she continued ahead.

The sound of a landing far behind them and barking dogs caught their attention. A sharp whistle followed, and the pattering footsteps were catching up.

"At this rate we're ending up as actual dog-meat!" Grunkle Stan worried.

"We need to do something then!" Mabel shouted as they finally spotted, hundreds of yards behind them, the two dogs and their furious master in chase.

Dipper peered above them. Every so often, they passed under a support beam. It in turn was also supported by other beams. The wood in use was old and worn, some rotten, some breaking already. The idea popped into his head; a risky, life-threatening, crazy idea. Yet he smiled; smiled wider than he thought he ever would when his life was on the line. He was more excited and exhilarated than he had since... since he had last been to Gravity Falls.

"Grab a tool or something!" Dipper shouted as he spotted several abandoned pickaxes and shovels.

"I am not bringing a shovel to a gunfight!" Grunkle Stan commented as Dipper grabbed a sturdy looking pickax and ran at the first support column before him. Mabel followed suit, and Grunkle Stan did too, albeit reluctantly. "I guess something is better than nothing!"

"Hit them!" Dipper shouted as he spun in his step, and smashed the pickax as hard as he could against a particularly worn support beam. It buckled and shook, splintering where he struck it.

"WHAT!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Grunkle Stan shouted, but after watching Mabel took her brothers lead, he grinned wickedly, "but dang it, crazy enough that it's got to work!" he too smashed his chosen shovel into the column. His strength easily outweighed the other two, and the three began to break one support beam after another, each targeted by Dipper.

"One more aught to do it, then drop them and just run for it!" Dipper said as he picked the last column and hit it. No sooner had he smashed the column than the ceiling above began to tremble and quake. Mabel's strike caused further shaking, but Stans' roaring smash delivered the killing blow.

The entire mine shaft began to cave in, piece by piece. Dipper ran ahead, spotting the light at the end of the tunnel as he saw the wilderness of Oregon ahead. He looked back, and was astounded to see the dogs and their master in hot pursuit despite the falling ceiling.

It was getting worse- large chucks of earth were falling around them and it became harder and harder to avoid the falling rocks and boulders that they needed to miss. They were close, so very close to fresh air.

"GOTCHA!" Montana Jeffreys shouted as he dive-tackled Grunkle Stan. The older man fell, catching the other two, who then also collapsed. Dipper fell quickly, landing harshly on his face. Mabel fell against the side of a tree trunk, smacking her head hard enough for her to see triples of everything. Only Stan stood up quickly, but Montana stood faster, and had a gun pointed right for Stan. Dust billowed out past them, giving Stan a cover for charge for the standing man. Montana shot at his feet, keeping the older man still, able to peer past the billowing cloud of airborne dirt and debris.

"No one... is going... anywhere," Montana told them dangerously between his hacking coughs," not until I-" A pained whimper came from behind Montana, and he instantly spun around as the dust dissipated. "No!" he gasped, and his gun fell from his hand. One of the dogs had her leg partially trapped under a large rock in the entrance to the cave. "Diana!"

"We have to get her out!" Nadia said to Montana in a desperate panic. Stan chuckled behind them, and he steadily walked over, and retrieved the revolver.

"Well, that solves a lot of problems in life now," he said, checking the gun. The old man stared at the gun and then the three before him, totally ignoring him in hopes of freeing the trapped dog.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked as he got up, brushing off dirt from his scraped chin.

"What should we do?" Mabel stood, rubbing the back of her head with each stroke causing her to wince.

"What should we do? Well, I'll tell ya, karma says we should leave these suckers here to their own fate, because they would have been willing to do the same to us!" Grunkle Stan growled aloud, hoping to catch the attention of the treasure hunter. Yet all that came to him in reply was the grunts of Montana desperately trying to lift the bolder and Nadia trying to push with her head as best she could. Grunkle Stan sighed and tossed the gun aside, rolled up his sleeves, and walked forward.

"Skooch over, tough guy," Grunkle Stan ordered Montana, who stared at his once captor in total shock. The old man, with his big muscular arms, found grips to the boulder and he too began to groan as the two tried lifting the rock. Mabel and Dipper also approached, and after a moment of struggle, the five lifted the rock off the leg of Diana, and they threw it aside.

"Diana!" Nadia rushed forward, desperately licking her face.

"Sis, stop it," Diana said in a strained voice, "you know that wont help-"

"I was so afraid," Nadia began to whine, nudging the head of her sister dog, "I didn't want to lose you." The pines took their steps back, and sat down all together and sighed simultaneously.

"Well, summer always starts off weird, but this sure took the cake," Grunkle Stan told the twins, who looked to him with watery smiles. After a moment, he finally grinned, and embraced them tightly, "and gosh-darn it, you make an old man happy, just being here! You two must have doubled in size since I last saw you!"

"Grunkle Stan, I need to know," Dipper looked to his Great Uncle, "how did you get out of the funeral home?"

"I walked out," Grunkle Stan told him easily.

"That's it?" Dipper replied sadly.

"As soon as I realized I got a free suit from anyone, I wasn't going to stick around to hear out the details. It was this chump and his dogs who were waiting for me," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "otherwise I wouldn't have ruined this perfectly cheap-as-dirt suit!"

The three laughed as they continued to embrace. It was the loud steps of a boot-worn foot that caught their attention, and they broke apart. Montana had walked over to his gun, and lifted it up, checking up for dust.

"So, tough guy," Grunkle Stan said as he and the twins stood up, "what's it going to be?"

Montana Jeffrey looked at the three from the side of his vision, to his gun, and then turned to his two dogs, still lying down next to one another. He then chuckled, and with a turn of events that made Mabel smile wide as she could, Montana opened the cylinder of his revolver and dropped out the remaining four loaded bullets. He then tossed the empty gun to their feet.

"I don't need it anymore," Montana Jeffreys told them with the smallest smile, the sun setting behind him as he stood before the steep incline of a mountain face, "I retire."

"A wise choice, sir," Dipper said, stepping forward to lift the gun up, but it was snatched quickly by Grunkle Stan, "hey!"

"Not for you," Stan told his great nephew with a critical stare. Montana turned to his dogs, and with a quick swoop, lifted Diana from the ground.

"What will you do now, oh great devilish rogue?" Mabel asked Montana as he and Nadia walked down the hill.

"I don't really know," Montana stopped as he pondered, "but I don't care anymore. Anything that keeps us out of danger for now sounds good."

Dipper nodded with the other Pines in appreciation, and only then he realized something odd. He patted his pocket and reached inside. There he found the blue glowing object, and stepped forward.

"We... uh... Have you ever seen something like this before?" Dipper asked, holding it ahead for the man to inspect. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped down.

"Diana, I need to put you down for a second," Montana told his dog. Once she was safely on the ground, he reached inside a satchel he carried, and pulled out an identical one.

"There's more than one!?" Dipper gasped.

"More glowing..." Mabel awed as she watched them both.

"Found it a few months ago. Don't have even a clue on what it is or where it came from... but I see you two are kind of good at uncovering secrets," he flicked the small transparent blue battery at Dipper, "so keep it. Maybe you'll get to the bottom of things. Good luck."

With that, he lifted up his injured dog, and Montana Jeffreys, a last bastion of old time adventure glory, continued down the mountain, vanishing into the thick vegetation. The Pines watched him vanished, a slight smile on their face and the light of the sun cascaded down their faces from the dying afternoon.

"So... who was he exactly? Some sort of actor or something?" Grunkle Stan asked.

The walk back to town wasn't horribly long, but it took even longer to get back to the mystery shack than anticipated. By the time they returned to the library, Dipper's car had already begun to be towed- much in violation with the twenty minute parking limit the sign stated next to the now bent stop sign. It took a lot of schmoozing from Grunkle Stan to calm the tow truck driver to let the car be, and afterwards, the three made their drive back to the shack.

"Mister Pines!" Soos shouted as he spotted his employer stepping out from Dipper's car, "You're alive!"

"Don't try fooling me with that old 'I'm so happy my boss is alive' thing Soos," Grunkle Stan told the running handy man, "because it won't have any- OH GOD!" Soos had grabbed the elderly man and lifted him high into a bear-like, bone crushing hug. "A RAISE! YOU GET A RAISE! PUT ME DOWN!"

"Don't let him escape Soos!" Mabel called as she stepped down from her bike.

"I am soo happy you're still alive!" Soos said again tearfully, "does that means I still have a job!?"

"Yes, Soos, you do," Grunkle Stan nodded and sighed, stretching his back and rubbing it to attempt easing the pain.

"Welcome back, boss-o," Wendy waved from the door, grinning wildly, "glad to see I didn't have to go looking for another summer gig."

"Ha, like anyone else would hire your lazy butt," Stan mocked her, yet put a welcoming arm on her shoulder as he stepped inside. "Oh man, did I miss the smell of naivety and a good business opportunity."

"You never change," Mabel gave her Grunkle a quick punch on the arm, and he chuckled with her.

"You know..." Grunkle Stan said cleverly, turning to the twins, "now that everyone thinks I'm a ghost running around town, this place is probably going to become even more busy with people coming to check on my after-life status. I probably could use an extra hand, or maybe two. How about it you two?" Grunkle Stan pulled the two together, looking between them, "want to stick around your boring old Grunkle Stan one more summer? For old family times sake?"

Mabel's face exploded with light. Her eyes grew huge and grin couldn't possibly grow wider, and she looked to her brother, who also was totally into the idea. However as soon as the light had hit the two of their faces, Dippers began to fade, staring at his sister. He looked down, and stepped away from the hug.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said, rubbing the back of his neck, "you know, I just... wanted to come up here and make sure that everything up here was... okay, I guess. You're alive, and that's great! But I have a summer job lined up that I shouldn't skip out on, you know?"

"Aw shucks," Grunkle Stan groaned, "so much for letting you guys into my new business plan then. Well, if you two need to be getting back, you should be leaving soon. Otherwise you'll get home past midnight. I don't think they allow teens on the street past twelve... or was it one in the morning? I don't know."

"Thanks Grunkle Stan," Dipper said with a sad smile, and he turned for the stairs.

"Uh..." Mabel looked to the others, who had already gone back to their activities working on the shack. She turned back towards the stairs ascended slowly. Dipper was quickly packed already, and was moving for the door.

"Hey... we should be going soon, like Grunkle Stan said," Dipper told her. He squeezed past her, avoiding eye contact, and she was left atop the stairs. She stared at her own things, and the now blank side of the room that she had for a day shared with her brother left a hole in her stomach. The mere thought of the twenty four hours that had just passed were unbelievable, and to think it was already over drove mad.

A minute later, she exited the door with her own packed things, as Dipper finished stuffing his suitcases inside the car trunk. He gave her a quick look, after which he then turned away. She approached her bike, unimpressed with its pink sparkly glory in thought of what getting back onto it and riding it home meant losing.

"You know... we should hang out this summer, now we can, you know, drive and stuff," Dipper told her from his car, turning to face her.

"Yeah," she nodded, half turning to look at him from only the corner of her eye.

"I... yeah," Dipper started a thought, but was unable to complete it, looking at his sister with the same defeated eyes she had. "You were right all along," Dipper told her finally, "and I can't even begin to think how stupid I really feel for not believing you."

"Oh, well, you know how those crazy feelings are," Mabel told her twin, mustering her best smile, "and those woman's intuitions."

"Yeah, proved me wrong," Dipper admitted with a chuckle, "serves me right for doubting you-"

"Well you two," Grunkle Stan approached them as they stared at one another, "you knuckleheads better be ready for that long drive. Also, since I'm not technically dead, you're going to have to wait longer than two years to get my shack from me, you two hear?!" he said strongly, and the two rolled their eyes and walked to their vehicles.

"See you guys," Dipper waved to Soos and Wendy who were waving back slowly, clearly disappointed at the twins' rapid departure. Dipper's car first made its exit, followed by Mabel. She gave them all one last sad look before turning and leaving.

"Man, was I looking forward to them hanging around," Soos admitted as he looked down, sitting on the porch with a thud.

"Yeah, dude," Wendy agreed, leaning against the side of the door, "this summer could have been awesome if they decided to stay here."

"They're older now," Grunkle Stan told them as he approached, "old enough to make choices on their own and live up to those choices. Sometimes, they may make a choice they won't end up liking in the long run."

"You're going to miss them aren't you?" Wendy asked him, and he stared at the drive way.

"I wouldn't be so sure on missing them yet," the old man said wisely.

* * *

Dipper drove his car down the empty highway past Gravity Falls. It would be another seven hours and twenty some minutes before he got home, and he desperately searched for a way to get comfortable.

A horrible tugging feeling pulled as his mind. Like a part of his brain was elastic, he felt like he was constantly looking back in the mirror. It didn't help that Mabel was still behind him, looking sullen and unhappy.

"I can't just shrug off this job," Dipper told himself, alone in his car. "College isn't cheap. I know mom doesn't have that kind of money anymore, so I need to save up! And dad doesn't have that kind of cash eirhter!" he said as he felt frustration and anger at himself building up. He lashed out, striking the wheel as he drove, and then sighed, staring ahead.

"Just... keep driving, and you'll get home," he told himself, as he turned on the radio. The first station that popped on was country, and the sad song immediately started singing about separation. Dipper groaned loudly and nearly head butted the wheel. He quickly reset himself, breathing sharply and steadying his hands back on the wheel.

A knock on his driver seat window startled him. He turned and found Mabel reaching over from her bike, waving at him with a grin. She reached back to her face, and struggled to pull off her sunglasses and look him in the eyes.

'Bye. I love you,' she mouthed to him.

His heart sank as she placed her sunglasses back on, and sped ahead, swerving slightly as she adjusted herself to be in the fast lane. Dipper watched her go, his chest tightening and yet entirely hollow at the same time.

"DAMN!" he screamed and he slammed his foot onto the break. His car screeched to a halt and slid slightly. He came to a halt so fast that his backpack came flying from his backseat and nearly hit him, instead catching his cap from his head and throwing it to the floor.

He looked ahead after taking a few slow breathes. Mabel had also stopped, turning to watch her brother. They were a good two hundred feet apart, but Dipper could tell exactly what she was thinking. She stared from a distance and made sure her brother was okay.

He noticed a humming from his backpack, and reached inside. The glowing cylinder resonated that same faint white light. He played with it for a moment, and the thought came to mind. It made him wonder what it really was.

"What the heck are you doing?" Dipper asked himself. He looked from the unknown object to his distant sister.

"When I come home, you've all gone, and there ain't no bed I can find-" the radio sang solemnly.

"Hate it," Dipper said firmly, spun the knob, and found an upbeat remix song about, to his surprise, revealing secrets, "much better." With a strong grip, he put his car in reverse, and he turned it, ready to get on the opposite side and face the direction he was just leaving.

"YES!" Mabel raced to catch up with her brother, and flew past him, shouting at the top of her lungs, "LAST ONE THERE HAS TO KISS THE GNOMES!"

Dipper grinned and his competitive nature slid into place.

"Not on my watch, sis!"

The two raced each other down the highway and through the entire town, laughing as they soared over pavement, concrete and finally gravel. There, still standing outside by the door in the late orange glow of the sun, was Stan.

"I was wondering how long you two were going to take to realize," Stan called as they jumped out and off their vehicles, " that you wanted to be here. Could see it etched into your faces." Dipper and Mabel ran to one another first for their first real hug in a very long time. After a moment, they turned to Stan, who was grinning at the two of them.

"So, I guess we're staying," Dipper said, trying to contain his smile, "do you need any help with the place?"

"Oh, your summer work not good enough huh?" Grunkle Stan joked with a nudge on Dippers shoulder, "don't worry you two. I have a huge plan to turn this building into something else. A renovation a year in the making!"

"I noticed you had new rooms and stuff. What gives, Grunklereeno?" Mabel asked.

"I'm going to turn this run down old shack into something real classy! A place that tourists can no longer even THINK to call a trap. It'd be a real destination!" Stan proclaimed as the S letter from 'Shack' fell off and crashed into the ground behind them.

"Classy isn't the first word that comes to mind, you know," Dipper admitted as they looked at the worn wooden building, "Especially when I think of the word 'shack'."

"HA! Exactly!" Stan pointed at the two of them, and reached down for a sign that had been face down the entire time. "Well, say farewell to this shack, and hello to," he held it up, and slammed it down into the earth, where it stuck, and read-

The Mystery Manor

Coming Soon!

Bring your whole family!

"Heh, I like that last bit. If they bring their kids," Stan grinned as he chuckled, "the little grubs will bleed them dry of cash for all the merchandise I can provide! Or wreck my gift shop... I may need to think this one through."

* * *

Somewhere, not too far from Gravity falls, a silhouetted figure sat- staring at a collection of screens in a darkly lit room. The dark room remained primarily lit by the multitude of screens collected by the dark figure. Before him a small holographic keyboard lay, and he clicked a single transparent button. A birds eye view then showed a scene- Montana Jeffreys passing off the blue object to Dipper Pines. The figure, sitting in front of the many other replaying cameras, leant forward to a microphone like object and spoke.

"Sire?" the voice called from the darkness was young sounding, fresh and willing to serve.

"Yes?" a deeper voice, gruff and commanding, replied.

"I've been monitoring the children who have located the charge. They now have uncovered two," the subordinate explained.

"Do they show any signs of discovering our location?" the deeper voice replied.

"No sir. They were preparing to leave the town, but have only just turned around, according to our trackers," the younger sounding man stated as he activated a new screen, which showed a black and blue screen of a map of Gravity Falls, where two blue beeping spheres resonated by a single building in the woods.

"Then we continue operations according to schedule," the 'boss' spoke.

"But we were nearly caught earlier today! If we were spotted, that could compromise our entire mission- we need to consider the models all running low on energy! And the charges in close proximity could bond in uniform-band width, which is extremely dangerous to-"

"Uki-Dohth!" the voice called back, having the person flinch.

"Yes, sir?"

"We are working on borrowed time as it is. At this point, we need to consider breaking our greatest laws if our procedures are to work. You of all people know the importance of success here, don't you?" the voice called back.

"...Yes, sir, I do," the younger sounding figure nodded as he looked to the town.

"Good. Continue with monitoring them all, and announce the next time an energy capsule is about to expire- we may not have such a speedy reaction time, "the boss's voice clicked, and the room fell silent. The figure stood, and slowly reached forward and touched his hand against the map.

"I'm so sorry, all of you."

* * *

And there you have it! Part two of 'episode one', done and done! Ugh... it's late. Editing and me aren't buddies. But enough whining!

So folks, what didja think? You all like it? Want to see more? Hate it beyond words and seek to see me boil in my own blood in a terrible death that would last hours and hours of anguish? Well, I'd love to hear from you! Well, maybe not the evil thoughts, unless they are constructive. :)

But in all seriousness here guys, please review! I love, love, LOVE hearing from you all. If you have a concern or thought, tell me! Want to check in to see what I have planned? Ask away! I won't give you spoilers, but I can probably let you know if this kind of story is the sort you will want to keep looking into.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next Episode- two chapters, keep with me here, folks is going to be called "Familiarity". Take that for what you will, but it's a wild ride. May or may not see some of that martial arts Mabel was talking about in the prologue. :D

Now, for my dramatic exit! OH-HO! (reaches inside desk drawer, and retrieves a grappling hook gun) EZB, AWAY! (EZB shoots at the ceiling directly above him, and the entire roof collapses in, crushing him and his computer)

...Ouch. See you guys next week... send help... owww...

* * *

**UDLGHUV RI WKH VWDQV ORVW XQGHUSDQWV**

**20-8-5 19-11-25'19 5-25-5-19 20-21-18-14 20-15-23-1-18-4-19 16-9-14-5-19.**


	4. Familiarity: Part 1

"You're going to do what?" Dipper's mom called through the phone.

"Stay up here, yeah. It's... kind of crazy, and doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but Grunkle Stan wasn't really dead! Mabel and I figured out what happened, and things are looking good up here," Dipper told his mom through the phone, sitting outside by the gift shop door.

The three had just gone inside with their bags when Miss Pines called her son. Dipper, as he rushed outside to take the call, told Mabel that she had better call their dad as well. He wanted to ensure they informed their parents of what they were planning; staying up at Gravity Falls for a tad longer than the plan originally called for.

"You sure your Grand Uncle isn't just guilting you on staying up there?" his mom asked suspiciously. "This sounds exactly like the kind of thing he would do if he wanted some free workers."

"Mom, this isn't just about Grunkle Stan," Dipper replied, looking behind him to the lit window, where Mabel paced, talking on the phone, "and there's something else going on up here too."

"Dipper, is this one of those stories you wrote about?" his mom asked after a pause.

"Mom-" he started, not wanting to debate the truth of his stories once again, a long done argument he had with his parents.

"Okay, okay, so you need to figure something out up there. Do you want me to tell Pizza Asteroid that you've been pre-occupied with something important? Maybe they'll buy jury duty..."

"I'm not old enough for jury duty," Dipper told her.

"Oh, I'll figure it out," she told him lazily, "how long do you think it'll take?"

Dipper looked around. The sun rested just below the horizon, and the orange glow from the sky above and between the many trees of the deep woods cast a warm light around him. In truth, he wanted to tell her he was going to be here all summer. The mystery presented could, in fact, take that long and he wanted to spend some quality time in Gravity Falls. Then again, he did need to go back eventually. He sighed as he considered the idea of solving this mystery- and looked to one of the blue transparent glowing batteries they had acquired as it rested in his hand.

"Two weeks?" he guessed.

"That's a bit of summer you're losing," she warned him.

"It's not that bad!" Dipper said back, "I mean, all I would be doing back home is waiting tables and flipping pizzas around, or whatever. Not exactly a job with a lot of training needed. It won't be that bad if I stay up here for a bit longer."

"As long as you think you can afford to do this," his mother reminded him as she spoke, and he waited for her to continue, "how's Mabel?"

"She's, uh, herself," Dipper said politely and his mother chuckled in response.

"It's been a while since you two last saw each other, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded sadly. His mother seemed to note the sadness in his voice well, and she switched her tone.

"Well, take your time up there. I'll tell your manager-to-be that you have important business that needs you there for now. Enjoy your time with your sister, and don't get into trouble slash get hurt!" His mom warned him and he happily chuckled.

"Okay, okay, mom," Dipper agreed. "Love you, okay?"

"Tell your sister that I love you both!" Miss Pines called through the phone one last time before he hung up. Dipper looked around the woods once more, peering around for anything of interest.

It still struck him as weird to be back in, to him, such an important place. The Mystery Shack, or Manor as Grunkle Stan planned it to be, was a pinnacle of adventure and life. It was a realm where struggles and battles he would never forget took place almost daily. Here he was, sitting on the deck of a place that would forever linger in his memories. He worried if this brief stay at Gravity Falls would add to those death-defying moments he came to associate with this town. He already had escaped from a desperately crazed treasure hunter and his two speaking dogs; what else could be waiting in the near future?

"DIPPER!"

Dipper craned his head directly above him, and Mabel peered down at him from the attic window she had just shoved open.

"DAD SAYS HI, DOOFUS!"

"Hi dad!" Dipper called and waved to his sister, who giggled and popped back inside. Dipper smiled and looked once more at the gravel path before him that lead to the main road. He then stood and turned to the door. Dipper walked inside and through the closed down gift shop, passing the shadowed cheap products his grand uncle would try to sell on a daily basis. He almost passed Grunkle Stan, who sat by the TV in the living room, lazily sprawled out on his chair.

"Catching up on The Duchess Approves?" Dipper asked with a knowing grin to his Uncle, who stared at the television.

"Ha! I wish they had that on instead of this crud. Can you believe they'd put all this other stuff on instead of genuinely good cinematic classics?" he told his grand nephew as he motioned to the TV.

"The remote is right there," Dipper pointed to the remote sitting atop the television.

"Yeah, I forgot it when I turned the TV on. But- it's this chair! As soon as you sit down," Grunkle Stan attempted to raise up, and found himself struggling considerably, "see? You go no where!"

"We now return to 'Our Feelings Guurrl: Problems of Privileged Teenagers in Suburbia'," the proper male television announcer stated clearly. Stan looked mortified.

"Dipper, if you have an compassion for an old man, you will hand me that remote," Grunkle Stan begged.

"... on the Channel Formerly Known as Learning and Stuff," the announcer concluded.

"Oh god!" Grunkle Stan clapped his hands against his ears.

"Here," Dipper sighed, and tossed his Grunkle Stan the remote.

"Oh, sweet release!" Grunkle Stan sighed and instantly changed the channel. The TV flashed again and again until Grunkle Stan spotted a particular show set in a pawn shop. "Whoa, what's this?" Stan asked.

"Oh, that's Broker-Nova," Dipper told him, "some of my friends are into it."

"This here is a priceless edition of George Washington's boy-scout ring," a visitor of the televised shop stated, "and here are sixteen documents claiming its authenticity."

"This is a really great item just to see for myself," the show cut to one of the owners of the shop being interviewed, and he started explaining, "I really wanted to have this in my shop, but I had to ask myself- was sixteen documents really enough?" the owner shook his head, "How much do you want for it?" the camera changed back to inside the shop.

"Six thousand dollars is what a museum offered me," the visitor stated.

"I'll give you sixty bucks, cash," the store manager told him up-front. The owner of the ring looked hard at the shop owner, and sweat started to form aside his head as he clearly had a great mental struggle before him.

"You have yourself a deal!" the visitor answered, and shook the man's hand.

"HAHAHA! That guy got stiffed! I love this show!" Grunkle Stan roared, and leaned closer to the television.

"I kind of figured you would," Dipper said, and left the room. Climbing up the stairs, he heard his Uncle laugh harder at the television, and wondered if he had made a mistake by introducing his Grunkle to that show. He shrugged as he landed the last step and turned to the hallway that lead to his room. He yawned as he swung the door open.

"GACK! DIPPER!" Mabel screamed as he entered the room.

"WHAT!? WHERE!?" he shouted, looking to all the walls, ceiling and the floor, thinking something was inside their room.

"GET OUT!" Mabel screamed, holding a robe up to her nude body. Dipper also shrieked, and tried spinning to leave, instead hitting his face on the side of the doorframe.

"I'm sorry!" Dipper apologized hastily and covered his eyes and flew out the room. With his eyes covered he ran dead into the wall ahead of him without a moment of hesitation, and fell aside. "Ow," he groaned, holding his nose tentatively, and the door behind him slammed shut. Dipper waited for what felt like an hour for his sister to finish getting changed inside the room before he knocked.

"It is safe to enter," his sister's voice floated from inside.

"Right," he hesitantly opened the door and slowly peeked around. Mabel sat on her bed in brightly colored pajama pants and her old floppy disk t-shirt, reading happily into a magazine about fashion for dances. "So... er... mom says she loves you."

"How is she?" Mabel asked looking up briefly from her magazine to her brother, who wasn't entirely sure how to handle himself after what had just happened.

"She's good. Her job now has her working a lot, but she misses you," Dipper said stiffly as he walked to his bed and sat down, looking dead ahead and blank.

"That's nice. Hey, check this out!" Mabel pushed into his vision an advertisement for a pair of pants of varying color and a lot of electrical wiring, "what do you think? You can plug it into your computer, and program the colors it changes to based on the amount of steps you take! It even comes with dances pre-programmed!"

"Yeah," Dipper said distantly.

"That's what I thought!" Mabel pulled it back excitedly, only to push another outlandish picture, this time of shoes that detect songs that are playing aloud, and then plays that same music with them, "we should totally get these in bulk."

"Yeah," Dipper once again agreed.

"Wow! You're really feeling this tonight, aren't you?" Mabel laughed and flipped through the magazine once more, and gasped, "what about this!?" she held ahead easily the most crazy object being advertised: plates, forks, spoons and knives that could only be used while in motion.

"Yeah," Dipper robotically repeated.

"Okay, two is one thing, but three in a row? What gives?" Mabel put the magazine down and stared carefully at her brother, who was initially unresponsive.

"I'm currently trying to focus on nothing. That way I can burn out the image of my sister, nearly naked," he said, not daring to look at her, fearing a full focus glance to her would spur the memory he dared not have.

"Aw, come on Dipper," Mabel tried assuring him, "you have to relax! That kind of thing happens with siblings! If we'd been living together for these past three years, you'd have gotten over it by now."

"But we haven't," Dipper finally dared to look at his sister. He was gratified with her normal appearance not providing flashbacks, "and I really don't need that to happen again, you know."

"Dip, you just need to roll with it. I mean, you were totally ready to charge into Grunkle Stan when he was in the middle of a shower," Mabel reminded him honestly, and his cheeks grew pink.

"That was for a cause," he growled in reply, "finding out the identity of that tattoo was important!" Mabel just laughed and pointed teasingly at him. "Okay, fine! I'll get over it, but I don't want to have to go through that trauma again." Mabel calmed her laughing and peered disapprovingly at him.

"Trauma, humph. I'm not even on the gross scale like Grunkle Stan," she warned him, but Dipper had already begun his thinking.

"Maybe what we need are a set of rules for this room," Dipper nodded to himself as he thought out loud, "that way, as long as we both follow them, nothing like that can happen."

"Uggh," Mabel groaned and fell back against her bed, already unenthused about the idea, "c'mon Dipper, it was just one hiccup in our stay. Can we not write a whole 'Declaration of Lame-Vacation' just over this little incident?"

"Here," Dipper said to himself as he withdrew a notebook and pen from his backpack, "we can start a list of potential rules. Let's start with the obvious," he said, and looked to Mabel. She sighed and put a pillow on her face. "Mabel, this is a good idea if we want some sibling civility."

"But I don't want ruuuules," she whined through the pillow.

"Well I think it's a good idea," Dipper said, "maybe... rule one," he started writing, "always knock."

"Whaaat?" Mabel sat up and looked at Dipper, "you mean every time I have to enter my room, I have to wait, knock, and then, if I get an answer, I can enter?"

"It makes sure if either of us are inside, we have the chance to get fair warning," Dipper argued.

"Fiiiine," Mabel huffed, "wait, what if no one's inside? Do I just wait forever?" she asked with an air of mystery and fear.

"Easy- five second rule," Dipper nodded to his idea, "and that's a sub-rule to number one."

Mabel again fell back to her bed, her face twisted in anguish and disgust. While she had always missed her brother while they had been away, there was a total freedom to having a room that entirely belonged to her. Not a single rule would be written for her living space. Her dad had 'house rules' that applied to her room, but she bent them as much as she could, usually getting to the better of her dad's patience. This would usually end in a heated debate between the two.

"How about rule six," Dipper continued, shocking Mabel that he had already, on his own, come up with four more rules before this new one, "clothing that is clean is to be put away in an orderly fashion, and dirty clothes must remain on the side of the occupant."

"Oh c'mon Dipper!" Mabel shot up again while scowling, "I can tolerate half of that, but not the whole whopping package."

"I feel like there's a joke somewhere for what you just said," Dipper grinned mildly.

"Shuddup," Mabel told him, "kill the one about orderly clothes having to be put away quickly and you've got a deal."

"What, so you can leave your clean clothes in a pile and never put them away?" Dipper asked her bitterly.

"You want me to throw my dirty bras all over the place!?" she demanded, and Dipper's mouth fell open in horror, "cus I'll do it, man!"

"Okay! Amendment approved. Just dirty clothes," Dipper growled as he wrote it down.

"Dude, let's just, like, deal with each other like normal siblings and stuff- these rules are going to be crazy in the end if we _always_ have to follow them," Mabel asked pleadingly.

"This is for the better. We'll have less to fight about if it's on paper already. Who's wrong?..." Dipper asked around like he was uncertain of a answer to an unspoken question, "...why look at that, this set of room rules already tells us who? Wow!"

"This is my room too, you know," Mabel said quietly, her lips puffing out in indignation. Dipper heard her, slightly stunned at her comment. He frowned, stood, and held the list above her.

"Point me out one then that doesn't work," he demanded of her as he loomed above her. Her eyes scanned the rules painfully. As much as she wanted to deny the fact, none of the room rules actually had negatives. She merely gave Dipper an angered sticking-out-of-her-tongue, and turned away. "Thought so," Dipper sighed.

"Why can't we just chill together?" Mabel asked deliberately.

"There," Dipper said, casually ignoring his sister, as he taped the list to the wall by the door, "fifteen rules to follow when living in this room. This should minimize problems while we're here."

"It's already causing problems," Mabel pouted quietly.

"I heard that," Dipper caught her, and she stared at him, "this isn't about the rules themselves, is it? You just don't want to have any rules for _your_ room!"

"Of course I don't, Dipper!" Mabel cried out exasperatedly, "what kind of maniac wants to come back to their room and be on watch for their own laws?!"

"If you break your own rules, it never is a problem," Dipper told her, and turned for his bed and began collecting sleeping wear.

"Like we follow rules!" Mabel called back, "if anything, since our first summer, we've broken, like, a bazillion rules! You're telling me you're a perfect little angel at moms?" Mabel demanded from her brother, who was slipping off his shoes under his bed, and retrieving a robe and bathroom supplies.

"I will be changing in the bathroom," Dipper told her with a air of ease, "as it states on the list- change in the bathroom when someone is occupying the room."

"OH, YOU-" Mabel furiously started, but Dipper calmly walked out, "YEAH- YOU... YOU BETTER STAY CLEAN! You... stupid, rule oriented jerk!"

Mabel laid in bed furiously, her arms crossed tightly as she waited for her brother to return. She had many a choice word to use in battle against him, and awaited her chance at full force retaliation. However time passed, and she was left to stew in her negative energy, boiling and reducing into a state of true teenage bitterness. She had not the will nor energy to even hiss at her brother when he returned from a shower.

"Yes?" he asked as he spotted her mean stares when he entered.

"You're poop," she said in a disgruntled voice, and turned from him. Dipper stood for a moment, wondering if the comically childish insult was worth being mad about. About five seconds of pondering, he shrugged, and eventually was in bed too.

Dipper was, to his shock, first to rise in the morning. Mabel was not far behind on the race to awaken, but the fact he had trumped his sister on the chance to be up before her was glory enough- it meant he got first shot at bathroom usage. His process was little interrupted, with exception to Mabel, who snuck inside the shower while he used it, and stole all the towels.

"Do it!" she called from the other side of the closed bathroom door, holding all the towels with an evil smile.

"Ugh!" Dipper groaned through the door, and he sighed, readying himself for the impending new pop song, "Fine. 'Baby just can't leave me hanging, my call for you has me all a swaying, so lets skip the dance floor because we have even more'. Now give me one of those towels!"

"You didn't siiing it," She reminded him, but he pounded on the door with his fist, and she relented, "FINE. Spoilsport," she allowed the door to open and she tossed a towel in without peeking. Dipper walked out a minute after with his robe and towel tucked around him.

"You're dead later," he warned her. Her reply was to fluttered her eyelashes and step inside the bathroom with her own abundance of towels and washing supplies.

Dipper stepped into the attic room and quickly began to change. He wouldn't be caught naked like his sister was, and so he made it quick with his boxers and pants. As he slipped on his button up shirt, he peeked outside to check the weather. It looked great; sunny and cloudless, the sky was a bright blue and the trees gently swayed.

"Good day for outside stuff," he told himself as he looked through the window. Pulling back, he then spotted something below, by the lining of the forest.

A small figure in the shadows seemed to be staring up at the window. Dipper pressed himself closer to the window and stared, trying to get a better look at whatever watched him. He couldn't make out any details on 'it', but it remained steady as it peered up at him. As he watched, it revealed a set of glowing red eyes.

"What..." Dipper wondered aloud, and decided he would have to take his chances. He turned and sprinted, running for his shoes and socks. After slamming both pairs onto his feet, he darted down the stairs, nearly running over Grunkle Stan, who spilled hot coffee onto his shirt and pants.

"AH! MY GROIN!" Grunkle Stan roared in pain as Dipper ran past him, through the shop, and finally outside.

"Whoa, dude," Wendy jolted aside as Dipper flew past her, and came to a halt by the gravel parking lot, looking to where he was certain the creature had been, "uh, Dipper?"

"I saw something from the window," Dipper told her while approaching a large bush that was nearby.

"Wait, like a 'something' or a '_something_'?" She asked as he crept closer to the forest edge.

"It looked alive, I had to see what it was!" Dipper said as he pushed his hands through the leaves and branches. He found nothing. "Dang it," he let the cluster of foliage collapse in together, "footprints, maybe it had footprints."

"Here, let me help," Wendy approached as well, and peered at the ground for anything, "how long ago did you say you saw that thing?"

"Not two minutes ago," Dipper told her as he moved aside snapped branches and old rotten leaves from the ground, hoping for an embedded print of some kind.

"I must have just missed it then, or... aw shoot," Wendy growled and stood up fully, "what if I scared it away when I got here?"

Dipper stood up too, and gave her a look. She appeared upset with the possibility that she may have inadvertently cut short a mystery creature hunt. As he looked to the redhead, Dipper remembered the feelings he once had for her, a candle long since burnt out. However, he didn't like to let her down, and he sighed and straightened up fully.

"Nah, don't worry about it Wendy," he said calmly, "it was probably a crazy shadow I saw or something. I mean, no tracks, no noises... you didn't hear anything coming here, right?" he asked her.

"Not a hoot from the woods," she replied.

"Ah, then lets forget it. I'm sure something else will come around here anyway," Dipper said warmly.

"Thanks man," she patted his shoulder," hey, you ever going to button up?"

"Huh?" he asked her.

"Your shirt, dude," she winked at him, and he gasped, and desperately tried coving his partially exposed chest. Wendy laughed at his desperation, yet gave him a wink, "dude, don't worry. Won't tell anyone I saw."

"Like it's anything to see," Dipper rolled his eyes dissatisfied.

"What?" she turned on him, displeased at his self-discouragement and gave him a strong enough punch for it to make him wince, "no down-talking yourself."

"Ow... okay, okay," Dipper nodded with a half-grin.

"C'mon. The one thing I did hear was Stan shouting something from the Shack," she snickered and Dipper hesitated, aware of the pain he caused his Grunkle in the search for what panned out to be nothing. They bother entered, where the grand picture of Grunkle Stan holding an old-style ice pack to his crotch awaited. Wendy could not contain herself, and left the room and burst out laughing.

"Yeah, real funny, isn't it," Grunkle Stan growled at Wendy and Dipper, who was having a hard time keeping a straight face despite his guilt, "we'll give them out for free to the rest of you shmucks; free dumping of fresh, hot coffee. See how you like it."

"Pass," Dipper instantly said.

"Ditto," Wendy re-entered the room, having fulfilled her humor, and took her place behind the counter, rocking back in the chair, and her feet up.

"I LOVE FREE THINGS!" a dressed Mabel shouted as she descended the stairs, having Grunkle Stan drop the heavy ice bag onto his feet. He shouted as he hopped on one foot, clutching it with his hand, and still holding another to his injured crotch. "What an original dance move, Grunkle Stan!."

"We should totally try that," Soos said as his head appeared from the other side of the doorframe.

"You and me, brotha," Mabel told Soos, and the two began to replicate the moves Stan was making in his pain.

"Oh man, no one told me today was 'party up in the shop'!" Wendy cheered as three people, one injured, and two way too enthused, hopped around on one foot.

"Adding notable ridiculous memories in the shack to file... complete," Dipper said as he watched the three.

"Gah! That's 'Manor' to you!" Grunkle Stan reminded Dipper as he finally calmed down. Grunkle Stan blinked, and turned to the two still dancing, "and what are you two supposed to be? Burned alive flamingos?"

"Inspired by Stanley Pines," Wendy snickered with Dipper.

"Well stop it, before I pay you to keep both feet on the ground for the rest of your lives," Grunkle Stan told them as they calmed down, "eesh, is that how kids dance these days?"

"I've seen worse," Wendy added from the counter as she peeked into a magazine.

"Anyway, since my pain has reached a point of tolerance to my indomitable will," Grunkle Stan said around, "the opening date of the Mystery Manor is in two weeks. We need to begin construction of the exterior. We've got the space inside finally, now lets see what we can do about fixing the outside to look like its worth a buck or two," Grunkle Stan rubbed his hands together expectantly.

"Great, so what's the plan then?" Dipper asked.

"We spend as little money as we humanly can, while maxing out on curb appeal! So, I need a volunteer to go and grab supplies. And also food. Oh, and print out a fake building inspection safety license. We'll need those for later," Grunkle Stan added to himself.

"I can go get them," Soos raised his hand quickly.

"No Soos, I need your expertise in construction and destruction to get as much done with what little we have already. You're going nowhere," Stan said to his handyman.

"My job here, once again, is secure," Soos nodded happily.

"Wendy, how about you? Get into town and grab some stuff," Grunkle Stan told his other worker. She looked to him blankly, and shrugged un-enthusiastically. Stan clapped a hand onto his fez, astounded at her lack-luster reaction, "What? You're kidding me! You used to always want to bust out of this place!"

"Eh, not feeling it today," she told him in a flat tone and a turn of the page.

"Well that changes my perception of your laziness," Grunkle Stan taunted her, which she made no reply to, "okay. You two," he pointed to the twins, "get into town and grab stuff. Building material, like nails, but not too nice, okay? Then food- you know, that really processed stuff that lasts through a nuclear holocaust? All of them."

"The usual microwave meals," Dipper nodded.

"We can grab run-gurt! It's yogurt in a tube specially designed not to allow anything to come out unless you're running," Mabel said excitedly.

"Whatever. Here's fifty bucks for the food, and fifty bucks for the work stuff. Don't take forever, I want this place looking nice-ish sooner than never," Grunkle Stan said strongly, and he tossed the money to Dipper casually before turning back to the living room.

"Grunkle Stan, fifty bucks isn't going to get us much in line of... uh... building supplies," Dipper told his Gran Uncle worriedly.

"Look, I just need essentials. Nothing fancy- just get me the absolute, bottom of the bucket, bare minimum crud you can scrap off a house-depot floor you possibly can," Grunkle Stan told him as he disappeared, "same goes for the food!"

"Fine," Dipper turned for the door.

"Hey!" Mabel ran and caught up with her brother, "I'm going too."

"Sure," Dipper said as he stepped outside, "but anything you pick that we can't deem as house-hold oriented doesn't go onto this money, it goes onto yours."

"Psh. Fiiiine," Mabel said, skipping past him to her bike. Dipper approached his car, and started to check his pockets for his keys. "Dip!" Mabel called him, and he turned. She was giving him a incredulous glare. "Hop on!"

"...what?" he demanded, staring at the pink bike.

"It'd be a waste of gas for us to keep going back into town using both car and motorcycle," Mabel told her brother, "so, hop on!"

"Mabel, we're getting groceries, we need the car," Dipper reminded her with a single chuckle.

"Fine," she growled, getting off her precious ride. Dipper nodded and felt around for his keys. Only then did he realize his wallet and cell phone were upstairs. "Uh oh, did someone forget their keys?" Mabel teased, while dangling her own.

"Mabel, if I'm going on the bike, I at least want some form of protection. It will just take a second to get my keys," Dipper told her, and he turned for the door.

"Hey, you going on the bike?" Wendy asked suddenly as she popped out from the doorway.

"Yup!" Mabel smiled deviously at her brother, who looked between her and Wendy with uncertainty.

"Uh..."

"Well, one of you take this," she said, and tossed out with a solid underhanded swing to Dipper her own bike helmet, "play it safe, man."

"Uh, thanks, I guess," Dipper nodded to her with a truly faded smile, turning to face a gleaming Mabel, "we still should take the car. Just give me a few-" A loud, wood-splintering crash echoed from deep within the Manor.

"HEY! IS DIPPER STILL HERE!?" Stan shouted from within the building, "TELL HIM WE NEED STUFF FOR THE STAIRS! SOOS BROKE IT!"

"Hey, can you guys also bring some metal sealant?" Soos poked his head out from their room window, "I dropped my solid metal penguin statue down the stairs. Totally, like, shattered it too. Not the penguin, though, phew. Poor Lupe," Soos shook his head solemnly, "he's been through enough."

Dipper stared at the man above him, his mouth agape. The universe itself, once again, had conspired utterly against him and his efforts to play the game safe and responsibly. With a grimace, he turned back to his absolutely triumphant sister.

"You'll need these," Mabel grinned devilishly and handed him her pink sunglasses. Mabel slid on her own black sunglasses, enjoying every moment. "Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked, as he stared at the bike.

"N-nothing!" he stated, putting the helmet on, and regrettably putting on the very girly sunglasses.

"Waaaay too much swag," Mabel sneered as Dipper cautiously approached the bike, and tried hopping on. He was wobbly, and almost fell off. "Dude, just hold on," she told him while watching his struggles.

"To what!?" he demanded, "the wheels!?"

"Or me, it doesn't matter," she told him with a laugh, and turned on the bike, "but seriously dude, hold on."

Dipper lost his sense of dignity and hesitance as soon as the bike spun around. He very quickly wrapped his arms around his sister's torso, and held for dear life as she nearly back-wheeled out of the parking lot.

"Please, can you stay on the ground?!" Dipper called in the midst of the noise as they rode down the street.

"WHAAAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Mabel called aloud.

"I SAID CAN YOU STAY ON THE GROUND!?" Dipper tried again, screaming his best. Mabel looked back at him once and grinned, and Dipper's eyes widened in terror. "No, no, No, No, NO!"

Arriving at the joint food and construction depot, Dipper Pines left the bike a more traumatized individual than he could have ever expected. No less than five wheelies came about from his request for a calm ride, and he had screamed no less than five times to match. He was absolutely certain that death would have come for him at any of those moments. Stepping off the bike quickly his legs buckled and he quickly grasped a parking limit sign by the parking spot.

"Well, looky here," a voice called at Dipper. He turned and found an overweight and shorter cop with dark skin and full gray moustache pointing at Dipper, motioning to his comrade, a taller and pale man with a buzz-cut and large nose, "city boy here is having some trouble on anything less than four wheels."

"We should show him, huh Sheriff?" the deputy asked, nudging his partner on the shoulder.

"Let's do it," Sheriff Blugs told Deputy Durland impressively. They then quickly hopped onto Segways, and with a triumphant roar, the two blasted out of the parking lot at an astonishing thirteen miles an hour. They passed a field tractor by the road, and the farmer driving it cheered as they zoomed past.

"What a couple of roadsters!" the farmer cried aloud.

"Whoo!" Mabel said as she dismounted from the motorcycle, thrashing her head around to allow her hair to breathe, as she had a bad case of helmet hair, "you okay there, Dip?"

"I have yet to determine that," Dipper said weakly, trying his hardest to gain even footing, "I officially am going to get you back for this."

"Ohhh, I'm soo scared my knees are shaking. Oh, wait," Mabel sneered at her brother, "that's you! Bwahaha!"

Dipper quickly shoved her head out of the way grumpily, and Mabel gave a curt 'whomp,' but she still laughed. Walking inside the massive store, they instantly were surprised with strange mixture of smells; both the scent of cooking roast chickens and woodchips being sawn off on the other side of the building drifted around them.

"Well, the cruddy food is right there. Let's grab it all while we can," Dipper said deliberately, attempting to move away from his embarrassing entrance with his sister. He grabbed and started pushing a cart and began his search for the ultimate savings he could.

"Ohhh, Dipper," she called as they entirely skipped an isle of snacks and sweets, "let's grab some sugar-rolls!"

"No way, they cost a ton, and they only come in packages of eight. Grunkle Stan would totally hog all of them, or you would," Dipper scolded her, and she tossed them back over her shoulder.

"Pluh. Fine," she grumbled. "At least can we grab some super-ultra-highly-industrial sugar dots?" she pointed at a large cartridge of sugar.

"Ew, no," Dipper said, "they aren't even edible unless you boil them, I think."

"I could totally break them down with my awesome grinding teeth powers," Mabel threatened the cartridge.

"Mabel-"

"Okay, fine, Dippy-downer," Mabel rolled her eyes and followed suit.

Many more times Mabel would try to grab an unnecessary food item for her joy, and each time she was shot down by her brother as she tried placing them, or sneaking them, onto the cart. Her desire for sweet and delicious snacks barely swayed as they moved away from the cheap food items and towards the construction side of the massive building.

Finally Mabel began to calm down. As she walked with Dipper, she began to roam from displayed and semi-neat folded clothes to entire sale racks; staring at ridiculous skirts, jackets, and of course, sweaters. Dipper grew tired of her distractions, and Mabel eventually was infected by his defiance, and she gave into his forward attitude. She would be damned, however, if she would merely walk around with her brother in silence.

"So, bro-man," she tried after a moment of walking, "what have you been up to, anyway?"

"Huh?" he asked, uncertain if she was actually asking a sane question or not.

"What have you been up to?" she asked again, "I am communicating in a way the Dipper can comprehend, yes?"

"Yeah- uh, yes, you are," he said, counting away discount nails from a bin, "like, do you mean at school?"

"Sure! School, home, between, whatever," she explained excitedly, "I bet it's all super smart and boring," she hung at the front end of the cart, blocking Dipper's vision.

"It's not boring. I joined the math club, chess club, the puzzle league united, and the book club," he listed off, "and I'm thinking about making a paranormal mysteries club, but-"

"Jeesh, I wasn't wrong," Mabel laughed as she let herself roll into the cart, and fell gently onto the spare nails, "ow."

"Serves you right," Dipper said as she crawled out and back to her 'hanging-off-the-cart' position, "and I've been at the top in school grades for a bit. Gives me tutoring chances. That's paid work once I'm a junior," Dipper told her with a cocky smile. She stuck out her tongue to the side, displaying her disinterest in the subject. "Well fine then, miss 'excitement is my middle name'," Dipper called her out, "what have you been doing?"

"Martial arts!" she proclaimed with a burst of energy and volume.

"Really?" Dipper asked, genuinely surprised, "you started learning karate?"

"Not karate! I've discovered this really new, and super cool subject known as 'The Paths'. It's so new that it barely has a history behind it at all!" Mabel explained excitedly.

"Does that make you a martial-hipster?" Dipper asked her.

"Makes me awesome, is what it makes me," Mabel told him proudly, "I get to be part of living history!"

"You any good at it?" he asked her as casually as he could, trying to mask his immense curiosity that was growing inside him.

"I think so," Mabel shrugged, "my teacher seems to think so anyway."

"Wow. Well, that is pretty cool, gotta give it to ya," Dipper shook his head as he considered his impressive facts were all club memberships or leaderships. His sister could have been learning to break stone boards in half with her face, and here he thought being the undefeated junior chess master at school was bragging rights.

"Aww yeaaah," Mabel grabbed her shoulders casually, crossing her arms in a 'victory salute', "Mabel Pines: official badass."

"Okay, okay, enough stroking the ego," Dipper laughed and poked her nose, which caused her to flinch. She grinned at him after rubbing her insulted nose. He had lightened up, just for a moment; long enough for them to really enjoy their company. Looking to him with her own grin, she couldn't help but wonder the inevitable question for their departure.

"So," Mabel started, "when do you think we're heading back?"

"I told mom about two weeks," Dipper said easily as he looked at sealants for the roof, "about as much time I hope this crazy blue glowing stick thing mystery can be solved."

"Only two weeks?" Mabel repeated, deflated. Dipper looked towards her, her saddened tone not lost on his hearing.

"Mabel, it's a good amount of time," Dipper reminded her.

"That's like less than twenty days," Mabel told him sadly.

"It's exactly fourteen," Dipper sighed at her inaccurate estimation.

"Oh c'mon," Mabel groaned, "we can stay a bit longer than that, can't we? I mean... we just got here, you know?"

"I know," Dipper nodded as he selected the needed product and tossed it into the cart, "I get you, Mabel, I do. I... I don't really want to go either. But we have our own obligations. I've got my job that's going to help me towards college, and you've... well, you have your martial arts stuff you'll want to learn."

"Well, yeah... I guess you're right," Mabel shrugged and hopped off the cart to walk ahead. She gloomily looked down an aisle, hoping to find possibly bright colored 'something' to put her mind to ease. Down the large aisle though, she did spot something that piqued her interest.

A blue and white hat that matched Dipper's revealed itself before disappearing into an row. It wasn't the hat that truly befuddled her, but the appearance of the wearer. It was shorter than her, with curly brown hair. Mabel stepped away from Dipper and the cart, approaching the aisle.

"Mabel?" Dipper called to his sister as she walked away.

"Hold on," she held a hand up as she approached the row. Stepping inside, she found only a collection of winter shirts very out of season and several broken mannequins. She brought herself to the opposite end, scanning the other end for signs of movement.

"Mabel, what are you doing?" Dipper called her from the other end.

"I thought I saw a kid that looked just like you," she said with wonder, "wanted to let him know how adorable he looked."

"I didn't look adorable," Dipper defended himself.

"Okay, macho man," Mabel rolled her eyes and walked over to him. Her steps stopped as she looked to her side. A single mannequin stared blankly forward, and she glared back. "You got something to say, bub?" she growled with a throaty voice at the plastic creation, poking it in the eye once. It bobbled around, and collapsed to the floor, falling apart around Mabel. "Let's go," she stated nonchalantly.

"Good idea," Dipper agreed as they hurried off.

They left the depot store quickly enough, stopped at the photocopiers, and still got back to the Mystery Shack in good time. On the way back, Dipper had bag duty, which coupled horribly with his new fear of riding a motorcycle with Mabel. They nearly lost all the bags twice, due to Mabel trying to frighten her brother with risky swerves from the bike, and he nearly lost the bags each time in favor of balancing himself. Arriving to the Shack, they were met by Grunkle Stan and Soos, who were ready for construction.

"Wonderful. Soos, you and Dipper start fixing that darn roof to the best of our materials ability. I am not above you using tree sap to fix things," Grunkle Stan told Soos and Dipper.

"Sure thing, Mister Pines," Soos nodded, and happily nudged Dipper, "ladder's over here, I'll show you how this sort of thing works."

"And you," Grunkle Stan gave Mabel a look, "shove these away, will ya?" he said, plopping the bag into her arms as he turned and left for the living room. "And when you're done, slap a few of these around the sides of the building," he pointed to the copied safety certifications.

"Sorting time," Mabel began to hum an upbeat theme song from a T-V show she had seen once in her past. She walked past Wendy who was in her usual spot, feet up, face inside a magazine, happily reading whatever she could. "Rubber noodles in the cabinets," Mabel hummed aloud, and stuffed away each item of terrible nutrition.

"Mabel," Wendy called from the other room.

"Yo!" Mabel called back from the kitchen.

"Dude, how does Dipper handle being on the bike?"

"Oh my god Wendy," Mabel got up and walked into the other room, better to talk to her friend, "you should have seen his face! He was first kind of freaked out, but then- WAAHH!" she let out a terrified squeal in the same pitch as Dipper had on the ride to the depot. Wendy and her both started cracking up and laughing.

"Quiet the mockery!" Stan called from the living room, "I can't hear these scrubs being scammed on TV!" The two snickered and relaxed.

"You know, me and Soos were kinda bummed when you two started heading out yesterday," Wendy told a laugh-recovering Mabel, "this summer is going to be way cooler since you two are going to stick around."

"Whaaat? We aren't that cool," Mabel shrugged off the comment, lying on the floor at ease as she and Wendy talked.

"Cooler than a lot of people around here," Wendy admitted with a hint of sadness.

"But you have nice friends around here," Mabel pointed out. Wendy put her magazine down, better to talk.

"Yeah, not really much to do with my friends anymore, honestly," Wendy admitted.

"What? But you're awesome!" Mabel told her strongly. Wendy laughed.

"Think so, huh? Well... things got between us all one way or another. Like Robbie and me," her voice dropped considerably and her excitement fell as she recalled her ex-boyfriend.

"Oh, I forgot about Robbie," Mabel mused.

"Wish I could," Wendy stated with annoyance.

"How is he, then?" Mabel asked, an evil grin growing as she considered nasty plans against him, "we should strand him in the middle of the lake and see how long it takes for the Gobblewonker to show up."

"Like it would want to eat him. He's nothing but skin and bone," she reminded Mabel, who gagged while sticking out her tongue, "he actually left town, you know."

"Whaaat? He got over you?" Mabel asked with curiosity.

"Eh," Wendy seemed uncomfortable with the topic suddenly, rubbing the back of her neck, "sort of. I'm... not really sure I want to talk about it."

"Whoa, Wendy," Mabel stood and walked over to her, "that's like the first time I've ever seen you uncertain about... anything!"

"Yeah... change of topic, please?" Wendy asked with a plea.

"Yeah, of course! And what else to change topics, than with... SPARKLES!" Mabel reached into her pockets and launched into the air two handfuls of glitter, which flew everywhere in it's varying rainbow colors. "Let the colors touch your soul."

"You are the most prepared person for random needs I've ever met," Wendy informed Mabel.

"Glitter is more important than people realize," Mabel lectured, "it can turn projects of 'B' plus into an 'A' range any day! Also, I was going to throw them onto Dipper if he screamed too womanly, just to let him know his accomplishment," Mabel added. Wendy chuckled, and leaned back against her stool, and her feet were back up. Mabel stared at her older friend for a moment, and the idea for advice came to her. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Mmhmm," Wendy said off-handedly as she picked up her magazine.

"So... Dipper and me, we've... kinda become distant," Mabel said as she leaned on the counter, "and I think we can feel it. We're sort of... I think we're uncomfortable with each other now."

"Really? You two?" Wendy asked, peeking to the side from her magazine, "man, what happened? You two get into a big argument?"

"Uh... not us," Mabel looked around as she considered talking about her families status.

"Huh. Well, you know, when people get all 'weird' with one another," Wendy started aloud, "you got two things you can do. Tackle it directly, like a freaking bear," Wendy said aggressively, "or work it out slowly."

"I like tackling things, but I feel like that's not really helping in this one," Mabel grumbled. Wendy shrugged, and Mabel groaned as she turned and slid to sit against the counter, "but waiting for it to solve itself sounds worse."

"Dude, I didn't mean waiting around," Wendy looked to Mabel over her magazine, "it means you take small steps together until you both are okay with it."

"Oh."

"Yeah. If you two are just sitting around waiting for the problem to fix itself, it's either going to just sit there, or grow into something worse," Wendy said firmly, "take some initiative, girl. You're good at that."

"Thanks, Wendy," Mabel smiled as Wendy leaned back again and lazily began to read her magazine.

"No problemo, dude," Wendy said. Mabel stood up, dusting her hands of the glitter that covered the floor.

"Well, I'd better go get that-" Mabel started, but stalled as she saw something from the kitchen. It was the same fleeting image she had spotted earlier at the depot- a small figure with curly brown hair and blue and white hat. Without a second thought, she bolted to the kitchen. Coming to a halt as she slid atop the tiles, Mabel scanned around. The capped figure had been disappearing behind the wall that lead to the fridge. With a seconds hesitation, she reached out and pulled the door open.

"What..." she mumbled as she looked around. The fridge was large enough for someone to hide inside, but it was currently nearly empty. As she closed the door behind her, she began to wonder what she was seeing. Then she stepped on one of the rubber-noodle packs, which exploded around her in a mess. "Whoopsies," she sighed, and then grinned. She realized the noodles could also be thrown onto people in a celebrative manner should an occasion arise.

"You want to put this handy sealer before it's been nailed," Soos informed Dipper, who nodded strongly, "and after that, you just move onto the next one."

"Seems simple enough," Dipper said with confidence.

"Ah, do not allow the deceptively simple work here put your mind at ease," Soos said with a warning, "The trick is making sure you can do it, like, five hundred times."

"Five hundred times?" Dipper cried aloud, "is there really that many?"

"Eh, give or take twice that," Soos shrugged, "and then more when your Grunkle decides where to put the rest of the rooms."

"Rest of the rooms?" Dipper asked, starting on one tile quickly. "Grunkle Stan isn't done building yet?"

"Nope," Soos shook his head, looking at the roof tile he had started on, masterfully finishing it within moments to Dipper's shock, "the construction was delayed until the building's condition was deemed 'safe to live in'."

"... Mabel and I were living in the attic of a building that wasn't deemed safe to live?" Dipper asked.

"Uh, probably," Soos continued, "but there's always the chance that it wasn't until after you two left that it was considered unsafe."

"I suppose that's comforting," Dipper said, finishing his first tile as Soos finished his fifth, "so what other rooms is he finishing? I saw the new bathroom, and sort of a new storage place?"

"Oh, that's just for his convenience. You see over there?" Soos directed Dipper's attention with a jab of his glue-brush in the indicated direction, "those markings on the ground?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded. In chalk outlines and several small orange flags, Dipper could see what could eventually become a least a dozen new rooms, and what appeared to be smaller room within each. "What're those supposed to be? Cages for animals?"

"Hmmm," Soos contemplated, "I actually think that's how Mister Pines put it. But no, they're going to be motel rooms."

"Motel ro- wait," Dipper turned fully to Soos, "you mean Grunkle Stan, the guy who hates dealing with customers that doesn't involve him getting their money, is inviting them to stay at his place? In an extension of his home?"

"Me and Wendy's idea, actually," Soos chuckled, "it was sort of a joke. We told him that he could make a lot more money if people stayed here, but he actually looked it up. If he called his place a 'haunted' or 'mysterious' motel, he could make nearly double what a standard motel makes."

"Oh... well, trust Grunkle Stan never to pass up a dollar if he can afford to," Dipper shrugged, comfortable in the idea that at least the motel would be completed after he left.

"You know. Smart businessman, isn't he-"

Dipper had stopped listening to Soos. He had gone to wipe his brow, as the summer sun was beating down on his head. In the turn of his head, he saw it again. A shadowy figure peering from behind a bush, looking directly at him. He nearly dropped his supplies as he turned and stared back. The creature remained put, but after a moment, it flashed bright red eyes.

"Soos!" Dipper called loudly, not daring to turn away from the animal below and across the parking lot, "Soos!"

"What is it? You having some trouble with the sealant can?" Soos asked, hardly turning to Dipper.

"No, look below!" Dipper pointed, and in the fraction of a second he turned to see Soos, the animal had once again gone. "Oh- what?! C'mon," Dipper growled, angered by the speed the creature departed.

"Ah yes, some of life's greatest wonders," Soos said, wandering over to Dipper to look the same bush, "is it true if you jump in a bush and land it, you'll be totally cool? Like in the movies? Ah, I really wanna try, but then I think, boy, that would suck if I missed, huh?"

It had been hours since Dipper and Soos had gone to the roof for maintenance. Mabel had retreated to her room since then, going through her notepad of bets she had made with her dad on things related to Dipper. So far she had crossed off on a double-digit list things like 'growing facial hair' and 'is part of clubs relating to intellect'. With a great wicked smile, one particular note remained uncrossed- 'doesn't scream like a girl'.

"Mabel!" Dipper called from the hallway outside, knocking loudly on the door.

"In here, nerd," she called back as Dipper entered the room, "enjoy the roof work?"

"Eh, Soos did most of it- wait, Mabel, I think I have a creature stalking me," Dipper told her as he entered. Mabel, who had been lying on the bed, shot up and looked to him with a serious stare. "You saw it too?"

"I keep seeing someone running around that looks like you," Mabel told him with energy, "like little baby you was still here, or something."

"Wait... baby me?" "Dipper repeated with confusion.

"Yeah, like... smaller," Mabel put a level hand closer to the floor to emphasize the smaller stature of the thing in topic. Dipper ran to his bed, lifted the pillow, and pulled the journal to himself.

"I was wondering since earlier today," Dipper said aloud," when I saw it looking at me from that window," Dipper pointed behind him as he sat on the floor, "what it could be. But Mabel," he looked to his sister, who sat down next to him, peering into the book, "if you're seeing someone who looks like me, we now have a credible suspect."

"The... shapeshifter," Mabel gasped in fear.

"No, thankfully," Dipper sighed in relief, "remember, we froze him back into the cryostasis pod."

"Oh. Who's dreaded suspect number two?"

"A doppelganger," Dipper flipped pages and came across a shimmering figure, one side a normal looking, happy man, the other a shadowy creature with illuminated eyes, "they stalk a target and eventually attack them, and then take their place," Dipper looked to his sister. To his disbelief, she was holding her hands to her mouth, trying to contain laughter. "What?"

"That is the silliest name I've heard yet," she managed, and then just burst out with a few short laughs, "okay, okay, I'm done. Wait," she added three more distinct barking laughs, "I'm good now. So, impersonating... does it say why?" Mabel asked.

"Uh... 'the cunning doppelganger has much to gain from impersonating others, such as stealing their property over time and hoarding it in a secret treasure trove, or just because it has a sad sense of humor'," Dipper read aloud.

"So he wants to replace you?" Mabel checked, "What should we do about him?"

"I don't like the idea of just waiting for him, but going to get it could be really dangerous," Dipper thought aloud, and scanned the page, "it says that 'directed bright light can reveal its true form, and prolonged exposure can cause it injury'."

"Dipper," Mabel told her brother seriously, "if this thing wants to grab you, we shouldn't wait for it- let's be proactive about this monster," she paraphrased from earlier, "and get it first!"

Dipper gave his sister a look. It wasn't like her to be interested in a mystery case so quickly, not without having an ulterior motive somewhere in the mission. Yet as he looked to her, no thought of other desires could reason her interest.

"Okay," Dipper nodded, "let's get some high powered flashlights and leave. We have a doppelganger to catch." Only then did Mabel smile with amusement. "What?"

"Since it's trying to get you, would it be called a... dipper-ganger?"

"Mabel, that's stupid."

"Heh heh. Dipper-ganger."

* * *

Oh noes! DOPPLEGANGER BEING ALL SNEAKY LIKE?! This bodes not well, my friends. At least it's got that nifty little weakness, eh?

How are you all enjoying this so far? Kind of hoping I can hear from a few of you dudes out there. With this being a new story, I would love a consensus of opinion. A lot of reviews so far have been positive, which is great!

Well, you guys know the drill. Review for me, you glorious men and women! REVIEW! AHAHAHAHA! It makes me especially want to have next week pass by extra fast!

Now, for this inconspicuously placed yogurt on my desk- I shall endeavor to devour. (EZB peels open the deliciously creamy looking yogurt, and slams the entire packet into his mouth, plastic and all.) NOM.

(EZB then explodes.)


	5. Familiarity: Part 2

The time had come. Half an hour passed by as Mabel and Dipper checked off their list of preparations for the hunt: Boots were slipped on; fresh batteries were added to their flashlights; bug spray was applied- twice for Dipper; Mabel had slapped on a collection of camouflage stickers to her forehead. The twins descended the stairs, warriors ready for their battlefield in the woods. Their mission: finding the stalking Doppelganger and bringing him to justice. As they reached the bottom and turned into the hallway, they each took a second to give each other a final glance over. They nodded with confidence, and stepped forward.

"Hey guys," Wendy said as they stepped through the gift shop, "what's- whoa," she finally looked past the magazine, and saw the look in their eyes, "uh, who's got the target on their backs?"

"A Dipper-ganger," Mabel growled in a tone that would make an action hero proud.

"Doppelganger- Mabel, c'mon, that's stupid," Dipper told his sister disapprovingly.

"I've heard about those. They pretend to be you while they mess with your life and friends, right?" Wendy asked, and then grinned, "and he's gunning for you, huh Dipper?"

"It- yes," Dipper nodded, "we've seen something sort of lurking around in the shadows stalking us. So, we're going to take the battle to-"

"We're going to VAPORIZE it!" Mabel cheered, holding her strong flashlight above her head with valor.

"They don't like light?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah, so if I pointed it at you," Dipper turned on the flashlight and shone it against Wendy's shoulder, "you would be in pain."

"Oh, the agony!" Wendy held the back of her hand against her forehead, "what then? Just tell it to scamper?"

"If it's nice, yeah," Mabel nodded, "otherwise, we're off to cook some supernatural stalker."

"Hey dudes," Soos stepped in through the front door.

"SCANNING!" Mabel whipped her flashlight around and directed a beam at Soos, who froze in place, his eyes wide. Nothing happened.

"Uh... I swear I didn't know about the additional condiments costing extra," Soos said worryingly, watching Mabel with concern.

"He's fine," Dipper held down his sisters arm as he turned off his own flashlight, "we're going to be looking for a monster that's sensitive to light."

"Outside?" Soos asked with concern, "just so you two know, a storm is really going to start picking up soon."

"What?" Dipper asked as he and Mabel approached the screen door. Just as Soos said, dark clouds were forming on the horizon. It was also getting cooler, a breeze drifted down from the tops of the trees.

"Ohh, that's pretty," Mabel said in awe as she watched the distant clouds rumble and cackle with lightning. She turned her head towards the woods, and gasped. "Now that's what I call spooky. Spook-tastic."

"Huh?" Dipper turned to the direction indicated. Drifting through the woods was a deep blanket of fog, perfectly grey and wispy. Despite the wind growing around them, only the edges of the forest particularly stirred- the fog mostly undisturbed.

"Dip, you know, maybe hunting today isn't turning out to be such a good idea, you know?" Mabel asked, prodding her brother's shoulder.

Dipper considered it too. This was a bad omen, if anything. The fog enough was reason to worry; should something be hiding closer to the ground, they would be almost entirely unaware of it's presence until they were right on top of it. Then there was also the storm to consider, as it billowed miles and miles away, foretelling of a vicious gale to come. Yet Dipper had the feeling, peering into those creepy looking woods, that if he didn't take the chance to move out now, and find that monster, it would be coming for him in the late of the evening.

"Let's do this, Mabes," Dipper said after a quick breath, and sprayed himself one last time with bug spray.

"Blaah! Eugh! Enough, Dip, that stuff is flying everywhere," Mabel coughed as she nearly inhaled half of his spray, "hmm, but it does taste like pennies, so that's not bad."

"You two be safe, okay?" Soos called to them as they stepped out and headed towards the woods.

"Relax, man," Wendy nodded to Soos, "they got it under control. Mystery Twin powers, go!" Wendy shouted after them as the door closed.

Their steps were heralded by the scraping gravel as they approached the forests edge. Thunder rumbled in the distance as they found themselves looking into the woods perfectly at home in any horror movie. The trees acted as ghostly columns, preventing their sightline from going further than fifty feet or so. Simultaneously flicking on their flashlights together, they gave each other one last look full of twin connection and stepped past the edge.

Quickly the sky's light dissipated and they found themselves inside a darker, cooler summer day. The woods, as they had remembered it, felt of thick, still air. The sounds of the storm were dulled and the breeze could do little to reach them. Instead, the sounds of breaking twigs under their feet and distant animals echoed around them. Their flashlight beams scoured around for a target, yet spotted nothing.

"Man, it's creepier than I remember," Dipper admitted to his Sister as they walked further in, the woods growing darker and darker.

"It's just letting us know it hasn't lost any character," Mabel grinned as she peered up with her flashlight, "isn't that right, spooky-vibe woods?"

"I'd rather not hear any communication from the woods at all," Dipper told her. A roar from the distance had them spin in its direction, both flashlights directed ahead. Mabel stepped slightly closer to the sound, peering past the closest trees, but found nothing close. As Dipper looked around, he only then realized he had made an error in their plan. "And I just realized we are only prepared for the encounter against a Doppelganger."

"Dude, bro," Mabel turned to her nervous brother, "don't sweat it. You got yourself a sibling trained in the deadly art of awesomeness, whomp," she informed him, swinging the flashlight in her hand, and accidentally bopping his forehead with the flashlight, to which he flinched and scowled at her, "oops."

"Ow... right. Let's just keep moving," Dipper looked around once more, and they continued. Time slowly lost its meaning as they passed tree after tree, bush after bush, and the occasional rock that looked like a face. The fog grew heavier and taller, and Dipper's nerves grew. Calls of unknown animals and beasts echoed far inside the endless wilderness before them. A clap of thunder, much closer than they had expected, rocked the air. Mabel leapt up and Dipper gasped and whipped around, his eyes darting around. Mabel quickly laughed loudly a moment later.

"Oh, good one, you cheeky thunder, you!" Mabel wiggled a finger at the sky.

"I'm not liking this situation anymore," Dipper admitted as he looked to the sky, where the little he could see was a dark navy and grey.

"You want to chicken out of this?" Mabel snickered as they looked around themselves.

"I'm not saying we should back out," Dipper turned to his sister, "just that... you know, maybe keeping a close proximity to the shack is a good idea."

"You're scared," Mabel teased him quickly. He glared at her.

"I'm not scared," Dipper said in defense.

"Really? 'Cus until there was thunder, you were all ready to," Mabel 'cocked' the flashlight like a shotgun, "cook some doppelganger like it was hunting season for shape-shifting freaks. Now you're all," she wiggled her knees and moaned in fear, only to begin laughing at him.

"Laugh it up. Since you think I'm such a coward then," Dipper coldly said to her as she gained her composure, "why don't you lead?"

"Oh! But I'm sooo scared," Mabel mocked her brother utterly, but turned and started walking away, "let's check out here, scaredy-cat."

"I'm not scared," Dipper told her strongly. Mabel laughed, but said nothing more, using her focus to watch ahead and keep an eye out for figures in the fog.

The fog had entirely risen above them and now was drifting around them in clouds. Their vision was utterly obscured. Mabel was doing her best to look around, and while Dipper had nothing better to contribute or add to their search, he had a distinct lack of progress. Nothing but the creepy feeling of being watched and fog drifting all around them accompanied them as they walked around.

"So," Mabel suddenly asked from ahead, "how's living with mom been?"

"Uh," Dipper got a moment to think as he stepped over a particularly thick log, "she's herself."

"No details?" Mabel prodded for more information as she pushed ahead.

"She's working at a business now; not working at a trading company anymore," Dipper said simply, turning his back on her to check behind them, "so she's been really busy. And you know, being part of clubs keeps me busy." A quick whoosh behind Dipper had him gasp, and he spun.

Mabel was gone.

"Uh," he spun around, "Mabel?" he called, "oh... uh oh," Dipper tried peering through the fog for a hint where she had vanished to, but to no avail. "Mabel!? Mabel, come out, this isn't cool! Mabel!?" he shouted louder and louder as he ran ahead towards several trees, "MABEL!?"

"BWAAAH!" Mabel screamed as she swung upside down from a branch just above Dipper. Dipper nearly had a heart attack and shrieked, falling to the ground below him, gasping for air, and still managing to point his light at her face. "Oh my god! You should have seen your FACE! Hahahahaha!" Mabel roared with laughter as she pointed at her brother on the ground.

"Mabel, what the hell!?" Dipper growled angrily as he stood back up, brushing the forest floor off his pants and arms, "you had me seriously freaking out that something got you!"

"No, bro, that was soooo worth it!" Mabel continued to laugh upside down, her hair dangling beneath her with ease, flowing in her casual rocks back and forth while on the branch.

"You suck," Dipper pushed past her moodily, and she let herself flip right side up and drop down again. She continued to laugh as he moved on ahead.

"Aww, c'mon Dipper," Mabel rolled her eyes as she hurried up to catch him, "I'm just messing with you."

"You can try that when we aren't neck deep in the worst woods to be neck deep in, with a storm coming, and a monster out there that wants to replace me, and terrorize my friends and family," Dipper reminded her heatedly.

"Hey," Mabel tried coming up next to him, "I'm a mood-lightener. Shwoop," she jumped a little ahead of him to speak face to face, "You know I can't take 'too serious to be handled'-" Dipper took several longer steps to move past her, a clear message that her attitude towards the mission so far was doing her no good in favor with her brother, "alrighty... I'm sorry, okay?"

"Let's just find this stupid thing before it gets me, okay?" Dipper said ahead of him.

Minutes drew by slowly. To them, time was working against them; deliberately slowing and causing the frightful hunt to continue. Yet forward, through the indefinitely huge woods before them, they pushed on. With the little foresight she had, Mabel already regretted pushing her brother's buttons. He was tense and irritated as they journeyed ahead, communicating less and less with her. She would occasionally spot a strange flower or mushroom or even small crystal poking just above the dense fog-line, which she knew would normally have gathered his attention and allowed him to simmer down. Yet he remained uptight and direct, scolding her for being easily distracted.

"Ugh," Mabel winced as a cold water droplet hit the exact center of her scalp and ran down her back, "cold tingles. Not all that fun."

"We've been out here forever," Dipper growled as he looked around, "c'mon you stupid perverse living mirror! Show yourself already!" he called around.

"Dipper," Mabel walked up to her brother, "maybe we should head back."

"Oh, now you want to go back," Dipper incredulously said.

"Well, it's starting to rain, isn't it?" she pointed above without looking, as more and more drops of rain fell from the canopy.

"So who's afraid of getting wet?" Dipper turned to his sister, nodding bitterly.

"Okay, yeah, I was a jerk back there," Mabel sighed with exasperation, "okay?" she asked him as he looked at her. His eyes glared into hers, and Mabel shrugged, trying to offer an unspoken peace-treaty. Dipper huffed loudly and turned back, marching ahead. "Seriously, you got to un-tighten those screws, Dip," Mabel added worriedly.

"I'm fine," Dipper informed her. Mabel was not stupid, nor unperceptive. Of course Dipper wasn't fine. She knew that some of the blame for his attitude rested on her, but as he walked away and she followed suit, she could only feel he was taking this 'hurt feelings' act a bit far.

"If you say so," Mabel said, "Just, you know, take it easy." Dipper snorted in response to this. A tiny barrier Mabel held in her mind, reserved for when Dipper was feeling moody, snapped into two, and she lost her will to restrain her opinion. "You don't need to be all snooty," she barely mumbled.

"What?" Dipper spun around, staring at her with piercing eyes, "want to say that aloud?"

"Well, you're being kinda jerk-ish. So, yeah. You're being snooty," Mabel defended herself as the rain poured down from above.

"Yeah?" Dipper asked as he stepped closer to his sister, "sorry if the idea of being replaced by a monster doesn't appeal to me as much as it does you."

"Dipper, I don't like it at all," Mabel cried aloud, "but we're not going to get anything done by standing around in the woods, at each others throats!"

"I wouldn't be so uppity if you could take it seriously for just a few minutes, and not squeeze a laugh out of me every five minutes!" Dipper shouted at her.

"I already said I'm sorry!" she angrily shouted back.

"Well, you-" There was the sound of crumbling earth and a loud ripping noise. Dipper, who had only been staring at his cross-armed sister, hadn't watched where he placed his feet. The last place he had stepped had been by the side of a very steep hill, where the earth was loose from the rain. Mabel had seen, for a split moment, the shock and fear Dipper went through, tripping and collapsing to his left, vanishing into the fog.

"DIPPER!" Mabel shouted, getting closer to the ground. She could hear Dipper grunt and yell as he collapsed further down, but all she could make out was his flashlight, which shone its bright light down with him.

"MABEL!" she heard once more, and then the light as well vanished. Mabel could almost feel him vanish from the face of the earth, like the fog had swallowed him up entirely.

"Oh- no, DIPPER!" she bellowed below, her hands by the side of the soaked loose earth by the hill.

She knew exactly what she was going to do. Her brother was without a flashlight, and was separated from her. If that monster was going to show itself, it was going to be now, while he was defenseless, or never. With a single sigh, she relaxed her body, smiled at ease, and then leapt up and flew down the side of the muddy cliff-face.

Her feet slid and she hopped over rock and clay as she descended, the now pouring rain doing little to disperse the fog below her.

"Dipper!" she called as she grasped a limb of a tree she passed. Holding onto the tree, she scanned around, still unable to make a single solid possible suggestion as to where he had gone. She let herself drop lower, landing on the soft ground of the soaked forest floor. Quickly wiping her brow of the mud and rain, she scanned around further. "Dipper!"

She was on flat ground now. With the steep hill behind her, Mabel quickly found the broken flashlight. Its fragmented pieces were strewn about, reflecting the light of her own working flashlight. Yet there was no sign of Dipper anywhere.

"What... Dip!?" she called around, "Dipper! Are you hurt?" she called to the dark woods. "Dipper! Talk to me!" A snap of branches behind her had her whirl around, her flash light on the source- Dipper was leaning against a boulder, his arm tucked under his vest. "Dip!"

"Mabel," Dipper said, holding his other hand to his face, trying to block out the light, "hey, tone that down, would ya?"

Mabel stalled instantly. With conviction, she stayed her ground, and kept the light on him. He breathed heavily, watching her with confusion until he nodded with a sigh.

"Okay, if you think if I'm a Doppelganger, I'd be scorching now, right?" Dipper told Mabel. She sighed with a nod and approached comfortably. "I think we should go back now," Dipper admitted.

"Here, give me your arm," she asked him as she came to his side, "we have to climb that hill."

"Ugh... might as well," Dipper said with a grim smirk, and they turned towards the hill, and started the steep incline. "Hey," Dipper looked to his sister, "sorry about earlier."

"Oh," she looked to him, surprised with his tone, "hey, it's nothing. I was being a butt-face, too."

"Yeah, I- ack!" Dipper spat away from them, as a swarm of bugs rushed into his face, "dang gnats!"

"Ha! Looks like they like you," Mabel snickered as Dipper was left to shake his head around, desperate to shoo away the flies.

Several hundred feet away, Dipper Pines stirred.

He opened his eyes slowly, and started blinking out the rain water that covered his face. Along with the sticks and leaves that had stuck to him in his long tumble down the side of the hill, he could feel mud sticking to his clothes and his face. He looked around, and gasped as he stood. His gut hurt and it was hard to breath. Standing up, he could barely manage, "Mabel?" with a trembling whisper.

The fog had closed in around him, and there was little to no light left. Looking to his feet, he couldn't find his flashlight. With a quaking and fearful realization, he knew he was totally defenseless. He was hurt, though not horribly, and without the one great weakness the monster he hunted had.

Something darted behind him, in the fog. He turned, desperate to spot it and could only see the path it had taken through the fog. Light sounds of pitter-patter of movement circled him, hiding just out of sight.

"Hello? Who's there?" Dipper managed to cry out in his heavy breathing, still trying to normalize his standing. To his surprise, there was a gasp just out of sight. "Hello?" Dipper asked, "if you think you're going to replace me, then you have-"

There was a loud squeal as a small dark figure pelted out from behind a tree, and lunged at Dipper. Out of shock, he tripped and fell backwards, and found himself facing a well-built spear, directly at his nose. Following its length to the owner, he found a small person with beady red glowing eyes staring at him.

"Have you given up, shifter?" the creature holding the spear asked Dipper with a creaky and tense voice.

"Sh-shifter?" Dipper asked in a gasp for air.

"Do not toy with me, beast," The small creature said, stepping closer.

"You... what are you?" Dipper asked.

The creature finally could be seen by Dipper. It was a short, yet skinny man with thin, knobby arms and legs with dark brown skin. It wore an expensive set of gear, suited for a hunter or pioneer of dense jungles of the nineteenth century. He had a long-pointed nose and a scrutinizing look about him as he looked over Dipper.

"Why... why haven't you shifted yet," the creature asked aloud, nearly poking Dipper in the cheek with his weapon.

"Because I can't shape-shift," Dipper told him, "I'm a human!" The creature gasped, and stepped back, the spearing raising up to point above.

"My word... then you're the one boy we have reports on!" the creature said, reaching inside one of his varying pockets in his vest. He withdrew a small yellow crystal, and with a flick of his finger, it grew a light from its core until it was bright enough to illuminate both Dipper and the himself, "you are much taller than our reports implied."

"Uh... thanks," Dipper said, getting to his feet, "I... what- err, who are you?"

"Ah, my name is Sibs. I am a sentinel for the eighth Goblin watchmen crew," the goblin named Sibs lifted a hand to Dipper. Dipper reached down and took it, using only three fingers to over-wrap the goblins entire hand. The goblin, he realized, only came up to his hips, taller than the gnomes he had encountered before.

"You're... a goblin?" Dipper asked aloud.

"That's right, my boy," Sibs the Goblin sentinel nodded, "and a damn good patrolman at that. But where are my manners... follow me, I can lead you to my home. I can't say we have any accommodations for your size, but we can get you out of the rain for now."

"So, you're a sentinel? For Goblins?" Dipper asked as he began to follow the goblin Sibs.

"Quite. I'm not sure who else I would be patrolling our forests for, dear boy," the Goblin gave Dipper a quick cheeky look as he moved ahead, "now tell me, what on earth brings a human into these dangerous woods- ah," The Goblin interrupted himself, "perhaps you best save those answers for our governor."

"You have a governor?" Dipper asked as he ducked under a low-hanging branch.

"Oh yes. We aren't barbaric, after all," Sibs told him, "now, step here," Sibs pointed with his spear to a certain rock on the ground with an odd symbol painted on it, "and here," he pointed to another, and Dipper realized there were many Symbols all around him on various exposed rocks. As Dipper stepped on the last rock, his senses tingled with energy. It felt as if he had just passed through a weak electrical field. His ears buzzed and his skin tickled as he stepped off the rocks. Dipper looked back once behind him, and was certain he saw a wall of gentle shimmering light. "And here we are," Sibs stated clearly for Dipper to hear, "Goblitropolis."

"Whoa," Dipper managed with a small sigh.

A sprawling collection of homes and buildings about half the size needed to accommodate humans panned out before Dipper. Rock tiled roads lead many goblins through the maze of a city that was Goblitropolis. The windows in the homes and buildings that were built into boulders and trees all glowed of different colors, and as Dipper stepped closer, he could see the same kind of crystals used by Sibs present in the rooms.

"My word!" A Goblin cried ahead, spotting Dipper and Sibs approaching, "A human!"

The outcry attracted the attention of many Goblins, who paused and turned to stare at Dipper. Many of them had the look of fear in their eyes, but others gasped in awe. Dipper was immensely surprised with their appearances- they were dressed with surprisingly human outfits he could have sworn came from the Victorian age. Many goblins wore top hats, and the lady-goblins wore large elaborate dresses and sported ruffled umbrellas.

"A human!" more Goblins cried aloud, and as Sibs and Dipper approached, a crowd gathered excitedly to greet them.

"Welcome to Goblitropolis!" one cried, "Sentinel Sibs, how was the search?"

"I will report, but I must bring this young man to the Governor," Sibs said aloud to his comrades, "his being here is tied to the beast of late."

The Goblins, at the mention of the 'beast', murmured and parted for Sibs and Dipper. As the two followed through and walked down the street, the group followed them, talking animatedly about the arrival of a human. It was clearly the new topic of gossip, for the crowd would mention to one another their interest in taller humans, despite their limited interaction with them. Sibs gently pushed past them, beckoning Dipper to follow.

"Are you really just a boy?" one goblin, looking younger than Sibs, asked from the sidewalk of the street, "you are much too tall to be a boy!"

"I'm a teenager," Dipper explained briefly.

"What on earth is a teenager?" the goblin asked back.

"I have heard of it," a gentleman Goblin walking past him had also stopped, and was eager to answer, "It is a stage in a human's life where they become rebellious and eager to compete. He is a rebel of their society."

"A rebel! How romantic!" A goblin lady swooned as she stared at Dipper. He quickly looked away from the three and followed Sibs. Dipper was uncertain on how to feel towards being romanticized by Goblin women.

Sibs took a turn on the street, and the two found themselves looking at the face of a large boulder, well carved out and decorated like a marble town hall. Columns and balconies were carefully placed around, with bright crystal light shining out from inside.

"What is the meaning of this Sibs?" A guard at the front door of the building called to Sibs, "you've brought yourself a large friend. I suppose he's friendly, then?"

"Of course! This is the human that Strooder and his hunters have been watching," Sibs announced aloud, and Dipper looked in shock to the Goblin, but Sibs continued. "We must speak with Gig!" The guardsman looked between Dipper and Sibs, and nodded, turning and entering the building hastily.

"You've been watching me?" Dipper asked Sibs.

"Not me, dear boy, Strooder. He's a talented hunter, who's taken the task of slaying a horrific beast that has plagued our lands," Sibs explained, "there was a reason I could not trust you at first sight."

"Then... that's who was watching me from the forest edge, in the bushes," Dipper came to conclusion, thinking around, "this... Strooder guy?"

"Most adept of you, young man," Sibs told him. The doors opened again, and out walked a taller, lavish goblin who wore a large monocle and very tall top hat. He gasped as he stared at Dipper, and then smiled warmly.

"On behalf of Goblitropolis, I bid you welcome!" he extended his arms up to Dipper, who took his hand in a shake. At this, the crowd around them cheered, catching Dipper by surprise. "Aah, very good," the Goblin before Dipper continued, "I was hoping you would be well mannered, considering your size. My name is Gib."

"You're the Governor?" Dipper asked with a tiny grin.

"That I am, my lad," Gib the Goblin Governor said cheerily, "now, who might you be?"

"My name is Dipper Pines," Dipper said around.

"You are quiet well mannered for a human," Gib said with a great smile, "it is welcome to find a tall one who does not attempt to drop and kick us across large distances."

"Uh... back at you," Dipper said with curt nod, "I thought goblins are sort of violent and... mean?"

"It all depends on the leader," Gib explained easily, "you have someone sensible and kind, we all will be. We quiet enjoy the peaceful lifestyle here, in Goblitropolis, don't we all? Unless Gnomes are involved. Nasty little insects."

The mood of the goblins instantly flipped. They had been excitable and happy, but at the mention of Gnomes, many hissed and snarled angrily, portraying the image that Dipper had come to associate Goblins with.

"But," Gib, the Goblin Governer continued after a pause to re-adjust himself to a polite persona, "my boy, what brings you here?" Gib asked earnestly.

"I'm in these woods looking for a Doppelganger," Dipper stated aloud. The crowd around them murmured at the mention of a Doppelganger, and Dipper continued. "My sister and I think it was going to try replacing me, so we were going to take the fight to it."

"Remarkably brave," Gibs nodded his head with commandment, "but you mentioned your sister- where is she now?"

"We got into an... uh, we got separated," Dipper added sadly, feeling his cheeks heat slightly and his throat tighten in shame. It had been stupid of him to get so upset at his sister for being herself. Of course she would have played a prank or two on him when he was trying to be too serious.

"Well," Sibs stepped forward, addressing Dipper still, "I can't say anything about a Doppelganger in these woods," he told Dipper, who blinked and leant in closer, "but a monster of many forms does lurk in these woods."

"Wait... no Doppelganger?" Dipper asked around, and the many Goblins shook their heads, while some spoke to one another darkly.

"We have not encountered a Doppelganger in many years," Gib said with authority.

"Then... what was running around while looking like me?" Dipper needed to know. Gibs gave the boy a serious and studying stare. After a moment, he nodded, and stepped down from the doors, approaching Dipper.

"We are at war, my boy," the Goblin Governor said grimly, "for nearly two years we have been fighting a deathly game of cat and mouse with a creature that feasts on flesh and enjoys the suffering of those smaller than it. We know not where it came from, but it surely is a beast of nightmares: for it takes no permanent shape."

"Did you say it doesn't keep a single shape?" Dipper asked, a familiar twinge of cold fear running down his spine. "Does it ever take the form of a large roly-poly bug? Like a beetle that curls up? No?" he asked when the group shrugged. "What about an older man? Jacket and gray moustache?" Dipper continued. The goblins gasped and looked around, their reaction giving him all the indication he needed to put one and two together. "It's him," Dipper whispered to himself, an icy feeling racing through his nerves.

"You... know this devil, my boy? This creature," Gibs stated around, "has been warring with us! Devouring our men, women, and Children! It destroys our homes, our families!" Gob shouted angrily. Dipper felt weak in the knees. He had encountered this creature once in his life, and it was only because they left it frozen in a tube deep underground that he had entirely discounted it from possible suspects. But if it had somehow escaped, it was bad news for the world. It could impersonate people almost perfectly, let alone shape itself into whatever form it wanted, making it a deadly creature.

"Strooder and the Hunters return!" a goblin cried, and the goblins faced the street leading to the Town Hall. A physically well-built Goblin with goggles, followed by several other goblins of similar form, all wearing nearly the same gear Sibs did, approached. Strooder looked up and found Dipper's face.

"It is as we feared," Strooder said in a quiet yet rumbling voice fit for a mysterious hunter as he looked at Dipper.

"Don't worry, my friend," Sibs approached Strooder, "this one is a human. He means us no harm."

"That is not the problem at hand, Sibs," Strooder walked past his friend and to the Governor, "the beast was last seen by the western hill. We were tacking it when a human girl appeared. She left in the company of this boy here," Strooder wove his hand above him towards Dipper, "and has left our lands since."

"She left with someone who looked like me!?" Dipper demanded loudly, stunning the Goblins momentarily, "where!? Where did they go!?"

"Towards the human building in the woods," Strooder said quickly. Dipper made to turn, but Sibs held his hand back.

"You don't mean to face that creature on your own?" the Goblin worriedly asked.

"It doesn't matter what he is; my sister's life is in danger! If any of you knew your family was nearby to that monster, wouldn't you run to help!?" Dipper asked around to them. Goblins around him nodded and agreed.

"Get the charm of permanence!" Gib called to the guardsman behind him. "My boy, if you mean to face him, we won't allow you to go alone."

"You... you're coming?" Dipper asked incredulously. The Major nodded, and the Guardsman returned, holding up a large metal collar of bronze metal and green jewels laden into its side. "You know, you guys are a lot cooler than I expected you all to be."

"Goblin society has changed much since our last interactions with humans. We even got our fashion tips from a human in this region," the mayor stated with a grin as he lifted his top hat, "quite works for our figure, doesn't it?"

"Take this," Strooder the Hunter took the collar, and handed it to Dipper, "if you can place this on the beast's form, it will force it to remain in that form."

"You mean we can trap it into one body forever?" Dipper asked in awe.

"Goblin magic and engineering will ensure that," Gib firmly said, and spoke to the crowd, "now, I need volunteers! We will be going to this beast with the help of our friend here and bring our tormentor to justice!"

"I can't wait around!" Dipper called, and literally leapt over the crowd of Goblins, "I need to help my sister!"

"Hold the beast off long as you can! We will arrive post-haste!" Sibs called as Dipper ran through the streets, carefully avoiding running over Goblins in his haste. Quickly he found the magical barrier that hid the city of Goblitropolis from the rest of the forest, passed through it and found rain in his eyes again.

"Mabel, please be safe!"

* * *

"We're almost out of the woods," Mabel said cheerfully as she watched ahead, and saw the forests edge.

"About time. Man, I can't be more ready to go inside, warm up, dry off, and read some of that journal," Dipper said to her happily.

"What, you're giving on the whole Doppelganger thing already?" Mabel asked in surprise, "and here I was thinking we would lay some traps just in case he showed up."

"I love the idea," Dipper said with a grin, "anyone trying to replace me has another thing coming."

"Oh yeah," Mabel agreed with a curt nod, "put up enough flashlights, then a tripwire is activated- SHAZAM! He's ashes in no time!"

"Maybe a bear trap as well," Dipper considered.

"But... it said a Doppelganger only is effected by strong sources of light," Mabel reminded him, "man, I think you hit your head harder than you think."

"Oh, yeah, probably," Dipper shrugged and rolled his eyes, "actually, I think I can walk on my own. Thanks Mabel," Dipper told her and he walked slightly faster.

"Ha," Mabel snickered as he walked past, a trail of bugs following him, "they're still onto you, huh?"

"Darn bugs!" Dipper cried, waving his arms above his head, his hair dancing around as he tried tossing off the tiny insects.

As she watched this, something put her on edge. She only just realized that bugs were attacking him. Not just buzzing around him, they were landing on him, taking a moment off of their wings, and then buzzing off again. Something that they would not ever want to do, considering the amount of bug spray he had applied onto himself.

Mabel took several strides closer to Dipper, leaned closer, and sniffed him. She pulled back, her eyes wide in shock. The distinctive smell of pennies had entirely vanished from Dipper. She then looked to her shoulder, and sniffed herself. It wasn't as strong as she thought it would be, but the scent of that bug spray was still present, even on her.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked her, giving her a concerned look as she seemed to be staring into horror itself.

"I- WE- uh," Mabel brought herself to a stable set in mind, now truly worried she had made a huge mistake, "we need to take a shower. Smell really bad, you know?"

"That's what happens when you go sliding down a muddy hill," Dipper shrugged and continued on.

It was no longer just the smell. Mabel watched her brother walk ahead, and the frightening idea came to her head that he was not her brother at all. He was acting too pleasant. Not miserable, angry, or upset; but apologetic and accepting. She would have loved to think he was just being nice, but she was cold and wet. That meant he would be too. He should be tired and slow and grouchy, not this upbeat.

"Hey, uh," Mabel said aloud as she caught up with him, "do you remember what Grunkle Stan wanted us to do earlier? Like, I'm just sort of freaking out that we're going to get back and all we're going to hear from him is how we didn't finish our work."

"What, the roof tiles?" Dipper asked with a smile, "nah, me and Soos finished that up real nice."

"Oh, right," Mabel nodded, displeased with the answer, although it was correct. "So," she considered something else that she could quickly throw at him to test his legitimacy, "what do you think about my training?"

"It's pretty cool, actually, Mabel," Dipper said easily, "you know, maybe you should show me some of that stuff later. I wouldn't mind knowing a thing or two about how to keep my butt from hitting the ground."

"Okay," Mabel stepped ahead of Dipper, staring at him intently, "Dipper, you are freaking me out, okay? You've been waaay too happy, and waaay too cool while we're soaking wet and tired."

Dipper stepped back, staring at his sister with uncertainty. He looked back and forth, his head shaking slightly.

"What, you want me to apologize for being nice to you?" he asked her angrily.

"I want to know... who's the girl you had a crush on while we were here before?" Mabel tested her supposed brother. He sighed and stared at her.

"Wendy. Mabel, if I didn't know you so well, I'd say you were the one acting weird," Dipper told her, and grumbled, "let's just get inside, okay?"

"I... okay, sorry," Mabel let her brother walk past, and she watched him go. He had certainly gotten the answers all correct, yet she couldn't shake the feeling she had already decided this wasn't her Dipper. She could smell mud and sweat, but not copious amounts of bug spray. He knew all those answers she asked him, yet could account for each instance seeing a Dipper-shaped person running around at those times. She wondered if she needed to test him once more. "So, you were talking about mom earlier?" she asked quietly. Dipper sighed and turned to face her, anger darting in his eyes.

"Drop it!" he said, "I don't know why you're so suspicious of me because I thought it would be a good idea to be nice for once, but it's getting on my nerves!" Dipper turned and stormed ahead of her.

They finally left the forest edge, and the two trudged quietly through the rain, already soaked, even as thunder rumbled above them. Watching her brother slightly lead, Mabel's mind oozed of guilt. Not necessarily for upsetting her brother- but that even after proving himself accountable each time she tested him, she still felt like he wasn't the real one.

"We're back," Dipper called as he stepped through the door.

"Sup," Wendy said from behind a magazine she held up.

"Hey Wendy," Mabel sighed gloomily as she stepped inside.

"So, no luck with the-" Wendy dropped her magazine, and the instant she had let her eyes fall onto Dipper, she froze. The twins stared at her and she stared back, her eyes wide as they soaked in Dipper's image.

"Uh... Wendy?" Dipper asked after an awkward moment.

"Huh?" Wendy blinked, and stood up quickly, staring at Dipper, "Yeah?"

"You're... staring at me," Dipper told her.

"Right. Yeah. Uh, hey, uh..." Wendy shimmied her way from behind the counter to stand before them, her eyes still locked onto Dipper.

"Wendy?" Mabel finally piqued in, and Wendy blinked, and looked to her. It was after Wendy gave Mabel a hard look that a light passed through the Redheads eyes, and she turned back to Dipper, her face more at ease.

"Hey, you guys know there's no mud allowed in here. Boots go outside," Wendy told them with authority. Mabel raised her eyebrows and was about to ask what was going on. Then something even more shocking brought her pause.

"Oh, right!" Dipper laughed, patting the front of his forehead gently, "duh! Sorry, Wendy," Dipper said pleasantly, and turned to head back outside. Mabel turned and watched her brother take a few steps away, and her eyes grew wide.

"We don't have a rule like that," Mabel told her brother with conviction, "Grunkle Stan doesn't care what comes into the building if there aren't tourists in the building." Dipper stopped. She couldn't see his face, but she was certain she saw the smallest twitch in his shoulder. He turned around, an embarrassed smile plastered onto his face.

"Right, what was I thinking-"

"Mabel, walk away from him, now," Wendy said with strong, deadly serious tones.

"What?" Dipper asked, his smile faltering as Wendy slowly reached over the counter, staring at Dipper with a focus that could have ripped a hole through his body. "Mabel, come on. You already tested me and... oh damn," Dipper sighed, looking at Wendy as his smile fell away, "I'm surprised you caught me so easily. What's the secret?"

"Get back!" Wendy shouted, and swung once at the person who looked like Dipper, but he ducked under her attack. She made to swing at Dipper again, but he clutched the baseball bat and yanked it past him and it flew aside. He ran forward, smashing into Wendy, tossing her off her feet. While she was fast to get back on them, Dipper was surprisingly fast as well. He made to kick at Wendy while she was standing back up.

"I don't like these kind of secrets!" the false Dipper cried aloud, and swung and missed with a rising kick. Wendy had dodged, and charged against Dipper, slamming into his torso. She ran him into the wall with a loud crash. "Nice hit there, Wendy girl," Dipper said, and his face melded and became Wendy's own face, "but you don't hit hard enough. Maybe this will have you remember to hit harder?"

Wendy was stunned enough for the Wendy-faced Dipper to give her a strong punch in the gut, tossing her to the ground, and then stomping her back. Wendy cried aloud as she had the wind knocked out of her.

"Leave her alone!" Mabel shouted, and threw the baseball perfectly at the faux Dipper. It slammed into his head, and he shouted aloud and cringed, walking away while cradling his head.

"You damn kids," the Shapeshifter groaned, changing the entire body into that of the old man from the Baron Num Num's canned beans. Grey hair and moustache grew along with the taller, slimmer body with worn jacket and goggles on his forehead. "You're just as painful as I remember."

"Didn't we freeze him?" Wendy coughed as she stood, stepping back to be with Mabel.

"Oh, yes you did," the Shapeshifter growled angrily, "for nearly a year I remained frozen, aware of every second that passed, unable to move an inch... then, one day," the Shifter stepped forward, "a strange energy surge broke the stasis tube. I was free again, and took to the surface in a matter of days. Forests are wonderful little buffets, you know?"

"An energy surge?" Mabel asked.

"It doesn't really matter what it was," the shifter chuckled, looming over them, "now that I'm out, I can live as I want to, a life without rules or restraint from you single formed cretins. And that starts as soon as I get some payback for locking me up."

"Where is Dipper?" Mabel demanded of the monster before them. The Shapeshifter grinned after a moment.

"Who knows?"

"Hey dudes," Soos appeared from the hallway, "there's a- oh... sorry, I wasn't aware we had a customer. Uh... have we met before?" Soos asked, looking at the Shapeshifter.

"Oh, of course," The Shifter smiled, and morphed his face to match Soos's, "remember me, chubby?"

"IT'S HIM!" Soos bellowed as he instantly remembered their last encounter.

Wendy took the opening. While the monster looked at Soos, she lunged forward, and made to kick at his head. The Shapeshifter turned quickly, and in a powerful sweep, caught her leg tightly and spun with her in his grip.

"WENDY!" Soos and Mabel shouted. Wendy was slammed into shelf after shelf as she was whipped around, her head and face getting the blunt of the attack. After a quick whirl around, he launched her forward, and Wendy flew through the air and crashed through a window, landing roughly outside.

"One down," the Shapeshifter grinned, "three to go," he turned to Soos, who was instantly uncertain as to what to do.

"What the heck is going on out here!?" Grunkle Stan's voice carried from the living room.

"Hey!" Mabel cried, catching the Shifter's attention, "you want someone to pick on? Try me for size!" The shifter looked at her, and grinned excitedly.

"Alright, missy. I think I will," the Shifter approached Mabel steadily, and she retreated. She knew exactly what she wanted from this- a chance to remove the monster from inside the shack. She pushed the door open behind her and darted out quickly as the Shifter followed her. The last thing she heard from inside was the hurried footsteps of Stan's approach.

"HOLY CRUD!" Stan's voice cried from inside. "WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE!?"

"Soos, find Wendy!" Mabel shouted to the Shack.

"I'll find backup!" Soos shouted as he ran for the backdoor.

"So... it was you I kept seeing around here, impersonating Dipper?" Mabel asked.

"His younger form, yes," The Shapeshifter established excitedly, "one smaller in size and less likely to draw attention from anyone, excepting you," he added while moving closer, "I could hide very well, you know. After this, I won't ever need to hide again," the Shifter said to her as she retreated to the parking lot, rain splashing against her, "not from you, your brother, or your family."

"You might want to reconsider that, you big jerk," Mabel said, and halted her retreat, letting the Shapeshifter advance.

"Well, aren't you just an arrogant little girl?" the man leered as he entered striking range, and he swooped down at her. She darted to the side, and delivered a strong kick to the side of his head. Her shoe slammed into his ear, and he cried out in pain, stepping to the side, cradling his injured head.

"Arrogant that!" Mabel told him with a strong grin.

The Shapeshifter roared and charged at her. He punched and swung at her, and she avoided his attacks, her small size making her a harder target, and her agility allowing her to maneuver around his swings.. After he got his chances to strike at her, she retaliated. After one particularly forceful swing the Shifter missed, she ducked under him to a crouch, and leapt up, delivering a massive kick under his chin and to his neck.

He gasped and cringed as he lifted himself back, holding his neck tightly. Mabel made sure to maximize her well placed hits to her favor. Darting around him, she struck at weaker areas of his body, disabling them in a fury of swipes and jabs. Each hit she delivered staggered him slightly, and he eventually fell to his knees. Mabel took one big step back, and landed a strong descending punch against his head.

The Shapeshifter fell to the ground, shaking and groaning in pain, massaging his jaw. Mabel stood, breathing heavily above him as she watched his movement. That had been the first time she had ever fought anyone outside of sparring, and she could only grin in accomplishment.

"Ohhhh, Mabel in the HOUSE!" Mabel cheered as she rocketed her hands above her, glaring down her opponent, "that's right, sucker! Can't top the Mabes, not one second- ow ow ow!" she added, shaking her knuckles as she had punched a hand into her palm, forcing her nerves to remember the pain of punching any kind of bone.

"Maybe not," The Shapeshifter growled, staring at her hatefully, "can you stop yourself?"

Mabel gulped, already aware of his insinuations. One moment, she saw a sprawled and defeated older man; a second later, she was looking down at a mud-covered version of herself. The false-Mabel grinned and stood up, stretching her neck and arms as she recovered from her injuries.

"You have a lot of talent, don't you?" Faux-Mabel asked the real Mabel, unnerved at hearing the mean intentions flowing from her stolen voice, "I can feel it; your body has retained lots of muscle memory. I've learned so much just from copying your body!"

"I'm the real deal," Mabel announced strongly.

"We'll see about that," Faux-Mabel taunted her, and leapt forward.

The two engaged in the fight once again. The two Mabels, avoiding, attacking, blocking and parrying each other endlessly, were evenly matched. Lightning crashed overhead as two equals battled each other, unable to gain an upper hand.

The real Mabel was already exhausted. The day had worn on her, and without the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she would have fallen to the ground, panting for breath. Yet she stayed up, forcing herself to act and counter against the imposter version of herself. She was slowing down though, having to retreat more and more from the fight, stepping down or away from an attack rather than using it as an opportunity to advance.

"Humans, and their limited stamina," Faux-Mabel grinned as the real Mabel stepped back, catching her breath, "you thought this plan would work in your favor!?"

"I honestly don't do all that much thinking," Mabel shrugged off the taunt, "especially when my friends are concerned."

"Oh, and your brother?" Faux-Mabel asked quickly, sarcasm dripping in her voice, "you certainly are so willing to sacrifice for him, aren't you?"

"... what do you mea-"

In the moment Mabel had allowed herself distraction and self-doubt, the Faux-Mabel jumped forward and kicked her in the chest, throwing her backwards. Mabel gasped and tried to stand as her impersonation stepped closer.

"Silly thing, aren't you?" Faux-Mabel said as she approached. "Just the mention of your brother, the same you so casually tease and bother, and your focus comes all crashing down."

"You're a huge poop-faced jerk," Mabel said as she stood back up, ready to face her evil reflection.

The sound of running had both Mabels turn. Dipper appeared, his eyes wide as he came to a sliding halt. He scanned both of them, and sighed.

"Oh, not this again," he groaned.

"Dipper!" Faux-Mabel said as she stepped closer, still distant, "stay away from her!"

"What!?" Mabel turned and stared at the fake Mabel, "you don't tell my brother what to do!"

"Stop her! Grab a stick!" the fake Mabel cried as the real Mabel stepped in and attacked her again. "Quickly! Bro! Do something!"

Dipper looked around quickly, and found a large sopping wet branch. Lifting it up, he turned and found himself stunned. Mabel had clearly under-sold herself when they had talked earlier about her studying martial arts. Both Mabels were fast and agile, moving around the other effortlessly while countering and striking one another.

"Déjà-vu nightmare... not what I need right now!" Dipper shouted at the two of them, and they broke apart, breathing heavily.

"Oh, now you need a breath!?" one of the Mabels cried, "what happened to 'pathetic human stamina', huh?"

"What!? I didn't say that, you did!" the other Mabel growled.

"I... Uh," Dipper stumbled as he watched the two of them. One was able to face him as they circled each other, keeping their distance. She looked from the Mabel opposing her to Dipper, and mouthed, 'you can do it'. Dipper started stepping closer, trying to keep himself against the back of the opposite one, but they darted to one another, and Dipper was facing the second Mabel. She looked to him, and watched her. She appeared to be trying to think as to what to do. A moment of uncertainty passed as Dipper watched the second Mabel stare at him.

"POOF!" she cried, and reached inside her pockets, and out from her hands flew sparkles and soggy noodles.

"What on earth?" the other Mabel couldn't help but be stunned, staring at the posed girl before her.

"No contest," Dipper stated excitedly, and rushed forward. Dipper then landed behind the closest Mabel, spun her around, and slapped the enchanted goblin collar around her neck.

"Wait, what are- WHAT!?" the one Mabel roared as she clutched the collar, its jewels now glowing brightly. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" The Faux-Mabel made no hesitation as she punched Dipper straight across the face, throwing him up into the air, and glared down to the bronze looking collar.

"Dipper!" the real Mabel screamed and ran over, tackling the other Mabel away from her brother, and they rolled onto the ground, gravel scraping their arms. The Faux-Mabel stood quickly, and roared. She stood there, panting, and then the collar glowed white hot, and the Shapeshifter howled in pain.

"WHAT IS THIS!?" the Shapeshifter screamed as she clutched at the collar around her neck. "I-I CANNOT-"

"A gift from the Goblins," Dipper coughed as he stood, "for all the hard times you brought them."

"My form!" the Shapeshifter gasped, and squeezed her eyes shut, only for the jewels to glow hot again, and it screamed loudly, "it's been solidified! how dare you! HOW DARE YOU!? I'm going to show you both pain! Great, unending pain!" the Shapeshifter growled as it approached, fury pouring from its eyes. Dipper and Mabel stood together, ready for the fight.

"Not so fast, loser," a voice called from the forest behind the Shifter. It spun as the twins peered past it.

"Wendy!" Mabel cried," you're okay!"

"Enough about me," Wendy said, stepping out of the forest with Soos.

"Our friends want a word with you, pal," Soos said, hooking a thumb behind him.

Angry glowing red eyes peered hungrily at the nearly helpless Shapeshifter. From behind the two teenagers, a massive army of Goblins stepped out. Many of them were armed with bows, arrows, swords, shields, and some had tiny flint-lock muskets. The Goblins all cheered and jeered at the monster, swinging down from trees and charging from the bushes.

The Shapeshifter turned, and found Mabel and Dipper, ready for action. It spun once again, spying the encroaching army of Soos, Wendy, and hundreds of Goblins. In a desperate bid, it turned and ran for the Shack. An air-shaking boom toppled the Shifter off its feet and away from the building. A large hole in the ground was before the shack as Stan stepped out, a shotgun with a smoking end in hand.

"No freaks allowed inside without proper authority," Grunkle Stan informed him with a cocking of his shotgun, "and that means me. And I say NO!"

"No... no!" the Shapeshifter started to get back to its feet just in time for the army of Goblins to swarm. The Shapeshifter, removed of its ability to change form, shrieked and yelled in pain as it was bound up in many ropes and pulleys. Once it had been bound, fifteen goblins approached, and lifted the Shapeshifter into the air, and carried it back into the woods, snarling angrily. "Damn you all! DAMN YOU!"

"Man, I don't look that great when I'm a fuming monster, do I?" Mabel asked as she watched herself get pulled into the woods.

"That's okay. You look fine most of the time, anyway," Dipper patted her shoulder. A cluster of goblins ran past the two, also hissing and gnashing at the air. "I don't know about them enjoying their peaceful ways, anymore."

"But they looked so dapper with their little suits!" Mabel told Dipper excitedly.

"Oh, great and wise Soos," Gib, the Goblin Governor approached Soos, one of his knees bent, "long has it been since we last spoke. Have you come to a decision of our proposal?"

"No way man," Soos said happily as the Goblin army retreated into the woods, "you guys should totally continue ruling yourselves. You all seem a lot happier with elections and political candidates than a single sovereign leader. But totally keep that fashion- it works wonders for you all. Hey, but before you go, what's the plan with the shifter?"

"We will put it on trial, which will more than likely lead to an execution, and then a grand feast," Gib told him.

"Oh wow. What's the dinner plan?" Soos asked with a chuckle.

"The Shifter," Gib told him plainly. Soos nodded in contemplation to their plans.

"Not going to tell you guys that it sounds gross, but I'm just going to let you all enjoy your victory party," Soos nodded to the tiny ruler.

"Very well, great Soos," Gib stood and bowed once to the tall man before him, "but know there will always be a warm welcome to you, and your friends. This has been a triumphant day for us all. Now, I'm off to let the Gnomes know we're the ones who defeated the Shapeshifter. We'll be bragging about this for years." With that, Gibs turned, and hurried off.

"Wow," Wendy said as Mabel, Dipper, and Grunkle Stan walked up to watch the Goblins fade into the distance," they totally respect you, Soos. What's up with that?"

"Oh, I met them once when my car broke down a few years back. They had this jerky tall ruler guy with frizzy hair and skinny pants, and I told them that society had come a long way since mean kings and dictators. They revolted, and now live in a democratic society."

"Goblins, living democratically," Stan said, shaking his head, "now I've seen everything."

"And they wear tuxedos with top-hats," Dipper told Grunkle Stan, who rolled his eyes and turned back towards the shack.

"I'll be drying off and watching Broker-Nova, in case anyone needs me to shoot something else," Grunkle Stan called as he retreated.

"Wendy, are you okay?" Mabel approached the redhead, who nodded.

"Looks like I'm made out of as tough stuff as my dad is, cus I'm good." she grinned, padding her arms with her hands strongly.

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked, "what happened to you?"

"I was tossed around like a rag-doll and thrown out a window," Wendy said calmly, "which looking back, actually was kinda cool, if I didn't think the entire time I was about to die."

"Dang," Dipper said, giving the red head a final look-over in astonishment, "Wow, no kidding about the made of steel thing. Well, I'm cold, tired, and exhausted. Inside time, please," Dipper told the other as he turned for the Shack.

"Wait!" Mabel cried, and leapt at her brother, giving him a sloppy wet hug in the rain. "I'm so glad you're back!"

"I- okay, okay," Dipper said, pushing his sister off with a half-smile, "can we get inside though? We're going to catch some nasty cold if we stay out here."

"All in favor of inside time?" Mabel asked aloud.

"Aye," the other three cried aloud.

"All opposed?" Dipper asked. A loud thunderclap from above had them scurry inside without delay.

Soos was tasked with repairing the window as the twins were told to clean up the mess the fight against the Shapeshifter. Soos, with little help from Wendy who felt bad letting him clean up a mess partially her fault, was able to quickly replace the shattered window and clean up the glass in no time, and the twins had managed to pick up everything salvageable from the shop. By the time the four had concluded their business, Wendy and Soos had to depart for their homes.

"Man, she really took a beating," Dipper told his sister as they trudged up the stairs together, "that one postcard rack was totally wrecked."

"She must be made of iron," Mabel guessed, "or maybe copper! She has red hair; it makes too much sense!"

"Copper is a softer metal," Dipper reminded her sister, who shrugged without concern.

"She's clearly a robot," Mabel said, "a freaky cool robot who can take some super-punishment. She instantly could tell it wasn't you, you know!"

"Really?" Dipper asked, surprised to hear this, "but you were fooled?"

"I- hey," Mabel's already naturally red cheeks grew brighter still, "I was worried you hurt yourself- I just-" Dipper snickered at his sister, and she pouted, "not cool, dude."

"Now who needs to take it easy?" Dipper reminded her with a rub of her shoulder, "I'm just poking fun at you."

"You big dumbo," she called him, her tongue slightly poking out of her mouth in indignation.

"Right," Dipper snickered as the entered their room, "oh, this is going to feel great; knowing there isn't something out there trying to get me."

"Us, dude," Mabel reminded him, "it wanted revenge on all of us."

"Fair point," Dipper said, turning away from her as he tossed off his shirt. The two quickly changed, facing away from one another, and within a minute, they slumped into their beds, and sighed simultaneously. "This bed... I've missed you," Dipper said as he sprawled his legs out in a stretch.

"Dipper!" Mabel suddenly shot up, and her brother mimed her.

"What!?"

"We... I think we just broke, like, half your room rules," Mabel looked to the list written by the door.

"Oh... right," Dipper recalled, listing the errors with his fingers, "don't change in the room if it's occupied, don't leave your dirty clothes laying around, leave your shoe-" Dipper groaned, and stood up. With a brisk step, he reached over, grabbed the paper from the wall, crumbled it into a ball, and threw it aside, "there."

"But... you really wanted that list," Mabel told him, feeling like she had pressured him into removing the list altogether, "like a whole whopping lot of want."

"No. You were right," Dipper shrugged, "we're going to be busy the entire time while we're here. We're already zany as it is," Dipper said as he sat down, "so awkwardness is going to happen one way or another. Let's not complicate things when, at the end of the day, we're going to be this tired no matter what."

"...okay," Mabel nodded happily, "hey, I'm also sorry for not... you know, giving you a little breathing room out there."

"I... thanks, Mabel," Dipper grinned. "You know, I was even too tired to realize we changed in the same room, at the same time... that's weird," Dipper said as he fell back into his bed.

"So... we're okay?" Mabel asked carefully.

"Let's get some sleep first, and then we can find out tomorrow," Dipper told her as he winked and turned his lantern off.

"Good deal, sir," Mabel stroked her chin, and did the same for her own lantern.

"Goodnight, Mabel."

"G'night, Dipper-dotty."

* * *

Episode two, done! WOOHOO!

You know, we'll probably never know what shapeshifter tastes like. Or, for that matter, what seasonings go best with it! I mean, it could taste great with soy-sauce! Only the goblins hold that answer.

Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed this conclusion to Episode two! The next chapter's title is called "Old and New Faces". May or may not be meeting a few friendly teenagers in part one. ;) I know Mabel is excited. Tune in next week!

Now, let's see what's on the stream. Boy, I can't wait for that new Gravity Falls episode! (opens a tab on the browser. The Internet speed is atrocious, and time itself begins to feel the effects of the lag- slowly warping reality until it turns the monitor into a black hole) Wow, this episode is really... interactive- AAAHHH- (EZB is sucked into the newly formed black hole, which then burps loudly, and collapses on itself)

* * *

**19-8-1-16-5 25-15-21-18 6-15-18-13 20-15 2-18-5-1-11 20-8-5 14-15-18-13. **

**12-15-19-5 25-15-21-18 13-9-14-4 20-15 5-19-3-1-16-5 20-8-5 20-9-13-5.**

**23-8-1-20 23-9-12-12 25-15-21 2-5-14-4 20-15 18-21-14 6-18-15-13 20-8-5 5-14-4?**


	6. Old And New Faces: Part 1

"Dipper..."

Dipper groaned, and turned in his bed slightly. He heard his name from such a distance, but the comfort of the bed sheets, so warm and inviting, kept him still. It was probably just a dream fading away, or another coming closer.

"Dipper..."

"I'm sleeping," Dipper replied in his groggy state, "what is-"

"BODYSLAM!" Mabel bellowed, and without further warning, Dipper gasped as her entire weight crashed down onto his chest, destroying hopes of an easy awakening.

"Mabel!" Dipper gasped as she leapt off him, cackling happily.

"Get up, slowpoke!" she teased, grabbing morning wash wear as she hopped out of the room, "stuff to do! Mysteries to solve! People have to be scammed and Grunkle Stan is only so young!" Mabel reminded her brother as she disappeared behind the door.

Dipper growled as he caressed his now sore center. The ache he felt was caused more from the shock of a morning ambush than her actually landing on him. He gave the closed door one disapproving look as he shifted himself off the bed, ready to challenge the coming day. The corner of his vision snagged onto the two blue cylinders still sitting on the barely used desk by the wall. They had sat there all of yesterday, and as Dipper approached them, he could only wonder what they were exactly.

"Maybe this calls for a little research," Dipper nodded to himself. He gave it a little toss into the air and caught it again, "we're going to figure you out, whatever you are," Dipper told the cylinder fiercely. He placed it back down, moving to his dresser, but not before stubbing his toe on a leg of the desk.

Many curses and hops on one uninjured foot later, plus half an hour, Dipper and Mabel descended the stairs, finding their Grunkle Stan in the kitchen, pouring himself the cereal they had purchased the day before.

"Morning you two," he said as they moved for their own food needs, "what's the plan today? Search for the meaning of life? Make peace between gnomes and faeries? Poke a yeti in the butt?"

"In the butt," Mabel snickered as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"This is the mission," Dipper said readily, placing one of the two cylinders on the table before his great Uncle.

"Oh yeah, that thing," Grunkle Stan leaned in closer to them, adjusting his glasses to get a better look," what does it do again?"

"Look pretty," Mabel informed Grunkle Stan.

"Only so far," Dipper added, and continued, "I've tried going through a list of things it could possibly be-"

"Oi, here we go, another list," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes and brought over his cereal to the table as he sat down.

"The three top candidates are as follows," Dipper held the object in discussion to the light, "one; a highly sophisticated and advanced battery for something equally super-futuristic, two; a new type of information storage surpassing anything released to the public, and three; a strange module for biological information-"

"Bio-who-ha-whats-it?" Mabel asked, spilling some orange juice on her arm as she too sat down, "you can't escape that easy, orange blood," she murmured as she licked the juice off her skin.

"A capsule for DNA or maybe some sort of crazy disease," Dipper explained, "it seems self-contained, but also has a source of power- it keeps letting off that faint light," he gave it a quick shake, which it left a thin trail of white light, "see?"

"Kid, the last thing I want you to do with that if it has diseases is shake it around like a baby rattle," Grunkle Stan said as he leaned back, "unless you intend to wipe out the earth with whatever god-awful plague rests inside it."

"Eh... right," Dipper realized the point and quickly laid it to rest on the table before him, the color of the strange object catching and holding onto his visions focus. He stared at it, curious as to which, if any, theory of his held to the truth. After all, they served no directly notable purpose yet.

"What's the plan then?" Mabel asked as she sat down between the two, "should we find the closest government facility, break in and steal all their secrets?"

"That almost sounds dangerous," Grunkle Stan said calmly as he ate his cereal.

"Not yet. Even if there isn't anything official stated about this thing," Dipper rolled it around on the table, "we could probably find some sort of hint towards where it came from. If there was a source of internet up here," Dipper gave his Grunkle a dissatisfied look," wouldn't be such a problem."

"What? That costs money," Grunkle Stan held a spoon at Dipper with warning, "and something as needlessly complicated as the Internet won't help my life improve in quality."

"And you want to charge people for staying here," Dipper retorted as he stood and walked to the fridge.

"Hey! People don't come to Gravity Falls for a source of anti-social behavior. They come here, and specifically to this building, to get a look at freaky stuffed animals they think I caught out in those woods. Who needs internet?" Grunkle Stan defended his position well, and Dipper just shrugged. "I got all the weird they could want, here- in person! Right where it belongs."

"Here, here!" Mabel cheered, and aggressively downed her orange juice with a single gulp.

"You know, kiddo," Stan turned on his grand-niece, "you had me quite impressed yesterday. Just what was with all that high-kicking and punching crud, exactly?"

"It's called," Mabel pulled her Uncle and herself close, and arced her hand before them, "'The Paths'."

"The... Paths," Grunkle Stan repeated.

"A new form of martial art that was recently developed," Dipper answered as Mabel held on to her Grunkle, "she apparently has a personal teacher."

"Wow, Private lessons in beating people up!?" Grunkle Stan asked to Mabel, "you're walking down the right path, kid!"

"The Mabel agrees," the teenager stated, standing up from her seat, and strutting out of the kitchen.

"Put your glass in the sink," Dipper called to her as she vanished. Mabel made her same exit-strut back into the room, robotically cleaning her glass quickly, before walking out the same way, only backwards.

"I sometimes worry these things get to your heads," Grunkle Stan told Dipper, who was just finishing his glass of milk. "You know, maybe you should look into that sort of thing too, kid," Stan told Dipper as he began to leave the room.

"What? Stuff getting to my head?" Dipper asked and turned to face him

"Lessons on beating people up!" Stan said excitedly, "you know, your Grunkle Stan knows a thing or two about it."

"Uh, no offense, Grunkle Stan," Dipper held a hand up," I'm not all that into the idea."

"What?! You're actually going to let your sister beat you out on the 'being more a man than you' contest?" Stan asked with disbelief. Dipper scowled.

"Beating people up isn't a sign of manliness," Dipper told his Grunkle, "it just means you failed at coming to a compromise or agreement."

"Ugh," Stan shivered in disapproval, "You reek of wimpy. Here," he reached into the maintenance closet, and pulled out a paint bucket and a pair of brushes, "before you go solving the mysteries that no one cares about, freshen up the paint on the front walls."

"Oh, what-"

"No buts! Get on it!" Grunkle pointed to the door. Dipper turned heatedly and marched ahead, holding the paint and brushes tightly. He walked into the room, where Mabel was busy trying to re-arrange letters on post cards to create positive and overly-happy sentences.

"Grab it," Dipper dropped a paint brush by her feet, "we got painting to do."

"Wax on, wax off," Mabel muttered as she grasped the paint brush and followed her brother out the door.

The two started their painting of the front walls. The wood was rough and worn, making clean strokes hard and not getting paint on them harder. While this supposedly meaningless task angered Dipper, Mabel found immense fun in painting. Her strategy was much different than Dipper, who would try to paint along the length of the boards of wood. She instead made intricate stories involving people and crazed fairy tales, and would merely paint over them when that part of the story concluded.

"-and then when the great pink dragon, Gloomby, appeared," Mabel painted a large dragon with a large round belly and goofy eyes, "he promised to take princess Aura and prince Crystalline to the highest mountain tops," she painted a large and curved mountain, "where they could finally break the dreaded werewolf's curse by kissing under the light of the moon, under an aurora!"

"I hope so badly this is you, just making this up, and not an actual show plot," Dipper said to himself as she continued.

"But-" Mabel painted over the rest of what she had just completed, "they arrive too late, and princess Aura turns into the dreaded Werewolf of Scary-Forest-Land-ia!" she painted a forest with a frowny face, and a truly detailed and scary werewolf woman, "and it's up to prince crystalline to defeat his one true love in a bid of survival! Oh, the humanity!" Mabel made to faint, and tossed her brush aside. Dipper saw her falling from the corner of his eye, and grabbed her quickly. "Safe! Ten out of ten, bro."

"Okay," Dipper let himself laugh for a moment, "c'mon, let's wrap this up before Grunkle Stan decides he has other things for us to slave over."

"I will find the fun in it, even if it destroys me," Mabel declared with her entire being. Dipper pushed his sister back up just as sounds of an approaching truck had the two turn. Soos in his simple pickup truck came up the driveway. "Hi Soos!"

"Heya you two," Soos pointed to the two of them as he stepped out," painting today? You know what they say about painting," Soos joked.

"What?" Mabel begged for the answer, excitement shooting from her eyes.

"That... uh... once the can... is... canned," Soos struggled to come up with a clever catchphrase, "you... gotta... once- gosh, uh, once the can is open, you gotta make a... jokin'."

"Poetry," Mabel gasped in awe.

"The struggle for art is ever present in our lives. Wow, speaking of art," Soos spotted the still intact painting Mabel had done, "a wonderful interpretation of 'The Magical Sparkling Adventures of Aura Dearest'."

"Oh god, it really is a show," Dipper groaned.

"Web-comic," Soos corrected him.

"Well, I've heard of crazier shows than that, I guess," Dipper sighed as the three of them admired Mabel's handiwork, "dude, sis, we should totally leave it up and see how long it takes for Stan to notice it."

"TOTES HAPPENING!" Mabel cheered as she fist-pumped into the air. "Wanna place a bet on how long it takes?"

"Three days," Dipper guessed.

"I will estimate... thirteen days," Soos announced.

"Oddly specific!" Mabel told him happily.

"Thirteen carries significance after all," Soos reminded them, "it is both a numerical blessing, and a cursed number."

"Well, I'm done with giving the wall a new look," Dipper said, tossing the brush aside lazily, "we've got a mystery to crack."

"Gonna crack down on this mystery!" Mabel agreed.

"We take the car this time," Dipper turned to his sister, and she quickly pouted, her hopes of scaring the daylights out of her brother dashed. The twins, after grabbing one of the mysterious cylinders, left for the town. Mabel was insistent on something playing on the radio, yet found little to their interest. "I could have sworn there was a good station on two days ago. Playing techno-stuff is at least different than the usual country music," Dipper said gloomily as they drove into town.

"Here we go," Dipper said as he parked across the street from the library, "it's kind of weird knowing that there's a secret passageway leading to the mines underneath town."

"Just think Dipper," Mabel said as they j-walked, "if there was a serious earthquake, this entire town could vanished into a series of holes in the ground! Like if mole-men were invading!" she said with dread.

"Not exactly comforting," Dipper told his sister as they entered the building.

"Oh, good," the Librarian with large glasses, Miss Isoar, spoke as they entered, "I was worried I had locked you two in here overnight a few days ago. I'm very pleased you two didn't perish."

"Thanks, Miss Isoar," Dipper nodded to her stiffly as they walked past, and turned to his sister, "most unfortunate last name ever."

"At least it isn't stupid, like... booger," Mabel guessed, "so, where do we start?"

"I don't know," Dipper sighed as he peered around. "Why don't you bring over books about advanced bio-engineering and robotics, and I'll go through some basic practical uses of quantum-"

"English! Dipper, I speak English!" Mabel reminded her brother.

"Just bring every recently published book that looks sciency, okay?" Dipper told her sister.

"Yessir!" she saluted, and trotted off.

The two claimed an entire table to pour over books. Dipper had made quite a collection, worthy of any scholar in the advances in science, ranging almost every possible topic he thought the strange objects could be included in. Many of the texts, to his anger, were far too unspecific for his desires, and dealt with hypothetical developments and nothing pointed to what they may have. The few times he felt his stomach tighten at the mention of a development in technology that could lead to a possible discovery, he ended up finding a dead end. He rubbed his eyes after scanning through his third scientific journal, and looked at Mabel.

She seemed to be pleasantly enjoying herself, staring into a book that was propped up to prevent Dipper's eyes from seeing the contents. The cover of the book said 'Advances In Artificial Intelligence and Their Merits', but Dipper stared at his sister as her eyes remained nearly in the same spot for several seconds. Her mouth curled in a tiny smile and her eyes twinkled. Dipper even spotted a single, brightly colored page poking out from the book, different in its light-sheen from the other pages.

"Which magazine are you looking at?" he asked suddenly.

"Nothing!" she slammed the book closed after a moment, smiling a little too toothily to be innocent.

"It's poking out of the book, you know," Dipper pointed out at the large book. Mabel followed the accusation, and indeed the top section of a magazine was emerging.

"Whoosh," Mabel shoved the book off the table and dusted her hands off, "I guess that one wasn't working out."

"... How many pages did you actually get into that?" Dipper asked, not attempting to hide his disappointment.

"Seven," Mabel admitted with a crestfallen look to her brother, and Dipper rolled his eyes, "oh dude, come on! I can't handle nerdy books like this! They're all about math and studies and stuff. There isn't anything fun in these!"

"It's research, Mabel," Dipper told his sister. "It usually is kinda slow."

"Research isn't always boring and slow! It's just about the topic, and this topic is putting my eyes into a trance of sleepy time," Mabel rested her head moodily on the table, "and there are too many words with eight or more letters in them. My eyes! Dey cannot take eet!" Mabel dropped her face directly against the table with a 'plumph'.

"So you're just going to let me go through all of this?" Dipper asked grumpily. Mabel's response was to take the first book her hands could find as they scraped across the table, open it, and place it on top her head. "Learning by Osmosis?" Dipper asked, a corner of his mouth turned up in humor.

"I will endure," Mabel mumbled gloomily at the table.

"I don't think that expression is even correctly grasping what osmosis is-" Dipper thought aloud, but was startled when Mabel's head shot up like a rocket, her book flying off to the side. "WOAH! Mabel, what is it? It... it didn't actually work, did it?" Dipper asked in astonishment.

"Shh," she smushed her palm against his mouth, and they both listened. It took a moment for Dipper to decide what she was focusing on, but he followed her line of vision to the entrance of the building. Outside, a conversation was passing by. Mabel's focus hardened and sharpened as the distant sounds of a talk between two girls grew slightly closer. Her eyes narrowed as she peered at the door, almost positive she knew the source behind the talk. As she waited, two girls passed by the Library door, one a skinny girl with thick glasses, the other a tall and heavy set girl with a broad body.

"Hey, wasn't that-" Dipper mumbled.

Dipper learned the hard way that Mabel's ability to propel herself at inhuman speeds had not been haltered in their time living separately. He was nearly tossed out of his chair, and the table almost catapulted out of the way as Mabel blazed through the library, desperate to exit and reach the two girls talking to one another as they passed by. Mabel blasted out of the door with near-sonic speeds, screeching to a halt as she breathed heavily.

The two ahead of her had turned at the smell of scorched sidewalk. Mabel panted loudly as she turned her vision upwards. To her grand excitement, it hadn't been a moment of wishful thinking that brought her outside. She knew the two passing teens.

"Mabel?" two teenagers asked as they stared with eyes as wide as hers.

"GUYS!" Mabel screeched and charged her long lost friends, Grenda and Candy Chiu. The huge hug that followed between the three of them could have sent shockwaves into the surrounding forests of lasting plutonic love.

"Mabel, it is so good to see you again!" Candy stated happily as they broke from their hug, Mabel nearly jogging in place as they looked at her. Candy was shorter than Mabel and wore very thick glasses. Her pale skin contrasted with her jet black hair, giving her a ghostly look.

"Yeah! You should have come up to visit sooner!" Grenda told Mabel excitedly. She was a towering teenager with auburn hair. Grenda was built both in body size and in muscle, she was easily the biggest girl Mabel had ever hugged.

"Woah! Grenda, what happened to your voice?!" Mabel asked as she heard her friend speak again, for the first time in three years.

"I got a speech coach at school!" Grenda announced proudly. Indeed, her voice had improved considerably. While she had not lost the deep nature of her voice, strong and resonant, it was certainly no longer gruff. She sounded strangely womanly; smoother and more level than it had been before. "It brought me to tears for ever!"

"Mabel, we weren't told you were coming back to town," Candy told Mabel with a grin, "what's with the visit?"

"Oh, well," Mabel started casually, "my brother and I thought Grunkle Stan died, but he was just capture and held ransom for his Mystery Shack, and instead of going home we had to face a horrible shape shifting monster who got taken away by an army of Goblins, who probably ate him. You know, the usual stuff."

"That does seem like a sensible reason to visit," Candy said with a pleased smile.

"Hey, Mabel," Dipper's voice called back from inside the Library, catching the three's attention," oh, hi guys! Long time no see."

"Hi Dipper!"

"Hey Dipper!" the two waved to him cheerily.

"Mabel, you know I don't want to be that jerk, but we were looking up stuff that object could be, you know, related to?" he asked her patiently. Mabel glared at him with her hands at her hips. "I... fine," he scowled, nearly hitting someone entering the shop, "sorry," he mumbled as he walked inside.

"Wow, Mabel," Grenda said loudly, "I thought you grew up to be pretty. Dipper has hair growing- On his face!"

"That is an accomplishment for your brother, no doubt," Candy added with a polite nod.

"Psh, he's starting to," Mabel shrugged off the compliments, "but you two! You both look fantabulous!"

"We should organize a party! Grenda leaned in.

"Maybe, for old time sakes, we could rent some crazy rom-coms and a whole metric ton of Pitt?" Mabel suggested eagerly. The three giggled and began exchanging ideas for the evening, excited to set up plans for the future.

Dipper grumbled as he returned to his seat. Being dumped for Mabel's long-since friends was harsh, but he supposed that Mabel, despite her good intentions, wouldn't be much as help as he hoped she would. So, sitting back down, he opened another book, and began pouring into it.

What felt like hours passed to little avail. Again and again he scanned through text and passages for mention of anything relatable to what they had, and found nothing. The 'already looked through' pile grew and stacked up, and he was running out of things the library had at all to offer. Not to top it off, by the time he was at his second to last book, Mabel finally returned, happy as the day she discovered sugar.

"About time," Dipper mumbled as he looked into his book, "here's the last one we need to go through. Just do me a favor and scan it for anything we might need to know, okay?" he asked of her harshly as he lightly shoved over the last text to her. In his haste to assign her work, he missed the look on her face. She had gone from happy to an all too evident strain of guilt. Her brother, after a moment of peering into the book, and realizing she had made no movements, looked to her. Their eyes met, and one of those crazy twin communication moments happened. He knew she had done _it_. "Oh... oh no, you didn't."

"I may have."

"No, tell me you didn't," Dipper begged.

"I more than probably did."

"Mabel... why? Wy!?" he demanded with horror dripping in his voice.

"Because," Mabel adopted a lecturing tone, "When a group of teenagers catch up, the most sensible thing for them to do, is to all get together and have one EPIC SLEEPOVER!" Mabel burst up, dancing on her chair excitedly. Dipper's face fell to the table with a loud bang. "Oh, come on," Mabel scoffed at him, "I'm sure you can get your kicks from the kind of parties we hold! We're a bit more mature than when we were twelve."

"I recall letting my heel be a chew toy for a night to avoid those parties," Dipper darkly informed her, still face first into the table.

"Oh, brighten up!" Mabel smiled fully at him, "at least it's-" her sentence fell away, looking past her brother. He looked up from his slouch, giving her a curious look.

"What?" he asked, starting to follow her stare. Behind them, by a darker corner in the library where cobwebs and dust seemed rampant, a person in a large, hooded jacket hastily pushed book after book from the shelf into a hidden bag.

"It doesn't matter where you are," Mabel stated aloud, "anyone in a hoodie stuffing things away looks suspicious as heck."

"Agreed. Pause from the research," Dipper and Mabel stood from their seats and began approaching the mysterious and suspicious figure.

"Hey!" Mabel called to the man, "what's with all the book-shoving and stuff?"

The figure froze, and jerked it's head towards them. They saw a pale face with equally pale blue eyes as he watched them approach. A strand of blond hair fell past his face, a frantic look about him as the twins glared at him.

"Uh-uh-uh," the person stuttered, accidentally dropping one of his books. As soon as the book fell to the ground, he suddenly turned, and ran down one of the aisles.

"Get that stutterer!" Mabel bellowed as she and her brother split. Dipper turned to the left, hoping to cut off the fleeing figure while Mabel ran right after them. The person was quick, running not only out of the aisle, but into another, forcing Dipper to re-think his plan.

"No running in the Library!" Miss Isoar scolded them as they darted around the interior.

Again and again this person flew from one aisle to another, randomly choosing new places to vanish behind. Dipper was growing tired and frustrated. Each time he thought he had the person cornered, the person changed directions. He couldn't cut him off, no matter how hard he tried. Mabel, however, was hot on the figure's trail.

"Almost got him!" Mabel cried as she chased him.

In a daring act, the figure leapt onto one of the large bookshelves. It teetered for a moment, and then the person leapt again, higher onto another shelf. Mabel attempted following suit, but the shelves grew more and more unstable. As she made to lunge at him one last time, the shelf beneath her gave away, and she fell to the floor as an entire row of books collapsed onto her.

"My books!" Miss Isoar yelped in fear as her collections came crumbling down.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, but Mabel was already pulling herself out of the wreckage.

"After him, man!" she pointed, and Dipper spotted the wanted man bolting for the door. Dipper nodded and charged, putting as much forward momentum he could into his bull-rushing. With a roar that would make any manly creature proud, he charged into the hooded figure just outside the shop, causing the person to spiral aside, spilling all the contents of the hidden bag out. The hood fell off, and Dipper finally saw the person- a young man, probably eighteen or so, acne here or there with dark bags under his eyes and bright blond hair. He looked like a gangly mess. Dipper started to get up from his charge when the man scrambled to grab as many books as he could, and then ran off.

"You forgot some, you creep!" Dipper shouted, unable to follow, realizing he had landed on one of his knees, busting it up mildly. A chase was out of the question now, but he watched where the man ran to until he made a turn by the alley that was between the biker bar and a small office building. "Agh... ow," he looked down to his scraped up knee, and winced as he stretched it to assess damages.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked as she stepped out, and then spotted her wounded brother, "ohmigosh! Dipper!"

"It's just- ow," Dipper hissed as he tried shaking to imply the lack of injury, as his eyes slightly watered, "okay, its- uh... doesn't hurt."

"How bad is it?" she asked, leaning down to inspect it, "you're probably going to need disinfectant, you goober."

"Goober, am I?" Dipper grinned triumphantly, and waved a hand to the other half of the dropped books their target had left behind, "look what he left behind for us."

"Ah yes! We've- wait... Ew. No more reading," Mabel requested strongly.

"Let's see what- ow!" Dipper clutched at his knee, "ah... okay... Mabel, can you just pick them up for me? Toss them into the car, would ya?" Dipper asked his sister.

"Wait!" Mabel said aloud, catching her brother by surprise, "we... should probably check these all out."

Miss Isoar was much less pleasant towards the Pines twins when they re-entered the Library. Aside from nearly destroying her entire library, they had blatantly disregarded almost every rule a standard library had, let alone her personal rules. While Mabel attempted to apologize multiple times, insisting that someone was trying to steal the books, Miss Isoar would coldly ask, "Would that be all!?" each time she finished a book.

The two left the Library as fast as Dipper could limp. Something they had discovered, from the pile they collected from the mysterious thief was that one of the books was not from the library- a slightly worn leather journal with entries spanning months. Mabel was very curious to spy into the life of someone like that, but Dipper reminded her of the seriousness of the possible situation as they drove back to the Mystery Shack, soon to be Manor.

"Ah, the trouble twins return," Grunkle Stan called to them from outside, oblivious to the shack's painted picture of a werewolf behind, "yeesh, what happened to you two?" Grunkle Stan noted the roughed up nature of the twins, as Mabel was covered in bruises from falling books and Dipper limped with his scraped knee while carrying a bag of books.

"The Library is a war-zone only the brave should venture," Mabel explained darkly.

"Huh. My limited interest does call for me to ask questions, but that could lead to responsible actions, so forget that. Get inside and get yourselves cleaned up. And no blood on the carpets!" Grunkle Stan warned Dipper, who scowled at him.

"A true humanitarian," Dipper grumbled as he limped into the house.

"Whoa, dude," Wendy had since arrived from their departure, and spotted them walking in by her usual spot, "don't tell me I missed some crazy adventure," she said as they walked inside, Stan closing the door behind them.

"Library isn't what it used to be," Dipper groaned as he walked past.

"Books did that to you?" Wendy snickered, "guys, you just read with them."

"That's boring!" Mabel argued," it's more fun to make giant fortresses out of them, and wage bloody war against the fortresses! BWAAH!" Mabel ran ahead, yelling bloody murder as she knocked her brother aside.

"I heard a triumphant charge," Soos poked his head in through the doorway.

"Just our glorious return, Soos," Mabel patted his arm, "next time we'll include you in on the mystery chase."

"For-sooth, I am yet to be forgotten," Soos said dramatically as he held the back of his against his face, and left the room.

"Hey, Dipper," Wendy called as the twins made for the kitchens, "catch," she tossed him a small medicinal tube from under the counter, "works better on open cuts and stuff than the standard crud. Be a man, it's going to suck putting on."

"Thanks," he nodded thankfully, and they entered the kitchen with Grunkle Stan, who pulled out a small roll of gauze, and place it on the counter.

"So, any luck with the glowing tube found at my fake-wake?" Grunkle Stan said as he sat down, watching them apply their needed medicines.

"Not a thing," Dipper said as he applied the thick grey paste to his leg. "Ow! She wasn't kidding!" he gasped as pain rocketed through his body, a terrible stinging pulsing at his knee where the scrape met with the paste.

"But we attacked a creepy man in the library," Mabel said as she withdrew an ice cube from the freezer and began to glide it along the bruises on her arm.

"A creepy looking guy?" Stan repeated, "was McGucket trying to eat magazines again?"

"No, we never saw this guy before. Had pale skin and bright hair... kind of looked nervous?" Dipper tried explaining the person's appearance, "wore a hooded jacket.

"Sounds like any other grungy teen that walks around at night," Grunkle Stan told him.

"We caught him trying to steal away some of these," Dipper reached behind him and lifted the bag he had placed down, spilling the contents of the table. Stan leaned forward, adjusting his glasses to better read the books.

"Huh, okay, let's see here... Arcane Archaics, Jaded Eyes Towards the Skies, whoa, wait a second," Grunkle Stan stood, going through books faster and faster, a frantic energy building behind his eyes.

"Whab is ib?" Mabel asked with a full mouth, having given up on dabbing her book-caused injuries and instead started chewing on her ice-cube.

"Grunkle Stan, do you know these books?" Dipper asked as Grunkle Stan scanned the covers of the nine checked out books that they had rented from the library.

"Kids, this is bad news if someone is trying to steal away these kinds of books," Grunkle Stan placed the one he had just been looking at down, and gave them a warning stare, "these here books are tied very closely to the kinds of rituals that brought monsters like Bill Cipher to this town."

"What?!" Dipper and Mabel both exclaimed.

"Not joking with you," Grunkle Stan flipped open one of the books, and displayed its contents; a detailed blue-print for a type of ritual involving plants, animals, and many bowls of scribbled down liquids. "These are some old copies of seriously dangerous magical stuff. Spells and enchantments, summoning rituals, binding chants; the whole nine yards of bad magic-mojo-news."

"And this is only half of what he was trying to get away with," Dipper mentioned aloud. Grunkle Stan seemed more worried at this news, and put down the book.

"I'm going to put this to you straight," Grunkle Stan sat down, looking intently into the eyes of his kin, "don't try using these books for anything but research. The kinds of stuff in these books are as dangerous as they come- curses that can change the course of a family's history level of bad! If someone is going around swiping these kinds of texts away, who knows what they're trying to accomplish. So... be careful. You probably just stumbled into a big, nasty can of worms someone else is holding above all our heads."

"And they could pour at any second," Mabel grimly added.

"Who knows?" Grunkle Stan mentioned.

"Well, as long as I can throw in the first punch, they wont have a chance to cast any spell my way!" Mabel grinned cockily, "cus when the Mabel gets the fire going, the fire spreads!"

"That just makes it sound like you're flammable," Dipper said.

"Pwah! Don't hate on the Mabes," Mabel pointed an accusatory finger at her brother. "Besides, its not like you're going to be the one who can out-fight whoever is looking up these things."

"What? I can hold my ground if I need to," Dipper debated, wincing as he dabbed some more cream onto his knee.

"Uh huh," Grunkle Stan gave him a disbelieving look, "like that one time you never fought anyone successfully in your life."

"Hey! I fought-" Dipper started to mention Rumble McSkirmish, only to recall he sorely lost the fight despite sending him back to the video game reality, "I messed up Gideon, didn't I?"

"Oh, look out," Grunkle Stan nudged Mabel in the shoulder, "Dipper over here beat up a shrimpy, loud mouthed, porter belly boy! Looks like he's moving up the ranks!"

"I bow," Mabel began to snicker with Stan, "to your awesome might, oh terrifying one!"

"Hey, I could totally learn anything as well as you can if I put my mind to it!" Dipper defended himself heatedly as the two laughed at him. "I bet that whole martial arts thing isn't that hard."

"Maybe not for me," Mabel bit her lip in stifling her laughter as she stepped towards him, "but you'd probably just end up over-thinking things, like usual. Boop-" out of seemingly no where, she placed a sticker on his forehead, which read 'Authentic Strong-ham' with a picture of a pink pig with large muscular arms lifting old-time dumbbells.

"Whatever," Dipper turned back to the table, and scooped up the books into the bag they came in, "I'll be looking through these, in case someone actually needs something important."

Mabel and Stan shared an amused glance and began laughing again as Dipper departed from the kitchen, slightly scowling. Mabel hopped out of the room with her brother, skipping past him up the stairs. As she entered the room and made for her clothing selection, Dipper looked in, uncertain of her purpose in their room.

"So, what are you going to be doing while I look these through? Nothing too loud, right?" Dipper asked deliberately.

"Define loud," she asked, pulled out a series of workout clothing.

"Like you're going to stomp around the room, loud?" Dipper asked as she took her clothing and departed. As he situated himself on his bed, he slid the books out and around him. Many of them were indeed older, some appearing to even have dates from prior to the twentieth century. Mabel came back into the room, wearing a martial arts robe of white with grey lining, a single brown belt tied around her waist, "wow. Okay, I gotta admit, kinda of cool."

"I know, right!?" Mabel twirled, allowing the ends of her robe to swing out as he spun, "this is mid-rank, brown belt, in the Paths," she explained, pointing to the color.

"So, the last is black? With different degrees in mastery?" Dipper tried guessing as she removed her shoes.

"Nope! In the paths, there is no such thing as master level," Mabel explained as she sat herself down in a butterfly stretch.

"Really? I... I don't know how to feel about that," Dipper answered honestly, watching her go through several quick stretches. "What do you do to distinguish from student and teachers?"

"Oh, well, they're called the Focus-Level. When you get past mid-rank, brown," Mabel said, jumping up and jogging in place, "you and your teacher decide an appropriate elemental that works with you. That element tells you your further training."

"Wait... so not everyone knows the same moves?" Dipper said, hoping as she bounded in the air that she would be less noisy when he decided to sit down and go through the books, "how does that work?"

"Well, there are basic move sets, but The Paths isn't about knowing moves entirely, it's about energy! And cool stuff! Like," she tried explaining, stopping for a moment from her warm up, "some people are more likely letting others tire themselves out in a fight while using little of their own energy, while someone else is more likely to be aggressive and forward to take them down quicker. Those two people shouldn't have to know how to fight the same, because they can use their different thoughts to different skills."

"Okay... that's not too bad, I guess," Dipper nodded in understanding, "so, do you have any idea what you're... uh, 'element' is? I'm going to guess... fire."

"Yup! At least, its a tie between fire and air," Mabel nodded proudly, and adopted a dramatic stance as she stared into the distance, "for the great flame of passion flows through my body, yet I am not tied to the earth: I will soar through the air, like a... goose!"

"Geese are evil. Be a hawk or something cooler," Dipper told her as he lifted a book to himself.

"I can be a goose if I wanna!" she stuck out a tongue at him, and began her practice.

The two remained in their room for quite some time. To Mabel, is was great work. She easily glided through the techniques she had trained for over a year with, each one seamlessly becoming the next one to practice. She would mouth the words of her teacher as she practiced, occasionally throwing in a Mabel trademark sound effect as she completed a more impressive technique.

Dipper was less enthused about her practice. While she was mostly quiet, the few times she let herself become airborne distracted Dipper greatly. He would peek up from the book he was looking into to watch her, wondering mostly if he couldn't do that himself, and then occasionally was just down-right impressed with her skill. It wasn't like him to quickly be pulled away from his studies so easily. He could only wonder that should their parents have remained together, would he had the same kind of training.

Eventually Dipper was spared the continual distractions. With a sigh and bow to someone invisible before her, Mabel bounded to her shoes, placed them on, and let her brother know she was going to be jogging outside. Dipper wished her well, and finally began to really dig into the text.

Grunkle Stan hadn't been wrong. Many of the passages were totally reference and historical context, but the sheer amount of dark work in the books astounded Dipper. He began to mentally tally the amount of times a book called for a sacrifice in recorded magical spells.

Grim book after dark text were looked through, and Dipper had began to take notes; not on the spells suggested inside, but the connections between them all. As of the fifth book, so far he had discovered a link between demon-rituals, summoning the dead, levitation, a particularly detailed collection on how to bind souls to people, and a whole mess of potion and alchemy collections.

Then the second to last book fell open. Dipper's eyes widened. The was the oldest book of the nine rented was literally a spell manual. It boggled Dipper's mind as he looked through them, the spells ranging from detecting a person's presence to shooting fire from your hands. Many had incantations and mystical regents to use for these spells, while others were 'focused rituals'; mental projections of thoughts to create magic. Dipper realized that this was more than likely the most important of the nine abandoned books the jittery man had forgotten.

One of the spells within the text caught his eye- mimicry. Dipper's curiosity had himself scan the notes and realized it was less of mimicry and more of a copy and paste for talent and skill. His mind reeled at the possibility for someone to use this spell over and over, and the egotistic fantasy scenarios started popping in his head- from being the greatest martial artists in the world to being the greatest mathematician that ever lived. Yet his Grunkle's warning flashed in his mind, and giving the requirements for the spell a look over, he sighed. He would not be willingly drinking fresh, sacrificed blood any time in his life.

By the time he had turned to the tenth book, the journal, Mabel had returned, sweating and panting excitedly. She made happy talk with her brother, yet he did little to reply, having tasked himself with reading into the journal. By the time Mabel had run into the shower and cleaned off, he was feverishly writing down important notes.

"I thought Grunkle Stan said we shouldn't try those spells and stuff," Mabel asked as she stepped back in, drying her hair with a towel.

"This isn't spells. This is that creep's journal. He mentions finding a shelter that is separate from the rest of the town with it's entrance 'wonderfully disguised' from any buildings. This journal, so far, mostly is about tasks this guy has gotten from a 'master' who he doesn't call by name," Dipper concluded disappointedly, and added in sarcasm, "because that would be too easy for me to just find the bad-guys real name, right here in his own journal."

"Well, in The Paths, you aren't supposed to talk about your master using their name. That way their secret identity can remain unheard," Mabel said excitedly, "and people don't go around looking to prove themselves in a fight."

"You can't even describe what they look like?" Dipper asked, flipping several more pages, each with brief snippets about this persons master, "this dude doesn't even want to talk about the guys favorite color or whatever."

"Of course we can talk about what they look like," Mabel answered happily, "my master is a beautiful woman with long bright brown hair and large blue eyes who's gaze is akin to a moonlit walk along a gentle pond," she ended very artistically, a grace in her voice.

"Right... so she looks sort of like you?" Dipper asked, and Mabel shrugged.

"I guess so, bro-deh-bro."

"Well, I'm sure that's cool and all-" Dipper yawned, stretching out his arms, "feels like I've been here for hours."

"You have," Mabel told him as she plopped down on her bed, "it's almost seven."

"WHAT!?" Dipper gasped, peering out the window he had neglected the entire afternoon, "how long did you jog for?!"

"I dunno. I just ran around the shack a few times. I lost count after fifty or so," Mabel wondered mentally if she had truthfully done the amount of running she had been supposed to complete or more.

"Then that means-" Dipper started, but cut himself off. The sound of a car coming to a halt outside the house caught his attention. Dipper quickly stepped to the window and looked below to his horror; two teenage girls had stepped out of a parked van, large duffle bags at their sides.

"It begins!" Mabel yelled excitedly as she hopped up and down, and charged down the stairs to greet her friends.

"It... begins," Dipper whispered, mental battle-stations going off in his head.

An hour later, Dipper had realized he had made a grave error. He had decided to take his studying of the books more seriously, and presented himself to the desk and taken upon himself to do very detailed notes, trying to pinpoint the location of the pale-man's hideaway. He had hoped that with his immense focus on such an important topic, the three girls behind him wouldn't cause too much distraction.

He was entirely wrong.

"I mean, who goes around stealing books, anyway?" Mabel asked to her two friends as they sat on the floor, magazines and food items strew around them.

"Maybe he wanted to do a crazy collage of magical books," Grenda suggested, "and was going to rip out the pages. You can't return destroyed books, can you?"

"Not without fines," Candy answered, her voice as diminutive as ever, "at least you two got that journal of his."

"Speaking of journals," Grenda bounced off the mentioned subject, "would you believe whose journal got left around at school?"

"Oh, I heard about that!" Candy excitedly replied.

"Lemme in on this dirt! Whose was it?" Mabel asked, leaning closer.

"Pacifica Northwest!" Candy announced and Grenda bawled with laughter. Mabel gasped and grinned devilishly.

"Shut up! Really?" Mabel gasped.

"Her face looked like a tomato for two straight weeks after that!" Grenda told Mabel, "it didn't stop glowing red until she found who had taken her journal and started texting notes from it to everyone."

"I think whoever found it vanished after that," Candy puzzled in thought.

"Wow, I can't believe I missed something like that," Mabel admitted, shaking her head, "so what has Miss all-the-money-in-the-world been up to?" Mabel asked.

"Being a jerk-wad, like usual," Grenda told her bluntly.

"She's the head in almost all the clubs at school, so it's hard for anyone who she doesn't really like to become part of a club," Candy stated sadly, "the only club I've been able to get into is the 'Practical Engineering Club', and that's because I'm a founding member."

"Woah, that sounds kind of cool," Dipper turned briefly from his notes, nodding in approval to the mention of the club.

"Thank you, Dipper," Candy smiled back.

"How many are in it?" Dipper asked.

"Three," Candy admitted, slightly deterred.

"Oh," Dipper nodded, and turned back to his notes.

"But she's not _that_ smart!" Mabel pointed out, "how is she getting to be the head of these clubs?"

"She gives generous donations to the clubs funds," Candy explained sadly, "and she gets the title of sponsor and adviser. She's in fifteen clubs total, I think."

"I almost got kicked off the weight-lifting club because of her!" Grenda growled, "that little troll."

"And here I thought I had made some headway with her," Mabel sighed, thinking back to her previous summer in Gravity Falls.

Pacifica Northwest had been her one true nemesis. Gideon Gleeful, a note-worthy jerk if there ever was, fell into the category of hated enemy more than nemesis. Pacifica was a girl of extremely wealthy background and had loved to flaunt it around like no one knew. Her family owned dozens of businesses and she loved to act like her first name was on a great many of those organizations. Her sense of ego and Mabel's love of good sportsmanship clashed instantly upon meeting one another. Yet, at the end of the Summer, Mabel could have sworn she had made an improvement to Pacifica's views of being a decent human being. Maybe she had been wrong.

"I don't know about her, but I do know about "Brunch Meeting"!" Grenda announced, pulling out a DVD copy of a movie made in the eighties about teen angst and social stereotypes. Mabel and Candy both shouted in approval. Dipper, over by his corner, had enough.

"Well, I'll just leave you three to, uh, whatever it is you plan on doing for the rest of the night," Dipper said as he began to stuff his study-materials into a backpack and grabbed his jacket.

"Where're you going off to?" Mabel asked his brother with a studious eye.

"Downstairs. Or the car. Somewhere quieter, I guess," Dipper shrugged as he slipped his shoes on and left the room.

"He gotten much taller," Candy noted after he left, "so did you," she added to Mabel, who stuck out her tongue.

"Oh stop it, you!"

"So what's been happening with you?" Grenda asked Mabel as Candy pulled out a laptop from her duffle bag. "Anything cool? I saw that robe on the bed- are you doing karate?"

"Oh, no, guys, it's so cool!" Mabel gladly accepted the possibility of explaining her studies again. Twenty minutes into the movie playing into the background, Mabel had wrapped up talking about her studies at school, her many attempts at romance, and her great passion for martial arts she had taken up. Her long lost friends were certainly impressed with the amount of time she had put into it.

"You need to show us sometime," Candy told her excitedly.

"Naah, the Mabel shouldn't be bragging any more than that," Mabel told them with a wave of her hand.

"So, how good is your brother at it?" Grenda asked. Mabel blinked, not having expected the question.

"Uh... he doesn't study the paths," Mabel answered with a moment of thought.

"What? You only study martial arts?" Grenda repeated. "He doesn't? Isn't that, like, a required man-thing to do?"

"Yeah, I mean, he didn't even know about it until we came up here?" Mabel told them in an attempt to better explain her and Dipper's stauts, expecting that to answer their questions. Grenda and Candy turned to one another, confusion clearly etched into their looks. "Oh, right. You two aren't in the loop," Mabel nodded and remembered the fact that she and her brother weren't technically living with one another any more, "my, er, parents split up three years ago."

"Oh," Candy leaned up fully.

"No way," Grenda said sadly.

"Yeah. Apparently them sending us up here for the summer may or may not have been because they weren't getting along with one another, and needed some time to figure things out," Mabel nodded solemnly, "they were still kinda angry with one another when me and Dipper came back."

"Wait, does that mean-" Grenda started.

"-That you and Dipper were-" Candy continued.

"Living apart? Yeah," Mabel smiled her best, pathetic, little smile.

"That's horrible," Grenda noted with a heavy voice.

"That would explain why it became very hard to reach you after that summer," Candy thought aloud.

"Yeah. Kinda sucked when the best plan the parentals could come up with involved having us for alternating months, but then mom had to move out of the county, so we couldn't even do that. Now we just sort of... call one another, sometimes."

"It must have been hard," Candy told her. Mabel nodded, looking between her two friends. She already could feel the vibe of the party they were supposed to be having seeping away into a pity-fest for Mabel and Dipper. She kneeled forward, and pointed to the screen, where the movie continued to play.

"Blah! The only stupid feelings I want to see is from those fools! Just kiss her already, Diego!" Mabel called to the TV, getting a laugh from both her friends. The three of them sat together, drinking soda and making fun of the movie's characters intermittently while chatting and catching up. Mabel's mind, however, could not shake that cold spot she had gotten in her chest when thinking about her split family, and then how much had changed since she had last been up in this town.

* * *

Dipper had moved to his car, sitting in the front seat as he looked from one note he made to another. The notes the journal made were obviously not in mind for the outsider to read, as the entries were vague and nonchalant. Dipper grew frustrated with the idea that someone out there was this boring to read about and yet could pose such a threat to the town, or at least themselves.

"The town of Gravity Falls is my next target. I hope they have nice food. I miss nice food," Dipper read aloud from the journal, groaned, "this guy is dull as a cinder block."

The young teen wondered why he was putting this much effort into figuring out this case. The man clearly wasn't a fighting type- being a little taller than Dipper but preferred to run away. Maybe this was just one of those freaky dudes who decided to look up demonology for the sake of boredom. Not only that, he was supposed to be looking up the mysterious blue thing for clues as to what mystery was really going on. Yet, once again, Grunkle Stan's warnings rattled in his head, a siren of bad things to come. That, and you didn't have to be a fighting type to want to do serious harm.

Dipper peered through the windshield of the car, craning his head forward to see if the three upstairs had quieted down. He couldn't see them, but a faint reflection of a television or computer of sorts bounced down to him, and he sighed.

"You just couldn't hold off a night, could you?" he sighed angrily as he considered his sister's inability to displease her friends. He smirked suddenly, the idea of Mabel ever turning someone down when they had done nothing to earn her displeasure made him actually laugh. "Just not in your character," he added.

Dipper sighed as he decided what he was going to be doing. Tossing his notes to the side, he put a key into the ignition, and wound the car up. Heading down to town at night seemed like a crazy idea now, but his mind was set. He was going to get a lead on this one case. He spun the car around, and started driving away. Yet something caught his eye, just above him, high in the treetops.

"Wait," he stopped the car as he scanned high above him. He was certain something wispy and red had just darted above him, disappearing deeper into the forest canopy. He was almost willing to step outside and peer through the trees for the source of the bright color he had seen, yet sighed, remembering why he was leaving the shack for the evening. The car started forward again, and Dipper mentally prepared himself. He was already willing, but the entire night he would be spending looking for traces and clues of this person's whereabouts.

* * *

C'mon guys! So easily distracted! I mean, how easy is it for someone to just PAY ATTENTION to your freaking assignment of blue-cylinder thingy? . But then again, Creepy McSkulk-a-lots (not his real name) was certainly worthy to investigate I think. Who knows what he's up to? :o Then again, GRENDA AND CANDY! WOOPWOOP!

We needed to check in on those two social outcasts :D

Sorry for getting the update so late today, everybody. Midterms have ways of creeping up on you, and they mean business. I hope I didn't have an egregious amount of errors this week- usually pretty good about them.

So, I hope to hear from you ladies and gentlemen! Your words, encouraging or otherwise, always have a way of uplifting my desire to write.

Seeya next week! (EZB pulls a level on his desk, with the label nearby saying 'Dramatic Exit'.)

(From miles away, a massive, fiery explosion rocks the land as the building EZB was in is blasted apart.)


	7. Old And New Faces: Part 2

Hey guys, EZB here. I just wanted to 'heads you all up' on this chapter. It is a tad bit darker than the normal chapters of this story. It's nothing you all shouldn't be able to handle, but we are meeting a villain of this series today- so expect some evil/gross stuff. (Nothing that couldn't be seen in Harry Potter level of gross)

Anyway, Enjoy!

* * *

The strong taste of processed sugar and orange permeated on Mabel's tongue as she felt her mind return to consciousness. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw the ceiling of the attic room she and her brother stayed in, still moldy in some spots. Giving her lips a stretch, she realized her entire face was entirely crusted with dried out Pitt Orange, along with half her body.

"So... crunchy," she moaned as she began to move her body, slumped over backwards against her bed. A large mess lay before her, grand and incredibly variable in its collection of trash. Dozens and dozens of cans of soda were crushed around them. Grenda had fallen asleep flat on the floor, face half in a large plate of nacho-chips. Candy was nearly tucked inside her duffle bag, situated comfortably in her snuggled position.

Mabel took a quick step, and found herself not entirely inside her head. The previous intake of sugar and processed foods had taken its toll. Her vision was intact, but her mind processed it all just a moment too slowly. Holding her head upright, she accidentally stuck one of her hands against her sticky face. Nearly tripping off of Candy Chiu, she made her way towards the bathroom. She dared herself to look into the mirror and was not entirely surprised. Her hair was sticking up in more places than she could possibly count.

"I am a candied Mabel," she muttered, and let herself fall into the shower, and turned on the cold water. Forgoing the sake of her clothes, she let the less than room temperature water splash her face and head. "Was worth it," she reminded herself with a groggy smile.

Indeed the night had been fun. Those two ladies in the other room were Mabel's perfect get-aways from the rest of the world, and she had forgotten that until last night. In California, back at school, she could remember the friends she had made. Many of them were perfectly fine people, some crazier than others. Yet for almost all of them, a certain amount of judgment was constantly laid at Mabel's feet for her love of all things sparkly and sugary.

These two had no such concept of 'normality'. They themselves had felt the sting of separation, to be labeled as freaks. It was the consolation of being freaky that brought them closer than many other friendships. Mable smiled happily, even as her entire head became soaked in water. She stood back up, pulling a wash-cloth from a wrack and began to dry herself off.

"Now," She turned back towards the room, peering inside, "did Dip-Dip come to bed last night?" she asked herself as she craned her head to the side, looking past the doorway. His bed was truthfully empty, and she sighed. He was still that anti-fun boy she knew all her life. Never turning down a chance to do more work, Dipper was probably off researching more on the creeper from the library and his mystical studies.

With a strong yawn escaping her lips, she turned towards the stairs and descended. Hitting the landing softly, she peeked through to the gift shop and was surprised to see Wendy at her usual work post, and Soos straightening a variety of objects listed around the room. If they were here, then it was much later than she originally thought it was.

"Hey guys," Mabel croaked sleepily as she stumbled through the room.

"Hey," Wendy said from behind a newspaper.

"Sup dude. Up late solving mysteries?" Soos asked with a happy smile.

"Mystery of the boy-crazy romance comedies, maybe," Mabel told him as she rubbed her eyes, "had sleep over with Grenda and Candy.

"Cool- wait," Wendy asked, staring at Mabel as she dropped her paper in a rush," they're here?"

"Yeah? Grenda's van is out front, isn't it?" Mabel answered with a quizzing look towards the red head," why? You trying to hide a surprise from us?" Mabel guessed at the reaction Wendy had.

"No, dude," Wendy waved a reassuring hand at Mabel," no secrets over here."

"I'll be keeping an eye on you," Mabel grinned and stared at Wendy, who chuckled, and then snapped her fingers as her mouth fell open in realization.

"Shoot! Hey, I'll be back in a bit guys," she said, moving towards the door, "I need to go do something quickly. It won't take too long. Cover for me, would ya, Soos?"

"Uh, sure," Soos nodded uncomfortably, "you just let the customers know how much they owe you, right?"

"Something like that. You could probably just make up any number you'd like they'll still hand you money," Wendy said, grabbing her bike and helmet outside and riding off, "see you guys in a bit!"

"Speaking of customers," Mabel turned to Soos, the lack of mentioned individuals catching her notice finally, "where are all the tourists? There's usually a few here or there buying stuff."

"The season has yet to really begin," Soos explained, "and Mister Pines made sure to announce the re-furnishing of the building, so people are aware that the best time to come around is after the Mystery Shack is officially a Manor."

"Mystery Manor," Mabel repeated to herself, her eyes squinting. She wasn't entirely sure she liked the idea of changing her iconic childhood summer hangout into anything else than what it already was. Losing that silly title was like letting go of something dear to her crazy heart, and she sighed as she looked outside. "Well, I'm going to go see if my brother will want to come inside," she told Soos as she stepped outside, "Dipper isn't as gracious a host as I am."

Soos nodded in understanding as Mabel took her first steps outside. To her surprise, she could only locate a few cars before her: Grunkle Stan's classic El Diablo, Grenda's worn love-van, and her own bike. She blinked, and looked around a bit more. She almost circled the entire house looking for his boring black car, and only found Soos's worn pickup truck.

"Soos," Mabel called as she circled around and came into the shop once more, "did you see Dipper leave anywhere this morning?"

"Come to mention it... no," Soos declared with a curt nod, "no, I did not see him leave. But then again, his car wasn't here either." Mabel groaned aloud, surprised she hadn't expected this from her brother. She reasoned that he probably took the car into town, looking for his own quiet place to do his stupid research.

"Hey, you have your cell phone?" Mabel asked Soos, who nodded. "Can we call my brother now?"

* * *

Dippers head was resting against the wheel of his car when he heard the loud buzzing of a cell phone vibration. He jerked up, feeling the pattern of the wheel pressed into his skin, and he wiped away the drool on his lips and chin.

"Ah... dang it," he moaned, looking at the time. It was already eleven, and he was parked nearby the junkyard, overlooking part of a street in downtown Gravity Falls. His phone buzzed, and he reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled it out. While he saw Soos' name on the caller ID, he knew exactly who was calling him. He flipped it open, and answered, "Hey Mabel."

"You dingus!" Mabel called through the phone, loud enough for Dipper to wince.

"What? I'm a dingus!? You're the one who invited your friends over when we're in the middle of an investigation!" Dipper accused her grumpily.

"You didn't have to bail, like, off the face of the earth though!" Mabel retorted, "where are you? Timbuktu?"

"In town," Dipper sighed as he stretched his mouth lazily, "I was trying to watch for the book-thief."

"But what if something had gotten you?" Mabel asked, Dipper registering the fear in her voice.

"I was in my car, dude," he reassured her, "so... I'm fine. Eugh. You sounded like mom for a second there," Dipper groaned.

"Maybe 'cus you're being stupid!" Mabel scolded him, "promise you're at least going to come back soon, right?"

Dipper looked down the street. He couldn't get a perfect visual on the library. His parking was entirely free, which meant gravel by the side of the road, not by an actual prime spot. He wondered if he would get lucky, and the chance of that was too tempting.

"Yeah, I'm just going to stick around a bit longer, you know? See if he decides coming back today," Dipper told his sister firmly as he turned his car on.

"Oh c'mon dude. You don't really think he's going to return to the scene of the crime, do you?" Mabel asked him.

"He lost half his books, which he was willing to steal after being caught. And if I was a crazy magic, obsessed book collector," Dipper explained, "I wouldn't consider some teenagers renting the books for themselves. So yeah, I'd return to the scene of the crime, just to try checking them out." Mabel sighed loudly. Dipper could almost feel her resting a palm of her hand onto her face. "Just chill for an hour, okay? I'll be back."

"Fine. You better," Mabel said defiantly," or I'll never let down that I can kick butt better than you!" She added teasingly.

"Wha- I can- you- fine! Whatever," Dipper growled and hung up.

Dipper grasped the wheel and spun it as he left the gravel parking lot, and turned right, towards the town's inner workings. He scowled as he looked around, still annoyed with Mabel's intent on letting him know how she supposedly could fight much better than he could. He rolled his eyes, his own thoughts betraying what he knew was true; she was truly talented at the martial art stuff.

He had witnessed her talents as he watched how high she had been able to kick at the Shapeshifter two days ago. Looking back though, he wondered if it had been the Shapeshifter who had done that insane mid-air acrobatic. It didn't matter, he argued to himself, turning down a street that lead to the library. If the Shapeshifter could do it, so could she.

Mabel had always been, and always would be, an utter ham. Dipper had joked that was what made her and Waddles so compatible, when the pig had lived with them years ago. It inclined her to brag and boast about the silliest and most ridiculous things, brazenly excited for anything she could flaunt to her brother. He knew that she meant no harm, usually, but it did grate on him.

"I can fight," Dipper told himself as he had the car parked by the spot the previous day, and turned the engines off, "I've fought multi-bear! I survived Rumble. I... ugh," he sifted his hands through his hair as he growled. It didn't make sense- he knew perfectly well he could perform just as well as her, and had done so before. So why did it annoy him to hear it rubbed in his face when he held evidence to the contrary?

Dipper took a nice breath, long breath and closed his eyes. These were the kinds of thoughts that had lead him to spend nearly an entire weekend, all forty-eight hours, practicing chess until he was certain he would not be beaten for a coming tournament. Truthfully, he didn't lose the match that following Monday, but at the cost of hardly remembering what strategy he used. The fifteen year old sitting in his car considered that, maybe, he should monitor his competitive nature.

"Only if she does too," Dipper told himself aloud, as he scanned around for a moment. The spot he was parked in was only permitted for thirty minutes, so he had some time to lay in wait. He wouldn't have to for very long, as luck turned out. Dipper looked into his side mirror, and he spotted the same person, with the very same hood on top of his head. "Bingo," Dipper grinned.

He sat in his car, very still, watching the man walk inside the shop casually. His mind raced. He considered calling for back up- in truth, he had really just wanted Mabel to clean up the room by the time he returned, and waiting for this hooded figure had been a rouse. But a chance like this wasn't one that would present itself often. The last time he had approached this person, the man outright ran for it. Dipper reasoned that maybe he could grab this person on his own.

"Okay, fighting time, yeah," Dipper breathed heavily, his nerves starting up, "here we go. He comes out, and I jump him. Just do that punchy stuff that- yeah, or a kick. Maybe just tackle him and, yeah," Dipper let his mind zoom through scenarios at light speed, unable to come to a stead conclusion as to what to do. His mind settled on nothing, and the minutes passed as he worried about his tactics.

"Just get the dude," Dipper told himself, staring at the library's entrance. Finally, after what could have been the entire time he was allowed to remain parked in that spot, the figure emerged. He appeared livid; his hands were shaking and his mouth was quivering. The man turned away, apparently muttering to himself. Dipper smiled at himself as he was certain the reason the man was so upset was their renting of the books. Dipper switched his car on, and turned it around to follow the man.

The hooded man's pace was slow, and it pained Dipper. He worried that another car would come to rest behind Dipper's, and the whole cover would be blown. The stalking teenager could feel a faint trail of sweat building on the back of his neck and hands, staring at the back of the head of the hooded man.

Without warning, the man stopped and stood rigid and upright. Dipper's foot naturally struck the break roughly, and the tires squeaked loudly. Dipper swore loudly, aware that if he had once any cover, it was now blown entirely. The man remained standing still, right by the entrance of an alley, and turned and walked down it.

"Stupid," Dipper grinned as he turned the car to park by the entrance, "no where out of this one," he said, noticing the tall wooden fence at the end of the alley. Stepping out of his car, he started around the end, aware that each step he took brought him closer to an impending encounter with a potentially dangerous, but fearful, man.

A wooden two-by-four was sitting in a pile of trash by the side of a building. Dipper was confident he had this man trapped, but he would play it safe. Lifting the large wooden stick up, he stepped forward, one well placed step after another. His eyes gazed around, the darkness of the buildings shadows dimming his sense of sight. A corner by the left building came closer, and Dipper rounded it at a distance. There, in the corner, the man in the hood had pressed himself against the wall, facing him.

"W-where are the b-books?" the person asked, his voice trembling in what could have been a nervous tick. "Where d-d-did you t-take the books?"

"You don't get to know that," Dipper said, his two-by-four readied at his shoulder, "what you're going to do is step out, and come with me. I have some questions that you-"

"I... I," the man began, his head trembling. Dipper finally saw the face of the person, and he seemed anything but scared. His lips were twisted in fury, and his brows were furrowed in anger. "I w-w-won't answer to SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Dipper took a step back; a mistake that cost him the chance to attack. Something hard and metal slammed into his gut, and actually lifted him back and into the air, pinning him with it's force against the wall behind him. He gasped for air and looked down. A glowing broken metal pipe floated evenly in the air, holding him in place as he struggled for breath. He looked back to the man, who's hood had fallen past his face slightly.

The blonde man held a hand forward, apparently controlling the position of the glowing metal pipe. His eyes were wide and his mouth fell open, and he began to smile wickedly, laughing manically.

"Oh, how has th-the mighty fallen!" the man stated cruelly," I, I think that you had a great idea," the no-longer hooded man stated, stepping forward. He bent lower, still keeping his one hand forward and open, pinning Dipper to the wall as he struggled for breath and freedom. The man lifted up the two-by-four with his free hand, and gave it a strong grip. "You see- uh... oh," the man suddenly found himself struggling to grip the two-by-four," th-that's a bit heavier than, aagh," the man tried giving the two-by-four a swing through the air, "you, man! This is heavy! You lack a certain... umph."

The man made his powerful swing. Dipper cringed and cried out, unable to defend himself at all. There was a clunk aside the wall next to him, and Dipper opened his eyes slowly. The man had missed Dipper's head entirely, having the blunt object bounce off the wall.

"Oh, come on!" the man growled, and tried again. He was entirely limited to his one hand, and Dipper, despite being pinned to the wall, watched incredulously as the man was unable to properly swing around a stick made out of wood. "How do you work th-these things?!" the man shouted angrily. Dipper couldn't even take him seriously, watching him fail again and again to attack a pinned down teenager against a wall. It was almost pathetic.

"You try turning it off and on again?" Dipper managed to gasp. The man, stunned at Dipper's comment, tossed aside the blunt wooden object with a growl.

"How about I turn you off and on again, huh?" the man growled, motioning the metal pipe away.

"That's what she sai- Gah!" Dipper fell forward, gasping for air as his lungs finally expanded again after a near solid minute of little oxygen.

"Teenagers," the man said lazily, rolling his eyes as he whipped his hand in mid-air, and the pipe swung itself against Dipper's head. The teen had little time to react, and after a dull pain rung his skull, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell into darkness.

* * *

Mabel sat on her bed, tossing the blue special battery into the air with a twirl. It had been two hours since she had called Dipper, nearing three, and she was growing anxious. Dipper was many things- over analytical, melodramatic, and a smarty pants, but late? He was never late.

"C'mon bro," she craned her head out the window, looking down the driveway. It had been a while since Candy and Grenda had left happily, excited at the prospect at more chances to catch up like they had before. Mabel had been excited too, but their departure meant he had been late. A late Dipper made Mabel nervous.

She bounced herself off the bed and, the battery in hand, marched out of the room. She nearly stomped down the stairs as she headed towards the deck. Mabel passed Wendy without a word, who had only just returned from whatever task she had set out to do earlier that morning. Mabel didn't notice the redheads spirited hello, instead sullenly walking out, moving to the worn wooden bench outside.

She slouched forward, resting her chin on a supporting hand. Mabel held that crazy blue battery ahead, peering deep within its mystic glow. Her mind poured over the possibilities. Aliens, faeries, futuristic weaponry, a tool from the future itself, even a kind of god-seed popped into her head. A sigh escaped her lips and she let her hand fall aside, and she fell back against the seat.

Mabel was not good at holding feelings in. Her emotions hit hard, hit true, and she never held them back. It was difficult, sitting there, when her mind and heart kept feeling that Dipper was in trouble. Yet, for all she knew, he was just being a jerk; taking his time to prove a point or something along those lines. Her thoughts trailed back, and she heard her master's words spoken months ago.

"You want to know why," her spectacular teacher had asked her, "you can't find balance?"

"Of course I do!" Mabel had responded, frustrated and tired at her lack of improvement.

"Well, Mabel," her teacher had graced her to use her first name in training, a privilege apparently not given to many, "I hate to let you down here, but this isn't a quick answer, and it's also one I can't tell you."

"Whaaat?!" Mabel had cried loud, plopping on the sparring mat with trembling lips," but... does that mean I'm done? Have I failed this test? Is this a test?!" Mabel continued to asked in growing panic.

"Mabel, no! Relax," her teacher had sat in front of her as well, "what that means is you have reached a point now where you need to begin to ask yourself a serious question."

"A question? A question to answer a question?" Mabel remembered asking, "that sounds dumb." She had received a quick bop on her head for the smart comment.

"Mabel," her teacher had continued, a steady, truthful voice calling to even as she sat down on the worn wooden bench by the Mystery Manor, "you need to know what it is you really, really seek through The Paths."

"What I want," Mabel said aloud as she looked down the dirt road before her feet," what I want."

She pushed herself from the seat, and approached the grass to the side of the road. There was a particularly nice spot near the woods she spotted. With a satisfied sigh, she dropped herself to sit cross-legged on the ground. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"What I want," she sighed slowly, letting the breath flow from her lips. This was, above everything else she had ever learned in her study of The Paths, the hardest for her. Meditation; to sit quietly and mutter to herself a supposedly fundamental part of her life until she received an answer at a random point in her life was beyond difficult. Her mind, hyperactive as it was, would glance off her thoughts and consider something else, usually unrelated.

She loved that about herself. It made putting together projects, and essays, and all sorts of collective assignments for school that much more exciting. She would end up knowing more than even the assignment called for. Granted, her father enjoyed pointing out that her understanding of these things was mostly unimportant. She had discovered the pants sizes of President Lincoln and his cabinet before knowing their important dates during the civil war.

She grimaced and groaned angrily. She had done it again; the thoughts trailing along to past projects and her own past. She rubbed her temple, wondering if there was ever any hope to herself as a student of the amazing skills she had seen her master complete. If Dipper thought the idea of The Paths was cool, wait until she got really good.

"Mabel?" the voice of Soos called from the side of the building behind Mabel.

"Hi Soos," she called behind her, not standing to face him, but remaining seated.

"Oh, whoa, what are you doing?" Soos asked as he approached her, his tool belt jostling its inhabitants.

"I'm doing ninja stuff," Mabel said mystically, "meditation, Soos. I'm meditating."

"Whoa, for real? Hambone, that sounds sweet," Soos said excitedly as he rounded her, walking to be in front of her. "So you, what, just sit down and hum a lot?"

"No, silly," Mabel told him as she looked up, "you think upon the ancient and deep philosophical question-"

"The meaning of life?!" Soos quickly blurted out, "oh dude, you have no idea how often I have that float through my head, you know. Like, at least six times a day."

"Not that one," Mabel corrected her friend, "but instead, 'what do you want'?"

"What... do I want?" Soos repeated. He nodded, stroking his chin as he contemplated, and eventually came to sit next to Mabel, "oh man, you weren't kidding, this one is a toughie. Can I say... a good sandwich?"

"Soos, this has to be fo' serious-ness," Mabel explained seriously, "The Paths is an... well, it's not ancient at all, but it is a study of ourselves... and stuff. And if we want to know us, we should know what we want, right?"

"Wow. Okay, I'm so doing this with you. How do I start?" Soos asked excitedly, putting his legs in crisscross pattern.

"You sit like that, nice and upright," Mabel informed him, "and then you think about what you really want. In life? I think?" Mabel had to guess, as the entire question itself was so open ended and vague that she still struggled to understand it.

"Right. Here we go, thinking time," Soos nodded to himself, prodding his hat around, "Soos the thinker is here to stay. Stay awhile for thinkin'," he said, and fell quiet. Mabel smiled and peered at him for a moment, and let her own eyes close, trying to ponder on her own needs from her study of the Paths. "Thiiiinkiiiing," Soos muttered, catching Mabel off guard, who popped open an eyelid to glance at him. "Think, think, think," Soos continued as his pitch grew higher, and Mabel fell from her readied position to watch him grow puffy red in the face.

"Soos, you can breathe you know," Mabel informed him.

"OH-" Soos gasped and heaved loudly," oh man! I was beginning to think that this thing was impossible! Ha!" Soos chuckled at his mistake, "so, was I doing it right?"

"Uh... try doing that 'thinking thing' inside your head, you know?" Mabel tried being gentle with Soos, who nodded again with excitement; the man-child eager to learn something mysterious and cool. Mabel, with a moment hesitation to check with Soos, readied herself and once again let her mind drift on that same thought.

Soos then began to hum. This wasn't a problem at first, as he held on level note while he sat there. Eventually it changed- it became a mild and slow beat, and he wasn't terribly on key with the tune: a theme from a television show. Mabel sighed and scratched her scalp as she listened, finally looking to her friend.

"Soos, it's best to be, you know, silent," Mabel finally piped up.

"Oh! Whoops, I guess I blew it again, didn't I? Sorry dude," Soos chuckled as he rubbed the back of the neck," you know, this sort of thing sure is difficult."

"You're telling me," Mabel sighed. Perhaps it was her own inflections to her inability to meditate that got the better of her, because Soos blinked and looked disheartened.

"Oh. I'm sorry Mabel," Soos said, removing his hat and twisting it nervously. She whipped her head and stared at him.

"Huh? It's okay, Soos," She said assumingly.

"Well, you know, you're trying hard for this stuff, and here I am doing the theme of Afternoon Rider. I'm a total distraction, aren't I?" Soos had beaten himself up quickly, and Mabel hated it. She grasped his shoulder, and leant him closer.

"Soos, my bud," she said firmly, "don't even beat yourself up like that."

"But I am a distraction, aren't I?"

"Soos, you know, if I was doing this right, I wouldn't even know if you were singing next to me," Mabel admitted solemnly, "that's the idea behind this sort of thing- like you sort of lock down and just focus on thinking and stuff."

"Oh... so you're the one at fault for being distracted?" Soos asked, puzzled at the turn-about, "that doesn't seem right."

"Sort of. I mean, Soos, you have to be quiet, but still, I shouldn't be getting distracted with you if I was really doing this right," Mabel admitted, "like my master. She can do it even when she lives in the city- windows open and everything! Car horns going off and people yelling like jerks; it doesn't bother her one bit!"

"Wow. She sounds like a swell lady," Soos admitted with awe.

"She is my master and teacher," Mabel reminded Soos with a grin, "she usually says that meditating on stuff helps clear your head."

"Something bugging you, then?" Soos questioned her.

"It's Dipper," Mabel sighed, holding up the blue battery for the two the view, "he said on the phone he'd be here in an hour. Like, three hours ago. The jerk is going to be all mad if I go check on him, but I'm mad at myself for not making sure he's okay."

"Three hours is a while. But," Soos added to Dipper's defense, "Private investigations are a timely and day-consuming process. One must always be ready for anything, including delays."

Mabel sighed and nodded, and gave the blue battery a nice toss in the air, having it spin around rapidly. As it landed in Mabel's hand, she yelped loudly. A spark jolted out, and suddenly, it was humming loudly, the light emanating from it brighter and more solid.

"... and to think, some little punk could get in my way," a voice stated from the cylinder. Soos and Mabel stared at the object, their eyes wide as they turned their ears in attention.

"Where... where am I?" a familiar voice called through the cylinder, and Mabel gasped. That was absolutely Dipper who was speaking. "What did you do to me?" Dipper's voice demanded.

"Just a bump on th-the head, kid," the other voice stated," the same kind you would have given me, I'm sure."

"Dude, let me go," Dipper stated from the cylinder. Mabel stared at the object. It had somehow become a kind of radio-transmitter, communicating events from a distant place.

"Oh, r-right. The kid tied up, bleeding from the head, and totally and utterly out of control here demands to be let go. Nice t-try, hero," the other voice grew louder, as if he was approaching the source of recording.

"Oh no!" Mabel squeaked, the feeling in her body becoming faint and distant. The list had been entirely the opposite to what she had needed to hear. Dipper was hurt, captive, and the man sounded happy about this. He was pleased to have captured Dipper; it was as if she could feel a horrible grin speaking these words. Mabel tried speaking, but Soos quieted her, pointing on the glowing battery.

"What are you doing here? What's with all the crazy books anyway?" Dipper's voice demanded, and the other laughed. "That's... not particularly funny."

"It is, though! I d-don't even know what it is I'm doing here," the man answered, humor in his voice, "I'm just checking up on a lead."

"Wh- a lead?" Dipper's voice repeated.

"Yeah. Something of a notification I was made aware of, and I need to check up on it. Y-you and that other one, the g-girl," the voice accused Dipper, "should have known better to come back looking for me. You even saw the k-kinds of material I was researching, and yet all you could do was... come back?" the voice laughed again.

"They'll come for me soon," Dipper informed him strongly, "and we're going to have a heck of an interrogation for you."

"Yes," the voice cooed dangerously, and there was a rushing sound and Dipper grunted loudly and coughed a few times," I'm trembling. Absolutely scared for my life. They'll know exactly how to open the hidden gate next to the Garbage Dump. That's, after all, just common knowledge to look for a little glowing orange button cleverly hidden under a fake banana peel, isn't it?"

"... you don't have to be a dick about it, you know," Dipper told the man.

"We have to save him!" Mabel cried out," he could be torturing him!"

"Dang right we do!" Soos agreed," let me get a baseball b-"

"WHO'SE THERE?!" a voice bellowed from the cylinder," WHO ARE YOU?! REVEAL YOURSELF!" Mabel and Soos slammed their mouths shut. They hadn't anticipated that the Cylinder could have been a two-way communicator. "Who... who was that!? One of them sounded familiar!" the voice supposedly accused Dipper.

"...What voices?" Dipper sounded amused. This resulted in a loud whack and Dipper gasped, sighing in pain, "you're just going crazy."

"This is something you're doing! How're you doing this?!" the frantic voice demanded before yelling. The small battery's light faded away, and the two were left sitting their staring with wide horrified eyes.

"Oh man... Dipper's in trouble!" Soos managed to state aloud, worry pouring through his voice.

Mabel remained still, all the energy being siphoned into her mind. She felt a sickening weight deep within herself, a dark and horrible ball of condense fear. She sat there, fearing the kind of harm that could befall her brother. She couldn't let him be hurt, she refused to. A spark had ignited the horrible fear, and she stood, her fists clenched.

"I'm going to save him," She told Soos," you coming, Soos?"

"I won't leave my buddy to some crazy magic-nutto," Soos nodded and stood up as well.

"It's Dipper-rescuing time," Mabel announced, and turned for the door. She and the larger man knew exactly what was needed. She turned and ran back through the gift shop, stunning the reading redhead by the counter.

"Wha?" Wendy asked as Mabel charged back through once more, this time with her keys in her hand. Soos had also grabbed his backpack and toolkit, and turned with Mabel to leave.

"Off to rescue Dipper!" Soos informed Wendy. At the mention of Dipper in need of such actions, she whipped her feet around and stood up, clearly ready to help.

"Where?" she asked them solidly.

"Somewhere in town," Mabel told them, "by the garbage dump."

Wendy's impressive aura of action seemed dulled at the revealing of the location. Mabel was sure of what she saw- the redhead had seemed nervous, her eyes loosing focus at the mention of town. That didn't stop her though, as she reached for her bike helmet with vigor.

"What's got him?" Wendy demanded.

"A person. We caught him trying to steal books that have old spells in them," Mabel explained, and Wendy nodded.

"Right, then lets-"

"Hey, Wendy! You seen Soos? I need you two for pulling out the super-rusted nails under the new staircase. You there?" Grunkle Stan called. Wendy turned to the sound, and peered to the source.

"You two go," Wendy sighed, "I'll make up a story for you Soos. Just be safe, and make sure he's okay," Wendy told her friend and co-worker.

"You got it!" Soos diligently said, and after a jab with Mabel's elbow, he corrected himself quietly, "you got it."

* * *

Dipper watched his captor pace, staring at Dipper in return. Since the sounds of Mabel and Soos literally popped out of no-where, the man had not taken his eyes away from Dipper. He had also stopped his occasional beatings, looking uncertain to approach Dipper. That was, to Dipper's credit, a stroke of good work on his part; warning him he may or may not have means to contact others.

In truth, he had no idea as to what really those sounds had been. They were certainly Mabels gasp, and he was sure the other sounded like Soos; but how did they get in here? And if they were in here, why didn't they rescue him? This hadn't sounded like a phone on speakers, but a distant but loud conversation happening in the vicinity.

"Look dude," Dipper started again, sighing at a particularly contemptible glare from the older man, "why don't you just tell me what's going on? This could be a big miscommunication, for all we know."

The man raised his eyebrows, and chuckled. Dipper cursed under his breath as the man turned away, leaving him alone. It had been a lie- Dipper was positive this person was not someone they would ever want to help, and wasn't here for the benefit of humanity. Looking around in his pool of light, Dipper could see several melting candles around him and what appeared to be several small clay bowls. He was on a rock of some sort, entirely tied up and unable to budge, except forward, towards the unknown enemy. The most he could make out was the faint sound of water in the distance.

"What do you want with me?" Dipper tried again heatedly.

"Originally, nothing," the man called from beyond the clarity of the light above Dipper, "but my having you here is rather fortunate. You just poked your nose into the wrong business, probably for the last time."

Dipper swallowed. The man's voice, like it had been when not desperately angry or aggressive, presented a man of business. It was as if he had this type of conversation on a daily basis, speaking to people desperate for answers and freedom while he did whatever he was planning.

"Speaking of which," the man uttered, and his steps grew closer and louder. The man once again appeared into the light. Hands reached forward and tightly grasped Dipper's shoulders, pulling him up and away from the light. His legs were bound just loosely enough for him to shuffle along with the mild push that the man gave, now behind him.

Dipper finally could see around him. The surroundings were impressive; a sprawling cavern deep in the earth, strewn with wires and several pieces of furniture. There was a collection of crates with strange materials poking out, ranging from jars of eyeballs to a mummified leg of something similar to a cow. Above him, water dripped from stalactites, splashing into the large body of water before them.

The patch of dry earth they were on overlooked a drop of nearly fifteen feet to an underground pond, roughly a hundred feet or so in diameter. Dipper wondered what the sound of rushing water he could hear originated from, and to his far left were a series of open drainage pipes. One in particular opened up at waist height, and was easily wide enough for someone to fall through.

"For the bodies," the man grinned wickedly as he spotted Dipper staring at the pipe, "it leads out to the lake, and I have yet for anyone to notice anyone missing."

"You- you've hurt people!?" Dipper tried rounding on the man, but was thrown down at the first struggle he gave. Dipper felt a kick to his chin, and groaned, looking back up at the man above him.

"Get up. I could k-kick all day, you know," the man told him bitterly. Dipper started standing back up, and the second he was on his feet, the same rough hands grabbed the collar of his vest and pulled him close to the edge of the water. A stone surface, presumably a former stalagmite cut to resemble a blocky table, was where Dipper was pushed to.

"Stay put, or I'll toss you into the water. Looks pretty deep, doesn't it?" The man warned with his nasty grin. As Dipper stared hatefully back, the man spun, and started collecting books and materials. Dipper watched at first, and then he noticed the block of rock he was atop wasn't smooth. It had divots and makings on the surface that made some sort of pattern. He couldn't see the entire thing, but he was starting to wonder if he was laying on top of a pentagram.

"You... are you a Satanist or something!?" Dipper demanded, and the man burst out laughing.

"Satanists aren't the only ones who use pentagrams," the man uttered with amusement, "Pegans, Wiccans, Druids- pretty much half the cults of the world use the pentagram. Good eye, though, but bad guess."

"Just what are you supposed to be then? What do you want?" Dipper yelled at him in defiance, feeling the bite of the binds on his limbs. The man's amused stare faltered, and he looked to Dipper with an almost considering stare.

"One word, kid. Power," the man stated strongly, "I'm looking for power."

"Why?! Why does every nut-job want to become a crazy ruler of the world or whatever," Dipper said aside, shaking his head in the realization that he was dealing with another person fixated with domineering people. His thoughts were cut short though, as the man chuckled.

"I don't care about ruling people, you fool," he told Dipper, a smirk worthy of any villian stretched across his face.

"Fool? Really, dude," Dipper retorted to the guy, "this isn't the fifties. You don't use 'fool' when you're trying to be scary."

"Shut up!" the man yelled," I, a master of spellcraft, won't be told how to speak to anyone!"

"Spellcraft?" Dipper said, considering the books and strange supplies laid out around them. "You... you're a wizard or something, aren't you?"

"Wizard? No. I'm not a pretty little book writer," the man started," I'm an applier of the arcane."

"Uh, sure, whatever dude, whatever you think," Dipper rolled his eyes at the vague answer.

"I'm a warlock, punk," The man stated with a spray of spit at Dippers direction.

"Warlock?" Dipper said more to himself than to his captor.

"You're not deaf, right?" the warlock teased meanly, continuing to collect more material.

Dipper flipped the mental pages in his mind, desperately combing for the term 'warlock'. He wondered if the journal had anything at all to relate to this man, but the journal was far away, safe in the Mystery Manor. He knew warlock was a type of person who associated with magic and spells, and that, to his personal knowledge in games like 'Strongholds and Serpents', warlocks were magic casters who dealt with dangerous kinds of magic. This guy had already shown he can levitate and use objects with a motion of his hands, and it easily had pinned Dipper to the wall in mid air.

"What's the difference between a warlock and a wizard, exactly?" Dipper asked, trying to get the better of the person with plain curiosity.

"What's it to you?" the warlock asked, standing up to stare at Dipper, having been bent over a collection of material. Dipper merely shrugged and the magic user relented, "it's all about what we want."

"What you want?" Dipper repeated.

"A wizard is a scientist of the arcane. They invent and study the elements of magic. Warlocks are a little more... p-practical," the warlock added with a small grin, and Dipper looked to him with confusion, "it means we want to mess some faces up with this stuff."

"Magical... bullies," Dipper said to himself, entirely unimpressed with how it sounded, "you really thought that learning magic and curses was a better answer than working out an punching people? Man, and I thought I had a hard time gaining muscle."

"Speaking of muscles," the man said, bringing over his collection to Dipper, who lifted his head to keep an eye on him, "I'll be needing one of yours for a bit. It d-doesn't matter which, really. Say, what do you think about blood? Does it make you feel faint?"

"What!?" Dipper gasped, as the man quickly pushed Dipper slightly aside, lifting his arm up. Without another warning, Dipper felt a quick white hot gash across his forearm, and he shouted. The warlock had just cut into his arm, and he could feel blood trickling down his side. "God! Agh!" Dipper gasped as the injury took its effect on him. Dipper wouldn't let himself appear any weaker than he already was, and he buried his pain deep in his mind.

Dipper glared at the assailant, who watched the injury on Dipper's arm. He seemed fixated on the spot of harm, his already pale face growing even whiter. "Ah... okay. J-just collect the blood. Juuuust collect it, remember to breathe, okay," the warlock told himself said as he timidly raised the bowl to Dipper's cut arm, letting the warm blood drip in. The unnamed warlock then looked to Dipper, annoyance in his eyes. "What?" he asked Dipper.

"I think you're more freaked out about this than I am," Dipper spat back, furious and scared that this man had taken to cutting him while tied up.

"I- well- at least I'm not all in a bind... HA! I like that," the warlock laughed forcefully, quickly turning and lifting a bowl from the altar, "that was a good joke."

"Go screw yourself," Dipper shouted as the man walked away to a table, bringing his supplies and fresh blood with him. Dipper could still feel the blood running down his arm. The cut wasn't deep, but with enough time he could become faint. "That's... all you're going to do?" Dipper asked after a moment, and the warlock not turning to face him.

"For now," the warlock stated, "I may need more of your blood later. Just don't go and bleed out and die on me, would you p-please?"

Dipper growled loudly, hating the lack of care this person had for anything other than himself. He was a true bastard, and Dipper could only visualized the amount of hurt he wanted to put on this man.

Being tied to the flat object, Dipper could do little in terms of vengeance. His eyes remained fixed on the other man, and he watched as he began to pull together a list of ingrediants. A larger bowl was laid before him, and he began to pour ingredients in, including Dipper's blood. The man was muttering words as he stirred, a language Dipper could not understand. It sounded harsh and quick, an almost northern European sounding dialect.

Time passed, and Dipper's breathing became heavy. He felt light headed. The back of his shirt and his rear were all soaked in his own blood, having trickled down as time passed. His eyes remained focused, staring at the man who was still working on the bowl before him. Dipper, in the meantime, had attempted to wriggle out of the ropes while the man was distracted.

He wondered what had happened earlier. He knew that he had heard Mabel and Soos' voices, but he couldn't figure out how, or why. Looking around, he noticed the abundance of open pipes on the ceiling and the various walls, even an opening far off that must lead to the surface. None of them seemed feasible for someone to be lurking around, watching the two of them. Had Mabel and Soos been nearby, they would have tried to get him up and out already.

Dipper then spotted, in his backpack, just sticking out from one of the pockets, the small blue cylinder. It gave off that faint little white light as usual, humming gently in the darkness. His mind pondered; could it have been that? Maybe it was some strange communication device of sorts? He hadn't noticed any kind of way to operate it- no buttons or knobs rested on its surface, so he hadn't considered anything other than a type of container.

"Finally," a voice called from the ritual table that the warlock stood by. Dipper turned to the man and realized something important had happened. A dim orange light was shining from the bowl, illuminating the warlocks face. His face was stretched with a horrible grin, grim excitement at his operant accomplishment. "No hiding from me, not this time."

The warlock lifted the bowl up, and poured the liquid material into a small pewter colored cup. to Dipper's disgust, he lifted the glass and drained the entire contents, including his blood with a single drink. Dipper groaned, and watched in horror, uncertain to the spells intended effects.

The warlock placed the glass back down, gasping loudly. He clutched his mouth, his eyes bulging. Even from his distance, Dipper could tell this man appeared sick- sweat started falling from him and burped loudly, and gagged.

"Ugh. That was horrible," the warlock shook his head quickly, and looked to his hands. Nothing was happening. The warlock turned around, looking at the bowl in confusion, "so... what d-do I-"

Without warning, he gasped, and a blast of wind and light shook the cave. The warlock began to float mid-air, his eyes glowing with the same orange light that the bowl had, but it shone out like a search light. His entire body radiated that same color, and he stared blankly above him.

"Holy..." Dipper began, uncertain as to what would happen next. This kind of event was exactly on the opposite to what he had hoped would happen during this investigation, and he was partially to blame.

To Dipper's astonishment, he was able to peer past the glowing light of the levitating Warlock, and see to the cavern entrance. Two heads had just popped out, and looked towards the Warlock. A larger man, and a long brown haired girl stared in bewilderment.

"Guys!" Dipper tried calling to them, trying to minimize his desire to shout them over to him. Mabel quickly spotted him, and motioned to Soos Dipper's location. The two, after a moment to exchange a word, darted from the entrance to hide behind a long stretch of stalagmites. They ran between each one, and got closer and closer, avoiding as much detection from the floating man as possible.

"Dipper!" Mabel whispered anxiously as they ran to him, and she noticed the red liquid behind him, "oh my god! Your arm!" she held a hand to her mouth.

"It's a cut, but I'll live," Dipper told her, trying to calm her quickly; her eyes had already began to shimmer in what would be tears," just get me out and we can stop that maniac!"

"Hold on a sec bud," Soos told him, retrieving a small pair of shears, and began to remove each of the ropes on Dipper, "we need to wrap up that arm of yours. It's still bleeding a little there."

"After we get that guy!" Dipper hissed and pointed to the floating warlock," he's freaking crazy!"

"Who's more important?" Mabel yelled at Dipper, who blinked and recoiled from her burst," you?! Or jerk-face over there!?"

Dipper studied his sister face closely. Her mouth quivered as she stared back, a whole mess of emotions racing through her head. Dipper couldn't help but let the weight of responsibility crash down onto him. It was his fault for not coming back when they wanted him to, and he approached the Warlock alone. Not only was he hurt, his sister was being torn up about it.

"Gah!" a voice called from the floating warlock, and the three whipped their heads to face the now descending man. The warlock clutched his head, grumbling at first. Then he turned from them, and shouted, slamming his fists on the table, scattering the remaining contents to the floor. "TH-THATS IMPOSSIBLE! That's impossible! How c-could there be soo many high level energy signatures!? What c-could have such an output to cloud my targeting abilities, and still move about like... like a..."

The warlock stalled. His entire rant had been loud enough for Soos and Mabel to continue to unravel and get Dipper to his feet. That was until the end of the warlock's rant, when he began to think more and speak less. Dipper had let off one loud, pained sigh as he got back to his feet. It had been loud enough for the warlock to slowly turn, his eyes wide and full of fury. Mabel, Soos, and Dipper couldn't think of a safe place to hide- the closest hide-behind able stalagmite was too far away to quietly scamper behind, and Dipper was too far out of his bindings to appear nonchalant.

Finally the warlock let his gaze fall onto the three, and his fury vanished instantly. He blinked, not entirely sure he was seeing well. He even looked back to his empty bowl, and scratched his eyebrows.

"Are.. are you real?" he asked to the three.

"I think a more interesting question is 'what is real, if anything'?" Soos reposted cleverly. Mabel and Dipper turned and looked at Soos incredulously. The warlock blinked, and his expression went from confusion to rage so quickly it could have been missed with a single blink of the eye. "Oh. Wrong answer. Shoot!" Soos gulped.

The warlock made his move. Taking the same dagger he had used to cut Dipper, he held it in his left hand, and it glowed- a strange series of runes appearing along its surface. The knife then levitated, and Dipper shouted, "Watch out!"

Soos dived out of the way just in time, throwing himself flat on the ground to avoid the flying dagger. It soared like an arrow and struck a stalactite, splitting it into pieces. Mabel had dived over her brother, shielding him from any potential harm. As soon as the dagger had fallen away, no longer glowing, she tugged and pulled Dipper down and behind the table, away from harm.

"I'm fine!" Dipper told her, and shook his head towards the warlock, "Get him!"

Mabel turned her gaze towards the man, who was busy shuffling through a bag, pulling out a long metal chain. She nodded to her brother and stood. Soos was pushing himself off the ground as the two faced the warlock.

The warlock chuckled as he gave them a quick eye, his hands busy running over the length of the chain. The same runes appeared along them, and he grasped them with a deathly grip. The chains began to writhe and twist, acting alive and totally under the control of the devilish man standing across them.

With a roar, the man lunged his hands forward. Like a snake, the chains sprung ahead. Mabel was quick to dodge, and then run forward, barely running under the attack. Soos, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. The chains slammed into him and he was thrown back. He hit a large stalagmite, and the chains quickly made work to wrap themselves around him, tying him hard against the rock.

"Soos!" Mabel cried as she turned to check on her older friend, "You let my friend go!" Mabel shouted as she leapt up, and kicked at the man. He stepped back hastily, wearily looking at Mabel.

"You're the one... I heard your voice," the warlock angrily accused her, "you're th-the one who kept up with me at the library!"

"Are you the one who hurt my brother?" she demanded, in a way that even surprised her. There was no joke within her voice, not thought of pleasantry. If someone was going to mess with her brother, she would have a few things to say about it.

"Maybe?" he stated slyly, "Maybe not. He's sort of useless, you know- maybe he just slipped while I dragged him-"

Mabel was done, absolutely done listening to him. This guy was everything that she and her brother could hate about someone. She ran at him, and again made to kick at him, an impressively high spin in midair letting her land her foot near his head, He raised an arm to block, and was knocked aside. As he stumbled away, gasping, Mabel sneered; another person had, once again, underestimated her severely.

The warlock was quick to scramble back to his feet, and he motioned his hand above his head. A light ring hummed from elsewhere in the cave, and a dagger flew into his hands once again. Mabel let her reflexes do their work; leaping back as the warlock swung down with the bloodied dagger. He lunged at her, slashing and cutting at her as she stepped away, dodging each swipe, studying his movements.

Her mind was a buzz of thoughts and worries and fears, all jumbled together. It was as if each time she had the chance to perfectly lock down on this jerkwad of a guy, she would spot Dipper, barely moving, or Soos trying to pull himself free from his knot. The warlock, on top of it all, was desperately ferocious in his attacks: never relenting, never retreating, and never restraining.

It took a great deception on her part- a false move that distracted him one way while she moved another- to move in and twist his wrist aside. He gasped, instantly dropping the dagger. But she wasn't done. She landed three strong kicks into his core, kneeing his gut as hard as she could. He gasped as she pushed him away, falling to the ground while trying to stand up.

"Time to take a risk!" he shouted to himself, cradling his stomach. He suddenly bit down hard on his hand, causing Mabel to pause and groan. He had bitten hard enough to draw blood, and his eyes then shone again, the same orange color. He did not float this time, instead, facing Mabel as she slowly advanced, uncertain to what he had just done, aside from bite his hand.

She feigned a punch to one side, and struck the other. Like he knew exactly what her thoughts were, he anticipated, and blocked, and stuck her own face, smashing a fist against her cheek. Mabel gasped, turning away briefly. In the momentary cradling of her cheek, the warlock landed a strong kick on her back, shoving her against his table of ingredients. Mabel gasped, and turned, scowling at the man with glowing orange eyes.

"You won't get a hit on me again," the warlock told her confidently, "I hear your own th-thoughts like they were being written above your head."

Mabel growled, and stepped closer again, throwing more punches and deceptive strikes. Each time it amounted to nothing. Truly the warlock wasn't lying, because it was harder and harder to fight him; he predicted and reacted to each move she made regardless of her intent behind them. She grew frustrated and tired, physically worn with the many retaliations he had done to her. She couldn't stop, not with everyone's lives at stake.

A yell called behind the Warlock, who turned too late. Dipper had removed the last ropes and charged at the man with his back turned. Dipper wrapped two hands around him, holding his arms behind his back as they fell to the stony ground. Mabel ran closer, and tried peeling Dipper off of his assault on the warlock, who had furiously began to hit Dipper back.

After a moment of struggle, the Warlock stood and backed away, one of his eyes bruised. He gasped as much as the other two, his body heavy as he glared to them. His eyes flickered with orange light, his spell wearing out.

"You two... you don't know what kind of c-can of worms you just opened up," the warlock warned them, moving away from them. They countered his movements, following him as he back tracked to his stuff. They approached, and he whipped a hand towards Soos. "NO CLOSER!" he shouted angrily. They whipped their heads to Soos, who gasped as the chains grew taught.

"Stop! You're hurting him!" Mabel cried out, "You could kill him!"

"Better him th-than me," the warlock growled, "now, stay put, and nothing bad will happen to him."

The twins looked to Soos, who's wide eyes pleaded desperately for help as he gasped for air. There was nothing that could be done, not without possibly hurting their friend. The Warlock laughed, picking up his second backpack, filled with books he had collected and stolen, stepping backwards, his hand still at Soos.

"Now, next time, you won't stand in the way of a warlock, will you?" he warned them with a grin, and he made a motion with his hand. Dipper was, to Mabel's surprise, the first to react, and charged. The Warlock gasped, and his hand fell from Soos as he tried defending a huge uppercut from Dipper. The attack missed by a mile, but the Warlock had taken a wrong step.

"Uh, uh, uh!" the warlock gasped again and again, his arms waving wildly with the backpacks in his grip. He was stumbling back, and headed right for the massive pipe that was open, just above ground level. The back of his heel caught it, and he fell backwards. The man forgot the care about the packs, letting them fall back into the darkness as he extended his arms to catch either sides of the hole. "H-h-help me! Oh! I'm slipping!"

Mabel and Dipper hadn't even paid attention to his peril. They had run to Soos, and pried away the enchanted chains, which fell aside after the warlock fell to his doom, holding on for dear life. The three found their dangerous opponent barely holding on, and they shared a look.

"You know," Soos said, rubbing his stomach, which had been considerably squeezed in his containment, "I usually don't like the idea of abandonment with anyone, but this guy could be my candidate for the exception."

"I agree," Mabel nodded with a curt nod. "Dipper?" she asked to her brother, who stared at him angrily.

"You," Dipper growled, and approached. The warlock looked like he had back in the library- out of place and terrified, and Dipper continued, "so, you throw bodies down this drain, do you?"

"I-I-I-I just- It was a joke! I wanted to scare you!" the warlock was able to blurt out rapidly, his head shaking visibly in fear and the strain of keeping himself up," I'm sorry! I have a mission that was important! I need to discover the energy source or else-"

"You would have willingly killed me," Dipper told him with a deadly calm voice and the warlock stared fearfully at Dipper, "for this mission of yours."

The warlock had nothing to say to this. He opened and closed his mouth desperately, trying to speak, yet nothing but guttural sounds were made until one of his hands slipped. He slammed to one side of the pipe, still managing to hold on with his fingers. His feet slid on the interior, slimy and unclean, trying to push himself out. Dipper watched, his eyes lazily taking in the view. A man like this could go from domineering and cruel to helpless and pathetic from a simple trip of his feet.

"I won't stop!" the warlock suddenly told him, "I'll come back!"

"Yeah? We'll be waiting," Dipper assured him, and turned away. He didn't need to see the man as his fingers slipped and he fell into the endless darkness, shouting all the way down. He finally stopped in front of Mabel and Soos, tears in his eyes. "Should I have helped him?" Mabel rushed forward, grabbing her brother in a sweeping hug. They held one other tightly, reminding each other that they were finally there for each other.

* * *

"You kids could have been killed for crying out loud!" Grunkle Stan roared in the kitchen, leaning on the table as he stared at Dipper, the worse looking of the three to return.

Dipper didn't look to his Grand Uncle, instead watching the wrapping going around his arm from Wendy, who was quick to have medical supplies when Soos texted her as they left the secret cave. Mabel sat next to them, inspecting each measure Wendy took to wrap and clean the wounds.

"To be fair, this guy was nut-so, mister Pines," Soos told him, washing his hands in the sink, "it sounded like he was willing to hurt anyone. He could have gone after anyone!"

"He said he did," Dipper said quietly, "like he was proud of it or something."

"Didn't he say he was just lying?" Mabel asked.

"I don't know anymore," Dipper admitted, sighing deeply. He looked to the redhead, who was staring intently at her handiwork, "Thanks, Wendy."

"How does it feel?" she asked. He gave his arm a slow stretch. She had stitched, cleaned, and wrapped his entire cut like an expert. He actually smiled, shocked that his arm could feel as normal as it did.

"Great," he told her with a great grin, "man. You should be a doctor." Dipper chuckled with Mabel, and looked to the redhead. She seemed distant, a half smile on her lips as she lightly laughed with the two.

"Just don't do anything crazy for a few days. We can take those stitches out sooner than later," She winked at Dipper and stood up from her kneel, collecting her medical supplies as she left for the gift shop.

"Did I not tell you two to be careful around these kinds of people?!" Grunkle Stan rounded the table, facing Dipper directly, "what exactly should I tell your parents next time you go off like that and you come back in pieces?!"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel scolded him, "we are capable young fighters! We beat some jerk today who was using telekinesis and stuff!"

Dipper said nothing, staring at the floor with red cheeks. It hadn't crossed his mind once, during the entire ordeal, what would have happened had he died. He felt very warm in the face, and lowered himself in a shamed bow, sitting his face into a hand. Grunkle Stan sighed, and pulled out a chair, sitting next to the teenager.

"At least you won," Grunkle Stan admitted, "you got that to brag about, right?"

"We made another enemy today," Dipper stated darkly, looking to the floor.

"That's life, Dipper," Grunkle Stan wrapped one of his large, muscular arms around his grand-nephew, "you make some friends, and if you're anything like me, a hundred million more enemies. That's why we don't give up, ever. Right?"

Dipper finally let himself up, looking to his Grunkle. There was an approving stare coming from the elderly man. It was something Dipper rarely saw from his great uncle for anything, let alone directed at him. He may have done the stupid teenager risky maneuver, but it may have been worth getting that look from his Grunkle Stan.

"Thanks," Dipper sighed timidly.

"Don't mention it," Grunkle Stan told him with a firm pat on the back, "Seriously, don't. I don't want people thinking I go soft on anything. That includes you too, kiddo," Grunkle Stan rounded on Mabel, who pushed the side of his head back, and he chuckled. "Well, now that I have my handyman back, time to get cracking. Soos!" Grunkle Stan called, forgetting Soos was busy washing himself off by the sink.

"Yo!" Soos replied, having Stan nearly twirling around to face him.

"Oh! Uh, dry off and come with me. I think we left a few things loose on the stairs. We don't need any lawsuits, you know?" Grunkle Stan told him as the two departed.

"Ah, the feeling of accomplishment," Mabel said and smiled as she stood from her seat. Dipper gave her a tired smile, faded and worn, one covering up a lot of guilt. "What? Dipper, I know that look. What is it?" she asked him as he tried standing, making for the side door that lead outside.

"I... it's nothing," he admitted shyly.

"Psh! Yeah right!" Mabel retorted, following her brother outside, still lively and animated enough to bound ahead and walk backwards, facing him as he moved from the shack.

"It's just," Dipper rolled his eyes, "oh, I'm- ugh- I'm just mad."

"What for? We won, ya dummy!" Mabel reminded him with a big grin.

"I know... but I was stupid," Dipper said, sitting down in the grass, and letting himself lie down, staring at the still blue skies above, "I was just stupid, letting myself get messed up like that."

Mabel watched him, and decided to sit as well, dropping herself carefully down next to him. She watched him study the clouds, and the reflection brought her to also lie down, staring up at the sky.

"I wanted to prove," Dipper suddenly said, as if he had been piecing together a starting explanation to his actions, "I... that I could, you know, do this without needing any help."

"Prove to who?" Mabel turned from her spot, staring at him.

"You and Grunkle Stan, I guess," Dipper mumbled apologetically. Mabel gasped, and slapped his shoulder. "Ow! What!?"

"Why'd you think you need to prove yourself with us?" she asked, and before he could answer, she knew what he was going to say, "it's because we tease you? Dipper-"

"I know!" he called to the heavens, exhausted, clearly having gone through this discussion in his head, "It was just teasing! I shouldn't be taking it so seriously! I know!"

"Then why did you?" Mabel asked quietly.

"I don't know. I just wanted to remind myself that I could do that sort of thing, prove you two wrong," Dipper tried explaining aloud, "maybe I believed it first, and you guys just started... reminding me that."

Mabel sat next to him, looking at the blue skies and occasional white clouds that wisped away beyond the trees. Her mind reminded her that this wasn't her fault, as she believed. Yet, as was fated with her kinship with Dipper, she would feel guilty regardless how silly he had been. She had inadvertently pressured him into doing something stupid.

"You know," Mabel started, trying a new train of thought, "If you'd like, I could show you a thing or two about my stuff."

"Huh?"

"The Paths?" Mabel clarified, "you know, see if you really like it? I know I make it look like a totally crazy thing, but there's room for a dorky, thinks-too-much-about-his-actions, nerdy kind of guy in the training."

"You want to show me martial arts?" Dipper asked again, staring at his sister with a small, uncertain grin, "are you sure that's even allowed for your level of training, or whatever?"

"No idea," Mabel shrugged, "My master hasn't even considered the possibility I think. Otherwise, she'd try to tell me not to, or if I could."

"Probably because she thinks you'd want to brag and show it off as much as possible," Dipper told her with the faintest of smiles.

"Shut up, you," Mabel told him while sticking out her tongue. "So, whadda ya say, bro-man?"

Dipper finally rolled himself to sit upwards, staring into the dark woods before him. He had seen so much of what awaited deep inside those woods. He wondered what else would be out there, waiting for him and his sister. His injured arm gave a small twinge of pain, and he gave it a look. He didn't want injures like this every time they went out exploring and solving mysteries. Dipper grinned, knowing exactly what he wanted.

* * *

WHOO. What a doozy.

So, I want to re-iterate that this is not the standard level of light/dark that this series is going to have. This is maybe the darkest point of the story, so if you tolerated (or enjoyed) that, you'll like the rest of this. And yes, the Warlock we saw this day is not exactly done mucking around Gravity Falls.

So, before I go today, I wanted to thank you all. I have had a TON of positive reactions and encouraging remarks about this story so far, and you all have made me want to go further and further each chapter. So, thank you all. We're just getting started and I already feel like I've accomplished something for you all.

Anyhow, Seeya- (A giant lolipop the size of a truck slams through the roof of EZB's dorm, crushing him under it's weight and destroying the desk.)

Lollipop: There you go, children, now the story isn't as dark anymore.

Unseen Audience Entirely Comprised of Children: YAY!

* * *

**Qeb Txoilzh tfii obqrok. Xka eb'p dlfkd ql yb obxiiv pqfkhv.**


	8. A Mabel of Perspective: Part 1

The town of Gravity Falls was known for few things. To the rest of Oregon, it was simply a logging town with few inhabitants. The unusual case of anyone else knowing of the small town was because they knew someone who lived there, not for a known interesting fact about the town itself. So it sat deep in the wilderness, quite content to be left alone by the rest of America. Being isolated from the hustle and bustle of modern city life meant this town was very much intact with the wilderness. 'Being in touch' usually meant chopping down wilderness, hunting wilderness, or poking wilderness with a stick, but still; they at least knew what it was like to live by the mountains.

Despite the simple nature of the people, backwater or up-to-date, at the lands around the small town were timeless and beautiful. The town was surrounded by steep cliffs and beautiful mountain ranges that would easily bring a seasoned adventurer a run for their money. That was, unless you belonged to a particular local family who thrived off of challenge of physical pursuit. One of these members of this family peddled her way down a gravel-laden road through the woods, her long red hair flowing behind her from under a safety helmet.

Wendy Corduroy rode her bike to work every day, regardless of the many steep hills and inclines that were abundant through the town. The unobservant eye would never have guessed the physical capabilities of the eighteen year old, as she was particularly skinny. She had surprised her peers with more than a handful of her skills. Humming to herself as she turned a bend in the road, she finally found herself in eyesight of the Mystery Manor.

Wendy let her bike slow itself, eventually coming to a stop by using the remaining momentum alone, and parked it by the side of the building. Her single sling style pack swayed as she parked the bike, having picked up the papers and magazines from the end of the long driveway of the Mystery Manor. Giving them a quick glance a she hopped off her ride, she turned and made for the entrance. Her boots hit the wood floor softly as she pushed the door aside.

"Mister Pines!" Wendy called into the building, pulling the pack off her shoulders and tossing it lazily to the side of the counter, "I'm here."

"Hi Wendy!" a young girls voice answered instead of her boss.

"Sup, Mabel," Wendy called as she took her sentry's position. The girl in question walked out into the gift shop, holding in her arms a cardboard box with, from what Wendy could tell, a whole lot of arts and craft supplies. "Starting a new project?"

"Yeah! Do you have any old magazines?" Mabel asked as she took her box to the opposite side of the room, and Wendy pointed to a thin metal tray where outdated magazines and newspapers were laid to rest, "I'm going to spruce up mine and Dipper's door!"

"I'm sure he's excited," Wendy smirked as she pulled out the newest paper from her own bag.

"He's not in the loop yet," Mabel mirrored her smile, devious and excited, "he's still asleep, the bum-head."

"A lucky kid," a weary, creaky voice stated as a tired looking old man walked into the shop. Grunkle Stan walked out, scratching and massaging his back, and in walked the owner of the Mystery Manor, "Hey Wendy. Soos in here?" Grunkle Stan asked as he paused, adjusting his glasses to better rub his eyes.

"Haven't seen him," Wendy shrugged.

"He's eluding your keen senses?" Mabel said in mock awe to her Grunkle, "Stanley Pines! How can this be?"

"Morning is no time for strong senses, except that of pain and misery," Grunkle Stan said, and then cleared his throat, "SOOS!" he bellowed, extending his hand to his mouth as he called.

Directly above the room, there was a sudden gasp, a crash with the sounds of breaking wood, and a portion of the ceiling broke through. Soos's head popped out, staring blankly before him, probably from shock. The three stared back, uncertain as to what exactly had just transpired.

"I found the weak spot on the ceiling we were worried about," Soos said to his boss, turning his head as best he could to look at Stan.

"And you've already started renovations," Stan told him with an air of ease, un-phased with the partial destruction of his building, "you're going to fix all that, right?"

"You bet! Once I figure out how to pull himself out of the hole... uh... I got it," Soos mumbled, trying to wiggle his way with his head, "Or I may be stuck. I think I might be stuck. I am definitely stuck."

Wendy chuckled as Stan moved up, trying to place a hand on Soos's forehead, in attempts to push him back up and out. Wendy lowered herself onto the stool behind her, and opened the newspaper with a flick. To her surprise, there was actually something worth talking about, and not a lot of boring over-exaggeration of local events.

"Hey, Mister Pines," Wendy called to Stan, "check this out," she started reading the headline title out loud, "String of robberies heading for Gravity Falls; locals warned to keep an eye out."

"A string of what?" Stan gave up trying to help Soos, who watched with interest as Grunkle Stan moved to the counter, looking at the magazine, and also read aloud, "a syndicate gang known as 'The Five Freaky Friends', yeesh," Stan leaned away, displeased with the name, "couldn't have thought of anything else?" he continued on the paper, "have been robbing convenience stores and mom-and-pop shops, and are currently expected to make a pass at Gravity Falls very soon. Owners of businesses are encouraged to stay safe and not open business to anyone who would appear dangerous or look like they've spent time behind bars'."

"I guess that means you're not shopping for anything this week," Wendy joked with her boss, who gave her a glare, "unless you want to be pointed away like the hard-timer you are."

"Yeah, funny. And like we should be scared of anyone with the name 'five freaky friends'. I've heard kids shows with scarier names than that!" Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes as he walked away from the counter.

"What about the local authorities?" the sleepy voice of Dipper floated in, dressed and entirely groggy looking with his bags under his eyes particularly visible.

"What? The cops here?" Wendy scoffed at the young teen, "You might as well just tell these guys to stop on by the Mystery Manor for free merchandise if you think those guys have a chance at stopping those thieves."

"That sounds... uh, Soos?" Dipper had only just realized that his friend's head was sticking through the ceiling, looking at him with a happy grin.

"Sup dude," Soos said back.

"Do you need help getting down? Or up? Out?" Dipper tried asking, uncertain of the action to take.

"Don't worry about him, he's fine," Grunkle Stan assured Dipper with a lazy wave of his hand over his shoulder, "getting out of tough situations is just what he does." On cue, Soos crashed through the roof and landed behind Stan with a loud thud. "See? Nice and easy."

"Wow. Surprisingly not hurt," Soos said from the floor, laying on his back, "I can't feel my fingers, but at least I don't feel any pain."

"So, what's with all that talk about robbers?" Dipper asked as he held a hand out for Soos, and aided in his return to proper standing position.

"Some gang is going to drive through Gravity Falls supposedly," Wendy repeated, "but this is also the Gravity Falls Gossiper. You can never be sure with Toby."

"Should we maybe, I don't know, be on lookout for suspicious looking people then?" Dipper asked his Gran Uncle, who scoffed.

"Be my guest; go ahead and stand outside all day and night in case someone decides that the gift shop to a tourist trap is the perfect place to made a fortune in thefts," Grunkle Stan said as he walked out of the room, heading for the kitchen, "Soos, get to that ceiling- we don't need another nest of screech owls living in the building."

"Yes sir!" Soos saluted, "Thanks for the assist, bud," Soos told Dipper as he turned and wobbled his way out of the gift shop, casually trying to steady his walk as he stumbled through the door.

"Dipper! You should help with the door decorations I'm making," Mabel called to her brother from the floor, "It's going to perfectly represent our personalities with the use of messages that look like ransom notes and lots of glitter!"

"Uh," Dipper turned, busy while scratching his arm, "I'm not much of a crafts person, you know that. Why does our door need this stuff?" Dipper asked as Mabel shrugged and began to feverishly cut out words and letters.

"That way no one mistakes our room for anything else," Mabel assured him. Dipper stared down at her, his mind trying to better understand the possibility of anyone mistaking their room for anything other than 'their room', especially since the only other person living with them was Grunkle Stan, who barely traversed up the stairs. It was a harmless project at least, he considered to himself as she happily cut out words and letters per her desire. Dipper sighed, and grunted as he scratched the wrappings around his arm.

"Dude," Wendy said to Dipper, "no scratching."

"Okay, fine," Dipper lowered his arm in mild shame, "It just feels like my skin is crawling."

"It's the curse of stitches, man," Wendy said with authority, "you want your skin to be all nice and healed after we take them out? Can't be scratching at them dude, even through the bandage."

"I gotcha," Dipper nodded, and peered through the hole above him. Soos had finally re-emerged on the roof, looking through it with thoughtful stare. Dipper let his itching arm fidget, and found itself touching the blue cylinder in his pocket. He had come to start holding the blue cylinder closer to him since last night, and so he pulled it out and examined it.

"So, no idea what it is still?" Wendy asked as Dipper looked at the mysterious object.

"Library had nothing, and after the craziness yesterday, I didn't get much chance to do anything but rest," Dipper admitted with mild distress, "but we think it can act as a two-way communicator."

"Huh?" Wendy asked as she lowered the newspaper, "how'd you figure that one out?"

"Dipper's voice came out of the other one," Mabel explained while cutting out a particularly large section of the page, "and he heard us through the other glowy-thingy."

"Not just me though. Soos heard it as well, and so did the warlock. He thought I was doing something to mess with him," Dipper added, putting the object on the counter for Wendy to look at it. She leaned forward, her eyes squinting as she scrutinized its surface.

"That's some weird little... thing you've found, then," Wendy said as she nodded cautiously. Dipper lifted the small object back into his hands, giving it a spin through his fingers. His arm began to itch once again, and it was only the curiosity of the object before him that stayed his hand. Dipper sighed, letting it slide back into his pocket. Looking at it without any clue to its origins or purpose only drove him to crazed frustration. His eyes found Mabel on the floor, still cutting out pieces. Mabel snickered as she began cutting out a section of bolded letters.

"I am going to get some great use from you guys," Mabel smiled deviously as she collected the letters into her crate.

"Hey Mabel," Dipper started, turning to her fully, "can I take you on your word now?"

"Huh?" Mabel crooked her head to the side as she looked to her brother, "You want to speak plainly, good friend?"

"Teach me that stuff, you know?" Dipper asked, his voice quieter, "the, uh, martial arts stuff?"

"Oh!" Mabel gasped. She hadn't forgotten her promise entirely, but the prospect of decorating her door had taken her mind completely away from that. "Yeah bro! Let me wrap this up, and then we can get started."

"Well, it's nice outside right now," Dipper pointed out with a grin, looking to the wilderness, "great day be outside, showing your brother how to be awesome..."

Mabel paused half way through the incision of a face on a commercial for pasted fake-eyebrows. Her brother was throwing a lot of bait for her. It was one thing to acknowledge Mabel's talent in something pleasantly, and another thing to remind her of the glories of outdoor activity. It was entirely different when he sounded excited about it all. This was an opportunity she couldn't pass up on, and she sighed, pained as she looked up at him.

"Just let me finish this one little thing, okay?" she begged, and Dipper sighed.

"WHOA!" Another loud crash later, and Soos's head once again popped through a new hole in the ceiling, this time a few feet further inside the building. He gave them the same surprised stare he had earlier as they looked back. "I'm like a reverse ground-hog," Soos commented.

"On second thought, maybe arts and craft can wait until the roof is safe," Mabel admitted as she eyed Soos. She collected the remains of her project and shifted them to the side of the room, where they would be hopefully safe. Soos crashed through once again, landing as hard as he did previously, but stood up, dusted himself off, and marched back outside.

Several minutes later, Dipper and Mabel emerged from the building, clothed for a fitness workout. T-shirt and sweatpants on, Dipper looked to his much more impressive looking sister, adorned with her martial arts robe and colored belt. They approached the grass, where Mabel stopped, and took a long breath in.

"Well, I hate to tell you Dipper," Mabel started as she thought aloud, "I can't get into the form and more impressive stuff until your arm is better."

"I figured as much," Dipper sighed, rubbing the bandage absentmindedly.

"Stoppit," she pointed to the bandage, and he growled at himself as he lowered his arms, "so, instead, we're just going to skip ahead to the more thoughtful stuff the Paths works on."

"Huh? I thought you said-"

"That you can't fight, yeah," Mabel clarified, "So instead, I'm going to show you the secret to the Paths. The secrets of meditation," Mabel wove her arms to her sides and above her, painting a massive imaginary picture to impress Dipper. He merely stared at her with uncertainty. "That's supposed to sound really, just, way too cool, by the way," she informed him.

"Right. So, what's the secret?" Dipper said, hands by his side as he looked to his sister expectantly.

"We should find an quiet spot first," Mabel decided, peering into the woods, "that way when Soos busts out the power drills, they won't distract us."

With a curt nod, Dipper followed Mabel into the woods. Some hundred feet later, Mabel stopped. They were in a clearing just by the forest edge. Still able to spot the Mystery Manor at distance, Mabel sighed, breathing in the wonderful air around her.

"This will do," she grinned as she plopped down suddenly into a cross-legged sit. "Sit, young grasshopper." Dipper sat with an amused smile, and mirrored her, crossing his legs slightly underneath his knees. "Now, there's three parts to this trick. First, take a nice deep breath, and close your eyes."

"Sure," Dipper nodded, and he took a breath in and out. Mabel watched him carefully and scoffed, "What? What?"

"You're not breathing right!" she scolded him.

"Uh... I'm not sure I understand the criticism. How does anyone not 'breathe right'? You just take a breath in, and then back out," Dipper defended himself.

"It's where the breath comes from," Mabel poked his belly, "there. Your gut!"

"That's not where my lungs are," Dipper stated in a disapproving tone. Mabel poked him again, harder, "Ow!"

"No, but it's where your diaphragm is!" Mabel smirked as Dipper blinked, taken off guard by her knowledge. "Betcha didn't think I knew that, didja oh-so-ready-to-criticize-his-sister, brother o' mine?"

"Okay, you got me," Dipper rolled his eyes and nodded, "I won't second guess you. So, from the gut?"

"Like... lie on your back for a second," Mabel pushed her brother back, who landed on the sparse grass with an 'oof', but laid there willingly, "Now breathe normally," she told him from her seat. He followed suit, and his eyes went wide. He had left his hands onto his stomach, and indeed he could feel a difference in his breathing. "See? Like that, but now sit up, dork."

"I think it's against the rules to call your apprentice dorks," Dipper scolded her as he stood up, eyeing her with amused skepticism. Mabel had actually gone red though, and Dipper smiled in a bit of shock. "What?"

"I guess you are my apprentice, aren't you?" she asked with a tiny wiggly smile, "Man, that is like, so cool, you don't even know."

"Okay. Breaths," Dipper checked his breathing, and this time was given a nod of approval from Mabel, "good. Eyes, closed," Dipper closed his eyes, "check. What next?"

"Clear your mind of thoughts 'n stuff. It's okay if you're thinking about my instructions at first, though," Mabel added with a small chuckle.

"Okay... step three?" Dipper asked with his eyes closed.

"Now, here's the tricky part," Mabel admitted with an air of warning, "you have to feel a light in your head. Like a little spot deep inside your thoughts, but you can't think anything about it. You just have to sort of... experience it without a question."

"Uh... that's ridiculously vague," Dipper stated and opened his eyes, staring at his sister, "how do I know when I see that light?"

"Eyes closed!" Mabel swatted his head gently, and Dipper huffed as he closed his eyes again, "just try clearing your head for now."

"Fine, fine," Dipper nodded, and sat. He tried minding his thoughts, which was certainly a harder thing to do than he anticipated. Certainly possible in theory, but it was like his brain refused to be put at rest- he wanted to be considering ideas and exploring thoughts constantly. Then there was his own voice of consciousness, begging him to understand the point of any of this. His head wanted to understand and seek explanation more and more as he sat silently.

Mabel, on the other hand, had many months of this practice. She was more in control with her thoughts and ideas than what was expected of her at her age. Her master had found a very clever way of instructing Mabel to further her understanding of the meditative process. It wouldn't work on Dipper though, as the plan had been to sing songs together until you didn't need to think about their words, and there Mabel had found the feeling of solace needed for this. Now, she could access it easily when she sought to, at the flick of a mental switch.

The teenage girl could almost feel Dipper's growing frustration. His breaths grew closer together, and he lost his deeper breathing from his diaphragm. Eventually he sighed angrily, and she smirked. He had the same reaction she did when she started.

"Just take it easy bro-bro," she stated calmly, not opening her eyes, "you can't force this out like our mysteries and stuff."

"I know, I'll keep trying," Dipper said. Mabel felt him shake himself out, re-adjust, and try again.

Minutes passed as the two sat in the quiet clearing in the woods. Occasionally there would be the bird passing over, or a small animal cry in the woods far off in the distance, and each time Mabel caught Dipper peaking an eye out to spot it. This was certainly a good place to teach him though- as the din of the work going on at the Mystery Manor would have drowned any silence in their heads instantly. Mabel still didn't understand how her master could meditate with her windows open in the city.

Minutes after she had again caught him peeking his eyes open, she again felt him stir in just the right way to indicate he was looking at something.

"Dipper," she warned him, swatting his knee.

"Ugh, I know, I know!" Dipper growled, sounding like he was clutching his hat-less head and chunks of his hair, "but... ugh! This just feels like torture."

"Psh, baby. You just need to stop thinking about what _else_ you can be doing now, and let yourself go for a bit," Mabel explained. She didn't need to look at her brother to know he had just gaped at her.

"How... how did you-" Dipper started, but Mabel, still with her eyes closed, gave him a big bright gleaming smile. He chuckled as she leaned back. "One more time for me- oh... whoa. Hey Mabel," Dipper started.

"No distractions," Mabel told him, pushing his shoulder gently.

"No, seriously, Mabel," Dipper said with more strength, leaning closer to something away from the twins, "you should open your eyes."

"Dipper, I don't hear anything. If it doesn't look dangerous, leave it be," Mabel told him with authority, "back to meditating."

"Seriously- open your eyes! It's right in front of you! I think it's a fairy!" Dipper shouted as something light brushed against Mabels cheeks.

Mabel gasped and opened her eyes, and instantly regretted her sudden reaction. A small, bright fluffy ball of wondrous light was sucked down into Mabel's throat from her gasp. Her eyes shot open as she gagged, feeling the small puff stick somewhere in her neck, causing the most horrible inside-body itch she had felt in her entire life. Coughing and gagging while fanning her wide-open mouth, Mabel shot up, running in circles as she gripped her neck tightly, afraid the small thing would fall into her lungs.

"Mabel! Wait!" Dipper shouted as he tried following her as she ran desperately in circles.

Mabel's life was falling apart. Nothing could be more panic inducing than the feeling of something hypothetically alive, and fuzzy, and cute, all in the same package, wedged somewhere in her throat. She found a young tree, small enough to grasp the trunk with her hand tightly, and she began to smash her forehead into it, in hopes of popping the thing out.

"OH MY GOD! MABEL! STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF!" Dipper screamed as he tried prying his sister from the tree as she smashed her head against it. She spun to him, hopping in place as her eyes shone with fear, gasping and fanning her mouth.

"I don't want to-" she started gasping with loud frog-like croaks, but then her fear came to light. She swallowed instinctively; her muscles contracting and pulling away that horrible itching feeling and replacing it with an almost worse feeling of emptiness and dread. She stood there, frozen in place, her eyes wide in fear and shame as she realized she had just committed something she would never have wanted to do in her life.

"We need to get back to the shack," Dipper said tensely, trying to remain calm. This was difficult as Mabels lips began trembling horribly.

'I... I... I..." she could manage, tears once again welling up in her face, "I'm a murderer..."

Mabel couldn't stop panicking the entire walk back to the shack, hugged tightly by her concerned brother. Her incoherent sentences tried begging for forgiveness and desperate pleas for death, as she couldn't live with the fact something as small and lovely as a fairy had lost its life to her. Dipper did his best, soothing her with the occasional brush of her hair, but it did little to nothing to calm her. She was convinced she deserved the hangman's noose.

When the two passed Wendy and Soos, who had made yet another hole in the ceiling, the two had come running to her attention, uncertain to what would cause her to cry in front of others. She could only manage out, "I deserve no friends! I am a terrible person!" and Dipper explained the situation bluntly. Stan didn't help either when he entered the scene in an attempt to sooth his grand-niece.

"Sweetie, everything will be fine. These sort of things happen," he said plainly, patting her shoulder gently, drawing from her a look of hope, but he continued, "I mean, they're mostly like bugs anyway. I wouldn't be surprised if there are nests of them actually; like people just accidentally run them over with lawnmowers and weed-whackers and-"

Mabel then charged up the stairs, a trail of tears following in her wake as she ran to her room. Dipper, who had given his Grunkle a look of incredible disbelief, ran after his sister, and found her, having changed lightning-fast into her most comfortable sweater and skirt, and had buried herself inside; deep, deep in sweater-town.

"Mabel," he started, uncertain how to calm her, as she still sniffled and hiccuped from inside her protective cocoon of woven cotton, "I know you're upset about this. It was an accident, though. You didn't mean to do it."

"Does that make it alright? Duh, No!" she cried out, letting one side of her body roll onto the bed, still tucked inside the large orange sweater, "this day, I am become death: the destroyer of Tinkerbell."

"You aren't destroying any worlds, Mabel," Dipper said, sitting on her bed, resting a hand on her side gently.

Mabel listened to her brother, feeling his support in her darkest hour of all existence. It touched her to know he wouldn't see her as a murderous psychopath, even after evidence to the contrary presented itself. Then, without warning, she felt a strong, overtly powerful heat in her chest.

"Ah!" she gasped, popping her head out of her sweater. It was the kind of feeling like she might gag. Dipper whipped his hand away as she sat up, watching her as she clutched her stomach.

"M-Mabel?" Dipper asked worriedly, "You going to be okay?"

Mabel couldn't answer. As soon as she opened her mouth to reply, an earth shaking belch followed, sparkles actually flying out of her mouth as she burped. After emitting possibly the manliest burp the entire history of the Mystery Shack turned Manor, Mabel clapped her hands to her mouth. Her eyes slowly grew wide and she turned to her brother just as slowly. Dipper was trying as hard as he had ever in his entire life to not start bursting out laughing, considering his sister nearly could have tossed someone off their feet with that burp.

"You- you good?" Dipper tried, forcing a smile away poorly with a furrowed brow. Mabel looked to him, disapproval in his clear amusement etched in her entire being.

"That wasn't funny," she shoved him with a push, and pushed herself against the back of the bed. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, "Well, I guess it's time I just start adjusting to the lifestyle of a criminal."

"Oh shut up," Dipper told her as she rested her tired eyes, "my sister isn't a criminal. She's weird and unpredictable, but not an evil monster like she thinks she is."

"Yeah? Weird am I?" Mabel said, opening her eyes and turning to smack her brother.

Mabel's mind did a huge double take. She felt the bed beneath her back, the sheets on her fingers, the rough wood behind her head- she knew she hadn't moved. But what she saw was not from inside her room. She was suddenly walking down Gravity Falls main street, peering across a street to a laundry mat. Mabel screamed, and closed her eyes as she flailed wildly. Suddenly she felt the pull of gravity change and she landed against wooden floor.

"WHAT?!" Dipper leapt off the bed and ran to her side, crumpled on the floor. Mabel opened her eyes, and looked around in panic. She stopped flailing as she spotted Dipper, but her eyes still scanned the room wildly. She was looking at the 'correct' place this time.

"I, uh, Dipper," Mabel said, shaking as she looked around, "I think I just looked into someone else's noggin."

"What?" Dipper gasped, holding her face to his for inspection, "What do you mean?"

"I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was looking at a street in town!" Mabel shouted in fear, "What... how... why!?" she yelled to the roof as Dipper stood up, and scrambled for his old journal, adorned with the golden sigil on the front. "Is this your way of punishing me!?" Mabel shook her hand to the spirits above her.

"Mabel, calm down," Dipper told her firmly, "I think there may be an explanation about this!"

"Yeah!" It's called going EVIL!" Mabel shouted at her brother, and blinked again, not giving it another thought. "BWAAH!" Without warning, she was looking through someone who was literally chewing on an entire steak, without use of silverware, plates, or a table. She was in shock just long enough to spy the large red bushy beard beneath the persons face before she blinked again, and she found herself seeing into her bedroom. "It happened agaaaain!"

"Mabel, look here!" Dipper flipped through several pages, and found one in particular, "It's about Fairies, and more importantly, pixies!"

"Pixies?" Mabel asked, walking over to his bed, and peering over the book to a pair of pages, illustrating the effects and abilities of the small winged humanoids known as the Fairy.

"While the fairy are animated and a powerful life force that act in unpredictable ways, through research I have determined that the Pixie is not a cousin of the Fairy, as was originally thought, but, in fact the Faes' young," Dipper read from the journal. "They are created by fairies gathering positive energies and binding them into a small seed, like that of plants, and when the parents choose, enchanting that seed with life. Until that point, they are not alive, but exhibit strong magical properties not entirely recordable."

"I ATE A BABY FAIRY!?" Mabel shrieked at this information, "DEATH! I WILL TAKE DEATH AND DISHONOR!"

"Mabel! Relax! It says that ingestion of a pixie results in uncontrollable levitation," Dipper paraphrased from the journal, "but if it gets stuck inside the throat, strange sense-changes can happen. You're not floating, so that means its still okay!"

"Wait... so it's okay?" Mabel gasped, and again blinked. "Whoa," Mabel grinned, peering through yet another set of eyes.

"Uh... so you're seeing something else?" Dipper asked as he stared at his sister, who grinned.

"Oh, it's that funny skinny man," Mabel stated, "who's really into fashion? Likes seeing a good fight? Cute biker dude."

"Tyler?" Dipper clarified.

Mabel snickered. The shock had clearly worn off from her. Maybe it was the news that she hadn't killed the innocent creature, or maybe that it was Tyler dancing in front of a mirror to a clearly active beat, practicing moves that Mabel made note to steal for herself, while wearing a black leotard. She laughed at a particularly daring drop and spin, and she blinked. When she opened her eyes, she sighed in disappointment to be back at the Mystery Shack.

"This... could have been worse I guess," Dipper stated as Mabel wiped away tears from her face. "I mean, all you have to do is blink again and your own vision comes back, right?"

Mabel gave his comment some consideration as she stood off his bed. This wasn't just lucking out big-time, this was an opportunity. Sure, having to switch between 'other-people' vision and her own could be tiresome, but then again, she could now see what people were looking at.

"Bro, I totally need to test this thing out," Mabel grinned as she looked back to her brother.

With a brief goodbye to the others in the Mystery Manor, the three took Dipper's car and headed straight for the town. A plan was established; Mabel would blink deliberately and memorize what the person was doing, looking for a specific detail to remember, and Dipper would write the time for reference. Their first target was to return to the Gravity Falls funeral home, to Tallman Harker, the caretaker of the building. They approached him and offered a bargain. Mabel would try to guess what he had been doing recently, with the bet of five dollars. The width of Tallman's eyes could not be larger when she guessed correctly; examining the latest issue of Morgue and Mortuary Monthly. Many more were to befall Mabels' new talent, peering into the eyes of those she deemed gullible to not assume they were spying on them.

"Forty five bucks!" Mabel jogged in place excitedly as she clutched her collection of five dollar bills, "we're so getting good food later!"

"I'm not really sure that using this anymore to rip people off their cash is a good idea," Dipper added, despite smiling at his sister's excitement, "this was sort of Gideon's track record, remember?" Mabel swatted the top of his cap while blowing a raspberry.

"Shush, unbeliever!" Mabel told her brother with the command of a true queen, "the great, all seeing Mabel has declared that we shall no longer use such powers except for that of the good of all."

"Great, because that farmer we ripped off is still staring at us weirdly, and I don't think we need any more of that," Dipper pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. The two turned around, and indeed a farmer was clutching a power-line pole while partially hiding behind it. He glared at the two, his eyelids almost sealed as he gazed suspiciously at Mabel.

"I will find your secrets," the man's barely audible voice reached them.

"Eh. Wouldn't be the first time people thought I was a witch. Shoo!" Mabel shrugged and called to the man, who yelped and ran off. "See? No biggie," Mabel added and winked at her brother. She hadn't considered the chance of multiple-perspectives with her eyesight before, and her brain was certainly not ready for the sensation. "UGH. That hurts," she clutched her head as one side of her vision was that of a map of some sorts on a dark table, while the other stared at Dipper's shoes while she tried processing what she was experiencing.

Yet, as she let her 'extra-perception' stare into someone else's life, she noticed something. The map was of Gravity falls, and it was marked in red circles and dots. There were hastily drawn scribbles of some sort of plans around the edges of the map. She closed her right eye and finally let her brain take in the entire view from the other person. This was a plan of some sort.

"Dipper... we need to write something down," Mabel said, reaching out blindly before her, trying to grab her brother's shoulder.

"Huh? What do you see?" Dipper asked curiously, "I thought we were done scamming people."

"This isn't about scamming silly people," Mabel stated hurriedly, trying to read the plans she saw out loud, "I can see stuff like 'wait until closing ours, take back entrance' and 'bring heavy duty lock-breaks'. Dipper, I think I can see a plan to rob Gravity Falls shops!"

"Okay, in the car," Dipper said, pulling her over to his car, and seating her inside, as she dared not to blink. As he sat behind the wheel and closed the door, she could hear him scramble for the papers they used to scam people, and scribble out unneeded information. "Tell me what you see, everything you can."

Mabel had seen enough for a detailed report. The people planning to rob shops in Gravity Falls were going to operate one day after another, bouncing around town seemingly unpredictably to hit shops that differed in the amount of goods that could be stolen. Supposedly, as she saw others around the map, these people would hit one shop alone, at a predetermined time, to ensure absolute success. She had seen enough, and closed her eyes finally after successfully announcing she just spied on the entire group of the Five Freaky Friends.

"Mabel, we need to take this to the cops!" Dipper told her when she finally blinked, her eyes growing red from staring at the roof of the car too long.

"But I thought Wendy said they'd just end up getting hurt or stuff," Mabel tried recalling while rubbing her eyes gingerly.

"If they tried doing it alone, maybe," Dipper said, turning around in his seat to look at her, "but with this information, they may be able grab them all, one by one!"

"I'd think they'd change their plan as soon as one of them got caught," Mabel pointed out, finally opening her eyes to look around, "ah, and the world makes sense again."

"Don't you think it's worth it to try?" Dipper asked. Mabel gave him a thoughtful look. They had dealt with monsters in their lives before. Heck, just two days ago they ran face-to-face with the Shapeshifter in a near life and death scenario. Yet it was people who were among the scariest things to deal with. Humans didn't have a crazy over-the-top weakness like light or heat or itching powder- they could be smart or strong or fast and could do anything that Dipper and Mabel could. Getting involved with other humans in this sort of experience was risky.

Yet Mabel could feel her conscious calling for justice. She may not have eaten that pixie like she thought, but at least she could use this situation for good.

"Okay, pardner; to the sheriffs," Mabel spoke her best southern cowboy and nodded to her brother as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was shocked to find her vision still in the car, but looking ahead to the road. "WOAH! Dipper, turn and look at me!" Mabel gasped and flapped her hands excitedly. She felt Dipper blink, and saw him slowly turn his face to look at her. Her vision beheld her image and she couldn't help but smile. "Aw, I look wonderful. This is so much better than a mirror."

The drive to the police station was to be a quick one. Dipper had more difficulty than he had anticipated, as Mabel quickly made it a sport to identify the mistakes Dipper made while driving, regardless how minute or unimportant they were. She would cackle jestingly to his exaggeration reactions, reminding him that it was in his best interests to take her advice. "Not every day you get to have someone tell you what you're missing from your own perspective, is it?" Dipper then gave his sister a snide remark to her own skills at driving. As usual, the retort just bounced right back off her impenetrable sense of humor.

Then they arrived to the police station. The small offices of the Gravity Falls Police Department were cramped but homey feeling, as each of the unimpressive officers in the town had made their best efforts at relaxing as much as possible at work. The siblings passed a giant inflatable bouncy castle by the front door, blocking half the entrance. Mabel was terribly tempted to leap in when walking around it, and wouldn't leave until given a single chance to hop around. Dipper resorted to pulling her arm away, but she resisted- dragging him back to try jumping on it.

"Just once!" she begged as she yanked him closer. Dipper was persistent, and tugged back. "Oh come on! It's a police sponsored bouncy castle! Cmon? It's all mythical and stuff too!"

"Its monster movie themed, okay?" Dipper corrected her as she continued the struggle. "Can we go?"

"That's super-movie monster themed bouncy castle, to you," a voice with a country twang informed them. Dipper turned with Mabel, who was still letting her sight jump between individuals and therefore practically blind in the moment. Deputy Durland stepped out, his hands at his hips as he gave the two a stern look. "Nothing but the _best_ monsters on that beauty. Now, what are you two doing here- aside from oglin' our great use of state funding?"

"That gang that's supposed to come by Gravity Falls," Dipper started quickly, hoping to issue a sense of urgency, "my sister and I know they're going to hit a shop tonight."

"Yeah! It's going to be... uh," Mabel checked the notes she and her brother wrote down, "at the Hot-Grip Professional Weights Gym!" Mabel announced, reading off the list of posed targets. "Man, who wants to rob a gym anyway? Aren't there scary people working in gyms?"

"It's after dark, so it's closed and no ones inside," Dipper pointed out, lazily pointing to the note next to it, and Mabel gave a small 'ah'. "But yeah. These people are going to rob it tonight! We know how they're going to do it and everything! You can grab them while they're at it!"

"And how exactly," the deeper soulful voice of Sheriff Blubs asked as he walked out, holding two coffees, "do you know about all this? Sounds awfully suspicious. Oh, and here you go, buddy: half-caf soy salted caramel macchiato for you," Blubs handed a coffee to his partner, who cheered and started sipping. "Not too fast! You'll burn your tongue!" Blubs warned him.

"We... uh," Dipper turned to his sister, who returned the uncertain look. The premise of knowing what criminals were up to completely blinded them from being able to come up with a worthwhile excuse to how they came to the knowledge. Yet there they stood, with the two heads of the police department in town, staring them down for an answer. Dipper opened his mouth, worried their silence would draw further suspicion. Only then did Sheriff Blubs laugh at him.

"Oh, come on kid," Blubs grinned behind his black shades, "we're joking with you!" Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland gave a hearty laugh, pointing at the twins. The Pines duo started chuckling half-heartedly, awkwardly waiting for the two police officers to regain their composure. "You two looked like you were about faint! Woohaha!"

"Yeah, that's, hah, really funny," Dipper forced a thin smile on his face. "So, can we get your help in catching the gang?"

"Look kid," Sheriff said as he sipped his coffee, "We're not going to go running out at night just because you said so. I've listened to your advice about this sort of thing before. You remember how that turned out, don'tcha?"

Dipper's face reddened. He hadn't counted on the bumbling duo that were the Sheriff and deputy of Gravity Falls actually recalling his blunder three years ago. He had mistakenly laid the blame of an assault and 'murder' of a wax figurine on the short, ugly local reporter, Toby Determined. While he and his sister had quickly afterwards determined the wax figures had, in fact, been cursed to come to life during a waxing moon, and attempted to kill Grunkle Stan, they still hadn't exactly cleared their name from the wrong accusation. Dipper growled at his previous shortcomings, and could only guess how he'd win their trust. Maybe buying them more coffee?

"Well, that was my brother who told you," Mabel stepped up, a dawning look in her eyes as Dipper turned to see her, "but this is my discovery! You can trust me, can't you?"

The two police officers gave Mabel a good look. She was doing her very best to appear adorable, fluttering her eyes and holding her hands behind her back as she smiled sweetly at the two. It took her a lot of focus and concentration to ignore the sudden flashes of other people's vision as she blinked, including someone picking their nose, a boy poking at an electric socket with a metal fork, and a man chasing a squirrel, presumably on his hands and legs, around a front-yard fountain.

"I see no reason not to trust you," Sheriff Blubs leaned back, giving his partner a pat on the back, "but you're on a thin wire, young lady. You're getting one chance to show us you're right. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" Mabel saluted, her tongue slightly sticking out as she grinned.

Hours passed as the Pines twins waited for the call from the cops. The plan was simple enough- the cops would stay in the relative perimeter of the gym, just out of sight. As soon as a suspicious figure approached, they would nab them, and place them under arrest. Dipper and Mabel were now waiting in Dipper's car, just across the street from the Sheriff and Deputy's cruiser.

The stars shone above, a beautiful and clear night. The two had informed the Mystery Manor of their intentions over phone. Stan had been anxious at to hear their involvement; evidence by his repeatedly bringing up the inabilities of the cops, and having it become the theme of the conversation. Mabel had been able to convince him of their safety, as she argued she could easily spot the criminals using their own eyes. After the call, and the A-Okay from Stan, Dipper quickly asked if she had learned to do that.

"I didn't; just wanted him to relax already," Mabel grinned, maybe a little too innocently. When she opened her eyes, she groaned and stuck out her tongue, quickly closing her eyes again and involuntarily shuddering. "Another person dancing naked in front of the mirror."

"Man, I guess some stereotypes are here for a reason," Dipper patted his sister's shoulder as she pulled out a small note-pad, and added a tally for 'dancing naked'. On the paper was also 'picking noses', which was the reigning champion, 'staring at a mirror with creepy intensity', and a few more innocent ones, such as eating, chatting, or reading a book, which only had one tally.

"At this rate I'll know what everyone in Gravity Falls looks like under their clothes," Mabel groaned and sunk into her seat, "that's not a responsibility my youthful soul can take."

"I know how you feel," Dipper added with a tone of accusation, adjusting himself in his seat. Mabel gave him a tiny glare- it hadn't been her fault that she needed to change into her sleepwear that night, and he just decided to waltz right in. She jabbed a finger into his shoulder.

"Bub, not my problem you can't learn to knock," she retorted in a tough, gruff voice. Dipper chuckled and rolled his eyes. Then his body tensed up.

"Mabel, look," he pointed across the street.

She didn't need her nutty vision abilities to see what he was talking about. A tall man with a dirty button up shirt and vest skulked down the sidewalk, carrying with him a small metal case. He was extremely nervous looking, glancing up and down the street repeatedly. He wore a bandanna around his mouth, supposedly to hide his identity, but he would then remove it and sigh, wiping off sweat on his cheeks.

"Our crook of the evening?" Dipper asked his sister.

Mabel grinned: this was it. She had seen that man from a totally different perspective, but she had seen him before.

They watched him approach, dropping his bag right for the door. He glanced once more around, and quickly reached into the bag and grabbed a pair of lock picks. The instant he turned to the doors again, the lights went from night to day.

"FREEZE! HANDS IN THE AIR!" came the cry of literally the entire Gravity Falls police department. Ten police cruisers, all hiding nearby came rushing out of their spots, their sirens and lights blaring as the robber froze, his eyes so wide that the twins could see the reflections of the entire scene from his pupils.

"Attempted breaking and entering with the intent of theft," Sheriff Blubs stated as he and the Deputy got out of their cars, and Dipper and Mabel followed suit.

"Looks like the Hot-Grip gym can sleep well tonight," Dipper grinned as the he and Mabel walked with the Sherriff towards the crook, now being handcuffed as he stared around in awe, "because we caught this guy red-handed."

"UUUGGGHH," the crook groaned and looked like he wanted to just die on the spot at Dipper's lame pun.

"I wasn't too sure about this, you know," Sheriff Blubs said as he turned to the twins, adjusting his thick sunglasses, "I'm almost inclined to ask how you knew. The time and place was perfect."

"But who cares!" Deputy Durland ran over, hooting loudly as he shot his hands into the air, "we bagged a baddy! WOOHOO!"

"Maybe you guys should know then," Dipper leaned in to the two, and Mabel followed suit, "a little secret we have."

"He's just the first one," Mabel told them as the cops leaned towards the twins, "there are going to be more of these throughout the week!"

The two cops gave each other a look. Mabel and Dipper didn't require such an exchange of glances to know their feelings on the matter. These two bumbling policemen had what was probably the first real case in a long, long time. Instead of having to clean up the mess and look macho enough to 'scare away the thieves', they had the opportunity to really catch them, and Mabel was their key. It didn't take half a brain to know these guys would be using Mabels great 'advice' for a bit.

The next four days were a blur of excitement and drama. Fortunately the drama was not centered around the lives of the Pines twins, but instead, their growing status as pro-gang busters.

Mabel would lay in awake, later than she usually was, and blink again and again, looking for that same room with the gravity falls map laid out. She, through time and patience, would eventually find that place, and there would be one less person there looking over a new plan of action. With the help of her brother, she would record the new plan, and instantly report it to the police, who would lay in wait for the coming thief.

Each day heralded a new gang member to be locked in jail. It was a success that, strangely, no one in Gravity Falls questioned; even though the fact they were able to do what other towns had not was already an accomplishment beyond anything the police force had done in town before. The town pride grew more and more each day, and the fame of a young teenager with a big bright smile and silly sweaters grew just as much.

Four days after the first criminal had been captured was the last day of the Gang's plans, and Mabel sat on her porch, sitting next to Grenda and Candy Chiu, as she blinked rapidly.

"It's not working today," Mabel huffed after the hundredth time of looking for the final member of the gang, "I can find the other four jerks easily, sitting in the jail moping, but the last guy isn't coming to me," she grumbled, and poked at her old sweater, with a rainbow-shooting star adorned to its front.

"Maybe he has found an anti-magic charm," Candy suggested.

"Or maybe he _IS_ magical, and he's onto you," Grenda gasped, her hypothesis giving her a moment of panic, "we better be ready for action!"

"Guys, it's okay," Mabel told her newly reconnected friends as Dipper walked out the front door, carrying a six-pack of Pitt soda, "sometimes it can take a while for the ol' Mabel super-senses to find the right person."

"You mean for the Pixie to let you see the right person," Dipper corrected her as he handed a soda to each of them before opening his own, "that thing is really the hero here."

"But if it wasn't for me having swallowed it," Mabel debated with a happy grin, "it couldn't have told us anything to begin with if it wasn't for moi!"

"You accidentally swallowed it," Dipper pointed out, "and then spent a minute trying to claw it out of your neck."

"It tasted funny," Mabel remembered earnestly.

"Did it taste like sparkles?" Candy asked as she adjusted her glasses, "if there is someone I know who can tell the difference between sparkles and fairy creatures, it's you."

"Umm... not really?" Mabel tried, scratching her head with her empty hand, "kind of hard to explain how it tastes... you know that flavor in your mouth after you sleep too long? If you spray some nice perfume on that, but take away the flowery smell, that's what it tasted like."

"I'd totally eat a pixie," Grenda said after swigging some of the soda, "I've eaten worse tasting stuff than that!"

"I didn't eat it!" Mabel declared quickly, worried she was giving the wrong impression, "I just swallowed. Apparently it's just sort of stuck in my throat. Somewhere down here,-" she looked down to her chest, poking it with interest, "-a savior rests."

"That really doesn't look right, Mabel," Dipper commented, leaning away from his sister as she rubbed her belly with glee, a wide smile on her face as she laughed with her two friends.

Mabel grinned to her friends and sighed. The sun was just above the tree line, and the rays of light fell easily onto the four teens. The thought passed through her head- if she never lost this ability, she could come to accept the quirks and move past them. She could easily become, dare she say it even in her head, a super hero. A crime fighter who scans the world through other people's eyes and finds the evil do-ers while they plan their actions. She had almost gotten used to accidentally slipping into personal moments, even the particularly embarrassing times she saw people she really knew. What would be the next 'logical' step in this ability?

The young girl sighed as she leaned back. A small breeze passed the four of them, rocking their hair back and forth. Mabel only had to push her head slightly ahead to catch a glimpse of something mystical. A trio of small lights were bobbing out of the woods, letting off a trail of tiny fading sparkles. Mabel gasped and her hand raised to point at the image.

"Guys! Look!" Mabel uttered, the breath leaving her as the creatures glided closer. The three others gasped, and Dipper stood up quickly, pulling his sister up with him. "What?" he asked her indignantly.

The three spheres of light had entirely left the woods when the first bobbing ball of sky blue color stopped, as well did the lights of green and pink. The three huddled closer for a moment, and there was a flash of light bright enough for the four teens to shield their eyes. Dipper and Mable clutched at each other tightly, worriedly looking ahead as they were mirrored by Grenda and Candy, who had yet to stand.

Three human-sized fairies with tall, pointed ears and sparkling wings now stood before them. The closest to them was dressed very formally, wearing a dark blue suit with matching dress pants. He adjusted his tie and took a step closer as he cleared his throat. He reached inside his jacket, and withdrew a small card, just enough for them to read a name and title.

"Twinkle-Moon, Attorney of Fairy-Xenocreature law," the well groomed blonde man spoke, a firm voice of authority claiming the space around them, "I am looking for the human girl who goes by the name 'Mabel Pines'. Which of you would be her?"

A stunned silence had fallen after the 'Fairy Lawyer' spoke. The three who were not Mabel had impulsively turned to look at her, immediately betraying her identity, while Mabels' eyes sparkled as she beheld the beautiful man-sized fairy before her. Her mind was in complete shock. Three beautiful, sparkling people with wings that seemed to glisten with transparent beauty stood before her. The closest two had large wings resembling those on a dragonfly, and the other behind them had wings like a moth. She couldn't process what the man had just demanded, and she made a step forward.

"Whoa, hold on a second," Dipper's voice stated, and Mabel felt herself being pulled back to reality as she was literally pulled backwards by her brother. She shook her head as he continued, "What do you want with her?"

"Our concerns are with the human being Mabel Pines," the second man stated, also in a suit, but with short dark hair that seemed to naturally spiked around him like a wild mane, "unless you are... Mabel?" he asked, leaning closer to examine Dipper.

"I'm not a girl!" Dipper protested as Grenda and Candy giggled.

"Mabel is a female name to humans?" the second fairy leaned back, looking to the blond fairy, "their names sound so masculine... I don't understand-"

"We're getting off topic!" the woman-fae behind the two snapped, drawing attention to herself. Mabel bent slightly to the side, to better get a look at the woman hiding in the back. She was positively adorable- wavy light brown hair with large blue eyes, a soft face that spoke of youth and energy. As soon as Mabel laid eyes on her, the Fairy returned the look, but furiously.

"Right," the blonde nodded, "Mabel Pines?" he stepped closer, easily taller than all the kids there. "Please identify yourself."

"You first," Grenda stated back, no longer as entranced as Mabel, who held hands to her cheeks as she stared into the man's endlessly shimmering eyes.

"Oh, that's right, human custom," the man leaned back, scratching his head, which produced a small shimmer of excess sparkles, and Mabel cooed in delight, "I am Twinkle-Moon, the leading Fairy-Xenocreature Attorney of Law. This is Miss Jingle-Blossom," he indicated behind him with one hand towards the woman, "and this is my Fairy Partner Lawyer," he turned again, but now to the other man, "Bob."

"Bob?" Dipper asked, sizing up the fairy in question, who scowled at the mention of his name, "You're a fairy with the name Bob?"

"I bumped my head when I was enchanted to life. I made the sound accidentally when... never mind," The Fairy Bob growled just above his breath.

"I like it!" Mabel declared in a pitch a little too high for her normal voice, "Bob is a lovely name."

The Fae exchanged glances, uncertain to Mabel's genuine attitude. Dipper gave her a single uncertain glance and rolled his eyes while he huffed out a tense sigh. His sister was practically shooting hearts out of her eyes at the sight of these two men. Dipper could almost feel her heartbeat as she dreamily stared at the two men before her.

"So, you're saying you're a Lawyer?" Dipper asked after a moment of letting his sister stare at them without interruption.

"Of course. All civilized creatures have laws, and those laws need interpreting," Twinkle-Moon said simply, motioning to Bob the Fairy for a bag he hung over his shoulder, "I specialize in cases that involve non-fairy laws."

"Non-fairy law?" Mabel asked as Twinkle-Moon pulled out a large leather binder of bright pastel colors.

"That's right. Now, can I assume you are Mabel? Miss Mabel Pines?" Twinkle Moon asked, putting on half-rim spectacles as he looked down to the binder he opened up.

"I... yes," Mabel nodded, biting her lip a little as she stepped closer. It was as if each step she took removed her inability to breathe a little more. She had imagined that human beings could be beautiful, but the perfection this Fairy man had in his face, angular face and soft chin and shapely eyebrows that contoured his face; he was gorgeous. It was androgyny at its greatest.

"Mabel Pines, as in accordance to human law," Twinkle-Moon stated officially as he read a page from the binder, "you are held accountable for the theft of the un-living child of Jingle-Blossom, and in accordance to fairy law-"

"Whoa!" Mabel held her hands up and stepped back, "Theft?"

"Kidnapping," Jingle-Blossom stated angrily behind the two men.

"Kidnapping!?" The other three teenagers gasped.

"-You are held accountable for kidnapping of said un-enchanted life child of Jingle-Blossom; the misuse of Fairy property, the aforementioned unenhanced child of Jingle-Blossom; the ransoming of said property-"

"RANSOMING!?" Mabel shouted as the list grew worse and worse, "I didn't ransom anything!"

"According to Fae-dar, our Fae ability detecting tools," Bob the Fairy stepped forward, looking to the binder briefly, "you have used abilities granted to you by the pixie belonging to Jingle-Blossom upon multiple occasion. This mistreatment of the pixie is a serious act of braggery to Fairies, and is seen as Jingle-Blossom," Bob pointed to the fuming woman-fairy behind him, "as a means to demand action from her."

"In total," Twinkle-Moon said loudly, bringing the attention of all to him again, "Mabel Pines, you have committed several acts of aggression and hostile actions against Jingle-Blossom's child. In this regard, Fairy law puts you in her hands for judgment," Twinkle-Moon pointed to the woman behind him, who had just cracked a tiny, vengeful smile at Mabel.

Mabel gulped. That wasn't a look she wanted from a fairy. She was really, really, really in trouble.

* * *

Fairies. You never know what to expect from the buggers- one moment they're twinkling around you talking about flowers and stuff, and the next they want to take your teeth way! The heck's with that!?

I've got a little surprise for you all: A minor non-human character from the Season 1 of the show will be making an appearance in part two! I would love to hear a guess or two as to who's going to make it into the story of Mabel and her gift of extra-extra sensory perception. Which was a possible name for this episodes title, but I digress.

First chapter with major, major points of view from Mabel! How'd you like it, guys? More? Less? Increase speed to warp eight? Lemme know! :)

Anyways, seeya guys next- (there is a strange pulse of light that passes through the entire dorm, and suddenly nothing is tethered to gravity, including EZB) Oh crud! (EZB and the contents of his room start floating around) Oh... you know, this isn't so bad.

(a large brown bear, aware of the change in gravitation forces, lunges through the window and attacks EZB, and begins mauling him) AH! OKAY! THIS IS BAD! OW! VERY BAD! OW!


	9. A Mabel of Perspective: Part 2

"What?!" the four teens shouted. Grenda and Candy stood next to one another, staring wide-eyed at the three tall Fairies before them.

"But, wait," Dipper stepped to his sister's side, who was shaking now; all aspects of attraction towards these mystical creatures washed away at the possibility of legal action, "this all sounds like police work! Why are you two laying out charges to her? Get your officers or whatever!"

"Fae do not have 'police'," Bob said, using his fingers to quote the words police, "it is a rather wasteful thing to monitor fairies at all times when we all have magic."

"If you had been a Fairy, Mabel Pines," Twinkle-Moon stated, taking an ominous step closer, having the twins back off slightly, "the punishment for these actions would be death."

"But I didn't do anything!" Mabel protested, worriedly looking between the two men, and then to the supposed mother, "It was just an accident!"

"Ha!" the woman spat aloud, "A likely story!"

"We were just sitting by the woods," Dipper pointed to the area they had occupied earlier, also looking to Jingle-Blossom, "and it floated into Mabel's mouth. She didn't want to do anything to it! She almost cried when-"

"I don't _care_," Jingle-Blossom yelled, her skin glowing redder with each heated word, "What she did... when she took my _baby_... away from _**me**_!"

Jingle-Blossom had grown three feet taller while she had been shouting. Her heavy, heaving breaths slowed down, and her size began to scale back towards a normal human height as she glared at the twins hatefully. Even the Lawyers had leaned away, uncertainty etched into their frowns.

"Ah, uh, yes," Twinkle-Moon cleared his throat, and looked back to the kids, "we must admit, this is the tricky part of the business here. See, fairies don't recognize human claim to land. You say you were just over there?" he pointed to the plot of land behind several trees in the distance, "in our terms of land-ownership, this entire forest is considered fairy land. You took her child right off her own front lawn, to put it into your perspective."

"Oh, I've never heard of that analogy," Bob the Fairy told his partner, who shrugged.

"Work with humans enough times, you catch the sayings pretty quickly," Twinkle-Moon explained briefly.

Mabel was flooded with dread and the closest thing to self-loathing she had ever felt in her life. The entire experience she had gone through when she thought she had killed the pixie came rushing back. This time, instead of her guilt of being a murderer, she dealt with the well-deserved wrath of a mother. She was a kidnapper and child abuser now, and her heart sank for miles in her chest. She wanted to cry, to let that pain well out. Maybe she did deserve death. After all, how was she supposed to get Jingle-Blossom's pixie back? She had tried hacking up the small puff ball before to no avail. Her nose was suddenly stuffy. As she sniffed, rubbing her arm across her face, her brother stepped forward, his face screwed in determination.

"You can't kill her," Dipper told them, his eyes boring into the taller men before him, and then to the ever-furious woman behind them, "you can't kill a person because of an innocent mistake! You'd be the horrible people if you did, not us!"

"HOW DARE YOU!?" Jingle-Blossom roared, stomping forward towards Dipper, who stood his ground. Yet she was stopped, a hand shooting up from Twinkle-Moon.

"He's right," the blonde fairy stated calmly. Dipper gasped and almost smiled. He clearly hadn't been expecting such an answer. The mother gaped at the lawyer, who turned to speak to her. "We, as Fae, are bound to our own laws. Death cannot be executed without explicit breaking of the seven prime no-no's."

"Seven prime no-no's?" Grenda asked, tilting her head to the side.

"However," Twinkle-Moon turned back to Mabel, who was trying to calm herself, "that doesn't mean you walk away free. The closest agreement I can come to terms with is punishment by curse."

"Curse?!" Mabel gasped, blinking rapidly as she saw other people's lives accidentally during this important moment, "But-but-"

"Miss Jingle-Blossom," Bob turned to the Fairy woman, who seemed calmed at their words, "you will hold the lease of the curse. Please sign here," he reached into his bag and pulled out a shimmering piece of parchment, and handed her an oversized cattail with ink on one end.

"By signing this, I determine what exactly?" the mother asked quietly.

"You can't curse her!" Candy began pleading for Mabel, "that's dark magic! Fairies are supposed to be nice and sweet!"

"And humans are supposed to be tall and scary, but you don't see me judging you four, do you?" Bob stated snappily at the four, but his eyes lingered on Grenda, "Well, maybe you fit the description." Grenda growled at his words, pushing her sleeves up her arms. Bob continued, "by signing here, you acknowledge the curse of Mabel Pines belongs to you and you determine the extremes of the curse and the length."

"I understand," Jingle-Blossom nodded and looked to Mabel. She clearly detested the brown haired girl, but that seething anger had vanished. With a single examination of the paper, she took the cattail and signed her name on a part of the list. Burst of light emanated from the signature, and the paper rolled itself up without the aid of the fairies, and landed in Jingle-Blossoms open hands.

"No!" Mabel gasped. Her feet gave away, and she fell forward. what kind of curse would it be? Would she feel pain forever? Maybe she could only speak in boring, over-specific words? What if she lost all adorable features about her? Her eyes raced as she stared at the ground below her, and she waited for the coming curse.

"Just stop! She doesn't deserve this!" Dipper shouted at Jingle-Blossom, who shook her head as she clutched the curse.

"For stealing my child, you are cursed, from now and the rest of your days," Jingle-Blossom stated aloud, "to never retain your own senses again."

"W-what?!" Mabel stopped shaking and looked up. It was the tiniest gust of wind that caused her to blink, and when she did, she again saw into the life of another person. Fearfully, she blinked again. She did not see the fairies before her. She gasped and blinked again. Another view into another life, but not her own vision. Again and again she blinked, faster and faster, desperate for her own sight to come back. "Oh no! I-I-I can't see through my own eyes anymore!"

"That is not all," The dark voice of Jingle-Blossom said, her voice growing closer and her footsteps just loud enough to let Mabel know she was approaching slowly, at a steady pace, "don't sneeze. Don't ever hiccup. Don't you ever, ever yawn so hard your ears pop. And never, never, never get shivers. Or... those senses will leave you too."

"NO!" Dipper shouted, his voice loud enough to almost knock Mabel over. She felt him approach the woman somewhere ahead of her, his feet stomping into the earth, "You let her off this curse right now! Or-"

"Or else what?" Jingle-Blossom sneered back, and Dipper growled so loud it felt like his throat might tear.

"That's enough," the calm voice of Twinkle-Moon called above them all, silencing both Dipper and the scorned mother. "The business at hand is now done. Jingle-Blossom, unless you're trying to start a conflict with humans that goes beyond our legislation, we will be leaving now."

"...Yes," Jingle-Blossom sighed and their footsteps started leaving the area.

"Wait!" Mabel cried, tripping over her own feet suddenly, barely being caught by Dipper, who gasped at her collapse, but Mabel didn't flinch. She reached out, trying to call back the fairies, "You can't leave me like this! Please? I'll give it back, I just need to figure out how to get it out of me!"

"Mabel, they're gone," Candy's voice said sadly as Mabel, now having closed her eyes to attempt not seeing anyone else's life, let her hand fall to her side, limp. Any attempt to stand herself up gave away, and Dipper held up as tears started building in her eyes.

This was beyond bad. This was a level of bad Mabel had never dealt with before. Life and death was one thing, but now her senses were all on a thin wire. She already lost one of her five senses; not temporarily, but forever. If she was going to see again, she was going to do it through someone else eyes. What kind of sick, twisted curse was this? What would life be without the ability to sense your own world?

A Mystery Manor meeting was called in the living room. All employees of the Mystery Manor, the twins, Grenda and Candy Chiu, and Stanley Pines gathered, hearing the story of what had just transpired. Stan had tried being light-hearted at first, blowing this news off like it was nothing. As the story wrapped up, Grunkle Stan's expression was solemn and grim- not that Mabel could see it. She had been offered by Dipper multiple times to be her seeing-eye-brother, but she had wordlessly refused, shaking her head rapidly in a flurry of brown hair. It would hurt too much to be reminded she could only see other people's lives.

"Dude, we have to break this curse," Wendy finally said after a long pause, where the eight of them sat in the room quietly. "This isn't freaking cool just to let her lose her senses like this!"

"Exactly!" Dipper snapped a finger to her.

"Just how exactly are we supposed to do that?" Grunkle Stan asked around, "Look, I know my way around a few things like this, but Fairies and I never got along, and I know for a fact their curses are persistent," at these words, Mabel's lower lip trembled, "not that we wont try! Mabel, sweetheart," Grunkle Stan lost all pretenses of his tough nature as his Great-niece broke down and cried for the second time since coming inside.

"I might as well just diiiieeee," Mabel bawled to the ceiling, her arms poised above her, "death! Take me now!"

"Mabel, stop it," Dipper scolded her lightly, pulling her arms down, "you can get along without sight for now. All we have to do is find a way to break this spell thing, and then we put this behind us, right?"

"Is anyone familiar with curses enough to lead this?" Candy asked around. The group exchanged glances. Eyes fell onto Dipper and Stan, who shrugged.

"I'll give my notes a look through," Stan said strongly, and Dipper nodded. He would do the same, but he didn't need anyone to tell him what to do. If it took him the rest of his life to break this curse form his sister, he would do it. His eyes shifted momentarily to the others. Soos was watching Mabel so sadly and cautiously, as if he was afraid Mabel would hurt herself. Wendy also seemed out of her element, staring into the carpeted floor with the same hollow look she had when stitching up Dipper several days ago.

"Grenda, Candy," Dipper said, standing up, "we're going to the Library."

"What for?" Grenda asked as she and Candy naturally stood up as well.

"We ran into someone a few days ago who dealt with crazy stuff like this; that warlock. Magic curses, spells, potions and stuff- those books that creep left behind may have a hint to what we're supposed to do if we want to break this stupid curse. Grunkle Stan, you guys got your end covered?" Dipper turned to his elder, a fire in his eyes.

"Kid, don't even worry about me. You go see what else I mighta missed from the library, got it?" Grunkle Stan put a hand on Dipper's shoulder, his eyes looking into Dipper's, "we're going to fix this, you and I."

"I'm going too," Mabel decided, finally speaking, catching most of them off guard as she tried pushing herself off the ground.

"Sweetheart, you should probably just stay here for now," Stan said carefully, his gruff voice doing its best to convey concern.

"I want to go with my brother," she said stronger.

"Mabel, we'll be right back, okay?" Dipper told her, stepping to his sister, who jumped a little when he placed his hand on her shoulder, "I'm not going for long, okay?"

"But- but I-" Mabel tried arguing. Dipper's fingers gripped her tightly enough to remind her of his honesty. He wouldn't be long, and she wouldn't be any help to them, not without seeing for herself. She let herself sigh and nodded to the direction she assumed Dipper was towards. "Just don't leave your stupid sister hanging, got it buster?"

"Wouldn't dream of it," Dipper gave her a quick but squeezing hug. Mabel felt his touch leave, and she heard a cluster of pairs of feet racing outside where transport to the town awaited.

"I should do something," Mabel nodded to herself as she stood there, wondering what to do with herself, and she turned half way to her right. "You guys have anything you need help with?"

"We're over here, sweetheart," Stan's voice called from directly behind her. Mabel nodded and shuffled again, "there ya go. Fully facing us."

"Well?" Mabel repeated, "someone be my taskmaster for a bit."

"Do you think it's a good idea if I have her help me on the roof?" Soos asked to Stan and Wendy, who, unknown to Mabel, gave him incredulous stares. "So that's a big noooo."

"I can always use help with... uh," Grunkle Stan looked around, and found a stack of neatly piled post cards, and tossed them to the floor, "Ah! My post cards! Gosh, I could sure use some help picking them up in an orderly fashion: my old man back can't reach down that far!"

"I'll take what I can," Mabel sighed, having heard Grunkle Stan cause the mess himself.

"Right. And then, uh... Wendy, you make sure she stays busy," Stan told his employee strongly. Wendy looked down to the younger teenager, scooping up what she could of the post-cards, Mabel starting to hum a slow, sad tune.

"You got it, boss-man," Wendy nodded, one of the few times she had ever taken an order from her boss seriously.

"Right. Soos, the roof done yet? The contractors are coming tomorrow, so make sure everything looks like it still works," Stan said, wrapping his arm around his handy-man and pulling him from the room. Soos replied animatedly in the other room, leaving the two ladies alone to their work.

Wendy stood quietly, a hand cupping her other elbow as she stared with a concern. Her eyes scanned each small movement of Mabel, uncertain to her own next course of action. The younger teen could feel the eyes on her as she wrapped up her chore, and coughed into her hand. Upon the cough, Wendy noticed her quiet stares and turned cleared her throat as well, uncertainty pouring through her.

"So, what're we gonna do?" Mabel tried after clearing her throat.

"I, uh," Wendy stumbled over her words, looking around the shop quickly to think of something that Mabel could work on, "I think the shelves are dusty, but I'm not sure that giving you a duster is a good-"

"I got it!" Mabel cheered as she tossed the postcards in Wendy's direction, spilling them into the air like a cardboard explosion. Wendy tried catching them as much as she could while Mabel turned to where she thought she could find a duster, and instead ran into a key-chain rack in the middle of the floor; tripping over it. As she landed, she rolled to the side, and bumped into yet another rack, which collapsed onto her, spilling car license plates everywhere. "I don't got it," she mumbled sadly.

"Mabel, hold on a second," Wendy tossed the cards aside as she rushed to the buried teenager before her. The process of untangling the defeated sweater-clad girl was not entirely easy. Mabel's hair had gotten caught in the wire-warms of the racks, which Wendy had to pull out gently before removing anything other than the spilled products from atop Mabel.

"Wendy, what do I do?" Mabel asked as she felt the weight above her slowly vanishing.

"Well, for one, maybe you should start taking a leaf out of your brother's book," Wendy told her as she finally pulled off one of the wracks from Mabel, "and look before you- ohhh," Wendy caught herself as Mabel turned her face to Wendy's direction, lips thin as she gave the redhead a closed eye glare, "you know, before you leap. Sorry," Wendy added a put a hand to her face holding her shame.

"It's okay... besides, that sounds boring," Mabel replied, sticking her tongue out plainly, "I live for excitement!"

"And being buried under souvenir racks?" Wendy asked as she lifted the second tower from Mabel, "Dude, there isn't any shame on taking it easy, you know."

"I don't need to change for this," Mabel replied, pushing herself off the ground before Wendy had a chance to offer her any of her own assistance, "this isn't that big of a deal. I mean, I can still hear and smell and stuff, right?" Mabel tried chuckling, wobbling for a moment when she regained her footing. Wendy looked at her brown haired friend, and even though Mabel couldn't see a thing, she could feel a strangely understanding stare coming from her. It was enough for her mind, infinitely ready to deny personal struggle and stress, to wonder if she could really handle this. "Any more of that advice?" Mabel gasped after a moment of gently tucking her lips in her mouth, chewing them in nervousness.

"You want my opinion?" Wendy asked, uncertainty pouring through her, "Mabel, I'm not exactly the best source of information on how to deal with... you know."

"But you're smart, right?" Mabel took a step towards Wendy's voice, "I bet you'd know what to do about a curse like this! You swing around tree like it's nothing- like a Jane of the jungle!"

"I don't know, dude," Wendy rubbed the back of her head, "my first bet would be to find out how to get rid of that egg-thing, and then hand it back to the Fairies or whatever. Maybe they'll lift the curse or whatever," Wendy reasoned as she looked out the windows, presumably in a direction the fairies could be located.

"There's no promise that they'll let me my sight back and stuff if I do though, is there?" Mabel huffed, folding her arms along her stomach as she considered. "Tough luck for me."

"It could be worse," Wendy quickly replied. Mabel turned to her direction, and the redhead blushed, "Okay, it's pretty bad."

"It's not just sight, remember? I can't sneeze or anything or cough or... anything!" Mabel grabbed her shoulders as she remembered the final warning of Jingle-Blossom, "And I can't shiver. She was really happy telling me that one, the jerk."

"Then no dusting for you," Wendy decided, taking note of where the broom was, by a corner, "or you'll be dealing with worse than just being blind."

"Right," Mabel nodded. Her mind hadn't been prepared for the shift in weight, and she stumbled, "Ack!" Wendy was fast to respond, catching her by the arms to stabilize her. As Mabel felt herself gain proper footing again, the side of foot nudged something. "What's that?" she asked, gentling nudging the side of what felt like cardboard.

"Your stuff for your door," Wendy answered, bending down, "I think you left it here after your friends got here."

"Oh, shoot!" Mabel snapped her fingers, having completely forgotten about her little side-project, "Ugh! It's going to a million times harder to make something that perfectly captures Dipper and me when I can't even see it!" Mabel sat down and she felt Wendy do the same. "Maybe I should just toss it now, since I can't finish it."

"Mabel," Wendy spoke soothingly to little avail. Mabel was holding her knees to her, resting her head against her arms as she drowned in pitiful thoughts. It felt like there was nothing she could currently do. A huge stamp had been smashed onto Mabel's soul; this curse labeled her as absolutely fragile, and she couldn't get over that. Then Mabel felt a hand on her shoulder, and she gasped. Wendy sighed as she looked to Mabel, her green eyes looking to her with a weight not usually found in the redhead. "Dude, I'm not going to say this sucks, but we're going to get past it," Wendy told her.

"I don't know," Mabel mumbled, "No offense Wendy, but it's not like you're really going through anything like this... I feel pretty crummy now," Mabel admitted.

"Well... no, I guess I don't know anything about losing your sight and stuff, but I know what it's like losing something important to you," Wendy stated strongly. Mabel blinked, actually blinked, and shook her head. She had quickly seen a vision of someone in town, reading into a book, but then snapped her eyelids closed again. Wendy's words still rang in her head.

"What do you mean?" Mabel asked.

"I... uh, well, I kind of lost all my friends over the past year or so," Wendy told Mabel quietly, actually turning her head to the hallway to see if anyone was there.

"What?" Mabel gasped, "but you had like, a gazillion buddies!"

"Yeah, we just sort of realized we weren't all going to be staying around, you know?" Wendy said quietly and clearly, still trying to keep her voice minimal, "I mean, Nate and Lee are heading to different colleges, Tambry is going to move out of town soon with her family, and then Thompson-"

"But then who have you been hanging out with at school?" Mabel asked.

"Eh, I got a few people who I still chat with, you know? It's, uh, been kind of hard to get through school in the past year. And then I'm now trying to get some scholarships for college-"

"You're going to COLLEGE!?" Mabel gasped, trying to stand up, and falling on herself. Her energy was not deterred though, and she tried again, this time standing up fully, her arms at her cheeks, "You mean, like, that adult thingy-college!?" Wendy had laughed at Mabels determination to stand.

"Yeah dude," Wendy grinned, "I mean, logging is fine, but I wanted to go learn something cool, you know?" Wendy scratched the back of her neck as she spoke. Her eyes darted then to the box next to Mabel, and a huge spark of an idea erupted in her mind. "Hey, I could totally help with the door stuff you know."

"Huh?"

"I can be your seeing eye-artist," Wendy offered her services with a grin, pulling out the collected magazines that Mabel had deemed worthy of her attention, and the many cut-outs she already had gotten to. "I won't have that same touch to it all that you do, but we can keep the project alive while we try fixing this craziness, right?"

Again Mabel blinked, her eyes flashing with the vision of a life that didn't belong to her. She shook her head and closed her eyes, uncertain to her proposition. It wasn't that she didn't trust Wendy- she understood Mabel's artistic qualities well enough. It was just saddening to think that she couldn't complete this project on her own. Somewhere deep in her brain, a tiny Mabel voice shot up. The tiny Mabel cried in her head, "Collaborations are the best-orations!" and Mabel cracked a smile.

"Hold on," Mabel told Wendy, who had begun to pull over papers and cut outs around her and she sat back down, "I'm totally for this plan, so I'm going to need to find your eyes."

"So you're going to start trying to see again?" Wendy asked, a huge grin growing across her face. She had somehow gotten to Mabel, and watcher her flutter her eyelids rapidly.

"Maaaybe," Mabel cheekily admitted, "I may not be able to see this silly thing constantly, but I'm doing it for the sake of the door! It needs sprucing up!" The two girls laughed, and Mabel gasped. She had finally found Wendy's vision, and could see herself being looked at. "Ble-ugh! I'm a mess! Why didn't anyone tell me my hair looked like a twisted ball of yarn?"

"I think we figured you had enough stuff going on in your mind," Wendy smirked as Mabel tried her best to smooth-en out and straighten her hair, and was able to eventually coordinate her hands to the vision Wendy provided. "Ready for this project?"

"You know it!" Mabel cheered.

Half an hour passed as the two ladies sat on the floor, chatting and putting together a very Mabel-like collections of papers to place on her door upstairs. Goofy, nonsensical, positive, colorful pages were completed in the name of door-decorations. One that Wendy pleasantly reminded Mabel would be reserved for Dipper was mildly decorated on with a question marks and a flying saucer and a picture of a cartoony ghost. Mabel, who had to occasionally find Wendy again after she had blinked, came to adore the work she had completed with her older assistant.

Only a few minutes after completing the project, the teenage trio returned, laden with more books than, according to Candy, the library had ever let be rented out at once. Over forty books, divided by the three teens, had been called to arms in the battle to discover a solution. Dipper's eyes, as Mabel finally could see them through Wendy, looked the most driven they had ever been since they had come to Gravity Falls. Placing her art work aside, Mabel followed her brother into the living room with the Grenda and Candy, and sat along side them as they began to take notes. Wendy soon joined forces, reading several books herself as hours passed.

"I thought reading about magic and stuff would be exciting," Grenda said after an hour, cracking her neck loudly, "this is boring! It's worse than my intro to biology textbook!"

"We just need mentions of anything related to Fairies, curses, or spells that involve cleansing stuff. Maybe potions too," Dipper told her, looking at a neat sheet of paper on the floor next to him which contained paraphrased notes from the number three journal.

"I feel like these words are just little dots now," Grenda said as she stared angrily at the page, "my eyes haven't done this much reading since I waited until the hour before exams to study."

"I remember that," Candy nodded as she flipped a page, adjusting her glasses as she took down another note, "you looked like you were in much pain."

"I feel like I'm in much pain!" Grenda groaned, pulling her face down with her hands, stretching her skin.

"Well, how do the notes look so far?" Dipper asked, looking up from his own records, "So far I've found several indications that removing a fairy from your body requires salt to be thrown at its feet."

"But it's a pixie," Mabel stated from her comfy seat above Dipper, "I don't know it even has feet."

"They don't like metal stuff?" Grenda tried aloud as she looked into a book, "Maybe you should swallow an iron marble, Mabel."

"I've already tried that," Mabel addmitted, "I've eaten plenty of stuff I thought would have it react to it," Mabel sadly added, slouching into the chair further. "Candy?" she asked, aware her friend in glasses hadn't spoken.

"I've thought of something," the black haired girl said slowly, "but I don't think we can do it."

"Well, it can't be worse than anything we've got so far," Dipper shrugged as he focused on Candy Chiu, "hit us with it."

"Pixies are un-animated Fairies, or have yet to be born," Candy began her hypothesis slowly, "which means it won't move on its own yet. If it can't move it ourselves, we need it to make it move by itself."

"But a pixie just floats around- like, shoosh," Mabel lifted her arms at her sides, and glided in her seat, "it didn't look like it did anything other than bob around."

"Then we make sure it can move," Candy stated finally.

"I don't follow," Grenda grunted, but then Dipper gasped and clapped his hand against his head. "What? Am I missing something in the notes?"

"Of course! Candy's right!" Dipper exclaimed.

"What is going on? Did Candy hold up a picture!? I wanna see it!" Mabel declared, blinking her eyes rapidly to find one of their visions to borrow.

"No, no, I mean that if an un-animated fairy cannot move, and we cannot move the fairy, we must then allow it to move on its own. So-"

"So," Dipper continued in Candy's place, "we animate the fairy."

"What!?" Grenda and Mabel gasped.

"Can that even happen?" Mabel asked quickly, jumping out of her chair, wanting to see whatever plan she heard Dipper scribbling down on a piece of paper, almost tripping over Candy. "Whoops! Close one, huh?"

"So, we know Pixies can be animated," Dipper started, as Mabel got on her knees between Grenda and Candy, staring in the direction of Dipper, "from what the journal stated, it's a process where Fairies gather positive energies, and bind it to a pixie, and then the pixie wakes up and is alive from that point."

"So do we just make people laugh around Mabel?" Grenda scratched her head as she asked.

"No, that can't be right," Dipper groaned, a poor realization stunning his train of thought, "if it was that simple, Mabel would have been able to make this thing alive by now, for sure. She's a freaking cannon-ball of joy."

"Destructive and positive. I like that," Mabel nodded as she gave the analogy a consideration, "nice one, Dip."

"Then what do we do? If Mabel isn't enough-" Candy began to think aloud, and like Dipper, had a moment of clarity, "unless we need to quantify the positive emotions."

"Quanit-fee-fie-foo-what?" Mabel turned towards Candy, and Dipper chuckled.

"She means bind it to something we can work with- like turning good vibes into actual chocolate or something," Dipper explained, trying to give an example.

"Can... can such a glorious thing happen?" Mabel gasped, her face widening in a her incredible awe.

"Feelings into chocolate," Grenda held herself in her arms, her eyes to the ceiling. Mabel and Grenda clearly had the same idea, as the two of them almost started drooling at the concept of a kind of action where by merely feeling good, chocolate goodness would be created before you. It was a thought they both wouldn't let go, even as Dipper looked between them with raised eyebrows.

"I feel a judging stare," Mabel declared, "Dipper-"

"Anyway," Dipper interrupted the two ladies daydream, "I haven't seen anything like this in the books here, but we haven't been looking for-"

"Why not just get a fairy to do it for you?" a new voice asked from the corner. The three seeing teens turned, and Mabel craned her head anyway, to face Wendy, who was leaning on the counter.

"They cursed her!" Grenda told Wendy with conviction.

"I know, but unless you have a way to solve this sooner without them, we really should consider asking them for help. They'll get their little pixie back, and Mabel might get to see again," Wendy stepped into the room. Dipper got a chance to have a good look at Wendy. There was a nervousness about her; her eyes seemed a little more desperate to get them to agree to this plan than Wendy normally did- for anything. She held a copy of the local paper at her side, clutched tightly as she looked at Mabel.

"Wendy, what's going on?" Dipper asked, standing up, "you act like we don't have much time or stuff. Even if she looses hearing, we can still-"

"You're not going to believe this," Wendy quietly said, puckering her lips in worry as she held up the paper, "I didn't notice it this morning, but you wouldn't believe what Toby posted on the papers!"

"Huh?" Grenda leaned closer to the ink, her eyes squinting as she tried reading aloud, "Local boy looses tooth in ice-cream: eats it anyway to chagrin of supposed tooth-fairy?"

"No, the big stories?" Wendy pointed with her other hand to the very large picture on front, where the capture members of the Five Freaky Friends sat in jail, angrily staring at the photographer.

"Captured thieves are to be released later today, as their bail has been posted and quickly paid- WHAT!?" Dipper shot up instantly, snatching the paper from Wendy as he read aloud, "police were excited to announce the purchase of their second bouncy-castle in regards to the bail money. Heroes that captured the robbers were unavailable for questioning regarding this news. Well," Dipper said to Wendy, "at least he didn't mention us by-"

"Look, there!" Wendy growled, and pulled the paper so everyone could see it, "right there," she pointed to the end of the story, "if you wish to congratulate the heroes who were able to foil these crazy crooks, go to the Gravity Falls Mystery Shack and inquire for the Pines Twins."

"Oh... oh no," Dipper gasped as the problems all sunk in. There was a band of criminals back on the streets, for one thing. The more pressing issue was that the papers literally pointed anyone who wanted to see their detainees right to Dipper and Mabel. She could take care of herself, and Dipper was almost out of the bandages on his arm, but she was blind and her other senses were also vulnerable to being lost. "This is bad!"

"Hey!" A new voice called into the room, and Grunkle Stan poked his head around, "What's the word on curing Mabel? Based on the sounds you've all been making and the looks on your faces... not good."

"Not exactly," Dipper told him, "We're working on something, but we've got worse stuff going on than just the curse."

"A gang of robbers is coming for Dipper and Mabel!" Grenda shouted bluntly.

"What?!" Grunkle Stan shouted, his body tensing up as he looked to his two young relatives.

"Newspaper are going to lead them to me!" Mabel said worriedly, wringing her hands, "I know I said 'death take me', but I didn't mean it literally!"

"This came out today?" Stan rounded on Wendy, prying the papers from her and reading them quickly himself, "Determined, if I ever get my hands on you... ugh! Okay, I got some good news at least," Grunkle Stan turned to the gang, "I think we can get this curse thing off you if we just bring the pixie to life. Sounds crazy, I know-"

"That was our plan," Dipper cut off his grand-uncle, "we're just not sure if that's enough to get Mabel off the curse."

"Oh. Well, good thing I could be _soo_ helpful," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "at least we know what we need to do, right?" Stan asked, looking expectantly at Dipper and the others.

"Uh," Dipper started, not entirely sure of a plan, "uh-"

"We're going to go talk to the fairies," Mabel declared suddenly, drawing the others attention to her, "It's not like we can be fairy foster parents; we don't know magic! Well, maybe not fairy magic," she added, recalling their various dabbing of dangerous spells and incantations in the past, "but if there's someone who can help, it would be a fairy!" Mabel stated proudly, smiling in her conclusion.

"Sweety, they did curse you, you know," Grunkle Stan reminded her, "and not in the verbal way."

"Who else knows how to animate a fairy? Do you know how, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked, leaning in to her Grunkle, giving the direction of his face a raised eyebrow. When they gave her no answer, she said, "I didn't think so. So, unless someone else has a better idea, I say we go find those pretty little people and tell them to help a Mabel out."

"I..." Dipper tried arguing. There were flaws with this plan, too many flaws and unknown possibilities: the fairies wouldn't want to talk them probably, or they couldn't find the fairies, and there was no guarantee still that they would lift the curse should they help Mabel. Lastly, and Dipper found this particularly troubling; if they had considered this just now: why hadn't the fairies considered trying to animate the pixie, instead of cursing Mabel? Wouldn't it have made sense to rescue it and leave, rather than picking a fight with a human? But with their time a little more pressed, Dipper sighed, and finally nodded while saying, "It's the best we've got right now."

"Awesome!" Mabel cheered, shooting a fist above her with a little jump, "Let's go on a... on a..." Mabel opened her eyes again, fear shining through her brown pupils as she heaved again and again, and finally sneezed. The four other watched her with dread, and Mabel stared ahead, not seeing them still with her wide open eyes. "Uh..." she slowly murmured, and sniffed the air. To her surprise, she caught a whiff of something saucy and loaded with cheese. "Mmm, Pizza!" she announced loudly, and sniffed again, but then gagged, "Oh- Not pizza! Blech! Different smell, ew, ew, ew!"

"Just breathe with your mouth," Dipper told his sister with a small chuckle.

"Puh. Great, another lost sense," Mabel grumbled sadly. Dipper gave his sister a knowing look, and approached her. With a quick step to her side, he wrapped his arm around her own.

"Ready to go find those little jerks?" Dipper asked as Mabel gave him a calmed smile. She nodded, her mind excited just at the prospect of possibly being rid of this stupid curse already. Dipper's arm tugged her gently as he stepped forward, leading her to the front of the building.

"Wendy, we're staying here," Stan said from behind the two, placing a hand on her shoulder, "let the kids figure this one out."

"They could need our help," Wendy pointed out.

"Yup. That's why you all have half an hour, you hear me?" Stan warned them as the four teens stepped out the front door carefully with Mabel, "no excuses! The second after your time's up, I'm going in with my guns. And I don't mean my arms!"

"We'll be back, Grunkle Stan," Dipper waved over his shoulder as turned to assure his grand uncle of their safety, "just keep an eye out for those robbers."

Mabel hadn't taken but a step into the perimeter of the woods when a burst of static struck the four teens arms. The each gasped, stepping back while looking for the sudden source of electricity. Mabel had blinked, and her vision set upon a new pair of eyes while a small blue light flickered out of the woods.

"We thought you'd try this," came a very high pitched voice, as a tiny man with dragonfly wings bobbed into the air.

"Is that Binkie-Moon?" Grenda asked, and the Fairy rose up to her face, and glared into her, which was much less intimidating than the fairies intent.

"Twinkle-Moon, young lady," Twinkle moon growled as he flew back, still the size of an expected fairy, no larger than a small mouse.

"What the heck's with zapping us?" Dipper demanded, "I wasn't aware that your curse also had a sub-section of preventing us from going where we're allowed to go."

"Yes, that's why I'm here. Under normal circumstances, curses, like the ones laid on Mabel here," Twinkle-Moon indicated to Mabel, who was staring ahead as she watched a scene, absorbed in her visual senses, "are used as trackers. We only curse fairies who have committed dangerous crimes, and so we place borders around our forests to warn us should they be crossing our lands. It's supposed to knock them out, but you all seem relatively unscathed."

"Oh, look," Dipper looked to Grenda and Candy with a sardonic grin, "the fairy who let my sister get cursed was worried about us."

"I am doing my job as law interpreter," Twinkle-Moon argued his case defiantly, sounding more and more like a squeaking rodent or tiny insect, "as you were not made aware to our custom, it became imperative that I alert you to our border stun-field. It's the magic field you just passed that lets us known when-"

"Why haven't you switched to your taller self?" Candy interrupted suddenly.

"I- what?" Twinkle-Moon gaped.

"You're not taller. Why not? You're quite hard to listen to when you're this small," Candy tried saying carefully. Her intent to avoid insulting the diminutive creature failed, and his tiny face grew visibly red.

"At least I don't sound like some lumbering beast that can't-" Twinkle-Moon hastily grumbled under his breath, and continued, "as I said, the magical field alerts us to the passing of cursed individuals into our lands- but we didn't inform you, so-" a loud cry from Mabel had the group turn to her.

"Oh no," Mabel blinked, but kept her eyes open as she once again started to seek a new host, "oh no! We really, really are running on fumes for time!"

"Mabel?" Dipper asked worriedly.

"They're almost here," Mabel told her friends.

Behind them, just by the Mystery Manor, the sound of a vehicle echoed around; the sounds of gravel being tossed and scrapped against one another paired with the mild screeching of a tire. A large, rusted white-panel van had appeared, and to the horror of the group, five men, each tall and rather well built stepped out. They had the clean, unmistakable look of murderous intent.

"Get down!" Grenda warned, pushing down the twins as she and Candy dove behind a large tree. As the twins crawled behind a thick bush, Dipper poked his head above the leaves while Candy and Grenda looked around the trunk. The five robbers approached the Mystery Manor, looking between one another. Each had short hair, but they each had a different appearance. One was very tall and lanky, while another was short and portly, and another had very wide shoulders and was quite muscular. Their head, a man of average height but a large belly. He knocked on the door to the Manor, and waited. Soos answered, a wide grin on his face.

"Hello guests to the Gravity Falls Mystery Manor! Home of mysteries and stuff," Soos exclaimed happily to them, who seemed unimpressed, "we're the world famous tourist attraction for all your weird wants, crazy cravings, and zany... uh... zany..."

"We're looking for the twins who are supposed to be here," the head of the five declared, but leaned back as Soos held a hand up, scratching his head through his cap.

"Hold on," Soos held a hand up, still thinking, "zany... zany... you guys got anything that can go with a word with 'Z'?"

"Zoo?" One of the shrugged.

"Zebra?" another tried, and Soos nodded.

"Zany Zebras. Oh, that sounds better, yeah," Soos nodded, "I'm sorry to inform you, the Mystery Manor is closed for renovations. Like, I fell through the roof like fifteen times this week; pretty craaa-zaaay."

"We're not interested in a tour, or whatever this blatant tourist trap is. We want to, uh, speak to the twins who helped the police earlier this week," the leader explained loudly.

"We're going to beat them up!" the one with large shoulders growled, but the tall one, behind him, smacked his head, and he let off a series of hacking coughs, "I mean, beat them at a game because we wanted to... play games. Yeah."

Before Soos could reply, Stan pushed his way out from past Soos. Having heard the larger man's response, he stood his tallest, presenting himself as a large barrier to the building behind him.

"Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to shove off," Grunkle Stan told them, taller than their leader as he was able to look down on him, his aged face furrowing with deliberation.

"Shove off, huh?" the front man of the group repeated, a vein twitching in his temple.

"Yeah, you heard me. They aren't here, and even if they would, you wouldn't get a chance to see them, you messed up maniacs," Stan told them off, pushing Soos back inside as he stepped backwards, "now get lost before I call the police and let them know their favorite gang of losers stopped by."

"You don't seem to understand," another member, a short, well built man growled, stepping up behind the portly man, "that there's five of us, and what, two of you?"

"I've had worse odds than you freaks," Stan said after giving them a look over and then slamming the door in their faces.

"Strugs," the head of the group said after a stunned pause in the crooks, "break their door down-"

"Wait," the tall man turned, having spotted something in the direction of the kids, who ducked when he turned his head to them, "boss, I think I just saw someone over there."

"So what?" the boss replied angrily.

"Looked like kids, you know, teenagers," the tallest man said particularly loudly. The four hiding in the woods exchanged scared faces, with exception of Mabel.

She had heard the tone in these people's voices. They really were willing to hurt Grunkle Stan, Soos, or Wendy if they thought it would get her and Dipper to come out for them to mess up. If they stayed hidden, the four kids may have a chance to avoid being spotted, but the three inside didn't stand a chance. Well, maybe they did- Grunkle Stan and Wendy both kept surprising everyone with their ability to walk out of tight spots mostly unscathed.

Even if they did have a chance to walk out of this, Mabel dared herself to think of how she would feel if she let them become hurt to protect her. Just on principle of the idea of her Grunkle or anyone inside that building getting hurt for her sake, her stomach dropped and her chest tightened.

Mabel knew she couldn't let them get into the shack. She grabbed Dipper's hand.

"What on earth is going on?" Twinkle Moon demanded, floating to Dipper and Mabel, who ignored him.

"Dipper, we need to run," Mabel told her brother. Dipper looked to her, his fingers tightening around her hand.

"I got the same idea," Dipper told her with a worried sigh, and he turned to the other two, "we need to pull them away from the Mystery Manor. When I give the cue, run into the woods. Make as much noise as you want a first, then just try to get away. Okay?"

"I understand," Candy nodded, and then adjusted her glasses.

"Let's show these suckers what it's like running through the woods," Grenda replied.

"Wait, if you go into the woods, will those men follow?" Twinkle Moon gasped, looking past the bush to the five men, who were preparing to charge into the tourist trap.

Mabel laughed nervously. She couldn't help herself. The four of them hiding behind a bush and a tree, about to go running into the woods for her life. It was scary and exhilarating, but it was the kind of plans she was used to by now. She sighed in once, using her training to remember her breathing technique for a nice, slow, steady stream of air. She exhaled and squeezed Dipper's hand once more.

"Now!" Dipper hissed, knocking aside Twinkle Moon accidentally, as the four of them darted into the woods.

The men by the shack had reacted exactly as they had predicted. Two of them cried out, calling in their direction as the four ran between trees and branches, deeper and deeper into the woods. As the birds and forest critters around them scattered and fled from their ruckus, four of the members ran after them, demanding they stop.

Minutes passed as the teens ran between areas of the woods, trying to avoid the crooks. For the most part it was easier- their smaller height made it easier to avoid the larger, low branches that the thicker areas of the woods had in plenty. But Grenda struggled keeping in pace, as her size made it increasingly difficult to keep up and keep breathing- she was a weight lifter, not a jogger. Mabel also was getting scratched up and was tripping on a lot of roots. Dipper was doing a fantastic job of keeping her mostly unharmed, but she would occasionally twist her head in a direction, thinking she heard the robbers from there. As a result, she would smack her head against thin, whip-like branches. She slowly collected scrapes across her face and neck.

"They're... still... coming!?" Dipper gasped after the four slid to a stop by a very large fallen tree over a rushing river, "Grenda, Candy, do you think you can get around them and back to the shack?"

"Of course!" Candy nodded, and patted Grendas shoulder, who was heaving and could only nod for Dipper.

"Okay, good luck!" Dipper called as the robber's voices grew closer. "Mable, let's go!"

"Gotcha!" Mabel said, letting herself be pulled again.

"Step here," Dipper hastily told her, stepping on the log, which was long enough to actually pass over a large section of a river below them, "and if you're going to fall, tell me."

"Huh? Do I hear water below?" Mabel gasped.

"Yeah," Dipper told her, looking behind him. Just in the distance, he could see movement in the undergrowth. "Oh no..." Dipper looked to the other side of the river, where a large, single bush waited for them. Even if they made it to that bush, their hunters would just come looking for them in that bush. They needed a diversion. "Mabel, run straight," Dipper told her as he pulled her ahead. Mabel followed orders, and they landed on the other side of the riverbed. "I need you to trust me now, okay?"

"Huh?" Mabel asked, now panicking- she knew that voice he just used. It was that kind of tone he used when he knew he was about to do something stupid, "Dipper-"

"No matter what you hear, stay in this bush," Dipper said, gently having his sister sit down in the bush, "and don't say anything, no matter what!"

"Wait-" she froze up as she felt him stand up. She didn't want him to go anywhere, especially anywhere near those jerks on the other side of the river.

"Don't worry," he assured her with a rub her hair, "I've got a plan!" and then he ran off, "Hey!" Dipper called, as his footsteps echoed from clanging on the log.

"There he is!" one of the robbers called, and Mabel placed a hand on her mouth. She couldn't believe it- was he planning on fighting them one-on-one on the log? Dipper was brave, but he wasn't stupid, or as trained as she was to think he should be able to.

"Mable, wait up!" Dipper called very loudly, and then Mabel gasped. There was a splash in the distance.

"Damn! He's going downstream!" another voice called out, "follow him!"

Mabel cupper her hand over her mouth to stifle her gasp as she felt the voices grow distant, as a cluster of dangerous, angry men chased after her brother. A brother who had just thrown himself into a fast flowing, freezing river. Mabel wanted to peek above this bush, see if was clear, and only felt the powerlessness of her situation to do even that. She sunk low into the earth, holding herself as the many voices of Mabel began their great debate.

What to do now? What _could_ she do now? She could head back over the log- the chances of seeing anyone now were small, and maybe she could get back to the Mystery Shack to have everyone back to help Dipper. But what if he comes back and she's not here? Mabel cringed at the mental image of Dipper's face if he looked around the bush and couldn't find her, defeated and wide-eyed. He'd probably assume they got her, and then just give up, the dumb boy. Would Dipper be okay? He just leapt into a river, and was being chased by four guys on foot, stronger and meaner than him. What was she supposed to do?

"Who's there?" a tiny, feminine voice called from around a tree nearby Mabel. Mabel gasped, and pushed herself further into the bushes. There was a fluttering of wings, and a groan. "Oh, it's you," a voice said in disgusted tones.

"Who is it?" Mabel shivered, aware she was speaking to a fairy, but unable to guess which it would be, "Bob, is that you?"

"Guess again, kidnapper," the voice spat at her.

"Jingle-Blossom," Mabel rolled her eyes behind her closed eyelids, and then she gasped. This was the fairy she was looking for still. "Hey, Jingle-Blossom, I need to talk to you!"

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"I know you hate me," Mabel said quietly, trying to keep her voice low to avoid being revealed, and then to speak sincerely to the small Fae before her, "and I probably deserve it. You think I stole your child, and that makes me a horrible person."

"So? Do you want forgiveness? I'm not in the mood for that," Jingle-Blossom told her heatedly, and Mabel could actually feel a sickly heat emanating from the fairy's direction.

"I thought you'd say that," Mabel sighed, "but I need you to understand something-"

"All I understand is that I can't have my child now, whenever I'd please, and that you're holding her ransom still!" Jingle-Blossom cried, and Mabel put a finger to her lips in a 'shh'.

"Quiet!" Mabel begged her.

"Why? Or those men will get you?"

"It's not just me they'd hurt if they got me," Mabel told her. The heat suddenly subsided, and Mabel took her chance, "they want me, but that doesn't mean they should hurt your baby! Do your crazy Fairy magic to help her out, and then take her away. She doesn't deserve to get hurt because of me."

"What... but I can't animate her," The Fairy sounded nervous, and her fluttering wings grew closer.

"Why not!?" Mabel demanded hurriedly.

"I... I'm not ready to be a parent," Jingle-Blossom told Mabel, "that's why I let my pixie drift. It could move freely around until I decided that it was time for me to become a mother."

"Oh," Mabel felt a twinge of regret deep inside her stomach, "Jingle-Blossom, I'm sorry... but I can't protect your pixie anymore! I can't see or smell anymore, and I don't know how long I have until I lose more senses."

"But your friends can protect my child," Jingle-Blossom stated, her standard tone of resentment and defiance returning, "why should I lift the curse for you?"

"Jingle-Blossom," Mabel reached out, and just by mere luck, managed to cup the small fairy in her hands, "you don't have to, okay? I get it. I want you to lift this stupid, sucky, spell that's totally ruining my life, but... if you're going to do anything, save the pixie?"

The pause was long and filled with the sounds of splashes of water passing by. All Mabel could do was hope this tiny being had enough pity on Mabel, and love for her yet-to-be-child that she would help.

"I..."

"I'm sorry," Mabel added, more guilt crashing on her, "I never wanted to force you to be a parent like this."

"I need to gather the good feelings," Jingle-Blossom declared, and he wings suddenly darted out from Mabel's hands.

"W-wait!" Mabel cried, and reached forward. At this point, any company would suit her better than being left in the woods. A few moments later, she was alone. Even the fading light sounds of twinkles that a fairy trailed when they floated away finally faded, and Mabel was left sitting in the bush.

She couldn't take it. Minutes passed with nothing but the sounds of passing river, and she gave herself a shaky nod. Standing up, she took a cautious step towards the log. Another, and another, until she felt her sneaker-clad foot touch the side of the dead wood. She gave herself one more deep sigh to balance herself, and then she calmly and steadily crossed the fallen log, her arms at her side.

Her weight hadn't accounted for the end of the log on the other side, and she stumbled forward, gasping as she reached her hands in front of her. Mabel could feel something just ahead of her, and she clutched ahead. Unfortunately, she misjudged the distance and jammed two of her fingers. A groan escaped her mouth as she hugged the tree and straightened herself up.

Maybe it was hitting the tree that loosened the droplet of water that fell down her back. Fate could not be as cruel as it was that moment, for Mabel, the instant she felt the tiny droplet, she tensed up and lunged forward, tripping on a root and slamming into the pine-needle covered ground. She had avoided shivering, but she then groaned. A sharp pain rose up through the entire side of her arm, and she yelled as she clutched it, feeling a faint trail of blood. Mabel gritted her teeth and pulled her arm away, the burning pain growing stronger with her touch. She had scraped her arm roughly against a root below her, but as she bit down on her molars, she felt a familiar sensation inside her head.

Both of her ears had popped.

The chirping of the birds, the rushing of the water, the breeze over her head, everything she had been clinging to so readily around her no longer could reach her. She could only feel the pain of her arm and the earth below her. Mabel forgot to breathe, the sense of total isolation more overwhelming and terrifying than anything she had ever encountered. Her lungs cried out for air, and she gave a shaking breath, one which she could feel would bring tears soon. She was alone now. Her legs pulled up to her arms, and she hugged herself, no longer remembering where she was.

People were out there to get her, and now she wouldn't even have a clue as to when they would come for her. Her eyes were glued shut, trying to stem the flow of tears falling from her eyes. There was nothing she could do about her rattling breathing, even as she wondered how long it would be until someone found her- friend or foe, just a pathetic mess of a person.

"Then don't feel," a voice deep inside her head suddenly told her. Mabel felt her lips open and a sharp intake of breath indicated she gasped. The memory of her mentor, once again reminding her of something she had known all this time. "Senses can be lied to. We just have to trust ourselves when they're being fooled."

"How do I trust myself if can't even believe what I see with my own googly-eyes?" Mabel had asked, tired from the exercise her teacher had her go through.

"We have to know ourselves; not just now how we feel," her master had grinned, patting her head, "know how we act, how we want things, and how we respond to the world."

"That sounds like more boring sitting," Mabel had replied.

"Meditation," her teacher corrected her. "Remember, that little light we see is more than just colors and a distant feeling. It's something more."

_Something more._ A flicker of hope passed over her mind as Mabel thought to the idea of what she could do. Sure she was blind, and deaf, and couldn't smell anything around her anymore, only left with the physical touch to inform her of her surroundings. Her hands stretched below her, she felt her way to the ground again, and sat down. Legs crossed, she began, once again, to let herself calm. For once, there was nothing but the feeling of her own being and the earth below her that called her attention. She could feel that light, supposedly distant and unreachable, within her grasp.

Her body calmed, the stress washing away as she took in breath after breath. That light was closer than it had ever been. She could almost feel the rays of its light washing over her. It was stunning to feel this sense of calm, and in her wonder, she considered if she could actually 'focus' her sight to someone. Anyone's senses, at this point, would be preferable, as opposed to being blind and deaf. She let her focus draw outward, and she thought about the surrounding forests. She then opened her eyes, and clenched her teeth as hard as she could and her ears crackled a little.

She could see into the woods again. It wasn't her vision, but someone was walking through the woods, and she heard rugged breathing. Her heart raced at the concept of having actually nailed it- she was able to grab someone in the woods. They didn't seem to be chasing after Dipper, or even running for that matter. The idea Mabel had after this thought was crazy. Heck, Dipper would have turned to her and told her it was just darn stupid to do what she was about to do. That wouldn't stop her though.

"HEY!" Mabel cried out. At least she felt her body tense up in the way she expected herself to when shouting. Then, barely half a second after she shouted, her voice found its way to the person. The person turned their head, and Mabel saw herself, her eyes wide open, looking away from the person.

"Well," the voice that spoke from the person wasn't one she knew, and it was one of pleasure and excitement, darker and meaner than Mabel had been praying for, "glad you could finally show yourself, missy."

"Crud," Mabel groaned, barely audible from the person as he approached her, cracking his knuckles just under his vision. The man stepped through a bush as she stood up. It was very odd to think of trying to move herself in accordance to another persons vision. Mabel wasn't entirely sure how to do it, but accustomed herself quickly, moving her arms wildly, even hopping on the spot as the man casually approached her.

"So, here's how this can happen, girl," the man said as he grew closer, "you tell me how it was you were clever enough to figure out my plans, or I'll convince you to do that with a little more... vigor."

"Oh, well that's easy," Mabel told him, still not facing him directly, looking ahead into the woods past the man as he finally was a few feet from her and stopped.

"Oh yeah? Let's hear it then," the man told her.

"I ate a pixie, and saw your plans through your own eyes," Mabel grinned, happy to tell the truth. However, the man closed his eyes and sighed, when he opened them, he took a step to her, leaning in, and she instinctively stepped away quicker.

"That's cute. Now, what's the truth?"

"That is the truth. I mean, I'm looking through your eyes right now!" Mabel told him, backing away while staring at his chest.

He made his move with a frustrated roar. Mabel had the luck of seeing the body tense up from his own eyes, and moved accordingly. She wove to his side, passing by a tree, and sadly to Mabel, out of his vision. The man spun as she blinked, and she re-focused again, letting her mind hone in on the area around here, and as she opened her eyes, she saw herself facing him, and she let herself grin.

"See? I don't need to watch you because I see everything you do," Mabel told him, "Like an eye-switching wizard! Eye-zard!"

The man clearly didn't enjoy the analogy. He again rushed at her, his body twisting for a powerful sweeping punch across her head. She ducked down, rolled forward, and prepared a leap back up, kicking behind her as she did. Her foot slammed into a soft region of his body, and she heard him shout. Her vision was now hobbling, and the man looked down to his leg. She had just kicked at his hamstring, and he clutched it.

"Whoops! Looks like nearly blind girl hit something she didn't mean to," Mabel shrugged to herself as the man looked to her, "and- whoa, my hair is a mess! Hold still for a second," Mabel told him, reaching behind herself as she ran her hands and fingers through her tangled hair, pulling it straight, and then as she saw through the man's eyes. She even spun, and gasped, catching a large knot on the exact center of the back of her head. "See? I couldn't have seen that without your help." As she faced away, she blinked, and again re-focused herself to see through his senses.

"That's enough," the man growled, standing back up, his hands reaching inside his pocket. Mabel knew she would only have a moment to act. As his vision darted to his pocket, she pushed herself forward in a run. By the time the man heard her attack, and turned up to see her, she was already mid-air.

Mabel swiped the air with her foot, smashing the side of the man's face. She almost forgot to land as her vision blanked out for a single moment and he roared, grabbing at his head, blocking the side of his vision. Mabel couldn't act again until he looked her way, but by the way he was cowering in the ground, she had made sure that wouldn't be happening.

"Ha, uh, so, you just stay down there, stupid. Yeah, or else you're going to get another helping of Mabel power!" Mabel called to him, sounding distant. "Wait, I'm not even facing the right way, am I? Shoot-" Mabel cut herself out. There was a loud rumbling boom from elsewhere. Her vision turned in the direction of the sound. There were screams now, running from the sounds of yet more echoing crashes and booms. Mabel's opponent stood up, still holding a hand to his injured head, and the two saw it at the same time.

Four full grown men, all members of the Five Freaky Friends, were running from an absolutely gigantic bear with, what Mabel could quickly count, at least six or seven heads and legs and paws. The man stumbled back, and tripped, giving Mabel a quick glance of the treetops, but she then regained her standard vision. She was able to spot herself briefly in the chaos, and step behind a tree as the five men stumbled together, facing the massive bear.

"MABEL!?" Dipper's voice shouted loudly as the five men huddled, caught between the sounds of the massive bear growling at them, and what Mabel had seen from the man's vision, a large log.

"Dipper! Watch out! There's a many-bear on the loose!" Mabel shouted aloud. She heard footsteps coming her way from the bear, but not loud or heavy enough to belong to the beast. Was Dipper just walking past the monstrous beast?

"Mabel," Dipper said, and Mabel felt a poke on her shoulder, "hey, I'm here."

"But- what's going on?" she asked, focusing all her attention on Dipper, and following procedures to get a new vision partner. She blinked, and she grinned to see herself through Dipper's eyes, and hear the world through Dipper's ears.

"I brought a friend. Let me introduce you to him," Dipper said, cupping her hand in his own, and leading her around the tree.

Just as Mabel had seen, Dipper was looking at a massive, multi-headed bear that easily towered over the men, not even standing on its hind legs. Each head was easily large enough to swallow a small child whole, and it growled angrily at the five men, who were at a loss as how to act, looking between the many heads.

"Multi-bear, this is my sister, Mabel," Dipper told the bear, looking to Mabel once, allowing her the chance to double-check her appearance, "remember, she's cursed so she can't see with her own eyes right now."

"I can see you, Mister Multi-bear!" Mabel announced, "I can see through Dipper right now."

"A pleasure to meet you," the bear turned away from the crooks, a 'primary' head speaking. It was the head mostly centered around what seemed to be the main shoulders of the bear, and gave a small smile to Mabel, its dark eyes peering at where Mabel was sure her face was. "DO NOT MOVE! I will not hesitate to take actions not deemed civil to restrain you." The bear roared suddenly. One of the crooks had started to move away, but as they discovered, its other heads were still watching them avidly. "You look much like your brother, Mabel Pines."

"Oh. My. God. You can talk!" Mabel hopped in place, excitement running through her entire body as Dipper looked between her and Multi-Bear, who seemed to enjoy Mabel's excitement, "that is so, sooo cool! How come you never introduced me to this guy!?" Mabel tried turning to Dipper, and spun the opposite direction to smack a tree. "Ow! Sorry tree," Mabel apologized, and then smacked Dipper as she spun again, and nailed his stomach with a slap.

"I'll get the formal information out later," Dipper told her, "but right now, we have these jerk-offs to deal with," Dipper walked with Mabel to be aside Multi-Bear, staring at the crooks. "Do we let him eat them? Or should we-"

"We found them!" a voice called from the distance. Dipper's eyesight moved to look past Mabel, and she turned her head in instinct. The rescue party had arrived- Grenda and Candy lead the charge with Stan and Soos following suit, a baseball bat in his hands while Stan had his shotgun in his arms.

"Uh... good bear," Grunkle Stan awkwardly said as his party arrived, looking at the six foot tall bear on all fours. "Don't eat us, I'm just trying to-"

"Do not worry, friends of Dipper," the bear informed them, shocking the five others as they arrived, "he has informed me that we would be receiving help. I will not harm you; you may approach."

"Oh... uh, thanks," Grunkle Stan nodded to the bear, and he turned his attention to the criminals. "So, you chumps, here's the deal. You walk back to my shack, where the cops will be waiting. You go quietly, or we all get a turn on each of you before we let jumbo over here go nuts on you. How's that plan sounding for ya?"

Multi-bear let out a earth trembling rumble by each of his heads, and the men looked like the blood in their faces were drained instantly. It was a unanimous decision by the five men: they would go quietly.

With Multi-bear in tow, the Gravity Falls team escorted the Five Freaky Friends to the Mystery Manor, where, once again, the entire Gravity Falls police department awaited the gang. Multi-bear waited in the woods while the humans did their job, explaining what had happened.

"Oh, don't worry," Sherriff Blubs informed the listening group, "they blew their chances coming after you all. These suckas are going to be spending a long, long time behind bars."

"Ohhh boyyy," Deputy Durland grinned excitedly at the last gang member being pushed into a patrol car, "I'm going to enjoy poking you with the stun stick!"

"I'm good thing you all were together when they decided to jump them, huh?" Sherriff Blubs stated, and gave a tip of his hat, "well, stay safe you kids. Mister Pines."

"Yeah, yeah, dramatic Police exit," Grunkle Stan waved the police off lazily, and turned to Mabel, who was seeing through Dipper still, "Sweety, you want to go inside? I'll treat us to something slightly-better than what we're used to eating."

"Huh? Oh, I'm okay. A little scratched up though," Mabel announced, pointing to her still wounded arm.

"Okay you two," Stan rounded on Grenda and Candy, "You two need to scram. You've been here practically all day, and I don't need your folks figuring out that I had you both around for this madness."

"Mabel may still need our help," Candy replied quickly, stepping next to her friend.

"Yeah! We still need to fix her curse!" Grenda agreed.

"Its okay guys," Mabel told them, "my Grunkle is right. We'll catch up later, okay?" Mabel asked them, a full smile on her face. She received a double sided hug as her two friends smashed her between their bodies, and her breath was knocked out of her. "Now that's bone crushing!" Mabel joked, air flowing back into her lungs.

"Bye guys!" Dipper told the two teens as they began climbing back into the Van belonging to Grenda's family. As the van departed, the deep steps of Multi-bear thundered behind them.

"It is good to know you have not lost yourself to age, Dipper," Multi-bear stated, "I had always worried that should I meet my only human friend you would have changed for worse."

"Ah, come on, man," Dipper said, laying a hand on the bridge of Multi-bears snout, "I'm still me. I'm just glad you're still around- running into the cave on the mountain was a gamble."

"Indeed. Many other creatures have tried inhabiting my cave in recent years," Multi-bear affirmed, "but none have been able to best me as you had. I have not forgotten your humility when defeating me."

"Huh?" Grunkle Stan and Mabel both stated at once. Had Dipper, in some way or form, beaten this creature of unearthly size? Surely he meant in a mental match.

"Hey, it was a misunderstanding," Dipper rubbed the back of his head as he spoke to the bear, "you know we're buds, right?"

"Otherwise, I would probably would not have aided you, my friend," Multi-bear nudged Dipper's chest with his nose, accidentally pushing Dipper back with his strength. Dipper laughed, giving the monstrous creature a welcoming rub on his ears. "I must depart. The night is coming, and I am certain the Manotaurs will attempt to plague me again this night with their incessant hollering. Dipper, Mabel, Stanley, I bid you a good day," Multi-bear bowed his head, and turned, his body rocking as he walked back into the woods.

"Goodbye! Stop by whenever!" Mabel cheered after the bear, facing the wrong way.

"Not without a warning!" Grunkle Stan shouted quickly following Mabel, "you know, in case a tourist is in. Don't need them seeing that. Ruin business and what not."

"Wow... that was the sweetest monster I think we've ever met," Mabel said in awe, watching the bear leave through Dipper's eyes, "well, except Mermando."

"Mermando was fine, but Multi-bear is awesome," Dipper stated as the bear vanished into the brush. "I should go see him later or something," Dipper added, nodding at his idea as he stared after his inhuman friend.

"I wanna come!" Mabel declared.

"I don't know," Dipper sighed as he thought, "I mean, he just met you... then again when we first met, I tried to put a spear into his heart, so... I guess you got a better impression on him than I did."

"You two have some pretty crazy stories," Grunkle Stan admitted as Dipper turned away from the woods.

"Not as crazy as yours," Dipper poked his Grunkle, who chuckled. The older man adjusted his glasses, and then looked past Dipper. His humored grin faded, and Dipper turned. Mabel saw exactly the same thing- a single, pink bobbing light approaching them, with two other lights behind the first

"Oh great," Dipper growled, "them again."

"The fairies?" Grunkle Stan growled, "let me get the bug-spray."

"No! Wait," Mabel demanded, pushing past Dipper accidentally, but he turned and caught her before she stumbled and fell," they're not here to cause any trouble. I think."

"Good. Because that's when the bug spray comes out," Grunkle Stan warned Mabel, and turned to watch the approaching tiny beings. They came to float directly before Dipper and Mabel.

"Ah," Twinkle-Moon cleared his throat, as he fluttered ahead of Jingle-Blossom, who seemed more diminutive than she had ever before, "we would like to discuss the terms of your curse, Mabel Pines."

"I'm listening," Mabel nodded, Dipper helping her to turn and face the small humanoids.

"In accordance to Fairy law, someone in physical possession of a Pixie is the supreme authority on its wellbeing, and therefore-"

"WHAT!?" Dipper shouted, almost knocking the fairies out of the air with his burst, "You kind of dropped the ball in letting us know that one!"

"We were under the impression humans had a similar law!" Bob the fairy soared to Dipper with a plea in his voice, "it was along the lines of 'finders keepers'?" Dipper slapped his hand to his face.

"That's a stupid expression kids use when they steal stuff to make it sound better," Dipper told them, his hand muffling his voice.

"Well, regardless of origin," Twinkle-Moon continued, "under suggestion of Jingle-Blossom, we have come to a new offer. Events in the forest have proven that you clearly are willing to protect the Pixie even after being cursed, and as such, we would like to ask permission for Jingle-Blossom to awaken her child."

"Yes! I agree! As long as the curse put on me goes away forever," Mabel asked carefully.

"You were protecting my child," Jingle-Blossom stated, fluttering closer to Mabel, a sincere voice speaking the words that Mabel had not heard the fairy speak before, "I believe you never wanted to hurt it now. You have my promise to remove the curse."

Mable felt, for the millionth time that day, tears slide down her cheeks. She nodded, and she felt tiny hands reach against her neck, and a bubbling warmth radiated through her skin. It was almost enough for her to cough. But the sensation grew, and she seized up. It wasn't going to be a cough, but a sneeze, and she let it fly. A blast of sparkling energy and rainbows blasted out of Mabel's nose and mouth, along with it, a tiny, skinny, pale-pink, tiny winged, human-looking fairy.

Mabel wiped her eyes and blinked. Her brain finally processed her own vision for the first time in an entire day- she could hear from her own ears again, and she let in a deep whiff from her nose, and smelled that same fairy-smell she had before. It was the most liberating and freeing sensation she had ever felt.

"Oh, my baby," Jingle-Blossom quietly moaned, fluttering over to her newly animated child. Shockingly, the fairy was even larger than her mother, "oh my baby!" she hugged the disoriented new-born fairy.

"Do all fairies look like they are adults when they're born?" Dipper asked Bob.

"Of course. We don't really have children, as you humans do. Our young are entirely decided by how long they have lived as we do," Bob explained as the newborn shook its head.

"Wow. I want to do that again!" the fairy declared, trying to fly back to Mabel.

"No, no, sweety, you need to pick a name, if you want to. Do you want to pick a name for yourself?" Jingle-Blossom pulled her child back, and looked into its eyes.

"Name? Name..." it looked at Mabel, and its eyes fell onto her sweater, "Rainbow-Star!"

"Welcome to the world, Rainbow-Star," Jingle-Blossom hugged her child, "have you decided if you want to be a boy or girl yet?"

"Okay, that's an option for fairies?" Dipper asked.

"Of course it is!" Bob spluttered, "what, are humans born without an option or something sick like that?"

"Uh..." Dipper wasn't entirely sure how to reply to his outcry.

"Thank you, Mabel," Jingle-Blossom nodded to the teen, "I am so sorry for the pain I must have caused you. Please, remember that you kept safe my child-"

"Girl! I'm going to be a girl!" Rainbow-Star declared.

"-My daughter," Jingle-Blossom said, teary-eyed, tightly hugging her daughter.

"Goodbye," Mabel waved to the fairies as they left the property, disappearing into the woods one fairy more than they had come with. "You know, they aren't all that bad once you get past the whole 'they cursed you for a day' sort of thing."

"Carry bug spray for now on, just in case we run into them again?" Dipper asked his sister, and she turned to him.

"Ab-so-lutely," she nodded. The last signs of the flying balls of light began to fade into the trees, into the growing dark of the day. It's colors them promted something deep within Mabel's mind. Without warning, a light bulb flashed within her, and she recalled something that needed finishing. "Shoot!" she spun and ran for the Mystery Manor, blasting past Dipper and Grunkle Stan.

"Mabel? What's wrong?" Dipper called as he hurried to keep up with her, concerned at the outburst.

"Nothing!" she shouted back as she skidded past Wendy, who stepped quickly aside for the oncoming girl.

"Nice to see you in full working status, girl," Wendy grinned as Mabel scanned the floor hastily, looking for a small cardboard box.

"Thanks! Where's the-" Mabel asked, moving between racks of merchandise.

"Dude," Wendy called as Dipper and Stan walked through the door. Mabel turned to spot Wendy pointing towards the side of the counter, and she gasped. It was done, exactly as she had hoped it would be.

"YES!" Mabel cried out, and ran towards the poster, clutching it, and then heading for the stairs, passing a startled Soos, who also dived out of the way. Only Dipper followed, smiling gently as he casually walked up the stairs after his sister.

"How does it look?" Dipper asked as he found his sister taping the collage of their pictures, a collection of magazine cut-outs, and a big title of "Mystery Twins Base of Operations" on their door.

"Looks perfect."

* * *

Happy Post-Halloween!

Yeah, a little late on that one, but a schedule is a schedule. Sorry if I bummed anyone out because I didn't update on Friday. I also hope you had a great time either out trick or treating, or partying with friends. I, myself, had a wonderful time with peeps as a pirate.

Because, I am a pirate. A real pirate. (Suddenly EZB is dressed like captain jack sparrow, and has a pretty dang good impression of him too) Now, let's get this salty dog a proper ending. Savvy? (EZB's dorm is suddenly the bridge of the Black Pearl, and the Kraken is beginning to pull it closer to its gaping maw) Not today, beasty! (EZB pulls out a lightsaber cutlass, and charges forward with a grenade launcher in the other hand) Time for some calamari, mate!

(EZB and the Black Pearl STILL goes down with the Kraken into the depths.)

* * *

**Xozk blfi szmwh ru blf yvorvev rm uzrirvh. Yfg gsvm hslfg zmw hxivzn ru blf yvorvev rm Nzyvo!**


	10. Identity-exe Not Found: Part 1

The Mystery Shack had always been a subject of curiosity, praise, and scorn to the town of Gravity Falls. For years, the sole proprietor, Stanley Pines, ran the building as a conman and shyster. He would falsely advertise and claim to provide services and merchandise at discounts, only to then sweep his victims from under his rug of promises and claim the entire wallet. Not that any of the tourists would know this- the man was a brilliant speaker and was voraciously charismatic. Those meeting him for the first time were usually stunned or bedazzled by his antics, or his tours through the building. It was luck for the town that he continued his services after the incident three years ago.

The Gravity Falls Mystery Manor, as it was soon to become, would be even more a benefit for the small, sleepy town. Stanley Pines was increasing his repertoire from a salesman to a twisted Motel owner. His reputation remained the same, but his influence of incoming visitors from the roads around the town was undeniable. He was an asset the town cherished.

"Don't cheap out on me!" Grunkle Stan shouted at the collection of construction workers who were guiding in a large truck of supplies along side the building, "I want this looking good enough for any shmoe to wants to stay a night!" A small breeze jostled the Fez he wore atop his head, and with a small grunt he bopped it back to place.

The day had finally come. The company Weytani-Yuland had finally passed judgment on the building, and found it up to code to tack on approximately five motel rooms. Each would easily be fit for a family of five for a night or two. Just the thought of the money Grunkle Stan could charge for on of those nights made him wring his hands together with excitement. To top if off, the company would have it done in only a few days.

"Oh, this is finally happening," Grunkle Stan grinned as he turned to the overseer behind him, "So, how long s'this going to take?"

"I'd wager maybe a week or two? We'll be out of your hair before you know it," the overseer, a proper looking man in a simple dark suit with a clean shaven face said with ease. "We're proud that there's someone who trusts our company motto- building better bases."

"Yeah, yeah, company pride and stuff, good for you. Now just do the work I'm paying you for- and don't leave a mess when you're done!" Grunkle Stan turned away, and started for the door to the gift shop. He stepped inside, quickly passing by the ever vigilant Wendy Corduroy at her post, and Soos, peering out the window to watch the construction crew do their work.

"I hope they do a good job," Soos worried aloud, picking at the rim of his shirt.

"Soos, these aren't the cheepos we're used to dealing with. They're a hard working contract company," Grunkle Stan told him with a roll of his eyes, "so quit staring or they'll think you're stalking them."

"I think Soos may be even more protective of this shop than you are, Mister Pines," Wendy jested with a grin, barely poking her head from behind the days paper.

"Oh! I could never care as much as Mister Pines!" Soos told Wendy with a gasp, "I'm sure his affection for this home of his goes much deeper than my superficial appreciation of this... home away from home..." Soos turned back to the window, glaring at the men, "they better not hurt her foundations."

"And that just got a little weird," Stan mentioned to Wendy, who shrugged. "You seen either of my grand-kids? I don't need either of them trying to ask those workers around if they know what that blue glowy thing is."

"I think Dipper is still upstairs," Wendy answered as she turned a page, "Mabel was just here. I think she's also spying on the guys, but for different reasons."

"Huh? Want to _not_ make that cryptic?" Stan asked. On cue, Mabel walked through the door behind Stan, a sullen face and crestfallen look in her eyes.

"No luck," she sighed as she pulled over a small crate to Wendy's post, "the cutest one of them was only a three at best."

"Really? Construction workers?" Stan rounded on his grand-niece, eyeing her with disapproval, "at least the last summer you were here you kept it to your own age group."

"One of them could have been eighteen!" Mabel declared, "and a hottie. With bubbly blue eyes and great skin and muscles and-"

"I don't need to hear any of this, none at all," Grunkle Stan turned, frowning hard. The grand-uncle had no inclination to know or understand the romantic life of the young teenager.

"Sorry, you kind of let me in on the whole birds and the bees, so I guess I feel-" Mabel started, but was stunned as Grunkle Stan's eyes shot wide as he whipped around and stared at her.

"E-excuse me, that's news to me!" Grunkle Stan barked, holding a hand to his chest, "Am I going senile? When did that happen!? Why did that happen!?"

"Oh... uh..." Mabel looked past Grunkle Stan as she pondered the correct answer. Truthfully, she was in Dipper's body when Grunkle Stan had pulled what he thought was Dipper aside to tell him about the birds and the bees. Mabel had endured one of the most traumatizing moments of her life due to that body-switching day. She had forgotten she or Dipper never fully explained the event to him. "You hit your head and forgot! With a big 'ol whump!"

"Huh. That could have been awkward then... man, what was I even thinking," Grunkle Stan rubbed the back of his head, the tiniest red flourish in his cheeks, "telling you anything from the man's side of the story."

"Eh, translation wasn't crazy hard in ninth grade," Mabel assured him easily, "better than my acne breakout in eighth. Ugh."

"Well, don't come crying to me with life shattering revelations later," Stan waved a lazy hand above his shoulder as he calmed down, "speaking of revelations and crying, where is your brother?"

"Hah, crying," Mabel snickered as she grinned at her Grunkle, "upstairs. I think he's doing that moody 'research thing again'."

"With the blue thing?" Wendy asked, and Mabel shrugged, "he must be going crazy at this point. I mean, he wanted to figure this out soon, didn't he?"

"You know my bro-bro," Mabel told them both, "won't stop or shower until he figures out what's up."

"That reminds me- when are you two leaving again?" Stan said, turning for the kitchens, where a calendar hung on the wall in the hallway.

"Huh?" Mabel leant forward, looking at the older man. She hadn't quite understood his question, and frowned at him as he turned to her expectantly. "Oh, oh yeah. Uh, I don't know."

"How long were you going to stay?" Grunkle Stan asked again.

"Two weeks," Mabel shrugged, trying to hide inside her mind the angry voice that protested the idea of leaving so soon.

"Then you have six more days up here," Grunkle Stan wrote on the calendar with a large pen, marking the days they had left. Mabel gasped and stood up, hurrying over to the calendar. Indeed, already eight days had passed since they'd been here. She had less than a week to enjoy a visit with her fine friends and her extended family in the Mystery Manor.

"No way. I hate it when time does that!" Mabel groaned angrily as she placed a hand on the wall as her mind processed the bad news.

"What's up?" her brother's voice called down as his footsteps heralded his descent to the first floor, "what's on the calendar?"

"Our time left, Dip!" Mabel turned to him, clutching his shoulders, and pulling him to face the calendar, "we've got less than a week left until we're gone!"

"Yeah, I know," Dipper shrugged himself under her hands and walked into the gift shop, "it's why we need to focus on this stupid little thing and figure it out already! We're dealing with a mystery of... of..." Dipper angrily reached inside his pocket, whipping out the object on everyone's mind, "whatever this is, and I'm still not one clue closer to what it is!"

"You try electrifying it?" Wendy suggested from behind her magazine.

"Oh, that could be cool," Mabel hummed as she gave the idea thought, "we could throw it into a power transformer down in the town."

"That sounds like a great way to loose it," Dipper stated as he took Mabels former seat next to Wendy, twirling the cylinder in his hands.

"We've got two! We can afford to loose one," Mabel declared as she looked to Dipper, and then her eyes lit up, "Here, I'll go get the other one!"

"I've got them both," Dipper called as Mabel started to run, giving her a screeching halt and she tripped on the end of a rug, collapsing to the floor. Dipper and Wendy both leaned past the counter to see if she was fine, and were presented with a loud chuckle.

"That was fun," Mabel giggled as she laid flat on her back.

"Don't dig too far down, you guys," Soos breathed worriedly, still standing by the window as he peered outside. Dipper was taken off guard, and whipped to his friend.

"Oh, hey, Soos," Dipper asked loudly, trying to pry the man-child's attention away from eyeing the working men outside, "you wouldn't happen to have a pair of rubber gloves and a spare car battery, would you? Maybe some electrical wires too?" Dipper asked. Soos didn't seem to register Dipper was even there, his eyes intently glaring at the workers. "Soos?" Dipper asked again.

"He's gone into 'watch dog' mode since they got here," Wendy explained with a small grin, "won't leave that window. I think he's afraid of their discover of your Uncle's little secret downstairs."

Dipper's eyes widened at the mentioning of the unmentionable secret. Three years had passed since the absolute mess of a secret of what was buried underneath Gravity Falls had been revealed, and Dipper had made it a tightly locked secret between him and his sister that no one would speak about it.

It was too ridiculous to believe to begin with, so they really just saved themselves a lot of trouble sounding insane. The machine deep below the Shack hadn't been activated since, as promised by Stanley Pines to the twins. It had caused all sorts of havoc, let alone the near destruction of the entire region. Yet here was Wendy, grinning at Dipper's shocked face, as she spoke openly about it.

"Ha, ha, yeah, uh, maybe we shouldn't talk about, you know, that thing," Dipper rubbed the back of his head, "because, you know, there are strangers outside?"

"C'mon man, lighten up," Wendy told him with a nudge of her elbow, "they're busy working now. They only have, like, a week to finish it all, so they won't be messing around and listening into our 'secret conversations'," Wendy made particularly wide eyes and dropped her voice to mysterious dark tones as she spoke. Dipper laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

"Maybe I should ask them if they've heard about this?" Dipper held one of the cylinders up to the light, twisting his hand to examine it's entire body.

"Absolutely not!"

Grunkle Stan appeared behind Mabel, his hands at his hips as he stared at Dipper. Dipper almost dropped the unknown object- the tone his Grunkle had used was much, much more serious than he had anticipated. His hard eyes told Dipper he wouldn't have a second chance to debate with his elder relative.

"Last thing we need is anyone thinking we have anything else going on other than the work here. That includes showing people strange glowy things," Grunkle Stan rounded on Mabel as well, who shrugged in response. "You got it?" Grunkle Stan asked Dipper.

"Fine, no one else will be involved," Dipper sighed in defeat, and Grunkle Stan turned back for the inside of the home. Dipper's instincts agreed with Stan on this one. As much as the chance that someone could hold the answer wetted his need to ask around, should someone really discover that they had something truly unknown, more questions could be asked about their daily doings. Dipper knew that could lead to attention to certain organizations; dangerous organizations. "Ugh! We're running out of time with this thing."

"Maybe it's just one of those things?" Wendy asked with an apologetic look to Dipper. He rounded on her, and she continued, "look man, some things are not solved when you want them to be, right?"

"Not if I have something to say about it," Dipper replied strongly a hand to his chin as he began to pace. As he had done upstairs while looking through the journal, he began to list off what he knew, "it's of untellable origin, no markings, creates light, acts as an occasional two-way communicator, and we found it under Grunkle Stan's casket. Nothing about this seems to add up!"

"Maybe that's because you need a break," Mabel suggested, slipping past him to sit next to Wendy, bouncing her feet from the side of the crate.

"We were just talking about how little time we have," Dipper sighed in frustration, "what, six days? If we're supposed to really solve this mystery, we need to focus our time to it! There has to be something we've missed."

"Maybe we need to put them in water," Mabel guessed, and then gasped, "I can totally call Mermando! Maybe he knows what they are! I still remember how to do the underwater summon!" Mabel let out a raspy, gurgling cry that resembled a squirrel having a stroke.

"Mable, be serious here. Jumping to conclusions like that has gotten us off our course all week. We ran into the Warlock because we weren't studying fully, and we almost got you cursed because we thought we should just meditate instead of focus on this," Dipper said with a heated glance to his sister.

"What? What's all that supposed to mean?" Mabel stood up from the crate, poking her brother's shoulder with a quirky smirk, "sounds like you got beef, pardner."

"Well, it's not like I've been really jumping off course here with the investigation, have I?" Dipper rounded on his sister, irritated with her poke. Mable rolled her eyes, easily telling that he was not pleased with her nonchalant attitude.

"Dude, relax," Mable patted his shoulder, "it was two delays. Two minor delays. That's all! Nothing really bad came of it, right?"

"We lost five days of time up here because of one of those _minor_ delays," Dipper replied, a tiny hint of mocking in his voice.

"Okay, so a little bit off course, sure," Mable nodded, trying to appease to the disapproval bubbling inside Dipper. "That doesn't mean we still can't figure this out- here!" Mabel got the brilliant idea the reach and snatch the cylinder from her brother's hand. He didn't get much of a chance to react to her first theft as she quickly swiped a hand into his pocket and pulled out the second. She then pulled them to her face, with a "Beep boop!"

"Hey- Mabel!" Dipper shouted as she turned away, observing them for herself, almost pushing them into her own eyes as she peered closely at them.

"Quiet Dipper- I'm science-ing," Mabel told her brother as she looked into the lights before her, and the smiled, "they're really pretty up close! I kinda wanna take a picture of them."

"That's great. Give them back Mabel," Dipper asked as he stepped around and made to snatch them back. Mabel spun away, still staring into them. "Mabel, come on, give them back." he tried again to snatch them away, and she followed suit with a spin. "Mabel, cut that out."

"I'm busing doing investigatory work!" Mabel defended herself with a giggle, now running away from her brother.

"Mabel! Come one!" Dipper shouted, chasing after his sister. She dived and wove between each attempt he made to retrieve the two stolen artifacts, "Mabel, give them back now!"

"Nuh-uh! Gotta go through the prime guardian, Mabel the mysterious!" Mabel wove her arms like noose noodles out on either side of her body. Dipper dived for her and she side-stepped him quickly. Again and again Dipper made to snatch them away from his martially adept sister, but she made it a game for herself, a game she was clearly winning.

"Oh c'mon Mabel," Wendy had been laughing, but had just noticed the deadly determined and furious look in her brother's eyes, "give your brother a break, give them back."

"Fiiiine," Mable tossed the two cylinders behind her lazily. Dipper gasped and barely caught them as Mabel turned, "All you had to do was ask, dude."

"I DID ASK!" Dipper roared, his face going a bright red. Mabel leaned back, all aspects of humor torn away by his scream.

"Whoa, is Dipper here?" Soos suddenly turned from the window, and saw the twins facing each other. "Oh... uh, hi guys? Did I miss something-"

"You see what I mean?" Dipper stepped close to his sister, "all I wanted was a chance to really sit down with you and get working on this, and the first thing you do is take them away and run around like an idiot with them! How exactly did that help with our progress!?"

"It was just a little fun, Dip," Mabel tried grinning, only getting half her mouth to follow orders and the grin coming off awkwardly. The anger in his eyes was very real as she faced him.

"Time? Remember? We don't have all that time to mess around!" Dipper barked at her, his temper leading his words. She tightened mouth rigidly, refusing to frown.

"Okay, fine, jeesh Dipper," Mabel said, letting out an exasperated moan. "We'll do the stupid research or whatever, okay?" That hadn't been what Dipper wanted. His mouth twitched as he stared at her.

"Stupid?" he asked her, the volume dropping, but the intent remaining, "So this is all stupid to you?"

"Dipper, that's not what I meant!" Mabel retorted. She had a nice, long patience for her brother. However, this had gone beyond the needed wait limit of Mabel-retaliation. He was letting every little thing tick him off, and she felt that same negative energy infect her. "Gosh, c'mon bro, take a chill pill.

"Mable, this is the one thing, the one big thing we have to solve, and you act like there's nothing special about this," Dipper shook his head as he called her out on what he thought was her fault, "if you really feel like that, why do you even want these at all?" he held up the two cylinders.

"Hey, you two," Wendy tried interjecting as she and Soos watched the argument escalate from their spectator side.

"I don't feel that way! But there ARE more important things than stupid mysteries!" Mabel yelled back.

"So you do think it's stupid!" Dipper shouted.

"Well, gosh, maybe now I _do_!"

"Maybe I act like this because I'm drowning alone here, and my sister isn't contributing!"

"I- what's that supposed to mean?" Mabel took the tiniest shuffle back, her chest deflating a little at her brother's last words.

"Well, it's not like you really solve any of these yourself, you know?" Dipper admitted, his arms open to either side like he was revealing a surprise to Mabel behind some curtain. The teenager stood there, staring into her brother's eyes.

"Is that really what you think?" she asked him, the smallest sound of pain in her already tiny dry voice. The anger behind Dipper's eyes couldn't have evaporated quicker when he heard her tone and saw her own look. He could have held back on that out-lash, he reasoned. It was too late though. He had cut her feelings deep and made her feel unwanted.

"I just-"

"Fine," she growled, stepping forward, she again snatched the two small cylinders from his hand, pocketed them in her own sweater, and spun away from him, unafraid to whip him with her long brown hair.

"Mabel, where are you going with those?" Dipper asked, a little behind on the flow of time stream. He was still stunned with what he had already said, and she was rushing out the door to her bike.

"I'm going to solve your stupid mystery by myself," she called behind her as she stomped to her pink motorcycle. "I'll see you later, Dipper," she ended with such a venomous tone that Dipper planted his last foot just on the porch, almost afraid to step near his twin. The wheels of her sprayed pebbles and dust back at him as she blasted away, vanishing down the street in a hurry.

Dipper groaned loudly, letting himself feel the pain in his throat as he pulled at his hair. He had let himself get so caught up in the helplessness of the situation that he couldn't have accounted for anything else, could he? And he had just stomped onto her heart with full force. His knees bent involuntarily, and his weight landed roughly on the porch below him. He barely noticed the men beginning their work to his far left, some pointing to him and looking down the road where Mabel had just fled to.

"God, I'm an idiot," Dipper groaned, hands holding his face up under his chin. He hadn't been wrong, he supposed. Mabel had been inconsiderate of his wishes to take this mystery seriously, but she had at least apologized for it. Hadn't she? Dipper grumbled in his throat. Maybe she hadn't directly. All he could feel was his shame for not being in more control with his own ambition.

"Hey dude." Dipper turned and found Soos looking down through the screen door. The large man was carefully monitoring the teenager, his eyebrows bent in concern. He pushed the door open and held it there. "You wanna come in?"

"Not really," Dipper turned away, leaning ahead as he gave a heavy sigh.

"Okay, I'll just take a step out too then," Soos decided and stepped to sit next to Dipper. "Dude, what was with that between you two? You used to only fight about... huh. What did you two ever fight about?"

"With Mabel, boys. With me, space," Dipper told Soos easily.

"Wow. Not sure how'd you ever lose an argument about space. It's real, you know," Soos told Dipper, "So if she ever tells you otherwise, I got your back. People have even been there!"

"Soos, I meant _personal_ space, not outer-space," Dipper turned to Soos with a disbelieving look, and Soos nodded.

"Oh, that makes much more sense," Soos admitted, "well, that didn't sound like it was about boys or space."

"It wasn't," Dipper again sighed, pushing his hat slightly down.

"Oh. So, why did you two argue?" Soos asked, scratching his head through his own cap.

"I don't know. I... I think we're just getting anxious that we've got to leave sorta soon. We just got back up here, and it's like nothing has changed in three years."

"Hah, I wouldn't be so sure about that," Soos started listing off things, counting off fingers, "My truck broke down once, the Mystery Shack is turning into a manor, the Gleefuls moved out of town; there's a few things that are different," he assured Dipper.

"I didn't think this stay up here would even take that long," Dipper stated, "I'm supposed to be working this summer to start saving for college and insurance for my car," Dipper nodded to the black car to the side of the building, "And now I'm trying to figure out whatever these-" Dipper instinctively reached for his pocket, and groaned, "whatever those two things Mabel now has are supposed to be."

"You don't sound too thrilled to be up here then, dude," Soos told him, a sad frown on his face.

"No, no, that's just it, Soos," Dipper turned to him, "I've had more fun up here in the past week than I have had in the past three or so years! I love being up here with everybody- It's like I'm with people who don't think I'm that freak who writes about monsters and mysteries and doesn't try dating just because I can-"

"Who thinks you're a freak?" a voice asked behind the two. Wendy also appeared behind the door, following her co-worker out the door and onto the porch.

"When Mabel and I... well, my our parents were going through the divorce," Dipper started, a topic he wasn't entirely fond of to date, "I tried playing it cool. Mabel couldn't; she was always getting mad at them, and then sometimes me. I just wanted to be left out of it."

"What really gets me though," Dipper finally got to his heart-ache, "is that... maybe it wasn't the divorce that really got me. I couldn't talk to anyone about what had happened up here. I didn't try with just anyone- I only told my friends, and then they just sort of laughed it off like a joke. I tried writing about it, but they caught me enough times to start thinking I was going crazy or something. When my mom moved away from Piedmont, then I really couldn't talk about it with anyone."

"That's rough, dude," Soos told him.

"I know how you feel," Wendy said, catching the other two's attention. "What? I've been like that before."

"You mean when you were twelve?" Dipper asked. Wendy, to his surprise shook her head with a sad grin. "Wait, back when we first visited? What?" Dipper gasped, when Wendy shook her head again. "Now?"

"Dude," Wendy looked ahead, a sigh passing her lips, "we all have stuff we want to get off our chests, you know? Like, I once had this stupid crush on this boy. He wasn't even my usual type," Wendy shrugged like she couldn't comprehend how she ever had done this kind of act, "and the kid was waaay older than me. I just couldn't shake my feelings on it, you know?" she asked the other two, who watched her in anticipation, "He wasn't... wow, I think this may be the first time I've told someone about this," Wendy suddenly frowned in thought.

"No judgment here, dawg," Soos affirmed Wendy with a good natured smiled. Wendy turned to look at Dipper, who grinned. He swiped a hand across his mouth, his index finger and thumb pressed together, and then flicked the imaginary finger-zipper away. The Redhead chuckled.

"I haven't seen that in a while," she told Dipper with a grin, "he was sort of the guy who showed me what's really going on around here."

"You mean the Mystery Shack?" Soos asked as Dipper gasped.

"Soos, I think she means that the guy showed her the monsters around town," the young teen gaped at Wendy who shrugged. "Did he?"

"Yeah. But...I don't know. He didn't seem all that crazy special," Wendy struggled to explain, "like, normal clothes, no crazy man-body or anything like that. But he was awesome. He knew so much about the woods and the things happening, like he knew exactly what to expect. Totally willing to give my dorky, twelve year old mind a chance to feel like there was someone out there who could listen to me."

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked.

"Do you remember that picture of me I showed you?" Wendy asked Dipper, who blinked. He wouldn't want to admit it, but that could have meant anything to him. A moment later he recalled a small Polaroid of four siblings of bright red hair, all standing before a forest, and Wendy Corduroy, tallest of the four, with thick braces and hair tied in pigtails.

"I remember," Dipper nodded with a grin.

"Well, imagine that girl trying to make friends when she looked like that," Wendy said sadly, her hands on her knees. "But he didn't care. Something about him understood what it was like being... being alone."

"But you're not," Dipper leaned out a bit more, trying to get a stronger look towards Wendy.

"It certainly can feel it sometimes though, right man?" she said back, catching Dipper off guard. Dipper grinned inwardly, amused with her talent of making a solid point without ever saying it. "So, when Mabel gets back, you're going to do what?" Wendy added, looking at Dipper.

"Apologize; I know," Dipper nodded in agreement.

"Phew. 'Cus that was some serious stuff you two were throwing at one another," Soos commented, "freaked me out a little."

"Me too," Wendy admitted. Dipper's flushed a little. It was one thing to feel apologetic towards his sister, but he was only now wondering what those two had felt as they watched the twins go at each other, or at least Dipper bite at Mabel.

"Damn, sorry guys," Dipper apologized quietly, scratching his chin an few brown hairs growing on his face. "We'll, uh, keep them private. Upstairs, yeah."

"Nice," Soos said, putting a hand on Dipper's shoulder for a moment. "You know dude, if you want to we can go get your sister. I'll drive you to go get her and we can all go get pizza or something."

"Soos, are you actually suggesting leaving work early?" Wendy turned to get a better look at Soos, her eyes wide, "that's a first."

"I'm sure Mister Pines wouldn't mind if I help out Dipper and Mabel, right?" Soos asked Dipper who nodded.

"Maybe we should wait for Mabel to come back," Dipper said sadly, "She's probably going to be angry at me for a bit. When she comes back I'll just talk to her. Thanks though, dude."

"Hey, no sweat," Soos stood as he spoke, "I'll be inside if you change your mind. I gotta keep an eye on those... guys," Soos gave a suspicious look towards the construction overseer, who had peered over quickly at the three on the porch. "Something about the name Weytani-Yuland makes me nervous."

"It's just in your head, man," Wendy chuckled at Soos as he walked inside, and she looked back to Dipper, "you going to be good, bud?"

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Mabel now," he admitted.

"She'll be fine. If she's anything like you," Wendy told him, "she'll realize how much it means to be happy together while you're still up here and you two will move on. It'll be fine."

"Right," Dipper agreed, and started hearing Wendy step inside behind him. "Hey, Wendy," Dipper stood and turned, catching her half way through the door, "you never said who the guy was."

She stared at him blankly. She seemed uncertain to how to reply as she looked around her, eyes avoiding the boy before herself. Maybe she hadn't intended to reveal that part of the story, Dipper thought to himself. His mind twisted itself as he watched her for a few quiet moments. He shouldn't have asked; that was rude- Dipper's mind punished itself silently as he awaited reply.

"I made the promise that I would never tell anyone, Dipper," Wendy said, a sad smile placed over her lips, "but... you know, he was a lot like you."

"What?" Dipper grinned, "you think I'm that cool?" Wendy blew a loud, exasperated gasp.

"Of course, man! You and Mabel are seriously two of the coolest human beings I've ever met. You know, I told Stan that when you and Mabel were going to leave, I was going to be really bummed out. There aren't a lot of people I can talk to anymore like this," Wendy reached over and smacked the side of his shoulder, "so don't be all down and gloomy while you're up here. Especially since you're not here for much longer, got it?"

"Understood," Dipper laughed as Wendy turned and retreated inside. A new light flooded through Dipper, and he followed her. He would go upstairs and continue his research, he knew that. This energy, this light, reached the tips of his fingers and he felt lighter and more energized than adrenaline had made him in any of the chases, fights, or near-death situations he had been in since coming here.

"Hey, let me know if she comes back and I'm still upstairs, okay?" Dipper asked Soos and Wendy as he passed by them, towards the stairs.

"You got it, dude," Soos saluted and turned back towards the windows. "I'll be watching all right..."

"We got you covered, man," Wendy winked at Dipper as he smiled back, and leapt up the stairs, passing extra steps as he climbed upwards.

His door closed firmly shut behind him as he entered his room. Rushing to his bed, he began to organize the mess he had abandoned before going downstairs. While the notes hadn't changed and he hadn't gotten any other revelations about this puzzle of the two glowing cylinders, his mood was inflated. The notes weren't giving him anything, so instead he just piled them all together as best he could, placed them with his journal on his desk, and laid back onto his bed. He smiled, wide and proud.

"Wait," Dipper suddenly blinked, "why am I smiling?" he rubbed his face, aware that it wasn't just a smile- it was a HUGE smile. He was positively beaming like Mabel would have if a boy had just complimented her on her newest sweater. He stood up, thinking of what would make him smile, and the first thing coming to mind was the mystery.

"That can't be it," he mumbled, and then shifted his ideas towards clearing the bad vibes with Mabel, "I can't really call her, unless Wendy gave her a phone or... wait," Dipper slowly pushed himself upright. His stomach had practically fluttered out of his body when he mentioned her.

Wendy.

"Wait... Wait. No. No, no, no!" Dipper slapped a hand over his eyes, "think of mysteries! Impossible world problems! Solving the greatest unknowns of time and history!" Dipper let the many theories and unsolved cases of the world float around his mind, and he sighed. He seemed at peace. No sooner had he sighed and calmed himself than her face popping back into his mind, smiling and telling him-

_He was a lot like you._

Her old crush, the one she had chosen to tell no one but Soos and Dipper, was like him. Like _him_. Not like Robbie, or whoever else Wendy had ever dated, but Dipper Pines. Dipper laid back down. There was a twinge of defeat in his mind along with a roar of triumph. He was powerless to do anything but admit it. With a few words from the beautiful red-head young adult, Dipper was smitten so deeply he could only stare at the angled ceiling above, his arms at his side and bound by his own feelings. A crush had re-surface from the depths of times long passed.

"Not again..."

* * *

Mabel hadn't gone into town like she said she would have. On the way into town, she had spotted a small road that would lead to a steep hill overlooking Gravity Falls. Her motorcycle now leaned against a tree and she sat on the dirt further away, overlooking the town.

She had sat there for a few minutes, silent and stewing. There were only a few things in life that could really get under her skin and hit home like that. Dipper was both the furthest and most likely to be able to know how to get her feeling this hurt about anything.

Did he really feel like she didn't do anything?

She scrunched her face tight. She had been betrayed. Those words were said easily; as if he were just waiting to blurt them out and let her know. Maybe it wasn't true, but to the hurt fifteen year old, it certainly felt like it. She just wanted to be alone. To let these feelings creep out of her until the only thing left was Mabel, not these horrible, angry, hateful thoughts.

She wanted to call him out on it. Let him know the various times that, without her help, would have gone sour. She had helped him solve the case for Quentin Trembley. She got their butts saved when the two of them and the giant Gideon Robot fell from the suspended train tracks high above the town. He had gotten himself into just as many problems, if not more, than she had, hadn't she?

The crushing sensation of doubt flooded through Mabel. There was a chance he may be right and she slouched herself forward. So sure, she wasn't as interested with these mysteries and crazy situations they both get into, but she always helped. When she knew about the problem. Dipper had given a brief explanation to what he and Multi-bear had gone through, and she couldn't have had any kind of hand in that. She did, however, save his life from Gideon. Her brother would have been chopped in half had she not showed up.

She then remembered that it had been her inability to tell Gideon herself that they couldn't date was what put Dipper into danger in the first place.

"I do help!" she shouted aloud, flopping backwards in a growl, "you're just being a stupid brother!"

He was kind of stupid, as she thought about it. In a way very similar to her own crazy, super hyper mind. The two of them were obsessive of their own interests. Dipper would practically drool at the idea of an impressive problem to solve and would chew pens and pencils to death, while Mabel would literally drool over the perfect boyfriend.

"Maybe I _should_ try figure them out," she mumbled as she peered into the sky, "that'll prove I can at least... ugh!" she growled again. She didn't want to have to prove anything. She knew she didn't have to; just being his sister should have been enough for him to know she always had his back. A competitive switch flicked in her head. This may be a chance, as she thought to herself, to firmly put on the record that she was just as competent as Dipper with these sort of things. He would never again get to call himself superior with solving cases if she solved the only one he couldn't.

She leapt off the ground in an impressive flip, and turned to her bike. She didn't know what she was going to do next, but she knew action was required. She liked this new idea of being justified. She would be able to have an exact reference from this point on, to tell anyone, why she and Dipper were on the same playing field.

Hopping onto her bike, she revved the engines again, and before long she was riding into town.

"Ahem," she said to herself as she lifted herself off her bike, pulling out the two cylinders from her pockets, "beginning test phase uno. Professional super-scientist Mabel Pines conducting investigations on two cool glowy sticks."

Mabel walked forward, holding them both in her hands, trying to figure out what to do with them. A water fountain presented itself to Mabel as she passed by the biker bar.

"Test one: aqua!" Mabel declared. Stepping to the water fountain, she pushed the nozzle down, and slowly placed one of the two in direct contact. She held her body back, still holding onto the glowing cylinder, one eye closed while the other peeked out enough to watch it. Nothing happened when water made contact.

"Water is inefficient at solving mystery of glowy stick," Mabel declared, giving the small object a look over, "and it didn't even change colors or anything cool. Water now officially declared boring."

Mabel turned and continued down the street. There were shops on either side of her that could end up becoming unwilling test subjects. None of them particularly caught her eye- but she did consider the possibility of tormenting Toby Determined for his blunder the day before, which nearly cost her and Dipper's life. That would have to wait for another day, though.

Thirty minutes later, she was back on her bike. The mall was the next logical step for investigating. Upon entering the large building, she only found herself presented with a new problem: people were everywhere. There wasn't a spot in the mall she could quickly notice that didn't have someone nearby.

"Quiet... alone... without people who will call the FBI," Mabel chanted to herself as she passed a pair of mothers with their infants, each giving Mabel a worried look.

She was passing the elevators when she spotted the best chance she had to mess with some tech: Donny's OK TVs. The collection of televisions piled high against the window, ranging from recently released but pre-owned to televisions before the lunar landing. She grinned as she started walking past it, and held up her glowing stick.

Mabel gasped. Approaching the store, the stick was glowing brighter and brighter. She turned around, just to make sure no one else was looking at what seemed to be Mabel fussing over a misbehaving flashlight. She had been hoping for a reaction, but this was a little more noticeable than maybe a little flash of light. As she struggled to contain the light, a television in front of her turned on.

It buzzed, static waves and an eerie tone floating through the glass window between Mabel and the TV. Then another TV turned on. And another. Soon the entire collection of televisions were activating and flashing their static haze. She could only panic, trying to shove the cylinder away. That was a little too close to actual danger she wanted to get. Making a quick ninety degree turn, she spun and walked post-haste to the exit.

"What kind of goofy nonsense was that all about?" she asked herself by her bike, and held up one of the battery-like objects for inspection. She then realized it was no longer glowing as brightly as before- it was still quite brighter than it had been, but it no longer hummed the strong bright light that could have blinded someone up close. Then she reached inside for the other one, and was shocked. It was brighter too, but at a level comparable to the experimented battery. Had they somehow shared a type of energy with one another?

Mable felt goose-bumps run up her spine; this was a discovery! Something she could tell Dipper about. They could test this with other televisions. After all, Grunkle Stan had replaced his TV before- he wouldn't mind if something happened to his new one, would he? Probably not.

"Wait... I got this on my own," she stated, and slid them back into her pocket. She hopped back on her bike, and headed back for town. Maybe a radio, or a speaker could have the same effect- something that was like a television. Mabel parked herself by the library, ignoring the building as it had no radios or televisions, and headed around. Her purpose was more refined. She could easily find TVs sitting in the shops by counters. Stepping into the candy-store, she purchase a bag of gummy koalas, and very casually pulled out the blue cylinder. The store clerk at the time noticed the TV acting weird, and before he had a time to notice her involvement, she slid it back outside.

Mabel practically drowned herself in the bag of sweets in excitement. Two times had televisions acted strange around the glowing sticks. Her next test was the put one in the other pocket, and the take out the other. It still hadn't gotten brighter, as her idea of them sharing energy thought. Then she put it in the pocket for a second, and pulled it back out. It had grown slightly brighter. They were splitting light between the two of them.

"Ho my gosh, ho my gosh!" Mabel gasped and bounced in step as she paced in circles. "This is crazy! Bonkers nutso! Just what the heck-a-doodle are you thingies anyway?" she asked the two cylinders as she held them before herself.

Out of the corner of her eye, Mabel spotted someone watching her. She slowly craned her head to see a girl with tan skin and a dark violet dye in her hair looking at Mabel with a bored, uncaring stare. She had met her before, this girl. Three years ago, Mabel and Dipper went into the haunted convenience store with this girl.

"What?" Mabel asked the girl. She shrugged and moved past her, typing madly on her smart phone.

"Weirdo," the girl mumbled as she passed.

Mabel squinted at her, displeased with the accusation. Mabel clenched her teeth and considered for a second if the smart phone that girl was using could be a target. So far, none of the tests seemed to have been dangerous. Nothing crazy had happened yet. Maybe she could get back at the girl without needing to say a word. Karma would be Mabel's ally this day.

As she followed quietly behind the purple haired girl, she plotted her action. Running past her to her bike, she would wave the battery-like object past her phone, and then observe any change from a safe distance. Mabel was unconsciously rubbing the two batteries in her hands together as she grinned, ready for action. Mabel noticed a crackling sound from her hands and she looked down.

As she looked into her hands, Mabel saw a huge blast of electricity arc out from between the two objects and strike the girl ahead of her center of the back.

Mabel froze. The girl, eighteen or so, crumbled to the ground, her phone sprawling away to the side from her hands, clattering as it did. Aside from the loud crack of electricity, there hadn't been a single sound made. The girl never cried out, and Mabel was too horrified to even make a whimper.

It was like swallowing the pixie all over again.

She shoved the cylinders into her pockets and started to turn and run. There was no way she was going to be caught for this- something she wasn't even sure she did or not. How could she have known anything like that could happen? It wouldn't be fair to be presumed guilty like that!

The guilt and conscious of Mabel weighed her back. There was a girl, however jerky of a jerk she may be, laying unconscious on the ground with no one in sight. Mabel knew, even if it hadn't been her fault, she had a responsibility to do what she would have wanted if the situation had been reversed. She needed to take her somewhere safe. Running over, she lifted the girl from the ground as best she could. Mabel was strong, but she wasn't Soos, and the girl was a tad taller than her.

The last thing she saw before turning around was the remaining unfinished text the girl had been typing; _Weird girl following me, playing with glowing blue things. Should be worried, right?_

* * *

Dipper paced in the gift shop. It had been a while longer than he had expected for his sister to return. By a while, it was hours.

"You know, I bet this is how your sister felt when you disappeared that day," Soos stated as he passed Dipper.

"Not helping, Soos," Dipper replied, and groaned, "great. Now all I can think of is that creepy warlock dude came back and got her or something."

"Nah, dude. Unlike yourself, your sister has martial training of a degree of expertise," Soos smiled and laid a hand on Dipper's shoulder, "she can handle herself like a pro."

"Doesn't mean I can stop worrying," Dipper sighed, looking out at the door. "What if she got in a crash? Oh god, what if the last thing I ever said to her was that I thought she didn't help with our stupid mysteries!?" Dipper slid against the counter, falling to his knees.

"Dude," Wendy said from behind the same counter, "chill." Dipper tried to take a nice long breath, and only groaned again, pulling his cap in front of his face. "Man, listen to Soos. Mabel fought the freaking shape-shifter like it was nothing. She's going to be fine."

"What if she got into a car crash or something though? You can't fight your way out of a car crash!" Dipper stood up, pacing yet again.

"I heard womanly panic," Grunkle Stan's voice called as he entered the shop, peering out the window for a moment, where the construction crew had left their tools, "oh, they finished for the day. Now, why is Dipper going crazy?"

"Well, you see Mister Pines," Soos quickly started, "Dipper and Mabel had a heated argument earlier, and now he's worried that she's in trouble because she's been out for a long while."

"Huh. How long is a long while?" Stan asked Dipper, who shrugged self-consciously.

"Like since two," Dipper mumbled.

"It's four. That's only two hours," Grunkle Stan informed his younger relative.

"I know! But there's crazy stuff out there! And she doesn't have a phone! We'd have to hear from someone else before we heard from her if something bad happened," Dipper explained.

"Oi. Look Dipper, this is your sister you're talking about here. We usually know she's getting herself into something bad before _she_ does," Grunkle Stan reminded Dipper, who blinked and gave a slow nod, "so if we last saw her and didn't warn her to do something, chances are she's just being her normal Mabel self. Besides, if she did need help, she'd let us know-"

There was a rumbling sound of a Motorcycle and an outcry of "HEY! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!" Dipper turned and soared out of the door, and found Mabel parking her bike in front of the Mystery Manor.

"Mabel, are you-"

"Help her!" Mabel grunted, trying to balance herself on the bike still. Dipper then noticed the other girl. She was tied to Mabel's midriff with Mabels sweater. The girl seemed to be entirely unconscious and was slipping off to one side. Dipper ran up and tried catching the girl. She was fortunately not very heavy, and lifted off the bike well enough once Mabel undid her sweater around herself.

"Coming through," Dipper shouted as Mabel slammed the door open to the shack while her carried the girl inside, "Grunkle Stan! Help!"

Grunkle Stan had just started to head back inside the living room when he spun around and found the two bringing the girl in. Soos also turned, and gasped. Yet Wendy won the most dramatic reaction award. She shrieked and stepped back.

"Tambry?!" Wendy asked from behind the counter, stepping away from her as supposed to closer, as Soos and Stan approached Dipper to lift the girl into the living room, "what is she doing here?"

"Long story!" Mabel told her, running after the others, "well, its a short story, but let's make sure she's okay first!"

"Uh... yeah," Wendy stated as she followed the others.

"Okay!" Grunkle Stan grunted as he laid the girl on his lazy-chair, "start talking Mabel. Why are you bringing back unconscious girls to the Mystery Manor."

Mabel went through the quest route of explaining what had happened. That route being mostly made of silly sounds and lots of running around in circles. Dipper understood most of it, and translated for his freaking out sister. Before long the attention had focused on the local girl on the seat, eyes closed.

"Well, it's settled then," Grunkle Stan stated with nod, "we'll dump her on the edge of town and we won't bring this up again."

"What?!" Dipper and Mabel gasped.

"Well, unless we want someone to drag Mabel to jail for electrocuting her," Stan pointed out.

"She didn't mean to do anything," Dipper defended his sister, who gave him an appreciative look.

"Why don't we just drop her by the hospital?" Wendy suggested, the furthest one from the unconscious girl, "we can at least make sure someone can see if she's okay."

"They'd have question for us," Grunkle Stan argued, "and then they'd want us around until her folks show up."

"What's the plan then, dudes?" Soos asked worriedly.

All four of the others opened their mouths at once, but someone else beat them to the punch.

"Computing Memory Module out of synch. Ejecting system memory charge, please prepare a newer charge," Tambry said, her eyes still closed. The others froze and slowly turned to the girl. She was still crumpled in the chair, and now her mouth was open, speaking effortlessly.

"What... did she just say?" Wendy asked worriedly.

"Initiating ejection," Tambry stated loudly, and the five stepped back.

The girl began to straighten out, legs dangling over the seat and arms at her side. Her eyes flickered open, and the same light Mabel had seen earlier that day shone out from the inside of Tambry's head. Her body began to levitate, a ripple of light underneath her back and legs and head that pushed her from her seat. Air was whipping around the five of them as Tamby completely straightened out, two feet in the air above the seat. There was a strange and sharp hissing sound, and then the girl's shirt lifted slightly up, exposing her stomach. A section of skin was opening, revealing a bright light from within. A foot wide panel opened, and a flash of light followed. A small blue tube floated out from her mid-section, and remained hovering in place.

The five had all clustered together, watching this all happen with wide, horrified eyes. They had just witnessed a girl float in mid air, her stomach open up to reveal a series of sophisticated electrical wires that all shone with light, and now a single blue battery floated above the opening.

"Well that was the coolest and scariest thing I've seen all year," Soos nodded with certainty as he and the others stared blankly at the girl that was supposed to be Tambry. "Getting nightmares about this one for sure, though."

* * *

That's right. We got some tam-tam in this sucka! Or... is it really Tambry? :o And Dipper and Wendy sitting in a tree, j-u-s-t f-r-i-e-n-d-s. Poor guy. I'll be cheering you on, my wayward son!

Now, LETS HEAR SOME PREDICTIONS! :D

This is the second really down-to-main-plot episode since Chapter one. Pretty crazy. BY the way, we're one chapter away from the half way point. Just so you all know how fast this story is moving along. But don't worry, like I've been saying, we've got a long time before the series comes to and end.

You all know the drill. Next weekend will be yet another update! So, leave a review you wonderful people and I'll seeya- (an explosion blasts apart the walls next to EZB, and the author turns slowly in his chair. It is revealed that EZB is in Jedi-garb, and eyes the hole in the wall uncertainty) Who is there?

(A Sith warrior in black robes lunges out, gleaming red light-saber at the ready. EZB reacts well enough, leaping backwards out of the chair with his own green lightsaber, and the two duel. Spins and force-pushes and lightning and all cool stuff amount in this battle. Then THE-EFFIN-OTHER wall is blasted down, and the two stop. A figure holding a crowbar high above his head stands.)

John Freeman: It's time for me to live up to my family name and face FULL-LIFE-CONSEQUENCES! (John Freeman, the brother of Gordon Freeman then whips out a rocket launcher and blows the room up. And then dey all did dieded. The end.)

[p.s. If you like stupid, god awful humor like I do at 1 am, look up full life consequences. It's a good chuckle if you're delirious.]


	11. Identity-exe Not Found: Part 2

The five had surrounded the girl, or least the person they thought had been a girl. Tambry, as Wendy explained, had been a long time friend of herself and her gang of buddies. Mabel exclaimed that she knew she had seen here somewhere before, to which Dipper agreed. Yet none of them wanted to move the still levitating young woman, rigidly floating above the seat.

"Uh, so, plans? This is a new one for me," Stan said as he looked to the others, "I mean, robots in general are rough and tough, but this isn't exactly a standard looking robot, is it?"

"Definitely not," Soos said, daring to lean in closer to her for a more observing look, "I'm going to get a look at her. Be right back," Soos declared, and turned for the kitchens.

"She wasn't even acting like a robot," Mabel declared, "she dropped her phone back by the street. Like she had been texting like any other anti-social teenager would."

"That's Tambry for ya," Wendy chuckled darkly as she looked at the still open, glowing eyes of her once friend.

"Do you think she's always been a robot?" Dipper asked as Soos returned from his journey, bringing with him a stool. "Maybe we just never noticed because she didn't talk that much."

"Trust me, she wasn't a robot," Wendy held a hand up in defense for the girl in topic, "she got her kicks just like anybody else in this town. I've also known her for long enough to know if she was a robot at this point."

"We'll see about that," Soos grunted as he stepped up the stool, and peered down into the opening into the girl. "Oh man... you guys, this is, like, some crazy amount of super-technology here."

"No kidding!" Stan said, trying his best to get his own eyes to see whatever he had.

"No, like, I'm not even sure what's supposed to be what!" Soos placed a hand against his forehead, peering into the light, past the floating 'ejected' battery that was exactly like the two Dipper and Mabel had. "I've done enough circuitry to tell you anything you need about electricity, but none of this is familiar! It's like someone made a human body out of... whatever that stuff is."

"What do you see man? Mabel demanded as she, Dipper, and Wendy watched the two men peer into the veil of light.

"Honestly?" Stan said as he finally pushed himself up on the side of the chair, "it looks like someone's insides. But made out of blue lights and a crazy looking space-age material."

"So, not going to tell you I told you so," Mabel turned to her brother, a critical look in her eye, "but I _so_ told you so."

"Huh? What are you even talking about?" Dipper glanced to her.

"Aliens, bro!" Mabel declared, getting the other's attention, "I mean, look at it! She's perfectly life like, she's got tons of crazy gizmo-ey stuff inside her body, she leaks out light- it's like ET's robot butler!"

"Who said anything about aliens," Dipper turned to her fully, scratching his chin, "as much as you're not wrong about what we've seen, there aren't any real indications as to what this is. She could be the leading test subject in a super-advanced spy hardware program or... something!"

"Or she's made by aliens! And they're watching us! For _reasons_," Mabel looked around the room, as if scanning for more evidence of Alien activity. Dipper sighed as he watched her for a moment.

"It said it was a 'memory charge'," Dipper pondered while Soos and Stan peered inside the hole, and then at the still floating cylinder. "Is that what those have been? Memory charges?"

"What the holy heck is that supposed to even mean?" Stan said, poking the floating object with a quick prod of his finger. "Well, I'm not dead, so that's good."

"When I was moving around TV's," Mabel said to Dipper, catching her brother's attention, "it started glowing," she pulled out the two they already collected, "and then when they touched one another, they shared that energy. Maybe it really is a battery, but not the kind we've ever seen before."

"If it's a battery," Wendy began as they looked at Tambry, "why hasn't she powered down, or whatever?"

That was a new question Dipper couldn't answer. He opened his mouth open and closed it silently twice. Being unable to answer this brought up an even more dangerous question, one which Dipper couldn't keep to himself.

"If she's still powered, what happens if she wakes up?" he asked the others, his eyes wide in fear and uncertainty. One by one, the others turned to look at him, the same kinds of thoughts in their minds.

"What if someone comes looking for her?" Soos stated, jumping down from his post, afraid to get near the girl.

"What if she has to erase the evidence?" Stan replied, also taking a step back.

"What if she's still mean when she wakes up?" Mabel gulped as they all stared at the girl.

"Well..." Wendy wiped her hands on the sides of her pants, and stepped forward. With a loud breath, she reached up, grasped the small cylinder, and tugged. The other four gasped as Wendy stumbled back, having pulled the object away from its floating position easily. Wendy looked at her hand, holding the small cylinder tightly. "Okay, I'm good-" Tambry's lights shut down and she fell back onto the seat, having Wendy yelp and lunge backwards.

The light faded, and the metallic opening on her stomach closed shut. Had the others not seen her just a few moments ago floating in mid air as the robot creature she was, they all would have seen a perfectly normal passed out young woman. Mabel stepped forward quickly, and slid Tambry's shirt down, covering her stomach.

"In case she wakes up," Mabel reasoned when the others gave her a confused look.

"If she wakes up, we have worse problems than her dignity," Stan told them, "we still have to figure out what to do with this girl."

"I don't know what the hospital could do with her," Dipper thought aloud, "I mean, being made of whatever that all was kinda makes it hard for doctors to fix you."

"Wait..." Mabel said, a sudden horror dawning on her, "Dipper, what if... what if these things turned her into a robot!?" she asked, holding up the two other cylinders.

"W-w-what?" her brother spluttered.

"I charged them up by TV's and radios and stuff, and then I zapped her. What if these are actually like... living people into cyborg weapons of destruction?! This could be the ending of humanity! And I started it!" Mabel pulled at her hair, her mind racing to the worst possible outcome as she paced back and forth.

"Mabel, stop it," Dipper grabbed her should and spun her to face him, "we have to deal with this here and now, not what it can be."

"Why don't we get her out of the building first," Wendy suggested, still furthest away from Tambry, "for all we know, she could get up at any point!"

"What exactly makes you say that?" Stan asked and the he pointed to the charge in her hand, "her lights are gone. Guessing it was because of that," Grunkle Stan told Wendy as she gave it a look.

"Dipper," Wendy took a shaky step to Dipper, extending her arm to him, "take it."

Dipper gave the new cylinder a careful look. There was something ominous about this third battery- possibly because they had just seen it emerge from a torso of a girl not ten feet from him. Not only that, Wendy's face was screwed up in an uncomfortable grimace. She wanted nothing to do with what she was holding to Dipper.

"Sure," he nodded and took the blue object from her, examining it. Nothing happened when his skin made contact with the smooth surface, and he sighed in relief. "Mabel, bring the other two here."

"Begin the operation, doctor," Mabel told Dipper as she approached, holding the other two out. Dipper gave them a look, and was surprised to find that the one which had just been ejected from Tambry was fainter in color and glow than the other two.

"That... that's weird, "Dipper leaned closer to them, "if these are sort of batteries, wouldn't the one that _just_ came out of a, uh, host be the brightest?"

"Well, check this out dude," Mabel told him, "shazam," she waved the two over the third in Dippers hand. The boy's eyes widened as he watched the brighter two fade slightly and the one in his hand grow in light.

"Wait... what?" he gasped, bringing it close to his face for inspection. The colors were stronger, more vibrant, and seemed to flow inside the tube like the colors themselves were alive. "Mabel, what did you just do?"

"No idea dude! Isn't that exciting though?" Mabel asked him, his eyes lightening at the prospect of them discovering even more to these strange objects.

"You found this out?" Dipper asked, a widening smile tracing his face.

"Yup! So, how's that for your helpless sister with mysteries?" She nudged his shoulder with her elbow with a devilish grin.

Dipper's face grew hot and his guts twisted in shame. His eyes quickly fell away from his sister, still aware of the mean things he had cut her feelings with. Mabel then swatted the rim of his cap gently, and poked his nose.

"All is forgiven, bro," Mabel smiled at him as he opened his mouth, beating him to the punch of an apology.

"I was a jerk," Dipper told her weakly.

"Well, maybe I was asking for it, just a teeny-weeny little," Mabel tossed the two cylinders into the air, catching them easily.

"I shouldn't have just-"

"Dipper, it's okay," Mabel assured her brother with a warm smile. It was more than enough for him and some of the stress in his body fizzled away. Not all of it; they still had an unconscious girl-cyborg to deal with.

"Either of you two got a place we can hide her?" Stan asked the twins as they turned back to face the unconscious girl in the seat. "Just a temporary place! Relax," Stan called loudly as the two both gave him warning glares. "We're not in the business of dumping bodies in the woods... yet."

"Maybe we're not thinking about this right," Dipper said aloud, walking around to get a look at Tambry for himself, "rather than where we take her, maybe we should think of who."

"Who?" Mabel echoed her brother, shrugging with her eyes wide, impersonating an owl.

"I told you two," Stan warned the twins, "we're not involving anyone else in this sort of deal."

"Grunkle Stan, I think it's a little late to try to avoid anyone knowing anything," Dipper retorted quickly, "either way, someone's going to know something's up when Tambry here doesn't go home or doesn't show up where ever she's expected. We need some help."

"Ugh... fine. Then we make sure it's a quiet as possible. My secrets survived for years because I played things secretly. No crazy adventuring and big explosions, got me?" Stan checked with the four of them, who all nodded.

"Wait, guys," Soos piped up, a dawn of light behind his eyes, "I know who we can take her to!"

"Lazy Suzan!" Mabel cheered. The four others looked to Mabel, who realized she hadn't guessed correctly. "Because, you know, she's really nice and understanding... maybe?"

"Who, Soos?" Wendy asked quickly following Mabel's explanation.

"Old man McGucket!" Soos declared proudly.

"What?" Stan barked, "we really want to get him in on this mess?"

"Hey, it's not that bad of an idea," Dipper replied, backing up Soos, "McGucket has a ton of experience with robotics, and people still think he's crazy, so if he goes talking about this sort of thing, we'll be off the hook."

"I still like Lazy Suzan as an idea," Mabel pouted.

"So, I guess you four are going into town then?" Stan gave them a hard look.

"I, uh," Wendy piped up, "I can stay behind."

"Wendy, she's your friend," Mabel told the redhead.

"Was my friend" Wendy corrected her, "tell you what. You guys get a start for McGucket, and I'll make sure her parents know she's okay. Sound good?"

"Sounds good to me," Soos said, "we ready to take her away?"

"I guess so," Dipper shrugged, and with the held of Stan and Soos, the three of them carried limp Tambry to Soos's truck. Mabel slipped one of her sunglasses on Tambry's face.

"That way it looks like she's had a rough day, and isn't an unconscious cyborg," Mabel told the others. She and Dipper climbed into the truck, Mabel taking care of Tambry while Dipper took the front passenger seat.

"You three be careful," Stan told them as Soos started the truck up, "no one else needs to know!"

"Lips are sealed! With concrete!" Mabel told him as she waved out the window.

"Be careful you guys," Wendy called to the guys, situating herself on her bike.

"You too!" Dipper clawed his way out the window, pulling himself to lean on the roof of the car to face Wendy, "don't, you know, get hurt or anything! Right? Yeah. Stay safe!" Dipper lowered himself back into the car with a sigh. There was a small hum behind him, and he glanced behind his seat. Mabel was staring at him with a cocked eyebrow. "W-what?"

"You were acting real funny there," Mabel pointed out as the truck began to move forward.

"I- I was? No I wasn't," Dipper argued, afraid that the heat in his cheeks would betray his feelings. As Mabel studied him, it was the fortunate luck of the dark inside of the truck that veiled the rose color flourishing in his cheeks.

"I guess not," Mabel chewed the inside of her cheeks, clearly not believing what she was saying. Dipper turned away, now worried he may have given away a new-found secret. Last time his feelings had been this way towards someone, Mabel had unintentionally tormented her brother about his crush. He didn't need the same experiences twice in the same summer.

With a heavy heart and a confused mind, Dipper then decided it was in his best interests to cut out his feelings for Wendy. He was older now, and clearly there were more pressing matters at hand than his feelings for a girl three years older than him. He sighed quietly, uncomfortable at just giving the feelings up so easily. Dipper jumped at the knocking sound from his window, and he whipped his head to see big green eyes peering inside.

"Good luck Wendy!" Soos called.

Dipper stared at her, the girl across the glass pane. Her freckled face shone in the afternoon light as she rode her bike down the hill at the same rate as the car, smiling as she waved to the others. Her red hair billowed in the breeze behind her like ribbons in the wind, Dipper found the world slowing to a crawl. Even as she turned her confident grin away and rode past the car, Dipper was certain his heart was punching against his ribcage just a little harder than it should have been. He spotted himself in the mirror- his mouth had fallen open in a wide gape.

"Ugh," Dipper shook himself briefly. Getting that feeling out of his head would be harder than he'd expected. The redhead made it to the main street before they did, rapidly rolling down the hill until she vanished out of sight. Dipper was given a moment of clarity, and felt a build of sweat on his hands. His condition for Wendy could be a little more serious than he considered. "Dang it," he mumbled just above his breath.

"Hey, don't worry dude," Soos barely caught Dipper's words, causing the teen to jump, "we'll figure this all out."

"W-what? Oh right, Tambry, yeah. Yeah, was thinking about _this_ mess, not... yeah," Dipper turned away from Soos, aware his sister was still looking at him with a quizzical stare.

The truck started it's way towards the town, a particular junk heap the destination. The three wondered to each other the possibility that whatever they had discovered about Tambry could be something new, or that McGucket played a crucial role in the happening of her. Maybe was even the sole creator- his apparent robotic comprehension was astounding, and Mabel and Soos wouldn't rule the possibility out. Dipper constantly played devil's advocate- reminding them that without any evidence to back up their claims, they were just throwing around theories.

"But that's what we're dealing with, isn't it?" Mabel retorted to her brother, leaning past the still motionless Tambry, "a big 'ol hunk of theoretical crazy-town?"

"All we know is that one of these three things popped out of her," Dipper said, holding up one of the collected batteries, "that's it. Until we can get more solid clues, we can't just assume-"

"Hey, what if the other two came from other people like Tambry?" Soos suddenly blurted out, his face pale and his eyes wide. Dipper and Mabel gave him a look in thought, and then to one another. That hadn't even crossed their minds.

"Then... there could be more of her?" Mabel asked aloud, looking to Tambry.

"That's a theory right now," Dipper said strongly, more so to calm himself than the others. The possibility that there were people wandering around who were not themselves was creepy. "So, let's not jump to any more conclusions."

"But that's got some hefty evidence behind it!" Mabel declared, pointing to the cylinder Dipper held in his hands, "it's not even like my Aliens idea-"

"Still a crazy idea," Dipper rolled his eyes.

"-anyway," Mabel cut off her cutting off brother, "this one has the evidence you like getting! We saw it pop out of her! Like some sort of monster!"

"Sort of like a chest-erupting creature of some sort," Soos commented, his eyes squinting in dislike of whatever his mind was conjuring. His eyes then flashed red and blue, the mirror he peered in reflecting the light of a patrol car behind them. "Aw shoot!"

"What?" Dipper and Mabel spun around to peer out of the window. A Sheriff patrol car was riding Soos's tail, lights flashing and the siren occasionally wailing.

"Crud-stickers," Mabel growled, gripping her seat tightly. She then turned to Tambry, "just act natural."

"Keep those sunglasses on her," Dipper told his sister. "Soos, what's going on?"

"You got me dude," Soos admitted with worry, "I'm not a crazy driver or anything, and I'm pretty sure my speedometer was calibrated right! Aw man, I hope my license didn't fall off the truck again!"

The truck slid to the side of the road, coming to a halt just before the outskirts of Gravity Falls downtown. Sheriff Blubs stepped out of the patrol cruiser, adjusting his belt with a gruff look as he began to step up. Soos rolled down the windows as Blubs approached, and finally leaned into the window.

"What's the problem sir?" Soos asked with a nervous grin.

"License and registration," Blubs told him in business tones. Soos nodded and scrambled for his wallet.

"What's wrong, Sheriff?" Mabel asked from the backseat, leaning forward to pop her head above the front cushions. "We weren't bedazzling you with our gangsta vibes, were we?"

"Nope. Nothing bad today," Blubs told them as he took Soos's information, "just a routine traffic stop."

"Oh, that's a relief," Soos sighed as he was handed back his wallet and registration, "was afraid you'd notice Tambry's-"

"Soos!" Dipper shouted quickly. Soos stared ahead blankly, and slowly looked to Dipper, an apology seared into the man's eyes.

"-uh, that tambourines are in fashion," Soos corrected himself as he turned back to Blubs.

"They're all the rage," Mabel nodded, "I have, like, thirty of them."

"Hm. I guess I'm behind on what's hip these days," Blubs told them. "Everything seems in order here," he nodded, and then spotted past Mabel, a motionless girl. "Hey, Tambry. You doing good back there?"

Mabel and Dipper shared a terrified look. She wouldn't respond, how could she? It was one thing if they had been transporting Stan or Wendy somewhere and they were asleep, but Tambry wasn't someone who ever hung out alone with these three. It was already suspicious looking that she wore sunglasses as the sun slowly set behind them- the rays of light were beyond angles able to strike their eyes. Why would she be wearing sunglasses.

"Tambry? You okay there?" Blubs asked again, crooking an eyebrow behind his own thick sunglasses.

"Oh yeah, she's, uh, sick!" Mabel declared, "we saw her on the side of the road acting all BLAAAH and stuff, so we're going to take her home to rest up! Yeah!"

Blubs didn't reply to Mabel. His face was pointed directly at the unconscious girl. Without saying a word, Dipper knew the cop was suspicious. This could be really, really bad for them if he took her away before they could get answers.

"Take off your sunglasses," Blubs told Tambry, his tone more serious than it had been before.

"She's also asleep! Can't ride in cars without passing out- that's why we're taking her to the Junk yard!" Mabel yelped, a shaky smile hiding her panic.

"Mabel, what!?" Dipper rounded on his sister, who had also blurted out information they didn't need to pass on.

"Junkyard?" Blubs replied.

"Uh, yeah, because she's... Anemic?" Dipper tried explaining, "so we're taking her to a place with a lot of... Iron," Dipper resisted the urge to place a hand in front of his face at the sheer idiocy of his statement.

"Remove her glasses. I want to see her," Blubs told them. Mabel looked to Dipper, and then to Soos in the mirror. She wouldn't dare ignore a command from the Sheriff. With a sigh, she reached over, and yanked off the dark sunglasses. Dipper spluttered- Mabel had put a second pair of sunglasses on Tambry behind the larger ones at some point, this time with pink rims. Mabel turned to Sheriff Blubs with a wide grin.

"See? All good," Mabel told him. The sheriff stared, his face unreadable.

"I suppose so," he said with a small smile, "y'all stay safe, you hear?" he nodded to them, pinching the rim of his hat as he turned away.

The three watched Blubs go, barely turning their heads as he and his cruiser sped off, Deputy Durland hollering the entire way out as their tires screeched and left a trail of smoke. Silence fell upon the three as they realized they had gotten away with their deception.

"How does this town not descend into Anarchy?" Mabel asked finally.

The three continued their way through the town, more comfortable with the knowledge that the 'smartest and best' of the police department couldn't tell something was up with Tambry. Well, at least more assured that should another police officer come their way they would be easily passed by. Minutes passed by as did the buildings in the town as Soos's truck zoomed towards the junkyard.

"We're here," Soos told them as the truck slowed to a stop.

The three exited the truck, Dipper and Soos carrying Tambry as inconspicuously as they could. Drawing attention to themselves was something they needed to avoid. While a sleeping Tambry was an easy trick, dragging her limp body around wasn't as easy to explain, especially by the junkyard.

"Okay, so let's assume for a second that McGucket wants to see us at all, or he even remembers us," Dipper grunted while carrying Tambry's shoulders as Mabel pulled open a part of the chain fence blocking off the mountains of scrap, "what if he doesn't want to help us?"

"Of course he's going to remember us!" Mabel told her brother as he and Soos pushed under and into the junkyard. "We had a cool adventure together!"

"Sure, but his head isn't exactly, uh, stable," Dipper attempted explaining timidly.

"And his eyes don't point straight," Soos pointed out, "like a goat. I think he even eats like a goat."

"Goats are wonderful creatures of mother nature," Mabel defended, "adapt at any environment and able to eat anything. Even candy wrappers, and that stuff is crazy hard to eat."

"You would know, wouldn't you?" Dipper rounded on his sister with a smirk.

"The bravest souls try all paths of knowledge, including the test of edibility of all things," Mabel told Dipper in her wisest mentoring voice, "so shush. Don't be all hating on my need to eat weird stuff."

"Weird stuff?!"

The three of them spun in a gasp, Dipper and Soos dropping Tambry instantly. Jumping atop a pile of abandoned couches was an old, wiry man, wearing nothing but brown overalls and a large wide brimmed straw hat. This person's most distinguishing feature came in a trio- a long, bumpy nose, a pair of bulging, unfocused eyes, and a massively thick, long beard that fell past his knees. He was wild looking, untamed and clearly unclean.

"Well, spit shine my shoes and call me a cow-poke! Visitors! Aw, wait, no shoes today. Ah well!" Old Man McGucket cried from his post, slapping his knee quickly as he cheered at their arrival. He sounded perfectly suited for this environment- his voice twanged loudly, a hick drawl imbedded deep in his voice. "Wait a second," leaning closer, he spied them with a suspicious stare, "Do I know you hooligans? You all ain't the ones come slapping around my barrels of buckets of bolts, was ya? I got a broom smacking to return to ya!" he threatened, holding up a mangled and muddy wooden broom above his head dramatically.

"McGucket, it's us!" Mabel declared, her arms out on either side, "Mabel, Dipper, and Soos! We're one member short of our adventure, remember?"

"Eh- adventure?" McGucket dropped the broom, scratching the side of his head with the pole end.

"We stopped the society of the blind-eye together?" Dipper asked, "uh, your lost past?" The old man's eyes blinked separately, his stare bland and unclear as Dipper spoke. "Wait... here," Dipper cried, pulling out his hidden journal, "Remember this?" he held it above his head, closer to the old man. A holler followed, and McGucket slid on down the couches, chuckling all the way.

"Oh you're them youngin's who done and told me 'bout my past doings!" McGucket responded, patting Dipper and Soos on the shoulders, "That's right, ya'll gone and did me a big darn favor by getting me those memories back."

"A favor? Great!" Dipper replied, turning to Tambry, only just then realizing they had dropped her to the ground, "ah, Soos, help me here," Soos complied, and they lifted the teen so McGucket could see her fully, "we need your help."

"Dang it, Dibber, I'm a doctor," McGucket rubber his chin under his beard, "but not that kinda doctor. More of the buildin' up from them scraps here kinda doctor."

"Ugh, it's Dipper," Dipper re-iterated his name as Mabel snickered at his incorrectly spoken title, "and trust me. We need your kind of doctor."

"Yeah, she's some kind of freak super-robot thingy," Soos added with a fearful look to Tambry, "like, she can open her stomach and reveal to all the strange world inside of her."

"Uh... you sure that's the right thing?" McGucket pointed to Tambry, his head crooked to the side, "I'm pretty tootin' sure I seen her walkin' round town with them cell phones sticking by her face."

"We can show you! Look at these," Mabel reached inside Dipper's vest pocket, and retrieved one of the batteries, "strange technology," Mabel waved it about her head tantalizingly. This seemed to get McGucket's interest up, as his mouth fell open just a bit more than usual, exposing his few remaining teeth.

"Aw, I couldn't be helped to pass up sucha chance, could I?" McGucket hooted, spinning around twice to walk past them, "follow me to my entirely improvised laboratory. Maybe then we don't gots to worry about them coyotes spying on us."

"Yeah. Coyotes are going to spy on us, right," Dipper commented with a roll of his eyes.

The old man lead them through piles and heaps of broken cars, abandoned computers, rusted shopping crates, and the occasional rat the size of a small housecat. Mabel attempted to befriend many of the rodents, who found her sweater to be enjoyably tasty and edible. Dipper's scolding's just barely warned her away from the gathering trail of rats, who followed Mabel at a safe distance, eagerly eyeing her sweater.

"Here we are," McGucket said, approaching a large curtain propped up on a solitary single-set bathtub.

"This bathtub is your lab?" Dipper asked. There wasn't a single distinguishing feature about the tub as he eyed it. Rusty, cracked, filthy- the tub wasn't the exact thing Dipper had in mind when said lab.

"Nope, just needed the curtain," McGucket then pulled away the tattered worn fabric, and revealed a sprawling collection of functioning make-shift lab equipment. Cracked monitors flickered with numbers and statistical information, computers whirred and buzzed under the protection of a welded together roof-top. A large operating table was situated in the middle, were it was covered in piles of gears, fibers, and sheet metal.

"Oh... that's better," Dipper admitted, "why didn't you show us that to begin with?"

"I wanted to use the curtain for dramatic effect!" McGucket told him as he walked around the bathtub. The three followed, carrying the motionless young woman with them. "Lemme see that there blue thing," McGucket motioned for the blue cylinder. Mabel obliged and handed it to him. Sliding on a very thick pair of glasses onto his nose, McGucket studied the object up close. His eyes scanned the surface with his fingers, making note of its surface and appearance. "Not somethin' I've seen b'fore."

"One of the three we've found- yeah, we've got three," Dipper nodded as McGucket turned to stare at the teen, "came out of her. Floated out of her body like it was magnetically charged. What do you think it is?"

"Spectro-magne-chemimeter time!" McGucket cheered and rushed over to a pile of dirty briefcases, whipping one out and pulling out a gizmo that looked like a ray-gun from a bad fifties sci-fi movie. Placing the battery on the operating table, he aimed the gun at the object, and turned his eyes to a small LCD screen welded to the top of the scanner. "Wow! Call me a critter fritter and serve me with tea, this here thing is wild!"

"Hehehe, critter fritter," Soos chuckled, "I'm going to remember that one."

"What's wild about it?" Dipper asked, stepping to the old man.

"Aside from the fact it looks-" Mabel stuck her hands out and waved them around as she made spooky low-pitched wails. A rat had again lodged itself on her sweater, and she shook it off. "You already ate. No more nommin' on the Mabel sweater."

"It don't read up on any basic compound structure I seen before," McGucket told them, lowering his spectro-magne-chemimeter from the target. "You've found yerself some fancy smancy kind of thangy here!"

"How about her?" Dipper asked, motioning to Tambry. McGucket lifted back up his crazy piece of information gathering tech, and pointed it at Tambry. His eyes widened and he gasped.

"Put 'er on this here table!" McGucket cried out, shoving away the loose odds and ends that were scattered around.

"What is it, doctor?" Mabel asked, poking away another rat, eager for a nibble.

"I don't think I quite know," McGucket admitted worriedly as Dipper and Soos laid her on the table. The old man lifted her arm up and laid it across her stomach, and again directed the faux-ray gun at her. "What in tarnation is she made out of?"

"Made out of?" Dipper asked worriedly.

"Her skin isn't any kind of epidermal layer I've gone and studied," McGucket said in awe, looking at the arm with his own eyes.

"Huh. Sure felt like skin," Soos admitted, stepping next to the old man as he scampered around, lifting one of Tambry's eyelids to look in her eye. "Uh, don't hurt her?"

"Her eyes got them same readings!" McGucket announced, "a woven layer made of some sort of synthetic polymer," he poked Tambry's forehead, "certainly feels like skin."

"But it's not? What is she then?" Dipper demanded, stepping closer to the old crazed scientist.

"Eh, you got me. But, if she is a robot girl, like you ya tellin' me," McGucket lazily tossed aside the sensor-ray, which crashed into a pile of broken lamps, "then she'll most likely respond to a tickle!"

"Um... a tickle?" Dipper asked, watching McGucket spin away, pulling out another brief case.

"We're going to awake her with the power of laughter?" Mabel gasped, "It's like every cartoon I've ever seen is coming to life!"

"Well, not exactly," McGucket chuckled darkly, lifting above his head tow live wires, cackling and sparkling dangerously above him.

"You're going to electrocute her?" Soos gasped, "but that could hurt her!"

"She's a robot, didn't you say? She probably don't even feel no pain," the old man defended.

"But-"

"Soos, he's right," Dipper told his friend, "we need some answers. And we all saw her do that crazy not-human stuff earlier, so it's not like she's like us. I say let's find out what happens. Mabel?" Dipper turned to his sister, giving her the chance to choose a stance on the matter.

Mabel looked between the cackling scientist and the unmoving girl on the rust table. She hadn't wanted any harm to come of Tambry to begin with, and now, to get answers they were about to electrocute her. This didn't exactly sit right with her. Then again, Dipper was right- they had seen her stomach open up like a crazy easy-bake oven for the future. If her belly opening up didn't kill her, what harm could a little electricity do?

"Just not too much fry-power, right?" Mabel asked to McGucket. The old scientist shrugged, cackling, and stuck the wires to either hands, using pliers to keep them in place. Dipper and Mabel saw a quick spark burst off the metal table, electricity conducting through Tambry's body to the table. The girl didn't budge. Not even a quiver came in the form of reaction.

"Huh. That shoulda have been enough to jump-start a sleepin' heart," McGucket scratched his nose, squinting at the conducting woman, "well, I guess it's time to turn up the power."

"Not by much," Mabel protested. McGucket made his way to the briefcase, and removed the cables from the battery he was using.

"Eh, I _think_ this is legal," the old man mentioned as he quickly bandaged the wires to a power box connected to the power lines outside his junkyard, "now, let's see what happens when I give her a little push."

McGucket leapt away from the power-box as sparks flew out of it. The lights outside the power line shimmered and flickered, being drained by McGucket's action. Tambry trembled and squirmed as bolts of electricity shot out from the table under her, a freakish display of Frankensteinian proportions. Mabel had jumped for Dipper, pulling him and Soos behind the pile of couches with McGucket as they watched the electricity zap around, out of control.

Slowly, the bolts of electricity start to arc upwards. Rather than connecting to the piles of cars or televisions, they whipped around and hit the girl, passing through her body, and then collecting back into her. Her eyelids began to bleed out a shining blue light, flickering with each bolt of electricity that struck her. Soon the lights in town, just down the street were flickering and dying as the girl on the table shimmered and glowed brightly.

The power box connected to the power-line exploded, sending it's side panels flying all around the junkyard. The power in the town began to stabilize as the lights reset and return to a soft glow. The girl on the table was glowing in the stomach, clearly the panel sliding open and revealing the inner workings of the young woman. Falling to the sides of the table were the copper wires once attached to her, sizzling into an ashy line on either sides of Tambry.

"Welp. That's a new one," McGucket stated as the four of them crept back to the table, anxiously inspecting the woman. "Least she looks like a robot now, all them lights coming out of her."

"Man, we could have fried the entire town's power grid," Dipper said as he turned back to the town, viewing the darkening skies and the still recovering power line lights.

"Dipper, we're in the middle of Oregon wilderness," Mabel reminded him, "I bet half the people here would only notice it getting colder and darker."

"Truth," Soos commented, pointing to Mabel.

"So, now what?" Dipper asked to McGucket, who had removed his hat to scratch his bald head. "She's not human, right?"

"I don't rightly know what she is," McGucket told him, "if she's human, she got a heckuva electrical tolerance."

Tambry gasped loudly, her eyes opening up. All four of them yelled and jumped away from her. McGucket took the retreat a step further, actually leaping behind the twins, and screaming, "It's alive! It's alive!" and scuttling away on his arms and legs over piles of trash and material.

"Uhh, my head," Tambry blinked, the light behind her eyes fading to the normal look her brown eyes should have. Rubbing her head, she looked around with a pained stare, "wait. Am I in the junkyard- wait, what!?" Tambry started up quickly, pushing herself from the table, and staring around her, and then to the three.

"Tambry, right?" Dipper asked to the young woman before him. Tambry blinked, and then smiled.

"Dreaming. It's just a dream- update for when I wake up," Tambry nodded and leant back down, closing her eyes. "Just close your eyes and don't look at the dweebs."

Dipper looked between the other two. Mabel had been right- the woman before them was certainly not acting out of the ordinary. She was disbelieving and snarky to the three of them, but considering the circumstances he would permit Tambry to act this way. There was not a hint of strangeness in her voice, or her actions. She seemed perfectly human, aside from the glowing square in the gut.

"This ain't no time to be dreaming, purple-haired one," Mabel said to Tambry, the first to approach her, but cautiously.

"Mmhmm," Tambry grunted back, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Yeah dude, this is totally real. Like, things hurt for real," Soos told her, and promply lifted a thin metal sheet and smacked the side of his head with it, "ow. See?" he hit himself again, "ow. Hurts plenty real."

"I don't feel anything," Tambry scolded Soos while daring to peel her eyelid back and look at them. Mabel shrugged and approached her, leaning forward to stare back at the purple hair-dyed girl. "What?" Tambry asked Mabel. The younger teen's reply was to jab her in the eye. "OW! The heck are you-" The young woman froze in mid-rub of her injured eye. Realization seemed to be creeping in. The faint traces of wind billowed in the wilderness, shaking the leaves in the woods as the sky continued to grow darker.

"Looks like things are what they seem between you and _eye_," Mabel grinned as she pointed to her own eye in the pun, "hehehe, soo what _eye_ did there? Ha!"

Mabel's humor was lost upon the girl before her. Tambry's line of sight had started drifting lower and lower to her own body, a dawning fear growing on her face. Only then did the three realize- while her eyes had discontinued their glowing, the light from her opened panel in her stomach had not ceased. Her fingers trembled as they reached down, and slowly lifted the shirt up, just high enough to see the edges of the opening in her body.

"Maybe you could explain us that?" Dipper asked strongly.

Her response was a little too shrill to do anything else but cover his ears. Tambry let off an ear-splitting cry of terror, shoving herself off the table, scrambling away from the three of them as she stared at her stomach. Her head kept shaking back and forth, unable to comprehend what she was seeing.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" she bellowed, her hands dancing at either side of the glowing section of her opening, as if she wanted to examine her newest feature, but was too afraid to touch anything. "WHAT- HOW- WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?" She screamed at the three of them.

"We did?!" Dipper called back, resisting the urge to cringe at her accusations. She was on the verge of tears; her lips trembled as her eyes shone in the dim light around her.

"What is this!? I'm freaking glowing! What the hell is this?!" she screamed, finally pulling up her shirt to see her inside compartment of wires and glowing tubes. "Oh... my... GAAWWD!"

"Cut the act!" Dipper stepped closer, pointing an accusatory finger to her, "tell us who you really are!"

"W-w-what!?" the glowing young woman stuttered at Dipper's accusations.

"You're not really Tambry, are you? Some sort of fake, or replacement. What are you doing here in Gravity Falls!" Dipper ordered.

"I live here?" Tambry desperately sought a proper reply. "Oh man, what the heck am I going to do? People will think I'm some sort of freaking Christmas tree!"

"What?" Dipper gasped at her strange reaction.

"I'm going to freakin' college!" Tambry shouted, "how can I go walking around like I've got light bulbs for organs!"

"You can always get a wrap," Soos suggested.

"Dipper," Mabel reached over and pulled her brother to speak to him face to face, not looking to Tambry, "I don't think she knows anything."

"But then if she doesn't know anything, why hasn't she gone off and run away yet?" Dipper asked. There was a patter of running feet and the shaking of a chain fence. "Did she just-" Dipper asked Soos, who was looking away.

"Ah, yeah, she just took off," Soos told the two of them. Mabel and Dipper spun, spotting Tambry jumping down from the fence, taking off towards town.

"Crud! We don't know what could happen if she gets into town!" Dipper shouted out loud, "we got to get her back!"

"AFTER THAT CYBORG!" Mabel screamed, pointing a finger dramatically at the running Tambry.

"Maybe she prefers to be called 'synthetic'," Soos pointed out, and Mabel nodded.

"Oh, okay," Mabel cleared her throat, "AFTER THAT SYNTHETIC!"

"You know, thinking about it, maybe Synthetic is a little cold. Maybe artificial organism is better," Dipper told the other two.

"Yeah, that sounds nicer," Soos nodded in agreement. Mabel sighed, and again pointed dramatically.

"AFTER THAT ARTIFICIAL ORGANISM!"

The three scrambled under the fence again, and were back in the truck as fast as they could. By the time the truck was rolling up the street, they could see Tambry running down the street, one arm trying to contain the spilling light from her midsection as she fled from the three of them.

The young woman cut across the street, dissapearing down an alleyway that opened to the main street. Soos shouted, "hold on!" and twisted his wheel dramatically. The truck turned quickly, and found its front entering the alley after Tambry. The woman spun around once, her eyes full of panic as they gave chase. She made her exit first, and charge down the street again.

"Is anyone else getting the feeling," Mabel asked in the truck as Soos ran over a series of trash cans, "that we're the bad guys here?"

"What? No!" Dipper shouted, "we're trying to stop her from doing... whatever she could do!"

"Yeah, rampaging synthetic- err, artificial organism on the loose doesn't sound too cool, dawg," Soos agreed.

"We're chasing her down in a truck while she runs for her life," Mabel pointed out, as Soos started to catch up with the girl.

"Well, when we get a chance to calm her down and get some answers-" Dipper nodded his head side to side, not liking the accusations his sister was making. As he did, Tambry gave a complete stop in the middle of the sidewalk, and turned around. "Crud! Soos!"

"I see her," Soos called to Dipper. The truck screeched to a halt, and he reversed it backwards as Tambry ran across the street, tossing herself over a hedge and past the buildings on the edge of the street. "Whoa! She's desperate."

"Makes you wonder what she's trying to hide!" Dipper growled, seeing her light giver her position away in the woods, "Soos, can we track her with your truck?"

"I don't think so dude," Soos shook his head sadly, coming to the side of the street where she had just barreled over the green vegetation.

"Then we got to get her by foot," Dipper commanded, opening the side door, ready to give chase.

"Hey, Dipper," Mabel followed suit as Dipper lead the run, "maybe you're trying a little hard for answers?"

Dipper didn't answer, he couldn't bare to think of anything else but grabbing the girl and demanding some serious explanations. How else could he get closer to solving this? She was their number one lead on whatever was going on, and she was doing her darn hardest to get away. Surely if innocent, she would just try to explain everything to the best of her understanding. No, she was running. She must know something.

"Tambry!" Dipper called out, the woman easily some fifty feet head of them, climbing past trees and fallen logs, flicking her gaze behind her occasionally to check on their progress.

"Hey! Wait!" Mabel ran faster than Dipper, able to utilize the trees around her to propel herself fast than anyone else in this chase, gaining on Tambry quickly. "We're not going to hurt you!"

"Dawg! Chill out for a second!" Soos huffed as he ran just behind Dipper, only having trouble leaping over the fallen trees on the earthy ground as they ran up hill in the dark woods.

"Leave me alone!" Tambry shouted in her gasps for air. Mabel was on her heels now, able to speak to her without shouting, which was a surprising talent considering both girls were running as fast as they could.

"C'mon, just for a bit! We promise to keep our distance if that makes you feel better? Pinky promise!" Mabel held up her hand and poked out her said finger, grinning.

"I don't want anything to do with you!" Tambry shouted, pushing her hand away as she turned again, sliding down a small incline. "Just go away!"

"Ah, c'mon," Mabel cried as she stopped, giving herself a moment to breathe a little. Soos and Dipper can jogging up after her, panting heavily, "see? She's just scared," Mabel told her red-faced brother.

"How... can... you... talk... while... running?" Dipper asked his sister in awe.

"Training, my young grasshopper!" Mabel grinned. Dipper scowled and stumbled on, pushing his feet onward for the sake of a resolution to this mystery. "Dipper, maybe we _should_ leave her alone."

"Not a chance!" Dipper shouted as Soos followed in pursuit. Mabel groaned and also followed, upset with her obsessive brother.

The four ran uphill in the woods, crashing and tumbling over broken branches and shattered stems. Mabel would easily catch up with the running girl, who like Dipper, was not exactly trained for this kind of endurance, and ask politely if she would stop to talk. Each time Tambry would shout back to be alone. Finally came the end of the woods, and Mabel found herself following Tambry to the edge of the cliffs that overlooked Gravity Falls, where Mabel had gone hours earlier to let off steam.

"Wait!" Mabel shouted, halting her progress as Tambry ran closer and closer to the edge, "don't jump! You could hurt yourself!" Mabel warned the hair dyed young woman. She came to a stumbling stop at the edge, peering down the side as if to measure the benefits of possibly breaking a leg to get away from the three of them.

Dipper and Soos arrived just as Tambry faced them. The lights in her stomach shone out from under her shirts fabric, bleeding out a haunting fluorescent warmth. Her shoulders heaved endlessly as she gasped for air.

"Okay, you've got no where else to run," Dipper told her bluntly, "so, whatever you've been hiding from us, just tell us now and we'll leave you alone."

"How- how-" Tambry groaned and rolled her eyes as she struggled for air, "how many times do I have to tell you: I don't know anything!"

"That doesn't make sense!" Dipper called back, taking a few steps closer to her, "we asked you what you knew, and your first instinct was to run away? Not to figure this out?"

"I woke up to find out I've been turned into some sort of crazy robot-thingy! Like I'm all... artificial!" Tambry said, giving her own hands a fearful glance, "I don't care what you want from me, okay? I just want you not to touch me again!"

"We didn't touch you!" Mabel pleaded, trying to ease her brother back with a hand on his shoulder, "I promise you we're just trying to figure all of this out."

"Yeah, c'mon dawg," Soos added in, pushing himself upright as he had been heaving for air this entire time, "we're not trying to do anything to you."

"You tried running me over in your car!" Tambry pointed angrily at him.

"Okay, first of all, it's a truck. Second of all-" Soos started.

"We didn't need to chase you if you hadn't gone running off!" Dipper shouted back.

"You try waking up and seeing you've been turned into a robot thing!" Tambry screamed at Dipper, a tear making it's way past her face.

Dipper's argument fell apart. This woman, this hypothetical cyborg, was crying. A robot was crying in front of them, her makeup running along the trail of the tear. He turned to Mabel, shocked and uncertain what to do next. She returned his stare with one of anxiety and guilt. They had done this to her.

The idea was ludicrous to him, but Dipper finally considered the possibility: what if she hadn't known she was a robot? Maybe she was somehow programmed so well that she wasn't aware of her inhumanity. It would explain the fear, the stumbling, the human like reactions to everything she had done to reply to his demand for answers. What kind of situation had they forced this eighteen year old into?

"It's like," Tambry wiped away a year, smearing her cheek with dark eyeliner, "wow. I'm not even human anymore. This isn't a dream. I'm really no longer me, am I?"

"I..." Dipper could only manage. This was not the kind of ending to the chase he had expect or wanted. Her eyes shone in the dim light, full of fear.

"You can't even tell me. I bet I'm some sort of experiment, aren't I?" Tambry continued, taking a step backwards to the cliff.

"Hey, be careful," Soos warned her, his hands up, "you're gettin' real close to the edge there, dude."

"What does it matter, huh?" Tambry laughed desperately, choking on one of her intakes of breath," I'm not even me. Even if I fall, I bet some loser programmer can just plug me into a computer and download my life. Like, are even my memories real?"

"You are real," Dipper told her definitively, trying to keep a steady pace closer to her, "listen, just because this happened doesn't mean you're not real."

Tambry didn't reply, her feet met the edge, small pebbles and clumps of grass falling off the side of a fifty foot drop. She looked up to the skies, the stars in her eyes and she let a sigh escape past her lips. With that sigh, she made to take a step behind her.

"What's your name!?" Mabel suddenly shrieked. Tambry stumbled forward, eyes to Mabel.

"What?" she asked.

"What is your name?" Mabel repeated slowly.

"I'm Tamb- why?" Tambry spluttered, "what difference does it make?"

"Eactly!" Mabel pointed to her, calmly stepping closer, "okay, so maybe you're not exactly yourself. Like, a lot of you went and changed, right?" Mabel nodded for Tambry, who eventually mimed the teenager, "okay, so you know who you are. Why are you still freaking out then?"

"Because I'm not me!"

"Yes you are! What's the first thing that came to your mind when I asked you who you were?" Mabel tried, a warm smile growing on her face. The older teen blinked, a growing realization Mabel planted in her mind spreading. "See? You're just you. But now glowy! And, come one, that's kind of cool."

"But if I'm not real Tambry-"

"Who says that?" Mabel asked. She was now a few feet from her, and held out her hand. "Come away from there. We don't want you to hurt yourself, okay? No more dramatic cliff stuff."

Tambry looked back once, and in instinctual fear took a long step away from the edge. She was next to Mabel, finally calming down. Her glow was still present, and as she looked between the others, she could see the light reflecting in their eyes.

"This should be a dream. This is weird than... wait, you two," Tambry looked to Dipper and Mabel, "you two were with me when I was sucked into the TV, right? Why does weird stuff always happen when you two are around?!"

"Hey, we just chase the odd stuff. It doesn't find us... usually," Dipper added at the end, recalling the many times chance or fate lined them up for an encounter with the unknown.

"Whatever," Tambry rolled her eyes to them, "okay. So, I've been robot-fied. What, uh, do we do to... you know, fix me?"

"Well, we could try turning you off and then back on again," Soos laughed at his own joke, the three glaring at him. "Haha. Yeah. Zinger, Soos."

"Honestly Tambry," Dipper started, "I don't really know. We've never dealt with this kind of stuff before. It's sort of new territory for us to have someone who's been turned into a robot."

"Dipper, what if I-" Mabel started, but Dipper quickly punched her shoulder, "ow!"

"What if you what?" Tambry asked Mabel suspiciously.

"She thinks that, uh, she has an idea how to figure this out," Dipper lied, certain she was actually going to worry more about turning Tambry into the robot-thing she was currently.

"You really think you can?" Tambry turned to Mabel, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Well... you never know until you try, right?" Mabel shrugged after a look from Dipper to have her play along.

"Okay. I'll go with you two," Tambry said with a slow, uncertain nod, "just... lemme take a second, okay? I want to figure out how to close this stupid... thing," Tambry turned away, facing the town as she looked to her glowing stomach opening.

"Sure, we'll be waiting by the trees," Dipper told her. As they approached the forest edge, he leaned to the others, "So, what are we thinking?"

"I think she's being honest," Mabel said pleasantly.

"You think everyone is honest," Dipper reminded her.

"I think that Old Man McGucket wont want to help us after what happened before," Soos said sadly.

"Maybe we can bring her to him later. He's still our best bet with how to figure out what's going on," Dipper told the two of them. He glanced behind himself, the eighteen year old standing in the moonlight as she glared at where her bellybutton should be. She was far enough away form the cliffs for Dipper to not worry for her safety.

"Dipper, do you really still think she's lying about this to us?" Mabel asked her twin.

"I trust her now," Dipper turned away, "she was really freaked out earlier. Maybe I was a little too pushy."

"Gee, ya think?" Mabel scolded him with a tiny glare.

"Besides I think it'd be hard for her to lie that well. I can't see robots being that good at faking emotions," Dipper reasoned, "then again-" There was a flash of light behind them and they glanced behind them. "Tambry?"

She was gone.

"Tambry?" Dipper called loudly around them. Mabel gasped and ran ahead, peering off the side of the cliff. As she reached the edge, she found nothing below her. It had just happened, and the lack of trees and bushes meant if Tambry had fallen down below, she wouldn't have had time to find a hiding spot.

"Oh dude, what just happened?" Soos gaped as they looked around. I... I don't get it. She was right here."

"Hey! Tambry!" Mabel added to the chorus.

"TAMBRY!" Dipper yelled into the woods, "WE PROMISED WE WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING! TAMBRY!"

Nothing but the light trembling of leaves against the wind responded to Dipper.

The woods were combed viciously for a solid hour as the three scanned around. There was little to no indication that Tambry had even moved from her place by the cliffs. The dirt by her shoes had been left with her imprints, yet no more followed away from her last known spot. No sounds of running, no hasty breaths; a dead end. All of the possible answers went up in smoke.

Dipper was the last to give in. Three hours after their departure from the Mystery Manor, the three returned, only to answer the army of questions Grunkle Stan had for them. They explained everything they could, and when they could not get a proper answer, Mabel would just blow her lips and tongue with a loud raspberry.

"Just get to bed for now," Grunkle Stan eventually told them, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion and annoyance. He had also wanted answers, but more so had been worried for their safety the entire time.

Dipper would not sleep that night. Mabel also stayed up late, the two of them silently staring at the ceiling, wondering what had really happened that evening. Where had Tambry gone? Was she okay? Could they ever discover the answers?

The following morning provided Dipper a second chance for his imperious thirst for knowledge. Dragging his sister to the car past their Grunkle Stan, Dipper got them both into his car, and they drove back into town.

"Dipper, maybe we should put up a missing person flier," Mabel asked sadly as they drove into town.

"We won't need to. We're going to find her," Dipper told her, "besides, that's her families job. If we're going to do anything like that, we should point out to them that she's been gone for a while, or something."

"Dipper, what if it was my fault. What if these dang things," Mabel lifted up two of the three cylinders, "do turn people into robot thingies?"

"I don't know. That still wouldn't explain how she vanished suddenly," Dipper reminded her, "they havn't changed at all, have they?" he asked, peering to her quickly as he drove through town.

"Not a single blip, blop, or bloop difference to them," Mabel informed him with a sigh. "I can't look at these pretty things without thinking I've done something bad to Tambry."

Dipper said nothing. Driving by a street that would lead to the mall, his mind finally let itself rest on the possibility that those sticks did indeed turn people into cyborgs somehow. It didn't make sense- that kind of science fiction craziness shouldn't even be possible. Then again, he had seen even crazier things. Body switching carpets, crystals that emitted size changing beams of light, the concept of gnomes, this wasn't exactly a town known for it's perfect obedience to the laws of physics.

"DIPPER!"

Dipper slammed the brakes instantly. The black car came to a screeching halt, and he turned to his sister, panting.

"Holy mackerel! Mabel, what the heck!?" Dipper demanded of his sister. She wasn't staring at him. Instead, she slowly lifted a finger past him, and pointed to the other side of the street.

There laid a cellphone by the sidewalk, still flipped open on the ground. A girl with purple dyed hair walked over, picked it up, and lazily examined it before continuing to punch in a text message or digital social media update of some sort.

"Tambry," Dipper said quietly, staring at the girl with disbelief. The twins exchanged a glance, and then scrambled to leave the car. "Tambry!" Dipper called as he ran directly to the sidewalk, his sister sliding over the hood of his car to speed her approach.

"Huh?" Tambry turned and gave them both a bored, tired expression. "What do you want?"

"Tambry, it's us," Mabel told the older teen, "where have you been?"

"Uh... who're you?" Tambry asked, taking half a step away from them.

"Last night, Tambry, the stuff last..." Dipper stopped half way through his sentence. Unlike the night before, the person before them was perfectly collected and relaxed. She sullenly looked at the twins before glancing at her phone and completing whatever she had been texting. "Uh, do you remember what you did last night?"

"I was at home. You know, where I live?" Tambry snidely told the two of them, "Sorry, do we even know each other?"

"It's me, Mabel!" the girl twin declared, "and this is Dipper? Remember?" Tambry gave them a studying glance before gasping. "Right! You remember?"

"Yeah, how could I not," Tambry said with an exasperated sigh, "not exactly normal to be sucked into a television world."

"Righ- wait, what?" Mabel cut herself off.

"We went to the Dusk 2 Dawn store? Was haunted, right?" Tambry told them the smallest smile on her lips. "Right? You two were like, ten back then."

"We were twelve," Dipper told her.

"Whatever. Well, it was nice catching up with you," Tambry gave them a half hearted smile that was clearly forced, "but I'm going to continue living my life with as few reminders of that night as possible. See you around never."

"What?" Mabel gasped, watching as Tambry turned away slowly, and walked down the sidewalk. "Dipper, what the heck is-" Dipper stepped over to his sister and snatched from her hands the two blue cylinders, "Dip?"

"You said you started rubbing these two together, right?" Dipper asked as he pushed the two ends together and began to twist one end against the other in opposite directions.

"Dipper, you can't be serious!" Mabel tried snatching them back, but Dipper was determined. He lunged ahead, and furiously pushed the two ends together. Nothing followed. There was a small pop of energy, and Dipper looked down. He could see the hints of static breaking away from the two cylinders. Nothing dramatic soared out and hit her back though.

"Nothing," Dipper sighed and let his hands fall to the side.

"What if it had worked, you jerk!" Mabel snatched them away, pocketing them quickly, "and that was the real Tabmry! You could have hurt her!"

"We don't know if she's the real thing yet," Dipper slowly told his sister, "we have nothing to indicate that-"

Tambry, at the other end of the sidewalk slipped on a loose magazine on the ground, and fell ahead of her. The two twins watched her land roughly, and cringe. She had scraped the side of her right hand's palm badly. Red splotches of irritated skin darkened as she growled at the magazine before kicking it aside, and pouting her way down the sidewalk.

"Okay... she was almost bleeding," Dipper pointed out, "I think you're right on this one," Dipper told his sister with a sigh.

"Darn tootin' I'm right," Mabel agreed strongly. "I'm keeping these for now on, you got it mister?"

"Okay, okay," Dipper sighed, hands in his pockets, "I sort of let this one go to my head, didn't I?"

"Hey, it's okay egg-head," Mabel teased his brother with a poke between the eyes, "we've just got to keep an eye out for now on, you know?"

"Ha, how about four eyes?" Dipper gave his sister a small smile and nudged her shoulder. She giggled back and the two of them headed for the car. As Mabel slid back into her seat and closed the door, Dipper got the car moving again. The even passed the injured and less pleasant Tambry as they drove down the street. Mabel gave the girl a quick glance in the side mirror, and blinked.

It looked like Tambry's eyes glowed for just a moment. But when Mabel's eyes opened again, the light was gone. It must have been a tick of the light.

* * *

And so came and passed the episode with Tambry in it. Sure, she'll be back, along with a few of the others within the town, but that was among the most interaction we'll see in season one. With her. Possibly forever. Huh.

SO! Do you like Gravity Falls? I hope so! You're reading this, after all! Do you like Aliens? No, not the kind with big grey eyes and weird green skin with tall heads n stuff, I mean the ones with NO eyes, tall heads and lots of pointy teeth and fangs! Chestbursters, facehuggers, queens and... well, xenomorphs. No? Aww. Yes? WELL YOU SHOULD TRY OUT THE NEWEST STORY THATS ABOUT ALL THAT: Aliens.

With the wonderful talents of TheEquestrianidiot 2.0, we are creating a re-telling/re-hashing/crossover? of the 1986 epic horror action piece Aliens, using your favorite characters! Mabel! (she's Ripley) Wendy! (She's in it too!) uh... Robbie! (he's in it... yay) and a whole lot of other people that I can't talk about because **SPOILERS**.

In fact, my buddy TheEquestrianidiot 2.0 and I are offering a chance for you guys, the reader, to get something out of our story! A challenge was released to the wonderful public in chapter three, where we ask, essentially, 'what's in the box'? Guess correctly, and you get to tell us to write a one-shot involving Gravity Falls of ANYTHING YOU WANT. Cool huh?

So what are you waiting for? You gotta try everything once, right? (A facehugger lunges at EZB, who then struggles to pull it off his face, and eventually falls to his doom into a vat of molten lead. Odd place for a vat of molten lead to be in a college dorm, but Weytani-Yuland digresses.)

[Bonus points for those who can count the number of references made in this episode total. That includes the last week's update.]

* * *

**16-12-5-1-19-5 18-5-1-20-20-1-3-8 25-15-21-18 20-1-13-2-18-25 20-15 1 16-15-23-5-18 19-15-21-18-3-5.**


	12. Classic Rock: Part 1

The door slammed behind Dipper as he exited his car hurriedly. His shoes scraping against the gravel covered ground, he ran into the Mystery Manor, passing a few construction workers as they wrapped up their morning shift on the building. The young teen held a collection of books under his arm, having once again rented from the Library in Gravity Falls.

His feet echoed against the wooden floorboards, heralding his passing for Wendy and Soos, who both retained their position in Gift Shop. Dipper wanted to say hello, maybe ask how their days have been, and maybe direct some funny, witty comment to Wendy, but his mind was set. Soos was fussing with the radio anyway, so getting a word in was less attractive to the moment. Climbing the stairs, Dipper entered his room past the poster covered door.

"Yo bro!" Mabel said, in a well-executed hand stand on her bed frame, holding herself upright without a wobble in her stance. "You find those info-maniac books you needed?"

"References," Dipper corrected her as he tossed his shoes off and leapt to his bed.

"References to what? You're starting some stupid English assignment this early in the summer, are you?" Mabel demanded, completing the task of turning with her hands, twisting her arms to face her brother while still suspended upside down.

"They're references to everything that's happened in the past ten years in Gravity Falls," Dipper told her in one breath, "see, towns keep track of pretty much everything- or at least they should. Power outages, accidents, deaths, births, population- everything should be tracked in these," Dipper patted the books.

"I didn't know you wanted to grow up to be an encyclopedia of all that is boring," Mabel grinned at him.

"Ha-ha. With this information," Dipper said after a glare to his sister, "there's a chance we can correlate when someone had the chance to move in town and then create or introduce a sophisticated android-robot-thing that replaced Tambry."

"That's assuming I didn't turn her into one," Mabel admitted, allowing herself to fall to her bed with a gloomy 'oomf'.

"Mabel, we went through this: we've seen magic before. Maybe a spell could have done that, sure," Dipper assured her with a strong look, "but this is some sort of technology. It's built with metal, works around electricity- if it's got magic enough to do something like that, then... well, I don't know what then."

"Ugh. I hate not knowing if I'm a monster of a human being," Mabel groaned from her position, and leaned on one hand to look at Dipper, "do you think if we catch her again, we'll have a chance to undo it?"

"No idea. I'm already suspicious of Tambry anyway. She told us she was in her home last night, right?" Dipper told Mabel, "but she clearly never goes anywhere without her phone. If she _really_ had been at home, wouldn't she have gone back for the phone you saw her drop when you zapped her?"

Mabel gasped, a hand at her mouth. "You don't think she... lied?!" Mabel declared.

"It's a possibility. If the Tambry walking around now town is a robot, maybe she was programmed to believe it, so technically it wouldn't have been a lie. Or maybe it is Tambry, and she just forgot her phone at the same place.. oh come one," Dipper looked through the book, disappointed as he scowled at the numbers, "whole dang weeks just go unaccounted for. Way to be organized, Gravity Falls."

"Well this isn't Norway, where they have everything in line, duh!" Mabel told her brother. "It's 'Murica!"

Dipper sighed, and dropped away that one book about incidents involving insurance claim and rises in total insurance cost. He lifted a reference in power regulation for the town, and shuffled through the pages. Mabel wasn't wrong- these numbers were repetitive and boring, but necessary to Dipper. Then he noticed something. There were gaps in recorded days, but one week was the exact same as in the other book.

"Huh," Dipper noted aloud, and laid that one down, and lifted another book, this time on law-breaking with crime and punishment. "This one too?" Dipper asked. The same week didn't appear in the book.

"Dip?" Mabel asked, hanging her head from the side of her bed. His eyes were widening, and he was scrambling through books, finding a single page and then moving to another book.

"All these references... all of them," Dipper held up three books in his hands, "they all are missing an exact, single week from two and a half years ago."

"You mean, like, after we left that one summer?" Mabel asked, rolling herself upright to talk to him.

"Yeah. From December tenth to the seventeenth there is no data. Of anything!" He laid out his books around him, shocked at this coincidence. "That's eight records of this town having the exact week missing. One solid week of missing data throughout the town? That can't be an accident," Dipper said with a shaking breath.

"So... what does it mean?" Mabel asked with uncertainty. The two stared at one another, reading into each others eyes, hoping for a common thought. No such idea passed by and Dipper groaned.

"I don't know," he admitted, closing the books around him. Like the entire chase last night, it ended with more questions than answers. Sure, it was a strange coincidence, but it wasn't anything more than a coincidence until they could correlate data. Dipper's eyes turned towards his desk, where the three cylinders lay silent, gently humming their blue light. What he needed now was an experienced opinion on the matter. Someone who knew the workings of this town better than them. Someone they trusted.

"Soos!" a voice called from below, cranky and deeper in register. A huge fluorescent light bulb flashed in Dipper's head. He had someone like that at his disposal.

* * *

"Yes, mister pines?" Soos asked, turning from his radio.

"I've come to the decision- ugh, turn that down, would you," Stanley Pines ordered as music blared over the radio, "I don't need Valhalla shouting at me from my own gift shop."

"Oh, that's just Duskhope," Soos told him with a pleasant smile, "I can't believe you've never heard of them."

"They sound like a rock band invaded a movie orchestra and told them to work with them or die," Stan described as the music rocked on behind Soos. The music was strong and aggressively inspiring, gripping the air around the stereo with an iron, orchestrally accompanied fist.

"They're the greatest symphonic-rock-orchestral band that's ever come out! The band has been around for ages. Their leader, Zander Maximillion, is a prodigy of music," Soos informed Stan.

"Metal," Wendy piped up from behind her usual post and magazine, "They're a metal band."

"Oh, right, my bad," Soos apologize.

"You listen to this stuff too?" Stan turned and stared at her.

"Eh. Robbie loved their music," Wendy sighed as she turned a page, "never shut up about how he would become their lead guitarist. As far as Soos's taste in music go, it's certainly at the top. Can't say they're bad at what they do."

"Moving on from the topic I literally can not care less about," Stan claimed as he turned back to Soos, scratching his back through his con-man's suit," I've come to the decision that I'll need a night-watch when this whole construction project is done wrapping up."

"Oh wow! A new position!" Soos exclaimed excitedly, "who are you considering?"

"No one. You've got the job," Stan told him plainly. "Congratulations. You know how to stay up late, right?"

"Oh. I, uh, yeah?" Soos nodded quickly, shocked at this news. His reaction seemed to surprise Grunkle Stan, who took a step closer to him. "You sure there isn't someone else better qualified?"

"What aren't you telling me, Soos?" Stan asked, his eyes boring into Soos's, "if I hadn't known better, I would have thought you were reluctant to take this job."

"Oh! No! No, no, no! That's not it at all," Soos stumbled as he tried assuring his employer, "I, uh, just... you know, I thought I was the handy-man."

"It's a promotion, Soos. Now you tell people at night that we don't offer tours past the hours of seven in the afternoon and before ten in the morning, and that we put the fun in no refunds," Stan told him easily, trying to ease his long term employee into the idea.

"I don't know... I'm not exactly good at handling people," Soos admitted, fiddling with the radio dial behind him absentmindedly.

"Aw, c'mon Soos," Wendy piped up, lifting her feet off from their position on the counter, "you're great with people- you're just not that same kind businessman that Stan is."

"Exactly," Stan nodded, "Look, Soos, I don't need someone to sell them stuff, I just need someone up late enough to keep an eye out; make sure the restless kids don't pillage the shop."

"Ah... I'll, uh, think about it?" Soos said nervously. Stan sighed deeply as he rubbed his eyes, and Soos panicked, "Aw, I'm sorry mister Pines! I'm just not sure right now."

"Well, you have until we open the rooms to make up your mind. I'd rather provide a raise than give some other rotten punk in town a job here," Stan told him, walking past him towards Wendy, "so don't shelf it forever! Wendy!" Stan said as he leaned against the counter, "how about you? Interested in being paid to stay up late?"

"Eh. I'll consider it," Wendy shrugged as she continued to read.

"What?! What world am I living in where young people aren't tempted by the chance of greed!?" Stan barked to the two of them, "speaking of which, is the newest national tabloid in?" Wendy reached by the pile of magazines she brought in that day, and tossed one to him, "ah good. Time to get some new ideas."

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper asked as he appeared with his sister in the gift shop. Soos had fiddled enough with the radio to have a solid established connection, and hummed gently to the music as the twins approached their reading grand uncle.

"Now let's see; teen who claims to speak to the dead from Massachusetts saves town from rampaging poltergeist. Teen's family claims he's bested zombies and cursed spirits prior to investigation. Hmm, maybe if I got some projectors, and some nice transparent paper, and thin wiring-"

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper restated loudly.

"Gah! What?" Stan yelped at, what seemed to him was, the sudden appearance of Dipper. "Didn't you go to the library?"

"Back already," Dipper answered, "got the materials I needed."

"About time someone could go into town from this building and not disappear for hours," Grunkle Stan mentioned aloud, also giving Mabel a look, who was just behind Dipper. She stuck her tongue out in reply.

"Grunkle Stan, I wanted to know," Dipper started his question, "did anything strange happen two Decembers ago?"

"Like, for a week maybe? An exact week?" Mabel added, her attempts at inconspicuous behavior ruined.

"Oddly specific," Stan cupped his chin in thought, "hmm. Nothing strange off the top of my head. Why?"

"There was a week within the reference journals and books I rented that all had the exact same week missing," Dipper explained, "sort of weird for a simple editing error or laziness."

"Huh. Consistent missing data sounds familiar," Stan agreed with a rough and thoughtful grunt, "maybe I can fish something up on the downstairs stuff."

"Awesome!" Dipper cheered, his eyes lightening up at the prospect of getting some real aid on this mystery, and not just a two-part cheap answer from his grand uncle. "Can you head down now?"

"What? You're kidding, right?" Stan barked at him, "look, I know you want some answers to this robot mystery thing, but I can't just head down there in the middle of the day. What if these construction workers wreck something and I'm not there to scam them to pay up quickly in cash?"

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel pouted, her arms crossed and trying to appear as a mix of sweet and disapproving.

"Or what if we get some lost tourists who need directions? I can't pass up an opportunity to grab some money off them, even if the shop is technically closed," Grunkle Stan added, as if this prospect truly frightened him.

"Hey, speaking of tourists," Wendy piped in, peering out the screen door, "are we expecting some suits from the construction company?"

"Huh? No?" Stan said, walking past Wendy towards the door. Sounds of a car coming up the long driveway struggled past the construction workers sounds, wrapping up their morning shift before they retreated for the lunch break. Finally over the hill and past the trees a van appeared, painted black and adorned with a rusted radio dish on its back. "Oh no. Oh no, don't be them again," Stan pushed his hands against the frame of the door, staring in fear outside.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked as the four approached, nervous to what the eldest of the room feared.

The van came to a stop, and the four watched as a collection of young men, easily in their mid twenties or early thirties stepped out, in a collection of both official suits and button up shirts and over-the-top leather duster jackets. Several had comic book t-shirts and all wore jeans. The driver stepped towards the shack, giving it a look over as he approached.

"I take it this is the Mystery Shack?" the man asked aloud as he stared to Grunkle Stan. After a pause, the old man cleared his throat, and with a quick push of the door, leaped out dramatically.

"Welcome to the Gravity Falls Mystery Shack!" Stanley Pines emulated the great mister mystery with his 'could sell you dirt' grin. "I hate to inform you, but the building is currently under renovation-"

"Yeah, we kinda got that," one of the men approached from behind the first, his blonde hair braided under a cap.

"Not a mystery there, is it?" the leader gave a cocky smirk and turned to his fellow buds, getting a few high fives. Stan kept his grin high, but a vein twitched.

"Ah, but of course! I'm sure what you've really come for is the world famous merchandise!" Stan lunged aside, directing his open hands towards the door, where the four peered out at the six men who stared back, each with their own variations of sunglasses.

"Close," The leader stepped closer, and finally removed his sunglasses, displaying dark blue eyes, "we've heard this is world famous for it's mysteries."

"Oh, uh, yeah," Stan stood upright, scratching the back of his neck, "we got those too."

"Good. We're the NPPP, or the North Pacific Paranormal People," the leader explained, indicating on his large leather duster a sewn on name tag, "I'm Geoffrey. This is Adam, Luke, Ben, and Marcus. It's our job, as of, uh, last week to discover and rate all things paranormal or unexplained in the northwestern pacific region on our highly regarded website for travelers."

"Whoa, whoa, you rate places?" Stan demanded, his cheerful demeanor long gone. as Mabel snickered behind him, reciting their name.

"Hehehe, P-P," Mabel struggled to stifle her voice.

"Sorry fellas, my establishment isn't interested in criticism or whatever you have to offer," Stan told them his arms crossing.

"Really?" Geoffrey asked, leaning in a bit more, "We scored an impressive six out of ten on the customer reliability online," Luke, the blond with braided hair said with an impressed nod.

"People respect our name and our word," the darker skinned man, Adam explained, raising his sunglasses to give the teens and older man a twinkling smile.

"Right, dressed like that I'm sure all the respectable types go running for advice," Wendy whispered to Dipper and Mabel.

"Right, and that means what to me?" Stan rolled his eyes as they expressed their impressive status.

"Anything that we say is paranormally charged," Geoffrey finalized, "true believers will flock to see for themselves."

"People... flock to? Wait... you'd rate my establishment?" Grunkle Stan asked, stepping slightly forward to the man before him.

"It's part of our job."

Grunkle Stan hopped slightly with a tiny jolt, as if an electric current ran through his spine. He stared at the men before him and then looked back to the teens. The eyes of Stanley Pines told the story of a man going through many thoughts at the same time; many of those thoughts waltzed with dollar signs. With a slow craning turn back to the group of young men, he cleared his throat.

"One moment please," Grunkle Stan gave them a small nod and then dashed back inside and pulled the four away from his gift-shop door, "okay, I want a solid, no bull opinion: the shack could survive these bozos giving it a rating, right?"

"What do you mean?" Soos asked in confusion, "they'll love it here! Everyone loves it here."

"I don't know," Dipper scratched as his sparse chin-hairs as he thought, "They look like they know what they're talking about. One of those guys looked like they were carrying an EMF-detector on their belt. They have some cool stuff."

"A what?" Grunkle Stan spat back.

"Electro-magnetic-field detector," Mabel beat her brother to the punch. Dipper stared at her, his mouth open, and she slowly grinned back to him, "I watched a lot of this show called 'Mission Fact'. They used stuff like that."

"You watched that too?" Dipper asked, a defining moment passing between the twins.

"Personally," Wendy chortled in, giving the men behind her a critical stare, "they look like a bunch of dorks in jackets they found in goodwill."

"Ah," Dipper almost choked, as his eyes had followed Wendy's, staring at the men, who peered at the meeting inside, "Yeah... they look so, uh, stupid. Yeah!" Dipper lied to himself, entirely wishing he looked slightly as cool as the guys out there did.

"I mean, it's not even a sunny day, and they're wearing sunglasses?" Wendy smirked as she teased out of eavesdropping distance.

"This could either put my shack- err, manor," Stan corrected himself, "on the map for every single naive tourist in the area to bleed their wallets into my buckets, or ruin it all and leave my business destroyed. Wait," he turned away from the group and approached the leader, "how much does this cost?"

"It's free of charge?" the young man answered. "Our website get's paid for content, so we don't charge for review."

"Hot damn!" Stan leapt into the air, clacking the heels of his shoes together, "please, allow me to prepare a tour for you fine guests! A few minutes please!" Stan said with his largest smile he could muster as he slammed the wooden door behind the screen one. "Okay! You two," Stan pointed to Dipper and Mabel instantly, "dust the museum. Make it look like I don't ignore it all my life when people aren't handing me cash. You two," he pointed to Wendy and Soos, "pull out the big guns. Anything that isn't falling apart in the storage is out in the open. Got it?"

"Grunkle Stan, are you sure it's a good idea to have these guys go through the museum? What if they actually know a thing or two about this paranormal mysterious creatures and anomalies stuff," Dipper asked with warning to his Grunkle, who approached a mirror and began to adjust his tie.

"If I wanted a reasonable and unwanted opinion I would have married. Now get to it!" Stan yelled loudly, having the four scatter quickly to the house, grabbing what cleaning supplies they could.

The mad rush began. Dipper and Mabel did their best to sweep away the dust that had accumulated in the long months of neglect, but the continued addition of older and even dustier collections made their chore an unending one. As soon as Dipper would sweep away one pile of dirt, Soos would wheel in another faux-tree monster, leaving a long trail of dust. The entire time Stan glared at them, ordering them to work faster and faster. The instant that he considered the path of the tour acceptable and full of things to ogle at, he lead the four downstairs, into the kitchen, and kicked them all out by the side door.

"Don't come in until you see the five leaving, or have already gone," Stan told them dangerously, daring them to disobey in this tense moment in his building's career.

"What are we supposed to do while you're in showing them your collection of stuffed animals?" Wendy shook her hat of collected cobwebs, and tossed her hair around her briefly, which Dipper did not miss the chance to stare at her in quiet awe.

"I don't know. Go play with the industrial equipment the workers left behind, you know, safe stuff," Grunkle Stan told them, and slammed the door in their faces. His muffled footsteps raced away as he charged to the other side of the building.

"I always did want to know how to operate one of those crane-thingies," Soos admitted, scratching his head through his cap.

"Aw, man, that'd be awesome! Maybe they left the keys in the exhaust!" Wendy excitedly told Soos as the two raced for the distant tractor.

"Maybe we could find a jackhammer and dig for treasure?" Dipper gave a suggestion for what to do without conviction.

"Hmm, I think I'll just do some more super-training," Mabel told him, stretching her neck slowly around. "Now that your arm is all better, you up for a little Mabel-tastic fitness?"

"Oh sure," Dipper rolled his eyes as he rolled his shoulders, "I'm up for it."

"Bet you can't do fifty laps around the house by the time the tour is done!" Mabel grinned as she started jogging.

"I bet you can't do fifty laps around the house while singing 'Chariots That Are On Fire' theme!" Dipper retorted with a wide smile. Mabel laughed as she took the lead, and took the bet instantly, loudly blurting out the notes to the epic and inspirational piece as best she could.

Within a few minutes, neither twin could accomplish the required task. Dipper was out of breath keeping up with Mabel, and Mabel had entirely forgotten the difference between singing and talking while running. The two panted to a slumbering stop back by the side door only twenty laps in. Dipper was impressed that he had managed to keep up with her, but more impressed that she had been able to continue singing even after the theme had ended, and added her own unique vocalizations.

Mabel was determined though- even out of breath, she exercised. Dipper at first was reluctant, his fatigue begging him for a moments rest. Then he realized Wendy had looked his way. Within a single split moment he went from lying on his back and panting to upright and following Mabel's actions as best he could. She was faster, but Dipper learned quick enough.

It wasn't until she was airborne in acrobatic dodges and attacks that Dipper called it quits, and just watched. Even Wendy and Soos approached the scene as Mabel effortlessly landed three flips in the air, one directly after another.

"Mabel!" Wendy gasped after another row of mid-air, upside down kicks, "what the heck dude!"

"What?" Mabel asked, catching herself upside down as she looked at the three of them.

"She's been learning from some sort of master of this stuff," Dipper told them as Mabel caught her breath for a quick moment, "so she's got some crazy moves."

"No kidding! Man, I thought what I saw from 'Tigerfist Two: Stripes and Palms' had some crazy stuff," Soos said with amazement, "but Mabel's really got it down."

"Aw stop it guys," Mabel said as she landed once more, fully upright and smiling with a slightly flushed face, "I'm just a beginner!"

"Yeah right!" Dipper barked.

"I wish I could show you guys my master," Mabel said wondrously, turning half way from them as she stared away, "she's like... awesome."

"Who?" Soos asked.

"In the martial art 'The Paths'," Dipper quickly said, "you're not allowed to use your teacher's name. Something about keeping their identity a secret."

"Why's that?" Wendy asked.

"My master explained it like this," Mabel looked to them, "the path's isn't about being the best at the entire range of skills. It's about learning to take what you do best and make it even better. A lot of people don't like that sort of thinking apparently," Mabel shrugged at the statement, "I don't know why they don't like it, but whatever. It also makes my teacher sound really cool and mysterious."

"Speaking of mysteries," Dipper interjected, "we were supposed to ask Grunkle Stan for that information, weren't we?"

"He should be done soon," Soos stated easily, "Why, I bet they'll come out of that door looking like they've had just the time of their lives."

The doors did slam open, and out marched the five men, scowling and shaking their heads. Stan ran ahead of them, his arms outstretched to prevent their departure.

"Look, it's off season right now! I needed replacements for the real deals!" Stan reasoned with those before him.

"Nothing in the entire building indicated that there was anything of worth to our time. If it doesn't raise a question, it doesn't get a good score," Geoffrey told Stan with a tone of true disappointment, "Mister Pines, you're just running a side-show of well made taxidermy altered to look... freaky."

"Whoa, that's a first," Dipper admitted. No one had, to Dipper's recollection, ever called out his well-spoken grand uncle on the phoniness of his Mystery Shack. There was a rushing past him. Mabel was marching post-haste towards the group near the van.

"Look fellas, I admit it doesn't look great, but this area is full of weird stuff! I'm tellin' ya!" Stan tried further, a tone of desperation in his voice.

"We're not interested. Your building was a waste of our time, and we'll make sure no one else wastes their time coming here. One of ten, easily," Luke told Stan as he adjusted his sunglasses.

"Hey!" Mabel suddenly called, catching their attention, "he's not lying! There is weird stuff around here!"

"Look, maybe you've been raised around here," the man named Marcus said to Mabel, "but those... uh, things in there? I mean, Unicorn-on-the-cob? Man, Unicorns don't even exist."

"I wasn't raised around here, and yes they do!" Mabel stated, walking closer to them, staring at them defiantly despite their impressive height. "Unicorns do exist!"

"Uh-huh. You're living in a fantasy world, kid," Marcus laughed to his friends.

"Except she's not," Dipper added as Mabel clenched her fists while glaring at the man before her, "Unicorns are real. They act like total jerks though. We've seen them in these woods," Dipper pointed around them, "and a whole mess of other weird stuff!"

Maybe it was the concept of a male teenager stating that Unicorns were real, as opposed to the girl, that silenced the men. Luke lowered his sunglasses, checking in with Dipper and Mabel. When their gazes neither flinched nor shook, he looked to Soos and Wendy.

"How about you two?" he asked to them.

"Oh dude," Soos shook his head as he gave a warning look to the men, "you wouldn't even believe what happened yesterday. Or the day before that. Or they day before that. Or the day-"

"And you?" Luke turned to Wendy, "you live around here?" Wendy blankly stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Seen anything odd?"

"You could say that," Wendy replied quietly.

"Look, I'll be honest," Stan suddenly added, removing his Fez from the top of his head, "you caught me at a bad time. I'm in my off-season, you know? People don't really go driving around the countryside when they have their kids in school and they're working full time still. Why don't you five guys head down in town- there's a great diner you can head to! When you come back," Stan stepped up, his hand open to the sky just before them, "I'll show you something really-" Stan flicked his hand slightly, producing an ace of spaces from seemingly no where, "worth your time."

The five exchanged looks. Between the conviction of the four younger occupants of the building and the owner's insistence that there was something to his establishment, they seemed less certain to grade this location a failure and true tourist trap. Luke and Geoffrey turned to Ben, the only man who hadn't spoken up so far.

"There were a few anomalous readings on our way here," Ben shrugged, pushing the bridge of his sunglasses up against his nose, "maybe we can give them an hour to figure themselves out?"

"EMF detectors can act stupid," Geoffrey told Ben, who nodded quickly, "but... we did drive all the way out here... ugh, okay. Sir," Geoffrey rounded on Stan, "we'll head to this Diner. When we get back, we want a real paranormal experience. No more cheap tricks, no more," he pilled the card out of Stan's hand and flicked it back into his face, "slight of hands. Let's go guys."

As they turned, Wendy stuck her leg out. Ben tripped over it quickly, and Marcus and Geoffrey tripped over him. Wendy remained undetected as she slipped her foot back to a perfectly normal place, and leant closer to them, cooing to them as they struggled to rise back up.

"Careful there you guys. Long jackets like that totally can mess people up, you know," she told them with a glint in her eyes. Mabel snickered and high-fived Wendy quietly.

"Ow. Right," Geoffrey groaned as he and the others climbed back into their van, the three dusting themselves off while wincing. The Gravel had not been kind to their inexperienced fall. "Remember," Geoffrey poked his head out of the van and above the windshield to speak to Stan, "one hour. Then we pass our final judgment."

"Of course!" Stan assured them, waving wide his hand above him. The van's wheels rolled it away, disappearing down the road until it vanished, where then Stan clapped a hand to his head. "Damn college students!"

"That's who they were?" Dipper asked, turning to Stan.

"No. Grad-school students, which is even worse!" Grunkle Stan groaned, "I've never had to deal with a group like that before! They really did their research! Had a thousand and one questions for every single thing! Gah! Okay, okay, so... so... the Mystery Manor is standing on the brink of total failure now," Grunkle Stan told them worriedly.

"Oh come on, Stan," Wendy groaned, "you can't really think these guys are actually trusted by anyone?"

"Well, I follow people online who dress and act crazier than those five," Mabel admitted, "but at least 'Crazy-Eating-Hour' admit to being nutso."

"Okay, you two," Stan looked to the twins, "I can't believe I'm actually hopeful for telling you this, but I need you two to find something crazy out there and bring it back to the shack."

"Wait, you actually want us to do this?" Dipper inquired, his mouth falling open in shock.

"It's like we're being hired to do what we do anyway!" Mabel told Dipper, pulling on his vest as she jumped excitedly in place.

"Yeah, you know, just do your thing! Get something back here that gives them a chance to _not_ sink my life's investment!" Stan asked them strongly.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel saluted and then grasped her brother and held him close, "with our luck to run into life-threatening situations, we'll come back with something definitely weird!"

"Something dangerous, if you can manage," Stan told them, adjusting his hat, "maybe a manticore, if they're out there still. Just don't get yourselves killed, you got it?"

"We got it," Dipper nodded. He gave the journal in his vest a solid pat, looked to his sister, and the to of them hurried off into the woods together.

"So, bro-dee-bro," Mabel started conversation a minute after entering the woods, much safer than the last time they had go running off looking for a Doppelganger, as she lightly boxed his shoulder with her fists, "what's the plan?"

"Well," Dipper pulled out the journal and started skimming through, "the thing is we kind of have a whole mess of weird stuff that we can bring back with us. You know, Gnomes are dangerous," Dipper suggested.

"Ugh. The last thing I want is a favor with Jeff," Mabel stuck out her tongue, "besides, they look too much like us. Those PP people could just claim their just short people. Oh!" she pointed to a picture of a large long tail-feathered bird, flames bursting from its eyes, "maybe that!"

"A phoenix? According to the journal, they're dangerous and almost impossible to find. Constantly burning to anyone the bird doesn't trust," Dipper paraphrased, "or... maybe not. Same deal- a sleeping dragon would probably just burn everything down."

"How about that one?" Mabel pointed again, passing a page full of crystals. "Those little crystals were harmless, weren't they?"

"Hmm... they can't exactly be dangerous, and the light refractions they cause induce cellular growth on a healthy level without killing anyone," Dipper thought aloud, his sister opening her mouth in a groan, "what? What did I say that was too much nerd?"

"Everything?" she told him with a poke.

"Ow. Well, I'd have to find the crystal grove again anyway. I think that's the other direction too, so maybe we should rule that out for now," Dipper said as he turned the page. Then there was a loud yelp, in the bushes ahead. Dipper and Mabel stalled their movement, both watching ahead of them, ready to run or fight at a moments notice. Then a well-dressed, two foot tall figure stepped out, walking to them with open arms and a wide smile under his long nose.

"Ah! Dipper Pines!" the Goblin sentinel approached them, extending his arm towards Dipper.

"Sibs!" Dipper called back, eagerly shaking his hand.

"And the sister to Dipper, Mabel Pines!" Sibs smiled to Mabel, holding his hand to Mabel, "the great defeater of the woodland shapeshifter."

"I have a title like that?" Mabel gasped as she took his hand and vigorously shook it, "wow! Hardcore."

"Indeed. You both are heroes to the goblin community. We've had our first taste of old, fear free life since before the release of the shapeshifter two years ago," Sibs told them with a warm smile, "well, at least until the peace between us and the Gnomes wear off."

"Forest battles?" Mabel asked with excitement, "totally let us know when that's going down. The Gnomes are huge jerks."

"Mabel," Dipper scolded her, "don't encourage political upheaval and war please."

"Sorry," Mabel smacked the side of her head, "what was I thinking? But seriously," Mabel leaned closer to Sibs, "let us know." Sibs chuckled as he looked between the two teens.

"Well, what brings you to these woods?" Sibs asked the two of them, looking between them with a happy expectancy. "Anything I can help you with?"

"Actually," Mabel said slowly at first, "maybe there is. Dipper and I are looking around for something, or someone really cool to bring back to the Mystery Manor to show these official paranormal investigators that these lands are totally legit with monst- er, people like you!" she quickly corrected herself, as Dipper had cleared his throat at her almost usage of the word 'monster'.

"I say. How interesting that someone would need to investigate these woods at all. They merely need to ask for our maps and we can provide it to them, as long as they stay clear of our farms," Sibs added with warning.

"They're not that kind of investigators. They... Sibs," Dipper thought for a moment and tried again, "we need your help. These people don't believe that people like you exist. It's for the benefit of the the-"

"Ah, I'm afraid," Sibs bowed his head slightly, a disappointed look in his eyes, "I have to reject your idea."

"What? How come?" Mabel demanded.

"As is stated by Goblin law, we are not permitted to interact with outsiders without direct cause to. Allowing you to introduce me to these 'investigators' would violate that law," Sibs told them.

"But you met me," Dipper argued.

"Only under the pretense that you were the shapeshifter. Had we not been under alert that he was in our area, I would have disregarded you as a passer by," Sibs explained, truly sounding upset he could not help them. "I'm sorry, but I cannot leave my post for this."

"Aw, duck-sauce!" Mabel exclaimed angrily.

"But... perhaps I can direct you to where you can find something of worth," Sibs said cleverly, a small smile finally returning to his face.

"Wait, really?" Dipper asked excitedly.

"I can at least offer some help to the friends of Goblitropolis," Sips said as he turned in one direction, leading them towards a collection of tall mountains in the distance, "follow me friends. It's a short journey to the grove of earth."

"The grove of what?" Dipper and Mabel both repeated.

"For as long as Goblins have roamed these woods, which is... oh, I don't know, a while I suppose," Sibs guessed earnestly, "we have remained aware of a strange, ancient region in the forest that is to be respected and treated with care. Over time we have called it the grove of earth."

"Why is it the grove of earth?" Dipper asked as he passed under a large branch, pushing himself under and past it.

"We find many precious stones in the clearing of the grove, "Sibs admitted, "some of the stones we used to seal the Shapeshifter in it's final form were from the grove of the earth. Many magical forces do drift through these woods, and the grove collects much of it."

"Wow. So we're going to something really ancient and cool?" Mabel asked as pulled herself up onto a branch above them and started hopping from tree to tree.

"I suppose so, "Sibs nodded in agreement. Mabel poked her brother directly on the head as she passed above him, swinging from branch to branch with many of the low-hanging vines on these trees. Mabel had to drop down finally, realizing that the thickest part of the forest was up ahead, and stayed behind Dipper as they followed Sibs through the trees. Branches and leaves grew at ground level know, and the twins struggled to keep up with Sibs, still under all the vegetation. "There, pass those leafs," Sibs pointed to a wall of plant ahead, life bleeding through the thick brush.

"Awesome," Dipper nodded, saluting the sentinel, "we owe you."

"Do not worry about debts," Sibs shook his head as he walked past the twins, heading back, "however, don't tarry here. This place is both wondrous, and dangerous. Nature has a hold over this land."

A hold was a clear understatement. It was as if the forest had somehow melded into a jungle and meadow at the same time. Thick, low hanging vegetation clustered tightly by the floor, where small flickers of light and twinkles of stone glinted to the twins. Acting as a veil between this large clearing of trees was the vine-like, leafy they had just passed through. As their eyes scanned ahead, the land curved downwards, a gentle slope towards the center. There were large boulders near the center, some covered in vines and others in moss, making a larger inner circle.

"A hold huh?" Mabel said, spinning around to give the surrounding forest clearing, "maybe she'd shake our hand."

"Take what you can, and leave in a hurry," Sibs said as he slid back through the wall, "I bid you both good day."

"Thanks sibs!" The twins said as they watched the explorer slide away quietly.

"Alright, something cool," Mabel glanced around quickly, her eyes darting between the flickering light below her, casting glinting rainbows in her face, "oh! Look at this one!" She reached down and quickly lifted a gemstone, surprisingly shiny despite not being polished. "Or this one!" Mabel tossed the first one and found another. "OH! This one for sure!" she dived to another one after dropping the second.

Dipper laughed as Mabel dug around like an excited puppy, digging through the ground after the glinting stones. Dipper wasn't sure that any one of these stones could really count as particularly effective. He didn't doubt Sibs' authenticity- they probably did have some sort of magical properties, hence why they shined without polishing. But bringing a few gems without an immediate reaction or effect would just seal the Mystery Manor's fate. They needed something with more 'umph'.

"Oh," Mabel had almost run straight into a boulder, "excuse me, mister rock," Mabel patted the boulder, and climbed it easily, digging her fingers where there was sufficient grip and lifting herself up. "Oh, Dipper! Get up here! This place looks so cool from up here!"

"One sec," Dipper strained, still unable to perform the same physical feats his sister could perform. After two unsuccessful tries, she reached down, and assisted him up, holding his arm tightly as he climbed up. "Wow, you aren't kidding," Dipper admitted when he turned and stared out.

From their height, they could easily spot the many, possibly hundreds, of crystals and gems laid into the ground. They glistened and shone perfectly, as if a wave of energy passed through the area, creating a cascade of light that shone counter-clockwise, rippling around the inner circle of this nature's sanctuary. As Dipper and Mabel followed the path of the wave of light, they eventually faced the inside center of the area, and both gasped.

"That," they looked to each other before looking back to the center of the area, inside the circle of boulders. A smooth stone laid in the exposed dirt, as the plants did not grow past the boulders. It was pitch black, almost like it could not reflect color of any type. Yet as they watched it, it produced a shine of a rainbow- a sparkling ethereal flash of light that caused them to gasp. Neither of them had ever seen anything like it before.

"What is that?" Mabel whispered as she stared.

"That's our ticket to saving the Mystery Manor," Dipper told her and they again looked to one another, grinning. They didn't have much to work with, but something that emanated light like that while being pitch black certainly was worth investigation.

Dipper and Mabel slid down the boulder's side and towards the stone. Approaching it, they continued to exchange glances, as if to reconcile any worries or doubts they had, or just to share their excitement. This was it had been like three years ago, way back when two twelve year olds ran around the woods looking for werewolves and other monsters. Something like this could be more than just a way to save the Mystery Manor- it could be their next big mystery.

"Here goes nothing," Dipper said, and re reached forward with both hands, and touched the rock. They gasped; as his fingertips slid against the almost glass-like texture, light poured out from under his hands. "Holy crud, that's... really pretty," Dipper gasped as he stared at his hands, an aurora pouring out from under his hands.

"Wait, does that mean-" Mabel decided to test her theory first, ask questions later. She prodded her finger out and tapped the side. The light poured and then was whisked away as her touch fell away. "Omigoshthatssocool!" she spun around and hopped at the same time, whirling around like a tornado.

"Let's see if it's heavy," Dipper tried feeling the fingers around the imperfect contours of the smooth stone, and found its base. With a small grunt, he tried lifting upwards. The stone followed within his hands. The ground was flooded with the same kind of aurora of rainbows, as light poured out from his fingers. "We need to show this to them and then figure out what this is about."

The two sprinted out of the gully as fast as their legs could permit, and as fast as Dipper could go considering Mabel's impressive training. The young teen couldn't resist grabbing each branch and tossing herself forward slightly, climbing trees and dancing above Dipper as he ran ahead, swinging off vines- there was something about this discovery that put them in a wonderful mood.

The way it shone as they ran through the woods made everything in the world easier to handle, as if the issues and clear problems of life slowly evaporated before them. Maybe the rock induced a kind of euphoric effect. They were elated, the twins; laughing to one another as if they had just uncovered the greatest secret to life that there had ever been.

The Mystery Manor finally appeared in the distance, and the two broke for it. Not a muscle in their bodies complained as they rushed ahead, Dipper cradling the magnificent stone in his hands. Stan was leaning against the side of the wall, tapping his foot nervously as he watched the road.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel screamed as they charged over. The man spun to face them, and gasped.

"Whoa! Call me a beggar and throw me some change, that's one heck of a... what the heck is it?" Stan gasped as the object in Dipper's arms finally came into distance.

"A stone!" Mabel declared, "and just watch- GUYS!" Mabel screamed again to the shack, "SOOS! WENDY!" Barely a moment passed before the sounds of running steps echoed against the wooden floors. Soos appeared first, and Mabel couldn't wait. "Soos! Check it out!" Mabel stroked the side of the stone with her fingers, and the trail of light followed beautifully. Soos' eyes widened and his mouth fell open as he approached hypnotically.

"Oh wow. Do that again hambone," Soos asked, and Mabel did so, both Soos and Stan watched the stone as it shimmered. "That's some freaking cool looking thing. What does it do?"

"We don't know," Dipper admitted, yet sounded entirely excited with this prospect. Finally Wendy stepped out, looking around quickly, her eyes darting to Dipper and Mabel. "Wendy! Look! Mabel, do it again!" Mabel complied, and Dipper laughed and turned his eyes to Wendy.

His own smile faded when he looked to her. Wendy's expression was polar opposite to what he had expected. He face was stunned, almost shocked as she looked to the stone. Those strong green eyes gazed into the unrecorded object, locked onto the shimmering trail of light before it faded, but continued to stare afterwards. It was like she saw something else inside the rock Dipper held, and he felt that same magical warmth fade from him as he recognized the look in Wendy's eyes- worry.

"Wendy?" he asked loudly. She gasped and looked back to him.

"Huh? Yeah!" she nodded, "that's really something you two found. It kind of seems dangerous though, doesn't it?"

"What?" Stan laughed loudly as he turned to the red-head, "don't be ridiculous! It's a freaking touch-activated rock-bulb. How cool is that!?"

"I don't know," Wendy still stood her ground, taking a cautious step closer to the object, "where did you guys find it?"

"In a forest clearing," Mabel declared, the gleam in her eyes matching in intensity to the strength of her excited smile, "in a circle surrounded by pretty rocks and boulders. Some awesome stuff, but this was the king of cool!"

"I bet," Wendy nodded halfheartedly in reply, stepping closer to the stone. Dipper watched her. She reached out with her hand to touch it as the others had, but then she recoiled, holding her hand away from it. "Maybe we should put it back, you know dude?"

"Ha! Yeah right! As soon as those bozos are done apologizing to me," Stan told her as he wrapped an arm around Dipper, "and me and Dipper here go have a guys night out for saving the Mystery Manor, that's going on a pedestal for all the world to see and poke at- for twenty bucks each!"

"C'mon Wendy," Soos patted his co-workers back, "when did a glowing dark rock thingy ever cause harm?"

Wendy frowned and looked to Dipper. It had been a long time since Dipper had the chance to connect with another soul with the simple look between the eyes, aside from him and Mabel doing it consistently. It had happened once with Wendy before, in the cave of the Shapeshifter, and it happened here now. Dipper felt Wendy's convictions; she truly felt the object was somehow putting them at harm.

"Maybe, uh," Dipper suddenly piped up, no longer confident about his choice of souvenir from the forest, "we can put it back and then lead them to the spot? We can say we just found and that it'll be an attraction to tourists soon enough?"

"Look Dipper, I know Wendy's all freaking out," Stan gave him a weary look, "but this rock thingy? C'mon, look at it! You just feel all... young and happy when you look at it. Eugh. Remind me to only have you bunch mess around with it for now on," Stan told them as he turned away from it. "Now, go put it inside on a shelf or something for now. Actually heck, just go knock off the Jackalope stuff and put it on that pedestal."

Dipper gave Wendy one more look. She said nothing, but her gaze plead for action. Nothing short of taking it back into the forest would appease her. Then again, this would only be for a short while. The North Pacific Paranormal People would be returning from their gambit at Greasy's Diner, and would be directed quickly to the stone. Maybe all they had to do is keep the stone for an hour, maybe even only thirty minutes.

"Let's go put it inside, for now," Dipper said to them all, but keeping his stare with Wendy. She blinked and shook her head. The pressure to please that Dipper was riding on tightened and latched against his heart. Had he let her down?

"Well, c'mon bro!" Mabel tugged and pulled Dipper inside, leading him inside, past the others, "let's do the honors of welcoming the newest member of the Mystery Twins discovered oddities!"

"Mabel," Dipper said as he and his sister walked inside, past the Gift shop and towards the museum they had worked on earlier, "I'm thinking Wendy is on to something."

"Pfff, she's just being cautious," Mabel waved a hand easily, "you know, since every other time we come out of the woods something was chasing slash stalking us."

"She seemed worried about it," Dipper added, pouring some of his own guilt from not listening to her into that statement. Mabel's ears detected it, and turned to him. He spotted her gaze, and not wanting to let on his feelings, added, "I mean, if you were that freaked out, or I was, wouldn't you be a little, you know, nervous?"

"Hmm... you raise a good point," Mabel nodded in thought as they continued to walk towards the Jackalope stand, "and she's pretty good with that whole 'detecting' weird stuff thing. Like how she knew the shapeshifter wasn't you? Wonder how she does it..."

"I don't know, and really I don't care. If it helps with us, we can ask questions later," Dipper told her strongly. Mabel gasped, placing her hands at her cheeks as she stared at him. "What?" Dipper asked her.

"Dipper Pines: mystery and puzzle addict, willing to put aside a chance to understand something just because it's someone we trust? Wow!" Mabel poked his nose, "dork."

"Ack," Dipper waved his face away from her prod, "I just trust Wendy. It's not like I stay up late thinking about Wendy's mysteries," Dipper lied.

"Uh huh," Mabel gave her brother a critical stare, analyzing his well constructed poker face. If she had sought a weakness in his facial defense, she wound up disappointed. Mabel took her frustrated look and directed the energy towards the pedestal. "Well, put it down," she told Dipper as he gave the stone on more look. He went to wipe off any remaining dirt from the bottom, and yet found nothing. With gentle ease, he placed the mystical stone on the pedestal.

"Well, let's hope nothing comes of this, aside from keeping the Mystery Manor in business," Dipper told his sister as he stared that the barely shimmering black stone.

"Pfft. What could possibly go wrong?" Mabel gave his brother an elbow.

A moment passed where they stood across one another, staring to one another, awaiting fate's inevitable ironic twist to Mabel's words. Yet nothing came. No explosion, no cry for help, not even a tremor of the ground. No sigh of Murphy's law appearing in their day. Dipper actually nodded, satisfied with the result.

"That's a nice change," he admitted.

"Yeah, I was kind of expecting a scary voice from the stone after I said that, or maybe a boom from the-" there was a rumble from the ground, and the two groaned, "Oh, come on! Really? Can we, just for once, not have-" more shaking booms were following the original.

"That can't be good!" Dipper shouted as they both turned away and ran towards the door. Bursting out of the gift shop door, the twins found the three outside staring at the distant canopy of the woods. The booms were even louder, and birds were darting out of trees. Then trees were collapsing in the wake of these booms. More and more earth trembling shakes heralded the astounding arrival of the coming danger.

Huge figures, shaped like humans more or less, comprised of stone, moss, tree, vine, and plant stepped out of the woods, easily as tall as the Mystery Manor. Their features were varied, as one approaching creature was comprised entirely of a massive tree, using a split trunk as feet and legs, and two very thick and long branches as arms. Another was a boulder covered in moss, held together by some unseen force of magic, as smaller rocks acted as stubby arms and legs with hands and feet of fist sized rocks. Four of these beings strode out of the woods, the moss-covered boulder being the lead. It came to a stop just before the Mystery Manor, and turned to the others.

Lowering itself to speak to the four watching it in fear, it rumbled in a slow, dangerous growl, "I seek the thief."

Dipper gulped, and then Wendy prodded his shoulder with her elbow. "Told you guys."

* * *

The North Pacific Paranormal People, the greatest competition Ghost Chasers have had in their long running show. No, sorry, there won't be any direct crossovers with Supernatural, so don't cross your fingers... yet. ;)

Classic rock! Wow. Bet you were expecting something a bit more musically inclined. Well, there was Duskhope in there. And that rock thing seemed classy. So HA! But on a 'Author has stuff planned wink wink nudge nudge', you should start remembering the little things in this chapter and those to come.

Brownie or cookie points go to whoever gets what I'm almost directly referencing in the national tabloid Stan read.

Well, hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I'll see you guys-

(A large boulder comes crashing through the ceiling, crushing EZB and his entire room in it's weight. Riding the boulder is Metallica, performing a sick performance for the viewers because 'Hey? Why not?')


	13. Classic Rock: Part 2

The five stared up at the colossal creatures that had stomped out of the forest moments ago. This mixed reactions between them was astounding. Mabel's eyes shone with excitement and wonder and Dipper mimed that with muted expression; Soos's mouth had fallen open and he looked at the monsters in shock. Wendy and Stan shared a mutual look of fear and wonderment.

"Show us the thief," the large moss-covered entity repeated.

Four hands pushed Dipper forward, who slid against the ground. He hadn't even noticed the change in distance between himself and the large creatures until the speaker seemed to focus on him. The face on the 'head' boulder had eyes that were etched into the side, slowly turning to stare at Dipper.

"Thanks guys," Dipper groaned under his breath to those behind him. A monstrous stomp told the approach of the speaking monster, and it leaned down to face Dipper, looking at him face to face.

"Are you the thief of the grove?" the mossy boulder rumbled, its rocky mouth twisted and operating as a normal mouth, but still entirely solid stone. "The one who took the Starkissed of Conservation?"

"The what of the what?" Dipper asked, trying his best not to appear intimidated by the huge monster before him. "Starkissed?"

"The stone, child," the one far behind the boulder, made of trees twisted around one another and growing together spoke in a kinder, forgiving tone, "made of light and darkness."

"Quiet," the mossy boulder spoke behind him, his rocky head twisted perfectly in a circle to speak to the tree, "they should know what they stole."

"Humans are fallible- they may not have intended to steal the rock," the tree defended itself, bitter at being spoken down to by its rocky comrade, "a reminder isn't out of the question."

"I am trying to interrogate here!" the boulder turned entirely, walking to his enchanted companions.

As the two monsters spoke, Dipper turned back half way, looking to those behind him. The newly acquired status as emissary between these two parties was a frightening position to juggle along with his own guilt. He did feel responsible for not taking Wendy's words of warning more seriously.

"Advice?" he whispered to the four behind him.

"Ask them what their sign is," Mabel suggested eagerly, "that's a quick ice-breaker and it's a good way to ensure no hard feelings come about this!"

"This isn't a date Mabel," Dipper told her coldly.

"Maybe if you introduce yourself as a proud leader of humanity, and warn them of the repercussions of instigating an invasion, that human kind will react viciously and not stop until vengeance is settled," Soos tried. The four looked at him, and he laughed, clonking himself aside the head, "oh, what am I thinking? That's just the plot for "Evotar: The Last Spacebender. Then again, all that changed when the solar nation attacked."

"I can try shooting at them if you distract them?" Grunkle Stan tried, "bring out some of the heavier caliber babies."

"Why don't we pretend to acknowledge the fact these guys are made of trees, stone, and dirt," Dipper reminded them, "guns can't do anything, and we can't hope to threaten them! Look at them!" Dipper pointed to the mossy boulder, "his finger is the size of your head Soos!"

"That's a pretty big finger," Soos nodded with recognition.

"Maybe we need to give the rock back," Dipper tried carefully. Not to his surprise, Stan was quick to object.

"Yeah right! If these bozos blow up my shack, at least I'll have had something to show those researcher grubs. But if we give the stone back, we have nothing for the shack, and it might as well have been crushed anyway!" Stan told him with conviction.

"Maybe you can try offering them something?" Wendy piped in, having stared at the beings of natural construction.

"Offer them... something?" Dipper repeated.

"Wait, yeah," Stan stepped up to Dipper, a hand on his shoulder, "all you got to do is find out what they want. Maybe they need something that isn't that crazy rock thing inside?"

"This sounds like something your better at," Dipper noted.

"Maybe, but I don't think these guys can buy into my shmact. If they want the real deal, it needs to come from someone who knows how to actually try to relate to the customer," Stan told Dipper, "trust me, I lost that talent a while ago."

Dipper sighed. This would be one of those memories he had spoken about at Grunkle Stans not-actual funeral: one he wasn't certain he was going to walk away from intact. These monsters looked like they could push a finger against your head and just shove you into the dirt like a golf tee. Yet he strode forward, approaching the arguing beasts.

"If we needed a break-" one of them interjected their companions.

"Hey," Dipper cleared his throat and asked loudly. The four stop and turned to face Dipper, who stared up at them, craning his head as beads of sweat formed under his cap. "Uh, hi. You guys said you needed a break? Are you tired?"

"We haven't had to walk for over six hundred years," the tree moaned, shacking his leg in the air.

"We have a mission-" the mossy boulder angrily cut off his friends chances to add more complaints.

"Well, maybe what you need is a massage?" Dipper guessed, stepping closer, trying to act as casual as he could.

"A... massage?" one of the four, who appeared to be a vine construct of many small rocks and broken pieces of trees, the thing lines of plant woven tightly together.

"What is this object you speak of?" The tree asked, leaning closer to Dipper, who had a chance to see the haunting face of a tree that molded itself to have human like appearance, but with no eyes, nose or significant mouth structure.

"It's not an object. A massage is when you give someone a backrub, or you stretch their skin- err, I guess bark? Limbs? So that they can feel better," Dipper struggled to explain.

"Stretched?!" the vine creature exclaimed, slightly scared of the insinuations, and the vines that made up its body seemed to coil around the stones and wood slightly tighter.

"Not to the point where you fall apart!" Dipper assured him, "just enough to feel nice! Uh, here," he wove the tree to bring its hand over. "I think this would work on you?" Dipper mumbled under his breath, still not convinced that a massage could hope to work on creatures made of mostly inanimate material. "I just push into the bark and- ow! You got some rough area there," Dipper commented as his skin scrapped against the side, but the tree creature gasped in awe.

"That was extraordinary!" the tree turned to his comrades, "I feel slightly more alert!"

"Did he cast a spell upon you?" The mossy rock demanded, fearfully staring at his tree ally.

"No, he gave me... a _massage_," the tree being said blissfully.

"It sounds like you all have never gotten one before," Dipper grinned at his accomplishment, trying to ignore the rough skin on his hands, "tell you what, we'll give you a sample massage for no charge. Just give us... uh, and hour? Yeah, an hour to prepare for the necessary-"

"Perhaps we will take you on your offer, kind child," the wooden construct happily bent down to speak to Dipper, but a rock hand suddenly pushed aside the tree with a shove.

"As soon as you have handed over our stone, that is," the mossy boulder demanded, stern as ever.

"Maybe you want a polish?" Dipper suggested to angered boulder, "or, uh, that moss may be itchy. We can scrub it off!"

"This moss," the boulder took a booming step closer to Dipper, who stumbled back, "is my proud acknowledgement of my ever vigilant stand to protect the most important spot in our world. To scrub this away would be a insult to my honor!" the rock roared at Dipper. The poor teen fell back from the sheer volume of the anger, staring helplessly at the giant creature. "You know nothing of our task, human boy."

Dipper started to stand, but a well dressed man strode in front of him quickly. Helping Dipper stand was his sister, and two more pairs of footsteps came up behind him.

"Okay, okay, tough guy, look here," Grunkle Stan spoke back to the giant boulder, "I don't know what stuck up, rotten little job you and your earth worm collecting friends are all into, but around here, when someone offers your something for free, you take it! That was a freebee and you threw it aside. Bad form!"

"We are not earth-worm-collectors," the fourth, mostly unspoken creature suddenly added, a quieter voice than the others had. It was, ironically made of what seemed to be mud and clay, and could easily be carrying a few worms inside his magical body.

"We are golems," the tree creature told Stan pleasantly, "Golems of the great earth spirits."

"Earth spirits?" Mabel gasped.

"Our task," the mossy golem reiterated, "has been to guard the Starkissed stone until the great council should ever return," it told them proudly, "our great task will go beyond your years and your children's years."

"Well, 'guardians'," Stan quoted the word with his fingers sarcastically, "you clearly did such a good job preventing two teenagers from stealing the most precious stone in the world, didn't you?"

"You trying being enchanted to life after six hundred years of rest!" The vine golem argued. "It's no easy task! Even for us golems!"

"Do not stand between our task and our masters goals," the mossy golem warned dangerously.

"Fine, fine," Stan relented, waving two hands into the air, "okay, you want it back, I'll give it back."

"Excellent," the mossy golem sighed, his boulder shoulders dropping in supposed relief, "I can't wait to go back to sleep."

"But just let us borrow it for an hour," Stan quickly added, pleading for its stay, "my building here will be a perfectly safe place for it to stay for a tad bit longer. Come on pals, what do you say?"

"Absolutely not!" the mossy golem shouted.

"As our mission states," the wooden golem added, "we cannot permit the Starkissed from leaving the grove, as it is our strongest location."

"Hand it back, or suffer our wrath!" The mossy golem bellowed. He then heaved, and the others stepped up, holding him back.

"Moss, you need to relax," the clay golem said to his ally.

"Yeah, you're making us look like an angered gorgon," the tree golem piped in.

"Sorry! I'm just tired still. Rocks don't like being woken up without a good cause." The four golems began to converse quietly to one another, trying to soothe their agitated leader and friend.

"Dipper," Mabel piped up quietly, pulling her brother away from the four discussion golems, "Maybe I can do something about this."

"What do you mean?" he asked quickly.

"The Paths," Mabel told him quickly, her eyes widening in excitement.

"What? You're going to fight them?!" Dipper demanded as quietly as he could, not loving the idea one bit, "Mabel, they're made of stone and stuff!"

"I've broken boards before," Mabel told him, but continued, "and I don't want to fight them. I think I can communicate with the spirits."

"Their earth spirits or whatever?" Dipper asked, as the other three noticed their chat, "what good will that do?"

"Maybe if I can explain our situation and that we don't want to take it away from them to their boss spirit," Mabel said as Wendy, Soos, and Stan tuned in, "then they'll leave us alone and we can return the glowy rock of coolness later!"

"That sounds awfully convenient," Soos told Mabel.

"So what, you'll just pop by a home of the spirit and tell them to have these guys chill out?" Stan asked his grand-niece, "that does sound too convenient."

"Can you do it?" Dipper asked his sister directly, looking deep into her eyes for the answer before she could hope to say it. He saw it just as he had expected to.

"Duh," she grinned with that same confidence she had always resounded with. "I just need a little time to find a quiet spot where I can meditate. My master did it once- how hard can it be?"

"Wait, you've never done this before?" Wendy checked in with Mabel. the brunette shrugged but looked nonplussed about the idea of a first attempt. "It's better than trying to appeal to their humanity."

"How long will it take?" Dipper asked.

"Eh. Thirty Minutes?" Mabel told them easily. "At least I think so."

"Okay... Okay, Mabel, head inside on my word and head out the backdoor to wherever you need to go," Stan told her, "lets do what I do best- con these suckas." Stan turned and was followed by the four towards the Golems. "Excuse me, rocky people!" The four stopped their consoling and turned. "Okay, your right. We stole it, we're totally sorry, okay?"

"You will hand it back to us?" the mossy golem quickly demanded.

"Yes! Of course!" Stan replied in an exasperated breath, "my niece will go inside to find the Starwished or whatever. But we put it into a heavy safe, so it will take a few minutes to take out. Just bare with us, okay?" Stan asked them. The mossy golem seemed quickly ready to argue, but the others gave him a strong look, and it relented.

"Very well. How long must we wait?"

"Uh," Stan turned to Mabel and nodded her off, "thirty minutes. Then you can take your crazy stone and leave my establishment before you become permanent lawn decorations."

Mabel turned and ran, charging inside the Mystery Manor as soon as she could. With a wink to those she left behind, she darted past the doorway and quickly into the kitchen. She would need a match or lighter or some sort, maybe salts, a bottle of water- the exact materials her master had told her about weren't clear in the fifteen year olds mind. It would be close enough, she reasoned.

With the materials stuffed into her pants pockets, she ran across the building to the back door, and peeked outside. The Golems couldn't be spotted, and she assumed she was safe to move on. He feet quietly pattered across the grassy yard, running into the woods for the second time that day.

There were requirements for this kind of meditation. First she needed a very quiet spot; something easier to find without the construction workers going crazy with their job. Second she needed a place where she could be at peace. Sadly enough, the forest was not currently one of those places. With her brother around, Mabel certainly knew the feeling of ease, but alone, it was slightly more edgy and dangerous.

The eccentric girl did know of a place that could help her. Not too far, by the mountains that surrounded the town, she knew of a mostly intact mine shaft. There, she may be able to find peace. At least more at ease than the woods- if she placed her butt down in the middle of a tunnel, there would be only two directions something monstrous could attack from.

Leaping over several wide bushes, she finally spotted the inclining hill that held the entrance. It even made sense to her- earth elementals should obviously be found in caves. It was a no brainer.

The climb was quick and her breath was steady as she stepped inside the dark tunnel. A rusted and worn mine railing laid at her feet. Stopping her breath for a moment, she listened ahead, into the darkness that awaited. No moans, growls, hisses or roars. With a curt shrug, she walked inside.

Not only was it dark, but it was damp. Mabel could hear the pitter patter of dripping water around her. She stepped into a cold puddle, the splashing shooting up her pants legs and causing her a quick shiver. Nearly stumbling in her misstep by the puddle, she found dry dirt. Taking a few more precautious steps away from the dripping water, Mabel finally nestled down.

"Oookay, spirits of the elements," Mabel quietly said aloud, "prepare to meet the great and wonderful Mabel Pines."

Her feet were crossed over one another. Her rear sat as comfortable as it could against the dirt and pebbles beneath her. Using her technique she had trained with her master for many days, she cleared her mind, breathing deeply.

The thoughts around her drifted and sorted themselves into the darkness. The worries for the Mystery Manor, fading into nothing. Her fears for Dipper, still standing between the golems and the stone, she let herself know they could handle themselves. The concerns all slowly melted away as she let her being become one with the empty world around her. All that remained was the hard part.

Doing her best to not think about her actions, she pulled out the matches and salt. Tossing the salt into a small pile before her, she then lit the match. She could feel the tiny warmth and flickering light dancing over her face. She wondered if she was spooky looking.

_That was a thought!_ she scolded herself, and cleared her mind again. Gently, she lowered the match to the sprinkling of salts, and heard the small sizzle. It was now or never, assuming she had followed the tasks as she remembered. With a deep breath, she let herself feel as she imagined the earth to feel. Hard, contained, rigid, unmoving. She was eternal and forever stone. Even the weather couldn't change her. Stubborn and slow.

Nothing had happened.

Mabel blinked and tried again. She couldn't let herself become discouraged at the idea of her very first attempt not working. She shifted slightly, lit another match, and began to think on the earth.

Mabel felt as she were earth and support. She allowed herself to believe she could be chiseled into statues and monuments, a testimony against the wear of time. There was that light, deep in her mind, flickering and tempting her. Yet nothing happened- no voices or signs of response.

"Oh fudge," Mabel growled. She released another lit match and tried again.

* * *

"It's been a while," Dipper quietly told the others. It had been more than thirty minutes, and the Golems had patiently stared at the four, expecting a change in company, along with a shimmering, rainbow producing black stone.

"She'll be fine," Wendy quickly replied.

"What if she can't do it?" Dipper continued, not calmed by Wendy's reassurance, "or what if something else found her in the woods?"

"Quiet," Stan hissed at Dipper, "or we won't have the time to worry about Mabel, but our own sorry skins."

"What are you four talking about?" the mossy golem asked after peering at them.

"Ah, just worried about-" Soos started. Wendy and Dipper quickly shoved their hands over the handy-man's mouth.

"What... we'll have for lunch," Wendy finished for Soos.

"Is that so?" the mossy golem asked, and the three nodded in unison. "Lunch. Such a peculiar mortal habit; to eat." It turned away again, and the two lowered their hands from Soos.

"Aw man, sorry guys," Soos apologized, "I got a little carried away there. You know, seeing golems for the first time, kinda overwhelming."

"You know, maybe all we really need to is hold these chumps here long enough for the paranormal losers to come running back," Stan told them, "if they see four living golem creatures in my front yard, they'll hesitate before crushing my business on the internet."

"If they don't, you know, actually crush the building," Dipper pointed out.

The four golems were exchanging looks between one another. It had been some time since the promised thirty minutes, and they seemed to be aware of the passing time. Patience seemed to be part of their being, with exception to the mossy boulder golem, who was quite agitated with their withholding action. He looked at the four, and in a rumbling growl, stepped forward. Steps crunched the earth flat as he approached, and stopped before them.

"We have waited long enough," he told them, "where is she?"

"She's taking longer than we thought," Stan told him, hiding his worry with his best nonchalance attitude. "Keep your britches on."

"Bridges? Do you mock me?" the golem misheard, angering and pointing towards Stan. The calmly attitude fizzled out at the direct approach of the monstrous magical creature's gesture.

"Okay, just take it easy there, big guy. Maybe the safe is giving her some trouble- its got some complicated passwords on it!" Stan told the golem hastily.

"Yeah! It requires you to solve an equation based on trigonometry!" Dipper lied.

"And a game of hopscotch!" Wendy piped in.

"At the same time!" Soos added.

"Enough!" the golem roared to the four, hair blowing in the gust of hair, forcing Dipper to hold on his hat, "if she cannot retrieve the stone, then I will break the safe open and take back the stone."

"W-wait! That's my home!" Stan shouted as the Golem turned for the building, and he ran to block the path, "you can't just destroy where I live! I keep all my worldy possessions in there- my money!"

"That is unfortunate," the tree elemental added sadly. "We are followers of the earth- we do not wish to destroy."

"See? Smart guy here," Stan nodded to the winding tree creature, "knows what's up."

"You have stolen from us! Our master!" The mossy golem shouted again, "we will not hesitate to destroy that threaten our lives and our secrecy!" The golem lifted its arm, directing it for a sweeping punch at the Mystery Manor.

"No- wait!" Stan begged, but was unheard.

"Golem!" Wendy screamed as loudly as she could, catching everyone's attention. "I challenge you to a duel!"

Her words echoed around. She stood defiantly, glaring at the monstrous golems, who stared at her in uncertainty. Dipper did a double take to her words, his mouth open wide as she started marching closer.

"A... challenge? Duel?" the mossy boulder golem turned from the shack, taking a single step to be directly before Wendy, who also stopped, glaring up at the collection of stones. "What cause would we have to accept your duel?"

"You're not afraid of a small human girl, are you?" Wendy rocked her eyebrows up, daring the stone creature to refuse, "that would make you probably the worst guardians ever. In the history of all things."

"Wendy!" Dipper quietly shouted to her, but she held a hand back behind her, giving him good look in the eyes before turning back.

"HA!" the golem barked a single laugh," Fine. I accept your duel. What are your terms, human?"

"We have a staring contest," Wendy declared proudly, "we have to keep our eyes open as long as we can, and not look away from one another."

"You... you wish to engage in a challenge of this nature?" the golem chortled, amused to an extreme degree, "against me? A boulder? Very well!" The golem extended his finger, and Wendy placed her hand onto the tip, not even able to grasp the width of the rock. "If we win?" he asked.

"You get to bulldoze your way through the building here and get your stupid rock, assuming Mabel hasn't brought it back by then," Wendy told them, "and if we win, you turn your sorry butts away and march back to wherever you came from, and wait until we return that rock to you."

"Acceptable," the mossy golem grinned, "shall we begin?"

"Dipper, give me a countdown," Wendy told her friend.

"Wait, Wendy," Dipper pulled her aside, "you realize that you can't win this, right? He's a rock. He doesn't even have tear ducts to begin with! At least... I don't think he does."

"Dude," Wendy told him, a hand on his shoulder as she gave him a solid reason to feel fluttery in his stomach, "I got this. This isn't about winning: I just got to buy some more time for Mabel, right?" Wendy told him. Dipper's mouth had gone slightly dry, able to feel the breath escape from her words and hit his lips was too intoxicating to maintain a simple thought pattern. Instead, he feebly nodded and stepped aside. "Countdown, buddy."

Dipper nodded and shook the bubbly thoughts in his head, remembering that Wendy was putting her safety at stake. He looked between the two competitors, and said, "Okay. Three, two, one- begin!"

* * *

Mabel threw another match down with an exasperated cry. This was the second to last match she had tried using to commune with the spirits of earth. She was cold now, almost shivering in the slow air current of the tunnel as she desperately tried reaching with these elements. Her mind raced of the things she thought was earth, now just flashing images of rocks and stones and canyons, instead of feeling the intent behind earth. For the eighteenth time, nothing happened.

"C'mon you poop-stick-burning-sucky-thing!" she demanded, the thoughts in her head overwhelming the need for clarity. Mabel was done with the calm approach. She didn't want to be calm. She was angry, frustrated and tired of repeated the process for something that wasn't working anyway.

"UGH!" she finally slid back, tossing the salts in her pockets on the ground along with the unlit match. She was enclosed in darkness as she rested herself backwards. Had she misjudged herself? Maybe her master had just spoken well of her to boost her mood. In reality, was she just a single, lost student trying to bite off more than she could chew?

"No," Mabel told herself and pulled herself upright. "Giving up is for stupids," Mabel told herself as she felt for the matches she had just tossed down, and scooped them into her hands. She felt the single remaining match, and wondered what she could do.

Action was required. But she was dead in the water. No amount of struggle for the spirits of earth had amounted to anything more than a smoldering pile of burnt matches and some singed salt. She lifted the match to where she felt it was before her face and wondered: maybe she was doing this wrong?

Something about the ritual had to be missing. The water she brought with was only a contingency- should the fire burn her or catch fire to something else. Her master had said salts and flame and a strong meditation can bring the spirits to speak to the worthy minded. What else was she missing? Was there a step? Did she have to hold a rock in her hand?

"Bleh," she thought the idea of that working with the other elements. Holding water in your hand was slightly harder, but then there was holding air, holding fire. Impossibilities.

Yet then her mind clicked. Maybe she wasn't talking to the right person.

She felt the cold of the water bottle against her skin, and Mabel quickly removed it from her pocket and tossed it aside. She didn't want any indication to the next element that she had reservations. This one was going to know she meant serious business. Scooping some salt off the ground, she lit the match in her hand, and tossed the salt into the fire.

Mabel did not close her eyes this time though. She stared into the soft orange flame, peering into the core of the fire, thinking of its meaning. Warmth, power, strength to make your own path, uncompromising and unapologetic. This was her element; it spoke to her the strongest in terms of what she remembered from her masters teachings. Between her fingers she held that match, peering into the soul of fire itself.

"Ow!" she gasped, and dropped the match. Her fingertips were slightly singed, but she was okay. The fire was going out on the ground. Mabel closed her eyes in sadness, defeated.

"...lift me back up, child," a voice whispered into her ears.

Mabel gasped, and looked to the fire. It had yet to extinguish. Hesitantly at first, she looked around, and then back to the flame.

"Hello?" she asked the fire.

"Come now, I can't see you. Lift me back up," the tiny voice of the fire asked her.

Mabel gasped. Had it worked? Without hesitation, she reached down with the tips of her fingers and lifted the match to her face.

"Well, well, well," the voice pleasantly stated, slightly louder now that it was closer to Mabel, "I am summoned by a young woman? How marvelous." The voice was crackling and soft, exactly as if a burning logs embers could create words. It was gentle and welcoming to Mabel. "I wish to be larger. If you could please provide me some air?"

"Oh- of course!" Mabel puffed her lips and blew on the match gently. To her amazement the flame grew upwards, not consuming any more of the wood by her fingers. She did so again, and the flame grew more and more, soon easily the same size of her head. then two splotches of white flame appeared on the general blaze before her. Eyes. They were searing eyes.

"You are a twin," the fire spoke, "and your other is a brother. Amazing. I could feel the desperation emanate from you. All you had to do was direct your attention and you would have noticed my presence much earlier."

"You were around here?" Mabel asked in awe, "wow!"

"Spirits of the natural forces arise wherever our binding resides. The instant someone lights a match, a fire over a stove, a log over a campfire, and even a burning home," the flame warned Mabel, "we reside. In your attempt to speak with earths forces, you called to me."

"Wow... that's soo..." Mabel stared into the clearing face of the fire. More features were forming over time. The stead breeze of the tunnel provided fuel. The eyes now had pupils of bright yellow, and a small outline of a mouth was forming.

"But you didn't call to the spirits for a chat, I imagine, young lady," the spirit of fire told her eagerly, "you want something- otherwise your desperation would be shallow, and my flame would have been a blast of warning."

"Yeah! My friends and I are being attacked by golems!" Mabel told the fire. "I wanted to talk to earth to have him hold off these golems until we can give back the stone-"

"The Starkissed?" the spirit gasped, pulling itself away from Mabel. She stared at the flame, uncertain to its reaction.

"What is the Starkissed?" she asked.

"Starkissed... are stones of immense power. They are more rare than all the jewels of the earth combined. To find one of the size you found in their grove," the spirit told Mabel, "is more than a lifetime accomplishment. Stealing one, is a dangerous gambit."

"We didn't know it belonged to anyone!" Mabel pleaded, "we just wanted to show it to someone so they believed us about these woods!"

"I understand, young lady," the fire nodded, "trust is an important thing to have. Yet, I feel I must warn you, the owner of the stone would be less forgiving than the golems who approach you."

"The owner?" Mabel asked, "there's a guy who owns that stone? Wait," Mabel recalled the golems words," but they said they had been guarding it for over six hundred years!"

"Indeed they have," the spirit nodded.

"But you said the owner would be less forgiving, like he's still up 'n kicking. The isn't the owner dead?" Mabel asked after a pause from the fire. The flame shook its head side to side. "Whoa." Someone out there, or something out there, had been alive for six hundred years, and at one point stopped by the lands that would become Gravity Falls. "Who is it?"

"A being of immense power," the spirit began cautiously," a shadowy creature that has surpassed the expectations of mortals. It is one of the few human beings who can directly commune with us. The being I speak of is very angerous."

Mabel gulped. If the golems hadn't liked them stealing the stone, what would this scary, old sounding person respond with? It wasn't a question Mabel intended to find out.

"Can you help me?" Mabel asked the spirit after a moment to think, "I need to have the golems chill just for a little bit."

"They would never listen to my command. Golems serve the earth, and will not reply to the command of the spirits of flame."

"Well," Mabel tried again, "can you do anything? Ask a friend for a favor?" The spirit, now with a full face, sculpted to be neither woman nor man, but beautiful all the same, had a pause. It seemed to be thinking. Mabels eyes shimmered in the flame before her, and the spirit grinned widely.

"Perhaps I can. It will not be instantaneous," the spirit of flame warned her, "but there is one who can assist. I do trust you will return the Starkissed as soon as you are done with it?"

"Of course we will!" Mabel assured it, "we don't even know what to do with the crazy thing-a-majig."

"As you say," the spirit agreed, "I will send help. I cannot guarantee that it will stop them from their assault, but slow down? I most certainly think so."

"Oh, thank you!" Mabel wanted to kiss the face, but the heat reminded her of the very real danger the spirit possessed. "Thank you so much!"

"Of course, young lady. Now, as a reminder, you probably haven't noticed that your hands are on fire," the spirit looked down to her hands, holding the match. In the growth of the spirit of flame, Mabel didn't notice it's spread up her fingers. Indeed, she didn't seem burnt, and didn't feel it either. "As soon as the match leaves your fingers, I will no longer have the ability to keep your skin safe."

"Wait... so I'm going to be all burned up!?" Mabel shouted as she stared at her flickering hands through the fire.

"It is the danger of being one of flame," The spirit told her sadly, "one who is adequately prepared for face flame would never have held me so close. I am a dangerous being, after all."

"Oh... oh crud," Mabel swallowed loudly, prepared with the very real possibility for her hands to be singed after this conversation was done, "okay... I'm ready."

"A word of advice, Mabel Pines," the spirit told her, "those with the heart of fire must be prepared to be tempered by the same fire we wish to unleash. Our curse is our strength- to burn. Have some water nearby next time, why don't you?" the fire suggested cleverly. "Time for me to go now, or I'll be too large for you to put out naturally."

"Okay," Mabel nodded, "thanks again... bye- OWW!" Mabel screamed as she threw the match to the ground and tucked her hands under her arms. She felt the incredible burn of the fire wash away, leaving an icy cold residual pain along her fingers. The light was gone, and Mabel stumbled over to the water bottle. Her fingers raw, she struggled to open the bottle in the darkness, but finally managed. "Futter nutter butter crudder!" Mabel shouted as she poured water onto her burnt hands.

With a pained gasp, she stood up, trying her best to cradle her fingers together as she collected the plastic water bottle into her pocket. Mabel took her firsts step towards the exit, desperate for some anti-burn. The pain was severe, but at least worth it.

Help was on the way, as promised by fire itself.

* * *

"This is going to be a new world record!" Soos told Stan.

"Man! An employee I can finally advertise free of any guilt!? This is great!" Stan agreed, putting an arm around Soos.

"Wendy, tell me you can still see," Dipper asked the red head.

"Yup. Still see a big, mossy rock face," Wendy nodded gently, glaring at the face of the mossy boulder.

It had been over fifty minutes since the begin of the staring contest. Wendy's eyes had, shockingly enough, never watered, blinked, even gotten puffy or red in the near hour that had passed. Mabel had yet to show, but Wendy was showing no signs of slowing down. Dipper was a sucker for records like this, and he wasn't sure how long Wendy could go for. The human body had limits, and she had broken the last record almost ten minutes ago.

"Any pain?" Dipper asked her gently.

"Rather not talk about that," Wendy reminded him with a forced smile. Dipper inwardly throttled himself for being stupid enough to ask it, and nodded in apology. He wanted so badly to get her something, to hydrate her probably cracked eyes.

"This must be some sort of trickery," the golem growled, "humans have watery eyes! How can yours not have gone bad by now?"

"Maybe I just have some crazy pain tolerance," Wendy told the golem with a clever grin. "Dipper," Wendy quietly told the younger teenager next to her, "maybe its about time you and Soos went after Mabel?"

"And leave you behind?" Dipper replied fearfully.

"Man, I can handle myself. I was thrown out a window by a shapeshifter without a scratch. I'm good, okay?" Wendy resisted the urge to wink at Dipper, instead smiling sincerely to the teen. Dipper resolved his worry slightly and nodded.

"Okay, we'll be right-" Dipper stopped. There was sound coming up the driveway. He slowly turned, his eyes wide as a banged up van rolled towards the Mystery Manor. Dipper's heart slowed. If these guys saw the golems, maybe they wouldn't have to keep the Starkissed anymore.

The doors of the van opened, and out stepped the five men. Geoffrey was first to emerged, from his usual driver seat. The four others followed, two of them removing their glasses to stare at the golems, who all stared back.

"Wow. He wasn't kidding," Marcus said as they approached, "no stops. Look at these animatronics!"

"Anima-" Stan barked at the men as they shook their heads, approaching the golems. "These are animatronics you idiots!"

"Right. We gave you a chance to come up with something truly paranormal, and the best you get," Geoffrey announced, "is a squad of giant robots. Hey, at least it won't be a zero. It's a mystery to how you guys got these lying around without anyone noticing."

"Mister Pines isn't lying!" Soos called, on the verge of anger, "how could he lie about these golems!"

"Golems, huh?" Geoffrey snorted as he walked up to Wendy and the face of the mossy golem, who refused to look away.

"Get your human friends away," the mossy golem growled at Wendy.

"They're not our friends," Wendy told him back.

"What're you two doing?" Adam asked, scratching his brow, "having a staring contest?"

"Yes. Stop interrupting," Wendy and the golem told them dangerously. Geoffrey laughed loudly, and stepped up to them, taking his hands out of his pockets. As he did, Ben lifted his device, and scanned the being.

"Holy crud! Geof-" Ben started, but called too late.

"How does this thing turn off then?" Geoffrey stepped in between the two, and quickly grabbed the face of the golem. Wendy refused to break eye contact, and moved aside. The golem was less adaptive to the interruption, and roared, standing upright fully, tossing back the aggressor who had grasped his face.

"How dare you interfere with the noble duel of the staring contest!?" The mossy golem shouted at the trench coat wearing man, struggling to gain his footing again. "This," the golem turned to Wendy," was part of an elaborate scheme, wasn't it? You engaged me on a long winded duel to wait for reinforcements, to steal away the Starkissed!"

"Dude, these guys are idiots, we didn't plan anything with them," Wendy defended herself, "and I never blinked, once!"

"ENOUGH!" the boulder shook the ground with its bellows, birds in distant forest regions taking to the sky. "You will not walk away free this day, thieves!" The golem made to smash at Wendy, who dived aside.

"Holy tamales!" Stan shouted as he ran aside with Soos, the people around the mossy golem scattering. "RUN FOR IT, YOU IDIOTS!" Stan shouted at the N.P.P.P, who were avidly watching the four golems march for them.

"No way," Marcus stammered as the shadows of four earthly beings stomped closer, "this isn't like ghost level of activity."

"This is a class four monster!" Ben shouted, being the first to turn away and run into the van, "the EMF detector is going nuts!" The four other men followed suit, stumbling with their jackets as they clawed their way into the vans.

"We don't have it! They do!" Stan pointed to the van as two of the golems rounded on him and Soos. The Golems looked towards the van, and growled.

"Technology that pollutes? Destroy it!" The tree golem shouted. As the last door of the van closed, the mossy golem obliged, kicking the sides with his huge boulder feet. The van was lifted up, rolling wildly to the side as it hurtled away, crashing and spinning over and over itself, flattening the radio dish on the rooftop. Windows shattered and the sides bent as it the van rolled to an upright position.

""WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING!" the five inside the van desperately called trying to crawl their way out of the windows, cut and bruised everywhere.

"I want to go back to the asylum!" Geoffrey whined as he ran behind the trees and cowered there with the others. "Ghosts are easier to deal with than this!"

"You lied to us!?" The mud golem turned with the other four to the employee, employer and resident of the Mystery Manor. "Lairs and thieves?"

"Yeesh, you try to make a living these days and suddenly everyone's a critic," Stan said as he and the three others backed up against the building.

"Aw crud," Soos moaned as they backed up against a wall, powerless to battle against these titans of the earth.

"We'll go get you the stone!" Dipper called, "just let us go inside! I'll go get it now-" Dipper had started to step towards the door, but a huge fist slammed into the ground in front of him, and he halted his movement, "not moving an inch."

"We let one of your human friends inside already," the vine golem said, "and she has yet to return. Should we let another one go inside? Perhaps to take away or hide the stone!?"

"No! He can go inside and get it for you!" Wendy shouted, "just give him a chance!"

"NO MORE CHANCES!" The mossy golem shouted, and raised its fist. The eyes on the golem then shifted. He was looking into the sky, far above the Mystery Manor. "Ah... ah... Impossible!"

"What's he looking at?" Stan asked," is he looking at my wind gauge?"

There was a screech, shrill and vibrant enough for all the humans of the area to clasp their hands to their heads. Something was glowing, bright and powerfully. The mossy golem had barely any time to react. A huge burning object slammed into the fist, tossing back the heft creature with a resounding bang. The other golems gasped and took steps back, shielding their eyes from the beast flying in mid-air, its huge, burning wings gusting hot air around the Manor.

"Is... is that," Wendy gasped, stepping forward.

"A phoenix!?" the N.P.P.P by the trees gasped unanimously.

The huge bird was the size of the mossy golem. Golden feathers lined its belly, and bright crimson feathers cascaded along its side and top. It appeared in similar fashion to the thunderbird portion of the plastic totem pole Stan had standing next to the Mystery Manor.

"What the heck is going on?" Dipper asked in awe.

"Reinforcements," a voice stated as Mabel stepped out of the Mystery Manor. She held in her hands, which dipper quickly noticed were singed, the stone.

"Mabel!" he shouted, and ran to her quickly, forgetting the spectacle that was the bird of fire. "Your hands- did that-" he motioned to the phoenix.

"Nah, that was my fault," Mabel grimaced at the pain shooting through her hands, "gimme a sec bro. Got to fix this, don't I?" she told him as she stepped to the recovering Golem, "HEY! Big guy!" she told him, "you want it badly enough to break stuff? Here!" she held it above her head.

"Where did you... get that?" the tree golem demanded, pointing to the phoenix fearfully.

"I asked for a favor," Mabel tried her best to sound easy, but the pain of her burns causing her to wince.

"I only know of one who can summon a phoenix to a location," the vine golem said to the others. There was a shift in mood among these guardians, and they looked to Mabel in awe.

The mossy golem glanced between her and the large burning bird as it dropped next to Mabel, tall enough to look the being of earth dead in the eyes. It screeched at him, daring the rocky collection to approach. Some of the moss had been singed, and it was with a pause that the giant creature strode forward, and lowered a hand down to Mabel. She dropped the stone inside its hand and stepped back, clutching her injured hands.

"Lets not have this happen again," the golem warned them as he turned, "and make sure you are thankful for your gift. _He_ does not often place favor on anyone, let alone favor enough to send a sun bird to help."

"Yeah, don't worry," Mabel nodded, "next time we'll ask nicely if we need to visit you and your sparkly grove of jewels."

The four golems looked to her and the remaining humans, and slowly turned and started heading off towards the forest they came from, their resounding steps shaking the ground like miniature earthquakes.

"Owwww," Mabel finally gave into the pain, and held her hands before her eyes, the swelling red skin resolute and entirely covering her fingers.

"Oh my god! Mabel!" Dipper ran to her, sliding to his knees as she fell to her own.

"It's okay. Maybe a little bit of anti-burn and ice will do the trick?" she asked hopefully to her brother.

His response was less hopeful. Those weren't standard burns, but possibly hospital attendance required burns. His didn't know what to say. Dipper begged instead to take the burn instead, anything to take the anguish out of Mabel's eyes.

There was a loud screech again, and Dipper stumbled away, turning. The massive phoenix, majestically shaped like an eagle the size of car, stepped closer to Mabel, checking her with one side of its face, using an eye to stare at her.

"Oh, thanks buddy," Mabel told the bird, "and tell thanks to whoever sent you. They're awesome."

The bird blinked, and then poked at Mabel with its beak. Before she could stop herself, Mabel placed her hands on the side of the bird, in attempt to hold it back from further pushing her down. Her hand hit more flames.

"Mabel!" Dipper gasped, and ran over, ready to face further injury. The phoenix pulled its head away, and turned, leaving a shocked Mabel sitting on her knees. Dipper gasped as his eyes found their marks. The burns had vanished. "What the... your hands!?"

"Can phoenix heal people?" Mabel asked Dipper as she started to stand, waving her hands around through the air, uncertain if they truly were healed, or she was undergoing some hallucination.

"Mythologicaly speaking," Ben piped up from the trees, "Phoenix tears, ash, feathers, and even claws were considered to be tools for rebirth and had amazing healing prop-" Ben stifled his words as the phoenix screeched at him, causing him to yelp and hide behind another, further into the forest tree.

"Thanks buddy," Mabel said again to the bird. It gave her a single glance and small chirp in response. Gusts of hot air were blasted around as the huge beast flashed its wings and took to the sky, screeching into the distance as it left a trail of embers and fire.

"It can cause re-birth?" Wendy stammered as she watched the bird fly away.

"Man! That's something I should have known," Stan snapped his fingers as he too saw the huge creature soar over the mountains, "could have kept a few for myself, you know?"

"Grunkle Stan, you aren't close to dying," Mabel turned to her grand uncle.

"Ha! Says the person who came up to town to see me because they thought I died!" Grunkle Stan barked. He had little time to chastise her more, as she ran to give him a quick hug. "Gah! Okay, okay, you win this point. Fine." Stan chuckled as the five of them realized they had scraped by again without a permanent injury. Then his eyes focused on the trembling crew in the woods.

"What about them?" Wendy asked. "They kind of witnessed everything, like they wanted to."

"Yeap. One second," Stan started to march over, taking his sweet time to bask in the glory that was his critics cowering from a sight that only left him 'mostly breathless'. "Hey, you chumps," he called to them shaking them from their stammering, "so, the rating?"

"W-w-what?" Geoffrey managed to reply dimly, his eyes still scanning the skies, "but what if another one comes down!?"

"Trust me fellas, if you're worried something is going to jump out of the skies and eat you, you really don't want to stick around, "Grunkle Stan told them, "we've had to deal with pterodactyls before, so this is-"

"What!?" the five shouted in shock.

"Yeah, they were stuck in sap until the summer heat melted it away. Luck for the dinosaur, almost bad luck for a pig. Anyway," Stan leaned on the tree, staring at the five men who still cowered in the shadows," you guys might want to come out of the woods. Just as many crazy stuff can eat you from there."

The N.P.P.P. leapt out from the trees and into the middle of the entranceway, looking around for signs of predatory activity. Their world, it seemed, had been shaken, shattered, and smashed over their heads.

"So, the rating?" Stan asked them, stepping forward with his usual confident strides.

"T-t-t-ten out of ten," Geoffrey managed to speak before turning and walking quickly towards the busted van, "t-t-time to go."

"Awww, you sure you fellas don't want a tour? I'm sure if you just go back down to the Diner we can find an undead army somewhere around here to show off!" Grunkle Stan advertised to the five, who seemed as if they were done with their careers as paranormal investigators. They climbed into the van, which spluttered back to life, and it pathetically bumbled away, unsteady and in dire need of repairs as it raced down the drive way. "Ah, the feeling of using terror and fearing for ones life as a means for advertising," Stan sighed and breathed the still warm air around him.

"Good thing Mabel was able to speak to the spirits of the earth," Soos mentioned.

"Wasn't the spirits of the earth," Mabel informed the others, "I couldn't get through to the guy, so I spoke to someone else- fire."

"That's why your hands were burned," Dipper guessed.

"Yeah, kind of didn't expect to have that happen," Mabel admitted, "doofus Mabel moment."

"Well, at least everything is nice and calm now. Thank goodness for the intervention of mythological creatures at a convenient time to save the day," Stan said as the five grouped around, watching the disappearing van leave a smoke trail. "All is good..." Stan sniffed the air. "Do you smell something burning?"

Stan and the crew turned to look at the building. The roof had caught fire.

"HOLY SMOKES!" Stan shouted as the small fire slowly spread from the top to the tiles around it. "SOOS, PUT IT OUT!"

"I'm on it, mister pines!" Soos shouted as he ran over to the hose and grabbed a ladder.

"DAMN PHOENIX!" Stan roared into the sky, "I'll pluck you alive and sell your parts for profit if you ever come back here again!" He ran off to help Soos, who had caught the end of the hose on the ladder, which was teetering back and forth, entirely unstable.

"Well, we did it. We saved the Mystery Manor," Mabel said, wrapping her arms around Wendy and Dipper as the fire spread over the roof, "mostly saved."

* * *

Classic rock. A great genre of music, a fun way to poke fun at a witty sentient stone, and a well polished hunk of Marble.

This wont be the last time you all see the Starkissed. Or the phoenix. Or the N.P.P.P. Or Wendy! Thank god for Wendy; what would we do without her?

Wendy: (poking her head through the door) I dunno dude. Just be chill.

Thanks Wendy, you da man. (she leaves after giving a contemplative nod to EZB) So, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! It's been a fun/busy week here during Turkey week, location EZB-land, but we're all still managing to provide as much content as humanly possible, or otherwise. Yahoo!

If you've been enjoying the fun thus far, remember to check TheEquestrianIdiot2.0 for various other doodads and fun things, including things that are TOTALLY HORRIFICALLY AWESOME. Or hell, our Adaption of Gravity Falls into Aliens. Chestburster, anyone? (EZB looks at his chest expectantly) huh. Nothing. Kind of odd for nothing to happen. (Mjolnir, The Hammer of Thunder, crashes down on EZB, pinning him to the ground) OOWWWWWUUGGGHHH... wasn't this in my Hellsing story? Why are you here, mighty hammer?

Wendy: (steps back in) Oh. I got you bro. (she lifts the hammer easily and marches out the weapon resting on her shoulders. EZB stares.)

Holy crud. (the roof caves in onto the stunned writer, burying him alive.)

* * *

**Zkr hadfwob gr wkhvh jrohpv vhuyh? Pdbeh kh'v lqwr jdughqlqj.**

**9-20'19 19-15-15 19-16-1-18-11-12-25. 12-5-20'19 21-19-5 9-20 1-19 1 4-9-19-3-15 2-1-12-12!**


	14. Birds of a Feather: Part 1

The Gravity Falls Mystery Manor side door opened briskly. Just prior to noon, two teenagers lead themselves out of the building, a determined look in their eyes. On tucked his hat around his head roughly, theories and formulas rushing through the brain of Dipper Pines as he walked to his car. The other was busy sticking a final sticker to her cheek to accompany the other; Mabel pines finally slipped on the two camouflage stripes on her cheeks, and huffed out aggressively, punching at her stomach, where a kitten with a combat helmet was displayed on her sweater. She was ready for war.

Since the previous day's happenings, where Grunkle Stan had to convince the work crew of Weytani-Yuland that their equipment caused the damages to his roof, and therefore would be paid by the company, the twins had been set back yet another day of research. Clues from the missing data, along with Grunkle Stan's suggestions, told them that there was a place to find the secrets- the Town Hall.

"This will suck if it was just one huge typo," Mabel stated as they passed the grumpy crew, no longer pleasant towards the twins or anyone else who resided at this building.

"Don't say that," Dipper begged, tightening his shoulders instantly, "that would mean we're down to nothing. Just an extra stick-battery thing and a million questions."

"Bro, don't worry," Mabel patted his shoulder, "with me at your side, in total surrrrious mode," Mabel glared ahead like a preying falcon, "we'll crack down on this case and before we know it- BAM! Solved!"

Dipper fought to restrain a smile for his sister, but lost the fight. Even if she constantly was distracted from the investigatory work, she tried her best. Her unending support was also a nice boost of confidence. The twins after all, only had three more days up here before they turned around and went home.

Just the thought of leaving something as possibly big a mystery as this one infuriated Dipper.

"Hop in," Dipper told her as he unlocked his car.

"Awww, just for once, can't we get on my bike?" Mabel flopped her arms limply by her side, "your car reeks of stale boredom."

"That's pine-fresh, actually," Dipper retorted, leaning on his door, "and every time I've gotten on your bike so far, you've tried your best to either throw us into a ditch or freak me out!"

"Hehehe, I usually get the second one."

"Mabel," Dipper barked at her as she laughed, "get in sis. We got work to do?"

"Aww, fine. But if we need to go into town again later, we take the bike?" she asked as she strode around to the other side.

"Fine, sure, okay," Dipper agreed half heartedly as he landed on the seat and closed the door. Mabel cheered and entered the passenger side, grinning with her excitement. Any chance to scare Dipper the know-it-all was more than worth it.

"Onward, my valet!" Mabel demanded, pointing forward to the dashboard.

"I'm not your- that joke doesn't even make se-"

"ONWARD!"

Dipper sighed and put the gear into place, having the car start slowly backwards as he turned around to leave the driveway. A steady turn and another gear shift had his black vehicle forward.

"You meant escort, by the way," Dipper told his sister as they left sight of the Mystery Manor.

"I meant what I said," Mabel stuck her tongue out at him.

"Valets don't-"

BOOM.

Dipper and Mabel both shouted. The young teen slammed the breaks hard as the car instantly halted.

"What the heck was that!?" Dipper demanded to his sister. "Was that a gunshot?"

BOOM.

The brother yelped, desperately looking around. The car itself had shaken with the blasting echoes. Mabel turned to her side window as Dipper jumped again, gasping and scanning for the source of the violent episode. Outside, in the woods, there was movement heading straight towards them.

"Dipper-"

Dipper had only a moment to turn and open his mouth, ready to ask 'what'. As he and Mabel stared towards the rushing shadows, they burst out. Two hooded figures, on about their height while the other was the other a good half foot shorter than the twins, ran out and nearly into the car. They gasped, showing their faces for a moment to the twins.

"Who the-" Dipper gasped, as they glanced back behind them, where more movement was heading their way. The two, the girl and the teenager, didn't stick around. As quickly as they came, they ran past the car and over the dirt path to the other side of the woods. The twins watched them run, shocked at how desperate they seemed. After looking to one another, they turned front and saw a large man with a large stomach holding a huge shotgun up.

BOOM.

"Gah!" Dipper shouted, leaning away from the man, who had just aimed his large weapon after the fleeing pair. The man in front of their car, who had just blown away a substantial chunk of the trees to the side of the road, seemed to be muttering to himself and aiming again. He wore a beaten and worn hunters camouflage jacket, along with several layers of gillie material, wrapped around his arms and legs. He had graying frizzy hair, and looked dirty as he was unshaven.

Just as the two watched, he indeed fired again, rocking the air with his huge double-barreled shotgun. As the two winced from the sonic blast that reverberated the windows of the car, the man swore loudly and charged ahead. He began to run into the woods, leaving the twins shocked and out of breath.

"... okay," Mabel put a hand on her brother's shoulder, "I know we wanted to figure our stuff out... but we can't let that just slip by."

Dipper groaned, but nodded, "Agreed! Lets go!"

"Don't have to tell me twice," Mabel stared to undo her seat belt, but Dipper was still moving his car, pulling it to the side of the road. Once he had parked, Mabel shoved the door open and leapt outside, Dipper following closely behind. The two gave each other one more look as they crossed the road, and then ran into the woods.

They were already darting past thick trunks and green bushes as they ran after the three strangers. Wind whipped by their ears, warning them of their speeds, sprinting as best they could. It wouldn't be a hard chase for the twins. All they had to do was follow the deadly sounds of an exploding boomstick.

"Plan?" Dipper asked Mabel as they hurtled over a falling Log, Mabel actually flipping over the tree, to which Dipper gasped, "show off."

"I think we should have them stop shooting at each other first," Mabel tried, looking to Dipper quickly and then forward to avoid hitting any trees, "maybe it's all a big misunderstanding."

"Looked like a crazy redneck hunter," Dipper added, his stamina running low- all the running and fitness he had been doing with his sister had increased his tolerance to such activities, but certainly he was no where close to on par with her.

"So? We just have to have a crazy redneck reason for him to stop," Mabel suggested, "speak his language!"

"M-mabel," Dipper gasped, "I don't think thats-"

Dipper was slammed into the dirt by Mabel. Not a second too late, as a huge blast of sound and splintering wood exploded next to where they had just been.

"I don't know who you think you are," a voice called to them, "but you need to stay away! They're mine!" Mabel, who was quick to get back to her knees as Dipper struggled to roll back onto his elbows, was able to peek around the tree she dived behind. There he was: the hunter holding the smoking end of the gun and turning away and running into the brush.

"Almost shot us!" Dipper said, color in his face paler.

"He really knows how to be crazy," Mabel nodded, slowly standing up.

"A crazy jerk-wad," Dipper growled as he stood, wiping away the remains of dirt and leaves from his arm. "He said they're mine? Is he hunting them!?"

Mabel was already back on her feet. Dipper was right- this guy had acted like he wasn't just shooting at them because of a misunderstanding of some sort. He was chasing them to kill them.

"Let's hurry!" Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm and pulled him back up. Before he could get proper footing, she turned and starting running after the guy. Dipper stumbled, but following, his pace slower. The brunette girl was darting ahead, blazing a trail through the woods as quickly and quietly as she could. This guy was aggressive enough to shoot at them for following, she wasn't sure how he would react to them approaching a second time.

Breaking into a mild clearing, she found him pointing his gun above, angling towards higher branches, where the two hooded figures clawed their way higher and away, trying to mask themselves with the branches. The hunter fired again, chipping away more of the tree. A scream above told Mabel somewhere up there was a girl younger then even her.

So much for any diplomacy.

Mabel ran, her learned martial mind preparing for combat. The man was mid-heavy, his belly being larger than his shoulders. If she could make him bend over, he would be easy to topple. Her footsteps finally caught the man's attention. He gasped, spun around, and fired towards Mabel had just been. She dived aside.

Spotting a rock next to her hand, she grasped it and tossed it right for the man's fingers in the trigger. He yelped, the stone making full contact against his hands digits. He cradled the hand for a moment, long enough for Mabel to run at him again. Remove the gun, remove the threat.

She reached forward the business end of the gun and leapt up. Skill and training had her ready to push herself onto his shoulders, landing her feet next to his head and leap backwards, tossing her away and him onto his back. His grip on his gun was stronger than expected though: she had to quickly adjust and place her feet onto his chest, and yank as hard as she could. The man had an iron grip.

"I warned you!" the man cried, and spun around, throwing her off him with his spin. As she landed on her feet, he unloaded the empty shells, and almost instantly had two more inside the barrel. This was it- his gun was loaded.

Mabel heard him coming. Dipper was right behind the hunter, barreling with his greatest speed he could manage. The hunter heard as well, and started to spin. Call it magic of the connection twins had, but Mabel knew precisely what they were about to do before it manifested.

Dipper leapt, actually jumped in mid air, and planted both feet onto the chest of the hunter as hard as he could. The impact was not a soft one, and the hunter cried out and stumbled back and into Mabel. She grabbed the gun, tossed it away. In that same movement, she twisted herself backwards with the man in a neck-lock, and threw up backwards, slamming him head-first into the dirt. The man's body stiffed up, and then let loose, falling to the side.

"No one..." Dipper breathed heavily as he growled at the unconscious man, "points a gun at... my sister. Ever."

"Dipper!" Mabel cheered, and lunged at him, hugging him tightly, "that was an amazing kick!"

"Gah! Mabel!" Dipper cried, still trying to catch his breath.

"That was a freaking great leap! Wow! You have been learning! I... oh man, you almost leveled him with that!" Mabel giddily told him as she let go of her domineering hug.

"You... really think so?" Dipper smiled a little, and then nodded, "yeah, it was pretty cool, wasn't it?"

"Try _way_ pretty cool!" Mabel punched her brother's shoulders, and he winced.

"Thanks, Mabel. Just... you know, had to-" Dipper gasped, and realized there was whispering above them in the trees. "Right... those two," Dipper nodded above him with a curt jolt of his head.

"I got this," Mabel told him with a nudge of her shoulder, and turned to the tree, "GREETINGS, EARTHLINGS! I AM MABEL THE MAGNIFICANT! APPROACH US WITH HONOR AND-" Dipper slapped the back of her head," Ow! Hey! I wasn't done!"

"What my sister would like to say," Dipper called up into the tree, "is that we're not going to hurt you. We want to make sure you're okay. Can you hear us?" Silence followed their words. Dipper almost thought that they had left the tree during the fight.

"It's okay if you really don't want to come down," Dipper continued, "I know I wouldn't if some crazy dude had been chasing me through the woods... shooting at me... and some kids show up out of the blue. I'd be paranoid too."

"Are you trying to give them reasons to think we're monsters?" Mabel told her brother, who shrugged.

"Being honest?" Dipper turned back to the tree, "Can you at least tell us if you need help? We won't climb up or anything. Just want to make sure you're okay."

Nothing. Not a shake of leaves, or a whisper. They must have left.

"Well... I guess that's that," Dipper shrugged and turned away.

"Whaaat?" Mabel ran ahead, holding him back with a hand, "but we saved their lives or whatever. We should at least see if they're okay!"

"We didn't save their lives... well, okay," Dipper relented at the glare his sister gave him, "we really did help them, but they didn't ask for it. They ran by, when they could have asked for help. We should let them be if they don't want company."

"But... we're good people," Mabel pouted. Dipper chuckled and nodded.

"Let's go Mabel. We have our own-"

A soft thump sounded behind Dipper, and he turned and stepped side, letting Mabel see as well. One of the figures had landed there, possibly from high above, kneeling before them. Slowly it stood up, and the two saw the face of a younger girl. She had a bang of corn-silk blond hair protruding out from her hoodie, and was trying to put a smile on her face. The girl's eyes flickered between the two teens before her. Uncertainty, a little fear, and a tad bit of worry shimmered in her gaze.

Dipper opened his mouth to say hello, and then the second figure landed. Much quicker to rise than the girl, the person was a man, just slightly taller than Dipper. He had slight facial hair, and seemed to be sweating slightly. The two both had bright blue eyes and the brother had a beautiful face, sharp and wonderfully even. It was enough for Mabel to put her hands to her cheeks and stare.

"Hello," Dipper said calmly, "I'm Dipper. This is-"

Mabel shoved past him, knocking him aside to be in front of the beautiful figure, "MABEL! I'm Mabel! Nice to meet the two of you!" she grabbed the stunned man before her by the hand and shook vigorously. Quickly he winced and pulled his hand away.

"Ouch! Ah, Thanks," the man replied, a silky voice matching the face, causing even more wonder to flood Mabels eyes, "nice to meet you."

"You have the voice of angels," Mabel muttered as she listened to him. Despite being clearly in pain, the boy laughed. "Tell me you can sing."

"Thanks. I'm Jace," he motioned to himself with his injured hand, "and yes, I can sing. This is Jessandra, my younger sister."

"Hi!" Mabel waved to the girl behind him, who had taken a quick step next to her brother. Dipper walked back over, brushing off more leaves that had clung to him when his sister had shoved him over. He returned the favor by pushing her head aside, which she groaned a "whamp" as she was shoved.

"Hey Jessandra," Dipper waved a hand to her. The girl in the hoodie seemed stunned. Dipper waited for a reply from the small girl for a moment, but she just stared into his eyes. "Okay. So, Jace, your arm looks kind of messed up."

"Huh?" Jace blurted out, and looked to his hand, "yeah. It got caught between two branches when we were running. Twisted my elbow kinda badly."

"Oh! Sorry!" Mabel cried out, clenching her teeth in worry she had broken a chance of friendship with her aggressive hellos. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I am," Jace grinned and waved a hand at her, " Takes more than a little tree to stop Sir Jace the just. I've taken worse punishment than that before!"

"No you haven't," Jessandra finally piped up, looking at her brother disbelievingly.

"Yes I have," Jace nodded to Dipper and Mabel," of course I have" Jace turned to his sister, keeping the warm smile on his face, even though he looked to his sister with cold eyes.

"I had to jump into the tree to pry you off because you didn't know what to do, and you thought you broke it. Crying to be abandoned and have me run off-"

"Well, I don't _usually_ hurt myself," Jace argued, looking back to Dipper and Mabel, "pretty good about avoiding injuries."

"That's because you're afraid to do anything but fl-" Jessandra stated, but her brother smacked the side of her head so quickly it was a blur, "OW! Jerk!"

Dipper was tempted to laugh. What were the odds; these two were actually like him and Mabel. An older brother who was aloof and easy going, and the younger sister who nitpicked and over-thought things. It was weird seeing it like this. He looked to Mabel, who seemed to have the similar thought to her, as they shared a happy grin.

"Uh," Dipper interrupted a quickly developed wrestling match, where Jessandra had somehow managed to get ontop of her brothers back, and was pulling on his head, "so if you need some help with that arm, we can take you back to our place."

"Oh?" Jace stated, lifting his sister onto the ground, who had frozen in place with him to listen to Dipper, "uh, thanks... I guess."

"You guess? Be our guest!" Mabel said the pun with gusto, and Jace snorted and laughed.

"Nice one!" The attractive man patted Mabel's shoulder with his other arm, and she returned the favor and hit his injured one, "Gah!"

"Sorry!"

"I, uh," Jessandra cleared her throat, "that's really nice. Thank you. But we have to get moving," she said, tugging on her brother's sleeve, "thanks so much again."

"Jess," Jace said quietly, and turned away from the twins, pulling his sister and a private meeting facing the tree. In quiet voices they spoke, discussing and debating quietly. Dipper instantly was suspicious. They had been attacked, and then saved by him and Mabel. Why would these two have reason at this point to distrust them? Unless, of course, they were hiding something. Their hoodies were particularly big.

"Mabel," Dipper leant over and quietly said to Mabel, "did anything they did remind you of when the gnomes were acting like 'Norman'?"

"What?" Mabel spluttered, but at Dipper's insistent stare, she thought. "Not really? I'd say they act too graceful to be gnomes."

"Graceful?" Dipper snorted.

"Just look at him," Mabel pointed to Jace, who was just standing up from his talk with his sister. It was like his entire body flowed together, each bone able to act in accordance to their neighboring body parts. Mabel cooed gently, waiting to see the teen's face again. Dipper personally thought he was sort of a 'pretty-boy', but couldn't deny the adjective. He looked back to his sister, and saw a hunger in her eyes.

"Chill," Dipper rolled his eyes, aware of her tendencies with boys, "we just met them."

"Never to early to start a little romance, am I right?" Mabel wiggled her eyebrows with excitement.

"Yeah right," Dipper huffed back, "there totally is such a thing as too early. Just ask twelve year old me."

Mabel stared at him, uncertain to his meaning. Her mind finally put two and two together, and she sighed. A more sad look overcame her expression, and she patted his shoulder.

"You didn't have much of a chance back then, did ya?" Mabel asked. Dipper's chest felt instantly heavier and he slowly looked away, trying to swallow the secret that trembled inside his throat. It was better for the both of them if Mabel wasn't aware of his feelings for Wendy. Damn resurfacing feelings.

"Sorry about that," Jace stated aloud as he finally turned to face the twins, "sibling conference."

"Entirely understandable," Mabel grinned, grabbing Dipper's shoulder with her own for a half hug, "being awesome twins ourselves."

"I thought there was some similarities!" Jace pointed at the two, excited at the information.

"Of course they're-" Jessandra put a hand to her face as Jace grew a smug grin. "You're an idiot, bro," Jessandra told her palm.

"Quiet, heretic," Jace offhandedly said to his sister, "so, we'd love for you to take us somewhere safe."

"Awesome!" Mabel hopped once, and with a quick wink to her brother, stepped to Jace, extended a crooked arm and asked him, "shall I escort you to my car sir, where my valet can drive us to safety?"

Jace spied the arm, and smiled back. "Of course, my lady!" Mabel suppressed a huge fit of giggles as he took her arm into his own, and they linked together, walking past Dipper, who wasn't entirely certain how to take in their forwardness. Jessandra stepped up to him as they watched the duo walk away.

"Ugh. I wouldn't want to do anything like that," Jessandra said with a disgusted tone at her brother. Dipper nodded and gave the younger girl, easily a head and a half shorter than him, a quick glance, "I mean, not unless you do. I mean, you know, not going to say no and be a jerk. Cus, no one likes... a jerk. Yeah."

"Don't worry, you're good," Dipper assured her with a quick pat to her shoulder, and began to walk ahead. A few paces ahead, he realized there was a patter of footsteps next to him. Taking a pause, he turned to see the girl, staring blankly ahead, her cheeks slightly red. "Uh, you okay?"

"Huh? Okay? Me?" Jessandra stumbled over her words, trying to push her hair out of her face, "why wouldn't I be? I'm not looking at you weird! Right? Of course! ...hahaaa..." She lifted her fingers and pointed to Dipper as if her words had been the part of a well thought out joke. Dipper was certain he small the faintest trace of a throaty gulp from underneath her sweater.

"So... you're okay?" Dipper asked again.

"Yeah," she quickly said as she nodded and followed up to him.

"So, what's the story of the hunter looking guy?" Dipper pointed over his shoulder with his thumb, indicating the unconscious hunter. She scoffed, looking ahead.

"He passed by his home, and he thought we were going to steal something of his. Went all crazy, and chased us all the way though this town," Jessandra told him, "like we grabbed money or something."

"Did you?" Dipper asked after a pause, catching up with the laughing pair ahead.

"No!" Jessandra defended herself as she adjusted her hoodie.

"Okay, I believe you," Dipper said, keeping a mental crossed fingers in his head. Certainly he had nothing to prove that they had been thieves, but she and her brother had seemed to try and hide secrets from him and Mabel. At least they didn't want something to be shared. "So, where do you live?"

"Huh?"

"Where in town do you live?" Dipper asked her calmly, "Mabel and I can take you back to your place after we get some ice on your brothers arm. Come to think of it, I don't we've seen you around here."

"I- uh- we... don't live around here," Jessandra said slowly, keeping her eyes on Dipper.

"Really? Oh. There's a town around Gravity Falls you came from? I kind of thought we had miles and miles of wilderness between us and other cities," Dipper thought aloud while looking back to the kid, who glanced away.

"Not... really?" Jessandra tried saying, coming out as a question. "Jace and I are sort of, uh, gypsies."

"...Gypsies," Dipper repeated, looking at her.

"Yeah. Gypsies," Jessandra repeated, her face in a force neutral hold, trying to feign any other emotion boiling under her surface.

Dipper found it odd, but truthfully, it wasn't the weirdest thing he had heard. Coming from this girl, being a gypsy was actually very normal. For a town filled to the brim with goblins and gnomes in the woods, where the dead haunt their business stores, and monsters roam under the surface of the local lake, to run into a pair of nomadic travelers seemed entirely tame. Then again, they were young. She clearly was younger than Dipper and Mabel, and her story was that the two were traveling together. Two pre-adults just walking around America without a backpack? Possibly by foot?

Not exactly a solid story. Dipper nodded as understandingly as he could though, willing to be patient to learn the truth on this one. Besides, he had another mission to get to.

"I guess you two got separated from your family," Dipper said aloud as he spotted the coming dirt road ahead, where his car rested.

"Ah- right, yup," she nodded, tucking her hands behind herself as she strode in pace, "so what about you guys? Just driving along a dirt road in the middle of the woods, or is that what's there to do in this town?"

"Ha," Dipper chuckled at first, "you'd think that at first glance. Gravity Falls is kind of a lame place to be," Dipper told her," but only on the surface. Once you get to know it better, there are a lot more things going on than you can imagine."

"I can imagine. I mean," Jessandra coughed, and her tone changed from understanding to uncertainty, "I don't know. Just a lot of woods. Nothing special about woods. Just... woods."

Suppressing an urge to show her his journal, Dipper stepped out of the woods with her into the dirt street, where Mabel and Jace were looking at the car.

"Man, what old fart left this out in the road?" Mabel asked aloud, looking to Dipper with a grin. "Someone has no sense of style."

"They didn't even get it with bumper stickers," Jace added, "this car needs bumper stickers."

"I love _stickers_," Mabel told Jace, "I even carry a roll of emergency stickers with me at all times, just in case a paper needs some color-love," she whipped out a small roll of colorful, mismatched stickers with too many themes to count," I think some of them were scratch and sniffs too."

"You're so well prepared," Jace complimented her, "you must be a fashion ranger or something."

"Oh, stop it you," Mabel slapped his chest and laughed with him.

"Well, if we're ready to get into my boring car," Dipper said with a sigh, displeased with Mabel getting vindication towards his apparent lack of taste, "we can get you some ice dude."

"You're car is nice," Jessandra protested, to which Dipper smiled and gave her a nod. As the four climbed in, Dipper was certain he saw a small smile and blush on the younger girls face.

The car was spun around, and it quickly made its way back to the Mystery Manor. The elder brother and younger sister gasped and pointed out things on the shop, as taken into the overwhelming appearance the wooden building had on visitors like every other tourist. It was amusing for Dipper and Mabel, as their minds were entirely immune to such devices, and Dipper parked the car aside the building.

"There you are!"

As the four were exiting, Grunkle Stan met them, walking out one of the side doors, grumpily approaching them with his hat removed and only in boxers and a wife-beater shirt. As he adjusted his hat, he then noticed the additional young folk, and halted.

"I never thought I'd have to tell you, but no strays allowed," Stan told Dipper and Mabel.

"They're not strays!" Mabel laughed, "they're wonderful people who we saved from a deranged hunter!"

"I was wondering what all those gunshots in the woods were about," Stan mumbled," fine, great, you two going out of your way again to get between some crazy farce. Neither of you got shot up, right? Good," he nodded to himself after glancing between the twins, "fine, who are they then?"

"This wonderful man is Jace," Mabel pointed to him with bother hands, like she were a game-show award hostess, "and this lovely lady is Jessandra!"

"Hi."

"Hello."

"How's it hanging?" Grunkle Stan asked the two of them, scratching his rear absentmindedly, "so what do they want? I'm not doing tours today. Hurt my back putting out the fire yesterday."

"Soos put out that fire," Dipper pointed out, "you just ran around and panicked while the roof kept blazing-"

"Whatever. My shouting promoted his efforts to get it done faster, and in that process my back started hurting. So stuff it," the old, messy looking man grumbled to Dipper, who rolled his eyes and said nothing, "if they're coming in, no freebies with the merchandise, got it?"

"Uh hu. We're just getting him some ice," Dipper said, "then they can leave if they want to."

"Oh, so soon?" Jace asked as they started to follow Grunkle Stan inside, who unceremoniously closed the door behind him as he walked back inside. "I think Jess and I would love a little look around. It's a really cool looking building."

"Yeah, sure" Jessandra said, "but what happened with that fire?"

"Ah, right," Dipper looked to the ceiling, wondering if there would be any ashes remaining from the burnt wood above, "there was... huh," he looked to his sister as he walked inside with the four, uncertain to his willingness to divulge the part about a Phoenix burning part of the building up, "equipment issues. You saw those guys working on the side of the building? Somehow their stuff burst into sparks and... well, old building made of wood and sparks make a mess when put together."

"It was yesterday?" Jessandra asked suddenly.

"Uh, yeah? Why you ask?" Dipper looked to her, and she shifted her gaze and shrugged while picking a spot on by her eyebrow.

"The kitchen's over here," Mabel pointed to a hallway as Stan headed for the living room, no doubt to continue watching Broker Nova. Dipper stepped aside in the doorway, letting the three file in, Mabel in the lead. "Here, roll up your sleeve so we can get some ice on your arm."

"Oh, no, that's fine, err, I can do it on my own," Jace looked between Dipper and Mabel, smiling brightly.

"Suit yourself, strong man," Mabel winked to the injured teen, and gently tossed him the ice-pack. Rather than rolling his sleeve up, Dipper watched Jace slowly shimmy the ice-pack into the sweater arm, and push it near the injured location.

"You can take your sweater off you know," Dipper stated.

"I'm fine," Jace assured him with a wave of his arm, "where me and sis come from, this is considered wintery weather."

"And where would that be?" Dipper tried. Jace looked to his sister, and Dipper's gazed flickered to follow. There it was again- suspicion growing as they had a silent communication together.

"California," Jace answered.

"Get out!" Mabel gasped, "us too!"

"Really?"

"We just came up here for the summer," Mabel told Jace, "you see, Grunkle Stan, that guy who let us in, we thought he died, but he didn't and now we have this crazy mystery we have to-"

"Mabel," Dipper coughed and interrupted, "can you help me with something in the gift shop?"

"Dude, what?" Mabel chortled, "we were just going to have a chill day-"

"Something important," Dipper looked to her, forcing intent to read across his eyes.

"I... oh. Oh yeah, that one thing! Duh! Pfft," Mabel smacked her head, and stepped past Jace, who leant on the kitchen fridge," just _chill_ here for a sec," she told the teen holding the ice in his sleeve, who smiled back and clearly loved the lame pun, "we'll be back."

The twins stepped into the Gift shop, where the two other occupants and workers of the Mystery Manor stood- Wendy behind the counter, reading quietly into her usual magazines, and Soos, who was busy sweeping to the rocking sensations that the twins could have sworn had a orchestra involved in it.

"So, I'm getting a withholding information vibe from these two," Dipper quietly announced to his Sister.

"Huh?" Wendy lowered a corner from her magazine, "what about us?"

"Not you twos," Mabel assured her, "we found some friends in the woods!"

"Oh. What are they today? Elves? Werewolves?" Wendy asked as she brought the face of the reading material back to her eyes.

Mabel gasped. "Maybe they could be elves!"

"Human; at least they haven't shown any signs of being anything else," Dipper told the redhead, and then turned back to his sister, "they're holding off telling us everything. Like their story about being gypsies? How does that work with two teenagers, let along a teenager and a younger sister?"

"Being a gypsy isn't a job, Dip," Mabel said," it's a lifestyle, duh."

"They didn't have any kind of backpack," Dipper listed off with his finger, "their clothes aren't dirty from traveling, and they act like they have no idea what town they're in. If you were wondering around, you'd probably find out by road signs or whatever as soon as you could."

"Well being chased through the woods would throw you off," Mabel shrugged.

"I'm telling you, they're hiding something," Dipper pushed with vigor, "they said the hunter was just chasing them from his home or whatever- but he said they were his to hunt. Hunt! That's not chase away and make sure they don't come back!"

"Crazy redneck saying crazy redneck things," Mabel laid a hand on his shoulder as Dipper tried to speak again, "look dude, maybe they just have some family stuff they don't want to talk about. Maybe that's okay, you know? We have our own secrets we're not telling them."

"...live and let live?" Dipper suggested. Mabel nodded and Dipper gave in.

"Oh! I know!" Mabel cried out suddenly, and poked her head through the doorway, "hey guys! Jace 'n Jess! Come in here! We want you to meet some cool peeps!"

"Whoa, yelling inside, what's-" Soos turned from his musically tuned sweeping, and saw the twins standing behind him, "oh, sup dudes."

"Hey Soos."

"Soos, Wendy," Mabel announced loudly as two figures walked inside the gift shop, and positively were awed with the amount of merchandise, "meet our new friends from the woods- Jace and Jessandra! We saved them from a crazed hunter guy!"

"Sup," Wendy waved from the counter lazily.

"Yo! Name's Soos," Soos approached them, a hand extended, which Jace took with his uninjured right for a quick shake before the large man did the same with Jessandra, "nice hoodies."

"Thanks," Jace nodded as he adjusted his slightly, "it's useful for long trips."

"I can't believe you guys can wear those outside in the summer," Soos nodded in amazement, "like it was hot yesterday, and it's supposed to get even hotter."

"Well, we're from southern California, so heat doesn't bother us," Jessandra answered quickly.

"Yeah, heat isn't a problem," Jace pursed his lips and glared at his sister suddenly, and then turned to Mabel, "so, how about that tour? We'd love to look around a place that's world famous!"

"Oh no, they saw the signs?" Wendy asked from the counter, "Stan got another two."

"Sure, you guys want to have it now? Or do you need to wash up or anything?" Mabel asked the two.

"Wash up?" Jace repeated, looking to his fingers, which Dipper noted, were very clean.

"Yeah, from the long hiking you two have done," Dipper said forcefully, and Jace blinked, a moment of stress passing his face. He placed a smile long his lips quick enough though, and nodded.

"Sure! A quick change sounds wonderful," Jace said.

"Here, I'll show you up. Dipper can wait down here like a lamer," Mabel poked her tongue at her brother, who glared back.

Mabel was quick to turn away and march towards the stairs. She had an ulterior motive to all of this. The twins room had an older style lock on their door, one that if you found the right angle, could see all the way through. Mabel was a little too excited about this handsome faced man to let pass a chance to allow a single peek through the door. It wasn't as if she was going to burst in and stare him down, just a quick look into what lied under those thick, baggy clothes.

"Up here," Mabel waved them ups the stairs, biting a lip in excitement.

"You okay?" Jess asked her.

"Yup!" Mabel waved their worry off, rubbing her red lip, "just stepped up and spoke at the same time! Pfft, clumsy me."

"I wouldn't say you're clumsy," Jace told her, "you have a strength to your step, like a dancers glide."

"Oh stop it! You sheer scallywag!" Mabel leap the last three steps in her bubbling excitement. She wondered if he noticed it from her training or she had always naturally been gifted at walking like a princess.

"So here's mine and Dipper's room," Mabel held open the door, "and across from it here is the bathroom. You know, you should use our room first, let your sister wash up if she needs to?" Mabel asked Jace, trying to hide her excitement.

"Sounds okay to me. Jess, you want the sink first?" Jace asked his younger sister, who shrugged. "Jeesh, don't be _too_ excited about it. Thank you, my lady Mabel," Jace bowed as he stepped inside and slowly closed the door. Mabel fought the urge to swoon, but a groan and a door slamming behind her shook her from her pink gooey feelings.

Show time.

Mabel rubbed her hands together, and very quietly approached the door lock. A hungry grin grew across her face as she found the light, and started to look in. There he was, looking around the room with interest. His eyes seemed to naturally gravitate towards Mabel's side, looking at her belongings and few posters that remained from their first visit. As he started to lift the sweater gingerly, wincing from the arm, his eyes befell something out of sight on Dipper's side of the room.

Right where the desk was. Mabel gasped as quietly as she could. She and Dipper had completely forgotten to put away the blue batteries. They were out and open to view. What could she do? Those weren't for people to see. Should she run in forgetting something and just take those out of sight?

Then the door opened behind her suddenly. "Where do you keep the so- what are you doing?" Jessandra asked when Mabel was clearly looking into the lock.

Electricity jolted through Mabel and she leapt up from the accusatory tone. She grasped the handle of her door mid-jump, pushing it open and forward to stumble inside and land on her face. Jace yelped and jumped away. Mabel was able to look up from the floor, and then she swore she had hurt herself more than she anticipated.

He was much more colorful than she remembered. Along his arms were streaks of bright neon green, gold, oranges and dark blues in an intricate layered pattern. Mabel tried blinking- maybe the light behind the window was causing a weird effect on his arms. Post blink, it was still there. In fact, it looked clearer.

They were feathers. Feathers all along his arms. Even by his ears and the back of his neck- there were beautiful, shiny feathers all along his body.

"What are you doing!?" Jace demanded, his face flustering as he reached for his dropped hoodie with one arm, and desperately held it on his arms. "Can't I get some pri-"

"Oh... my... god," Mabel slowly stood, "you're-"

"It's just a costume!" Jessandra ran between her brother and Mabel, arms outstretched, "we just wear it because it's part of a family tradition! They aren't actually part of our body!"

"_Our_ body!?" Mabel gasped, looking to Jessandra, who's eyes widened horribly at the realization that she had said that.

"Good going, sis," Jace grumbled.

"You're eagle-people!? That's soo freaking cool!" Mabel ran to close the door behind her, and then turned back after they area was secure. The siblings before her appeared deeply shocked and confused at Mabel's reaction.

"Wait... that's it?" Jace asked, "that's all the reaction you have?"

"Well, no, I'm still way, waaaay excited," Mabel admitted, shaking her hands in the air, "but that makes sense- you're not walking around, you're flying around, aren't you! And when you hurt your arm, you could just fly away from that jerk could you?"

"But... but you're just a normal human," Jessandra stepped up to Mabel, "you should be freaking out that anyone has feathers coming out of their arms."

"Well, dating a merman kind of changes your perspective of 'normal'," Mabel told them slyly, and they both had their mouth fall open.

"You know of people like us?" Jessandra asked.

"You're dating?" Jace asked, seemingly crestfallen.

"Of course! And no, Mermando and I broke up a long time ago. Being a prince of his kingdom kind of put him into an arranged marriage. But yeah! Dipper and I have met tons of people like you before! So," Mabel stepped up to the two of them, "what do you call yourselves?"

"We're harpies," Jace told her slowly, "bird people."

"You have literally the prettiest arrangement of feathers I have seen on anything," Mabel told Jace as she walked over to his uninjured arm, and stroked his feathers. Jace gasped and stepped aside.

"Y-y-you don't have to do that," Jace said with a blush.

"Did I hurt you?" Mabel asked, worried she may have pulled one out, "gosh dang it-"

"No, that just, uh," Jace looked away, very red in the face, "it felt nice."

"Oh! I, uh," Mabel put a hand to her mouth, "sorry! I think? Yeah, sorry-"

"What are those?" Jessandra's voice barely registered for Mabel, but it was enough to glance towards the girl. She was pointing towards the desk.

"Shoot!" Mabel growled and stomped over to the desk, picking up the three sticks, and shoving them into a drawer quickly, ignoring the desire to run around making 'vroomy' sounds. As their faint light vanished, she spun around and grinned, "just a little project me and Dipper were working on. Nothing weird or unusual, I promise you that!"

"Uh huh," Jessandra nodded, entirely unconvinced with Mabel's assurance.

"Oh man, you guys," Mabel stepped forward, "Dipper and the others will freak OUT when they hear you're actually harp-"

"No!" the two shouted.

"But Dipper and I are all about this sort of thing," Mabel told them, "he's usually the one who starts looking for people like you- just to meet with them and see what they're like."

"We can't have people know there are harpies in this town," Jace said, adopting a new tone; one of formality and authority, "if they did, more hunters would arrive to find us."

"So he wasn't just chasing you two away," Mabel nodded slowly, stroking her chin in thought. Dipper had been right after all.

"He- uh- wanted our feathers," Jessandra quickly piped up, "we're not exactly your normal bird species, so a collector would pay a high price for these," she raised her sleeves, and bright brown and golden feathers extended from her arms.

"Wow," Mabel gasped as she saw Jessandra's arms as well, "but really guys, Dipper would love to know-"

"Tell us what those three glowing things were," Jessandra offered suddenly, "and we'll let you tell him our secret."

Tempting offer, Mabel thought. After all, a little information exchange couldn't hurt? Show me yours and I'll show you mine? Then again, Dipper may be excited to find out about harpies, but he would be upset about having his secrets with Mabel betrayed without his consent. That, and if Grunkle Stan found out they included anyone else after he told them not to, especially after that fiasco with Tambry and McGucket, he'd be furious with the twins.

"Fine," Mabel sighed, "your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you, Mabel," Jace stepped forward, sincerity in his eye," I'm glad we can trust you." Mabel grinned and felt her stomach roil with excitement.

"Trust, right," Jessandra prodded her brother's back, "because she totally wasn't peeking into the lock earlier."

"Oh look at the time," Mabel spun around really quickly, "I need to be downstairs, waiting for you two to finish up! Hahaa!" she opened the door, and turned back in, "remember, secret safe!" she winked over-dramatically and closed the door behind her. Rumbling down the stairs in a rush, she let all the tension flow out of her with a large breath. It was going to be hard keeping this secret. But a promise was a promise.

She turned for the gift shop, where Dipper was talking to Wendy.

"And it was pretty awesome, I don't even know really how I did it- just jumped up and 'boom'," Dipper mimed the action of his kick with his fingers as a pretend him," two feet into his chest."

"And this guy had a gun on you?" Wendy asked him as she turned a page, looking between him and 'Disregarding Work Weekly'.

"Mostly. He was turning away from Mabel when I got the jump on him. He was going to shoot at her, what else was I going to do?" Dipper told her, a expectant smile on his face.

"Sounds pretty cool dude," Wendy gave the teen a congratulatory punch on the shoulder. Dipper's eyes gleamed and he stared back.

"Bragging about how you can't keep up with me in a race?" Mabel interrupted the talk, having Dipper whip around to her, pink in the cheeks.

"You took a while up there," he told her, "spying on them or something?"

"Nah, just helping Jess find some hand sanitizer," Mabel shrugged. Dipper turned away, clearly not giving it another thought. Definitely one of her better lies to her bro.

"So what's the plan then?" Wendy asked the two of them, putting down the magazine, "you going to include them in the search for answers for those blue things?"

"We need to keep them out of it," Dipper quickly answered.

"Yeah," Mabel sighed disappointedly, "Grunkle Stan was probably right. This is our nutty adventure to solve, and getting others involved isn't going to help them."

"Mabel?" a voice called from the stairs. The twins turned to find the siblings approaching the bottom of the stairs. Back to fully clothed, they eyed Mabel and Dipper carefully as they approached. "So, how about that tour, huh?"

"Heck yes!" Mabel cheered, and turned to Dipper, "how about you, Dippy-dotty?"

"No thanks," Dipper growled at his sister as Jess giggled at his nick-name.

"Uh, I'll I think I'll pass too," Jessandra also said, "not feeling like looking at a bunch of stuffed animals."

"They're not stuffed animals," Jace told her strongly," they're mysteries of the world and beyond our own understanding!"

"The only mystery this building has is how you can fall for any of it," Jess told her brother, who growled back, but turned to Mabel.

"I like her," Wendy snickered to Dipper quietly, "got spunk."

"Looks like it's just you and me, my lady," Jace nodded in a bow to Mabel, who grinned to Dipper at his action, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"To the mysteries!" The two walked in unison away, deeper into the building.

"Well, they're hitting it off easily," Wendy joked, "Wonder how long it'll be until the engagement cards are sent out."

"What?" Dipper and Jess turned to her, to which the redhead burst out laughing.

"Relax, I'm joking," Wendy told them.

"Ha, good one," Dipper tried to grin, but was still uncomfortable with the idea of his sister really going for a guy so soon. He looked to Jess, who had a furrowed brow. Dipper easily assumed she had the same thought. After a long sigh, Jess turned to Dipper.

"So, uh... do you want to, maybe, go outside and look for stuff? You know, mysteries and things?" Jess tried asking with a cool attitude.

"I'm okay, thanks Jessandra," Dipper smiled to her. Her face reddened, and she nodded stiffly.

"O-okay. I'll just be outside and stuff. You know. In case you want to come outside too. Just letting you know," she said all while walking backwards towards the screen door that lead outside, "and want to hang out or... whatever."

"Okay, cool," Dipper told her with a raise of his eyebrows. Jess then stepped outside and out of sight. "Huh. That was a little weird."

"Really?" Wendy asked him, eyeing with disbelief, "you of all people think that was weird?"

"What? Why?"

"Dipper, come on, you're kidding me, right?" Wendy asked him. Dipper became flustered. Had he somehow offended Wendy with something he had done? She seemed amused by it, maybe it wasn't too bad.

"Sorry, what are you talking about?" Dipper tried, "I didn't say anything bad, did I?"

"Dipper, there are a ton of signs," Wendy snorted, "she blushed when you talked to her, she wants to hang with you, and didn't stop facing you until it became weird. Does any of that sound familiar?"

Dipper stared at the redhead. Something about the way she was saying it all did seem to hit home. Like a memory he had of something special. Or someone. Someone he was speaking to right now. Three years ago. In this very building. Dipper gasped and his eyes widened. She was right- they were tell-tale signs of the same feelings Dipper had for Wendy.

"She likes you, man," Wendy told Dipper with a small grin, "young crush, incoming."

* * *

You said it Wendy. Man, Dipper just can't take a hint. Not that he ever could. Then again, he always over-thought things, at least in his attempts to get a certain someone to notice him and like him.

So, Jace and Jessandra. Ten points to whoever can guess what _really_ brought them into Gravity Falls. HINT- it's bird related. ;)

A bit less of an 'exciting episode', but it was crazy at the beginning, and now we have some fun young characters for Dipper and Mabel to chill with... for the next episode. Then we move one. Because life is too fast and no one seems to stick around this town. Except for one guy, and we won't officially meet him until episode ten.

Welp, hope you enjoyed this first half of chapter seven. We're getting close to the end here folks. So enjoy it! :D

(angelic music plays, and EZB is lifted out of his chair by a golden light, out of the window and into the great silver clouds)

Okay, I didn't mean THAT kind of ending! C'mon! Put me down! GAH!

(EZB fades into the light and won't be seen unless you review him.)


	15. Birds of a Feather: Part 2

"Oh... oh man," Dipper sighed and turned away from the redhead by the counter, laying his back against the wooden island. "She likes me?"

"Kind of obvious," Wendy told him briskly, and then looked to her coworker, "right Soos?"

"_We_ _are the children of the stars and sun, the youngest seekers of each horizon_," Soos hummed as he swept the floors, enamored with the music on the radio behind him. Wendy gave him a chance to register her call, and after another verse to the music, she rolled her eyes and gave up.

"At least it's something I can tolerate," Wendy grumbled as they gave Soos an eye as he danced around.

Dipper had already fallen into his thoughts. Like a cascade of worries and doubts and fears, this news was more than just a little awkward in relation to their new friends, but it made Dipper worry about himself. Just how bad was he at detecting this sort of thing? He was used to hanging with Mabel, who when she found a crush would display her feelings with as much vigor as possible. How subtle could these hints be? Or was he just oblivious? Innocent?

The worst of these emotions was directed towards his own desires to hide his feelings. Even glancing to the redhead, who flipped a page of her magazine, seemed to incite a longing in his chest; pulling at muscle that he wanted left alone. She mustn't know. She had once, and Dipper knew it wouldn't go anywhere anyway. Mabel would definitely not be allowed to know- her unending teasing would have Dipper become a monster in a matter of days. Soos would be fair about his feelings, but he was horrible at keeping secrets, and Stan had no qualms not knowing Dipper's feelings.

But what if all this time, all these days as Dipper struggled to bury and swallow that heat that rose when he saw her, what if that all was actually on the surface? Plain in sight and easier yet to call out as 'lovey-feelings'? Well, self-burial and mummification wasn't out of the option.

"Dipper, you okay man?"

Wendy's voice rocketed his soul, his world, and he spluttered and spun around.

"Yeah, yeah!" Dipper poorly assured her, his voice slightly higher than previously, "I'm just... thinking, you know. What to do."

"Kind of funny, isn't it?" Wendy asked him, a tad of humor in her voice.

He knew exactly what she meant. The tables had been turned. Now he would play the older, apparently attractive, target and Jessandra would be the helpless young love. Wendy's comment was a joke, but there was something of a truth in it, that maybe Dipper could get help from. He had little to no experience of people liking him; something that the redhead he now faced did have.

"Wendy, you know what to do about this sort of thing, right?" Dipper asked slowly at first, "you know, dealing with someone younger than you... liking you," Dipper's heart felt like it might have exploded. That was about as close to telling her, again, how he felt. At least this time it wasn't over what he thought was her dead body in a flooded underground laboratory.

"I guess you could say that," Wendy winked playfully at him. This was all sorts of weird to Dipper now. Maybe if he hadn't still liked her, it could be funny, but she was still older than him and he still liked her.

"Can you give me a pointer? You know, something that I'll need so I don't end up hurting her?" Dipper tried, his arms hopelessly waving around. "I don't want to crush her, you know? But... she's... too young for me," Dipper admitted, a deep rooted and self-hating pain exploding in his mind. Such a freaking hypocrite.

Wendy gave him a look, and then glanced to the doors outside. Maybe she was checking to make sure the girl in question wasn't in earshot, or maybe it was to clear her thoughts, or just to remember what it was like dealing with twelve year old Dipper. Finally she hummed quietly, rocking her head in thought. Finally she spoke.

"It's hard to say, dude," Wendy shrugged, "you're going to need to find this out on your own. But," Wendy added as Dipper groaned, "I can say you'll want to play it easy. Being judgmental never helped anyone."

"I'm not-"

"I know, Dipper, I know," Wendy assured him, "but you got to understand man, this sort of thing, crushes, they're risky. You're playing around with people's feelings and stuff. Those are the easiest things in the world to get hurt."

_Tell me about it_, Dipper grumbled in his thoughts. "So then, should I just let her know?"

"Not unless you want to end your friendship quickly," Wendy laid it out to him, "honestly man, this is a waiting game. She'll tell you probably how she feels before long, and then it's up to you to be as understanding about it as possible."

"Right, understanding," Dipper nodded shallowly. Oh, he definitely understood.

"C'mon man, confidence," she told him, reaching over to put a hand on his shoulder, "trust me on this. It didn't kill you when I explained myself, did it? I mean, we both knew it wasn't really going to work."

Dipper looked her dead in the eyes. He wanted to say something, maybe an assurance, or a denial, or heck just stare into her eyes a bit longer. But her words stung him; cutting deeper than he would have expected to. He nodded slowly, lowering his eyes and stepped away.

"Yeah, maybe you're right," Dipper mumbled, and turned towards the outer door.

"Dipper?" Wendy asked, sounding uncertain.

He couldn't bare to turn around to her. Push the door open slowly, all he really wanted to do was punch himself in the head as many times until he got it.

It really wasn't going to work.

God, that was almost the worst thing said to him all summer. And it was supposed to be reassuring. Of course Wendy meant well by it, but how could he just take that information in and not feel like a metal clamp was crushing his heart; each beat it made growing tighter and tighter. Worse of all, it didn't change a thing for him. He still had that feeling lodged inside, and the image of Wendy brought flutters and pain tied together.

There was his car to the side of the building. The side door was open; probably from when Mabel climbed out. He sighed and walked over, closing the door with a slam. Maybe a tad harder than he intended to. It didn't matter- he needed a vent. Then, as he peered into front seats, he realized that there was something he could do to take his mind off of all this romantic crud.

There was still a mystery to get to. Town hall awaited.

He wanted Mabel to tag along, but she was probably too busy flirting with pretty-boy Jace to be interested with helping him now. Boys usually did come first before Dipper, after all, as far as he could remember. With a loud huff, he walked around the car, wrenched open the door, and climbed inside.

"Stupid... bumper stickers," he grumbled, and twisted the keys in the ignition, and backed the car out of the lot, and headed towards the road into town.

* * *

"And here is the great, scary, and awe-inspiring Sascrotch!" Mabel declared, waving her hands to the stuffed doll of a big-foot creature in underpants. "It's mysteries are as hidden and closely kept as its tighty-whities." Jace burst out laughing, and Mabel joined him.

"That's fantastic," Jace told her, and then pointed away, towards a glass box, where a still head of Larry King sat, "What's that one?"

"Oh, that's just cursed wax-figure Larry King's head," Mabel waved a hand to it, bored with it's existence, "we caught it trying to hop after a rat. See how his ear is missing? Rat stole it."

"It was... hopping after a rat?" Jace asked, leaning into the window to get a better look. "But you said it's made out of wax."

"I also said cursed wax," she reminded him, "there were a bunch of these guys once, but then they tried to kill us, so Dipper and I decapitated him."

"Oh," Jace nodded, looking to Mabel with understanding, "sounds perfectly understandable. So does it still hop around?"

"Only when the moon is waxing and at night. Don't worry," Mabel told him, "he's tried to escape, but when you get a headache from slamming your face into glass over and over, you just sort of give up and accept your fate."

"That... almost sounds depressing," Jace said, giving the head a second, saddened look.

"Uh, tried to kill us?"

"Right. Nevermind!" Jace apologetically smiled which Mabel couldn't help but giggle from. The man just flooded the room with pleasant vibes and good juju. So easy to get along with and nice to look at, Mabel wondered if she could get him to lower the hoodie.

"So," Jace began again, after a few moments of silence following their laughs, where Mabel just stared at him, "be honest with me here: are most of the things in this place really paranormal and stuff?"

"Honestly?" Mabel leaned her head back, wondering if she should tease him more. She relented, "nah. Most of them are just touristy things for summer visitors."

"Well, it's getting pretty close to that time, isn't it?" Jace asked, "what's with the lack of tours?"

"Well, Grunkle Stan is renovating. The Mystery Shack shall soon become the Mystery Manor," Mabel explained, "and besides, a lot of schools haven't let out yet. Like, next week is when I think my old elementary school lets out. High school just gets lucky. If you can call it that."

"High school," Jace murmured, like he were perplexed with the title.

"You... know what that is, right?" Mabel asked him.

"Of course I do!" he moved away from the glass box, "it's the third level in standard American public schooling. After that it's college, and then-"

"Okay, okay, you don't need to get all encyclopedia-ey on me," Mabel shoved his shoulder as he approached a construct of corn on the cob in the shape of a unicorn. "Almost sounded like Dipper for a second there."

"Sorry," he told her, "Jess and I are homeschooled, so we are kind of used to having to go into detail when someone asks questions like that. Just in case we get caught or something... have to sound normal."

"You do sound normal," Mabel promised him, a hand on his shoulder as he looked at the glued together art project turned tourist sight.

"I- that's not what I mean," he turned from the silly unicorn, brushing down his hoodie and revealing those amazing feathers from his back and behind the ears. "Can't exactly pluck them out each time I want to blend in."

"Your feathers? Don't do that," Mabel asked of him, "they're wonderful."

"And hard to hide," he added. "Running around in a hoodie in summer is hard enough, but try stealing one when you've been shot down by-" Mabel gasped. Jace squinted and put a hand to his eyes.

"You were shot down?" Mabel gently asked him, looking to his arm. Jace pulled away, fearfully looking to her. "Jace, come on man, trust me."

"I'm... really not supposed to," he told her with a pained look.

"But I trust you!" she reminded him strongly, "you wouldn't hurt me! We're friends!"

"Friends who just met."

"Still friends."

"Mabel-"

Dipper had been right, dang it all. There was more going on here than just a stupid little hunter chasing some harpies around town. Why couldn't she just be lucky enough to have fate deliver this great looking, sounding, heck even smelling guy to her feet like a basket full of joy? Was there something wrong with that?

"Jace," Mabel held her ground, firm, but gentle as she glared at him, "please. Tell me what's really going on?"

"Please, can you drop it?" Jace begged her. His eyes shimmered. It must pain him to have to constantly shut her out, or anyone else he had ever known not savvy with whatever secrets he held. Mabel was not in that kind of pitying mood though.

"What kind of secret is it that you won't even tell me?" Mabel demanded. Pretty as he was, there wasn't much he could do except tell her what was going on that wouldn't please her.

"The really dangerous and life-changing kind," Jace quickly told her, "not something I want to drop onto anyone's day."

"We deal with that kind of stuff all the time," Mabel said with confidence, "heck, back when Dipper and I came up here for the first time, and when we discovered Grunkle Stan was working on a giant portal to-"

"Wait, what!?" Jace gasped, leaning back. Mabel smiled confidently.

"See? Trust. Me."

"But... I-"

"Jace, I lied to my brother for you and your sister," she told him, and his shoulder slumped, "I'm keeping a secret from him because you asked me to. I'm lying to my freaking brother, dude! He _loves_ this sort of thing, and I'm keeping one away from him as it walks right past his eyes. So fess up before I get tired of lying to him!"

Jace lifted his gaze from the ground. There it was again, those puppy-dog sad eyes. God she wanted to sooth him out, tell him she didn't mean it, but there was something angering about how much she had been willing to tell them anything they wanted, and still found this much resistance. She was a fast friend-maker, and she understood people move at different paces, but she felt locked out from this guy she liked. With a angry snort, she turned away, and started marching out.

"Wait."

Mabel halted and turned. Jace was reaching inside his sweater, and began to lift his injured arm out of its sleeve. She watched as he again removed his entire thick sweater, and held it aside. In a white wife-beater, he stood before her. Not hiding his injured arm with his sweater like last time, he turned his shoulder towards her, and she saw it. A bandage had been tightly wrapped above his elbow, a faint red mark along its side. No bruise, but a cut or slice along his arm.

"We met him yesterday," Jace explained, sitting down on the floor sadly as Mabel walked over, "we were lost. We'd never been to Oregon or Washington before, and we were just following a trail. Then we met him; Mister Folbrow. The Hunter. He just grazed me."

"You knew him?" Mabel asked, sitting in front of him.

"We trusted him. He seemed like the best source of information and seemed pretty friendly. Mabel, that was until we told him what we were looking for. Then he went mad. He demanded we take him with us, and let him... use it."

"Use it?" Mabel repeated.

"What my sister and I are following," Jace added, "it's dangerous. A creature of myth and legend, dating so far back in time I don't even think the English language was invented when these things flew around in the skies still."

"This thing also flies?" Mabel inquired, "why is it dangerous?"

"Well, it kind of has a tendency to destroy things by accident. It's just its nature. But what makes it really scary is what it makes people do."

"And that is?" Mabel asked, looking to her feathered friend, who was busy picking at the bandages on his arm.

"Go mad," he said simply.

"Oh. Yeah, that seems pretty dangerous enough," Mabel admitted, "why does it do it, exactly? Can you tell it to chill or whatever?"

"Mabel, it doesn't need to do anything. All that happens is people find out it's real, and that it's ashes can... create miracles, and people go crazy looking for it," Jace fearfully explained, "look at Folbrow- he almost shot you guys to keep you away from us!"

"And that's why you wont trust me?" Mabel said as she nodded to herself, coming to understand his fear, "because you think I'll go crazy and try shooting you too."

"I, uh, it sounds stupid for you, but-"

"Then trust me!" Mabel begged, scooting closer, "Jace, c'mon pal! Look at me!" she reached inside her pocket and withdrew a roll of her stickers. He stared at them as she pulled on off, put it on her face, and then followed suit with his own cheek, where a sticker proudly read "Such a fly-guy" with an eagle wearing sunglasses. He chuckled at hers, which read "Cat-astrophically purrfect" where a well groomed silver and grey cat wore a tux. "Boop. See? Your friend."

Jace smiled despite himself. He clearly still strongly felt opposed to letting her in on anything. Yet Mabel saw it, a dawning understanding that Mabel, even if she was a goofy, airheaded silly teenager, would be there.

"Okay," Jace said as he nodded, and began to stand up. Mabel followed him and he added, "but let's get my sister and your brother in on this too, okay?"

"I like it even more now," Mabel grinned, "just as I like you."

"Hah, you're funny," Jace smiled, and rubbed the top of her head, "just as always."

"Huh? That wasn't a-" Mabel stammered, but Jace was grinning and walking past her.

Mabel cursed the inside of her brain. That had to have been almost perfect! She made a breakthrough with the topic of him hiding things from her, and then even getting to state she liked him. How did he miss that? Was he too intent on the revealing of his secret to her and her brother? Dang it! Mabel followed Jace's progress back through the shows and into the gift shop, where Wendy stared out the door, looking concerned.

"Excuse me," Jace asked, catching Soos's attention, "hey. Have you seen Dipper or my sister around?"

"Sure dude," Soos nodded, "your little sister was getting something from Dipper's car I think."

"Thanks," Jace nodded and headed for the door, leaving Mabel to try Soos for herself.

"Soos, you seen Dipper?" Mabel walked over to the handyman, who had lowered the music, the radio have changed from his new favorite band.

"Uh yeah, he and Wendy were talking a few minutes ago I think," Soos turned to his co-worker, "yo, Wendy! Dawg, you seen Dipper?"

"Huh?" she blinked and looked back to them, "uh... yeah, he went outside."

"Well, he could be anywhere now," Mabel exaggerated hopelessly. Footsteps heralded the return of Jace, who seemed panicked. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Dipper's car is gone," he stated worriedly.

"Oh, that explains what the sound was outside," Soos nodded, "guess he headed out for something."

"But did you see my sister leave the car?" Jace demanded of Soos.

"Uh... no. No I did not."

"They really could be anywhere now," Jace growled, hands on his eyes, "great. Just when bro wants to say something important, little sis has to go running off with a stranger- err, friend," Jace added at a warning glance from Mabel, "sorry, still in protective mode."

"I suppose I understand. Alpha twin here; I get you. Follow me," Mabel told him, walking towards the door. "We're going to go talk to them together."

"But we don't know where they went," Jace worried as he followed, keeping up with Mabel as they exited the shop.

"Actually, if he took his car," Mabel told him, "I know exactly where he went. You like bikes?" Mabel suddenly asked him.

"Love them," Jace grinned. Mabel's beaming smile grew even wide, and she lifted a hand to point to her pink, shining bike. "Oh my god. That color is amazing."

"You... you really think so?" Mabel inquired, "not too girly or anything like that?"

"What's wrong with girly?" Jace retorted, and began to approach the bike. Mabel hopped on first, and handed him a pair of her sunglasses she had an extra of. As she slipped on her own safety helmet, she revved the engine with a kick, and spun the bike to the driveway.

"Hold on!" Mabel told him once, and off they went.

* * *

Dipper had the luxery of a quiet ride so far. Without Mabel talking about this or that, he could let his thoughts settle. Granted, he did miss the company, but having a ride to play ear to Mabel's strange dreams involving dancing pigs or llamas with scarves doing criminal acts was a tiring one.

Maybe he could let his mind rest for once.

"Hi Dipper!" a chipper voice suddenly piqued out from the back.

Dipper screamed, accidentally grabbing the wheel in his jump in his seat. The car swerved off his side of the road, and Dipper swerved again, just barely missing an oncoming truck. As the driver of the said truck cursed and yelled back at Dipper, who breathed heavily. He had not been the only one screaming when he saw the oncoming truck.

"What the-" he, still driving, whipped around to the side, and found a shaken Jessandra, hiding in the leg space by his seat. "Jessandra!?"

"Haa... Hi."

"What the heck- why are you- how did you-"

"I dropped this," she admitted, holding up a small necklace with a decorated charm hanging from a link. "When you came in, I... uh... didn't want to get in your way, but then you started the car, and I wasn't sure if you still wanted me to say anything, so I just-"

"You've been in my car the entire time," Dipper stated aloud, "and were hiding in the backseat without a seatbelt on?"

"Oh... sorry?" she asked, biting her lip, and looking very much in trouble. Dipper sighed, the panic of being startled from a car that he was supposedly alone in subsiding. At least it would explain why the door was open. His frown grew and morphed into a strained smile. He had to give her credit- she was sneaky.

"Well, you can come up here I guess," Dipper told her, squirming in his seat to regain a comfortable position.

"Are... are you sure?" she asked him, putting a hand on the shoulder of the supposed seat.

"Go for it dude," Dipper told her, reclining the seat slightly to give her some leverage. "Just climb over it."

Jess checked with him once more, but Dipper was too busy watching the road to see her grin as she lifted her feet over the back of the car seat and land her butt right in the middle, where the sound of pulled leather met her landing. Sliding a seatbelt into the slot, she looked back to him.

'I'm really sorry," she restated, "I just didn't want to annoy you."

"It's nothing," Dipper assured her, "you just freaked me out."

"And for the record, I think my brother is dumb," she told him firmly," your car is awesome, and it doesn't need bumper stickers."

Dipper laughed, shaking his head. So she had heard that little bit too he supposed. He gave her a glance. She was staring at him, a small smile on her face and played with a bang of hair next to her face.

"You could take off the hoodie if you'd like," Dipper told her as he started to enter town, woods becoming homes and residential spaces.

"I'm okay," she told him, "your air conditioner is nice."

"Really?" he asked again, "I know how hair feels when you got a hat on it for hours. You sure you don't want to take it off?"

She shifted her gaze away from him, and stared out the window. Some of the hopeful light was shaken away. Dipper was certain something was odd about it. Wearing a hoodie still? Even in the car going somewhere?

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks though," she said.

Dipper nodded and looked ahead.

So she liked him. Just using the sidelines of his vision, he could occasionally catch her peeking over to him, and then releasing a big sigh. Maybe she did want to say something important. Maybe she was just like him with Wendy- she wanted to say something truly nerve wracking and fear inducing but couldn't muster the courage. If that were the case, he didn't blame her. It was hard even now, when he was fifteen to tell anyone, let alone back when he was twelve.

"Hey, Jess," he asked her after a few moments, "how old are you? Your brother and you didn't say."

"I'm thirteen," she informed him simply, "and he's sixteen. How old are, uh, you, Dipper?"

"Fifteen," Dipper told her easily, and grinned with a plan, glancing to her again, "bet you can't guess Mabel's age."

"Uh... aren't you twins?" she asked. "So... fifteen?"

"And here I thought I could make you look silly for a second," Dipper groaned sarcastically, "smart as you look, aren't you?" Dipper said as he turned a corner with the car. Red flashed across her face and she sunk into her seat. Okay, if there had been doubt before, it was gone now. She was entirely smitten.

"So, uh, where are we going to anyway? I guess I'm just in for the ride," Jess cleared her throat and spoke to him again, "but I'm kind of curious. Where are we off to?"

"Town Hall," he told her, "I have something I need to look up."

"Oh? Like what?" she asked excitedly.

"I can't tell you."

"Huh? Why not?"

"It's an official mystery twin secret," Dipper told her with a grin, baiting a new trap once again, "so I can't tell you."

"Aww, c'mon Dipper," she whined, leaning on the armrest between them, "just a hint? Something?"

"Hmm... I don't know," Dipper shook his head, "it's sort of a code not to go spill secrets behind a twin's back."

Jess surprised Dipper with her reaction. Certainly she seemed disappointed, but stricken, or even hurt? It was like she had just realized something horrible she had done, and it only fueled Dipper's suspicion. He wouldn't mention her look though. He had to play this smart.

"So, I'll tell you what though," he told her, and she looked back to him from the windshield, "we can do a trade."

"... a secret trade?"

"Mmhmm. One secret for another."

"But you just said-"

"Giving one away without consent is one thing, Jess," Dipper told her with expertise as he drove down the main road, "but a trade means both parties gets something."

"I can't," Jess huffed and crossed her arms tightly, looking away.

Dipper sighed, keeping his eyes on the road. He was close to getting an answer out of her. He just needed a clue. Something small to tip him off that he could deduct to a solid piece of truth.

She wore a hoodie all day. That could make her a vampire, except her skin is very pale for a vampire, and he clearly remembers seeing their face hit sunlight at least once in the whole time he's seen them. They're not dirty, but they've been traveling was particularly odd.

How did one remain clean while traveling. Hiking was not a clean thing to do- bushes and trees and tripping into the dirt and rain all contributed to a mess on the persons fingernails or hair. The fact that they were clean meant only one of two possible things: they were not traveling at all and were from the town and had never met the twins, or they hadn't traveled by foot.

But if they hadn't hiked, why wouldn't they have not just retreated to their mode of transportation? It would have been easy enough, Dipper reasoned. Run into a car or bus or truck and floor the gas to get away from that crazy hunter guy. Jace was old enough to drive a car- maybe not entirely legally, like Dipper, but he could pass for a local. Then again, Dipper never remembered seeing a wallet from either of them, or a key ring.

What did stick out was his injured arm. Jace had his arm injured. Something about that seemed odd- it would hurt to drive, but he didn't need both arms to get away.

Unless they didn't have a car. Which meant they had to be some sort of locals. Maybe they had been hiding all this time, or they did recently move in.

Dipper could get an answer from this from the destination. But maybe he could squeeze a hint from her yet. Maybe he could risk a-

"So what are those blue glowy things in your room?" Jess suddenly asked.

_Uh... Oh. Oh! Wait, she saw those?!_ Dipper fumed in his head, his entire carefully and clearly thought out plan being shot down by a single sentence. He couldn't show it, any revealing of distress would tip her off; he knew she was clever.

"They're experiments Mabel and I have been working on," Dipper lied quickly, "glow-sticks that are light-absorbent so that you can reuse them."

"Oh. That's all they are?" she asked again, "Mabel didn't like it when I saw them."

"Nah, she wouldn't," Dipper nodded confidently, his mind freaking out as he struggled to keep a straight face, "she's the one who had the idea. See, she loves a wild party, so what better to invent for our parties only than re-useable glow-sticks? We're trying to keep it under wraps."

"... uh huh," Jessandra nodded slowly, eyeing Dipper further, "are you sure-"

"One second," Dipper told her, as he saw a car parking spot nearby town hall, and drove right for it. Once he had parked, and turned off the engine, he sighed, ready for his two cents on the matter. "Jess, I think we both know what's going on."

"Uh- uh- uh- I don't know what you're talking about," she spluttered, holding the neck of her sweater to hide her cheeks.

"Not that," Dipper rolled his eyes, certain she thought he was talking about her feelings, "our hidden secrets. C'mon, let's be honest for a second here." She blinked, and sat back up, unbuckling her seatbelt for comfort. "We're both hiding things from one another, but then expect to get an answer from the other person?"

She looked to him, blinking. She did nod slowly, and a puzzled expression crept over her face.

"So, let's make a promise now, okay?" Dipper asked her, "until one or the other is willing to be honest about something, we keep these secrets to ourselves. No more prodding for answers if we can't come into the light about it. Because trust me," Dipper shook his head as he looked to her, "you don't have a story half as clever as you think you do."

"What!? But it's, uh, true?" she tried, a portion of shame reading out of her.

"Like I said, no more guessing for secrets until we will talk about them," Dipper asked her, "deal?" he extended his hand to her. Jess took it with a slow shake, discouraged by his proposal. "Okay then. You want to come in? There isn't too much to do in there, but it probably sure beats sitting in a car without air conditioning with a hoodie on."

"... Yeah, I'll tag along," she told him.

The two exited the car, and headed for the marble building before them. Old, old fashioned and certainly D.C. inspired, the Gravity Falls town hall reminded Dipper of what the Goblins had used for their own government building. A few dirty columns were raised on the tops of the stairs that lead into the large building. It was six stories tall, and seemed only half as busy as the local mall.

Dipper grinned. The Library may not have all the answers, but this place probably did.

They climbed the stairs and passed Sherriff Blubs, who was carrying a large pile of tambourines to his car. Jess pointed the odd sight to Dipper, who just shrugged. Passing a few other business looking types, they entered the main lobby. Large and grand were characteristics that could be used to describe the inside, but also disorganized.

The main desk before them, managed by a sleeping woman with sunglasses on, had piles of papers collected long its rim, presenting a horrible collection of assignments the town needed doing, from fixing broken street lights to properly assigning street names. The two approached the woman. Sadly enough, this place was in such a state that Dipper wouldn't be surprised if the gap in the week was just due to a power outage and they never got back to it.

"Excuse me," Dipper called to the woman. She didn't stir from her leant back pose, her mouth open with a faint trail of drool coming from her lips. She may have been thirty, a skinnier woman with long dark hair. "Excuse me," Dipper tried again, louder. Without much of a warning, Jess kicked the desk loudly, and the woman gasped and shot up with a snort.

"Hey!" Jessandra shouted.

"Boss, I was just resting my eyes!" the woman claimed, adjusting herself and cleaning her face as she looked around.

"Nice," Dipper said quietly, offering her a fist to bump subtly, which she took gladly.

"Huh? Whu-" the woman had looked all around her, and finally spotted the two before her. "Oh. Uh... new work?"

"Excuse me?" Dipper blinked.

"Interns. You here for the new work? You can start by organizing all of this, and then taking it up to floor three to mister-"

"We're not interns. Does it even look like she can work here?" Dipper asked her, nodding to Jess, who shrugged.

"Oh... dang it. Well, what do you want?" the woman asked, looking around her desk for something, and found it; placing her nametag on her shirt, which read 'Mrs. E. Janice'.

"Well, Misses Janice," Dipper started, "I was hoping I could get the town records for population monitoring in the past three years. People moving in, moving out, birth records, all that cool stuff."

"Uh... you want demographic charts?" she asked him, an eyebrow raising past her sunglasses, "aren't you in high school? What're doing with demographics?"

"Summer school project. I start them early," Dipper told her easily, as it was a truth. Aside from these past two weeks, he had fully intended to get all his summer assignments done as soon as he was home. Of course, running off to send farewells to Grunkle Stan had changed a thing or two, but that wasn't something he could just have ignored.

"Huh... uh, well, okay then. I'll need a day to check this and print out a copy for you," she told him briskly, pulling her office chair to a paper-buried computer, and typed away, opening something before her eyes.

"What do you need this stuff for?" Jess asked quietly next to him, and he bent himself closer to her.

"What did we promise?"

"This is part of your secret?" she asked him, and he nodded. "Oh..." a struggle began to brew in her mind, easily visible to Dipper. Frustrated pouted lips were chewed and she closed her eyes and sighed. "Oh fine! Jace and I are not gypsies. We're looking for something."

"Oh yeah?" Dipper looked to her fully, "a specific something?"

"Yes. Your turn- what're you looking for?" she asked him as he turned back towards the desk. She hadn't said much about her purpose, but he figured it was enough to warrant a bit of his own side.

"A specific time and gap in town data a little less than three years ago," Dipper told her, "something that can tell me if anything weird is going on in this town- like if someone specific moved into this town."

"Oh... why?" She asked him, but nodded as he looked to her expectantly, "right, okay- only if I tell."

"If you give me a number," E. Janice said as she looked from the computer, adjusting her sunglasses with a sniff, "I'll contact you when we have it. You said this is for school, right?"

"Yes," Dipper nodded, "my cell phone will work, won't it?"

She nodded curtly and he bent forward. As Dipper told her the number, he could feel a tug on his vest. Looking to Jess, he noticed a worried look with her. She had turned around, staring out the door.

"Dipper," she said quieter than before, "I think we're being watched."

"There are security cameras, yeah," Dipper nodded as he pointed to the corners of the large room.

"No, outside," she pointed.

His vision followed hers. He could make out his car sitting by the street, alone save for Sherriff Blubs passing by, balancing his collection of instruments. Yet there was a feeling, a vibe of something. Dipper wasn't even sure what it was that made him feel so- there wasn't anything particularly wrong with the outside world. Even so, he knew his instincts to be a powerful ally. Ones he should trust.

"Okay, let's get going," Dipper said quietly to Jess, and as she nodded he looked back to the attendant behind the desk, "we're going to be going now. Thank you for the time."

"We'll let you know. Good luck on your project," she replied without a trace of enthusiasm as they left her.

The two headed out the doors. That feeling persisted- a sense of being stared down by an unknown overseer. Dipper didn't like it. It wasn't a friendly vibe. Somewhere, nearby someone was watching him.

He tugged on Jess's shoulder, and nodded towards the Sherriff, who was carefully stacking away his new collection into the trunk of his patrol car. Deputy Durland was assisting, making sure the metallic cymbals didn't hit one another for a quiet ride. It they walked around their car, they would be safer.

"Freeze!"

Dipper and Jess stared at the cops, who just looked back. They hadn't shouted it. The two teens slowly turned, and emerging from behind one of the columns was him. The Hunter. He was armed again, and directed that same double-barreled shotgun right at Jess. Dipper took a step between the two.

"Get away from her," the man growled, "she's mine."

"What do you want with her?" Dipper demanded.

"Hey, what's goin' on here?" Deputy Durland stepped up, his hand resting by the gun holster on his belt, "is there a problem-"

The feral look in the hunter's eyes twitched. Dipper ducked and grabbed Jess before it happened. Lucky for Durland, the hunter fired a warning shot just above his head, tossing his hat into the sky.

"She's mine to lead me, you hear?! It ain't for you, boy!" the man screamed as Dipper and Jess ran behind the police vehicle. Deputy Durland flung himself to the ground as his Sherriff readied a retaliation. Opening one of the side doors, he hide behind it as a shield.

"Put the weapon down, buddy," Blubs warned him as he raised his pistol.

The hunter laughed, raised his own shotgun, and shot at the door. The force behind the shot jolted the door back, smacking the dark skinned office with the glass window in his face, stunning him and knocking him to the ground.

"RUN!" Dipper yelled as the both turned and took off running down the road.

They needed to get off the street as soon as possible. He was in pursuit, loading in another pair of shells into his weapon, ignoring the panicked officers they left behind. Dipper's car was coming up, but it would take too long. He scolded himself for even considering the siblings being able to get away with car- by the time he would have sat down, his windshield would have been shattered.

"This way!" Dipper ducked behind an alley, pulling Jess with him. She gasped as she left the ground with his tug and landed next to him, continuing their run.

"Where are we going?" Jess demanded as they headed towards a wooden fence. Dipper cringed as he realized this was the same alley he had tried pinning the warlock a week ago.

"Over the fence!" Dipper shouted, getting just a tad bit ahead of her, and lowering his hands. Jess took the initiative perfectly- and leapt onto his hands and into the air. Dipper almost gasped- she flipped in mid air. Graceful didn't cover it. "Nice!" he told her, climbing after her quickly. As he dropped behind the fence, he spotted the hunter round the corner, and point his gun right for them. Without a warning, Dipper dived and tackled her.

A cluster round of buckshot blast through the wooden panels, soaring past the grounded teens.

"Ow, Dipper," Jess groaned, but she was quickly silence as he pulled her up and got her on her feet.

"Move!"

She nodded and the two took off into the woods. This would be their best bet for keeping him out of direct line of sight with his shotgun. At least to a certain degree. Dipper just worried if they kept going a certain way he would wind up with a worse creature of monster in their face.

"Just chasing you for because you stole something, huh?" Dipper called to her as they leapt over a fallen tree.

"W-what?" she gasped, checking behind her.

"You said he wanted something back from you, didn't you?" Dipper reminded her as they passed through a cluster of thick bushes, feeling the scrape and prod of branches and thin leaves. "He just said you were going to lead him to something."

"I- uh- he- he thinks we buried it?"

"Oh come on! You're not even trying!"

"Yes I am! I mean- uh- no! It's the truth?"

"Really!? You stole and buried something so important he was going to shot at a cop, and shoot through me to get to you?" Dipper barked at her, feeling the dirt beneath him kick into the air.

"You said we weren't going to talk any more about that stuff!" Jess shouted back, more startled that Dipper was raising his tone with her.

"Well I made that promise under the premise we wouldn't be running for our lives!"

"So?!" She scoffed.

"So it's a contextual promise!" He shouted to the trees. BOOM. Behind them the splitting of bark announcing the near miss the hunter had made. He was managing to keep up.

"So you're still not going to say what this is all about?" Dipper asked her, "so if he shoots me I was running away with a secret I won't ever know?"

"I made a promise, Dipper!" Jess shouted, "I made it to my family I can't talk about it!"

Dipper growled as he ducked under a branch. They needed help. Grunkle Stan could probably take this hunter guy out, if Dipper was shouting all the way to bring out a gun. But that wasn't just across town, that was across town directly behind him. An hour jog. Running, maybe thirty minutes. Mabel didn't have a phone, and even if she did, what instructions to get to him could Dipper provide? Turn right at the nearest redwood?

There was someone else who lived in the mountains though. Something else. And he was big and protective of his friend, Dipper Pines.

"Multi-bear," Dipper mumbled.

"Multi-what?"

"I know of someone who can get this guy off our tracks. It's that way," he pointed over her heard towards mountains and cliffs in the far distance to her left, "so turn whenever!"

Jess nodded and they both started an arcing turn through the trees, keeping their pace steady as they wove around the thick trunks of surrounding nature.

"Fine, you still don't trust me, huh?" Dipper glanced to her as they darted through trees, passing between one another.

"I never said that," Jess told him, "I just said that-"

Dipper growled loud enough to cut her off. Dang it. She was smart, capable, and he wanted trust between the two of them. If he had to extend the olive branch first, so be it. He just hoped it was enough for her to understand and cooperate with him.

"When Mabel and I came up to Gravity Falls we found those glowing rod things," Dipper began, furrowing his brow, "that are sitting in my bedroom. They conduct energy and electricity and can disperse it to the other nearby same-kind-of batteries. We weren't sure what to think of it until we accidentally zapped a girl in town, and she turned out to be a super-robot."

"... a super robot?" Jess asked, her eyes wide, drinking in each word, "like, she was powerful and stuff?"

"No, just super-advanced. Like an android or something from a movie. We only had two when we found her- the third came from her."

"Wow."

"Before we could get a chance to really figure out what was going on, she vanished for a night. When we found her again, she lost her memory of meeting us. I need to figure out what's going on before I go back home," Dipper finalized, "I don't just let up on something like this!"

"I can tell!" Jess laughed beside herself, smiling at Dipper with a rose like complexion. Dipper let himself grin a little bit. He knew that look she was giving him- the same one he had given to Wendy many times when he was younger. When he had been her age.

"By that crevice!" Dipper pointed by his side, where a rain-carved section of the forest opened a downward slope for them to run in. Dipper was certain it would lead to the mountain where his strange, mutant friend resided. Dipper had been through this area before- he was certain a cave from which werewolves resided was nearby. "As long as we get through this place fast enough, we should be safe. Come on!"

They started their running, rocks and pebbles tossed up behind them as they headed down the clay and dirt constructed natural path.

"Jace and I are protectors of a phoenix," Jess said suddenly, almost causing Dipper to trip over his feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah- a phoenix?" he required of her an answer as he looked behind him. "You... you're looking for the one that came by yesterday!"

"I thought it was weird your roof caught fire but nothing else did," Jess told him, and Dipper nodded with a snort. She really was clever. "My family line has always watched that bird in Canada- where it gets too cold for it to grow any larger, and so it can't die and release its ashes. It grows with heat, you see!"

"The ashes- that's what the hunter wants, isn't it?" Dipper asked, pulling out his journal as he ran, and flipping through his pages. Many pages zoomed by him, and Jess watched him scan them, "this journal mentions them a few times. Powerful life-granting properties."

"Not just life- it can cure ailments, break curses, you name it-"

BOOM.

The two ducked as buckshot flew past them, narrowly grazing Dipper's vest. The hunter had caught up.

"But how do you possibly know how to follow it? And you said you were from Canada? How did you even get here so fast!?" Dipper demanded as they turned a bend in the small canyon. "Oh... oh no."

Boulders and rocks had fallen onto this dirt path before them. The pile was high enough for them to crane their heads upwards. A mudslide must have caused this at some point.

"Damn it," Dipper swore, and turned to Jess, "jump up!" he told her indicating to the seven foot wall next to him.

"I'm not leaving you!" she shouted back, her eyes widening in fear, "he'll kill you!"

"I'm not going to die today," Dipper told her with a wink, "go!" he said, and without giving her a choice, he grabbed her arms and with surprising easy, tossed her above himself and onto the edge. Looking back to where he had come from, he began to holler. "HEY! HEY OVER HERE!" he stomped his feet and clapped his hands, making as much noise as he could.

"Dipper?"

"Shh," Dipper turned to her, "hide for now. Help me up when I say so," Dipper whispered to her, and then turned back to the way they had come. "HEY! WE GIVE UP! COME AND GET ME!"

The hunter arrived. Sliding to a stop, he eyed Dipper angrily. His gun at the ready, but not directed at Dipper yet. The teenager swallowed. He was brave and maybe reckless, but he wasn't dumb. He really could be shot now.

"Where is she, boy?" he asked Dipper with a sniff.

"Oh you know, she just flew away into the air," Dipper said loudly, hoping his voice would echo loudly around. "Gone forever."

"She... dang it!" the hunter swore loudly, kicking a large rock to his side with his boot. "Dang it boy! You let her go!?"

"I... yeah," Dipper blinked. He had intended his flying comment as a joke, but he took it seriously. What was with that? She didn't have wings. Even if she did, he would have noticed- entire wings popping out of her shoulders would have been hard to hide. "You know... just 'whoosh' and she's gone. Look sir, I need to let you know: we're in danger now."

"HA!" the hunter barked at Dipper, patting his shotgun, "you're in danger, buster. Now here's how this is gonna work: you come with me, we get her brother, and we get her back, and you don't get shot up. Sounds good for you?"

"Sir, I made loud noises for a reason-" Dipper began before being cut off.

"I said," the man adjusted his gun, pointing it at Dipper's feet, "you're coming with me."

"Okay, I will. But you need to understand, there's were-"

BOOM.

The sound echoed upwards towards the trees and closer by dark mountains.

A large section of dirt had been blown away by the teenagers feet. Dipper stumbled back, gasping and holding his almost lost foot with a hand. Sweat was forming by his forehead. Brave or not, he wasn't looking forward to a trip to his maker today.

"Let's try this one... more... time," the hunter sneered as he aimed the shotgun right at Dipper's head, "you're coming with-"

A dark call rumbled through the air. Both men paused in their struggle of wills, looking to the sky for an answer. It was a howl.

Then there was another howl. And another howl. More terrible howls with deadly intent and vicious predatory instinct filled the air. The hunter stepped back slightly, lowering his gun from it's steady aim at the teenager. "Wolves?" he asked aloud, "why're they howling in the daytime?"

"Because they're not wolves," Dipper said to him, shaking.

His plan hadn't been stupid; it had been dangerous and reckless.

Above them, emerging from the trees were fur covered beasts, running towards them on their four legs, but large in the shoulders and with large eyes and long snouts. Long pointed ears rose from the back of their skulls as they snarled and snapped at the air as they charged towards the crevice. True, genuine, scary, blood-hungry werewolves were prowling for them.

"Jess!" Dipper shouted. No sooner had Jess lunged over the edge and helped Dipper up than the hunter turned tail and fled, shouting for his life as a trail of angry wolves dived into the crevice and chased after him. Dipper and Jess stepped back, hoping they wouldn't draw attention.

They were not ignored.

Several larger werewolves leapt right over the large crevice, and a new run begin. Taking her lead, Dipper turned and fled with Jessica as soon as he saw them leap over the gap. Unlike the hunter, these werewolves would not be reasoned with. They were entirely feral, and no longer could transform back to a human state. There was nothing they could do now but run.

"What did he mean when he thought you could fly away?" Dipper shouted as they ran along side the crevice.

"He's... he's crazy!" Jess stammered as she glanced behind her, the beasts gaining on them. "I don't know what he's talking about!"

"Jess-"

"I'll tell you when we get away! I swear!"

Dipper nodded as they continued their escape. Nothing slowed down the darkly predators as they lunged over logs, ducked under thick branches, over bushes and past thorny plants. Dipper saw the mountain that homed the Multi-bear looming closer. He had never seen it from this angle, but it wouldn't matter. As soon as they started climbing the side, as he had done a week ago, they would have an ally even the strongest werewolves behind them could not stop.

Only a cliff appeared before them, breaking off their direct course.

"DAMN!" Dipper shouted as he saw the huge drop was not only something they could not leap over, but as they got closer and closer, it simply seemed to grow deeper and deeper. Another unexplored Gravity Falls natural wonder.

"Dipper," Jess called next to him as they continued to run forward, "you trust me, right?"

"Yes," he nodded as he looked to her, checking her eyes for one last time. She no longer had a doubt in them.

"Okay," she gasped as she, still running, tore off her hoodie and threw it behind her. Dipper gasped as one of the werewolves actually caught its legs in the cloth, tearing it apart but also slipping and falling to its side. "Then trust me!" Jessandra shouted as she grasped his hand.

Dipper's eyes widened, only looking forward. He didn't even see her now, only the approaching edge. She wasn't about to do some clever stunt- he felt the pull. They were going off the edge with one-hundred percent intent to plunge down to the bottom. Dipper screamed as he and the younger girl leapt into the air.

She was no longer next to him. Dipper saw the world slow, and, staring below him, wondered how long it would take for him to hit the bottom. Maybe a few seconds. It wouldn't hurt, at least.

The there was a tug as something wrapped itself around his shoulders, tucking itself into his armpits tightly. Now... he wasn't falling anymore.

"Come on!" Jessandra's voice begged, straining and groaning. Dipper slowly looked up.

"Jess... your ears-"

Her ears had very long brown and gold feathers protruding from its top and sides, tracing down to back of her neck. Her arms were held aloft to the sides, and her entire length was covered in huge, long, and beautiful feathers of similar color. They shot out past her hands like trails of color, drifting in the air. The gold shimmered in the light as she passed between his sight and the sun.

"You're... you're a harpy," Dipper gasped.

A gust of wind rushed underneath them, and Dipper yelped. He felt the sudden pull of flight below him. Jessandra's huge feathers caught the updraft and carried him, along with herself, into the sky.

"Dipper, are you okay?" Jessandra asked from above him as they exited the canyon, soaring above the tree tops. "Dipper?" she added with a worried tone when he said nothing.

He had just escaped death with his skin on its teeth. Werewolves were now a distant memory, along with that mad, dangerous hunter. Before him was a vast wilderness of trees, mountains, cliffs and rivers. The beautiful landscape that surrounded Gravity Falls struck him.

What could he say?

"You did it!" Dipper cheered, trying to pat her legs, but finding her pinning herself against him made his arms immobile. "That was incredible!"

"You... you really think so?" she asked, her flight slowly taking her down, towards the town.

"Yes! Oh man, this is awesome! Mabel is going to be so excited to know we're friends with Harpies!" he shouted to her as they closed in on the town, "hey, land over there. We don't want everyone to see your, uh, special qualities."

She followed his direction, and landed behind a bar on the outskirts of the downtown region of Gravity Falls. Letting go of Dipper first, she flapped her arms easily and dropped next to him. Dipper was in awe as he watched her feathers slowly fold and retract into the outside of her arm.

"That's so cool," he couldn't help but admit, which he felt slightly ashamed for as soon as she blushed. "Sorry, I don't want to make you feel weird or anything."

"It's okay," she shrugged. "I need something to cover this up," she pointed to her ears and head, where the protrusion of feathers hadn't retracted.

"Hm... you're right," Dipper smiled and plucked off his head his own hat, and put it on her head, "that looks better, doesn't it?"

Words failed the young harpy for a few moments. She, holding the neck of her t-shirt, was looking to the ground. Had Dipper struck her with something mean? He hadn't meant to- it just seemed like the right thing to do- she had just saved his life.

"Uh, it's okay, I know it's kind of a crummy hat," Dipper apologized and scratched his hair, "I can take it back if you-"

"It's not crummy!" she defended, holding it onto her blond hair under the cap, "I... I just feel bad for you giving it away."

"It's just a hat, Jess," Dipper shrugged, "it's almost too small for me anyway. I think," he reached around her, adjusting the fastener on the other side, "it will fit you perfectly."

"You think?" she asked with a growing shy smile.

"Absolutely," Dipper grinned back. "Now come on, let's get back to the car."

"Bu-bu-but what if people in town see me!?"

"People in town see weird stuff all the time. A girl with feathers being lead around by me isn't something a lot of people will look twice at," Dipper told her, "you just have to act like its nothing."

"Uh... okay," Jess nodded, "can... can I hold your hand when we're going back?"

"... I don't see why not," Dipper told her.

The two grabbed hold and started their walk out. Dipper ruffled his head and wondered if he was going to get a cap or not- he had always wondered if a beanie would do him well. Maybe he could get a small fedora? Then it reminded him of a certain triangle he once knew. Forget the fedora.

"DIPPER!"

A pink motorcycle ridden by a wild looking frizzled brunette and a shaken but smiling hooded man pulled up before them. "DIPPER! There you are, we need to talk! Jace and Jessandra need to tell us something super-cool!"

"Wait, is Jess without her sweater?" Jace lifted his sunglasses, and Mabel was prompted to do the same. The two gasped: without the dark glasses they saw the truth. "JESS! He can see you! The _weird_ part of you!"

"I know. My hoodie got eaten by wild werewolves," Jess groaned, "I kind of miss it."

"By wild- wait... what?" Jace shook his head quickly as if an ball bounced around inside his skull. "Werewolves?!"

"Isn't that your hat?" Mabel asked to her brother, pointing to Jess's head.

Many promises of explanation were made, and the four managed to get back Dipper and Jess to his car, and briskly return to the Mystery Manor. It was in the return that the discovery had been made about how each of them, in their own way, had broken their promises of secrecy. Far from the visitors entrance, the four chatted.

"Lame, Mabel," Dipper scolded his sister, the last person to admit fault in the massive web of secrecy that had been made, in particular for not telling him about the two.

"I know, but they were so scared, and I didn't want-"

"We weren't scared," Jess assured them, "I was scared when fifteen werewolves were going to eat us. I was nervous with you and Dipper."

"Fine. Nervous," Mabel looked back to her brother and quoted the source directly, "I couldn't get them all down when they looked so helpless."

"Yeah, okay. I just wish we had a chance to meet on better terms," Dipper admitted as he scratched his head, feeling naked without his cap. "Really would have liked to have more a chance to know you guys."

"Yeah!" Jess exclaimed a little loudly, and shrunk slightly, "sorry. I just really agree."

"Keep it toned down, girl," Jace patted her head as he stood up from sitting next to Mabel. "We can stay in touch. We don't carry phones, but we can write to you from where ever we are when we're traveling."

"Sounds good to me," Dipper said.

"Wait," Mabel leapt up too, being the last one sitting, "you're leaving now?"

"We have a creature that can fly at the speed of sound to catch. It's not an easy job," Jace admitted, lowering his hood and lifting the sweater above his head, exposing his bright colorful arrangement, "but as long as we don't frighten him, we should be okay trying to catch it."

"Wow," Dipper sighed, staring at the feathers.

"But- but Jaaaace," Jessandra whined to her brother.

"We need to be going. Mom and dad will kill us if they found out we let anyone else know about this- but they'll pluck us naked if we let it get away! Imagine how big It will get if we let it go all the way to the equator!" Jace told her with warning.

"I... I know," Jess nodded solemnly.

"How do you two track it, anyway?" The siblings glanced to one another. From under their shirts they revealed a metal charm on a necklace. Inside the charm seemed to be a small chipping of some material- a nail or talon.

"This glows red when we're near. It kind of lets us know if we're _hot_ on its trail," Jace leaned over to Mabel, who snorted and pushed his face away with a laugh.

"You're dumb," Jess rolled her eyes as her brother and Mabel laughed together.

"No, you."

"Oh, great comeback, bro. Just make sure to mail that one in, people need to hear about it-"

"Oh shut up, dude," Jace smacked his sister's head, which caused her to squeal angrily and claw at him, climbing onto his back again quickly and pulling on the feathers on his back. "OW! No fair!" Jace yelled as she attacked him.

"Man... do they really need to go?" Mabel asked her brother, who sighed.

He didn't want to admit it, but yes, they did. These two made it rather easy to talk to someone here. Granted, it took an entire day together to learn their secrets, but when Dipper considered how many people he knew, and how many of those people knew the things he did, the fact these two harpies had been able to exchange deeply hidden facts was miraculous.

"I think so, Mabel," Dipper told her with a pat to her shoulder. "We've kept them long enough."

"Getting beaten up by your younger sister," Jessandra stuck her tongue out at Jace, who had just removed her from the assault, but not before losing a few of his colorful feathers. One drifted into the air and Mabel gently caught it. "Oh no," Jessandra spotted Mabel's face grow pink as she looked to the pride-wounded teen.

"Oh no," Dipper mimed as she took two deliberate strides over and landed a kiss against his lips.

"Mabel!"

"Jace!"

The two siblings shouted at their inappropriate scene, as Mabel broke apart from the kiss, beaming.

"Ha! There we go," Mabel grinned to her recipient. To her shock, Jace was still... in shock. "Jace? Did... did you not like it?"

"Uh... I don't- uh-"

"Mabel," Jess piped up while next to Dipper, "Jace is gay."

"What?" Dipper gasped.

"He is!?" Mabel moaned in shame.

"I am?!" Jace demanded. The three turned to look at the feathered teenager. "What? That was my first kiss! I don't know how they do it in high school, but we don't kiss that often when you're taught at home!"

"Are you really gay? And we've been flirting all this time?" Mabel asked sadly, all the hopes of a new, exotic boyfriend washing away like a tidal force of sadness.

"I... uh... I don't know," Jace admitted, "I'm sorry Mabel! JESS!" he rounded on his sister, fire in his eye, "How come you never told me!?"

"Bro... you always played barbies with me when I was eight," she told him.

"Well, you were eight, Jess-"

"I never wanted to play barbies!" she elaborated in force. Jace spluttered and looked between the three of them.

"But... uh... okay..." Jace looked back to Mabel. Without as much as a single warning, he bent to her and kissed her on the lips as she had done. Dipper and Jess groaned again and the two broke. Frowning, Jace turned away, and before Dipper knew what was coming, he too was kissed on the lips.

"OH-" Dipper bent away as he was wiping his mouth, spluttering all over the place, "DUDE!"

"JAAAACE!" Jessandra's boiling red face called for execution of her brother.

Jace wasn't listening to the protesting man or his sister. Instead, a dawning realization was emerging into his mind, shining out his eyes as clearly as a rising sun. He straightened himself up, and stretched his neck.

"Okay. I guess I'm gay," Jace shrugged to Mabel, who nodded back sadly, "hey, we can still be friends though, right?"

"I suppose a little one-sided crush can't hurt," Mabel told Jace, and the two hugged.

At his sisters words, Dipper looked to Jessandra. She seemed shaken by her words, and picked at the hat's rim. Then she noticed his look, and lowered the brim to cover her eyes. Maybe this was the time to let people know now of the impossible. Dipper considered telling her, leading her aside and talking to her about how he understands, and knows where she's coming from. It may be easier that way on her.

"Hey, Jess," Dipper found words from his straining brain, but he was beaten to the punch.

"We should go," Jace broke from the hug, and tapped his sister's shoulder.

"I know," Jess nodded and followed his path, heading towards the backyard, which lead towards the infamous bottomless pit and branched out into the forest.

"Jess," Dipper called out a bit stronger.

"Well guys," Jace turned while walking way, moving backwards, "I don't know if we'll see each other again, but we'll mail you, okay? Postcards! Mail us back if you change homes, okay?"

With a flap of his arms after he tied his sweater to his waist, his great long feathers emerged out, and he lifted into the sky, blowing air and dust off the ground. As he took to the wind, Jess turned around once to the twins.

"We'll see you guys later!" she smiled, and stared at Dipper for a second. "Yes?" she finally answered. There was so much hope, so much excitement and youth behind her gaze.

"Uh... be safe, okay?" Dipper told her with a sad smile.

The young girl beamed and jumped high into the air with a whip of her arms. Rocketing away, the two siblings soared away, leaving behind the human twins. Mabel called and cheered, jumping on her feet as one of the few amicable creatures they had ever met vanished over the horizon.

"Dipper," Mabel said to her brother, "you know... Jess totally has a crush on you."

"I know."

"What?!" Mabel gasped, "she told you? Wait, did you get better at this?!" Mabel gasped again, "you figured it out on your own!?"

"Wendy told me," Dipper admitted sadly.

"Oh... oh, well... if that's the case, why didn't you say anything to her?"

"Like what?" Dipper asked his twin.

"Like... well... like... uh- you know!" Mabel nodded, hoping her lack of an answer solved his need for an answer. Dipper glared at his scatter brained sister, and she relented. "Okay, I don't know."

"I wanted to tell her that I'm too old for her," Dipper admitted, staring into the sky. "If we do meet each other again, it's not like I'll have changed my mind."

"No, I guess not," Mabel agreed, leaning on her sunken feeling brother, "but... maybe it's better if she thinks she has a chance for now."

"... really?" Dipper asked with a trying look.

"I don't know. Hope can be nice to have when your crush is older than you, right?" Mabel told her brother simply. "Like, would you and Wendy still be friends if the second she got the vibe you liked her, she had flat out told you no?"

Dipper was certain he had a response. A good, certain reply to assure himself and her that the two of them would have been friends, certainly. That reply never came. He stood there, his mouth open, hoping for a word to answer for him.

"Maybe... maybe not. I don't know."

"So, maybe now you can work on being friends with her first," Mabel suggested. Dipper sighed. "C'mon bro. We can go chill with Soos and Wendy inside. Oh- we still need to go to City Hall to-"

"I'll be inside in a bit, okay?" Dipper told her.

He wanted to be alone for now. Mabel understood his meaning, and nodded, leaving him outside as she headed for the side door.

Mabel wasn't wrong; Dipper and Jessandra could easily be friends. They thought similarly, acted similarly, and heck, dressed similarly. There was a weight that tugged inside his stomach. Inside his heart.

Dipper expected Jess to understand that he was too old for her. That they should just be friends, and come to understand that. Everything he wanted from her, a plutonic understanding of one another, was everything he didn't want with Wendy. Even his approach, to become friends and then break the news of his knowledge later, was a repeat of Wendy's tactics. It made him mad at himself; he knew that hadn't worked. Case and point: he had a renewed crush on the redhead again- a ridiculous and well kept secret crush.

A painful one.

Knowing how all of this felt, how was it fair of Dipper to ask any of this to Jessandra? Dipper leaned against the wall of the Mystery Manor, his eyes gazing high into the very horizon he had watched his new-found friends vanished to.

* * *

EARLY UPDATE! Truly December is the time of sharing, caring, and gifts! You know why?! Because starting now, each Friday AND Sunday of December will have an update for RtGF! I'm insane!

The reasoning for the extra content is simple- I need to get Season One done ASAP- by the end of December. So before December rolls around to its closing days, we should have a final episode conclusion under the belt. That's right guys, we're almost done with the first season.

So, a bit of a teaser for next chapter, for Sunday:

It's dungeons and dragons.

That is all. ;)

I've been excited to write this chapter for about as long as I realized I was going to write this story, so it's going to be a BLAST. The next two days will vanish because of how fast I'll be churning out this chapter. Fights, magic, rolling dice, and roleplay are coming soon... to your screens!

Speaking of rolling a dice, lets roll for initiative... (EZB pulls out a pair of twenty-D and gives them a shake before dropping them on the desk. They land on two ones.) Ohhhh crud. (Just about every monster known to the DnD universe swarms out of no where and pummels, smashes, devours, burns, and otherwise slays EZB)

* * *

**Vsuhdg brxu zlqjv dqg vrdu wrjhwkhu, lqwr wkh iuljkwhqlqj ixwxuh; iru oryh lv d vfdub wklqj.**


	16. Strongholds and Serpents: Part 1

It was the day. Hopefully at least.

This could be the day where Dipper and Mabel finally understood what was really going on here. What was going on in Gravity Falls. After a solid two weeks without a real clue, on the thirteenth day Dipper was about to be called into town hall to receive the demographic data of the town. Finally he would understand, if they were lucky, what was going on. All the twins needed was a name of a person, a company, or event that could have triggered this all. Something.

A lot was riding on this call. All Dipper had done this day was sit on his bed, cross legged, while staring at his phone. It was still morning and all he hadn't even gotten up to eat.

"Dippeerrrrr," Mabel groaned as she did the sixth handstand in a row, bored from sitting around, "c'mon bro, we can totally do something else if we just keep the phone with you. We're sitting around like a bunch of goobers protesting."

"I just want to be there when they call. They said it would be today," Dipper reminded her, "so, I'm just going to play it safe."

"Uggghhh," Mabel landed back, her body bouncing off the springs of her bed noisily as she snarled at the ceiling, "dude, c'mon."

"Mabel, this isn't just our last day, this is our real last chance!"

"We don't know that," Mabel stated strongly, "for all we know this could be one of those things that does take years or whatever to solve."

"Don't say that," Dipper huffed, his eyes flicking between her and the phone nervously, "I'll go full on crazy if this is going to be one of those things that sits by my desk and taunts me ever time I get up for school. Like 'oh, ha-ha, you couldn't get us solved! what a loser!'."

"Well, aside from being a loser," Mabel sneered at her brother, who tossed a pillow at her and she blocked it with great reflexes, "I'm sure there's something we can do for a bit while we wait for the word."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Is there anything we should have at the ready? Pencils and things?" Mabel scratched her head as she tossed the pillow back to Dipper, who was not paying attention until the white case smacked his nose. "Heh, dweeb."

"Shut up," Dipper glared back at her, containing his smile to a minimum. "Fine, you want to collect pencils for this? Be my guest-"

"You know what I mean," Mabel told him as she scooted her legs over the side of the bed, "maps, pens and pencils, extra papers, those sort of stuff. What if we not only can solve it, but if something bad is happening, we have a chance to fix it? Isn't that worth just getting up for a bit to look around?"

The male twin stared to his counterpart. Her argument was a solid one. It wasn't just going to be a solve and step away mystery. Dipper had a feeling this had something more in it than just a single robot girl who was wandering through town. He and Mabel may have something crazy coming up soon.

"Well... okay," Dipper relented and scooped his phone up and slid it into a pocket. Mabel cheered as she bounded up with her brother.

"Yes! Active involvement wins again!" Mabel roared to the ceiling as she spun around in circles, "okay, I'll go look for supplies, and you find some maps!"

"Okay- just standard supplies though!" Dipper warned her as they left their room together, Mabel bouncing down the stairs in excitement. Dipper followed, and followed his sister into the gift shop, where, as always, two figures awaited, one by the wooden counter, the other cleaning the floor, humming to himself.

"Hey guys," Mabel waved to both as she bounded in, skipping off her feet.

"Hi Mabel, hi Dipper" Wendy stated from behind her magazine.

"Yo hambone," Soos said happily as he reached under a clothing rack with his broom for dust, "whut-up my man?" Soos added when the more quiet Dipper strolled in, looking around the gift shop.

"We're gathering supplies," Mabel answered for her pensive brother. "We're about to crack down on the mystery that's been keeping us here!"

"Huh?" Wendy peeled away 'Teenage Ignoring Techniques: Summer Work Edition' from her face, "wait, the one with the blue thingies?"

"At least we hope so," Dipper acknowledged, "we don't technically have any solid proof that we will, but with some data that the Gravity Falls city council is going to give us, we may be able to pinpoint what the heck is going on."

"Wow," Soos adjusted his had as he looked to Dipper, "that's some crazy data."

"Dipper was staring at his phone for an hour upstairs," Mabel sighed loudly, "and wouldn't budge until I could convince him that we should get stuff ready for the mission."

"Stuff, huh?" Wendy put a hand to her chin, visibly in thought. "You know, I may have a few things that could help."

"You- you would?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah man, I keep some stuff with me just in case," Wendy pulled up her pack, and undid the main pocket. Indeed, inside were a collection of compasses, a scale, a ruler, and a few markers.

"Awesome!" Mabel cheered. "Now all we need are some maps."

"Soos, you know where the maps are that Stan keeps, right?" Wendy checked with her coworker.

"Uh, not really," Soos admitted, picking uncomfortably at the end of his broom. "I mean, it's not something I'm supposed to just go get."

"That's fine," Dipper told his friend, "I can get them from him. Hey... you know," Dipper stopped half way from turning, and coming to a realization with the investigation, "we could totally use some help with this. Wendy, Soos, do you want in on this all?"

"You kidding me?" Wendy quickly bounded off her stool, "I'm in so much you can't even handle me!"

"I... I don't think Mister Pines will mind if I help. Yeah dude!" Soos nodded as well," count me in!"

"THE POSSE IS ASSEMBLED!" Mabel roared with gusto, pointing a finger dramatically skyward.

"Head to the room, we can prepare and label a map when I get them. I'll be up in a minute I think," Dipper told them as he turned towards the kitchen, where he had heard the groaning reply to Mabel's screams.

"ONWARD, FELLOW SOLIDERS!" Mabel declared as she galloped to the stairs, followed by a laughing redhead and an excited man-child. As Dipper rounded the corner to the kitchen, he found his grand uncle sitting by the table, staring out the window with bloodshot eyes, wearing his usual morning garb, stained boxers and a rough undershirt.

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper called from the doorway, peeking his head just a tad through the kitchen doorway, "do you have maps lying around anywhere?"

"Yeah. In the closet by my room. Go knock yourself out- but you touch anything in there you clean it!" Grunkle Stan grumpily nodded his head towards the hallway.

"Thanks!"

Dipper turned away and rushed for the closet. All he needed was three maps- one of Oregon, one of the region, and then one of Gravity Falls. If the closet contained those three specific map types, he would more than good to go. With the journal in tow, there wouldn't be any secret left untouched for them to miss.

The closet door swung open and Dipper groaned. Grunkle Stan knew exactly what kind of state this closet was in when he told him to clean it if he touched it. It was a wreck. Cardboard boxes and wooden crates and broken brooms and plenty of small miscellaneous things scattered the innards of the tiny room. It must have become Grunkle Stans personal dumping ground.

With a contained groan, Dipper began to lift and sort through the unmanaged supplies scattered around the closet. Broken brooms, several old Lil' Gideon memorabilia, a few cease and desist letters, nothing that didn't shock Dipper about his Grand Uncle. Then he saw the maps. Finally. Grabbing the collection of hastily rolled up maps, a cloud of dust struck his nose.

A powerful, yet strangely feminine sneeze erupted from Dipper. He bent forward and banged his knee into a box. It was the catalyst that would lead to exactly what he didn't want- an avalanche of boxes and dusty objects spilling into the hall.

"Clean it up!" Grunkle Stan called from the kitchen, just as Dipper was preparing to tip-toe away from the scene of the crime.

"Okay, okay!" Dipper waved a hand through the air, coughing what inhaled dust he had managed to store in his lungs.

It felt like each thing he lifted up from the pile allowed something else to fall into its place. If a box was lifted, a crate fell into its place. If that crate was lifted, an ugly portrait of a clown fell there. If that creepy clown picture was tossed aside, a vintage game box fell into its place.

"Whoa, whoa," Dipper stalled throwing aside the clown painting so hastily. Eyeing what had just appeared before him, he lowered the weird painting slowly and looked to what was lurking in a closet all this time.

It was first edition. He lifted it with his fingers and blew the dust away from him with a puff. There were inside pieces still intact. The teenager's excitement grew stronger. Then he peeled back the box cover, and his eyes grew so wide he could have been looking at diamonds coated in gold.

To him it was better.

He closed the box, grabbed the maps next to him, and he abandoned the mess. It would be worth to share his excitement now if later Grunkle Stan shouted at him for not cleaning like he said.

His feet rushed up the stairs, too fast to make much noise, and thus his exit was hasty and quiet. He would be sharing this amazing discovery with his friends and sister at any moment. There was his door, and with a few long strides, he opened it, stepped in and closed it behind him with a shut. Soos sat on the floor by Mabel's bed and Wendy by Dipper's as the twin sister bounced on her own bed.

"You think if you hooked them up to a toy car it would run?" Soos asked, holding one of the blue cylinders to his eyes.

"What if that came to life too?" Mabel asked, and then noticed Dipper, "about time, slowpoke."

"Like it animates stuff," Wendy added as Soos and he exchanged a pat with their knuckles, "or maybe it just mechanizes things. Super-crazy."

"Dipper?" Mabel asked as Dipper remained rooted in his spot. The other two turned and stared at him. He stood perfectly upright with exception to his head- crooked down and staring to a box that he held between his hands. The maps fell to the floor and rolled away, entirely unnoticed by Dipper.

"First edition... collectors set... comes with pieces," Dipper was murmuring just loud enough for the others to catch the occasional word. Trance like was the closest thing they could think as he slowly stepped forward, raising the box higher and higher, "the greatest gift the world of nerds has ever been gifted, the test of a dork, the courage of geeks, the greatest game someone with imagination can have!"

"Blockcraft?" Soos asked. Dipper shook his head like he were in a dream, distant and blissful.

"Strongholds and Serpents."

Dipper said this as he fell to his knees before Soos, Wendy, and Mabel; who had just left the bed and come to complete the circle. The box was impressive, but dated. The cover image was a great classic drawing of four figures, a swordsman with a shield in full armor, a wizard with a staff, an elf with a bow, and a dwarf with a large battle hammer, all circled around a dangerous and scary looking horned serpent. All their attention was focused on the beast, and they seemed to be standing on piles of gold, treasure and embroidered weaponry.

"Whoa," Soos said in a slow release of breath, "where was this dude?"

"What is it?" Wendy and Mabel both asked. Soos and Dipper responded as if their question was a heretical statement punishable by death: both spluttered and re-phrased their question.

"It's the single greatest game to ever be made," Dipper rushed out of his mouth, "it's revered as one of the most complex and life-changing games that basement dwellers can enjoy!"

"Basement dwellers?" Mabel repeated.

"To play the game is to live another life, to experience things you could never in your own, to be great and ignore the pathetic sad soulless existence you currently have," Soos told them with excitement.

"Sad soulless existence?" Wendy also repeated, sounding a little hurt at the comment.

"We need to play!" Dipper removed the cover and began to remove pieces and papers and all manners of tools.

"Whoa, whoa, I never played games like, uh, whatever that is," Wendy pointed to a series of small figurines on flat circle stands, "okay, but that dude with the axes looks awesome."

"Dipper, you can't get girls to do nerdy stuff like this," Mabel told his brother as a statement of life that everyone already knew, "c'mon bro. This sort of thing is better for your school friends."

"I got into this in freshmen year," Dipper started, "and there were girls playing!"

"I bet nerd-girls," Mabel snickered.

"Like you care," Dipper eyed her critically.

"Not one bit," Mabel defended her honor as a unbiased lover of all walks of life.

"Prove it then," Dipper told her, sliding over a robed woman with a staff over to her, "join the game." Mabel eyed the small object, lifting it up to her eyes, and then eyed dipper.

"Only if Wendy joins," Mabel pointed out, "I need another woman to agree with me if stupid boys only stuff happens."

"What does that even- okay," Dipper turned to the Redhead, who was puzzling and looking at the figure of the axe-warrior, "what do you say Wendy?" she looked to him, tossing the figurine in the air playfully. "You want to give it a shot?" he asked, trying to remain calm as he prayed he had a chance to play this game with his crush.

"...well, how does the whole game work?" Wendy eyed the multitude of pages and papers that lay by Dipper's knees. "It kind of looks like there are a lot of rules."

"There are- but," Dipper cut Wendy and Mabel short of their expected sighs, "you won't have to worry about that. I'll be the Stronghold lord, which is sort of like the referee. I help dictate the game and tell the story, and I'll let you know when you can't do something."

"Uh... okay?" Wendy smiled and shrugged, "sure. I'm in."

"Yes!" Dipper cheered loudly, and felt his heart race, reminding him of his need for secrecy, "ah, okay. So, here are character sheets," Dipper folded through the papers and handed out three pages, "follow the instructions and use a dice... here," he handed a pair of twenty sided dice to each of them, "you roll to create your stat choices."

"What?" Mabel whined, holding the dice in her palm like they might have been diseased and toxic looking spiders, "what does any of that mean?"

The process of explaining to Mabel and Wendy was a slow start. As each numeric value to their characters was decided by a roll of a pair of dice, there was a lot of complaining and whining for low scores. But as soon as Dipper introduced the concept of perks- abilities characters could choose based on status advantage or disadvantage, they were more interested.

As the four sat around, comparing notes and ideas, Dipper wrote a story. It would be a repeat from the one he had in school, a story of a tri-fold of kingdoms about to collapse into war. The heroes would be walking through the most trying time of the kingdoms before all out bloodshed came to pass. It would be up to the heroes to decide who would come to stand triumphant and lead the new kingdom- the Human kingdom, the Orc Kingdom, or the rebels society. Dipper would be easy on them. Unless they really tested his patience without cause, he would make sure they enjoyed their time.

"Okay, so, are we ready to begin?" Dipper asked around as he had set up his little crude world maps, back stories, and several battle maps for the actual fight encounters he was going to go through. The three nodded. "So, since I am Stronghold Lord, I can't play. But I will be telling you guys what's happening. You guys read the rules right?"

"Yeah dawg."

"Sure did dude."

"Not one bit Dippingsauce."

"Two out of three isn't bad," Dipper shrugged, perfectly content with his sister blowing over the rules, like usual. "So, let's begin."

Dipper cleared his throat, and adopted a mysterious appearance, eyes half way between menacing and understanding.

"It is the fourth Era of Nudolin, land of the far north. Summer is upon the Kingdom of Nith, the great human lands that dominate the northern continent. However, rumor spreads that the Orc king Geklar is preparing for war, for the forces of the Nith have tormented and abused the once great kinship of the Orcs to the point of greater conflict. The King of Nith, known as Herlis, is a cruel man."

"Three adventurers from distant lands approach one another on an empty road, uncertain of their futures or their goals, but ready to explore and discover the future for their wealth, their spirit, or their honor. Great adventurers, please introduce yourselves on the road," Dipper nodded to Soos, "It would be rude to walk along the road at the same time without knowing one another."

"Oh, me, huh?" Soos asked Dipper, who sighed and nodded. "Well, I'm Soos, of Mission Soos."

"You named your character Soos?" Dipper inquired.

"Yeah dude. I mean, I didn't know what else to name him, so I just went with that," Soos told Dipper, growing worried, "I didn't mess anything up, did I?"

"No, it's okay," Dipper assured him with a pat on the shoulder, "anyway, keep introducing yourself."

"Oh. I'm a, uh, Paladin, with a focus on repairing mechanical stuff. I wear a lot of heavy armor and stuff. Pretty awesome."

"He also has a tower shield and a 'spear that's sharp end looks like a wrench'," Dipper told the others when Soos failed to mention his war tools, "huh. Okay. Who next?"

"I'll go, sure," Wendy nodded, "So, I'm the mysterious and wanted Red Phantom, a ranger with some awesome red leather jackets and stuff with a bandana over my mouth. I'm half-elf so I can do awesome jumpy things, and I got a bow and arrow, along with these awesome axes I can mess fools up with."

Dipper stared at her as she spoke in her first attempt in character. It was almost enough to drool over; his crush going into the mind of the game and not hating it was a fantasy all on its own. He sighed as Wendy saluted to Soos and Mabel, and then continued to speak in character.

"Well met, Soos," Wendy nodded, and looked to Mabel, "and you? Who might you be, man?"

"Oh! My turn?" Mabel snickered, and looked to her sheet. Dipper knew something ridiculous was about to come, but was entirely unprepared for her. "Greetings! I am Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire: Druid and cute animal lover extraordinary!"

The three stared at Mabel, their mouths open as shock flowed through them. That was one heck of a name.

"Greetings Magnum Magistrate Master Mustard Manor Magnifying Mabel," Soos stated proudly, "I am Soos!"

"Hi Soos!" Mabel chuckled, "you can just call me Mabel!"

"You two know the point of this game is to live a life that you don't have, right? So using your name is kind of-"

"I AM MAGNANIMOUSLY MAGNIFICENT MASTERFULLY MALLEAVLY MENDABLE MABEL THE FOURTH, ESQUIRE!" Mabel demanded at the top of her lungs, a proud and dangerous foe to be crossed. Dipper sighed and nodded.

"Okay, fine M.M.M.M.M.M.," Dipper abbreviated her title.

"Fourth, esquire, if you please," Mabel added at the end of the introduction.

"Okay!" Dipper cried to the air in exasperation, "okay. So, you three are walking down the road. This is the one of few highways that leads all the way from the central continent to the northlands of Nudolin."

"I would like to tell Wendy- err, the Red Phantom," Mabel turned to Wendy," that her hair and outfit goes great together. Really stylish."

"Phantom?" Dipper asked Wendy.

"Oh, thanks!" Wendy smiled and laughed. Dipper couldn't help but grin as well- this wasn't going so badly as he thought it would.

"Because of Mabel's pleasant words of encouragement, the party is slightly more enervated and happy to be around one another. You all receive a plus one bonus towards your spirit," Dipper announced.

"Whoa!" Soos gasped and scribbled down a small plus one on his character sheet. "Sweet dude!"

"I'm going to be nice all the time!" Mabel declared as she and Wendy also added points to their character sheets.

"As the three of you chat animatedly to one another, sharing some of your immediate past to further introduce yourselves," Dipper informs them as he reaches down and lifts a pair of three colored twenty sided dice, and begins to shake them in his palm, "you see a village in the distance. Okay guys, time to find out how this story really begins."

Dipper turned his palm over, and he watched the three dice spin and roll against the ground. One quickly landed on one. That wasn't very good. The lower the score, the harder the start will be. Then the second landed on one as well. Yikes. The village wouldn't be kind to his friends, even if he tried being nice, it would, unless they scored a ten, be mostly hostile to them. Then the third one landed. Also a one.

"Ohhhh dang," Dipper put a hand to his eyes, "sorry guys."

"Huh?" Mabel asked, "did you fart?"

"What!? No!" Dipper spluttered, "I rolled a really, really bad start for the story."

"Awww, really man?" Wendy asked, sighing, "so it's going to be a crash course in this game?"

"Well, no. I can just re-roll. It's just a game, after all," Dipper told them with a half grin. He reached to grab the dice.

They slid away from his hand.

No one breathed for a moment. Had what they just saw happened? Dipper reached forward again, and the three dice slid away further, clustering together.

Three ones was the worst possible outcome for a story. The lowest of all possible starts.

The dice began to rattle and shake, possessed with the will to tremble and bind their unseen energy inside their plastic form. Then a blue glow surrounded them, and the four gasped and cried out as the three dice floated into the air. The began to spin: slowly at first, but rotated faster and faster until they were a blur of blue aura and a black spin. The single dot signifying the 'one' side became prominent no matter which side you looked at it from.

"What the flying fu-" Dipper began, but a new sound interrupted him.

The whirring of the spinning dice grew louder. They were practically rubbing against one another, a collected vibration of unknown energy. Then they began to drift apart- the top dice moving directly upwards and the other two at angles down and away. Yet as they separated, the dark line that they formed stretched and elongated between them, creating three equal length lines forming a shape.

Laughter. Mad, insane, excited laughter filled the air as the three dice formed into a two-dimensional shape. A yellow triangle.

"Oh no," Mabel gasped.

"Ohhhhh yeeaaah!" The laughing voice answered as an eye slowly opened in the center of the yellow triangle. The whirring stopped as the shape fully formed, and then a bow-tie, a top-hat, and a cane all appeared with the triangle, along with pencil line-thin arms and legs. "BILLS BACK BABY!"

"Cipher!" Dipper stood up quickly, backing away along with everyone else. Dipper then noticed that the state of the world they were in had changed. No longer did the colors of the universe hit him, but the shapes and forms of the room around them were now grey-scale. They were in a pocket universe- one of Bill Cipher's little tricks.

"Well, well, well," Cipher floated around, getting a view of each of the four, "Biggy, Shooting Star, Red, and Pine Tree," Bill Cipher lingered on his identification of Dipper, "wow, it's been a while since we've seen each other, hasn't it? Must have been, I don't know, seventeen millennia?"

"Three years, stupid," Mabel told the triangle, "but I think we wish it was seventeen millennia."

"Oh, well, I guess that's the difference of passing time from the universe you two banished me to from this one," Cipher turned to Mabel, his eyes glowering at her. "Better than playing with tweezers all day. Unless they were laser tweezers!"

"What do you want?" Wendy asked, the one with the least amount of involvement with this creature. Bill rounded on her next, but paused and stared.

"Hm. You seem different from the last time I saw you. What did you do? Change your hairstyle? Drink the blood of the innocent and naive?" Bill examined the redhead, who tried swatting the creature away, and he floated backwards. "Maybe a question after our little business."

"What business?" Dipper demanded, "we didn't ask anything from you!"

"No, but that's what you get when you play with a cursed game," Bill mentioned, pointing to the collection of pieces and dice below him. Dipper groaned and slapped his head. Of course there would be a cursed game like this just lying around in the Mystery Manor. There was always something so innocent and mundane that turned into something dangerous and life threatening. "The thing decided to bust me out of my cell and bring me here. Classic cursed objects. A riot! Am I right? Right?"

"Well dude, maybe if you were a bit cooler with yourself," Soos pointed out, "you'd get invited to these kinds of games."

"Games?! HA! A quatro of nerds rolling dices on the floor to something that doesn't exist?! Actually sounds like fun," Bill Cipher switched tracks immediately, but laughed, "but why pretend? We can impale naked people on spikes anytime we want to when I'm around! So lets get fun started."

"What?" Dipper asked worriedly.

"You see Pine Tree, I can see into that monkey head of yours and I see those questions burning away at your seconds. What are they?" Bill Cipher conjured an image of the cylinders by the desk, frozen in time. "And I can point you in the right step."

"Why would you want to do that?" Dipper argued as the images before them evaporated.

"Yeah! You tried destroying the portal, and _us_, last time we met!" Mabel reminded him.

"What? It's just business," Cipher shrugged with his thin black arms. "But down to the fun part- here, how about a trip down memory lane?" Bill pointed a finger at Dipper, and a bolt of white lightning blasted forth and struck Dipper. The teenager gasped as he felt it illuminate his entire body, but after he blinked, he realized he was shorter.

"Dipper!" Wendy gasped as Mabel giggled.

"Aww, he's all twelve again!" Mabel pointed.

Indeed, Dipper looked exactly like he had three years ago, shorter with rounder cheeks and his blue cap restored to his head. Dipper growled, but allowed his mind to retaliate, thinking of his standard look and he returned to his normal age's appearance.

"Aw, not one for nostalgia?" Cipher asked.

"Not involving you. Now, tell us what you want, or we can play a game of Mind-war," Dipper threatened the triangle.

"Fine, fine, fine. So, your neat little rod back there? Your cursed game decided I would be your best threat. So, we play this game together. If you beat me, I help you with the secret and let you go. Boring, safe, predictable. Ugh. Makes me want to puke one-dimensionally."

"...okay, and if we lose?" Dipper asked, worried to be revealed this answer.

"Then... hm. Let's say you all die and I get to walk away with one of your bodies and can come back to the world of the material. Sound good?" Bill asked, nodding with a bend of his top point.

"No!" The twins instantly replied.

"Too bad! You rolled the dice! So, either we sit here, getting angry at one another forever, which sounds a lot of fun guys," Bill Cipher reminded them, "or we can get this show rolling. All I need is, "he turned to Dipper, and extended his hand, which burst into blue fire, "a handshake."

"You can go suck a knob," Dipper told him, and Bill roared with laughter.

"I eat KNOBS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST, KID," Bill's size grew immensely, his eyes bloodshot and red, his voice magnified and horribly deep. Then he returned to his normal size, his hand still outstretched, "so, what do you say? You're not afraid to lose to an isosceles, are you?"

The four looked to one another. Just like them to find some way of turning a fun game into a possible fight for survival. Then again, they had bested Cipher before. Three times had the twins met against this demon, and three times they had come out victorious- although the last chance was barely a win. Their victory came at the cost of their Grunkle using the portal for his intended purpose.

It wasn't just the twins though. They were four. Older, wiser, smarter, and stronger than their last encounter. Bill Cipher didn't have a chance. The four nodded to one another, and Dipper extended his arm.

"That's right... well, let's not keep the folk in Dilhedreek village waiting! Oh, and Pine Tree," Cipher grasped onto Dipper's arm suddenly, clutching tightly," you're coming with me. You better grab one of those character sheet thingies! You're in for a bumpy ride!"

"What?!" Dipper shouted.

"Can't have them with a helper! You're in on this too, kid!" Bill Cipher began to fly upwards. The ceiling above them the walls itself, everything that was the attic room the twins lived in, fell away and crumbled into shreds of paper, dissolving and crumbling into fabric of existence. As he ascended, Dipper was tugged along with him.

"Dipper!" Mabel and Wendy shouted.

"Hey! Bring back our Stronghold Lord!" Soos shouted as Cipher and Dipper burst into extremely fast flight, soaring away with a blast of light that expanded and eventually grew so bright the three remaining behind had to cover their eyes.

When they opened them again, they were no longer in Oregon.

They were no longer on Earth.

It was no longer summer.

They were no longer themselves.

Snow fell around them. The air was drier, windier, and had trees growing by the side of the road so tall it made redwood trees look like babies in comparison.

The three looked to themselves first, examining their new properties. Soos certainly was still tall, but now was towering over the other two. His shoulders were wider, more muscular, and toned out. A massive shield, christened on the front with a red wrench, a golden screw driver, and a fist with a 'thumbs up' shone in silver on the front. Not only that, his large, shining armor was angled and box-like, and behind his tower shield was a spear-like weapon, with a sharpened wrench-head for a point.

Mabel was looking at her robes. A large piece of patchwork and stitches, she seemed to be covered in stickers and miss-matched logos from various unknown places and organizations of fantasy look. She still had her basic look, but her tongue quickly realized with a small jump- she had not regained braces.

"Yes!" She cheered, rubbing her teeth happily. Mabel gave her staff a spin for amusement- it was made of wood that had grown and expanded into a staff- at the end rested a pigs face on a stone that the living limbs of the staff had carefully rapped around.

"Okay, this is kind of cool, actually," Wendy's voice added to this. Soos and Mabel turned and they gasped.

Wendy had never needed to look any better than she already did. Fit, conditioned, and active, the girl was a great example of genetics and lifestyle working hand in hand to make a great image of the human body, even if she was a tad bit on the skinny side.

Now she was tall, her red hair shined in the light like it were a rare jewel just like her eyes, and she had two pointed ears jutting out of the sides. Her pale skin was mostly covered in leather armor, tailored to her and only her. A pair of coat-tails fell past her back. Even her pants, a fabric and animal pelt construction, seemed tailored to her. Resting on her mouth, as she had planned, was black bandanna, which she pulled to her neck to speak.

"I feel like I'm robin hood," Wendy admitted, checking herself out.

"So I guess aside from the fact that we're going to be fighting for our lives," Mabel told the other two, grabbing them by the shoulders and pulling them close, "this could have been a lot worse! Poinng!" Mabel flicked Wendy's tall ear.

"Oh, dude, don't do that. It feels way weird," Wendy admitted with a shudder.

"So... we should be going, right?" Soos asked while in the group hug.

Before the two ladies could answer, there was a loud whinny of a horse. A split second later, a line of horses, armored and ridden by soldiers of thick armor, blasted past the three, nearly knocking them off their feet and onto the road.

"Hey!" Mabel cried as they filed past, "watch it!"

The soldiers ignored them. As the procession of soldiers on horseback trotted past, the three adventurers watched their destination. A small signed labeled the village they were walking towards, and a castle that was behind that, towering over the trees.

"Castle Dilhedreek," Wendy said aloud as she read the sign from a distance. "Isn't that where Dipper was going to have us go?"

"I guess we should try to follow the story," Soos suggested, "so, to the village?"

"To the village!" Mabel pointed forward with her staff, and on her first step tripped over her robes. After slamming her face into the dirt, she rose up, cradling her nose. "Ow. Healing spell would be nice," she told them as she waved her staff in front of her face, and a faint light shone on her face, warn to the touch and truly mending her scratched nose. "Much better."

"How did you..." Soos started, but Mabel shrugged.

"Just try it yourself. I don't know, create light or something, mister holy warrior," Mabel told Soos. The tall man nervously looked at his hands, and at the will of his mind, light indeed shot out towards the ground, searing a bit of earth.

"Wow! Cool!" Soos nodded, accepting his gift.

"Shall we?" Mabel asked a shaky sigh.

"Lets go," Wendy told the other two with a pat of her arms, sliding between the two of them to lead.

Walking down the road after the horsemen was rather loud. Wendy's two axes clattered against the belt buckles they were tied to around her hip, and while Mabel was quiet, Soos made a racket with his armor, clanging and clattering away with the spear and shield. His echoing sounds shook the air as they reached the town edge, where farmers, tradesmen, and all manners of people walked around them.

They all seemed dirty and dressed better for the weather than the three newcomers, even though Mabel, Soos, and Wendy didn't feel any of the cold. The buildings were crude-looking European based constructs, two stories tall and tightly locked together. Mabel wondered if cursed wax-figure Shakespeare would walk out of one of the many alleyways that surrounded them.

"Excuse me," Wendy asked a passing by well-dressed couple, "we're looking for a-"

"Leave me be!" the woman shouted, swatting Wendy's outstretched hand.

"Hey!"

"We have no business with the likes of you!" the woman told her, sticking her nose into the air as she passed.

"Wow. Discrimination is strong here," Wendy huffed, pulling her bandana up to her mouth, "maybe an arrow in her leg would... ugh. You guys take lead on this one."

"I think Soos should," Mabel suggested, "he's a paladin, which mean people know he's a good guy, and Soos is nice anyway!"

"Ah, thanks Mabel," Soos smiled.

He took to the front, and headed towards a market stall, where a poacher was selling his meats and pelts.

"Sup dude," Soos waved his hand, "I'm Soos, of Mission Soos. I was hoping you could help us out with a pointer or something."

"Hm... 'A pointer or something', Soos of Soos," the man behind the table repeated, "perhaps. What brings you to this town?"

"Uh... good tidings and food, dude," Soos tried. The man gave a bellow of a laugh, but nodded.

"Ah. Ask away my friend. We welcome those with good intent here; for merriment and mirth have long abandoned these times," the poacher told them darkly.

"What gives? Someone being a stinker around here?" Mabel asked, stepping next to Soos. Behind them, Wendy had removed her axes from the belt, and was playing with them, twirling them and spinning them around her body like batons.

"Our king is... repeat not what you have heard here," the man demanded of Mabel and Soos, "but with the death of our late King, the spoiled prince Herlis has decided that it is not only popular to abuse and criticize non-humans, but made it law. We have lost many friends and families because of his damned orc-hatred."

"So he's a racist," Wendy snorted behind them, having put away his axes and now was playing with her bow, "explains the popularity."

"Why hasn't anyone stopped him?" Mabel demanded.

"He uses a group of enchanters, lead by one 'Dipperthur the Wise', whom he forced into service with his men," the poacher added, the three exchanging a look with the title, "to enchant his best men with magical weaponry."

"So no one can fight back, huh?" Soos nodded, "sounds rough, dawg."

"Indeed it is, dawg," the poacher nodded back.

A commotion was building behind them. A cluster of peasants ran into Wendy, who expertly stayed on her feet, but growled at them as they moved on, not a word to her.

"People these days," Wendy snarled.

"What is going on, friend Alastor?" the poacher called past the group. An older man, of greying hair and strong scarring on his face paused, turning to the seller.

"The great enchanter now refuses to cast spells for the kings men! He is to be executed immediately!" the man told him and turned. The poacher gasped, and abandoned his post, quickly running with the gathering crowd towards the castle.

"Dipperthur? The Wise?" Mabel gulped as she realized that they weren't just going to kill any old fart of a wizard. Her brother was on death row. "Let's go!"

The thee also headed off, pushing past people to get a better view of the executioners block. nearby the walls to the castle was a small hill made of stone and brick. Atop it was a basket and thick, bloody wooden block. Soldiers were around the base of the hill and atop it, armed and sinister looking. As the three pushed their way towards the front of the crowd, they spotted a trio of men walking forward.

A tall soldier in armor of the same design as the men around him was pushing a purple clad young man brown eyes scanning around the crowd. He seemed nervous and confused. Ironic, considering he was supposed to be the Stronghold Lord.

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted, barely louder than the surrounding crowd. Dipper's hearing instantly detected her, and whipped his head to see her, slightly to the right of his destination. Behind the two men was a larger, taller man all in black. His face was concealed and was holding a massive crude axe. An executioner.

"Mabel!" he called back, and was shoved ahead. A majority of the viewers laughed at his stumble as he fell forward.

"That's not funny!" Mabel shouted to the crowd. She was one in hundreds- they did not hear her nor care to hear her. This was a show to them. "We need to get him out of there!"

"Yeah we do!" Soos nodded. "If we rush in, do you think we could... Wendy?" Soos looked around with Mabel.

She was gone.

"Well, her name is 'Red Phantom'," Mabel shrugged, "you don't think she's going to get into trouble, do you?"

Such dramatic an answer had never come to Mabel before.

As Dipper was pushed to stand before the butcher block, an arrow struck the executioners chest. The crowd gasped and someone screamed as he fell to the ground, dropping the weapon. Before the head guardsmen could draw his sword, another arrow whipped past Dipper's head and struck the man in the neck. Dipper was alone, and guards were rushing to get him.

"Look!" Soos pointed.

Wendy had just leapt from a rooftop. Soaring through the air, her red billowing hair cut through the cloudy sky like a bloody blade would through flesh. She landed atop one soldier, slamming him into the ground with a crushing blow to his neck. Two nearby soldiers turned and charged her. It was their last mistake, as she easily weaved and dodged each of their swings, and after letting them get away with three attacks each, she removed her axes.

Strike after strike with her hatchets met against their skin, bone, armor. They were torn apart in three strikes each.

"Dang," Dipper's voice echoed from the butchers block.

An axe in each arm, she approached Dipper, now surrounded by the guardsmen who were all focused on Wendy.

"For mission SOOS!" Soos cried, raised his shield, and charged forth from the crowd. A great bright light was cast around him, and he slammed into the first soldier he could, the light zapping him like an electrical current. He was now also in the fray, swinging around his spear with one hand while Wendy juggled her attention between several fighters as well.

"I think this image needs... birds," Mabel nodded, and lifter her hands to the sky with her staff. Crows, ravens, and several doves began to circle the battle in front of her. With a swipe of her arms, she lowered her hands and directed the airborne animal allies towards the enemy. "Get 'em! Geeet 'em!"

Birds slammed into the armored guards, pecking and clawing and tearing at their faces, necks, fingers, whatever they could get their beats and talons into. Soos and Wendy grabbed Dipper in the confusion and headed through the crowd, Soos acting like a battering ram for anyone who didn't move out of the way quick enough.

"Guys! That was amazing!" Dipper told them as he ran alongside with them.

"Thanks! Where's Cipher?" Mabel asked as they rounded a corner. Above their heads the sounds of trumpets blasted high into the cold sky.

"He's gone! He headed off as soon as he established where I was," Dipper angrily shouted, "but I bet you he'll be around!"

"So, not to distract us from the problem of getting home, but I think we should be leaving town guys," Wendy added, coming to a stop with them by a stables. "Can anyone lockpick?"

"I got this," Dipper stepped past them hurriedly, as the sounds of more approaching guards grew louder. With a wave of his hand by the lock, the door slid open. "Ladies first," he bowed to Wendy, who grinned and ruffled his hair as she passed. She must have had magic cast on her, because a jolt of energy shot through his back and trembled with joy.

"Bro," Mabel followed Soos, "you okay?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah. I never thought I'd get a chance to play this for real, you know?" he nudged Mabel's shoulder, beaming with excitement.

"You almost had your head chopped off."

"All part of the game," Dipper snorted to himself as he found a horse to his liking. He truthfully had no idea how to ride it, just like he had no idea how he had cast the spell, but it came to him as muscle memory. "Now, let's get out of here!"

The four burst from the stables, nearly trampling a few guards that had spotted them inside. With another spell, Dipper blasted the ground behind them with ice, leaving a shimmering trail of frozen, unwalkable earth. Guards slipped and fell, sliding all over the place as the teenager laughed. Once you got over the premise of death, this all really was cool.

"So, Dipper," Wendy called over the beating hoofs of the horses, "how do we win the game?"

"I'm... well, in the story, or the campaign," Dipper elaborated, "you have to complete an objective. The objective of this story was to establish peace however you can to the land."

"Do we have a plan?" Wendy asked him as his horse caught up with hers.

"Yeah we do. Dipperthur the Wise totally has a plan. You see, just to the south, down this road, should be a huge camp for an Orc army. They want to take these guys out, and if we help them it should be a quick victory for us!" Dipper explained to the others, the sights of the village and castle leaving them.

"Great. And they'll be okay with us?" Soos asked, "because I don't know if Orcs are chill or not."

"They are. As long as you let them know you're friendly before they go running at the enemy in their bloodlust," Dipper told them, "they'll give anyone a listen. Otherwise they'll just try to kill you."

"Oh, well that's good," Soos nodded in confidence, "then we just need to meet them before they storm the castle."

"Hey, do you guys hear something?" Mabel asked, peering far ahead.

The four horses came to a stop. Far ahead, just at the edge of vision of the long, winding road, was a moving cluster. Something bounding and running. Snarling and roaring. Biting and gnashing.

Green skin and thick, well made armor, strong weapons and siege tools; all manners of Orcish made things were rushing down the road, bellowing a war cry unlike the four adventurers had yet to hear in their life.

"So, I'm going to say that sounds like a bloodlust-y kind of cry," Mabel nodded worriedly as the other three stared in terror, "right? That sounds bloodlust-y?" Dipper nodded slowly to his sister, and she nodded back. "So much for making friends."

The Orc army had come.

* * *

I say 'JUMAN', you say 'JI'! Ready?

JUMAN-

JUMAN-

JUMAN-

... what? Nineties kids will get it. XD

I bet some of you guys got worried, like I was going write an entire story about how the gang actually sit down and enjoy a standard game of Dungeons and Dragons. Not saying I could do it perfectly, but this ain't that kinda story suckas. Next time, we see how four adventurers can cope with a huge battle outside a castle.

Remember to review! I'll spoil something if you ask nicely! ;) (A huge angry orc burst down EZB's door, a large metal mace in his hand and a spray can of mace in the other) Oh no! It's the spoiler police!

Orc Spoiler Cop: STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! (Beats EZB and sprays his face with Mace)


	17. Strongholds and Serpents: Part 2

"Is this one of those moments where we turn right around and warn everyone back at the castle of coming doom?" Soos asked.

The four were staring at the approaching army of screaming, bellowing, roaring Orcs. Not just Orcs. Giants. Ogres. Goblins. A whole mess of green and brown skinned creatures lumbered, skittered, charged right for him, carrying armor and weapons easily fit for their needs.

"I think we'll have a better chance for this if we run past the castle!" Dipper decided. "Turn around, turn around!" he told them, their horses panicked and startled at the coming doom.

The four let their horses stomp the ground, echoing their desperation to go to the safest place. Dipper was right- should they be able to pass by the castle, surely the orcs intended target, they would be safe and free. The orc army would attack their true enemy, and grind it to dust.

"Out of the way!" Dipper yelled, waving his hand at the peasants who had run to the edge of town, watching the four vanish. Some guards were running towards them, their swords drawn as they ran closer.

"Get to cover!" Mabel shouted as well, "an army is coming you dopes!"

Their horses ran by the guards who tried halting their progress. Castle was passing by the left, archers and soldiers shouting down at them as they road.

"I wonder if they're more interested in us then that army?" Wendy asked, as several crossbow bolts whipped by their heads, barely missing the four adventurers.

"There! The edge of town!" Dipper pointed ahead, where several more buildings peeled away as they traversed the street. They saw the wilderness.

Then Dipper remembered with a pained outcry- They had rolled three ones. It wasn't going to be that easy.

On the other side of town was another army.

"What the-" Wendy shouted as the four of them slid to a stop.

The army outside of town seemed just as disorganized as the Orcish one. Men and women, elves and dwarves, halflings and all sizes charged from the other end, no particular flag held up, just a ground shaking roar as hundreds peeled out from the woods and towards the castle. It was the rebels of the land, the anarchists.

"This is _so_ not what was going to happen if I was Stronghold Lord!" Dipper shouted, angered at the chaos about to unfurl. "Find a spot to dismount the horses and get on foot! I think we're fighting this one through!"

"Hehehe, dismount," Soos chuckled and Mabel joined him in laughter. The four horse-carried adventurers found themselves in an alley and a clearing. The four quickly got off their horses, which all went into a full panic and ran off.

Something was whistling in the air. To their right, one of the buildings was destroyed- a huge burning boulder fell from the sky and leveled the wooden frame. People were screaming in the streets. Both armies had arrived.

"Okay, plan?" Dipper asked the other three.

"I like 'survive'," Wendy told him, and spotted something past Dipper, who faced away from their alley. "Get down!" she cried, reaching for her bow as she shoved Dipper down. An archer had just shot at Dipper, barely missing him with Wendy's help. She replied in kind- an arrow striking him in the chest instantly as he fell.

"The rebels want is dead too?" Mabel whined, "is there anything around here that's okay with us?"

"I don't know, Druid," Dipper told her as he stood, brushing dirt and Pebbles off his cloak, "why don't you summon some things that like us?"

"I'll watch the alley," Wendy told them avoiding the flames as she strode past the twins.

"Wait, I can do that?" Mabel asked, her facial features growing in awe, "so if I want an army of cuddly pigs to show up, they-"

"It would take a while, but yeah, you can summon them," Dipper told her. His eyes caught something climbing its way out of the rubble. Orcs. Large, muscular, and already bleed and on fire, Dipper pointed to them, "Soos!"

"Got it dude!" Soos whipped his spear above his head and shoved his shield before him as the Orcs lowered themselves to the ground, "alright dawgs, lets dance!"

"Alright, I'll just summon everything I can then," Mabel told him, and closed her eyes.

"Wait- Mabel! The more you try to bring to us the longer... Mabel?" Dipper poked her shoulder. It was too late. She had already entered a state of trance, and was deep inside the mind of the Druid spell. A breeze was cast around here, just barely strong enough to toss around Dipper's robes. "Mabel is out of action! She's casting a spell!"

"Watch her then!" Wendy said, shouldering the corner of the alley, where she lifted out another Arrow and shot it down the street into another incomer. "Two."

"You're keeping track?" Soos asked, having just dispatched one of the orcs, and was onto the second.

"If I'm going to get through all this war," Wendy said, firing another arrow, "three- I'm going to act like this is just a game." Another arrow. "Four- no, wait," she shot another, "now its four."

"_Holy Shock_!" Soos cast out his hand onto the orc, whom he had just disarmed. The green creature looked down to Soos's hand just as a bright light shone out, and a blast and crackle of lightning blast into the Orc. He was thrown away, back into the burning building and through the walls. "Dang, that was stronger than I thought it was going to be."

"Nice!" Dipper congratulated.

"So, that's two," Soos told Wendy.

"I'm on nine!" Wendy shouted as she reached again into her quiver.

"Oh wow dude!" Soos gaped. The hole he had created did not go unnoticed. A cluster of goblins, smaller in stature to the orcs skittered through the wall, snarling and hissing as they pointed at Soos. "Time to work again."

Another burning bolder crashed into the building, this time the one next to Wendy. She didn't notice it until a wave of fire and heat spilled past her, the impact tossing the half-elf away from her post. She slammed into the less, destroyed building, and crumbled to the floor, stunned.

"Wendy!" Dipper ran forward. His attention was taken though. A larger group of rebels, now aware of Wendy's fall, were charging at them. Dipper lifted his hands, and felt the energies ahead of him.

An enchanter could not create spells. They enforced things. They put magical energy into pre-existing powers around them, making them stronger or changing their nature. Fire was in the building right next to the alley. Dipperthur the Wise grinned.

With a clutch of his hands on air, he caused the fire inside the building to take on the properties of an explosive- nitroglycerin. The entire wall next to the alley, and the remains of that building in particular, exploded violently. Not only did the Rebels vanish beneath the rubble, but the Goblins still making their way to Soos the next building over get vaporized in the huge column of heat.

Dipper, still on his feet turned to Wendy. She was climbing back up, but he rushed over to her, pulling her up gently with guiding force.

"Are you okay?" Dipper asked of her.

"I'm fine- what the... what happened to our cover?" Wendy asked.

Dipper turned and rolled his eyes. He not only destroyed the one building next to the alley, but had also blow up the building next to it. There was nothing left of the two, save for burning planks of wood. The castle loomed above them. They now could see catapults launching the same burning stones into the castle walls, as ballista's fired back down upon the crowds. It was entirely a battle now.

"So, I'm thinking we stay here," Dipper told the two still able to fight, as Mabel was still in the middle of a spell. "This way we still have a visual on what's coming to us."

"I like it," Wendy nodded.

"Same here dude," Soos agreed, peering up at the castle. "How long do you think this is going to take anyway?"

"I don't know. If there was going to be a battle, it would have been a two sided one- not this!" Dipper informed them, "this... this is just crazy!"

There was an explosion from the castle. The three turned and stared up. Something small was flying through the air, holding onto something metallic. Watching it arc right towards them, the adventurers backed up, as someone shouted while falling, "SOMEONE CALL FOR ME?!"

A figure, dressed head to toe in a kings armor, glistening silver and gold plating with jewelry, slammed into the ground roughly. Kneeling down before them, the man rose, just a smidgeon taller than Soos, the man had a long blond hair and a black triangle eye-patch. Not only that, on the back of his armor was a large modern metal casing.

"What the heck!?" Dipper demanded as the person stood in front of them his arms crossed.

"Bow before you king! Or, you know, throw your moldy bread and rotten cheeses at me! I think if you stuff rotten cheeses into dorks mouths you should be made a knight," the man proclaimed as king told them.

"That's not the king," Dipper shook his head. Those eyes- yellowish and a slit for a pupil- told him exactly who it was.

"Missed me, Pine Tree?" Bill Cipher said, reaching around his body.

"You tried to have me kill!"

"All part of the game," Bill Cipher reminded them, as he retribed what looked like the first half of a back-mounted chain gun. Only, instead of a multitude of barrels, a large baby's head stared at them, grumpily staring at the three of them.

"What the heck is that?" Soos demanded, pointing to the grim contraption.

"This is the Squealer-Squasher Thirty Thousand. My own personal design," Cipher patted the head roughly, which the baby head did not approve of, "can fire lasers at an ungodly rate per second. Or, godless rate per second. I don't know. Don't really care either! LEEET 'ERRRR RIP!"

Soos quickly cast a spell on his shield as Dipper and Wendy dived behind him. Cipher roared with laughter as the mouth of the babe opened, while the head spun around, and a rainbow of lasers blasted out. Each one slammed into the magical shield, splintering off and cutting away through wood, stone, person or Orc. Whoever got in the reflected lasers path was doomed to die.

"C'mon out of there!" Cipher begged, walking closer and closer with his weapon.

"Not until you stop cheating!" Dipper shouted back.

"How is this cheating! It's a fantasy!" The demon retorted.

"A fantasy within a specific genre and type, one where technology of this type is-"

"I MAKE THE RULES, SUCKER!" Bill roared back, and only then noticed- a quiet Mabel standing upright, gently wind swirling around her. "Aw, and look at the little druid. INTERUPTION OF DEATH!" Soos made quick adjustment, leaping to fix himself to be in front of the chaingun again. "Triiiiiicked you," Cipher then pointed back towards the unguarded Wendy and Dipper.

"Hold him off, I can think of something!" Dipper told Wendy as he ran into the backdoor of a house.

Wendy nodded and took her charge professionally. Lowering herself she darted along the ground as a red streak. Hair billowing behind her she weaved away from the coming danger, past Soos and into the wreckage, using the still remaining piles of burning wood to draw away Ciphers fire. As she did, she found to points to fire two shots from her bow. Both arrows made their mark, but the armor was thick and they bounced away.

Soos made good use of her timing, and crept up slowly on Cipher, his shield still the first thing between them. With a large huff, Soos lowered the shield and swung it like a bat with his one arm. Cipher never noticed, and was knocked off his feet. The laser fire stopped, and he rolled away, laughing manically.

"Oh, big guy feels alone, does he?" he quickly stood, reading the weapon. Cipher didn't get a chance to fire first. Soos swung his spear for the enemy, each time being dodged by the surprisingly agile man in armor. "What ever happened to looking for peaceful resolution? You were so boring!"

"No on threatens my friends!" Soos told him dangerously. The paladin thrust out with his shield and smashed Cipher's armor head on, knocking off his helmet. As Cipher retaliated, forsaking turning on the baby-faced chain gun and instead just slamming it against Soos, who parried it with his spear, movement on the rooftops caught their attention. Wendy was ready and fired three arrows in quick succession.

"Nope! Not! Nix!" Cipher stepped away and batted each arrow with a swing of his weapon. Soos tried to step in again, but Cipher landed a powerful kick on him, pushing him away. Wendy was entirely exposed, but she acted. Leaping off from the roof, she flung herself at him, putting her bow away as she gripped onto the axes.

No words for Wendy as she dueled this monster of armor and insanity. Twirling around like a bloody ballerina, she whipped the axes out and back in, recovering he stable stance so that the quick extension of her axes wouldn't throw off her balance. Wendy was keeping Bill on the retreat, forcing him to parry and block all her lightning like strikes at bay.

"_Break automaton_!" Soos cried pointing at the gun. A ray of red light cast out from his fist, yet it was deflected by a strong yellow light, which emanated from Cipher.

"Try again, sucker!" Cipher stuck out his tongue just before ducking under a swipe from an axe.

"Soos!" Dipper came back out, staring to his friends at the dueling ready head and Cipher, who had finally gotten a chance to fire back occasionally at her, producing sporadic streams of lasers into the sky. "I know how to break that thing!"

"Good, cus my spell looked like it was blocked!" Soos told him.

"It's his demon aura! He's a powerful demon, so he can deflect magic at certain levels and types. Soos, I'm about to give you a one time boost to magical offensive spells. You need to cast your strongest holy spell that damages on him!" Dipper told him.

"That'll have me run out of magic juice! Watch out!" Soos lowered himself by Dipper, holding the shield up to cover the two of them. Dipper gasped and nodded in thanks.

"Mana. Don't worry about your mana. I got that covered," Dipper told him with a grin. "Go for it!"

Soos stood, and turned to Cipher. The handy-man turned paladin gripped his magical spear tightly as bright white electricity began to crackle from his grip, causing the weapon to tremble and shake. As he did, his eyes crackled with the same kind of energy, burning and billowing out into the air. Light pierced through the heavy clouds above, hitting him and heating his armor to the point where Dipper had to step, the ground burning around him.

"_Holy Judgment: Divine Gavel_!" Soos roared as he pointed his spear at him.

From the crackling energies Soos had created, a massive gavel comprised out of white energy and similar electrical charge blast out, the size of Soos. Cipher saw it coming the entire time, and just managed to step away from Wendy for the spell to strike him full on.

Bill Cipher screamed as his body met with the attack. The energies coursed through his armor, his eyes, his gun, everything that he touched crackled with this energy. His screams in agony were only barely muffled by the buzz of power that was coursing through him. Wendy made to hit him in the head.

"Don't!" Dipper said, "it'll connect to you and kill you!" Wendy nodded and stepped back. "Stay there though!" Dipper told her and ran over, putting a hand on Soos's shoulder as he passed, "_Calming thoughts_," Dipperthur the wise said quickly as he ran over, and a bubbling blue aura was created around Soos, who until that point had been breathing heavily. Now he stood up, shaking off his fatigue.

"Wendy, draw a bow, Soos," Dipper talked quickly, the powerful spell on the demon wearing off, "Soos, when I say when, cast the spell that'll break his gun. Wendy, when I say fire, shoot the arrow."

"Gotcha bud," She nodded as she strung the arrow.

"_Astral Grafting,_" Dipper placed a hand on the arrow, which then glowed a dark blue, appearing like constellations were etched into the wooden shaft.

"What the-" Wendy demanded.

"Trust me," Dipper winked.

"GAAH!" Cipher roared as the last bits of the spell wore off. He was bleeding from they eyes and nose, angrily looking around with his one eye. "You... I'll break that stupid shielding spell and shove it into your-!"

"Soos, now!" Dipper shouted. Cipher had gone to lower the gun, and Soos did as what was tasked of him.

"_Break automaton_," Soos cried and shot the spell forward. Cipher snarled and waved his hand just as the spell would have hit his gun, a red light moving to intercept.

"_Arcane Subjection_!" Dipper shouted. The light from Soos stopped and shot into his hands, through his body, and out the other hand, which was pointed at Wendy's arrow. "Fire now!"

The light had merged into her arrow, the constellations lighting up with the same kind of holy energy that Soos had used. Wendy let go of her arrow. It soared right for the mechanisms hidden behind the baby's head and stuck itself inside.

"Oh dang it," Cipher moaned.

Another huge blast of fire and heat erupted around them. A boulder hadn't slammed nearby, but instead the unholy contraction had exploded and thrown Cipher back far. The three had shielded themselves as best they could- shrapnel and flame pouring around. The last thing they heard was a baby's cry as it was disintegrated.

"Dipper, how did that-" Wendy asked of him, pushing her mangled hair out of her face.

"I enchanted your arrow to take the properties of whatever spell I wanted. Instead of frost or fire or whatever elements I can use, I just took control of Soos's spell and placed it onto the arrow. Boom," Dipper snapped his gloved fingers, "arrow of mechanical destruction."

"That's... how did you even think of that?" Soos inquired, a huge smile beaming down on Dipper.

"It's all in the job of the enchanter. Of Dipperthur," Dipper crossed his arms triumphantly, "Dipperthur the wise."

"Braaaavo," The unmistakable voice of Bill Cipher returned to them. Getting up from his crater some fifty feet away, Cipher stood from them, half his armor disintegrated. His hair also was mostly blown off, along with chunks of his skin. Blood poured down from his body, but he paid little attention to them, "you broke my toy. Good job."

"Surrender, Cipher," Dipper demanded from him, "even when you cheat we're still going to beat you."

"Oh, see, that's funny," Cipher snickered, shaking his hand, which had lost a finger from the explosion, "because this isn't far from over. You really think I came down here to fight? A demon who fights mano-y-mano?"

"What?" the three asked.

"Maybe if you'd been a good enchanter, instead of one who got involved in a fight," Cipher told him, "you'd have realized I was altering your sister's spell."

"No!" Dipper spun just in time to have Mabel awaken, and smile at them.

"Guys! Reinforcements are- wow, you guys totally ruined this place," Mabel nodded as she looked around, "nice. Hey, who's that?" She asked, pointing to Cipher.

"What did you do to the spell?" Dipper demanded, his gloves tightening with his fist.

"Well, you add a little power to the spell, change the range, open up draconic languages," Cipher listed off the things he had done, "and made sure it was a hostile target to anyone. And boom- corrupted a spell for evil dragon summoning."

"... Is he talking about my spell?" Mabel asked, gulping audibly.

An air trembling roar split the attention of the group. Wendy, Soos, and Mabel stared to the skies as Dipper refused to peel his vision off of Cipher. He had been played at his own game yet again; distraction and diversion for the killing blow. Maybe he could quickly enchant his gloves for ice-storm power, and choke Cipher, freezing his head off. Just then the demon laughed.

"You really think I'd reside in this body long enough for you to kill me? Stupid! Ridiculous!" Cipher snorted loudly.

"Why a dragon?" Dipper growled. "Why summon something that could destroy the kingdom?"

"You're stupid, aren't you?" Cipher stepped closer a few paces. "I'm a demon! Maybe a dream demon, so chaos and destruction aren't exactly my forte, but I love it as much as the next two dimensional aberration. Your goal was peace, wasn't it? Good luck establishing peace now when there isn't much left! I'll see you all in the underworld!" and without another warning, his body fell back, eyes lost of light, and the king's dead corpse fell to the ground, lifeless.

"Out of the frying pan," Dipper said as he turned away from their first real boss, "and into the fire."

A massive black dragon soared above them, and passed over the castle. Dark green flame erupted over the walls, melting stone, armor, ballista's alike. It was larger than the gate itself, some one hundred feet long with a wingspan almost twice that. Spikes of red and crimson sprouted out from its back. Deadly purple eyes surveyed the area as it turned away from the stone walls and breathed down the throats of anyone in its path, the similar green fire scorching a trail of destruction.

"I swear I didn't invite Godzilla over there," Mabel promised her friends.

"It was Cipher," Dipper told her. "So, I don't know if the original story idea is going to work here."

"What'cha mean dude?" Soos asked worriedly.

"Cipher and the dragon combined are going to torch everything that's left of the kingdom. If our goal was to protect people we never had a chance to begin with," Dipper told them.

"Not even a talk for diplomacy here or an idle chat there," Wendy nodded.

"Except that one guy," Soos pointed out, "the poacher was cool."

"So I think our next best thing-"

"LOOK OUT!" Mabel grabbed the brother and pulled him aside as Soos stepped in front of Wendy. A torrent of green fire passed over them, scorching the area they had just been discussing tactics by. The buildings where they dragon had just passed over melted and collapsed into more green flames.

"Well this is becoming hell really quickly," Wendy told them as she and Soos stepped out of the remaining fire.

"We need that dragon dead. Black dragons are ruthless and don't generally care who gets in their way. If we try to run, and it spots us," Dipper looked to them all, "which it will, it'll chase us just the same. We need to fight it."

"I'm all for that," Mabel nodded quickly.

"How exactly do we do that though? The thing is like a hundred feet in the air constantly. I can shoot it, but unless you want to strap a bomb to one of my arrows-"

"It wouldn't be enough," Dipper pointed to the dragon as it passed far off in the village, where a boulder struck its back, exploding and doing little to no harm, "those scales are damn impenetrable. This thing is an old, scary mother hubbard. Which means it only has one real weakness."

"Pretty princess for it to steal?" Mabel suggested.

"For a snack, maybe," Dipper sighed, "it's mouth. Dragons don't have scales in its mouth."

"So, "Soos summarized, "So we shoot it down its throat, which means it has to be looking at us, which means it can attack us... this sounds super dangerous."

"About as dangerous as walking into hell itself," Dipper told him. "But we have an advantage: I have one spell that can help out. It's called 'Force of Will'. If I can cast the spell on this sucker, he won't be able to move or act without my say!"

"So we distract it and then you make this dude paralyzed," Wendy stated, "how long do you need?"

"Well, first off," Dipper gripped an arrow in her quiver, and it glowed golden and red, "that one is now like TNT. If it lights up, it explodes."

"WHAT!?" Wendy ripped it out of her quiver hurriedly, "DIPPER!"

"Oh- right- sorry," Dipper blushed horribly as he realized what he had just done, potentially threatening her life, "just, uh, here-" he snatched it from her and slid it into his robes, tucking it under a belt by his trousers, "I'll hold onto it."

"That's a bomb waiting to happen with all this fire around!" Wendy scolded him, "you could have told me!"

"Sorry!" Dipper apologized hastily, "I wasn't thinking like- I'm sorry!"

"So, uh, dragon?" Mabel suggested loudly. The four looked around. The village was in utter ruins. Almost no buildings were left now. Sparse fighting still remained- people of all shapes and sizes struggled for life and death above the crackling flames of green and black ashes that were scattered around them.

"Okay. I'll start the spell," Dipper said, "when I start, I'll be like Mabel: so I'll need cover. Just keep me alive until its ready, and then we can shove this arrow into its mouth."

The three nodded and Dipper bowed his head. A single tiny ball of blue light began to float around Dipper and his eyes closed. He was no help to them now.

"Growth of thorns!" Mabel cried as she spotted an approaching trio of orcs, their weapons raised. From under their feet a massive burst of thorny vines exploded up, twisting and pulling around the incomers. "Now stay there and think about what you've done!" Mabel shouted at them.

"There's more!" Wendy shouted and pointed ahead.

Clearly more of the rebel and orcish army had survived than the soldiers from the castle, as both remaining forces were dead-set on charging at one another, conveniently where the four adventurers were stationed. There was no longer any cover. They were in the open.

"_Flash of the Pure_!" Soos shouted as he raised his spear. From between the two points a bright ball of light was summoned, and then it exploded. Wendy and Mabel looked away just in time, but most of the charging wall of soldiers were not spared the blinding light.

Wendy took advantage of the opportunity. Arrow after arrow was fired towards the crowd, striking those she deemed more dangerous than others- those with large swords, spears, thick shields holding a bow and arrow; anyone who would be more complicated to deal with than a soldier with a sword and small shield. She grinned as she struck the last one wincing before the spells effect wore off, "make that seventeen."

"_Feral Ties_!" Mabel said as she cast a spell on herself. "Oh boy!" she shouted. Her eyes grew wider, taking on the appearance of a feline creature. Spinning her staff above her head, she welcomed the first attacker with a bending of her fingers. "Come and get it, boys!"

The waves finally crashed together. Hidden between Soos, Wendy and Mabel was Dipper, silent and motionless.

Soos was easily the best wall of the three of them. His shield made it impossible for almost anyone to gain an edge against him, literally acting as an impenetrable tower. His spear swiped and stabbed at those who dared to attack him, drawing blood left and right. Nothing touched him, not even the arrows aimed for his peeking head around the edge of his thick screen.

Wendy was doing her job magnificently. A woman dancing in mid-air like a loose scarf in the wind her hair danced around where she had just bin. Two axes whipped and swung around her, blocking attacks, chopping off arms, and making the occasional killing blow. She was easily the flashiest of the three, landing onto of targets before kicking them back and soaring mid air to land a killing blow from her aerial ascension.

Thanks to her spell, the Druid Mabel had the instincts and reflexes of a feral big-game cat. With her staff, she bat away and thrust back at attackers, jabbing them in their throats and eyes, easily putting them in harms way before using a free hand to cast a spell. Angry wasps soared at the injured participant, forcing them to retreat as the horrible creatures stung and bit at their eyes and face.

It was working. Just the three of them were holding off against a group of easily fifty armored soldiers. Their luck was holding off.

Until a roar blast above them, heralding the coming dragon.

"Crud!" Mabel turned away from the frightened soldiers. "Soos! On Wendy's side!"

The two mentioned turned just in time to see the coming dragon from the clouds. It was heading right for them. Soos cast a quick spell on his shield and ran next to Wendy as the soldiers started splintering their formation. Not a jet of fire this time, but a single, huge fireball soared for them. Wendy ducked behind Soos, and leaned against him, hoping to support the incoming blast. Mabel added her own aid, casting a simultaneous long-term healing spell and a natures grace spell.

The fireball landed directly before Soos. Even with the three spells and Wendy's help, he was thrown backwards from the shockwave that followed. Directly over Dipper and Wendy the handyman soared, landing roughly some thirty feet away. Wendy had been spared little less, and was tumbling far past Mabel. The Druid had done her part to keep them alive, but only just that.

"Guys!?" she called. Soos was out for the count now. Not dead- her magical sense told her that no one she called ally had perished. But both were down for now. It was just her.

The dragon soared past them, another roar rumbling in the air. The woods were burning now, green and red flames billowing black smock into the clouds. It was horrible, even if this was some sort of game, Mabel stared around her.

What could a druid do with her forests gone? Her allies incapacitated?

Then again, what would Mabel do?

She would save her brother at all costs. Just like he would have done.

Mabel felt her feral instincts kick in with her plan; they entirely disagreed with the plan. "Stuff it," she growled to herself. With a quick jolt of her staff, she summoned more birds. Two large eagles soared over the castle and began to fly towards her. As they arrived, she turned to her still motionless brother.

"Don't get hurt while I'm gone," she told him. With a quick grasp, she reached inside her robes and pulled out that special arrow. The arrow in her hands, she leapt onto the backs of the eagles, large enough to support her.

Wendy was stirring when she saw the younger girl begin her take-off. "Mabel!?" she shouted, "Mabel what are you doing!?"

"Something stupid and crazy that will totally work!" she yelled back. "_Borrow Primal Aspects_!"

Mabel leapt off the Eagles as a pair of large wings grew from her back, the same color and shape of her comrades now below her. Her staff in one hand and the arrow in the other, she scanned for the dragon, and she spotted it in the clouds, turning its head for her.

"Mabel!" Wendy screamed.

"DONE!" Dipper shouted, the bright ball of blue light resting in his hands, "now, we just have to get that dragon to... where's Soos and Mabel?" Dipper turned and spotted Soos rising up. "Mabel!?" he spun around.

"There!" Wendy pointed up as Soos started trudging over.

"Oh my god," Dipper said quietly. "Mabel! NO!"

Mabel soared right for the head of the dragon, who opened his mouth, about to shoot out a jet of green flames.

Mabel was ready.

"_Winds of Guidance_!"

The arrow was guided by a magical force of wind, and shot right into the mouth of the beast. Fire started out from the inside throat.

A blast so big and bright that the sky itself seemed to vanish erupted from the dragon. The three earthbound adventures covered their eyes.

When they looked back, the dragon's entire first half had been blasted apart. The head was entirely missing, and one of the wings fell to the earth. Among the falling dragon was a single winged figure, tumbling and falling limply.

Dipper screamed like he had never in his life. Running across the fire lit field, his feet pushed him harder than he had ever run. He needed a spell, a saving grace, something to keep her away from the ground she was speeding towards. His sister was so far. So far away.

"_Sky's Gift_!" Dipper roared, silent to his own ears. The spell shot ahead of his hand, a gust of wind intended to act as a buffer for his falling sister.

She fell faster than the spell soared.

Dipper's feet and heart stopped at the same time.

A cloud of dust bounded upwards next to the fallen remains of the dragon.

Emptiness consumed Dipper. He didn't just see it. He refused to believe what he had seen. Nothing would compute, his brain, his consciousness, his very will refused to accept this fate.

Wendy and Soos ran past him, screaming something loudly. He almost fell forward, from their force as they three their weapons to the ground. Dipper watched Wendy slide to a stop by the end of the tail of the ruined creature, and her tears began to fall.

"No," Dipper told himself.

His feet began to move forward again slowly. He saw Soos trying to cast some light from his hands. Wendy was shouting at him, demanding something.

Dipper almost tripped over the claws of the dead dragon. But his unclosing eyes stared ahead. Finally he saw them. Wendy stared to Dipper, quickly lowering what she had been cradling in her arms. She ran to Dipper, her hands on his shoulder. She was telling him something, but what could his ears hear but silence?

"No," Dipper told Wendy, not knowing a word she was saying. It could have been an entirely other language, he didn't care. He pushed past her and saw it.

Mabel. Sprawled on the ground. Her eyes closed. A trickle of blood fell from her nose.

"No," Dipper told his sister.

His knees gave way. Only then, staring down at this sight did it set in.

She was dead.

"NO!" Dipper scrambled closer to her, wanting more than anything to hold her in his own hands, but afraid to damage her further. "NO! WAKE UP! MABEL!" he shouted at her, pulling himself to her face, and asking, begging, praying for her to wake up. "Soos-"

"I... I'm trying," Soos told him between sobs.

"TRY HARDER!" Dipper screamed at him. He looked back to his sister, "No, you don't get to die like that. Not in a game I told you to play that you're not even interested in! You're going to find some stupid boyfriend somewhere that I'll actually like, and you'll get married like you wanted to, and then-"

"Dipper," Wendy's hands reached around his shoulder. He violently pulled away.

"And then I'll be an uncle! I'll probably just then have someone special, and you'll tease me about it for being slow and bad with girls, like you always do!" Dipper told her body, holding her growing cold hands. "Right? You love teasing me!"

"Dipper."

"NO! She gets to tease me again!" Dipper roared at Wendy, standing to angrily challenge her tender tones, "SHE'S GOING TO GET UP AND TEASE ME LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES!"

"She's gone."

"Don't say that," Dipper shook his head, voice and anger struggling to remain, "we can save her!"

Wendy didn't say a thing. She grabbed him forcefully, not giving him a chance to resist. She hugged him tightly, pulling him close. The teenage boy lost his will to fight. The love for the game. Anything that might have held him together against this horrible, horrible sight was lost.

Dipper bawled. He lost his other half.

"I'm trying," Soos said aloud, still trying to use his remaining healing spell to fix Mabel. "Dipper, I-"

"Soos," Wendy told him gently. The large man closer his eyes and nodded, and let his hands fall.

There were now only three left on the remains of the village. Nothing else remained. Ashes and smoke tumbled past them as Dipper sobbed into Wendy, holding her tightly as he could. He needed something to hold, something that was his own.

A flash of light behind Wendy startled the three of them.

It was a portal.

"What?" Wendy sniffled, wiping away a tear that had fallen silently from her face.

"That looks like the Mystery Manor," Soos said as he stood to be next to the others.

"But we didn't win," Wendy said to Soos and Dipper, "how is this, in any way, winning?"

"The game I made called for a victory where peace is established in the region," Dipper quietly explained, "which I guess having everyone dead and no conflict left is registered by this game as 'establishing peace'."

The three stared at the sight that was the empty attic room. No one didn't look at that image wistfully, begging to be back to that reality. The one not in control by a mad demon of power and true insanity.

Dipper saw his bed. And across from it, his sisters bed. It would be empty now. She would never go to bed next to him, telling him how much of a dork he was, and he would never get to reminder her to keep quiet in the morning.

"No." Dipper shook his head at the portal.

"Dipper?" Wendy asked.

"I'm not going back without her," Dipper said, refusing to look behind himself. Instead he approached the portal. "The game saved me a lot of trouble doing this," he stated darkly.

"For what? We're not going back?" Soos asked him.

"No. I won't go back without Mabel," he turned to them, the light of the shimmering portal illuminating him.

"She's dead, Dipper," Soos said sadly.

"Here, yes," Dipper agreed, "but I know for a fact, for a fact," Dipper restated, a building excitement in his chest, his heart beating faster, "there is a hell in this world. An underworld."

"Like Hades?" Wendy checked with him, blinking her still watery eyes.

"Exactly like Hades. Just about all souls go there. To get there you need to either dig forever down, or find yourself a portal to hell. Well," Dipper turned to the portal, "this portal looks more than strong enough to get us into the underworld. Let's just tweak the settings," Dipper lifted his hands and cast dark magic into the shimmering light. The creation changed, as well did the image. Fire began to pour out from the frame of the portal, and a dark, fiery landscape awaited them now instead of a bedroom.

"So, we're going to hell?" Wendy asked her friend as she and Soos stepped up with Dipper.

"Oh yeah," Dipper nodded, "and I think I know exactly where she is. If there is a devil in control of this game, it's Bill Cipher. All I had to do is make sure this sucker opens right in his little chambers."

"Well, if we're going to go into that bad place," Soos gulped, "I'd do it for Mabel or you guys."

"Aw, thanks Soos," Wendy nudged the larger man in armor, who shrugged.

"Just being honest here. We ready?" Soos asked of Dipper. The youngest of the three turned to check with Wendy, who nodded.

"It's about to get even hotter," Dipper sighed and stepped into the portal.

As the three left one realm and journeyed into the other, Dipper's statement wasn't wrong. It got way, way, waay hotter. And drier. And the screams of the damned floated around them.

The had walked onto a massive plateau on a spire of dark red rock. Around them was darkness, spitted with other mountainous spires, sharp and evil looking with their crooked angles. Fire and brimstone shone up through smoke far below them, the only source of real light in this hellish scape.

"De-de-doo-doo," a voice stated from behind them. The three slowly turned to find Bill Cipher in his true triangle form playing with another Mabel. She tried to dark strings as he danced her around like a puppet," once their gone, you and me are going to have to go explore the world together! I wonder what the air out of a car tastes like? That black Smokey stuff? Hm. We'll find out!"

"LET GO OF MY SISTER!" Dipper roared. Bill Cipher jolted in shock, and his eyes caught them and the portal in his vacinity.

"Hey! What the heck-" Bill demanded.

Wendy shot an arrow quickly at the strings, snapping the main holster on Mabel. Dipper rushed forward with Soos as Bill shouted, both of them casting beams of light at the demon.

The yellow demon roared with anger, and suddenly vanished.

"Wait, where did he go?" Soos demanded, looking around the hellish landscape. There were plenty of tall, sharp rocks for him to hide behind.

"Mabel," Dipper ran over and slid to a stop by his sister. Holding her up by the head, he propped her to lay against him. His heart almost burst out from his chest when she fluttered her eyes open. "MABEL!"

"Yo, dork," she weakly smiled. Tears shone down his face as he grabbed her in a true hug, nearly breaking her neck. "GAH! Okay bro, you missed me! Wow!" she leaned up, massaging her neck, "didn't think getting knocked out would cause you to freak out. I just fell like... a hundred feet."

"Mabel, you didn't just get knocked out," Wendy stepped over, helping her up, "you died."

"Nah! Nuh-uh!" Mabel smiled cheekily at Wendy, her arms at her waist.

"Look around, hambone," Soos told Mabel. She did as asked, and with a few blinks of her eyes realized that truthfully, she wasn't where she thought she was.

"Huh. Oh. I died," Mabel rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry?" she asked Dipper, half smiling. He hit her shoulder as had as he could muster. "Ow! That actually hurt!"

"If this hadn't been a game, you would have left me alone without a sister!" he grapped her, "don't you ever do that again!"

"Oh... hey," Mabel's eyes shimmered when she noticed Dipper's trembling lip, "Dipper," she said as she hugged him. "Sorry for scaring you, dude."

"You're okay," Dipper managed to admit, "that's all that matters."

"Right?" Mabel nodded as she let go. She blinked suddenly, her eyes jamming shut. There was a twitched to her head, and Dipper was suddenly worried.

"You okay? Maybe your head just realized you sort of fell all that distance and the pain is about to catch up or something," Dipper said cautiously, putting a hand to her shoulder, "you going to be okay?"

Mabel's head had sunken forward slightly, her hair falling past her face. When she did raise it, Dipper gasped.

"Oh sure, _bro_, "a yellow-eyed Mabel told Dipper, "just peachy! HA!" Mabel slammed her fist into Dipper, lifting him back and flying him into Wendy. Both rolled backwards, nearing the edge of the cliff.

"Mabel!" Soos scolded, "that's totally not what you do when... you... your eyes," Soos noticed as well.

"She's been possessed by Bill!" Dipper shouted as tried standing, recovering from being thrown back.

"Let's see how a druid can handle!" Mabel said with the words of Bill Cipher. She slapped her hands together, and large, thick roots burst out from the ground, and tried coiling around Dipper and Wendy.

"Chill, bro!" Soos shouted and cast a burst of light from his spear. The bright light seared through the roots, allowing Dipper and Wendy a chance to escape and stand.

"_Feral Ties_," Mabel growled, and charged at Soos.

"Seriously, dawg, chill out!" Soos said, blocking and parrying the flurry of attacks that Mabel attacked him with.

"Bill's trying to hurt her!" Dipper shouted as Mabel's body ran around Soos, hitting him in the back with a strong smack of her staff. Soos recoiled, but still remained standing.

"No, he's trying to hurt us!" Soos told Dipper. "What do we do!?"

"I don't know if you have any exorcism spells," Dipper shrugged.

"I'll keep her busy," Wendy announced and ran past Dipper.

"Just don't hurt her! Soos!" Dipper called over his friend. "We have to think of something!"

"That's right, don't hurt the Mabel! Precious sister to Dipper!" Mabel told Wendy while swinging her staff viciously at the redhead, who bowed back and avoided the attack.

"I've dealt with things scarier than a pissed off triangle before," Wendy retorted, blocking the attacks with the side of her axe. The fight was a fast and furious one. Wendy was afraid to injure the girl- unknowing of the consequences of injury or death when in the underworld itself.

"A triangle! Ha! I'm a three dimensional creature now!" Mabel grinned, sweeping out one of Wendy's legs. The half-elf adjusted quickly, spinning in mid air to regain her footing, and landing back on her feet. In the same landing, she pushed out with a foot and slammed her boot into Mabel's chest. "Ow! Haaaahahahaha- That hurt! Well now, I think that's enough messing with the brain and body of this one!"

Mabel's body went limp. She fell to the ground, her staff clattering aside.

"Dipper!" Wendy shouted to her friend. Dipper turned from his discussion from Soos to peer at Wendy.

"What?" Dipper asked. Then a large, armored fist closed on his neck from behind him. "S-s-soos?!"

"Not Soos no more, duude," the words of Bill Cipher teased Dipper, lifting him up easily with one hand and walking him closer to the edge, "now, for a little payback-"

Wendy forgot the safety in this combat. She lifted an arrow out of her quiver and shot on into the elbow of Soos. The man roared in pain, dropping Dipper, who tumbled and slipped on the edge.

"DIPPER!" Wendy shouted as Soos turned, grinning as he ripped out the bloodied arrow.

"I'm okay," Dipper managed, hanging on to the side of the cliff. "Give me a second."

"Hurry!" Wendy pleaded as Soos lifted his shield and approached Wendy. "How can he keep doing this? I thought he was a deal demon?"

"We're in my home turf, you stupids," Soos told them, his yellow eye with black slits for pupils staring at Wendy as he swung once with his spear. Wendy blocked and leapt back. "Without the laws of the world of the living holding me down, I'm practically a god here! Well, a demon god!"

"We'll beat you still," Wendy growled as she again blocked another swing of the spear. This time, she lifted one of her axes as she caught the spear with her bearded axe, and splintered the shaft with the other weapon. Soos snickered and tossed the spear back. There was still the six and half foot tall, three foot wide shield to deal with. Wendy stepped back, realizing he was fast enough to slam her with it, and he was pushing in on her. She noticed the approaching cliff behind her. "DIPPER!"

"_Aspect- weight_!" Dipper called as he rushed up behind Soos, placing his hands on the armor. With a gasp, Soos fell backwards, giving Dipper only a moment to react and leap aside. "Good for water exploring, even better when you use it against heavily armored enemies."

"Right!" Soos agreed, "so maybe what I need to do is... change that?" Soos bounced his eyebrows. Before Wendy or Dipper had a chance to react, Soos gasped and his eyes closed. He was also still.

"He's going to possess one of us!" Dipper told Wendy, looking around. "Dang it! Damn it... which one?"

"I don't know," Wendy shook her head. Half way through a shake, she stumbled, and Dipper gasped. He lifted his hand and slammed a spell into his chest. A blue light wrapped around his body briefly, but then he was free to move.

"_Disarm_!" Dipper shouted and cast a bolt of lightning at Wendy. She stumbled slightly, but only her weapons were truly cast away. One of her axes fell into the darkness beyond the cliff along with her arrows. Only her bow fell past Dipper, sliding behind him. "Wendy?" he tried.

"Wendy's not home at the moment," Wendy looked to Dipper, yellow eyes and a wide smile, "why don't you leave a message and she'll get back to you."

"Bill, why?" Dipper asked as Wendy approached him.

"Why what?"

"Why not me?!" Dipper demanded.

"Well, you see," Wendy lifted a hand to scratch her chin, and then used a sweeping backhanded slap to lift Dipper off his feet, "I wanted to see your face as I took each one of your friends away from one, one by one, before I took you too."

Dipper wiped his face as Wendy lifted up her bow, and pulled back the string, aiming it him.

"Summon Arrow," Wendy sneered. An arrow appeared like smoke into her bow, and then was shot at Dipper. It landed into his leg, and he screamed. "Oh, that looked painful. Can't wait to feel it for myself."

Dipper looked to the injury, and then back to Wendy, her head slightly crooked to the side and still grinning. With a horrible sensation of his leg tightening all at once, he grasped the base of the arrow, and snapped off the rest of the wooden shaft.

"Awww, little bitty pine tree grew up to tolerate pain better," Wendy bent low, cowing him puffed out lips and a mocking baby voice, "maybe when this is all done, I'll tear off Wendy's face and put it on my next Squealer-Squasher. OH! But it'll be called the 'Wendy-Waster'! HAHAHAHA!"

"Bill," Dipper stood up, his bleeding leg shaking a bit, "do what you want."

"Excuse me?" Wendy asked, cupping her elfish ear with a hand, "want to repeat that?"

"Go ahead. Go nuts on me," Dipper growled. Wendy looked around. The two others were still out for the count. Dipper stared down the possessed girl, and suddenly she smiled, tossing down her bow as she nodded.

"You have some stupid plan, don't you?" she asked, approaching him smoothly, "is there a spell that enchanters have that works only when at low health?"

Dipper felt beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Wendy grinned, and quickly landed a powerful kick in the middle of his back. Dipper shouted and fell forward. Wendy wasn't done. She lifted him up, and punched him in the face, drawing blood.

"C'mon then, pine-tree," Wendy demanded, "fight back. Hurt me? Please?" she asked him sweetly as she punched his nose. Dipper shouted in pain, holding his face with his arms. "UGH! I bet its because it's this body, isn't it?" Wendy stood up, away from Dipper, looking at the red-head. You don't want to hurt her?"

"If you want pain," Dipper lifted his swollen face, "just try me."

"Ohhhhhh, you tease me, Pine-tree... well, if it's all that much to you, I'll kill your sleeping friends with your body," Wendy winked and then fell backwards, her eyes falling shut. Dipper got onto his feet as fast as he could, aware that the time between possession and leaving the body was short.

"Enervate!" Dipper cast a spell at Wendy just in time. The spell left his hands and he felt a zap of pain inside his mind. But unlike the others, blue light shone from around him. Like a sheet of blue light slowly covering his body, a spell slowly was put into effect.

"W-what the heck is this!?" a voice demanded inside Dipper's brain.

"I never got to try that spell on the dragon," Dipper told Bill with his own words, "so I cast it... on myself."

"WHAT?!"

"Go ahead and try to do anything without my consent," Dipper told himself as the spell slowly wrapped itself around his body, "because you won't be able to use me without my own say so. Force Of Will, max charge can't be broken... even by you."

"DAMN YOU PINE TREEEE!" the voice inside his head shrunk as Dipper felt his body pulling backwards. White-hot pain jabbed at his insides and Dipper bent backwards, yelling loudly. Then the blue light finally encapsulated him, and exploded.

A small gasp burst forth from the girl nearby Dipper. "What... what happened?" Wendy asked, pushing hair out from her face as she stood up. There, before her was Dipper, bent backwards and trembling. "Dipper?!" she gasped and rushing for him. With a gasp of air that startled her, he bent back to her, breathing heavily.

"Got him," Dipper quietly muttered, "it really worked."

"Dipper, are you okay? I'm so sorry- I couldn't-" she realized the gashes over his face, shoulders, all over his body, and then she also noticed a broken off arrow shaft into his leg. "I... I did-"

"You didn't do any of it," Dipper assured her, resisting the pain coursing through his body as best he could, "It was all Cipher."

"Where is he?" she demanded, her feet scraping against the burning rock, "he didn't leave Mabel or Soos unless he had someone else to..." Wendy slowly looked to Dipper, staring into his eyes, "but... you don't look like he's inside you."

"That's because he doesn't have control. Not yet anyway," Dipper smiled, a loopy smile coming to grow on his face, "remember that spell for the dragon? I never got to use it. But I still had it on reserve it. So... I cast it on myself."

"Yourself?"

"Force of Will: level five control spell. Even dragons and demons can't resist that. At least not initially. Now my body can't do anything without my say so," Dipper grinned, "and Bill can't escape from me either unless I say so either. I got him- GAH!" Dipper clutched his stomach, tears streaking out of his eyes, "but DAMN does it hurt!"

"Dipper," Wendy held his shoulders, trying to help him upright, "it's okay. I can get them up- I have some basic healing skills, right? Medicine and things- and then Soos can burn him out of you!"

"No." Dipper shook his head slowly, his eyes empty, "no Wendy. This has got to end."

"What are you talking about? We got him!" Wendy chuckled, worried that he was crying so calmly. "Dipper, we won!"

"If we did win, we would have gone home already," Dipper reminded her, "and we'd be safe. Bill isn't going to give in so easily... and he'll kill us all and just use our bodies to wander around and hurt others."

"Okay, so we stop him, like we just did-"

"Wendy, please listen!" Dipper groaned as he clutched his stomach again, gasping for air, "god! It literally feels like he's ramming his corners into my stomach and heart! GAH!"

"Okay- okay buddy, I'm listening," Wendy told him, trying to keep her voice even. "Talk to me."

"I... I think we can kill him here," Dipper told her," actually kill him. Not banish him, but really end him once and for all. So no one ever has to deal with him again."

"How?" she demanded, her eyes begging Dipper for the answer.

He smiled sadly, tears falling freely from his face. Not from pain, or agony, although those two were constantly being felt in his entire body. He wasn't going home. Dipper lifted his finger and drew a line across his own neck. Wendy's eyes shot wide and she gasped.

"No."

"Wendy-"

"Absolutely not!" She demanded of him, pulling him by his robes closer to her, feeling her breath on his face, "we lost your sister today! Dipper, I don't care what stupid, heroic thing you plan on doing, but I'm not interesting losing you!"

"If we don't kill me soon, he'll have control of me, and all the magic my character can control. Wendy, you're not in the best shape either," Dipper told her, indicating the scorch marks along her hands and face, "you think I can just stand by and watch as not only he wins, but kills you and my sister and our best friend?"

Wendy shook her head, her lip trembling. Dipper's followed suit, and he let out a raspy cry. Of course he didn't want to die. But he just saw his sister die and all his friends get possessed and try to murder him all in one day. This was the damage Bill Cipher was willing to commit. He would never let him get away with that if he could. Not a chance in... well, in hell.

Meaning he'd have to die.

The redhead's hands pulled down on his robes as her knees gave away. The fell together. "Dipper, please," Wendy begged him, "c'mon man, think of something else. Anything else."

"We can't pass this up," Dipper shrugged, his heart breaking at her sight. She was crying now, her ash covered face with trails of tears making canyons against her skin.

"I don't want you to go, dude," Wendy told him, "you've always found a way out of crud like this! I can't let the guy who's made two of my summers the most exciting, memorable times of my life just die because he thinks he needs to!"

Dipper felt air rush out of him in a strong gasp. What a time for a compliment, but that didn't stop him from feeling slightly more numb to the pain bouncing angrily inside him. This was really it then. He knew he had gotten her to the point of acceptance. Part of his vision was blurring, and she clutched his face, looking into the eye.

"No! Dipper!" she begged, staring into his face.

As yellow tint began to spread into his left eye, he chuckled dumbly. "I'm trying my best. You've only got a few more seconds before he's got me," Dipper told her, shaking his head.

Wendy stood shakily. Behind her was her last hatched, the one not thrown into the abyss of magma around them. It fell from her fingers at first and she shook her head. "I can't do it!"

"Wendy," Dipper gently called to her, "tell Mabel I'm sorry."

Wendy nodded and she grasped the axe firmly in her hand. Dipper wondered if he had enough strength to resist longer, give him a chance to say a few more things to the girl he loved. One of his eyes was almost entirely darkened now, and he felt a roar of triumph inside his head. The teen growled, and suppressed the hostile takeover. "If you're going to do it," Dipper gasped, "you need to do it now!"

"I... okay," she stepped over, holding the axe to her side. "Dipper, I'm never going to forget you."

"I know," Dipper nodded, and then had one more thing to get off his chest. "Wendy, I still like you," Dipper cringed as he said it finally, a burst of admittance from a moment of weakness. She closed her eyes painfully, but refused to make a noise, looking away just for a moment. "I... I love you. Just, you know, keep being yourself forever."

She finally opened her eyes and nodded.

Dipper watched her axe climb into the air, risen for the dirty, horrible deed about to befall himself. It was fitting, he supposed, to be the one that could end Bill Cipher. The demon had tricked him once before into almost killing his sister, tormenting him, Soos and Mabel in a realm of nightmares. It was here, in hell itself, when the creature of evil finally underestimated Dipper's will that he could end it all.

The axe fell.

Dipper closed his eyes as wind rushed by him.

"ALRIGHT! ENOUGH!"

A deafening roar of sound and noise forced Dipper to open his eyes. The universe was chaos of bright color and sound. No longer did he carry the markings of war and conflict, or the unbearable pain of the monster inside him. Wendy was in her normal clothing, and Mabel and Soos stood up, checking their state in amazement. All the injuries never existed- they all were in perfect health. Even though the reality around them blew past them like an asteroid hurtling through space, they stood like an invisible platform beneath them suspended them in space. With a tiny 'pop' sound, Bill Cipher appeared before them, slowly clapping his hands to Dipper, looking angered.

"Fine. Good job. Woohoo," Cipher was clearly not a graceful loser, "you've shown me the first thing I'm going to do when I have a chance to alter human identity- remove all sense of selflessness. God! That word just SUCKS! Like kittens without spikes; just horrible!"

Dipper glared at the Triangle. He had been ready for it. Certainly, he was glad to be alive, but a chance to kill that cretin would have been worth it. Then again, Mabel tackled him and hugged him tightly.

"You did it! Of course you would you huge, stupid, lovably nerd!" Mabel told him as she lifted him up and squeezed, crushing his body like it were made of straw.

"Ow! Mabel!" Dipper gasped, "we're still dealing with him?" he nodded to the upset floating Triangle.

"Oh. Right. Jerkus-maximus here," Mabel turned around, scouring at the demon.

"We go back," Dipper told Bill Cipher as the four gathered, triumphant in their victory, "and you hold your end of the deal. Part of that secret."

"Okay, okay, Pine tree," Cipher, tipped his hat with a curt nod, floating away, "I should warn you though, these kinds of deals make you think everyone's trying to kill you."

"I can deal with that," Dipper retorted

"Now fess up!" Mabel pointed at him forcefully.

"Alrighty, just so you two know," around Cipher, a series of lines emerged from his three sides, moving outward from him and forming a sectioned off circle, "no one in town is who they seeeeeeem," Cipher told them, as imagines flowed into the circle. A glowing smooth stone, crossed hands with wrappings on them, a broken pair of glasses, a skull with a single eye in its right socket, a axe with a broken handle, a punching fist with fire streaking behind it, a person in astronaut gear, a fancy bow tie, and a long thin scarf all appeared in respective slots.

"What the-" Soos stumbled for words as one of the sections flashed with light, and then each section to its right flashed in procession.

"Remember, stability is a delusion, all knowledge is relative, cook your own food, BYYYYYYYYE!" Bill Cipher screamed for the last time before he, and his circle flashed into bright light and vanished. The spiraling universe also went with it, and the four found themselves back on their rears, staring at the three ones Dipper had rolled what felt like a whole day ago. Dipper checked a clock in the room by his desk. A minute hadn't passed. Maybe not even a full thirty seconds.

The four sat on the floor, pondering their encounter. Their battles. What they had done, and what they had accomplished. Magical feats likened to those told in legends, fought monsters that Greek mythology feared, and braved lands so dark that the four of them wouldn't look at the concept of 'hell' as the same ever again.

"Well, that was fun," Soos admitted, nodding his head. "I think I'm mildly scarred for life and that I'm never going to play a fantasy game again too. Hm. I'm going to go downstairs actually. Clear my head."

As he stood, Mabel joined him. "Ditto, dude. My brain is all heavy and 'whoa' with crazy thoughts. Being dead was weird."

Dipper let the two pass, staring at the tree dice. The worse possible start. Baddest of bad rolls. They did it.

There was movement to his right. Wendy also silently stood up.

Heat rose instantly to his neck and behind the ears. He had told her. It had been expected after all- he was going to have died. Maybe in hindsight it made sense that by killing Cipher they would have been brought back, but the moment had won him over, along with his sense of secrecy.

"Wendy," he said abruptly, standing and turning to her. She stood by the door, and turned to him. There was no readable look about her. "I just wanted to apologize."

"Huh?"

"I... I said that, that thing, you know?" Dipper took a deep breath, "I wanted to say something meaningful just before I died," Dipper tried lying, wanting to cover his tracks, "and I feel really bad about it. I, uh, I just wanted to let you know-"

"Dipper, stop it," she told him. His mouth sealed instantly, like a vacuum had been created between his lips. She had meant it. Her eyes stared at him, investigating his form. "You're a good liar, but you're not that good of a liar."

Dipper swore under his breath, feeling the heat crawl into his face. Sweat would be forming soon. "Uh..." he had broken contact with her stares, but after searching the room for a moment, hopeful for an easy answer, he found none and returned her gaze. "You're right. I meant it."

Wendy pursed her lips together. Dipper already could feel his heart sink. All he wanted to avoid was hearing the words she had used three years ago on him again.

"You- you know, I just, I really don't want to change anything, right?" Dipper admitted, shrugging as he put on his best smile, his nervous energy piling on top of one another. "Cus, you know, I just wanted to keep hanging around with you," a mild lie, but hopefully small enough to get by her keen senses, "and who cares what my feelings are? You know? They're just feelings!"

"Don't be like that, dude," Wendy told him, taking a step closer. Her green eyes blazed like beams of sun to Dipper, wide and endlessly beautiful. It hurt so much to force himself to believe that all he really wanted was to just hang with her like usual, but if it meant to continue being nearby her, he would take that to nothing.

"We can still be friends," Dipper told her, and more importantly himself. A knot formed in his throat. It hurt enough for him to want to gasp, but he remained vigilant as he stared at her. Wendy had not changed much from the moment they had stopped to talk.

Then it hit Dipper. She wasn't blank. She was thinking. Her brow was slightly furrowed, her mind deep in thought. She then smiled, and turned.

"You know," she turned back to him as she left the room, "we can do this again."

"We... huh?"

"Yeah dude. Get another game that _isn't_ cursed, and I'll be up for more nerd-ventures," she told him, "It was a lot of fun playing with you." Wendy disappeared past the wall.

Dipper was left standing in the exact same spot he had been the entire time.

She hadn't rejected him.

She hadn't told him they can't hang out.

She didn't even say that she was too old and he too young.

What did any of it mean then? She hadn't said anything except for Dipper not to hit himself too hard over the head for admitting to it. She didn't acknowledge anything else. It was as if... she knew already? No- that couldn't be right. Dipper had made certain to change his ways- maintain a firm grasp on his visible cues for feelings towards her.

Unless.

All the lightning in the world could have struck Dipper in that moment; he gasped and jolted upwards as his mind found the answer that he had never dared dream of. It was too much to comprehend, and still so hopeful that all his fingers felt static and his body felt heavy. He knew it now.

There was a chance.

"Dork!"

Dipper yelped as Mabel stepped into the room, drinking a glass of cold water.

"You done looking like Wendy rejected you again?" Mabel smirked as she gargled water and swallowed it happily. "Ah, nothing like a refreshing glass of water after a venture into hell itself."

"Mabel, what do you mean-" Dipper started, looking to his sister intently.

"Dude, you want to keep your voice down when you talk to Wendy in a wooden house," Mabel sneered at him, and flicked some water off her finger and onto his face, "whop!"

"I- you heard?"

"Mmmmm pretty much everything," Mabel nodded, and sipped loudly. "So, what did you tell her? You know, while I was MIA."

Dipper looked to his sister. Damn it, even if they had beaten Cipher, he had still lost something- his security of his secret. Mabel was easily the last person he had wanted to tell her, as her tendency to tease and belittle was seconded by her desire to force couples to marry one another.

"I told her-"

Dipper was cut off. His phone buzzed. From inside his pocket he retrieved his phone, flipping it open. He had missed a call, but there was a voice mail. Activating it, he listened intently on his mobile device.

"This is the Gravity Falls Town Hall. We've collected your required material. You can drop by at any time and collected them for a period up to three days. Thank you. Have a wonderful day."

Dipper slapped his phone shut. He had them.

"Mabel, we got the information!" he told her, beaming and giddy. Without a chance of protest from his sister, he grabbed her hand and started running for the exit. "Let's go!"

* * *

I'll be honest guys.

This was some of the most fun I've had with this entire season. So, uh, if there's enough support for it, I may come up with some other non-canon bits that involve the adventures of Dipperthur the Wise, Soos of Mission Soos, The Red Phantom, and Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, Esquire. Sounds fun, doesn't it? :)

Oh, pay attention to the Cipher wheel. It's impooorrtant.

Two more episodes, guys. Then season two. :D

(A massive black dragon swoops down and eats EZB. Fitting.)

* * *

**Ollph orpv Yroo iloovw z mzgfizo lmv uli srh 'ozhg olmtvi gszm z hrmtov vkrhlwv' iloo. Dszg z olhvi.**

**-****GSRMP ZTZRM, WFNNB. R'OO YV YZXP! R'OO YV DZGXSRMT!-**


	18. The New Circuit: Part 1

The car door slammed shut behind Dipper and Mabel as they hurried from the black vehicle. It was Friday, and all the construction workers were finally gone, meaning Dipper and Mabel could analyze the piles of papers in manila folders to their hearts content. As Dipper felt his thumb ride across the wad of paper, his sister put a hand before him.

"Hey, bro, can I talk serious for a sec?" Mabel asked, eyeing her brother.

"What? You aren't going to start with asking why, I don't know, I'm not wearing a hat yet and how I look silly, or why we don't have more farm animals living with us?" Dipper tried, halting his progress towards the building before them.

"I was going to get to that later," Mabel shrugged. She seemed kind of nervous, something Dipper honed in on and quickly adopted a willingness to listen. "I was thinking about what Bill Cipher told us."

"Uh... which part?" Dipper scratched his head with his empty hand, "that we should cook our own food?"

"Dipper, you remember what he said-" she placed the papers on the car hood and made a triangle with her fingers, which she placed over her eyes, adopting his voice as well, "no one in town is who they seeeeeem!" she dropped her fingers and looked to him intently. "Remember?"

Dipper nodded solemnly. "Not something I was particularly happy to hear. He's a jerkwad, but he technically doesn't lie, he just leaves parts of the picture out."

"Like the one time about Grunkle Stan and Grandpa-" Mabel started.

Dipper put a finger to his lips, checking the door behind them. The topic of the first summer here was a dark one. Granted, it had all ended up on good terms, but the sacrifice their grand uncle had to make was one that Dipper was not fond of bringing up. Cipher called out the coming storm three years ago, and it was barely prevented by Stan's choice at the end of it all.

"You're right," Dipper continued, "if he brought up something like that, there's something going on. I just kind of wonder what. Have we gotten a clue that people in town are in together with something?"

"I haven't even seen posters for special clubs or nothin'," Mabel shrugged, "and Grenda and Candy told me it's been boring here recently."

"So then what the heck did he mean," Dipper stroked the combined file of papers with his thumb.

"But, you know, maybe this is one of this mysteries that the twins have to solve on their own?" Mabel suggested. Her brother stared at her, and the papers on the hood of his car. She wasn't talking about sharing information with just anyone. Her eyes were looking towards the Mystery Manor.

"You don't really think-" Dipper started.

"I don't know what to think Dipper," Mabel admitted, "but if you knew that anyone in town could be part of a huge conspiracy, _anyone_, would we let them in on this?" she asked, picking up the pages behind her, "would you?"

"... no," Dipper nodded, smiling to his sister in agreement, "you're right. Smart."

"What can I say? Brains like an elephant!" Mabel used her hands and the folder to make big floppy motions next to her head. "Brruuugh!"

Dipper turned with his sister towards the entrance to the building, pondering what possible insinuations could be found inside. He would be looking for a particular move in or move out. A significant death he could label as supicious- something that would explain why there was a highly-advanced robotic Tambry replacement walking around town.

"Hey guys," Wendy waved to them as they passed through, "any luck?"

"We, uh, haven't looked at anything yet," Dipper shrugged, fighting the urge to smile as he looked to her face. Only an hour had passed since the debacle with Strongholds and Serpants, and he didn't want to remind her of his feelings. Not that it probably mattered, as he reasoned with himself, but what the heck. Play it safe.

"We're going to do super-analysis of crazy nerd stuff and numbers! Lots of numbers!" Mabel announced, "so secretive and dangerous that the Town Hall itself had to keep it safe... until now," the girl twin grinned, looking at folder, "your time is up, secrets."

Wendy laughed and Dipper allowed him self to smile, but wouldn't laugh with her. Keep it together.

"I heard the sounds of amusement," Grunkle Stan pointedly asked as he poked his head through the door, "is anyone being made fun of I can get on board with?"

"Not this time, you slow poke," Mabel grinned as she shook her head.

"Agh. Darn. Well, while I'm here, I need someone to get onto the roof and fix the wind thingy on the roof," Stan announced to the room, "Soos!"

"In a minute!" the muffled voice of the handyman called from elsewhere, more than likely the bathroom.

"Ugh. Okay, last one goes," Stan quickly pushed a finger onto his nose. Wendy and Dipper were quick, as Mabel was busy looking at a sparkly post cards. "Mabel, you're up."

"Huh? Aww rattle-snatchers!" Mabel barked angrily as she turned around and headed back out the front door.

"I'll try to get the boring math part done first," Dipper told her as he walked away, moving for the stairs.

"Oh, got the town data or whatever, huh?" Stan asked Dipper, "anything new developing in the world of dangerous people-replacing robots?"

"Nothing yet. I got a tip thought, something I'm not sure sounds too good," Dipper admitted, "and I'm not sure I trust him either. I'll let you know if something happens."

"Well, uh, you guys remember tomorrow you're heading out, right?" Grunkle Stan asked, scratching the back of his neck as he shoved a thumb over his shoulder at the calendar. Indeed, they were on the last full day they would be residing here. "So, you know, in case that you figure this thing is unsolvable or stuff, maybe we could go, I don't know, go fishing again, or whatever. Nothing crazy or expensive. I'm not rich... that rich."

Dipper stared at his uncle, a shocked smile on his face. Dipper must have gotten his horrible lying habits from Grunkle Stan. He wanted to play it off nonchalantly, but his elder uncle had just asked for them to spend some quality time together. Before they left, to go out to the lake again, like they had once done. Dipper nodded.

"That'll be fun," Dipper said as he turned up the stairs, leaving a more pleased grand uncle behind him.

Once up the stairs, Dipper made to his room. The cursed SnS pieces were all still there, and so he lifted them and shoved them all into his trash can in the corner of the room. "To be burned at a later date," Dipper told himself.

With the folder tucked under his arm, he tossed the papers on his desk and gently moved the cylinder aside. Fingers creeping over the front folder page, Dipper nervously opened the first page. Figures, data numbers, a whole mess of collected and improperly organized materials presented itself for him.

Several were the same- power usage of the town, crime rate, accident and insurance claims, he skimmed over those to see if anything changed. No, even the same missing week, the exact same week of missing data was present. December tenth to the seventeenth were all missing from three years ago. Weird.

Dipper flipped some more pages and found what he was hoping to discover: human based information. Demographics. The numbers he didn't know. The first thing he looked to was job openings and calls for work. The numbers went all the way back to five years ago, and then, like the other data, stopped suddenly at the tenth and continued seven days after that. Yet something seemed off for Dipper.

After the data continued, there was no more job openings. No one was fired, no any new listings offered.

"Weird," he flipped the page. A flutter of his heart told Dipper he was looking at the chart for movings in and out of Gravity Falls. Five years ago, for the first two pages it seemed okay. Then, once again on the tenth all data was cut out. No one was recorded moving in or out of Gravity Falls once the seventeenth was passed. All the way until last month.

"The heck," Dipper looked at the page closer, maybe missing a data crucial to the chart. People were always moving. Kids growing up, elders traveling; something was missing from this.

A knock on the window had Dipper whip his head to the right. Mabel was swinging from the shingles of the roof above, waving at him with her upside down hair.

"Lemme in!" she asked as she grinned at him.

"You could have walked inside," Dipper told her as he walked over and pushed the window open.

"That's for lamers! I am a setter of trends. And the new trend is WINDOW ARRIVALS!" Mabel told him as she flipped inside with a dramatic spin in mid air. "Ha-ha!"

"Okay, calm down Robin Hood," Dipper snickered as he walked from her to the desk, "and come over here and look at these." Mabel followed his suggestion, approaching his desk with a little skip in her step. "So, all of them so far have that same missing week in the data. Not even a 'data unavailability'. Just like they cut it out, or it never existed. And check this- after that date, December the seventeenth, I've noticed nothing seems to... change," Dipper pointed to the chart for moving people, "see? After that, no one moves."

"That is kind of googly-weird," Mabel nodded, resting herself on Dipper's shoulder, "what's next?"

"Uh, births and- WAIT," Dipper scoffed as his eyes glanced once over the paper and knew something was wrong. "That can't be right!"

"What?!" Mabel demanded, as Dipper was blocking off the sight of the paper with his head.

"Mabel, look here," he pointed to the births and deaths within Gravity Falls. "Five years ago, a few deaths but with more births. Just like every small town in the USA. Then we hit the week here," he pointed to the strange gap on the next page, "and look..." his finger slid to the bottom of the chart, where both deaths and births had the same number.

"Zero?" Mabel asked blinking, "you mean no one has died and no one has been born in the entire three years we've been gone?"

"Since that December, yes," Dipper nodded, "but that can't be right!" he turned to her, "three years of no deaths or births!? Wait... Have we seen any babies this entire week?" Mabel looked around the room, thinking. Her mind scanned memories for cute things she had seen. As he eyes widened, Dipper read the answer. "We haven't."

"What does that mean!?" Mabel needed to know, "like, how do people just stop, you know, loving fat little babies?"

"I... I don't know," Dipper then looked to the cylinders. His eyes lingered on them, and a possibility flashed into his mind. Something he hadn't considered. "Wait... Mabel, we found one in the funeral home, right?"

"Yeah, that's right," Mabel nodded, "and what's his face gave us the second one- with the dogs?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "and the third one came from Tambry. Mabel, let's pretend that Robots don't break or fall apart after years of neglect. What would a robot be capable of doing?"

"What... like, anything?" Mabel scoffed, uncertain how to answer that.

"Anything a person could?"

"I... yeah," Mabel's brain triggered a thought, and she saw that same idea in her brother's eyes, "oh no. People could have been dying, and someone's been making robot replacements of them?"

"Uh... not exactly," Dipper scratched his hair, "I think I have an idea. We'll need to grab those and power them up again," Dipper pointed to the three batteries next to him, and Mabel grabbed them hastily.

"Last time we took those anywhere-"

Dipper cut off his sister quickly, collecting his papers back into the folder, "we'll be careful with them this time. Anything that radiates energy like that we'll steer clear of."

"Well... okay. But I get to hold them!" Mabel told him firmly, pocketing the rods in a pocket in her sweater.

"Let's go sneak these by something and power them up," Dipper announced.

The two, with their supplies in hand, left their rooms and headed downstairs. Dipper and Mabel both spotted the television on in the living room, unattended and unwatched. Mabel side-stepped closer, and let the batteries begin their drawing of power, distributed amongst the three rods.

With that out of the way, they walked out of the gift shop hurriedly, uncertain of what to say to the cashier. Soos was walking in as they exited, saying something about how Stan wanted to know where Mabel had vanished to.

"So, first plan of action?" Mabel asked her brother, who nodded for her to walk closer to the edge of the woods. He seemed worried about this idea of his, and sighed before turning to her.

"What you did to Tambry a few days ago," Dipper stepped away from his sister, "you need to try it on me."

"Say whaaaat?!" Mabel cried out. "Are you kidding me, bro!?"

"No, I'm not."

"Dude, I could zap you into a robot forever! You'd be stuck in the awkward stages of life for all eternity!" Mabel told him worriedly.

"We need to find out if these things do actually zap people into robots, or if you just happened upon a robot by luck," her brother told him with a worried glance past her to the Mystery Manor. "I'll be the test subject. Try firing at me."

"No way dude!" Mabel crossed her arms, "I have almost killed a pixie this week, possibly turned a random snarky ex-friend of a friend into a roboy, I've _died_,-"

"To be fair, you didn't really die," Dipper pointed out.

"-and now you want me to possibly turn you into a robot as well?!" Mabel concluded, angered by his agreeing to her words. "Are you acting stupid just to make me angry or have you become stupid, which will make me angry!?"

"Mabel. If we don't figure out what those things do, we could do a lot worse. We're alone, in a controlled setting... sort of," Dipper admitted fault as he looked around the woods, "it's the best we can do. We'll be alone here, and I'm certain... that if I do become a robot," Dipper swallowed, "that we can find a way to reverse it."

"Dipper, are you sure?" Mabel looked worriedly to her brother.

"Yeah. Sure. Positive. I mean," Dipper shrugged, "there's always magic we can fall back to. Maybe a spell or something."

"I don't like how not-sure you sound about this," Mabel glowered at him.

"Mabel-"

"Oh, okay, fine!" Mabel removed the three brightly glowing cylinders, "but if you drive back to mom with a USB port on your neck, she's not getting an answer from me!"

"Just do it," Dipper closed his eyes and awaited.

Mabel stared at her helpless brother before her. As always, he wasn't entirely wrong. Certainly, if these bar-things did turn people into robots, that's what was going to happen to him. Then again, if Tambry had just been a robot, what did that mean it would do to humans? She still had no idea. What if it killed him? Burnt out his eyes? Made him go insane? Erased his memory?

Mabel swallowed and looked to her hands, ready to use them before she lost her will to participate in this made science experiment.

She wasn't the only thing willing to participate.

The three cylinders were actually floating in her hands, orbiting around one another in a snychronous patter.

"D-D-Dipper," Mabel struggled to speak.

"Just do it," her brother replied, still not opening his eyes.

"I'm not doing anything, but-" Mabel tried explaining, but she was cut off.

"We need to figure out what they do. Just zap me and be ready to drag me back to Grunkle Stan-"

"DIPPER!" she roared, "LOOK!"

His eyes shot open, and he gasped. No longer were they orbiting around one another, but instead they were circling an invisible spot two feet in front of Mabel's chest. Slowly, their points all focused in on the central point, and they circled it faster and faster. A blur of light was created, and a whir of energy was being built up. Crackles of static and lightning were zapping the trees and ground, nearly missing Mabel and Dipper, both stunned as they watched the three perform this brilliant dance.

The tips finally touched, and the three stopped instantly; one facing directly skyward and the other two pointing down at and angle- pointing to tips of a triangle.

A blast of blue light and electricity shot out and struck pierced Mabel. The sound it created was deep and resonant, vibrating the air like a horrible blast roar of a dinosaur yet discovered. It soared all the way pasted her and zoomed through the trees, as fast as light itself.

"MABEL!"

Dipper barely had time to trace the light fly by as he ran towards his collapsing sister. The three floating cylinders dropped from their solid position in the air. She hit the floor, her hair falling out around her. Dipper barely made it to her side when she opened her eyes with a gasp.

"WHAT YEAR IS IT!?" Mabel demanded, grabbing Dipper's shirt. "Oh. Sorry bro."

"Gah! Mabel!" Dipper sighed as he slid down next to her, but her grip was consistent. "Let go!"

"That... Dipper, that beam," Mabel breathed quickly, scanning her chest. Her clothing, her skin, her body- it was all fine. Yet she seemed entirely shaken, "I saw into that beam."

"What?!" Dipper asked her, sliding closer, "what did you see?"

"Words... numbers... some sort of panicked shout..." Mabel slowly shook her head, unable to entirely grasp what she had seen, "names of places I've never heard of. Oh, dude," Mabel's face screwed up and she held her head, "OW."

"Mabes?" Dipper checked her as best her could, worried something was hurt.

"My head dude. OUCH!" she yelled as she punched the ground with her fists, smashing tiny twigs into the air, "I just feel like someone shoved a book into my brain."

"W-what?!"

"Like... those words, those places... I kind of understand them," Mabel blinked, "wait, I also saw something else. I... was flying through the woods. It was like I was that beam itself," she lifted a shaking hand and moved it side to side, as if miming she was a flying hand, "and light and I were the same thing. Then I went through this wall, and I found someone."

"You found someone?" Dipper asked.

"It was the deputy," Mabel told him, "that's when I stopped."

Dipper looked at her. If the amount of possibilities raging through his head were right, not only had Mabel seen through the beam of light, but instead of passing through her like it had done, it had ended with Deputy Durland. It ended, like it had with Tambry. It had passed through Mabel, but not the other two.

Dipper wondered if there was something in common with Tambry and Deputy Durland.

"We need to go," the brother told Mabel, letting her up with a helping hand, "up you go Sis."

"Right," Mabel nodded as she was lifted up by Dipper. "Wait," she reached down and picked up the three cylinders. "Don't want to leave these behind."

"I almost wish we could," Dipper told her.

The two ran out of the edge of the woods, and Mabel finally was able to get Dipper to agree to riding the motorcycle without qualm. The two hopped on, Mabel declaring herself fine to drive it herself, and the sped off from the lot, whipping down the drive together.

A easily illegally sped drive later, Mabel screeched to a halt with Dipper in front of the house she spotted in the distance.

"You're sure it's this one?" Dipper asked her, looking at it carefully. There was no patrol car visible, but there was a garage.

"Oh yeah," she nodded as she kicked out the bike stand and turned off the engine. "This is it dude."

The twins nodded to one another and approached the quaint looking home. It was small, bland, and had a half-second story to its side, making the home nonsymmetrical. There were a few plastic garden gnomes on the yard. Mabel let herself kick one gently over, even after Dipper gave her a shake of his head in disapproval.

"Okay," Mabel adjusted her sweater, and knocked on the door, no door-bell visible.

"Hopefully this isn't going to be as bad as I think it could be," Dipper quietly added to his sister, who nodded in reply. There was a scrambling of movement on the other side of the door. Then the door swung open, and Sherriff Blubs was revealed, half in his uniform, half in his boxers.

"What they- what are you kids doing here?!" he demanded, pulling up his dress pants from his ankles.

"Uh... we're here to see Deputy Durland?" Mabel asked, looking over the disheveled police officer. "What are you doing here in his house?"

"We had a sleep over," the Sherriff bluntly said, "watching some good 'ol cop movies together. Nothing weird or strange that people don't see every day, you know?" The sherriff was on edge, and looked behind himself. He slowly removed his sunglasses as he leaned closer to the twins. "Say, you guys believe in crazy things? Things you swear aren't possible?"

The Pines twins exchanged a look. "Show us."

He glanced once more between the two of them, and the nodded. Stepping inside, the twins followed him to what seemed to be the living room. There, floating in mid-air, was Deputy Durland.

"Oh my god," Dipper gasped as Mabel stepped past him, rushing to the side of the stiffened man.

"He's just like Tambry," Mabel told him, "his insides are all glowy!"

"Tell us what happened," Dipper demanded of the Sherriff, who seemed closed to tears.

"We were just sitting down together, going to watch some more of 'Dog Meets Force', you know," Sherriff rolled his hands in mid air, "that one about the golden retriever who becomes an ace detective."

"Sure," Dipper nodded, never having seen or heard of it before.

"We were having a great time, and then this light just hit him through the wall," Sherriff removed his glasses fully, wiping away a tear from his eye, "and he just sort of stopped. Wouldn't speak, or laugh, or nothing. Just sat there for a few minutes. Then said some weird-o words and now this!" he pointed to the floating man.

"Words?" Mabel demanded, "like what?"

"I don't remember," Blubs admitted, "something about memory charges and strange things. What's happened to him?"

Dipper stepped closer, following Mabel's progress to the floating man. His eyes were shut closed, just like Tambry. Durland was floating perfectly parallel to the ground, his body rigid, like Tambry. Even the blue glowing cylinder that had emerged from Tambry was now floating above an opened chest cavity that seemed in place with a robot creation.

All just like Tambry.

"We don't know. Sherriff," Dipper turned to him, "something is happening in town. This isn't the first time that this has happened," Dipper admitted, against the warning hisses of Mabel. This was getting a little to big to keep just between the two of them.

"What- more people have been robot-i-fied?" the Sherriff asked.

"Yes. One of them... you met her on the night. Tambry. She had been turned into a robot, or... we think replaced by a robot," Dipper admitted to the Sherriff, "like someone is taking away the real people and switching them with perfect replicas."

"But that's impossible," Sherriff Blubs spluttered, "I've been around my pal for ages! I'd notice if something weird was going on!"

"We heard that one too," Mabel told him kindly, stepping away from the floating man, "but they aren't exactly human, are they? I mean, he will wake up soon after that," Mabel pointed to the battery, "is removed. He'll be confused, and he won't even know what is going on. It'll be bad."

"They... wait, you mean to say they aren't even aware they' robots?" Blubs blustered.

"It's complicated," Dipper struggled to explain. "I think they're soo well programmed that they can't even tell that they're robots. Some crazy work went into these guys."

"How... how do you know about this all?"

The Twins again exchanged looks. Mabel stepped forward, and held out the cylinders she had collected. The three small objects glinted and clicked against one another as the sheriff inspected them against her hands. His eyes widened as he glanced to his officer friend across the room.

"These are more we've found," Mabel told him, "we don't know how many there may be."

"But how did you know that Durland was one a, uh, robot-man?" Blubbs demanded.

There was the million dollar question, and the one the twins hadn't had to explain. In truth, there was a good chance it was their fault that the beam struck Durland at all, but there wasn't any proof to suggest it, aside from their own words. Then again, this was the man in power in the town, and he would be more than capable of putting them behind bars if he thought there was more going on here then just a coincidental stopping by.

"We... think we may have accidentally found him by using these to create a beam," Mabel slowly said as she and Dipper both grimaced, "and caused this all to happen."

"I... hand me one of them doo-hickies," Blubs asked.

Mabel held out her hand, offering the sheriff a chance to take one. The moment his fingers touched the surface, she regretted her choice.

He was shocked with the same powerful light blue lightning that coursed out of the four from before. Sheriff Blubs body was thrown far back, slamming into a wooden cabinet with a heavy slam. Glass and splintered wood fell past him as he slammed into the ground.

Dipper and Mabel stood rooted to the spot, their mouths wide open.

"Oh... oh no..." Mabel gasped.

"What did you do!?" Dipper demanded.

"ME!?" Mabel turned on him, fear, panic, and anger coursing through her as she rounded on her brother, "this was your idea!"

"You zapped him!"

"I didn't have any control over these!"

"Mabel, he just touched it and was thrown back like it was a live wire!" Dipper scolded her. "What happened!?"

"I don't know, now stop acting like I'm the criminal here!" Mabel roared at him, and Dipper relented.

"Right, sorry!" he apologized and ran past her to the sheriff.

"Is he okay?" Mabel asked.

"He's, uh, not really doing anything... I have some sort of heartbeat, I think. Mabel, I didn't plan on having-"

"Computing Memory Module out of synch. Ejecting system memory charge, please prepare a newer charge," Blubs stated from below Dipper, "initializing ejection."

Dipper stepped back. He couldn't believe it. He refused to. How could it be possible?

"No," Mabel shook her head as the three cylinders fell from her grasp.

Sheriff Blubs had started to float. His arms and legs slowly stiffened as some unknown energy lifted him, like his deputy across the room, into the air. Effortlessly suspended, he was watched by the twins, horror dawning on their faces as he too opened by the stomach, and revealed a large glowing inside. Exactly identical to how they remembered it days ago, a blue cylinder floated above him, and remained stationed there.

"No... no way," Dipper shook his head, falling back.

"Uh, Dipper?" she asked, falling to her knees.

"I... three?" Dipper gasped, "three this entire time?!"

"Dipper?"

"What... how long has this-"

"Dipper!" Mabel called, and her brother whipped around to her. She was picking up the cylinders. "We should go before someone finds us."

He stared at her, lost in his head. Then her words reached his thoughts, and he nodded. But as he stood, he ran to both the Sheriff and Deputy, and grabbed their cylinders quickly. Their lights began to shut down and they slowly descended to the ground, their stomachs closing as the twins ran out the front door.

As soon as Dipper shoved the two into his pocket and jumped onto the bike behind Mabel, he shouted to her as she floored the gas, "Get us somewhere safe and quiet!"

The bike roared to life and she sped off. There was a few places of rectitude. But of them, they needed someplace trustworthy. With a quiet irony the two agreed on a spot-the museum in Gravity Falls. Once they parked and walked inside, they found the eye-room, opened a secret compartment, and walked inside. The barren rooms of the former Society of the Blind Eye were all but dark and cob-web ridden.

"Get the lights," Dipper pointed to a switch nearby Mabel. She jerked her shoulder up and smacked the switch upwards. Light after light cascaded the maroon and burgundy walls with yellow. They were alone, and behind thick walls of concrete and marble.

"Lights are a go," Mabel told him.

Dipper had dragged over to her a small tall-table, and once it was between the two of them they dropped all five cylinders onto the table. As soon as they made sure none of them were falling off any time soon, Dipper roared with frustration.

"Dude, chill," Mabel told him, "we need our heads in this one bro-bro."

"I know! But this!" he pointed to two of them, "the cops!? Mabel, that's not good! Really, really, _really_ not good!"

"Yeah! They're going to miss their shift!" Mabel agreed. Dipper groaned and slapped his face. "What? That's not the bad part? That people will notice their missing?"

"It's bad because it's a clue as to what is going on!" Dipper told her, begin to pace around the table, letting Mabel lean against it as she leaned on the surface, staring into the cylinders. "Think about it!"

"I'm doing a lotta thinking," Mabel assured him.

"We have a girl, who is easily one of the strongest forces of social media in the town. She's a robot. The can access and spread rumors and news and people will listen to her because that's her thing. Then we have two cops! Two cops Mabel!"

"Wait... I see what you're saying," she turned to him as he paced around her, "it means if someone was controlling them... like what they were supposed to do, or say, or wanted to do... the cops would be listening to them."

"It's power- the sheriff and deputy both robots?" Dipper asked aloud, "that sounds like a power play!"

"A power play?"

"Someone trying to quietly take control of the town," Dipper announced, "using forms of power."

"Social website media," Mabel counted off with her fingers, "and then police force?" she shook her head, "but that's just a few parts of the town!"

"Right!" Dipper crept to her, pointing to the five pieces, "it's a start. But Mabel, if these guys are popping these blue cylinders out like dried batteries, how many more do you think there could be?"

"... a whole lot," Mabel nodded her head solemnly. Her eyes felt suddenly very heavy.

"I know," Dipper rested his head on the edge of the table, staring into their blue light, "and we're still not a second closer to figuring out where they've come from."

"You got me dude," Mabel said sleepily. She yawned without control, and then fell backwards. If she hit the floor, she wasn't aware.

The world had gone dark and filled with crackling energy of blue and white. She was looking at the town of Gravity Falls. People were walking around town upside down, leaving a trail of blue and white as they did.

Mabel pondered dimly why everyone was upside down.

They weren't- she was looking at them from the earth.

Their footsteps burned white marks of trailing smoke behind them. Mabel could see far into the woods a burning, white hot beam. Like a sun that focused its entire heat onto Mabel's vision, it poured a dangerous, ever-changing of color and heat to her. She had to look away, it was too beautiful and scary.

Then she noticed. The blue lights weren't just from the people. Something was past them. A huge blotch of blue and white and new colors- green and orange. She could see words in a language she had never learned fly past her as she focused in on that blur. The words, and the letters of the language she never learned began to flicker and twist, becoming English.

"Time is running out."

"Action is needed."

"We cannot remain."

"They are being discovered."

"We must save them."

"Hold off until the last moment."

"We will damn them if we cannot save them."

"MABEL!"

Mabel gasped and shot up, head-butting her brother in the face. They both shouted and fell away from one another, the echoing sound of two skulls colliding bounding through the halls.

"OW! BRO!" she gasped as she clutched her head with both hands. He fell backwards as she fell back to the ground. She felt bruises on her shoulders. It expected, now fully awake, that she had fallen back suddenly and entered some sort of trance.

"Mabel, oww, I think you broke skin!" Dipper gasped as he clutched his eyebrow, checking his palm occasionally, "oh, good, no you didn't. I'm good. Ow."

"Did I pass out?" Mabel asked, quicker to recover from the pain than her brother, who was massaging his forehead.

"Yeah. Then you started muttering. Were you taking a language class when we were apart in freshmen year?" Dipper asked her as he leant up to face her.

"Huh?" Mabel blinked, rubbing her head. "Why?"

"You... you weren't speaking english," Dipper shrugged, "something like, uh, jittery or something, I don't know. It was weird."

"I don't know any other languages," Mabel told her brother, fear coursing through her.

"Uh... that wasn't English I heard," Dipper firmly stated.

"But I barely passed standard English to begin with!" Mabel shouted as she clutched her hair.

"You... barely passed English?" Dipper asked her incredulously. "Like basic English in class?"

"Dipper, I think my life is currently stressful enough for me, so criticizing me for not studying enough really isn't contusive to my mental health, okay bud? Okay," Mabel angrily muttered to her brother.

Dipper held back on a retort, aware of the shaken state his strong sister was in. She was scared, just as scared as he was- if not, more so. He walked over and sat down next to her, sighing as he glanced to her.

"Here I thought we were done with mysteries that involved us like this," Mabel snorted as she ruffled her brother's hair. "Ones that didn't try to throw us unto the abyss of dimensional gates and things."

"Ones that didn't involve robots trying to kill us, or golems," Dipper added.

"Or ones that changed us somehow," Mabel poked his chest, and he pushed her finger away as the shared a quiet laugh.

"I guess up here, there's always a mystery," Dipper shrugged.

The two sat next to one another, staring at the table with five glowing batteries.

"One last one between us, huh?" Mabel told her brother sadly. "Before we go back to life as we knew it."

"...Yeah," Dipper nodded as he looked away, "I suppose so."

"You know though," she turned to him, a positive glint in her eyes, "maybe we can visit each other like, every other day! We both have cars, and-"

"I have a job, Mabel," Dipper told her shamefully, "I can't work except on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Oh, c'mon, I have training with my master on Wednesdays!" she groaned angrily. "Seriously!? All freaking week?!"

"And then we have summer work to do this entire... well, summer," Dipper admitted sadly. The two gave each other a long look. Twins kept apart this long, and thrown into the few for two weeks solid like this, only to end it all between the two of them.

Going home alone.

"If we make it out of this alive," the said at the same time.

A pause fell over them after they said it. It was like a spell of anxiety and regret had been shattered. The two of them grinned and started laughing. Of course they weren't going to die. Not around one another. Look what they had accomplished side by side. They were trying to figure out their next plan of action in the skeleton chambers of a former organization of mind-erasers comprised out of grown men and women, and they, along with Wendy and Soos had been able to vanquish it.

When they were twelve.

Now they were older, stronger, and smarter.

Whatever was going on, they had this in the bag. They just needed the face of who was masterminding all these actions, and they could easily put behind them the biggest mystery yet.

"Ready, brotha-'o-mine?" Mabel asked, easily jumping up into the air and landing upright on her feet.

"Right along side you, sista-'o-mine," Dipper nodded, taking a hand from her and allowing himself to be thrown up and land on his feet. "Let's bust this joint."

"Got the lights," Mabel said as she let Dipper collected the cylinders. The two climbed up the now near pitch black stairs, using only the dim light of the mysterious batteries as their guidance.

Their escape from the museum was an easy one, and soon they were back on the bike. It was time to head back to the shack. They had arrangements to make.

"So, what exactly did I say?" Mabel shouted as she drove down main street.

"I don't know, but it sounded desperate," Dipper called ahead, shouting almost into her ear. "You freaked me our pretty bad, Mabes."

"Sorry pal!" She smiled and winked, "job of the sister."

"Keep that to a minimum in your job requirements, please," Dipper asked of her as she turned a street corner. "Anyway, we should consider all the possible examples of people who can be considered heads of fields in power."

"Heads of power?" Mabel asked loudly, not catching everything. She saw her brother nod in the mirror, and continued, "well, do we know the mayor?"

"I've never met him," Dipper said, "someone once confused me for him though, so I guess we look alike."

"What about a less official head? Like someone that people look up to?" Mabel suggested.

"If Gideon was still here, that would have been a good guess, but who's left that really carries that title? Stan isn't really that type that people look up to, and he doesn't really care what the town does unless they pay him."

"What about Manly Dan?" Mabel tried again.

"Better guess. Strong, big, gruff- wait, he's unpredictable. If I was staging a coup in a town, that's a risk I'm not sure about. I'd rather just try getting the whole police department," Dipper admitted as they exited the edge of downtown.

"But what if you couldn't?" Mabel retorted, "and you needed key figures in certain places?"

"Strategic value," Dipper nodded slowly, aware of the point Mabel made, "that's so true. Then again, why would anyone want to control Gravity Falls?"

"Maybe Grunkle Stan's machine?" Mabel suggested.

"No one else knows about it anymore," Dipper told her," excite Bill Cipher, Soos, Wendy, and us. Anyone else who did had their memory erased."

"Right," Mabel said, steering her bike onto the path leading up to the mystery Manor, passing various promising signs of adventure, fun, mystery, and more. "Sometimes I wonder if Grunkle Stan put those signs up just to tease us."

"Ha. Wouldn't put it past him," Dipper snorted as the building came into sight.

The day was growing later. The sun had shifted its gaze to the lower half of the day, telling the two that it was probably about four or so in the afternoon, maybe later. Outside on the steps of the Mystery Manor was a certain cashier, holding her side-slung backpack over her shoulder as she adjusted her boots.

"Guys," she waved at them as he came to a park.

"Wendy!" Dipper waved back. His smile was free and weightless until Mabel looked to him. There wasn't a twinge of judgment, or scolding, or even teasing about her. All she had to do was look at her brother and remind him of something.

They weren't involving Wendy on this one.

"Heeyyyy," Dipper's tone shifted horrible as he and Mabel climbed off the bike.

"Hi Wendy," Mabel happily said to Wendy as she walked up and past her, "heading out?"

"Was about to," the redhead admitted, "but it sort of looks like something's cooking on your end with a mystery or adventure. What's up?" she asked excitedly to the two of them.

"Oh... well... uh," Dipper looked to Mabel, unsure of what to say.

"Ah, yeah, sorry Wendy," Mabel sighed sadly, and patted her friends arm meaningfully, "this one is twins only."

"Huh?" Wendy looked between the two of them, "for reals?"

"For reals," Mabel told the redhead, and stepped inside. "Sorry Wendy."

"Aw, c'mon," Wendy chuckled as Mabel walked inside, and she turned to Dipper, "did I say something?"

"No... uh," Dipper peered inside to the distant blurry outline of Mabel. She was walking inside and walking away still. Dipper growled to himself, and pulled Wendy aside, wanting to keep his conversation short and quiet. "We found some bad stuff."

"Bad stuff?" Wendy lowered her voice to match Dippers.

"Yeah. Like, the kind that makes... makes you think everyone could be trying to kill you," Dipper said exactly the words uttered to him by a particular two-dimensional demon. "And the kind of evidence that makes you question what's really going on around here." Wendy gulped. She actually seemed unnerved with the kind of news that Dipper was presenting. He nodded. "I know right?"

"W-w-what kind of evidence?" she asked, looking behind her, and wringing the edge of her shirt.

"Like... we found out the deputy and sheriff are also... robots," Dipper told her.

Wendy blinked, and Dipper was shocked to think she almost looked relieved. When his eyes stared at her long enough for her to realize he was scrutinizing her, she shrugged.

"What man?" she asked him, "you made it sound like you were actually being chased here or something."

"No, no, we're okay. But... Wendy, I'm sorry," Dipper told her as he walked around her, apologetic already, "that's all I can tell you."

"What?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Dipper told her again, opening the door behind him, "I want to tell you more-"

"Then let me in," she asked, moving closer with a half step, "c'mon man, you trust me. Right?"

"I... of course I do," Dipper shook his head erratically, trying to balance the truth of trusting her and his suspicions of the entire town as a whole. "But Wendy, right now, I.. you know, I can't afford to trust anyone... who's lived here."

Wendy's eyes glazed over and she nodded. Instantly it made Dipper want to apologize, run forward and beg for forgiveness. It almost instantaneously destroyed his decision to be firm and stand by his sister words. He wanted to shove his dirty socks into that choice so badly, he could feel the anger boiling inside him at himself. She was turning away from him, looking mildly upset.

"Okay dude. Let me know if you decide I'm trust worthy," Wendy told him plainly as she got on her seat on the bike.

Straight through the heart and Dipper could have just collapsed into his grave right there and then. Dipper numbly watched her ride onto her bike and ride away, not once glancing back behind her.

That was it.

His chance was blown.

She would now never come to like him.

Dipper fell back against the couch that had been outside for ages, bouncing up mildly as his read slammed against it. How could any self-loathing come close to that of a boy who just won a chance with the girl of his dreams just to spit in her face? He could feel those two blue batteries stuck inside his pocket, and he pulled one out. His fingers ran over its surface.

If he was going to lose the girl, it wasn't going to be for nothing. He stood up angrily, and marched inside, where his sister awaited.

"We have a mystery to solve," he told her as he pocketed the device.

* * *

Sorry for the super-late update you guys. It was a very busy weekend. I didn't have time to post my Hellsing story. Yikes.

Bet you guys didn't see that one bit coming, huh? With the cops? Hehehe. Enjoy that worrying thought that ALL THIS TIME THEY WERE ROBOTS TOO. MIND-FREAK!

And at least it's here- the beginning of the end of Season one. Hope you guys are ready. And calls are open! Begin your guesswork as to how this is all going to end! I suggest an epic classical piece of music to tie it all together! Maybe Mozart's requiem or something. Music always makes things more epic.

Final note.

Guess what guys? I'm going to do the nicest thing I can do without shooting myself from writers finger cramps. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday all will have uploads. That's right. Season one ends this weekend.

Be prepared. Which means you better be nice to me and leave a review each chapter! XD

Scar (from the Lion King): Be prepaaaaared! (huge columns of rock burst out of the ground, shoving EZB and his desk and computer far into the air and then shoves them off a cliff, where EZB gives a classic Wilhelm scream as he plummets to his doom.)


	19. The New Circuit: Part 2

They climbed the stairs hastily. Grunkle Stan did call out to them once, but their rush was a righteous one. They couldn't afford to pause for anyone now. Especially Dipper: he needed to justify to himself pushing away Wendy like he had. Their door opened and closed quickly. There, still on the desk were the papers.

"Let's look over these file," Dipper yanked the folder to his bed, where he leapt on, followed by Mabel.

"Lay 'em down," she told him. The first paper revealed was the power usage of the town. "Power plants."

"I'm not sure controlling power to the town is super-important, but we shouldn't list it off yet. Maybe. So the technicians or managers of the town power plant are a possibility," Dipper stated, and pulled out another page, "schools?"

"That hasn't changed except for that one week," Mabel pointed to the chart's missing date, "and let's be honest here- is school really what's going to control the town?"

"No. It would take ages for putting a robot into a teachers place to really take its effects on this town," Dipper nodded, "so teachers are out of real consideration. How about news?"

"Shandra Jimenez?" Mabel asked, "well... that's actually smart, isn't it? They could report what they wanted and tell the town whatever they felt like talking about."

"Information control, dude," Dipper nodded.

"I'd put her high on the list of possibilities," Mabel nodded, and Dipper pulled out yet another page. "Tourism? Wait..."

"Grunkle Stan," Dipper quietly mentioned.

The two stared at the paper for a bit. Tourism was definitely one of the towns more noticed money making schemes. A lot of people came and stopped by the Mystery Manor, formerly Mystery Shack for a look into the 'paranormal and bizarre', and would therefore stop in town for food. The largest amount of money was the logging companies here, carefully removing large trees every so often. But past them was definitely the tourism.

Their eyes met, and both had the same fear.

"We did find it underneath his casket," Dipper told her, but Mabel shook her head vigilantly.

"But he was there! And Montana Jeffreys told us he tried using strong tranquilizers on Grunkle Stan. And if he had died, or whatever, wouldn't his little stomach gate thing have opened and shown us the cylinder?" Mabel protested.

"I mean... its true. But we've definitely seen the cops doing human things, so being effected by tranquilizers isn't out of the option for these things," Dipper shrugged as he furrowed his brow in thought, "but not only that, he wasn't hit with one of those electrical blasts. That's how all three of the robots we've found have been."

"Ugh! But if Grunkle Stan's been a robot for... for all this time," Mabel grabbed her brother's shoulder.

"I know," Dipper nodded.

It was frightening to say the least. The man whom they trusted easily with their lives and to an extent, their well-being, could be one of these robotic creatures. The same grand uncle who had warned them to keep it to themselves, to keep it under wraps. To stay safe and stay secretive about this. It actually seemed pretty odd, as the two of them pondered silently, that he wanted this kept silent.

Suspicion grew inside their minds, infesting their thoughts like a fast growing root. If there was a conspiracy, he could easily be inside it.

"It's not impossible," Mabel nodded her head sadly, "I just hope we're wrong."

"Yeah," Dipper agreed, "last thing we need is knowing that all this time a robot has been sleeping in the same house as us."

"So... where do we start?" Mabel asked, "I think we should get these puppies charged up and ready to roll, and go meet the mayor."

"The mayor?" Dipper repeated, but as he scratched his chin hairs, he nodded slowly, "yeah. Yeah that could work. Have a private word with him, and then see if he's one... of them... how is the escape going to work exactly?" Dipper asked his sister, "there will be guards and stuff nearby."

"Ohh... yeah, not to mention the police could easily be all robots, so that's not good," Mabel agreed. "Maybe we should wait until he goes to his home, and then zap him!"

"Great. Trespassing, stalking, and also assault with a... weapon? Deadly weapon?" Dipper pulled out one of the batteries, faintly glowing, "just what we need. Arrested the night before going home."

"If we're caught," Mabel pointed out with a wink.

"... that sounded like Grunkle Stan," Dipper snorted and shoved her shoulder gently.

"Pfft, it's totally true though," Mabel nodded to herself.

"Whatever," Dipper looked back to those papers and the single Cylinder he held. "So... we charge it up, and then we charge out and get ready to see who's cyber and who isn't?"

"Sounds good to me, amigo," Mabel told him.

The two stood off the bed. Mabel collected both cylinders from Dipper as he scrambled to file all the papers back into the borrowed folder. They were tense now. The plan was dangerous, and not just in the life threatening way. If they hadn't poked the bee-hive before with discovering Tambry and the police sheriff and deputy, they were about to.

Whoever was behind this was going to know from this point on they were on their trail. Something that both was terrifying and entirely exciting.

Death and bodily harm was not the only thing on the table now. If the police got their hands on the twins, pushing their shoes back on, they could list them as delinquents. This didn't disturb Mabel as much, but to Dipper it caused more than a few beads of sweat to fall down his neck. His future depended on his clean record and remarkable school accomplishments.

The door was pulled open, and the two sighed once more. Trying to alleviate their fears didn't help as much as they'd like. They were nervous.

Mabel stepped out with Dipper. Turning to the left a few paces, and then to right. They were heading down the stairs.

"Sup dudes," Soos called to them as they met the ground floor. He waved to them from the gift shop, sweeping the floors with his usual happy, complacent attitude.

"Soos!" Dipper called out in shock.

"Quite so, dawg. Hey, you two want to hang out tonight? I'm already sticking it in for mister Pines, so I totally wouldn't mind trying to chill again with you guys," Soos told them as Mabel crab walked over to the television in the living room, away from the gift shop.

"Ah, right. Well," Dipper looked around, trying to mind what he said. Grunkle Stan could be listening in, and if he was really a robot, then what Dipper was saying could be recorded. "Let me ask Mabel. Yo, Mabes!" Dipper called slowly, buying her time as she waved two rods at the same time past the TV, causing the same kind of disturbances.

"Uh..." Mabel pulled out the other three, performing the same task she had with the first two, "I guess? I was kind of expecting it to be a twin... thing?" Mabel stumbled for words as the television disturbance grew. Mabel darted her eyes into the static. She could hear something coming from the television.

"Time... running... short..."

"What?" Mabel whispered as she leaned in closer.

"Mabel, what was that?" Dipper asked, not looking to her, still keeping his eyes on Soos.

"Uh, just a second!" Mabel called to him, putting her ears against the speaker, trying to make out something behind all the static. It sounded like gibberish to her, yet she could make out a phrase.

"Save... abandon... time..."

A large bolt of static struck Mabel's face.

"OW!" she cried, dropping the cylinders from her hands, where they bounced gently against the carpet. "Butterscotch!"

"Mabel!" Dipper entered the room quickly at her cry, followed in haste by Soos.

"You okay dude?" Soos asked, and then spotted the cylinders. "Oh wow. Man, I'm glad nothing happened to you with those. Have you figured out what they do yet? It didn't zap you, right? You're good?"

Dipper checked on Mabel, who massaged her face tenderly. She was okay. There was Soos, trying to check on their well being, less fascinated with the objects of freakish properties compared to the twins. It was enough for them to relax.

"We think so," Dipper honestly told him, "we're going to go figure it out now."

"Oh, no way," Soos adjusted his hat, leaning in closer, "like, how close?"

"We don't know who," Mabel scooted closer," but we think someone is trying to take over Gravity Falls with strategically positioned robots."

"Dude. Whoa. Dude," Soos jolted back, his eyes wide and horrified, "I don't like the sound of that at all."

"Right," Dipper nodded, "so we're going to figure this out right now, and put and end to all this... craziness. Hopefully."

"You need a third member of the party?" Soos suggested, pointing two thumbs at his face, "Because this guy is ready to rock."

"It can't hurt," Dipper shrugged with a grin.

"Aww yeah! I should text Wendy to come over-" Soos started.

"Wait! I'll... I'll do it," Dipper told them, turning from the two as he pulled out his phone.

"That's right, Dipper's got to check on the girlfr-" Mabel stareted, but Dipper kicked at her chin without warning, and she groaned, holding her leg. "Ow..."

He did want to call, to apologize for not trusting her. Then again... he didn't feel like calling was the best idea. Maybe he should just text. Yeah, a text seemed like the best idea for Dipper. He pulled out her number, and opened the screen to a blank message. How did he start one of these?

Dipper gently cleared his throat, the weight of his guilt poking at his neck. Slowly, he found the right words to punch into the phone. 'It's Dipper. I'm sorry for treating you like that, back here'. It wasn't enough though- Dipper needed more. With a tiny conflicted bubble of anger towards himself, regret towards his actions, and the feeling of the truth behind the words, he added 'I do trust you'.

That was enough. Dipper sent the message and closed the phone. It was on vibrate, so he'd know when she got back to him.

"Hope she can jump in on this. She's darn handy with these sort of things," Soos told Mabel and Dipper as he turned back.

"I hope so. Until then, should we saddle up?" Dipper asked the two of them.

"Heck yeah!" Mabel cheered, and high-fived the man before her. Dipper bent down and started picking up the cylinders when a new pair of footsteps echoed from the opposite side of the room. Coming from the kitchen. Dipper stood up quickly, and pushed the cylinders to his back, hiding them from sight as Grunkle Stan stepped into the room.

"Hey! You guys ready to have an afternoon with your Grunkle?" Grunkle Stan announced, his trademark grin wide and proud. He was wearing some fishing gear, and even held a disassembled fishing pole and gear box in one hand.

Worry and paranoia flooded through the twins head. How coincidental was it that they were about to head out, go figure this all out. He looked excited, and was entirely decked out for his venture to the lake. What if this was a rouse; A trap to get the twins to get into his car, just so he could take them away and to a place where the robots would be waiting for them in large numbers?

"Ah, yeah, Grunkle Stan," Dipper admitted, a twinge of regret flashing through him as he prepared to let his grand uncle down, "we were just about to head out?"

"Head out?" the older man replied, but grinned on, "we were going to have a last afternoon together before you two went off and headed down to boringland, USA. Just the three- no, four of us. You can come too, Soos," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes as Soos seemed deflated to hear of other plans not including him.

"That sounds like a great idea, mister Pines!" Soos agreed.

"See? He's in on it. Come on! I promise it will be low stress and not at all involving running away from golems or the like. That way, tonight you can go do all that mystery crud on your own. Whadda ya say?" He sold his plan to the twins, bouncing his eyebrows eagerly.

"Soos, hold these for a second," Dipper told in a whisper to Soos, holding out his hands behind him.

"Sure dawg."

"Grunkle Stan, look," Dipper started as he felt Soos's fingers wrap around the three cylinders.

He never finished that thought.

A blast of blue light and electricity exploded behind Dipper. He and Mabel screamed and leapt back as Grunkle Stan roared in shock as he dropped his supplies. Soos had been thrown from Dipper a good five feet backwards, and slid onto his back as he lay limp on the ground.

"SOOS!" Grunkle Stan rushed past the shocked twins. The older man bent his knees as he landed next to his unconscious employee. He checked his chest, listening for breath, and then a heart rate. "He's not breathing!"

The twins stood there, transfixed on what had just happened.

Soos had touched the cylinders.

He had gotten zapped by them.

So far, only robots were zapped.

"No," Mabel put a hand to her mouth as she stared at the unmoving body of Soos. Stan turned to her, a hand extended to her.

"Mabel, sweetheart, it's alright, he's alive," Stan assured her, "Dipper, I have some medical stuff in the kitchen cabinet above the refrigerator. Go and grab it for me, would you?"

Dipper didn't move. He was also fixed on Soos. His mouth and throat were dry.

"Dipper!" Stan shouted to his grand nephew. "Hey! Earth to Dipper!"

"Grunkle Stan, move away from him," Dipper told him, taking a careful step closer to Soos. He needed to get his Grunkle away.

"Dipper? What-"

"He touched these," Dipper held out the cylinders for inspection, and Grunkle Stan's eyes widened. Quicker than an old man was expected to move, Stanley Pines shot up and stepped away, staring down at the employee with the same fearful look the other two were giving him.

"He's... no," Grunkle Stan shook his head, "he's only missed work once, and that was three years ago. You two remember?" Grunkle Stan demanded of them, "he can't have been... I would have known."

"Grunkle Stan, it's not just him," Dipper told his grand uncle, who turned towards him. "The sheriff and deputy were also robots."

"What!?"

"That... makes four we've discovered," Mabel told him, adding onto the compiling fears that Grunkle Stan was building in his mind. He kept looking between them and the motionless Soos, possibly expecting some sort of resolution as he glanced between them.

"But... how?" he asked, "this was under my nose the entire time! He's bled! I've seen him bleed before!" Stan told them heatedly, "how can a robot that has all that glowing stuff inside have blood!?"

"I don't know!" Dipper shouted back, trying to calm his excited Grunkle. "Look, we're trying to make sense of this too. We think... we think there's a hostile take over going on."

"A hostile take-over? Do you two realize how crazy that sounds?" Grunkle Stan rounded on the two of them, "sure, robots of a stupidly super advanced nature is one thing, but trying to take over Gravity Falls? That's ridiculous! And Why? What's in Gravity Falls worth having control of?"

"We don't know!" It was Mabels turn to shout back. "But both cops were robots, and so was Tambry! She's a wizard of social media websites! That's three people who can control a part of town. Sounds kind hostile take-overy to us."

"But... Soos?" Grunkle Stan turned on the unconscious, and yet floating figure, "why him? He's the friendliest, dumbest son of a gun I've ever met! He doesn't control anything! He just smiles and helps people!"

"That's..." Dipper turned to Mabel, and she mimed his worries. That was an entirely good point against their thesis. Why would someone go through the trouble to replace Soos if he didn't hold any strategic value towards capturing a town? He was big, and fairly strong, but there were stronger, scarier men who would be easier to take control of. Why Soos?

"Well?" Grunkle Stan asked again.

"I don't think we got an answer for you," Mabel sadly told Stanley.

He sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe his face of sweat. "Well... if we're going to do something about this, might as well call fishing off," Grunkle Stan slipped on his glasses, a new, strong, almost angry look in his eyes, "because no one takes my favorite handyman and gives me a replacement without telling me first. You two have a plan or what?"

"Computing Memory Module out of synch. Ejecting system memory charge, please prepare a newer charge," Soos said right after Grunkle Stan finished talking.

"No, Soos," Mabel begged as the assumed friend opened his mouth to speak, "please, don't say it."

"Initializing ejection."

Soos began to float upwards. His entire body went rigid as he was lifted from the ground. The three watched him rise up; Mabel was near tears and Grunkle Stan was visibly upset along with Dipper. They had wanted him to stay down, remain unconscious. If he was really a human, he couldn't float like this. As long as he had remained down, motionless, he could have been assumed human.

No more assuming.

The blue cylinder, identical to those the twins had collected emerged from Soos as his t-shirt rose upwards with no visible signs of forcing it to move up. It floated above him, suspended, just like Soos, on nothing.

"Something we say activates the process, "Dipper spurted out. "I think each time we've talked about plans it happens."

"Plans huh?" Grunkle Stan barked aloud, "how about this one? We're going to go get... uh... who was your first target?"

"The mayor," Mabel informed him politely.

"The Mayor!" Grunkle Stan declared, "and give him a piece of our mind! How's that for ya?" The twins nodded strongly. "And let's grab this thing too," Stan added in his rush of determination.

As his strong fingers wrapped around the cylinder, a shot of blue light struck out from Soos' exposed opening. Stan gasped. He was thrown back against the wall, and crumbled to the floor.

"NO!" Dipper shouted, rushing over to his grand uncle. He dropped the cylinders to the floor as he and Mabel rushed over to their unconscious Grunkle, who's eyes had closed. He too wasn't breathing, but Mabel could detect a pulse. He was alive. Dipper called to him. "Grunkle Stan! C'mon, wake up!"

"Dipper," Mabel worriedly said to him. He turned away, tears in his eyes. Fearful. He was fearful.

They had planned it to be like this. But they would have had a friend or someone they could turn to when it happened, like Soos or Wendy. But Soos floated above them, casting a bright, blue, shimmering light on the ceiling as his cylinder began to slowly rotate in mid air. The twins barely registered it.

Dipper swallowed loudly, and prepared to say the one thing that he was afraid to. The words he was certain would doom their trust in anything going on. "We have a plan."

Grunkle Stan's mouth came to life, and spoke.

"Computing Memory Module out of synch. Ejecting system memory charge, please prepare a newer charge."

Dipper and Mabel stood up quickly. In her haste, the other three, still charged cylinders fell out of her pocket and also onto the carpet, where they sparkled slightly of blue and white. Stan began to float up.

"Initializing ejection."

Stan's body tensed up and straightened like a wooden board. Slowly, his jacket and vest were peeled aside and exposed his hairy chest. Then, a peel of blue broke from his skin. He was one of them. Stan had been a robot all this time as well.

Dipper fell to his knees. It was too much. Not just one, but two of the people he had seen every single day the entire time he and Mabel were up here had been robots all this time, tied to the happenings going around town. All this time.

But it wasn't done. The two brightly glowing sticks were casting their energy through bolts of electricity to the others. It looked almost magnetized. The five on the ground were rolling over the carpet towards one another, which seemed to be between the two floating bodies in the living room.

The five cylinders began to float. They slowly ascended to join the two stationed above Soos and Grunkle Stan.

"That's can't good for us," Mabel guessed as electricity began to shoot from one blue, glowing object to another. They created a circle, a circle using the two stationary cylinders as point A and B for the total diameter. From one cylinder to another, the lightning began to shoot faster and faster. Louder and brighter. As if the energy within the cylinders were growing. Then the cylinders started spinning. In synchronous orbit around the spot between Soos and Grunkle Stan they span so fast that the lightning shooting through the circle seemed to stay in place, so that Mabel and Dipper could stare at it in awe.

A light was growing in the circle. A small ball of light and energy was being fed by the actions of the spinning circle. It grew stronger an brighter. Mabel blinked. She could hear something coming from the energy. A voice.

"Uniform band detected. Initializing evacuation."

"What did it say?" Mabel asked loudly to Dipper, as the whirring sounds were growing stronger and stronger yet.

"It didn't say anything!" Dipper shouted back, as the two of them started stepping away from the light, "and I think we need to go!"

"But what about-" Mabel protested.

The light in the center pulsed. It grew tiny, and then expanded to the width of the cylinders. The air roared deeply, as a blast of wind and energy threw the twins out of the room. Glass was shattered and chairs throw into the air. The sofa fell back, the TV exploded. The room was made a mess with one simple motion by the sphere in the center, now the size of a beach ball.

"Let's go!" Mabel told her brother, jumping back to her feet. She grasped Dipper and pulled him up and out of the room.

"Go! Let's go!" he shouted as the two of them darted through the gift shop. The door was swung open as the two raced outside. Another loud roar told them to turn around. The blast did not reach them but the light was strong enough to begin pouring out of the walls of the wooden building, blasting the woods with strong, blue light.

"Oh my... this looks bad," Mabel gasped as the light continued to grow.

The light vanished. All at once, without a sound.

"Uh..." Dipper looked back to Mabel, who worriedly looked around. "That's... it? Okay, that's not bad-"

All the glass of the Manor shattered and the twins were thrown off their feet. Far back against the ground the landed, and saw what was happening. Streams of energy, like light twisting and billowing out, was pouring through the windows and doors of the Mystery Manor. It raced into the sky, so bright the dying orange sky started to darken. It then turned, heading straight for town, this growing, ever extending beam of energy. As it passed over the woods, smaller branches of the light shot down, striking homes, shops, offices, streets and cars. The entire town was being struck by this beam of energy. As the smaller tendrils of light faded, the main beam of energy turned upwards. As it peaked higher and higher, it just cut off. After a certain point, high into the sky, the energy began to vanish.

Dipper and Mabel watched as the end of the beam from the Mystery Manor faded, and the last of the beam disappeared into the sky without a trace. Then out of the windows came the cylinders. They floated high into the air, and started flying, zooming away towards town. They were slowly joined by other cylinders, hundreds of batteries, all providing a faint blue glow to the orange sky as they rose up and settled to float above town.

But there was more movement. Stepping out from the building, Dipper and Mabel watched as two men who had been, minutes ago unconscious and floating above the ground, walking out of the building. Their eyes were glowing.

"They're... moving... they're moving on their own!" Dipper shouted with fear.

"To the bike!" Mabel shouted as she and Dipper scrambled up. The glowing eyed figures didn't even follow pursuit. All they did was turn towards the forest and walk into the trees like zombies.

"Punch it!" Dipper demanded of Mabel, who obliged hurriedly.

The bike zoomed away from the window-less building. The two zombie-like men walked away quietly into the woods as the twins rushed away, looking around them as they soared through the gravel lined drive way. Barely making the turn, Mabel swung the bike around and made way towards down town.

"Where are we going?!" Dipper shouted.

"Town!" Mabel shouted back to him, "I heard from that zany ball of light something about evacuation! If the robots all were activated, like we think they are," Mabel added, to which Dipper nodded, "then if anyone is still there who isn't a robot, we can work with them to fight this one out!"

"I hope it doesn't come to that," Dipper said dangerously, "I don't know the weak spots to robots."

Mabel nodded, and revved the gas more. It was decided as they approached down town that they would park along the outskirts and walk into town, using the shadows as cover. The two spotted a great spot between two pine trees and behind a sign, and parked Mabel's bike there. Pushing their way past the thick needles, they advanced onto the town.

It was eerily quiet. No one was crying, or screaming for help as the two crept along the side of the shadowy sidewalk. There weren't any broken cars slammed into street-signs or traffic lights. There were just empty, turned-off cars left in the middle of the road. It really did look like the entire town was evacuated.

"What is going on here?" Dipper asked as she and her brother rounded a corner. "WHOA. Don't head that way," Dipper pulled back.

"I need to see!" Mabel pushed past him. As she turned her head around the corner, she gasped.

Every single person who lived in Gravity Falls seemed present. Everyone had glowing blue eyes, and were gathered in a huge cluster at the town square, where the proud, but somewhat neglected statue of Nathaniel Northwest, false founder of the town. They all started skyward, unblinking in their gaze. Above them, the cylinders still levitated, circling around an unseen center, as intricate patters of movement came from the slow rotation of the floating batteries.

Mabel could recognize many faces in the crowd. She spotted Grenda standing proudly among the robots, her eyes wide and glowing. Several of Wendy's friends, including the tall blond named Lee were easily spotted. Manly Dan was one of the easiest to spot, his huge shoulder width and height pulling attention without even trying.

"Yeah, nope," Mabel nodded and pulled back, "that's everyone."

Dipper and Mabel looked to one another. They again peered over to the clustered crowd around the corner.

"You think someone will come and order them or something?" Mabel asked.

"That's my guess. But they did know to come here without any kind of order I heard," Dipper told her, looking around. There was still no movement or sound aside from themselves. "We're kind of in the open."

"We can get in that office," Mabel pointed across the street, where a three story building overlooked the town square.

"I like it. Go!" Dipper quietly ordered, and ran as fast as he could, keeping himself as low to the ground as possible.

"Buh-buh, ba, dah dah dah, buh, buh," Mabel sung as she flipped, cartwheeled and rolled over to the opened door which Dipper had just ran onto," Duh-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh! Da-da!"

"Seriously. You have to sing that now?" Dipper demanded of her as he closed to door behind as she leapt inside. "This is kind of serious."

"I am being serious," Mabel told him as she crept towards the stairs nearby the elevator.

"Seriously lame. Was that supposed to be 'Mission Really-Hard-To-Complete'?" Dipper demanded as they climbed the concrete stairs to the second floor, "because that was lame."

"You're lame!"

The door on the third floor was also opened, and the two stepped inside. There were a few windows by some office, and they headed for them quickly. Reaching that far wall, the twins realized with a sigh nothing had changed outside. The cluster of people stood, staring at the sky, their eyes glowing.

They stood there, looking out the window, spying on the men and women outside. Minutes passed. Hours passed. The two constantly shifted their positions, sitting by the windows, leaning against the glass, pushing over chairs to sit and stare. Nothing had happened. The sun was soon gone from sight, leaving a brightly colored horizon behind it.

"Dipper," Mabel asked after long silence between the two of them. She was lying into two chairs, and he was leaning against the widow as he stared out.

"Yeah?"

"What if... what if everyone is already gone?" Mabel asked fearfully.

"They're not," Dipper told her with determination, "they've been replaced. That means that everyone who is represented there, who we can see with those crazy glowing eyes, they're just being kept somewhere else. And we have to rescue them."

"But... we don't even know if that's the case," Mabel pointed out, and Dipper groaned.

"I know, I'm just trying to work this out in my head," he admitted.

"What if... what if this entire town has been empty for so long that someone made these robots as a replacement- like Old Man McGucket?"

"No, he's out there too," Dipper pointed, "I see his hat poking out from behind Grunkle Stan. "So unless he made himself a robot, or he's been one this entire time since we've known him, he can't be the culprit behind this all."

"And we're sure nothing in the journal talked of a... I don't know, a disease that turns people into robots? Like some kooky old timey horror flick?" Mabel asked of Dipper. He looked to his vest, where the journal rested tucked away.

"The closest thing I found was lycanthropy. This definitely isn't that," Dipper told her.

He continued to stare out the window, waiting. Someone was going to show up, and order these things to do something. He knew it.

"They were all robots," Mabel shook her head gently, shuddering as she realized how many times she had interacted with people from this town, "all this time."

"Yeah."

"What... what does that mean for us?" Mabel asked, "Dipper, what if someone really doesn't come back? And they just stand there until they rust or whatever."

"Someone will."

"Who?"

"I don't know."

"But then..." Mabel stalled herself, wondering what was with the words she had heard behind the static, and the words she saw while she and Dipper hid in the blind eye society. Something odd was going on. Yet what if it wasn't going to let itself be solved?

Another hour passed. Now the town was just a few lights on the street and a glowing town square. The twins sleepily watched them, their hopes fading minute by minute. They both needed to solve this, but as they watched, it seemed like nothing was coming from their sentinel stance.

If this was it, how many questions were going to be left unanswered. Dipper tried counting with his fingers, but quickly ran out of room. How many secrets did this town have- that every time they came back here there was something else going on?

"Dipper, I'm getting hungry," Mabel admitted.

"I'm not," he told her defiantly.

"Dude, I've heard your stomach rumble at least, like, five times," Mabel retorted.

"Three."

"That still means you're hungry," Mabel declared. "We don't have to leave them for long. There's that candy store over there; we can just pop in and leave some change. That way it won't be stealing," Mabel confirmed the plan with her brother, who shrugged. "Dude."

"I can't just leave them," he told her, "what if they're our only chance to see Grunkle Stan, Soos, Wendy- what if these people, these robots are our ticket to getting everyone back, and we blow it like we blew our chances with Tambry... oh, and look, there she is," Dipper pointed to Tambry, her eyes just the same as the others. "And I bet Wendy is..." Dipper scanned the large cluster of people, tightly packed. "I... and I can't see her. Great."

"To think you fell in love with robot Wendy," Mabel tried laughing gently with Dipper. He stared daggers at her and she closed her mouth. "Sorry."

"The last thing I told her was that I didn't trust her," Dipper said to himself, "and I was right. I didn't trust her. And look what happened?" he pointed to them all, "they're cyborgs or whatever. I... damn it," Dipper sat down on the chair next to Mabel, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey," she leant up, putting an arm around his shoulders, "you okay, broseph?"

"I've been better," he admitted, "not every day when you realize that all the memories you've had over the past two weeks are sort of... corrupted. Like they've been made evil or something," Dipper tried to explain. Mabel nodded.

"Yeah... but it's not like they knew any better," Mabel told him.

She was right. Every single person who they had seen revealed to be a robot hadn't anticipated the change. The only one who had been able to speak after their revealing was Tambry, with the help of McGucket, who, as it was seen below Dipper, was a robot himself. They must have been perfectly programmed. Perfectly, amazingly programmed to think they were entirely normal humans. In a weird way, it did make him feel better. But still, that sense of unseemliness fell over him.

"Dipper," Mabel tugged on his shoulder tighter, "c'mon. Let's run and grab a bag of chips or jerky or something."

Did the brother of the Pines Twins, the mystery twins, want to? No. He just wanted to make sure, absolutely sure that he didn't lose sight of these robot people. Yet he knew he wouldn't be any good to the cause if he was growing restless and hungry. With a grumble, he stood up alongside Mabel.

They turned away from the window, walking through the fluorescent lit building quietly. Their steps echoed on the stairs as they exited the third floor and made their way down, spiraling towards the bottom. Hands in his pockets, Dipper felt the edges of his journal pressed against his ribs. The book felt a lot smaller than it used to be on him.

They both peered out of the door, spotting the cyborgs standing in a circle, far away, still staring into the sky. With a hurried job, the two exited the building and headed towards the convenience store down the street.

It still scared Dipper how quiet the town was. He had nightmares like this when he was twelve- the world being empty except for himself and a few others. The scary thing was, he knew exactly where them people who had inhabited this town for the past two weeks were. Some five hundred feet away or so, they would be standing in a cluster.

"Here we go," Mabel pushed open the door, and found the rows of snack food and beverage to her choosing and Dippers, "ah, some good 'ol gummy koalas! Nothing like a bag of candy to make a horrible situation brighter! Or at least more colorful," she tagged on the end as she peeled open the bag and swallowed the entire contents into her mouth, and then grabbed another.

Dipper looked at the bag of jerky he lifted up for inspection. 'Real Man Jerky' beamed light off its surface, a glossy coating of plastic separating Dipper from the smoked beef inside. The newest logo on the cover read 'Manliness isn't enough! You need REAL MANLINESS!'.

Despite the sad attempt at testosterone inducing catch-phrases, Dipper let the bag and his hand fall aside. What was the point to any of this food or drink if at the end of this night, and the next day, the town was empty? How could he go back to his mother, letting her know that he couldn't go back to talk to Grunkle Stan ever again? He would have to make up a story. Something about how he, in the end, did die.

If they did end up leaving before all of this was solved, it might as well be that case.

Was there even a chance to see them again?

All the evidence pointed to no. Two and a half years ago, a week long absence in any recorded activity occurred. That was a very strong indication towards the fightening possibility that everyone in this town had been gone for that long. Almost three years being taken away was not a good sign.

Dipper threw the bag down. The end of this secret, waiting for him and Mabel, was pain.

"Mabel, let's go," Dipper stomped past the rows of food and pushed open the door as she emptied a third bag. She gagged and spun around, spitting out slimy, spit covered gummies as she followed him.

"Dipper, what gives?" she asked, as he stepped out into the street. "You're not going to eat anything?" he then turned to the left, heading away from the building. "Uh, dude, that's where the post is."

"I... Mabel, we should leave," Dipper told her firmly. His sister blinked. Looking around her, and peering inside the shop, she searched for something.

"Uh... what?" she demanded, "we're sort of right on top of the biggest mystery of all time?" she reminded him. "What, did you get a bad jerky bit?"

"No-"

"Cus I know how sucky bad jerky can be," she informed him. "Ruins your entire day."

"Mabel!" he shouted.

"Dude, what?" she laughed incredulously, "you really want to leave?"

"No," Dipper admitted with a huff.

"So then you don't want to figure this out?"

"No!"

"And I suppose you don't want to know why someone has gone to this amount of trouble to do all of this!?" she demanded of him, and he growled loudly, clawing at his hair as he paced before her.

"NO! I _do_ want to know these things!" he yelled.

"Then why are we chickening out now?" she barked out at him, "Dipper, what is it?!"

"I..." he summarized his thoughts and fears as best he could, "really, what if you were right? What if they're gone for good? What if they're all dead?"

"Dipper, I was just-"

"Then at the end of this, all we've done is wiped an entire town off the map," Dipper told her, "Just imagine what would have happened if we didn't come up here," he stepped closed, "we never would have found Tambry, never would have gotten the batteries, and never cause this to happen!"

"But then Grunkle Stan would have been killed by Montana Jeoffreys," Mabel reminded him fiercely, "he was kind of determined before we showed up, remember?"

"Mabel, that was just a robot back then! For all we know," Dipper clenched his fists together, "he's been dead all along!"

"I know that!"

"I... you know that?" Dipper repeated, some of his steam lost.

"Yeah, dummy!" She shouted at him, and he closed his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I know there's a chance to find out all of this is... is pointless. But Dipper, what do we get if we just turn away now?"

"I know," he quietly said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Nothing," she answered, "what if we can save them? And we didn't try!?"

"I know!" Dipper shouted loudly, taking a step closer to his sister, who mildly flinched. "I... I'm just scared."

Dipper wiped his eyes, stretching the skin of his eyelids and cheeks as he walked away from Mabel. There was a single bench along the building they had just entered. He walked over to it, and sat back down.

"Mabel, this is big. Last time, it was just Cipher trying to use Grunkle Stan," Dipper continued as Mabel sat next to him, "now... this is something else. I mean... what if this is bigger than Gravity Falls? What if there are more towns like this?"

"That would be freaky," Mabel shuddered. "But dude, we can't just-"

"I-" Dipper held up a hand, leaning back against the poor wooden construction, "I know. I do. I just needed a chance to blow off some steam, you know?" he explained, scratching his jaw absentmindedly as he looked to her.

"I guess this can't be categorized as your every-day experience, huh?" Mabel laughed at Dipper, who smiled and laughed back.

BOOM.

Mabel and Dipper shot up from their seats.

They needn't look around for the source of the blast of sound, so deep and triumphant as it echoed around the mountains, causing birds and animals to shriek and cry out as they fled from the town.

Above them far above their heads was a massive... thing. Smooth and streamline, a shape started growing larger and larger from the sky. The stars above them then began to dissipate. The streamline shape wasn't actually a shape at all.

"Mabel, if I believed there was such a thing as a cloaking device," Dipper asked his sister as they both stared into the sky, "would that be what you'd call one?"

"Ten outta ten for cloaking device," Mabel nodded.

The stars and the night scar faded slowly away as a massive dark shape appeared high above the town. Easily the size of the entire town, the shape was finally fully revealed. A huge, rectangular mid-section was the primary weight of the object, floating above them. Two mid-sections near one end were attached by a pair of corridors, keeping the two smaller rectangles close to the main shape.

"It's a space ship," Mabel gasped, as a large blue light appeared at the bottom. It was a door- a huge door opened, and a smaller black object began to fly out, heading for the town. "I so, so, so, so, soooooo told you so."

"Shh!" Dipper started crouching, and running towards the corner he and Mabel had taken earlier. "Look!"

Dipper and Mabel stared as a large ship, easily the size of full cargo jet plane fell towards the ground. It had a pointed front, but glided along its sides to form two distinctive wings, which curved upwards as it came closer to the ground. The aircraft was capable of molding its shape as it slowly came to a hover just above town.

"Bro," Mabel shook her head as a section of the large craft opened, and a long stairway descended downwards, coming to a stop just before the crowd of cyborgs, staring at the new craft all as one.

"What?" Dipper asked.

A bright light cast itself down on the ramps as a figure, clad in thick gear that covered it head to toe, started walking out. He looked like an astronaut- he even had a circular headpiece with a tinted glass visor in the front.

"It's freaking aliens," Mabel poked the back of his head, which he nudged her to quit it.

The person, after a few seconds of walking down the stairs stood before the crowd. A small beep emanated from the visor, and the tint dissolved into the glass. The alien, if it was an alien, appeared very human. Two dark eyes without a trace of white were imbedded just between a small, well chiseled nose. There was a tiny trace of an eyebrow above the eyes. The skin seemed somewhat courser, but it was hard to distinguish the true appearance from the distance. The visor was reflected a lot of the light from the eyes of the crowd.

He started speaking and Mabel gasped. She understood him.

"Thank you for being so patient! My word, we've lost the ability to use mass-recall on targets this large. We're sorry you've had to wait this long," the figure said as Mabel gasped. The robots stared blankly at him, but he didn't seem discouraged by their lack of response.

"What language is that?" Dipper asked, wincing.

"I don't know, but I understand it!" Mabel told him.

"What?" he demanded, and she 'shh'd him.

"We're rather low on time on our current schedule, so we need to begin preparations for transport. Normally we would scan all of you now, but we can get to that once you're aboard the ship. Then we can wash you and place you back into relaxed state. I bet you all have been waiting for that for weeks," the astronaut told them.

"He told them they're not going to scan them before moving them into the ship," Mabel told Dipper.

"How... how do you know this?" Dipper demanded, "it just sounds like whistles and hisses to me."

"I don't know!" Mabel laughed quietly as they watched.

"Now please remain where you are. When I return, I can begin count for the town, and we can head back into the ship. Thank you. I will return shortly!" the figure called out to them, and turned, heading up the stairs.

"He doesn't sound evil or anything, Dipper," Mabel said truthfully to her brother, "just like they're trying to collect them all."

"Then... Mabel," Dipper looked to her, a mad thought crossing his head, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"... let's do it."

The man in astronaut gear was still climbing away from them as they rushed out of the cover by the corner and ran towards the crowd. They slid to a stop as they figure reached the top, flicking some switches and turning the stairs into an upwards escalator. Dipper and Mabel stabilized their breaths as the crowd slowly began to shift and budge themselves over, forming slowly a single file line.

"Get to the back," Dipper told Mabel as they walked slowly over to the end of the line. "We have to act like these guys now."

"Already on it," she replied, using her best robot voice, but then snickering as little as she could. Dipper kicked her ankle, and she reset her expressionless face.

One by one the cyborg inhabitants of the small town took an individual step on the escalator and would rise upwards. It was an interesting process, as Dipper and Mabel watched.

"Wait... oh no," Dipper realized a flaw in their plan," Mabel, we can't be seen!"

"Why? They aren't scanning us-"

"We don't have glowing eyes!" Dipper told her worriedly. She gasped, the fear infecting her too. What would an alien do to trespassers? Vaporize them? Experiment on them? That was not something either of them intended to find out.

"Okay... okay, Dipper, this is a stretch, but I have an idea," Mabel told him as they took the steps and began to rise upwards. Mabel reached inside her pocket, and pulled something out, holding it for Dipper to see.

"You have got to be kidding me," he told her.

The astronaut was counting off each of the arriving cyborgs lazily, barely checking them as they walked by, moving inside the large craft before them. He didn't even notice as two extra passengers, with bright blue gummy koalas stuck to their eyes walked past him, and quickly scurried out of sight.

"Looks like we're clear," the figure spoke in his language. With a flick of the switch, the stairs slunk back inside the floor, melding into the interior like it was alive. As the doorway he was looking out of closed, the figure turned and walked past Dipper and Mabel, hiding behind a corridor. They shook off the gummies, and followed his progress.

They watched the man walk down the main hallway, and entered a strange four way door that opened in four different directions at once, sliding away quadrants to the entrance. As the vanished, the sections quickly slid back, and Dipper and Mabel sighed. They were alone now.

They looked around. There were hundred and hundreds of seats, almost like shopping isles where the robots had taken a spot and sat down. Dipper and Mabel quickly spotted an empty row to themselves, further away inside the ship, and ran over.

"So, how does this thing work-" Dipper started as he sat down, but the moment his clothing touched the surface, four separate limbs reached out and connected themselves above his chest, locking him into place. "GAH! Okay, okay... I can move with these at least," he admitted, shifting in his seat a little.

Mabel took her seat more gracefully, letting the four limbs wrap around her quickly and sighing. To their left was a single window, and the two of them watched as the skyline of Gravity Falls became larger and larger as they were lifted into the sky, soaring up into the atmosphere. There were no longer in United States airspace. As they traced their progress, they realized that, just slightly in tow was the huge conglomeration of cylinders, floating along side the ship. Then they stuck out like celestial figures against the blackness surrounding them.

"Okay..." Mabel turned to Dipper, the color of her face going as they watched the stars grow brighter around them, "so, we're in space."

"Right. Space. Exactly where I thought we'd be today," Dipper replied cheekily.

From the edges of the window, they saw the growing shape of the space ship. It was enormous. A giant, space born creation that was smooth and elegant in shape. No numbers of identification of any kind dotted the surface, just a dim green and orange outline of stripes and circles.

"Those markings," Mabel said, "I've seen those before. When I passed out, I saw them."

"I hope you also saw a way to get home in that vision, Mabel," Dipper told her as they saw the edges of a wall of light circle around the ship, possibly a force-field. "Because I have no idea how we get back home from here."

"Don't worry," Mabel told him as the vehicle shifted, and they could see the bright inside of the ship, "we're going to get back. After we rescue everyone else first."

* * *

Merry Christmas, you freakin' animals! And a happy new year!

I'm going to re-iterate what's going on here, since this story has NEVER been updated in the middle of a week. Christmas and the next two days will have updates, concluding the first season of Return to Gravity Falls. After that, I'll be on a break for this story and be working on the next season in the background. Other stories of mine (and other's I'm working on) will still be updated, but this was taking up a lot of time, so this is a break I needed.

No author deaths for me this time of the year! *winks*

Seeya!

-EZB

* * *

**Rndb, hljkwlhv, brx fdq fdop grzq. Urerwv glg lqydgh dqg wdnh ryhu wkh zruog, brx zhuh uljkw. Fkloo.**


	20. The Town That Time Forgot: Part 1

There was cheering, congratulations, sighs of relief; all manner of happy outcries on the bridge.

The bridge of the vessel in Earths lower orbit was filled with cries of excitement. In the same uniform as the officer on the planet-bound vessel, they clapped and cheered as the bay doors closed and latched shut.

In the massive bridge was a huge screen, easily some fifty feet wide and tall, displaying the earth and its local space. Many smaller screens were scattered on its edge, displaying the various sides of the ship form certain recording angles. A statistic bar showed that the ship had once again engaged in its cloaking shield.

"Finally," one of the seven white-clad persons said in his alien language, "we've returned them back."

"Poor Animus must be terribly exhausted," one next to him said.

The two whom just spoke were stationed by a row of panels, where various controls and buttons were laid out before them. They were navigator and pilot to the vessel, and were proud of the accomplishment. Behind them and on a platform were five others, clapping their hands on their shoulders.

"This is a grand test all on its own," one of those on the platform said, overlooking the earth, "just imagine- Animus able to sustain themselves entirely on basic supplements- that was an amazing adjustment we made!"

"Considering the average operating time was supposed to be seven sequons, I'd definitely say so," another piped in.

"The prime council on Xabvus will have a great answer to why we hadn't returned yet," a third added declared, "field testing the Animus like that was a fantastic idea. Where is Uki-dohth?" the person suddenly asked, looking around.

"He is still in the research facility," a new, commanding voice told the six below him.

All of the figures in their body-clad uniforms turned. Sitting on a chair above them surveying everything with easy was the captain, clad just the same in the astronaut gear, but with a single bright orange stripe going past his chest at a diagonal angle.

"We are not done yet, you all," the captain told them, resting easily in his chair, but his voice firm and determined, "we have a single earth hour to download the information from the Animus and examine it. If Uki-Dohth can extrapolate a solution for the town down below, we will hold from announcing our return."

"But sir," one of those below, "if we don't reply to the expedition force inbound, they will board the ship, and assume we are breaking from the concordant. We could be put on trial!"

"It won't come to that," the captain told him, "when they arrive, they will discover us. When that happens, we will inform them of our situation, and willingness to comply with any, and all demands. Then, we go home- with or without the solution."

"Uki-dohth won't like that very much," the pilot mumbled, "poor guy's been working extra hard recently. Since those human children arrived."

"He's had to," the captain stood, marking his targets before him, "those children were extremely close to permanently harming one of the Animus. They were extremely curious and tenacious, and to sneak by them the few times was not something to scoff at."

"Don't have to remind me," the navigator told them, "ship to surface teleportation within primitive presence was about the scariest thing I've ever had to do. That one grave robber almost saw me!"

"I know. His canines almost picked up on your trail," the pilot added.

"If he can find a solution to the time-rift we created, then we will wait. Otherwise, when we are hailed by the expeditionary force, we leave Earth," the captain informed them, and then turned his attention to the navigator, "get me communication to the _Loitis_."

"Yes, captain," the navigator hit three buttons, and turned to his captain.

"Ken-Olun, report," The captain demanded loudly. "Condition aboard the _Loitis_?"

"The animus are preparing for de-assimilation. We can wipe their appearances and get them back into resting state within a few minutes," an excited voice told them, "then we can get going right?"

"Ken-Olun, remember; we're still working on the time-rift."

"Oh, yeah. The smart-o kid and his science experiment," the voice replied sarcastically, "fine. He gets his chance- and then we can head out?"

"Yes. Report to me once all the Animus are de-assimilated and their information downloaded," the captain told him once more.

"I will captain," Ken-Olun replied to the speaker in his visor before the line cut out. He was stepping out of the Steamer, the ship to planet-side shuttle, and activated a switch. The ship had landed in the bright white hanger of the science vessel, where the smooth surface easily outlined each of the metal crates and large barrel drums piled inside.

Still floating next to the ship was the thousand or so cylinders, rotating around intricately and humming gently of energy. The pilot of the smaller craft looked to his sleeve and clicked a button on a small console attached. A large, ornate diamond of similar look to the cylinders emerged from the wall, and slid itself into the invisible magnetic field of the cylinders. Zaps of bright blue light began to zap through the field and hit the diamond, which slowly was glowing.

"And that takes care of the uniform band-width," the pilot said in his language, "thank goodness for counter-charge operators."

With another push of the consol again, the cylinders began to piled and form the shape of a diamond around the larger object. Within a few moments, the entire collection of charges were floated back into the ceiling with the diamond.

"Now, for you guys," the pilot turned, and activated something on the console again. The stairs he took turned into downwards escalators, and there was the sound of marching. The entire inhabitants of Gravity Falls started stepping their way to the stairs, in a hypnotically aligned way.

"Oh, you poor Animus," the pilot told them as they began to file past him towards a pair of doors. As the first members of the 'Animus' walked through the door, which like the cockpit in the shuttle, slid open in four directions. Past the doors, many pods made of some organic, transparent matter awaited them, thousands in number.

"That's almost all of you," the pilot said to himself. The counter on the console beeped and counted each one off. Then the line ended, and he looked confused. Two were missing.

"Must be stuck on the geo-stabilizers," he groaned to himself as he stepped up the stairs, "poor guys. Call them state of the art and impressive all you want, they can be pretty stupid sometimes," he mumbled to himself, and scanned around briefly. He didn't see any in the initial corridor. So he turned to his left, and checked the next section. Still nothing. He turned around.

Something grabbed him half way through turning around, and forced him to slam against the wall next to him. His face hit the visor and his vision blurred as pain shot through his head.

"Ow! What is going-" the pilot demanded, but he lost all ability to speak. Something hard struck his midsection, and his vision left him, along with his thoughts. He passed out onto the floor with a loud slump.

"Got him!" Mabel cheered as Dipper let go of the alien man.

"For now," he told her, "we don't know how long he could remain out of commission though. Let's go."

The twins crept their way from the ship, spotting the last trail of the residents of Gravity Falls marching away into a large door across the hanger bay. Dipper pointed to them, and Mabel nodded, aware of the plan. The two of them crept down the stairs, looking around for signs of security or camera devices. Surely, if they were on an alien spaceship with the capacity for artificial gravity, they had cameras.

Yet no blaring sirens or klaxons shot off as they stepped down. There was nothing in here it seemed. A few piles of crates far off, and an entirely different craft- much smaller and more agile in design than the larger craft Dipper and Mabel were exiting.

"That way," Mabel said as they ran for the same doors the people had.

Dipper nodded and the two of them made it a rush for the door. Within a few moments, the four quadrants of the door slid away. The twins gasped.

They had just walked into what looked like a garden of wires, bio-mechanical plants, and gel lined pods. Dark green light cascaded down on them. The white floors were stained and had signs of decaying plant life. Closest to them, they could see a humanoid shape, devoid of all distinguishing properties curled into a fetal position, suspending in some sort of liquid. Wires and a few pipes had been inserted into its back from the top of the pod. That same blue light poured in and out of the wires and pipe, looking almost like a repertory system.

"Look!" Dipper pointed. Far ahead, the remaining line of the residents were filing into individual pods. The two walked over to the last one, one of the cooks at Greasy's Diner. As they watched, the open pod grew a filament wire cover, slowly stitching itself shut. As it closed up, a thick gel began to fill the bottom, rising up into the top of the pod.

"His skin," Mabel moaned as they watched.

The body began to re-form as the gel connected with the skin. Extra fat, muscle, scars, skin, hair, everything just dissolved and fell away, eventually exposing a bland white form, exactly the same as the hundred before it.

"It's... its like they're been deleted of their appearances," Dipper groaned as he looked around, "what the heck is going on here?"

"Man, and we thought the government was doing something here," Mabel laughed bitterly to herself and Dipper, "they got nothing on this level of tech."

"Tell me about it," Dipper nodded in agreement, feeling the side of the pod. "Mabel, I think these pod thingies are alive."

"Really?" she asked, turning away from one.

"They feel organic," Dipper told her, "you know, sort of like they're made of plants?"

"A plant spaceship?" Mabel asked him, and he shrugged. "Well... we'll have to write that up in the journal later, huh?" she told him. "Hey, let's keep going." Mabel looked around, and spotted a sign on the ground, telling her something in a language she didn't know. "That way says 'laboratory'."

"What? That just looks like a few lines on the ground," Dipper told her as she started walking forward.

"So does English if you look at it the right way," Mabel called over her shoulder. Dipper raised a finger to protest, but upon trying her suggestion in his head, found she wasn't wrong. He hummed in agreement and followed her lead.

Some hundred feet further ahead, the two stood before another opening square door. Bright white light met them, and an equally large room showed itself to them. This one was much more organized and clean than the previous, with sectioned off stations of transparent glass that formed into glass boxes.

Above them, just on the ceiling, were rows and rows of glistening white tubes, easily large enough for the standard human being, or slightly larger, to be station inside. A ever flowing mist that emitted light seemed contained in the tubes, and the twins found themselves staring for a few moments. The sound of sloshing water caught their attention.

Far ahead of them there was a massive aquarium, where something large circled the perimeter. Possibly a whale or other large marine animal. Around them, Dipper and Mabel saw many animals. Earth animals. There was a standard milk cow in a grass pen surrounded by glass a few feet away from the door.

"Ohhhh, hi there," Mabel said as she walked over to the cow, which lazily eyed her as it chewed on its grass. "How are you doing, missus cowington?"

"Mabel, c'mon," Dipper told her.

"But she's just sitting there-"

"She'll be fine. She's a cow," Dipper told her, "but we need to find our people first."

Mabel blew her lips out in a raspberry but said nothing past that. They continued to look around. Dogs, cats, a chameleon; all sorts of animals Dipper and Mabel were certain belonged to Gravity Falls were all here. A large space of roughly a front yard was divided for many dogs to run around excitedly, barking at Dipper and Mabel.

The cats too got their own compartment, several stumps and logs acting as a means for movement and vantage height. Mabel turned from looking at all the animals, and faced the lizard- on a large terrarium like casing, with a whole tree for it to linger. Several butterflies darted around the terrarium as well.

"It's not just people they were taking," Dipper realized as he spoke aloud, "they were taking animals."

"Yeah! This was Grenda's," Mabel pointed to the chameleon, which looked excitedly to Mabel, its eyes flicking around every-which way. "Yeah! Grenda! You know Grenda, don't you?"

"But why the animals too?" Dipper asked to Mabel, who stood up from looking at the lizard and faced her brother.

"Yeah, that's sort of weird," she nodded, "wouldn't someone looking to take over the town with super... whatever those were, just take the people? This seems like extra work to take care of all the animals as well."

"Maybe something makes them special," Dipper told her as he looked over to the pen of dogs, a particularly spoiled looking poodle glaring at Dipper.

"They... Dipper, these aren't wild," Mabel realized, "these are animals that belonged to people!"

"Oh!" Dipper stood up and looked around. Some of the cats he immediately recognized as belonging to Lazy Suzan. "You're right! But why?"

"Why do we one pets?" Mabel asked him, "that's a hard question to answer dude."

"No, why care?" Dipper turned to her, facing away from the very large aquarium, "if aliens are trying to invade, or take over a town for some nefarious purpose, why bother caring for their animals?"

"Maybe they're animal loving invaders," Mabel shrugged.

"I tend to think they'd see us as animals," Dipper told her.

Ka-thunk.

Dipper jumped and spun around as Mabel looked past him. The creature swimming in the large water tank hit the side with its tail- a thin and snake-like ending to a large body. Dipper and Mabel stepped closer to the side, their eyes wide. The shadow passed them by again, not at all like the shape of a while, but easily the size of one.

"What... it can't be," Dipper gasped. Mabel turned away and spotted a panel on the side of the aquarium.

"Dipper, come here," she said, as she touched the panel, and continued to activate buttons of various color and shape.

"Let me guess- you can read all of that too," Dipper said in awe. She shrugged quickly, and punched a button. From a tiny projector in the console, a holographic image of the creature was shown. It was a massive, elongated being, with a larger middle body than its tail and long neck. It bore four flippers, and at the front of its head, a pair of sharp tusks had grown out past its top jaw. Fins jutted along its side, and the two of them stared into the tank at the shadowy creature.

"That's the Gobblewonker," Dipper whispered.

"But wasn't that just a machine that McGucket made to get attention?" Mabel asked she pulled up a holographic tablet next to the spiraling imagine of the beast.

"Maybe not. The Gobblewonker story goes back a really, really long time- since before pilgrims came from the east coast forever ago," Dipper told her as he put his face against the tank, "so they got the Gobblewonker in here too."

"They listed it as 'Newest strain of earth bound species, native population calls plesiosaur'," Mabel told him, "life expectancy is very high for Earth being. Also, they say they 'recommend constant survey and study of biology for furthering adaptive programming' and stuff like that. They want to study it?"

"Why would they?" Dipper scratched the side of his face, leaning on the tank, "why would they just- whoa," Dipper, now facing away from the tank, saw to himself a very tall glass structure, like the others. Unlike the others though, it held no living creature.

Bursts of light, like explosions of gently rays of sun appeared and vanished within the casing. It was, maybe, twenty feet by twenty feet, and stretched the entire height of the room to the ceiling. Dipper stepped past his sister, gazing at the magnificence that was the golden bursts of elegant, soft visions. Mabel turned and followed, and then gasped when she saw the same thing he was.

"Oh wow," Mabel said once the two made it to be just before the glass, looking up its huge height, "What do you think this is?"

"Well, its bursting light, and its tall and important looking," Dipper pointed to the corners of the tall structure, where reinforced plating edged the meeting of the walls, "see? They're shoring it up. Maybe its a central generator."

"A generator? In the science lab?" Mabel shook her head. "Dipper, if there's one thing I've learned from space movies, its that everyone departmentalizes."

"...They departmentalize," Dipper repeated, shocked with her sudden burst of a more infrequent word. "And you said you struggled through English?"

"I hated Shakespeare," she told him easily. "I got to liking him later, but it held me back."

"Oh. Well, anyway, I think you're right," Dipper told her with a nod, "if this was a power generator for the ship, we would see more... uh, gizmos," Dipper turned around looking for any signs of importance to what they were looking at. He did spot a terminal on a platform behind the terrarium and cow pasture.

"Bro?" Mabel spotted Dipper walking away.

"Over here, I think I spotted something," Dipper said, and found a set of stairs behind the two glass casings. As he climbed, Mabel jogged over, and kept up with him. Dipper gasped as he reached the top. They were just a few feet from under the ceiling now, and the catwalk they stood on weaved between the endless rows of tubes.

"What are they?" Dipper asked to his sister.

"I can't see any of that writing stuff anywhere," Mabel said quietly. Dipper stopped by one of the tubes, staring into the light. It seemed so peaceful, and familiar. Yet it made an eerie ringing tune, like when their ears popped. They only heard it when they were too close to the Tube, so Dipper made sure to keep his distance.

Then he saw something inside the tube. A person.

"Mabel!" Dipper pointed," Mabel! Did you see it!?" He turned to Mabel who just whipped around to him. "Look! Look- oh what!?" Dipper stared back into the light, seeing nothing.

"What did you see?" she asked him anyway.

"I could have sworn I saw someone in there," Dipper told her as he looked away for a moment, "like, frozen solid sort of."

"That doesn't look like ice to me," Mabel reminded him as she stared around the many displayed tubes by the catwalk. "If people are inside these, I don't see them myself."

"You sure-" Dipper caught it again, the outline of a person suspended in the golden and silver rays of light, stuck in a perpetual motion. "MABEL! Again!" he pointed excitedly. "What if the people are in these!?"

"Dipper, I don't see- OH!"

The two looked again, and sure as the catwalk they stood on, there, inside the rays, a person flashed before them. Just an outline of a person, but a person none the less. The two yelled and laughed as they hugged one another.

They found their friends.

They found the residents of Gravity Falls.

"So, how do we get them out of these do you think?" Dipper excitedly asked after the two quickly hugged.

"I bet we can find a consol that will tell us," Mabel decided, and pushed past her brother. The two walked down the catwalks, passing many more glowing cases, and the occasional silhouette of a person. Finally, after several turns to find their way, Dipper and Mabel found an operating platform in the middle of the room, directly above the water filled tank. Mabel walked over, almost missing a step as the platform was a few inches lower than the catwalks.

"Okay," she cracked her knuckles in a stretch, "let's see if the Mabes can do, what the Mabes can do."

She touched the screen, and began to activate things. Buttons, screens, various inquiries all seemed to zoom by her, and she just passed one after another. Dipper was amazed at how fast her fingers were flying around the screen, and he smiled, excited to watch this girl work her magic in a way he had not yet seen. With a firm click, she clicked a button.

"Aww what," Mabel groaned, as a deep red flash warned her.

"What? What did you do?" Dipper quickly panicked.

"Nothing! It just warned me that the password was incorrect," she said.

"Password?"

"Yeah. These things are on lockdown. They're called 'Chrono-Locks', apparently," Mabel added as she looked through more information.

There was a loud hiss somewhere far behind them. Dipper and Mabel spun around, forgetting about the panel. A door on level with them opened some thirty feet away, obscured by the rows of tubes.

"Hide, dude!" Mabel told Dipper. As Dipper spun around, looking for a place to hide, Mabel almost instantly vanished.

"Oh, are you kidding me!?" Dipper hissed as he looked around. There weren't really any great hiding spots. Heavy footsteps were coming though, and he made a split second decision.

Out from one corner, another alien figure approached, wearing an astronaut suit. He was humming to himself happily, looking at a consol imbedded in one of the arms of the over-suit. The man made it to the main platform and sighed. He was about the same height as Dipper was underneath the outfit.

"About time we got them back," he said in his alien language, "now, let's see if the download is complete. Come on, human biology, work your wonderfully stubborn ways."

The man then realized that the screen was left on, and that it was on a password was left partially entered.

"What... what is an alpaca?" The alien mumbled, the word 'Alpaca' in complete English. Dipper gasped accidentally, shocked that the alien could speak anything that he understood.

The alien heard him. Slowly, looking up from the terminal, the alien stared to Dipper, who was clinging behind one of the tubes to the side of the newest member of the catwalk. The newcomer was considerably younger than the other alien pilot looked, with smoother features and less coarse skin that the pilot had. He too seemed to have leaf-like bits in his hair. He had bright pink eyes, and stared at Dipper, a mouth slightly open.

"Eh," the younger looking alien said slowly, staring at Dipper, who didn't budge an atom. "Are you real?" he asked in his alien tongue, to which Dipper just continued to stare. "Okay," the alien turned away, staring at the console, "it must be a hallucination from stress. I'm seeing humans on the chronostasis. Wait a second-" the alien spun around to Dipper. "You!?"

"AHA!" Mabel shouted, leaping down from one of the tubes, slamming the younger alien into the command console.

"Ack!" The alien gasped as he fell.

"Mabel!" Dipper began to squirm out from the tube, as Mabel spun the Alien around, her fist raised.

"DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR!" Mabel roared, but Dipper held back her injuring next attack.

"Wait!" Dipper shouted.

"Wait!" the alien shouted.

"Exactly," Dipper nodded to the alien as Mabel gasped, "see? Please don't beat... the... alien..." Dipper slowed down to a stop. Mabel stared at Dipper, who's brain slowly processed what had just happened. Turning to face the alien, staring up at them with an arm raised in defense, Dipper realized that he had spoken in English. "You can speak our language?" Dipper demanded.

"Yes," the alien nodded, "My studies of your globe have taken a turn many a time on English. Yea, I have studied the language you speak."

"What?" Dipper laughed at the word 'yea', "where did you study, exactly?"

"Is my dialect incorrect?" the alien asked, worryingly staring at Dipper and Mabel.

"No, but you sound like you're from the renaissance fair," Mabel told him, "you trying to start something, Alieny? Huh? Say we're old or stuff!?"

"E-excuse me?"

"Mabel, hold on," Dipper held a hand back to his sister, and turned to her, "what's with the super-aggression?"

"I dunno. I felt like maybe if we played hard-ball, we'd get more done that way?" she explained. "You know, in case that find out we're on board."

"Hard-ball?" the alien repeated.

"Shush," the twins told him, and the alien nodded and stayed put. Dipper turned back to his sister.

"This guy could be the answer to the solution for figuring out what is going on," Dipper told her, "he just popped out of no where and made for that panel. If we can have him tell us the password," Dipper left the rest to Mabel for interpretation. She sighed angrily, but nodded.

"I totally would have won though," she lowered his stance. Dipper rolled his eyes and stared down at the still trembling Alien.

"Okay, invader, this is how this is going to work," Dipper pointed a declarative finger towards the being.

"Wait, invader?" the alien inquired, "that means to take away; to claim land for your own name that is still owned, yes?"

"Uh, yeah?" Mabel nodded, "and it's what you jerks are totally doing."

"We are not invaders," the alien swore to them, "we are scientists!"

"Everyone's a scientist," Mabel rolled her eyes, "I'm a scientist if I say I am. Well, just because you're invading in the _name of science_," Mabel stepped closer to the alien, who cowered more at her advanced, "doesn't make it a peaceful study!"

"W-w-w-what?" the Alien blustered.

"She's right. If you're not invaders, why did you take everyone in town away and replace them with robots?" Dipper demanded of him, "and don't lie. I'm holding my sister back, but I think she's willing to prove to herself that she can handle a few aliens in a fight."

"No! Please," the alien pushed himself all the way against a platform, "I wish not to fight! I am no guard. I am a scientist. Please, allow me to explain?" the alien asked as he held his hands before the twins, trying to keep them back.

Those sirens on the ship that had been inactive for so long blared to life. Dipper swore and Mabel looked around. The alien gasped as the two scanned around them, clearly worried they would turn on him at any moment.

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE PRESENCE OF ALIENS ON BOARD."

"That sounds horrible!" Dipper growled as he held his ears, only detecting whistles and clicks as a language. "How do they communicate like that?"

"Well, I'd say not that," the Alien leant on his knees, "with our own tongue we get along passing fair."

"What's it saying?!" Dipper demanded of the alien captive, who shirked away a little from Dipper's hostility.

"It's saying," he and Mabel answered at the same time, and Mabel eyed the alien, who gasped.

"It's saying," Mabel repeated herself, "that there are hostile primitive lifeforms on board."

"Astounding!" the alien before them gasped and stood up, staring at Mabel with wide, shining pink eyes, "you... you understand Urlin," the Alien faced them, his smile entirely earnest, and spoke to Mabel is his native tongue, "This is incredible! How did you study our language? I wasn't aware of interaction with your species on an information sharing level!"

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE PRESENCE OF ALIENS ON BOARD."

"We don't share," Mabel told him in English, "I got zapped by one of those thingies of yours and now I hear and read your goofy language."

"Amazing!" the alien changed back to English after Dipper cleared his throat, "Ah. Yes. Apologies."

"How about you help us hide from whatever guards are about to come rolling in, and we won't finish this fight here," Dipper told him as the sirens continued to blare noisily. "These things are giving me a headache!"

"I..." The alien turned away, looking to where he had come from, but nodded, "very well. Make haste, now."

The Alien motioned for them to move on, and Dipper took the lead. Mabel followed after the Alien, who eyed her cautiously. Their footsteps clattered against the metal grate of the catwalk, until Dipper found himself by a white door.

"Allow me," the alien told them, and stepped up to the door. The four sections slid away, and he stepped inside hurriedly. It was a darker, unlit room, save for a huge display of many monitors in front of him. A single seat was turned away to them, presumably where the Alien had just stood up.

"That's Gravity Falls," Mabel pointed to the screens, where an empty town rested, "you've been watching us this entire time!" she declared as the alien took his seat.

"Indeed. My order is that of observation; to monitor the selected region for investigation," the alien told them, clicking away rapidly on a series of panels before him, changing the screens to previous recordings.

"Why?" Dipper demanded as the doors behind him closed. "To what purpose?"

"Study," the alien assured them.

"A likely story!" Mabel poked the back of his helmet.

"If my own tales you believe not, read that of our orders," he clicked a few more times and one of the monitors changed from a security scan to a form of some sort, alien in design and language. "Try your own eyes at believing my sentiment."

Mabel leaned closer, staring into the strange form. A brief moment passed where she cleared her throat, and then began to read aloud. "It is the mission of the Science Vessel _Fershul _to conduct a research survey on the primitive sector, terra, of the third planet from the star, into a matter regarding Chrono-signatures. Three Ultris ago, a large chrono-signature was detected from this planet, even though there are no reports of technology of that caliber available on the local population."

"Wait... he's serious," Dipper turned to the Alien, who was nodding.

Mabel continued reading aloud. "Your mission is to uncover the source of the chrono-signature, and if possible, rectify the problem it may have caused. Use extreme desecration; Human beings are aggressive and nervous as a species, and will fight if tempted. Their atmosphere and gravity have allowed them to adapt a slew of fighting techniques. Do not engage them directly."

Mabel finished reading the note, and felt a twinge of regret on the back of her neck. She had acted exactly as they predicted, and it wasn't in a positive light. The Alien was still staring at the twins expectantly, even as the sirens blared off in the rest of the ship.

"Hey," Mabel extended a hand to him, "sorry for kicking your butt like that. I was kind of mean there, you know."

The alien stared at her hand and he slowly reached out and took her hand in a shake. A fear imbedded into his eyes slowly dissipated as he looked to Dipper, and extended the handshake to him. Dipper chuckled and took it as well. Before the twins could react, the Alien leapt into the air, cheering.

"AMAZING! I knew it could be done!" he told them, almost prompting Mabel to get back into fight-mode, "Xabvri to Human contact can be accomplished and peace be shared! Oh, happy day!" he exclaimed, spinning in his chair as he laughed.

"He really is a scientist, isn't he?" Mabel asked Dipper, who shrugged.

"Hey, scientist," Dipper told him, "look. We'll leave you alone and get off your ship or whatever, but we need the people from the town back. That's all we're here for."

The smile on the astronaut wearing suited Alien faded quickly. He gulped and looked between the two of them. He already looked apologetic, possibly even fearful.

"Things are not as simple as that, my friends," the alien said.

"Why not?" Mabel demanded, "just beam them down. You know-" she had her hands meet in a vertical line with her fingers burst out like an explosion, "kashploo!"

"Our teleportation beams have been off line for just under half a Ultris," the Alien announced, "ah, that would be... uh, three of your years?"

"For three years?" Dipper asked, looking to Mabel. They didn't deal with the likes of coincidences. Three years was about the same time when the week of missing data happened. Around the same time when the population of Gravity Falls could have been spirited away and replaced with robots. "I get it now."

"You... do?" the alien asked.

"Oh yeah. I do," Dipper looked to the screens, putting together his puzzle, "you wanted to abduct humans for study. Maybe something happened with the teleporter you all own, and instead of one-"

"You took the whole town," Mabel declared, also coming to the conclusion, "meaning that your mission was jeopardized. If people knew that an entire town went up in smoke-"

"You would have directly had an influence on the 'native population'," Dipper furthered, "so, to avoid your own governments punishment, you stayed behind, replacing the town with robots-"

"Which we discovered, forcing you to recall them all," Mabel summarized. The twins grinned and quickly high-fived, fist bumped, locked their arms and butted shoulders. Instantaneous twin-handshake. The Alien watched them with wide eyes. "That's all right, isn't it?"

"I wish it were so," the alien announced sadly, "the teleporters are not to blame... I am."

"You are?" the twins echoed.

"To explain, I must explain why we used Animus in the town at all," the alien turned away from them activating the panel again, and turned on a screen, showing an upright version of the blank robots form.

"Hey! It's those guys!" Mabel pointed.

"Yes, indeed," the alien nodded, "these are Animus."

"Animus... so, robots?" Dipper asked.

"To your terminology, the closest words we have is 'artificial person'," the Alien told them. "They are perfect infiltration organisms. They are entirely adaptable to any environment that life can sustain we've recorded. A quick survey of the organism species we wish to study is all that is required, and then we install the biological components into the Animus, and send them to study the people, as one of the people."

"They are people then," Mabel gasped, "they're not robots at all."

"Well... I wouldn't go that far," the alien continued, "they are programmed. As it turns out, the memory grafting we use to install missions into Animus are almost identical to that of human nerve receptions. We were able to install entire humans beings onto the Animus, once we sufficiently analyzed their brain patterns."

"That's why they thought they were the people," Mabel told Dipper, who nodded in reply.

"So then where are the people of Gravity Falls?" Dipper demanded, worried about the lack of direct response to the Aliens response. He eyed them nervously, staring between one another. "Please, tell us where they are."

The Alien sighed and told them, "They no longer exist."

Dipper stumbled for a moment. Falling almost backwards at the news. Mabel cupped a hand over her mouth, stifling a gasping cry.

"You- you mean they're-" Dipper started asking, his eyes wide as he scanned for the right phrase to say. He couldn't get the words out. All the Alien did was sit there sadly, his head bowing slightly.

The door behind them opened, and before Dipper and Mabel could recover, tears about to stream down their faces, eight larger aliens stormed inside, unarmed, but considerably larger than their comrade sitting next to them.

One of them lifted his arm up, and spoke it a surprisingly soft and feminine tone, "we found the intruders."

"Guards, please," the alien by the chair stood quickly as the seven others moved quickly, slapping onto the numbed twins magnetic handcuffs, begging them in his strange language, "they do not mean-"

"They incapacitated Ken-Olun," the soft spoken leader replied, "they are hostile. Are you injured, Uki-Dohth?" The Alien shook his head. "Good. Escort the intruders to confinement."

Dipper and Mabel were pushed ahead, nearly tripping but moving silently.

Their footsteps echoed along with the eight others as they left the scientist behind. None of it seemed to register though.

What that scientist had said was the only thing that resonated in their heads.

They no longer exist.

They were passing the golden and silver lights stored in tubes, and occasionally a shadowy figure appeared again before them, out of focus. They were ghosts now, reminders of how far the twins had gotten, and found only nothing. Less then nothing, really. They had only uncovered a huge secret that they, for the rest of their lives would probably be unable to tell anyone else about.

They passed by the ladder that lead up to the catwalk, and instead found another doorway. That door opened and they continued through. Various large rooms, sprawling with different purposes passed by the hypnotized twins. They saw a factory for the suits the aliens wore, filling the flattened suits with a specialized air that was pumped in from an attachment on the backs of the aliens gear.

Through two more rooms, one a large meeting room, and finally into what appeared to be a brig. It was entirely empty, and easily the smallest of the rooms, only the size of a standard basket ball court. It was section off by beams of energy, force fields that shimmered with traces of orange and freckles of yellow. One of the beams dissipated as the twins approached, and they were pushed inside. There was a single, fabric-less small bed and a white stump of a chair inside, all matching the white walls and floor.

"You will remain here," the head guard told them in her language, and they all turned away as the beam re-assembled. As the last of them moved out of the room, the twins stared to one another

They were alone now.

"No longer exist," Mabel re-stated, and fell against the bed, which was not as comfortable as she had hoped, "ow!" She looked to her brother as she massaged her rear. He was staring at the same spot on the ground, his eyes swimming with thoughts. "Dipper?"

"We never had a chance," Dipper told her as he slowly sat down, still blankly staring ahead, "we never really had a chance, did we?"

"What? That's, that's just stupid," Mabel told him angrily from the bed, "we're not done here! We can totally bust out of this prison! They get a glass jaw, remember?" She tried grinning triumphant. He still did not face her. "We just have to have them lower their guard. I've been trained by my master how to fight in handcuffs before," she told him, wiggling her hands above her head, "we got this in the bag, and then we can-"

"We can _what_, exactly!?" Dipper shouted.

Mabel's mouth closed and her energy deflated. He looked so hurt and pained it ate away at her courage entirely.

"We need to go home," she said quietly, resting her constricted hands on her lap. "Mom and dad are waiting for us."

"Right," Dipper nodded sleepily as he stared at her, "because we're totally going to see them ever again. Like, this isn't our end, is it?"

"Dipper," Mabel mumbled, fighting the terrible sense of foreboding.

"Mabel... I think we lost this one," Dipper told her with a shuddering gasp.

"Nope."

"Mabel."

"I won't stop trying," she told him angrily.

"What can we do? Huh?" he demanded, standing up, and punching the force-field to no effect, "see? I'm trying, Mabel!" he shouted as he punched again and again, "It's not doing much, is it!?"

"Dipper! Stop it!" she shouted as he slammed his fists against the barrier once more before pacing back and forth again.

"We should have just gone home when we got Grunkle Stan back," Dipper mumbled, "we should have just gone back, and continued with our summer like... like normal people. Then none of this would have happened!"

"They still would have been not real!" Mabel told Dipper, who groaned loudly, "and we would have noticed eventually!"

"Would we!?" he shouted, "really? How? Luck? Chance?"

"All the above, you stupid," Mabel replied calmly. Dipper leaned against the opposite walls, his arms crossed as he huffed angrily.

"Well, I wouldn't have had my arm sliced open," he mentioned his right arm, "you wouldn't have almost been killed by robbers, then ACTUALLY killed in that Strongholds and Serpents game, and we wouldn't be HERE!" Dipper roared to the ceiling, and began to claw at his hair. "It's all my fault! This, us being here! I decided we should go back and spend two weeks! It's all my-"

"DIPPER!" Mabel roared, louder than he had ever heard her before. His angered wailing came to a halt. Tears were falling down her face, but she had the look of someone ready for a fight. "I made that choice too, remember?" she told him, "I wanted to stay back and chill with you!"

"B-but-"

"Shut it!" she told him, "you want to act like this is all your fault? Well, it isn't!" she told him, pushing herself off the bed and marching over to him. "We decided to do this! Together! Didn't we?!"

"... yes," Dipper nodded with a saddened sigh. Mabel's breaths came slower and the red in her face started to recede. "Sorry," Dipper added as she stepped away, pushing hair away from her face.

"And if we hadn't come," she told him a trembling grin growing, "look at what we would have missed? Dipper, we stopped some jerk warlock from hurting people, we made friends with a goblin city, we played easily the coolest, most dangerous game ever, and we met some awesome bird-people. Dipper, you got to spend more time with Wendy," Mabel added, yet Dipper merely scoffed.

"I spent time with a robot Wendy," he then sighed and quickly corrected himself, "sorry: Animus Wendy."

"But she was real," Mabel told him as she sat back down, "if that scientist guy didn't lie to us, and I don't know that much about aliens but he seemed like he wasn't lying to us," she smiled to him stronger than before, "that Animus was acting and thinking just like Wendy was."

He nodded, half smile as Mabel giggled. He appreciated her realness with him, how much differently she was treating his crush this time. Maybe it was just the situation calling for a more mature, heartfelt approach, but Dipper felt immensely better.

"I had so many questions for her," Dipper told Mabel, shaking his head in regret.

"I know, bro," she replied sadly.

"I should have asked her out," Dipper said decisively.

The door by the corner of the room opened, and in walked the troop of guards with a new figure, taller and wider shoulders than the rest. Once he approached, his visor showed a tough, grizzled looking man with strong jaw line and course skin. Before he even spoke, he applied a finger to the consol on his arm, and a beep replied.

"I am aware," the captain said, English coming out from his consol in a robotic voice, "that on earth custom, you have the term known as 'trespassing'. We too have this word."

"They had a translator this entire time," Dipper growled as he stood up with Mabel and approached the barrier, "so you can understand us?"

"If you could speak slowly, yes," the leader told him, "the computer can only catch so much so quickly."

"Fine," Dipper nodded, and slowed his words, "who are you?"

"I am Captain Hyul-Pruq, of the Science Vessel _Fershul_, expeditionary group of the Prime Council on Xabvus, of the Toldori Concordant," the captain announced firmly, letting each official title sink into Dipper and Mabel.

"That was a whole lot of words and names," Mabel nodded and looked to her brother, "you caught all of that, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'll need a proper translation later," she said and looked back to the captain. "Well, captain, my captain, we demand you tell us what happened to the residents of the town of Gravity Falls. Under authority of the Mystery Twin Secret society, we ask for your answers!" Mabel barked with similar authority of the captain.

He eyed them, and then looked to the guards. Clearly he hadn't expected such a vibrant reply, but he turned back shaking off his confusion quickly.

"They no longer exist in the linear flow of time," the captain told them, that horrible robot voice coldly answering the question.

"What?" Dipper blurted out, "what does that even mean?"

"Thirty or so of your earth years ago," the captain told them," we detected a surge of chrono-energy: a type of radiation that is responsible for faster than light travel, teleportation and is hypothesized to be used in dimensional gateway creation."

The twins gasped. Thirty years ago synched perfectly with another crazy event that they knew about- their Grandfather's disappearance into the portal under the Mystery shack. That happened almost exactly thirty five years ago.

"It was considered an interest, but three years ago, we detected a surge in activity of the same kind of energy," the captain continued, pushing buttons on his consol to illustrate his story, where planet Earth popped into existence. "We knew this amount of activity was not a fluke. The _Fershul_ was the fastest Science vessel we Xabvri have ever created, and so we investigated. What we found, however, confused us."

"We discovered, at the coordinates of the epicenter of energy, a backwards town with little to no technological significance. Albeit, many strange energy signatures permeated in the area, we couldn't find the source. Our lead scientist, Uki-Dohth," the captain looked to Dipper and Mabel, "the poor Xab you accosted by the labs, suggested we try using a Chrono-stasis to freeze the town while we investigated."

"A Chrono-stasis?" Dipper asked," like those tubes we saw by the animals?"

"Yes," the captain nodded, "however, Uki-Dohth and I made a grave error."

"Something happened when you tried doing whatever to the town, didn't it?" Mabel asked the captain. He nodded.

"There was residual energy of the actions that had happened some time before our arrival. It reacted badly with the attempted chrono-stasis. Those who had been effected by the energy were... well, they ceased to exist."

"How is that possible!?" Dipper stepped closer quickly, putting the guards nearby on edge, "how can someone just 'cease to exist'?"

"The chrono-stasis puts a target in a temporary time-free section of the universe we create. To a target, they don't experience a single change in time- they are perfectly frozen. However-" a door opened behind the captain and the guards, and the scientist from before entered the room, holding a small measuring device that looked like an oversized calculator, and the captain continued, "however, when the rouge energy interacted with the chrono-stasis, it broke away the containment field that held the person in time consistently."

"But then they'd just wake up or whatever," Mabel told him, not following the problem.

"No. With the field broken, they no longer remained in the linear time stream that our universe follows. They no longer could remain existing past the point we froze them into. All one thousand and seventeen people living in the town were whisked away from time at that moment, and therefore existence."

"They... they just vanished?" Mabel said, shaken at the terrible fate that could have befallen her friends in the town of Gravity Falls.

"But, you can get them back, right?" Dipper asked of the captain, as the scientist scanned him with his device.

"We... have spent the past third of an Ultris, or three of your years," the captain told him, "searching for a solution."

Dipper gasped and stepped back. It had been one huge miscommunication. If these aliens, like their scientist hadn't been lying, there had never been an invasion force. They weren't trying to take people away and replace them. Dipper clunked his head with his palm and laughed. "That's why you used your Animus- to replace the people of the town so that no one else would notice a difference!"

"Your words speak truth," the scientist told Dipper with a faint grin. There was a beep on the device, and he gasped. "Captain," the alien scientist stood, and spoke in his native tongue, "they read with being also effected by the rouge energy."

"You're certain?" the captain turned to him, his translator still active.

"What did he say?" Dipper asked Mabel.

"Rouge energy is on us, dude," Mabel told him worriedly.

"Positive. They may have been present for the events a third of an Ultris ago," the scientist told his captain. "I think this could be good. No, this could be great! If I can extrapolate their rouge energy into the stored databanks of the saved energy from the town's residence-"

"You saved the town!?" Mabel gasped, pushing her hands onto the barrier.

"Uki-Dohth," the captain looked to his younger scientist, "can this girl understand you?" The scientist slowly nodded. "How?"

"I believe she was at the center of the uniform band energy collision that the memory charges produced. Our language was more than likely imprinted into her brain. As a result, she probably can understand and read all of our language," the scientist explained. "Either that, or she has telepathic powers we cannot detect on her."

"I could be both!" Mabel told them, and chuckled darkly.

"Both... what?" Dipper asked her.

"Captain, please, allow me to escort them to the lab," the scientist begged as he spoke in whistles and clicks, "the rouge energy on their bodies could be the answer to helping the humans we erased return to reality. Hyul-Pruq, please?" the scientist begged.

The man in charged looked between the twins and the man begging him to release them. He opened his mouth to speak, but his console beeped loudly. He turned to it quickly, and pressed a button. "Yes?"

"Sir, the Toldori Frigate _Bim'Lo_ is approaching. They'll be in hailing distance in a matter of minutes," the alien voice told his captain. The man in charged closed his eyes as the scientist sighed angrily.

"Toldori. Great. Please, captain-"

"Quiet, Uki-Dohth," the captain warned him, and turned to the console, still being translated to English, "once they are in hailing distance, please gain communication. Tell them we will be leaving as soon as we can. We're leaving earth."

"What!?" the twins yelled.

"What about us?" Mabel begged as the captain lowered the communications channel.

"As it stands," he started to say slowly, "you will be accompanying us to Xabvus, our home world. Once you are there, you will likely be tried of trespassing and assault of an officer. After that is dealt with, and you are subsequently dealt justice, you will be returned to your planet. Until then... you remain here."

The captain turned away, having the guards follow him.

"Sir, please!" the scientist begged louder.

"Doctor, to your post," the captain said with finality as he deactivated his translator. He and his eight guards departed in a rush, leaving only the echoes of his steps behind.

The scientist fumbled with his energy detection device, staring at the results hopefully. He flicked to them a few glances, and they stared back. With a shake of his head, he turned fully away and started for the door.

"That's it?" Dipper called after him, "you're just going to give in!?"

"Tell me, is there yet a solution I have found not?" the alien spoke in his strange English. "Show me then. What am I missing?"

"Us!" Mabel pointed to herself and Dipper. "We can help this! Can't we? That crazy energy thing!"

"It's only a hypothesis," the scientist urged them, stepping backwards towards the door. "And I'm out of time. I'm so sorry."

"Wait-" Dipper called, but the alien turned and walked away, leaving the closing door. "WAIT!"

"Damn," Mabel leaned her head against the force-field.

"WAIT!" Dipper yelled, "What about all those lives! All those people!? They havn't even been killed! There's no resolution for them!" his voice echoed around the clean white room, fighting for attention from no one. "You left them all in a single point in time! They don't even know that they're stuck! They could be like that forever! Frozen, as their world moves around them! Do you want to be left with that on your consciousness!?"

His shouts bounced around the walls of the room, and Dipper roared angrily, storming from the barrier.

"COME BACK!" he screamed to the wall.

"He's gone, Dipper," Mabel told him with an empty voice. "I hope alien law isn't anything like Fairy law," she chuckled sadly at her own joke.

The door opened, and the two shot around to stare. It was the scientist again.

"You are most certainly right," he told them, and approached a terminal next to the barrier gateway. He typed a few quick symbols into the console, and the barrier fell. "It was I who made this mistake. It was I who convinced the rest of the crew that we needed to stay and correct this blunder. And... it will be I who will save those poor humans."

"You," Mabel patted his shoulder as she stepped closer, "I like you now."

"Ah... thank you?" the alien asked, "I have a question; to what form of 'like' do you refer to?"

"Friends," Mabel told him with another quick set of pats.

"Ah! I accept your compliments!" the alien returned her pat on the shoulder, "we can be friends as well!" Mabel laughed and hugged him. "Ah! Ow! My body is not adjusted to your pressuring grip!"

"What?" Mabel gasped and then let go, and the alien gasped, "sorry!"

"That's just Mabel for you," Dipper told the scientist as he gasped for air in his suit. "I'm Dipper, by the way," Dipper extended a hand.

"And I'm Mabel," she added, also extending a hand to him. The scientist looked like space-Christmas had come early. He quickly grasped each of their hands, using the wrong hand for each handshake.

"And my name is Uki-Dohth," he told them as he lowered their hands, "it is a pleasure to make acquaintances with humans like yourselves!"

"Uki-Dohth, huh?" Mabel asked, pondering the name with a finger on her chin. "That needs a nickname. I like... Yuki."

"But, that is not my-"

"Yuki it is!" Mabel declared cheerily.

"Just get used to it," Dipper told the confused Uki-Dohth, "she's already got it in her head. So, how do we fix our town?" Dipper asked their new friend and ally. He grinned and nodded.

"Follow me, my companions," he told them, and turned away, leading them from the brig and back out towards the labs.

* * *

Insert dramatic music. As they run out of the brig, I mean. Although lets all be fair- dramatic music for all these scenes would have made it awesome. AHHH this needs to to animated! D:

So, there you have it. Second to last one. Tomorrow, around the same time as now. Ish. Season one ends. Hold on tight, my friends. We'll get through this together.

I hope you enjoyed! And always remember to review!

-EZB


	21. The Town That Time Forgot: Part 2

Several of the guards coming from the brig had just climbed down the stairs in the white laboratory, following their captain towards the pathways for the bridge. No sooner had they left the room then did the four sections of the laboratory door slid open in a hurry. Uki-Dohth, scientist of the Aliens known as Xabvi, popped his head past the doors. Then he was followed by Mabel Pines, and her brother Dipper. Each them scanned the area ahead, flipping their faces to face on section of catwalk or another.

"We are alone," Uki-Dohth, or Yuki as Mabel pronounced him, told them quietly as he fidgeted with his scanner in his hands, "keep your sense to you."

"Uh, you mean 'be quiet'?" Dipper asked as Yuki started walking ahead slowly.

"Of course. I admit I am no longer certain my intimacy of the English language is spot on," Yuki admitted with a shy smile.

"Coulda told you that one," Mabel snickered as she and Dipper followed suit. They both stopped by one of the tubs if gold and silver as a black silhouette flickered before them. "Yuki," Mabel called to the alien, who spun around, "you all said that the people in Gravity Falls no longer exist. What's with these then?" she pointed to the tubes.

"Ah. They are but reality suspensions. These tubular devices conduct high levels of what are known as tachyons and a localized spatial graviton beam, and they entwine together as a field, warping together a sub-space vibration. That vibration is the local of the humans of Gravity Falls. We store them in hither," he nodded to the golden and silver light, "for this is the closest composite solution I could come up with to not having their sub-space particles fade out of the universe."

"Dipper- translation: Was anything he said good news?" Mabel turned to Dipper, who shrugged.

"Basically they're keeping the outline of Gravity Falls in these, so they can keep track of them," Dipper simplified and Mabel nodded, "that way they don't fizzle out of existence."

"Phew! Nice one," Mabel patted Yuki's shoulder.

"My thanks to you," Yuki bowed, and Mabel laughed. "Was I being funny?"

"Just say 'thank you'," Dipper told him with his own grin.

"I don't know, I kind of like how he speaks like he's in the renaissance," Mabel told her brother.

"Ah... Thank you," Yuki tried again, and turned away, clearly uncertain in his choice of words. Mabel pouted and swatted her brother's arm.

"Ow! What?" he demanded.

"Ruining my fun," she grumbled as they followed after Yuki.

The three walked past the central platform they had met by and continued towards the darkened room. Yuki stepped inside first, and rushed to the large panel of screens before him.

Only a few seconds passed as he sat down, placed aside the scanner, and the screens all were changed and visually switched. Yuki's fingers were jabbing and clicking so fast they were a blur as the twins watched. Information charts, several images of human anatomy, something that looked like a chart of a black hole- all manners of different charts appeared in front of them.

"Woah. You need all of that?" Dipper asked, stepping closer to look at some of the images.

"My studies take many routes," Yuki told him distractedly as he typed away, "the human brain and stem are very different than our standard, un-adapted physiology. Without proper understanding of your bodies functions, it is possible to end up slaying your kin, as opposed to returning them to their rightful state."

"You mean they'd die?" Mabel gasped, "can we help?"

"Your presence is help enough," Yuki told them easily, grasping the scanner, "you see, the rouge energy traits that you bare-"

"Are these energies dangerous?" Dipper cut the alien off.

"Not to humans. My species would be irreversibly adapted to such radiation. We would die in a matter of hours."

"Adapted, are you sure you're using that word right?" Mabel asked Yuki as he reached under the console for a wire and inserted into a small port in the scanner.

"Adapt- to adjust to certain conditions, this is correct?" Yuki turned to her.

"That sounds right, okay," Mabel nodded, "but why do you keep saying that you would be 'adapted' to everything? Don't you mean killed?"

"Life on planet Earth is not like Xabvus. Xabvri, my species, "Yuki pointed to myself, "are grown for the conditions that our planet provides. Yet, we've discovered our bodies are extremely capable to, unfortunately, permanent adaptation to environments that would otherwise kill us."

"That... that's why we're breathing atmosphere that suits us?" Dipper asked, "and not suffocating on your ship?"

"Directive six of biological examination: we adapt to their needs. When we spirit away living samples, such as the specimens below," Yuki nodded to the door, "our directive does not permit us to limit their biological requirements. We understand that captivity is a common fear among living creatures, so if one was to escape and die from exposure of our air, we would be held accountable. So, we adopt these," he pointed to his gear, "for our safety. Otherwise, we would have adapted to life conditions of this atmosphere for the rest of our lives."

"That's amazing," Dipper said to him. His mind reeled at the idea that there were species who could change their biology so quickly to a new setting, but his mind was still settled on the task at hand. "So, what do you need from us?"

"Remain still for a moment," Yuki told them, standing with his scanner as he faced them. A small needle was removed from the underside of the scanner and he moved towards Dipper, who stepped back.

"Ah- I'd rather not be stabbed by some alien thingy," Dipper told him.

"Come now, this is quintessential to restoring the town," Yuki told him , adjusting his gear momentarily, "now provide me your hand."

"Oh, here," Mabel stuck her hand forward, "you're such a big baby."

"Thank you, Mabel Pines," Yuki nodded, and jabbed the needle into her arm, just above the wrist.

"OWWWWW," Mabel moaned loudly, her arm twitching as Yuki took a sample, and then stuck it back inside the scanner. Surprisingly no blood prickled out of the area she had been stabbed, and she shook it gently. "Huh. Like it never even happened."

"Great, so now what?" Dipper asked as Yuki stared at the screen, but removed the need again. "Huh?"

"I require two separate samples," he told him simply, "one way or another, my friend, I must have a few of your blood cells."

"UGH. Fine," Dipper held out his arm, covering his eyes as he looked away. Needles and him weren't exactly friends, but he was more unhappy about being jabbed with an alien device. Yuki nodded, and followed the same procedure. "DAMN! OW!" Dipper clenched his teeth as the need was removed, and he held his wrist. "Freakin' feels like you just tried stabbing my bones!"

"I did," Yuki explained, "I need the computer to analyze how the rouge energy interacts with a functioning human body. Not only that, now I can see how your skeletal membrane works! How exciting!" Yuki told himself as he laid the needle back inside and placed down the scanner, rubbing his hands together.

"Remind me to give him our own vaccines when we get back to earth," Dipper told Mabel angrily.

"I can agree to promises of positive torture," Mabel said in agreement.

"Excellent!" Yuki clapped his hands together loudly, drawing the twins attention, "the computer is registering the translation from living cell to the records!" Yuki pointed to a screen with various Xabvrin words dotted across a long list.

"They're names," Mabel told Dipper, "names of people in Gravity Falls."

The list beeped, and one name was highlighted. Another name was highlighted. Name after name, one after another became highlighted and the list slowly began to move upwards. Roughly ten names fit on the screen, and the words began to move faster and faster.

"What does this mean?" Mabel asked Yuki, who was beaming.

"It means that from your samples, we will be able to return the residents to their homes," Yuki told them.

"YES!" Mabel shot up, and quickly bear hugged Dipper as the two of them laughed. "YES! Yuki, you're amazing!"

"No, my friends, it was you two who made this possible," Yuki told them with a wide smile. "Without your presence, this opportunity would have passed us by. Our salvation of Gravity Falls would not have been possible if your own determination and curiosity had not lead you here."

"Oh, stop it you," Mabel waved a hand at Yuki, who looked confused and sealed his mouth. "Uh... that's just an expression. It's a bashful way of saying 'thanks'," Mabel added, and Yuki nodded and opened his mouth.

"Bashful. I do not quite understand this word," Yuki told them, but shrugged, and turned back to the screens.

"Who's on now?" Dipper asked, "what percentage?"

"Seven percent of the town has been registered for re-integration to the universe," Yuki told them clicking on a few buttons. The names were moving at a faster rate now.

"I just saw Manly Dan's name pop up!" Mabel told Dipper.

"Then... then Wendy's name is there!" Dipper told his sister. She nodded, and then squinted.

"I thought so," Mabel said quietly, "but I could have sworn I only saw four corduroys."

"So you saw Wendy then?" Dipper asked her with an expecting smile.

"Uh, there are five of them. Remember?" Mabel told Dipper, who blinked and his smile began to fade. "Three brothers to Wendy? And her dad?"

"Then... wait," Dipper walked to Yuki, "are you missing data on the people down below?"

"Huh? We can't be missing data- all accounted for quantum vibrations were stored on board. That's the list, to your right," he pointed to the ascending list before Dipper.

"You saw Wendy, right?" Dipper asked Mabel.

Before she could reply, there was a clatter outside. Yuki stalled in his movement as Dipper and Mabel hesitantly turned and stared at the door. They were supposed to be in confinement still. Yuki pushed them aside, hiding them behind the chair slightly as he approached the door. It slid open as he peered out. As he looked outside, he swore in his alien tongue and raced back.

"Time no longer is with us in this endeavor," he told the twins as he flew for his seat.

"What's going on?" Dipper worriedly asked.

"Guards have been sent to you, for they have just climbed the catwalk. They will discover your disappearance within moments," Yuki told them, as he activated a few buttons. There was a solid thud on the door. "Locking it shall give us a few moments."

"What now? There isn't another way out, is there?" Mabel asked.

"No. It is my intention to allow them inside when I can and surrender myself over. You will need to sneak by while I create a distraction-"

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE PRESENCE OF ALIENS ON BOARD."

"That was quick!" Dipper shouted over the blaring sirens.

"They will be coming in a matter of moments," Yuki looked to the completion screen. "We only have but forty two percent to go!"

There was pounding on the door. Shouts in alien voices. Mabel and Yuki understood it perfectly, but Dipper gulped.

"That sounded really angry," he told them. Then there was more pounding. "Wait, can they hear us?" Dipper turned to Yuki, who had put a hand on his visor.

"Yes. Those doors are not made to insolate sound," he told them. A Red and black warning sign appeared on one of the screens. "They're bypassing my lock!"

"Leave this to us," Mabel told him and walked towards the door. "C'mon bro. Test time," she told her brother as she crackled her knuckles.

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE PRESENCE OF ALIENS ON BOARD."

"Wait, are we going to fight Alien guards?" he demanded of his sister.

"Uh..." she thought aloud. The door opened, and two guards, easily a foot taller than them rushed forward. "I'd say so."

Mabel took to aggression on her own guard, leaping into the air for a powerful jump-kick. Her opponent hadn't been ready for the assault, and fell backwards, scrambling to rise back up. Dipper on the other hand gasped, and ducked under an attempted sweeping grasp.

"Hey, man," Dipper tried, holding his arms out in front of him, trying to keep distance between himself and the guard, "hold on! I don't want a fight, just let us be, okay?" The alien shouted something at him, and Dipper looked to Yuki, who snorted.

"His mind is set," Yuki told him as he rolled back to his seat, and began to continue typing.

"Suit yourself," Dipper shrugged, and took his best copied stance from Mabel he could. Time to see if the few times he worked and watched Mabel practice paid off. The alien reached out, grasping for his arms. Fighting his instincts to duck away, Dipper stepped into him, twisting his body. His arms were shields, and he knocked away one of the aggressing arms, and then twisting again to punch the other arm away.

Injured and shocked that his target actually fought back, the guard stumbled backwards, clutching at his stricken arm. Dipper stepped away, holding his hands aside despite smiling.

"Wow! I did it! I mean, you're not, you know, down, but I fought back! Ha!" Dipper told him, "now just stay-"

The guard launched himself at Dipper, shouting furiously at him in Xabvrin.

"A horribly racist comment!" Yuki protested from the chair.

Dipper side-stepped the sudden lunge, and ducked and weaved away form the storm of punches coming at him. He appeared to be less interested in grabbing Dipper now; instead his goal was pummeling him down and dragging him away. Dipper barely avoided three quick wild swings around him before he saw an opportunity. The guard thrust powerfully ahead, and Dipper grabbed his arm. Using the man's momentum against him, he turned on the spot, pushing the man off his feet and slamming him into the wall behind him.

The guard stumbled, but did slowly rise, shaking off the injury. Dipper growled and decided this was no longer the time to play it safe. He was against a figure who had a goal that opposed his own.

He stepped forward and jabbed for the face in one quick motion; not to actually strike the visor in front of the guards face, but to stun him. It worked perfectly. The man flinched, rising an arm up to defend his head. Dipper turned again and kicked down on the legs shin, kicking his leg out from underneath him.

As he stumbled forward and to the side, Dipper grabbed the raised arm, and tried something daring. He twisted himself around and spun in place once more. The arm, snuggly held down by Dipper, lifted the alien guard into the air, and then threw him down onto the metal floor with a loud clang. This time the guard fell limp. Dipper gasped and stepped away, breathing heavily.

"I say," Yuki gasped as the fight between Dipper and the guard ended.

"Dipper," Mabel added. Dipper looked up from staring at the unconscious Xabvri, sweat falling from his face.

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE PRESENCE OF ALIENS ON BOARD."

"No kidding!" Mabel laughed and hugged Dipper, who was still shaken with the entire endeavor. "You kicked butt!"

"I-I did?" he asked, "yeah, I guess I did, sort of."

"No, dude, you just used his weight against him! That's some great stuff!" Mabel told him with a bounce, jumping up into the air.

"What about the one you were dealing with?" Dipper managed to ask as Mabel pushing into his shoulders with each leap.

"Oh, he was quick work. I don't think their species know martial arts at all," she shrugged.

"Do they?" Dipper turned to Yuki, who seemed uncomfortable at the question.

"Xabvri don't appreciate unnecessary bloodshed. No, we do not practice fighting," he told them wearily.

"It's self-defense!" Mabel protested.

"It's harm to other creatures," Yuki replied.

"What percentage are we at?" Dipper demanded from Yuki.

There was a loud rumble. The floors and walls shook, and the sirens ended. Yet all the white lights from the outside faded and became blue.

"Oh no," Yuki turned to one of the screens, and punched in a new set of keys. A screen of another ship, currently docking with the massive science vessel was displayed, sporting what looked like a series of high-tech cannons and forward facing missile launchers. It was barely a tenth of the size of the ship, but the three of them felt a fear looking at the thick armor of the small vessel.

"INTRUDER ALERT. HOSTILE PRIMATIVE LIFEFORMS ONBOARD. USE CAUTION IN THE-"

The Siren cut off, and Yuki gulped as he stared at the vessel.

"What is that?" Mabel gasped, pointing to it.

"A Toldori Destroyer. It's the forward detachment of a Toldori Frigate inbound to 'rescue' our ship," Yuki told the two of them, "unlike us, they do not mind violence. In fact, Toldori and humans are very similar."

"Great. The ship with guns all over it is like us," Dipper said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "that's a great compliment."

"I... was I offending you? Or are you genuine?" Yuki asked as he looked between Mabel and Dipper.

"He was being very, very sarcastic," Mabel told him, and he nodded slowly.

"Well, if they're boarding us, we only have a few minutes. They won't allow your as much privilege as our captain did," Yuki looked to the screen, where the last name was then highlighted. "We're done! Now I just need to adjust the forward ship teleporter to upload the... what?" Yuki was pressing the buttons, but they all squawked angrily back at him.

"What's wrong?" Dipper demanded, as Yuki's eyes grew wider, his movements more sporadic.

"I have been locked from my own accesses!" Yuki shouted fearfully, "I cannot do anything from here!"

"Where can we get this done then?" Mabel asked him, "anywhere?"

"The bridge?" Yuki suggested.

"Then we need to go-"

"No!" Yuki shot a hand out, and reconsidered, "guards will have taken outposts by the bridge. We will need to find another place to... wait... the _Loitis_," Yuki gasped.

"The what?" the twins said.

"The shuttle; that which brought the Animus onboard," Yuki explained, his words rushing faster and faster, "it is within the chambers of this ship we can reprogram its teleporter to beam back the quantum vibrations to create resurgence."

"And then people will come back?" Mabel hastily asked.

"Quite! However we will need to be out of the ship and on the surface of thy planet," he stood up, pressing some buttons on his scanner, which then began to beep and flash, "and I would find it strange to believe that either of you can pilot one of our craft."

"I might!" Mabel said.

"Mabel, you got their language down, but I don't know if that counts for flying space ships," Dipper pointed out. She nodded sadly. "Wait... Uki-Dohth, could... could you do it?"

"E-excuse me?!" he repeated.

"We need someone to get us to the surface, and then beam the people back down, and then get us back to earth as well. That doesn't mean you'd have to stay, but-"

"No... no, you are correct, my friend," Yuki nodded, "I... I am the only one willing to perform this task in this crew. I was the one who proposed staying behind to help these humans. I need to complete this task given to me."

"Aww... you're cool," Mabel punched his shoulder gently. Yuki backed away, fearfully staring at Mabel as he rubbed his shoulder. "That... that punch- it's a familiar thing. You do it to people you trust."

"Oh! Yes, I see," Yuki nodded, and then punched Mabel hard in the face.

"OW!"

"What the heck- Yuki?!" Dipper yelled at the horribly confused alien, who was panicing at the injured Mabel.

"You said it is a sign of trust!" Yuki cried out, clearly afraid of harming Mabel, who was holding her nose, "Mabel, my friend, have I harmed you?"

"No, you just shocked me," she lowered her hand, moving her jaw around to test the flexibility of her nostrils. "I'm okay."

"Thank goodness," the Xabvri sighed. "I apologize, I hadn't meant to harm or offend."

"Tell you what," Mabel told him with a gentle pat on his visor, "when we get back to earth, I can punch you once to be fair. Cool?"

"Uh... cool?" he nodded with uncertainty, and after Dipper and Mabel nodded with him, he furthered his motion, "yes, cool." Behind him, the scanner beeped. "Yes," he turned to it, and removed it from the wire, "your scans, the memories of the Animus, their last active coordinates- it's all here."

"The Animus memory?" Dipper asked.

"Well, Animus have similar memory conduits that humans do," he explained as he stepped away from his consol, beckoning the other two to follow, "but human cell structure make it almost impossible to add or subtract memory with our technologies- it is incompatible without causing damage. But, since your friends and family we will be rescuing do not retain a cell structure at the moment, it is more than possible to add these memories to them."

"That way they won't wake up from three years and wonder why everything has changed!" Dipper snapped his fingers, "awesome!"

"But they won't have aged?" Mabel asked.

"Incorrect. They will be synched to the natural bio-rythmes of the universe linear time-flow, and thus-"

"Please, Dipper," Mabel rolled her eyes, "explain?"

"No, they'll actually be the same. Sounds like it was because when they are re-inserted to the real universe, they will be reset to the appropriate time," Dipper tried, and looked to Yuki, who turned to face them, "is that right?"

"Well, a gross under-exaggeration of events, but yes," he nodded, and started his descent down the ladder behind him.

"Oh good. Sorry Dipper," Mabel put a hand on Dipper as she slid down to follow in the scientists wake, "no meeting your fifteen year old Wendy."

"Oh, ha... ha," Dipper stalled following, and instead thought of the possibilities. "Oh... wow. That... that would have been cool. My age? Nice."

"Don't lag, doofus!" Mabel called as she and Yuki made it to the bottom. On the floor, she held back the Alien, intent on moving right for the hanger, but she turned him towards the animals, "what about them?"

"What? Oh! You are correct!" Yuki snapped his fingers together, and quickly ran towards their exhibits. "All we need to do is beam them into the ship's mainframe, once we're there, we can teleport them back to their homes."

"Why did you take them into the ship anyway?" Dipper asked as he leapt from the last few steps over to them, running over.

"Upon realization that all animals here were depending on their human counterparts to provide means of food, we couldn't let them starve. So we beamed them aboard and had them on lasting sustenance and medical care," Yuki told them.

"Even that guy?" Mabel pointed to the Gobblewonker, who swam by as he had been doing all this time.

"Yes. This creature's diet consists highly of scraps and remains floating into the body of water it inhabited. Without a steady supply of food, there was a good chance it would either destroy its own ecosystem, or die. Neither could be allowed by our directive of eco-system study," Yuki explained, and then scanned the water tank last. "That's it. We need to go. Toldori could be arriving very soon."

"And we don't want to meet them, if I remember correctly," Mabel stated.

"Then let's go," Dipper told them both, grabbing them by the arms and leading them away from the animals, who eagerly watched them as they passed.

"When we get into the _Loitis_," Yuki told them as the door opened, "get thyself to a seat as at your greatest haste. A chance may come where we must outrun the Toldori destroyer."

They barely stepped into the room dedicated to the Animus. A loud outcry called to them as they stepped inside, and the three turned to the right. A new being was walking over. Broad shoulders, armored arms and legs, and bright yellow eyes told them of a new species walking towards them.

"We just met a Toldori!" Mabel cried as the tall figure began to approach, it's gait wide and confident as it strode faster to them. "That's not good, right?" she said as the alien, who's facial structure mimed that of a large lion, with thick striped fur of green and white. It bore its teeth, two long fangs from its upper jaw longer than that of its other teeth. It looked like an evolved, armored saber-tooth tiger.

"Absolutely not!" Yuki told them, and before he could act, the Alien swiped his hand across at them. Dipper and Mabel made quickly to duck and roll away, but Yuki was less fortunate. His visor cracked instantly and he was lifted into the air, thrown against one of the pods.

"Yuki!" the twins shouted. The quickly got up, and made to check on him, some fifteen feet away. The alien wasn't done. As Dipper stood, it swiped for him too. He ducked low, and tried the same tactic on the large bi-pedal car, kicking away his leg. The cat adjusted, stepping back and then kicking at Dipper's head with the unattended foot. The human rolled underneath it, passing Mabel, who roared and jumped for the face.

Her attempted mid-air punch was counter instantly. The cat caught her with one hand, suspending her in mid-air easily by the neck.

"Let go of her!" Dipper roar and delivered a powerful drop kick to the cats side. It howled, and threw Mabel far aside, landing near Yuki, who was grasping at his neck desperately, breathing erratically. Dipper starting to stand.

He was kicked ten feet into the air by the cat. Being thrown like that, Dipper could have sworn his ribs would have broken. Adrenaline pumping through his body, he tucked and rolled with the impact from the huge cat, and ended in a kneel, facing the angered feline animal.

It spoke, the whiskers under its nose bouncing as its lips curled and moved with each gutteral sound it made. Certainly more earth-like, but Dipper had no idea what he had said. "Mabel, you got anything he said?"

"Not a word!" she said, "Yuki's in trouble!"

"Take care of him!" he told his sister as the cat advanced onto him, "I'll keep him busy."

"Right!" Mabel, barely seen behind a pod, ran over to Yuki, who was convulsing and crying out in his alien tongue.

"You better have not hurt our friend!" Dipper warned the cat soldier, who hissed at him.

This was a lost battle already. This cat was easily seven feet tall and probably over two hundred and fifty pounds. Dipper was good at calculating the next move to take, how to counter, and use that to his advantage, but this was an experience, tall, strong soldier. A fair fight was going to have Dipper end up with his sister in a brig with Yuki, or worse. The cat hadn't shown any signs of letting up.

Dipper tripped as he stepped back. There were the wires below him, streaming from one pod to another, to tall conduits above him in the ceiling. The cat chuckled as Dipper grasped one and lifted it, holding it in his hands as he stood back up.

"Back down and go away," Dipper warned the cat firmly, "last chance before I end up tying you to the ground." The cat leered at him, showing his sharp fangs. "Okay dude!" Dipper shouted.

He jumped to the side, where a consol was situated, and leapt right for the cat high in the air. It seemed genuinely surprised with Dipper, and stumbled back just enough for him to leap against its shoulders. It stumbled back further, but didn't trip. Dipper had to be quick, and made the most with his time. He quickly wrangled one leg with the wire and kicked at the stomach of the cat as he stood. This time the huge alien fell, its hard armor hitting the ground with a clang.

Dipper reached for another wire, and as the Alien reached to undo the tangle on its legs, he grasped its opposite arm, and tied that down too. The alien noticed only too quickly as Dipper was faster than it had thought. The young human chuckled as he looked at his handywork. The cat-like alien was snarling at him, hissing in some profound language.

Then, from its hands, retractable claws shot out.

"Oh crap," Dipper gulped.

Both wires were slashed almost instantly, and Dipper leapt away as it yowled after him, literally clawing its way back to its feet and then launching itself after him.

He could only dodge now. Dipper couldn't help to fight something with four inch long thick claws with enough power to lift him into the air. Just getting slashed by those would probably split him open, belly to chest. Dipper ran between the pods, avoiding slash and lunge and leap, all made in a mad dash to catch and possibly kill Dipper.

The cat chuckled behind Dipper, and he turned just in time to see what had been funny.

A powerful blow across his brow.

Dipper stumbled and fell.

The cat had used one of the torn wires as a whip, smashing into his face with enough force to stun him and split skin. slightly bleeding from his eyebrow almost to his ear, Dipper groaned and tried to stand. A large paw stomped down and started crushing Dipper's lungs. He gasped for air, pushing up against the paw as best he could. It wasn't budging, and Dipper glanced around. He needed help now.

He could feel his ribs bending in, giving in to the weight of the paw. To make matters worse, the laughing cat then slowly extended a single, huge claw which placed itself just above his collar bone, right by the neck. The Toldori stared into Dipper with a leer, letting him know of its entire control of the situation.

From far away it seemed, someone bellowed. The cat shot its head around, looking away from Dipper to witness someone charge hard enough into the Toldori to knock it into the air. Dipper gasped as all the pressure, and claw left him.

"Mabel!" Dipper gasped as he pushed himself up, following the wake of the destruction. Somehow, the attacker had not only pummeled the cat through the closest pod, utterly destroying the empty bio-mechanical compartment, but then pinned it to the next one, and lifted it into the air. "Mabel! How are you-" Dipper called as he started to stand. Hands reached around him from behind, and his sister's face appeared next to him. "Mabel!?"

"I'm here," she told him worriedly, "did he hurt you?"

"I... no," Dipper shook his head, adjusting his shirt and vest, wiping off some sludge on his clothing, "wait... then the person over there is... Yuki?"

As Dipper stood, not only did he get a clear look at the person pinning the much larger, struggling cat against a pod, but he heard the strength. Holding the Toldori by the neck he slowly lifted it up, growling.

"The directive of the Toldori Concordant, your own laws," Yuki told him heatedly in English, "prevents you from harming species not yet capable of interplanetary travel!" the Toldori replied in his tongue. Yuki snarled, and pulled the cat closer to his face, almost bending the creature forward, as it was almost two entire feet taller than him, "and you don't hurt my friends!"

Yuki roared and threw the cat aside with a powerful shove. Passing by Mabel and Dipper, the cat slammed into a pod, and fell to the ground. Without much more struggle, the cat lay limp, his eyes unfocused and half open. Dipper and Mabel stared at it for a moment, and then looked back to their friend of similar height.

"My friends are not to be touched," Yuki told the two of them as he stepped closer, "Dipper, are you unharmed?"

"Mostly... Uki-Dohth, how did you do that?" Dipper asked in awe from the Alien. "You just lifted something taller than you like it was nothing!"

"Were you always that strong?" Mabel asked. As the alien approached, he shifted his gaze, keeping his face out of sight. His visor was cracked badly, and he was staring at his gloved hands just past it.

"No. We must hurry now. If he is called by his commander, more shall take his place here, and we may face a worse fate still," Yuki informed them. Dipper and Mabel looked to one another and followed Yuki as he started for the far end of the massive room. They all sprinted now, aware that just beyond the door ahead was their means of escape.

They door slid open in its four sections, and ahead of them was a cluster of guards and the captain of the science vessel, Hyul-Pruq.

"Enough," the captain spoke to Uki-Dohth in his language, and then groaned, and activated the translator, "that is far enough Yuki. My goodness, get a new suit on and stop aiding these humans. They are dangerous!"

"They are dangerous because we are keeping them, and their families from their homes," Uki-Dohth told him in his language, taking a step forward.

"Our first directive immediately prevents us from interfering with those of lesser technological advancements under interstellar travel. These two were not effected by our experiments, and so are not exempt like the rest of the residents from Gravity Falls."

"I am aware of that, captain," Uki-Dohth replied.

"Then why help them?" the captain demanded. "You, of all Xabvri know the consequences of meddling in species younger than our own!"

"Because I have to!" Uki-Dohth shouted in English, and then sighed, and restated in his native tongue, "because I have to. They are not hostile. They are scared." The captain's eyes darted past Uki-Dohth and stared at the twins; a confused and flustered Dipper and Mabel, intently listening into the conversation. Uki-Dohth continued, aware of his presence in the conversation, "they're just children. Like myself. I can't let them be hurt or arrested because they didn't know and wanted to know. If we lost our crew without explanation, wouldn't it be within our rights to search for answers?"

The captain sighed and looked away. "Uki-Dohth, you have a career ahead of you. You're the fastest learning Xabvri on record. If you help them any more, you will be banished from Xabvus by the council."

"Captain," Uki-Dohth chuckled, and his fingers undid the straps around his top peice of the suit. The captain gasped, as did several of the guards. There was no sudden stream of vapor or hissing decompression. Nothing happened as Yuki lifted his top half off, revealing his head. "I already am banished."

His skin was much darker looking than when the twins had met. The leaf-like growths gently placed in his hair were now green, and the twins could see that his hair was a dark shade of chocolate brown. He too had dark tanned skin, and as he turned to smile at them he retained bright pink eyes.

"The visor cracked. I'm already adapted for earth atmosphere," Uki-Dohth told his captain as he dropped the visor. "Let me take these humans home, along with everything else we almost stole away from them forever."

"Uki-"

"Captain, please," Uki-Dohth stepped forward, now within arms reach of his superior. "Before more Toldori come. Let me go. I need to fix this. It was my mistake, let me solve it."

The captain slowly shook his head, yet did nothing to stop or otherwise imply his efforts to stop Uki-Dohth. Instead, he stepped back, and lifted his gloved hands just above his face, making a point.

"May you be with forbearance and fascination," the captain told him with a salute of his people. The other guards followed suit. "Live well, my child."

"Wait, child!?" Mabel and Dipper shouted, startling the captain. He shook off his easy stare, and looked to Uki-Dohth. He smiled and lifted his hands to his eyes, covering them and lowering them.

"I leave you with knowledge and wisdom," Uki-Dohth bowed his head to his father, "be at peace."

The captain and his guards stepped aside, letting Yuki walk past him. Dipper and Mabel looked to the other guardsmen and captain, who was already walking away from the ship, its stairs opening up for the former scientist of the Xabvri people.

"So, all this time, you failed to mention your captain was also your father," Dipper said disapprovingly to Yuki as he and Mabel climbed the steps.

"And what's this about you being banished?" Mabel asked as they made it inside, and the stairs rescinded and the door behind him closed.

"I spoke to you, we Xabvri are adaptable. Most other alien atmospheres change our physiology. Many of Xabvri have died from exposure to other planets, and so we wear our suits to protect us. When the Toldori cracked my visor, it broke the seal. I was breathing in your air. It didn't change my physiology as I had anticipated, but it did, uh, have side effects."

"Like super-strength?" Mabel poked his back, and he nodded.

"I take it that was also a sign of friendship?" he asked as he moved down the main corridor, heading towards the cockpit.

"Something along those lines," Mabel smirked.

"This is Uki-Dohth of the _Fershul_ to captain Hyul-Pruq," Yuki spoke as the doors opened, and lights flickered on, displaying three seats and a variety of controls.

"I read you, doctor," the voice of the captain replied.

"I will be plotting in the craft _Loitis_ to return to the _Fershul_ after arrival and the beaming has begun," Yuki informed him simply, "inform the Toldori of the situation before they destroy it."

"We will," the captain replied, and there was a distinct cut off of the signal.

"Nice and brief. Sounds like a healthy relationship," Mabel said to Dipper quietly.

"Acquire a seat," Yuki told them as he took the front and middle seat, the pilot section. As the four sections wrapped around him, he reached forward and inserted the scanning device into a wire, which beeped loudly. "This is good."

"What is?" Dipper asked as Yuki pressed several more buttons, and hit a large level, and then lowered it.

"The ships shields were not up. I have just uploaded the animals into the main teleporting grid. Once, upon re-entry to the lower atmosphere, the computer will auto-synch and send the animals to their respective home," Yuki said quickly.

"Aww, good," Mabel adjusted herself into her seat comfortably.

"So, we're good for take-off?" Dipper asked as he took his own seat.

"We are," Yuki flipped several switches in front of him. The dark window faded away and a bright, crystal clear screen materialized of the front of the ship. He hit another switch, and entered in a code on the panel next to him. "The bay doors are opening. Let us hope that the Toldori are more interested in the actions within the _Fershul_ than its shuttle."

"Yeah, because if they notice us, what happens?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"They will attempt to stop us," Yuki told her with a heavy sigh, "and they are very aggressive."

"We noticed," Dipper groaned as he massaged his neck. The ship jolted and was moving, the screen shifting slowly to the left. They were now facing the sliding open bay doors, as planet Earth became visible, its shining blue, brown and green spectacle of colors darkened by the night.

"Well, shall we?" Dipper asked, and looked to Mabel.

"Helm, take us out," Mabel giggled as she pointed forward.

"Here we go," Yuki said quietly, and he placed his fingers onto a thruster panel, an slid them forward. They were moving out.

They passed out the shimmering atmosphere shield and into space. Dipper and Mabel started laughing. It was amazing. They were first class passengers riding into space, now staring at the oblivion that was dotted with freckles of sparkling light. Space. That endless horizon to search for. Dipper wouldn't dare blink, even as the view of the night sky began to fade and Earth once again took center stage.

"Oh, baby, you are a big one, aren't you?" Mabel cooed as she saw her planet.

"Which baby is this?" Yuki turned to her, worry present in his eyes.

"Oh, no, no, it's-"

"Another expression, ah, I understand," Yuki nodded and sighed, "as soon as we exit the _Loitis_ onto your baby, we will have one minute to achieve teleportation before the shuttle leaves back for the science ship."

"Onto your baby?!" Mabel roared with laughter, holding onto her seat as the ship began to pick up speed, the screen showing them racing like a bullet towards the planet. Red hot flames started appearing along side the vision, blurring out details of the planet they were descending to. The ship was trembling, rocking slightly, and Dipper and Mabel hollered with excitement. Yuki even broke his concentrated stare and smiled with them. He may have done it a thousand times, but that was a new experience for the two of them.

A beep from one of the lower screens by his panel caught Yuki's attention, and he checked it quickly. "The computer has just teleported the animals to the surface. We will be arriving in a few moments."

"Oh, thank god!" Mabel cried out, "solid ground!"

"Your town has many tunnels underneath it- I, for one, would not entirely consider it solid," Yuki replied as they flew threw large fluffy clouds.

"Another expression!" Mabel exasperatedly called back as the engines on the ship cried loud enough to echo through the metal, announcing their hard work.

"The instant we land, the countdown begins. I will patch through to the ship the orders from the scanner, and then meet you outside," Yuki announced loudly then as they nodded, listening to his plan, "once we are landed, run with haste."

"No problem there," Dipper gripped the edge of his seat.

The ship was now flying towards the town, descending at a parallel to the ground, showing them the horizon rather than the approaching earth. Dipper and Mabel were breathing hard, the excitement still rushing through their bodies as they grasped the safety harness on their seats.

KA-THUNK.

The ship landed, and the safety harnesses were released.

"Count!" Yuki cried, and stood from his seat, feverishly typing in commands as the twins turned and ran. They wouldn't wait, as much as the two of them wanted to. If that ship was going back, they needed to take any absolute chance to getting home fine. The door whipped open and they charged past it, running at their fastest, at equal pace. Far ahead of them, the doors were opening and the stairs were descending.

With Mabel ahead, the flew down the stairs in a single file-line, their feet pounding against the strange retractable metal. Around them was the Gravity Falls town square. The cold night are was surrounding them, the smell of pine and deep wood country blissfully filling their lungs like the cool breeze. The ship buzzed behind them, and they turned around expectantly.

"Only a few more seconds," Dipper quietly reminded himself, "c'mon Yuki."

"Yuki!" Mabel called up the stairs, "C'mon dude!"

There was no reply. Seconds were ticking by, and the two were growing anxious.

"YUKI!" Dipper roared. "You're running out of time!"

"C'mon!" Mabel groaned next to Dipper, looking to the top of the stairs as best she could.

They began to pull back inside. Dipper and Mabel cried out, and almost ran forward, but the ship was lifting upwards as the stairs started retracting. They stared as the final section pulled itself inside, and the doors began to close, the ship rising.

Their friend wouldn't be coming with them after all.

Only then, just before the doors closed, he burst past the minute section between the two doors and soared through the air. He was some fifty feet up, and his legs were dangling as he fell past them.

"Yuki!" Mabel screamed as their alien friend slammed into the earth, rolling forward roughly against the concrete.

"OW!" Yuki screamed as he clutched his leg. "I am injured!"

"How bad is it?" Dipper asked, ignoring the ship as it started flying away, leaving a faint trail of wispy vapor behind.

"I... I do think I have snapped my ankle. I cannot walk with one foot," Yuki told them coughing from the dust blowing in his face, "ack! The planet is colder than I thought it would be!"

"It's night," Mabel reminded him, "it gets cold at night."

"Oh. Yes. Of course it does," Yuki smiled gently. Dipper and Mabel, each under an arm of his, lifted their Alien friend up into the air, and got him onto one foot.

"Okay, so you managed to do it, right?" Dipper turned to their friend. Yuki grinned and looked around expectantly with the twins.

"Uh... nothing is happening," Mabel stated.

Indeed, nothing was happening. Only the faint wind of the night called to them from the tops of trees and roofs, echoing through alleys and under cars. They were still alone.

"I don't understand, "Yuki groaned as he stepped forward, and almost fell, "Gah! Thank you, Dipper," Yuki said as Dipper caught him, "I... the teleportation should be taking its effect."

Dipper and Mabel now stared around, worriedly. Nothing was happening still, and the ship was long gone.

Then someone inside a building coughed.

The three whipped their heads around, and people were fading into existence like shadows, walking through their daily business, and becoming suddenly aware that it was night. Many of them gasped and turned around, heading for their homes or getting their cars re-started and driving to their families. Dipper and Mabel took Yuki aside as a car passed them.

"Watch it, would you!?" Toby Determined shouted at them as he drove by.

"Have a good evening!" Mabel shouted back, waving with a beaming smile.

"Mabel, we did it!" Dipper turned to his sister, trembling and quiet. "We actually did it!"

"WE DID IT!" Mabel screamed into the night, and ran to hug her brother, both them shouted and giggling and laughing at one another as it sunk it.

They brought the people back to their home. All of them.

"You did it!" Mabel turned and grabbed Yuki by the neck, and squeezed his neck in a brutal hug. The poor alien gasped and pointed to his throat. Mabel gasped and relinquished her grip, "sorry! I kind of figured that since you were super-strong, you would be super tough."

"It would appear to be otherwise," Yuki chuckled to them. "You two did it. We did it. We've saved a town of a thousand souls," he Alien smiled, his eyes glistening.

"Aww, Yuki," Mabel stepped closer, "you okay?"

"I'm... I'm just happy," he told her as tears fell down his face, making his dark skin shine darker, "that I was able to bring these beings back into the reality of our universe."

"Hey," Mabel hugged him fully and gently this time, "you gave it everything you had. And it paid off."

"At a cost," Yuki said, looking to Dipper as Mabel let go of him, still checking in with his needs for someone to balance. People were walking by, casually looking at the strange looking person next to the twins. "I can never return to my home."

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a heart-ache filled look to one another. They just couldn't let that slide.

"Hey, come with us," Dipper told him, offering a shoulder for him to lean on, "we don't have a way to get you home, but... well, maybe we have an alternative."

* * *

"I'm sorry, he's a what?!" Grunkle Stan shouted at the twins, pointing to the alien who sat behind them with a bag of ice on his ankle.

When the twins arrived, they had found Grunkle Stan and Wendy arguing over untying Soos from a table, which Grunkle Stan had done the instant he woke up. As it turned out, their memories from their replacements, the Animus, had been correctly inserted into the actual human begins. When the twins arrived, they tackled their grumpy old grand uncle, and quickly explained what they had done. Soos was not only human again, but so was Grunkle Stan.

With that shock out of the way, they slowly untied Soos with the twins help. Only then did Wendy bump into Uki-Dohth, who fell into a chair with a cry, holding his ankle. She instantly spotted the leaves in his hair and his strange eyes, and quickly rounded on Mabel and Dipper, who had just gotten him some ice for his leg.

"An Alien called the Xabvri," Dipper explained, "they're explorers and scientists. They were the ones who replaced people in town with robots, because they had accidentally removed you all from reality?"

"Whoa," Wendy looked to him, "you can do that?"

"A mistake was required for the effect, but what Dipper says is true," Uki-Dohth admitted.

"And he loves motorcycles!" Mabel declared.

"I admit the feeling of air flowing past my cranial extensions are pleasing," he shrugged with a small grin.

"Great. So we got one," Grunkle Stan turned to the twins, "what do we do now, ransom them?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea, mister Pines," Soos told him, "if they are technologically powerful enough to create versions of us that would fool you into thinking I was really here, what makes you think they can't do worse?"

"Hm. Good point. On the other hand, I don't like being tricked," Grunkle Stan squinted at the Alien, who looked away quickly, aware of the anger behind the old man's eyes, "Soos, go get my gun."

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel shouted at him, and Soos stayed put, awkwardly fidgeting with his shirt. "This man helped us get you back! He can never go home because he thought saving your lives was worth more than returning home!"

"Really?" Wendy and Soos asked. Yuki shrugged again, but said nothing.

"Dude," Wendy stepped over and around him, as she had been lingering behind his shoulder, "that's killer."

"I wouldn't hurt a human! I swear," Yuki told her fearfully.

"A positive expression," Mabel mentioned quickly, and Yuki nodded.

"Yeah dude," Soos turned to the Alien, "even if you did kind of ruin it all, you were totally willing to fix it? And save my friends?" Soos grabbed Mabel and Dipper in a hug, "you're totally cool in my book."

"Oh! Ah, thank you... Soos?" Yuki tried saying his name.

"Uh, okay fine, so he's alright, great," Grunkle Stan rubbed the back of his head, quickly, aware of his lack of support for capturing the Alien. "So what is his plan then?"

"Simple," Dipper said first, but Mabel leapt up into the air, breaking Soos's hug.

"HE'S GOING TO STAY HERE WITH US!" she bellowed.

"What?!"

"I am?!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Grunkle Stan stepped forward, "Okay, I'm all for letting him walk away, even though he totally threw us under the bus for trying to spy on us for... you never said," Grunkle Stan growled at the Alien, who again shrunk away," but staying here? Are you kidding me? This place is already going to be crowded enough!"

"But he needs a home," Dipper stated, "and he doesn't have a clue how to live with human custom. We need to give him some time to adjust!"

"Fine! Send him to a homeless shelter!" Grunkle Stan declared.

"But that's only for smelly people who are insane," Mabel told Grunkle Stan angrily, "which you would qualify for!"

"I would resent that if it wasn't such a good retort!" Grunkle Stan lowered himself slightly, glaring at his grand-niece.

"But he's good looking, well mannered, smart, and he's really, really strong!" Mabel told him, "he just hurt himself when he jumped out of the shuttle ship thingy from like a hundred feet up!"

"It was more like, fifty feet," Dipper admitted, "but he rocked it."

"Ah, rocked?" Yuki asked.

"Positive expression," Mabel sang to him and the alien nodded again.

"Why would I want an alien in my home?" Grunkle Stan proposed. Everyone else but Yuki raised their eyebrows at the owner of the Mystery Manor, home to the exotic and strange. "Okay, fine, so he could fit in, but I don't have the money to feed him. I'm not a charity!"

"What about us?" Dipper declared, "we live here over the summer!"

"Huh, right. You two are heading out tomorrow anyway, and-"

"No, we're not."

"Huh?" Everyone but Dipper and Yuki said, who was too busy picking at a T-shirt rack next to him to notice.

Dipper looked around at the attention he had gathered. Mabel was beaming at him, and the other three stared with confusion. "Yeah. We're not going home tomorrow. I know Mabel and I said we were- and you know what, we planned on it. But I'm not going back. Not until the end of the summer, when I have absolutely no choice but to go home to school. Because what Mabel and I did while were up here, just for two weeks-"

"Was so freaking cool you just don't even know," Mabel finished, "yeah. We're sticking around."

"Your parents won't like hearing that," Grunkle Stan reminded them, scratching his chin as he studied them.

"Oh well," Dipper replied with a confident nod. Grunkle Stan burst into laughter.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about!" he growled excitedly as he grabbed them for a laughing hug.

"Aw, sweet!" Soos cheered, "this summer is going to be a billion times better than it was going to be!"

"Sure is, man," Wendy said, leaning on her co-worker as she looked to Dipper, who returned the look, smiling back.

"So, he can stay?" Mabel asked her grand Uncle, looking over to Yuki, who was busying staring at the merchandise around them. The smile on their Grunkle faded and he sighed.

"What is a 'night-watch'?" Yuki inquired as he spotted an unfinished sign post for a job position.

Grunkle Stan opened his mouth to quickly answer, but no sound followed. Clearly, a money-saving light bulb flashed inside his mind, and he stared at the alien.

"So, Yuki-whatever," Grunkle Stan leant down and almost into the face of the unsuspecting alien, who leaned away, "how much do you sleep?"

"Y-your earth cycle is much to fast for my own biological clock," Yuki stumbled to reply hastily, wanting the old, smelly man out of his face, "I only require sleep for fifteen hours once upon a cycle of one hundred and twenty."

"You only sleep for half a day, and then stay up for five!?" Grunkle Stan gasped and shot up, "congratulations- you're hired."

"I'm hired?"

"And your pay will go all towards your rent," Grunkle Stan told him. Mabel jammed her elbow into his gut, and he sighed, "okay, half your pay goes into your rent."

"I... I have a place to reside?" Yuki asked around, and they nodded. "Thank you all. I will work hard and diligently to deserve my keep!"

"Pfft, dude, you just need to slack just enough to get by and sort of work," Wendy offered her advice, to which Stan glared at her.

"Keep talking like that and I'll have you replaced with him," he warned her. The old man yawned and looked around. He was still in suit he wore two and half years ago, and gave it a sniff. "Eugh! Smells like egg-nog. Well, give him the room downstairs," he told the twins as he turned away, "and Soos, get him a name tag later."

"You got it, mister Pines!" Soos saluted and patted the shoulder of Yuki who fearfully watched the taller man walk by him.

"You look sort of afraid," Mabel asked the alien, who nodded.

"I've always studied animals of all intelligences from a distance. I've never once thought that I'd be living among them, as one of them. I'm... nervous about it," he admitted with a quivering sigh.

"Well, you're, what fourteen? Fifteen? Our age?" Dipper pointed out, "you'll be fine if we are."

"Well, technically, I'm am of eighty-eight earth years," Yuki said quietly, making the three of them gasp for air loudly, "but I'm still a youth in my culture."

"You're eighty eight," Dipper repeated, "uh... so your species ages... very slowly."

"You could say that, yes."

"Wow. What a day," Mabel sighed, and she sat down next to the counter as Dipper joined her. Soos walked back into the room and handed Yuki a small red name-tag.

"What do I do with this?" he asked the taller man.

"Ah, you just pin it on your clothes there. It's got a pin, see?" Soos showed him how to do it with his own t-shirt. "Not that hard, right, dude?"

"I have heavy doubts a needle can piece my suit," Yuki added as Soos handed it to him again, "perhaps I need new clothing."

"Oh, perhaps indeed, dawg," Soos nodded wisely.

Mabel and Dipper leaned their heads together. Their eyes were sleepy, and they had just saved the town, and only the people here would ever really know about it. Wendy leaned over the counter, and smiled at Dipper and Mabel.

"You guys look dead," she winked at them. Dipper managed to grin, and then he looked away.

"Hey, Wendy, I'm sorry about-"

"Don't worry, man," Wendy grinned, "turns out there was something weird with me, remember? So don't worry."

"I do trust you," Dipper told her anyway, and her firm grin faltered. Instead, she wore a sad, trying smile as she pulled herself up. Dipper was certain she felt bad too about how she had acted, but he was too tired and happy to hold anything against her. How could he?

"Dude," Mabel said to her brother.

"Yeah?" Dipper turned his head slightly, getting an eye on his sleepy sister.

"We rock," the girl twin told the boy twin. He smiled and they rested heads together, content for the first time in a long time with what they had managed to accomplish.

"Hey!" Grunkle Stan shouted from the outside, gaining the twin's reaction, "who painted a giant wolf on the front wall?"

"Yesh!" Soos pumped the air, "called it!"

* * *

We're here, my good friends. We've finally made it to the end.

The end of season one. The end of the blue battery mystery. The end of my little test.

I'll be honest guys, when I had this idea, and I looked through the Gravity Falls fanfiction area, there wasn't much like this story- a few here or there with half-developed thoughts and ideas that _could_ be good, but nothing solid. Nothing I thought was 'canon' cased stories.

But now I know- now we know this can be awesome.

And you guys made it possible. All of you. Not just me- you.

So, since this is essentially the end of the first installment, I want to take a second and thank a few of you guys. The initial thanks go, in no particular order, to my constant reviewers- to Montydragon, Paramillo, UltimatePhangirlZoe, Storm101, ApocryphaFreeze, Bigmike33321, and Technofushion for their consistent reviews and support. You guys really have helped me force myself to know what it means to write for people as much as you write for yourselves.

And finally, a huge thank you to my newest friend TheEquestrianIdiot2.0. This man has shared with me a passion for story creation and a love for characters that I know is hard to match. He was the unaccredited Beta Reader for this story, and I would suggest if you enjoyed the story as a whole, you thank him for his quiet contribution. He's a kick-ass dude.

Thank you all. You've made this worth every hour and every cramp I got. XD

Now, for the future.

We'll be experiencing a two week long hiatus. Sorry guys! I need the weeks to conjure up the final bits for Season two. HOWEVER, you could be part of the process! Season two is mostly written out, but I'm looking for a few minor story ideas. If you have a monster, or myth/strange event/legend that you want to see happen in season two, let me know. I'll keep track of them! And there will be a season three to top this all off; so even if you don't see your suggestion in season two (which will be twice as big as season one, btw) then you may yet see it in season three.

So fret not. We'll come back to this story again my friends.

I am so thankful for having met all of you. And you GUESTS out there! You damn fools who won't get an account!? WHAT THE HECK! GET ONE! I don't just write these author chapters so I can hear myself! I want to talk to you guys! You dudes and girls who write to me as guests!? I want to answer you personally! Get a free account so we can chat! :D

Anyway, I've spoken enough.

Thank you all again. This was my pleasure to bring to you all the most fun I've ever had writing, but you made it worth every second since I knew I could entertain. You make me so happy knowing you are happy.

I'd say I love you all, but that's Mabel's lines, and she's getting her make-up off and is in her trailer.

Thank you.

-EZB

* * *

Down by the banks of the lake in Gravity Falls, something was tumbling out of the sewage pipes. Roaring with anger and splashing violently, a figure in a cloak emerged, covered head to toe in mud, dirt, cold water, and other unmentionable material.

He fell out of the pipe, just large enough for someone to climb through, and into the water below. It was just waist length, and the man splashed into the cold water angrily, thrashing about.

"GAH!" he roared into the night as he stood up, "FINALLY!" he gasped, and spat out a severed rat tail from his mouth, and pulled back his hood.

Blonde hair, sticking to clumps of dirt and filthy fell past his face, and he growled, his sickly white skin and blue eyes peering up at the night sky.

"D-d-d-damn kids," the young man stammered, reaching inside his jacket, and withdrawing a large waterproof phone.

"You th-th-think that because y-y-you throw me down a w-w-well I'll go running away, huh?" the young man growled, and dialed a number, wading through the water with short bursts, stomping on the muddy earth below him.

He lifted the phone to his ear, and shook off some of the filth. "At least none of this should s-s-s-tain. Or s-smell forever-"

A person on the other side of the line answered, and the Warlock stood up fully, his anger dissipating.

"Master," he told the recipient of the call, clearing his throat as his stuttered suddenly vanished. "It's Graupner," he said after an inquiry on the phone, "I procured a new phone."

There was some sort of lecture, or scolding on the other side.

"No... I didn't kill anyone to get this. I just stole it," The Warlock, Graupner, said. "I completed the spell. There was too much interference to get a clear reading-" he was cut off. A long winded and detailed bit came from the man only labeled as 'master', but the Warlock nodded. "Massive. It was all over the town. Even in big cities I never saw that much concentrated levels of energy before. Not just in the town, but in the forests, under ground, in the water- everywhere," the Warlock told him.

His master replied excitedly. His voice was loud, and deep sounding, and would probably have been soothing it if hadn't been so rushed and enticed by this information. The Warlock was too busy nodding though to realize a slowly emerging bulge in the water behind him, as a massive creature emerged, it's dark eyes staring at him with curiosity.

"I will. I think this is the town we must look into," he added, and his master gave him an order. "If he should appeared, I will let you know. I... thought he was dead thou-" As this master of the Warlock added something, the monstrous beast slowly crept up behind him, until it was directly behind him.

"Very well... I await your next-"

The monster growled.

The warlock lost what little color was in his face and he slowly turned to face the huge Gobblewonker that was staring at him from above. The warlock grip almost faltered as he gulped, and raised the phone back to his ear.

"I have to be going."

Click.

If you were awake and outdoors that clear night by Gravity Falls, you could barely make out the terrified cries of a 'scary and mean' Warlock running for his life from a supposedly mythological lake monster, shouting and screaming like a small, frail, little girl.

* * *

**8-21-8. 23-1-19 23-5-14-4-25 15-14 20-8-1-20 12-9-19-20? 9 4-9-4-14'20 19-5-5 8-5-18.**

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	22. Season Two Prologue

She always left the windows open in her apartment. The bothersome honks and beeps of passing vehicles and shouts of pedestrians didn't bother her, even in her deep meditation. She was a teacher, a student, and a warrior all in one body and mind. Who was she, you might ask? Her name was Arline Hirsh.

The woman in the large corner apartment in bordering lands of San Francisco and Piedmont California was just leaving her shower. A shapely, perfectly tone body was concealed in fluffy towels and a nice, deep orange bathrobe. Her golden hair was wrapped up in a bun above her head, drying off in the constraint of her towel.

Blue eyes peered around the large open and mostly furniture lacking apartment. It was without dividers between the kitchen and living quarters, and no bedroom doors seemed present: a true open concept living space. A large collection of pillows and blankets were tuckered away messily by a corner, while a single yoga mat and pillow rested in the middle of the floor. Those blue eyes spotted them, and the woman sighed.

"I'll be there in a second," she told the pillow as she stepped over to one of the few obstinate pieces of furniture, a very large wardrobe. Her reflexes were incredible as she grabbed away the towels under her robe and switched them out for working out clothing all in the blink of an eye. She had slipped them on somehow without even removing her robe, including a top and comfortable sweatpants. Her soft, but scarred hands closed the doors to the wooden furnishing.

Next to it was a small table, where a plate with blue salts rested, and a pile of matches. Resting underneath the table was a pair of strange leather bracers with a worn metal sheet imprinted into the side, an unusual set of armor. Arline Hirsh's scarred hands lifted up the plate, and carried it over to the middle of the room, where she rested herself down with the matches and salts. Sitting on her meditative pillow, she looked to her scars in the dim light pouring in from the afternoon light.

"So many fun times," she murmured to herself, her eyes reflecting in the many obvious burn marks along her hands. Whatever through that had passed through her mind dissipated and she adopted a more serious look. "Time to practice."

Her hands took a scoop of salt in one, and a single match in the other. She held the match between her fingers, and then placed it before her face. Her eyes closed, and she focused on something, deep in her mind.

The match lit on its own.

Smiling without looking out with her eyes, she lifted the other hand above the burning match and poured the salts through the fire. The blue minerals sizzled and grew in color, steaming as they fell back onto the plat on the floor, where their bright color spread to the other salts slowly, providing a gentle blue glow.

Arline Hirsh never opened her eyes as she lowered the match and stuck it, safe end first, into the tip of the pile. The flame itself warped and the color changed. The fire was elongating to become a stream of soft green light, trailing out of the strange match. It was then and only then that she sighed, and let her hands fall to her cross legged knees.

It was finally time to meditate.

She sunk and started falling far away from herself. Perfectly upright in her physical stance, the woman started falling away in darkness that was scattered with bursts of light and patterns beyond comprehension. She was in her world, the world that was safe and comprehensive. A place where she didn't need to think and could simply be safe.

She felt the tell-tale signs of her meditation coming- the room was less and less there to here, growing further away in the trance she was putting herself into. She was catching less and less of the noise outside, and felling more and more at ease.

She was afloat now, entirely suspended on nothing. Her natural energies, her peaceful thoughts elevated her on the sea of stars and lights, a cosmos surrounding her like dancing nebulas of rainbow coalitions. It was beautiful, breathtaking, and she did this every single night.

"Arline."

Her eyes dotted open as she gasped.

That was new. She never heard a voice while meditation.

Not just any voice, though.

"Master?" she stood up, in a realm of pure white. She stood from her spot and rose to a single dot in the far distance. Black in color and the size of a grain of sand, the image in the horizon called to her.

"Arline."

"Master!" she took off running. The person calling her was someone from long ago, in her past. Someone special.

Someone she thought had died.

Her feet carried her further than physically they should have. She was whipping across the white realm of between consciousness and sleep, running towards a man in an elaborate attire. As she grew closer, she finally could make out his form.

He wore an expensive thick leather duster jacket that barely covered his chest, black and well constructed with silver rivets and buttons along its edge. Two thick straps connected either side of the jacket wings across the chest, ignoring the possibility of buttons or zippers. A elaborate multi-layer shirt of dark red and black could be seen under the overcoat, and he also wore a pair of dark blue jeans and black boots. What crowned it at was the mask.

It was without a nose, or eyebrows, only showing the lines of the jaw and two open holes for the eyes to peer out. They eye-holes however did not allow anyone to see inside.

This intimidating figure did not dissuade the woman from running over and wrapping her arms around him. She laughed happily, leaping onto him as she crushed his neck, but barely getting a response from him, aside from what sounded like a few chuckles from under the mask.

The let go, and her grin turned into a scowl.

"You!" she shoved him back, and he gasped, stumbling away.

"What?!" his voice was unnaturally deeper than it probably should have been, as he was tall, but thinner and toned as opposed to muscular.

"You were ALIVE!?" she slapped his chest, and he relented.

"I- ow! Stop it!" the master shouted as she began to bat him with her hands. "Arline! Cut it out!"

"Over ten years, you, you jerk!" she scolded him, "I thought you've been dead forever! And now you're not all of a sudden!?" she pointed at the mask and the head bent backwards, still keeping eye contact with the mad woman. "You'd better have a good explanation for not telling me."

"Well, I have two," he brushed his clothing down with gloved hands.

"I'd prefer three," she warned him, and he sighed.

"Arline. I was being tracked by the warlock," he told her. This did little to stun the woman.

"So?"

"So, if he knew I was teaching apprentices," he continued, rolling his hands in mid-air, "clearly he would have come to use you all against me. I couldn't let you be involved in this war." She sighed and rolled her eyes, lifting a single index finger.

"Okay. One. What's two?" she asked dejectedly.

"You needed to grow on your own terms," the master told her, putting hands in the pockets of his interesting duster jacket. She scoffed and spun away, walking from him. "Arline, you know it's true. With the level of my skills, you all needed a chance to learn on your own. I couldn't teach you any more until you rose past the level of master I tasked you all with."

"I... ugh!" she pointed at him angrily again, "you are such a 'mystical choices' kind of jerk, you know that!?" He sighed and nodded. "And you know how much it hurt to hear you had been killed!?" she demanded of him heatedly, getting closer. He nodded again. "Or how much it hurt to see all the students you had fall away without your guidance!?"

"I can't be their teacher forever, Arline," he told her quietly, "just like I can't be yours."

Her eyes glistened and she pouted. "Whatever," she growled as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You're still a jerk."

"A well meaning jerk who probably saved all your lives from a tortured fate," he added onto his description and walked around to her, his tone lightening. She stared at him as he walked around to face her. "Arline," he said simply, looking to her, "I am sorry."

"I... I believe you," she admitted, and let her arms drop down, relaxed. With a sigh she cleared her head. "I can't be mad at your forever."

"People have been," he told her with a wiggle of his finger.

"So then, master," she repeated, looking around, "what's going on? I take it this isn't just a 'Hi! I'm actually alive, not dead' sort of dream you're causing me, is it?" He nodded, and turned away, his jacket flourishing behind him majestically. "That stupid jacket almost hit my face!" she called to him as she followed after dusting her nose.

"Stop complaining," he warned her, his tone slightly more authoritative. "I need to show you things."

"Oh joy. Back to teaching me, huh?" she asked as she caught up with him.

"No."

He turned to face her, the soulless mask gazing into her. Even with its visage entirely blocking out his ability to emote, she stared worriedly at him. She remembered his voice, and what that tone meant. Something bad was happening, or had happened.

"The warlock has an apprentice," he told her, and lifted his left hand. From nothingness, a shimmering portal of blue light started to open slowly. There, a pale blonde man stood, frozen in a moment in time, looking worriedly around from a dark desk with various tomes and books strewn out before him.

"That's the apprentice?" Arline asked.

"His name is Graupner Kinley. He's been studying under the warlock's arms for a few years. Magical prodigy. Has a stutter because of a spell that Gruapner put on him, to warn him about his temper."

"Yikes," Arline snorted as she stared at him, "that's what you get for messing with that nutjob."

"Ironically, he's worse than his master," the master of the paths told her, "he's vicious, uncaring, and dedicated to his cause. He's in this study for power and isn't afraid to use what he knows."

"Great. So we have one suave sucker who's in it for his mysterious goals, and now this guy. Is he that talented?" she asked.

"He's quickly mastered the abilities of telekinesis, and has a few other tricks up his sleeve. I don't need to explain how difficult it is," he turned to his student, "how hard telekinesis is."

She nodded and stared back at the man. "How old is he?"

"Eighteen."

"ONLY?!" she gasped. "Wow."

"Like I said, prodigy. Not only a prodigy at magic, a prodigy at disturbing small towns in the pacific northwest," the master wove his hands in front of the portal, and the image shook and shivered until new colors bled into sight, showing a small, quaint town surrounded by forests and cliffs and mountains.

"Where's that?" Arline asked as she watched the image form.

"It's the town of Gravity Falls," the man told her with another wave, showing more images of the town, most of them from the long past, "it's a special little town."

"What makes it so special? The mountains have a lot of silver or something?" she asked with a small smile. The man turned to look at her. "Uh... what?"

"Nothing. The town itself is perfectly normal. Backwater, quiet, and insignificant. A perfect place to retire, honestly," the man turned to the image, "but... what hides in the forest is what makes the lands surrounding it so interesting."

"Uh... okay?" Arline shrugged. A long time ago, she would have pressed for more information from her master, but his cryptic and unclear words were almost always well chosen, and he did not like elaborating what he hadn't said.

"I want you to go there," he told her suddenly, "and counter Graupner's efforts."

"What?!" she spluttered, "Master, I've just settled down and gotten set up! I got an apartment, food, even a job-"

"Yes, I know," he told her, turning to face her fully, "you've been... teaching."

"Ah," she trembled and looked away, "well, you see, I wanted to-"

"Arline," his voice was quiet, but absolutely firm. She had done something bad, and he caught her at it. "I told you all that these are dangerous things to learn. What if someone you taught learned how to control fire and burned themselves?"

"I know!" she then reached over to him, putting an arm atop his shoulder, "I thought of that too! I'm only teaching the kids martial application- you know, how to fight and stuff. Nothing involving the pursuit of the source."

"Oh?" he asked, just as quiet. She gulped. That was not the sound of the master she wanted to hear. He wove his hand again, and a new person appeared. She was young, with brown hair and bright brown eyes. Arline groaned and put a hand to her face. "I take it she just stumbled upon the ability to look into the source all on her own, did she?"

"She... remind me of myself," Arline admitted, apologetically looking to her master, puppy-dog eyes naturally battering away the emotionless glare from the mask. The man behind the shining silver mask sighed and looked back to the image.

"She's learning fast," he said, "two weeks ago, she contacted fire itself."

"What!?" Arline gasped, a beaming smile on her face. "That's amazin- I mean," she corrected herself as her master glared at her again, "ohhh bad, bad Arline. Sorry."

"It's a miracle she didn't kill herself, or anyone around her."

"But why did she contact fire?" Arline inquired.

"She needed help. Guardians of the woods apparently were being... obstinate with her," the master turned away, and wove his hand again. A new portal opened, showing a scene in slowed down time.

Several large golems were being tossed back as a massive burning bird swooped down before them blocking them from a large wooden building and the five people before it, one of which included Mabel Pines.

"Mabel," Arline walked over to the image. She spotted the burns on her hands. "Oh no. Mabel."

"It's complicated. How did a phoenix respond to a girl with her inexperience? Well, it didn't," the master told Arline, "she called to fire, and fire... well, without that phoenix, that girl may never have had the chance to use her hands again."

"I... I know," Arline nodded solemnly, looking to her own hands. The master stared at her for a moment, and then back to the picture.

"Her brother also shows promise."

"Her... brother?" Arline asked, looking up from her hands. "I never trained him."

"No. But you trained the girl well enough where he is quickly picking up on the tricks of The Paths just from her," the master approached his student with graceful strides, looking between the two pictures. As he walked next to her, he wove his hands to make another portal, this time showing a brown haired boy.

"So, that's Dipper," Arline stated as she looked over the teenager, "Mabel, the girl, she's told me about him. Smart kid."

"I don't need to remind you the accomplishment it is for a girl to reach out for an elementals help within a few years training," the master told her," but what I do need to tell you is that now they will be in danger."

"What?!" Arline gasped. "How? Why?!"

"The warlock knows well enough of the Paths. He will be able to detect their growth. Without proper masking and training, they will be exposed to encounter the apprentice Gruaper again, and it may cost them their lives," the master warned Arline, who was biting on her still slightly wet hair, "take that out of your mouth," he swiped the bangs out of her mouth, "if you want to keep them safe, I suggest you go to Gravity Falls yourself and protect them."

"Won't that bring more attention to the town?" Arline suggested, "wouldn't we want to take them away."

"No," he shook his head, and with a snap of his fingers, the portals began to expand and grown until they were the expansive and unending forests of Oregon. The white room of infinity had been replaced.

"Why not? We could defuse the situation," Arline explained.

"Because the twins were not the sought after target," he explained, walking forwards, towards a very thick set of vines and vegetation, pushing them forward, revealing a grove hidden in the woods, where four boulders lay, "but they did reveal something much, much more important."

"What is that?" Arline pointed, as a ripple of light shone around the grove, exposing countless jewels around the main four boulders.

"A relic of the past," the master said and closed the curtain of vines, facing her again. "Should the enemy find that, I fear he will be able to use something else in the town to perform his spell he has been working on for a hundred years."

"You told me about that experiment thing he was working on, right?" she asked.

"Yes, I have," he put a hand on her shoulder, "watch the twins. Watch the town. I will deal with the other forces of the warlock."

"Distract him?" she asked of him as he walked past her, starting to fade into the trees. "Well, good luck master," she added with a warm smile.

"Remember," he turned around once to her, "these two show promise. Instruct them and watch over them as best your can." He lifted his hands and snapped his fingers.

Arline gasped and opened her eyes.

She was back in the apartment. The fire had faded, and the ashes smoked a gentle trail of smoke into the air. Arline Hirsh turned towards a single simple clock on the wall. Only a few minutes had passed. She was sweating, and she felt herself slowly fall back. Thoughts buzzed through her head angrily as she tried organizing them.

"He was alive all this time," she growled.

There would be time to scold him later. Now that he was alive in her world, she could slap him across that stupid mask. He was right though: Mabel and her brother would need her help if Graupner was at Gravity Falls.

She stood up and ran towards a large duffle bag next to the wardrobe, and began to shove things into it.

"Wait," she stood away after throwing in several outfits, "do I even know where Gravity Falls is!?"

* * *

"Dang," a brown haired teenager grumbled as his accomplice, a figure of similar appearance in age, but had significantly darker skin and what appeared to be small leafs protruding from his hair, lifted a black chess knight and removed a white bishop from the board.

"I imply you; use your time wisely- revise your strategy before playing against me again," the dark skinned person told him while shaking his head as the two of them sat in the gift shop, a fierce game of chess going on.

Dipper Pines scowled as he scratched his head through a new hat he had gotten. It was one of two- he had acquired a new shipment of caps from the residence he stayed in during this summer- the Mystery Manor. It was a hodge-podge mess of wooden billboards and planks encouraging guests to stop by and spend their money on the world famous location. Of course, none had gotten to doing that yet- as tourist season had not begun.

As Dipper lowered his hands from the beanie while scanning the board, he found what he thought was an acceptable answer to his solution. Uki-Dohth, the stranded Alien had been challenged by Dipper to a small game of chess. Once the Alien had grasped the rules, it had gone downhill from there. It was all the two had been able to do today, game after game of Dipper vs Uki-Dohth, or Yuki as everyone was prone to calling him.

"I told you, I have this," Dipper growled, gritting his teeth as he hastily moved a rook.

"Dipper, my friend," Yuki warned him, "by moving the rook-"

"I don't want your lectures!" Dipper huffed, leaning into the board, checking every possible outcome, "move!"

"Very well," Yuki swallowed nervously and moved his queen, "check-mate."

"WHAT?!" Dipper gasped, looking around, "no, that- that can't be right!" He pushed himself to a new angle and gasped. He had moved incorrectly.

"I... I am sorry?" Yuki apologized.

Dipper sighed and fell back. "Well, you did it. Five in a row. I can't believe that."

"It comes with being much older than you, my friend," Yuki assured him as be extended a friendly hand of congratulations, "and you mustn't be hard upon yourself. You caluclate very well for one of your age." Dipper eyed the gesture and a smile slowly grew onto his face. He couldn't be mad at a person like Yuki. He pushed himself up and extended his own hand and-

"JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES!"

Dipper and Yuki were both knocked aside as a fifteen year old girl with brown hair barreled past them knocking aside all the pieces and then tripping on their arms. Mabel slammed into the wooden floor, rolling aside and knocking over an entire display piece for post cards. The chess parts, the postcards, and possibly a few screws to the display piece all fell aside, scattering the floor with clutter.

"...owwww..." she groaned once the commotion of falling debris' clatter came to a stop.

"Mabel," Dipper tried talking to her calmly as he lay on the ground, staring at the ceiling, "this is the ninth time. CALM. DOWN."

"I caaaaaaan't," she whined and rolled on the floor closer to her brother, not bothering to stand up, speaking to him on the floor next to him, "he'll be here in a few minutes!"

"I know."

"Not a few hours!"

"I know..."

"Or a day!"

"_I_ _know_..."

"Or-"

"_MABEL_!"

"Hey, dudes," a new voice called as Wendy Corduroy walked into the gift shop, holding her bag of magazines and collected mail from the mailbox at the end of the gravel path, "wanna- whoa... uh, you're all good, right?"

"We are uninjured," Yuki replied as he picked himself up from the floor easily, and began to lift up the fallen pieces to the display, "Mabel is still unable to contain her elation."

"It's almost time, Wendy!" Mabel giggled on the floor, rolling around in circles without hesitation, tangling postcards into her hair.

"I would call it a frenzy," Yuki worriedly added as they all watched Mabel spin in circles, "but I suppose this isn't all that uncommon for Mabel, is it?"

"Actually," Dipper told him as he helped lift things up," it sort of is. This is the most excited I've seen her in a long time."

"Same," Wendy nodded, as she took her sentry's post by the cash register, "Mabel is always on mode: hyper, but not like this," she added as Mabel began to go from standing on her head, to letting herself either fall face first onto the ground, or face upwards. "She's going crazy."

"Who's adding repairs to my gift shop?" Grunkle Stan walked into the room, followed closely by Soos. He was holding something behind his back, and Soos was carrying two bags at his side, presumably the same thing that Stanley held.

"No one. It's just Mabel," Dipper pointed his thumb over his shoulder, "hitting the floor with her face."

"Oh. Sweety, please don't bend the floorboards with your face," Grunkle Stan reminded her firmly as he walked into the center room. "Or the back of your head. Or any part of your body. Don't break my house."

"BLAH," Mabel declared as she lay on the ground, panting heavily," my mind races, but my body is soft and weak. I... must... continue... excite... " and then she tucked her hands and legs together and began to roll around the floor.

"Wow, I gotta say, that's kind of impressive," Soos commended her ability to remain in ball form as she bounced around the floor.

"Okay, okay," Grunkle Stan rounded the remaining stable and sane members of the room to attention, "I know things have been kind of boring around here so far. You know, tourist season was just starting to kick into gear, and the building only finished two days ago, I get it. But this is game time, kids!" Grunkle Stan announced with a proud wave of his free arm.

"Oh. Joy," Wendy rolled her eyes, "work."

"Oh yeah! And if there's work, there's money!" Stan pointed to them, "and plenty of unsuspecting poor tourists waiting to throw their cash at us if we can show them the best case of fake supernatural wonders this side of the planet!"

"I am uncertain towards my acceptance of my position in all of this," Yuki raised a hand as he spoke. "Isn't all of this dishonest?"

"Shush. You don't get to say anything about this until you move out," Grunkle Stan told him quickly. Yuki lowered his hand and his head in rejection. Grunkle Stan continued, "So! We'll need to make sure we get as many signs showing where we are and what we do and, of course, the most important sign of all-" he showed his hand, revealing a worn sign with the simplest words, "no refunds! Now, who wants to go out and put up all three hundred and fifty one signs around the woods until every other tree points to this building?"

"One, two, three," Wendy started, and then put a finger to her nose, "NOT IT."

"Not it," Dipper put a finger to his nose instantly as well.

"Not it!" Mabel mumbled from her ball as she scooted across the floor.

"Not it!" Soos declared, following the pattern. They all slowly turned to Yuki, who eyed them all with a curious stare.

"Ah... shall I say 'not it' as well? Or do I not belong to this secretive club?" he asked around.

"Congratulations," Stan walked up to him, and dropped the sign around his neck, "you'll need these as well," he took the bags from Soos and landed them into Yuki's open arms, who gasped at the sheer number of wooden plaques inside the bags, "and then you'll need the hammer and nails in the golf cart." Stan stared at the alien, who stared back in shock. "Well? Get going," Grunkle Stan ordered as he turned around, "and you all let me know if we get any lost tourists. We need to start scamming these shlucks before time rings out!"

"Sure thing, Stanley," Wendy nodded and put her legs up on the counter. Yuki looked to all of them, and sighed sadly before lifting the bags up and starting to walk out.

"Aw, I can't leave a bro hanging like that," Soos piped up, and followed Yuki, who had turned around and stared with the hopes he would receive help. "C'mon dude, I can show you how to operate the golf cart!"

"Ugh," Yuki shuddered as they left together, "combustion engines cause me fright." As the two left the room, Wendy looked to Dipper, who shrugged.

"I don't feel particularly obliged to help Yuki when he can cream me five games of chess in a row," Dipper explained as Wendy stared at him. As he bent to pick up the chess board, Mabel rolled over it, flattening it back over the floor. "MABEL! STOP IT, WOULD YOU!?"

"Never!" she roared from her fetal-position ball of death.

"Mabel, tell me you've tried something other than just standing around all day?" Wendy asked her as Mabel ran headlong into the counter where Wendy was positioned.

"Ow. Uh... not really," Mabel admitted, "I just can't get it out of my head. You know?"

"Hm..." Wendy looked around the room, her green eyes scanning the contents of the gift shop, and then they widened upon spotting something. "I know what you need Mabel," she said with confidence as she pushed herself over the counter and landed before Dipper, walking past the boy of now equal height.

"Wendy?" Dipper asked as she strode towards the radio. His face grew red- she bent down and started fiddling with the knobs and buttons, tuning for the right station, giving Dipper a chance to examine a particular part of her body.

"Dipper," Mabel hissed quietly and kicked his leg after she noticed him staring for longer than a second.

"Ow! What?" he replied angrily, rubbing his leg as he blushed, "whaaat? I... what?"

Music started to flow. Wendy groaned, and tuned the station. Again and again she didn't find the station adequate. Music blared loudly, uncertain in origin but proud and resolute in its conviction. "Yes!" she shouted, and punched a hand into the air. Electric guitar was playing, and then it was joined by saxophone. It was almost fan-fair like, if it wasn't for the clear bass and drums, pronouncing this piece- alternative.

"Is... is this the Amazingly Amazing Brass-Stones?" Dipper asked with a few blinks. Wendy decided to reply by singing along with the lyrics.

"Have you ever seen someone so nice and kind, so great you just could die?" she sung with the lead, a laid back but energetic voice," have you ever felt a need so dire? Or the urge to say goodnight?"

"No!" Dipper added, and started to sing.

"Well!" Mabel popped up, finally on her feet again, entirely educated on the lyrics of the song.

"IIIIIIII NEVER COULD GO WITHOUT YOU!" the three roared with the main chorus, a powerful symphony of the entire band and an actual chorus backing them up. "BUT I HAD NIGHTMARES THAT I HAD! AND IT MAKES ME WONDER IF I WOULD! IT MAKES ME WONDER IF I-"

"Never had to let you go!" Mabel sang alone, pointing to Dipper.

"Could I do it to save us both?" Dipper gave it his best, and directed to Wendy, who leapt over the counter, and lifted a broom end to her face, a mock microphone stand.

"I sometimes freak out for us both," Wendy rocked on with her broom, dancing on the counter.

"That's the one dream that I had!" the three of them sang in unison, and each began their own dance. Mabel was cheering as she threw her arms above her head, spinning in circles as she let her hair do most of the movement for her. Wendy was doing an amazing job of rocking out with her broom-guitar on the counter, and Dipper notice.

He was torn between the addictively good feelings of the music and just watching her. She seemed so happy and carefree, her red hair bobbing around her as she elevated her life, in manners both physically and mentally, by going nuts on the counter. He wanted to join her, dance around with her and go crazy, let himself unwind a moment.

He could wait though. He didn't want to risk the counter falling down or anything bad like that.

"Dipper!" Wendy shouted as she leapt down and tossed the broom at him, "give us a sick sax-solo!" He caught it with a moments fumble, yet wasn't a second off with his addition to their fun. He gave her his best air-sax, and the girls cheered animatedly.

Mabel's eyes widened. Somewhere, underneath all of the noise of the loud music, a truck door slammed shut.

"IS... IS HE-"

Mabel turned and sprinted out of the doors. Dipper and Wendy could have sworn Mabel had actually created a whirlwind behind her as she blasted her way out of the gift shop, and the followed, not bothering to turn down the music.

"Mabel!" a middle aged man called to her from a large truck with, pulled up to the Mystery Manor. He wore jeans overalls and a plaid button up, giving the cornsilk haired man a touch of farmer to him. "I have someone who wants to see you," he called as she slid to a stop, nearly splintering the wood beneath her heels. He opened the doors, and a particular noise drifted out: oinks.

"WADDLES!"

Mabels outcry were followed by a loud squeal. Brown hair teenager and pink-skinned pig with a black circle over his eye ran towards one another once the much bigger pig left the car. Their reunion was a grand collision in the air, as Mabel caught the pig and landed in a roll around the ground, kissing and nuzzling the soft-skinned animal as it licked her continuously.

"Sorry for taking so long to get up here," the man told her as he clapped her shoulder and then rubbed the pigs belly as they continued to embrace, "working the petting zoo got a little busy when school was let out. Seven different field trips!" he declared.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mabel let go of Waddles and clamped her arms around the midriff of the of the farmer, "thank you so much Mister Marshall!"

"No problem, Mabel," the man stood up and away from her, but not before rubbing the ears of Waddles one last time, "you be good, mister troublemaker, got it?"

"Well," Dipper sighed from the side as he and Wendy watched the blissful reunion with a girl and her pig, "at least now she'll have waddles to be excited with, right?" he suggested.

"Dancing wasn't a bad idea though," Wendy pointed out, and Dipper laughed.

"Well, I need to head out," Mr. Marshall stated aloud, "drive back will take the rest of the gas tank. Take care you two!" he pointed to Mabel and the pig. "Good morning," he nodded to Wendy and Dipper. They waved back as the man climbed into his truck, and started to back away. Just as the car fully spun around, Grunkle Stan stepped out, rubbing his ears.

"Yeesh. What's with the insane-o music?" he asked of the two. "And who was that?"

"That was the guy who Mabel had to trust Waddles to when we went back home," Dipper told Stan.

"Oh. Huh. Neat. What was he doing here?" he asked the two of them. Wendy and Dipper simultaneously pointed to their right, and Stan's gaze followed the both of them. His old eyes widened and he gasped. "What. No... no... it's even bigger than it was before!"

"He grew up!" Mabel declared, spotting Grunkle Stan's disbelieving stares, "Like me and Dipper!" Waddles squealed delightfully, and Mabel cooed. "Aww, that's right! You remember Grunkle Stan, don't you?" she asked the pig, rubbing his big, fat cheeks.

"... And no one felt like telling me the PIG was coming back to my home!?" Grunkle Stan rounded on Dipper and Wendy, who both side-stepped away.

"Wasn't our problem, man," Wendy shrugged.

"What she said. Besides, he was fine last time," Dipper pointed out," now that he's bigger, maybe he'll be your guard dog."

"He'll be the lazy guard dog that eats all the food I store away!" Grunkle Stan bellowed angrily. "Or my magazines! Or my... ANYTHING!"

"Awwww, that sounds adorable!" Mabel laughed as she scratched her loving soul-animal behind the ears.

Grunkle Stan's cry for help echoed around the forest, passing by Yuki and Soos, who was busy trying to teach the alien the concept of 'hammer and nails'. Poorly.

* * *

We're back everybody, along with the pig! :D Season two is under way!

So, what are your predictions guys? Anything in particular you guys expect, or want, to see happen? I'm all ears for the ideas. OH, speaking of which, remember to check out my other Gravity Falls story being written now- Strongholds and Serpents, based off Episode 8, of the same name. If you really, really liked all the fun possibilities of the gang with powers of fantasy characters, you should check it out.

Well guys, this is going to be a long season, with 20 episodes instead of 10, so expect the long haul. Basically, sometime around October this year is when season two ends and Season three picks up. Yup. Oh yeah. You just got yourself invested into a two year long series of events. Good luck.

So, quickly enough, sorry for the possible confusion the first half of the prologue may have caused you guys. There needed to be a little exposition and foreshadowing for the coming weeks ahead of us, else you all would be like 'whaaa' cus I know I'd be like 'whaaa'.

Anyhoo, I've talked enough. Next week, we begin with season two, episode one! Simply titled: 'Totally Real Paranormal Ghost Shows'. Gags, funs, scares, and a whole mess at the Mystery Manor on it's opening day! Be sure to tune in next Sunday! You know we'll be here!

No random death today! :p

-EZB

* * *

**Dslhv xfgv, xfwwob, zmw olevh gl vzg zmbgsrmt lm gsv uolli? Hllh!**


	23. Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show: P1

"WELCOME TO THE GRAND OPENING OF THE GRAVITY FALLS MYSTERY MANOR!"

Stan Pines roaring voice echoed into the woods, atop a small pedestal before his wooden shack located in the woods of Gravity Falls Oregon. The Old man, easily in his sixties with thick grey hair and a constant five o-clock shadow was beaming his best smile to a crowd of approximately nine people. Of them, five were his workers or family. The other fiver were a lost family if tourists intended on traveling to California.

That had been it, for Grunkle Stan. He had waited until someone, anyone, came around to the Mystery Manor for his explosive ceremony. Mabel was kind enough to support his powerful greeting by tossing confetti into the air around him, and then join back into the crowd. The parents were entirely entranced by the happenings of the this location, but the kids, two younger boys and a girl, crossed their arms and glared at Stanley Pines. They had a trip to Disney Land being delayed for this.

"Now, I know exactly what it is you're wondering-" Stan stepped down from the pedestal and approached the family, "Ah! Mister Mystery! This grand exhibit of the strange and unusual clearly could be a fortune to take a tour on! How could we hope to get a pass for such an amazing location?"

"Told you he was good at this," Wendy nudged Uki-Dohth, who was clinging to a hat that Dipper and Mabel bought for him, in attempts to hide his leaf-like sproutings on his head. He nodded wearily and continued to watch Grunkle Stan.

"Well, have no fear! This is the grand opening of the Mystery Manor! The tour is entirely free!" Grunkle Stan told them tremendously.

"What!?" Dipper, Mabel, and Wendy all gasped from the other side of the crowd.

"What a steal!" Soos applauded with vigor.

"Oh, and I'm not done!" Grunkle Stan adjusted his tie and Fez, "if you decide to stay the night in one of our cozy rooms, you'll have access to FREE WATER! AMAZING!" Grunkle Stan declared.

"Wow! Honey!" the husband of the family shook his spouse's shoulder gently, "free water!"

"So, how about it, folks? Take a tour with Mister Mystery and his world famous Mystery Shack?" Grunkle Stan asked them, wiggling his eyebrows. The parents nodded enthusiastically, and the kids groaned and dropped their shoulders. "Wonderful! Please follow my two employees," Stan walked over and pushed out Wendy and Soos, "into the gift shop while I prepare the tour! Gotta shake of the rust, after all, haha!"

"Grunkle Stan, are you feeling sick?" Dipper demanded of his grand uncle as the family followed the two employees inside. "Free passes? You never give anything for free!"

"And free water too!" Mabel nodded, "did you contract the generous bug or something?"

"It's a tactic I learned while reading 'Snubbing Scrubs Monthly'," Stan informed them, "you open something and announce a bunch of discounts, and then you make up for it when they're so enticed at the end and bump up the prices for junk. Besides, I couldn't figure out how to charge water by the ounce without the feds coming after me. So that one I'll just sort of have to let go. For now," he added, scratching his chin.

"Oh, figures," Dipper rolled his eyes, "give them the 'ol forty dollar T-shirt, huh?"

"These clothing selections must be high in quality," Uki-Dohth strode past the three, nodding to himself, "I recall forty dollars being substantial for clothing for such simple design."

"Ha! The cheapest, donated and re-purposed fabric a man can get his hands on!" Stan told him. Uki-Dohth looked aghast, but said nothing, rubbing his hair through his hat. "So, you two, nothing weird is going on today, right?"

"Not to my knowledge," Dipper shrugged, "unless you have another campaign of S and S for us already?"

"Nope. Work," Grunkle Stan shook his head.

"Then we are clean as goober peas!" Mabel declared.

"Good. Stay on watch-out. Since today is the big opening, we should be getting a whole ton of visitors today. Keep an eye out, you hear?" he told them as he turned and followed a worried alien back inside the gift shop. They watched him go and then turned to one another.

"Dipper! High kick to my five!" Mabel demanded of her brother as she took a long step back, putting some space between the two of them.

"Oh, Mabel, again?" Dipper groaned, feeling his hips, "my legs are still sore and-"

"HIGH KICK TO MY FIVE, SOLDIER!" Mabel demanded, bouncing in place as she adopted a fighters stance. Dipper sighed and readied himself, stretching his leg out and readying the muscles for his action.

"Okay," Dipper shook his head and adopted her stance, but was still. Watching her bob up and down worried him.

In the past two weeks since saving the town population form non-existence, Mabel had cracked down heavily on her brother as his teacher. While she was entirely supportive and fun about it all, she expected him to be able to keep up in all things with her. More times than not he had landed on his face in an attempted back flip or a cartwheel. Improvement was happening, but Mabel was convinced he could do better. Dipper was less optimistic, but several days ago he had given up trying to prove her otherwise.

Dipper took two long breaths and made his move. Timing his tick to her highest point of movement, he kicked up and spun himself, throwing out his heel to swing past where her had had just been in the air, several inches up. To his greatest surprise, he felt not impact against the side of her head, which had happened several times prior. Dipper cried out excitedly and stumbled, but kept his footing.

"I- I did it!" he exclaimed, punching his hands into the air.

"Yeah boy!" Mabel cried out as well, miming his actions. The two double-high fived, and then Mabel head-butted Dipper with enthusiasm. That was less planned, and the boy exclaimed and grasped his head as Mabel stumbled around. "Oh. Wow. Your head is just as hard as mine is. Ow."

"Mabel, don't do that again," Dipper groaned as he rubbed his forehead. "I could feel that reverberating through my teeth. Ack!"

"I can't make that promise. What if you become possessed," Mabel told Dipper worriedly, "and the only way to exorcize the demon or spirit is to head-butt you enough times?"

"I give you permission in emergencies to head-butt me," Dipper told her with a smile, still rubbing his temples, "but save them for those times."

"Good deal," she nodded, and faced him fully, "c'mon! Let's do something else too!"

"Alright," Dipper nodded and rolled his arms around, stretching his shoulders.

The next thirty minutes was a blur for the twins. The ran around the building of the Mystery Manor doing all sorts of crazy martial arts stuff, from sprinting and racing to what Mabel called 'floppy-fishing', where you flop on the ground and attempt to get as high into the air as you possibly can. They passed the newest section of the building; a sectioned off series of small motel rooms all connected by a long porch. In similar look to the rest of the building, they looked like they were falling apart, but Dipper and Mabel had both sneaked looks into the room enough to know that the inside was tolerable for the price that Stan demanded.

After nearly an hour of their training, most of which Mabel had more than once admitted to just improvising and coming up with on the top of her head, the two made their way back to the gift shop front porch, and sat by the old, worn, outdoor couch. Only after a few minutes to talking to one another, a certain pot-bellied pig had decided to join them, lying on Mabel's lap and oink-ing sincerely. The same family van sat in the driveway, and the two sat together, engaging in many competitive twin-like activities, from thumb wrestling to a surprisingly well thought out analysis of monsters who, if made to fight one another, would win.

"Well, in the end," Mabel decisively said, "the Gobblewonker clearly wins."

"What?" Dipper shook his head as he scratching Waddle's back absentmindedly, "gnomes can probably join up to create some gnome-battleship and take it down."

"I don't think gnomes can breathe underwater, and the Gobblewonker can! I think," Mabel admitted. Waddles oinked. "Awww, see? He agrees."

"I guess I can't argue with a pig on the matter," Dipper sighed and pink animal looked to him with appreciation. Next to them, the door opened. The family was walking out, wide smiles on their faces and wearing all manners of merchandise belonging to the shack.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Grunkle Stan told them, escorting them to their car, "Remember to tell your friends, extended family, and wealthy ex-friends about the Mystery Manor! We take all walks of cash and coin! Come again!" As the crew got into the car and back away, Stan turned back to the twins, rubbing his hands together. "Haaa, I love a good cluster of suckers."

"You certainly start off early with scamming people," Dipper informed Grunkle Stan, and checked his phone, "it's barely eleven and you've made probably a few hundred dollars off of them."

"I'm a little rusty- was only a hundred or so," Grunkle Stan admitted as he stretched his fingers and then rubbed his jaw, "they were more interested in the stuffed animals than the merchandise. Jeesh. What is the world coming to- merchandise isn't prioritized anymore."

"Alack!" Mabel dramatically placed a hand atop her forehead, and then one for Waddles as well, "the consumerist and materialistic tendencies of American are fading away! What woe befalls us! Waddles! Our fates are sealed!" Mabel told the pig, who then started licking her face worriedly, which only caused her to laugh gleefully. "Oh, you little tease!"

"You're going to feed the pig with your own stuff, right?" Grunkle Stan pointed to Waddles.

"Actually, since Waddles is big enough," Dipper said excitedly, "he can eat out of the woods. I plan on putting a camera on his neck so that we can see if he comes across anything exciting or interesting while he forages."

"Oh look at the time," Grunkle Stan looked to his arm, which did not have a watch on it, "I have to be somewhere else not listening to boring nerd stuff." Mabel laughed as Dipper scowled at his elder.

"Nerd-stuff," she chuckled.

"Now you two just let me know when we get more people to scam," Grunkle Stan told the twins as he walked past them, "and try not to attract any horrible monsters or cursed objects while people are visiting! It's bad enough trying to ignore the fact that technically I have not existed for the past two years, but that you two could bring even more weird into my home is bad enough."

"Leave it to us!" Mabel saluted, and then held Waddles' leg to his forehead for a second salute.

Grunkle Stan had been gone inside for thirty minutes. An hour. Two hours. Three hours passed and the twins had moved inside to the gift shop, hanging with their friends. Soos and Yuki came and went together, repairing parts of the shack while teaching the alien how to repair things without electronic or handheld super-conductors. The few times Soos could hang out, he was animatedly telling the group how excited he was.

"And to top it off, there's going to be like, a bunch of awesome conventions this year!" he continued to talk as they all listened off-handedly. Mabel and Wendy were reading some article of a magazine, and Dipper was flipping through a puzzle book Stan had for sale.

"Conventions; gatherings of like-minded individuals to a common purpose?" Yuki asked as he sat cross-legged on the floor, disassembling a digital clock to understand its function.

"Yeah dawg! There's going to be one for business in like two week," Soos announced.

"Ew," Wendy groaned, sticking out her tongue and looking up from the magazine, "business convention? So a bunch of stuffy, up-right, pretentious rich people gather in one place? Count me out."

"You can call them what you'd like," Soos told her as she looked down to the magazine, "but it's important for the welfare of Gravity Falls as a whole! This could easily put us on the map as a convention town."

"Soos, when did you start getting interested in the town?" Dipper asked, looking up from his magazine.

"Well, ever since you and Mabel sort of saved us from that crazy alien stuff, no offense dawg," Soos held hand to Yuki, who shrugged and continued to fidget, "I've decided that it's much better to be informed with the goings on of the town. From now on, you'll be a much more savvy Soos for this middle-of-nowhere town!"

"Yeah! Go Soos!" Mabel cried, not bothering to look up from the Magazine. Wendy however looked up, a puzzled look about her.

"Well, you know the trick to that, right?" she asked him, "you can't believe all the rumors you hear. Especially about people you know."

"Evidence is important to the successful businessman," Soos told her, adjusting his hat carefully. "That, and I totally want to be ready to impress Xander Maximillion when he arrives."

"Who?" Dipper asked. Wendy answered for Soos, who gasped dramatically.

"That's the lead singer for that band Duskhope," she explained quickly.

"The musical prodigy of our age!" Soos exclaimed, "the greatest rock-artist in the past twenty years! He was one of the youngest lead singers on record, and he's coming to Gravity Falls!"

"What?" Mabel looked up, "another band is stopping by our town!?"

"You bet hambone!"

"Waddles!" Mabel turned to the pig by the floor, who was gnawing on the edges of a straw-basket, "did you hear? People of note are planning to visit!"

"Why do people keep coming to Gravity Falls?" Dipper inquired to the group, "it's not like there's a lot going on here."

"It's easy," Wendy stated, "there isn't anything else to compete for attention, so you're guaranteed to get the attention you pay for. Also, towns like this can't say no to any big-time names, because otherwise they lose publicity chances. The town wins, and so does the big-name people. At least," Wendy noticed the entire group listening in on her, surprised with her knowledge on the subject, "that's, uh, what I've heard."

"An impressive summary," Soos nodded, scratching his chin, "I would have said the same thing."

"Yeah. You know," Wendy pointed to the magazine hopefully, "that sort of thing is talked about sometimes in magazines."

"This _is_ 'Talk Like You Know It' weekly," Mabel nodded in agreement.

"HEY!" The five turned to the deeper end of the house as Grunkle Stan stormed in, looking frustrated and anxious. "You guys haven't been ignoring the front of the building, right?"

"Huh?" The twins replied.

"Visitors! Guests! Schmucks!" Grunkle Stan told them animatedly, waving his arms above his head, "scamming material! Walking wallets? I'm getting through to you guys, right?"

"I am uncertain towards his honesty," Yuki mentioned quietly to Mabel, leaning on the counter.

"Well?" Grunkle Stan walked through them, checking outside.

"Nothing so far," Dipper told him dismissively.

"Nothing?" Grunkle Stan repeated, alarmed.

"Nothing," Wendy echoed.

"Nothing!" Grunkle Stan shouted and marched away from the door. "I don't get it- this was one of the top tourist locations in this country!"

"Aside from the lake, it's the only tourist area in the county," Dipper mumbled to the puzzles.

"How is it that no one is coming to the freaks and weirdoes of the world?" Stan demanded of his crew. Then his eyes hardened, and he nodded to himself. "I didn't put up enough signs."

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel shook her head, "maybe this is just one of those quiet days! It just so happened that no one was coming today because no one is willing to not be lazy."

"Maybe sending those online-advertisements was a good idea," Grunkle Stan stroked his chin, "hey," he turned to Wendy and Mabel, "either of you know how to work online advertising?"

"Uh..." Wendy shrugged, but Mabel's eyes widened with excitement.

"OH! I can't program, but I can easily design my heart out for an advertisement for the Mystery Manor!"

"Great. Programmer. I need a programmer," Stan looked over to Yuki. "You?"

"I need to understand your primitive coding first," The alien admitted, "It... is proving more difficult than I would have previously anticipated. Perhaps within a few weeks?"

"Too slow. Dipper? Soos?"

"Hm. I think I could fix us something on my old laptop," Soos said carefully.

"How long will that take?" Grunkle Stan demanded.

"Eh... later tomorrow?" Soos estimated.

"Why is everything slow in this world!? I need it out as soon as possible!" Grunkle Stan growled, and then looked to Dipper. "And you?"

"I don't do programming," Dipper informed him.

"Why not?!"

"It never has agreed with me," Dipper shrugged.

"How can a combination of zeroes and one form an opinion?" Yuki demanded of Dipper.

"I don't know!" Dipper exasperatedly explained, "I just- I barely passed my computer technology class once we got passed basic programs and into their language!"

"Pfft. Smart sibling, huh?" Mabel mocked Dipper, who's cheeks went red.

"Great!" Grunkle Stan cried out angrily, clapping a hand to head and tossing his eight-ball walking stick aside, "Great! Now I'm without a single customer on my grand opening and I've spent all that money fixing up the place with those stupid rooms!"

"They are quite nice rooms," Yuki implored him.

"Well... if anyone needs me, I'll be in my room, wallowing in my..."

The saddened, deflated elder never finished his lamenting. There was the echoing call of scratching gravel and turning tire. Grunkle Stan walked, almost in a trance, towards the front doors. Coming up the road was a billow of dust. It wasn't just a single vehicle. There were multiple, in a line.

"BATTLE STATIONS!" Grunkle Stan roared to the shop, knocking Wendy off her stool and onto the floor and scaring Waddles to run, squealing into the living room. "SOOS! ASSUME PROPER HANDYMAN POSITON!"

The proclaimed handyman reached behind the snack machine and pulled out his broom. "My ordinances are ready," Soos declared.

"WENDY!" Stan bellowed as the redhead stumbled back onto her feet, "ACT LIKE YOU CARE A LITTLE!"

"We're totally not scamming you," Wendy shrugged to the imaginary customer.

"YUKI!" Stan shouted to the alien, who was pressing himself against a wall to remove himself from the loudness, "PREPARE TO AMAZE THEM AS A TREE-PERSON!"

"YES SIR," Yuki replied.

"TWINS!" Stan finalized, spinning to the twins, who darted next to one another, "BE AMAZED CUSTOMERS!"

"I can't even believe this building has fully constructed walls!" Mabel awed around her as Dipper nodded.

"Can you believe they have running water?" he asked with a constrained grin.

"You all... you all could bring a grown man to tears," Grunkle Stan calmed down, looking around at the group that had responded instantly to his demands. He checked outside once more, and then started adjusting his tie and hat. "Ack!" he ran over, clutching his walking stick and checking himself in the reflection of a window. "Good to rip-off. Here we go, old chum." Grunkle Stan turned and walked over to the door, yet hesitated. Putting his face near to the screen door, he glared outside.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper called to him, "can we stop pretending this place is made of gold yet?"

"Gold doesn't compare to this fine establishment," Mabel told Dipper, pawing at his arm.

"I don't think those are normal family cars, or normal family cameras, or normal family... microphones," Grunkle Stan told the others.

"What? Cameras?" Wendy repeated as she, the twins, the alien and Soos all approached the door, squeezing to get a look through the screen.

Five cars, all vans with the abbreviated letters 'W.P.G.T.P.' pulled up and parked. People were filing out, setting up shoulder operated cameras and boom-poles for microphones to be carried. In the back of the trail of the vans was a familiar van. It was showing signs of wear and tear- it had been fixed as best as it could be since it last visited the Mystery Manor.

"Isn't that the p-p guys?" Mabel pointed as the five young men, still wearing trench coats, stepped out and approached the camera crews, and a particular man wearing a nice suit with a microphone.

"What the heck is going on?" Grunkle Stan declared, and then stepped through the door. Soos followed suit, along with Dipper and Mabel. "Hey! This isn't public property! Go film nature stuff somewhere else!"

"Ah," the man in the nice suit gasped, walking over with a wide smile, just the same kind Grunkle Stan used, "you must be Stanley Pines!"

"Look, fella," Grunkle Stan held a hand to the man, "I don't know who you are or what you want-"

"My name is Justin Oppenheim," the producer shook Grunkle Stan's outstretched hand, "one of the lead producers of channel W.P.G.T.P. and I have a particular group of nice young men who have told me that this location would be the perfect start for our newest television series!"

"What the heck is W.P.G.T.P?" Dipper asked quietly to Soos.

"Watch people go to places," Soos told him, "it's popularity has grown quiet a lot in the past few years. Why go on a fancy vacation when you can sit on your couch and pretend to have the money to travel and become cultured?"

"Oh. Sounds right," Dipper shrugged.

"Oh. I've seen some of your shows," Grunkle Stan permitted him acknowledge his fame. The producer smiled and shrugged. He was a good looking middle-aged man, with short black hair and dark brown eyes. He had a faint trace of a five o-clock shadow, and had perfect, straight teeth.

"You see, Mister Pines," the producer halted himself, and looked to Stan, "may I call you Stan?" Grunkle Stan grunted and shrugged. "Perfect! Stan, there is a call for our channel to begin investing in one of the greatest bubbles of the reality television world!"

"Housewives?" Stan proclaimed, "you're in the wrong home for those."

"No! No," the produced chuckled, "we already covered them! I mean the world of paranormal!"

"The what?" Grunkle Stan looked around to the crews, easily spotting seven cameras.

"Well, this is the world famous Gravity Falls Mystery Manor, is it not?" Justin Oppenheim asked of him. "Known for the center location of all things strange and paranormal?"

"Of course it is!" he declared proudly, "and the best merchandise this side of the U.S.!"

"Excellent! Because we, my crew and the wonderful talents of the North Pacific Paranormal People," he turned briefly and pointed to the young adults as they leaned on their vans, folding their arms and looking very brooding, "plan on having our pilot episode for the newest show here! Titled," he held his hands above, painting the words for the title, "Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show!"

"Totally real paranormal mystery show?" Mabel repeated, frowning and looking to her brother, "wasn't there a show that kind of did that already?"

"Yeah! Mission Fact!" Dipper declared, "with John Fences! It was on the Fictional Science channel."

"Yes, well," the producer before them adjusted himself self-consciously and looked displeased, "that show is a huge scam. Just because he can discover yeti-footprints on the job and get world recognition as an accredited explorer doesn't make him a good paranormal investigator, or not a fraud! But these five-" he pointed behind then, "they're the real deal!"

"Ah. The real deal," Grunkle Stan eyed the producer, "the real deal, huh?"

"The real deal," the producer assured him.

"Look, Mister Oppren-ducer," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes as he prepared to lay out his opinion of the N.P.P.P.," those 'kids' caused me a lot of trouble last time they came through. I'm not interested in-"

"We'll put your establishment on the air, for free, with a full chance to explain your building and any history you would like to talk to the entire country about," Justin the producer told Grunkle Stan.

"... the entire country... on television... free?" Grunkle Stan repeated, his mouth falling open a little wider with each word.

"You understand me fully," the producer grinned. Grunkle Stan leapt into the air, clicked his heels, and blasted his hands behind him, smacking into Mabel and Dipper, knocking them aside, each shouting with an 'Ow!'.

"PLEASE! Come on in! Let's talk about the show!"

The producer nodded and beckoned his crew to follow as Grunkle Stan took the twins and Soos back inside, snickering and positively beaming. If the twins looked hard enough into their grand uncles eyes, they probably could have seen winged dollar bills soaring around his pupils.

"So what is happening, exactly?" Wendy asked as the four stepped back inside.

"We're going to be filmed for the whole world to see!"

"Wait, what?" Wendy demanded of the them.

"Yeah dawg!" Soos declared excitedly, "we're going to be television famous! The famous term 'that guy on television' will soon be us."

Dipper chuckled and nodded with excitement, and made to remind Wendy of how awesome that sounded. Yet he found her face darkened. She was looking to the ground, her eyes shaking and darting in silent discussion.

"You're okay with being filmed, right?" Dipper asked Wendy, who gasped. The darkness in her face faded.

"Pfft, of course I am! What kind of teenager would I be to not want a bit on TV?" Wendy chuckled as she put her hands in her pockets, "I mean, exciting! Right?"

"WADDLES AND I ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT CELEBRITY COUPLE!" Mabel suddenly screeched and ran deeper into the building, racing for her lost pig, probably hiding somewhere under a coffee table.

"Should I presume to hide myself?" Yuki asked Stan, nervously tugging at the rim of his shirt, "I do not think exposing my nature on publicized entertainment is a good way of remaining a secret."

"Are you kidding me!" Grunkle Stan patted the back of the stranded alien, who gasped and rubbed his shoulders, "this is perfect! Not only can they film how awesome this all is, but then people will come from all over to see our real life alien! Maybe I can start charging people to talk to you..."

"Grunkle Stan, I kind of agree with him on this one," Dipper sided with Yuki, who seemed on the verge of sweating, "people can freak out if they knew Aliens were living among us. That could send us some back costumers who'd want to hurt Yuki."

"Or break my shop..." Grunkle Stan nodded a sighed, "okay, okay, for now, just wear that hat."

"I can accept this assignment," Yuki nodded.

"WADDLES!" Mabel's voice rang through the home.

"Does that mean I become the world famous handyman of the world famous Mystery Manor?" Soos asked Stan.

"Heh, I guess so," Grunkle Stan shrugged.

"Yes! Finally I can wear these!" Soos pumped his hand into the air, reached into his pocket, and placed sunglasses with plastic lining streaking across the glass onto his face. "Only famous people can wear these." Soos then turned and walked over the counter, tripping and flipping over the side and landing next to Wendy with a crash.

"You okay, dude?" Wendy dared to ask. Soos tossed his hands onto the counter and tossed aside the broken frames of the cheap glasses.

"Alas, fame is a short, fickle thing," Soos shook his head sadly but stood up fully, clearly uninjured.

Then the crewmember started to file in, lead by Justin Oppenheim. The remainder of the crew who worked daily at the Mystery Manor remained mostly silent as Grunkle Stan showed the crew around the entire, surprisingly sprawling interior of the building. The cinematographer, a tired looking man with a drawing kit on his belt, was constantly checking in with the producer for proper angles to film the show. After a confirmation from the producer was made, he would scribble down a sketch of what the film shot should look like.

"So then," the producer turned to the five men, who had lingered at the back of the crowd, still brooding and looking nervously around, "why don't we have one of you interview these fine people, one at a time?"

"Uh..." Geoffrey, the leader of the N.P.P.P. looked to his friends, who all stared back at him through their sunglasses. He cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Sure. Should I just... ask whatever?"

"Trust me, this will be fine," the producer assured him as cameras, lights, and the microphone were set up in the living room. Justin Oppenheim started pulling over Stan to his lazy boy chair, and plopped him down. "Just sit on this table here," he pointed to the coffee table, where Waddles was busy eyeing the electric cables of the cameras with interest, "and question him about things. We can edit the boring stuff out."

"Boring stuff! Ha!" Grunkle Stan slapped his knee, "this place is nothing but excitement!"

"Oh?" the producer eagerly waved at the cameras, and the green light on the front went red. Justin then pointed to Geoffrey, who shook and then faced Grunkle Stan. The rest of the gang stood out by the door to the gift shop, staring in with interest.

"Tell us, uh, what it's like living in this place?" he asked nervously.

"Ah, well, to be honest, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Well, not unless the world was ready to offer this man his dues! Huh? Am I right?" Grunkle Stan nodded at Geoffrey, who shrugged. "Of course I'm right! Ha! Money is great!"

"Right... tell us about the paranormal activity that goes on around here," Geoffrey asked after a checking glance to Oppenheim.

"Oh, yeah, there's tons of things that go on around here that are weird! Like, you wouldn't believe the shape of the fried egg I cooked this morning!" he pointed to the door that lead to the kitchens, "I looked like that Indian guy in a towel!"

"Gandhi?" Geoffrey tried.

"Yeah! That one!" Grunkle Stan nodded. Geoffrey again looked to the producer, who had lost a little of that exciting light. He waved a hand to him, enticing him to continue questioning.

"Uh... right, that is rather odd. What about ghosts? Or _elementals_?" Geoffrey told Grunkle Stan pointedly, leaning a little closer and staring at the old man, "seen any of those recently."

"Well, as a matter of fact, we've-"

"CUT!"

Grunkle Stan turned to the producer, who was holding the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "Hey, what gives! I was just about to get to the juicy details!" The owner of the Mystery Manor protested.

"It's not your fault," Oppenheim told Stan, "Mister Finners," he looked to Geoffrey, who scowled, "we talked about this. Elementals? Really?"

"They were real!" he turned to the producer, and as it would seem also a director, "we were attacked by four living, animated, giant elementals!"

"It's true!" Dipper piped up from behind the crew, catching the attention of the producer and his staff, "we accidentally got on the bad side of a bunch of earth guardians or something, and they almost destroyed this entire building!"

"See! SEE!" Geoffrey shouted and pointed to Dipper, "we're not crazy and it's not a lie!"

"I never said it was," Justin sighed, and clapped his hips with a clipboard, "what I told you is that elementals won't sell for the pilot!"

"Whaaaaa?" Mabel whined from the doorway.

"Pilots need to sell to the mass media, young lady," Oppenheim stated, "and our studies show that a basic ghost story, something about a possession or haunting, is our best bet for getting the most amount of attention as quickly as we can."

"But that's not what happened," Dipper reminded him.

"My boy, it's television," Oppenheim told him with a chuckle, "If I wanted truth, I'd be working for a credible journal organization, not television. This is entertainment, not news."

"Hahaa!" Grunkle Stan pointed to Justin, "a man after my own heart! I love this guy!" he clapped his hands together and sat up, "so, we need a ghost story huh?"

"Ah, yes, but I think if we could get someone else to sit in for this next part of the interview, we can get back to you later," Oppenheim stated gently, and turned. Soos was closest to him, wearing another pair of strange glasses. "Ah, you sir. What's your name?"

"It's Soos," the handyman told him excitedly.

"Well, Soos, take the seat."

Each of them, with exception to Wendy, who opted out when she said she needed to go to the bathroom and to just skip over her, had a chance to sit down and be filmed. Dipper followed Yuki, who was too busy staring mystically into the camera to answer questions. He gave a very well thought out explanation to paranormal activity, but it seemed to only bore Oppenheim, even though it clearly impressed Geoffrey.

"So, Mabel," Oppenheim told her as he let her take the seat, "I want you to do something for me."

"I want ten percent for each head I bring back," she told him with a grin.

"I... what? Ah... never mind, just," he cleared his head and blinked feverishly, "when I point to something, look at it and be quiet for a few moments."

"Look and shush, got it mister president!" Mabel gave him the thumbs up. The producer scowled and shouted for the cameras to roll.

"So, Mabel," Geoffrey asked her, "has anything odd been going on since we last visited?"

"You kidding me!?" Mabel declared excitedly, "like a whole bazillion things! We ran from were- I mean, uh, ghosts! And then we had to go to hel- I mean to the basement and had to fight more... ghosts!" Mabel continued to correct the actual predicament she and her brother had encountered, and the producer was eating it up. Even though Geoffrey, who seemed increasingly excited with the possibility that something other than ghosts would come up, he was clearly picking up even more had happened since his and his four friends visit more than two weeks ago. "Just ghosts everywhere!" she told him.

Then the producer pointed to a lamp. Mabel instantly whipped her head around and stared at the lamp for a long count of three seconds.

"CUT!" Justin shouted and clapped his hands, "amazing performance, miss Pines!"

"Does that mean I can now be interviewed with Waddles!?" she begged.

"Ah, maybe later," he told her with a forced smile.

"Why did you tell her to look there anyway?" Dipper asked of him, uncertain what the importance of the stare would amount to, "it's just a lamp."

"That's the marvels of television, Dipper. Just a fraction of post-production and few stock audio clips, and BOOM!" he clapped his hands together, "she heard a ghost and turned to look at the direction of the moan."

"Wait, you're going to tell people my manor is haunted!?" Grunkle Stan demanded with a gaping mouth.

"Yes?" Oppenheim stated. "Is that a problem?"

"NOT AT ALL!" Grunkle Stan clapped his hands together, "that just means I can charge more per night! Not only will it be world famous, but haunted!? Hot-diggity damn! People won't even know what to do with us!"

"Isn't all of this rather... dishonest?" Yuki quietly asked of Dipper.

"I... guess so, but it's not like any harm can come of this, right?" he pointed to Yuki, who nodded grimly.

"I am not used to the human custom of lying so consistently," he admitted.

"Okay, can we set up for the ghost shots please?" the cinematographer called loudly, and the cameras started to be shifted around, along with the lights and microphones.

"Oh, are they going to unleash a spirit to haunt the lamp?" Mabel asked to her brother.

"No. They'll probably just get a short shot of it, and then do some post-production edits to make sure that it looks spooky and haunted," he explained expertly, "television has come so far that we don't need to use stupid tricks like fishing wire to-"

No sooner had Dipper uttered the words 'fishing wire' than an assistant walk past him with a short ling of almost invisible wire, and began to wrap it around the base of the lamp, apparently out of the shot. Dipper looked shocked.

"Really... they're going to just... use that..."

"Post-edits are expensive, Dipper," the producer told him with a quick smile, "and besides, if it isn't broke, don't fix it."

"I'd prefer you not break my lamp either," Grunkle Stan pointed to his lamp by the table with worry, "you _can't_ fix what isn't broken."

"Don't worry, mister Pines," Justin Oppenheim assured him, "we'll have some extras on standby to catch it if the lamp wobbles and falls. Otherwise we'll just replace it."

"Oh. Then go crazy," Grunkle Stan gave the word. The producer laughed, and then one of the assistant producers walked up to him, whispering in his ear. Justin groaned and pushed him away.

"I hate to ask you, you wouldn't happen to have spare fishing wire we could use? We need to set up a shot where a book flies across the room," he explained, "and the remaining wire has apparently expired. I didn't even know the stuff could."

"Ah, sure," Grunkle Stan nodded, and slowly turned to the twins, and spoke to them quietly, "look, I know we're out of the stuff. Just go run downtown and grab a few dozen of the things."

"What, rolls of fishing wire?" Dipper asked, "that's like eight miles of the stuff!"

"Well, whatever they don't use I'll fish with!" Grunkle Stan grasped their shoulders and nudged them forward, "now, go get me those fishing lines!" The twins exited the room, followed by Wendy, who was less than pleased looking with the status of the shack.

"Now those jerks are getting television attention, great," she grumbled as the trio entered the gift shop.

"They aren't all that bad," Dipper admitted, "at least Geoffrey seemed sort of-"

"Dipper, remember how they treated us when they visited the first time?" she told him. Dipper's face reddened slightly, as he did indeed remember exactly how they had behaved during their prior visit. "Makes you wonder how they even got a film crew to follow them."

"Maybe it was luck or something," Mabel suggested, "I know that's how Mission Fact started."

"Well... whatever," Wendy sighed, "hey, can you two grab for me like a Portland newspaper while you're in town?"

"Sure!" Mabel quickly promised, but Dipper laughed.

"Did you forget to pick the paper up? Stan doesn't really care about the papers- he's just looking for coupons," he told Wendy. She shrugged.

"I just, you know, forgot to pick one up earlier this week. Want to stay up to date with things," she told them offhand, "but you'll do it, right?"

"Sure," Dipper nodded.

"Thanks. I'll help keep the fort down. Safe driving," she waved to them as she turned away and walked back towards the crowd.

"Okay, you ready?" Dipper turned to his sister, a fist in his palm.

"You know it, bro-bro," she replied and mimed his action.

"One, two, three-"

In the epic game of rock, paper, scissors, Mabel was victorious, and the two had to enter town on the back of the pink motorcycle. While Dipper was more comfortable with Mabel's tendency to be a risky driver, his self-conscious nature could not overlook the fact he was riding along a bright pink bike into town. Riding into town was, however, a distraction for the two of them.

They had saved the entire residency of this sleepy region. Not just a few people, or a family- the entire darn town had been saved by their actions, along with Yuki. They would never hear a thank you, aside from Soos, Wendy, or Stan, but just seeing the people in town was sometimes rewarding enough.

As they parked, Mabel was instantly torn away from Dipper- she spotted Candy and Grenda entering a shop. Dipper had sighed, and let her chase after them to catch up. She had been particularly cautious amidst her friends since that incident with the aliens, and almost every other day saw them. It was luck that when Dipper retrieved the ten wraps of fishing wire that she had finished chatting with them, having made plans for several days from now for a slumber party. Dipper had retrieved his copy for Wendy of the Portland Daily, and was skimming it when Mabel informed him of this.

"At least you're giving me some warning in advance," Dipper admitted to her as he starting tying the bag with the fishing line down to the bike.

"What? I thought you liked hanging out with them!" Mabel told Dipper.

"I don't mind them at all!" Dipper exclaimed, "I like them plenty. But you guys, uh, are rowdy."

"We're teenagers, or have you forgotten Dip-dot-doop?" Mabel grinned and poked his eye.

"Ow."

"Serves you right," Mabel poked her tongue out at him. Dipper soothed his eye and opened his mouth, ready to retort with a clever statement on the status of maturity and adulthood. Then his eyes caught something behind Mabel and across the street. Someone was walking down the street, reading an old book, a particularly dark hoodie over his head as he strutted down the sidewalk.

"Mabel, does that look like who I think it looks like?" Dipper asked her, pointing to the person. She spun around, and instantly gasped.

"That's so totally him," she agreed. She looked back, and without a word to one another, agreed on action. The two left the bike alone and marched across the street, cracking their knuckles and stretching their palms. If that was exactly who they thought it was, a fight could soon break out. He never noticed them, right up until Mabel grasped him by the arm, pulled him into an alley, and slammed him into a wall. "WARLOCK!" she yelled at him as he dropped his book to the ground.

He had yelped and pulled back against he concrete upon the attack, and stared between the twins. It was, indeed, the warlock from three weeks ago. His eyes were considerablly darker, and he seemed to smell much worse than their previous encounter. Faint blond hair lingered in the back of the hoodie, and pale blue eyes stared fearfully at Mabel, and then to Dipper.

"You t-two," he stuttered and gulped.

"You didn't forget us?" Dipper asked him, and then pulled back his sleeve, showing off the now healed scar from their first encounter, "because we sure didn't."

"Looks like we get the jump on you, tough guy," Mabel growled at him, pushing him into the wall, "I think I deserve a few swings at him for cutting you up, bro."

"Get in line," he darkly told his sister as the double ganged the poor helpless man.

"W-w-w-wait!" he begged them, his arms in the air, "wait! P-please! Let me explain mys-s-self." The twins exchanged a look, but Mabel relaxed her grip. She did not let go, but she gave him a chance to breath from the oppressive grip she had.

"You have exactly fifty words to explain yourself," Mabel told him.

"I was m-mad at my master," he told them bluntly, "I want a ch-ch-chance to show I was better than him. S-s-s-so I went rogue and- and did things th-that were bad. I am s-sorry," he finalized, looking between Mabel and Dipper. She was glaring at him with a deadly stare.

"Dipper, that was under fifty, right? I lost count."

"Yeah, he didn't use his max, he's good for now," Dipper said as he stepped closed, also glaring at the warlock, "so what? Your whole speech about hurting people for power? Cutting my arm? Throwing knives at us? Strangling Soos? That was all, what, a game to you?"

The warlock gulped and fearfully looked between the two of them. "I-I-I never did hurt anyone in th-the end. I, sure," Dipper made to punch him in the face, but the Warlock held his hands up," WAIT! W-wait. I d-did hurt you, b-bu-but I never killed anyone like I said. I j-just wanted to scare you."

"Hm," Dipper snorted and lowered his fists, "good to know that cutting my arm open was just 'hurting someone'," he told him, subconsciously feeling the raised markings long his arm, where Wendy's stitching could still be felt.

"I-I was act-ctually just about to leave G-G-Gravity Falls," the Warlock explained, "can I please have m-m-myself lowered?" he asked Mabel, who nodded bitterly and let go. He dropped and shook his neck. "Thank you for b-b-being so understanding."

"Yeah, whatever," Dipper said as Mabel backed away, keeping her eyes on him as she did. The Warlock looked once between the two of them, and slowly lifted his book back up.

"I underst-stand if you do not-t-t believe me," he shrugged, "I probably wouldn't-t either."

"Why should we trust you at all?" Mabel demanded, and Dipper nodded behind her. The Warlock nodded, and then reached calmly inside his hoodie, and pulled out a small necklace with a strange token at the end. Mabel's eyes found themselves on the golden coin. "Wassit?"

"A t-t-talisman," the Warlock explained, "one of a few I c-carry around. They give the hold-d-der luck, depending on th-th-the type of talisman. This one wore out-t on me, but it may work-k on you still," he told them, and then extended his hand. "Here... take it."

Dipper eyed the coin on the chain nervously, and then to the warlock. "What promise is the thing isn't cursed?"

"Wh-why would I wear something th-th-thats cursed?" The Warlock told them. The twins exchanged looks, as it was more than a fair point. Dipper stepped forward and slowly took the coin and chain, and examined it. The two faces were the same, of a profile head with Latin writing on the brain, and the other side an image being produced in front of the person.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dipper pointed to the tails side.

"D-dreams do c-come true," The Warlock told him, and made to leave. "I t-t-take it I'm free to g-go?" The twins gave the coin one last look, and then nodded to him. "Ok-k-kay. Hope to never see y-you two again."

"The feeling is mutual," Dipper grumbled back as the Warlock stumbled out of the alleyway and left them alone. Dipper continued to stare at the apparent talisman. "We should probably just toss it out, right?" he asked Mabel as she too stared at it.

"I don't know," Mabel scratched her hair, "it doesn't seem to give me bad mojo-vibes."

"Test it maybe?" Dipper asked as he looked to his sister. "Take it to that light on the bike and see if it turns green while it's red?"

"Okay... if it doesn't, just toss it into a trash can or something," Mabel told him.

They crossed the street and mounted the bike once more. The warlock had vanished from the street, and they waited for the light to be red. Once it did, Mabel revved the bike and soared forward, unabashed at the coming red light. Call it a miracle, the light flashed green as they came to it, and then back to red when they passed through the intersection. The twins cheered as they sailed back towards the Mystery Manor.

Once they arrived, they brought in the fishing line and quickly handed it off to the crewmen, who began to rig books on a shelf to be tossed off with a few tugs of their hands.

"Thank you two again," the producer told them while rubbing his hands together, "this is a good start to the making of a memorable show. You two and your friends will be aired on nation-wide television! Cool huh?"

"Sure is," Mabel grinned.

"Wendy!" Dipper called to the redhead leaning against the wall, gaining her attention, "catch!" he cried as he tossed her the newspaper. Nabbing it from the air, grinned and winked at him before opening it up and beginning to read into it. Dipper turned away, feeling hot in the face.

"You know," Soos' voice drifted to the twins as he spoke with the producer, while Stan watched them set up the shot. "I'm impressed with how much you all cooperate together. You really believe in all this coming to life, don't you?"

"My friend, Soos," the producer wrapped his arm around his shoulder as best he could, "believing is what makes things come to life. You want to show the world paranormal? Trust me. We'll give them what they want."

"So hypocritically inspiring!" Soos applauded him. The producer blinked, and turned away, uncertain whether to continue smiling happily at Soos or if he had just been insulted. He walked away and approached the camera, so Soos then turned to the twins. "Aw, nice coin there. Trade with a Canadian?"

"Funny story, actually," Dipper told Soos.

"Quiet!" one of the assistant producers cried, and Dipper went silent.

"ACTION!"

The crews continued to shoot the same kinds of shots around the building over and over. Images of Stan walking alone in the hall, and then looking behind him, or Soos dusting a part of a shelf and then looking to a book that was pulled off the shelf from a fishing wire, even Waddles being slowly pulled across a carpet was all shot and re-shot. Late into the day and into the beginnings of night the filming went.

It got to the point where the crew were barely using the N.P.P.P. or the crew of the Mystery Manor any more, and the two groups mutually sat in the gift shop, exchanging stories.

"We were told that people take you seriously when you wear trench coats," Marcus told them anxiously after Wendy finally inquired why they all wore it.

"Look, dudes," she laid it out for them, "you're not in that movie, 'The Equation', or 'The Equation Re-Formulated', so the sunglasses and coats aren't working for you. Just wear clothes-clothes."

"What," Luke asked, pulling away his glasses suddenly, and pocketing them, "just jackets and T-shirts?"

"Hats are nice too," Soos pointed out.

"Might I inquire," Yuki spoke for the first time to the group, who turned to him and eyed him as they had when he entered the room quietly an hour previously, "as to why you are referred to as 'goons'?" The faces of the five men went red as they looked around to their companions. "Is that a derogatory term?"

"Mildly," Geoffrey admitted with a huffy pout.

"Oh give it a break," Wendy called to him, "you guys came here and dissed on Stan. Not our fault you looked like you wanted more attention than a Goth high-schooler."

"Look," Luke growled and looked to the twins and Soos, "that was our first real time we went out and judged anywhere. We... thought it'd make more sense to play it tough than... not."

"Nice one," Dipper told them, "you came off like jerks."

"We're not," Ben, the quieter of the five promised as he adjusted his glasses.

"Wait, you all thought we were jerks?" Geoffrey asked. Wendy quickly nodded, entirely unafraid of her opinion. They looked to Soos, who put his hands in his pocket and adjusted his hats brim to hide his eyes. Dipper sighed and nodded, while Mabel scratched Waddles' back.

"How about you?" Adam turned to Mabel, who shrugged.

"You what are nice? Sweaters. Sweaters are nice," she pointed to her own, "Right Dip?" she asked her brother. He was busying playing with the talisman, still wrapped around his neck.

"Yeah in winter," he turned to tease her. As he turned, the jacket Ben wore beeped and whined loudly in a very electronic fashion, drawing attention to him. He jolted up and started fumbling around in his pockets, and finally found an EMF detector.

"What is it Ben?" Marcus asked as Ben stood up fully, and wove the small device around.

"Something just spiked on the field," Ben told him, tuning a series of dials on the metal and plastic contraption, "got a solid hit!"

"I... I thought this place wasn't actually haunted?" Luke turned to Soos.

"Not to my knowledge," Soos told them with a look around. The lights flickered. "Huh. It's not storming and there isn't any wind or anything. I wonder if mister Pines forgot to pay the electric bill again."

Then the lights went out entirely. The cries of the camera crew echoed from the deep depths of the building. Yuki sighed and stood up. "I can see well enough in darkness. I shall check on the power cable outside."

"Be careful," Soos warned him as he walked out of the doors, "Maybe a bear is eating the pole again."

"Something is really, really weird," Ben muttered loudly enough to catch the attention of the others.

"Talk to me, man," Adam demanded of his friend, "what's going on?"

"The EMF is getting stronger," he told them all aloud, "I think we actually have something going down, right now!"

The thick door slammed shut instantly. The nine in the gift shop shrieked and stood close together. The storm panels alongside the building began to slam shut one after another, rocking the walls of the building. The air grew unnaturally cold. There was a distant, dark chuckle on the air as the nine in the room exhaled puffs of cold, condensation air.

"I think the Mystery Manor just became haunted," Ben gulped.

* * *

Le gasp! Ah! Oh no! Whatever shall our heroes do! For, we cannot know!

Well, at least not yet. As with all these chapters, if you knew exactly how it was going to end in the first half, why would you come back for the second. Am I right? Maybe. I don't know. Maybe you're all just that nice to me. But you all are anyway :3

I cannot begin to explain how hard it is to keep up with the amount of references in this episode. I thought I outdid myself in Season one, episode 5, but GOD there's a ton in here. Whoever guesses correctly the references I've made in this episode gets to ask one question of me, just one question about the story, character, plot, anything, and I will tell you the truth.

That's right.

Spoiler cookies. :D

Now, I'm off to bed. It's late. Sorry for you first time readers- if there are atrocious spelling errors, I'll be back to edit... later.

EZB AWAY! (EZB leaps backwards onto a horse and plunges off a cliff)


	24. Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show: P2

"Oh no, not this again," Wendy cried aloud as she looked around, backing up into the circle with Dipper, Mabel and Soos. "How the heck is there a ghost here?!"

The temperature around them was dropping steadily. What was a mild and warm day was becoming late autumn or early winter inside the Mystery Manor. The only remaining light in the gift shop came from the lighters the five members of the N.P.P.P., who held them up on their side of the circle, and that of Ben, who studied his EMF detector.

"That's a decent question," the man noted and turned to the others, "and I... don't have any idea! It doesn't technically make any sense!"

"What is he talking about?" Soos asked the others, "ghosts are totally real."

"Yeah, they are," Luke answered quickly, "but they haunt the places they were in life! Stanley told us in the tour that he built it ages ago with someone, and no one had ever died here!"

"Ghosts don't technically have to haunt the place they died in," Dipper told them loudly as he pulled out the journal and pocketed the talisman around his neck. The pig squealed loudly and cowered by his and Mabels feet.

"Huh?" the five young men all spun to him at once.

"Yeah, inform these dorks what's up," Mabel told Dipper as he flipped through the pages.

"Just one second... I wish these things were alphabetical," he groaned, "Naga, gnome, tulpa- AH! Here we go," Dipper laid pit the book for the others to read as well, and they all gathered around him, crowding above and aside him, "ghosts are the souls or spirits of the deceased who have returned to the realm of the living for one reason or another," Dipper read aloud, "while hauntings do tend to stay within the area of ones death, that cases of ghostly activity have been recorded outside of an expected region."

"Not only that," Mabel read aloud as well, poking her nose into the journal, "not all ghosts have the same purpose. While many haunt their homes and businesses as a warning to others of their demise, other spirits return for a less specific purpose, and are harder to dispell or calm than standard ghosts. These are poltergeists, or reverants."

"Wait, so we may not be dealing with a standard ghost," Wendy looked around, and then eyed Dipper, "like last time, but something that doesn't 'want' anything from us?"

"If it's a really bad one," Dipper shook his head, "it'll want something from us all right."

"What?" they all asked. Dipper gulped and traced his finger across his neck, and all their faces went pale. Wendy leaned back and looked around.

"Well, is there anything at all we can use to fight these things?" she asked.

Screams of fright echoed from deeper inside the manor, and the group whipped around to face the darkness. Something was happening, further in. Footsteps echoed closer and soon the entire crew was tossing themselves through the door into the gift shop, pushing aside the cluster of young folk to scramble for the door.

"Hey!"

"Watch it!"

"Aw, not the hat!" Soos cried atop the other exclamations the rest of the gang, adjusting his hat as he, like the others, were tossed aside.

The clamor of fear and panic was not successful at opening the door. It remained barred so perfectly that they might as well have been pushing against solid concrete. The group started to collect by the other end of the room, as a faint shimmer of dark blue and violet was collecting in the center of the room.

"Scared little mice," a high-pitched yet dark voice echoed into the room, and a man appeared, floating by the ceiling. He was gaunt, thin and looked like he had developed little to no muscle; skin stretched over bones and a balding head. His eyes were bright violet spots surrounded by black, and he stared gleefully at the now screaming crew members of the Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show. "Let's make that... truthful," he added and pointed a finger at the men.

The younger crew, behind the poltergeist shrieked and cried out as a bolt of energy zapped each of the crew members. They all screamed once more, and then vanished. Instead of men with cameras and equipment, a large pile of squeaking, panicked mice scattered and fled.

"AAHAHAHHA!" the poltergiest roared with laughter and held his sides as he spun around in the air. "PERFECT! I LOVE THIS! BEING ME IS AMAZING!"

"...Run!" Dipper hissed as quietly as he could.

Before the poltergeist could finish his giggling and sense their retreat, the nine plus a pig fled and sprinted deeper into the manor. Dipper and Mabel stuck together with Soos and Wendy, quickly passing by the now empty living room and fled into the kitchen.

"Hide somewhere for now!" Dipper ordered.

The four of them scrambled for spots of safety. Mabel was cat-like enough to instantly flip up and land atop the fridge, and squeezed herself next to a container of cookies. Soos slid under the table and huddled the legs of the chairs with waddles closer as Wendy dodged into a large pantry and Dipper slipped under the sink and they both closed the door.

"What now?" Mabel called from her spot.

"Shh!" Dipper hissed, hearing the ethereal sounds of an approaching ghost. No sooner had Mabel clapped a hand on her mouth than the poltergeist, in a shape of mist, smoke, and a darkly violet light, passed by them, only hovering once on the table, and then continuing by them. Mabel craned her head out from her spot.

"He's gone!"

"We need a plan," Wendy's voice told them from her pantry.

"I know, I'm thinking," Dipper said, and pondered about the possibilities. Before he knew it, his mind was leaking his ideas through his mouth. "I've heard that salt is supposed to be sacred. Maybe that would work?"

"Wait, salt is sacred?" Soos asked, "oh man, I'm totally adding more to my soups for now on."

"It is!" Mabel agreed, "my master uses it for meditation, and it helped me summon the fire spirit that brought that phoenix once."

"What good is salt going to be?" Wendy prompted them all, "do we just, what, throw it into his eyes or something?"

"I don't know," Dipper shrugged, "maybe if we toss it at him he'll disperse?"

"I know silver works against werewolves," Soos added, "maybe that'll work against ghosts too."

"Why?" Mabel asked. Soos shrugged, accidentally bumping the entire table and making a mild commotion. "Whoops."

"Soos!" Dipper gasped, but then held his own mouth shut. That same eerie sound was returning.

"Quiet!" Mabel said as she pulled herself back into her corner.

It returned again, the ball of darkness shining like light from a concentrated ball. The emanating trails of shadow lingered. The sphere seemed to be studying the room a bit more closely. It approached the table, and then hovered quickly to the fridge.

Dipper gritted his teeth, desperate to scream and save his sister. The spirit then opened it, rather than looking up. Mabel's eyes shot wide and she sealed her mouth as tightly as she could. After peering inside, it groaned angrily, and moved back towards the living room and gift shop.

"Too close," Mabel gulped, "and I don't feel like being possessed again."

"Okay, so silver and salt?" Wendy asked of Dipper, her green eyes peering through the pantry slits, and looking to Dipper, who did the same.

"Best bets we have right now," Dipper told her.

"Okay," Soos nodded, "what do we do then?"

Dipper swallowed, and as quietly as he could, stepped out from his hiding spot. Quickly darting to the shelves by the other pantries, he looked through as many of the odd assortment of mismatched silverware as he could. Finally, after clicking them together, he found one that felt softer and shined better. As he scrambled through the cabinet, he found more, but rattled around the remaining iron and steel pieces.

"Shoot!" he gasped, as he heard a gasp from elsewhere in the building. It had heard him.

"Soos, here," Dipper slid to him quietly two silver spoons, and then tossed up to Mabel a fork and a knife. As he turned to Wendy, he saw the light coming through the doorway. He didn't have time to give her a silver utensil. He didn't even have time to get back to cover.

"Who... might you be?" the voice called, and Dipper, facing the darkened window to the night, slowly turned to face the gaseous ball floating above the table. He gulped as he stared into the ball of darkness, barely able to make out the outline of a face, looking to Dipper with interest.

"I'm Dipper," he told him shakily, looking around, holding the remaining fork in his hand.

"Dipper... that's a name, is it?" the ghostly entity asked him, "I thought it was something you do. To Dip."

"It's also my name," Dipper found what little courage he had facing this hostile force and addressed it fully, "what do you want?"

"What I want?"

"Yeah," Dipper asked the confused spirit, "you're a ghost, right?" he nodded to the spirit, who stared at him, "so, uh, you're looking for something. What is it?"

"I'm looking for... people like you," the ghost began to take shape, the same grin on his face as it had been before, "to be... haunted."

Dipper's instinct flicked on quicker than his reflexes could have begged. He threw the silver fork straight at the figure's eye, who gasped and stepped back, holding his face. "What... what was that!?" he demanded of Dipper. Mabel leapt out, and tossed her fork and knife at him, which flew through his torso. "What is this!?" he demanded, looking at himself. Finally, Soos leapt up from under the table, entirely shocking the spirit to take a few levitating steps back, and the handyman also tossed his spoons at the face of the ghost. The passed through his eyes, and the shocked spirit blinked.

He seemed... less than harmed. The pig oinked curiously at the turn of events.

"Uh... is that how you all express your fear?" the spirit pointed to the three of them with uncertainty, who were shaking in their shoes. The silver had done nothing.

Wendy took action- bursting from her hiding spot, she snatched an entire bag of salt, tore the top off, and threw a heaping wall of sand onto the ghost. The four watched as the salt fell through his outline and scattered on the ground, entirely passing through the apparition before them. He blinked and looked to Wendy, a smile growing on his face.

"Ha, salt? SALT?! HA- Ahh, ahh-" he sneezed. Then again he sneezed. Again and again he let out a roar of a cry for the build up in his nose, rocking his head forward.

"Run!" Dipper shouted as the charged past him. The ghost didn't even bother trying to stop them, as he was too busy clutching the table and violently sneezing.

"I HATE SALT!" he cried out as they fled, in between a series of sneezes. "SAAALT! ACHOO!"

The twins feet pattered quickly as they spotted the stairs out before the living room. Looking back once to check on Soos and Wendy as the four of them ran, they dived for the hallway and started the ascent. If they were lucky, the spirit wouldn't be able to hear their loud steps over the loud sneezes it compulsively was billowing out in the kitchen still. A turn to the left, a turn to the right, and the four of them ran into the twins bedroom with Waddles and closed the door quickly and quietly.

"Okay," Soos turned around to them, "what now?"

"Yeah!" Wendy hissed worriedly, "salt and silver didn't do anything!"

"Mundis Moondis joojoo voodoo," Mabel chanted quietly, and the three of them slowly turned and stared at her, "oh, I just was thinking maybe if I said something in Latin maybe I could summon a spell."

"That wasn't even... the second part was all... I..." Dipper shook his head slowly, unable to fathom how incorrect a thing his sister had just said.

"So, going off of what we saw from three years ago, I don't think a spell is the best idea right now," Soos pointed out, and Mabel grunted and nodded firmly.

"Then what do we do? Salt and silver do nothing," Mabel pondered, scratching her chin. Dipper watched her think, doing his own share of ponderous thought. His eyes flickered to Soos, who was scratching his hat, and looking at his fingers, as if somewhere on their lines he could find the solution. Then there was Wendy, turned half way from him, staring out the window.

"Do you guys hear something?" Wendy asked them.

After Mabel quieted her humming, they all stood quietly and listened. Indeed, there was something audible coming from the window. The four of them slowly approached and saw, standing below them, a lone and scared looking teenager Alien.

"Yuki!" Mabel declared as she pried open the window as best she could. It barely budged, still controlled by the powers of the poltergeist. Wendy and Soos reached over her and helped, pushing open the window with the groaning of wood and metal.

"My friends!" Yuki yelled up to them, "what is amiss!?"

"Ha!" Mabel couldn't help herself but laugh, shaking her head at his vocabulary, "Amiss. I love it."

"There's a freakin' ghost in here dude!" Soos shouted down as Dipper came over, poking his head out from the side to get a look at the lone alien down below.

"A spirit?" Yuki gasped, looking to the door that was far to the left of him, "a spiritual manifestation of life-energies from a deceased mortal?"

"That... yes," Wendy nodded. Waddles propped himself up, and squealed down to the alien hopefully.

"It would explain the perplexing mystery to how the door wouldn't open and felt unnaturally cold," he told them worriedly, "can you jump?"

"From here?" Dipper asked, looking around. Mabel nodded confidently, and Wendy shrugged, but Soos nervously analyzed the height and gulped, leaving Dipper uncertain to their next action. He could have Wendy and Mabel go off and search for help, while he and Soos laid low and tried surviving the poltergeist.

Then again, past experience had taught Dipper that there was one thing he should never do when they were all together- split up. Too many times they had to re-group to come up with a solution to solve the problem at hand, and sometimes a solution that would have been easier and quicker to execute had they all been there to begin with. Besides, he thought he could get down, but there was good chance to hurt something.

"HOLY MACKEREL!"

The four of them turned back to the inside of the shack, having just heard the same voice simultaneously.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel gasped. Then she screamed as Waddles took the yell from inside the building to leap onto the edge and jump from the side. "WADDLES, NO!"

"I have him!" Yuki shouted as the pig plummeted towards him. Thanks to a strength far greater than his sized called for, the alien easily captured the falling pig in his arms, and gently dropped him to the ground. "Although, I have no say if I could support your falling like I have his."

"Is he okay?" Mabel demanded as the others stared out after him.

"For now, I would say so," Yuki checked on the pig, who was gnawing on some grass.

"Waddles, you could have been hurt!" Mabel shouted down, and the pig simply looked back up and oinked. "Awww, I can't be mad at the face forever..."

Dipper turned back to Yuki, who was craning his head as high as he could to better see them. "Yuki," Dipper started, "get out of here and go get help! Go find a priest or something and bring them here!"

"A... a priest? A human priest?" Yuki gulped, "but, but I know not of their-"

"Look dude," Wendy called down, "we need your help here. Can you break into the building?"

"I have tried so far and found no success. Even with my strength," he assured them, "I could not break open the door."

"Then... ugh, he could take hours by foot," Dipper growled, scratching his hair through his hat.

"Wait!" Soos declared, and pulled out a pair of keys on a small ring. With a quick jingle, he tossed them out of the window and by Yuki's feet. "Those are the keys to the golf cart. Get into it and drive into town!"

"Oh! I could give him the keys to my bike?" Mabel suggested, and started patting her pockets.

"Uh, I think the golf cart is a better start for Yuki," Dipper placed a hand on hers, holding her to a stop her search short, "Yuki," Dipper called down as he ignored his moping sister, "you do know how to drive one of those, right?"

"Ah," the alien eyed the vehicle to his far right, fear evident in his eyes, "within... minor acceptable parameters."

"So, you _kinda_ know," Mabel asked, holding her hand out and wiggling it side to side, "or you _kinda-kinda_ know?"

"...Kinda-kinda," Yuki admitted with a scared look to them. Yuki then looked to Waddles, who had seated himself down and was staring at those up in the Manor.

"Well, now's a time to learn dude," Wendy shrugged.

The window, still being pushed out by the three of them budged backwards. Wendy and Mabel gasped and tried pushing against it, but it was instant to close. Dipper, in the last few moments of clarity to call out, managed to say ,"just find some help! And don't get hurt!" The window slammed shut and the three next to Dipper stumbled back. Frost was growing along the window's surface and they all gulped.

"C'mon Yuki," Mabel muttered as they gathered around the frosting glass. Before they lost sight of their alien friend, he had picked up the key and started for the lone cart, and was followed by the pink pig. They could only hear the motor start, and watch as a jerk blob representing the cart jerked and stopped as it began its departure.

"He's going to be stuck between two trees in a ditch somewhere in the woods while we all die here," Dipper groaned, realizing they had just sent the least socially experienced member of the Mystery Manor out to fetch help. "We're all going to die."

"No bro," Mabel swatted his head, "positive thinking only here."

"I'm positive that we're all doomed," Dipper told her. She swatted him again. "Ow. Stop it."

"So, do we have any idea what we're supposed to do against this thing?" Wendy asked again, "or are just going to assume we really are dead in the water?"

"Ah, I'd prefer we at least went down trying to figure this out," Soos told her, "you know, the usual way."

"Going down in a blaze of terrified glory," Mabel approved, "sounds great." Dipper snorted as he shook his head. Mabel was a nut, but at least she could get a laugh out of him at these times. Only... something was nagging his brain.

"...So," Dipper started, feeling out his thoughts slowly and carefully, "are we just going to ignore the fact that this shack has never been haunted until today?" he asked around, drawing their attention to him in the dark room. They all exchanged glances, but said nothing. "It's a little weird that, you know, the timing of this all?"

"All of this is weird, dude," Wendy told him.

"No, but really," Dipper sighed and continued, "they camera crew shows up out of the blue, right? They set up cameras, and want to film with those guys from that group. They don't want to hear about what actually happen- they want to film a ghost show."

"A Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show, to be exact," Soos told him.

"Right," Dipper nodded, and then checked with their stares, watching them watch him, "isn't it a little strange that all this happened at the same time?"

"Wait, you don't think that they brought a poltergeist here?" Mabel gasped, a surge of shock behind her eyes. "That would be-"

"Exactly what a producer would do if he thought it could get hot ratings. Remember?" Dipper told them, "what he said? 'Something about a possession or haunting is our best bet for getting the most amount of attention as quickly as we can'."

"Whoa, okay," Wendy shook her head, "you are totally right." Dipper grinned and fought the feeling of hot bubbling in his stomach.

"So... what if he's controlling it?" Dipper suggested, "trying to get the craziest, over-the-top footage of a real ghost and then he'll play it up like this place is always like this?"

"That's television genius for you," Soos shrugged.

"Evil genius," Mabel corrected him, and Soos nodded his head in agreement. "So, bro-bro... what is the plan?" Dipper held his hand to his chin, and looked to them all.

"Well... we're all to big of a group to be wandering together at the same time. The poltergeist didn't really notice us until I was caught outside the hiding spot, so... maybe he can't tell where we are," Dipper guessed, "I mean, if he did, he would have noticed Mabel and Soos right away. So... we need position chart."

"Huh?" Mabel asked. Dipper sighed and translated.

"The sneakiest go first, and then whoever is left follows in their wake. We only move from stealthy spot to stealthy spot, that way," Dipper patted his journal, "if we need to check something, we can do it in a safe location."

"I'll go first," Wendy quickly said. The three looked to her.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Hey, I'm pretty quiet," Wendy shrugged, "when I want to be."

"... not to disagree with you Wendy, but I don't exactly remember you being the quiet type," Dipper scratched the back of his hand worriedly, afraid for insulting her. She then laughed and grinned at him.

"Who snuck up on a twelve year old you confessing your attraction for me?" Wendy reminded him. Dipper blushed and Mabel snickered.

"Whoa, talk about a retort," Soos raised a fist to Wendy, "nice one, dude."

"Thanks man," Wendy fist-bumped and grinned at Dipper, who was red in the face. "C'mon dude. I got this. This sucker won't even see me coming."

"Well... okay," Dipper nodded. "Mabel, you after her?"

"Yessir!" Mabel saluted and shot up straight.

"I'll follow you, and then Soos?" he turned to his friend, who nodded.

"I tend to think that if someone normally needs to sneak, that means they're up to no good. So clearly," Soos told them, "I've never done anything bad in my life. Also I like to eat a lot."

Despite the chuckles from his friends, Soos nodded and they all took positions. The redhead found herself by the door, hand just before the knob. Mabel was behind her, leaning past her to see the edge of the wooden door. Dipper behind her, and Soos behind him, nervously wringing his hat in his hands.

Wendy turned to the others and silently held out her hand. From five fingers she dropped one, then two, then three, four and finally... five. Wendy opened the door and stepped out, quickly, daring to the dark bathroom ahead of her. She checked both directions of the hall, and when nothing seemed to bother her, she waved with a nod for Mabel to follow.

One by one the gang followed in Wendy's first step. This entire procedure came to pass again as they moved towards the edge of the stairs. Wendy again checked for the safe clearing, and when she nodded, they followed. The hard part would be, sadly the stairs.

There wasn't an immediate safe place for them to hide at the bottom of the stairs. One direction lead to the living room, another the hallway which lead to the kitchen and gift shop. There was, to their luck, the long hallway that connected to the rest of the display rooms. Between that hallway and the end of the stairs was the small closet and a coat rack.

Wendy pointed this out silently to Dipper, who nodded. "So... you go down first. If you make noise, get to cover a.s.a.p.. We'll stay behind or draw attention to ourselves if he gets a clue where you are."

Wendy nodded after he whispered to her, and silently as the grave began to descend the stairs. Dipper was actually shocked as he, Mabel, and Soos, all watched Wendy climb down the stairs like a hunter. Dipper let himself think that she actually kind of acted like he thought her Stronghold and Serpents character would have when stalking her prey. She was close to each step, not daring to allow her height to betray her spot.

Half way down the steps, the sound of the approaching poltergeist floated up to them. Wendy never even looked back as she moved silently over and pressed herself against the side of the staircase hand-railing. Keeping her eye on the space above her, the thinly man floated slowly past her, grinning angrily and sniffling. He wiped his nose briefly and looked up the stairs. The three pulled back quickly.

Dipper stared into Mabel's eyes with terror. If they were right in their fears, Wendy was right in the sight of the spectral menace. It would be any second now- the ghost would cackle and laugh menacingly, and a gust of wind would announce Wendy had been turned into a mouse or rat or...

Yet nothing was happening.

Dipper dared peek his head past Mabel. The ghost had just turned away, and was floating away. Wendy was not there. "What?" Dipper gasped, looking around the available area. The poltergeist had totally left them, heading for the kitchens. "Wendy?" he gambled as he whispered down the staircase.

"Here," a hand popped up behind from the handrail, next to the staircase. "I'm good," she assured Dipper, standing up and creeping forward, the boards under her feet at rest. He couldn't believe her performance so far. She was a perfect vanguard.

"Okay," Mabel got the okay from Wendy, who peeked her head around the corner to check on the ghost. Mabel now crept down the stairs, and Dipper couldn't believe it, but she was making more noise than Wendy was. Even the smallest step Mabel made at least heralded at tiny creak of wood as it suffered her minor weight. Mabel- the student of the Paths, who had trained in some amount of stealth, was being beaten at it by the slacking teenager who worked at the Mystery Manor.

"You good?" Dipper asked as Mabel slunk to where Wendy was, as she started walking for the closet. Mabel waved Dipper down, and he gulped. His first step on the stairs confirmed his fears. It creaked much louder than either two of them, loud enough for Mabel to whip around and 'shh' him.

"I'm trying!" he hissed at her as he made another two steps. Loud, but still not as loud as his first, Dipper continued down the steps.

"Dude," Wendy pulled herself to the handrail, just by his hands, "you got to own these. Make them yours."

"O-own them?" Dipper repeated, aware of how close her breath was on his hands.

"Yeah dude. Just make every step entirely yours. Don't rush anything," she calmed him, and Dipper slunk down to the steps, and started creeping in the same fashion she had. It was working! Dipper couldn't help but smile at how much of a difference it made as he continued down the steps, and replaced Mabel, who replaced Wendy, who moved down to the end of the hall.

"Soos," Dipper told him as he checked the corner, "clear to go."

"O-okay dawg," Soos gulped, and took his first step.

The wood practically rattled. Another step, a roar.

"Soos!" Mabel pleaded with him, "c'mon dude, lower yourself!"

"I-I don't think I can! I'd fall over," he told Mabel worriedly as he remained on the top third step. He took another, and it sounded like the wood below him was crackling. "Aw man, this is bad."

"Shh!" Dipper hissed at them.

"I don't think I can do it quietly dudes," Soos told them fearfully.

"Okay... well, you know what you need to do then?" Mabel patted his arm as she reached up, "just go for it."

Soos nodded, and then took her advise in the entirely wrong way. He blazed a trail down the stairs so quickly and so loud it would be lucky if someone in the building didn't hear that noise. Once he landed on the stairs and turned to the others, a familiar cackle floated from the kitchens.

"Hide!" Dipper shouted. Wendy dived from sight, leaving the hallway temporarily, Dipper and Mabel instantly dove for the closet, and ushered Soos to follow, but he stalled, spotting the coming spirit. He shook his head and made for them to close the door. "Soos," Dipper and Mabel managed to say once before they were enveloped into darkness.

Cold crept on them through the door, the eerie, sickly sound of a floating spirit passing by them. The twins exchanged looks as they felt it pass, and then gave themselves a few moments for him to leave the hallway. Mabel was first to reach for the door handle, and as she turned it and pushed the door to look outside, she found the hallway empty. Once the door was fully open, they found what Soos had managed to do for cover- he stepped behind the coat rack and tucked in his stomach.

"This is the least observant ghost ever," Dipper admitted quietly as they stepped out and re-joined. Wendy, down the hallway, popped her head out and waved them over.

"It's all clear-"

A scream from her direction had them hesitate as she whipped around and stared. It hadn't been from the ghost, nor from Stan. Someone else was screaming. She gasped and waved them over as she moved inside the hallway quickly, and looked towards the direction that lead deeper into the tour rooms.

Moving up behind her, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos all poked their heads around the corner, and gasped. In the clutches of the poltergeist, floating just a few inches in the air, was Oppenheim, the producer.

"You like to talk a lot, don't you?" the ghost told the man, suspended in the air, struggling for breath.

"It- It's part of the job description!" the man chuckled, but then felt the tightening around his neck.

"You think you're so funny, don't you?" the ghost leaned in, his dangerously sharp teeth gleaming in the darkness with his supernatural glow.

"Funny? No! No!" Justin Oppenheim swore to him, "I'm just a man who wants to get everyone's story! Like- like yours!"

"Mine?" the ghost loosened his grip, but still kept him in the air, by the collar of his shirt.

"Careful! This is pristine-" the produced ceased his complaining as the ghost snarled like a monster in his face, blowing his hair behind him and making him appear messier and dirtier. "Okay. Okay I get you."

"What do you mean, my story?" the ghost repeated.

"Well, we all have a story, don't we? Like," the produced slowly pointed to himself, "I was a graduate after five years instead of four, I prefer a martini to a beer, sometimes I really enjoy a deep philosophical debate because it gives me inspiration... you know, things people don't know about you," the producer explained. "And... you..?" he pointed slowly with his hands to the ghost, who looked around.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I'm sure there's more to you than just... ah... 'ooohhh'!" Oppenheim declared. The ghost suddenly dropped him, and looked down at him quizzically.

"I... what else is there to being a poltergeist?" the ghost asked plainly, scratching his boney chin.

"Ah! See, now we can delve deeper," the producer excitedly said, scooting himself closer to the ghost. The four hiding watched in awe; the man was actually making progress calming the spirit. "You see, ghosts, as I know it, have something they all want beyond haunting the world around them. A lot of people call it 'unfinished business', but I think it would be cooler if it was called 'unresolved issues'. It has a better ring to it, and drama sells, you know."

"Hmm... very well, what are my unresolved issues?" the ghost asked him quickly. The producer was stumped: his mouth dropped and he struggled for words.

"Ah... ah... well, um, you see... what was your past like?" he asked the ghost calmly, figuring out how to best begin this conversation.

"Well, a few minutes ago, I was checking the hallway, and a few minutes before that I was in here, and a few minutes before that-"

"No, no," the producer laughed and waved his hand in the air, cutting him off, "I mean before you died."

"Before I died?"

"Yes, before you became a ghost- err- poltergeist," Justin elaborated. The ghost stared at him with the greatest look of confusion, as if he had just spoken a language he never heard before. "I mean, all ghosts were just people who have died, after all. What were like as a human?"

"I... I died?" the poltergeist asked, and the producer scoffed. "I was a human!?" the poltergeist demanded angrily, and the producer leaned away, slightly frightened.

"I mean, that is were ghosts supposedly come from," Oppenheim told him.

"Liar!" the ghost floated up, growing in size and his ghostly dark colors flaring orange and red. Justine trembled and yelped.

"Okay, okay, so... you have no memory of what happened before, that's okay," the producer tried calming the spirit, "okay, we can make that part of the series- you trying to discover what you were before!"

"I REMEMBER EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN!" The ghost roared, loudly, and the producer began to float up, terrified and screaming again. "I HAVE NEVER BEEN A HUMAN! YOU'RE LYING TO ME! I... DON'T... LIKE... LIARS!"

With a smoky 'poof', the producer vanished, and a frog dropped the floor, croaked loudly, and hopped away in fear. The four ducked back around their corner, having just witnessed another person go from proper human to small animal with a flash of magic. The sounds of the floating spectral being began to fade, and they again checked the corner and found the space clear.

"Okay... so scratch my first theory," Dipper admitted quietly, "he couldn't even control it when he was trying to mooch up to it."

"So he didn't bring it to the manor?" Wendy asked to Dipper.

"I guess not. He didn't strike me as the type who would endanger someone just for a few good TV shots... maybe endanger their stuff, but not lives," Dipper admitted.

"Then what else can we do?" Soos asked, "Like, do we just trying to suck it up with a vacuum? That's still an option. Or maybe try singing it to sleep?"

"I like singing it to sleep," Mabel agreed. Wendy sighed, and shook her head.

"The undead don't sleep dude," she said and then checked the corner again. Dipper scoffed and patted her shoulder.

"How... how did you know that?" he asked of her. Wendy's body visibly tensed as she stared at him.

"After dealing with those, uh, ghosts at the Dusk 2 Dawn," she told him, "I looked up what undead stuff are supposed to be like. They don't sleep, you know."

"Oh. Nice," Dipper nodded in agreement, "you got to show me that source you found then, because that's what I found in the journal. Undead don't sleep, they just rest, "Dipper elaborated, "so that they can continue to persist later."

"Great, so not to sleep, but to a nap," Soos nodded, "got it."

"We're not going to sing to this thing!" Dipper exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Aww, phooey. We could have done some Francis Malachite from 'Female Monarch'," Mabel groaned, and then leaned her chin on his shoulder, "well, there has to be something else that sort of makes all of this come together. What else could be going on?" she asked.

"Well... isn't it odd that the ghost didn't have any memory?" Dipper asked to them.

"Hey, yeah!" Wendy nodded, "those two at the shop totally knew how they died! It's why they tortured my friends, because they were teenagers, and they blamed teens for their death!"

"You know... I just thought of something," Mabel admitted, and took the journal from Dipper.

"Mabes?" he asked her as she opened it.

"Well, he's been asking a lot of questions," Mabel stated, "silly ones, right? Like how people act when they're scared, and what a ghost wants- you know, stuff people-people should know?" she looked to them all, "and it made me think of Yuki. Yuki is a person, but he doesn't know of anything about human life, so he keeps asking questions... what... what if this isn't a normal ghost?"

"Well, duh, it's a poltergeist," Soos said to her.

"Wait, no," Dipper nodded, and scooted to her, "she's right! Why would a ghost hesitate attacking people and ask if that's how they're supposed to act when scared? If I was a crazy ghost, I would just all nuts on them!"

"So, it's not a ghost?" Soos asked Dipper, "then... what?"

"I... I think I know," Dipper flipped pages backwards from the ghost, and when a strange and well-scribbled in page enticed him, he stopped, "here." The page described a creature that had no true form, and the only image present was that of a being who was multiple things at once, in four sections four separate things.

"A shapeshifter?" Soos asked.

"Not quite," Mabel corrected him, and pointed to the title in the top left corner, "A Tulpa."

"A what?" Wendy and Soos asked.

"Okay, so imagine," Dipper turned to the two of them, "that if you believe in something hard enough or long enough, it, whatever it is, can come true. Tulpas are collected energy that manifest the form of something that is being believed in that doesn't actually exist yet. Like, imagine Soos," Dipper looked as his tall friend, "if you believed that Santa would come through that door, and then he did. That could have been a Tulpa."

"Oh wow, these things sound awesome dude," Soos admitted.

"So what does this have to do with a poltergiest?" Wendy asked as she checked the corner again.

"It has nothing to do with a poltergeist," Dipper admitted, "but that's because we're not dealing with one! We're dealing with a Tulpa who took the form of a poltergeist!"

"So... it's not a ghost, but a creature pretending to be a ghost," Mabel explained to the other two.

"Well, no, it's a real ghost now," Dipper told them, "but if people believe it can do things long enough, it can grow and change."

"Great," Wendy scowled, "a ghost that can grow stronger."

"But that leads to another question," Mabel pointed out, catching Dipper's attention, "how did a whack-a-doodle Tulpa get into the shack? Wouldn't we have noticed?"

Dipper opened his mouth to speak, but closed it. He was also uncertain how to answer it. It was a close second theory, but unless they had something to prove their reasoning, it could just as well be an angry, lost poltergeist who lost all his memory when he died. His fingers felt along the edges of his shirt, and he looked to his sister, begging her eyes for answers. Who had they seen recently that could have given them something that... could have carried... a Tulpa...

Dipper gasped, and reached inside his pocket. The coin came out, still attached to necklace, and Mabel's mouth dropped open. "It was us all along," Dipper told Wendy and Soos," we brought it here."

"What?" Wendy shook her head, "what's... what is that coin?" she asked warily, staring at it with fearful eyes. Before Dipper could reply, there was movement across the hallway. The four tucked themselves close against the wall as Wendy looked around the corner again. She gasped and waved her hand out. "Over here!" she called to someone approaching.

As the three behind Wendy exchanged looks, Grunkle Stan and the members of the N.P.P.P. all scrambled to join them against the wall.

"Guys!" Dipper called to them, the line of hiding humans grown now to ten.

"Long time no see, kid," Marcus told Dipper with a relieved smile, "we thought after Justine got captured that it was just us six."

"I told you they'd be fine," Grunkle Stan scolded the young men, "they're more resilient to this sort of stuff than I am. And I'm crazy tough."

"Good to know you guys can actually survive a proper haunting," Wendy allowed the group a warm smile and nod, and they returned it to her.

"Back at you, Corduroy," Luke told her. He then looked to the twins, "so, we're kind of out of ideas. The ghost isn't following any of the signs of standard haunting."

"No memories," Ben began listing out their noted observations, "no desire for reconciliation, abstract human ideals, and no self-identity!"

"It's like he just sort of popped out from nothingness!" Geoffrey cried out in desperation to the others. Dipper and Mabel grinned, exchanging looks with one another. This look was not unnoticed by the leader of the young men, who sighed and nodded. "You already know what's really going on, don't you?"

Dipper and Mabel took turns elaborating what they had come to understand. With a few tips from Ben, who apparently had done the most amount of research into the topic of Tulpas, they had come to convince the rest of the group that they were being haunted by one of these creatures. Ben also had the honor of scanning the coin with his EMF detector.

"It's certainly giving off weird emissions, but it isn't standard to any record I've seen of paranormal energy," he admitted, "I think the Tulpa might have been formed when this came into the same proximity as the producer."

"He was acting the entire ride up here," Adam explained, "like we were going to arrive and get instant ghost footage. Maybe it's what caused it to take the form."

"Hah, and here I thought the age-old adage of 'careful what you wish fore' was just for losers being told to nut up and shut up," Stan told them with a chuckle. They all glared at him. "What? It is stupid. Always wish for more!"

"So, what, do we just... break the coin?" Soos suggested.

"Oh, but that could kill it!" Mabel told him and the others, "we don't want to kill it just because it's doing what it think it has to!"

"Sure," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "go ahead, go out there and try sympathizing with it. When you get turned into a rabbit, don't come crying to me."

"Awwww, I'd make an adorable rabbit," Mabel squeaked and cupped her hands to her cheeks.

"Oi," Grunkle Stan groaned.

"You guys hear something?" Ben asked from the far end of the group.

After everyone turned to stare at him, and then what was behind him, he too slowly looked back. At the end of the hallway, near the other end of the house, the poltergeist had been standing there, his head crooked to the side, staring at them. A moment passed of sheer, frozen terror. The poltergeist took his cue, and opened his mouth wide, showing sharp teeth in a blood-curdling howl that got the entire group running away while screaming.

"YOU SURE YOU WANT TO SYMPATHIZE WITH THAT!?" Dipper yelled at his sister as they ran to the other end of the house.

"IT WAS JUST A SUGGESTION!" Mabel defended herself as she and Dipper followed Wendy's impressive sprint.

The ten slid into the tour section of the house and came to a sliding stop. The large stuffed bear with lizard scales along its body was staring at them and snarling.

"RUN!" Wendy ducked and ran to the right, and the groups split. Dipper, Grunkle Stan, and Geoffrey all followed after Wendy as the other six darted to the other direction. The bear remained on its pole, but other strange aberrations were coming to life. Dipper was punching in the face by a decapitated hand, which landed to the floor and crawled away, racing after them on the ceiling.

"Look out! The Hound of Basketville!" Stan pointed.

Another stand, this time of a large dog entirely comprised out of basket weavings barked and snapped at them forcing them to duck to the left. It tried leaping off it's stand, but it was caught, like the lizard-bear, on it's pole.

"And the dreaded Poshman!" Stan pointed to a poorly decorated mannequin, half dressed like a giant moth creature, the other half a sophisticated gentlemen form Victorian era, holding a tray of tea pots and a kettle.

"I say, any you chaps fancy tea?" he asked them, uncoiling a proboscis and snapping it in the air as they screamed and ran by him.

"Ah! The Wardrobe of Darkness!" Stan shouted, pointing ahead.

"Darkness? What's bad about this one?!" Wendy demanded as they stared at the heavy looking wardrobe to their left.

"Nothing, it's just a cheap gimmick I use for tourism," Grunkle Stan told her, "but that means we're at the end of one of the hallways!"

Indeed, as the four of them looked around, they could only find one path to escape captivity. The way back held a plethora of animated angry beasts and monsters that Stan had constructed, now draw to them by powers of the approaching, immensely pleased Tulpa and poltergeist.

"Ah, that was fun," he told them while grinning, "but now... I have you all-" Wendy stepped forward, yanked the coin out from Dipper's hand, and held it in front of her, showing it off to the being.

"Wendy, wait!" Dipper gasped.

"What... what is that?" the being asked in confusion.

"Your end!" she shouted, and gripped it with both hands. In a quick twist of her wrists, she snapped the flimsy coin in two.

The ghost shrieked and began to coil and warp its form. Gusts of wind and energy exploded from him, knocking Wendy back towards the group. It screamed in pain, colors of its aura pulsing and changing rapidly, as it struggled to retain constant shape. It's shape bulged and grew, twisted and shrunk. There didn't seem to be an end of its pain.

Then the wind stopped, and the ghost stared at the ground, blankly, but still there.

"I... what... WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!?" he demanded as Wendy dropped the pieces of the coin from her hand in shock. It hadn't worked. The ghost, in a clear rage, threw his hand at her, and Wendy was sent flying against the wall past the three behind her. She struck the back wall hard and collapsed to the floor, struggling to get up. "I'm not done with YOU!" the ghost roared, and then swiped his hand through the air.

"WENDY!" Dipper screamed.

His warning could not to prepare her for what came next. The titled 'wardrobe of darkness' was lifted, and it hurtled towards Wendy as she began to stand up. The world from Dipper's perspective slowed as he watched her vanish behind the wooden furniture piece and fly with it against a wall, where a large portion of the wardrobe splintered. Enough force was behind it for the wall to buckle and be imprinted, and he saw, to his horror, the limp hand fall from behind the collapsing wood. Wendy had fallen.

"NO!" Dipper screamed.

"Wendy!" Grunkle Stan ran forward with Dipper. Yet they both came to a screeching halt- the ghost appeared before them, cackling angrily.

"I... I don't know what she did, but it HURT!" he declared, "and now I don't want to play any more! So I'm just going to end this now! I'm done with you all!" he declared, also lifting Geoffrey, who had tried pulling Dipper and Grunkle Stan down from their levitated position.

"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper shouted as the three of them felt the cold grip of invisible force hold them aloft.

"Dipper, just remember, it's not as bad as growing old!" Grunkle Stan managed to remind him grimly.

"Now, GET LOST-"

The ghost paused, looking past the three of them. Someone was humming and clicking their fingers. The three, in their locked positions in the air, slowly craned their heads. Before the entire group of the other survivors, Soos stood, tapping his foot, snapping his fingers, and humming a very familiar tune.

"What... what is this you are doing?" the ghost demanded.

"Dude, lemme introduce you to something you havn't even considered in your wildest haunts," Soos told him, and then whipped his hand to Mabel, behind him. She took the spontaneous cue and leapt forward, slid on the ground, and then opened her mouth.

"_Is this the reeaal world_?" Mabel sang sadly, "_or is this just make-believe_?"

"_Caught in a snow-slide_," Soos continued with her as she slowly stood, holding out a hand to the ghost.

"_No escape from all my dreams_," Mabel added as Soos also extended his hand, standing side by side with Mabel.

"_Open your eyes_," Luke added, trying his best to sing, which was a poor effort, following suit with Soos.

"_And look up to the skies_," Marcus added, following Luke to the other side of the three.

"_Annd seeeee_..." Ben and Adam sang along, each on the side of the six.

"_I'm just a poor girl_," Mabel sang to the ghost, who stood transfixed at the sight of them all singing, enough so that he slowly dropped down the three before him. "_I don't want any pity_!"

"_Because I'm_," the group behind her sang.

"_Easy then_," Mabel added.

"_Easy now_."

"_Kinda high_," Mabel sang.

"_Kinda low_."

"_Anyway the waves crash_," they all sang simultaneously, "_it doesn't really matteerrrrr to meeee_..."

"_To meee_." Mabel finished it off, Soos acting as a-cappella piano for the classing song.

"What is this... beauty," the ghost moaned gently to them as the five behind Mabel rocked back and forth, their arms linked behind their backs as Mabel mustered her best sad voice, and continued.

"_Papa... just kicked a man... put my foot against his back, gave a swung and now he's maaad_..." she sang solemnly, "_papa... the day had just begun... but now I've got to go and make it all again! PAPA!_" she yelled her best, throwing the ghost off guard, but he continued to stare, "_Oh-oooohh... didn't want to be so bad, but if I havn't fixed myself tomorrow, ground meee for a month, because it doesn't really matter..._"

Soos continued to give his best attempt at a-cappella piano, coming off as something between techo-beat boxing and a saddened mule. Mabel took it all to heart, and the ghost was continuously impressed. Enough so where Dipper gulped, summoned his strength, and gave his shot to. He knew this song as well as she did any day.

"_Too late_, " Dipper called, catching the ghost off guard, spinning himself around to stare at Dipper, "_My time is now... sent homework down my line, hands aching all the time. Too late, it's time to go... got to leave you all behind and face... detention... Papa! Oohhhh!_"

"_Any way the wave breaks_," those behind the ghost cooed.

"_Didn't mean to hear you yell! I sometimes wish I hadn't gone to school at all!_" Dipper shouted his best for the song, and then Mabel ran to him, and started grunting a air-guitar solo, which Dipper bobbed his head to as the gang behind the ghost continued to sing their best. Only a few moments seemed to pass as the ghost watched in total awe, when the music stopped, and the six to the side became a choir of boops.

"_I see a little silly pranking of a girl!_" Dipper explained in his best impression of the song.

"_Scared the moose!_"

"_Scared the moose!_" the twins said one after the other.

"_Will you yell to the professor?_" Dipper told Mabel firmly in his singing voice.

"_Loudness and flashing, very-very scaring me!_" All the singers at the same time shouted, shocking the ghost to float several feet higher.

"_Dalai Lama! Dalai Lama! Dalai Lama Rooservelt!_" Dipper and Mabel battled between each other.

"_Significaaaaaaant_," the choir behind the ghost chanted and faded with their voice.

"_We're just some small kids, no body needs us_," the twins quietly said as the group behind the ghost crept up, preparing for their huge roar.

"_THEY'RE JUST SOME SAD KIDS FROM A SAD FAMILY! SPARE THEM SOME TIME FOR THEIR SAD-SAD HOBBIES!_" Soos and the N.P.P.P. bellowed, almost knocking the ghost to the floor from shock.

"_Easy then_," Dipper said quietly.

"_Easy now_," Mabel mimed.

"_Will you let us know_?" the twins asked Soos and the N.P.P.P.

"_YOU WILL NOT KNOW! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! AND SHUT THE DOOOOR!_" the choir roared proudly. "_YOU WILL NOT KNOW! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! AND SHUT THE DOOOOR! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! AND SHUT THE DOOOOR! GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! AND SHUT THE DOOOOR!_"

"_LET US GOOOOooooo!_" Dipper and Mabel demanded of Soos and his band.

"_No, no, No, NO NO!_" the pounded each word into the twins.

"_Oh papa please-a_," Mabel grumbled quickly and angrily, "_Papa please-a, you have to let us go._"

"_These all old crooks, have a little tiny spook for wee, for weee, for,_" they all took a breath, ready for the upbeat part of this madness of a song, "_FOR WEEEEEE!_"

The ghost fell to the floor, watching as every single member of the singing squad rocked out entirely, head-banging their heads around the air and holding their hands up, doing their best to interparty actually playing a instrument, usually a guitar.

"_So you think you can punch and smack my eye?_" Mabel leaned into the grounded ghost.

"_So you think you can ground me and leave us to tiiiime?_" Dipper seconded his sister.

"_OHHHHHH DADY!_" the two of them shouted to the ghost, crawling away from them, "_can't do this to us dady! Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!_"

"ENOUGH!"

The ghost's booming voice stunned all of the singers and they stumbled back, Dipper and Mabel actually leaping back and grabbing hold of one another. The ghost was slowly lifting himself into the air, actually dusting off his shoulders and staring at the crew before him.

"I... I want to know... what that was," he demanded of them.

"Oh, that's called singing," Soos explained quickly.

"Pfft, If you can call that singing from Luke," Adam snickered, and received a quick punch to his stomach from the offended man, "ow. Dude."

"It's music," Mabel suggested to the spectre, who nodded slowly, "it's what people do to feel good about themselves and stuff. And tell stories."

"I... I love it," the ghost told them excitedly, "can you do more!?"

"Maybe," Dipper suggested, and as he looked to the N.P.P.P he got an idea. "But only if you promise to not haunt the people anymore and turn them back to being normal."

"Hmm... I lose haunting people and scaring them... but I get music," the ghost ran the proposal out loud, stroking his bald head. "Hmm... I... I like it. It's a deal!" he said and clapped his hands together.

The lights flickered on and the cold air dissipated. Those animated creatures around them slunk back to their normal position and then froze back as they used to be. The N.P.P.P. gang began to cheer and jump into the air, whooping and celebrating animatedly. Somewhere in the shack more outcries of humans returned to their normal state told Dipper and Mabel that they had been revived to their bodies.

"Wendy!" Dipper gasped and turned to the wooden pile that used to be a thick wardrobe. He ran over and began to pull off pieces of thick wood, not minding the occasional pricks of splinters as long as he could see more and more of her.

"Ah, dude," Wendy groaned once he removed a large piece from her head, "that hurt."

"Wendy, you... you're okay, right?" he asked nervously as Grunkle Stan approached, eyeing her.

"I've been... better?" she tried as she slowly pushed her way out of the pile. Amazingly, She seemed unharmed. Not a single scratch or tear on her, or even, to Dipper's shock, a bruise. She was perfectly fine. He thought she could have been dead, but no. She was still around for him to see. It was enough for him to almost cry, but he held back, as he noticed then, behind her, on her back, a very, very large shrapnel spike sticking from her back.

"Wendy!" Dipper pointed to her back.

"What?" she asked, trying to see behind her.

"You... you don't feel that?" Dipper asked as he looked to her. There was no way she couldn't feel that wooden splinter- it was easily a fourth of an inch thick and easily two inches long.

"I got you, kiddo," Grunkle Stan grunted and instantly pulled out the wooden piece. Her skin tugged along with it for a moment, and Dipper had to look away, feeling ill. Wendy grunted, and then stretched her shoulders.

"Uh, ow," she told Stan, "thanks."

"No problem. We can talk about you paying me back for the wardrobe later," Stan told her, and her mouth fell open.

"What- are you- that's not-"

"Amazing!"

The entire group froze. Justin Oppenheim and his crew were standing by the entrance from the second hallway that lead to the display rooms. The crew still huddled together, staring nervously at the ghost, but Justin was clapping his hands and happily approaching the ghost.

"You love music!?" he demanded of the spirit, "wonderful! WONDERFUL!"

"How... is this wonderful?" Geoffrey asked his current boss.

"Don't you see!?" the producer exclaimed," this is more than just a discovery between two worlds! This is a business opportunity! AN OPPEN-TUNITY!" he declared, and leapt over to the ghost, "so, my poltergeist, here's the deal. I can provide you with new music every week, if you, and all your powers, agree under contract to work for my company to haunt locations if we need your services."

"Wait, what!?" Mabel loudly babbled.

"Of course! Justin called to her, "he won't need food, or rest- and he can scare those who he wants to, and then he'll still get music!" the producer told the ghost, who was staring at him with wide, excited eyes. "So, mister Poltergeist? What do you say to that?" he exclaimed while shoving out a hand before him. The poltergeist only looked to him for a moment longer, and then shook the hand eagerly. "But him an MP3 player as soon as you can," the producer told his assistant off-handedly.

Dipper and Mabel watched for the next half hour as the crew excitedly became acquainted with the ghost, filmed enough sequences of them being chased by the poltergeist, who they had all come to call P.G., and then called it for their entire recording. Grunkle Stan was fast at demanding cash up front, to which the producer quickly obliged him happily.

"Remember, keep your eyes tuned on W.P.G.T.P.!" he told them as he and his crew climbed into the vans, along with P.G. the ghost.

"Thanks for the song you two!" the ghost waved to the twins, who waved back uncertainly.

"Hey," Geoffrey said to the group of the twins, Wendy, Soos, and Grunkle Stan as the N.P.P.P. began to pack up and also climb into their van, "look, I know we got off to a bad start, you know? So... I wanted to apologize for coming off as jerks the first time we met."

"Oh!" Mabel exclaimed, "an apology!"

"No problem," Dipper shrugged, "I guess it's easier sometimes to try hard and forget that you're talking to someone else, you know?"

"Yeah, it can be," Luke added as he lifted a heavy box into the van.

"I guess we can look deep within our hearts to forgive you," Wendy told them after a long sigh. "Just... do yourself a favor, and if you're going to go for a look," she told them gaining their attention, "plaid. Plaid is sooo in."

"Plaid?" they asked in unison. When Wendy nodded, they shrugged and continued climbing into the van.

"Thanks you guys," Geoffrey added for a last time as the door closed, "you really helped us out."

"Hey, remember to cite us and our awesomeness on your television show!" Grunkle Stan called to them as they began to drive away, following the line of white-panel vans disappearing down the dirt-path. The five of them stared and watched them vanish down the road, and it was Grunkle Stan who finally sighed.

"Well, I'm going to bed. First thing tomorrow, I'm burning the figures I saw come to life. No need for any more nightmares in my head," he told them.

"Aw, that sounds great! We can make a bonfire," Soos added long, "and have smores! Oh, and some chips! And Nachos!"

"I'm so into that plan," Wendy snickered. "Man. Crazy night, huh?" she asked to the twins, hands in her pockets.

"More like _awesome_ night!" Mabel corrected her with decorum. Dipper grinned, and noticed the darkness in the sky.

"Wendy, shouldn't you be somewhere?" he asked her.

"Huh?"

"Yeah... you know... home?" he asked her. Wendy blankly stared at him, and then life flashed into her eyes and she jolted into the air.

"Right! Duh, of course! Home!" she shouted and ran for the gift shop. A moment later she re-emerged, carrying her bag and her helmet as she made for her bike, "because I needed to be home like an hour ago! Shoot!"

"Don't let your dad get too mad," Mabel winked at Wendy, who laughed in what Dipper thought was a very forced manner.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," she said with a quick wave as she got on her bike and sped off. He watched her go, seeing her hair billowing behind her. Red hair. Something in his mind flashed back from three weeks ago, but he shrugged it off, and turned back for the outdoor sofa.

"Dipper? Wassup dude?" Mabel asked as she watched him skulk over and sit down.

"I don't know... I just got this feeling about... her," he said carefully, looking at the path Wendy's bike had just vanished behind.

"Like a 'oozy goozy' kind of feeling?" Mabel asked, bouncing her eyebrows at him expectantly. To her surprise, he didn't even react to her tease, instead staring at the road. "Whoa, you totally missed that, didn't you?"

"No, I saw you," he told her.

"Then... what are you thinking?" she asked Dipper, who said nothing for a moment.

"I don't know... she didn't even notice that huge splinter in her back. Mabel, it was huge. I would have been crying like baby if it had been in me," he told her. She only snickered. "I'm serious!"

"You'd cry like a baby if I poked you hard enough," she sneered at him. He opened his mouth, but then Mabel gasped and slapped his shoulder.

"Ow! What?!"

"Dude," Mabel looked intently at Dipper, a powerful, angry look in her eye, "this all happened because of that coin, right?"

"Yeah?" Dipper guessed.

"So it was the coin that brought that Tulpa to the Manor?" she asked him again.

"Well, I don't think he's a Tulpa anymore, since the coin was broken," Dipper admitted, "but yeah... I don't see what-" he then gasped as well.

Someone particular had given them that coin. The same day. As a peace offering. The twins glared at each other.

"Warlock," they growled.

"He didn't want peace," Dipper told his sister, "he just wanted to get back at us! Or worse, kill us!" Dipper told his sister, "as long as he believed that the Tulpa was stuck in the coin, the Tulpa wouldn't become a threat to him! It was a bomb he armed by leaving it to us!"

"Ohhhhhh that jerk-wad!" Mabel punched her first into her palm, "he's going to get it coming now."

"That's assuming ff he's still here," Dipper sighed, "maybe this was just his way of vanishing and leaving a bomb go off while he runs away. You know, a jerk-thing to do."

"Humph. We see him again, I'm totally going to punch his face inside out," Mabel told Dipper, who laughed.

"And then I'll punch it normal again so you can repeat the process," he told her happily. The two of them laughed, basking in the glory that was their enemy in a hypothetical painful situation that was totally under their control. Mabel stroked her leg, and reached to the ground.

"Hey... aren't we missing people?" she asked Dipper, who tilted his head in question. "Where's Waddles?" she asked him.

A good five minutes down the dirt path, Wendy had just halted her bike. She was looking into the woods, where, locked between two tightly packed trees in a ditch, Yuki was backing up and forwarding the golf cart. As her green eyes took in the sight of him nervously and frantically trying to remove the cart from the ditch, and the pig simply sitting next to him, and then eyeing Wendy, she couldn't help but shake her head.

"Yuki," she asked, "what the heck are you... do you need help?" she asked him. The alien jumped and looked to her. Tears were welling in his eyes.

"Yes!" he dramatically informed her, crying fully, "I need help! Your earthly human world is scary and difficult! I am not prepared for any of this!" he bawled and slammed his head onto the horn, which blared loudly. Yuki then leapt up, and slammed his head against the ceiling, causing him to only cry more, going limp and grabbing onto Waddles for comfort.

* * *

Part two complete! And that's it for Episode One! Cool, huh? Bet you guys didn't expect a Tulpa at the start of this episode, did you? Well, here you are! :)

The song, for those of you who couldn't tell, was Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody. A beautiful song that I butchered because I needed them to sing to the ghost. Deal with it. :D

New mysteries are established, and a new enemy is set up. No more Gideon, now it's the Warlock, or as we know him, Graupner. How German can you get? Gruapner... Huh. I've heard worse I suppose. And Dipper is noticing something with Wendy? What's up with that? (wink at tEI2.0 and Archer)

Next Episode is called "Bragging Rights". Take a gander at what that's all about, why don't you? Until next time, this is EZB, signing off- (an Anvil falls on EZB's head, killing him instantly. The Anvil then explodes into confetti as kittens and puppies parade happily around the scene.)

* * *

**Grgy, Vuux Cktje. O qtkc nkx.**


	25. Bragging Rights: Part 1

"Kids! Come here, quick!" Grunkle Stan shouted from the living room.

It was still early morning, and far too early for the workers of the Mystery Manor to be marching through the door, with exception to Yuki, who was busy reading through a dictionary in the kitchen. Dipper came sliding down the stairs, barely dressed and decent, as Mabel followed suit in the same manner, but with her own narrating beebs, boops, and 'whops'.

"What is it?" Mabel demanded, scanning the floor, "is there unusual species of rodent in the house again?"

"No, check it out!" Stan, half way through adjusting his bow around his neck point to the active television screen. The twins approached either side of the older man, and stared.

"The world is a strange, dangerous, mysterious, and strange place," the television announcer told the three of them as mist flowed across the screen before a large abandoned mansion, "but no place is too strange for the North Pacific Paranormal People!"

"Oh!" Dipper exclaimed, "we could totally be on television!" he looked to his sister, who beamed excitedly and they both looked to the TV again.

A catchy, exciting theme was being played as clips from several days ago were played. One of Grunkle Stan's recordings of him walking down a hallway and turning around had been edited with a dark shadow passing behind him as well as Mabel's great turn and stare. Dipper even had a word on the television, a brief few warnings about ghosts.

"Remember, it's not just real," the announcer told them as the five members of the N.P.P.P. stood before them, crossing their arms and staring seriously and grimly ahead, "it's totally real. Totally Real Paranormal Mystery Show, coming soon! On Watch People Go To Places."

"My voice was on television!" Dipper exclaimed. "I'm almost famous!"

"We're totally going to be able to tell mom and dad about this," Mabel grinned to him as Grunkle Stan chuckled and turned off the TV, "they'll finally believe us."

"Ha! Not likely," Stan told them. "Your parents are about as stuck in the fantasy world of 'normal' as they come!"

"Oh! It sounds just soo horrible!" Mabel said with a big fat grin. Dipper laughed with her as Stan rolled his eyes and continued working on his tie.

"Hey! Yuki!" Grunkle Stan called into the kitchen, "you found a good synonym for 'no refund' that's too complicated for anyone to know?"

"Ah, my search continues," Yuki told him, "the closest I have come across is remuneration."

"Huh... what does that mean?" Stan asked.

"It is a form of compensation- payment. To-"

"PERFECT!" Stan shouted, and turned away, "have you and Soos put it on a bunch of signs so we can have everyone can 'not-know' they're being ripped off! Ha!" Stans put his hands before himself and painted the image, "Hehehe. 'No-remuneration'. I love it!"

"I don't believe this is a wise choice," Yuki protested, following him and the twins into the Gift shop, "should people discover your fraudulence and quality of the merchandise you intend to sell-"

"Yuki, I've been conning people for a long time. No one comes back, even if they like the place. Heck, not even the people in town care enough about this stuff," Grunkle Stan put it to him simply and almost disappointed sounding, "so stuff it. And get to work with those signs!" he ordered to his lackey. Yuki sighed and turned away, discouraged in his attempt to put Stan on the path of an honest life.

"You know Grunkle Stan," Dipper pointed out to his elder as Yuki left, "he does have a point. Especially since people are going to be staying here over night, there's more of a chance that someone could notice that half the stuff you sell is just cheap crud for high prices."

"Oi, another whiner," Stan groaned and turned to him, "don't you have something better to be doing other than siding with the bleeding heart?"

"I think Yuki has two hearts actually," Mabel puzzeld aloud, "he told me something about his heart rate being hard to read by human standards."

"Whatever," Stan rolled his eyes. The gift shop door opened and a large man walked in, humming to himself excitedly and adjusting his hat. "Good. Soos, Yuki's going to go make a bunch of new signs to replace the old ones. Go make sure he doesn't fall into the paint can again, will you?"

"Sure thing, Mister Pines!" Soos nodded happily, and started over towards the kitchen. As he passed the twins, giving them a smile and wave, he paused, a puzzling look coming over his eyes. "Hm. There's something I totally need to tell you guys."

"What?" the both asked. Soos squinted in the distance, and then focused onto those two.

"I forgot. Give me like five minutes and it'll come to me," Soos shrugged and walked past them.

"Ha, okay Soos," Mabel snorted as she let the large man pass by her, "I wonder if it's about that warlock guy."

"I think he'd remember if he spotted the guy stalking around town," Dipper replied to his sister. Yet his mind reverberated with the event a few days prior, "then again... I don't know. He said he was leaving town, but I don't think we can trust his word on anything."

"I trust _that_," Mabel padded her brother's shoulder, and he smiled. From outside, the scraping sound of stopping bike tire caught their attention. "Wendy's here," Mabel told her brother, her grin becoming cheeky and expectant. "Guess that means you're going to be half distracted for the rest of the day," Mabel winked to her brother as she turned and grabbed a coloring book and planted herself on the floor. Dipper gasped and searched his brain for the proper retort.

"I- just- what is that supposed to mean?" he demanded of her.

"Oh c'mon bro-cola," Mabel looked up to him, coloring in the sketch of a velociraptor with bright neon colors, "ever since the ghost stuff, you've been keeping an eye on her." Dipper turned away to the door quickly. He did not need Wendy catching any of this conversation, but Mabel laughed. "Dipper, why don't you just... you know, ask her out or something?"

"What?" Dipper gasped.

"Yeah dude," Mabel shrugged, "worst comes to worst she says no, and is still your friend, because she's awesome like that. Don't be such a wuss," she added, sticking out her tongue to him.

Dipper scowled, yet said nothing. Truthfully, he hadn't been staring at Wendy dreamily as he used to. Something was eating at his mind, a worry in his head he couldn't help but try exercising by letting curiosity dictate what he stared at: her. Wendy. The girl he crushed on more so than any other girl he had ever in his life, the older, pretty, cool girl who never looked down on Dipper for anything.

Yet something was off. He was certain of it, but he couldn't pin-point it. She barely reacted to that huge chunk of wood in her back, and she hadn't even gotten a bruise from the wardrobe. Or... if she had, as she always wore her long sleeves so actually catching bruises was difficult, she wasn't acting like she was injured. It just bugged him. Had that been anyone else, Dipper was afraid a trip to the hospital would have been needed.

Then again, this was Wendy he was thinking about. The girl who was, just now, stepping through the door.

"Sup dudes," she called to them as she stepped to her post, "Stan! I'm here," she called.

"Great! Do work or something," he called back through the building.

"Hi Wendy!" Mabel called from the floor, "Look! A Glam-oraptor!" she declared as she lifted the picture of the dinosaur coloring book to display her version of the dinorsaur, but drawn to have a fluffy python around its neck and stylish glasses over its eyes. High heels and gaudy rings completed the image. Wendy chuckled and reached into her bag.

"Nice- ow," she groaned, holding her side.

"Are... are you okay?" Dipper asked, approaching her quickly.

"Yeah. I think the adrenaline of being thrown around by a poltergeist-Tulpa wore off. I feel sucky," she admitted, yet reached down, groaning all the way. Dipper frowned, but said nothing. "Here," she pulled out a small post card, "got something from your friends."

"Huh?" the twins asked. Despite Dipper's immediate proximity to Wendy, Mabel was up and next to the counter, stretching her arm past Dipper to snag the object- a single postcard. Dipper, in his eagerness to grab the card actually managed to weave his arm around hers, knocking Mabels hand away and grabbing it for his own.

"Ha! Mine," he told her teasingly. Mabel stuck her tongue out, but turn around to side next to him, reading along as he read the card aloud, "Dear Dipper and Mabel, how's the crazy town treating you? We've only just caught up with the phoenix," the twins then gasped and looked to one another, "Jace and Jessandra!"

"Yeah, those two," Wendy nodded and filed through one of her magazines as she kicked her legs up to the counter. Dipper continued.

"Took us all the way to Baja California, and we may have burned a few homes while getting it under control, but we couldn't have done it without your help," Dipper looked to Mabel with a grin, and she cooed happily back before he continued with his reading, "so we thought after we drop the phoenix back home, we can stop by and say hi again. It's cool to know normal people, and we wanted to get a tour around Gravity Falls."

"That'd be lovely!" Mabel nudged Dipper, "we could make it a trip to the pool- oh... wait, they probably wouldn't like that."

"Hiding feathers?" Dipper reminded her and she sighed.

"Maybe... OH!" she exclaimed, "HANG GLIDING!"

Dipper laughed as Mabel cheered excitedly and he continued. "Anyway, hope you've been safe and as awesome as we remember. We know that town of yours is crazy! Talk to you later, J and J," Dipper finalized, and looked to Wendy, "thanks for grabbing this."

"No problem," she told them offhandedly, "was in the mailbox, didn't look like Stan's usual, so it was going to probably be yours."

"Guys!" A roar from the backrooms pulled the focus from Wendy to Soos, who came running into the room, gripping a wet paintbrush and slopping black paint all over his shirt, "I just remembered what I needed to tell you!"

"What is it?!" Dipper demanded.

"Gravity Falls is holding their second annual talent show this weekend!" Soos announced excitedly. Mabel gasped, squealed, and began to hop in place.

"Talent show! Talent show! TALENT SHOW!" she roared and began to run around.

"Gravity Falls does a talent show?" Dipper asked Soos.

"Yeah dude! It's held each year after school is over," Soos told him, and Wendy also piped up.

"They stared last year after they stopped doing Pioneer Day," Wendy told them, "something about a problem with the founder of the town?" She looked to Soos. "You know anything about that?"

"The way I heard it," he began, "it's that the town founder was a fraud. A big 'ol fakey fraud. The Northwests are supposed to be related to them, so they replaced the holiday with an annual talent show," Soos explained. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look, Dipper smiling devilishly and Mabel shaking her head but smiling along. "You two know something about that?" Soos inquired of them.

"Ask Dipper," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"We found out that their ancestor, Nathaniel Northwest, didn't create this town, but the eighth -and-a-half president did!" he excitedly told them.

"Who?" Wendy crooked her head.

"So, I got to take the incriminating evidence and shove it into Pacifica's face," Dipper told them, crossing his arms together, "and let her soak in the shame."

"I thought she said she made it go away or something," Mabel told Dipper, but he shrugged.

"Oh!" Soos snapped his fingers, "as it turns out, a pair of maids from the manor supposedly found something like that in the trash, and kept it in case they were unjustly fired!"

"Let me guess," Wendy looked to him, and Soos nodded.

"So the word finally got out, huh?" Dipper grinned. "Serves her right." Mabel however was less enthused about the topic, and frowned.

"I don't know, that sounds kind of sad," Mabel admitted. The three turned to stare at her, "I mean, I'm not saying they should just, you know, not let people know the truth, but-"

"Mabel, they roll in cash for a past time," Wendy informed her, "they can blow their nose on toilet paper made of dollar bills."

"Aww, and the guy on that picture looks like such a gentlemen," Mabel sighed, looking deflated.

"Cheer up, hambone," Soos patted her shoulder, "at least there are, like, a thousand more of him out there in the world. Maybe more!" he told her. "Besides, you should totally join the talent show."

"Huh? For what?" Mabel asked around.

"C'mon Mabel," Wendy snorted, "you've got those mad martial arts skills you could show off! That's totally talent-worthy."

"I don't know," Mabel rubbed the back of her head, eyeing the others, "you're not really supposed to show of the skills of the Paths to people. I was kinda breaking the rules when I showed Dipper and you guys that stuff."

"Mabel, c'mon, we can make something out of this," Dipper informed her excitedly, "I'm not saying I'm anywhere close to your skill with this sort of thing, but we can come up with something awesome! Hey, maybe we can make it a competition!" Dipper suggested to the other two, "you know- represent the Mystery Manor?"

"Oh, I'm so in that," Soos nodded, crossing his arms and padding his hat to the side, "I've already got an idea!"

"Cool!" the twins jointly said. Dipper looked to Wendy, who shrugged.

"I don't really like showing off," Wendy told them, playing with some of her hair by her shoulder.

"What? Wendy, this is the one place you're allowed to show off!" Dipper explained, "You're plenty awesome!" Wendy laughed but shook her head. "Why not?" Dipper asked her.

"Name me one thing I can do that can be shown off on a stage," she ordered the twins. Dipper laughed.

"That's easy, you're super athletic and acrobatic," he told her, "you climb trees like nothing."

"Like a bear!" Mabel added on excitedly.

"I don't know guys," Wendy looked away, rubbing the back of her head. She looked to the door, peering into the wilderness beyond, and gave the suggestion a thought. "Maybe? I'll think about it I suppose." Dipper cheered with Mabel.

"Awesome! We'll score that prize for the Mystery Manor for sure now!" Soos declared with a fist pump.

"Speaking of stuff with the Mystery Manor," Wendy looked to the door again, where a large van was beginning to park by the parking section, "Stan!" she called, "money!" The stampeding old man barreled through the gift shop like Mabel had several days ago when Waddles first arrived. He glanced through the door and turned to his workers and family.

"Alright, you four," he announced, "the Mystery Manor needs to get some people to actually stay in those rooms this weekend, otherwise I don't know how I'm ever going to get my money back. I need you all to act like you love staying here again!"

"Uh, for how long?" Dipper piped up, catching Stan as he started to turn towards the door.

"For as long as it takes," Grunkle Stan told him, and Dipper groaned. "What? Don't tell me you have another stupid mystery thing going around again?"

"No," Dipper grunted and rolled his eyes, but Mabel leapt to the opportunity.

"We're going to go sign up for a talent show and represent the Mystery Manor this weekend!" Mabel told Grunkle Stan, who sighed.

"Oh, _that_ stupid waste of time... then again, cash," Grunkle Stan began to stroke his cheek and jaw line, "and on the other hand, if you two won the competition-"

"Or Soos!" Soos piped in, "I'm also going!"

"Ohh... this could be big. If I can get the name to be more popular in town again," Stan rubbed his hands together, spinning his black eight-ball capped can quickly, "okay, okay, so go ahead and go down to town and figure out that stuff. Soos, I need you here for now."

"But the-"

"The twins can sign you up, right?" Stan looked to Dipper and Mabel.

"I've had experience with forgery before!" Mabel stated proudly.

"Dang right you did!" Stan told her, and looked back to Soos, "See? They'll sign your name."

"Well... okay then," Soos nodded, and gave the twins a thumbs up, "go get me all official-ized and stuff."

"Hey, while you're at it- YUKI!" Stan roared loudly to the ceiling. An outcry of panic was followed by the scampering of a particular alien, who came running into the room, panting and his chest heaving. "HA! That never gets old," Stan mused as he looked to him.

"Is there something I am required for?" Yuki asked after gaining steady breath.

"Yeah. Go with the twins into town. Do that survey you thought would help with advertising," Stan nodded to the twins as he told him this.

"Extra placements for your signs would certainly help in the endeavor to attract attention," Yuki nodded, and smiled to the twins, "I will gladly go with them to town."

"ROAD TRIP!" Mabel yelled. Before the startled alien could react, she darted over to him, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and raced out the room with him, almost dragging him along the way. Dipper laughed and followed.

"Anything you guys want while we're in town?" Dipper asked the three as he backed out the door.

"Have they made machines that replicate money yet?" Grunkle Stan asked.

"I'm good," Wendy winked at him as she re-assumed the counter station.

"Have fun, dawg!" Soos waved and Dipper turned and let himself out the door. Mabel was hopping up and down by his car with Yuki, who was adjusting his had to better hide his hair as the family who had just arrived happily approached the gift shop door.

"They didn't see my leafs, did they?" he asked them, scratching at the hat.

"Don't worry," Mabel patted the crest of his hat, "I think the only thing they're looking at is the mystery ahead of them."

"And the soon to be lacking of cash in their wallet," Dipper added.

"I must admit, when I expected to be living with your grand uncle for the summer until I could acclimate better to the situation of earth-life," Yuki told them as Dipper unlocked the car with a beep from a small electronic beep, "I hadn't expected Stanley to be so... ravenous and rapacious."

"Be so whaaat?" Mabel asked as she got into the passenger seat alongside Dipper.

"He means greedy," Dipper said, "in a polite sort of way, I think."

"Oh. That's the Grunkle for ya thunkle!" Mabel told the alien as he sat behind them.

"I suppose I just have to overcome his short-sightedness towards monetary gain," Yuki sighed as Dipper turned the car on, and got them going.

The drive to Gravity Falls was like their many returns to the city, but inlaid with many of Yuki's questions about driving and the function of all cars. Many of which Dipper and Mabel could answer easily, and told him so with a snappy return. Many more, however, only Dipper could half-answer, and even more than that they couldn't answer. The exact functions and components to a car engine were not either of the twin's forte of knowledge.

Regardless of the worried state the twins were in after they both realized that they needed to learn a tad more about their transports, they slowly arrived in the town square. As it might have been two years ago, there were men and women walking around, carrying pieces of building supplies and construction tools around. Where a once-proud statue of a noble looking Nathanial Northwest stood, a new platform had been constructed, along with a stage backdrop and a whole mess of other components to make the setting for talent show entirely plausible. Folding chairs were all being lined up along the stage side, and Mabel feverish bouncing grew more rapid.

"Ohhhhh this is so exciting!" she shouted, clawing at Dipper's arm, who shook with her movement.

"Yes! Ow! It is," Dipper finally yanked himself from her, but before he could exit she reached over and crushed him in a Mabel-like power hug, and then she darted out of the car.

"She is quite roused," Yuki told her brother.

"Really? I couldn't notice," Dipper rolled his eyes as he stepped out with Yuki.

"But... but it was quite-" Dipper turned to give the Alien a particularly trying stare, "Ohhhh, yes. Sarcasm. I do understand."

"I think over there is where you sign up," Dipper pointed to a large desk set up by the stage, trying to catch Mabel's attention. "Mabel!" Dipper shouted to her when she was too enamored with looking at the decorations being hung up around street lamps and the sides of buildings, and she whipped to him.

"I heard you grumpy-dumpy!"

"I will leave you the two of you to your mission. I have work your grand uncle requires of me. Good luck," he waved to them before turning and walking away, heading back down the street, eyeing the buildings as he passed. As he passed someone, his attention was broken, and as he had done before, he nervously adjusted his hat.

"You think he will be okay?" Mabel asked Dipper as she walked over to him.

"I have the feeling he may be hiding in an alleyway later, but I hope he'll be okay," Dipper shrugged, "we'll go find him after we sign us and Soos up."

"Yeah!" Mabel ruffled Dipper's head for a moment and they turned and started for the desk. Somewhere in the transition from moving from the car to a few lonely looking attendants by the desk, someone had come striding out from behind the stage and made an unintentional line straight for the twins. The woman, flanked by two other women, had her face in a note-clip, and was telling them figures.

"...and we have the right amount of provided drinks, so just make sure those idiots actually bring the vouchers, or they don't get soda," the blonde girl told the two next to her hurriedly, "and then when the announcer arrives-"

"He's here," the darker skinned girl told her quickly as they rapidly approached a watching Dipper and Mabel.

"Good, get him to run into the back of the stage and get measured. He needs a fitted piece for this show-"

"Oof!" Mabel exaggerated the noise of the impact as the blond girl slammed into her first, and stumbled back.

"Hey!" she growled, pulling aside the clipboard and pushing the blonde bangs out from her eyes, "watch where you're going!" she shouted at Dipper and Mabel before moving past them and mumbling, "I swear people just don't watch where they are going. I need to make that a law when I'm a senator."

"Actually," Mabel spun, a grin on her face, "it's legal to go where you want without looking! I legalized everything! Forever!" she declared loudly, stopping the leading figure in her tracks. Dipper eyed his sister's enthusiasm as she stared at the back of the trio. The followers, each with their fashionable selection of clothing and all of it color-coordinated, spun and stared at Mabel. The lead, with perfect hairdo that flowed down to the middle of her back, turned and looked at Mabel. "Hi Pacifica!" Mabel beamed and waved her hand.

The blond haired, blue eyed, rich girl of Gravity Falls said nothing at first. Her hand seemed to nervously play with the edge of her designer shirt, the same kind of strong hot pink colors the twins remembered her wearing three years ago blazed off her clothing. Her friends checked with her as Pacifica Northwest eyed Mabel and Dipper, still saying nothing.

"It's-a me," Mabel reached inside her sweater pocket, pulled out a stick-on mustache, and slapped it onto her face, "a-Mabel!" Mabel grinned and held her arms to her sides dramatically. The blonde still said nothing. "You know," Mabel slowly let her arms drop to the side as she stopped using the silly accent, "we were mini-golf partners for a bit? My brother helped out with the ghost stuff? Uh... we met at a dance off?" Mabel asked disappointedly, the girl's blank eyes still staring down at her.

"How long ago was it?" Pacifica asked quickly.

"Three years!" Mabel answered happily, "we became kinda-friends-"

"Yeah, sorry," Pacifica pushed past her two friends and approached the twins, "I'm sure you thought we were cool or, whatever," Pacifica shook her head as she eyed the two of them, "but I make it a personal mission to only like people with... a sense of style," she said, rolling her eyes at Mabel's sweater, "not to mention I cut out people I don't see past a few months."

The brunette twin's eyes dropped as quickly as her happy grin. Not only was she back to bad, she didn't even remember Mabel's interactions with her. All that work to make her act like a normal human being, gone down the drain of time.

"But, but we fought off the Lilliputtians together," Mabel struggled to regain her lost energy. "That was life or death. You don't even remember that?"

"Ha," Pacifica brushed the hair behind her head with a quick flick of her hand, "what? Lillipuddies? Lilly-pads? What?" her friends laughed as she snorted. "Listen, uh, Maple," Pacifica stared at Dipper as well as she said this, "I want to make it clear to you two, I'm not interested in knowing, or interacting with people who can't distinguish burgundy and dark bordo, okay?"

"I... isn't Bordo a comedian?" Mabel turned and asked Dipper.

"That's Groucho, actually," Dipper informed her quietly.

"Either way, if you two want to sign up for the talent show, whatever," Pacifica told them, "just make sure you're not doing a fashion display. I don't see much talent there," she sneered and quickly flipped around, and marched off with her snickering friends.

"Well, that confirms it," Dipper said while shaking his head, "that is one person I would not save from a giant spider. Right Mabel?" he asked. Mabel didn't answer, and he turned to face her. She had moved away, and was leaning on the front of his car, hands in her pocket, staring at the ground. "Mabel?" Dipper tried again, approaching her.

"I thought I was a better friend than that," Mabel grumbled to the ground.

"You- what?" Dipper gasped, pulling off his hat and scratching his scalp.

"When I met Pacifica," Mabel told him, "I knew she was a lost soul of the world. And I was certain I could get her to be a normal human being if I tried hard enough," Mabel explained, "and... I sort of gave up, yeah," Mabel shrugged, "but you try befriending that, but even smaller and higher pitched."

"I wouldn't if my life required it," Dipper grunted.

"I just thought that after I finally started getting through to her," Mabel admitted, "maybe she could keep at it on her own? I don't know," Mabel reached up and ripped off her mustache, and threw it onto the ground, "It was all for nothing in the end."

"Wow," Dipper stepped down and picked up the mustache, "this is worth throwing a mustache to the ground for?" Mabel shrugged and sniffled lightly. "C'mon Mabes," Dipper tried with her, leaning on the car next to her, "she's... a jerk, sure, but you can't be angry at yourself for this."

"I'm a horrible manners coach," Mabel told him, grabbed his own hat, and pulled it over her face. "For all I know, Waddles is a monstrous person and likes to roast babies alive."

"He doesn't," Dipper rolled his eyes and slowly pulled off his hat from her, "Mabel, she's lived in that crazy mansion on the hill for the past three years with that crazy family. Maybe it's hard to be a nice person when you don't have to be, you know?" he tried explaining, "she's got that super-rich family that can solve everything, so... Mabel," Dipper nudged her shoulder, and she relented and looked to him, and he sighed. He couldn't help but want to help those beaten eyes. "Maybe she's just having a bad day," he tried.

"Yeah," Mabel sighed, and pushed herself off the car, "I guess it's not too bad."

"Let's go talk to those nicer looking people," Dipper told her, pointing to the bored looking people by the desk. Mabel nodded and sighed, still down, but certainly not dragging her feet now. "Hey!" Dipper called to the desk, "we were hoping you could tell us about the Talent show?"

"John, they're yours," the older of the two, a woman said. The man named John, who looked to be just a few years older than the twins, groaned and nodded, looking down to his folder, which was open.

"In order to sign, you must sign your name and put down a name to your talent/performance," he told them as grumpily as a human being could muster, "and if you're under eighteen, fill out a waiver with..." he looked to the pages next to him, and then glared back at the twins, "just sign your name. The northwests don't care who signs up."

"Really?" Dipper asked as Mabel shrugged and started signing hers and Soos's name. "Why don't they? Shouldn't you want to make sure-"

"Listen kid," the older woman leaned over, "the Northwests have about as much money as the rest of this town combined, and then have more to spare. They just throw enough at something and problems go away. Besides, their kid will probably win," she admitted as she leaned back.

"Why? Is she talented?" Mabel asked once her task was done.

"It wouldn't matter if she was or not," the woman told them, "the judges are family friends of the Northwest. The only two positions they actually have to vote on are second and third place." Dipper gasped and stammered angrily. "Yeah," the woman nodded.

"Are you kidding-"

"Thanks for the info!" Mabel told them, and pulled back her angry brother away from the stagnantly dull duo by the desk.

"That's... so stupid!" Dipper growled, "there's no point to this if they automatically give her first place!"

"I guess having money does give you everything there is in the world," Mabel sighed. They approached their cars, and the two of them equally distressed, leaned on the hood, their arms crossed. Standing there for a few solid minutes, the two of them vented silently, watching construction workers from Weytani-Yuland run around, building what they had been commissioned for.

"So, are you still going to sign up?" Mabel asked her brother after a few minutes.

"No."

"Awww, c'mon bro!" she nudged his arm, "it could be fun! Forget their stupid reward. I just want to show off! It's the whole reason for talent shows in the first place- to brag about yourself without judgement," Mabel told him wisely, "so forget any reward!"

"I doubt I have any talent that could get me on that stage," he huffily admitted. "I'm not flashy or anything like that."

"Then... maybe we should do it together," Mabel suggested.

"Huh? How?"

"Umm... what can you do a million times better than me?" she asked him earnestly. Dipper gave a moment to think, uncertain there were many things that could be measured he was better than her at, aside from common sense.

"I guess... math," he said.

"Hmm... I totally want to do something with the Paths," Mabel told him excitedly, "so if we can find something to do that involves them both-" Mabel gasped, and leapt off the car, "I got it!"

"Yeah?" Dipper smiled as her energy infected him.

"We let the audience come up with a crazy math problem you solve, and then in order to select the numbers and stuff, we have to hit them with path-technique!" Like, we put the number nine up somewhere," Mabel painted the picture, stepping back, "and in order to use nine, one of us would have to do the Baton-Kick," she then demonstrated, leaping high into the air, spinning twice, and kicking at the invisible object above her, easily seven feet up, and landing perfectly," and boom! Now math is crazy cool!"

"That does sound like something that could be cool," Dipper agreed, scratching his still growing stubble of facial hair, "but I'm not... sure I could pull that off Mabel."

"Dude, leave odds to me. You get the evens," she winked at him, and Dipper laughed.

"And Zero? Are we counting zero and even?" he asked her, and she blew a raspberry and shrugged. "Okay, I'll handle the math parts. I'm in."

"YES!" Mabel leapt at him and hugged him quickly. "Let's go find Yuki and tell him what we're going to do!"

Smiling, and a tad more content with the unfairness of the world, the twins started off from the car, Dipper making sure it was locked before leaving it be. It was a busy Friday in Gravity Falls, as the town was clearly excited and bustling about with energy to match Mabel. The twins at one point spotted Tambry, walking out from a salon and heading towards a parking spot, but decided against saying hello.

"I think she technically only remembers meeting her for the second time," Dipper reminded Mabel, who wanted to ensure she was okay, "since, you know, she was still a robot at the time."

"I know, I know," Mabel moaned, "but stiiiill..."

"Relax. She's on her phone again and looks normal enough to me," Dipper told her with a smile, "she's fine."

"She better be," Mabel grumbled, "we chased her through the woods and in a car to make sure she's okay. Speaking of okay, how far have we moved across town?" Mabel asked as he looked around.

"Why? What does that have to do with being okay?" Dipper questioned her.

"I still haven't spotted Yuki," she said worriedly.

The two paused, half way down the middle of the two primary roads through Gravity Falls. Indeed, while there was plenty of folk walking around easily and happily on the sunny day, there was no sight of the dark-skinned and nervous looking teenager-alien. Dipper's mind went straight for what he had said, and he checked the closest alleyway. No alien was sadly brooding alone, so he checked across the street.

"Where do you think he's gone to?" Dipper asked.

"Here," a voice from behind called them. Dipper and Mabel spun around. Standing by the doorway of the Library, Yuki was glancing to them, and then looking across the street.

"Yuki? What are you-"

"To cover first, my friends," he told them waving them over quickly. The twins hurried over, and also leaned against the hallway with him.

"Yuki, what are you doing?" Mabel asked as they followed up behind him, peering past him as Dipper looked inside the library briefly.

"I was making a successful study of feasible locations for your grand uncles advertisements," he started while looking away, across the street, "and then happened upon a... well, an umbrous figure," Yuki told them, pointing now.

"A what?" Dipper and Mabel asked, and leaned out, staring across the street.

Standing in the mild shadows between the salon and an office was a figure. The twins had totally passed over it previously when they spotted Tambry, and Mabel scolded herself for not noticing the person before. Thin, tall, and hooded, the person was staring at the talent show construction silently and still. With a twitch of movement, the hood turned and looked right at them, and the three pulled back with a yelp.

"Is it him?" Yuki asked them, "the warlock you have mentioned?"

"I don't know," Mabel admitted, rubbing her forehead, "I didn't get a look at his face."

"Who else do we know who skulks around in shadows with a hood, in the middle of the day, in the middle of June?" Dipper asked the two of them. They both shrugged and Dipper nodded. "Exactly." The three slowly craned their heads back out, peering back across the street to their target.

That said individual had just vanished. "Dang," Dipper stepped out from his hiding spot, trying to peak around the corner to get a better view. "He's gone."

"I would suggest this be for the better, but..." Yuki looked between them, "It is clear he intends to do you harm if he is choosing to remain within the town."

"At least he's dumb with his looks," Mabel pointed out, "A hoodie? We'll be able to spot him instantly. Unless Gravity Falls has a 'hoodie' day in the middle of the summer," she added as she stepped out with her brother. Then a more sinister fear struck her. "Dipper, Soos said that the Talent Show is a big chance for everyone to come out, and it's really popular, right?"

"Yeah?" Dipper turned to her, and then her worried look infected him, "it's tomorrow... and he wasn't looking at us, was he?"

"The figure was peering to the construction," Yuki told them, and then he too gasped, "would it be correct to assume he plans to move against the event?"

"Why?" Dipper asked the two of them, "he said he does stuff for power. Why would he attack a town holiday? Just to spark fear or something?"

"I don't know," Mabel waved out her hands, and accidentally smacked someone in the face as they left the Library, who shrieked and dropped a pair of books in her arms. "Oh! I'm so sorry-"

"OW! CAREFUL!" Pacifica Northwest shouted as she held her face in her hands, and then adjusted her nose carefully before peering at Mabel, "oh... it's _you_ again."

"Are you okay? I didn't discombobulate you, did I?" Mabel asked worriedly. Pacifica scoffed and lowered herself to pick up her books, and Mabel lowered herself as well, grasping the one closest to her. "Wow, management and people handling, huh?" Mabel asked as she read the book before Pacifica snatched it from her hands.

"Part of being a Northwest is responsibility. I'm partially responsible for putting up this talent show, so I'd appreciate if you losers could please stop running into me!" she snapped.

"It was a honest mistake, ma'am," Yuki quickly put it calmly, "Mabel meant no offense."

"I..." Pacifica looked to Yuki, who then worriedly held onto his hat," who are you supposed to be?"

"I am Uki-Dohth," Yuki said with a tiny gulp in his throat.

"What are you, Japanese or something?" she asked him.

"Uh... I am not from around here, no," Yuki slowly said, looking to Dipper and Mabel first, and they nodded.

"Whatever. Tell Mabel and Dipper to just stay out of my way, if you could, thanks, bye now," she grumbled and walked alone past Dipper. Mabel shook her head, but then gasped, and followed her briefly.

"Pacifica!" she shouted, catching the blond's attention yet again, who whipped around to face her, glowering, "You do remember us!"

"Excuse me?" the rich blond asked.

"I never said Dipper's name when we met over by the stage," Mabel cleverly told her.

Pacifica blinked, her mouth half open as she stared at the brunette. Dipper chuckled, and even nudged Mabel's shoulder in a congratulatory acknowledgement. Apparently, this put a high amount of strain on Pacifica's interest to turn around and leave them, as she turned half way to retreat, but stopped. She did turn back to them, but then stormed over to them angrily.

"You two should not have come back!" she hissed to them both in a quiet tone. "Why couldn't you have just stayed out of Gravity Falls, huh!?"

"Wh-what?!" the twins demanded of her.

"Puh-lease," Pacifica snorted, "you two are the epitome of trouble. I don't know how, or why, or... or ANYTHING about what causes it, but when you two show up, weird things start happening!" she accused, pointing at Mabel, "the last time we were together- you remember what happened!"

"Is that why you lied?" Mabel asked timidly. Pacifica laughed and back up.

"Oh, sorry," she sardonically said, "since the last time we hung out my life was on the line, I should automatically want to hang out with you? NO!" she shouted.

"We're not creating anything weird," Dipper defended his sister quickly.

"Right, sure," Pacifica nodded while glaring at him.

"We just happen to notice the stuff you 'simple folk' can't pick up," Dipper put accented fingers on the worlds simple folk, and Pacifica tensed up and her nostrils flared. "Sorry if we open your eyes once in a while to problems you can't just fix with money!"

"Ha, that's funny," Pacifica leered at Dipper, "tell me, how's that nerd-life going for you? Dating? No? Lonely at night still?" Dipper's cheeks went red and he clenched his fists.

"Yeah, you look like you're just brimming with guy love," Dipper growled at her through clenched teeth.

"Being actually good looking helps," Pacifica easily told him, and Dipper laughed bitterly.

"It must be nice to know that all you have to do is show up to a talent show and pay everyone under the table to get the trophy," he said.

"Not that I couldn't," Pacifica told him, "but I won't need to. I, unlike yourself, am talented at things people _actually_ like."

"So you are going to compete?" Mabel asked, trying to diffuse the heated exchange between her brother and Pacifica. "What are you going to do?"

"Mind your own business," she snapped at Mabel, who frowned.

"Oh, c'mon Pacifica, lighten up," Mabel sighed, "I'm just asking."

"She wouldn't tell," Dipper added, catching their eyes, "probably something she's embarrassed about." To Dipper's credit, his reverse psychology worked wonders; her face grew slightly red and she seemed to almost let off steam.

"I will be doing a dance number with my dog to a song while I play that song on the flute," she said in a forcibly level way.

"Awww!" Mabel said, tapping Dipper's shoulder, "C'mon, that's kind of cute!"

"You have trained a canine to perform choreographed steps while you partake and perform the same piece?" Yuki inquired. Pacifica looked side to side, perhaps trying to take in everything he had said, and finally slowly nodded. "Interesting."

"Dipper and I are-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Pacifica stepped closer, glancing between them, "you two aren't _actually_ going to be in the competition, are you?"

"Uh... yeah?" Mabel said worriedly. Pacifica dropped her books and quickly reached inside a pocket. Without s second to spare, she threw at them fifty dollars each. "Whaaaat? What's this all for?" Mabel stared at the blonde girl as she held up the two impressive dollar bills, and Pacifica then pointed a finger at them.

"If you two join, I _know_ something stupid, or crazy, or insane will happen and the talent show will be ruined!" she shouted, "It's my responsibility to put it up, and I don't need you two coming over to destroy it! Consider this a bribe to stay the heck away."

"What makes you think we bring crazy stuff around with us?" Dipper demanded of her, and spotted something sticking out from her back pocket, "what's that you have there?"

"A flute," she groaned, and whipped it around. The flute was dark and polished, with sort of marble like texture about it. "I needed something more flashy, so I found this guy selling this antique flute. Is there a problem? Was your dad killed by a flute?" she mocked Dipper, who scowled at her.

"I bet you're terrible at it," Dipper retorted. Pacifica laughed, and placed it to her lips, and blew air. To Dipper's disappointment but Mabel and Yuki's shock, a beautiful line of music flowed from the end of the flute. People in the street actually stopped as Pacifica played her instrument, swaying back and forth as she played the music with the flute and she closed her eyes. She almost seemed at peace, and even Dipper couldn't help but appreciate how good she was. It was so seamless, note to note.

It wasn't until a few moments later when Pacifica looked down and screamed, almost dropping her flute and leapt up into the air a good three feet. A horde of spiders had begun to crawl their way to her, almost started climbing on her boots. In an embarrassed rage, she stomped her foot again and again on the ground, scattering the fleeing spiders back to the shadows.

"Careful!" Yuki shouted, "you could kill them!"

"That's the idea!" she shouted as the last of them scattered. Her hair had become slightly more wild as she halted, breathing heavily and glaring at the twins, who looked just as shocked at the appearance of the spiders as she had. "SEE!?" she roared at them, "Weird stuff!"

"Right, because we totally just made a thousand spiders show up, and it wasn't your playing the music..." Dipper pointed out to her, but Pacifica snorted.

"How does that make sense?!" she demanded, "music is nice, but it doesn't charm animals!"

"Unless... the flute is enchanted," Mabel looked to Dipper slowly, who gasped and nodded. He then turned to Pacifica, having lost his need to argue with her.

"Where did you get the flute?" he quickly demanded.

"I bought it, duh," Pacifica quickly placed it away. "It's supposed to be really good."

"Who did you buy it off of?" Dipper tried again.

"Why-"

"Pacifica, was it a guy? Just a little older than us?" Mabel tried, but the blue eyed blond rolled her eyes. "Did he have a stutter?" Mabel asked as well, and Pacifica gasped, bent down to pick up her books, and stormed away. "Wait! Pacifica!" Mabel tried again, but the blond was leaving them too quickly. "Shootles!"

"Okay, it's totally the warlock she got the flute from. I'm just assuming here," Dpper turned to the two of them, "but she ran away as soon as we mentioned the stutter. Do you think he sold her that flute?" Dipper asked the other two.

"Yeah! If he wants to cause fear, what if he put a spell on it?" Mabel gasped as she looked around.

"It would appear that small spiders are drawn to the music," Yuki noted as the twins looked around, "if she were to go on stage, and played the flute so consistently, it is feasible to predict a swarm of spiders appear amidst the crowd."

"So... he sold a flute to her... so the town got freaked out by the spiders?" Dipper asked the other two, shaking his head. "That doesn't seem right. He sent a Tulpa after us. That could have turned into a dinosaur for all we knew and it would have killed us."

"And you said it earlier dude," Mabel pointed out to Dipper, "he wants power, right? Some crazy teenager mad-power-trip. Fiddlesticks!" she declared, "it doesn't make sense!"

"Yuki," Dipper turned to their friend, "you're done here, right?" Dipper asked. The Alien nodded, and he sighed. "I think we should go back to the Manor: tell everyone what we think. Mabel," Dipper looked to his sister, "you're thinking what I'm thinking right?"

She nodded. "No bribe," she and Dipper handed the money to Yuki, who eyed the money with contempt, "we're going to that talent show."

* * *

NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!

PACIFICA NORTHWEST! -_VS-_ MABEL &amp; DIPPER PINES!

BEGIN!

Okay, no, no, that's not going to happen. Eh. Yet? Maybe? I dunno.

But there you guys are! The Gravity Falls Talent Show! You guys all had some interesting bets as to what Bragging Rights were all about, but I got very few 'the twins work together' guesses. Glad I can keep you all on your toes.

For the most part... ;)

But that's all for this week! Next time we get to see the twins in action, Soos perform his own bit of talent, some of the outrageous things people in Gravity Falls can do, and, of course, what is coming to miss Pacifica Northwest.

Now, for my dramatic exit. Ahem. EAGLE! (A powerful cry of an eagle echoes through EZB's room, and he looks up to the ceiling, expecting a humongous bird to swoop in and carry him away. Nothing happens.) Huh. EAGLE! (Still nothing.) Uh... Eagles? (The entire American Football team of the Philadelphia Eagles charge through the walls and tackle EZB, burying him under the colossal weight of many burly men.)


	26. Bragging Rights: Part 2

"One more time!"

"This... is... a lot..."

"ONE MORE! ONE MORE!"

Dipper grunted, pushed his feet into the grass earth below him and lifted himself into the air. With a twist and a flip of his leg, he kicked at the make-shift target Grenda held above her head for him. Dipper slapped the boxing target away, and landed as best he could, sweating and panting as he held his arms out, demanding balance.

"Yeah!" Grenda cheered with Mabel, hollering as Dipper recovered slowly.

"There, ten times. Can I please get a break?" Dipper begged. Before either could ask, he sat down on the grass, and found himself staring up at the three girls, and Yuki, who held a notepad, which he scribbled down something on an unseen paper.

"Dipper," Mabel walked from Grenda and Candy, who gave each other a high five with their target gloves, "we have to make sure we're ready for tomorrow!"

"I know that," Dipper panted, laying back, "I know this is your thing, but I'm exhausted."

"Pain is weakness just crying that your beating it down with awesomeness," Mabel told Dipper easily and calmly, and he eyed his sister. His pleading look did not go unnoticed by Mabel. "I know dude," She sat down next to him, leaning on her knees, "but you're doing super well! I'm so surprised you're learning this fast."

"Always surprised," Dipper groaned, but his mouth failed his desire to guilt his sister, and a smile battled its way out. "I'm not that good."

"Oh stop it," she told him, gently bobbing his head with a fist," you're being stupid if you think that. You just did a spinning high-kick! Ten times!"

"You could do that without thinking," Dipper said.

"Well duh, I've been doing it for two years! Pfft," Mabel rolled her eyes, "you just want to have me keep telling you that you're making progress. Like a doofus."

"It's your turn anyway," Dipper told his sister, refusing to stand back up. "I'm done for now."

"Fine, dopey-dip," she signed and got back up to face her rough-housing friends. "Grenda! High as you can make it!"

"Play the rocky music!" Grenda shouted. Candy, next to her, began to beat-box the Rocky Balboa theme, as Mabel committed a seriously impressive leap, flip and kick all at the same time, and then repeated the process.

Dipper watched, a smile on his face. She was right. He had made progress. Almost a month since they arrived had gone by, and already he knew, with her constantly demanding of his training with hers, how to flip himself in mid air. That was impressive enough for him to have a heck of an ego boost. Not that he would use that to boast- surely not.

He gave their final idea for the talent show a think-through. Dipper had a simple equation that the audience would provide the numbers for. When they gave the numbers, they would have eleven padded signs to hit on a post, each one higher than the next. It was inverse; nine would be a simple punch, while zero and the single needed period for decimals was at the top together. Soos had promised, with a little help from Yuki, who claimed this would be easy to set up, that they would be able to build it for the following day. Until then, the two just needed to keep practicing their technique. For Mabel, this was just a warm up.

"Dipper," Yuki's voice called him out of his thoughts, "should the audience comply with your pre-requisites, there should only be the eleven triggers needed. If you could please have a limit to the numerical suggestions, that would reduce the size of your monitor."

"Two digits only," Dipper told him simply," should give us something to work with without being too complicated."

"A wise choice," Yuki grinned, and added some notation to his pad, "I had worried that we would attempt a task to high to accomplish in the time allotted."

"Hey, they say less can be more," Dipper shrugged, and Yuki laughed. "Have you heard that expression before?"

"No! But I appreciate and agree with it," Yuki told him, coming to stand next to him, and join him as they watched his sister continue to leap to Candy's tunes. "I sometimes fear that all humans think along the lines of your Grand Uncle and Pacifica."

"What?" Dipper looked up to the alien, who was poking at chin worriedly.

"I, well, have noticed his tendencies towards simple monetary gain," Yuki explain quietly, "and as he is your elder, I... worry that he will leave such an imprint upon you."

"You think I'm going to grow up to be selfish?" Dipper asked pointedly, and Yuki looked quickly to him.

"No... I suppose not... well," he sighed, and sat down, "I have only had several years to study humans. I've seen a pattern, much as any species which requires parental development: the young look to the elders. And... well, after witnessing the attempts a Pacifica Northwest at bribing you and your sister-"

"They were just attempts," Dipper reminded Yuki, who nodded.

"I do not seek to explain that you are corrupt, nor do I believe in any sense that is the case. I simply worry that if someone so young can be so... influenced as her... do you understand?" Yuki sighed frustrated.

Dipper sighed and nodded. "We're not Pacifica, buddy," he told Yuki.

"Why is she so designed against you?" Yuki inquired, "I have yet to find any un-redeemable qualities about the two of you."

"We have history together," Dipper sighed. "Mabel and her had sort of a competitive thing going on last time we were hear. She's just as rude and inconsiderate as ever, and I think Mabel kind of hoped that she would have been nice since last time."

"But you have not answered-"

"She's got a super rich family," Dipper told him, "and is a spoiled brat."

"Ah, monetary gain again," Yuki sighed and stood back up, "it is such an unfortunate thing- to be driven to naught but the consumption of material."

"Humans can make it work somehow," Dipper told Yuki, who nodded.

"I suppose. I shall inform Soos of the requirements and begin working on them. Good luck training my friend," Yuki nodded to Dipper and turned. Dipper snickered and looked back to his sister. Yuki, formal and polite as ever.

"Forty five!" Grenda shouted as Mabel flipped one last time, and landed, sweat falling from her chin.

"WOOHOO! SWEATY GROUP HUG!" Mabel shouted and rushed forward to her friends for a jumping hug as the three of them bounced.

"I am quite pleased to see you skills in person," Candy adjusted her glasses, wiping off some of Mabel's sweat from the rims, "they are something to aspire to."

"Ahhh, knock it off you," Mabel shook her hand in the air, waving away the received gifts of flattery.

"Mabel," Grenda leaned in closer to the three of them, eyeing the retreating figure with darker skin, "you gotta let us on in the new worker."

"I told you, that's Yuki," Mabel explained easily, "he's an alien who got stranded here saving the town from non-existence or something like that."

"Yeah, but what does he like to do?" Grenda asked, grinning as she looked past Mabel, "and does he like wrestling?"

"I don't think so," Mabel told her with a shaking of her head. "He's kind of anti-violence and stuff. At least unless he has no choice. He once punched a giant cat-man."

"Then he is very smart for our standards?" Candy inquired, also peering past Mabel as Yuki entered the gift shop.

"Yeah," Dipper had stood up, and approached the three, "he was a scientist for his race. He was dealing with technology that surpassed ours so much it was scary. They found ways of isolating a bubble of reality, and could actually move that bubble around wherever they like."

"Uh... that sounds super sciency," Grenda nodded, and looked to her dark-haired companion, "science-y, right?"

"Very science-y," Candy nodded.

"Why are you guys interested?" Mabel asked, "want me to ask him to hang out? He would probably learn more about being human-like if he hung out with us!"

"Sure! A cutie like that can totally be around us!" Grenda grinned.

"A cutie?" Dipper snorted.

"What? Isn't he?" Grenda rounded on Dipper. Not flustered by Grenda's aggressive protection of Yuki, Dipper shook his head.

"He's like... eighty one years old or something," Dipper told them.

"WHAT!?" the two barked, and the twins laughed.

With only an hour more of training, the twins continued to hang out with Candy and Grenda, who begrudgingly denied the Mabel a chance to sleep over, as the twins would need their sleep. Indeed, aside from a brief chat with Wendy and Soos about the coming competition, the twins practically stormed to their rooms, and passed out on their beds. Lying on their beds, darkness soon took them, and their strange dreams danced inside their heads effortlessly.

* * *

Saturday morning was one of great anticipation. Dipper and Mabel were so energetic, it was hard to tell which twin was supposed to be the nutty one. Dipper was tapping his foot endlessly while he brushed his teeth, humming a tune to the most recent song he had heard- a beautiful violin cover from Linty Sireling. Mabel eventually caught onto the tune, and the two of them hummed it the entire time as they slowly grew prepared.

"And here you are!" Mabel tossed to him a robe approximately his size, of white with green blue rimming.

"Wait, but this is yours," he told her, holding it out to examine.

"Yeah, but we need matching clothes!" Mabel declared, "and I'm supposed to keep my robes with me when I practice. So you can use that older one, because I can use this one!" she declared, picking out the one Dipper had seen her use the most. It certainly had a decent amount of physical wear on it.

"I guess I can, you know, if you're okay with that," Dipper said, trying it on over his morning shirt. "Huh. Doesn't fit that badly," he admitted.

"Oh wow, the twins can fit in almost the same clothes?" Mabel gasped, rocking herself to the side dramatically, "oh, I never!"

"Shuddup," Dipper poked her nose and walked past her as she fell back onto her bed with a loud 'whoop'. Dipper checked himself out in the mirror, looking from side the side. The robe didn't look bad on him. He certainly felt a tad more martial with it on, like he had actually taken lessons or had training other than laps around a house and lots of kicking and punching training with his sister. "I could get used to this," Dipper admitted to himself.

"Well don't be wearing it downstairs!" Mabel called to him from the bedroom. He turned as the robe fell from his shoulders and he gathered it in his arms. "In the bag," she asked while holding up a large paper bag. "Thank you," she added as he promptly put it inside. Mabel began to collect the bag up and slip her own robe into it as well while Dipper sat on his bed. She only had to turn and spot him sitting down to know he was thinking of something again. His eyes were darker and more focused, and he pressed his folded fingers against his lips. "It's about the Warlock, isn't it?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded.

"Bro, I don't know what else we can do other than make sure we're there," she admitted sadly, "warning people never seems to work."

"I thought that maybe the cops would listen to you since they probably still think you have magical future seeing powers," Dipper argued, but shook his head, "but even if they did believe us, we don't know what he'll do or how."

"Or when!" Mabel added, "that's a big one too!" Dipper groaned and rubbed his brown hair through. Mabel shrugged, crossing over to sit with him. "Dipper, maybe it's out job to make sure he doesn't try anything."

"Huh?" he asked her.

"Well, last time he messed with us, he sent something after us instead of himself," Mabel explained, "and that sounds like a scardy cat if I've ever heard of one."

"You think if we just show up he won't be there?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah! Still," Mabel added, her own mind working hard as she thought, "I guess that doesn't mean that he couldn't, you know, try getting someone else to do his dirty work for him."

"Then this sucker," Dipper told her, as he walked over for the journal, "is coming too."

"So, to battle, my stalwart companion?" Mabel declared, lifting the bag in her arms and presenting an elbow for him to interlock.

"For justice, honor, and totally shoving to Pacifica!" Dipper declared, and the two of them, arm in arm, marched out of the room. Down the stairs they went, and found a quiet pair of adults they didn't recognize in the gift shop.

"Ah! There you are!" A loud, gruff voice called from behind the quiet duo. Grunkle Stan roughly pushed past the two of them, wearing his usual suit, bow-tie, and fez. "Hendricks, please, allow me to introduce my competing grand sort-of-children," Grunkle Stan declared, putting a hand on each of them, squeezing together.

"Hello," the adult couple said to the twins, who nodded back.

"They're great at kicking butts, and being athletic, terrifying teenagers who won't hesitate to pull out teeth if you look at them the wrong way!" Grunkle Stan lied quickly, "but don't worry! They only go crazy when I catch you trying to haggle with me! Ha!"

"Grunkle Stan, what are you-" Dipper looked behind himself to face the older man.

"They will be competing in the Annual Gravity Falls Talent Show!" Grunkle Stan added, "which is a great reason to stay an extra day and night! Remember, travel plans can come and go, but annual events only come... once a year," he told them ominously.

"Oh! That does sound like a good idea!" the man said to his apparent wife.

"What a wonderful suggestion," she said to Grunkle Stan, "book us for the rest of today and the evening, and we'll see this talent show."

"Excellent!" Grunkle Stan clapped his hands together loudly, stunning the twins as he walked around them, and he assisted the couple out the door, passing a smirking Wendy, leaning on the counter with her sack on her shoulder. "I'll be there to watch myself! Thank you!" As Grunkle Stan lead them out, he bolted back in and slammed the door, and hollered. "YES! Make that two nights!"

"Man, and I thought you got creative when you wanted to take the same gullible group through the exact same tour, but with different lightning," Wendy snorted at her boss as he retreated back to the middle of the shop.

"I had to stop doing that. It's too much attention when someone has a stroke due to strobe lights. Damn epileptics," Grunkle Stan grumbled, "ruining my career chances."

"You're actually going to be down at the competition?" Mabel demanded.

"Yeah! Being present when you two win, or Soos, I suppose," Grunkle Stan told them, "is instrumental towards my plan to attract six hundred percent more business!" he informed them. "See, all I have to do is make sure that when you win, I rush onto the stage, steal the microphone, and tell the whole town that they can find you at my shop! Easy as pie!"

"I think they'd kick you off stage if you did that, Stan," Wendy pointed out.

"As long as the good word of business opportunity gets going, it'll be worth it," he told them firmly.

"Okay man," Wendy shook her head slowly and took the seat behind the counter, "good luck you two," she said to the twins.

"Huh?" Dipper quietly grunted.

"Good luck? At the show?" she repeated.

"You're not coming Wendy?" Mabel asked sadly.

"No," Grunkle Stan turned to them, "since Yuki has decided that helping you two and Soos is more important than remaining a vigilant watchman here, I need someone here when I make my big announcement. Wendy said she can step in for him. So don't try roping her into this!" Grunkle Stan warned them. "Now, if you have everything, let's get down into town to win this thing and get me some business," he ordered as he turned, continuously adjusting his bow-tie.

"Yeah, sorry guys," Wendy apologized to two let down teens, "I needed some money for my phone."

"Wait, your dad doesn't pay for service?" Dipper asked as Wendy held out her phone.

"No. He thinks having a cell phone is for people not manly enough to shout across the state to talk to one another," Wendy rolled her eyes, "or using seismic vibrations to communicate."

"To be fair, that does sound super manly," Mabel shrugged, "well, at least you'll have a nice, quiet evening to yourself!" she told Wendy, who smiled lightly back.

"Yeah. Aught to be fun, right?" Wendy asked to Dipper. He forced a smile to his face, and as Mabel lead the way out of the building, the weight in his chest building as he left her behind.

"C'mon buddy," Mabel put an arm around her shoulder as they left the gift shop, Dipper's clearly distraught face plain to read for his sister. "She'll be there when we get back, won't she?"

"So much for getting a chance to show off," Dipper sighed.

There was little that Mabel could do in her attempts to shed Dipper from his melancholy. Grunkle Stan opted to drive them to the town, as he seemed excited for his various planned opportunities of profit and exploitation. Mabel did a great job of shielding the gloomy Dipper from most of the jives and teases Grunkle Stan had. It was mostly just her and the old con-man, chatting and joking together as Dipper grumbled quietly to the side.

Arriving to the show, the sigh of the crowd shocked the twins. This was just as crowded, if not more so, than the previous pioneer day. The streets were packed with excited on-lookers as the last bits of the stage and the entire presentation were set up. Grunkle Stan sighed and parked the car next to Soos's, a street away from the center of all the attention.

"Okay you two gremlins, make sure to make everyone super impressed with your amazingness. No holding back!" Grunkle Stan ordered to them.

"We got it," Dipper grumbled as he pushed himself out the car, still mildly moody his crush wasn't here to see his triumph. Behind him, Mabel shrugged and followed her brother out.

"Hey!"

The twins turned around to see their Grand Uncle pulling himself out, and smiling to them at his kindest.

"Knock 'em dead you two."

Dipper blinked and nodded back, allowing himself to feel slightly better, if not just for the fact that even under his schemes, Grunkle Stan was still there for them. Mabel gave a war cry fit for a warrior princess, and waved back to Grunkle Stan, and pulled Dipper ahead.

Through the crowds and the other soon-to-be competitors, the twins bobbed and weaved, almost a pre-show warm up for the two of them. Without running into a single person, they finally made it to the sign up booth, near the stage. A man on stage was pacing back on forth, with smooth blond slicked back hair. He read from a small past card in his hand as he mouthed words again and again.

"Next!" someone shouted, and the twins advanced, passing by what looked like Toby Determined in a pin-stripe outfit with suspenders.

"Pine Twins," Dipper announced as they approached the table, with the same two bored and frustrated looking employees staring at them, "Combat-Mathematics?"

"Yeah. Sigh here," the woman nodded and pushed her already lying hand across the large paper, and pointed to the sign. Dipper and Mabel found their imprinted names and sighed. "Thank you. You can wait behind the stage to prepare. You're second to last."

"Aww, nuts!" Mabel pouted, but Dipper laughed and nodded.

"Thanks," he told them, and pulled Mabel away with her paper bag.

"We're almost last?" she asked her brother, "how lame is that?"

"Well, it either means we get to see how lame our stuff is in comparison to literally the entire town," Dipper groaned, but patted his sister's back, "or we wrap the show up with the absolute best there is!"

"Ah, YEAH BRO-BRO!" Mabel shouted, and leapt up to a high fiver with as they rounded the corner.

"Hey!" Still in high five, the two landed and looked ahead. A scowl as clear as the sun in the cloudless day, Pacifica glared at them, her fists clenched and her blue eyes glued on the twins. She was wearing a very elaborate and quite beautiful dress with slits on the sides, and a matching top that perfectly conformed into an ideal dancing costume. "What the _heck_ are you two doing here!?"

"Pacifica!" Mabel ran up to her, and held her hand up, "up top!" Pacifica stared at her, crossing her arms. "Up... top!" Mabel tried again. The blond continued to watch her. "Is this another one of those things you don't know how to do? You know, high five?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"I warned you two not to come here!" Pacifica reprimanded them loudly, her shouts catching the attention of some of the other competitors. "The heck- I even paid you two to leave!"

"Yeah, we didn't take the money," Dipper walked up to Mabel, picking at his finger nail easily, exemplifying his disregard for her. "We're going to be part of this competition. It's our right to be here."

"It's your right!?" Pacifica yelled, and then pulled her hair and spun around, "god! You two," she pointed at them, "I better not see you again, or I'll have you personally escorted out! BY FORCE," she added dangerously.

"Yeah right," Mabel waved a hand at her, "I know you really wouldn't do that," Mabel patted Pacifica's shoulder and then leaned on her, "you're just mad because we have soo much to catch up on and-"

"E-excuse me!?" Pacifica shoved away Mabel quickly.

"Well, yeah," Mabel said pleasantly, "you remember me, so... you know, we can catch up and be friends. Right?" Mabel tried using her best diplomacy with a grand smile.

"Okay, Mable," Pacifica stepped closer, her voice quieter as she grew closer, "I want you to get this straight, got it?" Mabel nodded and watched her carefully. "We're not friends. I don't want to be your friend. You're going to ruin this show, and I'll have to deal with it all!" Pacifica warned them.

"You sure that won't be your crazy spider-summoning flute?" Dipper reminded her.

"I've taken extra precautions against that," Pacifica told them firmly, and pointed to an open box, to which the side read 'insecticide'. "There shouldn't be an insect around here to crawl on my shoes, or in your big mouth for that matter," Pacifica snorted at Dipper, who scowled back.

"Pacifica, I promise we're not going to cause anything," Mabel asked the blonde, "just let us compete? Please?"

"I already told you," Pacifica barely gave Mabel a look before turning away and flipping her hair into Mabel's face, "next time I'm back here, I want you two gone."

"But if the-"

"That's my warning!" Pacifica continued away, pacing herself to leave hurriedly. "Get lost!"

"God she's such a snot," Dipper barked angrily. Mabel nodded and huffed.

"It's not like we're actually going to try messing with anything," Mabel told him, "I mean, when have we ever tried getting in her way with stuff?"

"I'm actually sure it's the opposite," Dipper told her, "she's gotten in our way more than she has us."

"What a poo-face," Mabel quietly grumbled. Dipper blinked and scoffed.

"Wow. She really upset you," he said. Mabel looked to him angrily and nodded. "Still was holding out for her?"

"I guess sometimes you just have to let someone go," Mabel sighed and continued on past a group of worried looking goats tied to a stake. Dipper self-inflected for a moment, wondering if Mabel had meant any of that to him, but shrugged and continued on.

"Hey you dudes," a voice called to them once they passed the goats.

"Soos!"

"Yup!" Soos waved to them over from a table, where he had laid out his tools, varying from large to small, and a single electronic keyboard. "And Yuki!" Soos pointed to the side, where the alien was examining a water fountain worriedly. Hey, Yuki?" Soos called over.

"... ah!" Yuki barked as he pushed down the nozzel, and water came out, "but... there is no guarantee that this source of water is fresh or clean of pathogens! On what terms would a human being drink from this!?" Yuki demanded. "Surely only the most desperate-"

"Excuuuuse meee," a short man, Toby Determined walked past him and took a sip form the water fountain. Yuki looked repulsed and horrified as the man slurped from the water.

"Barbaric," Yuki quietly grunted.

"Well, I guess you can talk to him later," Soos shrugged and looked back to the twins, "so, you guys ready to have a crazy time out there?"

"If we can," Mabel addmitted.

"Uh oh, some strange mystery calling you away?" Soos asked, leaning across the table closer to them, lowering his voice to deny the closest sharers of the space, the goats, the ability to hear them.

"No, just some jerk blonde girl who thinks she can rule the world," Dipper stated.

"Wow, that's a heck of a mystery," Soos scratched his head.

"No, it's just Pacifica," Mabel told Soos. "She thinks we're going to ruin the competition if we join."

"It's like she thinks weird things just gravitate around us," Dipper admitted.

"Gravity is just a theory! Gravitate that!" Old Man McGucket cried from past a fence behind Soos, holding himself up along the edge of the fence, his long bulbous nose poking out from the edge. "It makes you think if meteorites just have the ideas in their heads to hit the ground whenever they feel like it, don't it?"

"Hi Fiddleford!" Mabel waved to the old man.

"Who's Fiddleford?" Dipper asked.

"That's his name, doofus," Mabel told Dipper, "remember? His full name?"

"Oh... right," Dipper scratched his head, worried Mabel had actually been able to recall something he could not. "What are you doing here McGucket?"

"I'm here to show of my amazing skills to the world!" McGucket told them, leaping off the fence and next to Soos, "excuse me, strange squishy man of tallness," McGucket told Soos as he reached over to the tools.

"Haha, I am kind of squishy, aren't I?" Soos chuckled as he pocked his belly. "Nice and winter ready."

"You aren't going to build a giant death robot on stage, are you?" Dipper asked McGucket worriedly, "or some kind of shrink ray that will turn the audience into the size of an ant?"

"No! I'm going to dance!" McGucket declared as he rattled a screwdriver and a wrench together to produce a clickety-clackety tune to which he jigged. As he giggled and cackled madly, he then paused, his crooked eyes pondering. "Athough come to think of it, maybe that's a good-"

"Dancing is a fantastic idea!" the three of them told McGucket.

"Well I'll be!" McGucket put down the tools and let a single tear fall down and out from his eye, "I'd never think the day this old coot would receive such a welcome response from yon' younger folk! C'mere yall!" McGucket then reached around and hugged the three of them and then wandered off, gibbering and humming to himself. As he left, Yuki returned, still trembling.

"Did thee three know of the mystery of water fountains? What vile conundrums they are," Yuki shook visibly, and then heard McGucket trip over a goat as he wandered away. "Ah... that would be the elderly man in the abandoned scrap metal section of town, if I remember correctly."

"Fiddleford McGucket," Dipper told him, and then looked to Mabel, "seriously, how did you remember the name 'Fiddleford'?"

"I like the name! It's lovely," she told him happily.

"It's a pretty rad name if you ask me," Soos piped in and turned to Yuki, who was busy watching the goats chew on McGucket's beard, "right bud?"

"Pardon?" he asked Soos.

"Exactly!" Soos nodded to the twins, "everyone likes the name."

"So, you guys have our gear all set up and stuff?" Dipper asked Soos.

"Ah yeah dude, check it out," Soos told them. From under the table, Soos pulled and and lifted vertical. There were two pieces, and with a grunt, Soos lifted the larger, and more complicated one onto the stand. "So, each of these targets," Soos pointed to the targets in question, each one growing higher and higher and were crudely painted with a number or symbol on it, "you can hit like this, "Soos slapped the one right at his waist level, and it spun around the pole on a metal arm, "and look at the top, " Soos pointed to the top, where the number one appeared, "boom. You got yourself a number, bro."

"Cool!" Mabel gasped.

"How do we clear the board of numbers?" Dipper asked them both. Yuki moved closer.

"The pedal located here," he pointed to the base of the thick and heavy looking platform, "will erase all symbols present on the board. After your leaping through the air, I believed it was instrumental that wiping the measurements should be easy."

"So we just stomp it-" Mabel began.

"Press gently, please," Yuki told Mabel.

"To clear the numbers?" she continued. The two before the twins nodded. "Sweeeet."

"So Soos, what are you going to do?" Dipper asked.

"Aw, I'm going to be bringing my long time popular internet series to the stage!" Soos told the twins.

"Your _what_!?" the gasped.

"Fixin' It With Soos!" Soos declared, proudly crossing his arms, "with the help of Melony's editing tips, I was able to firmly get over a thousand views! Pretty crazy, huh?" Soos asked them.

"Oh... just a thousand?" Dipper asked.

"Oh yeah buddy! I'm at one thousand, one hundred and two. Pretty nuts-o, huh?" Soos asked around.

"Indeed!" Yuki acknowledged his accomplishment. "You have effectively had the entire population of Gravity Falls watch your series."

"First the town, then Oregon, then the world!" Soos declared proudly.

"We will begin the show shortly. Could contestants pleased be prepared for their calling, and line up by the entrance please," the bored voice of one of the announcers called around.

"Whoa, time to go!" Soos said, grabbing all his tools and his keyboard, and also grabbing below him a boombox. "I'll catch you guys later! Good luck!"

"Good luck Soos!" the twins and Yuki shouted back.

"He must be soon if he's going up already," Mabel stated.

"He is third in line," Yuki told them, "he was quite excited to participate, as would be expected consider he told me that he was here the moment they allowed sign up."

"Wow," Mabel nodded, and then bounced into the air, "hey! Let's go watch the opening! We can see it from the side over there!" she pointed to the other side of the stage, as the growing noise of a gathering crowd echoed to them.

The three of them hurried over, Mabel bounding over with her paper bag rocking back and forth. Once the three could lean around the side of the stage, they found an impressive display of the entire towns population. Directly before the stage, sitting on a table were three judges, each of them well dressed and particularly snobby looking. Hundreds of people were standing and watching as Pacifica Northwest marched out on stage with the announcer, the blond man with the slicked back hair.

"Hello Gravity Falls!" Pacifica called into the microphone, her voice rocking the air around them proudly and enthusiastically. "Welcome to your second Annual Talent Show Competition!" the crowd roared and hooted, calling up to Pacifica with fervor. "Alright folks, let's calm down. We have plenty of talented people excited to show you what they got. Are you excited?" She called, and the crowd replied in kind. "Great to hear it! Enough with me. As much as everyone loves me, I think it's about time I handed over the show to the one and only, Ray Oceancrest!"

"Thank you Pacifica!" Ray Oceancrest called to her, as she waved and started walking off stage, towards the twins. The gasped and ducked behind the edge, leaving an awestruck Yuki to watch the events outside unfold.

"Hey," Pacifica called once she was off the stage, catching Yuki's attention, "you, I saw you yesterday, didn't I?"

"Yes," he responded curtly, "I'm Uki-Dohth," he told her.

"Oh yeah, that Japanese person or something. You're friends with Dipper and Mabel, right?" she asked him firmly.

"I am. They have done much to ensure my stay here has been pleasant," he informed her kindly.

"Whatever. Just tell them that I'll have them thrown out next time I see them, you got it? My guards won't mess around." From behind the stage, the twins gasped and looked to one another silently. She was deadly serious if she was talking about guards already. Yuki had also gasped.

"But why? They have not, to my understanding, done anything wrong to you or mistreated you in any way," he told her, "why act with such hostility?" Pacifica rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Look," she said, looking at his hat, "this isn't about making friends, this is about me ensuring this event stays normal and not weird in any way. Wherever those twins go, weird stuff happens. It's just how it works, and I don't care about it as long as they don't bring it here, now and while I have all the responsibility," she gritted her teeth, leaning into Yuki, who blinked worriedly. She stared strongly into his eyes for several moment and her face began to relax, and then she leaned back while adjusting her top briefly. "Well. Hope you enjoy the show, Uki-Dohth," she stated formally and turned away, walking past the hidden twins.

"As best as I can," he quietly replied, rubbing his head. As Pacifica walked distantly away, Dipper and Mabel re-emerged. "She is quite serious."

"Yeah, we caught on to that part," Dipper sarcastically told him. "So now she's actually going to try to throw us out? What the heck?!"

"She's going to cause more trouble by having us thrown out than just keeping us here, isn't she?" Mabel asked the two. The three shared a synchronous nod solemnly. "Well, Yuki, you can stay here and watch," Mabel told her friend, "but Dipper and I need to scout around first."

"Oh, right!" Dipper nodded.

"Very well. I will keep a watch for the figure in a hood," Yuki told them.

The twins grabbed hands, and Mabel lead the charge. Through the crowd they began to fan around, looking left and right for a single person in a cloak. It was rather easy in this day's temperature and weather if someone was wearing a hood- caps were the most common feature worn on the head, as the sun shone brightly and only the stage was shaded.

"I don't see him," Mabel admitted after a few minutes went by, the two ignoring the first two acts.

"Let's try over there," Dipper suggested, pointing away, on the side of the standing crowd they had come from. As they moved, a boombox on stage played a loud, cheesy, and excited song.

"Now pleaes, give it up for _Jesus Alzarimano Ramirez_!" the announcer declared.

"F-f-f-f-f-fixin' it with Soos!" the boombox roared into the crowd, Soos moon-walking onto stage as he carried his electronic keyboard on his shoulder, and a bag of tools in his hand. On the table of the boom box was a collection of scrap and material. Once Soos did a quick spin by the table, he flicked his thumb onto the stop button, and placed down the keyboard, and hit a few keys, playing the sounds of a man shouting 'yeah!', an explosion, and a tiger roar. The announcer looked startled, but clapped as enthusiastically as he could, walking away backwards.

"Whatup dudes!" Soos declared loudly. The audience cheered and Soos waved to them.

"Aww, I wish we could watch," Mabel whined as they continued to move about the crowd.

"So, this is my first ever 'live' version of Fixin' It With Soos! Starring me: Soos!" he shoved a thumb at himself. "So, what we've got here today, is a bunch of scrap," he pointed to the table. "It looks pretty useless, you would say. I would say, nay! Or, is it 'neigh', like a horse, you know?" Soos asked the crowd, who stared blankly back at him. "Huh. Probably questions better suited for philosophers. Anyway, what I'm going to do is let you tell me something I should build, and I build it! With this stuff!"

"So," Soos stepped to the edge of the stage," what should I build dudes? Any ideas?"

"Build a horse!" someone shouted from the crowd.

"A horse? Hmm," Soos puzzled with his hand at this chin, "a challenge. But No task is too great for the power of SOOS!" Soos declared loudly, then he bent backwards and pressed a key on the board, and a baby cried. "Ah, dang, wrong one," he tried again, and this time thunder boom around, "yes!"

"Can't we just watch him for a little bit?" Mabel pulled Dipper to a stop, "I mean, is it really likely that this guy is going to try something in like five minutes?"

"Mabel-"

"It's Soos!" Mabel told him with a gentle prod, "he'd do the same for us."

Dipper couldn't reply to that, as much as he wanted to. Indeed, his eyes turned towards one of their long-time friends who had they had the opportunity to cheer on and clap for. Dipper knew they had an important task, but their friendship was also a priority. Besides, had the Warlock wanted to attack at the beginning, it would probably already have happened.

"Okay, we can watch," Dipper signed and relaxed.

Soos's demonstration of construction was a enchantingly weird mix of his horrible catch-phrases and puns with actual construction method. Very quickly the mess on the table was changing into, somehow, a life-sized metallic horse. By the end of his ten minutes demonstration, Soos had made a clock-work horse, which at the end of his show, picking up the boombox and keyboard, he mounted the horse.

"Remember dudes, we always break stuff, and with the power of fixin' it, anything can be- WHOA!" Soos struggled to stay on as the horse suddenly bolted ahead, blazing a trail off the stage, passed a frightened Yuki, and through the wooden fence past him.

"Give it up for Mister Ramirez!" the announcer clapped as the cries for help from Soos grew further and further distant.

"Okay, let's go find loser pants and beat him up," Mabel turned to his brother.

"I hope we don't have to," Dipper told his sister, "this is a person with magic, remember?"

"Magic is nothing in comparison to reality! My fists, those are a reality he'll face soon," Mabel told Dipper, who chuckled.

For the next half our they passed back and forth, bouncing around the crowd, pushing through as silently as they could. More than once they passed by Grenda and Candy, happily cheering on for whoever was on stage. At one point, the twins got terribly distracted, when a line of goats were brought on stage and sang with their bleats the national anthem.

Yet there was still no sign of him. The warlock was either doing an impressive job at hiding himself, or he wasn't present this day. It was easy to count people out and see if they vaguely resembled their target. He was, after all, taller than them by a bit, and always had been spotted wearing that stupid hoodie.

"We're wrapping it up here, folks!" Ray Oceancrest announced happily, "talk about a line up of great people!"

"Oi!" someone called behind the twins, and they spun around instantly. Grunkle Stan was standing there, in the crowd, pushing his way over to them. "The heck are you two doing here?"

"That warlock jerk could be here!" Mabel announced. "We're going to find him!"

"Could be?" Stan asked with a tease of annoyance.

"We have good reason to believe that he sold Pacifica a cursed flute, and he'll be here to hurt people-" Dipper started, but Stan's mouth dropped open.

"You took it from her, right?!" he demanded of them. The twins exchanged slow look to one another, and Grunkle Stan barked loudly at them, "really!? _And_ you didn't tell me this either!?"

"We've got it under control!" Dipper told Stan loudly as someone took to the stage.

"Kids, you've got no time!" Stan told them," you're supposed to be up there, flattering these stupid shmucks so that when you win, I can get on stage and promote my business! You can't do that if you're down here!" He reminded them.

"This is more important than just a few bucks, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel declared. The old man scowled at her, and then threw his hands above him.

"Fine! I'll go look for this loser. You two get to your spots, got it!?" he demanded.

"But-"

"Go! I can handle some whiny eighteen year old on my own!" he told them as he pushed his way through the crowd. Dipper and Mabel watched him disappear, shoving his way though aggressively.

"Well, I guess it won't be that hard for him, right?" Mabel checked with Dipper as their elder vanished. "It's just a guy in a hoodie."

"I... I guess Grunkle Stan knows more about magic and stuff than we do. And he can punch stuff... let's just keep our ears open," Dipper told her as he nodded.

"Right, message received. Boop-Boop, transmitted," Mabel put her hands to her ears and acted like they were antennas. Dipper frowned at her, but the two did begin their return towards the stage.

"Thank you Blubs and Durland!" Ray Oceancrest declared, as the deputy and sheriff marched off stage, done with their synchronized dance and singing duet. "Now, we have another duo for you."

"Oh crud!" Mabel shouted as they barely passed Yuki, who had waved them over. "Our stuff!" The twins raced over to grab the heavy pieces to their performance.

"The Pine Twins!" Ray Oceancrest shouted as Dipper and Mabel barely made it to the edge of the stage, and carried up the electronic parts to their act. The announcer stepped aside, clapping for them along with the audience. By the side, Yuki was almost shoved aside by Pacifica.

"They're still here?" she barked angrily, catching Mabel's attention, who glanced behind her. "What the heck!"

"Yes, and they will be performing their act, as they wish," Yuki told Pacifica directly, who spun to him, breathing rapily. A poodle was at her side, sniffing Yuki with interesting. "Greetings again, Alphie," Yuki spoke to the dog.

"I- how do you know his name?" Pacifica demanded as she gently pulled her dog away from him. Yuki stumbled for words, having forgotten that no one knows he had cared for the animals in their stasis aboard his ship.

"Uh... your dog reminds myself of an Alphie I knew," Yuki stumbled as Pacifica stared at him.

"Hello Gravity Falls!" Dipper called loudly to the people. Mabel turned her attention from the side to the crowd, and put on her best smile.

"Howdy doodle poodle friends!" Mabel added on, giving a nice dramatic bow. "We're going to make something so totally boring way cooler than it should be- MATH!" she declared. The crowd began to murmur as Dipper nodded.

"That's right," he turned to Mabel, talking to her and the crowd at the same time, "a lot of people think Math is boring, even through it's used in every day life. So, we thought how else we could make it kind of interesting."

"WITH FREAKING AWESOME MARTIAL ARTS!" Mabel roared to the crowd, hands in the air, getting an enthusiastic reply. "WHOO! YEAH!"

"So, here's how this is going to work," Dipper stated aloud as Mabel went over and pulled up the top half of the instrument Soos and Yuki made, "we're going to ask for numbers. We have to hit these numbers," Dipper pointed to the numbers above him and next to him as he moved next to Mabel, "in order to answer a math problem you make up, and we have five seconds to solve it."

"Sound pretty math-like, huh?" Mabel nodded to the group, getting a few yes's and nods.

"So, uh, let's start," Dipper said to Mabel, who nodded excitedly. "My sister is going to go first. So, we get to start with one number- one hundred," Dipper told them, approaching the edge of the stage, "give us a number to add between one and a hundred." Among the cries, a voice piped up.

"Ninety-Eight!"

"Mabel," Dipper turned quickly. She had to act fast. Five seconds to punch out one hundred and nintey eight, but Mabel already knew that answer. With a grin, she punched at one, and then flipped into the air, and kicked out twice, hitting both nine and eight before landing on her feet. The crowd gasped and applauded when she moved forward punching the air excitedly.

"See? Math totally can be cool!" she shouted, "not just for dorks like Dipper!" she looked at her brother as he walked past her, preparing himself to do quick calculation and hit the correct number. He scowled at her and hit the peddle on the stand, erasing the number at the top. "So, give us number between ten and one hundred to subtract!" she demanded.

"Forty five!"

"Dipper!" Mabel spun as the crowd gasped. Dipper instantly knew the answer, and he struck at one, then kicked high and twisted his body to land his heel on five, and then he leapt up and punched three. One hundred and fifty three.

"Boom!" Dipper called out, and the crowd cheered. As he stepped up and exchanged glances with Mabel, he worried slightly next. This was were things got difficult. An addition, a subtraction, a multiplication, and a division. Mabel had to deal with a multiplication with more than two digits. Dipper wasn't sure how well she'd do here- five seconds wasn't a lot of time.

"I got it bro," she quietly said to him as they passed, and he smiled. He made sure to watch her as she walked over, and cleared the bar with a press of the pedal.

"Okay guys, part three. Give us a number to multiply between two and nine," he asked of the crowd.

"Five!"

Dipper groaned internally and quickly spun to Mabel. She still hadn't moved. She was frozen, her eyes moving back and forth between invisible numerals in her mind. One second had passed. She had four seconds to solve this problem and still hit the four numbers Dipper had already solved for her: one thousand three hundred and seventy seven. Three seconds.

"Mabel?" Dipper quickly said.

She burst into movement and struck them all; one, three, and then in a high leap she spun and whipped herself into a spin, hitting seven not once, but twice. She landed and turned, sweat on her face as she hollered back at the crowd.

"Math, suckas!" she declared, and looked to her brother, who was weakly smiling at her, "told you I had it," she winked. He snorted and walked past her to take the position, and he cleared the board one last time. "Okay guys!" Mabel called to the group, "one last number. This time, we're going to divide! So... another number between six and... twelve!"

"Seven!"

Mabel spun and Dipper's eyes widened. Five seconds, counting down. The math followed quickly, tracing the division of whatever he could, until he came across a relatively simple answer. Two hundred twenty nine point nine. Three seconds. That was five symbols he had to hit, two of which were the highest the past went to. He gulped. Two seconds remaining- now or never. Dipper punched twice rapidly, striking two in succession, and then he jumped and twisted himself as best he could. In a single, balanced kick, he struck nine and the period at the same time. He landed and then leapt up and punched five. It had been a risk to hit nine and the decimal point simultaneously, but it paid off. It read properly.

"YES!" Dipper shouted, shoving his hands into the air and running to his sister. She ran and they hugged as the crowd clapped and applauded. The two of them looked down to the judges, who were writing down notes or applauding with the crowd.

"That's all for now, folks!" Mabel cheered as she hung off Dipper's shoulders, and they both grabbed their parts of the pole.

"Thank you!" Dipper added as they left the stage, being applauded by Ray Oceancrest.

"Wow, folks! Talk about stiff competition!" he called around as the twins left the stage. Still clapping and beaming was Yuki, and a stiff but not ranging mad Pacifica.

"You two have performed far above adequately!" Yuki informed them taking away the halves of the device with his strength, and hugging them both, "I must say, you have done very well!"

"Aww, thanks Yuki," Mabel hugged back.

"Thanks man, Dipper patted his shoulder with a large smile. Dipper turned, ready to gloat to a blonde he was certain was staring at the three of them with her usual glare. "So, how about an apolo..."

Pacifica was already moving on stage with her dog when Dipper had turned, and the three of them watched, wondering what her performance would end up being.

"And our final show for the day, give it up for your host, Pacifica Northwest!" Ray bellowed triumphantly, as Pacifica took the stage with her dog. She removed the leash silently, and stood. Two flashes of light before her illuminated her and the poodle into dark blue. The crowd grew quiet as soft music began to drum on the speakers on the edges of the stage, and Pacifica reached behind her and removed the flute. With a twirl that would make any parade dancer proud, she spun it around her and laid it before her lips and stepped forward with her dog.

The two slowly stepped forward, step by step, as Pacifica played the flute along with the music. It was all instrumental, a tune that was somber, slow, almost sleepy. Sounding. Pacifica's actions and movement matched the song wonderfully, almost creating this hypnotizing effect as she mildly rocked back and forth between her steps.

Then the music, along with the lights and movement all picked up. Drums were added, and it became a merry jauntier tune. Pacifica and her dog bounded around the stage, still in synchronous choreography. Then Pacifica leaned backwards as the dog leapt over her and then she leapt backwards over the dog, who ran under her.

Dipper chuckled and Mabel actually laughed. It was cute. Charming. It was actually the exact kind of performance that Pacifica was saying she could put on all along. The twins would never have dared to give her any credit since she already boasted past her due, but she was really owning up the act. Yuki was clapping happily and laughing.

Dancing side by side, spinning in place, even doing a small tango bit together, the two really gave the competition another strong piece to consider. The crowd was in love, and the judges weren't even able to write down notes. Or at least, they weren't bothering to. If what the two by the side of the crowd had told Dipper and Mabel was true, they had no reason to take notes on Pacifica, as she was already the first place winner.

The flute had been playing for a few minutes when Mabel felt something on the ground. She looked down and saw nothing, and shrugged. Again, something underneath her foot distracted her. "Huh," she grunted as she lifted her foot and found nothing. Again, with the other foot, but Dipper gasped and looked down too. "You can feel that?" Mabel two looked to Yuki, who was looking to the sky.

"Something is amiss, my friends," Yuki told them.

Birds of all shapes and colors were flying away, crossing over the town in a hurried pace, squawking, chirping, and crying loudly. The twins stared skyward, and looked towards the source. Trees in the forest were being pushed aside, swaying around wildly.

"The speakers," Dipper turned to the speakers, "it's not just the recorder music it's playing-"

"They're also playing the music of the flute," Mabel chimed in. They turned towards the crowd, and there, pushing its way closer to the middle was a figure in a hood. "Dipper!"

"I know! We have to-"

The rumbling now was vibrating through the ground so heavily that the performance had come to a stand still. The crowd was worriedly looking around. "Earthquake!" Someone shouted, but as people began to try to run for cover, something massive burst its way through the curtains, tearing down half the stage and throwing the other half behind it.

A spider, almost fifteen feet higher and twenty five feet long had crawled its way from the deep woods of Gravity Falls and was now climbing its way to the stage, where Pacifica was screaming, her dog barking at the monstrous spider. If the crowd had been panicked by an earthquake, what fallowed was pandemonium.

"Don't hurt us!" Pacifica screamed as the spider slowly moved closer to her, backing her and the dog away. "Dad!? Mom?!" Pacifica called into the crowd, which was buzzing around so dizzily as people ran around no one could keep track of anything. "Someone!" Pacified cried aloud as she fell to her knees, holding her dog at her side. The spider watched her, clicking it's mandibles together as it crept closer.

"We're coming!" Mabel shouted.

"Dang it!" Dipper shouted as he followed suit, not willing to let anyone, even someone as annoying as Pacifica, be eaten by a giant spider. The spider saw them coming and hissed loudly, pushing itself higher and backing away. "How do we fight this thing!?" Dipper demanded of his sister as they stared down the face of an eight-eyed monster with sharp legs about ten feet in length each.

"Uh... you try punching it?" Mabel asked as she realized she too had no idea what she was going to do.

"Kids!" a voice from the crowd shouted, "look out!"

The twins turned. Running from the crowd to the center was Grunkle Stan, pointing to a figure rushing at them at a blistering speed. Hooded, the figure leapt so high into the air, it cleared over the spider by a good ten feet. The twins gasped as the person, still in motion, punched their hands past one another, and fire erupted around their arms. The spider never saw it coming as the landing person slammed a fist on top of it's head.

The gigantic arachnid screeched and fell. Pushing itself up again, while staggering the spider noticed the person land in front of it. The figure, kneeling, with burning arms, stood up fully, and slowly approached the spider, each step well placed and confident. The eight-eyed beast stabbed at her with one of its limbs, and the person knocked it aside with a kick, and then thrust its arm forward. Fire burst out in a jet, startling and terrifying the beast into a panic.

It screamed aloud, and made to bite the person. The person stepped forward and held its arms aloft, fire roaring into the air in an even louder roar that utterly defeated the spider's courage. The person stepped forward again, and yelled.

"LEAVE!" the person demanded, and the spider got the point. Skittering it's eight legs hurriedly, it climbed over the other side of the stage and began to disappear, screeching in fright as it retreated for the woods. Silence fell as the spider's steps faded, telling the crowd of it's disappearance. The hooded figure faced away, staring at a dropped flute. Then it noticed that their arms were on fire still, and hurriedly patted the flames out.

Dipper and Mabel stared. Someone literally just leapt from the crowd and thrown fire around on their arms and hands like... like magic. But it had chased the spider away, not attacked with it, or tried taming it as a mount- this person defended them. Dipper wanted to ask 'who are you?' but flurry of movement passed by them, and a man with graying hair and trimmed mustache approached the figure.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Presten Northwest had taken the stage. The figure turned just in time for him to grasp its arm and raise it high, "our Gravity Falls Talent Contest First Place Winner!"

The crowd, slowly emerging from the buildings and whatever little cover they could burst into an ear shattering roar of applause and cheers. Somewhere in that mix, Grunkle Stan screamed, "What?! NO! MY BUSINESS OPPERTUNITY!"

"What is your name?" Preston Northwest asked the hooded figure. The person turned their head to him, stammering.

"A-ah, it's Arline."

"Give a well deserved round of applause for ARLINE!" Preston Northwest stepped aside, but not before removing the hood of the woman. Golden hair fell behind her in a ponytail. The crowd screamed and chanted her name, and she just stood there, staring back at them awkwardly. Eventually she nodded to the crowd and started thanking them quietly.

Dipper gasped and laughed. "It wasn't him at all," he clapped his sister's back loudly as Pacifica got up with her dog and followed her father down the stage, "we had someone else in town who could help out all along! Cool! Mabel?" Dipper asked when Mabel said nothing. Then Dipper noticed her face. Her eyes were as wide as when she first saw Waddles. He mouth was as dropped down and out, and her face was pale.

"M-m-m-master?" Mabel asked.

Dipper followed suit, his mouth dropping and he stared at the woman before him. Mabel... had not exaggerated. The woman who was still thanking those for applauding her did indeed have golden hair, and great big blue eyes, and a fair complexion and was quite pretty, and still resembled Mabel to a certain degree. She wore gloves at the ends of her jacket's sleeves, where the fire had mildly singed her clothing.

This was the person that had shown Mabel how to fight?

The woman turned and approached the two, dusting off some of the ashes in the crevices of her clothing. Her eyes stared with a unrelenting strength at the two of them and stopped before them, and all Dipperg could do was gulp.

"Mabel," Arline started, her voice devoid of direct emotion. "You've been busy..."

"...Hi?" Mabel attempted, her voice squeaky. The woman before the two of them had her own lips tremble and a smile exploded out. She was laughing and she reached over and grasped Mabel, and locked her into a hug.

"You did amazing with that combat math bit!" Arline told her in the hug, and then pushed her away, "I was worried that when your dad said you wouldn't be coming back for a while that you were tired of me!"

"No way! It was just important I got up here as quickly as I could," Mabel explained, "see, I thought my grand uncle died, but it just turned out he was actually just a robot in disguised as him, and we had to rescue him from aliens!"

"... oh," Arline had stared at Mabel with a worried look, but finally leaned back and nodded, "I guess that is pretty important. Aliens, huh?" she looked to the two of them.

"Mabel's not lying. Real, humanoid, extraterrestrials," Dipper simply tacked on.

"So, you must be Dipper," Arline commented.

"Ah, yeah," Dipper nodded, eyeing his sister worriedly, "that's me."

"I've heard a whole lot about you," Arline told him with a grin. Dipper went to hold his hand out, but she stepped up and also hugged him too. "You're learning really quickly, you know that?" she told him as she backed off, "just like Mabel did."

"Oh. Thank you," Dipper grinned.

"But I'm sure you need to go celebrate with your friends, or make sure they didn't skip out of town when that spider showed up," Arline commented, looking to the still excited group.

"Oh!" Dipper tapped his sister's shoulder, "we do have someone we need to see!"

"Yeah, we do," Mabel nodded, and then waved to her master, "we'll be back in a bit! This is important!"

"Take your time," Arline called to them as they moved off stage and found Yuki, staring at the woman still.

"That is the master I heard of?" Yuki asked Mabel.

"Yeah. Yuki, where did Pacifica go?" Mabel quickly asked the Alien. He nodded, and pointed to the broken down sign Soos and his metal horse had raced through. There, the twins spotted Pacifica standing by her father as he stepped inside a well polished limousine with her dog. As they approached, they overheard them talking.

"But it wasn't my fault!" Pacifica told her father heatedly. "How could I have know a giant spider was going to crash the event?"

"Sounds like you didn't use enough insecticide," her father told her.

"But then-"

"Pacifica," her father told her, his voice as impressive as it was commanding, "this is your responsibility. You are in charge of this entire show, which means cleaning it up if it has failed. Next time, I won't be there to make sure people can spot the silver lining of having a true winner; that will be up to you. Now, go clean up your mess. We'll expect you home tonight, that is unless you can't clean this all up by then."

Without another word, her father closed the door, and the car drove away, leaving a perfectly rigid blond with frizzled hair. The air was tense, like it were charged with electricity. With a sudden burst of anger, Pacifica shouted and tossed the flute onto the ground. As it splintered, a hiss and puff of green smoke erupted from it, and Pacifica fell backwards.

The twins couldn't move forward. The teenager who had been willing to throw Dipper and Mabel out, who looked down on them at every chance she could, was tearing up next to the side walk, holding her palms to her eyes.

"They were right," she croaked softly and growled, "damn it."

Mabel leaned behind the fence and sighed, eyeing Dipper, who was looking back. They were technically in their rights to go out there and remind Pacifica that they had warned her about the Flute, and they wouldn't bring trouble. However, watching the girl loose control of her emotions, spirit of crushed girl who they knew to be if anything stubborn, was maybe justice enough for them if not, overkill.

"She did just want to put on a show," Mabel quietly told Dipper.

"Yeah, even if she was being stupid about it," he whispered back, and he sighed, "maybe we should just leave her alo-" Yuki strode past the two of them, heading right for Pacifica "Yuki! What are you doing?!"

The alien said nothing to them, striding past them to the sitting, sniffling girl. She heard someone coming, and stood quickly, wiping her face away.

"What!?" she barked before turning, but then saw the teen alien looking to her, "oh. Yes, uh, Uki-Dohth. I imagine you'd like an apology for the state of the show?" Pacifica nodded sadly. "I assure you, Northwest organized events never have this happen. Usually."

"No," Yuki told her, and looked back, "the transpired events were beyond your means of control. You took precautions against one form of arachnid, but not a gigantoid. A cryptid of such size and measurement was not to be expected."

"Ah... next time I guess we'll be ready for that," Pacifica shrugged.

"It matters not. I have not come to belittle you," he told her, and then held out his hand, "these are from myself, Dipper, and Mabel," he said as he gave back the two fifty dollar bills.

"I-I don't want the money," she told him, "Northwests don't have return policies on bribe- err, donations," she told him officially with a still sniffle. Yuki didn't move his hand away.

"It would be wrong for us to keep any form of payment for a task we neither followed nor intended to follow. Please," he asked her kindly, "take it back."

"But I'm giving it to you," Pacifica told him, "just take it!"

"If I am to take money from you, Miss Northwest," Yuki told her softly, "It will have been earned." Pacifica blinked. She reached over, as if to take the money, but then she scoffed and knocked away his hand.

"Earn it then. Go help my crew clean up the mess, and you've got the hundred," she told him plainly. Yuki looked to her, and nodded. He turned around walked past the section of the fence that the twins were still hiding behind. Yuki looked to them each, but continued by, walking towards the dispersing crowd, where workers were beginning to pack up and analyze the damage they needed to repair.

"You two," Pacifica called, making the twins jump, "fine. You want to hear it? Fine. You were right? Okay!" she barked at them.

"Are you okay?" Mabel finally turned around the fence, and Dipper begrudgingly followed.

"Sure, Pacifica Northwest, first time coordinator and manager of the Gravity Falls Talent Show Competition, just fine!" she said, pushing by the two of them, "I had one shot to prove that I could handle this on my own, and it's ruined. So, yeah," she continued angrily, with biting sarcasm, "I'm fine!"

"Pacifica, you could have been killed," Dipper reminded her, "but you're still okay. Same with your dog, and the people here."

"I don't care!" Pacifica turned towards them, "this was my chance to get my dad off my back! Now I... ugh!" she clenched her fists and stormed onwards.

"Wait, Pacifica!" Mabel called after her, and the Blond spun around once more listening and glaring at Mabel. "I'm... sorry we gave you a hard time, okay? We just wanted to have fun here, and make sure you're safe. We're sorry."

Pacifica stared at them, her expression growing softer, but still full of anger. A moment passed, but she nodded stiffly, and turned back, and hurried behind the stage, her now messy hair trailing behind her.

"This was just to get at her dad?" Dipper asked his sister, who turned around. "Maybe life as a Northwest isn't perfect after all."

"C'mon dude," Mabel patted his shoulder, "I think we made our point with her, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe next time she'll, you know, listen to us," Dipper sighed, getting the last of his pent up frustration out of his system. "Let's go talk to your master, or Arline? What do I call her?" he asked Mabel, who snickered.

"Until she starts teaching you, you can call her whatever you want," Mabel told him as they walked back to the front of the stage. Standing on the stage was Grunkle Stan, and sitting by the edge of the stairs was Arline.

"Remember folks!" Grunkle Stan called to the dispersing crowds," for more amazing math-related beatings, come to the Mystery Manor! HEY! I'M NOT DONE ADVERTISING!" Grunkle Stan roared, "YOU HEAR ME!?"

"Hey guys," Arline stood up and walked down the steps as they approached.

"Master, why are you even here?" Mabel asked, "you should be back in California!" Mabel declared.

"Well, without you being taught, I realized that I could go on a vacation myself. And you told me about this place," she said excitedly, "and wow! Giant spiders, big trees, mostly clean air? I love it already!" Arline told them, "I think I'll stay around for a bit."

"Oh really!?" Mabel excitedly jumped, "you want to stick around!?"

"Yeah!" Arline told them excitedly. "It could be fun."

"Well, as it turns out, we're staying at a motel of sorts," Dipper told her, "run by our Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan!" Dipper called over to the defeated, lonely man on the stage, who turned around and glared at the three of them, "this is Arline! She taught Mabel how to fight and wants to stay at the Mystery Manor."

"Oh, great," Grunkle Stan marched over, passing them in a huff, "let the one person who ruined my chance to sucker the entire town stay at the Manor? Great! Wonderful!" he grumbled and whined as he marched past.

"I didn't hear a no," Dipper shrugged.

"I did hear some issue though," Arline stated, "what's wrong?"

"Oh, that's just Grunkle Stan for you," Mabel waved her hand through the air, "C'mon! We can take you around town and then bring you over to the Manor!"

"Sounds fun to me!" Arline told them with a grasp of their shoulders. The three of them turned around and started walking down main street, passing by the construction workers and Yuki, who was easily holding ten times his weight in his arms, shocking people left and right. As the three continued down the street and Mabel started pointing out the various shops and businesses, a metallic horse zoomed by, with a screaming Soos desperately clinging on to its wire mane as 'Fixing It With Soos' still played on his boombox.

* * *

Bragging rights! Where in the end, no one really brags. Funny how that works, huh?

NEW PLAYER HAS ENTERED THE GAME: ARLINE.

Pretty crazy what she can do, isn't it? No, this isn't some weird cross-over with Avatar: The Last Airbender of Legend of Korra. There were people before that who could bend and warp elements. :p

And that's the first full episode with Pacifica. How'd you all like it? Hopefully it's another character I can write well enough for a passing grade. :)

So, next Episode is called "American Werewolf In Oregon" which comes close to "Totally Real Paranormal Ghost Shows" for longest title of an episode. I bet you guys can't guess what it's about! :O

So remember, apply bug spray, and I'll see you guys next- (the metal horse Soos made crashes through EZB's room, and tramples him and his computer under the stampede. Soos runs through the room after the horse.)

Soos: Sorry dawg! (he continues after the horse as EZB groans painfully, almost squashed flat.)

* * *

**23-8-1-20 23-1-19 16-1-3-9-6-9-3-1'19 6-1-22-15-18-9-20-5 3-15-12-15-18 1-7-1-9-14?**


	27. American Werewolf In Oregon: Part 1

Waddles the pig was in bliss. Should there have been a pig enjoyment-o-meter used to determine the total levels of fun a swine could experience, it would be hitting it's limits. The pink splotched animal was swaddling with Mabel and Arline, who had taken a fond love of the friendly and trusting animal. Outside in the grass the two of the laughed and played with the happy farm animal as it oinked and snorted at the two of them.

"He's exactly how you described him," Arline told Mabel with a stroke under Waddle's chin.

"Super awesome and totally chill," Mabel re-affirmed, leaning back to let her master give affections to him.

"Very cute," Arline grinned, patting his head and he oinked to her. "Yes, you are."

"So you're really going to stay more than, like, a few days?" Mabel asked excitedly.

"I think so," Arline told her.

The yesterday events at the Talent Show were still fresh in the minds of the occupants of the Mystery Manor. Dipper, who was reading into his journal by the outdoor couch, occasionally scanned the woods around him, perhaps worried a certain species of arachnid would come back for round two. Arline had stayed the night in one of the motel rooms and spent most of her time speaking with Mabel.

"But what about any of your other students?" Mabel asked Arline, leaning on Waddles with her back, staring up at Miss Hirsh.

"Mabel, you're the last one I have now. So, I'm okay while I'm up here," she told the brunette. "Beside, sometimes you just need a vacation, right?" she added with a wink to Mabel, who nodded her head quickly in a blur.

"Gravity Falls is a great place for a vacation!" Mabel declared with vigor, bounding off the pig and onto her feet. "Like, it's a super secret stash of fun and adventure! Just a few days before you showed up, Dipper and I had to deal with a poltergeist that turned out to be a Tulpa!"

"A... tulpa?" Arline blinked, her smile fading slightly. "Aren't those... uh... shapeshifters?"

"I... uh... DIPPER!" Mabel turned to her brother, who peeked up from his reading in the shade, "TULPA?"

"A shape-shifting entity that takes the form of that which is believed in the most in the area around it," Dipper told the as he prodded his nose back in the book.

"Yeah! That!" Mabel nodded and crossed her arms triumphantly. "Turns out some jerk wanted to get back at us for messing with his evil plans, and so he gave us a cursed coin!"

"Wow," Arline sat on her knees and shook her head, "man can hold a heck of a grudge. Just imagine if someone had the weird idea to believe in a living, animated ball of spikes?" The two of them shivered and groaned, but ended up laughing together. Arline calmed quicker than Mabel, and continued, "and speaking of this person, jerk-guy, you're not having any troubles with him, are you?" Arline asked.

"Pssh, no way," Mabel told her confidently, "this girl," she poked two thumbs at herself, "and her bro-bro," she rocked to the left and bent sideways, pointing to her listening brother, "got each others backs."

"I can see," the master of Mabel nodded and stood up, indicating to the pig that he would have to find a source of scratches and loving attention some other time. "You two were very impressive yesterday."

"Awww, shucks," Mabel spun and Dipper laughed.

"Thank you," he said.

"The math idea was all him," Mabel ran over to the couch, leaning on one of the arms and performing a minor act of balancing herself in mid-air, "and he's only been learning for the past month or so."

"Really?" Arline blinked.

"Mabel was pretty good and showing me the ropes," Dipper shrugged and smiled.

"I suppose so. Even though Mabel," Arline told them as she joined their side, sitting next to Dipper and looking intently at Mabel, "knows she was not suppose to tell anyone about her training," Mabel's smile faltered and she gulped, "I can at least over look this one. Especially since you've learned so much so far."

"I can pick some things up pretty fast," Dipper closed the journal and placed it aside, "you should have seen how fast a group of manotaurs taught me how to fight."

"A group of what?"

"Manoatuars," Dipper repeated, to the empty stares of uncertainty between the older woman and his sister, "Half man half 'tuar'? Uh... they're like minotaurs but... manlier?"

"You've met minotaurs in this town?" Arline asked, her mouth widened open in shock.

"Not exactly in town, but-"

"Giant spiders, tulpas, and minotaurs?" Arline stood, laughing, "this town is crazy!"

"That's pretty much right!" Mabel nodded and landed after her prolonged stance. "Isn't it cool sounding?"

"Dangerous? Yes," Arline started, "mysterious? Absolutely. Cool? _Heck_ yes."

"Well," Dipper pushed himself off the couch, "maybe we should show you some of the stuff in the woods."

"Huh?" The master looked around.

"There's a whole lot of crazy stuff out there," Mabel bounded past her master, elaborating in the clear sun, "like, you've got the multi-bear in the mountains, and he's a real sweet guy, and then there are the spiffy Goblins, but also the really mean and rude gnomes, and the-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow yourself super-girl," Arline put hand atop Mabel's head, and looked into the woods, "Goblins... just think," she said quietly to herself, "goblins are in these woods."

"You want us to take you to see them?" Dipper asked, coming up behind the two of them. "Mabel and I have been in these woods so much that we've seen just about everything there is."

"Nuh uh! We never saw the truck-sized spiders before!" Mabel told him. Dipper sighed and shook his head.

"No, the largest we found were human sized. That one was really, really big," Dipper admitted fearfully, "kind of makes me wonder where it's nesting... either way, do you want a special Mystery Twin tour of the Gravity Falls woods?" Dipper asked, a tiny amount of flare behind his words. Arline laughed as Mabel bounded behind him and presented her best jazz-hands out past his sides. Before Arline could cease her laughing and give her answer, the door by the gift shop slammed open.

"Oi! Kids!"

The twins turned and spotted Grunkle Stan, who was leaning out of the door while holding the side of the interior wall.

"I need you two to go out and get more of the cheap food-stuff that we survive off of. Come get the money and go grab the ramen and cereal or whatever," Grunkle Stan called to them.

"Aww, but we were going to take my master on a walk through the woods, "Mabel whined.

"The woods aren't going anywhere. At least not yet, unless something forces them to uproot and walk away," Grunkle Stan glared at the closest trees to his right, "I'm watching you, oak-ey... So go make sure we don't starve."

"We can make it a short walk if it makes a difference," Arline tried assuring Stan. The man's expression became stony and he glared to her like a gargoyle. "Or... not?" Arline added.

"Don't you need to be paying me if you want to stick more than a day?" Stan told her harshly. Arline blinked, pulling her head a few inches away and tightened her lips.

"I'll be sure to tip you well," Arline commented bitterly.

"Yeah, you do that," Stan told her without a second thought, "you two! C'mon! Chop-chop!" The twins begrudgingly walked over and took the fifty dollars from Stan's hands, and before turning away, he added, "and get more of that quadruple sticky syrup! It works just as well as waterproof sealants if you let it dry!" As Stan crashed the door shut behind the turned twins, Arline approached them.

"Is he always so, uh, loud?" she asked.

"Grunkle Stan? Yeah," Dipper nodded with an unconcerned grimace.

"He's probably just being a sourpuss because he thinks you stole the show yesterday," Mabel told her master with a kind air, patting her arm. "He had this whole speech ready and everything. I saw it this morning crumpled into a ball by the trash."

"Not my fault there was a giant spider about to eat people, or at least the... potential to eat others," Arline pouted, her arms crossed and looking to the doors, "next time he can jump on the stage and scare it off."

"All he'd have to do is rip off his shirt to do that," Dipper snorted, and got his sister to chuckle with him. "Well, let's get the food for the next month and-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Arline stepped up to them, "fifty dollars... for the month?" she asked of them.

"Uh... yeah?" Dipper shrugged.

"But that's just barely ten dollars a week on food!" she re-stated firmly. Dipper and Mabel's exchange of glances was slow and steady. Maybe it had just dawned on the two of them her point, or they had simply come to terms with the acceptance of their task to supply the shack for food at minimal cost: either way, their looks stirred Arline's wide eye stares further. "He does this often?" she inquired.

"We manage by," Dipper pocketed the money along with his hands, eying her worriedly, "if anything, it just makes us more, uh... monetarily responsible?" Dipper suggested. His attempted peaceful suggestion granted a shrug from Arline, announcing her pacification.

"Maybe you should come with us!" Mabel asked her lady-martial artist teacher. "Half the time we go into town something weird happens! Like when we found out that this one teenager was a robot, and then-"

"Sure, I'll come along," Arline nodded and her smile grew wide.

The three stepped into Dipper's car. Arline, having taken the bus trip up here the same way Dipper and Mabel had their first visit three years ago, was without immediate transport. While Mabel insisted that she could easily fit the three of them onto her bike, Dipper quickly grew nervous and demanded they use his car, noting to Mabel quietly he would be caught dead before he was found by anyone else holding onto Mabel for dear life while on that bike.

Into Gravity Falls downtown they went. As the day before Mabel had made sure to promote what places she felt was worthy to her master, and then to dismiss harshly those that had in the past done her wrong, there was not all that much to show to the martial artist. She was polite in receiving the re-explanations from Mabel, who was shaking with energy as she pointed back and forth in the car. Dipper would rub his head from time to time, as Mabel would accidentally elbow his face or the side of his head.

"You definitely are her brother," Arline told Dipper when they finally parked by the Bargains Depot, the half grocery half construction outlet.

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked as he stepped outside. Mabel bounded past him, humming gladly to herself.

"Your patience is astoundingly high for someone your age," Arline told him as she followed them around the car. The beep of the opening doors competed with Dipper's laughs, and he rubbed the back of his head.

"Thanks," he nodded to her as Mabel raced away, grasped a shopping cart, and drove it to them, taking long strides and letting the wheels carry her far- a Mabel-directed bowling ball of wired metal bars.

"COMING THROUGH! IMPORTANT SHOPPING TO DO!" Mabel roared as she nearly ran over a family of four.

"Sorry," Dipper apologized as he hurried past the flustered and angered parents.

"So tell me Dipper," Arline asked as they followed Mabel at a distance, letting her fly into the snacks aisle unchallenged, "what more is there about this town?"

"Oh boy," Dipper turned to his left and found Mabel comparing cereal bags, "I'm not sure I know the easy answer to that. Is there anything in specific you want to know? Like... origin? The people? Monsters?"

"Start with... all the above," Arline told him.

"Look! I found Deluxe Commander Crush Cereal!" Mabel told them, "I love finding old cereals! It's like I can remember the few times I almost broke a tooth trying to eat them."

"That's because they've been stale since five years ago," Dipper told her, examining the bag, "put 'em back."

"Milk can bring these poor bundles of corn flakes and sugar back to life," Mabel pleaded, but her brother strengthened shake of his head forced her resign on the matter. "Pff. Fine, okay," she lazily tossed the cereal back on the shelf, and threw in another, less exciting 'Morning Munch' into the cart.

"So," Dipper turned back to Arline as they trailed behind Mable like ants on a trail, "the town was founded by a lost president to history."

Arline's interest in the town never seemed to wane as Dipper, and occasionally Mabel, leveled out the details and strangeness of the exotic history of this region. She always brought up a new question, usually involving some sort of magic, or she would ask if groups of people had taken power from this land. Aside from the Society of the Blind Eye, Arline questions were not impressed with solid answers.

"Honestly," Dipper told her after they had rounded up enough supplies to last another month or so, give or take a week," most of the people who've let this stuff get to their heads have been crazy kids or, well, a demon."

"A demon?" Arline checked with Mabel, who nodded as she laid things onto the conveyor belt to the cash register, operated by a bored looking blond man with hair that fell just to his shoulders. His face was somewhat horse like in that it was much longer than it was wide.

"Mmhmm. His name was Bill," Mabel told her as the man soullessly lifted item after item and scanned them with a loud stinging beep.

"Dream demon. We've for the most part dealt with him forever," Dipper told her," a well into reality between universes is a pretty good way of dealing with a demon it seems."

"You... what?" she asked.

"That'll be forty nine dollars and sixteen cents, dude," the man at the cash register clamored.

"Sure one... second," Dipper looked to the cash registered. "Do I know you?" he asked. The man, who's name tag read 'Lee'.

"Dunno dude," Lee shrugged, "cash or credit."

"Cash," Dipper handed him the money, and Lee the cashier returned the stipend cents to Dipper. "Have a nice day and stuff."

"Thanks Lee!" Mabel proclaimed, shoving all the contents into the cart.

"You guys need to show me some of this stuff," Arline told Mabel as she and Dipper followed her past the doors.

"I don't see why not," Dipper commented, clicking open the back door to his car, "we're pretty sure where the good stuff is from the bad stuff."

"Maybe we should take her to the goblins?" Mabel suggested, "you'd probably like her."

"They'll like anyone who doesn't try killing their families and who doesn't poke fun at their height," Dipper collaborated the idea, and looked to the martial arts teacher with his sister. "How's that sound?"

"It sounds awesome," she told the two of them, and they celebrated with a commemorative high-five.

Back into the car they stepped, and as Dipper twisted the keys and the engines roared to life, a plan was made. To avoid Grunkle Stan dragging them into more chores before they had a chance to explore the woods again, their new target was the old Gleeful house, now a house that was for sale since the last families departure three years ago. The driveway would serve as a momentary parking location. Close enough in the woods and towards the mountains, the three left the car and stared across the street.

"I haven't been in woods like this in... uh... a long time? I think? Yeah," Arline told them with a nod, "A long time."

"As far as I can tell," Dipper told her, "there isn't another set of woods like this one in the world. So-

"Are you ready?" Mabel tacked on at the end.

"Born ready," Arline grinned, and the three crossed the street, and passed up the small moat dividing wilderness from the street, and they passed into the woods. "Okay," Arline stayed just a foot behind them, as she was busy looking at the massive pine trees and occasional redwoods, "this is already really cool."

"Those are just trees though!" Mabel told her, "the cool stuff is when the trees turn out to be giants, or tree-people! Or the trees grow fruit that makes you fly as long as you are chewing it!"

"And we're going to see a Goblin?" she asked them, her head craned behind them as a the stunning canopy of the forest pulled her focus.

"Not exactly a Goblin," Dipper said.

"More like a city of Goblins!" Mabel said cackled energetically. "We know their mayor!"

"And to think I thought it was cool that I met the singers for 'Duskhope' once," Arline sighed and carried on with them.

Their footsteps were always announced, as the earthy ground was covered in wayward drying and dead twigs and branches. While Arline constantly was busy staring around at the woods in amazement, she would point out the growing darkness, something that the twins were more than used to.

"It's less of dark and more of 'the cool stuff won't come out in the sunlight usually'," Mabel explained it while they passed over a fallen tree. The twins were confident in their way, as they should be. They had been back to see the Goblins more than once since their debacle with the Shapeshifter, and the twin's presence was always a welcome one.

Yet pushing forward into the darkening woods, Dipper started to wonder if they had taken the wrong direction, or slightly miss-calculated. Their echoing steps were no longer the only sounds in the cold, deep woods of Gravity Falls. They were under the shadow of the mountains, and strange cries and noises fluttered around them. Arline's curious wonder had flipped off, and her eyes combed the dark shadows at full alert, sharp and piercing as a dagger to a throat.

"Dipper," Mabel quietly asked her brother, "you know, maybe we should head back," she said after a loud shriek from somewhere distantly behind them.

"We're okay," Dipper told her, "c'mon. We've dealt with these woods before, and it was raining then! Now its all-" Dipper felt the ground underneath him, and his thoughts of dry earth were not valid, "mostly... not... wet..."

"Yeah, and last time we dealt with this stuff so well, didn't we?" she pointed out, and Dipper sighed.

"Hey Arline," Dipper turned to the woman, who was busy staring off into the distance, "I hate to say it, but we're not sure if we got lost in translation or what, but we should have made it there already." Arline said nothing, her eyes focused. Dipper cleared his throat expectantly, but she didn't blink or notice.

"Master?" Mabel worriedly asked.

"Quiet," she told them in a hushed tone, lowering herself towards the ground, crouching. Mabel instantly followed Arline's pose, and Dipper bent down as well. The golden haired woman held herself at the base of the trunk of a tree next to her. Had the two not had her in eyesight, they may have never noticed her. She suddenly had become silently. Her feet avoided each twig perfectly as she leaned down the tree and stared out into the woods.

"What is it?" Dipper asked.

"Shh!" Mabel hushed him.

Dipper growled, and Arline faced them. Without opening her mouth, she pointed to the region of trees that she had been staring at. The twins followed suit, and let the darkness become adjusted in their sight.

What started as merely shadows swirling in the cold dusty air evolved into a figure; hairy, hunched over, and looking around the forest. It was approaching their general area, bobbing it's head through the air like a net, swaying back and forth. After another step towards them, the three could discern loud sniffing and growling.

Dipper gulped. The figure was semi-human, furry, and the sniffing was constant. The chances of it being a cave man were minimal, and it was too small and improperly perportioned to be a cave-man. Dipper had run into these just two weeks ago, fleeing with a young harpy girl with a crush on him.

"It's a-"

Arline spun and slapped a hand against his mouth. Mabel pulled her head out of her master's way just in time, her eyes bugging out of their sockets as she witnessed the speed of the older woman. The three of them glanced over to the shadowy creature, which seemed to back off and retreat deeper into the darkness. Dipper's shock flooded over any sense of indignity for her action against him, and he worriedly looked to her. Arline mouthed to him and Mabel.

'We need to leave. Dangerous.'

Dipper and Mabel nodded without hesitation. Arline checked back to the darkness before them, gazing deep into it with a conviction of worry. When nothing came to affirm her fears, she slowly turned and made a long step over a large, dry branch on the ground. The twins gulped quietly and followed suit. Mabel was more successful than her brother at remaining quiet, but their efforts were in vain compared to the stealth skills Arline had.

They barely made it ten feet when something snagged on Dipper's soles. He resisted a swear under his breath, and turned to remove the root snagged on his shoes. Yet he realized- only Mabel had realized his strife. He clicked his fingers once, trying to catch Arlines attention.

The echoing click might as well have been a gunshot. The world itself froze in realization that something would dare make such a prominent, daring sound in this world. Dipper gulped, as the three listened around. Aside from the deafening quiet, nothing came of his snapping of fingers. Dipper sighed with his sister, and Arline turned to them.

With s snicker to him, she reached down and roughly yanked the roots off his feet. What she hadn't anticipated was the root being alive and well attached to their tree. Her strength was enough to pull earth down with top-soil root down, making a horrible series of crunching noises as the rest of the root twisted, crackled, and finally snapped loudly, throwing cold, moist dirt into the air around the three of them.

No longer did silence reign supreme of these woods. Coming through the imposing dark was snarling and loud patter of feet.

"Run!" Dipper quietly urged.

Back on their feet, the three made a dash past the trees. All pre-existing ideas of stealth were lost as the creature following them was hot on their tale. Barking and howling in their wake, the three had no chance to look over their shoulder as it chased their heels, snapping loudly and clawing at trees as it made to lunge forward.

"Crud-baskets!" Mabel shouted as the earth below their feet pounded like drums with the coming danger behind them. "Faster!"

Dipper dared look back at the creature once. He wanted to know how close he was to this thing, and what he could do to slow it down if there was time. His glance showed the closing proximity of the creature as it followed them from the shadowy region of the woods into the more standard, non-gothic forest. He almost got a look at it, but his running ahead in the woods while not looking ahead had consequences.

Dipper slammed half of his body against an old, thick tree. With a cry of pain, he stumbled aside and fell past a log. Mabel's cries kept him aware of the distance the other two were gaining on him, but he heard something worse coming towards him. With a bit of fast thinking that may have saved his life, he shoved himself against the tripping log, and pulled himself in all the way.

A foot, clawed and canine, slammed on the top, buckling the thick, drying wood as the creature pushed past it and stepped up and over Dipper. To say it had tufts of hair was an understatement. The creature wore the torn remains of a camouflage hunting jacket and trousers. The tufts of hair simply erupted out from the tearing fabric. Shoulders wide like a bear, long arms with thick, course, dirty hair, the werewolf stepped before Dipper, sniffing the air.

The teenage boy stared at the creature, wondering what his next best bet would be. He couldn't exactly move, as the beast had come to a stop, and was sniffing around as it snarled and checked the surrounding trees. This was a time-limit to escape, as it would only be a matter of time before the half-wolf creature on it's hind legs turned to smell and either saw him or caught up on his scent.

"Where... are you?"

Dipper shivered. The deep voice of the creature brought to mind the sense of a scratching shovel against rocks in the dirt. It was course and scratchy.

"Come out, boy," the werewolf said again. "I have unfinished business with you," he growled, clawing at a tree as his wolfish head peered around one tree. With the head turned away, Dipper took a chance and pushed himself out and leapt over the log. "NOT SO FAST!" The werewolf took to chase, and before Dipper could get to full speed, the wolf passed him and held itself between two trees, a grisly blockade of fur and muscle. Dipper screamed and stepped backwards, just barely keeping his footing.

"Wait... wait," Dipper eyed the werewolf before him. He had seen those same patterns before. They had been cleaner and intact, belonging to a mad, deranged hunter hell-bent on capturing a harpy for his own. No gun was present on the hunter, but certain Dipper saw the resemblance still in the face of the werewolf. "You're Folbrow. The Hunter."

"I was Folbrow," the werewolf stepped closer, pushing past the trees and looking around. "Yes. Was. Thanks to you and that little girl, I lost my humanity weeks ago. Now look at me!" he snarled loudly, the rattling breath sucking in the dusty air without qualms.

"Uh... yeah," Dipper found confidence in defiance, "hate to break it to you, you lost your humanity waay before being bitten. Now you're just matching up a bit bett-" Dipper had his face slapped by the back of the hand of the seven foot werewolf. He was tossed over and fell aside, his world spinning. His jaw ached along with his head, as he was certain he had struck a tree while in flight. His eyes struggled to focus, but they recognized the coming dark figure.

"I'll share with you my pain," the werewolf hunter snarled at him, closing the distance, "for what you did to me-"

"HIIYAAA!"

Dippers eyes spotted the colorful entry of what sounded like his sister. Blood pumped faster and faster through his head and body. Himself in danger was one thing- his sister? An entirely different topic. His head screamed in pain but he finally found himself able to act normally again. Mabel was giving her best against the wolf-human hybrid, kicking up and spinning with vicious strikes against the werewolf's side and neck.

"Mabel! Back up!" Dipper cried, pushing himself to his feet and rushing forward. He could hear footsteps racing behind him, but all Dipper could see was the evasion of the former hunter as Mabel punched out to his neck, missed, and the werewolf took his opportunity.

He snapped open his jaw and bit down on Mabel's shoulder. Dipper roared with his entire being. He jumped up and charged with little regard for his own pain, now so distant it was a nightmarish dream. His entire forward weight was centralized as he kicked into the neck of the monster just in time for it to release Mabel, who cried out and pulled away. Dipper fell to the floor of the forest, and found himself looking up to the exceptionally angry werewolf.

"I'LL FEAST ON YOU BOTH-"

If Dipper had though his jump-kick had been impressive, he hadn't seen Arline's. She landed just above him after slamming her foot right into the chest of the monster, not just toppling it down but knocking it several feet back. She turned to him, pale in the face.

"Help you sister!" she demanded as the werewolf slowly stood up, growling further.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, and clawed at the dirt to pull himself up. The brunette had pushed herself on a tree, groaning as she held her arm. Her teeth bared out in loud groans and hisses, she looked at her brother.

"Is it bad?" she asked. Dipper's quick observation of the wound calmed him down. The bite itself hadn't gone that deep. She was bleeding enough for blood to trickle down her arm, but she wouldn't need to head to the hospital. He sighed and looked into her eyes. She nodded and swallowed, calming her quick breaths. "It stings like stupid! Ow!"

BOOM.

The werewolf flew past them and slammed into a tree, easily ten feet off the ground. As the nearly limp body of the werewolf fell to the ground, it was caught. Arline Hirsh had zoomed by, kicked up with her foot, and pinned the wolf to the side of the tree by the neck. Whimpers and cries of panic emanated from the suffocating throat, but Arline pushed harder.

"Why were you hunting us!?" Arline demanded, nonplussed with holding the large creature up against a tree with one leg. The werewolf whimpered. "ANSWER. ME." she warned him with another push.

"N-no one," the former hunter gargled, "I just was looking for food-"

"Liar," she hissed.

"Master," Mabel gasped, looking at the sight of her martial arts teacher holding a creature up with one foot, easily weighing at over two hundred and fifty pounds.

"Mabel, stay still. Dipper, can you stop the bleeding?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded in a daze, and quickly looked around. There wasn't much he could take up from the forest, so he quickly removed his jacket and then shirt. He paid little attention to the journal as it fell aside. He was biting at his shirt, tearing it down the middle.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked him sadly, seeing him rip open his own shirt and tie it around her arm.

"Just stop bleeding. Then I can get a new shirt later," he told her, fastening the fabric under her shoulder. He tugged it a few more times, ensuring its tightness, trying to ignore Mabel's small groans.

"It's tight enough," she rolled her eyes and told him. Dipper nodded and bent down, collecting his journal.

"Try again, wolfy," Arline growled, catching the twin's attention.

"I don't know-"

"Wolves move in packs!" she reminded him angrily, "you were outside a pack when we found you! Sniffing the air, looking around, and in the same neck of the woods. Sounds awfully coincidental!" she added with another push of her heel.

Dipper wanted to remind Arline that in any other area of the world, she may have been right to assume the strange coincidence as something more factual. This was Gravity Falls, after all, where half the time a strange creature in a photograph as actually a strange creature instead of a hoax. Then the werewolf spoke.

"Fine, yes! The man in the cloak! He promised a cure if I could bring him the kids!" the wolf yelped.

"Describe him," Arline demanded dangerously.

"Thin kid, blue eyes, stutters-"

"Warlock!" Dipper shouted.

"He's gunning for us this badly?" Mabel asked her brother.

"I guess a giant spider wasn't enough," Arline told them, and then turned back to the werewolf, who gulped harshly as she glared to him, "now, you. If I ever see you again. I will not hold back. This? This is nothing." Arline lifted her arm, opened her palm and shouted. A ball of flame burst to life, floating in her palm a few inches in the air. "Come back, and I'll make sure you look favorably on a sunburn for the rest of your life." The wolf never had a chance to reply; Arline dropped her foot and then spun. The other supporting let whipped up and she kicked the beast hard enough to lift it back a few feet into the air and have it land with a heavy thud.

The twins stared at the beast for a moment as Arline quickly raced over to them. Her worried questions were fast and rapidly bouncing off of the twins. They were lost in a trail of thoughts.

They had dealt with horrible people before. Monsters had tried to kill them over and over again. This person, this warlock, had tried now four times to kill or hurt them. For a single person, that was a record. Even Bill Cipher, a demon of dreams and nightmare horror only had the record of three times attempting to do anything against them. This guy was no longer just someone they needed to get revenge on, and beat him up for trying to hurt people. This was a new level of bad-guy.

"We need to get you two back, now."

Those words finally settled on the twins, and they nodded and followed her through the woods. Dipper held onto Mabel the entire time, supporting her as she climbed over fallen logs and complained about their rudeness to not remain upright. Despite insisting she get shotgun, Mabel finally resigned her position and agreed to sit in the back along with Arline, to better have a watch on her. The blood had certainly come to slow, but she still bled.

Dipper drove faster than he had ever before on that road. Racing with Mabel had been a joking speed compared to this. Gravel soared at sonic speeds under the wheels of his car as he tumbled up the drive way towards the Mystery Manor. The groceries would have to wait; as soon as Dipper stopped the car before the wooden plank building, he ran over to help his injured sister out with Arline. The two of them half carried Mabel to the doors, where Dipper ran ahead, opening the gift shop doors for them.

"Sup dude," Soos quickly said as Dipper stepped aside. "Man, you guys must have had some hard time find the right cereal-" Soos lost his voice as Mabel came walking in next to Arline. "Whoa! Hey, what happened!" he cried out, dropping his dust broom to the floor.

"Huh?" Wendy peeked over her magazine and looked over. "Holy- Mabel! What the heck happened?"

"I decided to let life take it's best shot at me!" Mabel chuckled, "so a werewolf bit me."

"Wait, a legit werewolf, or a-"

"Wendy!" Dipper called to her, and the redhead spun her attention to him, "you have any of the gauze still?"

"Wha- yeah, one second," she bounded back behind the counter, and rummaged through boxes.

"Oh man, Mabel," Soos was too timid to touch the blood-splotched shirt, and instead looked to Arline, "is she okay?"

"For now, yes Soos," the master martial artist sighed and nodded, "can you grab some anti-bacterial please?"

"I have some here," Wendy piped up as she brought over a roll of gauze and a small tube. "Mabel, this will sting, but it keeps nasty stuff from growing," she warned the brunette.

"Oh please," Mabel said as the shirt was slowly pulled away, drenched in her blood, "I can deal with pain way," Wendy sighed and approached the wound, and with the help of Arline, identified the bite-marks, "way more than Dipper."

"Mabel, it's going to really sting," Dipper warned her worriedly.

"Nah, I totally got-" Wendy padded her bite mark with a small section of cotton pad, and Mabel groaned, "SWEET WEEPING PIGGIES! That stings!" On cue, a loud squeal from deep inside the building announced the running swine. "Waddles, buddy," Mabel swooned and reached with her uninjured arm down to let the pig lick her fingers. Waddles gave a concerned oink, but Mabel shrugged. "I'm okay. Mostly okay."

"If the pig is eating all my post cards again, I swear I'm going to... Mabel?" Stan had also come walking to the room, holding a collection of bitten and chewed on post cards. His eyes fell onto the injured girl's shoulder, and he rushed forward. "The heck happened?"

"Werewolf," Dipper said, and he spilled the story out in a rush. Stan continued to look between him and Mabel, a strained and pained look across his face. When Dipper finished with, "And we just got back," Grunkle Stan rounded on Arline, who blinked and leant back.

"You!" Grunkle Stan prodded her shoulder, "you care to explain how you let this happen?"

"E-excuse me!?" she demanded.

"You're supposed to be some sort of Bruce Lee or whatever, right?!" Grunkle Stan angrily told her, "what, forgot to drink your karate juice today, or do you just let young girls fight werewolves in the woods alone!?"

"Tough talk coming from the guy who lives in the woods with werewolves and lets his younger relatives stay over summer here anyway! How many times has something dangerous found its way inside this building?!" she barked back. The two glared at one another, a fierce power pulsing between the two stares.

"Not to say it wasn't a bad idea," Mabel piped in as Wendy bandaged her arm with the help of Soos and Dipper, "but I decided to jump in the way. Arline tried to hold me back, but I needed to help Dipper."

"You got bit because of me," Dipper groaned, leaning against the counter with his head hanging off his shoulders roughly. "This was my fault."

"Perchance," a new voice called in from the deeper area of the building, and Yuki stepped in, wearing a worn overalls covered in white paint, "it would be wiser to not assign blame and guilt while there is still a dilemma at hand. Mabel was, in fact, bitten by an infectious species."

"Yeah, thank you Yuki," Wendy nodded and Soos gave him the thumbs up. "We've got enough problems with Mabel being bitten."

"Yeah dudes," Soos added, "besides, it could have been worse had it not gone the way it did, right?" Soos asked to Dipper, who shrugged. "So let's figure this out together."

"Yuck. As much as I despise and find teamwork gross and for weak-willed idiots," Grunkle Stan turned and looked to Mabel, "I can swallow the flavor this one time."

"Okay," Arline walked around her student and spoke to Dipper, "what do we need to do?"

"Huh?" Dipper asked. The entire room was staring at him expectantly, awaiting orders regarding the werewolf bite. His mind was rattled, but he still had a source of all things werewolves. He sighed, and lifted the book. Walking around to the other side of the counter, he pulled it open and flipped pages. "Okay, let's see... werewolves... were-man? No, werewolves... Ah!"

"Werewolves," Dipper read aloud, "are large hybrid shapeshifters, who turn into a half human, half wolf form during the full moon. They are infected by a bite, and are given lycanthropy, hence the alternative name to werewolves, Lycans. A werewolf bite is not a guarantee infection," Dipper leaned into the journal, reading closer and word by word, "success varies, but there is a sixty percent infection rate, depending on the bite. Those who transform at first, under the growing moon, retain most of their human traits, but night after night, they will loose themselves more to the wolfish curse."

"That's great and all," Stan added, pulling Dipper from the words below him, "what about a cure? Assuming we need one," he added as the others looked worriedly at Mabel.

"Uh..." Dipper flipped a page, and nodded, "here we go. Silver bullets... kill them almost instantly," Dipper gulped and continued, "wolfsbane can be cooked into a tea-like drink and will fight away the infection, but it will take a week to cure, and then there's... oh god," Dipper groaned.

"What?!" Mabel demanded, stepping past Arline and Grunkle Stan.

"... or you eat the heart of the werewolf who bit you," Dipper told her grimly, "and you are cured."

"Well, start looking for Wolfsbane," Mabel sighed and turned around, "in the meantime, maybe we should, uh... you know, lock me up somewhere."

"What!?" Dipper demanded, "c'mon Mabel, that's ridiculous. There's a forty percent chance you're not even infected."

"Yeah dawg, but it's going to be full moon in three days," Soos pointed out.

"Growing moon, remember?" Mabel added in a resigned manner.

"I swear every story about a werewolf happens during a full moon," Wendy commented quietly, yet caught the attention of the others. "What? It does!"

"Dipper, what if I suddenly become a mean, nasty giant wolfgirl, and then try eating everyone?" Mabel told Dipper fearfully, "I won't let that happen dude."

"Neither will I," Dipper assured her, leaning closer to her.

"Then lock me up somewhere man," she demanded. Dipper sighed and shook his head.

"I'm not chaining you up like some angry dog," he warned her.

"Then don't," Yuki suddenly piqued up. The group turned to him. "As I heard your description of werewolves, they maintain most human traits during their initial transformation. Perhaps we should maintain a watch onto her, but not restrain her."

"So what, we all just sort of take turns watching her?" Wendy suggested.

"You don't have to," Dipper told her," I think I can just, you know, chill with her in our room. I'll keep an eye on her the entire time," Yuki and Arline made to speak, but Dipper raised his voice, "and if anyone wants to help out, we can have people stationed in other places in the shack."

"That... ugh," Stan sighed," it could be worse."

"Maybe just have some rope around, in case I get a little, you know, wild?" Mabel snickered, and Dipper sighed and rolled his eyes.

"I'll take the front door," Wendy quickly stated, "I can stay the night to help out."

"I'll stick around too," Soos said, "can't have my hambone alone in this problem."

"Aw, thanks you guys," Mabel allowed a watery grin to spread and grow, and she tried hugging the two of them but only succeeded with Soos, as raising her injured arm was less doable than she anticipated.

So Stan, for the first time in a while, was solely responsible for the happenings of the shop and any customers staying in the motels. He was resting behind the counter as Wendy sat outside on the couch, watching the sun set. Soos was by the stairs, looking up towards the high end, where the twins room would rest.

"Night comes," Yuki passed Soos nervously, rubbing his watered hands together, holding a dish-cloth between them.

"Yeah dude," Soos nodded, "hopefully this doesn't get crazy."

"In my short experience here my friend," Yuki told Soos with a pat on his arm, "there is no avoiding the crazy."

Up the stairs, to the left and then to the right and inside the Twins Room, Mabel was bouncing up and down on her bed. She giggled and laughed as Dipper sat on her bed, tracing her with his eyes endlessly. Waddles was sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at Mabel as well. Dipper barely blinked every thirty seconds, looking even more tired than he usually did with his darkened eyelids. Arline sat in the chair by the desk, watching the girl bounce and the sky darken.

"Mabel, I don't know what you're doing-" Dipper finally admitted.

"I'm trying to tire myself out!" Mabel told them. "Maybe if I'm so tired that I can't even move, when I become a wolfwoman I won't be able to do anything!"

"If you do," Dipper reminded her, "it's not happening until it happens."

"Maybe luck can be on our side, huh?" Arline asked them, picking up a pen from the desk and spinning it around in her fingers expertly. Dipper turned away from Mabel for a moment, watching the writing utensil spin and flip.

"How... Arline, how did you get started as a martial artist?" Dipper asked.

"I met a man a long time ago," Arline quickly answered, "and he saved my life. He taught me, and a few others, how to survive with these kinds of skills," she lazily tossed the pen behind her, which landed in the 'pencil mug' on the desk. With a snap of her fingers, Arline summoned a small fire, which she let dissipate and fade.

"What kind of person can teach you to create fire from nothing?" Dipper continued his questioning. Arline laughed as she did it again.

"The kind who is old, wise, and powerful," she told him, "and it isn't from nothing. I have to expend energy to do this. The idea, Dipper," she turned to look at him, holding five small flames at the tips of her fingers up, "is that we all have a kind of energy inside us. That energy can allow us to do everything we do all our lives. If you find a way to grow that energy and then harness it, well," she closed her fingers into a fist, and the fire spread along her fingers to her knuckles, and then exploded into embers and faded, "you can do some really neat things."

"Like being an awesome fire-shooter!" Mabel told Dipper as she flipped in the air.

"Then... I could bend fire?" Dipper asked Arline. She shrugged.

"Maybe. Depends if you're the kind of person who the element works with."

"There's fire," Mabel repeated for Dipper, "earth, water, and air, and that's it!"

"Not quite," Arline added, and Mabel landed, refraining from jumping.

"There... are more?" Mabel asked.

"Two more, technically three," Arline said with a grin. "They're dangerous though. The kinds of elements people really shouldn't be messing around with, and that's coming from me, on the path of fire."

"So seven elements," Dipper scratched his head. "I wonder what I am," Dipper chuckled aloud. Arline eyed him and smiled.

"That will be something you can discover in time," she said, "because making rash decisions about your alignment can really hold you back."

"Well, that's good-"

"Guys?"

Dipper and Arline looked back to Mabel. She was looking at the sky. It was now dark blue, and single bright splotch of white pierced the darkness. The two straightened up and focused on Mabel. Night had come, and along with it the moon; it was now or never.

"Mabel, look at me," Dipper asked his sister as she sat on the edge of her bed with a 'flump'. "Do you feel weird?"

"My shoulder is still itchy?" she answered truthfully.

"That's just the bandages," Arline told her, "how about the rest of you?"

"I... actually... I do feel kinda..."

Mabel looked between the both of them. Her eyes grew wider as the moon rose. Dipper could feel sweat growing on his hands and face, and he looked once to Arline, who was too busy fixated on her student to look back. As Dipper looked back again. Mabel made a bellowing cry. Dipper shrieked and leaned back, but before Arline could get to her, Mabel spun and let off a brutally loud fart.

"Ah- MABEL!" Dipper shouted at her angrily, holding a hand to his chest. Arline spun right around in her tracks, snickering to herself. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY- Ack! And that was nasty!"

"You should have seen your face!" Mabel roared with laughter as she rolled back onto her bed, holding her side with her uninjured arm. "I needed that laugh so badly-" Mabel huffed, and huffed again, and let out a room-shaking sneeze.

Dipper blinked. He couldn't believe it. Mabel was still before him, but... she certainly was not the same she was a split second ago. Her ears had instantly risen to rest atop her head, her nose was darker in color and wet looking. Hair had covered most of her body, and as Dipper eyed her up and down, he spotted a shaggy, brown haired tail by the bottom of her back. She still wore her shoes and none of her clothing had been torn or even misplaced. In fact, it just looked like someone placed a lot of make up on her nose and her ears, now in pointed canine form, had been repositioned.

"A-A-Arline?" Dipper slowly called. The woman had just turned to sit down when she saw Mabel.

"HOLY CRUD!" Arline gasped and stood up again. She raced over to Mabel, who eyed her with brig, brown, wide eyes. "Mabel?" Arline asked. Waddles squealed at his long time friend, and Mabel the werewolf let her now long tongue loll out and she began to pant, her tail wagging.

"She's... a dog? A dog-person?" Dipper asked to Arline, who stood up fully, rubbing her head.

"I guess that's what it's like during the fist transformation?" Arline asked. Mabel sniffed her, leaning closer and then snorting onto Arline's hand. "Ew," she wiped off the werewolf snot onto her clothing, and turned for the door. "Dipper, I'm going to let the others know we need that cure. Stay here and watch her for a second."

"S-sure," Dipper nodded nervously as he sat across from his afflicted sister, who stared at him with a happy panting gaze. As Arline left the room, Mabel lifted her leg and scratched the back of her ear. "Mabel?" Dipper asked, leaning forward, to which Waddles mimed action, "can you understand me?"

Mabel seemed more interested in the pillows on her bed. She bit down on one and began to twist and tear at it until clumps of feathers flew out.

"Okay, maybe not?" Dipper asked to Waddles, who oinked back at him. Mabel sneezed and looked up from her destroyed pillow. She stared at Dipper, and then looked outside. "Mabel, you should be able to understand me, that guy did," Dipper told her. Mabel looked quickly back to him, and then stood up. She was half a foot taller than she used to be, as her feet had been-reformed to resemble canine hind legs. She pressed herself against the window and then barked. Her voice, Mabel's voice barking against a window was too much for Dipper. He fell aside and started laughing.

"Seriously, Mabel," he snickered as she stepped back, staring at the moon, "knock it off. We should take you downstairs and start figuring out what to do with-"

Dipper shouted as Mabel lunged through the glass window, shattering it around her as she plummeted out and down. Dipper screamed and Waddles squealed as they both approached the broken window and looked down. She landed and panted further. Dipper couldn't believe his eyes as he and Waddles watched down into the grass as Mabel found her tail, spun around a few times to try and catch it, and then let off a loud, night-rattling howl.

He didn't even have a moment to say word as Mabel leapt ahead, on her hands and feet, and ran off into the woods.

* * *

Oh noes! One rabid Mabel-werewolf on the loose! Someone call animal control! Or maybe a circus! BOTH!

An update a little late on Sunday, so I hope you guys see it before I have part two updated and fresh. So sorry about that! Life gets busier and busier! Hehehe... heh.

Predictions so far? What will come of our new fur-covered friend? What can the gang to do pacify her? Can a cure be found in time? Or will Mabel be the new werewolf queen of the universe? Hm. Probably not that last one, but you never know.

Welp, I'm off for now! See you guys next Sunday! (EZB pulls around him a cloak, and vanishes- the cloak falling to the floor. From outside the window, EZB can be seen falling from the sky, screaming about how the cloak wasn't supposed to place him that high into the air.)


	28. American Werewolf In Oregon: Part 2

"Dude, pass me a soda."

"I'm not getting up, man!"

"Thompson. Get us soda."

"Oh, what, guys-"

The two other young men on the stone back porch to the home began to chant the name 'Thompson' in low tones, growing louder and louder as the larger and rounder man groaned, stood up from his reclining lawn chair and marched away. Towards the red cooler his shoes clopped, collaborating with the growing chanting of his two present male friends. Nate and Lee cheered loudly as Thompson finally removed the lid and grasped four cans of soda. The quietest member of the four, Tamby, sat in her chair, avidly pressing away on her phone as the dying light of the afternoon sucked away color from the sky.

"Nice dude," Nate congratulated Thompson as he opened his gifted tin can.

"Just don't spill on the seats, okay?" Thompson asked in a confined tone, checking with Lee as well, who entirely ignored his request.

"Man. To think we've got one last summer here," Lee told them with a ever so faint grin, "and then we're out to college and stuff."

"Dude, don't even start with that," Nate scolded him, adjusting his decorated cap with a twist, jostling his dark brown hair atop his tanned skin on his head. "Summer is half way though, so no sad stuff."

"Yeah, this is our chance to chill," Thompson pointed out to the other three. Tambry, with her almost equally tan skin in comparison to Nate, lowered her phone, a somber look to her male friends. Thompson continued, "we're all so busy, so..."

"Maybe we should burn something," Lee suggested.

"Dude, nice." Tambry cocked a corner of her mouth. "And kind of psychotic."

"You try being cooped up in that store all summer. Makes you go crazy and want to break stuff," Lee told her. A blink later and his memory recalled something, "Hey, you remember those kids that Wendy had us hang out with a while ago?"

"Huh?" Lee and Thompson asked, but it was Tambry who sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. They're back up here for a summer it looks like. They thought we were friends or whatever."

"Looks that way. They stopped by the store today, with their mom or someone," Lee explained, "made me think of better times."

"Man," Nate smirked. His smile died as he looked around again to his friends. "Well... to missing friends this night," he said with a raised can.

"To friends," the other three laughed and raised their cups. A mild breeze caressed their hands at once, drifting the scent of carbonated, sweet beverage into the forest around them. They all dropped their hands to their mouths, and indulged their taste buds.

"So, are you guys going to try and say hi to Robbie when he comes and visits?" Thompson asked. Lee scoffed with Nate, and Tambry groaned. "What? C'mon, he was our friend.

"Yeah, sure. A friend who ran off like that? I'll need to update the online definition of 'friend' now," Tambry pushed her voice through gritted teeth.

"But-"

Thompson's defense of their old friend was cut short. A devastating and all knowing, fear-inspiring call of darkness rattled admits the leaves and branches of the woods. Every human knew this sound; felt it to the core of their bones and the marrow of their spirit. This horrible beckoning was that of the wolf. A howl. Not only was it loud, the source of the sound close. Thompson shrieked and leapt out of his seat and hid behind it as the three others stood up, gasping and craning their necks around.

"Whoa! Was that a real wolf!?" Lee asked the others.

"I don't know anything else that sounds like that," Nate told him. "Do you see it?"

"Totally recording this," Tambry told them as she activated the camera to her phone.

"Guys, let's go inside," Thompson requested, his fingers almost bending the fabric of his chair to the point of bruising.

"No way! That sounded awesome-"

Lee and his friend gasped.

"Tambry," Nate pointed with his finger as he lowered his voice. Tambry stepped closer to him and Lee, and the four of them finally saw it. A large beast, furry, with glowing yellow eyes was in the brush, staring at them as it crept closer. "Look how big it is!"

"Guys, please, let's go inside!" Thompson begged, rushing closer to them knocking over a hastily placed can of soda on the ground.

Ahead, the beasts ears perked up, pointing skyward and twisting to face the four. The creature snarled and pushed its way through the leaf and branches. The young adults before it slowly lost the awe and majesty of what they watched. Long brown tangled hair fell past the pointed skull and clothing still gripped along the human sized canine creature. Yet what made them tremble and begin to heed Thompson's advice was, admittedly, an easy to detect fear that wolves could not perform- walking on two legs.

The wolf-creature howled before them, and the four screamed as it lunged.

* * *

"Oh, let's not tie Mabel up," Stan scolded Dipper as he hastily began to collect needed supplies, "there's only a chance to become a werewolf! Dipper, what kind of thinking was that!?"

"The last thing I wanted to do was induce a panic-transformation!" Dipper shouted over his shoulder to his grand uncle, who groaned and clawed at the sky above him. "When someone is bitten, they can transform if their stress levels get too high! You don't think having her tied up and gagged would have done that!?"

"It was her idea; she could have gotten over it," Grunkle Stan defended himself as Dipper pushed past him.

Rushing into the gift shop with his elder on his trail, Dipper found the eyes of the four others all on him. Arline had rushed to grab her hooded jacket, and wore what appeared to be worn leather arm-guards. Soos was equipped to his best- which meant his tool belt as a bandolier and rope tied around his other shoulder. Wendy and Yuki were talking to one another, but quieted down once Dipper and Stan returned. Waddles bounded in after him, and nudged his back leg, which Dipper appreciated silently.

"Okay, so, I've gotten down a plan B for Mabel," Dipper informed them with vigor, and laid down a hastily, but professionally made, chart of actions, illustrating his points. "When a werewolf first transforms, it embodies the most animalistic traits of that person, and then adds the vigor and energy of a hybrid wolf-human. So, here's what we can expect."

Dipper pointed first to a picture of Mabel when she was twelve, shoveling candy into her mouth. "She always has, and always will, love anything with enough sugar in it to give you a headache. If we can pinpoint places that have a ton of that, like the candy store, we can bring her back."

"Dietary habits. A wise choice," Yuki commented.

Dipper pointed to a second picture, this time of Mabel cuddling with waddles. "Mabel loves things that make her squeal. The problem with this one is that it can be hard to tell. She just sort of loves every animal that isn't evil looking."

"Doesn't that mean she could try eating them?" Wendy pointed out worriedly. Arline scoffed.

"She may be a werewolf, but this is still Mabel. I bet if someone told her she may have stepped on a mouse she'd cry for days," she told them with a grin and twinkling eyes. Dipper nodded: Mabel's master knew her all too well.

"Good to know. Now can we please stay on track?" Grunkle Stan grumbled. Arline's clever smile dropped and she glared at him in return.

"So, if we spot a harassed looking animal, chances were Mabel swaddled it. Okay, third possibility, and... the really scary one," Dipper pointed to a outline of Mabel he drew, swooning over an outline of another figure. "She's guy crazy."

"Such truth has not been spoken in ages," Soos commented.

"There's a good chance she may spot someone she deems as a 'hottie'," Dipper quoted with bending fingers, "and assault them. They'll think they're being attacked by a wolf in ragged clothing, so we have to be careful. They could try hurting her."

"Okay, great," Soos agreed, grasping hold of his plunger, "I am prepared."

"What good is a plunger going to do?" Dipper asked.

"Dude, never question something that's so powerful that it can fix the worst possible situation imaginable," Soos, in his most serious and knowing way, confined in Dipper. "Besides, this end here," he pointed to the rubber end," is way gross. No one wants to be hit by that end."

"Why?" Yuki inquired.

"It's what touches the poop," Soos told him with a blank face. Yuki's curious interest slowly decayed and was left with a horrible sinking pit, his eyes widening and his lips stretching downwards like they were weighted.

"Vile," Yuki leaned away, pushing himself behind Wendy, who eyed him with a cocked eyebrow.

"Great. So, can we just get going already?" Stan growled as he adjust his tie, "not to remind everyone of the impending doom, but werewolves and strong predators. They aren't known for asking for the things they want."

"Okay," Wendy nodded," teams one," she pointed to Dipper and Stan," and two," she turned her point to Arline and Soos," scramble. Team three will remain at base until further notice," she saluted. Yuki nodded and the pig snorted next to him.

"Be safe, my friends," Yuki waved to them.

"Remember, call me if she comes back!" Dipper called as the four rushed out, clamoring with gear and the bending of wooden planks beneath their feet. "Right, Wendy?!"

"Always got your back!" Wendy called back. Dipper grinned and rushed through the open door.

"Watch the costumers and make sure they don't realize that the window on the second floor was broken by a werewolf!" Stan shouted as well, to which Wendy paused in her reply, looking around for a certain way to respond confidently. She managed to shrug.

"Smart guy builds a motel in the middle of a paranormally active town and forest that stretches for miles," Arline mumbled as she and Soos parted, "what could possibly go wrong with that?"

"You saying something?" Stan barked at her. She shrugged innocently and stepped in the passenger seat with Soos. "Dipper!" he shouted to his young nephew. Dipper skidded to a halt, grinding up dirt and pebbles as he stopped before his car. "We're not taking your car," he told him.

A minute later, Dipper climbed into the passenger seat of the expensive, antique El Diablo speedster. He barley secured his seat and the seatbelt when the engine roared proudly with fury, and Stan yanked the gears. Dipper gasped as the red vehicle sped ahead, chasing after Soos's car, which had already gotten ahead of them.

"Okay, just get us into town as quickly as you can," Dipper told Stan as the fierce vehicle seared down the road, passing along side Soos's quainter ride. "I'll keep in contact when we arrive with Soos. That way we can coordinate ourselves constantly and limit the amount of places we need to look."

"It may not be that hard," Stan told him as they raced onto the road.

"Really? How's that?" Dipper asked as he checked with his mapped out plan. Stan punched his shoulder. "Ow! What?" Dipper lifted his gaze, and found them passing the beginnings of the outskirt homes of downtown Gravity Falls. Many torn and split open soda cans were scattered around the lawn, which glistened with drying soda. From the windows, looking out with worry was a gang of teenagers, who checked with the passing car. "Those were Wendy's friends," Dipper stated, and then looked again to the cans of soda. They weren't just torn open, but slashed apart. "Mabel."

"She's definitely sugar crazy right now," Stan told him, "and if she stays that way we might be able to catch up with her quick enough."

"Then we both know the next best place to find her," Dipper eyed his grand uncle. The clever con man growled and his foot nearly touched the floor of his car against the gas pedal.

As the car sped deeper into town, Dipper flipped open his phone, and called Soos. He only was forced to wait several rings before a voice answered him.

"Arline here, Soos's driving," the woman's voice answered.

"Hey, we just spotted a house that Mabel definitely passed," he craned his head around his seat and peered back through the minor windows of the back of the car, "there were soda cans torn up and scattered everywhere. Doesn't look like she hurt anyone or broke anything- well, except the soda cans."

Dipper's ears picked up the other side of the phone, as Arline communicated this to Soos, who gave a curt reply. Arline reply a moment later. "Then we know where she's going, don't we?"

"Yes, yes we do," Dipper nodded solemnly and looked ahead. "The candy shop."

* * *

Toby Determined strode at his brisk, lifted pace. Bounding a little in each step, he approached his destination- the Candy Shop. Grinning to himself with his crooked teeth while humming in his strange, overly-nasally voice, he murmured his excitement.

"Candy day! Oh Toby, you old dog," he said smiling, with an adjustment to his britches, "time for you to forget all the social anxiety you suppress in exchange for a sugar high! Ha ha haaa," he snorted, his bulging eyes looking to the sky. The glass windows looking into the shop presented itself to the man, and he grinned, and pressed his head against it.

"Awww, all you delicious sweets can be mine," he told himself in the window, as the shopkeeper by the cash register stared at him with worry, "and then I can lie back and bed and pretend my life is much more tolerable than it is!" he ended excitedly and pressed himself from the glass. Something in the reflection caught his attention, and he stared at it. Behind him, galloping down the street on hind legs, a creature was approaching.

"What on earth-"

Toby yelped and dived out of the way as a large creature of brown fur and hair dived through the glass window of the shop, splinter shards of glass everywhere. Men and women outside screamed and darted away, leaving Toby on the ground to try protecting himself from the chaos. Finally the glass fell around him and he noticed he was unharmed. A tiny grunt and wobbling arms later, Toby was on his feet, and staring into the now destroyed shop. The creature was still inside, diving in a slowly spilling ocean of candy. The shopkeeper leapt from the window, tripped into the sidewalk, but pushed himself away, passing the stunned reporter.

"Maybe life isn't so bad after all," Toby told himself, and he made a one-eighty turn and started calmly walking away, hands in his pockets.

Passing Toby Determined was a red El Diablo speedster, which slid to a stop, searing tire tracks into the street. Jumping out from their seats in record speed, Dipper and Stanley Pines were out and racing towards the broken shop.

"Great! We found her!" Dipper remarked as they ran.

"Now what? She's a werewolf Dipper! She could probably over power both of us!" Stan told Dipper who nodded.

"We'll need Soos and Arline to help us out when they get here," Dipper told him. The old man groaned as they made it to the shattered glass, and Dipper furthered him with a stare. "What?"

"We really just need Soos," the elder crossed his arms in a huff.

"What? Arline can fight and hold Mabel down probably. She fought off that other werewolf that got her like it was nothing," Dipper commented, defending the honor of his sister's martial arts master.

"Right, the same woman who let our Mabel get bitten in the first place?" Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "sounds like someone we can trust."

"Do... do you not like her?" Dipper asked.

"No!" Stan barked angrily, the two of them ignoring the continued destruction of the shop to their side, as a hairy, half-wolf girl swam through candy, devouring everything it could. "How could I like anything that ruined a chance for profit?!" Stan demanded.

"But she's really nice," Dipper chuckled, "and she's helping us out, isn't she? And she's paying you for one of your rooms isn't she?"

"Don't care. I could have had all those rooms locked up by visitors each night if I had the chance to speak to the crowds," Grunkle Stan told Dipper.

"Look, Grunkle Stan, maybe you should just-"

A throaty rumbling that could have belonged to anything the size of a bear or larger put pause to Dipper's argument. He and Grunkle Stan slowly turned towards the shop with their gaze, and found a figure they partially recognized; werewolf Mabel. She was taller than either of them remembered, being easily seven feet tall on her hind legs, and with glowing brown eyes that shone with yellow light. She licked her canine lips, and several wrappers fell away. Sugar floss was tangled all in her now very thick brown hair, and a score of candies were woven into her sill intact sweater and skirt.

"Good Mabel," Grunkle Stan nodded as he and Dipper slowly took a step back from the large creature, "good girl, nice girl-"

"She's not a dog, Grunkle Stan!" Dipper hissed at him under his breath, yet keeping his eyes locked onto the girl.

"Tell that to miss fangs and teeth!" Grunkle Stan replied as werewolf Mabel stepped out, that same rumbling sound emanating somewhere in her throat.

"Mabel?" Dipper gulped, and she turned her head to him. She began to lean in, gapping the feet distance they shared and she sniffed his face. "It's me. Dipper?" he smiled worriedly as she made no reaction to him. "Mabel, it's me, your brother." The werewolf leaned back, and began to snarl. Elder and teen gulped and stepped further away, worried for their safety. They could see the sharp claws and bared teeth.

Then Mabel burped. Not a soul in Gravity Falls would have missed this particular belch- it reverberated and rumbled through the street like a cannon shot. Dipper gagged- her breath was a trash can for old, rotten sweets from Halloween, or so it smelled. Grunkle Stan groaned, but didn't turn away, instead just fanning his face quickly.

"Never thought I'd ever be out-burped by my neice," he admitted as Mabel stretched her jaw and then scratched her ears excitedly.

"Mabel? You okay?" Dipper asked, and Mabel eyed him, and broke a goofy doggy-smile. Turning her head to one side, her ears perked up and her tongue lolled out. "Yeah, it was a gross burp," Dipper groaned, aware that somewhere inside that bundle of candy carnage was his sister, willing to prank him.

The wereolf before them tilter her ears to the side and looked past Dipper's shoulder. Soos's brown-tan car parked next to Stan's, and Arline quickly jogged over with the handyman. "Keep her still!" Arline shouted when Dipper and Stan turned to spot them. Something rushed above Dipper's head, knocking over his hat. He stumbled back and realized Mabel was gone. She head leapt clean over him and his great uncle and onto the building roof behind them, some thirty feet back, and thirty feet up. "Dang it!" Arline growled, eyed around for a moment, and leapt onto a street light, and began to shimmey up it.

"Heh! Good luck keeping up like that!" Grunkle Stan laughed as Arline struggled but gained height steadily.

"You gotta admit, that's cool too," Soos pointed as the martial artist leapt to the side of the building, unseen to Mabel the Werewolf, who was craning her head around, spying around the town. Grunkle Stan eyed his handyman and growled. He too ran ahead and started to shimmy up the street light, after her. "Oh yeah! Go Mister Pines!"

"Soos, look!" Dipper pointed to Mabel, who's eyes had just locked onto something distant. Far ahead, as Dipper and Soos followed her stares, Dipper found a blond boy of her similar age, well dressed and groomed, flipping through his smart phone. When Dipper turned back to his hybrid sister, he could have sworn there were hearts in her eyes. "Uh oh!"

Mabel leapt across the street and onto the opposite rooftops, stunning the four in pursuit. Arline, who had just made it to the roofs herself, took a long breath, and made the jump herself, flying across the street and landing just short, catching the edge of the rooftops as Mabel dissapeared on the other side.

"Ha! Barely made it!" Grunkle Stan mocked Arline, still clinging to the street lamp. It buckled as he did, and then fell to the side, slamming him into the ground next to a collection of trashcans. "Ow..."

"Mister Pines!" Soos ran over to him, but Dipper held his eyes up. Mabel was still on the move: she vanished behind the rooftops and down the street. Dipper checked again with the blonde boy, oblivious to any danger coming his way.

"Shoot!" Dipper growled and ran after him. The boy was crossing past the end of the line-up of buildings and onto the next street. Mabel would be waiting on the other side, Dipper knew it. If he couldn't make it to the boy in time, his sister could leap at him and do who knows what kind of damage.

"Sorry!" Dipper shouted as he dive-tackled the boy just as he and the boy turned the corner in the shade of the casting light from another street lamp. As the boy landed with a loud thump, Dipper rolled to his back and looked up. He already saw his sister moving away, and as Dipper traced her movement, there was yet another boy down the street.

"What's the problem, dude?" the blond on the ground demanded to Dipper, but he head already stood up and charged after his sister.

He tackled the next boy, this time a brunette with curly hair. Mabel moved on again, dragging Dipper along her for the ride. Three, four, five, soon the entire population of teenagers Dipper's age would know the feeling of the ground underneath his tackle or shove as he repeatedly tried to save them from an ambush that did not come from above, or at all for that matter. Behind Mabel, Arline barely kept up, sweating profusely as she jumped across the entire street after Mabel.

As the group continued to chase her, Dipper started seeing less and less of his wolfish sister. She was getting faster, able to turn on a dime and leap across a street without warning. Dipper would checked his journal after the fifth time this happened, and he gulped. The more active a werewolf was during their first three transformations, the more accustomed to their body and mind they would become. Chasing Mabel was just furthering the process of her adjusting to the curse, something he wanted nothing of. They needed a way to pacify her without question.

Then it clicked in his head. He knew what he needed to do. He skidded to a halt, placing away his journal and instead taking out his phone. He dialed Wendy's number, and waited for the answer as he heard Soos and Grunkle Stan slowly catch up.

"Hey!" Wendy answered, "she heading our way?"

"Not yet," Dipper responded firmly, "but we're going to change that. I need someone to bring Waddles down into town!" he told Wendy with authority.

"Waddles?"

"Mabel so far has dodged everything I thought she would dive for, as long as we were near by it. I think the things here, in town, are things she wants if she's alone. So unless she plays a game of hot-potato with the local boys, she's just going to destroy every shop with candy in it. But she'd never hurt waddles, and she'd just want to cuddle and play with him. We need him down here!" Dipper quickly explained as Stan and Soos arrived, breathing frantically.

"Uh, okay, uh... there's only your car up here, Dipper," Wendy acknowledged. Dipper swore under his breath.

"Dang it, you're right. Wait- just get on your bike with Waddles! Grunkle Stan," Dipper turned to his elder, "where is that baby carrier Mabel left here?"

"Uh... in that hallway closet?" Grunkle Stan guessed.

"Wendy, can you find the baby carrier that Waddles can fit into, and bike down here with him?" Dipper asked. Nothing was used in reply, and Dipper listened harder. "Wendy?" he asked.

"Yeah, uh," he heard her say, and there was hushed voices on the other side of the phone. Dipper was certain he heard Yuki's voice. "I think my bike's tires are on low air, actually. But Yuki said he's willing to give it a shot on the golf cart!"

"What? Wendy?" Dipper demanded, but he was cut off.

"Okay, Yuki and Waddles are heading down now- heads up buddy- bye!" Wendy rushed her words quickly over one another, leaving Dipper stunned. He held the phone to his side as the connection ended, and he turned to the two others, looking to him. "Okay, Waddles is being brought to town. We need a way to pull Mabel over to us so that when we have her here, she can see Waddles for herself, and then we lure her all the way back to the Manor."

"And how exactly do we do that?!" Stan demanded. "In case you didn't realize, the girl is running around, being chased by a master martial artist while she desperately looks for boys to lick."

"Ew, Grunkle Stan," Dipper shuddered, "let's not talk about what my sister wants to do to others in her werewolf mind."

"Dipper, I don't know what you're soo up about," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "we already had this discussion once."

"Of-of what?!"

"The birds and the bees?" Stan asked. Dipper wrinkled his nose and shook his head. He would not allow that conversation to continue, and spun to observe the rooftops. As he did, Mabel darted across, her tongue lolling around as she ran far ahead of Arline, who was slowing, her face red from having run at full speed on rooftops for the past half hour.

"How do we get her to come down?!" Dipper growled and scratched his hat. "If we don't, she may be on the other side of town when Waddles shows up."

"Hmm... I dunno dude," Soos puzzled along his friend, wringing his cap worriedly, "if only we had someone here, someone with sufficient knowledge of what it was like to be a pig. Then maybe they could try calling with pig noises to attract Mabel here." Dipper grumbled and sighed. Yet his mind worked its way towards a helpful conclusion, and he turned to Soos.

"We do though!" Dipper gasped and clapped Soos's back, who blinked and looked to Dipper.

"Who?"

"You!" Dipper pointed to him, "you switched bodies with Waddles, remember?"

"Oh... oh yeah," Soos nodded grimly, "it was really fun up until the part where I was almost eaten."

"But then you could make the noises," Dipper implored him, "you've actually been inside the body of a pig once!"

"Aww, I don't know, this kind of feels a little awkward," Soos admitted, his cheeks flaring red. His eyes darted away as he scratched the back of his head. "I'd rather not-"

"Soos," Grunkle Stan stepped up, power in his voice, "that's my little niece up there, and your friend. She could hurt someone or become hurt if you don't at least try this."

"You... you're right," Soos nodded, firming the tension in his hands into fists and he turned away from them, clearing his throat. "Ahem. Testing, testing, oink, two, three," he called around. "Okay, warm up the voice, "he spoke to himself, and made what could only be described as a series of low pitched bird calls which grew in pitch. Once he blew out his lips, and again cleared his throat, his body relaxed, and he made his first noise.

The squeal was a perfect replica of Waddles. Nothing happened at first, with exception to Dipper and Stan nodding in approval. Soos gave it another shot. This time Mabel hurtled over the buildings and landed in the streets, snarling and running right at them.

"Soos- You made her angry!?" Dipper shouted as the three of them turned and ran for it.

"Ahh, I may have used the 'help me, I'm a pig' squeal instead of the 'boy, I'm so happy I'm a pig' squeal!" Soos admitted fearfully as the pitter patter of Mabel's advancement grew closer.

"Just run!" Grunkle Stan ordered as they pelted down the street, a wolfish monster on their trails.

Down one street, around a corner, through a alleyway. Climbing over fences and jumping past mailboxes, around cars and past buses, the trio avoided and dodged around the feral and clearly upset Mabel the werewolf. Dipper requests for her to calm were entirely ignored or misunderstood by his sister, as she constantly clawed at them, sometimes snagging piece of clothes or snapping at their heels.

Mabel leapt above and past them finally, having the three skid to a halt. Dipper stopped, but was hit by Stan, who was hit by Soos. The three of them collapsed onto one another before the werewolf. Her shadow cut out the nightlight above her and she lowered herself, growling as she approached.

"M-mabel, please," Dipper begged her as she snapped her jaw and bared her teeth. He could smell that sickly sweet breath on his face as her fierce mouth inched closer to him.

"Oink."

The werewolf whipped its head around, the snarling fading instantly. The three on the ground also craned their heads to face what was behind her. The Mystery Manor golf cart was facing away from them, with the back seat occupied by a particular pink pig, who was eyeing Mabel with his usual beady black eyes.

"Oink."

Changing from fierce predator to exicted puppy took less than a second. The werewolf yelped and bounded over, hopping in place as it licked the pigs face over and over again Waddles squealed in delight, allowing the monstrous and formerly human friend to continue doting on him.

"Is she secure onto the back?" Yuki asked, poking head out from the side of the cart, looking to Dipper and the group.

"Yeah, she's in already," Dipper signed, barely noticing Arline climbing down to land next to him. Yuki nodded, and the cart rattled away, moving up the street and out of sight. Dipper slowly stood as he watched his scary sister be carried away from the town. He was still very shaken. Even after all that time, the attempts to calm her; she still couldn't tell it was him.

"Well, at least we saved the town," Grunkle Stan patted Dipper's shoulder proudly. Behind him, another light post fell to the ground, where Mabel had used it to leap over them. Many of the cars had broken in rooftops and shattered windshields.

"Define 'saved'?" Arline asked. One of the cars behind her, which Mabel had leapt off of in her attempt to catch the trio, lost one of its wheels: popping off and rolling away while the car alarm blared off noisily.

Escaping from the town before the police arrived to the multiple phone calls of a monster running rampant around town, the four chasing Mabel managed back into the cars and started back towards the Mystery Manor. The drive was a quiet one, examining the damage Mabel had caused in her rampage. Windows shattered, cars torn to pieces, boys scared out of their mind the few times they spotted the coming werewolf, and of course, on utterly demolished candy shop. Thousands of dollars in repairs, at minimum, as Stan estimated to Dipper when he asked.

"And that's from Mabel as a werewolf," Dipper gulped. "You think all of them are that strong?" Dipper asked Grunkle Stan, who shook his head.

"I got a feeling its because it's Mabel we're dealing with here, and not some other joe-schmoe. The girl's got a heck of a punch."

As Dipper silently nodded, the two cars left the shaken and scared little town. Their return to the Mystery Manor was quick, and as they stepped towards the entrance, Wendy met with them, hands at her side and a calmed look about her.

"Yuki has her and waddles in his room," she told them as they approached. "So far, it seems okay."

"Right. She's tied up, right?" Stan asked quickly. Wendy blinked for a moment, giving Stan the answer he hated. "Great. Soos, bring the rope."

"Wait!" Dipper ran ahead of them, arms to his side, "if she's already resting, tying her up may just upset her again and make her aggressive!"

"You just want to let her get another chance to run around and break things?" Stan demanded of his nephew. Dipper gritted his teeth together, not backing down. "Kid, seriously? We saw first hand what she can do! She could do that again to the town, or worse, do it here!"

"Even if we do tie her up, there's no way with that rope she'll actually be stopped," Dipper eyed Soos's length of rope tied around him, "she'd just tear through it."

"Then-" Stan started, but Dipper raised his volume.

"Just let me handle her!" he demanded, and before Stan could react, he spun on his heel and marched away.

His feet marching against the planks of wood, he stepped into the hallway and approached the door. He could hear the quieting calls of Grunkle Stan and Soos behind him, but her could have cared less. He knew what was going to do. Knocking softly on the door, he heard a quiet reply.

"Dipper?" Yuki called. The male twin pushed the door open and swiveled his head inside. Yuki was on a seat by his bed, where Waddles the pig and his sister were snuggled around one another. Mabel's ears were perked up and turned towards Dipper, giving him the idea she would awaken if he made any more noise. He forced a smile onto his face, and closed the door softly behind him.

He couldn't go in there without disturbing his sister, and if he did, who knows how she would react? Dipper was too tired for another rampage like that. In fact, he was too tired to move. The closed door behind him suddenly felt very comfortable, and his eyes closed.

When Dipper snorted awake almost ten hours later, he was shocked to feel heavier than he did the night before. On top of that, he wasn't cold, something odd for sleeping in the middle of the hallway the entire night. A heavy blanket had been draped over his shoulders, and he sighed. He would have to thank someone later for their consideration.

"Morning, dude," Wendy's voice startled Dipper into slamming his head against the door.

"Wendy!" Dipper shouted, as he rubbed his head, "you're here?"

"Yeah man. Wasn't going to leave when stuff could still go down," she told him, leaning on the railing of the stairs animatedly, and walking down them to sit beside Dipper. "How you feeling?"

"Ugh... stiff," he admitted, stretching his back. "What time is it?"

"Eight," she told him. Dipper gasped. "I know, right?"

"Hey, what about your familiy?" Dipper asked her, and she easily shrugged, falling against the wall as she slid next to him.

"I texted 'em. They can deal with me being here for a night," she told Dipper. "Besides, I think this was more important than heading home. Especially since, you know, Mabel."

"Right," Dipper nodded and yawned. He eyed Wendy again, amazed that she looked so... awake. "You got sleep, right?" he asked her worriedly.

"Pfft, sleep is for the weak, man," she said, but then yawned for a brief moment. Dipper chuckled and she joined him after a moment. As he calmed himself from his delirious laughter, he noticed her stare. She was studying him with a strange intensity. As if he was doing something odd. Had he acted weird around he?

"Wendy, you okay?" he asked her. She blinked and looked away.

"Nah. I'm just glad everyone is okay. Well, no one was hurt. The town is kind of freaking out that a wolf ran around town trying to eat people," Wendy admitted, "but no one was actually hurt."

"What?" Dipper asked her, and she strode up and left him for a moment. Returning briefly, she tossed him the paper.

"Monstrous wolf terrorizes town; local populace calls for stricter animal control polices?" Dipper read aloud, "I guess Toby got the big story first."

"Apparently he was right there. I was reading it earlier," Wendy admitted, "like, right at the candy shop when Mabel jumped through it."

Dipper let the paper fall next to him, allowing Wendy to claim her paper back from him. The previous night, and all the chaos that had come from it, it was still real. Nothing had reverted since then. Mabel was probably still in Yuki's bed with Waddles, resting however well a werewolf with a stomach full of candy could. He looked to his shirt, with a three-clawed incision at the side where Mabel had narrowly missed hitting him.

She was dangerous now.

The door behind Dipper buckled, and he stood. Yuki stepped out, looking as well rested and awake as Wendy.

"You are awake," Yuki noted to Dipper, and then looked to Wendy, "and... you are present?"

"Yup, and accounted," she gave him a smirk.

"Mabel is stirring," he informed them. Dipper saw the red-head eye him from the corner of his vision, and he had but to glance once at her for her to sigh a nod.

"Yuki, let's go find Soos. We need to fix the twin's window before Stan gets all prissy with us," Wendy clapped her arm around the alien's neck and pulled him away, giving Dipper a nod. He was free to check on his sister. With a gulp, he stepped inside.

Yuki's room was the same space that Dipper had once tried to win over from Grunkle Stan three years ago. The bed was a double, and lying in a curled pile around the awake and content pig, was Mabel. Her hair was knotted and tangled, with candy floss still woven inside. Not a single trace of her fur remained, and Dipper slowly sat down next to her. The gently cry of the springs and oink of Waddles coerced Mabel to awaken.

"Dipper... ah, I feel horrible," she groaned, slowly opening her eyes as she pushed herself up, patting Waddles. "I... where am I?" she looked around frantically, her eyes widening as she realized she wasn't in her bed.

"Yuki's room. Waddles apprently wanted you in here, and Yuki wasn't sleeping tonight anyway," Dipper told her. She blinked and turned to face him, and then she spotted it- the cuts in his clothes. She gasped, a hand covering her mouth as tears started forming in her eyes. A barely audible curse floated from Dipper as he held a hand over the cut fabric. "It's fine, you just got a bit excited and, uh, rough-housed with me," Dipper tried lying.

"I... I tried hurting you," she hiccuped, her breaths growing faster and more frantic. "Dipper what else did I do?" she asked. A tightness grew in his throat, and he shook his head.

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are. Your eyebrow is doing that thing when you lie," she pointed out, and sniffled, "who did I hurt?"

"No one!" Dipper called as he stood, and showed his back to her, and then spun quickly. Mabel had also spotted the back cuts on his shirt as well.

"You look exhausted!" she cried, wiping her eyes, "oh my god. I tried killing you, didn't I?"

"No, Mabel-"

"Just tell me, okay?" she cut him short, fear so prominent in her eyes that Dipper could almost see it in her teardrops. "No one... died?"

"No one," he told her.

"Right," she nodded, not entirely convinced. "I'm... I'm now an actual monster. No more 'pretending to be a killer'," she cried, holding an arm to her face, "I'm now an actual... killing machine."

Dipper strode over, sat down, and grabbed her into a strong hug. He couldn't say a thing he could think of to calm her. He had thought it too. He could never, never say it to her face, never dare to crush her like she was to herself then. The most he could do is remind her that he was still there. Mabel finally hugged back, and sobbed.

An hour later, after letting Dipper catch her up on the events of the night before, he managed to pull her into the gift shop, where Mabel and Yuki stood, and Soos slept on the floor behind the counter, snoring. Grunkle Stan finally showed up, in his usual morning robe and grungy sleep-wear. To the immense surprise of those awake, he wasn't a furious, sleepy fuss-ball.

"Mabel," he had said, and quickly embraced her, "you're okay?"

"Eh, for someone who just learned that you practically destroyed an entire town and also tried killing your friends and family," Mabel shrugged, "I could be worse."

"Tough, aren't you?" Grunkle Stan gave her a warm, worn smile, and she couldn't help but reply in kind. Grunkle Stan looked to her brother. "Tell me we have a plan. If that was supposed to be the kiddy-phrase of a werewolf, we need a solution for her now."

Right away, Dipper opened up the journal, and began leafing through the pages towards werewolves. Between him getting to the correct page, Soos woke and Arline stumbled in, exhausted and sore. Apologies to both of them came from Mabel, and Dipper acknowledged he had found the proper section.

"So... I'm not seeing anything else other than those three options," Dipper explained, "wolfsbane, silver bullet, or the heart of the werewolf who bit her- Folbrow the hunter."

"And we've established that we're not killing Mabel," Grunkle Stan commanded around to those present. Someone started to enter the shop, presumably one of those also staying in the rooms. "BUSINESS MEETING- COME BACK LATER!" Stan bellowed, scaring away whoever was beginning to enter. "Yeesh. To early for freaking customers."

"So we kill the werewolf," Wendy sighed, hands in her pockets as she frowned. "I don't know if that sounds like the right thing to do."

"I agree," Mabel nodded. "The last thing I need to know is that I _actually_ killed someone."

"Mabel, sweetheart," Stan looked to her with a pained expression, "we're not running with a lot of options here."

"So I have to kill someone to cure myself?" Mabel demanded angrily, and her grand uncle shrugged. "No way, José."

"I don't like it, but Mister Pines may be right," Soos acknowledged, his hand scratching his opposite arm. Mabel scoffed at him, but Soos continued. "C'mon Hambone, if that crazy nut in the woods had his way, he would have killed one of you, wouldn't he?"

"He could try it again too," Arline darkly added. "I warned him, but a warning isn't, by any means, a true restriction."

"Huh, I'll you that," Grunkle Stan crossed his arms and nodded.

"There has to be more than just those three," Dipper mumbled, daring to turn a page. What he found one page ahead confused him. A dear morphed into a businesswoman, in full work skirt and business jacket. "The heck is this?" Dipper's question brought the attention of the group, and he read aloud.

"Rare due to the slim chances of surviving a werewolf attack," he read aloud, "a were-man is the entire opposite of a were-animal. An animal is afflicted with lycanthropy, and during the full moon, or its close phases, turns into a human being, complete with all human capacity."

"Wait... so there could be people running around at night who aren't actually... people," Soos asked, and shuddered.

"What?" Wendy asked him, eying him.

"That's just weird," Soos told her, and she shrugged.

"The strangest aspect of the were-man is not the transformation, but the polarity of their bite," Dipper gasped and turned to the group, his eyes wide with excitement, "for it is said that a bite from a were-man acts, should they bite a human were-animal, reverses both parties involved. Mabel," Dipper told her excitedly, "we may just have to find a were-man and convince him to bite you!"

"Ah, cool! And ew," she added, "just some random person comes up and bites me?"

"Aaaand reminding you of the alternative," Dipper commented. Mabel's expression went entirely neutral and placid.

"Fair point, broseph," she granted him.

"How do we tell the difference between a normal person and a were-man?" Arline asked to Dipper, who smiled expectantly. "You already know?"

"Well, mister author already had an answer for us," Dipper smirked and read aloud, "since lycanthropy is a magical curse, the same mild effects occur in Were-men as they do in others- they retain certain aspects of their standard animal. This can be seen either visually or in behavior; sometimes both," Dipper looked away from the journal and grinned, "so what we need to do is keep an eye for this kind of person- a well dressed person at night who carries mild aspects of an animal!"

"We don't even have proof that there are-"

Dipper cut off Grunkle Stan's protest. "Unless anyone else has a good idea to what to do..."

No one spoke. Grunkle Stan grumbled, and looked to Mabel, who seemed the most worried, as it was to be expected.

"I'll be changing at the same time that he will be," she told them," so... we should tie me up tonight."

The day passed slowly. Dipper and Mabel spent most of it together quietly in their room, making forced idle chatter to ease each other's mind. When the sun began to set, the twins moods began to unsettled further. Mabel was in upright panic, and Dipper was stressing along with her.

"What if I break free?"

"Or we can't find him?"

"Then I could kill someone!"

"And you'd only have one more night before you went full werewolf for good!"

"Ugh, Dipper-"

"I know," he nodded and fell back on his bed, pulling at his hair. She too sat on her bed, pulling at her bangs of hair one at a time. Their despairing gazes met, only imbedding into them the same fear and panic that they wanted to avoid; a reflection into the desperation inside their own bodies. A knock at their door broke their exchanging fears. Soos poked his head in.

"Hey dudes. We should probably get that plan rolling," he told them.

Like zombies out of the grave, the two of them marched out of their rooms, entirely silent with exception to their steps against the floor, the which seemed to rattled through their bodies. They were empty inside, only with their eyes on the future and the hoplessness of the situation.

Down the stairs and into the gift shop again they went. Stan, Arline and Yuki approached Mabel, and took her away, moving towards the aliens' room. Dipper turned as Mabel did, exchanging one final glance before they headed off their separate ways.

"Okay, you two," Dipper gulped as he spoke to Wendy and Soos, "let's go."

"What?" Wendy asked.

"C'mon Wendy, those three are watching Mabel. I need your help in the town," Dipper asked her pleadingly.

"But I..." Wendy looked to Dipper, and that gaze wore away at her strange resistance, "you're right. I'll patrol the, uh, edge of town, okay?"

"Sure," Dipper nodded as they moved outside, passing into the dying sunlight. The idea was to be in the town by the time the werewolf curse set in. "Soos you left your phone with Arline?"

"Sure did, bud," Soos nodded.

"Okay. Let's move out."

Dipper drove them into town, his fingers pacing along the edge of his wheel. He could imagine Mabel sitting in the bed, or lying down, tied up and being watched by the three. The three most physically capable were guarding over her. Dipper worried there could be a worse implication if the werewolf side of Mabel found itself trapped in a corner that it might lash out, but he couldn't afford to think like that anymore. He needed to cure her.

Wendy was let out, by request, on the edge of town. Dipper saw her fade into the darkness as they approached the quiet center of town. Less people were out than the previous night, probably due to the fear of another wolf-creature attack. Soos was dropped on one side of the town center, and Dipper parked closer to the lake-side of town. He could see the edge of the water far in the distance, behind the legion of trees as he parked and pulled himself from his seat into the cold air.

Then the sun set, and the moon shone above. It was now, or never. And he was on borrowed time.

Dipper stared around himself. He was alone.

More minutes passed. His darting eyes flickered around town in frantic, racing sweeps. Scanning again and again for movement of any kind. Even more time passed, reaching half and hour, and Dipper became furious.

How could life do this to him? Give him hope and then dash it so? He had been given a chance to cure his sister; the sister who jumped in the line of fire, for him, and now he couldn't even manage to cure her. He just needed to find one, stinking little...

Someone, just out of Dipper's vision, stepped out from a bush, and very deliberatly walked down the street. He gasped and blinked. Walking hurriedly to catch up with the man, he stared and took in the form. Blue business suit, a strange tie of brown and tan criss-crossing pattern, and a fabric belt. As the man ahead, with thick course brown hair, glanced around, Dipper saw a very prominent feature.

Buck Teeth. Dipper grinned despite his worry and raced ahead.

"Hey! Beaver!" Dipper dared shout.

The man ahead of him jumped- actually jumped and spun in his tracks, holding his arms up to shield himself from Dipper.

"I swear I didn't mean to take it! I was just scared and wanted protection! I'll return the chainsaw one day!" the man called to Dipper as he ran up to the man.

"I- you took the chainsaw? The one on beaver island?" Dipper asked the man with buck teeth. "Oh. I always wondered what was up with that."

"I... wait, I've seen you before," the man said, leaning closer to Dipper, "you're that boy... with the sister who looks just like you."

"Yeah, and you're a were-man, aren't you?" Dipper inquired of the man before him, who nervously prodded his fingers together, and eyed his surroundings.

"I... yes. Yes I am. I've been cursed with were-manism for years," the were-man declared sadly, "and I return each full moon to muse in my eternal tortue."

"What? Being a human isn't that bad," Dipper told him. The man scoffed.

"You ever try being a beaver? Pretty easy life," the man told him. Dipper prepared a retort, but shook his head. He was wasting time.

"What if I told you I had a cure for you?" Dipper proposed, "a cure that will also help someone else, who needs your help."

"... what do you mean, kid?" the beaver-man asked, leaning in.

"My sister got bitten by a werewolf. If you bite her," Dipper told him quickly, "you... turn back into a normal beaver, and she turns into a normal human!"

"That sounds impossible! And werewolves are dangerous!" the beaver man worried aloud.

"Really? Because I keep hearing that the most dangerous animal is 'mankind'," Dipper said in dramatic, ominous tones. The beaver gasped and nodded.

"It's true! I've had many egotistical thoughts of animal slaughter as a human! I... I'll trust you, kid," the beaver shrugged, "after all, the worst that comes of this is that some more of you discover my secret."

"Okay, follow me," Dipper turned on his heel, and raced towards his car, about to call Wendy.

Somewhere distant in the woods, a similar howl filled the night air. Dipper gasped and spun around, looking towards the hill that blocked off the mystery manor. His phone rang for him, and without looking at it, he answered.

"D-dipper," Arline gasped as she called him, "she got out. She's... not herself tonight."

"Where is she going?" Dipper demanded.

"I think... to find Folbrow."

Dipper closed the phone. Looking once to the were-man behind him, who eyed the hills as well with fear, Dipper grasped his sleeve and yanked him along as he ran towards the car. He handed the were-man the phone. "Text the number 'Wendy', tell her I have to save Mabel, and I can come back for her later," Dipper told him as they jumped into the car, and he started the engine.

"O-okay," the beaver nodded and started poking away at the cell phone.

Dipper would be taking a leaf out of Mabel's book. Speed limit would not be listened to this night. The car's engines screamed as he floored the gas pedal and flung himself and the beaver back into the seats.

He couldn't let Mabel get to him. She might cure herself, and that would certainly solve a lot of immediate problems, but if Mabel allowed herself to kill anyone, anyone at all, she would hate herself. Pure, and utter hate only for herself, a deep loathing not even Dipper would be able to dispel. He couldn't let her do that to herself.

The tires could have been on fire as the car flew down the street out of Gravity Falls. Dipper had entirely passed Soos, who gasped as he zoomed by. Dipper was even sure that he spotted Wendy, saluting him to race for his sister, but it never really settled in his brain.

He only had to get to her. That's all he allowed himself to think. Even if the police tried pulling him over, they would have to shoot out the tires to his ride, and then hand cuff him into their patrol car before he stopped himself.

He remembered where he had run into Folbrow last time. Just across the street from the old Gleeful house, Dipper came to a screeching stop, the long black skid marks trailing behind his car as he blasted the air with the smell of burning rubber.

"You certainly understand a speedy arrival," the were-man admitted as Dipper shoved himself out of the car. "Hey! Wait!" the man said, slightly tangled in the seat, "you need me to help-"

Dipper didn't wait for him. He was already in the trees, running as fast as his adrenaline pumped legs could push him. The world was slowing down as he felt sweat pouring down his face. Not from exhaustion- he couldn't feel that now. He was too fearful. Mabel could easily overwhelm the older, and most recently beaten up werewolf. She held her own as a human, but she may near instantly kill him as a werewolf.

He couldn't let her.

The air grew colder. Mist was collecting along the sides of him as he ran, blazing a cutting trail through the grey clouds moisture. The stomping of his feet heralding his coming, Dipper eyed the darkness around him. The vision of the boy had adjusted a while ago, but even so, he had to really inspect every single grey outline of a tree.

He needed to find her.

Mabel couldn't kill him.

Dipper would not let her hate herself.

A howl stalled Dipper, and he turned to his right. There was snarling and gnashing. Struggle, snapping of twigs and branches.

A fight.

Dipper gasped and lunged ahead. Passing tree on the right, on the left, weaving around one, two, three, four-

Dipper skid to a stop as he saw the carnage before him. Folbrow wasn't just being beaten. Pulverized was a closer descriptor. Mabel slammed her large fist into his face, and the male werewolf reeled and howled in pain. She clawed as his chest and bled him. Again and again she struck and injured the already very slow looking creature. If Dipper had thought Arline was tough on the former hunter, he hadn't imagined the brutality an enraged Mabel could create.

Folbrow fell back. Landing by the side of a tree, the werewolf moaned and whimpered, looking up to the outline of Mabel in the dim starlight. Dipper moved, racing around her. His movement caught her attention, and she stepped back, growling.

"Mabel!" he shouted, and stepped between them, just out of reach for Fulbrow, should he have decided to take a swipe at him. "Mabel, that's enough! You've hurt him! You're done."

His werewolf sister growled and snarled at him, but did not approach.

"C'mon Mabel, this isn't you!" he shouted. "You'd never want to kill anyone. Even someone as bad as him!"

"I DO!" she yelled back. Dipper blinked and gasped. It was her voice, but it shook and trembled with hate and anger.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked.

"He did this to me!" she growled, pointing a clawed finger to herself, "he made me this! Look what he made me do! What I could have done to you!" she pointed to him, and Dipper looked back at the barely conscious opponent werewolf.

"But you didn't," Dipper told her calmly. She barked, shocking him for a moment.

"Not yet! I'm angry, Dipper! I REALLY ANGRY!" she shouted, red flaring in the center of her pupils. "I just feel so... ANGRY!"

"I know, I believe you," Dipper held his hands further out, trying to remind her that his side hadn't changed. "Mabel, what you think when you went back to your normal self?" Mabel snarled and turned away. A streak of light reflected the moon above her, and Dipper realized she was crying. "Mabel, you have a right to hate him. I hate him. But you don't really want to sink to his low, do you?"

"Dipper, get out of my way," she demanded in a snarl, her glowing brown eyes starting to share a hint of deep red.

"Mabel, don't do it. You know you can't live with yourself if you do," Dipper told her, shaking at the knees as she stepped closer. She was even taller than he remembered. "Mabel?" he tried again, but only more growls, a trembling lip exposing her white teeth. "Mabel!" he shouted and she roared into his face, knocking him to the ground.

Dipper fell and stared up at her, her figure wrapped in the moonlight above. She eyed him and then Folbrow. A horrible smirk stretched on her lips as she stepped forward-

"AHA!"

The wereman lunged out of the shadows behind her and bit down on her neck with his teeth. Mabel roared and spun around frantically, grasping at the sudden man. Several spins later, she grasped him by the arm and hurled him into the woods.

"Were-man!" Dipper shouted in panic. He had hoped the effects of the bite would be instant, but as the man flew into the woods, he heard the reverberating crash of a solid body against a tree. He wanted to stand, rush after the poor soul- but someone else was falling before him.

Mabel, still in werewolf form was losing focus in her eye. That red faded away quickly, along with the glowing proponent. Her ears slowly receeded to rest aside her head, and Dipper last saw her face as she fell forward, limp and face-first into the ground. Without hesitation he stood and raced to her side, sliding against loose dirt as he lifted her onto his lap. The fur was receding, her face sinking back into human proportions. Claws fell away, her legs re-assembled themselves into standard bi-pedal human legs.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled sweetly at him.

"Hey Dip. You look like a dork in the moonlight."

She was back. His normal, teasing sister; Mabel was back.

"How do you feel?" he dared ask her.

"Less furry," she answered quietly, and she groaned, "did... I hurt anyone?"

"You got Fulbrow messed up, but he's still alive," he assured her, and she nodded, pursing her lips.

"Okay... good, I guess," she said earnestly.

"Can you stand?" he asked Mabel. She shrugged and pushed her way up. He followed along side her progress vertically, ensuring she wouldn't collapse onto herself. When she stood, Mabel did buckle, and Dipper was there, keeping her upright with his helping hand.

"You saved me," she told him.

"No I-" Dipper's modest assurance was muffled as she hugged him with her entire weight. "Well... you're welcome then."

"I love you, you dumb doofus," she chuckled with a croaky throat.

"I love you too, you crazy goofnut," he replied. As the two held their hug, a static shock passed their brains, and the simultaneously said-

"Pat, pat," as they patted each others backs.

Pressing herself off of Dipper while wiping her eyes, which Dipper followed suit, feeling a few rogue tears of his own, they looked around. Fulbrow stared fearfully at them, holding his arms closer to his chest.

"You," Mabel pointed to him," get this straight. We give people three strikes. This?" Mabel pointed to herself, "that was number two. Come back, and you're out. Got it?" The werewolf nodded, and began to pull itself away, whimpering as it struggled to gain distance between them with only one arm.

"Oh no!" Dipper then remembered a certain someone thrown into the trees a few minutes prior. Leaving Mabel's side, he rushed through the bushes, and found, resting at the bottom of a tree, a motionless beaver. "Oh... oh no," Dipper approached it, afraid to touch it- for fear he could cause it harm.

"Dip? What is it?" Mabel called, approaching the bushes.

"Mabel, stay there," he commanded her, not noticing any movement to the beaver.

"Dipper, what is it?!" she demanded, and pushed forward anyway.

"Mabel, I said stay back!" he turned and stood, trying to block the sight of the motionless animal, but it was too late. She had seen it.

"Oh... no..." she gasped, and rushed forward and kneeled next to it. "I..."

"No- Mabel- don't- it wasn't your-"

Dipper moved next to her, but she grasped him by the collar and buried her head into his vest, sobbing. They tried so hard. Dipper had raced as hard as he could to ensure Mabel wouldn't hurt a soul. Yet here, at the bottom of the tree, was the one true victim of the werewolf Mabel once was.

Then the beaver chirped and stood up. Mabel and Dipper gasped, and Dipper groaned loudly.

"C'mon dude!" he told the beaver, who waddled around to face him, "you- you had me worried there for a second!"

"Are you okay, little guy?" Mabel asked the animal, who stared at her.

"Hey?" Dipper tried catching the Beaver's attention, but it just stared at him blankly. "Hello? I... I don't think he can understand us any more," Dipper told his sister sadly. "He got what he wanted in the end, didn't he-"

Two rocking steps later, and the beaver stepped up to Dipper and hugged him gently around the leg. Mabel watched and cooed loudly as the animal nuzzled against Dipper for a minute, and then started waddling away, moving deeper into the forest.

"I can't believe that worked out this well," Dipper admitted, looking to Mabel with an effortless, wide smile. "So many times this could have gone badly for us, you know?"

"Maybe Mabel the werewolf wasn't as bad as it could have been?" she suggested to Dipper, who groaned.

"No way. You already make fun of me for not having enough man-hair," Dipper poked her nose, which prompted a raspberry from her in response, "how could I possibly live up to you if you always had more hair than me?"

"It was fur, not hair, actually," Mabel corrected him, "and I bet it looked lovely."

"Right. I'll remind you that you tried to tackle pretty much every boy in Gravity Falls with that fur," Dipper told her as they started walking away from the site of the struggle, leaving Fulbrow to his pains.

"Oh shush! The Mabel will triumph in her pursuit in love, no matter what!" she decreed to the night around them, and the twins laughed, departing away.

Even as they marched through the dark woods, laughing and chatting to themselves in the light of the high moon, not even the distant howls of other werewolves could deter them from enjoying each other's company.

* * *

Imagine Dragons- I Bet my Life.

There you go- a little song for the ending.

Man, what a roller coaster ride, huh? I had some fun with this one, and I'll be honest- this was supposed to be one of the chapters had didn't have much to it. You know- the token werewolf episode to a paranormal/mystery series? Yet, man oh man, I bet some of you guys are noticing some things in this one.

Well, I hope so at least. I'll admit the editing in this one will probably be atrocious, but hopefully you can see past them? Hehehe?

Also- HAHAH! I loved that last Episode- Northwest Manor. (puts on an Alex Hirsch Mask) Ah, yes, I'm Alex Hirsch. And I'm totally reading this story to get ideas. (takes off the mask) but joking aside, I'm getting kind of weirded out. I mean- the poltergiest in episode 1 of season two turned people into small animals, animated all the stuff animals, and both of these episode mocked shows that air that kind of stuff- "Watch People go to Places" vs "The Used to Be About History" Channel. Seriously. Travel Channel vs History? ALEX! ARE YOU THERE!? :O

Okay, now that my bragging is done, I can bid thee all farewell. Next episode is called 'Mammoth Problems', and a particular blonde is coming back to the show again! Until then, see you next time- (A mob of fans burst through EZB's door, trample him, and then parade out with the mask of Alex Hirsch's face.)

* * *

**Dro Gkbvymu qbygc swzkdsoxd.**


	29. Mammoth Problems: Part 1

Breathe. So simple and easy to do that the very first moment an infant enters the world, they already are aware of how to gather it and let it out in a cry. The air around babies and elders alike give life, and flow through the bodies of those who connect to it on a deeper level.

Mabel let her breath slow down as she closed her eyes. Sweat slid down her arms and legs as an uncaring sun beat down on her and the region of Gravity Falls. The grass beneath her toes, she slowly moved from one stance to another. Her arms floated firmly but not stiffly around her as she graced the air in painfully slow speeds. This wasn't by choice, she would tell anyone who listened. But someone next to her performed the same dance, at the same pace, and the same tempo.

Mabel knew Dipper was sitting by the couch, watching her and her master go through a brief training exorcize. This would be the first time she really felt like she had to actually impress her competitive brother; after all, she had gone through such lengths to make sure he could start catching up with her. How would he feel if she couldn't even follow in pace with her own master?

"You're thinking too much," Arline suddenly whispered. Mabel blinked, but then closed her eyes and continued. "Work now, think later."

"Right," Mabel replied, letting more air pass over her lips, escaping into the boundless forest before her. She was in darkness. A safe place of her own energies and mind, which was entirely at her command. The trick was not letting giving herself a command, but letting itself sit at ease, content in the idea of meditation.

"Okay," Arline sighed and lowered her foot, "I think that's enough for now."

"Okee-dokee," Mabel agreed and followed suit, and quickly shook herself loose. "Phew! Been a while since I did that, huh?" she asked her master.

"You're a little rusty, but don't worry about it," Arline patted her shoulder as they turned back towards the Mystery Manor.

"That was rusty?" Dipper asked with a fearful gulp, "man, Mabel, I must be a total loser then."

"That's because you're a cute little newbie," she declared, prodding his forehead.

"I'm not cute," Dipper scowled and adjusted his hat to cover his forehead.

"Mmm cutie pa-tootie," Mabel chuckled and landed on the couch next to him with her rear, sighing and relaxing. "Gosh, it really is hot, isn't it? I didn't realize how much of a hog I smell like," she giggled, flicking away the droplets of sweat as Waddles rounded the corner, aware of her training being completed.

"Just keep that 'open mind' practice... in mind?" Arline tried finishing with concision, but only shrugged, "you know what I mean," she pointed to Mabel, who snickered and battered her eyelashes at her master. "Dipper, you should hop in some time and join."

"Ah, no, I'd just slow you two down," Dipper chuckled, and dug himself deeper into his journal, which he was scanning for the day.

"Being scared of failure is what stopped countless people with more potential than even me," Arline told Dipper with such a burst of wisdom that he blinked and stared at her. "Consider it, huh? I've wanted to see how well you train if you learned how to kick that high in only a month of training with your sister."

"Well, I guess it can't hurt," Dipper agreed to Arline's laugh.

"But it totally can!" Mabel smirked at Dipper, leaning close to invade his personal space. He replied and shoved her away.

"Okay you two. I'm going to be in town for the day," she told them as she turned and headed towards the motel rooms beside the building.

"Huh? What for?" Mabel inquired, receiving a nudge from Dipper. "Hey," she grumbled to him.

"Mind your business," Dipper reprimanded her.

"I'm just catching up with my landlord and an old friend who I recently got back in touch with. He'll love to know that I'm moving around again. He's kind of always pushing me to go do stuff," she chuckled and rolled her eyes, and turned away, waving her hand behind her. "Talk to you two later."

"Bye!" Dipper called.

"Have fun with all the silly townsfolk!" Mabel called after her master, and then lifted up waddles to the couch. "Awww, are you a little hot today, buddy?" Mabel asked the pig, who quietly snorted.

"Give him a bath then," Dipper noted over his book.

"Bath-smath!" Mabel declared. "What he needs is a proper mud puddle."

"Uh, sure okay," Dipper snorted and nodded to his sister. Mabel leaned onto his shoulder and looked into the journal. There was a lot of annotation she didn't recognize.

"Been adding stuff?"

"Just a few things," Dipper said, "I figured it was a good idea to specify certain things. Like werewolf-ism- you can talk during the later transformations. That wasn't mentioned in here," he told her, "and the way they wrote it made it sound like you as a werewolf should have been able to speak during your first transformation."

"Well sorry I was too hungry for sweet things," Mabel stuck her tongue out in protest and leaned on her pink pig. "Anything else?"

"Well, I had to add in the giant spiders page they can grow larger than trucks, I've tacked on the aliens section a lot since Yuki joined us, and I added that Tulpas may love music, since the form they assume had probably never heard it before. I'm still thinking about that one though," Dipper admitted, rattling the end of his pen against his lips.

As he had spoken, Arline walked past them, a new top and pants on, much more suited for town life and hiking than her workout with Mabel, with which she had worn dark robes with a red belt. Mabel waved to her and she returned the action, smiling as she left.

"My friends," a voice called to them from the door, and the twins looked up. Yuki was pressing his face against the door. "Perchance I might ask for a minor service later?" he asked them worriedly.

"Yuki, come on outside," Mabel asked him with a snicker.

"Ah, your grand uncle has informed me that I should remain inside while I still have work remaining," he informed them sadly, prodding his fingers together, "although, I know not what task he refers to."

"Well then, what is you need?" Dipper closed the book shut and turned fully to their friend.

"I have long heard of human gatherings known as 'carnivals'," Yuki stated, catching the attention of the twins, "and I understand that there is one coming in the next days to this small town."

"There's a carnival coming to Gravity Falls?" Mabel gasped.

"Yes," Yuki nodded excitedly, "and I understand they are a dying tradition in this culture. I... understand that they are looked down upon by the age demographic the two of you represent," he admitted with concern to the twins, "but I implore you- let me see this spectacle. I will live many human lives on this planet, and I know not how many times I would be able to witness them."

"Aww, of course we'll take you," Mabel told him sweetly, "you shy-guy, you!"

"Sure Yuki. We'll make it a date probably," Dipper nodded. Mabel snickered and elbowed him gently.

"Yeah, but Dipper won't call it that if Wendy comes alo-" Two strong hands quickly wrapped themselves over Mabel's mouth.

"Ha, ha, we'll take you whenever you need, Yuki," Dipper grinned a plastic smile, and the Alien looked with a tempered concern before turning back inside. As the darker tanned teenage looking alien left, Dipper rounded on his sister, who bit his fingers. "OW! Mabel!" he hissed.

She rolled her eyes and leaned back. "At least you could pretend like she still knows what you said to her," she told him calmly. Dipper's mouth flapped open and closed, stalling for words, and probably cohesive thoughts. "C'mon bro," Mabel shook her head, "it isn't that hard to ask her for a solid answer."

"Would you- shush," Dipper eyed the door again.

"Fiiine," Mabel grumbled, scratching waddles behind the ears. Dipper finally turned back and glared at her.

"Look, I've been thinking about it. Okay? I'm not just ignoring it!" his voice was low and fast, but Mabel's constantly hyperactive mind was able to keep pace, "but there's been some... weird things I've noticed."

"That's called puberty dude," Mabel snickered, and Dipper growled at her.

"Would you take me seriously for a moment?" he demanded, and she shrugged. But as Dipper opened his mouth to continue, his eyes flickered towards the road as Mabel heard something. They both turned their head. Someone had darted between the trees, coming closer to the Mystery Manor. Blonde hair was tied under a large scarf and dark sunglasses had caught the rays of the sun while the figure bounced back and forth across the dirt and gravel path. "Is that who I think it is?" Dipper asked as the person ran across the path again, displaying in-fashion garb.

"Pacifica?" Mabel asked, standing from the couch, to which her brother remained rooted.

The head of Pacifica Northwest popped out from the light bushes along side the path, and scanned. It was like she were a radar dish, inspecting the scene before her for any possible threats. When it was evident she spotted none, her head temporarily vanished back inside and she walked around the plants in her usual stride.

"Hi Pacifica!" Mabel waved her hand to the blonde, who gasped and ran forward.

"Don't use my name here!" she demanded.

"Oh... hi... blonde girl?" Mabel tried again.

"Better. Just call me 'a visitor you don't know' for now," Pacifica told her, checking behind the brunette towards the motel rooms, "I don't need any of those outsiders knowing that I come to this place for anything."

"Yeah, because the truth certainly sucks, doesn't it?" Dipper called from the couch, to which he glared at Pacifica.

"You could talk," she returned the smart comment to Dipper, who clenched his jaw.

"Pacifica, what is it?" Mabel stepped between them. She slowly removed her sunglasses and sighed.

"Shade. I don't want to ruin my make up in this heat," she asked Mabel quietly. No problems there, Mabel thought, and guided her to the shaded couch, to which Dipper's scowls grew harsher. "I need your help."

"Nothing new there," Dipper quickly bit.

"Yes, okay, you were right, smart guy," Pacifica rounded on him, bending over and glaring into his face," move on, 'oh savior of mankind'," Pacifica turned back to Mabel. "I know you two are probably really mad at me for trying to kick you out, but I can make this up for you."

"Well, shoot for it," Mabel asked, leaning on the wooden post supporting the roof above them.

"There's a carnival coming to town-" she started.

"We already know," Dipper sighed, rolling his eyes, "Yuki wanted to go to it."

"Would you let me _finish_?" Pacifica demanded of him, and he held his hands up, shaking his head.

"I just wish you would," Dipper muttered.

"Okay," she breathed heavily, "there's supposed to be a freak show section. Now, I had a host of actors ready to play the usual mutants and what not, but... well, damn it Tambry," Pacifica lifted out from a pocket a very expensive and top-of-the-line smart phone, "she recorded everything!"

On a web-video, as Mabel walked around to sit next to Dipper, the twins could make out the commotion of the panicking audience as a giant spider crawled onto the stage and tried attacking Pacifica. It cut out just after Arline leapt onto the stage and attacked the arachnid.

"Oh wow, that's on the internet?" Dipper gasped. "That means people know what happened? Even saw us on stage?"

"Yes! And now people want to know if it's real! The Northwests sponsor just about every single public event that happens in town, and the carnival is no exception," Pacifica explained, "but since people will be coming to town from, well, out of town now, they'll want something like this!" she held up the frozen frame of the spider battling Arline.

"Arline doesn't perform," Mabel told Pacifica with a sad note, "it's not in the path's rules to let other see what we can do."

"I know that. I ran into her on the way here, and she's just like you dumb people. Not into money. What kind of world- Anyway," Pacifica shook her head, "these people from out of town want things that are really... well, you know, out of the ordinary! Something that isn't just an optical illusion."

"Okay, and?" Dipper demanded.

"I need your help," Pacifica sighed and asked them bluntly, "to go find something that I can use for the Northwest exhibit."

"Oh. So you kick us out from your show when you think we're a liability," Dipper quickly bit on the air, "but as soon as you think we're worth something to you-"

"Dipper," Mabel cut into his speech, and he crossed his arms and looked away. Pacifica looked red in the face and mimed his actions, looking the other direction. "Pacifica, there's some dangerous stuff out there, you know. Like, what exactly do you want us to even get? A cute half-cat half-bear?"

"Those exist?" Pacifica turned and gasped, her eyes wide with wonder and possibly shining excitement. She then coughed, and adopted her usual expression of superiority and power, "no, no, it has to be impressive."

Dipper signed, catching both their attentions. Yet his eyes had lost their malice. "Define impressive."

"I'm looking for something inhuman, but possibly friendly that people can interact with," Pacifica explained, "that way people won't just assume it's our usual two million dollar hologram. If they can touch and feel it touch back, we've got this in the bag."

"So cute and fuzzy?" Mabel asked, bounding a little in her stance. "Ohhh, Dipper, we can totally do that!"

"Mabel, you definition of cute and fuzzy isn't standard," Dipper stepped off the couch, hands deeply inserted into his pockets as he stared into the forest, "Pacifica-"

"I know, I have no right to be asking you of this," she quickly said for him, sitting on the couch, and then gasping and angrily groaning as she leapt back up, wiping her hands and rear of any dust and dirt that may have grasped on during her seat. "Dipper, I know we're not on the best terms. Okay? I get it," she said directly to him, letting Mabel watch their talk.

"I... guess you could say that," Dipper shrugged.

"But just help me. If anything, consider this a job, and nothing but that. That way you don't have to worry about me, or you, getting in our ways. Okay?" she told him with a sigh. "Then I'll try extra hard to not bother you anymore. Sound good?" her eyes, unblocked by sunglasses peered into his own, and Dipper's pent up frustration seemed to wither. Mabel bit her lip, trying to hold a growing smile. They still could be friends after all.

"We'll do it," Dipper extended his hand, and Pacifica took it. "No money. But we get a favor from your family if we need one."

"I can't guarantee that!" Pacifica heatedly declared, pulling from the handshake.

"Then no monster," Dipper defiantly told her. The woman before him tightened up, clenching her fists, jaw, bundling her shoulders, but relented.

"Yes, sure. You can have a favor from us," Pacifica nodded with a heavy head. Mabel couldn't resist anymore: she yelped and leapt at the two of them, hugging them as one.

"AWW! Look at you two!" she squeezed them tightly, able to lift them momentarily as they gagged and coughed. "Enemies! Then Friends! Then Awkward stage! Then Enemies! And now back to friends! Gah! You two are just the cutest!"

"Mabel, shush," Dipper groaned as he shook the pain from his shoulder. Pacifica had once again gone red in the face, and walked past Dipper without another word, glasses back on her face. "When do you need the creature?"

"Just bring it to the fair grounds when you have it," Pacifica told them evenly with a single glance back. "Remember. Big enough that you can pet it- but not big enough where it can crush stuff. Like cars. That's too big."

"We got the idea," Dipper shrugged.

"We won't let you down Pacifica!" Mabel assured the blonde as she stepped up next to her brother. Pacifica nodded back to them once, and then started her darting back and forth departure. "You know, she's actually pretty good at that," Mabel noted to her brother, watching Pacifica attempt to hide in the bushes from side to side.

"Sure. Whatever," Dipper granted his sister, and rolled his eyes. "Well," he turned to her, "what are we thinking?" he asked Mabel.

"Cuddly... big enough... and real enough for people to think it's totally real?" Mabel asked Dipper as they returned to the couch together. "What could that possibly be?"

"Well, I have an idea," Dipper grinned as he spoke to Mabel, "because we know someone who meets all those credentials."

Mabel scoffed and shook her head. "Grunkle Stan is not cuddly."

"What- no- ew," Dipper groaned and shook his head. "I'm talking about Multibear!"

"Oh! OH!" Mabel gasped twice, and her mind was flooded with the image of that salvation bear, being ridden by Dipper to her rescue weeks and weeks ago. "I liked him!"

"He's a nice guy, and he is very cuddly if you just relax around him," Dipper told Mabel.

"Cuddly? Really? And you know this how exactly?" Mabel grinned, leaning into her brother with an expectant grin. Her brother averted his eyes from her gaze and cleared his throat.

"Either way, he's a cool guy," Dipper said to the side, "and he might be okay with coming down for a few days."

"Well, since Yuki and Soos fixed the windows, we haven't had anything to do," Mabel shrugged, "maybe we can go up now!"

"Yeah. Yeah!" Dipper nodded and stood up, being traced by Mabel as he did. "Let's let them know we're heading out first."

"And then adventuring awaits!" Mabel punched the air excitedly, "oh man! Finally we'll be able to go to a section of the woods that aren't covered with nasty things."

Mabel followed Dipper through the door, walking past the screen and into the gift shop. As per the usual scene inside the gift shop on a slow day, Wendy had her feet propped up on the counter, nose deep in a magazine. Soos was by the corner, adjusting buttons on the soda machine. Stan was actually in the room, speaking to Yuki.

"Well when they ask if they can have anything other than the room temperature tap, the answer is no!" Stan informed his newest employee, who eyed the twins as they entered. "Heating is expensive! I'm not going to shill out a water heater for each one of those rooms."

"But heating is crucial to destroying bacterium and other harmful pathogens," Yuki debated quietly, "they may become ill."

"Oi. Did the world suddenly forget to have an immune system!?" Grunkle Stan whined, and then let out a hacking cough. He then directed his focus to the twins, "now scram. I'm sure you can find yourself busy with something."

"I suppose recalibrating the refrigerator to require less power can be useful," Yuki sighed and walked away.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel declared loudly, catching the attention of the old man, "Dipper and I are heading out to find and capture a live animal of unknown origin!"

"Again?" He quickly shook his head, "What? Is there a reward for unusual animals that I'm not aware of? Aside from the government sponsored ones. You're not getting tangled with the special agent types again, are you?" he asked worriedly, his eyelids closing to thin lines as he peered suspiciously at them.

"Not unless Pacifica Northwest happens to be a government Agent," Dipper groaned, "no."

"That sorry sack of sass?" Grunkle Stan laughed, "what? Working for her?"

"She wants us to find something and bring it to the carnival in a few days!" Mabel explained, "and we get... faaavooors," Mabel dragged out the word and widened her eyes, looking like a strange, hypnotized insect. Dipper eyed her for a moment, uncertainty in his eyes before he explained.

"Figured that Pacifica could give us money, or we could hold a favor over her head until we actually need something from her family," Dipper explained. Grunkle Stan barked out, a single loud, approving laugh.

"Love it! That's my grand kids for ya! Ripping the rich and well-off like proper pines!" he nodded. "Well, seeing as how this may give me a chance to get a second wave for advertising without being present," Stan puzzled and thought to himself, "then... Soos!" he pointed to the handyman, who spun around instantly, "go help them secure whatever they need in the woods!"

"You got it, Mister Pines!" Soos saluted and tossed the broom to the corner across the room. "Oh man, this is going to be awesome!" Soos told the twins as he rushed over, "we haven't done a proper adventure like this in ages!"

"Oh, what?" Wendy poked her head out from the magazine, "Soos get's to go?"

"Yes. As the employee I trust most with what I task," Stan eyed Wendy with a critical stare, "I'm much more inclined to let him go off on adventures when I see fit."

"Stan, c'mon man," Wendy dropped her feet from the counter, "I'm totally great at helping with those sort of things."

"Besides," Stan peered at her with a strange, almost intimidating look, "shouldn't you still be recovering from that wardrobe thrown at you?"

"What? Oh-" Wendy blinked, and rushed a hand at her back, "right. Duh. My back does kinda hurt," she turned to the three, "well... good luck you guys," she wishfully told them, "go get 'em for me."

"And while you're here," Stan walked over and handed her the broom, "make yourself useful for once," he told her. Wendy groaned, and placed herself back in the same position, feet up and head in a magazine, but also held a hand aside, lazily pushing the end of the boom back and forth, sweeping the same spot over and over.

"Well, I guess we're off," Dipper called to those remaining as he, Mabel, and Soos turned and exited from the building.

"When we come back with a dinosaur, we'll let you know!" Mabel cheered as she rushed out into the sun again.

"Not dinosaur- Multibear," Dipper corrected her.

"Isn't that the gentle-bear who helped out with the five freak friends?" Soos questioned the two of them, and they nodded in response, "awesome! He's totally all... rawr! And Grrr! But also a good hearted bear who enjoys the company of others."

"Right. Well, let's get moving," Dipper told them as he lead the march. He, after all, was the only one who knew the location of Multibear's cave.

As it turned out, it was with good reason Dipper was the only one who, among the group, knew of the cave's location. They hadn't just cleared the initial surrounding forest around the Mystery Manor, but now were heading towards the rocky gaps were Dipper and Mabel had been separated in the chase weeks ago by the five criminals. They passed over the river, where the same log rested above a river cutting into the earth, and even spotted the edge of the cliffs Dipper had told them he and Jessandra had jumped off of and soared away. They were really deep into the forest now. Mabel still wondered, walking with her two friends through the woods, if they would ever see those fairies again.

"I'd prefer not," Dipper admitted, "having someone that vindictive around is freaky."

"Good thing you never met yourself," Mabel snickered.

"I did- wait, what is that supposed to mean?" Dipper stared at her as she gained minor speed, pushing around a tree with a giggle.

Then they met the side of the mountain. The trees gave way to the magnitude of the slope and rocks, rising up into the sky as an impressive throne to a supposed sapient bear. With only a minor worrying thought from Soos, the three began to climb. The further up they ascended, the more barren the mountain became. Far ahead, in the side of the mountain face, a cave awaited. Dipper pointed and exclaimed to his sister.

"There! I can finally show you guys where he lives-"

A large, empty bag of beef jerky flew past Dipper, and gasped and almost fell back into Mabels arms. He gasped as the air became a buzz of cat-calling and taunts, all of which fell into the air from loud, deep voices of manly figures.

"Great, they're here," Dipper groaned and looked to his far right.

"Who?" Mabel asked as she and Soos also turned.

"Manotaurs," Dipper grumbled.

Standing a good hundred feet below them was a cluster of four minotaur-like beings, extremely muscular and top-heavy. Their colors ranged in various furs, and all wore clothing that could be deemed... manly. Torn and worn jeans, old leather vests, bandana, and tattoos covered the fur of these 'Manotaurs'.

"That loser still hasn't built any muscle! Ha! WEAK!"

"What a puny sissy weakling! Three years and he still goes back to BABBA-BEAR! HAHA!"

"Ha! You're not me! That makes you weak! HA!"

"These are the manotaurs?" Mabel asked with a disappointed scowl.

"Yeeaaap," Dipper slowly groaned, eying those below him with discontent. A rumble above him made the three turn, and Dipper gasped. A large, very furry creature with dark grey hair was emerging from the cave.

"Who hollers with such discontent!? Dare disturb my-" Multibear noticed the three looking up at him, "oh. Hello Dipper, friend and sister to Dipper."

"Ohhh, look guys," the middle manotaur pointed to the multi-limbed bear creature, "the _real_ sissy shows himself! Ha! I bet he can't even lift a rock! ABOVE HIS HEAD! HA!"

"Or even put it back down! HAHAHAHA!" the manotaur next to him bellowed with laughter. Perhaps he laughed too hard, for his three companions eyed him.

"Too much, Lift-o-taur. Pull it back," the first speaker told the laughing manotuar, who slowly lowered his enthusiasm, "a little more... just a bit- there. Good."

"Leave me be, belittlers," Multibear snarled at the four below him, catching their attention as he towered above them. "I have no desire for a fight this day, but do not mock my friends!"

"Or what, tough guy!?" The 'leader' of the small group challenged, pumping his chest out, which caused the other three to follow lead, "you think you can out push-out-chest us?!"

"I have FOUR chests to use, fools!" Multibear roared.

"And guys," Mabel snickered, taking a step from Dipper towards the Manotaurs, who looked to her with uncertainty, "I mean, you really can't be all that tough."

"YOU DARE QUESTION OUR MASCULINITY?!" The leader bellowed, his voice echoing across the mountain passes. Mabel simply laughed and pointed.

"C'mon dude, I saw that bandanna you're wearing in a girl's designer store," she giggled, pointing at the red, but slightly flora design on his fabric.

"I- What?" the manotaur gasped, eying the top of his head, holding onto his horns with trembling fingers.

"Ha, yeah dude," Soos added, "doesn't really fit well with your fur color. Maybe a nice salmon, or even some burgundy."

"Oh! Lilac!" Mabel snickered at Soos, who only mirrored her excitement.

The manotaur stared at them, his eyes growing red as veins grew in size. Fury was building up so violently in his body that it looked like he might explode. Or... maybe not fury. Suddenly he sniffled, and looked in shame at the ground. "I found it on the ground and thought it looked cool!" he declared in a shaking voice, and turned around, only to run down the mountain, bawling like a baby. "My whole manliness is a _lie_!" he cried as his three friends followed him with worry, trying to shout comforting, granted manly, assurances to him.

"Expertly done," Multibear commended Mabel as he nodded in approval. "They constantly have a patrol party of hecklers who arrive to annoy me with their incessant moaning."

"Aw, don't mention it," Mabel waved to the bear, "I'm just glad I could help out with a friend who helped me out."

"Naturally. I assume you three have come to my liar for a reason? I do enjoy visitors, but we bears," the speaking head of multibear looked to his other head-companions, "are still solitary creatures."

"You don't like hanging out with people, dude?" Soos asked worriedly.

"No, I was just about to start listening to BABBA's newest re-mastered album release, and I know it is under-appreciated by many listeners," the bear explained, turning and leading them towards his cave "but you may come inside as I listen to its melody."

"Wow!" Dipper exclaimed, "they have a re-master of it now!?" Mabel and Soos eyed Dipper for a moment, before he coughed and crossed his arms, "that's pretty cool. Yeah. Hope you enjoy it."

"So, my friend," Multibear asked as they passed the dark threshold of his outside cave, "what brings you to my lair? I do hope it is of peaceful things, and not more mauling. Although criminals being crushed doesn't upset me necessarily."

"Multibear," Mabel stepped up quickly, "we've come to invite you to be a part of the Gravity Falls carnival!" she announced excitedly, "complete with a free pass, plenty of attention, and all the food you can eat! Maybe even people! Do you eat people?" she asked, suddenly forgetting if this bear ate human flesh.

"I do not eat humans," Multibear waved a paw that stuck out from his shoulder.

"Oh good! Because people don't like it when other people are eaten in front of them," Soos explained behind Mabel, "sort of makes them uncomfortable, you know? Like 'oh wow that could be me' sort of thing? Hah. Crazy, right?"

"So we were hoping you could come down with us and sort of, you know," Dipper nudged one of the bear's heads, scratching one of the several pairs of ears, "be an exhibit for us."

"An exhibit?" Multibear asked with a scoff, turning, "Dipper, who would I exactly be presenting myself to?"

"Uh... the general populace?" he answered with uncertainty.

"Ah. This displeases me to let you down, my friend," Multibear told him with a solemn shake of his head, "but I will partake in no such activities."

"Ah, what?" Dipper moaned, stepping closer, "but dude, we could totally show people about you and how cool you are! Just think how awesome it would be for BABBA to visit you! Well, the members who are still alive, at least," Dipper added with a second thought of worry.

The large bear-creature before them shook his head and stopped his advance into the cave. "Dipper, I am an aberration of the world," he spoke to them calmly, a weight in his voice as he spoke to them, "made as a cruel joke to nature. Hence, I will remain my days here in the mountains until such actions force me to re-locate," he stated sadly, "all I wish is to be accepted as a lonely bear. Well, bear with many heads. And legs. And forearms."

"But Multibear," Mabel stepped forward, "you deserve to be at least understood. I'm sure in those seven heads-"

"Eight," Multibear said.

"-Eight fuzzy-heads of yours," Mabel added with more positive gusto, "have plenty of crazy cool ideas that the world deserves to hear! You just gotta get out there," she held one of the heads closer to her, and directed it to look out the cave with her, cradling it as she waved the hand before them both, "and see the whole, wide world- Soos, move aside for a second," she said, as blocking half the view. He scooted aside in one large step. "There- wiiiide world," Mabel finished.

"You are too kind, the two of you," Multibear said to them with a pleased glint in his eye, "and thank you Soos for not obstructing my view."

"It's what I'm here for dude," Soos gave him a thumbs up and winked.

"But I will not change my ways. Once I saw my effects on common-folk," Multibear told them, "and now I will live my live here, on this mountain, in peace."

"But, but Multibear," Dipper quickly started, but the bear turned to him quickly.

"However, I may have a solution for you," the bear pondered, scratching the side of his main face with the same oddly-positioned arm.

"Y-you might?" Dipper repeated.

"Awesome! I didn't know there were more hexapedal bears like you!" Mabel ran next to her brother, who gaped at her.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"Awesome?" she replied.

"You used the word 'hexapedal'," Dipper gaped at her in amazement, "since when did you learn that?"

"Since forever ago," Mabel winked at him with a playful grin.

"There are none like me," Multibear explained, "but, there are other options if you seek something to bring back with you."

"Ah good," Soos sighed, letting go of the rope he had began to slowly ease out of his pockets, "guess I don't need this then."

"High, much higher than my rest here," Multibear looked to the roof of his cave, "lies an ice-covered cavern. I rarely travel higher, except on crazy-hot days, where I just need to chill out, you know?" he asked them, and they nodded with complete sympathy and understanding, "anyway, one day I licked away enough ice from a wall to reveal... well..."

"Find what?" Dipper asked.

"You had aught to go up and find out yourself," Multibear told them, a looming danger in his words that they all detected. The twins looked back to Soos, and the three exchanged a simultaneous gulp in their throat.

"Well, thanks for that creepily ominous message," Soos tipped his hat to the bear as the other two waved their hands back, walking out of the cave, "and uh, thanks for not eating us dude."

"No problem, Soos, friend of Dipper," Multibear nodded once, "farewell my friend, Mabel, sister of Dipper. I wish you well on your journey."

"Thanks bud!" Dipper smiled back.

"BYE YOU AWESOME MOUNTINOUS COLLECTION OF FUZZ YOU!" Mabel shouted as she bounded from the cavern. "C'mon guys! Worrying stuff is up there!" she pointed up, looking higher into the mountain. They were not far from the white cap of the mountain, and indeed, high above them and into the cold peaks, was an entrance to a possible cave.

"So, I'm just going to point out that a bear that probably weighed more than a ton was hesitant to point out what exactly was up there," Dipper told his sister and Soos, who nodded in thought, "maybe we shouldn't- MABEL!"

"Last one there has to stick their tongue onto the ice crystals!" Mabel shouted as she started running up the steep cliff side. Behind her, Soos huffed and puffed, clearly enticed to escape such a fate. Dipper soon followed suit, and Mabel laughed. This was just another warm up for her, running through the cold air and then through the snow. She could hear them racing after her, and were apparently neck and neck.

"AHA!" Mabel declared as she found herself cloud level. Turning around to the world behind her, she couldn't help but let out a small gasp. Gravity Falls, the entire valley and forest it resided in, was just a small droplet before her, and the world fell out like a uncoiling misty adventure. She grinned as Dipper huffed after her.

"Nice... trick to... make me sweat... jerk," Dipper complained as he heaved. Next to him, Soos's hand shot up and plunged into snow as he dragged himself up after them.

"Y-y-you can complain dude," Soos managed, breathing in rapid, short bursts, "but at least... you don't have to carry this around," he held a section of his stomach, but then turned to it, "aww, at least you're keeping me warm."

"Well?" Mabel asked, hopping up and down in the snow, "let's go check out the inside! Maybe we can make friends with a Yeti!"

"If I recall, it would be a bigfoot in this region of the world," Dipper pointed out to her as he followed past the larger of the ice-spikes on the floor, "as yeti take home in Siberia and mountainous regions in Asia. Anyway, we should probably be careful."

"You don't really think that Multibear meant there could be something up here that's... dangerous?" Mabel asked Dipper, wondering as the light reflections grew dim as they walked further inside.

"I doubt he'd send us up here if he thought that it would hurt us. He's not a bad-" Dipper started, but was cut short.

A horrible snapping sound caused both twins to help and turn around to face the source of the sound. Holding onto one another, the twins blinked. Soos had bitten off an entire top half of a five-foot icicle, and was carrying it with one hand as his mouth bit down on it.

"Whab?" he asked, "I losb. So I hab do preff my donbue againb deb ife," he told them as best he could. Dipper gaped at him, and Mabel lost it. She fell backwards, laughing her hardest as she buckled and kicked into the air.

"Soos, this isn't the best time to take a bet like that seriously," Dipper groaned as he approached the now slightly helpless man. "Can you take it off?"

"Nob really," Soos shrugged, "ids why I broke off de dob half," he explained as Dipper tried finding a point of leverage. Mabel watched, standing up and approaching the struggling pair.

"Wait, I think I can warm up the ice," Mabel told them with the last traces of her amusement fading. "I just need a second."

"Nahm ib okay, I god dis," Soos declared, and then huffed loudly. He spun around, swinging the ice around him like a madman, still attached to his mouth and tongue. He roared loudly, and either the force of the spinning or the heat of his breath, he finally tossed the two and a half foot ice spear away, throwing it across a large distance until it smashed against a large block of ice. The twins cheered and clapped with Soos.

Their claps did not go unpunished. The landing spot of the ice cracked, and the three froze. A spreading crack slowly grew and grew, until it was the size of an entire wall before them, and as they stared, they realized, a large blurred shape awaited them from the other side. Before a single one of the three had a chance to do anything else but watch the cracks spread, it all fell before them, revealing the blurred outline.

Thick, course, brown fur covered it's body. Four thick, cylinder legs that pressed into the cold snowy dirt with heavy uncertainty. Two tusks stuck out from a mouth, covered by a long flexible and lively trunk. Two small beady eyes peered out fearfully at the three as they stared at an animal, roughly the height of Soos. An animal the three of them knew should not be alive.

"Holy cow," Soos exclaimed softly, "It's... a woolly-"

"MASTODON!" Mabel shrieked and ran forward like a bolt of lightning. Some things, some dreams, would never come true. Mabel had always wondered if she would ever have the chance to hug a real elephant one day. Certainly a possibility. But this... a real, life Mastodon? Not on her life would she have bet this. She would risk scaring the poor thing- she would die hugging it if she had to. To her immense luck, the large creature allowed her hasty approach, and watched as she grasped its leg, rubbing her face all along it's coarse hairs. "You feel like lintballs! Hehehe!"

"I can't believe it," Dipper exclaimed as he slowly approached the animal his sister was shoving her face into, "this type of animal has been extinct for thousands of years."

"Ten thousand, estimated," Mabel poked her head out from the fuzz, grinned, and resumed her nuzzling.

"Mabel... how did you-"

"I like animals," Mabel admitted, pulling herself away and patting the creature's arm. "So whenever I had a class in bio, I paid attention whenever animals popped up. And all sorts of Elephants are just so cuuuuuute," she told him, and hugged the low-hanging neck of the Mastodon, who moved its truck to her hair and started sniffing, "Oh! Why hello there, Missus Mastodon! Hahaha!"

"Missus?" Soos asked as he too slowly approached the large animal, which seemed more and more to grasp and rub Mabel's hair with it's trunk.

"Well she's _obviously_ a girl," Mabel told them, looking away from the pre-historic creature, "her trunks are too small for a guy. That and her eyelashes are just so large and her eyes are so expressive!"

"Huh. I'll take your word on those last two," Dipper grinned as he walked past the two large tusks the animal presented and walked behind Mabel, "you think it- she's, friendly?" he asked, and the trunk patted his head suddenly. "Oh. Hi?"

"Of course she is! I bet she's sick to death of being alone up here!" Mabel told Dipper as the trunk examined his hat and hair. Mabel giggled, patting the side of the head gently as the dark eyes of the ancient animal looked down to her. She was right about the Mastodon. There was such a relief in those stares- something more than just thankfulness, but longing. Had this poor elephantine creature been aware of all the years passing while locked in the perpetual ice? "You poor thing," Mabel patted, squeezing a bit more. "You aught to get a name, you know that?"

"How about Mina?" Soos suggested.

"What kind of name is-" Dipper started, but the Mastodon lifted her trunk and let out a loud call, startling the boy before her.

"She loves it!" Mabel answered, "or at least that's my interpretation of it. I'm kinda shy on Ancient elephant. Pig, llama, alpaca, sheep, goat- elephant I'm okay with, but Ancient Elephant? I'm pulling on straws."

"You're saying you can speak sheep?" Dipper asked, staring at his sister with uncertainty.

"Duh!" she replied, but turned to the Mastodon, "so then, Mina, how about we get you out of here and take you someplace a little more warm?"

* * *

"Mister Pines, I must implore you to reconsider," Yuki said, following Stan out into the Gift shop, where Wendy sat with her feet up, lazily looking into the magazine of her choice, 'Passive-Aggressive Stances and More; But We're Fine, Don't Bother Asking'. "Those heaters could lead to larger growths of dangerous infectious diseases."

"Look, kid, wait... you're older than me, aren't you. Huh. Listen Yuki," Stan turned to him, "you need to get this clear. Everything is about money. If I put out those heaters, I have to charge them more, and I'm still not getting enough business for that to make sense."

"But... but is that ethical?" Yuki demanded, and Stan laughed.

"Ha! That's great! Ethics! Oh, that's a great one," Stan turned from him and marched out the door. Grunkle Stan was just about to turn towards the trash can, where he intended to toss out his old Newspaper from the day before, when something very loud and trumpet-like blasted in his face. "WHOA!" he shrieked as he fell backwards and stared up in terror. The black outline of two figures beside a large creature, and a lone girl riding said creature blotted out the bright blue sky. "What... what the heck?"

"What is that noise!?" Yuki shouted from the inside, and he came running out, and began to assist Stan to his feet as he stared at the creature before him. "A-amazing."

"Mina says hi!" Mabel declared, atop the back of the small Mastodon.

"Did I hear an elephant?" Wendy asked as she too stepped out, and gasped. "Whoh-ho-hoo, I totally did! A small, furry elephant."

"She's a Mastodon named Mina," Mabel declared as she leapt down from the back of the creature, patting her side as she approached, "part of an extinct species that roamed the Americas long ago. Pretty crazy, huh?" Mabel said with a grin as she, Dipper, and Soos stood aside the pre-historic animal while it let off another loud blast from its trunk.

"You said... extinct!?" Stan stared at the creature. "Like, the last one of its kind?!"

"Mina is going to be the ultimate diva," Mabel announced, "there literally is no other Mastodon out there."

"But that means she's unique," Stan stood up, dusting off his jacket and pants with vigor, "and people... people will pay more for something that's unique. And if she's staying here," Stan eyed the large creature, "I can open a miniature zoo!"

"Uhh, sure?" Mabel replied, worried that she saw more dollar bills behind Stan's eyes than awe of the majestic creature.

"MABEL! SWEETY!" Stan roared with excitement, rushing forward and lifting his grand-niece into the air, "you're going to make us millionaires!"

"What!?"

"Just think!" Stan said to her as he laid her back down, leaning closer to her to address her and the group simultaneously," the last one of her kind, found in a motel in the middle of no where? People are already aware that this place exists, and now, with this!? Folks from all over the world are going to come and drop their wallets into my basket! I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE RICH ENOUGH TO RETIRE!"

"I'm just going to point out the last time you thought your scheme would get you rich, it didn't pan out as well," Dipper told Stan as he patted the tusk of Mina, who affectionately scratched his head with her trunk.

"Shush! That woman isn't here to ruin my plans now! Doing stuff in town, ha!" Stan rubbed his hands together excitedly, and walked up the Mastodon, who eyed him worriedly, "listen here, trunky. We're going to be good, good friends. I give you a place to stay and all the food you can imagine, and you make me richer than my wildest dreams! Sound fair?"

Mina the Mastodon quickly took her trunk from Dipper, grasped off Stan's fez from his head, and ate it in one quick swoop.

"HEY! MY FEZ!" Stan bellowed, but stopped as the Mastodon continued to eye him expectantly as she loudly chewed on the red fabric. "Ah, well, that's okay. I have more where that came from," he laughed nervously, aware that he was between two very large tusks at his head level. "I'll take your eating of my hat as 'a deal'."

"I don't know if that meant she liked the deal or liked your hat," Mabel pointed out, but Stan had already turned and marched into the house, rubbing his hands together like a Machiavellian villain.

"Hi there, Mina," Wendy approached the Mastodon, who actually stepped away from Wendy. "Aw, no love for the redhead?" Mina blew a short, frightened trumpet, and Wendy eyed the others. "She doesn't like me very much, huh?"

"Aww, don't be scared of Wendy," Mabel comforted the Mastodon, rubbing her neck and ears gently, "she may look like a crazy-awesome warrior princess, but she's just a good person." Mina looked from Mabel, to Wendy, who gave a shy smile to the large creature. A shaky trunk slowly extended out, and touched Wendy's nose, but then instantly coiled back. "See? She doesn't bite," Mabel snickered at Mina. Yuki passed by Wendy as Dipper walked around the Mastodon.

"Mabel, can I talk to you for a second," Dipper said as Yuki and him flanked her.

"What's up?" she asked as the two stepped slightly away from the mystery shack while Soos and Wendy tried talking to Mina, who seemed much less comfortable without Mabel.

"Dipper and I are of similar thought it seems," Yuki told her.

"Mabel, this is an extinct species. The last of it's kind," Dipper re-iterated again, "which means if we let her stay here, history will just repeat itself."

"Huh?" she eyed the two of them with a raised eyelid. "What are you talking about?"

"We're under the belief that this young Mastodon is the salvation of her species," Yuki told Mabel, "and that this is an opportunity that, while Stan's intentions are... eh... well thought out," he glanced back to the shack, clearly checking to see if his employer was listening into their discussion, "this is a matter too important to let greed intervene."

"Wait, what exactly are you two saying?" Mabel crossed her arms and stared at the brown eyes and the pink eyes. "Just talk like a normal human being would!"

"We need to donate Mina to science," Dipper quietly stated.

"What?!" Mabel declared in a hiss.

"Mabel, please understand," Yuki leaned closer, "this creature's species extinction was a result of human interference. It was because of the mass hunting from primitive mankind that brought this majestic animal," as he said this, Mina started playing patty-cake with Soos, "to their pre-mature end. We now have a chance to rectify this."

"Mabel, just imagine," Dipper also leaned in, trying to capture her attention as she watched Soos and Mina play, "Mastodons walking the American prairie again. A new species introduced into the American wilderness that can bring balanced to the North American Ecosystem."

"I was pretty sure there was balance already," Mabel looked to her brother.

"...more balance?" he tried.

"Guys, look, I get it," Mabel put a hand on each of their shoulders, "it's a noble thing to do, but if I do that, she'll be locked up and experimented on like some freak for the rest of her life," she said defensively as she pushed between the two them.

"And having her locked here is any better?" Dipper tried.

Mabel stalled as she watched Mina the Mastodon play with Soos some more. Wendy laughed along, and Mabel could only wonder if they could really keep the Mastodon happy. Then again... bringing this creature back from the dead, more than just Mina, could be...

She turned to her brother, and then looked between the two of them. "I'll... think about it," she told them quietly.

"Good to hear," Yuki nodded and patted Dipper's shoulder, "she can listen to reason when presented to her. I shall make back for the inside, and continue my work on refrigerator modulation."

"Uh, yeah, okay," Dipper nodded as Yuki trailed away back inside. "Mabel, just remember. She could be their salvation," Dipper repeated as he walked next to her.

"I heard," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"Oink?"

Mabel turned to the corner of the building, and saw half the image of small, pink pig poking his head out. Waddles had finally come to see the new visitor.

"Hey buddy," Mabel called, but Waddles held his ground, aware of the large beast on the front yard. "Aw, are you being a cute, shy, little piggster?" Mabel cooed as she walked over and lifted Waddles into her arms. "Let me introduce you to her. Okay?" she asked Waddles as she held him in her arms before her. The pig didn't struggle or disagree. He still seemed... nervous, but not afraid.

"Ahem," Mabel called between Soos's instructions of patty-cake with Mina, "Mina, I want you to meet a dear friend of mine," she said, and lifted Waddles before her, "This is Waddles!" Mina stared at the pink animal, and Waddles stared back. "He's really sweet, loves to cuddle, and is like the most easy-going person ever. You and him will totally get along."

Mina slowly extended her trunk to the pig, inch by inch in the air. She held her trunks end just a few inches from Waddles, perhaps afraid to greet the small animal as much as Waddles had been. Then, waddles pushed his head slightly forward and bumped noses. Mabel saw it alone. The looks of Waddles and Mina grew and stars exploded in their soul behind their dark, expressive eyes. Music was floating in their minds; Mabel could just hear it herself in her strange animal-sense. She gasped and stared as the trunk extended out and rubbed the chin of the pig excitedly, and Waddles oinked happily.

"Oh. My. GOD," Mabel gasped, happy tears in her eyes.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked as she squealed.

"They're in love!" Mabel laid down Waddles quickly and hugged her brother, "love at first sight! OH MY GOD IT'S JUST PERFECT!" she yelled her hardest and started running in circles.

"I don't know Mabel," Wendy snickered but shook her head, "it's kinda hard to tell when animals-" Mina dispelled all doubt as she stepped closer, grasped waddles with her trunk, and lifted him into the air, and placed him atop her back, where he squealed happily, and took a comfortable seat there. "Oh," Wendy gasped and laughed, "okay. Yeah. They're in love."

"DIPPER! DIPPER!" Mabel continued to run in circles around him as he stared in disbelief at the two animals, "I AM THE ULTIMATE MATCH-MAKER! BOW BEFORE ME, LOVE GODS! BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW MASTER!" she cackled into the skies as Mina blew a loud and happy trumpet to match.

* * *

Mina with waddles sitting in a tree: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

So three episodes of kinda drama/intense stuff, we get some wonderfully silliness. I had you all fooled too, thought a Mammoth was going to be involved, huh? Well, GUESS AGAIN! MASTODON! GO 'MURICA! LOCAL EXTINCT SPECIES FOR THE WIN! WOOHOO!

So, with fun stuff aside, there should be some clues for the few of you who read this that get way, way into the 'secrets' of this story. Some are a tad more easy to detect, others? Not so much. Hopefully you spotted them. :D

And SPEAKING OF THINGS TO SPOT... I recently got way into re-watching the actual series. A marathon from episode one to Northwest Noir, and I realize that I was missing two things that the show does- a beginning segment, and... something else. So, with the beginning segment, that's not as important as it is goofy. But the important thing I've been missing-

**Cryptograms.**

Yeah. That's right. They're now included. At the end of every episode, I have a cryptogram for you to solve, and this includes ALL PAST EPISODES. Don't worry, they're not that hard to solve, and may give you some clues to what I'm planning. Or what fate awaits in the horizon... ;)

Now before I head off, Remember to check out my buddy, TheEquestrianIdiot2.0 and his works. I've been working really closely with him on a few of his projects, and then he's been blowing me out of the water with thing's he's been making. Especially check out '30 Days of Night' and 'Click and other Stories', to which I have had the pleasure of partaking in.

So, thanks for reading, and I'll see you guys next week. Adios! (A caveman jumps next to EZB, grabs his monitor from his computer, and swings it into his head, knocking the author out in one fell swoop. Then he roars triumphantly, and runs off into the sunset with his favorite new toy- EZB's monitor.)


	30. Mammoth Problems: Part 2

Pacifica Northwest patrolled through the finished set-up of the Gravity Falls Summer Carnival. Pen, paper, and board to write against, the teen brushed her bangs from her eyes with a quick scoff. So far, as she had hoped, things had been going according to plan. The inspections for the rides; Ferris Wheel, mini-roller coaster, the usual kiddy attractions, all had passed and with good reason- Northwest's only purchased top of the line. Then she had gone through the food stands, personally disgusted with many of the choices that people apparently ate, but refrained from upsetting the workers present. She had to let this carnival walk away with a pleasant impression of her family.

"The Family Name is as important as you claim, then you should begin working in stead for myself and your mother," Pacifica's father had once told her, "and perhaps we can overlook you mild transactions."

The echoing reminder of her parents shame only drove her to walk faster, passing by the remaining food stalls. It was just an hour before people would be showing up, and she was almost done, along with her management of the park. The last thing she needed to check up on was the animals. To which she, however silent about it, was worried.

She didn't exactly doubt the abilities of the Pine twins, darting her eyes back and forth from the pages on the notepad and the game stalls around her. Those two were, if anything, efficient at discovering, solving, and exploiting trouble. Her worry's came in the form of her desperate plea, and not knowing what to expect at the booth she would soon be coming around to as she left the games and bright neon lights that accompanied them.

A yawn pressed out of her mouth, demanding her eyes to water in the fatigue that crashed over her. This was the second large project she had to manage solo, and sleep had become a spares occurrence. She was tired, and though she fought to hide it with her bright and inviting make-up of pinks and shades of violet, there was no hiding that throaty, dry feeling when she spoke up. Drinking water came at a long second to her duties as manager.

Her nose scrunched it's nostrils as the thick, unclean smell of animals hit her. She would certainly be quick about passing by the other specimens- she only needed to see if the Pines did as they were instructed to.

She rounded the corner, and was knocked off her feet with a loud blast of a trumpet. Pacifica shrieked as she fell backwards, her hair falling past her face and blocking out most of the light from the sky above. She could feel the dirt under her fingers and she clenched her teeth tightly and groaned. So much for her nice dress staying clean today.

"Pacifica!"

She blinked as someone parted her hair for her, and extended a hand.

Mabel Pines.

"What is that noise!?" Pacifica barked as she stood back up, gathering her papers and straightening herself out. Then she saw it. A smaller, furry... elephant. Standing in the large pen made for whatever the twins had been asked to capture, this adult-human heighted animal poked and prodded the metal wiring around it curiously, while a pink pig sat atop it's back proudly.

"TADAH!" Mabel declared, wiggling her fingers as her hands danced before the sight of the animal in it's pen, staring at Pacifica with uncertainty. "I present to you, Miss Mina the Mastodon!"

"The heck is a mastodon?" Pacifica demanded, stepping closer and past Mabel. "Is that the name of a baby elephant? I didn't know they were so hairy before they group up," Pacifica noted as she looked closer. The large, dark eyes of the creature continued to stare at Pacifica as she leaned closer getting a look at the being. Dipper, who had been behind the elephant stepped closer.

"She's not an elephant," he stated, carrying in his arms a torso-sized barrel.

"A mastodon, whatever," Pacifica corrected herself hastily with little intent of actually caring for the animals true title, "so, what, you just stole one from a zoo?"

"They're an extinct species," Mabel told Pacifica, walking next to her as they both watched Mina turn to Dipper, ruffling his hat with her trunk, "that died out ten thousand years ago."

"She's just an elephant though, Mabel," Pacifica turned to the brunette, a distressed look about her as she glared at Mabel, "I thought you two were going to find something that was actually, you know, weird?"

"That's what I thought you'd say," Mabel pointed at Pacifica, and then nodded to the back of the pen, as Soos and Yuki carried in a large sign, trailed behind by Grunkle Stan, "so we made this sign!"

"You made a what?" Pacifica demanded, almost knocked aside as the three passed by her and out of a small gate, and stabbed the sign into the ground.

"There we go," Soos brushed his hands.

"I needn't you help," Yuki reminded Soos as he adjusted his hat- a borrowed cap from the Gift shop at the Mystery Manor. "I was more than capable of carrying in that sign."

"Yeah, but dud, I can't just let a bro do all the work on my own," Soos patted Yuki's shoulder with a grin, "makes me feel like a jerk, watching you do all the work."

Pacifica side stepped the three and found herself next to Stan as she stared at the sign. A large, crude make probably from Mabel herself, the sign read in colorful pain 'Rare as they come, the Mastodon here is a total love-bird and is currently engaged to the local Waddles: the pig. She loves all sorts of sweet fruit without tang, and likes people with poofy thick hair, because it tickles her trunk!'. Pacifica gaped at the sign, but then noticed, at the bottom, was an outline of the animal before her and a standard elephant. Pacifica blinked, and realized they did, indeed, have different body proportions. So maybe this was something she could brag to the coming crowds of the day about.

"Well, I'm, eh, pleased with this," Pacifica nodded to Mabel with a curt bob of her head. "This sign is going to help people realize that we are actually offering them a chance to see something unusual."

"Aww yeah!" Mabel punched the air proudly, and then leapt over and hugged Pacifica tightly, pinning her arms to the side, "see? We can still be friends, right?"

"Ugh- off!" Pacifica contorted herself away from Mabel, her cheeks mildly flushed as she glanced around, "please don't ruin my dress."

"So, we're good on this end?" Dipper asked, coming through the fence as well.

"Yeah, sure, favor earned," Pacifica barely nodded.

"Good to hear," Dipper said curtly to her. The two stared at one another for a moment before breaking away.

"So, where's Wendy, huh?" Pacifica asked Dipper coldly.

"Stayed behind to watch the building," Dipper retorted.

"Oh. Sure you wouldn't rather be there? With her?" Pacifica asked, her arms wrapped around her note board tightly.

"Well, Pacifica," Mabel quickly stepped between the two of them, and wrapped her arms around her brother's, pulling him away, "we'll be here, watching and taking care of Mina! You keep doing your business stuff," Mabel waved and winked to the blonde. As Mabel pulled her brother, who glared at the Northwest, Pacifica turned to the other three. Soos and Stan were eyeing her with a crooked eyebrow, but Yuki was spinning around, his eyes growing wide.

"My word! Amazing!" he declared as he nearly ran into Pacifica, "beg your pardon," he blurted out, but was too mesmerized with the neon lights and tents all around him to truly mind nearly knocking into her.

"You like it, huh?" Pacifica mused with a half-smile.

"I... I had heard of the carnivals that huma- err, North Americans have," Yuki corrected himself with an awkward check back to Stan and Soos, who were grimacing at his near mess-up, "and I have always wanted to see one for myself!"

"Japanese don't have carnivals?" Pacifica asked with shock.

"Well, they do, and I can't wait to see theirs too!" Yuki excitedly declared, but then shrunk back as she looked at him, her eyes squinting in confusion, "oh, uh, what I mean to say is, uh, 'I can't wait to go back and see them... again'!" He nervously chuckled and peered past her to the two, who nodded and gave him thumbs up for approval. He sighed, and gasped. The woman before him was laughing.

"You're hysterical!" she told him, giving his arm a gently push.

"Uhhh... a positive expression?" he asked Pacifica as she grinned at him.

"Ah, yeah?" she told him. "Mean's you're being funny."

"Oh! Not to be confused with being in hysterics! Hah, expressions," he chuckled to himself, "quite amusing."

"Well, mister..." Pacifica eyed him for a moment. Yuki stared back.

"Yes?" he asked her. She scoffed and crossed her arms. "I am missing another expression, aren't I?"

"When someone asks for you as 'mister' but doesn't finish, it means they want to know your last name," Pacifica informed him. Pacifica gasped and nodded. Then he blinked. Xavbri didn't have last names. Then again, there was the second half of his first name that no one else seemed to use.

"Dohth," he told Pacifica. "Yuki Dohth."

"Dohth. Huh. Not what I expected, honestly," she told him with inspecting eyes, but she shrugged when he stared back at her. "Well, Mister Dohth," she told him, and opened her arms to him, "how about I take you on a personal tour of the carnival?"

"Oh. Well, I would very much enjoy that, Miss Northwest," he smiled happily as he wrapped his own arm around hers. Pacifica suppressed a snort as he called her 'miss', but grinned and pulled him along. As they walked together back towards the front entrance, Soos and Stan watched them depart.

"Wow. That plan worked perfectly," Soos admitted as Stan sighed and spun the sign around. "Having him right next to Pacifica really did drive her away."

"Yeah, kids these days: just throw a half-decent looker of the opposite gender and boom- distracted long enough to make some money under the table," Stan declared. The other side of the sign read 'any picture with the Mammoth- ten bucks'.

"They are kind of cute together, aren't they?" Soos said as Stan made sure the sign was secure, pushing it further into the dirt.

"Whatever. Now go get the money jar and get set up behind the gate. No one not us or that Northwest brat gets in for free. Even if they're on fire!" Stan reminded him as Soos nodded and headed back towards the back lots. As he departed, he passed Mabel and Dipper, standing by Mina, who was efficiently playing with the brunette girl.

"Mina, you're a natural at this!" Mabel declared as she tossed a Frisbee at the Mastodon, who caught it and tossed it into the air for herself to catch. After a few tosses into the air, she then gave Mabel the chance to play again, and threw it back. "Nice one!" Mabel told her. "Dipper, you throw it at her," Mabel told him, looking down to his seat, atop on of the barrels of food he had helped carry into the pen. "Dipper?" she asked, and he started suddenly.

"Huh?"

"You play with Mina for a bit," she told him as she forced the plastic disk into his hands. Without much of an option, Dipper stood and gently tossed the disk at the Mastodon while Mabel took his seat. "What'cha thinking about, anyway?"

"Nothing," Dipper quickly replied. Mabel nearly burst out laughing- one of his worst lies yet. Instead she snickered. "What?" Dipper said as he caught the disk from Mina.

"You're _so_ not telling the truth," she replied.

"Am too."

"Are not.

"Am too!" Dipper turned to her, his arms crossed.

"Incoming," Mabel pointed past him. Dipper spun around just in time to receive a Frisbee to his face, and he grasped and rubbed his nose- the recipient of the blunt trauma. Mabel laughed aloud as her brother scowled, refraining from tossing the disk at Mina angrily. The Mastodon looked happy just knowing Dipper was playing with her.

"I'm... uh," Dipper said as he waited for the animal to return the throw, "I'm just thinking about the ruckus that Stan is going to cause when he finds out our plan," Dipper sighed, his shoulders tightening as he spoke, "he's not going to like the fact that I called in that San Francisco scientist."

"Hm, yeah," Mabel said, resting her head on her arms as she sat down. Watching the happy mastodon play with Dipper gave her a kind of sad hope. Waddles was nuzzling his chin into Mina's back, scratching himself with her course hairs, which she seemed to love as she patted his head after tossing the disk to Dipper.

Yet Mabel wandered if she was... entirely on board with Dipper's and Yuki's plan. Certainly, they weren't wrong; by letting Mina go with this supposed doctor from California, they would be able to gain, functioning DNA to study. It wasn't that far-fetched of an idea for there to be, one day, a whole national park full of natural mastodons like Mina wandering around the country.

Then again, Mabel worried for her knew animal friend's well being. Scientists can be so pushy and only watch the horizon sometimes. What if they kept poor Mina locked up in a cage while they kept drawing blood and cutting her nice, warm hair away? Not only that, Mabel wasn't certain she could let Waddles go for Mina. Why would a science lab let a pig linger when they were working to restore an entire race of animals?

What was right? What was easy?

Mabel supposed it would be easiest to let Dipper and Yuki sneak out with the Mastodon. Grunkle Stan would have gotten in a large quantity of the day to scam the crowds with Mina, and then the other two could get Mina to a lab somewhere.

Then Waddles would never see her again. The thought alone almost brought a tear to Mabel's eye.

Distracting herself from the thoughts, and trying to remain pleasant, Mabel raised her gaze from the floor and watched Dipper play some more. A thought came by as she spotted the vanishing backs of Yuki, pointing excitedly to the lights and tents, to Pacifica, who seemed to be guiding him.

"So, are you two cool?" Mabel asked just loud enough for Dipper to hear her.

"Huh? Who?" Her brother asked, hesitating to throw the Frisbee.

"You and Pacifica," Mabel clarified. Dipper eyed Mabel, and seemed to nod to himself, his lips pursed tightly as he tossed the disk at Mina.

"I, uh... sure," Dipper shrugged.

"That could have been more confident," Mabel told him.

"Sure?" Dipper tried again, his words long and airy.

"So you're not," Mabel sighed, "c'mon dude, what gives?"

"Gee, I don't know," Dipper sarcastically gasped, and grasped the disc out of air and turned to sit next to his sister as she eyed him, "let's count: she's rude, inconsiderate, snide, stuck-up, arrogant, and has a huge stick up her-"

"Alright, okay," Mabel grabbed the Frisbee forcibly from her brother as she stood, shaking her head. There was more than just bark in those words. "Is this still _all_ from three years ago?"

"What does it matter?" Dipper replied as she caught the Frisbee from Mina. She dropped the disc and found a large soccer ball, and gently kicked it over to Mina, who seemed shocked at the idea that she could play with things that rolled around on the ground.

"It matters because we should be friends with her," Mabel told him strongly, "and not be at each other throats." He scoffed, but said nothing in reply. Mabel could almost hear the tightening of his arms as he crossed them and scowled at nothing in particular. "Dipper, I don't know if you remember," she stated, turning around once after dribbling the ball back and forth between the mastodon, "but we couldn't have beaten Bill without her help."

"I haven't forgotten that summer," Dipper told her in a huff.

"Then why are you acting like she's done more harm to us than help?" Mabel asked in her best restrained voice.

"I'm not," Dipper grumbled.

"You keep trying to fight her, dude," Mabel pointed out, catching the ball from Mina with her foot and then turning to her brother, her hands at her hips, "c'mon dude, don't-"

"Look, just drop it Mabel," Dipper glared at her warningly, and stood up, "I'm going to go find Yuki. We need to figure out how to distract Stan," he told Mabel without looking to her, keeping an eye on the back of the suited elderly man. "I'll be back."

Mabel watched Dipper storm out of the straw covered pen with wide, quick steps. He was out faster than she had anticipated.

The grump still hadn't gotten over the break-up, after all.

* * *

"How does that one work?" Yuki asked excitedly, pointing to another game booth, with balloons set up on the wall.

"You take a dart, which you pay for three or five," Pacifica explained while pointing, their arms still entwined, "and throw them at the balloons. When you pop balloons, depending on the amount you pop, you get a prize."

"Oh. While it promotes violence as a means of gain, I suppose it does instruct to use such means on inanimate objects," Yuki nodded, "and those plush dolls on the walls are to be the prizes?" he asked, pointing around to the odd assortment of animals that were displayed.

"Yup. The bigger they are, the more balloons are required to be popped," she told him.

"Interesting. And this one?" Yuki inquired as he too a long step to the left, almost dragging Pacifica with him as he pointed to an almost identical game stand, but a pellet gun shooting range.

"Uh, Uki-Dohth, it's basically the same stand," she laughed.

"But clearly not! There are some mechanized devices resembling weapons displayed on these counters, and the balloons have been replaced with small metal frames with paintings on them!" he excitedly informed her, his eyes wide as a child first seeing a pile of candy for the taking.

"You're really into these things, aren't you?" Pacifica asked him, taking a step to see him fully, almost in disbelief that a human being can be this excited about something she considered low. Were it not for her mind reminding her that he was foreign, she would have half a mind to correct him and show him real entertainment; holographic and interactive game sessions at her manor.

"I... well, yes," Yuki nodded plainly. "There is something to the archaic nature of these games that drives me to want to learn more about them."

Pacifica laughed loudly. Archaic nature? "That about sums it up," she shook her head as she giggled, "they are rather old aren't they?"

"But in that lies charm," Yuki continued, "for there is clearly history and meaning behind these games and stands that predates either of us. That is what drives myself to understand and partake in these carnivals- the understanding of tradition."

"Oh," Pacifica eyed him as she frowned. "You know, Uki-Dohth, I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you're kind of... eccentric," she kindly told him, getting as close as she could to telling him he was weird without the threat of upsetting a foreigner, whom she knew little of. She had no desire to blemish her reputation over seas.

Fortunately to her, his reaction was quite positive. "I would hope so. At minimum that would make my life an interesting one, which certainly seems to be the direction it has taken recently," Yuki sighed, rubbing his hat as he recalled the events that lead to his life here, on earth. This comment did not go unnoticed by the blonde, who eyed him, but said nothing.

"Here, I can show you the snack isle. I have the fried food section hold off on selling any _real_ food unless I or my family orders some. You ever had truffle fries?" she asked. Yuki shrugged, and shook his head. "You'll love them. They're just to die for-"

"Yuki!"

The undercover alien turned quickly and Pacifica groaned. She needn't turn to know who that was. Dipper was walking over to them, eying Pacifica warily as he approached. She spun slowly, hands firmly stuck to her hips. As Dipper walked over, he gave the blond a cold and quick nod, and looked directly to Yuki.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," Dipper told Yuki as he came to a stop.

"Ah. Very well, you have my attention," Yuki nodded and waited. Dipper sighed and Pacifica smirked. "Ah... you are not speaking?" Yuki pointed out as Dipper eyed the two of them.

"Alone?" Dipper added.

"Oh. Of course. Please excuse me, Miss Northwest," Pacifica nodded to Pacifica, who laughed.

"Uki-Dohth, just call me Pacifica, okay?" she told him as she rolled her eyes. "If you want more of a tour, just come back and find me, okay?" she told him, and turned away. as she walked Yuki called after her.

"Okay. Thank you for the guide!" As she waved back to them, Yuki turned and found a scowling Dipper. "Oh. Have I said something wrong, my friend?"

"Yuki," Dipper leaned closer, and lowered his voice, "you should be careful with Pacifica," he told a confused Yuki.

"Oh... OH! I see!" Pacifica slapped a fist into his hand, "she is some sort of supernatural being then! Possibly dangerous!" Dipper scoffed and shook his head. "Oh. Part of a dangerous syndicate that operates by using powerful forces towards their goals?" Dipper again shook his head, and the Alien huffed. "I am uncertain then. What prompts caution when around her?"

"Just trust me, okay?" Dipper put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "She's a mess."

"But... she seemed quite orderly and groomed," Yuki protested. Dipper growled, and pulled Yuki away, leading him back towards the Mastodon.

"Anyway, moving on," Dipper sighed, the stone expression in his eyes fading away, "we need to get the plan ready. The doctor is going to arrive from LA around noon, which means it's going to be prime money making hour."

"Agreed," Yuki nodded as they marched together across the carnival grounds, "Stan believes that he is employing me to distract Pacifica, and as long as he is under this illusion, we will be able to draw him away from Mina."

"We? You," Dipper told him. Yuki blinked, and his dark tan skin paled.

"B-but I am no deceiver," Yuki worriedly confided in Dipper, "and I know not Stans expectations."

"Which is what makes you so perfect," Dipper explained, "Stan knows this too. He thinks you're a soft, bleeding-hearted person, and you could never lie to anyone."

"My hearts are perfectly healthy, I assure- ohhh," Yuki nodded when Dipper eyed him, "expression."

"Yeah. Anyway, all you have to do is let him know that there's something either free or easily exploitable in the fun house, and lead him inside and keep him there long enough for me to lead Mina to the doctor," Dipper told him firmly. "Just thirty minutes away, and then Mina will be the salvation of an entire race of animal."

"I... I suppose I can commit such false-hoods in the name of reviving a native species," Yuki nodded as he rubbed his hat nervously, "after all, it is what brought me here in the first place."

"Okay then. Let's just wait, and then we activate operation 'Mammoth Problems'," Dipper told Yuki, his tone darkened and grim. The alien eyed him, and opened his mouth to comment, but Dipper beat him to the punch, "Yes, I know Mina isn't a mammoth. Mastodon Problem's doesn't sound as cool, and Mammoth Problems is a double entendre."

"Oh, yes, I see," Yuki nodded and smiled pleseantly with his full undertanding.

Hours passed as the group by Mina the Mastodon exchanged places. Soos would come and go, half the time interested with the many various tents, often times taking Yuki with him to compete in the games. Dipper and Stan remained close by the Mastodon at all times, along with Mabel, who played with her and Waddles behind the fence.

People had started to come. Families from Gravity Falls and visitors from out of town, as Pacifica had predicted, toured around, unfettered by the small-town feeling and smaller scale of the presentation.

Mina very quickly became a notable attraction. A full hour passed as Stan made quick and easy cash. Everyone wanted a picture with 'the furry elephant'. However, as it turned out, Stan wasn't done with his schemes- very quickly he realized people didn't want him in the photos either, as it 'dulled down the fun', 'ruined the shot', or better yet 'reminded them of the inevitabilities of old age'. So, to fix this, he added a second part to the sign- 'photos without the old man twenty bucks'.

As noon rolled around, and the crowds were more inclined for food and festivities, Mina had a chance to shy away from the crowds, and play more with her best friend Mabel and boyfriend Waddles.

"Aww, aren't you two just adorable?" Mabel cooed, sitting before Mina and Waddles, who were currently engaged in some version of tag. Waddles wouldn't run, as much as gently walk away from Mina, who let him gain a decent distance from her before reaching over with her trunk and tagging his neck with a small, loving peck. Then waddles would spin around, stride back over, and bop his nose against her leg, and turn around with gusto.

"The two of them really are something," Soos admitted as he leaned on the fence, watching them play.

"Aren't they? It's like a super good-feeling kids movie, but real!" Mabel squealed as Waddles then ran over to her hopefully, and padded her legs with his own feet. "Aww, you want up on your girlfriend again?" Mabel asked him, and stood up while lifting the pig up with her, and placed it atop Mina's back again, who threw her trunk around the air excitedly.

"Gosh. Makes me miss Melody like five times more, you know?" Soos admitted.

"Oh! I remember Melody!" Mabel cried out, stepping closer to Soos, who had lowered himself to lean on the fence in wonder. "How is she?"

"Aw, she's doing great. She's almost done with college, actually," Soos told Mabel.

"Wow. She's, like, doing adult things," Mabel gasped, and leaned against the fence as well, leaning away from her animal friends, "you two still are together, right?"

"Oh yeah dude!" Soos nodded and smiled happily, "we see each other on school breaks. She used to come up a lot during the summer, but this year she found a job nearby her home, so we're probably not going to see each other much this summer, you know?" Soos added, a small frown on his face as he dreamily watched Mina and Waddles play around.

"Aww, we should change that!" Mabel told him, "like, go down and kidnap her for a weekend or something!"

"Actually she was going to come up for Summerween this year," Soos informed Mabel, who gasped and cupped a hand to her mouth.

"Oh... my... god... I totally forgot about Summerween!" Mabel told him, bubbling with excitement. "I can't WAIT for that to come back!"

"Only two weeks, hambone," Soos told Mabel with an assuring grin, placing a hand on her shoulder, "then we drown ourselves in the second largest pile of candy next to Halloween."

"Yessssss," Mabel hissed excitedly, "this Summerween is going to be awesome!"

"And that's not all!" Soos continued, pushing himself forward slightly, letting himself turn and speak to Mabel directly," in a few days, the-"

"Soos!"

"Ah, yes, Mister Pines?" Soos pulled back and turned as Stan walked over.

"Getting hot around here. Go fetch a drink or something, would ya?" Stan barked at him. Behind the older man, Dipper subtly nudged Yuki forward, who stumbled mildly yet continued to balance himself as he stepped forward. He cleared his throat just loudly enough for Grunkle Stan to turn around and eye him.

"You know Stan," Yuki started shakily, his voice mildly trembling, "I hear there is a, uh, free hand outs across the carnival. Of..." Yuki turned himself back towards Dipper, who merely shrugged, "oh... money. Yes. They're giving out free money."

"Wow! No way," Soos stepped closer to the two of them, "that's not just crazy, that's unheard of."

"Yeah! Carnivals never give out things for free," Mabel added suspiciously, eying Dipper and Yuki. The alien began to sweat- small beads of moisture forming on his face as he stood there, being eyed by Mabel and Stan. The old man's face had gone wooden as he stared at his newest employee, studying him in a terrible, fear inspiring gaze.

"I bet this is some sort of trick," Soos admitted out loud, "you know, maybe they're giving out gift cards instead of actual money?"

"Soos," Grunkle Stan finally spoke up, "under normal circumstances, under the condition that anyone else told me about this new development, I would agree. But this is Yuki we're talking about here!" Grunkle Stan pointed to the alien, who's matching smile trembled with uncertainty, "the poor kid- err- guy can't even think about lying without his mind collapsing in on itself!" Stan turned to Yuki, who had nodded with agreement on Stan's observation towards him, "lead the way."

"O-okay," Yuki nodded and turned giving Dipper a small yet pointed glance at him. "This way, Stan." The two began to walk away, Stan rubbing his hands together with eagerness as he followed pace, muttering to himself plans for scamming those who would be stupid enough to just 'hand out free money'. As soon as they rounded a corner, Dipper turned to Soos.

"Hey man, you don't think you could go get some drinks for everyone still, could you?" Dipper asked hopefully to Soos.

"Sure thing dawg. Be back in a flash! Whooosh!" Soos turned and galloped away, swaying side to side as gladly romped past several tents. No sooner had Soos turned away to leave, then Dipper grasped the sign by the pole and pulled it out of the dirt, and carried it around to the non-public side of the fence.

"Dipper, what are you doing?" Mabel asked.

"Getting Mina out of here," he told her firmly.

"W-what? Now!?" Mabel gasped, standing up.

"Yeah, right now," he nodded as he dropped the fence onto a pile of hay. "Stan's going to be occupied with Yuki for a while now, and a doctor from L.A. is coming to examine and discern if Mina can be used for generating more mastodons," Dipper told her.

"And you felt like telling me this only now?" Mabel demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at her brother. Dipper halted and glanced her.

"I thought I did tell you," he said.

"You told me you wanted to give her to a lab," She barely moved her lips.

"I did. And we're going to," Dipper patted Mina's side, who eyed him worriedly, unnerved with his sudden movement with the sign from across the fence. "But we need to get her to him now, before Stan tries forging a document of ownership or something."

"I thought you meant weeks or months away! Not two days from meeting her!" Mabel declared, marching over to Dipper, who was beginning to push away the front fence. "Dude, what gives? Are you just telling me things that may have to do with me or my friends?"

"Mabel, I just had to rush this plan so that Stan could get something solid down," Dipper said to her as he patted Mina's side, and gently pushed her forward, "otherwise I would have gotten you in on everything."

"But you didn't-"

"Well, here they are," a new voice called to the twins as they started simultaneously for the opening in the fence.

Three figures stood before them. One was a man roughly in his late forties or fifties, with a very well kept moustache and graying hair. His wear was casual, but very fine- more than likely his polo-shirt and pants were custom tailored for his form. The woman next to him, with very large puffy lips and tan brown hair wore similar, if not nearly matching clothing that was easily tailered to her exact body. Next to them, with her arms crossed and looking very displeased, was Pacifica. The whole Northwest Family.

"Dipper Pines," Preston Northwest stated, taking a step forward with his gloved hand, extending it forward, "and Mabel Pines. I believe we have met."

"You could say that," Dipper crossed his hands tightly as Mabel shook the older man's hand carefully. "What do you three want?" he asked, glaring at them all with equal disdain.

"Dipper, chill," Mabel warned him, elbowing his arm, "what's going, North-by-Northwest family unit?" Mabel asked, putting on her best smile.

"We simply wished to congratulate you on your capture of this majestic beast, and of course, your assistance to our daughter during that fiasco last week," Preston Northwest stated, "why, if you hadn't been there, so we hear, that woman who can throw fire may not have leapt on stage, and the whole show could have been ruined."

"Yes, and it's very important to maintain standards, as a northwest," Pacifica's mother added.

"Yes, and thank to your discovery of this beast here," he pointed to Mina, who blinked and looked to Mabel and Dipper for guidance, "we have something for the masses to gawk in awe at."

"Oh, well, Mina's just happy to meet people," Mabel shrugged.

"Yes. Now, if you wouldn't mind pointing me in the direction of your old man, Stanley Pines. I have a business proposal to run by him regarding your prize here," Preston informed them.

"W-what?" Mabel asked, a faint tingling in her neck warning her of an answer she would not like.

"What do you mean? We're the ones who found Mina!" Dipper declared, "if you want Mina, you talk to us!"

"Dipper, just-" Pacifica started, but Preston continued over her words.

"Listen, young man," Mister Northwest eyed him from his height, "you may have grown since we last met, but you are most certainly not one in charge here," he told him, "discovery is one thing, but ownership? That's another."

Dipper glared at him and then shot a look to Mabel. She returned a worried look, understanding their silent communication. Dipper had been right- try as they might, as long as they were associated with the Mystery Manor, the last say of Mina the Mastodon would be assumed to belong to Grunkle Stan, despite his relative non-existence in discovering her.

"Well, what's the deal for then?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"Nothing," Pacifica quickly said, looking to her parents, "not your business."

"Oh, well, Preston was just thinking about adding to part of his collection, you see," Miss Northwest stated.

"Quite! Can't have enough stuffed things, am I right?" he said, and chuckled with his wife. Mabel felt the color of her skin fade and sink into the deep recesses of her body. That wasn't just a purchase for a zoo, or for a pet. They wanted Mina for a specific, brutal purpose, one that fit entirely with Northwest traditions: trophies.

"Mom, Dad, I'll take care of this, why don't you two go on for a bit," Pacifica said to them loudly.

"Why, of course we will," Miss Northwest rolled her eyes and turned with her husband, "remember to wipe the dirt from your shoes, Pacifica," she added as the two turned and left. As they left, Pacifica turned to the two of them, a long-lost look deep in her eyes.

"You didn't need to hear that Mabel," Pacifica told her with a deeply troubled look, "I'm so sorry."

"But- but they can't buy Mina! She's priceless!" Mabel declared, marching back and hugging the scared Mastodon's trunk. "One of a kind!"

"She may be," Pacifica informed her, "but is Stanley?" Mabel and Dipper looked again to one another, this time Dipper winning her over entirely. "Just how much money do you think my parents would be willing to throw at your Grand Uncle to win over a one-of-a-kind animal to stuff and present in their foyer? Enough to buy away her from you?"

"More than enough for Stan to retire," Dipper agreed solemnly.

"Listen, I don't know what you guys were doing before we came along, but if you want that thing to not be killed in the name of sport," Pacifica bluntly said, "you might want to get her out of here."

"Right," Dipper nodded. He patted Mina's side again, and she lumbered forward with him, passing the fence. As the two moved out, Waddles playing sentry atop the young Mastodon, Dipper passed close by Pacifica. The two made sure not to give each other more than a second to glance at the other as they passed by.

"Thanks, Pacifica," Mabel nodded to the blonde as she trailed behind the two. Before Pacifica could give a reply, Mabel ran into the rear of Mina, and bounced back. "Ow. Hey, Mina, what's going-" Mabel stepped around, followed by the blond. Dipper had stopped in his tracks, staring dead ahead with wide eyes.

"Just where exactly are you taking Mina?" Stan asked, his arms crossed as he tapped his foot.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel declared, looking between Dipper and Stan. She realized that there was a particular missing person. "Where is Yuki?"

"Yeah, where is Uki-Dohth?" Pacifica added.

"He took me to the fun house, and then got lost. If there was supposed to be a free-give away of money, he certainly couldn't find it in there," Stan told the three.

"You just left him in there?" Pacifica demanded.

"I shouted that I'd be back for him later," Stan waved his hand aside, dismissing the lost soul somewhere across the carnival, "now, mind telling me why you took down my sign?"

Mabel turned her gaze towards her brother. He still hadn't said a thing. Behind his eyes, Mabel knew Dipper's head was racing at an alarming pace; easily cooking up a new idea that could probably get all of this resolved without anything crazy.

Or at least, it was what Mabel had hoped she would have seen.

"Grunkle Stan! Look! The cast from The Duchess Approves!" Dipper pointed. Like Grunkle Stan was dodging a bolt of lightning, he whipped around and stared.

"Where?!"

"RUN!" Dipper had spun Mina around and taken off at a high speed, leaving Mabel and Pacifica in the dust.

"What the heck- you cheating little- GET BACK HERE!" Grunkle Stan shouted, running after him, past Mabel and Pacifica, and then after Soos, who spun around as his employer charged off.

"I got the drinks, Mister Pines!" Soos called, holding a tray of varying colors and levels of ice content. When Stan only raced away, he turned and found a shocked Mabel and Pacifica staring after them. "Oh hey. Either of you want a drink?" he offered, holding up a cup. "No? Okay, I'll just have them over here," Soos said, walking through the opened fence. "Hey, neat new idea for the pen. It probably makes people think they're walking among the Mastodons like they were one of them."

"Great," Pacifica growled, "now they're running around my carnival with a large, prehistoric animal. Just great- Mabel?!"

Mabel ran after them, her feet digging into the dirt and gravel laid around them. This was ridiculous; and not in the fun, goofy, entertaining way. As she raced to catch up with the now stampeding Mastodon, her brother, and her grand uncle, she could only feel a boiling anger inside her that yet seemed unjustified.

Through a tent Mina pillaged, as Mabel caught up with them. Knocking over a series of squeaking and squawking plushes to the ground, Mina was becoming panicked in a hurry, and Waddles was just in for the ride, still sitting complacently atop her back and watching the destruction with a calm eye. The tent-keeper barely had time to dive out of the way, and the family he was trying to bargain with run while screaming.

Then Stan caught up with Dipper, and he took the reigns. Calling Mina over his way, the ancient elephant plowed her way over a slip 'n slide, thoroughly becoming tangled in the plastic sleeves and having water splashed over the three run-away figures. As Mina came to a slowing pace, freaked out by the large amount of color wrapped around her legs, Dipper and Stan rounded on each other, entirely forgetting about the poor, scared animal.

"What's the deal, kid!?" Stan shouted.

"You tell me- going to sell Mina to anyone we know!?" Dipper demanded.

"HA! Yeah right! She's a living gold mine, and I'd sooner shoot off my own leg than get rid of her!" Stan barked back, "so what; you're trying to swindle me of the cash? I'd commend you for the plan, if it wasn't working against me-"

"I'm not taking her for money!" Dipper rounded, stepping closer, "Mina is the last Mastodon, and her DNA could resurrects her entire species!"

"Could! It could!" Stan pointed out, "and where exactly does an elephant sized creature go roaming around the wilderness of North American, huh kiddo? Our backyard has barely enough size for one, let alone thousands!"

"It would be wrong to let the humanitarian thing slip by!" Dipper angrily explained, pointing to Mina, "what if she's lonely!?"

"She has a pig!" he pointed atop the back of Mina, where Waddles tilted his head and oinked, "And since when did humanitarianism do anything for you!?" Stan laughed in a loud, boisterous boom. "Listen, kid, these guys had their time! Now we can just make her comfortable and us rich!"

"I could say the same about you!" Dipper barked. "Time is up-"

"SHUUT UUUP!"

Both hotly debating men, Dipper and Stan, came to a standstill and froze in place like statues. As the heavy breathing of an infuriated brunette told them, Mabel had fully caught up, and probably overheard the entire argument. Her fists were so tightly clenched it wasn't a surprise if steam wasn't streaking out of her hands like rushing steams of rage-filled water. Her steps were self-contained as she approached them, marching over as the furious drill sergeant ready to discipline. Dipper and Stan, both witnessing the unadulterated menace they had created pulled back, but dared not move; lest they provoke attack. She was only feet from them...

And she stepped aside from them and started untangling Mina from her constraints. One by one Mina lifted her feet gingerly, and allowed Mabel to release her from confinement. As Mabel finished her untangling, and turned her gaze back towards the two men, another figure approached, in shock and fury to match Mabel.

"TWO TENTS!" Pacifica roared angrily, "TWO?! You couldn't just hit one, you had to mow down TWO!? HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT?! _AND_ THE KIDS SLIP AND SLIDE?!"

"What is your guys problem!?" Mabel babbled at them, "I don't care if what you're trying to do benefits us or the world, but you're forgetting the only person who gets to make that CHOICE!"

Dipper and Stan exchanged glances between the two fury-driven ladies, and then looked to Mina, who's dark eyes seemed to shimmer with tears. Pacifica's breaths slowed down enough for her to straighten up and flick hair from out of her eyes. She snapped her fingers loudly, and several large, shade-wearing men appeared from sections of the carnival.

"Please escort Mister and Mister Pines from the premise," Pacifica told the guards, who all nodded. Two reached for Dipper, and two reached for Stan, and their grips were not to be resisted.

"Oh, c'mon! Northwest! It was just a mistake!" Stan roared as he was shoved away first.

"Wait! Mabel!" Dipper tried calling back as he was almost dragged away, "Mabel, I'm sorry!"

"I'll be taking the money you've earned as a means of paying back the tents," Pacifica yelled at the two men as they were forced away. Stan barely had a chance to shout back in indignation before he was out of sight, along with Dipper.

Mabel watched the two relatives of her get pulled away. A crowd had gathered from the screams and commotion of a large creature, and pointed and spoke to their close comrades as they watched Mabel and Pacifica. The blonde eyed them with a daring glare, and slowly the people backed away and went about their usual routines and journeys through the carnival. Mabel let her legs give away, and she fell to the ground in a seat.

"Well," Pacifica turned to face Mabel, "I suppose... it was only two tents, and not the whole dang carnival." Mabel looked to her and shrugged. "It's improvement for your family," Pacifica said with a straight face.

Mabel stared at her, blinking occasionally. The blue-eyed girl stared back, a quivering lip betraying her stoic look. It had been a joke. Mabel snorted and let herself laugh, leaning back against Mina's foot while Pacifica laughed along with her, holding her side in a sharp gasp.

"Ow- ow- cramp. Ow."

"You okay?" Mabel asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Yeah, just... running, and working, and shouting... laughing would be the one thing that made me hurt, wouldn't it?" Pacifica asked Mabel, shaking her head sadly.

"You need to hang out with us more often then," Mabel smirked, "plenty to laugh at when we're around usually." Pacifica snorted and walked over, offering a lowered hand to Mabel. With a wide smile on her face, knowing she had regained if not a friend, an ally, Mabel took it and let herself be pulled up.

"Mabel," Pacifica told her, her face reddening mildly in her cheeks, "I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what; kicking out my family? Nah, they had it coming," Mabel admitted in a huff.

"No. For pretending I didn't remember you," Pacifica told her. "I... it's been hard living the same without you and Dipper around. You guys," she laughed and looked up into the sky, "you changed so many things around here the first summer, and... I was one of them, I guess," she admitted with a shy smile, "but I had to survive, you know? Being tough... it helped."

"Well, no muss no fuss," Mabel patted her re-gained friend's shoulder, "at least you didn't die or something while we were away. That would have been horrible."

"Did that happen to someone you know?" Pacifica asked worriedly. Mabel shrugged.

"Not to my knowledge," Mabel sighed, and turned to Mina, who was rubbing Waddle's head still. "What am I going to do with her?" Mabel asked out loud, staring at the calming mastodon. "Dipper isn't wrong by letting her go with that doctor or whatever, but if let her leave, Waddles and her will be separated, and your parents may still try buying her," Mabel added worriedly to Pacifica, who nodded firmly.

"They will. They don't miss an opportunity to collect something rare when it's available," Pacifica noted. Mabel sighed, and rubbed Mina's smaller tusks gently, looking up into the eyes of the concerned animal. This sounded like a lose-lose kind of situation. Someone was going to walk away unhappy, and Mina could be that person to get the worse of both deals. "Mabel," Pacifica suddenly spoke up after a few quiet moments, "I... I think I have an idea."

The blond nodded for her to follow with a tilt of the head, and the three, Mabel, Mina, and Waddles, follower Pacifica away from the scene of the crime and towards the single non-tented building. There, standing by a large cooler, a suited, but dirty looking man rested, placing his head against the wall behind him as he stared to the sky.

"Mister Gullian," Pacifica cleared her throat as she spoke. The man started and looked down, spotting the sudden appearance of the four. He had sparse black hair that had slowly fallen from his head. "This guy is the owner of this carnival."

"Miss Northwest- woah. Ohhh, look at her," the man known as Gullian stepped forward, passing Pacifica and to Mabel and Mina. "This is the Mastodon I've heard about in my carnival," he said to Pacifica, and then looked to Mabel, "you must be her friend who brought her here."

"Why yes, sir, I am," Mabel nodded, a smile growing on her face. The man, wearing a dusty vest and work shirt had a kind, youthful voice behind his worn wrinkled skin. Skinny and gangly, he appeared as almost a friendly grandpa who refused to properly age.

"What's her name?" he asked Mabel, offering a sky-faced palm for Mina to inspect, which she did quickly. "She's very friendly."

"Being locked up in ice would do that to you," Mabel cheekily told him, "her name is Mina."

"Mina. Love it," he patted the base of the trunk with a soft, gently rub. "What brings you, oh, and the gentlemen riding Mina," the man named Gullian stated, spotting Waddles, "over to the base?"

"Mabel and Mina have a bit of a problem," Pacifica told him, catching the older man's attention. "They need someone to watch Mina while people calm down about the fact she's an actual Mastodon."

"Too much greenlight?" he asked Mabel, who gasped and nodded.

"Yes! Everyone wants her for something different," Mabel scoffed, "and I don't know what to do with her now. If she stays, people could try to hurt her for tusks or whatever. But if I let a scientist take her, she'll be locked up in a lab for years."

"And neither of those sound too comfortable," Mister Gullian nodded with agreement.

"So, what do we do with her?" Mabel asked the man.

He puzzled, and eyed her. Her worries transformed into confusion when he started laughing and shook his head. "Why not ask her?" he told Mabel.

Mabel stared at him, and grinned. It was what she wanted to do. Maybe, just maybe, this man here was just as nutty and weird as she was. Without another thought, Mabel spun and approached Mina. "Hey Mina," Mabel asked, "Look, I know you're been through a lot recently... but we think you need to choose something big," Mabel spoke to Mina as one of her own, and the Mastodon continued to watch her, apparently listening. "If you stay here, you'll be able to keep playing with Waddles, but I don't know if that will last and you may be hurt," Mabel admitted, "and if we send you with this scientist person, you'll never be really in danger, but you'll probably be kept up in a zoo or lab forever. I... I don't want to tell you what you should do, buddy," Mabel admitted, hugging to Mina's trunk.

Mina looked to her, and jostled her trunk, letting Mabel know she had to let go for a second. The Mastodon turned around, staring at the distant treeline, and the sky, and even the tents around her; dark eyes drinking in the amazing colors and her large ears capturing each and every laugh, giggle, or cry of excitement. The emotive beast turned and extended her trunk to Gullian.

"Pardon?" the man asked, taking a step closer to let her touch him. Her trunk wrapped around his hand, and before he knew it, she was giving him a hand shake. "Oh... ohhh," he said with a small smile.

"Mina, you want to go with him?" Mabel asked, blinking in confusion. Quickly the Mastodon turned and blew a loud trumpet, happily acknowledging her choice. "So... you want to be a circus mastodon?" Mabel clarified one last time. A flexible, hairy trunk reached out and ruffled Mabel's hair, who laughed and grabbed at it gently, "okay! Okay, you silly thing!"

"I suppose I can take her under my wing," Gullian said with a shrug, "she'll be well fed and we'll make sure she can decide whether or not she wants attention. Hopefully she likes travel," he added, checking with Mabel.

"Locked up for ten thousand years would make you want to get around, wouldn't it?" Mabel laughed cheekly, and the carnival owner laughed with her.

"Well then, Mina, if you'd come with me, I can get you nice and signed up for travel," Gullian stated, and extended an arm for the Mastodon.

"Oh! One second," Mabel stated as she walked next to Mina, and picked up Waddles, and placed him on the ground. "Okay. Mina," Mabel walked to the front of the animal, and wrapped her arms tightly around her neck, "good luck out there sweety."

Mabel walked away, sniffling mildly, with Pacifica on her trail. Waddles did turn to, until he realized that Mina was not following. Those loud steps she took, pressing her heavy feet into mud were vacant. The pink pig turned, and oinked loudly. Mina spun around, staring at the pig, her trunk hanging limp as she watched her pink boyfriend stride up to her.

"Waddles, she can't stay with us," Mabel said, realizing the confusion of her pig.

The pig turned back to Mabel once, and then stared at his massive girlfriend. Perhaps something inside the pig finally clicked, or maybe he had known it was bound to come sooner than later, but Waddles stepped closer to her, and with the end of his flat nose, he bopped her trunk gently, and turned away. Waddles didn't get very far; Mina extended her trunk, wrapped it around him, and carried him up one last time, rocking him back and forth in a gently air-graced hug. Mabel's lower lip started to tremble as she watched her pink pig get lowered and walk back to her.

Mabel and Pacifica walked away from the building, leaving behind the mastodon to the owner, who already could be seen talking animatedly to the animal much like Mabel would have been. Her eyes still watered as she turned away and tried telling herself that she wouldn't cry.

"You okay, Mabel?" Pacifica asked.

"Y-yeah. Just, you know," she admitted, "waddles and her were so close."

"Well, you never know," Pacifica shrugged, "distance doesn't always kill a relationship. Always," she added, a dark look overcoming her eyes as she looked away. Mabel caught wind of her meaning, and put a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should talk to him about it."

"I... no. No. He's still mad at me, and I'm... ugh, I guess I'm still a little mad too," Pacifica admitted, crossing her arms together.

"It was three years ago girl," Mabel told her, an arm on her shoulder. Pacifica blinked, and suddenly looked around. "What?" Mabel asked.

"I just thought... someone's been missing for a while," then she jolted up and spun around, "the funhouse!"

"Huh? The funhouse has been missing?" Mabel asked as Pacifica stormed away. As the blond vanished, Mabel looked down to her piggy friend, and sighed. "Just you and me, buddy. Let's go find Soos and our criminal family members."

"Oink."

Mabel and Waddles walked through the destructive path of Mina, tracing their way back towards their once-used tent. There Soos was standing, foot propped against the side of a pole, where he finished the last of his drinks he had purchased. "Oh, so I guess we're done then?" he asked when Mabel had explained everything that had happened afterwards.

With Soos joining in on the trail, Mabel and him packed up the remaining goods and property worth salvaging from the tent, and headed towards the entrance. There, standing by the cars in a huff in the parking lot, Stan and Dipper waited.

"Mabel!" Dipper called out when he spotted them approaching.

"Boys," she called to them dropping from her arms the sign and a barrel of food for Mina.

"Hey kiddo," Grunkle Stan said as he and Dipper approached, rubbing his hands together, "yeah, uh, we think we may have gone a bit overboard with trying to decide what to do with the elephant. Just, you know, to let you know."

"What Grunkle Stan means," Dipper said with a long sigh, "is that we're sorry. We let it get to our heads, and we were kind of jerks not taking yours or Mina's account into the plans."

"Well, it doesn't matter as much now," Mabel sighed and put her hands on both before her, "Mina will be staying with the carnival."

"Huh? You let her go?" Stan demanded. Mabel glared at him, and he gave out a hacking cough, "I mean, oh, she made her choice. Right." Mabel nodded, and pointed behind her to the carried out objects from their tent. "Okay, we got them."

"Mabel," Dipper said, his eyes heavy with guilt as he stared to her, "I really am sorry."

"You want to make it up to me?" Mabel asked him, glancing behind her and gasping. Perfect timing- two figures were leaving the front gates together. Yuki: shaken, scared, and nervous looking was being guided with a firm hand by Pacifica, who was apprently trying to assure him of something. "Go talk to her," Mabel pointed behind herself when she turned back to her brother, "and wrap this stupid stuff up between you two."

"But-" Mabel crossed her hands and warned him of disobedience. "I..." Dipper grumbled and walked past her.

Approaching Pacifica, Dipper strode closer and closer, worry and fret building inside his mind as he considered what to say. There were so many things he wanted to get off his chest. So many different angry messages he had saved for a rainy day against her. Yet, watching her sooth Yuki, who seemed under a considerable amount of stress, he found those hateful messages washing away down a drain of darkness.

"Uki-Dohth, it's okay," Pacifica told him again.

"But why would one do that to yourself," he asked no one in particular, his gaze clouded and unfocused, "so many reflections and refractions of misdirection and-"

"Yuki?" Dipper asked as he came closer.

"With all the different variables of light, one could simply be lost inside one forever," Yuki continued muttering to himself.

"Jeesh, the funhouse did this to him?" Dipper asked Pacifica, who sighed and shrugged.

"He was in a corner, huddled up and shaking. Something about the mirrors being everywhere freaked him out," she told him, and Yuki let out a single rattling breath, "messed him up pretty bad."

"Yuki?" Dipper snapped his fingers before his friend, catching the alien's attention, "go across the parking lot to Mabel. We're going home for the day."

"N-no more funhouses?" Yuki asked with a mild stammer. When Dipper nodded, Yuki sighed, spun around, and grasped Pacifica's hand, "thank you for the tour. Alert me should there be another such event I might attend," he told her, and started a shaky walk to the car. Dipper laughed slightly as Pacifica sighed.

"Poor guy," Dipper said to her off-handedly, "he's still getting used to how things work here."

"I can tell," she nodded, "he thought pellet guns were a novelty," she snickered to Dipper, who grinned.

The eye contact they briefly shared was enough to remind them of their previous woes. Dipper coughed and turned away, feeling a heat grow in his neck, while Pacifica straightened the collar of her dress, and looked around to the parking lot, perhaps trying to find anything more interesting than the two of them standing next to one another. A few moments later, after both attempts to distract failed, they turned back.

"I'm sorry-" they both started.

"Oh, go ahead," Dipper shook his head and nodded to her.

"No, by all means-" Pacifica shrugged and eyed him.

"Oh, okay," Dipper licked his dry lips, "I, uh, wanted to apologize."

"Yeah. Same here," Pacifica shrugged.

"I was a jerk to you," Dipper said.

"Same," Pacifica agreed.

"I never should have lead you on in the first place," Dipper told her as he looked directly at her.

"Neither shou- wait, what?" Pacifica blinked and stared at him.

"When you asked me about Wendy... I wasn't just lying to you, but myself," Dipper scratched his head nervously as he spilled his secrets, "and... letting us become the way we were? I let you get hurt because I thought I could let go."

"Oh..." Pacifica nodded, her lips pursed tightly as she listened intently.

"I, well, uh..." Dipper shrugged, "I was stupid. I tend do be that a lot," he added, chuckling to himself as he nervously chewed on his lip. "So... yeah... I'm sorry."

"T-thanks, Dip," Pacifica smiled lightly. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply, and in one solid breath, let out her own apology, "I'msorryIyelledatyouthewayIdid-IknowIshouldn'thavebutIwasangry-butthatdoesn'tjustfywhatIdid..." Pacifica sighed and panted, watching Dipper, who stared at her with confusion.

"Uh... right," he nodded.

"Dipper, you weren't the only one who was stupid," Pacifica told him, and extended her hand for a shake. Dipper eyed it, and grinned, taking it into a pleasant handshake. "Friends?" she asked.

"Friends," he replied candidly. "Hey, you know, we can always hang out again, like we did three years ago. I bet Mabel would love to catch up with you on things, and we can show you the new stuff in the Manor."

"Dipper, I'm crazy busy," Pacifica sighed as she took her hand from the shake, "I can barely see people my family are comfortable with me hanging around. I'll see if I ever do have the time, but if you guys come back to an event I'm hosting again, maybe we can chat while I'm working?"

"Sure. Maybe we'll contain the damage instead of encourage it next time?" Dipper asked and laughed. Pacifica smiled, but let her grin die as she started eying Dipper with sharp, critical eyes. His laughing slowed, remember that he had only too recently caused property damage with Stan. "Too soon?"

"Yeah. Talk to you later," she told him, and with a curt turn, she marched back inside the fair grounds. Dipper turned, shrugging to himself as he walked back to Mabel, who was waiting for him with a wide, brimming sunny smile. "Better?" he asked.

"It would have only been better if I had listened to it!" she squealed, and quickly wrapped her arms around her brother. The two climbed into the cars with the others, and started their departure from the carnival. From Dipper's car, a small pink pig propped himself up from the back window, and stared as they gained distance from the carnival groups.

"Cheer up buddy," Mabel told Waddles as he sat back down next to her, "I'm sure you'll meet her again."

* * *

They will.

So, a bit of a messy ending, but this chapter also became known in my notes as 'a lot of social crud goes down'. Hopefully you all enjoyed it! :D

So, it's late, and I don't have much to talk about this time- sorry for those of you that hold your breath on my words. (Question you: WHY? I'm boring!)

The next episode is a BIG one guys. Hope you're ready for some more characters from the past, and some biiiig OC's about to hit the main scene. Next episode is simply called: Duskhope.

You know what's coming. :) (A large full-metal guitar crashes through EZB's ceiling and crushes hum to the floor, while still humming the soft melodies of the band that inspired Duskhope- Nightwish. Maybe you should check them out if you want some ideas as to what the next episode's songs sound like.)

* * *

**Nrmz zmw Dzwwovh: xlnrmt hllm gl gsvzgvih. Yfb blfi grxpvgh mld, yvxzfhv lmv wzb gsv Tizergb Uzooh Gsvzgvi dlm'g vcrhg.**


	31. Duskhope: Part 1

"Hey Dipper?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever think back and remember when things weren't so crazy?" Mabel asked him as she watched a crowd assorted of a family of six squeeze past them as they exited the gift shop. Dipper sighed easily and shook his head. "Me neither," Mabel grinned.

Mabel looked over from their spot in the gift shop. Not a slow day for a change, the shop was occupied by new-comers to the town; those who have heard of the crazy rumors about the wildlife and monsters. Thrill-seekers, would-be skeptics, and, much to Wendy's dismay, more amateur paranormal investigators, vied for tickets for the Mystery Manor, which bragged exclusive tips from the supposed 'Man of Mystery' himself, Stanley Pines. The hints usually involved vague and mysterious clues, inclining people to buy more of his merchandise. So far, it was a working machine of finance.

"Thanks; enjoy your day, dudes," Wendy called as she handed a bag to a small group of young couples, probably about twenty or so. As they left and the shop calmed for a moment, she sighed. "Man. Days like this make me miss going and doing stuff."

"What'chu talking about, Corduroy?" Mabel demanded, obtaining sass from the air itself. She grinned as she left Dipper to muse in his own thoughts, looking into his journal quietly. "I bet you have tons of time to go out and hang."

"Yeah. With who?" Wendy reminded them, leaning on the counter, "most of my friends aren't too keen on hanging with me."

"But you're awesome," Mabel told her, patting her arm sympathetically.

"Eh, I don't know about that," Wendy rolled her eyes as she fought a grin.

"Wendy, maybe what we should do," Mabel suggested, and eyed her brother, holding her announcement. Dipper slowly became aware of the pause, and looked up. The glint in her eye told him exactly what she wanted to say, and he gasped, "a huge crazy date night!" Mabel announced, looking back to Wendy, shooting her arms high into the air.

"Oh! That does sound awesome!" Wendy cheered. Dipper laughed and left the wall.

"C'mon guys," Dipper started, his cheeks struggling to hide a gently blush, "we really shouldn't call it a _date_. It's just us, hanging out together."

"Dipper, we can't call something as awesome as this a 'hang out'," Mabel turned on him quickly, and dropped her voice to mock his words, "this is us going out to do something freaking cool! Like... bowling! But with giant bouncy balls!"

"They have those?" Wendy asked.

"Nope. I just kind of thought we'd sneak them in and throw them at the pins like-" Mabel unleashed a bellowing cry. As she had, a trio of kids had started to step inside the Manor; but the moment she unleashed her war cry, they spun around and ran, whimpering in fear, "just like that."

Dipper and Wendy started laughing, leaving Mabel oblivious to her course of distress to the now fleeing kids.

"Guys!" Soos suddenly called from deeper into the building. The three turned, but then someone called from outside the building.

"Guys!" Arline called as she rushed to the front door.

The two calling rushed into the gift shop at the same time, excitedly looking to the three by the counter, and opening their mouths to speak at the same time. Only then they spotted each other, and smiled.

"You first, Soos," Arline nodded to him.

"Oh, no, by all means," Soos waved to her, "guest speaks first."

"What's in your hands?" Mabel asked, spotting something clutched in their grips. If there had been any hope of getting them to speak at the same time, that was the spark that exploded that hope. Fortunately, they said the same thing.

"I JUST GOT TICKETS FOR DUSKHOPE!"

The exploding stereo boom that the two created shook the gift shop and the foundation. As they had started, the two paused and looked to one another.

"You got tickets?" They again both asked.

"Duskhope, that's that band you really like, isn't it Soos?" Wendy asked, eying the two of them, "nice man."

"Aw, thanks Wendy. They're here tomorrow at the convention center!" Soos announced, "and it's going to be one of the coolest things to happen to Gravity Falls ever! Well, coolest that doesn't involve having it nearly destroyed, taken over by power-hungry mini-dudes, or replaced by robots."

"Uh... that all happened?" Arline asked to the twins, who synchronously nodded. "Wow."

"So you're going too?" Mabel asked her master, who shook her head. "Wait, then why so excited?"

"Because you are!" Arline told them, approaching them and hand Mabel a manila envelope. "Look inside," she said, as Mabel pulled open the tab and into her hands three tickets identical to Soos' fell.

"What?!" Mabel gasped, and stared to her master in gaping shock.

"Why the heck would you give us these?" Dipper demanded, also in shock, but not to the point of speechlessness, "aren't these like eighty dollars or whatever?"

"Won them for free. I don't even remember taking a survey or whatever. I got them in the mail recently, and then- boom. Three. I don't really care for the band myself, but I figured I'd hand them off to you guys. Go wild," she added as she grinned.

Mabel screeched and lunged forward, grabbing onto her master stomach and squeezing as tight as she could. Arline coughed but laughed at Mabel's incoherent 'thanks you's' which piled atop one another like a bad record playing.

"Thanks so much, Arline," Dipper managed to say, eying the tickets with awe. "This is super cool."

"Pssh, don't worry about it," Arline waved her hand, "you guys could use a break. Maybe now that I've given you the tickets, you'll re-consider joining Mabel and me for training?" Arline said, eying him with a small twinkle in her eyes. Dipper blinked and gave a shy grin. Had this been a clever bribe just to get him in on the action? Dipper gave consideration to who it was bribing him, and he doubted it.

"Oh-my-god," Mabel blurted out, "this is it."

"Huh?" Dipper and Wendy said, turning to her as she held the tickets above her head.

"This is our super-amazing-mega-crazy date plan!" Mabel declared proudly, and turned to Soos, "and we can _all_ go!" Mabel began to jump up and down in a circle, hopping around the room with boundless energy.

"Oh, yeah," Wendy smiled toothily, "that sounds cool. So, are they, like back row seats or whatever?" Wendy asked to Arline, who shrugged.

"Sounded more like standard mob actually," she admitted, "somewhere between chaos and order, so everyone has a chance to jump as high as they can and see that pretty-boy lead-singer."

"Pretty boy?" Mabel's hopping came to a screeching halt and she turned to Arline. Soos was the one to answer quicker though.

"Yeah. Zander Maximillion," he said, "the guy isn't just a prodigy of all forms of music, but a great guy! He was supposed to go on 'Shallow Monthly's Top Fifty Hottest Men of the Year', but he doesn't like being put on cameras."

"Ohhh, this just keeps getting better and better," Mabel stomped the floor with machine gun-like legs, standing in place as her mind flew at a thousand miles per hour.

"Yeah!" Dipper nodded, "if we're lucky, this will be the first non-eventful show we go to at Gravity Falls," Dipper stated with a small chuckle. The others laughed with him.

"So, we all going?" Mabel asked, grabbing her brother by the shoulders as she wrapped her arms around him, "cus this sounds like something we totally need to do."

"I'm in," Dipper shrugged.

"Totally in," Soos stated defiantly. The three turned to Wendy. He expression was strange. As Dipper studied it briefly, she seemed excited. Or at least _seemed_ excited.

"Uh, I'll have to check with, you know, family stuff," Wendy admitted, looking around the shop as she spoke, "you know- make sure my dad isn't planning anything crazy for the weekend."

"What?" Mabel said, her energy dropping. Dipper stared at the red-head, his eyes fixed on her.

"You were ready to go when we were planning a bowling trip," Dipper pointed out, and Wendy's gaze fixed onto him, "I thought you liked this sort of thing?" Dipper asked, frowning.

"Come with us, come with us," Mabel and Soos started chanting for Wendy. Dipper never let his eyes leave her, and she stared at him. Dipper could feel a sort of tension there, behind her gaze. It was like... it was secretive and afraid. Dipper wanted to ask if she was okay, but then she blinked and looked to the others.

"Okay, okay," Wendy broke the stare-off and smiled, "I'll go. I'm just being a little nervous- I'm rusty with mob crowds, you know?" she admitted. Soos and Mabel cheered loudly, and the brunette ran around and hugged the woman, only a few inches shorter than her.

Dipper continued to watch Wendy. She had, after the moment and a half of looking to Dipper relented and given in to the common desires of the rest of the group. Yet Dipper knew there was something else there- something buried inside her mind. He could tell by sheer experience; he had seen that look before in another person. He had seen it in Grunkle Stan.

Before they discovered the portal. Before they knew about his brother.

Like the devil himself summoning him, Grunkle Stan walked through the door, holding a large cardboard box. "And I can already tell something strange is going on," he stated, "when with the sudden boost of new customers my shop is empty. You scaring them away, Hirsh?" he demanded pointedly, glaring at the woman. With a scowl and look at her friends, she took her cue to leave.

"Anyway, you guys have fun! Tell me how awesome it was later!" she told them excitedly, and glanced back at Grunkle Stan, daring him to say anything else. As she left, the old man sighed and shook his head.

"When is she going to leave already," he grumbled as he walked into she room, hoisting the box slightly up his arms as he approached a shelf.

"Aw, c'mon Stan," Wendy stated, "she's fine."

"Yeah! What's your problem with my master?" Mabel demanded, her arms crossed angrily.

"My problem is that we could be having a family of ten come by, and I'm one room short with her slinking around here still," Grunkle Stan said to them, shoving away cheep products onto their corresponding shelves. "Besides, what did she want now? Trying to see if she can't ruin another business opportunity?"

"She gave us tickets to the coming concert tomorrow," Dipper explained plainly. Stan turned to look at them, a frown growing deeper in his face. "What?" Dipper asked the old man when he grumbled something under his breath and continued laying things around the Manor.

"Nothing. Go have fun or whatever you kids call going to a concert," Stan said grumpily.

"Ooh! A concert?" Yuki asked, poking his head through the door.

"You aren't going!" Stan turned to Yuki, who flinched and cowed in his shout.

"B-but that's another earth-based event I'd like to experience," he said with sad eyes.

"Well too bad. You got to go to the carnival earlier this week, so you can stay here and help me with the shop," Stan ordered him.

"But going to the carnival _was_ helping the shop," Yuki protested.

"Can it, nerd!" Stan barked at him, "when you have enough of your own money for a ticket, you can go." Yuki bowed his head, and slowly slipped back inside the Manor, eying the four with envy. "As for you lot, you better make darn sure if you meet anyone important you let 'em know where you stay!" Stan demanded of them.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, shameless pandering, we got it," Dipper nodded, appeasing the older man. Mabel suddenly gasped, and grasped her brother. "Ack! What?" he demanded of her.

"I need to call Grenda and Candy- see if they want in on this!" Mabel gasped, and ran for the phone in the other room. Wendy watched her go, her eyes widened.

"Uh, I thought it would be just the four of us?" Wendy asked, pausing Mabel at the doorway, but she spun, still smiling.

"Don't worry Wendy. The girls like you," Mabel laughed, and vanished behind the wall, leaving the three to dwell on the exciting day in their future.

* * *

Saturday had come, and with it, the excitement balled up into an unstoppable Mabel bouncing ball. Dipper was excited too, almost allowing himself to be infected by his sister's antics of running around and around with no hope of stopping. It wasn't until getting into Dipper's car, as he had opted to pick everyone up, that Mabel could calm down enough to retain herself into once place. She wouldn't stay still though- bouncing up and down in the seat; actually bouncing the car up and down gently.

Wendy was easy to pick up- she had apparently walked from her house to the Manor, and was half way to the building when they had her join the crew. To Mabel's amazement, she was in different garb. Despite the hot day, she wore a black jacket and her hair had been tucked into her hat, giving her the appearance of a pixie cut. Mabel was quick to leave a small teasing comment, which Dipper did refute, giving Wendy his best, and to his pride, most subtle compliment to her appearances.

Soos was ready for them as they drove to his house. His usual wear had been entirely replaced with nothing but garb that belonged to the band. Duskhope t-shirt, Duskhope shoes, Duskhope socks, and he wanted to show them the Duskhope underwear, but the general consensus was they would have to trust him on that one.

Then finally, they arrived at the massive convention center. The huge building had been used for all manners of bands, conventions, and snooty high-class events the twins had no interest in. They had seen the insanely thick crowds for Sev'ral Timez and all it's tween immaculate attention. This crowd dwarfed it.

Too many cars to belong to Gravity Falls, and even possibly Oregon were here. The parking lot extended into a nearby meadow, to where Dipper had to park. Noon had just come, and already people were rushing past them eager to get inside.

"Ohhh man," Mabel chattered her teeth as she stepped out, "I'm going into hyper-mode!"

"You weren't in hyper-mode earlier?" Dipper asked, somewhat fearful of the turn of events. Mabel shook her head so fast and with such vigor he was afraid she would rip her neck clean off. "Wow. Okay. Chill."

"CAN'T. TOO MUCH... ENERGY..." Mabel blurted out with as she attempted to withhold her power.

"Well save that energy dude," Soos told them, "Duskhope is a total scream-fest. They love it when people shout, sing, or yell the lyrics with them. Or shouting in general- they like audience participation."

"THESE PEOPLE WILL LOVE-" Mabel held herself down, and coughed, "ahem. These people will love me."

"Okay, let's get inside," Wendy said, looking around the parking lot, "it's kind of hot out here."

"Then put your jacket inside, dude," Dipper laughed, but Wendy shrugged.

"Can't man. This is my, uh, official mob-jacket. I wear it to these sort of things," she told him with a complacent grin. Dipper shrugged, but studied her, and realized she wasn't sweating yet.

"Onward?" Soos asked.

"CHARGE!" Mabel roared and bolted off, knocking over man stepping out of a car from California.

The three slowly caught up with Mabel, who had been jogging in place at the ticket stand, waiting for them. Passing by the man, who was eternally distressed with the line that seemed to wrap around the entire massive building, they made it inside. The collector eyed each of their tickets, tearing off a tag and letting them pass by. It wasn't until they were inside that they found themselves stunned.

The stage was constructed like a huge mountain top. The edge of the stage seemed to be rock and vines, and the sides were large redwood like trees, with the top of the stage being the canopy. They had stepped inside just to meet the image they had constantly seen when they step outside of the Mystery Manor. There was, much to Dipper and Mabel's shock, a whole orchestra set up past the stage, in a roped off section, warming up and conversing with themselves.

"Yeah dude," Soos answered them as they asked him about it, moving closer inside, "whenever they perform, they get the best local orchestra and choir to help out with their music."

"What?" Wendy asked, shock and amusement etched in her grin, "these guys are this rich?"

"When it comes to symphonic-operatic-epic-metal," Soos established, "there is no higher band than them."

"Jeesh," Wendy hissed, looking around, "and they have seats too?"

"Yeah. Just in case older people come in, I guess," Soos shrugged.

Finding a spot was a quick endeavor. There was a very thick crowd already gathering at the 'rock outcove' before the orchestra, and so they took the cue to stand just behind them putting them in easy sight distance from the stage, nor far enough to crane their necks. But their comfortable position was soon compromised. More and more people flooded in. Kids their age, young adults, and even middle-aged folk came cramming in. Soon Dipper was feeling the claustrophobia of being a sardine in a can. Somehow, a manly, bellowing cry emerged as a large woman and a thin, frail girl appeared and tackled Mabel.

"Isn't this the coolest!?" Mabel demanded as they stopped their hugging.

"Only the craziest even of the YEAR!" Grenda roared, "oh, oh I'm so pumped. I could just break something!"

"Grenda and I have been busy memorizing the lyrics to all their songs, so we don't get left behind," Candy told Mabel.

"Wait, they do sing-alongs?" Mabel asked, and quickly turned to Dipper, "dude, they do sing-alongs."

"They don't mind it when people sing with them," Soos answered loudly, proudly puffing his chest out as he exemplified his knowledge of the group. "Hey dudes," he waved to Grenda and Candy, who waved back.

"Wassup?" Grenda asked.

"Hi again Wendy," Candy waved to Wendy, who had been looking in their opposite direction the entire time. Slowly she turned, her eyes wide as she smiled.

"Hi. How are you?" she asked in very stiff tones.

"Pretty good. I ran into your dad the other day," Candy told her, "actually, I think he ran into me. Ran over me. I was on the floor after I woke up I think."

Wendy snorted and nodded to her. "That sounds like my dad," she grinned, "he say anything to you? About me?"

"He made some animal noises," Candy told her, adjusting her glasses, "sort of like a bear?"

"That would be a no," Wendy nodded, and turned away.

"Guys, this is so crazy exciting!" Mabel said, leaping into the air for a single jump, "the energy here is just infecting me! It's like the people here are just... awesomely radiating power!"

"They could use some _powerful_ deodorant," Dipper mentioned.

"Ahh, the musk of a crowd," Soos mentioned to them, "it's all part of the identity of these crowds. Sort of how like you can always tell when an alternative band has come by the amount of organic snack wrappers are on the ground."

The lights above began to dim, and the crowd got louder. People were shrieking and shouting out, calling out the name 'Duskhope' like a religious chant. Dipper and Mabel looked over next to them, and Soos began to join the chant, lost to the sway. It was so strange, so many people attentively awaiting the arrival of the members. Even Grenda and Candy quickly caught onto the chant, leaving the twins to watch in amusement.

New lights cast on the stage. Oranges rays, like the shine of the sun itself, cast down onto the stage and the orchestra piped up a loud, dramatic tune. It wasn't something mundane- it was classical and powerful. Dipper and Mabel listened, now advidly watching the stage and anticipation. It was like a port of nature itself. Then, from behind the stage, a stand was pushed out. The drummer, a heavily tanned man with spikey black hair waved to the crowd as he stood on the stand, holding aside his two drumsticks.

As he emerged with his entire large set, opposite to him, on the left side of the stage, a similar platform emerged, this time of a massive electronic keyboard. A pale man with goggles and short brown hair pumped his fist into the air. As those two were settled, two figures from either side stepped out, one holding an electronic guitar, and the other holding a bass guitar. Each of these members had a microphone on their uniform, which was a strange mix of leather jacket and barbarian like pelts. The electric guitar hold, who Dipper was sure he recognized with a large nose and pointed face, struck a tune, and the audience cheered.

Before another chord was strung, a choir, seemingly from nowhere and nothingness, sang up. As the voices rose up and began to chant a dim, low language, the keyboardist, drummer, and entire orchestra joined in. It was a dramatic build, the beat growing louder and louder.

"OH! OHH!" Soos roared with the crowd, "YES! GAIATALE!"

"What?" Dipper tried asking, entirely drowned out to all but his sister, who grabbed his shirt, "what, Mabel?" he demanded.

"This is soo intense," she told him.

"This is a really good one," Candy assured them.

The music hit a crescendo, and from behind the stage, in the trees, as the guitarist and bassist joined simultaneously, a figure leapt out, easily fifteen feet in the air and flipped out onto the stage. His landing was heralded by a blast of cheers. He held no instrument, wore a large hat which hid his face, and stood up, tossing the hat away. Blond hair fell to his shoulders, elegant and free-flowing. Calling him a pretty boy was no joke- he had a beautiful jaw line and just enough amount of cheeks to be seen as cheery. Quickly standing up in the same beat as landing, he extended his hand to the side. Without even looking, he caught a single microphone, which had dropped from the ceiling into his hands.

"Dang," Dipper gasped, already impressed with their opening. The man, rocking his head along with the heavy beat of his band, stepped closer and closer to the edge until he was as close as he could be to the edge, and then whipped the microphone to be before him.

Finally, Zander Maximillion, lead singer of the band Duskhope, sang.

_"How dark it was before,_

_Could you peer the veil,_

_Lost dreams, and hopes,_

_but wishes_

_When all of earthly light_

_Caressed your skin and marrow_

_Lift you high into a champions readied soul!"_

His voice wasn't deep- on the contrary, it was a higher pitched vibrato, resting peacefully between tenor and baritone. Yet his presence on stage almost... commanded Dipper. Any regards to his self-conscious were swept away as the man rocked along with the beat, singing his soul out.

_"The flame of passions fire_

_Light up with all the world_

_Contained of our own tempered wills_

_Rock and stone do last_

_Outpace all of time_

_Bones but break and yet we shall endure!"_

"Hubba-hubba," Grenda growled aloud as she watched the man perform, "talk about pretty boy!"

Mabel was awe-struck. The man wasn't pretty. He was gorgeous. Young, but older than her by probably a few years, this man had a chiseled and well-kept body, exposed by his opened jacket while he wore no shirt underneath. She was utterly entranced by his rhythmic bouncing to the beat. She couldn't even rock with the crowd, who all lifted their hands and punched the air with the rhythm.

So then the main chorus came, and the twins were blown away as the guitarist and bassist sang along with the leader vocalist.

_"We are the children of the stars and sun,_

_The youngest seekers of each horizon,_

_With our own hands we can be undone!_

_Our ancient mother fear does warn to try,_

_Change our future till our tears do dry,_

_Or page that written bodes not well,_

_Of our future we shall say farewell!"_

"Wow! These guys really do kick some serious-" Dipper started, but the cheers after the main chorus drowned out his compliment. He had turned to his sister, but found her awe-struck, motionlessly staring up at the main singer, who in his small break between the main chorus and the next bit, bumping knuckles with his other members.

_"We are the makers_

_The one destroyers_

_With power untold That will make you fear true_

_Darkness finds all the way,_

_But deceives until the time,_

_strengthen, still your mind,_

_Until courage root you stand!"  
_

_"Wind to fly and soar_

_Glide afar and more_

_Untouched to go_

_For freedom all is yours_

_Water seeks a path_

_Knowledge far from wrath_

_Unmolded makes you Know not break nor broke!"_

"You guys liking it so far!?" Soos demanded down, calling next to him over the rumble of the crowds.

"HECK YES!" Dipper cheered, entirely consumed by the energy of the band.

"This is much better than the internet vidoes," Candy admitted, barely heard over the loud crowds.

Mabel couldn't detect them; she was in another universe. Everything she saw was slowed down as she watched this man sing, his eyes closing and opening with various words as he sung with every fiber of his being. Then the main chorus returned, as the guitarist and bassist joined with Zander Maximillion.

_"We are the children of the stars and sun,_

_The youngest seekers of each horizon,_

_With our own hands we can be undone!_

_Our ancient mother fear does warn to try,_

_Change our future till our tears do dry,_

_Or page that written bodes not well,_

_Of our future we shall say farewell!"_

"He's amazing..." Mable mumbled.

"They're amazing!" Dipper clapped his sister's arm in agreement.

_"We are the children of the stars and sun,_

_The youngest seekers of each horizon,_

_Bind together we cannot be culled!"_

The half-measure ended, and the choir finally appeared, disguised behind the trees in the background. The song had reached a quieter moment, with the keyboardist hitting higher, softer notes than the previous section of the songs. Zander Maximillion raised his head from his notes and grinned.

"We've got something special for you guys," he grinned, pointing behind himself to a lowering screen, and projector somewhere above the crowds flickered on, "something just for you all here."

"Oh please just take your jacket off!" Grenda pleaded under her breath.

The crowd screamed in approval at his words. Mabel almost felt her body melt as his words. That voice, despite his screaming and impressive singing, was soft, warm, and entirely welcoming. It was like he emitted a verbal warm blanket, and Mabel felt herself swoop inside it entirely, wrapping herself in it effortlessly.

The choir and orchestra now joined forces with all but Zander, who stood at the end of the stage clapping pointedly, engaging the crowd to clap along with the beat. The projector began to play as the music played on. A film began to play. The film showed a crew of firemen, desperately climbing through a burning building, forcing their way through the embers and wreckage to save, as the film showed, a trapped family of four. The father was desperately trying his best to subdue the flames, but they grew around them. The music swelled as the firefighters arrived, getting the kids and mother out first, but the dad seemed trapped as a rooftop support beam fell between him and the last firefighter, trapping him in his room.

Yet the break for the singers was not over. The firefighter, despite warnings from his suit measurements and the calls for the father to go on without him, would not abandon him. He retrived his axe and chopped away at the column throwing embers into the air. The beat grew louder and louder as the father leapt over the gain distance, and climbed through. The video ended just as the two escaped the collapsing building and the music swelled to an explosion of grace.

_"We are the children of the stars and sun,_

_The youngest seekers of each horizon,_

_With our own hands we can be undone!_

_Our ancient mother fear does warn to try,_

_Change our future till our tears do dry,_

_Or page that written bodes not well,_

_Of our future we shall say farewell!"_

They sang again, now all five of the members giving their pieces. Yet they were not done. For one last time, they sang the power-fused song.

_"We are the children of the stars and sun,_

_The youngest seekers of each horizon,_

_With our own hands we can be undone!_

_Our ancient mother fear does warn to try,_

_Change our future till our tears do dry,_

_Or page that written bodes not well,_

_Of our future we shall say farewell!"_

Zander Maximillion was out of lyrics, but did not let that stop his singing. He joined the choir, singing that strange nonsense language that only music could make sense of until the song fused into one final blast of triumphant booms.

"YEEAAAH!" Dipper and Soos roared with the crowds, jumping into the air with such energy, Dipper finally understood what it was like to be Mabel when excited.

"Okay, I'll admit," Wendy said, her smile from ear to ear," that was crazy."

"Crazy doesn't come close! That was awesome!" Grenda shouted.

"I'm so excited, I can't tell if I'm deaf in one ear!" Candy told Grenda, who laughed and punched her jokingly in the arm, knocking her into Dipper. "Oh, thanks, Dipper."

"No problem! Mabel, Mabel!" Dipper called, grasping her shoulder, shaking her with a wide smile, brimming with energy. Yet shaking her, he saw only a limp girl who's hazed eyes stared ahead, following the paces of the lead singer, who was laughing and waving to the crowd. "Hey," Dipper tried again, this time catching his sister's attention, "you okay?"

Mabel didn't know how to respond. There was such a flutter in her stomach. It had been a strange dream watching the man perform and roar with that power that she had forgotten where she was for a time. With a quick look around, she suddenly realized where she was again and blinked a few times.

"Yeah!" she nodded with a small grin, "I'm good!"

"HELLO GRAVITY FALLS!" Zander Maximillion shouted over the microphone, prompting a huge reply from the crowds.

"HI HANDSOME!" Grenda roared back.

He leant back, pretending to resist the pure power of the crowd, and he smiled. "Wow. Talk about a warm welcome."

Someone shouted from the crowd, and Zander laughed, covering his face. A woman had just given him a rather personal, scandalous, suggestive offer. He walked away, laughing as he held his face in his hand. The keyboardist laughed as the guitarist rolled his eyes and groaned.

"I think I ran into that one, didn't I?" he returned to the edge as he shook his head, "I meant luke-warm, not burning hot." he told her and the crowd cheered loudly. "But speaking of welcomes, we have one to do," he told the crowd in a more authoritative voice, yet not loosing that charming, warm smile he had worn most of the performance, "so, as you glorious followers of Duskhope know, we said goodbye recently to our long time guitarist, Allen," he told them, waiting for anything other than a collective murmur of a response. When none came, he continued.

"Well, when we started this tour, we wanted to end it here, specifically in Gravity Falls. See," he started moving to the right, where the hat-wearing new guitarist stood, watching him, "Duskhope stole someone from your town. I'm talking about our new member, whom we have lovingly called 'Vee'."

"Wait... No way," Wendy gasped loudly, pushing herself higher, using Soos as a platform.

"Ow! Wendy, chill!" Soos demanded as she shoved herself higher.

"Who's 'Vee'?" Dipper asked to Soos.

"He's their newest guitarist. Pretty good. Supposedly, Zander has been teaching him for a while, and now he's stepping up to the plate. They never released his actual name though," Soos told them, a growing excitement in his eyes, "gosh, this is going to be soo cool."

"A few of you probably know this guy. Guitarist, sick dude, and local of the area," Zander turned to the crowd, and roared in his announcement, "WELCOME BACK ROBBIE VALENTINO!"

"WHAT!?" The twins and Soos gasped.

The crowd roared of approval as the guitarist removed the wide-brimmed hat, and revealed himself. Those zits had long gone, the overly-dark eyeliner missing, and his hair was thicker, but it was certainly the same man. He sheepishly raised his hand and waved at the crowd, bobbing his head in a mild nod to them all.

"He got into a band like this!?" Dipper gasped, turning to Soos and Wendy, "are you kidding me?! He wasn't that good!"

"It doesn't matter how good you are," Wendy told him, "if you're still the best out of a lot of losers, your still the best pick."

"YEAH! So, Gravity Falls, since we're now practically family," Zander stepped closer to the edge of the stage, and adopted a sincere face, "can we crash on your couch tonight?" he asked. He blinked and stepped back; the blast of approval from the females closest to him was nearly sonic.

"I hope that wasn't a joke," Candy begged, crossing her fingers.

"WOW! HA!" he laughed, "anyway, we have a show to get going. Hey Robbie?"

Robbie turned to him, looking at his band leader with wide, surprised eyes. Zander stared at him expectantly, his mouth open in a half-smile.

"You gonna answer, buddy?" Zander asked, laughing at Robbies hesitation.

"What?" Robbie asked, barely heard from the stage.

"Use the microphone, dummy," the bassist told him, speaking clearly into his own, which caused a loud roar of laughter. The guitarist glared at him, blushing and looking to Zander, who had laughed slightly with the crowds.

"What dude?" Robbie Valentino asked.

"You know, this is your first time in a few years coming home, isn't it?" Zander asked him, to which Robbie shrugged. "So, I was thinking you'd get to pick the next song."

"Oh. Cool," Robbie nodded and gave him some thought. People were calling out to him, demanding various different names. Yet he grinned and said to Zander, "I think we do a wicked 'Bright Case of Wishes'." Just by saying this, the crowd received a huge jolt of energy, and more people shouted and screamed.

"You heard it all!" Zander turned, and the choir and orchestra began to play again, and Zander screamed, "BRIIIIGHT CASE OF WIIISHEESS!"

What followed for nearly an hour and a half was song after song of epic purportions. Dipper felt like this was straight out of a movie, and he bounced the energy back and forth with Soos. To his amazement between the songs, ranging from "I Wish I Had Angel-Wings", a fast beat with a crazy drum solo, to the "First Charge of The Battle" entirely fit to a huge cavalry charge, the two ladies with them seemed... muted.

Between the songs, Mabel would 'unlock' and speak to Dipper, agreeing with him on the awesomeness of the band and the song they just did. Even when he got a little too analytical and began to explain the significance of their songs, ranging from referencing historical events to myths and legends, she seemed only capable of nodding and mildly replying. She was in a strange trance, and Dipper worried for her. Maybe crowds like this got to her somehow.

Wendy, since Robbie's appearance, had almost gone stoic. She barely moved, and whenever she did, it was because someone bumped into her while they jumped up and down into the air along with the beat of the song. Her eyes no longer were glued to the performance, but instead looked around occasionally, scanning the horizon of moving bodies around her. Dipper constantly wondered what she was looking for between the breaks of songs.

After what Dipper was certain had been three songs, but Soos assured him was one massive song called 'Spirit Heart Song'; the last song ended. That last piece, which seemed to force the entirety of the performance to go at its best, with the band members sweating a storm, the orchestra feverishly playing their best, and the choir keeping in pace with Zander, who was the only one not sweating a torrential downpour, was easily the most impressive of the ten songs they had done. Zander gave one final roar to the crowds as the music ended, and the crowds screamed and shouted.

"Aww, YEAH!" Zander pumped his fists into the air, showing off his chiseled body. "That's it guys! That's it... for today," he added with a sinister look around the crowd, fighting to suppress a smile as the crowds roared at him. Finally he laughed again, and hopped around, while talking into the microphone, "that's right, we have one more special performance tomorrow! If you bought your tickets today, you can come again! AWESOME, HUH!?"

The audience certainly thought so. Dipper and Soos gasped and cheered loudly, but they were drowned out and shocked when Mabel shoved her hands into the air and bellowed "YYEESS!" To her shock, Zander looked straight at her and grinned.

"I love the enthusiasm!" he shouted at her across the crowds. Mabel, thankfully in the shadows, was able to hide her furiously blushing cheeks. Zander continued, "but speaking of tickets..." the crowd began to grown louder yet again, possibly aware of what he was about to say, "ohhh, you know what's coming," Zander nodded as he looked around, "we have a little special present to a lucky ticket holder. BUT! But," he added dramatically, holding his hand to the sky, "we're not doing just one today, but two. Two people get a chance to hang out with us after the show!"

"CANDY! THIS IS OUR CHANCE!" Grenda called to her, and Candy nodded feverishly.

"OH SWEET!" Soos roared, and pulled out his ticket. He wasn't the only one. Suddenly those who Dipper would have deemed the 'most hardcore of fans' were quickly scrambling for their tickets, desperate to pull out their own. Dipper followed suit, and as he turned to remind Mabel to do so, he found her already scanning her ticket.

"Okay, so here's the two numbers we'll be looking for," Zander grinned, and looked around the crowd, letting the anticipation build. Not only was he clearly a good singer, Dipper realized, but he worked a crowd perfectly. "First, two-five-six-five-four," he called.

One number at a time, Dipper felt like he had just been struck by lightning. Each number got closer and closer to the winning combination. Then, with a slow realization as he scanned the numbers again, he blinked and gaped. Those numbers were right on his card, staring up at him. He... he had the lucky ticket? Before he could respond, he heard Zander call out again.

"And the second is two-five-six-five-five," he said aloud, looking around.

If Dipper had any qualms about making noise, his sister didn't. She let out a blood thirsty, earth trembling, ear splitting boom of a cry that had Dipper cringe and look to her. Mabel had, oh so clearly, also won. Their tickets were only one number off.

"Wow, that was quick," Zander laughed, watching the twins dance up and down excitedly, "so you guys," he pointed to them directly, his sparkling green eyes catching their attention, "feel free at the end of the show to come around to the backstage. Just show off those tickets and the guards'll let you in. And for the rest of you, remember: _there will always be another day_!" he declared proudly, and added as the choir fell slid away into the stage again and the band members started to recede away, "THANK YOU ALL!"

"Dudes!" Soos turned and scooped up both twins in one huge grasp as the crowds applauded as the final member left the stage, "you guys get the most impossibly crazy cool privilege since shaking hands with a president!"

"Gah! Soos!" Dipper coughed and gasped for air while seeing the crowd from nearly a birds eye view. "Down!"

"You two are the luckiest duo in eternity," Candy said with a sad, but content grin.

"Ah, man, I wish I was as lucky as you two," Soos admitted, "you two are going to meet the greatest rock band since... the last greatest rock band!"

"I thought they were metal?" Wendy asked, coming around to face the twins. She quickly noticed Mabel, who's mouth still hung open as she and Dipper were placed down. "Mabel," Wendy started, "you good?"

"Just, uh... yeah," Mabel nodded in a daze.

"Ha, okay," Wendy shook her head as she grinned, "well Soos, I think we're on our own getting home now," Wendy admitted.

"Huh?" Dipper looked to her, blinking in his confusion, "but I can still drive everyone back."

"Nah man," Wendy waved her hand to the twins, "we wouldn't want to distract you guys from your chance to chill with 'the amazing Duskhope', would we?" she asked to Soos, who gasped and nodded.

"You are _soo_ right!" Soos looked to the twins, "this is a privilege that you two totally need to take! I guess we can walk to our homes," Soos shrugged.

"Aww, it wouldn't take-" Dipper stated, but Wendy had already started pushing Soos away, almost forcibly.

"No way dude," Wendy said as she passed, and winked to her confused friend, "you two have fun!"

"Just remember to take as many pictures of his chest as you can!" Grenda called as Candy and her followed the two out.

Dipper merely watched as Wendy, Soos, and Mabel's friends melded into the crowds, still slowly dissipating, and he pondered again. Wendy wasn't someone who shied from crowds, but she had been out of her element here. Then again, Robbie had been here the entire time, on stage, being called to by various women and men like a hero. Maybe that put her down.

"Well," Dipper sighed, the crowds now sparse enough to walk without having to squeeze past groups of people, "I guess we should go claim our reward."

"W-what?!" Mabel gasped, and spun to him, her cheeks red. Dipper laughed, and she blinked, "wait, what did you say?"

"Claim our reward?" he re-told her. Mabel sighed, her brown hair falling in bangs past her face. "What is up Mabel?" Dipper demanded, his smile containing mild worry for his sister, "you didn't get sick here, did you?" he asked her worriedly, but she rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I was, just, uh, taking a little off-guard by what's-his-face," Mabel said, dangling an arm to the stage dismissively.

"Robbie?" Dipper nodded, "yeah. That's still kind of weird. Jerk like him getting to be with such a cool band-"

"I didn't mean Robbie," Mabel cut him off, a mild flush in her cheeks.

"Then who?" He asked. Dipper gave her the moment to reply, yet she said nothing. "Ooookay... let's get going?"

"Yeah, let's," Mabel nodded, still in her strange daze.

Parting their way through the crowd by going directly to the far wall and nearly hugging it to the stage, the twins found themselves beset by a pair of large, muscular guards. There was only a brief, frightening moment as they stared down to the twins, but let the pass as the lifted up their tickets with wiry smiles. With a single worried glance between each other, they stepped onto the stage, and peered around the curtains.

"Wow, look at all of this stuff," Dipper gasped as they passed around the fabric. Tons of lighting equipment, speakers, extra microphones, and even wracks of clothing matching that of those worn by the band members cluttered the backstage. People were still patrolling around, speaking into headsets as they moved around props and materials without a glance to Dipper and Mabel.

"This is cool," Mabel admitted, letting a frantic looking woman pass by her and Dipper, holding a thin black scarf, "like a human-sized ant nest, but with coffee instead of little grubs!"

"What do you think they need all these speakers for?" Dipper asked, looking to the large pieces of equipment that easily matched him in size.

"Extras?" Mabel suggested simply.

"I guess so. I didn't think this would be like a Broadway show or movie set back here," he admitted, "they sure know how to hide the secrets of the business back here."

"Well, it is show business," Mabel reminded him, "they probably have tons of secrets. Like what level of lighting to use to make them as gorgeous as they were," she added, closing her eyes as she day-dreamed back to the lead singer.

"That's Robbie your talking about," Dipper shook his head as poked a large panel of buttons and knobs.

"I'm not talking about Robbie!" Mabel declared, but then gave him a trying look, "and even if I was, I don't see what the problem would be. We like Robbie."

"_You_ like Robbie," Dipper glanced to her with a scowl, "I do not."

"What? Why?"

"Cus he's a self-entitled, self-absorbed, selfish jerk," he told her easily, and turned to the rack of clothing as someone quietly approached the other side.

"This is about him liking Wendy once, isn't it?" Mabel asked, peering suspiciously at him, and he spun angrily, "it is."

"He was rude to her, and I remember that. What makes you think he's changed at all since then?" Dipper demanded, "probably only is tolerated by the band because he looks the type."

"Dipper-"

"What kind of band needs twenty copies of the same jacket?" Dipper pointedly asked. "I mean, is this normal for a band?"

"Maybe they're actually werewolves too," Mabel said, approaching the wrack, feeling one of the jackets, "and each time they transform they use of their performing sets, so it gives them an excuse to get more?" she tried, her brother eyeing her with concern the entire time. "What? It could happen."

"I've heard of crazier theories about the band before," someone said on the other side of the clothes. The two paused as a staff member came from the side and pushed away the rack, only to reveal the speaker, Zander Maximillion. He stood there, hands in his jeans pockets as he looked to the two of them. "And personally, I think were-lizard would be cooler. Think about all those scales and spikes that would appear on your back. You'd look like godzilla and stuff!"

Dipper and Mabel stared up to the man. He was much taller than they had imagined. Clearly six feet by a few inches, the man had broad shoulders for his size and a beautiful gaze as he grinned at them, clearly pleased with their gaping reaction to his appearance. He started chuckling and took two steps closer, and held out his hand.

"I'm Zander," he told Dipper.

"D-Dipper Pines," he managed to mumble as he took the hands belonging to this god figure of music.

"Good to meet you," Zander grinned and turned his hand to Mabel. She simply continued to stand, staring up at him with wide, lost eyes. "You okay?" he asked after a moment. Mabel let out the smallest shriek, as if she had been a mouse whose tail had been trodded on.

"Mabel!" she declared, "I'm Mabel!"

"Nice," he winked to her, almost causing Mabel to go dizzy. "Siblings?" he asked, and got a nod from the two, "cool! Twins?" Another nod from Dipper, as Mabel had reverted to staring, and Dipper nudged her shoulder.

"Yeah! We're twins! Like crazy almost identical except that we're not the same gender! Ha-ha!" Mabel stumbled through her words as she looked up to the younger man, who grinned and nodded.

"Double cool. Well, nice you guys could join us on the stage. The guys are still in the trailer, but we can go check them out if you'd like?" he stated.

"We can just stay here!" Mabel begged suddenly, getting the scornful glare from his brother and a confused glance from Zander. "I mean... sure, we can go meet... other people..."

"Well okay!" Zander nodded, "follow me."

"Mister Maximillion," Dipper started as he and his sister continued after the man as he turned away and marched off the stage, "we just wanted to let you know how much of a crazy experience that was!"

"Ugh, don't call me mister, man," Zander turned as he walked, now side stepping away, "it makes me feel really old."

"Oh- but what-"

"Just Zander," the rock-star told him and his sister with that trademark grin.

"Well, okay. I also wanted to ask; what was the deal with Gaiatale?" Dipper asked, giving pause to Zander, who turned and watched him. Dipper suddenly felt flushed- that had been a very blunt remark. "I-I MEAN, ahem, what I wanted to really ask is what it was about?"

"It's a story about us," Zander told him firmly, and Dipper's neck felt cold sweat. That was, at least until Zander broke into his wide smile and laughed. "Oh man, you guys are way, waaay to scared of me!" he told them, and walked over, wrapping a hand around them as he bent down slightly, "look, I'm just another dude. I just so happen to make money making music. So, we're not that different, are we?"

"You happen to make a lot, lot, looot of money," Mabel remarked, and then she noticed that same dark scarf dangling from his neck, "and nice... scarf," she muttered. He blinked, and looked down.

"Oh! Thanks! I made it ages ago," he told her with a grin, "nice and almost-glittery, isn't it?" he asked, "dudes need ways to accessorize that are clearly masculine, and scarves are the perfect way to do that. Oh- and hats like that, man," Zander approved of Dipper's beanie, who grinned widely.

"Thanks!"

"Anyway," Zander started walking backwards, avoiding and deftly evading working staff as he retreated, never once turning around to see if they were there, "Gaiatale is really about human-kind. Duskhope doesn't really like just making music- we want a story."

"So the story is about a warning?" Mabel interjected, causing Zander to laugh and nod.

"Exactly! We're losing out connection with what we really are. The elements that make us up, that put humans on the map, and these days people are more interested in here and now than the past and future," Zander said sadly, shaking his head as he finally turned and pushed out the door that lead outside into the sun.

"That explains all the stuff about fire and water," Dipper nodded, "and you just, uh, were inspired by... what?"

"Inspired?" Zander turned from them as he stepped into the sun. The man squinted and looked into the sky, giving his response a moment to collect, "I guess a dream."

"It's pretty cool," Mabel told him, "you know, using elements like that."

"Pfft. Not as cool as the person who was here a few weeks ago who could shoot fire from her hands!" Zander told them excitedly, "I mean, are you kidding me!? I always kind of figured magic like that may exist, but for an internet video to go viral like that? And a giant spider?!"

"You saw that?" Dipper asked.

"Saw it!? It's the reason Duskhope is here!" he proclaimed as he turned and marched over to the trailer. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look of surprise and followed.

"You think he knows about the paths, Mabel?" Dipper asked his sister with hushed tones as she stared at his back. The man was leading around a series of large eighteen wheeler trucks and other various vehicles towards a well decorated and expertly painted living RV with the words 'Duskhope' along the side.

"Only a few people in the world should know about that sort of thing," Mabel stated, "and it wasn't like his song really said anything specific. It was mostly just references to nature and the elements themselves. It wasn't like he knew about the training process or something."

"Here we are," Zander stated proudly, pushing the door to the trailer open, "the rest of the gang."

Zander stepped in first, beckoning the other two to follow inside. As he climbed the stairs leading up into the large and clearly luxury vehicle, the two gasped. Inside was akin to what Dipper assumed would be heavy. Rows of soda fountains were prevailed by many clean cups and two sinks on either side of the vehicle. By the corners of the roof, panels of TV's flashed and blinked with various intent. By couches opposite to the televisions, two men sat, grasping controllers and desperately mashing buttons.

"Welcome to the cove of solace," Zander said to the twins as they finally stepped inside. As he said it, one of the two on the couch swore loudly, and dropped the controller, "well, okay, almost solace," Zander corrected himself.

"Hey dude," the loser of whatever game he had been played said, "oh, the winners for this tour?" he asked, looking to the twins. Dark tan skin and thick naturally spiky hair told the twins that this was the drummer. He got up, and extended a hand across the line of sight of his opponent. "I'm Marcus," the drummer announced with a smile, shaking their hands.

"Dipper."

"I'm Mabel."

"Hey dudes," the winner of the game stated, turning to them as he placed the controller down with pride, "I'm Bishop." The twins shook hands with him as well. Standing across from the twins and the two sitting was the keyboardist, his goggles hanging around his neck.

"Sup. I'm Kane," he told them, winking to the two of them.

"And now we're just waiting and dweeb to get out from washing his face," Marcus told Zander as he leaned back into the couch. Zander sighed and nodded.

"Dweeb?" Dipper asked, looking around. One of three present doors at the back of the single hallway opened, and out stepped a dark haired, tired looking man with a large nose and dark eyes. "Oh. I see what you mean."

"Robbie!" Zander called, catching the attention of the guitarist, "say hi to the winners." Robbie looked down and his eyes grew wide. Should there had been a polar opposite to Pacifica's initial reaction to seeing the twins again, Robbie Valentino's would have been that opposite, he squeezed around Kane, and cleared his throat.

"Sup, twins," Robbie nodded. Zander grunted and nodded to Robbie, who sighed and extended his hand.

"Hi Robbie!" Mabel gasp and pulled the un-expecting man into a bear-hug with her.

"Ow! Hey!"

"It's been three years!" Mabel told him, lowering him back down to the ground as his fellow band-mates chuckled at him. "How have you been?! I can't believe you got into such a cool position here!" Mabel told him, "It must be so cool! You're finally making music you're proud of!"

The band members laughed at her comment, and Robbies face went dark red, glaring to the others.

"She really does know you!" Marcus roared as he leaned into the couch, slipping partially to the floor.

"That's perfect!" Bishop added.

"Did I say something funny?" Mabel asked to Zander, who chuckled.

"Robbie's still fresh with us. The guys like teasing him, but it's all good," he explained as Robbie scowled angrily.

"Oh, yeah sure, all good," Robbie retorted, and returned the laughs behind him with a large and very rude hand gesture. The three men all gasped and 'ooooh'd' at him, but continued their snickering, unperturbed by his actions. Robbie looked back, and found Dipper looked up at him. "You got taller."

"So did you," Dipper commented, his mouth refusing to open all the way.

"What are you even doing back in Gravity Falls?" Robbie demanded, "you two don't live here."

"We're back for another summer!" Mabel declared, "for the romance of adventure, and the adventure of romance!"

Robbie groaned and looked to his boss. "Great. So, not trying to smack down these kids or whatever, but these two kind of cause trouble, so we should make this tour or whatever quick."

"What!?" Mabel and Dipper gasped. Zander laughed and walked around the twins, putting a hand around Robbie's shoulder.

"Hahaha, one second you two," Zander said, pulling Robbie away. As the two walked to the end of the bus, the three stared quietly at them shaking their heads.

"Idiot needs to figure that out," Bishop mumbled as looked to the twins, "sorry guys, I doubt he really meant it like that."

"What do you mean?" Mabel asked him.

"Robbie's really fresh. It can take a while for people to get used to fame and stuff like that. He's just, you know, trying to settle in. He doesn't get the whole 'P-R' aspect quite yet," Bishop explained, walking around to the other end of the couch, sitting down on the hand rest. "Sounds like you guys have some past with him though?"

"You could say that," Dipper said bitterly.

"That sounds like a story we need to hear," Marcus grinned as he and Kane began a game on the television together, the keyboardist taking the spot on the couch Bishop gave up.

"It's nothing really exciting," Mabel admitted, "except the one time Dipper summoned a video game character to chase him around town to beat him up," Mabel added. The game on the screen paused, and the three men slowly turned their heads around to look at Mabel.

"What she means is I whopped his butt at Fight Fighters," Dipper interjected, and the three laughed and nodded.

"Good game," Bishop added.

From the other end of the bus, the two talking quietly turned around. Robbie seemed grumpy and upset, but Zander had rolled his eyes and walked back towards them.

"So, I was thinking- dudes, turn that off for a second," Zander demanded of his co-band mates, who sighed and unwillingly complied with his request, "thanks. Okay, so Dipper and Mabel seem like they may know the scoop around here."

"Huh?" Dipper and Mabel grunted at the same time, aware that all eyes were on them.

"So, I was thinking; next album needs a new outlook. Supposedly this area has something crazy going on. Robbie says these two know what's up, so... why don't we let them show us?" Zander suggested, a wide smile on his face.

"What, you mean giant, man-eating spiders?" Kane asked worriedly.

"Or women who can punch with fire?" Marcus also asked.

"Or mammoths?" Bishop piped in.

"Mina wasn't a mammoth," Mabel corrected him with a wiggle of her finger, "she was a mastodon." The band member opened his mouth to reply, but closed it, and gave thought for a few moments before shrugging.

"C'mon guys," Zander said, a plea in his voice, "we've been making music about myths and legends all our careers," he told them, and then slapping a hand on Robbies back, "and Robbie says these two really know what's up around here. If we're with them, we won't really be in danger."

"W-whoa a second there," Dipper gasped and looked around as he and Mabel chortled from the praise, "I mean... sure, we kind of deal with the weird around town, but that doesn't mean we can just make it safe," he explained.

"Really? Tell that to Rumble for me," Robbie crossed his arms together and glared at Dipper, who mirrored action.

"This could be our chance to blow our current album clean out of the water! Just imagine; we're out here, discovering the strange and unusual, and we get to make songs about it all! It would be totally original and probably as epic as this last one!" Zander declared. His fellow band mates seemed less encouraged, still worried about the reports of strangeness around town. Zander looked to the twins, and his eyes met Mabel.

Her mind begged her to be silent. Mabel knew that it was true- those woods were dangerous no matter who walked through them. Heck: even with Arline in tow they had still been attacked by a werewolf. Yet she couldn't disappoint those eyes, no matter how hard her mind desperately pleaded her to be silent. She laughed with a false confidence, and slapped her brother's shoulder.

"Ha! Of course we got this!" Mabel told Zander, which caused his small frown to grow into a fully-fledged beaming smile. Dipper turned and stared at her, his eyes wide with concern. Robbie shook his head gently, his eyes closed. "You can count on us guys," Mabel nodded firmly as she grinned.

"Well, if you think so," Bishop shrugged, "I'm in."

"Awesome!" Zander proclaimed excitedly, "when can we go?"

"What?" Mabel asked him. His expectant stares again pierced any protection from denying him. Those green eyes would not be let down by Mabel. She sighed and nodded, "well, we can take you over to the Mystery Manor first, and then take you on a tour of the woods?"

"You promise?" Zander asked, that grin even wide now as he radiated excitement.

"Yeah... I promise," Mabel chuckled as she felt the heat from Dipper's glare burn off pieces of her skin.

"Absolutely yes!" Zander cheered, and in one fell swoop slapped all the knees of those sitting on the couch, "get into your hiking kicks dudes! We got mystery and adventure to accomplish!" The others groaned as he laughed as he leapt past Robbie, who glared at Dipper still.

"Yeah, just don't sic any of them on us, cool kid?" Robbie added warningly to Dipper who snorted.

"Just don't try hypnotizing them to do whatever you want, right Robbie?" Dipper added, and Robbie went scarlet in the face.

"Why you-"

"And we're going! We'll be waiting for you guys at the Mystery Manor! See you guys soon!" Mabel told them as he grasped Dipper by the arm and pulled him down the steps to the outside. As he landed with her on the grass outside, he swore under his breath and turned to face Mabel, who was marching quietly away, her hands in her pockets.

"Mabel, what the heck?!" Dipper demanded, "last time we did that, we both nearly died!"

"Yeah, but we were dumb last time," Mabel tried explaining, "and these guys are... fit? They can handle themselves against a werewolf... I think."

"We've trained in martial arts for a month and a half, Mabel," Dipper told her with fear, "and you think these guys, these people who are just musicians, can handle themselves?" he demanded of her, a worry so prominent, he turned his head back to the shack to make sure they couldn't be overheard. "Like, I don't think they should be coming with us."

"Dipper... I made a promise," she told him, "I don't want to go back on that."

"But this could be life or death-"

"I won't be," she assured him.

"How can you be so sure?!" Dipper demanded angrily.

Mabel looked away, tension and cold sweat forming in her neck. She sighed and started walking with him in tow, shaking his head. She didn't have anything to truly re-assure him on the matter. Mabel desperately wanted to explain that drive to impress the man she couldn't pry her eyes away from when he smiled and laughed. There was just a deep power behind that gaze she needed to re-assure and provide for. Her mind came to the conclusion she feared, let alone dared never to say.

This would be her largest crush she had ever had on another person.

* * *

Whoops. So, heading out with family and friends for a weekend to where internet is questionable was a poor choice in regards to proper scheduling. Heh. Sorry. XD

But at least it's here now! Right? Hahah? Yeah. Right.

Duskhope! They're here. And that means a few things to those who have been on this ride since the beginning. I'm going to hint to those who haven't been paying as much attention- Episode 8, season 1. A certain circle has reference here. ;)

And Mabel: poor poor Mabel unable to say no Zander. At least she'll think twice before teasing Dipper about his inabilities to not disappoint Wendy and the likes. What goes around comes around though...

Next week we get to see a REALLY long part two- this will probably be about TWICE as long as this one- longest yet. Duskhope and the twins have a nice stroll through the woods and find stuff. What? Who? 'How can be'? Find out next week- on Time next time!

Seeya- (A giant ape made of clocks takes out a warhammer made of watches and swings at EZB like he was a golf ball. EZB goes flying through his window and vanishes into the sunset.)


	32. Duskhope: Part 2

"And then they were like- 'nice to meet you, I'm part of Duskhope', and we were like," Mabel swooned and held the back of her hand to her forehead, "and they were like 'we'd love to chill with you two', and we were like-"

"Mabel, sweety, I think I've memorized this by now. You think they're cool, they tolerated you, and now they want a tour of the town. Go try telling this to Soos," Stan suggested as he passed through the shop, a small checklist in his hand as he scanned the merchandise.

"But he wanted _me_ to give the tour! ME!" Mabel gasped as she felt her life soaring out of control, and turning away from her grand uncle towards the others. Dipper was leaning against the counter with Wendy, who, along with Soos, had all heard the tale at least three times themselves. Candy and Grenda were also present, having been called by Mabel a few minutes earlier, and the two rushed to the shop. They spoke to Soos, who joined them in recalling the bands various feats and histories.

"You really think it's true that they will give a shortened version of whatever song you ask them to sing?" Soos asked the two excitedly.

"What would we ask them?" Candy furthered.

"Anything! Everything!" Grenda told them, "just get their angelic voices out and into the air so we can melt and die happy!"

"Mabel, I know you and your friends should be excited," Wendy said to her as she walked to Dipper, who was watching Soos and the two talk, "but they are still people."

"No way! These are walking gods on the earth!" Grenda had heard and discounted her opinion.

"To give them credit," Dipper played neutral in the discussion, "they are really good. I don't know if they're gods- they certainly didn't seem to have anything weird in their RV that would label them as paranormal."

"Hey, you never know dude," Wendy told him with a shrug.

"Well, we met a cherub once, and he didn't seem that different," Mabel pointed out to Dipper, "and he had plenty of crazy-abilities. What if they're all actually sirens, who just like playing music for attention?"

"Sirens need water," Dipper pointed out.

"Um... harpies? Oh, wait, no, we know harpies, and none of them looked like they were harpies," Mabel countered herself.

"You know, maybe, just maybe for once, you two met someone with some sort of strength that didn't come from a supernatural force or some strange science," Wendy suggested, "you know, almost normal people?"

"I'm pretty sure they're normal compared to what we deal with," Dipper added with a chuckle. Wendy joined him and shook her head. Yuki stepped into the shop quietly, passing by the group. He was covered in oil and various other cleaning fluids. His hat was removed, and he scratched and pulled at his scalp as he stepped to Stan.

"The second adjustment to your oven has been completed. It should maximize cost-efficiency for the time being, as you asked," Yuki told him, and waved to the twins, "hello my friends."

"Hi Yuki!" Mabel called.

"Great. You're going to do that to the microwave next, right?" Stan asked without turning to see him. The alien sighed and shrugged.

"I suppose I shall," Yuki nodded, and the noticed there were two new figures. "Ah... uh, Dipper," Yuki started side-stepping away from sight of Grenda and Candy, who still invested talk with Soos to figure out a game plan for Duskhope when they arrived.

"Yeah? What is it?" Dipper inquired, uncertain why Yuki's movement became so stiff suddenly.

"There are two figures I know not of within the vicinity," Yuki told the twins as he made it next to the counter, and pressed himself against it, trying to minimize his appearance, "they could see my cranial extensions- Dipper, let me use my hat until they leave?" Yuki asked, pressing his dirty hands into his hair, trying to hide away his plant-like parts.

"That's just Grenda and Candy," Dipper told him with a shrug, "they're on the loop of things around here with us. They even helped up defeat a candy monster once," Dipper reminisced.

"Besides," Mabel patted the shoulder of the poor alien, "they're more interested in trying to figure out how they can get as much physical evidence off of the band without appearing creepy."

"I know I heard them considering pulling off loose hairs from their shoulders," Wendy added with a worried look, "and I think Soos loved the idea."

"So... my secret is not in danger?" Yuki asked to the twins, who both shrugged. "Ah... well... I will return to my duties."

"Aw, but Pacifica might show up," Mabel told him as he turned.

"Huh?" Dipper and the entirety of similar aged folk in the room turned to Mabel, who looked around.

"What? I thought she'd like meeting someone who might be able to actually talk about money stuff with her. That way we'd have friends who are friends with each other!" she explained.

"Ha! She'd probably just ask if she could buy of them for an evening or something," Grenda suggested.

"Could we do that?" Candy asked.

"I doubt it. Not unless we suddenly got richer," Soos pointed out to the two of them. "Or... we donated a lot of blood, skin, or hair to science and get some quick cash?"

"Then we'd have to miss meeting them," Grenda also stated.

"Well, either way," Mabel turned back to Yuki, "her servant never answered the phone, so I don't know what's going on. Maybe they're busy again."

"She made it quite clear during the carnival that it would be rare for her to acquire time on her own. I would not expect her to show, Mabel," Yuki told her.

"Ah phooey," Mabel sighed.

"Phooey indeed," Yuki nodded solemnly, and retreated away, leaving the faint scents of motor oil, cleaning fluid, and possibly charred remains of food in the air.

"When are they supposed to be here again?" Grenda called to Mabel and Dipper.

"Soon," Dipper told them as the three by the counter turned to look at the other group by the door, "but their RV is huge, so we'll hear them coming long before they have a chance to get out of their ride, so don't worry about missing them."

The door of the gift shop opened, and an attractive and well groomed blond man with green eyes poked himself inside. "Hi," he called to Grunkle Stan, the closest to the door, "mystery Manor, right?"

"Yeah. First tip is free, the rest are a dollar each," Grunkle Stan told him, "so choose your next questions carefully. Or just keep asking me dumb questions- either way you'll end up paying me."

"Oh, thanks!" the man stated as he spotted Dipper and Mabel standing aghast as they saw Zander Maximillion pass through the door, "I found who I was looking for."

"Zander?!" Mabel gasped.

The three by the corner froze and all slowly turned, like statues possessed to turn to the source of commotion as their gaze fell upon their idol of worship come to flesh and animate. Zander approached the counter and quickly patted the shoulders of both twins as he approached.

"Oh, looky at this," he said as he lifted a small snowglobe of Graivty Falls, and then the Mystery Manor, and began to compare them, "these are cool. How much are these?" he asked to Wendy.

"Two grand a piece!" Stan told him, suddenly realizing that the man in his shop was walking with high wealth.

"They're thirty dollars each," Wendy glared at her employer.

"Hm. I'll have to get one later for some friends," Zander told her as he lowered both back to the shelf before him, "you know, for holidays and stuff."

"Their price doubles each month you wait! You know, since they're limited edition!" Stan added, shoving Wendy over as he ran behind the counter, and tried hiding his desperation with a coy smile, "c'mon, I bet some lovely lady or whatever would love to have ten of these as a present."

"They probably would," Zander told him with his trademark boyish grin, "but I'm not dating now, so I'll pass on it till later," he admitted, "I'm just here for these two."

As Zander rounded on the twins, three high-pitched screams shook the foundations of the building. Grenda, Candy, and Soos all charged at the taller man and tackled him to the floor, pinning him harshly down onto the wooden planks. Dipper yelped as Mabel pulled out of from the stampede just in time. The door at the front burst open as the one of the other members, they dark skinned keyboardist Bishop.

"Hey!" Bishop called as he pulled away Soos and the two girls, "calm yourselves ladies and... dude," he added as he looked up and down Soos, who was just slightly taller than him.

"OH-"

"MY-"

"GOD!"

The three then turned onto Bishop, who was knocked out the door as they pummeled him off the outdoor porch and into the dirt. Wendy groaned and put a hand to her face, but the twins followed with haste.

"Yeah, remind the band they can't sue if we didn't do it!" Stan told them as they two ran outside, followed by Zander.

"We've got three ferals!" Bishop called as he struggled to stand from the three writhing, excited figures pinned him to the ground. With a quick reply, the other three members ran over and pulled away those assaulting Bishop. This in turn only caused Grenda to turn onto Marcus, Candy onto Kane, and Soos turned and found Robbie.

"Oh, hey dude," Soos nodded as he extended a handshake. Robbie made the mistake of slowly offering him the same gesture, only to be pulled into a bone-crushing hug, similar to what Grenda was giving to Marcus.

"She's like a gorilla!" Marucs coughed as he felt the life being squeezed from him. "Let up, please!"

"Guys!" Dipper called out, trying to pry off Grenda. "Let go of them!"

"It'll take more than that!" Grenda growled to Dipper as she clutched on.

Mabel was about to call aloud, but a loud bang around them stunned the air. All eyes turned to a woman standing in the shadows, a trail of smoke passing around from her fingers. At her feet, a small oink called to Mabel. Waddles had brought the local enforcer; Arline.

"Okay you three, relax," she told them as she dusted her hands of remaining ashes from whatever loud fire-ability she had just used, and eyed them carefully, "they're just people. People, who I'm sure, really like personal space sometimes."

"You could say that," Marcus admitted as he wriggled himself out of Grenda.

"Good job Waddles," Mabel told the pig as he walked over to her, squealing happily with his contribution to establishing peace. Mabel looked up and addressed her friends, "maybe you guys should give them something to sign and then we can go?"

"I like that plan," Arline answered for them, "after all, they got as humanly close as they could."

"Thank you," Zander turned to Arline and grinned. The golden haired woman blinked and stared at him, confusion and surprise in her eyes. "Uh, are you okay ma'am?" Zander asked her, and she shook herself with a small start.

"You sound very familiar," she told him.

"Well, my voice is on the radio," Zander laughed as he then sighed Grenda's shoes and Candy's spare glasses. He looked to the three pleasingly, "thanks for the support and love you three!" Soos nearly fainted, and fell onto Grenda's shoulders, who then also almost fainted, and then, with Soos, almost fell to Candy. While she did not nearly faint, she struggled to keep up her friend and Soos, her knees buckling dangerously as she wobbled back and forth.

"You're that woman who can throw fire?" Robbie asked, and Arline sighed and stared at him. It was not something she had, thus far, enjoyed being addressed as. "Thanks again for the help," Robbie added pointedly to the woman, who smiled and nodded.

"No problem. I hear Mabel and Dipper plan on taking you five on a little hike?" she asked, slowly turning to look at Mabel. There was a warning in that look to Mabel, who gulped.

"Yup," Zander answered, "going to see if what they say about these woods is true."

"It is. Trust me," Arline told them, all pretenses of pleasantries gone. "There are monsters and madmen in those woods; sometimes they're the same thing," she warned them. "Maybe you guys should stick to the Mystery Manor instead. Aside from a... rude welcome, it's cute and safe," she told them, looked to the twins again. "I'll be in my room if you two need me."

"O-okay?" Dipper added. Arline turned and started walking away, only glancing once back at the troupe of musicians to stare at Zander, who blinked and gulped. She only frowned and walked into her room. Only the sounds of recovering Soos and Grenda as they helped back up Candy carried around the open space of the forest clearing.

"That was stupidly ominous," Kane pointed out.

"Yeah, one second," Dipper smiled to the band while he grabbed his sister, and then pulled her aside. "Mabel, I know _I_ said this was a bad idea," he spoke to her in a hushed voice, "but now your own master is practically telling us this is a bad idea."

"But she didn't say no," Mabel put a finger up as to label the point. Dipper growled and shook his head. "C'mon dude," Mabel pleaded with him.

"Mabel, you were a werewolf less than a week ago. You want one of them becoming one next?" Dipper demanded quietly. Mabel frowned and bit her lips. Dipper wasn't entirely wrong. She looked past him to the band, where Robbie and Zander were both eyeing the twins with concern. Her eyes briefly met with Zander's, and she lacked the strength to pull away her gaze.

Her fate was sealed when he gave her the gentlest of smiles.

"We'll be fine, Dipper," Mabel told him. "Even if something happens, we're together, and I've been working with my master closely. We can handle whatever," she told her brother who sighed and shrugged.

"Okay, fine. We'll go for a walk with them. Just so you know," Dipper looked forcefully to Mabel, "when this does go crazy bad, I told you so," Dipper added as he spun back to the band.

"Okay, Dipper and I are ready to give the tour," Mabel told them happily as they walked back.

"Awesome," Zander rubbed this hands together and then wrapped his arms around the closest two necks with an excited hug, "guys, just imagine: we can sing about things that actually exist!"

"Dude, chill," Kane told him with a sigh and looked to the twins, "and I think we're ready."

"Yup. Sorry you three," Zander told the worshippers of the band closer to the building, "this is where we part ways."

"And don't stalk us, please," Bishop pleaded as he looked to Grenda and Candy.

"Be careful in there!" Soos called to them as Mabel started leading the way to the forest edge. Zander nodded to them and saluted, and then adjusted his scarf.

"Dude, it's summer," Robbie told him, "you can take off the scarf."

"Nah. Mine. Stays on," Zander retorted.

There was a certain dread to her task at hand. Granted, the last time she and Dipper ventured through the trees, they came back on young mastodon who was very friendly. But now, as she thought back, the woods were both a salvation and a damnation. Monsters and beasts lurked about as much as blessings and benevolent forces awaited to be discovered.

So, with a heavy sigh, Mabel took her first step into the line of trees and started pushing forward. Behind them, the band members quickly began to gasp and point around.

"Whoa, dude, you see mushrooms that big before?" Marcus asked to Zander who shook his head while smiling.

"Or how about that one crazy tree?" Kane added as he pulled out an impaled leaf on his spiky hair.

"Yeah, yeah, it's nice and pretty," Robbie told them his hands deep in his pants pockets. The group eyed him as he glanced around, a strange look of heaviness and longing in his gaze.

"Nothing quite like home, huh Robbie?" Zander asked him as he pushed slightly ahead of his band members as he looked around.

"I, uh, guess not," he shrugged, "just a lot of memories here." Dipper snorted loudly, which was not unnoticed by Robbie. "What?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you have a lot of memories here," Dipper rolled his eyes and shook his head with a smirk.

"You got something to say, huh Dipper?" Robbie glared to him, "sounds like you wanted to say something, you know, if you weren't such a chicken about that sort of thing."

"W-what?!" Dipper spun around to face Robbie's pleased grin. "tough talk coming from you, mister hypnotizer!"

"That was once! Better than you, relationship-ruiner!" Robbie retorted.

"Relationship-what!?"

"Going around crossing anyone else? Like Pacifica?"

"Shut up, you son of a-"

"Oo-kaaay, and we're done with that," Zander quickly appeared between the two of them. Dipper and Robbie found themselves within inches of one another, staring at one another heatedly. Zander glanced to Dipper, and then to Robbie. "So, you two done?" he asked. The two angered exchanged a glance and turned from one another, arms crossed and scowling.

"Dude, what was that about?" Marcus asked Robbie worriedly.

"Nothing," the guitarist replied quietly.

"Right. I know you're new to P.R., but dang Robbie," Zander said quietly as he walked away from Dipper to follow his bandmate, "that's not how we keep a strong following with fans. Rule number one- they're right as long as they're not rude."

"Well, for one," Robbie spun around and jabbed a finger towards Dipper's back, "he's being rude, and two, he's no fan of mine!"

"Got that second part right," Dipper remarked. Robbie made a sudden movement as to rush at Dipper, but the band acted quickly.

"Okay, okay," Marcus stepped up as well, "let's just chill then," he added, and Robbie grunted and looked away. "So, uh, we keep them apart?" he asked the lead singer, who sighed.

"Dipper, you take lead?" Zander asked the hatted boy, who shrugged.

"Sure," he gloomily said as he turned and started heading deeper into the woods.

As Dipper passed by her, Mabel was torn between grasping his shoulder and demanding an explanation and consoling him. Her deep understanding of his mind gave her an insight to his feelings, which were a tad more fragile after that little spat between him and Robbie.

"What's eating them?" Mabel jumped as a voice asked her from just behind. Zander had appeared next to her, waiting for her to continue. She shrugged tightly, feeling the short distance between him and her. Man, was he tall and surely handsome up close. With a quick and silent reminder to herself that she could speak to him without throwing up, she stepped onward and spoke.

"They're not fond of one another. Never really have been," Mabel tried telling him in her steadiest voice. It buckled a few times from her excitement and dread, but the nuances were not caught by the singer as he nodded.

"Could tell that, alright. But why?" he asked her and she sighed.

"Long story. Dipper and Robbie both liked the same girl," she explained quietly, her voice no louder than the steps she took, "and they didn't like each other to begin with."

"Same girl?" Zander asked, leaning down to hear Mabel's words. His clean, warm breath passed by her ear and Mabel could have sworn her heart split into two pieces, and those pieces started dancing.

"Y-yeah, yeah, they both liked the same girl. Her name is Wendy. She's really cool," Mabel told him, focusing on anything but the proximity of the man next to her, "and Robbie did get a chance with Wendy, but... I guess they never stopped competing even though Robbie dated and Dipper didn't."

"Yeah, sounds like poor Robbie all right," Zander nodded solemnly. Mabel frowned and turned to look at him. 'Poor Robbie' wasn't a phrase she had expected from the leader. He grinned at her confusion, and she felt heat on her cheeks as she flushed. "Robbie's had it rough for a while."

"Huh?"

"Well," Zander glanced back to the troupe, who were all idly talking to one another, and trying to cheer up the now gloomy looking Robbie as well, "we held a competition when our last guitarist left. We had a lot, and I mean a _lot_, of competition. So many people trying their hardest to be... well, something they weren't."

"What does that mean?" Mabel asked.

"When someone performs, Mabel," Zander told her as the woods grew darker and the air heavier, "people can tell when it's natural. You need to be comfortable and friendly and fun and energetic. A lot of people can't do all of that at the same time. Hardly anyone could get three of them done, but all four? And still perform? We couldn't find anyone who fit. And then we found Robbie, the dumb kid," Zander added with a chuckle. He continued, "this poor dude walks into the audition, dead in his eyes and looks exhausted. He was late, and our manager wouldn't let him into the audition until everyone else had gone first. It was one in the morning and this guy just stumbled onto stage like a zombie."

"I've heard that description for him before," Mabel snickered.

"Right! Anyway," Zander chuckled and furthered his story, "the poor guy still had it. He was talented enough; sure, he needed work, he loved the spotlight, and full of energy, but he wasn't having fun. He was miserable."

"Then why did he get in?" Mabel asked as she pushed herself around a tree, keeping her eyes on the man next to her, "he didn't meet your coolio requirements."

"No, he didn't," Zander told her and he glanced back once more, but then smiled, "but what he brought something new to the group that our gang needed," and her turned back to look at Mabel, "hope."

"Hope?" she gaped, "Robbie brought hope?"

"He was a run-away, had little to no cash, and had no where to go after this. Sure, he was rough around the edges, but he had waited, after being told to go home a few times, and stood before us, waiting to be judged. So, I told him to perform his favorite song for us, his _real_ favorite song. He had done one of ours... not so well," Zander admitted, "but when he played his cherished song, well, then we found our guitarist."

"What was the song?" Mabel asked, forgetting the distance between the two of them, and only coming the realize she was only a few inches from him. As she gasped and felt the fears of the closeness, he smiled and shook his head.

"That's personal, Mabel," Zander told her and bent back up, "it was something close to him, and it was his willingness to show us that which got him the spot."

"And he's had it rough?" Mabel checked in with the man again.

"Well, being forced to our standards by the manager, and taking lessons from me personally every day until a week ago has been tough. I'm not a hard teacher, but I do press 'em to be better and better each time," Zander confided in her, scratching his back. While watching him with a mild emberrisment, Mabel glanced behind herself, better to check to see if anyone noticed her. Yet, for the first time, she realized that both Robbie and Bishop still had their primary instruments, and that Marcus and Kane had a backpack, which she realized had shapes which would strike her as holding a keyboard and spare set of drums.

"You guys aren't dropping those off anywhere?" Mabel asked the musicians.

"Nope. They stay with us," Kane told her, patting his backpack.

"Duskhope rule- you don't leave your instrument behind," Zander told Mabel, "so no-one loses anything and nothing gets stolen."

"Hardcore, dude," Mabel told him. Zander laughed and as he stood up fully, his eyes opened wide and he gasped. "Whoa."

"Huh?" Mabel turned and found herself almost run into Dipper. "Whoa, Dip, what's... up... oh."

The entire group stopped at a large patch of the forest which was, for lack of a better term, dark blue. The space around them was vacant; trees were thin and springy, winding upwards like gnawed hands and arms reaching for the canopy, all devoid of leafs. Nearly three hundred feet away was a large, ancient wooden home, built into the side of a cliff-face. It was made of clay and log, and had suffered from extensive burns. Half the roof caved in, and the rotten remains of the door held itself aloft on rusted hinges. What few remaining undestroyed glass windows were covered in vines and filth.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked as she stepped next to him, eying the structure. He was rummaging through the book.

"Wood cabin... wood house... wooden man? Wood... nothing," Dipper looked to Mabel, "nothing. I've got nothing on this place," he told her worriedly.

If the atmosphere of this place wasn't warning signs enough, the journal had nothing on it either. That was beyond strange, as Mabel stepped closer, eying the dark windows for signs of movement. The journal had almost never let them down from things that naturally prowled in the woods. This wasn't even moving- it just sat there, rotting away. How could Grandpa Stanly missed this place? Sure, it was about as dark here as it was with the pine forest with the werewolves, but this just stuck out. Mabel could even smell some of the remains of ashes and burning wood linger in the air. Rot and decay took up the most of the scent, and she gulped. This could be a dangerous place.

"Let's go check it out," Zander quickly stepped past the twins with his usual excited smile.

"Hold up," Dipper walked in front of him as the group followed, "maybe we should take this slow. This journal can held us discern if there's bad stuff waiting inside. It'll take time, but we can stay safe," Dipper reminded him.

"I hate to side with him, but Dipper's right," Robbie added, stepping around from the group and standing next to Zander, "this stuff can be bad mojo, man."

"I don't you backing me on this," Dipper growled quietly at him.

"And I don't need to have a selfish reason to tell someone something important, unlike you," Robbie retorted. Dipper's mouth dropped and his eyes widened as he turned to face the man. Robbie had grown a few inches to be sure, but Dipper had caught up considerably with the older boy. Instead of a few feet separating the two, Dipper was only a few inches shorter than the guitarist.

"Your concerns are noted. Thank you, now to go see a real haunted house," Zander stated as he pushed past the two of them and walked with Mabel.

"Mabel, c'mon, back me up here," Dipper asked her. She turned, looked to Zander, and could only shrug.

"Just let Zander do it, man," Bishop told the two of them as he, Kane, and Marcus followed, "he just sort of does things. Usually works out in the end."

"Usually?" Dipper asked, and Kane sighed.

"Excepting the one time we all almost got kidnapped and held for ransom, yeah," Kane told Dipper as he walked past, "_usually_ it's okay."

Dipper and Robbie both gulped. With a distrustful glance to one another, the both followed towards the building. Ruined was certainly a good word for it, as the wooden walls festered with dirt and rot. This place had been here for a considerable time. It had two floors, as Mabel noted while approaching. Then she and Zander made it to the front door. He glanced back once, counting the members of the party. When he figured out the number of attending people was correct, he nodded to himself, grinned at Mabel, and slowly pushed open the door.

With a loud snap it fell off the hinges and crashed onto the floor. All the faces of those outside went white, and the awaited some horrible reply from inside; A scattering of feet, scampering of claws, skittering of tendrils... but nothing sounded from inside.

"Whoops."

"Nice one, dude," Bishop patted Zander's shoulder, "touch one bit of ancient history, and you ruin it."

"Shut up," Zander laughed as he pushed inside.

Mabel following beside him, they stepped inside the building. Pieces of old furniture were strewn around the floor of the large, strangely open-concept main room of the first floor. An easily identified broken fireplace caught their attention to the right, but the darker respite of the building called from across the large floor. There was dirt everywhere, and Mabel heard her feet echoing against the wooden planks of the floor. It echoed loudly, too loudly for her to think normal for a building resting on solid ground. As she looked down, Dipper gasped and pulled her and Zander back.

"Watch out!" he declared, and pointed to the floor. "It's hollowed out there."

True to his word, the ground underneath the planks contained a devouring darkness that seemed to want to swallow Mabel's sight as she tried peering into it. Dipper looked to her once, and she nodded, holding his arm as he crept forward. He firmly pressed his foot against a panel, and loud creaks replied from his effort.

"That sounds like unsafe wood," Dipper told them.

"The worst kind of wood," Mabel added, "with exception of flesh-eating wood. That stuff is bonkers-crazy."

"That doesn't actually exist, does it?" Marcus inquired as he approached with the other four. Mabel nodded, and the man sighed and long, low whistle. "I hate the woods now. Lets sing about cities and the stupid people."

"Heck no!" Zander defied his wish and began to creep around the selected area of wood.

"Just don't do a cute little jig on this area," Mabel told the others, following in the path Zander laid out. "Like, anywhere else is good, but this one. Do a river dance on that table," she pointed to a rickety old, and well rotten table across the room.

"Just what kind of people lived here you think?" Marcus asked to the group at large. Robbie shook his head while looking around.

"I dunno, man. Maybe, like, colonial people?" he guessed.

"No way," Dipper snorted.

"Yeah, anyone with this kind of furnishing would be from the late eighteenth century. Maybe eighteen ninety," Zander stated easily, tracing his fingers over a dark wooden cabinet.

"Oh. Right. You know, cus that's common knowledge," Robbie rolled his eyes and scoffed. Zander chuckled as he pressed on, giving the cabinet a small slap. The contents inside rattled like glass bottles, and the man spun, in one wide step, perfectly around and stared at it.

"What's hiding behind curtain number one?" Zander murmured as he reached out to pull open the door.

"Hold on," Dipper approached the door before him, holding his hand back. "It could just make the sounds like glass. Let me check," he turned away from Zander, and rapped his hands against the wood hard in five loud knocks. "Knock-knock," Dipper called. After a brief pause, he shrugged. "Okay. No mimic in there."

"Wait, mimic?" Bishop called. "Like a mime?"

"Nah, these are jerks who pretend to be things like doorways and cabinets, and then when you open them they eat you," Mabel answered for Dipper, "we found one three summers ago- and they hate knock-knock jokes."

"Oddly... specific," Kane mentioned as he moved to the table. As the lead singer opened the cabinet slowly with Dipper by his side, Kane spotted something by Mabel while she walked across the other side. "Hey," he said aloud, and pulled out from the heavy dust and rotting leaves a decayed book. "Whoa, this thing is seven different ways of freaky."

"Like Dipper!" Mabel snorted.

"Mabel, shut up," Dipper growled at her as she and Robbie snickered. Zander turned from his revealed shelves of strange potion-like objects, and turned to the table. "What's that?" Dipper asked as Kane slowly wiped away the filth crusting the pages and cover of the book. Finally the man lowered the book for all to see, and they gasped and 'awed' in their sights: sigils and runes coated the pages, with various scribbled instructions to create them. Dipper's eyes widened and he looked to Mabel. "I've seen this stuff before- when I was looking up the stuff that Warlock stole from the library. These are magic spells."

"Legit magic?" Bishop asked, a worried look around. There was a broken staircase along the side of the room that lead to a half-floor above, which was held by the walls at the front of the building. "You don't think there could be, like, magical stuff going on now?"

"Hard to say," Dipper answered, "sometimes magic is really obvious, sometimes it's subtle."

"Great. So we really have no idea as to know if we're standing on some sort of enchantment or not," Robbie pointed out, "great."

"Calm down. If anyone else here would know about enchantments, it would be you," Dipper remarked as he looked to the walls by the cabinet.

"What was that!?" Robbie demanded. Mabel looked into the book further, ignoring her brother's heated reply. Instead, she turned the page, and found a new spell.

"This one looks like it's about protection or something," Mabel announced to those still listening. Kane had his eyes stuck on Dipper and Robbie, who were now facing one another angrily, glaring at each other as they swapped insults.

"Well, at least I can move past something!" Robbie called.

"Coming from a guy who literally threw himself into a grave? Hah!" Dipper replied.

"Yeah? You want a trip to one?" Robbie advanced a step, but Dipper didn't back down.

"Oh? What, are you going to throw me into a grave and ask me to grovel? Unlike you-"

Mabel glanced to them, and instead raised her voice loudly, trying to pull them into the discovery. "It says here that someone can put themselves into a permanent stasis if they mediate hard enough, and simply become a statue in time," Mabel said around the table, and turned the page. "Oh, not as pretty," she said, and flipped again, leaving behind the ritual for reviving the dead as servants. "And this one is about growing plants faster!" She called over the loudest words yet, and turned to glare at them, away from the table, "Guys!"

"WHAT?!" they both demanded.

"Would you two chill?" Zander demanded of them, his arms cross, and his smile faded away. "Robbie, what the heck dude, you can't act like this with people."

"Dipper's being a freaking ass!" Robbie yelled. Dipper laughed bitterly and turned to face him.

"Maybe you just needed a chance to hear what you sounded like three years ago!" Dipper told him furiously.

"Better than what ever you had to say! If Wendy was still here, I'd ask her how her eye was doing!" Robbie taunted Dipper. The teenager's hands balled up and his eyes sharpened. Mabel knew that may be the second to last time Robbie would get to say something like that before Dipper made a move. She pushed herself away from the table, moving between them.

"You don't get to talk about Wendy that way!" Dipper shouted at him, "you ruined any chances you had with her! You just wanted to be _around_ her, not wanted _her_!"

"Yeah? You think I'm that bad, huh? What do you know what I've done?!" Robbie demanded as Mabel stood between them, pushing Dipper aside as Kane walked behind Robbie and tried pulling him aside, "don't touch me man! This kid thinks he's so smart with that book of his and getting to be a snide little spitball who- who just-" Robbie turned and kicked at the table next to him, which slid away with his power and slammed through the wall. As Robbie cooled off, his breathing slowing, the group slowly realized that the wall he had broken had a room behind it. Yet, as Zander looked around the side of the wall, there was no door.

"Did... did he just find a hidden room by kicking a table through a wall?" Bishop asked with a small grin, "nice work, Jackie Chan."

"Now, what do we have inside curtain number two?" Zander asked as he pulled himself through the thin wall, stepping over the remains of the shattered table. Mabel had just let go of Dipper, who had broken his fury in tide of the curiosity tuning him to the new location.

The second room was not scorched, and while still suffered from the element of time, it remained decaying but organized. Two large bookshelves sat on the wall next to them, and the large inside of the room was carved into rock. In the center of the room, which was surrounded by ornate wooden tables, was a large stone pedestal with Celtic carvings all along its surface.

Standing in a pose of penance with both hands placed before her, a stone statue stood across from them, situated before the pedestal. The woman, as best they could see it, was decorated to be described as 'a witch'. She wore a very wide pointed hat, and had baggy clothing.

"That is so freakin' cool," Zander breathed as he stalled, and looked right to her.

"Sort of story-book, huh?" Bishop asked as he also stepped in, followed by the twins. Dipper whistled and Mabel found her eyes drawn to the statue.

"Man, this is definitely cool," Dipper admitted as he walked to one of the tables, where a mortar and pestle sat unused and forgotten. "You know, I don't usually like calling out things before I have evidence, but I think we just discovered a witch's hut."

"Nice work, Detective Obvious," Robbie scowled at him, walking around the statue to feel the rock. Dipper glared at him, but said nothing, instead looking at the materials on the table.

"So, if there was a witch here, "Marcus asked, "what happened to 'em?"

"Well, there was some burnt wood, wasn't there?" Mabel pointed out, crossing her arms together, "what if people found out about her and then, you know, burnt this place to the ground?" she added sadly, "and maybe the place is haunted at night."

"Can we not talk about ghosts?" Robbie told her, turning from the wood sharply. Mabel looked to him, slightly taken aback at his sudden volume, and he looked apologetic. He waved his hand and looked away, trying to convey his apology non-verbally.

"Why, what's wrong Robbie? Bad memories about ghosts?" Dipper asked him. Robbie clenched his jaw tightly and swallowed his hateful words, instead choosing to examine the slightly wet walls of natural rock before him.

"Stop it," Mabel shot at her brother, who turned away and continued to look through items.

"Ah! Here we go," Zander announced, having paced around the circle of tables to find a single outlaying book. "Wiccan spells," he announced loudly.

"Wiccan?" Mabel gasped and walked over, "turn someone into a frog! With lots of warts!"

"What the heck is wiccan?" Marcus asked to the group.

"It's like the new pagan," Zander told him, "like how you have old cars and new cars? Well, you have pagan and wiccan."

"But Wiccans are new stuff," Dipper told the group as he too approached Zander's table, briefly eyeing the strange statue, "that was made only in the past hundred years or so I thought."

"Maybe. Or maybe we have a little trend-setter here," Zander pointed to the spell book, "doesn't seem like horrible stuff. Increase luck, give beauty, make healthy, spell of protection; good vibe stuff."

"Can you put that stuff down, man?" Robbie asked, worriedly watching the book, "magic is bad stuff, dude."

"Makes it sound like you've dealt with magic before, Robbie," Dipper mentioned in deliberately off-handed way.

"Seriously?" Robbie turned and glared at him, "still going at me, huh? If you hate me so much, why don't you just do something about it?" Dipper turned and stared at him with simmering eyes, but made no movement. "Didn't think so. You always were more talk than act."

"Says you! Who actually fought McSkirmish?" Dipper reminded him.

"Who summoned him to fight for him to begin with!?" Robbie pointed out.

"At least you got the chance to remember!" Dipper told him angrily.

"Oh, thanks! You scarred people in town so much they wanted a chance to forget a part of their lives, and you let us all remember? How can we ever thank you," Robbie snidely retorted.

"Maybe we should just finish what we started then?!" Dipper suggested, and tried snatching the book to put it aside, better for him to go at Robbie. However, the book escaped his fingers clutches, and it flew straight for the stone pedestal.

The book, upon landing on the stone flipped up and began to hover, turning slowly to face the witch statue.

"Uh-oh," Mabel muttered.

Pages began to flip as wind picked up in the room. Wooden panels bent and snapped as the billowing air blasted around them, throwing up shattered tables, chairs, alchemic pieces and ingredients. As the hurricane contained in a single room grew louder and more catastrophic, chunks of the statue were torn away. The stone was not solid. As the pieces of the hair were torn away, living fresh hair billowed in the air underneath the statue. Soon fabric, skin, and even fingers were exposed as the wind tore it all away from the would-be-statue.

"The other books said something about a spell that turns you into a statue-like state," Mabel mentioned aloud as the statue was shredded, and left a woman, floating in place, at the center of the tornado. As the witches hair fell past her face and the wind fell away, her eyes darted open, and bright, shimmering blue eyes met theirs.

The entire group took one large step back, clutching onto one another carefully. The woman looked around, her mouth growing wide and less stable. The sight of the ruined building and rotting setting upsetting her. She then glanced down to the book still levitating before her, and placing a hand above it, it began to rise into her grasp. Once it felt the embrace of her hands, she, and the book, retained gravity, and landed. Her feet firmly onto the ground, she turned, those burning blue eyes glaring at the crowd before her.

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"Hi! I'm Mabel, this is Dipper, Zander, Kane, Robbie, Bishop, and Marcus," Mabel exclaimed quickly. The woman looked to her, and with a whip of her hand, a flash of bright light blinded the group to the world. As they all gasped and turned away, the woman continued to shout.

"That means nothing! What are you doing in my home! What have you done to my family home!?" she yelled as the light reduced. When they all looked back, there was what appeared to be a massive blue outline of a bear before her. Easily five feet tall and transparent, the bear growled at them with echoing, ethereal grunts that sounded as ghostly as the creature looked.

"Did you just summon a bear!?" Zander gasped excitedly. The woman threateningly held her finger to them.

"Answer me now," she told them.

"We're just exploring dude!" Marcus told her, "just wandering around the woods and we stumbled upon this ho- your home!"

The answer he provided did not go well with her. She closed her eyes as her lips curled and her nose wrinkled. She looked disgusted at first, but then her face softened, and she began to sing. The bear grew brighter and larger, and from the air itself, two more figures emerged, similar is color and property, but a cougar and wolf. The witch was summoning these spectral creatures through her voice alone. They began to snarl and bark at the group as her singing grew louder and more pronounced, as haunting and beautiful as the spectral creatures she summoned.

The witch pointed out, and the gang roared with terror as the bear made it's charge. They dodged to the exit as the bear pummeled through the tables easily, leaving a wake of destruction in it's path. As the last of the group leapt from the hole in the wall, the bear slammed through the bookshelves and into the main room, giving chase.

"Out! Let's go!" Zander told them moving to the exit. Dipper and Mabel in lead gasped as their feet were met with loud snaps and creaks. They had just stepped onto the worn and broken floors with the darkness below. With a loud scream as the twins tried to halt the others, the entire floor collapsed.

All seven screamed as the fell down a long, spiraling tunnel into darkness. Echoed with their screams and the bellows of a large bear, the gang spun, fell and bounced off of rock and dirt as they plummeted down into darkness. After what could have been a solid minute, the seven all fell out from whatever tunnel they had been in and came to a sliding stop, slamming into one another.

"...ow," Zander groaned as his muffled voice announced he was at the bottom of the pile of bodies. "Not as exciting as the kiddy slides in playgrounds make you think." Mabel laughed loudly at the comment, and she could swore she _heard_ him smile as he said, "What? What? It's true!"

"One second," Dipper stated as he stood, his footsteps echoing around. With a reach in his pocket and a flick of his wrist, he opened the cellphone, and let the illuminating light of the screen give them partial break from the darkness. Dipper looked around, and found the pile of recovering musicians and his laughing sister. The cave they were in was more of a etched out tunnel. No natural formations informed Dipper of the age of this place, but considering the amount of distance they fell, it could have been deep into the earth.

"I gotcha covered too," Bishop added, and lifted up a lighter, and filled the space with a spare orange glow.

"Great. So now we're deep in the earth, with two directions to go, with one crazy wiccan witch trying to kill us for some stupid reason," Robbie growled as he pushed himself up. "I swear, I thought things would change around Gravity Falls once in a while! But noooo," he continued to whine as Zander stood up next to him, dusting his shoulders off, "still a life and death situation whenever you step into the woods with these two brats!"

"Hey!" they turned, Mabel in particular vocally upset with his accusations.

"Okay, fine, Mabel, sorry," Robbie rolled his eyes, and then stared to Dipper, "but you? Forget it. You're the epitome of trouble."

"Stop it," Zander told them, stepping between their gaze again. That twinkle in his eyes had vanished, and his gaze was anything but friendly. He commanded the space now, and his voice would not be dis-obeyed. "We need to get out of here without a bear mauling us. Yell at one another after we leave, got it?" he told them. Dipper nodded, and Robbie scoffed. "Good. Now... uh... Mabel?" Zander turned to Mabel, who shrinked back from the orange outline of the man before her as he looked pleadingly down to her. "You or Dipper know the way out of here, right?"

"Oh. Oh! Yeah!" Mabel nodded, and gave a long, outstanding sniff of the air. She gasped and turned towards the group. "That way!"

"Any particular reason?" Kane asked her.

"Smells less earthy. And if you're underground, anything less earthy means a way out," Mabel snickered as she informed him.

"Hope you're right," Marcus told her, "lead the way, bloodhound."

"I will sniff us to safety!" Mabel told them, and lead the march, heading into the darkness, provided only the light of the cell phone and the small lighter held above by Bishop.

"Why'd she attack us, anyway?" Robbie asked angrily. "It wasn't like we did anything to her. Heck- looks like we freed her from some sort of spell!"

"In our experience," Mabel stated for herself and Dipper, "people who use magic tend to be less of mind and more of crazy."

"Really?" Zander asked her. When she nodded, he gave a small hum, but said nothing.

"Maybe she thought we burnt that home down," Kane suggested, "if you woke up to your home burned down and a bunch of strangers staring at you, you may be a little upset too."

"Either way, we need to get out of here before she finds us," Dipper told them as he guided the way with Mabel and Bishop.

"Watch out," Bishop snickered, "the Wiccan witch of the northwest is coming to get you."

"Shut up," Kane told him.

The echoing footsteps of the seven provided Mabel with some clearance as they carefully walked around. "Echolocation is the blind-Mabels friend," she told Dipper a few times as she could tell when the tunnel was turning before her sight informed her as such. The mildly damp walls and floors occasionally would drip freezing water onto their heads, reminding them of the cold around them. It was a rude awakening to the stark danger of their situation. Yet, two members were cheery as ever.

"And Mina was really great at playing Frisbee!" Mabel told Zander as they walked together, "and was great with people! Kind of a wonder-mastodon."

"Man, and I thought I felt old. Ten thousand year old mammoth- err- mastodon?" he asked her, the light flickering in his eyes with the same kind of excitement he held when learning something new. Mabel nodded and continued with vigor.

"She would loved to have stayed, but her calling turned out to be the life of the carnie," Mabel said with a sad sigh, "Waddles wasn't that happy with that."

"Sometimes life leads us in directions we never knew we needed to go," Zander shrugged, "and it's only looking back that we realize that we needed to simply let life take us there."

"And sometimes you need to punch life in the face to make her let go of you so you can do your own thing!" Mabel added with excitement. Zander's eyebrows raised as he listened to her, and thankfully the darkness covered her shame. "I mean, uh, peacefully shove her away."

"No way, don't be like that," Zander told her with a pat on the back, "if you're going to lead your own path, you have to be ready to throw a few punches," he told her, wisdom beyond her expectations echoing in her brain, "after all, life is going to make sure you take a few punches. Trust me: I would know."

Their shared laughter was brought to a premature end- the melodic echoes of song bounced through the tunnels now. As the seven clustered tightly, Dipper flipped open his journal, scanning pages yet again for any help.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked him as he used his phone for lighting.

"I'm working on it. Song based spells... song based spells... charms?" Dipper asked to himself. "No, she summoned them from the air!"

"What if that's, like, how she controls them?" Marcus asked.

"What, like _hypnosis_?" Dipper spat at Robbie.

"Just figure out how to get us out of this before we all die, smart one!" Robbie snarled back.

Mabel looked back and forth between the darkness. The sounds seemed to come from both directions, which unless that witch was splitting herself into two people, or had some crazy clone spell, there was only one direction she could come from. Or maybe she had some sort of spell that directed sound from somewhere? Mabel didn't know, and guessing wasn't getting her anywhere.

"Mabel?" Zander asked as her eyes darted back and forth. Finally she looked to him, and saw clear uncertainty in his gaze. He was strong, but just as unprepared as the others. She would not see him disappointed.

Her eyes tightly closed, and she focused inwardly. Passing out of the sight of the world around her, she felt herself sink into the present, a falling person into the meditation she had practiced with Arline for days and weeks previously. There was a chance, just a shimmer of hope that she could tell where it was coming from, if she just would focus better. Yet it wasn't getting anywhere. A certain pair had started up again.

"Maybe you should just threaten the witch with a few punches and then run away, like you usually do," Dipper scolded Robbie.

"Yeah? By all means- go ahead and endanger the world and your family for the mystery to be solved! I hear your pretty good at that!"

"Yeah?!"

"YEAH!"

"ENOUGH!"

All members flinched, and the music suddenly died from far off. Zander Maximillion stood next to the two, breathing heavily with wide, angered eyes. That voice he had constantly used to sing and speak with grew deeper and full of fury. But that wasn't all that was changing- the sounds of running animals echoed around the hallways.

"Great. They're coming," Kane added.

"Then we need to run!" Dipper told them worriedly, but as he turned to move, a powerful hand pinned him, and Robbie in place. They were thrown against one another, and in the blink of an eye, suddenly were tied by a very sturdy, shiny and silk-like scarf. Zander patted his hands and stepped back, and glared at the two of them.

"Zander?" Mabel asked him.

"We're not leaving until they solve this like normal human beings," Zander said darkly, his arms crossed in the dimmed light.

"Zander, this isn't the time to be teaching life-lessons," Marcus pointed out, but Zander refused to budge.

"We're all waiting on you two," Zander told Dipper and Robbie, who both were standing, mouth agape as they stared at Zander and to each other.

"We can do this later-"

"Mabel, find out where the woman is," Zander told Mabel, who nodded and began to meditate again. "You two... End. This."

"Boss, c'mon-"

"NOW," Zander told Robbie, who flinched and sighed. Suddenly, words spilled from his gut as the sounds of a large spectral bear pounded off the floor in the distance.

"You always made me insecure!" Robbie called loudly, not looking at Dipper, who blinked.

"What?" he asked.

"You were close to Wendy and you never had to try, and you were three years younger than me," Robbie turned in his tie, glaring at Dipper resentfully, "and you knew it! You wanted her for your own as much as I did, and I... I was annoyed that you could do that!"

"I... well, to be truthful, you didn't really deserve her!" Dipper shouted angrily.

"Yeah! I know that!" Robbie exploded heatedly. Dipper blinked and looked to him fully. The Robbie Dipper had once known was no longer present. A somber, saddened man stood there, his head hung in some form of guilt. "I didn't deserve Wendy, and I didn't deserve Tambry. I just lucked out and with a little hope, someone saw pity on me. That's all I am," he sighed, and clutched his forehead with a hand, "a pity party supreme. And I deserve nothing of it."

Dipper looked around. The band members were all watching, their eyes wide in fear and shock as they had listened to Robbie's confession. Dipper sighed himself, and shrugged.

"And I was also mean to you too, man. I won't say you didn't deserve it, but yeah, I ruined your relationship with Wendy because I thought you were trying to control her, but... also I wanted her for my own," Dipper shook his head, "and I'd be lying if I didn't say I may have done it again."

"Yeah, sorry for ruining that one for you," Robbie sighed deeply. Dipper blinked and looked to him.

"What do you mean by-"

"There!" Mabel suddenly exclaimed, opening her eyes and pointing ahead. "She's coming from ahead!"

"Well great," Kane said aloud, "because those ghost animals are here!"

True to his word, Zander unraveled the powerfully tight scarf from the two, and they gave each other only a single, studying glance before facing the coming threat. The bear waddled into sight from the dark behind them , having followed them from the cave-in. Yet, as Mabel gasped, the cougar and wolf appeared on the other side, flanking either side of the approaching witch, who had halted her singing.

"I'm going to ask you one more time who you are," she told them, her smooth and cool voice gripped with intent, "and I shall have my answers."

"Is it answers you want?" Zander asked her, She stared to him and nodded as he laughed, "because it sounds like you're more interested in just hurting the first people you see."

"What?!" she demanded.

"We're just people!" Mabel told her, "Dipper and I- that's Dipper," Mabel pointed to her brother quickly, "we just wanted to show these five around the woods. Nothing bad! We didn't even know you were here!"

"If you had no intent of traveling to my home, how did you know of my secret room?" she asked them. Robbie slapped a hand to his face and raised his hand.

"My bad. I kicked a table when I was mad and it broke the wall. I can fix it if you-"

Robbie's apology was cut off as she shrieked, and the blue shimmering light of the creatures flickered and went red. Dipper gasped, and held his book as he flipped pages quickly.

"I want to know who destroyed my family!" she bellowed, her voice amplified by magic.

"They're familiars," Dipper told them quietly, "she's summoned familiars. Witch's and wizard guardians made of magic and... stuff. Doesn't really specify-"

"You! Boy! Dipper," she pointed to Dipper, who gulped and hid his book, "how do you know of my familiars."

"Uh... this journal?" he pointed. The witch sighed and nodded.

"I knew it. Witch hunters. You've finished my family, and now you wanted to come back and finish me," she growled hatefully. Zander stepped forward, his hands up.

"Now hold on," he told her, "we really just want to leave. We're not witch hunters, I assure you-"

"Liar!" she growled, "someone among you conceals magical properties! I can sense it!" she spat at him, and Zander spun around, looking between the members of the group. Eyes fell onto Dipper, who stared at the book.

"Don't look at me! Or this!" he told them worriedly.

"Unless you have something to prove your innocence, I believe this will come to an end now," she told them, and closed her eyes and widened her mouth. She began to sing again, swaying her arms back and forth as the beautiful, haunting calls of her voice spurred on the familiars.

"Dipper! We need an answer now!" Marcus demanded of the young teen as the animals slowly closed in on them.

"The book only mentions summoning them! Nothing about controlling them at all!" Dipper shouted.

"Well, if she uses music," Robbie stated, and stepped out, reaching around to his guitar as he stood before the large bear. With the instrument out, he shouted his strongest and strummed the strings. The witch gasped as she lost her pace of her song, while the animals roared and stepped back. "Fight fire," he turned to look at the woman, "with MUSIC BABY!" he slammed his fingers against the cords again, and Dipper and Mabel instantly recognized the song from the day before- Gaiatale.

"Fools!" the witch declared, and she began to sing again. The animals around them sparkled and cast off bursts of energy, like the song itself she sung empowered them. Mabel saw this and connected the two quickly.

"Robbie!" she said as she left the safety of the group, "sing that song but make it about me!" Mabel told him.

"What!?" Robbie demanded.

"Just do it! The spell she uses makes the animals stronger, so if you sing the song to me, shouldn't it make me stronger too!?" she explained. Robbie was so flustered with the idea he paused. Yet his time was short- the cougar launched itself at Mabel, and she spun to see it, holding her arms to block the attack. "ROBBIE!" she shouted.

"_We are the children of the stars and sun!_" A new voice added to the darkness, as Zander sung with Robbie, "_The youngest seekers of each horizon!_" Mabel's arms buckled but held as she felt the full weight of the spectral cat land on her. Looking to her own arms, she saw a red energy streak around her arms, and she felt empowered. The magic was working.

"I'll take bear over here," Dipper told them, "gimme some of that juice!" Dipper shouted as he charged the bear on it's hind legs.

"_With our own hands we can be undone!_" The band roared unison as the twins, one red with orange sparks, the other blue with silver streaks darted around the created beings of stardust and arcane power.

Dipper had this in the bag. Compared to his battle with Multi-bear, this was a breeze. Not only that, everything he did was effortless. The power, the actual power of the music enforced by the spell, flowed through him and made all the techniques Mabel had ever taught him a hundred times easier. The bear couldn't keep up, and he danced around it, knocking it side to side; punches filled with a power he should not contain.

"_Our ancient mother fear does warn to try_-"

Mabel was beyond the abilities of Dipper. She fought two targets constantly. The wolf and cougar constantly exchanged attacks and dives for Mabel, who flipped over one and would strike the other before it attacked. The fierce orange light guided her and lead her to deliver the attacks and forced her to make the dodges and parries she needed to survive. The entire time she knew what was going on behind her as her brother fought a ghostly bear and a band of some of the worlds most famous musicians sang for them, and them only.

"_Change our future till our tears do dry_-"

With a mighty toss, Dipper had throw the bear, a seemingly impossible feat made real with the power of magic, past the band and next to the stunned enchanting Witch, who stared at the twins.

"_Or page that written bodes not well_-"

They approached in unison was a beautiful and terrible convergence of their energy. Red mixed with blue like fire and silver crossed with orange like embers. They stood before the witch, a martial wall of opposition for her to cross if she wanted to hurt the band.

"_Of our future we shall say farewell!_"

The woman stopped her song, her mouth falling shut. With tears in her eyes, she clapped her hands, and the three familiars vanished like wisps of smoke, leaving a faint shimmering trail behind. As they faded into nothingness, the band fell silent, watching her as she watched them. The magical aura from Dipper and Mabel had faded away, leaving behind only their sweat and heaving breaths. The woman nearly stared, her head trembling as she shook.

"You're one of my kind," she told them, the start of sparkling tears in those bright blue eyes.

"What?" Dipper inquired of her.

"Only another witch could possibly know how to use the enchanting spell like that against another witch! I... I tried to hurt you all, and you really weren't trying to hurt me the entire time," she said, and stumbled to the twins, grasping their hands and falling to her knees, "by my spirits, please forgive my idiocy!"

"Whoa! Easy on the squeezing!" Dipper demanded as she clutched at his hand.

"See? We told you we weren't trying to hurt you," Mabel told her as she patted her arm. The witch looked to her, fearful for the answer. "Oh stoppit! I forgive you. It's not like this is the first time we've dealt with angry magic users."

"Thank you!" the witch declared as she scooped up Mabel and Dipper in her hug, and let off a shaky, raspy sing sob. Only a moment passed before she stood and approached the band, looking to Robbie and Zander. "My apologies extend to you as well," she told them, and specifically looked to Robbie, "I'm so glad you understood the nature of my spell before it was too late."

"Oh... well, I can't say this is my first time dealing with this sort of thing," he admitted with a grin.

"I must admit," she told them, looking to the group as a whole, " I've never heard of such a song type before. It's... powerful?" she stated to them and they chuckled and laughed.

"If I was from your time," Zander told her with a hand on her shoulder, "I would have been a shocked, horrified, and disturbed listening to that stuff. But, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Guys, today we made another fan," Zander turned to his bandmates with a cheer.

"Fan? Hah! more like competition," Marcus stated, "you're great at singing!" he told her warmly.

She nodded and grinned. "Thank you... it was my mother's favorite thing to do with me. Sing?" she explained, looking around. "At least... before she and my father..."

Mabel and Dipper glanced to one another as the band all exchanged looks. There was a general pitying of the witch before them, stressed only more by the fact that she was not only alone in her lifestyle, but alone in her family. Dipper doubted she would be even able to find any distant relatives of her families line. Yet Zander snapped his fingers above his head, and turned to his bandmates, speaking quietly, "this could be more useful to us."

"Huh?" Robbie asked him, and Zander sighed, pulling him and the band into a clustered huddle. The three watched him, from the witch worriedly picking at the hem of her robes to Mabel and Dipper trying to eavesdrop of their conversation. Finally they re-emerged, a satisfied Zander and a strangely somber band behind him facing the witch.

"Ma'am," Zander approached her, "could I know your name?" he asked her.

"Midian," she told him.

"Midian. Appropriate," Zander added to the side, and then looked back to her, a clever smile and twinkle in his gaze, "we would like to offer you a proposition."

* * *

"_Bright case of wishes, peirce through the world_

_Laiden of all our prayers now and forever more!"_

From backstage, Dipper and Mabel cheered, easily drowned out by the collective power of the audience before the band. As the shouts, cheers and hollars died and Zander stepped closer to the stage, he gripped the microphone again, looking around. Standing next to him, in a quickly designed modern take of a witch, with a hand-made leather robe and her hat, was Midian. She had sung along with the music, having been able to not only catch onto the themes and beats of the music in a single night, but thoroughly enjoyed every moment of it.

"Well, we know what this means, don't we?" Zander told the audience with a slow voice. The reactions in the crowd were disappointed and saddened- some people even were booing. The show was about to end. Zander held his hand up, and silently asked to let to speak. Finally the audience quieted. "It's not all that's going on guys," he told them with a sigh, "yeah. It's been a while. A long, long while being part of Duskhope," he told the members before him, and then he glanced back and nodded for Midian to approach the stage. She did so, fiddling with her leather robes, and Zander wrapped and arm around her shoulder, "but it's time we formally introduce this beautiful and talented woman. Please, welcome the newest member of Duskhope MIDIAN!" Zander roared to the crowd.

The applause was huge, and Zander punched the air excitedly. Midian gasped and held a hand to her mouth. Mabel was pretty sure she could hear the woman mouth to Zander that this was too much to handle, but Zander shook his head. He still wasn't done with the news.

"Yeah, pretty cool huh? Duskhope has been wondering for ever when we were going to get a girl in on this, and I'm so proud to announce that the first lady to join our ranks is going to be the lead singer," he told the masses before him.

Dipper gasped and Mabel did a double take. The entire audience, along with the band members followed suit, staring at the man at the edge of the stage. Zander turned his gaze to the backstage curtains, and eyed the twins. He gave them a single wink, and looked away. Apparently, the confusion he caused was long enough.

"Duskhope only needs five members," Zander told the world before him, "and I've been here since the beginning. The ride was wild, and the people were awesome. But... this is the new Duskhope," he pulled up Midian, who stared at him with wide, fearful eyes. "Everyone, I'm here for one last show, here, and now, because this is it for me. This was my last performance as the lead singer of Duskhope."

The gasp and murmur of the crowds were peppered by cries and shrieks of fans of Zander.

"Truth be told," Zander looked to Robbie, "after finding out mister Valetino came from this town, I wanted to find the next big member from this town as well. Seemed only right. And did we ever find the perfect replacement," Zander told Midian, and opened his arms to her, "good luck, Midian. Keep my boys in order."

Midian took the offer and ran to hug him. Zander laughed loudly on the stage, as he waved a free hand to the crowds. Soon the entire audience was clapping and cheering for Midian, who lined up with the new faces of Duskhope, and they all bowed before them. Zander, for the first time in his career, clapped for them instead of along side them.

"Remember- There's always another day! I'm retiring! So long, suckers!" Zander shouted as he then ran off stage, passing Mabel and Dipper.

The twins watched him go, and with only one look to one another, they also burst out laughing. The guy was totally whacky, nuts, and driven to do whatever he wanted.

"He's sort of like you," Dipper managed to cough out as they calmed down. Mabel smirked and her eyes trailed the direction Zander had run off. He was no longer in sight, but she could imagine him somewhere there, figuring out where he, and his immaculate pile of money would be staying.

Following the show, Dipper and Mabel stepped outside, and quickly began to step towards their friends- Soos, Candy and Grenda awaited for them just at the entrance, and they quickly exchanged their thoughts and feelings of the entire ordeal. Of course the three had heard first hand from Dipper and Mabel what had happened in the woods, and even glanced from the door of the shack her appearance.

"He literally just said that he wanted her to join the band, and that they would be more than willing to get her up to date," Dipper told them, "he never mentioned anything about finding a replacement."

"That's like, the biggest news since one of the beetles died," Grenda told them, "Zander Maximillion leaves Duskhope!?"

"My own brain needs a reboot after witnessing that," Candy told her. She looked to Mabel and sighed, "oh Mabel, what was it like? Walking alongside a legend like that?" she asked. Mabel gave it some thought, remembering the seemingly endless qualities that drove her to enjoy the man known as Zander.

"Pretty cool. Not going to lie about it," she told them with a snicker. Dipper sighed and shook his head, turning away from them as he walked around the building.

"Dipper? Dawg?" Soos asked as Dipper parted. "What'cha up to?"

"I wanted to say something before they packed up and went," Dipper told them, "something I need to tell Robbie," he added to Mabel as he turned and marched off in a hurry.

Dipper heard the collective gasp and excited exchange of ideas to his meaning behind him. It meant nothing to him. The only thing that mattered was getting the clean answers from Robbie, and being truthful with him. He had the chance to really be level with him now, for the first time in his strange history with Robbie Valentino.

Dipper met the sight of the multitude of trucks and trailers in the back, and he sighed. He could already hear Robbie talking with the band. He didn't mind if the other guys overheard this, but this was something he saw going better in private. Coming to the edge of a small white truck, Dipper waited and listened.

"...C'mon dude," the voice of Bishop called, "Zander, man-"

"I made up my mind," Zander told them with resolution, "I'm out. It's up to your five now."

"But-"

"C'mon man," Robbie told them, "we got this. We had a badass teacher, and now we got each other. And Midian is going to keep up is line, right?"

"With my best efforts," her voice added. There was a bit of laughter at her words, and they went silent. Dipper could hear a few footsteps and the tightening of leather. Zander coughed loudly. Dipper contained a loud sigh of understanding- they were hugging him out of sight.

"Stay safe, my man," Kane told Zander.

"Robbie, you chilling here?" Marcus's voice added.

"Just for a bit. I want a second to, you know, see my home sky for a bit before we run off again," Robbie told them. A distant reply met Dipper, but he was now aware that Robbie was alone. The man sighed and leaned against another truck, muttering something softly to himself. Just as Dipper made to push himself off the truck, Robbie gasped and scampered. "W-Wendy!?"

"Hi Robbie," Wendy's voice replied, and Dipper was rooted to his spot. That... wasn't the usual Wendy voice. She sounded tired, so much more tired than he had ever heard her before, and possibly even sad? Dipper was confused; didn't they kind of 'not speak to one another' anymore?

"W-what the heck are you doing here?!" Robbie hissed as he spoke to the woman. "I thought you said you couldn't stay around here."

"I tried that," Wendy replied, "I... I just couldn't leave them all behind... not yet."

"But... but if they find out-"

"I know, Robbie. Trust me, I of all people am aware."

"Right. Sorry," his voice trembled as Dipper heard distinct pain in his voice. "I, uh," Robbie spoke up again, "I'm close to it."

"Robbie."

"I swear I am! With Midian, maybe she can help? Find a-"

"We made the promise not to involve anyone else, remember?"

"But Wendy-"

"No. No one else gets involved," her voice commanded him.

"Wendy... I-I know I screwed up, but you can't just let that-"

"Robbie," Wendy sounded like she moved to him, or further, Dipper couldn't tell, but her words grew quieter, "don't worry about me. I came here to tell you that I forgive you."

The words sounded like the literally impacted Robbie. He gasped and struggled for air, and sounded like he walked away from her.

"How can I let you do that?" he demanded of her.

"The same way you started this," Wendy told him, "by just doing it."

There was a long pause, and Dipper had the distinct impression someone could see him. He slowly looked to his left, and found Mabel sitting next to him, her eyes wide as she stared at him. He resisted the powerful urge to shout at her, but the voices behind the truck continued.

"Dipper and I... got over our differences," Robbie told Wendy.

"That's great," she told him, her voice slightly more similar to what Dipper recognized, "I'm glad to hear that. Don't want my boys angry at each other forever."

"Don't call me that," Robbie said, sounding upset, "I lost any right for you to call me that that night."

"Maybe. You know," Wendy continued, "you should stop by the guys and say hi." Robbie scoffed at her suggestion. "What? You can face crazy magical witches, but not your angry friends?"

"I... don't want to see Tambry hate me anymore," Robbie told her. Wendy sighed a long, tired breath.

"They're mostly angry you ran away," Wendy told him.

"You... you've talked to them?!" Robbie demanded, and Wendy laughed bitterly. "No... sorry, of course not."

"I keep tabs on everyone... Robbie, just do me the one favor and live your life happily, okay?" Wendy told him. Robbie made a sound to protest, but Wendy continued, "you tried once already to help. Look what that did." A heavy silence fell on those words, and a few hard seconds later, Wendy continued, "just live happy, as best you can."

"But what about you?"

"Meh. I'll figure something out. Or go crazy. One of the two, right?" Wendy chuckled darkly. "Robbie... take care, okay bud?"

"... yeah... you two, Wendy," Robbie said. Footsteps indicated that Wendy left, and Robbie remained longer, watching her leave.

Dipper was paralyzed to the ground, sitting next to his sister, who he just continued to stare at. There was no way. The language, the clues, the vagueness, Robbie's reactions to Dipper's heated words- Dipper had thought it weird that Robbie had used certain words when talking about Wendy, but now it was clear. There had been real reason to it all.

Once again, Dipper's suspicions paid off in the end. Then the sound of Robbie walking off stirred Dipper from his sunken thoughts.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked quietly, an arm on his shoulder.

"Mabel... what did we just overhear?" he asked her. Mabel stared back, her eyes trembling as they gazed in the same shade of brown he had. There was no answer either of them had that would answer any questions the two shared in bountiful quantity.

Only one thing was clear.

"Wendy has been hiding something from us."

* * *

But what? :O

Three now know what's up. If you are one of those three, and I catch you spoiling anything, I will smite you with all the fury I can possibly muster of a vengeful fanfiction writer. But that means, fellow readers, if you go through the cryptograms and the clues I have laiden for you, there is a chance you may know what the heck it is I speak of!

But there you have it. Duskhope. Dipper is officially on Wendy's case, and Zander Maximillion is retiring at the early age of... young. Where? I hear there's a home for purchase in Gravity Falls used by the Gleefuls. Maybe that's still for sale? Hm.

And this was the longest chapter so far, even beating my ridiculously long part two of "A Mabel of Perspective". I hope it was a good read. A lot happened, so don't feel overwhelmed.

So, stay tuned for the cryptograms, and remember: There will always be another day.

(A large and heavy wooden cut-out of a sun slams into EZB from above, burying him instantly.)

* * *

(Vigenere)

**Wysb h vteun, hkaqw mw njel, och oino izdwviec tcgi.**

**Vidfl o gmgxdo, dwhi dhgdosg hds, koly ilh hwha rdsu.**

**Mzkkcl eqx vybpi, gocel ac wmgy, kol bdx vimvz gdvh. **

** Qzou rdiv u eizhtvb vwmvat e wlsqlrn eqx s tvigrhs tojcbi d wzyys**

(Not Vigenere)

**Tev al vlr bsbk tbxo x pzxoc? Fq'p obxiiv txoj lrqpfab. Pboflrpiv. Qxhb fq lcc.**


	33. The Warlock Returns: Part 1

Dipper and Mabel sat in the back of Stan's car along with Yuki, the three quietly waiting for the car to come to a halt. Dipper quietly grumbled in his seat, watching the clouds in the sky as the horizon barely shifted as they rolled down the road. Their destination? The recently re-fitted Gravity Falls convention center, which would be holding their first ever business corporation convention. The purpose?

"I need to see if any of those dang hotel chains are coming to town or not," Stan repeated for the fourth time to Dipper after he asked. Soos sat in the passenger seat, adjusting his tie on his shirt. "I may be getting the cash I've been waiting for, but if one, just one of these shmucks gets into town and has those international ties, I could be out of business."

"You still havn't explained how we do anything about that?" Dipper repeated.

"Simple: you get whatever information you can on them, and then I scare them off with my own personal guerilla warfare!" Stan chuckled darkly.

"Is this necessary?" Yuki pointed out. "While I do not cherish your ideas of commercialism and capitalistic beliefs, certainly healthy competition isn't such a terrible thing."

"Yuki, one of these days I am actually going to start paying you to keep your ideas to yourself," Stan stated, glancing back at him from the mirror. Yuki sighed and also peered his head out the window, watching the trees go bye. "Now, Soos," Stan turned to his employee next to him, "same goes for you and Yuki. Any of these guys at this convention show up saying how excited they are to start moving in, figure out dirt on 'em. Need to sabotage these guys before they have a chance to even set foot on my soil."

"You got it, mister Pines," Soos saluted proudly, "Agent S-Double O-S: ready for action!"

"But Grunkle Stan," Mabel piped up, "if you wanted to send someone out to get a look on these people, shouldn't you send out Wendy and Soos, and not us? We're kind of on the internet now and stuff," Mabel told him.

"Ha! Like everyone lives on the internet. Look, these aren't your age people you'll be dealing with- old farts and busy-bodies that don't have time to check their favorite whatever on the internet," Stan told them as the convention center appeared before them. "Also, Wendy would just find a spot and lounge around, or just take free samples of food from all the stands." Half a minute later, Stan pulled up to the street next to the packed parking lot, and halted the car. "Alright soldiers, mission is a go. I'll pick you up later."

"Okay," Dipper grumbled as he followed his sister and Yuki out of the car, and then Soos followed him out. The door was closed behind them, and the window slid down.

"I don't want to hear about how something crazy happened while I was gone; so don't go looking for trouble! Just get the dirt and make like a tree!"

"And do an interactive dance?" Mabel asked, and rooted her feet together on the ground, waving her arms about. Stan watched her, his face blank and devoid of any real response.

"I am not going to dignify that response with anything but this," he slid the window up, and the car hurdled away.

"Well," Dipper sighed, his hands in his pockets as the four of them turned and stared at the large building before them, "I guess we should get going."

"Yeah! Can't disappoint mister Pines on such an important mission," Soos told them as he patted Yuki's back.

"I'm fairly certain that I do disappoint him on regular basis," Yuki muttered with heavy sigh.

"Oh, don't think that dude!" Soos told him as they walked forward, passing through the many, many expensive luxury cars that had taken home in the large parking lot, "Mister Pines just has a way of doing things, and you see differently. That's all, bud."

"I... well, I suppose," Yuki shrugged.

Mabel stepped up next to Dipper, and their eyes met. They had a different purpose for being here, and as soon as they passed inside the automatic glass doors, the twins looked around, ready to apply their plan.

The huge space was swarming with business suits and dresses, men and woman of an older carriage, and the volume was lower. Stands and stalls were set up, displaying various businesses from local ones- such as Manly Dan's logging camp, all the way to a mega-corporation called "Steindorf and Co". Dipper, Mabel, and Yuki looked to Soos, who was of the four of them the most appropriately dressed to fit in. Then Dipper sighed- time to split up.

"Okay you guys. We'll head off that way, and you two head off that way," Dipper suggested, and the two others nodded.

"Soos, remember if you see anyone with good clothes for girls, bring me some samples!" Mabel told him with an excited wave goodbye. As the twins slowly marched away, and glanced back to see Soos and Yuki walk away together and vanish into the crowds of men and women, Dipper sighed. Mabel turned to him expectantly, "Okay, now that we're alone?"

"Yeah, okay," Dipper nodded, and pulled her over to a quiet corner in between two stalls- one advertising surveillance equipment and the other a trust fund company. "I wanted to talk about Wendy."

"Dipper, really?" Mabel sighed.

"Yes, really," Dipper told her, glancing around as he crept a finger into his jacket, and pulled out the journal, "because we've been through this exact thing before, and last time, it was directly related to this!" he indicated, pushing out the journal before Mabel.

Mabel looked from the book to her brother. It had been a week since they both overheard Wendy's strange, cryptic talk with Robbie. Dipper had become very quiet, almost secretive in the house. He and Wendy spoke less and less each day, and Mabel watched him simmer about it. It would be when she knew Dipper thought he was alone, he would then clench his fists angrily or pull at his hair. Mabel wasn't sure what was driving him crazier: the fact that he hadn't realized she was hiding something all this time, that she _was_ hiding something from them at all, or that he had no idea what to look for.

"Mabel, have you noticed anything odd about her since then?" Dipper asked.

"No dude," she shook her head. "She's the same as she's always been."

"Anything!?" he repeated, and Mabel growled at him. "Okay, okay, fine. So, maybe nothing has changed... because she's practiced hiding whatever it is away."

"Dipper," Mabel said to him, pulling her head back and glaring at the ceiling in exasperation, "look, I want to know what's up too, but this is just-"

"Mabel, this is important!" Dipper reminded her, his hands tightly pulling on the book.

"I know it is," she admitted, "but what do we have to work off of, Dip?" her brother stared at her for a moment, his eyes boring into hers as his vocal cords uttered short bursts of sound. He growled and started pacing. "See? Nothing. For all we know, she just, I don't know, really goofed with her friends and doesn't like bringing it up."

"But then why hold it a secret? And Robbie is involved? Mabel," Dipper turned to her, his eyes widening, "you told me that Wendy said Robbie left shortly after that one summer right?" Mabel nodded. "Well, the way they talked made it sound like they hadn't seen each other since then. Robbie is in on whatever she's hiding, which means- Mabel- whatever this secret is could be years old!"

"That doesn't mean anything though, bro," Mabel told him, and he sighed, leaning against the wall, his fist bouncing off the side again and again, "Dipper, I'm not saying she's not suspicious, but... we don't know anything else."

"I... I guess not," Dipper admitted, scowling at the ground now, "it just annoys me we're aware of something-"

"-but don't know what?" Mabel finished for him. "I am a little too. I thought Wendy trusted us," she added.

Dipper looked from the floor to his sister. Her eyes had lost some of that light he had come to accustom his sister with when they were out and about. Excitement? Enjoying the walks and adventures? Now she was down, and feeling the same realizations Dipper was. Why, of all people, would Wendy hide a secret from them? Dipper felt his own annoyances fall away as he felt himself responsible for downing his sister's mood. He sighed, stood away from the wall and put his hands on her shoulders.

"C'mon, we can talk more about that stuff later," he told her, "besides, we shouldn't start assuming until we get data. Otherwise we'll end up thinking she's a clone, or vampire-"

"Or a ghost?" Mabel suggested. Dipper laughed, and they turned, and ran straight into someone. "Oops! Sorry ma'am," Mabel said as they tried side-stepping around the figure. Then a hand reached down and patted them.

"Think nothing of it, my children," a silly over-dramatic tone told them. The twins gasped and looked into the face of the figure; Arline.

"Master!" Mabel declared, and hugged her quickly.

"So it would seem," Arline chuckled, and extended her arm for Dipper, to which he shook it. "Fancy seeing you two here," she added as Mabel dropped from her hug.

"Grunkle Stan's idea," Dipper told her, "something along the lines of spy-work to make sure his monopoly of stay-over-night rooms is kept in place."

"Ah. Sounds like him," Arline said with a sigh, "he sure loves that money I pay him."

"Master, where have you been?" Mabel asked as she stood next to Dipper, and the three of them took a side of the walkway around the stalls, "Dipper and I were going to learn some more from you this week, and you've kinda been... gone?"

Arline nodded and looked around, her eyes scanning around the convention. "Yeah, sorry about that you two," she stated, scratching her head as she continued to scan around, "I've just been busy recently."

"Busy?" Dipper asked.

"You shouldn't be busy!" Mabel told her master with a small snort, "you said this was vacation, and when you're really on vacation, you shouldn't have to work. It's like eating a jelly donut and taking away the jelly! Or the donut! Then it's just sticky jelly."

"At least it would still taste good," Arline pointed out and scanned around again, "yeah, uh, I did say that, didn't I?" she said to them, her eyes spotting something in the distance, "oh, well, got to run."

"Huh? Master?" Mabel asked as Arline stepped away from them, passing by a duo of well-dressed men.

"Arline?" Dipper called after her, "are you okay?"

"Yeah! I'll catch up with you two later! Why don't you two, you know, go home for the day- nothing exciting here, after all," Arline called back once over her should before darting off. The two stared at her while she ran, her pace going from a steady one to seemingly frantic and rushed.

"Did... did any of that seem normal to you?" Dipper asked Mabel as she stared off. Mabel didn't need to answer, she looked at Dipper, and then back to the direction her martial arts master had just left to. That was... strange. Arline Hirsh never rushed, not unless...

"Something's going on, Dipper," Mabel said firmly.

"Yeah, I was afraid you were going to say that," Dipper sighed and cracked his knuckles expectantly, "how bad do you think it is if she's running off without telling us?"

"That's the thing," Mabel turned to him, "I don't know. She always tells me when stuff is going on," Mabel admitted as she shook her head. She gasped and turned to Dipper, "you don't think-"

"She's hiding something too?" Dipper tried finishing for her, but he shrugged, "Mabel, I don't know her nearly as well as you. No idea."

* * *

"And we serve excellent meat products as bargain levels! Remember, if you need something to root, always think Meat-Cute!" the saleswoman proclaimed happily as Soos nodded and walked away, a sample plate in his hands. Yuki had pulled him away, better to leave the table after a solid ten minutes of Soos chatting with the woman.

"What a nice lady," Soos admitted, "maybe everyone who works at meat-cute is super cool and I never knew," he told Yuki as he shoveled a three-meat sampler burger into his mouth eagerly.

"You have met others from the company before?" Yuki inquired. Soos nodded and grinned. After swallowing, he gasped.

"Yeah! My girlfriend, Melody," Soos said.

"I do believe I overheard you mentioning a girl you are in romantic relations with," Yuki nodded and smiled, "I would love to meet her."

"Ha! Great joke, buddy," Soos laughed and nudged the alien in the arm.

"I... uh... joke?"

"Oh. She worked at Meat-Cute? And you said you wanted to 'meet' here? Get it?" Soos asked him.

"...no?" Yuki admitted, but then his eyes widened and he chuckled, "Ahhh, a play on the comparable words 'meet' and 'meat', which have identical phonetic structure- yet have two separate meanings! That is quite funny!" Yuki told Soos, who nodded eagerly and laughed with the Alien.

"See, dude! You're slowly getting it!"

"Being immersed into one of the more complicated human cultures is... difficult," Yuki admitted as they continued onward, passing several other stands. "I think the hardest aspect of all I learn is the self-contradictions."

"Oh, well, if you need to learn more about sarcasm you should ask Stan-"

"No! No," Yuki gasped and shook his head, "I can now hear sarcasm much better, thanks to my... time with Stan," Yuki grumbled as he rolled his eyes, "what I mean are the vastly different ideals and mannerisms the cultures have. Such as this-" Yuki turned and pointed to a nearby stand, advertising a group specializing in reconstructive surgery- but at bargain prices.

"What about it?" Soos asked him, chewing loudly on his next sandwich.

"You've made grand advancements in technology; able to alter appearances and even biology of individuals. Yet, then people use it to profiteer off of others needs! These discoveries," Yuki turned fully to Soos, a stark confusion, almost anger in the aliens eyes stunning Soos, "these advancements were not made for the human race to prey off itself, but to aid and grow themselves to a better day!"

"Uh... so, you don't like that it's bargain?" Soos asked, "yeah, honestly I wouldn't trust bargain lip-injects either."

"I... never mind, my friend, "Yuki sighed and turned away, looking around him. "This culture of consumption just... perplexes me."

"You sound a little more annoyed than perplexed, dawg," Soos approached him, checking on his friend, "you're okay, right?"

Yuki shrugged and shook his head. "It's just... upsetting."

There was an outcry in the crowd around them, and both men turned to see a younger blonde teenager rushing out towards them.

"Yuki-Dohth!" she waved, wearing a deep burgandy business dress.

"Hello Pacifica," Yuki waved back to her as she walked over.

"Oh, you're with the Pines servant," she acknowledged Soos with a nod, "wow, they're lending you him around now?"

"Uh... Soos?" Yuki turned to Soos, who was shoveling more food into his mouth eagerly. When the handyman simply shrugged, Yuki turned and chuckled. "No, Pacifica, he is no servant. He is a handyman."

"Really? Oh. I assumed that- huh," Pacifica stared at Soos, eying him in his outfit, "well, you've got a nice vest," Pacifica allotted to Soos. The man smiled with his full mouth and attempted replying, but couldn't budge open his lips, so full of food he may spill. "...Sure," Pacifica nodded back, and then turned to Yuki. "Yuki, I had no idea you were interested in business like this."

"Ah, well, I must admit that while I know my fair share of proper business ethic, I am not particularly drawn to it," he told Pacifica with a content smile.

"A shame to hear that," a voice called from behind Pacifica. Yuki peered past the now darkening face of Pacifica as two figures approached. The woman of the two wore a similar burgundy dress as Pacifica did, but it was tighter fitting and had gold accents. The man of the two wore a pinstripe suit, and shared the same sigil that the woman and Pacifica had sewn into their clothing- a simple gold and white 'N.W.'

"The realm of good business is always looking for capable and willing sharp young men like yourself to take up the place of retiring old geezers. Or at least to be their secretaries for most of their lives," Mister Northwest continued as he and his wife stepped up behind Pacifica, who's darkened expressed became a distant glare.

"Yes, people always need more secretaries," Miss Northwest added.

"I'm sure," Yuki nodded, and glanced to Soos. The man slowly swallowed his burger, and returned the look. Communicating merely with looks, Soos had confirmed to Yuki that these were not the kind of people that they should want to get along with. Yuki looked back and his smile dropped. "I recall you were family responsible for the talent show and carnival in town."

"As sharp as you looked. Well, at least past the borrowed second hand clothing," Miss Northwest commented with a displeased eye, looking to his hat. Yuki gulped and adjusted it ever-so-slightly, aware of his plant-like leafs hiding underneath it.

"Mom, don't be mean to him- he's not a local," Pacifica told her mother with a snap.

"Pacifica!" her mother gasped.

"Mind your tone, young lady," Mister Northwest stated firmly, and Pacifica looked to the ground. "You must forgive my daughter," Northwest told Yuki, "actually, you don't have to. _Not_ forgiving her would probably do her good in the long run."

"Oh, yes, that would probably do," Miss Northwest tagged onto with her husband with a small chuckle.

"Excuse me," Yuki stepped forward, "but I do not agree."

Pacifica's eyes shot wide and she looked to Yuki. His face was plain and unaltered by emotion. He was merely looking at her parents, and she turned as well. Her mother had frozen in place, looking at the dark-skinned 'boy' before her with such shock. Mister Northwest's eyebrow rose up and he stared back.

"Now, what on earth would prompt you to say that?" Mister Northwest asked him.

"Pacifica's tone was not threatening, and she merely attempted to correct a derogatory tone towards a fellow _human_ you were speaking to," Yuki made particular emphasis when mentioning himself, "and such behavior is morally appropriate. In fact, if I were to be so bold, your own economic status merely conveys a condescending nature to which others would regard as 'snobbish'."

The parents Northwests stared at him further. Miss Northwest blinked and looked to her husband, as if she had been just dropped from a trance. Preston Northwest, however, squinted his eyes and gave a short, curt grunt in reply. He passed by Pacifica, who worriedly looked between Yuki and her father.

"Dad, don't-"

"Be quiet, Pacifica," he told her as he leaned down, his tall persona giving him leverage as he looked into Yuki's eyes. "Tell me, my young foreigner; do you even have the slightest inkling as to who I am?"

Yuki stared back, aware of the tactic the man before him was using. Yet, he grinned. This man before him was probably half his age. "More than you think, Preston." The man blinked, and Yuki felt his advantage, to which he pressed forward. "I know you carry six puppies with you and your wife to bed every night, and you distribute the puppies to your servants every night- because you seek 'fresh' ones the next day. I know you keep Seven full-bred dogs at your manor; one for each week, and one extra for Pacifica. You have thirty five luxury cars, one first-class private jet, forty-nine employees you pay minimum wage, a small personal zoo, a large pool, personal theatre, and more."

"But that's not all I know," Yuki took a half step closer, ready to test his studies of human intimidation tactics, "I know you. I know your family, and what it is you fear. I know the people you have scammed, the money you have laundered, the things you have stolen: in the past and even now. I've had the opportunity to learn every single fact about your family down to the details of what you prefer to have for breakfast. Which, by the way, is one ostrich egg, sunny side up, with a plate of imported Belgium sausages."

Pacifica's mouth had fallen open. Her mother was staring fearfully at the 'young man' before his husband, staring at him like he may carry a plague. Mister Northwest's eyes had grown wider and wider until the point they may have well just taken up his entire face. He slowly stood back up, his hands falling to his side.

"Now, please have a good day," Yuki added with a too-polite smile to the parents.

"Uh, Dear," Preston Northwest turned to his wife, "let's go say hello to Omir, shall we? The old coot probably wants to know our stance on his next big move towards researching better vacuums."

"Of course!" Miss Northwest gladly agreed, and the two marched away stiffly.

"Yuki, you rock dude," Soos patted his back, and Yuki sighed.

"I wish I wouldn't have to," he sad sadly as he watched them go, "their impasse of intolerance is what drives me to correct them. A remind such as that," Yuki turned to Soos, who frowned and stared at Yuki's words, "will keep them away for now."

"How did you know all of that?" Pacifica asked him, no louder than a whisper. Yuki turned to her, and then looked worriedly to Soos. The handyman shrugged; he wasn't any better at lying than he was, and as much as it pained Yuki to do so, lying was the best way to keep himself, and her, safe.

"Ah... I had to, at one point, uh, you know, do a study, yes! It was regarding the wealth of American richest families," Yuki smiled and nodded. "And your family came up at one point!"

"Oh," Pacifica nodded, frowning. Yuki watched her as she stared at him. There was some sort of clockwork going on behind those eyes, and Yuki wondered if he hadn't given a good enough excuse. Then she burst out laughing, and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "That was amazing!"

"O-oh!?" he asked.

"I think the last time my dad was that stunned was when I let in the entire town to a party!" Pacifica told him, clutching the sides of his arms, "oh man, I hope I have a chance to see that face again."

"I'm sure you'll remember it clearly," Yuki told her with a small grin, "you strike me as being much smarter than your parents, Pacifica," he said, and he smile grew much wider as he chuckled.

Yuki's words hit Pacifica hard. Her eyes softened and her gaze became unfocused. His smile, happy and well-meaning, shook and trembled when she stared at him a tad longer than he had become accustomed to; at least for normal situations. This was strange. He gulped and looked back.

"Pacifica?" he asked.

"Yes?" she replied in a lost, soft voice.

"Are you well?" he inquired, and she blinked and pulled herself away. She was brushing her dress smooth, and looked around. Yuki could swear he saw red in her cheeks, and he worried for her. "Oh! Are you feeling ill?"

"What?"

"Your cheeks are flushed," he pointed out, and Pacifica gasped, clapping two hands to her face, "fret not," he continued, "if you are feeling 'below the weather'," he said with fingers acting as quotes, "you should find a seat, and remain calm. Having a healthy, optimistic outlook on things can improve immune response in humans up to, in some cases, fifty percent!"

"I- oh, wow," Pacifica said, and then turned away for a moment. As Yuki and Soos stared, they could swear she was muttering something under her breath- snibbits of short sentences, similar to that of re-assurances and reminders of ability and prowess. Then she turned around, and the flush was gone, "so, what brings you two here?"

"Stanley Pines," Yuki told her with pursed lips.

"Oh, Mabel and Dipper's grand uncle. Why's he sending you here?" she asked.

"He fears for the safety of his economic stability should another rival company make a building in town for hotels of nicer quality than his," Yuki blatantly said.

"Makes sense," Pacifica shrugged. "My parents wanted to come and meet up with some friends of theirs- rich and powerful types, and then show me off like some toy," she added with a touch of disdain.

"You're not a toy though," Soos told her, "you're a real person!"

"I didn't actually mean like a toy, "she said to him with a snap, and then looked back to Yuki, "they're excited that Zander Maximillion is still in town."

"Who?" Yuki asked. Soos prodded the back of his head. "Huh?" Yuki turned, and Soos tapped his foot and looked at him expectantly. "Oh. Oh! Yes! The musician!" Yuki spun back, nodding his head rapidly. "Yes! I... I had no idea he was still here."

"Me neither," Soos told Yuki, his eyes widened.

"He's moved into the old Gleeful home. No one wanted to buy it after what happened three years ago, so he grabbed it and moved in five days ago. And... I," Pacifica shook her head and closed her eyes, "have to take music lessons from him."

"What?" Soos gasped, and almost dropped his plate of food.

"Yeah. My parents want me to know more than just piano, violin, harp, flute, and a bit of guitar," she told Yuki. Yuki glanced to Soos, who was breathing heavily, shocked at Pacifica's news.

"Y-you mean he's offering classes?!" Soos asked her.

"I don't think so. It sounded like my dad asked him for a favor or something, and now I have to take classes with him on... I don't even know, honestly," Pacifica admitted with a huff. "Not looking forward to it."

"You should be!" Soos exclaimed. "Learning from Zander Maximillion!? The greatest rock-artist in the past ten years!? And you get private lessons from him!?"

"Yeah, sounds like a drag," she told them. Yuki snorted loudly and shook his head.

"No, no, Pacifica, you mustn't look at it like that," Yuki pleaded of her, "clearly you have the ability to learn multiple complicated instruments, and the ability to still use them," he continued, that same warm smile growing on his face, "you must see this as a chance to learn from a much more-"

"Talented?" she asked, cutting Yuki off with a mild bark. He blinked and shook his head.

"Experienced," he continued. Pacifica lowered her gaze and bit her lip, and Yuki continued, "I know it must be frustrating to live up to the expectations of your parents: trust me- my father put me on... oh," Yuki stalled himself, remembering not to bring up his real past stories, "uh, a science team back in, uh, Japan... yeah, and I wasn't sure I was ready for it."

"Why then did you do it?" Pacifica asked him.

"Because I didn't do it for him," he answered, "I did it for me. My father being pleased was just a side-note." Pacifica frowned, and looked away, and Yuki nodded. "I would understand your hesitation to compliment your parents efforts. But this is a chance for _you_, and only for you in the end," Yuki told her.

"I... I guess so," she said as she started to spin away.

"Pacifica," Yuki said to her once more, and she whipped back to look at him, "it was nice to see you again."

Pacifica nodded and started to turn away. Her blue eyes stared to him as she spun away, almost falling on her own legs as she left, and then hurriedly walked away. Yuki watched her go, shaking his head.

"Well, I do hope she finds a quiet, calm place to rest," he said aloud. Next to him, someone began to chuckle and snort. Soos was giggling, holding his hand to his mouth and looking at Yuki. "What?" he asked, and then re-traced his most recent choice words. "I don't recall making any for of metaphor or alliteration."

"It's okay, dawg. I think you just made her day, that's all," Soos told him.

"Guys!"

Soos and Yuki turned around. Dipper and Mabel were peeling through the crowds, passing by those in suits and dresses. When they rushed over, Soos shoved the last sandwich into his mouth and greeted them with a stuffed sounding select words.

"Hi to you too, Soos!" Mabel cheerfully replied.

"So then," Yuki asked them as he watched Dipper catch his breath, "what brought you two here in such awful haste?"

"We- we-"

"-Ran into my master," Mabel said, leaning in closer with wide eyes, "and she was acting really weird."

"Huh," Soos nodded, his arms crossed as he chewed, "like weird as in 'sounded off', or weird as in 'was changing colors'?"

"Sounded off," Dipper answered as he stood up and groaned. "She kept looking around like she was expecting to see someone, and then she just suddenly left us alone."

"Correct me, if I may be wrong," Yuki asked Mabel, "but your master, Arline, is not one for business gatherings like this?"

"Not at all. She thinks people who always dress up in suits look silly," Mabel explained, "and she doesn't like offices."

"Which is why we thought it was odd she was here at all," Dipper furthered, "but then she ran off without explanation, and it looked like she may be tracking someone or something," he added.

"You know, if I hadn't know otherwise, I would say that danger and odd circumstances do gravitate towards you two, as Pacifica Northwest stated," Yuki pointed out.

"Hey-" Dipper grumbled.

"Did you run into her?" Mabel asked. Yuki made to speak, but Dipper cut him off.

"We'll catch up later. Soos, Yuki, I think if the woman who jumps at giant spiders like it was her day job is nervous, we should be too. I think we should start looking around for someone or something suspicious, and then figure out what it is they're up to," Dipper announced.

"And if they're dangerous?" Yuki asked.

"Keep a distance. If they spot you, just find the rest of us," Dipper suggested.

"It's busy though," Mabel pointed out, "so start making a whole lot of noise if you need to."

"Uh... yeah," Dipper looked from his sister to the others, "I don't know about that, but try finding us, or at least someone who's going to help out. Just be careful. If Arline is nervous about something-"

"-We should be too," Mabel finished.

The four gave a simultaneous glance around. With all the numbers of older men and woman walking around them, and the low buzz in the air, it was a strange feat at all that nothing had been noticed so far. Yet, with the evidence still suggesting that they had a job to do, they nodded to each other, and split. Dipper and Mabel started walking deeper into the convention while Soos and Yuki turned and traced after Pacifica's direction.

This was the trickier part of the search. While, granted, Dipper and Mabel were beginning to notice a trend of those who seemed in place and those who did not, the problem soon arose that there was no one else that broke the established norm aside from the twins. If they were here for the convention, they wore business suits and were well groomed. If they weren't wearing suits, dresses, nor particularly done up well, they were clearly labeled security and stood by doors and particular stands. Only Dipper and Mabel seemed to be out of place, and they began to worry.

"You'd think that we'd see if even one person was walking around with just a T-shirt and jeans," Dipper grumbled as he pushed his way past a large group, "or even see Arline again!"

"Dipper, I've been seeing those security guards," Mabel turned around and pointed, "and I've been thinking- what if whoever or whatever's here is behind the scenes?"

"The scenes?" Dipper repeated.

"You know, in the kitchens, and offices, and back-hallways and stuff," Mabel shrugged.

Dipper spied over in the direction she pointed to. Nearby several bathrooms, a duo of large security guards, both wearing the trademark dark clothing, stood with their arms behind their backs by a pair of doors. Dipper managed to see just a little past the doors, where as Mabel said, it lead to a long blank hallway. He had no idea what would be behind those doors, but it was worth checking.

"You think the bathrooms have a vent-shaft that'll lead inside without them noticing?" Dipper suggested. Mabel grinned, and he mirrored her quickly. They plan was already set. "Split up at the bathrooms, then?"

"I'll take the girls side, and you take the boys," she nodded to him and the marched. Mabel darted ahead, and Dipper took his time, scanning the guards as he walked over. The both were big, bad locals he had seen occasionally. One was heavily tattooed, and the other was one of the bikers who enjoyed stopping by town. They were clearly bored out of their mind, and didn't even notice Dipper as he continuously stared at them, hoping they wouldn't suddenly have the urge to use the bathroom. However, Dipper wasn't watching where he was going, and ran into a strong body.

"Oof!"

"Oh, my," a deep, soft voice uttered as Dipper stumbled back, "are you alright, my boy?"

Dipper shook himself, and looked up. The man before him had deep, dark skin of a chocolate color, with bright amber eyes that stared hopefully at Dipper. Bags and wrinkles under his eyes told Dipper this man was older, probably around Grunkle Stan's age.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to run into-"

"Oh, no harm done, my friend," the old man chuckled easily and patted Dipper, who was rubbing his nose. When he had run into the old man, it had felt like it was wall of stone. Dipper scanned the man, and found him easily one of the best dressed men in the entire convention. Deep violet suit and pants were trimmed with silver and steel, and he wore a magnificent mildly patterned bow-tie. He then reached out and looked to Dipper. "Ah, you're the boy who stood up with the girl- against the beast."

"What?" Dipper asked, "oh- oh the spider, yeah."

"You must be remarkably brave if you're willing to stand up to something that science has yet to even discover!" the old man patted his shoulder, "and now I find you here? You know," the man leaned down to him, his eyes twinkling as he moved to Dipper, "there are only a few people I've ever met with the kind of courage you displayed."

"Oh... thanks," Dipper nodded, uncertain how to take the sudden praise. The man bent up and laughed.

"Modest? And brave? Ha!" he said with hearty boom of his voice, "so there is hope for the generations of today. Young man, could you let this old man know your name?" The old man asked, extending his hand. Dipper stared at it for a moment, rushing through his mind to quickly make a decision. There was a chance, a very, very small chance, that this man could be related to the activity that had Arline nervous. Yet as Dipper stared at him, he found no malice behind the faint grin and his darkened skin.

"Dipper," he told him, "Dipper Pines."

"A pleasure to meet you, Mister Pines," the man told him, a pleased smile growing as he winked. "My name is Omir. Omir Steindorf."

"Nice to meet you sir," Dipper shook the hand as he took it. Mister Steindorf again chuckled and nodded to the young man.

"Mannered, polite, brave- my word, you're just a bag of surprises, aren't you, Mister Pines?" he said with as he stood up. "Well, I won't keep you too long. I'm sure you were heading to the bathrooms for a reason?"

"Y-yeah," Dipper nodded, and side-stepped around the older man. "Nice to meet you, sir," Dipper added as he stepped inside. Omir Steindorf chuckled as he turned away, leaving Dipper to walk inside.

Once he stepped inside the surprisingly empty restroom, Dipper looked around. A row of cleaned stalls awaited him, along with entirely unused sinks. Then there, at the far end of the bathroom, Dipper found a vent. At the meeting corner of the wall and ceiling, it stood just above the sink counters by about three feet, being a good seven feet off the ground. Dipper marched over, and looked back once before committing to his action. He just hoped no one would come in as he climbed through.

He stepped onto the counter and pushed up, ready to pull at the metal grate. To his shock, the metal grate fell and swung side-to-side, already entirely loose. Dipper looked at it, and then stared at the vent. Three screws to the four corners where missing.

No coincidences. Someone had already come by this way. Possibly recently.

"Hey!"

Dipper froze. Footsteps were approaching him, and he slowly turned. A man in a business suit approached him, slicked back black hair and sharp eyes investigating Dipper as he stared at the vent.

"What's going on here?" he asked.

"Uh..." Dipper looked around, "I'm... a handyman."

"You?"

"Yes. Me. I was, uh," Dipper pointed to the vent, "going through standard proceedure sweeps of the air-conditioning vents, and I spotted this one. So, uh, I'm going to fix it."

The man's eyebrows rose and stayed perched in the middle of his forehead. Dipper prayed that his recollection of Soos's minor teaching would pay off. He had no idea if anything he said made much sense- all he had to do was convince this person that it did. Finally, the man shrugged.

"Sorry. You just looked a little young to be... hired," the man pointed out, and turned towards one of the stalls.

"Yeah," Dipper grumbled as the man disappeared behind the door, "I get that a lot."

With a grunt and huff, Dipper pushed off the counter and began to wriggle his way into the vent. Twist by twist he began to pull himself through the dusty darkness. It smelled of hair and fabric, as he saw many strands of collected hair bundled and bunched up on corners of metal and screws. He held his breath passing them, not wanting to choke to death on the collected remains of someone's hair. Then, finally as he made a turn to the right, he found the exit, and gasped. That vent had also been unscrewed: this time entirely left open.

Dipper pulled himself out and landed on the floor expertly, silently thanking Mabel for her training. Then, from a corner, he heard a whisper. Mabel was there, waving him over.

"Now, time for the _Mission: Mostly Not Likely_ music," Mabel said as she and her brother were re-united and began to walk down the hallway. Dipper kept his head at standard level, looking back and forth down the barren hallway, his eyes staring at the piping above him on the ceiling. Mabel, however, got into her spy-persona, and began to avidly creep about the hallway, bounding from side to side with quick steps. She remained close to the ground, half-crouched as she bounded up her arms close to her sides, and peeped around a corner. Dipper heard her gasp, and watched her pull her head back around, eyes wide.

"What?" he asked. Mabel, with wide eyes that could easily be the size of a small saucer cup, pointed her thumb over her shoulder. Dipper leaned past her, and peered down the hall.

A lone figure, draped in a single long jacket with a hood stood at the end, reading into something resembling a scroll. The hood was down, and the tall figure hand thin, gangly appearance. As he looked through the scroll, Dipper immediately recognized the person.

"Warlock!" Dipper gasped as he pulled himself back behind the corner.

"What do you think he's doing here?!" Mabel asked him worriedly.

"There are powerful people here, and he's got magic," Dipper thought out loud in a whisper just loud enough for Mabel to hear, "maybe he's going to try blackmailing them or something. You know, learn their secrets, and then get cash from them?"

"The scoundrel!" Mabel declared.

"Or, what if he's actually going to try kidnapping them for some nefarious purpose?!" Dipper added.

"The double scoundrel!"

"Or what if he's going to try killing them here for some even worse purpose!?"

"The huge jerk, mega-horrible-scoundrel!"

Dipper nodded and shared a meaningful glance with his sister. This man had tried, and failed, more than three times to do him and his sister in. Spells, giant spider, poltergeists, werewolves; this man was a determined and mean-spirited jerk of a human. The twins shared a single, united thought: this man needed to be stopped before whatever plan he had was carried out. They shared a look between their eyes, and knew exactly what was going to happen. They then nodded, and stepped out and marched down the hallway, side by side.

"Warlock!" Dipper called.

The man gasped and fumbled the scroll in his hands. Shoving it away under his jacket, he whipped around and stared. "No... you!" he growled as the two marched towards him.

"Times up, jerkwad," Dipper told him.

"No more trying to get us hurt or killed from the sides," Mabel added, "we're for you- here and now, ya meanie."

The warlock stared at them, his eyes widening as he stared at them during their approach. His face broke into sweats, and then he grinned. Without another word, he whipped around and ran. The twins made no sound as they followed suit, chasing after the warlock as he darted away.

Through a pair of open double-doors the man flew, and the twins followed suit. The found themselves in the kitchen. The workers and cooks inside stared after the Warlock, who had already made it half way across the entire room, which spanned nearly a hundred feet. Dipper and Mabel saw the warning signs before the attacks happened. The Warlock had raised his hands, and a faint glow shone from his palms. Knives, heated pans, pitchers of boiling water all rose from the hands of the workers and drifted into the air. All the workers began to panic and flee, screaming "Witchcraft!" and "The end times are here!" as they fled.

"G-get lost!" the Warlock roared as he then threw his hands forward. The hail of knives and dangerous tools soared through the air.

Mabel easily wove her way past the soaring objects. They moved in easily predictable straight lines that she read as easy as a line of text from her favorite song. Dipper, since his training with Mabel, followed suit, focusing his thoughts to track and dodge the danger as he advanced next to Mabel, jumping, leaning away, spinning aside, and rolling forward to avoid the coming danger.

The twins shocked the Warlock, who gasped and started stepping back, using that old trick of telekinesis to throw more and more objects at them. The grew larger and larger, becoming rolling pins, and then kettles, and then entire stoves. Each time the twins would evade the danger, and continue after him, and the Warlock's appearance grew more and more desperate, his blonde hair falling past his eyes as he turned and ran for his life.

With no more objects to be thrown at him, the twins hurtled onward, ready and willing to catch up with their deranged and dangerous foe. Through another pair of double doors he plowed through, and into the main convention he darted.

Mabel and Dipper followed suit, and easily traced him through the destruction he wrought. Knocking people over, tossing over tables as he jumped on them- nothing would get in this man's way as he dashed for his life away from the twins, who made it their priority not to loose track of him. While the Warlock was fast and very agile, he was not concealing himself by any means. Shouting for people to move aside and get out of his way, he pushed and shoved his way across the entire floor as the twins chased after him.

Finally, with a powerful telekinesis spell, he threw aside two guards and hurtled through a second area of the back-hallways. Dipper and Mabel, though wanting to check on the hurt people behind them, carried on, their feet pounding against the hard floors. They saw the warlock turn down a hallway, and they followed. There and then they found him trapped. He had turned to a hallway that lead to an elevator some fifty feet ahead, and he stood in place, facing away.

"Give it up, warlock," Dipper told him.

"Yeah! Your 'running from people younger than you' days are over and through!" Mabel added.

"You th-th-think so, do you?" The Warlock asked, turning slowly, reaching inside his jacket.

"Don't think so!" Dipper shouted, and bolted forward.

His feet pressed hard against the tiled floors, propelling himself closer with each step. Mabel was right behind him, her gasps catching Dipper off-guard as they watched ahead. The Warlock had retrieved that same scroll and whipped it out and unfurled it. The long paper whipped majestically around him like a coiling serpent. Without another warning, the Warlock roared with laughter, and slammed both his hands onto the paper and shoved it against the ground.

"Unbound! Be free of earthly grip! Be taken away from my sight!"

As he shouted these words, he reached out to a pipe next to the elevator behind him and grasped tightly. What followed next shocked the twins, and the entire convention.

The scroll, covered in runes and huge cryptic verses, glowed bright blue. Then, as Dipper realized as he soared at a fast rate towards the ceiling, all gravity fell away.

Mabel too gasped as she and her brother found themselves falling to the ceiling. Unprepared for the impact of falling eight feet upwards, the slammed into the ceiling and gasped, clutching at their sides, shoulders or legs. Their shock and pain was not enough to drown out the taunting laugh of the Warlock, who stared up at them from the floor, which to the twins, was now the ceiling.

"Fools!" he shouted, "as if I'd l-l-let you get as close as this without a t-t-trick up my sleeve!" he grinned. "Now, do me a favor, and stay th-there while I just finish our little war, sh-sh-shall I?"

Dipper and Mabel looked up to him, trying to re-adjust to the strong forces of the gravitational shift. His free hand slowly let itself go from the grip of the pipe next to the elevator, and in it, Dipper saw a spiraling ball of what seemed to be black flame.

"This t-time," the Warlock told them, "we say g-g-g-goodbye for-"

A loud, running pair of feet echoed from the end of the hall, and the Warlock turned. Dipper and Mabel also peered around to see a figure darting towards them. Running along the ceiling like a true ninja, a golden-haired woman with sharp green eyes rushed closer. The Warlock gasped and seemed to panic- the spell he had been preparing for Dipper and Mabel was unleashed on the approaching figure.

The human attacker leapt into the air from the ceiling and she crossed her arms together. From under her jacket, Arline's strange arm-guards created sparks, and fire erupted around her hands. Mabel and Dipper gasped as the black fireball shot out towards her, and she didn't even try to avoid it. As she landed back to the ceiling, she wove her arms around and re-navigated the fireball to fly past her and hit the wall, where it exploded into deep-violet sparks.

The Warlock snarled and lifted his hand from the scroll. Dipper, Mabel, and Arline all fell from the ceiling and hit the floor roughly. As the elevator beeped and opened behind him, the Warlock stood up quickly and raced inside. "Th-this isn't over, Pines!"

Arline shot up in a single vault upwards. By the time she raced to the doors, they had closed, and the elevator raced upwards. She roared angrily, slamming her fist into the metal of the elevator doors before her, leaving a surprisingly large dent for the size of her fist. Turning around, she found the twins staring at her, eyes wide and in shock.

"Guys," she began, her voice leveling as they looked to her.

"Arline," Dipper merely got out. Mabel was the one who truly sounded hurt as she spoke.

"You're not really here for vacation, are you, master?" Mabel asked, her strong pose faltering as she looked to her Master. Arline opened her mouth to reply, but the sight of her pupil so let down and hurt was powerful and draining. She only could make small grunts, and then purse her lips together as she shook her head.

* * *

You know what they say about Gravity Falls?

Trust no one.

Got pretty exciting at the end there, didn't it? The Warlock makes his return to the stage as the villain of the story! And we've got a lot of hints of suggestions in this chapter as well. Zander? In Gravity Falls? It's more likely than you think.

Also- I just wanted to let you all know how absolutely honored I am to have the fans and readers I get for this story. You guys are seriously super supportive, helpful, understanding, eager, and always willing to tell me when I goof up. Reading the reviews you leave me always makes me super stoked and makes me think I'm doing more than just writing some crazy fan-fiction on my computer. So, I just wanted to say thanks again. This story is getting more reviews each week, and I can't confess my excitement enough.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed the first half of the episode "The Warlock Returns", and I'll see you guys- (The warlock bursts into EZB's room angrily.) WHOA, hold up, fella!

The Warlock: N-n-not today, stupid! (The Warlock casts the black flames onto EZB, which instantly charcoal him and turn him into a charred skeleton.)


	34. The Warlock Returns: Part 2

"Ow! Dude, rough stuff!" Soos grumbled as he started to stand back up, pushing himself up from the floor.

Yuki stood as well, and helped Soos stand up as he glanced around. It hadn't just been them; the entire convention for a brief moment had suddenly lurched into the air, and then plummeted back down. People left and right were checking on their close companions, ensuring that everyone was healthy and safe. Booths and stands alike had their merchandise lift and fall just as those around them had.

"Earthquake," someone nearby muttered.

"I've heard the west coast has the occasional stutter like that," another replied.

Yet Soos nudged Yuki's arm. "Dude, I don't think it was an earthquake." Yuki turned and looked around, studying the damage. "Like, I've felt earthquakes before. But I've also felt what just happened a few times."

"I can't help but agree," Yuki nodded, and stared at the ceiling, where several strands of fabric from the booths around them had become caught. "The amount of dispersion and the lack of tremors discounts an earthquake."

"Yeah, I was afraid you'd agree with me dude," Soos gulped.

"Yuki!"

The alien spun around, and spotted the frantic figure of Pacifica Northwest, her eyes wide as she bumped into people desperately as she struggled her way closer.

"Pacifica, are you well?" Yuki asked, leaning into her as she made it over.

"What happened?" she demanded of the two of them, "that wasn't an earthquake!"

"Oh wow, someone else is on our level," Soos chuckled, and then noticed Pacifica's glare. "What? I'm agreeing with you girl."

"Right. Where's Dipper and Mabel?" Pacifica asked them. The two looked between one another and shrugged. "I bet you they're involved with whatever just happened. They always are."

"Sadly, I would agree. And what just happened," Yuki looked about, and sniffed the air, "was a Gravitational lapse."

"Huh?" the two nearby grunted.

"A momentary lapse in Gravitational forces- acting as an equalization of the forces that connect us to the large pull of the planet," Yuki noted, holding his hands up, "as you can smell, the air is now thick with course dust."

"Oh. I thought someone just had a bad fart," Soos shrugged. Pacifica retched and stepped away from him, to Yuki.

"What could cause that?" she asked him, "maybe some sort of crazy technology?"

"Yes. However," Yuki turned and stared out the front doors, mostly un-obscured by the crowds, "there is peace beyond the borders of this building. Which means it was a local event. Something triggering this level of specificity in a sphere of Gravitational influence can be likely be one of two things-"

"Your people?" Soos asked. Yuki's dark skin went a bright shade of pink, and he stared pointedly at Soos, "oh, uh, like, I mean the Japanese?" Pacifica looked between the two of them, but seemed not to notice Yuki's frantic sigh.

"Or... something else," Yuki stroked his chin, "perhaps... Soos," he fully faced Soos, "the Warlock, from before, his magic; could it create a Gravitational Lapse like this?"

"Dude... you got me," Soos shook his head.

From the speakers nailed to the walls, a loud audio test blared, and had the crowds around flinch and shudder. Then, from the main stage across the convention floor, three figures took the center. A tall, deeply dark skinned man with a particularly nice bow-tie stood by a microphone stand, and held it to his mouth, better to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the man said, "please do not be alarmed. Gravity Falls is not alone in it's history for the occasional hiccup. Small earthquakes do occasionally happen, but I am assured by our local friends, the Northwests," the bald man wove a hand next to him, indicating the well dressed husband and wife, "that this is not something to fret about. You are perfectly safe, and will be for the duration of the convention. Please, go back to your regular routine. Thank you."

"I would advise against such actions," Yuki quietly said to his comrades, "this was anything but ordinary."

"Yeah. Made my stomach all weird and gurgly. So it's totally not good," Soos informed them casually. "Who was that guy anyway?"

"Mister Steindorf, the head and brains of the Steindorf Company," Pacifica said easily, "he, my parents, and a few of the bigger companies here, decided together that Gravity Falls would be a great location for this sort of thing."

"I've heard of Omir Steindorf," Yuki admitted. "His family has passed down the ownership of the company for nearly two hundred years."

"Oh- wow- you've done your research, Yuki," Pacifica grinned.

"I, uh, yes. You know, I study a lot of American... things," Yuki told her with a shaky grin. Pacifica giggled, and Yuki sighed. She would be pacified by the information, and he looked back to the stage. His eyes fixed on the man of the convention, and realized he had turned and was speaking to the Northwests in what appeared to be furious, hushed tones. While Yuki knew his strength had increased due to the adaptation to Earth's atmosphere, his senses had not. He wondered what precisely they were debating on the back steps of the stage.

"Hey, dude," Soos suddenly was leaning next to Yuki, his tall figure bent over as he spoke in a quiet tone, "that's probably not good."

"What?"

"The Northwests," Soos pointed out. "I wasn't there for it, but the last time something like this went down and the Northwests were involved, I heard they nearly let everything get destroyed. We should probably get Dipper and Mabel and tell them they're acting all weird and stuff."

"My parents," Pacifica stepped before them, her hands balled up at her hips, "are not up to anything!"

"Yeah, but dude, how can we really trust you?" Soos asked her, "you may be like a hundred times nicer than your mom and dad, but you still live with them."

"A thousand times is more like it," Pacifica snapped back at Soos. He gave her comment some thought, and then wiggled his hand through the air, giving her statement a barely passing admittance. She continued, "and if they were up to anything, I'd know about it."

"So, you know nothing then?" Yuki asked.

"If there's one thing my parents like, it's to brag. They may think I'm a bad apple off the tree, but they still tell me when they stiff someone from a good deal," she told them, and then shook her head, "this isn't one of those times."

* * *

"Damn," the golden haired woman growled as her fingers pried at the elevator buttons, "the whole system's been shut down." Arline put her hand against the doors of the elevator before her and groaned. "Might as well find another way-" she turned around, and found the twins glaring up at her. "Oh...yeah."

"Arline, what the heck is going on here?!" Dipper demanded, his voice rising with each word. The master martial artist looked from Dipper to Mabel, who's eyes shone as she stared at her master, a piece of trust broken in two.

"Now's not the time to get into details," Arline quietly said, starting to walk forward, towards the twins, "we need to go-"

"Not until you explain to us what's up," Dipper demanded, stepping between her and the hallway. She stopped, and let out an short sighed.

"Dipper, please. I can't talk about this now."

"You were tracking the warlock while he was here," Dipper told her, not dropping his eyes from her, "like you knew he was here. You don't care about big money people, which means you knew _before us_, "Dipper pointed out verbally, "and you hadn't told us! Which means you've been hiding something about this from us!"

"Well, that last one is sort of a stretch," Arline crossed her arms together, looking back at Dipper.

"Prove me wrong," Dipper demanded. Arline's mouth fell open and she gave a small, shocked chuckle.

"Dipper? Really? This is me we're talking about here."

"Arline, I've only known you for a few weeks. If there's someone you want to tell that too, it's my sister," he reminded her.

Arline's gaze faltered from strength and looked to Mabel. The brunette student of Arline stared at the ground now, the boundless energy, trust, and excitement washed away. When Arline shook her head, her mouth sealed, Dipper groaned and spun away.

"C'mon Mabel," Dipper said, putting a hand to his sister's shoulder, "we should get going. The Warlock could still be up to something-"

"His name is Graupner."

Dipper spun around and Mabel's head darted up. Arline's gaze was neutral and unaffectionate. Walking over to the twins, she leaned against the wall ran a hand through her hair.

"I'll be honest," she started, "I had hoped to keep you two from the truth, because, well, it's very dangerous. This isn't something that people should know," Arline said, turning her gaze to her left, towards the twins.

"Master, please," Mabel asked, "level with us."

Arline chuckled, amused with Mabel's eternal ability to provide her humor. The martial artist nodded and leaned onto her shoulder, now facing the twins. With a brief closing of her eyes, she nodded in agreement.

"Dipper, Mabel knows that I practice a type of martial arts called 'the paths', and that I walk the path of fire," Arline told him, and then looked between them both, "but there are responsibilities once you take the paths. You see, the paths don't give power to those who just wish to use it for their wishes. You have to create balance and prosperity."

"Balance?" Mabel asked.

"Prosperity?" Dipper repeated.

"If you don't, the paths can crumble. You see, the energy we use, those of the path use, is a form of life-energy. It's inside us all. But that's not the only power out there," she added with a dark undertone, her eyes hardening, "and the most dangerous and versatile of them is called 'arcane'."

"You mean magic?" Dipper repeated, and then shrugged, "well, we know about Magic. That's nothing too crazy."

"You think bending the rules of physics is easy?" Arline asked Dipper, who's confident grin faltered. "We're dealing with a man who's not only good at what he trains with, but loves it's power, cherishes it's destructive potential. Arcane power has no limit to what it can do, and your warlock, Graupner Kinley, will stop at nothing to use it for his gains."

"And what are those?" Mabel stepped closer.

Arline sighed and shook her head. "That's what I'm here to do. Well, that and one other thing," she added, "stopping him from hurting anyone else."

"How do you know all of this? All about him?" Dipper began to ask, "where did he come from? How did he learn all of this?"

"Hold on, hold on," Arline rolled her eyes, "one at a time, okay? So... part of my duties as a teacher of the paths is to ensure balance. Well, Graupner, or as you know him, the Warlock, has been changing that. He's using his powers to hurt and scare people, and I can't let that happen. I've had to keep an eye on his movements around the country."

"Around the country?" Mabel gasped, "he's been around!"

"Yeah. Gravity Falls was his most recent stop, but he is sticking around," Arline's eyes squinted as she pressed passed the twins, looking down the hallway, something in her minds eye as she stared off, "something he wants he can't find anywhere else is around."

"What?" Dipper asked. Arline turned, and shrugged. "You don't know?"

"Not everything," she admitted, "I'm here to stop him from hurting people, and if I find out what's keeping him here, all the better to stop him," she said. There was a heat in her eyes and power behind her words that commanded Dipper and Mabel to listen. She sounded more formal than she had in her entire stay in Gravity Falls. Then as she stared, that energy lowered, and they found themselves facing the same woman they had knew for a few weeks. "I wanted to tell you, I did," she admitted.

"Why didn't you?" Mabel asked, walking to her and holding her hand. "Why keep this from us? From me?"

"Because I'm afraid what will happen after we get him," she admitted.

Mabel shrugged and chuckled. "Hah. We've stared death in the face a few times. Heck- we've even had battles against actual demons! So the whole 'let's jump into danger without knowing all the doodads', that's nothing new for us."

"Yup, sounds about right," Dipper nodded, "half the time we don't know half as much as we think."

Arline let out a loud belly-laugh, holding her hands over her eyes. Her echoing amusement effected the twins, who grinned and smiled to each other. A few moments afterwards, calming down from her great amusement, Arline wiped her eyes and stared hopefully to the twins.

"I can't pretend that this isn't dangerous," she told them, her smile not going away, "but I think if there was anyone I knew here I would trust to get through this all without being hurt, it would be you two."

"If not, that's why people sell band-aids for!" Mabel declared, and reached into her pants pocket, withdrawing an assortment of colorful neon band-aids. "They just need to make them scratch and sniff quality, and I've got a new collection to add to my scrapbook."

"Okay, that's kind of gross," Dipper told her. Mabel shrugged, and turned to her master.

"So, what's next?" she asked, and Arline turned. A nod of her head beckoned the twins to follow.

"We should meet up with your friends," Arline told them as she marched away quickly, "and prepare them for what may be coming."

"You're going to tell them stuff too?" Mabel asked with an excited grin.

"No!" Arline whipped around, those blue eyes wide with fear. When the twins blinked and stepped back, she relaxed. "Sorry. No, I can't. Guys," she rubbed the back of her elbow absentmindedly, "it's bad enough you two know why I'm here now, but if others started to figure out what's going on..."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Dipper suggested, a small grin portraying his shaken confidence. Arline shook her head, and slowly turned back.

"The more people know about what it is I do, the worse it is for them. Graupner isn't the worst thing out there," Arline warned them as she marched forward again.

"W-what?" Dipper gasped, "well, what is then?" Arline said nothing, but continued on.

"C'mon," Mabel suggested, nudging him to follow.

The three raced through the hallway, passing the spaced apart evidences of Arline and the Warlock's fight, along with the few pipes that had become slightly damaged during the flip of gravity. As they raced Dipper frowned and shook his head.

"Too many times," Dipper grumbled. Mabel nodded and sighed.

"And I don't even really like thinking about locking people away unless they've deserved it," she said, her hair trailing behind her.

"He deserves it," Dipper decided.

"Yeah. Five times," Mabel counter as they ran ahead, moving in haste towards the main convention area, "that's five he's messed around here, and tried hurting people."

The twins shared a power-filled glance, and instantly connected on a single decision. This guy, Graupner Kinley, had lost his chance to reconcile with the twins after he tried hurting them with the Tulpa, and then lost any chance for peace within contact when he sent the recently turned werewolf Folbrow. Now, after kidnapping Dipper, sending ghosts, giant spiders, and lycans at the twins, they were through with him. Their next place they were going to put him was behind bars.

Ahead, Arline shoved out the double doors. Accidentally knocking over the two guards next to them, the three stormed into the shaken crowds, who had only just began to continue with their basis. Businessmen and women all walked about, looking to the walls and ceiling with fear. The few who seemed excited or even happy with the turn of events were, naturally, the insurance companies.

"We do include earthquake insurance!" one of them shouted as the trio passed. "For a limited time, you too can be protected from earth's mighty fury!"

"...don't know anything about earth's fury," Arline mumbled loudly as she and the twins ran past.

"Dudes!"

Arline stopped and whipped her head to the direction of the call. The twins stumbled forward and gasped. Soos, Yuki, and to their surprise, Pacifica, were heading their way.

"You're safe!" Yuki acknowledged, "thank goodness."

"For now," Mabel was quicker to reply, letting Dipper and Arline catch up with her, "are you all sa- Pacifica, that is a lovely dress!" Mabel pointed out.

"Oh, this old thing?" Pacifica asked, her eyes scanning the wardrobe. Her lips twisted and she frowned, opening them to retort to Mabel's kind compliment. Then, her eyes darted to Yuki for a moment, and she froze. He was looking at her with his usual smile.

"Thank you," Pacifica looked back to Mabel.

"No problem! You know, we should totally go on a girls night out at some point!" Mabel told her.

"Can we talk about the more important business at hand?" Dipper reminded Mabel, bumping into her as he squeezed his way next to her. "Hey guys. Pacifica," he gave her a small smile and nod, which she smiled back.

"I take it you have uncovered something odd?" Yuki asked.

"I bet it's another portal! Or maybe it's a secret underground facility with a shape-shifting monster! Or faeries!" Soos exclaimed, all one after another.

"Okay, tell me you two haven't actually found all those things he just said," Pacifica rounded on the twins, her brows furrowed in worry. When the twins shrugged, she shook her head. "I don't want to live here anymore. I need to move out of town."

"Soos, it's him. The Warlock again," Dipper exclaimed. Soos took in a sharp breath, and looked around.

"Oh boy, that's not good," he said, tugging his usual hat tighter around his head.

"The same Warlock who gifted you the cursed medallion?" Yuki inquired. The twins nodded. "And the same one who gave Pacifica the flute?"

"Wait, that jerk is here?!" Pacifica demanded.

"All true," Mabel nodded, cracking her knuckles loudly, "and we think he's overstayed his welcome."

"Which is why," Arline stepped up to the group, her bright blue eyes scanning around, "we're going to stop him at all costs. He's dangerous, and willing to do more."

"Sorry... who are you?" Pacifica demanded.

"This is my martial arts teacher and master of the paths," Mabel leaned to the side and wiggled her hands before Arline, "Arline Hirsh!"

"Hi," Arline nodded to Pacifica, who eyed the woman before her.

"Huh. I swear I've heard your last name before," Pacifica shrugged.

"Kind of a common name, really," Arline said.

"If the Warlock is amongst us," Yuki stated again, thinking aloud with his eyes focused on the space between them all, "he will be seeking something here," he looked to the twins and Arline, "do we have knowledge indicating his desires?"

"The desire to be a huge jerk," Mabel crossed her arms and pouted.

"Power?" Dipper suggested, "he told me once that he wanted power in anyway and wanted to use it for his own."

The disguised alien paused, and looked around. Finally, he shook his head. "I do not understand," Yuki said, "while there is plenty of electrical power here, I do not see the opportunities that could arise from this building."

"That's because Yuki," Arline told him, "you're thinking power in it's most true form. If he wants power in any form, what better way to assert authority of masses of people than by controlling a select few?"

"Wait," Pacifica stepped closer, "want to say that again?"

"I think the Warlock intends to use the rich and powerful here. By charm, or threats, or even kidnapping them," Arline explained, spinning around slowly, eying the entire populace, "he will seek to control them for his own good."

"If I was a power-hungry nut job who used magic, that does sound like something I'd do, but maybe only after making flurple a real color," Soos added, and then stepped closer, "so, what's the plan?"

Arline eyed Soos, Yuki, and Pacifica. There was a clear hesitation about her as she pursed her lips and frowned. She cast a worried glance to the twins. "That's up to the twins," she said, her words heavier than previously.

Looking back to Arline for clarity, they sighed and decided instantly want to say.

"We're going to grab this guy together and throw him into jail," Mabel announced first.

"Soos, you and Yuki should wait out here. The warlock has only been going after us, so i don't think he's targeting you," Dipper announced.

"Which, despite your life-threatening situation, I am grateful for," Soos said.

"So we can use this for our advantage. You and Yuki can jump him if we can chase him out into the open here," Dipper explained. "So, Me, Mabel, and Arline are going to go after this total, complete, son of a..." Dipper clenched his jaw and felt the skin on his arms tighten, reminding him of the handyword that Wendy had done weeks ago when he had been cut for fresh blood, "and flush him out. Then, the five of us get him."

"Wait, and what, I just stick around the side and clap?" Pacifica barked, pointing at Dipper, who blinked and leant back from her deadly tone. "C'mon, if Yuki's going to help, I should too."

"Why is that a basis for your argument?" Dipper asked.

"Well... I mean, Yuki," Pacifica turned to him, her tone apologetic as her smile barely curved up, "you're not exactly strong looking." Mabel, Dipper, and Soos all burst out laughing, catching both blonds by surprise. "What?" Pacifica demanded as Yuki stood there, nervously watching them all.

"He's a lot more than meets the eye," Soos told Pacifica with a wink. With a cocked eyebrow, she glanced at Yuki, who seemed to have developed a small amount of sweat on his forehead.

"Pacifica, we can use you for help, but we're dealing with a guy who throws around fire for sport," Dipper told her, "Mabel and I deal with this kind of thing on-and-off. When's the last time you had to deal with a monster?"

"At the talent show? Duh," she rolled her eyes. Dipper frowned and glared at her.

"Yeah. And how well did you handle it all?" he asked of her. Pacifica opened her mouth, her cheeks bright pink.

"I was startled!" she declared.

"Dipper, don't be mean to her," Mabel shoved his shoulder, and he nodded.

"Pacifica," Arline spoke to her directly, "Dipper isn't wrong. This will be very dangerous. I'm really happy the twins have friends as brave as you," she said off handedly, causing the pink in Pacifica's cheeks to grow, "but this isn't something you should just be ready to jump into. Only do this if you think you can survive through life-and-death situations."

Pacifica listened very closely to the words of the martial artist, her eyes squinting as she heard each word. When Arline finished, the blonde looked around, scanning the faces of those she had circled with, perhaps checking their sincerity. Life or death, danger or safety, and friend and foe; Pacifica studied them all. Mabel gave her a big, wide grin, Dipper presented a half-hearted shrug. Finally, she looked to Yuki, who looked back, not pretenses to provide her. He just looked to her, and she back. Finally, she sighed and nodded.

"Maybe I can help some people out so we can make sure no one gets badly hurt during all of this," Pacifica told them.

"I love it," Arline told her, "don't think for a second that we're not counting on you, okay?" she added, and Pacifica's eyes lit up.

"Okay. Stay safe, and go kick this guy's ass. Especially you," she pointed to Yuki, who blinked and looked around, "stay safe." Pacifica grinned devilishly to them, and then spun around. Soos had gasped and put his hands to his mouth.

"Wow. She must mean business if she's swearing like that!" he said.

"Perhaps," Yuki said distantly, following Pacifica as she left their circle, departing towards the main stage.

"Alright. Reminder," Arline spoke to Yuki and Soos, "the man wears a dark cloak, but has bright blond hair under it. Really pale skin, and he stutters. Tall, lanky, and has that annoying voice," she said.

"Annoying voice- roger," Soos nodded, and turned his cap around so the flat edge faced away.

"Perhaps you might want to start your search... there," Yuki pointed up.

The twins and Arline turned and followed the path Yuki's point created. They found, overlooking the center of the huge convention center floor, an extended section of office serving as an over-watch. Glass panels tilted away from the floor gave it the look of a monitoring station.

"The managerial office?" Arline asked, and turned back to Yuki, "why?"

"A list of all members, and their affiliations, could be a good start to the man's goals," Yuki acknowledged. "And should he not be there, having someone in the offices that overlook the space could present us the opportunity to 'get the jump on him'."

"Hey! You used an expression!" Mabel clapped Yuki's shoulder, to which he grinned happily.

"I like the idea," Dipper admitted.

"Okay. Thanks Yuki," Arline told him with a wink of her eye. "Guys, we have a magician to capture," Arline announced.

With flair appropriate only to a mission as dangerous as theirs, the five split up. Soos and Yuki quickly turned and passed around a booth, ignoring the calls of the still shaken attendants in their attempt to market their product. "Cricket Tickets- the newest form of pest removal!" they shouted, waving about the exemplified object. The other three started right for the offices. Arline in the head, and the twins flanking her sides, the marched in formation towards the opposite doors.

"Arline," Dipper started, "where do people like this Warlock come from?"

"Him? Honestly, I only know a few things," she said, glancing over he shoulder, "that he was taught at a young age, and that he's never had a great life, and he's has serious anger issues. Not a nice person, but he's very good at magic."

"That sounds familiar," Mabel pointed out Dipper. "Shorten him up, make him pudgy, tall white hair-"

"He's not Gideon," Dipper commented.

"Yeah. Doesn't sound like him at all," Mabel nodded.

"Oh great," Arline muttered as they passed out from the stream of walkers, and found themselves near the doors. Guarding those needed-to-be-passed doors were a duo of different guards.

"Hm. I can try distracting them?" Mabel suggested as they paused.

"How?" Dipper turned on her, "going to show them your new sweater designs?"

"I thought feminine wiles would do the trick," Mabel admitted, but then her face lit up, "unless you do think they'd like my new design!" she said, pulling out a tiny sketch pad she constantly kept with her, "I like the one with a writer fighting a fencer. The real test of might is worn!"

"Mabel," Dipper started to compile a reminder of the seriousness of the situation, when there was a flash of color next to him. Arline had darted ahead. Down and then up, she swiped her foot so fast the man she targeted was lifted into the air and thrown against the door. His companion only had time to blink and bare his teeth in shock before she swung her fist to his neck, stunning him and knocking him and causing him to reel forward, and then kneeing him in the side of the head. The second guard fell aside, motionless.

The twin's mouth gaped widely as they stared in disbelief. With a minor jerk of her hair, Arline stood fully, and rested herself from her combat stance. She noticed their stares, and sighed. "Relax, they're not dead."

"But you just attacked them," Mabel gasped, walking up to her, "just because they were in our way."

"They're not badly hurt," Arline told her, a heavy hand on Mabel's shoulder, "and we need to keep going. We have to be thinking about the bigger picture; the safety of the entire convention."

"But they're part of that convention," Mabel protested, "a darker, more, uh, masculine sub-participation."

"Mabel," Arline shook her head, and the girl closed her lips. "Besides, that guy," Arline pointed to the man she struck twice, "was a jerk to me when I picked up my mail. Cat-calling. Ugh."

"I guess as long as they're not hurt for good," Dipper added, patting his sister's shoulder, "c'mon Mabel. They'll be fine."

"Sorry. Sorry," Mabel whispered to both as she crept past them with her brother, following Arline.

Through the doors and down the hallway they moved, passing down similar construction as the one from before. Arline's stride was direct and uncompromising, and almost made the twins rush to keep up.

There was a sense of amateurism with the two. Mabel and Dipper had, of course, done these sort of missions before. However, with Arline giving them the guide, they felt as if there was now a method to go about this task. While they had solved and accomplished so much in their own regards, it had always been by the skin of their teeth. Messy, dirty, and barely scraping by was how the twins made it through the day. Now, with Arline, there was a sense of professionalism, like they were now on their first mission all over again. Dipper continued to adjust his hat, and Mabel continued to pull at her sweater.

"Heads up," Arline told them, spotting ahead an elevator. "Stay close to me, up until you see me on fire," she told them as she pressed the button for 'up'.

"Roger that," Dipper nodded as the doors opened, and the three stepped inside to the empty metal pod.

"You guys ever wonder what would happen if you put up a bunch of rubber bands around the inside of an elevator and suspended yourself from all sides," Mabel said, "and then the elevator crashed down the entire building; would you just jiggle around like a bouncy ball?" she asked as the doors beeped. Dipper and Arline stared at her, one with amusement and the other, Dipper, with concern. Mabel shrugged as the doors closed. "I sometimes do."

A few minutes later, those same doors opened to the third level of the building, and the three stepped out. The hallway before them was damage, and to a much more severe amount than those before. Scorch marks scarred the floors and walls, knives were embedded into the walls, and several men, all in similar security guard wear lay on the floor, motionless. Mabel gasped as she spotted, along with the other two, puddles of crimson liquid flowing out from under them.

"Are... are they-" Dipper asked, color in his face draining. Arline rushed forward, and checked their pulse.

"Alive," she stated quietly, and gently pushed the first to the side, finding his injury. A long cut on the side of his arm showed them the source of the blood. "His ingredients. Dark magic calls for blood a lot," Arline walked to the next one, and checked him as well, his dark skin splattered with red. "Same. They're not in danger of dying, at least not for a while. We'll need to get them help after we get him," Arline told them as she stood, carefully avoiding the puddles of blood.

Mabel's eyes blazed with fire as she marched ahead, passing both her brother and Arline in her driven speed. Dipper made a noise behind her, trying to grasp her and restrain her as she pushed forward, but her speed was too sudden. She strode down the hallway towards a pair of double doors, and pushed them aside just as the other two met up with her.

The inside of the large, overseeing office was messy. A prior struggle of some sort had knocked aside furniture and chairs, spilling around papers. A man laid against the glass to the far left, but the three eyed ahead, next to a pile of torn apart chairs and seats. Slowly turning from the windows, a hand to his head, the Warlock slowly turned.

"... hold on a second," he said to the phone as he faced the three, "I've met some resistance again."

"Warlock!" Mabel growled, the skin on her fists tightening as she clenched them tightly.

"Or should we call you by your name," Dipper exclaimed, "Graupner Kinley?"

The Warlock's eyes widened and he snarled, his lips curling as he glared back, his eyes darkening as he leant forward. His leer displayed a speckle of blood on his forehead. With the phone still to his side, he lifted his hand and swirled his fingers through the air absent-mindedly.

"Well th-then," he said, those dark eyes glaring between them, "we've all f-f-finally caught up-p."

"Graupner," Arline spoke quickly, "under the non-aggressive magic conduction act of fourteen seventy six, you are restricted from using Magic in the conduct you've displayed," she said, catching the twins off guard. There was a magic act? From fourteen seventy six?

"It's somewhat outdated," Graupner told them, "you know, b-by a few hundred years."

"It stands just as relevant as it did six hundred years ago," Arline told him.

"How w-would you know!?" he yelled, spit flying out from his mouth, "you weren't alive th-then!"

"No, but it still sounds like a good idea to not make the world despise magic as they did during the dark ages," Arline stated.

"There are codes of magical conduct?" Dipper asked Arline quietly, and she nodded gently. The warlock snorted and shook his head.

"Rules t-to protected th-those without promise or hope to expand the w-world by force," he stated, still keeping his hands in mid-air, spinning them slowly around, "Pathswoman," the warlock leered at Arline, "I've heard of you. Th-the fire-dancer. The last t-true student of the one Guardsman." Graupner, the Warlock, waited for her to reply, but she said nothing. "F-fine, I'll c-cut to the ch-chase."

"I want you off my b-back," Graupner told them.

"Really?" Dipper snorted, "we couldn't tell with the whole inverting gravity and throwing fire at us!"

"Sh-shut up," Graupner hissed. "I've got quite th-the resources now under my control. I am not someone you want as an enemy," Graupner said, his words flowing in a slither through the air. "Just g-go, and we'll pretend this never happened."

"While you cut people and send giant spiders running into town!?" Mabel demanded heatedly.

"The spider was meant to scare people out of t-town!" Graupner shouted. "If no one is here, the-then I can get to my mission without interruption!"

"And that mission would be?" Dipper asked, taking half a step closer. Graupner shot his mouth open quickly, but then he chuckled and shook his head.

"N-not for you t-to know," he said angrily.

"Gee, it almost sounds like what you're doing is pretty bad," Mabel said in her best jabbing voice, "and you're going to hurt people no matter what. So, I think we're just going to stop you now, and put you in jail. And there, I'll send you sweaters reminding you how many years you still have before you can get out."

"Mabel, wow," Dipper looked to her, shock in his eyes, "that's pretty dark."

"Well, I don't like him," she admitted with a mere shrug.

"SHUT UP!"

The three flinched as the Warlock closed his hand in the air, staying the movement of his fingers from their circles. The pile of broken chairs and equipment began to rattle and sway, and there was a feeling of static to the air. Magic had been cast. Arline took to action before Mabel and Dipper even thought of it.

She was in mid air, her arms not yet ablaze, and she shot down, punching straight for the deranged man. Yet he barked a single laugh, and the pile of furniture rolled in unison over, and coalesced into a single shape. A make-shift hand extended out and back-handed Arline out of the air, throwing her across the room and into a desk, which splintered as she crashed through the wood.

"MASTER!" Mabel screamed. Dipper and her turned to rush, to aid Arline back to stand up.

That same entity then stood between them and Arline. Huge, wide, overbearing shoulders presented the hulking figure that the twins could only describe as a 'office chair golem'. Two stubs for legs and feet held the weight of the body and thick arms, which were easily three times as thick as the legs. A small head, with rolling wheels for eyes, bore down at the twins.

"Not b-bad for a first try," Graupner told himself as he nodded easily. Then he grinned. "You sh-should have listened to me. Kill them," he pointed to the twins, who then looked up the golem.

It was very fast, much faster than they had expected. It reached back and prepped it's hand for a massive back-handed swing before they could blink. Yet something was faster- Arline. Like a bullet, she threw herself back at the golem with a warriors cry worthy of ancient barbians. Fire roaring alongside her arms, she slammed into the chest of the golem, carried it through with her force, and then shoved it out the window with a loud crash. The golem roared and fell to the ground, causing a huge outburst of screams. Arline slowly turned around, her face scuffed and slightly dirty from the landing, yet she grinned to the Warlock.

"It takes more than a crumby art project to stop me," Arline told him.

The Warlock smiled. "M-maybe not you, b-but what about th-those below?"

The golem roared below Arline. Screams of panic and terror below shook the martial artist's confidence, and she spun around. People were stampeding to get out of the way, running completely over booths and stands to avoid the now marauding construct.

"Me, or the innocent," Graupner told her. Graupner heard movement behind him too late- Mabel had sprinted up next to him and delivered her strongest punch across his face, knocking him against the glass, and forcing him to gasp, stepping away with haste.

"No," Mabel hissed as Dipper flanked him.

"Both," he added, and looked to Arline, "we've dealt with him before. Can you save the people from that thing?" he asked. Arline looked to Dipper and grinned.

"Don't get more hurt than you need to," she told him and then leapt out from the three story drop.

"Dang, she's cool," Dipper said as he and his sister began to advance on Graupner. "Alright, you poor excuse for a human being," Dipper scolded the Warlock, "you're done."

"Am I?" he asked, and under the desk he had stood behind he pointed his hand. A flash of movement soared and chains, the same dirty chains Dipper and Mabel had seen before floated in the air above the Warlock. He cackled as they circled him like a shield. "C-come and get me!"

Mabel was first to rush at him. Loud and deliberate, Mabel dove right for the Warlock. In the maddened glee, the man spun and rushed back at her, the chains unraveling from their closer protected to whip at Mabel. She avoided two wide swings, and rolled to the side. The third swipe was a stab near her neck, but Mabel was ready, pushing herself backwards to be flat against the ground. Before the chain could retract, she grasped hold of them and got to kneel.

Dipper roared as he followed up. The warlock had little time to prepare for the side-assault, and couldn't turn fast enough. Dipper kicked out, hitting the man in his sides, forcing him to stumble aside as Mabel held the chains in place. Like a puppet dragged away from the strings, the animated chains fell lifeless to the floor as Mabel pried them away from their master.

"How's that for you!?" Dipper demanded, continuing his attack. The Warlock did his best to fight back, yet was only the recipient of an improved fighter. Dipper had learned a lot since their first encounter, and was expressing all of his anger and resentment towards the man in his fury.

"Dipper! Be careful!" Mabel shouted as she stood up and raced to catch up. Dipper heard and leapt back, barely spotting in time the drawing of a knife.

In the moment's pause, the twins spied the bruised and bloodied face of the Warlock. Dipper had accomplished quite the number on the man before him; large purple circles in his face growing wider and larger by the second. Yet the man snarled with a wide grin- he seemed pleased, as he lifted a knife, and pocketed the cell phone.

"Sh-shouldn't have let up," Graupner told them, and held his hand open to the ceiling. The knife he held glowed with runes, and began to float into the air. Not only that, but several more knives all came floating out from under the cloak, glowing with the same kind of imprinted power. "Now, let's actually f-fight."

He stepped forward as the knives began to spin like blender blades through the air. Mabel and Dipper watched him, stepping back from his advance. There was no pity or remorse in the eyes of their enemy. He stared at them with glee as he then extended his arm, and two of the five knives shot out, one for each of the twins.

Mabel leapt aside and rushed forward, while Dipper bent backwards, avoiding the knife with surprising dexterity. When it flew back for him, he put a foot on the glass next to him, and pushed into the air, flipping over the boomerang-blade.

Mabel made no such extravagant movement. As soon as the knife Dipper dodged had come back, Mabel had grabbed a chair, and hurled it at the Warlock. Two of the four floating knives struck the side of the seat, knocking it aside. Mabel was quick though. As it fell out of the air, she caught it again, and spun, building momentum as she twisted. Knives still imbedded into it's side, she roared and swung the chair at the head of her enemy.

Graupner shouted and ducked just barely out of the way in time to avoid the thrown chair. It also crashed through the window, taking two of the daggers with it. Now armed with only three, he grasped two of them with his hands, and let the third whip around him. He rushed Dipper first, who countered, kicking high at the man's neck.

While the attack missed, Dipper was quick at retracting his foot and taking a stance to avoid the retaliation. The Warlock swung again and again, for the face, the hands, neck- vital spots that could easily kill Dipper in a matter of minutes or seconds. Mabel took the advantage, and rushed in from behind. The floating knife detected Mabel, and began to swipe and slash at her, entirely from a mind of it's own.

While Dipper could barely make an attack from between the constantly slashing knives, Mabel began to find more success. Her training was more intensive, and she knew her body well. With a many fake outs and dodges, she began to 'stir' the knife to make more and more rash decisions to attack her. Finally it extended too far, and she grabbed it by the handle and tossed it aside, sticking it into the desk.

The warlock heard the sound and notice the missing knife too late. He spun around, ready to attack, but Mabel beat him by a long shot. Her foot slammed into his stomach and he gasped, slammed against the window with enough force to crack the glass. Dipper followed up with a roar and planted a stomp onto his chest. With a terrified gasp, Graupner grasped at either sides of the framing as the panel behind him fell and crashed below. Holding onto the bare frame, Graupner Kinley let go of his knives and struggled to stay up.

"This feels familiar," Dipper told the Warlock as he and Mabel watched him struggle to stay up. "You try killing us, and end up dangling over a long drop."

"I don't know if he's going to be so lucky falling into water or whatever this time," Mabel added, shaking her head with mock sympathy.

"Yeah, such a shame," Dipper added, and then faced him again, "I don't know why you keep thinking this works against us! We've dealt with your magic stuff before! So this

thing you're doing-"

"Blaah! I'm evil and power hungry!" Mabel exemplified, holding her hands up to her face like claws.

"-yeah, we're good with that sort of thing."

"Not to mention," Mabel added with a gentle nudge to her brother's shoulder, "two of us. One of you."

At these words, the Warlock grinned, and let go with one hand. Dipper and Mabel gasped as they saw the fingers around the frame begin to slip. He looked to them with his demon-like smile, and said, "so quick t-to assume." With his free hand, he then reached in for the cell phone, held it to his mouth, and spoke. "Do it."

A burst of bright blue light soared through the entire building. Dipper and Mabel gasped, and they felt themselves fall upwards, pushed into the air simply from the friction of the ground they had been previously standing on. The Warlock roared with laughter as he watched the twins begin to spin and flail, shouting and trying to gain control.

"Yes. You seem s-so in control," he told them with a grin as he easily held himself to the frame before tugging himself down and out of their sight.

As the Warlock chuckled and started to push himself further and further down to the ground, passing by terrified, screaming, helpless members of the convention, he then heard a shout. A large man flew towards him, his fist drawn back and ready for a punch. With a snarl, the Warlock leapt away as Soos landed where he had just been.

"Get back here dude!" Soos shouted, and pushed himself after the Warlock.

In the middle of the room, amidst the floating wreckage of the largest booths, now all mixed and tangled, Arline and the golem still did battle. She crawled and pulled herself around it's body, striking it with her flaming punches as hard she could. As the Warlock and Soos darted past the fight, one of Arline's punches lit the entire golem ablaze, sending chunks of burning wood and leather around. Like falling meteors the chunks passed by still uncontrollable people, desperate to escape the fate of the destruction around them.

"G-get away from me!" the Warlock roared behind him as Soos began to extend his arms and swim through the air.

"No way! You're a bad dude, dawg, and I'm going to grab you!"

"Yeah?" The Warlock snarled, noticing a person in his flight path. He leered as he approached one of the many businessman, and landed into him. With expert timing, he grasped the man, spun him around, and threw him at Soos as he kicked off. Soos gasped and flew straight into the man, and was knocked off course.

"Yuki! He's heading your way!" Soos shouted as he flew aside.

The warlock gasped and looked around. In shock, he found a single man climbing along the edges of the walls, carefully watching both his path, and the Warlock's path. Yuki, his purple eyes flicking between the two directions, grew closer and closer, but the Warlock found a large, floating table, and landed atop it. By the corner of the room, he and the table drifted. Just before Yuki could leap to the table, the Warlock jumped again, this time heading for the door.

"Ha! You c-can't keep up, c-can you-"

The warlock gasped. The huge table behind him, easily three hundred pounds or so, was now hurtling towards him with enough speed to whistled through the air. He yelled as he spun himself to better avoid the coming wooden object, and felt the wind pass by him. Yet that was not all- there was a clinging person hiding on the back.

"You are caught, misanthrope!" Yuki roared triumphantly as, with one hand on the table and the other holding onto the Warlock, he spun and whipped the man towards the ground with a exceedingly powerful throw. The warlock crashed through two smaller, frail tables before he struck the ground.

From the middle of the room, Arline spun wildly, punching the flaming wreckage of the Golem again and again with her burning fists. Slowly the entirety of the being began to crumble, falling to ashes and scorched remains. The sight of the victory stirred the Warlock. Graupner screamed loudly, and lifted the phone back to his head. "Restore it all!"

Dipper and Mabel had just leapt from the open window of the manager overlook to the floor when the once-proud gravity was restored. Six feet they fell to the floor, and both landed as best they could. However, around them chaos descended and crashed around them. Shouting as they wove and dodged around from the trash piling up around them, the twins rushed forward, trying to find their friends, or their enemy.

Finally, they found Yuki standing up, having just fallen to the floor. Above him, a large chunk of the main stage was descending. Mabel screamed, "YUKI! JUMP AWAY!"

Yuki heard and dodged just in the knick of time. A half second after he leapt, the long side of the wooden crafted stage struck the ground and splintered half way through. Gravity would not be so kind though- it then began to fall towards Yuki again, who struggled to stand back up, having landed on a spot of fallen ice-water.

A blond woman rushed next to him, and with a mighty tug, lifted him to his feet and away just as it crashed behind them, billowing dusty air into the space. Pacifica gasped and coughed as she held the shaken Yuki to his feet, in shock at what could have been his demise.

"Whoa!"

Soos then landed next to them, atop a large pile of plush toys. From the messy fluffy and stuffing, his head poked out, and he nodded. "Once again, toys and child-like purpose saves my life."

"OUT OF MY WAY!"

The twins, along with Soos and Yuki, spun around to see their target running for the door. Over the backs of recovering men and woman he jumped and leapt, even passing through the burning remains of his golem. Arline was chasing him at her best, but as people began to stand up and shout at the escaping man, she found it harder and harder to keep up. He was racing towards the exit, where the cops of Gravity Falls had just come in, agape at the destruction around them.

WHAM.

A fist from the side struck out and slammed into the side of Graupner Kinley's face, and he fell aside, motionless. A tall, elderly man waved his limp hand through the air, stepping over the now unconscious figure, shaking his head.

"Officers!" Omir Steindorf called, pointing to the man below him, "arrest this person!"

"Whoa there, sir," Sheriff Blubs approached just as the twins and Arline made it over, "what exactly did he do? By my reckoning, you just did the punching."

"Yeah. I think punching people in the face is pretty bad," Deputy Durland added.

"That it is, buddy," Sheriff Blubs told him with a pat on the shoulder, "that it is."

"This is the man responsible for what is going on," Arline added, stepping next to Mr. Steindorf, her breath now hastened, droplets of sweat running down her face.

"What? All of this?!"

The group turned to two disheveled figures approaching as well. The Northwests, entirely dirty and shaken marched over, their eyes bloodshot and boring with fury, pointed to the man on the ground.

"Officers, if there is to be something done about this horrible situation, it will be that YOU ARREST THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY!" Preston Northwest roared loudly.

"By what right do you have to order me around, sir?" Sheriff Blubs demanded, his hands on his hips.

"Shall we forgo inviting you to the annual Northwest Party this summer?" Miss Northwest warned him.

"I hereby declare that there is enough evidence to arrest this man on grounds of assault, massive property damage, attempted murder, and treason," Blubs announced loudly, and then he turned to his fellow officers "take him to the cruiser."

Several policemen marched forward, grasping the arms of the stirring man. As he was lifted, his eyes came into focus, and he looked to the first person he saw- Omir Steindorf. His lips curled and his mouth opened and closed, struggling for words to shout. Yet he stifled his anger, and instead turned to the twins as he was pulled away.

"You th-think jail will hold me?!" he roared to them, "you th-think I'll forget this?! Well, you're WRONG!" he roared as he was pulled out of the convention center, "TH-THIS ISN'T OVER, P-P-PINES!"

"Fine," Mabel replied.

"We'll be waiting," Dipper added as they watched him be pulled away. Next to him, Preston Northwest and his wife approached the somber and disappointed looking Omir.

"Omir, my friend," Preston walked to him, a hand on his shoulder, "I know this was somewhat of a disaster, but I assure you, Gravity Falls is more than a safe place to hold business! This meeting was just a fluke-"

"That's enough, Preston," Omir turned to him. The Northwests actually flinched at the older man's tone. Those brown eyes glared at them, a cold fury held at bay only by professionalism and tailored attitude. "The only reason you still have a convention center in town at all is because this talented group here," he waved a hand to the twins and Arline, "and their friends. Had they not intervened, it is possible that whatever was going on around would have utterly destroyed this facility. So don't try patronizing me with the saftey of this town."

Omir never once raised his voice, but the tone was so cold, it was no wonder that both the Northwests froze. Once several tense moments passed, Omir sighed.

"I will be speaking with the business council to discuss matters of expansion into this town, and how I will advise _against_ _it_ as long as these strange events are occurring," Omir told them. Preston made a step closer, but the older, dark skinned man held his hand proudly up. "I stand by my words, Preston. Make no mistake."

With a look around at the twins and their allies, the two older Northwests passed by, defeated etched into their dark face. Pacifica watched them leave, a bitter smile on her face. Only when Yuki turned to her did she drop.

"They didn't listen," she told him, "not once. I told them to leave because it was dangerous, and they just told me to stop being paranoid. Looks like I was right," she sighed and struggled to straighten her hair.

"So this whole convention was a ploy to increase business in Gravity Falls?" Dipper asked Pacifica.

"Business is a ploy, my son," Omir turned to him, "all of business is about making money, by any means. This town is 'ripe for the taking', as it is run by small businesses almost exclusively. Mega corporations were interested with the land value here... but I think there will be a large amount of re-consideration taking place now," the old man said, turning back to face the police cars as they pulled away. Graupner, the Warlock, glared at them from the cruiser, and was pulled away. "And it only took one person to cause this amount of... chaos."

"His name is Graupner, Graupner Kinley," Arline told him, and the older man turned to her. "He's dangerous, unpredictable, and violent."

"Kinley... why?" Mr. Steindorf asked, "why go through all this trouble?"

"We... don't know," Arline admitted with a look away.

Omir scowled and turned away. "Then I will personally head this investigation with the police on the matter," he announced as he stepped away, his pristine clothing absorbing the light as he passed out the glass doors. Leaving them behind, he glanced back only once, and waved to the group with a single two-fingered salute. He then adjusted his bow-tie, and stepped into a black limousine, which drove away once his door had closed.

"Yuki," Pacifica broke the silence as she looked into his eyes, "are you okay? You didn't get a concussion, did you? You fell pretty hard."

"I am fine, thank you," he told her with a smile. She sighed and in a brisk motion, reached out and embraced him. The alien froze, and looked to Mabel and Dipper, who both stared back. That wasn't the usual Pacifica repertoire of actions. She pulled away, and smiled at him.

"Well, I'm going to go help people to medics. A lot of people did fall pretty hard, "she announced with a wince, holding her own arm, where Dipper noticed a large purple and brown bruise forming just above her elbow. "I know you guys just fought off that crazy wizard guy, but we could all probably use your help getting people to doctors and cleaning up the mess," she told them as she turned and walked away.

"I'm great at cleaning and fixin' things," Soos stated, and marched next to her.

"Great. I'll put you to work right away, serva- err, Soos, right?" Pacifica asked him.

"You got it, bud."

"Don't call me bud," Pacifica scowled at him.

"Oh. Sure thing, Pacifica."

"I agree with her actions," Yuki smiled and nodded, and made to follow. When Dipper, Mabel, and Arline did not, he paused and waited for them. "You mean not to aid?"

"We'll be coming," Mabel told him with a heavy sigh, "we just need to take a second."

"Very well," Yuki nodded and turned away, hurrying to catch up with Soos and Pacifica. Mabel and Dipper groaned and moved away to the wall, leaning against it together, and sliding to the ground in unison.

"That was a mess," Dipper admitted, "I'm not sure we really won that fight."

"Well, no one died, right?" Mabel asked him. Dipper's eyes scanned around. Those that hadn't fled the building when the office golem fell to the floor were all stumbling around still, helping one another up and trying to salvage what remains of their booths and services they could.

"I hope not," Dipper admitted.

"I don't think so," Arline told them, her eyes softened and her face holding that former air of peace she usually was graced with. "Some people may have some heavy bruises and cuts- heck, maybe some broken bones, but... I don't feel any death here."

"Wait... you can feel death?" Dipper gasped.

"Only when someone's spirit passes on," Arline told him with a grin as she too rested on the side of the wall. "I'm not a spirit walker or anything like that- I just can feel when the spirit becomes energy. One of those crazy tricks those on the paths know."

Dipper's eyes grew wide enough to take up his entire face, and he shook his head. "Yeah, sign me up as a student. I want to learn that." Arline laughed, and shook her head.

"Guys," Mabel suddenly piped up, "we did beat him, right?"

Dipper looked to her and laughed. "Yeah? Of course we did. How couldn't we have beaten him? Well, I guess if his goal is supposed to be scaring people away from Gravity Falls, he kinda got that one down," Dipper admitted, "but really- how could we have lost this?"

Mabel leant forward, her eyes darting around in thought. "I'm just a little concerned," she said, looking to them after a pause, "how did he activate the gravity spell a second time?"

"You tell me," Arline said quickly, "I was busy fighting big-guy."

"Wait," Dipper gasped and quickly jumped up, "oh my god... you're right..." Dipper started to pace back and forth.

"Dipper? Mabel?" Arline asked them as Mabel stood, watching her brother move back and forth.

"Master, he was on the phone when we met him," Mabel started.

"And after you left, we nearly knocked him out a window," Dipper continued.

"But then, when he was dangling like the loser he was-"

"He lifted the phone up and asked for help. Then the gravity was switched off again," Dipper concluded. Arline shot up and gasped, her eyes wide with shock.

"Wait... he never did? He didn't use that scroll again?" Arline demanded.

"How could he have?" Dipper stated, "we were too busy hitting him up. Someone... someone else was here to do it for him."

As the three welled in the realization they had just uncovered, they slowly stared out to the repairing and limping men and women before them. The destruction, the fighting, the chasing, all of it to catch one man hadn't been enough. Like so many things in the town of Gravity Falls, all it did was lead to more questions. Now, in shock and frustration, the three wondered: who else had been there to help the Warlock this entire time?

* * *

When one question leads to another, how do you ever uncover the truth? Some say the truth is just an ongoing reality of explanations that are never completed. But seriously, who could be the aid in Graupner's attack on the Gravity Falls Business Convention?

Maybe it's Old Man McGucket. Or Manly Dan. Or maybe it's... LAZY SUZAN! Nah. Probably not. They like it in Gravity Falls.

Anyway, that concludes the action-packed Episode 6 of Season two. Hope you guys liked it! It was a doozy to write!

Speaking of doozy's, I was hoping to talk to the many talented artists whom I can reach out to here. I was wondering if I could be so bold to ask for help? I'm trying to build a cover poster for this series that's entirely original. Since I'm fortunate enough to have a seriously awesome group of friends who follow me on this journey, I'd like to call out to anyone who is or who knows artists who may be interested in helping me make a poster fitting this story.

Aside from that, I have no other particular news. Oh- except that the next episode is called "Fender Gender". We're going back to a lighter episode, and some feels are included.

Until next week, Seeya guys- (a section of the burning Golem crashes through the building and destroys EZB's computer. He stares at it with a pained look, and sighs.) Well, without my computer, I might as well just die anyway. (EZB's pants leg catches on fire from the burning wreck, and he leaps up, slowly catching fire.) AH! NO! I WAS BEING CYNICAL! JUST CYNICAL! AAHHHHHH!

* * *

**5-22-5-18-25 1-16-16-18-5-14-20-9-3-5 8-1-19 1 13-1-19-20-5-18.**

**-AND-**

**Exw vhulrxvob, zkdw d qlfh erz-wlh!**


	35. Fender Gender: Part 1

"We now return to 'Ducktective: The Movie," the television blared loudly.

"YES!" Mabel cheered as she leaned on the floor, sprawled out on a pillow off the lazy boy chair next to her as her pig sprawled next to her. Dipper, who had taken to the sofa, sat, cross-legged as he poured over the journal, with his own note-pad in his hand. He glared at his sister's loud burst, but said nothing. "Yuki! It's back on!" Mabel shouted to the hallway. A moment later as the programming on the television continued, Yuki poked his head through the door.

"Indeed. I still do not understand the appeal in watching a fowl conduct investigative behavior," he noted.

"Oink," Waddles noted.

"Shhh," Mabel pointed to him, and turned back to watch, "it's the middle of the movie."

"Quack, quack," Ducktective the duck, a white feathered bird with a single cap atop his head uttered to a mole standing before him, both overlooking a tall cliff. At the bottom of the screen, subtitles appeared, saying, 'Mole-iarty, this game of cat and mouse needs to end'.

The mole, wearing a long black coat with a large monocle before its eye, uttered a series of squeaks and snorts, which were translated as, 'The game only ends until the tail of either are caught, my old nemisis. Soon, all fair will be... fowl'.

"QUACK!" Ducktective quacked, and then lunged at the mole. The subtitles only read as 'You've gone too far!'.

"I am most perplexed," Yuki admitted.

"Then you're thinking too hard," Mabel rolled her eyes as she grinned, eating up every moment of the blockbuster movie that came out two years ago.

"But how do we truly know what the duck is saying? I... is there a psychic who can translate duck and mole into English? Human technology and physiological adaptation must have advanced much more than I thought," Yuki scratched his head, removing his cap and letting his leaf-like extensions breathe.

"You're definetly thinking too much about this," Dipper added in a mutter.

"I take it that's an expression," Yuki added, shaking his head as he started to turn away, "I do not know how one 'thinks too hard'." From behind Yuki, Grunkle Stan shoved past and walked into the room, scooping up the remote from Mabel's cupped hands.

"Hey!" she protested as Stan turned around and clicked at the TV, where the movie was replaced by a news broadcast.

"Shush, this is actually something important," he told her with a grumble, "Soos! Wendy! Get in here!" he added with a loud call to the hallway.

As the two called stepped in, along with Yuki and the six stood around the TV, a newscast by a tall, sharp and mildly curvy looking woman with long, wavy brown hair began.

"Good morning Gravity Falls, I'm Shandra Jimenez with an update on the most talked about event this year so far," she stood before the repairing building of the convention center, where in the distance, a large man with red hair helped lift bags of concrete to workers on scaffolding next to him, "the disastrous failure of the Gravity Falls Business Convention, held by local effluent family Northwests."

"Wait, was that filmed?" Dipper gasped, replacing his seat with his journal and notepad.

"No way dude," Wendy replied to him, staring at the TV, "no one cared about that thing until all your stuff went down." Dipper eyed her next to him, and bit his lip, pointedly looking away after a second.

"While not many of us truly cared about the events within," Shandra spoke candidly, "half way through the day, a calamity stroke, and the visiting representatives lives were put at risk. That is, until the culprit of the attacks, one 'Graupner Kinley', "a flash image of the Warlock, now in orange prisoner jumpsuit as he held up his innmate ID, "was arrested and put behind bars."

"Yeah!" Mabel cheered happily, leaping into the air. From next to her, Dipper, Soos, and Yuki all gave her high-fives in regards to their performance. Mabel allowed Waddles also a high five, which he bopped with his nose.

"Quiet," Stan told them his eyes fixed, "this part," he pointed.

"Yet new light has been casted onto the events- that Mister Kinley was not alone in this course against the convention," Shandra explained, and the TV flashed to a recording of police leaving the Gravity Falls station, along with a dark skinned man in a bow tie, "as an investigation has undergone the whole event. We were able to speak with one Omir Steindorf, who has taken a personal interest in the whole situation."

"As it stands, the businesses who attended will not seek to expand their companies into this area, and for good reason," Omir said to the camera, his voice authoritative and commanding as he looked around to the various microphones, and a single misplaced turkey baster, "if people like Mister Kinley are able to roam at will and cause the amount of financial destruction as he did, there is no reasonable way this town will ever see further improvement."

"Whoa," Dipper gasped, looking to his sister, "that's pretty harsh."

"But what troubles me more is this," Steindorf continued to speak, looking at the camera, "is that this objective of his, of Graupner's, was far too well organized for one man. We are under the suspicion that two are involved, if not more. Until we come to terms with this mystery and justice is delivered, I advise any and all to stay out of Gravity Falls. It is a dangerous town."

"Oh... wow," Wendy gasped, her mouth falling open.

"Stay out of Gravity Falls?" Soos repeated, "but, like, no one really get's hurt... right?" he asked around, to which no reply came.

"Mister Steindorf, the owner of the multi-billion dollar industrial corporation 'Steindorf and Co'," Shandra was back on screen, walking around the site, examining the wreckage, "has stated that he will be overseeing the investigation personally. The Steindorf Co will also be overseeing the re-construction of the convention center; a joint effort by the Northwest family. Remember- report any and all suspicious activity to the county police. Stay safe, Gravity Falls. Up next, the weather report- hot days are ahead! Dress for the sun!"

Grunkle Stan clicked the remote power button, and his television turned off, tossing the remote to the side. Ringing silence and the dying static buzz of the television shyly reverberated in their ears, until Stan sighed and put a hand to his eyes.

"This isn't going to be too good for business around here," Stan admitted with a sigh.

"I think the shack should be the least of our concerns," Dipper reminded his Grunkle, shaking his head.

"That's _Manor_ to you!" Grunkle Stan whipped around, pointing at him. "And I'm not talking about the building, or heck, making money here," Grunkle Stan said with a warning. "I'm talking about our safety."

"You're... really?" Wendy folded her arms.

"This is a new side to your, Stan," Yuki said with a small smile.

"Quiet! Look, I believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger," Stan said around, holding a hand to Soos' and Dipper's shoulder, "but to get stronger you actually have to survive first!"

"Right, there's that little important part," Soos nodded in agreement.

"What are you saying then?" Dipper asked.

"Well, since the Gleefuls walked out of town, it's been quieter around here. With this Graupner character busting up entire buildings just to scare people away from town, things are getting dangerous," Stan told them, "just be careful, okay? I know we like taking a risk here or there, but really. No more running off to fight a monster unless we're all together or you know exactly what you're up against."

"Really?" Mabel asked, "wait, you're in on this too?" she asked Grunkle Stan, her eyes widening.

"If we think it's dangerous, yeah, I'm there," Stan told them with a grunt. Mabel bounced over to him, clutching her arms around his sides, applying an ungodly amount of pressure. "OW! MABEL! SWEETHEART!" Mabel let go, her wide smile from ear to ear, and Grunkle Stan just laughed. "God, you remind me of me."

"I'll do a better job at shaving my body hair than you!" Mabel admitted.

"Well, if there isn't anything else I didn't want to hear from you lot," Grunkle Stan shook his head and clapped Yuki's shoulder, "Soos, you and Yuki are going to work on my car engine next."

"Aw, cool! El Diablo is getting a re-haul!" Soos pumped the air as Yuki groaned.

"NO! Just the engine," Stan whipped around and pointed at Soos, "no decals. Ever."

"Staying old-school classy, got it, Mister Pines," Soos nodded. Waddles squealed, and gnawed on the carpet edge.

"Yay," Yuki said, a bitter tone to his voice, "more chances to make my hands filthy with combustion engines. Just what I wanted."

"Glad you're excited," Stan told him, patting him on his back as he lead them away.

"That was my first attempt at sarcasm," Yuki muttered as he left the room with the two.

"I feel kind of bad for those two," Mabel admitted, "they were just as important three days ago."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded as he glanced to his sister," they aught to get a break."

"Dude, you know Stan," Wendy shrugged as she leaned on the borders of the doorway, watching the three leave, "if it works, use it until it drops."

"But without those two, we may never have caught Graupner," Mabel argued, "they should get a little more praise."

"Sometimes, I think the only praise Stan gives out is when he's beaten by someone," Wendy suggested," and unless Stan decides to start throwing punches at Yuki, he'll never fight back," she informed them with a sigh. "Then again, at least you guys _did_ totally rock."

"Aw, shucks," Mabel turned her face away, waving a hand for Wendy to stop the compliments in her mimicry of coyness. Dipper just shrugged and walked over to his seat, lifting the journal into his lap with his notepad.

"What? Dipper the brave isn't getting a say on this?" Wendy asked, on the edge of laughing. Mabel also was shocked. Dipper just shrugged again, and peered into the journal. "Ohhh, already onto something more important," Wendy nodded, creeping over to Dipper, who tensed up a she walked over. He slowly pushed the note-pad out of sight as she stood next to him. "What's the next thing?" she continued, "proving if time-travel is possible?"

"Uh," Dipper looked between her and Mabel. With a burst of clarity, Mabel understood Dipper's fear- there was something he didn't want to show to her. Another time, Mabel may have exploited him for a giggle, but not today.

"Uh, hey Wendy," Mabel blurted out, catching the red-head's attention, "could you be super-mega-awesome and check the mail for us? Got a sneaking suspicion we got... stuff."

"Yeah, sure dude," Wendy shrugged and walked off, turning back for two 'finger-gun' pointers at Dipper and Mabel before vanishing down the hall. Alone for the moment, Mabel sighed and fell back to the floor, where Waddles strode next to her and sat again. Dipper had also sighed, but huffed afterwards, and pushed the journal and notepad back into his face.

"Still looking for answers?" Mabel asked as she pulled the tossed aside remote closer to her.

"And getting no where," he grumbled, picking at his nose pointedly.

"Dang dude," Mabel crossed her arms, puffing out her lip as she thought, "who would have thought that some of our next mysteries would be about our friends?" Dipper said nothing, and Mabel continued as she absentmindedly patted Waddles. "I guess it's one of those weird things that happens only as you get older, you know? Mood swings here and there, hair starts growing in stupid places, people begin to expect adult-results but don't treat you like adults," Mabel listed and sighed, "and now mysteries of people we thought we once knew."

"It's just annoying," Dipper grumbled, slapping shut the journal in a loud clap. "I've been close with Wendy for, like, ever. Okay, so we weren't pen-pals or anything," Dipper tacked on and continued, "but if someone hides a secret in town, it's always crazy!"

"Soos' secret wasn't crazy," Mabel pointed. "Having bad birthday mojo seems sorta normal."

"One case is the exception, not the rule!" Dipper retorted heatedly, pushing himself from the chair, and lowering his voice as he pulled out his note-pad. "I've been making a formal list of things that Wendy could have gotten involved with."

"Dipper, c'mon-"

"First," Dipper continued, spewing out his theories in a hush, "she's gotten involved with some sort of supernatural cult, which Robbie may have been involved with. It would explain why Midian-"

"The witch," Mabel said.

"-would have been an asset to Robbie. Second, she's in league with a possible group of supernatural creatures, in a bad way."

"Isn't that basically the first?" Mabel asked as Dipper paced around her.

"Kind of. Unlike a cult, these creatures may have different ideals- like the fairies from earlier this summer. Or gnomes! What if she owes the gnomes something, and she's actually a slave to them?"

"That would be horrible!" Mabel gasped, "Jeff is a huge jerk! He'd probably force her to be his make-shift royal steed and ride her into battle. Sick man," she added with a groan.

"And then... what I'm afraid for," Dipper gulped and looked directly at Mabel as he read aloud the final possibility on the chart, to which Mabel stared at him, "possibility number three... she's not Wendy at all."

"What!?" Mabel gasped and pulled her head back.

"Think about it! Mabel, I've been thinking about some things, you know?" Dipper flipped several pages, and began to read out observations, "she doesn't hang out with her friends any more. Mabel, remember last summer? She _always_ hung out with her friends!"

"She told me that she had a falling out with them," Mabel defended.

"Maybe, but Mabel, I was thinking about when we got Tambry in here," Dipper said to her, "she freaked out. Like Tambry was going to come alive and attack her for some reason. Why would Wendy ever act like that?" Dipper asked.

"Hey... you know, she acted the same way when I told her Grenda and Candy were coming over," Mabel blinked and pointed to him.

Dipper gasped and scribbled down her note. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I dunno! It happened weeks ago, and I didn't think of it until just now dude," Mabel shrugged, "I don't constantly think about the world of me and Wendy, unlike you," Mabel retorted. Dipper's face grew red and he stumbled for words.

"I don't- Mabel that's-" he cleared his throat and continued, "not only that, she's... I think hesitant to go into town," Dipper stated, "I coulda sworn she's tried getting us to go in time to time, but I don't really have a specified date down for that one, "Dipper admitted, and the his eyes grew wide, "Ah! Then there's this!" he pointed to the list with his pencil, "I thought she was just being awesome, but winning a staring contest with a rock golem, which doesn't need to blink? No. That's weird," Dipper admitted.

"She won that contest? Wow," Mabel admitted, "that's still kind of awesome."

"If it is Wendy," Dipper reminded her, and paced back and forth again, "She didn't react in pain with that shard of the wardrobe in her back, doesn't seem to blink, and doesn't want to talk to people who know her? Mabel, what if Wendy isn't Wendy?"

"Like she's not what she seems," Mabel tagged with an air of suspicion. Her mind began to weight the evidence with her own feelings on the matter, a delicate process which took a few moments of self-deliberation. Finally she sighed, and shrugged. "It's not... impossible," Mabel said to her, "but dude, we're talking about, like, the perfect clone then or whatever. And we already ran into those robot clones! And a shapeshifter, again! What the heck-lee-doodle is there that she could be?"

Dipper watched his sister and finally rolled his eyes. "I... I don't know," he admitted, "that's where I'm getting stuck. This book has a lot inside it, but I can't seem to find anything that comes close to the evidence I have. No monsters, curses, or spells quite fit the match!"

Dipper sighed and sat back onto the chair, pushing the journal into his lap moodily and opening it. "I'm not done looking through everything though. At this rate I'll be done by tomorrow."

"And if you can't find anything that fit's Wendy's spookiness?" Mabel asked letting Waddles nibble on the edge of the remote. To this question, Dipper looked up and to her, and scoffed, looking back inside.

"I'll find out," Dipper told her.

"What if you can't?"

"I _will_."

"Dipper, just ask her."

"No!" he gasped.

"Why not?" Mabel demanded, wringing the remote in her hands with alternating squeezes of her hand.

"Because- because-" Dipper ran a hand over his face, up through his hair, "because would she tell me? Huh? If someone holds a secret like... well, whatever this is," Dipper shrugged and desperately darted his eyes around, unable to properly articulate the ridicule he thought, "they're not just going to tell because I asked!"

"You don't know that," Mabel argued, her calm easy and calm. "For all we know, this is just one crazy misunderstanding and she just is going through a rough patch."

"If we were anywhere else, yeah," dipper nodded his head, and then quickly shook it left to right, "but we're not anywhere else: we're in Gravity Falls."

"Bro-"

"Not only that, lets say I do ask her. She says no, nothing is going on. What happens when there's still something going on, but now she's got me on her radar?" Dipper demanded. "I'd never figure it out! Ever!"

"Hah, like she's a plane tower," Mabel chuckled, despite Dipper's glares, "beep boop, you are clear for take-off into conspiracy land."

"Mabel!"

"I know, gosh darn it, Dipper," Mabel clenched her teeth and sighed at him, "and what happens now? You just sit there, taking more notes while this gets you in a worse and worse bad mood?"

"... I'm not in a bad-"

"Mood? Harken," Mabel cupped a hand to her ear as Dipper covered his face with the journal as he peered into, "I do believe-eth I hath uncovered a falsehood!"

"Shush," he grumbled.

"Pffft, you're just angry that this is close to home, and you don't know what's going on," Mabel pointed out, and clicked on the TV. Dipper shoved the journal aside, his eyes wide and his lips pulled taught as he glared angrily at the back of his sister's head. "I can feel you staring," she told him as Ductective and Mole-iarty continued to battle on the cliff edge.

"Aren't you?" Dipper demanded, his throat sounding clenched.

"I am a little, yeah," Mabel admitted with a sad sigh, "I don't like the idea that Wendy is keeping something from us, you know?" Mabel said as she scratched Waddles' ears, "but everyone has secrets. Like Grunkle Stan did, with Stanford."

"And look how well that turned out," Dipper pointed out.

"Dude, she's helped us _soo_ many times," Mabel propped herself and turned to stare at him, her brows furrowed. "This isn't someone we just met, like Jace or Jess, where it's okay to be suspicious. Wendy has had our back, like, a gajillion times."

To this response, Dipper's angered facade dialed down and he looked away. With the journal in his lap and a hand on his cheek, he stared at the hallway, a strong and evident mope clearly presented.

"Dude, I get you," Mabel told him, "you want to figure it out. I do too," she said as Waddles nudged Mabel with his nose anxiously. "Don't worry, buddy," she cooed to her pig, "he's just worried about his girl-friend."

"She's- Mabel!" Dipper hissed through clenched teeth as he leaned out of the chair, his face reddened again. Glancing to him, Mabel's cheeks bulged out and she guffawed until she belly laughed on the floor. Watching her roll side-to-side, Dipper growled and crossed his arms together.

"That's not funny, Mabel."

"It is a little," she jested with a grin.

"Dudes!"

"Speak of the devil," Mabel joked to Dipper as she pushed herself up, prompting Waddles to take her spot on the carpet.

"Mail's here for you," Wendy's voice echoed from the shop down the hallway.

There was news the twins hadn't been expecting. With an interested shared look, they marched out of the room, Dipper leading the charge out and towards the red-head. Walking at their careful pace, they rounded the corner and turned into the gift shop, where not one, but two women stood at the counter.

"Arline!" Dipper exclaimed, some of his weight in his heart fading away.

"Hey guys," Arline winked to Dipper with her grin as Mabel rushed forward and gave her a hug, "you two having a good recovery?" she asked, looking between them.

"Heh, considering what we dealt with, yeah," Dipper nodded gently. Mabel was less humble.

"Consider we kicked Graupner's butt you mean! I could totally go for round two! Man to girl! See what's coming to him," she added, giving the air around her speedy jabs.

"Let's not tempt danger," Arline told them, a hand on her student's shoulder, "we were lucky mister Steindorf was able to knock him down like that, otherwise we'd be dealing with two bad guys out there."

"Do you know who the other is yet?" Mabel asked her master. Arline shook her head, looking to Dipper and then Mabel.

"I was under the impression coming here that only the Warlock was the problem. Two now? I'm no longer sure what's going on," she admitted with a distant look. A small shake of her head later, she grinned and turned to Mabel. "Anyway, I'm not here to get everyone nervous."

"A little late for that, dude," Wendy chuckled as she flickered through one of her magazines.

"Good, because it means you're here to pay rent," Grunkle Stan's voice called as he stepped inside. Aside from the tone of voice, Grunkle Stan's body language was anything but inviting. His eyes squinted as he studied Arline, and his arms were folded tightly as he marched over.

"Stan," Arline nodded, "sure, I can pay for the day," she said in a passive tone.

"Great," Stan told her as he held out his hand, now behind the twins, "that'll be eight hundred."

"What!?" Arline barked, looking up from the wallet, "you're joking."

"No, I'm not," Grunkle Stan said.

"That's double what I paid yesterday!" Arline yelled, her wallet along her side.

"Wow! Isn't that a fact?" Stan informed the group around them. Ignoring the shocked faces of the twins, he looked back to Wendy and said, "ring her up."

"Uh... okay, Stan," Wendy nervously looked between the two of them. "That'll be eight hundred, ma'am," she added after a careful glance to Arline. The woman was frozen in her spot. Muscles carefully moved as the master martial artist lifted her credit card and handed it to Wendy.

"Top class resorts are worth it," Arline gritted her teeth as Wendy took the card and swiped it. "Thank you," she quietly told Wendy as she collected her card, aware that eight hundred dollars had just gone down the drain. "Well, Mabel, Dipper, here's that thing I found by the door," she said, and lowered a single post card. "If you need me, I'll be in town for the day. Gotta check things out."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes, "you're certainly good at keeping order around here, aren't you?"

Arline whipped around and stared at him, eyes ablaze behind those circles of blue. For a moment, Dipper wanted to step aside and pull Mabel with her; as he wasn't sure if a jet of flame was about to be thrown at his grand uncle. Arline merely grinned, and nodded to him.

"At least I've taught them a thing or two about getting through the things you leave them with," she remarked as she turned and left through the door, leaving Stan spluttering and twitching angrily.

"Ohhhh, oh-ho-hoooh, so clever, huh?!" he demanded at the closed door. When no reply came, he scowled, and turned to the three pairs of eyes on him. "What? I've got a business to run, and she's been taking up one of my rooms for almost a month!"

"It's been only two and a half weeks since she got here," Wendy corrected him.

"Whatever. I'm missing prime opportunities to scam entire families with merchandise," he defended himself as he dusted off a series of bobble heads on the desk, "which is the real money maker. So I'm just compensating since she doesn't buy anything here."

"You still don't have to be so mean to her," Mabel told him.

"If she doesn't like it here, she can go to another motel in town," Grunkle Stan informed them, turning away and scratching his back. "Let me if anyone who actually wants to buy my stuff is here."

"Sure, fine," Wendy said, shaking her head as he departed, leaving the three alone. "Jeesh. I haven't seen him his uptight since three years ago."

"I hope it's not us," Mabel admitted, her gaze faltering.

"It's not," Wendy said, her voice confident and soft, "this is just Stan being stupid about something. You know he can be like that about stuff- stubborn and mean. But anyway- what's your letter about?" she asked, pointing to the postcard in Mabel's hand.

"Hm- OH! I bet it's Jace and Jess!" Mabel exclaimed, and quickly gave it a look-over. To her surprise, the handwriting didn't match that of the last one, and the post-card was from, of all places, Gravity Falls. "Someone locally sent us a postcard?" Mabel asked in surprise.

"Who?" Dipper tried, walking around her shoulder to look at the writing, which Mabel began to read out loud.

"Ahem. Dear Mabel and Dipper Pines," Mabel said, and rolled her eyes, "heh, that's us. Anyway," she continued after receiving a look from Dipper, "You guys really impressed me with our last little adventure in the woods. I've decided that retirement isn't exactly what I pictured, so I want to keep busy. I could use your help though. You think you could stop by the day you receive this letter, or whenever? I have something a favor to ask. Anyway, hope to see you two crazy adventurers again. Zan-" Mabel squealed and suddenly held the letter closer to her, smothering it into her neck with loud squeaks of excitement.

"Who?" Wendy asked.

"Zander Maximillion!" Mabel yelped, hopping around in circles as she pressed the postcard to herself. "He actually sent me, ME, a postcard! OH MY GOD!"

"Us a postcard," Dipper reminded her, not at all impressed with Mabel's behavior. He stood there, glaring at her maddened hops, and eventually reached into her reach and yanked out the post card. As Mabel stopped and swatted his shoulder, he examined the paper. "It was written yesterday. He is supposed to be in town, isn't he?" Dipper asked. Mabel nodded feverishly. "Why didn't he just come over, or whatever," Dipper asked them, turning and looking to Wendy.

This proved a mistake to the young teen's mind. He suddenly felt a overwhelming wave of guilt and anger as he stared into those green eyes as she shrugged and grinned back. So much confusing and conflicting feelings mixed up as he looked to her. She was a liar. She was a friend. She was a mystery. She was his crush.

"Maybe he's trying to keep publicity to a minimum," she suggested, "you know- retire in peace sort of thing?" She asked, looking to the two of them. Dipper's eyes lingered on her a tad longer than he wanted. "Dipper?" she asked, to which he coughed and looked away.

"Sorry, just a thought I had," Dipper covered hastily, covering his face as he forced out two more small coughs.

"Dipper, we should go see what he wants to do with us!" Mabel declared, still hopping up and down on her feet.

"Hah, yeah, maybe tomorrow?" Dipper suggested, and leaned in to Mabel, "so I can get a bit further into that other thing I'm working on? You know?" he asked her. Mabel gasped and grabbed him.

"Dipper, we just got the mail from the greatest rock artist alive, and he wants to see us again! Personally! Us! IN PRIVATE!" she shrieked and spun around a few times, nearly whipping Dipper's face with her hair. "Dipper, we can't just pass up on that!"

"Why not?" he inquired with a trying look.

"Because he asked us in the card to come whenever we got it," Mabel pointed out. Dipper sighed and glanced behind him. Wendy was watching them with a half-smile. Was there a thought behind her eyes? Dipper didn't know. Those darn feelings were coming again, and he turned away, staring into the desperate pleas of his sister, who begged him silently. It was better than looking at the girl behind him.

Dipper groaned, cupped his eyes with a slap over his face, and nodded. Mabel roared, and spun around him in blistering fast circles. "Let's rock, brotha!" she declared as she swatted his back in a proud clap, and ran outside in a rush that would have made the speed of light envious.

"One sec! Grabbing my stuff," Dipper grumbled as his sister left him for the outdoors. Grumbling, he turned and marched back to the living room briefly. Once with his book and notepad, he returned and started to pass by Wendy.

"Dipper, you okay?" Wendy suddenly asked. Dipper paused, and glanced to her. "You seem a little tense, man."

"Uh... just Mabel giving me a hard time," Dipper lied, looking to the door in a huff, as he didn't want to look further into what Dipper assumed was concern in her eyes. "Always going on about boys and stuff. Yeah."

"Huh. Well, you know Mabel is crazy about 'em," Wendy snorted and rolled her eyes. Dipper felt the energy in his false-hood fade, and he turned away from her again, and left. "Dipper? Dude?" Wendy called out as he left the gift shop.

She wasn't her, or she was lying about something big. That meant all of that smiling was just another lie. Wasn't it? Dipper scowled to himself as Mabel turned to him as he approached her by her bike. Her bright smile was met with his saddened frown, and she sighed.

"Cheer up, doofus," she said with a soft pat on his arm. "At least Zander doesn't seem like the kind of person who doesn't hold secrets."

"I swear, everyone does these days," Dipper grumbled without a moment hesitation.

Climbing onto the back of Mabel's bike with only one more glance behind him, Dipper clutched onto the seat as Mabel sped off. Down the gravel road and out of the immediate forest surrounding the Mystery Manor, Mabel drove them around the edge of town, towards the one place the twins had never felt a reason to visit in a long, long time.

As the bike came to a rolling stop, Mabel whistled and slowly removed her sunglasses she wore while driving. "Talk about renovations."

"Yeah, really," Dipper admitted.

The old Gleeful home had been walled around by a tall, sharp looking hedge, with two automatic gates. The nearest to them was a double-door metal gate that protected the drive way. About fifty feet past that was an open gate, built for a single person to walk through. Past the large, nearby metal barrier, the twins spied a single, very expensive and very shiny car.

"Look at it! I wonder if that's a million dollars or something," Mabel asked as she stared at the shining surface of the expensive vehicle distant to them. She finally slid off the bike, and with Dipper in tow, they approached the open metal door. The front yard was perfectly flat grass and several planted trees of small nature. Evenly dispersed at intervals around the cement walk-way, the twins looked at the house itself.

Re-construction had taken the shape of the building and added to it. What used to be a rather large looking cabin like building was now a semi-modern construct. Geometric walls and large windows presented the inside look of the building, which appeared clean and crisp. As they approached the door, music started to drift out.

"Well... okay," Mabel suddenly sighed, and shook her hands hastily at her sides. Her eyes darted around, looking from unseen focal point to another. "Here we go. Whoo. Okay."

"What are you doing?" Dipper asked her, and she jumped a little.

"Nothing. Just..." instead of answering his question, she cracked her neck, and then knocked on the door. Two raps on the door later, and it slid open gently, allowing more beautiful music to pour out. No speakers seemed to blare this source of audible art though. Mabel grinned and gulped as she stared forward, pushing the door further open.

"Mabel!" dipper hissed at her as she stepped inside the well-lit rooms.

"What?"

"We should wait until someone answers!" Dipper told her, waving her back. Mabel shook her head, a shaky smile telling him of her nerves.

"I-it'll be fine. He's cool with us," Mabel told him, and stepped further away. Scowling in indignation, Dipper stepped past the threshold of the welcome mat and into the building, coming next to Mabel as they followed the source of music.

It was classical, or at least it seemed classical. The tune was filled with passion and energy, bounding through notes at such a haste that it felt like a wild chase through the woods. Dipper frowned; the music in the air was familiar to him. He had heard this tune before- from a movie. No, not just a movie, but a movie theme.

As they found themselves crossing a large, luxurious living room, they stopped at a side-sliding door. Just outside, in a porch made of white stone that overlooked a large grass-filled backyard, Zander Maximillion sat on a fold-out chair, a guitar resting in his lap. With a realization, Dipper and Mabel saw another figure before him, her eyes closed.

Pacifica Northwest sat by a piano under a porch umbrella, rocking her body back and forth as she pressed the many keys of the piano. Dipper blinked with Mabel. They hadn't seen the similar aged girl before them so calm. She looked dream-like, swaying in her seat as she effortlessly played the piano with her eyes closed. Opening them with a small sigh, her sight flickered towards the twins, and she shrieked and pushed herself up.

"Hey! What the heck are you two doing here?!" she demanded, blushing in the face and holding her hands behind her back.

"Huh?" Zander continued to strum the guitar as he had been, and eyed the twins. A smile grew on his face, and he winked to them. "Hey! You guys got my postcard."

"We didn't mean to interrupt," Mabel assured them, and looked at Pacifica, who was bending below her, picking up a large bag of music sheets. "You sounded amazing!"

"See?" Zander also turned to the blond, who slowly lifted her head from the piano.

"Well... I was just... keeping up with you, that's all," she told him with shake of her bangs before her forehead.

"Man you're quick to throw away a compliment," Zander chuckled.

"Wasn't that the Larry Motter theme?" Dipper asked. Zander grinned and again looked to Pacifica, who snorted.

"Of course you would know that, you nerd," she grumpily said, and walked around, wrapping the book-bag around her shoulder.

"And not only that, he knew exactly what it was!" Zander pointed out to her as he stood up as well, holding the guitar aside, "like I said: Music is music. Good music distinguishes itself from the bad, but genre knows no borders of quality."

"Ugh, fine, whatever," Pacifica rolled her eyes, but she let a grin creep into the corners of her mouth.

"Are you taking lessons from Zander?" Mabel asked, her eyes sparkling as she came to this conclusion. "That's got to be the coolest thing ever!"

"Well," Zander shrugged and stepped towards the twins, ushering them all inside his home with a wave of his hand, "I don't know about coolest thing ever, especially since Pacifica didn't get a say in the matter."

"Huh?" the twins said in unison.

"My dad's idea," Pacifica told them with a heavy sigh.

"Her dad has the crazy idea that his daughter should be skilled in as many things as humanly possible," Zander told them as he lackadaisically tossed his guitar to a couch as he stepped towards the kitchen, leading them away, "and the exact topic of those, uh, teachings are only up to him."

"Sounds like your dad," Dipper muttered, giving Pacifica a shake of his head.

"Not everything changes around here," Pacifica told him with a sigh. They had entered the kitchen, and Zander slid open the refrigerator, and started lifting water bottles.

"At least you have Zander as a teacher!" Mabel pointed out, and grinned at Zander as he shrugged. "You guys must have... just so much fun."

"I don't know... do we Pacifica?" Zander asked, his eyes twinkling as he slowly closed the door. Handing one bottle to each of them, he grinned as Pacifica finally gave in a smiled. "Yyyyyyes!" Zander pumped his hands into the air, "still got it! I can teach to save a life!"

"You've always got it," Mabel cooed. Dipper smacked her side, glaring at her until she straightened herself upright.

"So, uh, can I go home then, Mister Maxim-"

"UGH!" Zander gasped, having just handed out the water bottles to the three before him. He shuddered and pointed to her. "What did I say? Only rule I have!"

"Fine, okay," Pacifica quickly nodded, "Zander," she corrected herself, and he grinned, "am I okay to go home?"

"Yeah. I'd say so. Unless you want to help out these two with a little something I'm working on," Zander suggested as he passed by the three. They followed, Mabel closely behind, and Dipper after Pacifica.

"Miste- uh- Zander," Pacifica again caught herself as Zander leapt over a foot-rest and onto the couch, bouncing the guitar into the air and catching it with ease as he sat down, "I've got tons of stuff to do at home. I'm even surprised that my dad let me work with you at all."

"What!?" Mabel demanded, "but he's the greatest musician ever!"

"Not by a long shot," Zander told Mabel with a shake of his head.

"Besides, I thought after the mess at the convention center your parents kinda had their hands full?" Dipper pointed out. As Mabel nodded in agreement and Zander slyly looked between them all, Pacifica balled her fists up.

"Yeah? And guess who has to deal with the insurance policy claims!?" she demanded to them. "My mom and dad are constantly like 'Pacifica, responsibility is part of being a Northwest. Now go deal with the six-hundred calls'," she heatedly told them.

"Well gosh, don't make it sound like we did anything good for the town when we stopped Graupner," Dipper remarked, crossing his hands in his chest. He already had enough dark thoughts piled into his mind from Wendy to deal with. He didn't need or want anything else Pacifica might have to offer.

"Hey, I didn't say anything like that, tough guy," Pacifica retorted, puffing her hair behind her shoulder as she tightened her gaze onto Dipper. "I just have to deal with more than the clean up."

"Sounds horrible. Next time, we'll just let the marauding golem go crazy and destroy everything, okay?" Dipper snapped. Mabel turned to him and gave him a glare as Pacifica snorted.

"What's got your underwear in a knot?" she demanded heatedly.

Before Dipper could reply, no doubt angrily, Mabel pushed him aside and down into a chair as she spoke. "Dipper's just dealing with some stupid stuff at home. Mystery trouble; you know how he gets when they aren't developing fast enough," she informed Zander and Pacifica.

Pacifica rolled her eyes and looked away from her ex-boyfriend, while Zander merely nodded his head and continued to smile pleasantly, occasionally strumming a note on one of the strings.

"Well, uh, I can go though, right?" Pacifica glanced to her new teacher. He nodded silently. "Okay. See you next weekend," she said, and started away.

"Wait," Zander called to her, not even bothering to watch her go. Yet she did stop, as his voice was just barely strong enough to command her action to follow his suggestion. "What did you learn today?" he asked her. Pacifica turned and stared at him.

"All instruments require breath control," she told him. Zander laughed and plucked a four strings, ushering a wave of beauty that made Mabel's legs tremble.

"Close. What did you learn- not what I taught you," Zander informed her.

Her blue eyes gazed at him until her lips split and she smiled. "Music is music," she said.

"It knows no boundaries," Zander added and winked to her. "You can go. Good job today," he added, and then pointed to her, "and remember; there will always another day."

Pacifica only nodded once before turning and leaving, having the twins all alone to their eccentric and preposterously rich friend. He leant back to the couch, the white pillows illuminated by the light from above. The wall behind Zander was a large painting- abstract and a collection of otherwise entirely undistinguishable streaks of paint. From his seat, Zander looked between one another, and continued to pluck his guitar.

"So, as it turns out, retirement is really boring," he told them curtly. Mabel giggle, and Dipper nodded. "Like, really, really, really boring. One of the only reasons I decided to teach Pacifica was because... god I'm just so bored!"

"Wait, you didn't call us over here for some crazy advice, did you?" Dipper demanded, staring at the older man.

"Nope," Zander shook a finger to him as he let the guitar fall to his side, "I said I needed your help, and your help I do need. So, pow-wow with me," he said, ushering them closer. Mabel nodded eagerly and quickly sat next to him. With a groan, Dipper pushed himself up and strode over, plopping down next to the man. Once both were present, Zander grinned and wrapped his hands around their shoulders.

"Okay, so, imagine this," he started, painting a picture with his hands as he wove a story, "you're a musician who's always made music. It's what drives you. It makes you _you_. Then, one day, you decide that you're done with the spot light, but you want more of what you love. So, what's the first logical step to take?"

"Make a garage band!?" Mabel gasped, so excited with her prospect that she squealed. Dipper shook his head.

"I don't know. What?" he asked bluntly.

Zander was unphased by Dipper's low-energy. "Make a new website for yourself!" he proclaimed. Mabel clapped and cheered next to him. "Cool, huh!?" Zander asked.

"I'm totally going to check it whenever I find a computer with enough power to use current internet," Mabel told Zander. Dipper shook his head, looking between the two.

"Wait, you mean you pulled us all the way over here to help you design a website?" he demanded.

"Nope," Zander grinned, "I've got money and time to do that on my own. What I need you from two is something a little more... unique," he told them. "You see, having a status like mine makes it hard to go anywhere without people trying to take pictures of you left and right. So I can't sneak around, say, in the woods and find something really cool on my own," Zander explained, "and, say, get a high-definition picture of it for my background of the website."

Mabel gasped and held a hand to her chest. "Wait, wait, we're going to go into the woods and find something, and take pictures of it for you?" she asked. Zander nodded, and Mabel replied in kind, bobbing her face up and down so fast it was a blur. "Yesyesyesyes of course we're going to do it!"

"Wait, Mabel!" Dipper said, his teeth gritted. The other two turned to face him. "What about what Grunkle Stan said?" Dipper reminded her, "and what... you know, we're already doing?"

Mabel squinted to him, and then shook her head. Dipper reached around Zander, who leaned forward, and the twins spoke. "What? He didn't say bring something dangerous back- just find something to take pictures of or whatever. That's not dangerous."

"Fine, sure, whatever," Dipper hastily agreed, "but I wanted to keep on the whole, you know, Wendy thing?"

"Dipper, she's not going anyway, jeesh," Mabel told him.

"You don't know that!" he hissed back.

"So, if you guys want, I can wait in the kitchen while you two discuss whatever," Zander told them, tapping his fingers together as he awaited them. Mabel grunted and pushed away from Dipper, coming around to see Zander.

"No, no, it's okay! We'll do it," she informed Zander with her brightest, widest smile. Dipper's mouth fell open, and he scowled as Zander clapped his hands together.

"Awesome! Look, I was going to rent a camera for this tomorrow, so just do me the favor of finding something first. I want it to be sort of atmospheric- mysterious, but natural. Nothing crazy like machines and technology," Zander explained as he stood up. "You ever going to drink those?" he pointed to the bottles in their hands. Mabel's had nearly slipped from her grip as she was pointed to, and Dipper shook his head stiffly, and placed it on a coffee table before him. "Okay then. You guys need any help or, you know, whatever," Zander pointed to them as he turned back towards the porch, "I'll be here, chilling. Bored."

"We will-"

"Yeah, we'll come back later," Dipper said, standing up and nearly pulling his sister up with him. "See you later, Zander."

"Adios, amigos," Zander called as the twins exited the building in a rush. Once outside in the front yard, Dipper relinquished his grasp over his sister. Pulling herself away from him, she scowled.

"Okay, really bro?" she asked, straightening up her sweater, which he had slightly wrinkled.

"Yes, really," he said, walking past in a deliberate march.

"Okay, what the heck is eating you?" Mabel demanded, rushing around him. When he said nothing, she huffed and threw her hands into the air. "Really dude? Still Wendy?"

"Yes!" he shouted in reply, "of course I'm mad about it! I want to find out why my friend has been hiding a secret from me for who knows how long! Don't I deserve to know that!?"

"Dipper, we don't know _anything_ about what it is she's hiding from us!" Mabel pointed out, "this isn't like McGucket or anyone like that! There were a few signs about what he was up to, but what signs have there been before this summer that Wendy ever hid anything from us?"

"Nothing! I know it's nothing! But that means it could be recent," Dipper told her, "what if... what if she's caught up in this Warlock guy? Huh?"

"Dipper, do you really think that?" Mabel asked, her hands holding her elbows in support.

"Don't patronize me!" Dipper yelled. "I don't know what to think, and I don't like that!"

"Oh my god, Dipper, calm the heck down," Mabel demanded, her own voice raising, "I get it!"

"Then why are we doing this stupid thing for Zander?!"

"Okay, first of all, not stupid," Mabel held up one finger, "two, because he's awesome and cool and we should want to know him just as much as we know Wendy," she held up a second finger, "and third," she lifted her third finger, "you aren't making any progress with Wendy. Take a break!"

"Yet! I'm not making any progress YET!" Dipper shoved a finger at Mabel's face.

"Dipper, you haven't made progress with Wendy in three years," she sighed and rolled her eyes.

A still silence fell over Dipper. Mabel stared at him, her eyes studying him as he watched her back. Maybe it finally dawned on Mabel what she had just said, but no amount of fidgety movement could aid her. She gulped and looked away, her eyes starting to sting as Dipper's stare become colder than had been in a very, very long time.

"So _that's_ what you really think of me with Wendy," Dipper said quietly in a slow nod.

"Dude, I was just being mean," Mabel said, brushing the end of her nose with back of her wrist.

"And I bet honest, too," Dipper pointed to her, shaking his head, "well, good for freakin' you. Bravo. BRAVO!" he yelled to the sky, turning around as he forcibly laughed. "The biggest secret was in front of me the whole time! LIKE IT ALWAYS IS!" Dipper screamed, and kicked at the metal gate towards Zander's home.

"Dipper, stop it," Mabel hissed at him.

"You've always thought I never had a chance, huh?" Dipper demanded, pointing to himself. "So all those times you just stood there, watching me figure these feelings out, you've probably been holding back laughter!"

"No! No, Dipper, I just-"

"Well, you know what," Dipper felt his throat become tight as he marched quickly to her, causing her to flinch and take a step back, "fine! At least I have some consistency with what people I choose to like!"

"Wha-what's that supposed to mean?" Mabel asked.

"You know exactly what I mean," Dipper shook his head. "Just what exactly is the similar feature of all the people you've tried dating, huh? Mermando? Gabe? Norman? Jeff?!"

"That's not fair!" Mabel shouted back. "I was twelve, Dipper!"

"Oh, yeah, forgot about anyone in high school you may have tried dating, and then Jace, and now HIM!?" he pointed to the home, "an actual rock star?!" Mabel's lip quivered as she watched him hatefully stare at her. "You think you have a chance, a CHANCE with him?! But then you can swing around and tell me I have no chance with Wendy? REALLY!? Here; a free lesson from your brother: the word hypocrisy! Look it up!"

"Shut up!" Mabel shouted back, "at least I can move on when it's not working!"

"So true! _Sooo_ true!" Dipper growled, his entire body shaking as he pointed at Mabel furiously. "Glad you could give me some of your great life-lesson advice, MABEL!"

Two loud blares of a police siren startled the twins. They whipped their red faces towards the street, where a police cruiser had slowed down to a stop. As the window dropped down and showed Sheriff Blubs, he leant out and eyed them through his dark sunglasses.

"So, uh, everyone fine over here? Zander Maximillion doesn't need loiterers in his front yard," Blubs stated officially.

"Especially not kids," Durland added.

"WE'RE NOT LOITERING!" Dipper screamed at him.

"AND WE'RE HIS FRIENDS! GET LOST!" Mabel screamed as well.

Blubs and Deputy Durland, who sat next to him, stared at the fury of the twins. Without another word, the window slowly ascended back up, and the cop was protected from their wrath by a thin veil of glass. As the patrol car pulled away, Dipper and Mabel whipped back to one another.

"You know what, Mabel? I think you're right," Dipper told her, and then turned himself around and started walking away.

"Huh?! The heck kind of stupid mind game is this?" she demanded as he continued away.

"No, no mind game. I'm just taking a leaf from your book here," he called over his shoulder as he marched away, following the road away from the old gleeful, now Maximillion house, and towards the Mystery Manor.

"How is 'leaving the discussion' my idea?" Mabel asked, trying to follow. Dipper spun around, and pointed at her.

"You want me to just be able to 'pick up and leave what I like alone', do you!?" he demanded as he passed the hedges. "Fine! Go drive home on your own."

"What? Dude," Mabel ran up next to him, but he side-stepped her and continued away. "Dipper, stop it. It could be dangerous out there."

"I said leave me ALONE!" he yelled and spun, nearly headbutting her in the face. "I don't want you _near_ me," he said through a scratchy voice. His eyes stung as well, but he dared not act on anything unless absolutely needed. He didn't want to show any signs of weakness. Not now.

Mabel stared into those eyes of his and slowly backed up. She looked ill, with her face going from red to a pale pink as she fought to not twist her mouth into a horrible frown. Without another word, she spun away, a hand over her eyes as she marched from Dipper. Dipper didn't bother to watch her go all the way back to the bike.

He just kept marching down the street, following it along the side as he shoved his hands into his pockets. At some point he felt and heard the rush of Mabel's motorcycle pass him. He didn't even look up to see if it had actually been her. It didn't matter.

No longer was there a heaviness in the chest- that dark pit in his heart had been taken away. No longer did he feel guilt from suspecting Wendy; just deep, uncompromisingly angry fury. He didn't feel the stretch of his skin, nor the pulling of his muscles as he clenched them. Then again, he just felt the absence of pressure in his chest. He felt so empty.

He had been betrayed by his own sister. All this time, this entire summer, and possibly longer, she had thought his feelings towards the girl of his... well, dreams, just a sad, pathetic joke. All the times he thought her attempts at getting a girl, and he rolled his eyes and thought she was rushing herself... had she secretly resented that? That question seemed to answer itself now.

Dipper felt a cough-like gasp escape from his lips. It hurt. That feeling of his sister having so readily turned on him, just like that, it ate at him from the inside out. His feet carried himself further, feeling the wind of the world fade into noise no louder than the beating of his heart, or the shallow, ragged breath he struggled to take. He just kept walking, pushing himself further and further.

Then he ran into a tree.

"Ow!" Dipper held his nose, more startled and harmed- with exception to his pride. "GOD DAMN IT!" Dipper shouted and kicked at the tree with the base of his foot. He had not watched where he was walking, and started to turn into the forest. With his breathing settling down, his sight focused, and spotted something far, far off past the initial line of trees.

Colored lights. There were many colored lights ahead, glowing out in auras past the trees. Dipper gasped and hid behind the tree he had just kicked. It could be anything.

With a peek around the curve of the plant, his eyes peered through the vegetation, trying to discern what laid ahead. It wasn't still light, where a constant beam or sphere remained still, but it wasn't moving around, per-say. What Dipper saw was some sort of aura- something shimmering past the forest just bright enough to catch his eyes.

Bitterness resolved with his curiosity. He could not only get back at his sister and lead Zander to this spot without Mabel's help, but he could also discover something on his own. Again.

With a pat of his hat, securing it on him, Dipper stepped around the tree and moved forward. His first worrying thought, fairies, seemed possible. He and Mabel hadn't ever figured out how far their reign of the forest extended to, and those lights did remind him of those they saw before. Yet, with each crinkling step through dry, dead twigs Dipper took, he heard more and more of something else that sounded familiar to him. A humming, so gentle and eerie that it felt like a dream. With a gasp, Dipper pushed past the last tree, and let his eyes bask in the sigh before him.

Crystals. A massive growth of crystals, taller than the Mystery Manor itself loomed before Dipper. He had seen such mineral deposits before. With a grin, he started patrolling around it. That had been easy! Much easier than he anticipated!

To his surprise, no bright was focused out from any side of the geometric shape. Instead, as Dipper stared at it, he realized that the humming sound was a direct result of a discharge. At the base of the huge crystal, a series of smaller, human-sized ones scattered around in various, constantly changing colors. Between them all, occasional bursts of static darted from one to another, like they were all electrified.

A sample.

Dipper needed one- if not for Zander, but then for himself. He had never read something like this being in Gravity Falls before. Well, crystals, yes- but ones with altering properties that could be observable. These crystals reminded him of those cylinders that Uki-Dohth's people had used for running the robot clones.

"Here we go," Dipper said to himself as he found one small enough to probably pry from the dirt with his hands. Reaching down, he clasped his fingers around the edge and-

ZAP.

"OW! JEESH! GOD!" Dipper yelled as he stood up and turned, waving his hand through the air. His entire body had just felt burning hot; presumably as every single cell in his body felt the surge of electricity flow through him. His hand and body all tingled, his nerves finally calming down from the over-load of senses.

With a sigh of relief that nothing horrible had happened in the minor mishap, Dipper leaned against the closest tree, his hands in his pockets. Yet... he felt sore. His chest was tight, heavy even. With a worried groan, he felt his chest, afraid his heart may be a little shaken up still.

His hand met his shirt much sooner than it should have. Dipper looked down. His chest extended out now. It was... rounded.

"W-wh-what?!" Dipper demanded. His chest felt heavy. It was rounded. And, with all-encompassing fear, Dipper felt a strange 'missing' of pieces. Without thinking, Dipper grabbed onto his chest, and then his face. His facial hair was gone. In its stead, he felt pressure under his beanie. Long, brown, wavy hair flowed past his shoulders to the middle of his back, and Dipper let out a strangle cry.

"I'm a GIRL!?"

He was no longer a he.

Dipper yelled again, feeling the changes over his body. Things missing, things added; new hair, no hair- it was all overwhelming and deafeningly scary. He had just been turned into a girl! A real teenage girl!

Dipper blinked, and looked back to the crystal. The shock back would be worth it- damn the consequences!

Lunging through the air and reaching out, Dipper grasped the crystal and closed his eyes as he landed on the dirt and let out a loud 'oof'. The new addition of breasts made the landing less tolerable. As he groaned in pain, trying to ignore the please for him to stand back up and relieve the weight on them, Dipper realized he had grabbed the crystal. His fingers were still around it, and nothing was happening.

"Oh... oh no!" Dipper shrieked, and then shot up instantly. "Wait...no!" Dipper gasped and held a hand to his throat, "NO!" he shouted again, realizing his voice was changing. "No, c'mon man! I already got teased enough about this! I don't need this again!" Dipper shouted at the sky, and kicked the nearest crystal angrily. It neither broke nor budged.

Dipper continued around, grasping and touching any and all crystals he could. None of them gave him the sweet, blessed result he craved- to be turned back to his natural gender. All of them seemed... inert to him. Like they refused to talk to him now. Dipper grew more and more panicked, frustrated, and soon was shouted at the ground as he pulled at his hair.

"I... I can't do this alone," he told himself, feeling the changed voice similar to how he always sounded, but softer than usual, and oddly smooth.

He needed to find someone else to help him. Anyone else.

Wait, no, not anyone. He needed someone he could trust. Someone who knew about these sort of things. Someone who could actually help him with theories and ideas, as opposed to just going crazy about the supernatural being real. Then again, Dipper shuddered as he considered letting Grunkle Stan see his new look. His great uncle would never let it go that he had become an actual girl for a day. Or... forever.

Dipper shook his head; daring to think that only made him feel sick.

There was Soos of course. He never judged anyone for anything without dang good reason. Then again, Soos wasn't always the most logical thinker of his friends. Mabel was out of the question. Dipper didn't want her help, and if she found out that he had gone off on his own to spite her...

"And Wendy's out of the question," Dipper muttered to himself. "Yuki doesn't like lying to people, so he could tell someone about this... wait!" Dipper leapt into the air, and gasped. There was someone he could get help from without anyone knowing. "Arline!" Dipper exclaimed.

He started back towards the roads, but slid to a halt. Arline had said she was leaving for the day. Arline would be somewhere in town, and while Dipper cared less what the townsfolk would think if they realized he had become a she, that was room for gossip to spread, and it would probably find its way to the Mystery Manor.

Was there truly no one Dipper could now turn to without life-ending embarrassment?

Dipper blinked as a man's face winked at him in his mind, a stirring memory of not too long ago. With a long breath and equally long sigh, Dipper realized the appropriate irony of the situation. The only person, within reason, Dipper could turn to for help in this matter was also the very same person who had sent him and Mabel out in the first place.

Angry as he was to admit it, this would be another time Dipper prayed his sister was right about something, and Zander Maximillion would be as cool as he acted. Dipper self-image and entire sanity depended on the crazy-rich retired rocker down the street now.

* * *

That's what you get for being all dramatic, Dipper. Turned into the opposite Gender.

But seriously, I bet you all weren't expecting sommathat tension, huh? Hopefully it wasn't unwanted. After all, I claim this is a comedy first, an adventure second. Then again, without dat drama, what would ever be funny? Or stuff. At least the funny stuff comes in part two. Or I should say 'more funny stuff'.

Zander has his second appearance! Along with Pacifica! Yay side characters!

Now, not about the story itself, a HUGE thanks to those who already started working on posters and character drawings. I've loved ALL OF THEM! They're soo freakin' cool, you guys! Like there's one now of Yuki on Deviant art, and the phoenix from Episode Six of season one; and those are just the COMPLETED ONES! So to my talented artists who think I'm worth drawing for, I thank you a bazillion times. What you've done is so cool. Keep doing it! :D

Now I take my leave. Until next Sunday, my friends! Or until you review and have an account: because then I will just reply to you and have a nice little chat. THAT'S A HINT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT REVIEW ANONYMOUSLY! GET ACCOUNTS SO WE CAN CHAT!

(A swarm of reviews in the form of arrows streak through EZB's window and rapidly impale him to his wall.)


	36. Fender Gender: Part 2

The life of the retired rock artist wasn't glamorous, and this was what Zander Maximillion found so appealing in it. There were less flashes of light, sweaty nights on stage, angry managers, and attacks from pseudo-religious fanatics. It was quiet, and at a pace he determined.

But man was it boring.

Sitting on his couch, Zander plucked at the strings of his guitar, eying between the instrument in his lap to the one he had only just brought it, taking up much of the once empty space. The piano gave him an object to stare at, but only that. With a sigh, he stood up, preparing to play a note or two on the large music-machine.

With the ringing of the doorbell, Zander spun instantly around, grinning with the smallest hint of uncertainty. Up over his chair he jumped and through the short hallway he moved. Finally he unlocked the door and found a familiar figure before him.

"Dipper!" Zander leaned on the side of the doorway, eyeing the boy before him. There was something odd about him- his hair was... long. "Nice wig," Zander pointed to him, "what's it for?"

Dipper Pines, now female, stared up at Zander. _She_ had pulled her vest tightly together, in attempts to avoid anyone noticing the changes to his body. What she couldn't hide as well as her chest, was her voice. Dipper opened her mouth and coughed. The voice was too high pitched. Again she lowered the tone. That was it- that was her old voice.

"Hey, uh, Zander," Dipper started, her now more skinny hands in her pockets, "mind if I come in for a sec?"

"Sure dude," Zander nodded and stepped aside, adjusting his scarf around his neck as Dipper shuffled past. "Man, that's got to be the nicest wig I've ever seen."

"Ha ha, thanks," Dipper managed to force out as she turned towards Zander's kitchen. "Uh... do you mind if I have some water, or something?"

"No!" Zander roared, and then grinned at her. Walking over to the refrigerator, the door whisked open, and Dipper saw the contents. Water bottles- lots of water bottles. "Here you go, man," Zander winked at her as he tossed one to Dipper. Someone pre-occupied, Dipper half-caught it, having one half hit her in the neck.

"Ow," Dipper grumbled, rubbing her neck. Zander eyed her, and Dipper realized she had groaned in her new voice. With a cough, she adjusted and shrugged. "Thanks for the water," she told him, doing her best to stay within her old sounding tone.

"No problem. So, what's brought you back to my humble abode?" Zander asked him, leaning on the counter, watching Dipper open his drink and drown half the bottle in a single swig. "Or did you just need water that badly?"

"Uh... not exactly," Dipper admitted, her cheeks flushing.

The plan had been to get to Zander, inform him of the change, and then enlist his help in switching her back. Yet as her eyes looked around at the strangely clean kitchen, Dipper wandered if she should thought a tad more than just the arrival. Now, in his presence, as a woman, Dipper felt very nervous. What if Zander got all... flirty with her? Or worse yet, had the exact same reaction she was sure Mabel would have.

To her horror, Dipper watched Zander's eyes widen, twinkle, and he sighed.

"Ahhh, I see," Zander said with his trademark perfect smile.

"Wh-what?" Dipper stumbled, splashing some water on her vest. Zander pushed off from the counter and stepped closer to her. With a hand on Dipper's shoulder and a pleasant smile on the man's face, Dipper swallowed quickly and stared at him.

"I thought I noticed something," Zander stated, pointing at Dipper. With a sigh, Zander, nodded to the hallway, "follow me."

Dipper had already begun to sweat, her neck and hands becoming clammy as she felt the droplets of moisture accumulating around her fingers. With her pace just behind that of Zander's, they moved towards the living room. Was he going to try seducing her? Why else would he go to the living room- where he could serenade her with the guitar? Or maybe the piano? Dipper didn't know where she had been realized- what gave it away? Her voice only cracked once or twice...

Then Zander walked all the way through, pushing open the sliding door, and nodding for Dipper to follow. "You're not afraid to get dirty are you?" Zander asked as he stepped into the porch.

Dipper felt sick as she felt her stomach lurch. "W-what?!"

"Put these on," Zander tossed a pair of thick leather gloves to Dipper.

Dipper blinked and stared at the very nice, smooth gloves in his hands. They were wide and cumbersome looking. Looking back to Zander, Dipper saw the man step off the porch and towards a pair of small bushes by the hedge, still in plastic pots.

"You ever garden, Dipper?" Zander asked her.

"I, uh, not really," Dipper admitted sheepishly.

"Everyone should at least once," Zander told her as he lifted both large plants into the airs around his arms, "shows you the difference between neglect and care."

"I... okay," Dipper laughed to herself and slipped the gloves on. This guy wasn't the strangest man she had ever met, but was certainly among the more mysterious. The champion of metal and lead singer of Duskhope liked... gardening? "So what are they?" Dipper asked as she stepped up to Zander as he walked to the far end of the hedge maze, where a single worn gate stood. Past the gate was the green wilderness of the Gravity Falls forests.

"Wolfsbane," Zander told her as he placed each by either side of the door. Dipper gasped as she stared at the plant.

"What!? But they're crazy rare to find, and stupidly expensive!"

"Yup. Thousands of dollars just to have them shipped from Romania," Zander told him, and then pointed to a small table to his side, "go grab a hand shovel or something." Dipper nodded as she stood, and approached. The list of small gardening tools was impressive. Dipper found one she thought would perform the task, and turned back. As she got to her knees, feeling the soft grass underneath her, Dipper glanced back to Zander just as he plunged his own hand-shovel into the back-lawn, and started to cut out a circle.

"How... how do I-"

"Just cut out a circle in the grass, and then dig a hole two feet down," Zander answered, not bothering to look at Dipper as he followed his instructions. Dipper nodded and hacked away, chopping up the grass as best she could. "Pace yourself," Zander told Dipper with a glance over, "if you fight this, you and my lawn will lose."

"Dang- sorry-"

"It's okay," Zander grinned and looked back to his circle. "So," Zander continued after a moment of the two cutting into the lawn, "I heard you and Mabel fighting outside."

"What?" Dipper dropped her shovel and looked back to Zander. The rock star still wasn't looking at Dipper. She continued to weave the garden incision with care. "...sorry," Dipper apologized as she wandered how much the man may have overheard, "we kind of let that get out of hand."

"Just a bit," Zander stated, and winked at Dipper. "You want to tell me what's so important that you scared away the cops from my yard?"

Dipper paused from her cutting and digging to think. The topic was, partially, the man sitting across from him, digging into the earth. This was, as Dipper's offended mind thought, a chance to get back at Mabel. Tell him that Mabel was head-over-heels for him and that she keeps making rash choices because of how she feels towards others.

"Uh... well," Dipper paused her angered self, and took a breath, "there's this guy she likes, and there's this girl I like," Dipper started out. Dipper waited for Zander to ask anything, but he was silent. "And we had a little argument about how we feel... about those things. And that's it."

"Hmm," Zander hummed as he continued to work, and glanced over to Dipper's work. The teen suddenly understood why he was staring- Dipper hadn't accomplished nearly as much work as Zander had. She bent down and continued to cut and dig. "Sounded rough."

"Yeah," she nodded as she dug further, "we've just got this mystery that I want to solve, and I wanted to be working on it more, but Mabel's been more interested in other stuff," Dipper sighed.

"With this boy of hers?" Zander asked.

"Yeah."

"And you with Wendy?"

"How did you-"

"Dipper," Zander chuckled and gave her a glance, "I'm a musician. It's my job to hear things."

"Well... yes," Dipper nodded as she sighed. "I used to like her a while ago. Mabel and I don't live up here- we just visit our Grand Uncle Stan. Last time was three years ago, and I, well, liked Wendy then."

"Cute," Zander said as he started lifting dirt out from the hole. "And you still do?"

Dipper stared at the circle outline in the patch of dirt before her. The answer used to be straight forward, and one she wouldn't want to share. Yet Zander seemed... surprisingly understanding. "It's kind of complicated."

"You're learning more about her then," Zander said as he began to wiggle out the wolfbane plant from it's plastic case. Dipper gaped as she watched Zander glance to him and continue. "Look, there's nothing wrong with young love, but when it comes to truly understanding someone, there's more than just what they show to the world."

"Yeah, I noticed," Dipper grumbled as she dug some more. "She's been hiding stuff from me."

"Everyone does that," Zander told her instantly.

"But it could be important!" Dipper shook her head as she she dug harder and faster. "This is a town about crazy mysteries and monsters! What if she got involved with something that hurt her? Or could hurt us? And she won't tell us?"

"Yeah, she may not," Zander shrugged.

"Why? I thought she trusted me," Dipper added as she turned to the plant and stared at it. Then it hit her- she was looking at a rare plant and had dug a hole for it. "Why do you need wolfsbane, anyway?" Dipper asked Zander, turning around to look at him as the rock star lowered his plant into the dirt hole.

"I hear the occasional howl in the night," Zander informed him casually, "just want something around to ward away any werewolf that thinks I could make a good meal," Zander said, and finally let the plant sit in the hole. After a sigh, he looked to Dipper and grinned. "I don't think you're thinking about this clearly, dude."

"But if she's lying to me, me of all people," she continued, "the guy who always solves mysteries and crazy stuff, she can't actually trust me!"

"Well," Zander started to push dirt into the hole with his gloved hands, "you're not wrong. But you're missing a crucial part of the equation. Her own trust in herself."

"Huh?"

"Dipper, if someone holds something so secret they won't share it to anyone," Zander told him as he patted the new patch of dirt, "people began to question themselves. Who can they trust to not vanish when they finally learn the secret. Imagine you held a secret for all your life," Zander pointed to Dipper with his own shovel, "you'd begin to think either nothing of it or everything of it. If you began to think everything of it, the idea of someone discovering that secret would terrify you."

"You think she's scared?" Dipper asked, leaning closer, "of what?"

"Loosing friends, maybe," Zander suggested, and stood up, "friends are easy to get, but harder to keep over time," Zander lifted the second bush from it's pot and Dipper scooped up the last bit of dirt, "because we all can find people we can relate or like, but when we find out more and more of what makes them tick, we need ourselves questioning that friendship."

Dipper nodded, and watched the plant descend into the hole. Some of the leaves brushed against her hair and face- soft to the touch but firm in form. Once situated, Dipper pushed the remaining dirt back in, and stood up next to Zander.

"Real relationships need care," Zander said as he looked at his two newest plants, "they need reminder why they stared in the first place, but have to be willing to grow. Like-"

"A garden?" Dipper suggested, turning to Zander, "you really brought me out here for a life-metaphor?"

"No, I brought you out here to plant something for me," Zander grinned and winked at him. As he turned and nodded for Dipper to follow, he pointed to the tools scattered about, and Dipper went to pick them up. "Dipper, in the end, you have to be willing to understand a friend's reasoning and accept that they make choices that may seem selfish, but are for what _they_ think are in everyone's interest."

"I... I guess," Dipper shrugged, her arms full of tools, "if that's the case, what do I do?"

"See, there's the problem," Zander grinned as he talked away, "it depends on what you want more- answers, or trust?"

"Why can't I have both?" Dipper demanded as he laid the tools down on an outdoor table by the house.

"You can," Zander told him as he stepped onto the porch, turning to look at Dipper, "but just not at the same time. One usually comes after the other." Dipper groaned and put a hand to her eyes. Zander laughed and put a hand to her shoulder, grinning, "dude. If you really like this girl, you know your answer already."

Dipper lowered her hand and stared up at the rock star. Those eyes that were constantly filled with energy and buzzing with life seemed to have calmed. He stared into the soul of a man with wisdom, something he would never have expected from someone who spent his days before crowds of wild fans, screaming and singing his strongest.

"So, you and your sister got into a fight about you and Wendy and this boy of hers," Zander said, "and I believe I heard some angry things from the both of you."

"Yeah..."

"Doesn't sound like you meant it if you're feeling this bad over it," Zander told him as he turned and walked towards those glass sliding doors, "c'mon in. I'll get you another water."

"Thanks," Dipper nodded as she stepped inside and made his way for the couch. Sitting down, she pondered her real intent for being here: gaining help with her predicament. Zander had mildly derailed his plan, but she couldn't hold him against that. The man had organized his thoughts in a strange way. All Dipper could do was grin to herself. Finally Zander appeared, holding a bottle in his hand. He slid next to Dipper on the couch, handed her the bottle, and sighed. "You're not thirsty?" Dipper asked.

Zander gave a watery smile. "Nah," Zander shook his head, "go ahead." Dipper nodded thanks and took a swig of water. As she felt the cool liquid splash down her throat, there was a pair of eyes on him. Zander was staring at him. "You started shaving?" Zander asked, looking to his chin.

Dipper gasped and put a hand to her jaw, feeling the now smooth line. She had forgotten entirely about her growing facial hair. With a gasp, she realized that she may never get the chance to see her proud scruff again.

"Dipper?" Zander asked, "you okay?"

"I'm... no," Dipper turned and looked to Zander. _Now or never_. "After my fight with Mabel, I went into the woods. I was going to find something you liked alone... you know, to spite Mabel," Dipper admitted, and Zander rolled his eyes. "What I found... uh... changed me."

"That crazy, huh?" Zander asked. Dipper stared back as the rock artists awaited further answer.

"It literally changed me," Dipper said, and removed her beanie, "this isn't a wig."

"Woah! It makes you grow hair!?" Zander asked, "that would be freakin' awesome," Zander said, feeling his own shoulder length blond hair, "maybe I could get it to grow past my shoulders and pony-tail length."

"Uh... it doesn't just make your hair longer," Dipper steadied himself, and finally he let it be said with his newest voice, "it turned me into a girl."

Zander blinked and looked at Dipper, glancing up and down. After a moment, Zander began to smile wider and wider until he chuckled. Then he laughed. "Dipper," Zander said he shook his head, "you're not a girl. Look, voices come and go, and that's just puberty being a jerk. Don't get all self-critical because-"

Dipper groaned and rolled his eyes. "No! It... added certain things."

Zanders smile was frozen in place and his eyes grew wide. After a moment, the rock star's mouth dropped to neutral, and he stared at Dipper, examining his body carefully at a distance.

"Uh... I don't know if I want to provoke a reply, but... I'm not seeing it," Zander admitted.

Dipper groaned, and in a burst of resilience and desperation, she did the only thing he thought would prove his point. Dipper grasped the zipper of his vest, pulled it down, and let the pressure on his chest fall away. Dipper felt the release and drop, and his face heated up by easily twenty more degrees than usual, as it did admittedly feel nicer.

"_WHOA_," Zander gasped and looked away, holding his hand between his face and Dipper's chest, "Okay, wow. That was... they did look... uh... real."

"They are real," Dipper told him, "I found crystals that turned me into a girl," Dipper told him, "and they aren't turning me back," Dipper added, her voice cracking at the worst part of the whole ordeal.

"Okay. So, uh, do you think you could zip 'em back up, dude?" Zander asked, still not looking towards Dipper, "don't need to, eh, see them any more." Dipper pushed her newly acquainted breasts back into his vest, feeling the cry of resistance as she zipped her vest back up. Zander turned back, slowly checking to see if his view would not include Dipper's newest additions. "Phew. Okay... so... you're a girl."

"What do I do?" Dipper demanded, leaning closer to Zander.

He shook his head, eyes wide as he stared back at Dipper. "I-I-I don't know! Why the heck did you come to me first with this!? You and your mystery club by the Mystery Manor seems a lot better choice than _me_!"

"I... I wanted to go to someone who wouldn't make fun of me," Dipper admitted, lowering her head as she felt her strength drain. Next to her, she heard Zander sigh and then Dipper felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Well... I'm happy you think I'm that kind of guy, Dipper. I am," Zander nodded his head, but continued to look at the changed boy, "but unless you like your new gender-"

"No! I'm a guy! I want to stay a guy!" she declared.

"Like I thought," Zander nodded. "Then we need to get you help that actually knows a thing or two about this."

"Like who?" Dipper asked. Zander crossed his arms and stared. "No. No way!" Dipper shook her head, stepping up from the couch. "They'll make fun of me for the rest of my life if they know I turned into a girl! And how would I explain this to Mabel!?"

"The same way you would if you had changed your skin color to green or something," Zander told him, "by asking her for help."

"She won't want to help me," Dipper groaned, pulling her new longer hair, "we were jerks to one another. Why should she help me?"

"Because you're her brother," Zander told him. Dipper sighed and leaned against a wall, finally prompting the man to stand up and walk to him. "Dipper, I think Mabel is the kind of person to find the humor in this- "Dipper scoffed, but Zander held a hand up, "albeit, she'd have bad timing with it... she isn't the kind of person to turn you away when you really need her help."

Dipper's heart knew this to be true. It wasn't just true for Dipper: but for everyone. Mabel almost never turned away anyone when they really needed her help. Only those who had made enemies with the twins had she sworn to not help, and even then she always had wished she could. Dipper finally sighed and nodded. "I... I just wanted to not have her lord this over my head for all time."

"Hah!" Zander laughed, and shook his head as Dipper glared at him, "you think that's bad? Man. You must think the rest of your life is this summer, because people make mistakes. Wait until Mabel really, really screws up, and then you can tease her about it whenever she brings up your whole gender-crisis. Heh. Gender-crisis," Zander snickered to himself. Dipper cleared her throat, and Zander shrugged. "Just was funny sounding."

"Fine. I'll ask if Mabel will help me. But what about my Grunkle Stan? Or Wendy!" Dipper gasped, a hand over her heart, "she can't see me like this!"

"Dude. It's not as bad as you think. You're passable as your normal self as long as you tuck your hair... and keep that vest tight," Zander added as Dipper did his best to stuff his hair inside the fabric beanie, which began to bulge awkwardly. "Eh. It'll do," he shrugged as he turned, "c'mon. I'll drive us there."

"You're coming?" Dipper asked.

"Course I'm coming," Zander told him as he marched away, "part of the plan."

"What plan?"

"The brilliant, awesome plan I have," Zander told her as he opened the front door, beckoning Dipper to follow. Once Dipper moved from her wall and outside, Zander continued. "So I'm going to go in first, and make a scene. No one will think any of it because I'm a celebrity. Then, you'll sneak inside from one of those crazy side doors. Everyone will be too busy to realize that you're in the background, grabbing Mabel and whatever else you need."

"That... is a good plan," Dipper acknowledged, "Okay, I'm for it."

"Yeah!" Zander cheered, pumping at the sky with his fist, "awesome! Let's solve this problem and get you your penis back!"

"HEY!" Dipper screamed, hands stiffening to her sides.

"... what?" Zander asked, looking towards Dipper sheepishly, "you... did loose that, right?"

"I'm not even going to answer that question," Dipper told him as her face went beat red. Following Zander towards the driveway, Dipper saw the glorious sports car that was Zander's ride. Polished, smooth and sleek and black in color, it reflected the light pouring from the sky like an obsidian. "Man, this is cool."

"It was a gift," Zander said, "first off the line, so they decided that a celebrity should drive it around and stuff. Jokes on them though- I rode around in a bus until last week."

Dipper was careful as she tracked around the side to the front passenger door. Once inside with Zander, she gasped at the amazing and ridiculous designs that the inside had. She was looking at what appeared to be an entire computer terminal: a massive touch screen for every feature of the car. The wheel's design was covered in leather with red lines around it. It felt like a super-spy car, and Dipper reveled every moment she sat in it.

"One second," Zander said as he pressed a button on the touchscreen, and the gates behind them swung open. "Hold on dude," Zander said. With a press of his thumb to a small scanner next to the wheel, the engine roared to life.

"What do you mean- WOAH!" Dipper gasped as she was lurched forward. The car went from zero to thirty in no time what so ever, and then as Zander straightened up the vehicle and sped forward, the G-forces pressed Dipper against her seat. Zander was laughing already as Dipper re-aligned herself, straightening up and stuffing loose hair back under her hat.

"Warned you," Zander told him with a chuckle.

Dipper pushed herself forward, feeling the strain of the forces as they leveled out to a more moderate speed; the car was slowing down mildly. "Yeah, no kidding. I felt my heart in my throat."

"Got to love a little adrenaline once in a while," Zander said.

"I feel adrenaline too often. Try switching genders,- it hurts!" Dipper proclaimed, which Zander laughed and nodded.

"I bet!" he turned the car down one of the outlying streets, and started towards the Mystery Manor's direction. "So. Your sister. Got a plan of action?"

"I, uh, guess apologize and ask her to help her stupid brother out, before she has a sister for the rest of her life," Dipper grumbled and poked her fingertips together.

"Sounds solid. Sister's love hearing that their brother is dumb. Must be one of those weird genetic things," Zander guessed as he shook his head in thought.

"You make it sound like you have a sister," Dipper said to Zander. The rock star grinned and glanced to Dipper. "You do!?" Dipper gasped, and Zander nodded.

"I'm the oldest of three; a sister and brother," Zander told him.

"Wow! Are they musicians too?" Dipper asked.

Zander shook his head as his smile lingered. "Ah, no. That's just me. They were farming and hunting with my dad and mom."

"Farming?" Dipper asked, "you lived on a farm?"

"Yeah. Way, way long ago," Zander told him, "but, you know. Can't stay on the farm forever when you're stuck with a curse like mine," Zander grinned, and looked to Dipper, "I mean music."

"Have you seen them in a while then?" Dipper asked. Zander's eyes dimmed as he looked ahead, watching the road. Zander may have been one of Dipper's newest acquaintances, but he could have sworn the rock artist held back a response. "So, no?"

"I haven't spoken to my family in a long time," Zander sighed.

"Oh... sorry," Dipper said, having seen the energy the man had before him drain at the mere topic of his family.

"Don't be. It's not like there's bad blood between us or anything like that. Life just... had us go our different ways," Zander shrugged.

"You must miss them," Dipper commented.

Zander nodded, and his eyes adjusted as he looked around the road. "Every day."

"You should go visit them," Dipper suggested. Zander laughed and grinned. "What? I thought you said that there was no bad blood between you and them."

"There isn't."

"Then why-"

"One second," Zander held Dipper's words hostage for a second as he turned the car suddenly, and started up the gravel driveway towards the Mystery Manor. "Okay. Only a minute before we're there."

"Right," Dipper nodded.

"And to answer your question," Zander looked to her, "it's because I still have work I need to do."

"Huh? But you retired," Dipper asked Zander. The man laughed and nodded as he slowed the car further.

"Not all work comes from someone's job," Zander told her slyly, "okay. So why don't you get out now, and creep around the woods to the side entrance. I'll make a commotion inside, and get everyone's attention. Deal?"

"Okay," Dipper nodded. Her door was whisked open and she stepped out. Then her mind called one more time to Zander. She spun around, and put a hand on the hood of the car. "Hey... thanks for helping me."

"No problem dude. Everyone needs help then and again," Zander said.

Dipper sighed and closed the door. With her back to the vehicle, she made her way towards the edge of the woods. She could now see the borders of the edge of the forest, and the tall building just past them. The car behind him sped ahead, dusting the air with pebbles and loose rock.

Dipper was able to sneak around to the newest additions of the building undetected. From the border of the woods she approached the building rooms, and found herself on the porch, moving closer to the side and back of the Mystery Manor. She saw Zander park and leave his car. He only needed to wait for a sound of Zander's announcing presence before striding inside, to the door he knew closest to himself.

A moment later, there was a loud outcry, and Dipper swallowed. It was her turn to act. Quietly and softly as she could, she pulled open the doors that lead to the back hallway, which would lead to the kitchen and bathroom, and eventually the tour rooms. Her feet softly pressed against the floorboards as quietly as she could, moving herself down the hallway. With a quick glance as she passed a doorway, she saw the gift shop. Grunkle Stan and his crew were all present as Zander spoke to them.

"I was hoping I could have a tour set up sometime in the near future?" Zander asked.

"Oh! But of course!" Grunkle Stan nodded feverishly, "now? Tomorrow? Both?"

"Eh, further in the future than that," Zander said as his eyes darted towards Dipper and he gave the man trapped in a woman's body a tiny nod.

Dipper gulped and stepped past the room. Mabel's training had paid off, and Dipper was able to contain her movement's volume to a minimum. Up the stairs she climbed and turned to the left, finding the decorated door that she was certain she would find Mabel in. With a sigh, she pressed her hand against the door and knocked loudly.

To her surprise, Dipper found no reply. Not even a groan, or gasp. Not even a squeal. Instead, as Dipper listened intently by the door, she heard something behind him. Across from their room was the bathroom, and Dipper was certain he heard a small noise inside. With a glance back to her own room, Dipper made for the bathroom and knocked.

"O-occupied," Mabel's voice sniffled through the door. Yet another side emanated from her side, and Waddle's oinks found Dipper.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked quietly. There was a short pause, with exception of a confused squeal from Waddles.

"Who is it?" Mabel asked, "Dipper?"

"Yeah," Dipper said, not bothering to mask her voice. "I'm back."

"One second," Mabel said from inside. Dipper listened for a moment longer, hearing the scrambling sounds of someone rustling around. Then there was a loud bang, and Mabel groaned loudly.

"Mabel!" Dipper gasped, and pushed open the door without considering waiting, afraid she would have hurt herself.

Mabel indeed was on the floor- one foot was out of the small bathtub, and the other was crooked and still inside, along with the rest of her body. Dipper stared at her and sighed. She was rubbing her head, but it seemed more or less she had just bumped it against the tiled back of the wall. Then Dipper saw Mabel's face; she had red cheeks and puffy eyes.

"Mabel, you okay?" Dipper asked as she stepped closer to her sister.

"I'm okay," Mabel shrugged, "just chilling in a bathtub with my pig." Waddles nudged against Mabel's arm. He too was in the tub, his beady black eyes looking from Mabel to Dipper, where he paused and stared. Dipper wasn't certain the abilities of animals, but he was certain the pig noticed the changes.

"Is your head okay?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, just a stupid little bump," Mabel waved her away.

"What were you even doing in here?" Dipper asked with a chuckle. "Hiding in the bathtub from a fire-elemental?"

Mabel sniffled as she looked at Dipper. Only the tiniest warning prepared Dipper's mind for the coming cry. Mabel placed her hands on her face as tears fell from her eyes. Dipper stepped over and leaned down, next to Mabel.

"I just feel so-"

"Me too."

Mabel looked up, her tears free-falling as she shook her head at Dipper. "Well you shouldn't!" she told him defiantly. "I was being the huge jerk when I said that... that you and Wendy hadn't... UGH!" she buried herself into her arms. Dipper sighed and nodded.

"I'd by lying if I said that didn't sting a bit," Dipper admitted.

"_See_?" Mabel demanded and continued crying. "That has to be the meanest thing I've said to you in forever. Ever. I can't continue being your sister," she decided and lifted her head. "You are now free to choose a new sibling."

"Mabel, stop it," Dipper told her, pushing her hands to Mabel's shoulder. "I egged you on."

"So?"

"So?" Dipper repeated.

"That was a low thing for me to do," Mabel said as her lips tremble, "and the worst part about it is- is-"

"You meant it," Dipper nodded. Mabel shook her head but said nothing as her face screwed up. Dipper looked to the ground. "I thought so. But... maybe I needed to hear that," Dipper shrugged. Mabel looked up and stared at her, a squint of the ages studying Dipper in all her form. Mabel looked like she had just heard the word of god.

"What?" she demanded.

"I... you know... haven't made progress with Wendy. Sure, I like her," Dipper admitted with a short bob of her head, "but at the same time I just keep a safe distance from her. Like I'm too afraid to put anything on the line." Mabel sniffed and shrugged.

"There's nothing wrong with that," she tried saying.

"Three years ago, maybe," Dipper told her, "but it's not three years ago. It's now. And I knew she's holding secrets from me. Maybe I need to try something new."

"Who are you," Mabel asked as a tiny smile cracked on her face, "and what have you done to my brother?"

Dipper laughed and put a hand on her head, scratching away the uncomfortable pressure of his large spindle of hair all pulled up under her hat. Without warning, Mabel pushed forward and wrapped her arms around Dipper and pulled her tightly, hugging her.

"You were right too," Mabel said, "I'm dumb for thinking that I... even have a chance with Zander."

"Hey, it's okay to dream, right?" Dipper said as she hugged back.

This proved to be a mistake, as Dipper felt her chest bump against Mabel's. She gasped and pushed herself away from Mabel, groaning at the aching pressure. As Dipper adjusted his shoulders, trying to organize himself, Mabel gasped.

"Dipper... what are you hiding in your vest?" she asked, wiping away her tears. "You sound like your hiding something."

Dipper blinked and looked at the open door behind him. There wasn't a single sound from the upstairs hallway. She turned back and looked to Mabel.

"So... uh... I kind of... um..." Dipper collected her thoughts, "I was angry, and decided to go walking in the woods... to try finding something else to get to Zander."

"Dipper," Mabel said as she pouted.

"Well... I did find it, but... it had an effect on me," Dipper admitted.

"What? Made your crazy dude brain think right?" Mabel asked, poking her hat. The poke shifted the small beanie just enough for the entire thing to fall aside. Dipper's now long hair fell out past her head. Mabel gasped and stared as Dipper tried blowing the hair away in short puffs. "Dipper? You're wearing a wig, right?" she asked.

"No... uh..." Dipper sighed, brushed her hair away, and then undid the vest zipper. Dipper was angry at himself as he enjoyed the freedom from the tight vest, and his chest fell open, restrained only by his t-shirt.

Mabel's mouth fell open.

"I got turned into a girl," Dipper said.

Dipper's sister wasn't moving. She merely stood there, staring at Dipper's chest, and then his face. Slowly she reached out, her fingers moving closer to Dipper's face. "Your face is different," Mabel admitted. With another sudden burst of movement, she grabbed Dipper's chin, and pushed her against her own, and rubbed them together.

"Ow!" Dipper grasped, and pulled away, "the heck, Mabel!?"

"Oh my god," Mabel gasped, her own hands pressing against her cheeks, "no fuzz. No burn! No facial hair! And your voice was a little... wait- Dipper!?"

"Like I said," Dipper repeated, "girl now." Mabel's face exploded in the strangest mix of excitement and confusion Dipper had ever seen. She squealed and leapt up from her bathtub, pulling Dipper up with her into a hug.

"That mean's we can do girl stuff together now! Dipper, what if we go bathing suit shopping together?! Or bra shopping! Ohhh, this could be soo cool-"

"Slow. Down," Dipper demanded of her, yet Mabel commenced.

"Or we could go on double dates with guys, and talk about which one we like more! Oh, this could be soo-"

"MABEL!" Dipper roared, "just because my body's been switched doesn't mean I think any differently!"

"I... oh... so, boys aren't, you know, sexy to you?" Mabel inquired, her hands held together by the fingertips.

"No. I like girls," Dipper told her flatly.

"Wow! I have a lesbian sister!" Mabel cheered.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, her cheeks growing red, "I'm not going to stay female!"

"Oh. Drat. Well, how long does this last?" Mabel asked. Dipper prepared an estimation, but as she opened his mouth, she was unable to speak. In all truth, Dipper wasn't even sure, with her sister's help and Zander's help, they could turn her back. As Dipper held her breath, Mabel stared and her mind began to come to his conclusion. "You don't know?"

"Not yet," Dipper hastily stated, "It could only last for, uh, a day! Or a week... or forever," Dipper admitted, her shoulders falling as the weight of the realization hitting her hard.

"Well, if you get stuck a girl, it won't be _that_ bad," Mabel rolled her eyes, "I make it look pretty easy, but you'll manage."

"Mabel. I don't want to be a girl. I've been a boy for fifteen years, and I don't plan on stopping now," Dipper informed her with a strong voice. Mabel snickered and pointed as his lips. "What?" Dipper demanded.

"You're trying to sound manly, but you have a girls voice," Mabel snickered. Dipper scowled, heat flowing to her cheeks as she glared at Mabel. "Okay, okay, fine, so you're dead set on being a boy again. If that's the case, what do we do?"

"I was hoping you'd help me with that," Dipper said, holding her hand through her hair as she pulled it, "I don't know really what I'm up against, well... and I could use my sister's help to get my stupid butt out of this."

Mabel's lower lip trembled. It was enough for Dipper to smile and reach out for her. The two embraced again, as Mabel nodded. "Duh, of course I'm going to help you, bro-sis."

"Ugh," Dipper let go and stepped away, "don't call me that."

"How about Pine-sis?"

"NO."

"How about-"

"We can go now," Dipper cut her off, pointing to the door with her open hands.

"Fiiiiine," Mabel rolled her eyes and lifted Waddles out of the bathtub. "Wait here, buddy. It's up to you to guard the building," Mabel told Waddles. A small short was given for her, and Mabel grinned as she patted his head. "I trust you, you peachy beastie."

Waddles snorted and followed her and Dipper out into the hallway, and then sat by their door. As Dipper looked down the staircase and slipped back on her hat, she caught the voices of Zander still talking away to the crowd below. Now with her hair tucked back under her beanie, she wandered how they would get Zander out of here without drawing suspicion. Mabel stepped next to him and gasped.

"Is that... who I think I hear?" she asked, looking to Dipper.

"Yeah. He's helping me distract them while I grab you," Dipper told her as they began down the stairs.

"Wait... you didn't tell them?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure that'd go well with them. Hey Dipper, nice gender-switch look, I think you should keep it," Dipper grumbled.

"Oh stop it. They'd want to help you just as much as I do," Mabel told her, patting her hair as Dipper held her arms tightly, pouting. "After getting a good laughing."

"Can we just sneak in and get Zander and rush out please?" Dipper pleaded. Mabel rolled her eyes and shrugged as they made it to the last doorstep. A few feet distanced themselves from the gift shop, and once there, the twins peeked inside from around the corner. There, they could catch the middle of a conversation.

"You'd think that, right?" Zander was saying to Wendy and Soos, who seemed alone in the room now, "but honestly, Robbie isn't as much trouble as you'd think. He's leveled out a bit. We had to teach him a lot of P.R., and that's what sort of smoothed him out."

"P.R.?" Soos asked.

"Public relations," Wendy quickly answered for her co-worker.

"Oh. Well that makes sense- you're the kind of Metal and P.R.," Soos told Zander who grinned and shrugged.

"Make music people want to hear, and then make people want to hear you," Zander told them, "and you have better than fans, you have friends."

"Okay, this isn't bad," Dipper told Mabel as they pulled back behind the wall, "we can probably rush past them and grab Zander."

"Okay. I'll be on distraction duty. You go for Zander, and I'll make noise and stuff," Mabel told him.

Dipper nodded and glanced once more around the corner. She would have to let Mabel take point on this one. Then again, she was already great at being the loud distraction. Dipper only had to ensure she stayed out of the collective noise Mabel would be making, and she could get out without being seen. Dipper sighed, and nodded.

"Go for it," she told Mabel.

Mabel strode quickly around and passed Dipper, and once she stepped inside, Dipper followed her. He could take an indirect route towards Zander, and just pat his shoulder to indicate it was time to go.

"My fellow undistracted friends!" Mabel declared as Dipper stalked the edge of the room, "I come to enlighten thee to the ways of distraction!"

"I don't know dude," Soos said to Mabel, "we're already pretty distracted with Zander being here."

"Yeah," Wendy nodded to Zander, "he just sort of showed up out of the blue and is chilling. Pretty sweet, huh?"

"Yeah!" Mabel shouted as she too looked to Zander, and she momentarily looked as if she were about to sway and stumble, but she grounded herself, "yeah. That is pretty awesome."

Dipper was half way across the room, sneaking upright as she squeezed between two shelves of postcards when she felt a tug on her vest. Slowly turning around to find the source of attachment, she found one of the two shelves teetering now, rocking back and forth as Dipper had nearly pulled it off it's stand. She withheld a gasp and pushed it back to place.

"So, what've you been up to, mister mega-musician?" Mabel asked Zander.

"A little of this and that. After you guys left, I started a little bit of gardening," Zander told them, "had some new plants to put in the ground."

"You garden?" Wendy asked, an eyebrow risen to the new information.

"Yup," Zander nodded, "that yard looks empty, and lawns are too boring. So, I'm planting things."

"Man, talk about swiss army knife," Wendy chuckled, "anything you can't do?"

"Cook," Zander admitted with a sigh, "being on the road made sure I wasn't cooking. So I just order or whatever," he explained with a wave of his hand.

Dipper felt a tug on her vest. Stumbling just short of tripping, she found the edge of a coat-wrack snagging one of her pockets. Dipper scowled and swore in her mind- two times in one attempt to sneak out? The vest would have to be re-evaluated. She tugged her hands at the fabric, pushing it backwards and forwards, un-snaring herself from the metal frame. Too late though; the damage was done.

"Dipper," Wendy called over, spotting her from her counter, "dude, come over here man. Zander's like, just come to chill or whatever." Dipper remained facing away for a moment as the heat of her neck and cheeks slowly drained away like a leaking battery. She whipped around as she found her best attempt at her 'manly voice' and marched forward.

"Hey! Wendy! Soos!" Dipper waved to them as she made a quick march towards Zander, who was eying the boy-turned-girl and her friends. "Hey, how's it going?"

"Oh, you know, it's-"

"Oh yeah, that's great!" Dipper cut off Soos loudly, and quickly side-stepped Zander and found herself behind him, out of sight, "yeah, so, Mabel, Zander, and I are just going to go and do stuff now. Bye."

"What? You're about to do stuff?!" Wendy asked, pushing herself off the counter with a shove.

"Y-yeah," Mabel nodded as she grinned and waved to Zander, who shrugged back, "we'll be, uh, going now to discover the meaning of life."

"Oh! Hold up, I'm totally not missing this one," Soos told them, and reached around the desk and grabbed a large backpack of supplies.

"Soos, uh, I think we can handle it," Dipper tried saying, barely peaking around the rock star.

"Sure can! And you can handle it even better with plus one!" Soos told them, shoving on his backpack to his shoulders.

"Make that plus two," Wendy said, stepping around and adjusting her hat. "We still got plenty of light before Stan starts coming after us with bloodhounds. Let's go solve something!"

"B-but, uh," Dipper asked, stepping around Zander to console her friends, "you know- we just got out of a heck of a dangerous fight with The Warlock! You shouldn't have to get involved unless you have to."

"You kidding me?" Wendy chuckled, "I missed out on messing on the guy who cut you? I'm in on this so much you can't even measure it."

"And dude, if this is dangerous, you should totally get us in on it too," Soos added, nudging Wendy in his efforts to compile reason together. Dipper clenched her teeth together, glaring between her two friends.

"But who'll watch the shop?" Dipper asked, to which Wendy laughed. "What? With what's going on around here, it's a legitimate concern."

"Yeah right. Stan and Yuki got it under control, especially since Stan will be having him fix the oven to be super-tech," Wendy informed them with a sigh. "C'mon dude," Wendy approached Dipper, beaming with her smile, "friends got to..." she blinked and stared at Dipper. A moment passed as Dipper felt Wendy's gaze become confused and uncertain.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Something is different with you," Wendy stated.

"Wh-what?" Dipper stuttered, looking between Zander and Mabel for back-up. Mabel shrugged, but Zander stepped up quickly.

"Nah, he's just having a rough day, you know?" Zander told her.

"Dipper saved his stubble because he's having a bad day?" Wendy asked Zander. The rock artists groaned and looked to Dipper. As they shared a single thought of anticipation, Soos stepped next to Wendy and also stared.

"Hm. Kind of makes you look more feminine, dude," Soos admitted. Dipper's jaw tightened as she felt the sweat in her hands build. Her face too twisted as she fought frowning too much, but Soos and Wendy both saw the changes. "You know, not that it's a bad thing- lots of girls like feminine traits in a dude."

"More, some than others?" Mabel suggested with a giggle. Dipper whipped to her, red in the face. "Sorry, bad timing, I know," Mabel apologized as she snickered.

"Dipper, something's already happened, hasn't it?" Wendy asked, coming closer. Zander didn't stop her advance, and Dipper was left to her own devices as Wendy examined her. "What happened? Are you sick or something?"

"Sick of being a man!" Mabel roared with laughter, and held her stomach.

"MABEL!" Dipper roared at her.

"C'mon, it's a little funny," Zander snickered, and Dipper turned to him, her mouth fallen open in her defeat.

With a final absolute sigh, Dipper reached up to her head and ripped away her hat. In the same quick motion, Dipper then reached up to her neck and ripped down the zipper. Soos gasped and stared, looking between the hair, Dipper's face and the vest and what had been revealed. Wendy sighed, and grinned.

"I knew it," she said as she fought back a grin. "Something changed."

"How... how did you know?" Dipper inquired as she felt a sickening tightness in her gut as shame crept into her world in large waves.

"The way you walk changed, and your hat was bigger," Wendy pointed out. Dipper blinked, looking up to her head and sighing. Of all the reasons to be caught by, they were not on his immediate list of things he had expected.

"Wait, so, Dipper has... long hair?" Soos asked, stepping next to Dipper, "and a baggy shirt?"

"I think Dipper got turned into a girl," Wendy said simply, looking into Dipper's vulnerable stare.

"Whoa. Dude. And I thought being a pig for a day was weird," Soos chuckled, patting Dipper on the shoulder, "well, at least your experience in your sister's body prepared you for-"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing," Dipper finished for Soos.

"Well, if we aren't trying to hide your condition from your friends anymore," Zander said aloud, drawing attention to him, "I think it's time we found these so-called crystals."

As Mabel nodded and lead the way out, with Zander and Soos in following, Wendy passed Dipper, who held an hand to her shoulder. Wendy stopped just short of passing through the door, and turned to face Dipper.

"Dude?"

Dipper lifted her gaze from the floor, and stared at Wendy. "Sorry for holding off on you," Dipper said quietly.

"Oh..." Wendy watched Dipper as she remained rooted to the spot, barely moving. She didn't blink as she watched him, taking in each movement he shad. "It's okay, dude."

"I, uh, just felt like... you all would laugh at me for this," Dipper shrugged.

Wendy scoffed and put her arms to her hips. "So, being a woman is something to laugh at, is it?" Dipper quickly widened her eyes and shook her head. Words and syllables spilled from her mouth like a flood, but Wendy just chuckled. "Hey, c'mon dude, I'm teasing you."

With a sigh, Dipper nodded and followed up next to her.

"Besides, I bet you still think I look attractive," Wendy poked her in the shoulder. Dipper's mouth vacuum sealed shut and she quickly looked away. "Hah!" Wendy laughed, but rubbed Dipper's hair with a quick brush. "Don't worry dude. We all have our secrets," she said as she gently pushed him out the door.

* * *

"Wow. Talk about crystal all right," Soos said as he and Zander stared at the large growth of crystals in the forest.

It had been half an hour since the cat was let loose from Dipper's metaphorical bag. With Wendy and Soos in tow, two cars had driven down to Zander's home, parked, and the five hiked their way towards Dipper's suggestion and guidance. Finally they stood before the three story tall growth of strange mineral. As it crackled with electricity, Wendy and Mabel marched around it, staring at the smaller crystals protruding from around it.

"I've seen some almost this big," Dipper admitted to the group, "but never _this_ big."

"So, uh, that electricity isn't being picked up on this," Soos pointed to a small device in his hand, a home-made E.M.F. detector, "and with how loud those suckers are up there," he pointed to the top of the crystal, "I totally should be getting something."

"So, it's not measureable electricity," Zander pondered, striking his chin.

"My thoughts exactly," Dipper announced, "I think it's either a form of un-recorded energy, or... uh... pure, raw, magic?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Zander shrugged.

"Or mine!" Mabel shouted as she came around the large crystal, "there's a ton of smaller ones around here. What if it's just 'Gender-Energy', and only reacts to things with genders?"

"That's stupid," Dipper replied.

"You're stupid," Mabel retorted.

"So, I'm getting a whole 'don't touch' vibe from the big one," Wendy said as she caught up with Mabel, having tied a rope around her body, over a shoulder and under the opposite armpit. "Did you touch big-daddy here," she pointed a thumb behind her, "or to one of these puppies?" she indicated one of the smaller ones next to them.

"That one," Dipper pointed to a specific protrusion from the earth. The five slowly moved closer, coming close enough to feel a static buzz from it's surface. Once there, they all watched it carefully and nervously. The glow of the light around them illuminated their faces as they stared down at the three foot crystal. Mabel then grabbed Dipper's hand and pushed it against the crystal.

"Ahhh, c'mon," Mabel grumbled.

"See? Not working," Dipper sighed as she took her hand back. Mabel frowned.

"Well... I bet that's because this one is busted. See?" Mabel pressed her hand against the surface.

"MABEL!"

Dipper's warning came far too late. Just like he had, screamed and pulled her hand away from the surface as a very loud discharge of energy coursed through her. Hair standing on end, Mabel marched away, holding her hand to her chest. Dipper stumbled, but followed after his sister worriedly. The three behind watching, Dipper caught up with Mabel as she groaned and hissed as she shook away the pain.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah?"

Dipper groaned. That voice... was too deep for Mabel, and Mabel had heard it too. She gasped and spun around.

Mabel's hair had receded and become short. Scruff extremely similar to Dipper's had come to light, and protruded from her chin. As Mabel felt a hand across her jaw and she laughed, she suddenly gasped and widened her legs.

"Whoa! New package," she stated, and stepped aside. Dipper blushed for her, and clapped a hand to her face.

"That may be the least graceful way of letting us know you're fully a guy now," Dipper told her.

"Quiet! I need to examine myself," Mabel told her as _he _patted his arms and shoulders. "Wider. Huh. Okay," he said, and began to feel the side of his ribs, "ow! That damn bra!" Mabel declared, "it sucks when it doesn't hold on to anything!"

"Can we please not talk about your bra?" Dipper asked, looking back towards the group. Wendy had walked over, leaving Zander and Soos to stare at the crystal.

"She looks exactly like you," Wendy shrugged, "not bad considering."

Dipper whipped to her, but then looked away, uncertain how to react to Wendy's possibly unintentional compliment. Instead, Dipper watched as Mabel clapped his hands to his butt, and nodded.

"The same. That's good," he assessed, and then turned away, and his hands vanished somewhere around his pelvis, or regions possibly lower. "Whoa!" Mabel declared, "I wonder if Dipper and I have matching-"

"AAAAND you're done looking at your body," Dipper shouted as she was burned from the inside out with the embarrassment flaring through her. Wendy roared with laughter, but Mabel shrugged and turned back, hands at his side.

"I gotta know what it's like before I switch back," Mabel informed his sister, marching over, "you know, it's kind of weird walking," Mabel told Wendy with a shake of his head, "more to watch out for down there."

"I bet," Wendy snickered as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"Seriously. You don't need to see ANY of that stuff," Dipper told him.

"Look, it's for both our interests that I check it out now," Mabel said to Dipper, "as Alpha twin, should you get into a date, we need to know equal amounts of each other's bodies, in case a significant other asks one of us what it's like. Also, I needed to make sure I went from girl cute to boy cute."

"Okay, first of all-" Dipper started.

"Hey!" Zander called out, "we're working on something!"

The three ran back over, coming to stand around Soos, who held his multi-purpose detector lower for them all to see.

"So, Zander and I got to thinking- this thing may have been gender specific. Like, it only zaps you if you're a boy sort of thing," Soos began.

"We just disproved that," Dipper stated.

"Right, so instead, what if it works like an electrical switch?" Zander explained, his eyes wide with excitement. Mabel blinked as he scratched his chin.

"Okay, I was kind of hoping chin scruff does make you think better, but I'm just getting the same thoughts. What's the deal with the electrical switch?" Mabel asked.

"So, if you haven't touched the crystal," Soos began, "you have a positive signature. It doesn't matter what gender you are. So now, a new current will flow through you, and turn you negative. Mabel, go touch it again dude," Soos suggested. Mabel suggested and did as told, and placed a hand on it's surface. "See? Nothing."

"So, once you touch, it doesn't work," Wendy summarized.

"We think so. It will only flow through a 'positive' signature," Zander shrugged. "Here's the bad part. We don't know... and we need to take a little risk," Zander told them with a grimace.

"We need someone else to get changed, don't we?" Wendy sighed.

"Yeeeaah," Zander nodded as he stared at the largest crystal, some fifteen feet from them.

"I thought so," Dipper crossed her arms before her, "so... who's next?"

"Well, I've been a pig once," Soos stated, "I think I can manage being another form of myself. Like, what's the worst that can happen?" Soos asked.

"You want to hold onto the detector for you?" Zander asked as Soos reached out.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Soos assured him, "these puppies will take more than just a tickle of electricity to-"As Soos placed his hand onto the crystal, he seized and shrieked, "YEOW! Ouch!" he shouted. Held in his hand, the detector exploded into smoke and plastic bits high into the air. Soos looked around as he shook himself clean of the remaining pings of pain within his body.

"Soos?" Wendy asked. "How do you feel?"

"Uhh, normal?" Soos asked.

"That's normal," the twins said in unison.

On cue, Soos's hair on his face vanished and a huge tuft of hair fell from under his cap, a soft, light hue brown. Soos gasped and looked to his legs, and then shook his head. As he spoke, his voice had changed slightly to become higher in pitch.

"Well. I know how Grandma feels now," Soos stated sadly.

"Dang it!" Zander growled, and marched over to backpacks by a tree. The other's followed as stepped away. "We need a study of this energy before we're all stuck as the opposite gender. Soos," Zander called, and Soos stepped next to him, "grab another one of those EMF thingies."

"Sure thing." Soos said, and _she_ marched over.

"You three," Zander said, turning to the twins and Wendy, "study me. Everything. Anything in any detail, no matter how small, pay attention to it."

"Sure," Dipper nodded.

"Yeah, no problem," Mabel sighed as he played with his hair. Dipper smacked Mabel's stomach with her backhand, and he grunted. "Hey. Ow."

"Okay, got another one," Soos stated.

"Great. Okay... take four," Zander said, and he began to march over to the same crystal.

"Wait, Zander!" Dipper called.

"Oh no!" Mabel shouted, "not into a girl!"

The twins ran over, but Zander's stride was too quick. As Soos just barely managed to catch up, the rock-artists put his hand onto the charged structure, and he too groaned and pulled his hand away within a moment. His already long blonde hair grew substantially, falling to the middle of his back. Two rather rounded blossoms formed under his shirt, and his facial features sharpened and thinned. Zander Maximillion, as Dipper was shocked, was a gorgeous bombshell.

"Got a reading this time!" Soos shouted aloud as she jumped into the air.

"Read it to me," Zander demanded, her voice smooth and silky.

"Electrical in pattern. Like, probably able to transmit through anything electricity can," Soos suggested. "What it is? Still no idea, dude."

"Anything else?" Zander asked as the three stared at the very pretty woman before them.

"Uhhh... yeah. I think there was a delay this time," Soos admitted as she looked up from device.

"A delay? Wassup with that?" Mabel asked.

"Maybe... it's height," Dipper suggested, looking at the still taller woman before him, "she- uh, he has slightly longer arms than the rest of us. Maybe this energy is slow enough to actually be traced when it's moving?"

"There's only one way to find out," Wendy grunted, and turned away.

"Oh no, not you too!" Dipper shook his head as he ran after her.

"Dipper, dude, I got this," Wendy said as she walked backwards briefly, facing Dipper.

"Wendy, if you change back, we're going to need more people to figure this out!" Dipper told her, "maybe you should just, you know, stay back for now, and we can come back with help first? You know? Not get you changed before you get stuck?"

"Dipper-"

"He's got a point," Zander added as Wendy turned and pulled out a very long metal chain from Soos's backpack, and wrapped one end once around her arm. "If we can't get this figured out, for all we know, there is no changing back," Zander said to her.

"If there's an on switch," Wendy shook her had as she dragged one end of the chain with her, marching back towards the crystal, "there's an off switch."

"Wait, Wendy!" Dipper demanded of the redhead. She didn't need to be more confused than she already was. Zander was a friend, and already Dipper was certain that there was a very unconventional amount of attraction whenever she looked at the new gorgeous woman. But should Wendy be turned into a man, the one woman who Dipper saw so many admirable qualities... "Wendy, wait!" Dipper grabbed the end of the dragging chain just as Wendy reached out and grasped the crystal.

In her attempt to pull Wendy away, Dipper saw her flinch and let go. However, she also saw a bright surge of yellow light course through the chains in the nearly two seconds. Fifty feet through the chains the energy shot, and Dipper shouted and dropped the chains, feeling her hands burnt yet again.

Then... suddenly her head and chest felt lighter. Dipper felt a familiar addition in _his_ waist. Dipper gasped, and then felt his hands over his body. "Oh... oh my god!" he shouted, "I'm-I'm back! I'M A DUDE AGAIN!"

"Rock on, man," a deep but soft voice told Dipper, causing him to stumble and stare.

Wendy looked very, very much like her father now. Granted, her shoulders were not as incredibly brawn and wide as his were, but her hair was shorter, her face covered in bright red tufts of beard, and her body had filled out. As Wendy stroked _his_ moustache, he turned to Mabel and grinned.

"You know what we need to do," Wendy told her gender-swapped friend.

"I'm soo on it!" Mabel grinned and nodded. The two stepped closer clapped their hands together in an armbrace. Then they let go, and quickly stroked their beards.

"Testosterone!" they both declared, and spat to the side. Dipper, beside himself, began to laugh and had to hold his hands to his knees to keep himself from falling forward.

"Dipper, you're back to normal?" Soos asked.

"Yeah! Whole packa- uh, all me. I retract the word 'package'," Dipper told them, and then gasped, and felt his face, "phew. Beard hairs are back. Among other things," he added with a pleased grin.

"Not as much as Wendy!" Mabel shouted, and stroked Wendy's face, "she's got a forest of red curls!"

"But if we got Dipper back," Zander said around, pacing back and forth as she thought aloud, "that mean's we can all get back! We just need to have the current pass through everyone on the chain!"

"Right... how exactly is that going to work?" Dipper asked, "if we need someone to always be a 'normal' self to activate it, someone always has to be a gender they didn't start out as in the end!"

"What makes you think that?" Zander asked Dipper, a sly grin on her face.

"You've got a plan, I take it?" Dipper asked.

"Sort of. I think so," Zander shrugged, "we take this chain, and circle the crystal. All of us stand in a circle, attached by the chains. Dipper, you have one hand ready by the crystal-"

"And one next to a part of the chain!" Dipper concluded, "and that way when the circle is completed-"

"Simba rises into the sun, and is proclaimed the next kind of Africa!" Mabel concluded with a happy sigh. The other four, either confused or irritated as was Dipper's case, stared at him. "What? No circle of life? We're just sticking to 'circle of really bad shock'?"

"So, how do we get this started?" Wendy asked as he patted Mabel's head gently.

"It's up to Dipper, honestly," Zander gestured to Dipper with her hand. He looked to them all, ready to wrap the nonsense up.

"Let's do this," he told them.

Set up around the crystal, the four changed awaited. They had found the best possible distance around the strange charged object, widening the circle in the middle so both ends were as close as possible without the possibility of chain links touching, and shortening the distance.

Dipper stood by both ends. To his left, Mabel stood waiting, her confident brown eyes staring at Dipper as he checked in with her. To his right, tall proud Wendy stood, her own green eyes shining with her usual amount of confidence. Dipper stood between them, aware of the whole procedure resting on his shoulders. So, with a grasp on the last chain neatest Mabel, he reached out and touched the surface.

"GAH!"

Dipper shouted and retracted the hand. Mabel screamed, and then Soos. It was already half way across the chain, and Dipper still felt the pain of the shock coursing through his body. Yet he would have to steel himself. There was no time. Zander yelped as well- only half a second remained.

As Dipper reached out for the chain, Wendy reached out for him. Just as the energy struck the edges of Wendy's skin, the two connected their hands.

"DOUBLE OW!" Dipper roared as he fell back and held his hand. Wendy had spun in a quick circle, whipping her hand through the air in quick punches as she grunted. Yet, his body remained the same. He was not undergoing the changes, as he lay flat on his back on the floor of the forest. Slamming his two fists into the dirt below him, Dipper cheered his loudest into the covered sky above.

"Nice one, dude," Wendy said, _her_ voice back to her usual tones. Dipper craned his head up and found a hand reaching down for him. With a grin on his face, he took it and was lifted up easily.

"Looks like being a man didn't make you any weaker," Dipper chuckled. Wendy laughed and shoved him gently.

"Looks like being a girl didn't make you any dumber," she winked as Dipper laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. From the side, Dipper felt a slam into his side as Mabel Pines, returned to female-hood, rushed at him.

"Yeah! Finally," Mabel shouted as _she_ let go of Dipper, "we get a mystery that isn't life or death. That's got to be the first one in a while."

"At least the first one I've been on," The masculine voices of Zander Maximillion added as he stepped over, patting the shoulder of the twins. "Good work you two. Got me a site to photograph, and a heck of a memory to keep."

"And not to mention an intimate idea of what you would look like if you were the opposite gender!" Soos added as _he_ stood next to them. "I don't think many people get that chance."

"Eh. I think we kind of knew what we'd look like," Dipper admitted, winking to his sister. She chuckled and poked him in the nose.

"Well, I'm off to get my camera. Hey! You guys can help me out!" Zander told them as he started walking off, yet still facing them, "just chill here for a bit, and we'll get some awesome scenic shots of these things!"

As Zander jogged off, Soos began to collect the metal chains, rattling them against the various exposed roots of the floor around them. As Mabel watched Zander go off with a sigh, Dipper felt Wendy's presence next to him. He turned and smiled to her, happy to have had her by his side again.

"See dude?" she said with a nudge, "aren't you glad you can trust me?" she asked.

Dipper laughed harder than he should have, but he turned away, following the gaze of his sister. It would be easier to look away from Wendy as he let her words sink in.

Granted, without Wendy's persistence, there was a good chance that there may never have been a return to their normal genders. She had genuinely tried to help them all, offering what she could when she could. All like the Wendy Dipper had knew for three years. The Wendy he trusted. Still... Dipper could feel the notepad sitting in an inside pocket of his vest, reminding him of the simple truth of his red-headed friend next to him: she was still hiding a secret from him.

However, as Dipper let a deep breath slip from his lips and he grinned to himself, he could enjoy the moment as it was. She, whatever her secret was, Wendy Corduroy had stood next to him and his friends once again.

* * *

I bet the photoshoot was boring after that fiasco. At least by comparison. Once your gender-based body parts had been switched back and forth, you tend to have a muted perspective on the things of life.

Or at least, I can only imagine. :o

So that's this week of RtGF. The 'obligatory gender-based' episode has been completed! WOOT WOOT! Which means now, we're about to stop the silly and step almost entirely back into the world of seriousness. And I mean serious. The next Episode is called "Ashes in the Sky".

Yeah. They're back.

Anyone have any speculations to the coming episode? I'd love to hear a theory or two! Heck, if you're right about something, I might tell you- or even give you more hints!

(Without warning, EZB liquefies. Like, he just turns into a puddle of blue stuff. Someone mop him up, please?)

* * *

**Wkhuh lv douhdgb idqduw ri wklv**

**-AND-**

**Xlnrmt fk mvcg- Azmwvi Nzcrnroorlm; Rh gsviv hfxs z gsrmt zh 'gll xsroo'?**


	37. Ashes in the Sky: Part 1

The Gravity Falls Sheriff Department was a small, quaint building in comparison to the grandeur of other metropolitan offices. The stone base of the structure was old and worn, and much of the two floors above the first were newly constructed. The events three years prior had most of the town scramble to assemble itself together, and the police office had been no exception.

Inside the police station stood a well-dressed man with a bow-tie. Arms crossed and frowning, Omir Steindorf stood before a one-way mirror, staring into the lit holding room, where Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland stood. They paced around a small table, where a skinny and tall blonde man sat. Omir Steindorf watched them stride around the young man, uncertain to their progress.

"If you ain't gonna talk, we're just goin' to keep you here forever," Durland stated, his voice coming through a speaker underneath the one-sided window.

"You bet it. With what we're holding you for," Blubs added as he hiked up his belt on his pants, "we're just going to have you here for a long, long time."

The Warlock, Graupner Kinley said nothing. His dark eyes glanced between each of the cops in his presence, but he said nothing.

"Alright. Enjoy the chair," Blubs said as he nodded to Durland to open the door.

"Yeah. It'll ride up the pants a bit, won't it?" Durland chuckled as he and the sheriff left the room together. The lights remained on, and as Omir stared at the young man, the sounds of the approaching pair of policemen. "Hah! We got him on the ropes, don't we sheriff?"

"You bet we do, buddy," Blubs patted the back of Durland as they stepped over. Omir spun to them, scowling.

"This is what you call progress?" he demanded, stunning the cops with his volume.

"Well, uh, yeah?" Blubs answered as he and his partner exchanged a worried look. "I mean, he'll crack eventually."

"Look how nervous he is!" Durland pointed through the glass, and Omir glanced as well. The Warlock was looking right at them, and his eyes glowered with hate.

"He looks uncomfortable. That doesn't mean he's willing to talk!" Steindorf roared. The Sheriff and Deputy both flinched, and Omir clenched a pair of fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Have... either of you ever interrogated before?"

"I once asked for directions in Portland," Durland answered hopefully.

Omir sighed and shook his head. This was getting no where, it would seem. He looked once again towards the young man in the room, and the Warlock glanced right at him, as if he could see through the mirror.

"That's weird," Blubs shivered at the blonde's actions. "He's looking straight through a mirror."

"Just... a coincidence," Steindorf suggested, and turned away, adjusting his bow-tie as he did. "I expect more of an update when I return in a few days," he told them as he marched down the hallway, passing offices as he did. The Sheriff and Deputy followed, trailing the impressive gait of the CEO.

"Oh, you don't got to do that," Blubs told him, aware of the heads that were popping out from the offices, watching the three as they marched down the hallway. "We can handle this on our own-"

"Gentlemen," Steindorf growled, turning to them as he found the exit door, "I was told you would have his sources cracked by the time I arrived to check up. I am deeply disappointed in your progress. When next I return, should I not find you have made the progress I was anticipating, I will petition to have the investigation under my own personal over-sight."

"But this is police work!" Durland stated in shock.

Omir stepped up, his large height imposing to even Durland. "Then do your police work!" He whipped back and headed outside, the two cops following him. As he left the doors, the CEO looked to his right, where a large bouncy castle sat. "I find it hard to believe that you spend your efforts in this department wisely when... this _thing_ exists here."

"Don't you worry about us," Blubs assured him with a worried chuckle, "we'll make sure you don't have to, uh, involve yourself."

"See to it you do," Omir scowled. The sky above was bright blue, but a sudden clap of thunder stunned the two offices. Omir glanced skyward, but shrugged as he reached inside his jacket and removed an umbrella.

"Weird," Durland muttered as clouds began to trail in from the mountains, "I thought the weather report said sunny skies."

"It did," Blubs said. Another burst of lightning soared overhead, and thunder roared through the air. The two cops gasped as rain began to trickle, and they stepped underneath the cover of the building. Omir turned to them, his umbrella out and above him.

"Always be prepared," he warned them, "for the worst. But...in a town like this, maybe it's safer to leave than stay around."

With a nervous look to one another, the cops watched Omir step into his waiting limousine, and drive over as the rain began to grow heavier. The two cops glanced to one another in surprise. It had been a surprise visit to begin with from the powerful corporate man, and while they weren't sure his threat of taking the investigation personally was true, he could bring a lot of unwanted attention to their town.

Another loud boom echoed from above, and the cops jumped. Blubs and Durland sighed as they looked above, the now dark grey skies shining through with orange. "Must be one of those freaky-near instant thunder storms," Durland patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Uh... sheriff?" Durland shook as he pointed up, staring high into the clouds.

"Yeah buddy?"

Durland also turned his gaze skyward. He gasped, and lowered his sunglasses. The light wasn't the sun. The source of the orange light was moving too rapidly, and it began to glow brighter and brighter. People in the street before them gasped and began to point upwards too. A huge shockwave roared from the skyline, and people screamed and took cover as a wave of steam shot down from the clouds, burning in orange and red fire. From the clouds it fell towards the edge of town, leaving behind it a thick, obscuring line of white vapor.

"All dispatch! We have an unidentified falling object," Sheriff Blubs shouted into his police radio as he and the Deputy ran towards their car, watching the falling object with care. "Scramble all officers to the-" the object finally vanished behind the trees with a series of loud cracks,"-the Corduroy lumber mill! Repeat, all officers to the Corduroy Lumber Mills!"

It wasn't just the cops of the town who charged towards the crash sight of whatever had been in the clouds. As townsfolk and visitors alike began to drive or run towards the fallen object, trails of ash and steam began to finally fall to the earth, dampened and cooled by the strange sudden storm.

Across town, the dozen or so patrol cars who had arrived in haste barely held back the growing crowd of interested onlookers. A row of trees leading to the mill itself had been shattered and burnt horrible, only kept under check by the pouring rain. Though the wood of the split trees still burned brightly, the falling ashes through the air were the only real evidence of a large fire. Blubs and Durland, along with another six cops marched ahead, where the three Corduroy boys awaited.

"Sheriff! You won't believe it!" the oldest told them as they lead the eight officers towards the destroyed mill, with a large simmering hole in the side.

"Show us, boy, come on," Durland demanded. The three kids nodded, and ran ahead, directing them to a split open door. Passing by the children, the cops entered and gasped. Manly Dan Corduroy stood, an axe held loosely in one hand as he stared at the object, slumped up in a corner. Small fires burnt dimly around it as the cops timidly approached, staring in shock as the thing moved and twitched.

"It's... a bird," Durland gasped.

"A burning bird," Blubs added.

Manly Dan said nothing as he stared from his impressive height at the massive creature. Nearly ten feet long and thirty feet in wingspan, the animal seemed both to be a real being and... radiated fire. Low resonant squawks and chirps heavily emanated from it's beak as it laid on it's back, its talons in the air. A pair of jet-black eyes stared fearfully at Manly Dan as he watched the creature from a good distance.

"A phoenix," the large, burly, ginger haired man muttered as his hard green eyes looked down on the creature.

The cops began to mutter amongst themselves, trying to figure out who or what to contact regarding the monstrous creature in the shattered mill, but Manly Dan barely heard them. His eyes were only for the pheonix, which was only just barely protected by the thick wooden walls around it and the remaining ceiling. He had seen it with his own eyes- the devastating effects rain had on the bird. Not only that... he knew how useful birds like this were.

He was too deep in his own thoughts to even look up through the split rooftops as a pair of shadowy figures darted above, soaring away towards the edges of town.

* * *

"Aww nuts!" Mabel groaned as she held her hand out past the roofed protection of the porch. "So much for the boy-hunting day we had planned."

"Are you sure we can't invite boys here?" the thin black-haired girl said next to Mabel. Candy watched Mabel shake her hand of water as she stepped back inside, leaving the porch behind.

"And besides, they may like wet shirts," Grenda stated, watching Mabel and Candy pass by her as the three teenagers stepped inside the gift shop.

"You guys aren't planning to go out there, are you?" Wendy asked, glancing out of the window nearby as the three sighed, and shook their head. "Good. 'Cus that's nasty out there." A loud roll of thunder confirmed Wendy's thoughts. "See? The boys won't be going anywhere."

"Not unless someone wishes all the men in town away suddenly," Mabel muttered sadly. Candy and Grenda gasped as they placed their hands to their cheeks.

"And... that's likely?" Wendy asked, cocking an eyebrow as she watched the girls step past.

"We may never know now," Mabel sighed. Wendy watched them leave her sight, and got back to her usual post of doing little to nothing by the cash register. With the weather like it was, Stan was surprisingly busy, and Wendy had been assigned to specifically watch the automated machine not an hour previous. Since that storm, several of the staying families had taken up Grunkle Stans offer, and now paced around the building while unknowingly being stiffed.

"Sup dork," Mabel groaned as she stepped into the living room.

"Nerd," Dipper retorted lazily from the chair, his feet kicked up on the arm rest. As the three girls sat in a circle and sighed heavily, Dipper looked up from his journal. "No luck outside?"

"Still raging like a cursed storm," Mabel said.

"And now all the single boys out there may never be claimed by the three of us for a good evening," Grenda furthered as she laid back, letting herself sink into the shaggy carpet.

"Oh woe to us," Candy added, picking at her glasses.

"You guys know there's more to life than the opposite gender," Dipper stated as he hiked up his book again, burying his face into the pages.

"And there's more to life than the secrets of-" Mabel's words were cut off by a hasty but intent glare by Dipper.

"Is it another mystery?" Candy asked as she turned to Dipper.

"Yeah. Private one though," Dipper admitted, looking to the hallway.

"Wait, you're doing private mysteries?" Grenda leaned up. "I could hire you as a private eye?"

"It's not what I'm doing now, but I don't see why not," Dipper shrugged as he turned a page and gasped, "another possibility," Dipper chuckled and wrote down something on his hidden pad on his lap. Mabel rocked herself back up and walked over.

"Anything solid on 'Operation Red-Fever'?" Mabel asked. Dipper rolled his eyes and lifted the pad.

"Sort of," he admitted, "the crystals helped. Since Soos and Zander were able to get a closer look at the thing after we changed back, we were able to confirm that it only works with things involving genders."

"Why is that important?" Mabel asked. Dipper opened his mouth, but Mabel shot her hand out and closed it, "wait! I got it," she told him, "that means that whatever touches it has to be able be identified as having a gender. Wendy switched back and forth!"

"So, anything that may not have genders- biologically at least," Dipper added as he flipped a page, "is no longer included. Constructs, golems, elementals-"

"You thought Wendy could be an elemental?" Mabel crossed her arms and stared at Dipper with a smirk.

"You never know," he retorted. The TV was turned on, and Dipper groaned. His eyes, and his sister's eyes, turned to Grenda and Candy, who sat together as they watched the Television. Dipper glanced to Mabel, who only shrugged.

"They're bored," she told him.

"I'm working," he replied.

"Well, you can go upstairs," Mabel reminded him with a nudge on his beanie, "the TV can't move."

"Ugh. Fine," Dipper grumbled, but stayed put.

"It's a news report? but I wanted the Eating Channel," Grenda whined as she leaned into a cross-legged sit.

"Gravity Falls continues its second hour of the sudden and monstrous downpour which has the local meteorologists baffled," Shandra Jimenez, adorned in a large weather cowl, struggled to keep her hair and rain from covering her face as she spoke to the camera, "according to experts here in Gravity Falls, this kind of weather is unprecedented for the week to come," the TV cut to an image of frenzied and panicked men in lab-coats, running around and screaming with their hands waving above their heads, and then back to Shandra Jimenez, "but that's not what all the buzz is about today."

"Oh great, there's something else going on," Candy told her two friends, patting them lightly on the shoulder, "maybe it's something we can gossip about!"

"Yeah!" The three chanted, "Gossip! Gossip! Gossip!"

"Wait to hear what it is, first!" Dipper cried out, pointing to the TV. "For all you know, it's that the Northwests announcing something stupid and unrelated."

"Shouldn't you be working on your mystery?" Mabel retorted. Dipper glowered at her, but said nothing as he laid back into the seat.

"In a near tragedy in town," Shandra reported, "the Corduroy Mills, well known for their supplying lumber for the town and exports abroad, was nearly destroyed today in a freak accident."

"Wow!" The three on the floor gasped and stared. Even Dipper eyed the TV over the edge of the book.

"According to reliable sources," Shandra said, just as Old Man McGucket jigged across a street behind her, excitedly running around in the rain, which he attempted to catch with his large hat, "a large creature of some sort crashed from the clouds earlier and not only split many good trees open, but laid waste to the mill itself. Unfortunately, the authorities won't let anyone, other than the Northwests and the Corduroys nearby this mysterious creature, so we have no inclination to what it may be. We'll be back as soon as a new update presents itself."

"Wow, a creature!" Mabel gasped, and looked around, "I wonder what it is?"

"Yeah, I wonder," Dipper added, scratching his head. "At the Corduroy Mills... hmm..."

"Hey guys," Wendy's voice called from the hallway as she appeared. Dipper shoved away his notepad expertly and looked up to her, a smile placed on his face. "Any of you seen Yuki around?"

"No," the twins mirrored each other in tone. Candy looked from them to Wendy.

"Who?" Candy and Grenda asked.

"Uki-Dohth?" Wendy re-stated, "wait, have you two met him yet?" Wendy asked as the two ladies exchanged looks.

"There's another young male working here that's not Dipper?" Candy inquired, adjusting her glasses as she stared at Wendy.

"Yeah! Yuki!" Mabel answered energetically, "wears a hat like Dipper, but it's from the shack? Tall? Darker skin?" Mabel asked. Grenda put a hand to her chin and scratched.

"Does sound sort of familiar," she answered.

"Maybe he's never officially been introduced to us?" Candy shrugged. Mabel gasped and stood up.

"Oh my god! You're right! I never had you three meet!" Mabel clawed at her scalp in panic. "Wendy!" she spun around, pointing to the red-head, "have you seen Yuki!?" Wendy stared at her, a smile growing on her lips. After a few blinks, Mabel nodded, and marched over. "Right. We're looking for-"

"Oi! Who's by the counter!?" The loud voice of Grunkle Stan echoed in the hall. The side door near the forest was opened and a pair of footsteps started walking inside as the thunder from outdoors shook the walls. The voice of the stranded alien called back as he marched inside.

"I will attend in a moment-"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel called, "is Yuki with you!?"

"No, I am here," Yuki answered. Appearing from the side of the doorway and grinned happily to Wendy. "I heard my name cal-" Yuki spotted Candy and Grenda, who were staring right at him. Yuki gasped and had a hand shoot up to his hat and ensure it was still on his head, "Ah! Oh! Uhhh... hello!" he chuckled as the five stared at him.

"Yuki, why are you soaked?" Dipper asked, watching water fall from the man's shirt and arms.

"Did Stan not give you an Umbrella?" Wendy demanded. Yuki chuckled but shook his head.

"No, no. I enjoy the rain. And lightning won't likely strike me," Yuki informed her, "you know... the whole... uh," he glanced to Candy and Grenda staring at him, to which he leaned closer to Dipper, "can I speak openly of my status with their presence?"

"Mabel, introduce them already," Dipper told his sister, who nodded excitedly, and grabbed Yuki and yanked him over.

"Yuki! Ahem- Uki-Dohth," Mabel announced proudly, her chest puffing out as she presented herself and her friend to her older accomplices in crime, "these are my super-awesome friends, Candy and Grenda!" Mabel directed Yuki to each who timidly smiled as he nodded to each. "Candy, Grenda: this is my Alien friend from outer-space!"

"Wow!" the two gasped in unison.

"Are all aliens in your world as cute as you?" Grenda instantly asked. Yuki's mouth fell open and he glanced to Mabel, who chuckled.

"Dang Grenda-"

"Do your people believe in artificial bodily modification?" Candy asked, looking at the soaking wet boy before her.

"We, uh, do use prosthetic limbs for those who have been in accidents," Yuki said as he leaned away from her, and nearly into Grenda, "b-b-but my people do not seek to improve ourselves unless we must."

"Wow," Grenda and Candy cooed as they stared at the still wet man, and he slowly teetered back, stepping behind Mabel. "Cool," they also muttered in unison.

"HEY KIDS!" Grunkle Stan's voice roared from the gift shop, stunning the group long enough for Yuki to take several long steps away, now hiding behind Wendy, "get in here! You have a stray who wants to see you."

"A stray?" Dipper asked to Mabel, who shrugged. Folding up his notes and stepping up from his seat, Dipper joined Mabel as the two left the room together. They could hear Wendy speaking to the girls and Yuki, who was quickly bombarded with questions. No sooner had they made it to the corner of the gift shop than Grunkle Stan passed by them, scowling.

"You have until she pays and Wendy takes her spot by the register to talk," he informed them coldly as he passed by.

"Huh?" Mabel said as they looked inside. Arms tightly crossed and looking sour and mildly wet, an athletic woman with a leather jacket and golden hair stood by the counter. Her face lightened when she saw the twins, who exclaimed and moved to her. "Master!" Mabel outcried.

"Arline!"

"Hey guys," Arline grinned to them as she patted away the water from her shoulders and tried wiping it away from her head. "Pretty rough out there, huh?"

"Yeah. The girls and I had to cancel our boy-hunt today because of it. No one's going to want to be flirty in this kind of weather," Mabel grunted, sending a disapproving glare out the window. Arline shrugged, her optimistic smile boundless.

"Well, once it's done with the thunder and lightning, there's still a good chance for fun," Arline told her, pushing aside the wetted bangs of hair from her face, "you never know- if it warms up too, maybe wet clothes are what you need to give you an edge."

Mabel's eyes grew wide as she grinned. "Brilliant."

"So," Dipper chuckled and looked to the master martial artists, "what's up, Arline? Or did you just pop by to say hi?"

"Which is totally cool if you did," Mabel added. The woman glanced past them towards the hallway, and then around, to the several figures still in the shop. Once she noticed none were looking their way, she leant in and spoke quietly.

"I've been keeping tabs on our mutual friend in the Sheriff Department," Arline told them in a hush.

"Warlock," the twins muttered in unison.

"Right. He's been in there for almost a week and still nothing. He doesn't talk, he doesn't ask for a lawyer, he's just sitting in that building doing nothing," Arline told them, her look focused and serious, "but not only that... and this is the weird part... I get the feeling he's not uncomfortable there."

"Why? Aren't they doing a good-cop bad cop routine?" Mabel asked.

"Uh... your police force isn't what I'd like to call 'efficient'," Arline admitted.

"Yeah. That's kind of you, to be fair," Dipper nodded.

"But I think he's just biding his time," Arline told them, "he's not even using that magic of his to cause trouble or try escaping. All he's doing is sticking around and playing quiet."

"Great. So that means we still have time to find out who's working with him," Dipper pondered, scratching his chin. "And we don't have any inclination other than the fact he called someone in front of us to activate the spell. It could be anyone."

"Hey stray," a voice had the three mildly jump and turn. Stan was walking back in the room, Wendy in tow, "Cash Register Jockey is here. Pay up."

"One sec," Arline rolled her eyes and looked back to the twins, "we can talk more about this later," she said to them and approached the counter, "how much this time? Eight Hundred? Nine Hundred?"

"Well, since Summerween Season is on the horizon, let's go with a grand," Stan told her.

"A Grand!?" the twins gasped.

"Stan, dude," Wendy said as she looked between the customer and the establishment operator.

"This is one of the town's biggest holidays, and one person who doesn't buy any of my merchandise or is a liability towards my business," Stan told her as he crossed his arms, glaring at her, "and I'm not fond of loosing that profit." Arline stared at him, her glare matching his own. Then she whipped out her wallet, removed her card, and handed it to Wendy. "Really!?" Stan gasped.

"Really," Arline told him, "I'm paying it."

"Okay, give me that card," Stan marched over and swiped the card from Wendy's hands. The small piece of plastic in his hand, he overlooked its surface and markings. "A thousand a night, and you don't even flinch about it."

"It's worth it," Arline told him with a tiny smirk.

"You're hiding something," Stan grumbled, tapping the card in his hands, "I don't know what, but there's not a chance anyone with a reasonable mind would pay a grand a day to stay anywhere! Let alone in my motel!" He stated, catching the attention of the shopping guests in the gift shop. "What are you up to?" he demanded, peering at the younger woman.

Little to no satisfaction came to Stan from Arline's behalf. Her poker-face smirk wasn't shaken as she slowly reached over, pulled her card over, and handed it back to Wendy. "That'll cover my night," she said with a kind grin to Wendy. The red-head glanced back between her boss and Arline, and finally shrugged. A quick push against the scanner, and the payment was made. Wendy handed back the card to Arline, who nodded. "Thanks, Wendy," she said, and looked back to Stan. "I'll be in my room in case you need something," she said to Stan. "I'll talk to you guys later," she said easily to the twins, giving them a small wave before exiting the door and marching quickly to the left, towards the motel rooms.

The twins spun around and glared at their Grand Uncle. He only just realized the heat of two angered teenagers staring at him and groaned. "What?" he demanded.

"What is your problem?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah," Dipper added, "she wasn't doing anything wrong in here! And you're treating her like she's someone we need to distrust!"

"Listen kids, I don't know if you're going soft on people because she saved your butts," Stan told them, stepping in closer, "but I'm tellin' ya! She's hiding something. Something big. She's paid well over twenty five grand just to stay here this past month!" Grunkle Stan told them, "and I'm loving the cash, but-"

"But what?" Dipper cut in, "you have any proof of her being suspicious!?"

"She meets up with you guys just as a spider attacks," Stan pointed out, "you run into werewolves when she's around! When you meet up with her, that crazy Warlock guy shows up again!"

"So?" Mabel replied heatedly, "she's been protecting us!"

"Yeah? Where does she go during the day when she's not in her room doing that stupid meditating and training stuff?" Stan demanded of them.

Mabel quickly scoffed, but Dipper paused, blinking and looking aside towards the window. Stan wasn't wrong about that- Arline did make frequent stops in town for entire days, and she had never said what she did. Regardless of her actions, she had directly tried stopping the Warlock from the beginning, and even told the twins what her purpose had been here in the first place: stopping Graupner Kinley, the Warlock. Still... Dipper couldn't shake the feeling that Stan had implanted in his brain. He wasn't wrong to suspect.

"She's helping us, even if she's not telling us everything," Dipper replied. Mabel sighed and patted his back.

"See? Even conspiracy crazy Dipper thinks she's cool," Mabel defended her master. Stan rolled his eyes and grumbled as he turned away.

"You two do remember what happened last time we met people who tried helping us but didn't say everything?" Stan asked as he left. "Three years ago?" he turned once to them, deliberately staring at them with a angry glare. Mabel scowled, but Dipper turned away, crossing his arms. A pair of young kids stared at him.

"What are you looking at?!" Dipper demanded of them, and the shrunk away, heading for the door. When they were alone, with exception to Wendy, who pursed her lips but said nothing, Dipper sighed and turned back to his sister. "Mabel, he's got a point."

"A stupid point," she replied.

"She already kind of held back important information from us," Dipper quietly reminded her, stepping closer, "what's the promise that she's not now?"

"That we trust her and she trusts us," Mabel reminded him.

"Mabel," Dipper said, and his sister grunted and reluctantly nodded.

"Okay, okay. It is a little weird that she's... here," Mabel started, but Dipper took off.

"She knew about the Warlock thing but never told us about it, knew he was going to be at the convention from a 'dream'? That sounds familiar, and really bad," Dipper pointed out, "and she's able to pay off tons of money like it's nothing? A thousand dollars a day- that's not something people can just do!"

"And I'd be lying if I said that my master could actually pay that," Mabel admitted with a sigh, "she's living nice but... not _that_ nice."

"You guys just consider talking to her about it?" The twins slowly turned and looked to the speaker, Wendy. After a moment of staring, Wendy seemed to have noticed their prolonged looks and shrugged. "What? Is that really such a bad idea?"

"I... uh..." Dipper's head nearly ruptured as he struggled to comprehend the hypocrisy of her saying that. She held secrets from them, from everyone, but thought it would be a good idea for the twins to try 'just talking' to Arline? "Maybe when, you know," Dipper padded his hands together, "we know more."

Wendy nodded and looked towards the counter. With an easy grab, she pulled over a magazine and flipped it open. Reading 'Inevitable Encounters and How to Prolong Them' seemed to be on her mind, and she flipped a page. Dipper blinked as he scanned the cover again.

"What is that magazine even about?" he asked.

Before Wendy could answer, there was a knock on the side door. The twins turned at the same time, seeing the shadowed outlines of two figures. It was odd for anyone in the motel to knock; most just casually stepped in, and if they weren't certain about entering then they would announce themselves to the interior. Dipper sighed. They could be the kids he had just scared off. He stepped over to the door and slid it open.

"You can come... in..." he gasped, "wait..."

Two figures in dark grey-blue hoodies stood before him. The shorter one had a cap atop it's head, and Dipper instantly recognized it. His hat.

The hat he gave to Jessandra.

"Hi Dipper," a soaking wet young girl with cornsilk hair falling past her hoodie said. Mabel inside gasped and within a few moments crashed next to Dipper.

"Jess!?" she demanded, and then looked to the figure next to her. The two outside peeked out from their hoodies and Mabel yelled. "JACE!" she laughed as she jumped at the older teen. Jace yelled as well and caught her, holding her in his arms as they spun around for a moment.

"Mabel!" Jace placed her back down as he laughed, and he looked to Dipper, "And you!" he declared, and quickly wrapped his arms around Dipper in a quick hug. "It's been too long!"

"A month!" Mabel answered as Dipper was too stunned from the hug to reacted. "Just- wow! How's your arm handling?" Mabel pointed to his arm as Jace stepped back.

"Much better. Healed up nicely after stopping by," Jace rolled his eyes, and then looked back at the twins, "you guys look great! And not cold and wet!" he laughed as he wrung his hood backwards, squeezing water onto the wood.

"Yeah, can we come in?" Jess asked, looking up to Dipper and Mabel hopefully.

"Sure," Dipper said, stepping back inside and letting the two follow.

"Ah, warmer. Much better," Jace sighed as he whipped his hands to the floor, splattering water around him.

"Ach- dude," Jess punched his hip angrily as she was splashed in the eye.

"Ow! Dang, chill," Jace grumbled while stepping away from her. Mabel started shaking Dipper, staring at their new friends come back to visit. Jace was, as always, a very attractive and aloof man with feminine tendencies who preferred the intimate company of men to women. Jess as she brushed water from her cap, looked around, a small smile on her face as she analyzed everything in the shop.

"It's still the same," she said as she turned towards the counter, where Wendy had just lowered her magazine, "oh! Wendy, hi!"

"I was wondering what got Mabel in such a tiff," Wendy snickered as she waved at the two siblings. "Welcome back to town."

"Thanks," Jace smiled back at her, and then looked to the twins, "we were kind of hoping there wouldn't be a storm when we did come by."

"Yeah, tell us about it," Mabel agreed as she walked over, giving her friend a pat on the shoulder, which sprinkled water around, "I was hoping we could finally get you that tour of town. But the storm like this? Not a good idea."

"Well, uh," Jess said, and Dipper noticed her staring intently at him, "not exactly what we mean."

"Huh?" Mabel asked. The siblings exchanged only the smallest of glances, and looked to Dipper and Mabel. There was a muted urgency between the two. It was the same kind of energy the twins remembered them having when they tried holding their secret of being harpies away.

"What's going on?" Dipper inquired quietly.

"Our mission was to get the..." Jace blinked and whipped his head towards Wendy, who was staring towards the four.

"Don't worry about me man," Wendy told them, "I'm on the same page with them."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded with a moment's hesitation, "she's cool."

"Well... you guys remember about the Phoenix, right?" Jace continued. The twins nodded, and Jess scowled.

"Everything just went rotten at the last second!" she stomped her foot and clawed at her hoodie. "Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong!"

"Whoa, whoa," Dipper stepped closer, looking to her as she breathed rapidly, "what's going on guys? What happened?"

"First, uh," Jace spoke, a shiver in his words, "do you think we could get some dry towels? We're kind of soaked here."

"Shoot! Of course," Mabel said, but as she stepped away, she spun back and grasped the two, "follow me- I'll getcha somewhere nice and warm _and_ get clean towels!"

"As gracious a host as I remember," Jace smirked as he let himself be dragged by Mabel. Jess pulled herself away, mumbling quietly as she followed the two.

"I can walk," Jess pouted as her brother and Mabel stumbled forward, not hearing her protest.

"Mabel just wants to help," Dipper told her as he patted her shoulder, "don't worry about it."

"I'm not worried- I'm- uh," Jess stumbled for words, glancing between Dipper's eyes and the hand he placed on her shoulder.

"After you," Dipper sighed, and Jess ducked her head forward and marched after her brother and Mabel. Once he was alone with Wendy, Dipper sighed and shook his head. "She's still thinking it," he said quietly.

"Young love dies hard, doesn't it?" Wendy patted his shoulder, surprising him that she had approached. When his wide eyes found her, she chuckled and looked back. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just... you aren't going to watch the counter?" Dipper asked.

"Nah. Stan can deal with it," Wendy said and pushed past him, "I'm a little more interested in what's going on with your friends."

"Right," Dipper nodded and followed after her, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks as he swallowed the feelings of betrayal. There she was, doing it again: acting so normal and completely casual when Dipper _knew_ there was something she was hiding. Following her into the hallway and turning back into the living room gave him a moment to sort out his thoughts and prepare himself for the story to come.

Inside the living room, the eyes had changed from Yuki, whom Candy and Grenda had been bombarding with questions, to the siblings. As Mabel tossed a large blanket off the sofa chair onto Jace, she offered the seat to them.

"Sit down, get warm, and then drop the word," Mabel told the siblings. Jace quickly spun the blanket around him and squeezed himself tightly. Only a few moments passed before he tossed it all to Jess, who caught it roughly and stumbled back- the momentum and weight of the mostly dry blanket nearly toppling her over.

"So, uh," Jace stated, as the entirety of the room stared at him, a total of six pairs of eyes on him, "I'm Jace," he waved to Candy, Grenda, and Yuki, "Hiya. This is my little sister-" Jess pushed his face, and his words were muffled.

"I'm Jessandra. Hello," she waved curtly to them.

"Greetings," Yuki waved his hand once above his head, getting over the impending height of Grenda, "I am Uki-Dohth."

"I'm Grenda!"

"My name is Candy."

"Nice name," Jace pointed to Candy with a wink. Candy instantly blushed and put her hands to her mouth. Grenda grinned and patted her friend's back in approval.

"Don't flirt with my friends too much," Mabel told Jace, flicking the back of his head, "you'll get their hopes up."

"Flirting? Oh c'mon," he protested to his friend, turning to her, "I was just complimenting her name."

"Anyway," Dipper pushed into the room past the others, "there was something important you wanted to tell us." The siblings once again froze up, looking to Dipper and Mabel. The room once again awaited the words of these new-comers.

"Uh... we were thinking something a little more... private?" Jace said to the twins.

"Oh, this is a secret thing, isn't it?" Candy asked to Mabel, who shrugged.

"Don't know. Still figuring that part out," Mabel pointedly said, giving Jace an look.

"Dipper," Jess said quietly, walking towards him, "can we trust these people?"

"Absolutely," Dipper nodded, "they're the extended mystery crew, honestly."

"Seeing weird stuff is what we do," Candy added.

"Or we ARE the weirdos! HA! YEAH!" Grenda flexed, displaying her impressive build.

"I... I'm not so sure," Jess murmured quietly. Dipper sighed, and looked to Yuki.

"Yuki," he called, drawing the attention of the third employee of the building, "I think you and these two have something in common."

"What?" Yuki gasped and looked to the hoodie wearing twins. In the highly advanced and trained mind of Uki-Dohth, clues piled up quickly and he gasped when he came to a conclusion. He stepped past Candy, Grenda and Wendy, and faced Jace and Jess. With a sigh that resolved his actions, Yuki reached up and pulled away his beanie. Candy, Grenda and the siblings gasped as the leaf-like extensions flopped out like green dyed hair, and he sighed, giving them a gentle toss.

"He's got leafs! In his hair!" Grenda stated.

"They are not exactly leafs," Yuki established, "but they are capable of photosynthesis."

"Then... he's not human?" Jace asked as he stood up from his chair, giving the dark curly hair a closer inspection.

"No..." Yuki sighed as he looked around. "I am Xabvri. To you, an extraterrestrial from another planet."

"He's an Alien!?" Jess gasped, and she looked to Dipper, "no wonder you guys didn't care that we're harpies!"

"Harpies?!" Candy and Grenda gasped, pushing past Yuki, who stumbled away.

"Well, now that the cat's out of the bag," Jace sighed and removed the hoodie as water flew into the air, "might as well let the bird out of the cage."

"That pun was horrible," Jess grumbled as she too lowered her hood.

"Feathers," Candy and Grenda gasped, staring at the colorful array of feathers on Jace's face and on his ears. The bright arrangements shone gently in the light as he brushed them softly, showing off more of his attractiveness. Jess sighed and patted her more standard bright brown feathers, draining them of water.

"Once again, this is why Soos and I were excited to have you stick around over the summer," Wendy pointed out, "you guys make awesome friends." Dipper nodded, and his mind exploded with an opportunity as he glanced to Wendy.

"Yeah. So," Dipper looked around, "no one else has anything they might want to share with us all?" he asked around, and glanced to Wendy, who was half way through shrugging when they made eye-contact," something they've been hiding?" Dipper asked.

Wendy's eyes focused onto him. He would not drop his gaze. This was a chance, a real opportunity for her to let out whatever it was she was hiding from them all. With an alien and a pair of harpies in the room, whatever else she had to add wouldn't be as strange in comparison. Yet, Dipper's frustrations grew and intensified as her lips sealed tightly and she looked away, checking her nails.

"Okay," Dipper said, trying to contain his anger as he felt his jaw tighten, "well... Jess? Jace? Got something you were going to tell us? And remember," he glanced back to Wendy, staring very avidly at her nails, "we're all honest here. We're here to help you out."

"Well, I, uh," Jess looked around, her red cheeks deepening in color. Dipper cleared his mind of his resentment towards Wendy and stared to her. His look seemed to calm and clear her doubts, for Jess sighed and nodded.

"Dipper and Mabel met us a month ago," Jess started, "when we passed through town and were shot down by a crazy hunter."

"Who's a werewolf now, by the way," Mabel pointed out. Jace and Jess stared at her, their eyes wide.

"... okay, and since then, we've continued on our way. We had a mission you see," she explained while patting her fist against her palm in a steady beat, "to catch and retrieve a run-away phoenix."

"Wait, that phoenix that flew over the shack like last month?" Wendy asked, pushing herself towards the group, standing next to Yuki.

"Yup," Jace nodded, "the same. Something got into it's head and made it fly south to this town, and then it just kept flying to find warmer climates."

"Phoenix prosper in dry, hot places," Jess explained, "they feed off of things that burn easily- they love to eat dry wood and embers. So, Baja California is where we finally caught up with it. Taking it back wasn't too hard. Canada is going to be warmer, so it won't freak out on the way back."

"Or, so we thought," Jace added with a grumble.

"What happened?" Mabel asked, but Dipper was already on the answer.

"The storm did, didn't it?" he asked. Jess merely nodded slowly and solemnly. "That's the creature, the phoenix," Dipper announced, "the one that crashed by town."

"The one by my dad's mill," Wendy added quietly. Jess sighed and continued.

"We were half way over the town when the thunderstorm just... came out of no where," she said while scratching her head and the feathers on her ears.

"Thunderstorms can come really quickly around here," Candy admitted with a shrug, "faster in Gravity Falls than normal."

"No, this isn't any normal thunderstorm," Jess shook her head.

"A bold claim," Yuki crossed his arms and curled his lip as he thought, "but what evidence can suggest this, aside from personal experience? Are you a meteorologist?" Jace blinked and stared at Yuki. "Oh- uh, a individual who studies weather patterns."

"No, but the Phoenix is," he stated, "Jess isn't kidding when this isn't a normal thunderstorm."

"You see, because Phoenix's are elements of fire and air," Jess explained, "they are in tune with heat and wind. They're great at predicting weather, especially storms that are coming. We got around three storms all the way through california without getting a drop of water on us," she admitted proudly. Then she looked to her brother. "Then we got here."

"Before we knew it," Jace dramatized the story, using his hands as a make-shift storm fronts, "the Phoenix shrieked and dived into town. Clouds just came out of no-where, not even a hint that we had a storm to dodge!"

"We tried to get to cover with the Phoenix quickly," Jess admitted, her voice heavy as her tone, "but... the rain started too quickly. The phoenix just couldn't handle it. It fell... and we had to abandon it."

"What?" Dipper gasped. "Why?"

"It landed in the mill, duh?" Mabel answered for the siblings, "they can't be seen. Like, imagine two flying people just landed next to a burning bird. The police would round them up just as quick as lightning."

"But why is it important to get it back?" Grenda asked, scratching her shoulder, "I mean, if it's your family pet or whatever-"

"We're it's guardian," Jess proclaimed defiantly.

"Yeah, sort of the job description to not let it get hurt or too far," Jace added.

"Not only that," Jess added, "phoenix's are dangerous."

"Because they will set fire to everything nearby?" Candy clarified.

The siblings shrugged and Jess further explained. "Well, sorta. I mean, fire is bad and dangerous, but here's the thing- what Phoenix leave when they die are more valuable than... gold!" The room's already quiet atmosphere was further drained of sound. The listening crowd held their breath, waiting for Jess's information. "Phoenix ashes, when warm and dry have extremely powerful healing properties. Sprinkle a little in water and drink quickly- boom. Instantly cured of all ailments."

"Heck, if you pour a whole handful of purified ashes into a dead bodies mouth," Jace added, "there's a chance they'll revive and live again."

"What?!" the group gasped.

"Phoenix ashes revive the dead?" Wendy asked, her jaw dropped.

"We've never seen it happen," Jess admitted with a warning look to her brother, likely a scolding glance to have him quiet down, "but it's true. If people, normal people figure this out... they'll kill the last phoenix we know of."

"This is the last one?" Yuki asked.

"As far as we know," Jace nodded. "My family's line has always cared for them, and this is the last one we know of. Once this one bites the... well, ashes," he cringed at his own pun, "the species goes extinct."

"So the authorities have your bird of flame?" Yuki inquired. The siblings nodded, causing the alien to squint, "and if I would to surmise the expectation you have for Dipper and Mabel, it would be that you intend to ask for help in retrieving the bird?" Another two nods were given to Yuki.

"We're not just trying to protect the bird," Jace stated, pushing himself from the chair and directly addressing his listeners as he walked around, "this is about protecting people who are willing to hurt others to get to it. Last time we came around here, a hunter shot me down so I would lead him to it. Now a whole town knows about it. When they discover the rumors about the phoenix-"

"They could begin fighting over it," Dipper finalized.

"Man, so much for a chill rainy day," Wendy sighed, leaning against the wall as she looked to the ceiling. "This is heavy stuff."

"Yeah, which part?" Mabel asked her, "the crazy part about the storm suddenly showing up only when they pass through town, the crazy part about the phoenix reviving dead people, or the part where folks are going to go nuts over it?"

"I'll take 'D', all the above," Wendy answered.

"I... do not understand," Yuki proclaimed.

"An expression," Mabel stated, and the alien nodded.

Dipper frowned as he thought. Leaning against the TV cabinet, his mind reeled at the possibilities that would happen should he not take action. Assuming the storm was just a freak of nature and would come to pass, if the phoenix was captured against its will, the entire wooden-built town could be incinerated. If they were able to capture the phoenix, they could put it into danger, and loosing a species like that didn't sit right with Dipper. It did, after all, save the shack once from the earth elemental golems. He owed it one. Dipper looked over to his sister who had just did the same. Their eye contact was the final signature of their silent contract.

"We're in," Dipper announced suddenly after a few moments of silence.

"Really?!" Jess gasped.

"Of course we are!" Mabel blew a raspberry, "we're not the kind of fools who turn away friends."

"Told ya!" Jace grinned as he wrapped an arm around Mabel's neck, "they're just like us. Not going to turn us away to help out!"

"How about you guys?" Dipper asked, eying the four listeners by the door. "Jace and Jess are our friends, and this could be dangerous."

"When is it ever not dangerous?" Wendy pointed out with a smirk.

"Indeed. I too shall help," Yuki stated, "as I am most interested in this species of exotic fauna."

"Such big words," Grenda swooned with Candy.

"He's intellectual and cute," the thin girl of Asian descent admitted with a shy grin.

"And you two?" Mabel asked, shaking her friends from their stupor.

"I think we should help," Candy nodded.

"Heck, what else are we going to do today?" Grenda chuckled, "at least now we're not just going to be dreaming about adventures with pretty boys," she said, and glanced to Yuki, who noticed and gulped, "but we'll have active participation!"

"Okay then," Dipper called around, "I guess we should get ready to head out. I get the feeling that even if I reminded the entire town that Mabel and I regularly deal with odd stuff like this, they'll not give up the phoenix so easily," he thought aloud. "So," he called, "saddle up."

"Pfft, you suck at sounding dramatic," Mabel scolded him, "it's like this," she turned and cupped her hands and shouted over the group, "LEETS SADDLE UP, SOLDIERS!"

"Who's doing what where?" Stan asked, poking his head through the doorway. Soos's head popped in from the other side.

"And that's what I was trying to avoid," Dipper nudged his sister's side angrily.

"We're going to go out and rescue a phoenix from the clutches of the town!" Mabel declared.

"Oh. Huh. Sounds dangerous," Stan said as he glared at them, "and uh... you're going with everyone here?" The twins nodded. "Well, I know I said I'd go with you... so if you get into trouble, you come back- no ifs, ands, or buts! Otherwise, good hunting. Soos!" Stan shouted, shocking the handyman into falling entirely into sight. "Come help me give out this tour."

"Wait, you mean it?" Soos gasped, pulling himself up in a rush.

"Yeah. And Yuki, go handle the cash register," Stan pointed the alien.

"But I was going to assist Mabel and Dipper-"

"They've got their personal army assembled. You need to work here and earn your keep. Now get behind that counter and stiff people!" Stan ordered, and vanished with Soos.

"Well... I suppose I will await your return," Yuki shrugged, and passed into the hallway from sight.

"Darn!" Candy and Grenda both snapped their fingers and stomped their feet.

"Uh, I could substitute for Yuki," Wendy suggested, "let him go into town."

"Whaaa?" Mabel gasped, "but you sounded really into this."

"I am!" she declared, "I totally am dude. But, you know Yuki- he's all about getting into the 'human culture'," Wendy explained. "And, you know, I'm always in town."

"Really?" Dipper asked, his eyes narrowing as he stared at Wendy. She glance to him and nodded around.

"Yeah. That way we can have the super-strength alien out there and I'll just do my lazy thing here," she stated easily, a hand sticking into her pants pocket.

Dipper's stare would not drop as he watched Wendy. No, she was lying, wans't she? Dipper was certain of it- thinking back to the many times he and Mabel had gone into town and asked for help, Wendy had almost never come. And the one time Dipper did remember Wendy coming into town, she stayed along the borders of Gravity Falls, in the woods. Granted, her reasoning at the time was stopping a wild werewolf Mabel from running rampant, but now, with Dipper recalling the various other times, it added up. Wendy didn't want to go into town for some reason.

"No Wendy," Dipper grinned, feeling a firm strength in conviction as he looked to her, "we need your help more than Yuki's. This isn't going to be a fight with people- we're going to need to talk our way out of stuff and sneak around more. That's your sort of thing."

"Uh-"

"C'mon Wendy," Dipper said to her, "we're just going into town, grabbing a burning bird, and bringing it back for Jace and Jess. Nothing too crazy, right?" he asked. Dipper's hardened eyes stared at her, watching her reaction to his insistence. The redhead seemed to have a master poker-face though: Dipper found himself internally cursing as she shrugged and nodded.

"Sure. I'll let Yuki get some first hand experience at the cash register," she said with a smile.

"So how are we getting there?" Mabel asked. Dipper finally peeled his gaze off Wendy and he thought.

"My car can only hold five-"

"I have my mom's van!" Grenda announced.

"The big love machine out front?" Jace asked. Grenda proudly nodded, and Jace swooned. "Fantastic. The world needs more sixties inspired class."

"So why don't we take both?" Dipper suggested, "that way when we finally get the bird, we can stuff it into the van, and you two," Dipper looked to Jace and Jess, "can watch it inside the van? Mabel, Wendy, and I will be in my car."

"Not a bad plan," Jess nodded.

"Okay then," Dipper announced, "now let's _actually_ head out."

The room became a buzz of movement and activity as all seven started heading towards the hallway. Grabbing jackets, lifting hoodies, slipping on boots, and preparing for the nasty weather outside took up the time they had before they all found themselves gathering in the shop, checking each other over. Yuki watched them and constantly reminded them of their needs.

As he fixed his shoes and stood up, Dipper again let his sight linger on Wendy. She was settling her boots on her feet, adjusting them for better fit and comfort. He barely shook his head and contained a growl. She had the chance, two big chances to let them know what she's hiding, and yet she still held it back. Did she think so little of him?

"Dipper?"

Dipper started and looked over to the small girl next to him. Jess was watching him, her brow furrowed.

"Hey," he said, "what is it?"

"So... is there something, uh, going on between you and Wendy?" she asked quietly, glancing to the tall redhead. Dipper blinked and also glanced to her, feeling that old heat in his neck rising.

"Not exactly," he told her, "why do you ask?"

"You keep staring at her," Jess stated, a small pink blossom in her cheeks, "I was wondering if, uh, you were trying to ask her out or something."

Dipper swallowed as lightly as he could, not wanting to display the discomfort in his throat as he looked to the younger girl before him. He had been wondering if this topic would be rearing it's head once again; with Jess's untold feelings for him. Only know she seemed aware of the possibility that Wendy may have more of a spot in Dipper's mind than her.

"It's complicated," Dipper said after a pause while he thought.

"Tell me about it," she grumbled. Dipper turned and looked right at her, and she gasped. "I-I mean, you know, I bet it is." He snickered as Jess brushed her hair and looked away. There was at least once person who, while they once held a secret, Dipper felt he could let in with a secret.

"What's going on," Dipper started, catching Jess's attention, "is Wendy has been holding something from me and Mabel."

"Another secret?" Jess asked.

"Something big enough to hide from us the entire summer. Jess," Dipper stepped in closer, frowning, "this is a girl who I've fought along side against monsters and demons, saved each other's life, and had always been friends," Dipper smiled, remembering those times now like happy experiences rather than the traumatic chances of death they had been. "If she's been holding something from me and Mabel... it's big."

Jess stared at him, her bright blue eyes shimmering as she looked between his own two brown eyes. Dipper let her get her moment to think, but she didn't look away. Instead her mouth slowly opened. A wash of comprehension seemed to wash over her, and Dipper watched as she looked sour, and turn away.

"It's not cool for close friends to hold secrets from one another," she said, "especially when you've known each for that long."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded firmly. He glanced back to Wendy, and nearly was shocked. The redhead had glanced right at him, and then looked away, talking to Mabel.

"So, we ready to go?" she asked loudly to the enigmatic twin.

"You betcha boots we're ready to go!" Mabel said.

"So here's the plan," Dipper called around, "we're going to go to these mills. Wendy, you, me and Mabel will go straight for the crash sight. Jace and Jess, take Candy and Grenda around and try to sneak out with the bird while we cause a distraction."

"Wait, I thought you wanted me sneaking in?" Wendy asked quickly. Dipper glanced over and nodded.

"Okay. Jess, you can come with us and Wendy will help you three out," Dipper pointed to Candy, Grenda and Jace. "Wendy, you can take point and lead them out of sight. If you find the bird, don't get caught."

Wendy chuckled and shook her head. "No problem."

"Okay. Into-"

"THE MYSTERY MOBLIES!" Mabel bellowed and charged out the doors in a flash. Thunder and a flash of lightning shook the ground, prompting Mabel to jump back in a second later. "You know, whenever it's convenient for everyone to go at the same time. So I don't have to go out alone."

Rushing into the cars, avoiding the rain as much as possible, the old van and Dipper's car were soon occupied. To Dipper's growing frustration, Mabel had taken a back seat, prompting Wendy to sit next to him in the front. Clutching the keys and twisting the car to ignite the engines, Dipper could have sworn he felt a static between them. There was no longer a pleasant aura, but a thorny feeling of distance. Yet Dipper swallowed this feeling better than the nice-ness from before. This fitted with how he currently felt towards Wendy.

The two vehicles turned and rushed down the soaking gravel road out of forest and down the street. The windshield wipers flipped back and forth as they threw the water out of view. Dipper stared at the coming road signs, illuminated by the car light.

"You'll want to make a right coming up," Wendy suddenly injected. Dipper glanced to her and frowned.

"But the parking for your dad's mill isn't-"

"Trust me, dude," Wendy asked. Dipper heard more than her normal joking tone in those words. She meant it now. Biting down on his teeth, he made the turn signal and turned down the street. It was a back-forest dirt path, muddy and jumpy, and Dipper suddenly regretted listening to Wendy.

"You sure about this?" Dipper heatedly asked his car bounced around roughly.

"One hundred percent," Wendy replied, "see! Look!" she pointed excitedly ahead. From the woods surroundings them, a light broke through the brush, and Dipper slowed the car down. They were overlooking the mills atop a hill.

"Ohh, tactical advantage!" Mabel proclaimed, and patted Wendy's shoulder, "nice one!"

"Thanks dude," Wendy shrugged, "you know, growing up around here sort of helped with knowing how to sneak around," Wendy said as she grinned and crossed her arms.

Dipper closed his eyes, fighting the tempting feeling to scoff at her. Instead he turned the car off and pushed open the door.

"Dipper," Mabel stated, catching him half way through the door opening, "thank Wendy."

"...good job," Dipper said curtly over his shoulder as he stepped out.

Those in the van behind them had made their way out, holding hands above their head as they sought to avoid the heavier drops of tree-rain. The group gathered at the top of the forested hill, overlooking the well-lit and destroyed building below. Logs were lined up around it in an orderly fashion, giving opportune hiding space for the stealth group.

"Okay. Wendy, take the lead. Find out where the Phoenix is and try sneaking it out. We'll go draw the cop's attention," he reminded them. He looked back, to the wet faces of his friends, and said before walking down, "be careful."

"Follow me," Wendy said, "try to keep low to the ground."

As the stealth crew slinked off into the shadows to their right, Dipper eyed his sister and Jess, who wrapped her large hoodie around her tightly. He nodded, and turned. His first dramatic step was less than impressive, as he slipped and landed half on his leg with a sickening squelch. Mabel snickered, and Jess stumbled ahead, trying to help Dipper back up.

"Uch," he groaned, "thanks Jess."

"No problem," she said with a wide grin.

"Dipper, you look like you had an accident in your pants!" Mabel laughed as she pointed to him. Dipper's face heated up and he went scarlet.

"Shut up!" he barked at her as she passed him, holding her stomach as she laughed. The chance to push her down passed, Dipper made do scooping away chunks of mud off himself and tossing it aside. Jess stayed behind him, pointing out where he had missed any of the cold wet mud. Dipper wasn't entirely certain her intent was purely noble, as it gave her a clear view of his rear, but if it meant he could remove more of the stuff from him, the better.

"Wow, there's a lot more people here than I saw," Mabel said as they emerged from the woods back into the rain.

"Yeah, no kidding," Dipper nodded along with her.

The crowds around them was thick and bustling. Umbrellas and soaked newspapers were held above people as they clamored around the mill, barely held back by the line of cops, desperately trying to restrain the crowds from pushing in to see whatever had fallen into the mill. Lights had been set up around the mill by the workers and the cops alike. While night had not come, the afternoon light barely shone through the dark grey clouds, plunging the town into near darkness.

"So, what do we do to start drawing attention?" Jess asked.

"We could reveal we have a harpy with us?" Mabel suggested.

"No!" Dipper and Jess both gasped and turned on her. Mabel rolled her eyes.

"They'd take her away then as well," Dipper hissed at her.

"It was a joke, jeesh kiddos," Mabel said, "why not just do this?" and without a second thought, she stepped into the crowd and started passing by others. Dipper and Jess quickly caught up as they shoved bodies out of the way. Then Mabel ducked under a cop quickly and started for the main building entrance. Dipper and Jess did the same, and quickly a pair of cops spotted them.

"Hey!" they shouted, running over with their hands outstretched, "you don't have permission to be here!"

"Excuse me," Mabel turned on him, her balled up fists on her hips, "you're speaking to part one of two of the Mystery Twin duo," she proclaimed. "It's our job to investigate and find wonky-doodly stuff and discover what's going on behind it."

"Y-yeah!" Dipper added in, "if there's a strange creature in here, we have rights by nature of our position," Dipper made up quickly," to go in and investigate."

"And I'm the understudy!" Jess proclaimed.

"There's no strange creature inside," the second cop said, adjusting his hat with a twitch of his hands, "just a, uh... weather balloon."

"Oh c'mon!" Dipper groaned," A weather balloon? Seriously? That's the worst one! You could have made up almost _anything_ else, and I may have congratulated you on trying!"

"It's a phoenix," Jess told the two tall cops, "now let us in to get a peek."

"I'm going to say this one more time," the first cope of the two said, his voice stiffening, "you need to-"

"Officers," a new voice called from behind them, as a pair of hands reached out, pushing them aside, "they're with me. It's okay."

"Zander?!" the twins gasped.

"Omigod!" Jess gasped as she clasped both her hands to her face.

Zander Maximillion stood between them, his trademark smile presented as he winked to the three. "Gentlemen, they're good kids. Let them in with me."

"Well, can't argue with a celebrity," the first cop shrugged, "in you go. Don't start any trouble, you hear?" he pointedly said at the three as they marched in with Zander.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up," Zander told them as he turned to speak to them at the door of the building. His eyes met Jess, and he grinned as he outstretched a hand. "Hi!" he said to her, "Zander Maximi-"

"I know who you are, oh my god, oh my god!" Jess gasped as she gingerly took his hand and shook it.

"A friend of yours?" Zander asked the twins, and he looked to her carefully, "I'm going to guess, if you know the twins and you're younger... you're not human."

"I... uh," Jess glanced to Dipper and Mabel, who both nodded. She pulled away half of her hoodie, showing her feathers.

"Woah!" Zander gasped and looked closer. "A harpy!"

"Great guess," she said with a beaming smile, "my brother and I were guarding the Phoenix when it crashed here. Dipper and Mabel's friends are going to help us get it back."

Zander's face dropped as he listened to the story. It was easily the first time Mabel and Dipper had seen such a reaction to the man. Always upbeat and positive, this reaction scared them as he glanced behind himself to the door and then back to them.

"Well, I'm afraid it's a little more complicated than that," Zander stated as he looked to Jess with sad, tired eyes.

"What is it?" Mabel asked, "it's not... dead, is it?" Mabel asked as Jess's eyes widened, listening very intently to Zander.

"No," another voice familiar to the twins said as a bleach blonde teenager stepped out and next to Zander, "but if we don't stop my parents, that may change soon."

"Pacifica!" Mabel out cried, and hugged the teenager quickly.

"Ack! Mabel! You're getting my dress soaked!" Pacifiac protested until finally Mabel let go. "And there it goes; wrinkles. Got to get it pressed again."

"We can deal with your dress later, Pacifica," Dipper reminded her harshly. She glanced up from her dress and grinned.

"Tough guy act again? You must be having a bad day," she said with a look to Mabel. Then her eyes met Jess, who was scowling at her. "Who're you?"

"I'm Jess. I'm Dipper's friend."

"Whatever," Pacifica nodded and looked back to Zander, "it's gone. They beat us here."

"Damn," Zander swore quietly, putting a hand to his face.

"Who beat you here?" Dipper asked.

"Who's gone? The Phoenix?" Mabel asked.

"Where to?" Jess asked.

"One second!" Pacifica snapped. "God you guys, it isn't like me and Zander are trying to fix this whole thing."

"Pacifica, relax," Zander put a gentle hand to her shoulder. Miraculously, her raised shoulders dropped as she sighed and nodded.

"Half an hour ago, during my practice," Pacifica said, indicating to Zander, "my dad called me and told me to get home. He said something about how the family was going to soon own the rarest species of animal on the planet," Pacifica explained. "Then Zander told me that something crashed into the Corduroy mills, and that it may have been alive. Look, my parents have money, so they can get away with a lot, but I heard what it was-"

"The phoenix," Jess interjected.

"Yes, I know," Pacifica heatedly said.

"But it landed here, in the Corduroy's place!" Mabel exclaimed, "shouldn't it belong to Manly Dan then?"

"If not, technically the local government?" Dipper added.

Zander laughed as he rubbed his neck. "Let's try to imagine that the Phoenix doesn't belong to anyone."

"Yeah," Jess nodded, her eyes shining in appreciation, "it's a free spirit. It goes where it wants to- you just need to persuade it to want something if you want to get it to do anything."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about," Pacifica pointed out, eyeing the smaller girl. Jess smirked and nodded.

"My brother and I guarded it, along with my family for years," she explained.

"Great job so far," Pacifica sighed as she looked around at the splintered wooden shards on the ground. Jess scowled as she glared at Pacifica.

"So then what happened?" Dipper demanded, "you made it sound like the phoenix wasn't here."

"It isn't," Pacifica turned to him quickly, "my parents came here and took it away!"

"They're allowed to!?" Mabel proclaimed.

"Apparently," Zander sighed darkly, "if you are the only family to have an exotic hunting license in Gravity Falls, it gives you 'dibs' to anything that might otherwise go to scientists or zoos."

"That's not fair!" Jess cried out.

"I know that!" Pacifica called to her, "I'm not particularly fond of my mom and dad, in case you didn't know."

"Well, _I_ didn't," Jess pouted.

"So they took it to your manor?" Dipper demanded, reaching for Pacifica's arms. She nodded and Dipper growled. That building was not a place he enjoyed thinking back to. Several dates had taken place in those walls with the blond girl before him, and each time he had to deal with the hateful stares of both Northwest elders as they judged every single thing he did with their daughter. Not only that, the frightening memory of death by turning into wood lingered at that place.

Once again, an entity that dealt with flame was at the Northwest's place.

"Okay. Pacifica," Dipper said to her, "we need your help. We're trying to get the phoenix out of here before people begin to act crazy about it," he said. "Jess here and her brother- if we can get it back to them and make the bird strong again, we should be able to make it strong enough to have them all fly out of here together."

"Pacifica," Zander added, glancing to her, "this is a good idea. Manly Dan already is running around the crowd, shouting about how they should storm your parent's place. They want the bird back."

"It's already started?!" Dipper gasped.

"Crazy spreads quickly," Mabel noted.

"Yes, it does," Zander said, looking to the crowds of restless people. "Look, I'll stay behind and try to level them out. Pacifica-"

"I'll get them to my place and get the phoenix back to them," she nodded.

"You- really?" Dipper asked, grinning.

"I'm not a jerk, Dipper," Pacifica told him. When he stared at her for a moment, she sighed and shrugged, "all the time. I'm critical about stuff, but I don't like that my parents can just claim something as rare as this as their own without any real cause. I'm going to get it to you," she said to Jess, "and your brother."

"Th-thank you," Jess said with a half-smile.

"Get going you four," Zander said, as noise from the crowd behind them grew, "I'll meet you guys afterwards by the Mystery Manor."

"Let's go," Pacifica said, moving towards the crowd. Dipper held her arm quickly, stalling the blonde. "What?" she demanded.

"Not yet. We have a group sneaking around here- we need to get everyone updated, then we go."

"Ugh. Fine," Pacifica said, and looked at the three before her, "lead on."

* * *

A lot happened in this chapter. Any questions? XD

And if you thought THIS chapter was long, wait until part two- the dramatic conclusion. So, a lot of you got the prediction right for this first part of the chapter, or at least an inkling of what's coming. Any predictions to what is going to happen in the conclusion next week?

So I've been getting a lot of fan-art since my request for some a few episodes ago. And, frankly, I'M SO STOKED. You guys are kicking ASS out there with your work. I wish I had your talents at art- whether by hand or computer, because then I'd be doodling this all day and desperately trying to animate this. But then again, that's why I have the wonderful talents of you artists out there. So. Freakin'. Cool.

Also- a shout out to my boy theEquestrianIdiot2.0, who included Jace and Jess in his most recent posting of his story of one-shots and short stories called 'Click'. Him and I have worked really closely on many of the chapters included, and it's an honor to have my OC's involved somewhere other than this story.

Now, if you'll excuse me, (EZB slips on a large and thick vest, attached to a long rope which dangles out of his window and into the sky) I have a plane to catch. (EZB is suddenly yanked forward and crashes through the wall. His anguish doesn't stop there- rather than being lifted up and out, he continues to fly through more and more buildings, crashing each time through walls and rooms with sickening thuds.)


	38. Ashes in the Sky: Part 2

From the shadowed side of the building, four figures slunk out of sight from the angered crowds by the street and office building. The woods covered their trail, leaving little to no trace of their advance through the mud. The leading figure, a girl with a lumberjacks hat and long red hair held out a hand behind her, pushing the tall, wide shouldered woman behind her to a stop.

"Hold here. There's someone in sight," Wendy Corduroy said, peering from above the bush before them.

"If they see us, I'll just grapple them down!" Grenda told Wendy, peering over the bush as well. Candy and Jace's head also popped up and out as well, peering to the left as they stared towards a pair of cops that were talking to one another.

"Avoiding detection is about taking the chances as they comes," Wendy quietly told them, "if we just go rush 'em, we could be seen by someone else."

"And... I'll just grapple them too?" Grenda suggested. Wendy shook her head and sighed.

"Then what do we do?" Jace asked.

"We wait until the opportunity arises," Candy mimed Wendy, who smiled and nodded at her.

"Right. It shouldn't be long now," Wendy stated firmly," most cops in Gravity Falls aren't top notch anyway. These two will probably take a break in a few minutes."

"Really?" Jace asked, eying Wendy up and down. She nodded and grinned. "You sound like you've done your fair share of this kind of thing."

"It's a boring town. My friends and I used to have to make fun when there wasn't anything to do," Wendy explained, "so that sometimes meant that we had to break a few rules. Sneak around a few times. Borrow a few police cruisers."

"Dude," Jace snickered, and patted Wendy's shoulder, "that's intense."

"Never felt like it when I was doing it," Wendy shrugged while giving him a thankful grin.

"I can see why Mabel and Dipper like being around you," Candy stated. Wendy grinned, and looked away, staring into the bush.

"Yeah!" Grenda added, slapping Wendy's back with a loud clap. Wendy barely flinched, but instead turned quickly and gave her a short 'shh'. "Oops, sorry," Grenda apologized, "but it's crazy that all of us don't hang out."

"Well, you know, older than you guys," Wendy said, pointing to herself.

"How old are you?" Jace asked.

"Eighteen," Wendy declared.

"Oh, really?" Jace gasped, "you... don't take this the wrong way, but you still look like our age."

"Yeah. Genes decided that I'd be less my dad and more my mom it seems," Wendy sighed as she stared into the bush distantly.

"We should hang out more," Candy declared, looking at Jace. he laughed but shook his head.

"As soon as Jess and I get the phoenix, we need to take it home and keep it safe," he told them with a hint of disappointment, "so we're heading out as soon as we can. Sorry."

"Aww," Candy groaned with Grenda. "What about you, Wendy?" Candy asked, leaning out further, to better look at Wendy. "We should talk at school more often."

"Yeah! We, like, never see you in school," Grenda stated. Wendy shrugged.

"You know, been busy," Wendy said, "and I've graduated." Candy and Grenda gasped and looked to her. "So I won't be able to hang really."

"You're done with school?" they asked in unison.

"Nice," Jace nodded, "what's your plan afterwards?" Wendy's eyes hardened as her stare went cold and still. She watched the back of the cops as they began to shuffle in their steps. They would be moving soon, and as soon as they started, they could get inside. She had no answer as she held her breath. Jace continued to stare at her. "Wendy?" he asked cautiously.

"I'll be leaving Gravity Falls," she told him, and then looked around, "okay. Get ready to go." The group all eyed her in surprise, but said nothing. "Ready? Three... two-"

"HI GUYS!" Mabel shot out from a corner of the building away from their sight, having Wendy gasp and the two ladies jump next to Jace, who had also gasped. As Mabel approached, giggling in her amusement, her brother, Jess, and the newcomer joined them. "Jace, please meet my friend-"

"Pacifica," Grenda and Candy muttered as they straightened up and glared at the blond. Pacifica Norhtwest in reply eyed them critically, her eyelids narrowing as she studied them briefly.

"Oh. Wrestle girl and math girl. Hi," she said, lacking any amount of enthusiasm. Then her eyes fell on Jace, and she blinked. "I, uh, don't know you. I'm Pacifica," she stated with a polite smile and formal handshake from the harpy.

"My name's Jace," he said. He smiled in reply to Pacifica's grin, yet his gaze turned next to Dipper, where his younger sister was shaking his hand and mouthing something to him. 'She's stupid rude' Jess silently communicated. Jace blinked, looked back to Pacifica, and dropped his hand. "So, uh, I take it you know Dipper and Mabel?"

"You could say that," Pacifica nodded.

"Friends?" Jace asked. Pacifica squinted, and looked to the twins, who stared back.

"I... suppose you could say that," she sighed. When Pacifica looked back, she spotted Wendy, and blinked. "You're... Wendy Corduroy, aren't you?" Pacifica asked. Wendy stared back while nodding slowly. "Huh. Hadn't seen you much in school this year."

Dipper looked from Pacifica to Wendy, his mouth open slightly. His anticipation felt palpable. She hadn't been in school much?

"Yeah. Kind of been keeping to myself," Wendy shrugged. Pacifica nodded, and turned to the twins.

"Okay, so are you two going to let them know or should I?" Pacifica asked.

"So," Mabel stepped up, "the phoenix isn't here."

"What!?" the four in the 'sneaking' group declared. Dipper watched as Mabel began to explain bit-by-bit how they had come across Zander and Pacifica and the news that followed. Yet he found himself watching Wendy. Her reaction to this seemed genuine, yet all he could wonder was what it meant. Pacifica wasn't dumb or unobservant; maybe a little stubborn to match Dipper, but certainly she knew what she was talking about.

"Dipper?" Jess's voice stirred Dipper from the reaches of his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"You were staring at her again," Jess pointed out. Dipper sighed and looked away quickly. "So... you do like her."

"I said it's complicated," he assured her, trying to maintain a civil tone. It felt a little invasive for Jess to suddenly become interested with his interests, even if it's about Wendy. "I know she's hiding something-"

"I know, but Dipper," she said, crossing her arms as the two of them spoke quietly under Mabel's explanation, "she's supposed to be your old friend. Why is she holding something... this big from you?"

"I don't know," Dipper said, biting at the words a bit more, "I intend to find out why."

"But how can you like her, call her a friend still, and even trust her," Jess pointed out, her eyes widening and sparkling in the light around the building, "when you know she's withholding things from you?"

Dipper closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He didn't need to be hearing this out loud. These words, Jess's concerns, all had at some point or another floated into his head and begged to be answered. Now there was a second voice, her tone, demanding attention and Dipper couldn't help but agree with her. He felt cheated and lied to- knowing that Wendy considered him a friend all this time but had something hiding away from them. This was Dipper and Mabel, after all- the king and queen of secrets and mysteries. Instead Dipper chewed on his lip for a moment and groaned.

"Well, Jess, you had your own secret you hid from me, remember?" Dipper said.

"Which we ended up sharing together!" she quietly urged him, taking a half step closer. Dipper was above her, looking down at the girl who seemed lost in what could have been anger and wonder. "Jace and I held secrets when we met, but now we trust one another! Why... why is it different for Wendy?" Jess demanded as her voice trembled quietly.

Dipper found no answer, but looked back to Wendy. Again, he was certain as he looked to her, her eyes tore away from him just at the right moment. Was she aware he was sneaking closer to finding answers about her?

"Dipper, we... are friends, right?" Jess asked timidly next to him.

Dipper whipped around instantly and felt a smile stretch on his face. "Yes," he promised her," of course we are! I like having you and Jace around," he told her, a hand to her shoulder, "you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. It's kind of like having a younger sister I never had."

Dipper had hoped his words of comfort would have consoled the young girl next to him. Her smile seemed forced, and the light in her eyes faded.

"Y-yeah," she nodded, "younger sister."

"Caught up!" Mabel whipped around to Jess and Dipper.

"Good," Dipper stepped forward, "since the phoenix isn't here, we're going right away to the Northwest Manor."

"Really?" Grenda asked, holding her hands close as she nervously glanced between the group, "so, uh, there won't be a crazy ghost there this time, right?"

"Hah!" Pacifica snorted, "I'm a good note-taker. Dipper had me learn more than a few techniques to dealing with spirits when they're unwanted."

"So that's what you two did on dates?" Mabel asked, disappointment flooding her tone. Jess gasped.

"You two dated?" she demanded. Dipper turned around and shrugged.

"Three years ago, yeah," he nodded.

"Anyway," Pacifica interrupted Jess as she opened her mouth to inquire further, "I'm going to lead you guys to a secret panic tunnel that my family use should they need to escape quickly. You get in, grab the bird, and get out."

"Sounds easy enough," Jace grinned.

"She's ignoring the fact that there are guards in her home," Dipper said, "more than a few could be waiting for us." Pacifica sighed.

"I'm sorry, you two were going to fight a giant spider a month ago?" she indicated to the twins. "As much as my family guards aren't pushovers, are you telling me you can't handle them?"

"I'd try not risking anything," Dipper retorted, feeling a flash of heat against his back as he stared at Pacifica. "Or would you prefer the phoenix gets loose and burns down your home?" Dipper asked. She sighed and nodded in resign.

"Okay, fine. I'll distract my parents and the guards with something," she stated.

"You make it sound like you're rich," Jess stated. Pacifica scoffed and the rest of the group excepting Jace nodded in unison.

"Northwests are well off," Pacifica said, glancing to her fingernails.

"Don't go boasting it," Dipper told her. Pacifica glared at him, but said nothing. "Okay. Let's head out."

Escaping back to the cars in the hill was made slightly more difficult. The cops were more agitated by the growing dissent of the mob. Manly Dan was constantly shouting to them and the police about their rights to the mysterious bird, and how this hadn't been the first time that the Northwests had stiffed the people of the town. Eventually they were able to sneak away and back up the hill, with minimal complaining by Pacifica as she despised the mud they clambered through.

"Someone else parked here," Pacifica pointed ahead as they grew near to the two vehicles.

"Huh? Where?" Mabel asked, "I only see our cars."

"What? But these are old-people cars," Pacifica gasped as she stared at the van.

"It's classy!" Grenda protested as she stepped inside the driver seat.

"And mine isn't even old!" Dipper argued, "it's only three years old!"

"How does it still run!?" Pacifica gasped as she stared at it. Dipper shook his head as he returned the look, and Pacifica soon realized that she was alone in the shock. "Cars... don't break down that quickly?"

"No," everyone else told her.

Barely half an hour had passed since they climbed into the cars and sped their away from the lumber mill and the group of recon teenagers were in the shadow of the manor. The Northwest Manor was as prestigious, affluent, and as guarded as ever. Coming near the initial drive-way entrance, the group spotted no less than six guards sternly standing in the rain. Instead, Pacifica reached past Dipper's face and pointed to a darkened path by the woods.

"Follow it around the hill," she told Dipper.

With only a mild grunt at the indignation of cutting his vision in half with her arm, Dipper slowly turned the wheel and began his climb through rough woods. Fallen branches, puddles of mud, rocks, and the occasional retreating raccoon stood before them. Dipper eyed the woods around him, feeling the nostalgia of this area creeping into his brain.

"You remember, don't you?" Pacifica asked as she leaned back into her seat, looking to Dipper.

"Huh?" he feigned, merely glancing to Pacifica as she watched him. A moment of her stares in the side of his vision force him to surrender his thoughts. "Yeah. I remember."

"Is this where you two went on dates?" Mabel asked excitedly. Next to her, Jess coughed loudly and spat. "Man, I've always wanted to know what you two did together."

"Uh," Dipper spotted Jess in the rear view mirror, her mouth twisted in a horrified and silent realization.

"Nothing," Pacifica sighed, putting her head against the window as she stared up the hill to her home, "had plenty of chances to do things. Dipper just wanted to show me how brilliant and nerdy he is."

"I was trying to prepare you in case more things like this happened," he retorted bitterly.

"With good reason," Jess interjected.

"Sorry, you were part of this conversation?" Pacifica asked, glancing once over her shoulder to Jess. The harpy folded her arms as her cheeks darkened.

"She has a point, girly," Mabel said, her tone bouncy and musical. Pacifica let herself sink into the seat further, grumbling lightly to herself. Dipper eyed her once as he turned around a tree, seeing an old opened gate ahead.

"We're here," Pacifica said, pointing at the gate.

"I don't see-"

"Duh, it's hidden," Pacifica snorted as Dipper slowed his car next to a trio of thick trees. Pacifica eyed a thick brush nearby the three trees, and then looked to Dipper and Mabel. "Those trees there hide a passage underground that leads unto the manor. Follow it up. It should be close enough to the hall where my dad is keeping it."

"You're not coming?" Dipper asked as Pacifica made to open her door.

"I need to distract my dad. Otherwise he'll be watching it all day and night I bet," she explained, a heaviness in her eyes. As she opened the doors slowly, looking at the twins, she forced a smile. "There aren't a lot of people who I believe could pull this off like this... good luck you guys," she said. Then she stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

"Okay then," Dipper said, and followed suit, "let's go."

"Cold and wet again, blah!" Mabel whined as she and Jess stepped out after him. From the van behind them, the other four stepped out and met them by the tree. Dipper lead them over and quickly pushed aside a large branch. His fingers could feel the sharp differences between the branch he held and that from the Corduroy Mill- the one he touched here was plastic. Past the vegetation was a rounded double-door.

"Here we go. Stay quiet and stick together. There's no knowing what kind of security the Northwests have waiting," Dipper announced.

"Stealth mission is a go!" Mabel told him.

The two metal doors opened loudly enough as Dipper reached over with Mabel and pulled them out. Inside was a long, rising hallway devoid of steps. Lights flickered on as they stared inside. Stepping inside, the group found that the incline was not so unforgiving to need such steps, but still, their incline presented itself a challenge. Dipper and Mabel kept pace with Wendy, but Candy and Grenda, along with the harpies, found the steady climb more tedious. More fluorescent lights came on as they stepped inward, and more behind them turned off.

"I never liked Stairmaster," Grenda grumbled as she pushed with her arms against her legs.

"And this is why flying is better," Jess agreed.

"C'mon you guys," Jace patted his sister's shoulder, increasing his pace to keep with Mabel and Dipper, "we're almost there! Right?" he asked the front three. Wendy shrugged and looked to the twins.

"I hope so. Unless this is a hallway that goes on forever," Dipper stated, "we should be getting there soon."

"Indeed-el-lee! I see the secret door!" Mabel declared as she dramatically thrust her hand and index finger forward. A wall of wooden tile, similar to that of the rest of the interior of the building, stood before them. Dipper knew the look, and silently agreed.

Okay," Dipper turned as they met the wall, now facing the group, "we have no idea if there are guards out there. Mabel and I are going to give a listen through the door and see what we can guesstimate."

The twins lowered their head towards the side panel. To their luck, there was sound coming through from the other side. Dipper squinted as he tried his best to listen. The voices were deep and gruff, talking in brutish tones befitting a bodyguard. Fire, bird, and watching were frequent words they both heard.

"It sounds like they're talking about the phoenix," Mabel said quietly.

"Yeah, sounds right," Dipper nodded.

"What about it?" Jess asked, pushing around Wendy forcefully to stand next to he brother. Wendy frowned but said nothing.

"Don't know," Dipper shook his head.

"Do they say it's here?" Jess demanded.

"Or where they're keeping it?" Jace added.

"Guys, chill," Wendy looked to them both, "they're trying to eavesdrop."

"Pfft, yeah," Jess snorted, looking away from Wendy, "we know."

Wendy turned to the younger girl, shocked at the tone. While she begin to open her mouth, she looked to her brother, who had also noticed the attitude. He only shrugged, and Wendy looked away.

Dipper listened intently on the outside world of the panel. There were more words being exchanged, and he listened harder. Yet his needed focus was lost as soon as a loud blare of a siren shook the wall Dipper and Mabel had been listening to. They both gasped and clasped the sides of their hands against their ears and stumbled back.

"I'm lopsided now! Dangit!" Mabel grunted as she poked at the inside of her ear, and possibly her brain, with her finger. Dipper shook himself as the sirens continued. A loud pounding against the floor made him and Mabel step back. People were running past the panel.

"Mabel... you thinking what-" Dipper said as he turned to her. A devilish smile met his gaze, and he grinned in return. Somewhere else in the building, the guards had been called to, leaving them ready to where they needed to. "Three... two... one!" They both charged at the panel and knocked it aside. The hinged door swung open rapidly and slammed against the wall next to it, revealed to the twins their location.

"Okay, we're in. File in guys," Dipper called over his shoulder as he looked around. There was a long, line of trophies on the wall of various animals; local and exotic. As Jess and Jace stepped in, they gasped. Jess put a hand over her mouth as she looked around the long hallway.

"Oh no," she said as she shook her head. "Is this what they're going to do to it?"

"If they kill it, it'll explode into fire," Jace pointed out, "there's no stuffing a phoenix and mounting it on a plaque."

"A phoenix will explode into fire?" Dipper demanded as he looked both directions.

"When it dies, yup," Jace nodded.

"Then we should get moving," Candy pointed out.

"Correct," Mabel nodded, "but which waaay?"

"I'm vibing this direction," Wendy pointed to the right of hallway from their entrance of the hidden passage.

"Any particular reason?" Jess asked slyly. Wendy shook her head and pointed again.

"Just feeling like that's the way to go, that's all," she said innocently.

"Better than what we have now," Dipper stated, "let's go."

The group moved their way down the hallway, tentatively lead by Wendy. She eyed the portraits and stuffed animals lined around the hallways with a careful eye. Eventually, as she turned a corner and lead the group down another hallway, she looked to Dipper. "None of these guys come to life now, right?" she asked. Dipper said nothing, but shook his head.

"They like their animals. I've seen at least one type of every bird imaginable here, and then a few species that I think are extinct," Jace added worriedly.

"Northwests like keeping trophies," Dipper said, his tone barely audible as he looked around. While he did so, a loud shriek echoed through the hall. It was shrill and vibrant enough for all to wince and cover their ears but for Jace, Jess, and Wendy, who just blinked and shivered.

"That's it! The phoenix is close!" Jess shouted. She hurtled ahead, having the group trail her steps by only a few feet difference. Soon the sounds of struggling and loud squawks were close, and Jess turned down a doorway in the middle of a hallway. Once the doorway was revealed, she gasped.

Overlooking a large dance floor, the group filed in and found a wrapping balcony. Thin wooden railing stood between the group and a fifteen foot drop. Yet the most pronounced feature of the room was tied down in the center of the room. Large glowing red chains tied a large exotic animal to the ground.

"We have to get it out!" Jess gasped, and raced towards a set of stairs close to them running down to the floor below. The others followed suit- Jace even leapt over the others, expanding his feathers out and gliding next to Jess. "Oh, Jace, she's hurt," Jess told him as she slid to a stop next to the large black eyes of the bird clumped in a mess on the floor.

"We need to get these metal chains off of her," Jace said aloud. He and Jess made for one of the chains, but found the heat resonating from them too hot to touch. "Crud! That's scorching!"

"What do we do?" Dipper inquired around, demanding a lead to break the bird loose.

"Dump water on the chains?" Candy offered.

"If these chains cool, the phoenix may become even more weak. We need to find a way to break them free," Jace said around.

"Or unlock it," Wendy said as well. From above them, a new voice spoke.

"Something you'll find is quit impossible."

All seven heads turned and stared above them. Two middle-aged figures stood above them, easily looking down on them with sneers. The speaker was a mustached man with a tall body and wide shoulders. The woman next to him had many wrinkles on her face and more makeup than she could have ever needed. The Northwests were directly above them.

"Now, how exactly did you sound off my alarm on the front gate and beat myself and my wife here? That's quite the distance to top," Preston Northwest studied them, holding something to the side, hidden from view.

"Can't we just have them arrested and throw out?" Mrs. Northwest asked her husband, leaning on the railing as she examined those below us. She cringed as she looked to the harpy siblings and Candy and Grenda. "They'd certainly deserve it, with their fashion."

"Oh, it's _these_ kind of people," Jace rolled his eyes.

"The only one arrested here should be you two!" Dipper accused, pointing to them.

"The Phoenix was never yours to begin with you big-bird snatching monsters," Mabel called.

"Perhaps not," Mr. Northwest shrugged, "yet, I don't see a claim to the bird. Old Corduroy may think he has rights, but it merely landed in his land. Not a very strong claim over this majestic creature."

"First of all," Wendy stepped forward, glaring up at the duo, "he's got a better claim than you two do!"

"And second of all," Dipper added as the wide and husband Northwest stared down at Wendy, analyzing her, "the phoenix does belong to someone! These two!" Dipper pointed to the siblings. "They protect it and watch out for it."

"Wonderful job done," The wife sneered, flashing her unnaturally straight teeth.

"Indeed so. After all, letting a burning bird plummet to the ground is exactly what I expected when I hear the phrases 'protect' and 'watch out for it'," the husband chuckled as he ran his fingers along the edge of the railing, "so now, if you two don't mind, "he indicated the harpies, "I'm just going to have to remove the animal from your care, as clearly you are unfit for it's service."

"Like heck you'd do anything better!" Grenda stepped forward, her firsts clenched.

"Yeah! What's your deal, Northwest?" Dipper asked.

"The rumor of the bird is that when it dies, it sheds much of it's form before it reforms into a new egg and hatches again. The ashes that fall to the earth while warm have properties that even the miracles of modern science and medicine cannot accomplish," Preston explained lazily, rolling his hand through the air in front of him, "and all I shall accomplish is harnessing these powders and selling them to the highest bidder. After all, whomever has these ashes can cheat death itself."

"Jokes on you," Jess snickered, "the ashes only work when hot! After they cool, they become dust and are useless."

"Something I had anticipated," Preston said with a chuckle, "after all, what's the use of having heat-absorbent containers that retain form even in the hottest of temperatures?"

"Dad!"

The Parents whipped their gazes away to the opening in the hallway as Pacifica came in, her face pale and frightened. No sooner had they whipped their heads than Jace and Wendy sprung to action. As Dipper and Mabel reacted to their jump and moved towards the stairs as fast as they could, Jace was high into the air and nearly onto the father northwest.

Out from the older man's back came a double barreled hunting rifle. Fast as lightning and accurate as death, the richest man in town pulled the trigger. Jace's whole world stopped as Jess screamed, and the gun shot loudly into the air.

No charcoal black cloud or fire erupted from the barrel end. Instead a large dart flew out and struck Jace in the shoulder. The moment he had turned to see the dart while in mid-air, the world wobbled and shook. As Wendy pulled herself up from the balcony, Jace fell backwards and plummeted to the ground. Grenda ran forward with Jess in time to catch him.

Wendy had lunged towards the parents, barely missing them in her outstretched hands. The wife had been pushed aside and back against a wall as the husband snarled and aimed again to Wendy. She rushed forward as the trigger was pulled.

"Wendy!" Dipper shouted as he, Mabel, and Pacifica rushed behind her.

Wendy never flinched as the dart struck her shoulder. Instead, she successfully grasped the end of the barrel, ripped it from his hands, and swiped it hard across his face, knocking the man into the air with a loud crack. Hitting the ground a moment later, Preston Northwest slumped down groaning falling quiet.

"PRESTON!"

"DAD!"

Wendy stood and watched as the wife and daughter rushed by her. Tossing the hunting weapon aside, she reached up and yanked out the dart, and let it drop to the ground. Dipper and Mabel found themselves at her side just in time for her to look to them, and stumble. Dipper quickly reached out and pulled her upright.

"Ohh boy... that's, uh, going to my head," she said, holding her hands to her face, staring intently upwards.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Mabel asked, showing three.

"Five?" Wendy asked, blinking a few times.

"Better than six," Mabel shrugged.

"Mabel, hold Wendy for me," Dipper asked her, feeling a heat rush into his cheeks again as he felt Wendy against his chest. Lifter her and letting his sister watch her, he turned to the edge of the platform. Jace was being tended to by the ladies below. "How is he?" Dipper quickly asked.

"He's out cold," Candy said, "it was a tranquilizer."

"One of my dad's stronger one's too," Pacifica muttered as she walked over, holding up the dropped needle from Wendy. "This has enough in it to make a moose's knees wobble."

"And Wendy and Jace just got... a whole load of it?" Dipper demanded.

"They should be okay. Just make sure they keep moving around when they wake up," Pacifica told him as she tossed the dart over her shoulder. "Dipper, you guys need to get the phoenix out now!"

"Why? I thought you distracted them," Mabel pointed out.

"With an alarm. Good choice," Dipper admitted as he held Wendy stay stable and upright.

"Because it wasn't me!" Pacifica explained, "a mob is on the way! They want the phoenix, and they're breaking the gate down!"

"What?!" The twins and Wendy gasped in trio.

"I didn't get a chance to do anything because people are already here! They even got torches ready! Like, those stupid hand-held sticks and logs you light on fire?" she asked, "yeah, they got them somehow."

"Then we need to get the phoenix out now!" Dipper told her as Wendy shook her head wildly, throwing her hair into their faces.

"Whoa, sorry," she quietly said. Pacifica grunted and spun around, stomping towards her mother. The older blond woman made no indication she even saw Pacifica reach insider her father's pocket and withdraw a large set of keys on a ring.

"Here," Pacifica called, tossing it down to Grenda and Candy, "get it up and out. The sooner you can get it away from the manor the better. Just don't get caught, okay?" she reminded them forcefully as the two ladies rushed to one of the floor screwed chains and unlocked it.

"Pacifica, thank-"

"Not now," Pacifica turned to Dipper and Mabel, shaking her head. "Another time! Go!"

Rushing downstairs with Wendy in tow, the twins quickly grouped up with those down below. Grenda lifted up the limp Jace and placed him on her shoulders as Jess began to calm and control the Phoenix, ruffling her feathers in controlled, slow shivers. With her hood down and her sleeves up, the girls feathers shone in the dim glow of the red, orange and gold bird before her, pushing itself up slowly. As Dipper watched it, he measured it's height.

"It's smaller than when we last saw it," Dipper said.

"It's what happens when they begin dying," Jess shivered as she spoke, "when water touches a Phoenix, it cools down part of the bird's body, and makes it harder for it to keep warm. When it shrinks, it begins to die," Jess explained, as the bird was only the size of a large horse now, as apposed to the building sized beast from almost two months ago.

"Do we need to carry it?" Mabel suggested.

"Not unless you want to set your hands on fire," Jess told her, "it'll follow me. We just need to make sure that when it's at the end of the tunnel, we get it into the car as quickly as possible. The longer it's in the rain, the weaker it is."

"Okay, let's book it then!" Mabel told them.

"I'm fine," Wendy pushed herself off of Wendy and Dipper, quickly whipping her head again, "I can run."

"Wendy, you got hit with a dart filled with-" Dipper started, but the red-head held her hand out.

"Never underestimate a corduroy."

Running back into the hallway with a large seven foot bird hobbling after them, the group could hear the ruckus of a mob growing closer. The rumble of footsteps and call of shouting men and women announced the soon to arrive chaos. The gang quickly found the still open panel, and began to file in. Jess lead the large burning bird inside, and was followed by the others, leaving Dipper and Mabel to close the door just as all the doors to their left broke down, and figures rushed into the hall.

In the dance hall with her mother and still recovering father, Pacifica watched as from both sides of the balcony, men and women approached. Their angered faces and marching steps overwhelmed the fifteen year old, who stepped closer and closer to her mother, still sitting on the floor with her husband. Only a few feet from then trio, the mob stopped, glaring down at the three. One figure, taller and wider in the shoulders than the rest stepped out and pointed to Pacifica.

"Where is the bird?" he demanded.

* * *

"You brought a what back to my shack?!" Stan demanded.

"A phoenix," Dipper repeated, "one that's weak and needs somewhere dry and warm to keep alive so that when it get's strong again, it'll leave with Jace and Jess."

Stan stood at the step of the gift shop entrance, staring at Dipper and Mabel as they stood just out of the rain. Behind them, Wendy stood in the rain by the van, holding her hand over the van back door, where the orange glow of the animal in question radiated out. Inside the building, steam was building it, as the air inside the van had been slowly increasing in temperature. Only a sliver crack was allowed for the windows, as any amount of cool air would hamper the Phoenix's growth.

Zander Maximillion sat on one of the arms of the outdoor couch, listening intently to the conversation. He had informed Stan to the coming of the twins and their passenger- the dangerous bird that had crashed into town. Arline stood next to him, her arms crossed as she too observed.

"This thing could do more than warm up inside- it could warm up the entire building; by burning it to the ground!" Grunkle Stan scolded them, waving an arm to the building. Behind him, Soos and Yuki peered from the screen door.

"But we can control it. Jace and Jess- well, right now just Jess," Dipper admitted, as Jace was still loopy and very out of his own head, "can speak to the phoenix. They'll make sure it won't burn anything-"

"Really? Anything?" Stan demanded, "you promise me nothing catches on fire?"

"We can almost promise?" Mabel offered.

"For crying out loud," Arline pushed over around Zander and next to Stan, "they need help! This is a dying member of an endangered species! You think you'd be a little more thrilled to help out."

"Fine, you go light it on fire some and tell me how that works out for ya," Stan bickered at Arline, "but as it stands, I live in a wooden building, which is almost my office of money-making. And that thing," he pointed to the van, "is going to be very efficient at destroying everything I have here."

"Oh no, that's right, you just aren't making money any more these days, are you?" Arline said to the side of his face, "what? Is a thousand dollars a night not enough to consider upgrading your little shed in the woods?"

Stan's nostrils flared and he flashed his teeth in a growl. "Shed!? SHED?! What are you callin' a shed?! It's mystery _manor_! MANOR!"

"More like mystery mayhem," she retorted, and Stan advanced on her.

"Ooookay," Zander's voice cut in as he stepped between them, from the couch to in the middle in a flash, "that's enough you two." His hands met the shoulders of the opposing figures. Dipper and Mabel watched as his green eyes peered into the fiery gaze of both opponents, and never withheld his position. Arline sighed and turned away, and Zander looked back to Stan. "What's your answer going to be, big guy?" he asked to Stanly. "Feel like turning your grand-kids away?"

"Oh don't you-" Stan pointed at Zander, who only raised his eyebrows. Stan growled and put a large hand over his face. "I wasn't going to turn anyone away," he assured Zander, who grinned. Arline audibly scoffed, drawing the man's attention. "I don't need any lip from you!"

"You could do with a little lip," Arline chuckled darkly. Zander pointed at her, using only his small gesture as a warning. Arline grunted and faced away again.

"Let's get it inside then," Zander told the twins.

"Okay!" Dipper spun around and ran back into the rain with Mabel.

"Get it inside a-s-a-p!" Mabel roared, "we have a bird to cook up! Heat up. Uh, not eat. That just doesn't sound good," Mabel realized, wiping hair away from her face as she ran over to Wendy, who had slapped the side of the van with her hand. The back doors popped open, and a wave of heat billowed out, shimmering in the cooler outdoor air.

"GAH!" Candy gasped as she stepped out, followed quickly by Jess, "it was a steamer inside. I am slightly melted."

"Make room!" Jess called as she waved her feathers towards the shack. Like a cannon blast the Phoenix leapt out from the van and darted into the air. The rain quickly struck it, and with a loud splat, the bird struck the mud and ground. Arline ran towards them as Jess tried forcing the bird to stand up. With a brush of her arms against one another, fire erupted around her hands, and Arline unleashed a fireball the size of a wagon into the air, where it exploded. The Phoenix was given enough time to stand back onto its feet and stomp through the soggy earth towards the shack. Grunkle Stan pushed the door aside, barely wide enough for the bird to squeeze in after Jess.

From inside, Grenda stepped out, helping down and out Jace. He stumbled, but without a flinch in his step, ran after his sister. The group had managed to bring the phoenix back. As the entire party stepped inside the gift shop, Jace stumbled over to his sister, and sat next to her. The Phoenix had crumbled to the floor, uttering a low and pained series of chirps. The bright orange and red glow of the animal had started to fade.

"It's not doing so well," Jess said, her face wet with more than rain. "The wood beneath it isn't even warming up."

"What can we do to help it?" Dipper asked.

"Give it fire," Jace announced, his words mixing together.

"Not inside!" Stan begged, "you'll burn everything to the ground!"

"Dying miracle species we're talking about here," Arline reminded him heatedly.

"Stanley has a point," Zander told Arline as he leaned against the counter, scratching his chin, "we can't just feet it heat. If it gets too hot, it'll burn the building to the ground, and then neither Stan nor the bird will have any protection from the elements." To this argument, Arline said nothing, but grimaced and rubbed her eyes.

"I... I don't know," Jess said.

"We need to hold it here until the rain passes," Jace announced, fighting his hardest to not slur his words. "When the rain is gone, the phoenix will be able to warm up outside."

"That can't be too long, right?" Arline asked. Those native to the area sighed, Zander chuckled, and Yuki shook his head.

"The pacific northwest of America is known for it's long spouts of heavy rain," Yuki informed her.

"For all we know," Zander added, "this poor thing could be here for a while."

"Well, that's not so bad," Mabel cheerily stated, "that means we get to learn about a phoenix, and Jace and Jess can stick around and watch after it! What's so bad with that?"

"And who's going to pay for their food costs? Living expenses?" Stan asked.

"Man you're greedy," Arline snorted.

"You know what? I could be worse!" Stan whipped around and yelled at her. As he turned and faced her, he looked past her towards the door, and blinked. "Like... for example... I could an angry mob of Gravity Falls residents."

"Oddly specific, but still a worthy comparison," Soos admitted.

Wendy looked to the ground, her eyes staring at the wooden boards. "Anyone else feel that?" she asked around. Dipper and Mabel both glanced to the ground as the rest of those gathered did. There was indeed something to the ground that begged their attention. It was shaking.

"You see Soos, I'm not just making it up. I'm definitely not as bad," Stan said as the group turned and faced the door, "as that."

Outside, coming up the inclining hill towards the Mystery Manor, was none other than the mod that the gang had so narrowly avoided. A collection of men, women, and in-betweens, the whole cluster was easily several hundred strong. As Pacifica had warned them, torches blazed into the night storm, resisting the efforts of the falling rain. Daniel 'Manly Dan' Corduroy himself led the march, an axe in his hand as he glared at the shack.

"Oh crud," Yuki gulped.

"I got this," Zander said, pushing himself off from the counter, adjusting his scarf.

"Are you kidding me!?" Mabel gasped, and ran up, pulling on Zander's jacket to turn and see her, "they're big, angry and scary! What are you going to do?"

"Yeah- not exactly a good idea going out there to hold them on your own," Stan said, "but what's the plan, rich boy?"

"I'm good with crowds," Zander grinned, patted Mabel's arm before gently pulling himself from her grip. He looked up to Jace and Jess. "Start considering hiding that somewhere." He then turned away and stepped outside. The twins, Wendy, and Soos all followed the man to the door and watched him step outside as the others all congregated together around the phoenix.

"Good evening!" Zander called to the group, heard even directly behind him by the four, "what are so many good people out doing on a damp day like this?" he asked.

"Can it, rock-star," Manly Dan told him, coming to a stop mere feet from him. The entire mob behind him halted and watched carefully Manly Dan. "There's a bird inside that building that belongs to me, my family, and the people of Gravity Falls. Unless you want to be _punched_ out of the way, then move out of my way."

"C'mon now," Zander was unmoved by the threat, and inside Wendy stepped away from the door, hands at her mouth, "Daniel, this isn't really your say."

"It landed in _my_ mill," Manly Dan told him, advancing, "and in _our_ town!"

"But really, just because something falls into your lawn doesn't make it yours," Zander pointed out. Manly Dan growled, gripping tightly onto the axe in his hand.

Dipper turned to look at Wendy, who had started to walk away. "Wendy," Dipper hissed, "do something! Get your dad to chill out!"

"I-I can't!" she said, her eyes wide and trembling.

"Why not?" Dipper demanded through gritted teeth.

"Uh- because- because- He doesn't know I'm working here!" Wendy told Dipper. His eyes narrowed and his mouth dropped out. Wendy sighed and stepped closer. "He wanted me to work at a lumber mill with his family in the north, but I wanted to stay. So, uh, I send him postcards to let him know how it's going, but he doesn't know I'm here! O-otherwise he'd send me away," she explained.

"Dude, can't you at least tell him to chill out or something?" Soos asked to her.

"My dad? Chill? Have you _met_ my dad?" she asked. As Dipper opened his mouth to berate her, annoyed with her lack of effort, the door behind them opened, and Zander pushed through, soaked and frustrated looking. "No luck?" Wendy hastily inquired.

"None. The Northwests sent these fine people here. Something along the lines of 'giving the Pines their regards'," Zander explained as he patted his head, pushing droplets of water away from his scalp.

"Great. So when do I grab my guns and shoot to kill?" Stan asked. The twins, Arline, and Wendy all burst out instantly, demanding he take no such action. "Okay! Fine! Jeesh, just trying to think proactively."

"Let's try avoiding bloodshed," Zander told him.

"All they want is the phoenix?" Wendy asked Zander, who nodded.

"What do we do then?" Jess asked her brother. In his struggle to remain upright and not collapse over, he sighed and shrugged. "Mabel? Dipper?" she asked again, looking to the twins with a deep plea in her eyes.

Dipper rubbed his hand over his jaw, feeling the scratch of his facial hair. What could they do? It was a lot of people outside, and a lot of angry people if they didn't hand over the weakened phoenix. To challenge the mob wouldn't be smart, Dipper reasoned. However, they couldn't hand over the phoenix. While the townsfolk plan was more than likely less devious than that of the Northwest family, they did seem to desperately want it. Dipper looked to his sister, and she shook her head.

They may have to surrender this one time.

As Dipper turned, ready to announce their suggestion to turn over the phoenix, Arline whipped around and marched past the twins. Adjusting her armbrace, she glanced behind her once. "I'll buy as much time as I can," she said.

"Master," Mabel called, running up to her, "you actually are going to-"

"Me? Against a ton of untrained country bumpkins?" Arline snorted. Grunkle Stan protested her comment with a loud 'hey!' but she ignored him. "Mabel, I'll be fine." Arline laid a hand onto Mabel's shoulder and grinned. "Stay here and protect your friends while your master protects you."

The group went silent as Arline marched outside, stretching her neck and arms. She stepped in between the unstable mob, her hands and fingers flexing and moving about quickly. As she took her place between the Mystery Manor and the mob, she planted her feet and struck her armbraces against one another. The mob gasped and bent backwards as Arline held fire in her hands, and glared ahead.

"Anyone who wants the phoenix has to go through one themselves," she said, "Arline the Rising Phoenix isn't going to let just anyone take away such an important animal."

"Shove over, kiddo," a voice said as Arline was pushed aside.

She stumbled, and turned to the new figure, but held her retort. Stan stood there, having removed his jacket and added a pair of brass knuckles to his image. Adjusting their fit, Stan looked over the Arline, who frowned and stared at the older man.

"Ha. Like heck am I going to let you defend my home for me," he told her as he rolled a shoulder slowly. He then turned to the group, "so listen up, you angered boneheads! These are my PUNCHING HANDS!" he roared, causing a few in the mob to flinch or otherwise shout back. "They're old, worn, but ready to rumble. So if you think you can come here and demand a deal from me on your terms and not mine- you've got another thing coming!"

"Good thing you decided to stick up for your own establishment," Arline snickered at him.

"Shut it. I don't back down when my family is concerned," Stan told her.

"Y-yes!" Yuki ran up next to Stan, securing his hat onto his head, "and I too shall defend my position at the Mystery Manor. Leave now!"

"Yuki, you're about as intimidating as a duck," Stan commented as he looked up and down Yuki's thin frame.

"I understand I do not fit your figure, but I will help my friends," he said, swallowing as he looked back out at the many darkening, drenched faces.

"YEAH!" Grenda appeared next to him, flexing her shoulders widely and boisterously. "Time to work those new wrestling moves! LETS GRAPPLE!" She roared.

"Well, I might as well help out," Zander added in as he stepped up next to Arline, scratching his hands absentmindedly. "Didn't think my first month in town would get me all this commotion. Oh well," he sighed, "might as well make this memorable."

"This is your last warning!" Manly Dan shouted to the group, his axe held forward, "give us the phoenix and stand aside!"

"How about... no," Arline decided and grinned at the enraged lumberjack. "Your move."

"GET 'EM!" a shrill voice called from the mob, and the waves of people lurched forward, charging out at the five vigilant defenders.

"Guys! Stan!" Dipper called, watching from the window.

Arline met combat first, actually leaping forward and kicking out. Her foot made a solid strike, and lifted an unprepared assailant into the air. Her speed and dexterity constantly had her move between shocked and startled member of the crowd, as she ran around, using her feet as weapons. There would be no use of the fire on her arms- that would be too extreme. Instead, she flew around, spinning and jutting out bursts of fire to ward off would-be attackers to her.

Stan was less docile to the oncoming horde. With a throaty bellow, he swung back and forth between both his hands, clobbering person after person. Some spun and teetered off their feet to the mud and dirt while others took the punch and came back with their own. Grunkle Stan was more than prepared for retaliation, and blocked each attack like a true student of boxing. Yet around him people began to push back.

Yuki was easily the least aggressive. He stood upright, grabbing people who tried pushing past him, and lifting them into the air with one arm. "If you could please," he asked one as he lifted him high above his head, "just settle down and return home, there would be no need for such violence-"

"BODYSLAM!" Grenda roared.

Next to Yuki, the tall, wide shouldered woman crushed an unsuspecting man into the mud, flattening him onto his back. More rushed to her, but Grenda was quick on her feet- able to stand and quickly gain a footing against those who tried pinning her down. "One moment," Yuki told the person he held upwards. With an easy grasp, Yuki reached over and lifted one of the attacking members on Grenda, and tossed him and the other over the heads of the crowd like ragdolls.

"Nice work!" Grenda told him as some tackled her.

"Do not hurt her!" Yuki gasped as he ran to protect her, prying body after body from her.

Zander also stood as a passive fighter: upright and his arms loose he slowly undid his scarf from his neck, and held it between his two hands from either end. Wrapping it around his knuckles again and again, it was taught enough to be a weapon just as people rushed at him. The first to charge Zander found him to their side, wrapping the scarf around their neck. Only keeping his hands past their shoulders, Zander then pulled back against their momentum, either pulling them flat to the ground with a crash or flipping them backwards into the air with similar effect.

Yet it was still five against many. Arline was easily the most efficient at crowd-controlling, darting between would be attackers with her kicks and knees. But people were finding their way closer and closer to the front entrance.

There, Dipper and Mabel turned and shouted to the group.

"Candy!" Mabel shouted, pointing to her friend.

"You two!" Dipper shouted, pointing to their harpy friends.

"Upstairs! Take the phoenix with you!" The twins roared.

"I'll protect them!" Wendy said, and she quickly turned and ran with the three and the massive, weak bird.

"Soos, get ready!" Mabel said as she found herself in stance.

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about this, but I'm behind you two a hundred percent, and then another one just because there's two of you," Soos said.

The front door was knocked off it's hinges as a crash of lightning illuminated the sky behind the mob members. Dipper side-stepped one of the advancers and swiped his foot underneath the legs of the first attack. As he fell and hit the floor, another came in, this time met with a jump kick by Mabel to the chest. That man fell back out the front door, knocking back with him another aggressor.

"We're closed, dawg!" Soos shouted, lifting up rack of merchandise, and shoving into the face of another charging mob member. "Nothing for sale!"

So stunned and confused was the most recent attacker that when Dipper and Mabel flanked him, he didn't have time to react or say a word. Instead, he gasped as he had his leg kicked out from under him and Mabel shoved him to the floor and stomped him in the gut once, just to be sure.

"Sorry!" Mabel apologized as she, Dipper, and Soos backed up, "I do kind of feel bad doing this to normal people!"

"Apologize later! They're still coming in!" Dipper announced.

More of the mob filed into the room, and the twins and Soos met them with their best fight. One after another the two knocked them aside, pushed them back, threw them against a wall, or in Soos's case, bashed them with the merchandise rack. Then a tall, enormous figure stepped inside, cracking his knuckles and without a hatchet.

"Out of the way, little boy and little girls," Manly Dan told them as he marched forward, stepping over the knocked out fellows of his mob.

"Dan!" Dipper held a hand out, "why are you doing this!?"

"Because I want the phoenix!" he shouted back.

"Why?!" Mabel also asked.

"Because-" Manly Dan swung a powerful but impressively sped hook, which Dipper and Mabel both ducked away from, "- I need it's ashes!"

"Selling the ashes is still killing the animal for money!" Dipper told him.

"Yeah dude! Not so cool!" Soos added as he swatted Manly Dan with the Merchandise rack. As the man held up his arm to deflect Soos's onslaught, the growled and looked to the twins.

"I'm not in this for the MONEY!" he bellowed, and grasped the merchandise rack from Soos. Without a single grunt or strain, the man closed the rack and all its contents into a single beach-ball sized sphere within a single moment.

"Dudes, just go!" Soos said, pushing them away, "I got him!"

"Soos, you totally don't have this!" Dipper told him as Manly Dan began to approach Soos.

"Just go on without me! I'll, uh, grab onto his leg and weigh him down!" Soos informed them.

"But Soos-" Mabel shouted.

"GO!"

On the last word of their friend and veteran employee of the Mystery Shack into Mystery Manor, the twins turned and fled through the doorway. Turning to the left, they climbed quickly up the stairs, and found their bedroom door. Inside was a cramped space, as a massive bird, it's two watchers, Candy and Wendy all watched them with anticipation.

"The rain isn't letting up," Candy announced as she peered at the window.

"We can tell," Jace grumbled as he rubbed his hair roughly.

"They're getting closer, aren't they?" Jess asked. Dipper looked to her and nodded slowly, not breaking eye contact. "Jace... what do we-"

"Look," Wendy suddenly piped up, turning around to face the group, "I know this isn't going to make me popular here, but maybe we should consider giving them the bird."

"WHAT!?" Dipper yelled.

"Wendy, are you serious?" Mabel gasped.

"Look, I know we've been in some pretty crazy tight spots before," she admitted, "but this is crazy tight! They're fighting people down there just for this bird! Just a lousy bird, guys!"

"The last of it's kind isn't lousy!" Jess shouted.

"And I heard what your dad wants to do with it," Dipper told Wendy, who snapped her eyes closed, "he's going to get it's ashes for something." Wendy remained rooted to the spot, her eyes sealed shut. "You know what that means, Wendy?" Dipper asked her forcefully, "he wants it dead! Nor locked up somewhere- he wants it to die to get it's ashes!"

"I know dude, I get it," Wendy nodded as she opened her eyes and looked anywhere but at him.

"Then why are you thinking this?" Dipper demanded.

"Because I'm thinking for us now," she quietly pleaded. "Guys, if we let this thing get out of hand, what makes you think they're just going to stop when they get the bird. If we hand it over now, maybe they'll leave!"

"Wendy-"

"Dipper!" She gasped and walked over, grabbing his shoulders, "dude, c'mon. This is me we're talking about here. I'm with you!" she reminded him with a shake of his shoulder, "and we can trust each other, right?"

"Wendy-" Dipper looked away, feeling his throat close tightly on his speech. He had wanted to deny her the luxury of agreeing with her. He wasn't sure if he trusted her or not. She was trying to send the phoenix away to her dad. She held secrets from them all. She... acted the same as she always had. Dipper finally locked eyes with her, and felt his resistance fall away. He wanted to curse himself for being unable to bite back.

"Why should he trust _you!?"_

The room went silent. All eyes fell on a panting young girl by a weak burning beast. Jess glared at Wendy with her sky blue eyes burning with the same fury and energy Dipper had seen in the very bird she was assigned to protect.

"Jess?" Mabel asked.

"Sis, c'mon," Jace pulled at her arm, but she yanked away, and marched closer to the two of them.

"I've heard about your secrets, Wendy!" Jess spouted aloud. Wendy's face shot red faster than light could have traveled, but she said nothing, instead moving away from Dipper and staring fearfully at the shorter being. "You've been hiding them from Dipper, and from Mabel!"

"I-I've not," Wendy mumbled as she swallowed loudly, looking around the room as she felt her hair between her hands.

"You're lying!" Jess shouted, tears in her eyes, "Dipper knows!"

Dipper felt his heart stall. Jess had said... what?

"Dipper told me about your stupid little secrets! And you know what makes me more mad than anything else!?" she shouted, "is that you get to keep them away from you, and he just let's it happen!" she shouted at Wendy, who's wide green eyes trembled as they focused on Jess. "You just walk all over him with these stupid, stupid lies, and he... he... he likes you too much to want to force you to tell him the truth!"

"Jess, stop it!" Jace shouted.

Jess swallowed, but her scowl did not fade. "He's your friend! He likes you like... like... I... and you just-"

"JESS!"

The younger sister heaved and sealed her mouth. Her brother was panting behind her, his eyes now too ablaze with the ferocity to match her own. Upon their full connection, Jess closed her eyes and began to cry. Holding her hands to her face, she stood there, letting tears hit the floor.

"Dipper..." Wendy's trembling voice called out, and he barely had the strength to look at her feet.

"It's not fair," she muttered, "he likes you even though you treat him like that. I couldn't even become friends with him until I told him about being a harpy. But you? Why do you get special treatment!?"

BOOM.

The door behind Dipper rattled and Jess screamed. The Phoenix squawked and clawed it's way away from the door. Someone outside was beginning to push against it, forcing the wood to cave inwards.

"It's him!" Mabel said.

Dipper wasn't responding to the stimuli of the world around him.

So... the secret was out. Wendy now knew that he had been keeping tabs on her. Dipper couldn't even to begin trying to understand how he should feel. Instead he slowly lifted his eyes to hers, and they met. Her green to his brown, and finally he saw a flicker of truth.

She looked tired. So incredibly tired.

"Wendy-" he began to say.

The Redhead whipped towards the door and shoved back against with a roar. The door snapped straight again and on the other side, a surprised gasp echoed in. The Phoenix squawked again, and turned it's gaze to the window.

"Who the heck did that!?" Manly Dan called. "Who the heck is strong enough in there to do that!?"

"Great, he's here," Mabel grumbled, looking around. "Maybe we can put some furniture by the door."

"Won't stop him," Wendy stated quietly. BOOM. Wendy flinched but held her ground as the door was slammed again. She held her ground and footing.

"We could try reasoning with him?" Candy tried, coming to Mabel, "maybe if we say we'll give it to him when the storm ends he'll leave?"

"No way," Wendy shook her head. BOOM. "Gah!" Wendy groaned, feeling the bulging door against her back. "Guys, just give it to him! Please!" Wendy shouted to them.

"H-hey, who's in there!?" Manly Dan demanded.

Mabel walked to Dipper, holding his shoulder. "Dipper... the storm... it's just not ending today."

"I know! But... but there has to be another-"

"Dipper," Mabel said gently, her voice understanding and yet so very heavy with pain. Staring into Dipper's eyes, Mabel silently admitted to her doubt about their chances. Dipper sighed and nodded. It wasn't good odds to begin with, and with the way things were turning out, it was only getting worse.

"Okay... maybe we should-"

The Phoenix let out it's loudest cry, and attempted to flap it's wings. Jess and Jace were nearly lifted back and away by the force of the wind billowing around. The bird's beak pecked at the glass, where in it's eyes it saw the many torches in the rain. Fire teased the bird, and it pecked again at the glass.

"What is it doing!?" Jess shouted.

"It's trying to escape," Jace gasped. Jess ran forward towards the Phoenix and was caught and held back by her brother. "Don't! It could hurt you!"

"It's just confused and scared!" she shouted, "we need to stop it! It'll hurt itself!"

"Jess, stop!" Jace told her. She stomped down on his foot, delivering more than an adequate blow to his toes. Only the moment she stepped forward, reading to calm the Phoenix, it unleashed it's unearthly cry. Everyone in the room and outdoors held their hands to their ears.

The glass before the phoenix shattered, and the bird hopped through and at the crowd.

"NO!" Jess shrieked, rushing towards the broken window. Dipper rushed forward, holding her back from grasping the shards of glass on the windowsill.

"What- what's happening in there!?" Manly Dan's voice barely was audible under the chaos from the outdoors now rushing inside.

"It's gone," Wendy said quietly, and sank to the floor.

Outside, the five defenders and the mob gasped and parted as the massive phoenix crashed into the mud. Torrents of fire, steam, and ash billowed around the air in waves large enough to completely consume anyone who might have been slow enough to stand by it. Soon the mob was dispersing, running into the trees and behind cars to avoid the unraveling of a phoenix. The last phoenix.

"Let me go, Dipper!" Jess shouted, unable to fight Dipper's stronger grip.

"It's too late," he told her, tightly holding her shoulders as she winced and began to whine. "It's gone."

"No! NO! It needs to... to come home with Jace and me. Dipper, _let_ _me_ _GO_!" she tried again, but found the same amount of resistance. "No! Please! I... I wanted... noo!"

The weeping Harpy was entirely drowned out by the death rattles of the Phoenix. Growing smaller and smaller as it spiraled in it's panic, the phoenix's steam and fire soon became the center of the location of the former mob brawl. The rain falling from the sky slowly parted the steam as the last of the ash plumes ended.

Manly Dan pushed his way out from the crowd, having run all the way down the stairs and into the mud. He gasped and shoved his way through, demanding he be unstopped. Finally he stood in the center of the crowd, staring down at a pile of wet ashes.

"No... no," he grunted.

Manly Dan's knees gave away as he stared at the soaking wet ashes piled messily before him.

The crowds had begun to disperse and march back to town. Upon threat of the cops showing, and arresting those that Stan claimed assaulted him and caused property damage, the entirety of the mob had departed in mere minutes once the phoenix had fallen. All but Manly Dan had left, and he still sat in the rain, staring into the pile with empty, lost eyes.

Eventually a small figure walked past him, scowling at him with a poison in her eyes.

"A phoenix rises from the ashes, right?" Manly Dan asked to Jess, who stared at the pile and scoffed, her nose stuffed.

"If the ashes are warm," she told him. Without a moment of forgiveness to present him, she reached over and plucked a handful of ashes and tossed it into the air. "Freezing cold. Not even good dirt. All because of you," she said.

As the five from the fight sat on the outdoor couch, Dipper and Mabel stepped out into the rain again. They watched Manly Dan rise up so slowly with his head hung, and look once to Jess.

"I... I'm not sorry for trying," he said and swallowed a knot in his throat. Jess watched him go, her wet feathers and hair dripping to the ground.

"The last phoenix," Mabel muttered quietly, "now... gone."

"Well, at least we're still here," Grunkle Stan sighed, and leaned back into the couch. "That's something, isn't it?"

"I can't say I share your enthusiasm, Stanley," Zander admitted with a heavy sigh. "That was an animal, the last of it's kind, wasted on a mob fight."

The inhabitants of the couch sat, staring at the floor of the ceiling as Dipper and Mabel stepped out. Mabel increased her stride and makes it to Jess's side. The young harpy turned to Mabel, and then grabbed her around the waist, bawling into her stomach. As Dipper watched, feeling his mouth twitch with weight, a pair of footsteps told him of Jace's arrival.

"So much for going home with a mission success," he sniffled as he wiped past his nose with his arm.

"Can't always win," Dipper told him.

"Guess not," Jace admitted. He looked to Dipper, who managed to glance back. "I'm sorry for what Jess did. She's... uh... might be a bad time to tell you-"

"Really into me," Dipper sighed.

"Oh. Yeah. So... Wendy kind of got on her nerves. That didn't mean she should have done that-"

"It's okay dude," Dipper told him with a pat on the back, "I get her."

"... well, you may get her, but are you going to be okay?" Jace asked.

Dipper turned away from him and looked to the shattered window of his room. There, he could see the observing gaze of Wendy, green eyes and red hair now so distant that it felt like they were a whole planet away, rather than fifty feet. Dipper shook his head and looked back to Jace. He could only shrug.

"Well," Grunkle Stan sighed as he looked at the damage to the building that had been done, "most of the structure is fine. But all these windows and doors are going to be needing replacing."

"Again, you got my money. Use it," Arline told him, following him out into the now dying rain.

"I'd rather save it for a-"

"Rainy day?" Zander popped in, his arms tying his scarf back around his neck. "I think you missed that chance." Grunkle Stan overlooked the entirety of his building, prompting Zander to follow suit. "I like this place."

"You do!?" both Arline and Grunkle Stan gasped.

"Yeah. Exciting, isn't it?" Zander said with a wide smile, "and... well, dramatic," he turned back and eyed Mabel, who was leading the harpy siblings to one another. "Stan," Zander turned back to the Mister Mystery himself, "I want to make a simple proposal."

"I'm all about the simple," Grunkle Stan shrugged and nodded.

"I'll fund you to refurnish this entire building," Zander said, waving his hand to the shack, "on two conditions- you leave it's purpose unchanged, and that you stop charging Arline here stupid amounts of money."

"Oh, come on," Stan chuckled, "it wasn't that-" Arline cleared her throat and glared at him. "Okay, yeah, it's a lot. So, how much are we talking here?"

"I don't know. I was considering buying a new sports car, but that can wait. I'll give you one million dollars for refurbishing," Zander said as he looked around. Stan clutched a hand to his chest and gasped rapidly. Zander just turned around in time to see Stan shake his head up and down like a runaway bouncing ball.

"Seriously? A million?" Arline asked, "isn't that better suited for, like, donations?" she suggested.

"You never know," Zander pointed to her, "sometimes the best investments are the ones you don't know are investments at all," he told her. "Well, Stanley," Zander said with a small bow, "I'm off. I expect a full plan for refurbishing by the end of the month. Until then... good luck with the uh, cleaning."

Zander was already walking away when Stan came through again, and glanced around. Indeed, glass and wooden plants were scattered around the ground from the building.

"Ugh. Kids! Yuki! Soos! Wendy!" he shouted, "get to cleaning while I make sure I didn't dislocate my back!"

Dipper and Mabel had turned, acknowledging their Grunkle as he demanded their attention. Before them, as the night sky finally bled through the clouds, was red eyed Jess and grim Jace.

"You know," Mabel said, biting her lip, "when I said we needed to give you guys a tour of town, this wasn't what I had in mind."

"Neither here," Jace chuckled. "Then again, a lot of things happened that shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry that..." Dipper started, but at a sniffle from Jess, he found his speech blocked. He couldn't remind her of their failure.

"Don't worry about it," Jace shrugged, "one day, maybe we'll find some source of magic and Phoenix can be brought back into the world again. Until then... they're now just a legend and a story," Jace said as he patted his sister's back. "We need to get going."

"Back to Canada, huh?" Mabel asked.

"For now. Now that our family won't be watching Phoenix, we can live where ever we really want to. Maybe we'll move... who knows," Jace shook his head. "Can we make it so next time we see one another, we're not running for our lives trying to save something we consider more important than our lives?"

"That's a heck of a promise," Mabel eyed Jace with a critical eye, but grinned, "how about we just start with saying we need to see each other again?"

"Fine by me," Jace said, and embraced Mabel in a hug. He turned to Dipper, and gave him the same, "one day we'll just be able to hang out like... like normal people."

"That'd be nice," Dipper replied. Jace nodded once to each of them, and turned. "Jess, we gotta go." She nodded, and turned away. "You're not going to say goodbye?" Jace asked. Jess's head twitched but slowly she shook it. "Why not?"

"Aww, Jess," Mabel asked, coming up to her as tears welled in her eyes. Jess let the hug wrap around her, but eventually she gave in. She turned as well and embraced Mabel. After letting go of the brunette, she turned and raced to Dipper. He grinned and extended his arms out and grabbed her in a hug as well.

"I-I'm s-s-so sorry," Jess mumbled over her tears.

"Hey, it's okay," Dipper told her, "if anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing. We... didn't succeed this time."

"But I... I made you and Wendy-"

"It's okay," Dipper cut her off, his voice firm, but not angered. Jess swallowed her words and nodded. Once more she hugged him. Finally she let go and turned away. Dipper watched her go, and before long, he and Mabel were watching the siblings fly into the starry skies.

"Not a good day," Dipper said to his sister.

"Yeah. Started better, didn't it?" Mabel told him.

"A lot better."

"At least we have the memory of nice stuff, right?" she suggested, patting his shoulder. "So, I'm going to go grab all the camping gear, since our window is all busted up. We can camp in our rooms and pretend that we're camping like we used to!" she suggested and walked ahead of Dipper.

He chuckled and moved towards the doors. Inside, the clamor of cleaning and discussion reached his ears. Yet a soft sound behind him made him pause. He turned half way, and saw her moving. Wendy had crawled down from his window, and made her way to the pile of ashes.

Dipper watched her while hiding behind on the supports on the porch. In the starlight, without a moon, Wendy was in mostly darkness and yet her green eyes shone as she leaned to the ashes. Her knees touched the muddy ground, and Dipper watched as she, Wendy Corduroy, the unshakeable woman broke there. Tears flowed down her eyes and she cried into her hands, rattling the air with her shaky sobs.

Dipper couldn't move as she slowly wiped away her tears and looked his way. He couldn't tear his eyes from hers as she stood up, watching him the entire time. Dipper couldn't move a muscle when she turned away, and he couldn't make a sound as she disappeared down the road.

As he found himself on the outdoor couch, letting the weight of gravity pull him down, he came to a stark realization. He and Wendy had crossed a threshold.

Nothing between them would be the same ever again.

* * *

Not all endings are sweet, and not all fires are warm.

So, I normally have a lot to say, but I'm dead tired. Stupid week- ruining my schedule so that I have to write this from 12am to 5:50am in one night. BLAH. Well, please be mildly forgiving for the stupid errors I've made. I promise to go back and fix 'em up if you point them to me! :D

And there you have. Ashes in the Sky is now done. Hope you... well, I suppose enjoyed would be a little mean to say.

Next up: A Summerween Carol. If you have no idea what I'm referencing in the title... I've got news for you. You have a movie to go watch between now and next Sunday. GET TO IT.

(EZB passes out on the desk, snoring loudly. He has fallen asleep on the 'Sharks with lasers attached to their forehead' button, so he and his desk are instantly thrown into the shark tank. Where he is sliced to bits and eaten accordingly.)

* * *

**(Vigenere)**

**"Ttdxl wc ivigu, tlha cj yqct zkirb pxnv,**

**ialitzgpl aqpywrt qkiv hlr zfro rees pzf.**

**Gxnzp ql pvvoei, uwkub atccyea xas**

** tmem yjybw qqj lowpr bbpyg gnvkda teyt."**


	39. A Summerween Carol: Part 1

"Thank you! Thank you and remember- if it's mysterious, chances are we sell it!" Stan Pines announced to the gift shop as he ended his last tour of the day. The late afternoon sun poured in through the windows, and the many satisfied guests were filing their way out of the shop. "Tomorrow all tours and the gift shop are closed. Summerween is an important holiday! Thank you!" Stan called as he slowly closed the door behind him, flipping through the various bills he had collected through the days benefits. "Hehehe, suckers."

"Looks like another successful day mister Pines," Soos noted as Stan passed him.

"Absolutely!" he told his first and longest employee to date, rolling the dollar bills before him. "That's got to be at least five hundred dollars! Ahh, talk about sweet, sweet relief of cash against your fingers," he sighed, rubbing the money through his hands.

"Awesome. I'm heading out, but I'll drop by tomorrow to check up on everybody," Soos told him. "Got to pick someone up, after all. Seeya!"

"Yeah, yeah, bye Soos," Stan grumbled as his handyman left the building.

"Yo, stan," Wendy piped up, lifting her legs from the cash register, "you, uh, going to put all that way."

"Oh, c'mon," Stan scolded her," let an old man enjoy his passion in life."

"Yeah that's... kind of sad," Wendy muttered as she watched Stan rub the money against his face.

"Grunkle Stan!"

Mabel came running into the room, followed by Dipper. Stan dropped the cash with a sigh from his face and handed it to Wendy.

"Here. Lock it up," he grunted to her. As he turned to face his grand-kids, Wendy and Dipper shared a single look between one another and looked away. Dipper fixed himself on his shoelaces and Wendy stared at the cash register she worked. "So, what do you kids want?"

"We're here for our official notice of leave for tomorrow," Mabel declared as she held up to Stan a single piece of paper. He took it and eyed it from behind his glasses. A drawn picture of Dipper and Mabel underneath a discoball with witches and skeletons dancing around them entertained Stan, but he crooked an eyebrow all the same.

"Wait, so, you're going to a party tomorrow?" he asked them.

"Yeah!" Mabel nodded and jumped into the air, snatching her picture back.

"This will be the first time in a while we've had a chance to really duke it out as a duo," Dipper added, nudging his sister to stop her spinning in circles. "Last time we did this, we kind of had the looming 'mom and dad' thing."

"Heh. Figures. Well, might as well go have fun then," he told them with a grunt, "can't stop teens, I'm not that dumb to try."

"Yes!" Mabel rocked her fist around her head. "Going rock out until morning! And go crazy on candy!"

"Hey, uh, Stan," Wendy piped up, passing by him as she walked around the corner, "just a reminder about my day off-"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. Might as well start making it a habit with you," Stan told her as she nodded and placed her helmet on. "See you on Tuesday." Wendy said nothing as she curtly stepped out of the gift shop. Stan turned around and found his grand-nephew staring away from his one-time crush. "What? Did you two have a fight or something?"

"H-huh?" Dipper asked as Stan placed his arms on his hips.

"I know a hurt look when I see one, and both of you got it. What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Dipper shrugged.

"Heh. Good," Stan rolled his eyes and began to organize several objects on the shelf. The door opened again, and Stan lifted his gaze, only to groan. "We're closed," he told the golden haired woman stepping in.

"Fine by me," Arline told him as she walked inside briskly, "I'm not here to shop."

"Then whatever you want can wait until-"

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel scolded him. Stan flinched, crumpling his brow as he deeply frowned. Rather than retort, he turned away and began to restock the shelves. He had to get them ready for tomorrow. If the shop was ready for the weekend and next Monday, he could spend all tomorrow setting up the decorations. As he did, another voice called from the hallway.

"Friends," Yuki waved, walking in, "Mister Pines," he nodded to Stan, who grunted as he continued to file merchandise on the shelves, "I have completed the secondary electric upgrade to your heating system.

"Sweet! That's going to save a whole ton of cash! HA!" Stan chuckled as he nodded to Yuki. The alien frowned and walked over to the twins.

"Dipper, Mabel. What is it you have in your hand, Miss Hirsh?" he asked.

"I'm about to tell you. I found- so I was in town, right?" Arline told the twins, catching Grunkle Stan's attention. His pace slowed as he paid attention to her words. "And check this out!" she unfolded a poster from under her arm. "Summerween?!" she gasped. "Like, they use a melon instead of a pumpkin, and it's all official looking and everything!"

"It's a holiday only Gravity Falls celebrates," Dipper said. Grunkle Stan could hear the excitement even from across the room. "It's just a second Halloween, and the town goes full out with it."

"A holiday?" Yuki gasped.

"Yeah! Costumes! Candy! Decorations! Scares! Dance parties!" Mabel cheered, "it's totally awesome!"

"So this isn't some elaborate prank!?" Arline begged from the twins. The shook their head, and she cheered. "YES! That's too dang cool! Ugh, I wish I had brought up my decorations!"

"Wait, you like Halloween too?" Dipper asked. Arline barked a single laugh.

"Like? Dipper, I nearly worship the holiday," she told him. "I'm something of a Halloween aficionado," she admitted with a grin. Stan scoffed as he placed more items on the shelf.

"Halloween expert. Please," he said, looking to the four, "if there's someone around here with a passion for terrifying people without consequence, it's me."

"To be fair," Arline started, a clever look in her eye, "I'm certain you're capable of scaring people without the use of anything more than underwear and a day without shaving."

"Eugh!" Mabel and Dipper groaned. Arline laughed as Stan scowled and turned away.

"This 'Halloween'," Yuki asked, "I have studied it, and the use this town makes of it during the untraditional time of the end of June. It brings much merriment and community awareness through sweet food and dressing as fictitious characters."

"That's... uh... a very studious way of putting it, but yeah," Dipper nodded.

"But why scare people?" Yuki asked, shaking his head.

"Because it's fun," Mabel asked with a sigh.

"I do not understand how fright is anything near fun," Yuki told them. "Fear is a pathological response to the concept of bodily, spiritual, or in some cases," Yuki glanced at Stan, "economic harm."

"What? I have nightmares of burning cash sometimes," Stan admitted. Yuki rolled his eyes and turned back to the twins.

"Well, when you get scared Yuki," Arline asked, "don't you get a rush of energy, and then right after it, you feel more alive than ever before?"

"Only... recently," Yuki said. "My adaption to earth's atmosphere caused a mild growth of adrenaline glands within my body. Not nearly as much as the human anatomy calls for... but I suppose I sort of understand."

"Yuki," Mabel put a hand on his shoulder," maybe you shouldn't study it from a distance."

"Huh?" he asked.

"Wait, yeah," Dipper nodded, a smile growing, "Yuki, you should come with us to the party!"

"But- but I know not how to do such activities," Yuki worriedly admitted, holding his hands together as he squeezed them tightly. "Trick or treating is a custom I have only seen in file footage, apple-bobbing seems innately dangerous with two sources of suffocation, and candy highs are a threat to-"

"Yuki," Dipper chuckled, "it's okay."

"Yeah," Stan said as he marched over, putting the last of his in-arm merchandise on shelves, "it'll be okay because you're going to stay in the Manor tomorrow."

"What?!" The twins and Arline said.

"I-I am?" Yuki quietly repeated.

"Look, you need to start memorizing the layout of this building," Stan told him easily, "no more getting lost in the display areas. Once you get all the tour paths down, you're going to start leading those tours- like Soos," Stan told him. "That way you can get some real people experience- especially how to scam humans."

"I, uh, was rather excited at the potential for holiday interaction," Yuki told Stan, his dark cheeks flushing pink, "this would have been my first holiday."

"Yuki, look. There's practically a holiday every day," Stan told him.

"Yeah! Today's 'International Yoga Day'!" Mabel told Yuki.

"It's what?" Yuki asked her.

"The point being," Stan told him, "you'll get another chance later. In October. When its colder and you'll have less to do for me."

"C'mon Grunkle Stan," Dipper asked his elder, "cut him a break. He's been really considerate to you all summer. Upgrading stuff and even fighting off a crowd? He could have a break."

"Sorry kiddo, he's getting work because he asked for work," Stan told them, crossing his arms tightly.

"To my understanding," Arline glared at Stan, "the only reason he asked for work was because he was left behind by his people!"

"Hah! Had you been here to see it," Stan retorted, "you'd know he left his people behind so he wouldn't be locked up in jail for breaking their crimes! So he's lucky I didn't hand him over to whatever authorities at all!" Stan said proudly. Arline's face darkened as she shook her head. "Now beat it. I don't need any more money from you since Maximillion decided to pay for the repairs to my building." Arline scowled and turned away, hands rigid at her side. Stan turned back to the three, and found not two, but three angered faces looking at him. "What? Anyone got anything else they want to say to me?"

"No. I'll... go on and find something _else_ to do," Yuki grumbled, and shuffled away, hands at his side as he stared at the floor.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel whipped around, and Stan pulled back from his grand-nieces wrath. "What is your problem!?"

"What?!" he begged, "he's a worker here! And unlike Soos or Wendy, he gets paid in time to stay here!"

"Yuki should be allowed to go with us!" Dipper pointed out. "He's upgraded everything you asked for! The car, the furnace, and even that stupid kitchen sink!"

"Which reminds me," Stan mentioned to himself, " he's got my bathroom sink to do."

"Seriously?" Dipper asked him, incredulous towards Stans attitude.

"Look, holidays come and then they come again. It's why we have calendars," Stan told them, "so you remember when that holiday you don't care about comes back. Or taxes. Or anniversaries. Eesh. Calendars suck."

"Stan, you have lost some serious twin points this day," Mabel declared as Dipper scoff at the old man.

"Huh. I'll try remembering that like it actually means something," Stan grumbled. He raised his hand and pointed past them. "Now go bother someone else! I'm off to do more important things."

"It's nine p.m.," Dipper pointed out.

"Yeah, it's called 'sleep'. Now scram," he said and pushed past the twins.

Stan heard them grumble from behind him, but it wasn't much of a matter. They'd understand one day the liberties he had taken for their sake, and Yuki's. Taking in a stranger, who had caused the problems of the town single-handedly, and he would offer a room to this guy? Stan still wondered if socking him in the eye was a viable option. Probably not, but you never knew.

Pushing into his room past his door, Stan yawned and scratched his rear. "Another good day," he muttered to himself. Removing his hat, jacket, cuffs, golden chains, and watch, Stan began to disrobe while humming to himself.

It wasn't very long before her was lying in his bed, stretching out and content with his life at the moment. The second best holiday in the world was tomorrow, and he had all the time in the world to enjoy it on his own. A good day indeed.

As he lifted up his recent magazine of 'New Dentures for Old Muscle' and started flipping through the pages, he heard an odd noise outside.

Stan lowered the magazine and looked at the door. The hallway light was out, and he didn't see any shapes moving around. It had sounded like a whisper, or a moan of some sort. He grunted to himself and looked back down to his magazine. The most recent models for 'man-molers' looked promising to him.

Then it happened again. A low moan, something distant and fearful in nature. Stan slowly placed down his magazine and looked at the door. The moaning now was constant. He could hear the coming of creaking wood, but wasn't sure there were any distinguishable footsteps to make out.

"Staaanleeeyyy..."

Stan gulped and sat up in his bed. He said nothing as he felt the world's heat slowly rush away. This was oddly familiar, but he dared not say a thing, in case this was more than just a dream.

"Staaaaannleeeeyyyy..."

With an accumulation of his bravery, he asked aloud, "hello?"

The door burst open, and a figure in rags soared into the room. Gliding in with speed, the being moaned it's loudest and Stan wasted no time. He turned, reached under his pillow, and pulled out his revolved.

"Eat lead, ghostly home invader!" Stan shouted as he fired at the ghost, which shrieked and dived to the floor.

"What the heck, Stan!?" the ghost demanded from behind a board of the bed.

Stan paused, recognizing the voice. "Arline," he grumbled, but kept his gun out, "stand up slowly and maybe I won't shoot twice. Maybe." Following instruction, the creature of black rags and cloth slowly stood up, removing it's hood to reveal the master martial artist.

"What's going on!?"

The twins rushed into the room, ready for combat. "Spin, dreadful apparition!" Mabel demanded when she spotted Arline's back. The master glanced back at her, and Mabel silenced herself. "Oh. Sorry," she apologized.

"What's going on here is this woman tried attacking me!" Grunkle Stan proclaimed as he lowered the business end of the gun down.

"I didn't attack anyone," Arline groaned.

"Hah! You're in my room, and have a crazy costume on!" Stan pointed out.

"If you weren't in here to attack Stan," Dipper asked Arline, stalling the argument about to blossom between Arline and Stan, "what _were_ you doing in here?"

Arline turned as she crossed her arms, having the torn and knotted fabric tie around itself even more. She grunted and finally admitted, "I was going to scare Stan into changing his ways."

"HAH!" Stan bellowed, and he began to laugh, tossing his gun to the end of the bed, and falling back into his pillow as he roared with laughter.

"Why?" Dipper asked, trying to speak above Stan's barking chuckles noise.

"Because he's been nothing but a jerk since I got here!" she shouted.

"Uh... yeah," Dipper admitted as he looked to his uncle, "you have been kind of mean to her since she got here."

"Hah, right," Stan calmed down, "and I've also been neglecting puppies, and kittens- Mabel, I haven't actually!" Stan suddenly realized the face on his grand niece, and halted his sarcasm.

"That scared me," Mabel admitted, wiping her brow.

"Heh. Master of fright here," Stan grinned. Arline growled and stepped closer.

"You say you like scaring people, huh? Well how about being scared! Stan Pines," Arline pointed dramatically at him, "you've been a miser, a crude man, and a rude jerk all summer to not only myself, but to others in your need. Yuki wants to understand the ways of mankind, and all you can think of is how to use him! So, I put... uh... a curse on you!"

"Ohhh, scary," Stan chuckled, waving his arms around in mock fear.

"So... well, I hope you do get haunted!" Arline said, her eyes wide with fury as she glared at the old man. "By three ghosts! And I hope they somehow remind you what its like when you act like this around others!"

"That's awfully specific," Stan responded.

"There's nothing awful about it," Arline protested, "when it's all for you. You just don't care about anything but money."

"Hey," Stan pointed a warning finger at her, "I don't just care about money. I care about a whole TON of money!" he sneered, but then rolled his eyes when three angered gazes met him. "Okay, and family. Blood is important too."

"Well in case you didn't know," Arline leaned closer, holding the ends of the bed as she did, "family isn't just about blood. It's about trust, and making sacrifices for others, and-"

"Ugh! So much bleeding heart! I can't take it!" Stan clapped his hands to his ears and shook his head.

"You know what? I hope you do get haunted tonight," Arline declared angrily, her jaw tightened.

"Huh. I'll keep an eye peeled tonight," Stan yawned as he stretched his arms over his head. "Now get out of my room. I'm getting bored by the company of a bad costume and empty threats." Arline scowled and whipped around, storming out. "You two as well. Get going. And old man needs his sleep!"

"You could be nicer to her," Mabel mumbled as she and Dipper closed the door behind them.

"Nicer. Cute," Stan rolled his eyes, "Like being nice to anyone got anything done. It's all about commanding respect and authority," he noted to himself as he lay back in his bed, sprawled out.

Arline Hirsh. That woman had another thing coming if she thought she could burst into his room like that and demand anything like that him from. A curse? Hah. A change in character? She's gone too far. He wouldn't stand for anyone trying to change him, especially after all the things he's had to do for the town and others; the sacrifices he's had to make. What did she know about family? She didn't lose a brother to the portal not once but...

"Ugh," he shook his eyes and finally removed his glasses, "not now. Just get to bed," he told himself as he closed his eyes.

With a sigh, he readied himself for sleep once more, satisfied with the allowance that the morning would bring- Summerween. And thus, he felt the peace and satisfaction wallow over his old, worn body.

Grunkle Stan heard a tap on the floor nearby and he shifted. _Darn old wood_, he thought to himself. Yet he heard it again, more pronounced than before. A rattle. "Ugh," he groaned aloud, and turned a pillow to his head. _Stupid noises need to just go ahead and_\- the third time the rattle was a bounce, akin to that of a small ball, and Stan bolted out of bed and glared. "Mabel!" he shouted as he looked at small little Mabel in a her jelly costume.

"Yes, Grunkle Stan?" she asked with a huge smile.

"I told you go to bed," he told her, and shifted back to sleep, "now go."

"Can't go until I've completed haunting you," she said as he looked away.

Stan's mind flashed with a buzzing whiteness. _Wait... a... second..._ he slowly pushed himself up with his arms and turned slowly. That hadn't been fifteen year old Mabel. That costume... her size... her voice... it was an old Mabel. A Mabel only now in a memory Stan held close to himself. He whipped around, and found Mabel and her bouncing ball had vanished.

"What the heck is going on?" he grumbled as he panned around the room. No sight of Mabel, or even a sound. On edge, but shaking off the realization he may be going crazy, he leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

Right where Mabel was floating above him, grinning her widest.

Stan screamed and rolled off the bed with a thud. Groaning and rubbing his shoulder, he scrambled for the door exiting his room, and pulled. It wouldn't open. The door knob wouldn't turn! It was as solid as rock! Stan whipped around and watched as Mabel's form descended to the ground, emanating a faint glow which matched that of ghosts he had seen in the past.

"Hi, Grunkle Stan," Mabel said happily. "Are you excited for tomorrow?"

"Y-you're not Mabel," he pointed to her.

"You're right!" she winked and bounced the ball.

"Who, or what, are you?" he demanded as he straightened himself up, aware of the entity he stared at mimicking his grand-niece.

"I'm a spirit," it announced with a bow, "a spirit of awesome, totally coolness that's here to show you," the Mabel look-alike stepped back and bowed, "the light of the past."

"Uh... wait, you're a ghost?" Stan asked, "that just looks like Mabel?"

"Not particularly," The ghost raised herself up, floating right up to Stan, who pressed himself against the door. "I look like a person from your past whomever I speak to holds dear. You care for me, Mabel," she said, with a spin as she lowered herself to the ground, "so boom! Here I am!"

"Then what actually are you?!" Stan demanded.

"I'm the ghost of Summerween past," it said.

"Summerween... past?" he repeated.

"Yes! Specifically, your past," she said, "after all, I have you and Stanford to thank for that," she said with a wide, warm grin. Stan gulped and began to side-step her.

"Look, I'm touched you took Arline seriously to do this prank, "Stan told her, "but this is enough. I want to sleep. Old men need rest."

"Pfft. Rest is for the weak! Or uninspired," Mabel told him as she blew a raspberry.

"I'm not going anywhere this tired," he told her with his arms crossed. Mabel frowned and crossed her arms as she looked to the ceiling. Then she snapped her fingers.

"I know! We'll just wake you up!" And Mabel flew forward, grasped Stan by the collar and punched her other first upwards. "Mabel away!"

Stan roared his loudest and shrillest he had in a very long time. The ceiling above him splintered and exploded as he and Mabel tore through the wood like it was tissue and leafs. Below him was the world, spinning and distant in blue, brown and green. Above him now as he rocketed into the sky was dark blue and specks of white. He was flying now, suspended only in the air by the will of the impostor spirit Mabel.

"See? Good rush of excitement!" Mabel laughed as she held Stan by the tips of her fingers.

"Put me down!" he demanded.

"Nope! Not until we get somewhere," she told him with a cackle.

"You're kidnapping your own grand-uncle! Stop it, or your grounded!" Stan warned her. She merely laughed.

"I'm not actually Mabel, Grunkle Stan," Mabel told him, her bright white smiled covered with braces. "I just look, talk, and think like her! So buckle up! We're in for a ride!"

"No! NO! STOP!" Stan roared as the spirit took a nose dive towards the earth. The trees of Gravity Falls grew closer and closer, soon he rushed past their canopies, passed their branches, and Stan tossed up his arms. The ground was inches from him and-

He felt gravity properly underneath him. Stan lowered his hands and opened his eyes with a few careful blinks. Mabel, or the Ghost of Summerween Past, was laughing and pointing at him.

"Ha-ha-ha, yeah, make fun of the mortal for thinking he was going to die, thanks," Stan told the ghost as he grumbled, "also, you owe me for the roof you blew up back there."

"Oh hush, you grouchy grumble butt," Mabel stuck her tongue out at him. "Look around," she said, waving her arm around, "recognize anything?"

Stan did as was asked, and frowned. It wasn't the woods anymore, that was for sure. He was by a school. New pavement and concrete was laid onto the ground, and large chain-link fence was behind him. As Stan looked ahead, he realized where he was an a single heart-fluttering moment.

"School. Jersey Academy for Youngsters," Stan declared as he looked around.

No longer was it night, and no longer was he alone with ghost Mabel. Kids of varying sizes and ages walked around them, talking animatedly.

"This is what, exactly?" Mabel asked.

"My second school. Where me and-"

"Hey, Stanford!"

Stan shut his mouth and gasped, turning to see a trio of thug-looking kids approach a boy, much smaller than them while reading through thick glasses. He entirely ignored them until the smaller of the trio rushed forward and swiped away his book. He gasped and reached out but another of the trio pushed him back while chuckling.

"Give it back, Ralph!" young Stanford Pines demanded.

"You damn punks!" Stan rushed forward and swiped at the book the third kid had, who hadn't noticed Stan, "give my brother back his book!" Yet his hand swiped through his body, leaving no change of the scene. "Wait, what?"

"Grunkle Stan, this is just a memory," Mabel told him as she walked up next to him, "you're just like me here- a ghost. They don't even know you're here."

Stan looked back just as his younger twin fell to the ground after being pushed. He gritted his teeth and stomped his foot, and just then a similarly sized kid leapt from behind, tackling the bigger of the three to the ground.

"Not today, suckers!" he said triumphantly, and punched the face of the fallen punk twice. He whipped around at the other two, who gasped and tossed the book aside before running. "Jerks," he grumbled, standing up and handing the book back to his brother. "This is why dad isn't wrong, Ford," Stanford Pines told his twin.

"Dad can say whatever he wants," Stanford grumbled as he took the book and adjusted his glasses, "he just wants to make sure we bully better than everyone else does. That still doesn't make us not bullies."

"At least then you wouldn't be picked on," Stanley pointed out and Stanford spun around, putting his book into his sack. "So," Stanley grinned as he patted his brother's back, "you ready for tonight?"

"You bet I am!" Stanford grinned through his thick glasses.

"Wait," the older Stanley Pines gasped, and looked around, realizing that the leaves were all orange, red, brown and yellow, "it's-"

"Halloween!" the three of them gasped simultaneously.

"Hah! I knew there was a reason I was ready to tackle a dude twice as big as me," Grunkle Stan told Mabel with a grin, "aside from picking on my brother. You don't mess with a Pines on our favorite Holiday!"

"No kidding," Mabel said with a satisfied grin, "you really banged up that one kid."

"He was asking for it," Stan told her, "pushing my brother around. This is the one day we have fun, and I don't let anyone get in the way of that. We used to have so much fun," Stan sighed, scratching the side of the face as he felt a great weight lift from his body like an evaporating mist. He looked to Mabel, who shocked him. She was... frowning. "What?" he asked.

"Here," she waved her hand.

Stan blinked, and then gasped.

No longer was he in the home he had know for almost forty years of his life. He was in a different home- an older home. Still located in the eastern coast, where just outside the window of his father's house, Stan could see the shore of Jersey. The old man gasped as he felt his neck, allowing the hairs now standing on end to brush against his hand. The sun had just set, and the ending glow of coming night beckoned him. The lights were all off in the home as Stan focused around him. Pictures of witches and pumpkins decorated the walls around him.

"You remember all of this?" Mabel asked him, stepping next to him as he looked around the kitchen.

"Yup. In all of it's glory," he said with a grin, and then two figures rushed past him. "And... my brother."

Slightly older than the image Stan had just left, Mister Mystery stared now at the young high school age self and his brother, who both wore entirely home-made costumes. Cut up and dripping with dyed corn-syrup, the twins cackled as they checked the mirror.

"John will go crazy when he sees us," Stanford told his brother with a grin.

"You think Felicia will run first, or him?" Stanley asked as he applied more syrup to his face.

"John," Stanford nodded, "definitely john."

Stan gasped and sighed as he stared at the younger memories of himself. Mabel stepped before them as they cackled further, reminding themselves of the coming exploit.

"You and your brother found a lot of joy in our sibling holiday," Mabel told him, "Halloween."

"Yeah, you could say that," Grunkle Stan shrugged.

"Could? C'mon Grunkle Stan," Mabel turned and pointed just as the two brothers began to flick at each other with the corn syrup. "You two worshipped it!"

"Why shouldn't we!?" Stan barked, stepping past her to watch himself and his brother play. "It was the only time of the year when freaks like us... finally had a chance to get back at the world without punishment. When the freaks like us were celebrated. A holiday for freaks like... me and my brother."

The doorbell rang, and all three Stans whipped away from the mirror. The two younger ones grinned and punched each other, vanishing into the shadows as Stan rubbed his hands together.

"Ohhh, this is going to be good," Stan said aloud.

"What do you and Stanley have up your sleeve?" Mabel asked, following Stan towards the front door.

"You'll see. In order to become master of fright," Stan told Mabel as he pushed his hand against the wall, and realized he could step through it like it weren't there, "I had to start somewhere." Stan stepped onto the porch in the cookie-cutter neighborhood. "You see Mabe- err, ghost of whatever," Stan looked behind him as Mabel stepped out, "dad wouldn't ever stick around for Halloween. Too busy working. So, bro and I? We had our work cut out for us being the scariest in the neighborhood."

Directly before Stan and Mabel was a young woman dressed like a nurse and a blond man dressed as suited Dracula. As the two stared at the door, looking nervously around, Stan's smile began to widen further and further.

"Hey, guys?" the girl called to the door. "Are you home?"

"C'mon Felicia," the boyfriend named John said, putting an arm around her, "we should probably get going."

"But the twins said they'd come with us to the party," she said and pushed him aside, knocking on the doors again. "Guys! Mister Pines?" she called.

"See? They aren't here. Let's get going already," John asked of her, poking at his fake fangs inside his mouth. From the side of the home, Stanley stepped out. Gasping and holding onto his stomach, he stumbled closer, eyes wide with terror as he got into Johns sight. He gasped and spun, "F-Felicia!"

"Huh? What is it-" she turned and saw her friend moving towards her, and shrieked. "Stanford!"

"R-run," Stanford gurgled as he fell to his knees. He let his hand move from his stomach, and the goopy puddle of corn syrup fell away into the grass of his lawn, leaving a huge, fake gash in his stomach. Yet the effect, couple with his impressive acting as he collapsed to the side sold the scene to John and Felicia. The man whimpered and pulled her away just as Stanley stepped out from a bush, holding a shovel at his side.

"Only one Stan allowed in this town!" Stanford roared as he swung the shovel above his head, flinging strings of crimson corn syrup around. "Witnesses are going to die! DIE! DIE-" Stanford leapt at the two, and then stood up fully, and began to laugh, dropping his shovel.

"Classic!" Stan roared next to Mabel

"Guys!" Felicia gasped and shoved Stanford to the ground, and he collapsed next to his twin, who grinned and chuckled as Stanford held his stomach from his cackles. "That wasn't funny at all!"

"We disagree," Stanford pointed out as he wiped some of the syrup from his forehead.

"Hey, yeah, me too," Grunkle Stan added with a smirk.

"They can't hear you?" Mabel reminded him.

"Yeah, it was pretty funny," John shakily added, stepping out from behind his girlfriend as he pushed the messy looking shovel away with his foot.

"There! See? John's a good sport about it," Stanford pointed to the blond on the walkway.

"And an even better scare," Stanley chuckled.

"I-I wasn't scared," John proclaimed, adjusting his suit. The twins devilishly grinned as Felicia scoffed. "I was just, uh, startled. Yeah! That's it: startled."

"So where's this party you're taking us to, 'oh so easily startled one'?" Stanley asked as he stood up quickly and helped up his brother.

"We'll take you now," Felicia asked them, "if you're done acting like a bunch of goons." In response, the twins began to amble forward, leaving their mouths open like a bunch of zombies. She groaned. "Total blockheads."

"More like 'bloodheads'," Stanford admitted as he and Stanley stepped next to the pair, and they began to leave behind Stan and Mabel.

"You had friends in high school," she said with a smile.

"Eventually. The twin thing helped," Stan explained, "we had each other's back a lot. Well... most of the time. Never had the same gym period together, and Stanley got pushed into lockers a lot."

"Sounds like you had a lot of love for Halloween, ya big numbskull" Mabel stated.

Stan grinned and nodded. Those days were better. Not the best, but better. He had found a niche in life. He was growing to be a wide shouldered, strong minded, handsome man with a smarter brother than he could have ever anticipated. Then they began to graduate, and...

"So, are you done showing me my past?" Stan asked hopefully, "because I'm not sure what you're trying to get across to me. It's not working though, whatever it is."

"That's because you're looking at Halloween, the holiday that started Summerween, dummy," Mabel told him, pointing up at him with accusation. "You don't remember the sweat you and your brother put into those costumes- tearing up those shirts and mixing up that syrupy-"

"I remember," Stan told her quickly, "it's not something I easily forget."

"Then you won't have forgotten how Summerween came to be," She told him. Stan's eyes widened and his inner mind trembled.

"No. Don't take me there. You've already shown me enough-"

"Sorry Grunkle Stan," Mabel sighed as she waved her hand, and the world grew dark and quiet at the same time, "tour's not over yet."

"No! I don't want to-"

Stan was silenced as he stepped closer to her and then was stunned. He was now staring at the soon to be Mystery Shack. A rough construction in the middle of the woods in a barely developed town only known as Gravity Falls, the building had only enough room for one person reasonably. Yet, for two years straight, it had managed for not two, but three. Stan gasped as the door burst open and a younger, more muscular, and angrier version of himself stomped out, covered in scratches and bandages on his arms.

"Stanley!"

Stan gasped as he whipped around, a hand at his heart.

"No, I don't want to be here," Stan said aloud, not to Mabel as he watched his equally aged twin brother follow him out. Stanford had also grown out physically, but still wore thick glasses and was relatively dwarfed by his brother. At the door behind Stanley was a thin, scrawny man with a long nose and brown mullet, watching apprehensively.

"Grunkle Stan, you need to remember this," she told him sadly.

"Why? What's good to remember here?" he told her angrily. "Just a whole lot of... lot of pain."

"What?" the younger Stanley barked at his brother.

"Would you let the poor guy explain himself?" Stanford told him.

"That's all he does! Explain! Explain! Yadda, yadda, yadda!" Stanley yelled to the darkening sky above.

"I'm sorry Stanford," the scientist behind them asked.

"Fiddleford, it's okay," Stanford assured him," my _brother_ is just being a prissy little princess."

"Call me a what?!" Stanley demanded of his brother, rounding on him. Stanley faced him directly, now face to face.

"I bet you fifty bucks that if you had those scratches on you later and had babes around you, you'd be shrugging off those cuts like it was nothing, not wining about how much they sting," Stanford told him. Stanley opened his mouth several times, as if on each occasion ready to retort with a new, more clever response. Yet his brother continued to glare at him, and finally Stanley relented and pouted, spinning away.

"Tough break, huh?" Mabel asked to the older Stanford, solemnly watching the scene.

"We had just dealt with the gnomes as enemies for the first time. Discovered they had borders to the woods, and _I_ discovered they were pretty much indestructible," Stan explained. "It was one of the few nights we were all beat together."

True to Stan's word, the three looked exhausted. Stanley was physically beaten and worn; showing stained patches of blood on his shirt easily enough for quite the struggle. Stanford's hair looked tangled and messy, and was smeared with dirt and grime. Fiddleford H. McGucket's shirt and tie were messy and tangled, and his glasses were entirely lop-sided. It looked like the three of them had gone through quite the tumble.

"Can we go now, please?" Stan asked Mabel.

"Not yet," Mabel glared at him, "hold your horses, amigo."

"You know, I need to blow of some steam," Stanley suddenly declared to the sky.

"Same here," McGucket added. Stanley laughed.

"And how does that work for you? Go through some of your math problems?"

"No," Fiddleford stated, but folded his arms and adjusted his glasses, "not all the time."

As Stanley barked his laugh, Stanford sighed and rubbed his forehead too. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm feeling the same way."

"What? You want to go egghead with Fiddle-worth over here?" Stanley asked.

"No, blow off steam. You know, do something fun that we're going to entirely own in every regard," Stanford told Stanley and Fiddleford. "Like a, uh... haunted house or something."

"Ugh! Not more responsibility," Stanley groaned.

"As rare as it is to agree with Stanley on anything relating our works, "McGucket told Stanford, "I believe he's right. Let's not start any other projects that require maintenance."

"Then... maybe what we need," Stanford looked between them," is something that has built-in self-maintenance."

"...Yeah, I don't follow," Stanley shrugged.

"Something that we make that doesn't need us to watch over it," Stanford suggested, "something that is so easy and enjoyable that we don't even consider it a chore-"

"And that sounds a lot like Halloween," Stanley pointed out to Stanley. The twin gasped.

"It does! Maybe-" Stanley said.

"We should-"

"Put costumes on-"

"And scare the-"

"Pants off of-"

"The entire town!"

The twins celebrated their brainstorming together, leaping into the air and high-fiving proudly. Stanley landed and held his arm to the side, wincing at the cuts and small bite-marks all along his arm.

"As fun and, uh, spooky, as it all sounds," Fiddleford added with a timid raise of his finger, "gentlemen, it's the end of June. The holiday you speak of is not for another four months."

"Heck to that," Stanley declared.

"Right," Stanford grinned, "I'm not going to let one night of total fun and scaring the pants off an entire town be ruined because the calendar decides for us when we can do that. Fiddleford, you in?" Stanford asked, holding out a hand to the timid scientists. Running a hand through his hair, McGucket slowly made his choice. With a sigh, he extended his hand and shook hands with Stanford.

"I might as well see some of these tactics you two were talking about. 'Masters of Fright' is quite the impressive title," he told them with a faint grin.

"To the closets!" Stanley declared, "find your worst shirts and pants, and prepare to utterly destroy them!"

"Oh, must we?" McGucket whined as both arms of his were taken by the twins, and he was dragged back inside the building, hoisted up into the air with ease. As the door closed behind them, Stan cross his arms and walked away.

"Grunkle Stan, don't you want to watch you create a holiday?" Mabel asked, skipping to keep up with him.

"No."

"Why not?" she asked. "It's pretty influential," she pointed out.

"Because this is stupid," he told her, refusing to look back, "now take me home," he grumbled, "I want to sleep."

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel leapt before him, "you're ignoring the love you once had for this holiday! Once, this meant everything to you! It was your holiday: the one you and your brother breathed life into!"

"At what cost?" Stan asked her, his heavy gaze fixing itself to hers. Mabel closed her mouth, her expecting energy draining the longer he looked at her. "Mabel, what if I had just decided to have enough and leave town?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Stanford may never have gotten further with the portal. McGucket may never had tolerated me and... lost his mind!" Stan groaned as he pushed a hand into his eyes. "I could have ended all their suffering in the future by just walking away from it all then and there. I was ready to, Mabel! Instead... we got together again and, and..."

Stan sighed and sat by a log, feeling the pressure in his chest cause the world to feel heavier than it should. With his hands covering his face, he could only hear Mabel step next to him until she patted his shoulder.

"Stanford Pines," she said, voice of Mabel but not the words, "you've done more than just 'ruin the lives' of two men. You've given a whole population of two thousand people something to enjoy. Look."

Mabel waved her hand, and spun him around, showing their location as changed. They were now in the middle of the small town. The populace had gathered by the town hall, holding up fliers excitedly, with the words 'Summerween' on them.

"The town loved it! Sure, the old residents thought you were Satan and his cohorts come to invade earth," Mabel shrugged, "but the kids thought it was awesome to have two Halloweens, parents liked it because it gave kids a chance to get outside more, and shopkeepers loved it because soda and candy got sold again! You gave a whole new holiday and they named it the following day. Summerween; by non other than Fiddleford H. McGucket."

"It was a stupid name, anyway," Stan protested as he stared at the dozens of people walking into town hall.

"I think what you suggested was Summer-Halloween?" Mabel told him. He grumbled, and Mabel stepped before him. "Stanley, please. You need to remember why this holiday was created, and what it gives people in the present."

"I remember, yeesh, don't cram it down my neck," he told her as he shook his head. "Now take me home already."

"Your love for the holiday needs to realized again," she told him.

"I do love the holiday," he growled.

"Then how can you stand to turn away from it's past?" she asked, again with words not befitting her voice and tone. Stan ground his teeth and looked away. "You've let the memory of losing your brother pin you down, Stanley Pines."

"Don't try telling me what to feel about my brother!" Stan told her, suddenly out of breath. "I've lost so much, and you-"

"Stanley Pines, you must look to your time and move on from the past. Otherwise, you will be forced to watch... the past repeat and escalate," she told him.

"W-What?!" he gasped, and stepped closer, "tell me what will happen!?"

"I can't. That's not what I am, Grunkle Stan," Mabel told him, "I'm just the past. I am what was, not what is, and I am most certainly not... what could be."

"Dang it, you impostor spook! You tell me why I should believe you, or I'll drag you right to my actual grand-niece and have her deal with you herself!" Stan threatened. Mabel only shrugged and sighed, wiggling a finger before his face.

"I'm not to be trifled with, Stanley. I'm a powerful spirit. Well, maybe one day I will be," she admitted with a sad sigh.

Stan had enough. He lunged forward, tackling the spirit of Mabel, and the past of Summerween. He rushed forward and fell at the ground, tussling the agile spirit. As he struggled against her will, suddenly Stan felt the urge to sneeze. Without warning, his body tensed up, he slammed his eyes shut and roared a sneeze.

When he opened them, he was sitting upright in his bed, half under covers and half out of them.

"Wait, what?" he said to himself, slowly looking around. There was no sign of the Spirit of Summerween Past, nor any sign as he glanced upwards, of the damage it had caused to the ceiling. Had it been just one, long, very complex dream? His mind then flickered as he remembered a certain threat by a certain woman who was staying in a certain motel room.

With a growl, Stan swiped the covers aside and marched to his door, twisted and pulled on the handle, and swung it aside as he marched out.

* * *

And yet, not a single carol in sight. What the heck is this blatant false-advertising!? SOMEONE HAS HECK TO PAY!

So if you know what I am literally ripping off, good. I have nothing to explain. But because I can't be too sure if the world knows what this is, let me explain anyway. (Still, good for you for knowing what this is based off of. :D)

This is a parody of a famous story by Charles Dickens, merely titled 'A Christmas Carol'. In it, Ebeneezer Scrooge, an old curmudgeonly miser is visited by several spirits, who all enlighten him to his mistakes of being a horrible human being. He slowly re-learns the spirit of not just Christmas, but of the generosity of Mankind.

Hopefully this all sounds somewhat familiar to you. At least maybe in 'theory'. :p

Part two is just around the corner. Then we meet the spirit of Summerween Present and then the dreaded Spirit of Summerween yet to come. Hope you enjoyed, and remember-

(A huge vat of boiling pudding is dropped onto EZB, encasing him in a chocolate demise of lava-like sweetness. Not the worst way to go, certainly.)


	40. A Summerween Carol: Part 2

He was out of the gift shop door before he could give a second remark to Yuki, who had been walking towards the staircase with his arms laid with snacks. Grunkle Stan, only in his robe and boxers marched at a furious pace along the side of the porch to the left and after the motel rooms. The first one, closest to him, held his target. A woman in her thirties who had seemingly cursed him.

He would certainly love to provide a curse or two back.

With his slippers scraping against the harsh wood below him, Grunkle Stan growled and bashed the door with his knuckles. A loud start inside told him he had either awakened her, or to his minute pleasure, frightened her.

A moment later, Arline Hirsh opened the door and squinted out, her eyes nearly closed and her hair a mess.

"I already paid today. What do you want?" she asked as she sent a hand through her hair.

"Ohh, oh-ho-hooo," Grunkle Stan wiggled a finger in her face, "don't try that innocent stuff with me, woman," he warned her, "I'm not in the mood for your 'I'm just here to help' crud!" he barked at her. She blinked and studied him.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded, "or did you come to apologize?"

"Apologize!?" Stan demanded.

"For how you've been possibly the worst host I've ever met. How you've been treating Yuki. How all you care about-"

"Good lord, you're _still_ on about that?" he sighed, and stretched his face with a hand. "I don't care about your stupid, heartfelt, goodie-two-shoes message, got it?" he informed her harshly. "What I do care about is that you take this stupid, un-thoughtful, literal mean-spirited curse off of me!"

Arline blinked again, and looked around. Her eyes peered into the woods and the corner her side of the building ended by, as if expecting something to be waiting near. When she could not find such a thing, she turned back to Stan and shook her head.

"This is a prank, right?" she told him, "you're here, trying to prank me?"

"If it was, I'd be even more convincing," Stan told her heatedly. Arline rolled her eyes.

"Right. Well, goodnight, Stanley," she said and began to close the door.

"Wait!" he rushed forward, placing himself between the door and frame, "wait! I'm not joking here!"

"You still haven't been clear with what you're 'not joking' about," she said with disinterest.

"You made ghosts haunt me!" Stan told her, "three ghosts! Three ghosts of Summerween! And they're trying to teach me some stupid lesson or something!" Stan told her. Arline eye's widened and she slid the door open. "Yeah, yeah! See? I'm not crazy!" Stan nodded with a wide smile, grateful maybe she would hear him out.

"Wow... well, have a good night," she added, and then slammed the door inches from his face.

"W-what?! Arline! HIRSH!" he yelled, pounding on the door, "you can't do this to me!"

"Shh!" The head of another staying resident poked out and hissed at Stan.

"Hey, go 'shh' yourself! I'm being haunted here! This is a dire emergency!" Stan barked at the man, who snarled and slowly rescinded back into his motel room. Stan turned back to Arline's own room, and as he moved to her window, trying to peer past the curtains, the lights went out. "Hirsh! Don't do this to me! I don't do ghosts in my own home anymore!"

No reply was uttered back. No argument was given. Stan only saw the darkness behind the curtain and wondered what he could do to help himself. His best bet was to go into a chest he stored next to his gun cabinet and try finding one of those weirdo-burning spice sticks his brother once used.

As Stan turned around, he yelled. Someone had been right behind him.

"Hey mister pines!"

"Soos!" Stan gasped, holding a hand to his heart, "oh, Soos. Call me senile, but I'm glad to see you. I'm being haunted!" he informed his trusted employee.

"Sure you are," he nodded with a grin. Stan's expression darkened.

"Soos, I'm being serious here. Try not to let sarcasm get the best of you," Stan told him, as he put a heavy hand on Soos's shoulder, "besides, it doesn't suit you."

"You bet it doesn't," Soos nodded, grinning, "that's why I was being totally serious. You _are_ being haunted!"

Stan's hand was pulled away from his employee like an electrical currant had been run through it. He stared at his long time friend and almost-able-to-call second son. Soos was wearing his newest Luchador costume- red and golden with purple accents along the borders of his cape. The mask on Soos was tight, which was opposite to his belly, which hang out proudly.

"Soos... you're not really here, are you?" Stan asked sadly.

"Nope!"

"You're not actually Soos, are you?"

"Not at all!"

"You're actually-"

"The ghost of Summerween present!" Soos declared, spinning around, letting the cape flutter majestically. "Here to haunt you and bring you up to speed with the best summer holiday! At least to me, it is," Soos admitted with a shrug.

"Okay, I order you to not haunt me," Stan pointed at him, "or you're fired."

"That may work on the real Soos," The Ghost of Summerween Present told him, "but I'm just using the identity of Soos to communicate with you!"

"Okay, seriously? What's with that?" Stan said, glaring at the Soos-lookalike. "Shouldn't you be a costume or something? You're a ghost representing the spirit of Summerween, not the ghost of my, uh, accomplices," Stan admitted, rubbing his back. "You should be some ornament or something." He wasn't planning on admitting any attachment to those around him in the presence of such haunting beings. Yet Soos laughed and waved a hand at Stan.

"You may be able to fool your relatives and friends, and even yourself dude," Soos poked Stan's chest gently, "but I'm the ghost of the present! I'm up to date on everything."

"Joy," Stan groaned.

"I know, right?" Soos clapped a hand on Stan's shoulder. "But to answer your question, I am wearing a costume! The costume of Jesus Alzamirano Ramirez," The Ghost of Summerween Present explained.

Stan sighed and glared at the ghost. "So what are you showing me now? The best sales? The new trending costumes for Summerween? Maybe now the monsters of town are in on it too?"

"They're starting to warm up to it," Soos shrugged, "give it a few more years and they may join in on the fun too dawg."

"That's not what I wanted to hear," Stan grumbled as Soos laughed.

"C'mon dude," he said to Stan happily, grabbing his arm.

"W-wait! I don't want to fly again!" Stan barked.

"Why not dude?"

"B-because, uh, heights! I hate 'em!" Stan prompted, but Soos gave him a knowing look. "Up to date on everything..."

"Yup! I know you got over that years ago! But that mode of transport? Sooo the past. I'm the here and now!" Soos declared as he grabbed Stans hand and put it on his shoulder, "so hold on for a second, because the present is always here and now."

Stan felt another mystic compulsion to blink. When he did, he was in downtown Gravity Falls. Pulling his hand away from Soos, he spun and studied the surrounding shops and buildings. The last time he had been down here was a week ago, helping Zander Maximillion purchase items to re-build and, truthfully, upgrade the structure of the Mystery Manor. A lot had changed in a week.

The street lights, buzzing their timid hum of electrical powered bulbs, were covered in red and black streamers. Connecting all the lights together was a long tether of plastic bats, complete with glowing red eyes. On the ground by the ends of each street were collections of plastic lit watermelons, glowing red with various faces carved out. People still traversed the streets sparsely, passing the decorations eagerly with shopping bags weighing heavily in their arms. As they walked past the two, Stan could make out the various decorations in the shops. The whole town- totally transformed just for a single night.

Stan took it all in, his mouth just barely open. Soos chuckled.

"So, is it what you expected?" The Ghost of Summerween Present asked.

"I, uh, of course!" Stan lied, coughing away at his uncertainty. Soos chuckled, and patted his back.

"Lying to me won't do you any good, Mister Pines," Soos told him.

"Then why even bother asking?" Stan asked, glaring at the apparition.

"Because it gives you a chance to be honest with yourself, you know?" Soos admitted, "that's important."

"You know, you could just end this now and let me get my rest," Stan growled.

"Sorry Mister Pines," Soos shrugged, "not until you learn a lesson you've forgotten."

"And that is?" Stan asked. Soos grinned, and poked the elders forehead. "Don't do that," Stan grumbled and rubbed the spot as he backed away.

"Dude, you need to remember that you're important to these people," Soos told him. Stan whipped around to face Soos. After a moment of staring, he then burst out laughing, slapping his knee.

"Good one- me, not thinking I'm important," Stan shook his head as he wiped away a tear.

"Mister Pines, you've been worried since they came back to town they'd out grow you," Soos told him, and Stan's smile trembled. "The twins getting older and less dependant is something that's scared you. And with them single handedly saving the town a month ago, now you think the proofs before you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Stan turned away, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Toby Determined prance down the street, eating candy by the handful.

"Dude, Mister Pines," Soos walked next to him, a worried look genuinely given, "it's making kinda harsh of Yuki-"

"He needs to learn the reality of living with humans," Stan retorted.

"And Arline," Soos added.

"She's-"

"Helped the twins and the mystery shack a ton of times," Soos crossed his arms and looked him in the eyes. Stan grumbled and again looked away. "You can't deny she's helped them, not to me dude."

"I'll deny whatever the heck I wanna," Stan bit back. As he stared away, his eyes focused on a girl with purple, black and red, with waist length blond hair. "Is that the Northwest brat?" he asked. Soos stepped next to him and nodded.

"Pacifica. Yup," he nodded. The teenager stood on the sidewalk with her arms crossed, tapping a foot outside a costume shop. She rolled her eyes and sighed as she stood still, glancing occasionally at passers by.

"Hah, see?" Stan pointed to her, "not everyone's a fan of the holiday."

"You sure about that, Mister Pines?" Soos asked with a grin. He pointed back to Pacifica, and Stan watched.

Zander Maximillion stepped out, a large bag tied around his arm. "Thank you! We really appreciate your work!" he called into the shop as he closed the door. On his head was a large, wide brimmed red hat that looked like it belonged on some gothic vampire hunter. He turned to Pacifica, staring down at her with a knowing half-grin. She huffed and looked away. "They were more than happy to work with you if you treated them nicely, you know."

"You mean work with you," she grunted, kicking at the sidewalk.

"Pacifica, shouting at them about not having your exact idea in mind for a costume wasn't a good idea to begin negotiations," Zander told her as he ruffled through the bag. She spun around and sighed.

"Well, if they had made it sound like my idea _wasn't_ stupid to begin with- I mean, being a sexy werewolf secretary isn't such a crazy idea. It was in She-Wolf, after all," Pacifica pouted. Zander chuckled, and lifted something from the bag, and gently tossed it into her crossed arms.

"That should help," he told her. Pacifica lifted it to her gaze, and found herself looking at a large professional cosmetic kit for werewolves. "With that out of the way, next up is-"

"Uh, thanks," Pacifica mumbled as she glanced from the kit to Zander. He shrugged.

"You already paid for it. Should have held your temper when they laughed at your idea- maybe they liked it instead of thinking it was stupid?" he asked her. Pacifica shrugged.

"I'm just... still upset," she admitted. Zander nodded and put a hand to her shoulder.

"Your parents will come to their senses... maybe," Zander added with a gaze to the hill over trees in the distance. "So you'll just chill with me and set up tomorrows party in the meantime."

"What happened to her?" Stan asked Soos. The ghost shook his head slowly.

"After helping the twins last week, her parents decided to take way all her household privileges," Soos explained, "so she ran off to Zander. He's been more than a help to her recently," he added with a grin to the former rock star.

"Hah. She could use the break from riches anyway," Stan told her.

"And be homeless?" Soos asked.

"Heh. A little homelessness helps build character," Stan shrugged. Soos chuckled.

"But don't you see? Mister Pines, this holiday brings people together. Rather than letting Pacifica think she gets a free ride, Zander is using the guise of having her be party manager to have her stay with him for a bit. People are happy and excited, shops are ready to open and celebrate with the town," Soos rambled, waving his arms around as Zander and Pacifica walked past, lightly changing ideas.

"Yeah, yeah, big help I've been-"

"Well, howdy-diddly doo folks!"

The color to Stan's face dropped into a light grey as he turned and found Zander and Pacifica stopped by a skinny, old man with almost no teeth remaining in his mouth.

"Get lost, McGucket," Pacifica told him. Zander swatted her back, and she winced. "I mean... ugh, hope you're enjoying pre-Summerween."

"Enjoying? I revel in it! Hyuck-hyuck!" Fiddleford 'Old Man' McGucket replied enthusiastically, presenting the two of them with a small jig.

"You aren't kidding, are you?" Zander asked with a smile, "you know, Pacifica and I are holding a party at my house tomorrow evening. Do you have a costume?" he asked McGucket, who gasped.

"You mean I'm bein' officimacatedly invited to some fancy ball-party thing?" he asked.

"Uhh-" Pacifica started, but Zander quickly replied.

"As long as you have a costume, you can come," he told the old man, who clapped his hands as he hopped in place.

"That sounds dang-tootin' fun! I'll be comin' in costume all right! Woohoo!" and without another word to the two, the old man rushed past them, skipping on his way.

"McGucket's gross and smelly," Pacifica told Zander bitterly, "why are we inviting him?"

"Because being gross is what half the costumes are like, being smelly won't matter in a party with droves of candy, and, most importantly, he's got spirit in droves," Zander told her strongly. "And that's exactly what this holiday is about. Spirit. Or, at least spirits. Get it? Spirits?" Zander chuckled as Pacifica glared at him. "Fine. To my car," Zander sighed and pointed at ahead as Pacifica shook her head in embarrassment.

"See, Mister Pines?" Soos asked as Stan watched McGucket hobble away, "even McGucket is happy for this holiday.

"The only reason he is what he is... is because of me," Stan told Soos. "Had I just-"

"Dude, you're thinking about the negative of the past. What about the positive of the now? A whole town is happy because of what you've created," The Ghost of Summerween Present explained. "You brought a holiday that people wanted, badly- and they didn't even know it dawg."

"And I've ruined lives for it," Stan rebutted. Soos sighed.

"Touch my shoulder, dude," Soos told him. Stan raised his eyes from the ground and eyed the ghost. With a resigned sigh, he did as asked. There would be no fighting these ghosts- if they wanted to show him something, they were going to.

The moment Stan's hand was lifted off of Soos's shoulder, the scenery instantly changed. It was a private space- closed off from the world by wooden planks and a large window on the opposite end of the room. As Stan rubbed his eyes to ensure he knew where he was, a figure walked through him. He gasped and held a hand to his body- uncertain how to take the idea that people could still pass through him like shadow.

"I think Grunkle Stan is asleep," Mabel said as she approached her bed.

"Yeah, probably," Dipper replied, lying on his back on his own bed. Yuki sat on the edge of Dipper's bed, hands on his lap as he scratched his head.

"But anyway, Summerween," Mabel sat down on her, directly facing Yuki, "it's not really about scaring people for their lives- it's about the fun."

"You must explain the concept of terror equaling fun," Yuki said to her as he crossed his fingers together and listened.

"Well, when humans get scared, we freak out for bit, but when it's something that isn't actually dangerous, we laugh at it, because it was just a joke," Mabel tried.

"But then the moment of terror is the payment for enjoyment?" Yuki asked. Mabel gave his own take on it a moment of thought, and then shrugged.

"Ah, yeah? Sorta? Dipper-" she called to her quiet brother, "help me out here."

"You're doing fine," Dipper said in a dreary tone.

"Pfft, help a sis out, Dipping-sauce," Mabel requested. Dipper sighed, and looked to Yuki.

"Endorphins are released in human bodies after being scared. We like them. We're happier when we're not actually in danger. Boom, done," Dipper leaned back. Yuki blinked, and nodded.

"I suppose that does make some sense," he said as he scratched his scalp and rubbed his leafs. "I am excited, just... I must experience it for myself, I suppose."

"Ugh, you guys talk so boringly," Mabel groaned as she put her cheek in her hands.

Stan stared at Dipper, eyeing the teenager. "He's still pretty down," he muttered.

"Yup," Soos nodded, "and you're still worried about him and Wendy." Stan jolted and whipped to Soos, scowling at him. Soos shrugged. "I'm up to date on-"

"Everything, yeah, yeah, I got it," Stan answered for him.

"Maybe you should help Dipper out on this one?" Soos suggested. Stan shook his head. "Why not, Mister Pines?"

"He wouldn't hear it, anyway. And It's not my place to help Dipper figure this one out," Stan told Soos, "nor is it my place to go spilling Wendy's secrets for her."

Mabel spoke up, drawing the attention of the two spectators. "So what's the deal with Grunkle Stan, Dipper? Is he having one of those 'man-o-pause' things?" she asked. Dipper lifted himself onto his elbows and stared at her. "What?"

"I think he's passed that stage in his life," Dipper shook his head. "I have no idea why he's being such a jerk these days."

Stan closed his eyes and glared at Soos. "Okay, I get it. We can go now. I'm annoying the twins."

"Not yet, Mister Pines," Soos told him.

"He is, uh, rather difficult at times," Yuki replied.

"What?" Mabel gasped.

"Did- did I say something out of line?" Yuki cringed, looking between the twins.

"No, more like you're not being harsh enough," Dipper explained as he moved over and sat next to the alien, "you of all people deserve to rat out Stan."

"Yeah! What's the deal with him not giving you a day off tomorrow?" Mabel crossed her arms together, "what a jerk-nosed-porcupine butt."

"Oh, I'm so insulted," Stan rolled his eyes.

"He has been a jerk. Not just to you, but to Arline as well," Dipper prompted. "Can't look at her without trying to start a fight." Stan opened his mouth, ready to argue that point. Yet his memory served against him, and he went quiet as his cheeks felt hot.

"It's not like she ever did anything against him. Ever," Mabel added.

"And he still tries bossing us around," Dipper grumbled.

Stan felt the weight of their words infect him. It was one thing to hear the comments of the past repeated, but these were his grand kids, probably less than a hundred feet away from his bedroom, tearing into him like he was rotting rags. The combination of their sincerity and their conviction ate at his heart, and Stan found it harder to handle the insults as they continued.

"So that's why I'm here?" Stan asked Soos, his tired eyes heavy with sadness, "to break an old man from his family?"

"Not exactly," Soos nodded back to the twins, and Stan turned to watch.

"Please," Yuki interrupted a long winded rant by Mabel about Stan's many faults, "can we not 'bash' your grand uncle with such neagtivity?"

"What?" Mabel asked.

"Yuki, dude, you need to vent," Dipper told him. The alien shook his head and looked to them both.

"I cannot hold such things against Stanley. He has lived a long, human life. He has learned many things that only he will remember, and been to many places he will only see. Who am I to judge his word when he has a different life of experiences than I?" Yuki inquired to the twins. Dipper was agape, and looked around, collecting his thoughts. Yet, Mabel quickly spoke.

"You can get up all in his face when he's being rude. Doesn't matter if he's been to mount Rushmore or whatever, he should still be nice to you!"

"Especially you," Dipper added, "you may have started the whole Animus thing, but you also solved it with us. He tends to forget that last bit," Dipper reminded him.

"Maybe. Even so," Yuki stayed firm in words, "I am obligated to trust his word, and that he will come to see and trust me in a new light."

"What if he doens't?" Dipper quickly asked. Yuki seemed shaken by this aspect as he looked between the twins.

"Humans change. They are adaptive creatures when they are pressed to do so," Yuki said as he nervously looked between the twins, "they only stagnate when they are too comfortable."

"Then make him uncomfortable," Mabel leaned forward to Yuki, "so he'll change for you." Dipper too looked to Yuki, who was mildly trembling. Stan also watched, and felt a new gut reaction to the scene other than pain. Guilt.

"I, uh, no," Yuki placed a smile on his face, "I trust your grand uncle to be able to make the correct call when he sees fit to. He has made a long life doing so, and I believe he can continue to do thus."

"Man, he's got some mad faith in you," Soos told Stan.

The old man said nothing, instead watching as Yuki tried to re-direct the twins to explain more about Summerween and Halloween traditions. It was strange to watch someone act candidly, unaware of his presence as he eavesdropped on their every word. Yuki really didn't speak badly of him. Even when provoked and asked to, he held his tongue. Was it fear that made him do so? Or respect? Stan wasn't sure he could tell the difference.

"I don't want to be here any more," Stan turned to Soos.

Soos grinned, and put a hand to his shoulder. "Mister Pines, you need to remember that people trust you. It's the same with me- well, with Soos," The Ghost of Summerween Past told him," he trusts you with his life like a father."

"Well, he shouldn't," Stan told him angrily, "none of them should. I'm selfish, and money-driven."

"Mister Pines, you can keep telling yourself that, but we both know your guise is running short," Soos said. Then he swayed and put his hand against the door behind him and caught himself. Stan rushed forward. "See?" Soos asked as he caught his breath, his eyes distant, "you care more dawg."

"What's going on? You look pale," Stan said to him.

"Times up, dude," Soos shrugged, "the past never is here for long, you know? It's there and then- boom!" Soos clapped his hands together and then coughed, "ahh, it's already in the past."

"Wait, that's... that's all?" Stan asked the Soos look-alike. "You're just... fading out?"

Soos smiled as the truth was revealed. His entire being was slowly fading from existence like running paint from a watered masterpiece. His color faded first, and then his body became less and less physical as he stared at Stan with a happy, tired grin.

"Stanley Pines," Soos said with a flip of his grin, frowning as he pointed to his 'haunting victim', "beware the child of the future if you don't nourish it," he warned, his voice entirely echoing like a church bell ringing a morbid call.

"Wh-what are you saying?" Stan asked as Soos slumped to the ground, almost entirely gone.

"Feed the future with the good of the present, or else... the future takes what it can... to feed... it's own... present..."

The Ghost of the present was gone, and Stan blinked.

He was back in bed again. Had he ever left to pester Arline? He looked at the door, wondering what was to come. The future? The ghost representing this grim, dark, dangerous, 'hungry' future that loomed over Stan's head like a cloud of death? Stan cracked his neck, and bared his teeth. He had looked into the face of death before. He could do it again.

"Alright, you spectral conman," Stan told his door as he sat in bed, "show me your worst! The future isn't as bad as you guys make it out to be, because as long as we stick out the storm-"

The side of Stan's vision went dark as a figure glided past him in a long, entirely black hooded cloak. Stan leapt out of the covers and scrambled to the other side of the room, examining the approaching, silent figure. No face could be seen under the ragged hood with a top point. Arms stock still at its side as it approached Stan like the wind itself guided it's movement, the specter just as scary as death itself moved to be mere inches next to Stan. He gulped as he looked over the figure.

"So... I guess Soos- err, Ghost of the Present or whatever wasn't kidding," Stan nodded as he stared into the blackness of the face, "you're, uh... frightening. Mildly scary. But only mildly!" Stan reminded him with an insistent point to it's face.

The specter said nothing. It made no acknowledgement to Stan's attempts at bravery. Cold sweat formed under his arms and his neck as he stared into the face of the future. Finally it backed away, and Stan gasped.

He was back in Gravity Falls.

War torn Gravity Falls.

Buildings had crumbled and streets were torn up. Glass in windows were only shards of what once was, but no whole panels could be seen. Fires burned in the distance by the scrap yard, and as Stan turned around fully, he saw the state of the woods.

Trees moved on their own accord, lifting themselves up and moving about like giant monsters with animated roots. The clouds struck constantly with lightning, red and deep violet against the mountains, which seemed to flux with gravity on and off. Stan spotted the Northwest Mansion on the hill, where fire and bursts of light emanated out to him from the distance.

"What... what has happened here?" Stan asked the specter, his hands numb and his arms loose at his sides as he stood agape at the mess around him.

A roar and scattering of feet turned Stan around. A large cluster of Goblins, armed with their small muskets turned and fired into an alleyway, where a large tree pulled its way out, using branches and roots to draw itself closer to the fleeing goblins. Yet the damage it had taken from gunfire and, by the looks of it, axes digging into it's bark, had made it a slumbering beast drawing to its death. It fell with a crash as the goblins leapt aside, letting the animated tree collapse into the nearby insurance building. No sooner had the Goblins defeated the beast than they collected themselves into a group and ran across the street again, loading their rifles.

"They're in the town? With movable trees?" Stan gasped as he realized what he had just encountered. "What the heck happened!?" Stan demanded of the spirit. It made not reply, but merely floated away, and then pointed towards the mansion.

Stan breathed heavily as he took in all the carnage and destruction around him, and looked back up to the sky. There was no sight of blue in the swirling clouds of black and grey, crackling with power.

Stan followed the spirit out of town, and into the woods. There, the scene he happened upon was the same- an animal or species that no one knew about other than him and the twins was fighting someone, or something else. People battled against goblins, trees against crystal monsters, werewolves chasing after jeeps with screaming people trying to escape their fate.

Chaos had come to Gravity Falls, and Stan could only ask one thing to the ghost repeatedly: "How did this happen?"

Yet the spirit said nothing.

"We locked away Cipher. He's gone," Stan told the spirit as he walked with him through the woods, over bodies of fallen men and monster, "he's the only being with this much ability to cause havoc. And unless that portal is activated-"

The spirit spun around, the empty face looking to Stan. Stan blinked and stepped back.

"You... the portal is re-opened?" he asked. The spirit then turned away, continuing it's path. "W-wait! So the portal is opened again!? By who? Who did this all? Someone working for cipher?"

The spirit turned half way, indicating a hill for him to climb, and pointed forward.

Stan stepped next to him and craned his head and shielded his eyes from the bursts of light above them. This was the hill that would lead to the Northwest Mansion. As his eyes trained themselves to focus on the terrain he had to climb, he realized the uneven terrain wasn't from roots and rocks so commonly found in the woods- but bodies.

There were hundreds of corpses laying on the ground before him. Stan put a hand to his mouth, and turned back to the still looming spirit. "Why?! How!?" he demanded. "How did anything get this bad?!"

The spirit bowed it's head, but let it's hand, a single finger resembling that of a human, point outwards.

There was nothing to gain from expecting a straight answer. Stan mustered his strength and trudged upwards, stepping over the bodies of countless soldiers and monsters. Many of the human casualties wore army camouflage and even wore protective gear with high-quality weaponry. Some neat guns Stan wondered about their price were thrown around, even broken in half. But as he got higher and higher, stepping over monsters that Stan swore looked a lot like dragons, he started to see the civilians of Gravity Falls.

Many faces he knew lay dead in the dirt, looking around the forest with terror stricken into their eyes as he were taken, in many cases by sharp claws and horrible burns along their body. It was a war that took no prisoner, and Stan had to wade through it all. Finally he met the clearing, and stepped out into the light of the lightning above.

"Fire!"

A giant tree next to him had started slithering forward when a trio of flaming bottles rained down next to the creature. Shattering and drenching the beast in flammable liquid, the tree shirked and whined through it's bark as it spun and swayed, finally falling from it's height a few long moments after being bathed in fire. Yet Stan never looked to the burning wreck next to him. It was at the gates and walls of the Mansion, and specifically who had commanded the attack.

It was Mabel.

"Sweety!" Stan rushed forward, hopeful beyond all measure she was still alive. Over countless more bodies he rushed, and he leapt through the splintered and re-forged gate as easily as wind through hair. On the other side, he was met with a new image.

Countless soldiers and residents of the town were gathered around campfires and crates, all of which were stored in the front yard of the very beaten up and broken down mansion. Soldiers rested by windows, their powerful rifles scanning the forest around them. Stan saw a few survivors he knew amidst the crowds, but not nearly enough. The Ghost of Summerween Future floated next to him, and he jumped.

"So, there are survivors," he turned to the spirit, who did not look to him, "that means they're resisting whatever is going on around here, right?" he asked the ghost. "They're able to hold off the waves. Which means there's hope, right?" Stan asked again.

The spirit turned, and pointed it's finger to a crudely built staircase. Mabel Pines stepped down with none other than Pacifica Northwest, both looking tired and worn to heck. If Dipper's eyes had tired sacks under his eyes, the two ladies had an dark ocean resting under their red-shot gaze.

"There will be more. That was just a scout," Pacifica told a soldier she passed, one waiting by the end of the stairs. She handed to the soldier a machine gun and walked with Mabel, who held a large pistol in her hand. That light in her eyes, those deep brown eyes which always resonated with energy had become cold and sad.

"Girls," a small man with a bloodied rag over his eye came rushing over, "I needed to speak with you."

"Sure Toby," Pacifica said for Mabel, who turned and stared at the man.

"Uh... so," the awkwardly built man looked around before leaning in, "the rations the solider guys provided? We're running low of them." Pacifica growled and shook her head as Mabel nodded.

"Thank you, Toby," Mabel told him, "that's news I did need to hear."

"I don't think we should let anyone else know about it for now-"

"She said 'thank you'!" Pacifica snapped at him, and Toby almost fell back, "now get lost!" Pacifica shouted as she clenched her fists. Toby nodded and trotted away sourly, wobbling on one injured leg. "Mabel," Pacifica put a hand on her accomplices shoulder, "we should consider the mansion's underground exit."

"Once the other monsters figure that out, they'll swarm inside," Mabel told her.

"What else can we do?" Pacifica asked her, "unlike you, I'm not waiting on the end to come and get-"

Mabel's head snapped to glare directly into Pacifica, and her own icy cold gaze melted as she quickly shrunk. "Thank you, Pacifica. Go check on the sergeant now."

Pacifica made no nod or shrug, but quickly walked past Mabel.

Stan finally had the chance to look at his Grand Niece fully. She had a long scratch over her nose that cut from one cheek to the other. Half of her hair seemed to have been burned away, as the front of her scalp was pink and burnt. She looked thin and worn out, and her eyes were just as empty as her voice. She glanced around, even passing her gaze right over Stan, who gasped and walked closer.

"Oh, Mabel," Stan said as he stumbled closer. No sooner had he reached out to touch her than she had stepped forward. Away from the eyes of others she walked, and Stan followed. She had entered a garden path, no entirely devoid of a proper garden. Roots and torn earth was scattered all around, with exception of several stones that lay in the ground directly in front of Mabel. She leaned down and sighed.

"Well guys," she said, "It's getting bad. I'm... I'm trying to be strong," she said as tears began to fall from her face, "but people want someone I'm not. I... I don't know how to make miracles," she said to the stones. Stan watched her weep, but his concern grew greatly as she lifted one of the stones. "Dipper, what would you do?"

"Wh-what?" Stan gasped.

"You always had something stupidly geeky and smart to get us out of these things... and I'd just jump out a window because it was fun. But," Mabel sobbed as she dropped the stone back to it's stop, next to three other stones, "I need to command and lead. How do I do that?"

"Mabel," Stan tried, aware he could not touch her, but still desperate to ease her. A rumble along the ground stirred the girl before Stan, and she spun around, her eyes sharp and cold once more. She rushed through Stan, and he turned, watching her go as loud gunfire began to rumbled through the air.

"They're here!" someone shouted.

Stan didn't hear the soldier scream. He only saw Mabel pass through the cloaked Ghost and vanish out of sight. Stan marched over to the spirit, and pointed behind him. "What's with those stones?" he demanded. The spirit said nothing. "Tell me!" Stan shouted. "Why is she acting like Dipper's not around!? Dipper's a thinker and a nerd, but he's tougher than... than..." Stan reached out to grasp the Ghost, and found the fabric cold and uncompromisingly course, "Show me where Dipper is!"

The explosions and combat happening around Stan was sucked away. The world around him warped and darkened for a moment. When Stan let go of the phantom he was deep in the woods, far away from the Northwest Mansion. He knew these woods too well. These were the woods he woke up to every day and made a small fortune to every evening. Stan turned around and gasped.

He was looking right at the Mystery Manor: totally in ruins.

The roof had caved in and the windows had shattered. Cracks in the earth surrounding the building told Stan that whatever had happened here came from under the earth... where he knew a certain undisturbed portal remained. Stan turned back to the spirit.

"What happened here? Someone got to the portal? Why? What did they do!?"

The spirit lifted it's arm again and pointed behind Stan with a finger. Rotating back around, Stan saw the direction the spirit pointed to. There was a round of earth nearby the corners of the building. Stan blinked. His mind begged him not to look any closer, his heart ached he would just wake up and leave this troubling dream in the past. His feet, on the other hand, pushed him closer, step by step.

Rounding the corner, his eyes fell onto the first of three graves. Stan fell to his knees as he read the first name.

Soos.

"No," Stan shuffled closer, dragging his knees against the dirt as he pulled himself closer, "no Soos, you're not supposed to die for me. Not really!" Stan shouted at the grave. "I'd take one for you over... over this! You still have so much to learn... so much to care for..."

The spirit drifted over, and pointed to the next grave. Stan would not lift his head. He didn't want to see any further. This was the end of his ability to suffer and see others die at his future. Yet the cold behind him beckoned silently. Stan lifted his eyes and turned them to the right, and instantly he felt all the air rush out of his lungs as he bellowed.

Dipper.

"No! No! NO!" Stan shook his head as struck the mound of dirt before him. "This isn't what- not your- never you!" Stan roared as he felt his throat tear and struggle to keep in pace with the pain in his chest. "He was never supposed to go before me," Stan said, looking up the specter, "outlive me, outsmart me, out-tough me. He was going to be the best kid I had ever seen... and this? This can't be what happens, I-"

The Ghost of Summerween Yet to Come pointed again to the right. Numb to the world he watched, Stan looked over quickly.

He hadn't been wrong- he wouldn't outlive Dipper.

Stan.

His name rested on the third plank of wood stuffed into the dirt. Stan barely processed the name as anything other than symbols on wood. It was just a surreal dream made by an angry martial artist. Yet Stan could feel the truth of what he saw. Somehow, this wasn't just a dream- it was a vision of what could be. He spun around, still on his knees.

"Tell me this is all just to scare me," Stan begged it, which peered down at him, "tell me that I'm just being scared to be a better person- that if I don't change, this still wouldn't happen. I'll do it, but I can't believe that this- any of this- is actually possible!"

A loud shout behind Stan called him to his feet. A figure rushed out from the brush, red hair flipping behind her as she ran. Torn and ragged clothing, and missing a hat, the woman was regardless noticed and recognized by Stan.

"Wendy!" Stan shouted.

From behind her, a figure jumped high into the air and crashed down onto of her, jumping nearly a hundred feet in a single leap. As Wendy crashed to the dirt with a ground-shaking thud, she gasped and screamed, clawing at the dirt in front of her to get away from...

Stan gasped as he saw who stood atop her, pushing a bone-crushing step into her back.

"You have run from myself and my partner for too long, Wendy," Uki-Dohth said, a deathly fire in his eyes. "Isn't that right?" he called over his shoulder as another person stepped out of the foliage, stretching his fingers. The Warlock, Graupner, stepped out with a cruel intended grin.

"Indeed. What do you have to say for yourself, huh?" Graupner asked Wendy as he stepped in front of her. She screamed and reached out to his feet, desperate to claw at his feet. "See, Dohth?" Graupner told his comrade, and then stomped hard onto Wendy's fingers. She screamed as the Warlock continued, "the power of the mind. Without it, humans are just wild animals."

"Her condition is a liability," Yuki told the Warlock, "and while she may be feral, I believe we aught not let her leave again."

"I agree," the warlock said. He took a long, pleasant sigh, and clicked his tongue, "gosh, having that curse lifted is more than nice," he then looked down to Wendy, and squatted before her, "more than could be said about you, huh? Can you even say a thing now? Aside from-"

Wendy snarled and shrieked at him. The Warlock nodded and snapped his hand out, grasping her jaw and turning it to the shack.

"Now, watch, Corduroy," The Warlock said, as with his free hand he snapped his fingers, and black flames combusted into existence, "as I take away your last, true, pure memory. Say goodbye to the shed-"

"Shack," Yuki corrected him.

"...whatever," the Warlock rolled his eyes, and lazily tossed the ball of black flame at the building. Stan gasped and reached out, trying to catch the fire, but it passed right through his hand. Hitting the wall of the building, the black flames spread out quickly and soon, the entire remains were emitting violet burning embers. Wendy screamed and shrieked as she was forced to watch, and Stan turned his attention to her.

"Let go of her Yuki!" Stan demanded, rushing over to the Alien. Yuki made no register of hearing him, only watching the flames grow higher. "You!" he pointed to the Warlock, "LET GO OF HER!"

"Now, let's end this game of yours, Wendy, huh?" Graupner said to Wendy, as the same ball of black flame appeared in his hand. Stan gasped and dived forward, desperate to knock him away. He passed through them all and landed roughly in the dirt.

"NO! LET HER-"

Screams and crackling fire were all that he heard behind him, and Stan could not turn around.

"And so, one less problem to deal with," the voice of the Warlock said aloud, "Dohth, we should keep moving."

"We shall. Let me take my last gaze upon the ruins, and I shall catch up to you," Yuki's voice commanded Stan to turn and walk away, towards the spirit. The cold, heartless spirit who had brought him all this horror. As he stared into the hood, not much taller than he was, he heard the footsteps of someone passing by him.

Yuki had stepped to the graves, as the horrible black fire spread to the rest of the building, consuming it all. His purple eyes blazed as terribly as he glared down to the earth.

"Soos... you were kind to me. Misguided and foolish, but I cannot look down on an inferior species. I have since learned of your human short-sightedness, and I forgive you. Your heart was not a bad one," Yuki told the grave, and then looked to Dipper's. His lip curled.

"No. You were always wrong. Humans can learn? They just need a push? Indeed. They need to push others. Your human race is all savage-like underneath this guise of clothing and caring. Graupner, even flawed as you were in his hubris, still has a better grasp on the reality of being human. A reality _I_," Yuki snarled at the earth, "will perfectly adapt to."

Then his gaze turned to Stans, and as the building fell to the earth, he laughed.

"Here it is, Stanley. The last memory of you, and the second to last of your kind. Now," Yuki reached down and plucked all three planks of wood deeply buried into the dirt out with little strain," here is what will remain of you." Yuki flicked the wooden planks into the fire. "Nothing but dirt."

As Stan watched this horrible version of Yuki march away, he gasped and held his chest.

"I can't take this!" he declared, and grasped the robes of the Ghost again, "take me back! I don't want this future! Anything you can do to take me back, I'll take it! I promise I'll change! I can't have this happen to these people! Yuki, the twins, Soos, Wendy- all of them deserve a better future than this! I don't want them hurt so badly! TAKE ME BACK!" he shouted his loudest, "I HAVE TO CHANGE THIS FROM HAPPENING! I'LL REMEMBER THE SPIRIT OF SUMMERWEEN! TO USE IT FOR GOOD AND-"

A hand reached out and put itself on Stan's shoulder. When he looked over to the hand, Stan counter six fingers.

Then the robes fell atop him, collapsing on him like an avalanche of rough, cloth. Stan gasped and shouted, desperate to untangle himself from the ethereal shackles now tied around him. A moment later, he tossed his blankets to the floor off his bed.

Stan gasped. There was light pouring in through the window. Birds were chirping. People were chatting animatedly in the gift shop less than fifty feet away, and Stan could hear Soos, good hearted wonderful Soos talking with customers.

Stan gasped and laughed. He laughed again. The terror was over. He was free. Free to do exactly what he had promised those spirits! Grabbing his glasses, he leapt out of bed, slid on the floor, and landed on his rear with a painful smack. His glasses flew off his head, and one of the lenses cracked on the floor.

"Whatever!" Stan declared as he reached over and put them back on. His vision? Not perfect, but the day was! It was Summerween! And the future had not yet come to pass!

Stan leapt to his feet, wrapping his own robe around his body as he wrenched open the door and flew past the twins, descending down the stairs sleepily. As they gasped, calling after Stan, he slid into the room with Soos, who spun and gasped.

"Mister Pines, you need more than a robe to-" he started.

Stan gasped, and reached around Soos, embracing him in a large hug.

"Uh... well, I guess you don't need a robe for that, do you?" Soos chuckled.

"Heck no, you don't!" Stan declared, and he whipped around. Customers were looking at him worriedly. He was without a real shirt- only in his boxers and wife-beater with his robe. Yet he grinned and tossed his arms into the air, completely oblivious to the stares directed at him.

"For one day only- all items in the shop are half off!" he roared. The crowd gasped and applauded, leaving Stan to cheer loudly as Soos gasped, and spun him around.

"Mister Pines, you always told me to do this in case this happens, but what's your brother's name?" Soos asked, looking at his boss dead in the eyes.

"Stanford! I miss the old dork!"

Soos gasped and stepped back. "Unless you've been replaced by a super-cheerful and super-memory stealing clone, it's really you! But Sir, what's with the deals?" he asked as people began to grab items from all over the shop, and bring them to the counter.

"Soos! It's Summerween! We need to celebrate the fullest of life! That's what it was always about, after all!" he roared. Out of the corner of his eye, Stan spotted the twins. Their mouths had fallen out completely as they stared at him. Yuki was behind them as well, shocked and concerned. "And you two!" he pointed and rushed at the twins. Mabel squeaked and rushed behind Dipper.

Stan targeted the boy first. Grabbing him into a neck hold and giving a heck of a noogie Dipper wouldn't soon forget, Stan laughed and cackled his loudest he had in a long, long time. Dipper grunted and groaned. "Let go of me, Grunkle Stan! OW!"

"Ah, you two," Stan said as he reached over and checked Mabel's scalp, which was health and growing hair still, "ah, you two. You two are a wonderful pair of people, you know that?"

"Mister Pines, is everything quite alright?" Yuki asked.

Stan glared at him. "No!" Stan barked, pushing past the twins, "as a matter of fact, everything is not all right!" Yuki gulped as Stan towered over him. In the guise of his harsh, angry self, Stan cracked a grin. "I think someone isn't ready for the holiday, and only has a day to get ready."

"W-what?" Yuki asked.

"Wait, Grunkle Stan," Dipper asked, stepping in sight of his grand uncle, "are you saying-"

"I'm saying you two have only twelve hours to get Yuki here a full costume and settled up for tonight's fun, because he get's the whole day off!" Stan declared, nearly jumping into the air.

"Who are you?" Mabel asked, her mouth twitching as she watched her Grand Uncle. He stopped smiling and glared at her.

"Fine. How about only half a day?" he told her. Mabel gasped and shook her head.

"Twelve hours is fine!" she said.

"Mister Pines," Yuki said, his voice cracking as he slowly grew back a smile, reaching out to Stan with a hand, "I- I don't know what to-"

"Ahh, shuddup. I just figure, you know what the heck. It's a holiday. Do crazy stuff, fall behind on work, and most importantly, be irresponsible," Stan told them with a bored wave of his hand as he dismissed Yuki. "Just make sure you're done by tomorrow morning, got it?"

"Yes sir!" Yuki smiled and nodded.

"We need to grab our wallets!" Dipper told Mabel, "we've got the get him candy and-"

"A costume!" Mabel finished, and the twins both grabbed Yuki by the arms, and marched away with him, nearly dragging him along the floor with their speed. Stan laughed, feeling a strong sense of déjà-vu.

"So, some things do pass along with time," Stan chuckled. Soos walked up next to him, eyeing him still nervously. "I'm fine, Soos. Just had a dream that kind of woke me up."

"I'll say. I've never seen you so... uh... giving?" Soos tried.

"The word is 'nice', Soos, you can use the word nice," Stan told him. Soos shrugged.

"You're always nice to me, Mister Pines," Soos said. Stan gave him a long, hard look, realizing just then and there how much he appreciated Soos.

"No. You're the one who's always nice," Stan told him, putting a hand on Soos's shoulder. Soos's cheecks went deep red, and he gasped. Stan grinned. "Now, go help the customers. Wendy's lazy butt isn't here, so I need you working the cash register until the rush is done- or heck, at least until noon. Whichever comes first. I've got someone to speak to."

"Y-you got it, M-Mister Pines," Soos stumbled for words as he walked over to behind the counter and began to charge people for their merchandise.

Stan sighed, and adjusted his cracked glasses. Stepping past the still mildly confused costumers, he strode out of the building, and made a sharp turn to the left. Marching his hardened against the wooden boards, Stan walked right over to none other than Arline Hirsh's room. With a quick adjustment of his robe, he cleared his throat and knocked.

Opposite to the opening previous in Stan's nighttime adventure, the door was opened quickly, and Arline peered out, already fully dressed. She still bore the look of confusion, especially when she saw Stan at her door.

"This is a record for earliest you wanted your money, Stanley," Arline told him as she opened the door fully.

"Hah. Right. You can hold onto that for now," Stan told her as he shrugged. Arline blinked.

"Come again?"

"What? Did you lose hearing just now?" he barked at her, "I said don't pay it today!"

"Uh... okay," Arline stared at him, uncertain to what kind of game or scheme he had cooking. "So then, what do you want? I can't help but think you're not here on a polite stop; making sure your paying customers are still here."

"Can't say I am. I'm here to say... thank you."

"What?"

"I said THANK YOU!" Stan roared. Arline backed up, waving her hand in front of her nose. "Seriously? Deaf much? You might want to work on that one."

"Thank me for what?" Arline demanded, "you're not the kind of person who just thanks people for... no reason that didn't benefit you first."

"You're right again. I'm going to repeat this one, so listen carefully," Stan told her as he leaned closer, glaring at her as he did, "I don't like you. Not really. I think you're here for something other than what you say, and if I find out what, don't think I'll be the first one to wave the truth around like a flag."

"Gee, odd thing to thank me for," Arline told him.

"But... while you've been here, you have kept my grandkids safer than they probably would have been," Stan grumbled, "and... you know, I can't say I'm not thankful for that. So... yeah."

Arline stared at him, utterly taken of her words. He had been sincere. Absolutely sincere about the thank you. He had delivered it in a very double-handed way, but considering the amount of flak he had thrown at her up until that point, Arline was convinced it was a losing battle to try making friends with him.

"Anyway. Happy Summerween," Stan shrugged and turned, leaving Arline behind.

She watched him walk around the corner, presumably to head back inside. As she did, she shook herself clear of the daze he had put her in. He had actually thanked her. That... was unreal.

Maybe... just maybe... three spirits _had_ come and haunted him. Changed his ways, and reminded him what it meant to be a good person.

"Nah, that's stupid," Arline told herself aloud as she gave the thought a second self-opinion. With a confused shrug, she stepped back inside, and closed the door.

* * *

And there you have it. A Summerween Carol was had, and Grunkle Stan was reminded that... it's okay not to be tough 100% of the time. As we should all know that. And stuff. And this was chapter 40!? WHAT?! Wow... well, here's to over half a year with this series. I couldn't have made it without your support guys. :)

Remember, the future is spooky.

Next Episode; Summerween Returns. Hold onto your butts, my friends.

(A giant, hairy and detached butt falls onto EZB, crushing him under it's weight.)

* * *

**Lq Prrqoljkw duh vhfuhwv odlg eduh. Pbvwhulhv xqghu uhg klglqj? Qr orqjhu gduh.**

**-AND-**

**15-9, 2-1-8 8-21-13-2-21-7.**


	41. Summerween Returns: Part 1

Waddles the pig had not seen such excitement in his residence in a long, long time. He had not heard such ruckus and commotion since his return to the building in the woods. He had, however, seen Mabel and Dipper run about in costumes previously in the middle of summer. That wasn't too odd for the pig to cope with.

Waddles snorted as he stepped about outside, passing around Stan as he fixed on of his last decorations to the Mystery Manor.

"There," the old man said to himself as he stood up, brushing his hands off once another, "another night of thrills, chills, and spills. Of candy! Hah!" he turned to the pig below him, "you excited too?"

Waddles oinked.

"Excactly," Stan grinned as he examined the total decorations of the outdoors.

Standing back and looking around the building, Grunkle Stan marveled in his handiwork. Without Soos for half the day, as the handyman had previous engagements to take care of past noon, Stan himself had climbed all over the building with wire, hammer, nails, and rows of lights. Now the entire building streamed of red, green, black and orange. Several melons had been cut and carved already, and even more faux spider web had been utilized than the year before. The families staying by had already expressed their amazement at Stan, who let all the pride soak in. As the dying sunlight caressed the tops of the trees and orange sky slowly became blue, Stan grinned. He still had it.

Ahead of him, Stan spotted the gift shop door pop open, and out quickly rushed a figure in brown robes. Mabel spun from her sprint, and called at the building, "Come on you slow pokes! The force may not be impatient, but I want to go to this party! Hurry up!"

"Calm down Mabel," Dipper called, who followed his sister in darker robes and had slicked his hair slightly back. "The party just started- we're not missing much."

"Except for the start," she said, "that one part of the party which everyone gets the vibe for the rest of the evening! Super important, dorkus-maximus!"

"Calling her brother a dork going to a summerween party wearing a bathrobe. Classic," Grunkle Stan noted as he approached them, Waddles in tow. As Mabel turned around, Stan did a double take- Mabel had a whole lot of facial hair- well groomed, light brown facial hair. "Robe and a beard? Who's the dork now?"

"More like 'who's the dude'? And shush heretic," Mabel spun and stuck her tongue out at him. "You're not even in a costume! How dare you speak to me like that?"

"Yeah, what gives, Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked as he stepped next to his sister, giving Grunkle Stan a very clear sight to a drawn scar across his right eye.

"I'm upping the game around here," Grunkle Stan told them as he leaned in, "this year's fright level is going to a new high!"

"So... you're not wearing a costume at all?" Dipper asked, a grin forming.

"I mean, just having him show off his back would scare most people," Mabel snickered as she and Dipper laughed. Stan glared at them.

"Right. No- I need something undefined and adaptable. So I have a modular costume!" he told them, holding out his suit out as he wove his arms into the air, "press one small button here or there, and something horrifying happens! That way I don't waste my best scares on brats constantly."

"Sounds like you, Stanley," Arline's voice called from the wrap around porch. The three turned and spotted her as she leaned on one of the supports for the weather roof. "Cheap until you get your kick out of it."

"Out to steal my thunder again," Stan retorted. Arline merely rolled her eyes. "What do you want?" he asked her.

"Just seeing the twins," she told him with a sigh, "because if I'm not mistaken, I'm looking at two jedi."

"HAH!" Dipper clapped his hands together and pointed at Mabel.

"Yeah, yeah, you were right. Fine, Space-trio wasn't a bad idea," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"I take it there's a story to this?" Arline asked as she landed next to waddles, bent down and scratched at his ears.

"Well, Dipper and I were exchanging ideas for a while now," Mabel admitted, "and only today did we realize that we should try finding something that could work with three people instead of two. You know, since Yuki is coming with us," Mabel pointed out.

"So Mabel wanted to do zombified foods," Dipper said, "which isn't such a bad idea, but Yuki got really confused on the premise."

"But he understands... Jedi?" Arline asked.

"Yeah, I'm a little lost there too," Grunkle Stan admitted as Arline stood back up.

"See for yourself," Dipper turned with Mabel in unison as they pointed to the gift shop door. The master martial artist and the master of fright both turned and spotted, standing in the doorway, an astronaut.

"Yuki's costume is... yuki's only actual clothes?" Stan asked.

"That's Yuki's clothes?" Arline gasped.

"What is left of it," Yuki commented, quietly stepping out and towards them in small, timid steps, "the original visor was cracked. I had to remove it for saftey, but the rest is entirely uncompromised. As it turns out, Dipper and Mabel believe that the quality of this suit and the fabrication of a story will provide ample 'room to breathe' while I attend this party with them."

"I'll say," Arline nodded, reaching over and touching some of the suit material, "that's super cool stuff! I'm touching alien gear!"

"Well, if he's going in his street clothes, why aren't you two going old school sci-fi stuff?" Grunkle Stan asked, "skin tight pink latex clothes and... yeah. That stuff?"

"Because that's expensive, and this still works," Dipper answered, "Jedi, while not alien looking, aren't from our galaxy. That's pretty sci-fi."

"So," Arline grinned, pointing to the two of them, "we've got Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, do we?"

"Yeah!" Mabel leapt into the air, "I knew they'd get it."

"Wait, wait, wait," Stan lifted his hand, "that's not what either of them look like!"

"What are you talking about?" Dipper placed his knuckles on his hips.

"Well for starters, Obi-Wan Kenobi is my age," Stan declared, "and Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader! No one knows what he looked like as a young jedi-"

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel interrupted him, "you do know that there are movies that were made after the first three, right?"

"Huh?"

"And that those movies," Dipper continued, "were prequels?"

Grunkle Stan's face went blank. The other five around him watched as his eyes stared deeply into the distance between him and his building. Somewhere, deep inside Stanley Pines brain, his entire world, nay existence, had been shaken to its core.

"And what about you, Miss Hirsh?" Yuki inquired. "What costume shall you be donning?" She shrugged.

"Well, I wouldn't want to use my costume until entirely necessary. It's pretty crazy," she added. Stan barked once at her, pointing at her face.

"So that little quip about me not using a 'real costume' was just cover for you so that you wouldn't have to explain it first," He called her out, and Arlie sighed.

"Hardly. I mean, whatever you've got planned probably isn't nearly as good as mine," she admitted.

Sta's mouth dropped, and he laughed slowly. "You- you want me to do this, huh?"

"Sorry? Do what?" Arline asked, fluttering her eyelashes as she turned back to him.

"Alright you punk-wannabe," Grunkle Stan sized her up as he fully faced her," let's make a real bargain out of this one."

"Ohh, can't pass on that one, now can I?" Arline asked him. "So, what's on the table?"

"Answers," Grunkle Stan demanded, "I scare more people than you, in any way I can manage, and you tell why you're really here."

"Grunkle Stan, not this again," Mabel groaned.

"I don't care if you trust her Mabel," Stan called to her, and his glare tightened on Arline, "but I've got a sneaking feeling she isn't telling us everything." Arline remained unchanged her posture as she listened to him.

"Fine, I'll tell you whatever," she promised, "but if I win, you explain yourself to me. I know for a fact that you've got something else going on in your head that lets you reason how much you dislike me," she rounded on him, "and if I win, you tell me the truth."

"Hah! Aside from your stupid face?" Stan barked, "sure, whatever."

"Deal," Arline extended her hand.

"Deal," Grunkle Stan shook it, and the two stood before one another, slowly shaking their hands as they locked gazes.

"And on that note, I think we need to be going," Dipper added with a look to Mabel.

"Yeah. May the force be with you, nerds," Mabel bowed as she, Dipper, and Yuki stepped away. Waddles made to follow, and Mabel bent down and smiled. "Aww, sorry buddy. You know at parties people could step on you," she told him. Waddles snorted, and sat down. "There you go. Do me a favor though, okay?" she asked the pig, who tilted his head to the side. "Watch those two and make sure they don't go crazy trying to out-do one another, right?" Mabel asked. Waddles bent forward and bopped his nose against her cheek. "Daww, you adorable pink spotted squishy love-ball!" She said, giving the big a quick, crushing squeeze.

Finally she let the pig down and ran into the passenger seat aside Dipper. Yuki had removed his helmet in the back, else he would have completely blocked Dipper's rear mirror. The car started, and Dipper was about to reverse when a knock came from his window. He lowered it, finding Grunkle Stan staring at him.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Let's say gnomes invade the manor tonight. Should I extend the call to the Northwests to get you down here?" Stan asked.

Dipper rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Just call my cell phone. Besides, the party isn't at the Northwest Mansion this year. Or their Yacht. Or their- forget it. It's at Zander Maximillion's place."

"You're having a party at the old Gleeful home?" Stan asked him.

"He did a whole lot of renovating on it," Mabel added, "it looks wonderful now."

"Heh. Whatever. Just keep your phone on you in case something happens, will ya?" Stan told him. Dipper nodded, and finally reversed the car, leaving Grunkle Stan, Waddles the Pig, and a retreating Arline behind.

"I must thank you two again," Yuki quietly mentioned as they left the gravely driveway and entered the main road. "Without your guidance, I may have been lost to assumption and older clauses of the holiday."

"Don't thank us, Yuki," Mabel told him, craning back as she played with her moustache, "after all, the ways of the force speak of benevolence and kindness. It was only our duty to help you."

"Great. She's getting into character," Dipper mumbled.

"Anakin, you must remember patience," Mabel turned to him, "otherwise your actions will guide you, not the other way around."

"I hope Soos is playing the music really loudly," Dipper said, ignoring his sister's attempt at role-play.

"Soos is at the party?" Yuki inquired.

"Yes," Mabel answered, lowering her voice and softening it out, "he will be providing musical accompaniment, and will be accompanied by one 'Melody'."

"Melody is going to be there?" Dipper gasped, looking at Mabel.

"Who is Melody?" Yuki asked.

"Soos's future wife," Mabel wisely said.

"No, well, I mean, you never kn-" Dipper stalled himself and shook his head, "she's Soos's girlfriend. They've been doing an distant relationship for a while now. I don't know how they do it, but they're still together after three years."

"Affection and kindness," Mabel nodded, "while attachment is forbidden in the Jedi ways, I must admit the two are more than- GAH!" Mabel pulled at the hair on her head under her robe, forgoing all attempts at being wise, "WHO AM I KIDDING!? They're adorable!"

The rest of the ride was a pleasant mix of talk, either about Yuki's excitement, the twins excitement for Yuki, or the holiday excitement in general. Mabel flipped back and forth between her character and herself, leaving only her voice as an indication to when she wasn't trying to be a Jedi. Given fifteen minutes of chat, Dipper found himself a spot some two hundred feet away from the home, and parked. Mabe, who's nerves began to grow the closer she go to the well lit and extremely decorated home, could barely speak.

"Ohgosh, doyouthinkthatZander'scostumewillbesupercool?" she roared through her words, "ormaybebecausehe'sjuststartingthisholidaytoothatmaybehe'sgoingtotakeiteasy?"

"MABEL!" Dipper grabbed her as they found themselves at the path that lead to the front door, "breathe." She took a very small, rapid breath. "Slower," Dipper eased her. She followed suit and finally nodded. "If you're going to want to talk to him, maybe being understood by basic human beings is a start."

"I would concur with Dipper's assesment," Yuki grinned, "being understood at all is a great start in communication."

"Okay, I'm better," Mabel nodded with a quick sigh.

"Okay. To the party," Dipper grinned, and lead the walk forward. The closer to the front door, the louder the reverberation of the inside party got. The windows all had lit candles and drapes spilled around, and half-unearthed coffins were stuck in the gardens around them. "Bad memories," Dipper said as he shuddered, looking at one of the coffins in the dirt.

"Oh c'mon Dipper," Mabel scolded him, "it's just decoration. No actual live zombies are here."

"Live zombies?" he asked her. Her response was to push him further ahead.

At the front door, Dipper knocked loudly, as he wasn't sure if anyone would be able to hear him from the ruckus inside. To his amazement, only a couple of seconds later, the door swung open, revealed a blonde woman in a torn work suit and dress, but had patches of fur all up her legs and arms.

"I was wondering if you two would show up," Pacifica said as she held the door.

"Hi Pacifica!" Mabel cheered.

"Hey," Dipper also waved.

"Well, c'mon in you- oh!" she gasped as Yuki turned around, having been staring at the decorations behind him, "Yuki! I didn't know you'd be coming!"

"This is my first holiday!" he told her. Dipper back-handed his stomach, and Yuki coughed. "Ugh- Oh- first American Holiday. Yes. That," Yuki then spied her costume. He grinned, and then laughed.

"W-what?" Pacifica asked.

"She-Wolf! I know of this series!" Yuki told her, "it was televised out in... Japan," Yuki caught the sideways glance of the twins. "It is a great choice, and you have done a good job making it yours."

"Thanks! I love your 'Plant-Spaceman' look," Pacifica told him, eying his actual leafs on his head, "very retro of you."

"That does... describe me well," Yuki sighed with a half grin, "retro."

"Well!" Pacifica reached between the twins and pulled him inside, "this means you're stuck with me for the evening."

"Huh?"

"Well, who else is going to give you a personal tour of everything a Summerween party done right has to offer?" Pacifica told him.

"That would be my job?"

The twins turned towards the kitchen, where various individuals gathered food from plates and snack bars. Zander Maximillion strode forward , wearing an elborate and Victorian like set-up. Long crimson jacket, wide-brimmed hat of matching color, and an undergarment of solid black suit with a red tie that had not one, but two bows.

"So the mystery twins arrive, to save the party from any evil that might befall it," Zander said in a sinister voice as he approached them, his hair all but tied up into his hat. His eyes now were red, and when Dipper and Mabel said nothing, he laughed. "Yes! I told you this would work Pacifica," he said, grinning.

"Fine, whatever, old school still has it a little, I guess," she grumbled.

"Heck yes it does," Mabel nearly groaned as she sized up Zander. Dipper whipped to stare at her, and she fixed her tone, "I-I mean, it's wonderful! Count Maximillion!"

"Yeah, it really rocks dude," Dipper added.

"Thank you, Master Kenobi, Master Skywalker," Zander bowed to them, showing off his fanged teeth. "Hey Pacifica, keep at the door for now," he told the blonde, who groaned. "C'mon. Just for a few minutes, then you can dance with Yuki."

"I never said- that's just you... fine," Pacifica said, looking rapidly between those around her and Yuki as her face grew red.

"Come," Zander motioned for the three to follow. The twins each gave Pacifica a apologetic glance, and Yuki smiled to her happily. "In here," Zander pointed, "all the fixings you could possibly want during a Summerween party! Watermelon drinks, hotdog zombies, Frankenstein tarts-"

"You've got a ton," Mabel awed as she looked at the ten foot long table, filled to the brim with unique foods.

"Well, Pacifica didn't like my style of shopping, so I let her take over. In retrospect, she really knows how to host parties," Zander scratched his chin and smiled.

"She's sort of a veteran about it," Dipper shrugged.

"That she is. I'll let you guys come back to food after this," Zander again motioned for them to follow. "Officers," Zander nodded to the sheriff and deputy, who had come to the party dressed as a conjoined dragon. They were too busy sampling each other's food to notice, and Zander chuckled. "So in here," Zander pointed to his once-time living room, "is the hall of horror!"

The many white couches and seats had been swapped out for scary looking cobweb-covered seats, mostly taken by a costumed individual. All those sitting faced away towards the uncovered wall, which caught the projections of black and white horror flicks. Dipper grinned in appreciation as he knew exactly which sequel of 'Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite!' was being shown.

"So if you want to take a break from the backyard and eat, boom," Zander pointed to the movies, "you got the freak shows to do so. Now I got to show you to my second employee of the evening."

"You've got two?" Mabel asked.

"Of course he does," Dipper replied, "Soos is working here tonight."

"Yup," Zander nodded as he stepped outside the ribbon covered door, and out to the balcony overlooking the backyard.

No less than a hundred people danced to their fullest as remix of widely known horror theme played over huge speakers, all tied to trees in the woods. As Zander lead them around, the three quickly spotted Tyler, who was easily the most into the beat as he danced his hardest. Lazy Susan bumped around awkwardly as she pointed to the sky, calling out happily.

"And boom- zombie DJ," Zander stopped, letting the three file past him.

"Soos!" The twins yelled.

"Sup dudes!"

Soos was busy at the panel of the records, which he mixed and altered at his heart's pleasure. He was pale and had sickly dark eye sockets, a sight that actually caused quite a stir for the twins, as they had seen a similar look to Soos once, long ago.

"Soos, are you a zombie for Summerween?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah hambone!" Soos told them, "I figure I actually _know_ what it's like, you know, being a member of the undead. So, when I'm off duty, I can perfectly replicate what it was like. So it's kind of an easy way to slip into a costume, dawg. Oh!" he exclaimed, and turned his head, "Melody! The twins are here!"

Pushing out from the dance after a few moments, a girl with fake blood splashed over her face and shirt stepped out. "Oh my god, you two got really tall!" she exclaimed, and walked over, offering her left hand to them ,"nice to meet you two again. I'm Melody."

"We remember you," Dipper said, and awkwardly shook her left hand, "what's with the left handshake?"

"Well," Melody grinned, and lifted her right arm. Dipper gasped and leapt back, as a chainsaw was in place instead of her hand. "Soos's idea. Groovy, isn't it?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Dang right it is!" Soos added.

"Alright you three," Zander told the twins and Yuki, "I'm going to relieve Pacifica so she can hang with you lot. If you need me, I'll be inside the house."

"T-thanks Zander!" Mabel called as the vampire-looking man strode away.

"So, who's your friend?" Melody asked, also extending her left hand to Yuki, "I'm Melody."

"Greetings Melody, I am Uki-Dohth. Soos has informed me of your pleasantness. It is good to note," he added, "he did not exaggerate at all."

"Hahah, thanks," Melody chuckled, "and nice 'in-character' stuff you've got going on. You must love vintage sci-fi movies."

"Uhh..." Yuki looked away.

"Soos, honey," Melody turned to Soos, "you want me to grab some food for you?"

"Ah, get me some of those basketville hounds. Those smoked hotdogs are the best!" Soos begged. Melody chuckled and nodded. With a wink and grin to the three before her, she started her climbing through the dancing crowd.

"She's so sweet," Mabel said with a small coo.

"Speaking of sweet, I'm kinda digging the idea of grabbing some of those candies from the kitchen," Dipper admitted.

"But we should wait for Pacifica," Mabel told him, "so she doesn't wander around looking for us."

"Indeed," Yuki nodded. "The sweets can wait."

"Fine, fine," Dipper nodded, "hey Soos! How's the night been?"

"Party never stops, dude!" Soos called back, "I'm thinking of doing a dance competition- dance like your favorite horror monster the best and you win a prize! I have no idea what, but something like that," Soos shrugged, and continued to play music.

"Hey!" Pacifica leapt past a duo of dances and landed next to the group. "Finally. Zander thinks I need experience in everything these days, so he makes me do everything it seems."

"Isn't he just your music teacher?" Dipper asked. Pacifica looked to the three, and shrugged. "No?"

"He is," she admitted, "but, uh... I'm not really allowed back home... yet."

"What?!" Yuki and Mabel gasped as Dipper sighed.

"Dang," he said, putting an arm on her shoulder. "How bad is it this time?"

"This time?" Yuki gasped, "this is not the first instance of abandonment?"

Pacifica shook her head. "Last time the twins were here, I kind of directly disobeyed them, and they decided that booting me out of the house for two weeks would teach me a lesson, or something," she admitted, "and they're doing it again. I'll be able to go home in, uh, two weeks."

"That is improper!" Yuki declared angrily, "discipline is one thing, abandonment is another! Should they seek to employ a method of teaching, 'throwing you to the wilds'," Yuki used his fingers for quotes, "is not the correct manner!"

"N-no," Pacifica blinked as she stared at Yuki, "I... guess it isn't. Hey," she shook her head, "Yuki, you want to learn how to dance at an American Holiday like this?"

"I would be honored," Yuki grinned, "who shall be my instructor?"

Pacifica burst out laughing, and stumbled forward, grabbing Yuki's hand and pulling him into the crowd. Confused and worried, Yuki glanced back to the twins. They grinned and shrugged, letting him vanish into the crowd.

"She likes him," Mabel said.

"Definitely," Dipper added.

"And... you're okay with it?" Mabel asked, looking to Dipper. Dipper gave the idea of someone else with Pacifica a thought, only to shrug again.

"I kind of thought that she'd keep dating after me. So, no, not really bothered or anything," he told her. As Mabel nodded and grinned, Dipper spotted someone in the crowd. "Hey, isn't that one of Wendy's friends?" he asked Mabel as he pointed.

"Yeah! That's... uh... starts with a 'T'?"

"Not Tambry," Dipper told her.

"Duh, I know what Tambry looks like. Thompson, his name is Thompson!"

The twins began to move over towards them, ready to greet them happily and speak to Wendy. Yet as they approached, the twins saw the entire group. There was Nate, the tatooed one, Lee, the tall lanky guy, and Tambry. Four of the five. There was no Wendy present.

"Hold up," Dipper said, putting his arm out to stop Mabel, "could be weird."

"Huh?"

"If we just start chatting with them. Didn't Wendy say something about how she's not too close with these guys?" Dipper asked, still a good fifteen feet away from them.

"Oh... yeah... dangit!" Mabel asked, "then where is she? This is the life of the town tonight," Mabel declared, "and she doesn't miss parties!"

"Who?" Someone asked. The twins turned to Zander, who was poking his head out from the doorway.

"Wendy," Dipper asked as he and Mabel stepped up to him, "have you seen her tonight?"

"No, and I have great memory," Zander said as he looked around, "I would remember seeing her here. But so far... no show for W. Corduroy," he mentioned. "Maybe she saw me trying to pick out food and thought it wouldn't be a good idea to come!" Zander chuckled, "I mean, anyone who saw me at the groceries with Pacifica must have been worried!"

"Why?" Mabel asked as Dipper glanced around again.

"Well, I don't really cook at all, Mabel," Zander admitted, "so I don't know what people, uh, need for parties."

"Where is she?" Dipper mumbled, breaking the conversation between the two.

"Maybe you guys should give her a personal extended invitation?" Zander said, "be my convoys?"

"Yeah!" Mabel shouted, "that sounds like a great idea!"

"Wait, we're going to go get her to come to the party?" Dipper inquired.

"Why not?" Zander asked, "It doesn't seem like her, and I'll admit I only know her from you two, but still... I have good instincts about people," Zander admitted.

Mabel looked to her brother, and found the boy in a near state of skulking. His hands were drifting near his rob pockets, and his eyes had drifted down to the floor. She clenched her teeth. Not tonight! Of all nights to get moody and sad: it would not be this one! Not their second favorite holiday!

"Dipper," Mabel grabbed his arm and spun him to face her, "we will go and get Wendy to come. She's our friend, and she'd want to be happy tonight as well!"

"But-"

"No buts, except yours in and then out the other door!" Mabel declared, and pushed Dipper past Zander.

He dived out of their way as Mabel bull-rushed Dipper through the house. As Mabel managed to go through the front door Zander called out after them, "Yo, just come back if you need backup!" He then closed the door behind them just as the wind began to pick up a little.

* * *

Grunkle Stan was ready. Spying through a corner in the front window, Stan noticed the coming group of trick-or-treaters were all about six or seven, making them prime targets of fear. He had waited for this, rubbing his hands together as he chuckled.

Waddles oinked next to him.

"Hey, I got this," Stan told him, "don't tell me what I'm not ready for."

Waddles oinked again.

"Just watch me, got it? I'll show you," Grunkle Stan told him. He then checked his skin, giving it a little tug. A bit tore off, revealing deep red underneath it. His old trick- toilet paper and wax wrap under red-painted skin was about to be unleashed. He lowered his sleeve over the paper as a precaution.

The doorbell rang. Stan grinned his widest. Waddles snorted gently, and Stan pointed at him. "Shh," he said, being quiet himself. He tip-toed to the doorway, and with a stretch of his neck, he opened the door.

"Welcome to the Mystery Manor!" he declared.

"Trick or treat!" the party of six kids all said.

"Wow! Look at you guys- pretty scary, actually," Stan chuckled in his best act, "you know what's even scarier than that is?" he asked them. Most of the kids looked around to one another, uncertain to what they should say. Stan was ready.

"SKIN!" he roared, and then pulled at his face. Years of practice had paid off, and what looked like his face had just been an elaborate wrapping. Huge chunks of would-be skin fell away, revealing bright-red underneath it, painted to look both skeletal and muscular. Four of the kids screamed instantly and fled, and Stan bellowed with laughter. Yet he stopped, as two more kids glared up at him. "Oh come on," Stan bent down to them, "that's genius! How can you not appreciate that!"

"That's an old internet trick, mister," one of them said.

"Dang it, Internet!" Stan declared, holding up a shaking fist to the ceiling, "once again you've-"

THUD.

The two kids jumped as Stan blinked. Arline had landed behind them, clutching her chest. Her face seemed wet- as she sweat and stumbled closer.

"H-help... me-" she begged, "so... hot!" and then screamed.

The two kids screamed as well as Arline exploded with fire, the roaring flame swallowing her up perfectly. The kids by Stan had clearly not seen that done in the internet, and both ran past Arline as she kneeled on the ground, immolated. Stan glared at her, unconcerned for the fire-punching martial artists.

"Hah, fine, so you got two I couldn't," Stan told her as the flames instantly vanished once the kids had gotten far.

"Maybe I'm not so easy to beat as you think?" She told him. Stan grumbled.

"I'll give you that. But easy to beat and not able to beat are different things!" he reminded her. "I'll still win this competition, Hirsh!"

"Time will tell, you old coot," she grinned, and then leapt high into the air, actually making it back onto the rooftop.

"Show off," he grumbled.

Stan jumped- he heard more footsteps coming up the drive way already. Running inside, he slammed the door and began to apply a new lining of toilet paper around his face. He scowled as he considered his luck had she not distracted him. He would have already been inside, and probably already had his make up ready. Then again, had she not jumped down, he may be still dealing with those last two trick or treaters...

Stan checked the window for the status. He growled. They were all a tad bit older- somewhere around ten. One of them even was looking on his cellphone as he walked with his group of four. All the technology, de-sensitizing the kids these days. Stan hated it, but shrugged. He still had a show to put on.

THUD.

Arline startled Stan; she had already jumped down. Stan growled as he looked through the window. She was trying to steal his thunder, was she?!

"He-help me," she asked the group, who had all stopped, watching her.

"Are you okay?" the closest a small girl asked.

"I'm so... hot... burning up," Arline told them.

Before another word could be said, she screamed again, and fire engulfed her the exact same way it had before. She began to screech and scream her best, and Stan had to give it to her- she had a heck of a voice to be able to match the sound of the fire. Then, he laughed- the kids weren't running. They were stunned and panicking.

"Oh my god!" one of them shouted to the friend with the phone. "Do something!"

"I don't know what to do!" he said, "I don't know anything about spontaneous combustion!"

"Call nine-one-one!" the girl screamed.

Stan was ready. No cops would be showing today, not on his watch. "You and me, pig," Stan told Waddles, who nodded. They barreled out of the door, screaming as they ran to the kids. "RUN!" Stan told them, "it's infectious! Some disease makes you burn up! I'm- I'M MELTING!" Stan roared as he peeled his skin off next to Arline's blaze, and Waddles ran by a tree, squealing excitedly.

The kids turned and ran, screaming for their lives. This time it was Stan who stood up grinning and chuckling. Arline cut off the fire as soon as the kids had gone, and she sighed, glancing to Waddles.

"Picking sides, are we?" she asked the pig, who snorted. "Traitor," she grinned.

"He just knows which side feeds him better scraps if he wins," Stan told her.

"Maybe. But best belly scratches are from my side," she told Waddles, who stared at her.

"Either way, Waddles on my side or no," Grunkle Stan told her, "I have this. You're in my town, playing my game, using my rules. What makes you think you have a chance?" he asked her as he ripped off the rest of the used paper.

"I like the odds," she told him, and turned away. "You're going down, old man," she said, and leapt onto the roof again.

"Anything that breaks under your foot, you pay!" he shouted to her.

* * *

"Here we are," Mabel said, after the thirty minute walk to Wendy's home through the on-off wind.

Dipper nodded, and swallowed his fear. Indeed, the Corduroy home- a lob cabin build in the middle of the woods right next to the suburban area. Many mighty pine trees still stood around the home, but Dipper's eyes focused on something not present.

Not a single decoration had been put up. Not a single light, nor melon, nor... anything in the spirit had been hung up this year for the holiday. Dipper looked to Mabel, who seemed to have noticed the same thing.

"Weird, isn't it?" she stated.

"Look," he pointed to a single, dark sign next to a small tree before the house, "it's... what?" Dipper gasped, "it says 'no solicitors, preachers, or Trick-or-Treaters wanted'?"

"Wow. What's up with that?" Mabel asked as she walked past the sign.

"Wait. Maybe I... ugh... _should_ call her first," Dipper admitted, and Mabel grinned.

"Yes, listen to your sister now, about time," Mabel said with glee.

Dipper scowled and lifted his cellphone to his face. Sadly, he looked to the top of his flip-phone screen and found something also mising. "No signal here," he told Mabel.

"Maybe it would have been better to do that when we were walking here, instead of now?" Mabel reminded him.

"Okay, okay, calm down. We should go back and call her then," Dipper said.

"Why?"

"Because Manly Dan will think we're trick or treating if we show up. And I don't want to upset him," Dipper said, "he has a habit of breaking powerline poles with his fist."

"Oh shush, you big baby," Mabel told him, "I'm with you. And he won't hit anything that's cute and girly as I am? Or as girly as you are."

"Funny," Dipper bit at the word as Mabel stepped forward. Dipper did follow, but his mind lingered on the sign behind him. What would happen if they upset Manly Dan. As they met the door, Mabel cleared her throat, and knocked three times. Several loud stomps approached them from the other side, and the door was heaved open.

"What?!" a big, loud, angry, redhead lumberjack demanded.

"Hello, sir!" Mabel told Manly Dan, "we were hoping-"

"What did my sign say!?"

"H-huh?" Mabel crumpled under the sudden accusation.

"WHAT-DID-MY-SIGN-SAY?!" he shouted.

"No trick or treaters," Dipper said quickly.

"Then why are you two trick or treaters still at my front door!?" the Lumberjack growled as he bared down on the twins.

"Because we're not here to trick or treat," Dipper also said as Mabel struggled to find her voice, "we're here to find Wendy." Manly Dan leaned back into the building, his eyes suddenly empty. "Is she home?" Manly Dan's mouth twitched, and scowled.

"Funny. I get it," he told Dipper.

"What's funny?" Mabel asked.

"Is Wendy home. You guys must have nothing better to do if that's your game," Manly Dan told them with a scowl. "You have two minutes to get off my property before I come at your with an AXE-"

"Dad!"

From inside, a boy rushed out, only a few feet shorter than Manly day. Just as wide-chest and red-headed, the teenager was probably a few years older than the twins, but his masculine features had long settled into his face and body. Manly Dan growled and stomped back inside the building, leaving his eldest son to talk to the twins.

"Sorry about that," the teen said, "he just gets cranky today."

"Why?" Dipper asked. The boy said nothing, instead rolling his eyes and looking away. Dipper looked to Mabel, who was exhibiting just as much confusion as he was. What the heck was going on? Had Wendy not only fallen out with her friends, but her family?

"So, uh, sorry to ask you this then," Mabel started again, "but we're looking for Wendy?"

"Oh, that's why-" the boy cut himself off, and put a hand to his face, covering his eyes as he sighed. "So, you'll find her down the street to the right. Then at the end, take a right, then a left, go up the hill, and you'll find her hangout."

"Her hangout? O-okay," Dipper said shakily, "thank you."

"Just... don't come back here and talk to my dad about her, okay?" the teen asked as he slowly closed the door, "and, uh, Happy Summerween."

The twins couldn't get a reply in as the door shut before them. Dipper looked to Mabel. "Do you think her secret-"

"Dipper," Mabel sighed and shook her head as Dipper turned and walked away from the home, "not now."

"Is that she did something to her friends and family?" he stated, "all this time, I thought she was hiding something from us- what if she was hiding it from everyone ELSE!?" he declared as they landed on the street. "What if-"

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted, "we're going to get her to party with us; not interrogate her."

"I wasn't going to," Dipper pouted.

"She still has a secret. Big deal. Oh well. Look, we need to let her be until she's ready to tell us," Mabel said as they walked down the street, aware that they were coming up to the turn in the road, where a poorly bent stop sign was present.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Dipper told his sister.

"Besides," Mabel put an arm on his shoulder gently, "wouldn't it be great if you could dance with her for a bit?"

"Mabel-"

"I'm serious!" Mabel told him strongly as they turned to the right. "I know you, Dipper," Mabel said as she grinned, "under all that serious thoughty stuff, you really have a big, squishy heart for her."

"I don't," Dipper pouted.

"Oh, c'mon," Mabel groaned.

"Not after she lied to us," Dipper sighed, "look, just drop it, okay? She should have fun, but that doesn't mean I want to be in on her fun. Just want to make sure she isn't suffering," Dipper added as he put his hands in his robes.

Mabel shook her head and lead the way. Quickly she spotted the hill and left turn, across the street, that Wendy's brother must have meant. Up the hill, and through a good section of trees, the twins climbed, as Mabel watched her brother with concern.

He still hadn't gotten over the mistrust for Wendy. She still remembered the trouble it had taken, the trials she had gone through that first summer to re-earn his trust after their Grandpa had come through the portal. Dipper had not wanted to share a single secret with her, and it had killed her each time he looked at her with those angry eyes. She wondered if Wendy felt the same- that doing something that hurt Dipper was worth his contiuning anger?

Maybe he could change, and learn to not be so tightly wound up, she reasoned to herself. She had learned to take things more seriously. Sometimes. Not often- but she had learned that.

"Wait," Dipper said as they climbed over the hill.

Mabel came back to her surroundings and gasped. They had been here before.

They were overlooking the once-owned Valentino Graveyards, now over watched by Tallman Harker. Mabel gasped as she and her brother looked at the large black gate before them.

"Gravity Falls Cemetery," Mabel announced. "She... hangs out here?"

"I hope she's secretly not a Goth," Dipper mumbled. Mabel snorted and laughed, which caused his cheeks to flush pink. "I'm serious!"

Mabel nodded, but said nothing. The twins pushed past the high-elevation gates and down the path. Many candles and watermelons had been set up in the cemetery already. Flowers in holders still remained freshly watered, and they moved past the graves.

"Wendy!" Mabel called out, and Dipper gasped. He rushed over, and cupped a hand to her mouthed. "Dbbr," she mumbled through his hand, "whb gbs?"

"One sec," Dipper told her. He looked around, eyes scanning the dim horizon of candles and jackal-melons. When he seemed satisfied, he lifted his hand. "There."

"Dipper, what gives?" she demanded," we want to find her, don't we?" she reminded him heatedly, "how are you thinking we do that if we can't tell her we're here?"

"I just got a feeling, that's all," Dipper told Mabel.

"Huh?"

"Someone is watching us," Dipper said quietly. Mabel scoffed.

"Like, maybe, Wendy? Hello? Earth to bro-bro?" Mabel scolded him, and Dipper glared back. "Or maybe Tallman Harker?" she added. Dipper was less than satisfied with her answer.

"Let's just look around a bit more," he decided, walking past Mabel with a few deliberate steps. Mabel sighed and followed suit.

The two passed many graves and stones, organized just enough to make great big columns that stretched on for hundreds of feet. Dipper scanned the many graves, and then would quickly look up, hoping for a figure moving in the distance. Nothing so provocative had happened yet, and he grew more frustrated.

"Dipper," Mabel called him over, in a hushed tone. Dipper turned, and found her some twenty feet away, down an row. "I... I spotted something I thought- but it's just-"

"Let me see," Dipper rushed over. He leant next to his sister, and the two of them on their knees read the candle-lit tombstone. Flowers had also been left behind.

Melissa Corduroy.

1966- 2001

May she rest in peace, as her children grow strong in this world in her memory.

"Holy..." Dipper gasped.

"I never knew," Mabel admitted.

Dipper's mind reeled. Wendy never did talk about her home life much. Heck, Dipper recalled once that Wendy had said her family drew her crazy, and was one of the reasons she tried so hard to be chill everywhere else. But... her mother? Dead for twelve years? Dipper had no idea. He wondered if this had something to do with Wendy's secret. Then Mabels' warning words hit him in his head. He could deal with the mystery another day.

He looked to Mabel, ready to leave. Her lips moved silently, as she mouthed words. "What are you doing?" Dipper asked gently.

"Giving her mom a little thank you," Mabel said, and went back to praying.

"For...?" Dipper asked.

"For Wendy being here," Mabel answered, and continued praying. Dipper smiled, proud of being able to call Mabel his sister. Maybe she was a little nuts for thinking Wendy's mother could hear her, but it was enough knowing Mabel would do something like that anyway.

Dipper looked to his sister for just a second longer, and his eyes caught something on the tombstone next to the one they stood next to. Dipper's mouth fell open, and patted his sister's shoulders harshly. "What?" Mabel demanded, "I'm almost-" Dipper pushed her head to turn to the left. "What is-"

Mabel also gasped. The two stood up, brushing off the dirt from their knees. The light of several candles lit the engraved name and date.

Wendy Corduroy

1997-2012

May she rest in piece, and her family always remember her.

The twins shook visibly. It wasn't possible. There wasn't a chance this was real. Mabel actually reached out and touched it, only to recoil. The stone was cold and hard to the touch. She held her hand as her lips trembled.

"If... if she's been..." Dipper said, "then... who have we-"

A rustle behind them caused Mabel to fly onto her feet, hands out in combat stance. Dipper stumbled up, and reach inside his robe, withdrawing his journal. He began to rifle through the pages quickly, begging to find something, anything to help here.

"Dipper, now may not be the time-" Mabel started.

"It could be a ghoul," Dipper said, as he turned passed the page, "no, they stink like corpses, and Wendy smells ni- anyway," Dipper flipped another set of pages, "or what if she's a ghost!?"

"We've touched her!" Mabel told him, as more distant rustling made them panic.

"Then... zombie?" Dipper asked. Mabel said nothing. "They're thin, gangly... if they're smart enough and rise on their own, they can act like normal people and are often mistaken for-"

"No, she's not a zombie!" Mabel told Dipper.

"How could you possibly know that?!" Dipper demanded. His sister rolled her eyes.

"I just know- okay?!" she declared.

"Wendy- she doesn't need to sleep!" Dipper declared, "I bet when I was watching you as a werewolf, it was Wendy who watched me all through the night! Wendy... she never is hurt! Because she's already-" The rustling stopped. Dipper glanced around with Mabel as they struggled to find the source of sound.

"Dipper, what if this is just some crazy prank?" Mabel begged, turning to face him.

"It isn't."

The twins froze.

All the heat of the summer night had been siphoned away by two words, not spoken by either of them. Slowly, they both turned and looked back to the tombstone. Behind the face, just barely in the light, a figure remained in shadow.

"Wendy."

Dipper's words summoned her closer. In the light of the candles, she emerged, and stared at the twins. Her eyes looked so tired, her gaze itself seemed forced to lock on them. She looked down, to her own tombstone, and sighed.

Wendy glanced back up from her own tombstone, and said to the twins, "You found me."

* * *

Happy Summerween. (btw, one month early, but screw it. :p)

-EZB


	42. Summerween Returns: Part 2

Thirty eight. Thirty eight groups of even harder to scare and frighten children, teens, and adolescents had come to the Mystery Manor since Stan and Arline had begun their bargain. Of those thirty eight, thirty eight ran screaming back down the path- a higher ratio of scares than Stan had ever had.

He wouldn't admit it to himself, but his body was thankful for Arline being here. Her half contribution (he'd argue only forty percent) of the frights had allowed him to stay refreshed in an otherwise ocean of desensitized youths.

But the night grew dark. It was nearing eleven, and Stan breathed hard as he rested against his door, looking at the concerned pig before him. Waddles snorted at the old man, who nodded. "I know," Stan nodded as he grumbled, "I'm out of tricks." Stan stood up and turned, staring outside to the porch. There, on the couch, Arline also rested her head. She had been the kindling to the fire the two had made that terrorized the visiting trick or treaters, and she too was showing signs of faltering. With a new grin on his lips, he pushed outside, and held onto the doorframe as Waddles pushed past him. "Well, looks like missus 'Oh! I know everything there is to scaring people' is running low on fuel."

"You wish," she said after she swallowed and leveled her breathing.

"Hah! You can't lie to me," Stan told her as he placed his knuckles on his hips, "your ideas are just fumes at this point! Lost all that fire."

"And _you_ got more to dish out?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow as she sized him up.

"Of course!" Stan lied.

"Right. Because you're sweating because it's soo hot on this seventy degree evening," Arline pointed out as Stan stretched a false smile across his face. His proud demeanor faltered, and he slipped a hand over his forehead. She had been right- several droplets of sweat fell down his brow.

"That's just the heat from the fires," Stan scoffed.

"Even if I did believe you," Arline stood up, "you're only about to end up being burned," she told him, looking him dead in the eyes, "because I've still to dish out my best."

"Hah! We'll see your best when it finally comes, but then the only star will be me," Stan pointed a thumb to himself as he leaned in, "when _I_ dish out the real deal!"

"Fine, sure," Arline rolled her eyes, and walked away, towards her room. Stan watched her go, aware that the pretense of game in her voice had completely dropped away. He opened his mouth, almost asking her if she was okay. Then he slapped himself in the forehead. Why should he care? Women.

Waddles snorted at his feet, and grumbled.

"What?" Stan asked him, "she's just being stupid. If she can't deal with the fact that I'm clearly the better scare-master," Stan told the pig, "then maybe she should go off and pout."

Waddles stared at him, his eyes squinting in judgment.

"Listen, swine," Grunkle Stan told Waddles, ushering him inside, "that scrub crud may work on Mabel, but it won't work on me, so spare me!" He told the pig as he closed the door and leaned against it.

Dang it. This wasn't working as well as he had planned. Either the heat of Arline's crazy-mojo-magic-martial-arts witchcraft had exhausted him, or he was truly losing his touch. Days in the past Summerween and Halloween had come where Stan had been able to hold an entire night to just scaring and frightening. Now it seemed he struggled to keep his eyes open. Fatigue settled in as an unwelcome houseguest.

Waddles oinked loudly.

"What?" Stan asked him. Waddles padded the front door behind him with his hoof. Stan spun and placed his eyes against the spying glass and peering into the night. "Oh... no," Stan groaned.

There had been one group of thirteen year olds he had been expecting since the night began. A certain group of ten year olds who had, since Mable and Dipper come to Gravity Falls for the first time, always given Stan problems. Internet kids- the kinds that got excited about scary games and videos. The kinds that made Stan question his ability to terrorize every half year or so. And they seemed to be his last customer.

"Great," Stan groaned as he put himself away from the door again. "Just gotta... give 'em my best. No holding back on these one anymore." Stan then heard their voices as they got closer.

"No, yeah, we know his gimmick," one of the kids said, "likes to try pretending he's normal, and then he gets you when his guard is down."

"That doesn't sound so scary," another, a girl, said.

"Yeah, he's thinks it's all scary, but it's really not anymore," another of the group said.

Stan growled. How dare they speak to him as that? He had earned that reputation as king of scares through pain and practice. Nothing less than a week of preparing and practicing came before each of the two holidays; and what were they talking about? Him- not scary? He had thirty eight other groups to prove just the opposite!

Then again, they had a point. That was his method- pulling the carpet out from under them. They knew that, so maybe their critical view wasn't unfounded. Stan growled and thought.

Maybe... maybe he should start with something else? With Arline? Let her start, and then he pull in with the final scare! Granted, they had a back and forth tag-team of sorts, and recently, it was his turn to let her go first, but maybe if he just waited for her to go, he could grab the glory. They were tired after all, on the count of who scared the most. Stan needed this.

He needed to prove he could scare these stupid, spoiled kids.

So he stepped back and crossed his arms, grinning. _They won't know what hit 'em_, he thought to himself with a low chuckle. Waddles looked to him as the door before him was knocked. Yet Stan did nothing. Waddles oinked. Stan grinned, put a finger to his mouth to quiet the pig.

"Mister, open up," one of the kids said to the door.

Stan didn't budge. Arline would be coming any second now.

Another knock on the door, and Stan looked to Waddles, his smile fading.

_Aaaaaany second now_, he thought to himself as he scratched his skin through the heavy makeup he wore. Nothing seemed to be happening.

"Does he always make you wait this long?" another girl of the group asked.

"Not unless he's given up. He is like, ninety or whatever. Maybe he went to sleep," the leader of the group said.

"But the lights are one," the second lead, the best friend, point out.

Stan bit his lip. Where was Arline? Shouldn't she be putting on her little pyrotechnics show now? He needed her- err- her effects for the show. Without her, his last performance was exactly what they called it out to be as- pulling the carpet from under their expectations.

"Hey!" the same leader called, "open up already!"

Stan closed his eyes and stared at the door. He had to answer them. He had never missed a door in his life when it came to Summerween. He wouldn't miss one now. But if he answered, there was no guarantee he could even startle them. What would it be? He paused and thought. With a sad sigh, he reached over to a small table and lifted up a bowl of candy. With a step forward, he opened the door.

"Trick or treat," several of the kids said. The front two stared at Stan.

"About time," the larger of the two, with a gap between his two front teeth said.

"Well, go ahead. Show us how scary you are," the second one, a boy with darker skin, told Stan.

"Ha-ha. Right, just take your candy and get lost," Stan grumpily told them. Of the five, the three shrugged and approached. Yet the front two extended hands and held their friends back. "Oh, what? Is my candy going to jump out at you now?"

"You've always got a trick or something," the darker skinned one said.

Stan sighed, not willing to even consider tearing his fake skin off. "Just take the candy already," he said with a low rumble.

After a moment, the two leaders looked between one another. Their eyes had focused onto one another as they silently communicated a message of distrust towards Stan, who only shook his head. He wasn't going to waste their expectations on them this time. His energy would be better saved for another day, or another group.

As they reached out, and their hands nearly touched the rim of the bowl of candy, a loud thud caused a shriek in the two girls of the group, who spun around. Stan rose his head to see the source, and blinked.

What he had expected to be Arline was... not. A figure, dressed head to toe in what seemed to be a late reissuance crimson jester outfit. A horrible mask with a huge grin and black slits for eyes stared at the kids as the figure slowly stood up, hunching over and rattling it's arms, where sharp looking bells were all attached.

"See?" the leader said with a sigh. "He always tries this."

"Look I like make up, kid," Stan told him honestly, catching the group's attention. "That thing isn't part of my act."

"Liar," the best friend said, but he glanced back to the figure, who tilted it's head to the side. The blackness beneath the slots for eyes carried no light, but it was clear who the jester spoke to.

"Well," Arline's voice, deeper and raspy startled the group, "little fodder for good 'ol Jaspar to play with? Oh, and an old man to boot," she said, pointing at them with clawed fingers, "this night just got fun!"

The jester wove her arms above her head. With a clap and boom, a ring of fire exploded out from her back and quickly circled the group of kids and Stan, who stared at the act with awe.

"No one leaves today, not without entertaining me first!" the jester cackled, and started hopping on her feet as the kids whimpered.

"Okay, we get it," the leader told Stan worriedly, "you got better at your act. Cut it out."

"This isn't me!" Stan told him honestly, but still on the joke.

"Now, lets... start the fun," Arline said, and twisted her body around, and then slowly lifted her hand. As she did, a stream of fire coiled around her in the form of a serpent, and thrust it at the kids. The animal construction of flame hissed and roared as it jetted forward, and the kids screamed. Stan saw his chance, and on only the hope that Arline would never actually endanger the kids, he tossed his candy aside and jumped in front of the serpent. He was in luck- it faded just as it struck him, but he played it like it entered his body.

"Uh... oh..." Stan said, slowly turning around to the group, ready for his own half, "kids... I don't know how long I can hold her off," he said as he let his deep voice play his false pain for him, "so when you get the chance... run!" he said, and then he gripped the sides of his face, and slide his nails across. The kids screamed as parts of his skin fell away, revealing a deep red muscle layer underneath. "RUN!" he told them as he turned and ran at the jester, who then made the circle of fire vanish.

Instead, Stan found himself in a huge, air-shaking spiral of fire. He could feel the make-up begin to melt off his face it was so hot. But it only lasted a second: Arline dropped the entire show, and turned away from him, as five kids were running for their lives back down the path.

"Ha... Ha! HA!" Stan began to laugh as they vanished. "That's right! Run you little twerps! Not so easy to be brave around me as you thought, is it!?" Stan barked and laughed, wiping off the second layer of make up, revealing his actual skin underneath. Next to him, with a sigh, Arline pulled off the Jester hood and mask. She stood next to him, watching the kids flee with a slight smile. Stan turned to her, and pursed his lips.

"We should sit down," he allowed himself to say to her.

"Not a bad idea," she nodded and turned with him towards the porch. A few moments later, the two slumped on the outdoor seating, where Waddles came up and sat before them, giving them his usual beady eye smile.

"Uh," Stan started, scratching his neck, "you, uh... you aren't bad at scaring kids," he admitted. Arline smirked and nodded.

"You're better," she told him.

"Oh don't swaddle me," Stan grumbled, "you got more to work with."

"And you found a more consistent routine," she argued, "and if I had to really count," she added with a sigh, "I think you technically won-"

"I don't really care," Stan grumbled. Arline flicked her head towards him, blinking.

"What?" she asked.

"Yeah, look, I don't care about the whole deal," Stan shrugged. "Anyone who can freak the minds of the youth to run like that doesn't owe me anything," he stated. Arline looked to him, her eyes wider than he had ever seen them when giving him a look other than anger or dissatisfaction. She grinned.

"Stan," she said, "the real reason I'm here is to stop Graupner."

"... come again?" Stan blinked and stuck a finger in his ear, wriggling it around.

"Just before June started," Arline told him, adjusting to face him naturally, "I was contacted by... my master. The master of the Paths himself. He had been gone for so many years, and he just popped out of no where. He told me that Graupner, the Warlock, could be after something... important here."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Arline said with a sigh, putting a hand through her tied up hair and letting down her ponytail she had made for the hood, "signs seem to lead that something big is hiding in this town. Something more important than just ghost and ghoulies. Something... else."

Stan watched her and his thoughts swirled. This guy, the warlock: he was after the portal? Or was there something else in town he had missed? _No_, Stan thought to himself, _there's one, big, scary artifact under the dirt, and it's here_.

"So when I say I'm here to help Mabel and Dipper," Arline continued, "I mean it. They found the guy first, and he's not someone who cares to be pleasant or nice to anyone just because he can. He'll be mean and direct and brutal whenever he gets the chance."

"Right, hence cutting Dipper's arm," Grunkle Stan sighed. "Look... I... owe you an apology."

"You didn't know, Stanley," Arline shrugged.

"I didn't, but I knew you weren't anything bad," Stan told her, "and I used the idea that I didn't know to make you all evil-looking. I'll be honest here," Stan said, rubbing his hair, "I'm nervous that you're more... eh... 'cool' than me," Stan quoted with his fingers.

"Cool?" she repeated.

"Yeah! You're younger, hip, happy and all that stupid new-age hippy stuff," Stan groaned as Arline grinned while shaking her head, "and I'm not. I'm old and grouchy and," Stan sighed," only getting older. The kids are just about to go through the best years of their lives, and here I am, getting tired and wrinkly."

"You are getting a bit wrinkly, but just a bit," Arline shrugged. Stan shook his head, and Arline piped up. "Stan. I'm not replacing you," she said strongly. "I may be all those things, and heck even Mabel's teacher," she added, "but in the end, you're family to them. That'll mean a lot more in the end to them than I ever will."

Stan could not believe himself as he looked up to her, a small smile on his face. He especially couldn't believe himself when he opened his mouth and said, "thanks."

"No problem," she said. "Stan, we're on the same side here. We can disagree about stuff, but let's at least keep some things neutral. What do you say?" she asked, extending a hand.

Stan nodded and grabbed her hand with his own. "For the twins sake," he told her.

Perhaps the stars themselves had aligned that night, and the spirits had guided Stan to just the point where he truly believed her. She turned away, fanning hers face as she sat next to him, in her crazy jester costume, and Stan really found himself believing, for the first time, she was someone he could rely on.

"Stand up and follow me," Stan told her as he pushed himself off the couch, forcing Waddles to step towards the door, "I need to show you something."

"If it's your gun collection Stan," Arline chuckled, "I've already seen it. Twice. You made sure to try intimidating me."

"Trust me," Stan told her as he held the door open for her and Waddles. As they stepped inside, he checked the outside one last time. "You'll want to see this. It's important." As he closed the door, the loud click of a lock followed, and the front porch light was turned off.

* * *

In the many visual representations of death Dipper had ever gone through in his head, the one he was looking at was the furthest from his guess. He had thought 'tall man in a suit', or 'shadowy figure in a large cloak', and once he even wagered it was an old man in a wheelchair who poked you with his death-walking stick. A fifteen year old redhead with a lumberjack hat was the last one on his list for 'physical embodiment of death itself'.

Dipper and Mabel had pressed themselves against a tall tombstone behind them staring at Wendy. Mabel had wrapper arms around Dipper's shoulder, and Dipper followed suit. Wendy's tired, empty eyes watched them shake and stare at her.

"Dipper," Mabel said, "I think we're about to die. So, just before we do- I've always loved you, and I think you're actually really smart and funny and a girl would probably deserve you, but gosh I really wish I had a sister too!"

"Aw Mabel, I- wait," Dipper heard the last bit, and glared at his sister. "Nice," he grumbled.

A gust of wind picked up Wendy's hair, and the twins jolted to stare at her again, shivering. Dipper closed his eyes. Undead were not keen on letting people walk away, and this one had caught them. Wendy had them, and it would be over now. Dipper counted the seconds before life was taken from him...

...and nothing happened. He poked out an eye from under his lid, and found Wendy had spun around, sitting on her own tombstone.

"You guys should leave," she said, her voice cracking so abruptly, Dipper thought she might have just been punched in the ribs.

"What do you mean?" Mabel asked, holding Dipper back.

"Like, you two dudes should go now," Wendy sighed, her voice trembling.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, what ever happened to the whole," Mabel acted her best as a ghost, "youuu knoowww ourrr secret, and nowww mussst diiieee sort of thing?" she finished, dropping the performance entirely to grab Dipper again.

Wendy chuckled, her voice sounding tight and forced. When she turned around, her eyes shined in the light and... there was a tiny smile on her face. "Guys, it's still me here."

"But-" Mabel stated.

"I could never hurt you two," she said as she shifted herself, sitting on her own tombstone but looking to them, "as long as I could help it, I wouldn't pull a hair off your head."

"But you're a ghost, right?" Mabel asked. Dipper groaned and shook his head.

"No way. She's been everywhere with us. She never freaked out the N.P.P.P. or their EMF detectors, and she's physical. She exists physically here, with us," Dipper said. Wendy nodded slowly.

"So far, right on, man," she quietly said, rubbing her nose.

"And you've never burned in sun before," Dipper continued, "meaning... you've either always been a vampire, or you aren't one."

"Right on not a vampire," Wendy smiled widely, showing her normal teeth.

"Which means one of two things," Dipper said, "you're... a clone... or a really well kept together zombie." Wendy shook her head. "On which one?" Dipper asked, but she continued to shake her head. "Both!?"

"Both dude," she sighed, "I'm not a brain eater man. That's so much more robbie's thing, if he was an undead or whatever," she chuckle darkly.

"Then... what _are_ you?" Dipper demanded strongly. Wendy's eyes focused on him. Something deep within those green eyes stuggled. She clearly hated admitting to what she was, and Dipper could only watch as she came to her decision.

With a long, troubled sigh, Wendy said, "I'm a wraith."

"A what?" Mabel asked.

"I've heard of them before," Dipper said, pulling back out his journal and flipping through more pages, "they're in Stronghold and Serpents as a monster. Sort of a like a ghost, but they're also physical." Monsters and ghosts and all sorts of beings were flipped through, but wraith was no part of the journal he could see. "It's not in here?!" Dipper gasped as he realized, after going through the entire book twice, there was not a single page dedicated to the thing Wendy was before them.

"Not surprised," Wendy said, "whatever I really am is... an old curse sort of deal. I've not run into anything like me. Maybe I'm the only one," she suggested.

"Wendy, did this happen before we met?" Dipper asked. Wendy shook her head. "After?" she picked her stone gently with her heel, and Dipper glanced to the date, right next to her foot. "Wait... then you really did die?"

"Yeah. Three years ago, after you two went back home, actually," she said, talking to the ground primarily.

"Wendy," Dipper stepped forward. Mabel reached out and tried holding him back.

"Dipper," she warned him, yet he pushed forward.

"Tell us what's happened," he asked.

Wendy's eyes glazed over and she closed them. A tear ran down her cheek from one of her eyes and she nodded. "Sure," she told him, "It's really about time I could tell someone the truth aside from Robbie."

Dipper opened his mouth, about to ask what he had to do with this, but he withheld. Wendy would not be interrupted by him.

"Halloween after you guys left was rocky. Robbie wanted to start a band, a real band outside town and leave. He wanted Tambry to go with him, but she wanted to stay behind and go to school in Portland. They argued and finally they broke up. It was bad," she admitted with a heavy, angered sigh. "Robbie thought unless he was free to roam wherever he wanted, he couldn't make it big."

"That night was going to be their first night without each other. Robbie... was desperate to get back with her. Tambry was still angry, so she wouldn't talk to him. He even jumped in on her party, and tried talking to her- which just ruined the party," Wendy continued, "so everyone left. I was walking home. Right back there, actually," she pointed over the hill, "to my place."

"Robbie drove up next to me. He thought I could 'talk sense' or something into Tambry. I told him it wasn't my business, 'cus it wasn't," she added with a huff, "and he wouldn't hear me out. He just kept on driving next to me... he wasn't watching where we were. The he tried turning into the street without checking, and he was hit by another car. My dad's truck."

"Oh," Mabel gasped.

"He was okay. He was thrown out into a lawn and broke his angle and knee on one leg, but... his car..." Wendy swallowed and looked away from the twins, "my dad's truck was too heavy to be stopped by Robbies van. It just... pinned me and pushed me..."

Wendy's voice cracked and she turned away for a moment. Dipper suddenly remembered where he was- in the graveyard. He had been so drawn in to her story that he had even forgotten what he had been doing here to begin with. He really didn't remember that still, when he thought about it. All he could hear was Wendy clearing her voice and the mild scrap of jeans against tombstone as Wendy turned back.

"So... I died a few minutes later, while my dad tried getting me out of the wreck," Wendy continued, "and... next thing I remembered," she shrugged, "I woke up next to Robbie in the morgue."

"What?" Dipper gasped.

"He told me later," Wendy explained, "that when my body was taken away, they wanted to examine it first. My dad went crazy- he wanted to see me. So, all to examiners had to try stopping him. In the commotion, Robbie snuck in with that stupid spell book he found in the library," Wendy admitted, "and tried 'binding me to life' or whatever. Well... it worked. Sort of," she said.

"So he resurrected you?" Dipper asked her, his eyes widened.

"No. I'm not alive," Wendy shook her head and held her shoulders in her hands. "The spell, when we checked it later, was supposed to bind me to Robbie, but he didn't try that part. So... I'm this result from an uncompleted spell," she shrugged as more tears fell down her face.

"So you're... really undead?" Mabel asked, standing next to Dipper.

"Why can't you go to anyone else?" Dipper said, "if you left the morgue, wouldn't people think you were alive?"

"Thanks to my dad and the police, no," Wendy shook her head, "he wouldn't stop fighting about it. So when the cops showed up, and had to arrest him, the newspapers put him on the front cover instead of my death. So everyone knew my dad went crazy for something, but no one really knew why unless they asked. My friends... they figured it out from Robbie, who wouldn't tell them he brought me back... my family thinks I'm gone forever... I was alone. So I starting walking out of town. Visiting over areas of Oregon. I really liked Portland, actually. Cool place," she admitted.

"You just walked to Portland?" Dipper asked. "What about school?"

"I couldn't just go to school, Dipper," Wendy scolded him, "what if people knew? All the people I cared about already did know, so if I ran into them, I couldn't... I just couldn't. So during school I wandered around. The summer after that," Wendy remembered, "I was going to leave, you know that?" she told them, "and I went to visit the Mystery Shack... and Stan was just there, asking me if I was still going to work for the summer. Soos too. Neither of them knew."

"They are kind of out of the loop," Dipper nodded. Mabel gripped his shoulder tightly, trying to pull him away.

"So I had a place to stay during the Summer. A place during the day. But... that was still nine months out of the year I had no where to go."

"What about food and water?" Dipper asked.

"I can't eat," Wendy told him angrily, "I can't drink! I can't even sleep!" she shook her head and put hands over her face. "I want to! So badly! I'm starving and so thirsty I can feel every bit of my throat like it's a desert! I'm so tired, but when I close my eyes, nothing happens! I'm just stuck like this! Stuck forever hungry, and thirsty, and tired!"

Dipper stepped back, breathing quickly. Wendy was starting to act hysterical, and it was catching onto him. He could feel his heart racing dangerously. He was scared of her now, scared and saddened by her entire existence.

"The only people, the only people I could, without a doubt," Wendy pulled her hands away, revealing streaks of tears down her face, "hang around without worrying was... you two," she said with a sniffle.

"W-wendy," Dipper tried, his voice too small and scared to sound significant.

"B-but now you t-two know," she nodded and finally stood back up, looking at them in the eyes, "you've heard ab-bout me... and why would you want to hang around a walking, talking corpse? I'm just a monster now, the k-kinds we used to stop!" she hollered, and held an arm over her eyes as she stumbled back, leaning on her tombstone.

"Wendy-"

"Leave me alone! _JUST GO!_" she roared, her voice rocking the night around them.

Without another word, the twins charged off. Dodging tombstone after memorial plaque, the two twins huffed and puffed as they ran for their lives. Dipper only once looked back at the red-headed girl by the tombstone, now falling to her knees. Their steps were loud and unforgiving as the robed twins darted like crazy out into the path, and over the hill.

Only a few minutes later, some half mile away from the graveyard, Dipper stopped and landed roughly on the side of the road. He panted, and made gasping noises to have Mabel stop as well. She too slowed and turned, ripping off her false beard and moustache as she panted just as much as Dipper did. The had sprinted the entire time, and now stared at each other on the road.

"Wha... wha... wha... what do we... do?" Dipper asked Mabel after a pause.

"I dunno," she managed, still standing.

"But..." Dipper growled as he swallowed his pain. This was big. This was huge- and entirely terrifying. "She fooled us... the entire time..."

"Dipper," Mabel rolled her eyes, "that's not going to help us."

"But I'm supposed to be the solver of all the mysteries!" Dipper exclaimed, "and one of the biggest was under my noses the entire time!"

"Dipper, that's because all the biggest mysteries are under our noses!" Mabel told him angrily, and realized that half of her moustache had not been removed, "oh, c'mon off you rat!" she growled as she pulled off the last chunk of hair. "Ow!"

"We have to do something," Dipper announced.

"Like what?" Mabel asked.

"I don't know, but we have to _do_ something," Dipper tried again.

"How?!" Mabel exclaimed, "Dipper, she's undead! They're like the least safe of all the monsters we encounter! And I remember the dinosaurs!" she pointed at him, "those things bite you and carry away your pigs!"

"Mabel-"

"I was possessed by ghosts, Dipper!" Mabel said, her voice louder, "undead are... are not," Mabel squeezed her eyes shut, "nice things."

Dipper looked down to the ground and concrete below him. She was right. Of the types of monsters and mysteries that he and Mabel had come across, undead were the most dangerous. They weren't just one type of being- but a wide span of darkly colors and shapes. Some controlled the very fabric of magic and the universe, and others never stopped until they got what they wanted.

And to think, all this time, Wendy had been one of these beings.

"Dipper," Mabel softly said, coming to sit next to him, "maybe this is something we need to let go."

"What?" he asked her. Mabel groaned and looked away.

"I didn't want to believe it, but what if you were right?" Mabel asked as she turned back and leaned toward Dipper, "she's been lying to us, all this time. What if now, even though she doesn't want to, she may have to hurt us if we get too close? Ghosts don't usually want to hurt people- but they do."

"She isn't a ghost," Dipper pointed out.

"So?" Mabel asked.

"She's different," Dipper protested.

"She could hurt you," Mabel told him.

"Could being the key word," Dipper argued, "she could have hurt us the entire summer. She's helped more than-"

"Dipper!" Mabel cut him off. Dipper held himself back, staring at his sister. "She's-"

"This isn't like you," Dipper told her firmly. "You'd never turn away from Wendy. Why are you acting this way?" Mabel frowned and shook her head yet said nothing. "Mabel."

"I'm scared," she finally admitted. "It's scary for me. You weren't possessed by one of those things before."

"She isn't a ghost, Mabel. She... she's just like us, only... cursed," he ended, and then blinked. "She's just cursed. That's all. She's just cursed!"

"I heard you the first time, dude," Mabel told him as he stood up.

"Mabel, don't you get it?" he spun around, his body stirring with excited energy. "There isn't any difference between her and us, except her curse!" Mabel blinked and before she could reply, Dipper paced back and forth before her," she's had all the chances in the world to hurt us, but didn't. She's tried keeping us safe and away from the truth, because she was afraid what would happen. She's... Mabel, she's just like you!"

"...Scared?" Mabel asked.

"Yes," Dipper nodded, a smile on his face, "She's scared! She isn't angry at us, or mad, or anything like that! She's... lost," Dipper turned to the street, "and we need to change that."

"How?" Mabel stood up, stepping next to him, "she said that it was one of the books Robbie took from the library- like the ones that the Warlock stole?" Mabel reminded him, and Dipper groaned.

"You're right. We'd have to ask her more, and then try finding where he hid those other books after we lost him the first time," Dipper thought aloud.

"But she doesn't want us near, remember?" Mabel told Dipper, "kind of ruined that chance."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded and sighed, "this would be a lot easier of we had some backup. But everyone's at that crazy party," Dipper added. Mabel nodded and sighed as well. Within a moment, her eyes began to grow wider and wider, and she began to slap Dipper's arm. "Ow," he complained when she started gasping and hopping, "What?" he demanded.

"I got it," she told him, "our backup!"

"What... do you have planned?" Dipper asked her.

Forty five minutes later, Dipper and Mabel appeared over the hill. They were not alone.

The entire party at Zander Maximillion's place had up and lifted themselves from the building, taken almost every piece of moveable equipment and helped lift it down the street. Nearly a hundred people or so walked behind the twins, Candy and Grenda Pacifica nad Yuki, Melody and Soos, and Zander, who with Soos's help was able to carry the entire mix table. As they rounded the curve on the hill, Mabel pointed ahead.

"Go! Make this place decorated to a Maximillion standard!" Mabel commanded. Several people her age ran past, holding streamers and decorations borrowed from the party, and began to rush through all the tombstones and light posts, wrapping them in red, green, orange and black. "Get those melon-lanterns up!" she barked at a pair, who nodded and hung a scarecrow with the head of a carved watermelon.

"You heard her!" Grenda shouted as she adjusted her witch costume, "chop chop!"

"Alright folks!" Zander called as well, "lets get the generators set up for the music! And then we continue the party- _in style_!"

The crowd roared with approval, and people rushed forward, connecting wires together. Soon, not only was the graveyard an outdoor light show, but a fully stocked dance party. Dipper glanced around as the lights shone. He had expected Wendy to flee from the coming crowd, but maybe he could spot her hiding in the edges of the graveyard. Instead, a hand reached around and spun him. Zander was beaming with Mabel.

"I'll be honest, I'm a little jealous that I didn't think of this first!" Zander laughed as Soos began to play the music again. "Party at the graveyard? At night? So eighties I can't even handle it!" Zander said loudly.

"It was Mabel's idea," Dipper shrugged. Mabel blinked, and opened her mouth to deny responsibility, but as soon as the green eyes of Zander turned to her, she grinned and shrugged.

"Yeah, well, you know. Moment of inspiration and boom!" she tossed her hands into the air, "you got a good idea."

"I need to remember to keep you around for good ideas," Zander chuckled and winked at her. Mabel promptly blushed and spun half way from him.

"Ohh Mabel," Candy nudged Mabel with a grin, "you still have it," she said quietly.

"Yeah!" Grenda shouted, "now let's go grab some food!"

"TO THE CANDY TABLE!" Mabel declared and the three charged off.

Next to Dipper, Pacifica was pulling Yuki towards the dancing crowd. "C'mon," she asked him, "you've had some chances to learn the moves. Show me what you got."

"I have been studying these 'moves'," Yuki admitted as he nervously looked around, now standing in the middle of a wave of moving bodies, "but studying and applying are separate actions."

"Don't be shy, handsome," Pacifica said slyly. Yuki was entirely unshaken by the compliment, far too focused on his own movement to hear her flirt. With her, and a spying Dipper as witnessed, he tried to dance. Jerky, uncontrolled, and rather goofy looking with his taller, skinny body, Yuki promptly made a fool of himself. Pacifica smiled and shook her head, wrapping an arm around his, and pulling him upright. "You look crazy!" she laughed.

Yuki grinned, and nodded. "I do a much better ballroom dance," he told her. Pacifica gasped as Yuki grasped her other hand with his own, placed her arm on his back and his arm around her waist, and began to, while remixed horror movie music played, slow danced with her. Pacifica, despite being able to keep up with him in her 'sexy secretary werewolf' costume, couldn't help it. She burst out laughing, dancing with him through the crowd elegantly.

"They're awfully cute together," a voice next to Dipper said. Dipper turned and found Melody next to him, staring at the slow dancers. "You know those two?" she asked to Dipper.

"That's one of..." Dipper stared at Yuki and grinned, realizing a truth for the alien he had known for only a month, "my best friends. And that's Pacifica. She's crushing on him."

"Oh yeah," Melody nodded with a smile, "I mean, are you kidding me?" she chuckled, "ballroom dancing to a upbeat mix like this?" she chortled and turned back to Soos, "hey buddy!" she called, instantly catching Soos's attention, "give it something a little slower!"

"Okay guys, this is going to be for you out there feeling the vibe to dance at a... romantic daze," Soos said to the microphone. He flipped a few switches, and the upbeat music was changed to a slower pace, and soon, more people were dancing like Yuki and Pacifica. Dipper snorted, and another hand wrapped around his shoulder, as Mabel leapt before him, grinning.

"Zander wants me to be part of all the party planning for now on!" Mabel grinned, bouncing up and down, "I'm going to work with Pacifica and him to get all the holidays together so we can, you know, do stuff!"

"Sweet," Dipper grinned.

"Dude, not just sweet, rocking tooth-ache sweet!" Mabel told him and jumped onto his neck, forcing him to catch her as she squealed, "the kind where I get to see the absolute prettiest man alive like constantly!" she leapt off him, and ran off, bounding towards Pacifica and Yuki. Dipper rolled his eyes and stepped away.

Watching the party that was a creation of him and his sister was something to behold. Granted, he hadn't personally brought all these people to Zanders place, but he had gotten all of them here, just as he had planned. Sitting down on the tombstone, Dipper sighed and stretched his neck. A hand reached around, and as he turned to see the person in question, he was yanked down behind the stone with a yelp.

"Dipper!"

As Dipper looked up at the night sky from the ground, red hair fell past his face, and shaking green eyes stared into his soul.

"Wendy," he grunted, feeling her hand pinning down to the ground. "Could you let go?" she did so, and Dipper fell to the side, dirt and grass caressing his face as the robe fell around him.

"Dipper, what the heck are you thinking?" she demanded.

"What?" he asked.

"I go to one place during Halloween and Summerween. One place! I told you to leave me alone, so you come back with like a hundred people!?" she demanded. "The heck!"

"I'm pretty sure it's not exactly a hundred," Dipper shrugged.

"Dipper-"

"Okay, okay, look," Dipper held his hands up as Wendy looked panicked, "and listen, okay?"

"Why? Why should I?" she demanded, "I asked one thing from you, and you totally went back and backstabbed me!" she stood up from him, huffing as her face went red, and she spun away, walking towards the darkness.

"Because it's your only chance!" Dipper called after her.

Wendy whipped around, furrowing her eyebrows. "What?" she demanded.

"I'm telling you now, if I didn't know what had happened to you," Dipper said, standing and walking to her calmly, looking her fully in the eyes, "and I didn't know what I do about ghosts, I would be certain that they came out two times during the year: Summerween and Halloween. Don't you see?" Dipper told her, walking directly up to her, realizing he was her height now, "this is your chance to get in a party like that and no one will think any different of you."

Wendy looked at him. Her eyes widened as she turned and looked at the newly strung up lights. "They'll thing I'm a ghost," Wendy held her arms tightly.

"So? Today is they day that's okay. Right?" Dipper asked her. She looked away, and Dipper growled. He took one of her hands and held it. Only when she broke her determined stare and turned back to Dipper did he continue, "they came to this graveyard under the promise from Mabel and I that ghosts were walking around. They may not be ready for it, but they all okay with the idea you're here."

"Dipper, I-"

"Wendy," Dipper said, holding her other hand, looking into her bright green eyes. "C'mon. Do me a favor?" he asked her, "Trust me."

Wendy pursed her lips. All she could do was stare back into those deep brown eyes, flicking in the candlelight around them. As Dipper watched her, he grinned and added, "And I promise not to bring any attention to you. Just you and me, out there."

"...yeah?" Wendy asked.

Dipper laughed. Without a second thought, he drew his closed fingers across his mouth, and tossed the imaginary zipper. Wendy blinked. A watery smile later, she mimed him and nodded. She would let Dipper walk her out.

With a sigh to steady his own shaking nerves, Dipper turned and lead her out into the open. Passing several people standing by the sides of the lights, Dipper lead her right into the dance crowd and turned to her.

"Ugh. Doing the slow stuff still," Dipper rolled his eyes as people still danced around slowly.

"Could do with a bit of a tune up, huh?" Wendy asked him quietly as they rocked back and forth together.

"You're telling me," Dipper chuckled, "I love Melody, but her idea made this all formal and weird," Dipper chuckled. Wendy snickered and nodded.

"Oh!" she gasped, "that's right! Melody is here!" she exclaimed, looking towards the booth, where the woman of Soos's heart stood. "Aww, she looks awesome."

"You could go tell her," Dipper suggested.

"No way. I'm barely okay just being here," Wendy shook her head, "this is crazy enough for me." Dipper stared at her. Something about the way she was moving, so close to him and nervously looking around made him think of something. Then he remembered- and he held back his laughing as best he could. "Huh?" Wendy asked, "what's funny?"

"Nothing," he poorly tried assuring her.

"Liar," she poked his shoulder gently, "what is it?"

"It's stupid," he told her.

"If it's funny and stupid, you know I'll love it," she told him. After a moment of consideration, Dipper surrendered to her wishes and explained.

"It's just, uh, that three years ago, during that party where Stan charged people to leave?" Dipper asked, and Wendy chuckled and nodded, "I just had this crazy notion- a fantasy, you know? Where you and me would be slow dancing in this stupid romantic thing, and I'd be tall as you,-" Wendy stared at him as Dipper began to laugh, "and Soos would be providing music in the background!"

"You were an adorable kid, weren't you?" Wendy told him with a grin as Dipper calmed down. "You've grown up better, though," she added. His face heated up and he looked away.

"Nah. If someone should be talking about looks, it should be me about you," Dipper managed to say. Then he felt a twinge in his stomach. That was too far. "Sorry," he shook his head, "that was- I was just-"

"Dipper, dude," Wendy told him with a small giggle, "chill."

Dipper felt his gaze soften and the focus of the world went hazy. She was so close to him now, staring back at him. There were so many things going through his head, so many questions and concerns; and all were just muted noise that drifted through his brain like lost points to an argument he no longer cared for. He opened his mouth to speak to Wendy, and-

"Dipper!" Mabel roared as she bounded through the party, spinning him around with her eyes wide and shimmering with sugar high, "I have eaten SO MUCH CAN- oh Wendy! You showed up! YESH! You should come-"

Mabel's appearance had instantly caused a hush over the crowd. Nearly fifty people had spun in Dipper and Mabel's direction, staring at the redhead with wide, scared eyes. The heat of nearly five dozen stares began to cook at Dipper as he felt the pressure of the world resting on his shoulders. Then he turned to Wendy. Her face nearly matched her hair in color; beet red and screwed up in fear.

"What?" Dipper called out after a long pause. The eyes flickered onto him. "You've never seen a redhead before or something?"

"And a pretty one at that!?" Mabel added, waving a gummy stick at the crowd.

"What's going on?" Zander had pushed his way through, his face serious as he found the entire group focused on the three. "Oh. Hi again Wendy," Zander waved to her. "What's going on? Did someone fart over here, or something?"

"She's a ghost!" someone shouted.

"Who?" Zander asked with a chuckle.

"I... am," Wendy stepped closer to him. Zander whipped around, his eyes popping out in awe. "I'm sorry," she shrugged.

"Sorry?! Are you kidding me!?" Zander said with high energy as he stepped closer, "I've got the coolest party in Summerween existence and you want to apologize for making it that way!?"

"Huh?" the three asked.

"Guys!" Zander called to the rest of the crowds, "We've got a real, live, ghost who heard how awesome our party is!" The entire party whipped around. Wendy gasped and spun. There was no where to flee to. "That has to be the coolest thing on the face of the planet, right?!" Zander encouraged the crowd.

Like magic, the feeling of those around the twins and Wendy flipped. They cheered and hollered, just as enthused as their ringleader about the prospect. Through the same pumped crowd though, a cluster of figures popped out.

"Wendy?!"

"T-Tambry," Wendy gasped as Tambry nearly fell out into the clearing. She was then followed by Thompson, Nate, and then Lee- all of Wendy's friends she had claimed to have fallen out of. She stood there, her lips trembling as her friends stared at her.

"Oh my god, Wendy!" Tambry gasped and rushed forward, grabbing Wendy around the neck in a heavy embrace. "I've missed you so much!"

Dipper stepped aside with Mabel as the dance party continued, now at a steady, upbeat pace as Wendy's old friends hugged her tightly, each begging and vying to get her attention. She soon was laughing and hugging them back, overwhelmed by their attention and love, something she clearly had thought never to see again.

"Nice job you two," Zander leaned over to Dipper and Mabel.

"Huh?" Dipper spun as Mabel skipped in place, "you're the one that saved all that mess."

"This was your idea, you two," Zander told them with a hearty smile, "I had no idea she was... anything other than a person, but you made this her night," he told them as the three watched Wendy cry with joy. "You gave her a chance to see her friends without terrifying them. Well, at least scaring them within reason."

Zander turned and left the twins be, staring his way to Soos and Melody.

"Dipper," Mabel stepped up to him, her eyes unfocused, "I'm glad you were right. Again."

"Heh. Me too," Dipper shrugged. With a glance back to Wendy, celebrating with her friends, Dipper smiled and looked back to his sister. Reckless abandon was something he could seem himself doing now. "Show me the candy!" he demanded of her.

An hour passed as Dipper and Mabel truly celebrated with their friends and comrades. The night sky slowly darkened further, and the party slowly wrapped itself up. As people faded, one by one or group by group, a storm was coming and everyone wanted home. Zander was helped by Soos and Melody to pack everything that was rented. The rest, as Zander put it, could be trashed.

"One of the perks of being rich, I guess," Zander shrugged, "but if anyone wants all that candy, they are more than-"

Grenda and Candy rushed forward and literally lifted the table.

"We claim rights!" Candy declared in her small voice.

"Alrighty then," Zander nodded to them.

"You're sure you got the rest?" Dipper asked Zander as he, Soos and Melody started walking down the street with Pacifica and Yuki. "Mabel and I could help still."

"No," Zander turned and glanced behind Dipper, "I've got this under control. Besides," Zander spun about and started off, "you'll want to wrap things up."

Turning back around to the Hill, Dipper saw Wendy, saying goodbye to her friends one at a time. They each wore the expression appropriate at her funeral. There had never been, according to Wendy, a proper funeral. Without a body accounted for, her father had just ordered the grave built. So when, after three years of not seeing her, Wendy's friends had a chance to catch up, they had their chances to grieve. Dipper supposed they expected this to be their last goodbye to Wendy.

After a few minutes of quiet, the four friends walked down the hill, passing Dipper without a word. Staring at the ghostly figure on the hill, Dipper managed a half smile. Wendy let her friends grow distant before also climbing down.

"Told them that I couldn't leave the graveyard," she explained with a sigh, "one of those 'magical night' explanations. Can't leave my body behind, or something like that."

"They handled it really well," Dipper admitted.

"Considering the last time they met a ghost? Yes," Wendy smiled and chuckled, "but then again, I wasn't haunting them as much as I was catching up and dancing with them. Totally different things."

"Absolutely," Dipper nodded and grinned. "So are they going to come visit now? Or can you go talk to them whenever?" Dipper asked. The light in Wendy's eye faded and she looked up to the sky.

"No... just because they took it well... I shouldn't press my luck, Dipper," she shrugged. "I got a night with them, and that's more than I ever thought I would again. And I have you to thank for," she added with a smile so warm Dipper's heart felt like it had become a puddle of goop.

"No... Wendy, what I did earlier?" Dipper shook his head, "not... asking you about your secret-"

"Dude," Wendy rolled her eyes and put a finger to his lips, instantly cutting off whatever he had to say, "chill." Dipper's entire body trembled as she stared into his eyes. He wanted to peer back into those green orbs, desperate to see that light for a very, very long time.

"I'm glad to have known you," Wendy suddenly blurted out.

"Wha- me too," Dipper replied after a nervous chuckle, "I mean, to have known you. Not known me, I know me, and I wouldn't- uh, you know what I-"

Wendy leaned forward just a few inches and Dipper felt his lips touched by something softer than his wildest dreams. He couldn't bear to close his eyes, or else he would have imagined this; it would have been a dream; a strange, long tantalizing dream. Her closed eyelids were directly before him. This was real.

Wendy kissed him.

"That's a goodnight and goodbye kiss for you, buddy," she said as she pulled back and gently looked into his eyes. Dipper nodded numbly, unable to do little else. With a giggle, Wendy patted the side of his head, turned, and walked off.

Only then did Dipper come to, and realize what she had said. "Wait, you need a place to stay!" Dipper shouted, as thunder rumbled overhead. Wendy waved over her shoulder, vanishing into the woods across the street. "Wendy!" Dipper called, "What did you mean by goodbye?!"

Wendy was gone.

Staring after the memory of her running from him, Dipper wobbled in place. He finally found his ground, but he gulped as he slowly put a hand to his lips. They still were numb. Or maybe they had always felt this way. He couldn't tell. Everything he had know about what it was to feel had changed there and then.

She, the great, uncatchable, the coolest, the chillest, the... prettiest girl Dipper had laid his eyes onto and dreamed about had kissed him. Dipper thought, as his brain made him; had the curse ever happened, would this night have come to be? Would Wendy have ever been so close to Dipper that... she would have done that?

As horrible as it was, Dipper gave the curse a tiny nod thanks. Without it, Dipper wouldn't have had the chance to lighten up Wendy's life.

Now he had a new purpose- now he had more than just mysteries to solve.

He had a girl's curse to lift.

"DIPPER!"

Dipper roared and leapt into the air as Mabel appeared next to him, grinning. A new moustache and beard had been placed on her face, and she beamed widely at the heavily breathing boy.

"You done staring off after her?" she asked with a cackle.

"Shuddup," Dipper growled as Mabel began to skip down the street, with Dipper in tow.

"You just wanted to stare after her butt, didn't you?"

"No! Shut up, Mabel."

"You did!"

"I'll push you, I swear."

"Didja like the kiss?"

"You _saw_ that?!"

"Duhhhh. Was watching and listening the entire time. I'm a ninja, Dipper. But you were stupid looking the entire time. You ended up looking like a goldfish with-"

Mabel's tease was cut short as Dipper made a dash to catch her. With a maddening cackle, Mabel Pines darted forward, forcing her brother to do his best catching up. As a pair of twins rushed down the streets and through the woods late into the night, the night of Summerween began to boil and bubble. A storm was coming.

Yet, with all the coming danger and distress, at least this one night was clear of dread. The residents of the town of Gravity Falls, whom slept during the night, would all rest their eyes and heads of candy rushes and adrenalin rushes alike, and meet the sweet rest of dreams and delights.

After all, the other half of summer was yet to come.

* * *

And the Mid-season finale is done! BOOM, BANG, SLISH, SLASH! What's a slish? God if I know!

So there you all have it. The burning question of I have no idea how many is finally answered. Wendy- the girl who would not stop being cool revealed fully at last. But that's not all that's happened here, was it? But that IS what you all were looking for. Or... at least the big commotion. Something along those lines.

And mid-season finale? Does that mean we still have ten more episodes before the end of season two!? HECK YES IT DOES. And for those of you that have enjoyed the serious chapters, get used to it. This second half starts going downhill and into realms not charted in the original series. Hope the rest of you are up for it.

No random death this authors note either! :p Summerween is my survival time! WOOH!

And remember, June 23 is Summerween- mark it on your calenders. This year it's a Tuesday.

HAPPY SUMMERWEEN!

-EZB

* * *

**Mltbocri fp ilsb. Fq fp qeb lmbk pbx, ylrkaibpp xka abbm.**

**-AND-**

**Sdflilfdv khduw olhv lq wkh vwduv.**

**-AND-**

**20-8-5 23-1-18-12-15-3-11 5-19-3-1-16-5-4**

* * *

Rain poured and thunder crashed as Zander Maximillion closed the front door to his house. Soos and Melody had just left with the others, having dropped off the equipment and then departed. They would be dropping off Yuki, Pacifica, Candy, and Grenda to all their respective locations. Zander removed his hat to the side, letting it spin to the ground. He glanced to the kitchen as he tossed out his fangs and jacket.

He chuckled. "About time it got some use," he smiled, still looking at his kitchen. Then he turned and ascended the stairs. As he climbed up, his smile faded and the rare sight of Zander Maximillion without a grin or smile presented himself. He looked tired and worn.

Still removing articles of clothing, he landed the top stair and turned down the hallway. His bedroom was the first door on the left, yet he pushed forward. The bathroom was the second door to the right, and he skipped it as well. In an unbuttoned shirt and undone tie, wearing only boots and pants, Zander stopped at the barren wall at the end of the hallway. Crown molding in the corner stood out, and he turned to one.

A large knob stuck out from the ceiling corner. Reaching up, he twisted the knob. Loud mechanical gears churned and groaned, and finally Zander pushed a button in the center. The blank wall before him hissed.

Then it split open, and slid aside, letting light flood his face. Before him was a private room, nearly the size of his bedroom. Stepping inside, he passed two large tables, covered with tons of newspapers, various articles highlighted and annotated. News about sightings of certain monsters, lights in the sky, ghosts, every form of strange from all over the USA had been gathered, and not all the papers were recent. Many showed signs of age. Zander passed one and his presence knocked it to the floor. There, in the light, the date read 'Nineteen Fifty Seven'.

Next to a large metal dresser with a electronic pass code, a massive red curtain was hung before the end of the room. Zander reached up, and with a firm grip pulled it aside.

The entire wall was covered in red string and pictures. It was of the town, and people in the town. There was the police force, the sheriff and deputy, currently all tired together. They were tied to a picture of an angry blond man, labeled 'Graupner Kinley'. The Warlock's picture was tied to several others, but that was not where Zander's hand went to.

He reached up and quickly found the Mystery Shack, which had it's second name crossed out and replaced with 'Manor'. It was tied to all the possible inhabitants: Stanley Pines, Soos Ramirez, the Pines Twins, and then Wendy Corduroy. Under Wendy's name was the word underlined in red 'Undead?'. Zander lifted a red pen from a small table, and quickly crossed out the word undead. In it's place, just by her face, he wrote down a single word- 'wraith'.

"So," he said to himself as he capped the pen, "there is another."

Zander shook his head, and then put his finger back to the picture of Wendy. From there, he traced it back to Stan. Stan's face had a series of bulletins and questions:

'Lost brother?'

'Knows more than he says. '

'Hiding something big.'

From Stan's image, Zander traced his finger to the Mystery Manor. It too had bulletins.

'Location is too coincidental.'

'Hides a big secret. But What?'

Then tracing his finger, Zander put his next placement on the woods of Gravity Falls. The ambiguous picture no notation to it, and oddity to the rest of the collected pictures scattered around the large wall. From that, a single line cast up, an imagine of a large, glowing stone. No name was written on the stone.

Zander squinted. There was one more string that lead up from the glowing rock. Zander stared at the picture and frowned. A picture of an ancient, poorly kept hieroglyph as the last connecting dot stood triumphantly in the middle of it all. One way or another, all the red strings lead to this last, center pieced picture. The hieroglyph in question was that of a triangle, with a single eye with two spindly arms and legs.

A very loud crash of thunder stirred Zander from staring at the center picture. He scowled when he turned and stared at the empty hallway behind him. Somewhere in the distance, barely audible under the pitter of rain, sirens were blaring. Without another word, Zander spun around and closed the curtain. He marched out of the room, turning the lights off this time as the hidden doors sealed shut behind him.


	43. Calm in the Storm: Part 1

There are many ways the average morning can be ruined. Some are worse than others: to be woken up to rain-dripping soaked sheets is not nearly as bad a wake up to a deranged man holding a knife over your head. Severity aside, Dipper was already experiencing a bad morning. Stretching his arm before him in his bed sleepily, he instantly realized that his stomach felt horrible.

Then a groan came over from his left, and he peeled his eyelids open. The bright light of the late morning washed over him, yet he could tell what he was looking at. Mabel had stood up, and began to shuffle away from her bed towards the door.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked.

She turned and grumbled words, barely able to be registered by human intellect.

"What?" he asked again, rubbing his eyes as he focused on her. Her eyes were red and her hair was a mess. She looked mildly green.

"Sick," she grumbled, and then spun around with Waddles the pig in tow and marched towards the bathroom.

Dipper supposed that his bad morning was suddenly more welcoming by comparison.

With the constant thudding of rain hitting the roof and windows around him, Dipper slowly got dressed and traversed downstairs, forsaking the bathroom until his sister finished business. "I warned you to not eat the rest of Grunkle Stan's-" he called as he passed the closed door.

"Shush! They were delicious, and sweet, and sour... and chocolatey... and-" Mabel's defense was cut short by a loud retching noise. Dipper shuddered and walked down the stairs, still yawning. He was certain his own stomach issues were caused by candy, but at least there were not nearly severe enough to warrant staying in a bathroom for the thirty minutes straight.

"Mornin', pip-sqeak," Grunkle Stan called to him as he passed by the stairs, moving towards the kitchen.

"You're up early," Dipper moaned as he scratched his back. Stan, already fully dressed and awake chuckled back.

"More like you're up late. It's already eleven," Stan informed Dipper, who blinked and groaned.

"Dangit, Mabel," Dipper sighed, holding his eyes, "playing Candy-Comrade was a bad idea," Dipper said as he marched after Stan into the kitchen.

"The heck is Candy-Communist?" Stan asked.

"_Comrade_," Dipper corrected him, "It's like checkers, but with Candy. Whatever candy you win, you have to eat," Dipper explained.

"And you're not... dead from sugar-high?" Stan asked, eying the boy with a knack for all things of the intellect.

Dipper shrugged. "I let Mabel win that one. Makes her feel great, and then I don't deal with what she's dealing with now," Dipper told his Grand-Uncle as he reached inside the fridge for some orange juice.

"Oh, so that's what the sound of death upstairs was coming from," Stan nodded thoughtfully.

"Sup dude," the cheery voice of a certain handy-man called to Dipper.

"Hey Soos," Dipper said as he poured himself a glass.

"Dude, talk about a party last night, huh?" Soos told him, "I mean, the house was awesome, but then the move? Great idea by you two," Soos congratulated Dipper with a pat on the shoulder.

"Thanks," Dipper nodded.

"What is he talking about?" Stan asked as he sipped what appeared to be stale, room-temperature coffee.

"We moved the entire party at Zander Maximillion's to the central graveyard!" Soos explained as Dipper sighed.

"What?" Stan gasped.

"Yeah. Uh... some complications and stuff," Dipper explained. He still hadn't decided, even after tossing and turning for several hours the previous night, on what to tell the others about Wendy.

"Wendy showed up, and people were all freaking out because someone said they saw a ghost and stuff," Soos explained further, which gained Stan's direct attention.

"Wendy was there, huh?" Stan asked. "Huh. Thought her, uh, party days were behind her," Stan asked, turning an eye to Dipper.

"She, uh," Dipper grasped at straws, still torn between telling Stan the morbid truth or holding it a secret for Wendy, "she, well-"

"Had a miscommunication with her friends," the sickly, heavy voice of Mabel finished for Dipper as she stumbled into the room. Without another word, she found the closest open seat, sat into it with a thump, and then slammed her head into the table with a bang.

"Nice reverberations," Soos commented to Mabel as he turned, "I'll get working on the clogged up drain pipes outside," Soos told Stan. The old man paid no heed, but instead stared at Mable. She banged her head on the table again.

"That's a great way to clear up sinuses," Stan pointed to her as he sipped his coffee.

"Mister Pines," a new voice entered the kitchen as Soos left while passing Yuki. He held a hand to the speaker of a phone belonging to the Mystery Manor. "I take it we are going to have a mildly un-active day?" Yuki asked.

"Eh. Can't see much happening here on rainy days. Why?" Stan asked.

"I would like to request a day off," Yuki stated. Stan stared at him, his eyes squinting as he studied the Alien. Dipper knew that look- the eyes of a con-man who would never dare to waste a single coin if he knew he could snatch it for himself. To his shock, Stan grunted and shrugged. "Thank you, sir," Yuki nodded and grinned.

Dipper spun as he glanced between the spot Yuki had just been and his Grand uncle, barely hearing the chat Yuki had on the phone. "Since when did you just let people off work?" Dipper gasped with a smile.

"Since you decided to not be nosey," Stan grunted.

"But I'm still-" Dipper started, but a peanut was thrown as his face. "Ow," Dipper winced as it struck his nose. Grunkle Stan allowed himself a self-rewarding chuckle as Dipper rubbed the irritated spot and Mabel gave a hiccup-like giggle.

"What a dork- bleh," Mabel cut herself short and stood up, entering a zombie like walk that lead her to a cabinet, "medicine. I needs it."

"Thank you Stan," Yuki walked back inside, rubbing his hands together, "that made things much easier to handle."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Stan sat down by the table, unfolding the newspaper present and reading away at the articles.

"Who were you talking to anyway?" Dipper asked. "I didn't know you knew anyone's phone number."

"I don't," Yuki said, "we were called, and I was asked by name."

"Who's- ugh- calling for you?" Mabel asked as she swallowed the medicine quickly.

"Pacifica," Yuki said. Dipper blinked and Mabel shot up, all the color in her face vanishing in an instant. "She asked to speak to me."

"Did she?" Mabel shot towards Yuki, all signs of illness vanished as quickly as dust blown off an old record. Yuki eyed her carefully, and then nodded. "So," Mabel asked, elbowing his side gently, "anything going on we should know about?" she asked with a wide grin.

"She wishes to spend time with me this day," Yuki said, "we are to meet at the mall," Yuki stalled as Mabel made small squeaking noises as her face went red, "and spend time... eh... Mabel, are you well?" Yuki asked when Mabel began to bounce in place.

"No!" she shouted cheerily, "I still feel horrible, but who cares!" she jumped at Yuki and squeezed him into a hug, "awww, Yuki! You're going on a date!"

"Excuse me?" Yuki and Dipper spluttered at once.

"What makes you think that?" Dipper quickly asked.

"Indeed. All Pacifica asked was for my accompaniment in the Mall," Yuki said.

"Right, but did she ask you to bring anyone with her?" Mabel asked. Yuki shook his head. "Did she say anyone would be with her?" Mabel asked again. Yuki, albeit slower, shook his head. "Did she say where you guys would be eating?" Mabel asked with a grin.

"Oh, c'mon Mabel," Dipper groaned, "that kind of assuming is exactly what-"

"Five star, newly opening French cuisine, paid all by her," Yuki said with volume barely louder than a whisper. His face had gone several shades lighter, his usual light-chocolate skin now a pale shade of tan. "I know enough about human custom to say that... that... that sounds like a-"

"DATE!" Mabel roared, and began to hop around a stunned and terrified Yuki.

"I... a date with a human being," Yuki gulped, "I'm... I've seen them happen before, but how would I go about doing so?"

"Yuki, don't worry about it," Dipper rolled his eyes as he pushed past him and his sister, "I think Mabel is just over-thinking things and making you nervous over nothing." Mabel stuck out her tongue at him, and Dipper peered into the shop. He had on his mind the need for a semi-private conversation with a certain redhead. That certain woman, to Dipper's surprise, was not at her counter. "You guys seen Wendy?" he asked. spinning around to the kitchen.

"Huh?" Mabel asked. She too peered into the shop. "Uh, nope," she shrugged.

"Yuki?" Dipper asked. The alien shook his head, as it sounded like his voice was too dry to speak. Uncertain, Dipper looked to his Grunkle. "Is Wendy here today?"

"She took the day off yesterday. But... no, she hasn't come in today," Stan told Dipper, his eyes darting away from Dipper.

"Who? Wendy?" Arline stepped inside, directly behind Dipper. "Hey guys. What's scaring Yuki?" she asked.

"He's got a date with Pacifica!" Mabel cheered.

"The rich blond girl?" Arline asked as she padded off some of the rain from her shoulders, "well, good luck buddy," she sighed and passed by Yuki, who grunted as he stared into space. "Stan, can we talk?" she asked the old man.

"Arline," Dipper called to Arline from across the room, "did you see Wendy's bike outside?"

"Uh... no," Arline shook her head. She turned back to Stan. "When do you have some time?" she asked.

"Pff. Give me thirty minutes. No one's coming into the shop today," Stan shrugged.

"Where is she?" Dipper grumbled loudly, ruffling his hand through his hair. "She should be here today. She should be working."

"She's a teenager," Stan told him, "they do stupid things. Like Mabel, for example," Stan waved a hand at the twin.

"Whoop!" Mabel cheered as she continued to hop around the stunned Yuki.

"But yesterday," Dipper started, "she said..." Dipper looked to his sister, and pulled her close, snatching her from her elated state, "she said something about a goodbye last night."

"Uh, yeah, like a goodnight kiss?" Mabel reminded him.

Dipper growled and shook his head. "No!" he hissed at her, "this is serious! She made it sound like she wasn't going... to come back."

"Dipper, this is Wendy we're talking about here," Mabel said with her usual tone, grinning all the same, "Wendy's tough. She isn't about drama. She was probably just tired and wanted to make sure you got the idea that she was... well, not going to bed... you know what I mean," Mabel said.

"I'm not sure what you mean," Dipper replied.

"Dipper," Stan called over, "look, she's eighteen. She can take a day off if she really needs it. Besides, not like we're going to be getting a lot of guests today."

This did not comfort Dipper. He closed his eyes and looked away, giving the possibilities thought. Less than twenty four hours ago, Dipper had learned Wendy had been dead all along, and that she had been resurrected by some form of magic. That shock aside, he had pushed his hardest to make the night a spectacular one for him, Wendy, and anyone else who may have been around them. Still... those last words from her...

_That's a goodnight and goodbye kiss for you, buddy._

Dipper scowled as he recalled her words. That had to mean more.

"Dipper," Arline's voice shook him, "if you're really that concerned, why don't you go check on her?"

"What?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just drive on over to her house or whatever, and see how she's holding up?" Arline explained. "I doubt she'd mind a visit from you," Arline admitted.

Arline's option wasn't a bad one. In normal circumstances, Dipper would have said it was a great idea. Then again, he knew more than Arline did about his long-term friend: she hadn't been living in her home for almost three years. Heck, she technically hadn't been 'living' for almost three years. Where did she spend her time? His gut clenched, and he nodded to Arline.

"I'll be out," Dipper called as he ran upstairs. Grabbing his keys and coat would be the first step. The rest of the day would be looking for Wendy.

"Mabel," Arline spoke to her student, "maybe you could help Yuki get set up for his big date?"

"AH!" Mabel gasped, "brilliant! Let's smarm up this sucker!" Mabel declared. She then grabbed Yuki, and pulled him upstairs. At some point, he nearly fell, and was actually dragged across several feet before straightening himself. As Mabel darted into his room, she tossed him on his bed and stared around. "As I thought. Nothing good for a date. Stay here!" Mabel declared before spinning about and rushing outside.

She had been gone for probably less than five seconds before she blasted her way inside the room again, startling Yuki with her speed and an avalanche of nice shirts.

"What's all this?" Yuki gasped.

"Dipper's extra shirts he never uses," Mabel explained, "he always keeps them around, just in case of a job, but they'll fit you. I think. We'll find out," Mabel laughed as she tossed one at Yuki. "Try that on," she ordered him.

"Should we ask permission from Dipper to use his clothing?" Yuki asked as he slipped off his borrowed shirt of the Mystery Manor and put on the white and striped button up.

"Well, I told him I was using them," Mabel said, "and either he said something about giving me permission, or he was too busy looking for his keys."

"Uh... Does that count for permission?" Yuki asked.

"Less talky, more dress-upy!" Mabel shouted, causing Yuki to flinch and follow orders. "So, lets warm you up on date terms."

"I am sufficiently heated- ohh," Yuki turned half way through his shirt, and nodded, "and expression. I've heard that before. Very well, you may test me."

"So, when a you and a girl on a date arrive to a door at the same time," Mabel paused, waiting for Yuki to finish the sentence for her. He only continued to struggle with the shirt.

"Buttons are odd choices for fabrication of clothes," Yuki grumbled, continuing to fidget. Mabel cleared her throat, and he turned to her. "Huh? Oh yes, uh... Both go in at the same time."

"... No," Mabel said after a pause, "ladies first. You always hold the door open for a girl," Mabel scolded him.

"Ah."

"Unless they insist otherwise," Mabel shrugged.

"Oh. Then... assume until you are told... otherwise," Yuki thought aloud, his brow furrowing. "Well. I will attempt to keep that in mind."

"Okay. So, you've been eating with the girl," Mabel tried again, keeping a mental tally now of the mess-ups that Yuki had, "and the bill comes."

"Who is bill- oh, yes, payment," Yuki chuckled and nodded. Mabel scoffed as she looked at him. "What?"

"Not the right shirt for you. Makes you skin super-dark and kind of blushed. Take it off... try this one," she threw another button up at him, and Yuki gasped. With a sigh, he peeled off the first one and began to put on the other. Mabel continued with her scenario, "so, the bill has come. Who pays?"

"My word, I have no currency," Yuki gasped as he slipped the shirt in over his head, "how _will_ I pay for a meal?"

"Doesn't matter, Pacifica will pay. But answer the question anyway," Mabel told him.

"Uh... you pay for your own meal?" Yuki asked. Before Mabel had gotten half her sigh out and groaned, Yuki cleared his throat, "and then pay for hers. Yes."

"Unless she really, really insists on it."

"... of course," Yuki blinked and continued putting on the shirt.

"Okay, maybe one out of three," Mabel murmured to herself and posed her next question, "You've left the dinner. There are options for what to do next- Movies, a walk outside, or shopping. The girl turns to you and says, 'what should we do next'?"

Yuki slipped on his shirt, and put a hand to his chin. "Is there a right answer to this question?"

Mabel grinned and pointed to him. "Good!" she said, "you're catching on. The best answer is to insist the lady pick. And if she _still_ won't, then shopping. Even if they're just window shopping, it will give them time to consider what they really want to do. And I like the shirt. Now... what to do about the pants..."

"My word, this is unsettlingly complicated!" Yuki gulped and played at the collar of his shirt, a cream and orange striped shirt. "Not to mention, I feel rather bad about this."

"Oh don't worry, you'll be fine," Mabel told him as she adjusted his collar, "dates always get the best out of us. And hopefully the _actual_ best, not how the saying 'the best' goes, which usually means worst... you know?" Mabel asked a confused Yuki. He shook his head and she sighed. "You'll be fine."

The alien groaned and looked her dead in the eyes. "Mabel, I'm am about to go on a date with someone five times younger than me," Yuki told her. Mabel frowned and pursed her lips. "You see?" Yuki pointed to her face, "that is the kind of reaction I had with myself the instant I figured you were possibly correct!"

"But, Yuki," Mabel rolled her eyes, attempting to shake off the reminder that Yuki is actually older than Grunkle Stan, "your species ages like five times slower than us."

"Nearly. In your years I'm nearly ninety, but in my culture I am still not a young adult. I have another of your... uh... five years? Five years will put me in your culture about... seventeen."

"Beside the point," Mabel said, "Pacifica wants to spend time with you. She'll probably just want to talk with you over a dinner table, or lunch table I guess if it's going to be soon," Mabel admitted, "but who cares about age in the long run anyway! Dipper and I met vampires once who were like super old, but they looked our age. Does that make it weird?"

Yuki gave the thought a consideration, but in the end nodded. Mabel sighed. "Yeah, okay, it was a little weird."

"I just wonder if she intends this to be the start of a longer term relationship," Yuki gulped, "and-"

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this," Mabel grasped his shoulders, staring into his eyes, "but don't get ahead of yourself. Get the date done with, and then you can worry about future stuff. Now, one second," Mabel turned to the foot of the bed, where a small padded ear-bud without a cord sat. She lifted it to Yuki. "Put this into your ear."

"What is it?" he asked her.

"One of Grunkle Stan's old spy equipment. We got them off of the knocked out secret ages from... oh, you weren't here back then," Mabel remembered as Yuki frowned and watched her talk, "but anyway, slip this on, and you'll be able to hear me talk and I'll be able to hear everything you say!"

"Everything?" Yuki asked.

"And more! I'll be able to hear what Pacifica says too!" Mabel declared, giving herself a little shake, "this way I can help out if you need advice! Just tap it, like this," Mable struck Yuki's ear, to which he winced, "and I'll know you want me to feed you a line or two."

"Isn't this... kind of eavesdropping?" Yuki asked.

"Yuki," Mabel sighed as she pocketed her own walkie-talkie, "this is an human habit. We like knowing things and stuff, and what better way or knowing things and stuff than eavesdropping the entire conversation?"

"Uh... I suppose I can't argue with the merits of a culture... even if I'm not entirely certain you are being genuine," he added as he looked at Mabel for a long moment.

"Please, Yuki, this is me we're talking about here," Mabel whirled around, "I'm the queen of dates, and master of young affection, and a former god of love!"

"... Really?" Yuki asked.

"Kind of. I once stole love potions from a cherub. That kind of made me a temporary love demi-god I guess," Mabel shrugged, "but we gotta hurry!"

"Are we not to address my pants?" Yuki asked, pulling on his pockets.

"They're fine!" Mabel said, her mind a buzz of excitement and possibility. "She'll forgive you wearing those cargo pants today."

"Are you-" Yuki couldn't finish his worried thoughts. Mabel had reached over, grasped his shoulder, and once again pulled him out of the room with blistering speed.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel declared as she shouted into the kitchen. Grunkle Stan and Arline, both peering into the newspaper, jumped and stared at Mabel. "I'm stealing Soos for thirty minutes!"

"What?!" Stan started to stand. Arline however jammed her knuckles into his arm with a tap, and he looked to the martial arts master. "Oh. Er... fine, yeah, whatever. Just bring him back to me in once piece!" Stan called after Mabel, who spun back and dragged Yuki through the entire building.

* * *

The car drove to the side of the road, slowing down as the familiar hill before the cemetery presented itself. Dipper parked the car as he stared out the window. Just as rainy and gloomy outside as he had expected it to be, he wandered what he expected himself to say to Wendy when he found her.

Still, it was something he would deal with. With a resolved sigh, he grunted and pushed open the door. As he closed it, several sirens caught Dipper's attention. A pair of police cruises sped by, their lights flashing as their tires sprayed the collecting rain into the air.

"What's going on?" Dipper asked. The curiosity, as potent as ever inside his brain, pondered the possibility of following them. He shook his head. "Not today." He turned away and walked.

Rain slapping against his face as he climbed the hill, Dipper wandered if Wendy even felt the cold of rain in this weather. She hadn't felt anything similar to pain as far as he recalled. What if, all this time, Wendy had never physically felt a thing?

_Then again, she is a daughter of Manly Dan_, Dipper reminded himself, _it's just as likely that she doesn't even care when she's hurt anymore- especially now that it can't kill her. Or at least... she can't die. Right?_

Dipper shook his head. "Whatever. Just find her," he told himself as he reached the top of the hill, and was able to peer down into the soaked and rather large graveyard. "Lots of hiding spots," Dipper murmured to himself as he stepped down into the hilly meadow.

Not to Dipper's surprise, there were scattered plates and trays still scattered around the graveyard. Evidence of the previous night's party stirred his brain to think of the events that had occurred. The dance, the revealing, the kiss... so much had happened.

_Was there really a chance between him and-_

Dipper stepped loudly on a plastic cup, causing him to jolt up and gasp. Zander was a cool guy and all, but his clean-up skills seemed poorer than Dipper had expected. Assuming it was Zander who cleaned up at all. There was a twinge of guilt in Dipper's gut for not helping clean more, but that could come later.

He had to find Wendy, which as Dipper considered his task, would be a harder thing said than done. Each time Wendy had wanted to be unseen, she had managed it. She hadn't been wrong a month ago when the Tulpa attacked the manor- she was the best of their group at sneaking up on people.

She had done it last night, and she had managed all this time to avoid being seen by anyone in town. Granted, miles of thick, mysterious wood was certainly a great place to hide, and the only place Dipper was certain at the moment he could find her was here. It was luck, Dipper imagined, that her brother had pointed them to the graveyard. He was certain that the eldest of the Corduroy brothers had meant to direct them to the grave, and not to Wendy herself.

So she could still be here. Or at least Dipper hoped.

"But where?" He asked himself as he peered around.

There were less hiding spots in the gray light than there were from the black envelopment of the night prior. Dipper found it hard to believe that Wendy could be hiding around him now, somewhere among the graves. He even spotted her and her mothers grave as he walked around. If she was moving around the soaked earth and grassy patches, she was being both silent and quick.

Then a mausoleum appeared before Dipper. With cover from the rain and ample room inside, Dipper assumed it would be a great spot to hide in.

Approaching the stone temple to the dead, Dipper only thought what he would say to Wendy. His brain had only just arrived to the possibility that he wouldn't have the perfect thing to say to her. Without a catchy, clever sentence to deliver, what would he tell her? _Was just wondering what happened to you_ seemed too casual, especially since he was searching for her. Maybe something along the lines_ I was worried about you_ was better.

He turned around and found the would be entrance. As much as Dipper was certain Wendy had supernatural abilities, super strength wasn't among them. That large, stone door seemed solid.

"Maybe there's a mechanism that opens a secret passage," Dipper mentioned aloud as he felt the surface of the mausoleum.

"Unlikely."

Dipper shouted and spun around. The voice was drawl and grim sounding, belonging to the current caretaker of the graveyard and funeral home- Tallman Harker. The pale man with stick-like arms and legs stared down at Dipper from his imposing height, and Dipper collected his breath.

"You startled me," Dipper admitted.

"A feat we now both share," the man with the droning voice stated, as he held a black umbrella above his head. "What are you doing in the cemetery?"

"What? Isn't this public property?" Dipper asked, feeling like the man's questions were somewhat pointed.

"It is. However, you and your friends have a habit of bringing misfortune to my establishment and my own personal health," he growled in one sweeping breath, "as my head only recently recovered from the injury your large friend caused by _hurling_ a bucket of cold water at me!"

"Right. Sorry," Dipper apologized, rubbing the back of his neck, "Soos got excited-" Dipper blinked, and realized who he was talking to: the owner of the Graveyards. The person who saw them the most. "Mister Tallman, have you seen- uh... wait," Dipper paused as he considered how to put his question. "Do you believe in ghosts, sir?"

The older, thin man scoffed. "Of course."

"You see them a lot?" Dipper asked, excited by the lack of confrontation.

"Naturally. Many of the deceased here were workers who died so quickly their spirits never adjusted to the change. They move about at night, trying to make sense of their new land."

"You sound like you, uh, know a lot about this stuff?" Dipper asked.

"My boy, I live next to graves. I am an expert of the dead," Harker told Dipper, "and their hobbies."

"The dead have... hobbies," Dipper quoted slowly.

"Yes!" Tallman Harker proudly said, "they are as diverse as the living, but much more organized in their tasks. One will lift stones with their minds, another scares only young boys, and some have tea breaks with their neighbors once every day after the full moon," Harker counter off, "and some visit other graves, and then leave the graveyard altogether."

"Wait, some leave the graveyard?" Dipper asked.

"The Corduroy girl, for example," Harker stated easily, "she tends to spend time every summer here, and then vanishes during the rest of the year with exception for Halloween-"

"Wendy?!" Dipper gasped, "you've seen Wendy?"

"Mind your volume," the old man hissed.

"Where? When?"

"My word, keep your mind to yourself," Tallman poked Dipper, "you speak to a man of the dead. I'll not betray the sacred trust of gravetender to the dead with their- ahh!" Dipper had grasped the man's jacket. Pulling him closer and down, Dipper glared into the man's eyes. "I suppose that I can make exceptions if the need is dire," Tallman gulped.

"Good. When was the last time you saw Wendy?" Dipper demanded.

"Today and the night before."

"Where?" Dipper furthered. Tallman turned and pointed back to the hill. "She was coming in?" Dipper asked.

"No, leaving," Harker said, "this morning, I spotted the trails of her hair as she glided over the hill. Spirits often tend to find another location of rest-"

"Wendy isn't a ghost," Dipper growled, letting go of the man's jacket with a shake, "she's a... wraith."

"Ha. Wraith's are fairy tales, boy," Tallman scoffed, turning away from Dipper as he spoke over his shoulder, "now please escort yourself from the premise. Else I call the authorities and have you removed."

"You've heard of wraiths?" Dipper called.

"Myths and legends, boy. Now leave!" he shouted over his shoulder as he marched towards a hill that would lead to the funeral home.

Dipper's eyes followed the lanky, shadowy figure as he departed. The man knew something about the type of undead Wendy claimed to be, even if he thought it was just a story. Maybe he could find him in a better mood- or send Mabel to talk to him later. Then again, if this man knew about Wraiths, maybe it wasn't hard to find knowledge.

Dipper finally turned and started back for the hills. Regardless of the man's empty threats, he didn't want to overstay his welcome. If the graveyard was just as active as Tallman described, spirits may mind him poking around.

Within a few minutes, Dipper had walked back over the hill and towards his car, carefully placing his steps as he descended towards the street. The sirens in the town continued to blare, but Dipper focused on the woods across the street. Wendy had been here not several hours before. Dipper could find her, locate her and talk to her, find out what was going on in her head. Then again, he was alone.

He was looking into the deep woods in the middle of a storm, looking for a possibly dangerous creature that he considered a friend and... in his case, more. As his cheeks flushed with realization to his feelings, Dipper pocketed his keys. With a quick glance across the street, he jogged over the concrete and took his first step into the woods. With several loud snaps and crunches of wet branches under his feet, Dipper vanished into the darkness.

* * *

Finding Soos wasn't much of a hassle. Calling for him after barely taking a step outside bore gratifying results, as he flipped his head upside down to greet them. He quickly climbed down from the ladder with his rain jacket, and with the guarantee that he would not be away long, Soos did lead them to his car. The drive would be quick for all, except Yuki.

The poor man had gone nearly silent, and stiff as a board as his eyes were locked ahead. Mabel tried frequently to encourage the alien- reminding him of certain facts about human dating to bolster his knowledge. This only seemed to remind him that he seemed to know little to nothing about human intimacy. Soos was better at reminding him of his chances of success.

"Look dude, as far as me and Melody have discovered, half of the problem is getting the date. After that, it's just seeing if you're both compatible," Soos explained as he turned down the main street.

"But what determines such things- and should I _want_ that?" Yuki questioned. "The possibility of such union should be considered more dire than to be left up for a date to decide," he said. Yuki gulped. "What if this unintentionally starts a purge of non-human relations throughout the world because-"

"Yuki, you're not that bad of a date," Mabel patted his forehead, unable to reach around to his shoulder. "You're also sweet. The only way I see this going badly is if Pacifica is having a bad day, or something."

"There is much left to chances. I do not enjoy chances," Yuki grumbled, holding his face in his hands.

"Well dude, chances are up," Soos said as his care slowed, "because the mall is too."

Yuki grumbled audibly. He and Mabel both turned their gaze towards the windows facing the surprisingly large mall. Mabel grinned as Yuki frowned, their excitement and fear polarizing the longer they looked at the looming building. Soos turned to Yuki, adjusted his hat with a nod, and gave him the thumbs up.

"Go get 'em, tiger-dude," Soos said.

"Joyous," Yuki grumbled.

"Aww, see? You're feeling-" Mabel started.

"That was another attempt at human sarcasm," Yuki said as he stepped outside. Mabel hummed, impressed with the attempt.

"Thanks again, Soos! We'll find our way back!" Mabel said before closing the door.

"Just call if you need me," Soos said, rolling down the window for a moment before pulling away. As Yuki ran for the Mall and Mabel gave Soos a thumbs up, the car sped away, leaving the two stranded in the large Gravity Falls mall, a place Mabel had not been too in some time.

"Ahh!" Mabel sighed as the two made it past the front doors, "about time! I've missed the smell of capitalism and half-off deals!"

"Is there such a scent?" Yuki glanced to her.

"Probably. I think it smells like cheap plastic and foam peanuts," Mabel admitted. She turned to Yuki, "now. When is she going to get here?"

"Uh... in approximately five minutes," Yuki said, turning about and finding a public clock.

"Sweet 'n sour sauce! So, I'm going to go hide," Mabel grinned, pulling out the device from her pocket, "and remember, if you need advice, just tap on your ear! Oh," Mabel had gone over several steps, but she whirled about, and cleared her throat. With a click of a button, she spoke, "testing!" Yuki groaned and held his ear. "One, two, three!" Mabel checked, and Yuki winced with each number. "You can hear me? Awesome!" Mabel checked as Yuki grimaced.

"Please turn down the reception volume, or your physical volume," Yuki asked as Mabel skipped off, and stood behind a collection of signs. "Mabel, did you hear me?"

"Yes," Mabel whispered as she stood behind the sign, "see? Nice and quiet."

"I feel exposed," Yuki said, playing with his borrowed shirt.

"That's just your nerves," Mabel told him.

"Now I am numb. Mabel, what if I have developed a sickness in between the call and now?" Yuki asked quietly as a group walked by, eyeing the teenage looking person who talked by himself. He adjusted his hat as they stared.

"Stop panicking, dude," Mabel told him, "you just need to pay attention," she reminded him, and Yuki patted his hate and straightened himself up. Mabel, from her position gasped and pointed, "heads up! Pacifica at your six!"

"Pacifica is supposed to be meeting me in a minute, not at Six p.m.," Yuki corrected Mabel as a well dressed blond girl marched up behind him.

"Yuki," she called as she approached.

Dropping his hand from his ear and spinning around like a tornado, Yuki faced Pacifica with a gasp. "Ah! P-Pacifica, ah, there you are."

"Hey, sorry about the wait," she said with a roll of her eyes, "my dad only just decided to let me back inside the manor, and he gave me the oldest driver for the limo. Took, like, a minute longer than it should have. God. Anyway," she brushed her hair over her shoulder, and grinned, "glad you could make it."

"Ah... yes..."

Yuki stood there, his arms at his sides as he stared at the blond girl. She stared back, a grin spreading on her face. Soon she giggled, and Yuki began to sweat. With a very fast rush of his hand, he tapped the side of his head. Pacifica, who had been holding back her own snort-like laughs, spoke.

"Tell her how good she looks," she offered.

Yuki nodded as Pacifica wiped her eyes. "You appear within good health this day," Yuki stiffly told Pacifica, "have you been maintaining good sanitation?" Pacifica chortled and laughed.

"I guess. Living with Zander was kind of a nightmare, actually. Can you believe that most people don't have any form of room-service, and that if you want something in your room, you have to get up yourself?" Pacifica asked him, "I thought that I'd end up becoming mad! Had to fill my glass of water at least several times a night."

"Yes, indeed," Yuki said as he quickly tapped his head. Pacifica watched him, blinking as he did.

"Uhh, ask her more about her stay with Zander, and then ask her about food," Mabel told him.

"Tell me more about living with Zander and where shall we eat," Yuki parroted Mabel, who groaned.

"Not like that! In your own words," she hissed.

"I-I mean, uh... Living with a professional musician must have been interesting," Yuki tried again.

"I mean... he's cool," Pacifica shrugged, "he's got a lot of fan-girls to deal with, which I'm sort of his buffer. They don't mess with me, 'cus no one likes messing with a Northwest," Pacifica explained as Yuki dumbly nodded, "and I keep them off of Zander."

"He's got fangirls here?" Mabel gasped to herself, "the jerks!"

"The horrible masses," Yuki stated.

"Excuse me?" Pacifica asked.

"It... they... ah," Yuki swallowed, closed his eyes, and then said, "where would you like to eat?"

"Don't worry about that," Pacifica said, walking next to him, "I've got that part all settled."

"Oh. That saves us time," Yuki sighed.

"Yeah. My parents kind of built this entire mall," Pacifica explained as she wrapped her arm around Yuki's, causing him to straighten up and tense away from her slowly, "so when it comes to the shops, they are all sort of required to let us in regardless. So we're going to 'Mon Petite'."

"This is a... uh... French restaurant?" Yuki asked as he continued to slowly lean away from her. She chuckled and pulled him closer, to which he swallowed.

"It is- you've been to a French place before, right?" she asked him.

"I've only been to the United States," Yuki told her. Pacifica stared at him for a moment. "Yes?" he asked when her piercing blue eyes did not look away.

"And Japan," she added.

"Oh, of course," Yuki nodded, "and Japan. Yes. I lived- live in Japan. Yessss."

Pacifica stared at him. Turning slowly away, Yuki glanced back to Mabel. She was staring at him, and could only shrug. Locking onto the female side of the twins, Yuki tapped his head. Mabel grunted and thought.

"I'd... uh... compliment her dress," Mabel suggested.

"That dress is well fabricated," Yuki spun instantly around and looked at Pacifica.

"Oh, you mean tailored?" she asked.

"Yes. That."

"Thanks," Pacifica grinned and did a half spin, showing off the fancy blue dress with a twirl, "it was custom made for me in the spring. I saw it sitting on the dresser today, and today was just going to be a day I wear it, you know?" Naturally, Yuki nodded while not knowing how to further the conversation. Pacifica giggle and patted his shoulder. "Yuki, I know what's going on."

"What?!" Yuki and Mabel gasped at the same time.

"You're dating for the first time," Pacifica rolled her eyes, "it shows! You're so nervous you're going to ruin it that you're becoming afraid of me."

"Ah... that isn't _incorrect_," Yuki shrugged.

"Well, if you'd like, I'll take charge until you're more comfortable," Pacifica decided, grabbing his arm tightly again, "and we can skip the small-talk and come back to it after getting some lunch."

"I would highly appreciate that," Yuki sighed.

Punching the air with her fist, Mabel silently celebrated as she watched Yuki begin his first official date. It was going good! Well, for Yuki's first date and first cross-species date, he was doing fine. Mabel's heart and soul was brimming with shimmering, shining feeling that seemed to fill her with lighter-than-air bubbles. She just wanted to float over their heads, letting their vibes drift into her face like rose-scented vapor. Yet as she drifted into the day-dream, she realized she was being left behind.

"Crud-biscuits," she murmured as she got up from her spot and began to hurry after them.

Jogging as silently as she could, Mabel stalked the pair as they steadily walked through the mall. Passing various groups of teens, parents, and inbetweens, Mabel was able to locate a bush in which she could see the two by the front of the lavish and intimately lit front of the restaurant. Blue and bronze colors accenting the entrance, a pair of waiters stood at the front to meet the pair.

"Mademoiselle, monsieur," the man before them spoke in a thick accent, "do you 'ave a reservation?"

"No," Pacifica said, looking at her nails.

"Pardon, but eet ees required for all guests to 'ave-"

"Put me down for Northwest," Pacifica told them.

Their reactions changed in an instant. With a flash of recognition behind their gaze, one of them stepped aside while the other spun and opened the door for them. "Enjoy your stay, Mees Northwest."

"C'mon Yuki," Pacifica said and pulled him inside.

"Thank you," Yuki nodded to the two men, who curtly nodded back.

As the door closed behind them, Mabel stared at her new obstacle: finding a way inside the restaurant. The pair of devices only had a fifty foot range, and as she could tell, the pair of daters were heading far into the back. With a grumble, Mabel resigned the idea of bribing or fooling the two at the entrance. There was a chance she may have been able to convince them she was a food critic for the Gravity Falls Gossiper, but she doubted they would care much about Toby Determined's opinion.

She had to find another way in. One that wouldn't give away herself to being kicked out. A way that would allow her to see into the restaurant without a problem. She could still hear their conversation, but static was building, and she could make out that Yuki was growing more nervous. She had to act quickly.

Her eyes darted about, and as luck would have it, a maintenance hallway presided only a few feet away. Approaching it to what sounded like the kitchens, Mabel felt a gentle breeze of warm air. An air duct hung low over her head, surprisingly wide enough for her to fit inside. It wasn't hot enough for her to be uncomfortable, but the material was certainly not quiet.

"And a one, and a two, and a three, four, five!" Mabel leapt up and struck her hands and feet out, catching all sides of the metal shaft. "Hah! Time to do the secret agent stuff!" she hummed her favorite spy theme.

Inside the quiet and polite atmosphere of the restaurant, Yuki nervously adjusted himself onto the chair across from Pacifica. He glanced over her, unwilling to compromise himself of any possibly useful information. She had, true to Mabel's word, dressed very nicely. Her hair had been woven and tied in such a way that flowed past her shoulder and down her side. Yuki would have, in less formal circumstances, have easily found it in himself to compliment her. Yet his mouth was dry to the point of being brittle.

"Yuki."

The alien stirred. Pacifica was staring at him. "Yes?" he asked.

"You okay?"

"Why?"

"You're staring at me," she told him. Yuki blinked and looked away. "Something on your mind?" she asked coyly, lifting her glass of water and spinning it as she took a sip.

"No. No thoughts. Water is a grand idea," Yuki spotted his own water and instantly chugged it.

"Uh- wow. Didn't know you were that thirsty," Pacifica chuckled as Yuki placed the water down, having entirely drowned it in a matter of moments.

"New environments get the best of me," Yuki chuckled, and tapped his head. He made it out to appear as a scratch and smiled, putting his head to rest in one of his arms as he waited for Mabel. Nothing came. He tapped his head again, this time a little more fiercely. Pacifica noticed it this time and looked at him as he nervously smiled.

"Do you have a headache, or something?" she asked.

"Yes. Exactly that," Yuki noted as he tapped his head hard, three times. He had no idea what to say, and no Mabel was there to get him out of this. The sweat was coming back to his brow as he stared at Pacifica. Maybe... he would just have to go without Mabel now.

Then a loud crash and swear came from behind them. Pacifica jolted from her seat and put a hand on her chest as she sighed. Yuki spun around, looked back to Pacifica and got up.

"I'm going to rush to the bathroom," he said as he saw a certain figure rush towards them as well.

"Uh... okay," Pacifica said as she watched him power walk away from her.

As Yuki rounded a corner in the darkened walls towards the restrooms, he spotted the wobbling door that lead to the storage rooms. No second guess was needed. He rushed to them, and there he found a panting Mabel, resting against a pile of boxes. She was soaking wet.

"What on earth happened to you?" he asked of her.

"I lost contact with you," she said, "so, I climbed into the vents."

"The vents were filled with water?" he asked, "were you the source of the crash outside?"

"Uh... yes," she nodded, "fell into an empty kitchen sink. I think they'll be calling security in like five minutes, but I can totally hide in here until the find me," Mabel scoffed as she found a dry rack of aprons, and began to dry herself with it.

"If you were encased in water, what does that mean for your communicator?" Yuki added.

Mabel laughed. "C'mon, Yuki. This is some A-grade secret agent stuff. I'd think a little water will-" she looked down to the device and groaned, "totally fry it's circuits. Aww nuts."

The two looked up. While not as grand as a silent communication between twins, their shared glance told more than their words could in the time it took. Yuki still hadn't gotten the hang of this. He needed pointers, and without a device, there was no way he could figure that out. Now Mabel had no means of communication, and she really, really wanted to hear their talks, because gosh darn it, it was adorable.

"What do we do now?" Yuki asked.

* * *

Indeed. You're going to have to figure something out you two. Maybe if you secretly, like, hold a tin can to your ear with a string attached? It's crazy, but dang it, it would work!

So, taking a little step away from the dramatic and super-feels of the previous awesome episode of Summerween, and back to something a little more light hearted. A date!? Well, a date and a missing friend. So, I guess there is some drama there. I'm going to assume that nearly HALF of you know exactly how the date is going to end. At least a good amount of you think similarly to myself.

The rest of you... make me happy that I can keep surprising you. :3

And hmm, I wonder what was up with the cops in that one scene with Dipper. Hey, I bet one of the last episode's cryptograms had something to do with it... *WINK*

(A trio of police cruisers go crashing through EZB's room, leaving him entirely flattened into the ground with the debris of his desk and computer.)


	44. Calm in the Storm: Part 2

Over a soaked tree he pushed himself and landed with a loud crunch atop branches. He glanced around, as he had so many times before, begging his eyes to spot a trail of red hair, or green shirt.

"Wendy, where are you?" Dipper grunted to himself as he pushed onward.

What had begun as a promising but daunting venture into the woods had only become increasingly cold and wet. To Dipper, the shuddering breath and quaking numbness of his fingers only drove him further and further. Nearly an hour of searching had amounted to absolutely nothing. He wouldn't stop trying.

She was somewhere out here. Dipper felt it deep in his gut, a painful knot that only grew harder and thicker the longer it took him to find her. A lost friend, his friend, who spent her time hiding in the woods like a rejected soul. He couldn't stand the idea that Wendy, the 'too cool for school' girl (as Mabel put it) could see this as her home. No walls or ceiling or warmth.

What if she didn't need to feel warmth? Dipper paused for a moment as he pushed past a tree, feeling the cold trickle against his knuckles run down his arm. What if this, all this horrible wet and cold rain was nothing to Wendy?

He couldn't leave it to chance. Even if she could deal with the cold, it was lonely.

Dipper knew about loneliness. He had gone through several years of it, without a part of his life crucial to his being. Living two years without constantly seeing Mabel, as he had discovered this summer, had been worse than he had imagined. Now that they were together again, Dipper could feel the memory of having to make friends slowly no longer as an accomplishment, but a crippling fear. Going back without Mabel...

He shook his head as he pushed forward again. He already had a task at hand. Distracting himself and dwelling on the past could be done at a time less dire. His friend was missing, and he was going to find her.

"Wendy!" he called out. Dipper cupped his hands to his mouth this time, and shouted. "Wendy!"

Still nothing. Gritting his teeth and tossing his head back and forth to remove the rain on his face, Dipper ran forward. He would find her. He had to!

What kind of friend let another suffer? Be alone? Even the friend who held secrets...

"Who cares?" Dipper said to himself as he remembered the pain of being lied to so many times. Each time she said she went home- it had just been a straight lie- she had come out here, into these woods or the graveyard. Her hesitation to meet with friends or see anyone in the town- another lie- one to keep herself at distance with those who knew what had happened to her. She could stitch cuts so well, and Dipper wondered if she hadn't tried that on herself many times.

Dipper stumbled over a thicken and caught himself by a tree. The pulsing pain in his chest as he piled these feelings on top of one another began too much to bare. With an outcry, he struck at the tree with his fist. "Damn it!" he roared, and then winced. Punching a tree didn't do him any favors. Now he was cold, wet, and had a throbbing hand.

"Just got to keep going, keep looking," he mumbled to himself, shaking his hand from the pain. It was something new aside from all the heavy cold water, and Dipper found it a strange release. Maybe he needed to punch trees more often.

"Wendy!" he called as he ran. His mind blessed Mabel for pushing him to work out with her as much as she had. "Wendy!" he called again. A bush before him presented no challenge. With a heft grunt, Dipper leapt over the four foot tall collection of thorny branches.

The he nearly landed onto a very short man with a red cap.

"WHOA!"

Both figures fell. Dipper stumbled and rolled to the muddy ground, splashing the forest around him with dirt and water. After spitting what felt like a nice mouthful of mud from his mouth, Dipper slowly stood and turned.

"Well, of course the one human who'd nearly run me over would be you, Dipper Pines."

Dipper blinked. That voice hadn't changed in three years. Brown hair and beard, barely at his knees, and his hands at his hips, Dipper quickly remembered who he was looking at. And if memory served, that meant he was very, very deep into the Gravity Falls woods.

"Jeff," Dipper mumbled as he stood up.

"Aw, I'm touched," Jeff the Gnome rolled his eyes, "I had heard you and Mabel came back. Now you're running around the woods like you used to. Just great."

"What are you talking about?" Dipper rubbed off the mud from his face and then pants, staring at the gnome.

"Word spreads. Especially when there's an uneasy peace between Goblins and Gnomes," Jeff said, "makes it easy for rumors to get around. So they weren't lying. Oh well. They usually do," Jeff said to the side, leaving Dipper to stare at him.

"What do you want, Jeff?" Dipper scolded him.

"What do I want?! You nearly ran me over for pete's sake!" Jeff shouted at Dipper, his smaller, mildly high-pitched voice echoing around. A rustle in the bushes caught Dipper's attention, and he spotted another gnome poke his head out. "No, no, Peter, everything is fine. I'll catch up with you- keep looking for those deer droppings." The other gnome glanced at Dipper, hissed, and then darted back inside the bushes. Dipper blinked and stared at Jeff.

"You collect deer-"

"So what do _you_ want?" Jeff demanded of Dipper, his dark eyes scanning the teenager's form. "Trying to find new ways to get taller?"

"That's called puberty," Dipper sighed.

"Whatever. You're the one crashing around the forest like a blind doe. Nearly crushed me," Jeff reminded him. "So, what do you want? Huh?"

There was little to not trust about the gnomes. While experience had made the Pines and the collective of small magical men in the woods enemies, Dipper knew that the gnomes didn't go out of their way to upset anyone. Not without proper provocation. Dipper scowled: maybe Jeff had seen Wendy. "I'm looking for someone," he told the gnome.

"Oh yeah, try anywhere else except the woods if you're looking for normal human people," Jeff nodded, his wide eyes conveying a bitter response. "These woods aren't safe for your type."

"Like I don't know that," Dipper replied. "I'm not looking for a human anyway," Dipper added quietly. Jeff had begun to turn away, walking to the bushes his friend Peter had vanished into. At the second half of Dipper's words, he shook and glanced back at Dipper, his eyes squinted. "What?" Dipper approached him.

"Nothing."

"Liar," Dipper called him out, "you've seen something."

"Dipper, I'm a gnome. When people say they've seen something, they usually mean _me_," Jeff retorted, but swallowed, "unless you're talking about the dead girl."

Dipper gasped. "Wendy?!" Dipper kneeled down to Jeff. "Red headed girl?"

The gnome grinned and crossed his arm. "What's it to you? You going to finally come through with your promise and hook me up with a proper queen?"

Dipper's mouth dropped open. "You went back on that promise when you helped Gideon!" Dipper exclaimed, heat on his neck. "Where did you see Wendy?!"

"I want to know what I stand to gain if I help you at all," Jeff asked of Dipper. This was not one of the days in which Dipper was willing to hear out someone else's requests. Not when another person's well-being was possibly on the line. With a growl, he reached out, grabbed Jeff by the shoulders and lifted him into the air. The gnome yelped and kicked his legs as he saw the ground beneath him grow further away. "P-put me down, you maniac!"

"I'm not as strong as my sister, Jeff," Dipper told him, his tone as cold as the rain soaking into his hat, "but I think I have an advantage here. My friend is out there, and I want to know-" Jeff laughed. "What's funny?!" Dipper demanded with a shake.

"Your friend? Really? That's adorable!" Jeff shook his head, but still stared at Dipper, studying his expression. Dipper made his best attempt at a poker face, but had no effect on Jeff. He nodded. "Oh, you don't know? What happens to those types of undead?"

"Pretend I don't, and remind me," Dipper said.

Jeff looked around. "Put me down, and maybe I will," the said to Dipper, "but consider it an I.O.U. after this. You'll owe me."

"Consider it even for me avoiding crushing you when I leapt over the bush," Dipper demanded. Jeff squeezed his eyes and sighed.

"Fine! Now put me down already!"

Dipper obliged the small creature. Nearly dropping him to the ground, Dipper stepped back and patted his foot against the ground. Jeff was at his mercy, and Dipper was feeling rather controlling. He had been running around without a hope of finding Wendy, and now he had someone under his thumb. He would be keeping him there for just long enough to get some information out of.

Jeff glared up at Dipper as he got back on his stubby legs. "Do you even know what a wraith is?"

"Undead. Somewhere between a ghost and a human," Dipper answered.

Jeff shrugged. "I've heard better explanations, but it's not wrong," Jeff leaned against a tree, and began to pick at his nails as he spoke. "A wraith is a failure. It's the broken cousin to a Wight, and the lesser of a Lich."

"Wait, Wights and Liches are also real!?" Dipper gasped. Jeff grinned, showing a row of sharp teeth to Dipper. "Great. So there are some nasty things out there."

"Used to be, kid," Jeff corrected him. "There hasn't been one of those things in hundreds of years. Well, until that one kid started running around here a few years ago."

"Wendy!" Dipper angrily corrected him, "her name is Wendy!"

"Won't matter in the long run," Jeff shrugged, "she's probably already left the woods by now."

"How could you... what do you mean?" Dipper asked. His breathing hastened as he listened, aware of each word Jeff said.

"There's a curse to those three types of undead," Jeff explained in a tired, slow voice. He sounded uninterested, but Dipper was certain that in those eyes held a morbid excitement of knowing something Dipper did not. "You see, most undead that are physical, you know- skeletons, zombies, ghouls- those rotten guys? They are just bodies. No sense of self."

"Ghosts know who they once were," Dipper reminded him. Jeff sighed.

"Well, a wraith, wight, and lich aren't ghosts, are they?" Jeff poked at him verbally. "They're the mix- they keep their form, but aren't alive. They keep their mind... but..."

"But what?"

"But they lose it over time," Jeff sighed.

"That's not true," Dipper said, "Wendy's been dead for almost three years and-"

"She tell you how horrible it is?" Jeff asked Dipper. "How she can't eat? Drink? Sleep? Hmm?" Dipper sealed his mouth. Jeff was annoying, but he was a source of information the journals had not provided so far. "That's the curse. The curse of un-life. If you keep you keep your mind and body, they never synch up. A living mind in a dead body can't understand why it's not acting the same. It'll still want to do the things it needs to do while alive."

"So slowly, over time, the mind begins to make assumptions, and changes. They can't dream or sleep, so their mind begins to go crazy. Your little friend, red-head?" Jeff pointed to Dipper, "she's started. It could take two years or ten years, but one day, she's going to snap and no longer be human."

"You... you're lying."

"You really think so? Too bad," Jeff shrugged, "or maybe you don't like the truth. Maybe you should look up a story? The story of the Shadow of the Alps?" Jeff asked. When Dipper said nothing, he chuckled. "Doesn't really matter. Your friend's a walking time bomb."

"No. I'm going to help her," Dipper said proudly. "I'm not letting her go through this alone. I'll cure her."

Jeff snorted. "You're kidding, right? Kid, have you done _any_ research into these things? Wraiths? Wights? Liches?" Dipper growled, and Jeff nodded his head. "Unprepared. Not surprising for you kids. Maybe if you had, you'd know that there _is no cure_."

Dipper's body shook. He struggled to stand for a second. "W-what do you mean?" Dipper asked, the strength in his body departing as he considered all the promises he made to himself; to find Wendy, to help her.

They all felt so distant now.

"These curses are made by spells. Old, dark, man-made spells," Jeff told him, "and they're the kind of magic that can't be undone. No one knows the kind of magic anymore. Maybe go back three hundred years," Jeff shrugged, "you could find someone who could help, but these days? She's doomed."

"No," Dipper shook his head.

"Yup. Sorry," Jeff sighed, "for her. If she leaves, she'll have a better chance to not hurt people she cares about. Otherwise, she'll end up on the other end of a fire. The only real cure for those things, after all-"

"YOU!" Dipper roared. He would not stand to let anyone call his friend a 'thing'. He rushed forward and aimed his foot right in the mouth of Jeff. The gnome, for his own dental health's sake, dodged and rolled into the bushes.

"Face it, Dipper!" Jeff's voice echoed as the gnome slowly departed into the woods, out of sight, "she's going to one day be a feral monster. You think you're so good at hunting monsters? Go right ahead and deal with her next!" Jeff's voice roared at Dipper. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do."

Dipper stood rooted to the spot, shaking as he felt the patter of rain hit his hat. "YEAH!? Well, you better go! I'm sure deer crap is more important than... SCREW YOU!" Dipper yelled. With little breath in his body, he stumbled backwards and hit his shoulder against a tree, halting his progress.

The world was spinning around Dipper.

Why had he asked for Jeff's help? It had entirely worked against him.

He was so far now, so far away from his plan. There wasn't a hope in sight to get Wendy back now.

Was she really destined to go crazy?

_I can't eat, I can't drink! I can't even sleep. I want to! So badly!_

Her voice drifted in his head. Dipper gulped as he felt the lump in his throat grow. Jeff had said it- Wendy had already started the process of losing herself.

_I'm just stuck like this! Stuck forever hungry, and thirsty, and tired!_

Dipper wanted to go home. He wanted to be warm. He wanted so much to be different now. The inevitability of losing Wendy to a disease-like-curse and leaving the town that joined him back to his sister was too much for his mind to carry. Dipper rested against the tree, staring at the puddles of mud around him.

Minutes later of hearing nothing but the falling of rain and the echoes of a tortured friend in his head, Dipper swallowed the lump in his throat painfully.

He turned off the tree and started heading back to his car.

* * *

Pacifica Northwest patted her fingers against the table as she swirled her complimentary glass of water between her two fingers. Before her in the dark room of the restaurant lay the table, and a currently empty seat. Several breadsticks covered with shaved truffle and garlic perfumed the air, but did not comfort her.

The date hadn't gone as well as she had planned.

Not for her lack of trying though. She had made certain to get a more private table in the restaurant, and provide anything to her date that he would need. But, as it would seem, her date had a streak for getting sick a the perfectly wrong times. She would ask him "So tell me about your family?" Yuki, or Uik-Dohth as he informed her once, had instantly gone pink and rushed away to the bathrooms. Pacifica later asked if he was feeling sick. His answer was to run off again, and then come limping back, claiming to have something along the lines of 'worms'. He had even collapsed over a part of the rug, and Pacifica had helped him back to his seat.

Pacifica's instincts kicked in the last time Yuki had run off. These kind of things only seemed to happen when someone, or a pair of someone's were around.

Finally he came walking back, and sat down next to her, huffing into his seat.

"Another apology," Yuki muttered bashfully as he took the water before him and drained it again. "I am also suffering from chronic dehydration."

"Right," Pacifica nodded as she eyed her date.

"It couples badly with my worms, and, uh, allergy to certain perfumes," Yuki stumbled for words as Pacifica played with the rim of her water glass.

"I bet," she nodded.

"Yes..."

Pacifica sat still, holding her glass before her as she studied Yuki. His eyes were wide as they were pretty. Was it really contacts he put in? Pacifica had asked him about the color of his eyes, and she had only been told that he wore contacts. Yet she couldn't make out the lining. They were a higher quality than she could have anticipated.

Yet her patience ran thin. "Yuki," she finally said as he slowly reached out for one of the breadsticks.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled and withdrew his hand like lightning, "I am unaware of hu- err- American eating customs."

"Yuki," Pacifica sighed and shook her head, "what is going on with you?"

If Pacifica had been one of those freaks in the woods, she may not have been tempted to laugh. Yuki froze so instantly and entirely, she wasn't sure if he had been petrified or not. The boy before her had locked up so stiffly, it was a miracle he could move again afterwards.

A moment later he blinked and let himself slowly adjust himself. "Whatever do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"You've been acting weird since we got here," she said, putting down her glass, less to distract him with. Yuki gulped and she nodded. "See? You froze up there," Pacifica nodded, "and now you're acting like you're hiding something."

"Ah. Not at all, I assure you," Yuki as he played with the edges of his hat.

Meanwhile, overhearing all of this, Mabel Pines hid directly underneath the table.

It had been a risky procedure. In between the three trips back to the storage rooms, Mabel had acquired a notepad and pencil, and began to doodle between Yuki's updates. When Yuki came in the last time, hyperventilating and scared stiff that he wasn't lying properly, Mabel had asked why.

"How many diseases did you tell her you had!?" Mabel had asked.

"Four," she had been told.

Mabel needed a new plan. So, with an easy bait of Yuki falling, Mabel would sneak behind them and stage dive right under the table and tucker up by Yuki's feet. Now she resided, fueled to not fail her friend, in-between them.

Above, Pacifica wasn't done. "I mean, I've spent some time with you, Yuki. You're shy, I get it," she shrugged, "but you're acting jumpier than I've ever seen you before."

"I am merely experiencing the symptoms of-"

"You aren't sick, Yuki," Pacifica told him with a strong look. Yuki leaned back and rapped his fingers against the edge of the table.

"I... uh..." he glanced down, where Mabel had been hastily scribbling a response. He squinted for a moment as he read. "No. I am not."

"Then tell me what's up?"

"The truth?" he asked her. She nodded and edged closer to the end of her seat. "I have been worried."

"About?" Pacifica asked quickly.

"This," Yuki glanced back down to the notepad Mabel held at his seat level, "the date. I do not wish to mess it up."

"Aww, Yuki," Pacifica shook her head, "don't. There's nothing to worry about."

"That is harder said than done," he assured her.

"Why?"

"I hold the belief that much, uh, 'rides' upon this encounter between us," Yuki said as he fidgeted with his fingers.

"What? What are you talking about?" Pacifica asked, leaning closer. Mabel held back a giggle. It was odd hearing Pacifica use a voice that wasn't commanding, and even weirder speak in a sincere tone. There were bubbling little happy faces all in Mabels' mind. She really cared for Yuki. Her trance of happiness was broken when she caught a glance from Yuki, who leaned back and stared down at Mabel.

With a quick scribble, she wrote 'chat about your situation in a human way'.

Yuki's face trembled. "What?" he whispered to her. The fearful hesitation from the alien was only met by Mabels' encouraging nod. Finally, he nodded.

"Yuki, are you okay? You keep looking at your feet," Pacifica noted.

"It, um, helps me think? Yes. That it does," Yuki shrugged. "You see, Pacifica, I... well, the truth is..."

Mabel watched from her spot, staring up at her friend. Her hopefulness grew to anxiety as his face grew pinker and brighter, the blush growing to consume his entire face. Was this more personal than Mabel had anticipated? Yuki couldn't seem to come to terms with the idea of telling anyone else his story. He wasn't the most imaginative of people when it came to split second decisions- maybe this was a bad idea. Mabel blinked and erased what she had written. Maybe she could quickly give him a new note.

"I, well, I came to America as... my father, you see..." Yuki gulped and looked around.

"Yuki?" Pacifica asked again, in what Mabel found as the softest she had ever been heard.

"Honestly, Pacifica," Yuki leaned on the table with his elbows, putting his hand into his face, "I... I would like to have this date with you. But, I was hoping that maybe, uh, we could go somewhere more private?"

Based on how Pacifica's feet shuffled and went mildly rigid, this idea passed through Pacifica like a streak of lightning. Above the table, Pacifica's eyes went wide, and her confusion was erased and replaced with a patch of faint pink on her cheeks.

"But, only if you wish. This atmosphere, the American- sorry, the French cuisine intimidates me I think-"

"Of course!" Pacifica shot out of her seat with a kick, landing a solid kick in Mabel's face. Mabel gasped and landed roughly against Yuki's seat, who also gasped loudly and stood up. "Oh! Yuki, sorry!" Pacifica quickly stepped to be aside him, putting her hands on his shoulder. "I didn't meant to kick you. Are you okay?"

"Uh," Yuki glanced back to Mabel as she held her cheek in her hands. The throbbing pain was merely a distraction for Mabel, as she held up a thumb to her side, letting her friend know her status was manageable. "Yes. You merely grazed me."

"I felt like I kicked in your knee," Pacifica told him, "gosh, I could have hurt you. You're sure you're okay?"

"I am much more sturdy than I look. Well, physically at least," Yuki chuckled. Pacifica grinned and pointed to a waiter.

"We're leaving. Just bill my folks whatever you need, they won't care," she waved to them nonchalantly.

Mabel gave the retreating couple a good thirty feet before crawling her way out from under the table. She could feel the large red welt on her face where a heel had dug into her cheek. Giving herself a quick fan from her hands, she checked around. No one seemed to have noticed her departure. Unhindered, she hurried after the date.

Only mildly confusing the two imported French hosts at the front of the restaurant, Mabel found herself back outside the enclosed and private atmosphere and into the realm of public shopping mall. Ahead of her, moving towards the exit happily were her friends, one aware of her presence, the other still not.

Mabel's hearing was throbbing with her heartbeat. This was uncharted territory now; no longer did the date follow the guidelines. They were doing their own thing, and Mabel would have to improve to help out her friend. She had to be there, just in case she was needed. So far, he had been begging for her advice. She wasn't ready to abandon him to the wills of the mysterious gods of dating- especially the cherubs.

Yet Mabel's desperation would be tested. No sooner had she spotted them leaving the front doors to the street than she remembered they had something that Mabel did not- a Limo.

"Crumbwiskers!" Mabel gasped as she took off in a sprint, closing the distance from herself to the doors. At the large glass paneling, she only just spotted the two in the car, and they drove off. "Not on my watch! You haven't escaped me yet!"

Mabel, ignoring the heavy raindrops of the warming day, took charge. Sneakers against the soaked sidewalk, she charged forward, trying to following that easily indentified black limousine. Those who dared to forget to heed the pounding steps of Mabel Pines soon met a soaked fate. Mabel was desperate to keep up. Even with the red lights that kept stalling the ride, Mabel found it hard to maintain a distance she felt was safe.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed loudly as she passed none other than Omir Steindorf and a hooded accomplice, who gasped and spun, holding his umbrella over his head while grasping onto the shoulder of his friend. "Sorry!" Mabel gasped again, nearly running into the other.

"Be careful!" he shouted at her, his impressive voice less angered than she expected "the sidewalks are slippery today!"

"Thanks!" she called back with a curt wave. Mabel spotted the limo turn down a street, one that would lead towards the hills to the Northwest Manor. "Dang it all! Fairies of luck, you better help a girl out!"

To her immense pleasure, the Limo was stalled- a long line of police cruisers, their sirens blaring, all blew past the last street the vehicle had to cross before heading up the hill. It was long enough for Mabel to catch up with the car. Then, with her heart nearly freezing, she saw Yuki and Pacifica step out.

"Stealth tactic four!" Mabel gasped. Without hesitation, she spun, turned, and dived into the nearest trashcan.

Her head slowly emerged from a pile of peeled bananas, peering at the two who seemed to be speaking to the driver. "What are you two planning?" she mumbled. This turned out to be a mistake, as then one of the peels slipped into a corner of her mouth. "Ew! No! Gross! Bad banana! Blech!"

Mabel spat and wiped away at her mouth as quietly as she could. Given a moment to check the sanitary levels of her lips, Mabel was satisfied, and then spotted the two walking across the street to a path. Mabel blinked. She had seen that path before- Dipper and Pacifica had gone on it a few times when they dated years ago.

"So, the scenic route, ehh?" she asked with a smirk.

She too followed across the road, making sure to remain at chest-level height. Crouched over and checking all around her to ensure total un-detection, Mabel slinked into the vegetation around her.

It was only her luck that she was able to remain at all warm in the day's rain. What had once been a cold, unforgiving rain now was mild and almost pleasant. Several chances for her to wash out the grime and filth from the garbage presented themselves and she took them without hesitation. After all, she was stealthy enough for the two to be unaware of her presence- what was the risk in using a line of wild cabbage to wipe off her forehead.

"Ah, nice and fresh," she said after taking one of the cabbage leafs and chewing on it.

Her footsteps remain quiet and well chosen. Without knowing it, Arline had taught her apprentice much in the art of stealth- an irony considering the tactics of those who drift towards the path of fire. Yet a good five minutes of following Yuki and Pacifica into the woods, she stalled. They were only a few feet away.

"See?" Pacifica said.

"I do," Yuki said, his voice no longer sounding remotely constrained. He spun about, taking deep breaths, all while holding an umbrella for Pacifica.

"I can take it now, if you'd like," Pacifica said to him.

"I was under the impression that a good date provides for the other," Yuki pointed out.

Pacifica chuckled and gently took the umbrella. "Yeah, but you told me you love the rain. I don't want to hold you back."

"You would not..." Yuki stared at her as she took the umbrella and held it above for the both of them. Yet he chuckled. "That is not what I meant," he said, and took a step away. She followed him, trying to ensure his level of dryness remained constant. "No, no, please stay still." She stared at him, but nodded. With a sigh, Yuki stepped back and stood in the rain. "A good rainfall."

"You're so weird," Pacifica giggled.

Yuki stared up at the clouds as he let the water hit his face. Mabel was shocked at how much his skin shone when water fell down his face. The color of his skin darkened as the light reflected off the paths of water down his skin. Pacifica noticed too, and like Mabel, said nothing.

"There is nothing strange about finding peace in a world's nature," Yuki told her as he pulled his face back to Pacifica. He turned about, "is it not easier to think here?"

"I guess," Pacifica shrugged.

"You guess?"

"I don't know. I've seen the stuff that lives in these woods," Pacifica shuddered, "I'm sure Dipper and Mabel showed you a few things. You know, non-humans," Pacifica pointedly asked.

Yuki blinked and looked away. "I, uh, suppose so."

"Besides, there are plenty of really quiet spots that aren't in woods. I mean, there's all that rain falling around, those annoying birds," Pacifica listed off, "occasional dogs barking or wolves howling... it's anything but quiet."

"I did not intend to imply the quiet," Yuki pointed out to her, "but the peace."

"Oh c'mon," Pacifica said to him, rolling her eyes, "there isn't peace here."

"There is not?" Yuki repeated.

"Animals are eating each other constantly, people are hunting in the woods, lightning could just hit a tree... you know, crazy nature things," Pacifica said. Yuki looked around, grinning as he gently shook his head. "I mean, let's be real here anyway- nature isn't peaceful."

"No?"

"Well, no. Like... ugh, nevermind," Pacifica crossed her arms, still holding the umbrella above her, but barely.

"No, go on, please," Yuki encouraged her. Pacifica looked from the ground to her date, to the vegetation around her. Mabel gulped as she hid behind a tree. Pacifica's eyes seemed to fall by her, and Mabel slunk further in, but it was too late. The blond was already moving closer.

"My dad told me that nature made people the way we are because that's the way it is in nature," she said, and bent low, picking up a ripe but fallen apple.

"Your father told you that?" Yuki asked.

"I don't like my dad much, but... he's got a point," Pacifica shrugged. "People and animals, like squirrels or whatever," she indicated with her hand as Mabel slowly stepped into a bush next to Pacifica, away from the tree while she wasn't looking, "would see this apple tree. We were born with the need to survive, right? So animals come and begin to eat these apples. So more and more would come until there were no more apples. That means this would be the last apple tree that would be here, and they would die out in this area," Pacifica explained. "I don't like my dad's idea, but he has a point. It's not really peaceful, is it?" she asked, and tossed him the apple. Yuki caught the fruit and smiled.

"True. This is very true," he nodded as he walked over, examining the apple tree, "but with animals, when a squirrel eats too much, they become slow and heavy, and a predatory animal swoops in, claiming it's meal. The over-consuming animal is removed and balance is restored."

"Well, humans don't have natural predators, do we?" Pacifica pointed out. "So in the end, we're just greedy."

Yuki snorted. "No, I suppose you don't," he said, walking over and putting his hand against the tree. "I will admit, humans are young as a species. They tend to want to ensure success by accumulating for the now and their future."

"You know," Yuki suddenly turned to Pacifica, "there was a human who came up with theory- I was quite proud of it. It's called the Tragedy of the Commons."

"I've heard someone talk about it at my dad's ball before," Pacifica gasped, "my dad hates it."

"I suppose he might. The idea is that any limited resource- this tree for example and it's fruit," Yuki gestured to the tree, "will be used by humans. Humans will continue to use his as a food source. But as they grow comfortable in their consumption, others will see the benefit of taking more than they need- perhaps to stockpile, or perhaps to market for value. In the end, humans will overuse this resource until there is none, leaving the humans with nothing."

"I once thought that was the truth," Yuki shrugged, "human beings are such a young race that they would not know when to stop eating and consuming and taking. I've seen it happen. But, you know," Yuki said to Pacifica, who stood rooted, listening to his words, "I've seen more of the opposite. There are, upon careful scrutiny of mankind, more who would share and monitor the resources of the Earth. A few bad apples, as I hear," Yuki grinned as he pushed aside a half-chewed on fruit to his foot, "can spoil the bunch, but that's only if you let them."

Pacifica nodded and smiled. "And how would you suggest us humans go about doing that?" she asked.

"Well, based on my studies of humanity, standing against- wait," Yuki gasped and cleared his throat, "I meant to say studies of _history_, not mankind."

"You sure?" Pacifica asked slyly.

The hair on Mabel's neck stood up. Pacifica was not dumb, and Yuki's words had not been carefully chosen at all. He had gotten too comfortable and careful, and she had heard what he said, plain as day. Yuki stared at his date, eyes wide and full of fear. Yet Pacifica watched back, observing her date easily and carefully.

"Let's play a game," Pacifica said after a long, pained pause.

"Sure," Yuki quickly agreed, his word so fast it might have been a cough.

"It's called truth or dare."

"Ohhhh," Yuki said, looking around. Mabel wanted to present to him a sign of her presence. She was certain he was looking around for her, to hopefully help him with this game.

"You know how to play, right?" Pacifica asked.

"Yes," Yuki said with a nod and gulp.

"Well, you're my date, so you can go first," she offered him.

"Uh... okay," Yuki nodded, and tossed the apple right into the bush with Mabel, smacking her in her face. She winced and held her nose, which received the blunt of the damage. "Truth or dare... ah, yes, I know how to play this. Okay," he turned to Pacifica, her blue eyes captivated by his pacing as he slowly had become soaked by the rain. "Pacifica, I choose truth."

She chuckled. "You're so formal about it. Cute."

"Why did you bring me on this date?" he asked.

Pacifica whistled as he cheeks flushed gently. "You don't beat around the bush, do you?" she asked him.

"I fortunately know of that metaphor. No, I suppose not," he chuckle.

"Well..." Pacifica gave a pause, looking at him. "Because... I really like you," she said.

"Ah. That is fair," Yuki replied as he whipped around, his hand scratching at his hat. He had instantly become jittery again- his arms and legs trembling as his back seemed to collapse. Had it not become warmer out, Mabel would have sworn that Yuki was cold.

"Well, my turn," Pacifica said easily, shifting gently, and playing the end of the umbrella. "Hmm... take off your hat."

"W-what?!" Yuki gasped, and put his hands to his head.

"You don't _have_ to," Pacifica told him, "but if you choose not to, you have to follow up a dare with two questions being answered truthfully." Yuki stared at her, his hands slowly falling from his head. A very slow nod was given to his date. "Okay. Yuki... Yuki... Uki Dohth," she reiterated, "what do you _really_ think of me?"

"I think, uh," Yuki shrugged, "you hold amazing promise for a human being. You are sharp and direct, but have a sea of untapped talent that your parents refuse to acknowledge. I enjoy the time I spend with you, and I look forward to our discussions," Yuki added with a sigh.

Mabel could see the constrained sigh that Pacifica fought back. The girl's shoulders fell just enough for a trained match-maker to spot: totally smitten.

"Okay. My second question. Yuki, who are you really?"

Yuki stared at her, his eyes wider than ever before. "I d-don't understand."

Pacifica shook her head, and lowered the umbrella, letting her hair feel the drops of rain. "I mean I tried looking you up. I wanted to know which region and city of Japan you came from, so that when you went back, I could visit you. It's not hard for me- I've got the money. But when I checked with Japanese travel programs," she said to him, approaching him, "they were clear that there wasn't anyone by the name of Uki-Dohth who had traveled to America from Japan. Ever."

"H-h-hod odd," Yuki gulped.

"They even told me that Dohth isn't remotely Japanese," she said to him, not daring to break eye-contact with him. "So I checked with the crappy offices at Gravity Falls- all you got to do is tell them you're a student and they give you whatever, "she added after a shocked look from Yuki. "They made we wait a few days, but yesterday? After the party? They emailed me the whole list of names who had come by bus, or anything, and were staying in Gravity Falls. Your name, Yuki, doesn't come up in anything. You just showed up out of the blue five weeks ago!" she accosted him, "and... I know another thing: you're friends with Mabel and Dipper."

Yuki watched her, his shocked eyes slowly shrinking in their massive, terrified size. Mabel could see that look in his face- the visage of a thinker. He wasn't just watching Pacifica ramble to him, he was taking in everything she said and coming to his own conclusions. Maybe, maybe Mabel reasoned, this would be one of the few times she had to break code and jump into the date. Yuki wanted to be left alone.

Then Yuki reached up and removed his hat.

It was only luck that Mabel gasped with Pacifica at the exact same time. There was no hiding the budding small plant-limbs in his hair that entwined themselves perfectly naturally. Pacifica took a step back from her date, a hand at her mouth.

"So, the day, that one day that everyone thought the clocks messed up for a night-"

"I am sorry, Pacifica," Yuki said to her, his arms loose at his sides. Watching him, she shook his head.

"What are you?" she asked.

"I am Xabvri," he said proudly, "a race of researchers, scientists and explores who came to your planet three years ago. I made a horrible mistake here," Yuki stepped closer to Pacifica. It was a slow, tentative step- ensure it was okay for Pacifica for him to come closer. She did not flinch. "I paid the price for my mistake by becoming an exile on this planet. These here? On my head?" he pointed to his scalp, "they grew green the moment I began to breath your planet's atmosphere."

"I knew it," Pacifica said. Yuki and Mabel did a double take.

"Y-you knew?" Yuki stammered.

"Of course!" Pacifica laughed, "look, Mabel is crazy and loves everyone, Dipper is an egghead," she shook her head, "and then there's you. You fit in with them perfectly. There are maybe like five people ever who hang out with those two who are human, and they're all weirdos. The rest? Monsters and stuff."

"Surely you don't think that," Yuki asked her.

"Well, you're not really a monster," Pacifica assured him.

"And you?" he asked with a grin.

"Just a weirdo."

Pacifica and Yuki both chuckled. Mabel, despite having been kicked and having an apple tossed at her face could still withhold her squeals. This date had been easily the most tumultuous one she had ever attended- including some of her own; dating high school boys was a gamble she had discovered. They had finally come to the point they were really just enjoying their company.

"Pacifica, I want to explain something," Yuki said. She hummed and nodded her head. "I don't age the same as humans."

"I figured," she shrugged.

"No, I am much, much older than you," he said, allowing himself to sound more agitated. "I am over eighty earth years of age."

"You weren't kidding," Pacifica whistled, grabbing his hands, "explains why you're so smart."

"Well, that would... I mean..."

"Yuki, I don't mind," Pacifica told him. "I want to spend time with you. Is that okay?"

Yuki bit his lip. "I..."

"I don't know how your people work and stuff, okay?" Yuki told him, "but if you don't feel, you know, comfortable-"

"I am comfortable with you," Yuki shook his head, interrupting her, "I only want that which would keep you at ease."

"...so, uh, can we date?" she asked. Yuki stared to her. With a flick of his eyes that startled Mabel, he looked directly up and found her. She stared back in the long moment or two that Yuki had to silently communicate with her. Mabel could only do one thing.

Smile and nod. It was okay.

Yuki gave a small, fine smile to his friend, looked back to Pacifica, bent lower to her and graced her a small kiss to her cheek.

After a dainty gasp from her lips, Pacifica grinned devilishly. "Like hell that's all I'm getting from you on our first date." Yuki yelped as the girl leapt at him, wrapping her arms and legs around him for a full kiss along the lips.

Mabel grinned, and finally let go of the tension that had been deep inside this the entire day. They would no longer be needing Mabel. Yet, as she thought back along the events of the day, she came to a startling realization with a silent chuckle.

They had never needed Mabel. The match maker was not needed this instance.

Leaving her friends to kiss in the rain of the wooded clearing under an apple tree, Mabel began her long walk home in the rain.

* * *

The drive back to the Mystery Manor had been silent. Even with the rain hitting the roof of his car and the gentle rumble of the water by the wheels of his cars seemed entirely distant. The scrape of gravel was a distant memory to the boy who was certain he had lost a friend.

Dipper Pines now sat at the edge of the porch, staring at the gravel road that lead him here. The same gravel road anyone else visiting would need to use.

The one Wendy was supposed to come by.

His gaze was constantly locked onto the horizon of the road. Nothing would break it- even the pouring rain keeping him soaked to the bone that splattered in his eyes was incapable of tearing his sight away. Instead, Dipper sighed and continued to stare ahead.

She was out there, somewhere. He knew it.

"Hey."

Dipper barely shifted himself, turning to the right. Stan had emerged from the door. Dipper spied slightly behind him was Arline, who spotted Dipper.

"We can chat later," Arline told Stan.

"Yeah, you stay inside," Stan shrugged, "I could use some fresh air."

"Fine. I'll get Soos."

Arline stepped back into the building as Stan stood next to Dipper, leaning towards the building against a support. Without looking to Dipper, Stan kept an eye on the soaking teenager. Dipper could feel the scrutiny from the corner of his grand uncles eye. There was something similar to worry there- masked behind the face of boredom. Finally, after a few solid moments of silence accompanied by the patter of rain, Grunkle Stan spoke.

"So, you finished being sodden dork?"

Dipper looked away and stared back at the horizon. Grunkle Stan grumbled incoherently and sat on the couch behind Dipper.

"You know, I figured this day was going to come," Grunkle Stan said. Dipper whipped his head around.

"What do you mean?!"

"Wendy. Not coming to the Mystery Shack- err- Manor one day," Grunkle Stan shrugged. Dipper stared at him- it was odd for Stan to forget his prized building over anything. "What? I'm old and senile. I'm allowed to forget something's name from time to time."

"She should be here," Dipper mumbled as he turned back, putting his chin against his knees.

"She's got her own life to live, kid," Stan said, no longer tethered by a mundane need to subject Dipper to his opinion. Dipper could feel the experience coming from under his tone: Stan was speaking from his own past. "Sometimes people go where you can't follow them. All you can do is just hope they'll come back as the person you miss, and not someone you want to leave."

"You're talking about Stanford," Dipper muttered, glancing behind him. Stan shrugged.

"Maybe. He wasn't the same," Grunkle Stan told him, now watching that same horizon. "Wendy isn't the same. She's gotten older. She's changing," Stan continued, "becoming a person who she'll be most of her life. I always thought the day would come she'd just not show up. I know she wanted to leave this town. Her heart wasn't meant for a town like this. She was like her mom."

Dipper gasped and turned. Stan was looking at Dipper now. "Yeah, I knew her mom," he shrugged, "was a doctor- nurse for the hospital. Lived in the city, came here for the work. She and Wendy are really similar."

"But... she's been through so much," Dipper said aloud, trying to sort through his thoughts, "what if she needs isn't to be alone more, but to be near people?" Stan was quiet. Dipper turned around, looking to his grand uncle. "Well?"

"What do you want me to say?" Stan asked Dipper as he shrugged. "Look, sometimes we know what we want, sometimes we think we know what we want. Getting it right gets you gold, but getting it wrong... well, you've seen what happens when you get it wrong," Grunkle Stan said, looking to the roof of the cover. "People change. For better or worse, kid."

"But if we can make it better-"

"Dipper," Stan leaned forward suddenly, looking at Dipper with an intense, direct stare, "I thought for sure this was going to be her last summer working here. I've been counting the days until she decides she's done. But I'm only her boss. You want to do something? You're her friend." Stan pointed ahead. "What's stopping you?"

Dipper stared, his mouth having dropped open. There were so many days in Dipper's past he could remember the feeling of oppression and dark pressure from Stan. This day, he was giving Dipper something he rarely could- hope. Suddenly numbing cold burst into fire, and Dipper couldn't sit. His legs jolted up, and Dipper ran ahead.

Behind him, Grunkle Stan called- "Just get back before it gets too dark! You've been out all day!"

Dipper couldn't bother to listen. He had hope. Hope from a man who meant worlds to Dipper. It was enough to fuel the largest fire Dipper had felt in a long time. Long enough to forget the pain of hearing Wendy's shudders, and seeing her tears. He now remembered the feeling of her warm lips, her deep green eyes, her perfect long, red hair.

Gravel was tossed up behind each footstep, thrown behind him from how hard he pushed forward. The wind was mix with falling rain, and the world was a blur. Somewhere in these woods, he could find her. He just had to look hard enough-

Dipper's mind called for an immediate brake. Slowing down to a jog, and then to a complete, chest-heaving stop, Dipper recalled. Something about the rushing wind by the gravel road stirred something in his head. A memory- something so distant and vague that he could have, in any other situation, entirely discounted it. The feeling was too real this time.

He remembered- that night before finding the warlock, Dipper had driven to town. Something had passed over him, in the treetops.

Something with long streaking red color.

Like her hair.

With a sigh, Dipper turned his gaze upwards. There was nothing.

He groaned and looked around. He couldn't just discount the feeling now- he had committed to the idea. There was something nearby. To hell with Jeff's warnings! He could still find Wendy!

Dipper ducked under the tree, avoiding now the constant patter of lighter rain. Somewhere in the clouds, the rumble of lightning shook the sky. Dipper glanced around as a flash of light shook the dark forest into a stark reality. Yet, to his surprise, something did catch his eyes. Something, hidden in a bush, caught the light and reflected it.

With only the smallest hesitation, Dipper walked forward, and pushed aside the branches. It was a bike- Wendy's bike. Not only that, in the surprisingly thick, dry underbrush, Wendy's bag rested, only mildly wetted.

He stood up, putting a hand on his forehead as he chuckled. She was nearby. He wanted to laugh, look up to the sky. She wasn't far off. He hadn't left the woods around the shack!

Another crackle of thunder had Dipper glance upwards, uncertain about his position in the weather.

Then his heart stopped.

There.

Resting against a thick branch of a huge tree nearby, some eighty feet up, Wendy Corduroy sat, staring off into the distance towards the Mystery Manor.

"Wendy!"

His voice would not reach her. Either the combination of the rain or the thunder, Dipper's calls only served as a reminder to himself the distance he had to meet. She was still very, very high above him. "WENDY!" he roared, putting his deepest core into the scream. She still did not turn down to him. Frowning, he found the tree. There wasn't the faintest sign of a low branch on her tree. He imagined she climbed it the same way she did with all impressive trees- a belt and the press of her boot.

Yet, to Dipper's luck, there was another tree just barely twenty feet away that he _could_ climb. With a jump and reach, Dipper began his frantic climb up the side of the tree. Soon, he was ten feet up. A swing with his foot and grunt, he was twenty feet up. Thirty, then forty, and then fifty. Finally she was close enough to talk to, even at a distance still.

"Wendy," Dipper said.

He could see her fully. She was soaked all the way through. Her hair stuck to her sides as she rested against the side of the tree, yet leaned on her knees as she stared outwards. Her eyes were glued to a spot as she seemed in a daze.

"Wendy!"

"Go home, Dipper," she told him.

Dipper balanced himself as he processed what she said. "N-no," he told her.

Wendy sighed and moved her gaze to him. Never had she looked so empty in her eyes. "Dipper, I told you I was going. You should go home, where it's safe."

"You didn't come to work today," Dipper told her, still some ten feet below him and twenty five feet away. She shrugged.

"It... didn't really matter. Not after today."

"Why?" he asked desperately. "Are you really going to leave?" Wendy looked away as she nodded. "Why?!" Dipper asked, his voice straining from the agony of her answer.

"I can't."

"Can't, or won't?" Dipper ordered. Wendy glared back to him.

"Dipper, even if people are cool with me being around," she snapped back, "imagine how it'll look in five years, ten years, twenty years- and I still look like this!" she told him. "Or how... how I'm going to go crazy."

"You don't know that," Dipper lied to her.

"I looked what I am up," she told him, still looking away. It made Dipper's throat close that she wouldn't look at him. What was so important that she wouldn't look him in the eyes for more than a few seconds?!

"So did I!" Dipper shouted, the anger getting the better of him. "It's all magic! And magic is just another type of energy used to cause things! And results can be altered!"

"If you knew how bad I'm done for," Wendy quietly said, "you'd leave me alone and let me vanish. It's better this way, Dipper," she told him just as lightning crashed over head.

More crashes of lightning spurred Dipper. His heart raced. He was angry at her; so desperate to see the kind of hope he had been given. "NO!" he burst out, making her turn away and look down him, "I'M NOT GIVING UP!" He started back to the end of his branch, and stretched his legs. He would need them at their best for his next feat.

"Dipper, don't you dare," Wendy said, turning fully, her feet now dangling down, "the closest branch is like twenty feet!"

"Well, I'm going to make it!" Dipper told her.

"No! You won't! I wouldn't make that!" Wendy shouted as Dipper lowered himself.

Dipper closed his eyes as he prayed his plan would work. This all came down to a bit of faith, and as far as he was considered, it was almost always a gamble. Sometimes though, it had to be worth it. At least, to him, Wendy was.

Dipper ran forward. Each step was carefully taken, and then he felt the last step before he ran out of stable support, and he leapt. Yelling as he catapulted himself into the air, Dipper flung his arms forward. Reaching at Wendy's branch was impossible, but maybe the one right underneath it wasn't.

Or... maybe it was.

Suddenly Dipper was beginning to fall. His fingers passed through the softer ends of the branch as gravity began to take it's toll. Dipper was falling.

"NO!"

A hand reached down, grasping at Dipper's foot. With a gasp, Dipper was halted from his life-ending fall. His hat fell away, falling far to the ground. Hair soaked and face wide in shock and fear, Dipper looked up to his feet. Wendy had wrapped her feet around a branch and dived down for him.

"You freakin' idiot!" she screamed as she slowly began to tug him up. As he scrambled up with her, pushing himself up to her spot, he heaved and gasped. She was too, and he looked up to her. She didn't need to breath, if she followed standard undead stats.

She wasn't heaving. Wendy was crying.

"You could have died!" she told him, grabbing him by the collar, "what the heck, dude?!"

"I had to reach you," Dipper barely managed to splutter.

"And what would have happened if I had missed?!" Wendy asked of him, her arms moving between motions of pushing him away and then grabbing him. "You would have died! What then, huh?! How am I going to see you if I can't follow you?! How could I just let... let the last thing I remember of you be seeing you fall to the ground like that?!"

Dipper's mind froze as he heard her. There were many things to be said to the typical fifteen year old about the limits of mortality. That was not among the ones he had ever expected to be told.

"I... I..." Dipper stumbled, as he did so frequently with Wendy, "I couldn't, just, you know."

"Dipper, you know what I am," she said to him slowly, "you know I can't be cured."

"Yet," Dipper added.

"Whatever!" she sighed with exasperation. "Why can't you leave me be then?"

Finally Dipper found his tongue, and connected it to his brain. "Because you're, even if you are what you are, my friend." Wendy sighed, but Dipper pressed on. "Wendy, please."

"Please what?" she asked, so timid sounding that it scared Dipper. It didn't sound like her to be so taken off guard.

He had to ask. "Stay with me. Stay with me and Mabel. Here."

"Where?" Wendy asked, shaking her head. "I don't have anyplace I can stay now. People know I'm around here. If they see me, it's not like they can just be like 'huh that was weird'," she added in a deeper, strange voice, "they'll know it was me."

"Then stay in the Manor," Dipper asked. Wendy shook her head. "Why?"

"You think Stan will say yes?" she asked him.

Dipper shrugged. "He's done weirder things."

"Dipper-"

"Wendy, please?" Dipper asked her, reaching over and taking her hand. "I don't want you out here, or somewhere else. I... okay," Dipper relented his false pretense of knowing how to help her, "I don't know what to do about the curse. But I'll find it. I swear I'll find it."

"How?" Wendy asked.

"I don't know," Dipper honestly said, "but I will." Wendy held her gaze away. There was thought and conflict in those eyes, even if Dipper's own could not look directly into them. He dared to give himself the strength to reach over and turn her look to him. "If you can reach out and save my life like that, can't you let me try to do the same?" Dipper asked.

Wendy's eyes broke. Through nothing more than the trust of two close friends, or whatever they were becoming, Dipper knew one thing.

"Okay," Wendy said, "I'll stay."

"YES!" Dipper cheered, and nearly lost his balance, "whoa! Well, c'mon, come down from this tree already!"

"Just one last look," Wendy said, and turned her gaze.

"What are you looking at anyway?" Dipper asked. Wendy pointed, and Dipper aligned himself to be next to her. It must have been nearly a mile away, but somehow Wendy had found it. The one spot in a million that showed her the perfect view to her dad's house.

Celebration was nearly instantly required. The entire way down the tree, Dipper was promising to begin the search. Wendy chuckled, beginning to grow into a lighter mood with Dipper's happiness in waves that never ceased. His happiness wasn't even stifled when Mabel leapt out off the road and onto Dipper's back, trying to tackle him to the ground. He merely laughed and ran in cicles, stunning both women next to him.

Dipper's life had become millions of times better. He had saved himself one friendship he never wanted to lose.

Walking back to the Mystery Manor, chatting about how Mabel stalked Yuki on his date (which shocked Wendy), and Dipper telling them how hard he looked (which equally shocked Wendy), the three were finally met with Stan, on the porch. Wendy had gently laid her bike to the side when he addressed her, cutting through the twins rapid explanation of what they wanted.

"So, you finally decided to wise up and stick around town?" Stan asked her. Wendy chuckled.

"Actually, I was kind of hoping I could stay here for a bit," Wendy asked. Stan laughed.

"Sure. I think after you living in the woods alone for two years, you'll probably want a change of pace."

"That's right- wait," Wendy gasped, staring at Stan as the twins gaped, "you... you knew?"

"Grunkle Stan!?" the twins barked.

"You three forget," Stan told them as he moved towards the door, "I'm one half of the original mystery duo. You really think never blinking, for entire days on end didn't pass by me?" Stan asked Wendy with a chuckle. "But hey, you're handling it well. Now, I don't really have a spare bedroom, but-"

"It doesn't matter, really," Wendy shrugged, "as long as I don't suddenly catch fire, I should be okay."

Stan guffawed and waved them inside. "I was hoping you'd stick around. Face it, you also want to be here- just not for the reasons you thought," Stan told Wendy, "and besides- if there's any place in town that should house the crazy and unusual, it's mine. And you're crazy and unusual."

"Grunkle Stan, if you knew about her," Dipper asked, "why didn't you ever extend an invitation?"

"Yeah!" Mabel added, "she was out tarzan-ing in the woods!"

"Just without a loincloth," Wendy added.

Stan sighed and faced them again. "Look, I would have, okay?" he said with a worried scratch on his neck. "As far as I was concerned, as soon as I figured out what happened to her, I wanted you to be safe. But what could have happened if you hadn't been ready for people to know about you? Huh?" Stan asked, "if you knew that I understood, would you have stayed around? Or run?" Wendy pursed her lips.

"Probably... run," Wendy admitted.

"See?" he stated.

"Stan."

As the three entered the building, they all found Arline watching them. Her arms were crossed, and no smile was present. Stan nodded.

"Right. So, uh, we have a Mystery Manor Staff Meeting, and that includes her, and especially you two," Stan pointed to the twins.

"Arline is invited to a meeting?" Mabel gasped, "does that mean she's going to be working here?!"

"In a manner of speaking," Arline shrugged.

"Look, it's more important than that," Stan told them.

Dipper looked at Stan. Him, standing next to Arline without throwing some sort of low-blow gag or insult was odd. Something was going on, and if they were calling people in, it meant something they all needed to hear.

"Something is happening," Dipper guessed.

"Happened," Stan corrected him. He sighed, and put his fingers onto the bridge of his nose. "We've got bad news."

Arline nodded, and spoke for Stan. "Last night the warlock escaped."

* * *

There you have it. The calm is over. As would be the eye of the storm passing over, the raging weather is about to return. I hope you all enjoyed our little break from the craziness that are the 'intense episodes'. And for those of you that miss them- don't worry. They're coming back.

I mean, the Warlock isn't the kind of guy to let a grudge go, is he?

No. the answer is no. I would know; I wrote him.

A big thanks to my guest reviewers who keep making me happy! And an equally big thanks to my friends and reviewers who have accounts so I can reply to them! SERIOUSLY GUYS: If you review my story and want me to reply, make an account. I talk to people. Just ask them return reviewers! XD

So there you have it. The next Episode is called 'Monster Politics'.

So, seeya guys next- (Crashing through the wall, the tree Dipper jumped from crushes EZB in one fell swoop.)

* * *

**23-8-1-20 23-15-21-12-4 25-15-21 4-15 6-15-18 12-15-22-5?**


	45. Monster Politics: Part 1

"Keep yourself upright- at minimum, don't lean in like that."

"Mabel leans in though."

"You don't fight like Mabel. Don't lean in: you'll only hurt yourself.

Dipper sighed. A hand was held above him, offering him a boost. Without a second thought, he took it from his newest mentor and was raised up with a rush.

"Is it really that big a difference between us?" Dipper asked Arline as he dusted himself off. She snickered and nodded.

"Oh yeah. If you ever have the chance to step back and watch yourself fight," Arline shrugged, "I don't know, record yourself, you'd see how different you two approach the same issue."

"Yeah, doofus!" Mabel called from the couch, where Grunkle Stan laughed next to her, holding a soda in his hand. Waddles oinked next to him, resting beside the sofa.

"You're the doofus!" Dipper retorted.

"Switch," Arline patted Dippers shoulder, "Mabel, you're up."

"Get to watch a pro work!" Mabel told Dipper as they passed one another.

"More like get to watch your master wipe the floor with _you_ now," Dipper smirked as he took his seat.

"Like it was any different with you," Grunkle Stan chuckled.

Dipper grumbled. Sitting down next to his grand uncle, Dipper let the sores and bruises of the previous sparring subside. Whenever Mabel was done, he would be going up again, like it had been for the past week.

It had been like this since that meeting, nearly a week ago.

After the news of the Warlock, Graupner Kinley, having escaped got to the whole crew, the tension around the mystery manor had doubled. The idea that this man was able to escape from the Gravity Falls jail wasn't that large a stretch- too many individuals had done so in the past, including Grunkle Stan.

It was the level of ability he had shown in doing so.

Arline had explained it. "I'm not a magic user, but I've worked with and against them in the past. The more precise a spell is, the harder it is to cast generally," she had explained with the whole crew listening late that night after Summerween, "and this one was perfect."

"We're talking an entire jail cell wall of brick, completely re-arranged. They had been all pulled out and layered as they would have been if some shmuck had just built the wall that way," Stan had added angrily.

"Why did it take authorities so long to detect this?" Yuki had asked.

"Because," Arline shook her head and held her face in her hands. Stan took up the cue.

"Because the Gravity Falls police department is a joke, for starters?"

"They thought the cell had always been like that at first," Arline groaned, "and it gave the guy a half our lead on the cops. He could be anywhere now."

Dippers fingers clenched the ends of the sofa, thinking back to that meeting. It had made Dipper realize how lucky they had all been. That day, the entire group had split up: Mabel at a distance from Yuki, Dipper out in the wilds looking for Wendy, and three back at the manor. Had the Warlock run into any one of them, someone could have been hurt, or killed.

It was this realization Dipper shared that caused an agreement to be settled on: the mystery manor watches out for itself. For now on, if anyone was going anywhere, they went with at least one other. This wasn't as much of a problem as they had made it sound- as the twins settled on not traveling alone anymore, Soos could stay at the shack for a few days without problem, and Wendy was now permanently residing in the manor. There was always someone to be with when leaving.

Yet, as Dipper watched his sister charge at her master, leaping up into a feigned kick that lead into a driving punch, Dipper worried.

Not for the Warlock. Dipper kept telling himself that the man was a joke. He was a coward; running constantly from Dipper and Mabel while throwing whatever magic he could behind him as he fled. Not only that, any attempt to sound intimidating was lost from his stupid stutter.

It was the possibility he had help now. There could be another one of these warlocks out there now. Earlier the past week, Dipper had tried looking up more specifics towards people who studied magic, only to find that even more of the books of the library had been stolen. Miss Isoar had commented on their status as, "having a hefty late fee."

Yuki had been, as he always was, the calm and thoughtful of the group. Quickly after discussing the possibility of there being more spellcasters to deal with, he suggested finding them before they could act. Dipper had loved it; at least until Yuki explained himself.

"This may just be a large misunderstanding," Yuki had explained, "many times in various cultures, battles and wars are fought all under a lost chance to compromise. This very well may be one of those incidents-"

"The guy literally wants power," Dipper remembered cutting in angrily. "He sliced my arm open to prove it."

The determination in Yuki's words faltered, but he had continued. "This is a determined, resourceful person. Why shouldn't we attempt to turn his resourcefulness into something constructive?"

"Yuki doesn't have a bad point," Wendy stepped in as Dipper's face heated up, "but until we have that chance, if we ever do, we need to assume this guy means bad for us."

Stan had agreed with Wendys stance. Safe and steady in the face of opposition. Should the guy come after them, they could present a strong face together. Until then, assume he was watching with a steady, ever angry eye.

"We should go look for him," Dipper mumbled on the couch.

"He's not going anywhere," Stan quietly told him.

"He could be."

"He won't."

"How can you be so sure?" Dipper asked, his brow furrowing.

"He reminds me of my brother," Grunkle Stan shrugged, "in an annoying, stubborn way that makes _me_ look compromising."

"Don't worry," a voice from the door added, catching the two off guard. Wendy stood inside, watching Mabel practice with deliberate eyes. "This dude tries coming after us, we'll be ready."

Dipper's eyes fell onto Wendy as he studied her. There was a new appreciation between them since their renewal of their friendship. Wendy had become closer than ever before between the twins- now almost always in on their plans. While she never participated with the fighting they did, Dipper always caught her smiling as she watched him spar.

Inside the boy, there was a revived interest in Wendy. He couldn't remember a time he hoped that anyone was watching him fight than now. Every moment that Dipper knew Wendy was to watching him duke it out, he put every ounce of strength into his attacks. He had to make sure she knew how hard he was trying.

It was weird though. She wasn't… alive. She was dead, but not in body. Not technically, at least. Through curiosity and testing, the twins, Wendy and Soos had done tests to her mortality. She seemed to have no limit to the amount of blood she could have removed from her body, and her pain threshold, already established as extraordinary, now rested at 'godlike'.

Even with all these benefits, Wendy was still cursed. A moment would go by as one of the inhabitants of the manor would take a long sip of water, or chew on stale candy, and they would catch Wendy breaking away from a wishful stare. It made living with her a near constant state of pity and self-loathing, as every moment they took something for granted, they would be reminded of her condition. Always hungry, never sated; always thirsting, never quenched.

It made movie nights with Wendy easy though. While she was always tired, she was able to shrug it off as long as she kept busy.

Dipper realized suddenly how long he had been staring at the freckled girl, and that she had been looking back. He blinked and quickly looked away, feeling hot in the face.

Just ahead, Mabel fell to the ground with a loud 'oof'. As Arline sighed and lowered her stance, Mabel grumbled and crossed her arms while lying down, pouting.

"One of these days I'm going to get you," she said before leaping back up.

"I hope so," Arline nodded, "compared to how fast you're learning, you'll be able to overtake me in a few years no problem."

"A few years?!" Mabel angrily repeated, her arms at her side. "Maaan!"

"Mabel, dude, c'mon," Wendy called out, "this is discipline stuff. Can't rush it."

"Hah! Yeah right," Stan chuckled, "you can always rush things."

"Can't rush things and get them effectively," Arline corrected.

"Don't know what you're on about," Stan shook his head, "as far as I've been able to tell, you just need to be a genius. Then _boom_! You've learned it."

"I suppose you're speaking from experience?" Arline asked, crossing her arms as she glared at Stan. "Picked up boxing in only a week?"

"Who says that I was ever taught?" Stan grinned.

Dipper shook his head a growled. "You were sent to classes against your will and you sucked until you got older," he said. Stan spluttered as Mabel giggled with Arline.

"Well, I at least learned faster than most shmucks!" Stan protested.

Arline waved him over. "Then come over here and throw your bit in."

Stan blinked. "What?"

"Come over here and show us what you got, big guy," Arline repeated. No malice in her invitation, Arline smiled only warmly at Stan. The hesitation was palpable, but as the moment passed, Stan did stand.

"Mabel, step aside sweety," he said as he passed by his grand niece. "Time to watch a pro at work."

"Right," Mabel smirked.

"Hey Soos! Yuki!" Wendy called into the shop, "Stan's going to spar Arline!"

Stan nervously turned his glance to the windows, where sure enough two faces poked their gazes out, watching Stan with both elation and nervousness. "Get 'er, Mister Pines!" Soos called through the window as Yuki squinted. Dipper awaited as eagerly as Mabel: Stan may be a loud-mouthed boaster, but he could throw a heck of a punch. They doubted Arline was going to go as hard on him as she did the twins.

Yet as Stan stretched his fingers, she closed her eyes, and spun harms rapidly. Two cycles in mid-air whipped around, Arline closed her composure and grunted. Her friendly demeanor had evaporated as she stared and watched Stan.

"Oh, going to take me seriously, are you?" Stan asked, his eyebrow cocking up as he grinned, "good."

Stan cracked his knuckles once, and took a step forward to ready himself.

His step must have been charged with power, as the ground then shook. Waddles squealed in surprise and leapt up to his feet.

"Woah!" Mabel declared, "Grunkle Stan is on the paths of earth!"

"What? No I'm not!" Stan declared, staring at the ground.

Dipper had pushed himself off the couch. That definetly wasn't intentional by Stan. Wendy also stepped outside, followed closely by Soos and Yuki. Scanning around them as the tension between the two fighters evaporated, Dipper spotted the source. He pointed and gasped. "Smoke!" he shouted.

A large plume of smoke billowed rapidly over town.

"My bike is right there!" Mabel pointed as she rushed over to the couch, where her jacket rested. Reaching inside for her keys, she and Dipper raced to her bike, hopped on, and started the engines.

"Wait you two!" Stan yelled at them, "it could be dangerous!"

"We'll be fine!" Dipper called as Mabel spun the bike away.

"We're going with each other!" Mabel shouted, and then raced ahead.

The town was in an uproar. Darting between cars driving away from the black trail that lead miles into the sky, the twins grew closer to the danger. There was no time to communicate a plan of action between them, but they were ready. Unspoken and silent, they had each other to rely on.

As long as they had that, it could be assumed they could not lose.

"Guys!"

"Grenda! Candy!" Mabel said as she slowed her bike. Through the crowds, Mabel's pair of friends stepped out. They had been running past the fleeing residents towards the twins.

"Something caused the gas station next to Bargains Depot to explode!" Candy hurriedly explained.

"Yeah! Fire's CRAZY!" Grenda shouted.

"You two are okay?" Mabel asked.

"We're-" Candy started, but Dipper patted Mabel's shoulder.

"They're fine! Warlock could be there, we need to go!"

"Okay, hold on!" Mabel shouted.

With a screech of tire, Mabel took off once again.

With their directions clarified, Mabel was quick to bob and weave her way around parked cars and down alleys. Only a minute separated meeting their friends and arriving at a burning building. They were alone now, and Dipper quickly rushed off the bike. The gas station had been blow off the planet, and half the store had gone with it- leaving a burning wreck in it's place. Dipper and Mabel were more than shocked to see no bodies laying about though- this wasn't just any accident.

"Anything?" Dipper asked as he peered around, trying to approach the pillars of fire and smoke.

"A whole lot of nothing," Mabel groaned as she craned her head around. Then she did a double take on her search. "Dipper?"

Dipper spun and looked her way. His gaze followed hers, and he found himself staring at the opposite end of the Bargain Depot. Closest to the forest was the greenhouse- its glass casing entirely shattered. Moving just out of sight appeared to be something small.

A collection of figures wearing tall, red hats shuffled out of sight.

"No way," Dipper gasped.

He and Mabel ran as quickly as their legs and feet could carry them to the other side of the building, through the pieces of burning debris and around the trails of smoke they caused. To Dipper's and Mabel's understanding, there was an unspoken rule that prevented...

They arrived and turned the corner. The entire greenhouse had been looted. Only small flowers remained- the larger trees and tropical plants had all be taken away. Rushing into the thick brush of the forest was a line of small, squat men in bright, colorful outfits and red hats.

"Gnomes?" Mabel gasped.

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"They'd never go out of their way to hurt anyone," Dipper gasped.

"And even if they did, why would they steal plants?" Mabel asked him, "I mean, of all things... plants?"

Dipper scowled and clenched his jaw. "I think we've discovered who broke out the Warlock out from his cell." Mabel gasped. "What? You don't really think they'd be above helping him."

"I didn't say that," Mabel pointed out, "but Jeff... he's not _evil_, he's just a dumb jerk." She turned back to the building, scanning it. "Dipper, I don't think there's anything else we can do here. We need to get-"

"Back, yeah," Dipper nodded. "Fighting Gnomes on their turf without proper prep is just suicide. We need to head back."

The drive back was a majority of close calls. They barely left the site of disaster just as the police and fire department both showed off and quarantined the entire half of the town. They only managed to get out of town just as the traffic began to enter gridlock; the confused citizens trying to get home and check on loved ones. Had this been a joint effort of the Gnomes and the Warlock to disrupt the town and steal... low-grade greenhouse plants, it worked.

The crew of the Mystery Manor awaited their return, along with a nervous pig. Grunkle Stan was currently dealing with the worried visitors, who he was advising to pack their bags and visit Portland, mostly due to the fact that Portland was great this time of year, and had nothing to do with the column of smoke behind him.

"The gnomes!?" Stan barked as soon as the last group of tourists left the shack, leaving the crew alone.

"Definitely," Dipper nodded.

"Unless there's a troupe of short, round dwarves in town," Mabel grumbled.

"So the gnomes and Warlock are working together," Wendy scowled. "Great. As if we didn't have trouble already."

"The goblins are going to have a field day about this," Soos commented, "they already don't like the gnomes, man."

"Oink," Waddles squealed, looking at the woods.

"Goblins and gnomes don't like each other?" Arline asked.

"It's complicated," Dipper said, "what's important is that they made a move in public. They stole, of all things, plants. Why?"

"Maybe they can use their magic to grow them into something else," Yuki suggested.

"Why not just do that magic on plants in the woods then?" Mabel asked, "it doesn't add up."

"Oink!" Waddles squealed louder, still looking at the woods.

"All that matters is that we've got another enemy on our hands," Stan said, "and that they're willing to start a war," Stan's, to the twins shock, seemed to drain in color, "with... people."

"Unfortunately," a deep, booming voice called from the tree line, having the entire group jump and whip towards the woods, "things are far more complicated than that." Out from the shrubs, an enormous many-headed, many-armed bear stepped out.

"Multibear!" Mabel cried.

Multibear, do you know what happened in town?" Dipper asked as he and Mabel first approached the bear, followed by Soos and Wendy.

"I do. The trail of smoke was visible from my cave, as well as the fires," Multibear said, eying Arline and Yuki, "we have not met, allies of Dipper and Mabel. I am Multibear," he told Arline.

"I'm Arline Hirsh. I'm glad to hear you're a friend of ours," she calmly replied.

"I am Uki-Dohth," Yuki nodded, "a pleasure."

"Perhaps another time," Multibear shook his primary head, and looked to Stan, "guardian Stanley, I would ask for Dipper and his allies to accompany me. There is grave tidings, and they are needed elsewhere."

"What? Go into the woods after what just happened in town!?" Stan demanded as Multibear nodded. "No way!"

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel scolded him.

"We'll be fine," Dipper added.

"I would suggest your two friends to come," Multibear added, glancing at Soos and Wendy, "for an added presence."

"Uh, sure dude," Soos shrugged, "as long as we're not getting eaten."

"I'm definitely coming," Wendy nodded. "This sounds important."

"As important as it can be," Multibear agreed, and looked to the twins, "are you ready to accompany me?"

"Uh..." Mabel and Dipper looked back to Stan. Concern at having them leave into the wilderness was mixed with anger. Yet they were going with a trusted ally- a monster who sided with them on many occasion. There would be no arguing with the twins.

"Go on," Stan shrugged, "us three got the building on lock down," Stan said with a nod and surrendering grin.

"Stay safe," Yuki told the four as they began to follow Multibear. With a determined oink, Waddles trailed on after Mabel.

"Don't start a war unless you have to!" Arline added as they entered the woods.

"That would be preferable," Multibear agreed quietly.

The woods was tense. The air itself seemed charged with power. Even with the breeze that always gently passed through the trees ever present, the once swaying branches refused to budge. The four following the mutated bear could only peer around. Animals watched them from a careful distance, daring not to make a noise.

"Multi-bear, what is going on?" Dipper asked. "Where are you taking us?"

Multibear sniffed the air. "We are close. Come, over that hill," he indicated with a bob of his head. With a worried look to his long-time friend, Dipper nodded and followed the bear up the hill.

When he passed over the hill, he gasped. They were no longer alone.

Clusters of creatures, all humanoid, gathered around a massive and naturally grown table. A tree had been grown to resemble a huge oval surface. As the group passed over the hill, their collective gasps grew.

Gib and a large cluster of goblins.

Jeff and a grouping of gnomes.

Leaderaur and several Manotaurs.

An unrecognized but elaborately decorated Fae with several suited fae next to her.

To Mabel's displeasure, a massive collection of Lilliputtians.

A collection of grim vampires, now glaring at the twins.

A massive, white furred Werewolf and two similarly sized werewolfs prowling one side as they sniffed the air.

A family of, to Mabel's delight, true elves, all wearing loose fitting clothing and hippy-like gear.

"Oink," Waddles gulped.

"Dudes," Soos bent down as the four humans all whispered to one another, "what the heck-a-doodle is going on?"

"I don't know," Wendy admitted, worriedly staring at the gnomes, "but our new baddies are present."

Dipper gulped. There was sufficient distance between all the various monsters, and for good reason. Half of them glared angrily at one another. The Manotaurs looked down their larges nostrils at almost the entire table dismissively, and outright laughed at the lilliputtians. While their attitude and superior actions were rude, it was not an alien action. Even the Fae seemed dismissive or someone uncaring towards other races.

Mabel then clutched Dipper's side and pointed.

"Look," she said in a whisper.

"What?" he asked her, peering at the fairies. "Oh, look, it's Twinkle-Moon again," Dipper groaned.

"No, dude," she pointed more urgently, "behind them, there."

Dipper then saw it. The glade they now stood on was centered in a circle of hills. Nearly perfectly across the small meadow, a tall figure stood. Wrapped in a thick cloak and hood, an unseen person watched the collection. Arms held across it's chest, this figure seemed deliberately unnoticed by those present.

"Multibear, what's with that guy there?" Dipper asked, tapping Multibear and letting Mabel point. Multibear gulped.

"Do not stare too long at it," he told Dipper with a shudder, "that is the Guardsman."

"The Guardsman?" Dipper repeated. He dared another glance at the man in black. There was something... troubling about how much fear Multibear put into his reply. It seemed out of character for something that could easily maul fifty men to have a worrying response to a single figure.

"What is it?" Dipper asked.

"An ancient spirit," the bear told Dipper.

"Why is he here?" Dipper asked, "is here to help with... whatever is happening?"

Multibear snorted. "He would not come on our behalf. He is here to ensure the protection of that which he guards."

"Which... is?" Mabel asked.

"The heart of the forest," Multibear stated.

An equally worried gulp was shared between the twins. Whoever this 'Gaurdsman' was, he had never once been mentioned in the journals, and he gave them the shivers. It seemed unnatural how still he stood. Had Dipper not been pointed to him directly, he probably never would have noticed him; just assumed it was a shadow.

Then, a loud clap of rocks slapping one another broken the din of commotion. Twinkle-Moon had floated up, levitating two stones and smashing them together.

"All are present, please take your positions," he called about.

Multibear rocked his head, moving over to the table. Quickly, the four move over and stand by the hard wooden table. Multibear grunted and nodded to the fairies, and the rocks clapped once more.

"Bob, please record," Twinkle-Moon said to the side as he landed on the table, and rested the rocks next to him, "the second recorded inter-special council meeting is now begun. This meeting is to establish a course of action regarding the recent events causing strife in our shared woods." Twinkle Moon glanced behind him to the silken-dressed Fae woman with long, beautiful white hair. She nodded to him, and he continued. "Jeff," Twinkle-Moon addressed the Gnomes, who stood on the table next to the standing vampires, "your actions this day have spurred this emergency meeting. Explain yourselves."

"Explain ourselves?!" Jeff roared back, pointing his first at them angrily, "you watch your tone there, bub!"

"Keep yourself civil," Twinkle-Moon chided him. "And answer the question."

"Hah!" Jeff spun around, look hysterical. "Explain ourselves. How about _they_-" Jeff pointed to the Goblins, "explain themselves first!"

Gib the Goblin Mayor, also standing on the table gasped and glared back. "Watch your tone! And by what right do you accuse us!? We dealt with the long dreaded shapeshifter!"

"And now you take our boys and hold them hostage!?" Jeff demanded heatedly.

Gib's mouth fell open as several of the creatures gasped and stared at the Goblins. "We have done no such thing!" Gib roared.

"Then how do you explain the kidnapping of my friends," Jeff motioned for one of the Gnomes to climb up. A shaken and scared looking lazy-eyed Gnome with a scraggy, gray beard climbed up. "Tell 'em, Shmebulock."

"...Shmebulock," the gnome said with tear-filled eyes, pointing dramatically at the Goblins.

The table gasped and stared at the Goblins, who all looked shaken and startled with whatever the gnome had said.

"Human grown, non-native plants for our friends freedom!" Jeff declared, pushing Shmebulock off the table with a backhand, "you call that innocent!?"

"We have no such demands!" Gib roared.

"Whatever! That's not what's really important!" Chutzpar the Manotaur suddenly roared, slamming his fists onto the table. "We had to give into a humiliating demand! You!" Chutzpar, his eyes bulging, pointed to the largest werewolf, who eyed him without worry.

"What?" the white furred werewolf growled.

"Tell them, Leaderaur," Chutzpar smirked, his arms crossed.

Leaderaur, the tallest and darkest of all the Manotaurs, leaned all the way over the table easily, and got directly into the face of the werewolf, who never budged. With a mighty, booming voice, he commanded, "**WE WANT OUR XBRIX BACK**."

"What?!" the werewolf snarled with a grin, "we don't play Xbrix!"

"Yeah, that wouldn't make sense," Dipper quietly agreed, "werewolves, playing video games."

"We're Minpendo gamers, obviously!" the leader werewolf rolled his eyes, and Dipper loudly face-palmed. "Their controller design was easier for our claws to handle."

"Then why was it we could smell werewolf in our man-cave!?" Chutzpar demanded as Leaderaur leaned back, his thick arms crossing one another. There werewolf leader scowled and glared at them. "Unless the alpha doesn't have control over his pack?" Chutzpar snickered as the other Manotaurs back him up with loud cat-calls and heckling.

"Restrain yourselves," Twinkle-Moon told the Manotaurs. A loud, high-pitched bark of a laugh called attention, and a blue golf-ball stepped forward, with bright blond hair and brown clogs.

"You're ones to talk," Franz the Dutch Lilliputtian accused.

"...What are you insinuating?" Twinkle-Moon stared at his like-heighted creature.

"Oh, oh, more of this 'playing innocent' nonsense," Franz pranced about, "well, it wont work on us!" Franz announced. "You've been harassing our courses for a solid week!"

"Impossible," the lady behind Twinkle-Moon cooly said, her voice soft and ethereal, "our enchantments are able to track all Fae activities. We have never had the need to enter the primitive golf courses."

"Right, I'm sure that our friends just got levitated without ever being touched and put on the highest courses without ever noticing?" Franz pointed out.

Twinkle-Moon scoffed, his eyes closing as he grinned. "Yes, after all, we can trust the word of a species that is so blood-thirsty that before recently, the only thing they were known for- aside from being struck by the end of a metal stick- was fighting amongst themselves," Twinkle-Moon was granted a smile from the woman behind him, "so clearly we can trust your word."

"Keep it up, Pal," Franz warned, stepping closer, "and you'll see just how much we've learned from ourselves about warfare!"

"Yes, I'm sure you've learned plenty about being smacked around, literally," Twinkle-Moon snorted. Franz dived at him and socked him across the face.

The spark was enough for the entire table to suddenly break out in fights. Manotaurs dived in all directions, grabbing people and trying to out-punch their friends. Goblins and Gnomes charged across the table, throwing themselves at each other haste. The elves did their best to stay back, but only ended up knocking into the vampires, and beginning a fierce slap-contest between them. Only Multibear and the four were able to stand back, watching the chaos as outsiders. That, and the Guardsman, who hadn't budged a muscle.

"So, is it just me," Mabel asked Dipper, "or do their stories all sound... similar?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "all of them either got bullied or had something taken. If the gnomes case, both," he noted.

"What are you thinking?" Wendy as the four leaned in.

"I don't know," Dipper admitted, scratching his chin, "I kind of jumped the gun with the gnomes working with Graupner... but they said that some of their own was kidnapped, and demanded human-grown flowers."

"Why would anyone want plants from a greenhouse next to Bargains-Depot?" Wendy shook her head as she frowned, "that's like... thirty bucks stolen, max."

"What about the Xbrix theft?" Soos asked, "that's totally not cool. Taking someone's Xbrix."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "but they said it smelled like werewolf. Trust me, I can confidently say that Manotaurs love video game consoles- they can sit on the couch and play, which they love. They wouldn't lie about that."

"Oink," Waddles said.

"But the werewolves said they like Minpendo," Mabel reminded him. "As a former werewolf, had I the chance to any console, I'd want the Minpendo Smee to play on."

"What's connecting all of this together..." Dipper asked quietly, still scratching his chin. "There's something about this that seems... connected."

"Well, whatever it is," Wendy sighed, "it's getting the same reaction from everyone," Wendy said with a sigh. Dipper nodded. Then he blinked and looked to his sister. Mabel saw him, and gasped. The two spun around, and stared at the fight.

"That's it," they said in unison.

"The... fight?" Wendy asked.

"Oh dude," Soos clapped a hand to the side of his head, "that totally makes sense!"

"Someone is getting them all riled up! They're hating each other now- I mean, I don't even need to point anything else out," Dipper said as he watched punches, kicks, slashes, and otherwise other forms of attack were exchanged.

Without a second warning, the huge bear next to Dipper opened his jaw and bellowed. "EVERYONE- SILENCE!" The fight instantly froze. All eyes turned on Multibear. With a single snort, he turned to Dipper. "You may now speak, my friends."

"Uh... okay," Dipper said, as he leaned to the table. Yet as he went to speak, Jeff groaned.

"Great, who invited the Pines here?!" he cried as he loosened his stranglehold on Gib, the Goblin Mayor.

"Yeah, no one wants pipsqueak here," Chutzpar sneered.

"I invited him," Multibear growled.

"Oh, look guys," Chutzpar laughed, "one dweeb invited the others! It makes sense! Let's laugh at their dweebishness!"

The manoaturas gave stupid, bellowing laughs. Leaderaur barely moved his lips as he chuckled, looking like a chewing cow standing upright. Dipper rolled his eyes, but looked around. While the Lilluputtians scowled and the vampires also glared, the others seemed interested.

"Go ahead," Gib said, his voice constricted to sound even higher in pitch, "give us your piece."

Dipper nodded. "So... a lot of people here had something wrong done to you," Dipper said aloud, starting his hypothesis, "and a lot of people here don't claim to have done anything-"

"Wrong," Twinkle-Moon jumped in, rubbing the side of his face, "we've done plenty. We done nothing wrong in the face of just action."

Dipper rolled his eyes and continued, "but no one here claims to have committed anything against anyone else here?" he asked.

"Pfft, we've thrown junk at loser-face over there," a Manotaur by the name of Pubertaur cackled.

"And we've definitely performed better in our skirmishes against the gnomes in previous battles," Gib shrugged.

"And we've-" a vampire by the name of Vistile spoke up, but Dipper groaned and cut him off.

"Okay! Okay!" he shouted, "so everyone's had the chance to do wrong to someone else here, we got it!"

"What Dipper is trying to get at is that no one's done anything recently," Wendy stepped in, drawing confusion from many of the faces. She, unlike the Pines twins had little reputation among the monsters at the meeting.

"Uhh... no," Chutzpar shrugged, "I don't think so."

"So, what if something else," Mabel spoke up, "is going down? Hmm?"

"Recently," Dipper spoke aloud, "there was a human who came to town. He's a warlock- a human who can cast magic," Dipper clarified. Many of the races muttered to themselves, and the gridlock of fighting began to wane. Many of the attendees listened intently. "He's done nothing but cause trouble in town- tearing up buildings, summoning spiders from the forest-"

"Ohh, that's what happened," Jeff gasped. Gobs snarled and slapped the back of his head.

"Shuddup," the mayor told him.

"And deliberately attacked, cursed, and attempted to probably kill us," Dipper finished.

"Doesn't sound like such a bad guy," Franz snickered. A few others seemed to share that opinion, and there was muttering mixed with laughter and snorts of glee.

Mabel gasped. "Really guys? Look past our... past for now! This guy, Graupner Kinley is his name- he's bad to the bone!"

"Why should we care?" the Fae woman spoke. "He has done nothing to the woods as an assault."

"That you know of," Dipper pointed to her.

"Are you suggesting that we-" the Fae woman began to heat up.

"I'm just saying that for the past two months or so, Mabel and I have had to deal with a man, a human Warlock," Dipper restated, "who doesn't care who he hurts or how he gets what he wants. And if something about stirring up trouble in the woods gets him something, I wouldn't put it past him on trying it."

Gib nodded and looked to Soos. "What say you, our friend: Soos the Liberator?"

"No, dude," Soos shook his head, "this guy is a total jerk- through and through. Tied me up in chains and almost strangled me."

"Even if this theory is true," Twinkle-Moon spoke up, "you're spewing the hypothetical. We can't merely take your word. We're talking about a war here!"

"Then..." Dipper turned to Mabel. This was worse than they had clearly thought. Scuffles and angry fights were one thing. They were among the leaders of collected, organized races of creatures. Magical creatures- creatures of power and magic. A war could not only be disastrous, but catastrophically destructive to the land around them. If war was on the line, maybe a desperate plan was required. Mabel grinned as they communicated only through their eyes.

"Let us bring the evidence to you!" she declared.

"How?" the lead elf asked, his town drawn out and aloof.

"We think that someone is out there, orchestrating these attacks on you," Dipper explained, "we bring that person here, and you deliver justice to him."

Twinkle Moon looked around. Several of the attendees seemed entertained by the idea. However, their opinion was a minority. Most who listened to Dipper seemed disinterested or annoyed with his input. After a thoughtful pause, Twinkle-Moon finally spoke. "Having you go away wouldn't be horrible," he admitted.

"C'mon dude, seriously?" Dipper whined. "Aren't you supposed to be the neutral party here, or something?"

Franz laughed. "If anything, he's just as involved as anyone else!"

Mabel stepped next to her brother. "Then we can't just leave now."

"Why?" he asked.

"They'll just keep fighting, and decide to go to world war three without us," Mabel explained. Dipper sighed and nodded. There was no denying her point. This was a powder keg already lit, and they had only sprinkled water on the fuze. Delaying was one thing- they needed to continue until they could cut the danger at the source- and find the true culprit... assuming there was one.

Dipper turned to the table. "What if I call upon someone to mediate this meeting?" Dipper announced. The monsters guffawed. Only a few listened intently, and Dipper went red.

"What?!" Mabel demanded.

"What's so funny?" Soos demanded.

"What makes you think we'd listen to anything you say as 'official'!?" Vistile the vampire hissed.

"What's more, this is a conference for us non-human speices. You have no real say," Twinkle-Moon told them.

Multibear roared again. "Their friend... she is not human."

Wendy blushed as the eyes of the meeting turned on her.

Multibear continued, "and she, unlike the other three, have no real prior relations to anyone present. The most she has had experience with is the energies of life and death. I would suggest she be our neutral mediator."

"W-what!?" Wendy gasped as loud murmurs spread around the table.

"No, he's right," Dipper nodded excitedly to Wendy, "you're the only one they can't attack- you've done nothing to them."

"And you're waaay too cool for them to hate," Mabel added with a grin and thumbs up.

Wendy glanced between them. "I... dude, I havn't had anything close to this pressure before."

"It's just the fate of the entire region based on a declaration of war that may or may not be decided here today," Dipper shrugged casually, "no biggie."

"Dipper," Wendy grinned and rolled her eyes. The sarcasm was not lost upon her, but as he slid his fingers across his lips and tossed away an invisible zipper, she could only grin. His confidence in her, as always, was solid. She nodded and repeated action, tossing her unseen zipper with a flick.

"Aww, you two are just adorable!" Mabel said, grabbing them both and squeezeing them as close to her as she could.

"Even if she is a neutral party," Franz said," she's not a monster- she's undead! A former human!"

"Your point?" Vistile hissed.

"She's a young undead!" Franz huffed. "She probably doesn't know anything about-

A hush fell over the group. Soft, evenly paced and confident footsteps walked past the manotaurs, who's strong and powerful leers fell away. Emerging from behind them was the cloaked figure. Shocked faces of all types watched as the Guardsman stalked the edge of the cluster. Spectral in how it moved and silent as a ghost, the hooded figure walked all the way around the table, silently passing the manotaurs, the elves, the vampires, the fairies, and then finally it stopped. Before Wendy it stood, tall and imposing. She could only tremble as it looked down upon her. Dipper stood next to her, unwilling to abandon her to such a being.

It reached out, moving a gloved, black hand to her. She flinched as it reached out...

And patted her shoulder.

Opening her eyes, she stared up at the void that was the shadow of the hood. Not even turning it's face to the table, the male-sounding voice uttered a mere three words as quiet as a distant breeze.

"She will do."

Not a single being dared to oppose it's will. Then it turned back from Wendy and made its slow, steady walk back to it's sentry position.

"Uh... very well," Twinkle-Moon swallowed loudly as the groups of monsters and creatures re-positioned themselves back to their clusters, all eying the being on the hill. "This woman will be our mediator. All comments and remarks must be passed by approval through her."

"Amendment approved," Wendy quickly said with a chuckle.

"It's really that scary?" Dipper asked Multi-bear.

"The Guardsman is the legend of legends," he explained, "they say as long as there has been the woods of this land, the Guardsman has always been in the shadows, protection the most sacred part of the woods. No one has seen it for... hundreds of years. To resist it's will is to evoke the wrath of an otherworldly power."

"Glad it's on our side," Dipper sighed.

"Maybe he'd like to have a coloring book," Mabel piped up. Dipper slowly turned to his sister, utter confusion etched into the lines of his face. "Like, you know, as a 'thank you for siding with us' gift?"

"... Maybe later," Dipper suggested. He turned to Soos. "Soos, maybe you should stay with Wendy and keep everything in order."

"You got it bud," Soos saluted, "unofficial bodyguard, official rockin' dude standing by!"

"You too bud," Mabel pointed to Waddles, who nodded and stepped next to Wendy's feet.

"Wendy, you got it?" Mabel asked as she and Dipper started to move away.

"Permission to locate evidence to, uh, conspiracy-dude is granted," Wendy waved them off. With a nod back to her, the twins then turned and charged their ways out of the meadow, leaving behind the tense meeting of monsters.

A quick call after leaving the woods was all that was needed to form a plan. While Stan, Arline, and Yuki had been quickly updated, others needed to be. Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica were all reached. Zander never picked up his phone, which sorely upset Mabel. Everyone had been updated to the troubles at stake- war was looming on the horizon.

Stan seemed to most disturbed by the news. He seemed almost dizzied to the update. His determination won through though- remaining upright through nothing but the anger of the warlock possibly being behind something this bad steadied his stance. Very quickly he gave the twins permission to find this guy and 'quite entirely whoop his sorry butt'.

Rushing back into town on Mabel's bike, the twins met up with Grenda and Candy the one place they knew they could find evidence for the Warlock's doing- the ruins. the police had surrounded the entire wreckage, but with the intimidation of Grenda and the verbose of Dipper's explanation for having the right to go past the police, they easily bullied their way through.

It took no time for Dipper to track down their first piece of incriminating evidence.

"This looks familiar," Dipper darkly said. Lifting up from the remains of a coat rack, Dipper held a clump of singed fur. Long, thick, and course where it had not been burnt to a horrible, crusty glob, Dipper handed it to Mabel. Without hesitation, she sniffed it.

Her lips curled and nose crumpled. "It's him."

"Who?" Candy and Grenda asked.

Dipper took back the fur and pocketed it. "A werewolf. He used to go by the name of Folbrow." Dipper shook his head. "And he's also been a pain for us."

Mabel shook her head heavily. "Three strikes."

"He's out," Dipper added.

"So, he's the guy who's done this?" Grenda asked quietly.

"I think so," Dipper nodded, "last time we ran into him, he was working for the Warlock. We let him go after Mabel royally kicked the ever living crap out of him. Didn't think he'd actually come back."

"So, where do we find this loser?" Candy asked, reaching inside her small purse for a small canister, "I've got a wonderful spray I'd like to test on him."

"We have to find him first," Mabel reminded her.

"Then we suplex him!" Grenda declared, punching her fist into her other palm.

Dipper stood up, having the others rise with him. With his lips pursed, he looked to the others. "He's not magically include, Folbrow. He used to be a hunter around here. So he's not really capable of communicating with magic," Dipper said aloud.

"Yeah?" Mabel nodded, "that makes sense. So?"

"So, how else does someone get in touch when they aren't up-to-date with tech, and can't use magic?" Dipper asked with a grin to Mabel. Before she could answer, he turned and started away.

Candy was the first to gasp, but Mabel wasn't far behind. Grenda blinked and stared after Dipper. "I don't follow," she shrugged.

"There's an outdated technology that no one of our generation uses," Dipper told them as they followed his march, "something only an old fart like Folbrow would use. It's also useful because in the right hands, it can't be tracked."

"Wait, you don't mean-" Grenda started. Dipper spun, and reached out for Mabel's spare pink sunglasses and slipped them on before he answered her.

"Payphones."

* * *

*Dramatic overtunes upon Dipper's revelation*

Another half-episode. I had a blast writing this, for reference. So much is on the line, and yet I couldn't believe how many jokes slipped in without me even planning them. This reminded me a lot of how Season one felt. You veterans with me- you remember. Way back MORE THAN HALF A YEAR AGO. Btw, isn't that crazy!? This story is almost a year old! :O

But yeah, this chapter. I'm kind of hoping a few of you are staring to see the lines between the dots I've lined up. A few already have with previous episodes, and I've been very proud of that. :) For those of you know getting at what I'm saying: remember A Summerween Carol? See anything that sounds similar to the future? Hmm?

No? Oh... darn.

Once again, I am forced, forced, FORCED to ask those of you who review anonymously or only with title and no account to FREAKIN' GET ACCOUNTS ALREADY! I got a really nice series of reviews from some anonymous reviewers and it broke my heart that I couldn't instantly respond with huge thank yous! Oh, and for those of you that already do, you know I seriously appreciate every single one you send my way. Seriously- thank you so much. This story didn't become what it is today just because of me- it's because you all encourage me to KEEP GOING.

Which I will. :)

Okay, I've blabbered on long enough. See you guys next week!

Unseen Giant: **ORDER IN THE COURT.**

(A gavel sized for a giant crashed down through the roof with a earth-shaking crack. EZB is instantly smashed as a giant wearing courtly judge robes looks down in regret.)

Giant: (wincing) **WHOOPS.**


	46. Monster Politics: Part 2

Through the continual chaos and panic brought by the fire in the downtown, a single seemingly unnoticed hulking figure swayed through the staring crowds of lumberjacks, truckers, shop owners, and the occasional family more interested in watching the smoke than getting to safety. The figure held the hood of the jacket over his face, and stalked forward, almost shoving itself past people. Shoulders nearly four feet across and standing at over six feet tall, it was only the shock of the explosion that no one noticed the smell of dog-breath following this imposing figure.

Jackson Fulbrow, fully transformed into the hunting machine known by few as a werewolf, finally pushed himself free from the crowds, heading straight for the closest payphone he could, near the now empty bar. He dared to turn back as he crossed the street, watching the fires behind him. While his face was no longer entirely human with his canine snout, a cruel snarl was paired with a leering, lip-curled grin.

"Job done," he grinned, his voice rough and cracking with a dry throat. Hood tightly tucked over his furred head, he raced to the payphone.

Shoving in several quarters into the outdated hardware, he snarled. This could be among the last time he would ever have to call that number. Ever since the kid found him, he had been nothing but a slave- an indentured servant who only would receive one payment.

"One-nine-one," he grumbled out loud. It was best for him to recall numbers through repetition as his mind wasn't as good as it used to be. "Two-two-five, eight-five-one-eight."

The dial began to ring.

"Answer you snot-nosed brat," Fulbrow the former local hunter snarled. Several dials later, there was a loud clatter.

"Hello," the voice of the Warlock said loudly.

"It's Fulbrow," the werewolf growled.

"Ah, g-good," the Warlock's voice leered, "I was wandering what that little sh-shake had been. J-job done, I t-take it?"

"What is the noise behind you?" Fulbrow demanded, cringing as harsh, vibratory pounding echoed from the other end of the call.

"Machinery," Graupner said simply, "I'm rather b-busy over here. T-t-tell me you're up-update already or g-get off this phone."

"Afraid of losing your minutes?" Fulbrow grinned.

"It's n-not my phone, idiot," the Warlock darkly replied. "Now, wh-what do you have to r-report on?"

Jackson Fulbrow cracked his neck. This kid was everything he hated about the youth, but the hunter needed him. "The gnomes had their hostages returned. I've placed your plants where they are needed."

"G-good. Gnomish m-magic will have p-purged them of human influence," the Warlock stated, "and now with your lingering lycan c-c-corruption on them, they will make good t-test subjects for-"

"Whatever," Fulbrow growled, "what about my cure!?"

"Not yet," the Warlock replied curtly. Fulbrow snarled loudly. "I've t-told you that you have t-to earn your humanity back."

"What else do I need to do?!" Fulbrow roared, "I've attacked those twins, I pre-set your stupid magical scrolls around town, and now this tracking spell I've-"

"Your assistance has b-been mediocre," the warlock cut in, "the twins survived and are still in th-the area, the scrolls, as it t-turned out, were not needed, and you've c-complained more than I'm interested in listening t-to," the warlock snapped back. Fulbrow stood in a stunned silence, his clench on the phone dangerously tight. "Wh-when the p-plans are fully realized, I will uphold my end of the b-bargain."

"And that will be when?" Fulbrow demanded.

"Sooner, if you w-would b-be more efficient at your tasks!" Graupner yelled. Fulbrow growled, his sharp teeth bared. "Now I have a n-new set of instructions for you-"

WHAM.

Fulbrow gasped and stepped aside. A brick had just been tossed into the metal casing, smashing half of the mechanics of the device. Across the street, four teenagers glared at him. Check the state of the payphone with a glance, Fulbrow sighed, and said into the phone, "I'll have to call back."

Dipper and Mabel glared at the monster across the street, barely visible under his hood. They would have otherwise dismissed him as one of the massive workers from the town populace, but Mabel had a trick up her sleeve. Being formerly a werewolf gave her the key to finding those with canine influence. Without any struggle, Mabel could still smell them.

"A good toss," Candy told Grenda, who held a second brick in her hand.

"I should have nailed his head though," Grenda told her friend.

"No, we need him to talk," Dipper reminded her. Fulbrow the werewolf slowly put back his phone, not breaking eye contract with them the entire time. "Sorry to interrupt," Dipper called over, "but you've been summoned to court."

"What?" Fulbrow snarled.

"By order of the fairies, and, like, every other monster in the woods," Mabel added, "you are to appear before the summit of the second recorded inter-special council meeting, and testify for your actions!" Mabel declared proudly, pushing her chest out as she washed her face of all attempts at being silly. Dipper and her two friends looked to her, impressed.

"Kids," Fulbrow growled as he cracked his knuckles and finally lowered his hood, showing the bestial form he still retained. Grenda and Candy gulped. "Stay out of my way. You should have learned that from before."

"Right, because, uh, who was it, again," Dipper asked, a mocking tone engrossed in every word, "that was limping away, bleeding and scared for their life?"

Folbrow snapped his mouth in a bark, teeth shining in the daylight. "Watch your tone with me, boy!" he said. "I'm more than tempted to end our little spat now, for good. Tearing out your necks wouldn't be such a bad way to get even."

"Get even for what!?" Mabel demanded.

"Yeah!" Candy added, "you're the one who's hurting people."

"It's because of him-" Folbrow roared, pointing to Dipper, "that I am what I am!"

Dipper opened his mouth, yet stalled. "Uh... yeah, I guess that's not too unfair to say. Still!" Dipper retorted, heat behind his words now, "you were trying to kill me and my friend! You only got what you deserved: becoming the monster that you really are!"

"Also," Mabel said, stretching her arms while glaring at him, "I remember what Dipper told you if we ever found out you were up to no good again."

"I hope it was a nice, good beating," Grenda sneered as she cracked her knuckles.

"Three strikes," Mabel reminded him.

With a might roar, Fulbrow tore his jacket with his claws, ripping fabric like tissue paper. His claws and strength were as powerful as they remembered. "You don't have a werewolf with you! You don't have that woman with you! You're just four teenagers-"

"Who have been training with that woman for the past week, improving our abilities and skills a little bit each day. Grenda here?" Dipper said, nodding to the largest of the four, "top wrestler in her school. Mabel? Personal student of that woman. And her?" Dipper looked to Candy, who adjusted her glasses with a flash of light, "don't even get me started on what she's got ready for you."

"So, we've gotten all better," Mabel stepped into the street her arms crossed. "Did you get better at being a werewolf?"

The bestial man snarled. His lips curled as he sized up each of his opponents. Their confidence reflected in his eyes.

He then chuckled, whipped to the left and started running on all fours.

"What?" Dipper gasped as the four watched him run. "Dang it!" he grumbled, and started running. The other three followed behind, charging after the werewolf. "Of course the one thing we thought wouldn't happen is what he does! Run!?"

"Then we'll just catch him, and then pulverize his stupid face," Grenda pointed out. Candy shook her head.

"We're chasing a quadruped- he'll be faster and more agile than us with the way he's running!"

"Dipper, we could use some traps," Mabel glanced to him. The werewolf ahead, as they stared made a quick turn down a street, leaping clean over a car with ease.

"Yeah, I think so too," Dipper nodded, and still running, took out his journal and began to rifle through the pages. "Okay. Okay! I think I have an idea. We're going to need some backup though," Dipper said, his finger kept locked on an image of a leafy bush with bright purple flowers.

"Where are we going to get wolfsbane?" Mabel asked as she read off the object Dipper pointed to.

"_We're_ not," Dipper told her as they rounded the corner, trailing after Fulbrow.

"Ohh, but someone is," Mabel nodded. Dipper grinned, and handed the journal to her. As she flipped through the page herself, scanning it as they ran down the street, Dipper flipped open his phone. A single dial was all he needed.

"Yes, Dipper?" Yuki's voice answered. "What is going on? I hear wind."

"Yuki, we're chasing the werewolf Fulbrow right now!" he explained, "and I have a plan. I need you to come down here and help."

"That I can do," Yuki replied quickly as other voices behind him muttered and asked for information.

"I also need you to do something. I need you to make a call for me," Dipper said, glancing at Mabel, "we need you to get hold of Zander."

* * *

Wendy leaned against her arm heavily. Her eyes glazed over as she attempted to remain calm, long overdue in her desperation to avoid reacting to her frustration. While in theory, the twins had attempted to use her situation as a benefactor to what was going on, Wendy could only recount the many times since they had left, nearly an hour ago, that this meeting of sorts was getting worse.

As she had come to understand, there were many unhealthy competitions and rivalries between species. The gnomes and goblins had an on-off war, the manotaurs relentlessly teased Multibear, the vampires and the werewolves couldn't speak to each other without blaming the former for their dissent into 'teen drama favorites', and the faeries seemed incapable of not being condescending.

Soos had taken to acting as her release. Whenever she felt the steam of the situation boiling too rapidly, he was there. He could diffuse her quickly- as any good friend could. At least, up until Wendy could no longer hear him over the ruckus. After that point, not even Waddles, hiding next to her legs, could help her calm.

Gib and Jeff were now center of the massive table, pointing and accusing the other of their acts in previous encounters.

"And I'm certain that each root you enchanted to chase after our men and women was out of the decency and honor of combat!" Gib spat.

"Just like bringing your stupid, stupid, _stupid_ firearms against us!" Jeff roared, "you know those really hurt, right?!"

"Oh, please, compare being shot with a pebble to being STEPPED ON BY A TREE!" Gib screamed, shoving the gnome over. Jeff was quick, and quickly grabbed the governors sleeve, pulling him down with him. The instant the leaders of both races were rolling around, punching one another, the clusters of goblins and gnomes charged at one another, clobbering each other with whatever they could find.

"Order!" Twinkle-Moon called out. Waddles oinked, nudging Wendy with his nose.

"Look at them," Chutzpar snickered as he and several other of the manotaurs laughed. "Little people fighting! That's entertainment!" With a loud crack, one of the Lilliputtians was hurled into Chutzpar's eye. "OUCH!" he roared, holding his eye in his hand.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size?!" Franz, said, hoisted up by five other Lilliputtians and holding a metal golf-putter. "Or maybe you need a handicap!" Franz declared, and swung again, striking Chutzpar in his loincloth. The Manotaur gasped and fell to the ground, whimpering.

"**GET** **THEM**," Leaderar declared, pointing to the various colored golf balls. Like professional wrestlers, the Manotaurs dived at the Lilliputtians. This strategy was less effective than anticipated, as the golf balls were dense and hard-shelled. The Manotaur's ensuing attack only gave many of their numbers thick, swollen bruises.

"Order!" Twinkle Moon shouted.

The elves were no help either. Bored looking and making rude comments about the other races, they leaned onto the table and provided commentary.

"It's just like minotaur's to call themselves manotaurs," one with long, thick blond hair said, twirling it easily.

"I'm more interested in which of the small species will survive- the ugly ones or the ugly dressers?" a woman of the elves pointed out.

A third chuckled. "That describes both."

"Order-" Twinkle Moon shouted. Waddles squealed, and Wendy rocketed herself out of her seat.

"EVERYBODY SHUUUT UUUUP!"

Her voice echoed through the trees. Through the two fighting clusters, the pace instantly died and halted. Wendy, her green eyes ablaze with fury, dared anyone to speak out to her. A proud snort from a certain pig was all that was heard.

"You!" she pointed to the goblins and gnomes, "Sit! You!" she pointed to the manotaurs and Lilliputtians, "sit!"

"Or what?!" Franz demanded, his arms arched behind him, ready to smack a manotaur again over the head with his club.

Wendy chuckled and shook her head. "You know I'm a wraith. That means unless you have yourself something really, really special- I can't be killed. I can't tire. I can't be hurt. So tell me," Wendy stared right into the nervous looking being that resembled a golf-ball, "if we got into a fight, who'd walk away?"

Within moments, the other monsters were moving back to their positions. Wendy glared at every single group, her determination never faltering.

Finally, when all had quieted down, she fell back to her seat, rubbing her head. Something about the way the monsters fought- the noise they made when they did- it broke her focus. That same focus was what kept her from remembering constantly how hungry, how thirsty, how tired she was. She needed them to be civil and quiet as much for herself as she needed them for the council at large. She turned her gaze to Twinkle-Moon. "So," she said after a moment, where Soos patted her shoulder, "who would like to speak, and give us a _real_ suggestion?"

"I will," the voice of Chutzpar said, his hand reaching up and pulling him upright. Heavy sighs and gulps later, he took to standing and addressed Wendy. "I say we make a law- do onto others, and then those others get to beat you UP!" he declared. The other Manotaurs cheered loudly with approval. The werewolves shrugged.

"And... that accomplishes what?" Wendy asked.

"It makes us feel better when someone jibs us!"

Wendy sighed and let her head fall to the table. "No. That'd just make the fighting worse, because if you go up and fight someone, like you've all done here without evidence," she mumbled to the table, "meetings like this have to be called. Not doing that plan," she denied them. The Manotaurs grumbled.

"What about alliances?" Jeff asked, looking to Wendy.

"What about them?"

"We're here not just because of the kidnappings," Jeff leaned in, "but because we're certain some races here are making friendships for power-moves," Jeff turned and glared at the goblins, "like _them_."

"What evidence is there to suggest we've ever gone to establish alliances?" Gib demanded. "If anything, we've certainly been xenophobic. Case and point, you all," Gib pointed to Jeff.

"Case and point- the humans!" Jeff declared. "And it's not just you!" Jeff turned to the Faries, "you've made dealings with humans! And you too!" Jeff pointed to the multibear.

"Our dealings regarded legality surrounding a stolen child," the woman spoke easily. "No such pacts were created."

"I and friends with Dipper and Mabel Pines, and their friends," Multibear fearlessly said.

"Ha! So, you can see why we're a little put off when several of the other powerful races in these woods decided to make friends with the only humans who are, to this day, unstoppable with their abilities of interference!" Jeff yelled. He then turned to Soos. "And you're one of their friends: practically revered by the goblins!"

"Whoa, dude, hold on man," Soos held his hands up, "I'm just a neutral party. I don't wanna get under anyone's skin."

"They're not the only ones with displeasure at the Pine Twins making alliances with creatures," Vistile the vampire said coolly. "Three years ago, they stopped my families attempt at putting up a club to bring in more blood for us to drain. Now we're banished from town. The twins do not interfere with us, nor we with them anymore. But if they should find any of you allies, who's to say you, with their aid, attempt to push us out from the woods?"

"That's dumb!" Wendy said to Vistile. Yet she was one of the few directly outraged with the idea. The Goblins scoffed at the concept, and Soos chuckled, but the rest seemed either in agreement or had their own realization regarding the vampires. Wendy looked around more, and found one group that had little to no reaction- the elves. "What about you guys?" she asked to the elves. "What's your thought on that?"

"Listen," the leader with blond hair said, "we're just here for the food."

"What?" Wendy spurted.

"We were told that a special creatures meeting was going on nearby, so we decided to stop by for the fresh greens. Which, we've noticed, are not present," the leader informed the others, pointing to the middle of the table. A silence fell over the other monsters, who all stared at the elves.

"Are... are there elves naturally in Gravity Falls?" Franz asked around.

"According to our demographics," Twinkle-Moon quickly rushed out a piece of paper with magic, "the only elves ever recorded are nomads, who never stay for long."

"So, what... they're hippies?" Chutzpar asked. When no one answered him, he roared. "KICK OUT THE HIPPES!" The elves gasped and were unable to react in time. Several Manotaurs to them, lifted them above their heads, and tossed them out of the circle, far above Wendy's head. "HAH! STAY OUT, HIPPIES!"

As the Manotaurs calmed down, the Farie queen leant forward and spoke. "Perhaps the vampires are not far off topic. Maybe our issues are more connected than we thought."

"Hold on," Wendy quietly said, but the Farie Queen continued.

"Humans have been a growing constant factor in our activities. We have less space to maintain nursing fields and there are more instances of cross-species aggression, and all can be directly attributed towards the expansion of human activity."

"She's not wrong," the werewolf leader with white fur snorted. "Hunting without being spotted is harder than ever. There's tons of those stupid, amateur hunters already out there, and then some."

"Wait!" Wendy stood up, "you're not just talking about Dipper and Mabel or me and Soos! You're talking about the town. They've done nothing to-"

"Ma'am, you are the mediator, and the mediator is a neutral factor," the Farie queen declared, her cold tone sharpened with conviction. "Now remain such, or be removed."

"Fine, but I call a, uh, recess!" Wendy spat back at her, "fifteen minutes to-"

"We need no such command from you," the elf queen scoffed, "as it stands, I believe that we are beginning to root the real problem at hand! Human activity!"

"I said fifteen minute recess!" Wendy shouted.

"I am the reigning, sovereign female authority figure Tysanae of the Fae wilds!" the woman declared, her hair whirling above her head like coiling snakes, "you have no authority over me, girl!"

"Calm yourself."

Her face went even paler than it had been previous. From behind the elf queen Tysanae, the black cloaked figure stepped out, his hand on her shoulder. Her eyes were wide and her fear evident as she dared not to turn to him. As before, his presence wiped away the atmosphere of confrontation. All were still and silent. Except for Wendy.

"Thanks," she muttered, and then spoke to the table at large as the Guardsman lowered the elf queen to her seat, "fifteen minute break. Everybody just... just chill out for a bit."

With a groan, she leant back on her seat. Others relaxed while began to speak to their related monster companions- discussing quietly with one another, or nervously looking towards the Guardsman as he turned back and made his way to the mound. At least the shouting was done at the moment, and Wendy could fight the endless suffering inside her mind.

"You have been blessed, Wendy, friend of Dipper," Multibear spoke as he nodded to the cloaked figure.

"Yeah, he really helped there," she sighed, face in her palms. When she looked back up, her endless fatigue forced her to consider his aid. "Why only just now?"

"Pardon?" Multibear asked.

"Why did he only just help now?" she asked. "He's been here the entire time. He only jumped in when queen icicle over here stood up to me... but not when they were talking about the town," she pointed out. "Doesn't he care what the topic of the conversation is?"

"The duties of the Guardsman are, even with our own dire conversation at hand, far more important," Multibear muttered.

"Really? These guys were about to start a fight with Gravity Falls," Wendy said, "what else could be that more important than protecting the lives of innocent people?"

Multibear hummed, his deep voice soothing. "Truth be told, I do not know. I only heard of the stories of the Guardsman from the older species. My few encounters of the Fae have taught me of his respect in these woods. If you've lived in these woods, you know of him."

Wendy looked back to the tall figure standing on the hill. There was a mysticism about him, certainly. Dark, quiet, soft-spoken and entirely menacing all at the same time, Wendy could tell just from her first impressions that this was a man, a being, of immense power. Yet... what scared her, the more she thought about it, was her own instincts.

As a wraith, she could tell things. Her self-trained focus had her notice more and more things in the world around her. When Dipper had walked into the Mystery Manor after scanning the woods with Mabel for a Doppleganger, Wendy could tell something was wrong. It was his eyes- they didn't linger on her, nor did they shine like Dipper's had. She could see that... rock Dipper had brought. It wasn't just rainbow that leaked out from the black outline, but some form of raw, untapped energy.

Now, staring at the man further from her, she could sense... nothing.

No sign of breathing. No need to adjust and be comfortable. Not a twitch, or stretch, or rustle to provide a shake-up. He was a statue of shadow.

"What is he?" she asked quietly to herself. She looked to Multibear. "Is he... an elemental?" Wendy asked. Multibear shrugged. Waddles nudged her with his forehead.

"I think he's insisting you see for yourself," Soos pointed out. Wendy sighed.

"Thanks for the information, Soos," she said as she stood.

"No problem. I'm a walking encyclopedia of knowledge people already know," he confidently nodded.

Wendy passed around Soos and Multibear, moving around the fae quickly, who only dared to look to Wendy for a brief moment. Walking around them and the closest group of Manotaurs, she approached the entirely motionless Guardsman. Arms held at it's side and face still hidden from sight, it made little to no notice of her approach.

"Hey," she started. The Guardsman said nothing. "I was wondering, uh, if you wanted to input anything here." The figure still said nothing. Yet after a moment, it looked to her, shaking it's head. "Well, dude, you're part of these woods, aren't you?" she pointed out. "You deserve an opinion."

"This meeting is between the races," he told her. She flinched mildly. Something about that deep, calming voice seemed unnatural. "I take no part in their dilemmas."

"So, what, are you saying you're above them, or something?" she asked, agitated by his stance. The figure in the cloak snorted. "What?" she demanded.

"Entirely the opposite. But what I protected is."

Wendy groaned and stared at him. Her eyes caught the sides of his form, and then she was able to peer back, behind him. There, a large grove sat peacefully. Hidden in the grass, shimmering gems that seemed to pulse in a counter-clockwise line of light reflected in her eyes. Then, with a sudden shock, she spotted four hulking figures in the center of the grove. The exact four golems who had accosted the Mystery Manor months ago, each of natural wood-like elements, stood around a collection of four boulders.

"Do... do you know those four?" she pointed past the Guardsman to the golems. He nodded. "They attacked us," she told him, "nearly tried killing us because he accidentally took a rock."

The Guardsman spoke quickly. "Their task is mine. By my order they will forever protect the heart of the forest."

Wendy couldn't see into the hood of the man, but something in her mind told her that he was watching her now. The sense of being pierced by light or energy was vibrant, and uncomfortable. She spun away and started back to her seat.

He had revealed something, though. If her mind was putting two and two together correctly, Dipper and Mabel had accidentally acquired, for a brief moment, the heart of the forest. That dangerous stone, whatever it meant or did, was such an important part of the forest that golems would be willing to destroy to reclaim it, and that a intimidating creature like the Guardsman would defend it.

She wanted nothing to do with it. Power like that only made people turn into Warlocks and other jerk-wads.

With a heavy sigh, she sat down next to Soos. "He's not going to help us," she told him. Waddles snorted and laid down. "Right?" Wendy asked him, shaking her head. "Guess he thinks his job is too important to have a say in this."

"Dude, Wendy," Soos leaned over to her, "not to freak you out or anything, but some of these guys started actually talking to each other."

"Huh?"

"Look-" Soos pointed across the table. Wendy spotted them- the gnomes and goblins speaking quietly to one another. "They just started doing things like that."

Wendy glanced around as well. It wasn't just Gnomes and goblins. Manotaurs were speaking with the vampires: everyone seemed to be quietly conversing. Wendy focused, as she usually did. They seemed to be... swapping notes. Watching the groups sparsely, she spotted a few then point to Soos.

A thick, dark feeling spread into her gut. Whatever they were talking about, it wasn't something she thought was good for her or her friends.

"C'mon guys," Wendy whispered, gripping the end of her section of the table with her fingers, "hurry up and solve this mystery before they agree on something we're not going to like."

* * *

The truck came to a screeching halt as a massive man with a large, furry head ran straight at him, and leapt over the vehicle. Stunned and confused, the driver then watched as four teenagers chased after the tall figure. That man decided he was going to stay in his car, wait for them to pass, and continue driving away. Asking questions only got you in trouble these days.

Mabel was on him. A streaking, soaring predatory homing missile of bright colors, she lead the chase. Grinning beside herself, she prepared to aid Dipper in executing the plan Their werewolf companion wouldn't be getting anywhere far.

That being said, he was faster than them. Still on all fours and dodging between traffic like it was nothing, Fulbrow continuously glanced behind him, his beady dark eyes glaring at their progress.

"We'll have backup soon!" Dipper called to Mabel, a few feet behind her.

"Goodie!" she nodded and continued running, jumping over a cluster of trashcans like it was nothing. Dipper followed her in leaping, but was less graceful. Candy ran around, and Grenda blasted her way _through_ the trashcans, exploding the debris around in a flurry of paper and rotting food.

"We need to slow him down!" Dipper explained.

The sister nodded, and quickly scanned the road they were on. One of the few main streets of downtown Gravity Falls, it was still crowded with pedestrians, but most of the crowds still lingered at the edge of town, by the blown up Bargains Depot. Her eyes drifted to the rooftops next to her. Upcoming and to the left, there was a ledge in an alley- something she could climb.

"Keep chasing him!" she shouted. Mabel then leapt over to the ledge, and pulled herself up. With a worried grunt, Dipper did as she told. He and the two friends continued after Fulbrow.

She was almost to the roof now. Once her foot found solid leverage, she leapt across the alley she had entered, leapt to the other side, and jumped onto the roof. "Nothing like a little parkour!" she laughed as she ran on the flat roof. The next roof across an alley was shorter, and so she easily jumped it, the air around her flowing past her bangs and hair.

There he was, below her and far ahead. Dipper and her friends were now just ahead of her too, but she had an advantage. Mabel distinctively remembered the urge, as her werewolf self, to climb and gain height advantage. Fulbrow had been leaping over cars and atop of trucks- something she thought he would do. Now, all she had to do was wait for him to pick his favorite shop to climb on top of.

He finally did. However, against Mabel's wishes, it was across the street. She growled as she leapt across an second alley, barely making it to the taller, corner shop at the end of the road.

From her position, she watched Fulbrow leap a good fifteen feet up and claw his way into the brick. There was no direct way to get to him from her position. The street divided her target from her and her friends and brother. Yet she would not be stopped. Shivers ran through her spin as she began to realize what she wanted to do: what she was _going_ to do.

With a sparse amount of momentum left from her run, she put all her energy into a mad sprint. Then, leaving a shadow over Dipper and her friends, she jumped to the power pole.

"MABEL!" Dipper yelled. She landed one foot on the center of the wooden pole. Before it could shake or twist to the force of the landing, she jumped again. This time, she landed on the street light, and ran down the metal arm that extended out. From there she leapt again- to the street light across the street. Dipper was in total awe, as he and their friends had stopped in place.

"She's a ninja!" Grenda gasped as the three ran again.

True to the compliment, Mabel leapt again. This jump aimed for the parallel power-pole. Her footing, as much as she wished, was not as cool as her first jump. Her foot only barely caught the edge of the platform, and she felt herself slip. Below her, Fulbrow had only just noticed her- halfway up the fifty foot climb. She could spin and hold onto the pole, risking swinging or swaying into the transformers below...

Or she could dive straight for him.

With a triumphant bellow, she pushed down, spring-boarding towards Fulbrow like a cannonball. He had little time to react. Mabel grabbed onto his neck before he could dodge. His claws dug deep into the side of the building, fastening him into place.

"Oh, no, buster," she growled, "elevator- going _down_!" she told him as she took her feet, wrapped herself around his chest, and pushed off the building.

His claws were not strong enough, nor his grip secure enough, to hold off against Mabel's force. She shoved him out and down.

"I have you!"

Mabel leapt off the werewolf just as a new voice called into the fray. Mabel's sense of direction was perfect- she jumped straight for Yuki. Arms out, he caught her, and quickly lowered her to the ground. "Are you injured?" he quickly asked.

Next to them, Fulbrow slammed into the sidewalk. Snarling, he rolled to one side and pushed himself up. Dipper was first into the combat.

"This is for slashing my sister!" he shouted as he leapt up and, with a spin, delivered a kick to the werewolf's chest. Fulbrow stumbled, but slashed back at Dipper. He ducked, and then spun from a second attempted claw.

"Get him!" Mabel roared as she charged at the werewolf. Yuki stood back, uncertain how to engage.

As Dipper ducked and swerved from the fight, Mabel came at Fulbrow from behind. Two jabs in his back and a kick to his legs easily forced Fulbrow onto one leg with an outcry of pain. Dipper took advantage. Lifting his foot high, he again kicked out, this time snapped the top of his foot across Fulbrow's face.

Grenda bellowed her greatest war-cry yet. Holding an almost empty trashcan over her head, she ran past the twins, and slammed down the trashcan over his head. It went all the way down to his arms, pinning them to his side. She wasn't done. As the twins watched with shock, she struck him again and again. She had taken the tin lid, bent it to resemble a bat, and she began to smash the tin trash can relentlessly, producing enough ear-splitting noise to terrifying birds half a mile away into flight.

Claws extended out past the frail, flimsy metal. Piercing and cutting it away, Fulbrow snarled as he grasped Grenda's bat. Eyes wide with more fury that a sane mind could hold, he roared into her face, peppering her with saliva. Despite the terror of a werewolf in her face, she yelled back, and then head butted him.

Before Fulbrow could recover, Dipper grasped his arm, shoved it aside, and kicked at him again. As he stumbled away, hands trying to hold onto his head, Mabel took her own swing at him. She leapt up, and drop-kicked up. He then stumbled forward with a howl of pain, grabbing at his back. Fulbrow ran into the close power pole. As he turned to fight, Candy away.

Her small smile conveyed a moment of terror to Fulbrow. He gulped just as she raised a hand, and pressed a button on a spray-can.

His eyes welled up as surely fire itself crept into his face and eyeballs. Nose blistering with pain and no longer able to detect senses other than heat, Candy stepped back, pocketing her can of self-made mace.

"That should end that," she said as she turned away from the werewolf. Then a shadow crept over her.

"Wait-" Mabel ran forward.

Fulbrow stood at his tallest, nearly seven feet tall. Mouth foaming as rivers of tears flowed down his eyes, he howled. The entire town must have paused to hear his ear-splitting outcry, as the entire group clasped their own ears with their hands. Brushing against his back, Fulbrow noticed his advantage, and turned. No more fleeing- he growled as he swiped at one end of the power-line with his claws, and severed it nearly all the way through. With momentous strength, he then grasped it with both hands, and lifted it up.

"DIE!" he roared.

The rush of wind caught Dipper and Mabel, only just recovering off-guard. A power-pole swung down, and they screamed. No time to react.

The gust of wind had not been from the power-pole, however. A fifth figure stood amongst them, and with ease, caught the power-pole. Yuki, his arms outreached to their fullest, caught the make-shift weapon. His hat barely stayed onto his head, as it seemed the gust of wind came from his dash into the group.

Yuki grunted, and threw off the swing. Fulbrow gasped, staring at the Alien.

"What-what are you!?"

"I am Xabvri, and you will not harm my friends!" Yuki shouted. Fulbrow was so stunned that he barely recognized Yuki walk up to him, draw back his hand, and punch the werewolf across the face. The sound of the impact was a loud 'crack', easily mistaken for a cannon blast. Fulbrow was lifted off his feet and throw across the street, striking a parked car with enough force to cave in one side. Fulbrow was stunned, falling from the throw and crawling to the pavement.

"Dang, Yuki," Grenda patted his shoulder as she shook herself off, "you gotta let me train with you."

"I do not train. My muscle density was severely multiplied when I adapted to Earth-atmosphere," Yuki told her.

"Still, that punch," Dipper stepped up to them with Candy and Mabel, "you could have killed him."

Yuki looked to Dipper, his eyes determined. "He _would_ have killed you. My kind do not adhere to violence. But... with this primordial world, I believe I will make an amendment to our most sacred law. Life is sacred," he told them, "harm none but destroyers."

"That sounds about right," Mabel shrugged, "I would re-consider it 'harm none but jerks', but considering how hard you punch- Hey!" Mabel gasped. Fulbrow, actually whimpering with his tail between his legs, had started running again. "Not this again!" Mabel groaned.

"I will catch him," Yuki darkly said, preparing a sprinter-stance. Screeching tire startled him and his friends. Dipper and Mabel quickly turned, and found Zander's bike coming to a halt right behind them.

But Zander did not step off.

"Out of the way, dorks," Pacifica said, removing from her shoulder a large hunting rifle. "Hey you," she added, kissing Yuki quickly on the cheek.

"Pacifica?" Dipper asked, and looked to Yuki, "did we ask for Zander?"

Yuki shrugged. "Uh-"

"Zander wasn't answering his phone," Pacifica told them as she loaded the weapon quickly. "But I got his keys, since I stayed at his place."

"Awww, you have his keys?" Mabel asked, as she and her friends all emitted wishful groans.

"Anyway, I'm the backup. I take it big and furry is our target?" she said, lowering the weapon and aiming it ahead. "Alright dad, let's see how good a shot this gun of yours is." Dipper gasped.

"Wait, you're going to shoot him?" he gasped. Pacifica glanced to him and shrugged, and activated a laser-pointed atop the barrel. "We need him to talk!"

"That's going to be hard for him after this," Pacifica said, and before Dipper could reach over, she pulled the trigger. The gun roared loudly in the air, and the five gasped as, nearly a quarter of a mile away, the werewolf stumbled and then fell to the ground, motionless.

* * *

"Okay guys, break is up," Wendy called around, clearing her throat. "So, let's get right to it. You all wanted a solution to this problem you're all having, right?" she said. There were a few stiff nods given in response. "Well, for now on, you want something said, it's said to me, and me only. No more of this grudge crud."

"Agreed," Twinkle-Moon nodded.

"Fine," Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Yes, sure," the werewolf leader said, still staring off into the distance. There had been a loud howl earlier, and since then, his gaze had not shaken away.

"So, uh," Wendy leaned in, worried how to address her concerns, "I heard you all talking about something during the break. Care to share?"

"Yes," Gib cleared his throat and leaned to her, "we were, uh, coming to examine our situation from a shared point of view."

"Okay, that's not bad," Wendy shrugged and grinned. "Anything in particular?"

"Well, with a little bit of, uh, pointers," Gib continued, glancing to the vampires and faries, "I think I can speak for the whole gathered that we can identify a single, shared source of concern."

"Yeah, dang twerps," Chutzpar grumbled, and his friends chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Soos asked.

"Listen, almost-manly-man," Chutzpar pointed to Soos, who nodded at the semi-compliment, "you've never had to deal with those twins as your enemy."

"Well, not exactly enemy," Soos prodded the tips of his index fingers together, "more like had to act as an obstacle for them once or twice."

"What's the point dude?" Wendy direct the question back to the manotuars, "as far as I can tell, you've done something to deserve whatever you got."

"Strange," Vistile the vampire said with a greasy voice, "it would seem then that all here have, at one point or another, had to deal with the twins in a negative setting."

"Not us!" Gib declared, "we've only met them a few times, and they are outstanding friends."

"But, and more to the point, "Twinkle-Moon said to Wendy, who had glared at Gib for not addressing her, "we've all had negative experiences with humans."

"I don't follow," Wendy said quickly. It was a lie, but she had to delay them, stall them, from their outcome.

"Well, let us examine our individual cases," Twinkle-Moon suggested, "Jeff the gnome?" the farie lawyer pointed.

"We're having less mushroom lands for us to make homes in," Jeff grumbled, "darn hippy humans keep stealing them to make salads!"

"Well, that's something fix-able-" Wendy started.

"Gib the goblin?" Twinkle-Moon continued.

"We have no qualms with the twins, I've stated that," Gib said.

"Indeed not the twins, but as history would indicate, you were commanded by a human once," Twinkle-Moon pointed out, "ruled over you, and your people tyrannically. Do you deny this?" he asked. Gib glanced to Wendy, and then to Soos.

"No. But I will state that it was the acts of another human, Soos," Gib smiled to Soos, "that freed us from that state."

"Daggard?" Twinkle-Moon asked to the white-furred werewolf.

"Hunting grounds are being pushed around, and the twins made sure we can't go into town anymore, or else they'd plant wolfsbane everywhere," Daggard the werewolf-leader grumbled.

"Well, if you're hunting people, of course they're going to want to-"

"The twins are dorks!" Chutzpar shouted.

Wendy stared at him. "That's your... reason?"

"Yeah! And they're small! And squishy!" Chutzpar added with a few laughs.

Multibear growled. "This coming from the unsophisticated masses of meat and no intellect. Their opinions should not be taken to account."

"Shut up, dweeb!" Chutzpar snarled back. "BABBA listener! Lollipop sucker! Book reader!"

"Sit down!" Wendy shouted, pointing at Chutzpar, who grumbled, sat, and pouted.

"Should I continue making my point?" Twinkle-Moon stated to Wendy, who whipped her head to him. "The Lilliputtians and vampires also have their discrepancies with humans, as well as we."

"Fine, so," Weny put her hands on the table, looking around, "so there's a little bit of, uh, miscommunication going on between humans and other species. So what? That's an easy fix! Just invite them here," she suggested, "they'll listen."

"Really?" Jeff asked her, "last time a human saw me, they turned around, screaming, and the last time I waited for someone to come back to talk to me, they ran at me with a sledgehammer."

"Some humans are more aggressive than others, but that's just like-" Wendy started.

"The fact is," Vistile said," is that humans are a prime contributor to our problems."

"They take up nearly fifteen percent of all the land space around here," Bob the Fairy Lawyer added.

"So!?" Wendy said, "that's not much!"

"It would be enough for certain species to re-claim their needed space and avoid one another," Twinkle-Moon added.

"No!" Wendy called, shaking her head, "you're just blaming the problems you all have one something else now!"

"So?" Franz called out.

"So!? So!?" Wendy gasped, "that means if you do something to what you blame at the moment, the same problem will probably come back in the future! I mean, how did the _first_ one of these meetings start up!?" she demanded.

The fairy lawyer sighed and pulled out a worn, glowing sheet of parchment. "The first recorded inter-special council meeting was conducted four hundred and eighty nine years ago, under the guidance of the Guardian," Twinkle-Moon nodded his head to the still stationary figure, "to promote... healthy relations between the races- well, look," Twinkle-Moon flustered as he stuffed away the notes, "the humans living in the region at the time made certain to not destroy our own homes! There was little to no need for such actions, as there are now!"

"Even if I did believe that," Wendy shook her head, "what would you do to the people here today? Huh? Go to war with them or something stupid?!"

"Uhh..."

"Ehh..."

"Well..."

Wendy stared at them. "You're kidding me. You're actually thinking about that."

"Not war, per say," Jeff wove his hand through the air timidly, "more like forced re-location."

"You can't!" Wendy slammed her fists onto the table. "Don't you know what you'd be starting!?"

"War isn't pretty," Jeff shrugged, "but we've got magic. Humans sure have some neat tricks, but their standard stuff doesn't really hurt us, now does it?" he asked.

"You CAN'T!" Wendy screamed. She wouldn't dare let this end with these races marching into town. The people in Gravity Falls, her family included, may be scared, but they wouldn't give up their homes without a fight. That alone, she was sure, would be enough to spark something worse than just relocating a population. Blood would be shed.

"And why can't we?" Franz demanded. "We're already in the town, as far as living conditions are concerned."

"Because-"

"Because we have proof that your problems aren't coming from the town!"

Wendy whipped around. On the hill behind her that would lead to the Mystery Manor and back to town, a cluster of teens stood, holding with them, a large werewolf. "Dipper," she sighed to herself. "Nice timing," she said.

"Had to make sure we bagged the prize," he told her, and the nodded to Yuki. The alien walked forward, and with a brisk toss of his arms, he hurled the limp werewolf onto the table.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Daggard the werewolf snarled, "you've injured one of... he is not one of mine," the werewolf sniffed the man.

"This is Fulbrow," Mabel said as she, Dipper, Grenda, Candy, and Pacifica marched to Yuki. "He's a crazy hunter turned werewolf. And he's been working with this Warlock we told you about." Fulbrow groaned with a loose jaw, his eyes unfocused and his body unable to move on it's accord. "He's yours to interrogate. Just, uh, watch out- he's kind of drugged."

"Courtesy of Zander Maximillion, and myself," Pacifica grinned. She nudged Dipper. "Told you it was okay."

"Maybe telling us it was a tranquilizer instead of a solid slug would have been better," Dipper mumbled back to her as he stared at the Guardsman. He was looking right at them.

"No time to talk, just enough to shoot once," she shrugged. She then noticed the cloaked figure. "Ugh. Creeper."

"Just don't look at him too long," Dipper told her, and approached Soos, who was grinning at them.

"Nice one, dudes," Soos high-fived Mabel and Dipper.

"Not without our bit of help," Mabel wrapped her arms around Grenda's and Candy's shoulders. Yuki grinned and glanced to Pacifica, who smiled back.

"We will take this from here," Twinkle-Moon said. With a wave of his hand, several gold glowing strings appeared and wrapped themselves around the limbs of the werewolf. "Speak in truth, werewolf," he ordered. A flash of light behind Fulbrow's eyes and his struggle against the stings faded. "Who are you?"

"Jackson Fulbrow."

"Do you follow Daggard here? And his pack?" Twinkle-Moon demanded as the circle leaned in, listening. Jackson Fulbrow shook his head. "Who do you work for?"

"Graupner Kinley."

"This self-proclaimed Warlock?" Twinkle-Moon asked. The werewolf nodded. Wendy sighed.

"See? We weren't kidding here," she told them.

"Indeed," Twinkle-Moon looked back to the werewolf, "what is your purpose here?"

"To act as an agent- stirring trouble in town to cause dissention between races," Fulbrow said coldly. The table was silent. Wendy felt the deep satisfaction of triumph, but had to listen further. "I am to be a soldier for the warlock. One day, he and his allies will cure me."

"Allies!?" Dipper gasped.

"There's... more than one person helping him?" Mabel added, her tone deflated.

"Many," the werewolf grinned, "many help him. He will get what he wants. He's willing to put everything on the line for power."

"Are you the one who kidnapped the gnomes?" Twinkle-Moon ignored his last comment.

"Yes."

"And stealing property from the Manotaurs?"

"Yes."

"And what of the Lilliputtians?"

"Moved them."

Twinkle-Moon scowled, but before he could react, his queen's hand waved past him, and the werewolf was throw, string still tied around him, to the edge of the table of the werewolves.

"He is yours to deal with," Tysanea the Fairy Queen said.

"Yes," Daggard growled, staring down at the smaller werewolf, helpless. "He will not long for this world soon. This trouble he has caused-"

"Remove him. Now."

The guardsman had again spoke. Daggard swallowed loudly: the Guardsman now pointed to Fulbrow. As Daggard nodded and lifted Fulbrow, walking him away, the Guardsman turned and addressed the table.

"Conclude this meeting."

"O-of course!" Twinkle-Moon stammered, his already high-pitched voice shaking in fear. "All those in favor of forming a 'neutrality pact' towards one another, which prohibits all combat with one another without another meeting, say aye." Many ayes called into the air. "All apposed, say nay." No nays spoke into the air. "Ah, and for those in favor with an 'omission to violence' policy towards regarding humans innocent to the actions of the man and the prohibition of violet actions towards them without specific, detailed evidence to suggest they intended to, such as Graupner Kinley, say aye." Louder than before, the ayes had it. "Nays?" None spoke up.

"Then by the powers you all kind of just gave to me," Wendy shrugged, "this meeting is done. Go home, or whatever."

Hurriedly, worriedly, and still uncertain, the bands of creatures began to wander off into the forest. The cloaked figure, the entire time, continued to watch.

"A neutrality pact and an omission to violence," Yuki repeated as he spoke to Multibear, "without really clarifying those policies, these races may attempt to violate laws."

"They stood witness by him," Multibear nodded to the still visible Guardsman. "Under his watch, no law will be broken."

"An impressive authority figure," Yuki noted.

"C'mon," Pacifica quietly asked of him, grabbing his arm, "let's go. He creeps me out."

"Yes, we may leave," Yuki nodded. "Would you accompany us?" Yuki asked to Grenda and Candy. Pacifica looked discouraged that he asked, but said nothing.

"Sure," they nodded happily and followed suit.

"You two," Multibear said to the twins as their friends started up the hill without them, "have prevented much catastrophe this day."

"Ah, well, you know how it is," Mabel grinned, "stopping wars and catching bad-guys is our motto!"

"_After_ solving mysteries," Dipper corrected her. "And we've still got a few to solve. Just because we caught Fulbrow finally doesn't mean that this is over."

"Indeed," Multibear nodded to them, "the charm used by the fae would not let the werewolf lie. He truly believes we are doomed." The twins glanced to each other. Yet, after a pause to let this information settle in their brains, they smiled. "Yeah, we've dealt with people who've thought that before."

"I hope for your sake," Multibear smiled, "that you will remain as cautious as you always have. And you," he turned to Wendy, still at the table," you did well this day."

"Eh. Could be worse. Guess having younger brothers taught me how to break up fights or something," Wendy shrugged. Dipper chuckled.

"Told you you'd be good at this," he reminded her.

Multibear nodded, his great tufts of fur swaying in a brief breeze that swept through the forest. "Good luck on your future endeavors, my friends."

The twins watched as Multibear left the grove. It was now just them and the silent figure. He watched them at his distance, unmoving and, as always, silent. Mabel grinned, and walked up to him. "Here," she said, "grabbed it from the Mystery Manor before we came here."

The cloaked man reached out and took from her a small crayon case and coloring book filled with small, baby animals. He nodded to her.

"Thank you."

"No problem, dark and brooding!" she grinned and ran back to Dipper. "Ready to go?" she asked him.

"Oink!" Waddles declared, rubbing her leg.

"Aww, and I bet you did great as a mediator too," Mabel grinned. She glanced back up to her brother, who was looking back to the man in black. "Shall we?" she asked.

"I guess. I mean, you don't think we could try weaseling out some story from him, do you?" Dipper asked Mabel. She shook her head. "I thought so," Dipper sighed. "Well, let's go- still got to catch up with the others."

A grin shared between them, the twins bumped fists, and left the grove to the tall, cloaked figure.

Another job well done.

* * *

Hold on, I know EXACTLY what you're thinking. "The HECK!? EZB- explain this! It's Saturday! You only update on Sundays!"

And I say, Indeed! But, alas, stuff has come up. I've been swept away this weekend by a new tidal wave of work that I'm terrified to be doing. So, to make sure I upload this EVER (and I do mean ever) I'm posting it now. Enjoy the early release while they happen! :)

But onto the chapter- BOOM! There you go! Monsters, Politics, evil plots, sinister watchers! All under one chapter! Didja like? Before people ask, Vistile and Daggard are both OC's. Very minor, and they won't be showing up much in this story. They're here to represent the monsters who also linger in the woods, and that's about it. My little backstory is that both parties, at one point or another, tried expanding their territory into the town (the vampires with a club, and the werewolves by attack meat-shops) and the twins, in both cases, stopped them three years ago.

And... the Guardsman is finally revealed. I know we briefly met him last time, but for you attentive readers, you'll note that this isn't the first time we've heard mention of him. :O

*cough, cough* Also-are-you-putting-together-the-dots-from-A-Summerween-Carol-and-how-the-future-almost-went-bad? *cough, cough*

Next episode is called 'Draconic Tendencies'. Some of you will be more than excited for it, especially if you can guess what kind of beastie will take focus... ;)

(A massive plume of flame streaks over EZB and his room, and he is set ablaze as something massive flies above, roaring.)

AHH! GOD NO! AAHHH! (EZB dives out of the window, trying to put himself out. Unfortunately his home, it would seem, is next to the grand canyon. When did that happen? Talk about prime real-estate though.)

* * *

**Slqb Tbkav clo Doxsfqv Cxiip Jxvlo 2015! Xka Txaaibp clo Sfzb-Jxvlo!**

**-AND-**

**(Vigenere)**

**Cbee bgg srglcy igd tuk berul, ut fnulc wzqn uoxe. Nkwz yba qaegwd af lir nddws fgee, zw ktayr jrvvape. Auq wrwuteq hs a crfs-gbty pirlqcgul, ik'v kmfrzs adlke: fnrme gugyifkm bilfs hbvys kr s ialcuru psz oa zbe suazk bl ubpvk.**

**-AND-**

**Sv olevw gsv xlolirmt yllp.**

* * *

In a mine that spanned a mile under the surface of earth, a gaggle of suited men walked past workers from town. Vigilantly digging away at sections of rock to smooth out the surfaces, they paid little mind to the well-dressed and muscular men. Walking through a tunnel, they found themselves overlooking a drop.

An antechamber had been dug out from the solid rock, and made into a make-shift study. A small desk was made from cheap wood. Yet it whistled gently- a huge drop less than fifty feet to the right of the desk showed a massively wide hole- easily a hundred feet across. The hole had sturdy spiraling stairs that lead around the edges.

Sitting at the desk, his eyes closed, was Graupner Kinley. The two men in suits approached him.

"Kid," one stated, his voice gruff.

Graupner opened his eyes and glared up at them. "W-what do you want?" he asked. "I t-told you not to interfere with my s-studies."

"Boss was on the line. He wanted an update," the other said. This stirred Graupner, as he looked to the desk, where a map lay spread out.

"I will t-tell him when I have s-something s-significant," Graupner snarled.

"Yeah? Well do it soon, because we're getting pretty tired of him breathing down our backs as well," the other grumbled.

Graupner's wrath was quick, and his fury instant. "D-DO NOT PRESUME T-TO TELL ME WHAT TO D-DO!" he roared. Both men, easily a foot taller than him and twice, as wide stepped back. Graupner began to breath slower, heaving his chest as he calmed down, "you're j-just company grunts. Hired fodder. I'm _infinitely_ more special th-than you. Your b-boss would kill all of you in an instant if it meant he'd k-k-keep me alive. And you know what? I would t-too," Graupner told them, not breaking eye contact for a second. They stared back, fury kept in check by fear. "G-go tell him I've found a p-possible resource to use."

With a curt nod, the two men rushed out, their footsteps echoing down the hall. Graupner snorted and shook his head. "Idiots. Th-think they can boss me around."

The closed his eyes again. His lips moved silently, uttering words and sentences without speaking them. Then, he snapped his fingers. Wisps of blue light began to shimmer from the air, expanding like dust and taking shape. When Graupner Kinley, the Warlock, opened his eyes, he could see a still image of the alien boy as he was about to punch Fulbrow. Behind him was the twins and their friends.

"Yuki. Xabvri... so I know wh-what you are, finally," Graupner grinned as he looked closely at the alien. "Friends of the t-twins? Hmph."

He waved his hand to one side. "Things can always ch-change. You'd be m-more useful alive than dead, that's for s-sure," he said as the image changed. Now, the picture of Folbrow tied to the table by the fairies was presented, all the various species leaning in to see him. "And th-there you are again," Graupner pointed to Yuki, standing nearby the twins. Graupner snorted, "this spell is much c-cooler than I thought it'd b-be. Auto-records of a target for up t-to a day. Got to k-keep using th-that."

He grasped the image, holding it by his hand, and spun it. That wasn't what he wanted to find. "I know I heard you m-mentioned before he was t-taken," Graupner quietly mumbled. Then he gasped. "There you are."

He stared at the blue image of a cloaked man, standing alone by the trees.

"So, the G-Guardian is alive and is in Gravity Falls. I g-guess he was right," Graupner sneered. "Which means..." Graupner waved away the blue outline, and looked down to the old, _very old_, map. Outlines of rivers and hills and valleys were all marked, but not roads or buildings, streets or highways were present. Then he pulled next to the map one of Gravity Falls. The geography was almost identical.

The Warlock's eyes shone as he sneered. "We've almost found it."


	47. Draconic Tendencies: Part 1

The time had come for America. A day where the sky would rain with fire and the world below it would scream and shout as they could only stand and watch. Or shoot another firework up too- that _was_ something they could do.

The American Holiday of Independence, or the fourth of July, had come. The grand time to launch explosives into the sky, at relatives or hated ones, and awe at the colors and sounds, or scream as you realize that your home is one fire: that time had come upon the American people. Even the small town of Gravity Falls would be celebrating their freedoms.

Even with the coming of such celebrations, the tasks and workings of the 'World-Famous' Mystery Manor continued. If anything, inside the building, it was even busier.

"That'll be fifteen dollars," a tall redhead said to the last in a long line of shoppers. "Enjoy your day, and like, go shoot some fireworks."

The visitors chuckled and laughed, leaving with hefty bags. Wendy Corduroy leaned forward, waiting now for the next in the room to hurry up and buy something. So, with a check in the hallway for her boss and current house-master, Wendy slid over the most recent newspaper.

'Reconstruction of Bargains-Depot Finally Under Way: Northwest Involvement Hurrying Project'.

Wendy frowned and scanned the rest of the page. It had only been a few days since their last encounter with the crazy and unusual, and Wendy had taken back to her old hobby of reading into the news as much as she could. Without the gossip leads from Tambry, who still believed her to be a ghost, Wendy had to rely on her own wits.

"Hmm," she hummed as she glanced down on a small article, advertising a job for 'low skill needed, high pay given'. Little to nothing was said about the specifics of the actual task, but Wendy squinted as she looked closer. No normal job asked to show up at the bus station at seven fifty, right in the middle of bus routines.

"Wendy."

She darted her head back up. Yuki was walking to her from outside, closing the door behind him.

"Hey dude, wassup?" she asked.

"Have you seen Dipper or Stan? I wish to speak to them," Yuki said as he glanced to her newspaper.

"Stan's on a tour. Don't know about Dipper," Wendy said with a look around, "wasn't he and Mabel doing something today?"

"Oh? I was not made aware of this," Yuki shrugged. Wendy nodded and glanced around. The amount of tourists today was at a peaceful level.

"Well I'll go find Dipper. You stay and people-manage," Wendy said, sliding off from her seat and around the counter. Yuki gulped. "Oh c'mon," Wendy chuckled, "just remind them what they're buying, how much it costs, and then take their money and add it into the register."

"Uh... yes... of course..." Yuki nodded as he passed her, and nervously took to his seat.

Wendy's brisk walk took her out of the gift shop in little time. She already was in the hall as she sped up the stairs. The door to her left, leading into the twins room was empty. "Knock, knock," she said, wrapping on the already open door. To her surprise, no one was present. More importantly, she noticed Dipper's collective of studies was missing, along with one of Mabel's bags.

Giving herself a thought on the matter, Wendy turned back and headed down the stairs. Listening carefully, she made out the sound of flipping pages and scribbling notes over the dulled chorus of Stan distantly chatting about his creatures. Down the stairs, twice to the right, and she looked into the living room.

"Dude?" she called out. From past the sofa she had taken as her place of rest, as she couldn't actually sleep, the un-capped head of Dipper poked up.

"Wendy!" he cried out, "hey! What's up?"

"Dude, what're you up to over there?" she asked him, walking towards him.

"Studying stuff," Dipper shrugged, and turned back to what he was doing.

_Liar_, Wendy thought as she grinned. _You'd be more likely to give me the full rund-down of your entire project than just shrug it off._ She approached and jumped onto the couch, belly-flopping with a loud groan of springs. Dipper glanced behind him and scrambled. "Yeah right dude. What's up?" she asked, resting her head just above his, on the couch arm.

Dipper glanced back to her, and shifted gently to the side. Wendy peered into not just one, but all three journals.

"Whoa," Wendy gasped as she saw all the open pages. Dipper had a note pad next to him, with many crossed out paragraphs of notes. "What're you looking for? Something important."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded as he turned away, and leaned into the middle page, "Grunkle Stan finally got the other two out for me."

"It's still weird to think we've got them, you know?" Wendy said as she leaned in closer. The first journal was flipped to a page on the human soul. The second journal was flipped open to curses, and the third to the undead. Wendy sighed. "Dipper, I told you this probably isn't something you're going to be able to solve."

"Won't stop me," Dipper said, his voice unfocused as he wrote down something from the human souls page.

"Robbie has been trying to figure out how to break this for almost three years dude," Wendy sighed, "it's not something that you should-"

"I'm not Robbie," he replied quickly, "and these aren't ancient, old, unused notes. These are my granddads discoveries. If there's someone who could have solved this, it was him," he explained, "I just need to cross-reference enough notes to... oh, come on," Dipper growled, and suddenly crossed out his most recent notes, "every time I think I'm getting closer, something contradicts itself!"

"Buddy," Wendy moved closer, patting his hair, "take a break. Just a nap or something."

"Right. Like I could nap knowing that you can't even rest," Dipper growled. Wendy scoffed.

"Okay, so, you're just going to stay up forever until you die and can't help anyone?" Wendy asked him teasingly. Dipper grumbled. "C'mon dude. You look exhausted."

"Wendy," Stan's voice called from behind, "you left Yuki in charge of the cash register, right?" he asked, a group passing by him. Stan spotted Dipper as he looked towards them, and he groaned. "Holy crud, kid. Take a break already."

"What does that mean?" Wendy whipped at Dipper. He shrunk away, focusing intently on one spot on the page. "What do you mean?" she demanded of Stan.

"He's been at that for days like this," Stan rolled his eyes. Wendy glared to Dipper. "Did you say you'd be going with your sister to the Northwests?"

"What?" Wendy asked. "The Northwests? She's hanging with Pacifica and her family?"

"Heh, I don't really know. Something about setting up a party," Stan said. He turned to the hallway. "Yuki!"

"Ah, Stan," Yuki rushed to him, "I meant to ask you. I wish to take a second job."

"What?" Stan chuckled, "with what?"

"I believe my services could be of use in town," Yuki stated, "and I cannot remain in this building forever. Besides, I spoke to Soos on the matter- it is harder for humans, but for myself it would be easier. If he can work outside of here, so can I."

"Yuki," Stan groaned, shaking his head.

"I would only take smaller, less-important professions. Things that will take minimal effort and risk. That way I am always capable of working here, but will not-"

"Look, Yuki," Stan told him directly," you're not ready for that yet."

"But I was able to manage a cash register for nearly three minutes without duress," Yuki whined, "that is surely proof I am ready for the commercial world of humans."

"Okay, fine," Stan grumbled, "I'll give it some thought. But unless something crazy happens about this, you're not getting to do anything like that until the end of summer, you hear?" Stan told him. Yuki grimaced and nodded. "Besides, Soos is a mule. He can do pretty much anything and find a way to be happy."

"You bet!" Soos said as he walked by, giving them a thumbs up.

"Stanley," Yuki spoke to him again, "I will surely live another five times my current span of life. In your years, that is nearly three hundred and fifty cycles around the sun."

"Ugh, don't remind me of your near immortality," Stan said.

"But surely-"

"I said I'd think of it! Go help Soos with the gift shop," he pointed past him. Yuki sighed, but followed orders.

"He's got a point, Grunkle Stan," Dipper added, "he can't stay here forever."

"He's just acting like a teenager, for once. He wants to leave and be a big, impressive adult," Stan shook his head, "but he doens't know enough. I'll let him on his own one day, but not before he's ready. Now," Stan put his hands on his hip and glared at Dipper, "take a break and go do fourth of July stuff with Mabel!"

"I'm busy," Dipper retorted.

"Ugh! Just like my brother," Stan rolled his eyes and stormed away. Dipper and Wendy looked after the space Stan had just been.

"Did he just..." Wendy started.

"He did," Dipper nodded slowly. "I think that's the first time he actually... said anything about Stanford." The two teens by the couch exchanged a glance. Events three years ago were still topics generally avoided, particularly those pertaining to the now lost Stanford Pines. Dipper could remember the close call the world had suffered- the possible end of everything itself coupled with total human enslavement.

Sure, the world was still here and humanity was free: all it had taken was a sacrifice.

"C'mon dude, take a break," Wendy asked Dipper. He sighed. "Just for an hour or something. Have fun, you know?" Wendy laughed. Dipper looked to her and smiled. "See? You can do it."

"If Soos was free and Mabel still here, I think we could try another Strongholds and Serpents," Dipper suggested.

"One that isn't cursed, please?" Wendy asked. Dipper strongly nodded, his eyes wide. Leaving his books on the floor where they were, he and Wendy entered the shop. "Why don't you pop on by to Mabel?" she added, "she's real good at having fun."

"Oh! I could also attend," Yuki stated from the counter with Soos, who was busy helping a customer purchase shirts, "I received an invitation to this party. We could attend later."

"Maybe later," Dipper said.

"C'mon man. Mabel's great at making fun," Wendy said. She then turned to Yuki, "hey dude, check this out later," she said, pointing to the newspaper ads, "there are ads for jobs right now."

"Indeed," Yuki nodded as he took it from Wendy, and began to pour over the paper.

"Look, Wendy," Dipper said as she turned back to him, wearing a confident grin, "We can manage here. I'll probably pop by later to see what the talk is all about, but I can have more fun than Mabel can dream of on my own here."

* * *

"I'M HAVING SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN DIPPER!" With a mad cackle, Mabel ran from the back Northwest balcony and darted around, streamers trailing behind like tails to a comet.

This would be easily the largest party set-up in Mabel Pines history. The Northwests, particularly Pacifica, had enlisted her into a detailed job: set up for a party. Not just any party, though. Pacifica had explained it in detail, "Since Omir has been breathing down their back, they've actually... kind of become human."

Which meant they would be hosting their first ever public fourth of July celebrations at their manor. Overlooking massive gardens and large hedge maze of the back yard, the porcelain colored balcony would serve as the primary area of the party. Mabel had only just begun her extensive decorating, but she had already turned to snooty, high-society local into a colorful bomb of delight.

"Grenda, Candy, remember to leave just enough lee-way for the arched streamers," Mabel whipped around after wrapping an outdoor lamp with her streamer, "that way people know it's okay to relax and be themselves!"

"You got it!" Grenda replied, lifting Candy up.

"I'm so glad Mabel has not lost her personal touch," Candy said to her friend.

"Master!" Mabel whipped around again, this time turning to face a second level of the balcony, which was directly connected to the manor, where Arline was lowering a large sign, "the sign should be as straight as possible!"

"We weren't going to follow theme with 'Celebrating our Independence'? Keep it a little loose?" she asked from above.

"Nah. People got pride in their country. We got to keep it straight or else they'll think we're Russian spies," Mabel told her.

"Oddly specific, but okay," Arline chuckled and did as Mabel told, ensuring the sign was straight.

"Yes! YES!" Mabel cheered twice as she looked around. "This is going perfectly!"

"Good, because otherwise we'd so get kicked out," Pacifica said. She descended the stairs, wearing her best lilac sun dress.

"Pacifica, aren't we all going to be getting into red, white, and blue later?" Mabel asked her, "I came prepared! See?" she pointed to her sweater, which was the image of Waddles the pig, saluting to the distant horizon over a billowing American flag.

"Later. Not really my color scheme," Pacifica chuckled. She glanced around, spotting the two friends, and then Arline. "You brought the fire-woman?" Pacifica asked.

"Oh, Arline is my martial arts master, Pacifica. She loves nearly everything I do, including a good party," Mabel declared proudly. "Which is why she came and helped us set up!" Mabel grinned.

"To our compliments, might we add," another voice added. Pacifica pointedly looked away and walked past Mabel as the two Parents Northwest walked up to Mabel. "We were, of course, naturally inclined to believe that asking anyone but the highest paid designer to set up a party was a ludicrous one," the father said, his moustache trimmed perfectly.

"But not only are these... above adequate," the mother added, "you're able to keep in pace with the rest of our staff. Good job," she added.

"Awww, gosh you two," Mabel squealed, pushing her cheeks in with both hands on her face, "you're making a teenage girl blush without flirting!"

"Now if you'll excuse us, we have more important things to attend than the public party of the year. Good day," Preston Northwest nodded to her, grasping his hand around his wife's shoulder. Leaving Mabel at the base of the stairs, they ascended just as one of their many attendants rushed to them.

"Don't just think they're saying that because they're like that," Pacifica said from behind Mabel, overlooking the gardens where peacocks idly walked around freely. "They wanted to hire some crazy French designer to come in for this. They picked you instead after I told them we should make it public."

Mabel jogged in place, her hands balled up into small fists. "That's SO freakin' cool!" she managed to grit out past her toothy smile.

"How's this look?"

A call from Grenda had the girls both look. Mabel grinned and nodded, but Pacifica pursed her lips and scowled. "Please tell me you two have something more appropriate the wear other than those clothes?" she haughtily asked.

"I thought this was the fourth of July?" Candy asked, being lifted down by her friend.

"Yeah, and as assistant designers to a northwest held party, you have to look like you're not living off dirt," Pacifica scolded them, pointing to their wear, "looking like you just grabbed a flag and wrapped it around your torso may work for the guests, but you have a reputation to uphold- mine. Go inside and change clothes- the attendants will see to you."

Glaring at Pacifica, the two quietly walked up the stairs. Grenda began to huff small, threatening words as she and Candy marched away. Mabel marched over to Pacifica, and turned her about. "Pacifica, what was that about?!"

"Nothing," Pacifica said, worming her way out of Mabel's grasp.

"You shouted at my friends," Mabel said.

"I didn't shout," Pacifica denied.

Mabel stared at her. "Do you still not think that they're your friends?" she asked after a moment. Pacifica laughed.

"Them?! My friends?" she shook her head as she looked away. "Mabel, I still need to uphold an appearance while in school. Sure, I can be friends with you- you're not a local," she said quickly, her eyes focusing more and more on the vast sky, "but no, of course I can't pick who I can be friends with. That would be against living in the code of high-society-"

Mabel ducked her head to be directly in front of Pacifica, who gasped and leant back.

"You had a fight with your parents again, I think," she told Pacifica. The blond scowled, turned away and crossed her arms. "Thought so," Mabel sighed, watching Arline as she spoke, "they're sometimes crazy, huh?"

"Sometimes?" Pacifica spluttered, "try twenty-four-seven."

"You want to talk about it?" Mabel asked.

"No," Pacifica sighed.

"Well, okay, but can you at least not shout at my friends anymore?" Mabel asked kindly. Pacifica shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes!" Mabel cheered and hugged Pacifica, lifting the girl up in her grasp.

"Gah- let me down Mabel!" Pacifica yelped, but was spun around. As she shrieked and cried out, Mabel laughed. A moment later, Pacifica finally giggled.

"See? See!? You can still have fun," Mabel said, and lowered her friend to the ground.

"Mmhmm," Pacifica shook her head.

"Who's having fun without me?"

The girls head's turned so quick, it was a miracle bone and spin didn't snap. They both knew exactly whose voice that belonged to.

"Zander!"

Walking down the steps, dressed in a stylish but appropriate shirt and tie, Zander Maximillion grinned and approached the two. Mabel ran first, leaving Pacifica to snort and shake her head. Zander grinned and lifted his hand for Mabel, who quickly high-fived it.

"You're helping the party too?" Mabel asked of him, hopping on the balls of feet while praying he would stay.

"Well, sure," Zander shrugged, "I mean, self-proclaimed party lover such as myself can't hear about a 'first' of any kind of party and not show up! I mean, we all only live once, right?" he flashed his grin, and Mabel felt more goose-bumps on her back. Too the brunettes shock, Pacifica walked right up next to him, and then slapped his arm. "Hey, what gives?" Zander asked, nervously chuckling as Pacifica scowled at him.

"You totally were needed a few days ago!" Pacifica told him. Mabel took half a step back, studying the two of them. "Where have you been? I've tried calling you for days."

"Yeah, sorry," Zander grinned sheepishly. "I've found that just because you retire early, it doesn't mean you actually stop doing stuff."

"So, the famous Zander Maximillion," Arline's voice added, looking down at them from her perch, "finds _what_ to do in his retirement?"

"What do you mean?" Zander asked with a shrug," I guess, uh, garden and make music? I'd want to say cook, but I'm horrible at cooking. Haven't cooked in probably a millennia," he laughed.

"Pacifica was able to get into your house, and you weren't answering your phone," Arline added out.

"Master," Mabel turned to her. The questions seemed slightly more pointed than usual.

"Nah, it's okay. I heard the about the commotion in town," Zander said worriedly, "the explosion. Crazy. No one was hurt, but still... that's pretty bad. Pacifica left some voicemails letting me know I missed something heavy."

"Oh, you know, nearly avoiding a special war between humans and the supernatural animals and things that live around here," Mable shrugged, "no biggie."

Zander blinked. "...oh. I missed out on... all of that?" he whined.

"Well, and me shooting a werewolf with that wolfsbane you planted," Pacifica added, "but that was mostly it."

"Man. Wrong time to visit some friends," Zander sighed and looked around, the light in his eyes shining again, "but I can help out now!" he rubbed his hands together, the excitement rushing through his eyes.

"Mister Maximillion," Preston Northwest called from the top of the stairs, looking down on the group, "surely you'd rather enjoy a Champaign from our Franklin collection. We'd love to discuss fundraiser events with you."

"Yeah, sure, fundraiser or stuff," Zander waved his hand above his head, not turning about, "book me for, uh, next thursday or something." Mister Northwest's glare fixed on the rock star, but he said nothing.

"Well," Arline spoke up, "as long as you're keeping up with us now, and not skipping out on the fun bits, we're glad to have you help."

"I live for fun," Zander said.

"Then help me adjust the banister here," Arline nodded, and Zander patted the two girls shoulders.

"What was he doing that had him stay out of the loop like that?" Pacifica asked quietly to herself and Mabel, "he's pretty good at staying up to date."

"Said he was meeting friends, didn't he?" Mabel reminded her, leaning over to her. "Maybe he got to see his family or something."

"He doesn't talk to his family anymore," Pacifica quickly said. Mabel stared at her until she noticed. "He told me."

"What? He didn't tell me, but let you know something like that?" Mabel whined. Pacifica rolled his eyes.

"Look, he's not that mysterious or whatever. Just ask him something and he'll tell you. Besides," she looked back to the pair now fixing the banister, "he says they lived on a farm. He said he grew up closer to the east coast."

"What... he tells you everything. I'm stupidly jealous," Mabel moaned as she took a long look over Zander's body.

"Don't be. Being a Northwest gets you that sort of attention. But Zander's not like that. Too 'chill' to let anything like that get to him, or something," Pacifica said.

Mabel chuckled. "Hah, what else is new?"

BOOM.

Pacifica gasped as Mabel instantly whipped her head to the source of the loud explosion. It wasn't a hard thing to spot though.

Miles and miles away, up along the mid-reaches of the mountain range, a huge fireball of an explosion rippled out of the crust of the earth and into the sky, leaving trails of black smoke as trees burnt and singed around it. The ball of fire itself had ripped a clean hole into the mountain, and was easily hundreds of feet wide.

"Volcano?!" Zander guessed, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. Arline jump down and ran next to Mabel.

"Doubt it. No serious volcanic activity in the region. Mabel, what do you think?" she asked Mabel. "Him again?"

"I don't-" Mabel started.

Out of the huge fireball, a smaller burning object hurtled through the sky. Heading straight for town and to the Mansion, the group outside stared in awe. It less hurtled and more glided. No- it was even more graceful than that.

Birds began to fly away overhead. Squeaks and cries of smaller woodland animals marked the advance of a monster in the sky. The roar of bears and the even the howl of wolves and bark of dogs all called to the arrival of... it. Mabel's mouth fell open. Burning in the sky, winged, and scary to everything- was this another phoenix? Awoken deep in the mountains of Gravity Falls?

No. It was solid. Burning, solid, and flying.

Then it took a dive straight for the manor, and a horrible shrill roar rattled the air.

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" Arline screamed. Zander dived under a stone bench and covered his head and neck instantly. Mabel was so mesmerized with the flaming bomb diving straight for her that she never saw Arline tackling her to the hard, cold floor. It was hard to make out still, surrounding by fire.

"Pacifica! Get inside!"

Mabel whipped her gaze around. Pacifica hadn't found a good spot to hide yet- she only stare up at the sky as the ball closed in.

"Wait! Pacifica!" Mabel screamed as Pacifica did as her father told, and left the possible cover of the side of the stairs.

"NO! GET DOWN!" Arline screamed. "IT'S COMING!"

Mabel tried to stand back up, but was held back by Arline. "No!" she shouted, trying to pull herself closer to Pacifica, to run and flatten her to the stairs. "Master, let me help!"

Pacifica screamed, and Mabel yelled. The ball of fire passed right over her head- going straight for Pacifica. Instantly as Pacifica's voice was drowned out by the whirl and rush of air and wind, the find was snuffed out. Black, thick, vile smelling smoke billowed around, and all but Mabel seemed to hack and cough their lungs out. Instead, Mabel stared at something.

Through the faint light of the dissipating smoke, she saw a huge creature. Ribbed on it's back and large wings to it's side, the beast seemed to have got what it came for. In a flash, another monstrous roar filled the air, and the black smoke was pelted away with a gust. A skyward trail of smoke was all the indication that there had been a monster of some sort there.

Pacifica was gone.

"No! No!" Preston Northwest rushed down to the spot where he last saw his daughter. Only piles of soot remained.

"Oh my god," Zander gasped as he saw the man claw at the piles of black dust.

"Pacifica!" The voice of Pacifica's mother shouted into the sky, as the woman came running out, rushing past her husband. She nearly slammed into Mabel, who was pulled aside by Arline. Landing against the railing harshly, the mother screamed as she reached out, her hand desperate to grasp her now gone daughter.

Mabel turned as well. She could see the plume of smoke flying back towards the mountains.

"You!" the woman before Mabel spun, her finger honed in towards Arline. "You're supposed to be a fire-kind of person! Pyrotechnics! Stunt extra!"

"What?!" Arline gasped. She stammered as the mother raced to her, grabbing her by the collar and nearly throwing her to a wall, but Arline stood her ground. The wide northwest's strength was not impressive.

"You could have saved her! Instead you chose to duck and hide your precious little rug-rat!"

"That's my apprentice you're speaking about," Arline warned her, reaching down and gently removing her hands from her collars, "and what could I have done!?"

"Jumped to my daughter and saved her! That would have been the clear thing to do!"

"Now our Pacifica, in all her conflicted ways," Preston Northwest said, his lower lip trembling as Candy and Grenda raced past him, "has been spirited away by some demon!"

"I doubt that was a demon," Arline muttered. A deadly glare from both parents had her clear her throat. "Look, you're the ones who told your daughter to run instead of get down! And if that thing was going to dive down and snatch someone anyway, it would have happened even if she was on the ground!"

"How dare you make excuses to me!" Preston Northwest shouted, and with a quick sweep, attempted to backhand her face. The resulting impact barely moved Arline, but the Northwest cringed and held his hand to his side. "And consider that a lawsuit!"

"You slapped _me_," Arline pointed out, barely winced to the attack.

"And you're attempting to make excuses to us! The rich!?" he shouted to her, "that's _our_ job to do to you!"

"Okay, calm down," Zander stepped up, moving in between the enraged parents and the martial artist, who seemed to be losing patience with the two.

"Calm down!?" the mother screamed.

"Our only daughter, the last heir to our family, was just spirited away by some monster!" the father roared. Zander nodded and tried not to smile, but it seemed muscle memory was stronger than his intention.

"I know, I know, but surely Arline would have done something if she could have..."

Mabel stared at the mountain where the black cloud of smoke had flown too. It wasn't far. A good run- maybe less if she got her bike around the mansion. If Pacifica was still alive, which didn't seem that far of a stretch, she could get there. After all, Mabel was deceptively fast and Pacifica was deceptively strong. Two pairs of hands appeared on either side of Mabel, and she glanced aside.

"She got taken by some mega-smoke monster?" Grenda asked, putting a hand to her brow, craning at the horizon.

"And I thought Zander missed all the excitement," Candy sighed, "one break to get clothes, and we hear screaming and fire."

"Figures," Grenda grumbled. She turned to Mabel, who's eyes still were fixed ahead. Grenda snorted. "We're coming."

"Nope," Mabel shook her head.

"We can't let you go alone," Candy told her, a hand on Mabel's shoulder.

"And I can't let you guys come with me," Mabel said, stepping back and looking to the two of them.

"We have gone on scary and dangerous adventures with you before," Candy pointed out.

"Yeah! What gives?" Grenda asked.

"It's different now. Warlock wouldn't even think to stop and let you guys leave if he thought you'd be helping me," Mabel told them. "I mean, fighting a werewolf is one thing- Dipper and I did that before without you guys. But you haven't seen what this guy will do to you."

"All the better to go with you," Candy said.

"But-" Mabel groaned.

"C'mon Mabel," Grenda cracked her knuckles, "we're in."

"...fiiine," Mabel sighed, shaking your head, "just don't get too hurt, right?"

"No problem."

"Like I even can get hurt."

"Mabel," Arline stepped over, leaving the trio of millionaires to talk amongst themselves for a moment. She had only to look at the three girls to know exactly what they were planning. She sighed. "Well, trying to stop you won't work, and the last thing I need to is hurt you while physically stopping you."

"Come with?" Mabel suggested with a toothy grin. Arline shook her head. "What? Why not?"

"Because I'm the only one here who could actually do something in case this thing happens again," she explained angrily. "I don't want to be near them, but we shouldn't have the Northwests be _all_ burnt to a crisp," she muttered, gritting her teeth, "and we shouldn't get Zander killed either."

"So you're going to stay and protect our base?" Mabel asked.

Arline shrugged. "As best I can."

"Okay," Mabel said. She had only to smile to her master, Arline Hirsh. It was enough to calm the older woman, who tense posture melted as she nodded. Mabel, the unstoppable force of whatever she put her mind to. The young teen walked past her, and spoke aloud. "I'm going to go find Pacifica!" she declared, startling the parents. "Keep setting up the party! That way when we get back, we can add even _more_ streamers! Oh! And some snacks!" From the sight of the shocked parents, Mabel spun about, to her friends, and made a dash for the railing.

"LETS GO!" Mabel roared triumphantly. Arline reached out however and stopped her, grabbing her and lifting her into the air for a moment.

"That's a twenty five foot drop. Walk around like a normal person," she told her student.

"Awww, that's not even half as cool," Mabel whined.

"Fine. Sprint around the side," Arline rolled her eyes as she put down Mabel.

"That's acceptable! Come, my friends! Mystery Twin, detachment squad beta is a go!"

"Onward!" Candy cheered as she and Grenda followed Mabel with haste up the stairs. Only a moment or two later, they had raced nearly all the way around the mansion and vanished out of sight.

"Beta squad?" Zander asked aloud, scratching his head, "did she just make that up, or are there really that many little groups of friends they can just send out at will?" Arline stared at him, half way to frowning. "What?" he asked her.

Fifteen minutes into the woods, and their energy was still peaking. Grenda, Mabel, and Candy all tumbled, jumped, and leapt from trees and boulders, their momentum ceasing to slow. It was an amazement to Mabel that they were able to not only keep up with her, but keep conversation along the way.

"So what if the thing attacks us?" Grenda asked.

"Depends on how cute it is and how much it looks like it'd hurt us," Mabel explained as she pushed her way off a log. Darting past the trio, more animals took flight.

"It seems like everything else is scared," Candy pointed out, stopping for a moment to adjust her glasses while atop a boulder.

"Well, some animals are smarter than others," Mabel shrugged, "deer think everyone is scary, but we'd never hurt a deer!"

"I dunno, venison is really tasty," Grenda suggested.

"Eww," Mabel groaned as she flipped over a bush.

"GAH!"

"Whoa!" Mabel gasped as she tucked her feet in, attempting to stop herself from stomping down on a red-capped tiny man.

"What the heck are you doing!?" Jeff the Gnome demanded, adjusting his hat as Mabel rolled to the ground ahead of him. "Don't run that way you idiot! Run that-" As Jeff pointed behind him, Grenda charged through the bush, and smashed him into the moss under her foot.

"Did I step on something?" she asked, checking her foot. Only a small red hat remained, as the gnome himself lay imbedded into the ground.

"Jeff," Mabel said as Candy caught up, avoiding a large moose fleeing around them. "The heck-a-doodles is going on?"

"Evacuation!" Jeff coughed as he pulled himself up. Grenda just peeled his tiny hat from her shoe when he raced over and snatched it from her fingers. "At least one of you isn't thick enough to step on a gnome."

"Why are you evacuating?" Mabel asked. Jeff gasped.

"Really? You didn't see or hear that thing?!" he pointed to the fire on the mountain. "That's it for most of us forest-dwelling types! We've got to wait until it stops flying around and burning everything!"

"_What _is flying around?" Mabel demanded, reaching down and lifting the gnome to her face and shaking him, "tell me what you know little man!"

"Ow! Ouch! Eek! Stop!" Jeff groaned, "put me down or I'll have reason to be violent!"

"Indeed," another voice called. The three human girls turned their heads. A platoon of tiny winged humans were flying their way through the forest. The Fairies were also heading towards the fire.

"Jingle-Blossom," Mabel said, and tossed Jeff aside. He fell and hit his head against a log, and tumbled out of sight.

"Mabel," the mother said, wearing what could only be described as a very, very small fire-fighter uniform, with the suit wrapping around the wings, "what are you doing here? It's not safe for those who can't handle fire."

"Fairies handle fire?" Mabel asked, astounded. "I'd think it'd burn you."

"Which is why we have these suits?" Jingle-Blossom said, indicating her wear with her hands.

Mabel nodded. "Didn't know you were a fairy-firefighter."

"Volunteer most other days," the proud mother shrugged. "This is the first big forest fire in these woods in a long time. You three should probably get out quickly, or you may get caught in the blaze."

"Actually, we need to get to wherever... _it_ went," Mabel declared.

"What?!" the fairy gasped. "Why in the name of our queen would you want to do that?"

"It took a friend of Mabel's," Grenda said.

"Friend of ours," Mabel corrected her. Grenda shrugged.

"Not me, tell you what."

"Nor I," Candy added.

"Ugh, you guys," Mabel groaned.

"I do not know if looking for this friend will be, ah, fruitful," she warned, pointing up. The three turned behind them as Jeff climbed out of the bushes, groaning angrily. A clearing in the canopy provided the visual. "The last we saw of the beast, it made it's way to the cave which lies empty."

"Beast?" Grenda asked. "What kind of beast?"

"We can't speak of it's name," Jingle-Blossom said quietly, "it is a legend to us magical folk: a long, lost animal with such power and majesty that matches the tales of gods themselves! To incite their anger is to tempt death, and to-"

"It's a freakin' dragon," Jeff told them, and then ran off.

"There have been dragons in Gravity Falls!?" Grenda gasped. She and Candy looked to one another, and began to excitedly giggle.

"Man, Dipper and I have been missing out if we didn't find a dragon all this time," Mabel sighed. "There's been dragons just waiting around and we didn't notice?" Mabel asked of the fairy-firefighter, who stared at the three humans with her mouth agape.

"You realize that dragons are the scariest of scary animals, right?" she asked. "Top predators. Killers, fire breathers, sky masters, and dominators or whatever lands they want to live in?"

"We should get one as a pet," Candy said.

Jingle-Blossom gasped. It seemed offensive to her that they would be excited at the prospect of a dragon. "Well the fires won't be spreading that way now. We'll be handling the flames with our magic. Just... don't upset it and have it start any more fires, please?"

"No promises!" Mabel shouted as she and her friends spun around and charged off towards the indicated direction.

"I would have liked a promise!" Jingle-Blossom shouted after them, her shrill, tiny voice echoing around them.

Indeed, as they began to climb up the mountain through the woods, the heat of the semi-distant fire on the wind carried around them. It was certainly drier here than it was back by the Mystery Manor. The smell of smoke, and something like bad eggs, sat thick on the air.

"It's probably sulfur," Candy admitted after a few gags from Grenda.

"I hate chemistry," she muttered.

"Here here," Mabel agreed, still leading the charge.

Their pace was slowed now. Going up-hill and with the wind blowing nauseating smells to around their faces was harder than anticipated. Not at a steady hike, the three coordinated their approach as the forest began to fade away. After a dozen well taken steps, the three were out in the open, only in the company of rocks. Behind them and to the right was the burning mountainside where the dragon had come from.

"Man, look at the flames," Mabel said, peering over with her hand as a visor.

"You think a dragon just woke up and decided attack someone?" Grenda asked Mabel.

Mabel shook her head. "I mean, unless the old stories where dragons steal away princesses are true, no. And even if that story was true, Pacifica only wishes she was a real princess. She can't buy royalty. I think, at least," Mabel admitted. She shook her head, getting slightly off topic. "I think the bad-guys were trying to do something to the dragon, and maybe they made it mad."

"So an angry dragon swoops down and grabs Pacifica?" Candy asked. Mabel shrugged, uncertain how to add in on their hypothesis. "I mean, if I wanted to eat someone as a dragon, I think someone with less makeup and more meat would be a better meal."

"You always think of the best things, Candy," Mabel snickered as she continued to climb.

"So do we really think she's alive?" Grenda asked.

"Of course!" Mabel declared. "A dragon isn't going to take any girl and just eat her; even Pacifica!"

"Why not?" Grenda asked, scowling at the 'bad news'.

"Because there's like a bajillion other more filling things than people around here," Mabel pointed to the woods. Candy grinned and nodded.

"I am glad our studies sometimes overlap, Mabel," Candy told her.

The rest of the climb drove itself into silence. The wind became colder, and the whistle it brought shrill. The smell of sulfur was joined by the distinct trace of burnt rock and ashes. It seemed like they could almost touch the clouds, and the world below them was so large and distant that a map could be drawn in their minds just by turning around and looking down.

Then their destination was presented: the opening to a natural cave.

"Okay, be really super-ninja-stealth-secret-agent-woman here, okay?" Mabel asked of the two of them.

"Uh, stealth and ninja aren't my strong points," Grenda pointed out worriedly.

"I have the other adjectives covered," Candy proudly stated.

"Okay you two," Mabel sighed, "follow me. If we see fire, run to the nearest cover and duck. Let's go."

Almost crouching as they walked into the massive opening to the rather spooky and smelly cave, the three could hear the rumble of wind hitting the edges of the cave. It was inconsistent, flowing and ebbing in peaks. The smell though- that was constant.

Mabel felt the floor beneath fall away, and she instantly halted. The two behind her peeked around. With a point of her finger as their guide, Mabel directed them to look down.

In the dirt of the floor, a clawed footprint rested. It was easily the size of Mabel.

"This thing is huge," Grenda gulped.

"Oh yes, it certainly is," Candy added, adjusting her glasses. During the adjustment, she looked up and then gasped. "Th-th-th-th-"

"There," Mabel finished for her.

The three darted to the closest boulder. Once hidden safely behind the thick rock, they all peeked around.

Resting in the shadows, the beast lay down, it's large chest growing and shrinking with the miss-identified wind. The sound they had been hearing all along was it's breaths. Scales lined all around it. Although Mabel couldn't get a clear reading on the size of the beast, she guessed an easy thirty feet long. The dragon's front arms also served as wings- with thin membrane folded to it's side as it slept. While in the shadow, the only noticeable trait Mabel could make out was the long row of razor sharp spines along it's back and the distinct pair of lightning-bolt shaped horns protruding from it's shadowing skull.

"So, uh," Mabel stammered, "this... this is the part my brain just goes blamp," Mabel told her friends, "I was kind of assuming that we'd just see an evil dragon thing and we'd fight it to get back Pacifica."

"If she's still alive," Candy reminded Mabel.

"Of course I'm still alive!"

The three ladies yelped and slid to the back of the boulder. Mabel pushed past Grenda and found Pacifica.

"You're alive!" Mabel gasped and quickly hugged her.

"For now," the blond grumbled. She turned to Mabel's friends, eyeing them. "Brought them as back up?"

"They came because they could help you," Mabel explained. The two rolled their eyes and looked away. Pacifica snorted.

"Fine, whatever. Let's get out of here and then we can deal with giant dragon later," she suggested.

"Okay, back out of the cave," Mabel pointed.

"Easiest rescue ever," Grenda grinned, and bounced her first gently off Candy's.

Then Pacifica's phone rang. It was an obnoxious pop song, about wealth and power. Pacifica gasped and ripped it out from under her dress, desperate to shut it off. As the other three hissed at her to hurry, continuing to eye the stirring dragon, Pacifica did the only thing she thought she could do: she tossed the phone at a wall, where it shattered.

"I can get a new one," she told the other three quietly when they gaped at her. Sadly enough, a stalactite split off from the ceiling and crashed onto the phone with a loud boom.

The dragon's head shot up, and looked around. In no time at all, it spotted the four. Bright yellow eyes with long black slits for pupils glared at Mabel.

"RUN!" Mabel roared as the dragon suddenly was engulfed in flames.

The three only could get out of the cave before it caught up with them. Blasting past them and into the sky, the dragon's full appearance was laid bare.

Mabel had been far, far off in terms of size. It was over sixty feet long, and even wider with it's wing span. Bright purple scales decorated it's body. It had something of a strange body- with a long, thin tale and neck, but a thick, almost crocodilian snout and jaw. The fire subsided from around it's body, and the yellow eyes peered among the now stalled four girls. It locked onto Pacifica, and dived.

Mabel tried this time- she also jumped for the blond, but the dragon's wind slammed her and the two others to the ground. Pacifica screamed and shouted- she was in the talons of the dragon itself. It would not keep her there though. With only a quick and loud snort, the dragon tossed her high into the air, and then caught her on it's back. Too scared to fall the great height, Pacifica screamed again and tightly gripped the neck of the beast.

"MABEL! GUYS! SAVE ME! HELP!"

Mabel and her friends stood as the dragon swooped away from the cave, the same familiar shrill roar filling the air around them.

"Well, that wasn't very successful," Candy admitted as she dusted herself off.

"But man, what would I give to have a dragon like that," Grenda told Candy with a smile.

Mabel continued to watch the dragon fly. It wasn't flying to town again or to the mansion. A blue shimmer of light caught Mabel's attention as the reflection of the sun bounced into her eye.

"The lake," Mabel muttered, "it's going to the lake!" Mabel then started running down the slope. "C'mon guys! We can get there soon-ish!"

The two friends groaned, and followed suit with as little grace and concern as they could. Clearly, chasing after a screeching rich-girl blond was not on their top priorities.

* * *

And so the three brave knights continue on their quest to save the stolen away princess.

Yeah. That's pretty much what's going on here. Not only that, the specific design of my dragon, as a **_few_** of you may know, is not an original one. That is a hint for something very, very distant in the future. So distant it's not even part of the series.

What's that? A hint? Sure!

**-Ollp fk 'SGGBW: Nlmhgilfh Mrtsgnziv'-**

Ohhhh that's right. The hint is ciphered. But don't worry- it's an easy one to crack.

Also, this is the episode with the least amount of Dipper to be in it. Likewise, the most amount of Mabel! Sorry Dipper fans- he's doing research. Not nearly as fun as chasing down dragons. :p

Well, that's all I've got for this week! Come back next Sunday for the exciting conclusion! Hint again? The Warlock wants his pet back.

(A dragon crashes through the wall, and turns to EZB)

AHA! Not this time! (EZB grasps and lifts a powerful thick shield. As the dragon breathes fire at EZB, the shield protects him from burns.) See? your fire does nothing, lizard! Pfffffft!

(Another dragon flies in, glares at EZB, and then hurls a large blob of acid at EZB. The poor author is instantly enveloped. When the acid falls away, only a skeleton remains.)

Skeleton Remains of EZB: Shoot. Wasn't prepared this time.


	48. Draconic Tendencies: Part 2

In her life, Pacifica Northwest had been told that raising her voice to anything above an angry yell at failing servants was rude and inappropriate. A Northwest always held themselves to the code of dignity and upper-class demeanor. There were exceptions to the rules, though. Sometimes a good shouting was called for in the run of the strange and unusual.

This was one of those times, and Pacifica made no attempt to hide her fear.

The dragon beneath her soared through the cold, wet clouds. Her hair was now covered in freezing water, and her skin prickled with the sting of harsh wind. She could barely force her eyes open, only fear demanding she saw where she was going. Her legs wrapped tightly around the base of the monster's neck, she held onto it's horns, still screaming in fear.

How had the day become this? It was fourth of July! Her day to revel with her friends- a day of distant hope that she may be free of her parents grasp. No, today she would be fearing for her life as she soared above clouds and mountain tops, suspended over her very true death only by a fire breathing dragon.

Her body tense and tickled as the dragon dived. If she hadn't been screaming, she would have screamed even louder. The cloud darted above her and before her was the lake. Finally lowering to the ground, Pacifica wondered if it passed over the water low enough if she couldn't just jump off.

She was ready now. Broken toes or fingers be damned- that lake could be her best bet for escaping a man-eater that carried her around like a trophy. _Well, tough call dragon_, Pacifica thought to herself, stalling her screaming as she gritted her teeth, watching the ground grow closer, _I'm no princess!_

Readied to drop as soon as she could, Pacifica felt the sting of air lesson. The breeze became warmer and warmer. Yet she cringed- the dragon wasn't diving for the lake, but the lake shore.

Ten seconds later, the dragon leveled out it's wings and glided to one of the sandy beaches- totally uninhabited. With a strong gust of summer air, the Dragon landed with a jolt. Pacifica barely held on, but stayed perfectly still.

At least for the landing, afterwards, she murmured to herself, and leapt off. Unlike Mabel, Pacifica had little training with coordination, and thus fell to he knees. The dragon passed over her, crawling to the water on it's folded wings and hind legs.

_No chances._

Pacifica turned and ran. The beach was only so large, and she could see the forest edge. Full sand turned to course brown and to grey, evolving into dirt. The dragon rumbled loudly, and she stalled and tripped. Landing in the harsh dirt, Pacifica swore under her breath. Scraping her knee sucked, but at least she was away from her captor.

Turning back to the source of noise, she gasped. Something was emerging from the lake. The dragon had made a low rumble in response to a coming bulge in the lake. Staring with her mouth fallen open the entire time, Pacifica saw, the first time in her life, that the crazy conspiracy theorists weren't always wrong.

The Lake Monster, the Gobblewonker, rose out of the water like a snake, it's head revealing itself first before the bulk of it's body. It glided in the water towards the dragon, which stared back at the monster.

"Oh, please kill the dragon, please kill the dragon," Pacifica begged the coming monster of legend.

The dragon, while a very large creature, was not nearly as tall as the Gobblewonker. Towering above the dragon, the pre-historic remnant glared down at the firebreather. Maybe Pacifica would get the satisfaction of the two killing one another.

Then it rumbled back, a low resonance, and it bobbed it's head. The dragon followed suit, bobbing its much larger head in response. They mimed each other for a moment, and then, within a quick experience, the two stopped. The Gobblewonker, without more than look to Pacifica, turned and dived back into the waters as the dragon began to scoop up large helpings of lake water into it's gullet.

"What?!" Pacifica gasped. "That's it?"

No battle of beasts, no epic fight that could free her. She had witnessed the possibility of unity in the animal kingdom, only when it served against her.

Yet, the dragon was drinking deeply. It couldn't see her. Or at least she was sure it could.

_Run_.

Barely a thought passed in her head as she spun and hurtled into the forest. There was nothing now to stop her from fleeing.

The forest edge met her and she was engulfed into the woods. Around trees and boulders she ran, her dress swaying in the gust of wind she emulated. If there was anything she needed, it was to clear space between her and the dragon.

Turning around once, she could no longer see the water's edge. She grinned. She may actually get away! Without that thing following her too!

After several minutes of hurtling through the woods, Pacifica came to a gasping stop. The love of freedom and safety pulsed through her, and now she could stop. Then as she caught her breath, she remembered the extent of her situation; stranded, in the middle of the deep, dark, Gravity Falls woods, without her purse.

That meant the small knife she carried, the pepper spray, and her two most important weapons- phone and credit card, were also missing. No gps, no map system to check online- just the surroundings of the woods, and the rustling of the wind above her, which now carried sinister reminders to Pacifica.

Maybe though, just maybe, she could find a hill, and then climb a tree? Find a vantage point to secure her location. She knew she was on the other side of the lake from the public access, so she could either be really close to home or... really far away.

The area seemed flat though. At best, she could see the slopes of the mountains around Gravity Falls still. Then, some hundred feet or so ahead, a clearing.

"Yes," she muttered as she rushed forward, her already tired legs and arms barely able to keep up with her needs. It was, to her luck, a large meadow. Several deer spotted her, but only watched her pause.

"Okay, uh, it's got to be like, uh one? So the sun sets in the east? Or was it the west?" Pacifica looked up to the sky, trying to spot the sun. Several of the high clouds above blotted out the exact position of the sun, and she grumbled. Wind passed through the trees and she shivered. The remembrance of being so high up without any support but the dragon was too recent, and she shivered. Looking back into the trees for a moment, she heard a rustle of movement.

The deer had all run off, darting deep into the woods. Pacifica stared at their positions now, looking fearfully back at her. It had gotten a bit darker with the rustle of wind, but she wasn't sure that-

The tree directly behind her snapped in two. Splinters and branches crashed around her and she ran. It was behind her.

She could barely get fifteen feet away from where she had just been. Flying bits of tree and the shrieking of a horrible monster behind her caused her to stumble and fall, tripping over a small bush. She slid into the hard ground and felt the sting of more scraps and bruises forming along her arms and face. It didn't matter through- the light above her was blotted out.

Pacifica looked up once more, and saw the head of the dragon peering down on her, and she shrieked. She would not look on death. She couldn't. Closing her eyes and holding herself as tightly into a ball, she cowed.

"Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me..."

Her praying seemed to have effect.

Blinking and opening her eyes, Pacifica turned and looked up. The big, yellow eyes peered down at her, the head tilted slightly to one side. The animal watched her, blinking.

Pacifica could only stare back.

"You're just waiting," she told the dragon, "you're just waiting until I think I'm safe, so you can kill me anyway."

The dragon tilted it's head again, listening to her.

"Can... you understand me?" she asked, blinking back.

The dragon, once again, tilted it's head.

"Uh... I'm standing up now. If you eat me, I'll punch your throat until you puke," Pacifica warned the monster before her as she stared up. The dragon said nothing. Moved to do nothing. It only stared down at her.

"Okay... so... dragon is just stalking me now. I mean," Pacifica started to push herself up, "I can understand why you'd think I'm a princess: great hair, fair skin, loves animals, but- one of the bruises along her arm twanged and she stumbled forward. Her face fell right at the claws of the monster.

Pacifica gulped. Up close, those claws were easily each the size of her forearm. Pretty dang big.

Only it pulled away. With a startled gasp, Pacifica looked up as the jaw of the dragon lowered down, and pushed itself next to her. "What're you- AHH!" she screamed as the dragon pushed itself under her, and pushed her back to her feet. A stumble later, Pacifica stood fully up, hyperventilating.

As it had done for the past several minutes, it continued to watch her carefully.

Pacifica took several steps to the right. The head of the dragon turned and followed her. Several steps more to the left. Still, the eyes and head locked onto her like magnets.

"You... you're not going to kill me?" she asked it. The dragon tilted it's head. "Ugh!" she grumbled. "You're just like Alphie," she muttered as she looked to the dragon. It blinked, one eye before the other.

Something about it blinking like that made her chuckle. Could it be that this apex predator, the scariest, meanest thing she had ever met, which included that nasty giant spider and poltergeist, was just a dumb animal? That liked her for some odd reason. Either way, it still hadn't killed her.

"You're not going to eat me, are you?" she asked it. When it said nothing. "What do you want from me?" she said, adjusting her dress. The dragon rumbled gently, it's deep sound vibrating into the earth. "Uh, okay then," she stumbled for words.

The dragon lowered its head and slowly closed its eyes. Right before her did this strange creature begin to nap. Was this... some sign of dominance? Or did it just not care about her? Pacifica studied herself- maybe she had done something or had something on her that made herself seem docile.

All she could see was her shoes, and her purple dress.

She glanced back to the dragon. With its head lowered, she spotted something not naturally belonging on an animal, as far as she was concerned. A metal choker was tied at the base of it's neck, singed but not broken away. Passing by the bright yellow horns the creature poked up towards the sky, Pacifica studied the choker. It had to studs onto it, build in either side.

She knew enough about horse riding to guess that it could have been part of a saddle. Or a restraint system.

That wasn't all on the beastie. She spotted the belly of the beast, poking just slightly out to the side. It almost made her laugh at first- it was such a large creature and had such a large stomach that surely it shouldn't fly. A joke would have been appropriate for her, if it hadn't been hurt.

A large, smoldering burn was streaked across the underside. The scales hadn't been seared away, but they seemed to have been glossed together. Pacifica blinked as she felt out with her hand. Was there something out there that could burn dragons? Here she thought they were fireproof.

As soon as she touched it, the dragon jolted and moved aside, snarling. Pacifica fell back and whimpered.

"Sorry!" she told the dragon as it curled around it's stomach, and began to lick it with a long, serpentine tongue. "You... you burned yourself there, I think," she pointed out to the dragon, who ignored her as it lapped the wound.

This didn't sit right with her. A dragon being burned was already odd, but now if the dragon had a harness piece stuck on it, wouldn't that mean someone was trying to ride it? Or tame it? Control it?

Who knew about dragons around here?

Her first pick was the twins, but based on how Mabel handled herself back in the cave, something told Pacifica that the Pines didn't know about dragons either. After all, Mabel hadn't come running in with a insane, brilliant plan. Which meant it was probably someone else. The homeless, eccentric McGucket may have had something to do with this, if robots were involved...

No. Pacifica remembered that there was something else, someone else, at work in the area who had the kind of know-how that the twins did. The so-called Warlock.

The dragon's head peaked up, and it snarled. Pacifica glanced around. "What? What is it?!" she demanded as the dragon stood on it's legs. Without hesitation, the dragon became entirely engulfed in flames, and it turned it's attention towards a large boulder. Pacifica stumbled away further, feeling the heat of the crackling immolation. Snarling, it continued it's sentry of the rock.

"Pacifica! Run!"

"Mabel?" Pacifica called to the rock.

"Hey!" a hand jotted out from behind the large rock. Not a second passed before the dragon roared and spat a large jet of flame at the rock. The hand was instantly withdrawn. "But seriously, just run away! We'll distract big and scary!" she called over the boulder.

"Wait! No, hold on!" Pacifica shouted. The dragon moved forward, stomping closer to the now mildly melted boulder. No longer on fire, she could approach it. Pacifica ran forward, and slid right in front of the dragon. "Stop!" she shouted. The dragon lurched, but came to a halt. Eyes fixed on Pacifica, she pointed behind her. "Don't hurt them. They're not going to hurt me, or you!"

The dragon leaned in closer to her, yellow eyes intently watching her.

"Don't hurt them," she repeated, "okay? Give me a nod, like this," Pacifica nodded her head, "and promise you won't hurt them." The dragon eyed the boulder behind her once more, but then did as told. It nodded.

"Okay," Pacifica sighed, and turned around. "It's not going to hurt you guys. Come out."

"Uh, oh, so, not that we don't believe you, Pacifica," Mabel called over.

"But if it doesn't listen to you, we kind of die if we pop over," Candy added.

"Fine," Pacifica rolled her eyes, "stay here," she said to the dragon. As the dragon gave a loud snort, she rushed ahead and walked around the horrible smelling rock. Hiding behind the rock was the three girls. "Then step out with me."

Mabel stared at Pacifica, and then to her friends. This was a mildly risky maneuver. Trust in Pacifica wasn't the issue- it was the dragon. The big beast that could easily kill all four of them in a matter of moments. Well, probably not- they'd give it a run for it's money.

Still, Pacifica seemed confident in her safety. Mabel pursed her lips. She had wondered all this time, running with the two girls next to her, why the dragon had taken the blonde. Maybe she was right- there was something more than just random luck and a need for food. So, with a sigh, she pushed herself off the rock, and stepped to her friend.

"And you two?" Pacifica asked Candy and Grenda. "It won't breathe fire on me."

"Well, uh," Grenda stumbled. Then Candy sighed, shook herself for a moment, and also stepped over. "Aw, heck with it." Grenda grumbled and also stepped out.

"Care to introduce us?" Mabel asked Pacifica, glancing at the dragon. The blond sighed.

"Dragon. Don't eat my friends unless they do something really dumb or annoying," Pacifica told the dragon. It rumbled and seemed to grin.

"That wasn't exactly what I asked," Mabel admitted.

"Shut up and come over here," Pacifica rolled her eyes and pulled on Mabel's arms. Not daring to resist the sweet-heart of a dragon, Mabel went with Pacifica and her two friends followed closely behind. "Look," Pacifica pointed to the neck, and Mabel squinted. The dragon glared at them, but at their safe distance, it made no hostile moves.

"A chain?" Mabel asked.

"It's a harness piece I think," Pacifica told them.

"You put that around the dragon already?" Grenda asked.

"No!" Pacifica snapped, "It was like that when I checked it. Seriously, where would I just keep a large, metal, collar on me?"

"I don't know, who knows what you got on your purse these days," Grenda bit back. Pacifica glared, but said nothing.

Mabel was busy studying the neck. There wasn't just the collar. There were scratches in the chain as well. Something had been digging into the neck, sharp and hard enough to cut away at those thick dragon scales. Only a moment of eyeing the dragon did Mabel look to the right, and find a large burnt patch.

"Yikes," she said and pointed, "looks like he burnt himself when he got all hot and bothered earlier."

"That was there before the fire thing it did," Pacifica told her.

"Wait... it didn't burn itself there?" Mabel asked. Pacifica shook her head. "Something _else_ burned a dragon? The scary lizard dues who rule the skies?"

"I think they're reptiles, actually," Candy pointed out.

"Thank you, _reptiles_ that rule the sky?" Mabel added.

"Looks that way," Pacifica shrugged, "I sure as heck didn't burn it. And it doesn't want anyone touching it," she added just as Mabel got closer to the wound.

"I won't!" Mabel whined. The dragon then stepped aside and whipped it's head to face Mabel. Mabel gulped and the dragon snarled. "Ooookay, message received, you big, mean, scaly muther-hubbard."

"Told you," Pacifica sighed.

Well, we can at least remove that collar thing, right?" Mabel said. Pacifica blinked and looked to the others.

"That thing is metal."

"Meh. We just got to pull at the weak spots," Mabel assured her, stepping alongside the dragon to it's neck. "Just make sure that it's okay with us going there. Grenda? Candy?" Mabel called to her friends, "some help, dudettes?"

The two stared at the dragon for a long moment, sharing an well-justified appreciation for the power it held. In the end, they resigned their fear and stepped next to the beast's neck.

"Sweet. Okay, you ready?" she asked.

"One," Grenda stated.

"Two," Candy shrugged.

"Three!" Mabel groaned as she pulled as hard as she could. As she had hoped, the metal around the neck was thick, but the sheet connector was a cheaper, softer metal. It snapped in two, and fell aside with a loud clunk. "Yikes, heavy stuff." Mabel gasped as she stepped away from the chunk of heavy steel. The neck of the dragon instantly shot up.

Without warning to the two ladies, the dragon shook it's head ferociously. Knocked aside and down by the whipping head, the three scrambled for cover- the dragon was clamoring around in circles, stretching it's head, scratching it on the melted boulder, and letting out a series of hisses and snaps in the air. Only Pacifica stood, watching the dragon.

"Hm. I think it's happy," she guessed with a grin. The dragon then stormed over to Pacifica, who flinched and ducked. Yet as she held her head, the dragon rubbed the side of it's head against her.

"Aww, I think it likes you," Mabel cooed. "I'm going to call her Magenta."

"Makes sense," Grenda chuckled as she stood up, "one fire breathing monster to like another."

"Hey!" Pacifica snapped back.

"Actually, based on appearance, it is possible the dragon sees you as kin," Candy said as she too stood, smudging dirt off her glasses.

"Kin?" Pacifica asked, trying to push the dragon off. It only came closer and rubbed harder.

"Kin, a type of relation closely associated with family and parental-" Candy started.

"AWW! I get it!" Mabel gasped and bounded off the dirt and over to the startled girl and her dragon. "It thinks your related to it!"

"How? We don't look anything alike," Pacifica said.

"But look at your hair and it's horns," Mabel grabbed a small chunk of Pacificas hair, and pointed to the horns, "same shade of gold! Oh! And your skin is the same type as it's belly scales!" Mabel pinched Pacifica's skin and pointed to the belly. "Aaaand, look at your dress and it's scales!"

Pacifica was slowly gathering the correlating data. Her brain seemed to gather each pointed out point on it's own, and she slowed down with each further point. Finally, after several seconds of staring at Mabel, she looked back to the Dragon. It stared back to Pacifica, those wide yellow eyes carefully drinking her in.

"Great. It thinks we're related," Pacifica sighed and stepped aside.

"I wish I had a dragon mom," Mabel sighed. "That'd be just too cool. Not that mom isn't cool, but still. _Dragon mom_. Dang. Good Magenta," she said, and patted the side of the dragon's snout.

"Or dragon pet!" Grenda piped in.

"Ha! Right. Dragon..." Pacifica slowly turned and stared at the dragon, "...pet..."

"Th-that's th-the idea."

The four gasped and turned to the edge of the forest. The dragon snorted and leapt over the group, hiding behind Pacifica.

Standing at the edge of the forest, flanked by four men in suits, was Graupner Kinley.

"Warlock," Mabel and Pacifica said in unison. They glanced to each other but said nothing.

"So, you're behind... dragons," Mabel stated. "Are you summoning them from far off parallel dimension, or breeding them in a lab? OR BOTH!" she declared.

He cocked an eyebrow and shook his head. "What makes you th-think that I have anything t-t-to do with making th-that thing?" Mabel peered back at the cowering dragon. The spins along the back of the dragon all curled down, along with the flaps of skin along it's head. "Just got l-lucky, and dug it out from a long buried c-cave. It got a little c-carried away when we t-tried tying it up."

"You tried tying it up?" Pacifica demanded.

"Not cool," Candy said.

"So, why d-don't you all just surrender, I d-don't have to worry about ki-killing you, and then hand the dragon over," the warlock said.

"Yeah, right," Mabel snorted. Her gaze turned to the men. All of them held their hands inside their jackets, gripping something tightly as they stared at the four and the dragon through sunglasses. Her quick glance of the men told her a few things- they weren't the agents, as they didn't have the earpieces, and they had no form of identification. These were some sort of bodyguards. She snapped her vision back to Graupner. "How did you find us?"

"Tracking d-device in the collar," he shrugged, "so, g-get lost or else-"

"Get lost?" Pacifica snorted, "excuse me? Do you even know who're you're talking to?"

"Northwest. P-Pacifica, the brat," the warlock chimed with glee.

Pacifica clenched her jaw. "Brat or not, I still have my family's power. You back off, or I get my phone, and I let them know they're going to call some dirty people to do some dirty things to you," Pacifica said, stepping closer to the dragon. "And I mean hit-men."

"Pacifica," Mabel whispered as subtly as she could, "I thought you dropped your purse."

"I did! I'm bluffing, stupid!" Pacifica hissed back, barely moving her lips. The Warlock laughed.

"My d-daddy is scarier th-than your daddy," he said in a mocking voice. Pacifica snarled, but gasped as Grenda stepped up next to her.

"YEAH!?" she roared, having the guardsman pull out their weapons- pistols. The pistols in mention however were cylindrical and had long barrels. Mabel was sure that those pistols weren't meant for standard bullets. Grenda continued, "how about we just have our new dragon friend show you what we think!?"

Graupner sneered, but his eyes betrayed him. Hesitation, even for a moment, meant that he still was afraid of the dragon. "That's why I brought some friends," he called loudly. Flying over the trees, a helicopter blew overhead, swooping past the unprepared teens and the dragon, who roared and cowed at the flying device.

"He has a helicopter too?" Candy whined. "Not fair."

"Mabel, you got an idea, right?" Pacifica asked quietly to Mabel. The brunette silently nodded, and behind her back made a finger-puppet show- using her hand as a base for ground and two fingers for legs. The stood silently at first, and then suddenly turned and darted aside. "Oh... I, uh... that'll work."

"Just make for your manor," Mabel said quietly. She looked to Grenda and Candy, effortlessly and silently communicating with them what she had just told Pacifica. The helicopter was still in the distance.

"Fine," Mabel called ahead, taking a step forward, "We'll-"

She whipped to the side, and ran across the field. The other three followed suit. The dragon, much larger than the others, began to crawl in stead with them, swerving left and right in it's gait.

"Oh c'mon!" The warlock grumbled across the field. The men beside him only watched for a moment, staring at the warlock. "G-get them!?" he reminded them. The four man shrugged and then began their chase.

With a dragon following close by, and three friends to watch out for, Mabel had officially continued her day's fill of chasing. She had been lucky, in her mind. It was only the fourth of July, and she had chased after a 'something'. Now she was being chased by, and needed cover quickly.

The helicopter was coming over.

"Here it comes!" Grenda roared as the flying machine darted above.

Mabel dared to glance up. In the helicopter, two men in suits stood, peering down on the group through rifles with scopes. Just like the four chasing after them now, they made little to no reaction as they shot down.

No loud bang into the air, no horrible crack of wood or splintering of earth. Mabel felt a projectile barely miss her arm.

"Tranquilizer darts!" she shouted.

"Great, so if we drop, we get captured and dragged off to who-knows where!" Pacifica complained as she jumped behind a tree and continued running. "I'm so sick of running for my life!"

"Then get on your dragon!" Candy told her.

"I... okay," Pacifica shrugged as she turned and jumped onto the neck of the large dragon. It barely flinched as she climbed up and rode it once again.

Pacifica atop the dragon proved to be a better bet than Mabel could have guessed. No sooner had the blond teen leapt onto the bounding creature than a hail of darts landed where she had just been.

"Yikes!" Mabel said, sliding to the side as she barely dodged an incoming dart.

"These are huge!" Grenda shouted as they finally vanished into the foliage of the woods again.

Grenda, while the queen of exaggeration, was not wrong. The darts being shot at them at high velocities were made for larger animals- as they were nearly five inches long. Tranquilizer harpoons were more of a correct statement as Mabel peered into the sky. The helicopter flew above them, darting left and right. It was tracking them through the woods.

"How are we going to lose them now?" Pacifica asked.

"You tell us!" Grenda called back.

"I don't know!" Pacifica yelled, "this is your sort of deal after all!"

"Well, start thinking like it is!" Candy yelled.

"I-"

BOOM.

The girls and the dragon roared and shrieked. A stick of dynamite had been tossed before them, shredding the canopy above. More explosions of similar size began to happen around then. Leaves, branches, and even entire trees began to fall, flames reaching the ground.

"They're going to kill us!" Pacifica screamed.

Mabel gritted her teeth. Turning around briefly, she spotted the coming four agents. They still had those guns on them, but they weren't firing them yet. So they weren't in range.

_Think, Mabel girl, think!_ she said to herself as she spun and ran with the group, her amazing constitution and endurance able to propel her to catch up. As her speed matched those running, she thought. _Make Dipper proud of your detective work!_

If the helicopter was dropping bombs around them and missing, it meant one of two things: they were lousy shots or couldn't see them perfectly. But since, she was certain that they wanted the dragon alive, they wouldn't toss bombs in to kill them and the dragon. They needed to clear out the canopy of the woods. Which meant, as she looked back, the only thing giving the enemy vision, were the four agents following them.

She glanced back and stared for a single moment. To her glee, one of them did have a walkie-talkie on them.

"Yes," she muttered, and she turned and ran again. "I got it!" she shouted as she caught up with friends and newly acquainted dragon partner in crime. "We need to shake off the agents from the dragon!"

"How?" Candy shouted.

"I'm not sure, but if they wanted the dragon, they'll follow it, and not us," Mabel told Grenda and Candy. Mabel looked to her friends, her long trusted partners in violence, boy-chasing, and romance magazine sharing. The three of them had grown so much since their first adventures together. Still running for their life, they had more options.

"Mabel, what are you thinking?" Candy asked, her keen mind, catching a look in Mabel's eye.

"Guerilla warfare," she stated. Candy sighed and nodded.

"Come again?" Grenda asked.

"Hit and run, girl," Candy told her friend.

"Ah, gotcha. Us three?" Grenda asked Mabel.

"Wait, what about me?" Pacifica said as the three girls below her planned.

"Look, Pacifica, they want the dragon," Mabel started, "and I can only imagine that if they caught you, we'd be in more trouble than just losing Magenta. So you take it and go, and we'll meet up with you!" Mabel explained.

"But- but then you guys are staying behind!" she pointed out.

"We've gotten out of worse before. Heck, this one time I died, and had to escape the underworld," Mabel shrugged. The three girls stared at her for a moment, and then continued to running; a new appreciation for Mabel. "It sounds a lot cooler than it really was."

"But still-"

"Look!" Grenda shouted up to her, "do you want a chance to run away or not!?"

"Of course I want us to get away, but-"

"Then take it!" Grenda interrupted Pacifica. The Dragon hummed, it's deep voice vibrating into the ground. The blond, rich girl looked down to the dragon and grunted.

"Don't get hurt!" she shouted.

"Mystery twin, detachment squad, REVERSE!"

Mabel and the two slid to a stop, turned and charged. The well-dressed agents had only just climbed over a large log when the tree girls made their attack. Mabel ran the fastest, and leapt high into the air. Grenda and Candy remained on foot, but Grenda, roaring like a wounded animal, dived into the first man she could. Candy ducked behind a tree, removed her pepper-spray can, and ran forward.

As the helicopter blazed overhead, the kick of the first female mystery twin smashed clean across the face of the Agent. The kind of kick she reserved only for her master sent the man spinning. She landed, and watched him stay up-right. He recovered, and removed his glasses. Mabel gulped. This man had scars up and down his face along his eyes. The kind of person who enjoyed fighting, as opposed to the common Gravity Falls resident.

Grenda was busy exchanging blows with her target- a tall, wide-shouldered man with no withholding his hits. Her struck her as hard as he could, delivering large circles of blue and black on her face.

Mabel wouldn't allow herself to take such damage. The man she had kicked made a motion to shoot at her, and she ducked and dived. A man behind her had just made to grab at her arms, but the dart shot at Mabel struck his shoe. Hitting somewhere around his big toe, the man howled in pain.

Screaming in pain, the man hopped on one foot for a brief moment, and then slumped to the ground like a limp noodle. Mabel made her advantage an opportunity: the unloaded gun was grabbed and tossed aside. While the taller man made to punch at Mabel, she ducked back and cart wheeled, kicking him in his chin. Pain flared in Mabel's toe, but she wasn't ready to resign to a little 'ouch' like that.

She landed and stood looking at the injured man, who spat next to him, leaving a crimson spot on the ground. Mabel grinned. She already knew what she was going to be doing. He was angry at her, and that would play to her strengths- being very hard to hit.

"Get ready to be burned, sucka!" she told him, and dived in for the fight again. He kicked out at her, in what could have been a rib-breaking strike into her chest. She ducked down, bending at the knees. Then, one foot pushing off the ground, she leapt up, and with her free foot, she kicked into the pocket of his knee. The man screamed and fell aside.

Three strikes, he's out.

Mabel turned to Grenda, still dealing with the man, but now gaining footing- she had him in her bear grip- something to be feared. Turning to her other side, Candy was striking the man with a large stick over and over. His hands covered and rubbed his eyes, and he wailed and cried. She had clearly gotten him with her home-brewed mace.

Rushing over to Candy, Mabel took one prepared moment for Candy to step aside. After the moment and Candy moved, Mabel screamed as loud as she could and karate-chopped the man by the base of his neck. The guard went rigid and fell aside.

"GRANITE GRENDA FINISH!"

The two turned away from the fallen guard and to Grenda. A black eye, a puffed up half lower lip, and at least three large black and blue bruises to cover her face, the girl had lifted up the man, and fallen backwards. His back hit the ground first, and with his weight plus hers, the resounding cracks and outcries of the man told the two ladies that he wouldn't be getting up soon. Rolling over from her victory, Grenda stood up, dusting her shoulders off.

"No biggie," she said to her friends, and then winced. "My face feels big though."

"Yeah, you took a few punches there," Mabel pointed out, timidly pointing to the three huge bruises across her face."

"Heh, that happens," Grenda shrugged.

"Grenda is used to many injuries. Captain of the wrestling team means that she... can-" Candy whimpered as she suddenly stumbled.

"Candy?" Mabel gasped, and looked to her left quickly. A dart barely flew past her. Grenda shouted and dived to the ground. The small framed girl fell right into Mabel's outstretched arms. Candy began to drool, her eyes out of focus.

"Oh no!" Mabel gasped, and looked to Grenda.

"Having some p-problems?" a voice called from the distance.

Mabel sealed her eyes shut tightly and shook her head. Of course- she had forgotten Warlock. She reached down to her unconscious friend and removed the dart imbedded into her back.

"I can carry her!" Grenda told Mabel.

"Okay," Mabel nodded. She hastily handed off the now limp Candy to Grenda. Grenda stood, hunched over and carrying her dazed friend. "Ready? He'll try to nail us as soon as we get up."

"No way he can," Grenda told Mabel with a grin.

"Then," Mabel sighed, "let's GO!"

They ran. Mabel only had the smallest chance to glance behind her as she and Grenda pelted out from under the cover of the log. Some thirty feet behind them, he had only just made it to the log now, carrying with him a variant of the same pistol used by the four incapacitated men.

To Mabel's horror, the moment he arrived to the logs, he waved his hands above the four men, and they all jolted. One by one, they stood on their feet, and then started running after the girls again.

"He can heal them!?" Mabel whined to Grenda.

"Totally not fair!" Grenda shouted back.

Still they ran. What else could they do now? The helicopter wove around their heads, tracking them as they fled from the now five men behind them. The occasional dart would soar right into a tree next to them. Mortality hung in the balance as the two ladies ran. A single hit from the long darts meant game over now. No one would be left behind, but they had no one to carry them all.

Well, Mabel wondered if Grenda could carry her as well, but it wasn't something she considered testing out.

A rock ahead presented the option- left or right.

"The right?" Mabel suggested.

"Right!" Grenda nodded.

The two turned and ran, sliding down the hill as fast as they could without losing footing. Then, as they found themselves at the base of the hill, did they realize their mistake.

"Wrong," Mabel grumbled.

They were now in a grotto. One surrounded by a steep ledge of rock. Getting out, as they looked around, came from one direction- the one they just came from. Where, to their dismay, five men stood, looking down on them.

"Copy that," one of the men said into a walkie-talkie, "we've got them. Keep on looking for the dragon."

"Roger that," the voice of the pilot replied.

"So, how ab-b-bout we make this easy. Come quietly, and my b-boys won't have to lift you off th-the ground," Graupner said, playing with the barrel end of the gun.

"So you can do what? Hold us hostage?" Mabel said. The Warlock grinned and shrugged. "Nice try. You can drag us for all we care."

"Maybe we will," the warlock glared down at them, his eyes shining with anger. "I'll make sure t-to yank you through-"

"Contact!" the pilot on the walkie talkie called.

Graupner snarled and yanked the device from the soldier. Holding it to his face, he spoke back. "Wh-where is it now?"

"Airborne!" the pilot cried. "Whoa! It's on us!"

"Wait, what d-do you mean it's on you?" Graupner growled. "Shoot it d-down, and then we'll fly it back to b-base later!"

"It's staying on our six! Can't get a good bead on it- OH GOD!" the pilot roared. High above, the helicopter zoomed past, swaying trees in it's wake of wind. Then the sky grew orange and the heat of dragon fire permeated the woods. The woods grew darker in the shadow of a hundred foot column of fire in the sky that nearly entirely engulfed the hunter helicopter.

"Skywatch, t-turn around and t-take care of-" Grauper shouted into the walkie-talkie.

"Kinley, it's turning around! Heading straight for-"

The battle cry of a huge dragon blasting through the trees and foliage cut out the warning of the pilot. The Warlock and his men had just enough time to dive aside, dodging the swooping attack of the dragon. Atop it, Pacifica steered, pulling the horns aside to avoid the large boulder.

"Welcome to the battlefield, air support!" Mabel called as Pacifica and the dragon made their return after the swooped past the three.

"Like I'm going to let you get all the hero-worship in this one," Pacifica smirked back. She turned her attention to the Warlock, who was back on his feet, spinning his hands around one another, creating a ball of black flame. "He's ours," Pacifica told Mabel.

Mabel turned to Grenda. "We got to keep moving," she said as the dragon, flapping it's wings again, dived forward at the warlock. "C'mon, we can get Candy out of here!"

"Yeah!" Grenad agreed as the two started to run again. "You know, maybe I was wrong about Pacifi-"

BOOM.

Mabel and Grenda were thrown clear off their feet.

Trees splintered and were cooked instantly in the heat and light.

Her ears ringing and stinging like wasps buzzed around them, Mabel felt the ground beneath her. The world felt upside down. She couldn't make out what she was doing until she blinked out the dirt from her eyes. She and Grenda had been throw some thirty feet back into the grotto.

Stumbling back up, Mabel saw the ruins of the woods around her. Blackened trees, all stripped of their leafs and many more branches, reminded her of what had happened. Which, as she climbed up, brushing off the rubble from her sweater, she saw what remained.

The warlock faced away from her, staring at the collapsed dragon.

"Huh. Dragon fire and blackflame d-do not react well. So th-that _was_ what caused the explosion," the warlock muttered to himself. Mabel looked around. The dragon's right wing, held up and caught in the remains of a tree, looked horribly burnt. Holes through the membrane of skin made it nearly useless for flight. The other wing held a struggling Northwest. Pacifica had struck her head on something- a large bruise forming on her forehead. She was still awake, but seemed incapable of focusing. Fire plumed all around them. The woods had flames crackling and dancing on several remaining trees.

"So now I g-get four girls to ransom, and a d-dragon to work with," Graupner Kinley snickered, "oh, this is perfect."

"Leave them alone," Mabel managed to warn him. He whipped around, his slightly singed cloak fluttering in the turn.

"You're still up!?" he demanded. "That nearly knocked out everyone-"

"Except me and you, buster," Mabel told him, and she raised her fists. "Your move, creep."

His lip twitched, but he grinned. "Fine b-by me," he told her, and raised his hand behind him, pointing to Pacifica and the dragon. Black flame began to grow into his palm.

"What are you doing?" Mabel demanded.

"Giving you the ch-choice you have to t-take," he told her, and winked. "Five, four," he started counting down. Mabel took no chances. She ran for him. "Three, two," he told her and held the fire behind him still. Mabel then realized what he really planned on doing, and she dived over him and slid to a stop between him and the dragon. Now in front of her, the black fire swirling in his palm, he smiled.

"One," he reminded her as easily as anyone could.

Mabel clenched her whole body. The fire from his palm raced towards her. The fire that melted dragonscale. The fire that reacted with dragonfire to cause explosive power. What... what else was there she could do. In the face of letting friends be hurt or killed, she had no alternative.

She wouldn't let the fear of pain and death stop her though. Until it came for her, in person, she would do the only thing she knew to do in the sight of the end.

Fight.

"RIGHT HOOK!" she screamed.

Mabel roared and punched back at the black flame, putting her entire being, heart, mind, soul- her whole entire existence into the single punch.

The fire vanished.

The warlock's mouth dropped open. Mabel blinked.

"Wh-wh-wh-what!?" he gasped, stuttering worse than ever. "How-how-how-how-how-"

Mabel felt her hand, and then heard sizzling to her left. She gave her strongest right hook she had ever tried to do in her life. Had there been a reasonable person there, she was afraid she would have broken her knuckles, and their jaw. Looking to the side, Mabel was stunned. The black flame had been knocked into a lone stump some fifteen feet away. There, it ate at the semi-burnt wood until there was only pitch-black ashes.

She... punched a _fireball_ away?

"Imp-p-p-possible!" the warlock shouted at her. "What sp-pell d-did you use!?"

"It's, uh, called, um... BEING AWESOME!" Mabel roared back at the Warlock. He stumbled and tripped over his cloak.

"That's... wait," he gasped, and stared up at her, "the paths!"

Before Mabel even considered throwing another warning at him, he turned and ran. In the distance, his men greeted him. They also rushed away, closing towards the unfettered woods. The helicopter buzzed over her head, leaving them finally alone.

"Mabel, what did you just do?" Pacifica asked from behind her. Mabel gasped and spun around.

"Hey, stay still. You kinda conked the side of you head there, girly-doe," Mabel chuckled. Pacifica shook her head, now grabbing Mabel's wrist.

"You... the fire bent around your arm and... and-"

"Hey, doesn't matter right now. We need to get everyone back to safety before jerk-face-McLoser comes running back," she told her. The dragon's wing came crashing down, pulled away from the now charred bits of branch.

"It's not going to die, is it?" Pacifica asked, standing up, and walking to the whimpering dragon.

"I don't think so?" Mabel answered. "It looks like it's wing go most of the fire." She scanned the said wing, and grimaced. "But I don't know if it will fly again."

"Why?" Pacifica turned around, squinting at Mabel, "because that man decided to burn away all that skin? Huh?" she asked heatedly. Mabel shrugged. "Well... I don't think so. This dragon will one day fly again, or my name isn't Pacifica Northwest!"

* * *

"And so, after trying to sew on new wings, that's how we discovered that dragons are mildly allergic to latex!" Mabel finished her story with vabrado.

Dipper, Grunkle Stan, Arline, and Soos all stared at Mabel, their eyes and faces stuck in a permanent stun. The only one not looking like they had just heard the most ludicrous story about dragons and chases in the wild was Yuki, who nodded.

"That sounds about right," he shrugged.

It was now six in the evening. The first ever publicly held Northwest gathering had finally gone underway. Fireworks would soon be underway, and the terrace and porch of the backyard was filled with people.

Nearly five hours ago, the four girls had returned, broken, bruised, tired, drugged, and all exhausted. While the two parents threatened to sue the three ladies for their supposed mistreatment of their daughter, Pacifica swore off the parents. When they did not listen, Magenta the dragon took in, nearly biting Pacifica's father's head off. With a healthy dose of the fear of death put into him, he let the four girls clean up.

After that, with the help of Arline and Zander, whom the dragon continued to eye suspiciously, the party was quickly set up.

Dipper groaned and put a hand to his forehead. "You mean I missed one of the most crucially identifiable species today? A dragon? I need to put so much in the book," Dipper said.

"Yeah, well, they're going to keep Magenta as a pet. Pacifica said that since she's a rarity, the parents are going to fix up the wing in no-time, so they can parade around saying the own a one-of-a-kind animal. Gah," Mabel explained up until her hands gave an awful twinge. Her two hands held before her, she spied the thick wrappings around her fingers and palms.

"Keep them on for a day or so," Arline reminded her. "After that, you can take them off and get back to punching things," Arline chuckled.

Mabel whined. "But that's one whole day of things to punch I'm never getting baaaack..."

Stan chuckled. "I'm going to go steal as much free food as I can fit in my jacket. Left-overs for the next week, you three!" Stan told Dipper and Mabel.

"Blech," the twins groaned.

"At least it'll be seasoned," Dipper suggested. Mabel nodded.

"You should go ask Pacifica to introduce you to Magenta. She'll probably be okay with you," Mabel told Dipper. His eyes glistened, and he removed the journal from his jacket.

"Great idea!" he nodded, and ran off. Unfortunately for him, Mabel had been about to tell him he was running in the wrong direction. Pacifica was behind him and Mabel, speaking to Candy and Grenda.

"-but as far as people handling are concerned, the best thing to do, in your position," Pacifica told Grenda, "is to remind them of your positional power, rather than your physical."

"Why not both?" Grenda asked.

"If you want people to really respect you, it needs to come from your authority first, your strength second," Pacifica explained to her.

"So does this mean you're going to stop harassing our clubs for now on?" Candy asked Pacifica after a long yawn.

"I- what? I never... oh," Pacifica looked between her two speakers as Mabel walked over. A mild shade of pink washed over her face. "Sorry. Yes."

Candy and Grenda stared at the blond for a moment.

In unison, they exclaimed with laughter and squeezed Pacifica with a large hug.

"Thanks Pacifica!" Candy said.

"Yeah! Now we're going to get some FOOD!" Grenda roared, and began to holler.

"Aww, you three are friends now?" Mabel asked, hopping next to Pacifica. The blond sighed and nodded, citing even more squeals from Mabel. "YESSS! All my friends are cool with one another!"

"Well... they both fought for my life," Pacifica shrugged, playing with her hair, "so, you know... that kind of means a lot to me."

"Could have fooled me," Mabel winked with a cat-like grin.

"Hey, that was-"

"A joke, doofus," Mabel winked at Pacifica. She in turn pushed away Mabel by her face and walked over to Yuki.

"Talk to me later. I'll be spending some time with a handsome man," she winked to Mabel, who ran in place at the couple. As she did, a hand fell to her shoulder, gripping tightly.

"What you did out there was dangerous," Arline told her, her voice no longer pleasant or kind. Mabel blinked and stared up at her usually happy master. "You could have been killed by doing what you did."

"But... what else was I going to do?" Mabel asked. Arline sighed.

"Mabel..."

"You know I couldn't let Pacifica and Magenta get hurt anymore," Mabel defended.

"No, I get that," Arline shook her head. "I... just be more careful for now on. If the Warlock is using Blackflame, that means he's been using a very, very old source for magic spells," Arline continued to explain in a whisper.

"What is blackflame?" Mabel asked.

"It's also called nightkiller and demontouch. A spell that acts like fire, but burns anything. Scars never heal fully," Arline said sadly, "the dragon will probably be burned like that for the rest of it's life."

Mabel gulped and looked to Pacifica. She was chatting with Yuki now, resting her head against his shoulder as she stared up at him. Mabel had to tell her at some point, but it wouldn't be now. She had a nice night to go through.

"But Mabel," Arline continued, "you weren't lying at all earlier, were you?"

"Huh? Why?" Mabel asked.

"Not that I don't believe you," Arline assured her, hands on the girls shoulders as she turned and faced her directly, "It's just... because... if you did do everything you said you did, you manipulated fire today."

Mabel's mouth dropped open. "Ohhhh, that makes more sense."

"What?!" Arline gasped and broken into a laugh, "Mabel! That's huge! You being able to do something like that only when you're fifteen is astounding!" Arline told her. "You... do you have any idea how long it took me to do that?"

"I dunno, like a year?" Mabel guessed. Arline's jaw dropped down. "See, only a year. Called it!" Mabel laughed. As her teacher and master stared at her pupil, she could only end up smiling.

"Go hang out with your brother, "she told Mabel. With a grin and chuckle, Mabel bounded away, off to seek her probably lost brother.

The fireworks would be starting soon, and Arline pocketed her hands to her sides. The air around her was cooling, and a gentle breeze tossed around her hair lightly. If only Mabel knew how quick she was coming along, if she thought element control was something easy... Arline grinned and looked to the deep blue sky.

Her neck twitched.

It was involuntary. She knew this feeling well- her master had a long time ago instilled the fear and awareness of being studied at distance. She turned and looked around. No one seemed to be looking at her on the porch.

Then she looked up.

Zander Maximillion stared down at her, fixed on her being. The moment she spotted him, he looked up and away, and turned towards the manor.

An ally had been listening in rather intently to a private conversation. An ally who, as she knew, was not afraid to get close to people. He wanted to hear in on their chat but not reveal himself? Arline wasn't sure why, but something began to bug her.

Mabel claimed the Warlock wanted to capture the dragon when he found out about it. He had then found bodyguards, a tracking collar, and a whole helicopter to use. That cost money.

And she was looking at the retreating back of someone they all knew who had more than enough cash on them to go around.

* * *

But, really, it's probably just coincidence.

I mean, it's not like certain things line up for sheer... coincidences...

SO- Season 2, Episode 13 done! Draconic Tendencies!

A lot has happened since the last update, let me tell you. So, first of all, a show of hands, WHO'SE EXCITED AS I AM FOR NEXT _ACTUAL_ EPISODE!? AAHHHHHHHH

And while I'm on the topic, I've gotten a torrential downpour of people reminding me of the updates to come. For those of you that don't know, the newest information out about the Stan twins is this- Grunkle Stan is actually Stanley, and The Author is actually Stanford.

So, yeah. I screwed up big.

Not to worry though- just a few switcheroos in EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER WHERE THE NAME STANFORD IS MENTIONED...

I swear, Alex Hirsch, this is revenge for using your namesake, isn't it!? Jerk.

Well, HAH! I beat you to your Dungeons and Dragons episode! By almost half a freakin' YEAR! (but he'll probably do it better... dangit.)

So, starting next week, I'll be slowly changing all the Stanfords to Stanley and Stanleys to Stanford. It's going to take a while, but... oh well.

And finally, before I send myself to doom and give you some cryptograms, I want to remind you all of my 'canon' policy. I'm trying my hardest here, you guys, but in the end, the main series and this WILL deviate. It'll be a sad day for us, but hey. At least we could have had some fun pretending they're almost the same thing. But I can't predict everything. My plot won't allow for it. :p

And so... my doom.

(EZB is handed a sign with the word 'doom' written on it.)

Oh. Less dramatic than I thought.

(EZB explodes into smoldering remains with a loud pop.)

* * *

**D jluo zlwk d Ylnlqj khulwdjh ulglqj d gudjrq? Qhyhu khdug ri wkdw ehiruh.**

**-AND-**

**Nzyvo ovzimvw uriv-kfmxs! Rg'h hfkvi vuuvxgrev!**


	49. I Dream of Deals: Part 1

Gossip in Gravity Falls traveled at record speeds when the topic was astounding. With a tiny populace full of nose-butting chatterers, whenever there was something juicy, it got around. The instant people found out where Zander Maximillion was staying, the town knew it by heart in less than a day. By the time the police arrived to the crashed burning bird in the Corduroy Mill, everyone already knew some type of angel had fallen. By the hour Pacifica had returned to her home with a living, fire-breathing dragon, the whole town wanted to see it for themselves as a severely mutated komodo-dragon. While certainly not entirely accurate, the gossip spread fast enough for anyone to rush to the gates of the Northwest Manor and crane their heads through the bars in attempts to see the young teen riding her newly acquainted dragon.

All except a single family who had first-hand witnessed it.

The Pines and their associates had taken a rather lucky pair of weeks since the fourth of July to rejuvenate. Stanley Pines continued his business at scamming and touring, Soos and Yuki continued to improve and re-build the constantly decaying structure, and Wendy Corduroy aided Yuki now in his watch-shifts, as she never slept, which turned out to be a blessing- as Yuki finally caught his first ever sickness.

All while the Twins practiced at their hardest.

Mabel's improvements since her telling of bending fire to her will had taken a sudden stop. The girl, in all her impressive capabilities and feats, suddenly had hit a road block. With Arline painstakingly trying to have her repeat the movement and perform as she did, Mabel was unable to fully replicate her own actions. While not discouraged, it wore her out tremendously.

Dipper on the other hand looked like Wendy felt. He, unlike the others of the Shack, had not stopped and taken a step back since the fourth of July. How could he? He had two very important missions and mysteries that he had to balance next to continuing his training with Mabel and her master.

Stumbling into the interior of the Mystery Manor, Dipper waved a hand to Soos and Yuki at the counter, silently passed his Grunkle Stan, and marched into the living room. Next to the couch had become his newest lair of study. With sweat and dirt from outside lingering on him and smelly as a teenage boy could be, Dipper sat down by the couch.

Grinding his teeth with his eyes closed, he pushed away the small pile of scribbled papers. Dozens of pages of notes he had taken all amounted to nothing. The topic of these papers?

"Wraith, wraith, wraaaiths," Dipper grumbled as he pulled open his journal, so far one of the most trustworthy of sources on all things mysterious.

The past two weeks, Dipper had stayed up tremendously late while studying on the myths and legends of the wraith. Sadly, there was no common text book on the undead, and wraith, as it seemed, were a rare type. So, without a textual reference on how the work and are created, Dipper had to piece together his own manual of Wraiths.

The stories and legends of the horrible creature were so far mostly exaggerated. The tales spoke of beings who lived in mountain caves and forest dwellings, and in the night they could be seen as ghostly humans, roaming the wilds as lost, pained creatures who would rabidly attack on sight. They lost their sense of person along with their colors: skin changing pale and their eyes becoming light blue or steel in color. Wendy thus far had pale skin, but that was always the case. Her green eyes remained the same.

And that was the most frustrating part to all his work and effort. Dipper had no answers not for himself, but for Wendy. The Wendy that trusted his work and opinions. The Wendy that had decided to come back and stay with them. The Wendy he _still_ crushed horrible on.

Maybe curing her would be the bridge between friend and 'more' he needed. Either way, curing Wendy had little to no progress.

Then there was the second task in Dipper's mind- dealing with the enemy.

Graupner Kinley, self-proclaimed Warlock, had become the Twins newest baddie. Unlike previous enemies, he made no attempts to hide his intentions towards the two of them. There was seemingly no other agenda he had. There was no hiding in the town's populace and popularity, nor using official power of government backing to bully them around.

Their enemy and his supposed allies, and unknown partner in crime, had too many times stuck out and taken a swing at the pines. Dipper wanted to know why. What would drive someone to attack not just the twins, but the town, so many times?

Dipper's hands instinctively scratched at where the scar of the cut had once been. Now merely a long thin line across this forearm, Dipper remembered the spell that his blood had been needed for: a kind of detection spell. If he had remembered correctly, it had ended up failing- The Warlock had said something interfered with what he was looking for.

But that was another topic for another debate with Mabel. He was before the six books, pouring over them and pulling out whatever he could to help cure his friend.

Or at least that was the plan. Sadly though, he found his eyes slowly closing.

"Gah," Dipper grumbled and slapped his face gently. "Wake up," he told himself. His eyes remained heavy. "Wake up!" he shouted, and fully slapped himself. "Ow," he whined, rubbing his stinging and now perfectly awake face.

"Dipper?"

He turned and found Mabel walking over. "Hey," he mumbled to her before turning back.

"Eugh, you could take a shower before you sit down for another six hours to read more books," she told him. Dipper grumbled, his shoulders locked up. "C'mon dude. You need a break."

"I do!" he cried out. Looking back to Mabel, he sighed, "Sorry. I didn't mean that at you like that."

"Still no luck?" she asked as she flopped down onto the couch, leaning over the arm to peer at him.

"None," he shook his head, "I've tried reverse-engineering a cause for Wraiths based on story and eye-witness accounts, but too many sources seem contradictory."

"And Wendy still has no idea where the book is?" she asked. "The book used to magic her?"

"No. I looked at the library yesterday... I think someone else has it now," Dipper grumbled.

Mabel grumbled. "Stupid face, huh?" She asked Dipper as she laid her hands under her head, staring down at his note-taking as he began to record a new story.

"Probably. It wouldn't strike me odd for him to grab something like that," he guessed. Glancing behind him, he saw the sister accomplice of his life bruised and worn. "No shower? You could use it yourself."

"Pacifica is using it," Mabel casually said.

"Oh, right," Dipper nodded. He turned away, only to whip back and stare. "Wait, what!?"

"Yeah," Mabel grinned, "she's visiting! She got here just after you and went to practice with my master. Since Yuki is all sniffly, she decided she'd come by and cheer him up."

"Oh. Really?" he asked Mabel, who glared at him. "I mean, it's just a common cold," Dipper shrugged.

"To us. That's his first ever earth-sickness _ever_!" she told him, "he's worried that his newly adapted body is going to have a hard time not getting all gross and green on us."

The heralding of loud, rapid footsteps made the twins turn. Pacifica landed the step and turned to face the twins. They both gasped and groaned. She was covered in a thick, sticky green and brown substance that looked eerily like snot.

"Normal people keep dry-cleaners in their homes, right?" Pacifica asked hopefully.

"Closest one is in town," Dipper told her.

"Thought so," Pacifica admitted as she dared to inspect the closest splatter on her arm. At it's sight, she cringed and gagged. "I didn't think he had that much space in his body for this," she mentioned.

"His lungs do act ten times stronger than ours do," Dipper reminded her, "that kind of sneezing power would easily clear anything up."

"Don't remind me," Pacifica asked, uncertain to what to do with her arms. "Do I wash this now? How do poor people wash clothes?"

"Taking them off and washing them with soap and water!" Mabel entertained. Pacifica stared at her, and then her clothes. "Not now, silly! You need to disrobe-ify yourself in a bathroom!"

As if on cue, Yuki clambered down the stairs. His eyes were sunken and darkly, hair messier than usual, and his chocolate skin shined with sweat. Dipper slightly regretted mocking him for his inability to cope with the disease- he looked terrible.

"Good day, Mabel, Dibber," he said, his nasals taking up a majority of his voice.

"Not for you," Mabel replied. Yuki grimaced and nodded, and turned to Pacifica.

"I think you may take residence in the badroom. I seek wader," he told her.

"Thanks Yuki," Pacifica grinned and passed him, but not before giving his hair a gentle tussle. Yuki grinned and watched her ascend, his face falling.

"I dink I've upsed her wib my cold," he told the twins quietly.

"Sneezing on her would do that," Dipper mentioned.

"Nah, she's not mad at you! She's great at lying, but only if she's ready to hide her feelings," Mabel explained, "otherwise she's easy to read as a book! Ohh, or a sticker!"

"I do hobe so," Yuki admitted. "I don'd wish to upsed her."

"Speaking of upset," Dipper turned, "how is Grunkle Stan dealing with you as a sick person?"

"Less faborably. I indended to resbond to the job application that Wendy found for me, bud as I am currently incapacidaded, so I will remain in the building."

"Dang straight you are," the rough voice of Grunkle Stan called from behind Yuki. Instantly Yuki sighed and turned halfway, looking to the elderly appearing human. Grunkle Stan held his hands at his hips, scowling at Yuki. "I'm missing my second most trusted employee now due to some dumb cold! You're not going out and doubling the time until you get better, and that's that."

"Bud my incoming can double if-"

"Get better, and I'll let you check these things out, or whatever," Stan said, checking the looks from the twins. They stared at him with expectation- their focus on his words and actions. He sighed, and then lifted his hand- revealing a large tin-can. "And eat this. It'll help."

"Whad is id?" Yuki inquired.

"Chicken noodle soup, and not expired either," Stan told him. "Put in a bowl and heat for like a minute. Maybe two, I don't know. When it's warm, eat it. It'll help."

"Oh, I will do so immediadely," Yuki grinned a sad, watery grin and marched passed Stan.

"Wow, look at you hot-shot," Mabel said to Stan, who turned back to them, "buying non-expired food? Did you have to buy that at the corner store?"

"Or did you steal it, like most good food around here," Dipper added.

"Hey! If I steal, it's from shmucks who already have enough to throw away anyway! Not like I'm reaching into the wallets of the poor here," he scolded them. A commotion across the building built, and Stan sighed. "I'll be in the shop. Probably on tour. Dipper, take a shower or something, would you?"

"I don't stink!" Dipper called after his great uncle.

"You smell like dying possum," Stan called back.

"Haahahahaa," Mabel grinned at Dipper, who had scowled at the comment. "Possum. My brother is relate-able to dead things. Hehehe. And I don't mean anything about Wendy!"

"Shut up!" Dipper hissed at her as she fell back onto the couch, laughing.

"Not to mention having a crush on a dead person!" Mabel grinned.

"Would you-" Dipper stood.

"KIDS!" Grunkle Stan cried out, "Get out here!"

Bereft of his anger towards his sibling, Dipper grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the living room. A few moments later, they joined Grunkle Stan in the gift shop. There was no party of visitors, but instead Wendy, Soos, and Arline with Stan. The twins halted just as Yuki stumbled in, poking his head through the door.

"What's up yall?" Mabel asked.

"Tell 'em," Stan told Arline.

Her looking right to the twins, she said, "there's a traveling salesman in town who says he has the ultimate cure-all."

Dipper's heart felt like it stopped, or at least near leapt out of his chest. "Say that again?" he asked.

"Ultimate cure-all," Arline repeated, "he had a crazy name for it, but I wanted to let everyone know first. I was just passing through town to stop by the post office, and there this guy- small hairy man- was setting up shop. People were starting to gather too!"

"Sounds pretty coincidental," Dipper pointed out.

"Exactly," Arline said to him.

"Wait, what?" Stan looked between them, "isn't this about the awesome medicine or whatever he has, and not some conspiracy?"

"Yeah, what gives Dipping dot?" Mabel asked Dipper. Wendy chuckled and Arline grinned as Dipper scowled at her.

"It just seems off. I don't remember there ever being lots of traveling salesmen in Gravity Falls before, and this would bring a lot of people out into a crowd if everyone falls for the gimmick."

"And what if it's not a gimmick?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah dude, she could be right," Soos shrugged, "maybe he's some crazy scientist man who likes curing people of their diseases because it gives him a feel like he controls his destiny, but ultimately will do whatever it takes to remain in control over others as the drug has mind-controlling properties." The others stared at Soos. "Nah, that just sounds like the beginning of 'Galaxy Trek Three'."

"Either way," Arline continued, "this is something we should check out, you know?"

"I'm down," Dipper shrugged. Wendy glanced to him and he shook his head. "I'm not getting much else done here."

"Well, I'm base guardsmen," Wendy proclaimed, and marched back to her constant seat by the cashier, "go get 'em guys."

"Yessir!" Mabel saluted. Grunkle Stan eyed his niece, shaking his head.

"Why can't I get that kind of responses?" he asked.

"Because you're smellier and less pretty than Wendy," Mabel cheerfully told him. Pushing past from Mabel, Pacifica marched towards the door, her hair and clothing wet while holding a drenched towel. "Pacifica?"

"Well? If this guy really does have a cure-all, I'm grabbing it first. If not, you dorks take care of 'em," she explained. "Yuki, just eat your soup. I'll be back."

"I can manage that," Yuki nodded.

With a caravan of two cars divided amongst six people, the trek into the center of Gravity falls was a quick, tense one. The entire time driving, those inside kept their eyes out in the woods, looking for signs of activity that would lead them to think of an incoming attack. To their relief and surprise, nothing came of their venture. It almost scared Dipper as he eventually parked in town: where was Graupner then if he wasn't looking to get at him and Mabel?

It wouldn't be something he would find the answer to immediately. A commotion sounded nearby, and the cluster of six walked together.

"So, if this guy is with Warlock?" Soos asked worriedly.

"We take him down regardless who's watching," Stan said candidly.

"Just like that?" Pacifica asked, playing with the collars of her stained shirt.

"Just like that," Stan and Arline repeated. The two gave each other a grim smile, and followed the twins, who lead the charge.

"Whoa," Dipper said as he and Mabel turned the corner.

"Wowzers!" Mabel cried out as he face widened with awe.

Next to a large and well decorated trailer on an expensive looking truck, a stage had been set up. Surrounding the stage was easily a hundred people, staring up at the animated and cheerful looking man on the stage. Roughly the same height as the twins but with a large thick brown beard and curly hair, the man spoke with a deep but warm fluid voice- fluctuating with levels of excitement that only Mabel could comprehend.

"Does it cure a flu? Oh-ho-ho, YOU BET IT DOES!" the man roared triumphantly in the air. "But I also know what you're thinking-" he adopted a feminine voice, with a tiny smidgeon of whining, "oh, but will it keep my boy up and back in school! HA!" he called, back to the original voice, "your kids will be so healthy that they'll have no choice but to accept their fate as school-going, responsible children! That's the miracle of Panacea-cillin!"

"Uch," one kid nearby groaned. The rest of the crowd cheered.

"So, what are you waiting for!? Sign up for an appointment now!" he pointed to the edge of his stage, where a multitude of boards with lined papers awaited, "and Panacea-cillin can be yours today!"

"Sign 'em! Sign 'em!" Tyler cheered from inside the crowd as they all rushed forward.

"Panacea?" Dipper repeated aloud. "Literally a cure-all?"

"Not very creative with the name, is he?" Arline added as they watched him negotiate the crowds who rushed forward, pointing them to the clip boards they could sign up for.

"He said it cures everything?" Pacifica stepped forward, moving towards the crowds. "Then I'm signing up."

"Wait," Dipper reached for her, but she stepped under his reach.

"If you want to wait behind while I get us a face-to-face with this guy, be my guest," she told them, "but I'm going to see if this is legit or not."

"Heh. I wouldn't mind getting my hands on something like that," Grunkle Stan admitted, "just imagine the fortune I could make if it worked, and I could replicate it!"

"Let's keep our eye on the prize, and not money," Arline told him with a critical look.

"Money is always a prize," Grunkle Stan rolled his eyes.

"Remember folks, sign up, get in line, and then wait for your appointment! Panacea-cillin! Guaranteed to cure all ailments, diseases, illnesses, and otherwise problems your body might have," The salesman said, waving to the crowd as he stepped away towards the trailer, "or my name isn't William Cardinal!"

Dipper frowned as the man stepped off the stage. Small and hairy, he didn't strike him as the type who the Warlock would employ. Still, looks were always deceiving, and this was suspicious. There was no such thing as a cure-all: it wasn't feasible for any one thing to cure all ailments on the body. He wondered if there was some kind of side-effect they would find out about this miracle.

"C'mon dork," Mabel pulled Dipper as they stepped forward. Pacifica, despite her position, which she continued to try using as a means for getting to the clip-boards, remained at the back. Everyone in the crowd was too excited to sign up to hear the commanding words of one small blond teen.

"Oh cool, we can wait in line now," Soos said as the six of them finally found themselves alone by the three clipboards. "Now we can exchange ideas about what we really think the guy is up to!"

"It's a sham," Grunkle Stan and Dipper said together.

"That was quick," Arline said. "You guys really don't think it's possible for someone to have a cure-all?"

"Of course not!" Grunkle Stan laughed.

"It's not impossible," Mabel shrugged.

"While nothing is technically impossible," Dipper rolled his eyes, "I don't know if something as simple as the ultimate cure-all would be discovered by some lone traveling salesman."

"You guys spend your summer up here in Gravity Falls twice, and your still trying to debate what is possible or not?" Pacifica asked them, her eyebrows raised. Dipper zipped his mouth and glared at Pacifica while Mabel grinned.

"Girls get it," Mabel said with a smile.

The line leading to the trailer was a long, impressive one. For nearly an hour the six stayed at the back, watching people take a step closer every ten minutes. They usually were running away from the trailer, excitement in their eyes, but seemed to be carrying nothing. Dipper wondered if this wasn't a shot then- something injected into them in the trailer. Yet, when Taylor left by them, eagerly rubbing his hands together, he had no band-aid on his exposed arms.

Eventually there was a commotion. The gang had spent an hour and a half, and eventually craned their heads. A loud voice scolded someone, and someone stumbled out of the shack.

"Hey, is that Zander?" Mabel asked a she jumped off of someone's shoulders.

"Yeah," Arline said, squinting at the passing Millionaire. Dipper spotted the man approaching, a scowl on his face for the first time since staying at Gravity Falls.

"Guys," he said with a flip of his frown, his smile back to it's normal position, "how goes it?"

"We're all going to get the magical cure alls or debunk it!" Mabel quickly informed Zander. He chuckled and nodded.

"What was going on over there?" Arline asked quickly. He shrugged and sighed.

"A misunderstanding, to my knowledge," he told them, "I guess being rich and famous can have negative effects when you're curious about these sort of things."

"I see," Arline said, staring at him.

"Well," Zander grinned to the others, "I'll be at my place. Not sure what you've all been up to, but let me know if anything crazy is going on."

"Sure, you know we will!" Mabel grinned toothily at the celebrity. "Bye Zander!" Mabel cried as she waved after him.

"Gosh, keep it down, would you?" Pacifica rolled her eyes, "I don't know if that just doesn't effect him any more or if he's oblivious."

"Oooh, or maybe he's smitten by my feminine charm?" Mabel asked to Pacifica, who shook her head. "Of course he is," Mabel told herself.

The last person stepped in as Lazy Suzan stepped out, happily telling herself she could soon see in three dimensions again. Given another ten minutes, the last group left the trailer, and the six of them assumed it was their turn. With a look amongst themselves, they all climbed inside. Pushing past the curtains by the door, the deep warm voice said, "Welcome! Come inside!"

Dipper saw him quickly enough. The room was littered with... well, Dipper took a second look. It all looked like a hodge-podge of junk. Books, pictures, purses, toys, magazines, dolls, an empty gun here or there, a few bottles; many these strange objects were lined and organized around the room with names underneath them.

"Wow! Six! A sextuple, huh?" the man asked them.

"Whoa there dude, nothing crazy in here please- I am a dating man," Soos told him.

The salesman roared with laughter. "Hah! You're great! What's your name, my boy?"

"I'm Soos."

"Well Soos, what kind of ailment, disease, or rare illness can I help you out of?" he asked as he sat in a very old looking carved wooden chair.

"Well, I'm not sick or anything now," Soos started, "but I'm working two jobs now. I could use a bit of insurance, you know?"

"I do!" the salesman nodded and grinned. He leaned in his chair, rubbing his thick beard. "Well, I think we can make this work."

"Awesome!" Soos exclaimed, and lifted out his wallet, "so, how much do I owe you? A hundred? My soul? Body and will?"

The Salesman laughed and shook his head. "Soos, do you have something you really care for? Like a present or something someone gave you?"

"Oh, you bet I do," Soos nodded, "there's this picture I got in the woods once- I've kept it in my room ever since."

William Cardinal shrugged. "Bring it in, and we can talk."

"Hot tamales! I'll be right back!" Soos told his friends, and leapt out past the curtains. The resounding crash outside told them that Soos had forgotten about the stairs, and plummeted to the ground. "I'm okay!" he called back.

"Hm, so, who's next?" William asked.

"Okay, okay, let's cut the bull for a second here," Stan stepped up, putting his hand on the table separating them, better to lean in to the smaller man. "What's the trick, Cardinal?"

"Magic," Cardinal smiled and winked.

"Hah!" Stan pointed at him, "so, you are working with him!" he back up as Arline stepped forward, a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, what's this about? Warlocks?" William asked, nervously looking to Arline and the rest of the crew. "You, uh, are just playing some elaborate game, aren't you?" The five approached him, glaring down. "What's going on here?" he demanded.

"The warlock's plan- what is it he's planning?! Why is he using supernatural creatures to get his dirty work done? Why did he need a dragon?" Dipper demanded.

William Cardinals face went white. He stared at the five of them, his mouth open. "You mean... you're serious... you actually believe in magic?"

Dipper looked to Mabel. That didn't sound like the voice coming from a man with conviction to violence. The twins looked to Stan and Arline, who seemed to be sharing similar thoughts. Pacifica was first to pipe up.

"Duh, this town is crawling with weird stuff. So you kind of telling us magic is the reason it works- whatever," she shrugged. "Look, so how much money do I need to fork over to you to get one of these things."

"Oh no," William chuckled, "I don't trade with money."

"What?!" Stan and Pacifica gasped, and asked, "Why not?"

"Because, what use is money to someone who can get anything he wants?" William asked with a wink. They stared at him, but Dipper slowly nodded.

"You're not human," he stated, and William smiled and shook his head.

"What are you?" Mabel asked. William smiled his widest, and sitting cross-legged in his seat, he began to float upwards. Shimmering light of blue and gold began to radiate off of him. "Whoa!"

"Once, a slave," he told them, and from the air itself, he summoned a pair of golden bracers. As they got a glance to it, he whisked them away from reality, "then I was freed. Now, I'm a wish-giver who does a lot of traveling."

"A genie!?" Dipper gasped.

William nodded, and then shrugged. "I prefer djinn, but sure."

"You can grant wishes?" Arline asked.

"I can! But I'm now less of a wish-giver these days- it's much more satisfying seeing people happy when they can finally be cured of whatever disease hurts them," he told them with a grin.

"Wait, but why won't you trade in money?" Dipper asked, "what do you trade with?"

"Your possessions. Specifically, prized possessions," he told them with a glint in his eyes.

"Wait, but what if money is my prized possession?" Stan asked. All five turned and stared at him. "What? I love money?" William Cardinal rolled his eyes, and fluttered his hand. Grunkle Stan was lifted into the air. "H-hey! Put me down!" slowly, he was floated out of the shop.

"Well, now that we're in the company of those who actually want to trade," William shook his head, and he finally focused on Pacifica, "you wanted one as well?"

"Yeah. My boyfriend is going through a rough patch," she told him, "so I, uh, need him better. For reasons," she added, her cheeks reddening.

"Aw, love is what brought you here?" William asked, floating down next to her and standing next to her. Arline stepped back as the man put a hand on her shoulder. After a moment, his eyes twinkled and he grinned. "Indeed. A deep love."

"I, uh, just can we do the deal?" Pacifica's voice lowered as her face darkened to a rose color.

With a gentle smile, the man next to her snapped his fingers. Floating before her, a small blue and gold pearly pill floated. "Take it. On the house, kid," William told her.

"Wait... but you said-" she told him.

"Hey, I'm a sucker for love," he told her as he walked around the table and sat back down. With only a second hesitation, Pacifica reached out and tentatively took the pill. "Congratulations, you've made my first completed transaction. Hope he feels better," he told her with a wink. Pacifica looked around, spotting Dipper's awe for the Pill, Arline's satisfaction, and Mabel, who's eyes shimmered with happy tears.

"You love Yuki?" Mabel asked with a trembling voice. "Ohhh myyy goood-"

"Ugh. I'll be back at your shack," Pacifica quickly turned and marched out.

Dipper turned after watching Pacifica leave to address the djinn. "So you really are giving out cure alls?"

"Well, what else is a wish-giver going to do without purpose?" William asked. "I can wish food and drink whenever I'd like to, so money has little use for me. You see," he adjust in his seat, and waved his hand around, "every single item in this room here, every one, is a trade I've done. Things people like, cherish, and would be willing to give up to make someone healthy, or be healthy themselves. Whenever I spot someone's name up there," he pointed to a shelf full of abridged letters, "I can remember their name perfectly, along with their face and how happy they were when they realized they would really be cured. That kind of thing is worth more than money to me."

"Aww, that's adorable," Mabel cooed. "What about Pacifica? She didn't trade you anything."

"Yet," William wiggled a finger in the air, "people tend to come back with a thank you of some sort when I do that. I have a dozen binders or so stuffed with thank you cards, just to fall asleep to."

"Then why don't you give out these for free?" Arline asked.

"If I did that, I think I'd be drawing more attention to myself. Besides, It's not like I'm really denying anyone- from the richest to the poorest, we all have things we cherish to trade," William said.

"Can I feel your beard?" Mabel asked. William shrugged, and Mabel walked over, and began to stroke the thick hair. "Wow, so mystical and masculine..."

"But you said it can cure _anything_?" Dipper asked again.

"Yup," the djinn smiled at Dipper as Mabel played with his beard. "All I ask is something you cherish in return."

"I... okay," Dipper thought, running his fingers together. What did he have that was something worth a cure all for Wendy? It had to be something that he could afford to give away, something that could be left behind. Dipper's fingers ran inside his jacket and played with the spine of the journal as he thought. "Anything?" he asked the man.

"I like small little things, but sure, anything. What do you have in your jacket?" he asked. Dipper blinked and withdrew the journal. "Whoa," the djinn spotted the strange book, "what is that?"

"It's a journal from one of my grand uncles. He catalogued a lot of strange, mysterious things in the town, and I've used it for I don't know how many things," Dipper explained while reading into a few pages, his eyes scanning over memorable sections he'd seen many times. "All of it's authentic so far."

"It sounds amazing," William said as Mabel nodded.

"Dipper is in love with it. Practically a bible," she told him.

William turned his gaze from Mabel to her twin. "You know... that sounds like something I'd be willing to trade for a Panacea-cillin."

"R-Really?" Dipper asked, closing the journal instantly. "For... my journal?" he repeated, looking down to the reflective, golden, six-fingered imprint.

"Absolutely."

"I, well," Dipper frowned, his own image showing him his conflicted mind.

The journal. Number three. The one that above all else had gotten Dipper out of trouble more times than he could keep track. It saved his life, protected him and his family from harm, unraveled mysteries, and was one of three remaining artifacts from Stanford Pines that were safe. Dipper needed that cure though. Wendy needed to be cured finally, and Dipper knew that. Even still, the idea of never seeing that journal again...

"You know," William piped up, and Dipper saw the bearded man study him, "give it some thought. I'm here until tomorrow morning. Clearly you really, really like that journal."

"Well, yeah," Dipper shrugged.

"Come back later if you change your mind to keep it," William told Dipper with a kind smile. "Either of you want one?"

"No, my good man!" Mabel told him pleasantly, but turned to her brother with a glare, "but you'll have to excuse me while I take my brother out for a talk."

"Sure. Come back if you change your mind, or consider something else to trade," he reminded them as Mabel strode around the table, grabbed Dipper by the arm and pulled him out from the trailer. Arline looked back once to the djinn, studying him, and then followed. Outside, Grunkle Stan watched them stumble out, leaning on the trailer with a sour face.

"About time. I was getting bored out here," he grumbled. Mabel's grip on Dipper tightened, and Dipper winced. "Ugh, did I miss something?" Stan asked.

"Ow! Let go Mabel," Dipper demanded, pulling himself free once they were outside.

"Are you kidding me, bro?" Mabel said to him, her tone devoid of her usual bounce. "You had a chance to get Wendy one of those super cure-all thingies, and you didn't want to because you like the journal too much!?"

"That's not why I didn't!" Dipper rounded down on her.

"Then why?" Arline asked, stepping next to Mabel. "Dipper, she's got a point. You've been dying for the past week because of this."

"The journal has been really, really helpful!" Dipper told them as Stan walked next to him. "Aside from knowing just about every little thing there was out in this area and how to counter it, it's been the closest thing we've had to a real guide to the paranormal! It _could_ have the answer to what to do with Wendy!"

"Could, yeah," Mabel rolled her eyes, "how's that been going so far? Huh?"

"Hold on Mabel," Stan piped up, "as much as I agree with you, these... books are the last thing my brother had. Next to that portal, which I'm not a fan of looking at," Grunkle Stan shivered, "it's the only thing left we've got of him."

The mention of the lost brother paused the twins. Their heated debate was instantly snuffed out, as the two of them realized that this decision was not just Dipper's to make. It was the three of them. Arline stood next to them, arms crossed and watching them.

"Why don't we all head back, and then see if this really is a cure?" Arline suggested. "I don't think we have much to doubt with him, but you never knew."

"Not a bad idea," Dipper nodded.

* * *

"I'm feeling much better!" Yuki shouted as he came rushing down the stairs to join Pacifica.

The twins, Arline, and Stan had just arrived back to the Mystery Manor, and were met with the cheerful news that not only had the cure been extremely effective, but it was instant. The residue from Yuki had vanished from him into thin air, and now he was more energetic than he had acted in his entire stay. Only Waddles seemed unimpressed with the instant recovery of Yuki- as he demanded the same amount of attention and love from his alien friend regardless of health.

"Yay!" Mabel cheered and ran to the three, past Wendy, who grinned happily for Yuki. "Now you can stay happy and bouncy forever." Waddles squealed loudly, sitting next to the counter top. "He's happy for you too," Mabel told Yuki.

Yuki nervously chuckled at Mabel, but his girlfriend patted his shoulder. "You don't need to," Pacifica told Yuki, who seemed worried that would become his expectant behavior. "Just keep being you."

"That I will," he said with a smile to Pacifica. "I just feel... wonderful! Better than I've ever felt since coming to earth!"

"Well, guess that cure worked. Think there are any after-effects?" Stan asked Dipper.

"I don't know. This looks like true magic," Dipper explained, "instant cure, instant relief."

"Either way," Yuki said, and turned to Pacifica and kissed her on the cheek, "I'll be off! I have an interview I'll be scheduling now!" he told the others before skipping past them and out the door. The pig oinked at him as he charged past.

"Wait! You could wait and see if there's any side... ah, forget it," Stan sighed.

"It's nice seeing him so happy now," Mabel told Pacifica, who sighed deeply, her face distant and dreamy.

"Yeah... er," Pacifica spotted Dipper grinning at her as Mabel squealed, and she cleared her throat, "well, now that he's better, I have to go re-buy these clothes. I'll see you all later," she said, and marched passed them, her nose in the air.

"Bye Pacifica," the twins waved her off.

"Man, that stuff actually works," Wendy smiled, "what do you have to give up for one of those? An arm and a leg?"

"Well, Dipper," Mabel said loudly, and grabbed his arm again, "you saw it work. What's the word?"

Dipper turned and stared into the expectant eyes of his sister. He knew what he wanted to say, and more what she wanted to hear him say. Then he turned to Wendy. She was watching with a crooked eyebrow, uncertain to their conversation. As he stared to her, the unknowing topic of their conversation, she smiled and winked at him.

"I, uh," Dipper quickly turned to Mabel, "I'm going to check over my notes one more time. You know, just to make sure."

"Dipper," Mabel hissed at him, her voice lowered, "we just saw it work on Yuki! How can you just ignore that!?"

"I'm not ignoring anything," he told her with a huff, "I'm just, you know, making sure we have everything in order."

"Dipper-"

"Look, I said I'd think about it, okay?" Dipper told her angrily.

"Fine," Mabel turned away, "you have a day to think about it, remember. Try not to be _too_ selfish about it."

Dipper growled and stormed past the others.

Him? Selfish? He was trying to save something that could otherwise also save Wendy, and then more down the road. Not only that, the journal was coupled with memories of a lost family member. If that was being selfish to Mabel, Dipper needed to throw a dictionary into her face. Although, he could probably do that anyway.

Then again, he saw that smile from Wendy. The trust she had for him to choose correctly was astonishing and seemingly limitless. And to think he was hiding a book from the man who would gladly trade that for the answer to Wendy's sickness... it made Dipper's head spin and his stomach feel sick. He hated the idea that Wendy could trust him and he had the option to save her like that.

Stomping into the living room, he sat next to the same couch chair and stared at the many papers he had laid out.

'Wraiths are abominations made from shadow and madness, impervious to all harm.'

'From a failed attempt at immorality, the wraith is a ghost who seeks the life-force of victims around it.'

'The most unpredictable of spirits, the wraith will haunt anywhere it pleases, sometimes roaming entire forests or countries as it looks for victims to slay.'

Dipper growled as he reached over and crumpled the notes into a ball. None of them still helped. The closest thing he had that they all agreed on is that some dark magic is required to make a wraith, that they seem to be un-tethered to location or grave, and that they are considered undead. After that, wraiths could be seemingly anything.

What he wouldn't give to just see that one book that Robbie had used three years ago. Dipper wondered, as his eyes once again became heavy while scanning more pages of text, if Zander could call Robbie to ask him if he still had the book. It would explain why Dipper hadn't found it yet.

Yawning, Dipper flipped a page, and found a detailed rune, supposedly used to ward off dangerous undead. Dipper had seen the correct version of the rune, and was surprised by how close they almost got. Yet, in the end, it was still incorrect.

Before Dipper knew it, he closed his eyes and fell back against the couch chair.

Yet he never hit the couch.

Instinct and adrenaline kicked in as Dipper felt himself fall through emptiness. He screamed, looking around. Stars wheeled around him as he spiraled downwards, falling deep into nothingness.

No more warning than his own instinct, Dipper found an approaching platform below him. Grey and glowing, the closer he got to it, the slower he fell. As he hovered above the platform, suspended by some unknown force, he stepped down onto the two-dimensional object. The circle was as hard as concrete, but smooth like metal.

"Well, well, well," a high-pitched voice called from behind him, "I was wondering how long it would be before I caught you day-dreaming into a nightmare."

"No," Dipper slowly turned, his eyes wide.

Floating up from underneath the platform, the black outline of a top hat began to rise, followed by a yellow triangle with small noodle-like arms and legs. Spinning a cane in one hand, the one-eyed yellow triangle demon spoke to Dipper without a mouth.

"How's it goin', Pine tree?" Bill Cipher asked as he zoomed in closer, "Aww man, you look exhausted? Great! Want to play a game of 'how much sleep deprivation can a human being sustain before death'? I love that game!"

"This is impossible," Dipper told him.

"Oh?"

"We locked you up in the portal! In the space between dimensions! Stan made sure you couldn't get out!" Dipper shouted at Bill. The single eye rolled around.

"Hah! Oh, right, good 'ol Stanford. You know, it's times like these that make me happy I know your entire family here. I can send you your great-uncles regards!" Bill explained. "By the way, he says AAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Bill screamed at the top of his lungs, so loud Dipper dared not to remove his hands until the echoes of the scream faded away into the space surrounding them. "Also hugs and kisses," Bill added.

"You're lying," Dipper told him, "this is just a bad, really, really bad dream."

"Sure it is! But what makes you think I'm not actually in it?" Bill asked, zooming around him in a quick circle.

"Because you can't leave! At least without someone letting you out," Dipper thought for a moment, his eyes widening. Had someone, somehow, let the Dream demon escape?

"Hah, I wish," Cipher shrugged his arms up, "being stuck in a realm without a concept of time but space and energy is really different to what I'm used to, but boring in the long run! The things I torture there don't remember it because there's not concept of time!"

"Then... how are you here?" Dipper dared to ask.

"Well just because you locked me up doesn't mean I can't peak my way through the cracks and whisper to you mortal, three dimensional, linear grown sacks of meat. Heck, I've already done it twice before," Cipher added with happy swirl of his cane.

"You can just sneak out? Great. Well what do you want!?" Dipper shouted at him.

"Ohh, angry twinny Pine-tree! Love it! Much better than the stupid, confident, well spoken version of yourself," Cipher told him.

"I'm on a timeline, that's all," Dipper told him.

"Hahaha, timelines. That's funny. Corporeal, linear things make me laugh. Ah, right, speaking of which," Bill zoomed slightly closer, "let's talk about that."

"What?"

"About Red! Boy," Cipher waved his arm, and a picture of Wendy materialized before him, "she doesn't look so good.". Dipper saw her face, and gasped. The patches under her eyes were considerably darker, and her skin shock white. Her great green eyes seemed to be fading into a timid mint.

"That's not what she looks like!" Dipper told him.

"Sure, not now in your ephemeral present, but in just three years she turns into that. Want to see four?" Bill snapped his fingers, and the image changed, but was a living, breathing Wendy. Her hair was graying, her eyes almost entirely white, and her skin was nearly matching the tone of an albino. Worse of all, she was craning her head around, hunched over, snarling at air.

"No... no," Dipper shook his head, "that's not- you're just-"

"The truth is a lot more convincing than a lie," Cipher told him.

"You've done that kind of thing before!" Dipper shouted at him, "shown me something that isn't really there!"

"Sure! That's why I'm a dream demon, you silly, silly boy," Cipher said. "But really, you want to call me a liar? How about yourself?"

"W-what?" Dipper gasped.

"Well, for someone who promises Wendy that you'd find that cure right away, your sure quick to ignore one that is just handed to you instantly," Bill said, and Dipper turned away, holding his arm. "You know, pride runs strong in the family. You want to be the one to cure her yourself. Just like your Great Uncle- be the one to get all the credit."

"SHUT UP!" Dipper turned and lunged at Bill, who let Dipper slide completely through him and hit the ground.

"Now this is the kind of conversation I love. The one filled with anger and violence. Makes me miss the dark ages of Europe. Crusades, crucifixions, witch-hunts: good times," Bill sighed longingly. "Still, I've got a point, kid."

Despite himself, Dipper thought out aloud. "The pill the djinn gives out could have side effects."

"Sure it could!" Bill agreed.

"And that journal is really important to everyone," Dipper continued.

"Yup! Heck, I'd love to use it myself!" Cipher said excitedly. Dipper frowned and grunted. He hated to admit it, but the demon wasn't wrong. He'd never admit to him being right, but he... wasn't wrong. "Hmm- sounds like you're stuck there, kiddo. Well, unless..."

Dipper turned and looked into Cipher's eye. "No."

"Aww, not even going to hear me out?"

"Absolutely not," Dipper repeated.

"C'mon pine-tree," Cipher asked.

"I'd rather trade all the journals than do any deal with you," Dipper said.

"Funny, because I know that Djinn," Bill said, circling Dipper slowly, "and he doesn't have a fraction of the power I have. His wishes have limitations, and conditions. My power? Infinite."

"No. I'm done with talking to you. Go back to dimensional prison you monster," Dipper snapped at Bill, and began to sit down.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Bill asked, zooming into Dipper.

"Getting ready to wake up," Dipper said, closing his eyes and focusing his internal mind on doing just that.

"C'mon, you can't be serious!" Bill out-cried. "I came all the way here, for you, from the prison you locked me up in, and all you want to do is wake up and spoil the endless, semi-existential fun I have planned?"

Dipper focused harder, and felt less and less of the dream. Then, as Dipper felt himself ready to awaken, four words changed his mind in a flash.

"I can cure Wendy."

Dipper's eyes snapped open. "What?" he demanded of the Triangle.

"Oh, so, you'll listen to my proposal?" Cipher asked, turning half way away from the human teen, revealing part of his two dimensional existence.

"I... didn't say that," Dipper said.

"Hmm, then listen to me fully," Cipher said, coming closer. "Pine Tree, I know what Red's stuck with. Being a wraith isn't fun for anyone, except young Bhord. He's got that under control, the sweet kid. Nah, Red? She's got only a few years of sanity left in her at the rate she's going. So... here's my proposal."

Dipper swallowed. Despite his internal mind screaming for him to wake up and turn away from the deal demon, the monster of dreams, and the corrupter of knowledge, he listened to Bill.

"I cure little miss Red. She returns to being a human with a snap of my fingers. All you have to do is one, teeny, tiny, little thing for me. Well, you and all your friends, that is."

Dipper couldn't believe he was about to entertain the idea, but he frowned and asked, "And what is that?"

Bill chuckled, "Oh, you know, the usual." He zoomed into Dipper, less than an inch away, and the teen fell backwards with the rush of color. "You and your friends leave gravity falls forever and never return." Dipper breathed rapidly as he held himself below the demon, staring up at him. A black hand poked itself towards him, and Cipher squinted at Dipper. "So, Pine tree, do we have a deal?"

* * *

Wowzers! Early update is early! But what's this? A chapter without a significant amount of action? :O

Aside from that, BILL's BACK BABY! Just like he said at the end of Stronghold and Serpents, oh, like 20 chapters ago or something. Or more... what chapter was it? More chapters ago!? Dang... I forget sometimes this story's been out for a year.

And we meet another friendly paranormal creature! William Cardinal, the Djinn! And yes, if you're wondering, 'boy, that sounds a lot like _,' it's because you're right. He's based off of one of my personal heroes, icons, and deities.

Can you guys believe that we're almost seventy five percent done with season two? Episode fifteen is in two weeks, and then there are only five after that. So... eleven more weeks of season two. Things will be heating up soon, in case the appearance of Bill Cipher didn't give any hints.

Also, can you believe that I almost made this a chapter about Yuki dying of a cold? Yeah! I was going to go all "War of the Worlds" on you guys with a cold killing our poor little Uki-Dohth Alien boy. It wouldn't end up killing him, of course, but that would have been a plot-line. But we've already got Wendy ill, so we don't need any more references to sci-fi alien stuff. Got that all out of my system in season one.

(A huge flying saucer crashes onto EZB.)


	50. I Dream of Deals: Part 2

Dipper stared at the yellow construct of nightmares. "What?" The eye of Bill Cipher squeezed upwards, indicating an unseen smile. "What do you mean 'leave and never return'?"

"I mean I want you and shooting star out of this town once and for all time, never to return," Bill elaborated, keeping his hand rigidly stretched out. "You pack your silly earthly belongings, put them in a larger box of case or whatever, and use your weak, noodle legs to walk, run, or flail out of town. Forever."

"You never said why," Dipper told him. Bill chuckled.

"I don't need to."

"Then no deal," Dipper told Bill.

"Fine, fine," Bill rolled his eye and let his hand fall to his side, the cane spinning in his other hand. "It's just a matter of what's batter in the long run, you see."

"How so?"

"Well, I've got my plans at eternal life and all time and energy to dominate, and you've got your pitiful one hundred year reign of life to waste away, and it's best if we don't interfere with other of our plans for the future, huh? I'd personally like to see us get past our little attempts at actually _destroying_ one another."

"Liar," Dipper snarled, "you've always loved the idea of killing me-"

"And Shooting star!" Bill added. "But killing an destroying are different things, huh?" Bill shrugged, and hovered a few inches closer, Dipper's reflection in Bill's maddening eye, "besides, you being destroyed _isn't_ a lie."

"...y-yes it is," Dipper replied shakily.

"Ohhh, look at you, all unnerved at the idea that I could actually be honest."

"I know your penchant for being honest," Dipper gulped, "and it tends to be when you like what the truth already is."

"HA!" Bill roared with laughter, "you know me better than I expected a three dimensional corporeal spit of decaying thought to be able to. That's 'human', by the way," Bill added with a blink to Dipper. "Humans are spit to me."

"You're just lying-"

"Fine, fine, here," Bill spin his cane around quickly, causing the black line to blur, "look into the future for yourself, kid."

Dipper squinted at the demon, but allowed himself a moment to wonder. It was enough to risk letting himself be deceived by Bill. Worst came to worst, it would be a trick. Unless Dipper made a pact with Bill, nothing permanent could be done to him. That would tide his fears over for the time.

He leaned closer, and saw the blackness now of the circle. Then, the shadows faded and showed a clear day. Swashing away from Gravity Falls like oil, the darkness left Dipper staring at a view of the horizon by the cliffs. It was... odd. Something seemed off about the town. There was more smoke trails than there should have been. The trees seemed lifted in some areas. What had happened? How far in the future was he being shown?

Then came a blast of light. Dipper would have thought the sun was rising, and it's unflinching rays hitting his eyes, but the day was clear already above him.

He saw it in the distance- a tower of light shining above town in the distance, somewhere in the woods. He wanted to peer closer, see where it was basing itself.

Then the beam collapsed and fizzled out of existence. Replacing it with a blast of sound so loud the trees bent away from the source, a huge pure white explosion began to push itself outward. It devoured everything it touched- trees, buildings, cars, buses- everything.

Dipper stared in horror as the town he was currently staying in was blow away by the source of light- erased from existence like shredding a paper in the wind.

He screamed and turned just as the blast met his face. The bright white was too much for him to peer into.

"Ah, there, see?" the uncomforting and uncaring voice of a two dimensional demon spoke, "all gone. Whoosh. Like it never existed."

"How? Why!?" Dipper demanded, turning back and approaching the being.

"Why should I tell you?" Bill asked, resting the end of his cane atop his hat.

"Because... maybe, uh," Dipper looked about the cosmos.

"Don't even try lying to me, Pine tree," Bill chuckled, "you're just trying to do that stupid noble thing and save lives or whatever. Well guess what? It wont matter what you do," Bill said, getting inches from his face again, "this _will_ happen."

"Y-yeah?" Dipper asked. When Bill made no sound, Dipper squinted at him again, his mind coming to a realization, "you have something to do with that. I know you do!"

Bill blew a raspberry in the air. "Impossible. I can't even issue standard deals anymore, let alone force mortals to do what I want them to. What makes you think I can do anything in the dimensional locker with good 'ol secand grunkle?"

Dipper stared into the eye. He hated to say it, Bill seemed to be truthful there. Dipper and Mabel had the chance to lock away the demon of corrupted dreams and the burning future into a space between spaces. To their knowledge, it would be something of a miracle to get him out. And it would have to come from their side. Not only that, as Dipper thought, Bill wasn't a good loser. He would have come for Dipper and Mabel before this to get back at them. Three years maybe not sound like much when Bill talked about time, but his concept of time passing was already warped.

"Look, kid," Bill sighed and zoomed back, "I can see that horribly limited mind of yours trying to come to a decision. Why don't we both take our time, huh?"

"What?" Dipper asked.

"I'll give you a few hours to stew on the idea, and I'll just sit here, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for you to come to your senses of unreality. Then, when you finally see I'm Red's best hope at not being a cannibalistic rabid monster, although that sounds _adorable_," Bill added with a long sigh, "you'll beg me for that deal."

Dipper then felt the ground beneath him give way. Before he could reach out and grab something, he was falling again into the starry darkness around him. Above, as he screamed, he heard, "and a reminder- she'll look like this-"

A version of Wendy dived down from the whole in the platform. White eyes, wild, tangled hair, and a hateful, ravenous glare all descended onto Dipper. As he closed his eyes, he yelled-

"Dipper!"

\- and again he owned them, and found himself awake.

His eyes darted around him. It wasn't just the voice of Wendy that told him he wasn't alone. Four faces turned down and stared at him with a mixture of worry and apprehension. Mabel leaned over the arm of the couch, directly above Dipper, and Wendy extended a hand to him.

"Bro, that was something intense you were dreaming about," Mabel said to Dipper.

"Yeah, it was," Dipper mumbled as he let himself be pulled upright, taking Wendy's hand.

"Well," Stan chuckled, "I'm sure it wasn't anything too horrible! Not like the Cipher came back or anything!" Dipper turned and stared at Stan, not betraying any trust by keeping his face darkened. "...oh," Stan's posture fell, "you talked to the parasite."

"Bill Cipher?" Soos asked.

Dipper nodded. Mabel puffed her cheeks as she furrowed her brow. "But why?" she asked. "He's been a locked up loser for three years."

Dipper began explaining the whole conversation. Everything from the possibility that Bill Cipher had been sneaking out of his prison to speak to others, and of his deal to have Dipper and his sister leave town, and finally, of his impending words on the doom of the town. The four watched with baited breath, but Dipper swore Stan looked the worst. His face had gone a faint green, and he looked away from Dipper as he spoke.

"Well, I wanted lunch soon," Stan grumbled, "but for the sake of keeping tiles in the bathroom clean, I'll pass on food."

"So he's coming back," Mabel grumbled and fell back on the couch.

"Not necessarily," Dipper argued, "he said something about how he couldn't make a full deal or something. I don't think he's at his fullest strength yet."

"But dude, if he's able to keep doing that," Soo added, "that means he could be getting stronger."

"Could be... yeah," Dipper worriedly agreed, "I just... how do we know?"

"Well, is the town in any actual danger?" Wendy asked to her boss directly. The three others turned and stared at Stan. He glanced to the four, and began to chew on his finger. "Stan?" Wendy asked after a paused moment.

"Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked, "do you know something else?"

"What?" Dipper quickly demanded, "what else is there? If Bill's right-"

"Look, look," Stan shrugged and looked around them, perhaps checking for eavesdroppers, "I didn't want to say anything. But, uh, you remember that night where Arline got all huffy with me?"

"The night before Summerween?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah, that one," Stan nodded, "well... I, uh... had a dream."

"Lucky," Wendy said wistfully.

"Anyway," Stan glared at Wendy, who grew red in the face and scratched her neck as she looked away, "the dream showed me the future of town. It... it looked really rough. Town was in ruins- monsters running around, plants and animals fighting themselves and people, civilization collapsing-"

"That has Bill written all over it," Dipper growled, "why didn't you tell us about it?"

"Because, according to the dream, I should have already prevented that future!" Stan declared.

"Huh?" Mabel cocked her head to the side.

"Look, it was a premonition by a ghost of the future," Stan bluntly said, causing the four listeners to blink in confusion. "It was warning me what the future would look like if I didn't change my ways around Summerween or something. I don't know, but I did! So the future that I saw shouldn't happen!" Stan glanced around, and peered over their heads, "where's Yuki?" He pushed past Dipper and Wendy and rushed out of the room.

"Well, I haven't seen him that spooked in a long time," Soos stated aloud, "heck, not even when the poltergeist was in the building was he that spooked."

"So," Dipper scratched his chin, "Stan's also seen the future. Great. So Cipher could have been telling the truth," Dipper sighed. "That's not what I wanted to discover."

"Why?" Mabel asked.

"Because that means... that means I need to actually consider his-"

"No way," Mabel cut him off. Dipper sighed and Mabel began to rant. "Are you kidding, Dipper?! Do you remember what happened last time?! He totally took advantage of you and made you his personal-"

"I know, I know," Dipper groaned.

"You still didn't say what he was offering for you two to leave town," Wendy asked, studying Dipper carefully. Dipper looked to her and gulped. It seemed to be enough for Wendy. "Oh... me."

"Cipher came to me and said he could cure you," Dipper explained as Mabel grumbled behind him, flopping her arms against he couch.

"Dude," Wendy shook her head and pursed her lip, "I told you that it's not something you need to do! I can't be cured!" she shouted.

"Ah, I'm just going to go help Stan with... whatever he's doing," Soos said, verbally excusing himself from the room. Mabel slowly stood off the couch and backed away, out of the room. Though Dipper was certain he could see her shadow against the wall just outside the room, listening in.

"I'm sorry Wendy, I was going to tell you that I'm still working on it," Dipper began but Wendy sighed.

"No, no, sorry dude," she held out her arm and shook her head, "I... I shouldn't have gotten huffy about it."

"It's okay. I should have told you," Dipper shrugged, timidly smiling to her. Wendy grinned and looked to the floor around him.

"You've really been going at it though," she mentioned, bending down to lift a pile of papers. She scanned them as a smile crept over her lips. "Man, I wish Robbie had sent me even evidence of his 'so called research'," Wendy admitted.

"I wish he sent me the research," Dipper sighed, "I could cross-analyze them to find a result quicker."

"I don't know if you can," Wendy reminded Dipper.

"And that's why.. I'm thinking about Bill's offer," Dipper told her.

"Dipper," Wendy shook her head.

"I know! Just what Mabel said, yeah," Dipper sighed. He shuffled his feet and in the process kicked open his journal. "Then again... there is still..."

"Huh?" Wendy asked as Dipper bent down and picked up the journal. When Dipper stared into his last open pages, on cures, Wendy waved a hand before his eyes. "Dude. You're drifting on me here."

"Sorry," Dipper turned to her, "in town, there's this guy. A traveling Djinn."

"A genie?!" Wendy gasped.

"A... yeah," Dipper blinked and nodded, "how did you-"

"My favorite movie as a kid was about a genie and a lamp," Wendy shrugged.

"Right," Dipper grinned and nodded, "and he's trading things for panaceas- literal cure alls."

Wendy froze. "Wait... wait..." she said twice, looking deep into Dipper's eyes, "you mean... that whole 'ultimate medicine' rumor is true?"

"It cured Yuki, didn't it?" Dipper told her. Wendy began to breathe quickly, pacing around. "Wait, wait, Wendy-"

"I could actually... feel again. Eat again," she said aloud, and looked back to Dipper, "I could know what it means to be warm!"

"Y-yes," Dipper nodded, and the weight in his stomach tightened and grew heavier. Just in concept Wendy was enthralled and beyond excited. She wanted the cure now, so evidently and clearly- yet he had hesitated in trading the journal for the ultimate cure for her.

"Dipper?" Wendy asked, spotting the downtrodden look he wore.

"Sorry," he said honestly.

"What?"

"I... in order to get one of these things, you have to trade, not buy."

"Okay," Wendy shrugged, "what does he like? Stuffed animals?"

"No, he wants the things you value most," Dipper explained, and held out his journal, "and I value this journal more than any other book, game, computer- you name it. And I-"

"Well duh," Wendy rolled her eyes, "you're not going to get it for me."

"I... what?" Dipper asked timidly.

"Dude, this is my curse. It's my trade."

"But the journal could get me one instantly, and I-"

"Dipper, look," Wendy smiled and put a hand to his mouth, "I'm glad you're thinking about me here. Really, dude, I am. But you're not just going to go toss the most awesome book in the world for this. For all we know, somewhere in that book is the answer anyway."

Dipper looked down, his eyes feeling heavy. "I'm not so sure about that anymore."

"Besides, I need to think of something that he'd want from me," Wendy admitted, and left the room. "Thanks dude!" she waved once behind her before leaving Dipper alone in the living room, his heart the weight of lead.

From behind him, the footsteps of an equally weighed body came stepping in. Next to him a single finger gently poked his arm. "Bro?" Mabel asked.

"She's not angry at me," Dipper sighed, and fell back against the couch with a resounding squeak of springs.

"Guess she's more excited about the idea that it'll actually work. Still though," Mabel sat next to him, using the arm on the couch as her seat, "why don't you do it?"

"Because this journal is still useful!" Dipper snapped back, keeping his voice lowered. He glared at Mabel and indicated at her with the journal. "How about you, huh?"

"I would, dummy," Mabel crossed her arms together and glared, "but what do I actually care about? Hm?"

She didn't need to answer, and Dipper didn't need an answer. People. Mabel loved people and animals. Neither were things that she could trade, nor would she if she had the chance. The closest thing Dipper considered arguing for was her summer journal upstairs.

"And we can't have Grunkle Stan trade anything," Mabel continued, "he'd just give away money! And Mister Cardinal didn't want any money."

"Or he'd give away the other two journals," Dipper told Mabel, "which then the same issue comes into play."

"And Wendy?" Mabel asked. "What does she _have_ to give away? Huh?" Dipper opened his mouth and stared. To that question, he had no answer. For all he knew, Wendy's current belongings were her bike, a spare set of clothing, her pay as you go phone, and a her side pack. Nothing there seemed immediately worthy of trade.

Dipper gritted his teeth and looked into his hands. The Journal sat there, a large bound book in his hands of knowledge and wisdom. Yet... three years in his possession, Dipper did acknowledge it's abilities were waning.

It told him less and less of new monsters. It had nothing on dragons, or wraiths for that matter. Also, it made no mention of the mysterious Guardsmen of the woods, nor that strange stone, or the four golems the twins had encountered. Sure, Dipper never had fully memorized the other two books, but when he had skimmed through them, it was a collection of notes that went from collaborations in journal three to out-dated notes. In the end, number three was the most up-to-date and most informed, and if that was the case, it's uses were becoming limited.

Dipper gripped at the leather bindings.

He was fifteen now. Maybe he could make do without the journals for now on.

"I'm heading out" Dipper said, pushing past his sister with a decision clear in his mind. "Where's Wendy?" Dipper asked to Mabel as he walked by.

"She left," Mabel told him.

"Huh?"

"As soon as she left you here, she was out the door like, "Mabel made her best race-car drive by noise.

"Dang it!" Dipper shouted and ran out of the room.

"Bro?" Mabel called, her creaking footsteps along the floor in hot pursuit.

"She can't give anything away- that's not right," Dipper explained as he stepped through the gift shop, passing Stan and Soos with a collective group of tourists, "I'd rather give up something than have her lose even more."

Mabel stalled as Dipper bounded off the front steps of the porch and onto the ground, pushing ahead towards his car. "You got this, dude?" she called as he opened the door to his car. He only needed to look back to her once, his eyes full of the same angry confidence his tone carried, and Mabel knew he would be fine. "I'll be waiting here. Go prove Bill wrong!" She called with a cheery wave.

Engine one, gears in reverse and the gas pedal pushed, Dipper turned himself out of the dirt and gravel path and onto the main road. He still hadn't spotted Wendy, but he doubted he would be seeing her until he got to the trailer of the djinn. Wendy could take her own trails in the woods, and Dipper only had the streets.

True to his word, he didn't see her even as raced into the parking lot and nearly hit a small family. "Sorry!" he waved through his window as he finally slid to a stop and pulled himself out of his seat and to his feet. Closing the door and checking around, he spotted a large, unfocused, group of leaving townsfolk.

"Trading my secret recipe was a great idea," Lazy Suzan told herself as Dipper passed by.

After the weaving through retreating guests, Dipper leapt up the small stairs and passed inside without announcing himself. "Mister William," Dipper called. With a jump and gasp, the man turned from a large pile of strange and ordinary looking objects.

"Dipper Pines," William Cardinal smiled and moved over to the table, "you've come back."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "I needed some thought to that deal we wanted to make."

"Understandable," William nodded and grinned, "no rush either."

"Well, also," Dipper started as he began to remove the journal from his vest, "I, uh, you haven't traded with a girl with long red hair have you?"

William Cardinal cocked an eyebrow and chuckled. "I've met a family of red-heads, but all men. I think I-" William suddenly stopped, and flicked his head towards the entrance. "Oh no," he grunted. "Dipper, stay back my boy," William told him, gently pushing him away from the door. As Dipper side-stepped with Williams push, a knock came from the paneling next to the door. "Go away! I already told you that I don't want anything to do with you!"

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"Whoa dude, you've got the wrong person," Wendy's voice fluttered through the curtains. Dipper grinned, but gasped as William cried out loud and ran to the other side of the table.

"Another one!" he roared as Wendy poked her head through the fabric. He lifted up a large, double barreled shotgun and aimed it at her.

"Whoa!" Dipper rushed forward, and lowered the gun, "what gives!?"

"Dipper, let go! That's a monster of darkness behind you!" William told him as Wendy remained at the curtain, shocked at the aggressive response.

"She's not evil!" Dipper told him with a shout, "she's been cursed! That's all!"

"Wait," William allowed Dipper to tear away the weapon before he dropped it under the table, "you know of this creature?"

"She has a name," Wendy added.

"That's Wendy," Dipper told William.

"Wendy?" William turned and glanced at her. "Well... I assume you understand the nature of a wraith, Dipper?" the Djinn asked Dipper worriedly, rubbing his hands across the back of his neck.

"More or less," Dipper nodded. He then added, "she's perfectly in control of herself."

"Well... then as long as you continue to act like this, you may enter," William told Wendy with a nervous look to Dipper. "You know a wraith?" he asked as Dipper watched his friend come in.

"I knew her before she became one," Dipper told him, smiling at Wendy the entire time. "We're..." Dipper blinked and wandered just what to call the two of them now. Friends, obviously. Best friends? Yeah, he could say that.

Was there another title he could use he wasn't able to remember?

"Well, have a seat, Wendy," William told the redhead, "I'll help you with whatever I can after I deal with Dipper first," William grinned shakily to Wendy, who shrugged.

"I figured dude. Take your time," she said.

"Yes. So Dipper, "William looked back to the teen, "what decision did you come to?"

Dipper sighed and held the journal in his hands. Gritting his teeth at first, Dipper nodded and said, "I'll trade my prized journal of the Mysteries of Gravity Falls for-"

"Dipper, no dude!" Wendy stood up. William jumped and stepped away, staring at her. "That's your prized thing!"

"Yeah, it is," Dipper told her, "and that's why I'm trading it."

"It's not worth it," Wendy repeated.

"Yes, it is," Dipper told her with a firm grasp on his words that she couldn't deny. With only the sliver of resistance in her look to him, Wendy sat back down shaking her head.

"You shouldn't have to-"

"But I will," Dipper cut her off. He turned back and extended the journal to William. "Sir, here's my deal." William nodded and took the journal from Dipper. The moment that Dipper felt the journal leave his hands, he felt a small, hard object in his hands. He looked down, and small pearl of blue and shimmering gold had appeared.

"There you are, my friend, "William told Dipper as he turned and put the journal onto his seat.

Dipper sighed and looked to the journal. This was it now. He had that cure that they needed. Wendy would finally be able to rest and eat and sleep. Dipper faced her and held open his hand.

"This is it," he told her, "the cure." Wendy said nothing. She only stood slowly, and walked over. Dipper gulped, "I... when this is over, we should go to Greasy's and just eat everything on the menu."

Wendy smiled, her lip giving a momentary tremble. "That sounds freakin' awesome, dude."

Taking her hand in his, he lowered the pearl into her hand. She seemed to feel the weight in her palm, and then she gasped, a tear falling down her cheek. Dipper wanted the cheer. They had it. Wendy then raised her hand and-

"What are you doing!?"

William rushed over and snatched the pearl from her hand.

"HEY!" the two roared at William, who held the pill in his hands, hiding it from them.

"What gives, dude!?" Wendy roared.

"Yeah!" Dipper shouted, "we have a deal, Cardinal!"

With a sad look to the two of them, William Cardinal shook his head, and held the pill in his hand. It lifted but an inch into the air, and then faded from existence with a small pop. As the two before him gasped, William turned and lifted the journal with his hands, and directed it back to Dipper.

"You should have told me," William drearily said to Dipper.

"Told you what?" Dipper asked, hesitant to take back the journal if he knew it meant not getting Wendy happy again.

"That the Panacea was for her," William shook his head.

"Why are you going back on Dipper's deal!?" Wendy roared, stepping into his face, "It's just because I'm some scary undead!?"

"That's not right," Dipper added at William, who cringed.

"I... what you have, Wendy," William extended a hand to her shoulder, which she quickly shrugged off, "is not something I can cure."

"What?!" the two gasped.

"Djinn are created only so powerful, " William explained, "most of our wishes have some limitation, sure- but all Djinn have three things they can't do."

"And helping me is one of them!?" Wendy asked, her throat tightening. Willing sighed and shook his head more.

"No, no, no, that's not it at all," he said, his voice wracked with guilt, "we... we cannot make two fall in love, we cannot kill, and we cannot raise the dead back to the living, in any sense."

"Then... but Wendy is technically alive!" Dipper told him, "she's moving! Animated! She can think and want and do anything she wants!"

"She is a wraith," William told him, "and cursed to an unliving life. She is more life-like now, but... No, Dipper," William stared to Wendy and then to him, "she is among the dead. I can sense them before I even see them, and I tell you- she is a dead."

"But... your cure-"

"Cure's people from diseases and ailments," William repeated, "but nothing I make can revive the dead."

Wendy clearly had enough. She whipped around, he long hair blazing behind her as she marched out the curtains and down the stairs. Dipper, with a moment of anger blazing inside his heart, turned to him, and ripped his journal out of his hands, and marched away.

"Dipper, beware," William said, but Dipper never looked back, "the curse of the wraith is one to be feared. Only one has ever truly conquered it."

Dipper marched down the steps and found himself alone. Wendy was rushing to her bike, near the parking lot.

"Wendy!" he called.

A pause in her steps, she turned slowly, seeming to refuse to look at him. As he approached though, he caught her arm gently in his hand, and she looked to him. She was crying more than Dipper thought Wendy was capable of. Tears streamed freely down her face, but her eyes were blank, along with her face.

"I just almost remember what food tasted like back there," she told him, "what it felt like... not being hungry."

Her voice was so empty, it felt more hollow than anything Dipper had heard from the most jaded of people he had ever met in his life. It crushed him. She was so broken, those usually strong, green eyes wavering in their power over her fate.

He couldn't accept that as a reality. There was not a single fiber in his being that would allow someone as perfect as her to be so crushed and lost. It angered him. Made his blood pump and his brain crackle with an energy he hadn't felt in a long time.

True rebellion against fate.

"No," Dipper said, and marched towards his car, "we're not out yet," Dipper told her.

"Huh?" she asked, spinning to keep up with him. He got in his car with speed, and then Wendy paused. "Wait dude, you're not talking about-"

"I'm going to negotiate the terms of the deal," he told her and closed the door.

Driving away from a stunned and fearful Wendy, standing in the parking lot, Dipper wasted no time getting back to the Manor. He had to prepare the ritual. More importantly, he had to be uninterrupted when doing so. He could already hear the protests the others would have for doing this- but he couldn't let this chance slip his fingers.

Not at least without looking a bit deeper.

"C'mon, c'mon," he told the wheel of his car, turning up the gravel path to the building in the woods. There would be a threshold at some point- he could feel a point of no return creeping on him.

The car wasn't even turned off when he stopped at the Mystery Manor. Put in park and left there to wait for his return, Dipper rushed inside, passing Soos and Mabel, who both called him over. Their words were water against the windshield of his mind, not remotely mattering as long as they didn't totally block his passage.

He turned for the stairs, hearing a more concerned call behind him. It belonged to Mabel, and that boded bad for his plan. She was more intuitive than anyone with his silent plans, and the fact she kept calling him made him worry. He would need to be quick. Otherwise, she could ruin his chance to speak with him one last time.

Dipper made it to their room, and locked the door behind him. Mabel's voice was right behind him as he began to gather the candles and small box of matches in a cabinet.

The door was pounded on loudly as he set the candles up, reciting the incantation under his breath. He wasn't going to be summon Bill, but sending himself to him. He didn't want any chances in missing his opportunity.

The voices by the door grew louder. More had come to stop Dipper it seemed, but he knew what he was doing.

He sat down, surrounded by seven candles, quickly reciting the same passage again and again.

With the practice from Arline's training, Dipper began to let his mind fall away, freeing itself from the conscious while still perfectly awake.

Pounding on the door grew even louder.

Then he felt it happen.

He fell through himself, and into then starry abyss.

Just as before, Dipper fell through stars and galaxies, and came to a small platform. Awaiting him while resting on a sun chair was Bill, who seemed to be sipping into a straw that pointed just under his eye.

"Ah! So you did come back!" Bill said, snapping his finger to vanish away the drink of water and chair. He floated up and leaned on his cane as he looked to Dipper. "So, how'd it go with the genie?"

"You knew?" Dipper asked.

Bill laughed, "Kid, just because I get locked into a inter-dimensional prison that is essentially torture to any creature, living or otherwise," Bill added with a leer to Dipper, "doesn't mean I stop hearing things. I see lots of things, Dipper. Lots. Of. Things."

"Y-you knew I'd try curing Wendy!"

"Yup!"

"And you knew it wouldn't work!" Dipper shouted.

"Also yup!"

"You- you-"

"Ohhh, c'mon Pine Tree! Hit me with your best!" Cipher egged him on, "I love the chaos of a good shouting match! Wanna bet one a winner? Oh! OH! _I know! The one who doesn't have lungs_!" Bill told Dipper.

Dipper scowled and clutched his hands tightly. There wasn't anything more infuriating than Bill when he knew more about something than you, effectively making him the most annoying thing Dipper had ever met. There was little to reason with him, and worse was when he knew it all.

"So, Pine tree," Bill continued, hovering closer, "let's cut to the juicy part. You're back, and what's more, you're considering the deal. Good. Let's make it happen," Bill said, and extended his arm.

Dipper looked to the hand. That same hand had screwed him over on multiple occasion. Dipper looked up to the eye. He wouldn't allow his desperation to play him into a bad situation.

"Wendy," Dipper stated.

"Yes, red," Bill added.

"When you cure her, she'll... go back to normal?" Dipper clarified.

"Yeah, yeah, right back to eighteen years old, as she should be, the little tyke, "Bill confirmed.

Dipper continued. "She wont die the instant because of malnurisment and lack of sleep, will she?" he asked. Bill's hand slightly lowered, but Dipper grinned at the sign. "Ah. No deal then-"

"Okay, okay, she'll be all fine- won't die the instant she's back to standard health," Bill added. "None of those dumb human things."

"Yeah? What about hormone bursts?" Dipper added. Bill gasps, and lowered his hand entirely. "I thought so. Bone malformations due to skeletal developments, sudden cysts due to cellular growth, brain-"

"ALRIGHT!" Bill roared, clapping his hands next to his top hat angrily, "Yes! Yes! Fine! She will be _exactly_ the way she _should_ be, if she never had the curse at all!"

Dipper paused, his lips pursed. "Healthy as she should be? Healthy as she _could_ be."

Bill groaned. "Oh c'mon-"

"Or no deal," Dipper told Bill.

Bill grumbled and spun around. "You!" Bill pointed to Dipper, "you've been making deals with others, haven't you? What kind of nefarious training have you undergone to become such a shred negotiator?"

"It's part of dealing with you," Dipper told him. Bill scoffed.

"Whatever. FINE!" he roared, "Yes! Yes! Yes! Wendy Dumbface Corduroy will be perfectly healthy and restored to the age she should be. Deal!?" Bill whipped out the hand again.

Dipper looked to it as he had before. That hand which had tore out his soul and spirit from his body and possessed it for him, the hand which had nearly caused the end of the world, the hand that could snap it's fingers and cause the sweetest dream to become the worst nightmare...

That hand was the same kind that could revive Wendy to the way she should be.

Dipper moved forward. It was worth it. He would lave town with Mabel, as part of the deal, and warm everyone to leave as soon as they could. Wendy would be allowed to live her life again...

And he would probably never see her again.

As his hand stretched out, Dipper spotted something. The blue fire associated with the sealing of a deal wasn't present. Dipper stared at the demon hand, and then to Bill.

"Do we have a deal?" Bill repeated.

Dipper scowled and then slapped the hand away.

Bill stared. "W-what?" Bill asked.

"I don't know what you're playing at, Bill," Dipper told him, "but I can smell something's up. You've got something planned. And you... you want me out of the way for it!" Dipper shouted at him, "so forget it! Deal's off!" Bill began to shake and tremble, his golden temperament shivering into crimson. "And you know what?! Same for any deal in the future!"

"WHAT!?" Bill roared, his form shattering and instantly glowing red.

"I'll never accept a deal from you again in my life. You can just leave me and my sister alone, forever," he told Bill with fury.

"PINE TREE!" Bill raged, floating above Dipper now. "YOU... YOU!"

Just as quickly the fury and anger began, it vanished. Bill returned to normal size and color and zoomed up into Dipper's face.

"This isn't over, kid," Bill told him, "You think that 'oh, I tricked good 'ol mister Cipher' means that you've beaten me? Kid, I warned you what will happen in the future. Things have been set in motion, and now what I showed you _will_ happen."

"The future can change," Dipper told Cipher.

"The future _is_ change, idiot," Bill snapped at Dipper, "so don't go thinking that you can avoid the punishment you've brought to yourself by ignoring my offer. This isn't over, Pine Tree," Bill said, and floated upwards, a large circle appearing above him. Dipper gasped- unlike last time, there were fewer strange icons laid into it's sides. Only an axe with a broken handle, two hands with thick wrappings on them, and a skull with a single eye remained. The spaces once filled with other icons had vanished.

"Remember kid, Reality is a-"

"DIPPER!"

Dipper opened his eyes as the door was kicked down. Wendy stepped in first, delivering the kick that snapped open the locked door. Rushing inside first though was Mabel. Before Dipper could say a thing, she ran over, grasped him by the collar of his vest, and lifted him up.

She glared into his eyes, staring deeply. Dipper blinked and sighed. "He's not here," Dipper told her.

"You- you idiot!" Mabel told him, settling him down to the floor on his feet, "what could have happened if it hadn't gone to plan? You could have been a walking puppet again!"

"I know," Dipper shrugged.

At the door, Stan walked by, and checked the status of the door. "Hm. Well, that's another chore for Yuki." And he walked by Wendy.

"What were you thinking?!" Mabel asked, still holding onto his collar," you could have... you could have..."

"I'm sorry," Dipper said, putting his hands on Mabel's shoulders, "but the Djinn's pill can't-"

"I know," Mabel nodded, her head fallen and looking to the floor, "Wendy told me. It's stupid," Mabel looked back up, shaking her head. "I could have lost you again."

Dipper nodded.

Wendy stepped in. "You... didn't make a deal with it, did you?" Dipper stared to her, his eyes shimmering with emotion. What could he say to her? In the end, he chose the truth. He merely shook his head. Wendy nodded and leaned against the door, her tired eyes even more evident.

"I'll be outside," Dipper said suddenly, excusing himself from the two.

Down the stairs and away from the shop, Dipper stepped from the others. Wendy and Mabel left behind, Dipper turned to the left and down the hallway that lead to the side entrance.

At the steps, Dipper sat, feeling the weight of his promise crashing down on him as much as his attempts had.

Two deals, and neither completed. Wendy was still cursed, and Dipper still had a promise to complete. With the light of the dying sun, dipper lifted up the journal. Was it really worth keeping now? He stared at what it was, what it meant to him. So much, and yet only as a grim reminder to what he had lost.

The door opened behind him, and out stepped Wendy. Before he could speak, she sat next to him and sighed.

"Wendy?" Dipper asked quietly.

"It's okay dude," She admitted with her own nod, "In the end, I probably would have just smacked you a bunch had you made any deal with Cipher."

"But-"

"We'll figure this out somehow," Wendy told him, nudging his arm with her elbow, "we're great at improvising new things."

Dipper looked to her, the very real desire of grasping her chin and feeling her skin surging through his mind. He tamed the urge and looked away. Even with all that he had failed to accomplish, she had faith in him.

As long as she did, Dipper was certain he could do anything.

* * *

One update a little early, one a little late. Eesh. That's the life for ya!

And there you have it! Bill's return over and gone before we knew it. Wonder what he's up to. Something seemed off about him, didn't it? Hmm... who knows.

And alas, the Wendy curse still goes on. Try as we might, we're still looking for that cure. But maybe Dipper will find it. But to be frank, next episode, he'll be finding out some other things. Some... bad, and sad, things. So get ready- the big hunt for the warlock is about to begin.

And for those of you who didn't get who William Cardinal is supposed to represent, take a guess at what Disney Movie as a Genie in it. Now, find the actor who played it. :p Ya sillies.

Also- I'm off next week! Sorry guys, I'm heading to a place with no internet, so that's not really a thing I can help. :p BUT! But... to make up for it, next MONDAY I will have the chapter poster around midday. So remember- not update next sunday, but instead monday.

Seey- (EZB is swallowed into Quicksand.)

Quicksand: Burp.

* * *

"Hello?"

Yuki opened the front door to the seemingly abandoned warehouse. Lights were dim, and the orange glow of the setting sun cast it's rays into the building.

He pressed inside, his eyes skimming the boxes around him. They had old, dusty labels of a child with pudgy cheeks, saying strange things like 'Widdle' and winking a lot. Yuki even spotted a doll on the floor ahead of him, out of place from the rubbish around him.

"What is this?" Yuki muttered to himself as he lifted the doll with tall, white hair to his face.

"Uki-Dohth," a voice called to him.

Yuki whipped his head to a corner of the building and stood up. There a figure approached, walking through the shadows. Yuki stared and gasped.

"I'm g-glad you saw the ad," the Warlock said with a grin as he stepped into the light. "I think we have a lot t-to t-talk about. I have... a d-deal to make with you."

* * *

(Vigenere)

**Kv ewmawj xhq tuvek ax uvelulb, ks wtafy le tsv siez drtoep. Okvr ttw ozkhf hrlvs rjrd xhq zrci tag eimgtl wf onao, kv whmdo iitgjq; minswdege uf wfa.**


	51. After the Shadows: Part 1

Some say the worse fate is the one you see coming from a distance and can do nothing to alter it. The kinds of fate where you wonder, 'Did I put myself into this?' or 'What could have been done to change this?' and you end up coming to the same conclusion: Nothing.

Dipper Pines was among those who disagreed with that picture.

Fate was a joke to him. It was a made-up term coined by people too afraid to challenge powers stronger than them. If you could see, predict, and anticipate something, you could change it. This was science- the ability to detect the world and understand it.

Only, he wasn't looking into a chemistry book. He was looking into a page on spells in the Third Journal.

Almost a month had passed since Dipper made his promise to Wendy. He was no closer to getting the answer. The middle of July was a stark testament to his failure, and it drove him only harder.

Magical theory was now his next big test. Rather than looking for direct answers from counter-curses and restorative spells, which all told him that curing Wendy couldn't be done, he started to ponder the theory of magic- what it was. What is Magic?

Dipper found a few articles from his long-gone Grand Uncle Stanford on the matter interesting. Magic_ is the manifestation of a type of energy I will hence refer to as 'Arcana' until I can properly assert it into the electromagnetic spectrum. _Dipper found more notes on the matter regarding the creation of spells. _While incantations are required to channel this strange energy into a highly organized form, the limits of what can be done are difficult to pinpoint. As it would seem, Arcana has a direct correlation between focus and concentration to effect and control of a spell. This makes Arcana and, naturally, magic, an indescribably dangerous and unstable source of power._

That wasn't enough to deter him from trying. A few of the nights when he was certain only he, and Yuki and Wendy, were up, he would creep into the storage room at the end of the hallway upstairs, and begin to practice spell-creation. So far, it had been good progress. He had, after nights of failure, made his first solid glass cup and entirely pure water to go with it.

Baby steps in a long wait for curing a horrible curse. After all, if he could do one thing he was sure science labeled as impossible, what was to stop him from helping Wendy?

During this entire time, he was relentless training with Mabel and Arline. The two ladies were powerful and dedicated to their form. Mabel was becoming a thing of terror, in her own light. Her boundless energy coupled with her tactics of striking again and again until you were disabled made her a monster Dipper was almost certain could be entered into his own Journal.

Meanwhile, he was certainly improving. Sure, he couldn't claim to warp fire, or whatever Mabel was trying to do, but his skill and uncanny ability to tactically and rapidly chose how to fight someone made him actually something fierce. The downside? It made him dead tired.

After a long night of trying to learn a counter-spell against darkness- something Dipper was certain could lead into the making of a cure for Wendy- his fighting on the next day was desperate and flawed. Swearing under his breath again and again. Dipper finally gave in for the day.

"Dipper, what's up?" Arline asked as he finally just laid back and panted.

"Ti...ti...tired," he gasped as he shook his head, his brown hair tangling with grass below him. The martial artist looked to him and nodded.

"You can't fool me with that. You're beat," she said.

"Maybe you should stop sneaking out at night to do stuff and actually sleep?" Mabel called from her seat by the porch, where Waddles sat next to her. Arline gasped as Dipper growled.

"That would do it," Arline scolded Dipper as her stood up and dusted himself off shakily, "you need sleep bud."

"I've got too much to do to sleep," Dipper growled.

"You're going to end up killing yourself if you don't rest," Arline said. Dipper shrugged- he didn't have the energy to defend his reasoning for doing what he did. When he said nothing, Arline sighed and waved Mabel over. "Well, let's work on you then."

"Alrighty! Fire-time with the Mabel- Queen of Punches!" Mabel declared as she leapt off the porch and marched on over. Arline had turned to place her gauntlets on, fastening them to her arms.

"Here we go again," Dipper mumbled as he sat next to Waddles and pondered more. He was certain that if he could explain the nature of a curse, down to its roots, he could discover how to disassemble one. He wanted to tell Wendy, give her hope. Yet after the fiasco a week ago with the Djinn, Dipper wasn't feeling for it. He wouldn't give her false hope again.

Arline whipped her hands across one another, casting sparks and a small ball of fire spun in her palm.

"I never get tired of seeing that!" Mabel grinned.

"Me neither," Arline chuckled. "Ready?"

"As a Mabel can be without drinking a 'Ready-Potion'! Which, by the way, make you willing to do almost anything," Mabel added after she received a confused glance from her master.

"Which sounds exactly like me. I should sue someone for making a vial of my blood," a voice called from the trail leading to the building. Mabel and Arline turned as Dipper looked up.

"Zander!" Mabel gasped and grinned.

"Heyo!" the rock star laughed and waved as he marched over, still wearing his signature scarf and smile. "Whoa," he stalled as he saw Arline glare at him, holding her balls of fire in her hands, "looks like I'm interrupting something intense."

"Yeah-" Arline started.

"No, no!" Mabel said for her master, who shot a look to Mabel of disapproval. "Just practicing, you know, learning how to bend fire using nothing more than your will and your body as fire-resistant material."

"Ah. Sounds fun!" Zander grinned as he stepped over. Arline stepped up before him, cutting his advance short.

"What'd you want, exactly?" she asked him, examining him closely.

"Nothing!" he assured her, his hands raised in surrender. "I was bored today. Had a few days off, and decided to see what you goofs were up to."

"I'm sure," Arline said quietly, and turned away from him, marching next to Dipper.

"Uh, yeah," Zander looked to Mabel, his smile faltering a little bit. Mabel also looked to Arline, who dared a glance back at the master of metal. "Did I say something?" Zander asked Mabel.

"She's been training me really hard, but progress is a-" Mabel put both her thumbs down and blew a raspberry, "Maybe she's tired too." Behind Arline and Dipper, another tired figure stepped out. "Speaking of tired," Mabel called, catching the attention of Yuki, "Hey buddy! Look who's visiting!" she waved to Yuki, who grinned at Zander.

Dipper turned his head around and stared at Yuki. Bags had formed under his eyes. He looked sick again, but showed no other symptoms. "Yuki, you okay?" Dipper asked. Yuki shrugged.

"Just some bad dreams, nothing, uh, bad, I assure you," Yuki said to Dipper after a yawn.

"Nothing involving a yellow triangle with one eye and a top hat, right!?" Dipper snapped at him. Yuki blinked and slowly shook his head. "Well... if you do, you tell us. Those aren't the dreams you keep to yourself," Dipper informed him.

"I will take that to heart, my friend," Yuki blinked and nodded with a faint smile.

"Yuki!" Come outside as well, Grunkle Stan also emerged, "what're you doing?"

"A small break. I need some air, that's all," Yuki shrugged.

"Well, count the seconds: you can have five minutes. Not my fault you-" Stan glanced to his side and spotted Zander with Mabel. "OH!" he darted out from the doorway, nearly running over Arline and Dipper, "Mister Maximillion!" he roared, and ran to him, attempting to vigorously shake his hand, "glad you could stop by!"

"Thanks! I was bored today. Figure I could stop by and see what spicy things are happening in the coolest place on earth," Zander said. Stan had a tear fall from his eye.

"You don't mind if I write that down and put it on all my billboards, do you? And Quote that?" Grunkle Stan asked.

"Nah. Just as long as you keep using my investment to keep that building nice and fresh," Zander patted Grunkle Stan's shoulder, pointing to his Manor with the other hand.

Grunkle Stan was half a second from responding when Soos literally butted his way in, nearly knock Stan aside and prone on the ground. "Wow, it's soo great to have you here again!" Soos told Zander as _he_ now started vigorously shaking Zander's hand, "Maybe I can give you a tour? I'd be for free!"

"SOOS!" Stan growled.

"Oh right. Actually, uh, twenty bucks," Soos shrugged. Stan put a hand to his face and growled.

"Oh, uh, I actually don't carry standard dollar bills on me," Zander sheepishly admitted, holding out two fifty dollar bills, "mind if I just tip extra?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Stan leapt over, knocked Soos aside, and snatched the hundred dollars away. "When do you want that tour?"

"Wait!" Mabel pushed her way in between the two, shoving them aside. As she did, she turned to Zander's jacket and began to pat it back down, "ah, there, no wrinkles," she muttered. Only after finishing the wrinkles, she shouted, "WE TOTALLY NEED TO DO A BIG FAMILY PICTURE!"

"Ah, what?" Stan grumbled.

"Oh! Great idea!" Soos nodded as he picked himself up from the ground. "Wendy! Get out here! We're doing a big 'ol picture!"

"Can we not?" Stan grumbled, "I look hideous in my old age."

"Hey, don't fret," Zander nudged Stan, "as far as we're concerned, you don't look a day over seventy."

"I'm sixty eight," Stan said.

"C'mon Dipper!" Mabel rushed over and pulled Dipper to his feet. She then leapt up and pulled over Yuki as well, while lifting up Waddles. "You too!" she told Yuki, who stumbled off but kept his stability.

"Okay, okay," he grinned and walked over, "this... this is the first time I'll be in a human picture," he admitted.

"Probably the first of a ton. I mean, you'll live for, what, eight hundred years?" Dipper asked.

"I think it's more like seven hundred fifty earth years on average, but yes, a long time," Yuki sighed.

"What's going on?" Wendy called as she too strode out, her long hair instantly catching Dipper's attention.

"Group picture, dude!" Mabel cheered and rushed ahead, swaying Waddles back and forth in her arms.

"Oh, yeah!" Wendy smiled. "Cool, alright, Zander's here too?" she asked Dipper as Zander spoke to Stanley, "Dipper?" she asked when Dipper stared at her a little too long.

"Sorry," Dipper said as he turned away. "Lost in thought."

Wendy grinned devilishly. "I wonder what about," she said, and walked past him with a wink. Dipper flushed a deep red, worried that was riddled with deeper intent. Heat in his cheeks, Dipper jumped the moment Arline passed him, standing up and striding over to the gathered group.

She teased him. Wendy had teased him.

Dipper shook his head quickly, trying to remove the effects from him as quickly as he could. Stepping quietly with a small grin on his face, Dipper stepped next to his Grunkle as the order of picture began to be set up.

"Over here!" Mabel, who had been given a camera by Zander, moved the crowd over to the woods. There, just in the grass, they found their spot. "Wendy, totally sit by the tree stump there. Yeah," Mabel nodded as Wendy too her cue and sat down, "Perfect!" Mabel congratulated her.

"Just as I do best. Sitting down," Wendy grinned as she leaned back.

"Soos-" Mabel turned to Soos, who stood as between Wendy and Stan and Dipper. "Ahh... actually, just stay there."

"Righto," Soos grinned.

"We're going to be there," Mabel pointed to where Stan scratched his rear and Dipper glanced at Wendy with his smile. "Uh... master- oh! You could look awesome by that tree there!" Arline, passing by Zander with a scanning glance, nodded and leaned against her tree. "Hmm... Yuki... go between Soos and Dipper, okay?" Mabel asked. Yuki nodded, and quickly stepped over. "Okay. I'll just have Dipper take one with me, and then I'll take one with Dipper, and we can-"

Distracting the group from the coming photo, the crunching scratches of pebbles against tire pulled them away. A car had come up next to them and parked. Black with dark windows, the eight paused and stared. Then, out from the driver door stepped an old man with dark skin and a bald head.

"Wait, that's-" Dipper gasped, pointing at the old man who stepped towards them, rubbing his hands together.

"Ah. Please," he said, his deep voice vibrating the air itself, "I don't want to interrupt. It looks like a wonderful picture," he grinned to Mabel.

"Yeah, almost done," Mabel smiled quickly back to him. "Okay, and Zander?" she called. Zander was staring at the newcomer in the suit. After a second, Mabel tried again with volume. "Zander?" Mabel called again, and Zander flinched, looking back to her, his smile gone and a vacant expression on his face, "Uh, just chill there and that'll be a great spot for you."

"S-sure," Zander nodded.

"Oh, " the old man stepped up to Mabel, "I can take the picture. Go be with your family."

"Well, thanks!" Mabel told the old man. There was an unease as Mabel hopped back over to Dipper and Stan. The entire group stared at the old man with the too-expensive suit. His bow-tie was lined with thin gold and perfectly centered under his chin. Slowly Stan leant closer to the twins.

"Who is this guy?" he asked.

"Thats-" Dipper started quietly.

"Is everyone ready?" Omir Steindorf said with a smile, holding up the camera. "And... smile!" he called. Everyone grinned their best as the flash was taken.

"YES!" Mabel bounded forward and snatched the camera from the old man, bending over to examine the picture. "Ah! It's PERFECT!"

"So, uh, who are you exactly?" Stan asked as he stepped up, examining the old man.

"Grunkle Stan, this is Omir Steindorf," Dipper explained as he indicated to the old man. Stan frowned and looked up. With a slowly dawning realization who he was standing before, and the enormous power the man held behind him, Stan's eyes slowly began to expand and he gasped.

"It's alright, Mister Pines. You are Mister Pines, yes?" Omir extended his hand to Stanley, which was taken shakily. All Grunkle Stan could do was making horrible choking sounds as he gasped for words. "Ah, and you must be the lucky mother of the twins?" he said as he turned to Arline.

Her gaze darkened considerably, but she forced a few small laughs, "Haha, no. I'm only twenty eight. My name is Arline."

"Oh. You're not related to these two?" Mister Steindorf asked as he examined her. "Hm. You have a high resemblance. Forgive an old man for assuming," he grinned sheepishly and turned. The moment he turned, Arline's smile dropped into a scowl and she looked away. "Ah," Mister Steindorf said aloud, "and I was wondering when I would run into you."

Zander's head whipped instantly around, looking right at Omir. His eyes were wide as Omir Steindorf reached over and extended his hand.

"A pleasure to meet you, Mister Maximillion."

Zander's fearful expression vanished like evaporating air. His smile returned in an instant, and he ignored the handshake and instantly hugged him. "Nah! No handshakes here! I'm more of a hugger anyway!" Zander said after releasing the man.

"Well, I can tell," Omir adjusted his tie after Zander let go. "Not much of a handshaker, Mister Maximillion?"

"Nah. Too formal for me," Zander shrugged.

"A shame. I can tell everything about a man or woman just from the way they shake hands," Omir said proudly, "I would much rather like to know you."

"Hah, that's cool," Zander smiled toothily.

"So!" Stan whipped between the millionaire and billionaire, "gentlemen! how about I provide you two the tour of your LIFE here at the mystery Manor! Or- or better yet!" Stan stood before them, "a once-in-a-lifetime subscription to our own personal magazine 'Freak Weekly!' It'll be your one-stop read for anything paranormal and spooky!"

"We run a magazine?" Wendy asked from her tree stump.

"We do now," Stan told her with a deadly glare, which then he turned back to the rich men and added, "and it can be yours for only a mere one-hundred grand a year!"

"Wow!" Zander smiled, "that sounds awesome!"

Despite Zander's excitement, Omir seemed less than thrilled with the idea. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. Turning away, he faced the twins. "I'm here to speak with the twins. Might I have a moment with them?" he asked aloud.

Silence followed his words. What kindness he had stored in his voice before had all but been used up or evacuated with Stan's attempt to siphon more money.

"Uh, I'm sure you can tell us here?" Dipper said cautiously. "We're not really into keeping secrets from one another here."

"Yeah!" Mabel said as she grabbed Yuki's and Dipper's shoulder and pulled them together, "one, big, happy, lie-free family!" she declared as Yuki's face went a dark shade of crimson.

"Very well," Omir stepped closer to the twins and cleared his throat, "I want your help in locating and capturing the fugitive Graupner Kinley."

"What?" Stan barked, staring to walk closer.

"The police in the region," Steindorf started aloud as he let Stan come closer, "have been less than inadequate in terms of their performing ability towards the task at hand. I see a potential locked away under this town," Steindorf said proudly, "one I am not willing to see thrown away. But this man- Kinley- has been a wreck in my financial efforts to put this town on the map! All I need is a chance to lock him up and ship him elsewhere."

"You're... coming to us?" Mabel asked, her eyes growing wide with astonishment, "Dipper!" she said, grabbing his arm, "that means we're important! Important people look to us for help! GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!" she roared and ran off, triumphantly hollering. Dipper frowned at his sister's behavior, but spoke to the rich man.

"Why us?" he asked. "There are other people in-"

"You and your sister, and with your friends," Omir quickly explained, "are the only ones I've yet seen pose a threat to him. He's clearly made attempts at you and your lives. When I say I've come for the experts in getting in this man's way, I expected nothing less than that. I want your guidance."

"Well..." Dipper had to say yes. There was a man of power and wealth, begging Dipper and his sister to help _him_ root out their newest enemy. The amount of influence they could get if they played this smart was enough to be tempting. "We're in."

"Same," Wendy said, standing up from her log.

"Yeah dude," Soos agreed, "going to put an end to this bad dude once and for all."

"No."

Omir Steindorf turned and put his hand up strongly to Wendy and Soos. Their readied efforts instantly left them as the dark eyes of Omir Steindorf commanded them to remain still.

"This is a small operation. I merely want the twins and I to journey together. I cab hardly say I know anyone else here, aside from Mister Maximillion," Omir admitted, and Zander shrugged, "and I won't risk this mission to anyone who may..." he looked to Yuki, and the Alien quickly looked away, "endanger this chance."

"Then I'll come," Zander shrugged.

"Yeah, you do that," Stan shrugged, "at least someone who I semi- trust will be on this."

"Wait," Arline stepped up to Omir, staring up at the tall man, "I've trained Mabel. I'm her teacher and master of martial arts. She can vouch for me as a trustworthy person. Take me."

"It is not a matter of her vouching for you," Omir coldly stated, "It is a matter of me knowing your past. Ever since I saw their acts of valor in the business con in June, I've done my research on the Pines Family. I know a lot about what the twins have done for this town," Omir turned and smiled at the twins, "and what kind of acts of fraudulence Mister Pines has committed," he glanced to Stan.

"Okay, we're cancelling 'Freaks Weekly'," Stan grunted.

"But I know nothing about you," The CEO stepped closer to Arline, who stood her ground. "For all I know, you could work with a competitor of mine. Or at least," he added as Arline wrinkled her knows in shock and disgust, "have reason to attack me."

"You're kidding, right!?" she demanded.

"I'm not," Omir stated.

"She's trustworthy," Mabel coined in, "I mean, she's never said anything about the Stiendorf Company."

"You're going to let _him_," she pointed to Zander, who looked rapidly between Omir and her, "come along, but not _me_? I'm the woman who chased off the spider from the Northwest Fiasco from crying out loud!"

"Only because I know of Zander Maximillion. I know of his past and his habits," Omir admitted, and Zander frowned and shuddered. "I can't risk bringing an unknown equation to this search."

Arline looked more furious than she had ever in her entire stay at Gravity Falls. Her eyes shook as she funneled that rage away, glaring down the taller man. Finally, she marched right into Zander's face, and pointed a finger at him from inches away.

"You do a good job, or else," she told him. Zander nodded, and Arline stormed past him.

"Mister Steindorf," Dipper pleaded, "she's been the best help we could have asked for."

"I stand by my decision," Omir stated, "I don't know her. For all I know, she could have ulterior motives."

"That's not really her... well, we might as well go," Dipper shrugged.

"Yeah," Mabel said as she turned over and spied her Master sitting with Waddles, sadly patting his head by the porch, "we've got work to do."

"Excellent. Come along now, Mister Maximillion," Steindorf said, and Zander glanced at the twins with a shrug. Clearly, he was out of his comfort zone with the idea of suits being around him.

To say that Omir Steindorf's personal car was comfy was a horribly vast understatement. When Dipper said he was certain his seats were made of leather, after this ride he understood how far off his guess had been. The interior of the car was sharp and organized, and smelled clean. Shining silver lines along the seats awed Mabel enough to play with them over and over. As the car neared the center of town, Mabel scared herself stiff when she accidentally tore off a section of the silver lining. Omir seemed not to hear, and despite Dipper's deathly glare, she ended up calming down and leaving the car nearly like a normal person.

"Hm, here we go," Zander stepped out with the others, rubbing his hands together as he looked around. Standing at the same height as Steindorf, he turned to the twins, "So! Where to?"

"Yes. I'm certain you two have a lead the police in town did not," Omir added.

"Well, I don't know about that," Dipper chuckled.

"No, no, don't support their failures," Omir shook his head, "they really are just... the worst. You could have a guess and it'd be better than what they've been doing all Summer."

"Oh. Well," Dipper glanced around.

Where to go? There were many places Dipper knew could serve as an operational hide-out for someone while disguised as something entirely innocent. That being said, Dipper couldn't start making hunches. He needed something solid. There had to be one of the places still around that could serve as a hide out.

"Mabel," Dipper grinned as he quickly identified a location that the Warlock could have been using all this time, "Want to check out a book?"

"Ohhh, yes! Of course!" Mabel grinned and nodded.

"I don't follow," Zander said as he looked at the Library while the twins marched ahead.

"They think the Library could hold a key in solving this, or that the building itself could be a location Mister Kinley could be hiding at. I have my doubts," Omir Steindorf muttered, "it is rather... public."

"Aside from his attack on the convention center," Dipper said once the four crossed the street, "The warlock-"

"The warlock?" Omir interrupted.

"That's what he calls himself," Dipper shrugged. Omir scowled and looked ahead, towards the Library, "anyway. Before his stunt at the convention, he never really got at people in person. He was always sending something our way. He likes playing in the shadows."

"I can tell," Omir stated.

"And what's worse," Mabel added as they made it to the front door, "there's maybe two of them."

Omir stalled, and gasped. He looked to Mabel and Dipper. Zander also stopped, and stared at Omir. "Beg pardon?" he asked, his wrinkled face looking much more tired.

"We think that someone else has been helping the Warlock," Dipper stated as he held open the door.

Closing his eyes only for a moment, Omir Steindorf groaned and walked inside quickly. Mabel followed Zander inside.

"Tell me what you know," Omir said once they passed by the distracted Miss Isoar, the library with very thick glasses and raven black hair. "Everything," Omir asked as he quieted his voice.

"He's after something," Dipper admitted, "something he's been willing to kill people for. Aside from that, he's-"

"A huge snot-faced Jerk," Mabel finished for Dipper. Omir Snorted, but straightened his face.

"So, where do we look?" he turned to the twins.

"Yeah," Zander stated as he looked around, "I mean... it's just a library."

"You'd think that," Dipper chuckled as he grinned devilishly. "Follow me. I'll show you guys a little secret Mabel and I uncovered a while back."

With a cackling Mabel behind him, Dipper lead the two older men to the one bookshelf in the back. 'New Releases' proudly told them of the various new books that had only just been added to the story. All, except one that Dipper and Mabel quickly noticed. Mabel smiled and lifted her fingers to 'Standard Dusting Procedures', and lifted it off the shelf. Instantly, the clock-work like clicking began.

"And... voilà!" Mabel said as she placed the book back where she got it from.

Zander gasped and stepped closer as the bookshelf. It sunk into the wall, and then descended into the ground. Omir Steindorf wore a shocked expression on his face as he and Zander stared into the open, barren, stone and dirt tunnel. The only change between the last time the twins had come and the present was the lack of functioning lights.

"...How did you-" Omir started.

"We found were Montana Jeffreys had been staying," Mabel proudly informed them, grinning and wiggling her eyebrows, "and then had a dramatic chase scene out of the tunnels! Almost crushed under the weight of the earth, the usual. Fun times, really," Mabel shrugged as Dipper lead the way inside, holding his cellphone out as a light source.

"This would make an excellent location for a secret base," Dipper reasoned as he let the other step inside him with. The Bookshelf finally slid back up behind them, and they were all enveloped by the darkness. Slowly down the four walked, their scratchy footsteps echoing loudly.

"Uh, I must insist we be careful!" Omir added with a worried step on gravel, "I cannot see as well as I used to."

"Oh, I'm sure you're just as sharp as you used to be," Zander joked with him, patting his shoulder.

"So," Dipper spoke aloud, "last time we were here, we kind of caused a cave-in, so they'll be a part where we can't go any further, but we should definitely get to the mines before we run into the dirt and-"

As he turned to the right, Dipper slammed into a wall of stone and dirt. He gasped and rubbed his nose, holding it still as his face screamed in shock, less than pain. Mabel rushed to him, and the two of them stared ahead.

"Wait... but this wasn't here," Mabel turned and stared at the mine tracks that lead to them, but ended mere feet behind them, torn up from the ground.

"It's a wall," Omir pointed out.

"No! No!" Dipper shouted, and began to fuss with the strong underground wall before him. "This wasn't here before!"

"You mentioned a cave-in?" Omir suggested. Zander stepped past him, and began to examine the train tracks.

"But... but if the cave-in had been this extensive," Dipper reasoned, "the town could have collapsed. Also," he pointed in accusation at the wall as he stepped back, "this isn't like a wall of dirt from a cave in! It's flat! If this came from falling earth, it would level up to the ceiling from all the loose gravel and rock!"

"Well, regardless," Omir said loudly," we cannot go that way."

"Yeah," Zander stood up, dusting his hands on his jeans, "just look at the tracks here," he pointed down, " torn up. Maybe recent, but you needed power tools for this. And it looks like this has been abandoned for a while."

Dipper growled and looked to Mabel. Her eyes sparkled in the light from his phone, but she said nothing. Their idea was a bust. Dipper was not done yet though- not by a long shot. There was still the unexplored left to go. With a growl, he stormed past Zander and lead the light towards the left. Unless the three behind him wanted perfect darkness, they had no choice but to follow.

He was frustrated. Dipper couldn't believe what he had seen. That right path had been opened, sure as day. There was nothing else he could imagine that could cause it to shore up like that, unless a spell caused the earth itself to shift so drastically that he couldn't tell it had changed. Even if there had been a spell of that power, Dipper was certain someone would have complained about earthquakes prior to this.

Moving silently in the darkness for a few minutes as he deliberated through his qualms, Dipper stopped. The hall before them widened into a large square room. It only took a shine of his cell phone to show boxes. What was more, as he realized with a gasp, the boxes were fresh.

"Check them," He pointed and rushed closer with Mabel. Zander was quick to join them as the scoured the various crates. The three, slowly joined by Omir, whose sharp eyes scanned the room with a harsh expression, opened the first box.

"Whoa," Zander gasped.

"Science-y stuff," Mabel exclaimed as she reached inside and lifted an empty beaker.

"Beakers?" Dipper asked as he lifted one out himself. "In bulk?" he asked, and tossed the glass far behind him, which shattered.

"Ohh! I wanna do that!" Mabel gasped, and started hurling out entire handfuls of glass ornaments.

"Why have this many glass beakers?" Dipper asked, measuring in his mind the size of the box, "there's enough room in there for hundreds of these. Why?"

"Sounds like whoever got them needed a lot of room to mess up," Zander guessed. "What's your opinion, Mister Steindorf?" Zander asked, as he and Dipper turned to the older man, who was watching the pile of shredded glass grow by Mabel's count.

"Nothing. I am not a scientist," he said.

Dipper nodded and looked to the right more. Several more crates presented themselves. There, atop one small crate, Dipper found a vial. He gasped- there was something inside it. Someone may have left a clue to the origins of this equipment. "Here," he waved over his frantic sister and the others. Mabel dropped her fun smashing time, and walked over.

"That looks familiar," Mabel said the instant Dipper lifted his phone light to the vial. A single but very thick fiber spiraled inside.

"What?" Dipper asked as Mabel took it from him, and sniffed. She gasped and pushed it away. "That... why did you do-"

"Werewolf hair," Mabel said, "I remember the smell more than anything else. Oh, well maybe except for the itches."

"In a vial," Dipper squinted his eyes and stared at the smallest sample of werewolf hair he had seen, "why..."

"Well, it'd be a sample, right?" Zander suggested.

"For what is the real question," Dipper reminded him. "Why have all this equipment for-" Dipper's eye caught something under the crate. A stapled series of papers, dirty and muddy, but still intact. With a gasp, he reached down, and tore it out from under the crate. "Dang it," he growled. He had literally torn it out- lost nearly a forth of the bottom of the papers.

"Evidence of the crime," Mabel mentioned as she scanned the paper. "Uh-oh."

"What?" Dipper asked, and he too looked to the paper. "Oh god, that's a cryptogram," Dipper grumbled.

"A what?" Zander asked.

"A secret message that has been written using numbers or other letters to represent something else," Dipper explained, staring at the pages. "All of them are coded. Not by numbers. Nor binary. I... It could be Caesar, but I doubt it. These numbers..." Dipper then looked to the far right of the corner, and saw series of numbers, seven to eight long.

"They look like bulk orders," Zander admitted.

"Huh?" Dipper and Mabel turned to him.

"Yeah, bulk. You know, ordering in mass. It was useful when you want to save while spending a lot of money- you buy something in bulk so you get a ton of something and never pay for it again. Like lightbulbs, or toilet paper," Zander said.

"Exactly," Omir stepped next to him, and bet past him to look at the sheet. His eyes scanned the dark letters and he shrugged. "I don't know what the rest is, but those look like order numbers."

"So someone bought a massive order of... vials?" Mabel asked. "Boring."

"Not just vials, here," Dipper waved them over, having abandoned the sheet to Mabel, "this crate is spare parts." Indeed, a large crate was disorganized and filled with cogs, springs, wires, all metal ingredients to a larger piece. Examining the box, Dipper saw a logo- Sc&amp;Co.

"Steindorf and Co?" Dipper gasped. The three walked over to Dipper, and Dipper turned to the CEO. "Your company sells this kind of stuff?" Dipper gasped.

Omir shook his head. "We're multi-billion dollar enterprise. We sell high-quality... everything. We've made a great bounce in the past ten years with... oh god," he gasped."

"What?!" Dipper demanded.

"Construction equipment," Omir stated, "it made a boon for our economy- American is ever growing and-"

"Dipper," Mabel grabbed his shoulder suddenly, "we know a place that could have taken all this stuff!" she said with shock. Dipper could only stare at her. "Dude! His _old_ hide-out! By the-"

"Junk yard," they finished together.

"Wait," Zander gasped and shook his head, "you mean he had an old hide out, all this time, and you never bothered to-"

"Of course we did!" Dipper defended, "right after we dealt with him, we went back to see if he ever came for his stuff. After he bugged us with a Tulpa-"

"A what?!" Omir gasped.

"-we checked his hide-out, and everything was taken away. We thought at the time he..."

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. While the Warlock had been intelligent and cunning enough to make alliances with various monsters and hatch schemes worth running from and to, Graupner Kinley was... short-sighted. He could have moved back in after they stopped checking in on his hide out.

"We need to go check there right away!"

The four turned, and as fast as they could guided only by the light from a flashlight, the four began to re-take their steps back into the library. Omir was the first to exit, gasping as he had struggled to keep up with the three. Zander would encourage him to keep pace, reminding him of his youth, which Omir continuously scowled back at him.

Miss Isoar had only a moment to scold them for running in the library before they exited the building and made for the car. She only barely registered Dipper and Mabel a moment afterwards, as she instantly recognized Zander and Omir- two immaculate royalties.

"Let's get this man behind bars a-s-a-p," Omir said as he climbed into the driver seat.

"Why?" Mabel asked with a grin.

"I was supposed to go back to headquarters today. I'm technically lying to my board of directors," he grinned to the others.

"Shameful!" Zander smiled. "Man, I thought all suits were stuff and rule-driven."

"And here I thought all musicians were air-headed," Omir returned, and Zander laughed. "I wanted to be out of town before the end of the night. But you two work quick!" Omir told the twins as he pulled out from the street. "Now, lead me to this junkyard," he told them.

Dipper was more than happy to point him into the right direction. Again and again they turned down the streets of Gravity Falls, moving towards the prized location. Slowly the buildings grew shorter and more residential. Finally, as Omir gasped, the parked before the rusted and worn down fences. To Dipper's and Mabel's amusement, the local old cook was wondering the front.

"Well call me a wang-doodle with a proper sportin' funnel!" Old Man McGucket said as the four stepped outside. "Welcome! Are you four interested in my scrap metal?"

"Sorry Fiddleford," Dipper waved a hand, "on business today."

"Aww tarnation," Mcgucket shrugged, "well, if you all plan on coming by, I'll be here."

"This way," Mabel waved the two over towards a large shed that stood outside the fenced off junk-yard. There, sitting at the corner of the unassuming shed was a small banana peel. "Observe gentlemen," Mabel said, and kneeled down, and lifted the peel, revealing it to be a plastic contraption. A small red button awaited, and Mabel pressed down on it. Silently but hastily, the wall before them sunk down into the earth. The two newcomers stood watching, Zander with his mouth agape.

"Someone had a heck of a budget, wouldn't you say?" Zander said, eying Omir. The old man glanced back at him, but said nothing.

"Inside," Dipper waved them to follow.

Unlike the darkness of the mines from before, the way down was lit from lights imbedded into the ceiling. While not impressive, the industrious flood of yellow light was more than enough. Dipper never considered removing his cell phone for the purpose of lighting. Even as the daylight behind them grew distant, they could see perfectly fine in the spiraling descend large enough for a truck to move between the walls.

Finally Dipper and Mabel entered the chamber they had once before. The dug-out room was nearly five hundred feet wide in all directions, showing of the pipes above them, running under the roads of the town.

Dipper laid eyes on it first- the sacrificial slab.

Despite their mission, Dipper found himself drawn to it. There, Dipper could see himself tied to surface and being sliced down the arm like a lamb to the slaughter.

"My word, this place is impressive," Omir gasped as he stepped forward.

"And this is where we kicked him off," Mabel said, pointing to a large, open tube near the corner of the room, nearby the edge of the dirt. Just off the edge, a large, but shallow lake of several hundred feet of run-off water from leaking pipes gently rippled in their presence.

"Where? In that?" Zander asked, looking to the tube.

"Yup! He fell right in. Cut up Dipper, nearly killed Soos," she said with a shake of his head, "we were fed up with his gullet."

"I can see why," Omir nodded, "he's not a kind person, is he?"

"No," Dipper firmly said. "Not at all."

"Dipper, what's up?" Zander asked, as Dipper had not moved from his position, glaring at the stone slab continuously.

"It was here. This is were we really met him. _Really_ met him," Dipper said darkly, his arm wincing as he felt the whispers of a pain long since gone. "He tied me to this slab and cut me, and drained my blood for a spell."

"A spell?" Omir asked, from the distance as he patrolled around, looking at the pipes.

"Yeah. It failed or something," Dipper shrugged, and turned back to the slab. He frowned. What had it meant to do? "It was... a spell for detection," Dipper said. His arm flexed involuntarily again, and he turned away. Mabel remained there though, letting her hand linger on where she had helped Dipper free, and fight the Warlock for the first time.

"Mabel," Zander said quietly as Dipper walked away, "there," he pointed. Mabel turned and saw it too. A long dried and stained crimson blotch.

"Yeah," she nodded and shuddered. "He really cut into Dipper."

"What's blood used in a detection spell anyway?" Zander asked Mabel.

"I don't know. Now that I think about it..." Mabel started.

"What?" Zander asked.

Dipper had left their presence. he saw the trio of pipes he had woken up tied to. Something was left there- right in his face. A small piece of paper. He reached out and pulled it to him. Behind him, Mabel was talking to Zander.

"Well, the spell was supposed to detect something," Mabel said aloud, "Dipper!" she called before Dipper started reading, and he nearly dropped the note. "What went wrong with the spell again?"

"Uh... he said something about power?" Dipper tried. Then he snapped his finger and nodded. "He said there was too much interference! From 'other power signatures'... wait," Dipper walked closer his eyes shining with realization, "Mabel, that sounds familiar."

"How?" she asked.

"We uncovered a massive source of energy that was in town- remember? He said that something massive in town was causing his spell to be unable to detect something. We found a TON of things like that."

Mabel stared at Dipper, she wasn't connection the two together as quickly. Not at least for a few moments. Then she blinked.

"Yuki. The animus! Robo-people!" she gasped.

"Come again?" Zander asked.

"We'll explain later," Dipper quickly said, holding the note tightly in his hand as he approached Mabel, "that means that whatever the Warlock is looking for, has been looking at things with the power level comparable to the animus."

Mabel shuddered and scratched her scalp. "Don't remind me. I still occasionally dream in Urlin."

"In what?" Zander gasped.

"Alien language. Yuki speaks it," Mabel explained.

"Which means... Mabel," Dipper got closer to his sister, his voice now only a whisper, "what else do we know that is in town that is important that could be seen as powerful as animus?"

"... the Portal," Mabel whispered.

"And-"Dipper gasped as his eyes widened, but Mabel was on top now.

"What dream demon recently demanded we leave town!?" she shouted.

"What, what?" Zander gasped.

"What is it?!" Omir called from the wall.

"It's about the portal," Dipper said in aghast, "he's been here... for the portal. All about the portal," Dipper shook his head.

"Which means he doesn't know where it is still," Mabel told him with her hands to his shoulder, "or he'd have tried getting into the Manor already."

"What are you all talking about?" Omir called.

"Dipper, what... what's that?" Zander repeated, pointing to Dipper's hand.

"Oh right," Dipper sighed and looked down, "It's something I found on a pipe. Give me a second." He lifted it up and unfolded it. It was a typed and printed note. He began to read it. "To the twins, who I know are the only other's who know about this place, I want to say an official farewell if you're reading this underground. You- wait," Dipper looked up to Mabel and Zander, "what else could a note that starts with 'I want to say goodbye' mean?"

Dipper spun behind him to the entrance. No string had been broken, but as he had feared, something small was letting off a tiny red repeating light. Flashing and flashing as Dipper stared at it, he had barely a chance to see a wire connected to it, and lead off into the wall, where several covered stick-like objects lay. Dipper turned back in the single moment it had taken him to take it all in. "Mabel-" he manged to say.

No one had a chance to reply. In a blast so loud the air itself rippled like water, everyone in the underground room was thrown off their feat as nearly twelve hidden sticks of dynamite exploded at once. Dipper flew into the air, feeling his skin shocked as his head spun.

At some point he had hit the ground, even though he could feel nothing. The only thing he knew was he had been beaten in the moment..

The Warlock had beaten them to the punch.

* * *

Stay tuned for next Monday. Sorry guys, more weekend shenanigans. After next week, I'll be back on the Saturday posting schedule until something else happens. Also sorry for taking a BILLION years to reply to reviews. Internet has been terrible for my computer recently, and I'm crossing my fingers it works enough for this to be uploaded.

This is it, by the way guys. The end stretch has begun. As the name implies, we're here, running into the shadows. From here until the end, Season two enters the darkness.

No turning back.

-EZB


	52. After the Shadows: Part 2

If the world would stop spinning for a minute, Dipper could stand back up. He wasn't sure which direction he was facing: up or down, to his side, or if he was standing. Everything was numb and stricken from senses of direction.

Maybe an hour, maybe a moment, after all the explosions had started, his ears began to ring. Had they always been ringing? Dipper couldn't tell. It was soo endless and painful that he squeezed his eyelids tightly shut and groaned. His brain itself was rebelling against the sense he was beginning to pick up.

To his terror, he opened his eyes and saw before him a fallen girl.

"Mabel," he tried to scream. Dipper could barely move himself up and against the floor, scraping his hands and knees against the dirt.

Something was still blasting the air around them. Dipper turned from his unmoving sister and looked up. The walls were still exploding around him. Dirt and debris flew into the air like bullets. Everything vibrated with destructive energy.

Dipper finally remembered everything: the secret cave, the note in his hand, the first explosions. The trap had been set up long before they got there.

"Mabel," Dipper managed to say louder, able to feel most of his body at this point. Pushing himself up forward, Dipper cringed as a large rock fell next to his hand, narrowly avoiding crushing his entire arm.

"Mabel!" His voice fell on deaf ears. She wasn't moving. Panic flooded his mind and heart and he hurried over, damning the scrapes against his knees. "Mabel!" Still no reply. He found her and pulled her over. There was a trickle of blood falling from her forehead. All the feeling Dipper had managed in the moment evaporated into sheer fear.

Was she...

"Help!" Dipper yelled.

No one replied. Dipper twisted around, still sitting next to his unmoving sister. Where was Mister Steindorf and Zander? The falling rocks and pebbles from the ceiling made it hard to see clearly around.

The entire hide out was a mess. As more sticks of hidden dynamite exploded and cast their own dust and flame into the air, Dipper saw the huge chunks of rock that had fallen. Entire columns of wall had collapsed, along with several pipes, now twisted and ruined. Water splashed around them, and past one of these Pipes, Dipper saw Steindorf rising.

"Help!" Dipper shouted again.

"Dipper!" the old man stood and stumbled, leaning against a rock. No visible injury was shown through his pants leg, but he winced. "Ah! My leg!"

"Mabel's been hurt!" he called. Steindorf growled and raised his face.

"Stay there! I'm coming over!" he told Dipper. Yet as he stood on his leg, he cried out and fell to the floor.

Dipper mouth fell open as the earth underneath Steindorf cracked and split. Within a span of several moments, the proud, billion dollar man yelled for his life, slipped, slid down one of the sides of cracked earth, and began to hold onto the sides for life itself.

"I'm slipping!" he shouted. "Help!"

Dipper couldn't believe it. How had everything gone so wrong. They were going to be buried here, crushed by the weight of earth itself.

Then a pair of clammy, shaking hands wrapped themselves around his shoulders and he was forced to his feet. "Wha-wha- Zander?!" Dipper spun.

"Run like a coyote when supper's on the line!" A short old man with a crooked back and crooked eyes shouted at Dipper, pulling him towards the exit.

"McGucket!" Dipper shouted. "Wait! Mabel-"

Behind Dipper, as he was pulled towards the exit, Zander Maximillion swept up Mabel in one motion and ran after Dipper and McGucket. His long bear trailing behind him, the old man lead the charge out of the collapsing tunnel. Dipper still saw Omir Steindorf, trying to pull himself up. Only as he got somewhere did he slip and turn back to Dipper and the others.

"What about Mister-"

"Just run!" Zander shouted at him, cradling Mabel in his arms.

Dipper finally had full control of himself. The realization he wasn't dying was enough for full mental control to assume reign, and he took the words to heart. Pushing past McGucket, he ran, leading the way out. Rocks and pebbles fell around them as more and more structure began to de-stabilize.

Endlessly turning to the right, Dipper's eyes were stricken by direct sunlight. He couldn't stop- even when he stumbled. He had to make sure everyone got out first, and then he could deal with the pain around him. He whipped around, and there was the three- McGucket, Zander, and Dipper's sister, still motionless.

They were out finally. Fresh air washed Dipper's face and once he tossed off his hat, Dipper's hair was washed in the cooling breeze.

The rumbling below hadn't stopped. More and more explosions went off.

Dipper turned and just in time- his sister was dropped into his arms.

"What are you-" Dipper started.

"Hold her! I'm going back inside!" Zander shouted, and started for the secret entrance.

Just as he fully turned away, the entire entrance caved in. Zander stumbled back, his hands falling to his side as a plume of dust billowed out. Dipper and McGucket both gasped as their mouths and eyes were covered in the horribly coarse dust. Zander stood at the once- entrance to the cave, staring at it.

"So..." he mumbled.

Dipper looked to McGucket, who glanced back at Dipper. Zander was talking to himself, and shaking his head. What was he thinking over there?

"We can dig him out," Dipper suggested, "we need to call-"

Only as they thought everything was over, then did the finale present itself. The cave in itself collapsed into the earth. With earthquake-like power, the entire area above the cave system, including half the scrap yard, fell dozens of feet into the earth. Water began to flood the now collapsed crater, as the broken pipes sloshed out and began to flood the cave-in.

Dipper didn't know what to say. The chances of anyone surviving that... Omir Steindorf was gone.

Zander turned around, scowling. He turned to McGucket first. "You need to hide. I think people will try blaming you for this one."

"That's okay, Imma stealthy as a possum," McGucket shrugged.

"Good. Get going," Zander told him with authoirty. McGucket glanced back to Dipper once, and turned away, hobbling his fastest down the sidewalk. Dipper stared at Zander, who lifted his sister from his arms. "We need to run," Zander told him.

Dipper nodded and complied.

The opposite direction the fled, up the dirt path and into the woods. The entire hike Dipper was torn by briars and struck by branches. His mind was so shaken and horribly twisted he couldn't think about his next step as his body moved. He had just stared into the face of death. And their ally, Omir Steindorf, had just been swallowed by the ground itself.

Ii was... it was all Graupner's fault.

Rage boiled in his stomach as he ran. It did not focus him more, or provide him with a sense of clout, but what he lost in sense of pity he gained in pain tolerance. Everything about him numbed, from the scratches on his arm and face to the scrapes on his knees screaming for rest- nothing felt quite the same as pure, unfiltered anger.

"Here," Zander finally turned to Dipper as they met a clearing atop a hill. Dipper was breathing heavily. "Take a breather. You sound like you need it."

"I don't," Dipper bit, his teeth barely moving apart. Zander flinched.

"Dipper?"

"This... all of this... was The Warlock's fault!" Dipper yelled into the air.

"Dipper, calm down," Zander said.

"NO!" he yelled back. "He tried it again! To kill us again! A trap to bury us alive!" Dipper paced back and forth, his hands rubbing his hair, now spared from his beanie. "I... I'll kill him," Dipper growled.

"No you won't," Zander sighed.

Dipper whipped his eyes to Zander and bored them deep into the green eyes, "Oh yes I will. I'm done trying to bring him back alive. He just escalated the fight. He nearly killed me! He _killed_ Mister Steindorf!"

"Bro," A weak voice mumbled, "calm down."

In a single gasp dipper had all his hateful energy leak out. Mabel was moving, stirring; alive. Dipper rushed forward, and gently wiped away the blood on her face with his hand.

"Hey," he whispered to her. "How are you feeling?"

"About the same when I woke up in hell that one time," she told Dipper with a grin. Zander blinked and looked to Dipper, but said nothing.

Dipper smiled and shook his head. "A story for another time."

"Right," Zander nodded.

Mabel gasped and looked up. There was Zadner's face and being. Her face reddened and a dopey smile was adopted. "Wait. Am I dead or alive?"

"Alive," Zander told her.

"Yesssssss," Mabel said to herself quietly, clenching her hands together. "Best way to wake up ever."

"Can you walk?" Dipper asked her.

"Don't want to," she told him with a scowl.

Dipper sighed and nodded. "You can put her down. She's okay."

Zander chuckled and slowly lowered Mabel to her feet. She whined and then crossed her arms together. "Phooey. Wait," she blinked and looked up to the sky. "Blue? Weren't we under- DIPPER!" she turned to her brother, and saw his injuries, and then felt her forehead and gasped in pain. "What the heck happened!?"

What alleviation Dipper had gained by his sister's revival once again became corrupted by anger. He was reminded with a meaningful glance from Zander of what they had just escaped. "An ambush," he said, his voice croaky and tense.

"How!?" Mabel demanded, looking down the hill. All of town could be seen from their spot, and she gasped. The huge hole made was also visible- now being crowded by policemen and onlookers alike. "Holy crud-sickles. That's not... that's not where we were, is it?"

Zander nodded, but Dipper stepped closer. "That's where the secret base was. Graupner booby trapped it. Something triggered explosives," he told his sister.

"A sensor," Zander added. The two turned to him, and he shrugged. "I saw it when I ran out to get McGucket for help. The same model made by Steindorf and Co. Kid Graupner has some real moves on him."

"He really blew up everything?" Mabel asked.

Dipper opened his mouth, but a strange feeling in his hand put him to pause. There was something wet in his hand. Looking down to it, he found the now bloodstained note that he had found from the hidden cave. The one he started to read and then the cave blew up.

"Dipper?" Mabel asked.

Dipper heard her voice, but instead read. He had to see what the man wanted to say.

_To the twins, who I know are the only other's who know about this place, I want to say an official farewell if you're reading this underground. You have been a pain in my search for far too long, and this is it. When you read this, I'll have moved off to a new location. I'm getting tired of hiding in the shadows, so this will be my offical warning to you. You leave me be, and this ends. I'll leave you be, and you'll leave me be. Stay away forever, or what will happen in a few moments will just be a test of what I can do. And before you can start thinking that my powers are weak- you haven't seen real magical power. Last chance, Pines._

Dipper held the bloodied note in his hands. It had been written like that had been a joke. A warning. A warning? _That_ had been a warning? Trying to bury him and Mabel had been a warning to stay away?

"He's not human," Dipper's voice shook, and he crumpled the paper into a bloody mess.

"More threats, huh?" Mabel asked with a deep sigh.

"That- what happened there-" Dipper pointed to the hole in town, "-was supposed to be a warning."

"Man, if we warned people like that, there wouldn't be a town left," Mabel joked.

"MABEL!" Dipper roared, and Mabel flinched. Her brown eyes worriedly looked to her brother's, wondering at what point he would strike. He never did. Instead he pulled at his hand and turned away. "Sorry," he grumbled.

"I guess that's what happens when you use magic, huh?" Zander asked. Dipper and Mabel turned to him, "you end up going crazy?"

Dipper shrugged. "Not... always," he said.

"You two need to go home," Zander told them, and started walking towards the other side of the hill.

"What?!" The twins shouted in unison.

"Oh no," Zander whipped around, shaking his head, "don't give me that! You two almost died! The old man is gone! This kid is a genuine _murderer_ now!" Zander shouted. "And you just want to keep looking for him!?"

"Yes," Dipper nodded.

"Absolutely," Mabel also nodded.

"Are you- I can't even- why- AAUGH!" Zander put his face into his hands. Rubbing his eyes while groaning, he came to a nod. "Fine. Fine. I doubt I can persuade you into changing your mind, so... least I can do is make sure you two are fine."

"Thanks," Dipper nodded. Zander shook his head and looked into town. "I mean it, Zander," Dipper pushed his thanks.

"Yeah," Mabel also spoke, "without you, we may be-"

"Okay, okay, enough hero worship," Zander shrugged. "I get it. I'll help. Just... tell me if we get a hint like that again we just run for it, okay?"

"Got no problems with running for my life," Mabel said. She then looked around. "Hey, where's Mister Steindorf?"

Dipper blinked. "You... heard me," he told her, his throat tightening on the subject.

"Huh? I heard you shouting... wait," Mabel turned back towards the massive hole in town. Her eyes swelled as she stared, and then she put her hands to her face. Tiny gasps and shakes of he head told Dipper she finally understood what had happened. Her face, already dirty with dust and dirt, was cleaned in two paths of tears. "He died," Mabel affirmed.

Dipper turned to Zander. The man's usually expressive and energy-filled eyes were dulled. They were tired and empty, and the moment Dipper looked too long into them, he had to look away. Zander's condition seemed worse on the inside than the outside.

"On the note," Dipper said aloud, cutting into the silence around him, "Graupner says something about being tired of hiding in shadows."

"So?" Mabel turned, wiping her face, smudging her blood and dust across her cheeks.

"So that means he moved," Dipper re-explained, "he moved to a place where he doesn't consider it 'hiding in shadows'."

"What, he's just walking around in the public?" Zander asked. "I don't want to sound mean, but the townsfolk may be dumb, but they can tell when someone weird is wondering around with a black cloak."

"Yeah. Same with the cops," Mabel agreed, "they'd spot him and arrest his sorry butt."

"Then... where does someone go to when they don't want to hide underground?" Dipper asked.

Mabel jumped. "A tower!" she gasped, and pointed to the television radio tower, "maybe he's hiding up there! Like a vulture!"

Dipper frowned as Zander turned away from the town. "No, it wouldn't make sense. That's heavily seen by people, and it has a crew constantly watching over it. I think a few people may notice if the men working at the television town vanished. No, it'd be more likely to be at the water tower," Dipper turned and pointed to the other side of town.

"On that old thing? With Robbies muffin?" Mabel asked.

"It's not heavily guarded, and less people care about it. Easier to sneak to, and more places to put stuff," Dipper suggested.

"I don't think so. It's really windy up there," Mabel said, "he'd be blown off by his cape-cloak-thingy."

"Well, you got a better idea?" Dipper scowled at her.

"I suggested the radio," she stuck out her tongue.

"What about that?"

The twins turned behind them to Zander, looking up the hill. There, atop a cliff, the two spied a building. Something from long in the past, abandoned, and overlooking the entire town.

Dipper gaped and Mabel smiled. Of course it made sense- the last person who used it was an egotistic monster. It would only make sense that another monster of equal or greater variety would take up residence. There, hundreds of feet up, built against the ledge of a tall cliff, was none other than the old Gleeful Warehouse.

"If we step on one of those stupid toys that speaks up, I'll burn the entire building to the ground," Dipper grumbled.

"So, shall we?" Zander offered.

Climbing up the hill without the same adrenalin was difficult. Of course Mabel was fine, bounding up steep steps like a fully-functioning billy-goat, but Dipper found it harder and harder to keep pace. Zander constantly turned and checked on him, something that only made Dipper more frustrated.

He couldn't be a burden. They were close to getting this guy, and the last thing they needed was him being incapable of staying with the pace. Yet his knees buckled and his hands strained each time he grabbed a tree branch and pull himself forward. He would sleep soundly tonight, even if he didn't want to.

Given half an hour of climbing, the trio finally made it. There it was, that dumb, nearly boarded up building that housed an appalling amount of relics of a monster long since left town. The worn of sign of their advisory hung above them, a slogan long since drawn over by teenagers with spray paint.

"What's with the plush toy?" Zander pointed to the face above the door. "Was there a toy brand here once?"

Mabel snorted and laughed as Dipper rolled his eyes. "That's Gideon Gleeful."

"Gleeful, huh?" Zander eyed the front, "huh. Mascot?"

Mabel roared with laughter, and Dipper refrained a smile. "Let's go inside," was what he could manage.

The doors swept inside without restraint. Dipper eyed them, surprised at the lack of noise they made when shoved aside. _The hinges should have rusted a while ago..._

Yet he passed inside with his sister at his side and Zander behind them. The warehouse, to the twins dawning disappointment, was uninhabited. The Warlock wasn't lying on the floor with his plans all scattered around like Dipper had hoped for. There wasn't much in the massive building that indicated his presence.

"Dang," Dipper frowned and shook his head, "if he was here, we missed him."

"No way," Mabel stepped out further, scanning the piles of old crates and boxes strewn about, "I bet you there's something here that could help us out. Anything."

"I don't know," Dipper sighed as Zander strode past him, following Mabel, "it was a good guess... wait," Dipper quietly said, scanning the floor above him. Like many warehouses, there was a catwalk around the ceiling for tall orders of mass shipments. In one of the corners, a tiny red light bleeped at Dipper. His first instinct- run, scream, holler. But he saw what it was- a camera. Not only a camera, a functioning security camera.

"I'll be right back," Dipper called to the two as he turned towards a cramped spiraling staircase that lead up.

The steps shook and trembled under his dusty steps. Each rattling cry would have told dozens of guards of Dipper's coming- but he didn't care. Nothing was waiting for him up here. He wasn't even sure that there was _anything_ to indicate the Warlock had ever been here. But a security office above them could have the answer.

The door above also creaked. Clearly this hadn't been open in a very long time- just barely left a crack open by some lazy security officer, or maybe Gideon himself.

That name fluxed through Dipper like a bad illness. Their enemy, unlikely ally, and nuisance. There was a tremendous amount of animosity between the twins and that thing. Calling him a boy would have been a joke- he was cruel and mean beyond the twins belief. Well, at least until recently. Now a new outline took that spotlight- the warlock.

Dipper shook his mind. He had almost considered if Gideon could be in all of this- but that seemed less than likely. Gideon, and his family, had long since left town. This had a much less publicly appealing signature on it. The little rat had always enjoyed the love from the masses, and this entire operation from their enemy was the antithesis of that.

Having opened the door, Dipper grinned- a desk stood with a still functioning security system. Checking the nearby dust-covered keyboard, Dipper tinkered. It was a digital recording system. That was enough for Dipper.

He wanted to shout- to let Mabel and Zander know what he had found. But then again... it could lead to nothing. He shrugged: he would scan the tapes first, and then call them over. If he found anything at all.

And so, with a click of the button, Dipper began to rewind the recordings.

"You think it could be booby trapped here too?" Mabel asked Zander as she looked around. "I see you, mister camera," She added, pointing at the single security camera.

"I don't think so," Zander called from the doors, checking them. "Last time it was a motion activated system or something. I'm not seeing anything like that."

"Zander," Mabel turned and grinned at the rock-star," you really are a walking book of know-how, aren't you?"

"What'cha mean?" Zander asked with a small smile.

"You're a god of music, a man who excels at person care and hygiene, clearly super-duper athletic," she added with a quick glance at his body, "you know how to garden like a pro, never really panic about things, and now you know about motiony-detecty-stuff?" she pointed out, and he chuckled, rubbing his wrists as he looked away. "Is there anything you _can't_ do?"

"I'm a lousy cook," he shrugged.

"Ohh, you know," Mabel stepped closer, her hands behind her as she strode over carefully, "I, uh, could teach you."

"Why?" Zander looked to her with a blank face. Then he blinked, and shook his head with a small grin, "nah. I like providing to the many other cooks in the world. Spread the wealth, right?"

"But it's so much fun!" Mabel declared, grabbing his jacket, and then adjusting the scarf she ruffled, "sorry. But seriously- a lot of fun, and easy! Also, you'd be supporting the farmers and stuff, so really-"

"Mabel, no thanks," Zander told her.

The tone was cold.

That was the first time Mabel had ever heard the man use that voice with... anyone. Angry he had been with Robbie and Dipper, and scared when a spectral bear charged him and his band. But cold? Mabel shrunk back and stared at him. He noticed quickly enough and put a hand to his face. "Sorry, Mabel. This... this isn't what I expected today."

"Yeah," Mabel nodded as Zander stepped over and sat down on a crate. Her mind then scolded her every-longing desire to become closer to Zander. There could be better times than now to flirt. A man had just... died. Someone who went to them for help was gone. Her mouth twitched and she pursed her lips. "I didn't expect this either."

"Oh?" Zander looked up to her, his eyes wide with shock. "Wait... right," Zander shook his head.

Mabel crooked her head to one side. "What's up? You sound like you got something in your noggin."

"Yeah. I... just bad memories," he told her.

"Want to talk about-"

"No," he said with a tone solid as iron. Mabel stepped back again. Zander growled at himself, ruffling his hair and squeezing his scarf. "Mabel... look," he looked back up to her, "I'm just... seeing that? Back there," he nodded to the town outside the door, "that cave in brought some bad memories up. You, uh, don't think you can give me a moment, do you?"

Mabel nodded and spun around.

Her world and thoughts about the rock star couldn't have changed more drastically if it were night and day. She always knew there was more than just a smile and strange sense of wisdom, and of course, amazing looks. She hadn't pictured someone pained though.

Her mind flashed a dangerous reminder to the past- to Grunkle Stan. She turned and glanced at Zander for a moment. He was leaning on his knees, looking at the ground with long, sad eyes. People who put up faces like that hid dangerous secrets. At least, that was Mabel's experience. Would he hide something dangerous like... like a portal from them?

_No_. She shook her head. He's caring- he'd be more willing to help someone and himself if he could.

As she shook her head, something caught her eye to the right. In the shadow of two piles of crate, a small bag filled with papers was wedged between the crates.

"Zander," Mabel called, "look what I found."

Up in the security office, Dipper's eyes were beginning to un-focus. How long did it take to find something that had happened recently? According to the speed of rewinding, a long time. He had barely been able to get a few days into the past.

Dipper looked away, stretching his neck. He pondered the events that would come to pass now. A CEO had vanished in town; a CEO to a billion dollar business. People would come looking for him now- almost certainly. Dipper wondered how long before a man-hunt was established, and they'd find the remains of the poor guy buried under all that rock. If they were anywhere else, Dipper was certain it wouldn't take that long- after all, people responded well to disasters like that. Only this was Gravity Falls. Progress came at turtle-like speeds. The rubble of the junk yards may never be fully cleared up.

Dipper glanced back down. He gasped.

Someone had just stepped out, backwards, through the front door.

"Shoot," Dipper leaned forward and pressed play.

What started as the usual black and white footage soon was interrupted by movement. A figure stepped into view, wearing cargo-pants, a t-shirt with a question mark on it, and a beanie hat covering his curly hair.

"Yuki!?" Dipper gasped.

The alien was looking around, and Dipper stared in awe. What was going on? Yuki came to the warehouse? Why?

He checked the timestamp of the recording- this was two weeks ago. What the heck was going on?

Yuki stepped in, and opened his mouth. Dipper only then realized there was no audio. He grumbled, and leaned in closer. Reading lips seemed impossible. Yuki spoke, even after a lot of exposure to modern English, very elaborately. That coupled poorly with the static and quality.

Yuki then paused, and looked down to a sheet of paper. Dipper wasn't sure what it was, but it resembled a newspaper.

From the shadows, he then stepped out. Yuki gasped and stepped away.

"No- Yuki- run!" Dipper stumbled over his words, watching the screen.

The Warlock stepped out casually, staring at Yuki. The fear and confusion in Yuki was unmistakable.

Then Dipper frowned. Yuki was fine. He had seen the alien not a few hours ago, this day. He had looked... nervous. More nervous than usual, for that matter. In fact, as Dipper sat back in his seat and watched the show before him, he pondered the past several days. Yuki had been very jumpy of late.

The warlock and Yuki spoke for minutes- Dipper eventually fast-forwarded the action. Only when they shook hands did he pause.

"No..." Dipper gasped.

They really were shaking hands. Yuki's expression was somber and direct, and Dipper couldn't see the Warlock from the angle. But...

They had agreed on something.

"What?" Dipper asked himself.

He began to go through more and more footage. Each day, nothing would happen, and each night, Yuki would appear. The Warlock would soon too appear, and they would speak. Each time, Dipper saw his friend, his alien friend Uki-Dohth, become less and less nervous.

This made Dipper more and more sick to his stomach. Yuki had made a deal with their enemy. He had come to terms with something.

Dipper never heard the steps to up the stairs, but he did hear the door open. His head whipped around to Mabel and Zander. Mabel held up a bag- one from the Mystery Manor.

"Look," she said, and held out papers for job advertisements, "I think Yuki's been here," she told Dipper. Dipper's throat, so dry and hoarse, could not reply. Mabel caught wind quickly- Dipper not speaking was always a bad sign. She turned and gasped- there he was on the TV, with a cloaked figure.

"Is that-"

"This is the fifth night in a row I've seen him and the Warlock meet in this place. Every. Single. Night," Dipper told them, his head trembling, as the sound of a boiling kettle buzzed in his brain.

"He's met with the Warlock?" Zander gasped.

Dipper spied the papers in Mabel's hands. "Job advertisements... No... this... wait..."

Dipper stood up from his seat and looked out the window behind him, to the town. Just down the hill they stood atop, a payphone rested. One of the many in town, Dipper swallowed as he made a connection that was uncanny.

"We made three attempts to sting the Warlock today," Dipper grumbled, whipping back to the TV, "each time we ran into traps or... or roadblocks!" he shouted. "Like he knew we were coming from way before hand!"

"Dipper, calm down," Mabel tried turning Dipper to her, "this isn't making sense. Yuki isn't the kind of person to sell us out."

"Really!?" he shouted, "Mabel, we've known him for a grand total of TWO MONTHS!" he roared. When Zander cleared his throat, Dipper rolled his eyes, "you're fine!" Zander sighed.

"But think about his character," Mabel told him.

"We've done that before, and Mabel? You know what?" Dipper asked, his fury building in his mind faster than his reasoning, "PEOPLE ARE LIARS!"

"Okay! Don't shout at me!" she scolded him with a push.

Dipper grumbled and stared at the picture on the screen. It still fast-forwarded. It was almost caught up, and once again, Graupner and Yuki talked amicably.

"This is how he's been ahead of us!" Dipper shouted. "He's had a mole in on us the entire time!"

"But-" Mabel protested.

"Before we make an assumption," Zander spoke up, his commanding voice returning, "maybe you should ask Yuki himself?"

Dipper and Mabel both looked to the screen. They were still talking, only the night before this. Dipper shook his head and scowled as Mabel closed her eyes. It was painful to them both.

_Why, Yuki?_

"Yeah," Mabel spoke for her brother, "let's go ask him."

Hiking back to the Mystery Manor was quiet. It would have been silent if not for the passing of the occasional car, the twittering bird, or the breezing flowing around trees. Tense, rigid, and seething, Dipper marched in the back, his head lowered and his hands in his pockets. Mabel was similar, but she walked next to Zander and continued to chew her hair.

She wouldn't believe it. Yuki wouldn't betray them.

He had lost so much since they joined him, but they had given him as much as they could. He was caring, and sweet, and dorky like Dipper was. Mabel wouldn't deny that he had made contact with their enemy, but to think he would suddenly choose the jerk-lock over the twins... it didn't add up. They offered him a family? What else could the warlock have that Yuki wanted.

Finally the Manor presented itself before them. Dipper pace quickened, passing by a confused Waddles on the porch.

"Dipper," Mabel called after him.

As he rushed in through the front door, Mabel and Zander hurried after him. Inside, Wendy had gasped.

"Dude! what the heck-" she turned to see Mabel, "holy crap! Stan!"

"Where is Yuki?" Dipper demanded of Wendy as she came around, pulling up her bag from behind the counter.

"What?" she asked, opening up the main pouch, and getting out her antibiotics, "uh, somewhere inside the house. Off-day for him- Dipper!" she shouted as he turned from her and marched away. "Mabel," Wendy demanded, "what the heck is going on?"

"Uh, well, we've-" she started before Stan stumbled into the room. Dipper marched past him towards the living room.

"Hey! What happened to-" he saw Mabel, "what the hell happened?!" he demanded in shock.

"Ambush," Mabel managed.

Stan was torn, twisting between his disappearing nephew and standing still niece. Wendy grumbled and approached Mabel, mopping her face with some soft sponges. "Heh," Stan cracked a nervous smile, "where's your rich friend? Off making a report? Oh- I get it, you caught him! YES!" Stan cackled and clapped his hands together. When Mabel looked away and closed her eyes and Zander sighed heavily, Stan stopped. "Wait... what? What-"

A roar from the living room had Grunkle Stan jump nearly a foot into the air. Out from the room marched a fury-driven Dipper, his face wrinkled in hate as he held out his journal.

"My notes!" Dipper shouted. "My notes are gone!"

"Huh?" Mabel gasped.

"All my research on dark magic!" Dipper shouted, "all the research in... in helping Wendy... they're gone!" Dipper glared around, and he turned to Stan. "Where's Yuki?" he asked with such venom it wasn't a surprise when Stanley actually leaned away.

"He said he'd be out for a bit a while ago," the old man shrugged.

"Dude, Dipper," Wendy spoke to him, her voice raised, "stand still, you've been cut up everywhere!"

"Not until-"

On cue, the door behind Zander opened and closer. Zander quickly side-stepped, and Yuki was revealed, holding a bag that looked eerily similar to the one found in the warehouse. Mabel's mouth dropped the moment she saw Yuki's expression seeing the twins.

He looked terrified.

"You!"

Dipper rushed past Wendy and Mabel. Yuki cried out in panic as a hand grabbed his shirt collar and pulled it against a wall. Dipper pinned the alien against the wall with a loud bang, and Yuki cried out, breathing almost as fast as Dipper was.

"Dipper!"

Three pairs of hands went for Dipper as he dried punching Yuki in the gut as quick as he could.

"He betrayed us!" Dipper shouted as he struggled against the powerful grip of Mabel and Stan. With a rush of footsteps and a loud series of 'Whoa dude!', Soos also pushed Dipper away.

"Calm down, bro!" Mabel shouted at Dipper as Yuki took many short, ill-suited breathes while staring fearfully at Dipper. Hyperventilating subsiding, Yuki looked to the others.

"What- what did I do!?" he asked with a high note.

"I don't know, Yuki," Dipper shouted as sarcastically as he could manage, "have you made any deals recently we should know about!?"

"What?!" Stan stepped forward, laughing, "c'mon now! This is Yuki we're talking about, not Gideon or some other rat. He'd sooner stab his own foot than make a deal with Cipher. Right?" Stan turned to Yuki. Stan's confidence wavered when Yuki said nothing, his dark face becoming a sick mossy green. "Yuki... c'mon, it's just Dipper being mad about something. You can talk... right? Tell him otherwise?" Stan suggested.

"Yuki, did you make a deal with the Warlock?" Mabel asked quietly.

Those who had not gone on the adventure- Soos, Wendy, and Stan, all darted their stares to Yuki. It was like the air from their lungs had been siphoned and vacuumed away. The large, purple eyes of Yuki shone with fear as he looked to them all. Moments passed, and yet he said nothing.

"Yuki, c'mon," Stan chuckled after swallowing, "you... you're not... you didn't make a deal, did you?"

"Go on," Dipper begged, "tell me I'm wrong," Dipper begged him. "Tell me what I found was just a misunderstanding."

"What _did_ you find?" Wendy asked. "What happened? Why are you so cut up!?"

"We... we..." Dipper found it too hard to speak as his voice trembled. Mabel took up the mantle, and cringed as she too found it hard to speak.

"We... we went to the old hide-out the Warlock used. It was booby-trapped. Then... then we lost... we lost..." she gulped, "Mister Steindorf." Yuki's lower lip trembled and he shook his head as Mabel stared at him. "We then went to the next best guess- where he could be: the old Gideon Wearhouse. There, Dipper saw Yuki talking to the Warlock on Security Cameras," Yuki put up a hand to his face, "and I found these," Mabel then dropped a bag to the floor, where newspaper clippings for jobs fell out- all circled and annotated with various notes. "Yuki... that was your bag. What's in that one you have there?" Mabel asked.

Rather than speak, Yuki slowly held out the bag to Dipper.

Trembling fingers were met by Dipper's, and the teen took away the bag, When he opened it, he gasped. "My... my notes," Dipper said. "You... you took them?" Yuki slowly nodded. "Why?!" Dipper shouted, throwing the bag also to the floor.

"I cannot say."

"Well, whatever reservations you have to talk, you better sweep them under a rug for now," Stan growled as he approached his employee, glaring at the younger looking alien, "and start talking. Now."

"I made a promise," Yuki shakily said.

"You made a promise to the Warlock, and won't tell us!?" Dipper shouted. "You- you'd actually not tell us over keeping a promise to a man that's tried to kill us today!?" Yuki shook his head and closer his eyes, and yet said nothing.

"Yuki, dude, you need to tell us," Wendy tried, "like, whatever beef you have with us-"

"Is going to get his ass thrown out if he doesn't start talking," Stan said.

The crowd turned to Stanley Pines. Standing before Yuki with a colder, more dissatisfied expression than any had seen before, Grunkle Stan leaned in to Yuki until their nose's were almost touching. "You tell us what you know, and this can be all solved, Yuki."

The other five waited the response. Yuki's eyes wouldn't budge off of Stan's, still trembling like they had been elastic. After a moment, the door next to the group opened, and Arline stepped in.

"Uh..." she said, her smiling face frozen as she took in the sight, and then the twins and Zander worn looking. "I'll... uh... what did I-"

"LATER!" Stan bellowed. Arline jumped from the floor and gasped. Stan turned back to Yuki. "Last chance."

With a timid swallow and small breath for air, Yuki finally spoke.

"I'm sorry. I... can't go back on a promise."

Stan bent back and chuckled darkly. "Oh, well, good. That makes things technically easier."

"What are you talking about?" Mabel asked.

Stan then reached out, grabbed Yuki with both of his meaty hands on his shoulders, shoved him to the door, and kicked him square in the butt. Yuki yelped, stumbled forward, and landed harshly against the dirt after stumbling over the porch. Waddles squealed and backed away, scared from the sudden movement.

"You!"

Yuki turned and stared up at the towering man, no longer restraint by a form of kindness. Fury- unrepentant and unrestrained fury blazed out and scorched Yuki like waves of heat.

"I let you stay in my home, in my _brother's_ home," Stan told Yuki as he pointed down at him, "with the understanding that you'd be on our side when this sort of thing happened. Instead, you went ahead and made a deal with the BAD GUY!"

"I swear to you!" Yuki stood up, his eyes shimmering as he begged for a chance to speak, "What I've done has, in no way, intended to harm you! Any of you!" he looked past the unchanged face of Stan, and to Dipper. "Please! Dipper, think about this. How could I have made a deal that would effect you-"

"You gave him information," Dipper told him darkly, his voice low and unsympathetic. "My notes, I bet. And isn't it weird that he knew we'd be there?"

"That was not me!" Yuki shouted. "Please?" he turned to Mabel. "Mabel! This is me we're all talking about!" he shouted, reaching out to her.

Mabel stared out past the door, wanting to rush out and comfort those lost eyes, that face begging for comfort, for reassurance. Even with every fiber of her screaming that he wouldn't do this... he wouldn't tell them otherwise. He wasn't giving her much of a choice but to believe Dipper and Stan. With a tug against her heart which brought further tears to her eyes, she turned away and walked from the door.

"Mabel," Yuki's extended hand drifted and fell to his side as his wide eyes to the ground.

"You betrayed us," Dipper managed to state as his lips trembled. "You lied to us- to me."

"You can forget about ever coming back here," Stan told him. "In fact-" he marched inside, and within a few moments, tossed out both bags, and his full astronaut gear. "Take it all! I don't want _anything_ that reminds me I let a backstabber like you in this house!"

Yuki looked to his thrown out materials. He only reached for it when Stan then growled and marched down, grabbing the objects, and then hurling them further down the road. Yuki cried out, holding his hands over his head. When he looked up, Stan's heaving form glared down.

"That's... that's the least I can do. You deserve so much more. Endangering my kids like that. You don't know what being human means," Stan reminded him as he turned away, marching to the door, "not by a long shot."

The door behind Stan slammed shut with a bang. Dipper stood outside still with all but his sister and grand uncle, watching Yuki stare at them with a horrible, blank expression. Dipper couldn't pull away from Yuki. The alien who had saved town, the unlikely friend who knew so much and so little, and the one in the end to make a deal with the enemy and tell them nothing.

If Yuki had said anything, anything at all, Dipper wondered if Omir Steindorf would still be walking with them back, defeated, but still alive.

"Dipper," Yuki said, tears running down his face, "It's not what you think."

"Just leave," Dipper managed to say.

A quick sob from Yuki had the alien nod, and slowly turn away. Bending at the knees, he slowly swept up all the things thrown at him. Grasping them all into his arms, Yuki looked back to the manor once more.

Then he walked away, a leaving only behind his tears.

Dipper turned and passed a somber Wendy and a teary-eyed Soos. They said nothing to him as they both watched their co-worker slump down the path, with nothing but papers and a long-inert space suit to keep him company. Dipper cursed himself mentally. Those papers may be useful still.

No, no- those papers had been useless. It was the fact at all that Yuki had taken them away from Dipper and to elsewhere that drove him furious.

That tore his heart to pieces as he realized he had lost a friend.

That ate at his mind for the final, and probably unsolvable question: Why?

Dipper climbed the stairs as Stan rummaged around the halls, carrying his guns around, angrily mumbling. Behind Dipper, Zander's voice called out.

"I'll be heading home. Let me, uh, know if anything-"

"Yeah, sure," Dipper replied without ever looking back.

Footsteps leading away from the ascending Dipper told him that Zander had left. He couldn't blame the guy. This had been... more than dramatic. Traumatic and scarring was closer to what the reality of the situation was. They had seen a man die, realized a betrayal, and it was all tied to their friend Uki-Dohth.

Dipper stepped into his room, pushing open the door in a zombie-like state. His sister lay on her bed, her hands over a pillow that covered her head. She lay on her stomach, which rocked with near-silent sobs.

He wanted to remind her that the choice Yuki made was his. This was going to have come for him either way. They would have found out, and based on how long the deal had under-gone, Yuki may never have tried telling them.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to tell his sister that.

In fact, the more her stared at her, the more he felt the same. A welling of sorrow in his stomach began to rise into his throat, taking hold as a thick, horrid knot of pain.

They had lost a friend.

Dipper then turned to his pocket. A friend... something registered about that word in his memory. Flashes of before Yuki- the mysteries that drove Dipper and Mabel to stay in Gravity Falls.

A mystery sat in his pocket: the cryptogram.

Dipper unfolded the paper on his desk as he ignored the build up of tears in his eyes. He had to focus. He could discover what they meant.

His paper and pen out, Dipper began to decode. Word and word he tried would be substituted for the Vigenere. He tried 'Warlock'. No success- the message meant nothing. 'Portal', he later guessed. Still nothing, but some of the letters seemed to settle up. Dipper pushed himself up and sniffled.

Damn it, he thought to himself.

"Dipper," a voice behind him asked. He dared to look behind himself, to his sister. Her reddened cheeks and nose told him how much more she had cried than he had expected. Dipper turned back, not daring to be infected with that feeling any longer.

"I'm close to solving what this was about," Dipper told her after clearing his throat, "if we can solve it, maybe it can give us an insight to what is _really_ going on."

"I... I thought we figured it was the portal," Mabel shrugged.

Dipper shook his head, and stared at the word portal. There was something close to it that almost fit... Almost fit...

Dipper then remembered what Graupner Kinley said the Warlock's favorite study was.

Power.

So he inserted it into the decipher.

Like magic, the entire message unfolded before him, coherent and understandable.

"Got it," he sighed, letting a shaking breath pass before his lips. Mabel stepped over, wiping her nose as she did. She leaned over his shoulder, pressing closer to read the message.

_July 28th is the final date. The supplies are gathered, and subject Alpha is ready. We will undergo operation 'Search and Destroy' at noon that day. Have all operation members in their positions._

Dipper stared down at the newly written sentence, and then looked up to Mabel, his eyes as wide as hers.

"Dipper," she breathed in fear.

"The twenty-eighth is... tomorrow," Dipper said.

* * *

Well, when I say drama is coming, I bet you guys didn't expect that. Or maybe you did. I can't tell these days what people expect.

Hopefully I at least met some of those expectations and made them enjoyable (if enjoyable is a word you can use for something as bad and sad as this).

So, I have news for you all. Bad news.

I'm updating this on an ancient laptop from my basement because my main computer died. When I came back this weekend from my family reunion (which was nice to see people and blah blah blah), my computer had fried. Basically, I'm stuck with this computer from 2007. Not complaining, but I'm also whining. Whaa whaa whaa.

So, uh, I don't have my notes for another week is what I'm saying. I was able to post this because I finally got a computer to connect to my page and I had uploaded the chapter already, but I can't write until I FIX MY TOWER! GAAH!

So... I really hate to say it, but the uploading goes on a week-long Hiatus after this. Sorry, sorry, I don't want to do this, but my computer pooped out on me. :( Next update will be on the 23rd.

I still love you guys if you all still tolerate me. :3

So, to make it up to you, stay tuned after the Cryptograms.

-EZB

* * *

**Gslhv dsl wdvoo rm wzipmvhh uli zmhdvih droo urmw lmob nliv wzipmvhh.**

* * *

The late evening shadow had crept over the newly established Maximillion home. This shadow was broken by the front door opening briskly, and Zander stepping in. He was one the phone, talking hurriedly.

"Yeah, they booted him out. Of course they were upset," Zander said hastily, "and they have a right to be. Pacifica, look- talk to them first. Yuki could have a-" he paused, loud voices scolding him on the other side of the phone. "Do what you want to. I'm not sure where he went though. Just-"

Zander turned into the kitchen, and stopped in his tracks.

Arline Hirsch was leaning against his counter, her arms crossed and her expression anything but friendly. Zander spied her, the phone still at his side. She was wearing both of those fire-cuffs. Her hair was tied behind her in a strong pony-tail.

"I'll need to talk later. Sorry, Pacifica," Zander said quietly, and as Pacifica made some demanding speech, he hung up. Arline bore her eyes into his, the strong blue daring the green to turn away, look frail. Zander merely looked back. "Uh... what's up?" Zander asked.

"What? Not going to offer a guest a snack? Bite to eat?" Arline asked.

"I tend to when I have the option to invite them inside," Zander joked with a chuckle. Her eyes narrowed. "Heh. Okay. What's going on?" he asked.

"You know, I was wondering that myself," Arline told him, pushing off the counter and closer to him. Each step she took rocked the ground, and her fists clenched so hard the leather of her cuffs clenched and strained against her strength. "It seems odd that a rock-star would retire in this town. What's there to it you like?"

"It reminds me of home, really," Zander said.

"Or it's been because you're more busy than you say," she said. "It's odd, isn't it," she pointed to the fridge, "that you said you never cook, but keep an entire fridge stocked with bottle water, and I couldn't find a single tiny, microscopic remainder of food in there? It's like you don't even eat," she said.

Zander scoffed. "Well, I mean, I just toss everything out. Why keep it when-"

BAM.

A fist collided with his forehead. Zander gasped and fell back, holding a hand to his temple as he gasped and groaned. Arline had flashed to him in a second. Now towering over Zander, she bent down and grabbed his scarf, and lifted him up.

"Start. Talking." she said.

"About what!?" Zander shouted at her, "how you want to be sued bad enough to start hitting me!?"

"About how you arrived in this town, suddenly decided to retire out of the blue, and instantly took an interest in the twins!" Arline shouted, "about how of all the people in the town you could have found, you chose the only two who have been making efforts against the Warlock! Oh, and while you're at it, explain how it is every time the Warlock shows his ugly head, you aren't there for some reason!"

Arline breathed heavily, and tossed Zander against a wall.

"A man DIED today! And As Much as I can't disprove Yuki, I have nearly a million times more reasons to think he's innocent than _you_!" she shouted.

"Let go!" Zander shouted.

"You show up, and the Warlock isn't there! Pretty crazy, isn't it?" she spat into his face, spit flying out as fiercely as her words, "And now the Alien get's the blame, and you walk free!"

"LET GO!"

Zander shoved hard, harder than Arline had been expecting. The rock star had some strength to him after all- she was tossed against the other side of the wall. Instinctually, she readied her fire- striking both cuffs against one another. Two balls of fire spun in her palms, and she readied for another attack.

Zander stood still, watching her.

"Give me one solid reason why you DON'T trust me!" Zander shouted at her.

"You want one, huh?" Arline grinned. "Public records."

"Huh?" he asked.

"AS soon as you started hanging out with the twins, I did a few background checks on you. It was all good and sunny at first, you know. A few odd errors here or there- like how your mother and father just sort of came out of nothingness. But then I started looking for your _actual_ birth records. They don't exist."

"What-" Zander gasped.

"Oh yeah. First thing my master taught me: study the foe. And there are just enough holes in your story that I know you're hiding something. Your birth records in the hospital's database aren't real- just like your parent's records," she added with a grin.

Zander stared at her. His eyes had once again lost their light of energy, but oddly enough, they seemed... proud. Or at least Arline was certain he was impressed.

"Fine. Follow me," he nodded. Arline stepped between him and his intended direction- the stairs. "If you want truth, I can give you some."

That was enough for her. Arline lowered her hands slowly, and let him pass by. Up those stairs she followed him, and down the hallway upstairs. She could see the four doors, and the oddly place end of the hall. Zander made towards the end, and then turned to the left. Opening the door, he stepped inside and nodded for her to follow.

"One second," he told her.

Arline frowned as Zander bent under the bed. He stood back up a moment later, holding a small manila folder. "There," he told her, handing it over.

Arline stared at it, and then did take it. Letting the balls of fire fade from her hand, she took the file and opened it. Inside, a series of news articles from thirty years ago displayed themselves to her. Several very old photo I.D.'s from eastern Europe shone in the faint light of the bedroom window.

"Witness protection," Arline muttered as she saw the papers behind the newspapers.

"My family and I are out of touch because of this... witness protection program I've gotten myself into," Zander told her, sitting on the bed with his arms on his knees, "I've taken a new life. Instead of hiding in the shadows, I chose to live in the light- where they never look. You know... I really do like it here," Zander looked up to Arline as she scoured the papers. "I'm not joking when I say it reminds me of home."

"Funny," she said as she snapped the folder shut. "Because this seems pretty coincidental."

"What?!" Zander gasped. "What the heck are you-"

"My master, a brilliant guy," Arline told him, pointing at him using his folder, "told me that the only time we get information is when we can confirm it ourselves."

"You'd trust internet information over THIS?!" Zander shouted, pointing at the documents, "Official government stuff!?"

"We'll see if it's sanctioned or not," Arline smirked, pocketing the folder, "I can hack my way through almost everything the CIA and FBI got. Gotta love my training," she added with a grin. Zander growled and shook his head. "Look," Arline crossed her arms, "if your story checks out, fine. I'll never bother you again about this. Ever."

"Fine, great," Zander sighed.

"But until then, I don't want to see you again," Arline told him, stepping back towards the door.

"Wh-what?" Zander gasped. "But-"

"No. I can't trust you. The timing of all of this- when the Warlock started to re-surface, your arrival, the attacks on the convention- they all seem to add up with you," she said, waving the folder at him. And You never did tell us where you were that day," she reminded him, "when the Warlock used an ally." Zander closed his mouth and glared. Arline grinned back. "See?" she lost her smile and stepped into the hallway. "Stay away from the twins. Or else what I started back in the hall downstairs get's finished."

She let her words sink in, staring down at the man. Then with a leap and run, she dashed down the hall and out of the house a floor below. Zander sat on his bed, his face blank. He sighed and looked over to the small night stand next to his bed. A pair of contact cases sat there, entirely unnoticed.

"I'm sure she could still learn a thing or two," Zander sighed and shook his head. He rubbed his eyes. With a sigh, he stood up from the bed, he then stepped outside to the hall. With a glance towards the entrance, he once again activated the secret door that slid open the paneling. He stepped inside hurriedly and rushed towards the curtain.

This time he did not remove the red fabric, he tore it down.

Huge additions to the pictures had been added.

Yet Zander pushed his finger right against the strong that lead from Graupner Kinley to the woods of Gravity Falls. When he glanced to the Mystery Manor and the pictures of all those who resided there, he shook his head and frowned. Slowly, he reached up and removed a recently added picture of Uki-Dohth to the employee list.

Zander let the picture fall from his hands, and he mumbled.

"This isn't at all what I expected."


	53. Operation Search and Destroy: Part 1

July Twenty Eighth was a mildly warm summer day for Gravity Falls. The wind gently tossed around the tops of trees, the kids and families at the pool enjoyed their wild and wet adventure while applying copious amounts of sun block, and the sun was peppered by the occasional white, fluffy cloud.

Had anyone told them 'You need to keep an eye out for suspicious activity and people- it's important', they would have scoffed. In fact, that's exactly what so many had done.

As the citizens and families of Gravity Falls went about their happy Tuesday, a gang of teens had been going around, supposedly trying to cause a mild panic. The related twins to the Mystery Manor proprietor had been rushing around town, talking about evacuation and other unsettling things. Fortunately for the town ease of mind, almost everyone had ignored them.

At least, that was what the town thought was best.

Dipper Pines stomped down the street, away from a now moving police cruiser. Clutched tightly in his hand was a radio walkie-talkie. As tightly held together as his teeth, Dipper lifted his balled up fist to his face.

"Cops aren't going to take us seriously," he grumbled as he pushed his back against a wall next to one of the shops.

Quickly, a calm, authoritative female voice replied. "It was worth a shot, Dipper, "Arline commended him, "but they're not going to believe it until they see it."

"It will be too late then," Dipper said as a shadow from an alley next to him came closer. Mabel emerged, holding a small, handheld device to her side. "The last time the Warlock tried something that was a plan, he hurt a lot of people. Imagine what something called 'search and destroy' would do."

Another voice poked its way into the conversation. "Yeah dude. Totally not a good thing. What if he, like, starts reversing Gravity again or something?" Soos asked.

Dipper nodded and bit his lip gently. "Okay. Well," he reached inside his pocket and retrieved his cellphone and checked the time- It read '11:59', "It's noon. Everyone, one last headcount, and then we wait."

"Sir Soos of Mission Soos, reporting for duty at the rebuilding store," Soos called.

"Unit 'Girl-Power' at the library," Candy said, barely audible over the sounds of Grenda grunting in the background.

"I'm with the pick-up crew by the scrap yard," Arline called.

"Overlooking town," Wendy's voice piped in.

Dipper listened for a second long. When no one else called in, he sighed. That was it. His head dropped slightly and he locked his eyelids tightly together. It was only them- seven versus whatever the Warlock had in store. A hand touched his shoulder. His eyes traveled the fastest, and Mabel was smiling at him in her best attempt at reassurance. Finally he awarded her with a grin.

"Okay. Counter-Operation 'Divide and Conquer' is a go. Play it safe, everyone. Good luck." Dipper lowered the device and pocketed it.

"Man, listen to you," Mabel said as she adjusted the tension on her handheld weapon- the grappling hook, "giving orders and fun jazz."

"I suggested Arline take it," Dipper told Mabel as he pushed himself off the wall, and nodded for her to walk with him down the street. They were only a block away from the mall; their target for monitoring.

"What? Why isn't she-"

"She said that if things go south, she can't be distracted by giving orders," Dipper explained with a shrug, "and I'd be lying if I didn't get that."

"Oh, well that makes sense," Mabel nodded.

"And she also said something about how she'd rather have me in charge anyway, you know," Dipper tacked on at the end of the sentence. Mabel scoffed and rolled her eyes. "What? She did."

"You're just happy she gave you a bit of recognition," Mabel stuck out her tongue first, and rounded the corner with her brother.

"And you wouldn't like that?" Dipper asked with a frown.

"Well duh," Mabel laughed. "I'd love more! But as my master says, 'only take a compliment at face value, or else you'll forget what you did to deserve it'."

"When did she say that?" he asked.

"Eh. I don't remember."

"Really?" Dipper chuckled. "You remember something that specific, but you can't remember-"

"Pfft, shuddup," Mabel poked the button of Dipper's nose and spun away, her tongue hanging out between her lips.

Dipper rubbed the insulted region, but couldn't help but smile. It was just like Mabel, even with what could happen at any moment, to act as herself. She winked at him after a moment, and he laughed.

Yet Dipper's mind played ever against his desire to remain upbeat. The Warlock was about to unleash something.

That wasn't even the worse thing to it all. Dipper had given the note some thinking, and come to several newer conclusions over the day. Pulling it out from his other pocket, he scanned the new sentences again. _July 28th is the final date. The supplies are gathered, and subject Alpha is ready. We will undergo operation 'Search and Destroy' at noon that day. Have all operation members in their positions._

The Warlock, Graupner Kinley, had used the word 'we'. Not I, we. That meant there was definitely someone working with him. That Dipper had already known for an entire month or so. Who had been the question. Yet the note disturbed him more. If there had only been one person working with him, why write the note at all? This was meant for someone else. Then there was the absolute worst part of it all...

'Have all operation members in their positions'.

Did he, the magic casting maniac, have a small army of people at his disposal this entire time? Could it have been that there was always more than one helping Graupner get away again and again?

Then Dipper scowled. Of course there had been someone helping him.

"Dipper, you're thinking about Yuki again," Mabel said off-handedly.

"Am not," he lied.

"I can hear your teeth grinding, broseph," she told him, looking away, across the street as they stood on the corner. She leaned against the stoplight post, her arms crossed.

"Fine, whatever, yeah. I was thinking about it again," Dipper grumbled and leant against the corner.

Mabel shifted in her stance, but said nothing.

The subject of the previous day's events were still a tense one. Dipper and Mabel had not spoken about it since the night before. Even in the day's morning, where they rose early enough to catch the birds still asleep, they had not uttered a real word about it since. Mabel had, to Dipper's attempt at listening in, tried calling Pacifica to tell her what had happened, but the girl hadn't responded to any calls.

Dipper wanted the help of their friend here, but he wanted the pain associated with the betrayal gone. Yuki was strong and brilliant of mind, and Dipper couldn't reason in his own head why he would have turned to the Warlock. They had given him so much, cared for him so much.

Dipper breathed deeply, and sighed. There would be a time after they beat this jerk to demand answers from Yuki. Assuming he was still in town.

"I hope Wendy's friends left town today," Mabel suddenly said.

"Huh?"

"Wendy's gang," Mabel glanced to Dipper, and then stared at the mall, "Wendy said that she called them and left messages, warning them to leave town before noon. Just for the day."

"She... actually called people?" Dipper asked. It had been a challenge to convince her to help with this mission- as she wasn't keen on letting people see her still.

"Yeah. She said she tried making it sound ghost-like and stuff, so they'd take it more seriously," Mabel shrugged. "Spooky Wendy 'n stuff."

Dipper snorted. "I wonder if she sounded like that guy from 'Almost Entirely Unsee-able Guy'," he added with a grin, "long vowel sounds and lots of 'oooos'."

"She did!" Mabel turned and laughed with her brother, "I just barely overheard her calling them. I thought she was prank calling at first!"

The two gave a good, hearty laugh for a bit. It was a nice break for the two of them. This entire past twenty four hours had been fairly devoid of laughter. True, Soos had been hopeful, and Wendy was optimistic, but actual laughter had been scarce. The approaching danger, whatever it is, was more than enough to make everyone slightly somber. Even Mabel admitted to feeling down just before they had come to town.

"You think Grunkle Stan will be okay at the shop by himself?" Mabel asked as she played with the Grappling hook, checking its scope- a new addition Grunkle Stan had added in the past two years.

"Closed shop, got out his favorite shotgun, and has waddles on watch duty?" Dipper asked her, and shrugged. "He'll be fine. I'm more worried about us and the town."

"Talk about stupid- they won't even _listen_ to us?" Mabel whipped her head to her brother, an uncharacteristic frown about her face. "Stupid-heads."

"I guess we can't blame them. They still are trying to look through the rubble by the scrap yard, and then they're also after the Warlock. I guess having kids tell them that something is going to happen is too much."

"That's dumb," Mabel pouted.

"Yeah," Dipper chuckled darkly, shaking his head, "it is-"

The two looked at each other instantly. The ground was trembling very lightly. The glanced around, and then sighed as one of the logging trucks passed them by, honking once as it went through the green light.

"Ugh," Mabel grumbled, leaning next to her brother this time, "the suspense is going to kill me."

"Yeah. It would be one thing if we knew what we were waiting for, you know?" Dipper asked. "Instead of second guessing everything that'll happen for now on."

"Speaking of knowing stuff," Mabel scooted to the side and looked to Dipper, "has Zander called back yet?" He lifted up his cell phone again and held the display for Mabel to read. No new messages or missed calls. "What gives?" Mabel grumbled. "After yesterday, he's want to help out. Right?" She asked.

Dipper nodded. It was odd, certainly, that the only other person who had seen the things he and Mabel had seen was missing. Of all the days as well- a predicted day of an attack of some sort- or at least a dangerous operation- Zander would come to help out. What had happened to him?

"If we get the chance, we should check up on him," Dipper suggested to Mabel. She nodded quickly, but her lips were pursed and her eyes were lowered. "Hey, I'm sure he's okay."

"I... I dunno," she admitted, "I have this feeling."

"What?" Dipper asked, looking around. "About him?"

"I can't tell. Just one of those 'Mabel is kinda psychic feelings', right?" Mabel attempted, a small, timid smile on about her.

Dipper shrugged. "Not sure." He glanced back.

Still nothing had happened. He checked the phone. It was now twelve sixteen. What the heck was going on? Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of crazy operation now? Something they had to be here for- to stop and protect people?

Dipper felt the weight of the walkie-talkie in his pocket. Maybe it wouldn't be bad to stop and check with Zander. He could send himself and Mabel to go.

The ground rumbled again. Dipper glanced down the street, checking for a truck. He didn't see one way, and so he turned. As he craned his head, he spotted Mabel. Her eyes were wide. Yet he continued and looked the other way- towards town.

"Dipper," she muttered.

Dipper's face struck pale colors as his skin felt cold. The shaking was getting stronger and there wasn't a single large truck nearby.

Dipper barely had time to look to the ground and back up to Mabel before things got bad.

"Find cover!" Dipper screamed.

Grabbing each other's hands, the twins rocked away from the side of the wall. The shaking was horrible- now the ground itself seemed to occasionally ripple and the poles and street lights were swaying. Just as they ran away, the one Mabel had been resting against exploded with sparks. The wiring inside twisted and splintered, and it came crashing down, shattering it's glass casings against the now splintering asphalt.

Screams of the fearful and panicked echoed above them. Dipper didn't know if it was natural or not, but an earthquake had come to Gravity Falls.

It wasn't just the signs and poles that were falling. Glass shattered in windows, raining a deadly-razor sharp hail that Dipper and Mabel danced their way around. Cars still being driven spun out of control- slamming into fire-hydrants or other cars. When the metal of the fire hydrant exploded, the jets of water were mild and passive- as the town for the past day had water pressure problems since the cave-in.

Dipper barely missed a shard of glass the size of his torso cutting into his scalp- thanks to Mabel pulling him back and away. They continued to race towards a clearing by the edge of town.

Before them, the side of one of the offices shattered. Old bricks, piping, insulation, and metal beams avalanched out into the street. Dipper shoved himself and his sister immediately to the right, avoiding most of the spillage. Several large bricks skimmed his arm, scraping and bruising him. If he could have felt the pain, he would have cared to cry out, but the situation called for more than that.

Mabel stood up with him and they ran the only direction they could- down an alleyway. Trashcans and dumpsters rattled and jostled in their way. Mabel was strong enough to give a solid metal dumpster a kick back, but as more brick and wall crumbled around them.

It was becoming an elaborate dance of survival. Each of their awareness had doubled or tripled with the falling bricks. They couldn't fall behind- they had to keep moving. No where was safe.

Barely missing a large slab of wall which collapsed next to Dipper, the twins flew out of the billowing dust of the alleyway. They stood in a small park clearing, where the tree jostled back and forth.

"Dipper!"

Mabel was pointing to a hill above town. Dipper's eyes trained on the hill, their feet barely able to support them against the ground. Eyes shaking in his socket, he could barely make out what she was pointing to at first. Then he noticed the hill was growing.

The shaking, all at once stopped.

"Everyone okay?!" A voice quickly called into the walkie-talkie.

"We are okay," Candy was quickly to reply.

"I'm good. Just a little shaken up- uh, bad pun, sorry guys," Soos said.

"We're good," Dipper stated, "dusty. Wendy? you okay?"

A moment later, the redhead replied. "I'm good. You guys saw it, right?"

"Huh? Saw what?" Mabel asked as Dipper held the Walkie-Talkie.

"The hill, north of town, near the mountains," Wendy explained.

"We saw something happen," Dipper admitted, "not sure what. We'll go check it out. In the meantime, go help people."

Several replies of recognition came for Dipper, as he and his sister found another nearby alleyway and rushed out of it.

The streets of Gravity Falls were horrible. Just as bad as three years ago, the town had been reduced to crumbles and panicked folks running in the streets. Several police cruises had been flipped over entirely. The twins spotted the Sheriff and Deputy climbing out of one of the cars, shaking, but otherwise okay.

Several buildings, including the old church, had been split down the middle. The town center had been cracked severely. The Candy shop had been semi-caved in, and the library had lost all of the glass in it's windows. In fact, as Dipper scanned around quickly, almost all the windows in town had shattered.

"C'mon!" Mabel pulled him along.

"I'm coming-"

With a resounding explosion equal to a hundred sticks of dynamite, the bulging hill outside of town ruptured like a volcano. The twins skidded to a halt, their mouths agape as they watched a shower of fresh earth and torn trees fly into the air. Dust and rock flew skyward, and began to rain down. Mabel started to look for cover, but Dipper couldn't look away.

Something was _in_ the explosion, tossing off dirt and loose roots. Something enormous.

"Dipper! MOVE-" Mabel saw it too and gasped.

It was roughly fifty feet tall, and standing on two large digitigrades feet. It had large, sweeping shoulders and two large bulky arms. Completing the for of the beast was a huge, Lupin head. As Dipper and Mabel stared at it, letting the dirt in the air settle, they realized that it wasn't covered in fur- or skin at all. It was entirely made of vines, roots, and bark.

"A... golem?!" Dipper shouted.

His outcry caught the attention of many fleeing residents and families. They slowed, and turned. An entire town of two thousand and so souls stared up on the hill at the monster, standing amidst the trees with near equal height.

"It's shaped like a werewolf," Mabel pointed out after a gulp.

As if the beast heard her, it clenched its clawed hands and then shot it's head into the sky, unleashing a blood-curdling howl that rocked the air itself. Anyone who had been watching screamed and began to flee. Dipper and Mabel stood alone, amidst a fleeing crowd as the mutation of a golem and a werewolf started to march towards town.

"OUT OF THE WAY!"

The twins spun around. Arline was shoving past the crowd as hard as she could, sometimes knocking people aside in her desperation to get to the twins. Sweat poured down her face as she continued to glance up at the coming monster.

"Master, what do we-" Mabel started to call. Arline wasn't one to sit around though. She darted past the twins, now unhindered by fleeing crowds. The massive monster had only just reached the edge of town, a wicked grin on it's face. The twins gasped as Arline flashed her arms against one another, and fire erupted by her arms. She was going to fight this thing.

"No way!" Mabel shouted, and she raced forward. Dipper shouted, seeing his sister approach the monster was the last thing he needed. Yet he followed her, racing after his charging sister.

Ahead, Arline's arms blazed as burning logs would- letting off ash and smoke as she raced down the street. The twins saw her mesh her arms together, and in an instant, compress all the fire into one tiny ball, and throw it forward. The soft-ball sized ball struck the leg of the monster and exploded like a grenade.

She hadn't needed to catch the attention of the monster. It was already looking towards them, and with Arline's first attack, it made up its mind to retaliate. With uncanny speed to its size it punched downwards. Arline barely had the time to stop and jump aside. The cracking and crumbling asphalt shattered at the punch, sending an entire wave of broken street towards the twin.

The vicious ripple of destruction forced Dipper to dive aside with his sister, their vision blurred with dirt and crumble asphalt, and their ears deafened by the impact of the fist on the street. There was no time to remain on the ground though. The two quickly stood up, and turned their attention to the massive beast.

"What the heck do we do against this?!" Mabel shouted at Dipper.

"Find a weakness!" he suggested in a furious shout. Mabel gasped and glanced up. Pebbles were falling over their head, and a shadow cascaded over them. "MABEL!" Dipper screamed as he dived with her _again_.

The foot stomped down right where they had been. Wind and debris were tossed around them, scraping at their arms and legs like sheer blades. Dipper was able to spy past the attacking limb to the other side of the street, where a woman was running around to the back of the monster. Arline was still rushing at her fastest.

"We need to get it out of town!" she shouted, conjuring more fire with a flick of each of her arms.

"Yeah!" Dipper nodded. "Mabel?" he turned to his sister, checking with her. Her own gaze confirmed her strength was willing.

"Let's do it- mystery twin style," she dared a grinned.

"Right, I got an idea," Dipper said, and turned back towards the fleeing crowds, "keep fighting it with Arline!" he told her, and spun off towards an abandoned logging truck.

"Sure! That's..." Mable turned to the beast, towering above her and gulped, "easy."

It was lifting it's foot for another stomp on her. Then another one of Arline's fireballs struck its shoulder with a shuddering boom. The beast, now with two mildly crispy patches on it's body, turned furiously to her.

"That's right, big 'n ugly," Arline shouted as she started walking backwards, clutching the condensed ball of fire in her other hand, "this way."

Mabel took her chance the moment it turned from her. Her action swift and precise, she lifted her hand to the opposite side of the street and pulled the trigger of her gun. Only a split second passed between her pulling that trigger and her lurching forward and upwards, towards the small water tankard she had shot at. Dodging the edge of the roof of the building, Mabel slid to a stop on the rooftops, and raced to the edge. With another jump off the side of the building, she then lifted herself into the air, and flew towards the beasts shoulder.

Dipper ran after the fleeing crowds, now desperate in finding a place they all deemed worthy to hide or scamper towards. He pitied them- aside from a few well-hidden bunkers, there wasn't much left in the means of this level of protection in town. But he had to think for the battle at the moment, and not for the fears of those fleeing.

"Dipper!"

Candy and Grenda skidded to a halt when they rushed past him.

"Hey! Dummy! Fight's that way?!" Grenda pointed to the monstrous wold-like golem.

"I know," he told her, "I'm bringing back up!" Arriving to the side of the cockpit of the eighteen wheeler, Dipper wrenched himself upwards, towards the driver seat. As he had expected with the low rumble next to him, the engine was still on and the key was still in.

"You're going to ram in?" Candy asked with a gasp, watching Dipper check the vehicles condition.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, and looked to her, "help me out you two."

"Ohh, do I get to steer it?" Grenda rubbed her hands together excitedly as she and her friend approached.

"No one is," Dipper glanced over his shoulder, "this is going to auto-pilot. I want this to be a solid payload of logs into that things face."

"Just as cool, so I'm still in!" Grenda cheered.

"I can rig the wheel to be remote controlled from a distance of seven miles," Candy said as she adjusted her glasses. Dipper stalled and looked at her, blinking. "What?" she reached into her backpack, and withdrew a remote control. "I like robots."

"Sweet. Just do what you can to make sure it can be steered from a safe distance," Dipper told her, "Grenda, help her out."

"You got it!" Grenda saluted as Candy struggled to get up the side of the tall cockpit. "UP!" Grenda shouted, and nearly threw the small girl up.

"Thanks!" Candy gasped, her hair mildly frazzled from the unexpected movement.

Dipper had little time to monitor them. He needed to make sure there was some form of counterweight to this procedure. He wasn't going to ram it, he was going to send the entire load of logs into the golem. Every single one of the thirty foot long, meter thick logs would be a weapon against his enemy.

"Dipper!"

Wendy and Soos had also arrived. Wendy was wearing her hat tightly around her head, and, as Dipper had expected, wasn't breaking a sweat. Soos, on the otherhand, was sweating and looked more pale than he usually did. His eyes peered ahead, staring up at the monstrous creature.

"Aww dude, this doesn't look too good," he shakily said, biting at his nails with his longer two front teeth.

"Maybe not now," Dipper told them with a confident smile, "but we're going to give it a heck of a welcome basket."

"What's the plan?" Wendy asked.

"This," Dipper padded the side of the purring truck, "we're going to crash this thing and use these logs like spears."

"Wait, what?" Wendy and Soos gasped.

"We need to loosen the back couplings by a margin, and then the front ones by a lot- that way they still have direction to go when all their kinetic energy is directed forward," Dipper explained as he pointed to the truck, "then they crash through the cockpit, and hopefully do some damage to it's leg, or maybe knee."

"So... a heck of a payload," Soos thought to himself. "I got the front load!" He said and rushed forward.

"I'll help you here," Wendy said, moving with Dipper to the closest set of large clamps.

"Thanks Wendy," Dipper said as he made for the side of the truck, and Wendy hoisted herself up above him on the logs with an agile leap.

"So, uh," Wendy asked, as she held the rope steady while Dipper fiddled with the clamps, "chances of survival?"

"I'd give us two out of five," Dipper shrugged as he slowly adjusted the metal bindings.

"That high?" Wendy grinned down at him. Dipper dared a glance to her, and instantly felt his cheeks warm as her green eyes met his brown. "Uh, dude, you can stare at my face another time," she said with a shrug towards the crashing threat down the street.

"Right," Dipper sighed and shook his head.

"You know, not that I'm, uh, complaining," Wendy shrugged, lowering her face to a level Dipper couldn't see. He stared at her.

"You... don't?" he asked.

"Well, uh," Wendy shrugged, still not looking to him, "I mean, you try living a life where boys don't know you exist any more, and not appreciate a _little_ attention then and again."

"Oh," Dipper sighed and nodded, mildly crestfallen, "I, uh getcha. And," he tugged at the large lever with a tug, "there!" he pulled and the rope stretched gently. "You... you could have sent me mail or something, you know," Dipper told Wendy. She looked down to him, confused. "You know, if you wanted. When you were feeling alone."

"Dude, the official records are that I'm dead," Wendy told Dipper, "you'd think that someone may have seen my name and wondered what was up."

"...R-right," Dipper stuttered, and shrugged. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Wendy waved a hand to him, and then jumped.

The two stood before one another. A moment passed as they did so, unflinchingly looking into each other's faces as the screams of terror far behind Dipper drifted into the air, and the loud shattering crunches of a golem's footsteps shook the earth. It was a strange, dream-like state the two shared, looking at one another.

After staring into each other's eyes for a few long moments, they both made to speak at the same time.

"Wendy-"

"Dipper-"

"Incase- well- I just wanted to let you know-" they both said.

"I'm just really happy with where-" Dipper started.

"I can't tell you how much I'm thankful for-" Wendy said.

"Hey dudes," Soos called to them both, shaking them from their babble of words. "Truck's ready up ahead!"

"Okay," Dipper shook his head. Giving Wendy once last look, he rushed past her. The two trailed behind him as he made it to Candy and Grenda. "How does she look?" Dipper asked as he called up to the cockpit.

"Ready to go in a second," Candy muttered just loud enough to be heard over the chaos. The wires exposed with the computer chip of the steering mechanics, Candy turned, and dropped down from the chair. "We can move it now."

"Everyone get back!" Dipper shouted. He and his cluster of allies all started to step back, and he checked the status of his target. It was stable, and still in the middle of the road. He then turned and gave the nod to Candy. "Go!" She in turn nodded, and lifted up her remote control device- a makeshift old cellphone with a small joystick inserted into the number pad.

"Engine revving up," Candy told Dipper, and the large, thick wheels of the truck began to spin.

Dipper grinned and looked back to the monster. He watched it flail as Arline threw fireball after fireball at the chest, where the blast of fire and smoke caused minor sonic booms. Then, as he watched the thing flail, he saw her. Mabel. She was still on the monster- the one he intended crashing an eighteen wheeler into.

"Wait!" Dipper held a hand to Candy, but the wheels continued to spin, "slow it down!"

"Huh?" she whipped her head to him. "I- you wanted a break control?"

"What do you mean?!" Dipper shouted at her, "you can't slow it!"

"You said you were just going to crash it," Candy said quietly.

Dipper cursed loudly, spun away from his friends, and began to dash do the street. He didn't have time to let fatigue or wear from the day slow him down. His sister's life could depend on him warning her. She was busy, punching and kicking the base of the large golem's neck as hard as she could. Sadly, effort to effect, she wasn't accomplishing much.

The loud screech of wheels behind Dipper told him the breaks had been broken away- and the truck rushed forward.

"MABEL!" Dipper screamed.

She still fought, using her grappling hook to swing from one side to the other.

He saw her fall again- a flash from the past in a world that never truly existed- in a game brought to life by the power of demonic magic- watching her fall slowly and strike the ground in a cloud of dust.

His throat tore and his lungs screamed for release as he clenched down on his diaphragm as hard as he could and screamed as the truck raced past him, slamming aside one of the abandoned cars to the side of the road.

"MAAABLEE!"

She heard him, and spun.

"Oh gummy bears," she muttered as the truck made it's mark, and struck true.

The truck did exactly as Dipper had hoped. The front engine crumpled against the sheer thickness of the golem's huge leg. Thick, coarse gasoline ignited with heat and fumes- and the front of the truck exploded. The golem howled, and began to fall backwards. Before it could topple entirely back, the package on the back thrust forward as planned. Soaring forward, seven of the logs struck true- the rest flew past the wrecked truck as flaming spears.

Arline barely ducked past their wrath, and rolled aside as embers and flame soared above her.

Dipper still hadn't stopped running. He had to make sure she could land- now matter what that meant for him. She was falling now; falling with the golem. He could see her eyes dart around, desperate for a way out. It was only with the quick thinking that Mabel Pines could do that allowed her to spot something, point her grappling hook at it, and fired.

It wouldn't save her completely. Dipper saw the grappling hook shoot out in that split second like a uncoiling viper strike out. It would only make Mabel fall at an angle now. He had to go even faster.

Her hook made it's mark, and so she fell towards the wall. Dipper angled himself, jumping towards the corner of the building just in time. Without his catch and shove, Mabel's back and spin would have met, full-force, with the strong marble edge of the building. His brave actions weren't without consequence though. Dipper stumbled with his sister and the two tumbled and landed against the hard sidewalk, crumpling into a pile atop one another.

"Oww..." Mabel groaned.

"Yeah, I'll say," Dipper grumbled. He looked up to his sister, still lying on his chest. "You okay?"

"Uh... yeah. I don't feel much, but that might be thankfulness for not dying, you know?" she shrugged. Dipper chuckled and leaned back.

_Casual Mabel, as usual._

She lifted herself up in an instant then, and turned to offer a hand to him. He took it with a clap of the hands, and stood. The two of them grinned at each other, alive and pleased.

At least until the shadow of a large golem began rising again.

"What?!" Dipper shouted, turning to the monster. The legs, having been bashed and burned horribly, seemed to be recovering at an astonishing rate. Dipper watched as vines grew over and replaced injured ones, and broken layers of deeper tissue fell away, replaced by new ones. "It's... healing!?"

"Yeah, we kind of realized that fire seemed to be the best at dealing with it," Mabel chuckled sadly, "I was going to tell you, but..."

"Damn it!" Dipper ran out.

He needed a new plan, something else to throw at this monster. If fire was the weakness, he needed more fire. Across the now standing beast, Arline had quickly gained her footing, looking between the beast and the twins across from it.

"That didn't work as well as I'd hope," Arline admitted loudly as the wolf-golem turned to her.

"Arline, if we start burning it up, could you control the fire as a weapon?" Dipper called to her. She blinked, but nodded. "Good!" he turned, and grabbed Mabel's shoulder, and with her, ran back to their friends, who had already begun to rush after the twins.

"So, explosion, check. Dead monster, not check," Soos worriedly admitted, "the heck we do, dudes?"

"Anyone got a rocket launcher with it's name on it?" Wendy suggested.

"I'm thinking a bit more old school," Dipper admitted. "Anyone like cocktails?"

"You drink?" Mabel asked Dipper with a overly-shocked gasp, "mom spoils you!"

"Molotov?" Candy suggested.

"Exactly," Dipper said, and checked around him. There was a liquor store next to them. "I'm not a fan of looting, but we need some strong drinks."

"Now you're speaking my language," Wendy grinned and winked. She patted Grenda's thick shoulder, "c'mon hulk. We'll grab them, and some towels to light them with."

"I call one or two to _actually_ drink!" Grenda demanded as she and Wendy rushed into the store.

"So," Dipper turned back to the monster, which had fully stood up. "What's the attack strategy here?"

"Easy," Mabel said, "I take Candy up with me along the side of the building. Wendy counters there," Mabel pointed to the other side of the building, "and with the cocktails, we toss 'em in it's face. While we blind it, the rest of you guys light it's body up."

"So just hit it from all angles, and let Arline go all animal on it?" Dipper said, watching the monster get hit again and again from Arline's fireballs.

"I like the idea," Soos shrugged, "less chance for us to get squashed."

"Special delivery!" Grenda called as she and Wendy rushed over, each pushing over a rattling metal shopping cart filled to their brim with strong drinks and torn rags from the store.

"I'm going to need some ID," Wendy said in a strange, serious tone.

"I didn't bring a wallet," Mabel winked.

"Start loading up!" Dipper ordered, grabbing the wraps of cloth and sticking them into the opened ends of bottles.

Quickly they assembled a large pile of these fire-based thrown weapons, and were just about to start loading them up. Dipper had everyone grab a minimum of three, and then ordered positions. Wendy, Mabel, and Candy would take to the buildings and hit it's sides at a height, just as planned. Soos and Grenda would stay behind, tossing the unused bottles at it's feet, as to create a massive pool of flame. Dipper, before the alcohol was lit, would run towards Arline, and toss as many as he could at the legs of the beast.

With one quick look among them all, Dipper called high into the air with a resounding marshaling cry, "Split!"

Mabel and Candy were off quickly enough. With the impressive grappling hook in action, the soared into the air with limited resistance. Wendy, her body already athletic before becoming a member of the undead, was able to scale the side of a building with scaffolding an a scary pace.

Dipper raced ahead, cradling three drinks in one arm as best he could. Behind him, Soos and Grenda took positions, and prepared to hurl their glasses as best they could. One of the logs Dipper passed already burned and sizzled with fire from the gasoline explosion.

"Thanks," Dipper told the log, using the fire to light one of the torn rags in the bottles. Lit, ready and willing, Dipper threw the first of many bottles.

It shattered along the knee of the golem. Fire spread along the lower leg, burning and boiling the wooden limb. As he threw the glass bottle, four more explosions along the body followed, igniting the body of the golem into flame. Screeching in agony and fury, the Golem swatted at it's sides, trying to put out the fire.

"Nice!" Arline said, stepping up to Dipper as he threw another one. She also threw her own fireballs, which were much more dramatic, but less over-all effective than the constant burning effects of scorching spirits.

Dipper had only gotten to throw his second bottle when the Golem retaliated. It spied Arline and Dipper, and once again punched down. Dipper hadn't been ready- retaliated wasn't part of his plan. Arline however was quick to reply for him. She shoved him back with her. The fist slammed into the earth, blowing a wall of sheer wind around. Part of the arm which had been part of the pyre went out. As Dipper stumbled back and fell, his last bottle fell aside, cracking and splashing it's unlit liquid aside.

"Damn!" Dipper shouted, and looked ahead. Arline still stood, and the two watched in horror as the golem made a revelation. It turned it's gaze, somewhat clouded by smoke from it's own smoldering body, towards the burning log. A sneer grew along it's writhing, vine face as it reached over and grasped the log.

"... Uh-oh," Arline gulped as the Golem lifted the log up with it. The shadow of the log and the arm hovered over the two. "RUN!" she shouted, and pulled Dipper with her. The log smashed and splintered into the ground with a mighty crash.

Dipper rolled aside as two foot sized splinters and chunks of wood and mulch flew past him and Arline. They had dived over a car and watched as the Golem reached down with the other hand and lifted a second log.

"We armed it," Dipper sighed and clapped a hand to his face, "freakin' great. Who's genius idea was that?!"

"Move on from it," Arline told him, and peered over to the wall. The golem turned it's gaze for Wendy. "Oh no! WENDY! JUMP!" Arline shouted.

Wendy, if she had heard or not, did so just in time. The weapon-ized log smashed downwards into the building, splitting it into two with a shattering clash. She head leapt form her perch among the scaffolding, and flew some thirty feet down. Brick, glass, metal and piping all fell with her as the entire region she had been standing amidst crumbled to the earth. She landed with a loud thud, an injury that could have killed anyone. But the girl merely scrambled to her feet, dodging a large clump of building just in time.

The log split in half from the attack, the wolf-golem snarled and tossed it far behind it, and a large section of wood- nearly four feet long- spiraled deeper into town. It fell from sight and crashed into more buildings, followed by resounding screams.

Dipper watched the Golem with terror now. This thing was built to destroy. It was large enough and strong enough to lift even solid logs and fling them around as weapons. What the heck did they do!?

His eyes squinted as something glistened out from the center of the beasts chest. Dipper stared as he stood up fully, wanting as much clout as possible when staring at this object.

"There!" Dipper pointed to the chest. "There's something there!"

"Great," Arline turned to him, desperation in her eyes, "I'm glad you spotted something. What does that give us?!"

"I don't know!" Dipper shouted back at her, "Can you give that area one, I dunno, super-blast?"

Arline laughed, leapt over the car, and clasped her hands together. Rather than pulling them away though, she held them together, the fire from her bracers continuing to spiral into her cupped palms. Like a star being born, fire grew and shrunk in her hands, radiating a stark orange light from her finger tips. "Try this!" She shouted, and with a toss that would make a pro-baseball pitcher proud, she tossed the condensed fireball.

Her attack was effectively the same as a tank-shot. The creature had screamed- a different sound than previously. Not deep and resonant, but high pitched squeal indicating serious pain. The chest smoked and billowed a dark cloud. As the golem reeled forward and caught itself in mid-fall by scraping at the building Mabel and Candy stood atop, Dipper could see the shimmering object.

It was a huge, ten foot-tall crystal. A ten-sided plumbob in shape, the pale-green crystal grew out the roots and vines from the top and bottom points. It shimmered and, as Dipper studied it in the short moments it was revealed, seemed to reverberate. He had more than one guess that the heart of the monster was in that crystal.

"We need another one of those!" Dipper turned to Arline, who Dipper noticed for the first time seeing her, noticed she was sweating.

"Sure, gimme a second," she shook her head, swiping away her droplets along the sides of her face, "I'll just charge another one of those in an instant and-"

A shadow passed over them again. Dipper and Arline stepped back naturally, readying to dodge again if necessary. Yet they blinked. The golem had only just started to stand back up- it's wound barely healed.

Roaring above them all, and diving from the clouds, a huge winged animal dived down and swooped down the street, eliciting more screams from the terrified residents of Gravity Falls.

With a trumping roar, the purple-scaled dragon opened it's maw as it flew overhead and spat down a huge fireball. A sickening squeal of pain followed as the fire met with the magical roots and vines. The golem, for the first time since the explosion, fully collapsed down, narrowly missing Arline and Dipper, who stepped quickly aside.

Above them, Mabel stepped to the side of the building and pointed up. "It's Magenta!" she screamed.

The dragon made it's return to the street, coming to a land some thirty feet before Dipper. To his shock, a girl clad in purple and wearing old-fashioned biker-goggles leapt down. "Oh sure, let's ignore the rider who organized all of that, thanks Mabel," the blond girl said as she hurried closer, being followed by the dragon.

"Pacifica!" Mabel shouted from the building, waving her arm above her head in a greeting.

"What are you doing here, Pacifica?" Dipper demanded. She glared up at him, her height still slightly lower than his. Nonetheless, she glared up at him, her cold eyes digging into him. "What? I asked-"

Without warning, she jabbed him in the stomach. Dipper gasped and recoiled, stepping away from her.

"Wh-what the heck!?" he demanded as Arline stepped between them.

"You ever think that the things he did weren't for him!?" she shouted at Dipper. Dipper blinked and stood up fully, his own cold feelings creeping into his veins. "Maybe you'd remember that he's probably the most selfless person you've ever met?"

"If he was selfless, he wouldn't have-"

"Children, we can argue about Yuki another day!" Arline shouted between them. "Right now, we still have," she turned and pointed to the stirring golem.

"Right," Pacifica puffed a bang of her hair out from her face and looked at Arline, "it's a fusion-golem. Yuki says that he's been monitoring it with my dad's radio dish."

"Yuki's been living with _you_?" Dipper demanded. Pacifica threw a deadly glance at Dipper, but continued talking.

"He says that it's a construct that takes the best of werewolf resilience, and golem mindless task-given orders. It'll keep attacking the town forever. But, in order for it to keep working, it-"

"The crystal in it's chest has to be broken," Dipper cut her off, "I guessed that part on my own."

Arline turned to him. "What crystal?"

"OR," Pacifica shouted, "or... you cut off the source of orders."

"Huh?" Dipper and Arline turned to her. Behind them, the pitter-patter of feet approaching heralded Mabel's arrival.

"Hi!" she said to Pacifica, "What I miss?"

"Yuki says that this thing is being controlled by a radio source. He says that it originates under town, by a large vertical shaft in the mines. He was able to triangulate it with my dads-"

"Radio, we got it," Dipper answered for her.

"Aww, you had Yuki stay with you?" Mabel swooned. Pacifica went pink in the cheeks, but she made no comment to Mabel's words.

"Anyway, it's underground. He says a machine that can emit strong enough signals like this would be hard to miss. I think you guys can do that a bit better than taking mother natures angry second cousin here on."

Dipper turned and glanced back to the slowly recovering beast. Certainly, he and his crew had done some damage, but nothing had seemed permanent. Now, with the dragon fire eating away at the vine faster than it could heal, maybe... maybe Pacifica had a chance.

"How did-" he started to ask her.

"I was watching this from the manor. That thing takes a hit and keeps going. You guys need to find the source and mess it up!" she shouted, and spun around, nearly whipping the three with her long blond hair, "let me take care of big and angry."

Dipper raised his eyebrows. "You sure you can take it? If you were watching, you'd know that it's pretty resistant to damage."

After jumping onto a newly-made saddle on the dragon, Pacifica scoffed and adjusted her hair. "And if you'd pay attention, you'd realize that I'm riding the scariest of all scary monsters: A dragon."

"Fair point," the twins muttered in unison.

"Pacifica," Arline pointed to her, "you lead this thing to the edge of town if you can, but no heroism. No one needs to get any more hurt today, got it?!"

"Pfft, as if I do anything really heroic, anyway," Pacifica muttered before kicking off with her dragon into the sky. Leaving the three to cover their eyes as they stared skyward, Pacifica and Magenta the Dragon hurtled into the skyline, and prepared to bomb the monster again.

"Guys!"

Lead by Soos, the others finally arrived. They had made a nice, wide circle around the fallen golem, and only arrived as Pacifica left. Breathing heavily, he held his knees in his hands and begged them, "what's next?"

"I..." Dipper turned away, looking at the hill which the golem had emerged. It was deep and cavernous. It lead somewhere, which meant it came from somewhere else. Dipper closed his eyes, knowing what he would have to do. He turned back to the four. "Start helping people stay out of danger while Pacifica deals with the golem."

"What!?" the four gasped.

"Hold on guys," Dipper started, but Mabel stepped up to the plate.

"This guy, if the warlock nut-job, is really downstairs waiting for us, we'll need you guys to come rescue us. We can't send the whole army down there, or else if we lose once, we lose for all time. Just wait for a bit, and then come down." The four stared at her, eyes wide with shock. She had just _reasoned_ with them. With a shrug and grin, she added, "You could go help people escape to cover!" she suggested with a grin.

Candy and Grenda quickly nodded. "You got it Mabel!" they saluted and ran off, using one of the near-by alleys to escape for cover.

"I'm going to grab Mister Pines!" Soos said to them, "he'll come help you guys out!" Soos shouted.

"Fly, you fool!" Dipper told him. Soos nodded, turned, and fled down the street, dodging a step from the rising golem.

"I'll... yeah, I'll go help people," Wendy shrugged, and turned.

"But, what if they-" Dipper started. Wendy spun around, looking to him.

"Hey, people say in times of crisis, spirits come to help out. Maybe I can scare them to go a way I don't want them to go?" She shrugged. Dipper chuckled, and winked to her. Wendy saluted to him. "Just... don't get hurt down there, okay?" she told him, "Don't go anywhere I can't find a way to follow you."

"Roger that," Dipper nodded.

Then, with a silent agreement to the three, Dipper, Mabel, and Arline spun away from the blazing Wolf-Golem and charged towards the hill. In only half a minute, Magenta the Dragon had soared twice overhead, breathing down the golem. A minute after that, the three dropped down into the darkness and what would await them.

* * *

What awaits in the darkness? Answers coupled with riddles, flushed with danger, and swooped with a hint of betrayal. The perfect recipe for a second half of a chapter this dramatic, no?

And that's right! I'm back on the normal schedule!

I'd like to apologize to you all, first of all: you all have a TON of reviews you've submitted since my computer pooped out on me. I'm going to try my best to get to them all, but I'll be at it for a while. If I see you've done more than one, I'm probably just going to go right to your most recent updated review. Other than that, I'll be responding in hurried fashion late Sunday to you all!

Remember, next week- same time, same place.

-EZB

PS: Mvcg vkrhlwv, hlnvlmv wrvh.


	54. Operation Search and Destroy: Part 2

Inside the cavernous hole and beneath the quaking ground that was the surface of Gravity Falls, three figures slid down a steep slope of loose earth. The flickering and dust-pattered sunlight flooded from above, bringing stark realization to their surroundings- a massive hole clawed from hand, or at least wolf-plant paw.

"Look at these," Dipper Pines pointed, indicating a large incision of earth to their far sides. "It was just ripping apart rock like paper."

"Guy was mad, and wanted out of all this good tilled earth," Mabel suggested, sliding past him as she surfed down the silt.

"It's not tilled," Dipper pointed out with a sigh.

"We can discuss the conditions of soil later," Arline said loudly, her choice bouncing around as she too slid past Dipper.

"Right, yeah," he nodded and followed, neither as graceful nor hasty as the two fighters.

Twenty feet below his original spot, Dipper slipped next to Mabel and Arline, peering into the first section of the massive tunnel. As was with the hole behind them, the tunnel was at an angle, and carved out by claws. Carving from the rock were dying pieces of plant and vine- evidence of the passing golem. Not that they needed to know that- the pounding footsteps and shrieks of battle still echoed to them.

"C'mon," Dipper urged them, passing by his sister with a passionate haste. "I think they'll be able to beat it on the surface, but we should still find what's waiting for us."

"Lead the way," Arline said, glancing behind them once. Mabel followed, keeping in pace with her brother.

"I'm worried," she said with a worried look to the vanishing entrance, the surroundings growing darker, "about Zander."

"What?" Arline asked, one eyebrow raised higher than the other as she looked to her student with disbelief. "We're traveling underground to find the enemy of town, and you're worried about the rock-star?"

"Prettiest rock-star," Mabel corrected her, "and yeah. He... he didn't seem like the kind of guy who'd skip out on something this important."

"Yeah, sure," Arline shrugged.

"Mabel's got a point," Dipper agreed, but continued walking forward with a pointed angel, "he always was interested with this sort of thing. Now he's not here. Then again," Dipper slowed, taking a short second to think, "he... he did also miss Graupner's attack on-"

"Dipper!" Mabel gasped and slapped his shoulder, "you don't really think that he's involved with any of this evil-no good-rotten-bad stuff?"

Dipper glanced at her, a frown adorned; descriptive Mabel, at her best. "I mean, I don't want to think so, but-"

"Let's just keep going," Arline cut in, nearly pushing Mabel along.

"Uh," Dipper glanced at her, and she whipped her gaze away. "Sure," Dipper nodded and glanced once to his sister, expecting an explanation. A roll of the eyes- 'ohh, she's like that sometimes', or a shrug- 'just deal with it'. Nothing. Mabel stared back, a wide-eye surprise.

Dipper continued down the tunnel, distracted and upset about it. He had dealt with that kind of behavior before. The twins had dealt with it before- with Grunkle Stan. The cut-ins to their talk, the refusal to look them in the eye when talking... Dipper knew it well. Arline had hidden something once before.

Could she be hiding something again?

Before Dipper could say something, she passed him. The thought of betrayal lingering in his mind, Dipper stepped forward and after her. The he spotted, far down the path, a source of light.

"There," he pointed ahead.

"Florescent light," Arline guessed as the three slowed to stop.

"Nerd-light," Mabel grumbled.

"Probably means we're about to walk right into a secret, dangerous, underground laboratory," Dipper acknowledged.

"Or a mythical subway station- lost to time and space!" Mabel added.

"Uh, no, probably not," Dipper told her with a grimace.

"Whatever it is, we're finding out," Arline told them, and marched on ahead.

The twins followed in her footsteps, having the coming lights grow brighter and brighter until they found themselves stepping in glass shards and torn metal sheets imbedded into the loose earth. The three paused, staring at the wreckage of what could have only been a former wall, and they all peaked inside.

Dipper was about to speak, until Arline pulled both twins back. Resisting for a moment, Dipper pulled her hand away from his mouth. "What gives?" he demanded.

With a curt nod back to the destroyed wall, Dipper and Mabel peeked back inside, and spot the trouble immediately. Several men in suits, all wearing sunglasses, ties, and most importantly, armed with pistols. Before pulling back into the tunnel, the twins finally had a quick glance about.

The guarded room was a large antechamber, nearly sixty feet tall and covered with electronic panels. Half of the panels, in particular, those closest to the twins, had been smashed and shattered. Lines of consoles and keyboards lined the walls, a dazzling array of technology that stunned Dipper and outright bemused Mabel. In the center were the remains of some kind of glass chamber. In the ceiling and floor large, amber panels of cracked glass shone with scattered orange and red light.

"Okay, great, we found a lab," Dipper grumbled as he pulled back into the tunnel.

"But no dorks to work it," Mabel tacked on with a scoff, "just a bunch of sweat-freaks with guns."

"Sweat-freaks?" Dipper asked as Arline snorted. Mabel looked to Arline and shrugged.

"It's what I call people who work out to look busy or 'cool'," Arline explained. "Guess Mabel liked it."

"Uh, sure, okay," Dipper shook his head and looked back inside again. On some of the paneling, he saw a sentence glide across the screen. "Look," Dipper pointed to the monitor from the shadows. "Operation Search and Destroy is under way."

"Search and destroy," Arline hummed to herself, "search for what?!"

"I don't know," Dipper gulped.

"Duh," Mabel rolled her eyes, "the portal?"

"What- they know about the portal, but not where it is?" Dipper asked Mabel, who shrugged. "Yeah right," Dipper shook his head, "having a harder time believing that."

"Well then, mister too-smarty-tarty-pants," Mabel said, rocking her head side to side, "what do you think they're looking for?"

Dipper said nothing, but turned back to the monitors. "I don't know, but we will soon. We need to look at those computers."

"Yeah?" Arline asked, and glanced past time. "Well, we need a distraction then."

"Leave that to me," Mabel said. Without another word, she cracked her knuckles, stretched her neck, and then casually began to walk inside.

"Ma-" Dipper started, but Arline held a hand to his shoulder. Her eyes were serious, but confident. His fear for his twin sister eased slightly, and the two turned and at first watched.

"Excuse me, Gentlemen," Mabel asked as she turned around the shattered glass casing, "which direction to the ladies room?"

The four gasped and turned, reaching for their pistols before they said anything else. Arline took her cue and rushed forward, leaving Dipper to catch up.

No sooner had the closest to Mabel removed the pistol to the ground than Mabel leapt back, clearing another three feet from them. She hadn't been worried for being shot, albeit a danger she _was_ in, but instead to clear the way for someone else. Arline's heel came zooming from the left, smashing the face of the closest to Mabel aside. A single moment of whip-lash, and the guard collapsed.

"Stop her-"

Focused on the girl, Dipper and Mabel moved in as well.

From the side, Dipper struck out at the knee of the closest guard to him, a tall and broad-shouldered blond man. He cried out as the sole of Dipper's foot collided with his knee-cap, and his entire leg buckled. Exactly what Dipper had wanted, he shot his knee up, driving force to the man's face. Only the man was ready. He blocked the knee with his own arm, and pushed Dipper aside, causing the teen to dance for balance.

Mabel on the other hand had chosen a different tactic- dove-bomb. She screamed like a warrior princess and lunged, going airborne over ten feet. Her smaller weight and size was less of an impact to her target, but it gave her a chance to climb onto the man, pull on his ears, hair, nose- anything to get him off-balance. Reaching an index finger and middle finger into his nostrils and a hand on his jaw, she yanked back and forced the man to stumble.

Dipper ducked under from a jab. The man, even on one knee, could fight. Another hook was dodged by the apt male twin. Then the man grasped for his pistol, and Dipper spun, kicking him in the arm. Already twisted at a poor angle, the heel connected with the arm, and a loud, sickening pop loudly snapped from the shoulder. The security guard screamed. Fury driven in his eyes, he dived for Dipper, who stepped back.

Mabel was slammed against one of the terminals with a loud clatter. Snapped off keys from a keyboard fell aside, and Mabel peered down on at them, only aware lightly that her back was sore. "Ohh! Those would make great necklaces!" she said off-handedly, now in a chokehold with the guard, hanging off his neck with her arms firmly locked around his throat.

"Now's not the time to think about that stuff!" Dipper shouted, side-stepping the lunge and punching the guard's face with his own jab.

"But think about it Dipper!" Mabel protested, slammed into the wall again, "ow! We could have one say- OW! One saying 'Raiders of The Lost Twin', and- OW!" Mabel winced at the last impact, the man throwing his entire weight into the screen, which cracked down the middle. Mabel shook her head, and then smiled with her usual grin, "and the other could say 'The Temple of Boom'!"

"The temple of Boom'?" Dipper repeated, catching the retaliatory fist and slamming it down to the ground. "That's lame," Dipper rolled his eyes, and kicked up.

"You try thinking of something while doing- doing this!" Mabel scolded him as her grappler slowly began to fall to the ground, his eyes bloodshot and far-sighted. "Nighty night stupidhead," she gently told her target as he fell to the floor. As he collapsed, she rolled off of him, and stood. "Got it Dipper?" she asked, as Dipper made one final punch.

"HA!" Dipper roared, striking out with a solid and direct punch. The man's head twisted back, and fell, unconscious. "Yeah, I'm good," he said after taking a long breath and standing up.

"You two took your time," a voice by the monitor directed the twins. Arline had moved over to one of the remaining functional keyboards, and was busy typing away.

"What- you were done the entire time?" Dipper asked, befuddled.

"Yup."

"And you didn't help?"

"Well, duh, no," Mabel shrugged, walking past Dipper towards her master, "she's got to let us newbies get a shot, right?"

"But this isn't training," Dipper pointed out, marching over with indignity, "we could have died!"

"Oh stop fussing," Arline rolled her eyes and glanced back to him, "you two had it. Those four had no chance once they panicked- which they did the instant they lost one."

"Well... you could have... still..." Dipper grumbled, both annoyed with her ability to quickly wrap up a fight without helping them, and her trust in the twins to take care of fully-grown men with deadly weapons. "Well, what have you found?"

"Ugh, nothing," Arline admitted, and indicated the screen, "it's asking for a password. This entire system is logged by a unique network and a system I've never seen before," she admitted, and pointed. "'O.S.C.T.'... Never heard of them before."

"Neither have I," Dipper said as he scratched his chin, "it must be some sort of development brand."

"Oh god, I never thought I'd hear my master talking as much nerd as my brother!" Mabel gasped and spun away, hands to her ears. Arline snorted and screwed her face tightly while Dipper scowled at his sister.

"Password," Dipper turned back and stared at the password selection. "Just a password. That makes things easier, I guess. No username to worry about. But... try 'power'," Dipper suggested.

Arline turned from him, and typed in the five letter word. Pressing enter however, the system popped up an error message. "Dang it. Three attempts before the terminal shuts down," Arline looked back to the two of them, "any other ideas?"

"Uh... Search And Destroy?" Dipper tried. Arline typed away, and the results were the same. "Maybe... oh! I got an idea! Try two-eight-zero-seven-two-zero-one-five!"

"Huh?" Arline and Mabel both asked.

"Today's date?" Dipper suggested.

"If you're European, maybe," Mabel snickered. Arline grinned, but punched in the numbers. Dipper crossed his fingers, and watched her punch the enter button.

The screen went black.

"Damn it!" Arline grumbled and pushed herself away from the screen. "Locked up."

"The others are working though," Dipper said, moving to another. "Mabel-"

"I'll just keep guard while you two do nerdy stuff on the computers," she said, and moved towards the door which the four guards had stood by.

"That, uh, works too," Dipper muttered as Arline passed by him towards another terminal.

Mabel leaning against the wall by the door, Dipper and Arline were able to work without interruption. However, the problem the two quickly encountered was a lack of ideas. Dipper had been forward with his information, but none of it was working. One by one, each terminal turned off, leaving them locked out by more and more of the computers that did work.

"C'mon!" Dipper angrily kicked at his last failed attempt. "There has to be something we're missing here! A passcode or..." Dipper, having been looking towards Arline saw Mabel in the reflection of the closest de-activated terminal. Still lying by her, but now tied up by the female twins doing, were the security guards. Dipper turned, scratching his chin. "I wonder..."

"I got guard duty bro," Mabel said as he came walking over. "Go do your computer hacking fun- hey, are you even-" Mabel added as Dipper leaned down next to the closest tied up guard, and began to frisk him. "Well, I mean, I guess he could have a wallet on him," Mabel shrugged.

"Not for his money," Dipper glanced at his sister quickly, a shake of his head to deter her thoughts. "Yes!" he gasped and ripped out a small note of paper. "Here we go," Dipper rushed to the closest computer, and read aloud the password he found. "H-A-D-D-I-Y-A," Dipper punched each letter, and pressed enter. "YES!"

The computer buzzed, and faded to a new dark blue. Four folders opened, two of which, to Dipper's disgust, also asked for Passwords.

"You got in!" Arline called, rushing over.

"Yeah, with this," Dipper held up the paper for Arline, still facing the screen.

"Haddiya," Arline muttered.

"What a lovely name," Mabel said, smiling gently.

"I don't think it is a name," Dipper said as he opened the first folder he spotted.

"It is," Arline said.

"Oh. Uh-"

"It's, uh, probably coincidental," Arline said, putting the slip of paper on the terminal panel next to Dipper, "but I knew someone who had a friend named Haddiya."

"Really? Was she nice?" Mabel asked.

"Haddiya is _not_ a girls name-" Dipper shook his head.

"It is, actually," Arline nudged Dipper. He blushed, but said nothing, opening more folders with dates and number tags. "I never met her. I was just told she was really something."

"Who? Oh! I bet it was _your_ master!" Mabel guessed with a wink. Arline, without a hint of a joke, nodded. "Oh! Wow! That's so cool!"

"Look at this," Dipper asked them. The two ladies turned and leant to the screen, staring at the list of small files. "I've been popping into them, scanning them for what they are. They're all orders. Product orders."

"What kind?" Arline quickly asked. Dipper answered by opening one of the files. "Research and Development level Chemistry glasses and vials?"

"Hundreds of them," Dipper sighed, "Mabel and I found a note yesterday that kind of gave us that hint though."

"So... some sort of freaky research project is going on down here?" Arline asked the two.

"We guess. I mean, how did a giant pup-plant just go shooting out of the earth?" Mabel asked pointedly. Arline nodded and glanced back to Dipper.

"There aren't any prices or bills to these," Dipper added with a frown, "that's also weird."

"So, what? They stole from someone?" Mabel asked.

"Whoever this O.S.C.T. is," Dipper shrugged, "that logo is everywhere on these orders."

"O.S.C.T..." Arline pasued, scratching the side of her head, "That's... I know what that is," she sighed.

"Who?" Dipper turned to her. Grim and somber she braced herself with a sign.

"A ghost, now. Omir Steindorf and Company Technologies."

"Omir!?" The twins gasped.

"He was the CEO to the mega-coporation, Steindorf and Co. They're just manufacturers of products though. But I've seen these before," she pointed to a specific order. Dipper went to click it, and was met by a large document that was almost entirely blanked out. "Thought so," she sighed. "Technologies is the corporate way of saying 'making whatever they want'."

"What is it they made?" Dipper asked.

"Weapons," Arline gulped.

"Oh. Great," Mabel grumbled.

"You're sure they made, you know, weapons and stuff?" Dipper asked with a worried look to the computer.

"Certain. I had to deal with some of this stuff in the past," Arline crossed her arms together, "a long, long time ago."

Dipper and Mabel looked to the martial artist, their shock and curiosity eating away at their need to pry for information. After a moment, Arline closed her eyes, and Dipper felt it necessary to look back to the screen.

If they had been getting weapons from the Stiendorf &amp; Co, but not paying for anything, Dipper was certain he knew what that meant. Graupner had been stealing from the company in advance. Dipper blinked- which explained his attack on the Coporation and Business Convention. If Mister Omir had come looking for the answer for his lost merchandise, then Graupner would have attempted to scaring him away, attacking him, or outright killing the old man. Which, as Dipper realized, the latter had come true.

Dipper wiped away a tear from his eyes. "And look here," Dipper minimized the folder filled with more orders ranging from light bulbs, to miles of copper, to digging equipment, and opened the only other one not locked, which opened to only a few folders. "Video files."

"Perfect," Mabel rubbed her hands together. "Now we get to the bottom of this."

Dipper double clicked on the first file. A video enlarged, with none other than their favorite Warlock on the screen. The three visibly tensed when they saw him. He was directly looking at the camera, with a busy crew of people behind him, carrying in crates.

"Day one of the new experiment. I've finally managed t-to procure the needed materials to continue looking for th-that stupid energy source, but I think I can find it this t-t-time. No more distractions after today," The Warlock grinned, playing with a small coin he had on a necklace, tied around his neck.

"That's the-" Mabel pointed, but was shushed by her twin. "Tulpa," she whispered grumpily.

"If we can set up a base without b-being discovered, I should be able to perform the experiment. Just... ugh," he rolled his eyes and glanced around him, "a few loose ends have to be t-tied up. K-Kids poking their way around up top."

He then reached forward, and the video feed turned off. However, before Dipper could try playing another, the next video turned on- a playlist of sorts. This time, Graupner Kinley looked disheveled and upset.

"It's been t-two weeks since the last report, and those d-damn kids are still... GAH!" he shot up from his seat and paced around, pulling his hair, "they're j-just fifteen! FIFTEEN! How hard is it to k-kill two fifteen year olds!?"

Dipper and Mabel grinned, and shared a mutual fist-bump.

"I didn't want to wait so long, but at this point, I need to start c-considering asking him f-for help. He'll be arriving soon, and I'm sure he'll realize the state of the mission, and from that p-point, he'll forgive the d-d-delay. After all, I'm haven't 'killed anyone'... yet..."

Graupner then looked down, to a book in his hands, and Dipper gasped. "HE HAD IT!" he shouted and pointed to the screen. In the Warlock's hands was the dark covered book of morbid spells that Dipper had been searching for. "That Son of a-"

"B-but I've got my own plan now. I've learned a lot from him, b-but I'm st-starting to think that maybe I could d-dabble in something else," he said and grinned, flipping up to a page, "now... I j-just need a few things." Behind him, a large crashing sound of glass echoed, and he grimaced. "D-damn it. Next week I'll update."

The video ended, and this time someone else spoke on the screen, and the twins gasped.

"Aint this a fancy piece of good-'ol technobably-machiney?" an old man with a massive beard asked. "What do I tell them again? Oh right!"

"McGucket?" the twins gasped.

"You know him, right?" Arline asked.

"No way," Mabel shook her head, "he's not involved with these baddies. Right? Dipper?" she asked. Dipper's face had gone a dangerous pink, but he glared ahead, his jaw glued shut.

"Well, second month dangling on the incubation chamber for 'project destroy'- love that fancy name- and the alpha stage! All these new-fangled devices are sure neat to work with," McGucket danced before the screen, holding up a crude paper with a blueprint on it of mostly stick-figures and the town of Gravity Falls. "Once I'm done setting up the greenhouse for the Kinley Kiddo, I'll be able to work on the fun bit- operation search! And then they'll make it legal in the entire US for men to marry raccoons! Or... no, that's just me," McGucket added, crestfallen.

"Weird," Arline shudderd.

"Not at all. Man and Raccoon deserve to be as one," the voice of McGucket said. Three did a double take to the screen, which had started playing another tape. Dipper was first to spin around, followed quickly by Arline. Old Man McGucket was standing behind them, his unfocused eyes looking at Mabel and Arline. "Well howdy-doodle, friends!" he said with a wave.

"Howdy doodle this!" Arline shouted, and made to punch at McGucket.

"Wait!" Mabel dived before the attack, holding back Arline's fist of fury. McGucket flinched, holding his legs, arms, and holding away his precious hat from the danger. "We still don't know what he's doing here!"

"He's working with the enemy, Mabel," Arline scowled, shaking her hand away.

"I swear I don't know Eminem!" McGucket promised as a worried squeal.

"I said _enemy_," Arline growled.

"Who?" McGucket asked, lowering is one foot to the ground.

Dipper growled and stepped in, pushing past his sister. "McGucket, what are you doing here?"

"I'm working!" McGucket cheerfully declared. Arline motioned to start closer, but he continued, "me and a lot of good folk need some new jobs all of a sudden! Not sure why, but, that's the way it all comes together, right? Right? I actually don't know. Is that right?"

"What do you mean? Why do you need jobs?" Dipper asked. "You've never cared about working in Gravity Falls."

"Yeah! Odd thing, huh?" McGucket chuckled, "just the beginning of Summer, I was perfectly happy without a lick 'o job of any kind. But after that weird day with the high electromagnetic signatures I detected with my home-built equipment, I needed to make money- so I could eat. I guess I forgot to eat for the last three years or something. Funny stuff!" McGucket laughed, and then paused, "you know, on reflection, that is a tad tootin' strange."

"Why are you working here? With that horrible man?" Mabel asked.

"Who? Oh! You mean the kid!" McGucket chuckled, "well, he aint in charge anyway!"

"He's not!?" Dipper and Mabel gasped.

"He's not," Arline repeated, her voice dropping in shock.

"And beside, I got the other friends from town to help out!" McGucket said, pointing to the screen behind them.

The person on the video feed changed. Now it was one of the bouncers of the local bars- stiffly saying what he had done during the day. Then the change happened again- this time one of the Corduroy boys, talking about how he helped lift crates down into the ground. More and more people saying how happy they were to receive cash and funds for their goals.

"Whoever is running this practically is funding town," Arline noted.

"Yeah! Good folk here," McGucket proudly said.

"Really? Then what's with this?" Dipper demanded, "and what's operation 'search and destroy'?"

"Oh! Well that's not one operation, but two!" McGucket held up four fingers, two on each hand.

"Oh. It's two," Dipper slapped a hand to his face. "Great. So... the golem on the surface is just trying to destroy... but not search?"

"Oh, the anthropomorphic artificially grown _Vicious-Vinous_?" Mcgucket asked.

"Uh... big and scary?" Mabel asked, and pointed to the shattered glass case, "used to live in that?"

"That'd be the one," McGucket slapped his knee, and paused, "you know, it was a little odd they needed an alpha of that size though."

"Fine, so big and scary is the 'destroy' part of these two operations. What is 'search'?" Arline butted in angrily, "we are on a schedule."

"Oh! Well, I can show you!" McGucket said, and waved them to follow and turned towards the door he came through, still slightly ajar. Exchanging stern looks of worry, the three did follow, stepping over the tied up security guards. "Pardon me, gents!" McGucket politely said as he stepped on the bodies.

"They're just sleeping," Mabel told him with a grin.

The metal door slid aside quickly, and the hallway before came into view. Carved out of the deep rock and dirt of the earth and supported by various large pinewood beams, the hallway spanned in two directions. McGucket quickly turned towards the left, where several other men and women all walked by casually.

"Mornin' Duff!" McGucket waved to a tall, red-headed man with a mullet.

"Keep it real and free, Fiddleford," the man said, wearing a shirt with a bald eagle on it. "Yo," he said with a polite wave to the three.

"The heck?" Arline asked as they passed by the man. "How many people knew about these things?"

"Huh? Well, half the town I reckon'," McGucket shrugged.

"Half the town," Dipper groaned, "half the _town_ knew about this..."

"We should have just asked for directions," Mabel said with a shake of her head.

"Ah, in here," Mcgucket said as he turned down a doorway. Another metal door stood before them, but McGucket approached and it slid aside. "Come on inside! This here part is off-limits, but I like the shade of the curtains, and the pictures are really nice!"

The three stepped in, and all gasped.

Before them, on a massive wall, was an enormous collection of string, pins, an pictures. Dipper had seen this kind of wall before- he had made webs like this. Two large green curtains hung from the top- tide to the sides of the tall walls to either side.

"It's... it's a web of connections," Dipper said, walking closer like he were in a daze. "Look! Mabel! Us!" he pointed to a picture of the twins at the Northwest Talent Show. "Connected to..." Dipper followed the black line to a picture of the Mystery Manor- or of the Mystery Shack, before it became the Manor. Each of the employees, including to Dipper annoyance, Yuki, were connected by their own black string and pictures. Dipper spotted Wendy, who was connected to her family and friends. There were annotations along all the edges of the pictures.

"Wait, 'Investigate the Corduroy Girl. Is clearly hiding a secret worth keeping her entire friends and family away from'- someone else was onto Wendy?!" Dipper gasped, clawing at his hat.

"Looky- 'The Pine Twins are a danger. With the arrival of the student of the Paths'," Mabel read aloud, and turned to Arline, "they mean you! 'We should consider them, until such time can be, a threat and should be kept at a safe distance'. Oh Dipper! People are becoming scared of us! That means we're growing up!" Mabel puffed her chest and put her hands to her hips. "I'm _big_ and _scarrry_!"

"Knock it off," Arline patted the back of Mabel's head with a gentle swat, "this is serious."

"Just trying to lighten the mood," Mabel shrugged.

"And here!" Dipper pointed to the Mystery Manor, "it says 'even though little outside evidence suggests it, I have reason to believe that there are secrets hiding inside the Manor'. There's a edit- 'the rest of the town checks out clean. Next experiment will be focused on the shack'."

"What?!" Mabel leaned over, and read the message for herself. "The heck does that mean?"

"I dunno," McGucket poked his head between the twins, his eyes crooked, "I never officially been in the room before- I just like staring at the curtains from a distance, and saw this scary wall of pictures!" he then shuddered and walked backwards, "It's like they're all watching me."

"That means the Mystery Manor is in danger," Dipper said, turning to his sister. He'd need to call Grunkle Stan, and let him know. He'd be okay, the threat was in town, after all, where... everyone else... was...

"This... Mabel, I know what's going on," Dipper gasped, his face feeling frigid as sweat began to build on his hands. "This- operation Destroy- is a huge distraction."

"Great," Arline grumbled and leaned closer to the pictures.

"For what?" Mabel asked. Dipper had only to look at her a tad longer, and then her mind came to the same conclusion. "The Mystery Manor."

"Why?!" Dipper asked aloud, angered with their similar conclusion, "why make such a big fuss? If someone wanted to attack the Manor without anyone knowing, all they'd have to do is attack the Manor itself! No one ever really knows what's going on in the woods!"

"I don't know," Arline piped up, "but I can tell you what they're looking for."

The twins turned. A line connected to the Manor, and then connected to the woods. There, a line connected to a picture of a black stone. As Arline's finger rested on it, it dropped, and she gulped.

"I was afraid of that," she said with a shudder. The twins looked to her, and then the stone. They had seen that object before.

"Uh, maybe we can get a hiking?" McGucket asked, as commotion from outside the hallway echoed into the room. The three were incapable of hearing him, or the commotion- their focus was laser-focused onto the picture.

"The heart of the forest?" Dipper asked.

"That's not just the heart of the forest as you call it," Arline gulped, and turned in a flash, "this is worse than I thought. Wait," she then halted her march, and clenched her hands together, "that means... he knew... all along!"

"Arline, what is going on!?" Dipper demanded. She turned to him, her mouth open, but Dipper cut her off. "Just cut to the truth this time. I know you're hiding something!"

"Dipper," Mabel put a hand to his shoulder, trying to push him back.

"No, Mabel-" Dipper started, looking to his sister with fire in his eyes.

"Fellas!" McGucket called loudly, and yet still ignored, "Something is going on outside!"

"Mabel, Dipper," Arline said in a slow, calm voice that was not her natural tone, "I... there are some things I can't even admit I know. That," she pointed to the picture, "is one of them."

The twins looked back. Arline knew about the heart of the forest... that stone they had accidentally stolen two months ago. Shining a borealis of color past the obsidian coat, black as knight and just as deep. Dipper blinked- remembering how Wendy had reacted to it. She had feared it.

What _was_ that rock?

McGucket unleashed a loud, shrill whistle, and finally got the three's attention. "Something's happening, sure as rain!" McGucket pointed a thumb towards the door. Still open, the three could see men and women all from town rushing past, towards the right.

"What's going-" Dipper's question was answered instantly. Above them, loud sirens blared.

"All un-required personnel are to leave ASAP- this is not a drill. I repeat, evacuate all un-required personnel."

"Well, that means I'm out too!" McGucket told them, rubbing his hands together nervously, "you three should leave too. They said they'd only do this in emergencies."

"We are the emergency," Mabel said with her darkest tone.

"Oh. Well, good luck emergence-ing," McGucket nodded to them, and with a fearful scream, ran out the door, screaming, "RUN FOR YER LIVES!"

"Great, now what?" Dipper asked about.

"We go get some answers," Arline stated firmly. "These people are too well prepared, too well organized, and tell well... _informed_ to be lead by just a kid. Someone else is at work here."

"The mysterious helpers," Mabel said.

"Yeah. Something tells me that the townsfolk aren't the ones who have been helping Graupner with all of this. I mean, we did see those sketchy ads in the paper last week, right?" Dipper asked. Mabel nodded, and the twins looked to their elder. Arline glanced one more time at the pictures.

"C'mon," Arline nodded for the door. The three made for the small hallway. Arline turned against the direction of the fleeing men and women and gasped. "INSIDE!" she threw the twins inside just in time.

A thunder of gunfire echoed past them. Shards of dirt and stone exploded by the walls the twins and Arline had just been by. Mabel screamed and Dipper yelled, thrown inside as Arline ducked against the wall.

"Everyone okay?!" she demanded over the loud call.

"Scared!" Mabel lifted her thumb.

"Ditto!" Dipper said, her fingers twitchy and shaking.

"Okay, so," Arline stretched her fingers, "rules of engaging a firefight without weapons. One- you don't. It's bad, and someone is going to either die or walk away with broken bones or worse," she called to the twins, and then whipped her two arms against one another, summoning a fire-ball again, "two- if you have to, you play it smart. Destroy their vision, and they're the same as melee combatants... For the most part."

"Notes taken," Dipper nodded as he approached her, and pushed himself against the wall.

"So, what do, boss?" Mabel asked Dipper as she slapped herself against the wall as well. Dipper hummed, and then turned to Arline.

She grinned wickedly. "I throw two, and then listen to my orders very carefully." In her hands, two fireballs grew brighter and brighter. "After I throw, dive to the other side of the wall, and keep up with my pace. Ready?" she asked. The twins nodded. "Okay..." she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

What could have been a flash of light before the twins was actually Arline diving out, turning, and throwing two fireballs down the hall in the span of a single second. The resulting explosions tossed dirt and dust past them.

Mabel and Dipper rushed out and past Arline just as the cloud thickened enough to act as a blanket to their vision. Through it all, they made it to the other side, and pushed themselves against the wall.

Through the thick dust, bullets ripped past the dust, leaving burning trails of screaming hot air. Mabel screamed and pushed Dipper against the wall as much as she could, ware of the trails of certain death rushing past them in the form of bullets.

All the while, Arline stood up, and began to walk calmly forward. The bullets missed her each time. Reaching into her pocket of her jacket, she pulled out a pair of goggles, and slipped them on.

"GO!" she shouted, and dived forward, fire streaking behind her by both arms.

Dipper and Mabel followed orders and ran forward. Gunshots pierced the air to their left, giving them a taste for real warfare. Several bullets got scarily close to them, striking earth behind them. Mabel shrieked, and the twins pierced the veil of dust and found Arline, once again, airborne.

The woman slammed down a hand-held fireball into the chest of the closest security guard. The resulting explosion threw the pistol from the man, and the man from Arline. Singed but not dead, the man flew backwards as a ragdoll, spinning against the ground over and over again. The four guards nearby the blast stumbled, and turned to where Arline had just been. She changed direction the moment the first one took his shot.

As Arline dove out of her cloud of smoke, Dipper and Mabel dove into the action.

Dipper made due with the distraction as best he could. A she had done once to a deranged hunter two months ago, he leapt up from his run and planted both feels into the face of the his foe. The impact had the man snap back and fall, allowing Dipper to recover, and get in a finishing blow against the man- a single punch across the face. Even in victory Dipper winced- these guys had thick skulls.

Mabel had more flourish ideas. Jumping over Dipper and then using the wall next to her as a diving board. She leapt into the air, and spun herself. The guard barely heard her warcry over the sounds of his attempt shots at Arline. He did however feel her powerful kick into his shoulder, dropping him to his knee with the impact. Still in mid-air, she kicked up and off of him, flying for another guard.

Arline had already dealt with one of the men by the time Mabel arrived, and the two tag-teamed magnificently. The man swung for Mabel, but Arline grabbed the arm mid thrust, and kicked the pit of his elbow with a loud crack. Mabel grabbed his other hand- holding the pistol- with both hands, and then leapt to him, wrapping a leg around the arm and twisting with her body. Another loud pop told them his arm had been dislocated. He fell quickly, unable to fight, and instead scream and whimper at the damage done to his arms.

Dipper turned to the knocked down guard, and rushed at him next. Disabling him would be the safest thing. The man in question, with a rich copper skin tone, had reached for his pistol. Dipper kicked it away, and then kicked the man's face.

Howling in pain, the man reached in his jacket. Dipper yelped and dived back as a streak of silver light swiped out and barely missed him. The man had drawn a large combat knife.

Then a fireball struck the side of his head.

Dipper covered himself as the ball of fire blasted the man back across the hallway and into the wall, where he slumped to the ground. Half his head was scorched, but he seemed alive.

"Jeesh, I had him," Dipper told Arline.

"Dipper," Mabel scolded, "she just saved you from a knife fight! You know what the number one rule for a knife fight is?" she told Dipper, stepping on the body of the guard between her and Dipper, "Don't get in one!"

"That's the same as the first rule of fire-fights," Dipper pointed out.

"It's a good rule in general," Arline told him as she put out the fire in her hands. "And we don't have time to wrap things up honorably. If they're sending armed guards after us, they don't care to capture us. That was shoot-on sight stuff back there. This is survival."

"Great. Trying to kill us with mythical creatures wasn't enough, now they're resorting to man-made weapons," Dipper shuddered.

"I hear more," Mabel pointed, and the three saw shadows coming down the hallway.

"Well, here we go you two," Arline growled, and with a flick of her arms, she summoned more fire, "let's blast past these idiots."

The three raced forward yet again, met now six guards, and Arline threw the first punch- or fireball.

The three worked brilliantly together, meeting each other's short-comings and diving in and out of fights. Arline could instantly disable their ability to see more than a few feet in front of them, and by that point it was too late. Dipper and Mabel, smaller than the coming guards were faster and could strike in precise pin-points.

It was not, however, an easy fight.

More than once Dipper and Mabel pulled one another out of danger. A bullet grazed across Dipper's cheek and nose, drawing blood. Mabel had been kicked in the stomach, and where a boot had nearly crashed down onto her gut, Dipper dived-bombed into the man, throwing him to the ground before punching him out.

The entire time the twins flashed around, struggling to use their great learned techniques and skills to survive, Arline made the entire fight a dance. It only took her about three seconds per guard to be put down and knocked aside. Her strength, as Dipper and Mabel already knew, was superb, but they had never seen her act that powerfully before. Tested again and again, she could easily lift a man off the ground with a single foot, and while he rested in the air for a split second, she could kick out and toss him against a wall with a crash.

More and more guards came, each of them desperate to shoot the twins and Arline. None of them could reach them, even in their best moments. Dipper had been pinned to the ground at one point, and a boot slammed into his chest. Just as the man raised a gun to him, a fireball knocked the guard backwards.

Mabel had been lifted by one of the larger guards and pinned against a wall with a stranglehold. Arline had also been quick to save her pupil, tossing one of the already knocked out men at the guard.

Many times the twins saw the face of death, almost met him personally. Each time they did, Arline was there to pull them back and into the fight for survival again.

They had to keep going- this wasn't just about their survival. The monstrous golem above in town was still upright. They had to, as Pacifica had told them, find a machine to de-activate it.

Pushing themselves down the hallway of dirt and rock and stone, the three finally beat down what could have been the last of nearly fifty men. Granted, Dipper and Mabel both knew they had only been helping Arline, and she alone probably could have done all of that, but they were alive. Scarred, bruised, and filthy, but alive.

They stood, as the twins realized, above the same pit that Montana Jeffreys had used to stage his base. Only now, the chains above had been removed, and the hole reached further down. Someone had been busy excavating. More holes and tunnels had been added, leading off into different chambers and corridors. Yet Mabel gasped, and pointed ahead.

"Look! Big crazy-looking machinery!" she cried out. Across the massive chamber sat, partially built into the earth itself, a huge mechanized computer. A radio antenna sat atop it, flickering with a single green light at the tip. "That must be what Yuki was talking about!"

"Let's get over there and-" Dipper started.

Arline yelled and, like a professional baseball pitcher, threw a fireball as hard as she could. The streaking sphere of orange and yellow flame struck the surface of the metal and exploded, tearing apart at the metal exoskeleton. Gears, wires, and glass rained down the side, falling into the large, gaping hole. The twins looked to Arline, who was breathing heavily.

"No more messing around," she told them, and pushed some of her golden hair from her face.

A moment later, a large reverberate thud echoed through the earth. It was clue enough; the Golem had fallen.

"Problem one solved," Dipper grinned.

"Problem two?" Mabel asked.

"We find the Warlock and end this, once and for all," Arline growled.

"And get some answers," Dipper added, "we need to figure out he's done all of this. He never struck me as the kind of guy with a lot of cash in his pocket."

"I'm thinking that way looks right, then," Mabel said, pointing below them. At the basin of the pit, two more hallways opened up, presenting more places for them to enter and explore.

The three made their dash down the spiraling walkway of stone, moving closer and closer to the bottom, and hopefully to the answers they had been looking for all this time.

About half way down, the earth began to shake. The twins pushed themselves away from the edge, as did Arline. One of the two hallways was glowing bright blue, and the shaking grew hard and more frequent.

"What the heck is going on down there!?" Dipper shouted, holding onto Mabel's shoulder with one hand.

"Our answers! Come on!" Arline shouted, and continued to run down the spiraling down walkway.

The closer they got to the bottom, the more the blue light and tremors began to fade, as if tied together. The light eventually vanished, and the trembling earth eased. It could be moving away from them, Dipper feared internally. Arline seemed to have the same fears, as her pace increased even faster.

They made it to the bottom, and as they turned away from the one dark tunnel and towards the other, the three slid to a stop, running into one another.

"...uh-oh," the man in the hallway gulped, clutching his black clothing closely.

"Graupner," Dipper growled, tensing his arms.

"Warlock!" Mabel yelled, widening her stance with a dramatic step.

"And our answers," Arline cracked her knuckles and began to step forward.

Graupner Kinley looked filthy, but his fear and panic were now his most distinguished features. Stepping away from the tunnel to the side, he tried moving away from Arline. She, however, turned and followed him.

"Uh, I'm n-not the p-person you want to t-talk to-"

"Shut up," she said, and before he had a chance to respond, she snapped and arm out, grasped his collar, and lifted him up to her, "now, start talking: what are you really doing!?"

At first, the warlock gulped, and looked to the twins. Nearly a moment passed and he said nothing. Then of all things he could do, he grinned. Arline chuckled in reply. She then slammed her fist into his face, tossing him back.

Graupner screamed, holding his hands to his forehead, where his skin was horribly raw and swollen.

"Let's try this again," she demanded, stepping closer.

"STAY B-BACK!" Graupner warned, holding up a hand, "or I'll c-cast magic!"

"Funny, I was just wandering why you hadn't done so yet," Arline asked him as she approached.

"Yeah, he's more of a cast first, talk later, sort of guy," Mabel added.

"So, something's not letting you use your neat little spells?" Arline asked, now towering above him. He whimpered as she reached down, and once again lifted him up. "Let's try again. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Graupner yelped and tried holding himself away from her.

"He really can't cast magic," Dipper said, stepping closer. "Something is preventing him from it."

Arline had glanced to Dipper, and now turned to stare intently at Graupner. "Let's hear it. Why is it you're incapable of using magic?"

After a strong shake from Arline, Graupner Kinley found his voice. "B-because I had t-t-to give it t-to my m-master. T-temporarily."

"You gave your magic away to your... master," Arline paused at the last word. "You have a master here."

"He's b-been here for a while," Graupner proudly said, looking down his nose at Arline. She gave him another strong shake and he trembled.

"Not a partner, but a master?" Mabel asked.

"WHO!?" Arline yelled at Graupner.

A new voice spoke in the shadows from where Graupner had come- one of confidence and strength, but calm. "If you could please lower him, there will be no need for violence."

Dipper and Mabel gasped. They knew that voice. As Arline turned and stared, still holding Graupner in her hands, a man stepped out, tall and well-dressed. A single, dark orange bow-tie was tucked tied around the collar of his shirt

"Now, Miss Hirsch, if you could please lower my apprentice, I would be very thankful," Omir Steindorf, quite alive and health, said with his smooth, dark voice, his eyes twinkling as he smiled gently.

* * *

Those of you who guessed/deduced, good job. To the guest who wrote 'OmarStienlock?', I would email you a cookie so you could print and eat it. You deserve it. In fact, you're more right than you even know NOW- after the initial review.

But how? Why? What? When?! All revealed next episode, and more. Which, for the few of you who did go back and decipher my little code from last update, you know what's coming next episode. *cue dramatic music*

-EZB

* * *

Gslhv dsl wdvoo rm wzipmvhh uli zmhdvih droo urmw lmob nliv wzipmvhh.


	55. Fires of Hate: Part 1

"Please, if you could merely lower him to the ground."

Arline Hirsh stood strong, holding the eighteen year old magic caster with one arm. She had locked her eyes onto the old man, the blue orbs fiercely glaring at him with intensity unmatched. The twins- Dipper and Mabel, who were nearby to Arline, also stared at Omir Steindorf- but with wide eyes of shock and confusion.

"Why?" Arline asked after a short break of silence, the faint echoes of Omirs voice bounding around through the darkness above.

"I'd rather keep this meeting civil from here on; killing my apprentice is very much the opposite of said peace. And I'm certain that holding a hundred and fifty pound man in the air like that is tiring," Omir said with a small grin. Arline frowned and lifted Graupner an inch higher. "Then again, underestimating your strength could happen," Omir stated with a small chuckle.

"You want to talk about safety of human life," Arline snarled, gnashing her teeth with her words, "but then _someone_ sicks a huge plant-wolf golem into the town, nearly killing hundreds of people!" She retorted with vigor, spitting at Graupner, who flinched at her words.

"It wasn't m-me," Graupner gulped, the tension of his collar straining at his neck.

Omir sighed and shook his head, his eyes gently closed. "Do not blame him. That was my idea." Arline darted her head to the old man. "And for your information, the _Vicious-Vinous_ would have targeted you and your friends until I was finished with my ritual. Then I would have de-activated it, and the town would have been safe."

"Liar," Arline growled.

"I have been, but not in that particular case," Omir gently shook his head.

Dipper spoke up, his fingers numb and his body shaking. "I get it. I finally get it." Omir turned his gaze expectantly to Dipper. "This is a corporate take-over scam!"

"Oh?" the older man hummed, scratching his smooth chin.

"Yeah," Dipper stepped forward, a confident grin about him, "you came here with the promise that this town would be the new business center for the Pacifica Northwest Region. So, you tasked- who else- the Northwests to build the convention. But you deliberately sabotaged the convention, attempting to discredit the Northwests reputation for holding events and conducting business. Then, after all of this, you could take all that they- what?" Dipper held his tongue, as the old man shook his head with a warm smile.

"Well, Dipper, you had an interesting start," Omir cut in, suppressing his slight laughter, "but no. This has nothing to do with my company."

"But I hadn't finished," Dipper grumbled, "you're looking for something to solidify your claim to the area! Something that will, uh," Dipper stared at Omir, who was still grinning, "that would give... you an edge to control-"

"Already also incorrect," Omir shrugged.

"What?" Dipper gasped. "But, uh, then, you've-"

"Oh my gosh, just start explaining already!" Mabel cried out, "I've been dying to figure what the heck-a-doodle has been going on!" The four stared at her as she panted. Mabel glanced at Dipper warningly once more.

"I was just going to guess one more time," Dipper admitted with a pout.

"I'd be more than happy to explain what is going on," Omir said.

"Really?" Arline glared at him.

"Absolutely."

"And why is that?" Arline bore into him with her eyes, daring him to look away.

"Simple- it will diffuse the situation. I know why you all fight, and maybe it's time you understood why _I_ do as well," he explained. He looked to the twins, his ever-pleasant demeanor unchanged. When they made no objections, he turned back to Arline. "All I ask is that you drop Graupner."

Arline struggled with the concept of lowering the man in her hands. Despite clearly being strong enough to hold him up without struggle, she waned on her decision to do so. A moment later, she snarled and tossed the man forward, slamming him at the feet of Omir.

"Ah, thank you," Omir sighed, "I was worried we would have to escalate our already strenuous situation," he chuckled. In a blur of movement, he reached down, took hold of his so-called apprentice, and lifted him roughly. The pretenses of pleasantry had left him. "You will stay behind me, and keep your already undeserving mouth shut," he warned Graupner.

The younger man growled. "Why don't you just kill them!?" he demanded, his stutter suddenly gone.

To his harsh request, he received a powerful, echoing, back-handed slap. Dipper and Mabel gasped as Graupner fell aside, one half of his face red and imprinted with the outline with a large hand.

"Behind me. Now," Omir growled, a deadly and daring trio of words that this time Graupner would not disobey. After the man struggled to stand, his eyes welling with tears, he did as was told. Graupner watched him take a stance some three feet behind him, furious at being slapped. Then the old man turned back, and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he apologized to the three ahead of him, the vicious tones evaporated, "Graupner is a trying person, even if he's gifted."

"Gifted at being a butt-face," Mabel mumbled. Omir actually snorted, and Graupner's mouth opened.

"You're just going to let them-" the apprentice demanded of his master.

"Yes, I am. Now, shut up," Omir told him. Silenced yet again, Grauper crossed his arms tightly and glared. Omir faced the three and smiled. "Now... I'll answer some questions now."

"Who are you, really?" Dipper asked. "You made it clear you don't care about the wealth of the town, and you were buried back in the junkyard base!"

"We thought you died," Mabel asked, saddened by the memory.

Omir nodded, "Yes, I imagine my little ruse was quite effective. To answer bluntly, I am the original Warlock."

"The... original," Dipper replied.

"Damn it," Arline took a step back, her fists balled up.

"Is there a problem," Omir asked her, "student of the paths?"

"You bet there is," she told him.

"Master, what's up?" Mable asked, taking a cue from her master and stepping further away from Omir, leaving Dipper the closest.

"My... my master always had one person who he could never kill. Someone who seemed to be just as old and endless as him... he also called him the Warlock," Arline said, her eyes locked onto the old man. In reply Omir took a long breath, and sighed.

"Yes. Your master," he said as he wringed his hands together, "It's a shame we could never see eye-to-eye in the end. Like your father, Miss Hir-"

"Don't you DARE talk about my dad," Arline roared. "You... you're the whole reason my life is what it is!"

Omir's lips sealed and he relented, a pained look on his face. To her demands he complied quickly. Taking a bold step forward, he clapped his hands together and stared.

"I now go by the title of Sorcerer. My status empowers me with responsibility to study and perfect magical theory. Which leads me to why I am here: to recover a long, lost relic of the past," he told them.

"Huh?" the twins asked in unison. Arline continued to scowl as Omir looked at Dipper and Mabel.

"I'm certain you two know that there is more to this world than just the schemes and projections of science," he started, "more to the universe. It is more complicated, more mysterious, and unpredictable than what a formula or a million equations can possibly predict."

"I don't know about a million equations," Dipper shrugged.

"There is magic in this universe," Omir continued, "more magic than anyone realizes- maybe more than even _I_ realize," he added, glancing above him in quick thought. "But as many things, there was once much, much more than there is now."

"Wait, what?" Dipper asked, "there was once _more_ magic? Than today?"

The old man nodded. "Yes. The stories and tales of past magicians, wizards, magic-users of the world- they are not just fairy tales. They all existed."

"We know," Mabel said as she frowned, "we've met a lot of magical animal and people."

"Quite true," Omir nodded, "but the numbers of today pale in comparison to those that once were."

Dipper gasped, his fingers tingling. "I get it!" he cried out, and pointed to him, "you're trying to do something with the decline of magic in our universe!" He heaved with excitement, having rushed out his words in a hurry. Omir stared at him, disappointment etched in his furrowed brow. "No?" Dipper asked.

"Would you stop interrupting!?" Mabel told him.

"No, no, the reason I tell you this is because something caused the depletion in Magic to happen. These sort of things don't just fade out- and the amount of magic missing from our region of the universe in comparison to the rest of the universe is constant, and staggering," he paused, and held out his own hand, where a small orb of perfect white light suddenly appeared in his palm. He shifted it side to side, and it flowed and ebbed like a droplet of water. "Such tricks like this used to be for fun. If I did this in front of someone today, they start asking where the wires all are. Once, people of my study would ask how long it took my to visualize the epicenter of the Arcana. Honestly, it's a Miracle that people believe in magic at all these years."

"A miracle. Is that what you call terrorizing innocent people while putting their lives in danger?" Arline asked. Omir flicked his eyes to her from the orb in his hand, and he grasped the ball of light, snuffing it out. His eyes burned with a deep-rooted conviction, and he continued.

"I have been looking for a stone from the last Great Council of Mages, lost and hidden from the world for the past six hundred years. As I am the last true member of this council," he proudly declared, his chest puffed out in pride, "it is my right to it's claim. And now, I have finally found it."

"Wait, wait, wait," Mabel held out her hands, "you have magic. You're... super-duper old, and it's taken you this long to find a _rock_?" she asked, "one we found by accident?"

"I- wait," Omir gasped and looked to her, "you... what?"

"We found it," Mabel declared again, crossing her arms, "by accident."

Omir stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly as his eyes focused in and out on her. He glanced to Dipper, who shrugged, and the he looked to Arline, who continued to glare at him. "You..." Omir closed his eyes and put a hand to his face, and sighed deeply. "As I thought, the ward worked perfectly."

"Ward?" Dipper asked.

Omir stopped massaging his face and looked to him. "A ward was placed on this stone, to keep it hidden. I've spent almost all my life looking for the stone, and yet never come close. For the last three years, after a little tip-off," Omir added, "I sent Graupner to look for it in my stead. After he began to scan entire regions of the United States, I wondered if a reverse-finding spell had been placed on it?"

"A reverse what?" Mabel asked, but Dipper gasped.

"That's impossible!" he said. Arline and Mabel turned to him, their eyebrows raised. "What? I did a lot of research on magic, remember?"

"What's a finding spell?" Arline asked, her tone more interested in answers than his explanations.

"A spell which allows the caster to always find the item if they look for it," Dipper said, and he looked to Omir, "which means if someone reversed it, as long as someone looked for it, they could never find it."

"Correct," Omit sighed, "and it's been a pain realizing that."

"But then, if you've been actively looking for it," Dipper began, "how did you find it at all? If the ward was working, that is."

"Bit of genius on Graupner's part, actually," Omir grinned, "an area around the stone would be impossible to detect with a large area searching spell. But it has been radiating magical aura for a long time- these woods are simply flooded with Arcane energy. Looking for the strange missing hole of Arcana made it easy- once we knew were to look."

"Hole in th-the fog," Graupner simplified to Dipper, his voice low with distaste.

"What's so special about the stone anyway?" Mabel inquired.

"Hah!" Graupner shouted, catching the three off-guard, "It's only th-the most p-powerful magical c-c-conduit in our world!" Next to him, Omir sighed.

"My god. Your stutter. I've forgotten how annoying it is for you to talk to others," he told his apprentice, who's face went red hot. "Now," Omir continued, "The one you've found, that I've been looking for, that was found-" Omir started.

"That _I_ was looking for," Graupner stated bitterly. He shrunk back again after a glare from Omir. "Fine. Whatever," Graupner growled.

"-found here, in Gravity Falls, I call the Starkissed Stone of Conservation," he explained, and again he held out his hand, and a small orb of light trembled into existence before taking the form of the smooth, black stone. "This rock is what I've been looking for... for a very long time."

"If that's the case, why wouldn't you just, I don't know, ASK SOMEONE?!" Arline roared. Omir again looked to her, and his placid smile wavered. Moving his hand aside, he let the image fall away and dissipate into air itself.

"Yeah! What's with all the attacks on us, and the town?!" Mabel seconded her master, and Dipper nodded.

"That is, assuming there is a good enough reason at all," Arline tacked on with a snort.

"The reason?" Omir asked, looking at Arline, "I have to make such racket with the town and the monsters within it's forests is simple- I cannot have anyone know of what I am doing, and these are attempts to cause the populace to flee."

"The heck- why? Why not get help?" Mabel asked.

"Imagine the world as it is. People have beliefs. They have codes. Laws. Structure. Then, imagine the entire populace of the world at once realizing that magic has returned. Some have powers, some do not. Some can control their new found gifts, others cannot. Chaos would fall onto the world," Omir stated, "which is why people like myself need to frighten away lesser humans like those in Gravity Falls.

The twin's mouths dropped open. 'Lesser Humans' is what he had just called them. So much of what he had said seemed to have come to make sense, and then... that. Omir watched them however, studying their reaction. He looked to Arline as well, who could only glare back.

"Whether you like it or not, I am superior to those in town. I have lived for nearly seven hundred years, and when people find a power they fear, they react in three ways- fear, hate, or crave. This town, should they discover the stone and my attempts to locating it, could try taking it for their own. I needed this town to be evacuated, or abandoned. My mission," he restated, "is far too important for that. If they ever found out what I was doing-"

"But these are peoples homes!" Dipper shouted.

"Yeah! Whole lives have begun and ended in this town!" Mabel said impressively.

"Quality over quantity," Omir wiggled a finger before him, "they may have lives, but the one I will bring back will change everything."

"The what?" Dipper asked.

"The who?" Mabel asked.

Omir took his time after their questions. He looked around, staring at the tall earthen walls and spiraling walkway that would lead to the tunnels high above. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head. "That's as much as I can tell you."

"What?" the twins gasped.

"You don't get to decide that," Arline told him.

"I do. Just as I decide this," he stepped forward and opened his arms wide, "to make this a lot less stressful on everyone and offer you a chance: help me."

"You're kidding me," Arline said, lowering her arms.

"You're joking," Graupner gasped.

"I'm not," Omir shook his head.

"They're our ENEMIES!" Graupner shouted. "They keep getting in our way! MY WAY!" he roared. Dipper and Mabel watched as Omir slowly turned to his apprentice, those dark brown eyes glowing with power. "And you're going to ask them to HELP!?"

"Yes."

"Why?!"

"Because why make an enemy when you can make a friend?" Omir proposed.

"That's stupid!" Graupner spat.

Omir reached out and snatched his collar, pulling Graupner to his face. "And tell me- how has fighting them been going for you!?" he demanded heatedly. "How much progress on my mission has been stalled because you couldn't look past your previous encounters with them!? You had a chance to reconcile with them! What did you do instead?!" Graupner swallowed, staring at his master. "ANSWER ME," Steindorf growled, his booming voice echoing around.

"I almost had them. How was I supposed to know a Tulpa would form into a ghost that would then become entranced with music?" Graupner whined.

"These excuses become you," Omir bitterly said, and threw Graupner to the ground, "how many weeks ago could the seeker-spell been reversed if I hadn't had to cover for you and play pretend while you were in jail!?"

Graupner said nothing, instead glaring at Dipper and Mabel, a seething rage and hate deep in his vision.

Omir snorted and turned away. "Now, I... understand if you are hesitant to accept my proposal towards working together. Just take your time and consider-"

"No."

Arline had opened her mouth first but the words had not been hers. She turned and instead stared at Mabel, as did her brother. Mabel faced Omir directly, her fists clenched as she refused to back down from his own stares.

"Why?" he asked her quietly.

"Because you look down on people," Mabel said firmly.

"Please," Omir asked of her, his voice worlds apart than that he used with Graupner- now quiet and pleading, "reconsider. I am now in charge with this operation, and if we could work together, I could-"

"You heard my sister, "Dipper added, his arms crossed. "And I think I've worked along side your apprentice one too many times," he said and held up his arm, showing the long scar, flexed taught to be white. Omir closed his eyes tightly, not bothering to look at the now smug and proud Arline, who grinned at the twins.

"Very well," Omir said, his commanding voice returned. The three returned to the guard, ready for retaliation. The old man had closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. If there was a time he would strike out, it would be now. The twins braced themselves, lowering their stance and bending their knees to stable their footing. Arline slid one foot back, and resumed a fighting pose. Then...

"You three may go," Omir sighed and held his hands in his pockets.

A pause followed his words. Silence followed, and the three stared at the chocolate skinned man in shock.

"What?" Arline asked.

"You may go," he said, dull toned and bored. He shook his head as they remained put.

"You're just going-" Mabel started.

"To let us go?" Dipper finished.

"I see no reason not to," Omir explained, "I've already reversed the ward on the stone, and really there is nothing more that is needed to be said here. So, off you go," he said and nodded to the spiraling walkway.

"No attack?" Dipper asked. The CEO shook his head.

"No 'Now that you know our secret, you must die' mumbo-jumbo?" Mabel asked. Omir scoffed.

"How would knowing anything I've just told you hamper me in any way?" he asked. "Go ahead, start telling the world that I'm an ancient wizard. I'm sure people will believe you," he said with a chuckle. "If anything, it might actually make my company get more publicity."

"Don't gotta be rude about it," Mable huffed.

"Well, off you go. I have to pick up the mess you all have made before I finish what I came here for," he said. The twins glanced to Arline, who hadn't budged. "What are you waiting for?" he asked them.

"We're not going anywhere without you," Arline told him.

"I thought you said-" he started.

Arline laughed- a strange laugh the twins had not heard her do before. It was bitter- hateful. "You think after what you've done to my family, to me, to this town, and them," she indicated to the twins with a nudge of her head, "that I'm just going to let you walk away!?"

"I hope, for our sake, you do," Omir worriedly said, eying her.

"Well, guess again," Arline snarled, "you're coming with us to the cops, and then you're confessing to everything to someone until they lock you up for what you've done!"

"Oh lord," Omir rolled his eyes, "look, not that I don't believe you conviction, Miss Hirsh," Omir Steindorf admitted to her with a fast grin, "I've worked extensively with the cops in this town. They are easily the most incompetent I've ever seen. I could just tell them not to arrest me and they wouldn't- not that arresting me would really amount to anything," he admitted, "so, tell me: why should I go anywhere with you?"

Arline's response shook the twins to the core. She screamed and was engulfed in a dangerously hot red flame. Head to toe, she roared in a six foot tall immolation that heated the bottom of the pit and tossed dark, stark shadows around. Graupner gasped and stepped back, holding a hand to his eyes as the twins did. Omir merely watched, his stare un-wavered.

The fires died, and Arline's fire subsided to balls of flame in her hands.

"Don't toy with me," she ordered, "I am so, so, not ready to hear you of all people tell me what I can and can't do. Now I know for sure what you've done to me."

Omir stood still, his eyes locked onto her. He had not budged with the fires, nor had he flinched when she spoke to him with her passionate hate. He was a statue of thought- contemplating his next move.

"Very well. I will stay. Graupner," Omir said, and glanced to Graupner, "you may go."

"Thanks-" Graupner sneered.

Arline was quicker. With a bellowing cry driven by fury and passion, she tossed a fireball right at the wall nearby Graupner. It exploded, tossing dirt and rock into the air, most of it splashing against Graupner's face. As he winced and stepped back, he and his master stared at Arline.

"Neither of you go," she told them.

"You could at least let me keep my schedule slightly intact, Miss Hirsh," Omir scolded her with a disapproving shake of his head.

"I don't know if you've forgotten, Mister Steindorf, if that's your real name," Arline sneered at him, "but we're enemies."

"No," Omir shook his head slowly, "I most certainly have not."

"Yeah right," Graupner grumbled.

"Arline," Omir held up a hand, his voice firm but delicate. "Please consider your actions. I can understand your anger for what I had to do in the past regarding your family, but you must let me go."

"No can do. Twins," Arline called over her shoulder, "watch Graupner. Make sure he doesn't go anywhere.

"Right!" the two said, and rushed to block both of the ramps spiraling upwards.

"Come now, please don't involve them," Omir grumbled, "I don't need any more possibly loss of life on my conscious."

"Right- you say after sending a fifty foot tall plant monster into a town," Arline reminded him.

"Well, if you seek a fight so badly," Omir sighed and nodded. He held a hand back to Graupner. "Stand back, boy."

"What, you're going to fight her?!" Graupner gasped, "she can-" Omir turned and glared at his apprentice.

"You've forgotten your place. Back. Now."

The cold words washed over and engulfed Graupner. For the first time since coming to the mines, the twins saw true terror in Graupner's eyes. He stumbled back, holding onto something in his robes as he retreated. Watching the apprentice retreat, Omir was satisfied once the man was against the wall.

"Okay, Arline Hirsh," Omir turned to her, "I will fight you."

"Sure. You magic-users are so good at that, aren't you?" she snickered and took her stance.

"You have this, master!" Mabel cheered.

"Try to keep him alive!" Dipper said, "for more questions later!"

Omir chuckled at the twins, shaking his head. As he did, he took out two gloves from his well groomed suit and applied them. "You've got to admire kids," he said to Arline, "never discouraged, even in the face of danger."

"They know what's up," Arline told him, tightening her fists.

"Perhaps," Omir nodded solemnly, "perhaps they do. At least in the moment. The future, however," he said, reaching a hand into his sleeve, "is made for dreams."

He then slowly drew out his hand, now holding a white stick. More and more he pulled out from his sleeve until he had pulled out an entire pure-white quarterstaff, as tall as he was. The staff, as the twins could see it, had no wooden notches or dents in it, and the material was impossible to determine. It was just a long white staff without any defining features aside from it's stark colors.

"Well, now that that's out," Omir said, giving it a gentle tap onto the ground. It echoed like wood, a rattle that flew high above everyone's heads and struck the ceiling gently.

"If that is all you're going to use against me," Arline started, but Omir chuckled.

"Well, I'm not quite done," he said kindly to her.

He then roared, and before Arline could react, he took both hands and gripped the staff, and slammed it into the ground with a terrible jab. Earth split and shattered with his jab, and as he stalled from his attack on the ground itself, he pushed again.

The circle the five stood in budged and lowered a half foot. The twins and Graupner struggled to stay upright, even though Arline remained standing.

"Let's take this fight a bit deeper into the earth," Omir told her and grined. He shoved his staff further in.

The circle of flat rock howled and roared against the rest of the earth. They were descending and plummeting deeper into the rocky depths. Magic forces cut away roughly at the walls around them, leaving divots and uneven surfaces above them. No longer were they connected to the two spiraling up walkways. They were in the deep shaft of rock and dirt with no direct way out. Light grew fainter and fainter, leaving them in light shadow, with exception of Arline's balls of fire.

Finally the Sorcerer lifted his staff and the descent ended. It was entirely unscathed, as opposed to the rock bits it had crushed. With a gentle twirl, Omir freed it of any remaining dust, and bright it next to him, holding it in his hand.

"Well now," he said, looking up, "that seems far enough from town."

"You moved us deeper into the ground to avoid hurting the town?!" Arline asked.

"Naturally," Omir nodded, "I'm not here to hurt or kill anyone- otherwise I would have sent the golem to the town with the task to destroy lives, not buildings. Should our battle here escalate to a more... dire level," he added with a nervous smile, "I would not want to risk a cave-in."

"Fine by me," Arline agreed.

"Well," Omir gently tapped the sides of his staff with his fingers, "let's get this going."

"Oh by all means, you first," Arline told the CEO. "Experience should serve you, right?"

"Ladies first," he retorted.

"JUST KILL HER ALREADY!" Graupner screamed.

Omir turned to speak to his apprentice, and Arline dived forward, rushing faster than Mabel or Dipper had ever seen her move.

"I will not rush such a thing," Omir told Graupner as Arline jumped, screamed, and pushed out with her ball of fire still in her hand.

Omir Steindorf lifted an end of the staff before him with one hand. It met with Arline's fireball and the fire ruptured. The condensed energy exploded around them, bathing the stone with smoke and steam. Arline landed before Omir, her hand extended.

He had only just turned to her, and smile on his face, but a new look in his eye.

"I'm glad you took the initiative," Omir admitted, a terrible gaze about him, "now we can truly begin this."

"Good, don't be afraid to punch a girl!" Arline said, and then threw the second punch.

The man ducked down, and leapt aside, having the woman miss. Yet the martial artist of fire would not allow him to get far- she followed in haste.

The heels of Arline's boots began to heat, and with one swipe, Arline swiped at Omir's face with a strong kick- engulfed in flame. She only struck air, as he again backed off, letting her strikes miss again and again.

"Yeah! Get him- get him!" Mabel cheered, grinning at Arline's magnificent display of power.

It was what Mabel had wanted to see for years. The woman, her teacher, her master, and one of her best friends, going full-out power and attack mode. Mabel had always wondered what it was like to see someone with such training and power undergo such a fight, and she had not waited in vain. Arline's attacks were so fast and powerful- the air around her rippled with the heat from her fire. Yet her master was unaffected by the effects of the flame. Mabel saw a future version of herself in the fight there- a bold and powerful woman who will not stop for any evil.

Dipper was silent, and watched in awe. However his focus was less on Arline. He had had seen her battle with Mabel many times. No, his focus was directed onto Omir.

This man, probably as old as Grunkle Stan or even old with magic, battled against a woman in her prime. Again and again he avoided her attacks. He continued to hold that perfect white staff in his hand, keeping it to the side through all of it. Dipper watched as best he could- his eyes straining for the blur-like movements the two combatants shared. He couldn't believe the power Arline had, but something bugged him.

Omir was watching just as intently as Dipper was. He wasn't distracted, worried, or even panicked. The entire time he retreated and watched the woman slash and punch and kick, he just studied her.

Was he not worried? Arline was throwing fire around without a second thought, and he kept on dodging. Dipper felt this was a familiar situation. He had been through something like this once. No, more than once, as he thought about it.

Then it clicked. Omir was testing her.

After dodging two of the fireballs from Arline, Omir stepped backwards, and planted his feet firmly into the ground. Arline cam after him, her next attack readied- a third and more powerful fireball. Just as she wound the pitch, he ducked down and around her. It was a blisteringly fast move.

Mabel's cheering died away instantly. Omir had been between her and the fireball.

Just as Mabel dived away from the coming attack, Arline reached out with her hand and yelled. Just as her fingers clenched down on nothing, the ball of fire dove away and slammed into a distant section of rock, away from Mabel. The blast, as the twins studied, would not have probably left Mabel standing, or conscious.

"Good," Omir said, now across the circle of earth, "that was impressive. I was wondering how capable your control over the source energy was- and I'm pleasantly surprised."

"Can it," Arline told him as she turned and faced him. "You deliberately endangered Mabel."

"Did I?" Omir asked, grinning, "now who's to blame here, really? The man who everyone knew would not go willingly, or the one who decided to start throwing balls of fire?"

"SHUT UP!"

Arline dived again, and as she had before, lit her braces ablaze.

"That's more like it," Omir smiled.

The woman had changed her form of combat. No longer did her attacks become balls of condensed fired waiting to explode upon impact. She now held her fingers tight- clawing at the man with sharp edges of fire. However, just as before, she found her opponent avoiding her rather than confronting her.

So she chased harder. Faster.

"How can someone even do that?!" Dipper gasped as he watched the two dive around one another. Like water and oil however, Omir constantly moved around Arline.

"Come on!" she roared after he stepped behind her and backwards, now directly on her back. "Would you just-" she turned, and he stepped with her, "STOP IT-" she spun stepped away and turned, but he had turned away and also stepped back, distancing himself from her. "That's not funny!"

"It's a little funny," he said, rolling his eyes.

"What's the matter with you!?" she shouted at him.

"What do you mean?"

"We're in a fight! You're not trying to fight back!" Arline shouted at him. "I've heard of ego's during a fight, but now you're just being an ass!"

Omir chuckled, his dark eyes peering at her as they had been the entire fight so far. "I needed to see if you hadn't mastered the art of the ever-burning fire first," he said to her. Arline gasped. "And, as it would seem, you had."

"How... how did you-"

"Come now, Miss Hirsh," Omir Steindorf said with a shake of his head, "I'm all about knowing my enemy. I knew plenty about your master before he died," he said, his grin faltering.

"What?!" The twins gasped and turned to Arline. Her form and appearance were unchanged. Her master had... died?

"If you were so interested in knowing your enemy, you'd know that before he died," Arline said through a mean leer, "that the name he gave me was the Rising Phoenix."

Omir whistled and nodded. "Impressive title. So far, well earned. I'm shocked you haven't burned out all your stamina by controlling the fire against your body."

"So then," she stated, holding her fists up, "you afraid to hit a woman?"

"Don't be daft," he said, adjusting his tie, "you're still holding back too." Arline lowered her hands just by an inch as she stared at him. "Aha, you see? I could tell. You're not trying to hurt me still."

"Kill, actually," Arline shrugged.

"Fair enough," Omir nodded, and held his empty hand to his bald head, "I'll remind you who it is you're dealing with." he slowly lowered his hand past his head and face, and the twins and Arline gasped. The age faded away as his hand descended. Years and years of fatigue and wrinkled skin faded back into young, taught flesh. His eyes sharpened, his skin softened, and his mouth no longer had the mild markings of dryness that came with age. "After all," he said, his voice younger and more energy-driven, "I've been around for much, much longer than you. Don't hold back, if you please."

"Oh dang, why do they all have to be pretty and evil?" Mabel whined as she stared at Omir.

Arline glared at the new Omir. He was, for lack of a better word, very attractive. Strong, sharp, distinct features now lay prominent along his face, giving the chiseled looking man a new appearance of fresh power. His eyes held a direct confidence and control that his previous age lacked.

"It's just an illusion," Arline growled at him.

"Not at all," Omir shook his head, "this is how old I looked when I performed my first ageless spell. The only time it functioned for me was also the first time. I simply use an illusion spell to pretend like I'm aging every seventy year or so- or whatever the real mortality rates are."

"If you'd just teach me that-" Graupner growled.

"Quiet," Omir spat at Graupner, "I'm not done here. I'll get to you later."

"Arline!" Dipper called in, his hands around his mouth, "if he knows how to cast an ageless spell, he can do a lot more than just un-cast ward magic and summon light! Be careful!"

"Got it, bud," she nodded to him and gave him a thumbs up. "So, you want the real heat?" she said, and clenched her teeth. From all along her body, steam began to rise off her clothes and skin.

"What... are you doing?" Mabel whispered as she watched her master stand still as more steam emanated off of her.

Omir however whistled. "You know, I was wondering why he gave you such an impressive title. You _do_ have a new trick I've never seen before," he chuckled and gave his staff a quick twirl.

Arline closed her eyes, the steam rising off her body in billowing waves. Her hair jostled as streams of heated air caused a current around her. She stood perfectly still, and then, in a flash, she opened her eyes. She only had two words to say.

"Don't blink."

The she was gone, and onto him. Omir, for the first time since the fight, took the staff and held it before him, blocking her punch. The impact was a horrible blast of heat. No fire, no smoke- just pure, horrible heat.

Now Omir was finally invested into the fight. Using his perfect white staff to block punch and kick alike, he spun in counter to her. She dodged his own mild retaliations, and replied in kind.

Dipper and Mabel stared along with Graupner. Arline the bottom of the pit was nearing eighty degrees now- a forty degree difference from ten minutes ago when they had first arrived. The energy residing around them- in the form of two fighting individuals- was scary.

Arline made a strong kick out at his chest. Rather than block, Omir had stepped aside and made to sweep her standing leg from under her. Her counter? Jump in mid air and spin. Still in motion, she then made as if to kick at his head. Omir raised his staff to block this time.

As it would have seemed, his mistake.

Arline fooled him, reached out with her hand, and grasped the center of the staff. Omir had a split second to realize what had happened- she had caught a hold of his weapon in mid air. Wrenching it aside, she screamed as she punched into his chest with all her might.

The resulting impact echoed around the room. The thud of fist against chest reverberated like a loud groan.

She had finally made her mark. Arline's feet landed against the ground, and she looked up. Her eyes widened, and then she stepped back in shock.

"That was incredible," Omir said, entirely unchanged.

"You should be dead," Arline gasped.

"Yes, I would have been," he said, adjusting his tie absentmindedly, "but I've since learned how to maintain safety ward spells on my body at all times. I certainly will be-" he gasped and coughed, "-ow. Yes, as I thought. I'll be feeling that for some time."

"Well, then I just have to hit you harder, and more times," Arline said, and re-took her stance.

"I'm sure you will. Reversing how the fire-style of the paths works was genius," he commended her, massaging his chest. "Turning all that excess energy and internalizing it made you a brutal fighter. Fast, precise, quick-to-react and think, but now you have no fire to throw at me. An interesting trade off."

Either his words had gotten to her, or she had just had enough time to stop and think. She ran at him again with the same lightning fast speed. Omir grinned.

"You've grown a little cocky," he said, and he spun his staff, and approached her.

With merely a few steps from Omir, the fight shifted. Arline, the constant aggressor and chaser of the two, found herself now matched. Omir danced around her as she did, but now he would exchange a deliberate step away with a swing of his quarterstaff.

She made to block one strike, hold an arm closer to her as her armbrace held up against the impact. To her shock, she was lifted off her feet.

"Arline!" Mabel roared before Dipper.

Arline flew towards the wall. Her feet struck the side and she landed, and jumped back to the ground. Still upright, she balanced herself, and checked her arm. It moved, but she visibly trembled.

"How the-"

Omir was now the aggressor. He lunged at her with similar speeds, and before she realized, he had leapt, and prepped a baseball-bat like swing over his shoulder. Arline ducked just in time, his staff carving out a clear line where he had just swung. With another short spin of his staff, he turned it against his own body and thrust it like a spear. Arline dived aside again.

"You're not actually that powerful," Arline growled as she stepped away from him, "It's more of your spells you keep active on you."

"I am my spells, young lady," Omir sneered at her.

"They better serve you well!" she yelled and ran at him again.

"Be careful!" Mabel shouted.

As the two began their dance of death around one another, a low chuckle caught Mabel's attention. Graupner was watching the fight, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.

"What's so funny about this?!" Mabel demanded of him.

"All of it-t, everything," he said off-handedly. "Look at her, j-just struggling to k-keep up with him," he indicated with an almost limp hand.

"She's going to beat him, and bring you two back to the police station," Arline told him.

"Really?" he asked her. In his hand, a plume of black flame erupted, catching Mabel off guard. "I th-think we'll be fine."

"If you don't come with us, you're in for worse," Dipper called, having seen Mabel and Graupner talk to one another.

"Oh, really? G-Going to threaten me all th-the way from there, t-t-tough guy?" Graupner said, his voice dripping with venom.

"I don't know if you remember, but I said I'd be waiting for you," Dipper said to Graupner with a bite of his own. "Now you've got no-where to go."

"Oh, I'm shaking in my b-boots," Graupner cackled, "what are you going to do? B-Bleed some more on me?"

"Don't you talk to my brother that way!" Mabel shouted, and rushed forward at Graupner, who spun to her, his eyes wide with fear. Clearly he hadn't anticipated her actually taking to attacking.

Like a terrible arrow, the staff flew out and stabbed deep into the earth between Mabel and Graupner. Mabel slid to a halt, gasping at the sudden attack. The twins and the Warlock turned, and found Omir turning back to the fight.

"You three stay back, for now," he told them as he ducked under Arline, and stepped aside. Graupner grinned and reached for the staff. "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH IT!" Omir roared, causing Graupner to actually yell and step away from the white pole.

"You're without your neat-o toy!" Arline reminded him as she punched out at him.

"And your point?" he asked her, stepping away as he held his hands behind his back.

"So you're mine!" she roared and again slashed out.

His hand whipped out, and he muttered under his breath so fast it could have been gibberish. From the center of his hand, one of the small balls of light appeared, and soared at her. Too fast for her to react to, she felt it cross up her arm and over her shoulder. She leapt back, and checked her arm. It was bleeding along the side.

When she looked back, realizing that the small orbs of light could carve into her, she felt a cold shiver run through her steaming body. He had six more now floating around him, orbiting him mindlessly.

"Catch," he said as he pushed his hand out.

Two more of the orbs soared out, and she dive-rolled out of the way. Checking next to her, she yelled and leapt up. The two sent to hit her were now following her. So she ran forward and at the controller. He smiled and pointed his finger at her, and the other four darted towards her.

She changed course just for one to barely scratch her back. Baring her teeth and hissing, she continued to run, avoiding the now five balls of light.

"That's cheating!" Mabel shouted.

"Really? How is th-that cheating?" Graupner grumbled. "You all have your b-body, d-don't you? Well," he grinned and looked at her over the staff, still deeply imbedded into the rock, "we weaponize our minds."

Dipper had heard their talk, and looked over to Arline. Desperately fleeing from five balls of destructive force, Dipper couldn't help but wonder how dead he would have been if he had been out there. He saw the blood trickling down Arline's arm and hitting the ground, making his own scar twinge.

His eyes focused on the balls of light. They flew so effortlessly after her. Was there really such power to be had in magic in times like this?

Arline's focus shot suddenly to Omir. Running away, and avoiding the energy-based attacks, she suddenly diverted and ran at him again. The five balls of light soared after her diligently, but her pace was faster. She ran harder and faster until she was onto him.

All he had to do was lifted his hand and mutter more words under his breath. A bright flash of light engulfed Arline, and she stumbled back, stunned from the flash of light.

"Sorry," Omir sighed, shaking his head.

One by one, the five balls of light struck Arline's back. Splatter of blood splattered to the ground, one after another, as five small holes were made into Arline's back.

Mabel held onto the side of the wall, her mouth open and her eyes wide. "N-no," she muttered, watching as Arline, her head hanging from her shoulders limply, struggled to stand. "M-master," Mabel called to her. The woman made no reply, slowly reaching over and trying to find something to hold onto- in this case, Omir Steindorfs shoulders. "ARLINE!" Mabel roared.

"I'm sorry, Mabel, Dipper," Omir turned to them, looking to the tearing up Mabel and the shocked Dipper, "this is the way of those who choose to fight. She, like her master, will only end up-"

BAM.

Omir gasped and fell backwards, holding his face. Arline had grasped his shoulders, and with a mighty roar, she slammed her forehead into his face. Unprepared and shocked, the man had taken the entire hit to his nose and fallen backwards.

"End up like this!" Arline shouted, still with blood dripping from her back. She lifted her hands above her head, and formed one fireball that spun until it was a perfect sphere. Omir lowered his hands from his face just in time to see Arline bellow and throw the fireball.

The resulting explosion knocked the twins and Graupner off their feet. Smoke, fire, and ashes from rock and stone flew past them all as the slowly pushed themselves up against the rock. The last fireball she had thrown had been that of the same time she had used on the Golem on the surface- strong enough to be compared to a tank shot.

From the smoke, Arline stepped out. Battered, worn, but alive and grinning. Graupner, by the staff, gulped and looked to her, his eyes shaking with fear. Mabel sighed and slid against the wall as Dipper hollered.

"You did it!" Dipper shouted.

"And you're not too, too, _too_ badly hurt," Mabel smiled as Arline stepped away from the drifting smoke.

"Well, I need some cover up on the back, but not much else aside from that," she shrugged. She then turned to Graupner, who was looking past her. "Now, what to do about-"

Arline's last word, 'Graupner' was mixed with a scream. Another ball of light shot clear through her shoulder, erupting out past her with a splash of blood. With the shock of the attack, Mabel and Dipper couldn't scream. They could only watch as Arline fell to the ground, holding her shoulder and yelling.

"As I said," Omir's voice stated through the dust, "student follows master."

The smoke and remaining fire began to clear from around them, and Omir came into view. He was perfectly fine. Not a single scratch had been laid onto him. The only difference to before Arline's attack was a small bruise forming on his nose.

"That was a great attack, I need to hand it to you," Omir said, and extended his hand. An invisible force began to pull at Arline. Dragged across the ground, leaving a small trail of blood in her wake, she was dragged towards Omir. "But in the end, the difference is knowledge and training. I've had many more years than you, I'm afraid," he said to her, as she began to float upwards by the ankle. "In the end, that's what determines who the victor really is."

Omir threw his hand aside, and Arline flew. She slammed into the wall with a sickening thud. He twisted his arm, and she turned, and when he threw his arm aside, she flew again, this time sticking another wall. Three, four, five times, Arline was tossed around the walls of the deep pit like a ragdoll.

Finally, after seven throws, Arline landed nearby Graupner. Mabel watched, tears streaming down her face as Graupner lifted a foot, and stomped down.

He only struck dirt. Arline was back on her feet. Despite the severe injuries all around her, she uppercut Graupner as she rose past his stomp. The hit was of such speed and ferocity, blood spray past him as he spun into the air and he fell, screaming as he covered his eye.

Arline however was not done. She reached out for the staff, wrenched it from it's hole, and charged with it.

Her swing met a dismal end. Omir, shaking his head side to side slowly, snapped out with an arm and struck her in the same wound his orb had cut through her. She stumbled, and her grip failed her. No sooner had the staff fall from her fingertips than Omir caught it in mid-air, and swung.

Her arm bent and cracked as loud as her own fireballs.

"NO!" Mabel screamed and ran forward. Arline stumbled aside and fell limp into the dirt. "NO! GET UP!" Mabel shouted at her master, sliding to her feet.

"Mabel, stand back," Omir's voice called.

Dipper gasped and started to run as well. A single orb of light struck right before him, and he fell backwards.

"You stay back too," Omir told him, barely even looking to him. "Now, Mabel," he started, but Mabel shouted and punch up at him. Her fist struck his mid-section. It did nothing to him- he never even so much as flinched. "Mabel, stop," he quietly said, and pushed her aside forcefully.

"DON'T YOU HURT HER ANY MORE!" Mabel screamed as Omir stood above Arline.

"Indeed, I won't," Omir said, turning to Mabel as he stood above Arline's broken form. "There's only one thing I need to do to end this, after all." Holding his hand above him, he created yet another orb of perfect white light.

"No, no, please," Mabel begged him. "Please don't!"

Dipper yelled and he ran forward and struck out with a flying kick against Omir's back. The man stepped aside, and Dipper merely fell past Arline, coming to a stop before the two. The male twin met eyes with Omir's, and Dipper froze.

The Sorcerer's eyes weren't cold and empty as he had expected. They shone with emotion, even as he raised his hand further, and the orb grew larger.

They were powerless. Dipper and Mabel watched as the orb grew to be the size of Arline herself. The light seemed to remind her of life, and Arline cracked open one of her eyelids, staring up at Omir.

"I win this battle, Arline Hirsh. I'm sorry you couldn't have been an ally," he told her. "Now, as I said. You can follow your master's footsteps, and now-"

"Not die," Arline mumbled.

Omir blinked and held his hand above his head. "What?"

"Not. Die." Arline managed to cough, and her focus hardened on him. "I'm the one messed up here, you shouldn't have trouble hearing-"

"You said 'not die'," he repeated, "what? Are you taunting me?" he chuckled, "I must admit, you're being rather optimistic despite being about to die-"

"I'm saying he's alive," Arline sighed.

"The Guardsman was killed years ago!" Omir shouted. Arline chuckled, and shook her head. "No... no you're lying!" Omir shouted. Hearing more of Arline's laughter drove him to a fury- one the three had not seen since he snapped at Graupner. Omir clenched his fist, and threw it down. Mabel screamed and Dipper stood to his feet, both unwilling to watch.

A brisk rush of sound as sharp as a whistle cracked past the rush of light, and before the orb could even touch Arline, something stabbed into the ground nearby Mabel. A sharp rod, nearly six feet long and perfectly black hummed next to her, stabbed into the earth like a massive, oversized arrow.

As all but Graupner, still caring for his eye, stared at the new object, Omir gritted his teeth, and turned, looking high above him.

"You," he managed to say.

The twins followed Omir's gaze, and found someone they had seen before. A figure in a long, black cloak with a hood over it's head resided at the edge of the pit. Staring down at them, the figure studied them all, the face entirely hidden by the shadow of the hood.

"Well," Omir suddenly laughed and lifted his staff to rest on his shoulders, "here's someone I never thought I'd see again. "Hello again, Gaurdsman."

"Hello again, Warlock," the Guardsman said, that deep and impenetrable voice echoing effortlessly through the darkness, which seemed to permeate around the figure like a second cloak. Slowly, it reached up and removed the hood and cape, revealing an elaborate trench-coat of black and red, and a strange steel-grey mask with no facial features but for two black, slit-like eyes and cheekbones.

"Good to see you again, my old friend," the Guardsman said. Omir's gaze, cheery at first, darkened. Yet he smiled.

Dipper gulped as he and Mabel slowly approached Arline. "We are _sooo_ over our heads right now," he told Mabel, who rapidly nodded.

* * *

Yeah. So. Go ahead and wrap your head around all of that. You have a week to figure out as much as you can before I update again, and you see where I am leading you all.

Any bets on my dangerous message from last episode?

For those of you who didn't know, someone dies this episode.

Until next week.

-EZB

* * *

PS- shoutout to my bud, EquestrianIdiot2.0 for using Jace and Jess (the harpies) in his adaptation of 30 Days of Night in a Gravity Falls setting. I don't want to spoil anything that happens but OUCH and MANY SADS. :'(


	56. Fires of Hate: Part 2

"Been quite a while, hasn't it?" Omir Steindorf asked, holding a hand to his forehead as he peered up to the figure in dark clothing. The same person stared down, the unseen eyes behind the silver mask soullessly studying the scene.

The twins stood by Arline, who still lay on the ground, one arm broken, with shallow holes in her skill seeping blood into the cracked ground. One arm had been slit by a sphere of pure white energy, and she winced as Mabel cradled her. Mabel herself was dirty and messy as her brother, but comparably unhurt. Tears had begun to stream down her face until a few moments ago, when the man atop the pit had appeared.

Dipper's body trembled. He was as unhurt as Mabel, with exception from a few bruises and cuts from the fights that had lead to the hole they had dug themselves into- with the guards. Yet it was his mind that caused him to tremble. Dipper remembered how Multi-bear had spoken about the creature standing above them. Each time it, or he, as Dipper could now see with the various exposed clothing, had spoken, the council of magical creatures went silent. Dipper could only repeat one question over and over in his mind- who's side was he on?

"What brings you down into my humble workplace?" Omir called up, ignoring the trembling of his apprentice behind him. Graupner had not stopped staring up, like Dipper, at the man standing on the edge. He however cradled his injured eye, a small trail of faint blood trailing down his face from under his hand.

"Business," the dark voice stated.

"You haven't changed much then," Omir sighed. He then chuckled, and scratched his neck, "man, this is just giving the worse case of nostalgia. How long has it been since we saw one another? A hundred and seventeen years, give or take a month or two?" he asked.

The twins whipped their eyes to Omir. "Did... did he just say the last time they met was-" Mabel started.

"A hundred years ago?" Dipper repeated.

Omir turned to them, wearing a shy smile. "Oh yeah. Much older than that, however," he chuckled, and turned back to the newcomer, and said in a much more darker, threatening tone, "as he would know very well."

"Not personally," the Guardsman said, "but I recall your previous apprentices. Fools."

"I seem to find myself in their company," Omir grumbled, and glanced back quickly to Graupner. The young man displayed a rude gesture to Omir, who snorted. "Now, Guardsman," he looked back up, "explain your desire to feign your death?"

"Let my apprentices not to follow the same fate," the being stated, "and let you believe I was no longer watching."

"Too bad you never acted sooner," Omir growled, "huh?"

To that, the Guardsman said nothing.

Arline began to stir, trying to pull herself to a sitting position. "M-master..." Arline barely managed to mutter.

"Arline, it's okay," Mabel told her, brushing hair out from the older woman's face. "It's... wait," Arline slowly turned and stared up with Dipper. "Did you say... master?"

The twins quickly exchanged a glance. She was remembering something- not actually here and now. They then both turned to her, and saw her eyes fixed on the man above them. She hadn't meant to say anything else; she meant it.

"The Guardsman-"

"Is her master?!" Dipper finished for Mabel.

"Yes," Omir growled, "some monsters don't die I guess. Lucky for her."

The Guardsman then spoke. "You've changed your name again, Warlock. Omir Steindorf. Cute."

Omir's mouth dropped. All his control in his emotion vanished as quite as a coming avalanche. Mabel could see the fury building in the Sorcerers being. He began to shake, his clutch on his staff growing tighter.

"But even with your growing age," The man above, his black slicked hair behind him at shoulder length, "you will still be little Sefu to me."

Omir screamed and thrust the staff at the Guardsman. "_**Sevth-Na'Enul!**_" Like the orbs, a flash of blinding light erupted out of the end of powerful staff. The air and ground both shook as a beam of concentrated power, six feet tall and wide, slammed into the space that had been where the Guardsman was. The twins screamed as rock and dust fell into the pit- shavings from the impact of magic and earth settling and dancing around them. Mabel held herself over Arline, who fought to see past Mabel.

As Omir lowered the staff after the attack, he stared up, watching the top of the pit above him. "You knew I don't like that. Now," Omir chuckled, "I'm not going to be so nice next time you talk down to me like that."

"Really?" the voice of the Guardsman uttered. He appeared as he had, standing ten paces to the left, in the exact same non-chalet pose he had been previously. "You've changed since then. Given up asking me for help?"

"I've learned that you can't always get someone on your side," Omir told him.

"Have you? Huh," the Guardsman shrugged, "good thing. I don't have to feel bad when I say no to helping you anymore."

Omir snickered at first. Something about that comment struck him as funny. The other four in the pit then watched as Omir laughed, holding his stomach as he belly-laughed up at the imposing figure. A good thirty second window of time was entirely taken up by just laughter. Mabel at point gave in, and chuckled.

"What's so funny?" she asked, "I mean, it's nice that we're laughing, instead of, you know, trying to fight, but why?"

"Him," Omir nudged his head above him, wiping away a tear, "talking like that: like he's no longer in pain."

As several times before, the man in the mask said nothing.

"Ahh, like I thought," Omir grinned, but let his smile fade away. "If you're not going to help _her_, you need to leave, old friend."

"Who?" Dipper asked, and turned to the martial artist. "Arline?"

"That is not who he means," the Guardsman turned his unseen gaze towards the twins.

"Oh, so you still remember her?" Omir asked, focused intently on the man above him, "I half-expected you deliberately pushed her out of your mind." The Guardsman stared only at the twins. "Being guilty doesn't excuse being rude. I'm talking to you, Guardsman," Omir warned him.

"You two have a habit of finding dangerous, deep-buried secrets," the Guardsman stated, looking to the twins.

"Natural habit," Dipper shrugged shakily and gulped. Those sideways black slits for eyes seemed as deep as the bottomless pit.

"You've come to help her, right?" Mabel asked, holding up Arline, who was straining to stand up.

The Guardsman tilted his head, looking now at his apprentice. The twins, no longer sure if they would get an answer, turned to Arline. Her eyes had honed their attention to the mask. Shimering with tears of pain and fatigue, she opened her lips and finally spoke. "I had to try," she said, her voice soft and apologetic.

"You acted on revenge," the deep, dark voice scolded her, "when you had a mission to fulfill." The twins and Omir turned and watched as tears fell from Arline's eyes. Yet the man continued. "I sent you to watch and protect them. Now, tell me, what can you do in that state?" he asked, pointing to her with one gloved hand. She let out a straining cry, and pushed herself off of Mabel. Omir blinked, his eyes wide with shock. The twins as well stared as Arline stood up on her two feet, still broken and bloodied.

Arline stumbled and slipped against the wall, using her broken arm's shoulder as cushioning. She screamed, but turned and pushed off, and finally stood upright, heaving, sweating, and tear-stained. Between her breaths, she said, "I... had... to try..."

The Guardsman shook his head, yet said, "I know."

"Yes, I'm sure you're quite familiar with acting on emotion instead of intellect," Omir sneered up at the dark figure. "You've proven to be so... resourceful for your friends and loved ones."

The sarcasm triggered a response from the dark man. At first, Mabel was able to see a twitch in the fingers within the glove, fighting a temptation to clench and ball into a fist. Afterward, a small chuckle drifted down from the top.

"At least I did _something_."

Omir's face paled in color and his eyes shot wide. The ancient man's jaw began to clench.

"Oh, wait," the man stomped on the edge and leaned closer, "did I just see an emotional response from you?" The Guardsman said, and scratched at the side of his mask, "funny. I thought you were above that sort of thing. You know, maybe if you had been like that," the Guardsman shrugged, and then stretched his neck left and right, "maybe-"

"Graupner," Omir suddenly blurted out. His mouth barely moved- his jaw so tightly locked into place that his lips were the only things that moved, "leave."

"What?!" he spat back, "how, exactly? there isn't any kind of-" Omir snarled and stabbed the wall with his staff. "WHOA! The heck, old man!?" Graupner shouted. Omir twisted the staff slightly, and sections of rock began to move themselves out of the smooth, circular walls, providing make-shift stairs up. "Oh," Graupner mumbled.

"You'll want to leave, all of you," Graupner snarled at the three beside him. "My friend and I need to have a little talk on manners."

"When you say talk," Mabel started, holding onto Arline and pulling her towards the out-jutting rocks, "you mean an actual, pleseant, nice-to-catch-up chat with tea?"

Omir bared his teeth as he stared up, and the same white orbs he had used previously appeared, spiraling around his free hand. "Does that answer your question?" he said to Mabel without looking to her.

"Does for me," Dipper grumbled.

"You three," the Guardsman said as the seven orbs around Omir's hand spun faster and faster, "leave. This isn't going to be pretty."

"I disagree," Omir rolled his eyes, "our fights tend to be... _flashy_." The orbs, spinning so fast around his hand that they were a blur of a hollow disc, were throw with a loud cry from Omir.

Dipper stared at the moment of combat he could see. The disc flew up, growing wider the moment before it exploded. Light and rock spilled around them in small pebbles that rained around them, peppering all five with debris. Graupner had already gotten some fifteen feet up, and barely slowed down. The three stared into the new cloud of dust as a figured parted it as he dived, literally leaping off the edge and into combat.

"Dipper! Go!" Mabel shouted at him.

Dipper jerked to her, and then helped himself under Arline's arm and shoulder. As he did, he stepped onto the first of many spiraling stairs, and began to climb.

It would have been easier if the by the second step he hadn't nearly been knocked over by another blast of wind and sound. He chanced a glance to his left and watched as he climbed, trying to stay balanced with Mabel and Arline.

Omir Steindorf now spun around desperately, swinging with precision and cunning at a figure who seemed to flow faster than liquid itself. The Guardsman, entirely unarmed, effortlessly dived around the already incredibly fast Sorcerer. He made it seem like nothing. His masked face always keeping a bead on his target, the dark-claded man ducked, spun away, strafed in an out of combat as easily as if he was shadow itself.

After one impressive spinning swipe from Omir's staff, the Guardsman leapt back and found himself against the wall. Omir grinned and as he ended the momentum from his last swing, he shoved his hand forward and projected another ball of light, this time the size of a beach-ball, and cast it at the masked figure.

Dipper stalled as he watched earth explode and splinter out in cracks that lead out twenty five feet in each direction. Omir smiled, and lifted his hands away from the danger.

"Dipper, keep going," Mabel grunted as she tried stepping without him.

"But-" he started, ready to point out the demise of their ally.

In the moment of doubt he had, Dipper and Omir both were stunned. Before the dust could even settle by the wall, the Masked man had appeared behind Omir in mid-dash. Steindorf could only turn in shock, and spun his face into a powerful punch. The Sorcerer gasped, spun, and then received another kick in the mid-section. Lifted off the ground and into the air, the once older-looking man found his footing mid-air and landed, lifting a clenched hand to his face. It was heavily bruised.

"You hit as hard as I recall," Omir grumbled, wiping away spit from his lips.

"I haven't been idle for a hundred years," The Guardsman stated as he faced him at ease, his arms at his sides.

"Neither have I!" Omir roared and gripped his staff with both hands. The entire surface glowed with a vibrant white ferocity. He slammed it into the ground, where the earth split and cracked.

As Dipper and Mable climbed, large chunks of earth within the pit began to crumble. Shaking and trembling with unseen magic, rocks and entire boulders began to levitate out of the walls around them.

The twins only had a split second to react as the rock steps beneath them began to sway and take new shape. Mabel and Dipper yelled- barely able to remain upright with Arline as their current step levitated and floated away from the wall. Suspended above the bottom of the pit by magic itself, they watched as more and more chunks of earth floated and crashed into one another.

Below them, the rocks that were nearby shaved themselves into shapes. Simple geometric shapes began to form, and then throw themselves at the Guardsman.

The ground shook as entire boulders slammed into the ground, bludgeoning the area the Guardsman had been. He avoided each attack barely- diving away and rolling from the devastating attacks. Each time a shadow of a coming boulder encompassed him, his speed and maneuverability became un-recordable. Again and again he dodged.

It seemed the Guardsman had enough at a certain point. Mabel was able to glance down as she and Dipper continued to follow the floating steps upward, and she saw the Guardsman attack. From nothing but siphoning shadow he materialized a simple spear, only two feet long. As one of the boulders hurtled towards him, he hurled it silently.

As shadow itself, the spear was fast as light and just as terrifying as darkness. It imbedded itself into the boulder and vanished. The Guardsman this time remained still, watching as the boulder fell to him, and then as it would have crushed him, split into two perfect halves- falling on either side. He was perfectly unharmed.

Through the split boulder, Omir stood, holding up his hands. Above him, a storm of glowing spheres floated into the air, cascading bright light all around. Shadows sharpened and shrunk to be slivers of darkness, and the form of the two combatants stood vibrantly out.

"I knew it," Omir grinned, watching the Guardsman, "the Paths is just an extension of your own branch of magic," he spat.

"Magic is changing reality," The Guardsman stated, raising his face to star up, presumably at the sources of light, "just like this. It creates monsters and corrupts minds."

"You still think that, even after all this time?" Omir growled, gripping his staff and swinging it to his side, "I've used my magic to make a company, and with it's resources, I've built communities! Brought lives to new conditions and welfare! Magic empowers me!"

"You really think that these balls of light are a part of you?" the Guardsman said, holding a hand up, indicating to the floating orbs, "as much as you use magic, it uses you."

Omir scoffed. "Fine. Boring old you won't change, I get that. Just die then," he said, and swiped his hand downwards. The storm of orbs rained down on the Guardsman, who darted aside and began to run.

"Look at them go!" Dipper said, ducking occasionally to avoid an orb whipping by,

"Sightsee later!" Mabel called to him over the din from below as orb after orb slammed into the earth.

"Right," Dipper nodded and continued helping Arline upwards.

The twins continued to avoid the results of the fight below as much as they could. Even as the steps swerved and twisted like a coiling snake, they pressed on, carrying the injured Arline up as they could.

As an explosion below rocked the air and once again nearly stunned the twins, Arline spoke up again. "He needs my help," she groaned, and tried pushing off the twins.

"No!" Mabel pleaded, gripper her forcefully, "you could die!"

"Not to mention we really need to patch you up," Dipper said, noticing that some of Arline's blood had gotten onto his hands. The martial artists shoulder in particular was looking for the worst- a nearly clean hole through her back and out the front. Dipper lifted off his jacket.

"Dipper, hold on," Mabel told him, and lifted Arline to the next step, one against the rocks. "Here," she waved him next to her. Finally he was able to wrap his vest around Arline, who's only reaction to the tightening vest was a tremble in her eyes.

"Thanks," she mumbled, looking pale and faint.

"Let's keep going!" Dipper said, and looked forward. There, his eyes pinpointed the only thing he could have hoped more than the exit or help what he could see- the Warlock.

Graupner Kinley had paused in his ascent. Holding an unseen object in his robes, he stared down, peering past the floating rocks and steps to watch the ongoing battle. His face was one of, to Dipper's anger, excitement. A small grin had grown across his face, and his eyes were wide.

"That son of a-" Dipper growled, and stepped ahead.

"Dipper, what?!" Mabel called to Dipper, who only turned back once.

"Can you help Arline?" Dipper asked quickly. Mabel, in shock, turned to her master and shrugged.

"I don't know! She's hurt, and I'm not as fast without your help," she explained. Dipper bared his teeth angrily, glancing behind him. "Dipper, don't go on alone! We need to get up together!"

"If we let Graupner go, we could have this all happen again," Dipper rationalized to Mabel, "I'm going to catch up to him and beat him within an inch of his life for everything he's done!" he shouted.

"Dipper-" Mabel started, but a shake from below as another large explosion tossed all three nearly onto their feet, or have them fall far below. Mabel's opinion wavered, and with a pained face shouted, "okay, just don't get hurt!"

"I won't! I'm not letting him get away!" Dipper shouted and spun away from his sister and began to run up the stairs. The Warlock heard Dipper coming the moment he started running. Flight came before fight with him, and Graupner Kinley stumbled first and then began to rush up the stairs as fast as he could.

As Dipper pursued his target, the fight below continued.

"_**Gra'ith Melisew**_!" Omir shouted. The orbs, now in dire chase with the Guardsman, formed thin lines of similar color and glow, and slowly began to form a net. The Guardsman ducked away from a trip-wire at his neck and continued to run. As he did, he passed by his initial thrown spear, the two pointed long and black pole that tapered off at the ends into perfectly sharp points. He whipped around and dodged a wall of newly formed light-wires and ran away from it.

"You can't keep running," Omir told him at a distance, watching his magic do the work for him, "in the end, you'll be over come without your shadows."

True to his words, the Guardsman had less and less speed with his movement. Agility and distance became herculean feats as dozens of orbs spun around, now with strings connecting them, trying to catch the Guardsman at his work.

They nearly formed a perfect circle around him, and the Guardsman stopped, and in a desperate move, whipped his hand and threw a single black dart straight at Omir's face. The Sorcerer merely smiled and brushed the attack aside with his own white staff. The moment the resounding thud of the spear behind Omir echoed around them, the orbs dashed around and closed around the Guardsman. He could barely move an inch, or else risk having one of the wires be cut.

"Got you!" Omir roared and laughed. "I _knew_ that would get you in the end!" he pointed at his foe as he laughed. "This is just precious!"

The Guardsman said nothing, instead looking to the orbs that were closest to his mask.

"So, what should I do with you now?" Omir thought aloud, stepping closer as he scratched his chin, "I could kill you with the wires: just slice you into slivers. Then again... no," Omir shook his head as the humor was gone from his face, "she wouldn't want that."

"She wouldn't have wanted a lot of things," the Guardsman muttered quietly.

"No. I suppose not. Us fighting. But she value you, so killing you like this wouldn't do much more than just upset her when she comes back," Omir said to the Gaurdsman, having paced closer, and now before him.

"You can't bring the dead back," the Guardsman growled.

"What? No, no," Omir shook his head and grinned, "the correct thing to say is 'I _shouldn't_ bring the dead back', not 'I can't'. Big difference."

"If you were half as intelligent as you pretended to be," the Guardsman cut with his words in a rush, "you'd know that the spells that animated the dead have terrible prices."

"I do. That's why I'm going to make a new one," Omir told him with a smile and a sigh, "a new spell so great that it'll require all the magic in the world at my fingertips." The Guardsman finally looked to him. "Ah. You finally got it," Omir nodded.

"How?" The Guardsman asked.

"Anonymous tip from three years ago. Polite, but strange fellow in a dream," Omir stated as he stepped back to explain, "whispered the incantations I had been missing for so many years. Now, with his power, and you captured-"

"Me? Captured?" The Guardsman asked, and dared to shake his head, "not exactly."

"You threw away the only weapon you could used to cut these bindings," Omir warned him. "The shadow darts you've always used are nothing more than-"

"What makes you think I threw away my spear?"

Omir gasped and spun. Behind him, the exact spot the spear should have been, was a shadow, shrinking, smaller rod of darkness. As it evaporated, Omir spun just in time to see the real spear wiggle itself into the Guardsman's hand like a strand of silk in the wind. Sharp as void, it sliced away at the tethers of light connecting the orbs, and in two lightning-fast slashes, the Guardsman cut each and every orb, and thrust his spear with one hand at the Sorcerer.

Omir reacted as best he could- blocking the attack downwards with a parry from his own quarterstaff. The spear and quarterstaff met, and a blast of wind fit for a cyclone erupted out into the pit. The four above screamed as boulders and rocks jostled and slammed into one another. the Guardsman wasn't done- using the back end of the spear, he pulled up and pushed forward, attempting to use the unblocked back end to slam it into the Sorcerers face. Again though, he was blocked. Another blast of wind.

"I see you've finally made a quarterstaff that can repel the effects of my spear," the Guardsman told him, "good job. It didn't break."

"You just used me!" Omir scowled, bearing into the face of his opponent, "You've learned how to warp your spear like liquid! You... how dare you! Pretending to be immobilized so I would tell you more what you needed to know!"

"Yeah," the Guardsman shrugged, "that's always worked. On you and pretty much every other person who thought they were in control ever."

"You mock me!" Omir roared.

"Eh, don't know about that one," the Guardsman shrugged.

"I'm sick of you looking down on me!" Omir screamed, "you! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE! OF ALL _THINGS_!"

A third blast of sheer wind rumbled to Mabel and Arline, who were stumbling on after Dipper, who was far ahead. Mabel gripped onto her master as the wind passed. She could feel her tethers to gravity lessen from the absolute force of power behind each wave of energy. Daring to look down once, she saw the two now sparring, exchanging attacks and parry's with one another masterfully.

"Is he winning?" Arline asked.

"Eh," Mabel peered down, and struggle to keep in pace with the fight, "define winning."

"He's still fighting. He's winning," Arline chuckled, and winced, "ah, ouch. Shoulder still hurts. Ow."

"We're going to get you patched up as soon as we can!" Mabel told her as a fourth shockwave blasted past them. A rock, nearing the size of a golf ball, scratched across Mabel's chin drawing blood. "Ow!" she winced, and quickly went to wipe away the blood dripping on her face. "Man, no one is walking away clean."

"In a fight, no one really does," Arline told her.

"You can be wise and wizened and stuff after we're out of here," Mabel said after she rolled her eyes.

Ahead, Dipper was running as fast as he could. Leaping from stone to stone, he chased after Graupner with a dedication he put into his work. Ahead was his quarry- his target- his mission. That man was the start and cause of all this. Had he not been here, had they had not let him go the first time, he would never had discovered the town's secrets.

Had they never let him go the second time, they may have been able to prevent the disaster at the talent show, and endangering the town.

If they had stopped him the third time, he would never have escaped from the police station and continued his work, and made whatever deals with Yuki had had made.

No more chances.

Dipper's mind was made up. This man had a target the size of the state on his back, and Dipper was sure as hell going to nail him for everything he had done.

Ahead though, Graupner saw his pursuer. "You're r-risking a lot, k-kid," Graupner shouted, and then spun suddenly, and hurled a ball of fire at Dipper.

No time to think, Dipper turned and leapt aside, avoiding the black fire. The heat drove past Dipper as he jumped away from the spiraling up stairs. He would have fallen sixty feet down had there not been another boulder floating in mid-air. He landed on it, still in the open. The Warlock turned to him, but chuckled. Dipper was beginning to drift down and away.

"G-give my regards t-to them below!" Graupner sneered and saluted Dipper as his boulder sunk farther and faster.

Dipper bounded as fast as he could. In the time to stand up fully and find a new boulder to jump to, he had already fallen several feet. The boulders wouldn't support him any more than a few moments. He leapt to another, and staggered. The rock, like the one behind him, began to sink. So he ran again and leapt.

More and more rocks he bounded to, using them as perpetual stepping stones. There would be no forgiveness should he mess up- not falling into a stream or small pond. Sixty five, seventy, seventy five, eight feet above the raging battle, and Dipper wasn't willing to guess if falling would result in a serious injury, or the worse alternative. After all, he had a promise to keep to a friend in regards to his life.

After six more jumps, Dipper spotted Graupner again. Running along the snaking trail, Dipper watched him as he leapt yet again, in a counter-direction, using the boulders as leverage. Once several feet above Graupner, who still had yet to notice Dipper, the twin grasped a nearby smaller rock floating nearby his face, and hurled right at the Warlock.

While not a deadly projectile, the rock would have seriously injured an limb or bone- aided by the magical forces keeping it at neutral gravity, and the acceleration of Dipper's throw. However, Dipper was frustrated by his aim- the shift in the boulder the moment he landed had made his toss off-center.

Graupner stumbled back and nearly collapsed backwards as the rock splintered and then fell, no longer affected by the same forces as it smashed in front of him. "You!?" he roared, glaring at Dipper, shaken to the core.

"We're not done yet you slime ball of grease!" Dipper shouted, leaping higher, seeking to avoid the falling boulder and gain higher ground.

The Warlock made no immediate reply. Instead, he raced forward, and from his outstretched hand he cast out another stream of black fire. Just as Dipper's rock, the fire missed and left the twin unscathed, save but a frightening moment of panic as the air around him heated uncomfortably. Dipper remembered something about the black fire- how Arline once had commented on it's dangerous properties.

Scanning below him briefly as he scrambled onto the next boulder, he could see the dying flames. Rock was singed, but the embers were what he could have expected from cooked rock. No screams of the damned or wails of agony- just scorched earth. Still, he was summoning fire from his hands of an unusual color. He would avoid it, if at all possible.

Far below the four ascending figures, the two powerful duelists danced.

The Sorcerer Omir Stiendorf grew sweaty and filthy. His impressive suit and tie were dirtied and torn, and patches of dirt and dust were now woven in with the fabric. His expression had undergone the most amount of transformation. Long gone was the friendly demeanor and firm grasp on reality; rage and fury danced like fire behind the eyes of the ancient spell-caster. Again and again he swung at and blocked attacks from the Guardsman, and the more frequent their attacks, the more destroyed their surroundings became. Each blast raked into solid rock, propelling even more rocks and boulders into the air.

After a flourish and spin, Omir leapt away from his opponent and swiped his hand up. With a yell, he threw his hand back down. The entire first layer of floating rocks lost their gravitational immunity, and lunged themselves at the Guardsman. Rather than dodge, the man looked up, and a chuckle floated out from under his mask.

"Amateur," he mumbled.

As Arline had once, the Guardsman erupted in fire. Pure, deadly, orange and yellow flame danced around the man, and he pointed his spear up. The inferno that enclosed him balled up at the tip of the weapon, and there, he cast it forward.

Yet the rocks then stabilized, and the fireball, now unleashed from the Guardsman suddenly turned and flew at Omir. The Guardsman gasped from under his mask and spun. Omir held out his hand, and at a distance, held and manipulated the ball of fire.

It began to grow.

"No," Omir shook his head, "that was amateur."

"You really think that's going to do me in? Fire?" The Guardsman asked as he watched the ball grow to the size of a large yoga ball.

"Your spear can't lose, and my quarterstaff can't be defeated. The enchantments make it hard for either of us to really get an upper hand!" Omir shouted as the ball of fire took a size of a small truck, "but this," he roared, and the ball jumped the size of full bus, "_**THIS AUGHT TO DO IT!**_"

Giving the ball of fire a quick study, the Guardsman shook his head. "Whatever," he said, and threw the spear into the ball of fire.

Mabel looked down just in time to see the spear pierce the other side of the huge sun-like globe of fire. Arline too turned down. Dipper and Graupner, in the middle of their dance of rock and fire, paused and looked down.

The world froze before it shattered.

The ball of fire exploded with such ferocity that the entire dark pit was washed over with bright orange light. The fire began to flume up and outwards, heading towards Mabel and Arline first. No boulder nearby could give cover as a literal wall of flame soared towards them. Mabel had no idea where to flee, where to run, and the step beneath her began to shake.

"Here!" Arline shouted. Still injured, wounded, and bleeding, the martial artist kicked out at the rock next to them, and splintered a hole the size of the two of them. "In!" she roared as the fire was now only a few feet below them. Mabel and her jumped inside, and the twin was pushed against the wall as Arline let her back to the side. "I'll be fine! Just stay against me and the rock!" she shouted. The fire blasted past them. Mabel watched the heat pour over them, heating the air and rock like a furnace. Mabel wanted to scream- the sound was so loud it felt like all she could think was the very rumble of flame itself.

Dipper and Graupner had forsaken their fight entirely. The gates of hell itself had come for them, swallowing everything in it's path. Boulders and rocks that didn't get swallowed by the flames crumbled and shattered by the instantaneous cooking and pressure difference. To the escaping young men, all it meant was a certain death if they did not move fast enough.

Call it luck, call it endurance, call it whatever you want- the two made it to the top of the pit at the same time as the fire reached them. Diving into the closest hole, the two flew inside and rolled away as the bright orange light spilled past them and further above. The ground shook and trembled as they both stood up and faced the doorway, watching as rock was heated to melting point as the fire passed them.

Finally it died away, leaving wispy trails of smoke from the destroyed rock. The rumbling however had not finished- rock fell past the hole. Far below, large boulders were falling into the bottom of the pit, filling it as best as the large chunks could. From Graupner and Dipper's standing, all they could hear was the echoes of collapsing earth.

Then they realized they were standing next to one another.

Graupner gasped and quickly reached inside his jacket and swiped out at Dipper with a knife. The twin ducked and flipped, kicking Graupner away from him and landing on his back. As the Warlock stumbled back, Dipper rolled backwards and pushed himself back to his feet.

As he stood, he realized he was in a small antechamber. To his far left was another hole in the walls, just as the one that would lead out the pit, but unlike the pit, the hole had no spiraling stairs that could lead up or down. Just a straight descend into darkness. A length of rope sat by the hole, rusted and uncared for. Several other tin trash cans sat scattered by the hole as well. Other than that, the walls, floor, and ceiling were all the same- crude stone carved out by basic machine.

They faced each other, in this nearly empty room; deep under the earth. Hand over daggers on one side, balled up fists across from him. With his hands over knife handles, Dipper saw the damage Arline had caused to his eye. Swollen, puffy and dark, she had split skin across the cheek and on the brow; effectively cutting into his face by a good three inches.

"How's it feel to have someone cut into you for a change?" Dipper snarled at Graupner.

"I'm used t-to it by now," he muttered back.

"Oh, is big scary boss beating you up for being an ass?" Dipper retorted.

"Like you c-care," Graupner spat.

"I do," Dipper grinned, and flexed his forearm, "I think I like the idea of being a little even with you. Arm for an arm?"

Graupner glanced to the arm for a moment, and back to Dipper. He studied the gaze the twin held. If he had searched for weakness, he was disappointed with his discoveries. After the pause, he stepped back again, distancing himself from Dipper.

"Kid, I'm d-done fighting with you and your sister," he said quietly, holding a hand out, "I d-don't want anymore to d-do with either of you."

"Good for you," Dipper said.

"So just let me go, and-"

"No."

Graupner stared. Dipper's expression, while dark, was anything but relenting. Hate flowed from him; bitter and dangerous as the fires that had only just ceased. His posture unchanged and his attitude darkening, the twin had to say only one word to remind Graupner of his current situation.

"Well, f-fine!" Graupner snapped, and opened his palms. The daggers in his hands, as well as four more under his robes, floated into the air effortlessly, aided by his magic. "I'm g-going to show you why you t-t-take an offer when I g-give you one!"

"You can try!" Dipper shouted.

A loud scream out the door caused Dipper to turn. Mabel was calling for help.

"Or, I d-don't know- you c-can save your sister," Graupner sneered as Dipper's conviction flickered. Dipper stared back, torn between ending the deadly rivalry and helping his sister. "To -bbe fair though, b-based on how you help p-people, you'd probably just end up k-k-killing her if you went-"

With a blinding, white-hot rage, Dipper knew what to do. The trigger was pressed. He would fight.

One by one, the knives darted at Dipper like arrows, and one by one, he avoided them. His body was worn and tired and beaten, but he felt alive and vicious. Today he would vent all his anger and frustration at the man responsible for so much destruction out in one fight. Each dagger missed him by inches, leaving a chilling ghostly reminder of what would have happened had he not dodged well.

Then he was upon the man. Graupner motioned with his hands, and the daggers behind Dipper whipped around, and came to flank the male twin. Dipper didn't care- he had already won the fight. With a roar, he threw the first punch and landed it square in the man's stomach.

Graupner coughed and stumbled back. As he did, the floating knives wavered, and fell from the air for a near moment. Yet they persisted as Graupner stumbled back up. Dipper wouldn't let him get far- he jumped at him and kicked out.

His foot landed clean across the man's face and spun him around completely. Red in the face and spluttering for breath, Graupner never had a chance to see Dipper ready to take the next shot. Sweeping his leg under the man as he spun, the Warlock was knocked off his feat, and then Dipper punched out with both hands. Mid-air the older man was struck, and he fell back, rolling in the rock and dirt, coughing and gasping for air as he crawled back to his feet, holding a hand to his stomach.

"You-"

The Warlock's wasted words haunted him. Dipper had not relented on his assault. In mid-air, the male twin already twisted his body and kicked out. Across the Warlock's face his foot struck. Spit flew from the man's mouth as his jaw and face moved at two separate times. The force was too great for the Warlock to merely spun around. This time he was thrown off his feet and against a wall.

Dipper stood fully, staring down at the crumbled man. Shakily, the Warlock pushed himself off the wall and turned. His face was beaten and swollen, blood trickling from the split on his red eye and a faint trail coming from his mouth. Snarling despite his clearly severe beatings, he glared at Dipper.

"You c-climbed the entire way up, j-jumping on rocks like an animal," he said, biting at every word. "You... you fought your way d-down the entire security staff! You... how are you _still b-beating me_?!"

Dipper breathed heavily, enjoying the sight from above. Seeing the man there, furious at his loss, begging for answers, was just the start of what Dipper wanted to see. He needed this man to beg for mercy. To know the fear he put into others be instilled into his own being for once.

"Because I'm better than you," Dipper said, smiling.

The Warlock's snarl erupted into a scream of bloody murder. Thrusting his hands forward, he cast out the same black fire he had used previously. No time to be cunning and flawlessly executed as his attacks, Dipper ducked and ran aside, rushing from the blistering hot but light-less flames.

The Warlock, now at a distance had his chance to fight again. Four daggers flew at Dipper, while two returned to the Warlock. As he had before, Dipper was able to dodge and avoid each deadly projectile, huffing as he pushed himself away from each attack. They weren't as fast as Arline's strikes, but unlike her punches, they could kill him if he failed to dodge properly. As he landed after the fourth miss, he saw the Warlock lunging at him again.

The man had no form. Rushing forward with both his weapons at either side, he slashed at Dipper again and again. While his speed was certainly impressive and not something to be mocked, his accuracy was terrible. Dipper could step aside and duck under each attack with enough time to keep an eye on the stance of his opponent. He could study him and monitor his stamina while dodging him.

Over time, Dipper found openings. One swing from a dagger, Dipper knocked aside the hand and used a back handed slap against the elbow. The Warlock stumbled, turned, and used up more energy to swing at Dipper.

Dipper leaned back and grinned. He had done it- with the help of his sister and Arline, he was able to think on the fight. He could actually think ergonomically- using the appropriate amount of energy to effectively decide how to best put down the Warlock. One punch and kick at a time, Dipper would wear him out steadily, over time, letting the man do most of his work for him.

The work was paying off. Dipper watched as each attack separated themselves by more time. The gaps in-between slashes and stabs grew longer and more potent. This was his turn to shine. With a grin, he grabbed the hand during a stab, twisted it, and thrust his knee upwards. While he didn't strike the elbow, the impact was true against his arm. The Warlock screamed and dropped the knife instantly, recoiling his arm to his chest while holding out his other hand, threatening Dipper with the knife.

"S-So you've g-g-gotten b-better," the Warlock stuttered, sweat pouring down his face as he studied Dipper, "but this fight is f-far from-" Dipper snapped out with his foot and knocked out the gripped knife from his hand. He hadn't even been particularly fast about it- but the Warlock had been far, far too slow. "Ah," Graupner gulped as he felt his kicked hand with a small tremble.

Dipper snorted, and with a spin and twist, leapt and kicked with his other foot. Graupner was thrown off his feet and fell backwards, stumbling over his own feet and onto his back.

"I've gotten much, _much_ better since we really had a fight," Dipper breathed, walking closer. Graupner spun around off his back and tried crawling away. "So let's start counting down the times I make us even."

"You d-don't have to do th-that," Graupner pleaded as he crawled away. Dipper replied by kicking him square in the side of his ribs. The Warlock cried out and fell aside, holding his gut. "Okay!" he roared, holding up one of his hands to Dipper in desperation, "okay! You win! J-just... just let me up!"

"You want up?" Dipper asked as he panted faster. Graupner, staring up at Dipper as he struggled to breathe slowly nodded. "Oh, here, let me help you." Dipper reached down, and started to lift the man up. "I'll let you go, but first, let's make things even."

"Fine!" Graupner spat as he stumbled up, clawing at Dipper's arms angrily. "Th-throw your p-punches and kicks! You got one for the t-time I cut you!"

"Sure. That kick was one," Dipper nodded. He then slapped Graupner across the face with the back of his fist, knocking him to his knees. "That was threatening to kill Soos," Dipper stated, and then kicked him again, this time in the back, "and that was for sending a tulpa after me and my sister!"

Graupner groaned, and started to climb. Then Dipper lifted him up by the scruff of his collar, and punched him square in the face. "GAH!" Graupner yelled and gasped as blood fell from his lip as his skin split from the impact of fist to face.

"And that was for Pacifica, and ruining her chance to get her overbearing parents off of her back," Dipper announced, waving his knuckles in the air. Despite being glass jaw, the man still was made of bone, and hitting it with force hurt.

"Oh, g-got it," Graaupner quietly said, daring to look up at Dipper, "you d-d-done?"

"Maybe," Dipper asked, "I've got a burning question. The day the phoenix fell, there was supposed to be no storm. Was that you?" Dipper asked.

"No!" Graupner yelled, holding his hands up to his face, "that was m-my master! He said that holding it here would invoke an internal unrest and possible destroy the town socially, and-"

"Good for you," Dipper sighed, but clenched his knuckles, "and how about Jackson Furlow, the hunter?" Graupner gulped this time. "Thought so," Dipper growled.

"okay-" The Warlock started, but Dipper interrupted, lifting him again. Graupner saw the fist coming a mile away. "No- no-"

The impact was dead even into the man's eye. He screamed as his slowly healing scar across his eye split open further, blood trickling down his face again. Dipper snarled, bathing in the joy of making this horrible man, this vile, monstrous human being, suffer.

"That was for _everything_ he did to me, my sister, and the people who live around here," Dipper declared as the Warlock hung limp in his reach. "And now, the last thing you have to do-"

"Finally," Graupner sighed, so beaten and tired looking that Dipper could have sworn he was about to pass out.

"I get even with you on everyone in Gravity Falls today you terrorized," Dipper said, pulling back his fist, "one... punch... per... person."

"Wait!" Graupner gasped, trying pitifully to pull himself away from Dipper's clutches, "but that's over two thousand people!"

"Then we'll be here a while, won't we!?" Dipper shouted, and threw his next punch. Stomach.

He thought of the man, who had so desperately once tried killing him and his sister. Forehead.

The times he and Mabel had to sit up, late at night, worrying if they would hear about Soos or anyone being found dead in town because of the Warlock. Chest.

Blind fury. Shoulder. Rage. Stomach. All the hopelessness of fighting a more experienced and resourced opponent boiled down into the fit of anger that fueled his strikes. Gut. Each one slammed into Graupner Kinley, the dreaded, fearful, terrifying Warlock with prejudice. Neck.

The man was a mess of spluttering, desperate, frantic cries and whimpers. Dipper was the lord of the man's life now, punishing him for everything he had ever done to deserve this kind of retaliation. Dipper slowly became lost in the anger, holding the man with one hand as he punched with the other. Nothing would stop him. His breath streamed in and out seamlessly as he brutally struck his hated enemy down. Each wave of pain through his fist reminded him of a past frustration; the pain Bill Cipher had created, the loss of his second grand-uncle, more and more he saw flashes of what else he would beat down as he did this man.

Graupner screamed for help, begging for Dipper to stop.

Dipper could only smile, and he decided to pull back once more and drive this next punch into the man's nose so far he would drive cartilage into the brain.

The punch was thrown, and the Warlock lunged at Dipper, a burst of Adrenaline at the end of his life forcing him to fight. Dipper, so caught off guard by the sudden change in direction that he was unable to find this footing. Suddenly he was on his back, as blood, sweat, and tears fell into his face. The Warlock was pulling at him, clawing at him with hands shaking from pain.

Dipper made to grab the man's neck, ready to choke, ready to squeeze.

The Warlock lifted his hands to Dipper's arms.

Black fire erupted out.

Dipper was no longer himself. He wasn't watching what had just happened in his own mind. From another, far distant, impossible perspective, Dipper watched as black fire burst out around his arms and incinerated his skin. Hands, wrist, and arms up to the elbows engulfed in flame black to sight, but hellish to the touch.

Had he the option, Dipper would have wanted to remain in that space between being himself and watching from the infinity of outside perspective. Only then the pain settled in and he remembered what it was to be harmed.

What had just happened to him was much, much worse than that.

Dipper screamed out every bit of air his lungs had once held. He must have gone blind from the pain as he stumbled away and fell onto his sides, feeling his hands tremble and convulse uncontrollably. The sheer, undiluted wrath of the black fire left him entirely prone, yelling and screaming as his hands blistered and scarred before his eyes.

He lost them. He had lost his hands.

No, they were still there, but under no reasonable reason would be willingly move them for anything. He would let them stay in the safety of his chest. He dared not touch them against anything. They stung with a higher volume of pain than anything he could have considered possible.

What had just happened?

Hadn't he been winning a second ago? Hadn't he been getting revenge on the man who caused him so much suffering and pain, and to those he cared about?

What had happened... he had lost

In the distance of five feet, but what was an infinity to Dipper, the black figure rose.

The Warlock, his bloodied eyes filled with shock, stared down at his own hands, slowly grinning. Drool was streaking down his lips as he started to laugh. Blood and sweat mixed in the air as he began to roar with laughter, looking down on Dipper, who slowly realized that Graupner was still there, now towering over him.

"AMAZING!" Graupner screamed at the top of his lungs, and clapped his hands together in applause, "j-just amazing! You had th-the fight! Flipped the t-tables on me! Then, you sc-sc-screwed up _big_ time!" he roared with laughter.

Pushing away with what strength he had in his feet, Dipper struggled away. The loose rock and dirt on the floor barely distracted him as it dug into his back. Any other pain compared to his screaming hands was a far distant memory lost to his mind. All he could focus on was the realization that Graupner was in control right now.

The furious, beaten, blood-thirsty Warlock was in control.

"Now this is what I've wanted t-to see," Graupner said, wiping away tears from his face, "you below me. G-Groveling. Finally, f-f-finally I see it," he sighed, buckling at the knees, but still standing. "This is what it's like. I've... wanted th-this _soo_ badly." He stepped forward, and Dipper let out a shuddering sob. "Oh, yes, that's r-right," Graupner sneered as he leaned closer to Dipper, "I'm your g-god now."

Dipper stared back up at the blue eyes of the blond man before him, wondering if they would be the last things he'd see.

"And now, g-god says," Graupner stood up, and stretched his fingers, "goodbye."

Dipper closed his eyes and pulled away.

He had only hoped that the last color of eyes he'd see were green.

He was still there. His hands were still burnt. Pain still wracked him.

Had he died?

Was death really that easy and painless? Dipper peeked open one eye, and gasped.

Graupner had turned to a new voice at the end of the tunnel, rushing inside. Striding with deliberate steps and making his way quickly towards him was a figure wearing a beanie hat and cargo pants.

"Yuki?" Graupner asked as he stepped aside, letting Yuki rush to Dipper.

"No!"

The alien slid down next to Dipper, staring at his hands. The male twin could only look at the deep pink and violet eyes of the alien he had once trusted. Those strange eyes studied the wounds at a distance, but with more intensity than Dipper had ever seen. They fixated on the wounds until Yuki closed his eyes and looked away.

"Blackfire won't let th-them heal," the Warlock said from what could have been, according to Dipper, miles away.

"We had a deal," Yuki quietly said.

"Yeah? T-tell that to my f-face," Graupner snarled, turning away, massaging his face. "He nearly killed me."

"You could have surrendered!" Yuki shouted, turning away and standing to face Graupner. "You could have avoided attacking them as I asked!"

"Our d-deal wasn't about attacking them!" Graupner shouted in response. "It was about not _harming_ them!"

"You call _**THAT**_ not harming!?" Yuki screamed, pointing to Dipper's hands. Graupner glanced to Dipper, then to Yuki, and groaned.

"You see what he d-did to me, right?" Graupner wove a hand at his face, "look at my eye! I d-doubt it'll ever recover."

"Your scars won't last for the rest of time," Yuki scolded him.

"Whatever," Graupner rolled his eyes, and the winced, holding a hand to his face, "th-that hurts. The heck are you d-doing here, anyway? I thought you wanted out of this."

"I told you I'd have nothing to do with your schemes," Yuki firmly stated, "and I'm here to help them away," he said, stepping towards Dipper. He made it half way to Dipper, who stared and listened silently from his spot against the wall. Graupner cleared his throat loudly, stalling Yuki.

"Out of the way, Yuki. I'm f-finishing our score."

Yuki froze. Refusing to turn around, he watched Dipper as his mind raced. Dipper could see the eyes of the alien darting side to side, as if reading through entire pages of ideas in record speeds.

"No," Yuki said, standing fully up straight.

"Just g-go away," Graupner snarled, "you're not part of this."

"This doesn't need to go any further," Yuki said as he turned to the Warlock.

"Yes it d-does!" Graupner shouted, stomping his foot. "The k-kid tried killing me! Really tried it!"

"That makes you even," Yuki snorted.

Graupner was not impressed. His insistent posture and angered demeanor took a dark turn: his eyes locked onto Yuki, and he shook his head. "Stand aside, Y-Yuki. You're not m-my enemy. I t-told you I'd rather work w-with you."

"I told you I don't need any more family than what I have," Yuki insisted. "I will not move. Leave. This ends now."

"This doesn't end until I say it does!" Graupner shouted, and a burst of fire erupted to the ceiling from his hands. Yuki flinched, but stayed his ground.

"You promised for my aid, you would not hurt or kill Dipper!" Yuki shouted and pointed to him. "Your promised-"

"If he stayed out of my way!" Graupner shouted back. "He didn't, d-did he? D-Damn near killed me!"

"Honor your deal!" Yuki shouted at Graupner, and whipped back to check on Dipper, "Dipper, please stand if you can and leave."

Dipper opened his mouth, attempting to form words. Anything would have been nice. All the words and things he wanted to say to Yuki blurred together into a single guttural cry. His mind demanded the answers, but his voice could not- the pain coursing through his body too intense still.

_Why, Yuki? What are you doing? _

Yuki grimaced as he watched the lips form words, but the throat unable to follow up. "I'm sorry, Dipper, "Yuki said quietly. He turned back to the Warlock, "please, Graupner. This can end now. Dipper is no longer a threat to you. You've won."

"In a second I w-will have," Graupner growled.

"No. You have _already_ won!" Yuki shouted. "Now, leave!"

"Are... are y-you ordering _me_?" Graupner stared at Yuki. "You? Of all people? Th-The stray alien?"

"Graupner, just go!" Yuki pointed out at the exit.

The Warlock's gaze sharpened as he stared at the purple and pink eyes. If there had been any form of human compassion, it vanished in that single glance. He stared at Yuki with a solid, terrible gaze that was ice cold. He smiled, but no pleasure came from it.

"Yuki, I'm g-giving you... oh, l-lets say three chances. M-Move aside," Graupner said.

"I will not," Yuki said, staying his ground.

"I said... _move_," Graupner warned, a ball of black fire erupting into his hand.

"No."

"Last chance," Graupner stated, and the other hand summoned more black fire.

Yuki stared at the two magical balls of fire. Nothing about his choice made sense to Dipper. Hadn't he betrayed him and his sister? He... he should run! Get help! Not stay behind like this and become a meat shield. Just run!

"I'm... no," Yuki shook his head. Graupner lifted his hands, exposing the black balls of fire to Yuki. Still, they remained there. Testing Yuki's courage seemed to work in Yuki's favor, as he trembled, but remained in place.

"Why?!" Graupner growled, keeping his hands in place, "you're scared! Why d-don't you run!?"

"Because I choose not to," Yuki swallowed loudly. "Because I always will choose to put myself between my friends and danger."

Graupner bared his teeth, and lowered one hand. The other hand, however, let loose it's ball of wrath.

Colliding with Yuki's shoulder, the black fire ate away at the cloth of his shirt. Black smoke and a horrible odor drifted out from the explosion that nearly toppled Yuki to the side. Still on his feet, he whimpered and held a hand to his injury, groaning as he buckled but stood.

"Now, stand aside!" Graupner screamed, holding up his other hand to Dipper.

Yuki jumped back in the way, and held his arms aside. Scorched skin now blistered to look like dried bark remained on his shoulder, but clenched his jaw tightly. "I will not."

Graupner fired again.

The next ball of fire hit him square in the stomach.

Yuki hunched over, but slowly stood back up, crying and heaving in pain. He had yet to move.

"You idiot!" Graupner screamed, but then laughed. "Fine! J-just die with your friend here!"

Both hands summoned more fire, and one by one, he threw blackfire at Yuki. Each impact slammed into the Alien, and Dipper watched as the unassuming friend stumble back and away from Dipper without control. Graupner had entirely forgotten about Dipper now.

All the anger and hate that the Warlock had focused onto Dipper now fell onto Yuki, who held his hands above his face, shielding him from more of the horrible fire. Dipper wanted to scream, cry, beg, shout and challenge Graupner- anything that would peel him away from Yuki.

After one fireball stuck his leg, Yuki twisted and turned, just in time for a ball of fire to strike him in half of his face. The alien screamed and fell to the dirt, holding a hand to his face. As Yuki squirmed, holding his head with his hands, Graupner stepped back, grinning.

"You see?" he said, looking to the ceiling, "superiority through magic. In the end, I'm better than you," he said, and turned to Dipper, raising his hands, "both of you."

As the blackfire shot out towards Dipper, Yuki dived again. His back took both balls of fire, and he collapsed before Dipper. Dipper Pines finally saw what was becoming of the alien teen.

His skin was blackening and cracking horrible. Dried and blistering like old asphalt, the burnt portions of Yuki's face and body dripped with blood, slowly seeping out of the wounds all around him. His one eye in the blast wound of his face had gone white, and half of his hair had been scorched off. Tears fell down Dipper's face as he saw the loss in Yuki's eyes.

Then another two fireballs struck his back. He screamed and closed his eyes, and Dipper finally shouted.

"That's right! Kid," Graupner said as he merged his two hands together and pointed them at Yuki, "before you g-go, watch what's going to happen to you- via p-proxy example!"

The two hands merged no longer unleashed a ball of flame, but a constant stream. Yuki bellowed with agony, spit flying from his mouth as his legs and back were consumed in fire. Graupner laughed, holding more and more fire to the man.

Moments passed as Dipper tried crawling to Yuki. Through the terrible pain, Dipper had to try. He could pull him away maybe, get himself in the shot. He had to stop Yuki from dying!

Then Yuki opened his eyes and looked to Dipper.

Dipper had seen anger in those eyes once before.

Never fury.

In a swift push, Yuki lifted himself off the ground, spun around, and punched Graupner in the side of the face. Unlike Dipper, the impact was so potent that Graupner flew across the room with a 'bang'. The flames halted instantly as he slammed into the wall and fell forward, and instantly reached up to his face. Blood freely poured from his eye.

"You've tried killing," Yuki muttered through gritted teeth as he marched over.

Standing up, Graupner revealed his face. His one eyelid had entirely closed now- blood pouring from it. He still saw Yuki coming to him, and he raised his hands. Black fire shot out, and struck him in the chest. Yuki winced but pushed forward.

"You've enjoyed _harming_!" Yuki roared as he reached out and grasped Graupner by the neck and easily lifted him into the air.

Graupner's need to burn and incinerate as much as possible vanished the moment the titanic force of Yuki's grip closed around his wind-pipe. He lowered his hands and reached for his throat, gasping and clawing for air.

"You've betrayed your word and any honor that would have come with it!" Yuki screamed as he marched over, dragging Graupner by the throat towards the other sheer cliff. Still holding onto Graupner with one hand, he reached down and lifted the rusted chain, and hastily tied it around the Warlock's neck.

Dipper's already pained mind struggled to realize what was about to happen.

Yuki pulled The Warlock, Graupner Kinley closer, face to face, and shouted, "_**you've lost your right to your humanity**_!"

He then hurled the man off the cliff, with a rope chain tied around his neck.

Dipper heard the man scream for a good five seconds. Then the chain went taught.

The screaming in the pit stopped instantly.

The world had gone mad. Dipper's hands screamed for attention, but he could only watch the figure standing at the cliff's edge, staring out into the abyss.

Yuki had just...

"Dipper!"

Dipper heard movement and his name from a clouded distance. Just as existance itself made no sense, Dipper's movement seemed impossible and thick- like he was living in a vicious fluid. Some, breathing rapidly, slid next to him, and began to hold his shoulders.

"No, no, no, no!"

Mabel had come. She was here. Dipper turned to face her, ashes in his face along with trails of tears. He saw himself in her reflection as she studied him, his wounds, his state of being. She was fine, physically. The more she saw of Dipper, the more he wondered if her mind would break like his body had.

Stumbling next to her and dropping to her knees was Arline. She stared at his hands, her mouth agape. They both were saying things to one another. He couldn't tell. Everything was so echo-ey and vague. Was this a dream?

Had Bill played a trick on Dipper.

He checked, and turned his gaze to Yuki, who had turned, and started slumping away from the cliff of the pit.

Rushes of movement and color came into the room. More people were here. How many? Who they were?

Dipper could only spot one by her voice. Screaming. Sobbing. Wailing. As Yuki fell before him, a girl with long, blond hair rushed forward and caught him, cradling his unmoving figure. Pacificas cries and screams filled the room.

They may have stopped the golem, but this time, somehow Dipper knew they had lost.

* * *

**Cbxo lc qeb crov lc dlla mblmib.**

**-And-**

**12-15-22-5 1-14-4 24-1-2-22-18-9 6-15-18-5-22-5-18.**

**-And-**

**Ghdwk zloo qhyhu vwrs kdwuhg.**


	57. Cleansing Rain: Part 1

Gravity Falls had suffered through many accidents and natural disasters of a smaller scale. Earthquakes frequented the town as tremors and mild shakes that occasionally disrupted the peace. Storms of harsher nature weren't common, as mountainous regions proved difficult to create persistent storms. For the town history, among the worst of the accident was the 'great tossup of twenty-twelve', when the town had what could only be described as an earthquake so powerful, vehicles and buildings alike seemed to fall into the sky.

This newest disaster, while not natural, would easily take the top-spot in destruction.

"The sheriffs department and disaster response teams all dispatched are still struggling to recover order to Gravity Falls," local reporter Shandra Jimenez hastily spoke on the television, "as you can see, the destruction from the earlier today still is not been cleaned up."

Behind the reporter, the crews of men and women from the local hospital and police forces worked in tandem to raise entire collapsed floors and roofs of buildings. Huge logs and trees remained imbedded into the quaint buildings of the town. There was only a single crane in town able to lift these logs, and another two being borrowed from the Corduroy mill and then one final one being hauled about from the Northwests. Even with the four gingerly moving around the logs, the damage was impressive and deep. More than enough buildings lay entirely in ruins, not to mention the collapse that still existed by the junk yard.

"Gravity Falls still debates their next options. The money required to rent and borrow logging equipment is a high one, but according to local word," Shandra nudged her head to the left and the camera panned to a large crowd of miserable townfolk stuck in the rain, "people have no where to go."

The camera panned back to her. "With jobs crushed and homes in ruin, people turn to local families for support, but with the money the town has sunk into failed conventions and disastrous celebrations, people are starting to wonder if Gravity Falls is going to remain on the map for much longer... wow," she said, scratching her shapely chin, "that's pretty deep, Larry. Like, I'm honored I got to say that on air, but, really? A little melodramatic?" she stared to the left of the camera, and her eyes, full of suspicion and doubt suddenly darkened. "No. Wait, really? The town could actually- but, but I'm not financially savvy enough to move away! I can't- I still have-" she paused, and blinked, a muffled voice speaking to her. "Wait, what do you mean we're out of batteries? What about the power in town-"

The television in the living room shut down, along with several lights nearby. The rest, including several recently-installed ones, remained lit. The living room in the Mystery Manor required light second most, only to a single bedroom nearby.

In the living room were four quiet figures. One sat on the chair, holding his eyes tightly shut as wraps and bandages slowly wove around his arms. Mabel stood before him, holding her hands on his shoulders.

With the help of Wendy and Arline, the trio of ladies had finally found their best solution to what had happened to Dipper's hands- a balm found in on of the three journals that was the closest thing to the perfect healing ointment and anti-biotic.

"You okay, bro?" Mabel asked as she clenched his shoulders tightly with her fingers. He wince and shook his head, unable to speak. Dipper had barely spoke a word since they left.

"He's strong enough to stand still," Arline grunted as she shifted her own arms, which had their own large patches and wrappings cover them.

Wendy remained silent, staring intently at the coverings on Dipper's arms. She glanced over to Arline, and adjusted a small strap that held a patch together on her back shoulder. The martial artist groaned and hissed.

"Careful," she begged Wendy, "those are still fresh."

"Keep it tight, or it could be infected. We didn't have Dipper's super-balm when I stitched you up," Wendy quietly said as she held her hands back on the wrapping for Dipper.

Mabel stared into her brothers face, watching intently as he clenched his eyes closed. It had been a long, long afternoon.

Right after the explosion and near total cave in back underground of the magically adjusted pit, Mabel and Arline had frantically climbed out, hearing the scuffle up above. When they had finally found the edge, they could hear fire and screaming, but were unable to reach until they heard Graupners final fall. As the silence resounded in the caves, they could hear movement.

That was when Wendy arrived with McGucket, leading her, Soos, Candy, Grenda, and Pacifica into the mines. The five helped Arline and Mabel up, and then heard the rattling of chains in the other room.

Mabel had run in the instant she saw her brother sitting still against a wall with his wide, empty eyes.

Then they heard Pacifica, and saw Yuki.

Dragging the two wounded and one critical back to the Mystery Manor was hard. Yuki had to be carried by Grenda and Pacifica, who refused to let go of him, and Dipper was aided by a combination of Soos and Wendy while Mabel nearly carried a still-bleeding Arline to the surface. Once there, the cars awaited, and then they found a shocked Grunkle Stan waiting. Waddles had refused to leave Mabel's side, still next to her leg, pacing nervously around her while occasionally rubbing along side. She never quite gave him the satisfaction of saying hello back, but her persistently checked on everyone present with a nudge of his small, squashed nose.

Arline lowered her hands and sighed. "Done. His arms are wrapped. Wendy?" Arline asked, giving her a chance to look at her handiwork. Wendy gave it a look and blinked.

"Wow. Solid. You've done this before," Wendy nodded and continued working on Dipper's other hand.

"Play with fire and get..." Arline trailed off. Dipper blinked open his eyes and stared at her. "Sorry," she quietly said, looking down.

"Wendy," Dipper finally said after hours of silence. The redhead jumped a little and let go. "You've been done for a while."

"Oh!" she stood up suddenly, even more red in the cheeks than usual. "I- uh- yeah dude, just wanted to make sure that..." Wendy closed her eyes and spun away quickly, leaving the room without another sound.

Arline sighed. "Well, you scared her off," she said candidly to Dipper.

"She doesn't scare easily either," Mabel acknowledged, giving Dipper a significant look over, "did you become a doppelganger while I was away?" Dipper turned and stared at his sister, a harsh glare. "What? She can see weird stuff, remember?"

"I remember," Dipper bit out.

Mabel looked to her master. When they had gotten to the house, Dipper had briefly explained what happened with his hands, and Arline had been the one who told him about the properties of those black flames- forever scarring. Aside from eating away at almost anything given the time the fire could, the demon-fire, as Arline put it, was past horrible. Mabel had recently asked if Dipper would be okay.

Arline still hadn't gotten back to her with an answer.

As the two women shared a look, Dipper watched. "So I'm never going to use my hands again?"

"We don't know that," Arline said to him quickly.

"Yeah!" Mabel cheered, coming closer to her brother. "I bet there's a dozen and three ways we can fix your right up! Magic and stuff, super medicine, uh... super magic medicine..."

Dipper shook his head and looked back to Arline. "No bull. How are my hands?" His tone had changed. They were not dead, but pleading. Mabel swallowed hard and looked at those hands as Arline sighed.

"You will be able to use them, but, uh... they will never stop being in pain if you continue to," Arline quietly admitted, holding her hands on the arm rests as support while she delivered the news.

Dipper sealed his eyes again and clenched his fists. The moment he started to move them, he let out a shuddering groan.

"Dipper, don't move them!" Mabel scolded him. "You already hurt enough, stupid!"

"I'm not stupid," Dipper muttered while his eyes were closed.

"Coming from the guy who ran off without his sister!" she said, her voice raising in intensity and emotion. Arline looked to her student, studying her carefully. "Why didn't you hold off until we showed up!?"

Dipper didn't seem to answer her question. His eyes slowly opened, peering into a distant spot. "I almost had him. I slipped up. It was my fault."

Mabel bit on her lip and let her head drop. Her own sisterly anger would have to wait, or she would just have to discard it entirely. At that moment, Dipper seemed incapable of hearing them for criticism, as he was drowning in his own. Mabel then reached out with her own hands again and placed them on his arm, past the points of burns. Dipper flinched and turned to her.

"We're here now," Mabel quietly said. Dipper finally focused onto her and nodded.

Footsteps echoed at the hallway. Dipper glanced over with Arline while Mabel remained glued onto her brother. In the splotched light, Grunkle Stan appeared. His wrinkled face seemed scarred in the light, and his eyes were darkly filled with thoughts. He held his fez in his hands while avoiding eye contact with the twins.

"Stan?" Arline asked.

Clutching his hat and clearing his throat, Stanley finally said, "I... I think you two should talk to Yuki now."

Dipper pulled himself up in a rush, ignoring the whimpers his sister had watching him struggle through pain. "What? What is it?"

Stan stared at him and sighed. "I don't think he's going to be awake much longer."

"You mean he's finally going to be able to rest, right?" Mabel asked, stepping next to Dipper. Even in the fragile state, Dipper stood at attention, seemingly able to block out the pain in his hands.

When Stan took a bit too long, clearing his throat twice with little to add, Dipper spoke. "Grunkle Stan? What's happening?" he asked clearly.

Stan shook his head and in a hoarse voice barely above a whisper muttered, "he's not going to be around soon."

The twins stared at their Grand Uncle, on the verge of tears. It was beyond surreal to see such a grizzled veteran of so much hardship at a loss for words. It had happened once before, but the twins attempted to avoid the topic with him still, even three years later. Stan had, after finding Yuki's burnt body admitted to having been too hard on him, and tried desperately to tend for his wounds with Pacifica and Wendy. Upon hearing that it was by protecting Dipper that Yuki had been hurt, Stan had nearly fallen to the ground.

Now, before the twins, he seemed even more pale and broken-hearted than he had before.

"We're going to see him," Dipper quietly said. Mabel nodded, not needing another word to add. Stan also nodded and stepped aside, letting them pass.

Leaving Arline in the living room, the Twins took to the hallway and started to pass the others. Candy and Grenda stood by Soos. The girls had been cut and bruised, but the harm done to them most was lying burnt in a room. They leaned against the wall, staring at the twins with swollen, red eyes.

Soos was a mess, plain and simple. His nose dripped and his cheeks and eyes had gone red. He held his crumpled hat in his hand, rubbing it across his face as a make-shift handkerchief. As he saw the twins he opened his mouth as to speak, but recoiled whatever would have been said. His tongue, like Stans, had been tied awfully tight. Unlike Stan, however, he wore his heart on his sleeve.

Standing out on the threshold of the doorway, Wendy leaned against the open molding. She peered in deeply with unwavering eyes. Staring into the dark room, the twins could have sworn there was more than just sadness. Wendy spotted the twins coming, looked specifically towards Dipper, and then moved aside and away, letting them approach.

Stepping into the door of Yuki's room seemed heavier than all the earth's gravity combined. There, with Pacifica next to him, Yuki remained: scarred and dying.

"Yuki," Mable rushed in, going to place herself across from Pacifica. Dipper stepped in slowly, keeping his eyes on the floor. He had seen what had happened to Yuki's face. He didn't want to look again. As they stepped in, Waddles crept by the door, keeping a sorrowful watch on Mabel and Dipper each.

"Hi guys," Yuki's voice trembled and ached. Mabel wanted to reach out and hold onto one of his hands, but seemed incapable. Almost all of him had been bandaged.

"You sound so much better," Mabel forced herself to say, and looked at him fully.

His one soft chocolate skin had almost entirely been burnt. Where it was still exposed, his skin now resembled burnt tree bark. His left eye was now entirely covered by a wad of gauze, and half of his scalp was covered as well. Mabel could still remember what he looked like underneath the covering. Just the thought of it created rolling tears down her face.

"You're funny," Yuki grinned at her and coughed loudly. Pacifica, holding onto his right, and primarily unharmed hand, gave a sniff, her lips trembling. "Sorry," Yuki said, turning to Pacifica, "and here I said... I'd stop making you cry..."

Pacifica wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I'm not crying."

"You're a better liar than Mabel," Yuki told her, and paused, breathing heavily, "but... not _that_ good." He gave a small chuckled and coughed some more.

"Yuki, you need to rest," Mabel said.

"He can't," Pacifica said, her red eyes finally peeled away from Mabel, "there's too much pain. We can't give him any of our pain-killers since he's got a different biology than us."

"The Panacea worked," Dipper pointed out.

"You got any more of those magical pills!?" Pacifica snapped at him, shooting him a glare of such intensity it was a shock the trails of tears didn't evaporated off her face. Dipper stared back, moved and stunned. "I didn't think so," she snapped back, and adjusted her sitting.

"Don't be mad at him," Yuki asked her.

"I will be," she declared.

"It wasn't his-"

"It _was_!" Pacifica turned and pointed to Dipper, who's gaze faltered and turned towards the ground. "If he hadn't done all that stupid bull, you wouldn't have had to jump in his way for him!" she shouted, and began to sob. "It's all... it's all his-"

"Blame won't help," Yuki reached over to her slowly with his closest hand to her, grabbing her hand. "It won't make... the pain better." Pacifica stopped just in time to hold his hand, blinking rapidly as her make-up ran down her face. "In the end... I made my choices."

To his words, Pacifica sniffed and nodded. Yuki smiled to her, touching her tear-stained cheeks with his thumb. Then he turned to Dipper. Violet eye met brown eyes as the two stared at one another. Dipper wasn't sure for a second what he was going to do. The male twin knew one thing: he deserved punishment. He had screwed up, and if anyone deserved to deliver the execution, it was Yuki.

Yuki then smiled and said, "I'm glad you're ambulatory."

Dipper scoffed, feeling a loss of control in his darkened heart. "You should hate me," he said. Yuki shook his head. "You should!" Dipper said again, stepping to the end of the bed, "look at what happened to you because of me!"

"Nah. Water... under the bridge," Yuki grinned. Mabel gasped and laughed.

"You just used a metaphor!" she cheered with a watery laugh.

"Yeah. Pretty 'cool', huh?" Yuki asked her and Pacifica. Mabel nodded and laughed, while Pacifica smiled. "She had been teaching me," Yuki admitted, nudging his head to her. A pause settled in while Yuki strained and swallowed whatever pain was in his throat. After his strained groans, he looked to the twins.

"You're going to be okay," Dipper said suddenly. "You have to be." Yuki stared at them. His one eye uncovered, he finally looked up. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back and shook his head. "Yes you will," Dipper forcefully said.

"I will," Yuki nodded.

"Huh?" the two girls said.

"I will be fine. My... species..." Yuki coughed and cringed as some of his blood fell from his lips. Pacifica instantly leaned forward and wiped it away with her sleeve. "My species heals slowly. When we sustain damage like this... without perishing, our body enters a long state of healing."

"You- you didn't say that to Wendy!" Pacifica said, shouting at her boyfriend.

"That is because the period... of healing is... longer than... a human life expectancy," Yuki groaned as a tear fell down his face.

Mabel closed her eyes and shook her head. Dipper stared as his mouth dropped open. The average human life expectancy was over seventy five years. Yuki would be gone for _longer_ than that.

"That's why you wanted to see them," Pacifica sniffed, "And me. You're not dying."

"Not yet," Yuki shook his head.

"No," Dipper gulped and felt his fingers tremble, the desire to clench his hands becoming overwhelming as he realized what would happen, "but when he is back and awake, we'll probably be..." Dipper couldn't find it in himself to finish the statement. He already saw the face of death once today, and he didn't need reminder.

"Also," Yuki looked at Dipper specifically, trained on the boy, "I want to explain myself."

"You... you don't have to," Dipper shook his head and shrugged, "I don't care."

"Yes you do," Yuki grinned, "I know you better than... than you think."

"It's why you saved me," Dipper smiled, the corners of his mouth shaking.

"And why... I worked with Graupner," Yuki admitted.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Yuki-"

Mabel's words were cut out by a loud 'shh' from Pacifica. The blond stared a the twins with fury, and then turned towards Yuki, softly rubbing his hand. Yuki nodded and continued.

"I met Graupner when I attended a false advertisement," Yuki admitted, frowning and shaking his head. "I was naive. And somewhat stupid, especially for not leaving."

"You're new here," Dipper shrugged.

"But he promised a deal with me that would help my situation," Yuki blinked and looked to the ceiling. "I told him I couldn't care less about his deals, as he promised me a way home."

"He... he offered you a way home?" Mabel asked, leaning onto the bed, "and you said no!?"

"Why?!" Dipper demanded, "then why did you help him?"

"He then turned to you two," Yuki said and closed his eye tightly, "and warned me what he would do to them if he could. I nearly attacked him, but he said he was willing to offer protection for protection."

"Wait... protection-

"For protection?" Mabel and Dipper said.

"Stop second guessing everything he says!" Pacifica snapped at them, and then gave a loud sniff.

"He said that if I helped him with a small side-project, he would help me... specifically, promised not to hurt either of you two anymore. He would... abstain from targeting either of you unless... his life was in danger," Yuki said and shook his head as he looked to Dipper, "and I should have told you that," he said sadly as his voice begged Dipper, "I should have told you... that the moment it happened."

Dipper nodded. He was furious still. Yuki had become the twins closest friends. Mabel too, closer to him, wanted more than anything else to scold and reprimand him for being so... so damned naive. What else could they do to him at this point? Yuki however smiled after looking to the two of them.

"Still thinking the... same things," he laughed, and ended coughing again. "I was dumb."

"You've never been dumb," Pacifica said softly.

Dipper snorted. "Maybe a little dumb," he laughed, and Yuki snorted with him. Pacifica then lunged at him and drew her hand across his face with the fastest and loudest slap Dipper had ever seen, let alone experienced. He stepped back as Yuki gasped, watching from his perch as Pacifica breathed heavily, her hair in a mess.

"How _dare_ you!" she breathed, fire bursting from her nostrils.

"Pacifica," Yuki struggled, "he was jesting with me-"

"This isn't a time to be funny!" she shouted. As she saw the three watching her, including the stricken Dipper, she rounded on him, and he stepped back until he was against the wall with her bearing down on him. "Yuki is the sweetest, nicest, kindest, most sincere person we've ever met!" she said, breathing heavily into Dipper's face. "He's sacrificed for you not once, not twice, but three times!"

"Three?" Mabel asked, and stared at Yuki. "Oh no, Yuki, why?" To which, Yuki blushed and looked away.

"One: he left his people to ensure that Gravity Falls returned to Earth," Pacifica lifted a single finger, "two: he dived in front of you so you wouldn't be killed by fire," she lifted the second finger, "and three," her face was inches from Dipper now, "he killed for you."

As if the twins had forgotten the events from earlier, both Dipper and Mabel blinked and stared at Yuki. His face was scrunched up as he looked away. Shame crept into his cheeks in the form of a dark crimson flush. Finally Pacifica spun from Dipper and walked to her harmed boyfriend.

"This world," Yuki finally broke the silence, "is... harsher... than I imagined. I found people I would call my new family," he said with a gentile smile. "I... I couldn't let myself be taken from you as much as I couldn't let you be harmed," Yuki said with finality, and sighed, "but... I think we won't be seeing each other much more."

"Yuki," Mabel leaned closer to him as her brother approached her side, " you never know. We could be teleported into the future."

"Or we find a cure for your injuries earlier?" Pacifica suggested.

"Maybe. But optimism is hard for me right now," Yuuki said and closed his eyes. He remained still. Pacifica gave his shoulder a gentle touch, and he fluttered his eyes open. "I'm... falling asleep..." he said, his eyes fluttering.

"No," Pacifica shook her head faster and faster, and grabbed onto his hand, "stay with us! With me!" she begged Yuki, who looked at her tryingly with a smile. Pacifica turned to the twins. "Dipper," she said loudly, "you have spells in your book, right? Stuff that can cure these things!?" she demanded.

Dipper pursed his lip and shook his head. "They're cursed wounds," Dipper repeated from Arline, "just like mine. They won't go away easily."

"No!" Pacifica shrieked, and held onto Yuki's shoulders, hugging him as she cried. "No!"

"Pacifica," Yuki quietly muttered, his words so soft they could be mistaken for an elderly whisper, "you must... keep learning... what you wish... to know. Zander," Yuki said with a grin, "he saw... you as I did. Different... from your roots. Better."

To that, Pacifica blushed and nodded, giving him enough room to turn to the twins.

"Let your friends know that... that everything... I treasure it," he said with a smile. His eyes fixed on Dipper. "I'm sorry we won't be able to finish our second campaign of Strongholds and Serpents like we wanted to."

Dipper contained his first watery sob as he nodded and clenched his jaw. "Maybe when you wake up, if I'm still alive, we can do another round of chess?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," Yuki nodded, "that would be great. No more handicap for either of us," he chuckled as Dipper laughed, tears running down the male twins eyes. Yuki smiled and looked to Mabel. "I... I admit, I sometimes think myself superior to everyone here. I'm much older. I have had more experience than anyone here with many things. And still, I am a novice. I think I have learned more about what it means to be human from you than any other person, Mabel," Yuki said, and he smiled.

The most innocent, happy, genuine smile that a seemingly dying man could make was the last straw that undid Mabel's interior mental barricade. Her face fell apart and she wept. Falling onto his chest as she cried, bawling like a child, she gripped him tightly.

She began to blubber away with words and sentences never to be finished. "You're so nice- why can't we- I'm going to miss- ohh, Yuuukiiii-"

"I'm lucky," Yuki said as he smiled and leaned back into his pillow, "so lucky for this. For you all. Imagine what... what would have happened if you two had never stayed in Gravity Falls... Had you just left," he muttered softly, "Imagine... what..."

Yuki's eye fell back and he closed his lid shut.

Pacifica slowly, with a horribly shaking arm and hand, reached out and gently prodded Yuki's arm. This time, he made no movement. He was still.

Mabel stood up from Yuki and raced to her brother, burying herself into his chest as she continued to cry. Dipper, stunned for words and thoughts alike, stared at Pacifica as she pushed herself forward and kissed Yuki's closed eye and settle back next to him. With a shaken body and trembling lips, Pacifica fought to speak coherently.

"You need- just... if you... please," she finally closed her eyes and lowered her head to the side of the bed, "leave."

What else could Dipper or Mabel tell her. Without another word, the two left the room, leaving the mourning teenager alone to her now catatonic boyfriend. The blond fell forward, and cupped her hands around the motionless figure, crying into the blankets. Then the doors closed shut, and the twins were in the hallway. Waddles gave the smallest oink and nudged Mabel as they stepped outside.

No words of finality were needed to be shared between the twins and their friends and family around them. The looks among their faces was cue enough to what had happened. The best friends of Mabel slowly left the hallway, moving towards the living room. Soos stared at them, as did Wendy. The Handyman opened and closed his mouth, barely able to create full sounds, let alone coherent words and sentences. Giving Soos finality, Dipper shook his head, and passed by his friend.

Little more could be said. The twins watched as all those who had waited for their exit slowly left them be, standing outside a room where once a proud, sturdy teenager now wept into bedsheets. Mabel turned to her brother, who's eyes shone with a terrible emptiness. For once, in a very, very long time, Mabel couldn't tell what he was thinking- if he was at all. She raised her hand, wanting to lift it to his shoulder. Her hands swept through air as Dipper suddenly turned and walked down the hall, silently. She was left to herself as she watched him go, and time himself to the porch.

Mabel fell against the wall, and felt the infectious emptiness grow within her too. It consumed her stomach and heart alike, eating away at her greatest asset: her heart. She cupped her hands to her face and let palm feel face. Her hands here toughened now, yet her face was gentle and smooth to the touch. Was she, like her hands, merely hardened on the outside?

Dipper had let himself fall onto the seat on the porch. He stared at the dark rain before him, just out of reach. Night had fallen and the storm continued. In a distant memory, he remembered when he and his sister were out in the woods, looking for a Doppelganger in the kind of weather he currently watched. Dipper gasped and put his face into his hands. It was a suddenly realization that had him slump so: that even then, in the days when they just struggled for their life against supernatural monsters...

Those were simple times.

Now things were... multifaceted. Complicated. Hard. It hadn't been enough for Dipper to survive. He may be living and breathing, but he had lost something terrible.

Then the pain of weight burned into his hands, and Dipper hissed and shot up. Staring at the wraps around his hands, Dipper glowered at what was once his functional hands. Now? Could he ever use them again without pain?

The door next to him swung open, and a golden haired woman stumbled out, and caught herself on the closest support to the overhang. Once upright, Arline stared into the rain. Her hair was a mess, and like Dipper, she sported various bandages. The ones on her shoulder were still present, and her arm was in a sling. Dipper stared at her until she sighed and noticed him with a small jump.

"Dipper," she said. Dipper made no effort to reply, instead staring out into the dark woods. Arline followed his gaze and sighed. The creaks against the old wood under her steps held a weight that Dipper could not hear- no matter his great senses. His gaze was split once as she passed by him, and only then did he realize that she had come to sit next to him.

Leaning back with a pained sigh, Arline said nothing. She, like Dipper, stared out into the woods with heavy, tired eyes that spoke volumes of their pain. He watched her for a quick moment, studying her expression. She looked worn and tired, something he was not used to seeing in her. Her eyes spoke volumes about her state. Pain flooded the blue orbs in her head, only serving to remind Dipper of his own. He looked away finally and stared into the rain.

That single look brought questions to mind. Dipper realized, with indignation, that he still didn't know much about Arline. He was sure he knew what kind of person she was; but what she had done, who she wanted to be, what her goals where? He knew nothing about. Crinkling his nose, Dipper mentally remarked on her betrayal. She could have, no, should have told them about her affiliation with the Guardsman. That could have come into handy.

"What is the Guardsman?" Dipper managed, his hollow voice contained by restrained anger.

Arline looked to him, and then back to the woods, giving her answer a thought. "Honestly, I'm not sure," she admitted, "I know what he can be like, but what he is, I don't know."

"Tell me what you know," Dipper told her.

"Dipper, are you sure you want-"

"Yes."

Dipper's tone demanded answers. Maybe he didn't have the authority to demand anything from Arline, and he certainly wasn't in a position of truly forcing her to say anything. Still, his tone drove into her a burning desire to talk. She watched him, and spoke.

"He's old. Very, very old. We're talking about the kind of old that makes America as a nation look young at heart. He's wise. Powerful. Kind of, uh, headstrong," she shrugged, "and he's good."

"Specifically," Dipper stated.

"Nothing," Arline sighed.

"I doubt that," Dipper grumbled.

"Really," Arline sighed, "I... it's hard to explain."

"Try."

"Well," Arline glanced to Dipper, perhaps reminding herself of patience, "he saved my life, you know. My dad- he was a journalist. He got 'lucky' one time he said; found out that Steindorf and Co had no records of half their products. He suspected some sort of unofficial outsourcing. He never expected 'magic' to be the answer."

"He was threatened to not publish anything about it. But he decided," Arline paused staring at the ground, "that he would go ahead. That very night, a hole mess of mercenaries came to our house. My Mom, my dad, my brother..." she sighed and looked into the rain, "died."

Dipper watched her now. Pain and anger were only obstacles in his way of knowing more, and so he left those from his mind as he listened. Arline continued after a stabilizing breath.

"They eventually found me hiding. I couldn't do anything about it at first. I knew I was going to die, so then I lashed out. Then he showed up," Arline admitted, "and single handedly took care of every single of the eight men armed to the teeth, making it look like nothing."

"From that day on," Arline looked to Dipper, "he trained me. He explained to me the dangers of Omir Steindorf, and that he is much more deadly than a simple CEO of a company. He brought the Paths to me... and yet," she shook her head, looking troubled, "there were even more questions. Who was he? I only addressed him as 'Master' and 'Sir'. Why did he pick me? I was no better than the rest of my family. And-"

"Why didn't he go save your family if he could have killed those men," Dipper added, turning from Arline. She paused, and turned to Dipper. A wash of understanding filled her gaze.

"He is a good person," Arline reassured him, bolstering her voice, "but he doesn't save someone on their own."

"Great, well," Dipper snorted and felt a horrible weight in his stomach, "it sounds like he's more than capable of doing things, and just doesn't because of 'reasons'," he snapped, giving his last word air quotations with his fingers. "Great guy," he added with a huff.

"Dipper, it's more complicated than that," Arline said quietly.

"Really? Was he just hanging around above the pit, watching you fight Steindorf?" he asked Arline, who bit her lip. "Did he just let you get trashed around like a ragdoll? Did he just _let_ me lose my hands because he likes watching!?"

Arline opened her mouth to speak, and the door swiped open again. Wendy stepped out, and at the sight of Arline paused.

"Uh..."

"Wendy?" Arline asked as she watched the younger teen.

"Just, you know," Wendy said, crossing her arms as she stared at the two, "getting... air... and stuff."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, turning from the two. Arline stared between Wendy and Dipper for a solid moment, and slowly stood.

"I'll, uh, be inside."

Wendy watched Arline leave, keeping tabs on the woman the entire time. As soon as the door closed, she peered at Dipper, who glanced over his shoulder. The two met in their gaze, yet found themselves unable to speak.

Inside, Arline walked past Mabel, who was leaning on a wall. With a heavy sigh, Arline leaned next to Mabel and let out a shuddering moan as she winced. "Damn shoulder," the martial artist mumbled.

"It will be better, right?" Mabel asked, looking to Arline.

"Yeah. Eventually," Arline nodded, gingerly massaging the inflicted region. Arline simmered in her pain for a moment, winding down an internal dialogue behind her eyes. Mabel watched her and eventually understood. The mind of Mabel was a heated mess of boiling sadness and bitterness. What would she respond to? Which parts of her heart spoke true, and which would mislead her?

"Mabel," Arline spoke up quietly. Mabel turned to her master, staring at the woman. Arline's posture was defeated and broken; her head hung and her hand held snugly over her wounded arm and shoulder. "I... I want you know that I understand if you don't trust me anymore."

Mabel's mouth fell open. Not from shock, nor from bewilderment. What could she say to something like that? As much as she was the great and truthful person she was with a heart of gold, Mabel had to confess, at minimum to herself, that she had developed mistrust for her great master. There had already been one secret that she withheld from the twins. Then, as Mabel recalled vividly, all the facts that she had forgotten to mention: being trained by a scary shadow-man, being enemies with Omir Steindorf, having a tortured past...

"You're more mysterious than I thought," Mabel shrugged, "that's all."

"You're being nice," Arline looked to Mabel with sad, tired eyes, "I know you're hurt."

"Well, duh," Mabel scoffed. "Of course I am."

"Yeah. Well," Arline trailed off, and swallowed harshly, "I just wanted to explain, no, uh,-"

Arline cut off. The two of them could hear voices in the living room. Grunkle Stan was speaking to Candy and Grenda, and then it seemed Soos. Mabel honed in on their topic- sending them home. Mabel felt herself sink slightly against the wall as she listened. Grunkle Stan was gone. The husk of a man that remained was cold and devoid. A man who she had seen once, three years ago.

"Mabel?"

Mabel whipped her head to Arline, and blinked away forming tears. "Yeah?" she asked to her master.

"I wanted to tell you about what I was brought here to do. To really do," Arline explained. Mabel sealed her lips tight, and nodded. "Just after June started, my master, the Guardsman, contacted me and told me to stop the apprentice to the man we both called the Warlock. Graupner Kinley was my target."

"So you coming to vacation was just a ruse," Mabel nodded. With a small hic, Mabel looked away. "Dipper was right. You were hiding more."

"Yeah. I knew that there was always a greater power," Arline mumbled, her hand dropping aside. "I didn't know that Omir and the original Warlock were the same though."

"Which means... you knew about him trying to stay in town, and yet you didn't let us know," Mabel added. Arline nodded. "And all those time we had close encounters, you weren't there- in town-"

"I was looking for him, for myself," Arline admitted. Mabel shouted and let out a primal, exasperated sigh.

"Why do people hide so many secrets!?" Mabel cringed, clawing at her face suddenly.

"Mabel," Arline turned to her.

Mabel stepped away and stared at the door they had long since closed, where Pacifica still remained. "As far as I'm concerned, it's because people weren't telling the truth that this got so bad in the first place! Because stupid, stupid secrets!"

"It's more complicated than that," Arline tried soothing her.

"Yeah? Tell that to Grunkle Stan," Mabel hissed. Arline sighed and looked away. "Wait..." Mabel blinked and looked at her master closer, taking a step further, "You... you _did_ tell him. You told him, but not us? Not me or Dipper?"

A long paused separated Mabel and Arline. Had there been a hope of trust and reconciliation, it was slowly dissipating. "He showed me the machine," she said with a finality, "and he said that it was because of that machine that he was more protective than ever of you two. I... wanted to make it fair. I told him the things I knew, and he took them into account."

Mabel was seething now, growing hot and uncomfortable. She didn't want to be next to Arline now. Not in the same room, heck, the same hallway. As her trusted master... as her _once_-trusted master. Mabel mumbled and moved past Arline. "I'm going to my room," she hastily said.

"Mabel, please," Arline spun and reached out for her pupil. Mabel snatched her hand away and glared back. "Mabel," Arline's voice cracked as she saw the anger in the loving human being before her.

"Did he ever tell you the story!? Huh!?" Mabel barked at her master. When Arline merely stared, Mabel nodded. "Figured. More secrets. Well, let me fill you in, 'master'," Mabel stated with enough venom for Arline to cringe and seal her eyes just from the impact.

"You don't have-" Arline started, but was cut away.

"Grunkle Stan had a brother," Mabel started, "and he had been taken away from everyone. Literally vanished from this universe. Then he did so much to get him back- breaking laws and physics and _math_ to make sure he could come back!" Mabel shouted and stomped her foot. "And what happened? Grunkle Ford didn't tell us the whole truth! He left out parts of his story, and they came back to get us all in the end! The world was nearly..." Mabel made a spastic explosive movement with her arms, "blow up and stuff!" Mabel spouted.

"And you know what the worst part about it all is?" Mabel asked, looking into Arline's face with challenge. "If he had just told us in the beginning, he may have still been here with us! Instead, he... he ended up... stabbing us in the..."

Mable had enough. It was one thing to remember one loss, it was enough to pile those buried feelings of a person she never got to fully know with the loss of another she would never come to know. She spun on her foot, and marched away, her arms and fists so tightly rigid that she could have snapped stone with them. Arline's voice echoed behind her as she ascended the stairs, but she didn't cease.

She didn't care for her any more.

In the time between Wendy's appearance outside and Mabel's departure upstairs, nothing had been said. Wendy stood with her hands in her pockets, watching the rain as Dipper did. Words seemed impossible, banned from their many uses as they were incapable of truly describing the depth of their pains.

Several times Dipper had a chance to turn to her and look at her. Wendy's back was bathed in the light emitting from the screen door behind her. Even as her front washed in shadow and darkness, Dipper could see the reflections of those beautiful eyes looking into the falling rain. Once, what could have been yesterday and yet seemed so long ago, Dipper would have been staring with a longing.

Now... there was just the memory of how broken they both were.

"You're staring again," Wendy smirked, glancing to Dipper before he could look away.

"Sorry," he murmured and shifted his seat to turn away.

Wendy shrugged. "You know, I don't mind," she told him and turned. "I mean, I've never really minded your attention. Ever. So, you know, you can chill dude."

"Yeah," Dipper smiled to himself, and risked a look back to her. His mind had prayed that looking upon her wonderful face would remind him of happiness- the object of his life. Yet his hopes were dashed on the starkness of reality. His small smile faded and he looked down to the planks of wood below him. "Just... bad timing," Dipper quietly said.

"Well, welcome to the world, right? she said and walked over, sitting next to him. Dipper glanced over to her. It still shocked him that he was as tall as her. The two caught another glance, and Wendy looked away. Dipper dared himself to sit up straight. He... did he grown since coming to town again? He seemed... taller than her? Dipper saw she too was hunched over, and he nodded.

"So," Wendy spoke up, and Dipper jumped slightly, "what are we going to do?"

Dipper leaned forward, his elbows touching his knees as he put his hands onto his chin. His only answer was the one he despised telling others. "I... don't know."

"I'm kind of leaning towards revenge, myself," Wendy said quietly, nodding to herself. "We get back at these bastards."

Dipper snorted. "Yeah. Assuming they're alive." Wendy glanced to him, cocking an eyebrow. "You didn't see that cave-in," Dipper said defiantly, "tons of rock and dirt buried the Guardsman and the Sorcerer."

Wendy growled and clutched a fist into her other palm. "Well... great, but _something_ has to be done," she grumbled. Dipper shrugged, catching Wendy's attention. "What do you mean? You... you don't want to do anything?" she asked.

Dipper scoffed and turned away. "Of course I do," he said to her, "but, I mean, what exactly am I going to do anymore?" he asked, holding up his hands.

Wendy studied his hands, and then looked to his eyes. It was only his past experiences with her and her strange vision-like abilities that reminded him that she could probably read more into him than he wanted. Dipper lowered his hands, letting them fall aside. Each touch against legs shot searing pain into his hands, and he winced with each moment.

"I can't... what can I do now? I'll never be able to keep up with my sister," Dipper mentioned and closed his eyes, seeing the future of him and Mabel side-by-side a now distant and ruined dream, "anytime I'm around, I'd slow people down."

"You're not broken," Wendy said.

"I'm worse. I'm burned," Dipper said, feeling the weight of his words sinking in, "I'm still here, and I can't be fixed. Nothing can be done-"

"At least, you know, you can... change," Wendy muttered.

Dipper turned and stared at her. "What?" he asked.

"Well, I mean, scars like that, you know, sure it's a cursed scar, but Dipper, you're going to keep... growing," Wendy shrugged at the last word, "you'll be able to change and adapt to this."

Dipper snorted and turned away. "Oh. I get it. So I have a chance to grow past my wounds, and that makes it better... how?" he asked, not looking to her.

"Well, I didn't say it was better," Wendy admitted with a tightening in her jaw as she looked at him. "I just said it, it's a silver lining."

"Not really," Dipper said with a shake of his head. Wendy sighed and tapped her shoe on the wood below her. "What?" Dipper whipped to her.

"Nothing," Wendy shrugged. Dipper tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. A dozen lies could have been sold to him, and that was not one of them. Wendy relented after a tense moment. "I mean, I just think that you're... look, it's not _good_, okay?" she asked him, leaning closer to him, "none of this is good, or anything like that. But at least you have a chance to recover."

"Oh, right," Dipper nodded and leaned back. Something in his mind felt... offended. A sticky pitch-like heat had begun to rise into his neck and brain, infecting him as it did. "So, my best friend is gone for the next hundred years or so and is otherwise dead for the rest of my life, I've lost the use of my hands probably forever, and this is something I need to be thankful for?"

Wendy blinked, and shook her head. "No, no, Dipper-"

"Because from where I'm sitting, that's a load of bull!" Dipper snapped and raised his voice to an octave yet unused towards Wendy. She gasped and leaned back as Dipper panted, glaring at her.

"Dude, at least you have your family still," Wendy quietly added crossing her arms.

"Yeah? At least you can do everything and anything you want without consequence!" he retorted, standing up and pointing to her arms, "I can't even do that! Cross my freakin' arms!"

"Well you can sleep, eat, drink, right?" she asked him desperately, a new voice rising in Wendy that Dipper had also not heard before. It was... forced. Her tone was almost her normal voice, yet it shook with restraint. Dipper realized she was holding back. Yet his mind couldn't care at the moment what she wanted to withhold. He was offended at her need to remind him of the 'fairness of life'.

"So, this has become 'my curse is worse than your curse'?" Dipper asked her, feet from her now, "well cool! I'm sorry I can't suffer like you do and understand what- "he raised his fingers for airquotes, "-'real pain' is like, okay? I got my hands basically removed! That's pretty bad, got it!? So please, keep your self pity to yourself!"

Dipper breathed heavily, his breaths coming to slow down. Each moment between intake and breath was a pause as the din of pouring rain hailed around them. Dipper stared at her, daring her to make another word. Daring her to make a sound.

She did not. Wendy didn't even need to breath. Her mouth was sealed as she stared at him. Those tired eyes bored deep into his fury, and found the root of his emotions. Too late, Dipper's rational mind and sense found a base to what he had said. He blinked and reached out. Fumbling over sounds and words, Dipper begged his brain to apologize, but his lips just wouldn't move but for a few inches as his hand just shook at his side.

Wendy stepped back from him and turned back towards the door, opening it and walking inside.

Dipper had gone much, much too far.

Why had he lashed out on her, of all people? She could have been one of the few people who understood him. Understood his pain- to lose something important to him like his own two hands, and never really have a chance to get them back? She hadn't been mocking him or trying to remind him of the dim future. She wanted to bolster him.

All he had seen was the negativity of himself reflected onto her. Dipper scowled. The world spun and rocked back and forth. He was lightheaded now. The shouting and realization brought to stark focus what he had done. He had just shouted at Wendy, the Wendy he had crushed on for two full summers.

The burning, sticking, boiling fury that could be called 'despair' finally reached the tipping point.

Dipper spun and jumped into the rain, and charged forward.

There was no restraint, no second thought, no planning. He was charging into the woods without a sound. The first layer of the trees met him with whip-like cuts and incisions across his arms and face, but it only served as fuel. Rage drove him to flee, to run, to chase, to do something; _anything_.

Where was he going?

It didn't matter. He would just keep going until he ran out of places to run, or became too tired to run anymore.

Why was he running?

Dipper felt no need to ask himself that question. Had there been a chance for sane thought inside his torn and conflicted brain, he may have considered the huge danger he was putting himself into. The amount of horrible monsters and anomalies that took to the forest at night could easily overwhelm him.

However, he was not thinking.

He could only pant and growl as he ran. Blood rushed to his burnt fingers and hands, and he could feel new life in them, a life that he wished had not been there. The sting of burned flesh coursed into his brain, only propelling him forward. The further and harder he ran, the more pain delivered to him in small bursts. His heartbeat itself was a reminder of the sting of mortal wounds.

Minutes seemed to stretch into half hours.

Had he been running for full hours?

At one point a dire root caught his foot and Dipper flew forward, slamming his entire stomach into soaking mud. Sliding and cutting into his chest and shoulders with loose rock and stone, Dipper came to a stop. Fury still pumped in his veins, and so he crawled up, and dragged himself hastily towards the root. Standing as he did, he began to stomp and kick at the root as thunder crashed overhead.

"Is this fair!?" he shouted at the root as he stomped. "Is this right!? Huh!? he screamed, his words losing their sense as mood and emotion bled through his voice, "IS THIS WHAT WE GET FOR TRYING TO HELP OTHERS!?"

After he finally snapped the root out, the last kick flew forward, and Dipper slammed into the mud on his back. Laying on the soaking, cold, earth with his hands burning nearly as bad as when the wrapping first started, Dipper looked up to the pitch black sky. Lightning crashed overhead, and finally he let it all out.

In one horrible, primal, bellowing scream, Dipper let all the air in his lungs out.

Then the lungs contracted and he began to cough. Rain had fallen into his mouth, and he spat it out in desperation, climbing up as best her could without getting his hands filthy. Turning to one side, he slipped and fell down a small slope. It lead through several thick bushes, and Dipper fell out into a glade.

He landed on several hard objects with sunk into the ground as he lay atop them. Dipper then blinked i the rain and turned his gaze to the ground. There were gems strew about, just laying in grass. He had been her once before. Quickly he stood up, as best he could, and looked around. Even in the darkness of the night and rainstorm, Dipper could make out the strange pulse-like counter-clockwise ring of light that flowed through all the gems and crystals of the glade.

There, in the center, was the four mundane boulders. Inside, as Dipper knew, would be that black stone. The Heart of the Forest.

Stepping forward, Dipper knew someone would be near. He just needed to provoke their appearance.

BOOM.

Landing before him from, as far as Dipper could tell, no where, a huge golem made entirely of stone and boulder landed, splashing rock, mud, and grass above Dipper's head.

"You!" the boulder golem shouted. "The brother to the thief!"

"Hi to you too," Dipper grumbled, and looked past the golem. The three others, one being comprised of mud, one of vines, and one of tree logs, all stared at Dipper as they approached.

"I suppose you aren't here to keep your offer on 'massages', are you?" the tree-golem asked hopefully.

Dipper growled, and turned to the stone Golem. "I'm looking for the Guardsman." Four golems each did a double take and scanned him before looking to one another. Dipper snorted and nodded. "I'm guessing he's your boss too."

"How do you-"

"Let's cut to the chase," Dipper said, stepping closer to the stone golem, "I'm in a hurry. I know he's protecting the stone, and I want to know if he's alive. So, either show me him, or I'm taking the stone."

"You... you villainous child!" the stone golem scolded Dipper, pointing to him with one large rock-made hand, "you have not only stolen the rock once, but now you come back to insult our honor by telling us in person!?" Dipper grinned, enjoying the reaction he got from the stone golem, who gasped and roared. "Do not mock me, you insignificant child!"

"Then get out of the way, or this time I'll make sure that stone-"

A hand reached out and patted Dipper's shoulder. Stepping next to him, wearing the same black cloak, a human figure strode forward. "Please," the figure said in the cold, deep voice, "watchers, I will be fine. Resume your posts." At the words of the Guardsman, the four Golems nodded and turned away, marching from Dipper and the Guardsman.

After watching the four leave, the Guardsman finally turned to face Dipper. The teen hadn't let his eyes leave the black cloaked figure since he arrived. Dipper saw a silent sigh putt from under the hood, and after a pause, the Guards faced Dipper fully, sizing the boy up.

"So I hear you stole the stone from this spot originally. Well, I can forgive you since you were nice and put it back," he told Dipper, "but let's get one thing clear," the guards took a smooth, gliding step forward, now towering over Dipper, "I am the Guardsman. You try to take that from me, and _I_ will be the one you deal with, not them."

* * *

Well, we've hit the dark part of Season two. Based on how a lot of people reacted to the last update (WOW) I'm shocked everyone seemed to like it.

At least there was a reaction above mere tolerance. Which is really nice.

Alas, we still have more of that. Also some cool stuff- you guys will finally be seeing the differences in canon story and my story fleshed out next update. Yup! By next update you will know what officially changes once Stanford returns to Gravity Falls.

Anyway guys, I'm really happy that you're all enjoying it. You guys keep coming up with cool predictions (hehehe, there's a doozy of a reveal coming soon, and no one has come close to predicting it :D), and I especially wanted to thank my readers and reviewers who remained without profiles. I always thank those who review me with standard profiles, and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your thoughts and input. If you want to hear back from me personally, please get a profile, and we'll chat. :)

So, before I sign off...

R.I.P. Uki-Dohth.

-EZB


	58. Cleansing Rain: Part 2

Cold rain pattered down atop Dipper's shoulders and arms. His bandages around his hands were becoming soaked, but it was something he no longer cared about. His anger had brought him here, to the face of this faceless entity of mystery. Before this creature, Dipper could get real answers. With or without anyone backing him up.

"I'm not here for your stupid stone," Dipper growled.

"Good call," the Guardsman nodded.

"I'm here for you," Dipper glared at the two slits for eyes.

"Oh. Hm," the Guardsman slowly nodded, "that's pretty bold. And you're taking me... where?"

"Nowhere. I'm here for your answers," Dipper clenched his fists as the first of the rain graced his burnt skin, sending waves of stinging, searing heat up his arms.

"Oh, I get it," the Guardsman nodded while scratching a bit under his mask, presumably at his chin, "you're going to try threatening me to answer questions you have."

Dipper felt his teeth grind together. He was taunting Dipper with that voice. It sounded so unnatural- the deep voice acting so coy and facetious. Dipper instead took a step closer. "I'm not afraid to fight for what I want."

The Guardsman snorted. "You're almost intimidating. _Almost_," he said to Dipper while leaning forward slightly, still quite taller than him. "Why don't you just start asking instead of promoting lots of violence, most of which you can't handle?"

"I can ha-" Dipper cut himself short and spun away. This Guardsman, despite his possibly worldly important position, had a seeming tendency to tease and mock others. Dipper furiously watched the man as he turned back. The monster before him could not assure him that he was really watching- the entire face still hidden away. Through anger or just his position, Dipper felt something about it all was conceited. He finally spoke again, "God, you must think you're just the greatest thing there is, huh? Gold for blood?" Dipper bit at the man verbally.

The Guardsman watched and spoke up quickly once Dipper had done. "On the contrary."

Dipper paused. "You think you're _less_ than everyone else?"

"It's not about what I think," the Guardsman said.

Dipper waited for the man to continue for a few moments, but only the pouring rain, and now occasional clap of thunder called to him. This man was a walking contradiction. Rude and mocking to Dipper, but claimed to be less than 'everyone' without explaining why. The circumstances only drew Dipper closer to true fury. "Why don't you just... tell the truth about what is going on?!"

"Let me answer your question with another," The guardsman said.

"Oh come on!" Dipper groaned.

"Have you considered that you don't know these answers for a reason?"

Ignoring the pain in his hands, Dipper clawed at his face, pulling on his skin with pent up frustration. "Fine- how about this one for you?!" he shouted, "I want to know that 'reason'! Assuming there is one!"

"There is," the Guardsman said.

"Well? What is the reason?" Dipper demanded. The Guardsman paused, watching Dipper pant and breath slower. After what could have been fifteen seconds of nothing, Dipper leaned closer, awaiting a response. The Guardsman snorted.

"Because it's a secret," he said, constraining what Dipper knew to be laughter.

That was enough. Dipper roared, "HOW IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU!?"

"It isn't," The Guardsman quickly said, turning halfway to indicate the four boulders around the stone, "that's anything but a joke. But this?" the Guardsman pointed to Dipper, and then himself, "oh, that's a joke."

"Well, I'm not laughing!" Dipper stated harshly. "You talked to Omir Steindorf like you two had been aware of each other's plans for years!" the Guardsman shrugged. "You did!" Dipper snapped, "and all this time you could have done something to stop it?!" While there was a pause and the reaction was slower, the Guardsman did indeed shrug. "And that means Yuki and I could have been-"

"Don't throw that onto me," The Guardsman retorted. Dipper paused, heat similar to that of his wounds creeping into his face, behind his eyes, into his brain. "You chose, as I believe, to attack Graupner, the new 'warlock'. You won and pressed your advantage- threatening his life."

"He had done it before!" Dipper shouted back.

The Guardsman's response? He wiggled a finger in the air, scolding Dipper.

"So you lowered yourself to his level?" he asked.

Dipper, without thinking a second, reached down, lifted the closest large rock up, and hurled it at the Guardsman. The man made no movement, no dodge, no evasion. Standing perfectly still, the cloaked, masked figure stared at Dipper as the rock struck his shoulder with a loud, fleshy, thud. The rock fell away, falling into the grass as the cloaked figure made no indication to being stressed or, in any way, changed.

Booming footsteps thundered behind the Guardsman. The four golems raced out, growling as they stared at the two. They roared, "defend the master! Defend the-"

A hand shot up from the Guardsman as fast a lightning. He held his palm to the four golems, holding them still. The four slid to a stop, stunned as they watched their master and the boy, who had readied a fighting pose against the coming attack.

"Thank you guys. I have this under control," the Guardsman said calmly.

"But, but the child-" the rock golem started.

"You are dismissed. Back to your posts," the Guardsman said, never once turning to his golem followers. The golems clearly had hesitation to this order, as they glared at Dipper, and then to the still figure. A strained moment passed, and the four slowly turned away, slumping back to the shadows they perched by. As they left, the Guardsman reached down and lifted the rock that had offended him, holding it in his palm, outstretched. Before Dipper, he tossed it to his feet with a gentle uunder handed throw. "You want to try that again?" he asked.

Dipper did at least three double takes. "W-What!?"

The Guardsman snorted. "Now you sound like Graupner did," he chuckled.

"You don't make _any_ sense!" Dipper shouted, his voice going hoarse from the constant shouting. "And I know insane monsters! I've battled demons before, okay!?" Dipper announced. "You're just being a huge jerk to people- pretending to be serious all the time, when actually you take nothing seriously!"

"Or is it the opposite?" the Guardsman asked.

"SHUT UP!" Dipper yelled. "I'm sick of you and your stupid riddles!"

"Dipper," the Guardsman shook his head, taking a step closer again, and actually passing the furious teen, "you're not _thinking_ about this."

"How am I not thinking about this?" Dipper begged, so driven for straight answers that desperation began to settle in.

"Your actions don't strike me... hehe, strike me," the Guardsman shook his head as he chortled for a moment, but continued when Dipper's nostrils threatened to breath fire, "as the kind that someone with a good head on their shoulders would do. You're not in your own mind, Dipper," the Guurdsman said with finality, "get a hold of yourself."

"NO!" Dipper roared, "not until I get answers! Do you see what I've lost!?" he shouted, holding out the soaked bandages, "what other's have lost!? I'll never seen Yuki the way he was again in my life! Pacifica is broken over Yuki! I can never use my hands again in my life because-" Dipper closed his eyes and spun kicking jewels and grass from the muddy earth into the air. "I'm sick and tired of being lead on like this! I want answers!"

The temperature dropped. Dipper stood, rooted to the spot as the darkness of the shadows seemed to swirl and grow, eclipsing the forest that enshrouded the glade. Dipper rooted himself to the spot, now watching as the shadows faded again, and began to flow towards the Guardsman, giving him a cape of black tendrils. Billowing, smoky, shapeless essence fell from his shoulders, and Dipper finally felt a twinge of fear.

The forces of darkness, at control of the creature's fingertips, made no change in the posture of the tall figure. as he had before, the Guardsman stared at Dipper, and spoke. "If you want answers, you're going to need to try harder than that."

"Then..." Dipper paused, staring at the darkness that swirled around the back of the cloaked man. "I'll take that challenge."

The man nodded. Dipper felt an attack coming long before he saw it- instincts bored into him by Arline flared as a warning to his life. Dipper leapt back as something struck the ground. As he settled back to a trained posture, Dipper blinked. The attack had not been to where he _had_ been, but three feet in front of _that_. Stuck into the ground was a long spear of darkness; a simple, elongated shape of void.

"You'll want help," the creature told Dipper. "Take it."

"I'm taking anything you give me," Dipper growled, readying himself as best he could. The Guardsman shook his head again and sighed.

"If you think so," he said, and then looked back to Dipper, "because I'm sure that judgment of yours really helped back in the tunnels with-"

Dipper rushed forward. Blind rage drove him to attack, willing to do nearly anything to shut this horrible, offensive, rude monster up once and for all. Dipper pulled back and spun, twisting his body so effortlessly and easily. The kick would have knocked Mabel off her feet and Arline would have had to stumble-

The Guardsman stepped aside like it was nothing.

Dipper had no time to recover. A black-gloved hand bore across Dipper's face in a powerful back-handed slap. Dipper stumbled and turned about, feeling his head spin. He surely felt a force to be reckoned when a slap brought stars to his eyes and made his head spin. The image of the Guardsman stood before him, his hand lowering to his side.

With his cheek burning hot, Dipper finally stood up fully and gulped. This was the thing he had chosen to fight. This creature of shadow itself- older than maybe even the nations. Was he an elemental as well? Had Dipper missed the possibility that the Guardsman wasn't even a creature as much as a master elemental- Controlling the other four?

Then the Guardsman lowered a hand and bent his fingers back and forth. He beckoned Dipper to try again. "You can do better," the Guardsman said.

Fury and fear made an interesting mix. Dipper, with a only a moment to consider his next tactic, gave into the rage and rushed forward.

He would find his answers. He would fight for those answers.

* * *

No matter how comfortable the bed spread and mattress could be, Mabel could not find an acceptable position to rest herself.

She was in her room now, sitting against her pillows in her bed. A quiet pig sat next to her bed as well, occasionally sniffing and snorting in his usual demeanor. Mabel however was not herself. Light no longer reflected from her eyes as she happily gazed around. Her head was lowered and poured into a small worn book before her. As Dipper had his books from their now departed Grand Uncle Ford, Mabel had her summer journals.

Somber and tired, Mabel stared into the old Summer book. It was a purchase made just around the time she and Dipper first came to Gravity Falls three years prior. Bright pastels of pink, blue, and more pink bounded into the once excitable woman's mulled over eyes. At first the book was mundane and silly, as she knew herself to be. The time she and Dipper were sent to county jail for a night with Grunkle Stan for making fraud money, and the outfits Mabel proudly showed on Dipper, who had begrudgingly agreed to be part of the picture. The first real mystery the two of them shared together- the case of Wax Stan's missing head, and the various clues that Mabel had taken a quick polaroid of.

Over time, as Mabel flipped pages, the things became more exiting and more crazy. Going to the future, and Mabel showing off a self-levitating Umbrella she had stolen- which had been eaten by Gompers the Goat later on. Being chased by dinosaurs in the woods shortly after fighting pterodactyls for Waddle's safety. Going through the woods with Grenda and Candy shortly after sending a troop of clone musicians into the woods. Once these things seemed so grand and crazy. Yet now, all these memories reminded Mabel of simpler times.

Another page flip had Mabel purse her lips.

She saw a picture of the family. Of her, Dipper, Grunkle Stan... and Grunkle Ford.

They had taken a short picture after dealing with a vampire incursion. The Vampires, furious that the gravity spike had ruined much of their better hiding spots, fled into town and sought revenge. With Grunkle Ford at their side, they had beaten back the vampires and sent them into the woods, and gave them various caves to hide in. Mabel grinned at how excited Dipper had been to see the Author of the Journals in action, beating back the undead with his recovered technology from other universes.

Then she turned the page and saw a small crayon picture she had drawn, with the intent to send to her mother and father. The two Grand-Uncles held hands while drawn to be upset with their position, and Mabel's happy description of what they were like. She turned the page quickly, no longer wanting to see the picture.

It brought back too much pain.

She closed the book slowly and heaved a long, shaky sigh. It was one of two, and both now reminded her only of failures and broken memories. Her eyes turned to the second, uncompleted summer journal, just barely out of reach by the end of the bed. Her eyes focused on it, and then she realized someone was poking their head half way through the door.

"Soos?" Mabel asked.

"Hey," Soos quietly said, nervously tapping his fingers along the edge of the door, "uh... I was looking for Dipper, but I guess I ran into you."

"Oh. He's around," Mabel shrugged.

"Right," he said, and lowered his hands, feeling something in his pocket. "Well, I'll just leave you be," he said, and lowered his head back.

Mabel's heart lunged for the chance to speak to someone she knew she could trust. "Soos!" she called back to the door. Once again the head of the Handyman popped back into view. "You want to come in and just chill like homies?" she asked, forcing a smile to her lips.

"Aw, sure dawg," Soos nodded and stepped in, walking over to Dipper's door and sitting down. As he did, Mabel realized that his hat was wet, along with his shoulders and much of his clothes.

"Why are you wet?" she asked, "were you out in the rain?"

"Yeah, had to run home to get something," he gloomily said, "mister pines sent me and your friends home, but I had to come back and try something."

"Huh?" Mabel asked, moving to sit off the edge of her bed. Soos reached inside his pocket, and withdrew a small pill. Her mind clicked quickly, and Mabel recognized it. "The Cure-all!"

"Yeah," Soos started, "I thought, you know, it'd be a good time to use on Yuki. So I came back, and... Pacifica reminded me he can't swallow..." Soos held the pill in his hands, looking at it, "I was like, this close," he held up his other hand, making a distance between his thumb and index finger, "to just, you know, tossing it in his throat and shaking him around until it fell in his stomach, but then Arline showed up. She reminded me that the pill doesn't work on curses."

Mabel frowned and felt her gaze drop. Soos had the moment of clarity to try something like that- something like surrendering a perfect cure-all to save a friend, and still it wouldn't work. What options did they have? She finally glanced back up to Soos, and saw him eyeing the books.

"Been reading?" he asked her, his own forced smile in place. Mabel shrugged. It was more of a shudder; her body twitching in place as she fought to decide how much she could really call it 'reading' instead of 'lamenting'. Soos seemed to get it. "Yeah. Kinda one of those days, right?"

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, "this stupid rain's got everyone down."

Soos's smiled lifted slightly. "Hah. It could use a brightening up, you know?"

Mabel did know. She grinned and bobbed her head over. "Sit here," she suggested. Soos lifted and did as asked, plopping down next to Mabel. She reached over to the newer book and lifted it up. "You remember my old book, right?" she asked, pointing to the pink and blue bindings.

"Ah, a Gravity Falls Best-Seller," Soos said.

Mabel grinned. "Yeah. That was pretty cool, wasn't it?" she said as she flipped it open yet again. The first of many pages fell out, and with a mere brush of her thumb, they spread and fell aside, showing her many illustrations and self-taken pictures. "I thought it was going to be so full of romances and summer flings that I ended up forgetting how cool it actually turned out," she told Soos as the final pages fell to her left.

"Oh heck of a summer," Soos nodded and whistled, "adventure-"

"Romance," Mabel added quickly, "friendship-"

"Mystery," Soos interjected, "heroism-"

"And other more, uh, sad... stuff," Mabel trailed away as the final pages, still clean of her handiwork, laid before her as stark reminder to what had happened.

Soos looked up to her, his own expression darkening. "Hey, we couldn't have known dude."

"Stanford seemed so normal," Mabel shook her head slowly, "he just... it seemed like he wanted to help."

"Well, you try being kept in a universe were Bill the jerk Cipher is hunting you down for, gosh, thirty years, and still be sane and under your own influence," Soos said quietly. "I don't really blame him, honestly."

"Me neither," Mabel sighed. She gently laid the first book aside, and then opened the second, "and here I thought, you know, earlier this summer, we could finally make one with a happy ending. I mean, just look at all these bezazzled pictures!" she demanded, and flipped through them. The first of many flipped out, and she beamed. "See, look," she pointed.

The image was Mabel's first real attempt at 'advertising'. She had taken a picture of Stan in front of the newly opened Mystery Manor, and then did her absolute best to decorate to a high standard. However, as with all things involving Mabel, she inevitably ended up going a little harder on the sparkles and stickers than she had originally planned. She had also drawn a picture of a cartoony-happy big-foot waving at the camera from behind the shack.

"Another clear masterpiece," Soos chuckled.

"Stan thought it was goofy, but it clearly belonged here," Mabel nodded briskly. She turned the page, showing a cut-out article of the talent show. "Ohh! Look!" Mabel said, leaning in to the page, "it's us!" she said.

The picture in question was a snapped image of the wreckage after the talent show. Toby Determined, in his desperation to get _some_ reliable source of news from that disaster, had snapped a picture of the crew before they all retreated to the Mystery Manor. Dipper and Mabel were telling Stan about their run in with Arline, and in mid-snap of the picture, Stan had let out a horrible grimace; now frozen in all time as a gaping, wrinkled face.

"I'm there too!" Soos pointed. In the background of the picture, Soos held on for his life atop his grand and elaborate clockwork horse.

"Yeah! What ever happened to that pony?" Mabel asked.

"I think it just ran out of time," Soos shrugged.

Mabel blinked, uncertain of what he had implied, and turned the page. Mabel snorted and shook her head. "That was a horrible shaving week," she muttered. Before her was her own gleaming smile as she took a picture, showing her new arm-pits, and how much she would have to shave.

"Oh man, if you think that's bad," Soos said, and started to lift his shirt.

"No, you doofus," Mabel chuckled and pulled his shirt down, "that was after I was a werewolf.

"Oh! Man, you even out-hairy'ed your uncle! And that's saying something!" Soos commended her with a significant look.

Mabel turned the page again, her mouth open and ready to commentate. Instead she froze, looking at what was before her. Soos too opened his mouth and froze.

It was the last of many pages that had been doodled in and had a picture glued to the surface. The picture in question was Mabel's most recent, taken by Omir Stiendorf right before he, Zander, Dipper, and Mabel had all gone hunting for Graupner. The most recent picture of Yuki, standing nearby Soos and Dipper, looking uncertain as how to hold himself. Mabel stared at the picture, and specifically, at Yuki.

"I miss him too," Soos suddenly blurted out.

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, and released a long, shuddering breath. She wanted to close the page, have the frozen memory leave her be. It brought her pain and a horrible, clawing nostalgia that ate at her very soul. Then her eyes lingered on Arline, leaning by a tree. Mabel clenched her teeth and then with a loud snap, closed the book. "Such a liar," she grumbled as she tossed the book to the side.

"Who?" Soos asked, eyeing Mabel worriedly.

"It doesn't matter," Mabel said.

Why wouldn't she tell Soos? She reflected on herself; this wasn't like her. She always spoke her mind- very rarely did she really desire to withhold such clenching feelings and do nothing for it. But this one- the deep, bitter, bubbling anger that roiled in her- she wanted to keep that under taps. Soos seemed to notice. Mabel internally punished herself for staring at the wall with such a heated glare for too long.

"She's still your friend, right?" Soos asked. "Arline, right?"

"I don't know," Mabel grumbled. "She lied pretty badly. This whole time she acted like she didn't care about Steindorf- like he was just another person to talk to or whatever. But then she just... turned right around and admitted she knew all this from the beginning. That could have helped us," Mabel lied back down, slapping her back against the sheets. "She kept secrets from _me_."

Soos nodded. He seemed, as anyone would, uncertain to what to say. Mabel's feelings were a mixture of pain and loss, from a physically exhausted and worn person who had her feelings betrayed. Maybe, as Mabel watched him fidget, he didn't want hurting her further, or infuriating her. Mabel sighed after a moment of watching him squirm from the corner of her eye.

"Soos, it's okay," she looked to him, "I'm not going to bite. What do you think?"

"Well, to be honest," Soos started, "it's not about you and Arline."

"Huh?" Mabel looked directly at him.

"Before I left, Stan spoke to me. He said-" Soos turned away, holding a hand to his eyes as he sniffled, "-he said that he was going... going to close the mystery manor down."

Mabel shot up like her body had been touched by a live wire. She felt a beat in her ears equal to the speed and depth that she felt when she was rushing up floating rocks to escape a battle between ancient warriors.

"_What_!?" she demanded.

"I- I don't know what to say," Soos told her as he struggled against her gaze.

"He didn't say that-" Mabel ended her thought, and leapt off the bed. She made for the door with deliberation as Waddles rushed out of the way, squealing.

"W-wait, Mabel!" Soos rushed after her, but lagged as she darted out of the room and down the stairs. Rounding into the main hallway, she peered into each of the rooms, and finally found the giftshop occupied by Stan.

"STANLEY PINES," Mabel roared as she stomped into the room.

Stan had been lowering the 'OPEN' sign on the front window when he flinched and dropped it. He spun instantly with a loud cry, and spotted Mabel. "Whoo!" he shouted, "thank goodness it's you. Seeing my mother again isn't what I need now."

"What does Soos mean when you told him that you're closing the Manor!?" she demanded, marching right up to him. Stan did a double take, and then looked her to an approaching, timid, and clearly uncomfortable Soos.

"You told her?!" Stan demanded of Soos.

"Sorry Mister Pines," Soos said, sounding horribly torn over his own choice of words, "but I- she needed- I just-"

"Why?!" Mabel repeated. "Why are you closing?"

Stan faced the wrath of his grand niece head on. Hands on his hips, he lowered his gaze only slightly and stared at her. "Because I'm tired of living here and working in this place!" he shouted. "Look what this business has gotten me!" he pointed around, his voice cracking, "sure, maybe a few bucks, but look at what this place makes me LOSE!" he shouted, and pointed to the hallway, towards the still closed door to Yuki's room.

Mabel choked on her words. Stan's eyes shimmered with emotion. She shook her head. "You can't just give in though! If you do, you'll just end up throwing this all away for nothing!"

"For nothing!?" Stan shouted back, a crooked smile on his lips, "Mabel, I've lost enough to realize what I already have, and..." he paused, steadying his breath, "what it could cost me."

"What else is there?" Mabel asked, her voice refusing to lower.

Stan looked no where else but her. "You guys."

Though her body and mind demanded a retort, her soul could afford nothing. What could be said to that? Especially with the way he looked: he was down and folding his last hand of cards. Stan Pines had nothing left to hide and bluff behind. Suddenly Mabel felt disgusted; like she had just spit upon him with her meanest shot. She could only stand there, shaking her head side to side.

"Look... we had good times, okay?" Stan said, his arms slumping, "but things change. I need to call your parents in the morning and tell them I'm sending you two home, okay?" he said. "I'm... I'm leaving the Mystery Manor, and it's closing down for good."

She had plenty of time to say something as he walked around her. She had more than enough space to keep up with him as he walked form the room. Her brain was a buzz of sound and devoid of cohesion. Finally, as his footsteps made the threshold of the edge of the room, she turned.

"But, Grunkle Stan," she tried, her words shaking.

The elderly man turned, his own eyes reflecting a broken soul. "I'm sorry Mabel. I can't take any more loss like this. Not again."

And he left her and Soos to the gift shop.

Instinct ran over Mabel's mind with the force to pummel her into the dirt. Mabel spun away and lunged out the door, having it slam shut behind her. She cried as she ran off the porch and felt the drops of water splash her face. Rage burned in her heart as sorry drowned her mind. She was lost in her own heart and feelings, and made for the first tree she spotted- large pine tree down the road.

Rushing ahead and splashing mud and water into the air, she eventually ran into the tree with a dull thud. He shoulder ached, but what was it compared to the non-physical pain she languished. Using the tree as purchase, she spun and laid against the soaked bark, slowly lowering herself to a seat.

Even in the mud, she felt the heat in her heart and the weight in her head. Nothing seemed level and controlled anymore. What great flow in her life she once maintained she had lost. Instead she had the pounding in her ears, the pestering patter against her skin, the driving ache in her head, and the pulling cold of the air.

Her ears picked something nearby up though. Loud enough to be heard over the rain, Mabel blinked and looked around. It was dulled and muffled, but she knew what she heard...

Rock music.

She turned to her left, saw nothing. Turned to her right, saw only the signs of the road leading towards the main highway. A particularly heavy droplet of water struck her head, and she flinched. It was cold. That flinch, as it was, had her look up. She gasped.

There was a woman in the trees above her, sitting in the rain with earbuds on and her phone in her pocket, bobbing to music. Soaked red hair fell along her shoulders.

"Wendy!" Mabel called with a loud gasp. The wraith did not respond. Mabel noticed her eyes were closed. So with a smirk, Mabel reached over and knocked loudly on the side of the tree.

Wendy jumped and looked down. "Oh!" she ripped the earbuds from her, and Mabel could hear the music blaring down to her. "Mabel! Hey."

"Hey," Mabel called back up, a simple wave of her hand the most greeting she could afford.

"Mabel, what are you doing out here?" Wendy asked, pushing her earbuds away. "It's freezing out here."

"Why are you out here?" Mabel asked.

Wendy blinked and leaned back against the tree, looking away into the forest. "Nothing."

"You sure?" Mabel asked, propping a corner of her mouth to grin just slightly. "Sounded like you were listening to something."

"Heh. You got me," Wendy glanced to Mabel. Nothing more came from Wendy as she stared away. Mabel finally got the idea to turn and stare also in that direction. She saw the Mystery Manor, it's faint glow illuminating the space of the forest it occupied. When Mabel looked up, Wendy had turned her head skyward. "Stan told me something pretty heavy earlier."

"The same thing he told Soos?" Mabel asked. Wendy nodded, still looking to the sky. "So stupid," Mabel grunted and flopped against the tree yet again. "I mean, it's not like... he's getting anything else out of closing the place down, is he?" she asked. Wendy said nothing, and Mabel continued. "I mean, sure, it's unsafe sometimes, but when is it ever safe for us? Huh? Never!" Mabel declared. "He's just scared! And stupid! And... UGH!" Mabel stomped onto the ground and fell silent, with exception to her pained heaving.

Wendy spoke up after a break from Mabel's panting as rain splashed around them. "I was just thinking about what I'm going to do," Wendy said quietly.

Mabel leaned back and looked up, peering past the occasional falling raindrop. "What do you mean?"

"If Stan closes the shop," Wendy mentioned, looking down and staring at the shack, "I'll have no where permanent to go. Everyone in town now thinks I'm a ghost, but this... this was my only real place to go. I'm just wondering... where else would I go?" Wendy mused aloud, turning her legs out and dangling them down slightly.

Mabel felt her lips tighten. Wendy's usual strong voice was riddled with doubt and fear. As Mabel, she was connected to this place now. Through circumstance and tragedy, Wendy had come to rely on Stan and Soos as brethren- her new crazy family to deal with on a regular basis. At that was, as Wendy had explained to Dipper and Mabel, only during the Summer. All the rest of the year, Wendy had... no where to go.

If she struggled only with three months of a stationary home, what would happen without even that security.

Mabel shrugged, and looked up. "We'll figure it out," she said. Wendy snorted and shook her head. "We will!"

"You're like your brother," Wendy smiled and looked down, "I'm not sure either of you know that."

"We will!" Mabel affirmed, her voice stronger despite cracking. "I won't let my best friend be all left to be a vagabond, unless she wants to!" Mabel added. Wendy cracked up and laughed, teetering back and forth along the branch of the tree. Mabel even let herself chuckled, the heaviness of her head lifting while her burning heart softened.

"You guys," Wendy smiled, "you're always keeping me sane, you know that?" she added with a wink to Mabel, who gave an entirely over-exaggerated wink back.

"Well, what can I say?" Mabel smirked, "gotta keep all my pals in shape, right?" Wendy beamed back at Mabel, and slowly looked back to the building. Mabel followed suit, the warm light reaching the two of them. Something about the rain had eased. While the storm had not lightened, Mabel no longer felt as distant to the world around her. She was cold now, and shivered.

Movement shocked her to he direct left as Wendy leapt down. Landing as soft as a leaf, she sat next to Mabel and leaned against the twin. Mabel could only lean back, accepting the haunting warmth that Wendy could not feel in her own body.

"You know, honestly?" Mabel asked quietly, "I think you're more 'older sister' now, after all the stuff we've all been through." Mabel glanced to Wendy, who had suddenly looked away. "Wendy?" Mabel asked, seeing the red-head tense her shoulders. "You okay?"

Wendy nodded, but did not look back. Mabel leaned back, not wishing to invade Wendy's personal space any more than she already had. When she did, she saw the red-head's arm raise to her face and wipe something away. Smiling with a quivering lip, Mabel also pushed away tears from her cheeks.

The two ladies, soaked while sitting under a tree in the rain, stared together at the Mystery Manor, reflecting on the times they had. Silent and still, they let the occasional thunder pound the sky without flinching. The rain tickling their skin had no effect on their tranquility.

Minutes could have elapsed as they sat together, muddy and wet, when finally Wendy said with a loud sniffle, "Thanks for saying that, Mabel."

Mabel smiled back. "No, thank you," she grinned, and the two laughed. "But seriously," Mabel said, the courage and warmth spending time with Wendy infecting her, "when are you and Dipper going to just become a thing already?"

Wendy snorted and leaned back while laughing. Mabel intently watched her, giving her best friendly glare. "Dude!" Wendy pushed Mabel away as the two laughed. "Where did that come from!?" she demanded between fits of joy.

"I dunno!" Mabel shrugged, "as the sister to my brother, the helplessly attracted boy he is, and you, being the object of his affections and my soon-to-be adopted sister," Mabel added, "I'm getting tired of not knowing what is up between you two!"

Wendy pursed her lips and turned, staring back at the light in the distance. A deep thought passed behind her eyes, giving Mabel the idea that Wendy had been pondering this before. The wraith tilted her head side to side before turning back to Mabel. "Look, I don't know yet," Wendy admitted, "I mean, I don't want to sound rude, but I'm not exactly in the shape to, you know... date? Being technically dead?"

"Hah!" Mabel barked, "they said being alive is the best time- but maybe being dead is even better!"

The two chuckled, but Wendy finally shrugged.

"Look, Dipper's still doing his thing. I'm... not saying no, or never-" Wendy started, but a loud screech from Mabel nearly threw Wendy over.

"YOU DIDN'T SAY NO! NOT NO!" Mabel shrieked, running around the tree like an excited chipmunk. Wendy let her run around several times as she babbled, screaming out excited things. "I can finally have Dipper stop staring at all my girl-friends! I've got a wedding to plan! Oh my god, I'll soon be an aunt and-"

"Whoa, whoa!" Wendy reached out and grabbed Mabel, pulling her back to a seat on the wet ground. "Slow that down by a few notches!" Mabel nodded in a blur, and Wendy chuckled, shaking her head. "As far as I'm concerned, Dipper and I are still really good friends, okay? Before you go all... crazy again," Wendy held her grip on Mabel, who bounded up and down, "and more stuff, we should really just... talk. Him and I, I mean."

"Why?" Mabel asked. Wendy lowered her hand and sighed. The female twin instantly could see a hidden pain in the green eyes and gasped. "He shouted at you, didn't he?!"

"He was just angry," Wendy rolled his eyes, "and be stupid."

"Well, we should go talk to him now!" Mabel decided, and shot up. With a hard tug, she lifted Wendy up as well. "Let's go find that loser and get him to apologize for whatever he did!"

* * *

SLAM.

The force of the impact bounded him away as he rolled. Dipper rushed back to his feet.

His arms at his side, lifted up against his head for protection, he spun back to face his foe. Approaching him at a leisurely pace, the Guardsman made no note of Dipper's stance. The teen, bruised all along his face, arms, body regardless, growled, and made for another series of kicks.

Each time he swung, the Guardsman leaned back, stepped away, ducked under. After four kicks, a hand shot out and grasped Dipper's leg. Struggling to stand, Dipper hopped in place, feeling his balance shift.

"Is this really your best, Dipper?" the Guardsman asked.

"No!" Dipper shouted, and kicked off with his foot and kicked forward with his standing leg. Now entirely in the air, Dipper made to drive his heel into the center of the mask. Instead, the other hand reached up and grasped his foot. Now caught with two hands, Dipper realized his compromised position.

The Guardsman snorted. "Fool."

With a mighty twist and hurl, Dipper was launched over the Guardsman back and thrown skyward. Yelling as he saw a whirl of darkness and spinning trees, Dipper began to fall just as he straightened up. He wasn't a few feet in the air- he was in the canopy. The Guardsman had somehow _thrown_ him, by strength alone, into the trees.

Dipper reached out with his burned hands in desperation. He caught a branch and screamed. The dull, sickening pain of burned flesh scratching against bark underneath wrappings overwhelmed his senses for a moment. He almost forgot to hang on. Still, Dipper was able to begin pulling himself up.

Now on the large branch in the middle of the trees, he looked back to the earth for his foe. The Guardsman was gone.

"Hey."

Dipper whipped around and waved his arms, fanning the air for balance. The Guardsman, in the time it took Dipper to pull himself up onto the branch, had joined him some ten feet away, standing atop a swaying sliver of wood like a cat, the figure in black watched Dipper with his mask intact.

"Don't lag," the Guardsman warned Dipper, and stepped forward, closing the distance. Dipper again kicked out, reaching up as he did for a branch. This time, he could use the branches above and aside him for leverage. The Guardsman blocked.

Dipper was pulled past the guardsman, but he grasped another branch on another tree. He ignored the pain, realizing his situation had to ascend above his own normal pain. As he spun, clenching his jaw tightly to bite away the furious agony caused by his own doing, Dipper saw the Guardsman kick back. Dipper pushed up and backwards, feeling the rush of wind from the kick ruffle his vest and shirt.

Dipper landed and made to balance. The new tree he stood on was slippery, and one bad twist of his ankle had Dipper topple. Rather than plummet, he fell and reached up with his arms, tucking his armpits around the branch. It wasn't enough though. He was slipping.

Then something soft brushed against his knuckles. Dipper saw the black fabric and glanced up. The Guardsman peered down at him.

"You're about to learn two lessons. Lesson one. Gravity," the Guardsman said, and put a boot to Dipper's face, "is absolutely neutral. It can be bent, but it never obeys."

"Damn you!" Dipper growled as the boot slowly pushed him down.

"And lesson two," the guardsman said with a small chuckle, "the earth uses Gravity to it's best. So... off you go!"

The Guardsman pushed hard, and Dipper slipped. Screaming as he plummeted while facing the dark sky, Dipper slammed into a nearby tree branch. The wind knocked out of him, he spun and fell forward, hitting another tree branch. Three more struck him, bashing him again and again until finally he fell six feet and slammed into the earth with a loud and wet slap.

His world was a clenching suit of tense muscular pain. Every fiber of muscle twisted and shook visibly as he lay in the mud, feeling the cold, water-fed earth wash his face and hair. Something landed nearby, and he looked up. His enemy had landed effortlessly, staring at Dipper.

"That's earth. The enduring. The crushing. The body," the Guardsman stated. "Now use yours and _stand_," he growled.

Dipper bared his teeth and pushed. His body obeyed, and slowly he got back up.

"Lesson three," the guardsman stated the moment Dipper was back on his two feet, "the nature of water."

Dipper rushed forward. "I've learned about water!" he said, and now swung with his fists, swiping at air as the Guardsman leaned in and out from his strikes. "It's a part of the paths!"

"Water," the guardsman struck Dipper with his shoulder, stunning him with barely a twist of the body, "flows. It breaks. It bends. And it drowns," he said, and with a mighty jump back, he raised his hands.

The water of the earth began to tremble. Dipper stalled in his advance, watching as water itself began to flow like a snake around the Guardsman, coiling in large, thick collected streams. Then, with a mighty push of both hands, the man in darkness threw the water at Dipper. Heavy strikes of freezing cold slammed into Dipper, throwing him off his feet and away. As he rolled, flailing through the dispersing water, he finally found air again and coughed. Breathing never felt so good until you thought you were about to drown.

"You know about water, do you?" the Guardsman asked.

Dipper once again pushed himself up., brushing off his shoulder with a wince from his hand. "Yeah, I do," Dipper said, looking to the Guardsman with a heated glare. "I'm learning the paths, and I relate to water! Thought and cunning and-"

"Then use that," the Guardsman muttered as he darted forward. The speed he used was shockingly faster than anything Dipper would have expected. Dipper had barely enough time to bow aside and lift his hands to buffer the kick. He was still, however, lifted aside and thrown away. Off his feet and slammed against a rock, the wounded teen groaned as he slid down and landed onto his knees and fell forward. His back felt like gelatin. "Now, for fire..."

"No," Dipper said, trying to push up again.

"You've learned plenty of it," the Guardsman stated, and held his hands out to his sides, "but... let's have a _warm_ _up_ about it, shall we?"

Dipper groaned again, more upset at the lame pun than the possible threat. As he finally stood, using the boulder as a means to stand, he saw it. Embers emerging from the Guardsman's open hands. More and more billowed up and into the air, ignoring the heavy rain as they swirled and billowed around. Then the embers grew into streaks of fire itself.

Dipper ducked just as the attack came. A fireball was thrown straight at him, so fast he could barely react. As he rolled, the heated ball of pure flame exploded next to him, throwing up dirt and stones into the air. The Guardsman did not wait for him to recover, and threw another. Instinctively, Dipper raised his hands.

The ball of fire collided with the soaked fabric, and Dipper screamed as a very familiar feeling soared into his arms, and he spun away, bent over as he tucked his hands around his body.

"And the last touch of the four," the Guardsman said, walking around Dipper, who's eyes streaked tears of pain, "air. Bringing of storms, breath of the future, and a great way of transport. Want a taste?"

Dipper had no chance to move. His body was so worn and beaten that he could only fixate a single defeated sigh from his lips before the wave came.

A current of air rushed into Dipper's face and body. He was lifted, as he had been before and thrown high into the air. Unlike his previous airborne adventure, he slammed his back into the trunk of a tree, and slid to the ground with a loud thud. His back seemed numb. Dipper's finger and toe tips stung. The world swam in his vision.

"Now," the Guardsman said from the distance, "stand up."

Dipper lifted his head as best her could. Before him was the thrown spike of shadow, still imbedded into the ground.

With a push, Dipper tried lifting himself. A moment later, he fell back.

"I can't," he muttered.

The Guardsman hummed. "Why's that?"

"Because I'm not strong enough to beat you!?" Dipper shouted, the mud spraying from his face as he yelled.

"No. You can't because you tell yourself you can't," the Guardsman corrected.

"I tried," Dipper pleaded, "I can't get up. You... you're too strong."

"Maybe," the Guardsman nodded, "But my strength has nothing to do with your ability to stand up, does it?" Dipper lifted his gaze again, studying the figure in black. He hadn't approached. The creature really was just watching him from the safe distance, eying him from behind that mask. The Guardsman chuckled. "Finally thinking with your head, and not your anger. Good. Now... stand."

Dipper stared for a moment. His mind was finally cooling and clearing. The haze of injury faded from him, and the hate for the creature gone, Dipper did what he suddenly knew he should have done from the beginning. He reached forward, and took hold of the weapon. With it in his clutches, he lifted himself up.

Staggering to his feet, Dipper held the long spear of shadow in his hands. The Guardsman clapped loudly, applauding him.

"Yes! Yes! Very good!" the creature in the veil said. "You finally started using your greatest strength."

"My mind?" Dipper asked with a fought back smile. The Guardsman nodded.

"Indeed. And now that you have a weapon in your clutches... I surrender," the Guardsman suddenly bowed.

"WHAT?!" Dipper shouted, dropping the spear accidentally. He scrambled to reach it, and held it in his hands. "You- you would have just given up if I had grabbed the spear!?" The Guardsman nodded again. Dipper had all the exasperation in the world rush through his brain at once, followed by absolute, stark, relief.

"To be fair, Dipper," the Guardsman stood back up, "you wouldn't have grabbed the spear in the first place." Dipper went to speak, but the Guardsman held up his head. "The fact that you even wanted to fight was enough to tell me you weren't thinking straight. That was the test- to act in your best interests or to act on your anger. Besides, it made my job to help you much easier."

"Help me?" Dipper repeated, holding the spear to the side, "what did you help me with exactly? You punched me all over the place!" The Guardsman shrugged. "Unless... you were teaching me some crazy secret fighting technique?"

"No. I just cleared you out a few ways," the Guardsman admitted, and held out two fingers, "one, I think you're thinking much clearer."

"That's a given... I don't think throwing all those crazy techniques at me was required though," Dipper scolded the Guardsman, who then wiggled the second finger.

"Two, and this one is important," he said to Dipper, "you _feel_ a lot clearer."

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"Tell me, how's the weight on my shadow-spike?" the Guardsman asked Dipper, who then turned to it.

"Well, I don't know, I didn't really... wait," Dipper realized something. He was holding it. He had been holding it since he pulled himself back to his feet. But the feat itself wasn't impressive... it was the lack of pain.

Dipper slowly reached out with one hand and clenched it. Nothing happened. He felt no shocking, horrible burn. Then the other hand twisted. He was fine. With a mad scramble, Dipper undid all the wrapping, occasionally making sure the Guardsman was still there. After a moment, the fabric was gone.

His hands were healed. Perfectly normal.

"But... how?" Dipper asked, looking over his healed hands.

"Each of the four elements, when combined," the Guardsman explained, "are the forces that supposedly craft life. I would know," he added with a small bounce on his heels, "you know, making the paths myself."

Dipper slowly looked up. "You... _made_ the paths?" The Guardsman nodded. "Arline's master is also the original... of the original?"

"Guilty as charged," the Guardsman chuckled.

"So, Dipper," the Guardsman reached into his sleeve, and withdrew the starry-like black spear resembling the shadow spike, "do I need to defend myself?"

Dipper paused, looking at the figure which he had, up until very recently, considered an enemy. "No," Dipper shook his head.

"Good," the Guardsman sighed, and the spear seemed to deflate and flatten, spiraling back up the sleeve, "I've had enough fighting for a day. So... you ready to try this again from the beginning?"

"Yes," Dipper nodded. He took a long breath, and then asked, "the stone."

"Ah, that thing," the Guardsman poked his thumb over his shoulder, "that's the stone of conservation."

"What does it do?" Dipper asked, approaching the Guardsman.

"Long ago, more than four hundred, actually," the Guardsman said, watching Dipper approach, "a great Mage crafted it to save the world. It, at the time, instantly absorbed eighty percent of all magic on earth and around earth."

"Wait, what?" Dipper asked. The Guardsman stared at him, giving the teen the idea that he had answered his question as fully as he was willing to. While Dipper craved for more, pushing his luck was no longer an option. He was still, at minimum, sore from his beating. "So, it's the cause for all the magic in Gravity Falls?"

"Just about," The Guardsman turned, pointing to the four stones, "you see, as time goes on, the amount of magic in the world still grows. But the eighty percent magic it has always lost is beginning to leak out. It radiates from the stone-"

"Contaminating the area with magical pollution," Dipper finished, "well, technically pollution."

"We can call it 'residual arcana'," The Guardsman said to Dipper, giving him a quick glance.

"If that's the case, why did Omir Stiendorf want it?" Dipper asked, "if it just contains magic, it would be bad for him."

The Guardsman shook his head and leaned against the boulders. "The Starkissed Stone of Conservation is just a sponge. A sponge so full that it's about to burst. But, just as it can suck up magic, it can also..." he lingered, watching Dipper carefully.

"... be squeezed," Dipper finished. "He wants to use all that magic for something. What is it?" he asked the Guardsman. The figure on the boulder leaned back, turning his head to the sky.

"Something bad."

"You don't know?" Dipper gasped.

"I didn't say that," the Guardsman told Dipper, "but... it's not something I like talking about."

"Oh," Dipper mumbled.

"Dipper," the Guardsman turned to him, looking down on the young teen, "you need to understand the dangers of magic. Arcana is a power that keeps giving. It infects and corrupts minds great and evil alike. Just as it is endlessly bountiful, it is endlessly capable. The Sorcerer, as you know him, Omir, he was one of the few I've ever known to not be as carried away as others."

"Wait," Dipper held a hand to the Guardsman, "you mean Omir was a 'polite spellcaster'?"

"Oh yes," the Guardsman nodded, "just look at his apprentice." Dipper hissed and nodded. "Dipper, this is why I made the Paths. We have to find a discipline to this power. Then we have the understanding to what it can do as we can still use it."

Something about the conversation rung with Dipper. The concept that his being created the martial arts that had saved his life, and his sister's life, many times was already hard enough to wrap his head around. On top of that, he then realized and remembered something said earlier that day.

"You and Omir," Dipper started slowly, watching the Guardsman carefully, "you... were close once?"

"...You could tell?" the Guardsman stated.

"It reminded me of the way my two Great Uncles would fight," Dipper shrugged, "just with less fire and explosions. Most of the time."

The Guardsman chuckled and leaned back, nodding. "Yes. We... he was my first pupil of the Paths."

"He- what?!" Dipper gasped, and then put a hand to his face. "Great. He knew magic and martial arts."

"Know's," the Guardsman corrected. Dipper blinked, and looked up. Trickles of cold raced through his body as the correction suddenly connected in his mind. He understood what he meant.

"He's alive," Dipper stated.

"His own little firecracker won't kill him," the Guardsman said. "He's strong, intelligent, driven, and for the most part, kind," the Guardsman sighed, his hands drifting into a set pair of pockets in the inside of his robes.

"You... you still care about him, don't you?" Dipper asked. It took a moment, but the Guardsman finally nodded, but remained silent. Dipper bit on his lip gently. A burning question was eager to be answered. "If... if you had the chance, all this time, to kill him... w-would you?" Dipper tried.

To that answer, Dipper was met with silence.

"Sorry," he quickly apologized. That time, he was met with a long, drawn out sigh.

"No, no," the Guardsman shrugged, "don't worry about it. It's natural to be curious. We want to know everything about that which we don't. So, don't worry. And as far as I know, you don't know anything about me."

Dipper smirked. "Well, no. I know a little. I know you're the master of the Paths, and are totally into dramatic ways of helping people."

The Guardsman laughed, holding his stomach. The sound behind the mask infected Dipper, and he too laughed. Finally the Guardsman straightened and shook his head. "Still. I can't say you know me too well."

Dipper nodded. "Yeah. Will we get the chance to?" He asked suddenly, "me and my sister? Mabel?"

The Guardsman scratched at the chin on his mask. A moment's thought later, and he replied, "I don't know. There's a lot to catch up on. If you're lucky, maybe."

"Oh," Dipper rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, "so optimistic." The Guardsman snorted. The two stood before one another, absolutely soaked in mud and rain water. Dipper was becoming envious of the long shroud around the man's body. He was starting to shiver. "Well... I think I need to go back. now that I'm not a jerk, I can help people out."

"That's a mild improvement," the Guardsman said, surely grinning behind the mask. Dipper turned, his own grin wide and proud. "Dipper." The teen stalled and turned to face his new-ally. "Omir is not done. You guys really hit him hard with his little underground operation, but he's not done by a long shot. He'll start swinging wildly soon now, especially since you all could get in his way," the Guardsman stepped forward, and reached for his hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Just... be ready. Things are only about to get a lot more... intense."

Hearing the words come from an emotionless mask on a tall, cloaked figure was enough to make Dipper gulped. Once the hand lowered from his shoulder, the teen turned again, and walked away. The rain-splattered grass and mud under his foot, Dipper began to climb back up the mild climb. Half way there, he considered himself lucky he was really alive- and with fully functional hands. He turned. "Hey, thanks-"

The Guardsman was gone.

"... Show off," Dipper mumbled as he rolled his eyes. With a quick turn, he than ran off in the direction he knew the Mystery Manor to be.

* * *

Hope is reborn.

Dark, brooding, sad, and now a brighter horizon comes.

Or... does it?

Dunno. Stay tuned to find out! :O

-EZB

* * *

**Svzormt rh lmob gsv urihg hgvk.**

**-AND-**

**Zdu kdv frph. Ohdyh Judylwb Idoov zkloh brx vwloo fdq.**

* * *

"Here it is, sir. The place we found the scorch marks you told us to look for."

"Thank you gentlemen. You are dismissed to headquarters for re-assignemtn."

"Sir?"

"Off you go."

Deep underground in a scorched interior ante-chamber, two decorated but beaten up security guards in suits limped away, leaving behind a perfectly healthy and re-aged Omir Steindorf. Facing away from the breach in rock that lead to the tall, spiraling up walkway to the tunnels, he looked at a dangling chain.

He reached out, yet never touched it. His once again wrinkled face eyed the dark metal. Grim, somber eyes slowly followed it down, peering into the abyss.

"You fool," he muttered as he stared into darkness. "Look at what you've gotten yourself into."

With that, he jumped into the black abyss below.

His fall was not a free one. His descent was controlled and slow. Air blew past him freely as he followed the tightly pulled chain to the source. As he descended, he occasionally mumbled. "Got away," and "was alive," were two popular choices of heated combinations of words.

Eventually he landed at the bottom of the pit

Seven feet above him, dangling from the end of the chains, tied around his neck, was Graupner Kinley.

"You damn fool," Omir growled and approached the body. He reached into his sleeve and withdrew his long white staff. Then, with a quick jab, he angrily poked Graupner Kinley.

"OW!"

Omir planted the staff next to him. "You idiot!" he shouted to Graupner.

The Warlock opened his now single eye, as his other eye socket had a missing feature. "What?" the Warlock demanded. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Define _alive_!" Omir roared at him as Graupner struggled to lift his arm up and pull on the chain, desperate to free himself. "You're animate, but alive?"

"Well, I feel fine," Graupner stated, and finally freed himself from the chains.

"They always have, you damned idiot," the Sorcerer grumbled.

"Whatever," the Warlock snorted, and then a hand in front of his face. "Shoot. Lost depth perception. Whatever, I can fix that later," he shrugged, and tore off a part of his sleeve, and wrapped it around his left eye-socket. He found his master towering above him, glaring down at the seemingly alive apprentice. "What?! Aren't you impressed?!"

"Slightly," Omir admitted, "in the manner that I can be impressed with a serial killer." He paused as Graupner dusted himself off. He added, "How did you discover the Lich secrets?"

Graupner Kinley, the Warlock, chuckled. "I made a deal with the right person. Trade one thing for another. The kid's research was more helpful than he realized. Now look at what I am."

Omir swore quietly. _"What_ you have become is an abomination."

"Like I care," Graupner shrugged. "I'm always a monster to someone. Mom, dad, you- whatever," the Warlock then kneeled, lowering himself to one leg. "Now... shall i continued to serve and learn from you, my master?"

The Sorcerer, Omir Steindorf, stared down at the blond figure. With a mere touch against the greasy hair, he nodded. "Yes."

"Then," Graupner stood, and grinned a horrible, excited leer, "what are my orders?"


	59. Broken Earth: Part 1

As the rains had begun to die nearly an hour earlier, the sun had already begun to rise. The clouds no longer fully blanketed the sky as a grey cover to the heavens. Glows of orange, crimson, and gold speckled atmosphere and endless horizon above the trees. The dark forests of Gravity Falls remained in a quiet hush; a strange occurrence for such a usually loud series of woods.

To a pair of figures on front porch of the Mystery Manor, the beauty of the sunrise was lost on them.

Mabel and Wendy had been up all night. What had begun as a simple search for Dipper had become a frantic scramble. At first Mabel had assumed he would be in a corner, trying to hide his shame, and Wendy insisted they approach him gently. After an hour of searching and no luck, they soon abandoned that hope to blatantly yelling for his name. At this point, Soos joined in too, wearily calling about.

They had gone looking for Stan as well, but were unable to find him at first. When Soos suggested the one place no one was supposed to go anymore, they found the code for the vending machine secret door changed. For a while they wondered if Dipper was down below, working with Stan on something. Eventually Mabel found the closest whole outside in the mud by the side of the building, and did her best to eavesdrop. She did hear Grunkle Stan, but he seemed to speak to himself. After Mabel heard a straight minute of Stanley wondering aloud why people around him seem to suffer, she called it quits- Dipper would not sit through all that silently, and she had no intention to listen to any more of that. She didn't need to cry any more.

So in the end, the three of them, Soos, Wendy, and Mabel, all ran about the Mystery Manor, looking for Dipper. Hours passed as they checked in closets and spaces under floorboards. Their luck was consistent- a solid nothing. Finally Mabel considered the chance, after Wendy mentioned that the last place she saw Dipper was outside, the brat could have run into the woods.

Mabel made to quickly run out into the darkness, but the two held her back. The last times they had done this, particularly with a massive fire breathing dragon, she had come back with almost scarred hands. "Well, it would be perfect! Dipper and I could relate on that then!" she had shouted back. Yet Wendy assured her- she would quickly do a perimeter scan, but demanded the other two stay back.

That quick search had found them nothing. Wendy had done it twice before Mabel and Soos tagged along. That had been hours ago- in the dark of the early morning. Now it was the coming of the dawn, and only Wendy had kept her eyes wide open. She leaned on the overhang support on the porch, peering out into the woods with a furrowed brow, worriedly scanning the land before her.

Soos and Mabel had fallen asleep, leaning on each other. Wendy occasionally turned for a full minute and just watched them breathe, aware that she could not do such a thing. If it was envy or jealousy, she kept her feelings buried deep inside. It was one of these moments as she turned back and checked on her two friends when Mabel stirred. Wendy flicked her head around, and made her best attempts to normalize her stance.

"Wendy?" Mabel spoke in a hoarse, shaken voice.

"It's just morning," Wendy said quietly. "Sun's only just come out."

Mabel glanced to her side sleepily, her head slow and stiff. Soos was unaffected by her movement, and so Mabel stood. Everything she did seemed delayed and tightened. She yawned, her stretch not gone unnoticed. Wendy turned and sighed.

"I wish I could do that naturally," Wendy hummed quietly.

"Huh?" Mabel asked, blinking away tired tears in her eyes.

"Nothing," Wendy shook her head with a small smile. "How are you?"

"Where's Dipper?" Mabel asked after a pause to look around. "Is he back yet?"

Wendy turned away and stared at the woods. "No," she announced with a harsh tone. Mabel stepped next to her, scratching her hair as she looked around the misty morning. "Mabel," Wendy gulped and spoke, "what if... when I last saw Dipper, him and I kind of got into a little fight. Do you think-"

"Wendy, it's okay," Mabel patted the girls shoulder, "I bet you he's just being dumb and stuff. Nothing serious..." Mabel trailed off, staring into the blurring shapes of the gentle mists. At any moment Dipper could run out of those clouds of water vapor.

"He wanted to tell me how bad he felt," Wendy mumbled, turning to lean her entire back on the column. "He just wanted to vent. He needed something to blow up on, and I... I just didn't want to let him."

Mabel watched as Wendy held her hands on her face, pulling back and off her hat. Red hair fell past her face, and Mabel was reminded of how frightening Wendy looked when her face was obscured by red. "What... why?" Mabel asked.

"Because I've suffered," Wendy grumbled and bounced her head back, knocking it against the column with a dull thud. "Because I was too strung up with my own issues to realize that I could have comforted him instead of telling him he had it easier," she growled and let her deep-shadowed eyes look around, trying to find a spot to focus.

"Wendy," Mabel cooed. These feelings from the redhead were still new to Mabel. Hearing them again, after their surfacing from Summerween, was a stark reminder to the truth of Wendy's existence.

"I could have been there for him," she sat down, squatting on the cold, wet porch, "when he really needed someone to be, and I was too kept up in my own pain to do anything except try to scold him. The heck is with that?" she asked, shaking her head.

From the forest, a quick chuckle made both girls spin. "Well, I was kind of asking for it."

"Dipper!"

The shout shocked Soos to awaken and stiffen like a board before falling off the couch. Mabel and Wendy raced out to find Dipper, who walked over to them, beaming. Before Dipper could say another thing though, a strong hand slapped across his face.

"OW! MABEL!? WHAT THE HECK!?" he demanded, stumbling back a moment to reel from the force.

"You absolute _jerk_!" Mabel frothed, and Dipper blinked before taking another step back. "You could have said something before you decided to take a walk-about in the second most dangerous place in the world, after Australia!"

"Uhh," Dipper gave her comment a second thought, but decided to move past it, "well, sorry. I... didn't really know how long I was out until I started coming back."

"What?" Mabel pushed him, "you were having that much fun kicking around wet trees?!"

"Being kicked around, actually," Dipper shrugged. When Mabel made to speak, he quickly turned to Wendy. "I'm so sorry. I was angry, but that doesn't mean you deserved to be the butt of it all."

"Eh," Wendy shrugged, her smile fighting to remain small and polite, "you're good dude-" Dipper rushed forward and wrapped his arms around her. With a small gasp as she felt his arms around her, she let her smile fall apart into a great big grin. "Apology accepted. I'm sorry too, man."

"Don't be," Dipper said as he moved back, smiling to her. "You had the right to have said a ton more, but... you didn't," Dipper grinned.

"Well, what's drama going to do to help anything?" Wendy chuckled. The two held each other in their gazes, a long moment even longer to the two of them. As the sun rose between them, Mabel stepped aside, biting down on her teeth as she silently shook her arms with excitement. She wanted to start running around in circles while screaming, as she had done earlier that night. All they had to do was go in for the seal.

The two budged an inch closer to one another...

"DUDE!"

Soos barreled over and scooped up Dipper in his arms, nearly knocking over Wendy in the process. Spinning Dipper in the air, he cried. "Oh my god dude! We were so worried about you! Like, on a scale of one to the end of the world, which is like a ten, we were at a solid nine!"

"SOOS!" Mabel yelled, furious at her possible memory ruined. Soos whipped to Mabel as he accidentally dropped Dipper.

"What dude?" Soos asked.

"They were having a moment!" Mabel cried aloud. Dipper and Wendy quickly shared a look, and glanced away, warm in the face. "See?!" Mabel said, waving a hand to the two of them, and scolded Soos, "they were doing stuff!"

"Oh. Sorry about that," Soos spun back to Dipper, who was pushing himself off the dirt, "didn't, uh, you know-"

"It's okay," Dipper smiled and nodded, wiping away the more recent mud on his clothes.

"Wait, Dipper," Wendy suddenly approached. The three paused as the redhead reached out and grasped Dipper. She was close to him now, her face stunned and clear of blush. She then reached down and clutched his arms as she looked to them. "Your arms!"

Soos and Mabel also looked, and then gasped. Dipper lifted his other, free arm, and smiled as he displayed the lack of bandages and scars. Mabel and Soos rushed to him, and also examined the skin.

"Smooth!" Soos stated in awe, "like a newborn's face!"

"While a little weird, he's right," Wendy said, shaking her head as she locked eyes with Dipper. "How?"

Dipper smiled, happier than anything they would be able to hear about this. "I know it's crazy, but I ran into the Guardsman. In the woods. I guess... oh wow, it's morning," Dipper suddenly spotted the first rays of the sun.

"Dipper, focus," Mabel demanded.

"Right, sorry. Oh man, I'll never hear that again," Dipper shuddered as he heard Mabel say something only he thought he'd ever say to her. "I ran into the Guardsman last night and... well... he helped me."

"He helped you?" Soos asked, "wow, mystic, warrior, and healer all in one!"

"I mean, he kind of beat me around the woods to use his powers, but look!" he gasped as he moved his hands perfectly, "no wounds! Nothing! They feel perfectly fine!"

"They look perfectly fine!" Mabel said and gave him her own big hug. Dipper gave in and laughed with her giggles.

"But there aren't even scars on you," Wendy said quietly, watching the hands adamantly, "that means... it's powerful magic or something."

"The Guardsman also is the creator of the paths," Dipper stated with authority. Mabel's mouth dropped as she stepped away from him. "Yeah, I know!" Dipper nodded to her, "he says that the four paths, when brought together, can act as a tool for life, and heal and stuff!" The three stared at him, now all with their mouths hanging open. "Don't you realize what this means, though?" Dipper asked them, his own smile growing wider and wider.

"Yuki," Mabel whispered.

"Yes!" Dipper shook her shoulders, "yes! If we can convince him to help us, or bring Yuki to him, he could be healed!"

"This is amazing!" Soos shouted, "I'm so pumped I could just run in and tell mister Pines!"

"Where is Stan?" Dipper asked as he glanced around. "Inside?"

"Probably just waking up or whatever," Mabel grumbled, "he's being dumb."

"Huh?" Dipper asked. The darkened look on the three caused a trickle of worry to spread from his brain into his spine, and Dipper shifted in his stance. "What happened?"

"Well," Mabel started, giving herself a long sigh. "He got..." she paused, the rumbling down the road giving her pause. She leaned her head around Dipper's shoulder, scanning the dirt path past him. He too turned, and the four diverted their attention to a rapidly approaching shape- an expensive car.

A polished black sports car revved its engines as it climbed up the closest hill, leaving pebbles it its place as it's four powerful wheels spat them into the air behind them. Dipper and Mabel both blinked as they quickly recognized the car. Only one person in gravity falls had enough money to afford that car _and_ was willing to visit the Mystery Manor.

As the car slid to a stop some fifty feet away, the engines purred to a stop, the door lifted up, and a tall, blond figure stepped out. Zander Maximillion stretched quickly and hastily, not bothering to close the door behind him as he turned and approached the four. As the twins took a step forward, they felt a sudden wash of hesitancy about Zander. He wasn't wearing that tradmark smile of his. His black jacket and starry-like scarf wrapped tightly around him as he glared at the shack. Next to his head he held a cell-phone.

"Quickly, yeah. I need it all empty... Well, that's why a crew is being hired and I'm not doing it by myself. Also, the one safe in the room I left open for you guys has fragile. Don't drop it... great... good. Bye." With a press of a screen-based button, he dropped his hand and pocketed his cell-phone. "Hey guys," he quickly said.

"Hey Zander!" Mabel replied with a squeaky voice. Dipper made no reply, instead watching Zander. He seemed tired and worn- dark bags settled under his eyes as he glanced between the four and the Mystery Manor.

"Pacifica here?" he asked them with a gruff voice.

"Yeah, why?" Dipper asked, watching Zander. The rockstar-retiree had a frantic look in his eye.

"I'm here to pick her up," he said as he finally made it before them.

"Wait, why?" Dipper asked.

"What's going on?" Wendy inquired, studying Zander's form as much as Dipper. "You seem tense."

"You'd be if an overly-protective dragon was watching your every move," Zander grumbled, and pointed directly up into the sky. The four leaned back and stared up. True to his word, a purple dragon soared above, circling the Mystery Manor easily, gliding in a predatory circle. "See?" he said, pulling their attention back to them, "I've got an eye on me."

"Why? I thought Magenta was cool with you," Mabel asked. Zander rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Guess not," the rockstar stated. "So, Pacifica's here, right?" he asked yet again. When the four said nothing, instead watching him, he sighed. "What?"

"What's going on?" Dipper asked as Wendy had. "You're acting weird."

"No he's not!" Mabel laughed and nudged Dipper.

"Yeah he is," Wendy agreed, giving a firm nod.

Mabel chuckled, her body stiffening as Wendy frowned and stared at the rockstar, who's face did not change to the two accusations. Mabel looked to Soos. "He's acting normal, right?" she asked pleadingly. Soos gave himself a second to think, and displayed a flat hand, which he shook.

"Not a steady yes or no there, hambone," Soos said.

"Uh, oh," Mabel gulped, realizing that she was vastly outnumbered in defending Zander, "well, I'm sure he's got a perfectly good reason for-"

"I'm in a rush, sorry," Zander stated as he suddenly stormed by the four, making quick, long steps towards the side door.

"Well," Dipper said, following Zander as he hastily side-stepped, "you can tell us what's going on while you rush."

Zander glanced to Dipper, and then to the others, who followed in his wake. Behind them a loud crash and tremble of earth gave pause to the group of five. Purple, pink, and violet scales colored the large reptilian beast as it shifted in it's landing, watching Zander with focused, honed eyes. "We're on it," Zander told the dragon. Magenta, in turn, snorted a small blast of smoke from her nostrils. "I'm here to take Pacifica home," he told the four as he continued to approach the building.

"You still haven't said why yet," Wendy reminded him.

Zander spun around, and spoke while walking backwards. "Because now I'm supposedly kidnapping Pacifica. They somehow convinced Magenta to find me and bring their girl back. So, unless I want the cops jailing me for a crime I didn't commit-"

"They think you kidnapped her?" Soos gasped. "But she's been with us!"

"Could have used a phone call about that," Zander growled as he spun around again, "and I don't have the time to linger and explain my side of the story."

"So that's not even the rush?" Wendy said as Zander made it to the door and pried it open, striding inside with vigor. "You would have thought that a dragon breathing down your neck would make you kind of speedy."

"Well it's not helping," Zander stated as he passed the darkened gift shop, ignoring the closed sign on the window. At the end of the room, a series of footsteps announced a sleepy-looking older man in a dirty robe.

"Huh? Who's-" Grunkle Stan blinked and adjusted his glasses as Zander approached. "Maximillion? Sir!" Grunkle Stan did a double take, looking about in the gift shop as the millionaire came forward. "I, uh, I know I promised to have the plans for the donations up by the end of the month, but-"

"I don't care," Zaander quickly cut off the old man. "Keep the donations. I don't need you to tell me what you'll do with them. Just tell me where Pacifica is," he stated as he stood before the old man, several inches higher. Grunkle Stan blinked, his ears adjusting to the new tone of the celebrity. Clearly the accusatory voice was alien to the con-man too, because he leaned over and looked to the four behind him.

"Did you guys harass him or something before he came in?" he asked worriedly.

"He says he's in a rush, but who wouldn't be with a dragon on their tail," Mabel quickly said with a shy smile.

"He's also not telling us everything," Dipper said.

Stan looked back to Zander, his sleepy eyes hardening as he focused onto the millionaire. "Well, you want to take the Northwest brat out or whatever? Fine, to your right," he nudged his head. Dipper and Wendy gasped and glared to Stan as Zander moved quickly down the hall.

"You're just letting him?" Dipper demanded of Stan, walking up to replace Zander's position as the rockstar left them.

"Sorry, did I miss the memo where everyone started mistrusting the second richest man in town?" Stan asked, crossing his arms, "and besides, Pacifica isn't on my list of essentials."

"We started distrusting him the instant he started acting weird!" Dipper shouted as he, Soos, and Wendy rushed down the hall.

"They're just being overly-cautious," Mabel said with a weak smile, following the others.

Ahead, Zander made it to the door, and shoved it open. "Pacifica!" he shouted as he stepped into the shadowed room. Dipper made it just in time to see Pacifica shoot up from her slump over, her hair in knots and tangles. She had clearly been there since the previous night.

"Z-Zander?" she asked, rubbing her face, covered in tear-ruined make-up. She glanced to Dipper, her eyes adjusting against the stark light from the hallway windows. "What are you doing here?"

Dipper looked to Zander, who had yet to speak, or even move after opening the door. His face had again changed. No longer was he drawn by a haste or desperation. Instead he was sullen, staring at the wrapped up, motionless man in the bed. Having trained himself to study the art of poker-faces, Dipper was certain he was looking at a master. Zander's eyes bled emotion and thought that his face refused to show. Zander finally looked to Dipper, who felt an urge to glance away. Then the rock-star spoke up.

"You need to come home," Zander told her with a half-grin.

Pacifica snorted, and then leaned forward, resting her head on Yuki. "No."

The strength in Pacifica's words even shook Dipper. Zander adjusted in his stance, clearing his throat as Dipper gulped. "Pacifica, please. I need you to go home to your parents."

"I'm not leaving."

"Pacifica-"

Zander's voice cut off as Pacifica lifted her head in a snap, glaring at Zander. More tears fell down her eyes. "I'm not leaving him. Never. One day he'll wake up, and he'll make me feel like I'm worth something again. Until then, tell my parents that if they want me, they can find me here."

Zander closed his eyes, looking to the ceiling. "Magenta is worried about you."

"Tell her I'm fine," she growled back.

"Yeah, she's good," Dipper said, stepping in between Zander and Pacifica.

"C'mon guys," Mabel then squeezed past Soos and Wendy, who stood behind Zander, "can't we just talk about this for-"

"No," a terrible, cold voice said, coming from the musician.

Pacifica lifted her head, her mouth open. Zander now matched her glare, a power in his eyes that defied his own being. The twins turned and faced the wrath of the rock star, only aware at suddenly how scary he looked when he was angry. Those green eyes of his had a sickly viciousness that dared to be tempted. As if aware of their fear, he closed his eyes once again, and rubbed his face.

"Pacifica, if you don't come home, your parents are going to send me to jail because they think I'm stealing you for myself," he grumbled.

"Well, she'd be lucky, wouldn't she?" Mabel pointed out with a small laugh. Zander said nothing, causing Mabel to falter. "Zander-"

"Sorry Mabel," Zander said, looking to Mabel, "I know you look up to me. But I need to get her out now." And with that, he strode past the twins, and grasped Pacifica's shoulders, lifting her to her feet.

"What the hell!?" Pacifica shouted as she struggled to leave Zanders arms.

"Hey, get off her!" Wendy shouted, rushing into the room. Pacifica was no longer forcefully being grabbed, but with Zander behind her, her eyes desperately fanned around.

"Guys, kick him out, or something!" she demanded, "I'm not ready to go!" A hand pressed again onto her shoulder, and Pacifica was walked around the bed. Zander guided he away, and Pacifica turned, staring at the silent man. "Yuki! Wait!" she begged of Zander. "I want to say goodbye! Please!? Just one more time!"

Shoving by Wendy and Soos, and then squeezing by a stunned Stan, who looked appalled at what he was seeing, Zander shoved a defeated Pacifica as she entered hysterics. Dipper and Mabel rapidly gave chase. By the time they made it to the gift shop, Dipper again blocked them.

"You at least can tell us what's making you act like a jerk suddenly!" Dipper said, tring his best to barricade the exit. Zander made a particularly good dodge, and drove Pacifica around him in one direction as he stepped to the other side. "Seriously!?" he shouted, and followed with his sister after them.

"Zander, what gives?!" Mabel said, rushing forward to grab Pacificas hand. As she did, twisting the blond away from Zander, the musician stopped, facing his car. Magenta the dragon stared at the group with concern, her great, slit eyes widening with worry as she spotted Pacifica in tears.

"I'm leaving this town," Zander quietly said.

"What?" Mabel asked, holding a sobbing Pacifica in her arms.

"Gravity Falls," Zander said, turning to face the twins, and the three others behind them- Soos, Wendy, and Stan as they caught up, "I'm leaving this town."

"But... but why?!" Mabel demanded.

"Really? You need to ask me why?" Zander laughed, leaning into the five. He laughed and shook his head. "I came to this town to find mysteries and fables."

"And what, you found none of that?" Dipper demanded, pointing to Wendy, "she's a freaking myth for crying out loud! Did you know she's not a-"

"A wraith," Zander said, rolling his eyes.

Dipper and Wendy blinked. The red-head slowly took a step forward. "Y-you knew?"

"Putting one and two together isn't that hard," Zander barked at them, "I mean, she's not transparent or ever floating, I've touched her physically and I've seen her react to physical stimulus, so she's not a ghost. But since people at the reacted to her the way she did, she clearly still had to be some sort of undead. No rot or mort flesh? Rules out Zombie or Ghoul," Zander said, crossing his arms across his chest.

Dipper was stunned. What Zander had said was effectively weeks of his research in under one paragraph. "How... how did you-"

"I sing about these sort of things, guys," Zander growled, "I've got a lot of research to do. Anyway, I needed to find the lost stories of earth! The mysteries that make humans connected with the planet! Not... gnomes and gender-changing crystals!" Zander puffed, running a hand through his long, blond hair, "and," his eyes focused as a set of steps gently creaked wood from behind the group, "I've been getting fed up with all the interrogations."

"We haven't interrogated you!" Mabel protested worriedly, "we're concerned! You're acting really weird, and we-"

"Not you guys!" Zander rolled his eyes and pointed to the porch. "Her."

The five turned. Arline stood there, fully clothed. Standing at the corner of the porch which lead to the motel rooms, the woman was agape at the looks she was getting. From Mabel's quick glare as she turned away, to Stan and Soos's confusion, and Dipper and Wendy's intense study, she was overwhelmed.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Zander's taking Pacifica home," Soos quickly stated, "or at least he's trying to. You know, he's been acting a little weird and out of character, so we're still trying to figure that part out-"

"You!" Arline stepped off the porch, around the group as she pointed to Zander, "I warned you to stay away from the kids."

"Yeah? Good, I'm not here to mess with them," Zander growled as he cracked his neck, glaring into her eyes as she got into his face. She was inches from him now, a new barricade for him to deal with.

"Uh, can we not 'actually' fight please?" Mabel pleaded, patting Pacifica's calming figure.

"Depends. You leaving, Zander?" Arline demanded.

Zander's lip curled, and he leaned his head back. "I dunno. Are we leaving without Pacifica, Magenta?" Zander asked the dragon. The beast let out a horrible, threatening growl that shook the earth itself. Arline's eyes flickered to the dragon, and back to Zander. "I think she said no," Zander snarled.

"Wait, wait," Dipper stepped between the two of them, "since when did you two talk while we weren't around?" he asked. Arline looked to Dipper, her eyes softening. Zander, however, nodded and grinned.

Arline quickly spoke up. "Dipper, I can talk to lots of people without you near, you know," she stated hastily.

"Sure," Zander nodded, "because what you did to me was just 'a talk'," he muttered.

"Wait, what does he mean by that?" Dipper demanded of Arline.

"Dipper, please let me-" Arline started, but Zander again cut in.

"Oh, so I get shoved around by big bad lady on the block, but he'll speak out against you, and you just... let him," Zander snorted, "sounds fair."

"I have my _orders_," Arline snarled into his face, her breath steaming his skin, "I am going to keep him, his sister, and everyone they consider friends and family _safe_." Zander's eyes flashed as he sported a small smile. Arline's eye twitched. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said, looking away and shaking his head. "So, how about we cut this short and make a deal? You let me escort Pacifica home where she is being summoned, and I don't let big bad dragon in purple here tear you a new one?" Zander suggested.

Arline once again studied the dragon. Magenta had leaned slightly closer, some ten feet behind Zander, her imposing and massive presence not unnoticed. Mabel spoke up quickly.

"But Magenta wont hurt anyone," Mabel pleasantly reminded them. "We're not hurting Pacifica, so no fuss!"

"Tell that to the dragon," Zander said quietly to Mabel. Mabel's strength in her understanding of the beast faltered, and she too stared worriedly at the dragon. "So, Arline? You going to actually do what's best for your mission and let me take Pacifica?" he asked.

Arline's hand flashed up. In the blink of an eye, she had moved her left hand from the side of her body to be in Zander's face, pointing at him between his eyes. In a low voice, she said, "don't push your luck. I already think you're dangerous. I said-"

"Why not ask Pacifica?" another, long quiet person said. Arline's hand faltered as she turned. Mabel and Dipper did as well, looking to Soos, who had stepped away from Stan. He rung his hands worriedly as he looked around. "I mean, look, I know this is all important and stuff that's waaay over my head," he gave a small nervous chuckle, "but shouldn't Pacifica get a say in this? It's all about her."

Pacifica turned and stared at the large man with wide, stunned eyes. There hadn't been such a change in opinion towards any one single human being as momentous as the one in Pacifica's mind. Mabel grinned wide and proud as Dipper nodded, grinned. Wendy smiled and stepped to Pacifica. "I like the sound of that. So, how about it?" she asked, standing next to the still stunned blonde. "Stay or go?"

Scared, make-up stained eyes stared around. Pacifica had looked lost before, but not quite as helplessly as then. All awaited her words with baited breath, except for Grunkle Stan, who propped up an eyebrow as he folded his arms. It was finally a grin and nod from Dipper and a wink from Mabel that caused the ash-covered girl to close her eyes and speak. Quietly, she said to Mabel, "I'll be back. I'm now in with this fight more than ever," she said with her eyes closed.

"Wouldn't dream of denying you," Mabel agreed.

"Then I'm going," Pacifica shifted her hair and walked forward, passing by Arline with a stride more to her style. As Zander watched her, she stared back. After a moment, she whipped back to the twins, and said defiantly, "I'm going to make these bastards pay for what they did to him."

"We can start by ruining their plans and exposing them for the monsters they really are," Dipper nodded.

"I'll meet up with you guys later. We have some planning to do," Pacifica said, and turned, her blond hair whipping behind her as she made for the dragon. Zander's stern face softened, and he smiled. The peace was with a bitter edge however, as Arline still remained the blockade for Zander.

"So, before I go," Zander said, now directly to Arline, "I'll take my papers you stole back."

"I-I didn't-" she stammered, but Zander scoffed. Gritting her teeth, and clearly suffering from a horrible deep red blush, she reached into her jacket, and removed a crumpled up folder. With enough force to nearly knock him over, she slammed the pages into his chest. Stumbled back, Zander began to quickly flip through a series of official looking transcripts. "They're all in there. In the one day I had them, I didn't have a chance to steal anything."

"What are those?" Mabel asked, yet Stan piped up, looking at the papers with interest.

"That's FBI papers!" he declared as he pointed, "identity and stuff!"

"You have other identities?" Mabel asked to Zander, her voice shaken. Zander slapped the pages together and gave Arline a quick scan, surely checking to see if there wasn't a sign of mistrust. When he found none, he gave each other others a quick nod, and then turned. "Wait, Zander," Mabel rushed forward. A hand from Arline gently tried holding her back, but Mabel shoved it aside. "Don't touch me now!" she shouted at Arline with a furious point.

"Mabel, I had reason to-" Arline tried, her own tone shaken, stunned at Mabel's fury.

"Shut up! I want to hear them for myself!" Mabel said, keeping in pace with Zander. She turned to the musician. "Why did she take those papers from you?

"Because she thought I was someone I'm not," he said grumpily as he passed by the dragon and Pacifica, who stared was patting and soothing the dragon's worries with gentle rubs along the base of the dragon's neck.

"Why? Are you?" Mabel asked, stepping in front of Zander. Stopped by yet another girl, Zander sighed and shook his head.

"Mabel, I'm me. Who I am to you could be different to what anyone else thinks of me," he said, "and I like making sure that people don't think bad of me... but I'm done right now with dealing with other people's problems, and being pushed around," he grumbled, and tried side-stepping Mabel. She stepped with him.

"Zander, please," Mabel asked, her lips pursing as she begged, "just tell me what's really going on."

Zander stepped back. His eyes closed and his brow furrowed he stayed silent for a moment. Without opening them, he said to her, "you should stay back; according to your master I'm a dangerous man."

"Well I'm not listening to her right now!" Mabel shouted. Her voice carried over and struck Arline in the same manner that a punch might have. Arline stepped back, her eyes closed as her face tightened and she walked away, a hand at her brow. "I'm listening to you. You always have something important to say!" Mabel told him with a small smile, "you're always being so wise and stuff! Why can't you trust m- uh, us?"

Mabel gulped at the end of her sentence. She had come a little to close to speaking from the fullest depths of her heart. Times may come later for her to reveal her affections to such a god among men, but this was already a weird and stupid situation to her. She needed to answers first, and the make-up later.

"Okay. I'm rushing because I have a truck with all my stuff packed up and ready to go the moment I get the okay from Pacifica's parents," Zander announced.

Mabel's hope plummeted along with her jaw. "You're... leaving right _now_ now?"

"_Now_ now," Zander repeated.

"If you have a truck," Mabel listed, "you've packed already."

"Yeah," Zander nodded, slowly stepping around the stunned girl.

"Which means you've had the time to pack," Mabel again noted.

"Correct again," Zander said, now almost to his car.

"Which means you've... been thinking about this," Mabel said, and turned to Zander, her eyes shimmering, "you've wanted to leave for some time!"

Zander paused, now next to his car. Zander signed and nodded as he placed a hand to the perfect polish and held himself up by it. "Yeah," he said once more.

"But you said you _wanted_ this all!" Mabel declared desperately.

"Wanted death!?" Zander exclaimed, "no! I wanted _life_!" he said in exasperation. "I seek stories that are uplifting and courageous and powerful to tell, not crushing and hopeless!" he pointed to the Mystery Manor, "and sure, you guys have been able to scramble by each time, but the town took hits this time! People _died_!" Zander shouted. "People are losing hope and falling into despair! This isn't a story I want to tell!" he said, and he rushed into his seat.

Mabel watched him, her eyes glazed over. "You... you gave up on me?" she asked.

As the car engine turned on, Zander relaxed and looked back, his own eyes tired and exhausted looking. "It's never that simple, Mabel. There are always elements of hope in a story, but the bottom line is that there are more problems now than there are solutions. I'm... sorry," he said, and lifted his hand out for the car door.

Her hand reached out instinctively. A base part of her soul refused to let him go on such an apology. With a loud groan, she pulled the door back open, glaring at Zander in his eyes. Her brown orbs dared his green to look away, yet he did not.

"I've looked up to you the moment I saw you," she said firmly. "Everything you did and said was art to me; _is_ art to me. I wanted more than anything for you to see in me the kinds of things you see in the world that make you want to sing with that angelic voice of yours!" she said, and shoved the door fully aside, "but look at you! Running away?" she said, shouting at him, "you've only been here for one summer! You don't know what real despair is!"

Zander stared at her unblinkingly. Mabel could only continue, her own building feelings feeding into one and then the next..

"When your family is torn apart because of monsters, and you know you'll never see them again," Mabel pointed at her friends, brother, and great uncle behind her, "and you still get by because you remember what you saved? That's _real_ strength!" she paused, breathing loudly as he body shook with anger. It was a strange day- that she thought she would ever shout and yell at Zander Maximillion like this was beyond belief.

Zander finally blinked, and then spoke. "So, you think you're stronger than me?" he asked, his voice quiet.

Mabel cringed and groaned. "No!" she angrily said and looked behind her, seeing the worried faces of those watching and listening. "Us together," she said with a quieter voice, her throat trembling a moment as she saw her brother's worried watch, "that's real strength. When we still lose and we lose bad, but we get back up and keep going," Mabel said, turning to Zander, "and we always... just... don't quit on our friends."

Mabel found her real point to him. Strength, while true, was less impressive than the grit that people she was fond of had. The capacity to bear along with all the pains and bumps in the road, as she and Dipper had done over three years of being in a broken family. In the end, she saw that as a great test to courage. Why now, of all times, she saw a flicker of doubt in the one source of great inspiration and attraction she had in a long time, was beyond her.

"Mabel," Zander said, his eyes faltered as he finally peeled away.

"Zander," Mabe's voice remained firm, yet fell away from the hard convictions she had used previously, "come on. You're so much better than just running away from places and people when things don't go right. Like back in the woods with Midian," Mabel said, a smile returning to her face, "you stood with us until we all got out, not just you."

That warmth returned to Mabel as Zander's eyes flashed and his sealed lips slid open gently. Comprehension flowed in him surely, and Mabel pressed her chance.

"You stopped Dipper and Robbie from fighting and helped them get over each other," Mabel continued, "You helped Dipper and me get our heads back on right and tight, and, and..." she again held back, her heart a flutter as the words 'made me fall crazy deep for you' were withheld in her own interests, "and you got Dipper and me out when the caves exploded. You didn't quit then," she reminded him. "Zander," she said with a great grin, "I know you more than you think."

Zander stared at her. Mabel's words clearly had effected him, and yet her last words had a strange effect on him. The shine in his eyes, as Mabel stared into his green orbs, faded away. He then smiled a sad smile and shook his head.

"I'm a musician. It's been my job to inspire people, Mabel," Zander said with a lopsided, sad grin as he stared at the car windowshield, at the listening group. "I've always been good at getting people to do things because I thought they were good. But... that's all," he said, turning back to Mabel. "I'm not a hero. I've never been a hero. I've always been more of a coward than anything else," he told her with a near whisper.

"But you-"

"I'm sorry Mabel," he said, and reached out for the door, "you just don't know me as well as you think. Goodbye," he said, and closed the door before her.

That was what it had added up to, Mabel thought as the shiny black car reversed itself away from Mabel, gently spilling pebbles along her sneakers and legs. Her heart, laid bare and exposed for someone to understand, had again been left alone and unnoticed. Zander fled in his car, and Mabel watched with a numbness that could only be considered pain. She felt deep pain for the betrayal of her trust.

Next to her, Pacifica turned and leapt up to her dragon. "Sorry, Mabel," she said, a sincerity in her voice that would otherwise have touched Mabel. Yet in the numbness, Mabel only barely looked to the blonde, her eyes glazed over. "I'll be back soon," Pacifica told the others, and then gave her two legs a strong kick.

Magenta the dragon lifted off, billowing more dust and dirt into the air. Not that Mabel could care. Something inside her had broken. Who else could she fall to and be caught? Zander would run. He had shown his capacity for a tight spot by using his money and running.

Then Mabel turned, remembering someone else she once thought she could trust. As the purple scaled reptile flew overhead, Mabel balled her fists and marched towards the group. The four before her stepped aside, perhaps fearful of being burned by the fire blazing so terribly in her eyes. Dipper, Wendy, Soos, and Stan all parted, leaving Mabel to find a seated woman on the porch, her head bent over against her knees.

"What did you do?!" Mabel said, her voice gritted through teeth.

Arline looked up to Mabel. With a gulp as she licked her lips, she shrugged and said, "what I thought was best for you."

"You made him _hate_ us!" Mabel shouted.

"Hate me," Arline corrected.

"Who cares!" Mabel roared, "he ran off now! That was a super-helpful-mega-cool dude who just ran away because he said he was tired of being pushed around!" she spat into the air, heating the very space between her and Arline with her voice. "What is your problem!?"

"Mabel," Arline leaned forward, her eyes shimmering, "I know he's cool, okay? But I'm telling you, ever since I met him-"

"Another secret, great," Mabel growled.

"Ever since I met him," Arline closed her eyes, pressing her lids together as she let Mabel talk over her, "something about how he spoke bothered me! It was like I had known him from my past! So, with Steindorf in town, and... look," she said, leaning forward towards Mabel, "I looked him up. His records, all of them, are fake. They're in the government websites, but anyone with enough know-how on dating and proper identification can tell they're not real! None of the dates created had any actual backing, and when I lined them up-"

"That's because he had some crazy witness protection stuff that _you_ stole!" Mabel proclaimed defiantly, pointing at Arline with a dire rage.

"Mabel-"

"You lied to us about Omir _and_ Zander!" Mabel shouted. "If you trusted us, why didn't you tell us you thought something!?"

Arline stuttered and stammbered. "Well, I-I-I just wanted... I needed to make sure I wasn't just going crazy! I wanted to make sure there was a reason to me thinking something was going on!" she said, her own words rising in pitch and volume. "And I did!"

"You couldn't trust me, your own apprentice," Mabel said, furious tears falling from her eyes.

"I could- I do!" Arline said, standing, and reaching out with her arm. Mabel shoved the arm away and shouted.

"No! I'm done with people who say they trust me and then walk away like that! I'm done with doing that to people! People who do that are-"

"What?!"

Mabel, startled, spun and faced the newest speaker. A gruff, experienced voice entered the fray as Arline too had begun to cry. Grunkle Stan, still in his robes and sleep-ware stepped up to Mabel. Now between the two ladies, he glared at each of them with worn, tired eyes that matched their former fury.

"It takes a lot for you to look at Arline like that, Mabel!" Stan shouted at his niece, holding his hand out to Arline with example. "You're one to talk!"

"Wh-what do you mean?" she stammered.

"Mabel, of all the people to understand why people hold secrets, don't you think you and your brother should be the ones to be the most understanding!?" Stan said with an incredulous bark. "For Moses' sake! Think about how you must of thought of me!"

Mabel, who's mouth had been open, ready to retort, sealed shut. To his words, she had no response prepared. Her mouth had gone dry, and she looked to the ground. "I... I look up to you too," she said quietly.

"Right!" Stan shouted, nodding in approval, "why?"

"Because no matter what you do," Mabel looked up, "you end up picking the family over anything else."

"And you think she was trying to do anything different?" Stan asked, his voice quieter and softer.

"Whoa," Soos quietly said, nudging Wendy and Dipper, "he's gotten good at that."

"I can hear you, Soos," Stan barked at his employee.

"Awesome!" Soos pumped his hand in success. Stan sighed, and still continued, looking to Mabel as he leaned and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Mabel, I know you're mad. Furious, really. But did I do anything differently?" Stan asked Mabel earnestly, giving her a trying, but warm, stare. Mabel said nothing, her own convictions steadily collapsing. "I know I felt the same way about her as she does about Zander. 'Up to no good', and 'hiding stuff', is what I said," Grunkle Stan stood and turned from Mabel, looking to Arline who quizzically stared back. "You know what though? I wasn't wrong, but I'm disappointed."

Arline bowed her head, her face screwed up into her hands. Mabel spoke up. "Y-you are?"

"Yeah. Talk about a stupid thing to be suspicious over," Stan chuckled, and lifted his hand to Arline. She looked up, wiping away the stains of tears down her face, a wide- shocked look in her eye.

"What?" she asked with a small sniff.

"I think, of all people," Stan said, even turning to look at Dipper and Wendy, "can understand why you hide something to protect others. Secrets are dangerous. Otherwise they wouldn't be secrets; you'd just go tell people about whatever it is. But when you hide something, and you care about people as everyone here really does, they're away from the real problem. They're distant. It's not about makin' a profit or standing up taller than the other goonies. It's about keeping those you care about safe!" he declared.

Soos let out a single gasping sob and removed a handkerchief from his pocket, blowing his nose hard. The others turned to him, staring incredulously. "Sorry, I just... that was beautiful," Soos said, wiping away his own tears.

Stan groaned, but a loud clap next to him gave him pause. As he turned his head, he found a small, but no less strong hand grasping his own. Arline had reached out, and with Stan pulling her up, she rose again.

"I'm not saying I still like you fully," Stan said, poking Arline's shoulder, "but I'm not going to have anyone talk about hiding secrets for protection with me around."

"At least without getting your own word in. I wouldn't have doubted it, Stan," Arline allowed herself a watery smile. As she and Stan's handshake lowered, she closed her eyes and turned towards Mabel, who watched them, just three feet away. "Mabel," Arline practically whispered, "you've grown so much since I've started training with you; so much that you've become able to train your own brother without my help. That's... just amazing," she said with a tiny chuckle.

"...Thanks," Mabel said, refusing to fully look at her.

"I, uh," Arline grasped her injured shoulder as she spoke, and swallowed her throat, "I know that you'll be more than capable in the long run. So, if you wanted, I could let you call me Arline again, instead of master," she suggested, "and you... can follow your own path."

A flash of movement would otherwise have caused panic. Dipper did gasp, seeing as how his sister ran at the woman she once called master. Yet no fist was thrown. Instead, Mabel's shoulder and head slammed into Arline's chest and abdomen. Without words, Mabel clutched her midsection and squeezed tightly.

The golden-haired woman above, who had frozen from the movement smiled and lowered her arms, resting them along Mabel's shoulders. "I'm so sorry," she quietly said.

"Me too," Mabel nodded, and pulled back, looking into the shimmering blue eyes, "I... no, I still want to call you master. Just for a bit longer, anyway," she added with a giggle. Arline too laughed, and pulled Mabel back in for another hug.

"Oi, great," Stan rolled his eyes and held his hands temporarily up to the sky, "glad I was a help. No need to thank me for diffusing the situation or anything."

"I always thank you, Mister Pines," Soos said happily.

"Soos," Stan turned, and looked to the handyman. For a moment he stared, but then sighed. "You're right. Thanks."

Soos, in perhaps a moment so fast and quick, caught the words as Stan turned back to Mabel. Next to Dipper, his knees buckled. He nearly collapsed back and would have, if Dipper and Wendy hadn't gone behind him and hoisted him up. His eyes half open, Soos struggled to sit down, but finally patted them on the shoulders as he was lowered. "I... I need a rest. That was heavy."

"Well," Dipper said, leaving Soos to Wendy as he addressed the crowd, "as crazy as it sounds, this still isn't that bad."

"Huh?" Stan watched him with a confused glare. "You were just listening to everything that just happened right?"

"I was. But look!" he held up his hands, clean and unharmed, to Stan. The old man's mouth fell open. "I found the Guardsman! He can heal wounds like that! Cure curses I bet!" he said "This means that as long as we have the Guardsman on our side, we have a chance!"

"Yeah!" Wendy stepped up, "sure, Zander's chickening out, but we can fix Yuki now!"

"We just need to get him into the woods so the Guardsman can clean him up?" Arline asked, stepping closer to Dipper.

"Sure. He didn't seem to have a problem doing it to me for free," Dipper said with a shrug.

"I doubt it was exactly 'free'," Arline squinted at the woods, a pained knowing in her stare. "Probably beat you up for it or something."

"...oh. Yeah, he did," Dipper nodded. "But I'm okay now!"

"Well, then we need to get going!" Mabel joined them, bounding next to Dipper and Arline, "and since we toasted the baddies hide-out last time, we have a chance to do it!"

"So let's get going!" Dipper declared proudly.

BOOM.

No one had moved. Staying perfectly as they had, the entire group let their hopes slip from their grasps. Slowly turning to the sound, each of the group found themselves looking at the town some miles away. In the sky, a plume of dirt had ricocheted into the sky. Rock and dirt rained down below, and the six already could hear screams.

"Okay... so less time on our hands," Dipper gulped.

"Let's go!" Mabel pushed him aside. Dipper spun, following Mabel as she raced to her bike. A distant past Dipper would have argued to take his car, but the pink motorbike was quicker to go. They needed all the time they could. Whatever was happening needed their attention.

"Wait!"

The twins, already at the bike turned. Stan rushed to them, panic in his eyes. "Last time you did this, I nearly lost one of you!"

"That's because I was being stupid," Dipper shrugged.

"Well, teenagers do a lot of stupid things!" Stan pointed out. "I don't want you doing anything else stupid, like running into town when explosions are going off and people are screaming for their lives!"

"Yeah, that does sound kind of stupid," Mabel said. Dipper turned to her, shocked. Yet she grinned and winked, "in the best way possible."

"Kids, what would I have told your parents if-" A hand fell on his shoulder, and Arline stepped next to him, and walked next to the twins. She lifted from an inside pocket a pair of goggles, and slipped them over her eyes. "Ugh!" Stan roared. "If you're going to go, just... win so hard I don't have to worry about a price to it!"

"You know we'll try," Dipper nodded as he sat behind Mabel, who took the grips.

"I'll keep them safe, Stanford. If not for your, or my boss," Arline said, "than for me."

"You better," Stan said, walking backwards to Wendy and Soos, who too had started running over. "Oh no, you two," Stan said, clutching their shoulders, "you're staying."

"But they-" Wendy started.

"In case whatever is going on spreads, I want you two here to help me fend it off. Besides," Stan grinned as he looked between the twins and Arline, and himself, Wendy, and Soos, "three is the magical number."

Mabel laughed as she turned the ignition to her bike on. "You're such a dork, Grunkle Stan!" she cheered, and then burned rubber as the bike blew away. Down the road the three raced, heading through the trail in the woods.

Their destination? War? Chaos? Destruction and fire?

Only the rising sun could tell, as bright, unrelenting light washed over them all.

* * *

Episode 19, part 1: done.

Three more uploads before the end of Season 2.

So when I originally wrote the draft for this chapter... oh my god, in JANUARY, it was supposed to have the quick drama that fighting and making up always carried with it. Instead, we got... well... damn. But in the end, I'm not displeased. I hope you all enjoyed the talk Zander had, getting his revenge on Arline. I certainly enjoyed seeing this scene come to page. :)

Anyway, see you dudes and dudettes next week. Stay safe, dry, and warm as the weather shifts for colder days to come.

-EZB


	60. Broken Earth: Part 2

The rumble of the earth was now a constant. Was it the bike; striking it's rubber wheel against dirt, gravel, and road as they soared down the road? Was it a stampede of something horrible in their future- yet to be seen? To the twins and their companion, it didn't matter. At this point in time, the explosion could have been a coincidence, and they still needed to be there.

Mabel's grip on the motorcycle was covered in sweat. Her eyes glued ahead as she spied the racing and turning road through the forests, she swallowed her tightening throat. She knew exactly what she had signed herself up for- this wasn't another mystery. This was rescue or a battle. Possibly a big one.

"Dipper?" she called, feeling her ribs being squeezed tightly, "you okay?" He nodded, yet said nothing. "What are you thinking?" she asked him.

"Operation Search and Destroy was supposed to be the big, scary plan that Omir lead up to," Dipper recalled loudly, his voice reaching Mabel and Arline, who leaned slightly out to better listen. "The Warlock and Sorcerer did all this stuff for something- all this secrecy and town sabotage to try scaring people out of town."

"True. What's your thought then?" Arline asked.

"If Omir Steindorf got what he was looking for- discovering the location of the stone or whatever, why attack the town still?" Dipper asked. "The stone is in the woods, so it doesn't make sense to spend more resources to attack people who are already out of his way."

Mabel leaned forward, pushing her weight into the front wheel, urging her mind and body to move faster. She pondered Dipper's reasoning. It was solid, as were most of Dipper's thoughts. Yet... maybe they were overlooking something.

"Maybe because he didn't have everything the way he needed them," Mabel suggested with a glance to Dipper and Arline. "You know, like chess? You can't win right even if you the pieces you need unless you're positioned correctly?" The two stared to Mabel. "What?" she asked, glancing to their awe.

"You hate chess," Dipper said with a small, incredulous chuckle.

"Because that position stuff is dumb!" Mabel grumbled and turned again.

"That's Mabel for you," Arline shook her head, smiling gently. Mabel glanced to the mirror, spotting her master in the back, holding onto the bottom of the seat.

"Are you going to be able to fight?" Mabel asked.

"Me?" Dipper quickly questioned.

"She means me," Arline answered immediately after, and nodded. "I'm down my arm, but the other and the rest of me is... stiff, but functional."

"Just don't push yourself too hard," Dipper said. Mabel watched him turn to her, also adjusting his glasses as wind billowed between the space of his face and his eyes. Arline grinned and nodded.

"I think that's ironic, coming from either of you two," she said, "but I'll manage. Just don't go out and do anything stupid if I can't help you."

"We're not separating any more," Dipper firmly stated. "Learned that lesson the hard way. Don't split the part," he noted aloud.

"Stronghold and Serpents taught us well," Mabel chuckled.

"What's that?" Arline asked. The twins turned and glanced at her. "What?" Arline asked, her eyes widening behind her goggles, "what?!" she asked again when they glanced at each other with a clever smile.

"After this, maybe we'll play," Mabel assured her, and looked forward again. The air in her lungs was forced out as she saw the first signs of town. "Oh no..."

Fire and smoke billowed up into the sky more now than ever. The skies, now filtered with rays of the sun, danced along the lines of apocalyptic with trails of black reaching into the light blue. The two behind her had clearly also seen the sights, as she could make out in her shaking rear mirror the dawning horror on their faces. Even with sunglasses and goggles, their expressions were clear.

Without a second further hesitation, Mabel revved the engine harder, and buckled down. The bike roared and she blasted forward even faster.

Passing by houses along the edge of the highway, the twins saw fear-stricken families racing to their cars, desperately trying to make out what was going on downtown- the epicenter of the smoke and chaos. They occasionally pointed to the trio on the bike. A few more desperate called for them, asking what was happening. One father warned them to not go.

It wouldn't change their minds.

Coming around a turn, the bike lurched and turned as Mabel twisted the handrails. Dipper pulling on her harder than ever and Arline gripping the seat tightly, the three finally saw what was happening.

As had happened the day before, a plant like monster had taken to the streets. It was, however, much, much smaller than the previous they had encountered. While the first had towered over buildings with ease, this one stood at seven feet tall. It was certainly an impressive height, but the twins squinted. Was that all? Behind it, families of people fled from it, racing away from the street. Individuals ran away as well, moving however down different paths.

Arline however chuckled. "Got it," she told them. Behind Dipper, the bike buckled as Arline leapt up and placed her feet on the seat. "Right at him!" she patted Mabel's shoulder, balancing on the bike like a skate board.

"We told you not to over-exert yourself!" Dipper warned her, too afraid to turn around and face her, should his unbalancing of Mabel endanger Arline.

"You kidding me?" she asked with a chuckle as Mabel continued forward, the distance of the unaware werewolf-look-alike closing, "this is just fun!"

The werewolf spun and spotted the coming bike. It snarled just as Mabel ducked down, avoiding a slash from the monster's claws. Dipper too ducked, and yet Arline leapt forward. He knee was first to collide with the body of the monster. With the speed of the bike behind her already formidable kick, Arline easily lifted the plant backwards with a crush of it's chest. Whimpering as it flew backwards, the plant-monstrosity spun against the ground until it struck a caved-in car and stopped, broken and unmoving.

"Hah!" Arline said, landing on her two feet as Mabel spun the bike, her wheels wailing against the pavement.

"Well, she wasn't kidding," Dipper shrugged, jumping off first, "that was easy for her."

"One hit wonder?" Mabel suggested as she pushed herself off and followed Dipper in his wake. "Boom- homerun."

"It's never that easy," he reminded her.

"Maybe it was," Arline heard them talking as she walked over, and the three stared at the broken plant-construct. Deciding if it was dead or not was a hard task, but certainly it was defeated. The 'tongue'- a raveling of many small vines in it's mouth- hung out to it's side like a downed dog. "Still... it lost preeetty easily for something that caused all of... that," Arline pointed to the skies, where more smoke lingered.

"Also," Dipper poked the two of them and held a finger to his lips. Taking his cue, the three listened. Screams and panic still flitted the air.

"The heck? Are there more things?" Mabel turned and glanced down the street.

True to her guess, another creature was chasing a family, snapping and snarling at their heels. Mabel growled and rushed forward, providing little preparation for the two behind her.

If her master could easily snap one of these twig-chasing green twigs, she could too. Her glasses jostling with each step, Mabel raced forward. She could hear Dipper and Arline behind her, running in step. The werewolf-creature ahead had spotted her, and turned, now racing back at her. It wasn't just one anymore though. Four more had appeared from alleyways behind the first monster, and ran at the three.

"I got three!" Arline quickly announced as Mabel yelled her bloody warcry.

"We got two!" Dipper declared, and he quickly made his place next to Mabel.

The first of the werewolf-looking plant monsters jumped at Mabel, ready to draw blood. Two others also leapt, desperate to claw into the three. Mabel made her counter-attack and dove under the leap. As claws scratched at the inches of air above her scalp, she leapt and kicked upward twice.

The first leaping monster found itself struck in the mid-section by two powerful feet. Rather than collect itself or tumble, and fell to the ground in a slump, clawing at the street to pull itself up.

Mabel landed better, and quickly found herself in the brawl. She turned and dodged away from a swipe of claws and then wove under a snap of ferocious jaws. Dipper took the change and dived at the attacker, giving its neck a strong punch. As that one fell aside, Mabel leapt, and joined the assault, her own airborne punch driving the beast to the concrete. While it had been stunned, it shook off the impact, and made to stand.

"Down boy!" Dipper shouted, and snapped out at it's muzzle with a kick. The attack connected, and the dog stilled, defeated. "Hah! Oh that- what?" Dipper spotted Mabel glaring at him.

"I was going to say that," she glowered as she turned and found Arline easily ducking and weaving around three of the werewolf monsters. Even with her shoulder and arm still out of commission, she was more than a match for just three.

"Help?" Dipper suggested as Arline spun in mid-air, kicking two at once with out-stretched legs.

"Nah. I'd rather let her get her fun in now," Mabel shrugged, "so that if real trouble happens, we can pick up."

"Sure," Dipper nodded, and looked around. As his eyes scanned the buildings, many of which still crumbled and without power, he eventually looked back to the fallen plant monster at his feet. "So... what should we call them?"

"Hmm," Mabel said, placing a hand at her chin as she looked to her brother. This kind of question was one that had to be taken seriously. Dipper only ever asked that question when he was going to write more into the journal. "How about... Barkers?"

"Barkers?" Dipper asked his eyes squinting, clearly disapproving of the name. Mabel was not dissuaded.

"Yeah! You know, 'their bark _is_ as bad as their bite'?" she asked, snickering. In the distance, Arline roared and lifted up one of the dogs with one hand, and threw it at the other two, knocking all three to the ground. In a literal dog-pile, they raced to get back up and charge again.

"No. Bad name," Dipper groaned and shook his head. "How about... I remember something about them calling them 'Vicious Vinous'. Maybe that's the name of the species they used-"

"No. Latin. Any. More," Mabel demanded, using her finger to poke his chest with each word.

"Well, why not?" he asked. Arline stood up on her one hand and leapt up, driving two feet into one of the dogs, knocking into the air and against a wall.

"Because you want everything to be named with Latin-ey sounding stuff!" Mabel replied, displeased with his insistence. "Latin is a dead language. Just because something is dead doesn't make it cool!" Dipper's mouth flapped open and closed. "Boys," Mabel rolled her eyes.

Dipper scowled. A light flashed in his eyes, and he nudged her arm with his knuckles. "Maybe Dogwood?"

"Hah! Mabel laughed, and then more lightning stuck her, "no! Got it!" she jumped up once just as Arline did, dispatching two of the soon-to-be-named creatures with a single jump and twist kick. As the two bodies soared back and slapped against the hard brick walls, Mabel declared, "We'll call them Lycanropes!"

"Huh?" Arline asked, landing on her feet and turning to the twins. "Did I miss something important?"

"Shaped like werewolves, but made of vine," Dipper put up two fingers, "catchy and punny, " he added two more fingers, "and something that sounds both impressive and silly! Done. We call them lycanropes."

"You guys don't just call them dogwoods in your head?" Arline asked from the distance. The twins turned to her and stared. "What?" she asked.

Before the twins could reply, more cries in the city called to their attention. The twins spun and Arline looked past them. Through the smoke of fires, more figures were running at them.

People were rushing through the smoke and flames, coughing and spluttering some hundred feet away. They looked horrible- many had scratches and bruises all along their bodies. Ash and rubble carried in their hair and clothing. Leading the charge was a very skinny man with a simple wife-beater shirt, cowboy boots and short jean-shorts lead the charge with desperation.

"Git out, git out!" he yelled as he ran with gusto.

Mabel made to step towards them, and then the running crowd was met with their fears. Through the flames many more of the 'Lycanropes' rushed forward. Outnumbering the crowd, they began to pounce on people, pinning them to the ground. "No!" Mabel roared and ran forward.

The three rushed to meet to opposition, passing by the first of the crowd before they met with any of the lycanropes. Those furthest away from them, who had already bagged their prize, had begun to drag people away, through the smoke and ashes. There were more- nearly fifteen of the lycanropes ran at the crowd and the trio. Mabel knew they could do it. This fight was going to be a hairy one, but not impossible. I mean, it would just be Dipper and Mabel taking on five while Arline took on nine. Not that bad odds, right?

Mabel gulped, yet tensed her fists. The fight would be starting in a moment. She stalled, taking her stance right behind the still fleeing crowd. The two behind her also took positions, and readied to fight.

If they had expected a more dramatic start, they were sorely interrupted. A series of loud, obnoxious car horn blares heralded a coming car. The swarm of lycanropes had no time to respond- instead focused on the three and those behind them they protected. A large love-machine burst out from an alleyway, and instantly exploded the group of plant-monsters. Pieces of plant and root thrown into the air, the car spun and swiveled, yet was able to retain it's balance.

Mabel blinked and stared at the car as Dipper spoke up. "Isn't that-" he stated, pointing to the savior vehicle.

The window dropped open and a muscular, thick arm waved to them. "Hey guys!" Grenda's unmistakable voice called to them. She pulled herself out from the door, which the twins noticed had been jammed inward. "Nice strike huh? Like, double points!"

"Hi!" Candy's voice too floated over, as she instead walked around the car, adjusting her glasses. Grenda fell out and onto her back as she fell from the window. Undeterred, she shook herself free from the remains of the lycanropes, and approached the twins. "Glad to see you are all okay."

Mabel stifled her smile. Her two friends, despite being happy to see them, looked worse for wear. Candy had a thin cut across her cheek, and her black hair stood in odd places. She clearly had been through one or two scuffles based on the dirt on her face. Grenda on the other hand was scratched, bruised, and sported a black eye. With her own hair standing in clumps of dirt and mud, and some of her clothing torn, Mabel was shocked she was still as mobile as she was.

"Well," Arline muttered, giving her arm a gentle twist, "better."

Behind the three, the fleeing crowd had clustered together, staring at the five who had come between them and probable danger, or worse. They gathered closer, their wide eyes and injured skin a testament to the trauma they had all been through. The few kids in the crowd hugged close to their families or family present, and lone adults stared in awe at the five.

"Lay it down, amigos," Mabel quickly asked around, "what's the word?" The crowd stared at her, uncertain to trust her further. A few began to whisper to one another, their eyes locked onto Mabel.

"These nasties started coming out of the ground, "the skinny man, Tyler, quickly said, "and grabbing at people. Dragging them to areas in town they started to control. Totally not kosher."

"They were dragging people away?" Arline quickly asked, and the smaller man nodded to her. She glanced to the twins, a spark of uncertainty in her eyes. "That's a new one. Why?"

"I don't know," Candy piped up," the first one, the giant," she clarified as she pointed to a log still imbedded into a building cluster, "made no attempts to capturing people- only destroying. This is strange."

"So the goals have changed," Dipper stated.

"Well, we need to save those people!" Mabel declared. Arline and Dipper looked to each other first, shocking Mabel. "Wait, you don't want to?" she asked, holding back her shock.

"It's not that we don't want to," Dipper said, "but we should get to the bottom of this before we make this a full-out battlefield."

"A little late for that one," Mabel reminded him with a look around, to the burning buildings.

After a moment of Dipper glaring back at Mabel, Tyler spoke up. "You three should just get people out of town. These monsters are coming like ants out of a hole in the ground."

"Another one!?" Mabel groaned.

"So that's twice they've popped out of the ground," Arline grumbled.

"Which means whatever we thought we had done to stop them wasn't enough," Dipper stated. "Whatever is controlling these things wasn't that machine we blew up."

"You... you're all honestly thinking about fighting them?" Tyler gawked, looking to the five.

"Uh, yeah?" Grenda scoffed, brushing specs of dirt off her shoulders. "It's kind of our thing," she said with a proud puff out from her chest.

"Look," Mabel turned to Dipper, looking him dead in the eyes, "we can go ahead and save the day, but we are going to help the town first." Dipper bit his lip, shaking his head. He wanted to argue, clearly with a deep rooted thought. Yet Mabel's stare and grin won out. Dipper sighed and nodded.

"Okay. We help first," Dipper agreed, looking to Arline, who too sighed.

"Sure. You two in?" she asked Grenda and Candy. Candy adjusted her glasses as she nodded and Grenda smirked, cracking her knuckles with a leer. "Okay."

"B-But it's dangerous!" Tyler said, "you could get hurt!"

"We kind of expect that at this point," Dipper said easily as Mabel shrugged.

"Comes with the job description," she said with a smile to her twin.

"You all are welcome to help," Arline said, eying the crowd, "these are your townsfolk. Your friends and families." The people, all taken aback from the sheer willpower of the five before them stared in awe. Tyler looked behind them, his eyebrows crooked in uncertainty. After a moment, his head fell, and he shook his head. "Don't feel bad about it," Arline said, yet sighed heavily.

The girl twin understood Arline's disappointment. While they wanted to keep people safe- absolutely safe- the idea of help by numbers was one that had never come up before. Yet it would have to be one down the road. They were clearly not getting their help from this lot.

"Well, go find cover and stay low," Dipper told them as he turned away, "and try not to get into any more trouble."

"So," Mabel looked to her two friends, basking in their presence with her grin, "you know where the peeps are being held?"

Candy grinned, flipping her black hair, "we came from there. We'll show you."

"Hop in," Grenda suggested, turning to indicate the scuffed and slightly dinged up van.

Sliding into the injured vehicle from the sixties, the now five turned down the one street and made their way past the smoke and fire that covered one of the intersections. Candy explained as she drove, "it was strange: certain pipes exploded at the same time, and then the second hole opened up. It was very strategic."

"Did they use the old hole?" Dipper asked. Candy was quick to shake her head. "So they have a new breach hole." As he sighed, Dipper was quick to explain their full findings from their past battle- that a powerful magic user was behind all this, driving the town into chaos. When asked why? "It's all some crazy plan to keep everyone here too distracted to realize what's really going on," Dipper explained.

"And I hate to say it," Arline piped in as the van drove, "it's working."

"So what do we do?" Grenda asked, "how do you fight chaos?"

"Easy," Mabel said with her own grin, "with your own chaos!"

"Uhh... no," Dipper said.

"You totally do!" Mabel argued, staring down her brother, "that way everything may be crazy, but at least you're on top, and can sorta decide what's up and what's down."

"You fight chaos with order," Dipper grumbled, "which means we need to establish some sort of defense. Getting the townsfolk to their feet is a good idea. That way they can fend for themselves while we look to really put a cork on this trouble."

"Do you really think people can fight these monsters- oh! One second," Candy said and suddenly swerved the car, smashing one of the Lycanropes off the road with a rattling crash. "Sorry, had to get him. Anyway, you really think people can do this?"

"It's either that, or we never get anywhere defending them," Dipper said, "which I'm beginning to think is the purpose of this all."

"But why?!" Mabel demanded of Dipper. "Why? If Omir did that spell or whatever he needed, why go crazy on the town anymore? He has what he wants."

"Sort of. Maybe what he needs to do in order to finish this would bring attention to himself," Dipper said, rubbing his head through his beanie. "It would make sense to distract the only people currently capable of fighting back by sacking the town."

"I imagine he's controlling these guys," Arline suddenly said. She had sat in the back, holding her hand to her head as she thought in silence. "Last time, Omir had Graupner act as a decoy while he fully prepared and activated the spell. Now it's just him. Maybe he's trying to lure us out and grab us."

"I still can't believe Omir was a bad guy," Candy said, turning the wheel.

"Right there with you," Mabel said sadly.

Arline snorted in the back. Mabel and Dipper glanced back. If there was anyone who would have had something to say about Omir Stiendorf and his place in the world, it would have been her. Yet she wrapped her injured shoulder with her hand, and leaned against the walls of the van.

As the twins checked with one another, Candy called out. "Okay," she said, and the van began to slow, "past this next smoke is the group of people who had been gathered. You guys ready?" she asked, and grabbed the stick-shift.

The twins looked to Arline, who nodded. They turned to one another. It was time again. The smoke enveloped the car as Candy pushed down on the gas pedal. Finally the view before them was un-obscured.

"Oh crap," Mabel gulped.

The view before them opened in an instant, and it was the worst thing they could imagine. As they looked out onto the main square of Gravity Falls and nearby the Town Hall, hundreds of Lycanropes stood and walked about, shoving around captured townsfolk as they were herded into buildings and clusters by alleys. Many of the Lycanropes had turned stare at the coming van. Candy saw the first cluster of Lycanropes and what was directly behind them- a group of residents.

"Hold on!" Candy shouted as she whipped the wheel to the right. The van turned and swerved, running on a short time only two wheels.

The van could have been running on uneven road with how bad the car began to shake. Dozens of the plant-like monsters were knocked aside or driven under the wheel as the van dove into a crowd. As the five inside began to feel the shift in directional gravity, the van spun onto one side.

Sparks filled the insides of the car as glass shattered. The moaning and screaming of metal and plastic filled the air with smoke and rubble as the car slid through even more of the Lycanropes. Mabel and Dipper, safely secured in their seatbelts were not sideways, along with Grenda and Candy. Arline was fine- despite having never secured herself. She stood upright along the wall of the car, perfectly upright.

Moments had passed as the car began to slow. With one final lurch as a final Lycanrope fell, the van stopped and the four finally could begin unbuckling themelves.

"Mom is going to kill me about the van," Grenda groaned, fumbling to remove the seatbelt.

Mabel was faster, and fell to her feet. The one of the two doors was facing the sky, and with a shove, she wrenched it open. The dark smoke above blocked out skylight from pouring in, and the opened door allowed the snarls and howls of coming enemies.

"Shall we, my stalwart companions?" she asked, seeing Dipper next to her, Arline across, and her two friends joining them. They all nodded. "THEN INTO THE GATES OF CHAOS WE CHARGE!" she yelled, and leapt up, climbing out of the van with a rush.

Arline was quicker- able to leap out without a problem. Mabel made it to the top of the flipped van as Dipper did, and Arline landed next to them. Around them on all sides were the Lycanropes. Snarling, snapping their jaws, they all faced them in numbers almost too high to count.

Dipper took the job of counting them quickly, "probably... two hundred just hear," he said as he shook his shoulders. "But they're slow and kind of frail. Not... too bad," he shrugged and gulped.

"I've faced worse," Arline said, "recently, too."

"Yeah. The Mabel agrees," Mabel smirked to her brother, even as a sweat began to build under her arms and along her forehead. "Dipper, do you have a plan for this one?"

"Plan?" Dipper repeated, looking around. "Uh... nope. No plan."

Despite Arline and Dipper looking discouraged at the news, Mabel grinned. "Not a problem," she said, and cracked her neck, stretching her head left and right as Grenda and Candy stood with them.

"Really?" Dipper asked, turning to see his sister.

"Yup," Mabel said, and stared down the dozens of foes, "just means we do what I do best. We make it up as we go."

And then Mabel leapt out, and punched downward.

The first Lycanrope fell to her strike, unable to stand up to her falling weight and power as she collapsed onto its chest. As she did, waves of shadows turned to Mabel. As she looked up, she was met with yellow snarling faces of vines. Then Dipper landed, kicking out as he did. More fell away and back. Arline followed, now unleashing her greatest assets- fire.

As smoke and flame erupted from her single hand, at least ten of the Lycanropes fell in a circle around the twins.

Grenda dived right in as well, and bellowed as she charged, her arms outstretched as she reached forward, grasping the closest enemy she could. She lifted it up easily with both arms- they were only made of vines, after all, and had plenty of space between the individual shoots. As she did, carrying the beast above her head, she threw it with a bellow that would make a Spartan proud.

Candy took action. From Artline's example, she lifted a canister from under her sleeve, took a match to the nozzle, and began to spray fire around her. One by one, those that got to close to her ended up in flames- blinded by fire and toxic smoke as fumes and worse enveloped their heads. She raced behind her friend, ensuring that those trying to make their attack on Grenda met a fate of flame and ash.

Now was the struggle. Now was the fight.

Could the world have seen the blur of motion that was the rage of the battle, they could have watched as the twins, Mabel and Dipper Pines fight at their absolute best. Through the chaos of exploding bits of vine and howls that pierced the air, they rose to the occasion.

They would anticipate each other's needs. If Mabel had ducked, Dipper leapt backwards, and spun, punching away the unwary foe. If Dipper had been pulled, Mabel turned and jumped at the foe, slamming her feet into the head of the enemy. When they got surrounded by the Lycanropes, they grasped each other's arms and spun- Dipper holding Mabel as a support while she whipped out and kicked away the enemy.

It was something to make Arline proud, if she was able to watch from a distance. Fortunately for her excitement, she was smack in the middle of the fight. Her legs, specifically the spaces next to her ankles, had also erupted into flames. As her pant legs slowly singed and burned, she was able to kick away fireballs. Spinning in mid-air with terrible fury and destructive power, she brought the most amount of pain on those who tried stopping them.

Yet it was not enough. More came. More filled the ranks. The vine-monsters kept replacing one another, and even as the five could fend for themselves with spectacular power and grace, they found themselves still constantly surrounded, occasionally taking the proud injury.

The onslaught was one sided. While Mabel, Dipper, Arline, Grenda and Candy could fully support themselves as they bounded around, aiding one another as they fought, the sheer numbers was fully overwhelming. Slowly and surely, the fight was brought to the wall against town hall, next to the open square. They had a wall against their backs on one side, and the army of Lycanropes on the other.

As the entire fight had gone down, the captured folks had watched fearfully, trying to warn the five of their fate. It was in the moment, the twins watching the animated, violence-inclined vegetation, that they realized how far in the pit they had thrown themselves into.

"Well Mabel," Arline spoke up, holding her one hand up as she held her injured arm away, "you wanted to jump into chaos like a hero. Here we are," she said with a gulp, "what's next?"

"Yeah," Dipper glanced to her quick enough to establish eye contact and a meaningful look, "what _is_ next?"

The trained eyes of Mabel stared around. The thickness of the crowds before them was unnerving. How they even fought through some of that was beyond Mabel. Still, somewhere deep in her brain, Mabel found a light and courage to stand up to the danger before her.

They had forgotten about a resource that the town had always had. Gravity Falls was known in part of the State for two big things- lumber and the Mystery Manor. If there _had_ been another noted feature, it would be strange, yet simple. The people.

They were all rough and tough mountain folk with simple lives. They lived in cold weather and hard days and night, and rarely complained. Mabel had seen more than one person easily out-shine tasks by athletes in trained fields. The people here were strong!

They just needed to be reminded of that! She grinned and held a hand up to the sky.

"People of Gravity Falls!" she roared, heralding the coming changes of the future itself, "look at what can be done! Stand up for yourself! Fight together! We can overcome these jerk-faced-snort-boogers!"

"You had me up until the insult," Dipper grumbled. Mabel elbowed him hard in the shoulder.

"Look at what we can do!" she shouted, turning to face a crowd of men and women, still being herded in a corner, "look at what just four teens can do, and a woman! We can do this!" she shouted desperately. "You can do this!"

She stared at one man in particular. He wore a large winter cap and held close to himself a thick jacket of green plaid. With his well trimmed beard, he stared back at Mabel, his eyes shining. She awaited the light that inspiration drew to shine from his eyes, begging for him to rally up and fight back. She knew they could.

Yet he turned away, looking to the ground.

"Guys!" Mabel shouted to the group, "you're so much better than you all give yourself credit for! You live here!" Mabel shouted angrily, waving to the sky, "the capital of crazy! The Nation of Nutty! The World of Wacky! Gravity Falls is a crazy place, and you all just live here anyway!?" she demanded of them, "that takes _guts_! YOU ALL HAVE CRAZY GUTS!"

More turned away from Mabel. A reddened burning in her stomach began to flare up. The same kind of feeling had come when she had spoken to Zander while he struggled to flee. How many times did she have to see capable people turn away from those that could use their help? She and her brother, her master, her best friends had just given their best to help them- and yet all they did was cower.

"GET UP!" she screamed. "FIGHT!"

Rumbling began again. The five against the wall looked around. It was the kind of rumbling of movement. Of something heavy coming their way. Their vision obscured, they could only wait as they continued to scan around. Finally, Mabel pointed. "Look! There!" she yelled.

Lycanrope after Lycanrope was thrown into the air as something the size of a small car barreled towards the group. Heavy hefting breath heralded something huge. The twins gasped- the sight of extra paws and arms poking from above the crowd of monsters told them who was coming.

As it crashed through the wall that blockaded them, they shouted together, "Multibear!"

With a triumphant roar from all heads, the massive mutant aberration of a bear smashed through the line of vine-animals and appeared, sliding to a stop before them. Standing at his terrible height, he landed and sniffed the twins.

"You are not injured," he said with a small grin, "this is good."

"Multibear, you've come to fight!?" Dipper asked with trembling excitement.

"Please, please, please, pleeeaase tell me Dipper is right!" Mabel begged the bear as it turned from them.

"Perhaps," Multibear said as he faced the somewhat shaken monsters, away from the group. "I merely need to know one thing," he said, facing away, "these beasts- you're certain they belong to the encroacher who threatens these lands for both magical species and human alike?" he asked.

The twins shared a glance. "If you mean the Sorcerer Omir Steindorf, who's been behind everything the Warlock has been doing, than-" Dipper started.

"YES!" Mabel roared, beating him to it.

"That is good to hear," he grumbled and shook his body.

"Uh... why?" Mabel asked, squinting at the bear as confusion addled her brain. "How is that in anyway a good thing?"

"Yeah, how?" Dipper added.

"Part two, section one of the newly established Neutrality act of the Special Interspeices Council states clearly," Multibear announced as the Lycanropes growled and began to close in on him, the twins, and their friends, "that any attempt made on the town by forces that would otherwise possibly threaten the likelihood of the species in the woods should they succeed, causes for immediate intervention."

"So... wait," Dipper gasped, and grinned, "you're sort of the scout?"

"I am a vanguard," Multibear turned to Dipper and winked.

"Wha- YES!" Dipper shouted, his eyes wide as he laughed with giddiness. Mabel stared. Aside from Multibear declaring he was something, she didn't understand the significance. "A vanguard, Mabel," Dipper turned to her, "is a leading force of an army."

"Uh... so?" she asked, staring around.

"That means," Dipper said, as the ground began to shake, "the rest of the force is coming."

If the rumbling that brought forth Multibear had been a distraction, the coming rumble shocked the town to it's core. Windows shook and trembled, those that had already splintered or shattered falling apart. Unhurt cars began to blare loudly, and the still lifted power-lines, though not functional, swung and swayed.

At the forest line, the retaliation began.

Nearly twenty full-born werewolves, in their natural bodies, raced out against the ground. Snarling along their four digits, they raced down the hills that lead towards town. Townsfolk panicked and screamed as one by one, more and more raced out, until nearly thirty of the massive true lycans bore down onto the town, funneling into the streets.

"Wait, who's side are they on?" Arline asked, pointing.

To answer her question, the lead Werewolf, a huge silver and white furred beast named Daggard bared down on the first Lycanrope it could find. With one mighty sweep of it's claws, the Lycanrope fell to the Alpha male. The rest of the werewolves followed suit, diving into combat with howls and snarls that easily overtook those of the Lycanropes.

"The werewolves came to fight!?" Mabel laughed as the Lycanropes turned back to the group. "This is so awesome!"

"Once more, my friends!" Multibear roared as he stood on his two main legs, "into the fray!"

As he bore down and charged, the five followed suit. The heavy, huge bear drove his entire weight through the wall of enemies, splintering them with his various, fully functional claws and heavy paws. Behind him, cleaning up the mess, was the five, easily able to ride the wake made by the bear.

He dove ahead, driving the five closer to the ranks of the werewolves. As the half-man, half wolf beasts clawed and fought their ways through the vine look-alikes, Dipper and Mabel were able to climb atop Multibear. Helping one another up with a tug from their arms, they jumped ahead, landing by Daggard. The werewolf took his most recent opponent with both paws, and tore it in half at the middle with one sweeping tug.

"You two," Daggard snarled, turning to face the twins, "tell me what you know about these false hounds."

"They're not actually wolves or hounds," Dipper was quick to explain as the carnage of Multibears charge made it to the forward pressing ranks of the werewolves.

Mabel spoke up. "They're actually just being controlled by one wizard jerk, that calls himself the Sorcerer," she explained darkly, but then snorted, "but his name is actually Omir."

"Then we suggest you go and stop this man, this," Daggard snarled and licked his thick dog-like lips, "Omir."

Dipper nodded, but Mabel remained rooted to the spot. "We're not leaving until the people of the town are helped!" she declared.

The werewolf Alpha, some seven feet tall himself, stared down on the twins with a curious stare. After a moment, he let out three barking laughs. "You think we're not going to be able to do this?"

"If it's just you guys, uh..." Mabel pointed out. Daggard sniffed loudly and sneered.

"That's cute that you think I'm the only one to show up," he said, grinning, "but, the contract is a binding one." He pointed over their shoulders, towards the woods. The twins turned, just as more trees began to shake and twist. "That means we _all_ show up."

The trees weren't budging from things pushing them aside. The trees were _coming_ to the fight.

Amidst the trees, cries of war and shrieks of terrible excitement flooded the air. Tall red hats and small beards of all shapes and sizes filled the now animated trees. Roots acting as tendrils which supported and pulled the trees closer to town, Dipper and Mabel could only stare as gnomish siege trees pulled themselves down the street.

"Open fire!" a gnome called.

Gnomes rocketed down as arrows from the canopies of the mobile flora. Streaking into the crowds of Lycanropes. Whistling through the air, dozens gnomes stabbed into unprepared forces below- their hats oddly sharp and powerful against even the thicker vines of the wolfen bodies. As soon as the gnomes would land, they scurried back through the many angered monsters, and found their way to their respective trees, awaiting to be fired again.

"I never thought I'd say this," Dipper said with an air of regret, "but I'm really happy to see the gnomes."

"I've got one better," Mabel said, looking back at the forest with a grin, "I'm really happy to see them!"

Dipper turned, following her gaze. Their eyes together tried focusing on the sheer movement of entities rushing out from the woods. Yet numbers proved to be larger than they had expected. Manotaurs were running out, roaring and flexing their muscles in boastful manners while small fairies flew overhead.

"Dipper, my boy!" a small, squeaky voice called, as a two foot tall figure came running up to him.

"Sibs!" Dipper shouted.

The Goblin Sentinal rushed to the twins and Multibear, who stood on his hind legs, observing the chaos behind them. Sibs quickly looked to the bear and the others, nodding to them each. "And Mabel Pines- couldn't have forgotten about you."

"You're here as well?" she asked with a beaming smile.

"Naturally!" Sibs proudly declared, thumping his chest with a small musket, which he then began to fashion a fang to the end of the gun like a bayoneted. "Who do you think it was that agreed to this declaration with your mutated friend here?" he added, giving the massive bear a glance of fear.

"Is it just you?" Arline asked. Sibs snorted, and pointed behind him and up, towards the rooftops. Walking in order and rank, fifty or so goblins, all wearing great-war styled uniforms marched, and assumed firing positions.

"Ready," Strooder, the revered Goblin ranger lead them, holding a sword in his hand as he pointed down into the awaiting Lycanropes, "aim," the goblins turned their muskets down into the streets, "Fire!"

For their size, the first wave of tiny bullets was surprisingly effective. The Lycanropes effected twisted and howled as the small bullets struck their bodies, tearing out holes and ripping away sections of vine. After the first volley was complete, a new row of awaiting goblin soldiers stepped up and took aim.

"But why?" Dipper asked to Sibs, who looked up to his taller friend.

"I thought the treaty or whatever you guys signed was one that prevented you from acting!" Mabel declared, desperate to watch the action flying around her. A half of a Lycanrope flew overhead, torn in half by Daggard, who had leapt back into the fray. "Aw! Cool!" she pointed as the top half landed nearby.

"The guise of the treaty," another small voice stated, familiar and cold to the twins, "was to reduce conflict between the species of these woods." Twinkle Moon and Bob the fairy zoomed in next to them, their small wings glistening with sparkling dust. "That means that when a threat is recognized by one or more groups of the signed contract, all in question must react accordingly."

"You're saying you're come to help people because it will help you?!" Dipper gasped. "Talk about progress!"

Twinkle Moon looked to Bob, who shrugged. Bob spoke, "well, if these country bumpkins get all killed, whose to stop the new power from coming after us?" he asked.

"I've heard worse reasons to help others," Arline shrugged.

"So it's not just the people of Gravity Falls versus these dog-bark-monsters?" Grenda asked, poking her head over the twins.

"Call them Lycanropes," Mabel smirked.

"But what about hiding your secrets of existence?" Dipper leaned to them. "Everyone in Gravity Falls knows you all exist now!"

Twinkle Moon and Bob smirked. "You really think that's our problem? If these people had doubts about species like ours existing after being assaulted by... 'lycanropes'," Bob painfully quoted Mabel, who grinned toothily, "then frankly, there was nothing we could have done regardless."

"Now," Twinkle Moon said, adjusting his tie quickly. "No, if you'll excuse us, we have a battle to endure."

As the two Fae fluttered their wings faster and soared ahead, the twins looked around. there was now a front of combat. The monsters of Gravity Falls versus the monsters from outside Gravity Falls. An army a hundred or so creatures had come from the forest, and combated the Lycanropes.

"We have this," Dipper grinned, looking to his friends. "With the monsters helping us, we should have this fight," he said around, checking on Arline. Her eyes were glued on the fighting. Not a trace of envy was behind her stare, yet the twins could sense something. "Arline?"

"Master?" Mabel added. Arline slowly lifted her finger and pointed to the rooftops where the townsfolk had been wrangled to.

Climbing up from all over town, more and more of the enemy gathered. If Dipper and Mabel had thought that two hundred of the Lycanropes was the final, scary number, they were now looking at something terrifying. Hundreds of them stood on the rooftops, howling. They had a good number of allies with them, but the armies had converged.

"We can't win in a straight up fight," Arline finally said. "But your big, werewolf friend wasn't wrong," she said, finally looking to the twins, "we just need to figure out what Omir is doing, and bust whatever spell he's got."

Mabel fought the strong urge to gulp. Dipper was not so fortunate- he trembled and scratched his neck with worry. He spoke up, "last time we tried that-"

"We didn't know that my master was here last time!" Arline told them, "if we go, there's a great chance that we just need to hold off until he shows up. The four of us combined may be able to do something against Omir!"

"Well... it's either that or we wait and see," Mabel said to Dipper. The teen boy tensed and looked around. The Lycanropes army was now beginning to force their own line, and the two armies finally stood head to head. Slashing, stomping, biting at one another without movement.

"They've got numbers on their side, which means they have time too probably," Dipper said, a calculation of some sort racing in his mind. He turned to Mabel, his expression solidified. "If we can just get to him and then stall him until big bad Guardsman shows up, we have a chance."

"The hole is on the other side of town," Candy pointed out to them. A howl of pain caused the five to turn, along with Multibear and Sibs. One of the werewolf warriors had fallen, clutching a large gash across it's chest.

"And we need you to end this before longer," Sibs said worriedly, grasping his weapon, "I must leave you, my friends!" he said, and ran around Multibear, "stay strong!"

"So how do we get across town and unto the underground base quickly?" Arline asked.

"Get you to your bike," Candy piped up.

"Great idea," Grenda nudged her friend.

"How?" Dipper asked with frustration, "the alleys are all still destroyed with logs and rubble."

"I know of one, more direct path," the deep, soothing voice of Multibear stated. He was grinning, staring at the line of battle with a smirk. "You two," he looked to the twins, "climb on my back. You three, prepare to follow."

"What are we about to do?" Dipper asked, still climbing atop the huge bear. Mabel was quicker, hopping atop one of the extra shoulders of the body.

"Simple, Dipper," she said with a smile, "we're going in again."

Dipper, now atop Multibear, nodded slowly and tuckered down against the thick fur. Mabel did so as well, feeling the huge collections of muscle tense. Their friends in place behind the bear, it was now up to Multibear to be the trigger.

As a bullet from the gun, Multibear lunged out while roaring.

The sheer force of the titanic animal was enough to level and crush more and more of the stunned Lycanropes in his way. Behind him charged Arline, tossing fireballs around her, ensuring the path the bear made would remain open. Grenda and Candy raced after the mutant, avoiding damage more than causing it.

As Multibear spotted the van and made to turn, a Lycanrope leapt up and out, latching himself onto the bears back. Multibear roare, having on of it's heads snarl and snap at the attacker. Mabel was quick to turn, kicking at the head of the monster. Even as one of Multibears limbs began to claw back at the attacking monster, it remained attached, digging his claws deeper into Multibears back.

"GET OFF HIM!"

Dipper turned and dived. His full force and weight slammed into the monster with his shoulder, shoving it off with a loud slam. With the bounding beast and the splashes of blood along the fur, Dipper found less to hold onto than he clearly had expected, and began to slip.

"Gotcha!" Mabel shouted, as she too lunged out and caught him with both arms. As she started to pull him up, another Lycanrope landed atop her, and turned down, ready to sink it's claws into her. "MASTER!" she shouted, unable to defender herself.

The fireball came not a second too late. Slamming into the face of the assaulting monster, the Lycanrope fell away, scorched all along it's head to the point of grilled vegetables. The moment of peace was enough for Mabel to strain, pulling Dipper back up Multibears back.

"I am slowing, my friends!" Multibear shouted, his voice trembling, "I have been badly hurt!"

"You can do it, buddy!" Mabel called back as she and Dipper slowly pulled their way up to his front. As much as Mabel's optimism could carry emotions, she could not heal the wounds he had been inflicted. Blood had stained parts of their clothes, and continued to fall from his back.

"I... I can't keep-"

Multibear roared as one leg of his tripped under his weight, and he fell forward.

Dipper and Mabel flew into the air, catapulted forward from the shift in momentum from Multibear. Mabel was quick to establish where she would land- onto on unprepared Lycanrope in a crowd. Dipper too seemed to find his target, and as they soared forward, they both struck true.

As Multibear fell to his side, groaning and unmoving, Arline, Candy, and Grenda arrived. Arline easily leapt over the bear, throwing around a quick burst of fire, providing the mutant bear a chance to stand without waves of enemies crashing down upon him. Grenda and Candy quickly stood next to the bear, and started to lift his head.

"C'mon!" Grenda shouted, "stand up!"

"A bear's endurance is more than this!" Candy said, providing a miniscule fraction of the support that Grenda had, yet still tried to lift the animal.

"And you're like seven bears!" Grenda added.

"I can see the smoke!" Mabel pointed to their far left. True to her word, the street the five had driven down was entirely deserted. "We need to get over there, that's all!"

"You make it sound so simple!" Dipper reminded her Arline stepped next to him, and the five found themselves surrounded, along with a crippled Multibear. He whimpered as he tried to stand, but convulsing muscle fought against him.

Mabel turned around quickly, spying the damage they had caused. At first her heart leapt; it looked as if the lines of the good guys- the monsters of Gravity Falls- had come closer. They weren't nearly as far as they had thought. Yet... after a quick moment to watch any progress, Mabel realized they still weren't moving any closer to them. They were once again five, stuck together in a sea of enemies.

"I'm going to cause a distraction," Candy piped up, pulling out three more of her large chemical and industrial bug-sprays she used for fire-spraying, "I'll make one bomb that will get a big chunk out of the way. When they do, move and run out."

"As long as you're coming," Mabel nodded, and looked to Grenda and Candy "right?" The two looked back to Mabel without a word. "You're coming," Mabel assured them.

"Mabel," Grenda shrugged, "we're not as fast as you three."

"But you'd be left to these jerks!" Mabel shouted.

"And you'd be able to save the town," Candy reminded her.

"We're not leaving you-" Mabel started.

"GIT 'EM! GIT 'EM!"

A new yell caught their ears. The five turned, along with most of the nearby Lycanrope horde.

Tyler Cutebiker, atop a bicycle fashioned with pieces of trashcan and sheets of thin metal, peddled furiously forward. Standing against him with his tiny height, Toby Determined held a hockey stick. Like a horse and his lancer, the two, along with another dozen men and bikes and motorcycles with similar set ups, charged down the street and crashed through the un-expecting waves of Lycanropes.

"This is our town! Get out you big dummy," Toby Determined snapped at the Lycanropes as Tyler drove between clusters, allowing Toby to continue smacking more and more heads with his hockey stick.

"People are fighting back!" Mabel yelled. Her eyes turned to the people behind her. "Do I even need to say anything?!" she demanded of them. "Now's the best time for a newly inspired charge!"

The huge numbers of herded people all stared at Mabel. Simultaneously, they all stood, and rushed forward. Matching the fury of the monsters of Gravity Falls, the townsfolk roared and raged, smashing down anything that stood in their way until they passed straight over the Lycanropes that acted as guards, and they met with the twins and their four allies.

"The Lycanropes may have numbers," Dipper giddily told Mabel, "but we have them fighting on three fronts now!"

"Then what are you waiting for! Go kick butt!" Grenda shouted at the twins, as several bikers drove past them, kicking down Lycanropes for townsfolk to jump on top of and begin kicking to the curb.

"Get going!" Candy told them. "We'll stay behind and help fight!"

Mabel gave her friends a quick look over. They no longer held an air of desperation. They were confident, and that feeling flooded into Mabel with waves of appreciation. "I love you two!" she said, and rushed over to them quickly, hugging them both. They hugged back briefly, and Mabel had to push away, and rush past her brother and Arline. "Let's go!"

With the newfound chaos of the battlefield, the three easily slipped their way through it all. Bikers swerved and dived into and around crowds, smashing down distracted Lycanrops or kicking the Lycanropes who had pounced onto a helpless human. Two to three humans at a time could pull one of the plant monstrosities to the earth and begin pulling them apart.

Finally they were out of the war. The battle behind them certainly seemed to grow however. More civilians were rushing into the battle, holding up pipe-pieces, baseball bats, pots, pans, rolling pins, brooms- anything they could get their hands onto. Then the three found the still intact Motorcycle.

Rumble, roar, lurch; the twins and Arline raced out of town and up the hill, to the gaping hole in the ground.

"Mabel, are you sure about this!?" Dipper demanded as Mabel refused to slow down, even as they stared at the gaping maw of darkness before them.

"Duh!" she shouted and adjusted her glasses with a gentle shake of her head. "This bike has plenty of shock absorption!"

"That hole had a ten foot drop, and is slanted!" Dipper pointed out as the hill got steeper and the biker went even faster, as Mabel really pushed the engine forward. "Mabel-"

"Trust me!" Mabel roared, "into the gates of the abyss weee goooo!" she yelled, and the bike fell forward, into the shadows.

Gravity was missing for a moment as Mabel held the bike forward. They were in now, falling forward, down the darkness. Dipper screamed as Alrine held herself tightly along the seat. Mabel was laughing, her hair billowing behind her. With a grin, she removed the glasses, pocketing them as she saw the first signs of earth coming.

The wheel, true to her promise, buckled and remained intact. All three lurched forward, yet still remained seated. All Mabel had to do was a simple adjustment of her steering now, avoiding the odd rock in the loose dirt before her. It wasn't even an issue for her, now swerving dramatically out of the way while she remained upright with her bike.

They quickly entered the first chamber, which had incubated the original giant Lycanrope. Abandoned as it was, Dipper and Mabel found all the doors still open. All they had to do was tuck in as the bike flew through the relatively thin doorways. The occasional light had shattered or remained off, and the three were subjected to a flashing, slow strobe of passing sources of bright light.

Down the carved tunnels Mabel drove, the engine of her bike growling and roaring as she grew closer and closer to the original tunnel. With a gasp and turn of the handles, Mabel turned the bike to a stop.

They had made it to their destination- the original pit that Montana Jeffreys had once used, and the site of Arline, the Guardsman, and Omir's battle. The lowest section of the pit was still caved in with rock, and only a few lights remained on.

"It's... abandoned?" Dipper asked. "But these things are still coming up from the earth... so where are they?" he growled.

"There's another tunnel that way," Arline pointed across the massive divide of the chamber. Mabel nodded, and twisted the handle again. The bike lurched as she turned it, and they began to ride around the sides of the massive room. While huge, the room barely took a few seconds to cross over while the three rode the bike.

The newest tunnels, as the twins silently looked around, brought memories to their mind. These were the original tunnels they had used to escape from Montana- caving in the ceiling in an attempt to better flee from his wrath, and his dogs. Yet the rocks and rubble had been moved- and the ceiling looked perfectly solid- like it had never happened.

"Magic," Mabel mumbled, and bored down on the bike, speeding it to go even faster.

Mabel spotted the change in the tunnel first. A new large hole, one that bore into rock and earth alike, turned off to the side. Her bike swerved as she chose to follow it, ready to take a risk to find the culprit of these actions and demand he stop. Inside the tunnel, the landscape began to change.

The constant lights began to fade away. Less and less lights had been brought to this section of underground hide-away. Metal sections and plates had been bolted into parts of the walls and floors, changing the soft thuds of wheel against dirt into loud clatter.

"Dang it," Dipper grumbled, "can you be any more louder?"

"Sure!" Mabel barked back at him, frustrated at the metal sheets. While stealth was not a concern to her, the possibility of ruining her ties was. Slowly, she reduced speed until the bike came to a stop. She sighed and looked behind them. "Walk from here like a trio of bums?" she asked.

Arline was quick to get off first. "Don't need to. Look," she pointed past Mabel. The twins looked down the tunnel, and too saw her target. A new pit had been formed.

Leaving the now de-activated bike behind, the twins and Arline made their way, step by step, towards the drop before them. As they found themselves at the edge, they realized how far down it lead. Just as much as the original, if not more, the massive chamber was pinned together seemingly by many bridges of metal beams, all nailed and bolted together. A criss-cross of unabashed metal crudely assembled.

Awaiting at the bottom, a cloaked figure with light radiating around him.

"There he is," Mabel gulped. As the three stared down the tunnel, she spoke again, quietly, "so, any idea when your master shows up?"

Arline sighed. "Usually only when he is absolutely needed. And that could be any time. He's, uh," she scratched the side of her forehead, "not entirely predictable."

"Then let's get down there," Mabel grinned, "and make this happen."

"Okay. Nothing stupid though," Dipper said with a scoff, "like any of this isn't stupid."

The closest bridge of metal was directly before them, leading towards another. Each of these simple constructs brought the trio further and further down, towards the figure awaiting them. After several crosses, they found themselves at a point where they could merely drop down. Arline leaned with them, at the edge, staring down at their foe.

"On the count of three?" she asked them. The two nodded, taking calming breathes before they took action.

"How about n-now?" the figure below suddenly called. The three flinched, and then looked down in shock. A hand from under the cloak shot up, and a plume of black fire shot up.

Arline ordered quickly. "Jump!"

Avoiding the deadly cursed fire, the three landed before the man just as the fire ate away at the worn, rusted metal. The acrid scent perfumed the air as ashes fluttered down next to the twins and Arline, who stood up, ready for more. The figure had turned to face them though, and held in his hands, a staff.

Not, however, a staff of bright white. A gnarled staff of torn metal which had been wrapped around a single, knobby branch. The face was young, and was pale. An eye looked out at them from under the hood, and grinning leer presented itself. A small rag covered his one eye, which had a small, strange glow about it.

"This is-" Dipper started, his voice empty as he stared ahead.

"Imp-p-possible?" the figure snarled, lifting his hand up to the hood.

"You-" Mabel gasped.

"D-Died?" he said, and lowered his hoodie. Graupner Steindorf stood before them, his staff glowing a sickly green and yellow at the top end. "S-Seriously, you all are so-"

"Awesome," Mabel answered for him.

Graupner tensed his lips, glaring at her. "P-Predictable. I was going to say-"

"Where is Omir!?" Arline yelled. Graupner rolled his eyes.

"Not here?" he stated with a grin. With a curt bash of his staff against the ground, a resounding echo of arcane light flooded the entire room. The ends of the metal bridges began to shake and tremble, as if the light around them was being warped and twisted. The walls of the pit itself faded and died, revealing a larger room they all stood in.

Each of the bridges had been cloaked by illusion. At the ends of the real bridges, a spiraling walkway, similar to the original pit, was connected to each end. What awaited in the shadows was, however, much worse. Hundreds more of the Lycanropes, all perfectly still until just then, turned their heads and began to growl. They began to climb down, some choosing to fall next to Graupner.

"You... how are you even here!?" Dipper shout, spit flying from his mouth.

"Magic," Graupner grinned, "and thanks to you, and your f-friend Yuki. But th-that's in the p-past," he stuttered, and waved his staff into the air, "because now, you're g-going to see a true power of magic. When even life itself bows b-before arcane power!" he laughed, and removed the rag.

A beady red crystal floated in what was a blackened eye-socket. Moving in place with his natural eye, the crystal stared at the twins and Arline.

"Last chance," Arline stated, as she and the twins were surrounded, "where is your master?!"

The Warlock bowed his heat slightly, a frightening visage with the new red-eye. "He's d-doing the real _mission_. I... was just the distraction-"

The twins and Arline stood back to back. They were fully surrounded. From every side, and even above on the bridges above them, the Lycanropes stood, snarling and barking at them.

"All j-just to lull you and your master here," Graupner finished, and then smiled. "Away from th-the real stuff. Ch-Ch-Checkmate."

* * *

Along the path that lead to the Mystery Manor, a figure walked at a gentle, but brisk pace. Wearing a well adorned suit with a bow-tie, he held an object each in his hand. One, he held a beautiful white staff of simple look. In his other hand, he held a large glowing black crystal which shined rainbow coalescence from under his fingertips.

He paused as he climbed to the top of the hill. Holding out the Starkissed Stone of Conservation in his hands, he inspected it with a deep awe in his eyes.

"Finally... how long has it been since I've seen you?" he asked ahead gently, his deep, resonant voice echoing against the sounds of war in the distance. "This day... this one, final day, I'll be able to see you again. Hear your voice. Take your orders and fulfill them," he sighed, and lowered the stone.

Right where he had held it to his vision, the Mystery Manor stood.

"Now," he said, and held the stone to his side, and continued his pace, "let's ask these kind folk if they are willing to help me."

BANG.

A loud gunshot tore at the air. Some two feet before the Sorcerer, Omir Steindorf, a large section of earth exploded. Omir chuckled, and quickly looked ahead.

Out from a window on the second floor, an old man in a suit stared down at him, holding a large hunting rifle. He leaned out, his weapon laid out in full view.

"Take one more step and I'm not lowering my aim!" Stan shouted, his sights trained firmly on Omir. "Now shove off!"

"Not at all my intention, I assure you," Omir called to Stan, "I'm not here to fight any of you."

"Right," Stan nodded as the front door below him opened, and Soos stormed out, holding a five-foot tall stand filled with falling postcards, "then give me one reason I shouldn't just 'accidentally' murder you and add that to my long list of crimes?"

"Yeah!" Soos declared, holding the support end of the stand, poking at the air by Omir. "Why should we?"

Omir stared at Soos, and then to Stan. His eyes focused on each of them so quickly it could have been a blur. He studied them, their posture, their eyes, their weapons. Yet he smiled.

"She won't get the jump on me," Omir chuckled.

On cue, Wendy lunged out from the bushes and charged, holding her axe up by her head. Omir never turned to see her, he never even acknowledged her attack. She made a charge, and swung the axe at his shoulder. His hand bent back, and he poked her own stomach with the end of his staff. Using the moment she created, Omir gently twisted his wrist and lifted Wendy up and over herself, and threw her towards the shack.

"A nice try. I had to really focus to sense where you were hiding," Omir told Wendy as she scrambled to stand up.

Stan had taken his cue. Pulling on the trigger, he fired again and again, filling the air with tremendous gunshots. Omir merely whipped the staff back and forth, swatting the bullets away like flies.

Soos rushed forward and swung with all his might onto the man. The stand was blocked by Omir, who blinked, and studied Soos. "You're much stronger than you look," he admitted, and then tightened his grip on the staff.

Just as Wendy bellowed and rushed again, Omir twisted his wrist, and spun Soos aside, knocking him away into Wendy. "Stanley!" Omir shouted, seeing as Stan was nearly done with re-loading his weapon. Stan never paused, but he looked back down. Omir stepped over, and placed his staff by Wendy's neck.

"Let go of her!" Stan roared, and finally cocked his rifle.

"Point that at me again," Omir growled, "and she doesn't get back up. Ever. And trust me, there are ways of dealing with the undead like her," Omir warned Stan, and then Soos, who had started to stand back up.

"W-wait, don't hurt her!" Soos begged.

"Stand down, Sorcerer!" Stan shouted, yet kept his gun aside.

"Just get him!" Wendy demanded, "he's probably bluffing!"

"You'd think that," Omir glanced down to her quickly, a faint but confident grin worn, and he looked back to Stan, "but my own experiences have taught me how to deal with things like her. If you attack me, she dies."

Stan's arm twitched. He snarled as his eyes glued onto Omir. Soos looked between them, his own eyes wide and fearful. "C'mon, let her go!" Soos begged.

"I plan on it, truthfully," Omir told Soos, "but I need a deal to be made first."

"I don't do deals with anyone when I'm not the prime contractor," Stan barked.

"Don't be so argumentative," Omir said, pressing down on Wendy's windpipe gently. Stan watched him do so. The rage in his face died away, replaced with worry. "So," Omir stated, gathering his attention again, "The deal is simple. You let me in, and show me this device you have hidden from the world underneath the building," he pointed to the Mystery Manor, "and I help you."

Stan stared, blinking. If they had a chance to get the jump on him somehow, it may be by talking to him. "How is that? You just, what, help us?"

"Yes. Here, I can start by giving you a suggestion," Omir said, taking a step closer to Wendy, but staring intently at Stan, "Help me. Allow me to do as I wish, and I'll undo... the damage caused by my apprentice to your friend."

When Stan's gaping mouth said nothing, Omir specified.

"I'll revive Yuki-Dohth for you."

* * *

I wonder what Omir wants, huh? Hm... probably just dirt. Lots of dirt. :D

This was a huge, crazy massive chapter, and I warn you all, the next two are going to be just as long. Not that I see a lot of complaints about that... still. Warning you. :p

*cough cough*... Anyone-still-seeing-the-signs-from-A-Summerween-Carol-coming-to-life?... *cough cough*

And yes, we end another update with a deal being offered, but this time the separation between two episodes. What will be chosen? Who will stay true? Who will break and fall? These answers come very, very shortly.

If this was the nine of craziness, we have two more bumps in insanity to go. Ten for part one of the Season Finale, and then eleven for the true ending. Grab your straight jackets, because these next two weeks will blow your minds. ;)

-EZB

* * *

**-Vigenere-**

**Loces hxzc goe wccw. Fzghixsdtg nblw rflfbwt. Brmizcg nbtstf rgd cdh.**

**Kae aphyl act qinmmawez uyssi fy qdck, ree X gytlw wccw tz bm geoe. X kzel mgwez mj acmx blry kh mp.**

**-Not Vigenere-**

**20-8-5 5-14-4 9-19 3-12-15-19-5-18 20-8-1-14 20-8-5 14-5-24-20 5-16-9-19-15-4-5 6-9-14-1-12-5.**


	61. Winds of Change: Part 1

Graupner Kinley stood before the trio, holding his hands together as he laughed. Surrounding him were hundreds of the Lycanropes- wolf-shaped plant monsters under his control. Standing in droves that made even Dipper's number-savvy mind numb, they bared their root-like teeth and snarled. Back-to-back, the trio glared back.

The twins, in their facing the horrid man, each had a good chance to stare at the face. The eye-socket without an eye had a small, diamond shaped red stone for an eye, which moved in unison with the still functioning eye. Inside the socket, horrible scarring and tissue damage laid bare to the world. Just like the skin around the eyelid, now missing, tears and permanent bruising circled the dark center.

"I can't b-believe this worked so well," Graupner roared with laughter, "Just as planned! To think he c-could actually predict you all so well... hysterical."

"Yeah? Well so much for your plan!" Mabel shouted back, tensing her fists tightly, "because now we're here!"

"And you're going to be stopped for good!" Dipper agreed.

Graupner whistled, holding a hand back in mock fear. "Oh no! The heroes think they c-can k-kill a Lich?" he placed the back of his hand on his forehead, "ohhh! Oh!" He laughed, "God," he lowered his hand, scoffing, "you three are really just t-too stupid."

"What's stupid about us finally cornering you?" Arline demanded.

"For starters, thinking that you have me c-c-cornered," Graupner lifted a finger, "because, frankly, I think I'm not the one who's b-back is to the wall. Secondly," he lifted another finger, "thinking that you coming d-down here wasn't part of my master's p-plan."

The three stared at him, even as the masses of Lycanropes shifted and spun around them. Twisting and moving about one another as one sea of plant-bodies, they shifted in place as they circled Mabel, Dipper, and Arline. Those above, still waiting on the metal bridges, leaned further down, bearing their horrible faces closer.

"Don't you g-get it?" Grauoer grinned as he tapped his gnarled staff absentmindedly with the tips of his fingers, "everything, every single th-thing we've done has had a purpose! The spider summoning flute, brought a new sense of fear into the t-town! It was going to drive away t-tourists from stopping by more often, limiting the help from the outside. After all, who would want t-t-to visit a town where giant spiders attacked frequently?"

"To separate people away from town?" Mabel repeated, "but why?!"

Graupner ignored her, his red eye glowing. "When I attacked the c-convention, it was just to allow my master to grain the real authority and reason to d-deny any business ventures to spread to this region! Without it, he had n-no r-reason to oppose the d-decisions of the other heads for that convetion, " Graupner sneered, "With tourists slowed and b-business slowed, all he had t-to d-do was ensure the town would fall apart on it's own."

"That's... why you brought down the phoenix!" Dipper gasped, "you knew people would realize what it was! And want to fight over it!"

"Exactly," Graupner sneered, "visitors gone, b-business gone, all we had to do is force the state of mind to go from unified to broken. With the d-death of the phoenix, we only got a crack... but it was enough. P-People were no longer interested in helping one another as much as they would have been."

"You're wrong," Arline whipped her head to the side, able to look at the Warlock from the corner of her eye, "people have helped one another! They're fighting for their town now, up above!"

The Warlock rolled his eyes, the stone leaving a glowing trail that lingered in the air for a quick moment. "Yeah, whatever. So th-they are a t-tad more resilient th-than we expected. Th-that's why we made these," he opened his are to the side, beckoning to the Lycanropes around him, "_Vicious-Vinous_."

"Lycanropes," Mabel quickly commented. "Such a better name than loser _'Vicious-Stupidous_'.

Graupner opened his mouth, a vicious snarl on his lips. Then he stalled, blinking. He continued, seeming to ignore her comment. "With the t-town still intact with their morale, we came up with a new plan: t-take it d-down by force. There wouldn't b-be any outside aid, not with my bombs set off a few days ago," he sneered again, "which, thank you for that. I was afraid the t-t-timer would go off before then."

"Funny, the only one you got was your master," Dipper pointed out, his words lashing to Graupner. The Warlock rolled his eyes.

"All he had to do was 'appear' to be in danger. Fooled you th-three, it seems," Graupner added. "Plants, with werewolf essence m-magically infused into it from the unknowing donor, Jacob Fulbrow."

"Explains why they all suck," Dipper muttered to Mabel, who grinned in response.

"Oh, yes, that's right," Graupner added with a snap of his fingers, "you all b-beat it, sure. But you were late to finding myself and my master. B-By the time you showed up, we already destroyed the charm surrounding the stone in the forests." The three's jaws fell open. "Oh, what? Did you th-think we were j-just putting on a light show? For now on, the Starkissed Stone of Conservation c-can be found by anyone."

"Which means... the near war you started with all the species in the woods," Dipper tallied, "the giant Lycanrope-"

"_Vicious-Vinious_," Gruapner cut him off.

Dipper was undeterred, and bit on the name, "_Lycanrope_, and... and the attack now, they were all made to distract people!?"

Graupner smiled, and nodded. "You know, Omir once said that the g-greatest lesson he learned from the paths is that the b-best way to win an objective is to avoid th-the fight altogether. I like the fighting part, but can't lie if he's right. Yes,"he clarified, "right now, he's g-g-going to get the stone, and complete his mission."

"Why?!" Dipper asked, "what is he really up to!?"

To their amazement, Graupner shrugged. "Why should I care? All I know is the night b-before he started this, three years ago, he started muttering in his sleep, and now he's d-determined to save his precious 'golden soul'."

"You're his apprentice!" Mabel gasped, "don't you care what he's up to!?"

"A good apprentice should," Arline added.

"I'm only that- an apprentice," Graupner snarled bitterly, actually spitting the ground before him with a spasm of light from his rock-eye. "I was never a p-partner. Always a student. What should I care when I'm just a second-b-best to someone I should be partner to?"

"Being a student makes you a partner," Arline barked at him, "you learn as he does."

Graupner stared at her, and then to Mabel. With their own previous experience with one-eyed enemies, they saw the vicious jealousy inside his mind. Yet he pulled back, his eyes closing as he leaned on the staff. "Whatever. So he never t-trusted me."

"Wonder why," Dipper quietly muttered to the three.

"But it d-doesn't really matter. Not any more. Not now. Not... for you th-three," he slowly smiled again, looking to the ceiling high above, "after this is all over, he'll finally t-trust me enough to really teach me spells I want... and then I will one d-day become the master, and he... a corpse."

"You're already a corpse," Mabel told him with a small shake of her head.

"No matter what you do, you can't change that," Dipper added.

"Mind, and body- one big stinker," Mabel furthered.

"And soon, you th-three will be too," he growled, and leaned the staff forward. "D-Dead, I mean. Not a stinker. That p-part was stupid."

"You're stupid!" Mabel pointed at him.

The Lycanropes advanced. Stepping closer as one fluid motion, the space between the trio and the many bodies of sharp claws and teeth began to shrink. Graupner's red eye sparkled small speckles of red light and his other eye twinkled maliciously as he called the order. "Get them!"

* * *

"You'll what, dude?" Soos asked.

Before him, still standing above Wendy, Omir lowered his head as he looked to Soos and Stan. The dark eyes twinkled, a form of truth visible from his mind. Stan, far behind Soos and poking the end of a rifle out from the twins room, glared down. He was certain he could get a shot in before Omir moved. Yet he had thought that previously, and still hadn't been able to bring the Sorcerer down yet.

"I'll restore your friend. Uki-Dohth," Omir repeated.

"But you can't," Soos pointed out quickly, "he was cursed and stuff!"

"Conventional healing is impossible. The curse of blackflame is a dangerous, but simple one," Omir stated, and took a step closer to Soos. "I can lift the curse. Made by my apprentice, and taught by myself, I know it very well. Trust me," he said, as Wendy rolled away from him, and slowly started to stand.

"Trust you!?" Stan shouted from above. "I'd sooner send a welcome card to the gnomes!"

"Which means no," Soos restated, "we don't really trust you."

"You should," Omir said, his grin leveling out.

"Really?" Wendy coughed as she stood, "and how does that work? We trust you to always break and blow things up?"

"Or trust you to send your maniacal apprentices after us!?" Stan added.

Omir's gaze lifted to stan, yet he did not turn his face upward. Weary and tired, the ancient spellcaster sighed and then spoke. "You should trust me because I've always chosen the path of least resistance, which means I am willing to work with you."

"Hah!" Stan laughed, his gun aimed straight at Omir now, "and how does any of this seem 'least-resistancy' to you?"

"You've practically gone out of your way to hurt people!" Wendy shouted.

"Not to mention, kind of blow up town," Soos added.

"Yet it still stands," Omir pointed out, "along with you all. I am a powerful man," he said easily, flexing his fingers, "with wealth, power, and most importantly, magic. With very little effort on my part, I could have leveled this town for good. Bought it all through illegal means, and then bulldozed it to the ground and then personally sought out this stone," he lifted the shimmering orb.

"Yet, I did not. I avoided the conflict, the _real_ conflict, knowing it would only extend the issue. I've worked in the shadows, protecting the masses and myself from a battle that would end lives. Even now," he turned half way, pointing with his staff back at the trees, "the battle in town, I made note to have Graupner not kill or harm a single person. Captured, rounded up, and restrained. Then I will return and save the town. People return to their lives, I gain the stone... and what comes with it," he finalized, "and no one dies."

Stan stalled, the grip on his gun faltering. For a guy he currently had no problem shooting at again, he made a whole lot of sense. Stan knew how it was to act out of sight, from beyond other's views- how efficient it made things. Sure, this man, this Sorcerer, was their enemy, but Stan almost felt sympathy for him.

"Well, even if you think you're helping people dude," Soos suddenly blurted out, "look at what you'll do to people just to get what you want!" he also pointed to the woods towards town, where echoes of screams and explosions shook the air, "that's not happy sounds I hear! More like 'oh no, I'm in mortal peril', kind of screams dude!" Soos took a few long breaths, staring at Omir. "You want to say you're a good man? Well, I don't think so, dude."

"I may not be a good man, but I'm certainly a practical one," Omir shrugged.

Wendy made the first move. As best intuition could serve, she struck just before he finished his last words, right where he would be distracted and in thought still. She rushed forward, and swung with her axe. Omir, turned to her, and flexed out his staff, stopping the attack by meeting handle with the tip of his white weapon.

Soos roared and ran forward, and jumped. He would reach around with his arms, and as he did, he wrapped them around Omir. The old man's arms fell to the side, and he stumbled forward. Wendy stepped aside just as they tumbled past her. Omir flipped, actually using the weight of Soos to his advantage. He let Soos fall to the ground as he leapt over him and flipped impressively.

Stan had his target now- and no one to get in his way. As Soos staggered up to the side, Stan took his first shot. Omir had flicked his gaze back to Stan quickly, and saw the attack coming the moment the trigger was pulled.

He stepped aside, letting the bullet slam into the earth. Stan re-adjusted and fired again. This time the staff spun, swatting away the large caliber bullets easily. Wendy snarled and rushed into combat again, uncaring of the bullets. "Keep shooting at him!" she shouted.

"No problem!" Stan barked back, and fired.

With the staff occupied from swatting bullets, Wendy was able to get swings in. The first two made not contact, yet the third would. Omir was fast, but he could not, as it seemed, become incorporeal and avoid the harm altogether. To avoid Wendy's axe, he tossed up the stone. Flying into the air now, Soos watched the stone soar, and moved to catch it.

With his other hand free, Omir caught Wendy's axe, gripping it tightly. As Stan fired another round, which he continued to parry, he whirled around, pulling Wendy with him. With might to match her Father, Omir threw Wendy into the air at Stan as the trigger was pulled again.

"NO!" Stan shouted.

The bullet struck Wendy's back.

Her eyes widened, and she fell to the ground in a slump.

"WENDY!" Soos shouted. In his momentary worry for Wendy, Omir took advantage, and swung the staff towards Soos- too far to make contact yet. A gust of wind blew him back, and Soos slammed into one of the few columns supporting the overhang by the porch. It snapped, and Soos rolled to the ground, groaning as he clenched his teeth. "That'll leave a mark..."

The stone finally fell, some feet away from Omir. Barely following it's path, Omir thrust out the staff like lightning, and caught the rounded stone with the end of the staff. Grinning to himself, the Sorcerer lifted his weapon and allowed the stone to roll back into his hand easily. Omir turned up to stare at Stan, who had just started to re-load his gun. This time, the Sorcerer scowled and shook his head.

"When will you three learn," he grumbled, and pointed his staff to the window. A blast of red light shot out, and Stan ducked inside as a short, concentrated laser blast incinerated part of the window. "If you will not help me, fine. I'll see myself..."

Omir stalled, seeing a red-headed figure stand up, slowly. Her eyes a fury of green that caught the light of the sun brilliantly, Wendy glared at him, her teeth bared.

"That... hurt," she breathed.

"Right. Undead, silly me," Omir pointed his staff to her, "let's just end that, shall we?"

A ball of yellow light burst out from the end of the staff like a bullet. Slamming into Wendy's mid-section, she slid back, holding to her feet as the force imbedded itself into her. Burning away at a hole in her plaid shirt, her toned midsection showed injury. Omir stared, shock in his eyes, as the burns closed up rapidly.

"No..." he shook his head.

"I'm not any normal kind of undead, you bastard," she sneered, lifted her axe from the ground, and ran at him.

"A wraith!" Omir yelled.

His posture instantly changed. Before Wendy could reach him, he lowered the stone to the ground. Taking both hands to his staff, he barged forward, and whirled the long weapon overhead. Wendy stalled, taken aback at the sudden aggression. Omir struck out first, extending the staff like a whip against her arm. CRACK!

Her arm bent horrible aside. Wendy screamed as bones broke, and she staggered aside. No more a second had passed before she shook her arm, glaring at the Sorcerer, her arm mobile again, seemingly unhurt. Omir continued his assault, undeterred with her unnatural abilities and endurance.

Again and again he struck Wendy, delivering punishing blows against her body. Arm, shoulder, hip, knees, Wendy buckled and fell, and would get back up and continued to fight. The more frustrated Omir grew, the faster Wendy got. She was gaining speed, as inhuman levels of adrenaline pumped through her body. The heart that should not be beating furiously worked, faster and faster without the limits of mortality and human stress limits.

Omir was now surrounded by a blur of a girl, red and green rushing around him in wrath. He would strike her occasionally, attempting to trip or wound her further. Now Wendy was on the assault- she was the aggressor.

With a triumphant yell, she spun herself as she leapt out and made her final swing- straight for the neck. Omir, who had just struck at her ribs with a stab, was unable to parry. He lifted one arm hastily and made to catch her arm. Her muscles, now far beyond normal strength levels, pushed hard against his considerable strength.

Sadly it was not enough. Omir did block the attack. Blood, however, was drawn. Wendy gasped as something drifted down from the axe- a small trickle of blood. She looked up, and she saw the damage.

A small cut, barely large enough to be a cat-scratch laid across his neck. More importantly, the drifting object, was Omirs ruined bow-tie. It fell to the ground.

"My tie," Omir timidly said. "I loved that tie... AND YOU RUINED IT!" he roared with fury as spit flew from his mouth.

His grip changed in a flash. Instead of her arm, he pulled back and grasped the axe. Terrible trembling white light shone from his grip as a high-pitched whirring started. Wendy was unwilling to leave her weapon behind, instead desperately pulling it from his hand.

The air shrieked, and Wendy's axe shattered at the handle, and the metal head split into two as a shockwave of sonic sound tossed Wendy back and shattered every window in the Mystery Manor.

The red-head struck the ground hard. She was fine, as she could care less about her body's condition, and so she started to stand. Something held her back, and she turned to her arms. Something was reaching out from the earth, grasping her body and pulling down. Then the same stoney wraps engulfed her legs. Wendy growled, and then screamed the moment another stone wrap sorrounded her neck, and she felt a horrible pressure against her spine.

"WENDY!"

Soos rushed to her, and began to pull against the stone. He lifted his hands, and smashed down. His weight proved to be a worthy combatant- the stone next to her neck shattered, and Soos made to attack again. The stone only continued to grow, and again her nexk was covered.

Soos looked up, and saw Omir holding a hand towards Wendy. "Let go of her!" he shouted, standing to his feet. Omir frowned at them, and then his fingers twitched. Wendy screamed as more horrible crunching came from her body.

"You let her go or I'll pop your brains out from your head you psycho!" Stan roared, more ammunition in his gun.

"And then I'll pound you into the dirt so _you_ can see how it feels!" Soos shouted.

"Threaten me more," Omir dared, his fingers locked into place, "and while I may not kill her, but I can certainly make her existence a true... hell," he warned them, his tones darkening as he sneered.

"And you think your apprentice is evil," Stan spat.

"Graupner would have burned you all to ashes by now. Killed the three of you where you stand," Omir warned them, "I am here... giving you three a chance."

"Let her go!" Stan shouted, holding the gun to his body closely.

Omir grinned. "I would reconsider your position, Stanley Pines," Omir grinned, "or you may be not one, but two employees short."

All it took was Omir's extended finger to twitch, and Wendy's body again cracked. She screamed, tears streaming down her face. Stan whipped to her, even as his gun was locked onto Omir. She was breathing so sharply, her face flushed with red as her cheeks went wet with tears.

He had heard those screams before. Not by stone, but by black fire, from a nightmare a month ago. Wendy turned her gaze to him, and made to speak. Only then did another stone wrapping cover her mouth, and pull her head roughly against the dirt. Stan closed his eyes, his body shaking.

"No more people hurt on my part... no more," Stan muttered to himself, his body sweating as he fought a pressure in his eyes. He looked to Omir, who had his eyes locked on Stan. "Okay," Stan nodded.

"Mister Pines, don't!" Soos shouted.

"You'll let me inside?" Omir asked.

"Mister Pines!"

"What choice do we have, Soos?" Stan asked, lowering his gun to the ground.

"Very good. I'm glad you've come to your senses," Omir said to Stan, a calming sigh escaping his lips, "now, I will leave this young lady here, in her stone predicament until I have gotten what I ask for. I hope this ensures my end of the bargain is fulfilled."

"Sure... just... stay down there. I'll let you in," Stan said, leaving the window.

Omir smiled and lowered his hands from Wendy. Soos, still at Wendy's side, lowered himself to her. "Wendy, do you need to breath?" he asked her. Her head was locked into place, and her mouth blocked. Instead, she shook her eyes left and right. "Okay... okay, we'll get you out of there, okay?" he told her.

"You're truly something, Mister Ramierez," Omir spoke up as he too had bent down to his knees, and lifted two things into the air, his torn off bow-tie and the stone, which he cradled in his hand. "You're aware she's a member of the undead, and will one day be a ruthless monster, yes?"

"She's my friend!" Soos shouted back.

The Sorcerer's mouth fell open a tiny bit as he looked to Soos, scanning the truth in his eyes. "... I empathize for you," Omir said, and stood up fully, "you, of all people. You've placed a lot of care into something that will one day go sour." Leaving the direct vicinity of Wendy, Omir took into his hand the stone once more.

"Well, I'm all about the here and now, you mean jerk," Soos spat, and held a hand on Wendy's shoulder.

As Omir watched Soos with a piercing gaze somewhere between adoration and sympathy, the front door opened again. Stan geld the door open, no longer armed. Omir looked to the old man, and nodded. Staff now as a walking stick, he walked past Soos and Wendy, never faltering his gaze to Stan.

"Let her go," Stan told him as he met him at the front door.

"I will when I return. Again, insurance that I am not betrayed," Omir reasoned. "Although, I'm still uncertain as to why you continued to defend her. One day she will become a raging feral monster, and all this love for her will go wasted and-"

A new bellow caught the two old men off guard. Soos had turned and, taking a note from Wendy's book, charged. Omir barely turned in time to see the bull-rush that was Soos charging at him, let alone prepare any kind of retaliation. Soos, with his impressive strength, lifted the Sorcerer off his feet and ran into the room, slamming into against the wooden floor with a crash. Two nearby post-card racks toppled to the floor with more crashes, spilling about the many iterations of Gravity Falls tourism. The stone rolled in front of Omir's face, by Stan's feet. The old man looked from the stone to Soos, furiously attacking the downed Sorcerer.

"Don't you talk to my friends that way!" Soos shouted, and slammed his fists into the chest of Omir. Unprepared, the old man wheezed as again and again Soos fought back, striking the downed spell-caster with fury.

"Soos!" Stan rushed into the room, uncertain as to what to do- help Soos or calm the fight. His mind an opportunist, he rushed for the counter and reached down, pulling up a baseball bat. He was too slow.

Soos was yelling and shouting by the time he turned. The longest employee under Stan's shop was now lifted against the ceiling, pressed against the wooden boards with unseen power.

"SOOS!" Stan roared, and rushed at Omir with the baseball bat.

"I wouldn't, were I you!" Omir roared, a large bruise covering his left eye. He stepped directly under Soos with a side-step, and pushed hard.

The boards above Soos warped. As with the stone in the earth around Wendy, the boards around Soos began to obey the commands of the Sorcerer. They wrapped around Soos like water, forming new, living wood that pulled Soos further into the roof. Creaking and groaning, the wood fought to hold Soos rigidly.

"No! Soos, just, I-I'll get you down!" Stan shouted, dropping the baseball bat as he rushed over, pushing aside Omir to better reach up. Soos reached down for him, and the two made contact- catching each other's hand. Stan felt the unflinching power of magic, pulling Soos away and still lifting Stan higher. Soos was being swallowed the ceiling itself. "Let him down!" Stan shouted to Omir.

"Now I think you'll see why you want to listen to me," Omir quietly said.

"Just let him down! You- you can leave Wendy, I know she'll be fine, but Soos can-" Stan begged, stepping closer to Omir.

"Now you have reason to want to help me," Omir nearly whispered, "or else... you can say goodbye to this good man," he glanced up, and Stan turned to Soos.

"I'm fine, Mister Pines!" Soos told him, forcing a worried grin to his face, "I can still talk and stuff, see? This aint so bad-" he said. Omir sighed, and snapped his fingers. "Uh oh," Soos gulped, and another thick board from the ceiling wrapped around his mouth and face, and Soos could only use his eyes.

"He can't breath!" Stan shouted. "LET HIM BREATH!"

"Then take me to your portal!" Omir barked.

"Please," Stan fell to his knees, clutching at Omir's jacket, "not them. I'll... I'll let you shoot me once, twice! Unload a gun, magic- whatever you got! Just don't hurt them anymore!" he shouted, "I can't see this again! Not again..." Stan looked down to the ground, no longer able to contain the tears behind his eyes.

The horrible sound of creaking wood that had begun to slow. Stan looked up to Omir, who stared down to the old man, his own brow furrowed. Something resembling sadness was etched in the wrinkles by his eyes. Stan then looked up, hearing rapid breathing. Soos's nose had been freed.

Relief washing over Stan, he fell again to the ground, clutching his heart. Soos wouldn't die... not yet.

"Stay here."

Stan barely heard the Sorcerer speak. He did see the passing footsteps. His eyes followed, and he looked up, watching the old man walk away, towards the hall. Stan was too numb, body and mind, to follow or ask what he was doing. All he really understood was that Soos would live. That was enough for Stan.

Omir departed briefly. Down the hall and to the right he vanished.

Stan finally shot up after a burst of glowing white light emanated down the hallway. Stumbling to his feet, Stan watched the hallway worriedly. Footsteps returned, and Omir presented himself as a much younger man, shocking Stan. Appearing somewhere in his thirties or late twenties, Omir sighed and approached Stan. Before reaching him, he bent down, and lifted the stone, once more, into his hands.

"I honor my deals," Omir said quietly, flexing his hand, the fingers around the black and rainbow-protruding magic stone, "Uki-Dohth will be able to recover in a matter of hours."

Stan's knees buckled. He never had a chance to fall or crash down, as Omir reached out and grasped his shoulders. Held upright, Stan saw as the eyes of his supposed enemy looked into his.

"I am not a bad man, Stanley Pines. I want to help the world, "he told him, a daring, bold conviction in his eyes, "I heal the wounded and can stop others without killing them. I make my deals with the intent of staying true to my end. I am not here to start fights, but to end them... how about you, Stanley?" Omir stated, boring his powerful, dark brown eyes into the old, shaken eyes of Stanley Pines.

"I'm a con man," Stanley said, eyes barely focusing on the man before him, "I've always lied and cheated. I got through high school copying off of my brother's grades. I made it here scamming people for whatever money I could. I sell people lies."

"Maybe what you need," Omir said with a smile, "is a change of pace." The Sorcerer patted his back, "You won't regret this, Stan," Omir smiled kindly, "now... show me to your portal, so I may wrap up this whole mess."

The old, washed up conman turned up once to look at the first person in his life he considered family who was not of blood. Soos, still imbedded into the ceiling, struggled for comfort, but was not in danger. Stan turned and glanced back to Omir, and approached the vending machine.

He reached out, his fingers pressing against the buttons.

A-1-B-C-3.

With a heavy sigh, Stan saw the crack pop open. He reached out, the weight of the world upon his entire arm, and he pulled it aside.

Omir's eyes glowed with the light below. Smiling, he turned and nodded to Stan.

"Lead the way."

The two old man stepped inside the descending stairs, leaving behind Soos and Wendy, bound to the magic of Omir Steindorf, the Sorcerer, leaving Soos to watch them depart.

* * *

The last of the first wave fell. Lycanrope number thirty eight collapsed backwards, rigid as a board. Mabel lowered her hand, still extended from the punch.

Around her, Dipper, and Arline, thirty eight unconscious or broken Lycanropes lay about. The first wave of enemies had been a scramble for survival. Along the twins, numerous scratches and cuts lay on their arms and shoulders. Dipper had a long cut across his cheek he did his best to ignore, and Mabel sported a large bruise on her forehead, when she head-butted an assaulting monster with a proud 'HIIYAA'.

Arline was the least hurt, despite still at handicap. One arm tied closely to her chest, she was restricted to her arm and two legs. This, as it turned out, was more than enough to keep the twins safe, and herself. Two fires blazed animatedly at the ankles of her boots, and one on her still extended arm crackled with heat.

"We need to get out of here," Dipper commented, "warn the guys at the Manor about Omir!"

"Sure thing," Mabel sighed, breathing heavily as she shook herself for a moment, "let's just go ahead and ask these nice monsters if they'll just let us go."

"I think we ask him, and not them," Arline said, nudging her head behind her. The twins turned, staring at the person indicated.

Graupner stared back at them, leaning on his staff as he had watched their fight. As the last of the Lycanropes collapsed, he scowled and stood up.

"Okay, f-fine," he rolled his eye, and the stone followed path, "so, you c-can fight better. B-big deal, "he grumbled, and lifted his free hand up. Black flames erupted above his body.

"Switch places," Arline quickly said. The twins wrapped around her and she scooted between, and she faced the Warlock now, her focus on him. "Give me your best, tough guy!" she shouted.

"HAH!" he roared, and held his hand up higher. The red stone glowed bright, beaming out rays of terrible crimson. The black fire mixed with a purple and crimson, and formed into a ball. "I've got something for you!" he said, as the ball grew larger and larger.

"He's... copying what Omir did yesterday!" Mabel gasped.

"So, you can control some fire, can you!?" Graupner shouted, the ball of black and crimson shimmering to approximately the size of a small car, "I wonder if you can control ALL OF THIS FIRE THOUGH!"

He pulled his hand back-

The four cringed as a siren went off above. All focus shifted high, high above. Arline focused her eyes, blinking.

"Please be master, please be master," she begged.

Another blast of sound, less piercing and more... instrumental reached them. The four, along with the hundreds of Lycanropes started up as loud, heavy footsteps approached, leading down from the various bridges. A figure, shrouded in shadow was coming.

Finally it stepped into the light of a nearby light.

The trio gasped as a ruffle of jacket billowed against the breeze.

An electric guitar blared as more strings were plucked.

"Zander!?" Dipper gasped.

"ZANDER!" Mabel shouted, "you came back!"

"The heck?!" Graupner stared up, his single eye squinting, "the rock star!?"

Zander Maximillion studied below him, holding his guitar in his hands. From the distance, the trio could merely make out his form, his long blond hair shining against the light, and his expensive and heavy looking guitar. Mabel focused hard, begging to see his face.

For some reason, she thought she saw... disappointment.

"So," he called down, "did I miss anything?" Mabel saw a smile flipped up on his face as he turned and looked to her. If her face hadn't been dirtied by battle, anyone could have easily seen the heavy blush on her face.

"What are you doing here?!" Arline demanded.

"I'm listening to reason," Zander sighed, and played another two notes on his guitar.

"Reason?" Dipper repeated.

Zander nodded, and gazed down, "there's someone here I owned an apology to. Mabel," he said, his eyes turning again to her, "you... were right. I'm part of this now, and... you're all my friends." Mabel's body temperature rose considerably. "I'm not bailing on you. Not when you need me here the most."

"Great sp-speech," Graupner called out, pulling Zander's gaze to him. "A little t-too heroic for someone who just sings a lot."

"He also Gardens, holds awesome parties, and has great tastes in people!" Mabel yelled at him. Dipper chuckled as Arline sighed and shook her head. Zander, far above her, laughed.

"That aught to give me the edge," he said, giving Mabel a beaming smile. "So... I'm here to give you three a way out."

"What?!" Graupner snarled, laughing viciously at the musician. "And how is that?"

"Easy," Zander shrugged, "I fight you and your stupid dogs, and they go save the day like real heroes."

"Wait, you're not serious," Arline asked him, glancing between them, especially looking to the fireball above Graupner, "he'll kill you!"

Zander blinked, and looked to the man in question. Sizing up the so-called Warlock for a moment, he grinned.

"Eh. I got this," he chuckled.

Graupner screamed and threw the fireball above him, straight at the musician. Reflexes to remember, the trio below watched as Zander took to the ledge and handrails of the bridge he stood on, and leapt downwards. Landing to the first bridge he could, the fireball above exploded, splitting the bridge he was atop with a sickening, searing sizzle. Molten steel rained down, striking other metal supports, and even other Lycanropes, who burst into flame.

"See?" Zander said, now only a one bridge above those atop the trio, "he's a lousy shot." The Warlock snarled.

"But you're also fighting these things!" Dipper pointed out to the sorrounding Lycanropes.

"Mmhmm," Zander nodded.

"Zander," Arline asked to him, her eyes connecting with his, "are you sure about this?"

The musician laughed. "No idea, but hey, I'm inspired now. So whether you like it or not, I'm doing it."

Mabel beamed up. "I take back everything I said about you. You really are awesome."

"Oh shush," Zander chuckled. Reaching behind himself, he retrieved a large pair of heavy-duty hedge clippers, and gripped them as he let his guitar hand off it's straps, around his neck. With a roar he said, "Now, get ready to run!"

Those below stared as Zander made his move. With the heavy clippers in hand, he snapped off the closest wire that supported the bridge. The entire weight of the metal platform buckled, and two more snapped away, freeing the bridge to gravity's control. Zander was now free-surfing down a falling platform, soaring downwards.

A moment later it crashed into the earth, instantly crushing nearly fifteen more Lycanropes as he made his appearance to the battle. Tossing aside the clippers into the face of a Lycanrope, he grasped the handle of his guitar with both ends and swung.

Three Lycanropes were lifted off their feet and throw into the air by Zander, who roared terribly. Now standing between a stunned Warlock and the trio, he turned to his friends. "GO!" he shouted, and spun back.

"Okay!" Arline shouted, and whipped around, "you heard the man!"

"Right!" Dipper said, and made for the still slanted, semi-supported bridge and began to climb it up.

"Zander," Mabel called to him, following Dipper backwards, "don't get hurt! Please!" she begged, and left him to his battle. Arline was last to start climbing, kicking aside a few Lycanropes trying to take advantage of the twins. She glanced to Zander, swinging with ferocity and speed against the hundreds of enemies before him.

"I was wrong," she said calmly.

Zander glanced back. His green eyes met hers. Focus and determination from one another met, and Zander shrugged.

"Keep the twins safe!" he told her with a quick point. Arline nodded, and hurried up with them. As she too started to climb the heavy slant of the broken bridge, Zander spun around and leapt, slamming his guitar against a pair of Lycanropes, mashing them into plant-goop.

A flare of heat caused Zander to roll to the side. Standing quickly to his feet, fully surrounded by enemies, he looked to his hands. The guitar had been singed and melted away.

"Man, I loved that edition too," Zander said, and tossed the remaining handle over his shoulder, sticking into an eye of one of the Lycanropes.

"You've lost y-your weapon, Maximillion," Graupner snarled, traces of the flame from his hand still heating the air. "Just lie down and die like a good b-boy."

Zander grinned, and pulled at his jacket, revealing his muscular body. Chest bare, he smiled back pleasantly to the Warlock. With one hand reaching around his neck, he withdrew his scarf. Tying it around both his hands, he made a taught weapon between his fists, and he flexed his body, the strange, star-speckled like scarf resisting his mighty body's strength. He said gently, "I don't think so." Yelling for war's sake, Zander thumped his chest with both hands, and charged.

The twins made if on the stable section of the bridge before Arline did. More Lycanropes climbed after them, digging their sharp claws into the earth for leverage. Trained well, the twins both lashed out against he attackers before they had a chance to make purchase and footing. Lycanrope after Lycanrope fell to the earth with a resounding crash. Arline finally leapt up, upper-cutting an encroaching enemy as she did.

"Let's go!" Arline shouted.

Mabel and Dipper followed orders, rushing towards the slanted upwards walkways. She dared a brief pause to look down, checking on Zander. True to his word, he spun around constantly, kicking out and punching as he fought for his life. Terror and fear for her friend and ultimate celebrity crush settled in a she watched again and again his life seem to be on the edge, and he battled his way free.

"Mabel!" Arline pulled her away, forcing her to run. "We have to leave him! He _asked_ us to!"

"I know!" Mabel cried, rushing to keep up with Dipper. "He better not die or anything!"

"C'mon! Up here!" Dipper shouted as the continued to rush upward.

Some thirty seconds later, the three made it to the top, by the exit. The bike still laid to rest, the Mabel rushed on the bike, and noticed a small sticky-note on one of the speedometers.

'Go kick butt. -Zander'

Tears of joy welling in her eyes, Mabel turned the bike on, grinning like she had she had been kissed by a god. The two behind her, she blasted the bike forward.

Through the tunnels, Mabel raced. Lights and barren surface blared by her and the trio as they made their escape from Graupners trap. They had a chance now- if only to stop Omir once and for all.

"He better not get hurt," Mabel gulped as she lifted the sticky note and put it into her pocket.

"If there's someone who has always surprised me," Dipper told her, "it's Zander. He'll be fine! He's not dumb... I think," Dipper added quietly.

"If he was able to do that awesome dive into battle," Arline pointed out, "he's okay. We just need to get to the surface and find my Master before he can get to the stone, and help him fight Omir."

"Right," Mabel nodded.

Turning down a hallway, she heard, much closer than she had expected, the yells and cries of battle. Instinct kicked in, and she realized she had found one of the holes leading to the surface. The bike spun, and she blasted down the newer, rocky tunnel.

"Mabel, you ready for more?" Dipper shouted as the sounds got louder and louder.

"Mounted troupe, Mystery Squad Delta is a go!" Mabel declared proudly.

"God you guys," Arline laughed as she patted Dipper's back, "you two never know when to quit being adorable!"

Dipper blushed and shook his head, mumbling quietly to himself. Mabel laughed loudly and found the dirt and rubble that lead to the street- of one of the newer emergence holes. Eyes scanning for least resistant path, she swerved the bike and climbed up the hole.

"Engaging the enemy!" Mabel roared as the bike bounded out of the hole, and flattened a Lycanrope immediately before it.

Gravity Falls was a mess. Every direction was fighting and war. Each of the three scanned around, looking for a direction to escape from, and yet found none. Mabel, gritting her teeth, chose then her best guess.

Straight ahead, into as many enemies as she could.

The bike slammed into three quickly, and Mabel dived the bike aside, avoiding a Manotaur, who was currently completing a dramatic airborne wrestling technique against two Lycanropes at once.

"HOLD 'EM STEADY!"

Manly Dan rushed past the twins on their bike, his axe overhead. The Manotaur and the two Lycanropes turned, and the three screamed in unison as the mountaineer and lumberjack brought his axe down.

One swipe severed the first Lycanrope head, and the second swing severed the other's. the Manotaur, looking shocked at the huge man, started to stand, shaking himself off.

"Huh," Chutzpar shrugged, "not bad. Could work on your form a bit there, tough guy."

"Coming from you!?" Manly Dan got in the face of the mythical creature, his huge eyes bulging. "Not bad!"

"Aww, thanks homie!" the Manotaur said, patting Manly Dan's shoulder with a loud thud. The lumberjack barely budged. "WOW!" Chutzpar gasped, "you don't even fall over when I touch you! What's your name!?"

"I'm Manly DAN!" the Lumberjack roared, and spun, lashing out with his axe, severing three more Lycanrope heads. "YEAH!"

"Sup! I'm Chutzpar. You need to hang with my posse more!" he grinned and nodded, and quickly punched out sideways, smashing away another enemy, "we'll get you an authentic rite of passage in no time with grit like yours!"

"That sounds RAD!" Manly Dan roared, splitting a Lycanrope down the middle.

The three continued forward, leaving behind the unifying fight of Manly and Manotaur. Around them, there were signs of unity. Gib the Goblin now rode atop Toby Determined, his musket shoot down Lycanropes who attempted to lunge at either Toby or Tyler, who still fruiously peddled around. He actually rode next to Mabel for a split second.

"Hi kiddies!" he winked to the three, and turned the handlebars away, letting Toby smack another enemy with his hockey stick.

"YOU!"

Mabel turned the bike to a screeching stop. Before them a pair of well-dressed middle figures stood, one of them with a shotgun trained on Mabel and Dipper. Preston Northwest held the gun out, his eyes furiously bulging.

"The heck are you doing here!?" Dipper shouted.

"And what gives with aiming at us!?" Arline added.

"We know you've taken our daughter and thrown her into this mess!" they shouted, "we asked Zander if he had seen her, and he said he hadn't! Now," Preston lifted the shotgun to them, "_where is she_!?"

"What are you talking about?" Mabel shouted at them, desperate to get the bike going agian, "Zander said you threatened to call the police on him if he didn't return Pacifica to you!"

"A fabrication!" the mother Northwest added.

"As if we would ever threaten another person of status such as Maximillion!" Father Northwest proclaimed. "Last time, where is she!?"

Mabel turned, looking to Dipper and Arline. Zander's convictions had been... false? These two, the two elite Northwests, wouldn't have dared enter town, especially on a day like this- where it rained plant bodies from the sky. Yet, here they were, searching for Pacifica.

Had Zander not been truthful?

"We don't-" Mabel started.

A terrible cry from the crowd turned their attention. High above, a resounding boom echoed from the clouds. A dragon soared down, a glowing light emanating from it's mouth. Pacifica, atop the Dragon Magenta, pointed down. Goggles on her face, she rode the dragon into battle as a war-mount.

"Young lady, you get down here this instant!" her mother screamed as Pacifica and the dragon made a pass over a large collection of Lycanropes. A fireball the size of a person slammed down and exploded, tossing charred bits of Lycanrope around them.

"Haha! YEAH!" Dipper hollared and hooted with Mabel and Arline as Pacifica made a return pass, blowing up more of the Lycanropes with her prize dragon.

"PACIFICA!"

Her father's voice caught her attention, and Pacifica steered the dragon towards the clearing of combat nearby the five. Magenta the dragon took up the entire space, forcing other combatants and townsfolk to run for cover. The moment she landed, Pacifica leapt off Magenta, and lifted her glasses, marching towards her parents.

"My god, young lady," Preston pointed at her, "you are in big trouble!"

"Huge trouble!" her mother added.

"We could have left town for safety an hour ago, but you had to go off and check on your boyfriend, or whatever he is!" Preston continued, "now, abandon this false hope of fighting for this backwards town, and follow your mother and I! We have an escort just out of town waiting to-"

Pacifica had marched right up to her father, and with speed to shock the trio on the bike, she snatched the shotgun end, and wrenched it from her father. The older man, stunned and shaken beyond belief, watched as Pacifica took the gun, and checked it, breaking open the break-lock barrel.

"Where are the other rounds?" she asked to her father. He numbly shook, uncertain to what she was doing. Pacifica studied him, and saw a small ammo pouch on his shoulder by a strap. "God dad," she sighed as she tore that from him too, and wrapped it around her own shoulder, "I'm just saving the town and my entire home. Not that big a deal, gosh."

The gun in her hand, she turned from her father and made back for the dragon.

"Young lady!" Preston marched after her, "you will stop this nonsense this instant!"

"Or what?!" Pacifica shouted over her shoulder, "you'll ground me?"

"I'll cut you from the family entirely!" he shouted viciously, spit spraying from his mouth. Pacifica stalled, hearing the words from her father.

"Preston," the mother's soft voice carried next to the Patriarch of the family, but Preston Northwest held up his hand to his wife.

"No. We are done with these allowances. You are disgracing the Northwest reputation by these ridiculous things! Dating a commoner! Staying the night at a non-sanctioned home inside town! Disgusting! AND NOW THIS!" he pointed to the dragon, "acting like some stupid white knight! The lowest of low!"

Pacifica slowly turned, her eyes clear of emotion.

"Fine."

She turned and started climbing the dragon.

Her father was spluttering. "F-f-f-f-fine!?" he demanded.

"Yeah. Do whatever," she replied, "kick me out. Sure. I'm okay with that. I have other friends and... other family, "she turned, and looked to the twins. The two nodded to Pacifica, who grinned back.

"B-but, Pacifica," Preston muttered.

Ignoring her father, Pacifica spoke to the twins, "you guys do what you got to do. I'm taking responsibility and saving this town. I mean, I'm good at that now, right?" she asked them with a wink.

"Don't worry about us!" Dipper called.

"Rock it, dragon warrior!" Mabel called to Pacifica, who smiled devilishly back to them.

As the dragon rider took off, leaving two stunned parents in the dust, the twins re-positioned the bike forward again, and sped off, nearly knocking over Preston Northwest as they did. Arline turned and checked on the rich duo as they left, watching them scamper into an alleyway.

"God, she really did rise from a rotten background, didn't she?" Arline asked.

"She's awesome!" Mabel said, roaring her bike.

"Even if she's kind of a jerk sometimes, "Dipper added, "she's still great."

Arline whistled. "Coming from the critical Dipper Pines, I guess she can't be that bad."

"Heh," Dipper shrugged, once again holding onto Mabel securely, "I've been wrong once or twice before. But we know Pacifica too well," Dipper added, glancing up to the sky as the Dragon flew over, "she'll be great in the end."

An explosion ahead turned the three away from the clearing. With a short burst of speed from the bike, Mabel found none other than her two friends, along with Wendy's old comrades, all atop a pile of cars, fending away a cluster of Lycanropes.

"Get off, loser!" Tambry shouted, striking one across the jaw with a loosened lead pipe.

"Swing, batter batter!" Lee shouted as he took a powerful club to another coming enemy, knocking it into the air with his might.

"Looks like you've all got it," Mabel called out to the six, who stopped and spotted them.

"It's those kids," Nate nudged Thompson, who nodded, his mouth open as he heaved with exhaustion.

"Yeah!" he gasped, "her friends!"

"Mabel! Dipper!" Grenda shouted as she waved to them, "we're kicking butt! Don't worry about us!"

"You're sure?" Mabel asked, slowly driving by them, the engine of her pink colored bike rumbling gently.

"Absolutely," Candy gave the trio a quick thumbs up.

"Incoming!" Lee shouted, drawing attention.

Five Lycanropes started to claw onto the pile of cars, trying their hardest to tear at Lee and Nate's feet. As they stepped back, Grenda rushed forward, kicking out twice with impressively high sweeps for her figure.

"NO RIDE FOR YOU!" Grenda roared, knocking four of the five aside. The last one managed to leap up atop her, roaring into her face as she fell backwards. "I DO IT BETTER! RAAAARW!" she screamed, her voice cracking as she punched upwards as hard as her arm allowed her.

Fist ripping out of the back of the monster, the Lycanrope fell limp as Grenda shoved it aside and stood, shaking. She was mildly clawed, but not hurt enough to relent. "GAAH!" she roared, and she held a hand to her throat. "Oh no!" she gasped, her voice changing. "My voice! I screamed too hard again! DAMN IT!" she shouted, stomping on the car with a loud clang.

"Your voice... it's-" Dipper started, hearing the heavy, hard-set tones that Grenda had once always had.

"Magnificent," Mabel beamed at Grenda.

"Thanks Mabel!" Grenda called, her trained, feminine voice entirely gone, and she gave a thumbs up to Mabel. Candy lit a Molotov cocktail, and tossed it at a cluster of approaching Lycanropes, who all promptly burst into flame.

"Go save the day!" Candy told the trio as she lit yet another bottle of clear liquid, the four older teens behind her hollering with the growing flames.

As Mabel revved the bike and the wheels spun faster, Arline called out to them, "don't burn down the town while we're away!"

Escaping the battles and tightly packed crowds took only a few moments for Mabel, weaving in, out, and around smaller skirmishes. The last person they passed was none other than McGucket, powering up what appeared to be a handheld and body-strapped Tesla cannon of sorts. The smoke passed, and the town began to shrink behind them as the open highway lay before them- the last obstacle for the three before making it back to the Mystery Manor.

"Well, I don't see smoke on the horizon towards the woods," Dipper stated, scanning the sky, "so that's good."

"Yeah," Mabel added, as the din of war behind them settled away and was drowned by the purr of the engine, "that is good."

She turned the bike, and found the highway a long span of trees separated by concrete. Some few minutes ahead, they would be at the Mystery Manor. Mabel gulped, and adjusted her pink glasses as she felt the dawning confrontation approach with each passing meter.

"It'll be okay," Arline told them.

"Who said we're afraid?" Dipper blurted out. Arline leaned over and stared at him, an understanding smile visible. "Okay... a little nervous," Dipper corrected himself, "but... not scared."

"Don't worry about it," Arline said with a brief sigh, "my master is going to help out. He always does. We're going to save the day."

* * *

The shaking of the old elevator barely moved Omir. He watched the ascending walls of dirt and stone as he had for the past month or so- in his own underground caverns, desperately searching for his own path into this vault. In the end though, he found it- by mere diplomacy and holding the right cards.

"Look," Stanly Pines spoke up finally, after a few minutes of silence, "I... I need to know from you: how did you find out about this? It's kind of a big secret," he told Omir. As the once old looking man, now younger appearing adult, started to open his mouth, Stan interjected- "and don't you dare say 'magic'."

Omir scoffed and smiled. "It came to me in a dream."

"A dream?" Stan repeated, the bottom floor coming close.

"Yes. Three years ago," Omir explained as the doors opened, and Stan walked ahead, beckoning the Sorcerer to follow, "a voice spoke to me. A muse told me that it saw pity on my many failed attempts at proving my love for... for _her_," he said wistfully. "He gave me an area of the United States to look, and in return, all he asked was that I do as I wished and attempted to return my precious golden soul back to this world."

"Wait, golden soul?" Stan asked, stopping in place as the lights in the control booth flickered on slowly, revealing the immense, but outdated, technology around them.

"Yes," Omir turned, smiling so happily he could have been a child, "Haddiya. My... my love. And today," he stepped forward, approaching a large panel of windows, "I finally see her again."

Stan sighed. "I don't know, every time I've ever heard the phrase, 'a dream told me' and it's been stuff like this," Stan said as he stepped over, and flicked on a series of switches, "things always got worse."

"Please," Omir chuckled, "save your ghost stories. I'm a man of experience. Everything I was promised has so far been true. I stand now before my newest, greatest chance to return to greatest mage this world has ever seen," he stated as the inside lights of the test chamber flickered on slowly, defeating the overbearing shadows with static hum.

The room was a mess. Scars of fire and burned lines in the earth split in all manners of directions. There were fallen support beams and torn chunks of rock and steel alike. Stan's eyes glazed over, seeing the image of the inside chamber, and what had happened three years ago.

The fight with him and his brother again. Possessed by the demon, desperate to split the portal while active, and flood the world with un-reality.

The twins had stopped it, along with the others, at a heavy cost.

They forever lost Stanford.

Omir's eyes widened as he stared ahead. There, past the carnage that dug into the earth, the portal lay for them. Inactive and dusty, it was a idol of past intelligences now gone forever. Omir turned to Stan, his eyes shimmering with excitement.

"Take me inside the room," Omir demanded.

"Look, can't you see the damages!?" Stan pointed, "nothing good ever came from that thing!" he pointed ahead to the portal.

Omir closed his eyes, took a long breath, and spoke again. "Take. Me. Inside. The. Room."

Stan stared up at the man, worn and mildly hurt, but still plenty capable. With his own heavy sigh, Stanley Pines moved around the Sorcerer, his body heavy as he neared the door. As he did, the thick metal door, rusted by the welded nails, slid open. Omir grinned, and walked past Stan, who spotted something leaning against the desk.

The desk by the door held a particular object that Stan remembered being a pain in his rear the last time he saw his brother- something made by Fiddleford McGucket. A weapon. Something far more powerful than a hunting rifle or shotgun. As Omir stepped inside, staring at the portal, Stan slowly approached the object, praying it still worked.

"It is not powered any more?" Omir asked aloud, stunning Stan into a jump.

"Huh!? What isn't!?" Stan asked, trying his best to sound innocent. Omir turned back to him, pointing to the Portal. "Oh. Oh yeah, no. Havn't been putting any juice into it. No power these days."

"Ah. A shame," Omir clicked his tongue once, and turned, lifting the stone up into the air.

From the stone, a burst of electrical energy burst into the air. Arcing with faster and faster bursts of power, the stone glowed violently, emitting rays of light of all intensity, colors, and speeds. Stan held his hands to his eyes as the Sorcerer began to hold the stone closer and closer to the portal.

Out from the field of energy constantly pouring out of the stone, the Portal began to meet with it. The electric tethers found their meeting by the metal construct, and sheer, undiluted power entered the huge device. Stan found his grip by the strange, goofy-looking contraption. A small knob remained on the side, displaying a single phrase inside the device 'three months'. With a loud twist, Stan turned it to 'A Lifetime'.

Stepping inside, Stan pointed the weapon right at Omir.

The Sorcerer had spun to face Stan, his dark, glowing eyes meeting with Stan's. The light of the stone reflected in both their visions, as they faced one another.

"Don't make a mistake again, Stanly," Omir shouted over the power he held in his hands. "I've been very lenient with you."

"If you knew me as well as you knew that portal," Stan called back, "you'd know I'd do anything to protect my family!"

Omir stalled, glancing quickly behind him to see the portal, slowly glowing and emitting light. Symbols along the circle began to crackle and fizz with their own light-blue electricity. "Your point?!" Omir said to Stan.

"I'm ninety nine percent sure whatever you think you're about to do," Stan told him, "isn't going to be good for me or my family! That means you stop now, or I pull this trigger!"

"Stan, you've already seen what I can do against bullets. Lasers are no different," Omir rolled his eyes, his staff held before him, separating him and Stan.

"This isn't a laser gun, smart one," Stan smirked. "It's a mind-gun."

Omir's eyes flashed and focused on the weapon. He was barely able to read the measurement. The light bulb atop the strange device began to glow brighter and brighter. Stan pulled the trigger, holding steady.

"What the-" Omir barely had time to say.

The device burst out, a constant ray of shimmering blue, horrible light. Omir roared and thrust out his staff in reply. As the light connected with the white staff, Omir gasped. His entire body was being pushed back, the power of the device seemingly so strong that his physical body couldn't resist it.

"No... No!" Omir screamed, the sound of the laser beam and the stone overwhelming.

"Say... goodbye... to... your memories!" Stan roared, take step by step further into the room, pushing Omir further away, and closer to the Portal.

More electricity shot between the stone and the portal, connecting at a rapid pace. The staff in his hands trembled as Omir strained at the power of the weapon Stan used against him. His eyes studied the danger in Stan's eyes, unwilling to surrender now. Omir scowled, and lowered the stone.

"NO!" Omir roared.

He placed the stone next to his staff with a resounding-

BOOM.

The energy he had used to power the entire Portal shot through the staff and traveled up the ray of the gun- a feedback attack. Stan saw the attack too late. Not that he could move- all his energy and strength was dedicated into holding the gun steady as he fought the power of magic in the staff.

The gun in his hands exploded into a fireball of purple and red. The shockwave was enough to send him sprawling backwards, flying through the air as the dirt and stone before him was torched. The blue light faded as the glass panel that separated the control chamber from the test chamber caved in as Stan crashed through it.

Stanly Pines fell to the floor with glass surroundings him, his eyes closed and his mouth open. Without a single movement, he came to rest before the panel, scratched, burned, and beaten.

Inside the chambers, the Sorcerer panted. The stone in his hand crackled with electricity up his arm. His eyes glowed for a moment of bright blue light. Finally he shook his head, sealed his eyes shut, and then opened them with a gasp.

"That... could have... been bad," he sighed, looking to the broken window. A frown came over him, and he slowly turned. "Thank goodness for the stone's power. That could... could have been horrible." Staring at the glass, watching and listening as some of it fell from the shattered panel, Omir scoffed.

"A fool," Omir grumbled, and slowly raised his hand back up above him, towards the portal. "An honest fool, though. He did say he was a con-man," Omir chuckled to himself, and the electricity once again began to pour from the surface of the stone.

With the currents of power racing into the metal and wires, Omir finally lowered the stone to the ground, releasing it from his grip.

A loud whir started, and as the dark circle between the many symbols lit up, a burst of light appeared, illuminating the entire rocky chamber with shimmering light. Omir dropped to his knees, his staff clattering aside.

"It... worked..." he said, his lips trembling. "It actually worked?" he asked himself, and looked to his hands. "All the theory, all the planning, all... all the years passed, looking for a way," he said to himself, "they've meant something... I'm finally there."

Pushing himself off his knees and back to his feet, Omir laughed. He gleefully laughed, holding his stomach with one hand as he let a weight, hundreds of years in the making, slide off of him forever.

Thirty seconds of joyful bliss, he sighed and wiped away the gathering tears in his eyes. His left hand opened, and his staff soared into it. He placed it against the ground, now vertical with him. Omirs right hand opened, and the stone before him began to float off the ground.

"Now... to change a dimensional gate into a reality gate..." he murmured, and lifted his open right hand out, and placed the finger tips against the stone. As rainbow light shone out, he closed his eyes. "I will reach into the darkness and find you. Only you... Haddiya."

* * *

Last update before the end. This is it, folks.

The dire situation has fallen together, and we're about to see what happens when all the pieces on the board meet. No more delays. Time to hold 'em or fold 'em.

And on a less serious note, some awesome stuff happened too! :D Man, i bet more than a few of you were happy to see our favorite characters kick some butt, right? :) Hopefully you were, because I certainly was.

Also- huge apology for those who have been reviewing and i've not gotten back to yet. I've been super-busy with work, and hopping onto my email has (surprisingly) been difficult. Know that I've been able to read your reviews still (yay smarty-phones!) and have loved them! :) Thanks again guys- I'll try harder to get back to you all. Sory again!

Anyway, I'm off to do some work for a friend. Hope you all enjoyed.

Next week is the last update for Season two. Prepare for 11 out of 10 on the scale of crazy.

-EZB


	62. Winds of Change: Part 2

Amidst the wind passing through their hair, across their face, through their clothing, warnings came to the three atop the bike. Warnings of something to come. Something dangerous; something terrifying. That danger, regardless, was Dipper and Mabel Pine's destination, along with Arline Hirsch.

"You feel that, Mabel?" Dipper asked as she turned the corner, where a near dozen or more signs indicated the 'World Famous Mystery Manor'.

Mabel nodded.

"Feel what?" Arline asked, looking to the twins.

Mabel glanced at her master in the gently trembling mirror of her bike. "Just... stuff," she tried explaining.

She needn't say any more- the confirmation that she too felt inside her mind was enough to drive Dipper quiet. As their lives had taught them, they had many differences in opinions and feelings that separated them. At times, and in particular cases, this flipped into the polarity- they shared feelings. A strong sense of retribution, a fondness for family and good company, and, more so trained than anything else, a sense of danger.

Mabel felt sick to her stomach from the dread she felt in her gut. It overwhelmed her as waves of pain may have, driving her senses into an overload. She wanted the wind to stop, and the cold tingling her skin to cease. Maybe she could explain the pain in her heart. Maybe then she could talk to Dipper, and understand it more rationally, something she admitted to not being the best at. Maybe...

... maybe this time, there was more than cause for this feeling.

Before them, the hills of the woods lifted and fell as the bike coursed over pebble and dirt. Before long, they were nearing the building- the rooftops in sight.

"Mabel," Arline reached over Dipper and patted the girl's shoulder, "you can wind down the engine."

"Huh?" Mabel glanced over her shoulder.

"You're shaking the entire bike," Arline called.

"She's not doing that," Dipper said with a gulp.

Mabel stared forward, frowned, and slid the bike to a stop, right before the last of the many winding hills came to an end. Halted and waiting, the three gave pause and let their senses speak to them. Vibrations. Shaking. Trembling of earth too consistent and level to be a mere earthquake.

"Oh no," Dipper gasped.

"Well!?" Arline shouted, shocking the twins into relief. "Get us moving!" Mabel nodded and once again powered the bike into a roaring start. No sooner had she crested over the last incline than she spotted something against the ground and cried out.

"Wendy!" Mabel shouted as she swerved to the side, giving the girl a wide berth.

Against the earth, Wendy Corduroy was born against the rock tendrils that rose up like a rib-cage, holding her down and pinning her in, what the twins could only imagine, was a painful vice-grip. Dipper was off the bike the instant he saw her, nearly falling flat on his face as the bike was still moving at a considerable speed. Arline too leapt off, to a much higher standard of grace.

"Wendy," Dipper breathed to her as Wendy's eyes flittered to him and Arline. Mabel quickly parked the bike and raced over, abandoning the bike to fall on it's side, surely scratching some of the nice pink paint off with a loud crunch.

"Hold here!" Arline told Dipper as she reached her hands down and placed them against Wendy's neck. Dipper did as she was told and held Wendy in place. Arline, lifting her hands up above the red-head, she shouted with a short cry. Punching down, she snapped away the thick, layered stone that had wrapped around her. As Mabel slid next to her, Wendy coughed and stretched her mouth.

"Blah!" Wendy spat to the side, avoiding the trio, "that was just not cool!" she groaned, "I looked freaking awesome for a bit too," she told them with a shake of her head, "but that old fart-"

"Steindorf is here?" Arline asked urgently, her eyes widening. Wendy quieted, shocked at the rawness of Arline's voice. Still, the red-head nodded. "Then... the shaking is the portal," Arline gasped, standing and putting her hands to her head.

"Let's get you up!" Dipper shouted, and also readied himself for a punch against the stone. With a similar shout, Dipper launched his fist out. With a dull thud, he cringed and held his hand closer. "C'mon! It looked so easy!" he grumbled, holding his fist.

"I think you cracked it, actually," Wendy pointed out. Dipper paused, studying her with a hidden appreciation. "You got this," she said to him as Mabel laughed at Dipper's expression. She and Dipper struck out in unison, breaking the sides of the pincers holding down Wendy.

"A the warrior princess is saved!" Mabel said, dusting her hands off.

"I'm pretty sure, at this point, that's you," Wendy returned the favor.

"Nah! I have the heart of the lover, not the fighter," Mabel said, putting the back of her hand against her forehead, "for I would gladly take a friend over a foe!" Wendy chuckled at Mabel until she felt Dipper's stares, and she turned.

"You're... okay?" Dipper asked.

"I've been better," she grumbled, and turned to a patch of dirt some dozen feet away. The twins turned and saw as well- her broken axe. "Man... my dad would kill me if he knew I broke his favorite axe," she mumbled, her eyes darkening, "if he could kill me."

"We can discuss more fun stuff like that later," Mabel said, her voice a tad higher than normal as Dipper's face took a darker look as he listened to Wendy, "and deal with the now. Right?"

"Right," Wendy nodded and started to stand. She suddenly gasped and whipped around. "They're inside!" she shouted and rushed with a burst of distance that startled Arline, who had taken a few steps closer to the Manor. Wendy race in first, and her eyes darted quickly to the ceiling. "Soos!" she shouted.

As the trio traced her inside, they stood at the door, stunned. Soos was seemingly sunken into the wooden ceiling, like it had become a liquid and drank him until only part of his face, notably his nose and eyes, and his considerably stomach were visible. Dipper's eyes settled first on the broken open secret door past Soos, and then on his friend, where worry found their way into his gaze.

"Soos!" Mabel cried out, and leapt up, trying to reach at him. Her efforts went fruitless, until Dipper stepped under Soos, and nodded for Mabel. "Right," Mabel said, quickly grasping his indication. She ran at her brother, who bent forward, his hands grasped together. With a small budge up, Mabel was lifted by her brother as she jumped. Outstretched, she managed to reach upwards and grasp onto one of the boards that had melded over Soos's body. "Aha! Got it!" she cried. Her fingers locked in place, Mabel gave herself a jerk, trying to pull the wood off him. "Uh," she mumbled, looking down, "so I admit I wasn't expecting it to hold my weight."

"Soos's patch-job for you," Wendy said with a shake of her head, "he did repair the ceiling in here earlier this summer."

Dipper reached up and pushed his hands under Mabel's feet, giving her support. "Try pulling it down now," he suggested.

"Sure!" Mabel nodded. With her brother giving her weight to her movement, she pulled and swung herself about, trying to tear at the wood further.

The ground trembled violently. As a minor earthquake would, Dipper found his own footing difficult, and swayed. Mabel teetered off of him and collapsed onto his body, crashing down onto her brother. Wendy and Arline both found objects to cling onto- namely the cashier counter.

As the trembling started, it ended as quickly. The four gave a long pause, looking to one another. Silently they scanned for significant changes or damage to one another. When they could find none, they moved again. The twins stood back up as Wendy ran back outside.

"Where are you going?" Dipper called to her.

"We need to get to the portal!" Arline shouted to them, turning to the still opened secret door. As she ran over, the twins still struggled to stand and help Soos up. "We can get him after we stop the Sorcerer!"

"Soos can help us!" Dipper grunted as he lifted Mabel up with his strength, holding her by the legs.

"Not to harp on Soos," Arline retorted, "but we need fighters. Soos is a little too nice to go on beating on people."

"You'd think that," Mabel said, reaching it and pulling on another board across Soos's body. "He's a pile of power ready to pounce."

Arline winced and turned, looking down the stairs. The earth and building still trembled. "I'm going down. Meet me by the elevator when you-"

"How long did you know about the portal?" Dipper asked.

Arline turned, looking back to him. "Huh?" she asked. The twins stared at her, a penalizing glare that shook the martial artist. "Uh... since Summerween. Stop looking at me like that, you guys are bugging me out."

"You were going to tell us?" Mabel asked as she once again hung off of Soos's containment, straining at her own pull.

"As soon as I had the chance and it was relevant," Arline sighed. "Look, after Stan and I had our little, uh, differences put aside, he showed me it. He said that if anyone would come looking for something dangerous, he said it would be that," she pointed down the stairs, "the portal. I... I knew there was also the stone of conservation, so I just kept it in the back of my mind," she admitted.

"Here!"

A voice behind the twins had them almost topple again. Dipper twisted at the hip as Mabel spun her arms. Wendy had rushed in, the head of her broken axe in her hands. "This aught to do it!" she said, and looked to Mabel, holding the sharpened object in her hands up to her. "Go for it!" she with gusto.

Mabel nodded to Dipper, who stood aside. Knowing Mabel, the fall would be messy and possibly damaging to the floor. She turned herself again as a monkey, hanging off the one plank of wood, facing Soos. "You ready, buddy?" she asked the handyman. Rooted to the spot, Soos's eye nodded for his head. "And a-one, and a-two, and a-"

Mabel punched out against the side of the board with the axehead in her hand. Wood splintered and split with her might, breaking free one side of Soos. As his weight and own gravitational forces settled in, Soos quickly fell out and past Mabel, who landed next to him gently. Soos's landing was more akin to a boulder- with a loud thud against wood.

"Ahh, thanks hambone," Soos grinned, giving Mabel a pat on the arm, "I was starting to understand why trees always seem to act so cranky."

"I know, right?" Wendy asked, her eyes widening in empathy, "I always thought they were just being grouchy, but now-"

"On the topic at hand, please?" Arline called out, disrupting the quick reunion between the four.

"Yeah!" Soos turned to Arline, "let's get down there an- WAIT!" he bellowed, and rushed aside, heading towards the hallway.

"Dang it, Soos!" Arline shouted, watching him go.

"He'll only take a second," Mabel assured Arline.

"I'll be back in a minute," Soos declared quickly, popping his head inside the room once as he spun from the hallway to his friends, and then back out again. Arline grumbled and looked to the three.

"Coming?" she demanded.

"We'll wait for Soos," Dipper announced, and the two ladies nodded.

"Okay, I'm heading down," Arline sighed, nearly bouncing in place with her own nervous energy, "catch up with me as soon as you can."

"Don't kill Omir without us!" Wendy called as Arline flew down the stairs.

"Kill," Mabel laughed as Dipper raced to the hallway exit, "no one is going to die."

"What?" Wendy gasped, "I'm totally okay with having at least one bad-guy die today."

"But what if we just have him make amends for his wrong doings," Mabel suggested as she and Wendy slowly followed after Dipper, who had paused at the corner of the hallway entrance to wait for them, "you know, punch him a few times, make fun of him for being a jerk, and then we can all be friends afterwards and have this all blow over. Sound cool?"

Wendy paused, giving the idea thought. "Fine. I get to punch him a _lot_ though," Wendy scowled as she and Mabel made it to Dipper, who turned to the right, following Soos.

"Soos?" Dipper called out. Wendy and Mabel peered around the brother, watching as Soos slowly entered Yuki's room, his eyes glued ahead.

Soos made no reply. His mouth had fallen open, his eyes peeled wide as he stared ahead. Fear washed over the trio as Soos continued to act as if his three friends were not twenty feet away calling to him. Dipper and Mabel rushed first, quickly followed by Wendy as they too were magnetically pulled to whatever Soos stared at.

The twins rounded the doorway and found the door swung open. That was, however, not the only thing that was different.

Yuki's position had changed. He now lay on his side. Across his body, bandages had become loose and not as form fitting. Remnants of healing aids stuck together, giving the room a sharp scent.

What caused the three new onlookers to be as stunned as Soos was that the exposed section of Yuki's face. He was smiling. Around him, on the areas of skin that had been left mildly unexposed, tiny flakes of what appeared to be ashes had fallen to the bedcovers.

"Those scars should never be able to heal," Wendy repeated the memory from Arline.

"That's impossible," Dipper noted, "he... he's getting better?"

Mabel let out a single, abrupt sob. Her eyes welled up. Grabbing onto her brother's numb shoulder, she shook him. "Pacifica is going to be soo happy!" she managed to slid out from her tightening throat.

"But how!?" Dipper barked out, stepping before the three, blocking Yuki's view, "how did this happen!? Yuki said himself that he was sure it would take a hundred years for his body to heal!"

"Maybe he was wrong?" Mabel stifled another sob with a hiccup.

"No," Soos quietly admitted, "it was Mister Steindorf." The three turned and rounded on him. "When I got locked up on the ceiling, Steindorf and Stan talked. Stan didn't want us to be hurt anymore, you see? He- he looked so scared and frightened. Then Mister Steindorf walked away, over this way, and started talking like he had done something. I... I needed to know-"

"The Sorcerer healed Yuki?" Wendy gasped. "Why?" Mabel gave a shy smile to him. "Don't you start-"

"Maybe he isn't all that bad," Mabel shrugged.

"Don't get sympathetic with him," Dipper begged.

"I'm not! I promise!" Mabel assured them, looking around as she wiped away tears from her eyes, "I still want to beat him up for good measure- so he gets that you can't do these kind of jerkish things to people. But maybe killing him is too... extreme?"

"Tell that to your master," Wendy said.

Mabel pursed her lips. "Well... I guess if we can't all get alo-"

The ground again shook. Violently trembling in place, the Manor swayed left and right, the basis of all support giving away with the movement of the earth. The quatro shouted, grabbing the walls, or each other in the twin's case, and holding for best support. The trembling shuffled Yuki in place, who's smile remained static on his face. As he shook, small bits of ash fell away from his form, giving occasional glances into new, very light skin.

The shaking again stopped, and the four looked to one another. A cry from far behind them caught their ears. "I think now is a great time to head downstairs, guys!" Arline's voice carried to them.

"Yuki's okay," Dipper decided for the group, "even if he's not healed, Omir only goes after people who get in his way. Yuki isn't even a threat, as far as we know," Dipper shrugged with the prospect of the unknown.

"Right. Let's go save the day!" Mabel cheered as she lead the charge. Wendy and Dipper hastened afterwards.

"To Mister Pines!" Soos bellowed, and followed suit

Down the hall and to the left the four went. Out into the gift shop, and down the steps of the secret stairway they went. Wendy's eyes began to dart around- of the four in the group, she had seen these walls the least. As her footsteps echoed with the others, the twins spotted Arline.

By the closed doors that would open to the elevator, they currently remained shut. Behind them, no elevator was present. She was facing the four, a sweat-covered, furrowed glare about her. As they made it to the last step, she turned, her hands against the metal grates.

"The elevator is below," she grumbled. "I can't call it up- been trying this entire time!" she turned to Soos, breathing heavily in her anger. "Got an idea, big guy?"

"Sure do!" Soos stated, and stepped forward. He looked to closed metal box to its left, and opened the lid. "Let's see... uh..." Soos quickly poked his finger against four of the ten buttons, each time displaying a strange shapes. After he did, nothing happened. "Hmm... how about squiggle, knot, pony-tail, and sheep-face?" he said.

"What?" Arline asked, turning to the twins, "what the heck is he talking about?"

"Those are constellations," Dipper quietly said as Soos worked his attempts, "made by our other Grunkle- Stanford. They act as key codes."

"Stan's brother, right?" Arline asked. The twins, and Wendy, all nodded grimly. "Huh, 'Kay. Got it. Soos," she turned to the handyman, "how's it coming?"

"Along. I think. I believe I am making significant progress," Soos said, punching in another two codes with no success.

The ground tremble, and loose dust and rock in the elevator shaft scattered and fell into the darkness. "We could hurry it up!" Dipper hissed as he looked down the shaft, "I'm not really sure we want to be taking this long!"

"Soos!" Wendy cried out.

"Almost got it!" Soos said, holding a shielding hand towards the four. "Uh... wrinkled paper, mad river-"

Arline shoved over Soos in a huff. As Soos staggered, rubbing his insulted arm, Arline gave her own tries. Rapidly punching in combinations. "C'mon!" she roared. With a third attempt gaining nothing, she punched the wall, leaving a large dent in the metal casing. "Forget this- we're going down my way!" she said. "We break this down!" she pointed to the metal grates.

"Oh! That's soo much easier," Soos said, and gently excused himself past Arline, and quickly lowered his body and grabbed at certain holes with his fingers. "And a-one, and a-two," he mumbled, and lifted.

"He does that too," Mabel quietly chuckled to Dipper.

Soos stood up straight, breaking apart the two piece sliding grate with easy. Lifting the light load, he turned and let it fall to the wall next to them with a clatter. As he dusted his hands, he turned to their stares and opened mouths in shock. "What?" he shrugged, "I'm a handyman. Also means I can break stuff easily too. Pretty useful if I need to scrap stuff, y'know?"

"Well, now that we got the doors open," Wendy said, leaning over the edge, "anyone got an idea how to get down the, uh, bottomless pit here?"

"That's certainly not bottomless," Mabel said to Wendy, "I would know."

"I know _this_," Arline said, and without a moment hesitation, leapt out to the cable of the elevator box. With her arms and legs wrapped around the thick metal, she gave them all a quick look. They stared in awe at her as she grinned. "Coming?" she asked, and then soared downwards, forwards the source of the localized earthquakes.

"Well that looks dangerous and reckless and absolutely something that mom and dad would never let us do," Mabel shrugged, and turned to Dipper, "So sorry bro, I'll go first so that-"

Dipper leapt out, reaching for the metal wires. As he did, his momentum carried him out and forward, and Dipper hollered as he spun around the cable, descending down.

"Meet you down below, Mabel!" Dipper called up, leaving his stunned sister agape.

"So, my brother has once again been taken away by a Doppelganger," Mabel sighed, her shocked gape of a smile shrinking into a clever grin, "should have seen it coming."

"Or maybe you two are growing up a bit?" Soos suggested. Wendy rolled her eyes, and patted Mabel's face.

"You first, Druid extraordinaire," she said with a wink.

Mabel's face beamed, and she too leapt off, and spun in large circles as she hooted and cheered. " Magnanimously Magnificent Masterfully Malleably Mendable Mabel the fourth, esquire: coming through!"

Above Mabel, two more rattles of wire told her the coming of Soos and Wendy. The air in the elevator shaft was stuffy and smelled of burnt dust- leaving an acrid taste on the twin's pallets as the air rushed by them. Below, they passed the first hidden door that lead, according to Dipper as he was the only other person who had been inside there, Stanford's secret library. Below that, they spotted the resting elevator.

Arline had already landed atop the hollow construct, watching the four to follow after her. One by one they landed, and Arline ushered them closer. She stood by a lift-able hatch, and held her finger over her mouth. Through the walls, a constant din of soft rumbling echoed out into the air, yet Arline spoke quietly.

"I go first. I'll check out the bottom. Once I wave you, come in. Clear?" she asked the four. They nodded. "Right." Arline took a quick breath, lifted the hatch and dropped in. As quiet as a shadow, she fell to the ground and looked around. Her eyes focused on something quickly, and she gasped.

"What is it?" Dipper asked.

"Stay up there," she said, not as quiet as twins had anticipated. Her voice also had trembled.

"Master," Mabel asked, "what is it?"

"Stay up there, just for a second longer," Arline asked, glancing up to them, "I need to check it first."

"Why? What do you see?" Dipper demanded, craning his head to the side, nearly butting Soos and Mabel out of the way to get a better look. He couldn't see through the entire laboratory, but he could see far enough. Half way down and past the lights of the now active equipment, something lay crumbled on the floor, lying against a wall. A something wearing a suit, and had small trickles of blood running from it.

"Dipper, stay up-"

Arline's words were ignored. Dipper leapt out, rolling onto the floor and raced forward. He saw the glass, the scorch marks, the blood. He finally saw Grunkle Stan's full visage, lying against the wall. Cuts bedded themselves through his clothing and against his shoulders and arms, and his face was limp.

"No," Dipper mumbled, not hearing the patter and rush of footsteps next to him. He reached forward, placing a hand across Stan's neck. He gasped- there was still a pulse. "He's alive," he sighed, and turned, seeing a pale Mabel and Arline.

"He came through the window?" Mabel asked, realizing the floor was covered in thick glass shards. "Is it too mainstream to walk through doors now?" She did however turn, and gasp. "Oh. That may be why he took the window." As the four came to her, they all gasped. "Yeah, that _exactly_."

Omir Steindorf, the Sorcerer self-proclaimed, stood before the portal. It shimmered with flashing lights, causing the ground the tremble and buckle under enormous bursts of power. From behind the Sorcerer, something produced a powerful beam of rainbow like light, showering the portal's activated surface with an unending barrage of colors.

As one color would strike the portal, it would fill the entirety of the circle inside, bathing the room in that shade of light. Before the light could fill entirely, a new color would take its place at the center, spreading outwards. Some colors moved faster, other's slower. To the observers, it was only a grand magical effect.

"He's tinkering with the portal, using the stone," Arline quietly announced.

"For his master plan, or whatever," Wendy agreed, creeping low behind the wall of the broken window pane.

"So, Stan's here," Dipper shoved a thumb over his shoulder, "and Omir is there," he pointed ahead with the same hand, "and we're here," he pointed to the floor they stood on. "What's our new plan?" he finally asked, "because I'll be honest: I thought just getting us here would be enough."

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, "that sometimes is enough."

"Not today," Arline gritted her teeth, "we're in this to the end now. I wanted to see if my master would show up," she shook her head, "but we can't wait that long. He's doing..." she paused, her eyes glazing over in thought, "I don't know what he's doing. With or without him, this is our task, our job to stop Steindorf, or at least do our most trying." She put out her hand between the other four. "Together?" she asked.

Wendy grinned savagely. "Couldn't have said it better myself." She put her hand atop Arline's.

"I'm in," Soos nodded, and put hand out as well.

"Let's do this," Dipper nodded somberly and looked to his sister as he put out his hand.

Mabel too extended her hand, wrapping it around her brother's with a small squeeze. "Together," she said.

"On three," Arline quietly stated, "we rush out and gang up on him. He can only fight so many sides off at once."

The twins, Soos, and Wendy nodded.

"One... two... three!" Arline said.

Dipper and Mabel rushed out first.

The light of the huge room was possibly overwhelming to the normal senses. Waves of light and sound chorused together as a symphony of power, struggling over the constantly cackling power of the stone, held in hand by Omir himself. Despite following the twins in path, Arline made it out past them in a blinding flash of speed. She leapt up, her fists covered with fire.

A cackle of yellow light burst forward, forming a wall between the group of five and Omir. In the split second it took to materialize, Arline slammed her fist into it, attempting to pass through. While the light shivered and certainly trembled, it did not fall. Arline kicked back, away from it, and landed next to the twins and their two friends.

"People need to understand," Omir sighed, slowly turning as he left the stone in place, hovering now behind him, "that I changed my senses long ago. It takes much, much more than line of sight and clever footing to get a jump on me."

"I bet you couldn't handle a jump-scare," Mabel pouted.

Omir glanced at her, his eyebrow cocked in a slight raise. he turned away from her after a moment, to Arline. "You really must give up this foolish act of opposing me. You're still injured because of me," he said, looking to her folded arm.

"I'm still able though," she gritted her teeth as she spoke.

"Also thanks to my generosity," he shrugged.

"Dude," Soos told Omir loudly," look, just chill out and stop this. Whatever you're doing, it's not good."

"Yeah man," Wendy also chimed in, "this whole super-villain crud has got to stop. I mean, it's not like you're just walking out of here after all of this."

"What makes you say that?" Omir chuckled.

"Because we won't let you," Dipper growled.

Omir looked to the four, and glanced to Arline. With a smile he shook his head. "Please, please tell me you haven't been feeding them lies! The kind you tell them that make them think they stand any chance against me," he told them. The twins' eyes darkened, glaring at Omir. Wendy's face grew red hot and she gritted her teeth. Soos merely shrugged.

"I'm more of a moral support kind of guy anyway," Soos said, "but I already got a punch on you once." The four turned to Soos. "I did!" Soos declared, "I got angry and knocked him to the ground."

"A mistake that you learned your lesson for, surely," Omir interrupted before others could speak.

"Meh. I still kind of want to punch you," Soos shrugged.

"It makes no difference," Omir growled, "this wall will not break to the likes of you. Now stand still and quiet and let me work or leave."

"I don't think so," Arline growled.

With her free hand pulled far back, she again punched forward. Her fist left a steaming trail through the air as her fire burned and then shrunk to the size of a small ball. Before her fist she slammed it into the wall. Colliding with the yellow energy, the fireball exploded past the barrier, and into the opposite side of the room. As stained glass from a broken church, the pale yellow light crumbled and fell to the floor, splintering into shards that dissolved from reality.

No words were needed- the barrier had been breeched. The twins rushed forward as Omir stared in shock at Arline. By the time he looked to the twins, he only had a brief second to react.

Sadly, that was all he ever needed.

Omir whipped his staff in both hands, knocking both twins aside with a flourished twirl. The fell past him and across the floor, sliding on the rock. Wendy made a jump at him, attempting her own version of a flying kick. Omir snapped at her with the end of his staff, snapping her foot down.

The precision hit and power would certainly have broken a knee for anyone, but the Wraith paid no attention. She merely landed, and swung out with her fist. Omir twisted his staff again, parrying her fist and twisting her aside.

Soos landed in on the action just in time. He too made a charge, grabbing out at Omir. The Wizard stepped aside, and left his foot out, tripping Soos. Now it was Arline, who patiently watched the wizard.

"Like I said," Omir told her, "you shouldn't get up their-"

A rock slammed into the back of Omir's head with a _crack_. Groaning as he stumbled a step forward, the Sorcerer whipped around to Wendy, who had tossed the rock.

"Sorry, tough guy," she said as she threw another, which this time he blocked with a whirl of his staff, "thought you would like to know what stone against the back of your head felt like!"

Omir was distracted, and Arline took flight. She too leapt forward, driving her foot at him. Omir saw and reacted as best he could- flicking out his staff as a block. The force behind Arline's strike was too much. He was driven back- sliding in place across dirt and stone.

Soos, still on the ground, grabbed at Omir's legs as they slid up to him. Wrapped tightly around the struggling Sorcerer, Soos head-butted the closest leg to him as best he could, doing little damage and more annoying the magic-user. As he did so, pulling his attention down, the twins struck out at him.

Simultaneously, they ran forward and punched into his back. As their strength collided with the back of the ancient Sorcerer, he staggered forward, groaning from the impact. He fell, finally breaking from Soos's grip. His staff clattered aside as he reached out to catch himself instinctively. He caught himself, snarling into the earth as his dark skin flushed with dark crimson.

"They hit me," he realized aloud, and pushed himself forward with a flip up. "They actually hit me." With a stomp of his foot, a wave of magic raced through the floor- pure in type and intent. The ground itself rippled outwards, knocking Soos and Wendy Airborne. The twins and Arline both leapt up over the attack in time, but Omir had already reached for his staff.

What he hadn't anticipated was Wendy's reach. As the Staff darted at it's owner, Wendy reached out and grasped it. She was far from strong enough to hold it for her own, but just strong enough to hang on. With the added momentum of the fling via magic staff, she soared at Omir, who was unaware of her coming.

Wendy drove her fist straight into his face, knocking the man off his feet as he reached out for the staff. In the air, the Sorcerer lost his great sense of surrounding, and was unable to see Arline leap high up once again and twist herself, driving her through a deadly arc that would end up crossing his head. Her heel connected with his skull, and he slammed into the ground with a loud bang.

The martial arists landed on the ground with a softer landing, catching herself with one hand as Wendy fell over next to her, clattering to the ground loudly. "Get the stone!" Arline turned to the twins.

"Right!" Dipper nodded as Mabel saluted to her master.

"NO!" Omir roared, punching the ground with his fist. His hand buried deep into the earth, and horrible crackling emanated out. From under their feet, rock hands grabbed both the twin's feet, tripping them against the ground.

Arline tried to stand as well, but more hands had reached out, pulling on her injured arm and legs, tying her to the ground. Wendy too found herself immobilized by the force of magical stone-hands, and fought bitterly to find release. Soos, on the other hand, slowly stood up, breaking his way free of the stone, rising up and facing the bruised ego of the Sorcerer.

"I take it back," Omir growled, "you're all much more capable than I gave you credit for."

Soos stalled, his position slacking. "Aw... thanks dude. You know, that kind of means something considering-"

Omir lifted his hand, and with two fingers, created a burst of wind that lifted Soos off his feet and slammed him into the rocky wall, some twenty feet away.

"But I'm done. You all, all of you," Omir growled, staring at Arline in particular with hateful eyes, "need to stop. You're interrupting a man who controls the fabric of that portal. I'd advise against it."

"You're a bully!" Mabel yelled. Omir whipped around to Mabel. "Yeah, that's right!" she shouted again, pinned to face the ceiling by the hands, "a big, stupid, mean bully!"

"Because I fight for what I think I must?" Omir asked her quietly. Mabel's hardened glare onto him softened. "Because, young lady," he told her, "by that right, that makes you and your friends just as bad as me."

"They never _killed_ anyone to get what they wanted!" Arline shouted.

"Would they, though?" Omir asked, and turned to Dipper. "Would... you?"

Dipper's gaze, similarly stained to the ceiling like Mabel, felt his confidence falter. There had been a dark, horrible gut instinct two days ago to really end it with Graupner. Not to stop and break, but to kill him. That thick, vicious feeling had left an impression onto Dipper since then- lingering like a black cloud in the recesses of his mind.

Omir slowly nodded. "Yes. See?" he pointed to Dipper, "you're not so high and mighty, are you?" Omir turned to Arline, "and you. How many men and women have you broken for the sake of your master- the same kind of master which tasks you with impossible goals? All of you," Omir looked around, and lingered on Soos, "maybe not him," he shrugged when looking at Soos, "are just as bad as me."

"Shut up!" Arline shouted, and with a roar, her body began to emanate fire and ash. "I didn't come here to listen to you tell me what being a good person means!" she shouted, spit flying from her mouth as the fire began to crack away the stone around her, falling to shards. "You killed my family to save your own skin!" she shouted, standing up, sweat and dirt covering her face, "and I'm not going to let you tell anyone else that they're as bad as _you_!"

The fire around Arline inverted. Flame shot towards her and fell against her palms as two tiny balls of light. She closed her fists quickly, and the same vision of heat that she had used once appeared. Heat itself- trembling the air around her like an aura of rippling power, floated around her, rising and carrying her long hair up.

"You've tried that once," Omir reminded her, extending his hand out for his staff.

Arline raced the staff. She blasted forward, her body leaned inward as she made the rush count. Each step tore rock beneath her as the force of each step's impact ripped earth itself.

Omir clutched the staff just as she threw her first punch. Once again he held out his staff, now in both hands, and blocked her powerful strike with his own. The impact visably shook the air, knocking wind and steam away from the two.

"But that got you nothing," Omir told her.

"It got me ideas," she said. She then reached out with her still extended hand and grasped the spear. The Sorcerer gasped as quickly the white staff began to glow with heat, searing the hands of the Sorcerer until he lifted them away and stepped back. Arline took the moment to revel in her victory, holding the staff for her own.

"A short loss," Omir shrugged, and then thrust his hands forward. The staff, still in control of the powerful spell-caster, threw itself against Arline, launching backwards. She instinctively let go, flipping backwards as the still intact weapon rattled aside.

Sliding to a stop, Arline slid her hand against the ground, giving herself more leverage to hold herself steady. Her super-heated fingers clawed into the earth, tearing fingernail lines through rock itself. A snarl on her face, she again ran at the man, who already called back his staff.

"Always running right at me," Omir sighed, and began to absentmindedly twirl his staff, "this never works."

"It's why I always try something new!" Arline shouted, darting left and right with furthere bursts of speed, leaving trails of water vapor- the sweat burning off her body. Omir watched with preparation, his fingers wrapped around the staff. Arline paused one moment, her speed too fast to maintain, and Omir snapped out with an end of his weapon. Arline ducked back entirely, bending at the waist to create a ninety degree angle. At the same time she kicked up and pushed herself upwards, knocking the staff into the air and going back for the Sorcerer.

His hand met her throat as she stood up.

"Try harder," Omir told her, his strength powerful enough to lift her into the air.

"How... 'bout... this!?" Arline chewed out her words, and then shoved her closed fist forward, opening it.

The stone remnants when she had slid back were pressed with a sizzle into Omir's face. Heated to the point of near glowing, the stone and dirt scorched at the face of the one-old looking man, and the he howled, dropping her instantly. As he fell back, holding his face and screaming, Arline stood above him.

"How about that one?" she asked with a grin.

"NO MORE GAMES!"

Omir showed an eye, revealing his now semi-scarred face. The hand he threw forward was a blur, and Arline was pelted like an arrow upwards. She shouted, flying high and out of control until her back struck the ceiling. With a heavy, crumbling whack, she hit her back against the rocky cavern above, and clenched her teeth together and her eyelids shut.

Omir then turned his hands downward and slammed them against them against the earth.

Arline followed with a crashing landing. She twitched and gasped, her injured arm moved out from it's sleeve, showing the still closing and now re-injured wound over her shoulder. As she attempted to roll onto her knees, hands reached out from the floor made of stone, wrapping her legs and hands down.

"I've seen enough of you, and your tricks," Omir sighed, his face scowling as he glared at Arline with a deep seated rage that only his constant temperament could contain. "I'm done with- with you all looking at me with this disgust!" he shouted, spinning to look at the contained others, "I've done this all for the benefit of many, and you all can't look past your own petty scratches and broken feelings to understand that!"

"Easy for you to say! We're not the ones with our fingers over a trigger!" Dipper shouted.

"A trigger that is harmless to you when done properly," Omir barked back at Dipper. When his voice echoed around, slowly being eaten by the trembling of the portal, he sighed. As he felt his fingers over his face, examining his new scars, he added, "I promise you. Stand still, and I'll prove it to you-"

"RIGHT HOOK!"

Stanley Pines, emerging from behind the Warlock himself, struck out with a powerful and top heavy punch that literally lifted the Sorcerer off his feet. Twisting in mid-air, the Sorcerer landed heavily, sliding a few feet away as half his face swelled.

"No one... tells my family... they're as low as _you_!" Stan breathed, some of the trickles of blood still running down his body.

"Oh my god," Dipper said as Stan walked over, kneeling to the twins, "Grunkle Stan, that was amazing!"

"Yeah! You totally 'Stan'd' him!" Mabel said, "sneak attack and an important empowering message in the same instance! Combo-wombo!"

"Thanks. Had some time to think about what to say while I was resting, but hearing him talk like that had that one spring to mind," Stan grunted with a grin, pulling along the stone hands with effort, slowly breaking them free. The moment Dipper and Mabel felt the ability to struggle back, Stan stood, and raced to Arline. "Look at you," he said to her as he kneeled down, "actually protecting my family in front of me. Finally seeing it in action. Huh. Nice."

"Charm me later," Arline rolled her eyes, "get me and everyone up first."

"Fine by me," Stan said as he lifted up, just freeing Arline's mobile side. Stan raced to Soos and Wendy's side, mere feet from one another. As they found themselves rising, the twins on their feet, a shadow loomed over them all.

Omir, bleeding from the mouth, clutching a hand to his face, had walked over to the stone, still floating in mid-air. Reaching over it, the same kind of rainbow light flickered into his hands, and he shivered. The bruises, cuts, and trickle of blood faded from him. His scars receded and he breathed easily.

"... Oh c'mon," Mabel groaned as Omir sighed, closing his eyes and standing before them, perfectly healthy, "he can do that to himself!?"

"I hate it when they heal," Dipper growled, "always makes things difficult."

"Struggle as you like," Omir mentioned, his hand reaching over the stone as the light continued to play and dance around his fingers, "I have a source of magic that, to you, could be nearly limitless. I'd be..."

Omir paused, his eyes widening.

The room's trembling had stopped. No longer did the rays of changing light pour into the portal. Instead, the portal showed a black, starry background. Like a touch of the void of outer space itself, yet the stars swayed and bounced around one another like specs of dust colliding. The Sorcerer, standing half way to the portal sighed heavily, his posture dropping it's tightened and hardened muscles relaxed. The portal had changed.

"It's done... a reality portal. Now," he gently said, leaving the stone to levitate behind him, marching towards the portal.

"Stop him!" Arline roared.

Omir flicked his hand behind him, and a similar flash of golden light appeared, dividing the group off from Omir. Their hands pressed up against the arcane barrier, pressed into the existing, near two-dimensional wall of transparent pale yellow light. He ignored them, pounding their fists against the wall, stepping slowly to the portal.

His eyes widened as he reached out. "I call on you, Haddiya," he spoke aloud, his words authoritative. Merely inches from the portal, he stared into the void as the buffered sounds of fists striking against magical wall echoed behind him. "I call onto you, greatest of the Magi, Guardians of Magic and Arcane, researcher of the stars and earth, she who brought unity through peace. Hear your pupil," he begged the portal as the cracks in the wall behind him spread, "hear me!"

"Get him!" Stan shouted as part of the wall gave way, nearest Mabel.

"No! The stone!" Arline shouted.

Mabel ducked inside the tiny fissure into the wall. Omir hadn't turned to see her, nor apparently heard her scuffles as she dove under across the rock.

Her fingers wrapped around the stone, and she tugged. It fell from it's position, sinking gently into her hands.

The starry eclipse of the portal shivered. Omir spun about, seeing Mabel, her hands and fingers wrapped around the stone. "You will not stop me!" he shouted, and extended his hand. The stone darted out from Mabel's grasp, and soared into Omirs. "This day, I rescue my love!"

Omir then clutched the stone in his hand, and squeezed it against the portal.

"COME TO ME!" Omir bellowed.

Air came to a standstill. The humming of the portal slowed and faded. The distant stars and their blurry light slowly came to a standstill. The six behind Omir, including Mabel, all watched as a grey aura began to creep out from the portal, encasulating everything in it's touch.

"Uh-oh," Dipper quickly said.

"Did it work!?" Omir demanded, looking to the portal. "Haddiya, speak to me! Mistress Haddiya!"

As the grey light passed over Mabel, the hair on her neck stood up. She had felt this feeling before. A weight fell over her eyes, and yet she was sure she was still fully awake. Her mind fought against a reality that... couldn't be. Not anymore.

Omir stepped away from the portal. "Come now! Let me see you!"

As the six watched, now along with Omir Steindorf, the stars of the portal began to align. They formed, at first, many various shapes. Simple in design, and always in motion and morphing. A square to a circle, a star to a tree, a tear drop into a flame. The constellations buzzed around one another until a solid shape appeared.

A circle. Should the portal have been a clock, at eleven, a circle appeared. It grew in size until it took up the entire region of it's placement. The stars of the shape faded as color and true line appeared. A stone- of shimmering black color that bleeded rainbow out from under it's edges came into perfect view.

The stars danced again. An intricate form appeared, resembling that of a humanoid figure. Slowly, as with the stone, the figure grew and took on more features. Bulky articles of clothing appeared, until the twins instantly recognized what they were looking at- Yuki's astronaut gear. This form took to the ten position

More shapes appeared, one by one. A long thin scarf, one worn by none other than Zander Maximillion with color eerily similar to the stone rested at eight; a bow tie placed on the neck of Omir Steindorf rested on seven; a broken pair of Stanley's old glasses rested at five; a fist striking out with fire driven by a fist clearly resembling Mabel's own hand rested at four; A skull, appearing to have the face of Graupner Kinley, but missing an eye- instead replaced with a glowing stone, took three; crossed hands with bandages Dipper remembered having around his own hands took two; and Wendy's now shattered axe took twelve.

When the final image, the broken axe, appeared and solidified, the countless stars buzzed. As they trembled, they began to race into solid, rigid placement, starting to form lines. As their buzzing grew, the group winced, holding their ears.

All except for Dipper and Mabel. They knew that sound. It wasn't a buzz.

It was laughter.

"Ha-Haddiya?" Omir gulped, stepping away from the portal as three lines of light slowly appeared in the portal. "No... I know this voice," he murmured.

The blackness of the void instantly switched places with the light of the triangle, filling in one while emptying the other. Three black lines stood still, until two stick-like hands, two legs, and a bow-tie appeared about the icon. Slowly a single eye opened.

"FREEDOM, BABY!"

Bill Cipher popped out of the portal, leaving behind a white, colorless void from where he came.

"Aww, man is it good to be free from that stupid anti-dimension!" Bill Cipher said as he floated over a dumb-struck Omir Steindorf, "phew! Finally being able to explore again, even in the mindscape, aww, what a relief!"

"That voice!" Omir gasped, pointing to the triangle, "you! The one from my dream!"

"BILL!" Dipper roared, and rushed after Bill.

"Oh! Pine-Tree! Buddy!" Bill extended his arms, letting Dipper race right through him with a punch. Dipper instead tripped and fell over, allowing the two-dimensional demon to whirl about, eying him from above. "Ahh, it's good to see you, you know, not just from a loan from a cursed board game, that is. What was that, seven trillion years ago? I don't know- the place I came from didn't have an aspect of time, so I lost track of things."

"You're just trying to trick us!" Dipper said, turning and pointing to the levitating object.

"We locked your stupid dimension permanently!" Mabel shouted, "so your trick won't work this time!" Bill inverted himself, morphing his way through his form. "Ew," Mabel shuddered.

"And Shooting star! Oh! OH!" Bill looked around, spotting Stan, Wendy, and Soos, "Stan Pines! And Red! Big-guy! Oh wow, it's almost a family reunion! Well, missing one particularly good servant, but," Bill shrugged, summoning his walking cane in his hand as he did, spinning it through the air, "oh well. And..." Bill's eye fixed on Arline, who flinched at his stare, "hmm. You're new around here. Arline Hirsh, huh? Well that rings a bell. HAH! I'm going to call you, for now on, Bells."

"Muse!"

Bill spun around, and stared at the Sorcerer. "Oh! Snappy!" Bill raced forward in the blink of an eye, wrapping his noodle arms around Omir's head, "you did so well! Ah, I can't believe it worked as well as it did!"

"W-what are you saying!?" Omir said, stepping under and away from Bill, backing himself towards the others, "you- you said that if I crafted a reality portal from a dimensional one, I could bring back Haddiya!"

"Oh, so that's how you interpreted, is it?" Bill asked, rolling his one eye, and then laughing. "Ahh, you can't see it, you know, no mouth at all," Bill pointed to his 'face'," but I'm grinning at you. With sarcasm. And Pity. But mostly sarcasm."

"Explain yourself!" Omir roared. "Where is Haddiya!"

"Dead!" Bill chuckled. Omir's face dropped several shades paler.

"But... but the spell-"

"Was used to bring back from the _void_," Bill specified, "not the _afterlife_," he said slowly, "your own precious _golden_ _soul_," Bill reminded him. Omir blinked, his head trembling left and right. "You don't get it, do you?" Bill zoomed up into the Sorcerer, his huge eye up against Omir's face. "I. Tricked. You."

Bill zoomed away, cackling, leaving behind a lightly trembling man, who despite his youthful appearance, seemed suddenly much older.

"I tricked you with the oldest one in the book! Just get a guy who's desperate enough to do what you say to do what you want! As long as you lie about what they're getting! How perfect is that! More perfect than kittens with spikes! AWW EVEN MORE THAN THAT!" Bill roared with laughed, spinning around in circles as he laughed. "MORE LIKE SPIKES MADE OF KITTENS!"

"You mean... all this time," Omir said, his voice failing him.

"Yes!" Bill zoomed into his face again, "you were working your stupid, short-sighted, human, three-dimensional butt off to just free me from my imprisonment, and not your neat-o girly woman!"

"Each one of those steps got me a smidgy-widgy closer to being freed again!" Bill exclaimed, floating high above, "a prophecy made by none other than myself to the requirements to free me! And look! I'm totally open and in the nude! Watch out world," Bill shouted, puffing out his chest, "BILL'S BACK!"

"Not on our watch!" Dipper shouted.

"Yeah! We sent your smug mug into that hell or whatever you call it!" Stan barked, "we can send you back!"

"Oh, you know, I may have been intimidated if I knew what that feeling was," Bill admitted, "but instead, I'll settle for 'gloating'. So... Nya-nya-nya-nyaaa-nyaaaa," Bill waved his hands around, provoking the ground.

"So what, you just escape and you think we'll let you? Dummy," Mabel smirked.

"Actually, what I expect you to do," Bill said, and snapped his fingers. The stone next to Omir vanished with a loud pop. As the Sorcerer gasped, he looked up, and the stone was floating above Bill's outstretched hand, "is fall into the same void that you all sent me to and remain there while I work my way back into changing this universe back into a better reality than what it is now. And for that, you guys won't be needing this," Bill said, and chucked the stone over his shoulder, passing through the portal.

"NO!" Omir roared, rushing to grasp it. The black orb vanished from sight, unable to be seen from the bright white light that filled the circle.

"And to think," Bill chuckled, "I wanted to kick you people out of town to let Snappy here do his thing! Who would have thought that it was only by you getting in his way that I could find the right moment to sneak in! HAH! Oh I love convenient coincidences," Bill sighed happily.

"You used me," Omir growled, turning back to Bill, who never turned, but rotated his eye to face the direction of Omir, "Why!? You could have worked with me! Instead you USED ME!"

"Oh, Snappy," Bill whipped around, coddling the cheeks of the Sorcerer, "I only work with people I can make deals with. And I couldn't, "he cleared his throat and quoted his next word, " 'officially' make deals while in that void. So, instead, I'd use you. After all, you forgot the most important rule of using power," Bill said, his voice drawn out as he chastised Omir, "trust... no one."

"You will be stopped," Dipper growled.

"I made the mistake of under-estimating you all before," Bill said, turning to the teens and others, "this time, I'm going to be double, triple, quadruple sure that I get my way. So... to put it bluntly in your tongue," Bill expanded to the size of a truck and said in a horribly distorted voice, "COME AT ME, BRO."

The six behind Omir stepped back, taken at the sight of the huge animated geometric shape. Finally he squeezed back to his normal size, and cracked his 'knuckles' in his fingers.

"Well, I'm off to go find new deals to exploit and people to sucker," Bill said, adjusting his tie and hat once before crossing his legs together and slowly levitating upwards. "Hope you all enjoy your inevitable stay in the void yourself! And Remember:" he said, slowly floating higher and higher towards the portal, where the circle of images rose to meet with him, covering his form entirely. As they met, the images began to flash and change between others- so fast and rapidly that the human eye could not follow.

"Life is unquantifiable, risk is existence, break lots of rules, BYYYEEEE!"

Bill flashed with a glow, piercingly bright white light and all else averted their eyes.

The seven people inside the test chamber opened their eyes instantly. The dimmed and muted color had left- leaving them in their cave with proper light. However, the stone in the cave was gone.

"He took the stone," Omir mumbled.

Arline turned her gaze back to the Sorcerer, and snarled. Taking her first step, she made to lunge at him.

The portal then trembled. Streaking out from the still pure white existence that were bolts of energy- shaped and twisted like lightning, but constantly crushing dirt and rock as they pushed out and ate away at stone for short moments, and then evaporated into nothingness. All but Omir backed up, including Arline, who slid to a stop, watching the cascades of energy and power.

"Someone want to explain what that's supposed to be?" Wendy asked harshly, shaking in her boots.

"Looks like the portal is having a tantrum?" Mabel suggested.

"That helped," Wendy muttered.

The bolts of white energy grew more and more frequent, snatching outwards in violent breaks from their constant containment.

"I don't know, but I'm finding out!" Stan shouted, and he whirled around, rushing for the still open door to the observation lab.

"All my work," Omir Steindorf said, standing before the portal, his eyes lazily open as he stared into the white abyss, "all my years... and I was led to be a fool."

"How do we turn it off?!" Arline turned to the others, no longer interested in Omir, with the state of things as it were.

"We know how to turn it off," Dipper said, and pointed to an entirely ignored set of command consoles, "but that was assuming they had ever properly turned it on! Nothing was ever activated, so any equipment in here is just useless!"

"Don't say that," Soos begged, "there's got to be something in here we can use to tame this wild apparition of pure, undiluted power," he added, eyeing the portal as it crackled and roared.

"What did he mean?" Mabel said. The others turned to Mabel, their eyes scanning for more clues to her intent. "Bill? When he said," she raised her pitch several notes higher than normal, "Enjoy your inevitable stay in the void yourself!"

"He... he doesn't mean that we're going to where he was, does he?" Dipper repeated. "It's not like we're jumping into that portal any time soon!"

"I got info!" Grunkle Stan called from the lab, and he ran out, holding a pair of old, stained, recently printed statistics in crude, raw data, "uhh," Stan read through it again, his eyes looping through various printed numbers and data values, "so the portal is, uh, at a level of power so high that it can't be recorded, and the type of energy- quantum based-" stan added with a roll of his eyes, "like I know what that means, has been shifted to something else."

"Reality portal," Dipper chimed in, "it's what jerk-head over there said, "Dipper grunted, heaving a thumb behind him.

"Well, that's great and all, but that also means we've got problems!" Stan barked, "the portal had a self-maintaining de-activation clause if things got too rough for it to handle- but that's only if it knows what's going on! It can't record the energy inside the portal, so it can't shut down!"

"Then how do _we_ do that!?" Arline barked, "because I'm getting an inkling that we shouldn't let this thing run for too much longer-"

A huge bolt of energy exploded out, nearly missing the crew gathered around Stan. The twins yelled and held onto one another, watching as the beam of power chiseled away at the stone and rock like a hot knife along butter. As it had quickly appeared, it quickly vanished.

"You could say that!" Stan shouted, his forehead sweating profusely, "those laser-things? The ones that killed us? They're eating away at what they hit for a reason! The doesn't have the energy to keep itself sustained, and without any way of shutting it down, it's finding it's own source of fuel!"

"What, rock?" Mabel asked.

"Reality!" Stan shouted, "it's literally chewing at existence as a means to power itself up constantly!" Stan stepped forward, holding the papers to his side. The shadows of Omir, still staring into the growing danger of the portal blocked out Stan as he stepped into the darkness. His head fell, and his voice cracked. "At this rate, I... I think we're in for something bad."

"Stan, what do we do?" Arline begged of him, running over and hold his arms, pulling him to look at her, "help me help us all! What do we do to stop the worse case scenario?"

"You mean the end of the world as we know it?" Stan asked.

No one breathed for a moment. Even Arline's flushed face went light as she stared at the old man.

"Yeah... not to break it to you guys, but based on how this thing works, It'll keep eating everything it can until it just cancels itself out and fades into nothingness... the world is a huge pool of energy, and... I... I think we're about to see the end."

Stan's grip on the paper was not strong enough. The wind, now growing faster and more consistent, tore the pages away and whipping them towards the walls. The group watched as the papers met with one of the bursts of energy, and the paper sizzled into many small pieces, eventually being swallowed by the white void.

"Stan," Aeline sighed, "you're more than that."

"Huh?" he asked, looking to her.

"C'mon. You're more stubborn than just _letting_ the end come," she reminded him, "you're the kind of person who'll fight tooth and nail to get what you want! Right, scare-master?" she added, her voice softening as she reminded him of his greatest title.

Stan's eyes flickered up to her, driving his worried, fragile soul against hers. Where he saw confidence, she saw uncertainness. Stan tore away from her, shaking his head. "I..." he stalled, looking down at the shoes of those also present. Rising his head, he found the twins, and his employees, nervously watching him. As he stared at each of them, he adjusted his stance, pulling himself upright.

"Alright," he said, turning about to look to Arline. "I'll do my thing. You do yours." Arline merely nodded, and then marched towards the group. Stan piped up, "okay, you four get out of here and to town! Get as many people as you can away from this building before anything bad happens!"

"Wait, you're coming, right?" Mabel asked.

"When you get to safety, keep going!" Stan barked over Mabel as Arline lead the way to the doors, "I want you all so far away from here that I have to call you over phone line and be charged at least fifty dollars for it! And you're not coming back until I do!" Stan shouted, ushering them all towards the elevator.

"But you're going to be okay?" Dipper demanded.

"Stan," Arline asked quietly, "you need to find a way to stop this. Without..." she glanced over her shoulder, where the four nervously watched her, "...playing the martyr."

"Hah! Like heck I'd do that!" Stan laughed, patting the woman's shoulders, "it's more like I'm going to pretend to be the hero long enough-"

The ground shook as a blast of energy streaked its way through the entire lab across from the shattered glass, and cut a deep, harsh line into the walls around the electrical equipment. Dirt and sparks of charred earth exploded around them. Grunkle Stan spun, holding an arm across his face to avoid the debris while monitoring the damage. As usual, the blast of energy was short lived.

"Anyway," Stan said, shaking himself for a moment as he turned to face the stunned group, and he looked at Arline with a forced smile, "I'll be around just long enough to play hero, and then, you know..." he said, his smile staying firmly placed, even as his eye's lost a type of shine. Dipper and Mabel could see it, and the employees could see it. Arline stared at him, her own eyes boring into his own, reading his intent as best she could.

"Right," she nodded.

"He's going to stay behind!" Mabel shouted, and tried pulling herself around Arline.

"Arline, get them to safety!" Stan shouted, and spun around.

"No! We're helping!" Dipper also shouted. Arline's arm held out and grasped Mabel, pushing her back. "You can't stop us!" Dipper shouted at Stan as Mabel fought against Arline's grasp.

"Stop you!?" Stan laughed, and looked to them, "not my job!" he said, and looked to Arline. "You're the one who's ultimately going to protect them, right?" he asked, his words cracking as he stared at them from a distance, his lips trembling.

"No," Soos quietly muttered, "you... you're getting out too, Mister Pines."

Stan grinned as he looked at Soos, and with a sigh, he lifted something from his pocket. With a quick toss, he threw a small, jingling chain of metal at Soos. "Hold onto her while I'm fixing this, got it?" he asked Soos. Soos looked down, along with Wendy, to the palm of his hand. Resting with a small jingle, was a set of keys to an old, well-kept red car up on the surface. Soos gasped, clutching it tight, as his eyes watered. "Keep it together, tough guy," Stan told him, his own smile fading as he gulped, "and... my last real order to you as boss is to protect my kids until I'm back," Stan said with finality.

Tears streamed down Soos's eyes.

"Mister Pines, you can't just expect us to-" Wendy started, but Stan shook his head.

"Her too, Soos. And, most of all," Stan turned from Soos, walking towards one of the control panels, "protect yourself."

"R-R-R-Right, M-Mister P-Pines!" Soos saluted, and with one fell swoop, lifted both Wendy and Dipper with his arms, crying the entire time, and pulled them into the elevator.

"Soos! Let me down!" Dipper shouted, struggling against the huge man's impressive strength.

"C'mon dude, this isn't cool!" Wendy shouted, pulling and clawing at escape as best she could.

"Master," Mabel begged, "he's going to be stupid! He's going to actually play hero!" Mabel pointed to Stan, "we can't just leave him!"

"I know," Arline said.

"You... you do?" Mabel asked, stepping back to watched Arline. The three struggling stopped their fuss, and watched the two. Arline smiled so greatly, her eyes nearly closed as she took in one long breath and spoke to Mabel.

"You've made me more proud than you can possibly know, Mabel," Arline said, "and you're nor wrong. He can't be left alone."

Stan whipped his head to her. "Don't you dare!" he shouted.

"Sorry, Stan," Arline turned half way, glancing to him.

Then she snapped out her hand and struck Mabel in the stomach.

As the pupil reeled down, clutching her gut, the wind knocked out of her, Arline grasped her shoulders, turned her, and nearly hurled her into the elevator. Mabel stumbled into Soos, who fell and instantly collapsed with Dipper and Wendy. Arline calmly stepped forward, and, her eyes never leaving the four, she pressed the button for 'up'.

"MASTER!" Mabel shouted, tears running down her face. "DON'T LEAVE-"

But the elevator was gone. Leaving behind the bottom floor, the four feel the pull of lurching ascension. Mabel stood quickly, her hands against the closed internal grate. All she could do is look down, her mouth and eyes wide open. With every ounce of breath in her body, she shouted a name down below: "ARLINE!"

Moments passed after Mabel's cries went unanswered, and the doors slid open again. Mabel quickly spun around and shoved a finger into the button that would lower the elevator down. Nothing happened- no buzzer, or shake of wires... nothing.

"Go down!" Mabel roared, punching the terminal, "we have to go help them too!"

"Mister Pines cut off the elevator controls," Soos stated, and walked past them, his eyes somber. His pace was quickened and his stance deliberately forward. As he exited, he turned, facing the others. "We need to go, dudes."

"How could you possibly know if he cut the controls?" Wendy demanded, "it could just be an old-"

"I _don't_," Soos said, actually cutting into Wendy's words with his booming voice, "but he gave me one last job, and I'm going to do it!" Soos declared angrily, several tears running down his flushed face. Taking a moment from stunning the gang before him, Soos closed his eyes, and held the brim of his cap with his hand. In that same hand, the keys dangled before him, drawing out his gaze to them. He nodded to the keys and faced the three once more. "Pack whatever you can, and then we need to get people out of town dudes."

Wendy glanced to the twins. Receiving a shrug and nod from Dipper, she trudged forward, her pace growing faster as the rumbling down below grew. Dipper put his hands onto Mabel gently, wrapping his fingers around her shoulders.

"C'mon," he told her.

"We... we need to find Waddles," Mabel sniffed as she stepped out of the elevator.

"Let's hurry then," Dipper agreed as Soos turned and raced up the steps, "we don't really know how much time we have."

* * *

Arline Hirsh stared at the closed elevator. Her eyes were heavy as she watched the cables inside jostle and clang together, fighting off the over-powering roar of wind and magical discharge from the laboratory chamber. Her eyes remained closed, her mind fighting the horrible realization to what she had chosen.

"You can still go!" Stan barked at her.

This shook her from her trance. She spun, approaching him. "Like hell am I going to let you go down without help."

"You have a job, _remember_?" Stan pointedly said.

Arline grumbled, shaking her head. "You gave Soos that job. I'm more help to you here."

"Look here-"

"Stan!" Arline yelled, punching one of the glass cases by the displays, her teeth exposed as she snarled, "I'm not in the mood to explain to you how I've trained to know how energy works, okay? But I can. I've been able to read types of energies for years, and this type?" she nudged her head to the massive portal, "this 'reality' portal? I'm familiar to it."

"...So?" Stan asked.

"I can help delay the-" she let a closed hand open up slowly, "-boom."

Stan's eyes studied her, looking for doubts in her gaze that were not there. "You have a life still," he told her, his voice darkly quiet, "there's more you can do with yours."

"I could say the same about you," she shrugged.

"And you'd be wrong," Stan barked back. "I'm at the end, Arline."

"Great, because what better way to go down than fighting to save as many good people as you possibly can?"

The fire between them shimmered and changed from a cold sear to a warming touch. With only a few words, they two finally understood. Stan sighed and nodded.

"You know," he started, grinning, "you're one heck of a girl."

"And you're one heck of a con-man," she smiled. When he opened his mouth, ready to argue, she added, "fooled me into thinking you never cared for almost an entire month."

Stan could only smile. "Do what you gotta do," he told her, "I'm going to try breaking some of my brother's old codes- get electricity into the chamber and feed the portal with anything I've got. Maybe we can stifle it!"

"I'm for that," Arline nodded, and marched past him, cracking her neck with a slow twist. "Okay," she breathed, finding the door, where the horribly bright, white light poured in. She turned back to him once, and nodded. "Good luck," she muttered.

Stan went to work the moment she stepped out, racing to panels and adjusting certain power knobs to control the flow of energy. Where he could find a danger zone for out-put, he would ignore it. If there was a warning light, he'd manually turn it off, with a switch of a punch from his fist. He wouldn't stop pouring in as much energy into the supposedly de-activated portal as could.

Arline marched into the chamber, wind howling around her, he very steps faltered by the sheer ferocious energy that tore and blasted around her. Her clothes floated around her form as they were semi-levitated by the constant drafts of wind. As she did, her eyes squinted, dealing with the strenght of the wind. Standing before the portal still was Omir Steindorf.

"Used... like a child," he muttered to himself.

Arline let her fate for the man before her fuel the power and strength resting in her body. He had done so much to her life, harmed so many people for this day which now he had been robbed of. It was so perfectly ironic to her, to think that he, this entire time had been blinded by something as wonderful like love, and that it was now her most blinding quality, hate, that would empower her. She gritted her teeth as she felt her temperature raise.

"I am the phoenix, born of ash," she claimed loudly, holding out her arms as she proudly presented herself before the portal, "made of fire and wind. I am that which chases the sun, forever burning until I consume myself in my own power, yet I will never extinguish. The wind that I forge carries me to great heights, and all before my stride will bask in heat or be scorched aside!"

"My name," she shouted, barely behind Omir, who slowly turned to face her, "is Arline Hirsh! The Student of the Master of the Paths of Humanity! Guardsman to time! I DO NOT BACK DOWN!"

Her body fully erupted into red, yellow, and orange as flames exploded from her as an aura of heat. The air itself burned and ash of the earth below her began to swirl as currents she created from rising heat battled the constant pull and sway of the winds from the portal.

She walked closer to the portal, feeling the pull of power. The electrical strikes of energy grew closer and closer to her, attracted to the force she gave off. Like moths to a flame, they finally found her.

Unlike moths, they did not burn and fall, dead. They met her, and knocked her down, stunning her with bursts of electrical energy. She gasped, holding herself as best she could against the near constant barrage of power.

It was too much for her. She couldn't stand. Her muscles in her back and legs were starting to give. From the output of energy in her body from sustaining fire around her without being burned to death, to the strikes of energy from the portal, Arline felt her life faltering. She was giving away all she could, feeling her heartbeat grow faint.

One knee gave, and she fell to a kneel, still burning. Another bolt of lightning slammed into her shoulder, coursing into her bones. She screamed, the fire traveling up the bolt of energy. The portal was feeding off of her, eating away at her life, bit by bit.

As she looked up, a huge build up of energy swirled and spun around a single point. Arline saw the blast coming, but was sorely unable to do anything about it. She closed her eyes, ready to die for a cause.

A white rod shot out before her, knocking aside the blast as a deflection. The arcing energy ate into the side of the wall, destroying heavy rock and boulder alike. All Arline could do was tremble and shake as she followed the path of the rod.

Omir breathed heavily, holding his two hands along the edge of the staff.

"So," he said, swallowing words as she slowly stood, "you're ready to do, righting my mistakes?"

"I've made it my life's goal to do that," she grunted, spitting at his feet.

Omir never flinched as spittle struck his foot. His eyes focused on her. Sorched, burnt, near death, and still standing against the end with pride. A smile cracked on his face, and he nodded.

"Now I understand why he chose you," he said.

Arline's heart fluttered a tiny amount more than usual. Omir turned away though, and lowered his staff to point at the center of the portal. As he did, a blast of his own lightning, blue and constant, broke out form the end and zapped alone the center.

Arline stepped next to him, and with her two hands forward, she thrust her palms out and blew a heavy stream of fire into the portal's flat face. Lightning and fire alike beamed into the white, where only traces of their efforts could be seen- small blue sparks and ashes alike flickered out from their destructive power.

Behind them, Stan watched, his eyes aghast with what he saw. With what they were giving, the two could actually... sate the hunger. They could slowly whittle down the build-up of drawing energy from the run-away portal.

Stan stood on his feet, desperately trying to match the best possible results he could with what little control he had. Every time the portal fluctuated, trying to grow larger to eat more 'reality', he would adjust more power to sate it. The more he did it, the occasional spike of power grew larger.

Finally he saw it. The energy reading on the portal vanished. The three almost gasped as they were plunged into near darkness. Their eyes adjusted as the bright white light of the portal condensed into a small ball of light, no larger than the smallest pen-point. The martial artist and magic-user stalled their attack, both panting in place as they all stared at the small object, hovering perfectly in the center of the circle. Stan stared at it, praying more than anything else that it would fizzle out of existence. Taking a step away from the control panel, he reached out and grasped an old, shattered framed picture: Mabel and Dipper, age twelve, smiled up at him.

Readings on the portal sky-rocketed, and Stan barely had time to drop the picture. The ball of light exploded. More light than the three had ever seen washed over them, leaving no hopes of shadow or doubt.

The last thing Stan ever did before being lost in the bright light was the picture fluttering from his hand.

* * *

Coming down the stairs, with hastily packed bags, Mabel and Dipper fell as half the building next to them exploded.

Toppling down the stairs, their suitcases spilling about as a humungous column of light exploded. The entire section of the building dedicated to tours and scamming customers was eaten by a huge beacon of pure, unrelenting, vibrating, roaring, white light.

"My summer journal!" Mabel screamed as the newest of her books fell forward, pictures flying everywhere.

"We need to go!" Dipper shouted, racing up with her as they quickly ran away from the massive beam of light. Now only holding what they had on their backs, the twins ran out of the building.

"WADDLES!" Mabel screamed into the building. "WADDLES!"

Squeals of terror and panic met her cry. From the direction of Stan's room, a pink spotted pig ran out, avidly fleeing the huge source of light.

"C'mon big guy!" Mabel encouraged him to run by, stepping aside for him, allowing him to exit. To her encouragement, Waddles raced into Dipper's car, passing by Soos and Wendy to shuffle inside.

"What about Yuki?!" Dipper called as they made it to the front doors. Outside, Soos had already opened and readied the El Diablo roadster, Stan's personal car, for transportation of a harmed person. Back seats lowered, and anything dangerous left in the back trunk.

"We have to go back and get him!" Soos shouted. Helping the twins away and dodging the pig race by him, Soos made for the Manor.

The Column of Light expanded, eating away at more of the shack. Tearing wood and stone, metal and paint alike, the column of light, reaching into the clouds itself, destroyed everything it touched. The Dipper and Mabel screamed and Soos stumbled back as the majority of the building was evaporated.

"C'MON!"

Wendy's call did not go unnoticed. Dipper ran to her as she slid into the passenger seat to his car, Soos into the driver of Stan's, and Mabel atop her bike. Three vehicles all on and ready to leave desperately flew drove down the swerving, winding path. Car after car after motorcycle made it up and down hills and around corners, avoiding many fleeing fauna. Birds in the skies squawked and chirped of danger as wind in the air began to whip about. The beam of energy grew stronger.

Soos turned the car towards the highway, which would lead towards the town. Dipper too turned the wheel, and in his reflection, he saw Mabel keeping pace, her face focused on survival. Dipper glanced back to the column of light in the sky once more.

All in Gravity Falls saw it; huge, unflinching and uncompromising light. It cast deep, dark shadows wherever it could not touch. Those fighting in town found themselves tied to the image before them now, stretching high into the heavens. Above them, penetrating the clouds with a power none before had witnessed, the energy faded once more, growing smaller and thinner, until the light vanished with a small, but hastened, condensation.

Then, all at once, it returned with a bang.

The earth lifted and shook as the light exploded. No longer a tall column, but an expanding wave of pure, white energy, the world around the light shredded every single thing it touched.

For the two cars, the literal lift of earth was fine- the cars only jostled slightly.

For the bike, not so much.

Mabel fell, striking the highway pavement with a rough twist. Spinning out of control next to her bike, her skin and clothing slowly tore and matted with the harsh texture of the road.

"MABEL!"

Dipper slammed on the breaks, watching Mabel at his distance.

"NO!" Wendy turned in her seat as Dipper did, watching as finally Mabel came to a stop. She wasn't moving. "Dipper, what-" Wendy asked.

Dipper took action before he knew what he was doing. His seatbelt came off in a flash, and he shoved the door open with a kick. The light of the rapidly expanding light struck his eyes. He had to shield his vision, but he could still see Mabel, barely stirring in the road. He turned, ignoring the continued panic cries from the pig. "Drive without me!" he roared to Wendy.

"What!?"

He ignored Wendy's words after that. All he could hear was his heart. He ran back down the street as fast as he could, towards the danger, towards Mabel. She was trying her best to push herself up off the road, bug her arms shook violently.

Behind him, Dipper heard the car door slam. He only needed to look back once to see Wendy go, racing off.

"C'mon, big girl, up!" Dipper told Mabel as he held pull her to a stand, "too your feet!"

"Dipper, I'm not-"

"Just hold on to me for now!" Dipper desperately told her. "Now I save you!" he shouted, clinging onto her arms and back as they walked over to the downed bike. The engine still buzzing but bike kiltered over, Dipper shoved it back to it's side. The ground trembled ferociously now, and he looked behind him.

The wave had passed through town entirely.

It was just them.

"MABEL, DON'T LET GO!"

Dipper, now riding atop the half-scarred bike, kicked off and raced forward. Her fingers dug into his skin, tearing at him painfully. He didn't care- he was alive as long as he felt the pain. The bike jolted against cracks in the highway, and he continued forward.

All he could do was focus on ahead. Just keep ahead. Stay ahead of the blast. Stay out of danger. Keep Mabel alive!

"Dipper," Mabel muttered, shaking her head.

"No, we got this!" Dipper said, and glanced into the mirror. There was a reason he felt more wind than before.

The blast was only a few hundred feet behind them now. He saw how it tore at the earth, blasting it apart like nothing- shredded like loose paper.

"NO!" Dipper cried, turning back and leaning forward. Anything to get away.

This couldn't end now.

"Dipper," Mabel hugged him hard. "I need to say-"

"I... I know," Dipper said.

He no longer needed to look into the mirror. The light blazed all around him, a burning radiance of shock colorlessness. Under normal circumstance, the twins would have thought their backs were burning with the level of intense light. The roar of the blast behind them ate at their world as all they could see was the path of the highway before them.

The bike's back tire slowly began to lift.

All at once the light and din were gone.

"Huh?"

The twins both blinked, and Dipper slowed the bike down. Ahead of them, the two cars, one of red and the other of black, stopped and turned to the side of the road. Soos and Wendy were getting out. Dipper turned quickly, looking to Mabel.

"How bad are you feeling?" he quickly asked her. Her eyes met with him. There was pain, but she could look past it.

"Meh," she shrugged.

Dipper sighed and smiled. She would be fine. Then, his eyes adjusted.

Behind him...

Was the forest.

"Wait, what?" Dipper stood off the bike as Soos, Wendy, and Waddles all came running to them. Dipper's eyes scanned the highway, looking for the devastation he saw rushing their way. The cracked, eaten, ripped up streets were fine. The woods, the trees and leaves that had been blended into a perpetual smoothie of wood and splinters were swaying gently in the breeze.

"I... did we miss something?" Mabel asked, adjusting her seat on the bike to watch with her brother. As Soos and Wendy made it, Waddles nuzzled next to Mabel's leg, pressing his nose against her knee. "Aww, I'm okaay for now, buddy," she quietly assured the pig.

"Did... did we imagine it?" Soos asked, asking the others.

"No, I know I _saw_ that," Dipper told them, and most of all himself. "We ran for our lives!"

"But nothing changed," Mabel assured them, as Wendy passed by them.

"No." The three looked to Wendy. Her voice had shaken. Her posture was loose. Then she turned, her eyes wide. "Something is very, very wrong."

Exchanging looks, Dipper nodded. "We go back."

"But it could be dangerous!" Soos argued as Wendy rushed past them.

"You're coming with me, missy," Wendy told Mabel, helping her off the bike.

"Soos," Dipper grunted, "we don't know if it's dangerous. We don't even know if anything now _actually_ happened. We... _I_ need to know."

Soos let Wendy, Mabel, and Waddles pass by him, and gave a solemn nod to Dipper. "Okay dude. Let's go back and check."

One minute later, Dipper was on Mabel's bike, riding it solo, looking for the first signs of the streets leading into town. The now pleasant sun that beamed down on his face only reminded him of the light that had cascaded on his back. Had... had something been missed? Forgotten about? Did the destruction... never happen?

No... his senses hadn't lied to him. That horrible tearing sound, the shaking of earth itself, splintered and ripped like all of it was nothing... it had been real.

Yet no evidence presented itself to them now.

Dipper lead the way, growing frustrated. He was starting to suspect shock had settled into his brain. He could have sworn that they should have met one of the streets by now. Dipper glanced behind them, scanning the windows for suggestion. Wendy and Mabel silently were exchanging a conversation behind the window, looking to Dipper and the woods.

Dipper turned around and continued driving.

"The heck is going on?" Dipper growled to himself, looking around.

No signs for Gravity Falls.

No semi-ruined water tower.

No Mystery Manor posters set up by Yuki.

Dipper's eyes scanned around, seeing the geography of the world around them, all familiar. The Pine trees were the same, the hills the same, the birds and animals... all normal. Simple. There was no road leading off the highway yet.

Appearing ahead was finally a turn of some sort. Dipper sighed, relieved to see something other than continuing road. "It's just stress, phew," he said to himself, turning the bike across the highway to approach the off-set.

To his surprise, he saw a building he had never seen before. A dirt and gravel parking lot lead to a small wooden building with various antenna and radio wires. Flashing before them as the angle of the sun passed by, a sign reading 'Sparkle Lake Park Ranger Station' confused Dipper further.

Finally in what Dipper assumed was a public parking spot, he hopped off the bike. Turning to the two other parked cars, he approached them quickly, his pace bleeding away his worry.

"Something is definitely wrong," Dipper agreed, looking to Wendy.

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, "I'm getting hee-bee jee-bee's just standing around here," she said, brushing her shoulders off, "and that's not the adrenaline for crashing my bike and probably hitting my head six or whatever times. Actually... I think I want to sit down some more? Cool," she sighed, and approached an outdoor bench, and sat down, leaning on her knees.

"You need help?" Dipper asked.

"No, I'm good," Mabel assured him. Waddles swayed over to her, propping up onto the bench as best he could. With his large flat nose, he sniffed at her, giving the girl little pig-nosed kisses.

"I do too," Soos said, "something here isn't right... uh," Soos walked over and sat next to Mabel, "I need a second."

"Sure thing," Wendy nodded. She turned, and nudged dipper with her elbow. "Up to us to check this out."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded.

Ascending a small wooden staircase, the two entered a public office lobby of some sort. The interior reminded Dipper of the Gravity Falls police station, where wood and poorly chosen decor made a log-cabin like feel seem even more tacky. Dipper looked around, seeing various tourist signs.

"Well, it's good if that's still there," Dipper snickered, pointing to a sign in one of the broacher stacks, where a small picture of a bigfoot snuck in the backwoods. Wendy glanced over and snickered.

"Yeah," she said, and passed Dipper, approaching the stand.

A new voice, gruff and bored called to them. "Can I help you?"

Dipper turned his head. A tall ranger in a wide-brimmed hat stood behind the long counter, eyeing the two with what Dipper was certain was a suspicious glare. His face held a strong five o-clock shadow, and his beady black eyes watched them unfalteringly.

"Hi," Dipper approached him, rubbing his hands together, "Uhh... so, I'm, uh, going to sound really, really weird when I say this," he assured the officer, who never blinked or moved. "Right," Dipper sighed, "so, uh... has anything weird or... cataclysmic happened recently."

"...No."

"Oh, good," Dipper nodded and chuckled, "because... I'll just cut to it," Dipper looked to Wendy, who was going through dozens of broachers in a rush, "we're trying to get to Gravity Falls. We think we missed... an exit?" Dipper tried, looking back out the window, sure that he should have passed it yet.

"Sure. Which state?" the officer replied.

Dipper snorted. "Here. Oregon. Really near by. By Scuttlebutt lake."

The officer took his turn to snort. "Never heard of it."

Dipper's heart stalled. "Sorry?"

"Scuttlebutt lake? Closest one 'round here is," and he pointed over Dipper's shoulder. Dipper turned, reading the sign for 'Sparkle Lake Park', "you're in the ranger station for the park, after all," the officer told him with an adjustment of his pants.

"Uh-" Dipper started, but Wendy stomped on over.

"What's the date?" she demanded.

"July thirty first," the officer glanced to her, an eyebrow raising.

"Year?!" she barked.

"Two thousand fifteen," he took a step away from the counter.

"And you've never heard of Gravity Falls?" she demanded, leaning on the counter, closer to him.

"Wendy," Dipper gulped, eyeing the physical take of the ranger.

"That's impossible!" she said, "my family ships huge amounts of lumber out of state! Corduroy Mills!" she said, "big shippers! You've heard of it!"

"I haven't ma'am, and I'd ask you to please lower your voice," he said, a tone of warning presented.

"Wait, what about the Mystery Manor," Dipper added, "or- or the Duskhope concert? Uh, the Two Thousand Fifteen Business Convention?!"

The Park ranger eyed the two, his hands at his side, nervously inches away from his pistol. Then, after he looked to a window, he cracked a smile. "I get it," he nodded.

"Huh?" the two asked.

"This is a prank," he said, pointing to them as his tension lifted, "you're trying to pull something on me. Boyfriend, girlfriend- let's put a ranger on the edge and get 'em to laugh for a bit," he chuckled.

"This isn't a prank!" Wendy snapped. Dipper went to speak, but his mouth had suddenly gone slightly dry.

"Listen, Ma'am," the Ranger shook his head and grinned, "I know the history of this park- part of the job, see? And this park has a long, unimportant history. The only thing out there in those woods? Bears. In the water? Beavers. Maybe a sasquatch out there, to the folk that believe that sorta thing, but-"

Dipper trembled and stepped out of the office, trailed quickly by Wendy. Worried words from the Ranger carried past them, yet it was as effective as a breeze to stopping them. Outside, the three pairs of eyes turned to them, watching them with a sudden burst of worry.

"What happened?!" Mabel demanded, forcing herself to stand with a painful groan. "Did you throw up or something?"

Wendy made to speak first, but her throat had gone dry. "I... we, uh, inside... there's no..."

"What's going on?" Soos begged. Dipper marched past them. He saw his reflection in the side of his car, bouncing off him, and from it he saw their gazes. He couldn't face them, but he would still say his mind.

"Gravity Falls no longer exists."

The breath left Mabel and Soos.

"How?" Mabel quietly murmured. "It was an explosion."

"No," dipper turned to them, his eyes no longer focused, "it makes sense now: why there's no debris or ruin. It was a reality explosion. Grunkle Stan said it was a reality explosion that was coming that would consume the world, but it only got so far out."

"But nothing actually happened!" Mabel implied, holding her hand around, "see?! No carnage! Nothing!"

"Yes it did," Dipper whispered. "If... if reality in an area ceased... anything that existed there may never have come to be. So... if a town; a history; a... people... were caught in an explosion that destroyed reality-"

"They'd never have existed to begin with?" Soos asked.

Dipper could only nod.

After a pause lasting a very long five seconds, the first one to act was Wendy. She held her head in her hands. Her voice started low, and she walked away, pacing back and forth as her eyes darted around.

"My family. My mom's resting spot. My friends," she said, each choice bringing her face further and further away from a balanced state of mind, "everything I ever knew... is gone?"

Dipper couldn't say it again. Yet he didn't need to. Wendy fell to her rear, pulling at her hair. There was nothing that any of them could say to relieve her of that level of agony. Wendy cried, holding her shoulders as her tears fell to the dried gravel below her.

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel whimpered.

"Yuki," Dipper added, his own lip trembling.

"My... master..." Mabel cried, limping up and over to Dipper, holding his middle as her own sobbing began. Dipper fought hard as she hugged his back, staring into the reflection of his car.

His mind raced.

His mind was numb.

He needed to act. He couldn't act.

"How do I fix this?" Dipper begged himself. In the reflection, no answer came to him. "**How do we fix this**!?" he demanded of himself, spit flying from his gritted mouth.

"That is a much better way to ask that question."

Mabel's arms flew off Dipper as she whirled around. Soos and Wendy hastily gathered near her and Dipper. He never needed to turn, however. Approaching him in the reflection, leaving the woods nearby the parking lot, was a tall figure in a long, black cloak, wearing a scarred silver mask.

"Y-You?!" Wendy hiccupped.

"Who else?" the figure repeated.

"Guardsman," Dipper proclaimed, turning around to face the entity of shadow.

"But the town-" Mabel started.

"Is currently lost," the Guardsman sighed, his deep voice resonant as he stopped just past the parked bike, standing before them in broad daylight, "along with the stone of conservation, and any hope of stopping Omir Steindorf's plan. But no, I am still here. I was able to-"

"Escape," Dipper growled, passing by the others. "You!" he pointed to the guardsman, "we needed your help!" The tall figure peered down at Dipper, watching his movement with a serenity that Dipper found insulting. "Arline thought you were coming to help us! Save the town! Fight Omir!? WHERE WERE YOU!?" he shouted, leaning into the space of the figure.

The tall, masked thing said nothing. He adjusted his stance, and reached behind him. From his hand, he pulled out a piece of printed paper.

"That's... from the underground base for Graupner," Dipper realized quickly, spotting the sigil for 'Steindorf &amp; Co'.

"Technically it was Omir's," the Guardsman stated, and held it to Dipper, "this paper full detailed the plan they had next. I stole it away from their little base the moment our little encounter ended.

Dipper furiously swiped the back of his hand forward, swatting away the paper. "I don't need your evidence! You abandoned us!" he shouted.

"Omir detailed that as soon as the charm placed on the stone had been removed, he planned on summoning you all to one location while he acted on another. By ensuring I was able to remove others, I could have... minimized casualties."

"Could have?" Mabel asked.

The Guardsman's gaze fell. "Others were... not so compliant with my attempts to get them to safety."

"But if you escaped," Dipper pointed to him, "did anyone else?" The Guardsman slowly shook his head.

"No one you'd like to know," he said.

"But... but your job," Wendy stepped next to Dipper, poking at the creature, "your existence was to protect the stone! Now it's gone! What the heck are you even doing here!?"

"My job... is to repair the damages Omir has caused, "the Gaurdsman announced.

"How!?" Dipper spat. "The town was just destroyed- it was removed! From existence itself!"

"Yes, it was," the Guardsman nodded.

"There's nothing around that can do that kind of thing!" Dipper pointed out, "we don't have fancy alien technology that can reverse this anymore, we don't have the kinds of spells to combat that kind of power, and we... we can't do anything..."

Dipper trailed off, his furious energy driven to the brink of despair. How could anything else _be_ done? Dipper felt the hopelessness when he and Mabel had been atop the alien ship, being told that the entire population of Gravity Falls had been wiped away from reality. But... unlike then, there was nothing left. No traces remained, no small inklings remained, breadcrumbs to follow.

"True."

The four stared at the figure.

"Today... nothing can be done," he added, looking to each of them, "this day, you've lost. _We've_ lost today."

Dipper's breath shot out from his body. He couldn't help it. To hear that from possibly the scariest and most confusing entity in his life was... it. There was nothing else that could be said.

"However..."

The four looked up to him, Dipper focusing on the being before him.

Slowly, deliberately, the being raised his hands to behind his mask, as one hand lowered the hood. Light finally struck the unseen visage that had always lurked out from sight. One, two straps were undone, and with a pop, the face was revealed.

"There will always be a new day," Zander Maximillion said, lowering the mask in his hands.

* * *

_The Promise_, by Globus

This is the part where I recap a few things that I want to point out in the chapter as a means to start the Author notes. Usually fun, silly, and nonsensical. But... how can I do that about an entire season? To answer your question, I can't. There's too much.

All of it, every moment of Twins, the Mystery Gang, the adventures, the feels- all of them were because you guys and girls made me want to write more. Every single week, I find the time to come up with more and more content for you to enjoy and read. I wouldn't have this drive to create unless I didn't know that hundreds of people were waiting each weekend to see what I had prepared. That touches me so profoundly, to think that hundreds of people read this, and that thousands have read it and will keep reading it...

I can't thank you all enough for having such an honor. I may give the sweat and typos, but you all are the beating heart that kept this story alive- keeps the story alive. So, with as little as I can manage, I can at least say this: Thank you so much.

First thanks go to the craziest friend I've made yet from this story- EquestrianIdiot2.0. The guy is a maniac of ideas who just keeps on pumping them out like a factory line. I don't know how he does it, but I'm greatly envious of his writing talent and more. Check out his stuff if you haven't already. Anyway, thanks man. You're awesome.

Second thanks have to go for you friends who review so consistently that I may as well call you my 'internet neighbor'. In order of... ALPHABET, I would like to thank as well: adventuremaker16, ApocryphaFreeze, Aqua burst 07, Bigmike33321, ChibiPandaYuki, , Cipher Decoder (WHY HAVN'T YOU MADE AN ACCOUNT!?), CPFTheAuthor, Dipper D. Pines (reading fanfiction about himself. Hmm.), DJS (WHO SHOULD GET AN ACCOUNT ALREADY SO I CAN TALK TO 'EM, GOSH!), Double-Tarts, dragoncreators, E350, Effervescent Dreamer, Extreme Light 9, Felipe666, Fenrir Wylde Razgriz, GlassSwan00, HufflepuffHeroine, Human6-246-581-385, Kuroi Kage X, Malica15, Mango Supreme, Montydragon, OMAC001, Paramillo, pepsicle, PFDroids5198, rawrxsushii, RGZ Archer (who I've not spoken to in a while, and that makes me sad.), RunFromTheDarkness, SirDippingS4uce, Storm101, TechnoFusion, TiPoLover 22, tlegg13, Tristrike, TweenisodeOrange, UltimatePhangirlZoe, Watcher In The Dark, Webb360, Whitemysticalwolf, and Wild card in the deck.

Without your constant love, positivity, and critical eye in a few cases, I wouldn't be at this still, desperately trying to make this something really worth reading.

Thirdly, to my mostly anonymous readers and one-time reviewers, I want to thank you all as well. The occasional burst of humor and insight you all give me is astounding. Just as my close friends above, I couldn't be doing this without your help and support. You all make me want to keep doing this.

And finally... who else could I thank, but the man himself, big A.H.

Alex Hirsch is a madman genius who will stop at nothing to make probably one of the best comedy central cartoons in a long while. It's his own work that has inspired mine, and brought me some great people to know over the inter-webs. I sometimes wonder if he peeks on here for ideas (SERIOUSLY. A few freakin' coincidences line up a bit too well! CONSPIRACY.) and his work leaves us all craving more.

So... thank you all. So, soooo much.

Now that _that's_ out of the way, let's talk about my own terrible news- Hiatus.

Yes, that's right, a Hiatus is coming. For all of November, I'll be off RtGF. Why? Season three needs work. Aside from that, I really need a break guys. It's not easy writing 20 pages a week constantly with a full-time job and a social life, and my fingers are angry that I've not given them more rest. So until December 6th, expect nothing.

Oh, but what's that, I hear? October isn't over? There's still one week left for things? YOU BET THERE IS!

I'm taking yet another leaf out of Alex Hirsch's book and doing, what else, a non-canon Halloween Episode! YEAH! WHAT! UHH!

What is it based on? Good question. Up to you.

That's right, I'm taking a single commission. Until This Monday evening, anyone can Review and put up a suggestion. Theme, Idea, story, ANYTHING- as long as you also tell me why. I'm not looking for 'because lol', I want a legit reason. Try to keep it in the spirit of halloween- which means spook, or even scary and horror theme, but in the end, this is supposed to somehow take place in RtGF. No limits, just tell me what you want. :)

Oh! Almost forgot. Here you guys go on the previous vigenere codes. I knew those would give you guys the hardest time, so... yeah. Here you are.

Monster Politics: Guardsman. I Dream of Deals: Dreams. Broken Earth: Portal. (Also, that one Vigenere got split in half. Write it down as one- not two sentences. Sorry. :P)

There you go. For those of you who have enjoyed the extra tid-bits that have lead to this, I give you the keys of the past. Enjoy your new hindsight. :D

Well... write those reviews if you want your idea to be considered. May the best one win! 5 Weeks until we're back on canon story!

Remember.

There will always be a new day.

-EZB

* * *

Ranger Mathias Thornman had taken back to his lackadaisical post in the station. It had been a near hour since those strange kids had come running into his station, talking about the weirdest things. Whatever 'Gravity Falls' had been, he hadn't heard of it. He had double checked they left, scanning the building once to ensure they hadn't gone out of their way to set up any pesky traps. But, his mind assured, he would not be experiencing any nasty surprises any more.

Finally back on his chair and his feet up on his desk, he just opened the next magazine in his 'to-read' list when the front door opened with a slam.

"I NEED A FIGURE OF AUTHOIRTY!"

Startled with a bolt of energy, the Ranger nearly fell off his seat.

He jostled his pants, hiking them up a few extra inches. Then he approached the counter again.

Before him was a middle-aged man, wearing glasses and a long-coat in his hands suited for winter.

"What's the problem, sir?" Ranger Thornman stated, adjusting his hat, "are you in danger? have you been hur-"

"I need to know where the town Gravity Falls is!" the man shouted, slamming his hands onto the counter.

Immediately, all respect for this figure fell from the Ranger. "Ugh, this again," he grumbled, "so, I get it, it's a phase of pranks, is it?" the man stated.

"I... what on earth are you talking about? Pranks!?" the middle-aged man said, messy hair and large nose defining features, at least until he lifted his hands, balling them into fists. The Ranger quickly, to his shock, counter six fingers on each hand. "I'm not pranking you! I'm here on a very serious problem!"

"I suppose you're also going to ask me what the date is?" the Ranger guessed.

"Date? Well..." this paused the man, who glanced around. "My word... actually... yes. What is the exact, full, astrological date, if you could?" the man inquired.

The Ranger sighed. Same deal, different person. "July thirty first, two-thousand fifteen."

"MY GOD!" The man bellowed, taking a long step back, "more than thirty years?!"

"Can... I actually help you with something?" the ranger snarled, "or are you just going to start quoting 'Forward to the Past' at me?"

"I... no. No, thank you for your help, sir," the man said, baking away slowly. "I appreciate your help."

"You tell your friends to cut this game out. We officers have important duties to attend to," the ranger pointed to him with a glare.

"Wait... others?" the man paused, listening intently.

"Yeah. A bunch of kids asking for 'Gravity Falls' and asking about dates. Look, I don't care, just leave me out of it, got it!?" he barked, and the man gasped.

"There are others?" the man said quietly to himself, holding one of his six-fingered hands to his chest. "My word... who..." he glanced up to the ranger, "well, thanks for your time," he said and swung up the door next to him, "I'll... uhh... go bother someone else, right? Ha-ha."

With that, Stanford Pines slammed the door behind him.

"A pair of kids looking for Gravity Falls?" he repeated. "Curious. If only I knew where to start."

A flicker of shadow above him had the veteran scientist flinch. He glanced up, and falling from the sky were... pictures.

One fluttered in front of him, and he reached out. His eyes widened as his gaze fixated on a single figure on the gathering of kids and adults alike: An older man wearing a fedora, cracking a sly grin for the camera.

"It... can't be..." Stanford said. His gaze pierced and analyzed the picture, peering deeply into it's hidden messages. He recognized the building in the background, barely underneath the various signs and posters littered atop it. He did not, however, understand or know any of the people along...

"Stanley," he muttered. With the picture in his hand, he slowly slid it down a pocket in his jacket. Looking to his left and right, the six-fingered man finally spotted a bus stop.

"I've got some answers to find, and some 'kids' to follow," he told himself, and marched over to the bus stop.

Once there, he sat down on the wooden bench, and crossed his arms.

"...Once the bus stop arrives."

* * *

**(Not Vigenere)**

**Gsviv droo zodzbh yv z mvd wzb. Hvzhlm Gsivv droo yvtrm hsligob**

**-AND-**

**(Vigenere)**

**Ay ybz pihsd tung trvx aai we d jxvvjk nuame gms nrjws 'Nsr kkw wal bwco uhmr' nb tdwlee tf rwttsu, N kzod tlytk prm mo nsmkkagg lti'u oade vshf Vwtsbs hyuwx. Jhxh ydnx tuj gljyxsgnce dk iaey cw wzx rrawvz. **


	63. Halloween 2015 Extravaganza

_Beyond the terms of dreams and demons, past the veil of nightmares and... other scary things... There is place of sheer darkness so great and endless that those who wonder cannot be told are 'lost', as they have no where to go. This realm, this place, is not a hell. Nor, however, is it a peace. It is an in-between._

_Purgatory._

_And it's really foggy. Like, super foggy._

_Wait... who wrote that? That's so unprofes- OH! It's still on?! SHOOT!_

_...Ahem._

_Out from this mist that lingers against the ground, a gentle swish of cloth heralds the coming of three._

_These three are feared, respected, and loved all as one. They bring the coming, the now, and the to be wherever they go. Grand is their title, for none others have it. Except their cousins, and there's a ton of those. Not all of them are quite as spooky as these three though, so... they're cooler._

_C'mon, that part wasn't even scary. Ugh._

_Oh! Here we go. They step in unison. Of separating heights and bodies these three come closer, stepping from the void of darkness, rebelling shadows and peeling from the empty of the blackness. Only a few feet from one another, they finally come to a halt. Dark hood concealing their bodies and faces, they stand together, silently._

"Okay dude, I'm so excited about this Halloween! This year's candy stockpile is going to be better than the last!"

_... Almost silently._

The middle figure, the tallest of the three by half a foot rose his hands and removed the hood of the long cloak with a quick toss backwards. Instantly, the head and face of Soos appeared, giving his short hair a gentle rub as he looked between his compatriots.

"We're talking crazy levels of cool! Parties, and pranks, and a new episode of Fixin' It With Soos! Starring me!" Soos turned a thumb to himself, "Soos!"

_These apparitions, and their grand powers take the forms of those they please... this is how it __**seems**__ that Soos is a spirit... but not really... Soos? Yeah. That._

"Oh?" The furthest to the left of the three asked, as a young woman's voice floated out, "we can start being normal again?" A young teenager revealed herself as she too lowered her hood, shaking her head side to side as she freed her hair onto her back.

_Seriously? Mabel! Put that hood back on!_

Mabel blew a raspberry. "Now way! You're just jealous that you couldn't be part of the three ghost identities, so you bartered for," Mabel quoted with her fingers, " the 'Creepy narrator'!"

"And to be fair, he is kind of creepy," Soos admitted, and looked to the far left.

Mabel too turned her gaze and followed it with Soos. Sitting off to the side, on a small table with a lamp over a large script of paper, Dipper stood on a chair, a microphone in his hand. He scowled at them, his eyes boring through the darkness and to them.

_... Maybe if you'd- GAH!_

Dipper gnashed his teeth and dropped the Microphone, "maybe if you'd let me actually have a part as some spirit, I wouldn't have wanted to be the narrator so badly!"

"Sorry Dipper," the final hooded figure said firmly, holding his posture despite speaking clearly, "there were only three spirits in the original Charles Dickens story, and only three in this story. Otherwise, I'd have gladly had you join us."

The teenager flinched, and his gaze faltered. "Well... fine," he cleared his throat, and popped off the seat, "since this is going so well, I'm just going to go... chill with the others now..." Dipper popped off the seat, dragging his loose papers along with him as he parted the mist, mumbling under his breath bitter retorts he would not say.

Dipper stormed past only a small desk in, what appeared to be the corner of a very large stage, passing a lanky man with messy hair, who was feverishly typed on a computer. As Dipper passed, he glanced up, giving an uncertain stare. To the three would be specters he lifted his shoulders quickly in a shrug.

"Go on," he encouraged.

"As you say, inconspicuous Author-like-person," Soos nodded.

"Well, since I'm the only person who's still under the hood," the third voice stated, and lifted a six-fingered hand to the brim. Removing it, graying hair was finally visible as Stanford announced, "Welcome to the first 'Return to Gravity Falls Halloween Extravaganza'!"

"YEAH!" Mabel roared, puffing out her chest and beating it like a gorilla.

"Tonight, or today, or whenever you guys are going to be reading this," Soos shrugged as he followed up, "on Halloween, we decided that we're going to be taking a moment to celebrate the darker aspects of this kind of story. And what better way to do it-"

"Than by having the three honorary spirits of _Summerween_," Mabel topped it off, "come in and tell the tales!"

"Also it's probably worth mentioning that the story took quite the dramatic turn during the last one, so we'll be, uh," Stanford scratched his neck, "working on the next part of the real story. The canon story as I'm told to call it," Stanford glanced to the writer on the desk, who nodded and gave a thumbs up.

"Which is, ironically, not canon to the real story," Soos admitted, "so, really, we've established our own Alternate Universe of sorts."

"We should have a name for it!" Mabel decided, hopping on her feet, "like 'Awesome-Falls'!"

"Or 'Grown-Falls'," Soos added.

"I personally like the touch of 'Continue-Falls'," Stan pointed out. The Writer cleared his throat. The three 'spirits' all looked to him, and the man wove his arm in the air. "Ah, but regardless what we want it to be called, we're not here to discuss it. We're here..."

"To haunt you," Mabel said, grinning devilishly.

"The readers, that is," Soos nodded as he smiled pleasantly.

"As we had with Stanly-" Mabel started.

"Who did much worse at dealing with three spirits haunting them than you did, already," Stanford grinned.

In the distance, perhaps some thick wall, someone shouted, "I heard that you petty poltergeist!"

"-We now have with you," Mabel finished.

"So, we're going to tell you three haunting stories," Soos explained, the fog at their feet and legs swirling in rapid, rising columns, "each carrying with them a piece of the past," he pointed to Mabel, "the present," he pointed to himself, "and the future, "he nodded to Stanford. "So, uh... Mabel!" Soos spun to the female twin, "go!"

"Okay... I had to really put some thought into what kind of story I should frighten your pants off with," Mabel said, wringing her hands together with excitement, "but... I think I've got a pro to compete with," she shrugged at Stanford, who bowed at her compliment, "so I'm going to stick with something else. A story people have been wanting to know for some time, amirite, mister inconspicuous writer fellow in the shadows?" she asked, calling to the darkened desk.

"Yup," the man said, nodding as he continued to type away.

"So, without further ado," Mabel bowed, and grasped the ends of her cloak, "let me tell you the story of a certain red-head..." she withdrew her hands, and the mist billowed out, covering the very air itself.

"Not the End."

* * *

"Chug!"

"Chug!"

"Chug!"

Wendy Corduroy obliged. The apple cider had no chance as, against two football players, she allowed her throat to open and nearly drown herself in five cups of apple cider in the time it took two older, physically larger, brutish sportsman to drink... one.

"BAM!" she shouted, and slammed the five plastic cups on the ground, splashing the floor with traces of her vanished drink. Around her, the crowd of heavily dressed, make-up, and otherwise festive teenagers cheered and hollered. The two boys across from her, easily a year or two older than her, stared and grumbled- their honor compromised.

"Don't worry about it, dudes," Wendy said, brushing her long, red hair from her face, "taking on a corduroy on anything short of rocket science is a gambit. Besides, "she pointed to the empty cups they had dropped, "you're not far behind."

"Whatever," one grumbled before pushing themselves away from the main table. The other sighed and glanced to Wendy before following his comrade with a drooped head.

Wendy could only shrug, and turn to the onlookers. "Anyone else?"

It had been two hours since Tambry's party had started. With great anticipation, Wendy had suited up as best she could- a fantastic outfit of orange and black- long skirt and pants with what she could only describe as 'badass black jacket'. Did she rock the jacket? Heck yes she did.

With her own friends present, Wendy was in comfort zone. They were the unspoken rulers and law-bearers of the parter. Dozens of people had come- friends, rivals, enemies- all would come to Tambry's party. If she invited you, you found out. Either through her or her one of her contacts. After all, she had every single person in Gravity Falls High down in her phone, including the janitors.

Wendy naturally showed. She was never one to shy away from people who wanted to have fun, especially when she got her own kicks out of it. Halloween was as good a holiday as others, and when it came down to finding excuses to run from her maniac family and her dads own... insane ways of celebrating the holiday, this was among the better ones. So, with minor make-up and great get-up, she sauntered to Tambry's home, and rocked out.

Wiping away the remnants of juice on her chin, Wendy side-stepped to the kitchen, where many found themselves with food and drink. Wendy had brought her own water, as she knew her schoolmates had a habit of altering the contents of the drinks present. Nothing sinister, certainly, but her instincts, along with her dad's upbringing, taught her to be prepared.

Giving a pat on the back two a couple of cute freshman chatting, Wendy made it to the main table.

"Mmm, vampire's blood," she murmured to herself.

Her voice and words stirred memories in her mind. It had only been two months since the Summer ended. The summer where so much changed. Her world. Her friends. Herself. The first summer Wendy really understood that the stories of nightmares coming to life were no exaggeration.

After all, of the things she had actually met, Vampires were among the more tame things. She looked around, and spotted someone dressed as an old-school housewife with dressed up hair, instantly calling to her as Ma Duskerton. Wendy shuddered.

"Just... chill," she reminded herself, taking a long breath, "things are different now," she said, and closed her eyes.

Wendy hated to admit it, be ever since the twins had come and gone, that lie never worked any more.

An exclamation of annoyance caught her ear. Wendy blinked her eyes open and smiled as someone came to her. "Tambry," Wendy smiled. That smile was short lived, however, as the highly dressed teenager, looking like a member of the Adams Family, rushed over, and slammed her fists into the table, glaring at the fruit punch. "Uh... did the table kill your family?"

Tambry growled, staring intently at the mixture. After a moment, she looked to the red-head. "Did anyone spike it yet?"

"Pssh, no idea," Wendy shrugged. Tambry scowled, reached under the table, withdrew a bottle of clear liquid, and began to pour. "Hey! Whoa!" Wendy gasped, pulling Tambry's hand away from the red liquid. The damage was done- there was plenty of the acrid smell in the air to tell Wendy nothing could be done to save the punch. "What gives?" she asked Tambry.

"I need it," the tan skinned girl growled. With a look around her, she took a swig of the bottle in her hand.

"Oh my god, Tambry," Wendy gasped, taking the bottle away, "the heck are you doing?! That looks like really strong stuff!"

"Yeah, that's right," Tambry shrugged.

"What- why- how-" Wendy sighed, calming her actions as she placed the bottle back under the table, "what is going on? Let's start there."

Tambry stared at her taller friend. Her lip curled, and her noise sniffed. She gulped as she crossed her arms. "Uh. Robbie and I broke up."

A wave of cold raced down Wendy's spine. "What?!"

"We got into a fight. He was stupid, and I'm not interested in someone _that_ stupid," Tambry sniffled, wiping a hand across her higher cheekbones, wiping some of her make-up off.

"But," Wendy felt a hand along her scalp, "you two have been dating so well together! Like... scarily well," Wendy gasped, taking the information slowly, shock of the topic having stunned her abilities.

Tambry nodded, her faced screwed up. She took a whole plastic cup, drowned it in the fruit-punch, and chugged quickly. "Oh, you know what," she pointed up, tossing the still half-filled cup aside to the floor, spilling red around, "I'm updating our status."

"NO!" Wendy begged. "Tambry, that's _official_ for you!"

"Maybe he'll _get_ it then!" Tambry snarled, and whipped out her phone. Wendy was fast, and the upset girl had her own phone snatched from her fingers. "WENDY!" she snapped, her dark eyes flashing, "give it back!"

"Not until you calm down and tell me what happened!" Wendy warned Tambry, holding the phone above her head, out of reach to anyone else in the room. Tambry took the promise as a challenge, and attempted to climb Wendy, who merely placed out her hand and held the angered girl back.

"Just- Give- Now- I-" Tambry spluttered as she continued to dance for her device. "Fine!" she gasped, and stepped back, sighing. "He... we talked about the future and stuff."

"Okay..." Wendy nodded, but rooted her hand into the air, "continue..."

"I wanted to talk about the future. See if we could really... do this together. Well, I was wrong," she spat, her brow furrowed tightly, "he just wants to be a traveling musician with a band! Some stupid band called 'Crashing Carter'!"

"Oh, I've heard of-" Wendy stalled her thought, "right. So, uh, how's that work for you then? I guess... not good?" she asked.

"I know I don't want to be dragged around by some music band!" Tambry shouted.

A call from across the house had Tambry spin around. Wendy blinked. She knew that voice, and groaned. "Oh no," she said, watching Tambry's body movement. "No, he didn't... not right after-"

"Tambry!"

Bursting through the door in a huff was Robbie Valentino. Sweating across his face and long nose and sporting a large skeleton-jacket, he stared at his ex-girlfriend. "Wait, Ta- Oh, Wendy, thank god," he sighed, and stepped into the room, "I need you-"

"MINE!"

Tambry leapt up as Wendy's distractions led her to miss Tambry's movement. She quickly snatched back her phone, and then furiously typed away. "Get lost," she snarled.

"Wait, Tam," Robbie pleaded, walking over to her, "I'm just here to talk."

"We did that already. I've made up my mind!" Tambry snapped, and held up the image of a social website. "See that, Robbie?!" she snapped, "That status of 'In Relationship'?"

"You... wait, you're that-" Robbie asked, his voice going hoarse. "Tambry, we can talk about this!"

Wendy looked between the two of them. For the first time ever, she understood why it was girls (who were not her) were considered angry when upset. Tambry leaned towards Robbie, a predatory and vicious glare in her eye as she provided enough reason for him to pull back and gulp. The teenager boy stepped back, his hands at his side and open, passive and surrendering.

"I don't want to talk about this now!" Tambry shouted, her voice echoing around the house. More than a few heads turned into the kitchen. Wendy's head warmed slightly as she found herself accidentally in the middle of a couples fight.

"Okay, so, uh," Wendy stepped between them, "maybe we can chill out for a sec, huh?" she asked between them. "Look, Tambry, he just wants to talk. He doesn't have to do it now, but-"

"No, she's gotta-" Robbie called out.

"Not helping," Wendy gritted her teeth as she spun, glaring at Robbie.

"See!?" Tambry shouted, "always wants his way!"

"I just want to be a rock-star!" Robbie cried out, as a burst of exasperation blew out from him, "why can't you understand that? You can't even listen to me without trying to make me the bad guy!" he shouted.

Nearly half the party was watching now. Tears fell from Tambry's eyes, and she scrambled for her phone in her hands.

"Tambry," Wendy turned and watched her.

Eventually Tambry jabbed her hand into the screen, and closed the phone, and tossed it into a pocket. Staring at Robbie with her tear-soaked face, she said nothing. The moment was long and quiet as many phones began to buzz. Wendy knew already what everyone at the party had gotten as an update.

Status: Single.

Robbie's eyes shimmered, yet he said nothing.

Tambry turned and stormed away, her shorter hair swaying dangerously behind her. Parting through the fearful crowd with ease, the tanned woman made a quick depart, leaving Wendy and Robbie to be the center of attention.

"Dang it," Wendy sighed.

The bundle of energy, rush of excitement, that force of power... Gone.

She was out now. Time to jump the ship before things got worse. She wasn't the only person with that idea: more than half the party quickly began to disperse, leaving the still lively house for the dark, colder night.

"Wendy?"

As she left, Nate and Lee, flanked by Thompson, easily spotted the red-head and approached.

With a heavy sigh, Wendy explained. "Tambry and Robbie just had a huge blow-out in the middle of the party. People not into the freak-out are bailing," she said, hands deep in her pockets.

"So, the status... That wasn't some hack?" Nate asked.

"Or prank?" Lee inquired.

"Or mistake?" Thompson added.

"This is Tambry," Wendy commented, shaking her head, "she'd sooner forget her phone at home than accidentally upload something.

"Dude," Lee whispered.

"Hardcore," Nate nodded, worriedly looking to his friends.

"Yeah. Listen guys," she gave the night sky a quick look, "I'm going to go hang by the cemetery for kicks. You want to chill, you're welcome to, but... I'd let the couple deal with themselves for now. They gotta fix this one on their own, ya know?" she shrugged.

"Yeah. Hey," Thompson looked to his two neighboring friends, "let's go to my parents, grab soda, and meet up with Wendy?"

"Yeah!" Nate grinned.

"Totally doing that," Lee agreed.

"Okay you guys," Wendy smiled and waved to them, walking towards the shadows, "see you in a bit."

Passing into the darkness and away from the growing Gossip she wished to avoid, Wendy stalked against the lining of shadow and light. Nearby the edge of the street, she traced the edge of the sidewalk.

Grass underfoot and dark sky above, Wendy sighed. There was a distant hope that maybe, just maybe, life one day wouldn't be this complicated. Then again, she remembered where she lived. In Gravity Falls. Nothing here, absolutely nothing, was simple.

Except the people.

Wendy chuckled as she gave the thought of the townsfolk living here still after the near collapse of gravity two months ago. They all had just shrugged, like she had, and continued with their lives. She even remembered how little she felt herself effected. It had been, after all, just twenty five feet into the air.

The voice of the twins echoed in her mind. Their orders, worried calls to her: as they worked in tangent with everyone to silence that monster: Bill Cipher.

The weight of her phone rested in her pocket. Wendy gave it a pat, and the momentary thought passed in her mind. Dipper had, being the courageous gentlemen he wanted to be, had given her a phone number, which had, in turn, ended up being his parents. It had been an awkward phone call at first, but a great joke about it afterwards. Since the start of September though, she had not followed up.

"Maybe tonight, buddy," she gave the phone a second thought. "Nah. It's your favorite holiday. Go have fun," she sighed, and strode onwards.

Her feet found purchase along the sidewalk finally, and she strode at a brisk pace. The graveyard would not probably be empty, but it would be quieter. Unless she ran into more real ghosts again. Then it would change her opinion on her plans for the evening.

A loud car horn honked behind her.

"WENDY!"

Wendy blinked and spun around. In his own van, Robbie had come driving to catch up.

"Oh boy," Wendy sighed, and kept walking, facing away.

"Wendy, wait, you gotta help me here!" he called to her, lowering the passenger window, "come in! The seat's like half cleaned."

"Dude, I'm not getting in between you and Tambry," she called, and rushed forward.

"I'm not asking for that either," he assured her, "I just need some pointers!"

"Robbie, seriously," Wendy glanced to him, "you stalking me with your van isn't winning any brownie points with my hlep."

"Well, c'mon," he begged, his car steadily following, "I'm not going to kidnap you or anything! You just know girls more than me, right?" he asked," you know, being one."

"I'm your ex," she reminded him.

"And mine and Tambry's friend!" Robbie retorted. Wendy stifled her voice. Her honest streak bit at her- he wasn't wrong at least.

"Look, dude," Wendy sighed, approaching the van close, but not stepping into the street, "I want you two to be happy, I do, okay?"

"Then talk to her for me!" Robbie stated.

"No way!" Wendy growled, "that stuff is all in your and her hands. Me getting involved only makes things worse. Imagine how she'd feel if she thought you were coming to your _ex_ for help!"

"Well, uh," Robbie gulped, "you were just a, uh, fling, though," he slowly said.

Wendys' eyes iced over as she stared at him. Even if she, more or less, agreed with him, his admittance in it drove the lid and nails into the coffin and then dumped the coffin into the ground and hastily buried it five feet under. With a scowl, she walked away saying, "you're own your own."

"No, wait, Wendy-"

At the corner of the street, Wendy turned down the side, ignoring Robbie's voice. She did turn though, spinning around as something much more shrill and boisterous caught her attention.

At first, it was the loud honk of a horn.

Then came the loud crash of steel and shattering of glass.

Screams. Some from her, others mixed along.

A dull, heavy pain passed through Wendy's body. She wasn't standing anymore, but she never remembered sitting down or moving. All she knew was very quickly she was no longer walking down the street.

She couldn't breath. Something heavy and flat pressed against her body, crushed her slowly as the massive weight of the object meshed her form with the grass next to the sidewalk.

Just as searing pain bore into her lungs, and yet she was unable to scream, a loud, powerfully manly voice screamed. Her name was being called. She was being summoned, called. It made no difference- she couldn't move.

She felt so heavy.

Everything was dark.

So dark.

So heavy...

With a jolt, Wendy shot up from lying down, her arms at her side.

A sheet covered her, and her eyes were blurry.

_Had... had it just been a dream?_

Wendy shuddered. Something was wrong. If she had been dreaming, why was she lying on... metal? Why was only her thin, plastic-like sheet across her body? Why... was she entirely nude underneath it? With a gasp, she realized someone stood next to her.

Small violet lights shimmered and fell as sparkling stars, dying in the space between her, and Robbie Valentino, who panted heavily as he closed what appeared to be a heavily worn, ancient book.

"WHAT THE HECK?!" she roared, holding up the sheet to her body.

"Shh! Whoa- It worked! Uh- chill!" Robbie spluttered, a rush of color in his face as he deliberately turned away from her. She noticed a tremendous amount of scratches on him, a more bruises than she had ever seen on him before.

"Wait," Wendy's eyes focused her vision sharpening, "Robbie... I'm in a hospital, right?" she asked. The glowing lights, now totally left of Robbie, left a dismissed look in the boy's appearance. He seemed... more than just scared. "Robbie," she slowly said, now realizing that next to her table was a serious of very, very nasty looking sharp implements.

"Wendy, just keep it cool," Robbie begged, "c'mon, just-"

Wendy leapt off the metal bar, which fell away from her with a loud crash. Robbie stepped away as Wendy hastily wrapped everything of the thin sheet around her, trying her best to keep the private bits hidden. Robbie ran to her, and she stepped back. Fear and panic drove into her like it had never before. Meeting ghosts for the first time wasn't _anything_ compared to waking up in...

"A morgue!?" Wendy gasped, looking past Robbie to a large white-screen with many x-rays of what Wendy could quickly tell was... her body. "I'm in a morgue!?"

"W-wait, Wendy!" Robbie raced to her, dropping the heavy book as he did.

It was too much. Wendy blinked and ducked under him. With nothing but the wrappings around her. In a blur, she was out of the room, and running down a hallway. Dim florescent lights illuminated as she passed underneath them, and then she faded into darkness.

She ran past a janitor, mopping the floor. He stared at her until she got closer, at which he dropped the mop and ran, his eyes wide with fear. Wendy never noticed the wet puddle on the smooth floors until her foot struck slick surface. She slipped straight up into the air, and landed with a resounding and terrible **crack**.

A moment of pain seemed... faster than expected. She knew she would be in pain, but she could still see and move. Maybe she had only gotten a bad bruise from the trip. Either way, she had to keep moving. Wendy needed to move! Run!

Out the back doors and into the woods, Wendy soon realize she really was, with no doubt, in the Gravity Falls Morgue.

The woods were a blur of color and motion. Running through them, striking tree and branch, cutting into her skin and toes with rocks and twigs, Wendy ran with her life on the line. Nothing slowed her down. Adrenaline surged through her body with endless bounty- more so than ever before. She couldn't _stop_, let alone slow down.

_This has to be the dream_, she thought to herself, _I'm out cold because something bad happened, and now I'm dreaming! What is going on!?_

Despite her best efforts to calm down, her choice of running made it only worse. The night in Gravity Falls was scary enough know what was out there- but now she was in the middle of the woods, rushing through trees. No protection, no hint of direction, and no clothes brought Wendy's already state of panic into an absolute pandemonium.

Yet the cold of the air never caused her shiver. Her feet never ached from jumping off rocks as her hands never cried when they grabbed the rough barks of trees. Her lungs always stayed warm. Her eyes never watered. She was fine, even though her mind screamed that everything was wrong.

Then, all at once, she burst out from the edge of the woods, nearly stumbling into a street, and tripping off the sidewalk she passed over. The grass let her land softer than she imagined. Though she remembered stubbing that toe on a full sprint. The fact that she felt nothing wrong with the toe meant bad for her. Gingerly, she raised her foot as she turned to the night, and looked to her foot.

The toe... was fine.

"What?" she asked, and slowly stood up. With that impact causing her to fall forward, Wendy knew that her toe should be toast. Cracked, broken, splintered- anything could have happened. Yet, standing slowly onto it, she found no ill-effect. She was fine.

"Weird," she gulped, and turned about, finding her surroundings.

To her shock, she instantly knew where she was: the Cemetery.

Yet... it couldn't be, at the same time. Today, on Halloween, the Valentinos decorated the tall walls that etched the outer reaches of the masses of graves.

To her eyes, no decorations were present. A few pumpkins did stand freely before her: Jack-o-lanterns unlit and rotting.

She stumbled forward, ignoring the climb in terrain as she rushed up the hill and entered the graveyard. Something drew her here. Her mind calmed for some odd reason. Though she knew it was strange, Wendy _wanted_ to be here. It was... natural for some strange feeling.

She turned a corner, her mind and body playing against her. She was not entirely sure she was guiding her own steps anymore, as she slowly lingered towards graves she knew well. She was moving towards her mother's own resting place. She could even see the lights her father put up every halloween...

But there were far more than needed.

Than she remembered.

And there was a new tombstone.

Wendy stalled as she finally saw the name on the tombstone.

Her knees buckled.

Falling to the ground, her mind reeled to understand.

She saw her own name carved into the stone next to her mother's.

"No," her voice was a harsh, hoarse whisper. "How?" she begged, touching and feeling her own arms as, for the first time since waking up, she felt cold.

Heavy breaths and steps behind her were ignored. A single figure approached, out of breath. Robbie stepped next to her, holding his stomach.

"I... you... needed... to... slow down," he managed to say, sweat falling from his temple.

"Robbie, I'm dead?" she asked him. Despite his pained look on his face, Robbie stalled, looking to her with a deep empathy. Slowly, he nodded and sat down. "Oh my god. I'm a ghost now," she gulped.

"Not exactly," he muttered, and held out a satchel around his shoulder. Reaching in for it, he lifted out clothing- hers. "Here. What I managed to grab."

Wendy looked to his hand. It was the clothes she had remembered wearing to the party. Yet it was dirty. Horribly dirty. Grass stains, splashes of mud, and... crimson spilled across the surface of torn fabric. "Robbie," she whimpered, "what happened to me?"

His own voice broke as he spoke. "I... tailed you a little close, and... and your dad- he- hit the side- pushing me- I couldn't get..."

Wendy's throat seized. "My-my dad? Wait," she spun to face him fully, no longer caring about the only partially opaque wrap around her, "you said he hit you?!"

"My van," Robbie added.

Wendy froze. A grand, horrible reminder began to wash over her. The pain, the suffocation, the darkness: It had all been real.

"I was run over," she whispered, the words dragging out from her mouth as a trail of agony. She clutched her ribs and stomach, aware that the last things she felt was a horrible sense of washing pain, central to her core. She saw Robbie nod, and tears fell from her eyes. "Oh my god," she sighed, looking to the night sky, "people think I'm dead!?" she demanded.

Robbie gulped again. Loud enough to turn Wendy, he stared and gave his next word a serious thought before giving it aloud. "You are dead."

"I'm not," Wendy quickly rebutted, "how can I be? Look?" she pointed to herself, "dead people don't act, move, or behave like me."

Robbie nodded. "I wasn't going to let me _let you_ die. I... I found an old book," he shrugged, "hidden in the back of the library- the kind of book with... crazy stuff in it. You know, not that I read any of that-"

"Robbie," Wendy growled.

"Sorry," he cleared his throat, getting back on topic. "So... I brought you back."

"How?"

"Magic!" he exclaimed, "there was this spell, one that revived people as a, uh, something scary sounding honestly. But I couldn't get everything right," he admitted with a scratch of his head, "I... so I did my best," he shrugged.

"So I'm... not dead?" Wendy asked, a smile on her face, "you brought me back to life?" Warmth began to spread through her body again. "Oh man. Oh man!" she laughed, and Robbie stared at her with fear, "this is going to make the best story ever! People thought I was dead for... how long? I mean, gravestone here must mean-"

"A week," Robbie said.

"Oh dang," Wendy hissed, "I missed a week of school too. I wonder if that means I can get away with any crime now," she chuckled, "can't blame a dead girl."

Robbie's smile was weak, and quickly faltered. "It's not, uh, really like that. When I cast that spell thing, uh, it never fully... revived you."

"Huh?"

"Well, I know you were running," Robbie took a long sigh, and lifted up his hands to her, showing streaks of blood across his skin, "you missed a few things."

"Oh dude, what happened to you?!" she asked, "you got shredded!"

"It's... not my blood," he told her. Wendy froze. Watching his hands slowly, she saw how easily he dragged his fingers across, showing no wounds underneath the hands that would explain the trails of crimson. "It was your blood," he quietly said.

Wendy glanced down, looking to her own body. No scratches or cuts remained. "But I'm... fine..." her mind screamed otherwise. The evidence inside her skull began to pile. She remembered the crack on her head, the burning whip-like cuts in the woods she had ignored, and the horrible stub her toe had received. It all made sense- she _had_ been harmed, and then it did nothing to her. "What am I now?" she managed with rattling words.

"I think they're called 'wraiths'," Robbie shrugged.

"Think!?" She spat.

"Look, the spell wasn't complete, so they said something called a 'wraith' is what happens if you don't complete the spell, and you're-"

"What does that even mean!?" she demanded.

"It means had I done the real spell, you'd be under my control!" Robbie shouted, "the real spell was supposed to raise you as a servant to me forever!"

"A... no... then... I'm not revived... I'm undead?" she slowly came to realize. Robbie said nothing. His face had gone white. "Oh my god," she muttered, "I'm not human any more."

"You are!" Robbie argued.

"I..." Wendy stood up, snatched the clothes from the boy now below her, "I..."

What could she do? If she had been dead for a week, and was a monster, who could she go to? Her dad? Her brothers? Friends?! In this town, people were now on guard for the weird and mysterious. She, as horrible as it was to accept it, was now part of that spectrum of weird and mysterious.

"I can't go home," she declared. Robbie stood.

"Let's talk this out first," he tried with her, "maybe, uh, you can chill in my parents basement-"

"No way," she firmly stated.

"Look, it only smells a little like formaldehyde," he shrugged.

"No."

"Okay, fine," Robbie nodded, stepping back, "so, then, what are you going to do dude? I mean, you kind of need to, you know, be somewhere?"

Wendy spun about, looking at the cemetery. "I should be here technically. Dead."

"Look, just because they got your tombstone ready for you doesn't mean you were buried, smart one," Robbie angrily lashed out. "You're still upright. You can go home."

"As a monster?!" she shouted, stepping into him. "I'm sure that'd go great at the door. 'Oh, hey guys, I'm back, don't mind me, just an undead monster who's come back to live with you'," Wendy recited the scene in her mind, ignoring out the last bits, where her father chased her out with his hand axes.

"Then..." Robbie swallowed, "I'll figure out a cure."

Wendy stared. "You... you really think you can?"

"It's just a spell, right?" he shrugged, a grin coming to his face, "no biggie. I'm not an expert or anything, but I got that far, so I can find out how to go the rest of the way," he decided. "Yeah. I'll figure it out!"

"Well... okay," Wendy nodded, "I'll... help."

"How?" he asked, "you don't want people to come see you now."

"Bring your research to me," she told him, "and I'll help out," she said, grasping her clothes tightly to her chest, "I'll go steal my clothes from my dads. He won't know I'm home at least..." she said, dreading the possibility that she could run into her family, wearing thin white sheets and bloodied clothing, "...I hope."

"Well... alright, sure man," Robbie nodded, "I'll get started on that," he told her. "Uh... you sure you don't want to hang out in a coffin at my parents place or whatever?"

Wendy laughed. "I think I'll be okay. I got a dozen secret spots in the woods I use for stuff. I'll just chill by those until I'm cured, and then rise from the dead like any other great religious figure and be chill."

Robbie snorted, holding his gut as he restrained from laughing. Wendy also allowed a smile. There was hope, it seemed. Robbie's eyes twinkled with anticipation, and he stood up as well, and patted Wendy's shoulder. "Tomorrow, here, same time."

"Sure thing man," Wendy grinned. Robbie nodded, and strode past her, moving towards the darkened home on the distant hill, deeper in the cemetery. Wendy's mind called to her another name, and she suddenly spun around, and shouted, "Hey!" Robbie whipped around. "Did you and... Tambry ever... you know?" Robbie's eyes darkened. His face grew stern, and his hands squeezed themselves tightly. "Ohh..."

"That's... yeah..." he managed to blunder out.

"Sorry man," Wendy said, trying to pocket her hands. "Dang it, right, no sleeves."

Robbie nodded, that positive energy sinking away. "Tomorrow?" he asked her.

Wendy looked up, and managed to give him a small grin. "Tomorrow."

His own nod was short and curt, and he turned once again, leaving her to the darkness of the graves. She turned and found herself by a large, tall grave, and quickly removed her wispy trails of sheet and applied her clothes, albeit torn and mostly ruined.

While walking from the exit of the cemetery and back into the woods, Wendy smiled to herself. She was lucky. She wasn't a corpse now. Her end wasn't last week. There was more to it. She had more to do, more time! She could see her friends soon again! Make fun of her dad, tease him about this, and not worry so much.

Yet, in the deep recesses of her mind, there was a worry. Something un-explainable. Something sad.

However, without evidence to understand the fear, She shrugged it off. With one last sigh, she said, "Huh. Death...it's really _not_ the end," and stepped into the woods, fading into shadows.

* * *

"Aww, dude!" Soos wailed, holding an arm to his face.

"I know," Mabel sighed, "but as the representative of the past, I gotta tell it upright. I really, really wanted there to be a dozen more scenes with sparkles and glitter..."

"Still," Stanford said, patting Soos's shoulders, "while this is a sad beginning, and we know it continues to be... sad for a while more," Soos let out a long cry, and covered his face, and Stanford fought to continue, "we all know her life does improve. She does find her friends. She finds you Soos, and my brother, to console in," Stanford explained.

"So... so I guess that's not too bad," Soos sniffled.

"Yeah! I mean, half of the sad stories I start with have good endings!" Mabel smiled, her warm cheeks and eyes granting Soos the strength to remember peace.

"True, hambone," Soos wiped tears from his eyes, "true. So, I guess, uh, it's my turn?" he asked the two on either side.

"Yeah fluff-god!" Mabel grinned.

"I would think so," Stanford nodded.

"Well, alrighty then!" Soos clapped his hands together, rubbing them excitedly, "it is my pleasure then to bump up the fun factor to a higher number! Like eight or something!"

"Out of eight?" Mabel asked.

"Eh, maybe. Probably on a ten scale, but who knows, it was just a guess," Soos admitted. "So, this story, which is _totally original in every way_," Soos slowly said, glancing over to the writer at the table, who looked back to him.

"I don't think you're allowed to say that, Soos," the write guessed.

"Oh. Well, uh," Soos scratched his head, "It was 'heavily inspired' from another work. Is that better?" he asked the writer, who nodded. "Aw sweet! This one never happened in canon, so buckle up friends and bone-friends! Time to get into territory this story barely covered- the actual time of the Show!"

"Whoa!" Mabel gasped, "is that even possible?!"

"No idea," Soos admitted, "but here's to trying dudes! So, the name of my story is..." and he too lifted his jacket, but instead of fog, bats raced out, squeaking as they fluttered their leathering wings.

"Monstrous Mistakes!"

* * *

For a town that seemingly always had something to do, this was a day of... nothing. Cursed, horrible, blasphemous nothing. Dipper and Mabel, twins of twelve, sat in the living room, desperately trying their hardest to find a show worth watching.

"METAL COOK- INTERNATIONAL!" The television screamed at them, "and the special ingredient of tonight's episode? TOE-NAILS!"

"Pass," Dipper grumbled.

"But I love the Nomming channel," Mabel complained, yet did nothing to stop the change.

"And we now return to _Politically Incorrect Cartoon_," the television said as catchy, overly triumphant themes played.

"No!" Mabel shouted, and stole the remote in a leap.

"C'mon," Dipper scowled, "mom and dad aren't here to tell us not to watch it!"

"I don't like the way they draw it. It looks dumb," she declared, and changed the channel.

"Hey dudes," a voice from the hallway called to them. The twins, ignoring the rapidly changing channels, as Mabel had forgotten to lift her thumb from the button, faced Wendy as she stepped into view, her eyes closed as she yawned, "please tell me there's a mystery today we can get behind. Something. Anything."

"No customers today?" Mabel asked as Dipper shook his head.

"Try 'there's not a soul out' today," she grumbled. "Soos is the same- he's so bored he's actually considered breaking things deliberately just so he can fix them."

In the distance, a loud crash of metal and springs called from the kitchen. "Oh no!" a voice called out, "looks like the toaster broke! Time to fix it up! And it tooootally wasn't my fault the toaster fell straight to the floor in anyway! Ha-ha!"

"See?!" Wendy said, "going stir crazy in here!"

"I know," Dipper nodded, "I'd say let's just go into the woods and find stuff, but that's never worked well."

"Aww, no curses or ancient secrets today?" Mabel asked her brother, craning her head to peer directly behind her. He shook his head slowly. "Well, maybe we can make something!"

"Effort?" Wendy asked, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the wall. "No way... gosh, I can't believe this, but I think Stan coming back to the building would be an improvement."

The twins sighed and silently agreed. Their grand-Uncle had vanished an hour ago, after hearing word that someone was doing a yard sale, and the someone supposedly had freaky stuff. Freaky enough stuff for Stan Pines to add to his collection was strange enough, but as usual, the old man threw caution to the wind and departed, rushing to his car and driving away.

The front door slammed and a voice cackled with excitement.

"And suddenly I regret my words," Wendy sighed.

Rushing into the living room was Stan Pines, fedora atop his head, and a box in his grip. "HA! Good! I needed you all here to brag to! SOOS!" he shouted.

"Ahh!" a second crash in the distance heralded the coming of Soos, who after a pause appeared next to Wendy in the doorway. "Yes, Mister Pines? I was in no way destroying any of your possessions intently."

"Hah! Even if you did, that doesn't matter! It turns out," Stan grinned to the group, "that yard sale I went to- the one I was going to totally rob when the old fart wasn't looking?"

"Yeah, we know Stan. It's the only thing that's actually happened today," Dipper grumbled.

"Except when I farted so loudly I lifted off the bed upstairs," Mabel declared.

"Well," Stan continued, reaching into the box in his hands, "turns out the old coot on the other side of town, this crazy looking guy in bathrobes with a long beard, had some crazy stuff on him!"

Lowering the box to the ground, Stan reached inside and lifted a large, thick belt with gold and jewels encrusted along it's edges. Shining and gaudy, the four watched as Stan chuckled, placing it around his midriff.

"Now, watch in amazement," he said, and reached to one of the crystals and poked it.

The four gasped as Stan's visage instantly changed. No longer was Stan Pines the human standing before them. Instead, a large lizard-like human blinked at them. A hissing smile stunned the twins, and Soos cried out.

"Bring back mister pines, you beast!" he declared, and threw a wrench at Stan. Spinning to the handiman just in time to duck under the attack, the snake-pines hissed and pressed the button again.

"SOOS!" Stan yelled, "that was still me! This belt," he pointed, "makes people look different!"

"Oh. Well. Good thing I missed you, and instead hit the mounted moose antlers," Soos sighed, "that could have been bad."

"Turns out," Stan looked to the twins, "that old fogey was a wizard this whole time! Some 'fearsome' and 'ancient' foe," Stan quoted with sarcasm, "who happens to have a great curveball."

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"When I stole the book, he started tossing heavy books at me with deadly accuracy," Stan admitted, lifting his shirt and jacket to reveal dozens of thick bruises along his body. The four groaned and looked away, trying to avoid the aged, hairy body altogether. "See? He's got an eye for book-throwing," Stan nodded as he lowered his shirt, mistaking their groans for empathy towards his damages.

"So, what are we going to do with it?" Dipper asked.

"Are we going to use it as leverage to make those in the town fear our name, as we become true shape-shifters, bending the populace to our wills!?" Mabel asked.

"Dude, sis, what?" Dipper blinked at her.

"What?" Mabel shrugged, "it could work."

"The plan is that one of you two," Stan pointed to the twins," waits while I do a tour with that belt on. When I get nearby, you do the thingy I did," he reminded them, pointing to the gem, "and look like some freaky monster, which then I prompt the groups to give me even _more_ money!" he said, rubbing his hands together.

"Wow," Dipper said, stepping off the seat and inspecting the belt up-close, "you're finally stepping up to real scares instead of fake ones. I'm impressed."

"Yeah, yeah, say whatever you'd like," Stan sighed, and groaned, "oh, dang it, there goes the adrenaline. Ow. Those bruises hurt," he groaned, and quickly removed the belt, holding it out to Dipper, "take this and go put it away in one of the rooms by the displays. I'm going to take a long shower and remind myself why I do these things."

"And why is that?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know right now, Dipper!" Stan barked at him, "That's why I'm going to take a shower, so I can remember!"

"Or at least lie to yourself until you do believe it," Mabel shrugged.

Stan pointed to her. "That's my girl for ya."

As he vanished around the corner, the four stared at the belt. In their hands was a device of absolute magical, powerful, arcane energy.

"A belt of changing forms," Dipper mused, holding it out for all to see, "we should be careful with this..."

Giving the four a quick glance around, he grinned, "or we can do what we want and see what this thing will do!"

The four all rushed out, Dipper with the belt in hand, as they raced to the gift shop. Wendy flipped the open sign to closed, and they all stood around the belt.

"Okay... who wants to go first?" Dipper asked.

"ME!" Mabel screamed, and snatched the belt from his hands.

"Careful!" Dipper shouted, "it could effect you in ways we don't quite understand!"

"Meh, I'll live. As a THINGY!" Mabel said, and placed the belt on. "Boop!" she declared as she jabbed her finger against the same gem Stan had. Instantly Mabel changed: two triangluar ears protruded from her head of the same color as her hair, a long, thin, furred tail popped out from the base of her spin, and the same light brown fur spread throughout her body as her eyes took on yellow hints. "What am I!?" she demanded of the others, trying to better see herself.

"Some sort of cat thing," Wendy shrugged.

Mabel fell to her knees, and screamed. "YESSSSS! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

"Well, glad you enjoyed it, my turn," Dipper grumbled, poking Mabel.

"Hey, I'll scratch you if you poke me," Mabel warned him as she stood up. With the same 'Boop', she de-activated the belt, and handed it to Dipper. "Bleh! I think some of the fur is still in my throat. I understand now why cats hate those furballs. Ugh."

"Okay," Dipper sighed as she placed the belt on, "here goes nothing... and-" he pressed the gem tentatively.

Dipper blinked, but not that the others could tell. They all gasped and stared at his face, their eyes wide with shock. He looked down to his hands, and gasped. He couldn't see them. "I'm invisible!?" he declared, "oh my god this is the coolest! I can sneak around and no one would notice me!"

"If you were naked," Soos pointed out.

"Oh. Right. Well, that theory and fantasy is blown," Dipper sighed, playing with his hands, which was much harder to do without actual vision on them.

"Dipper, make a fart sound," Mabel begged.

"What?"

"Just do it!"

"Uhh..." Dipper tentatively blew a raspberry. Mabel clutched her stomach and fell backwards, laughing harder than she had in the past week.

"THAT'S THE GREATEST! CATS! INVISIBLE FARTS! BWAHAHAHA!"

"Okay, that was fun," Dipper grinned, and in turn removed the belt, returning to his standard visual self. "You guys next?" he asked, presenting it to Soos and Wendy.

One by one, they all had their chances to try it on. Soos became a Rhino-man. Wendy grew wings and talons. Mabel grew a second head and had a back and forth with the second head (to the other's terror... excepting Soos, who thought it was great). Dipper had tentacles for arms and legs.

More and more they wanted to use it. The forms changed each time, seemingly random and entirely up to fate to decide. Soon they were placing bets on who would turn into what next. It was a game of many losses and few victories. The energy around the belt, their excitement, grew and grew. The twins loved this thing- it was the ultimate party trick.

"Okay, wait," Dipper said, de-activating the button from his form, close to a tiny yeti, "I think I got it. I'm going to be a-"

"Hey, my turn," Mabel growled, and reached out for the belt.

"Mabel, hold on, it'll just take a second, "Dipper pulled back, his hands firmly locked onto the magical object.

"You had your turn, doofus. My turn! I want to be a giraffe woman!" Mabel shouted, and lunged for the belt. Dipper clutched onto the worn magical device tightly as she clutched onto it, and fell to the floor.

"Let go Mabel!" Dipper shouted, pulling her across the floor, "I said I'd be quick!"

"Well it's not going quickly, is it?!" she barked.

"You're not letting me go!" Dipper shouted.

"Guys!" Wendy stepped in, pulling on Mabel, lifting her up and tugging.

"Hold on there," Soos said, pulling on Dipper, "can't we fight after we have fun? Not in-between?" he begged.

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

The twins pulled and tugged. With a gasp, the grip from Dipper slipped, and Mabel fell back and onto Wendy, who also fell. As with her brother, the grip on the belt slipped, and the golden, multi-colored belt-piece soared into the air.

Four faces froze in shock and fear as it slammed into the ground, and every single gem fell out of it's socket, scattering to the ground like grains of sand. The belt hummed and buzzed, sparkling with energy as it rattled against the wooden floor.

Then a large poot of steam emerged from it, and it remained still.

"Oh... that's it?" Soos asked, frozen with the others, "uh, so... well, that's not bad."

A wave of energy blasted out from Soos. Shimmering, golden, bright sparkling magic soared out, blinding the four as it easily passed through everyone and everything in it's way, seemingly harmless.

Dipper hit the ground as Soos stumbled back. His head was in pain- heavier than it felt normally. His eyes swam as he tried opening them. There was certainly movement before him, but it was only just enough for him to try harder.

"Mabel?" Dipper asked, seeing the brown hair sway up and down.

"Dipper-" her voice choked.

The male twin gasped as he spotted the difference. Mabel had lost her legs, and gained one long, large, scaled fish-tail. He turned and faced her, and realized she was clawing at her neck, where a set of gills were now present.

"Oh no! Mabel!" Dipper tries standing, and fell over on his face. He growled and bent down to lift his legs, and found, instead, a quad of deer legs. He yelped and spun around to his lower half- now entirely that of a deer. "I-I-I'm a-"

"Dip!" Mabel gasped.

"Right!" Dipper spun about, facing his sister, still drowning in air. Using his thin arms as support, he slowly stood on his toe-less hoofs, realizing the effort that deer had to stand on their own. Two more legs than usual, Dipper stood and began to hastily wobble his way towards the bathroom. He tripped, and slipped down the floor with a loud crash. "Dang it!" he growled, "uh, Soos! Wendy! Mabel needs help, and-"

A flash of red color darted past Dipper as a figure pelted over him, panting, and disappeared down the hallway. Not five seconds later, a red and rust colored, fur-covered, pointed eared, long canine-snouted, Wendy lapped back, holding a bucket of water in her maw.

"Oh my god, Wendy?" Dipper asked, looking over her.

She panted before him, and lowered the bucket to his feet. "Boom," she said, her voice entirely un-obstructed by her new mouth, "retrieved in record time. How's that?" she grinned, lying down in front of Dipper, her green eyes shining with excitement.

"Got the water, dawg!" Soos's voice stated.

"Thanks!" Dipper turned to Soos, and again gasped.

Soos's body was melting. Or at least, it was constantly melting and re-arranging itself to form him. his body had taken on the texture of mud, along with the color of clay. His hands, retaining form but seemingly in a state of falling apart, grasped the bucket and lowered it next to Mabel.

The now mermaid girl lifted herself up and chugged nearly half the bucket. "Oh thank goodness," she gasped, and slowly drank handfuls of water, "well... I can't breath air so good, guys," she admitted with a shy smile.

"You're telling me," Dipper sighed, trying to stand up again. His lets buckled, but finally he stood, able to feel all four points of pressure underneath him. He glanced behind himself, spotting his deer-backside, and the small white tail that flickered as he stared at it. "That'll take getting used to."

"Aww, Dipper," Mabel cooed as she drank more water, "you're adorable!"

"Shut up," he growled, "at least I can stand up."

"At least either of you have a stable form," Soos chuckled, slapping his hands together, where much of his muddy-body gently exploded away. "See? I think I just lost a quarter of a pound in weight."

"That's- Dipper started, but Wendy, on all fours, approached the nearest splash of mud, and began to sniff at it. "Wendy?" he asked. the wolf-woman extended her now long tongue and lapped the mud once. "EW!" Dipper gasped.

Wendy flinched, and looked up. "What?" she asked, and then quickly realized what she had done. "AW! EWW! What the heck instincts?!" she demanded, standing now on all fours, which seemed difficult for her, as her new legs bent at new angles. "Ahh, this is hard. Okay. Wait. Got it," she grinned, and stood up fully, an impressive six feet tall.

"So..." Dipper looked around. His sister, drinking water to survive, Soos, trying desperately to collect his dripping mud, and Wendy, who already lowered herself to scratch behind her ears with her foot. And then there was Dipper, who had become... half deer. "We're monsters," he announced.

"I'm going to guess... belt, bro-bro?" Mabel asked, dripping water along her face as she looked up to her brother from the floor.

"Looks like by breaking it, the power inside it exploded out," Dipper hypothesized, scratching his chin as he paced, his hoofs clopping against the wood loudly. "Man is that distracting, he growled as he looked down to his legs."

"You're adorable," Mabel chirped.

"So, everyone is more or less the same?" Soos asked. "I'm a tad more drippy than usual, but that isn't much different."

"Uh, I have the urge to chase things," Wendy added, holding out a clawed hand.

"C'mon, you can fight that urge though," Dipper chuckled, and tossed his hat across the room. Wendy watched it go with intent focus. "See? You don't even-" Wendy darted and leapt into the air, snapping jaws onto the hat with a snarl. "Oh," Dipper gasped, as Wendy galloped over to him.

"Dude," she said with a muffle, his hat still in her mouth, "toss that again. Was soooo awesome."

"Even if I wanted to," Dipper started, "I'd need my hat back."

"No way!" Wendy yelped, "I caught it. It's mine."

"But... my hat," Dipper whimpered as Wendy turned around, the hat proudly stuck in her mouth. As she sat down against the cashier counter, scratching on her neck with her foot, Wendy began to absentmindedly chew on his cap.

A loud stomp and bang alerted the group. Wendy leapt to all fours, growling at the source. Dipper leapt into the air and darted behind Soos.

Marching into the room was a rock entity. Wings of stone and a yellow glare as a hulking figure wearing a black suit, red fedora, and a large, chick tail of similar cracked stone all attached to a figure with shockingly similar build to Grunkle Stan.

"Okay," the beast grumbled, holding a clawed hand to his face. "Who did what, because I know something happened that caused me to feel even _more_ stiff than usual. And have wings and a tail," Grunkle Stan's voice grumbled from the creature. "To be fair, I was sure I always had horns here," Grunkle Stan lifted his stone, clawed hands up to his face, grasping the two protruding horns atop his forehead.

"So, uh," Dipper started, stepping out from Soos, "we may have... uh..."

"Who did it?" Grunkle Stan barked, his already naturally loud voice enhanced by his new features. The twins pointed to each other, Wendy shrugged, and Soos pointed to himself. "You're pointing to yourself, Soos."

"I know. I'm speculating in my new form, it's impossible for me to really be hurt, since I'm always in a state of falling apart. So, I blame myself, for the betterment of us all," Soos explained.

Grunkle Stan sighed. "Okay. Just... let's see the damages. I've got a Faun and a Mermaid for grandkids, and a blob and werewolf for co-workers... this doesn't seem all that different than the usual," Stan grumbled. "On the other hand, I really, really want to be able to step into sun without becoming a solid rock. So, let's see the stupid belt."

Dipper quickly trotted over, lifting the fallen stones and belt over to Stan. The con-man glowered at the broken belt, muttering to himself. "Course it's some cheap-ly made magical item. Couldn't be actually worth anything, could it? Pfft."

Again and again Stan tried re-inserting the stones into the sockets. Nothing came of it, as his frustration boiled and boiled.

"Dang claws!" he glared and stepped away. "Well, we're cursed forever. I can't do it."

"Let me try!" Mabel called from the floor. "Sparkles and gems are, like, my greatest soon-to-be craft.

Her brother quickly obliged, taking away the stones and belt from the angered gargoyle to the happy mermaid on the floor. Mabel worked quickly, figuring out which stone fit into each socket with little effort. Once, however, she had reached the exact location of all of the gems, placing them became an issue.

"I don't think I can do this without crazy cool tools," she said sadly. "Or magic. I wonder..." she peered at the belt, her eyes focusing. "OH! Wait! I know! If I sing, maybe it'll fix itself!" With that, Mabel cleared her throat, and began to sing at her best.

"Oh god," Stan growled and marched over, lifting the belt and gems as Mabel gave her best voice, "no more of that."

"So, what do we do? I'm not too keen on letting my dad see that I will have to shave more than he does," Wendy grumbled, lifting her arm up to see her fur in all places of her body, "man, my friends would never let it drop."

"Well, easy," Dipper surmised, "we take it back."

"What?!" Stan barked, "look, just because I have stone for skin now, and probably a rock-heart, doesn't mean the bruises from earlier hurt any less! I'm not taking that thing back to the loser old man!"

"But he was probably a powerful wizard!" Dipper reasoned, "he probably made that for some exponent, and if we send it back to him, he could fix it, and reverse this curse!"

"Hehe, reverse the curse," Mabel grinned. "That's funny. Oh! Shoot! My magical song!" and she continued to sing.

Grunkle Stan glared at his niece, wincing at her singing. It was by no means anything horrible or shrill, but his gargoyle features seemed more grumpy than ever. "If it means we get her to stop singing, I'm all for it now."

"Okay. So, after the sun sets," Dipper decided, "we'll all go to this 'wizard'."

"Sure!" Mabel agreed. "Someone, uh, anyone- can you fill my bucket up again? It's getting a little low."

Wendy barked loudly, spun away, and was gone again.

"Aw, she's so cute when she tries to help out," Mabel said with a happy sigh.

Over the course of several hours, more facts had been discovered. One: the curse had spread a tad further than expected. Every single human in Gravity Falls had become a sort of monster- ranging from the simple to the extreme. Two: people were surprisingly okay with it, as it was everyone who was a seemingly frightening monster. Regardless, the five continued with their plans- especially when news came in that some of the monsters had a distinct edge on others- Pacifica Northwest had threatened to turn people into stone with her medusa-stare.

So as the sun set, one by one the five got into Soos's car and made it across town, spotting the new and colorful array of monster-inhabitants in the region. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland flew around the town in the air- now conjoined dragons. Robbie skulked around town- a zombie with several missing features.

Across town to the outskirts, the five exited the car into the dirty and table- strew lawn of a supposed wizard. Exiting the car as carefully as he could, Dipper stumbled out and suddenly understood why Stan had been drawn to this place. The male twin stepped to the back, and opened the backdoor. In a wheelbarrow, Mabel sat in a tub of water.

"Soos, help me out here?" Dipper asked. With the help of the handyman, the two lowered the girl to the ground. "Thanks. Ready for a ride, Mabel?"

"You bet!" she beamed, splashing some water into her mouth.

All manners of items were on display- ranging from innocent and plain, to the unusual and bizarre. Stuffed animals with eyes that followed them, books that began to levitate as he grew closer, and to his shock, a crank mouth prank item that insulted him as he passed by all could be found.

"Hey, hey doe-face!" the teeth shouted, "you got a nickname, right? Oh, I got it- _Roadkill_! BWAHAHAHA!"

"His jokes aren't nearly as good as mine," Mabel scowled as they passed by the amused item.

"I dunno, I could learn a thing or two from it," Stan mused, scratching his chin.

"Oh, look, a dog-woman!" the teeth spotted Wendy, who paused, walking on all fours, and glared at the teeth. "You know, I bet you're great at fetch! That is, until someone throws something into the kitchen- then you just get stuck in there, because it's where you belon- AAAH!"

Wendy snapped out, and with maw along it's side, shook her head side to side viciously. The teeth screamed in fear and pain until it was unleashed to the side, falling into the woods with a descending cry.

"Jerk," Wendy spat on the ground.

Grunkle Stan cleared his throat. "Okay," he said, glancing to the others, "just remember, this guy has a wicket aim. Books are like bullets to him. So if you see one, just hit the deck."

"Don't worry mister Pines!" Soos declared, "I'm a natural shield! I've got you covered."

"Okay. Just stand back," Stan said, and adjusted his tie. "Okay. Here we go." Stan only had a chance to take one step out towards the front door when a book hurtled out from an open window and struck him in the face. "OW! JEESH!"

"Take cover!" Dipper shouted, and dived for the ground. Mabel watched as her brother, Soos, and Wendy all ducked down, leaving her alone inside her cart. She made an attempt- pressing her face against the bottom of her small pool, which barely covered the back of her head.

"I'm good," she bubbled up.

"Get off my lawn!"

Stan and the others looked up to the window in question. An old man with a large nose, very long grey bead and long hair leaned out, still completely human. Wearing frayed gray robes and brandishing a staff, he scowled at them.

"You already took my belt! Look what you got! Now, leave me be! I want nothing more to do with you!"

"Look, sir," Dipper stood up, stumbling onto his feet, "we know our Grunkle Stan is kind of a selfish thief."

"Hey!" Stan growled. "I'm at least accomplished!"

"But it's wrong to punish everyone because of his mistake," Dipper reasoned, "I understand that you're angry, okay?" he said to the wizard, who stared down at Dipper, "but please- reconsider?"

The Wizard slowly observed the five. With a heavy sigh, he gave Dipper a nod, and pulled back into the window. The front door, a large wooden door to a crooked looking house, slowly opened as the Wizard stepped out.

"Very well, I shall assist you in reversing your predicament," he announced.

"Awesome!" Wendy said, "because I've realized that I might start licking myself to clean, and I'm _not_ looking forward to that."

"But to reverse this curse, you must go on a dangerous quest," the Wizard said, holding his staff before him, "a perilous, deadly search for items that are needed for the breaking of this new spell. One, that surely, no mortal would ever undertake. I would advise you re-consider your-"

"Well, I'm not technically mortal anymore," Stan shrugged.

"You- what?" The wizard stuttered.

"Me neither," Soos nodded.

"But... well... three of you are still of flesh and blood," the Wizard point to the twins and Wendy.

"Eh. Werewolfs can mess you up man," Wendy warned, "I've got this."

"And I'm faster with two legs," Dipper added, grinning.

The Wizard, his eyes wide with shock, silently pointed to Mabel. She, in return, said, "my singing is now _magical_, since I'm a mermaid princess."

"GAH!" The Wizard clutched his hair, frustration buffering his voice. "I-you-this- no one has ever actually considered my proposal! Be scared! Flee!"

"We're really not the kind of people who do that, though," Dipper told him.

"Well... uh... then... you can't be helped," the Wizard announced, crossing his arms together in a pout.

"Wait, you said we could go on a quest to relieve this curse!" Mabel pointed to him. The Wizard scowled. "You _lied_!?" she gasped.

"A wizard never lies," the old man grumbled, "nor does he fib. He says precisely what he means to!"

"Well, you can precisely tell us what we need to do, or this gargoyle is going to precisely claw out your face!" Grunkle Stan roared, his wings opening out in their impressive wingspan.

"Okay, okay, wait," the Wizard, clutching his staff tightly, "Look... let me see it?" he asked, indicating the belt. Stan let it out, and the Wizard tentatively approached it. "Hmm... yes..." With a flash of movement, he took each gem and shoved them into their sockets without a single problem.

"What!?" Mabel gasped, leaning out of her water, "that was amazing!"

"There," the wizard said, and pocketed the belt, "that will fix things."

"Will it?" Dipper asked, looking down to his lower half, "because I'm still feeling kind of deer-ish."

"Cuuuute," Mabel grinned.

"It will take some time, but the spell will fade away," the Wizard grumbled, "as the stones are now in place, they will begin to charge up. After three hours or so, the spell will vanish, leaving you all in your predictable human forms."

"So... we just sit around and do nothing?" Soos asked.

"I don't know," the Wizard, "I don't have spells to cure boredom. Figure it out on your own," and without another word, he stepped inside, and slammed the door behind him. Stan, still the gargoyle, quickly reached out and snatched a large golden pocket watch. "Put it back," The booming voice of the wizard warned him.

Driving back to the Mystery Manor was a fast endeavor. Unloading Mabel was problematic, as spilling her water could be dangerous, but she remained helpful and supportive to their efforts. An hour after they started, the five had returned to the gift shop, exactly the same as before.

"Great," Stan sighed as they, "so we just wait for this spell to wear off, and then... what?" he asked.

"I dunno," Soos shrugged, "the fun of being a slime monster kind of wore off by now."

"Yeah," the three others agreed.

"And to make it worse," Wendy sighed, "there wasn't anything to do today anyway."

The five looked around, dumbstruck as to what to do.

"Well," Dipper wrung his hands together, "I got an idea."

Fifteen minutes later, the five sat around a large, drawn graph, dice on the floor and sheets lining the ground.

"Okay Soos," Dipper told Soos from behind a large board, "you convinced your boss that you're actually a normal human being. What do you do?" Dipper asked.

"I want to shake his hand and tell him he's got an awesome tie," Soos told Dipper.

"Right. Go ahead a roll for 'charisma'," Dipper said. Soos nodded and lifted the dice. Instantly, it sunk into his hand. "Oh... Uh..." Dipper stuttered, watching his die vanish from sight.

"Hmm. I wonder if they'll pop out of me when I turn back into a human. I hope so," Soos gulped.

"I want to roll for 'playing Strongholds and Serpents: Normal Life Edition' is dumb," Stan raised his hands, sitting cross-legged and just as grumpy.

"I think it's a wonderful idea!" Mabel cried out.

"That's because you thought of it," Dipper sighed. "Well, Stan, your car is out of traffic now. You want to roll for parking?"

"Sure," Stan sighed, and took up the dice. As he tossed it to the ground, Wendy suddenly lashed out, biting the dice and darting off with it in her jaws as she snarled. Blinking, without his primary dice, Stan asked, "Uh... does that mean I crashed? Is my character dead?"

With that, Dipper groaned and fell forward, slamming his forehead into the ground.

* * *

"Well, Soos," Stan clapped the shoulders of the Handyman, while your abilities at telling a, uh, cohesive story are-"

"Awesome!" Mabel declared.

"Yes, sure," Stanford cleared his throat, "I'm certainly glad you didn't get into the details of the game, as I would probably begin to wither and die with the many details you would inevitably miss."

"Sure thing! That's why they were playing 'Modern Life' edition," Soos reminded him, "that way, as monsters, they could enjoy the recollection of being mortal, and the boring lives that followed."

"Ah, yes. Sure. But, yes," Stanford adjusted his stance, and then opened his arms out, "now, it is _my_ turn. As one of two masters of horror, I have already picked a story."

"So we got sentimental out of the way, friendly fun stuff," Soos counted off, "and now all that's left is just plain scary. Exciiiited," Soos said, standing next to Mabel as they both bounced in place, listening intently to Stanford.

"It's like watching an ancient samurai slash a thrown apple into six sliced, knowing you can only throw the appple," Mabel told Soos.

"Absolutely!" he agreed.

The darkness around the three swelled, growing in greatness as even the mist began to die away. As the light around them faded, slowly coming to only reveal Stanfords hooded head, he spoke.

"This is a story set in the times of Return to Gravity Falls, or Continue-Falls. The setting? The Mystery Mansion. When? Just before Summerween. Uki-Dohth, the main character, is settling in for a night of patrol, as he has only just had his day of rest. Now, this night, something terrible comes. This story is called..."

"The Prowling Darkness."

* * *

The nights of Gravity Falls were not quiet. At least during the summer, which was all the long stranded Alien Uki-Dohth knew. He was certain that maybe during other times of the year, it was more quiet in the woods. During the summer, it was a beautiful chorus of bird calls, insect chirps, wolf or coyote howls, and the occasional unknown screech.

Uki-Dohth, or Yuki as others affectingly referred to him as, was the official night watch of Gravity Falls. Alongside Soos, he was the tinkerer, upgrading appliances to better their value to the rest of the building one at a time. Yet, when all others had gone to bed, he would pace the halls, looking at the collections and items that laid about.

He would do so at a casual, peaceful gait. Sometimes a shadow would be cast against a certain Stanley-made object, and he would hurry past it, his fear eating away at his better mind. Yet he was at ease in the dark. It was quiet, and he could think. Really think. This was the time he was alone to his great thoughts- the complicated thoughts he always held in. Remembering the formulas that he had to keep a secret until humanity was ready for them, he would sit on the porch in the darkness, watching the stars wistfully.

Not this night.

One night, he was indoors all the time. A heavy rainstorm slammed into the walls, clattering against windows of glass and plastic alike. It was harder, at first, to adjust to the constant din. After all, he had more on his mind.

The twins had a recent adventure- one that found them an abandoned and burned down village in the woods. There, Dipper had uncovered something, or so they said. They weren't certain to what they had found, but Yuki had seen something in their grasp- the size of a large book, covered with old, fossilized dirt.

He hadn't put much else thought into it. Unless they called for his help, Yuki let his young friends do as they please. While emotionally they were relatively the same in age, his mental cognition was some seventy years senior to them, and twenty to his boss and primary patron- Stanley.

So, pacing the halls he had before, Yuki walked around in the dark as he stared at the shadows and outlines of many displays of 'scary and unusual' monsters; all of which were fake.

Yuki's foot stopped as it squeaked. He blinked, looking down now. He saw water under his foot, and so he stepped back.

"Odd," he muttered, and leaned closer. After being in the dark for so many nights, his superior vision allowed him to see the trails of water on the ground. Yet... there was nothing else. At least at first. Dirt and mud also gently splashed around, forming a small trail.

Staring intently to the ground, he then realized he did hear something over the white noise of the rain- the actual rain itself striking ground. He turned down the hallway, and there, at the far end, the window was slightly ajar.

Squinting now as he thought, the Xabvri stepped closer, each one careful and well-placed. Why was the window cracked open? It had been a hot summer day, and the windows were sealed shut to maintain the cooling air. Why, when it rained now, would someone open it in the middle of the night? Yuki glanced into the gift shop, wondering if someone else was up, sneaking around.

"Hello?" he timidly called.

No reply came to him, nor no sound.

"Hm," he hummed, and quickly stepped over to the window, and with a small slam, shit it tightly. "Perhaps Wendy stayed longer today than I anticipated," he amused himself with a chuckle. "She should have said hello."

Then, turning away from the window, he heard something anew.

Slithering.

Yuki's body froze as he listened, his eyes wide.

It was not that of scale and hissing. Snakes were not uncommon in the summer, and Yuki had seen more than a few in the woods. The sounds did not correspond to the uninterrupted flow of sound- it was more abrasive and harsh to the ears. It reminded him of something being dragged with fabric...

Yuki stepped down the hallway, on edge. He had never, ever heard that sound before from inside the building. Or ever in his life. It was new. Strange.

Gulping away the tightness in his throat, he attempted reminding himself of his new physical strength- a feat he still constantly forgot about. Rounding the corner, and looking down the second hallway, he also remembered that there were more than enough monsters in Gravity Falls to not care about whether or not he was strong.

He was next to the stairs when he heard a doorway above close with a small snap.

Whatever it was, it was upstairs.

His heart raced- it was at the twins!

Yuki flashed up the stairs, passing over six at a time. Getting to the top, he stalled, looking around. More water lead down towards the twins room.

The door was already cracked open when he got to it. With no hesitation, he slammed it open.

"Friends!" he called into the room.

Instantly a reply came to him. "Dipper, go to sleep already," Mabel called, shifting in her sleep to further wrap her blankets around her. Waddles, at her feet, snorted and looked to Yuki from under the bed. He was trembling.

"Mabel," Yuki called.

"Oh," Mabel nearly jumped up, rubbing her eyes, "Yuki, "hey. What's going on? What time is it?"

"Past midnight," Yuki stepped into the room, aware of the shadows around him. "Why did you think me to be your brother?"

She snorted. "He's being stupid again. Doing more research than sleeping and looking into that book he just found. Says he can find out what it's about, or whatever."

After scanning her, and the bed across the room from her, Yuki said, "he's not come back to bed yet?"

Mabel rubbed her eyes, and looked to her right. Dipper's bed, as Yuki said, was entirely empty.

"Dip?" Mabel asked.

No answer.

"He left at nine to read in the storage room," she muttered, standing into big, fluffy, pink slippers. "Dipper?" she called out, running out of the room and into the storage room, "you need to come to bed already, you loser!"

Following Mabel, Yuki watched as she managed the door at the end of the upstairs hall open. Inside the storage room, only a single, flickering electric lamp stood up with the contents of the tome spilled open. Pages, old and worn and rotten were left open. Mabel stepped inside with Yuki, calling around.

"Dipper!" she said, "c'mon, where are you, dorkus?" she said, a tiny bit more worried than intended.

"What is this?" Yuki asked, stepping to the book.

"The only thing Dipper liked at the old burned down village," she stated. "Dipper!"

"What is it, exactly?" he asked, looking at it from a distance. A small tuft of thick hair mixed with water and mud- the same kind he had seen from earlier.

"I dunno- Dipper said it was important. "Dipper! C'mon!" she shouted now, her volume growing.

"Mabel," Yuki stood and faced her, leaving the book at his back, "I believe something odd is happening. I suspect more than just us are in this building."

"Of course! Grunkle Stan is still here," she said. She turned to the hallway, now shouting fully, "DIPPER!"

Yuki swallowed. "No... I mean something _else_?" he tried to use the subtly he had seen Mabel and Dipper use before. Mabel's eyes focused on him. Confusion imbedded into her furrowed brow as she scanned him. Over several seconds, her eyes widened.

"What... what do you mean?"

Steps by the door shocked the two. Mabel spun about, her fists balled up and she presented a posture, ready to fight. At the end of the hallway, a figure emerged, hulking over, with large shoulders.

"What's all the ruckus up here for?" Stan barked, scratching his belly as he approached them, lighting a flashlight, "sounded like you were all having a fight or something."

"What?" Yuki gasped.

"I'm, looking for Dipper," Mabel said hastily, "he's missing."

"Oh. Huh," Grunkle Stan looked around, acknowledging the space, "you're aware that you're standing in the wrong room? He sleeps in the same bedroom with you?"

"Funny," Mabel rolled her eyes, "but he's not there!"

"Really?" Stan hummed, backed up, and looked in the room. "Yeah. Just the pig. Not Dipper. Huh..."

"Stanley," Yuki quickly stepped forward, "I saw something earlier. I heard something strange earlier. Something was moving around the building that I had never heard of before. I cannot exactly identify it, but I know it not to be anything I have experienced yet."

"Okay. So, my grand-nephew disappeared in my own home. Okay," Stan cracked his neck, bending his head to one side, "I don't like that. No one kidnaps my family but me."

"Uh... that's quite... well," Yuki adjusted his stance, unnerved at Stanley's attempts at heroic banter. "Perhaps we aught to trace the steps of how this came to be."

"Huh?" the two asked.

"He was looking into the book last," Yuki pointed to the tome. Mabel quickly raced for it, and lifted it.

"Huh, there's this," she lifted a very old, singed tarot card with a snarling tiger on it's face. "Angry kitty. Bad kitty."

"So, what, a card and book? What does that tell us?" Grunkle Stan demanded.

"Nothing, yet," Yuki turned to Mabel, "can you read any of it?"

"Uh... kind of?" she asked, "like, I can say it. It's not English. Give it a try?"

"Why not," Yuki said, stepping closer.

"Uh... _Coram_ _Paesense, venit creaturae, venator properant_," Mabel mumbled.

"Latin," Yuki gasped.

"I'm going to guess that's not good," Stan gulped.

"Next to Arabic and Chinese, it is the most common language used in spells and curses," Yuki explained, "I have looked into such languages before. Latin is one of my favo-"

The light on the ground and in Stan's hand flickered. Yuki gasped, turning down the hallway. He heard it again. The slithering.

"Something is coming!" he gasped.

"The heck is going on with the flashlights!?" Stan shouted.

"Dipper, come on," Mabel pleaded, "just come out! This isn't funny."

Yuki turned to Mabel. "I think there is more to this than his vanishing. Something stalks this building!"

"Nothing is inside _my_ home!" Stan barked, "except us!"

"What if he's right?" Mabel asked, "what if something got him? We'd-"

Her words were cut off as a drip suddenly fell and hit her nose. Mabel gasped, wiping away the liquid, and gasping. It wasn't water- it was warm. It smelled of rot. Yuki's eyes widened as he looked up as the other two did.

On the ceiling above them, a swirling black mist clung to the rafters, with two red and yellow eyes peering down on them. Before they could take a breath to scream, it descended and enveloped Mabel instantly, entirely. Her screams of panic were muffled, and her form instantly vanished.

"MABEL!" Yuki roared.

Stan bellowed, "GET OFF MY GRAND-NIECE!"

The two rushed forward, into the black mist. As they did, they heard the soft clatter as something fell to the floor. They stopped, meeting the end of the mist and seeing the window. they were through it, and there was no Mabel. She was gone, and as they watched, the mist vanished.

"I... what... what is going on!?" Stan gasped, his breathing increasing in speed.

"I know not," Yuki admitted, "but we must find out!"

"But Mabel... she's gone!" he shouted.

"And Dipper," Yuki added. "The same source."

"Thanks for staying positive, Yuki," Stan snarled.

"No, don't you see?" he said, "this is a clue!" he held up the book, "the book ties two disappearances together. If we can discover the intent of the force behind this, linking these together could find us the twins!"

"But... okay, fine, so," Stan stepped next to him, "what's the next step, huh? I grab my guns?"

"Uh... Not an entirely bad idea, actually," Yuki shrugged.

Five minutes later, Stanley Pines had two shotguns over his shoulders and a semi-automatic hunting rifle in his hands. Yuki nervously spied the weapons, even as he poured over the contents of the book. Standing by the base of the stairs, the two faced one another as they swapped ideas.

"Dipper must have read the same page Mabel had," Yuki said summarizing to Stan, "this is a journal of a priest from many years ago. It speaks about a monster he defeated a high cost. It could no longer act on it's own, but once summoned, it could find a target and devour it."

"Great, so it stole my two kids away," Stan said, loading rounds into the rifle, "how do we get it to show? I'm guessing that's how we get them back."

"Agreed. However, I am uncertain," Yuki admitted," it is most likely a... this book," the alien muttered, "the priest wrote... here!" he pointed to a passage, "it was sealed away into an object he could hide away, never again to be found."

"What exactly did he seal away?" Stan demanded, finalizing his rifle being loaded.

"A thing so horrible," Yuki read a passage aloud, "that devils themselves would step aside in it's wake."

"Great. So, we're dealing with a demon," Stan grumbled, "well, beat one of those once."

"Beg your pardon?!" Yuki gasped.

"We just need to find out it's plan or weak spot, and exploit it!" Stan declared. "They act all tough and stuff, but once you show 'em how they're weak, they're in trouble. And by that I mean I can kill them."

"Must we _kill_ it?" Yuki asked. Stan turned, his gaze a tempered fury not to be mistaken. "I understand the circumstances," Yuki quickly admitted, "and you have more than right to wish harm to this being. But for all we know, it could be a misunderstanding!"

"What I know is that my grandkids are missing. That's enough for this," he patted the rifle, "and these two," he nodded to the two shotguns next to his back. "So. Let's bring him out so we can have a chat."

"I... am uncertain that is wise," Yuki quietly said, rubbing his hands together, "this entity made no noise; save for a rustle. We have not seen it take a physical form as of yet. We must consider more than just physical actions."

"If we had more time, maybe," Stan shouted, and reached out, grasping the book from Yuki, "now, show me that passage."

"Stan, please, I must protest!" Yuki yelled, pleading for him to listen.

"Yuki!" Stan shouted back.

"Very... Very well!" Yuki cried out, and pointed to the same section.

"Okay... _Coram_ _Paesense, venit creaturae, venator properant!_" Stan announced, reading out the latin passage as a command, versus Mabel's minor incantation.

As a reply, wind began to billow and swirl inside the building. The lights in the house flickered, turning on and off again. Stan raised his gun and leveled it with his arm. Yuki stepped away, his eyes scanning for a sign of the coming shadow.

He could hear it again. Something dragging across the floor, like fabric.

"There!" Yuki turned to the hallway. A shadow crept around the corner, and Stan made his action quick and deliberate. As fast as he could, he spun and fired. The shadow recoiled and the sound burst out louder.

"That was a freakin' cat!" Stan gasped, re-cocking the rifle.

"What?" Yuki gasped.

"That sound I just heard," Stan shouted as he spun around, "That was some big-cat hiss!"

"A big cat hiss?" Yuki asked.

Again, from a different direction, he heard the strange sound. He turned about, grasping Stan's robe and pulling. "There!" he shouted and pointed. As Stan whipped around, the shadow retreated.

"Dang!" Stan growled, looking around. "Heard you!"

"It... it can understand english?" Yuki muttered.

"Who cares?!" Stan grumbled. "Next time just pull me to face it if you see it!"

"I hear it before I see it," Yuki quietly said.

"Whatever!" Stan groaned, again scanning the halls around them.

From the distance of the shadows in the home, Yuki again heard noise. Yet Stan too heard the sound. They both turned and face the long distant hallway, where the black mist of shadow met them. Something hard and sharp drug across a wooden surface, making the sound of peeling, groaning wood.

Boom. Step.

Boom. Step.

Stan slowly raised his gun, as the eyes of red and yellow came out, a snarl from the darkness. "Yuki," Stan said, as a large black claw crashed down onto the wood directly before the darkness, "whatever happens, run."

"I will not leave your side," Yuki stated, trembling at the sight of the coming being.

"Too bad," Stan said, and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm thinking this thing wants me. If you get in the way-"

Another claw emerged, slicing into the wooden floors, causing Yuki to jump.

"Stan, I am here to aid you!" Yuki shouted.

The shout was a mistake. The beast yowled loudly, and the mist lunged forward, the heavy patter of claws against wood heralding the charge of the monster. Stan, without a moment hesitation, grasped Yuki and threw him into his own room, and then closed the door.

"NO!" Yuki shouted as he stumbled to the floor, "I can help! Stanley!"

Gunshots and a scream.

Silence.

Yuki trembled as he stood up, now hearing nothing. Yet his eyes did not betray him as the flickering of lights halted. Under the crack of the door, the same black mist simmered out as a vapor, and slowly dissipated.

Fear overtook Yuki. He heard nothing now. Saw nothing now.

So, with conviction and determination battling the immense fear, he strode forward and opened the door. As the wooden panel swung open, he heard the rattle of shells- emptied gunshot rounds scattered to the floor. Discarded was also the book which had fallen to the ground, along with the tarot card.

In the wood around him, deep, dark claw marks imbedded along the wood. Yuki imagined that whatever had made them was easily the size of a bear, or even that of the animal Dipper referred to as 'Multi-bear'. Yuki had not seen such marks.

What could he do? The alien was now utterly alone. His friends had vanished; taken by a force of shadow and hunting. His keeper shoved him aside, keeping him safe as he attempted to take the monster on by himself. He... he could try calling Soos and Wendy. Yes! They could help with this matter!

Then again... it could endanger them as well.

No. Yuki could solve this on his own.

Looking down to the book, he lifted to the same page, and silently read.

Scanning the many pages as fast as he could, his trained eyes darted back and forth in search for more ties to the monster. Once and again he found a name, one he had never heard of before. Eventually he even settled onto a method- one proposed to silence the creature if it was released.

It was bold, what the book suggested. A method of sealing it into a container- to be hidden separately from the book, so that no one in ear-shot could re-state the incantations, and accidentally free the monster. Yuki finally understood.

Dipper had released a monster from not the book, but from the card. The Tarot card, lifted to Yuki's face by his own grip, was that of a tiger.

While he was no expert on exorcisms, Yuki had a plan of action. It was more foolhardy than anything else, but what else could he do? In the face of danger, and with the possibility of losing his friends and now extended family, he had no choice.

With a small, shuddering sigh, he re-stated what had been said, to his guess, three times before. "_ Coram_ _Paesense, venit creaturae, venator properant._"

The silence in the building was discouraging. Yuki glanced into the page again. He was certain he had said it correctly. "Ahem. _Coram_ _Paesense, venit creaturae, venator properant!_" he said with enthusiasm. Still... nothing. "Come now! Approach!"

The sound he had been hearing before, that strange sound that reminded him of slithering cloth, once again began and grew closer. Lights began to flicker and tremble in the building. Yuki saw it coming, as he had before.

Across the hallway, the mist appeared, and the figure approached. In the shadows, the being drifted closer, eyes of yellow and red.

"Approach," Yuki demanded, "_Rakshasa_!"

Half way down the hallway, the mist departed, and a figure stood before him. Dressed in a tattered loincloth, the figure was mostly humanoid. Striped orange fur covered the body, and the legs and feet were that of a large tiger, standing on it's hind legs. The arms and chest were heavily built with muscle. Hands with claws, like the bottom paws, and the face was a snarling visage of a tiger's own head.

"You utter my name, foreigner," the beast growled, stomping closer, his height one that spanned to the to ceiling.

"I have indeed, demon," Yuki gulped, standing his ground. The demon made it mere feet before the alien, glaring down at him.

"Who are you to not fear my hunt?" the monster questioned with high authority.

"One who you have greedily taken more than deserved," Yuki replied. The cat-monster snarled and chuckled, his hissing laughter driving into Yuki's mind a dark anger.

"The prey, telling the predator what the limits are," the Rakshasa mused, "what dark days had come to this world if this has become the normal."

Yuki gulped, calming himself down. This cat reminded him a little too much of the Toldori- the feline species of warriors that closely worked with his own race. Just like the non-natives of this planet, this demon simply got on his nerves. Yuki glared up at the tall being, his jaw tightly locked. "Do not mistake my polite inclinations for passivity."

The Rakshasa roared with laughter. "You're bold. Amusing. I'll sate your appetite, foreigner," the demon said, and held his hand out.

"What?" Yuki asked.

A light shimmered in the monster's hand. "You show bravery in holding your ground without fear," the demon commended him as an image appeared, "but your fate will follow theirs."

A tiny shimmering bubble formed from nothingness. Inside the bubble, the trio taken were all inside, locked to dark, stone walls by horrible, rusted chains. Screaming silently for aid, they all peered around helplessly.

"Friends!" Yuki gasped and reached out. His hand swiped through the bubble, which popped. He glared at the monster. "You... let them out!"

"Why?" the demon grinned, showing his fangs.

"Because... you are a being of hunting," Yuki reasoned.

"So you would allow me to release my prey, just to enjoy the chase again?" the monster asked. Yuki shrugged. "No," the Rakshasa shook his head, "I am one who hungers for more than the satisfaction of my superiority. I... Will... Feast."

"Not on them," Yuki growled.

"Deny me my own hunt against you was bold," the monster stepped a slow gape closer, "and threatening me... daring. I wonder if letting you live to speak was a mistake, Foreigner."

His fists tightened. "Let my friends go, or else."

"Else, what? Little man?" the Rakshasa leaned down, his large, mane-covered head before Yuki's, the fetid breath of a monster pouring into Yuki's nostrils as he glared back. "What exactly will you do, tiny foreigner?"

Yuki snatched out his hand, grasping the whiskers of the demon. The cat yelped, flinching at the pain one hand caused as Yuki slowly pulled. The cat bent his body with the twist, unwilling to allow his whiskers to be so forcibly removed. "Or else I do THIS!" Yuki yelled, and punched out.

If the Rakshasa wanted to save his whiskers, that was the action that denied him. One side of all his whiskers were torn from him, remained in Yuki's dominant hand as his second, right hand, smashed into the nose of the demon, sending him flying into the railing of the stairs with a crash.

Landing amongst splintered wood, the demon leapt back to his feet, his nose running with dark, black liquid. His clawed hand felt his face, and the absence of whiskers along one side. Then he growled, focusing on the heavily breathing alien. "I bring my prizes home... but not you, you spiteful-" The demon was cut off as Yuki ran forward and again punched out.

The demon flew down the hallway with a rattle crash. His body bounced against the ground painfully, yet he eventually stood up again. Yuki was waiting for him, ready for another punch, which he drove into the beast's body.

Again and again and _again_ Yuki slammed his fist, foot, head, elbow into the Rakshasa. Each time the demon flew back, crushing parts of the house and building with terrible impacts, before shakily standing back up.

Screamed again and again, each of his fists driving more and more spit and blood to the floor as he wiped the ground with the demon. Yet, despite all his trouble and attempts, the monster was mostly un-phased. He would stand, breathing heavily, and glare at Yuki right before another punch would send him flying. Yet Yuki was running low on his steam. He was strong, but he had never had to punch something as much as this one demon.

After his weakest punch yet, which only threw the cat onto it's back some five feet backwards, Yuki stumbled backwards, catching his breath. The demon grumbled, clawing at the air.

"You're strong," he snarled, showing broken teeth in his mouth as he hissed, "but I am not a being who is defeated by a mere fist-fight."

"Maybe... you're... right," Yuki gasped for air, stepping backwards, his arms limp at his side. Each breath was a step backwards, leaving the demon to rise back up.

"You fool," the Rakshasa sneered, "all you've done is waste energy and time. I am a being beyond your mortal coils. Watch... as I take my time... slowly... carving you."

The demon took it's turn and lunged forward. A flash of hot white pain seared through Yuki as he was lifted up into the air, his blood splashed out. The tiger-man had clawed upwards, leaving four deep incisions across the chest and shoulders of the alien. He gasped and spun away, landing in a crumpled pile against Stan's bedroom door.

"Yes," the demon snickered as Yuki crawled up to shit, holding his chest while wincing, "you realize your mistake was never running, correct? To deny the hunter his chance to enjoy a hunt... was your true mistake."

"Perhaps it was," Yuki nodded, his head drooping.

"Now... I will enjoy your body as a feast," the demon cat stepped over, and grasped down, lifting Yuki to his face, pinning him against the walls as his claws dug into his skin, drawing blood against the deep, dark skin. "But not you first. First, you will watch as I slowly eat the others, one by one. Then, only when your despair and regret matches that of what I deserved from a true hunt... then shall I end your-"

Yuki snatched out his hand, grabbing the throat of the demon and squeezed. "Oh, shut up," he growled, and held up a Tarot card he had lifted off the floor when he sat down.

The eyes of the demon shot wide with fear for the first time.

"_Vindex Vinctos_," Yuki recited as the Tarot card shivered and sparkled with electricity, "_Daemonium Devorabitur_," the power of the Tarot card began to shimmer out with bright sparks of lightning, striking the arms and hands of the Rashaka, "_pervinco pravus_!"

The monster howled as the light shining out from the card reached out, grasping the monster with powerful chains made entirely of shimmering lightning. One by one, the tiger's limbs were collected and drawn into the face of the tarot card, as it struggled for release. The hand clutching Yuki was drawn away as it was pulled into the seemingly unrelenting power of the magic charm.

"I... WILL... HAVE... REVENGE!" the cat screamed as it's head slowly descended from view, swallowed by the light.

"Yeah right," Yuki scowled.

The light faded and the cat vanished.

As Yuki fell forward, three pairs of feet struck the ground before him, and three rears hit the ground with loud yelps and thuds.

"AAAH! Oh," Mabel gasped, looking around, "we're not cat-ptured anymore?"

"Would you stop calling being kidnapped 'cat-ptured'!?" Dipper grumbled as he stood to his feet the quickest.

"You're all safe," Yuki quietly muttered, sitting against the wall.

"Yuki!" the twins shouted in unison, rushing to his side.

"It is not as bad as it would seem," he insisted to them.

"You liar!" Mabel growled, poking his unharmed shoulder.

"Yeah, got to agree with them on this one," Stan said, standing up and looking around to the damage done to his home, "I think I missed something while I was locked up. Cus half of the stuff in here was, uh, definitely not me."

"Dang," Dipper added as he turned around, eyeing the damage, "you really had a tussle out here."

"Heh," Yuki shrugged, "I needed to persuade the demon that I mistook my strength as an advantage. So I punched it a lot and once I was weak enough, allowed it close, and... well, did as you would have done," he said to Dipper, "deceived it and trapped it back into his card," he said, and lifted the tarot card.

"So," Dipper growled, taking the card gently from Yuki, "that son of a... is in this thing!?" he demanded.

"Yes. I urge... we find a method to dispose of it. Forever," Yuki suggested.

"Sure. We can get to it tomorrow," Dipper nodded, and pocketed the card. "Yuki, will you be okay?"

"Yes," the alien nodded.

"Well, I'm going to pretend I'm Wendy and try patching you up!" Mabel declared, and marched off, heading towards the cashier counter in the gift shop. Stan walked over to the alien, and patted his shoulder.

"You know... I always wondered if I was just giving you a free ride with the night-watch job," he admitted.

"I will earn my keep, Stanley," Yuki declared.

Stan looked down to the alien, his tired eyes scanning the would-be-teenager. After a moment, he chuckled. "Yeah. 'Earning', huh?" he said, and patted the hatted head of Yuki. "That's funny. Goodnight," he said, and with that, Stanley opened his door to the room, and closed it behind him.

"Did... did he not approve of the damages I caused?" Yuki asked Dipper.

"Don't worry about it," Dipper shrugged. He yawned loudly and stretched his hands up. "Well, I think that's enough investigation and fearing for my life for one day. Yuki," Dipper extended a fist to him, "you did good."

With a weak smile, Yuki extended his own fist and bumped Dipper's. "Thank you," he muttered. Mabel rushed over, beginning to gingerly help Yuki remove the torn clothing that was still stained with blood. Groaning in the sharp pains that reminded the Alien of his fight, he aided Mabel as best he could.

One moment he was able to glance up the stairs as Dipper ascended upwards. He made eye contact with Dipper as he glanced down towards Yuki.

The Alien gulped as Dipper turned and left him.

He was sure it had been a trick of the shadows, but yellow and red were not the usual color of Dipper's eyes.

* * *

"Wait, that's where that ends?!" Mabel shouted.

"Ahh, I hate cliffhangers!" Soos pouted. "Except when it's me, actually on a cliff, you know, hanging on for dear life!"

"You need to understand," Stanford stepped over to them, a hand on their shoulders, "the masterwork of a fearful story is never giving a conclusive ending. That way things can continue. Even if Yuki defeated the demon, which he did," Stanford admitted, "letting the reader think that there could be more is how to define a possibility of coming back to the same fears that they may have felt."

"Well, it still stinks," Mabel grumbled. "I wanted to have Yuki be an undisputed winner of that fight!"

"He... totally was, though," Stanford told them, "the Rakshasa may have been indestructible, but his arrogance overburdened his cunning in the match against Yuki's strength and intelligence. Yuki would naturally win."

"Well, that's good to hear at least," Soos grinned, "at least it's an ending where most of us were happy."

"Soos, you weren't _in_ that story," Stanford reminded him.

"I was, in spirit," Soos declared.

"Speaking of spirits," Mabel spoke out, catching their attention, "I think our times are up."

"Oh! Quite!" Stanford nodded. "Well, I guess it's time to be on our way! Back to the realm beyond reality and to other times of Halloween and Summerween!"

"Well, shall we dudes?" Soos asked.

"Let's rock it like a socket!" Mabel declared. Slowly, the three bodies began to fade into shadows, retreating into the fog.

Then the write came running up.

"WAIT!" he shouted, holding up his pen and paper in protest.

"What?" the three paused as Mabel answered.

"You can't go just yet!" he shouted.

"Why not!?"

"Because... because... IT'S TOO SOON!" The author shouted, stomping his foot onto the ground.

"That's the problem with one-day holidays!" Stanford called back as the three continued their retreat. "Once a year is a blip in the time of a life!"

"But... but the story isn't done!" The writer called to the spirits as they darted out of sight. "Guys! Wait?" he called, his lifted arms falling slowly to his side, a sinking realization coming to him that he was, finally, alone again.

"Dang it!" the writer spun around, scratching his scruffy facial hair, "they never gave this one a solid ending... but I need to wrap this up somehow... oh c'mon, what's a chapter like this one missing? Something that just works..."

The writer paused, and then looked up, realizing he was still being 'watched'.

"Oh. Right. So, uh, hi guys. Yeah. Uh... so I'm not used to being a character... one observed, at least," he admitted, scratching his head, "so, uh, I'll make this brief. Hopefully... maybe not."

"That Hiatus I spoke about last update is still on. Yeah, for the next four weeks, there won't be any more updates. I need some time to settle things with the coming chapters, and that's a lot of work. After all, season three will be the length of season one and two combined."

"Ugh," he glanced down to his clipboard, and checked a list, "also, I'm considering taking this story to a new format. I, in case a few of you didn't know, am also an _actor_! Whoa, crazy, right? But I'm intending to begin translating this to audio-format one day. I may actually begin this coming month, or the months to follow. If you're interested at all, let me know! Or if you know others who also may be interested, let me know. Actors, editors, illustrators, editors, animators- anyone. Just hearing that you're interested would be awesome, honestly."

"So... uh... yeah. That's it for the full season one episodes!" he declared, clapping his hands once together. "And since this one has been a mix of dramatic and silly, I think it's fair I return to an old habit of mine. As usual, my exit. Talk to you guys later!"

EZB then pressed a button on his watch, and a giant jack-o-lantern fell from the sky and crushed him with a loud _squash_.

* * *

**Rg xlfow szev yvvm dlihv. VAY xlfow szev yvvm 'tlfiw'!**


	64. Season 3 Prologue

Many things are given unfortunate names; some more so than others. Children with names considered 'old-fashioned' are teased. Companies with silly abbreviations are ridiculed. Towns, like Boring in Oregon, are left be.

The town of Boring, Oregon was a small town with a small people who enjoyed their silly named realm. Just as their namesake, to an outsider, the town held to it's name well. Tourism was lax but more than welcome, and many shops adorned with the T-shirts and silly mugs always joked and smiled when inquired about the name of Boring. It even had a boring start- a man named boring made the town: simple as that.

So when a bike and two cars came bustling into town and quietly found a large room in the motel at the edge of town, no one battered an eye. Although the young lady at the front desk did certainly find it odd how much the man buying the room looked like a celebrity.

"You look just like that guy from the rock group," she told the handsome, blond stranger with a black scarf around his neck. He smiled and shrugged as she ducked down, pulling up a magazine she had been reading, just before hastily putting it away. "See? Right here! This Maximillion guy- Sir?"

The handsome strange had long left her presence, having taken the keys he purchased and started up the stairs to the second floor. Dressed in casual jeans and a button up, the man with usually comforting, welcome eyes peered about sharply. Approaching the room with the same numbers adorned to the keys, he scanned once more around him, scouting the terrain for something. Finding nothing to his worry, he slid the key inside, unlocked the door, and opened it.

It was, to anyone who had paid the cost up front, a total rip-off. The walls of the large two-room rental were faded and stained, and the carpet smelled of many visits. The thick, dusty air battered his nostrils, yet he remained grinning.

"Good," he murmured, and turned about. Now overlooking the thin metal railing on the second floor motel, the adult man waved over to a figure on a bike. Pink helmet still on, the figured nodded back. The door left open behind him, the figure stepped inside and began a thorough inspection. With haste and deliberation, he swooped through bedsheets and undead cabinets, on the lookout for anything out of place. Finally he entered the bathroom and vanished from the sight of the bedroom.

Entering first, his weary eyes filled with suspicion and doubt, was Dipper Pines. His nose crumpled at the door as he looked about, critical of the whole room. Behind him, removing a large pink motorcycle helmet was his sister, Mabel Pines. Under her shoulders and around her arms were series of bandages- applied a day earlier after her spill from a moving motorcycle.

"Smells loved," she sighed as she stepped in after her brother.

"I'd rather not know who's loved in here," Dipper cringed. Mabel snorted and cringed simultaneously. At her feet, a small pig oinked to her attention, drawing the brunets stares while a red-head stepped over her.

"This is really the 'safe place' he said?" Wendy muttered, pulling on curtains as she side-stepped the twins, "the only thing safe from this room are clean smells."

"Maybe it's what keeps people away from finding us," Soos said, stepping into the doorway, holding a set of keys in his hands. He glanced behind him, the reflection of his eyes fixed on a beautiful red car he had inherited a day ago. Soos added with a sigh, "Anything that keeps us safe is good in our books."

"Anything?" Dipper asked, his eyes glued on the movement in the back of the room, where Zander jostled about. "I could think of a few that won't be."

"Good in our books?" Mabel asked towards Dipper, who nodded to the taller man as he backed out of the bathroom, grinning. "Oh."

As he stepped into the room, Zander Maximillion rubbed his hands together, nodding as his eyes darted from place to place. "Good. Good. Everything seems in place. Soos, close the door, would ya?" the rock-star asked politely with his smile.

"Huh?" Soos turned about, placing a hand on the door and closing it with a quick thud.

"Thanks. Good," Zander nodded as he spun about once, slowly taking in the sights. A spare moment passed as nothing was said. The air grew tense and thin, as no one seemed to breath. Still smiling, the blond figure, now sighing in acceptance, spotted four wary stares. He paused, looking back- his smile frozen in place as he realized their intent. "I'm sensing some unspoken questions," he admitted.

"How is this exactly the safe place you told us about yesterday?!" Wendy jabbed out quickly, pointing to the man with fury. Mabel gasped and stepped aside.

"Wendy, c'mon, calm down," Mabel timidly pleaded as the red-head approached.

"You said after we patched Mabel up that you were taking us to somewhere safe," Wendy reminded him, "and we held back long enough dude! This?" she looked around, "my dad could punch through these walls with his pinky! With his _tongue_!"

"Hehehe, that's a funny image," Soos chuckled. Wendy turned and stared at him until he let out a deliberate cough. "But for real," he added to Wendy's argument suddenly, "she's got a point dawg. It's my job to keep them safe, and that was why I liked the idea of coming here. What's so safe about it?"

"Guys," Mabel pleaded, her voice a tad more shrill, "this is Zander we're talking about here. He's trust-worthy?" Mabel cringed at the incredulous stares of the other three.

"Mabel, you don't need to play the devil's advocate," Zander grinned to her happily. "I'm capable of explaining why we're here."

"Please do," Dipper grumbled.

Zander spied the young boy for a moment, and walked past them, locking the door. "One," he started, holding up a finger, "this is about as a mundane looking and feeling motel as one can get without actually being in a location I _don't_ know about."

"And mundane is good?" Mabel asked, her head tilting to the side.

"Since we wish to hide, yes." Zander nodded. "Number two," he held aloft a second finger, "there are no good places to eat nearby. People don't tend to stick around areas that have little sources of food- so if anyone came looking, this would be a last stop to look for us." He spun and closed the curtains with a quick tug and push.

Dipper scowled, looking away as he crossed his arms together. "Point taken."

"And finally," Zander grinned as he crossed past them, "there are a few tricks this hotel has."

"Huh?" the four gasped at once as he approached a pair of curtained lights above the night-stand. As he bent over and began to fiddle with a small, semi-loose screw, he spoke up again.

"You know, I'm a big believer in investing in promising youths," he said as he absentmindedly loosened the screw, small twist at a time. "People when they're growing need support, so they can become great. Well, in my experience, planting the seed can give you the chance to reap the fruit long after the expatriation date."

"What are you talking about?" Wendy sighed.

"Yeah, you're doing that mysterious teacher thing again," Mabel pointed out.

Zander chuckled. "I invested with this buildings' manager thirty years ago." The four stared at him, and he glanced back as the screw become fully loosened. "I have a local friend update this room to keep it up to date. New gadgets every five years or so." With that, he straightened the screw and pushed it back in, no twisting or turning.

The two large beds beside him jostled and then began to slowly crane themselves up as two panels of the room split apart. The four stared, mouths agape, as the beds retreated into a secret compartment as, from the floor, a duel set of highly customized computers and tables emerged. Complete with cameras, microphones, printers, scanning equipment, and devices that the four hadn't seen for themselves- merely imagined in science fiction- lay about.

"This is one of my secret stashes. Looks a little out of date, but it'll manage," Zander said, and stepped over to a rising chair, between the two panels. Nearly a dozen monitors, each a foot or so in size, flickered to life.

A cold, firm female voice called out-loud, startling the younger inhabitants. "Password."

Zander looked to a central microphone and spoke, "Haddiya."

As the blank screens of the monitors shimmered and changed into a more optimized setting, filled with files and links to various web-sites or programs, Mabel gasped.

"I've heard that name before," she said.

"Huh?" Zander flashed his eyes to her, his smile fading.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "recently."

"That was the same password to Steindorfs computers- the ones he secretly built under... under town," Mabel swallowed again, cutting her words off. A flash of pain crossed her face as she remembered certain things. Cries of loss. Begs to help. Flashes of light.

Zander stared at the four. His smile, warm and inviting as it had been usually, trembled. He nodded as he found a bitter grin to display. "Of course it would be," he sighed and looked back to the computer monitor facing him and began to type on a keyboard.

"What is all of this, dude?" Soos asked, looking about.

"Information," Zander replied off-handedly.

"On what?" Dipper demanded.

Zander scoffed. "Everything."

Mabel cooed and approached Zander, walking around the first table to her and taking her place at his side. Before the illumination of the monitors on all sides, Mabel was brightly lit up, and her excitement was boundless. "Wow! You're also a super-secret-hacker-spy?"

"No," Zander shook his head, "I have plenty of friends who are. They monitor these networks for me."

"Why?" Wendy asked, also approaching, but distancing herself at the end of the table.

"I've got a better question," Dipper loudly declared as he cleared his throat. "Are we all just going to _ignore_ the fact that Zander has been lying to us from the _moment_ we all met him!?"

The typing on the keyboard stopped. What alleviations to the friction in the air had been accomplished were lost. They all watched Dipper as he glared down at Zander Maximillion, his eyes blazing with an intensity. The smile on the rock-star's face had vanished.

"I don't follow," he said bluntly.

"Don't lie more!" Dipper snapped.

"Dipper," Mabel approached her brother, "c'mon-"

"No way," he snarled at her, "this has gone on long enough. We were patient enough with him when he said he'd take us to safety. Now we're in a secret spy hide-out, and he's still not telling us any more!"

"I'm with Dipper on this one," Wendy nodded.

Mabel turned to Wendy. "Whaaat?" she pleaded. The red-head never budged. "Soos?" Mabel whipped about to the larger man, who was scratching the back of his head, holding his hat close to his chest within his hands.

"Ehh... sorta feeling the same way here, Mabel" Soos admitted. "I mean, he's not going out of his way to endanger anyone, but I think we aught to know something, ya know?" Mabel's gaze fell as she looked back to Zander.

"You're too eager to defend me," Zander snorted, and slowly stood up from his seat. With an apologetic glance, he turned to Dipper. After a sigh, studying the constancy of Dipper's rage, Zander looked back to Mabel. "I did warn you, didn't I?" he started. "That you don't know me as well as you thought?"

"That excuses something as big as being able to help us the entire time and choosing not to?" Dipper inquired with venomous intent. Zander's gaze whipped back to the male twin.

"You're talking about me being the Guardsman," he sighed.

"_Of course I am!_" Dipper screamed. "What else could I be talking about!? All this time, all those talks with you, looking for your help with things, walking and talking and fighting alongside with you, and you had been able to do... do..." Dipper threw his hands about, waving them around wildly as frustration and an inability to creatively express the fights he had witnessed the Guardsman and Sorcerer. "All that!" Dipper roared.

Zander took a moment, watching Dipper flail. "So... yes. I'm the Guardsman," Zander admitted, adjusting the scarf around his neck.

Dipper faltered, breath escaping him. "You... so... what else?!"

"What else?" Zander repeated.

"What else haven't you told us!?" Dipper shouted.

"A lot," Zander quickly said.

"So then why should we trust you!?"

Zander took a long breath and turned to Mabel. As her eyes shimmered, he presented her a small, gentle smile. "Because you need my help."

Dipper scoffed no less than five times, turning away, and then back, to Zander each time. The answer was too simple to be true, yet too effective to let Dipper fly back with a retort.

"Why?" Wendy said. "What else could we need help with now? Gravity Falls is gone," she reminded him harshly, he throat tensing and her voice straining. "Everyone is just... gone now."

The mere mentioning of the previous day's events brought a stir to the others. Soos hiccupped and wiped his eyes. Dipper turned away and rested his head against the wall, head-butting it briefly before coming to rest. Mabel's energy lowered even more, and she fidgeted with the lining of her sweater; if there was a time for good 'ol sweatertown, it was now.

"I'm... I'm sorry," Zander looked between them all. "I really am, guys," he shook his head. "The war that Omir and I had been between for... more than you've been alive, brought this upon you. It's my fault that this happened. All of it," he quietly stated. His energy bounded back into it's place, and a strength locked itself into place within his eyes. "And I'm sorry, but there are worse things going on now."

These words rocked Dipper to his core. Mabel could feel the hateful bubbling in her twin and reacted quickly. Dipper whipped around, and made towards Zander. Only his sister could withhold him, and he still tugged viciously for freedom.

"People are gone!" Dipper snapped, his voice a harsh whisper. "People are erased from reality because you failed! Our Grunkle, their families," Dipper pointed to Wendy and Soos as he stepped past Mabel, standing before Zander, glaring up at the taller figure, "your own _apprentice_\- they're all gone, and you think that's not important!?"

"That's not what I said," Zander sighed. "Trust me. I know how important family is-"

"Right," Dipper snorted," says the guy who says he hasn't spoken to his family for years. I'm sure you know your priorities."

"Dipper!" Mabel scolded him, her mind in shock.

Despite her accusatory snap, Dipper ignored Mabel, still glaring at the man he formally considered his friend.

"If you really want our trust, you can start with the beginning," Dipper told him.

Zander eyed him. "Of?"

Dipper scoffed. "How did you escape?"

Zander smirked and stepped away, moving towards his seat. Basked in the dim glow of twelve monitors, the Guardsman and famous rock star sat before them as they collected, waiting to hear his answer.

"Once you all had left," he started, a grin flickering at the corners of his mouth, "I was able to get a bit more... creative. It didn't take little boy Graupner long to realize that I wasn't who he thought I was. Once he did, he fled, and left those plant monsters to their fate. I was going to bring him down, especially since he was... well, a wraith," he cleared his throat, "but he escaped to the surface. Magic has some benefits- including quick escapes."

"He got away?" Wendy scowled.

Zander nodded. "But after that I got to the surface just in time. I saw the town in battle, and ran inside. You," Zander pointed to the twins, "and Arline already left. Before I could get Pacifica or anyone else out... I saw the blast. I had to leave, or else there wouldn't be a chance."

"For you to survive?" Dipper guessed with bitter notes. Zander shook his head. "You don't care about yourself now? Even though your the only person who escaped?"

"Aside from you four," he reminded him, pointing to them lazily.

"We- you-" Dipper boiled with anger.

"Arline forced us to leave," Mabel quietly stated. "She could have made it out... but she said she'd stay behind to stall the explosion."

Zander nodded slowly, his eyes deep in thought. "Of course. She... dang it, Arline," Zander put a hand into his face. Dipper, despite his anger, and the three watched as the rock star had to, for the first time since they met him, had to re-collect himself. After a moment, he raised his head from his hands and looked them in their eyes. "She lost herself for you four."

"So did Mister Pines," Soos piped up. Zander nodded courteously.

"Which leads to why you need my help," Zander sighed, and turned to the closest monitor. He began to type away, leaving the four without answer.

"And that is?" Dipper demanded.

Zander turned his head back to them. "Saving the world." He tapped a key once, and rolled the chair under the table to sit closer to the screen. "C'mere," he nodded them over, and looked to the screen. "You all remember what I said to you Dipper," Zander said to him, "in the glade?"

"Oh.. oh yeah, that was you," Dipper grumbled, remembering the severe beating that he had received from the Guardsman personally.

"I explained the purpose of the stone. When it was created and enchanted, it absorbed, at the time, eighty percent of the world's maximum magic. In fourteen seventy nine, the total magic of the world was reduced to four times less than normal. It's called, by those who know of it or were alive back then, 'The Great Siphon'."

"What does this have to do with saving the world exactly?" Wendy asked, but Mabel gasped.

"If the stone was some crazy doo-hicky sponge," she reasoned, "that means that when it's gone..."

"... wait," Dipper read into his sister's mind through her eyes, "does all the magic return to the world when the stone is gone?" he asked to Zander. The older man slowly nodded.

"I wondered the same a hundred years ago, but since then, I found the evidence to prove it," he told them, and turned back to the computer.

"So magic is going to destroy the world?" Soos gulped, "aww dude, I'm getting a huge sense of déjà-vu.

"You know, same here," Mabel looked to her friend.

"Actually," Zander sighed, "magic won't be the end."

"Huh? Wendy asked, "then what is?"

"People," Zander stated.

"What?" Dipper asked.

"Guys, I know you have lived in an age where we are exposed to fantasy every day- the idea of magical creatures amaze us all- well, those of us who are not," Zander looked to Wendy, who scowled back, "but imagine the chaos when people really begin to understand that with magic anything can be done?"

"Progress?" Dipper stated.

"Revolutionize technology into a new era?" Soos asked.

"Cures for... everything?" Wendy suggested.

"Kittens for hands!" Mabel gasped, her eyes wide as they could get.

"And those who are selfish?" Zander proposed, "the hundreds who could stumble into trinkets and enchanted toys that they could use to change the face of the planet?"

"Well, that's... uh..." Mabel stumbled for words as the other three went silent. "Well, I'm sure they'd just turn them in for rewards... like money?"

"Yeah right," Wendy scoffed, pocketing her hands, "I mean, just look at Robbie. Tried hypnotizing me with that stuff, remember? And that was just to get with me- a girl."

"Not just any girl, to be fair," Dipper shrugged. Mabel would have been sure Dipper had seen the incredible look Wendy gave him. The fact he was glued on Zander with his anger would come to haunt him for years to come.

"Magic is dangerous," Zander told them, "you put in finite training and get infinite results. It means people can put in a few years to learn a spell of telepathy, and then start trying to teleport into banks, or suggestions spells and then force people to think and act how they'd want them to. Mind control, physical manipulation, magical bombs and poisons, disease-"

"Man, and I thought the stuff Gravity Falls threw at us was crazy," Soos admitted, scratching his neck.

"Barely. But it's worse," Zander furthered, pointing to the screen. Before them, as they all leaned in, was a dark and sparely decorated web-page, with only a black background with a pair of large, red and yellow eyes peering at them from the top right corner.

"World Mysteries dot com?" Mabel asked.

"Made it myself, with some help," Zander admitted, "it's a website for people to post links of material which are ignored and looked down on by society. Mostly paranormal researchers with nothing real on their hands and over-enthusiastic U.F.O. hunters post videos here. But every once in a while," he grinned, "we get someone to link something real. Then we find it, and figure out what to do with it then."

"We?" Dipper asked. "You and Arline?"

"Well... yes, and no," Zander cringed. "I was in hiding for a while, so I had a few other friends pick up the work for me. My other students, that is," he shrugged. "Anyway, we never, ever get mainstream news poster on this website- unless people are making fun of something, or something funny happened and we all want to share, you know?" he added with a grin.

"Ha, totally," Soos nodded, "on Fixin' it with Soos, I used to post pictures of funny shaped cactus with photoshopped mustaches."

"That sounds amazing," Mabel awed at him.

"Well, look here," Zander pointed to a link. With a brisk push of his fingers, he clicked it twice. Before them a new page appeared- a common video website. They all leaned in again, and this time Dipper read it aloud.

"News At Eight Fifty Four- Sea Monsters Among us?" he gasped.

"Shh," Zander calmly shushed him.

The News anchor, in mid-sentence, began addressing them,- a woman in her mid-thirties with shoulder length blond hair and dark eyes.

"-Furthering on the news of strange happenings around the world, we bring you to our field representative, live on the scene in the bay area. Let's go to our friend Baker," the screen then cut in half as a cameraman followed a skinny man wearing a rain jacket, "Baker, what's going on down there? Looks like it's raining."

"Hi Liz!" the man, baker, with short black hair tucked under his cap, turned as he walked towards what appeared to be the water's edge just underneath the golden gate bridge. "I'm here now, just passing under the golden gate bridge to an area which hikers and health-enthusiasts have recently claimed to have become inhabited by- guess what- mermaids!"

"No. Freaking. Way," Mabel gasped. She suddenly grabbed Dipper, shaking him back and forth, "do you think Mermando could be on TV!?"

"Shhh!" he hissed at her, shaking her from his grasp.

"Baker, did I hear that right? Mermaids?" the woman, still on one half the screen half-chuckled, her voice cracking.

"Yes! Crazy as it is, there have been more than a dozen consistent sightings of human-like beings with fish halves!" he said, looking to the camera, "we're on the scene to really see if this is true, or if my career has just taken it's turn to the lowest it will ever go. So," he cleared his throat and rounded a corner, following a path under the busy bridge above, "if we see- Ahh!" he gasped and leapt away.

"Baker? Is everything okay?" the news anchor, Liz asked, a worried frown about her.

The man on the scene had taken several steps back, now pointing over the shoulder of the hidden cameraman. The man rounded the corner and, to their shock, and the awe of the four watching with Zander, a whole party of Mermaids. A literal party was going on, with what appeared to be a fish cake, clams for kelp-drinks, and floating balloons made of pufferfish.

"Hey Bruno," one of the mermaids asked, her voice pleasant and at ease, "pour me some of your ink-tea?"

"Sure thing," the closest to the camera, a mermaid facing away from them, nodded and began to pour from a pitcher fashioned from a conch. "I think it goes really well with a bit of crab you know," he told her.

"Are you getting this?" Baker asked the camera, obscuring the footage for a moment. No sooner had he said this than the seven mermen and mermaids stopped and turned to him from their jolly activities and stared. "Uh oh. You think they notice us?" Baker asked.

The closest to him slowly raised it's clamshell cup. "Want some sea-foam? It's been salted with, well," it looked to it's clam, "sea-salt."

Baker and the cameraman instantly screamed and fled, turning and running for their lives. The video feed stopped and Zander leaned back.

"Well, aside from them over-reacting to the mermaids," Dipper shrugged, "that wasn't so much of a big deal. Now people will start believing my stories, that's all," Dipper crossed his arms tightly.

"Yeah, while Dipper's being all up-tighty-whitey about it," Mabel gently smacked the back of his head, nudging off his beanie, "that wasn't so bad."

"Not entirely," Zander sighed. "First of all, the fact that mainstream media is picking this up mean's everyone is noticing this. _Everyone_. For now, people are going to assume this is a massive, world-wide prank."

"Like the one time that seven bigfoot were sighted in major cities enjoying coffees?" Soos asked.

Zander turned to him. "No. That was real. It was more freaky that seven sasquatches decided to have coffee at the same time. The chances are so slim that- also, they don't like the term 'bigfoot'," Zander added.

"Really?" Wendy asked, "I thought it'd be a compliment."

"Off topic," Dipper reminded them. "Why is this really so bad? People knowing about this isn't so bad."

"Hypothetically, you'd be right," Zander allowed him. "What makes this bad is that when the stone is destroyed, the magic returns... slowly. Not all at once, but in waves."

Dipper's eyes widened. "You mean... this is just a teaser?" To that, Zander nodded. The young teen gasped. He finally could see what made this a big deal- magic was a rare thing until yesterday. If it was common enough now where mermaids felt at ease enough to climb up to shores and have small picnics in rocky beaches, Dipper was certain it had grown substantially. But if this was just the beginning...

"How much more are we expecting? Of magic growth or whatever?" Wendy inquired.

"Well," Zander gulped as he looked back to the screen. He leaned forward, and spoke into the microphone, "chart: magic resurgence rate."

"Retrieving file," the voice stated.

"Wow, thanks computer lady!" Mabel chimed happily.

Before them the web browser vanished, and a numeric chart was presented. One axis was labeled 'five days' and the other was labeled 'Arcana resurgences by percentile'. Zander leaned forward.

"This is a graph that shows the return rate of magic to our world. You see, with the stone gone, the magic maximum, which had been lowered to twenty percent it's normal maximum, was restored to it's total. That means this world can have five times the normal magic abundance that you have ever seen. But that is it's maximum, not it's current."

"So the world is slowly... replenishing it?" Soos asked, "like auto-fill or something wacky?"

"Yeap," Zander nodded. He prodded the screen. A line emerged from the zero, at the cross between both axis, and moved right, and stopped at the first line. "This is five days of re-growth. We'll see barely one percent increase in magic, or Arcana, in this time." He tapped the screen again, and the line furthered, but higher up than previously, "then we hit ten days from now. About three percent will have returned." He tapped again. The line was higher on the next increase. "Then seven percent at fifteen days." He tapped again. "At twenty days, fifteen percent." Another tap. "Twenty five days, forty one percent." A loud prod and the final line hit it's mark. "At thirty days, seventy three percent."

"Dang," Dipper sighed.

"Is that really bad?" Wendy asked.

"Considering one day allows the more civilized things to come back into the world without a fuss, this is... this is going to be bad. Imagine the monsters that'll start returning when ten percent comes- or fifty!"

Zander looked to them all, ignoring the red line of the graph behind him. "You need my help, because mermaids will be the least of your concerns in a month. Dragons could start to return, breathing fire onto farms and suburbia. Undead will begin to rise again and haunt the living everywhere. Demigods and divine entities could return. Sea monsters, large enough to swallow fishing ships, moving, animated mountains, time travel-"

"That one already exists," Mabel pointed out. Zander stalled, and stared at her, his thought de-railed. "Dipper and I went to the future and past a few times."

Zander blinked, and shook his head. "...This will only get worse. And at a certain point," Zander shifted in his seat, "it will be irreversible."

"Crud," Wendy grunted, "then what do we do?"

Dipper snorted and nodded. "Reverse it, right?" he asked the rock star before him. Zander Maximillion finally had his smile, that trade-mark smile, return to him as he nodded. "Okay... fine. How?" Dipper asked.

Without looking behind him, Zander spoke "Access file: backup plan."

The computer replied, "Accessing file..." then a moment later, an image of a soft, glowing stone that's color resembled the stars of space itself was displayed.

Zander said, "We get the stone back."

Dipper nodded. "How?"

"I have a plan," Zander admitted. When they waited for more, he grinned. "Are you with me?"

Silence fell before the darkened room. The already stunned four watched the rock star study them back, his green eyes pouring over their forms. He awaited patiently, letting them come to their own decisions.

"Not much else I can do or go to now, is there?" Wendy shrugged. "I'm in."

"If it means getting home back," Soos said, "me too. Fixin' it is about to go to a whole new level, dawg."

"Me too," Mabel grinned, "I mean, saving the day was already our thing, so saving the world shouldn't be that much of a step up," she said. Zander chuckled, and she felt her cheeks redden.

Zander turned to Dipper, still waiting. The boy's cross nature had lessened in the face of possible world-wide danger. A small smile crossed his lips, and Dipper looked up from the floor to Zander. "You really think it can happen? We can do this?"

"Let me ask you," Zander countered, "do you think we really have much of a choice?"

Dipper snorted. "No. If it means we stop people like Bill Cipher, then yes. I'm doing it," Dipper announced.

"Good," Zander stood. He spun about, and pulled back the screw. The two computers began their de-activation and descent, along with Zander's chair, into the floor. Beds slowly lowered into the room, and the room's natural light faded back. "Then rest up as fast as you can, because we start gathering starkissed fragments in four hours."

"Four hours?" The twins mimed each other.

"I can't rest anyway," Wendy shrugged.

"Why the rush?" Mabel asked, "I mean, it's not like we're competing with anyone." Zander, halfway from twisting the screw back into place paused, gave them all a significant look, and turned back to his task, turning his wrist. "Uhhh," Mabel gulped, "that wasn't ominous at all."

"What else is there?" Dipper asked Zander.

"When the word gets out that someone's gathering up fragments of Starkissed, some very bad people are going to want what we have. It is, after all, a super-rare material that is, by nature, magic. But... I have the sneaking feeling that there's someone in specific who's going to be after the stones, and more specifically," he looked to the twins, "you two."

"What?" Mabel asked, glancing around. "Who would want us for something sinister and bad and horrible and stuff?" Mabel asked. "But seriously, who are you talking about."

"Who else," Dipper answered for him. A scar running across his arm twinged and the recollection of his skin burning for hours called back into his mind.

"Yes," Zander nodded, "the only person who got away... the one person who knows you four are trouble... and the person heading, right now, towards the Steindorf and Co headquarters..."

Dipper growled. "Graupner Kniley."

* * *

The average day in Los Angeles was borderline hellish. The heat was unbearable, the people miserable, the traffic soul-crushing. It wasn't all that surprising then that those who could tolerate the settings were those gaining most from it. Those rich and successful enjoyed their places in the city- a place of promise and profit.

Standing amidst the large sprawl of the downtown area, a large building belonging to a multi-billion dollar corporation rose to the sky. Not the tallest, nor the most impressive, the Steindorf &amp; Co. building heralded a magnificent display. Modern in design and cleverly laid out, the picturesque front was a marvel and a sight all on it's own. People passing by would eye it, with marvelous red and gold columns reaching up and holding fast the building. Yet, marching up to the large, twenty story building in the middle of downtown LA, was not one of these people.

A young man, wearing a black eyepatch over his left eye moved at a brisk pace. There was a sinister smile about him as he eyed the large glass wall before him. He passed by various sight-seers, his dirty clothes a stain on the high sense of fashion around him. Even with several disgusted glances shot towards him, he did little to deter them. His mind, it seemed, was set on his goal.

Through the automated doors, he stepped inside the cooled interior. Never breaking a sweat, he walked up to the front desk, where one of many attendants, a young lady, awaited him. Brushing her short black hair aside, she saw him immediately and became visibly worried.

"Good morning, sir," she quietly said as the thin man in his black, robe-like jacket approached. "Should I send word for Mister Steindorf that you've arrived?"

"He's n-not here," Graupner Kinley answered for her, rolling his eyes. "I'm here to t-talk to the reps."

"Sir, I-" she started.

"That's Mister Kinley," he cut into her words icily.

With a nervous clearing of her throat, she nodded. "Okay. Mister Kinley, the presidents of the company, and Mister Steindorf have made it clear that you are only authorized to make claims when only he-"

"Yeah, yeah," Graupner said again, leaning in closer, "l-look, I'm in a-a hurry, okay? I'm g-going up. You t-tell them I'm coming, or they can be surprised. Up to you." Without another word, he leaned away, spun, and marched over to a series of elevators.

"W-wait!" the woman stood from her chair, desperate to stop him. "You can't interrupt them now! They're in a meeting."

Graupner chuckled. "Things are changing." He then snapped his fingers. Two nearby guards stepped closer, blocking the secretary from coming closer. The woman, in her tall heels skidded to a halt and fell, landing her face right at the large combat boots of the two black, clad men before her.

"What?" she breathily said.

"Don't b-both yourself with the b-b-big fi-fi-fi- ugh," Graupner growled, slamming a finger into the controller panel inside the elevator, "even g-gone his c-curse is still here. S-So annoying," he grumbled, and the elevators closed before him.

Riding up the metal and mirror casket was a welcome rest. Graupner stumbled against one of the walls, and lifted a hand to the eye patch. With a quick tear, he lifted it up, revealing the blackened eye socket, and it's single, bead-sized component. With one of the mirrors at his back, he spun around, and looked into his face.

"No f-food," he muttered, "no d-drink. No sleep," he panted, "just power. Raw p-power," he swallowed, closing his one remaining eye with a heavy sigh. "It'll b-be worth it in the end. Yeah. I'll p-prove them all wrong." As he opened his remaining natural eye, the red stone flashed and he growled. Pushing himself upright, he grinned, adjusting his hair and flattening the many wrinkles in his clothing. "It's only a matter of t-time b-before this ship f-falls apart anyway. Might as well salvage before s-swimming for shore." The final beeps of the elevator rising heralded the coming floor, and Graupner pulled down his eyepatch.

On the nineteenth floor his elevator doors opened, and he stepped out. Before him was a large reception area. Normally, a single proud desk would stand before him, a cool and highly trained secretary personally hired by Omir Steindorf at the ready. Now a cluster of twelve armed soldiers, all in black attire and combat material awaited him, fully automatic weapons at the ready. The secretary had her back to the wall, her hands in the air as she watched Graupner step out and smile.

"Claire," he grinned, "I see you met m-my friends."

"You can't do this," she reasoned with him.

"Why not?" he retorted.

"When your boss figures out-"

"Omir is g-gone," Graupner snarled, gnashing his teeth as he easily side-stepped one of the waiting mercenaries. "He's not in ch-charge any more. And as I hear," Graupner stayed silent for a moment, listening to the panic in the halls behind a double door of thick clouded glass, "p-p-people are beginning to wonder about that."

"Gone where?" the woman, Claire, asked, "he said he was going to a business convention nearly a month ago."

"A convention in a t-town that never existed?" Graupner asked with a knowing leer. Claire's eyes shot wide as she stared. "That's right. I know what's g-going on. And I'm telling you," Graupner pulled open the double doors before him, and strode through, "I'm now the one in ch-charge. T-Times are changing."

The double doors slammed shut behind him, only to then be shoved open once more. The twelve soldiers, their faces all hidden with gas masks and full-body armor, followed in his wake. Never addressing them, Graupner indicated to hallways as he passed. "Round everyone up. I don't c-c-care if you kill anyone, just d-destroy as little as possible."

Graupner pushed onward as two by two, the men behind him split into hallways leading away, their guns at the ready. Many clouded walls revealed people frantically working, making desperate calls and hastily demanding answers. The soldiers quickly would find them, and pull them away, shoving them to the elevators at gun point. Only Graupner moved without restrict. Ahead of him, and his cool pace, was the door leading into the presidents lounge. Stopping feet from the door, he could hear the frustration emanating outwards. Graupner grinned; imagining the stiff old coots desperate to find out where their CEO had been for a month amused him. The idea of what he was about to do to them next almost made him burst out laughing.

So he wrenched open the door and stepped inside with a wide grin.

The room was a large and rectangular space, modern and sleek. Only four plants, one at each corner stood, and a large oval table was rooted in the center. Five older man, all nearing the age of Omir or slightly younger stood and leaned to one another. A clerk, with a thin but toned body, at the end closest to Graupner gasped and stood up. As he did, the other five paused and turned.

"G-Gentlemen," The Warlock politely nodded, stepping further into the room.

"You," the tallest and oldest of the five, his back to a large window, "in case your thick head didn't realize, we're busy at the moment. We don't have the time to hear out anything you'd like, nor are we interested in your stuttering, or your foolish attempts at appearing like a pirate. Get out now."

"Too b-bad, you old fart," Graupner sneered, taking his time to walk around the table, approaching the five, "I'm here to let you all in on what happened t-to your boss."

"Omir?" one of the men, with thinning, wispy blond hair asked. Graupner sneered.

"You know?" another, of darker complexion and thin, wary eyes asked.

Graupner nodded. "I would, seeing how's he my master," Graupner reminded them. "He's g-gone from reality itself." The blunt announcement took them all by shock. Only the oldest, the taller man with white hair who had spoken first to Graupner was able to collect himself from the strange announcement.

"If this is more of that ludicrous magic nonsense that's been gossiped about-"

"It's what caused the magic," Graupner interrupted.

"Do _not_ interrupt me while I talk!" the old man howled. Graupner's smile remained pleasant, but his eyes went cold and dangerous as he honed in on his target. The president of the company adjusted his tie and took several breaths. "I frankly don't care for this stupid talk of magic and monsters and freaks, which I consider _you_ among!" the old man pointed at Gruapner, who's smile faltered, as ice ran through his veins and fire in his head. The old man continued, "Now I don't know what you thought you'd accomplish by coming up here and announcing all of this ridiculousness, but I will not stand for it." The president grasped at a small phone and began to press buttons.

"Then I'll c-cut to the chase," Graupner grumbled, his mood ruined. "I'm here to c-claim myself the new head of all th-things Steindorf and Co. related." The five laughed. "And my first order of b-business is to totally liquidize the company assets."

"What makes you think you have any authority to make that claim?" another of the vice-presidents quieted from his chuckling, adjusting his seat and wiping his pale bald head with a handkerchief.

"G-Glad you asked," Graupner pulled out from his pocket a rolled up piece of paper, and tossed it at the closest one. The man with darker skin took it and scanned it quickly, his eyes narrowing before widening. "I am the true successor of the c-company, once my master has stepped d-down."

"This... I've never seen this paper before," the closest vice-president stated as he held the paper out.

"Was just between me and my master," Graupner shrugged.

"Unless authorized, by us," the president began.

"Yeah, I know," Graupner snapped. "Which is why I'm here. I'm here t-to get your official recognition for my new st-standing as total head of the company, and then to have all assets added t-to my name."

Another round of laughter came from the five. Graupner glanced over his shoulder to the clerk, who's eyes had remained glued on the doors, where the dim chatter of men and women being escorted to the elevators forcibly were drowned out by the conversation between the Warlock and the old men.

"And why would we do anything like that? Humor me," the president asked.

Graupner approached, looking up to the six foot four inches of old man with a smile. "Because I'm g-going to have you killed if you d-don't."

The room went deadly silent as Gruapner took his last step before the president. The eyes of one another met and locked- man in power and man with power. The mouth of the president twitched as he snorted.

"I was wondering how long it was until you snapped," the elder man said quietly. "You've always been a mad fool. Now you think Omir just vanished from the face of the earth and that by threatening me you get to step into his seat. I'm glad I called for security a minute ago," he admitted, grinning.

Graupner gasped, mocking shock. "Oh! Oh no!" he put a hand to his forehead. "I g-guess that means... I'll have t-t-to wait for them." Not ready to disappoint, six of the mercenary like figures stormed into the room, and approached the elderly men.

"Good," the president sighed, "remove this man from my-" two of the security guards approached and grasped his arms, pinning them aside as they lifted him into the air. "What!? Put me d-down this insant!"

Graupner approached, walking by the other four guards as they each place the business ends of their weapons towards the now cowering vice-presidents. "What's wrong? D-Did you st-stutter?" he smirked, placing a hand to the presidents lifted chest.

"Men, I _order_ you to-"

"THEY W-WONT OBEY TO YOU ANYMORE!" Graupner roared, his smile replaced with a bloodlusted grimace. The president trembled, his lips twisting silently as he fought for words. The Warlock poked the chest twice, making sure to prod the elderly man's bone as hard as he could. "These soldiers listen t-to whoever is in charge with the c-company. And that, starting a d-day ago, was me," Graupner grinned. "So, first rule of b-business," he changed his tone, walking around the still held aloft president, looking at the windows, "is the liquidation of all assets of the c-company into the various accounts and th-then the withdrawing of all funds."

"You're mad," the president muttered.

Graupner placed his hand on the window, seeing the far drop below him. "Maybe a little. My m-master would have said I'm 'd-drunk with power'," Graupner admitted. He turned then, finally serious in the face as his smile was replaced with a stern glare. "But he's g-gone. So, you have your ch-choice," Graupner informed the six in the room aside from the guards, "work with me to make this p-process a tad faster, or you can be d-dropped from the c-c-company."

"Boy," the president said, still facing towards the interior of the huge corporate building, held in the air, "I have worked in this great company longer than you have been alive. If you truly intend to run it into the ground like you say, you will do it without me."

Graupner sighed, nodding. "G-Good to hear," he said, and nodded to the window. The two guardsman took steps towards the younger spell-user, holding the old man with him. "B-Because I was hoping to have an example. Th-thanks for v-volunteering."

Graupner snapped his fingers, and the two guards, each with a loud roar, tossed the president at the window.

The president hit the thick glass with a loud thud and fell with a gasp, holding his head.

"Oh," Graupner grumbled, "hum. Th-thought that'd b-break." He shrugged and snapped his fingers again. The two guards looked down to the cowering old man and lifted him back up. "Well, take two. Toss him out."

"N-no, wait!" the president begged.

The president was thrown through the air, and hit the glass with another equally sturdy thud.

"Oh c-c'mon!" Graupner yelled in frustration as the president fell to the ground, crying as he held the back of his head.

"That glass is bullet proof," the dark skinned vice-president informed him, "it wouldn't break from that!"

"B-But that always happens in movies," Graupner wined, "I was looking so forward t-to seeing his st-stupid face as he fell!" With a loud stamp of his foot, he snapped his fingers again.

"No! NO!" The president cried and meagerly fought back against the grip of the two large men as he was lifted again. "I have such a headache! STOP-"

WHAM.

The president again fell to the floor, only leaving smudges on the pristine window behind him.

"Who was the idiot who installed b-bullet p-proof glass on the nineteenth floor of an office b-building!?" Graupner demanded. The four vice-presidents slowly pointed to the crouching, whimpering president. "This is so stupid!" Graupner yelled.

"So much for your fancy magic," the president managed with a grin, craning his head as he held his own hands on his neck.

"YOU- **I**... wait," Graupner stared at the elderly man. "Oops. Thanks, almost forgot about th-that," he chuckled.

Graupner turned, placed his palm against the window, and shouted. The glass, all at once, cracked and shattered. Wind whipped into the room as the window granting those inside cover was obliterated. The four still in their seats yelled, holding their hands over their heads as the splices of glass splashed around them, entirely unaffecting Graupner, who smile was reflected in dozens of larger fragments.

"Sh-Shatter magic," Graupner sighed, clapping his hands clear of dust. "So b-b-basic I forgot I had it. Now," he nodded to the guards. They, once again, lifted the now stunned elderly man, and lifted him into the air. "Let's leave on a," he said as the president was suspended over the ledge, "high n-note?" Graupner grinned.

"Wait!"

Graupner whipped around. At the far end of the room, the clerk had just stood, his hands extended.

"You can't just intend on killing him!" the man shouted at Graupner. The Warlock merely shrugged. "Why? Because he merely 'annoys' you?"

"Wouldn't b-be the first time," Graupner snorted.

The clerk started to make it around to the table, approaching the Warlock tentatively. "I think it would be worse for him to live than die, myself." Graupner's eyelid twitched, yet he said nothing. "Think about it," the clerk assured him, pleading for a life, "if he cares enough to die for his company, wouldn't it, uh, be worse to force him to watch as everything he worked for you take away?"

The violently visible annoyance in Graupner's eyes wiped away as he considered the thought. As if seeing the clerk for the fist time, he nodded to the brunet man. "What's your name?"

"Alvis Leuthar," the clerk gave a small nod. "We've met once or twice, Mister Kinley."

The Warlock's eyes widened. "M-Mister?" Graupner grinned, and adjusted himself, standing straighter than before. "You're n-not wrong, Alvis," Graupner admitted, "but I need to p-put a message out."

"Which is?" Alivs hastily asked.

"Th-That I'm in charge!" Graupner growled.

"That is clear," Alvis nearly bowed as he spoke, and then took several more brave steps forward. "But if you're worried that you will be unable to liquidize the company without these, uh, gentlemen-"

"Old c-collections of d-dust," Graupner corrected him.

"-Right!" Alvis smiled and nodded, "well, you should know that I respond to all of them as the personal in-between. As far as I'm concerned, I already do their jobs for them, I just need their permissions to do it. Maybe, instead of using them, you could, uh, use me?" Alvis suggested.

"Be quiet, you-" one of the vice presidents demanded.

"YOU SHUT UP!" Graupner barked at him, and the elderly figure fell silent. Turning back to the shaken clerk, the Warlock eyed him. "You th-think you can do what I want?"

"I know I can," Alvis proclaimed.

"You'll be jailed for this, you traitor!" the president, still held aloft barked at him. "Backstabbing us, the company!"

The Warlock smiled after hearing this. "Th-Then I love it."

"On one condition," Alvis lifted a finger, "I want in on whatever you're doing."

Graupner pondered the condition. His eyes focused in on the man before him. In the few moments he had even spoken to this clerk, Alvis Leuthar, he had already come to find a fondness for him. He was direct, talented at what Graupner needed him for, and spoke to him as a superior- which was almost more important than the previous two brownie points before it.

"What d-do you think I'm t-trying to do, exactly?" Graupner asked.

"Build something powerful," Alvis said, the ghost of a smirk in the corners of his mouth and his eyes widening with excitement.

"You know," Graupner stepped closer, and the clerk bowed his head, "I don't t-t-tend to like people. I really d-don't." He was now a foot away from the bent over man named Alvis. "But I like you so far," the Warlock admitted, a half-shrug in his shoulders as he spoke. Alvis dared not look up. "So... consider it a deal... apprentice."

Alvis turned his head, looking up to the Warlock, who leered down at him. "Thank you," Alvis bowed again, recognizing the gift given to him.

Now, my first b-bit of advice from you. What should we d-do with these men?" Graupner waved his hand behind him, motioning the two guards to toss the old man forward, against the ground again.

"Well," Alvis eyed his former bosses, "if you're looking to get money, the best bet is to ransom them to their families. Half their fortune or they are never seen again," Alvis suggested.

"Hm. Cool," Graupner nodded, and pressed past Alvis, waving for him to follow, "you are now my second in c-command. These soldiers will listen t-to you," Graupner explained to Avlis, following in his footsteps, "so I'm expecting you to wrap this all up for me."

"Absolutely," the former clerk nodded.

"G-Good," Graupner grinned as he and his new apprentice, who was half a foot taller than him, "I'm g-glad there are p-p-people who are reliable in this world." Alvin restrained a smirk as they walked past the other office-workers, all being rounded up by the armed soldiers.

"You know, I'm impressed with your speed," Alvis stated as they made it to the elevator. As the door opened, Alvis stepped in with Graupner, and pressed the button for him. "If what you said was true, you only had a day or so to accomplish this much control over Mister Steindorfs personal soldiers."

"Something like th-that," Graupner grinned, feeling deep satisfaction in the spoken compliments.

"How though? Alvis asked.

Graupner grinned at himself in the mirror, and lifted the eyepatch. Alvis gasped, staring into the small red stone. "Magic is power, and p-power is everything," Graupner told him. As the ground floor elevator doors opened and the two stepped out, Graupner placed back down the eyepatch, shadowed by Alvis. "As soon as p-possible, I want all resources responding to your or me d-directly. Show of force or whatever. We need to be able to act wherever we want t-to when we want to."

"I'll get some private security forces on that. With hired guns on our side, we should be able to move as we need," Alvis stated as they moved through the panicking main lobby, soldiers and security officers forcing more men and women to vacate the premises.

"Good. I need you t-to also have a small g-group meet me in Oregon," The Warlock stated.

"Ah, okay," Alvis nodded, but frowned as they passed outside, where a crowd of pedestrians stared up at the building, pointing to a broken window on the nineteenth floor. "Any reason why Oregon specifically? It's not one of our more popular states."

"B-Because," Graupner said, his eyes distant in thought, "there are a few t-ties I have to d-deal with still." He paused, and looked to Alvis. "We have strong enemies now. Th-This world is changing into something g-g-great, and we can be on the _top_."

"_You_ can," Alvis corrected him. Graupner laughed.

"Perfect," he nodded, but straightened his smile, "but I know a few p-problems that will try to spoil everything. Our chance at real c-control, at this new world that's growing strong, and... more," The Warlock growled. "I want a t-task force to respond to me in a day. Have th-them meet me in Portland."

"Got it," Alvis said, and turned away, pulling out a cell phone hastily from his pocket.

The Warlock looked away, content with the regard to his newest ally and second-hand man, Leuthar. As he looked into the sky with a newly awakened sense of power, he grinned. Those kids had gotten themselves past semi-trained guards of the company, but not trained killers like mercenaries.

"You can't b-beat me now, P-P- ugh, P-P-" he grumbled, and rubbed his mouth, "I need to b-break this st-stupid c-curse already! GAH! PINES!" he roared furiously into the sky, drawing the attention of the crowds around him.

* * *

**H****IATUS STATUS: OFF**

We're back, ladies and gentlemen! Back for the last season: the largest, most die, most crazy, and final chapters of the Return to Gravity Falls!

First off, how was November for everyone? I feel like it ran by and now I'm here, wondering what the heck I did with those four weeks. Time, am I right? Never seems to slow down for anyone to get stuff done. Puh.

But onto business- the schedule you've all come to expect is back! Saturday evening or VERY early Sunday will be the time for updates, without exception. So stay tuned, more is coming.

Now for something I've been dreading/super-excited for since I mentioned it last update- The coming of the Audiobook. I'm going to producing and directing a translation of this series into an audio format for youtube, and I'm inviting everyone and anyone to participate! I need EVERYTHING- editors, arists/illistrators, actors- all of everything. So, if you're interested in helping out, I've got two things for you.

I have a email for this series now. Simply 'thereturntogravityfalls' at gmail blah blah blah. If you're interested in helping me out, send me an email and I'll get back to you. Next update, I'll be including a specific set of instructions to the actors who may like to play certain roles. Editors (both writing and video/audio) are welcome to send me work to sample, and same goes for artists. I need anyone who'd be interested to help out, so long as that part hasn't been taken. Now, next update I'll be a tad more specific as to what I'm looking for, so in the meantime, if you're really interested in helping out, feel free to PM me or review with what you'd like to help out with. I'll contact you with what I'd like to see in the form of an 'audition', regardless what you'd like to contribute, so you can be ready when I officially open up the gates for your content.

So, I've rambled on enough. I think it's 'high' time I took my exit. (shards of glass rain onto EZB, imbedding their sharp points all over his body.) Ha! I've built up an immunity to pain from dying all these times! It'll take more than that to-

(A hairy foot the size of a large truck squashes EZB with a loud 'pfft'.)

* * *

**Ftq tgzf tme nqsgz. Oxuyn fa kagd rqqf. Iuft qmot ndqmft, bget fa ftq oayuzs pmk.**


	65. Daybreak: Part 1

Morning in southern Washington state was a cool, wet thing. Mist and fog regularly blanketed the land, making forests spooky and meadows eerie. Those used to the cooler temperatures were aware of the brief life-span of this fog. Once the summer sun grew high enough, the heat would was away the grey dew that permeated the air. However, it was this mist that covered the ground in the day of august the first.

To the early morning of a small town, a cluster of teenagers walked quietly up the side of a slope- heading into the forested mountains. Clad in jackets and boots, the six kids, all of approximately the same age, trudged along the forest, using the upright trunks of thick trees to push them forward. Fit for highschool, they moved together on the first Saturday of the month

Among them were three girls and three boys. Two pairs were clearly in a relationship, moving together, hand in hand. The last two, and by looks alone, the youngest, nervously watched around them, eager to look anywhere but at each other.

"How far is it from here?" the youngest boy asked, his strait brown hair held under by a small cap.

The group stalled, looking back to him and the blond next to him. The leader of the group, a tall boy with wide shoulders an sun-touched golden hair grinned.

"We're getting closer. It's totally worth the hike," he noted to the two below, his eyes twinkling. He turned about and the group continued.

"You said it'd be only a few minutes," the young boy asked as his bright blue eyes tried desperately to part the thick mist around him. The girl next to him readied her steps behind him fearfully.

"Reggie," an older girl with similarly long brown hair said, looking behind herself. Her voice, while wining, did not match her kind face, "c'mon! You said you wanted to check this out. So did Christina," she nodded to the girl behind the youngest male, "so c'mon. Stop complaining now that you're here."

"Well, well I'm not complaining," the boy, Reggie, defended himself, "I'm just, uh, worried about the fact that we're away from town, and heading to a place no one has lived in a long time! Sounds kind of, uh-"

"Dangerous?" the girl, Christina, clarified.

Struggle and uncertainty boggled inside the mind of the boy. As the girl came next to him, intent on keeping up with the group, he paused, watching her go. "Well," he cleared his throat, "I mean, dangerous, maybe, but clearly," he eyed her up and down, "not enough to stop me! Hah! Yeah."

"Shh!" the lead boy some twenty feet ahead called out, just behind a cluster of thick vegetation. The group froze, and then he waved them all closer. One by one they made it to the large bush, and leaned next to him. The last person there, nervously stepping up to the bush, was Reggie. "It's right around the bush," the leader nodded, excitement limitlessly bounding in his eyes.

"How long has it been here for?" the other boy, about the same age as the leader asked, taller and skinnier than either other boy. His red hair was coated in mist and dew, and he rubbed a hand through it, trying to rub away the water.

"Years," the leader explained, "someone once said that it belonged to a family who lived here- and then a curse fell onto them, having them all die: one at a time. Painfully, horribly," he said with a grin to each of them. The three near his age chuckled, and the girl he walked with nudged his arm, wiping her short blond hair out of her face.

"Cut it out," she poked his shoulder, "you'll scare Reggie."

"I'm not scared," Reggie stated, his face pale.

"My brother, ladies and gentlemen," the girl with brown hair blew a tuft of hair out of her face.

"So," the leader leaned in closer to them, "let's go check it out. Could be _bodies_ in there or something cool."

"B-Bodies?" Reggie choked on the word.

The leader slowly pushed aside a large branch of the bush and revealed a hill distantly ahead. Nearly two hundred feet away and on a nice perch against a small cliff, the building was, to their shock... maintained.

"Wait, what?" the leader gasped, stepping out of the bush.

"That's supposed to abandoned?" the blond asked, her eyebrows bent in disbelief. "Al, really? I think I can even see lights."

"No, no!" the leader, Al, stood in plain view, "I'm telling you! I saw this place a week ago, and it looked crazy!" he turned, eyeing the home in the distance.

The rest of the six came out and stood with Al as he pulled at his hair angrily. The house to the eyes was... fine. It had a white picket fence that stretched the perimeter, nice, recently painted walls of brown and white, and a polished and wax red-wood finish for a building probably older than any of the kids present. The windows, large and luxurious, were all closed, but lights flickered out from underneath the curtains.

"Are you sure we didn't end up in the nice neighborhood?" the other boy asked, putting his hands in his pockets, pouting.

"That's not so bad," Reggie argued, rubbing his hands together as the mist grew thicker.

"This can't be right dude," Al turned to the others, a desperate plea in his eyes, "I remember this place! That's totally the house I saw," he declared, pointing behind him proudly," just it was rotten and stuff!"

"Maybe we should knock and ask what's going on?" the youngest girl, Christina, asked.

The five others turned and eyed her. After a moment, Reggie gulped and nodded. "I'll do it. I'll knock on the door."

"And let you see what kind of crazy people moved into that house?" the other boy chuckled, "forget it. I'm going too."

"I saw we all go," the blond suggested. "In horror movies, people get killed when you are split up."

"Hah!" Al laughed. "That's why I'm dating you. So smart."

"Okay, so we all go," the red-headed boy agreed. He took a step forward, still hand in hand with the girl with dark brown hair, only to realize the mist had gathered. "Uh... can you guys see the house?"

The group paused, staring ahead. The mist had seemed to, as they all spoke, closed in around them. Now so thick that ten feet ahead was a blur, they looked about, trying to pin point the location of the house.

Then there was a footfall. And another. Another. They all looked about, trying to find the source, much like the vanished home. Yet the sounds echoed around them.

"Who's running?" Al asked, turning to the group. His eyes quickly fell onto shorter Reggie, who had come closer with Christina, looking out into the mist. "You're both still... then who-"

As the group began to hone their senses, a voice spoke out.

"Grouped or not," a deep voice with dark intent spoke to them, "it won't save you." The six all spun to a clearing of trees, where the footfalls suddenly became clear. A shadowed figure with long clothing walked closer to them. As they stared ahead, their mouths dropped out.

The figure, grinning with fangs too large to be a human, snarled. "Start running, my prey!"

The group all simultaneously nodded. Concepts of courage and valor were tossed out the window as all six spun around and made to run.

Furry, seven feet tall, and with a snarly maw of sharp teeth; a figure blocked their escape.

With the greatest wisdom of the group, Reggie shouted as he dived down the hill and begun tumbling, "NOPE!"

Echoing through the forests, a loud inhuman and unnatural howl broke the mists and caused birds to fly.

* * *

Three engines all turned off simultaneously. At a gas station just past the south border of Washington state, four figures stepped out together, one climbing off a motorcycle while three stepped out of their cars. Removing her sunglasses and pink helmet, the brunette girl moved to the single pump in the station, and gave a loud, large yawn.

"Uuuuagh!" Mabel Pines proclaimed, stretching her hands past her head. "Ohh, ow," she grumbled, giving her elbows a quick rub, "still stiff."

"Better than broken," Dipper pointed out as he lifted the nozzle of the gas and handed it to her, "here, load up."

"Can we get snacks too?" Mabel asked as she snatched it and placed it inside her precious, now somewhat scarred, pink motorcycle. "I really, really want some snacks after all that driving."

"Lemme see," Dipper said as Wendy leaned next to him against his car and Soos stepped up, eating out a small pouch of chips. Holding out his phone, he checked for signal, and found two out of three bars. "That's enough. We're calling him first."

"But, but snacks," Mabel protested as Dipper punched the phone.

"We're calling Zander," Dipper affirmed.

"I would also like to point out that snacks aren't a bad idea," Soos stated, "as you can see," he turned the bag over and spilled meager crumbs, "my dooditos are empty."

"I'm good," Wendy shrugged.

"I'm not saying no to snacks," Dipper told them, "let's just... see if he's going to tell us what we're supposed to be _actually_ doing." Dipper dialed quickly, making sure to press the number he had burned into memory.

"We already know what we're doing," Mabel answered eagerly, "saving the world?"

"How does going to Washington do that?" Dipper grumbled, and held the phone in front of him as he pressed the speakers button. From behind Soos, popping his head against the window in curiosity from The El Diablo dragster was a pink pig, Waddles, who oinked in interest at the group. Before a single beep could issue out of the ringing call, a voice fluttered back to them.

"Guys," Zander's phone voice called out, "you made it to Washington?"

"Oh, I really, really hope you meant the state," Soos gulped, "because I've got bad news if you meant the city."

"We're just past the border," Dipper said. He reached inside his pocket and began to play with a new foreign object recently handed to him, running his fingers along the strong, thin edges of plastic.

"Good," Zander's voice sighed, and he continued, "I'm sorry I couldn't tag along, but I have to do some teacher-homework."

"Whatever," Dipper scoffed.

"Dipper," Mabel scolded him and snatched the phone from his hand, "So! Zander," Mabel said, twirling an imaginary phone cord around her finger as she spoke, "ah, what do you need me- us- to do?"

"So the best way to get the Stone of Conservation back is to make a similar effect and bring it back ourselves," Zander explained, "which means we need similar conditions. I know of a few ways to create an anti-reality explosion, but one as potent and controlled as that, only Starkissed stone will do. So, you'll begin collecting stones of Starkissed."

"Why not just one?" Wendy asked, crossing her arms as she listened, "looked like just one stone of Starkissed did the job fine at destroying mine and Soos's homes," she added, her voice constraining with bitterness.

"I prefer to think they've been cut and pasted," Soos pointed out.

"You'll understand soon," Zander's voice calmly replied, "that the size you all saw was a rarity in of itself. The average Starkissed stone is the size and shape of a marble."

Mabel peaked up. "Huh? What? What I do?"

"Marble, not Mabel," Dipper corrected.

"Oh. Sorry, got kind of," she chuckled and grinned sheepishly, her cheeks blushing.

Dipper grumbled and spoke again to the phone. "Just why exactly can't we have you on this thing?"

"Well, for one," Zander cleared his throat, "I'm going to be a tad more busy than you guys," he stated.

"Mind telling us what?" Wendy asked.

"Sure," Zander said, "but not now. I'm pulling a huge risk right now by assuming that they won't be able to hack your phones or anything."

"Who?" Dipper gasped. "Who's hacking my phone?!"

"Enemies," Zander said bluntly, "but to answer the first question," Zander continued, "I need to get in touch with people, begin my own little science project, and then I'll be getting stones from around the world myself. This quest I'm sending you off on is a chance to keep you all moving from place to place- in case the bad guys come looking for you."

"If Graupner comes looking for us," Dipper stretched his neck, "we'll be ready for him."

"I hope so," Zander said quietly on the phone. "Well, my equipment says that the nearest town to the spot we're detecting with Starkissed signatures is a town called 'Spoons'."

"...Spoons?" Dipper repeated. Mabel burst out laughing, Soos chuckled, and Wendy shook her head, smiling.

"Better than 'Boring'," she suggested.

"Maybe the two should combine!" Mabel suggested. "Boring Spoons!"

"Spooned Boring?" Soos tried. Mabel's eyes widened and she nodded.

"As a united states senator, I proclaim that this town will be made," she decided.

"Guys," the voice from the phone spoke up," a few more things. The card I gave you will work for everything except withdrawing cash. Just remember that anyone seeing you make purchases over, say, a thousand or so, is really suspicious. Try to be subtle about using it."

"Right," Dipper lifted the simple, symbol-less black credit card from his pocket out, "hacked infinite money card, check."

"Explains how Arline was able to deal with Stan charging her the way he did," Wendy hummed.

"And lastly," Zander's voice echoed out, "Starkissed stones, by nature, emanate small traces of magic around them. Things of magic source or type will be attracted to this emanation. Wendy, you'll be able to see it too if you have any line of sight on 'em," Zander explained, "but so will everything else. Not everything out there is going to be willing to part with these stones. You may have to find out ways to get it yourself- and while I'm not happy about saying this, the fate of the world is worth more than someone losing a piece of jewelry or something."

"Noted, boss!" Mabel cheered and saluted, "steal, rob, and pillage our ways to happiness are a go!"

"Shuddup," Dipper chuckled, and looked back to the phone. "We'll call after we get this one thing. I guess you gotta always tell us where it is."

"Until you can sense these things as well as me, that's the plan," Zander said. "Well, good luck guys. Be safe."

The phone clicked as the connected ceased. Dipper clutched his cellphone back into his grasp and, gripping it tightly, shoved it away. "Figure's he'd leave us in the dark even longer."

"Huh?" Mabel glanced at him, "what do you mean? He just told us a bajillion more things. Helpful things! Like how to use cat-hair for linen!"

"He's not telling us everything though," Dipper grumbled. The gas pump clicked, pulling attention away from the topic. "Whatever. If this works, this quest thing or whatever," Dipper grumbled as he turned and removed the gas nozzle, and inserted it into his own car, "then I can let it slide... for now."

"Suit yourself," Wendy scowled, leaning on his car as she looked out into the woods, "Only a million and one questions we have for him, and he's answered like five."

"At least he's hiding secrets from us in a seemingly constructive and supportive way, just like Mister Pines did," Soos suggested. Mabel beamed at Soos as Wendy and Dipper glared at him.

"Let's just fuel up and get moving," Dipper suggested.

"Shotgun," Wendy chimed.

"I've got the pig!" Soos exclaimed.

Fueling the cars was a quick process. Not quick enough for Mabel- as she snagged the card from Dipper and bought the gang an estimated worth of a hundred dollars worth of salty, sweet, savory snacks and treats, with varying drinks of pastel and neon colors. Ten minutes later and nearly a hundred dollars worth of gas on an infinite credit card later, the three vehicles spluttered back onto the road, heading northwest.

Half an hour later, while listening to a strange collection of varied music, Dipper and Wendy had found little else to talk about, aside from mentioning noted side-attractions. At the wheel, Dipper slowly felt his mind slip into the driver's thoughts. He could focus on the road ahead while thinking- especially on an empty morning like the currant. He shifted in his seat occasionally, trying to shake off the annoying feeling of being used by someone else. His lips would form words he'd love to use on Zander, should the situation arise.

"Dude," Wendy suddenly piped up.

"Yeah?" Dipper blinked and turned to her.

"You're muttering to yourself," she told him, leaning on the passenger window, no seatbelt used. He groaned, putting his head to the edge of the wheel and leaning forward. "Just chill man. You got this," she encouraged.

"He was able to fool me the entire time," Dipper explained, "the entire time we spent with him, an entire month," Dipper reminded her, "he was able to trick us into thinking he was just a normal person."

"If you can count a multi-million duller rock-star normal," she added.

"How did I miss that one?" Dipper demanded himself, glancing into the mirror. His pride in those sharp brown eyes of his had waned, and he glared at himself now. "Have I lost my touch?"

"You can't be this hard on yourself," Wendy said, sitting upright.

"I need to be," Dipper argued.

"Why?"

"Because," Dipper chortled, "because... I need to be better!"

"Dude, you didn't do anything wrong," Wendy shrugged.

"Even Arline figured out something weird was going on with him," Dipper stated, his crestfallen gaze turning back to the road as he sank in his seat, "the martial artists got it before I could. And I'm supposed to be good at picking up on things like that. And I couldn't even figure out what you were until-"

"Stop beating yourself up man," Wendy grumbled, folding her arms across her chest, "it's getting on my nerves."

"I- oh-" Dipper stumbled, and fumbled the wheel gently, the car gently swerving side to side. "Sorry, I'll stop."

Wendy sighed, adjusting in her mildly adjusted pose. "C'mon man, you're fine at what you do. I mean, it was you who nearly destroyed Bill Cipher in that game of Strongholds and Serpents," Wendy reminded him, "and who cured his sister of lycanthropy?"

"Who couldn't figure out that you were undead all this time?" Dipper reminded her, his sullen face at it's worst.

Wendy groaned. "I had two years to perfect my act before you came back. It wasn't just you I fooled-"

"Who promised to help you find a cure, and still hasn't a clue?" Dipper asked, his trembling voice fragile.

Wendy stared at him, her own gaze faltering. Yet it was not of loss of word that brought her to a sympathetic stare. She smiled gently and shook her head. "Who was able to bring me back to the shack?"

The teenage boy turned and stared. Her green eyes twinkled so brightly in the light of the rising sun, even through the mist around them. She was close enough for him to count freckles, to see the crevices in her lips. Dipper's face shot red-hot, and he very deliberately checked his rear view mirror and side. Something about seeing those soft lips made his throat close up and his heart flutter.

He made to talk, but only ended up coughing.

Wendy chuckled. "Dude, don't sweat it," she said, and grasped the level under her chair, and flopped back. "We're in this together."

Positivly drenched in sweat from her words and stare, Dipper slowly turned back and nodded. "Right," he said, forcing himself to calm as fast as he could. "And not to mention," he nodded to the backseat, where several bags laid about, "we still have the journals."

"Yeah man," Wendy reached over and lifted one, randomly procuring from the knapsack the first journal, and flipped through pages quickly, "for all we know, we just need to cross-reference and check a fact or something. Then boom-" Wendy gently tossed the journal behind her onto the soft seat, "I can enjoy being alive again."

Dipper smiled. "Yeah," he nodded, "we _can_ do this." Wendy grinned at him, her great white teeth flashed as he smiled back. Those butterflies in his stomach did their dance, and he wished he could have eyes in the side of his head, better to watch her while driving. Instead, he turned back, and let his mind rest again.

Yet it would not. There was an opportunity here. Alone with... her. He could speak without interruption. He checked the windows ahead, spotting Mabel, who was driving casually- without her graceful swerves for fun. He glanced behind, seeing Wendy and her hat; casually sitting on her face.

Courage was needed now. He swallowed painfully.

"Wendy, uh," Dipper scratched his hands, which instantly became itchy, "uh, look... do you think that, uh, after we solve this thing, we could uh..."

"Wait," Wendy peered at him, adjusting her hat to better view him, "which thing? Saving the world or saving me?"

"Either. Both. Same?" Dipper asked himself, and then shook his head. "I... I was wondering if... well," he struggled as his brain sparred his fearful tongue, begging to remain in control of his own words. "Well, since we're kind of the same... age, uh," Dipper's internal temperature soared to new heights as he realized that anyone with half a brain could surmise what he was trying to talk about, and so his words spilled out like a tidal wave, "Iwashopingthatafterallofthiswecouldjuststartdatingsince-"

"Whoa, dude," Wendy pushed the cap off her face and stared. "What?"

Dipper stared ahead, nearly glued to the wheel. "Date." he blurted out.

Wendy, who had come up to sit next to him stared. "Us?" she asked, waving a finger between them. Dipper, from the side glance he dared to give her, noticed the particularly blank face she had suddenly adopted. His spine stiffened, so he resorted to bowing gently back and forth to nod. "Ah," Wendy leaned quickly back, "oh."

"I-I-I mean if you don't wanna, you know," Dipper laughed, "you already made that clear! Hahaha! So you can just say no!" Dipper laughed, "even though I've brought this up like three times now! Hah!" Dipper's teeth clenched together and he hissed, barely audibly, "I'm such a-"

"It's okay," Wendy's quiet voice reached his ears. "Chill."

Dipper's head nearly snapped off his body as he whipped around like a bullet. She had resumed her position, a cap over her eyes and face, with her arms up above her long hair. Her body was totally at ease. He couldn't see a line on her face, nor a fist balled up in her two hands.

"Wendy, I'm sorry," Dipper grumbled, "I'm just nervous."

"Hah," Wendy laughed, "don't lie."

Sickly red fever flooded his cheeks. "Okay... yeah. Sorry," Dipper turned back to the drive.

The rest of the car drive was empty and devoid of all talk. Wendy had become silent as Dipper, and Dipper's jaw was glued shut in a permanent attempt to prevent himself from saying anything else stupid. His self-disappointment shifted from not knowing how to do mysteries anymore to not knowing how to talk to girls. His world was misery.

Maybe sixty feet ahead and behind, Mabel and Soos' worlds were wonderful.

Mabel sung to herself in her helmet.

"_It's a killlaaaa_," Mabel hummed, "_Beeee_! _Sunflower, pollen-treat! Honeycomb with a million fleets! Guaranteed to defend the hive! Anytime!_"

In the car behind Dipper's, Soos and Waddles sang, quite by chance, the same song. "_Frightening up close in the eye, cute and cuddly on the fly, buzzing bye!_"

Nearly finishing with the song, Mabel was first to excitedly pull into the borders of none other than Spoons, Washington. A polite wood-crafted sign up front read 'Welcome to Spoons: Your Utensil dream-spot. Leave the puns to us, please'. Mabel was bouncing with excitement on her motorcycle as she pulled into the main part of town, coming to a halt on a particularly large parking area, mostly unused.

"Ohhhh, this place is soo cool already!" Mabel giggled, having jumped off the bike in a hurry, stamping her feet in place with excitement. "It feels just like Gravity Falls! Just less Gravity and Fally!"

"Yeah," Soos called at her, walking with waddles, who got out on his hoofs and proudly stretched, "sort of like Gravity Falls lost half its hicks and crazy people and traded them for crazy surfers."

"I can handle that," Wendy admitted as she stepped out, grinning at a trio of boys in surf gear, walking past them.

Dipper stepped out and joined them, glaring at the surfer men. It was barely eight, and they dared to strut around with their tops half open. "Whatever," Dipper mumbled.

Mabel instead spun around, taking in the sights. The center of town was a collection of small buildings of self-owned and operated family businesses. Brick was a widely used material, and it gave the entire area a low and slow vibe. The streets were mostly empty, save for early shoppers and passers by, who would throw the infrequent glance to the four, and their pig. Following a street towards the west, Mabel realized how closer they were to the coast. The great Pacific Ocean stood at the edge of the mist, gently caressing the shore with it's grand waves.

"So," Mabel spun around to her friends and brother and pig, rubbing her hands together, "what do, compadres?"

"Well," Dipper took in a long breath of the mist-saturated air, "we don't have a lot to start with. If we're looking for something magical, we probably should begin by investigating the surrounding areas. Interviewing people about strange things that have happened recently."

"We're going to interview them?" Wendy grimaced. Soos had turned away, staring across the street.

"Just ask them questions- you know, strange lights, vanishing people or things, etcetera. If we're lucky, someone may be hiding something that they just need someone to believe in, and then _boom_!" Dipper slapped his hands together, "we got a liable start."

"Great," Mabel said, scratching the pig's ears as she listened to Dipper while sitting on the sidewalk. "So where do we begin?" Soos leaned away, scratching his chin as he studied something.

"I think the best cause of action is splitting up and taking notes on various parts of town," Dipper explained, looking around in a circle, "there seems to be some houses up on the hill. Wendy, you should look there."

"Okay dude," Wendy nodded.

"Mabel, you're going to comb the center streets here. Start with anyone you think could have a good eye for this sort of thing," he told his sister. Mabel, now scrubbing the belly of Waddles with both arms, nodded back to him, her tongue sticking out. "I'll head towards the beachfront and ask around. Soos, you'll... Soos. Soos!"

"Sorry dawg," Soos blinked and looked back, "was just super interested in this one person who was carrying a cute little pug."

"Anyway-" Dipper tried again.

"Also was a little weirded out by with how much sun lotion they felt like putting on. Also, I don't know if I mentioned this before, they were carrying a pug," Soos finalized.

"Wait, sun lotion?" Dipper repeated.

The three glanced around Soos while the chubby man turned and pointed. "There, see?" he stated. True to his word, there was indeed a figure applying a frightening amount of sun-lotion onto their face. The individual was well dressed- more so than anyone else here could have hoped to have been. The silken clothes were finely made and color-coordinated to create a crimson and black outfit. A wide-brimmed hat covered with red and black flowers flopped atop the figure's head. Indeed, the person held a small pug on the leash, which as Dipper noticed, was also clad in the same kind of clothes- suited for the size of a dog: hat and all. It too had sun lotion covering it's fur.

"Okay... what?" Dipper gasped, watching the woman and the dog start towards the mountains.

"As probably the palest of the four," Wendy grunted, "I get to say that 'that was too much dang sunscreen for anything'. She looked like someone dumped yogurt on her face."

"Maybe it _was_ yogurt!" Mabel said, standing from the floor.

"No," Dipper gulped, stepping forward, watching the two pass by other members of Spoons, Washington. "The clothing she wore was meant for more colder climates, _and_ she wears gloves. It's not cold out at all. Why would she need _that_ _much_ sun-tan-lotion? She's wearing a hat, on a day where the mist blocks out the sun, and put more lotion on herself and on the dog than I think I ever had on myself in my entire life. She wasn't just covering up from the elements; she was completely covering up!"

"Sounds like you already got an idea," Wendy patted his shoulder. The blush, just a mild pink that flared in his cheeks gave the boy a moment of solace.

"I do," Dipper nodded, but looked across the street to the left once more, "but they came out of that shop. I say we check in first and ask before I jump to any conclusions."

"C'mon Waddles," Mabel asked of the pig as the four made it across the street. Waddles followed suit, closely staying behind Mabel.

Before them as they made it to the opposite sidewalk was a simple general store. 'General Spoons' read proudly on a large wooden sign above the door. The two glass doors before them held a pair of signs. One read 'Welcome to the proud General stores that goes above and beyond- we sell more than just spoons!' and the second read 'Please let us make the spoon jokes. We've heard them all'. As Dipper pushed the door aside, he gave Mabel a quick glare.

"What?" she asked.

"They don't want spoon jokes," he warned her, "don't start trouble."

"Awww, fine," Mabel said, letting her brother get ahead. She grinned as he turned though, glancing at her fingers to her left, both index and middle crossed over one another.

Dipper made a quick walk inside. The interior of the store was a basic general store with the added bonus of having a single row dedicated to types of spoons in all types of shapes, designs, sizes and colors. The large desk was occupied by a man of college age and bored looking as he skimmed a magazine called 'Passive-Aggressive Stances and More; But We're Fine, Don't Bother Asking'. The currant article: 'Top 10 ways to Ignore stressors until you explode anyway'.

Wendy nodded at him. "That's not a bad article," she said, catching the eye of the employee, who grunted and nodded.

"Excuse me," Dipper made to the counter, "I was wondering if I could ask some questions about town."

The man grumbled and pointed his hand to his right, further into the building, "Talk to the guy in the back."

"Thanks," Dipper glanced at Wendy, and the two headed further in.

Mabel and Soos however made a bolt straight for the aisle of spoons. Grinning at their faces all warped and distorted, they laughed.

"It's like a mini-funhouse that you could eat all the cereal in the world with!" Soos declared.

"Exactly!" Mabel nodded to him, "this is clearly the best thing this town could possibly have!" A clink of metal below her, and Mabel turned down to Waddles, who was nibbling on a smaller spoon near the bottom of the aisle. "Awww, he likes this one," Mabel patted the back of the pig.

"Hey!"

Soos and Mabel spun about, seeing the attendant behind the counter. He glared at them, tapping on the counter. "The pig's paying for that one, right?"

"Of course we are," Mabel chuckled, patting Waddles on the head, "he just wants to grow up to be a ferocious Cereal Killer!" Mabel laughed with Soos, and they high-fived one another. "Yeah!" Mabel roared.

"Totally rocking it!" Soos agreed.

"Ugh," the man at the counter clutched his head, hitting his forehead into the wood. "This is almost as bad as the idea for a cut-out of Brian Gooseling."

Mabel gasped. "SO PEOPLE COULD TRY TO MAKING HIM EAT HIS CEREAL!?" she fell to the floor laughing, "That's perfect! HAHAHA!"

"Dawg, that's a wicked idea," Soos commended him, wiping a small tear away from his eyes. Yet the man on the counter had a small spasm and gritted his teeth.

"I hate these stupid puns," he grumbled, "they'll be the death of me. Look, just bring that spoon here and buy it already, okay?"

"Sure, I'll be over _spoon_," Mabel said as he grin spread ear to ear.

The man clutched his head and groaned.

"Just... buy your crud and leave," he begged.

"Okay, okay, keep your pants on," Mabel said, climbing up from the floor, taking waddles with her as Soos tagged along.

"And for the love of all your hold dear," he glared at the two of them, "no more spoon jokes. I'm tired sick of all these puns. Going to have an aneurism from this stupid-"

"Sure, sure," Mabel shrugged and handed the new credit card.

Without turning his gaze away from the two, daring them to speak up again, he had them pay for the spoon, and handed them back the card with a receipt. "Thanks for stopping by General Spoons. Thanks, and we hope to-"

"See you _spoon_?" Soos suggested. "Oh, _Spoops_! My bad," Soos continued on a combo-spree. "Haha! Yeah!"

"Pow!" Mabel cheered, punching out at the air, "Zinger! Right on, amigo!" he slapped out and gave Soos yet another high-five. "Now that's how you end on a high note."

"Yeah dude," Soos stretched his neck, "got to get one in there after letting you get all the good ones."

They laughed together loudly until there was a muffled gurgling across from them. As the two, still smiling looked over, they saw the register boy standing rigid, his eyes unfocused and slowly rolling up. Foam was spluttering from his mouth. Slowly, his eyes went white as they rolled into the back of his head and he fell started swaying in place.

"I think he's just acting," Mabel suggested, her smile now slightly more forced. He then fell back with a loud crash onto the ground. "He'll be fine," Mabel suggested.

"Yeah," Soos nodded.

Waddles oinked loudly.

"Nothing for _you_ to see," Mabel told him, pushing him away from the counter. "Let's go find Dipper and Wendy," Mabel suggested.

"Totally a good idea," Soos agreed. They turned together and casually strolled away from the man twitching on the ground.

Dipper and Wendy had found the person in question- an old man leaning on a mop as he wove it about. Wearing a pair of white earbuds, he swiped the dirty water across the floor with lax effort. Eyes glazed over in repetitious action, he barely noticed their coming until they stood before him, eying his slow progress.

"Sir?" Dipper asked.

"What you want?" the old man asked, rubbing his pale nose with a finger.

"We're wondering if we could ask some questions about the town?" Dipper asked, pulling out from his pocket a note-pad, "we're doing a school research project."

"Aint it summer?" the man asked.

Dipper stalled, yet clicked open a pen and placed it onto the page. "I like an early start," he said not a shred of lie in his voice.

The old janitor grumbled. Pushing on the end of the mop, he shrugged. "What're you asking?"

"There was a woman who stepped out of this shop," Dipper quickly asked, "wearing heavy, expensive cloves and applying a whole ton of sun-tan lotion. Do you know her?" The old man crooked back twitched and he turned to stare Wendy and Dipper.

"You do?" Wendy asked. Dipper began to write notes hastily.

"I know people in town. We don't have fancier types 'round here. Lots of loggers. Lots of fishers. Hikers. Kids. I never known anyone who needs twenty bottles of sun-tan lotion."

"She came in and bought twenty bottles?" Dipper repeated, not looking up from his notes. He grunted and nodded.

"Weird," Wendy whispered to Dipper, who nodded as well. She then looked to the old man, "she say any reason why?"

"Something 'bout her family needin' them," the janitor shrugged.

"A family," Dipper nodded, "do you know where they live?" The janitor stared at Dipper. After a long silence, he glanced up, noticing the somewhat incriminating thing he had asked. "Uh, I'd just like to ask them myself, you know. Nothing weird or anything."

"I never seen her before. But she started up the street," he nodded to the front of the shop, "and that's towards 'em mountains."

"Right. Well," Dipper gave a tiny nod to the man, "thank you for your help," he said and snapped the notepad closed and stuffed it away.

"Sure," the janitor grumbled.

The two spun around and met immediately with Soos and Mabel.

"We got some cluse," Wendy told them.

"We got a spoon!" Soos replied.

"For Waddles!" Mabel clarified.

"Forget clues," Dipper told them, "we know what we're up against. C'mon," he pushed past the two and lead the walk out of the shop.

Passing through the front doors, and the still quaking man behind the counter, they left into the street. Behind them, someone screamed and called for an ambulance. Soos and Mabel glanced to one another, best poker faces they could manage. Waddles glanced to them, and they placed fingers on their lips- and the pig got the idea.

"So, what's the plan now?" Mabel asked, clearing her throat as they crossed the street for their cars. Dipper opened his back doors, pulling closer one of his bags. "Or are we just traveling more?"

"Oh no," Dipper chuckled, "we're not traveling. It matches with what Zander told us- magical creatures would be nearby these stones, and he said there's a stone around here. It only makes sense that we'd run into something sooner than later."

"Run into what?" Wendy asked.

Dipper turned, holding up the old, worn, Journal three. "What else do we know that needs copious amounts of sun-tan lotion and wears big, gaudy clothing that protects them from sunlight?"

"Albinos!" Mabel shouted.

"Gideon Gleeful!" Soos suggested.

"Gingers?" Wendy pointed to herself, an eyebrow cocked.

Dipper rolled his eyes and held out a pair of pages. "Vampires," he told them. The three leaned in as Dipper read aloud, having long ago memorized the pages by heart. "Among the most cunning of nocturnal hunters, vampires are humans turned to undeath by means of a curse or spell or disease. They hunger for blood, rest in coffins, and have a penchant for classy clothing. They love to hiss when threatened, even though it does practically nothing for their protection," Dipper said as they all read the passages for themselves.

"Great. So vampires," Wendy crossed her arms. "Now I've got competition for nearby undead."

"But we've dealt with vampires before," Mabel reminded her brother, "stupid Vistile and his bro's could handle us when we were twelve! What makes you think we don't have this now?"

"Because we're in their home turf," Dipper told her, "they have home field advantage. We can't afford to not be careful. Fortunetly," he grinned, and patted the trunk of his car ,"I have a few tricks of our own."

"Oh!" Soos clapped his hands together and then pointed to Dipper, "brilliant! I didn't know vampires are weak to being run over!"

"What?" Dipper gasped, "no. I-" he groaned and unlocked the trunk. With a removal of a fake bottom, the others gasped. There were four cardboard boxes, each with varying defenses against magical creatures. Sitting in a neat pile were a dozen small glass bottles. Dipper lifted two up. "Anointed water. Just sprinkle a little on the guys, and they'll run off."

"You've had this in your car the entire time?" Mabel asked Dipper, who grinned. "When did you get the chance to do that?"

"When we decided to stay the summer, I decided to stockpile a little. If we needed to travel across town with the car, we would have some backup," he explained.

"So," Soos reached in and pulled out another pair of glasses, "we're just going to go get these duds with water?"

"Yup," Dipper nodded.

"Cool," Soos nodded. From his clutches, two of the bottles fell and crashed. "Oops. Sorry dude."

"Make that ten glasses," Dipper grumbled.

Riding into the mountain was no easy trick. The gang had decided that the best course of action was to follow the supposed path that a group of teenagers earlier that day had claimed to have taken- running into monsters in the woods while they had. So parking nearby the local highschool, the four gathered up on supplies. Dipper became a grenadier- holding six of the ten bottles on his jacket. Wendy and Soos both had grabbed sturdier sticks and begun to peel ends to sharpen them. Mabel, after reassuring Waddles to stay in Dipper's car for protection, warmed up her neck and arms, cracking knuckles with each other step.

"That can't be healthy for you," Dipper told her after what could have been the twentieth time she cracked her knuckles.

"I'm trying to see if they don't go numb!" Mabel explained, "that way when I punch things, only _they_ are effected!"

"You're going to get arthritis in a day if you keep that up," he scolded her. They were now climbing up the steep slopes of the forested woods. "Okay guys," Dipper cleared his throat, aware of the blanket of mist ahead, "vampires are expert climbers. They always try getting to advantage points, so our best bet is to pay attention to the trees. They'll no doubt notice us and try to get the jump. If we see them before they do, they lose their advantage."

"Not to mention that they can't hurt me," Wendy added with a nod. "I mean, I'm not even sure vampires would _want_ to suck a wraith's blood."

"Hopefully we won't find out," Dipper cleared his throat. "Okay, into the mist guys. Be careful."

The four entered the blanket ahead, letting the colder air wash over their skin and clothing. The woods, previously alive with chatter of birds and fauna fell silent. An eerie presence surrounded them. Even as they made their best stealth attempts, their presence was an obvious one. Only Wendy and Mabel were masterfully quiet. Finally they came to a large bush, and peered past it.

"There," Dipper pointed. One by one the other three poked their heads out from the bushes and spied ahead. A well-maintained house with a white picket fence stood out of place in the woods. "I think we found our first place to look around."

"Vampires in this town live well," Wendy noted, "those are some nice windows and stuff."

"If they have good interior decorations, can we ask them about their ideas before we melt them with anointed water?" Mabel pleaded.

"Dude, I see a dog house," Soos pointed to the backyard of the home, where, sure enough, a small doghouse sat in the open.

"Okay. Remember guys," Dipper said, and pointed up to the misty clouds around them, "eyes open. We could run into anything any-" Dipper took his first step past the bushes.

With a loud whoosh, loud snapping sound, and a girlish cry, Dipper was instantly lifted into the air. The three screamed as Dipper was pulled up high by a large rope trap. He screamed, watching the world below him fly further away from him.

Finally he stopped in mid-air, and a hand reached out and grasped his hair. Pulled to face the person, Dipper saw a darkly figure in black and red clothing grinning at him with long fangs.

"Too bad you weren't looking down," he sneered, long fangs exposed in his smile. "Fool. Your blood is mine now."

"VAMPIRE ALERT," Dipper yelled, "VAMPIRE ALERT!"

"On it!" Mabel shouted, and spun to Wendy. "Toss me!"

"On it!" Wendy repeated, and with the help of Soos, lifted Mabel up, and heaved her up to the tree.

Up above, the vampire glanced down as Mabel began to leap up from branch to branch. "Predictable," he grinned. As if on cue, Mabel's foot reached on branch and the fake branch fell away. As she fell a rope snagged around her ankle, and she dangled high into the air, suspended fifteen feet up, and ten feet below Dipper.

"TRAP ALERT," Mabel roared, "TRAP ALERT!"

"My alert is more severe!" Dipper shouted, eying the vampire, who grinned back. "Oh!" Dipper remembered his ammunition, and with his free hands, reached to his chest. "Let me go, or I'll-" With the added weight of the six bottles of water, Dipper's vest slipped over his head and fell past him, landing onto Mabel's face. "Oh, c'mon," Dipper groaned.

"Ack! Dipper! Is the vampire stripping you down!?" Mabel gasped, trying to unravel herself from her brother's vest, "Don't let him touch you! NO MEANS NO!"

"That's the _least_ of my concerns right now, Mabel!" Dipper shouted back. "Wendy?! Soos?!"

Below both twins, Wendy and Soos stared up. Wendy sighed. "Okay bud, this is where we act. Hand me your water, and toss me up. I'll nail that sucker right in the face with one of these," Wendy declared, clutching the glass in her palm. "Throwing one of these thirty feet isn't a problem.

"Okay dude. Mystery friends bombing quest is a go!" he declared, handing Wendy his own bottle. With that, she placed a boot onto his outstretched palms. "One, and a two, and a-"

A howl, louder and more bestial than that either had heard previously echoed around them. Soos, half way through pushing up Wendy stumbled, having her fall out of his grasp. While Soos collapsed backwards, Wendy struggled to juggle the glass bottles, with both shattered against rocks when they fell from her hands.

"Dang it!" she grumbled.

Heavy breathing ahead of her pulled her attention up. From the shattered glass pieces on the ground, Wendy slowly looked up. A large boulder some twenty feet away from her was occupied. A large creature, upright and clad in heavy fur snarled down at Wendy. She instantly could recognize it's features.

"Werewolves too, huh?!" Wendy growled, and instinctively reached for something at her belt. "Oh right," she moaned, remembering the status of her beloved axe. "Okay. I still got this," she clenched her teeth as the werewolf leapt down, and stood at seven feet tall, some ten feet away.

The werewolf made two wide steps for her, when suddenly...

"HEY!"

Landing behind Wendy, the vampire hit the ground, and shoved Wendy aside, approaching the werewolf, who then snorted.

"Go away!" he snarled. "They're mine!"

In the flash of an eye, the form of the werewolf shrunk into a girl. Merely a few inches taller than Mabel with bushy brown hair, the girl still looked up to the vampire, but her bright yellow eyes dared to be defied.

"Yeah? It looked like you had no claim on these two," she pointed behind him to Wendy and Soos, who was only then just starting to stand up, "Not falling into one of your stupid traps."

"My traps aren't stupid!" the vampire hissed. "You're just jealous for not being smart enough to come up with more than one way to get someone- aside from chasing them all day!"

"Yeah?" the wolf-woman snarled, "I'm sure it's just the traps you put a lot of time into. How many hours did it take you to put the mascara and eye-liner on today? One? Two?"

"Thirty seven minutes, and that's not your concern!" the vampire shouted back. "How many times did you go chasing cars today?"

"NATURAL INSTINCTS AREN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF!" the werewolf woman roared, her cheeks entering a dark red.

From the distance, a new voice called out. "What on earth is going on here!?"

As the four of the mystery squad watched, the wolf woman transformed into a large canine again, and fled, running into the bushes back from where she came. The vampire gowned and turned as the person the four had seen earlier flew over, drifting next to the ambushing vampire.

"Patty Edwardson!" the woman shouted, removing her hat and looking around to the four, including the two above her head, "what is the meaning of this!?"

"She came over and tried taking them from me," the man, named 'Patty', grumbled.

"I don't care about _her_," the woman scowled, "what are you doing with these children?"

"Hey, I'm at least a teenager," Dipper retorted, still suspended upside down.

"And I'm an undisclosed age," Soos added.

"They're intruders," the male vampire said, "and my traps are being used finally!"

"They're just kids hiking up the mountain! Show some respect for public property," the woman demanded.

"They came with anointed water!" he pointed to the shattered glass vials on the ground.

"They're hiking," the woman sighed, exasperation controlling her every syllable, "of course they have water! It's what mortals DO! They drink water! Not blood, but water!"

"We're vampires, mother!" the vampire male growled, "acting like anyone can walk over us is how they lose fear!"

"We shouldn't have them fear us," the mother rolled her eyes, "these aren't the victorian years anymore, Patty. You need to-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" he shouted, holding a hand to his face as he sobbed and ran off, "MY NAME IS BLACKWING THE TORTUROUS!" With a flash of black smoke, he vanished and became a bat, soaring off into the trees.

Left to herself now, the woman also in crimson and red sighed and watched the bat fly off, a deep disappointment in her eyes. Finally she looked around to the airborne and trapped Dipper and Mabel, and the now standing and silent Wendy and Soos.

"I'm so sorry you had to hear that," the woman apologized quietly, "we've... been having family trouble."

"My dear!"

Another vampire floated down, wearing a perfectly pressed black suit with red tie. Like his wife, no without the hat, they had sleeked and perfectly groomed black hair.

"Elizabeth," he said as he landed, "did you and Pat have another-"

"Yes, yes," she sighed, and waved her hand above her, "look at what he was doing to some kids."

The man glanced up and gasped. "Oh no. More traps?"

"Two this time!" she snapped. "And was more than happy to sink to the low of their neighbors girl and try eating them!"

Without another word, the vampire man floated up past Mabel to Dipper, who's eyes widened with fear. "I'm so sorry," he apologized as his fingers grew long claws, and with a quick swipe, he cut the rope. Dipper fell a mere inch and shouted- but the man caught him, and lowered himself with Dipper in his hands. The woman followed suit with Mabel, rising up and lowering Mabel from the trap.

"I would have wished you could have met us in better circumstances," the woman sighed as she and Mabel met the earth with her male companion and Dipper. "Pat, as you saw, has been having some difficulty accepting the new outlook on vampires."

"New, huh?" Dipper shakily said.

"Yes- oh-" the man rolled his eyes, "my word we're being so rude!" he extended a hand, "I am Peter. Peter Edwardson. This is my wife, Elizabeth Edwardson."

"A pleasure to meet and... help you down," she smiled kindly to the twins. "I hope you are all unhurt."

"Except Dipper's pride?" Soos answered quickly, "we're fine."

Dipper glared at Soos heatedly. "If I paid you, I'd _soo_ deduct a paycheck from you." He turned to the pair before them. "My name is Dipper. This is my Sister-"

"Magnanimously Magnif-" Dipper elbowed her side, "ow."

"Your real name," he warned her.

"I'm Mabel," she sighed and shrugged.

Wendy nodded to the two vampires with uncertainty. "Wendy."

"I'm Soos! You can call me Soos!" Soos extended a hand to the pair, who both shook with him.

"Again, we're so sorry about our son's actions. He's been... going through a terrible phase," Elizabeth Edwardson sighed.

"Right... uh," Dipper asked, rubbing his hands together quietly. "I guess then that, uh, you're all vampires?"

"We certainly are," the proud Peter nodded and grinned, his sharp teeth bared.

"Right," Dipper cringed at the sight of the fangs, "so... uh... you're not going to hurt us?"

"Hurt you?" Elizabeth repeated.

"Yeah, you know," Mabel chuckled, and lifted Dipper's jacket onto her arm and cast her arm over her face, blocking half her face out of sight. She adopted an eastern European accent and hissed. "_I vaant to saack your blaaad_!" she snarled, and then returned to her normal posture. "None of that?"

The pair guffawed, shaking their heads in a wholesome manner.

"My word young lady," Elizabeth Edwardson chuckled, "you must have met some very old-fashioned vampires."

"Uhh," Dipper and Mabel exchanged glances. Of the vampires they had met, they had all been from Gravity Falls. With a tad bit of hindsight, the vampires present had been in town for a very long time, and the town itself was somewhat back-water. "I guess so."

"The vampires of modern society love the new image we've found common mortals see us as," Peter explained, adjusting his crimson tie, "you see, we are now sleek, sophisticated, but sympathetic creatures who enjoy the same things humans do."

"You don't drink blood?" Wendy asked.

"Well, we purchase our share from the hospitals. A blood-bag a day away keeps the blood frenzy away, you see," Elizabeth joked. Peter laughed as well, giving his knee a quick slap.

"Ha-ha!" Soos laughed, "good one."

"He liked your joke!" Peter smiled. "Say," Peter Edwardson snapped his fingers, turning to his companion, "why don't we invite them to visit! We haven't had fresh eyes on the home since the neighbors asked for that cup of vanilla."

"Oh! Great idea," Elizabeth snapped her fingers together. The pair turned back to the four. "What'd you say? Come and visit us? We do have food to accommodate mortal guests. It's the most we can do to apologize for our son's actions."

A slowly exchanging of looks befell the four. What could they say? They knew that somewhere in the region there was a magical force they needed to collect, and Zander made it clear that there was a chance it would attract other magical creatures. Vampires, in Dipper's mind, were about as magic as undead could come without being the deep end of dark forces. Still, they would be walking into a hive of monsters, who weather they liked to talk about it or not, enjoyed drinking blood.

Dipper sighed. The other three looked to him, and he back. He could only give them a small shrug. "We'd love to," he said grimly to the pair.

"Excellent!" Peter clapped his hands together.

"Come, follow us," Elizbeth and her companion began to float in the air, gliding away with the four in tow. With that, the four willingly followed a pair of blood-drinkers into their home.

* * *

To start with season three, we begin, where else, with a parody of sorts. Kinda of. I'm going to go on a branch and assume that I don't need to explain half these jokes. Unless they're spoon puns- those are hard to comprehend. :p

Anyway, it officially begins! A big thanks to those of you who reviewed for the prologue, and for those of you that voiced interest in helping this series become an auditory one. Some of you have some really, REALLY cool things to offer, and I'm very, very excited to see/hear from you further.

So, officially, this is how I'd like to invite people to audition.

Actors: Please perform 3-5 scenes. I want 2-3 to be in character scenes from my story, 1-2 to be improv of your impersonation of that character giving a monologue about... whatever. You're more than welcome to ask for scenes or script from me, if you'd like. I understand that it is hard to read this story in any format friendly for voice, so feel free to ask me. Anything else you'd like to do I welcome, but try not to make your total material length over 7 minutes. I'd prefer it to be around 4 minutes total. Also actors- here's the list of character's I'd love to hear material from. (Main Characters) Dipper &amp; Mabel Pines, Wendy, Soos, Stan. (Minor characters) Old Man McGucket, Sheriff Blubbs, Deputy Durland, Sibs the Goblins/Goblin voices, Grenda (remember: she had voice training), Candy Chu, Multi-Bear, Jace and Jessandra, Bill Cipher, Uki-Dohth. If you want to do one not listed, by all means do so, just remember- I'm looking for these and similar voices in particular.

Editors: If you feel you are capable in mashing music and sounds together, please send me clips of the approximate total size (any number of clips, as long as they all add up to around 3-4 minutes). Scriptural editors can feel free to take a piece of work I've yet to correct (or a few) and tell me what I missed and why.

Artists: I'm looking for avatars/icons of important characters who commonly speak. If you can give a small sample (something minor, not to crazy... yet) I'd be super-duper crazy thrilled. The idea is to have these avatars appear or fade in when their lines are spoken during the videos. The art style should resemble the original format of Gravity Falls, but feel free to tweak to your own personal sense of artistry. And remember: this is three years after the original. Send me whatever you think is cool, and I'd probably go nuts.

And finally, if you can't help with these, I would love, love, LOVE for you to help me find those who would be interested. I'm only one guy here, but I know each of you know at least one other person in your life. I need a small army of participants to make this happen- especially in the voice acting thing. As of right now, I only have one confrimed female voice actor, and that _isn't_ Mabel. So, even if YOU can't help me, please consider asking people you think may be able to.

Remember, my email for this is now "TheReturntoGravityFalls 'at' Gmail dot com". All things related to the building of the audiobook, please ask, send material, or converse, with me there.

I'm really happy so many of you are already interested. I will be stopping the auditions at the end of December. January 1st is my last day I let people audition, until I post otherwise. Try to get to me as soon as you can with your material, as I'd like to be able to sort through all your beautiful work not rushed. :) Take your time but don't procrastinate. I understand if you're busy and can't, especially since so many of you have exams, but I'd really love for you to get to me sooner telling me when I can expect something from ya. So...

May the odds be ever in your favor.

(EZB is struck by an arrow in the back.) OW! C'mon, I wasn't even done with the authors notes. Dang, that stings.

(From the bushes, Katnis, Legolas and Hawk-Eye all pop up.)

Hawk-Eye: Shall we?

Legolas: I like the practice.

(EZB is promptly hailed with arrows.)


	66. Daybreak: Part 2

When handed a cup of tea by a vampire, the first question someone sensible would ask themselves is 'should I take it?'. For Dipper, this ran though even before they were seated in the lush, cushioned couches in the living room. All he had to do is see the cup and kettle across the large living room with various stuffed pieces (including one covered by a sheet that ominously looked humanoid), and he began to hypothesize an answer. Vampirism, pending on how it was contracted, could be contagious, and Dipper wasn't feeling the desire to suck blood for the rest of existence. So, as he and the four sat on the large bright red couch in the surprisingly bright living room, he stared and watched.

The woman, Elizabeth Edwardson turned from them with her constant apologetic smile, and lifted the tea. "We just brewed some passion orange. Would you like some? I'm sure being tied up in a noose by our son was exhaustive."

Dipper lifted his hand to decline-

"YES!" Mabel barked. "Tea please!"

_So much for planning _Dipper internally grumbled as Mabel grinned ear to ear.

As the lady of the house brought tea over, Mabel chirped up further. "You have such a tastefully decorated house! I love your use of stuffed animals!"

"Well thank you, young lady," Peter Edwardson said, walking around from the hallway to a large plush chair across from the couch. As his wife poured the tea, he lifted up a small pipe from a box before him, atop a simple but well crafted coffee table. "This house has been a generational piece for two hundred years. My father constructed it, and it was mine and my wife's pleasure to re-decorate it recently."

"I can tell," Soos nodded, looking over to a large bear, who was moved in a curiously modern position, "I love the details you've put onto them- like they're still having fun."

"Thank you," Peter smiled, and lit the pipe, "his name is Bundles. Poor sport was hunted by my father. We figured we could make his stay here more than just a trophies existence."

Dipper glanced up to the bear in question. Sunglasses were adorned onto it's face on the bridge of it's snout, and it wore a very large T-shirt which read 'Bearable awesome'. Mabel cackled under her breath as he scowled.

"And what's under that one?" Dipper looked over to the one covered in the sheets just as Elizabeth brought over tea for each of them.

The supposed husband and wife turned and stared at the white cloth. "That's Victor," Elizabeth grumbled. "And he get's to stay like that."

"Tea!" Mabel cheered and quickly sipped. "OW! HOT!"

"Right," Wendy said, staring at the cup in the plate in her hands. "I'll just... hold this."

"For his bad behavior, he stays under the sheet," Peter added with a sad shake of his head.

"He looks sort of... human," Dipper pointed out as he balanced his tea plate on his lap.

"He was," Elizabeth sighed.

"Dude," Wendy gasped and stared at the couple, mouth wide with shock, "really? You stuffed a human being?"

The two matured vampires shared a look, a regretting moment passing between them. "In youth we were much... different," Elizabeth explained.

"Oh, so you only once killed and stuffed humans you killed," Soos nodded, studying them as he sipped his tea. "Oh! Nice flavors."

"Thank you," Elizabeth fluttered a smile.

"Our habits and... personalities," Peter answered Soos, his words chosen very deliberately as he paused to think, "have changed much over the years. We were once brutal and vicious hunters. Prowling the night and taking what we wished when we wanted."

"But times change," Elizabeth sweetly said, and sat on the armchair of her husbands seat, "and so do we," and she turned, giving a grin to her husband, who chuckled back.

"You're now upstanding citizens of Spoons!" Mabel cheered.

"That's the ticket!" Peter pointed at her with the pipe.

"Is there a reason for your, uh, shift?" Dipper asked.

"People, naturally!" Peter exclaimed. "We're a species not human now, and we're sourly outnumbered. Why try fighting when we can be more than happy just adapting to a lifestyle that, well, we rather enjoy!" he smiled and hugged his wife's midriff with one arm.

"You do it in spades," Mabel commended them, "it's like I'm in a perfectly normal home with no need to worry about safety whatsoever!"

Elizabeth held her hand to her chest as her breath swallowed. "That is the kindest thing I could have expected you to say, sweetheart."

"Oh, see dear?" Peter smiled. "The kids in town are great."

"Oh, well," Soos held up a hand after a long sip from his tea, "we're not from around here, actually." Wendy and Dipper glared at him. "What? Well, you two aren't really," he said to Dipper.

"They don't need to know more than they already-" Dipper grumbled under his breath to Soos, and glared back to the couple, who were busy staring dreamily at the four. "Uh... you two okay?" Dipper nervously asked, wondering if the two were imagining sinking their fangs into his neck.

"We've wished for the moment we had guests over and they were more worried about their own deals than us in our status," Elizabeth sighed gently.

Dipper blinked. His mind was a great tool for solving problems and mysteries, and so it always worked to find the best possible outcome to his problems. In this case, he had prepared to destroy the vampires with whatever means possible. Yet... maybe... He cleared his throat and leaned forward. "Mister and Misses Edwardson," Dipper asked, "we're not from town. My friends and I-"

"And I'm his sister!" Mabel cried out.

Dipper glared at her. "-are looking for a stone. We've come to town to find a stone called 'Starkissed'. They're super rare and hard to come by. We think one is around here. Could you help us find it?"

The couple listened to Dipper intently, his words caught and registered by them one at a time. Finally, they looked to one another, mouthing words. A full silent conversation passed between the vampire couple as they kindly debated something before the four.

"Well," Wendy sighed, looking to her tea, "at least it smells good."

"You not going to drink any of that?" Soos asked, putting his empty cup down.

"Knock yourself out," Wendy shrugged and handed it towards Soos.

"No!" Mabel pushed it back, "we gotta be polite! They've been super cool with us and stuff! I mean, look at that bear!" she pointed to the stuffed animal. "At least sip it, Wendy."

Wendy sighed, glowering at the tea. "I hate the pains I get after trying food and drink," she grumbled, and sipped quietly, "never helps."

Suddenly Elizabeth stood. "Wait here." She then turned and left down a hallway leading deeper into the home, passing the bear and sheet-covered stuffed figure.

Peter leaned forward, placing the pipe aside. "We know about Starkissed."

"Really?" Mabel asked, her tea slipping onto her knees. "HOT AGAIN!"

"It's the jobs of those who do not age to be educated. I could tell you how much it weighs, how much each gram costs, and more importantly," Peter Edwardson cleared his throat, "where they come from." To that, the entire group leaned forward, Mabel's knees steaming with hot tea.

"Tell us, please," Dipper asked.

"It's approximately the same weight of copper," Peter began, "per gram it costs nearly five hundred thousand dollars-" Wendy's mouth fell open in an audible groan while Dipper felt numb, "-and it comes from atom sized gaps in our universe- known as source-points."

"Ohhh," Mabel nodded, her eyes glazed over. "So it costs a lot and it comes from... another universe."

Peter shrugged. "More or less. So I answered a question, "he looked to them, "now answer mine, if you would. Why are you looking for such a rare stone, and how do you know of it?"

"We're saving the world!" Soos declared. Dipper's heated stare could have melted steel, and Soos noticed. "Ah. Sorry. Got really excited about the info we just snagged."

"Soos, the amount of lines you cross-" Dipper started.

"Here we are," a voice floated from the hallway, and the four turned their attention. Walking out and around from the distant corner was Elizabeth again, holding in her clutches a small box. "This was a present Peter's grandfather made for his son. It's something of an heirloom now."

"Yes. Open it for them, dear," Peter smiled.

Holding her fingers across the box, the four stared in anticipation. The carved tan and dark cherry wood was split as the crease opened wide, revealing the mouth of the ornate carved, handheld crate. Inside was a velvet lined violet, where a small metal choker rested. The four gasped- gold in made and lined with tiny pearls, the centerpiece of the choker was a tiny, marble sized stone. It gently hummed with light that swayed and swirled, a nebulous mesh of colors.

"It's soo..." Mabel awed, her eyes taking up her entire face.

"Small," Dipper blinked.

The couple stared at him. Their smiles, having grown considerably from showing off their prized jewel, became stagnant and stunned.

"Beg your pardon?" Peter asked.

"Well, I mean," Dipper felt his face heat up, and a nudge from Wendy told him he needed to fix his mistake, "I heard, uh, so much about them, and so I thought they would _look_ bigger, that's all."

"Also, we once found one larger than a softball," Soos explained.

It was the couple's turn to react. Their mouths fell open, their fangs exposed as they stared in complete disbelief. After a moment, Elizabeth chuckled.

"Kids," she sighed, and closed the box, "wondrous imaginations."

Dipper grumbled. Having them disbelieve them was one thing, but he was tired of having the excuse of knowing something elders did not always being connected to his age. His jaw tightened, he spoke up again. "I know that means a lot to you, but we need that-"

"I'm sorry, but the answer is no," Elizabeth answered quickly. "I was not kidding when I said it was an Heirloom. We're not just handing it away."

Dipper swallowed. "Then we-"

The front door from which they had all entered opened and slammed shut. The couple's confidence faltered, and they eyed the four. Without an explanation, a small bat flew in through the hallway, squeaking loudly.

"Don't use that tone with your mother, young man!" Peter rose hastily, his body tensed.

"And no flying in the house," Elizabeth seethed, "you'll break something."

With a small poof of smoke, the bat vanished and a older teenage boy, dressed head to toe in neo-Victorian clothing stood. The four instantly recognized the figure- the vampire that had inplimented the traps that caught them from earlier.

With a wild spin and hiss, the boy snarled at the four, and then to his parents. "Really!?" he yelled. "We're inviting prey into our house!?"

"Hi Pat!" Mabel waved at the vampire.

"These are our guest," Peter growled, "and you will respect them as such."

"Respect!? We're vampires, you idiot!" Pat Edwardson roared. "We command respect through _fear_!"

"How dare you speak to your father like that!" Elizabeth shrieked. "You- you've been messing with that wolf-girl from next door haven't you!?" she snapped, "she's been giving you these habits!"

"I hate her, mom!" Pat shouted.

"That's it, young man," Peter stormed closer, "you are grounded!"

"WHAT?!" Pat shouted, "for trying to be a _real_ freakin' vampire!?"

"For causing a scene in front of more than polite visitors, for disrespecting your mother and I, and for bringing this house a bad name! You can forget about sleeping in a coffin until you're done with this ridiculousness!" Peter yelled at his son.

The pale face of the younger vampire went white. "But- I- my coffi-" and with a loud snarl, from which his voice broke various times, the young man spun and turned back into a bat, and flew back out.

The silence that fell after the door slammed was a troubled one. The four remained glued on the couch, aware of their witness to a family with it's fare share of problems, even if they were immortal creatures of the night. Slowly, Elizabeth raised a hand to her eyes, and brushed tears from her eyelids.

"That was pretty rough," Wendy finally spoke up.

"He's... not always been like this," Peter sighed as he patted his wives' shoulders. "There was a time when we would sit together and play games, and talk about what normal people in town did for fun, make fun of them for it. But now that we're trying to acclimate, and since the neighbors moved in, he's become sour."

"Neighbors?" Mabel shot up, "you actually have neighbors?"

"Yes," Elizabeth motioned for Mabel to follow her, walking to the hallway. The four stood and followed, as Mabel lead the shift to the new room. A large curtain blocked out a window, and Elizabeth pointed to it. "Check for sunlight, could you?" she asked Mabel.

"Course!" Mabel grinned, and poked her head under the sheets. "All foggy!"

"Excellent," Peter sighed, and pulled aside the curtains with a brisk tug.

Exposed before the six was a clear view of a the garden in front of the house, and a eerily similar house across the hill. The design was nearly the same, and sporting a larger family, the home was cozier. As the six stared, they found two younger children playing in the yard with a hound the size of wolf, where two parents stood proudly and watched, pleased with their kids happiness.

"Who're they?" Soos asked.

"They're the Taylors," Elizabeth hummed, her tone suddenly icy. Her smile thinned and her eyes grew a cold glare.

"Moved in a few days ago, out of the blue," Peter explained. "A lot of weird things have been happening since a few days ago, but their arrival and quick purchase of the land was odd."

"They seem... normal," Dipper shrugged, watching the kids play around with the dog, who playfully allowed the kids to chase after him. Suddenly, the kids lunged at him, and the dog transformed into a twenty year old or so boy. "WOAH," Dipper said.

"Normal for shapeshifters, I suppose," Peter hummed. At this point, the parents at the other house noticed them, and after a pause of staring, waved over. Peter and Elizabeth both gave small waves, their stoney faces unchanging.

"They don't seem that blood-thirsty," Wendy admitted.

"It's their second child, and oldest daughter," Elizabeth turned to Wendy, "the brat. _Lauren_."

"She and Pat are the same age you see," Peter explained further, "so, when the family moved in, we thought it'd be nice to introduce us to them. We met, and had a dinner together- which was marvelous really, being able to talk about how superior senses allow us to sense things normal humans cannot."

"Uh," Dipper turned and checked up on Peter, who continued to stare coldly out the window, "right."

"But when the two, Pat and Lauren met and had a chat alone, our boy had been changed!" Elizabeth moaned, her voice cracking, "and he's never been the same! He's now constantly talking about how we need to be monsters."

"For Christmas, he wants a guillotine. This isn't the French revolution," Peter growled.

Mabel stared at the parents, and then to the family outside. As she watched the children play, her eyes befell that of the over-watching parents. Something about their stares told her that they felt the same way as these two. The shape-shifter parents stared at the same place, talking so mutely that their lips barely moved. They were watching the Edwardsons watch them. There was mistrust in the families.

Then it clicked. She, Mabel, had heard this before from somewhere. She knew how two families feuding against one another could be helped.

"Hey, Daddy and Momma Edwardson," Mabel spun around, calling to attention of the two, "I have a proposition for you." To her bold words, all five turned and listened. "You see, I'm a matchmaker that even love-gods bow and respect-"

"Oh no," Dipper quietly mumbled.

"-And I think I have the skills to help your boy, fear loving, blood crazy son settle back to reality," Mabel offered.

"Really?" The couple asked in unison.

"But I have to ask," Mabel placed her hands together, eyeing the two with a predictive cunning, "how much is your son being on good terms with you worth?"

"The world," Elizabeth instantly said.

"He has a few more years before he's fully mature, but after that," Peter quickly informed Mabel, "he won't age. Vampire grudges can last forever. We want our son back."

"Then, with a price back guarantee," Mabel said as she gave her widest saleswoman grin, "I'll fix your son, for the price of..." she held her hand out to Dipper, who stared at her.

"...uh... what? Favors?" Dipper tried. Mabel smacked his shoulder. "Ow- OH! OHH! The stone!"

"I, on the greatest honor of the prestigious and powerful matchmaking art form," Mabel declared, "will fix your son with the promise that you give us the stone."

Only a single glance was exchanged between the two. It was a fast, knowing look. Without another word, they communicated in the same manner that Dipper and Mabel had done so before. Elizabeth turned to Mabel, her smile an apologetic one.

"My dear... if you can bring our son back to us, as normal as he once was," she said, reaching out and placing a hand on Mabel's shoulder, "than consider it done. But no stone until then."

"Then this is work for," Mabel reached inside her sweater and pulled out a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses, "the love-doctor."

Thirty minutes later and never once removing her pink sunglasses, Mabel lead the group into the 'General Spoons' store to gather date requirements.

"So, we're actually here to get supplies to kill them and get the stone, right?" Dipper demanded of Mabel, walking down the isle with her as she casually threw item after item in his shopping cart.

"No!" she cheerily said.

"But you saw their son," Dipper reminded her, "and he's a mess! Thinks he's some Dracula or something."

"And that's what we're here to change," Mabel smiled to herself as she lifted another of powdered hot chocolate mix into the shopping cart, "his sulky sullen bloodthirsty days into ones with a bright metaphorical sun!"

"And you're doing that with spoons and hot-chocolate?" he asked, examining package. "You realize that this is expire, right?"

"Oops, force of habit," she chuckled, "use to Grunkle Stan telling us to only buy old stuff."

Dipper eyed the tossed aside package as she lifted a new one into the cart. "Mabel, look, I know you're trying to do good here, but we're on a tight schedule. Vampires are evil by nature, so maybe we should just try to sneak in and steal the stone for ourselves. We know they have it, and we could, easily get in-"

"Love triumphs more than war," Mabel stated.

"Love causes wars," Dipper retorted.

"Whatever philosopher," Mabel stuck out her tongue. "To the cashier! I have some new jokes for the guy, just so he can see I haven't lost my touch."

"Who?" Dipper asked.

As they rounded the end of the line, they both spotted the counter, and behind it, a middle-aged woman with graying black hair. Dark half-circles rested under her eyes, and she growled as she adjusted the register.

"Of all the times to go to the hospital," she mumbled to herself as the two made it to the counter.

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"My trusted employee recently was assaulted," she told them, scanning the spoons, marshmallows, hot chocolate, and various zany-flavored syrups with her laser, "and is recovering in the hospital."

"He was assaulted?" Dipper asked incredulously.

"About two hours ago, some punks came in and caused him to go into a seizure," she said, and held her hand out for Dipper for his currency. Slowly, eyeing her, he handed her the card. "I'm on the lookout for them while covering his shift."

"Huh, two hours ago?" he thought aloud as she scanned the card, "That's about the same time we-"

"Wow! Look at the time!" Mabel loudly cut in, "we really should be going! No receipt needed! Thanks, bye!" she cried out, snatching the card and pulling Dipper out of the store with the hastily bagged items.

Dipper eyed his sister. "Any reason we ran out of the store so suddenly?"

"We're in a rush, duh?" Mabel said, flashing her toothy grin. Dipper continued to watch her, noting how stretched her smile seemed to be, even up until the twins made it to the cars and bike, where Soos and Wendy awaited.

"So, according to the local tweens," Wendy said, leaning on Dipper's car, "the goth kid who's always angry is always lurking around the graveyard, and will attack anyone who talks to him."

"And the crazy wild girl likes to hang out on the beach, and sometimes chases surfers into the city, and then chases any car she sees," Soos added, "so, she's pretty much like waddles but replacing hot dudes and cars with mush."

"Surfers aren't all that crazy," Dipper mumbled, eying a pair of young adult surfers, their toned bodies passing by.

"It's at minimum eye candy," Wendy nudged Dipper with a chuckle, who pointed looked away and sighed.

"Excellent. If we know that... I got an idea," Mabel said, rubbing her hands together. "This will take a bit of everyone's best, so I need to plan this with you all very particularly. You ready to hear a bit of Mabel Mastery?" she asked.

The four huddled, listening to Mabel's intricate plan.

* * *

It was later in the evening in Spoons Washington when Mabel finalized her costume. In the mirror of the restaurant she rented out for ten thousand dollars on the card, she adjusted the moustache beneath her nose that rustled against her lip. "Magnifico!" she tried. "Nah. Ahem- _Magnifico_!" she exclaimed in a grand Italian accent, flourishing her hands in the air. "Perfect!"

She was in the entirely empty bathroom of the "Il Cucchiaio Sporco", a small but well entitled cafe and restaurant on the outskirts of town. After a long struggle to dig up her materials, Mabel looked to her best attire. Somewhere between a music awards hostess and rave-dancer, Mabel checked the colors and wrinkles of her neon rainbow skirt. Then she looked to her face; the amount of stickers on her face for the occasion. Three was needed, and she spotted three. "Phew," she sighed, "looks like that's it."

So she turned and left the bathroom. Awaiting outside was the entire staff of the restaurant, who eyed her choice of what she claimed to be 'Appropriate attire'. She clapped her hands together.

"Begin the cooking. One of everything on the menu!" she declared.

"Yes Ma'am," the head host nodded, and barked orders to the rest of the staff as they turned and began to rapidly work.

Passing by the interior work-place of the kitchens to the now empty restaurant, Mabel found her two friends and brother waiting for her by one of the lesser-used side doors. Unlike her, they worn their standard issue-gear. Wendy choked and suppressed a laugh from Mabel's choice wear, and Soos nodded, saying, "Nice."

"The heck you wearing?" Dipper demanded of Mabel.

"My best!" Mabel proclaimed, "it was going to wear it to the last day of summer here, when me and the girls were going to hold the biggest party of the summer and rock out until we passed out, but I think it works as unofficial host."

"There are glow-sticks stitched into the skirt," Dipper pointed out.

"Yup!" Mabel nodded. "Oops!" she spotted on in particular as she checked the skirt with a small spin, "missed one." She reached down, and with a quick snap of her fingers, broke the interior casing, causing the liquids to glow.

"At least you're in the zone, Mabes," Wendy smirked.

"Oh yeah, I so got this," Mabel nodded to them. "Now," she leaned in, "they both got the invitations?"

"Yeah," Soos nodded, "I was able to get within reasonable distance to the vampire dude without him trying to kill me. I just left the note at his foot, and when he thought I wasn't looking, he picked it up and read it."

"Perfect!" Mabel cheered, "no one can resist my invitations!"

"Really?" Dipper asked.

"Well, people with souls can't," Mabel rolled her eyes. She then turned to Dipper, worried. "Vampires have souls, right?"

"Well, at least wolf-girl is coming," Wendy sighed, "she tried chasing me after I tried chilling with her, but I know she got the letter."

"Really?" Dipper asked, smiling, "you don't strike me as diplomatic."

"I wasn't. When she started chewing on my boot," Wendy lifted her foot up easily, showcasing the very deep tooth and claw marks along her pant legs and now tarnished boots, "I punched her in the face hard enough to knock her off the side of the building I was climbing up. I saw her read it afterwards, so at least she got the message."

"Perfect!" Mabel leapt high, clapping her hands together like a hummingbirds beating wings.

"Mabel," Dipper confided in his sister, pulling her aside, "are you sure about this? You'll be alone with two supernatural creatures- dangerous ones at that. We can just take option B and storm the Edwardson place until we get the stone and then leave town."

"Dipper, please," Mabel flapped a hand lazily at him, "I've already been a werewolf once, and we've beaten down vampires before. What's there left to fear?"

"For your life?" Dipper suggested.

"Broseph," Mabel gently chuckled, pulling out her glasses again, "this is my thing. I make people work like glue and even sticker glue!" she placed her glasses on, and wiggled her eyebrows.

"You know I can't see you do that, right?" he reminded her.

"And besides," Mabel put a hand on his shoulder, "this is exactly like romeo and juliet. Two families who are at ends, and two young lovers. Fate is on my side with this one," Mabel explained.

"In Romeo and Juliet, the two started to fall in love by chance," Dipper pointed out, "and in the end they _killed_ _each_ _other_."

"In the name of looove!" Mabel cooed, "how romantic!" Dipper glared at her, and she nodded. "I got this. Give me some time with these two nuts."

"Okay Mabes. We'll be in the cars, watching. Don't get hurt, okay?" Dipper asked, his voice betraying his attempted stern voice, leaking through with definite concern.

"Get outta here goober," Mabel pushed him aside, smiling, "this is my show."

He grinned and turned away, walking with the three out of the restaurant. Mabel was now alone, with the sounds of the hard-working kitchen in the background. With the sun dying through the windows, it was only a matter of time when the two would be arriving.

"Will you be needing help, Miss Pines?" one of the hosts approached her.

"No, Antonio!" Mabel barked, "this is work that I must accomplish alone! Leave me be!" The man nodded and curtly walked back into the kitchen. "Now, for the mood," she grinned, and quickly ran over to the only remaining table in the whole place. A small couple-sized oval was lit by the dim ambient light, and to Mabel's hope, her own candles she had bought- scented for 'Rustic Rome'.

With the two large glasses she had asked for in advance, she began to prepare her hot chocolate. Two large cups, one for each of the attendees, each overflowing with marshmallows, and topped with a single candied cherry. It was perfect- she almost wanted to fall in love with herself, but there were more important things than her own self-accreditation.

She stood away from the lit table with two chairs, and adjusted her skirt. It was ready. So she spun and watched the sun set.

One minute away.

The moment they walked in, Mabel had them trapped. Dipper had a good point with the vampires, as without permission, they could not enter a building, but Mabel had ensured that with the invitations. Once seated, she would begin the music and have her pre-set meals come out. Just in case they decide to resist, she had the staff with other meals on standby. They couldn't wiggle their way out of her love-trap.

And so, as Mabel grinned wider and wider, the sun finally settled away over the distant end of the ocean horizon.

She turned to the front just in time to see the neo-Victorian man walk in, scowling about. Mabel cleared her voice, and prepared her best Italian.

"Ah! Master Edwardson!" she said, twirling her fake moustache as she walked over. The man's eyes bulged. Either revulsion or shock was etched into his entire being.

"The heck- I thought-" then he blinked. "You!? The girl from my parents place?" he demanded.

"It's-a-me, Mabel!" she declared, "but enough about me," she said, reached out for his arm, and pulled him over, "this is about your important-a date!"

"What is going on here?" he demanded as he stared around nervously, "I know you had a brother with anointed water. This is a trap, isn't it?!" he barked, being seated by the lone table.

"Now, now!" Mabel wiggled her finger, refusing to drop her horrendous accent, "this isn't a time for-a trapping! But a opening of the heart!"

"...what?" Pat blinked.

Mabel grinned. Either he was too stunned for words of and heard, to her incredulous shock, another pair of footfalls. Spinning about, she saw, to her glowing red cheeks as she beamed even wider, a well-dressed girl with curly hair walk in.

"Madam Taylor!" Mabel exclaimed, turning away from the vampire currently seated at the table, "welcome!"

"I was told there would be free-" she stumbled at Mabel's sight, pointing to her face, "are there... stickers on your face?"

Mabel winked and wiggled her lip, jostling the moustache left and right. "Only for the best occasions: sparkling ones!"

"Who are you supposed- hey!" Lauren Taylor whined as Mabel pulled her to the table, and placed her in the seat directly across from Pat, who's eyes darkened instantly at the sight of the girl before him.

"What is this?" he demanded of Mabel.

Mabel grinned, lifted her hands, and clapped them. "_Dinner!_" Behind her, three waiters approached, each holding trays anointed with metal covers to hidden plates. Between each of the three at the table a waiter stood, and then slowly lowered their trays before them, lifting away the metal veils. "For the starter, please help yourself to any starter."

"Wait, what?" Lauren leaned into her chair as she looked about. "Why?"

"Because this restaurant serves you two this evening," Mabel grinned, and snapped her fingers, "playlist!" she shouted. From the speakers, music began to gently sway through the air- of true Italian romance. "For tonight, the two of you can romance to your hearts content!"

"Romance?!" Pat shouted, standing from his seat.

"Two of _us_?!" Lauren shrieked, also rising.

"Well, duh," Mabel rolled her eyes, "I'm the host. I'm not romancing anyone, at least not now," she grinned to herself, adjusting her moustache self-consciously, "and the staff are here to serve you."

"You mean this note I got," Pat held up his paper, "was sent to me by... her?" he asked, pointing to Lauren.

"And this from him?" Lauren asked, lifting up her own copy.

"Hmm," Mabel leaned back, eying the two, "Maybe. But first!" she waved her hands around, "eat!"

A long, suspicious pause flooded the air at her suggestion.

"Why?" Pat growled.

"Why not?" Mabel shrugged.

"Because Italian cuisine is known for their use of Garlic!" he stated proudly and with conviction, "something I am allergic to!"

"Oh, well don't worry," Mabel said, and snatched a breadstick closest to her from one of the still awaiting waiters, "we made sure there was no garlic in the recopies this evening! It made some of the staff cry from grief to hear it!" True to her words, one of the waiters was tearing up, his nose sniffling gently. "See?" she said after taking a large bite from the breadstick, "Roman here can't get over it still."

"Or this could be a trick," Pat snarled, still glaring at Mabel.

"Look," Lauren stared between them, "I don't care anymore. I thought I was going to be dating someone legit here, not some tough-guy wannabe."

"Wannabe?!" he roared back. "Says you, you sorry excuse for an animal!"

"Guys," Mabel held her hands up on either side, her mouth still filled with bread, "please. This is a night for-"

"You're just lucky I came at all!" Lauren grumbled, stepping away from her seat, "you got a chance to see a _real_ monster tonight!"

"Dressed like that, monster is what I'd expect," Pat chuckled darkly.

"Watch it, _Edwardson_," Lauren snarled, showing her teeth as she leaned into the table, her fingers digging into the side. The three waiters leaned away, staring at her in fear.

"Make me, _Taylor_," Pat hissed back, his own fangs bared. The three waiters then back away from him, now caught between a bad place.

Mabel's grip on the breadstick snapped. Two halves of a mostly chewed on piece of highly buttered piece of bread flew apart. The two pieces, so conveniently landed on the still empty plates before the two youths, who both remembered then that Mabel was still there. Turning to her, their rage slightly faltered. The teenager, who up until that point had been bubbly and giddy, simmered in a boiling anger.

"Sit down, you two," she asked.

"Why should I? I shouldn't even take you seriously!" Lauren pointed out, "you've got stickers on your face for crying out loud!"

"These are perfectly reasonable stickers," Mabel snapped back, her voice never rising above a complacent chat, but the words forced out from her with jabs. She pointed to the highest, "this one, 'Life Sucks Without You'," which sported a silly vampire hugging a heart, "leads into 'It's A Ruff Day Without You'," where a wolf gave big sad eyes outwards, "and they finally lead to 'Would It Bite To Be Mine?'," where a small cartoon werewolf and vampire hugged happily. "It makes perfect sense to use these in relation to the theme!" The two stared at her answer, as astonishingly well thought out as it was.

"This whole thing is stupid," Pat grumbled.

"Oh yeah?" Mabel slowly turned, the muscles in her neck tightening as she slowly turned to him.

"I don't eat with anyone. I'm top of the line predator, and she's number two," he added with a grin. Lauren snarled, and Mabel closed her eyes, a vein in her neck twitching. "I don't really see what either of you could do to stop me anyway."

On cue, Mabel shot her eyes open. Snapping her fingers, she called, "Pablo." Another waiter came over, and held up a chair. "Hand the chair to Master Edwardson."

"Understood," Pablo nodded, lifted up a spare chair from the side of the room and handed it to Pat. The vampire, stared at the wooden seat before looking back up to Mabel.

"What's this for? Want me to put you in your-"

Mabel roared and flipped her foot into the air with a blazingly fast kick. As the two supernatural beings gawked, the chair exploded into wooden shrapnel, thrown across the room with a clatter. Pat Edwardson was holding only the remaining chair leg he hand been handed, and let it drop to the floor. The three waiters turned and leaned away, staring at her in fear.

"I got a friend to do this for you," Mabel said, as she slowly lowered her still-lifted leg and place it into the ground. "He paid for an entire restaurant so you two could have a lovely date together and see that there's more to you two than just the need to be a scary monster. I don't like wasting my friends _money_!" she shouted so hard that the moustache fell from her lip onto the table. Taking a moment to re-adjust her stickers and flatten her skirt, Mabel leaned away, and held her hand back to the table. "Now, please sit. Or do you want to be the chair next?"

Pat instantly sat down, his eyes never peeling away from Mabel, wide and never blinking. Lauren watched him and Mabel intermittently, slowly seating herself with more dignity.

Mabel took in a long breath, and wiggled her fingers for a moment. Finally, she got a smile back on her face. "Now, appetizer?" she asked.

"I can only have blood," Pat shrugged.

The waiters gasped and stepped away from him, coming closer around Mabel and Lauren. Mabel sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she turned to Lauren, "how about you?" Mabel lifted up a breadstick, "they're still nice and waaaarm..."

Crossing her arms, Laruen grumbled. "I'm not hungry."

"For Italiano?" Mabel asked teasingly.

"No."

The three waiters gasped and stepped away from her, gathering around Mabel.

"C'mon guys!" Mabel sighed, "you can't be serious about this! This is all perfect!"

"Nothing about this is what I'd call perfect," Pat stated.

"What would be then, huh?!" Mabel snapped.

"Not this," Lauren added.

"But... but the food!" Mabel pointed to the cowering waiters, "the setting! The music!" she held her hands to the ceiling, "it's all romantic and wonderful!"

"I'm not a romantic person," Lauren puffed.

"Everyone's romantic," Mabel quietly replied, "just not all in the same way."

"Whatever," Pat grumbled.

"Can we go now?" Lauren asked, "or are you going to try attacking us too?"

Mabel turned and looked to each of them. Their eyes only bore resentment. Not a spark of excitement or wonder flooded their gaze. Her heart, so risen and aflutter earlier had fallen to earth and broken upon the cold hard surface of reality. With a sigh, Mabel nodded. "Yeah, you can go."

Without another word, both stood and walked out of sight.

"Ma'am?" the closest waiter to her quietly asked. "Shall we, uh, put all the food into the goodie bags?"

"Yes please," she nodded grimly, her hair falling past her face. The three raced past her, calling to the kitchens in authentic Italian. One briefly popped back out of the door and called to Mabel.

"We'll be charging for the broken chair too." Mabel gave the man a single death glare, and he yelped before retreating back inside.

Taking up the chair recently abandoned by Lauren, Mabel plopped down and placed her head on the table. "What did I do wrong?" she asked the table. In her mind, it had all seemed correct. The last time she had made this attempt, there had been a string of circumstances that lead against her- by creating love, she upset the balance of friendships. In this case, nothing was clicking. Mabel knew in her heart that anyone can love anyone, regardless who they were.

"What am I missing?" she grumbled.

"Didn't work?"

Pulling her face across the table and up, Mabel saw her brother approach, hand sin his pockets. She dignified his question with a loud raspberry.

"They didn't even want to sit at the same table," Mabel groaned, "they only sat down for a minute because I threatened them if they wouldn't."

Dipper snorted. "Sounds like you. Fall in love or else."

"I failed as a match-maker," Mabel mumbled.

His eyes fell onto her darkened expression. "Mabel," he sighed, "Maybe this was one that we couldn't fix. We can only just keep going."

"And what, go burn down the vampire house?" Mabel asked.

Dipper nervously laughed. "No!"

"Dipper!" Soos burst through the door, holding a large water-gun, "just got the best one in town! I love your idea to load it with anointed water so we can-" Soos stared at the twins, one glaring at him and the other glaring at her brother. "Oh. Sorry. Twin moment. Gotcha. I'll uh..." Soos glanced at the staff by the kitchens holding up the bags of food, "take this out to the car. And eat some of it." He snatched the bags and hoisted them out into the night.

Dipper turned back to Mabel. "Okay yeah, plan B is still happening."

"Dipper, we can't just kill the vampires because we didn't do our side of the bargain," Mabel whined, stepping up to him.

"Who said we're killing them? I mean, they're already undead," he shrugged.

"You wouldn't say that if Wendy was concerned," Mabel pointed out. Dipper's face visibly paled.

"We're not going to kill them unless they don't give us the stone," Dipper reassured her.

Mabel pursed her lips. She had made a promise directly to the parents, those desperate, pointy fanged parents who wanted more than anything to just have a son they wanted to be able to relate to. Mabel knew, deep down, Patty was just a confused and upset teen like others she had met. All he needed was someone else he could depend on, like Lauren! If only they could see eye to eye.

Mabel clenched her fist.

Turning to Dipper, she gave him a half-decent smile. "Okay, okay. We'll go. Just let me wrap up here."

"Okay. I'll wait by the car for you," Dipper said, and turned, walking out the front door.

The moment he was gone, Mabel made a dash for the side door, springing across the hardwood with a loud clatter. The door before her had no chance as she burst through it and darted into the darkening woods ahead. "Sorry!" she quietly said as she turned and waved behind her. Dipper may have the mission at heart if he was willing to storm the homes of vampires, but Mabel couldn't let it come to that.

There were equations in her mind not made of numbers that flashed and darted around in her brain, desperate for a solution to why her expected set-up didn't work. She knew romance and the art of romancing. Love was in her blood. It was simple and complicated, terrible and awesome, so cool and soo hot.

So why didn't it work with those two?!

"What did I miss?" she asked herself as she stormed into the woods, stomping ahead of her. Marching up the mountain to find her two targets, Mabel by to re-call the disastrous date. "The food was provided."

_"I can only have blood."_

"Ugh, right," Mabel grumbled to herself as she recalled. "But that was so minor- food schmood. People can have dates without food! Why didn't they like it?" she asked to the dark canopy above. "What was missing that wasn't romantic?"

She sighed, climbing over a large log. There had to be something, something small she overlooked. "It was just great. Anyone would have liked it. What's there not to like?" Mabel questioned, pushing aside thick branches as she climbed higher and higher, finding fog around her. "Even a vampire and..."

Mabel slowed as her brain allowed her words to sink in her mind.

It had been a vampire and, well, not a werewolf, but a skinwalker of sorts. Not a human after all, but two young people of very different types. Something in that was the clue.

_"I'm not a romantic person."_

"Or do we see romance in different ways?" Mabel hypothesized.

Taking another step forward, Mabel heard a loud twig snap from under her foot. She looked down, only to be flung upwards. "TRAP ALERT!" she screamed, soaring upwards in a near slingshot. A mere moment later, something darted from branch to branch, racing closer and closer to her as she swayed on the springy rope while upside down. "Hey! Pat! Lemme down!"

A different voice called out, feminine and sharper. "Watch who you call Pat!"

"Wait, Lauren?" Mabel gasped. True to her guess, it was now the skinwalker who stood upside down to Mabel, looking down at her from the branch of the treetops. "I didn't know you were also into making traps!"

"I'm not!" she hissed at him, looking around, "look, Pat was getting a lot of scares from jumping at people, so I'm stealing his thing! At this rate, I'll be the scariest of the two, and then he'll finally tone down and stop acting like he's the better of the two of us!"

"Uhh, you sure about that?" Mabel asked.

Shrill and blasting the air, a sonic shriek had the two ladies clasp hands around their ears. A huge bat with a wingspan of nearly six feet soared in and swiped at the rope tying Mabel into the air.

"Hey!" Lauren yelled as the Bat soared down to the ground, "that's mine!"

Mabel wouldn't fall, not this time. One branch at a time, she bounded from tree to tree, lowering herself some ten feet at a time. With one last leap, Mabel also landed with a hearty 'thump'. Rising up, she saw the form of the massive bat burst into smoke, and Pat walk towards her.

"Oh, it's you again?" he grumbled, making a half-turn when he recognized Mabel.

"Yup," she said, "but I'm glad to see you couldn't tell it was me just because I have glowy-stick dresses."

With a louder **'whump'**, Lauren landed next to Mabel, and marched towards Pat. "What's with the form?"

Pat snarled and pointed up. "What's with the traps!?"

Simultaneously, they leaned forward and shouted, "I thought that was too beneath you!"

Mabel giggled. "You two are cute." Red flourished in their cheeks. "Aha!" she lifted a finger to the sky, "I knew it!"

"Knew what?" Pat snapped, taking a step away from Lauren, and from Mabel as she approached. "Not more of this love and romance crud again!"

"Sort of," Mabel crossed her arms as she approached, "you see, it's all part of the same problem you both have!"

They both turned to her, staring. In unison, they asked, "come again?"

Mabel grinned. "Well, let's start with the first question I asked myself about you two: Why do you do all this?" she pointed to her foot, where the tight noose of the rope was attached to her ankle. "Traps and attacks? Why scare people?"

"Because it's what get's you respect!" Pat grinned.

"No it isn't!" Mabel laughed. Pat's jaw dropped as she shook her head grinning. "They just make you look paranoid and silly!"

"Can't say that about me, or becoming a huge monster!" Lauren boasted.

"I can!" Mabel pointed to her, and Lauren's puffed out chest deflated, "you're just a fluffy puppy who likes to chase cars too!" Lauren's face grew red hot, and she tightly wove her arms together. "You two are only looking at it at the surface," Mabel explained, "why do you think doing these things get you respect?"

"Why?" Lauren asked, the deep red fading as she gave the question some consideration.

"Because in stories, monsters are feared, and fear is respect," Pat quoted.

"Is it?" Mabel asked them, coming closer. "I know that in movies, people always are afraid of the monster, but in the end, the monster is always beaten and broken. People hurt what they fear," Mabel sighed, "like girls who chase cars, or guys who like certain clothes," Mabel pointed out to the two of them, "or girls who like dresses with glow sticks stitched in them."

"I.. uh... they're..." Pat fumbled at his words, playing with the fabric of his jacket.

Lauren said nothing, instead rubbing her arms, and then very quietly saying, "I liked the glow sticks."

Mabel grinned, and pressed on. "But don't you see, Pat?" she asked the vampire, now walking to him and reaching for his arms. "You already answered the question."

"I did?"

"What you want from doing this? It's not fear." she lowered his hands, and patted his shoulder. "Respect. Fear was just another tool you wanted to use to get to respect. You want to be respect for..."

"...who I am?" he asked, his eyes wide as he stared at Mabel.

"Well, at least that's what I'd want if I thought I didn't have any," Mabel rolled her eyes.

"But my parents try to make me into something I'm not!" Pat shouted suddenly, his voice taught with frustration Mabel had heard him once use earlier that day. "They want me to be some crazy house-vampire that likes the suburbs or something!"

"Hey... me too," Lauren slowly said, looking at Pat.

"You... you two?" he asked.

"Yeah. Mom wanted to live with humans again, and that means whenever we're around them we have to hide our forms and not shape shift," she sighed.

"And I can't talk about how cool it is to fly to anyone anymore," Pat mumbled.

"So guys," Mabel piped in again, "this whole monster thing you've been trying to do was only just a way to break free from your parents forcing you to be something else. You thought you were escaping one stereotype," she waved behind her, to the generalized area of the two mountain homes, "by becoming another!"

Their eyes couldn't possibly grow wider. As once and twice before, they spoke together. "Whoa."

"Look, guys," Mabel sighed, "I'm kinda not the person to ask about this, okay? I don't pretend to be anything I'm not. But my brother did that. He tried to be someone he wasn't for his own reasons and only ended up hurting himself in the end. If you don't want to be something you're not, that's great. Just don't jump to the opposite to fight it- just be _you_. That's the best thing anyone could ask for, really. Because, in the end, that's what makes you respected. That," she pulled out a line of stickers, "and lots of portable decorations."

Pat stared at Mabel, his jaw still dropped. Then, from next to him with a sudden start, Laruen bent over, laughing. Her echoing laughter filled the trees as she began to cough, shaking her head.

"She... really does... have... backups... haaah," she wheezed as Mabel applied two more to her face.

"A-yup! Never hurts to be prepared!" Mabel said.

The vampire finally sighed, his tensely locked shoulders dropping. "I've been stupid," he admitted. "I just thought that if people could see that vampires still were scary, people wouldn't just think they were dumb popular pretty icons."

"Yeah, same, really," Lauren mumbled.

"And I kinda got egged on when we met," Pat shrugged.

"Yeah... same," Lauren said slowly, "because I never met a vampire-"

"-Skinwalker and thought they were really scary, so when we met-" Pat continued.

"-I got the idea I could show how crazy I was by-"

"-one-upping you!" The two declared in unison.

"So in the end," Mabel started, eyeing them, "you decided to start challenging yourself to beat the other?"

"Yeah... kind of competitive, since I have to do better than my big brother," Lauren sighed.

"I just don't like losing," Pat smiled timidly.

"Instead of coming to each other for, I don't know, to talk or stuff?" Mabel inquired.

As if hearing the concept for the first time, the two turned and stared at one another. A simple stare slowly became a long, soul-gazing study. A new life washed into their hearts and minds, and they truly saw each other standing there for the first time. Pat slowly reached his hand out, barely getting it out to past his side. Lauren came the rest of the way, grasping his hand and pulling it to the center.

Mabel bellowed into the sky. "MASTER-LEVEL MATCHMAKER!" As the two jumped a foot in the air at her outcries, Mabel ran over, grabbed a sticker and slapped it on their hands. "You may now kiss the bride!" Mabel declared.

"We're not married!" Pat laughed.

"On contraire," Mabel pointed to the sticker, which was a pair of wolves holding hands, with the title of 'Howly Matrimony'.

Pat burst out laughing, pulling away his hand from Lauren, which took the sticker with him. The skinwalker snickered and watched him laugh for a moment. "He's kind of handsome now that he smiles," she admitted to Mabel.

"Mmmhmm. I was wondering if I just needed to have you guys in your own preferred settings for the kind Romance you needed. Took me a while, but spooky woods seems more your style," Mabel explained. Lauren smiled and nodded.

"MABEL!"

From the bushes, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos all appeared, holding water guns and water balloons, and various holy symbols strapped to small belts around their forms.

"We got your back!" Dipper shouted, 'cocking' his soaker gun in his hands.

"Beat you to the punch," Mabel grinned as Pat and Lauren nervously stared at the religious symbols. "Problem solved."

"Wait... what?" Dipper asked, his action-ready pose falling limp, "Mabel, it's been ten minutes since they left the restaurant! You mean to say you came up here-"

"Yup," Mabel nodded.

"-found them and talked to them without incident-"

"Mmhmm."

"And got them to settle with one another all in ten minutes?" Dipper gasped.

"I am truly a Disciple of the Love god," Mabel smirked.

It wasn't long before the Edwardsons spotted their son walking back to them, a sheepish smile to his face and a tiny apology for his behavior. With the help of Mabel, he was able to explain his actions to the best of his ability, and better yet, how much he just wanted to feel he was himself.

"Don't worry," Elizabeth had said to him, "we all go through that phase. And we'll keep in mind that for now on, sweety."

"Yes," Peter had chuckled, finding solace that he could speak to his son without argument again, "there are worse things you could do. Date that girl from across the street, for example?"

The laughing father had been less pleased when his son quickly came forward with the news that he and Lauren, the girl from 'across the street' would be dating. The settled tension started to again bubble when Mabel rapidly reminded the parents of her pay and due- the small marble sized stone.

"Thanks!" she said as it was gingerly placed in her hands. "Good luck, Pat!" she grinned as she made a hasty one-eighty with Dipper and stormed out of the house. He winked back at Dipper and her, turning to hear the lecture about how dating a shape-shifter was an irresponsible thing. No sooner had the door closed behind them than the twins sighed.

"Man, thank god mom and dad don't really know what goes during the summer," Mabel admitted, staring to walk away from the door. "Switching genders? Becoming a werewolf! Hah. Crazy."

"Well, not like I didn't try," Dipper shrugged.

"Oh yeah, I remember that sorta. They thought you were going crazy for a while, didn't they?" Mabel grinned at him.

"A.D.H.D. It's not going crazy," Dipper defended himself, "and what's more, I didn't have it. I'd say you had it, but then I'd be doing a disfavor for the nine other weird mental conditions you have."

"Ha-ha, super funny, too bad I rock the match-making genius!" Mabel stuck her tongue out at Dipper, who rolled his eyes.

He pushed her head away with a gentle shove. "Yeah, yeah, okay; love won again. C'mon, doofus," he told her, "we got what we came here for. Zander'll want to send us somewhere else next. Let's get back into Oregon."

"We can leave Spoons now?" Mabel asked as the twins started walking down from the mountain, through the mists together. "Thank Moses. We need to bail town, anyway."

"Oh. Any reason why?" Dipper asked.

Mabel nervously tapped her fingers together. "No reason. At least none that incriminates Soos or myself in anyway."

"Oh," Dipper chuckled as he walked with his sister. A short moment later, he paused. "Wait. What?"

* * *

Lying in the hospital bed, the weak and frail cashier to 'General Spoons', one Joseph Beekman, stared at the far wall. He had woken up not half an hour earlier, with his mind slowly recovering. Memories of the past day had totally been wiped from his head, but he had been told his reasoning for being in the Greater Spoons Hospital Wing was due to a verbal assault which triggered him to enter a seizure.

His family had visited him only a few minutes ago, with the intent on cheering him up. So, when they had left to 'check up on something', he awaited in his room, uncertain to their intent.

So far he hadn't been able to say anything yet, only move gently and mumble sounds to his best.

Finally, the doors in his room burst open, and his mother raced in. Her eyes were wide with excitement as she called to him.

"Guess what Joe?" she asked, "we got the best we could!"

"Mmm," he nodded.

"C'mon in guys!" she waved, as the rest of his family rushed into the room. Trailing behind was the town mascot, the infamous 'Spoonman'.

Instantly, Joseph's body twitched. Memories started flooding back. He began to shake his head left and right. He needed to tell them to stop. The buzzing in his head was growing.

"Spoonman!" Josephs' dad chanted.

The man in the mascot, his face painted silver to match the spoon costume he wore, cheered. "Come together with your hands!" he shouted, clapping before him.

With every ounce of strength he had, Joseph muttered, "save me."

His mom cheered with the 'Spoonman'. "I'm together with your plan!"

His body was beginning to tense up again. Joseph, with the rage of his family daring to bring yet another pun to his recovery was finally able to break from his tightened muscles and scream. "SAVE ME!"

Although he was now totally ignored. His family only heard the rhythm and dance of the Spoonman. Joe was alone now. He slowly surrendered to the curse of living in the town named Spoons, lying back into the bed his body knew to be comforting, his mind only left blank. He was stuck here. Stuck in the town named 'Spoons'.

At least it wasn't a town named Forks.

* * *

HA! Zinger!

And so episode 1 is done. I know a lot of people were begging for a lighter tone switch after the heaviness of the end of Season 2, and I would agree with them. I can only hope I did them proud with these past two chapters. Making a comedy/light parody was difficult as it was hard, and I hope it paid off.

But next episode, we get a little feely. You those people Mabel and Dipper briefly mentioned at the end of this story? Those people we met in the VERY BEGINNING OF THE SERIES? We're going to be seeing them very soon. Along with a certain jerk who can't stop hunting the pines. Be prepared for excitement and drama again, as well as Soos and Wendy meeting the family. (yay Wendy ;3)

Bonus points for those of you who can pinpoint where exactly in this chapter I used, word for word, song lyrics for dialogue.

(A huge pair of spoons break out of the earth and smash into EZB, crushing him into a curved pancake before dragging him back under the dirt as the JAWS theme plays.)

* * *

**Zogvimzgrev grgovh rmxofwvw "Nrwmrtsg Hkzipovh", "Nzyvo EH Yvoov", zmw "Hgroo Yvggvi Gszm Gdrortsg."**

**-And-**

**Cnkt ck gxk mobkt znk zgyq zu ju znk osvuyyohrk, cnoin xugj ju ck zgqk? Znk Nomnxugj rkgjy zu g hkzzkx zusuxxuc, haz znk rucxugj sge zgqk ay zu zusuxxuc ozykrl.**


	67. The Parents Traps: Part 1

For the few with the power and riches to afford luxury condos within the largest of cities, the sights were the least of their concerns. Many times, the purchasing, or usage, of such condos were mere showings of power and control within a city. "Yes, I chose to live here, in this one city," was a great message to populace who would doubt public figures of their loyalty.

Neither power nor a message was required to the purchasing of the top floor in the 'Madison', a royally affluent apartment in the center of Los Angeles. It was strategy, it was easy, and it was comfortable. Seats were cushioned, and service wonderful, and the food grand.

To Alvis Leuthar, the advising of a 'temporary base of operations' was an easy sell. Kinley had little interest it seemed in the regards of permanent fixtures, and so as long as Alvis threw to him a reason, truthful or not, the younger man gave the okay to spend the money. And Avlis, according to his figures, had billions more to use up before he would even bat an eye.

He sat before the largest of the windows, holding a glass of Champaign in his hands. This was what success felt like. Having the world below him, and all the money at his fingertips. All he had to do was get the okay from a fire-tempered brat of a 'boss' he had. Still, he appreciated the ease of having someone so seemingly direct that he hadn't needed to worry about the man's second thoughts; Graupner only ever gave himself one, and then he listened to it.

Easiest boss to work under.

From behind, a door craned open and slammed shut. Alvis turned and lowered his glass hastily. He knew the sound of those rapid footsteps from a pair of dirty boots. The flutter of torn rags announced the spit-fire that was Graupner Kinley.

Rubbing his eyepatch with a scowl, Graupner nodded to him once. "R-Report."

Alvis gently nodded, and lifted a folder aside a nearby glass table. Clearing his throat quietly, Alvis spoke. "The liquidation is a success. While there was, naturally, resistance across the country, and we have several larger brands attempting to sue us, any public attempts at discrediting the remains of our finances are beyond help. There is simply nothing more anyone can do."

"And th-the ransoms?" Graupner asked, eyeing the glass of alcohol on the table.

"Three out of the five families instantly came through. The other two are harder to convince it seems, but we're more than willing to be patient for millions more to throw into our savings," Alvis grinned.

"C-C-Cut off one finger, and m-mail it t-to them," Graupner suggested, approaching the table and lifting the glass to his inspection.

"I'd advise patience," Alvis swallowed, nervously tapping the manila folder the many files were kept in.

"Patience," Graupner sneered. "I hate th-that word."

"The less attention we draw, the better," Alvis said bluntly. "Dismembering family fathers isn't what we need for our covert attempts."

"Fine," Graupner shook his head, and then drowned the liquid in one swift gulp. With a sigh, he then grumbled, and tossed the glass over his shoulder, shattering it across the hard stone.

"To your taste, I imagine?" Alvis grinned. Graupner instead stared, his one eye fixed on his 'apprentice'. Something in the stare seemed _envious_, and it scared Alvis more than Graupner's rage. The way the younger man just stood and watched Alvis, with that deep, sunken eye and the paling face, it made it seemed like Alvis had something else, something Graupner wanted. After all, as far as the former clerk knew, what Kinley sought after, he gained. He cleared his throat and continued. "I wanted to inform you as well that we have managed to maintain the private security forces that the corporation used."

"G-Good," Graupner nodded, "I hope th-they'll be enough. After c-c-combing the woods for those b-brats, we couldn't find a th-thing. More men will g-get this task done sooner."

Alvis nodded. Graupner turned, his hands sliding across the table, letting his skin feel the smooth texture. "Why _are_ we hunting children?" Alvis asked, his curiosity eating at him.

"What?" Graupner asked off-handedly.

"Dipper and Mabel Pines," Alvis pulled his arms behind him, "I saw them in Steindorfs notes some month ago. You shouted 'Pines', two days ago. You said you're-"

"Yes, yes," Graupner nodded, staring into the clean, reflective glass, "I'm after t-twins." Before Alvis could ask again, Graupner spun to him with a stomp. "They have a b-bad habit of g-g-getting in my way."

"Ah," Alvis smiled and tilted his head forward, "competition."

"No!" Graupner snarled. Alvis lowered his head further, aware he had angered him. "they are NOT my c-competition! They're fodder now! And that's all they'll ever b-be," Graupner said, closing his eyes and holding a hand to his eye-patch.

Alvis held his tongue. He knew more than enough to speak up. The floor belonged to Graupner, and he would respect that power. As predicted, Graupner slowly calmed down, pushing his blond hair out of his eye and behind his ear.

"I have a new t-task for you," the Warlock stated, leaving his reflection on the table to face Alvis, who lifted his head.

"Of course," Alvis said pleasantly, withholding his excitement. He knew why the kid had _really_ come. His half of the bargain was going to begin.

With a snap of his finger, the Warlock made appear in the blink of an eye a collection of books large enough to cover the entire glass table. Alvis gasped and stepped closer.

"Magic," he muttered to himself, a grin coming to his face.

"Th-These are t-texts on arcana," Graupner explained, "or as you'd c-call it, magic."

"I'm to read them?" Alvis asked, a sly grin coming to.

"All of th-them. I want you to b-b-be able to qu-quote anything that I ask," Graupner Kinley informed him. The former clerk nodded, and pulled out a chair from the table.

"I can get started now," he said.

"Yeah, you d-do that. I've g-got a family to exploit. G-G-Got to see if I can't d-draw th-them to me," The Warlock murmured to himself as he spun around. Once more he paused, staring at the open bottle of Champaign. Alvis watched carefully, taking in the peculiar habit. After a moment, Graupner noticed the stares, and huffed, and made to the door.

Once the door was closer, Alvus chuckled. Assured in his studying capabilities, he reached forward and pulled open the first book.

* * *

"You mean to tell me that they were just living up on the mountain like any other joe schmoe?" a voice crackled through the phone.

"Yeah! They gave us tea, and I was a grand match-maker, and there was also a family of shape-shifters who we hooked the son of the family up with their daughter, and-"

The laughing was audible from the phone.

They were back to Boring, Oregon. In the same hotel that Zander had purchased for them not two days ago, the twins, Wendy, and Soos found themselves back inside. Sitting on the bed was Wendy, who lazily rolled the marble sized stone between her fingers. Soos sat on the floor with Waddles the pig, who found most of the sheets edible thus far.

Dipper stood up, directly watching Mabel talk on his phone. She was laying belly down on the bed, holding the phone out before her as she wiggled her legs up and down. Dipper nearly scowled: something about Mabel acting like Zander was the cool person he had pretended to be made him grind his teeth.

"Mabel, could you keep to the point please?" Dipper muttered.

"But he should hear about the part where I bought out an entire-" Mabel wined.

"I'd love to hear the story Mabel," the voice on the phone called back, "but we should keep it business for now. It does sound like you had a wild ride."

"Where you expecting vampires and shapeshifters up there?" Dipper demanded.

"Honestly, there's no telling what's to be expected anymore," Zander's tone became quiet as he thought aloud, "my predictions did anticipate long-dormant families of 'monsters' to stat returning, but two at the same time is pretty... fast."

"Yeah, so we'd better keep on moving," Dipper furthered, "we need the next place."

"Don't worry," Zander said, "I've got it under control."

"Okay, so?" Dipper asked, "where next?" A pause fell over the conversation. Wendy and Soos both picked up on the pause, and tuned their focus to Dipper and Mabel. "Zander, where is the next place? You know where we're going next, right?"

"Yes," Zander sighed, "but I can't have you do anything yet."

"Wait, why not?" Wendy said, pocketing the stone in her jeans.

"Yeah, I was under the impression we rocked that last one. Mystery dudes, assemble!" Soos declared proudly.

"I'm sure you did," Zander assured them, "or Mabel wouldn't sound so chipper. Or maybe she would anyway. Hm."

"I'm a ball of cinnamon and positivity packaged in a holiday cheer tin," Mabel giggled.

"So then why aren't you telling us?" Dipper bit out, tired of being led.

A sigh returned over from the phone. "There's a TV in that room that looks like it's never worked in it's life," Zander said. Mabel peered past Dipper as he turned and looked to the dusty old piece of unloved tech. "Turn it on to channel one-one-seven-six. That'll get you onto the news channel I'm watching now."

His confusion piqued with the possibility of answers, Dipper did as he was suggested. Turning to the television, he leaned down and flicked the switch. With a click and loud whirr, the television breathed electrical life into the screen- diluted of color and filled with static.

"I think that TV outdated my dad," Wendy mumbled.

"Shh! The movie is playing," Soos hissed from the floor. Wendy glanced to him, but said nothing as she shook her head.

The television crackled and hummed as Dipper found a panel button and punched in the numbers. As the television adjusted the correct source, the four shimmied closer, watching as the colors changed into a coherent picture. Finally, the image was complete, and sound followed.

"-still," an older man with balding grey hair asked a young, spritely news-anchor, "we should be asking why, not just how. It's a miracle that such a large company as Steindorf and Co has been able to dissolve in just three days-"

"What?!" Dipper gasped, stepping closer to the television.

"-but the watch on the matter is off. We need to be wondering why this was done, not just how. The entire stocks of the-" the man continued, but Mabel groaned.

"Ugggh! Boring," Mabel whined, rolling to the side and plopping to the ground next to Waddles.

"You watching it?" the voice from the phone asked. Dipper hummed, his eyes glued onto the television set. "This is a problem."

"How?" Dipper asked, "if Steindorf and Co is gone, that means that whatever resources Graupner could have gotten is all gone."

"Unless he liquidated to his own account," Soos shrugged. The other two turned to him. "What?" he asked, an eye cocked.

"Soos is right," Zander confirmed, "Graupner is somehow behind the total breakdown of that multi-billion dollar corporation. We're talking so much money you could buy certain countries with it. And he has it all under his belt now," Zander groaned from across the phone.

"So our main villain has a bunch of money now," Wendy grumbled.

"Not just a bunch," Zander corrected.

"Too much," Wendy added.

"More like it," Zander said.

"Great. Why is he doing it?" Dipper asked, turning the TV off and looking back to the phone in his hand, "wouldn't it be better for him to leave the company standing so he can make money still?" he asked.

"You know him better than that," Zander calmly said. "What do you think?"

Dipper blinked. Recalling the times he had met and spoken to the filth of a human being, now undead creature, named Graupner Kinley, Dipper did now know a thing or two about him. He was stubborn, cruel, confident, and...

"Impatient," Dipper nodded.

"Yes," Zander nodded, "whatever his plan is, he's going to be spending money rapidly. You want to know the scary part though?" Zander added. Dipper blinked, turning and looking to Soos and Wendy. Mabel, from the floor, stared up at them, her mouth hung open. "I have no idea what his plans are."

"You're lying," Dipper gasped.

"Not this time," Zander sighed.

"But you always know stuff!" Soos proclaimed, "like how to handle girls when you're not interested but they are!"

"Among other things," Wendy half-heartedly agreed.

"Graupner is a new player in the game of magical intrigue I've been part of with Omir for years," Zander admitted, "his end goals are clearly different than Omir's. He's in it for something soon and is going at it with more steam than his master ever tried. If I had to guess," Zander sighed, "he's trying to make his own self-run organization for his personal needs."

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"I don't know. And I intend to find out a.s.a.p. But first," Zander cleared his throat, "you all need to stay on the low. The room you're at should be okay, but right now, I've got the feeling Kinley will be on the lookout for you."

"Wait, we're not just going to stay cooped up here," Wendy stated.

"Why not?" Zander inquired.

"Because it stinks!" Wendy wined.

"Aww, sorry, that may have been me earlier," Soos rubbed the back of his head, "kind of got nervous thinking about the future earlier, and that got me some bad gas."

"Wendy," the voice from the phone answered, drawing attention back, "I know you're not actually bothered by smells," Zander said, "taste is one of those things you've started to lose. Smells go away too."

The three whipped to Wendy, who's cheeks went crimson. Her entire face grew hot as her eyes shot wide and she whipped around to the others.

"Wait... you... didn't tell them?" Zander's voice got quieter. "Oh... Wendy, I'm sorry," he said, a troubled sincerity in his tone. "I'll... call you guys back, okay? Just stay put for now, and don't draw attention. I'll be in touch."

With a mechanical click, the phone line was cut and the four were left only with the sounds of the chewing pig as Waddles gnawed at more bed sheets. Wendy's eyes fell to the floor as she clasped her own wrist, gulping quietly. The tension in the air thickened further as she stood in the middle, saying nothing.

"You... you're losing your taste?" Dipper asked. Her eyes turned away and she pushed forward, bumping against Dipper and shoving her way to the door. Before he could turn and see her, the door was open and closed.

"Does that mean she _can't_ tell when I fart?" Soos asked.

"Soos," Mabel grumbled.

"Sorry," he shrugged, "just popped into my head."

Dipper made for the door and wrenched it open, spilling the late-morning light into sight before he closed the door behind him as he stepped out. Wendy wasn't directly before him. Instead he turned and saw, just over by the outdoor stairs, Wendy as she sat and slid her legs under the metal railing, trailing her feet into the air as they dangled above the second floor.

Slowly he made his approach, pondering the best thing to say. It was certainly a hard thing to pretend he was good at- talking to people like this. Making someone see sense? Yeah, he was great. Explaining the right choice based on morality? Also decent at. Comfort and understanding? That was more of a 'Mabel' thing.

Still, he had to try. He stepped closer, not trembling, but shaky as he stepped behind her.

But what to say?

"I started losing taste this spring," Wendy mumbled. Dipper's fearful internal thoughts flashed away like vapor as he pulled all attention onto her. "Everyone once in a while, up until then, I would try to eat something. Drink. You know," Wendy shrugged as she spoke to Dipper while facing away, "normal human stuff. Maybe one day it would feel good."

"It never did," Dipper answered for her.

"I would just get these... pains," Wendy looked over her shoulder, grimacing, "these crazy, deep tears in my body. I never actually was hurt, I think, but I really felt injured when I tried to eat. Still, sometimes just tasting things would be enough for me to try. Then... in march, I tried again. Stole a piece of pizza. I... I know I ate it, because I felt horrible afterwards, but I swear I tasted nothing."

"Zander was right about you?" Dipper asked.

Wendy shrugged. "It doesn't take much to be right about me," she said, turning away, "I'm not sure I even know myself much more man."

Dipper nodded. His feet carried him forward, and slowly he came to sit next to her. After a moment of studying the calm woods ahead, Dipper dared a quick look to her. Those eyes, as he had seen them many times, shone a radiant exhaustion. She never looked back to him.

Then she snorted. "You're staring," she muttered with a grin.

"Sorry," Dipper whipped his head away, and with a loud clatter, slapped the side of his temple against the metal frame of the railing. "Ow!" he grumbled, pulling his feet back as he clutched his head. "Dang it," he moaned.

"Dude, you okay?" she asked, snickering quietly as she pulled herself next to him.

"Yeah, just feeling like my head is a cracked egg," Dipper mumbled, rubbing his temple.

"Here," Wendy raised him up by the shoulders, having him sit up. Her hands were suddenly next to him, and at the base of his neck. Dipper felt the all-empowering need to gulp. His throat tightened out of a fear, yet not for his life. Then the touch of her fingertips sent shivers down his spine. "Hold still," she said, and rubbed a muscle Dipper never knew he had- somewhere deep under his chin and within his jaw.

It felt painful, her strong fingers pressing into the muscles that held his head together. He turned, ready to ask her to stop. Then those green eyes met his brown, and he found the resistance to ask otherwise drain away. Instead he chose to watch her as she massaged his neck.

At least until he realized that his head was feeling remarkable light and clear. Then he blinked and felt his still throbbing bruise. With a wince, he still felt the pain, but it was... lessened.

"What was that?" Dipper asked her.

"We got these crazy little pinpoints on our body dude," Wendy grinned as she massaged his neck, "that are like super sensitive and stuff. They get all messed up and tensed, and we get stiff when we don't relax them a bit. Just gotta apply a little pressure," she said, looking into his jaw, "and then relax."

"Relaxing all right," Dipper sighed as he grinned, letting the breath escape his lips.

Still in his daze, Dipper hardly realized that Wendy's hands flew back faster than lightning. When he did, he opened his eyes and blinked. The way he had spoken had been... odd. If he thought Wendy had blushed earlier when Zander spilled the beans on her status, Dipper was sure he could cook an egg on his face.

Nothing was said as the two stared at one another. Had Dipper... done something inappropriate? Or had Wendy gone too far? Dipper wasn't sure what to think anymore- all he could do was watch and wait for her to make a move. His mind was a buzzing numbness, even if he felt like the massage had helped.

Then something in his pocket buzzed.

Glancing away and down, he stood up hastily, removing the phone from his pants. It only took a quick glance to realize who was trying to reach him.

"Mom," he gasped. Glancing quickly down to Wendy, ensuring that he wasn't just leaving her behind, Dipper marched back to the room as he opened the older flip phone. "Hey mom," he answered as Wendy stood and quietly followed behind him.

"Sweety!" the voice cried from the phone in exasperation, and Dipper rolled his eyes. She had only said one thing and already she was exaggerating. "You've barely called or texted since June!"

"Sorry," Dipper said, opening the door and walking in, "Mabel and I have been really busy."

"Been catching up and bonding?" his mom asked.

He thought back to the previous summer. Of the insane number of things that they had done, catching up and bonding was among the first. As he looked around in the room and his eyes fell onto Mabel, he smiled and said, "Of course, mom."

Mabel shot up like a rocket. Mabel soared over to Dipper like a rocket. Unlike a rocket, she instead stole the phone from him, pressed the speaker button, and shouted into the phone. "MOM! MOOOM!" Mabel roared as she jumped up and down, "Oh my god, it's been forever! Mom how are youuuu?!"

"Mabel, are you hopping around again?" the now loud voice called about as Mabel cackled while jumping. "Stand still, I can't hear much when you're doing that."

With a visual restraint, Mabel landed and remained standing. "Fine, okay, boring normal phone chat. Pffft, whatev," she blew a raspberry.

"Mom, how are you?" Dipper tried again, "we're sorry, but being up in town really made us busy."

"Oh?" their mother's voice echoed back.

"Yeah!" Mabel nodded, "we've become something of a super-hero duo and squad with our friends, Wendy and Soos!" Mabel declared, "saving the day over and over again."

"Huh. So, which town are you talking about?" their mother's voice asked.

The twins looked to one another, their excitement stalled. "Uh, Gravity Falls?" Mabel laughed.

"Oh. I don't remember that one," their mom quickly said.

The air in the room must have dropped several degrees. While Soos and Wendy stared at the twins, uncertain to what was going on, the twins knew, absolutely _knew_ that their mom would know about the town. They hadn't stopped talking about it for the first week while school started up.

"Anyway, you two are camping up with friends?" their mom asked, "or did you meet them after you went up together?"

"Mom," Dipper ignored her question, "do... you do remember what happened to Grunkle Stan?"

"Who?" she asked.

"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel cried, "the grumpy old miserly man who we love so much that no matter how much of a jerk he is some times we always come back to him and laugh," Mabel declared, "the one who likes that one show you do too!" Their mom audibly hummed on the phone.

"Doesn't... ring a bell?" she asked. Dipper and Mabel gawked at one another.

"Mom, you thought Dipper and I would just sit in the woods alone for a whole summer!?" Mabel asked incredulously.

"I don't know," their mom sighed, "when I was your age that was a _thing_, guys. We liked being in the woods for a summer. It was fun."

"Well," Mabel smirked, "some of it was fun."

Dipper frowned. "Mom, if you thought we were camping all this time, why did you call?" Dipper asked. "My phone would have died weeks ago. Not to mention that I remember having the conversation with you about Grunkle Stan."

"Grunkle?" she laughed.

"Well, Stan was our great uncle?" Dipper reminded her.

"That's perfect. Grunkle. I love it. I'm going to need to ask-"

"Mom, wait a second," Dipper cut in, and held a hand to the speaker by Mabel's palm. Looking to his sister, Dipper spoke rapidly. "She doesn't even remember Grunkle Stan, let alone the town."

"Well, the ranger dude didn't," Mabel replied.

"That's because he was standing and working in the space that Gravity Falls would have occupied had it not been all removed and stuff," Dipper explained. "But this is different- she has no idea what we're talking about."

"Why?" Soos piped in.

Dipper half-turned, eyeing the man before him. He pondered theories and concepts that could have fit in his mind, and yet nothing seemed solid. As he ran loops in his skull with no sound answer in sight, he sighed. "I don't know. If history was changed so that Gravity Falls never existed, then you and Wendy may not have ever been born, and then couldn't be here now," Dipper pointed out.

"Ugh," Wendy shuddered," man, that's not cool to think about. Gives me the creeps."

"But what's more, we all remember where it should be, who lived there, how long it's been there... if it was erased from reality," Dipper postulated, asking about the room, "wouldn't everyone in reality forget it ever existed? And if that's true, why do _we_ know it exists?" Dipper furthered.

From the phone, their mother's voice called in again. "Uh, I think I'm missing a conversation on the other end. You two talking to someone?"

"Friends," Dipper bluntly said.

"Oh, good for you!" their mom laughed. "Hi friends! Don't mind the weird birthmark on Dipper's forehead- I swear his father and I never burned it in. Entirely natural."

Soos nodded thoughtfully as Wendy's mouth fell open. The handiman hummed and spoke up, "Good to hear, really. Confirmation about that stuff always puts a dude at ease."

"So, kids," their mom spoke up, "I know you've been having fun out, but I need you two to consider coming home for a bit, okay?"

"Why?" Mabel asked, "we are kind of in the middle of saving the world."

"That's cute," their mom snickered, "you two still play games together."

"Uh, not exactly the..." Dipper sighed and pushed past her statement, "mom, why do you need to see us?"

"Well, some people came by looking for you," she sighed, "looked very official."

Dipper groaned. "Oh no. Did they have any, uh, badges with falcons on them?"

"Wait, they have falcons?" their mom gasped. "I would have _loved_ that! I was too busy noticing how muscular they were!"

"Mom," Mabel snickered, "tone down the flirty!"

"Don't scold your mother," she playfully snapped back. "But these four men, all in suits," as she said this, Dipper grumbled, "said that they were looking for Dipper and Mabel Pines."

"Oh boy," Soos sighed. "Last thing we need is for those crazy government dudes to come running back."

"Mom, did they flash any government badges?" Dipper inquired.

"Nah. They said something involving _something_ that happened a few weeks ago in this... wait, they said Gravity Falls, I think," their mom paused. "Didn't you say you were nearby a town with that name? In Oregon, right?"

The four stared at the phone. The men in the government were well informed men of precision and operation. It didn't stand without reason that they may have stopped by to look for the twins for something, but...

Dipper's mind reeled as dots connected. The agents in the government had been brainwashed. They had no reason to come after the twins, and even if they did, they would have been able to access the family records and know something: the twins were currently registered as living with separate households. Then the agents coming to one house for both twins wouldn't make sense...

Unless these men weren't those Agents from three years ago. These were others. Dipper's jaw tightened again as an answer slowly slipped into view in his mind. There was someone who they had just discovered with the power to pay thugs to dress up and go where he pleased.

With a dry throat, Dipper and Mabel both muttered, "Graupner."

"Sorry?" their mom asked.

Dipper snatched the phone from Mabel. She did not let go, but he held it to his face. "Mom, listen carefully okay? Those men are not good people. Don't talk to them again. If they come back, just call the police and hide or run away! They're not going to help us or you with anything. Just stay away from 'em!"

"Whoa," Their mom muttered, "did I say something to set off the paranoid alert?"

"Mom-" Dipper ground his teeth together, but then Mabel slid next to him, slapping her cheeks next to his as she spoke into the phone now.

"Mom, Dipper isn't kidding or paranoid!" she shouted.

"...Mabel?" their mom gasped.

"Stay away from those jerks, and don't be fooled by their big muscles or anything they say," Mabel warned her. "I mean, I fought 'em before anyway, and they're not that tough. But more importantly, they could hurt you!"

"But- what- how- what is going on?" their mom spluttered.

Dipper made the decision before he knew he had. "Stay in the house and away from them: we're coming to get you out of there and somewhere safe, okay?" Dipper said, "and don't trust them! Trust no one! We're coming mom!" Dipper said, and slapped his phone closed and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Wait," Mabel blinked, "we're going?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded firmly.

"So, not to be that guy," Soos nervously poked his fingers together, "but, uh, Zander was kind of specific when he said we should stay put."

"I'm all for going out and moving around again, before I go stir crazy in this place," Wendy added, "but I missed the part we figured out that something is happening to your mom."

"Steindorf had a personal security force," Dipper exclaimed as he began to stuff his shoes back on, "of men in suits who could pull off fancy and dressed, but were really just a bunch of thugs."

"Oh. That makes more sense," Wendy nodded.

"Wait, but Zander said-" Mabel added.

"Mabel," Dipper grabbed her arms, looking her dead in the eye, "Zander isn't our boss. He said he's helping us, and wants to look out for us. Sure, even if we totally, one-hundred percent believed that," Dipper said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes, "we have to look out for our family!"

Mabel pursed her lips. Conflict read easily in her stare as she mentally debated herself against Dipper's words. "But what if Zander-"

"Dawg," Soos cut in, drawing the three to glance to him, "let's do it."

"Wait, really?" Dipper blinked, loosening his grip on Mabel.

"Hey, you guys are sort of my family. Miss Pines," Soos shrugged, "she's an extended mom since you two are sort of my extended younger siblings, and Wendy is sort of my extended distant cousin."

"Which... really just means nothing, Soos," Wendy chuckled.

"No! It means we're distantly extended-ly related," Soos corrected her.

"But that mean's you'll help?" Dipper gasped.

"Count me in," Soos nodded, adjusting the placement of his cap. "You've helped me out with my family a few times. How can I say no to my mystery gang?"

Dipper's grin stretched next to his ears. "Soos, I take back every single mean thing I've said about you- you're amazing," he said. He whipped to Wendy, that grin subsiding as he contemplated his earlier experience with her. "Wendy?" he tried.

To his nervous question, she winked. "Of course I'm in. You'd do the same," she reminded him.

Dipper grinned, feeling a tad guilty in his deep recesses as he remembered that he was nearly willing to accuse her father of attempted murder once. Still, her warm smile was enough to chase the demons of the past away. With that great back-up, Dipper finally turned to his sister.

"Don't even say it," Mabel pushed a hand into his face. "Because we're doing it. But I'm going to leave a text message to Zander once we're there and got mom, okay?"

Dipper sighed. "Then it's settled. We're getting our mom. We're going to... California," Dipper said, his flair for dramatic statements not entirely rusty.

"Can we stop and get more snacks on the way? That's kind of a long drive, and a guy can't get hungry before dramatic encounters," Soos asked.

After a brief stop for snacks, the squad was back on the road. Driving south for hours was no easy thing, esepcially when the journey meant... danger. This wouldn't have been the first of these kinds of trips for the twins, but for Soos and Wendy? Oh yeah, they were worried.

Silence had fallen upon them all. Wendy and Dipper sat in the car, staring ahead with a doom lingering in their minds. Waddles and Soos silently chewed on the insides of their cheeks, trying to bite away at the worry resting in their hearts. Mabel gritted her teeth, unsure if they would be too late. The tense atmosphere of the three vehicles never ceased, even as they crossed the border and entered California. They, after all, still had hours to go.

Entering the suburban neighborhoods of Citrus Heights in Sacramento, the two cars following the motorcycle slowly came to a step just two streets away from their mother's home. Mabel slowly slid to a stop next to a public park, and quickly jumped off the bike and ran to a tree, where from her past experience, she could climb and see her house.

"Mabel," Dipper hissed as she climbed the tree and he stepped out, "come down! Someone could see us."

"Scouting," she waved him away as she rose up.

"Man," Wendy looked around, and then eyed the twins, "how come you guys even wanted to stay in our neighborhood?"

"What'd you mean?" Dipper asked as Soos walked over, leaving a nervous Waddles in the car.

"I mean, uh," Wendy pocketed her hands. "This is a really nice neighborhood dude."

"Oh. Is it?" Dipper spun around, observing the palm trees and temperate climate. "Huh. I mean, I guess."

"I didn't know I could mooch money off you two," Wendy sneered, "I got rich friends now."

"That's Pacifica you're thinking about," Dipper sighed, and turned back to the tree.

"So, is your sister communing with the squirrels?" Soos asked, "I hear they have a king who lives in California."

"She's getting a look at our house. My mom has this one huge tree that gives our house away, and if you spot it, you can see the house and the backyard," Dipper explained, staring up at Mabel as she climbed further up. "Anything?" Dipper called.

"It's been a while!" she called back down. "I'm remembering which way-"

"That way," Dipper pointed ahead. Mabel spun down, and with his direction, she poked her head through the leafs.

"Well, at least we'll have a warning in case of anything ahead," Soos noted, "good idea."

"We have to think safely," Dipper reminded them, "anything and anyone could be an enemy and could try to attack us. And I really mean anyone."

As he said this, an elderly man walked by. "Good morning, Dipper."

"Morning, Mister Himmerfield," Dipper casually said back as the hunched over figure stumbled past. "Like I said, got to be careful."

"Totally agreed," Soos nodded as he stepped aside for the elderly gentlemen.

"Mabel!" Dipper called up the tree, "see anything?"

Mabel, inside the tree, had climbed into a small perch, and precariously balanced herself atop the thinning branches to best her view. Past the more thick broad-leafed trees and the palms, she could see her mother's home. The tall metasequoia tree stood as the beacon to Mabel's senses, and finally she found the backyard. Focusing on the small movement she could see, her heart trembled.

A broad man with thick shoulders stood watch in the back yard, his hands at his side as he casually glanced around.

"Uh oh," Mabel gulped, and turned towards the front street. There, in an unlabeled black panel van, she could see dark figures watching the street. "Double uh-oh. Dang it Dipper," she grumbled as she started to climb down, "just had to be right again. 'Let's stop down the street- just in case. Pfft." Mabel made her rapid descent, jumping down from branch to branch. With a loud thump as she jumped ten feet onto the ground, she stood to the three, "we're too late."

"Bad guys are here?" Dipper gasped and Mabel nodded. "Damn it!" he growled, clawing his hands through his hair, brushing his forehead into view. "What now? They could have mom taken away and waiting for us?"

"You're right," Soos nodded, "as the dude put in charge of protecting you all, I am here to remind you of the danger. But we totally are going to help your mom still."

"Well, glad that hasn't changed," Mabel grinned.

"As the oldest here, I should provide consent," Soos explained.

"So, we need to figure out if your mom is there?" Wendy asked.

"And rescue her!" Mabel answered.

"But how?" Dipper grumbled. "It's not like we can all just run in and start punching our way through until we find mom and get her out."

Wendy snickered. The three turned to her as she held a hand at her jaw, massaging it. Still she grinned, and her eyes glazed over.

"Well, I mean," Wendy muttered, "not exactly true."

"Really?" Dipper asked. She nodded without a moment's hesitation. "Do... do you have a plan?" Dipper asked. Wendy grinned and waved them closer.

The guard at the back door was nearly done with his round as he stayed watch. It had been a boring post, but one he wouldn't shrink off. If the kids they were expecting would really show up, the backyard wasn't a bad place to expect them. All the other windows were covered and watched by other men.

Their orders were simple. The twins would probably come looking around. After their first stop, all they had to do was wait until the mother had finished with her call, and then they moved in. From there, according to their boss, these twins would show up. Two fifteen year olds wouldn't pose much of a threat to a bunch of trained bodyguards. No way they could stand up to them, esepcially with their gear.

With a rush of sound and a loud thump, someone leapt over the bushes at the end of the backyard, causing the man to nearly jump. His hand rushed for this taser, and pulled it out just as he saw who had jumped over. A red-headed teen, just above the height of the expected kids, had just landed in, and was looking around with big eyes.

"Whoa," she said slowly, "this totally isn't the right backyard. Uh, dude?" she asked, coming closer, clearly oblivious to the taser he held in his hand, "you know where the Mister Himmerfield's backyard is?"

"Kid, you got ten seconds to scram before I put some current through you," he warned, his deep, raspy voice unflinching at her apperance.

"Whoa, dude," Wendy held her hands up as she approached, "just trying to figure this out. Is he around here?"

"No. Now leave," he said, his finger tightening up by the trigger.

"Aw, really?" she said, lowering her hands, yet still approaching.

"I said stay back," he warned.

"Could I just walk on through the house then?" she asked.

No more warnings. He pulled the trigger.

As tiny needles struck Wendy's cloths and barely pierced her skin, her body shuddered. The cold feeling in her body was suddenly overcome with waves of fire, and she gasped as her face involuntarily clenched. Muscles twitched and her mind went blank... but only for a moment.

"Bad move, joe," Wendy glared and then rushed ahead. The man had no time to react- stunned with her absence of reaction to his weapon, she was already yin the air and driving a fist into his cheek when two others jumped over wall behind Wendy. The man stumbled away from the door, dropping the stun-gun to the grassy ground. Wendy, with equaling speed to previously, spun to his back. Jumping from the wall and onto his back, she tightly clenched her arm against his neck and squeezed.

"Hold him steady," Mabel quietly demanded as she rushed forward. With a twist and a kick, Mabel delivered a final blow to the slowly fainting man. He fell forward, forcing Wendy to drop away and let him collapse forward. "Phew. Nice stranglehold," Mabel told Wendy.

"Wrestling with dad taught me that," Wendy nodded, "among other things."

With a loud crunch, Soos jumped half-way through the shrubs in the backyard, and fell practically on his face. Pulling himself free from the tangles of tree and vine, the three watched as he desperately tried to stand and pull away, only to fall again and again. Finally his shoelaces were free from the tyrannical grips of the vines, and he stood and easily strode forward.

"Stealth mission so far is good," Soos told them with a confident nod.

"So, one down," Dipper reminded them, "an unknown number to go. Wendy, how are you handling with the taser?"

"Nothing on Omir's magic," she shrugged.

"Okay. So, if we're lucky, they'll have posts placed around the house that we can take down one at a time. If we can stealthily go from one to another, we may be able to get in and out without them noticing us too much," Dipper explained.

"Hey," a voice from the doorway made the four freeze, "what's going on out here?"

Pulling aside the sliding glass door, another broad man poked his head outside. Instantly he saw the four, and then his eyes fell to the collapsed fellow guard. His small eyes widened as he took in the scene, and made to shout.

Soos burst into speed, grabbing the man's face, and then slamming it with his own forehead. Still clutching the man's neck, Soos pivoted and swung the man over his shoulder and slammed him into the ground outside with a resounding and punishing WHAM. All in the process, the glass door broke away from the hinges and crashed to the ground, where it shattered.

"Oh!" Soos shouted, punching his fists above him "Powerhouse Ramirez takes out his opponent in one swing! Can the match get any more heated!?" he turned to the three watching him, their mouths dropped. "Oh. Stealth. Right... Oops."

From inside, the four heard the calls and commands of panic.

"Move!" Dipper shouted as he rushed inside the house. They had lost their moment of stealth, but they were already in the house. From this point on, they had only the objective of saving their mom, whatever that meant.

It was the twins benefits of knowing the layout of the home before them. They ran through the living room, an open concept room that connected to the kitchen, and had a double-hallway that connected all the bedrooms and bathrooms together in a small U-shape. They knew which room was their moms, and which one had been theirs, when they lived here. Dipper quickly saw movement to his left, and stepped aside just in time to dodge a taser round.

Mabel stepped under, and tossed a pillow into the man's face, who caught it just in time for Wendy to kick the man right between the legs. As he groaned and fell aside, tightly clutching the pillow, another stepped past him and shot again. Mabel ducked to the ground, sliding across the wooden floor with her sweater.

Once again, Wendy took to the point. She grasped the weapon and pulled him forward, driving her gangly but powerful arm into the man's neck. Soos made to and lifted a whole chair up, and with a quick, "Sorry dude!", he slammed it into the man's back. He fell backwards and collapsed onto the table as the splintered remains of the chair scattered all around.

As the man behind the twins fell, the two had already gotten to their feet only to meet another man. With no taser in hand, the man swung down at Mabel's head. She stepped aside and firmly placed her knuckles into his jaw. Stumbling aside, the man walked into Dipper, who took point and followed suit. He drove his own fist into the same jaw, but from the other side. Now spun back to Mabel, the twins kicked out his feet and made him drop onto his back with a glasswear-shaking thud.

Dipper looked up just in time to see more coming from outside, nearly seven rushing across the lawn.

"We've got more coming!" he shouted behind him.

"Go get mom!" Mabel said, "we got these bozos!"

"On it!" Dipper nodded, and rushed towards the hallway as the front door opened.

The first guard, still on a phone, shouted, "the twins are here, and have back up! Repeat, send for more back-"

"HIYAA!"

Mabel's proud outcry of war cut the man off, and Dipper was sure she had just delivered a flying-jump kick into his chest, sprawling him backwards against his also approaching comrades. But he couldn't turn and watch he had his mom to help. He passed his own room, only the slightest concern of the materials on his computer being stolen for blackmail. His real worry was the door directly ahead. His mom's room.

The door was unlocked, and with a quick rush, he stepped inside. He spotted her instantly- his mom on her bed, tied up and gagged with a small rope.

"Mom!" he cried.

Her eyes weren't on him, but to the corner to his left.

Dipper stalled and ducked back just in time. The huge man who swung with the baseball bat would have probably done more than just a concussion to him. The bat split into two on the ground and the man stumbled forward, slamming himself into the dresser. Pictures and perfumes fell onto the ground, splashing and shattering as Dipper rushed past him and to his mom.

First, his attempts went to her arms, tied at her back. "Sorry mom," Dipper spoke at a million miles a minute as his mind raced, "Mabel's out in the kitchen with our friends, trying to fight these jerks, and we're going to rescue you, and I love you, but just so you know, I totally told y-"

A hand reached over and placed it's meaty fingers around Dipper's throat. He felt the air pressed from his neck. Nearly finished with his mom's bonds, Dipper was hurled away, hitting the wall with a loud _whack_. Stumbling as he slid to the ground, Dipper's head felt like it had been dipped in lava. The crown of his head was on fire, throbbing with pain. Yet he stood, used to worse pain.

Nothing would compare to the power of blackfire.

So he stood, his eyes watering, but focused on the huge man before him. No one had ever come to look the same size and weight as Manly Dan in Dipper's experience as this man. The huge, dark skinned man roared as he rushed at Dipper, jabbing twice. Dipper ducked and stomped on his foot.

The boots made their mark, and the flinch from the human tank was more than enough. Dipper was behind him, and kicked at the back of the man's knees. He was lowered now and at Dipper's height. One punch into the side of his back, the man coughed. A second punch into the man's side of the neck, and the man stumbled aside. A third punch-

The huge beast swung wildly behind him just as Dipper committed to his third and probably final strike. He ducked back, but not far enough. The bare edge of the man's knuckles hit his face and drew blood as his nose was instantly bloodied. Stunned and collapsed backwards, Dipper wiped away the new cold feeling of his own blood falling from his face when he looked up. The man was now towering over him, cracking his knuckles as he adjusted his neck.

"You're going down, kid," the man grumbled, his voice deep and terrible like as an earthquake.

Then a loud crash and rain of splintered glass caught both men off-guard. The guard, frozen in place, slowly fell forward, nearly crushing Dipper, who darted aside just in time.

Standing behind him, Dipper's mother panted heavily, semi-loose rope tangled all around her. "No one hurts my children," she breathed dangerously. Holding the broken end of a large vase, she tossed it aside and looked down. "And it's STILL on!? Just fall off already!"

Dipper turned, pushing himself up and staggering to his feet. His nose felt horrible, but the sight of his mom breathing dangerously over the fallen man was more than enough to get him back to his feet. He raced to her, and began to untangle her as well. A quick moment of silence passed as he finally removed the last of the rope and tossed it aside.

"Dipper," she sighed and pulled him close. The two hugged quickly, and then she pushed him away. "Aww, c'mon!" she groaned, a smear of blood on her blue and white dress, "the dry cleaning for his is going to be so much!"

Dipper sighed. "Not sure if you're aware, mom," Dipper said, "but this isn't the best time to be thinking about dry cleaning! Also, I totally, totally told y-"

"Right, right, right," she nodded, "kidnapping, endangerment, that fun stuff." She paused, listening to the commotion outside. "Is your sister out there!?" she gasped, and ran past him. Shocked at his mother's quick reactions, he watched her leave, stop, rush back in to claim a tennis racket, and then rush out.

Mabel, Soos, and Wendy were in the thicket of a crazed, multi-person brawl when a woman with blood on her dress ran into the room like a berserker, and roared as she swung her tennis racket, "NO ONE TOUCHES MY BABIES!"

The first victim was lifted off his feet and onto the stove counter. The entire metal stove fell out of it's locked place, and the man fell forward, unconscious.

"Nice one Miss Pines!" Soos applauded after ducking a hook. He returned the favor and knocked the man to the ground with a jab.

With Mabel's last shrill 'HOOYAAAAH', the final guard collapsed onto the ground, out cold. Mabel stood, breathing heavily, bruises all over her. She winced as she felt some of the mostly healed wounds from her collapse on the bike remind her of their now stalled progress. She turned, spotting Wendy and Soos, who seemed more than fight- despite a few deep bruises and cuts on Soos. Then she turned and saw her brother, bleeding from the nose. "Dang, bro," she snickered, "hardcore. MOM!" she shouted, and lunged forward. Her arms wrapped around her mother tightly as she giggled.

"For someone who just knocked out nine men more than twice your weight, you sure are chipper," their mom laughed.

"Says you," Dipper grinned. "I think you knocked some teeth out of that one guy," he said, pointing to the collapsed man on the broken stove.

"Aww," she groaned, "and the payments for that stove were done next month too."

Wendy appeared next to them, grinning. "Well, maybe we should get going?"

"Huh?" Mabel asked. "Why? We totally just won."

Dipper blinked and looked around. "No, she's right. They were calling for backup when we got here. More are coming," he said, and turned back to his sister and mother, who was staring at Wendy.

"What's your name, sweety?" their mom asked.

"Wendy," the red-head announced.

Instantly, Mother Pines turned to Dipper and grinned devilishly. "Oh really?" she said, looking to Dipper.

Ignoring the flash of warning heat on his neck, Dipper approached them. "We need to go now. We can get out through the back. Let's go!"

The four plus one rescued mother darted out of the doors, bruised, bloodied, and wielding a tennis racket. They were rushing through the trees and vines when they heard more commotion from the house behind them. Soos barely made it over in time as a squad of more men arrived, fresh and ready for a fight.

"We parked the cars there!" Dipper shouted as he lead the rush towards the park. "Mom," Dipper sighed as they made it to the cars, and he turned to his friends, "this is Soos, and Wendy."

"Our partners in crime," Mabel affirmed.

"Soos? Hi," their mom took his hand and shook it, "I'm Delilah. Nice to meet you. And you're the Wendy I've heard so much about," the mother turned and extended a hand to Wendy. The red-head blinked, but shook it.

"Oh. You have?" she asked.

Dipper stepped in, his voice two octaves higher than it should have been. "Wendy!" he cried out, "could you ride Mabel's bike so we can explain to our mom what's goin' on!?"

"Oh... sure," Wendy shrugged, and looked to Mabel, "if you're chill with it."

"Treat her with love, and she'll love back," Mabel winked at Wendy, handing her the keys and helmet.

Wendy pushed the helmet back. "I don't need it."

"I've got Waddles!" Soos declared, climbing into the El Diablo.

"Then let's go before those goons catch up with us," Mabel told Dipper. As their mom got in the back with Mabel, and Dipper stepped into the driver seat, he breathed easily and felt the wheel at his fingertips.

"Mom," he said, turning to stare at her and his sister, who was in mid text-message, "I just wanted to say that I totally, totally, _totally_-"

"Told me so," she finished, rolling her eyes, "okay, so there _is_ something crazy going on with your life. Fill me in with the details after we escape the gang or whatever later, okay?" she asked, scowling at her son.

Dipper, feeling only slightly sheepish, turned the car on, and with Wendy as the forward driver and Soos on the rear, pulled out and drove away.

* * *

Delilah Pines has been introduced. Say hello!

And as I promised, feels and danger has been brought right back in, along with some crazy cool moments. I hope I delivered on your expectations. Things start low in the beginning and only grow more and more as the series progresses, so fret not if you wish more. Besides, we still have part two to battle through.

I mean, they only got momma. ;)

Oh- for those of you wondering if you've sent stuff to my alternate email account for the audiobook and not heard back, I'm so sorry about it. Gmail can be a little weird with other systems, but I've gotten it figured out. I'll **also **be extending the date to 'audition' until the 8th of January, just so we can all get a chance to really try out. If not? Oh well. XD

SO, hope you all enjoyed the ride, and are ready for part two next week!

It's been weird writing the story in other states, by the way. I keep having to look up various thingies. Like this-

(EZB lifts the actual Hollywood Hill sign, tettering side to side to try supporting it's collosal weight)

GETTING THE... DETAILS... RIGHT HAS BEEN VERY... (He drops it on the ground) Phew. Difficult. I bet you all thought I'd crush me under it's heavy frame- (The entire sign falls back onto EZB, crushing him.)


	68. The Parents Traps: Part 2

The din of the nearby highway did not help settle the heightened sense of anxiety. For five and a pig who had pulled into the truck stop off the highway ten minutes prior, the noise was a constant reminder of what they had escaped some hours ago. The cars were parked behind the most accessible lot, and instead the occupants had chosen to park near the forest line.

Waddles the pig had decided that under the worn and weathered picnic table was his best spot for shade and comfort, especially since the group had taken to the spot, just a few feet deeper in the trees. Her red hair flowing behind her, Wendy had just gotten back from what she explained as a 'perimeter scan'.

"Lots of trees, but no people. This isn't a popular spot," she shrugged, "so we're clear for now."

"Okay," Dipper nodded, massaging his jaw. "Good to know we weren't being overheard."

"That I know of," Wendy added, and strolled next to Soos, who had chosen to sit across the table from Delilah Pines. His nervous stare had been unbroken since they had sat down. His lips were tightly locked in some manner of withholding himself, to which the others noticed.

"Are you okay?" Delilah asked finally, blinking and leaning just slightly away from Soos.

"I have so. Many. Questions. Like, first of all, on a scale of one to ten, how does having the coolest uncle in the world feel?"

She blinked. "Uh..."

"Of course," Soos laughed, "eleven. Oh, uh, how does knowing your children saved the world once sit with you? Using the same number system."

"UH..."

"Twelve! Knew it," Soos nodded, "and also-"

"I'm sorry, I thought we weren't trying to over-load me at the moment?" Delilah reminded them, "coming to terms that my children have been more than just having the best minds of imagination since my _own_ years as a kid? That they have actually been in mortal danger on more occasions than they've had _school yearbook pictures_?!"

"Mom, chill," Mabel puffed out, "it's not a big deal."

"That... is probably the best _or_ worst thing I've ever heard my children say. It's not a big deal that mercenaries are trying to kidnap or kill you?" she turned to her daughter, who sat next to Dipper, across the table next to Soos.

"Not nearly as bad as the time we were nearly erased from existence," Dipper pointed out, "and those were private security. Not mercs." Their mother cringed and put a hand to her face.

"Your father would flay me if he found out how much danger we've been letting you all into. I mean," she dropped her hand with a loud plop, "I think it's cool. Not a lot of parents can brag that their kids are becoming secret agent types before they graduate from high school."

"Aww, thanks mom," Mabel grinned as Dipper snorted.

"But you know your father," she sighed before mumbling, "safe than sorry over everything. I'm shocked he even gave you a _bike_."

"Right now, that's not such a bad idea," Dipper pointed out. Mabel jabbed him in the ribs, glaring at him as their mother sighed and lowered herself to the table. "Ow! What?"

"Mom doesn't need you badgering her about what's right, okay?" Mabel hissed under her breath.

"Fine, fine, okay," Dipper nodded, backing off as he raised his hands in surrender.

"All these years," Delilah Pines blurted out, "I had heard stories about crazy adventures in a distant town in the woods... places and people and things that can't actually exist," she said to the twins, "but it's all real, isn't it?"

"Yup," Dipper nodded, "real and dangerous."

"Dangerous," their mother repeated. "How dangerous?"

"Dangerous enough to do this," he said, lowering the sleeve and showing his now proud scar along his arm, from where Graupner had cut him nearly a summer ago. Delilah gasped and clawed at him, yanking his arm closer for inspection, which nearly threw him off his seat. "Ow! Mom! Stop!"

"Who did that to you!?" she demanded, the fire in her eyes returning.

"It happened months ago," Dipper whined.

"That's not what I asked!" she growled.

"Wendy did the patchwork!" Mabel proudly proclaimed. The mother slowly lessened her grip, and turned to the still standing girl nearby. "Got him nice and not-bleedy!" Mabel grinned.

"You stitched my son?" the mother quietly asked. "Nice."

Wendy shot upright, not a sunken muscle in her body- not a single lax muscle. "Uh, yeah. Hey," she turned to Soos, her words shrill and loud, "buddy, you think we should re-stock on snacks?"

"But you don't eat. Or drin-," Soos pointed out to her. She replied by giving him a glare filled to the brim of promises of pain and death. The handiman then shot up. "But then again, better be safe than dead. Hah. Let's get _all_ the snacks dude."

"All of them," Wendy replied as she let a half-petrified Soos walk with her towards the main truck stop building. The twins, their mother, and Waddles, all watched for a moment.

"So that's Wendy," Delilah Pines cooed. It was Dipper's turn to shoot up and shiver.

Mabel spoke candidly. "She's a warrior princess from another planet who likes being so chill you can't even handle it," Mabel explained, "and she's super cool and into everything except stupid stuff." Dipper sighed, slowly coming to a seat. Mabel furthered, "and Dipper so wants to date her."

Dipper snapped. "YOU-" and went to shove his sister. Her expert evasive practices kicked in, and she weaved around his hand, having Dipper fall out of the picnic table and onto the ground with a clatter. From the ground, he grumbled, "traitor." She replied with by sticking out her tongue. On the ground, Waddles quickly licked at his fingers before he tried standing up again.

"Well, if she's able to stitch someone up nicely," their mom commentated, "and you two have decided to live your lives always on the edge of life and death, it's the next best thing to dating a war field medic."

"I think she technically classifies as that," Mabel hummed quietly.

Their mom turned to them, her arms crossed. "So your father and I have been wrong about what you do during the summers. This place, Gravity Walls-"

"-Falls," Dipper cut in.

"Whatever," their mom spluttered, "is real and dangerous. Somewhere in our line, we have not just your grandfather Sherman, but two older Grand-Uncles."

"Grunkles!" Mabel proudly exclaimed, and then grimaced, "but we don't talk about Ford anymore, not since we sent him and a crazed dream-demon into an anti-dimension."

"Who recently escaped and is at large," Dipper added.

"The _drama_," their mom sighed. From under the table, a pink pig oinked in agreement.

"But it was a real place," Dipper reminded her, "we have proof. Wendy and Soos both lived there, had family there. Records of their births and where they live should still be accessible in a computer."

"That's all really fascinating and nerdy," their mom patted Dipper's shoulder, "but I think that's less important than why goons where trying to, well, goon us. The heck are security guards doing trying to kidnap you all, and me, in the middle of suburbia?" she then rolled her eyes, "at least it's easier to believe than mermaids in San Francisco. That's just cray-cray."

As Mabel snorted into her cupped hands, Dipper piped up. "At least she's picking up on things going around."

"I'm plenty observant!" their mom declared, leaning on the table backwards. "I can always tell about things before they happen. Like..." she turned and stared at the arm she had just placed on the table, "I think I just got my jacket stuck on gum."

"Oh! I wonder what flavor it was," Mabel hummed as her mother tried pulling away.

"Focus, please," Dipper grumbled. The two ladies turned on him, and he continued. "Mom, the guys who grabbed you were waiting for us, expecting us to show up. Mabel and I have made a few enemies in the past, but we're pretty sure who's behind this one."

"Yeah, did they say who they were working for?" Mabel inquired.

The mom thought, finally tearing away from the table, which in turn ripped the sleeve of her jacket all the way up to her elbow. Both twins let their mouth fall open, but Mabel never ceased smiling. Now cradling her chin in thought with half a sleeve still stuck to the table, their mom thought aloud.

"Now that you mention it, they sounded kind of secretive," she said, "sort of avoiding the person's name. It was a guy though," she noted.

"You could tell?" Dipper asked.

"Sure. They made fun of him. I'm sure he's a bad person if he's sending goons after me, but you shouldn't make fun of someone because of a stutter," their mom preached.

Both twins groaned and leaned away. Dipper clutched his arms, feeling the ghostly reminders of long gone scars he once thought permanent. Mabel glanced to her brother, also checking on his arms as he tensed up.

Their mother just saw her children in agreement: making fun of stutters is bad. "Exactly!" she declared, startling them both, "I mean, make fun of someone for the stupid things they do, not for who they are," she said, giving one final tug on the table to completely remove the sleeve, which tore away from her elbow, leaving a thick sweater-like half sleeve on the table.

Dipper rubbed his hands over his forehead, massaging his temples. "Mom, we're like this because we know who it was who sent them to your house."

"Oh. Well that's bad too," she admitted.

"He's a horrible jerk who deserves no friends and kind of needs to be in immortal time-out," Mabel detailed, "with a stutter and blond hair and one eye."

"A pirate?!" their mom gasped.

"A warlock," Dipper said.

"Gesundheit," their mom said to Dipper.

Dipper stared at his mom, who showed no signs of sarcasm, though she was plenty capable of it, "His name is Graupner Kinley. He was a study of a powerful wizard named Omir Steindorf, who's gone forever. Now Graupner he's got no one to really stop him, and we think he's responsible for the collapse of-"

"The Steindorf and Co? Yeah, that was no doubt an illegal operation to gain the cumulative wealth of the company without the paper trail to lead to the actual head of the operation, and avoid persecution," their mom concluded. The twins stared at her. "What? I watch the news, and I got a masters in economics. I know a sketchy liquidation when I see one."

"Graupner wants to use you to get us," Mabel said quickly.

"Noted," their mom nodded, "I got an idea when I heard them say, 'we can use the mom to get to these kids', so... yeah," she shrugged.

"Then you know where we're going fist," Dipper sighed, finally standing off from the ground.

Their mother nodded and adopted a stern look. "Jenson."

"Dad," Mabel quietly corrected.

"Since we rescued you, their next target is going to be him, no doubt," Dipper mused out-loud, "and in order to protect you both, we need to get you and keep you away from the places they'll expect to find you."

"So home, favorite places to eat, friends," their mom listed, "and work. Too bad for them I am a digital commuter. They can't get me from the internet!"

"Not without an insane magical spell that lets them do exactly that," Dipper gulped. Their mom, confident in her answer, suddenly paled.

"What kind of world do you two live in where the internet isn't a safe place?" she demanded. The twins only shared a look, and said nothing else.

"Mom," Dipper dusted his knees off, "we need to take you someplace that's safe."

"And we only know of like one place right now that's 'safe'," Mabel quoted, "but the guy who set us up is totally trustworthy," Mabel grinned, even as Dipper scowled at her, "and totally attractive and a great singer, and... among other things," Mabel summarized as her face grew hot.

Their mom stood up, her arms stiff at her side. "No."

Both twins gulped.

"I'm your mother. You don't get to treat me like I'm not a help until I have grandkids down the line," she reprimanded them. "Until I'm an old, frail granny who can cook better than I can now, and has kids to watch for either of you, I'm a frisky, single mother who is going to help my children save her ex because it's the right thing to do."

"Mom, this isn't-" Dipper's face trembled at the sight of his mother glaring at him. He was at her height now, but that wasn't a matter that could be taken into account. Their parental figure of authority, whether informed or not, was in power now.

"Don't." Her word was law, and Dipper felt the weight of her mother command as she rarely did. Mabel's lips tightened, and she looked right at Dipper. That look, with those open eyes, suggesting 'nothing we can do, right?' was not lost to him. He barely shrugged, but the movement was enough to communicate with her. "I mean, c'mon guys," Delilah snapped, and whipped her hand to the table ground, and to the pig, "you're bringing Waddles with you guys!"

"That's... not a bad point," Dipper agreed, scratching at the back of his head.

"Sounds like a plan's in the works," the voice of Wendy called back. The three turned, and Wendy stood with Soos, who held in his arms mounds of candy and snacks. Wendy's eye's darted to the ripped sleeve. "Nice. It's too hot for long sleeve."

Delilah turned to Dipper, a very sly grin growing. Quietly, but not in a whisper, she muttered to Dipper, "Oh, I like her. She get's my style."

"You're not the only one liking her," Mabel giggle. Dipper kicked at her hip, knocking Mabel aside, who cried out with a 'whoop!'.

"So then, Missus Pines," Soos said as he opened his second bag of chips, "you're coming with us?"

"I am," she nodded, "There should be someone else there aside from my children that my ex-husband can relate to. Otherwise he may think it's some elaborate prank."

"I can relate," Soos nodded, "like, if it was just some sort of crazy TV-show that kids these days like? Maybe get prizes if they act a certain way? Like _Fear-Plan_," Soos pointed out.

Delilah gasped. "I love that show."

Soos also gasped. "Me too!"

Mabel, standing up, saw her mother grin wider. "You pick good friends, you two," Delilah mused.

"I'd show you more," Mabel said, her smile growing at first, "but... you'd have to see the town," Mabel mentioned, her grin fading.

Dipper placed a gentle hand on his sister's shoulders. Fighting back the pain of knowing that everyone who had ever lived there was gone forever was more than just a temporary thing. The male twin looked to his mom, who studied their grim looks. "We're going to get dad, and bring him to a safe location. From there, we know someone who may be able to get you to a safe location."

"Roadtrip?" Wendy asked.

"Back on it," Mabel nodded. Waddles squealed in excitement.

With the cars back on the move, it would only be a few hours before the twins made it to their dad's place. Their father, Jenson Pines, lived in Piedmont still: the same home that the twins had grown up in and continued to switch between with their two parents. He was far more subdued than their mother, and with a habit of enjoying counter-culture and technology- something Dipper had adopted in stride.

He was more than capable of handling himself in the day-to-day business, but the idea of him coping with hired men to kidnap him was, by no means, anything other than ridiculous. He always sought a calm, thought out approach, and rarely jumped to conclusions or made a guess- especially in the more dire of times.

With the five around him and the pig climbing into the car, Dipper gathered his friends once more around him.

"Okay guys, this is going to be the same. We get a distant look and see what's up. If we're lucky, they won't have a bead on our dad yet," he told Wendy and Soos.

"And if they do?" Wendy asked.

"We try the same technique," Mabel shrugged, "worked well the first time. Enter home, find baddies, beat up, and run. Simple!"

"Sweet. How far away are we thinking still?" Soos asked.

"Just about-" Dipper started. Then the phone rang in his pocket. Lifting it out after a pause, the number before him on the small pixilated screen was alien to him. Yet his memory stirred. He had seen this number before. With a clearing of his throat, he opened the phone up and said aloud, "Zander."

"Dipper," Zander's voice called urgently back, "I need to know where you are right now."

"Why? We're at the hotel," Dipper lied, glancing around, checking that the cars in the distance weren't too audible.

"Dipper, do me a favor," Zander sighed, "and pretend I'm not stupid. I can track GPS signals with my crew."

"Your crew?!" Dipper snapped back.

"And they let me know you're in, of all places, California!?" Zander barked, his voice raising to a level Dipper was unfamiliar with. "There are four other neighboring states you could have popped into, and you chose California. Do you have a deathwish?"

"Mabel and I grew up in California," Dipper cooly replied, "we know our way around."

"I'm sure that's what our friend is counting on," Zander growled, "and I'm under the impression he's now aware you're in state."

"Well, we are," Dipper said. Then Mabel reached over and snapped the phone away.

"Zander!" she sighed, "Hi! How are you? I hear you and Dipper are having a serious discussion. Let's lighten it up a bit, right?" she asked, giving Dipper a statue-esqu smile.

"Mabel, listen to me carefully, okay?" the voice of her summer-long crush returned, "I need you all to get out of state. Back to Oregon."

"Zander," Mabel chuckled, "we kicked the bad-guys' butts soo bad. You would have loved it. Didn't stand a chance."

"They know that," Zander told them, "which is why they're escalating."

Mabel blinked, looking to the others, staring at her expectantly. "What do you mean? They're on... escalators?"

"Mabel-" Zander sighed.

"Okay, okay, what do you mean then?" Mabel worriedly said, feeling defeat as the conversation turned into a serious one. She would have to have her more friendly chat with him another time it seemed. "So they'll have more men next time?"

"Since I've left you guys, I've made a few contacts. Some are helping me keep a watch on our good friend," Zander explained rapidly, and Mabel pressed the button for the speakerphone, "Graupner. He's been using, up until now, the personal security forces of the company- men who go through basic requirements to gain status as a simple bodyguard. Since your stunt in Citrus Heights, they've moved onto bigger guns."

"Like... bigger muscles?" Mabel gulped.

"Yes and no. Private security contracts. Graupner knows you're in state, and seems determined to get at you two, and anyone who's with you. I guess your mom is somewhere nearby?" Zander asked.

"Say Hi, mom," Mabel chuckled. The woman stared at the phone and Mabel, uncertain to what she was being referenced in. "She's a little shy, but she's here," Mabel calmly assured Zander.

"Well, get her and yourselves out of state before you stir anymore trouble up," Zander grumbled, "because the hive is mad."

"Any more trouble?!" Dipper snapped.

"Your actions-" Zander started.

"Saved me!" The mother cut in, stepping towards the phone, and snatching it from Mabel's hands. "Now, mister whoever the heck you are, I'm not sure I appreciate the bossy-tone your trying to use regarding my kids! As far as I remember, only myself and their father get regular privilege to do that! And for the record, they saved my butt-"

"And risked their lives, and therefore the safety of the world to do save you," Zander coldly interrupted. Their mom stared at the phone, her mouth frozen open. "Delilah, right? You have every right to be thankful for your kids for what they did for you. But this is no longer just angry goons in a house in the suburbs. Mercenaries trained to kill are after them. Do you really want them against that?"

Dipper reached out and took the phone back. "And we're outrun werewolves and vampires before! Some would consider monsters like that much worse than just big dudes with guns!"

"Guys," Zanders voice rumbled softly, a suppressed frustration bleeding out from the phone, "I'm telling you now, get out of California. I can-"

"Deal with Graupner alone?" Dipper shouted.

"That's not what I said, but right now that's _also_ a good idea," Zander stated.

"So we're just leaving our dad behind because it's dangerous?" Dipper asked.

"That's... I can-"

"Forget it!" Dipper shouted, and without another word, slapped the phone shut.

The four stared at him as he panted, his shoulders heaving. The fury and heat from the conversation had crept into his face and lungs, and the stinging in his throat reminded him of his shouts. Dipper slowed his rage to deep, long breaths, and finally spoke again.

"It doesn't matter what he thinks, does it?" Dipper said to them, "this is Mabel's and my dad. We need to help him."

"As much as I wish we could agree with Mister Maximillion," Soos said, holding his finger up in a auditory note, "We totally should rescue your family."

"Yeah, forget the danger," Wendy snorted, "I can take whatever they throw at me. Let me be the meat shield."

The mother hummed, examining Wendy's form with a raised eyebrow. After Dipper turned and stared at her, the mom glanced back to him, and gave him a wink. Once again his cheeks flushed, but less for anger and more for the heat of embarrassment.

"Well," Mabel rubbed her hands together, "all aboard the 'Rescue Train'!"

Not long after Dipper informed Wendy and Soos of the road they'd be stopping at (some three streets before the one their dad lived on), they were back on the road yet again. Not long after that had the twins mother slowly succumb to the draw of sleep. Mabel, sitting in the back of the car, stared at her brother as the dying light of the sky brought lines of darkening violet and orange for them to watch.

"It's so pretty," Mabel cooed.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded.

"I already forgot we could see more of the sunset in California," Mabel admitted, "at least in summer." Dipper scoffed and nodded. "Still," Mabel mused, "the woods were really pretty."

"Kind of hard to remember when we're running for our lives." Mabel's foot suddenly appeared next to his shoulder. Dipper gasped and turned, seeing his twin slowly clumb up past him. "Hey," he hissed, checking on the figure behind him. Mabel squeezed between the seats and finally sat next to him with a bouncy plop. "You could have woken mom up."

"She's tired," Mabel said with a grin, "isn't used to the excitement of escaping certain doom."

"It wasn't certain," Dipper rolled his eyes, and then placed them back on the road, "it was quasi-certain at best. And put your seat-belt on, or mom'll yell at you."

"Mom doesn't care about seatbelts," Mabel poked her tongue out at Dipper, who grinned despite himself. "Can't fool me, buster," Mabel winked.

"Fine, fine, got me," Dipper admitted. As the two smiled gently, the car fell into silence again. There was nothing unsaid between the two of them as they watched the highway before them, aware of the dying light and the headlights of Dipper's car dimly illuminating Mabel's bike, currently in use by Wendy.

Yet Dipper's forehead crumpled. Mabel glanced next to her, seemingly and instantly aware of his sudden mental stress. With a sudden snort, she realized a missing feature. "Dude."

"I didn't say anything," Dipper squeaked.

If Mabel wasn't grinning before, she was now. "Ohhh, you're thinking something bad, huh? Is it Wendy's butt?"

"Mabel!" Dipper hissed.

"It _is_!"

"Is _not_!" Dipper yelped, "stop saying stuff like that or Mom will get some crazy idea!"

"I bet you twenty bucks that she's already got five ideas," Mabel dared.

"I wasn't thinking about Wendy!" Dipper growled.

"Yeah? You jumped when I said something," Mabel pointed out. Dipper's reaction wasn't her expectation; rather than sigh and bite at his lip, he turned and looked to her, studying her face for a moment, collecting his thought. "Okay, so it's not Wendy," Mabel admitted as her brother turned back to the road. "What is it?"

Dipper chewed at his lip before talking. "Why do you like Zander?"

Mabel pressed herself against the back of the seat near instantly. Her chest tightened as she felt the question reach her. It wasn't intrusive, or at least it wasn't meant to be. Yet she felt more than a prod from Dipper's words. She could see his eyes in the reflection of the windshield as he thought ahead, his mind already working to formulate the next best thing to say. She went to speak, but he jumped in.

"And don't say that he's handsome and cool," Dipper grumbled.

"Why not?" she replied with a similar grumble.

"Because that's not enough to forgive him being a lying, manipulative, back-stabbing jerk," Dipper decisively said.

Mabel's cheeks flared, and it wasn't in her 'happiest flushed girl' kind of way. She ground her teeth together at each word, feeling the need to retaliate. Zander wasn't any of these things, and she knew it. Still, Dipper had the right to be angry at him. So with a long breath, Mabel gave her truthful answer.

"I like him because he's a good person who's trying his best to help us."

"He's not," Dipper quickly denied.

"Then why did he come find us after the town was gone?" she retorted.

"He needs our help," Dipper snarled.

"He doesn't need our help," Mabel chuckled, in disbelief at Dipper's words, "he's stronger, faster, and smarter than us."

Dipper glared at her for a quick moment. "He's not smarter than us."

"Dude-"

"Just because he can fight better than us and is some crazy... whatever he really is," Dipper grumbled, "he's still a liar. He couldn't come straight to us and warned us about Graupner and Omir working together! Or how about the stone!?"

Mabel saw the look in Dipper's gaze in the window again. She saw something he was refusing to admit. There was an emotion he was burying with his talk of anger and retribution. Pain.

Mabel relented. Maybe, for once, Dipper would be allowed to feel the way he did. Yet no sooner had she turned and leaned into the chair than Dipper sigh.

"I'm sorry," he admitted.

She shrugged, barely moving her shoulders. "It's okay. I... I don't know. I don't really know what to think about him anymore."

"Like mom and dad, huh?" Dipper joked.

The words had clearly come out of Dipper faster than he had expected. Mabel had shot over and stared at him, her mouth open. His own mouth fell open, and he checked the mirror, looking at his mom.

"Dipper," Mabel gasped, "what did that mean?"

"Sorry," he nearly whispered before clearing his throat. "I was just- bad joke- too far."

"You _meant_ that," Mabel realized out loud.

He again held his tongue, biting into his bottom lip as his forehead furrowed. Then he looked to her. "Well, don't you?"

Mabel blinked. "Do I what, exactly?"

"Think of mom and dad differently since they... broke up?" he asked.

Mabel leaned away, still looking at him. "No?" she said, her own words betraying her. If Dipper thought he was a bad liar, he hadn't seen an uncertain Mabel. He just gave her a simple glance, and she crumbled. "Fine. I guess so."

"It's not like they ever told us what went wrong," Dipper recalled out loud. "They could have kept is un the loop."

"I remembering us wanting to stay away from it as much as possible," Mabel mumbled, coldness reaching her skin as she recalled to the days of shouting and tears. Where her home was bitter and filled with broken hearts. The last days where she and Dipper constantly lived together.

"I... yeah," Dipper nodded, "I remember that too."

"What would they have told us anyway?" Mabel asked, "would it have really mattered? It was still our family splitting." Mabel looked back to Dipper, his general position slouched. "I just miss knowing I can knock your door down if I had a bad day at school," she admitted.

Dipper's mouth quivered, and he nodded. "Same. I can't decorate quite like you can," Dipper smiled.

Mabel smiled, yet it was a short lived event. Her mind saw a connection from one event to another. Things breaking, and drifting apart. "Is... is this just our family?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Do people in the Pines family just fall apart?"

Dipper gave her words a quick thought, and then he nodded. "Like... Grunkle Stan and Ford."

"Yeah. I was just thinking that-"

Mabel stalled, and Dipper shot upright. A yawn from the backseat had Mabel spin in her seat, watching as their mouth fluttered her eyes open and sit upright. Delilah Pines glanced around, finding Mabel with a faint smile.

"So that's what I felt a few minutes ago," the mom muttered. "Abandoning me to the front seat?"

"Better view," Mabel chuckled.

"Mom," Dipper gulped, "you, uh, did we wake you up?"

"I don't think so," she shook her head, scratching her hair, "I heard something about Grunkles, and in my dream, I had to know more."

Mabel chuckled. "He was Dad's uncle, and he was-"

"Crazy," Dipper snickered.

"Crazy cool more like!" Mabel told him.

"Grouchy, mostly," Dipper pointed to her.

"And smelly," Mabel beamed.

"That does sound like an old person you're talking about," their mom stated with a nod. "So this Stanley Ford, was he-"

"No!" Mabel laughed, "his name was Stanley Pines!"

"So he was your dad's side," she mused. "Then who's Ford?" their mom asked. The long pause in the twins was more than enough for any mother to decipher hesitation. She leaned forward, her brow tightening like Dipper's. "I'm guessing that means this is a no-go topic?"

"No, it's okay," Dipper sighed. "Grunkle Ford was Stanley's twin brother."

"So it was genetic!" Delilah snapped her fingers, "I always wondered if your father hadn't just made that up."

Dipper ignored her comment, and detailed the story. "Ford was a researcher of odd and unusual things. Paranormal, extraterrestrial, whatever. One day, after he and Stan had been working together, they got into a fight. Ford was accidentally throw into a portal, and Grunkle Stan always tried getting him back, no matter how hard it seemed."

"That's so sad," their mom muttered.

"Yeah," Mabel nodded.

"But that's not the end," Dipper gulped, his fingers tightening on the wheel, "because Ford came back. We didn't even know there was a Grunkle Ford until Stan told us! I always knew him as the author to my journals," Dipper admitted. "But... he seemed normal."

"Seemed," Mabel reminded their mom, "but he wasn't. Not even a little. And not in the cool way of crazy, but in the 'uh oh he's going to cut you' kind of way."

"Wait, what?" their mom gasped.

"He was working with a Demon," Dipper bit as he spoke," named Bill Cipher. The demon had made a deal with him before he was thrown into the portal. But after the portal incident with Grunkle Stan, Ford made a second deal- to be a servant as long as he got back home. Bill took the deal literally, and was able to use him even after he got home as an agent."

"Ford wasn't able to fight Bill, and we had to stop them both three years ago," Mabel explained to their mother, "by doing what Stan couldn't. We had to throw him back into the portal."

"I'm kidding about what I said earlier," their mom quietly said, "Drama doesn't compare. You... you two really did all of that?"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded stiffly. "Sometimes I still hear him shout at us as we watch him fly into the portal. If we hadn't thrown him in, Stan may have been killed," Dipper told their mom.

As their mother leaned back against the back seats, Mabel also let her back rest against her seat. The memorize never left her. Every once in a while she would see that same dream. Bill's laughter, Ford's body compelled to do as was ordered, like Dipper before him. In the end, she would see Ford spiraling into the eternity that was the anti-dimension. Whatever it had lead to, they would never know. Both people who had know about it were gone forever.

She refused to let the creeping sadness get the better of her. "We still have each other."

Dipper and Delilah both turned and stared at Mabel, who turned to them, her best, beaming smile an example to escaping the tragedies of the past. "And as long as we have that, we can still save the day, no matter what."

The warming grin on Dipper's face reflected into Mabel's soul. She made him smile again, and in turn, she truthfully smiled. Yet the two heard sniffling, and glanced behind them. Their mom had tears filling her eyes, and her lip trembled.

"You two... are... astounding," she admitted.

"Mom, stop it," Dipper laughed, "this isn't a sad moment."

"I know!" she snapped in a sloppy voice, "I'm sorry! You two are just amazing people. I'm... so proud of you two. Always so proud of you"

The words spoken after their mother said were few and far between, but the golden light that blossomed in the twins chest filled them to the brim. Whatever negativity had come to them earlier was chased out from the grand confidence and love of their mother.

Soon, as their chats became more and more reassuring, they saw Wendy pulling into the exit towards their Dad's neighborhood. Slowly, their pace was a crawling one. It wouldn't be long before they were only ten streets away. Then it was six. Five streets. Four.

They parked the two cars and bike three streets away, plenty of distance between the home and their location. As the group collected itself in the cover of night, huddling nearby a bus stop, Dipper cleared his throat, and quietly re-collaborated the plan.

"So, according to Zander," Dipper resisted putting venom in his voice at the utterance of the being, "there baddies know we're out here. Dad hasn't called, so I think we can assume that they haven't come for him yet. Otherwise, this should be done quickly and quietly. Unless stuff happens, and then it's the usual."

"Beat up or punch out," Wendy shrugged, "some things don't change."

"So what's the plan of action dude?" Soos asked, "through the back door?"

"Not this time," Dipper said.

"Why not?"

"Because that was our attack plan last time," Dipper explained, "so if they are here, they'll be expecting us from _that_ way."

"Brilliant," Soos nodded.

"So all of us go in?" Mabel asked.

"No. You and Wendy go in first, while Soos and I take up defensive positions on the corner, just in case we see something while you're there," Dipper explained. "You two are the more stealthy of the four of us, and Mabel was living here last. She'll know more than me what's new with the house."

"I broke a fence," she shrugged, "that's about it."

After Dipper and her mother stared at Mabel, the teen boy shook his head and continued. "So, any questions?"

"Extraction plan," Wendy stated, "just get your dad out and run him to the cars with Waddles asap?"

"Unless there's a better way," Dipper shrugged. "You can't fly as a wraith, can you?" he asked Wendy with a timid grin.

Wendy gave him a glance. "Not yet," she said with a playful warning.

"Sorry, a what?" their mom asked.

Ignoring Delilah's inquiry, Wendy looked to Dipper. "Time to go?"

"Now or never," Dipper said. Putting his arms on Mabel's and Wendy's arms, he nodded. "Good luck. We'll be waiting. Mom, stick behind by the car."

"But... okay, fine," she mumbled, "but if they fight you all the way here, I'm getting out my tennis racket," she told them.

Mabel and Wendy were off in the night like a shot. With a brisk, quiet sprint, the two stayed as much to the shadows as they could. It wasn't all that hard, as the trees in the neighborhood brought much needed cover for the two. Grass and yards softened their footsteps as they made it closer, and finally down the first street, and then the second one. Before they made it to the house, they checked behind them, spotting Dipper and Soos watching them from behind a tree at the corner.

Mabel saw it again, the house she and Dipper grew up in. To her shock and mild embarrassment, the white picket fence she last saw in ruins was still run down. Her dad must have been busy, or taken her word for it, as it was yet repaired. The small garage hid away her father's car, but nearby was the door and front stoop.

The lights were dark. Her father wasn't exactly a night-owl, but this was cutting it early for him to be in bed already. She slowed down as Wendy made it to the step.

"I got that feeling," Mabel said quietly.

"That something's up?" Wendy asked. As Mabel nodded, Wendy looked around. "Well crud, because I got the feeling we're being watched."

Mabel reached for the door, and then blinked. There was a red dot she had not seen before on the white walls next to the door. Her father was a poor painter, granted, and Mabel loved the color, but it was very... bright. She went to reach for it, but then her eyes widened and she held her hand back. It wasn't paint. It was sliding towards her silently.

"Wendy!" she gulped, but the red-head spun to her in a flash. Wendy barely had time to kick out at the door.

BANG.

Dogs barked and cats shrieked. Homes across the neighborhood became awake with panic and fear. The gunshot tore through the night just as it did flesh and fabric. Mabel had ducked and jumped inside the house as the door split off the hinges. Wendy, however, screamed and fell inside as the red dot vanished and re-appeared on her back. She stumbled down, a hole the size of a nickel in her back. Mabel shrieked and ran forward, seeing the red dot fix on Wendy's chest as she spun over.

"Stay out from the doorway!" Wendy shouted, her eyes watering as she rolled to the side. The wooden floor shattered and splintered as three more shorts missed Wendy. Gunshots from across the road.

People outside were screaming from other houses. Mabel had just enough time to turn and pull Wendy out of the doorframe, hyperventilating. Wendy had been shot. She had been shot by a bullet in her back.

"Aww man, I can feel it in my shoulder!" Wendy growled, staggering to her feet, gritting her teeth.

"You're okay?!" Mabel gasped.

"It hurts like hell, so no!" Wendy barked.

"But you're-"

"I can't die, Mabel!" Wendy snapped.

Wendy dared moved to the windows with Mabel, each of them taking to aside. As they did, another bullet ripped into the glass, shattering one of the panes of glass into the house. Mabel shrieked and Wendy cursed quietly.

"I hate that my dad was right about teaching me this stuff," she growled, "ambush tactics. Great. Mabel," Wendy said, "go get your dad. Then we can deal with what's waiting in the back of the house!"

An older, male voice shouted in shock "Mabel!"

Mabel spun around as Wendy craned her head. At the darkened hallway that lead into the deeper house, her father strutted out. Taller than their mother by only a few inches but with curly brown hair, the man had a lanky build that betrayed the Pine Family genetics. His deep brown eyes studied the state of the house before him, still in shadows. He was hastily applying glasses, and quickly made note of Wendy, and the bullet holes in the ground.

"What is going on!?" he hissed at Mabel. "Is this some insane prank gone wrong? I thought you and Dipper went camping after something happened!"

"Dad," Mabel sighed, and rapidly pointed to Wendy," this is my friend Wendy," she then pointed to the floor, "those are bullet holes," and she pointed to the window she stood next to, "and outside somewhere is a maniac trying to shoot us."

Her father stared at the situation, and then pressed himself hard against the hallway wall. "Care to explain why there are bullet holes in the ground!?"

"They missed after the first one," Wendy mumbled, carefully peeking around the window to get a view. "The guy is in the tree. Vantage point. Dang it, they knew we'd be here."

Mabel sighed. She leaned against the wall, and looked to her dad. "Long story short dad, Dipper and I are trying to save the world, and these jerks are trying to sort of stop us, but not really. I mean, they'd stop us by killing us, which is what we think they really want." There was a loud rattling at the window door across the house, and Mabel and her father both turned and stared. "Wendy, what were you saying about the back?" Mabel asked with a gulp.

Wendy spun around just in time. She made an uncompromising dash across the house, running straight through the closed off living room towards the back porch door. Mabel made to follow, and saw the glass window break down just as Wendy got there.

A man, padded with armor and weapons stormed through the still shattering glass, a large, laser sighted pistol in his hands. Wendy made not attempts to stop as she ran forward into the sight.

With a suppressor attached, the pistol fired four times into Wendy, each bullet making it's mark. Wendy gasped only once, and stumbled forward, but not before grasping the pistol from his hands and throwing it to the floor.

"HEY!"

The man turned up to see Mabel mid-air. Her foot made contact with his chest, and he was shoved back against the wall with a loud bash.

"No one shoots my un-killable friends!" Mabel shouted, and threw a punch. The impact against the gut was shockingly worse for Mabel than she had expected. A layer of thin metal armor stood between her fist and the target, but still her strike was true. He reeled mildly as Mabel felt her hand swell up.

Then he made a retaliation- reaching for something sheathed. Mabel ducked back and leapt away as a knife was slashed outward. The man, a mask covering his face, stared at Mabel with cold concentration, something she had only seen once in her life- when Graupner fought. The man had no qualms killing her. Truly Stone cold.

Wendy then lurched up off the ground, and grabbed the arm. The knife plunged downwards into the man's leg. He grunted, a sharp hiss of air as he saw his own weapon wound him. Yet the mercenary barely had time to strike down Wendy again with his fist. Mabel took another mid-air swing. This time she made contact with his face and her heel.

Trained mercenary or not, the impact was hard enough to toss him a foot away and onto his back, where he fell, unmoving. Mabel landed next to Wendy, and helped her up.

"Oh man," Mabel fought back tears as she saw the four holes in Wendy's front.

"It's not that bad," Wendy shrugged, "not like the one time I got clawed by a cougar in the back. Took forever to stitch up," she laughed, only to stiffen and hiss, "but that does smart. Not much, but just a little."

There was another loud bang. The two ducked as a bullet barley passed over their heads, passing through the wall. As they took cover by the collection of comfy furniture, Mabel's father came into the room, covering his head.

"Your training sure pays off," Jenson Pines admitted to Mabel with a smile. "So, what do we do with this?" he pointed to the man.

"Easy," Wendy said, lifting without looking at it the pistol from the floor, and checking it's slide for ammo, "I go out the front, shooting into the tree. The guy takes cover. You two run while he deals with me."

"What?!" the father gasped. "You'll be killed."

"Nah, I wont," Wendy shrugged.

"Then you'll be shot!" he said, and his eyes widened as he saw the four bullet holes in her shit, without signs of blood.

"Too late for that one," Wendy grimaced.

"What... what is going on?" Jenson asked Mabel.

"She's a friendly neighborhood living dead girl!" Mabel grinned.

Jenson's eyes flicked to Wendy, who shrugged non-chalantly. Then the father looked back to Mabel, millions of questions burning in his mind. Then he looked again to Wendy, perhaps rationalizing what he had just been told. Finally, he looked to his daughter one last time, and sighed. "I have no idea what happened, but suddenly I feel like I'm in one of Dipper's and your stories about... what was that place we sent you to?" he asked, his eyes squinting.

"I'll tell you later," Mabel sighed. Mabel spun around to Wendy. "Ready to rock, sista?"

Wendy cocked the slide, sending a cartridge flying. "You know it, sucka."

With that, Mabel let Wendy step out, her pistol at her side. "Dad, as soon as you hear the gunshots, we run. Got it?"

"I hope she's immune to bullets," her dad worried as the red-head marched out into the open.

"Better, kind of. She's immune to dying," Mabel stated.

BANG.

The shot through Wendy's stomach sent her to her knees. Coughing and growling, Wendy was watched by Mabel and her father as the girl slowly rose again, now with more holes in her body. Her teeth bared, the red-head stepped out, and lifted the gun towards the tree, and she shot, one steady round at a time.

"NOW!" Mabel roared.

Her father and her raced through the house, treading carefully over the wounded floor and the shattered glass. Though she was dressed, her father only wore sleeping pants, an undershirt, slippers, and his bathrobe. The man was less prepared than their mother had been hours ago.

Bursting out of the house, the two raced behind and away from Wendy, who had just fired her sixth, and seemingly final bullet. Yet, to their amazement, a figure jumped out from the hidden perch in the tree, and raced to grant himself cover.

As he did, from the other side of the tree he was thrown out. Soos and Dipper stepped out, having taken cover behind the very tree the sniper had been.

"No one shoots my co-worker!" Soos snapped, tearing the gun away from the masked assailant, and swinging it like a golf club across his forehead. The man fell back, knocked out cold and pacified. "Now take a nap, you cold-hearted assassin poophead."

"You two are supposed to be at the corner!" Wendy snapped. She then glanced at Soos. "Poophead. Really?"

"Yeah, what happened to the plan?!" Mabel shouted.

"Dipper!" Jenson gasped.

"Dad!" Dipper smiled, and he looked to the ladies, "the plan changed the moment Wendy was shot! I'm not having Soos and I sit around watching you two get peppered with bullets! To heck with that!"

Mabel sighed, and glanced at Wendy. "Can you believe this-" but her words stalled. Wendy was blushing.

"So let's complete phase two," Dipper suggested, "and let's get the heck out of here!"

"Wendy?" Mabel nudged the red head, who jolted.

She shakily nodded. "Right!" she said, and tossed the pistol aside as Soos dropped the rifle.

"Nice to meet you, Mister Pines!" Soos said, shaking hands with Jenson Pines mid-run, "I've worked with your Uncle very closely, and let me tell you what an honor it's been to befriend your son and daughter and now meet your in person!"

"Uh, nice to meet you too," Jenson said, studying the man who shook his hand. Finally he re-claimed his hand, and looked to Dipper, "if you're here, and Mabel's talking about rescue, is Delilah also-"

"Yup," Dipper nodded, "waiting at the car." Their father grunted, yet said nothing on the topic. "We need to get you two out of state! We have a guy after us!"

"Try several," their father mentioned, "and 'after' is more like 'trying to kill'!"

"Well, being a good person and stopping evil gets you enemies sometimes," Mabel shrugged, "it happens in Strongholds and Serpents, so it happens in real life."

Their father gasped. "You two play Strongholds and Serpents now?!"

Turning the corner at the end of the street, Dipper found their mom running at them a small pink pig at her feet, squealing. As the dogs of the neighborhood continued to bark and yowl in panic, Dipper noticed something along with Mabel.

Two men walked casually behind her, guns raised.

The group slid to a halt as their mom caught with them.

"They were coming to the cars," Delilah gasped, "they knew- oh. Hi Jen," she muttered to the father.

"Delilah," he nodded.

"We can have an awkward family reunion later, okay?" Mabel pleaded.

"Yeah," Dipper said, and glanced behind him. "We need to move before we're..." Two more men started behind them, similar rifles in their arms. Dipper looked around, and on three separate roofs, there were mercenaries waiting for them. "Surrounded," Dipper whispered.

They were all at each other's backs. No where to run.

"Okay," Mabel breathed rapidly, her posture ready to fight, "they all have guns. Dipper, got an idea?"

"Not really!" Dipper hissed.

"C'mon!" Mabel pleaded.

"You always got something buddy," Soos added, and Dipper spluttered.

"I-I-I don't know!" Dipper shouted.

They men stopped. They all had their guns trained on them.

What could he do? Dipper was a good student, but Mabel, his teacher thus far, was still far better than he, and was asking for his input. How could he know what to possibly do? He had no idea! Fighting against pistol packing guards had been one thing- these guys had strategized and planned. Now, in the middle of the street, Dipper could only pray.

He needed a miracle.

His mind reeled as ideas and theories came flooding back into his mind. Miracles weren't really something he needed.

"Dipper?" Wendy quietly asked. He glanced to her. The bullet holes in her body tore at his own. They didn't bleed- reverted by magic... then it made sense.

What he needed was _magic_.

Dipper lowered his hands, and reached back into his mind. He needed something now, something physical. Something that could cause a scene, something to escape. Anything to get away.

Then again... there was one he remembered. Dangerous, possibly lethal, and dramatic. It was what he needed for everyone to escape.

"Cover me," Dipper muttered to his allies.

"What?" Wendy asked as she glanced over her shoulder, eyeing Dipper as he began to mumble.

"_Corpus... levitus_," Dipper mumbled slowly, doing his best to be deliberate in his choice. Magic had been their undoing, and it would be their salvation now.

The closest of the men stood before them, and raised his gun. With a sullen, careless tone, he called to them. "The twins come with us. Anything else you do gets someone killed. Any questions?"

"Yeah!" Wendy shouted. "You can suck a knob!"

The man raised his gun to her as quick as he might have just as merely sneezed. It was natural. However, no gunshot came. She suddenly fell, forward as a figure slowly ascended behind him.

Covered in a black cloak, silver scarred mask, and holding a shimmering starry-like spear, the Gaurdsman stood up, looking to the group. "Fools," he said, his dark and monotone voice carrying to the other men.

"New target!" the closest man shouted. "Engage-"

As the seven other men had all spun to face the man in black, there were suddenly twenty five other figures. Jumping onto the roofs, behind the men in the street, from behind cars, bushes, fences- there was within moments, a huge brawl.

Dipper and Mabel watched as, without a doubt, they witnessed the most conclusive battle they had ever witnessed. The mercenaries had little time to react as each one was struck again and again from different opponents from different angles. Shoved aside, kicked up, punched down, all of the hostile forces to the Pines and their allies quickly fell in a matter of moments. Not a single bullet more had been fired.

Soon, eight unconscious bodies sat on the ground. The mercenaries had been beaten in a mere flash.

"The Paths are back! No one stops the forces of good!" a voice called over next to the Guardsman as a boy no older than Dipper and Mabel raced over to the Guardsman. Black hair and wearing a long, dusty and worn leather trench jacket, the kid raised an enthusiastic hand to the masked figure. "Up high!" he proclaimed. The Guardsman stared, his face entirely masked. "Uh... no?" he said, slowly lowering the hand, "oh. Okay," he sighed, pocketing the hand and walking aside. He adjusted a strap to what seemed to be a guitar case along his back.

"So these are the targets," another voice called as the crowed gathered around the twins and their friends and family.

Mabel gasped as she looked around. Faces, although unfamiliar, belonged to people she had heard of before. She turned to one man, shaven bald with a sarcastic half-grin. "You're Mister Rushtar! Arline told me all about you!" The man blinked, and looked around, taken aback at Mabel's sudden outburst. She turned again, seeing a short woman with short red hair, probably in her mid-thirties, "and you! You're Maureen the Menace!"

"She knows us?" the pixie-cut red headed woman asked. "How?"

The Guardsman stepped forward, passing by the group without a fuss. "You're addressed by the unofficial student of Arline Hirsch, the Rising Phoenix." The deep words of the Guardsman shook those present, and they looked about, exchanging looks of significance.

Mabel grinned and puffed herself out. "That's right! Bonified badass here!"

The teen with the guitar case, who had been craning his head over the black-haired girl gasped. "She's one of us?"

"A member of the Path," The Guardsman nodded.

Jenson Pines leaned over to Dipper. "Dipper, are these our allies?"

"They... fought off the mercs, didn't they?" Dipper said, his jaw tightening as he stared up at the mask on Zander's face. It was once again tightly secured, giving away no secrets to the identity of the guardsman of the Paths.

"I told you I was coming to get your father and take him to safety," the Guardsman stated. "This was risky for you and your friends to come."

"I didn't have much to trust you on," Dipper grumbled.

The crowd gasped at Dipper's words. The Guardsman nodded to them.

"Clean up the evidence. We can't leave footprints," the Guardsman noted. With a weary look to the group, the men and women surrounding the six and pig split apart, pulling away the bodies and lifting them to shoulders, carried off into the shadows. As they split, the Guardsman turned back. "I told you," he snarled, emotion returning to the voice of Zander, "I was going to get your family out of here safely!"

"Well they were waiting, weren't they!" Dipper snapped back.

With a flash of his hand, Zander removed the mask. Dipper blinked, and glanced around. To his surprise, the other's had all vanished, along with the beaten mercenaries.

"Dipper, they had an ambush waiting for _you_!" he snapped. "Not your father, or your mother! You and Mabel! That's what Graupner wants! You two!"

Dipper opened his mouth in instant retaliation. Yet words failed him, and he looked away, his mouth locked shut.

"You need to realize that, for whatever reason," Zander rapidly poured out, "Graupner sees you as primary threat! He's willing to risk open confrontation in this setting to get at you! He is not the type to back down either, is he!? He'll kee coming back again and again, and if he thought that shooting your fathere here," Zander pointed at Jenson, who flinched, "then he would have!" Zander leaned back, a hand in his face as his frustration bled away.

"Dipper," he said slowly, "I... I know you don't want to like me. And... you shouldn't." Dipper glanced up to Zander, his expression softening. "I'm not asking for you to be friends with me, okay? Just help me help you save the world. Then... then you will never have to deal with me again, okay?"

"But Zander-" Mabel cried out.

"Mabel, you're free to feel how you'd like," Zander held a hand up, "but Dipper needs to make his own choices."

Dipper stared at the man before him. Tall, clad in a cloak, and without his mask, it was a stark reminder to why Dipper distrusted the man before him. Living a life of two identities and using people based on those facets. And that was just the two Dipper knew of. There could be more.

Yet the deeply tired look in those eyes did not lie to Dipper. Zander wanted peace.

Dipper extended his hand. "Partners?" he asked wearily.

Zander reached out and clasped the hand. "Partners," he nodded. As the hands broken, Zander eyed Dipper. "So what was it you were muttering? I saw you saying something earlier."

"Uh, coming up with a plan," Dipper quickly lied. Zander nodded slowly, his eyes locked on Dipper.

"Well, we're all alive," Soos piped up, "well, except Wendy."

"Soos," Wendy grumbled, "I'm not really trying to make that public knowledge."

"Oops," Mabel winced. "Sorry. Guilty here too."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Wendy," Zander added. The four looked to him. "What you're dealing with is not your fault. Remember that, okay?" he reminded her, a smile as gentle as they could have imagined grown onto his lips.

"Uh... okay," she nodded, eyeing him carefully.

"Now," Zander sighed, and brushed the front of his cloak, "let's get this over with so you guys can continue your mission."

"Wait, mission?" Jenson repeated.

"Over with?" Delilah gasped. "I've been having a blast! Well, except for the part I was nearly killed a few times."

"I'll let you two say your goodbyes. Then they need to come with me," Zander said quietly.

"Okay," Dipper solemnly nodded. Turning to his parents, he and Mabel stared up at their shaken and roused parents.

"So," Jenson said to Dipper, "I owe you an apology."

"Dad?" Dipper quietly asked.

"You were telling the truth the entire time. All of it was real," he chuckled, "wasn't it?" Dipper looked to his sister, who smirked. He merely shrugged.

"Something like that," Dipper smiled.

"I'm sorry," their father mumbled.

"Don't be," Dipper sighed, "I think if I had been you, I wouldn't have believed me either."

"That's not... well," their father cleared his throat, "I guess... yeah."

"Jen," Delilah said, "the kids saved us. They're on a mission to save the world, but as long as we can be found, we're a liability to them."

"Delilah, please," he held a hand up, "I can follow hints when I'm given them. I suppose," he turned to the revealed Gaurdsman, "we're going to follow you to some secret bunker and be safe until this is all over?"

Zander cocked an eyebrow. "Not exactly bunker, but safe, yes."

The father nodded, and swallowed. His eyes watered as in the night, he studied his two children. "How did you two grow up so fast to already be saving the world?" he asked them, his voice cracking. The twins ran forward, giving him a large hug. He let out a small, watery chuckle. "I missed these," he admitted, "three-way hugs."

"Huggles," Mabel corrected him.

He let go, wiping his eyes. "Well," he said, leaning up all the way, "I supposed we aught to let you go."

"Well, can't have mom and dad holding hands with you while you save the world, can you?" Dipper said and winked.

"Oh look at you," Mabel slapped his shoulder, "that's the sort of stuff _I_ say!"

"Mister Pines, Miss Pines," Zander nodded to the two of them, "I have my friends with a car down the road. They'll take you and get you the tickets to Wyoming."

"Wyoming?" Jenson repeated. "What's in Wyoming?"

"Nothing but cows and moose I bet," Delilah puffed.

"And safety," Zander assured them, "please." He waved them leave, and with one glanced back to the twins, the parents made their leave down the street, side by side. Zander turned back, sighing. "Well... I'm glad to see divorced parents can be civil."

"They're not bad with one another anymore," Mabel grunted, "more like cold indifference. The sort of thing Dipper's great at," she grinned devilishly at her brother.

"Well," Zander cut in as Dipper made to retaliate, "after you patch up Wendy, I've got a new place for you to go. It's a drive, so get ready."

"Joy," Dipper breathed. "Where?"

"Nevada," Zander said, and slowly placed the mask on. "There you'll find your next Starkissed. Be careful on this one. Whatever it is, it's mobile."

"Last time it was vampires," Wendy grunted, "what could be worse?" The mask of the Guardsman eyed her emotionlessly. "I can't see what face you make with that on," she grumbled.

"I don't think you ever want that question really answered. And I'd tell you if I knew. But I have work I have to do elsewhere still," Zander admitted, "because there is more than just collecting these stones to save the world from Magical destruction."

"Then we'd better not be lazy about it!" Mabel grinned. Grabbing the shoulders of Soos and Dipper, she pulled them together and smiled. "Don't worry Zander! We'll make you proud!"

The masked figure nodded, and turned away from them, the spear in his hand shrinking and thinning away until it slipped out of sight like fabric. Before long, he was gone- slipped into the night.

"So, uh," Wendy mumbled, not to be _that_ _girl_, but I'm covered in bullet holes, and I think I hear police sirens coming. We should probably..."

"Go now, yeah," Dipper nodded, and the four plus pig turned and made for their cars.

"Man," Mabel grumbled.

"What?" Dipper asked, incredulously, "we just saved mom and dad, and now they're safe! What's to whine about?"

"Dad's going to make me fix the floors _and_ the fence now," she moaned.

* * *

In the expensive downtown hotel, the door in the priciest overlook suite slammed shut, and Alvis snapped to his feet without a moment too late.

Striding into the room with a heavy pant and furious gaze, Graupner Kinley made for the closest glass on the table, and slammed it to the ground. He then roared, and shoved the table over, spilling books, apples, and silverwear to the floor. Even as the objects clattered and fell to the floor, he stood there, screaming at the mess, fury expelled onto the inanimate objects.

Alvis said nothing, instead stared at Graupner with his best composure. He would say nothing to the man unless spoken. This was still the game of master and apprentice- one he had long since become a professional at. It would be only a moment longer before Graupner had a place to act like he was in control. Finally, Gruapner held a hand to his face and sighed. He looked to Alvis, patiently awaiting him.

"Th-They lost th-them," Graupner mused with sardonic rage, "t-trained mercenaries lost t-two fifteen year olds who've had as much t-training as special k-karate!" he roared, his voice echoing about the room.

"They must have been unprepared," Alvis noted.

"Of c-c-course they were!" Gruapner shouted. "They were intercepted b-b-by the P-Paths!" Alvis turned his head directly to the Warlock. This had been a title not heard before. Graupner sighed, and again put his hand in his face, leaning on a chair he had yet to topple. "The Paths are th-these self-appointed g-guardians of elements and th-things. Martial artists who c-can learn th-the secrets of life or th-things."

"That sounds a lot like that one movie," Alvis snickered, "_Evotar- the Last Spacebender_."

"Yes, yes," Graupner nodded wearily, still slumping against the chair, "ridiculous."

Avlis noticed the posture and look of his supposed master. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You appear tired."

"Well you're wrong!" Graupner snapped, suddenly shooting up. "I'm fine! I d-don't _need_ to sleep."

"Ah," Alvis gave a small curt nod, "my apologies. I'm still ignorant to your powers."

Graupner breathed, his anger slowing. It seemed that whatever humility Alvis imposed was quickly successful against the hot-tempered spell-caster. Graupner finally stood up perfectly straight, calmed. He saw the mess he had made and smiled. "How w-went your st-study?"

"Completed," Alvis grinned.

"All of it?" Gruapner asked.

"All of them."

"Then t-tell me the c-context of a evoc-c-cation spell," Graupner demanded.

Alvis smirked. "The use of a elemental conjuration of power in it's simplest form, evocation brings forth the most primeval of elemental magical forces. Effective, but dangerous."

Graupner stood, staring at the man. "And th-the uses of b-blinking?"

"The further away it is, the more risky. Higher sight-accuracy make better blinkers, but the suggested range for a blink spell can only consist between one to sixty feet. Past that, you risk teleportation on thin air and falling from heights."

Graupner frowned as his mouth fell open. "Th-The uses of blackfire?"

"The sources recommend not using it," Alvis smirked, "too deadly. If you lose control, it can consume you."

"How?" Graupner snarled. "I g-gave you th-this assignment yesterday! There are th-thirty two b-books!"

"I have good memory," Alvis smiled as pleasantly as he could, resisting the urge to sneer.

Graupner eyed him suspiciously. Alvis restrained his own smile: times he was thankful for his grand photographic memory. It had made learning to forge signatures and remember precise passwords to the company extremely easy. Finally, the Warlock smirked. "G-Good. You'll learn fast, or at least I hope," he admitted. "I need a larger c-collection of men next t-time. A p-p-private force of t-ten was taken d-down by the paths."

"It can be arranged. Would fifty do?" Alvis asked.

"More."

"More?" Alvis repeated. "How about... a hundred?"

"More."

"More?!" Alvis gasped. Graupner stepped closer, his crystal glowing dangerously. Alvnis nodded and let his head bow. "More it will be, then. I... would suggest then, if possible, we consider finding alternatives to paying them. These mercanaries still cost us money, and the money you're talking about is, uh-"

"F-Fi-Fine! Like how?" Graupner asked.

Alvis' words stumbled. "Ah... well..." he then felt his performance reach it's best as he feigned discover. "Perhaps... creating a cult?"

Graupner stared at him. The words slipped so easily from the man's mouth that it could have been the guess on the soon-to-be-weather. Yet Graupner slowly smiled. His scarred eye squeezed itself as his mouth became an ear-to-ear leer. "Yeah," Graupner nodded, "A c-c-cult sounds p-p-p- ugh- Per-p-per-"

"Perfect?" Alvis suggested.

Graupner glared at him. "Yes. That."

"Maybe then," Alvis reached over to the fallen books, and lifted one of the older texts, "we could begin with someone who knows a thing or two about cultish expectations?"

"What d-do you mean?" Graupner asked.

Alvis grinned, and opened the page. "We can ask an expert."

In the pages before Graupner, a large pentagram laid encased in a multi-symbol circle before him, and a triangle sat firmly in the center of the page, a single eye open and soullessly staring ahead. One word stood out in the masses of text: _Demon_.

* * *

Like many characters, this wont be the last of the Parent Pines. That being said, we won't be seeing them for a while. Season 3 is a long story of growing and surviving, and the Parents have their own journey to take now.

I feel like I just had a repeat of Episode 3 from Season 1. Every time Graupner gets his work in, dark things happens. Cuts Dipper, tries killing people at a convention, burns Dipper, and now shoots Wendy with angry mercs. I swear, this guy is just trouble. And now, Alvis is starting to inspire and be inspired. A feedback loop of evil inspiration! D:

So, for those of you wondering, yes, I'm going to be contacting those who were interested in my audio-recreation of this story. Expect by the end of the week solid answers regarding the creation process.

Next episode will be taking a step back into some more ridiculous stuff. Also, for the FIRST TIME EVER, the twins are not the main characters. I'll give you three guesses as to who the main two are going to be in the upcoming episode. Just as feely, especially since we're getting some different perspectives, but no shortage of zaniness in the upcoming "Home, Home on the Rage."

(A stampede of Bison flatten EZB utterly. Spoilers. Oops.)

* * *

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**-AND-**

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	69. Home, Home on the Rage: Part 1

Between the realms of grand mountains and vast deserts lay a small and fertile valley. This valley had always been the birth place to the powerful and respected American Bison. Great flowers blossomed and rivers ran from the solitary peak of the Moody Mountain, a tall and rocky mountain in the middle of this plain. It was a testament to the power of nature; that time itself could always craft beauty from the wastes around it, and such effort took patience and-

"Fire in the hole!"

Approximately three hundred square feet of dirt and flower found themselves skyrocketed in a single moment as a construction worker pressed the plunger and ignited the explosives laid carefully around a large patch of earth.

The dirt and torn flowers raining down as harmless dust, a large, portly figure with a wide straw hat walked forward. "Well, now, that just 'bout do it. That'd be the space needed for the new sewage linin'. Sir, you may have your men get to work."

"Yes sir," a tall, built man with a construction hat behind him nodded. He turned and whistled behind him, and near immediately, a crew of a dozen workers came closer, wielding tools and driving tractors closer.

"Finally," the man in the straw hat said, patting dust from his shoulders, "I can bring this backwater town into a something of a more modern and enjoyable light." A flower from the blow-to-sky patch of land fell into his breast pocket, and he paused. A warm chuckle later, he patted the flower and said, "well, if that don't mean fate's welcoming me into this old land, I don't know what is."

Turning away from the working hole in the ground, he started strolling away towards the starts of a small, old-west town. Wooden buildings and a lack of paved roads gave the frontier town it's timeless charm. That very charm seemed to affront the wide-bellied man walking towards the town saloon, who grumbled at the sight of those in town wearing period piece material. Stepping past the swinging doors, the older man sighed.

"My boy, you'll be the death of me," he mumbled, reaching into his jacket and retrieving a small picture. Staring into the three figures, the hatted man finally removed his hat and held it aside. He stared at the younger him, and his younger wife. Held by the two of them precariously was their son, a child of naturally white hair at a very young age. The child in question in the picture was tearing at the hat on his father's head while trying to simultaneously leap out of his mother's grip.

"Gideon, you better be havin' better luck," the father grumbled as he fell into the seat in the saloon. "This plan of yours is costin' a fortune."

"Bud!"

The picture was stuffed away quickly. A smaller man with a wide moustache approached the large man, a grin to match the moon's atop his cheeks. Bud Gleeful returned the smile with his own patented grin.

"Mayor Jordan," Bud Gleeful nodded to him, "it's lovely to see you this morning."

"Quite the commotion in town today," the man with wide moustache asked Bud, twirling the hairs on one end. "People sayin' you aint givin' into no superstition."

"You heard correctly," Bud nodded firmly, "I've dealt with mystics in my life, and I can tell you with certainty, the one outside town is no _real_ seer. Compared to my son, that is."

"Well, it's great to see someone still cares about Darkbark," the man said, and waved for the man to follow. Bud lifted himself up with only the smallest of grunts, and followed. "This town has sat in the shadow of a city of lights and vice for too long. It's about time we showed the folk of the world," the Mayor said as he and Bud pushed out the swinging doors and into the street, "the charm of the old world."

"I couldn't agree more! And with my families addition of new-world amenities, like real plumbing," Bud reminded him, "there won't be a tourist in the world that wouldn't spend a wallet or two for several nights in the neighborhood! Why," Bud nudged him, "we may even need to consider building a hotel for all the guests to stay in."

"Oh my! Wouldn't that be a treat!" the Mayor gasped and clapped a hand to his chest, "to think, this old feel place with enough visitors to gander a hotel of sorts?" he smiled. "I don't know how you ain't a millionaire yet!"

Bud Gleeful chuckled, and then glared at the sunset. "Me neither, mayor. Me neither."

As the Mayor subdued his laughter, the scant people of town paused. The Ground was trembling.

"Oh darn it," Bud grumbled, "if this is another infernal earthquake come to put us behind schedule-"

"I… I don't think so, Mister Gleeful," the Mayor gulped, staring off into the horizon. "Oh no!" he gasped, pointing far in the distance. "They're coming again!" he turned and hollered into town, "EVERYBODY INSIDE! THEY'RE A COMING!"

"Now, hold on Mayor," Bud desperately turned, trying to reach out for the much-shorter man than he, "I wouldn't be so hasty on that. It could just be another… "he turned, watching as the workers out by the new patch of cleared earth abandoned their posts and fled for their lives. The rumbling only grew stronger. Finally the hatted man gave in as the cloud of dust was large enough to block out the entire horizon. He turned and ran for the Saloon, where many others charged into.

No sooner had he reached inside and turned around had the cloud of dust arrived. The light faded slowly, and the thunder that came with became overwhelmingly loud. Those nearby with smaller frames and heads held their ears as the noise arrived. Bud winced, but listened carefully, aware he could hear something.

Someone inside the dust cloud was speaking. Someone unseen.

"This one! Bust it up!"

With a cry of approval, there was a loud 'thwack' and a shattering of glass.

"Yeah! Take that!"

Another loud crash.

"Using horns is too mainstream! Let's use baseball bats!"

"Yeah, okay Talon, trying a little too hard. Just hit their car."

"Oh. Like this?"

Thwack. Crash.

"Yeah! That'll show them!"

"Yeah!"

A trumpeting bellow, deep and as terrible as the earth splitting into two, echoed through the air like thunder. Bud watched, peering past the now filthy windows as the dust slowly dissipated. He turned towards windows watching the outskirts of town, and saw the dust cloud moving away.

Within moments, those who had taken cover in town slowly filtered out into the trampled streets. In the street, left a ruin, was a fancy and now crumbled in roadster.

"My car!" the Mayor cried out, rushing towards the vehicle.

"My husband!" a woman cried out, running into the middle of the street, "he was one of the workers! Has anyone seen him?"

"My caaarrrr," the Mayor wined, terrified of touching the absolute wreck that his prized vehicle had become.

"Sir," the woman approached bud, "you've seen him, right?" Bud said nothing, keeping his eyes on the horizon, towards the vanishing cloud of dust. The woman cried behind him, holding her hands in her face.

"You try me, whatever ya'll think you are," Bud gritted his teeth as he spoke quietly, glaring at the vanished dust cloud. "I'll get this job done, and then you'll see who's the real powerhouse 'round here. I don't care how I do it, but if it means I have to work alongside the devil, Buddha, or my mortal enemies on earth, I will get this job done!" he roared, waving his clutched hat into the air.

* * *

"Almost done!" Wendy cried.

"Good," Dipper shivered, "this is freaky enough."

"C'mon dude," her voice echoed from around the back of his car, "I'm just taking 'em out. Nothing crazy."

"Except for the part that half of them are in places that should have killed you," Soos also pointed out, sitting next to Dipper with Waddles. "That's at least a little weird," he tacked on.

Far off the beaten path, next to a long dirt road that seemingly went on forever into the wilderness of the plains, the two cars and motorcycle had come to a stop. It had been a nearly entire night of driving, and after switching drivers, Wendy insisted on finally doing something she felt she had to do- remove the bullets wedged into her body. Soos had been kind enough to offer his personal tools, with the promise she washed them later. Mabel was asleep in the back seat of Dipper's car, her mouth drooped open and sprawled about wildly.

"And… there!" Wendy declared loudly, the clatter of a solid bullet clattering to the dusty ground announcing her success. "Ahh, that feels so much better."

"I bet," Soos nodded, "like having bracers in or something."

"It is a preferable method of torture. Just ask Mabel," Dipper said, looking to Soos.

Wendy, standing behind the car, slowly lowered the tweezers Soos had loaned to her. She was alone, as was insisted earlier, seeing as how in order to remove the bullets successfully, she needed to remove the clothing in the way. Topless and finally without bullets in her body, she looked down, feeling the skin around her wounds. In a rapid and supernatural way, the wounds finally closed up. She would never admit to it, but the sight of her invulnerability was a thrill, even if the cost was constant pain of fatigue, hunger, and thirst, and the thrumming in her head that never left, no matter how long she closed her eyes.

Clapping the bra on first, she wrapped her flannel shirt back around her shoulders, only to feel the wind hit her skin. "Wha?" she asked, and looked down. "Oh. Dang it," she grumbled, easily fitting a finger into the bloodied holes in her shirt. "I'm decent," she called out, and yet the inner coils of her decency cried for a mild amount of reprimand, "but we need to get me shopping. I look like the feakin' Terminator."

"You are the terminator," Soos said.

"Just less Austrian," Dipper nodded.

Placing the tools into Soos's satchel, she walked around the car, and found the two staring in the total opposite direction of her. She snorted. "Guys," she called to them, and they both turned, "I'm good?"

"Dipper wanted us to be sure we wouldn't peek," Soos claimed, only to find a heel jam onto his foot. "I-I mean, uh, we saw prairie dogs. Super cute!"

"Good cover," Wendy snorted at the two, adjusting her shirt with a quick shrug.

"I thought so," Soos nodded.

Her eyes focused ahead, on the distant horizon. It struck her; the vast emptiness. "It's so… weird," she muttered.

"Ah, the flats of America," Soos rubbed his hands together as he deflated and moved from Dipper, "devoid of forests, mountains, and logging camps. Instead, they're filled with cows, lost hipsters, and tumbleweeds." As Soos patted his arms together, held across his chest, a small tumbleweed rolled by. "My research is rock-solid," Soos proclaimed proudly, lifting his chin an inch higher.

"Your research tell us where this road really leads to?" Wendy turned to him, thumb over her shoulder to the long, void road.

"Nope," he shrugged.

"If Zander isn't hiding anything from us again," Dipper spoke up, "this takes us to some small town called Darkbark. It just sits in the middle of the wilderness, a small-time tourist attraction like Gravity Falls was, except with, like, even _less_ to see."

"Were it possible," Wendy chuckled.

"If the land they built the town on is anything like this," Dipper pointed around himself to the horizon, "it is possible."

"And we know nothing about what's at the end, waiting for us," Soos happily reminded them, "the usual."

There was a soft rattle against the car wind-shield. Turning, the three saw a recently awaken Mabel- her hair messy and tangled and her eyes droopy and clouded with fatigue. She rested her knuckles against the glass, and winked to them.

"She's ready to keep going," Dipper explained. Silently, Mabel rapidly nodded her head.

"Well," Soos yawned and stretched his hands above his head, "let's get going dudes."

The two gentlemen strode back to the cars as Mabel scrambled her way into the driver seat. As the first door opened, Dipper stopped, staring ahead. "Wendy?" he called.

The blinked. Her eyes had frozen in Mabel's face. With a shake of her head, she smirked. "Sorry, was just dazing," she waved a hand to them, and turned to the bike. The moment they could no longer see her face, her grin fell. It was taxing to smile so frequently.

Especially when she felt as she did.

The bike spurred to life, and the bike lead the way with the two cars tailing behind. Riding atop the buzzing engine that proudly hummed while speeding away, Wendy frowned, staring ahead.

She hated the way Mabel looked. No. That wasn't it. Wendy shuddered and blinked. It wasn't that Mabel looked tired, it was that she was allowed to act like she was in front of Wendy. Then again-

Wendy growled and bit gently on her lip. It was a horrible feeling in her stomach as she realized how selfish it was to assume that just because she had issues that everyone had to act differently in front of her. Baring the curse of the Wraith was a difficult burden, and the greatest stressor was watching others capable of dealing with their own perfectly natural problems. What was worse is when they complained about it.

She could not eat to stave her hunger; it just made her stomach clench and seize. She couldn't drink to spare her from thirst; her throat would tighten and her mouth would go dry. If she dared to close her eyes long enough to try and sleep, a spiraling abyss of mind-tearing deepness would well in her inner eye. There was no escape from the pains of the inability to rest and replenish. The best way was to distract herself. If she was able to forget that she was... inhuman, she could forget what pulled her down. She could escape the pain.

Riding a bike through a desert in the west of America, for once in a long time seeing not a sight of green in her field of vision more than three feet tall... that was refreshing. More to her than she could imagine. A solid minute passed, seeing the long, straight road ahead of her, and Wendy just... closed her eyes. She let the washing air pass around her, and she was drowned in the blare of tearing wind, roaring motor, and spewing gravel.

Eventually the whipping wind and winding road through gentle hills came to peak around one large round, and the three vehicles were then in sight of the town. Darkwood. The town was scant large than the interior of Gravity Falls' downtown main street. It was made of only four small, dirt, main roads, and nearly all the buildings seemed to have survived since the mid-nineteenth century. There were scant cars, and many of the trucks present were severely outdated. Wendy craned her body around, looking back to Mabel and Dipper.

The twins in the car seemed to be discussing the town as well. Wendy could nearly make out their lip movement, seeing how Dipper was less than enthused- resembling Wendy's enthusiasm. To no one in particular's surprise, Mabel was terribly excited. Her eyes lit up as she scoured the town, looking about as she drove some forty feet behind Wendy.

Moments turned to minutes, and soon the three vehicles slowed their approach until they found a dusty, wood-fenced parking lot next to town that displayed rusted trucks fit for a beat-down farmer. Tossing her hair gently behind her, Wendy finally stood off the bike, and turned to the others. The twins climbed out of the car as Soos made his way over, followed in part by a pink pig.

"Oh wow, Wendy," Mabel gasped, "you look radical."

"Huh?" she asked. Mabel made her pointed by hastily approaching and poking Wendy's stomach. "Oh yeah," Wendy shrugged, "should probably get me some clothes that are a bit more, uh resistant?"

"To bullets?" Dipper asked, his eyebrows raising.

"We have infinite money," Wendy shrugged.

"Unless these farmers hunt with fully-automatic machine guns, I don't see us finding Kevlar here," Dipper pointed out.

"Or maybe there's some sort of old-school, old-wives tale, old-west trick that makes you immune to bullets!" Mabel declared.

"Yeah, hambone!" Soos nodded, "I think they called it 'dodging'," he mused earnestly. "Sounds impossible, if you ask me."

"Nothing is impossible," Mabel informed with deadly assurance, her eyes wide and pupils dilated, "with... money," she held up the 'magical' credit card of untold cash. "Let's go get Wendy some clothes first!"

"Shopping on the job," Soos nervously said as the four began to walk towards the first road, "I dunno. Maybe we should split up and look into-"

"Soos, we could get you a new tool here," Mabel pointed out.

"Or maybe a jacket of your own," Dipper added. "I'd like one with spurs."

"Really?" Wendy eyed him.

"...Uh, no," Dipper suddenly blushed, "no, I was just joking. Spurs are... not for me."

"I think I'd like a good belt," Soos nodded to himself, "something that can let me always carry my tools around- or at least one or two good ones, you know?" he asked, an uncertain shrug following his words.

"Dude, of course!"

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

"We will buy you the coolest, most sparkly, glittered belt in existence."

"Oh wow, you guys are awesome," Soos smiled.

Walking into the main street, they found a strange sight. A single car, easily having been the most modern of all cars present with an eighties sports car style, was bent and crumpled horribly. The flashes of red, yellow, and orange paint had been torn and scratched by, what the four could see, as a number of base-ball bats on the ground around the car. A single man, wearing flamboyant cowboy gear and matching wide-brimmed hat cried on it's nearly caved-in hood.

"It wasn't 'sposed to be you, darlin'," he whispered to the car, "you was just an innocent victim. I'm so sorry they touched you like that," he cried, his grief so taken that his tears fell like a forever falling river.

"Man, what happened there?" Wendy asked to the others, leaning into the twins and Soos.

"Baseball bats... dented car..." Soos analyzed, and then snapped his fingers, "clearly we're looking at un-sportsman like conduct."

"Exactly," Mabel agreed.

"It's probably some sort of gang activity," Dipper mumbled, ignoring Soos' and Mabel's ideas. "Gangs around here may not be able to afford any kind of stuff. Maybe baseball bats is all they can afford."

"Let's just keep an eye on that, right?" Wendy firmly said as the four walked by the mourning man. As they pushed around him, Wendy spotted a shop. "There!" she pointed ahead. "Gift shop. T-Shirts and belts. Man, just what we need."

"I hope they have scorpions and centipedes in candy pops!" Mabel exclaimed as they made for the small wooden shop, "I've wondered if the bug is still alive inside the candy, so you get to play god to this small, helpless creature."

"Morbid. What'd you do?" Soos asked with vested curiosity.

"Naturally, I'd toy with it and then let it go, just so it knows who's boss," Mabel explained with a shrug.

"I think they die when you pour boiling hot candy on them," Wendy said to Mabel.

"You'd think that," Soos shrugged, "but we once saw a living T-Rex embalmed in a massive stalagmite of pure tree-sap, and it was totally alive still."

Wendy paused, watching the three walk ahead. "...you guys met a living T-Rex once?" she asked in a broken voice. They moved on ahead, missing her question. "Man," she mumbled, rushing to catch up, "the things I missed."

Walking up with the three others, Wendy found herself at the tail of the group. The small shop had the classic swinging hinged doors of paneled wood. The still doors then flung open as a clearly local duo walked out. Two ladies, wearing heavy and long dresses stepped out, fanning themselves with small collapsible and frilled fans.

"Good day ladies!" Soos nodded his head to them.

The two women nearly stalled in their place. They eyed Soos, tiniest amount of discontent with his addressing them. Then they spotted Wendy, and she frowned. That discontent followed to her. Yet, before she could say her snarky remark, they looked to the twins... and their eyes widened.

"Hiya!" Mabel waved.

With a loud cough, one of the two pushed her friend away. "'Scuse us," she muttered quickly.

"Okay! Have a nice one Cow-girls!" Mabel waved after them, her wide smile never betraying her warmest of graces. "Huh. People are so shy around here. Cute!" she added.

"Yeah," Wendy mumbled, "Shy..."

She turned back to walk in with Soos and Mabel, who had made their attempts to step inside with no resistance. Then she spotted Dipper. He too was staring, watching the quickly leaving duo as they raced across the street, hiking their dresses up a few inches. His face held that stern, solid frown: a look she had come to understand as 'studying'.

"Dipper?" Wendy asked.

"They looked at us funny," Dipper muttered to her.

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, "gave you that 'ew' kinda glance."

"I mean, maybe... it looked more like they..." Dipper glanced to her, and then back to the two leaving ladies. "Nevermind," he shook his head, and walked inside after his sister.

The inside of the corner shop was, to Wendy's surprise, eerily similar to the Mystery Manor. Wooden panels of aged and worn walls meshed horribly with a sloppy collection of messy and apparently second-hand souvenirs. The cashier, a young man around the same age as the twins, leaned with absolute lack of care while pouring into a magazine.

"Welcome to Knick-Knacks and stuff," the man called over, his words bumbling over one another as he barely opened his mouth.

"Thanks!" Mabel waved back to him, "got any cool clothes in shop today?" she asked with a smile.

"No," he grumbled.

"Well, we'll have a look around anyway!" Mabel cheered. The boy finally peeked an eye up, and blinked. Mabel turned away, and quickly spotted a collection of clothing racks. "Oh! There!" she rushed over, grabbing Wendy's hand and pulling her away.

"Whoa! Down Mabel, down girl!" Wendy laughed as she slid across the floor and found herself by a mis-matched flurry of varying clothing.

"Now, let's see," Mabel quickly grabbed a dozen shirts and dresses, "we got to get you all situated. Same with Soos!" Mabel added, looking to the handyman, who was staring at the shop with wide eyes from the door. "I mean, Dipper and I got a bunch of extra clothes since we stayed over for the summer. But you two need stuff!"

"Mabel, dude," Wendy rolled her eyes, "I just need like a jacket. Like," she reached over to a different rack and pulled out a leather jacket, "this one."

"Ohh! Actually, not bad!" Mabel grinned, "now we need to get you like, metal chains or something!"

"Metal chains?" Wendy lowered the jacket slightly.

"Yeah! To complete the 'badass biker' look," Mabel grinned.

"How about just the jacket?" she asked. "Besides, I'm not sure they sell full sets of heavy metal chains."

"Hmm... good point. Okay, just the jacket! For now at least," Mabel added.

Wendy grinned, and then saw Dipper approach from behind, his eyes at the door. As her experience had taught her, he was now going through less of a 'Study' and more of a 'formulate' state in his mind. Mabel looked to Wendy, and saw the look in her friends face, only to turn and find Dipper at her back.

"What?" she asked.

"I got a bad feeling," Dipper mumbled quietly.

"Dude, what?" Mabel put her hands at her hips, an impressive feat consider she still held six pieces of clothing in each hand. Dipper's eyes flickered to Wendy, a hesitation in his mind.

Wendy nodded silently. "One sec Mabel," Wendy stated loudly, "going to see what's taking Soos," she said, and laid her soon-to-be owned jacket on her shoulder.

As she walked away, hearing Dipper speak to Mabel in whispered tones, her mind bit at her trust again. Dipper wouldn't openly enter forum with Wendy around. Maybe it was just her mind, always torn with exhaustion that she could never cure, but the idea that Dipper could be so invested in her, and yet still withhold like that... it made her angry. Her teeth clamped down tighter than usual, feeling pressure build.

No, she was just over-reacting to things again. Stress of her situation and a minor thing. She could handle it. Dipper was just being a little paranoid; nothing new there. Finally her mind was taken away by Soos, who had gone to sit by a bent wooden bench.

Before she could even ask, she could instantly see his feelings. He was slouching in the seat, his eyes to the floor and his elbows resting on his legs. His cap was pulled over his face just a few inches lower than needed.

"Hey," Wendy quietly said, "you okay, bud?"

Soos shot up, and a plastic smile was worn.

"Yeah!" he nodded, "totally fine, dude. No problem here. Why would there be a problem here? There isn't one," he assured her in machine gun words.

"You're not doing a good job convincing me," Wendy told him.

"Oh," Soos said, his smile vanishing, revealing a neutral and open expression. He chuckled. "I guess I never was good at that, huh?"

"No man," Wendy gave him a small smile. "You're better at being truthful dude. What's up?" she asked him.

Soos sat down again, his back leaning on the rest of the bench. Words seemed difficult for him, as he looked around. His eyes lingered on posters and signs that offered deals. After a few moments of silence, he finally said, "It all reminds me of Mister Pine's place."

Wendy sighed and turned about. He wasn't wrong. As the second longest employee to work at the Mystery Shack turned Manor, it was eerily similar. Everything was... the same. Change the context from mystery to Cowboys and Indians, the eyes in jars with geodes and smoothed off rocks, and change herself leaning on the counter with a magazine with the bow, who was staring at the twins.

"Yeah," Wendy mumbled, "it really is dude." She found herself falling into the seat, and with a loud 'flump', she sat next to Soos. "Only," she nudged him, "they don't repair damages as well as you did," she said, pointing to a piece of wood that was bending out of the floor, held down by a thin and hpa-hazard piece of duct-tape.

"At least they got the first step right," Soos shrugged. Wendy and him both chuckled. "Good start."

Wendy smiled, and looked to her long time co-worker. There was a longing in his eyes that spoke more than his own shadowed words. "You miss him, don't you?" Wendy asked.

Soos nodded. His face fell slightly, yet a smile grew. "I just saw this shop, and was like, 'Oh! Mister Pines would love it if I stole some ideas'," he exclaimed, "but... I can't tell him anything I find, can I?" Soos asked Wendy. "Because he's gone now."

Wendy turned away. Soos was easily the jolliest person that Wendy had ever met in her life. Hiding behind his eyes was, probably for the first time in her life, enough pain to match hers. And he kept it bottled in his mind. That kind of reflection shocked her. She could see it, nearly manifesting as a shimmer of light in his colored irises.

Instead, she stared at the ground and nodded. "Yeah. They're all gone," she nodded.

"Sometimes," Soos said quietly, "when we nap on the road, I still see them. You know, at Gravity Falls." Wendy looked to him, her eyes blank. "Oh," Soos pulled back, "Sorry. You don't... oh dude, my bad." Wendy shrugged, and turned away, her own mood crushed.

Another benefit of dreaming she could not experience- finding people again she could not _actually_ see.

She stood up suddenly. "We need to stay distracted," Wendy informed him. "C'mon, we can see if there's any other shop we should stop by before we get to business."

"Sure!" Soos said, and quickly lifted himself to his feet. "Former employees unite!"

"Nothing former, as far as I'm concerned," Wendy patted his shoulder, and turned to the doors. Before she could push them open, she saw someone coming towards them. Her body froze.

She recognized the man. Soos paused next to her, apparently aware of her frozen stature.

"Dude? What's up?" he asked, and turned. Peering out, he said, "Now, who's-" His mouth dropped open, "Uh-oh," he managed to say.

The two saw him approaching, a forward march that hid no sense of intent. He was driven, and his eyes were glazed with anger. But the two, more than anything else, recognized his wear and body. Horrible tropical shirt of pink and yellow, plain but dirtied dress pants, and a wide straw hat. Thick arms rocked back and forth as he marched closer, and his massive chin wobbled back and forth with his sway. His face, screwed up, presented a pair of buckteeth that made Soos's look mild and easily passable. Flanking his back, the two dressed ladies followed behind.

"We need to leave now," Wendy decided.

"Three billion percent behind that decision," Soos nodded. "

The two spun away from the door and made to the twins, who were quietly busing in mid-debate.

"But if they did recognize us," Dipper told her.

"Who would actually know us?" Mabel rolled her eyes. "I think if jerkface McGee was here, he would have, like, crazy assassins or whatever."

"Graupner may change his strategy," Dipper scolded her.

"I got other news dudes," Soos spoke up, "we, like, should go."

"Go?" Mabel whined, "but I haven't found the perfect match! Also, Soos," Mabel held out a belt with fashioned bullet holders, "A Soos Handyman belt! Perfect, right?! And no luck on the chains yet, Wendy."

"Forget the chains, man," Wendy waved to the door, "we've got company."

"I told you!" Dipper reprimanded his sister. With a heavy sigh, he asked, "how many?"

"One," She told him. He blinked. She added, "and it's not who you think it is."

"Huh?" The twins blinked.

Behind Soos and Wendy, the doors opened up with a loud clatter. A voice filled with southern fury called out. "Pines! I know you're here!"

Wendy and Soos moved aside, splitting the view wide. The twins saw him just as the two did for the second time. With the four facing him, the twins gasped.

"You!?" Mabel gasped. "Gideon's dad!"

"Bud Gleeful," Dipper announced, his words keen and sharp.

"The Pines Twins," Bud Gleeful grumbled, taking a few wide steps into the shop, "I heard you were in my town."

"Heard, huh?" Dipper repeated, glaring at the two ladies, who behind Gleeful were more than comfortable.

"Yes. Thank you ladies," Bud turned to the two women, and nodded. "You've been very helpful." They nodded and smiled to him, and then quickly left the shop, clattering with their heels out. "Now you two- oh, four. You two, I recognize you!" he pointed to Wendy and Soos. "Stanford's workers."

"Actually, it's 'Stanley'," Soos pointed out.

"If you say so," Bud shrugged, and then glared at them, "I should have known that Pines would come after me, even after we left town for good!"

"What?" the twins gasped in unison.

"Dude, we're here on our own time," Wendy scorned.

"Yeah, had no idea you were even here," Soos added.

"And if we did," Dipper scowled, "you wouldn't be worth our time. We're on a tight schedule."

"Good," Bud nodded, his jaw tightened, "then you can see yourself out of my town."

"Your town!?" the pines repeated.

"Well, not yet," he adjusted his shirt's collar, "but with the sad excuse of this town's Mayor, I'll be the town sweetheart in a month only, and then-" he held himself. Removing his hat, he scratched the back of his head, where traces of hair remained. "I should have been mayor. Look, I don't much care for ya'll. Frankly, if I could, I'd force you out right now," he warned them, "but as I'm just a town life force, I'm going to put this as a 'polite offer'. Get moving before I find a legal reason to kick you four outta town."

Dipper took a step forward. "We'll leave when we find what we came for. In fact," he looked to the three around him, "I bet you have something to do with whatever is going on around here!"

"Excuse me?!" Bud barked.

Dipper pointed to him. "You and Gideon always were close to the source of the trouble-"

"Or were the problem!" Mabel added.

"And we know something is going on around here. We're not leaving until we find out what!" Dipper decided.

"Yeah!" Wendy folded her arms together, "good luck forcing us to move too."

"Yeah! Because I'm a pretty heavy dude. Like, maybe not as heavy as you, but like pretty big," Soos shrugged.

A vein in Bud's temple twitched. Straightening up, he reached inside and pulled out his phone. Dialing once, he spoke to the phone. "I need the boys in the Knick Knack shop. Got some unhappy, unpleasant customers who think this town is a dump. Need them tossed out. Willing to pay more for those who don't care about hitting teens," he added.

"Boss," the phone called back, "we've got trouble on our end."

Bud shouted at the device. "I'm not paying you to tell me what I can and can't do!" yet he calmed, and turned away from the four. "Okay, what's wrong?!" he hissed.

"They're coming back!"

Bud growled audibly. "Gosh dangit! Again!? That's twice in one day!"

"It's coming again!?" the teen at the counter gasped. He rapidly left his seat and rushed towards the windows, where he began to put up storm shutters.

"Then get the guys away from the construction sight and send 'em home 'till they leave!" Bud shouted. He closed his phone, and laid it back into a pocket. "Not again, gosh dangit!" he turned back, to the four. "I'll deal with you four later."

"What's going on?!" Dipper demanded. "Something in town not going the way you want it to?" he asked forwardly.

Bud ignored him, and made for the door. Dipper and Mabel, only exchanging a quick glance, followed suit. Wendy grumbled and also followed with Soos.

Outside, people were staring down the one road they came in town with, and some began to scream and holler. Bud was before them, trying to spot someone through those retreating.

Wendy stopped looking around. Her senses were abuzz. The air seemed to vibrate. Then she realized it wasn't just the air. The solid, dusty ground beneath her was quietly vibrating. Shaking. It was so small, yet she could feel each cell in her body worrying about this sense. It was danger.

"Guys," Mabel spoke up, "does the ground seem 'shaky' to you?"

"Uh, no?" Dipper said..

"I'm just clumsy, so it always is," Soos said.

"Yes," Wendy nodded firmly.

"Well, two out of four is-" Dipper said, and then paused. The four finally looked to the ground. Pebbles were trembling, shaking on their own accord. The air thrummed with a distant rumble, growing stronger. "Okay. I take it back. I feel that."

"Same. Like when my stomach is-" Soos gasped, "is the ground hungry?!"

"They're coming back!" Bud roared, his massive body acting as a siren for those not yet aware of the coming danger. "Ya'll get inside!"

At the end of town, the four saw it racing for them. A huge cloud of dust and debris of torn earth. Something was billowing into town. Bud spun around, pushing his way past the four and darted back inside the shop. The ground was practically in mid-earthquake now, and the very edge of town was touched by the cloud.

"Inside!" Dipper shouted. Mabel darted with him away quickly, and Soos followed behind.

Wendy stayed behind just a moment longer. The cloud of red and brown was... beautiful. She had seen it on television and movies before- the billowing wall of air and dirt that enveloped all it touched, but never in person. It mystified her. With a jolt, she realized she was still standing outside the shop, and the billowing cloud was half way to her. Retreating backwards to the shop, she stepped away, never turning her eyes from the sight.

Then it arrived, coating the entire sky with the blanket of thin tan.

"What is it!?" Dipper asked to Bud, who's fearful eyes remained glued onto the dust outside. He never spoke, only sweat falling from his face.

"Aliens!" Soos exclaimed.

"Dust elementals," Mabel said with quiet certainty.

Yet Wendy frowned, listening carefully, still closest to the door. "No," she shook her head. Her ears picked up something. Maybe it was the strange clarity of her wraith-condition, but she saw and heard things that no one else seemed to. To her friends and Bud, and the rest of town, it was a blur of tan, brown, and red as waves of dust flowed throughout the air.

To her, she saw shapes. Messes of bold shadows; large as cars, furry, and horned. Loud hoofs clattered in the dirt. Then, to her shock as well as the three behind her, someone spoke in the dirt.

"Find another car! We're going to bash it in!" the voice, deep and dangerous proclaimed.

"Got one! It looks old!"

"This'll show 'em!"

Thwack! Crash!

Wendy watched what no one else could see. At least a dozen figures, each much larger than a human, stood on hind legs and held... baseball bats. Each of them took a swing at the car, smashing in metal and glass without concern.

"Hah! That'll teach them!"

"Yeah! Maybe _now_ they'll reconsider!"

"Alright boys!" a voice cried out, the same dangerous, low tone, "I feel like we're done! Back to the mountain!"

With an overwhelming cry, the voices in the dust cried out, "Yeee-haawwww!"

Before the entirety of hoofs vanished, Wendy heard over the thunder, "You all better get out of town, or else we'll come back and break something other than a car! Hah!"

The dust picked up yet again. Billowing into the shop gently, those inside behind Wendy stepped back, but she stared out. The figures had gotten back onto all fours, leaving behind their weapons and stampeded away.

A few long, quiet minutes later, the dust had settled. Wendy was first to step outside. She calmly walked out into the middle of the street, staring down into the dirt.

There were hooves the size of her face everywhere.

"And there's old Jone's truck," Bud Gleeful's voice quietly came from behind her. "Good thing he don't drive. Can't see anything anyway. Probably thinks it looks brand new or something."

"Jeesh," the three made it to Wendy, examining the car, "talk about anger issues."

"So it is a gang of angered, supernaturally charged baseball players," Mabel patted Soos' arm. "Nice guess dude."

"Just luck, Hambone," Soos grinned.

"It's not Baseball players," Wendy called out, and pointed to the ground. The moment the three feet were around her, she said, "hooves. Unless there's a whole team of cows or something out there-"

"Minotaurs," Dipper gasped. The three turned to him.

Soos scratched his cap, rubbing his head. "Dude, didn't they decide to go by 'Manotaurs' now?"

"In Gravity Falls, yeah," Dipper nodded, and from under his vest, he pulled out the third journal, "but Minotaurs are still the defined species." Dipper quoted out of the book, "ahem, 'Half man, half bull, capable of great feats of strength and power, they are a fierce, bold, but not entirely unintelligent race. They also like being 'Manly' and acting tough', but that could just be Grunkle Ford being like that. I mean, we've met them before."

"They didn't like Multi-bear," Mabel noted, "so less cool than normal Minotaurs."

Behind the four, someone cleared his throat. They all slowly turned, and saw Bud Gleeful staring at them. "Ah, listen," he said, cupping his hands before him timidly, "I know we got off on the wrong foot here-"

"Mildly," Wendy snarled.

"But this town needs help," he admitted, "I'm here supporting their new building of infrastructure and a proper sewer system! But these... things," he pointed to the now distant cloud, "keep coming and attacking! If they have no cars, they can do anything but pray my masterful plan of getting them tourism will work!" he then chuckled to himself, "which, it will. But it could work sooner!"

"So, instead of kicking us out of town," Dipper slapped his book shut, "you want us to find these minotaurs and stop them?"

Bud nodded and held a hand around him. "Look at this town, ya'll. They need a touch-a modern life. I'm giving them all I got, but these things are slowing it."

"What's in it for us?" Mabel asked, her arms crossed tightly.

"Anything in the shop is free," Bud told her.

"SOLD!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Mabel," Dipper held a hand on her shoulder, "we can pay for anything in there."

"Oh. Okay," she turned back to Bud, "half-sold. What else?"

"Whatever those vile beasts have claimed is your?" Bud suggested.

Mabel opened her mouth to speak quickly, yet Dipper was faster. "Deal," he extended a handshake.

"Good," Bud nodded, and quickly shook the hand, "now get going. I'm don't fancy dealing with ya'll any longer than I need to."

"Feeling's mutual," Wendy mumbled.

As the four turned and walked from the wrecked truck and Bud Gleeful, Mabel leaned to Dipper. "Really dude? We totally could have haggled something else. Maybe taking away his favorite hat!"

"We came for a piece of Starkissed, remember?" Dipper asked. Mabel pouted silently. Her brother glared at her. "Zander wants us to find these special magical stones, and the best bet is that whatever caused the Minotaurs to appear and start acting crazy is a stone." Dipper turned and looked to Wendy and Soos. "Any different ideas?"

"Even if it's not the stone that caused them to appear, it's a good place to start looking," Wendy nodded.

Soos added, "I'm also in agreement."

"To which one?" Dipper asked him.

"All the above," Soos explained.

"Well, we'd better find someone to tell us where they came from. For all we know," Dipper sighed, "they're just roaming around out there."

A sordid tone replied quickly. "They aren'."

The four turned to the voice. A man, wearing a leather cap with one lid flipped up leaned against a wooden column on the buildings porch. He wore a simple dress shirt with a darker tan vest, and to Dipper's shock, nearly as short shorts as he wore. The man was with a grand chin and strong features, bearing the resemblance of a chiseled hunter.

"I've tracked 'em," he spoke, his voice betraying his foreign persona, "they buggered off towards the Moody Mountain- a solitary lot just a few kilo's out the way," he pointed. "Been waiting on someon' who'd come along for a walkabout. You lot interested?"

Soos noddedly slowly. "I understood about half of that."

"If you're going to show us where they are," Dipper spoke up, "then we'd love for you to show us the way."

"Not a problem," he nodded, pushing away from the post. "I prefer my place of retirement be more... secure. This town don't offer much, just the way I like it."

"Well, mysterious Australian man of seeming tracker authority," Soos proclaimed, "show us to this mountain."

He nodded, and turned to the alley next to the building. "Mates, to my jeep." Down the short alley, the four found a large, windowless red and tan jeep. He was quickly pulling himself inside, and the engine roared to life with a strong purr. "Climb aboard."

"Sure!" Mabel nodded and quickly lifted herself into the front passenger seat. "This doesn't feel at all like the one time Grunkle Stan had us climb into his car without telling us where we were going first."

"Yeah!" Dipper nodded, and then halted before following his sister. "Wait... uh..."

"We outnumber him dude," Wendy reminded him with a near whisper.

"Right," Dipper sighed, and followed into the jeep.

"All aboard," the man called out as Soos and Wendy also climbed into the roofless beast of a car. "Let's give this little safari a go."

"So," Dipper leaned forward, his head between the front two seats, "what's your name?"

"Ron Nulboon," the man said as he reversed the car. The five felt the jolt of the inertia and then as quickly as it started, the jeep halted.

"And, uh, what exactly did you retire from? Hunting? Park Rangers? Wildlife rescue?" Dipper asked hopefully.

Ron Nulboon chuckled. "Nah mate. Insurance Salesman."

A long, shocked quiet ride began after Ron's revealed profession.

Yet as they darted further westward, the four saw, creeping over the horizon and closer still, a large, solitary peak. The mountain was clearly alone, with little to no evidence of range to call home. Speckles of snow rested at the top, giving only the smallest of indications to the height of the massive geological mound.

The entire time they road down the prairie, Soos, Wendy, and Dipper conversed of their plan.

"If they're anything like Manotaurs, they'll have a cave of some sort," Dipper explained.

"A 'man cave'," Soos quoted.

"My dad would love them," Wendy sighed.

"I think they met," Dipper admitted.

"Huh. Small world," Soos commented.

"Inside the man cave we could see a sort of primary leader. The biggest, meanest, toughest, scariest of the bunch. He'd be the one probably pulling the strings," Dipper explained, "if we can find him and either beat him or take him down a notch, we could scare the others into submission."

"And then force them to stop attacking town, while getting us a chance to find the small stone thing," Soos nodded, "a plan of Dipper Pines if ever there was one."

Ron suddenly spoke up. "Hold on for a tick." The car reeled on direction, and came to a stop. In her seat, Mabel craned forward.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"Local shaman," Ron grumbled. "Name's Wanekia."

Stepping closer to the jeep was a shorter man of venerable age. Not entirely wrinkled but quite sun-kissed, the man had bronze tanned skin and fine black hair that fell to his shoulders and reached to his center back. He wore jeans and a simple brown leather jacket, tied with cowboy boots and belt.

"A... shaman?" Wendy asked him.

"Authentic and all," Ron assured her.

"I didn't know their dress-code updated," Soos admitted.

Finally the man approached, meeting Ron with a stern look. "You again."

"Mornin' Wanekia," Ron nodded.

"Nothing you do will change what has happened," the man warned them sullenly. His eyes flickered to the twins and Wendy, which did a quick double-take. "These children you bring with you will only be hurt should the worst happen. Turn around. Your luck is bound to run out."

"I've been unseen so far," Ron noted. "These things can't be that observant."

"This is their land you encroach!" the shaman barked. He breathed, and turned to Soos, "you must know this is wrong to invade their land."

"Uh, so, dude, like," Soos rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm not really into talking about that sort of stuff. Makes me kind of uncomfortable."

Wanekia stepped away, shaking his head. "You aught know better. You step into death's doorstep!"

"Already there, actually," Wendy sighed, sliding back into her seat. The Shaman stared at her, his eyes wide and shocked at her words.

"Well thanks for the warning sir!" Mabel waved at him as Ron pressed the gas pedal again, and the car lurched forward.

"Fools!" he cried after them. "They will not let you take away their land!"

"Old coot," Ron chuckled.

"He's a real shaman though, for real?" Dipper asked, poking his head past the seats again.

"Authentic as they come. As I've heard, he's done his fair-share of magic and fortune telling in his life. Says he can read animals and speak to 'em. It's why he doesn't stick to town much," Ron sniffed loudly, and shook his head. "But he lives out here anyway. Not sure where."

"He kind of gave you a weird look," Soos said to Wendy.

"Hm," she hummed.

"You think he maybe could tell? About... your..." Soos asked Wendy quietly. She turned to him, eyeing his idea. Her neck craned as she peered behind the trail of the car, watching the Shaman grow smaller in the distance.

"Maybe. I don't know," she said. "Let's deal with this problem for now."

Some ten minutes later, the jeep finally came to a park. They had spotted, a minute prior, a series of caves that lead into the mountain. The mountain itself, upon closer inspection, had gaping holes and cavernous sections all broken out by natural wear and geographic forces. Dipper was quick to point them out, "If I was a minotaur, and I've undergone their trials before, that'd be where they'd live."

"What trials?" Mabel laughed. "You're about as squishy as a teddy bear!"

"Shut up," Dipper had snapped, leaning back into his seat, "I fought Multibear and won for those trials."

"Nuh uh," Mabel grinned. Dipper merely stared at her, and her grin began to waver. "Wait... you're kidding." Dipper smirked, shaking his head. Mabel pushed him. "You're kidding."

After parking and finding their way to the closest path that lead into the caverns, Ron had withdrawn from the back his own hunting shotgun- equipped for, as he called them, "Harmless high-dose tranquilizer rounds. Put a croc to sleep with a touch." With the butt of the gun secure in his shoulder, he followed Dipper and Mabel inside, the five creeping quietly along the slowly darkening path.

Shadows and splits in the earth became common. While they never fully missed the surface, the path lead them slowly deeper down, but never out of sight from the sky. Cracks above them showed the deep reaches that the fissures above could lead to, should someone fall. They even spotted similar caverns across a wide ravine, some twenty feet across.

"Bet I could make it," Wendy said quietly, eyeing the other side of the canyon.

"After we save the world," Dipper promised her, "we can put a bet on that."

It was a few minutes in further when Ron suddenly held out his hand above his head. "Hold," he said. With their attention gathered, he slowly lowered his hand ahead, pointing to a ledge. At a bare whisper, he said, "shadows."

The five slowly got the ground, and slowly leaned over. Dipper's mouth fell open, along with Wendy's and Ron's. Mabels mouth split with a wide, awe-filled grin, and Soos nodded calmly. "Not exactly wrong," Soos shrugged.

Walking around on both all fours and on both hind legs were Bison. American Bison wandered around the wide, natural hallways of the caves below them, their massive shaggy forms casting shadows from what the five could see as torches and electrical light bulbs strung around the hallways. Dipper grumbled and pushed himself away from the ledge, looking to the others.

"So, you were wrong," Mabel smirked at him.

"Though, admittedly, not very far off," Soos consoled Dipper.

"This is impossible!" he declared in a hiss. "They don't have _fingers_! _Digits_! How could then even hold a baseball bat, let alone _swing_ _one_!? All evidence still points to Minotaurs who-"

From below, a voice rang out, and the five crawled to the ledge again, spying below.

"Boss!" one Bison called. The voice ushered in a larger Bison. "We made the new baseball bats!" the one said, lifting a baseball bat with one hoof as it stood on it's hind legs. Dipper's mouth fell open as the baseball bat lifted itself in the center of the hoof- suspended there like it was held by... something. The larger one lifted it's own hood and took it, using supposedly the same kind of power.

"They look good. All of 'em are like this?" the Bison called 'boss' asked.

"Oh yeah! Making them is becoming a breeze since we stole that one truck with all the lumber!" the one chuckled. "Now we never have to use horns again!"

"Great. With the gifted stone of magic power given to us, we're now stronger than ever. One step closer to superiority of the plains, and getting those horrible humans out of our lands!" the boss declared with a bellowing laugh.

Dipper once again pushed himself away from the ledge, scowling. "Okay... they are psionic or something."

"Psionic?" Ron, Wendy, Soos, and Mabel all asked quietly. Dipper hissed at them, ushering them to be more quiet.

"Think a psychic, but they can use their mind powers to lift things and manipulate things, while not always able to read your thoughts," Dipper said, reaching inside his vest and withdrawing the third journal. "Here. 'Psionics are a breed of psychic- more aligned to the use of mental capacity to alter the physical rather than the astral. I only wish I could get such luck. Could get even with one or two bullies'," Dipper concluded.

"Sounds like Grunkle Ford all right," Mabel sighed.

"So, they're strange supernatural Bison?" Ron asked. "Don't sound too crazy."

"Really?" Wendy asked, aghast. "Massive animals the size of cars with the ability to speak, use psychic powers, and are clearly organized aren't a threat?"

"Actually, he's not wrong," Dipper stated, and began flipping pages, "there's a good chance I can find a spell or something that may disrupt that power over their minds."

"Wait, you're going to use magic?" Mabel gasped.

"Maybe?" Dipper replied.

"But that's bad!" Mabel pushed him.

"Why?" Dipper demanded.

"Because it's what the bad guys are using!"

"Well, maybe fighting fire with fire isn't such a bad thing," Dipper exclaimed quietly. He turned back and flipped pages faster, the old dust of the journal falling away, creeping into the air. Wendy and Soos saw such a small cloud fall and disperse near the Bison.

"Hey," Soos cleared his throat at a whisper, "do they have good sense of smell?"

"Huh? Yeah," Ron said, looking down the barrel of his gun, "why you ask?"

A single moment later, all the Bison stalled and sniffed the air. The dust had settled.

"Did someone kidnap a dusty old nerd recently?" One asked. "I just got a strong whiff." The other bison replied rapidly.

"Nope."

"Not me."

"If I did, I forgot about him."

The responses made the Bison then all turn as one, and face the five on the ledge. They all stared at the five humans with wide, dark eyes.

Dipper chuckled. "Whoops."

"INTRUDERS!" the 'boss' roared, pointing his hoot at them. "Get 'em guys!"

"RUN!" Dipper shouted.

Wendy was instantly on her feet with Mabel. Dipper followed closely behind Ron, and Soos was floundering to stand, helped to his feet by Wendy. The thundering and clamor of hoofs rushing at them filled the air. They could scream and not hear themselves. Rushing away though, they found they had the distance advantage.

At least until one Bison leapt up a twenty foot clearing and landed before them.

"They're coming out of the walls, man!" Wendy shouted.

"Gotcha!" the Bison roared.

Mabel the first contact, and kicked out. Her foot was well placed, and the Bison's eyes bulged out as he gasped, and lowered his top hooves to his crotch, where Mabel had just placed her hit. As it buckled and fell to the floor, the five raced past it.

"Nice one!" Soos nodded to Soos.

"Thanks buddy!" Mabel waved and winked to him.

Another Bison leapt up, seemingly at superior ease. Mabel had little time, and found herself at the receiving end of a charge. Dipper spun and saw, only in the nick of time, Mabel shoved off the ledge.

"NO!" he roared. "NOT AGAIN!" He spun to Wendy and Soos, and with a tightened jaw, he shook his head. "I'm not leaving her behind! Go! We'll get out on our own! Don't get caught!"

"Dipper!" Wendy reached out for him, but he had already turned. He leapt down after Mabel and the assaulting Bison. "No! Dipper!" Wendy shouted, watching him descend into the shadows below.

"We need to go!" Ron shouted, cocking his shotgun. "I can knock one or two down before-" Another Bison landed right next to him, and he spun his head just in time to see him there. "...clever girl." Ron barely had enough time to spin and aim the shotgun at the figure before he too was knocked clear from the ledge, falling into the shadows with the Psionic Bison.

Soos pulled at Wendy. "Dude! Come on! We need to go!"

"But-" she spluttered.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

The two backed up from the side the twins had fallen, and were back to back. On either side now, the bison had collected in large numbers. They were surrounded.

"Give up, puny humans," the 'boss bison' demanded, his dangerous dark voice assured of his victory.

Soos and Wendy looked around. The way out was blocked. The way deeper in was severely blocked. The shadowed path after the twins lead to captivity, surely, along with Ron. Wendy then peered to the other side, where the wide, twenty foot ravine stood.

"So," she quietly said to Soos, watching the Bison before her, "they can jump real high. You think they can climb at all?"

"Uh... Hey!" Soos turned and shouted to the Bison, "you guys good climbers?"

One of the Bison paused, and placed a hoof under his fuzzy chin. "Well, as long as it's not a vertical slope, sorta like a wall, I suppose we're good."

"As long as it's not a vertical-" Soos began to paraphrase.

"I heard him, Soos," Wendy informed him with gritted teeth. She sighed, and looked back to the large ravine. "Soos... How much do you trust me?"

"Like, easily a hundred out of a hundred," Soos firmly said.

"Even though I'm an undead monster?" Wendy asked quietly.

Soos waited a moment, his mind going through the thought. "Even though you've got a disability of not dying. I trust you."

"Then hold on," Wendy rumbled.

She turned, pulling Soos with her. The Bison made to follow, but quickly saw their path. One, two, three steps over, and the two made their leap. Soos screamed as he and Wendy flew through the air, soaring across the deep trench below them. Only darkness awaited as they slowly begun to fall more than move forward.

Yet, as their leap would have it, Wendy made contact with the surface and she dug her hands into the rock as hard as she could. Pain seared her mind as fingernails and skin shattered and split, yet she held on.

Soos was less lucky. He fell as she did, but his fingers could not find purchase in the rock, and he made to fall further in. Wendy then snapped out, and grasped his arm. Now pulled with his weight and the shock of her torn fingers, she screamed in agony as she felt her body was tearing itself in two. Not that it would matter- she couldn't _really_ die.

"Soos!" she screamed, "Grab onto something, please!"

Soos swung himself to the wall, and he too found an outward jutting rock. Finally she let go, and he remained on the wall below her.

"Can you climb?" she asked. Soos nodded.

Each reach was an eternity.

Every tug was a monumental struggle.

All the time, they would never look down. It was only up. One pull at a time.

It could have been ten minutes, or a week, but eventually, the two found themselves pulled up along the side of the mountain. Wendy stood up, dusting herself off with ease. The constant fatigue and wear of pulling herself up a near sheer cliff had vanished. She smirked to herself. "A benefit of being dead," she sighed, and looked to her nails. Skin had already nearly closed, and her nails looked straight again. "That too," she sighed.

"Wendy," Soos gasped behind her, his hand and arm poking up into the air. With her help as she turned to him, Soos was liberated from gravity's claim, and he rolled onto the dirt wheezing. "Okay... ladders can't be all that bad luck. They don't hurt nearly as much as that."

Wendy smirked beside herself.

Soos turned and opened his previous sealed eyes as he panted. "And see? Totally trust you, dawg."

Wendy's smile calmed and grew. "You're something else, you know that?" she laughed.

"Handyman here, just doing my job," Soos declared as he stood up. The two laughed, relieved of their danger.

Yet, as they paused, almost perfectly mid-laughter, they realized it was just them. They were alone.

The twins were somewhere deep in the mountain, alone.

"Uh..." Soos drew out his uncertain sigh.

"Great," Wendy adjusted her hat atop her head, scratching her scalp, "well, we're out. But... now what?"

"I'm sure that if we just wait long enough, the twins will be here in a bit. Right?" Soos asked.

It may not have been the first time the crew had been split. It may not even have been the most sudden and frightening moments of their lives. As they stood atop the mountain, the knowledge of their friends still stuck deep inside with a horde of angry psionic Bison keeping them captive eating at Soos and Wendy's minds, they felt the situation worse. They were alone.

Really alone for the first time since Gravity Falls had vanished forever.

* * *

Guess who got their computer fixed in the middle of the week!? :D Guess who also had to pay for a new internal power supply?! :O (hint: both answers are me.)

So, we're back! Normal schedule is a go, with no more delays in sight. Sorry that I didn't warn anyone of such return, but I had to rush with this week anyway. My work has a habit of trying to get me to do longer hours (and I can't complain about cash, yo) but it eats up writing time. Still, here we are. Yay. :)

I hope my promise of an episode NOT centered around Dipper or Mabel came off well for you guys! I know I hinted at Soos being part of the central, but that's going to be in part two. We needed to see Wendy's side before we got to his. She's holding a tad more in than he is, after all. But yeah, next week will be our honorary 'Soos' episode as this was our honorary Wendy. Man, that's now Stan, Wendy, and even YUKI with their own perspectives. With soos out of the way, that'd be all main characters. Achievement Unlocked? :o

Finally, the artwork you guys keep sending me. OMG KEEP IT COMING. I love your dudes and dudettes work so much. You all show such cool aspects of characters I only DREAM of, since I cannot draw myself (not incapable, just lazy mind you) and you all help realize that dream of seeing them true. The OC love, the group shots, the concepts- AAAHH MORE MORE MORE! I love it all so much! Thank you all for the show of love!

Welp, that's all for now. Remember, new updates each late Saturday/Sunday-ish. Until then, seey-

(A Bison wearing a bold red plumber hat and a black mustachio crashes through the ceiling and onto EZB with a bounce. In strange, cartoonish fashion, EZB is flattened, and then vanishes as '200' drifts up above the place his body previously existed.)

Plumber-Bison: (in a high-pitched Italian voice) Yahoo! (jumps and spins away.


	70. Home, Home on the Rage: Part 2

The mid-day of the American Prairie was a strange sight. The sun captured all within eyesight, leaving a vast expanse of grass, dust, and hills to be bleached dry. Only the Moody Mountain- the solitary and unusual peak in the middle of this wilderness did cast a protective shadow on the world around- acting as a natural sundial. The happenings nearby had been anything but natural.

Stepping to jeep under the hot sun, Soos flopped down onto the hood. "Ohh," he moaned, and closed his eyes. "Well, as far as days go, there could have been better ways for it to go," he mumbled, feeling his skin grow hot. "Also, I think I'm burning my flesh. Ow."

He jolted up, wiping his head left and right as he waved his hands in the air, the stinging relaxed with fresh air. The car next to him lurched again. Turning to the doorside, Soos saw Wendy pull herself up and into the seat and slide in. He stared at her, and she looked only up to the sky.

"Okay, so we're here," Soos sighed, "now we just wait for the twins."

Wendy said nothing.

"Yeah," Soos said to himself, and cupped his hands together. That pull on Wendy's jaw could only mean one thing. Well, maybe four, as Soos thought about it. She could be having digestion issues, _if_ she had eaten recently. Maybe she was chewing on some gum. There could be a chance she was warming up her jaw muscles by tightening and then relaxing.

Or, and the more likely of all the possibilities, she was upset.

"So," Soos clapped his hands together, "Bison."

"Yeah," Wendy grumbled, and slid a hand to her eyes.

"_Magical-psychic powers_ Bison," Soos added with a chuckle, "that sounds just like home."

"What?" Wendy poked an eye out from under her hand, staring at him now.

"Yeah. You know, like indestructible gnomes, or gender-switching crystals, or beavers with chainsaws," Soos reasoned. Wendy squinted at him at the list. Soos nodded. "I know, right?! I mean, where does a beaver even _get_ a chainsaw?"

"Soos," Wendy leaned forward, "I'll one day want a list of ever single thing I've missed. I'm getting tired with learning about this stuff only when we're basically on the run, man."

"Hah! Right," Soos said, chuckling. As Wendy laid back in her seat, staring out in the distant horizon, Soos also glanced around. His eyes traced the surrounding mountainside for movement. Still no signs of the dangerous Bison, nor Dipper, Mabel, or the crazy ranger dude who as far as Soos was concerned, was British. Or Irish. It was hard for him to tell sometimes the difference.

"I wonder how long they'll take to get here," Soos mused as he stared at the mountain. A shuffle behind him cause a quick turn. Wendy, to his view, had suddenly vanished. With a blink, he stood on his toes, and saw she had entirely lowered the seat. "Aw, getting comfy, good idea," Soos nodded. He strode over, and pulled himself into the driver seat.

With the red-head next to him, he leaned in. "So," he cleared his throat, "there was the one time that Dipper, Mabel, and I found that the Gobblewonker was real, but then it was just a robot." Wendy, who had closed her eyes, had them dart open. "Then there was the one time where Dipper made a video game character beat up Rob- oh," Soos chuckled, and apologetically shrugged to Wendy, "Sorry, Dipper asked me to never tell you that. Can't break a promise to a bro."

"Uh... okay," she slowly said.

"Then there was the time we battled a huge candy-demon on Summerween, and the time we all got thrown into the bottomless pit and then just popped out the entrance, since, I guess it has no 'bottom', and the time I switched bodies with Waddles, and the-"

"Soos!" Wendy cried out, "look, thanks for trying, but I kind of meant 'in detail' when I wanted to hear the stories," she grunted.

"Oh, right. Well, To start back up," he adjust in his seat, "we were at my boat, the S.S. Cool-Dude, when-"

"Soos," Wendy grumbled, "maybe now is not the best time for stories?"

Soos paused, his banter faltering as he studied Wendy. Reading people, especially ones who were any good at concealing their emotions, made Soos upset. He enjoyed the love that two people could share with one another if they held nothing back. Granted, he understood that sometimes there were things you never told someone, especially when it put them down. In the end, he always just wanted people to get along; and the best way he saw that was honesty.

He couldn't be sure, but he was certain Wendy was holding back. So he chuckled, and nodded.

"Right," he grinned, "maybe radio?"

"Let's keep it off," Wendy stated.

"But maybe we could get a really cool radio signal," Soos suggested.

"If you wanted to listen to country twenty-four-seven," Wendy shivered.

"Point accepted," Soos nodded and laid back in his seat. He once again glanced to Wendy, her eyes glued to the sky. "So, uh... you want to play a game while we wait for Dipper and Mabel?"

"Soos," Wendy sat up, running a hand through her hair, "we need to do something other than wait for them."

"Exactly!" Soos nodded.

"Something _important_," Wendy implied, looking at him.

"I've heard that I spy increases perception and shape recognition in our mind," Soos shrugged.

"Soos!" Wendy barked first, and then stared at him. He had recoiled from her, his eyes wide and glued on her as she watched him. She then asked, "really?" Soos could only nod, afraid he had said something that offended.

He lowered his guard slightly and centered himself. "Sorry Wendy," he apologized, "I didn't mean to rile you up or anything."

She nodded, "You... didn't. It's not your fault."

"Oh, good," Soos sighed. "I was worried I said something bad. You know," he added, scratching the back of his head as he pondered his past choices around people during times of stress, "not the best at being a 'smooth talker'."

Wendy rocked her head side to side, giving his words a little digesting. "Don't be too hard on yourself man."

"Hah, right, me hard on myself," Soos chuckled.

"Because, you know, you shouldn't be," Wendy added, her straightened postured slacking slowly.

"Oh. Uh, gotcha," Soos nodded, studying her as best he could.

"Just don't blame yourself," Wendy said.

Soos stared at her. "Is this one of those tricks where you're actually talking about something else, and not what we're actually talking about?" Wendy grumbled, and pulled her feet to the side of the jeep, landing outside and marching away. "Uh, is that a yes?" he called after her, leaning past her seat to the edge of the jeep.

"Of course!" she shouted back.

"Oh," he leaned into the seat more, his face heating up. Of course he would miss something like that- he always did. "So, uh, you mind letting me in the crazy secret, dude?"

"Well," she clawed at her hair, "the heck are we going to do!?"

"Uh, like over time? Or more-"

"NOW!" she shouted. She panted heavily as Soos stared at her. "Dipper had both that crazy Journal from Stanford, and his cell-phone. If there was anyone who was going to lead us to the stone, it was him and Mabel! What do we actually know!?"

"Well, what it looks like and what it does," Soos shrugged. Wendy grumbled and cupped a hand over her eyes. Soos grinned. "Besides," he added, "we already know that it's totally inside the mountain."

"How do we know that?" she asked him.

"Uhh... because the Bison?" he suggested.

"We don't know. But the guys who would are both prisoner inside, or worse!" Wendy growled. She then stomped her foot, and started marching towards the incline. Soos pushed himself out of the car, flipping out and collapsing on the ground with a loud crash. His fall granted a quick check from Wendy, who regardless continued to walk.

"Hold up!" Soos called, rushing to head her off. Finally he stepped in front of her. "Dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm going back in for the twins."

"But dude, they told us to not get caught," Soos reasoned with her, trying to hold his hands out to repel her. Yet her shoulders caught against his palms, her thought his mass was much, her strength was constant. He found himself slowly being pushed back.

"I'm not going to get caught," she growled, and stepped forward, pushing Soos a foot's distance backwards.

"But we can't fight them!" Soos protested.

"Watch me," Wendy dared, her voice quiet.

"Wendy-"

"GET OFF ME, SOOS!" she shouted, and he stepped back, his eyes fearfully watching her. She panted for a moment, staring at him with her hair to either side.

There had been many times he had been mad at Wendy Corduroy- the time she ditched him while supporting a ladder and he fell onto a hive nest three years ago. Or the time she tossed out his CD of Lil Bigg Dawggg and never bought him a new one. Or the time... actually, in retrospect, those were really the only times Soos had ever genuinely been upset at her.

Now he was sure what it was like to have someone like Wendy furiously staring you down.

Messy hair on either side, she slowly came to lower her head from her shoulders, Soos gulped and wondered if he had gone too far.

But he had a mission. "Sorry Wendy," he apologized quietly, "I made a promise to Mister Pines to keep you all safe. I'm going to keep it."

Wendy looked up. Soos was never the first to admit it, but he would never deny how slow he was to pick up on things. But even he could see how exhausted Wendy looked. Her hair in the mess it was, her face pale and her eyes dark, she seemed... true to her aspect- undead.

"How are you going to protect the twins if they're in the mountain?" Wendy asked, her voice low, sounding sore and tried beyond hope.

Soos pursed his lips, and spun towards the face of the geological mound. She wasn't wrong: out of sight and in the mound of the enemy, the twins were... off worse than him and Wendy. There was no telling what state they were in while trapped deep inside the mountain, and he had no hope of defending them while inside. He couldn't look out for them separated like this.

Was... he useless? Suddenly, he was looking to his feet. That weight of disappointment- that the voice of Stanley Pines gave him, reminding him of his task to protect his family, was a heavy one. How could he bare to know he had failed so quickly? They were gone from him, and Soos would not disappoint Dipper.

Then... Soos, turned around, and stared into the horizon. "I, I don't know Wendy, dude. I'm honestly freakin' out here. Mister Pines made sure I was the boss; the one who was going to make sure everyone was safe. But... if I can't do that now, what am I?"

Wendy's tired form froze. She watched him, from her posture of animalistic anger, slowly fading from her eyes. Had there been more to her look, Soos missed it all.

"I have to at least protect you," Soos admitted, "because I need to make sure I don't mess everything up for Mister Pines. So that, you know, the fact he's gone means something."

Wendy's mouth fell open. "Soos," she barely said. He finally saw her again, no longer lost in the swirl of doubt formed in his mind. "I'm sorry," she quietly said. "I shouldn't have shouted," he added as she pulled her hair behind her.

"Heh," he shrugged, "and I shouldn't have pushed you-"

"Yes, you should have," she kindly admitted, "going back in, yeah, it'd be cool and I might be able to get in, but I'm not going to just get everyone out- not without doing something worse."

"Uh... right," Soos nodded, in shock at the sudden reversal.

"But I'm not wrong," she defiantly said.

"Totally," Soos grinned. After a moment of empty thought, he lost his smile, "about what?"

"We can't just sit here," she said. "I mean, aside from being useless if we just stand around here, it's dangerous. Those Bison could come out."

"Right. And we can't be useless," Soos agreed, all pretenses of joking aside. "So," he paused, "uh... plan of action?" he asked.

Wendy paused, putting a hand to her mouth. "Man, this is so much more of a Dipper thing than me. Ugh... I have no idea?" she asked, scratching her scalp.

Soos hummed, turning his head around, and spotting the Jeep. "Well, Rob the Irishman didn't leave his keys."

"Irishman?" Wendy asked as Soos made for the jeep. "Soos, he's Aus-"

"We should grab what we can and make for the town," Soos decided," and see if anyone else can help out." As he made to the car and reached in for a kit of tools to travel with, Wendy's hand reached in and held his down.

"Or... we hotwire the car and drive it back ourselves?" She suggested with a wicked grin.

"Oh," Soos dropped the box, letting it clatter tools inside loudly. "Uh," he gave her thought a consideration, and shrugged with a small grin. "Yeah, that makes more sense I guess."

"Sweet," she smiled, and reached in for a pocket knife and a screwdriver. "Grab me a thing of duct-tape, and we'll be good. Unless," she offered him the screwdriver, "you want to do it yourself?"

"Dude," Soos chuckled, "I'm a handyman. I fix things, not break them. At least," he considered back to many times in the Mystery Manor, "not intentionally."

"Suit yourself man," Wendy nodded, "maybe watch a pro work her magic on a car that doesn't want to cooperate?"

"Just in case you need me for something," Soos chuckled.

Sitting in the passenger seat while Wendy worked was bizarre. He had never pondered what it was like to watch himself work, repairing and fixing something with little to no ease. Radios, walls, tires, water-pumps, toilets; it didn't matter what. He could fix it up and make it better if he needed to. Now he could lean back and watch as someone else did their craft- re-purposing and re-directing.

Why did it make him feel... unneeded?

A minute later, the engine was purring again, and Wendy was driving the two across the flats. It was decided quickly: regardless of Bud Gleeful, their best bet for finding help was back in Darkbark. Other people who had been hurt by the bison could rally to their cause, and something more than just the two of them could make an impact worth coming back with.

Yet, as the jeep recoiled with the bumps and jolts as they drove over rocks and drops in the ground, the two spotted a figure on the horizon.

"Wendy, what do your Wraith-eyes see?" Soos asked.

She glared at him, for a moment, and then sighed as she looked back. "It's the shaman."

"Oh yeah! Wawa-man. Wanaset? Wakata? Uhh... shoot, what was his name?" Soos pondered, scratching at his chin as they approached the simple and worn looking figure some half a mile away.

"Ask him when we get there," Wendy prompted. Then she frowned. "You know, he was pretty sure of himself when he warned us to not go to the mountain."

"Sure was," Soos nodded, "sort of had that whole 'the earth tells me way cool things', you know?"

"Or maybe he knows more than we do because he's involved?" Wendy asked aloud.

"That too," Soos said with a quick grin. Then an idea flashed to his mind. "Maybe he can control them! Super-cartoon style! Just like my animes!"

"This isn't a cartoon, Soos," Wendy muttered.

"If you say so, dude," he gave her a wink.

A quick minute later, the car was pulling slowly in front of the man, who had stopped his stroll, and watched them with a wary eye. Their eyes met his, an unflinching force of wisdom and experience that easily bested theirs by generations. He studied them silently before Wendy slowly started to climb out the car.

Soos stood and waved. "Hey there, Wally-tea-uh!"

"Nice try," Wendy chuckled.

"My name is Wanekia," he told them, his aged voice gripped with wisdom, "you best remember."

"Best remembered and done," Soos nodded, "Wawakia." The old man glared at Wendy, his squint conveying an impatience that came with his age.

"You have returned from the mountain," he noted, "and without your guide. Nor your full numbers."

"Dipper and Mabel were taken inside," Soos quickly explained as he climbed down and also approached, "and we're going back to town to-"

"Soos!" Wendy gasped, "not all at once."

"I warned Ron of what would come should he take anyone further to the mountain," Wanekia shook his head, "the man was a fool. He is missing too. Taken by the Bison?"

"Well, yeah," Soos said, "thought they were clever, how they-"

Wendy snapped to the local. "How did you know they were Bison?" He stared at her for a moment.

"Because I have seen them," he said calmly.

"They saw us and tried to freakin' kill us," Wendy barked.

"Or at least kick us around," Soos added.

"Why wouldn't they do that to you?" she demanded. "What makes you so special to them?"

Wanekia's eyes became slits as he glared at her. "Do not raise your tone with me, child." Wendy's hands twitched, seeming to resist clutching.

"Dude, we're trying to help our friends here," Soos explained, "if you could give us a pointer-"

"I am not investing further into this situation," Wanekia snapped suddenly, and spun away.

Before Soos could prompt her not to, Wendy was on the Shaman. The streak of red snatched out and pulled the man back by the hem of his shirt, dragging him across the ground. The man cried out, trying to stand as Wendy snarled and tossed his back to the front of the still humming jeep.

"Cut. The. Attitude," Wendy snarled.

"You-" Wanekia snapped, but Wendy leaned down, her face inches from his.

"Our friends are now in trouble! All you told us was that 'the mountain was dangerous'. You're going to help us out now, so that you don't pay for knowing what was waiting for us and not telling us!" Wendy roared, her vindication blasting forth as a terrible rage.

Soos stared at the man, at Wendy's mercy. "Is... dude, is she right?" he asked, his voice hollow. The man looked to Soos, wide in silent fear. Soos stepped up, still not at the older man's face, but now near enough to see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "Dawg, we're totally not trying to hurt you. Well," he gave Wendy a glance, "we don't _want_ to. I just want to protect my friends. They're still inside the mountian," Soos pleaded, and got down to at seat. "Can't you help us, Mister Wanekia?"

The Shaman stared to Soos. Study and contemplation bled through his eyes as his brow furrowed and his glance darted over Soos's features. His gathering of motives seemed to come to a conclusion, as he then looked to Wendy, a calmed expression to him. "Let me go. I will not leave."

"Yeah?" Wendy nodded, and did as asked. "I wouldn't try it anyway. I'd catch up."

Wanekia studied her again, and nodded. "Perhaps you would," he granted her, and then sat before Soos, calmly into a peaceful mediatory seat. "I will explain how this all began, and why I am to blame."

"You?" Soos blinked. Wendy also moved over, standing behind Soos.

"Yes," Wanekia reached to his neck and lowered his fingers under his shirt, drawing out a small fabric necklace. At the center, a set for a stone, now vacant. "You see, Bison are a blessing to this land. They churn the land. They are indomitable spirits. But they have been hunted, disrespected. I've seen their numbers reach the gates of history forever, and only now they return in bountiful numbers."

"Which is good," Soos nodded, "like, totally good."

"So you wanted to get revenge?" Wendy asked, curious.

"No," Wanekia shook his head as he felt the empty socket on his chain between his fingers slowly, rolling it around, "Revenge was... never what I've sought. Ever. Revenge is selfish. It consumes. I wanted balance," he explained, looking up in earnest.

"The Bison lived here in larger numbers. Now they could roam again. My ancestors, worshiping, hunting, following, recording these beings of the prairie could rest easier. Then," he scowled, his eyes turning to the east, where Wendy and Soos turned and saw the distant etches of the town, "Gleeful came."

"He and his family have that effect on people," Wendy simmered.

"Yeah! And they're not all that nice, dude," Soos added.

"I found him winding the town up. He proposed plans to expand Darkbark into a thriving town of tourism, at the cost of breaking more and more land up for 'infrastructure'. He tore and ripped at the earth nearby town. With his own resources, he began to eat at the land of the Bison."

"But they have so much to thrive on," Wendy pointed out.

"Not all of this land is fertile," Wanekia shook his head, "should Gleeful's plan come to fruition, nearly half the land that the Bison can graze freely all year would be torn away, and they would begin to starve away and die."

"Aww, dude," Soos clenched his jaw, frowning, "like, that's more evil than just shooting them." Wanekia stared at him. "Well, I mean," Soos shrugged, "starving is pretty bad man. Look at me! I hate the idea so much I've prepared for the day it could happen."

"Yes..." Wanekia glanced to Wendy, who made a face over Soos's shoulder. The shaman shook his head, and continued, "regardless of how, killing these beasts can not return. I urged the town to stop. Yet, for a town who had always respected my word, they had become blinded to a new gospel."

"Bud?" Wendy asked.

"Greed," The Shaman whispered.

"Nearly the same thing," Wendy sighed.

"Their hearts and spirits are turned by the promise of wealth. Before Gleeful, they lived here, happier than with the promise of wealth. I needed their aid, and protested Bud's influence. They, in turn, chastised me from their town," he sighed. "They are not bad. They are... unwise."

"Still, they aren't listening to you. So... how does this become your fault?" Wendy asked.

Wanekia stared at his necklace further. A long pause followed Wendy's question, only the gentle wind and humming of the car behind them interrupting. Finally he spoke, never looking up.

"My father, and father before him, held a stone. The stone formerly in this necklace," he stated, holding the piece of jewelry out, "was a gift. A friend of the lands presented it to us for our dedication to peace and preservation. It was said to have... great powers. I... a week ago, I planted the stone in the mountain, and prayed to the stone that the Bison would be granted the abilities to stand against the forces that seek to disturb their lives."

"The stone," Soos leaned in, "did it look all dark, but also kind of shimmery?" The Shaman straightened up, staring at him. "Soo... a maybe?" Soos asked.

"That's a yes," Wendy nodded.

"Oh, good," Soos sighed, "so you had a Starkissed stone." The Shaman's mouth dropped.

"Never have I heard another so... freely know of this rare treasure," he admitted.

"Well, we're weird," the redhead rolled her eyes.

"To my shock, the stone... worked. Within minutes, the Bison suddenly were upon me, asking me for information in perfect English, of all things," he chuckled, "they wanted to know how to defend themselves. I... encouraged that they speak their mind and stand up to the town. What I had not anticipated was their resentment," he explained, a slow shake of his head, "they truly despised the townsfolk for destroying their land. They would not talk- only return the favor."

"Dude," Soos sighed, "that's uncool hardcore."

Wendy's jaw tightened. "And you, what, took the stone away?"

The Shaman studied her. "The stone is the only thing... giving them a fighting chance."

"Those Bison are willing to attack people, and they seem to be getting angrier and bolder!" Wendy pointed out.

"The townsfolk will see their mistakes," Wanekia assured them, "and as soon as the Bison are sated-"

"But they won't be," Wendy cut in, "they were wronged. They've been given something that they can't control!"

"Uh, you lost me there," Soos turned to her.

"Their powers!" Wendy snapped, stepping next to Soos, towering over the Shaman, "their minds! They can think and strategize, and all they knew before that was fear and anger! You gave that a voice!"

"I gave... no," the shaman shook his head, "you are wrong. I offered these creatures the chance to stand up for themselves."

"And they ARE!" Wendy roared, "and they're not going to stop, because they don't know anything other than the pain they're stuck with! People who try to help without knowing what they do just end up hurting others!" She stomped her foot into the ground, "see, people like _you_ are what made _**things**_ like me!"

Soos flinched. "Wendy," he pleaded.

"Things like you?" Wanekia quietly asked.

"Yeah!" she shouted, "I'm not human anymore! I'm stuck in-"

"Undeath," Wanekia whispered. Wendy and Soos stared to him; one breathing heavily and the other with his mouth hung open. The man's eyes glued to the redhead. "I could sense a darkness lingering within you. One... you did not manifest yourself."

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, "someone ruined my life. And to 'fix it'," she quoted, "he brought me back to life. Only he didn't realize how much it messed me up. And I'm telling you," she pointed to the mountain, "those Bison are just the same."

"Not the undead part," Soos explained.

"Yes, I have followed her," Wanekia told Soos.

"Oh. Good," he nodded curtly.

Wanekia the shaman lowered the necklace, having it fall to his chest. "I saw the Bison as a spiritual creature. Something greater than I. I... could not have it taken away again," he said, his eyes falling to the ground, "they did not deserve it."

Soos glanced to Wendy, who's heated stare only faltered when she realized her friend was staring at her. She then lifted her gaze and turned away, rubbing her face. Soos leaned in. "Dude, not going to lie, it's pretty bad when stuff like this happens, you know? But, like, that's why we're here," he added with a grin, "to fix things." Wanekia lifted his head. His eyes bore deep into Soos's, who unflinchingly smiled back. "So c'mon dwag. Help us fix this one?"

Wanekia, his tanned features slowly turning, began to smile. No larger than the faintest of grins, it was the warmest of looks he had given them. He rose to stand.

"I cannot apologize for what I have done. However, I can, and will," he announced, "make amends, and repair the damages I have caused."

"That's the spirit!" Soos proclaimed, standing to his feet, "I mean, besides to part where you talk to spirits. I bet you see spirits a lot actually. Hm. Could have used a better phrase."

"The ticket?" Wendy suggested.

"Eh, sure," Soos nodded.

"Either way," Wendy spoke to Wanekia, "we're going to town. There could be _someone_ there who could help us," she said.

The Shaman gave a sullen nod. "I would hope, but not expect such."

"Well, all aboard the Scottish guy's car," Soos pointed to the Jeep. Wendy and Wanekia stared, shared a quick glance, and then both silently climbed into the car as Soos took the wheel.

"So," Soos turned to Wendy, a glint in his eye, "you feel any better, dude?"

"Huh?" she asked.

"Got a bit of stuff off your chest," Soos acknowledged.

Wendy frowned, and leaned into her seat, sliding down mildly. Her face began to tightening as she thought hard and fast. "Soos," she finally said, just barely over the rumble of the car, "could you not tell the twins I kind of lashed out like that?" she asked.

"Huh? Why? I thought they knew about this sort of stuff with you," Soos shrugged, "I mean, they sure knew about it before me."

Wendy stared at him, and Soos felt the look. He hadn't meant to make it sound... accusing, but it had come out as such. He couldn't hold it against her that she withheld something like that from him. Yet, inside his heart, a string of trust between the two of them had severed. Only now was it starting to re-grow. Wendy looked away.

"They do know. Just... I don't want them worrying over it," Wendy sighed. "Dipper already thinks he's going to find a cure."

"Why won't he?" Soos chuckled.

"Because there isn't one," Wendy admitted darkly.

"That's what they said about other crazy stuff too," Soos reminded her.

"This is the top of the crazy," Wendy bragged.

"Yeah! But who does crazy best?" Soos asked, and gave a thumb to himself, "us. We totally rock the crazy, dude." Wendy chuckled half-heartedly, nodding. Soos continued, "if there's someone out there that can do it, it's Dipper," he said. "He knows, like, so much. Well, maybe not as much as Zander, but pretty close."

Wendy grinned, and her smile faded as her eyes squinted. "Yeah," she said, eyeing the shaking mirror on her side, "he does, doesn't he..."

"Yeah! Dipper's figured out, like, everything before," Soos reminded her, "as long as he puts his mind to it, and get's help from Mabel, the two of them can't be stopped!"

"Huh?" Mabel looked to Soos. After a quick blink, she nodded. "Right. Dipper can. Yeah."

"You lead interesting lives for ones so young," Wanekia sighed from the back.

"Gravity Falls in a nutshell," Soos chuckled.

"Where?" the Shaman asked. The two in the front fell quiet the rest of the drive.

When they finally did pull into town, a crowd had gathered. The man formerly cradleing a broken and bent in car was at the head, flanked by Bud Gleeful. The elaborately dressed cowboy stepped forward as the car came to a standstill, and parked.

"Bud here informs me that you lot been lookin' into this problem for us," the mayor said as he rolled his hands together. "Tell me you've got good news, us here been praying for it."

"Not exactly," Wendy said, and stepped aside, revealing Wanekia, who's unflinching persona was quickly seen by the gathered populace. Muttering and whispers spread like fire as he and the two came closer.

"What is he doing here?" The mayor pointed, "that man is nothin' but a trouble maker!"

"The kind that gets chased out of town," Bud shook his head, "despicable for turning on his fellow countrymen."

"Okay, first of all," Wendy held out a finger, "he's native american. Like, I'm pretty sure you were just as insensitive to him without just calling him an 'Indian'. Second, you of all people don't get to talk about 'being run out of town'!"

Bud gave a large, stage-crafted gasp. "Why, whatever are you implying, missy?"

"Well, probably the time you and Gideon got thrown out of town because you conspired with demons," Soos said matter-of-factly.

"What pile of nonsense!" Bud laughed, waving his hands at them, "my wife and son and I decided to leave town amicably. After all, Gravity Falls was a town with an established setting. Darkbark here, no, they need my help, after all. And these fine people," Bud stepped side, waving to the town populace, now glaring at the three, "are more than happy with my presence."

"You have turned their gracious, welcoming hearts," Wanekia scowled, "plagued their minds with avarice."

"Now, now," Bud shook his head, "that's just rotten, that is. After all, what's wrong with just a little bit of want?" he asked, and turned to the crowd, "after all, we're going to want people to see this great town and all it has to offer, amirite ya'll?" he asked. The people cheered and hollered. One of the cowboys tossed his hat up and shot to the sky, giving a proud 'Yeeehaaaw!'.Bud held his hands up, "Now, Staletham, calm down. No need to get violent," Bud asked the crowd, and then half-turned, looking to the three, "yet."

Soos opened his mouth, and then he saw Wendy take a step forward.

"You remember Gravity Falls?" she asked.

"Well, of course I do," Bud sighed. "So what?"

"How?" she asked.

"What'cha talking about?" he asked, his voice lowering in energy and enthusiasm.

"No one remembers Gravity Falls anymore," she announced, "it was erased from reality."

Bud's eyes widened as he stared at her. "Uh," he glanced to Soos, who shrugged. "Well look here," he growled, "I don't know what kind of shenanigans you're trying, but I'm not taken. I spent quite a lot of life in that backwater hole, and now I'm in a shining _new_ beacon. Don't matter where I am- I'll still remember what I came from."

"Good. So do the Bison," Wendy pointed out.

"The what?" Gleeful replied very quickly.

Soos pointed at him. "I think he just bluffed!" he declared, and then said to Wanekia, "Bud's lying!"

"Nice, Soos," Wendy grinned and rolled her eyes. "You're lying, Bud."

"Ya'll, this here woman is calling me a liar," Bud stepped away, his face falling in faux-shame, "and all I came here for was to help and-"

A powerful, rough voice shouted "YOU ARE ALIAR!"

The townsfolk shuddered, and Gleeful lost the attention of the gathered people. All eyes were now on Wanekia. The lines on his face cut deep shadows across his form, and he stood before them all, casting his dark, angry gaze.

"You've come promising wealth, never help," Wanekia spat, "money, not prosperity! I ask you now, seeing the damage you've caused: who's wealth would be increasing!?" he pointed to the town, "these attacks only started after your interference with the land. the damages done to these people, the things they must re-build-"

"Is all considered under the payment and balances of this town's negotiations with myself," Bud proudly proclaimed. "They won't lose a penny while I'm here."

"Can you buy back their time?!" Wanekia demanded. Bud pursed his lips, silent. "Can you buy them away fear!?"

"I plan on it. After this," Bud announced, "I'll be calling in exterminators for these cretins!"

Wendy scoffed. "You don't get it?" she asked. "That's what started this! You broke something, and they broke back! If you try to escalate this, only more are going to be hurt."

"But we'll win, in the end!" Bud roared, scaring those around him with his booming voice.

Soos spoke up finally. "Will you?" All turned to him, and he quivered under the eyes of many. "Uhh, look, so, I'm not the best at, uh, public speaking, and stuff, but you've got to believe us. I'm just a handyman, okay dudes? I fix things. But I'm telling ya: when you break something by dropping it, you don't fix it by dropping it again."

The folk listening started to think to themselves. The strength and conviction to Bud's testament shook and trembled with Soos's words of wisdom. Bud's hardened glare fixed on him, now corrupted with a trace of fear. Even the two nearest him, Wendy and Wanekia, watched as Soos's simple yet efficient words infected the people before them with truth.

"Like, you can keep picking up a glass cup and dropping it, hoping to change the million and two shards," Soos shrugged, "or pick up the pieces, and change what happened and make a fix."

Bud turned about, looking to the people. "Ya'll can't be serious!" he proclaimed. "He's just a handyman! Said it himself! He ain't no special man, or philosopher type!"

"Now hold on, Bud," the mayor held up a hand, "there ain't anythin' wrong with being a handyman." Bud's mouth dropped out.

"You're goin' to listen to this fool!?"

"I don't know," the man shrugged, his wide hat flopping around, "don't seemed that foolish to me."

Soos's cheeks shot red-hot. "Well, gosh, thanks. I'm not really someone who gets wise-words, ya know?"

"Soos," Wendy said, smiling her fullest, "nice one." The handyman could only smile back. Wendy spun around, facing Bud, who had only just come under the very real possibility that he was no longer in control with the situation. "Townspeople, let's face it- Bud used you to get money, and hurt those Bison, who in turn vent on you. The only person left unscathed so far is _him_!" she pointed at Bud, who flinched.

"W-Well now," he chuckled in a worry chirp, "I-I think I should point out I've never forced anyone in town to do anything they wouldn't wanna do. I'm just guarantee of change for this good town," he stated.

The Mayor, barely half his height, stepped next to him, and glared up. "Bud, the change you're a-bringin' ain't what we're lookin' for." As bud gulped, the Mayor snapped his fingers and shouted, "Hogtie 'em!"

Bud cried out as three dozen men and women dived onto him, many with ropes of their own. As the large man slowly fell to the ground, his hat fell to Soos's feet, swayed by the gentle toss of the breeze. Over the cries and grunts of Bud, Soos lifted the hat, dusting it off. He approached the still struggling crowd, where Bud's head poked out awkwardly as he was pressed to the dirt by no less than twenty four hands.

"Soos?" Wendy asked, her hands out, "you hear that?" Soos walked past her, and stopped just before Bud's cheeks, who glanced up to meet him.

The hat was gently placed onto Bud's balding pink head, and there it rested, covering Bud's face.

"Soos," the man spat out dirt from his mouth, "c'mon boy. Stan and I were partners for a quick minute back 'n the day. You idolize Stan Pines! Help out the man who could have been his next pal?"

"Sorry Mister Gleeful," Soos sighed, "I made a promise to Mister Pines before he was gone: to protect his family and my friends. I can't help you right now," Soos sighed, and turned away. The man lowered his face, defeat creeping into his flushed cheeks.

Wanekia stepped up to Soos. "There's far more to you than I saw at first, my boy," he said to Soos.

The Handyman laughed. "Nah, that's just because I eat a lot." Wanekia also laughed, and opened his mouth. Yet Soos got to the punch. "But, yeah, thanks. I know what you were talking about dude."

"Soos," Wendy called out, he faced turned away, towards the mountain.

"My boy," the mayor approached Soos, "You've done very well this day. I can't believe how blind-sighted we all were in the sight of a touch more dollar. We couldn't even see eye-to-eye with Wanekia here," the short cowboy admitted, glancing to the native, who nodded.

"But do you see now?" the man asked, a gentle smile returning.

"I... do, my friend, "the cowboy mayor extended a hand. The other took it, and they shook together.

"Yush!" Soos pumped his hand up and down towards the sky, "another problem fixed! Nothing is as powerful as the power of Fixin' it wi- oh," Soos paused, the two watching him, "sorry. This would have been a perfect moment for my online show."

"I'd watch your show," The mayor addmitted.

"Awesome!" Soos clapped his hands together. "It's called 'Fixin' it With Soos', starring myself, Soos," he explained, "and it's about-"

"SOOS!"

"Yeah?" Soos spun around, smiling despite Wendy's outcry. It had been... never, since someone asked Soos about his online show. Wendy was standing away, staring at something in the distance. His eyes focused past hers. Suddenly his mouth got dry, and he gulped.

The ground began to quake.

Wendy dug her feet in, leaning forward slightly. "Man, just when things were getting solved. They're coming," she said.

"Dudes," Soos spun around to the Mayor, who too had just noticed the coming cloud of dust, "look, this sounds crazy, but these Bison may be angry, but what if everyone just talks this out? We can have a great pow-wow, and like, everyone can hug and feel better. Everyone feels better after hugs."

"Well," the mayor trembled, as did the earth, "Wanekia?" he asked.

The Shaman looked past Soos, to the clouds. "No, the boy is right. This needs to be solved without violence, or more violence will follow."

The Mayor nodded, puffed his face out, and shouted. "YA'LL LISTEN!" he roared. The crowd gathered around him and focused intently on him. "We're going to have a neighborly welcome and chat with them Bison. They're an angry bunch and we don' wrong by them. Our job now- set things right."

"That doesn't include usin' me as a sacrifice, does it?" Bud gulped.

"If it comes to it," the mayor shrugged.

"Whatever you want to do," Wendy called, "do it now! They're nearly here!"

The ground shook so hard that people swayed for balanced. Rocks and pebbles hopped and bounced about, popping and pelting Bud Gleeful's face. "Ow! Ouch! Gosh dangit!" he shouted.

Then they arrived.

The dust settled and flew past the stoic, forward figure of Wendy, and then the crowds. Appearing en mass, was a dozen Bison, all on their fours. The people stared in awe- the size of the creatures already impressive. Then, one by one, the Bison stood on their feet.

"This is a first," the leader admitted, "finally growing a backbone," he told his comrades. A few chuckles came from his note.

"Ready ya'll?" the mayor asked. The simultaneous nod from the townsfolk prepared him. He spun around, and with the entire town, opened his arms wide and shouted-

"Welcome to Deadbark! Famous Wild-West town and frequent rest stop for Ryant Hearp- notable wild-west criminal!"

The bison stared at them, their dark eyes wide in shock. One of the Bison then started it's top hooves together, laughing.

"Wow! That was cool!" he chuckled, "I don't know Ryant Hearp, but I bet he's a big name if there's a town who can-" he turned to talk to his allies, who were all glaring at him. "Oh. Right. Angry with the town. Sorry," he chuckled, and then whipped his head back, and snarled. "We're _angry_ Bison."

"And," the Mayor stepped just behind Wendy, "we're sorry people."

"Are you?" the leader said, stepping up to Wendy. The redhead barely budged. "How's that?"

The mayor nodded. Six men stepped over, and lifted Bud Gleeful up, holding him up for all the Bison to see. "The man responsible for the damage to your home and running you off- all yours."

The Bison stared. Many of their dispositions, previously locked onto anger and resentment, softened. One or two looked to their closest pal, nudging them and pointing to Bud with their hooves. Their leader, tallest and the closest to Wendy, sneered.

"So," he leered down at the small mayor, who recoiled and stepped back as the towering figure came closer by leaning in, "you decided to give up someone to save your own skins, did you?"

"N-No!" the mayor clamored.

"What proof is there that this man is solely responsible for what has happened!?" The leader roared.

"He'd tell you!" the mayor nodded his head.

"No I aint!" Bud shouted. A few of the men kicked him. "Ow! I ain't the man you need!"

"He's lying!" The mayor promised.

"And even if he is," the leader snarled, "what would it do for us?" The man gulped, and took several steps back. "Yes. You all broke our land. Ran us from our old homes and blew it up. What do we have left?" he stomped his foot and yelled into Wendy's face, who stood her ground, "CAVES! We're living in a habitat we're not supposed to because of you people!"

"Please," Wanekia stepped forward, "listen to these people," he said, coming closer to Wendy, "they never meant to harm you."

"Shaman," the leader gasped, his face wrinkled with hurt, "you're... with these humans?"

"I am here to support a peaceful solution," he pleaded.

"And I'm here to, uh, fix things," Soos nodded, realizing he too was in the eyesight of the leader.

The Bison glared at him, and then Wendy. "You two invaded our caves. You attacked our men and women."

"You all jumped at us first!" Wendy snarled.

"Protecting what little we have," the Bison barked.

"A great way to go about, lashing out at anything that makes you mad," Wendy commented.

"Easy for you to say, being someone with everything," the Bison snarled.

Wendy leaned to him, inches from his snout. "You don't know how good you have it. At least you're alive."

"ALIVE?!" the Bison leader bellowed, knocking Wendy's hair around. "Having no home to call our own, but being 'alive' is a benefit!?"

"Please," Wanekia called out, "please, calm down!"

"Boys!" The leader roared, and then pointed forward, "show them how _Bison_ round up _humans_!"

"RUN!" The mayor screamed at a pitch capable of breaking glass.

Soos lost sight of Wendy in the flash of a blur. The Bison charged forward, at speeds only describable as a stampede. He could only try avoiding the dozen huge beasts as they charged past him, racing at the townsfolk. Wanekia held his hands out.

"No! Stop! This cannot continue-"

A shoulder of one such creature slammed into him, and he flew to the side. Soos rushed to him, avoiding more of the stomping hooves and large horns. On the ground, the older man groaned as he slowly pushed himself up, clutching his own shoulder with a pained hiss.

"They will not listen to me," Wanekia shook his head, his thick hair now falling past his face. "Who will they listen to if not me?"

"Dude," Soos said, looking up and witnessing the Chaos. "I don't know anymore."

Then, admits the chaos, a resounding, WHACK.

The Leader stumbled back, holding two hooves to his nose. The entire chase, the chaos, the screams, all of it died away at once.

Standing in front of the wincing master Bison, a hoof print on her face, was Wendy, glaring at her opponent.

"You're DONE," she warned him.

"I'm not!" he shouted, shaking his head side to side.

"You really think this is going to help matters?" Wendy asked, exasperation and frustration boiling together to make her breathless.

"I don't care about making things better! I want to get even!" the Bison explained. "They... hurt us!" he cried out. "They deserve to feel that hurt too!"

"And you think that'll help?" Wendy asked earnestly, her hands, firmly raised in defense, fell to her sides.

"Of course it will!" the leader spluttered.

"You know it wont," Wendy shook her head.

"Don't tell me what to do!" the Bison shouted, "I don't listen to humans!" he said, lowering his head to prepare a charge.

"Well GOOD!" Wendy screamed back, "because I'm not a _**HUMAN**_!"

The air echoed her words, a perpetual, screaming reminder of what she had just called. The Bison opponent she faced slowly stood up, his eyebrows bent in confusion.

"Y... yes you... are?" he asked.

"No, you can tell, can't you?" Wendy nodded, tears in her eyes. "Even though you're intelligent and smart, you can't shake off that feeling looking at me. Animals could always tell what I am. Bad. Different. Look," she held her hands up, "I'm not saying I've never been a human. I'm... not really one now, though."

"But... how could you know of our pain?" he asked, his voice unguarded for the first time.

"Because... I've had a home. For three years, I had a place I could go home to. But I couldn't. I couldn't go back. It would destroy the people I had known. So I just walked around," she explained, running a hand through her long red hair, "hoping it could distract me. In the end, I kept wanting to go back. I missed home. But now... Gravity Falls," she trembled, "the place I call home, is gone. I can't go back now. But I can't hold it against... against anyone now."

"Why?" the Bison asked. "Don't you deserve to?"

"I mean, man, maybe," Wendy shrugged, and looked to the distant sun in the horizon, "but what is that going to do? I already know from experience that getting even doesn't... change things. The best way I've coped with this, my loss," Wendy said to them, "was to... move away, but alongside people I trusted."

Soos, standing far away, yet intently listening to each word, saw her face as she turned to him. Smiling. Happy. "It's my friends that keep me sane. Without them, I'd go crazy and become some sort of monster or something."

"But we don't trust these people," the bison said, "why should we trust them?"

"Because," Wendy said, "they're willing to fix what they did."

"We are?" the Mayor asked, nearly sandwiched between two Bison. Wendy spun about, a deathly stare shot right at him. "Well, of course! Hah! Who wouldn't want to help someone who's been pushed down?"

"It's a start," Wendy told him, "and sometimes we begin with just one small step, stead of a leap."

The Bison leader stared at her. The bestial pupils focused on her- the creature, former human, who had stood up to him. Physically, verbally, mentally: she combated him. Yet, as he stood, towering over her and looking around, he spied his own friends and comrades staring back.

"We're... tired," the Bison said.

"I feel ya," Wendy admitted.

"We just want to have our homes back," he said.

"I think," the mayor spoke up, "we'd be more than happy to accommodate such requests."

"But... you never liked us," the Bison called over, "why would we change your mind?"

"No, no," the mayor came closer, "that's not it! We always thought you were a great thing to have around. You see... we were confused," he said as he passed by Wendy, coming to the Leader, "the man tied up promised us wealth. And... we wanted to take it. We just didn't realize what we were doing to you all."

The Bison glared to Bud, who was sweating a lake under his large chin. Then the dark eyes turned back and peered into the Mayor. "You... do want to help us?"

"I want us to get along," the Mayor decidedly said, "and that means helping one another out, neighborly. We've been bad neighbors up recently. It's high time we change that."

The Bison nodded and snorted. "Then," he extended a hoof, "I think we can get along."

As the Mayor took the large hoof and shook it with both hands, the townsfolk erupted into cheering and shouting. The one cowboy tossed up his hat yet again, and shot at it. As a gut reaction, the closest Bison roared and kicked out, knocking the man ten feet into the air and back into town- through a window on the second floor of the building closest to them.

"Whoops," the leader said. The Mayor, stunned, watched the cracks in the window, and then the one Bison who had kicked out. The Leader held out his hoof, "now, now, I'm sure he didn't mean that. Right Rigby?"

"Yeah! Sorry," the one surprised Bison apologized.

"So," Soos walked over with Wanekia, who still massaged his shoulder, "now that we're all buddies, do you think we can go get our friends now? We kind of have a mission."

"You... actually came to town to _do_ somethin'?" the mayor gasped.

"Yeah?" Wendy asked. The Mayor looked between the two of you.

"There's nothing around here. Are you sure you ain't looking for area fifty one or somethin'?"

"C'mon dude," Soos chuckled, "Area fifty one is totally a hoax."

* * *

Two hours later, two cars and a bike were riding down a long dirt road.

The Jeep ride back to the mountain had been a quick one, alongside the traveling Bison and Wanekia. The townsfolk, along with the Mayor, of Darkbark had come to allow not only the re-planting and pasteurizing of the lands taken from the Bison, but had come to agree that the Bison would make wonderful guests. As tourist attractions went, highly intelligent and up-right psionic Bison sounded like a steal. The Bison's only other condition? Bud Gleeful was kicked out of town.

The two had been gifted quite a bit of presents. Wendy and Soos both received jackets. Wendy's was the one she had been looking at with Mabel- the one of nice black leather. Along with a pair of sunglasses that totally covered her brows and eyes, she had joked of her transformation into a terminator was complete. Soos had received a large, grey blue duster jacket, and a proud new tool belt for his collection. Despite Soos's protests, Wendy made it clear he was going to take the gifts.

Only half an hour later, they had gotten to Dipper and Mabel, who had somehow managed to do the exact same thing that Soos and Wendy had on the surface. The expedition of a dozen Bison returned to a collective of Bison who wanted peace with the town, and were thrilled to hear that it had already been done. Dipper, along with Mabel's convincing, had realized the Stone was simply a part of the Bison's hoard of collected junk. With their 'expert' diplomatic skills, they managed to acquire the stone for themselves. Dipper claimed Mabel just annoyed them to the point of giving them the stone for her to shut up, but Mabel insisted she was cryptically analyzing their sociological structure so they could see the error in their ways, and give her the stone anyway.

Finally tearing Mabel away from the 'Lady-Bison' and their manicure hour, the four only had a brief talk with Wanekia.

"I wish you all the best. May the spirits guide your path," he had said, and then turned to Wendy, "and may you find your spirit once more, lost child. Remember that your path is not yet lost." Then, with Ron the Australian retiree driving his hot-wired car, the two returned to town.

"I still can't believe he's not Swedish," Soos had shrugged. "Totally sounded like a Swedish-dude."

As the sun set behind them, the three vehicles stopped at a lonely gas-station on a ghostly high-way in the middle of the great, empty valley.

"Well, you guys rocked it," Dipper admitted, holding his arms together as he leaned against the cars, letting Soos fill up the three vehicles.

"Did we?" Wendy winked.

"Only a billion times more than us!" Mabel cheered. "I mean, we had to keep playing nice and explaining to them that we were only here for this-" she held out the small marble, the Starkissed Stone "-and that war- what _is_ it good for?"

"Absolutely nothing, dude," Soos shook his head.

"Still, that's another successful mission," Dipper smiled and nodded, "I mean, that's fantastic. Two for two so far."

"And not to mention, some mad skills on Wendy's part," Soos said, filling up her bike.

"Huh?" she asked.

"Yeah!" he told the twins. "She rocked the convincing of their leader. Like a boss and stuff, dudes!"

"Whoa!" Mabel clapped her hands together on her cheeks, "you are a warrior princess! Can even do royal diplomatic missions and things!"

"Sounds like her," Dipper chuckled, and winked at Wendy.

The redhead smirked and shook her head. "Thanks. Should have been there, you know?" she said, and looked back to Soos, to which she gave a wink.

"Yeah, was pretty cool," he said. The gas pump clicked. "Ah! We're good to go once I pay," Soos said as he stuffed the nozzle away.

"Cool! SHOTGUN!" Mabel roared.

"I'm driving, idiot," Dipper shook his head as dug into his ear with his pinky.

"I'm calling it either way!" Mabel protested.

"Thanks for filling her up," Wendy said to Soos, striding over with her new jacket and sunglasses.

"Yeah, no problem," Soos shrugged. Wendy started climb onto the motorcycle as he walked over to his car, where a pink pig awaited him in the passenger seat. Closing the door behind him after swiping the magical credit card of infinite money, Soos sighed and turned to Waddles. "Man, good thing you don't have to deal with Bison."

Waddles oinked.

"Heh," Soos shrugged, "I'm okay. I'm just glad Wendy was there. I mean," he put his hands on the wheel and stared ahead, his eyes lowering as he frowned, "I didn't really help much, did I? Couldn't have stopped those angry Bison if she..."

Waddles snorted, and nudged him with his nose.

"Ah, who am I kidding?" Soos smiled, and patted the pig with a smile. "You're a good pig, you know that dude?" Waddles blinked and snorted. "Hah, of course you do."

The bike sped past him, Wendy's billowing hair a flag of the trio of cars. Then Dipper's car followed. Soos watched them go, his stiffened smile faltering. Shifting the gear into forward from park, he couldn't help but wonder again.

Why did he feel just slightly... useless?

* * *

In the cold hours of night, at a ghostly gas station, a car, stacked with hastily stuffed away briefcases and bags, pulled up. After it parked, Bud Gleeful finally puffed out, red in teh face. To the side of the building stood a payphone. He stared at it, and snarled.

"One day, I'll get that darn cellphone back," he swore to himself in the dark, only barely lit by the faint light of the exterior building around him. Yet he reached into his pocket, and with a heavy sigh, withdrew a roll of quarters. Snapping the paper that bound it all together, he started piling them into the receiver.

"Aaand that should be enough," he grumbled, looking around himself. There wasn't a soul for miles. "C'mon, boy, pick up."

Then, with the loud click and mutter of a voice, someone answered.

"Gideon!" Bud cheerfully declared.

The voice was cool, yet commanding and entirely southern. To the ear of Bud Gleeful, it was as clear as day.

"Well, about that little town we were a talkin' about?" Bud asked, rolling his finger around the spring wire, "Darkbark? Right?" there was an answer, slow, uncertain. "Well... it didn't work. They chased me straight out of town."

Bud had to hold the phone away from his ear. Clear as the moon above him, the voice echoed around.

"-HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY I COULD LOSE IF YOU MESS UP AGAIN!?"

Bud slowly returned the phone to his ear. "N-Now boy, I know you got a good plan. Trust me, I'd sell it to a hundred people and scam each of them for it. But we knew it was risky. It didn't help neither when those stupid Pines came into town with-"

The voice in the phone snapped. The voice was deadly quiet, and then it asked of something.

Bud shuddered. "The Pines Twins. Daniel and Marcy or somethin' like that."

The voice was quiet again. Then there was an outcry- laughter. Bud gasped and leaned into the phone, trying make out the words through the laughter.

"Gideon, I don't think you're seeing this straight. She wasn't comin' lookin' for you, she and her brother were into town, trying to-" The other on the end cut him off. A few more words, this time more precise and cutting than before ate at Bud, who's body twitched and seized at certain whispered phrases.

"I can get another operation started. This ain't dead in the water by a long shot now," Bud promised, "just a hiccup, and I can... you listening to me, boy?"

The voice answered after a long pause. Orders were given. Sharp, precise, unfiltered. Cruel. The person speaking to him had little else but authority in his voice as he demanded that Bud Gleeful followed through.

"A plane will cost-"

The voice shouted. It didn't care about prices.

"Well... then I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, son," Bud nodded into the phone before pushing it into the payphone. His face looked worn- years of his life gone. His age now showing, she lugged himself back to the car and slid inside. He would have a long, long travel ahead of him.

* * *

And so, the rage on the homestead is ceased. In my mind, the Bison and the townsfolk start doing performances and shows together, and the town begins to prosper. That is, until a scandal with Scarlet the Bison and a local bull throws the town back into obscurity. Freakin' scarlet. Just gotta go and ruin it for everyone. Ugh.

So there you are! Part two! Soos and Wendy are a tad more explored. Man. They have issues, huh? :p Hard to blame them though. They deal with a lot, and Wendy probably more so than anyone else.

And Bud Gleeful has made his return, and saw a butt-kicking. Was almost at the end of such butt-kicking too. Lucky guy got away with just a severe verbal lashing. Probably deserves a REAL lashing, but I might just be projecting his... UGH... son.

Who is coming. (NOT SOON BUT HE IS)

And before I go, sorry for those of you who I did not get back to. My email last week got REALLY scrambled (I blame myself, I am so sorry) and I think I lost places and tags of half the reviewers. I know you guys put some real thought into getting to chat with me, and I felt really bad that I couldn't get back to you like normal. Sorry for those I missed!  
:(

Otherwise, next episode is "Warrios of Groom Lake". Some of you maaay know where I'm sending them now... enjoy. ;)

(A UFO hovers over EZB, and Zaps him instan0ly. With a loud 'pop', EZB is turned into popcorn. The 'popped-corn' falls and scatters to the ground. And THAT is how you get ants, guys.)

* * *

**Zh duh wkh juhdwhvw sxccohv zh fdq ilqg. Eurnhq dqg eulwwoh, zkr dq uhsdlu wkh plqg? Wkh ulggoh ehiruh lv dq dqvzhu dwrqh. Wr ila lw qrz, rqh pxvw qrw eh dorqh.**

**-AND-**

**9 18-15-12-12 6-15-18 2-9-19-15-14 19-20-5-1-12-20-8.**

**-AND-**

**R'n tlrmt gl kfmxs gszg kozgrmfn yolmw qvip rm gsv uzxv hl sziw R'oo gfim srh hprm rmgl z dsllkvv xfhsrlm.**


	71. Warriors of Groom Lake: Part 1

It had been said once that Science was never a prize to hold in your hands, but a horizon to endlessly search and travel towards. Such wisdom had never been spread far and wide, but yet, some principles of that saying had taken root in humanity. Unless, of course, you were in the black-tier research laboratories of the infamous Groom Lake facility. It had a different name to the public, and a different name to the officials who referenced it. To Government officials, they called it, 'Unofficial'.

To the public, they called it 'Area 51'.

In the fifteenth subterranean level of this location with many names, a cluster of scientists made feverish work to complete their next big break.

The laboratory was a huge sectioned off chamber. Lined from top to bottom with computers, the sixty foot room was oval in nature, with a platform in the center. In the exact center of the room were two large metallic arms, with three digits that slowly spun in opposing circles; the top spun clockwise, the bottom counter it. At the end of the platform was a very thick metal door, of composite steels and manufactured alloys not known to common man. Yet it lead to a over-look some twenty feet above the platform.

Behind those thick panels which mimicked glass, a cluster of scientists worked and bustled about. Computers and monitors coated the walls. Those inside, the thin and heavy set alike, were all nerdy looking. An older scientists, with a large bald stop on his head and shock white hair, looked about.

"Blast," he muttered before bending down to the console again. Turning to his closest accomplice, he asked, "have you seen mister Looseman?"

"I was under the impression he had 'missed the cab'," the younger scientist chuckled.

The older gentlemen, who stood up and spoke with a disapproving glare. "Unbelievable. Slept in again. For one with such a high recommendation from MIT, you would think that Jordan would have more of a understanding of timing. Concepts such as linear time are not too hard to memorize, at least their theoretical formulas."

"Assuming we don't disprove them today," the man at the computer added.

"Indeed," the lead nodded.

A door leading to the room slid up and opened. Walking inside was a middle-aged man with short dark brown hair, wearing glasses and a large bio-hazard suit. The head scientists turned to him.

"Ah, Jordan. Good to see you," he said, waving him over. The man nodded and approached. "Now, we're ready to begin the linear string apparatus procedure. I'm glad to see you've adopted the Mark Seven hazard materials suit," he said with another look up and down of the suit. Black and White with clunky looking metals placed on the shoulders and chest, Jordan Looseman shrugged.

"Now listen Jordan," the other scientist stood up, facing him, "these materials aren't stable. Having them close to one another in expose spaced before they are in the S.T.C. modules could be disastrous. We've checked, and the digits are fine for now. Just be careful when applying this rock to the devices, okay?"

Jordan nodded.

"Good," the head grinned," then let us begin. Jordan knows the rest of what to accomplish, right doctor?" the man in glasses nodded firmly. "Good. Then off with you. We'll begin phase one as soon as the door as sealed behind you."

Jordan Looseman turned and made his way to the doors across the room. As they opened after a small delay, he stepped into the vertical elevator and waited for the doors to close behind him. One small ride down, and they opened once more. Before him was the beginnings of the chamber, but sealed off by a large blast door.

As the metal doors to the elevator closed behind him, two recorded alerts played in the room. "Warning: Blast doors opening. All unauthorized personnel are required to leave." Jordan Looseman looked at the speakers, a grimace on his face as he heard the warnings three more times before a final warning was issued. "Blast doors now opening. Please stand back," the urgent female voice asked.

With a loud moan of metal, the two sections of the doors before him split and were dragged open. As they were, a small panel next to him opened up, revealed a small device, similar to a remote control. He took it out of it's inlaid socket, and moved to a less hidden panel in the chambers.

Now inside the sixty foot room, he looked up to the observation room. In the air, their voices floated in.

"All vitals accounted for," the lead scientists stated, "Jordan, we're giving you Alpha now. Have the minor stasis field on stand-by."

Jordan nodded. Then the panel before him slid open, and revealed a small crystal. It was jagged and orange in color, with the hint of an electric current racing through it's semi-opaque body. Without a slightest hesitation, he clicked one of many buttons on the control in his hands, and a small blue field wrapped around the crystal, and levitated it into the air.

"Into the first slot please, Jordan," the scientist.

Looseman turned and marched it into the center, some thirty feet away. In the top slot the crystal floated. With the stasis field still up, he clicked yet another button, and the three claw like digits closed around the crystal firmly. A small display panel protruded out and was held before Jordan. Thousands of numbers flew at him, with varying colored graphs telling him information not process-able to the untrained eye. He turned and gave a thumbs up to the crew above.

"Good," the scientist said, "now, for the new specimen. Please take the orb into the second slot."

Behind Jordan Looseman, another panel flipped open. Instead of a crystal, a stone orb of black space and nebulous colors radiated out. Jordan stared at it for a moment, captivated by it's appearance. Yet with the smallest of shakes, he stepped forward, and activated the stasis field. The orb lifted out, like the crystal and began to float over to the slot.

"Uh," another scientist voice read out, "I'm getting some strange readings from the sample."

Jordan stopped, and looked up the windows. The lead scientist had turned away, looking to the speaker.

"Is it anything dangerous?" he asked calmly.

The second voice struggled, "well, uh, as I can tell, no, but these are alien signatures from the first time we analyzed the stone. Maybe-"

"Some rouge residual radiation from the sample won't be a problem," the head scientist sighed. "Jordan, do a quick cleanse." Jordan nodded, and pressed another button. A red flash inside the blue bubble passed. Nothing seemed to happen. The head smirked. "And the signatures?"

"Have... dropped," the scientist sighed.

"Good. Jordan, into the second slot, if you will," the head required.

Jordan hesitated again, looking to the orb. Yet, with a small shake of his head, he stepped forward and approached the second slot. As he made to put the stone in, a the stone itself stalled, and froze in place, resisting the efforts of the stasis field. Jordan gasped and pulled away. Yet the stasis field acted as a rope- and was now tied to a locked universal spot. It wouldn't budge.

"Jordan, what seems to be the issue?" the head asked, a frustrated undertone to his words. Jordan let go of the remote, which held itself in mid-air. He turned, staring up at the windows, pointing to the orb. "What?!" the scientist in the high room gasped.

"Sir!" another voice called out, "those readings are back! They're growing stronger!"

"Cleanse, Jordan!" the head doctor demanded. Jordan did so, slapping the button with his finger.

This time, a cleanse did not happen. The orb absorbed all the red energy, and then pulsed. The remote control exploded with a shockwave, and Jordan was thrown back some ten feet as he fell onto his stomach. Klaxons immediately went off, and Jordan heard the hubbub of the scientists in the air.

"-Not responding to our commands-"

"It won't shut down! We have a rouge-"

"-New energy reading! Alien to our-"

"-Feeding off the alpha sample! We may have to-"

Jordan stood up as, watching the orb with fixed, intent eyes. He wouldn't blink now, not even as huge bolts of static energy raced across the room, some just barely missing him. The orb, all on it's own, was moving.

"The signature is erratic! It's like magic!"

"Don't be ridiculous! There is no such thing as-"

"-gathering more power from the Alpha sample! We could be looking at-"

"No detection of internal structure to the new sample! Sentience can't be detected!"

"-possible readings of deliberate cosmic interference! I need a full spectro-"

Locked into place beneath the first crystal and hovering out of reach from the three pronged digits below it, the orb began to draw visible light and energy from the crystal above it. Slowly, the orange and amber object cracked and splintered into fragments, which then dissolved into gas, all flowing and spinning around the orb. Jordan stared into the orb.

He saw a single eye look back out at him. A woman's cool and amused voice said, "A little fun won't hurt the past."

Before Jordan Looseman, a huge, shimmering light was formed by the smooth stone as it reached out with it's new orbiting energy from the destroyed crystal. It took form, creating a bubble of pure white light. As Jordan watched it, he felt as if he was looking into a memory. His mind felt betrayed and confused just staring into the light- as if it couldn't be there.

Then it vanished, and was replaced by six men. All clad in armor.

From the ancient past.

Three men in red and golden armor stood, locked in position with their massive shields before them. Across them on the platform were three men in cloth and leather armor, but of shocking similar color, stood, martially prepared for combat. As the sirens above blared angrily, the six paused, and started to look around.

"General!?" the middle of the cloth-robed soldiers called out. "General Tzu!?"

"Jordan, what is going on there?!" the voice above demanded. Jordan never looked back, his eyes fixated on the soldiers before him.

Behind them the orb began to create a new trail of light. It shot to the windows and exploded the glass, causing numerous screams of panic and fear. Light of blinding white flashed out.

"Where are we!?" the middle of the metal clad soldiers cried out, glancing around, though still not breaking formation with his men. "You!" he pointed to Jordan, who flinched, "explain this metal prison! Who are these savages before me?!"

"Savages!?" the middle man in the trio before the massive shields barked. "We are not barbarians, you dog!" the man before him spat on his shield.

Without another word, the men before Jordan dived at one another, doing battle.

The scientist could only look up to the shattered glass above. He heard more screams, but now mixed with voices he did not recognize. Screams of war, battle, attack, retreat. The orb made another spear of light, and it shot through the metal wall seamlessly, impaling the rock and stone far behind the thick panels like it were paper.

All the while Jordan Looseman stood there, swallowed in the chaos spreading around him.

He couldn't say a word. Not that him being speechless was any different to his normal persona, but he couldn't say the only thought glued to his mind.

_What had they done?_

* * *

"Okay guys, with these pay-per-minute phones, as long as we're not restrained or anything, we should be able to stay in contact. Also as long as we're not in certain topographical regions. Or magic isn't cutting us off. Or Alien technology. Or-"

"GIMME PHONE!"

Mabel's screech nearly tossed Dipper off his feet. He begrudgingly handed over the first of three phones to his sister, who snatched it and instantly gave it a deep, long, whiff with her nose. "Ahh," she sighed, "smells like consumerism on a budget!"

"True dat, hambone," Soos nodded as he took the phone from Dipper.

"Thanks man," Wendy chuckled, and looked at her phone.

Waddles the Pig, sitting in the shade beside them, snorted and glared at Dipper.

"Sorry, as soon as they have 'pig-phones', I'll get you one, okay?" he promised Waddles. The pig seemed more content, and oinked casually. "Great."

Coming to the texted location for Zander's next call, the gang had come all the way to a town that was even smaller than Gravity Falls: a town named Rachel. Barely a hundred people lived there, and many lived off the land as ranchers or farmers. The highway going by the small town exited to a well-needed gas-station, which was where the caravan of the gang had stopped. In the hot summer sun, the four (including the pig) had taken to a large picnic umbrella. Much to Dipper's shock, a particular image had been popular on the way in- displayed on various welcome signs and even a few statues erected in their likeness.

Afterwards, Dipper was the only one who wasn't sitting down. Mabel was playing with her new phone, punching in various commands. "Hey-hey! It has a calculator. If you turn it upside down, it says boobs! Pffft hahaha!"

Wendy had quickly pocketed her own cellphone. "I still don't see why Soos and I can't use our own."

"If these get tracked onto us," Dipper explained as he paced back and forth, "we can just toss them out and get new ones. This way, with Zander's unlimited money, we can always stay in touch without worry."

"It also totally makes us feel like secret agents and cool stuff," Soos said. He then dramatically flipped open his phone, "yes, this is Captain Ramirez. I need four to be beamed down to the planet surface, dude."

"Hah, right," Dipper smiled, continuing to pace, "secret agents." He continued to pace, his hands behind his back as he stared at the ground. The three and waddles watched him go back and forth for a few moments, as the gravel underneath his sneakers scraped and scratched against the ground.

Wendy leaned into the others. "Uh... so, is Dipper okay?" she quietly asked.

"Maybe he's nervous?" Soos asked.

Mabel sighed, blowing a strand of her hair out of her face with a 'pfft'. "No. That is the look of Dipper when he's like," she held up her thumb and index finger, holding them barely a milimeter apart, "_this_ close to knocking a thing off his bucket list."

"Dipper has a bucket list?" Wendy gasped.

"What are you guys talking about?" Dipper asked. The three turned to him.

"That you have a bucket list," Soos shrugged. The two ladies smacked his arms. "I mean... you have a bucket 'lust'. Right."

Dipper stared at Soos, and then to Mabel. Behind his eyes, a quivering excitement was growing stronger and stronger.

"You see guys," Mabel said, and pointed to the sign on the gas station, "Dipper's always wanted to visit Area 51."

Dipper exploded. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" he shouted. "This is it! the big one! Next to the Bermuda triangle, it's one of the greatest large-scale mysteries on the North American continent!" he held out fingers, laying one out as he explained a theory, "Is it just a over-hyped research facility? Is it a secret alien base that the government is working with!?"

"Is it actually a candy factory run by a legion of short people?" Mabel chuckled.

"No one knows!" Dipper laughed, missing his sister's comment. "People claim that it's been de-classified, but the United States government can't be trusted with what they release anymore, since they've already lied about it in the past! So, for all we know, it could be nothing _or_ everything down there. And guys," Dipper pointed around, "this is one of the closest towns to it!"

The others looked around. True to Dipper's words, there wasn't a sign, poster, or welcome mat without a flying saucer, little green or gray alien, or some other wacky looking device for alien technology in it. As they looked around, they even noticed that the pole the umbrella stood on was a thinned-out gray alien, holding out the umbrella.

"This is one of the towns that basically borders that fascility!" Dipper grinned, "just think, we're like not even fifty miles away from one of the greatest kept secret bases in the world!"

"Well, not really," Soos said, "I mean, everyone knows about it, so it's not really a secret, is it?"

"Don't kill my hype, Soos," Dipper leaned closer, squinting his eyes as his tone became deadly, "you tread on thin ice. You've been warned." Soos leaned away, his eyes wide with fear.

"Well, Zander wanted us here for the call, right?" Wendy asked. "Not to get you too excited man, but maybe our next mission involves the area."

Dipper's face widened and a grin unlike any other spread across his face. "Oh my god! This is it! I'll have more than one reason to go to Area 51! I can finally do, go, see-"

"You tried, Wendy," Mabel patted the red-head's arm.

Dipper had turned, staring over the distant hills and mountains. "You're so close, you succulent mystery," he said with a deep, wanting tone.

"Ew. Dipper," Mabel pulled off her shoe and hit the back of his head with it, "stop it."

"Ow! What?!" he snapped to her.

"Stop talking creepy," she demanded. He lifted the shoe and threw it back, which Mabel caught on it's bee-line for her. "Bro," she started as he glared at her, "if you're lucky, Zander will totally send us to it. If not, we can come back and invade it maybe _after_ the world has been saved?"

Dipper grumbled, and pocketed his hands. "I guess," he sighed.

"Also, you're going to burn like a piece of bacon if you stay out there. Get in the shade, dummy," she told him. Aware of his skin tone, Dipper gasped and rushed to hide under the umbrella, feeling his neck. "Did you burn already?!" she laughed.

"...no?" Dipper guessed, feeling his neck. Soos and Wendy chuckled as Dipper nervously looked to his shoulders and back, trying to guess the amount of damage his pale skin took.

"Dude, you gotta be like me," Wendy explained, "undead or not, avoid the sun."

"Oho!" Soos held up a hand, "using a bad situation as a uplifting joke?! Wendy, that's rad," Soos said as she slapped his hand in high-five.

A loud buzz came from Dipper's pocket. Faster and more excited than previously, Dipper reached inside and flung out his own phone. As he lifted it open, Mabel cried out. "Hey! How come you get to keep yours?"

Dipper stared at her. "Because unlike you, I know how to hide my phone from hackers and things," Dipper said.

"Yeah right," Mabel crossed her arms, "probably just don't want to throw away all the pictures you took of Wendy."

Dipper's face went red-hot. Wendy pursed her lips and looked away along with Soos. Dipper's jaw was glued shut, but he snapped open his phone, and pressed the 'speaker' button. With visible effort, he lifted the phone. "We're here, Zander," he growled.

"Oh," the voice in the phone, "did I catch you all at a bad time?"

"Mabel is being evil," Dipper snarled. Mabel winked at him.

"Ah. Well," Zander's voice coughed, "at least you're all well. Right? Got the stones?"

"We've got two now," Dipper said, looking back to his car, "and they... don't seem to be doing anything," he admitted. "And more to come. So far, nothing to bad has come from them."

"Still, a horde of sentient, psionic, intelligent Bison, and a vampire and shape-shifter family. That's two for two for what I warned you," Zander reminded them, "magic is dangerous and tends to bring out the worst in people, as much as these stones will conduct and react to magic, it will attract things to them."

"At least it makes it kind of easy to tell where we could find them," Wendy said, ignoring Dipper's frowns at the phone from Zander's rhetoric.

"Exactly. Once in the geographic area, you guys seem more than capable of looking for these on your own," Zander paused. "That's good to hear. I was worried you'd be struggling."

"We're not new to these sorts of things," Soos shrugged, "like the one time we had to go chasing a pterodactyl to rescue waddles." Wendy stared at Soos, and then Waddles. The pig oinked at her.

"Right, something else I missed," she sighed.

"So, Zander," Dipper asked aloud, "where or what are you sending us to?"

A pause followed his questions. They heard shuffling on his end, but finally, Zander sighed. "I can't lie to you guys. I was considering doing this one myself. The dangerous nature of this one is pretty... bad. I'm sending you to-"

"YESSS!" Dipper screamed, hopping up and down with his phone, "YES! YES! YESSS!"

"... oh. Not exactly what I expected," Zander's voice floated over the sounds of Dipper doing a victory dance.

"Dipper has always wanted to go to Area 51. Even before Gravity Falls. Like me going to visit the Sev'ral Times Mansion, before I learned they were all clones," Mabel admitted.

"Wow. You guys," Wendy shook her head, "was there any day that passed while you visited where something _didn't_ happen?"

"Not really," Dipper admitted.

"Not once," Mabel said.

"...sixty days," Wendy stared off into the blue horizon, "sixty days at minimum. I remember like maybe ten. Dang."

"Well, to put it bluntly," Zander continued, "the area I think you all need to go is Groom Lake."

"The salt-flat next to Area 51?" Dipper giddily asked.

"Yes," Zander said, and Dipper gave another long and slow 'yessssss'," the facility itself is kind of to the side, but I can only guess that there's a whole ton of underground base for everyone to deal with. So be careful, and be quick."

"Quick? Any quicker than normal?" Wendy asked, leaning in.

"Yes. Time is not on our side here, remember," Zander explained, "and things are getting worse on my end."

"Uh, that just sounds like the most ominous thing you've ever said," Soos said.

"What's going on?" Mabel asked, reaching over the table and taking the phone from Dipper, "are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay. But our good friend, Graupner," Zander reminded them, "is out of sight."

"He's vanished?!" Dipper gasped. "How?"

"Well, he does have magic. The Paths teaches people how to battle magic, but not to _counter_ it. We were tracing his movements and efforts up until very recently, but now he's... vanished. Sources say he was just fleeing from us, but my gut says he's up to something big," Zander explained.

"Good," Wendy said around, "he'll be too distracted to come looking for us."

"Or that's exactly what he's doing," Zander added, "because I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that he's gathering his own collection of Starkissed Stones now."

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"No idea," Zander sighed, "that's the problem- you can do nearly anything with that stuff."

"So big jerk-face vanished, and he's doing evil stuff," Mabel summarized, "that's not anything new. He always runs and hides like a baby and then comes back pretending to be better. We'll still beat his stupid head again."

Zander laughed. "Gotta hand it to you Mabel, you talk a good fight. Just like you fight a good one." Mabel's cheeks flared up, and she laid the phone on the table as she held the edges for balance, her eyes unfocused as she swayed back and forth.

"Th-thanks," she managed.

"But seriously," he continued, "hurry and get that stone. The Steindorf company has been dissolved, and people looking into it now just vanish. Graupner is playing so dirty he might as well just be mud at this point. We need to hurry, or more people will get hurt, not to mention more and more magic leaking into the world."

"Right," Dipper said, grabbing his phone again, "then we'll be on our way. Wish us luck."

"I always have," he said, "but I never need to. Trained fighters, and strong minds, and not to mention Wendy's condition, make a great team."

"I can't really think what I have is helpful," Wendy grumbled.

"Hey," the soothing voice of a concerned Zander called, "wraith's have it hard, but there's always hope, okay?" he said, "just remember that." She stared at the phone in Dipper's hands, a strong crease in her brow. "Guys, good luck." The phone clicked as the connection dropped.

"Anyone else seeing stars?" Mabel asked.

"No," Soos sighed, "I just see that creepy guy over by the gas station staring at us half way."

"How do you half-stare at you?" Dipper asked.

Soos instead pointed. "Like that."

Wendy and Dipper turned, and indeed, there was a man who had one eye fixed on them and another eye crooked off in the distance. He had a messy collection of alien gear, shirts, pants, and his own little umbrella. Staring at them as he panted in the hot air, he only just then realized he was noticed. Reaching behind him, he lifted a large simple rolled hat of tin foil, and placed it atop his head.

"You wanna buy an alien?" he asked them from the distance, a crooked smile flashing gnarled teeth.

"Aliens have feelings too dude!" Soos barked, standing up, "you can't sell _anybody_!" The man barked, and retreated behind the building, carrying his gear with him. Soos huffed, "to think if Yuki had seen him."

Dipper snorted. "He'd probably see that and know what kind of alien species it was. Tell him how 'inaccurate the depiction' was or something," he smiled, the tugging sadness of their lost friend in his brain. Then the re-realization came to be again. "And I get to go to Area 51! On official business! YES!" Waddles oinked in approval, and the gang set off into the cars yet again.

Barely half an hour away, the gang had begun to drive on dirt and entirely un-paved roads. The entire ride, Dipper had begun to hum various themes from his childhood- the Z-Files, Space Trek, and other sci-fi tunes bothered Mabel as she sat next to her brother, watching the climate around them pass by.

"I wonder if there are lizards under those rocks," she pointed to a large collection of boulders. "Maybe they'll squirt blood out of their eyes at their enemies! I'd be soo cool if I could do that," she mused to Dipper, a grin on her face.

Dipper was in a different world. He was in bliss. He was going to the first bucket list item he'd ever had. His mind raced at ideas, conspiracies, theories, vague sentences that drifted into nothing. Finally he settled on a single thought that caused him pause.

_How do we get near the base?_

The base was infamous for it's high security. Heck, the gates to the place would be coming up soon, and he planned on stopping the car and turning around once he saw the gates. But the entire perimeter of the base was linked by machines for monitoring the area. Supposedly a mile in each direction could spot the slightest trace of human movement. If that were the case, they'd be seen long before they had a chance to begin sneaking.

Then again... Dipper had impossible solutions.

He turned to the seat behind himself as a quick glance. His backpack, along with Mabel's, sat on the seats. Inside, he knew there to be three journals filled to the brim with magic and other answers that defied logic.

Zander's words echoed in his mind. _'Magic is dangerous and tends to bring out the worst in people'_. Dipper knew he was wrong. Magic had risks associated with it, certainly, but it was, by nature, a corrupting force. It could do good just as well as it could do evil. Maybe, this time, it could do a bit of good for them.

"Look!" Mabel pointed ahead.

Dipper craned his neck forward and saw them. Distant signs. "They'll be for us, warning us that this is now dangerous territory. This is where we stop," Dipper grinned, and pulled the car to the side. Behind him, the car and motorcycle also came to a halt. "Let's go Mabel, and we should bring our backpacks with us," he said, "in case we need water."

"Or in your case, stupid amounts of sun-tan," she joked. Dipper grumbled at her, but let it slide. As he reached for his backpack, he checked the main pocket- the three journals were there. His sister, as he checked, didn't notice him looking. Maybe, just for now, she didn't need to know his intentions. He could probably use Soos to distract her so he could create a spell to hide their movements.

"So guys," Dipper said as he and Mabel met with Wendy, Soos, and Waddles, "we're going to head that way," he pointed to a valley and series of hills, it'll get us close to a break in their monitoring equipment, and we may be able to sneak by that way."

"Anything we need to do?" Soos asked, "I'm super ready for this. Secret Agent Soos, on the job!"

"For now, just stick together with everyone, and try avoiding their antennas," Dipper said, "they can spot you a good mile away, so if there's one nearby, we've already been spotted and need to run."

"What happens if they spot us?" Mabel asked, checking on her brother. His face lost some of the light, and he gulped. "Really? They'll go all cover-up on our butts?"

"They'll snipe us," Dipper said quietly.

"Hardcore, dude," Soos mumbled.

"So this is important when I say stick together. Don't break off, or anything. We could be in a race against time if we're spotted, so be careful." he paused, taking a short breath. "Ready?" he asked. Three nods, and an oink from waddles, and he said, "let's move."

Hiking through the desert was less fun than Dipper had anticipated. Granted, he was giddy and had to keep himself from giggling each time he remembered that he was next to the infamous government facility. Yet the sun beating down on his hat, the dry air and dust all around him, and the worry of potential death should they be spotted at any time; this slowly was becoming more and more the mission rather than his dream.

Behind him, Mabel was finding more of a chance to enjoy herself. Without breaking pace, she would bend down, scoop up a rock with a, "Any Lizard under here? No? Phooey," and then continue until she saw such a rock. Mabel being herself, if not just a little chatty.

Dipper craned his head around to check on Soos. The man-child was also poking his head about- looking for signs of trouble or antennas. He seemed constantly under alert- his head swaying from side to side as he combed the region before him. Behind him was Waddles the pig, who casually trotted behind the man.

Some five minutes past that, and at least another dozen or so attempts from Mabel to look under a rock, Dipper chanced and scanned at Wendy.

Her eyes were lost in thought. Deep and distant and unfocused, she seemed more on autopilot than anything else. He tried scanning her for an indication of the thoughts she had. She was... tensed up. he shoulders were taught, and her hands clasped into fists. Nothing, in Dipper's recent memory, said that she had been insulted.

Then again, Mabel did let it slip that he had taken on picture here or there of her.

Dipper turned back as Wendy adjust her stare to the horizon. He was walking ahead, and glanced to the sun. That heat on his face had been there before the rays struck him. Mabel just had to go and tell her about it, didn't she? Still, maybe it wasn't cool that he had snuck those pictures. I mean, it wasn't like they were anything bad. Just when she was chilling with Mabel, or with Soos... or alone, like that last one.

Along the side of a steep hill, Dipper stumbled, his foot catching the edge of a rock. "Gah," he hissed, hopping in the moment.

"Oh!" Mabel suddenly leapt down, and grasped a wriggling figure in her hands. "Looky! A horned Lizard!" she said proudly, holding up a very upset looking lizard with spiky armor all along it's back.

"Aw dude," Wendy pushed past Soos, who was busy looking up the hill slightly, "I love those stupid little things."

"Huh? That's not very nice," Mabel scolded Wendy, puffing her lips as she spoke, "she really does like you, mister lizard," Mabel said as the small creature glared at her. Waddles approached, attempting to sniff the Lizard, only to have it hiss in his face.

"I mean stupid in an endearing way, man," Wendy rolled her eyes, "like when I talked about my brothers. Dumb jerks."

"Oh! Or me and my stupid brother," Mabel laughed with Wendy.

Dipper, glaring at the two, adjusted himself. "Okay, ha-ha, funny. Can we go now?" he asked.

"Sure! We've got a new navigator!" Mabel declared, and held up the lizard, "say hello to mister Tourniquet!"

"Tourniquet?" Dipper asked, cocking his head to the side. "Why Tourni-" Mabel gave a loud 'squee', and then promptly squeezed the lizard. Two small jets of blood shot out from the corners of the eyes of the horned lizard. Dipper yelped and leapt backwards, holding his hands up in defense. "Mabel! That's horrible!"

She cackled, "The power of the desert sucka!"

"You could hurt it!" Dipper pleaded.

"Nah, that's normal for these dudes," Wendy shrugged, "totally gross, but whatever. It makes things doubt wanting to eat 'em."

"That's freaky," Dipper stated.

"That's SCIENCE!" Mabel roared.

With loud panting, Soos can jogging up the hill again. "More like nature dude. Science is what happens after you make nature crazier."

Dipper turned to Soos, and his head slowly turned to the side. Soos was carrying something large, long, and metallic. "Soos, I don't remember you taking a walking stick or anything. What is that?" he asked.

"This? I dunno, looked like an antenna, so I decided to grab it and take it down so no one could track us," Soos nodded.

The three stared at him. Wendy was first to speak. "You walked up and dismantled an antenna?"

"Eh, it had no wires or anything, so instead I kicked out this camera here," Soos pointed to a sophisticated yet dangling by a wire device, which pointed at Wendy and Mabel. The three continued to stare at him. From his accomplished and satisfied light in his eyes, a new darkness crept in. "Uhh," Soos paused, holding the device in his hands higher up, "so, if there was no wires, chances are that it's still recording, right?" he asked.

"DIVE!" Dipper shouted.

He, Mabel, Wendy, and Waddles slammed into the ground. Mabel cuddled the lizard around her body and wiggled closed to Waddles. There was decent enough protection to assume that should bullets begin to race around, they would have some amount of cover. Dipper felt, strangely enough, a shadow lingering over him. He turned his gaze up, and saw Soos still standing, clenching his shoulder up as he held the antenna above him.

"Soos!" he hissed, "the heck are you doing!?"

"Well, maybe if they see I have the antenna they won't shoot? Like, you know," Soos chuckled and swallowed, his words trembling, "property damage and stuff."

"Wait," Wendy poked her head up, addressing the gang, "if that thing has been running all this time, and can detect things for like a mile, people would have known we were here a while back," she pointed out.

"Oh boy," Mabel gulped, "bad news to really bad news."

"No," Dipper countered, and slowly stood up. "They'd have responded by now. They don't let people get closer without responding in force. So..." he turned and looked up the large hill that divided them and the grandest of mysteries. "... so something isn't right," he stated.

"Dipper?" Wendy asked, "if something isn't right, what could it be?"

Dipper turned, his eyes wide. "I have no id-"

A whistling in the air caught his attention. It was coming from behind, and getting louder and louder. He spun just in time to see what could have been shards of black in the air growing and becoming full-sized arrows as they flew into view. He jumped backwards, falling next to his sister in the dirt, but avoiding the arrows that meant to puncture his chest or back.

"Arrows?!" he gasped.

"Man, the economy must have got to everyone," Soos admitted, "even Area 51 had budget cuts."

"No, look!" Wendy pointed ahead to the hills, where a squadron of men rushed down, loud clanking of some sort of metal and leather armor announcing their loud arrival. As they came closer, two more arrows were fired. "Hey!" she shouted and dived forward. He hand reached out, and with a loud thud, an arrow struck her hand as the other missed her by a foot. "That hurt!" she roared, tearing the arrow shaft out from her hand like it were nothing.

The first soldier, in gold and yellow armor of an ancient make ran at her, drawing a thin, straight blade which shone in the light as he thrust at her. "Submit to our majesties rule!" he shouted, his exotic face drawn back in a scream. Wendy took to her training and ducked aside, and made to kick. The man gasped as her foot lifted him back into the air a foot, and he was dropped as she brought herself back, poised to fight as he fell to the floor.

"Take them down!" one behind the now groaning warrior shouted, "for _Wu_!"

"Tourniquet, I choose you!" Mabel roared and threw the lizard at the speaking man. The aptly named lizard flew through the air and landed, smack middle in the man's face. The warrior instantly dropped his sword and shield with a scream, and began to try prying the creature off his face as it bled all over him.

"What is this dragon!? What is it doing to me?!"

"Captain!" the next closest soldier came to his aid, but Mabel was already on them. With a whirl of movement and then a twist as she leapt into the air, she delivered a flying roundhouse kick into the chest of the captain. Even with his sufficient armor, he flew backwards, the lizard plopping off harmlessly and scattering away. The other soldier took swings at Mabel, who ducked, swerved, and dodged from harms way. After three attacks, Mabel jabbed at his neck, and knocked him to his back as she swept away his knees.

As he fell, the two archers behind him fell into view. Mabel had nowhere to hide.

"Antenna! I choose you!" Soos shouted as he took his turn and hurled the person-sized metal pole at the two men. Stunned from their attack, they could only watch as a thirty pound pipe with wires and gadgets spun at them like a discus of death. They were crushed underneath it, and moaned as they fell to their sides.

Dipper rushed up to the others. "Nice," Dipper sighed, "glad we could deal with that."

"We?" Mabel chuckled and looked at him.

Dipper looked back. "Well... yeah... I realized that something was off..."

"That was Wendy, dude," Mabel pointed out with a small smirk.

Dipper blinked, and gasped. "Wendy!" he turned, and she was checking her hand.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, still holding the arrow that wounded her. "This isn't the first time I got nailed with an arrow before."

"Wait, really?" Dipper asked.

"Well, okay, no," Wendy shrugged, "technically, it was a crossbow bolt, but whatever."

"But... you don't have a scar," Dipper pointed out.

"Oh! Did it happen while you were a wraith, and so it's healed over magically?" Soos asked excitedly.

"No. It happened right here," Wendy pointed to just below her naval. "Hence, no bikinis for me."

"Awww, lame," Mabel wined. "I bet you look great in them."

"Eh, scar is gnarly, but no one else probably wants to see it," Wendy shrugged.

Mabel grinned and looked to Dipper. "I bet I know someone who would want to-" Dipper was so fast with his punch to her nose that she couldn't repel it. She felt the jab and pulled back. "Ow! Ahhh, dang it," she mumbled, holding her face.

"Let's not get too off track here," Dipper said, desperately trying to face away from the three. Instead, he stared to the five defeated men, who had all fallen to the ground. "Anyone else recognize these soldiers uniforms?"

"Ah, yes," Soos nodded, "rugby gear."

"No!" Dipper barked at him.

"Aww," Soos hung his head, "thought I nailed it."

Dipper sighed and lifted the closest to him up, showing his chest armor off. "This is ancient Chinese Wu dynasty warrior material."

The red-head gasped, smiling. "And you know that, how?"

Mabel was quick to the answer as she lowered her hand from her mildly smacked nose. "Because he's a jerk-know it all."

"Terracotta army," Dipper explained, "same type of gear. Granted, slightly older than that, but the make and design matches closely," Dipper debated with himself.

"So," Wendy stepped closer, leaning down to the man next to Dipper, "what the heck are a few ancient Chinese soldiers doing nearby area 51?" she asked.

Dipper had to take a moment to answer. One, Wendy leaning in so close to him was a moment where his head began to swim. Two, the first answer that came to mind was more than ridiculous. Yet as he re-considered his thoughts, there was only one answer that continued to pop in his head.

"Time-Travel," Dipper sighed.

"More conspiracy theories," Mabel mumbled, "anything else we should be on the look out?" she asked him with a quick stick out of her tongue.

"Yeah, a whole sea of things could be waiting for us," Dipper said, standing back up, "but I get the feeling that if these guys were out and wondering around, we have more pressing issues to deal with."

"Agreed, intrepid analysis," Soos nodded as he and Waddles stepped up to them. "We should totally go find the secret base and take it for our own and stuff. Sounds totally awesome."

"That it does," Dipper said with a sinister air. "Since we still haven't had our heads blown off by snipers, I think it's safe to say we can just climb the path these losers took." He turned to the others, "shall we?"

The four and the pig left behind the knocked out and bested soldiers. The less stable hillside was covered with loose rocks and small boulders, becoming a problem for Dipper as he took the point on the climb. Eventually Wendy took over for him, and lead the way up and over the hill. With her guidance, the four made it to the top.

"Huh. Just as desert-y and dry as I expected," Mabel sighed, patting her clothes from dust and dirt. Some of it got into her mouth. "Blech! Ugh! It tastes like nerds and conspiracy theorist sweat."

"You dudes hear something?" Soos asked.

Waddles oinked loudly. Gathering the attention of the four, he pointed his nose with curt jab. Towards the bottom of the valley before them, a sea of movement washed and waved before them. Crashes and cries of valor and swears of victory rang out in the air. Dipper, with his countless hours of studying could see the entire topography before him like he had always seen it written down. Except that was much more color than he expected. Gold and red shone below in clashing surges of men.

"What the heck-doodles is going down... down there?" Mabel asked.

"I don't know," Dipper said slowly, "but I bet it has something to do with why we're here."

"Hate to say it," Wendy sighed, "that was my guess as well."

"Then onward my intrepid warriors!" Soos declared. Waddles squealed behind them, his little legs trembling.

"Oh, Waddles," Mabel turned to the pig, "maybe you should go back to the car, okay? This could get really dangerous."

Waddles gave them all a solid stare. The black beady eyes in his head studied them all, and finally he turned. Though not all had Mabel's animal connection, but they were certain that the pig swayed away from them in a very defeated manner. After a short pause, the pig vanished over to the side, leaving them be.

"He'll be okay, Mabel," Dipper told her. "He survived worse at Gravity Falls, didn't he?"

"I guess so," Mabel nodded, and scratched her eyelids and gave out a sniffle. "Let's get this over quickly so we don't leave him hanging."

"Can I now say my thing?" Soos said. The three nodded to him. "Yus! Onward my intrepid warriors!"

Climbing down the hill wasn't a problem. Doing so while avoiding detection was much more difficult. The pebbles and loose rock on the side of the steep hill made it a treacherous climb down anyway, but darting quickly behind rocks and boulders of large size was dangerous. More than once Dipper and Soos nearly tripped and made the spill down the hill face-first.

As they got closer and closer, the sight grew closer and closer. They were looking at not a single army- but two.

Armies in the middle of an on-going and vicious battle.

Behind a rock, the four stared atop a final, steep hill.

"You're kidding me," Dipper whispered as the four leaned over the rock.

"What is it?" Wendy asked, just above him on their side, while Mabel and Soos leaned over on the other side.

"It's the Romans," Dipper gasped.

"Romans?" Mabel and Soos replied.

"I think they're from the Republic," Dipper said, squinting at the armors, "It's kind of hard to tell when they're all fighting one anoth-" a particular duel between a roman soldier and Chinese soldier caught their attention. All but Dipper pulled back, worried they'd be seen. Dipper watched the fight, his mouth hung open and nearly drooling. "That's soo cool."

"Down!" Wendy hissed, and tugged on his vest. He did oblige and pull himself down. "So now two armies. This could help, right?" Wendy asked around.

"I mean, maybe," Dipper mused, "these are probably some of the most successful armies of their regions-

"And they're out there just duking it," Mabel commented.

"So I think we're looking at some sort of disastrous experiment," Dipper suggested, "and now the whole area has to deal with crazy ancient warriors vying for control over Area 51."

"Wow! they got up to date if they already know the strategic value of this base," Soos whistled, clearly impressed.

"Or maybe they just want control of where ever they just appeared," Dipper said as he leaned back out. "Either way, we could use their focus on each other as a hope to get around them. As long as the Romans didn't happen to have their artillery, we should be okay here."

"Oh good," Soos nodded, and he and Mabel also looked around their side, as Wendy peeked around Dipper.

"Just curious," Mabel pondered, "did Roman artillery look like a crazy over-sized rubber band crossbow thingy?"

"That's one of them," Dipper nodded, and looked behind the rock to his sister, "why?" She leaned back, a terrible look in her face as she grimaced at him. Suddenly he understood. "Oh."

A ballista bolt split the rock in half, missing Wendy's bottom half by mere inches. As the four screamed, the boulder split into two pieces, and along with it's sudden split, the placement on the hill shifted. The two duos fell apart, rolling down the hill in free-fall as the halves of the boulders created paths in the earth. They were out of control, spilling in separate directions.

Dipper landed on his back, staring up at the sky. His shoulders, knees, elbows, hips- it all ached. Lying there, he forgot what had just happened- only that his head was ringing a little bit. Still, he heard his name called out again.

"Mabel?" he called.

No, a red splash of hair covered his face, and Wendy appeared before him.

"Dipper!" she called, "get up!"

"I'm okay," he told her, and he slowly stood up, and bent down, brushing the dirt and dust off his figure. "Are you oka-OOOHHHHHH," he looked around.

Wendy and him had rolled right into the middle of the ancient Chinese army. Spears and swords surrounded them, and not a single face of the soldiers looked friendly. Wendy was at his back, her arms raised in a defensive posture.

"Dipper," Wendy asked him, "when I say go, just run."

"No way," Dipper shook his head, reaching for his backpack slowly.

"They can't kill me, remember?" she hissed at him.

"Yeah, maybe," he told her, "but you can't win."

"I don't need to."

"I do," Dipper grinned, and pulled out one of the journals. His fingers found the icon of the number three, and he felt armed. "Wendy, you got my back, right?"

She turned briefly, and a grin crawled onto her face. "Always, dude."

"Cover me. And whatever you see me do," Dipper begged as he flipped open the pages rapidly, "don't tell Mabel."

* * *

The amount of research for this episode was stupid. I never recommend writing about both Ancient Romans, Ancient Chinese, and Area 51 in the same entry. Not that... it's a common mix anyway. Unless you're writing a fan-fiction for, uh, Civilization V or something. Hm. Now that I think about it...

Anyway! More revealing, more danger, and more Dipper being a GOOF! :D I do enjoy Dipper when he's just a tad exposed. He's always knowing, but he's still a teenager who does teenager things now and again. After all, he's somehow related to Mabel.

Boy, Zander seemed to know what he was talking about earlier, didn't he? :p

Sadly, I don't have much else to say for now. Hope you guys are ready for the action packed next chapter, in which the gang has to fix the mess that the scientists of the Black Research Facility Area 51 caused!

Anyhoo, seeya guys next time!

(One of the two halves of the boulders rolls towards EZB, who is directly in his path.) Uh-oh! Incoming danger! (he then casually takes his rolling chair and, well, rolls aside. The boulder half flies away without problem.)

Ha! Not today, sucker! (The boulder suddenly stops, spins around, and makes a Bee-line for EZB, who can only gulp.) Oh. Spoke way, waaay too soon- (EZB is squashed by the metric ton of weight that is the rock half.)


	72. Warriors of Groom Lake: Part 2

"Chill! C'mon dude!"

Swoosh.

Soos ducked and then popped back up. "Seriously, I'm totally not trying to fight even. Look," he lifted his hands into the air, "see? No fighty."

Swoosh. The sword from the roman officer barely missed the top of Soos's head as he again ducked directly down and un-stepped the attack.

Exasperated, he turned to his back, where Mabel was. "No joking around with these guys, am I right?" he asked her.

Mabel, who was currently mid-grapple with a much larger man in armor grunted. She tossed him up, jumped and then kicked out. It was enough to lift him up into the air and toss him back, where he and his decorated armor clattered to the ground. Mabel spun around, worn, but not backing down.

"You totally are!" she called back, and spun back to face three soldiers who charged. Their mistake; she swung her foot around, tripping one into the other two.

"You'd think-" Soos ducked and popped back up, avoiding another attack, "After seven dodges with no-" he again dodged, "retaliation, they'd get-" he ducked, "the idea." Soos turned finally back, looking at his attacker with a sad stare. "I mean dude, I don't even have a sword or stuff. But if we gotta," he then took a step out, and assumed his best boxing position.

"Heretics and barbarians will be rooted out," the soldier in front of Soos proclaimed, "and the glory of the Roman Legion will-"

Soos jabbed during his tirade. With a tooth-breaking crunch, the face of the legionnaire was pushed back and into the face. Soos pulled back his meaty hand, a defiant glimmer in his eye. The face of his opponent was horribly vacant. A toothy, broken smile was now on his face, and his eyes rolled back up into it's sockets as he fell backwards into a loud clatter and crash.

"Ow," Soos held his hand, "like, I know you can punch people," Soos claimed to Mabel, unaware of the sudden fear driven into the surrounding men by his performance, "but how the heck do you deal with the 'ouch' factor, dude?"

"The defeat of them is soo much better than my own pain!" Mabel quoted, flipping up and kicking someone only to land and deliver three quick punches across a man's upper body and head. "But for real," Mabel then turned, wincing as she held out her hands, "they suuuuuuck. Punching faces is the WORST. Well, except for, maybe shoulders?"

"It all hurts man! Why can't everyone be nice and fat like me? Fat doesn't hurt when you punch it," Soos claimed.

"Preach it, brotha," Mabel declared, and the two took posture again.

Only then did they realize that the whole of soldiers around them had taken to a shield wall surrounding them, with spears directed right at their throats.

"Oops," Mabel gulped, her hands slowly raising above her head. She then hissed at knocked her head to the side, "battlefield awareness, one oh one. Arline would _kill_ me."

"Nah, more like scold you and then do more crazy martial arts with you," Soos chuckled, "but yeah, this isn't good." He too raised his arms above his head, aware of the danger.

"Surrender!" a voice rang out.

"One step ahead, dawg," Soos said.

"If you resist, we shall have you crucified," the voice cried out, approaching the circle from the outside of the army. Confident and in stride, a man came closer.

"Who could this be?" Soos dramatically called out as he and Mabel spun to face the on comer. Stepping out from the soldiers as four stepped aside, yet never lowered their spears from Soos and Mabel, a man approached. Clad in a single solid breastplate but with a draping of red and gold that went all the way from his shoulder to his knee. Short, thin brown hair and a strong brow faced them as the man eyed them. Soos gasped. "King Leonidas!"

"No," Mabel giggled, poking his arm, "that's Julius Caesar."

"Oh, I love salads," Soos exclaimed.

The man before the two, motioned for men on the other side of the circle. The battle still raging on in the distance, Mabel and Soos felt rope slowly being dragged across their wrists. "Your knowledge has not betrayed you. I am General Julius Caeser, of the Roman Republic. You two are now my captives. Once this battle is concluded, I will have my men instruct you to retain their armor and weapons; is that understood?"

"Uh, not really, cus," Mabel began to explain, "we're sort of on our mission to save the world, so we can't stick around and polish armor."

"Also, slavery is totally abolished here in America," Soos added.

The men around them chuckled, shaking their heads. Julius shrugged.

"You speak strange things. Amusing, but clearly mad," he turned to the men in the circle. "We will take them to the neutral zone for guarding over! Should they resist or attempt to flee, you may slay them." With a push, Mabel and Soos stumbled forward as Julius Caesar turned and lead the way himself.

"Well, that was fun," Mabel sighed as she felt her feet carry her forward.

"Sorry Mabel," Soos looked to her as they slugged behind Caesar, crestfallen, "I totally distracted you from being awesome, and it got us caught."

"Don't worry about it Soos," Mabel decided said, "knowing Dipper, he's on top of things, and is coming to save us now. Just you wait. He's on top of things."

* * *

"Wendy, help!" Dipper cried out, diving under a series of cuts and thrusts from no less than five ancient Chinese warriors.

The redhead had already stolen a spear thrown at her. With her newest jacket in tatters, she turned it to it's side and swung it like a bat. Five heads met the blunt end of the spear and fell aside, letting Dipper get to his feet.

"C'mon dude!" she pleaded with Dipper before turning to fend for her own. "Mabel was teaching you things, right? What's going on?" she said, blocking a large falchion sword from cutting into her side, and punching the attacker across the face.

"I'm trying something new!" Dipper called, out, stepping back with Wendy as he continued reading into the journal.

"What is it exactly you-" a spear cut into her sleeve jacket, drawing a blossom splash of red, "-OW!" she swung the end of her stolen spear out across the man's face, "I LIKED THAT JACKET!" she yelled.

"I'm trying to," Dipper dodged and kicked in between the legs of his most recent attacker, who fell to the ground moaning in pain, "trying to do something crazy!"

"Wait, what?" she finally gave him a quick, solid look. Her eyes widened as he scanned through pages. "The journal- Dipper?!" she gasped, and jumped past him, slamming a foot into the coming spearman, knocking him aside. "Don't tell me-"

"Magic?" Dipper finished for her, "yeah."

"No way man," Wendy said, backing up to him again, "you don't need it."

"I can't keep up with you right now," Dipper explained, "at least not physically. I need something else to help out!"

"Dude, we both know how that always turns out!" Wendy shouted. Then she gasped. Turning around, yet another spearman had gotten to her. Her leg had a large gash in it. "STOP TEARING MY CLOTHES!" she shouted, and without a notice to her injury (which was already closing up rapidly) she spun around and struck him his jaw. He was cast aside, the impact loud enough and strong enough to knock teeth from his mouth.

"Just trust me!" Dipper begged, now directly behind her. "Uhh," he finally found what he was looking for- and gasped. "Yes!"

"Dipper-" Wendy turned, her eyes pleading, "you know this is-"

"Dangerous, yeah!" Dipper nodded, "but I need to keep up with you!" he replied. The green orbs that were her eyes were lost in a confusing whirlwind of emotions, each contradicting one another. She was mad he wouldn't listen. Proud that he wouldn't leave her behind. Scared of what might happen.

Dipper added. "Please? Just don't tell Mabel."

Wendy groaned, and spun around. "Make it work, man," she said.

Clearing his throat, Dipper read aloud, feeling conviction in his as he read from the pages. "_Aes Appareo, Telum Tutor, Circulus Cingo_!" he shouted, praying that the spell he was reading was accurate. Thus far, the notes of Stanford Pines had yet to be inaccurate.

Two dots of white light shone underneath Dipper. He had done it! He laughed as the soared ahead, one directly behind him passing under Wendy who gasped in shock. Fifteen feet forward is arced across the cracked, dry earth until it then turned, both moving counter-clockwise.

Men rushed over the newly-created lines, ready to attack Dipper and Wendy. As they did, their weapons slowly left their hands, floating above their heads. Gasps of shock and awe, some cases yells of fear, permeated the air. Spears, swords, daggers, arrows- all manners of weapons that befell in the thirty foot diameter Dipper made slowly lifted into the air. Holding his hands above, he called out loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Defend myself and Wendy!" he shouted.

All the enchanted weapons then shot downwards, and began to beat away those still too stunned to react to Dipper. The weapons were... inefficient, beating at those in their way rather than cutting or stabbing, but the job was done either way. Dipper and Wendy were finally alone in a circle of foes, and between them a fence of magically animated ancient weapons.

"Okay," Wendy nodded, "kind of cool."

"Now we just need to figure out something else to get out," Dipper said, and Wendy turned to look over his shoulder, "if we can find a single enchant or charm that we could use, maybe to convince others that we need to be let go..."

"Dipper?" Wendy said, looking up and away. The sounds of marching had grown again.

"Maybe instead if we tried molding the earth!" he suggested.

"Dipper," Wendy mumbled, now at his back again, "you might want to look up."

"One second," Dipper waved a hand through the air, "turning us incorporeal for an hour isn't a bad idea either. Which page was that? Shoot-"

"Dipper!" Wendy shouted.

Perplexed she was shouting at him, Dipper looked up.

Before him was the entire front line of the Roman forces. They too had amounted a large shield wall, with various spears pointing out at he and Wendy. Gulping, he turned around, and groaned. The Chinese forces had done the same, their spears and arrows at the ready should a fight continue. In the middle was him and Wendy, alone with nearly three dozen floating, animated weapons.

"Okay, so we're in between two armies now," Dipper assessed quietly, "what could go wrong?"

"Prepare a volley!" a Chinese voice called out.

"Jinxed," Wendy groaned.

"Ready the Ballista!" A Roman voice shouted.

"Double jinxed," she groaned again.

"I think arrows will stop," Dipper told her, "but I'm not willing to put down money on the spell stopping ballista. That's a lot of inertia we're talking about."

"Prepare to fire!" both sides shouted simultaneously.

"Dipper, you got any more of that magic?!" Wendy snapped to him.

Dipper spun in his spot. One side was just as bad as the other. Both ancient forces were poised to continue fighting, either them, or each other with the two stuck in the middle of it. Dipper flashed through journal three yet again- the next pages were all animals and anomalies of Gravity Falls. He had to act quick. He had to...

"We surrender!" Dipper shouted high into the air.

The men on both fronts paused. Orders to fire were not given.

"We what?" Wendy stared at him.

"Just... hold out a second," Dipper explained quietly, and turned back to the sky. "I and my accomplice surrender!"

"To which side?" A voice closer to Wendy demanded. The two turned, and a shorter man with long black hair, and well groomed moustache that fell past his chin stepped forward.

"Ah, if Mabel was here now she'd love that hat," Dipper chuckled, staring at the small box-like top. Then he recognized the figure. "Oh my god, that's Sun Tzu."

"Man, like the inventor of war?" Wendy asked. Dipper nodded. "And I thought running into Shia Labeouf in Portland once was weird, now I'm looking at a ancient dead one."

Dipper turned and stared at her. "You met Shia Labeouf?"

"Please answer," Sun Tzu called back out, redirecting their attention, "you have not specified to which side you wish to surrender to."

"Indeed," another voice called out. Stepping out from the Roman ranks, to Dipper's continuing shock and excitement, was none other than Julius Caeser.

"This is the craziest thing ever," Dipper panted, "the greatest ancient generals of all time on the same battlefield!" he held a hand to his chest, "breath Dipper! Breath!"

Wendy patted his back. "We can freak out another time. Remember, they're trying to kill us now?"

Dipper panted, and swallowed. "Y-yeah, right, you're right," he said.

"Surrendering to one side is necessary," Caesar called out. His eyes glazed over the forces behind the twins, and their row of still floating swords. His eyes met Sun Tzu, and he nodded. "General." Sun Tzu gave a curt bow back. Yet the Roman looked back to the two. "Now choose."

Dipper couldn't believe he was about to say anything to either of these men, and yet he could not resist the chance. "Why do we have to pick a side?"

Sun Tzu spoke up, "surrender makes one side your masters until this conflict is over. At that point, necessary steps will be taken to consolidate with you."

"What?" Wendy asked.

"They say they need to know where we're going so they get to claim us and not the other," Dipper rapidly re-iterated. Wendy blew hair out of her face with a low, unenthused raspberry. "Exactly," Dipper nodded.

"Now hurry and choose," Julius called out.

"What's the hurry?" Dipper called to both sides, "here I thought you and your men would want a rest?" The two generals stared at him, a flash of cold to his words, yet no reply. "Maybe, uh, what this is a chance for a moment to break, right?" Dipper said, turning to both sides.

"My men are more than capable of turning the scales in our favor once this interruption has been ceased," Julius declared.

"I find that unlikely," Sun Tzu smirked as he shouted back, "else you would have exploited said tactic earlier. The battle won fastest are the warriors less lost." Julius grinned back.

"I can't fool you so easily, it would seem," he called back.

"I graciously accept the compliment," Sun Tzu nodded.

Dipper was tap-dancing in place, his face whipping to each speaker as they communicated civilly. "This is the coolest thing ever. I knew Area 51 would be amazing, but not _this_ amazing!"

"Dude, they're just chatting," Wendy said dully.

"But it's who's talking! The greatest minds of warfare having a calm chat in our days!? I wish I could record-" Dipper gasped, and then reached inside for his phone, and rapidly pressed buttons, "c'mon, c'mon! Record!" he gasped, and held his phone up.

"Yet for a man so confident in his own tactical recognition," Julius called out, "your own progress is unremarkable thus far."

"Patience proves more than a virtue," Sun Tzu calmly retorted.

"So does seizing the moment," Julius replied.

"Rushing the moment permits the chance of accident," Sun Tzu wiggled his finger.

"Yet the scales are even when neither side has strategized. Take the moment proudly, or else someone shall take it from you," Julius replied.

Sun Tzu nodded. "Well spoken."

Dipper gasped, feeling his legs get wobbly. "How does this ever compare to movies!?"

"HEY!" Wendy shouted out, driving the attention back to her. "We're still here!"

"Aww, don't interrupt them," Dipper wined, yet he put his phone away. "That recording could make us money."

"We don't need to be anyone's prisoner," she called out.

"A women speaking for the man?" Sun Tzu smirked, stroking his moustache. "Curious."

"Quite humorous," Julius nodded, "yet your conviction stands firm. Speak, and be listened."

"You both have your little lines of soldiers or whatever," Wendy looked to both sides, "and you can get back to your war whenever you'd like. But we don't need to be anyone's captive. We just want out of your dumb fight!"

The two generals stared to her, their eyes as cold and analyzing as they had been to Dipper. After the pause took to the air following her words, Julius spoke up.

"You seem to think you are in control, young woman," he said.

"And we're not because..?" she replied.

"Because you are horribly outnumbers, and now flanked on either side," Sun Tzu reminded her happily.

"Wait," Dipper called out now, "except you both knew that at the beginning!" he looked to either general, "you both are exceptionally smart and tactical. If this wasn't a problem, you'd have your soldiers run us over and be done with us. Instead you're negotiating with us..." Dipper gave a wide smile, "which means you need us to agree."

"Disrespectful!" a soldier on the Chinese side shouted, "our General needs nothing from you!"

"Calm, captain," Sun Tzu chuckled, "he is not wrong. They have created an impasse. Weapons cannot penetrate their circle without them turning against us."

"So," Julius called out," come with us. Or I'll have my siege weapons fire upon you."

Dipper whipped to him. "You'd also have done that!" The corners of the generals mouth twitched in a smirk. "This battle is important to the both of you, probably because you want to control the area- as a staging ground. Holding a cease fire interrupts the flow of this battle; you'd rather see it continue while your men are in the middle rather than stopping and starting again fresh."

Julius nodded. "Clever. Children in this region are educated."

"And trained in magic," Sun Tzu stroked his moustache, "a problem should all of them be this proficient."

Dipper looked around. This civility was... his chance. Sure, the war was cool, at a distance, but now that he was here, and drawn blades and spears could cut and stab into one another, the bloodshed was less appealing. He had a possibility to stall it all. He could use his position. He had the next move. Dipper had to be smart, at least just a bit longer.

"He is my proposal, generals," Dipper called out, "you let us move to a neutral zone, some area in which we can remain out of your conflict, and you will call a cease-fire for one day."

The men and soldiers gasped and cried out. "One day?" some shouted. "The galls of this boy!" another roared. "Storm them now!" another would cry.

"A cease fire?" Sun Tzu replied.

"Yes," Wendy nodded.

"And you think you can order our forces to do such because..?" Julius mimed Wendy's previous words.

"Because you know if we can do magic," Dipper said, gritting his teeth to make the most of his bluff, "there's a whole lot more we can do. This was just a... _novice_ spell."

The men in the front of both shield lines murmured. As he had prayed, Dipper's words infected them with superstition and fear. Now he was in control again. He checked with Sun Tzu first, who lifted his head slightly, observing and studying Dipper with a twinkle in his eye. Then Dipper turned away and spied Caesar, who bowed his head and sighed.

"Perhaps so," the man nodded. He rose his head, and slowly withdrew his sword, and cast it to the ground. As he did, he approached the circle of swords and spears. Sun Tzu did the same, gently lowering his long sword to the ground and approaching the circle. The arrows, swords, and spears inside the sphere following their progress as they approached Dipper and Wendy, yet made not stabs or thrusts.

Finally, Julius extended an arm to Julius. "A single day ceasefire can be arranged."

"I agree," Sun Tzu nodded, and took his arm in a solid grip. The two stared into each other's faces, a moment passed of tension that Dipper suddenly worried meant something would happen. Without weapons, the two could attempt a fight- with fist and foot. Yet they broke their arms away, and both stared at Dipper. Sun Tzu said, "now, move to the Neutral zone, per request."

"Right. The shield of swords goes with us," Dipper explained.

"Understandable," Caesar gave a curt nod and turned, walking out, "still, leave the battlefield. We must attend our wounded, General," Caesar said to Sun Tzu.

"As must we. Find the day a faithful break, my grand enemy," Sun Tzu smiled.

"Of course. After all, Caesar turned, and vanished behind the ranks, "the die is cast."

Dipper sighed and looked to the sky. "That was... I can't... so... _cool_."

"We should move now," Wendy said, shaking Dipper's shoulders.

"The Neutral zone," Sun Tzu called out again, "is to your lefts," he pointed as he lifted his sword back into his hands. The two turned, and a large hanger was off in the distance, by what was, to Dipper's continuing excitement, the actual base of Area 51. "Now, be on your way, and uphold your end of the bargain."

"We will," Dipper nodded, and watched as both ranks of soldiers began to file back, never lowering weapons, but retreating from their circle. Sun Tzu, walking back with his men, did finally turn and march away. Dipper lowered his hands to his side, and the thirty or so weapons floating around him fell to the ground, harmlessly. "Phew," he sighed.

"Dipper, are you okay?" Wendy asked, grabbing his shoulder.

"Yeah," he nodded, "just certain spells are kind of tiring. Having weapons float around you like that are... ugh," Dipper heaved a long, drawn out breath. "I'm good," he nodded.

"C'mon," Wendy grabbed his arm and tugged gently, "I'm liking the idea that we can stop war long enough to get the stone and leave. I mean," she looked down to her jacket, "I need a new one! I just got it yesterday and everything."

"The battle isn't going to stop," Dipper said as he moved forward, stilling holding his chest.

"Huh?" Wendy chuckled, "yes it is," she said, "they both agreed to it."

"Both of these men are the greatest military minds of their age. They said a day, but they're going to use this as a chance to set up a new front. That's what they'd do," he said, looking over his shoulder to the retreating armies, "use peace to martial forces in different positions to better prepare for war. I wouldn't be surprised if they do it in only a few minutes."

"What?!" Wendy gasped, "what kind of back-stabbing nonsense is that?"

"Sun Tzu wrote that 'Secret operations are essential in war', and Julius Caesar said that 'Men believe what they want to'," Dipper explained, "they'd both use this opportunity to lull the other into a sense of security, only to spring back into action."

"These people are crazy," she muttered.

"It's war, Wendy," Dipper sighed, "nothing's pretty about it."

Wendy stared at him as they walked together. "That... was super deep."

"Yeah, my bad," Dipper chuckled.

Walking forward to the bunker was less troubling than the two had expected. It was a large hanger with enough space with the open doors to harbor a the largest of conventional planes. On either side, a cluster of guardsman stood, staring at Wendy and Dipper as they approached. One side was Sun Tzu's men, and the other was Julius Caesars.

To Dipper's shock, inside was a simple airplane. It looked dated by a decade or so, with various windows removed and one of it's wings half-way through repairs. In a cluster of fifty or so, a gathering of men and women of various ages, lab coats and security detail, all sat together. Dipper noted that the guards looked worse for wear, without their weapons or armor, and had more vicious slashes across their forms.

"Dipper!"

Rushing up from the gathering, in a blistering fast flash, was Mabel. With a collision that could have broken a bone or two should she had tried, she slammed into Dipper with a hug.

"OW! Mabel!" he groaned.

"You're okay!" she sighed, wiping at her face and eyes, "I knew it!" she turned back to Soos, who was huffing over.

"Never doubted your for a second, hambone," Soos grinned. "Thank goodness you guys showed up. Mabel and I have been trying to come up with some crazy escape plan, but we're drawing blanks because those jerks over there," he put a thumb over his shoulder.

Wendy and Dipper leaned past them, surveying the ranks of what could only be the staff of Area 51 who had been captured.

"That's all of them?" Dipper asked, "it's only like thirty."

"They said there's more of them," Mabel grumbled, "and that's all they really want to talk about. They were chatting more before we showed up," Mabel added, "but ever since Soos and I tried planning with them, they decided to shut up. Rude," she added.

"I wonder why," Wendy sarcastically added.

Soos took her words in earnest. "I think it's because they're still harboring super-secret things, and if they tell us, they could get in trouble." The three looked to him. "Oh. Right. We all knew that, right?"

Dipper stepped forward, approaching the first scientist he saw. An older man, with balding white hair and thick glasses looked up to him, and squinted. Dipper cleared his throat. "The armies have decided a cease fire for a bit. We have time to act if we can plan something before they have a chance to fully re-consider their positions."

"They are?" a few voices from the crowd of staff gasped.

"I thought that's what I saw," Mabel gasped, "how?" She looked to Dipper, who said nothing. "You did it somehow, didn't you?" she said with a wide grin, giving his shoulder a gentle punch.

With his own satisfied grin, Dipper shrugged. "Well, uh, yeah."

"Wow! How'd you do it?" Mabel begged.

"Just talked to both generals," Dipper said, "you know, spreading fear into their ranks with a little show of force," he stuck a thumb at Wendy.

"Wait," Mabel blinked, "that's it? You just chatted with them?" she asked, leaning in and staring at him. Dipper nodded. "You stopped a battle between two forces of ancient armies just by... talking?" she clarified.

"Yup," Dipper nodded, feeling sweat growing on his forehead. Mabel was... not being as believable as he had hoped. Was it so unbelievable that he talked down two of the worlds greatest generals in history from fighting one another? Then again, when he thought that in his head like that, it really did come off as ridiculous.

"Wendy?" Mabel asked, looking to the red-head.

Dipper turned, his eyes at Wendy as well. She stared at the twins, her face like stone. Her years of hiding emotions must have paid off, because had Dipper been in her position, he would be trembling with uncertainty and fear. After a long moment where her eyes looked at Dipper, Wendy shrugged.

"Yeah dude," she sighed, putting her hands in her pockets, "it was super boring and everything. They couldn't get me down, so Dipper told 'em to stand down or else I'll get crazy, and I acted like an animal. That's all."

"Wow," Mabel gasped, and looked to Dipper as he turned to her, "nice one bro-bro."

"Thanks," Dipper quietly said, and glanced back to Wendy. She provided him a short, troubled smile, and pointedly looked away.

"I'm sorry," the head scientist called out to them, "you said you parted the forces by means of negotiation?"

"Yeah," Soos nodded, "something like all those fancy words."

"Just who might you four be, exactly?" the scientist asked, brushing himself up as he walked over.

"I'd say who we are, but you've not introduced yourself yet," Dipper stated.

"United States clearance does not permit me to reveal my identity to civilians," the balding scientists adjusted his glasses, "but you may call me Doctor Finer."

"Doctor Finer?" Mabel repeated, and giggled. "Cool."

"Yes," the man glared at her, "now, am I to assume you three are sight-seers?"

"Yeah!" Soos exclaimed.

"No," Dipper rolled his eyes.

"No we're not!" Soos corrected himself without skipping a beat.

"We're on a mission to save the world," Dipper bluntly said, "and it involves stones."

"Stones," the scientist repeated.

"Specifically, Starkissed Stones," Dipper pointedly said, "you seen any recently?" The doctor could have been a brilliant minded man, but his ability to lie and bluff was not one well-developed. He gurgled for a moment, and then closed his mouth, adjusting the tie around his neck. "I was afraid of that."

"The stone has something to do with all of this, doesn't it?" Mabel asked. "People and warriors from the past fighting now."

"I'm sorry," Doctor Finer cleared his throat, "but I have no reason to assume your intentions are anything you say. As far as I know, you are spies from other agencies, academies, or governments. I cannot trust you."

"Oh, spare us the secrecy," Wendy grumbled, "I bet half the things you keep locked away we've already seen once or twice."

"Pardon?" the scientist demanded.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "for example," he pointed to Wendy, "she's undead."

"Hey!" she barked at him, "don't go telling anyone that!"

"Oh," Dipper flushed horribly, "sorry."

"The undead is a myth," the scientist barked. "People infected with numerous infections and diseases is perceived by the common as 'undead'."

"Then explain the torn jacket," Soos pointed, "but no wounds?"

"By the way," Mabel turned to Wendy," torn leather jacket looks great on you. Your stomach rocks that look."

"Thanks girl," Wendy smirked. She turned and gave Dipper an eye, who had looked to her stomach at Mabel's mention. He also whipped away, still red in the face.

"The soldiers must have missed her constantly. Count her ability to dodge and avoid harm a skill," the Doctor nodded to Wendy, who sighed.

"I was stabbed at least seven times!" she shouted.

"Besides," Soos added, "we know about aliens!"

"Oh, you and every other unwanted visitor on the perimeter. Which ones is it today? Grays? Long-legged? Cat people?"

"First of all," Soos held out his finger in a super-sassy fashion, "all of those could exist. But no, the Alien's name was Yuki, and he lived with my boss in a tourist building in Oregon, helping me fix and upgrade all the appliances. And he had leaves growing out of his head."

The scientist, along with a few others behind him, stared. Dipper couldn't tell if their expectations had been shattered or brought to a new low. Either way, Dipper stepped in.

"He's not lying. His full name was Uki-dohth, and we shortened it to Yuki-"

"Because it was cuter!" Mabel added.

"And he came from a race called the Xabvri," Dipper continued, "a peaceful race of sentient plant-like species that-"

"You said... Xabvri?" Doctor Finer gasped.

Dipper let the smirk grow all on his own. "Why, yes I did. Any reason why?"

The doctor turned to his compatriots. Their faces were just as shocked as his, and a few more made to stand up. Doctor Finer moved to them, and began a quiet conversation.

"Oh, sure!" Mabel barked at them, "just leave us out! Jerks."

"I think they're talking about using us in experiments," Soos gulped.

"No," Dipper shook his head, "they'll be figuring out to trust us or not."

"Oh good," Soos sighed and wiped his forehead, "ever since I was a pig that one time, I've never wanted to be in someone else's body." The three turned to him slowly, their eyes wide with shock. "What? You guys don't remember that?"

"Uhh... you became a pig?" Mabel asked.

Suddenly Wendy laughed. "Hah! See?! _This_ is how it feels when you guys start talking about stuff I missed!"

"Man," Dipper shook his head, "that feeling sucks."

"Welcome to my life," Wendy said.

Doctor Finer turned back, flanked by two scientists. "We have reason to believe, with the development of the warriors behind you and your extensive knowledge of certain fields that we can trust you to act in our interests."

"So you'll work with us?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," the scientist nodded.

"See?" Dipper nudged Mabel, "I'm good at making people think we're necessary."

"Think? Bro, please," Mabel replied with a grin, "we _are_ necessary."

"So, with the interests of acting quickly," Doctor Finer cleared his throat, "I will be forward. We are missing many faculty beneath the surface. Those warriors were sent down to retrieve more of us, but the chances are that they have met resistance. We are all that's left until the forces up here are dealt with."

"How do we do that?" Dipper asked, "are there pilots for the advanced aircraft developed here?"

"Yes, under the surface currently," the Doctor grumbled, "and even if we could get them up, the equipment currently on the surface is not made for warfare."

"What?" Wendy barked. "You mean that Area 51, notorious for shooting on sight anyone who get's too close, is only developing secrets in 'surveillance'!?"

"It's important no one knows our methods," the Doctor mumbled, adjusting his glasses with a mild shove.

Dipper grumbled. "Less cool than I thought."

"What we need to do is break the attention to our guards," the Doctor said, "then we can send these soldiers back to their own times."

"Wait, what?" the four gasped.

"Yes. You see," the Doctor sighed, "we received a sample to study of this 'Starkissed'. We were going to project it for a Spectroscopic study. Once the atomic and molecular structure had been analyzed, we could have given it a full, proper, scientific identity."

"But it went wrong," Soos pointed out.

"Of course it went wrong!" the man barked, "what else could make ancient warriors from the past materialize inside the base and begin attacking everything in sight?!"

"Well, magic?" Soos suggested.

"But if we send these people back," Dipper blinked, his mind growing numb with realization, "then all the things they've seen, the stuff they've done, secrets they've discovered- it'll all be brought back to the past with them! We could have a time-space paradox on our hands if we just send them back!"

The Doctor sighed. "The stone inside allows them within our 'dimension' of time. Once the source of power projecting them is removed, that source being our powered equipment, the residual field that prompts their intersection in our realm will be severed, and they will never have existed here to begin with."

"Oh," Mabel gasped. "Really? Man... that sounds... familiar," she said, turning to the others. Dipper and Soos both looked more to the ground, aware of the concept of removing people from existence.

Wendy growled. "Guys, these people already had lives, in their time. This isn't like Gravity Falls."

"She's right," Dipper nodded, shaking off the weight in his mind. "We need these people gone, or else they could stumble across more dangerous things here."

"Well, I don't know how they'd use a hadron collider," Doctor Finer mentioned, "but there are sensitive materials inside, yes."

Dipper stared at the Doctor. After leaving a mental note that under the earth was a hadron collider, he shook his head and continued with the conversation. "If we can get the soldiers armed, we may be able to fight our way into the base, right?"

"That is a conceptual plan," the doctor nodded, "but we would need a distraction. Something to both pull away the guards and the armies at large so they would not notice us."

"Something..." Dipper said, feeling the spin of his journal in his jacket.

"Bro," Mabel reached out for him, "we've gotten this far without using Grunkle Ford's crazy spells. We can figure this out without going crazy."

"Yeah," Dipper felt his throat tighten, "but it would be easy, wouldn't it?"

"Magic makes people crazy," Mabel told him with a calm smile, "remember?" Dipper pursed his lips as he studied his sister. The heat of lying ate at his chest worse than the tension of the spell he had used earlier. She patted his shoulder. "Don't worry bro. You're stronger now. You got this, even without magic."

Dipper gritted his teeth. Maybe it was better now to tell her, and just get it out of the way. "Mabel," he started, "listen, okay? Earlier I-"

Men cried out in waves of sound. Those held prisoner inside the hanger stood up. Outside on the battlefield, a rush of red and gold shields ran from left to right, charging an unseen foe.

"That was quick!" Wendy laughed. "Wasn't even a few minutes to calm down!"

"I told you they would jump at each other instead of fight honorably," Dipper shouted over the chaos.

"This is good news," Doctor Finer said, "now we merely need a way to quietly removed the guards on either side," he pointed.

The guards in question were now bolstered. Each side of the huge hanger had five men, each with sword, shield, and spear at the ready. Even if the gang could sneak from one side in the shadows and catch five off-guard, the other five would see, and could react in time.

That was until one of the five was knocked out cold. A man jumped out of the shadows, clutching a crowbar in one hand as he, with more speed than could be imagined for one wielding an industrial crowbar, swiped again and again at his foes.

"Look!" Wendy pointed.

"Go!" Mabel decided, and lunged forward. The three closely behind, the gang rushed down the five Roman guards while the Chinese men were all taken by surprise from a strange man with the crowbar. Mabel gave a loud, "HOOIIYAA!" and leapt up, driving her kick across the face of the first victim. Dipper and Wendy came in closely behind, knocking over or knocking out the two closest to Mabel. Mabel was already back on her feet, and somersaulted a kick, knocking another down.

"Sorry dudes," Soos said before he gave the last of five a strong head butt. The man collapsed to the ground motionless, like his comrades.

The doctors arrived just in time for the newcomer with a crowbar to arrive. Finer sighed. "Looseman! You're late again!" he chuckled.

The man with glasses and straight brown hair stared at him, lowering the crowbar. He nodded to the gang.

"Allies for the moment," Finer clarified, "they are aware of the circumstances, and wish to rectify our mistakes. Looseman," Finer asked as the cluster of prisoners caught up with the gang, "tell me you have a way inside the base not guarded?"

The lip-sealed man nodded.

"Get us inside then," Dipper asked, "before the armies have a chance to react to us."

The man identified as 'Looseman' nodded, and turned, his crowbar held proudly above his head, a weapon ready for combat. The gang, and all the prisoners of Area 51, rushed after him.

"Look!" Dipper pointed across the battlefield, "Caesar set up his ballista on the hill for a vantage point!"

"That's very nice Dipper," Mabel calmly stated.

"And Sun Tzu's men are flanking from behind! The Ranks of the Romans have a two-sided front now!" he added.

"Cool story, dude," Soos stated.

"I told you guys that Area 51 would be awesome!" Dipper cried out in one of his highest pitched voices yet.

"Remind us after we get out of here," Wendy assured him.

"Fine, fine, later!" Dipper wined.

Behind another hanger, a secret door had been pried open. Leading to a single ladder that disappeared deeper underground, the man named Looseman leapt inside, climbing down rapidly.

Dipper's teeth clattered with excitement. "We're actually going inside the base!"

"Remember," Doctor Finer glared at the four, "every single thing you see is now confidential. We get rumor you've been spreading word, we could have you arrested or executed."

"Worry about your problems before making threats," Wendy reminded him as the twins descended into the base.

Twenty feet or so of climbing in a narrow, metal-encased shaft lead them into some sort of service room. Inside, another broken open door remained, and Looseman stood next to it. He peered into a hallway that went two separate ways, and the man checked again and again for company he desperately wished not to see.

"Wow," Mabel said, leaping inside, "this all looks... really boring," she noted.

"It's not boring!" Dipper shouted. Looseman spun to him, and put a finger to his lips at Dipper. "Oops. Sorry," Dipper winced. "But seriously," Dipper quieted his voice, "how can anything inside Area 51 be boring?"

"I don't know, how about any expectations I had did not match old-pre sixties metal sheet walls that aren't even chrome?" she asked, poking the wall. "Look at this. So dull. Ugh."

"Hm, hate to agree," Soos said as he landed next to them, "but Mabel is kinda of right."

"But..." Dipper looked around. His eyes, currently coated with excitement and wonder, slowly began to realize just how drab the inside of the base actually looked. Gray walls and old lights saturated the air with a dim glow. Consoles of technology were vacant. Even the door that Looseman stood next to seemed entirely manual, and not automatic.

"This base sucks," Dipper shook his head sadly.

"We make do with it," Doctor Finer sighed as he landed after Wendy. "Nothing quite like work."

"This place looks like a lost b-movie set with no budget, "Dipper growled at the doctor, "I expect that next time I try to sneak inside area 51 you put some financing into making it look like the modern powerhouse it is!"

The Doctor laughed. "Area 51? Modern? Cute. If only we were the number one spot for developmental technology still."

Dipper froze in place, his heart skipping a beat. "What... did... you... say?"

"Now listen," the doctor turned to them all," the device that powers the stone is in a separate section of the underground facility. I and my personal assistants will head that way. You and your team will follow Doctor Looseman here. He can take you to the lab that this 'Starkissed' stone waits. Do not attempt to remove it without the power supply being down, do you understand?"

"Sure," Mable shrugged.

"Good," Finer sighed. "Jordan, I leave them to you," Finer said to the younger researcher, who nodded. "Gentlemen," the doctor spoke to his comrades, "to section 'seven-nine-A'."

Dipper watched the others file past them. "What's in section seven nine A?" he asked Jordan Looseman. The researcher shrugged.

Without another word, he then turned and moved in the hallway that lead away from the other scientists. The gang followed closely.

"So, you don't talk much, do you?" Mabel asked, looking up to the brown-haired scientists. He shook his head. "Strong, quiet type?" she asked. He shrugged. "Uh... mute?" she timidly asked. he gave her a look, yet still said nothing.

"Maybe he just doesn't want to talk ever?" Soos suggested.

"Let him be," Wendy rolled her eyes, "he's already helping us, so we shouldn't try pulling more out of him."

"Okay," Mabel nodded, "mister mysterious man can be silent if he wants. Still weirds me out." Down a hallway, and to an elevator the gang turned.

"HALT!"

The five spun right at the elevator. no less than fifty men in Roman gear were marching at them in formation, spears at the ready.

"We got company," Soos said melodramatically.

"Yeah!" Wendy rolled her eyes, and jammed her finger into the call button for the elevator. "C'mon stupid thing, hurry up!"

Ding.

The elevator opened, and Jordan Looseman rushed inside. Wendy sighed. "Wow. Asking actually worked."

"Inside!" Dipper shouted as he and the others stepped inside, and the doors began to close.

"They're getting away!" a voice called from the approaching line of soldiers. Yet the elevator doors closed, and the five were now in the case of metal and steel. Gentle, yet upbeat elevator music began to play.

"Hm, catchy," Soos bobbed his head to the tune. Dipper glared at him with bags under his eyes. "But, uh, not important to the mission. Nope."

The elevator doors opened again half a minute later. Inside was a torn and somewhat ruined observation lounge filled to the brim with computers and computer terminals. Jordan Looseman stepped inside, and made directly for a shattered window with Dipper. Mabel spun around, her mouth open.

"This is more like it," she nodded, "super-sciency and kind of cool. But only kind of. Needs waaay more stickers."

"Here's a sticker," Soos peeled one off, showing a cartoony space-ship that read 'My other ride is a shuttlecraft'.

Dipper stepped over and looked with Jordan into the room below. The massive room had a platform that lead to the center of the pit, where, floating in place, was a absolutely perfectly polished stone. "There it is," Dipper gasped. "So close." He turned to Jordan. "How do we get down to it?" he asked. Jordan pointed to his right, and Dipper saw against the wall another elevator door.

Behind them, the opened elevator began to close.

"I think it's been called," Soos gulped.

"The Roman elite are using elevators!" Mabel gasped.

"Great, now what?" Wendy called out, "we can't just wait until power goes out if the soldiers get down here!"

Jordan Looseman gulped. As Dipper looked to him, the scientist nodded his head to the other elevator. Dipper stared, and an idea floated in his head. "Guys, can you three hold off the soldiers for a bit?"

"Why?" Mabel asked, coming to him.

"Doctor Looseman and I may have something we can do below," he said.

"But we can't do anything until the power-"

"That's what that stuffy old scientists said!" Dipper cut in, "but this isn't the time to play it safe!" Dipper shouted, "those people are coming, and they'll be into to killing us again."

"Which is why I need you here," Mabel assured him, "I need my brother to back me up."

Dipper stared at his sister. The cold pit in his stomach that hard formed while the battle had ensured softened. She... thought him useful in a fight. Still... Dipper looked to Jordan Looseman, who shrugged towards the door.

"Mabel, I need to do this," Dipper pleaded with her, "besides, knowing me, I'll just mess up, and you'll need to come save me."

"Don't say that," Mabel said.

"It's okay," Dipper chuckled, "I'm going to help with the doctor now."

She clenched her jaw, shaking her head. "Fine... just don't let my brother be hurt," she said to Doctor Looseman, "or else I'll take that crowbar and-"

"They're coming!" Wendy shouted, as the elevator began to beep again.

"Shootles! Coming!" Mabel called over her shoulder. With a sad, resigned sigh, she patted her brother. "Go figure stuff out and stuff."

"Sure will," he nodded, and with Jordan Looseman next to him, he turned to the second elevator and stepped inside. As the doors for theirs closed, the others opened, and Dipper saw glimpses of the fight that began: six shielded soldiers versus his two friends and sister. "They'll be fine," he said to himself.

Jordan's hand drifted onto Dipper's shoulder, where it gave a quick squeeze of reassurance.

"Thanks," Dipper quietly said.

Looseman nodded curtly.

The doors before them opened again. Now they stood in a brightly humming room. Energy filled the space, and all of Dipper's hair stood on end. Suddenly his mind was blank. He remembered this feeling from before- uncontrolled, unrestrained, magical power. The feeling of outracing a tearing reality that was merely feet behind on Mabel's motorcycle never left him. This was that exact feeling. He turned and stepped out with Doctor Looseman, and stared at the orb.

Now closer, he saw the distortions of light that constantly swayed and bubbled around the rock.

"So this is what happens when a Starkissed goes crazy in a different way," Dipper noted, and pulled out the journal. Flipping to a blank page, he began to scribble more notes. Jordan Looseman pried over his shoulder as Dipper filled in more notes on a page already covered with questions, theories, and ideas about Starkissed stones. Dipper noticed him, and flinched away. "Hey! You guys never show and tell, why should I?" he remanded.

Looseman shrugged.

Dipper held the journal out, staring at the orb. "Now what?" Dipper asked Jordan. The scientists put a finger on his armor-covered wrist. "What, we wait?" Dipper asked. The man nodded. "There's got to be more we can do," Dipper grumbled.

"DIPPER!"

The voice rang from overhead. Racing out with the doctor, Dipper slid into place at the edge of the outer-platform, nearing the bubble of magic. Upstairs, Mabel's face could barely be seen, poking through the shattered glass to speak to them.

"Get up here!" she begged, "we have even more coming down!"

"Uh," Dipper looked back and forth, weighing his options, "just hold them off!"

"We're _trying_!" she shouted, and then ran back inside.

"Damn it," Dipper grumbled, and looked back to the stone. He glanced back to Jordan, who's face was sweating as he glared at the stone. "Can you take it now?" he asked the scientist.

The man looked down to Dipper, a resolute stare more than enough to explain his next actions. He then marched forward, adjusting his glasses as he stepped up into the bubble of magic.

As a gunshot, there was a loud bang. Jordan Looseman was rocketed back away from the bubble, nearly missing Dipper. Jordan Looseman slammed into the walls next to their elevator, and slumped to the ground, clenching his teeth as he slowly pushed himself back up.

"No," Dipper groaned, and looked up to the window. He could see Mabel fending of a spear-user, dodging the attacks in attempts to grasp the weapon and pull it away.

Still... even more would be coming soon.

He had no choice. He wouldn't loose friends and his sister to wait for a stuff scientist.

He pulled out the journal and stepped back into the shadowed area, out of sight. Page after page provided nothing helpful. Levitation? Not needed. Extra sight? Not wanted.

There. He found it. In the page detailing spore-plants that unleash acid to defend themselves, he found the spell he wanted- a ward of protection.

Reading from the journal, Dipper closed his eyes to concentrate. He could do this. Cast a second spell. He opened his mouth and chanted.

"_Aura Alumni, Tueor Tenerior, Scutum Contemtim_!"

Dipper closed his eyes after the spell, hoping he would feel differently. Yet no wash of feeling came over his skin or hair. He opened his eyelids, and checked himself, patting his arms. Kicking gently the back of his foot. He even pinched his cheek.

"Ow," he grumbled. Had it not worked?

"DIPPER!"

Damn the results. He had to try.

He rushed forward while pocketing the journal. The bubble was a few feet from him. A foot. Then-

It struck him like wave of water. He was now inside the vortex of sounds and light, pushing forward what felt like the thickest, coldest water he had ever stepped through. But he could keep going. Step by drudging step he made it. It was in arms reach now, and as he panted in the aura of magic, he struggled to raise his hand to the ball. The weight of Gravity here felt so immense...

His sister depended on him.

He reached out and with a cry of frustration, wrenched out the stone from it's placement. In his fingers, the ball went from burning hot to freezing cold.

Ward spell or not, Dipper was hurled back a dozen feet and slid next to Jordan Looseman, who had only just begun to stand up. The field of magical energy swirling around the center platform then dissipated like vapor.

Calls of fright, and then shrill screeches of success from above told Dipper... it had worked.

The warriors were removed from time.

He stood up next to Jordan Looseman, who stared at Dipper, wide eyed.

"We did it?" Dipper suggested.

Jordan smiled, and nodded firmly.

The elevator ride back into the over-chamber was quick enough, and the reception a warm one. Mabel again tackled Dipper in a huge hug, swinging off his neck like a sing-set.

"You guys did it!" she shouted, and then noticed the stone in his hands, "I can't believe it, but you actually got it!"

"Dipper said he would, didn't he?" Wendy said, smiling at Dipper. Even more of her jacket had been shredded, along with her nice green flannel shirt. Dipper quickly made note of her exposed skin and partial bra, and then looked away.

"How'd you do it?" Mabel asked.

Dipper opened his mouth. Words were there, inside his mind. 'I used magic. See? It saved the day', was what he desperately wanted to say. It would prove to her that he could use it responsibly. Why was he unable to? She looked so thrilled with him...

He couldn't disappoint her. Not now.

Instead he looked up to Jordan Looseman. "He got it," Dipper said, "with his suit, he was able to walk through the defense field and grab it. I just had to push him through the field."

"See?" Mabel grabbed him and rubbed his hair, "you are _strong_ enough to help!"

Dipper nodded, desperately trying to keep his smile up. Jordan nudged him, shaking his head. "He, uh," Dipper added as the Scientists glared at him, "okay, did most of the work." Looseman rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"It's okay Dipper," Mabel assured him, "one day you'll be as strong as me. At least as strong as I am now, I mean," she laughed.

"So," Wendy's voice called out, "not that we shouldn't be happy we survived, but maybe we should get out before the guards of Area 51 decide that we should be locked up?"

"Oh! A wonderful self-preservationist idea," Soos commended her.

"Despite being undead, I have a few," Wendy stated.

"Agreed," Dipper nodded. He moved away from the scientists, who watched them go, his own bags under his eyes.

"Thanks for your help, Mister Looseman!" Mabel waved at him as they stepped into the elevator.

Half an hour later, running over a field of dirt and sand that had been torn apart by a battle of long-vanished warriors from the past, the four made it back over the hills, toting yet another rock in Dipper's hands. There, waiting in the shade of the car, was Waddles, who squealed and ran up to them.

"Waddles!" Mabel shrieked, and scooped up the pig, carrying him around. "Are you okay, little buddy?" she asked as he licked her face.

"Thank goodness we decided to leave him behind," Soos sighed, "I'm pretty sure that was one adventure a pig could not go through."

"To say the least," Dipper sighed, but patted the pig. "Good boy."

"So, one more is ours," Wendy sighed, "that's three now."

"I wonder how many Zander will need," Mabel asked, looking to Dipper as he stared at the stone. "He never really said, did he?"

"Not to us, at least," Dipper sighed," typical." Mabel glared at him. "But forgivable," he assured her.

"So, dorkus maximums," Mabel grinned as she lowered Waddles, "how was going to your favorite place on earth?"

Dipper stalled, his eyes blank. Yet he finally found words to the question he hadn't even considered. "Well," he started slowly, "for one, it was exciting. But for all the rumors and theories behind it, for all the years of secrets, it really didn't hold up to what I thought it would be, would it?" He asked to the others.

Their faces blank, and their eyes wide as they looked over the hills.

"Exactly," Dipper nodded, "like that. Like, fighting Roman and Chinese soldiers was dangerous and cool, but what about the actual mysteries of Area 51? This entire trip, I never saw one thing that had anything to do with the original theories!"

Mabel gulped. "Dipper..."

Dipper sighed. "I know. Maybe I was too optimistic. After all, things never seem to turn out..." he paused, staring at the three and the pig, distinctly looking past him. "What?" he turned, and his mouth fell open.

A chrome flying saucer, true to the sights of hundreds of poorly taken photos, spun rapidly in a circle right above where the base aught to have been. From a rapidly closing window, the four could see the scientists from earlier inside, preparing the ship's various complicated instructions.

"Huh, a flying saucer," Soos commented.

As he did, the ship darted into the sky, disappearing in a split second.

"That explains why they knew about Yuki's race," Wendy said aloud, "they'd probably taken technology and information from that ship and recorded it."

"Wow," Mabel sighed, "to think, somewhere inside that base was an actual, alien spacecraft that had been there the entire time."

Dipper's body shook.

"You okay, bro-bro?"

Dipper's tone leapt up a pitch. "Oh, you know," he said through gritted teeth, "just entered and escaped one of the greatest secrets of America, hoping to see some Alien technology up close, and... THEN IT JUST GOES AND FLIES AWAY!" he shouted, swinging his arms in circles around him, swinging at nothing. "URRAAAGH!"

"Uh, Mabel?" Wendy asked nervously as Dipper spun around, flailing as he yelled and shouted into the hills. "He going to be okay?"

"Seems a little upset," Soos commented.

"Don't worry guys," Mabel sighed, "he's just upset. See, when nerds get mad, they go through a magical transformation into a sad display of, "Mabel blew a raspberry, "that is commonly known as 'Nerd-rage'."

* * *

So, first things first, I needed to say this: I am aware that there were ancient Romans in the story now. And yet, they spoke fluent english while Dipper used Latin to summon spells and magic.

My explanation?

Blah. It's gravity falls, sorry it's silly. Nah nah nah.

Anyhoo, that's episode four of Season three. A few of you got the idea of Groom lake correctly, and I was proud of that, but I'm proud I can keep you on your toes once in a while. Warriors? At Area 51? Wassup with dat?

And Dipper... careful buddy. You aught know what can happen... ;)

Well, that's this chapter for you guys. Sorry again for not getting back to everyone this week- I can't say this is really a 'complaint', but enough reviews piled up that I got sort of mixed up a few times, and couldn't remember who I had sent replies to and who I hadn't. Got a tad bit disorganized. :( Sorry dudes/dudettes. This time I'll do better! HOO!

*EZB flexes, intent on doing right, and spontaneously catches fire and explodes*

* * *

Deep within the base of Area 51, Jordan Looseman sat against one of the still functional terminals.

The rest of the staff had long since departed. True to the plan, they would be going onto the secret space-craft that powered the entire base, and using it as a means to escape. After letting civilians into the base, all with the project could have been put to death for their treason, and so they chose to flee.

Except poor Jordan Looseman. He was lying on the cold ground, his hair a mess and part of his lenses cracked. Taking it off, he sighed as he examine it. It wasn't that expensive of a pair to replace, but he imagined that now he was probably out of a job, he'd have to do with glue and duct tape.

Then something caught his ears. A beeping.

He stood up, confused. The power of the base should be all but gone.

There it was. The source of the beeping. It startled him, and then disturbed him.

A screen was still on.

Words were typing themselves across the screen.

He moved close and read the words, reflected in the glasses of his cracked rims. '_The weight of the past shall break the back of the now_'.

Then it deleted. The moment he had noticed what it had said, it was gone. The computer was off. No power had been on it.

Did... had he imagined it being there? No, that was impossible, he remembered it so vividly. Yet all his senses now told him that computer never had power recently.

Only as a chill went down his spine could he hear the distant and muffled laughter of a cool voice echoing in the darkness.

* * *

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**-AND-**

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**-AND-**

**4-5-1-4-12-9-5-19-20 23-1-18-18-9-15-18, 1-14-25-15-14-5?**

**-AND-**

**(Vigenere)**

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	73. The Shadow of the Chupacabra: Part 1

With the loud clatter of hammers against nails and sheets of wood, it would be easy to confuse the isolated base as a perfectly friendly facility to any normal government branch or corporate institute. Yet to those who would have made the mistake to trek deep into the Idaho and Montana border would have met a fate debatably worse than... well, not death, at least.

But brainwashing and cultish activities were not something everyone could swallow.

Deep in a valley between the mountains of the high Rocky's that spanned far into the north, a base of some sort was under construction. Spanning into the high reaches of the cliff faces, a huge rail-road was being layered down at an alarming rate. People and advanced construction devices worked side by side, hastening the progress of the entire project.

It still wasn't fast enough for the man in the completed building in the center, a watchtower built to overlook the small airport that had been rigged up in the blistering span of two days.

"They need th-that railroad t-t-to get to northern C-Canada," Graupner Kinley spat as he glared through the window, watching the construction high above without a blink.

"They're working on it," Alvis calmly assured him, "after all, they have you to please. Even if it means dying and then being reconstituted to serve you in life afterwards, they'll do it."

In the highest room of the tower, the room was inhabited by only two. Graupner Kinley, the Warlock himself, and Alvis Leuthar, his second in command and studying apprentice. Graupner paced the large window walls that overlooked the growing base of operations that would soon become his station for power, while Alvis sat on a chair by a lone desk, pouring over more books.

"Enthralled or not-t," Graupner mumbled, "th-they're slow."

"They built this tower in merely one day," Alvis looked up with a smile, "to build over five thousand miles of railroad will take at least a week or two."

Graupner gritted his teeth. "T-Too slow."

Alvis snickered, leaning back in his chair. "The best things take time." Alvis eyed the younger man by the window. "You're certain going to the north is what you want?" he asked.

"Yes," Graupner grumbled.

"Why, might I ask?" Alvis quietly inquired.

"P-People can live in d-deserts. People have made whole freakin' c-civilizations in d-deserts. No large g-group has ever lived in the freezing t-tundra," Graupner smirked. "Only the d-d-dead p-prosper in the cold. Like me," he grinned.

Alvis found the reflection of that linger smile on his 'master too errie'. Whether or not the truth was that Graupner was undead or not, the man was creepy. But he knew what he could say to distract the young Warlock. Alvis had news from his latest sojourn in the Ritual. "This isn't then a bad time to inform you of our proposition again being ignored?" he asked tentatively.

Graupner snarled and spun in his place. "The D-D-Demon refused!? Again!?" Alvis sighed, a practiced performance to show off his 'impatience', and let Graupner feel like he was out of good ideas. The Warlock swore loudly, grabbing his own chair, and throwing it at the doors of the elevator that lead down to lower floors. The echoing bang could have been heard at the ground floor. "This c-c-creature is as imp-p-impertinent as it is annoying!"

"It was a risk," Alvis sniffed his nose, "but we can still profit off a union with a Demon like mister Bill Cipher. He and I made quite the discussion in the ritual."

"D-D-Don't call him th-that," Graupner pointed to Alvis, who bowed his head, "he doesn't g-get your ap-p-proval until I say so."

"Of course," Alvis smiled.

Graupner turned back to the window, his natural eye and scarred eye-socket with the glowing, floating stone reflected back at him. "Unlimited p-power, infinite knowledge, and he t-talks about socks made of sinew," Graupner grumbled, "and d-drinking from glasses made of childrens sk-skulls."

"Charmer, really," Alvis rolled his eyes. When Graupner glared at him, he added, "it was a joke, I assure you."

"R-Right," Graupner huffed, and stared at the mountain. Then he held his eye, and gasped. Alvis stood up hastily. He would have bookmarked the page, but this was too important. He had to act like he cared about this man, or else the trust he had barely gained would be lost.

"Are you well?" he asked with his sickeningly worried voice.

Graupner lifted his face, looking more pale than he had before. "Just... t-tired," he admitted, and lifted himself to his straightest, and glanced behind to Alvis. The trained mind of a schmoozer like Alvis Leuthar knew it was best to expose someone to this kind of lie just a tad longer than expected. He waited just a moment as Graupner stared at him, and then he sat back down.

"You aught to rest," Alvis suggested, clearing his throat.

"I c-can't sleep," Graupner mumbled. "I gave up th-that t-t-to make sure I wouldn't d-die."

"A bold choice," Alvis nodded.

Graupner stomped over from the windows, peering down at this second and command. "D-Do you really th-think working with these d-d-demons is a good idea?" Alvis slowly nodded. "Why?" Graupner hastily added.

Alvis fought away a worried crease in his brow. He hadn't expected Graupner to look into such things yet, and he had expected such a question. Suddenly? No. Yet, as with his many years of lying, Alvis was ready.

"Books have been lost. Ideas forgotten. Notes crossed out that could have been answers. Demons are ancient, old, and wizened," Alvis explained. "With their answers to our questions, the knowledge of magic we have could... expand."

"Yes," Graupner snarled, "but Cipher refuses to t-take any other offers!"

"He truly wants a body," Alvis nodded, "willing to hold off on a deal until we can get him what he wants."

"I won't g-g-give him anything like th-that," Graupner growled, "not while he mocks me in your little sessions."

"He jests, I assure you," Alvis shrugged.

"I don't c-c-care," Graupner warned.

"Then," Alvis licked his lips, his opportunity arisen, "maybe instead of the one demon, we could..." he slowed his words, teetering off in faux thought. If Graupner asked for more, he had already won. Graupner would be interested in whatever he said next, regardless what it was.

Graupner stared at his apprentice, his one eye focusing. "We c-c-could what?" he insisted.

Alvis smiled. "We could try... another?"

* * *

"San Antonio!" A loud, proud, lady voice echoed into the parking lot next to a motel, "a city of canals to swim in, murals to make funny faces at, and a old fort that did something like a hundred years ago or whatever!"

"That would be the Alamo," Dipper Pines answered for his sister as they climbed out of the car together. "And it was more than-"

"Who cares!" Mabel cried out, "this is Texas! Everything is big here! BIG!" she shouted. Then she leaned across the hood of the car, and whispered to Dipper dangerously, "Bigger, Dipper," she winked.

"Ew, Mabel," he scolded her, and shoved her face away.

"The steaks," she continued, stepping past Soos and Waddles as they climbed out of their car, "the people," she said as she passed by Wendy as she scooted off Mabel's motorcycle, "and best of all," she turned around, her knuckles on her hips, "the personality! I'm in the state made for me!"

"That predates you a little," Soos mentioned, "but I'm certain welcomes you as a humble addition to it's family."

"Humble! Hah!" Mabel barked, "the only thing humble here is that flag," she turned and pointed to an American flag suspended on a small visitor shop. "C'mon flag! You're in texas! Be louder! _Prouder_! MORE FIREWORKS!"

"Mabel," Dipper groaned, "I know we were in a car for nearly twenty hours, but please try to stay sane. You'll draw attention from evil people... or something. Like the Chupacabra, or something."

"I was cooped up in a sitting position for eighteen of those hours," she whined," I need a chance to be eccentric or I'll die, Dipper. Besides, nothing is so terrible to only drink blood from goats. Oh," Mabel moaned and looked at Waddles, "but little goats, buddy. Just imagine."

"On that note," Wendy said, clearing her hair of knots with a brief toss, "I'm going to find a new jacket in that shop, hopefully. You guys get a room so you can rest?"

"Sure," Dipper shrugged.

"Dudes, I could use some rest," Soos said before yawning. Waddles stepped up next to him, prodding his nose against Soos's leg with a snort. "Sorry buddy, I was keeping mostly two eyes on the road. Can't play I spy: pig edition right now."

"Soos, you are the perfect caretaker for my pig," Mabel assured him.

"Okay. Go get a room. I'll be in the shop. Find me when you're done napping okay?"

"Sure thing," Dipper smiled and nodded to her, and Wendy spun towards the shop, an eager bounce in her step. "Well Soos, let's keep our end of the bargain and find a place so we can rest our mortal minds."

"Guys," Mabel laughed, "we _only_ drove for twenty hours straight. That's not that bad."

"You didn't drive any of it," Dipper grumbled.

"Because I was too busy playing 'I spy: Shrub edition' with you," she said, "and let me tell you Soos- I naaaailed it," she bragged happily.

"Nice one, hambone," Soos said, trying to raise his arm for a high-five. Yet his arm trembled and shook. "Uh... nuugh... okay, I'm tired too."

"Pfft, fine," Mabel rolled her eyes, "Waddles and I will get you keys and then you can go upstairs and nap or whatever boring thing you nerds want to do. Okay?" she asked.

"Yes please," Dipper nodded.

"Can I also get a lemonade, waiter?" Soos asked.

Mabel giggled and skipped away, bounding in her step towards a front desk room. Passing into a air-conditioned room in the late afternoon, Mabel approached the desk. It was a dusty glass-walled room, and the man at the desk didn't notice her.

"Hi!" she announced herself cheerfully as she came up to the desk. "I want the best possible room of this motel! With candy, please!"

The man, somewhere in his middle years, glanced to her, dead in his eyes. "That'll be the same as all the other rooms," he informed her.

"Oh. But the one we're getting has candy inside, right?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

"...no," he said, and handed her a key, "that'll be fifty a night."

"Oh c'mon," she edged closer, leaning on the desk, "Smile! It's a sunny day!"

"It's always sunny in Texas, or its tornados," he grumbled.

"Oh. Uh... Smile! There's a pig in the room!" she said, and lifted Waddles, who oinked as he was revealed.

"There's a goat petting zoo across the highway. Don't care."

Mabel squinted at him. "Smile because-"

"Just take the keys and get out already," he demanded.

"Fine," Mabel huffed, snatching the keys from his hand with a whip of her hand. "I heard everything bigger in Texas. I guess you fit in. 'Cus they also need bigger jerks like you!" she blew a raspberry at him and spun about, storming out with Waddles.

The man on the counter had tears in his eyes, and quietly moaned to the ceiling. "I'm just having the _worst_ day!" he cried as Mabel and Waddles left the front desk and the grumpy attendant. Mabel's path lead her quickly to the weary-eyed brother and friend. Before them, she held out the key.

"Room two-fourteen," Mabel stated, "and we should leave a mean review about the staff before we go."

"Jerks?" Dipper asked. Mabel nodded firmly and Dipper yawned. "Later, sure. I'm getting some rest. Soos?" he asked.

"Yeah dawg, I'm in," Soos agreed.

"Well, Waddles and I will be Wendy in the shop of Texas Shopping! Shopping for Texas stuff!" She said. Dipper stalled and turned back to her. In her hands he dropped the keys to the car. "Are you gifting me your car as well? Dipper, I don't think Waddles has a street-legal driving license yet."

"It's so you can go get our stuff later?" Dipper smirked, and tossed to her his vest, "and drop that in the car as well.

She pouted. "Whatever, lazy bums." Mabel watched them go and finally turned and waltzed away. To the car she hopped, trailed by the complacent pink pig. At the curb she stalled, unlocked the car, and tossed Dipper's things inside.

Only then did she hear a small buzzing. A vibration.

"Oh!" she gasped, and scrambled for the vest. "Guys!" she called out, turning to look where Dipper and Soos had been. They were already gone, probably to the second floor and inside. "Dang it," she grumbled, and wrenched out the phone. The number was unmarked, but she knew exactly who it was. "Oh Waddles," she turned to the pig as the phone rang, "should I? I mean," she looked to the phone in her hand, "this is Dipper's, and we're supposed to sort of be on this as a team."

Waddles tilted his head and stared at her, his black dots for eyes subduing her worry.

"But this is the greatest looking man of all time with voice like soft feathers we're talking about... and there's no one here to interrupt my chat with him," she said, glancing around. Waddles oinked. Mabel giggled. "Okay, maybe you could if you wanted," she said. She held it before her, and smiled. To her pig, she said, "but seriously, be cool, okay Waddles? This is Mabel's time to shine!"

The Pig squeezed underneath Dipper's car, finding shade on the parking lot pavement. As he did, Mabel lifted the phone and answered it. Before she could even speak a word, Zander's voice echoed out.

"Dipper, you had me worried. You don't usually keep me waiting like that," the voice of Zander Maximillion called through. All Mabel could do is sigh, and stare at the device. "Ahem. Dipper?" the voice asked.

"Oh!" Mabel squeaked and held the phone closer, "Sorry! Just silly 'ol Mabel here! Howdy!" she replied.

"Mabel?" Zander asked, "what's going on? Is Dipper okay? After his furious call in Arizona I figured the drive would have been okay."

"He's grouchy now, but just tired. Everyone's fine. Dipper's busy napping or something. So me and Waddles are on watch and souvenir duty!" Mabel explained.

The pause on the phone was long. Mabel blinked, waiting for a reply. Maybe, for once, she had over-stepped her boundaries for whimsy. Zander was trying to save the world from a tidal-wave of magic, and here she was talking about silly stuff. She felt a bubbling, sickening feeling in her stomach.

The she heard it. Laughter. Loud, happy laughter.

"Sorry!" Zander called through the phone, "I had to run into a closet so I wouldn't distract the rest of the guys!" he managed to explain before laughing more.

"Whaaat?" Mabel smiled, a wide, beaming grin that split her face ear to ear. "I'm not funny."

"The idea that the group of four kids going around the country to save the world, and they find time to chill and get souvenirs!" he cackled. "That's just awesome."

"Are... you making fun of us?" she asked cautiously.

"Not at all," he said as she could sense the calming in his voice. "You just make me laugh, Mabel."

Red hot pokers could have been stabbing at her cheeks as they went rose red. "Well, I, uh, yeaaah," she bumbled out. "Gotta keep everyone sane, right?"

"I suppose so," Zander agreed. He took a deep breath, and his voice was level again. "Mabel, listen up, okay?"

"Listening super up," Mabel told him, leaning forward to the phone.

"The next Starkissed is in your area. The problem is, unlike the last two, it's mobile."

"Like a phone?" she asked.

"Even _more_ than a phone," Zander said.

"Monstrous!" Mabel gasped.

"I've seen people with these before. Taking cars or planes, sure they're fast and what not, but they follow flight paths or streets, or heck, even trains. Whatever has this one isn't following anything traceable or predictable. Over hills and across creeks-"

"And far away?" Mabel asked.

"Like super-far away," Zander continued, "this thing is agile. I have no idea what's around. Wildlife in Texas can be pretty bad, and I'd worry about what would happen to a wild boar if it swallowed a Starkissed by accident."

"Maybe they'd turn into a clone of Waddles?" Mabel suggested.

"Possibly," Zander said. "Mabel, just be careful, okay? With something stationary, it's usually a job of convincing someone to part with it. Now you may need to track whatever it is down and grab it for yourself."

"The hunt ison," Mabel growled.

Zander laughed again. "And I imagine you'll make a great huntress." Mabel but her lip, resisting the urge to squeal. Several moments she realize the pause on the phone had lingered. She waited only a moment more, and found his voice was uncertain. "Everything is... okay with everybody, right?" Zander asked.

"Why?" Mabel asked.

"I don't... I think I'm just overly-worrying. I don't have any real reason to think you guys are in trouble... just intuition," Zander sighed on the other side, "but I'll let you go. I'm sure you have better things to do."

"Other than you? No way!" Mabel laughed. She then gasped. The wording to her response had been... waaay too much. "I-I mean, '_other than listening to you_'! Yeah! Nothing weird!"

"Okay Mabel," Zander said with a few more chuckles, "good luck. You know the drill. Grab stone. Call when done. Go to the next area. Save the world."

"Can do!" Mabel saluted. "Seeya!"

The phone clicked off as the connection was lost. She sighed, and let the phone fall onto Dipper's vest inside the car, and she fell to her rear on the parking lot.

"I should have asked if he was with my parents," Mabel told Waddles, who oinked. "Or maybe who he was with? I mean, who does he care if he's laughing around," Mabel asked Waddles, who blinked. "I dunno. I just wish I could take his voice and turn it into pillows. Soft, feathery pillows. Then I could fall into them forever and never get up again."

She sighed, holding her shoulders tightly. His voice warmed her, bringing her a comfort that she had not felt in a very long time. Or at least, a comfort she was sure she hadn't felt in a long while. Or... ever? It was hard to tell sometimes. Mabel grunted and pushed herself straight, taking the keys and closing the door.

"So, to Wendy, or the Dipper and Soos first? Got to tell everybody what Zander said first," Mabel asked the pig. No reply came from the pig, as expected. Mabel took it as an opportunity to do as she pleased. "To Wendy, my companion!" she said to Waddles. The Pig oinked, and climbed out from under the car.

A smaller square slab of a building was herald to a swathe of Texas ordained materials on the inside. "C'mon buddy," she encouraged the pig, holding the door open as she and Waddles stepped inside.

"Welcome to Buddy's Bastion! One-stop need for all things southern and Texan!" a pudgy man by the counter cheered to her. Mabel shuddered at man, only too aware of the name 'Bud' in her past, and the kinds of people who seemed to gravitate towards it. He, however, noticed her shudder. "What?" he asked, leaning forward, "don't like Texas? The South!?"

"I'm here to shop with my friend," Mabel said to him, leaving his counter in a hurry for the red-topped teenager in the back of the shop. "Wendy!" Mabel waved.

"Hey man," Wendy nodded to her, currently pushing aside a large wrack of similarly designed leather jackets, "help me pick something out, why don't you?"

"Sure!" Mabel nodded, reaching in and quickly assessing various jackets at will. "What size are you?"

"Two," Wendy sighed.

Mabel gasped. "Wait, whaaat?" Wendy shrugged.

"I'd say I was trying to eat more to fill out, like my dad wanted," she chuckled, "but you know me. Can't eat. At least I'm not shrinking either."

"Wait a second," Mabel stepped up to the red head, staring her intently in the face. Wendy stared back, a curious smirk about her as Mabel slowly leveled a hand on her forehead, and slowly moved it forward. To her shock, it tapped the bridge of Wendy's nose. "Man. I'm almost as tall as you," Mabel said in awe. The green orbs of Wendy's eyes intensified. "But that's crazy! That probably means Dipper is as tall as you now! Or almost. I dunno."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Help me pick something out, dork."

"Yes ma'am!" Mabel said, turning back to the rack. "Just us girls, shopping like normal people. Wow!" she lifted a jacket up, "price tags! So normal!"

"Mabel, since when did you start getting into 'normal' stuff?" Wendy asked, checking her with cautious eyes.

"Eh, since we didn't have a choice to escape from the crazy I think," Mabel gave her answer some thought, "I think right after my mom and dad got involved, actually. Yeah. Cus now I can't even drive home and pretend like it was all a wicked crazy dream. That's about _right_," Mabel summarized with a bite at the end, some of the buried fear and pain in her mind surfacing like a dreaded beast.

"Tell me about it," Wendy mumbled, pass jacket after jacket, her eyes unfocused.

"Nah," Mabel shook her head, "that's boring and sad. We're moving away from that! Fixing the world from not drowning in crazy magic!" Mabel smiled to Wendy.

"Guess so," Wendy said, "I mean, it's still hard. Like, thinking that there's no more... town still," she said, looking Mabel straight in the eyes. "Nothing. Not even wreckage."

Mabel turned away, her eyes focused back onto the line of clothes before her. That image of a town being erased, torn from the drawing paper of reality like a giant eraser being dragged across... it ate at her. She felt that moment, nearly a week ago: the lifting of gravity as the tear of realty was feet behind her and Dipper.

"Still," Wendy smirked and shook her head, "we have each other, man."

"Yeah! We sure do!" Mabel gave a little hop, "and what else is going to keep us winning the day each time!? Each other!" she declared.

"Yeah man, preach it!" Wendy grinned.

"When things get rough, the four of us get tighter!" Mabel sweared, shooting a hand above her head.

"Hallelujah!" Wendy laughed.

"If things get tough, we just get tighter!" Mabel proclaimed.

"Sing it, sister!"

"No secrets or lies between us all!" Mabel laughed.

"Hah," Wendy laughed too, and turned back to the clothes rack, her face buried between two jackets.

"Just imagine. Dipper is finally confident enough to use his skills alongside his super-awesome sister, and I can to begin to finally understand the crazy ideas he has!" Mabel added, more to her own acknowledgement then anything else. "Man, thank goodness we're all so trusting in one another." Wendy had yet to pop out yet, and slowly withdrew her face from the rack, perfectly neutral. "Which reminds me," Mabel said, "I need to go chat with Dipper about Zander. He called.

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, "you sure do." Wendy lifted a jacket up, her eyes unfocused. "Ugh," she groaned, "can these jackets _not_ have a confederate flag stitched onto them?"

"What? You don't like the southern flag?" Mabel asked.

"No," Wendy rolled her eyes, "of course not. The only thing that gross old thing stands for is how stubborn the south is. They lost to the north, to us!" Wendy said, "and they're still waving that flag around with pride."

"HEY!"

From the front of the shop, the man waved his hand through the air. "You won't remove one, single, flag from those jackets, ya hear?!"

"What?!" Wendy snapped, "why not? If I buy it, I can do whatever the heck I want with it!"

"Those flags are a symbol of unity against a greater foe! The strength to rebel and stand up for what you believe in!" the man at the front of the shop barked.

"Yeah! Even if what you believed was wrong," Mabel shrugged, "like slavery."

"Look man," Wendy groaned, "I don't care about your weird obsession with the flag, but I'm going to buy it and do what I want to it."

"Fine. The price for your jackets is doubled," the man crossed his arms, standing straight.

"Fine by us," Mabel nodded.

The shop-owned blinked. "Oh- uh- I meant to say triple the price!"

"Still not stopping me," Wendy glared.

"...quadruple?" the man squeaked.

"If I pay you five times the price on this jacket here," Wendy lifted the tag, "you'll shut up and leave me alone?"

"I certainly will," the shopkeeper nodded his head sleepily, his eyes went misty at the phrase 'five times'.

Not two minutes later, Wendy strolled out with a new leather jacket, a square patch on the arm a shade lighter than the rest of the brown leather. A flag of the confederacy was distinctly missing. Mabel left with two bags filled to the brim with as many silly and 'wonderful' merchandise should could find in her quick survey.

"Gotta say," Wendy grinned, "having that card of Zander's is handy."

"Yup!" Mabel grinned, "Zander is quite the-" the grip on her bags was dropped. She had forgotten. "Shoot!" she barked and snapped her fingers.

"Mabel?" Wendy asked, adjusting her jacket.

"I forgot to tell Dipper!" She exclaimed, starting to pick up her new bags.

"Tell him what?" Wendy worriedly asked.

"That-"

A loud bleat from the distance caught her ear. Waddles, next to her spun about, his eyes widening as far as their beady little selves could. Mabel spun about as well, facing across the now quiet highway.

"I know that sound," Mabel blinked. "Waddles knows that sound..."

"Sounds like goats, Mabel," Wendy shrugged. "What were you saying?" Wendy tried asking.

"Not just any goats, Wendy," Mabel declared.

The loud bleat came again, and Mabel squealed with Waddles. "PYGMY GOATS!" she shouted, and without a second glance to the bags at her feet, she bolted across the highway without a second thought, Waddles hot on her trail.

"Mabel! Wait!" Wendy called, running after the brunette.

The vacant highway proved no threat to the j-walking girl and her pig as they darted across the asphalt. A cluster of low-hanging trees provided shade for the racing three, as Wendy trailed behind. Underneath the shade from the warm sun rays, Mabel came to a stop just at the edge of a fence only up to her shoulders. She clutched at the edge, a simple wire mesh, while Waddles poked his nose against the side. Behind the fence in a large, grassy area, were no less than two dozen pygmy goats wandering about.

"Awww, look-et-em Waddles," Mable cooed as Wendy jogged up behind her. "Just bounding around, sniffing the aiiir," she cooed.

"Dang Mabel," Wendy said, walking next to her an leaning on a post for the fences, "I thought it was just pigs for you."

"Nothing can replace the love for pigs I have in my heart," Mabel declared, "but I love all small, adorable, animals. Pygmy goats are small, and adorable, and animals. Check, check, and check."

A woman inside the pen spotted them. Thick dark hair and glasses on her face, she gulped as Mabel and Wendy leaned on the fences. "Hey," she called over, holding a bucker of feed in her arms, to which the goats began to swarm around her, "the zoo is closed."

"Aww, but they need my love," Mabel whined.

"It's closed? Really?" Wendy asked, "on a day like this?"

"Yes. Go tell your friends that I'm not interested in helping their investigation. I just want to keep my goats safe," she said, waving her hand at them in attempts to shoo them away.

"Your goats aren't safe?!" Mabel gasped, "who do I need to bury six feet under?"

"Mabel," Wendy chuckled.

"You don't mess with cute, innocent animals," Mabel proclaimed, "without the Mabes getting on your case."

A new, but somewhat familiar voice called out from the front of the building where guests could enter the Zoo. "That's good, because we could really use your help."

Mabel leaned away from the fence as Wendy turned and faced the new speaker. The woman inside rolled her eyes and continued to fuss about with the goats, ignoring the speakers outside. A man, flanked by four shadows, stepped out.

Wendy blinked. "Wait, you guys?"

"The N.P.P.P!" Mabel gasped.

True to her word, the man walking out, removing sunglasses from his face and wearing a simple cloth jacket with a plaid shirt, was none other than Geoffry, the ring-leader of the five-man band of the North Pacific Paranormal People. He nodded at them as the other four stepped out, all removed sunglasses in unison. Only one, Ben, poked his eye removing the glasses.

"What are you guys doing in Texas?" Wendy asked.

"Yeah. Unless my understanding of geographic nomenclature is outdated, the north pacific is way that way," Mabel said, tossing her finger over her shoulder to the generalized 'north' direction.

The woman in the fences shouted out, "they think they can stop it!"

"Stop what?" Mabel asked, and then looking to the five men before her, "stop who?"

Geoffrey sighed and crossed his arms. "What else could we be in the area for? A monster in this region with the kind of reputation that we have to solve it for ourselves."

Mabel gasped. "Leprechauns!"

Luke stared at her, and shook his head. "No. The chupacabra."

"Ohh," Mabel nodded. Then she snorted. "That's not real."

"Yes it is," Geoffrey grumbled.

"Nuh uh," Mabel teased.

"Yuh-huh," Geoffrey replied.

"Stop," Wendy stepped before them, now standing in between Mabel and the other ring-leader. "We have questions. You have questions... probably," Wendy said, glancing at the rest of the crew, "but rather than talking to us, we should get everyone together. Where's the rest of the show crew?" she asked.

The four behind Geoffrey had their heads drop, and the head of the N.P.P.P. shook his head. "They're all... gone."

"They _died_?!" Mabel gasped.

"Only in our hearts," Adam sighed.

"They bailed on us," Luke explained.

Wendy turned to Mabel, her brows creased. "Group meeting?" she asked.

Mabel slowly withdrew her sunglasses, flicked the pink arms out, and placed them on her face. With large bubbly hearts before her eyes, Mabel solemnly nodded and said, "round them up."

Roping the five men to the motel, which as it had turned out was the same place they were staying at, was a quick procedure. Dipper and Soos were half-way through a cat nap, and reacted in shock and annoyance with the loud arrival of the gang, Wendy, and Soos.

"Fine," Dipper grumbled, rubbing his eyes as he paced through the room, "start at the beginning."

"Take it away, compadres," Mabel indicated from her seat on the bed to the five.

Adam spoke first, adjusting himself as he and the five took the only other bed in the room. "We were out with the film crew. Texas was going to be our next big gig. Justin wanted us to film some shoots for the actual show opening, not just the pilot episode. He even had the poltergeist with him setting up a haunting in Georgia."

"The same day of the show," Geoffrey said, "our first episode, everything went wrong."

"How dudes? You guys had a heck of an advertisement," Soos admitted.

"We were in it!" Mabel cheered.

"Yeah," Ben nodded sadly, "but when the pilot aired, something really bad happened."

Marcus, who had his arms crossed, fell back into the bed with a loud flop. "Our show was instantly cancelled."

"Huh?" the twins mimed each other.

"How? Why?" Wendy asked.

"Because," Geoffrey growled, "Gravity Falls apprently doesn't exist?!" he asked. "On the episode itself, people were trying to find out how to get to the Mystery Manor, and Gravity Falls. Internet, call-ins, you name it. They wanted to see your Grunkle Stan's place."

"Only," Bum mumbled, "no source indicated that the town had ever even been real."

"Our show," Geoffrey shook his head, "was instantly destroyed as a 'mockumentary'. The 'Watch People go to Places' channel already had one about a troll doll who comes to life and eat diner food for a living. So we got our show cancelled as a fake!" he shouted.

"Ironic," Dipper said, "but still, it wasn't! The people on the crew could vouch for-"

"They follow the money," Marcus groaned exasperatedly, "and the money said that we were now fakes. So not only did we lose our camera crews, but our reputation is down the drain."

"Not to mention," Luke added, "we're, uh, kind of stuck. We don't have enough gas money to drive back to state."

Dipper paused, looking to the five. "You said that people couldn't find any documentation of Gravity Falls?" The five nodded. "But you remember it!" he pointed out.

"Well, duh," Adam chuckled, "it's a real place."

"Anyone who's been there could tell you that," Geoffrey shrugged, "Justin Oppen-jerk just refuses to acknowledge it because he knows he risks losing his job."

Dipper smiled, looking to his friends and Sister. Mabel couldn't help but be infected with his grin. She knew exactly what was exciting him. They weren't alone. There really were others who remembered Gravity Falls- not just flukes here or there for some odd reason. People who had only visited the town recalled it, defending it's prior existence.

"So," Geoffrey continued, "we're now here. The last sightings of the Chupacabra were in the area. So we're going to prove it exists, and get our credit back, so another television company can hire us and make a new show."

"Really?" Wendy gasped in exasperation, "that's the plan? You want to discover a species so you can get back on television?"

"Yes?" Adam said.

"What else do you do with paranormal prowess?" Luke asked.

Soos nodded. "He's got a point."

"Please," Geoffrey sighed, approaching Dipper, "you guys made us what we are. We got as far as we did because you guys, and the weird world that just follows you around."

"It won't just be following us anymore soon," Dipper mumbled.

"Huh?" Geoffrey asked. Dipper merely looked to him. "Uh... whatever," Geoffrey shook his head, "but the point being? We want your help."

"To track down the Chupacabra?" Dipper stated.

"Sounds radical," Mabel snickered.

"And dangerous," Soos pointed out.

"Both are true," Dipper said aloud, "and... look guys," he said to the N.P.P.P," I would totally be willing to help you look for this thing. It's another object on my bucket list since I got to see the inside of area 51.

"You what?" Ben gasped.

"But right now, and this is totally true," Dipper pointed to the four on the bed, "we're on a super-important mission to save the world. Couldn't make it up."

"But we... could use your help?" Geoffrey asked, his voice growing soft.

"Sorry guys," Dipper shrugged, "we can't take a stop. We're here for our own reason."

"Which is?" Adam asked.

"Saving the world?" Wendy reminded him.

Mabel pouted. The N.P.P.P. were an odd bunch, and they came off originally as a couple of jerks who just wanted to prove their worth. While that goal certainly seemed their continuing drive, their progress as legitimate investigators was good. Now they needed their help, and Mabel felt the pit in her stomach grow as she looked at the defeated faces. She stood up, and pulled Dipper away, towards the bathrooms.

"You know," Mabel shrugged, "maybe we could help them?"

"Mabel," Dipper warned.

"I know, I know," she rolled her eyes, "but we're up against some serious jerk-face and his mercenaries, right? Maybe having a few favors here or there isn't a bad thing?"

Dipper looked over his shoulder, to the expectant and waiting Geoffrey. He turned back to Mabel, shaking his head. "They're already down and out. What could they offer us?"

"...Moral support?" Mabel suggested tryingly.

"Mabel-"

"I know, I know!" she barked.

"You know our mission," Dipper stated, "and Zander would be furious if we-"

Mabel jumped straight up, gasping. "SHOOT!" she yelled.

"What?" Dipper asked, his eyes wide.

"I forgot to tell you!" Mabel laughed, "while I put your phone and vest away, Zander called!"

"... really?" Dipper glared at her. "Only until right now?"

Ignoring his suspicious look, Mabel continued. "He said that the next target is highly mobile, and doesn't follow paths and roads and things. It's all over the place and fast," she said. Dipper's eyes glared into hers, and when he found not a trace of Mabel's poor bluff ability, he softened.

"You mean it?" he asked.

"Yeah, Dip-Dip," she nodded, "and something running around with a starkissed stone, in the wild of Texas, around the same time they're," she nodded her head back towards the gang, "looking for the Chupacabra... c'mon bro, do we really still believe in coincidences?"

"I've _never_ believed in coincidences," Dipper reminded her.

"The what are we doing?" Mabel asked, "let's help them out!" she pleaded quietly. "A: It'll probably get us closer to the stone. B: it'll make me feel super better. Otherwise," she warned, "I'll whine about this for like a day."

"Ugh," Dipper shivered. "Okay, okay," he nodded, and then spun around, "we'll help.

"We will?" Wendy and Soos asked.

"Aside from the obvious chance to find out what the Chupacabra is," Dipper explained, "we're looking at the possibility to find one of our mission pieces," he said to Soos and Wendy. Soos blinked and frowned, giving the words some thought. On the other hand, Wendy's confusion dropped, and she nodded.

"As it turns out," Dipper looked to Geoffrey, "our needs are-"

Soos snapped his fingers. "Right! Got it," he nodded. The room stared at him. "Oh. Sorry, just catching up," he laughed.

Dipper sighed. "So we'll help. We'll help you get the monster, and you let us loot something off it, if we happen to find anything odd. Deal?" Dipper asked.

Geoffrey looked back to his crew, who seemed risen and eager in anticipation. With their stares, the leader swelled and puffed out his chest. To Dipper he nodded. "We get first photo chances if we catch it. After that," he extended a hand, "it's all yours."

The handshake was the sealing deal for the two forces to come together once again. For the next hour, while the sun began to set, the group settled on their plans.

According to the Five men, the tracks of the 'Chupacabra' indicated it was a high jumper, capable of easily leaping ten feet into the air. It was fast, but no faster on foot than a dog- which was plenty to worry about. Well, except for Mabel and maybe Wendy, who boasted the fastest of the group.

"This thing recently became interested in the petty Zoo across the street," Geoffrey explained over the plans, "and we're going to use it as a trap. "The Chupacabra has good hearing and sense of smell. That's why Ben made these," he had withdrawn small wallet-sized plastic devices, "sound jammers. You carry one on you, and unless that thing is ten feet away from you, it won't hear you. Scent is up to us, sadly," he had grumbled, "as it turns out, we're not too good with masking smells."

Sadly, but to Mabels excitement, the best way to masks their smell was to rub themselves all over the goats, and then hide in the trees around the petting Zoo.

Dipper had (begrudgingly) agreed. With his guidance, the groups would be split up. Dipper and Wendy would sneak to hide by the set of trees closest to the Motel, nearby the highway. The N.P.P.P, armed with their sonic devices, would wait inside the Goat building after the zoo-keeper left, and wait there. Mabel and Soos would be deeper inside the woods, keeping an eye on the petting zoo from the direction the nine most suspected the creature to come from.

With the aid of Mabel, Soos was able to climb slowly into the second tier branches of the trees, watching the pygmy goats in the setting sun as crimson light flooded the surrounding shade. With Mabel just a branch above him, the two took to their post, and Soos activated the noise canceller.

"And so my watch begins," Mabel earnestly said.

Below them, a pig squealed, looking up the tree.

"Waddles, shh," Mabel said to him quietly," don't draw attention. Just sit and be patient. We won't let anything happen to the goats," Mabel assured the pig, who turned back and stared at his newly met four-legged companions.

"He looks worried, hambone," Soos told her.

"He's like me," Mabel told him, "a soft spot for small cute things." A buzz came from her sweater, tied around her waist. Undoing the tight knot, Mabel lifted up the pocket and withdrew he new pay-as-you-go phone. She lifted it open and said, "Dippodoodle, wassup?"

"The Zookeeper just left in her truck. Wendy and I are preparing on our end for anything that could come by," Dipper said quietly, "just remember not to move around too much. We don't know how good the Chupacabra's eyesight is, so for all we know even the slightest movement could be spotted."

"Ugh," Mabel grumbled, "staying still is not my strong suit."

"I know, which is why I'm reminding you," Dipper sighed, "and be careful. People think this is some sort of alien left behind by another species. If our time with Yuki has taught us anything, it's that it could be possible."

"Maybe I could understand it," Mabel gasped, "you know, understand their language?"

"Only if it spoke the same language that Yuki spoke," Dipper reminded her.

"Urlin," Mabel said.

"Come again?" Dipper asked.

"The language was called Urlin, and it sounds like," Mabel said in the tongue as fluently as a highly trained and skilled linguist 'My brother is very smart but is also very dumb', making a series of low whistles and chirps. "See?"

"Whatever," Dipper said, "just let us know if anything crazy happens outside of the pens. Wendy and I are on standby."

"Oho," Mabel chuckled, "I bet you two are."

"Shuddup," Dipper grumbled, and the line cut out. Mabel laughed and stuffed the phone away.

"Was that the language of the Alien race?" Soos asked.

"You bet! I usually sleep talk with it now, so Dipper can't make fun of what I say during dreams, because it just sounds like weird noises to him," Mabel smirked.

Soos chuckled. "Say something," he asked. Mabel pursed her lips. After a pause to scan her imprinted knowledge of the language in her brain, she smirked. She spoke quickly and intently, the whistles and chirps sounding almost as birdcalls. "Wow," Soos blinked, "so, was that like 'take me to your leader'?"

"No, it was 'I need to fart'," Mabel giggled. Soos laughed with her, holding onto the plastic device. He leaned forward, and for a quick moment, he nearly stumbled out of the tree, but he caught himself, and gasped.

"Close one," he sighed, and looked back up to Mabel, "so everything is all set up and stuff?"

"Sounds like it," Mabel shrugged.

"Wow. We're like secret agents ourselves now," Soos shook his head, "if only I could hear Abuelita now."

"Your grandma?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah," Soos sighed. His eyes gazed out over the horizon, where the distant center of San Antonio City collected. Mabel craned her head down to him, trying to get a read on his face. He was harder to see, since the shadow of the setting sun fell on their backs, and the trees around them cast deep, dark shadows. Finally he looked up to her, and she saw his well-meaned smile. "Dipper and Wendy are okay on their side, right?"

"Hah," she muttered with a sly grin, "I think Dipper's more than happy over there."

"Oh yeah?" Soos asked.

"Yup," Mabel nodded, "I bet they're coming up with more plans than just the Chupacabra."

"Oh good," Soos sighed, "because I was really afraid if Bigfoot decided to show up instead what would happen. I mean, he's like totally a big dude, and-"

"Soos," Mabel cut in, laughing, "I mean that Dipper and Wendy are probably flirting over there."

"Ohhhhh," Soos nodded his head. He stared at the goats for a few quiet moments. His head then turned to Mabel. "Really?"

"I bet," she shrugged.

"Wow. When did that start happening again?" Soos asked.

"Wait, Soos, really?" Mabel asked, looking down to her friend.

"What?"

"Dipper and Wendy have had the most relationship-tension that I've ever seen in the past 'my entire life'," Mabel rolled her eyes, "like, the entire reason Dipper is trying to cure Wendy from her Wraith-thing, aside from being a good person," Mabel added as a honest note, "is because she'll totally fall in love for saving her! Or at least that's what my thoughts are."

"I thought Dipper and Wendy had an official understanding during the first summer," Soos pointed out, "that she was too old for him. I totally was hiding, you know?" Soos mentioned to her, "they never knew I was there."

"Right," Mabel chirped, "but you know Dipper. He's stubborn as Grunkle Stan. And, to back up my bro-bro," Mabel smirked, "if we consider that Wendy hasn't aged for the past three years, that actually makes her and Dipper the same age."

"Oh," Soos nodded, "huh. That makes sense. In a really creepy way, I guess."

"Creepy is love," Mabel leaned back against the core of the tree, her hands behind her head.

"But man," Soos sighed, "that means I'll be the only person who isn't really tied to everyone."

"Huh?" Mabel leaned over her branch, looking at Soos. "Whatcha talkin' about?"

"Well, there's you and Dipper. Brother and Sister," Soos explained, "and now there's Wendy and Dipper, which then makes you and Wendy soon-to-be sisters in law."

"Soos, we think alike," Mabel nodded proudly.

"But I'm just the co-worker," he muttered, "that big guy that follows everyone around and slows up the group."

"Whoa, whoa," Mabel leaned off the branch she was on, and slid down the tree. Her eyes were wide as the light faded, and she struggled to see his face. Regardless of light, she could see the crestfallen man's face. He stared at the goats below him, deep frown in his gaze. "Soos, what's wrong?"

He slowly turned back to her. "Hambone, I don't know if I can really keep up with you guys."

"Soos, you _are_ keeping up with us," Mabel stated.

"Well, yeah, having Mister Pine's car helps," Soos admitted, "but I mean in the group."

"What do you mean?"

Soos sunk in his seat. He held out his palm and lifted a finger. "Mabel, you're really good at fighting, and you're super good with decorating." He lifted a second finger. "Dipper is super smart, and learned from you how to fight." He lifted a third finger. "Wendy is crazy stealthy and never loses her cool."

"Wendy is the pinnacle of physical perfection, I think," Mabel shrugged, "I once wrote down that she was actually a princess from another planet in a book with Dipper."

"Right, see?" Soos nodded, "you're all super cool and good at stuff like this," he said, waving around, "secret agent, saving the world, let's be waaay-cool kind of things. Mabel, what am I good at?"

"Being awesome?" Mabel chuckled. Soos stared at her. "Whoa," she gasped, "wait, you... really mean it? Soos," she sat next to him, "like, you're good at fixing things."

"I was a handyman," he said, "for the Mystery Shack. I can do some repairs and things, but what else am I good for?" he asked, "I wasn't able to call and tell Melody what had happened until Dipper get me a new phone. Mabel," Soos sighed, "am I slowing you guys down or anything?"

Mabel blinked, "Uh, no," she stated. "Soos, you being around is helpful."

"But what about earlier in Area 51," Soos said, "we got caught because I distracted you."

"That was just a one time thing," Mabel sighed.

"Or when the Bison attacked the town," Soos sunk in his seat more, "Wendy had to scare them all into listening. I didn't help there at all."

"Wait, Soos," Mabel tried speaking more, but the heavy thoughts Soos had spilled further out.

"With the vampires in Spoons, or with your parents... I wasn't any help," Soos sighed, "and... I couldn't even stop Steindorf from getting to Mister Pines back when..."

Mabel watched, the light finally vanishing over the distant hills miles away, as Soos bent forward, his cap covering his face. This was... scary. Scary for Mabel to see an indomitable force of positivity and good tidings become so down. She couldn't blame him though. Sure, maybe he had been sad like this once before- with the improper celebrations of his birthday and the reminder of his father's lack of presence, but since then, he had always been the optimistic and forward kind of guy.

"Soos, buddy," Mabel patted his shoulder, "you're what we need. It's not just about how you throw a punch or stuff, okay?" she assured him, her voice quieter and more kind. "We always are glad that you're around. Even when you do mess up."

Soos looked to her, and sighed. "I guess. I dunno. It's just-"

Mabel sniffed something in the air. Her nostrils flared. The hairs along her arms and head stuck on end. Goosebumps rose along her body as she shivered. All this for a smell. One smell she never would forget.

"Mabel?" Soos asked, watching her shiver.

"_Werewolves_," she quietly gasped, and turned to look in the dark woods. "I just got a sniff of 'ol wolfy I think."

"Wait, a werewolf?" Soos gulped. "I thought this was a chupacabra."

Mabel nodded. She bit her lip as she sniffed again. It was even stronger. Yet... "Something is weird about it," she mentioned quietly.

"Like it's got a whiff of chocolate?" Soos asked, slowly pulling up a bar of chocolate to his mouth, "because I'm about to start nervous eating."

"No, not chocolate," Mabel shook her head, "it's... something in the smell. I don't recognize it-"

WHOOSH.

Landing in the center of the surrounded fence of goats was a creature. The goats in the center panicked, moving into the farther reaches of the fence, startled and away of the being's presence.

Mabel could barely see it in the shade. It was large- nearly the size of a person. The thing, this Chupacabra if it was, slowly rose to stand on four legs, and then lifted itself up on two hind legs, sniffing the air. Patches of thin, whisker-like hair covered it's body in odd spots. From the front of it's sullen face, two glowing red eyes pierced the night, looking about the fence. On it's hind legs, it turned all about, and found the closest pygmy goat to it, frozen in fear.

Then Waddles squealed and slapped his face against the wire fence.

The animal spun around, ignoring the goat for Waddles.

"HEY!" Mabel leapt outward, flying in the air for the animal.

"Mission: Ambush is a go!" Soos shouted, and plummeted from the tree branch.

The moment Mabel landed before the thing, it towered over her. She could see the fang like teeth in it's canine jaw, but only for a second. As soon as she made stance, ready for a fight, it leapt again. Clearing double her height and clearing over the fence in one leap, it landed next to Waddles, who shrieked.

"No!" Mabel gasped.

The thing, in one fell swoop, bent low, grasped Waddles, and stole him away. He leapt over Soos, who yelled as he dived straight for it.

Mabel's vision went crystal clear as her entire mind felt numb. She screamed into the night as she leapt and crawled over the fence. "BRING BACK MY PIG, YOU BEAST!" she screamed into the night.

Waddles screamed into the night as he bounded again and again, growing further and further away.

Mabel stumbled over the fence, and was on her feet, pushing her heels into the dirt and fallen dry leaves with as much gusto as she could muster. Behind her was screaming, shouting, panic. Soos's heavy breathing and begging for her to wait up was easily heard. Yet he slowly vanished behind her.

All that mattered was an animal so sweet and innocent as Waddles had played the hero, and ended up taken by this creature of shadow. Again and again Mabel heard the breaking of twigs and branches as this thing leapt further and further away, trailing the wailing pig into the night.

Her heart was tearing itself from her chest. Her lungs screamed for pacing, as she breathed and screamed in unison. Tears blotted her vision. Her mind chewed on her conscious: _How could I let this happen!?_

"Mabel! Wait!" Soos' words were a distant and lost thought as she pushed further and further into the night and into the wilderness.

"WADDLES!" she shouted, running ahead.

"Mabel! I can't keep up!" his distancing voice pleaded.

She couldn't wait. She refused to.

Soon the woodlands opened into a vast field, and she raced over hills, aware the direction of the creature, feeling in the ground each impact as it landed and it leapt again.

If she had to save her precious friend, her helpless, loving, adorable buddy, she would draw blood.

That fury, that pressing anger drove her even faster and faster.

Her race was a black whirl of wind and sound.

Then the earth beneath her gave away.

Her head struck the ground first. Suddenly the sound of the race was instead a scrambling, tumbling, spinning mess. Her hair flew about as she slapped into the ground again and again as she fell into a ravine of some sort. At the bottom of the ravine, she heard a small 'click'.

She fell again, this time screaming. Her screams echoed around vividly, not muffled by the earth she thought she had fallen into. Reflective surface around her dully reflected her image, and she looked down in the split second she fell to see a solid floor racing to her.

Wham.

Her stomach hit first. All the air in her lungs were blasted out forcibly as the velocity of her fall came to a stop. Her entire body felt weak, like a perfect strike from her master, Arline Hirsh, had just got her in the gut.

But she knew that Waddles needed her help. She slowly pushed off the ground. It was cold, solid, and metal. Her watery eyes blinking, she looked up.

A figure in a lab coat looked down on her, holding a solid looking cylinder in her hands. Mabel barely had a chance to open her mouth. Her gasping cry for aid was met, and the woman struck downward with the object.

Mabel's world went dark.

* * *

Oh no! Mabel! Noo!

(EZB sees waddles in the distance) OH GOD! SCREW MABEL, SAVE THE PIG!

And once again, I leave you, my friends, with a little cliffhanger. What the heck happened there? Hmm, maybe this story is just a tad more complicated than it would seem. With the reappearance of the NPPP, this marks the beginning of seasonal character returns that have been in the making. Next episode, we're going to be getting quite the return of a character whom people have been asking about since EPISODE ONE. But that's neither here nor there. Right now, Chupacabra.

Lots of secrets going on with the gang. (puts on a Kylo Ren mask) there is an awakening in the trust. Have you felt it? (removes Kylo Mask) oh who am I kidding. I'm not a patricidal maniac. I can't wear this.

(Kylo Ren approaches)

Kylo Ren: I knew you had it. And now you're going to give it to the First Order. (EZB shrugs and hands it away. Kylo glares, but marches off)

Whatever angsty.

So, hope you guys enjoyed the update, and remember to turn in next week! The conclusion of this episode, and we'll figure out what is going on! Heck, maybe even with meany-face Graupner and Alvis? I dunno.

(A Tie-Fighter crash-lands onto EZB, exploding into fire and ruin and probably crushing him in his spot. Kylo Ren pops back out, noticing that the computer EZB wrote with was... undamaged.)

Kylo Ren: This is now too important to be incomplete. (he sits down by the desk, the fire and ruins behind him) I will finish... (he looks to the area EZB was just at) ...what you started. (begins to type away in an uncharacteristically upbeat way.)


	74. The Shadow of the Chupacabra: Part 2

Mabel was no stranger to headaches. Being the twin that was innately more actively inclined and prone to movement meant the chances for mishaps seemed stacked against her. Bumping into tree-branches, headbutting car doors, headbutting house doors, headbutting brothers- the list went on. Heck, every once in a while, it could just come down to staying up late and consuming what she considered to be a perfectly reasonable amount of candy at the time. Then she woke up with a headache _and_ a stomachache.

Stirring to consciousness, she could tell that this was among the worst ones.

Her forehead was raw and throbbing along with the insides of her mind. The fluffy pink matter Mabel affectionately called her brain pulsed with a soreness that could only be explained with two words.

"Fire-Extinguisher," she mumbled.

Her eyes flicked open, and she realized her source of pain. Lying on her back, her eyes had been focused right underneath a long, fluorescent light bulb. The static undertones of the humming light drove her miserable status just one inch closer to intolerable.

"Ugh," she rolled to her shoulder, and found the cold tiles beneath her. "Huh?" she whispered, feeling the cold smooth texture, "am I in a kitchen?" she looked up, and saw the tiles, white and grey, reaching up a nearby wall, "or a bathhouse?" she rolled the other direction.

Her nose collided with a large, closely welded together collection of bars of steel. Mabel gasped, and stood up, holding tight to the cage that she realized enclosed her into a corner.

"A _freaky_ bathhouse!" Mabel decided.

A new voice floated out into the air. "You're awake," someone said. The someone stood and walked towards her, smaller heels to a hard shoe and a brisk pace bringing closer to Mabel a figure in a white, worn lab coat. Her hair was tied behind her in a middle-to-the-back length ponytail, with streaks of silver in an otherwise sold blond. Her face held wrinkles and a look that Mabel saw akin to her brother- deep bags under her eyes that spoke of little sleep.

"Madam Moriau!" Mabel called out, "I need you to he me outta here! I've been mistaken for an evil trespasser or something!"

"Moriau?" she repeated. "How did you know my name?"

Mabel pointed to the lab coat. "Nametag," she plainly stated.

"Oh, right," the woman rolled her eyes, and adjusted the position of her small name-plate, "but it's not Madam. It's doctor."

"Doctor! Huh," Mabel paused, looking away in thought, "swear I've heard that before..."

As she focused on this 'Doctor Moriau', she was aware of her surroundings. The large space before her was some structure entirely paved in tile. White florescent light illuminated the air, giving a nauseatingly studious atmosphere. To Mabel, the only thing that was missing was a serious of beakers, a large computer, and various tables, desks, and bookshelves to complete the crazed scientist look. Then she looked to her left, and saw the three desks, fifteen bookshelves, and two massive computers and a laptop. Mabel puffed out a huff. This was Dipper's deal, not hers.

"Young lady," the woman approached in haste, withdrawing a ring of clattering keys from her pocket, "you're in grave danger!"

"Not the first time," Mabel shrugged, "are you letting me out?"

"Yes, you need to flee," the Doctor told her as she found the correct key and began to unlock a thin door in the cage.

"Right," Mabel nodded, "I plan on it. I'm looking for my pig, waddles-"

"I'm sorry, but your life is worth more than a pigs!" the Doctor snapped.

"You take that back!" Mabel pushed herself against the cage with a slam. "A moment with Waddles is worth a year of internet cute animal videos!"

The doctor stared at her. "R-regardless," she shook her head, "you need to leave! And quickly!" The cage door opened, and the woman ushered her out. "It will find me soon."

"Wait, _it_?" Mabel inquired.

"The monster," the doctor clarified.

"You mean old goat-nommer!" Mabel cried as she stepped out, "Chupacabra!"

"Goat _what_?" the doctor asked.

"How does it know where we are!?" Mabel demanded. She grasped the coat of the woman, pulling her forward with her considerable strength, and the older doctor gasped. Her eyes widened as she stared into Mabel's desperate ones. "_Have you seen my pig!? Pink?! SPOTTED?!_"

A loud growl caught Mabel by surprise. She whipped around, her stance back in action. Headache or not, she wouldn't be knocked out again.

A doorway showed a pair of double wooden doors, and one slowly slid open. Stepping out, with a loud snarl, was-

"No!" The woman grabbed Mabel, and spun her to face her, "you must run!" she said. Still holding Mabel, she then crab-walked so that she was facing the door, her eyes locked into Mabel's the entire time. "You must live and save the lives of others! Complete this mission of yours! Find your... pig..." the doctor cringed, and shook her head, "Now! Fly!" she spun, grasped a baseball bat in on the wall.

By the time the doctor had spun again, the Chupacabra was there. No longer on all fours, it was content to stand on it's hind legs. Mabel gasped and saw it's imposing height. Lithe and muscular, it was easily the size of a Minotaur with the build of a werewolf. Patches of matted brown and black hair and glowing eyes created an imposing presence.

The woman screamed, and ran forward, loosely holding the baseball bat over her head. Mabel shouted as the Chupacabra grabbed her by the shoulder, and slowly lifted her into the air.

"You are denied, you foul beast!" The doctor roared, patting the Chupacabra weakly with the baseball bat. Being held easily in the air, the woman turned Mabel, "Now run away! And Quickly! Especially don't tell anyone where you found my lab!"

Mabel gritted her teeth. "I'll- I'll help you!" she shouted, and rushed forward. Training activated, and her mind focused as it rarely did. Suddenly she was airborne, and both the Chupacabra and the doctor turned to see Mabel spun-jump-kick her heel across the beast's face. The grip of the doctor was instantly loosened as the monster flew ten feet back and rolled onto the ground, whimpering. "Ha! Yeah!" Mabel cheered.

"Wait, did... did you just-" the doctor gasped, her mouth fallen open and her eyes wide.

"Totally owned this monster with my crazy-cool Path's Moves? Heck yes!" Mabel cheered.

"No one's stood up to him before," the doctor gasped, "I-I mean, you need to run! Idiot! this is dangerous, see?" she lifted the baseball bat and pointed to it, "I have to defend myself with a blunt object. This means it's really bad. Violence and physical exertion."

"Don't worry about it, doctor," Mabel nodded, and pushed her hair from in front of her face to behind her ears. The Chupacabra was rising, and she would be ready to face it. "Mabel is on the case!" she planted a foot firmly on the tile, and lunged forward again. With a loud, long, bellowing war cry, Mabel raced forward to the monster, who whimpered and held up it's paws.

"SQUEAL!"

A flash of pink and spots of black trotted in front of Mabel, and her feet locked into breaks until she slid to a stop. Before the dreaded monster, of all things, was the greatest treasure Mabel had ever found at a fairgrounds.

"Waddles!" Mabel cried, and fell to her knees to scoop the pig into her arms. Waddles gently walked forward, planting his nose against hers. Lifting him up and checking his chubby cheeks, she said, "it didn't hurt you did he!?" she demanded, and then realized that the pig, aside from a patch of dirt, looked perfectly fine. "Wow... did you charm someone else?" she asked with a chuckle, and looked to the Chupacabra.

It was up again, and lunging forward.

"YOU EVIL-" Mabel bellowed, and ducked over Waddles. The thing could chew her up for days, but she would never allow her pig to be harmed. Closing her eyes and waiting for the impact, Mabel clenched her body tightly.

"What are you doing!?" the Doctor's voice came out as something heavy collided with something equally heavy, but softer.

Mabel blinked, and looked directly up.

The Chupacabra was standing above Waddles and Mabel, holding out a hand to block the baseball bat that, in accordance to Mabel's perception of movement, would have just been swung down onto her head.

"Okay... what the heck is going on here?!" Mabel cried out.

The doctor ignored her. "They're witnesses. The girl and... even the pig know of this location now. Because you got seen, they followed you here!" Doctor Moriau whined. "You must let me-"

"No."

Mabel and Waddles both squealed, and whipped their gazes to the Chupacabra, who filly stepped over and past them. Without trying, he gently removed the woman's baseball bat from her grip, and let it fall. It had spoken. A fair, smooth voice; one that harbored no evil or hate or violence. It was... human like.

"No one."

The doctor growled. "We've tried that before. We have to move!" she pointed to the computers, "all the data! All the research! I can't start from zero again! We don't have the luxury of time!"

The canine head shook back and forth. "No one." It then lifted a paw, and extended a pinky.

The doctor stared at the paw, the small, nubby digit, her eyes shimmering. "If... if you insist. Maybe... Oh very well," she sniffled, "but what are we to do with them then?"

"Do what with us?!" Mabel said, standing up. "And, uh, since when did the Chupacabra talk!?" Mabel gasped. "Oh my god, I get it," she pointed to the doctor, "you captured it and you're training it to be more like a human!"

Both the doctor and the monster spun to Mabel, their eyes wide and an eyebrow raised in the same way. Mabel smirked at the Chupacabra and chuckled. Aside from a large, black collar wrapped around it's neck, she noticed a strange, silly resemblance.

"Hehe, your eyebrows look like hers," she pointed from the Chupacabra to the doctor.

"Young lady," the Doctor strode past the animal, holding the baseball bat in her hands, at the ready, "you need to understand two things. One, that I am a woman who is willing to do whatever is necessary to accomplish my goals."

"Sounds like people I've met," Mabel shrugged, "and it's also strangely ambiguous! Neat!"

"Two, why this poor thing needs my help," the doctor turned, and placed a hand on the tall creature's shoulders.

"Huh? Poor creature?" Mabel barked, "it tried to eat Waddles! It eats goats! Cute, little, hippity-hoppity goaties," Mabel frowned, glaring at the rare being with a distaste. It recoiled from her gaze very visibly.

"We all eat animals," the doctor argued, "and that pig was brought here unharmed. I was the one to suggest he eat it," the doctor shrugged.

"What?!" Mabel gasped. "How- how could you!?" she dropped to Waddles, clutching him and squeezing tightly. "He's too cute to be eaten!"

"To protect... him," she looked to the Chupacabra, "anything must be done. He was the one to demand your swing be left alive, and even healthy."

"Wait... really?" Mabel gasped, looking to the creature. It nodded, still hesitant to move closer to Mabel. "But... but you eat things like Waddles," she said, "you're a monster."

"He wasn't always a monster," the doctor sighed.

"It... wasn't?" Mabel asked quietly. The woman's head fell forward in a long sigh. The hair fell past her face, dramatically flipping forward. Mabel squealed, and patted Waddles rapidly as excitement coursed through her body. "She's going to monologue!" Mabel declared quietly.

True to Mabel's words, the woman raised her head, her eyes peering out from behind the blond and silver hair. She spoke, her voice low yet very clear.

"Long ago, in the year nineteen eighty seven," the doctor described mystically.

"That is a long time ago," Mabel mused.

"In the horrible setting of a top-secret underground base run by evil German scientists, a young boy was subjected to many hideous experiments that would change his body and mind forever," the doctor said, her arms held out for flair, "that boy... is him," she turned, and looked to the Chupacabra.

"No!" Mabel gasped.

"Yes," the doctor nodded.

"But how is that possible?! People thought the Chupacabra was an alien and stuff," Mabel mentioned.

"The doctors, made with power and a lust to create things of destruction," the doctor continued, "did the impossible. They combined the cells of werewolves with... the curse of the vampire!" she declared.

Mabel's mouth fell open. "Oh my Sev'ral Times."

"Oh your what?" The doctor blurted.

"That's why I thought I smelled werewolves earlier!" Mabel gasped.

"You did not," the doctor rolled her eyes.

"Yes I did," Mabel pouted.

"Only other supernatural creatures with a high sense of smell can do such a feat," the doctor explained.

"Well, I was a werewolf once," Mabel shrugged.

The doctor glared at Mabel. "Cute. But this is not joke," she scolded the teenager. "This former boy has been subjected to terrible things! And pining for attention by pretending to 'formerly' being a werewolf is a great way to lose your credibility, with what little you currently have!" Doctor Moriau hissed.

"But it's not a joke!" Mabel insisted. "I _was_ a werewolf! I got bit, and before I could become a full fledged moon-yapper, I was able to have a Were-man bite me!" she explained.

"A what?!" the doctor trembled, her fists clenched. "What is this ridiculous story!"

"A were-man is like, the opposite of a were-animal. Instead of us becoming an animal thingy, animals become human. It's craaa-zaaay."

"Stop!" the doctor clenched the baseball bat and held it above her head. Yet the hand of the Chupacabra grasped the end. Doctor Moriau turned, glaring at the 'supposed' boy. "What?!" she demanded.

"She's not lying," the Chupcabra said.

"...no," the doctor blinked, her baseball bat falling to the floor with a wooden clatter.

"Yes," the creature nodded.

"Yup!" Mabel chirped.

"But... that means..." the doctor leaned closer, her wide, curious gaze peering along Mabel as a scanner across a bar-code. Mabel allowed the inspection to go without interruption, as the attention, while weird, was still attention. She'd welcome it. She even did a few flexes with her arms, showing off what little muscle mass she had.

"See?" Mabel asked as the Doctor stepped away, biting on her finger as she furrowed her brow. Mabel grinned, "Certified badass."

"Your body could have developed a certain... immune response to Werewolf biology," the doctor murmured over her bite, "that means... if a response similar could be manufactured out of samplings of your tissues or fluids-"

"Okay, okay," Mabel said, backing up next to her pig, her arms up, "sampling comes with permission, got it?" The doctor glared at it. "What? I don't like needles!"

"No one likes needles," the woman sighed, "but you could prove to... well... be invaluable to me."

Mabel blinked. "R-Really?"

"Yes," the doctor nodded, "you see, the reason I've spent so long chasing a cure for this, uh, poor man," she again indicated the tall Chupacabra, who looked to her with a disapproving stare, "is because each time the full moon comes, Edward here becomes harder and harder to control. Even for himself!"

"Dude," Mabel thumbed her chest with a fist, looking to the Chupacabra, "I feel you."

"It's made finding a stable environment hard. After all, the moment he goes out and eats his fill, investigations come and look for him. Too many close calls, "she explained, "too many near-discovers. We needed a larger land, and Texas is making well. Until... recently," she glared at the beast behind her named Edward. "This time, I will find a cure before we leave."

"Right," Mabel nodded, "I think I follow. You're going to cure him with my blood or something."

"Uh, in the simplest terms," the doctor shrugged, "sort of."

"Well shoot," Mabel sighed and rolled up her sweater, "go for it, doc."

"You... mean it?" Doctor Moriau gasped.

"Heh. I don't see why not," Mabel shrugged, "If this stops the helpless goats and piggies and chickens from being eaten, heck-a-doodle yes I'm doing this. Besides," Mabel laughed, "I've probably lost like a hundred times more blood than whatever you're going to take."

The doctor paused, staring at Mabel with concern. "I hope not."

"It happens when you're trying to save the world. And he's also a part of-" Mabel gasped, her eyes looking to the Chupacabra. They focused onto the collar around his neck. There, a small, black rock hummed nebulous, starry light from a metal fasten. Nearly the size of a pearl, it was no wonder Mabel hadn't seen it before.

"Young lady?" the doctor blurted out after Mabel had frozen for a few moments.

"Uh-" Mabel shook her head, and rolled the sleeve back down. "On second thought, I want a trade."

"What?!" Doctor Moriau gasped. "You were just willing to relinquish your blood without trade!"

"I'll relinquish more than blood if you don't hear me out," Mabel threatened as she shook a fist at them. The Chupacabra stepped close to the doctor, and the two held each other tightly. "Right," Mabel sighed, lowering her hand, "I'm on a mission to save the world, got it?"

"Okay, you're officially insane," the doctor nodded, "but please, continue."

"In order to save the world from a magical explosion that should happen in... I dunno, like three weeks now, I think," Mabel pondered, "yeah, sounds about right. Three weeks! I can stop it, along side with my friends. But in order to do that, I need to collect those stones," she pointed ahead to the collar, "that iddy-biddy-widdle-" Mabel gasped, "ACH! NO!" she slapped her mouth, and began to pat her tongue fiercely, "BAD TONGUE! Never use that word!"

"Which word?" the doctor asked worriedly.

"Anyway," Mabel crossed her arms and stuck her tongue back in her mouth, "I want that stone. Gimme, and I'll trade you my blood to help cure him."

The doctor stared at Mabel. The teenager was used to that kind of stare. Mabel was eccentric, but not dumb. It was the look of someone who saw another human being as lower than them. Superiority of themselves or Mabel being lower, it didn't matter. The woman thought poorly of Mabel for one reason or another. That glare deterred Mabel. She was tired now, still sore in the stomach and the head. Given another moment of two with that look, she might just grab the collar, tear it off, and run off with Waddles in her arms.

Then the doctor spoke. "If you agree that while I work with your blood, you are not to leave my compound, I will accept your terms."

"What?!" Mabel grumbled, "I can't leave?!"

"Yes."

"Why not?" Mabel growled.

"Because if one sample is not enough," Doctor Moriau coldly explained, "another will be required. Perhaps skin tissue, or a hair sample, or a throat swab."

Mabel blew a raspberry. "No deal."

"Then you will not get a stone, and trust me," the doctor slowly pulled out from her pocket a device with a large button, "you won't get far."

"What's that?" Mabel groaned, rolling her eyes. "A button that activates a huge-robot that will try attacking me? Or maybe poisonous gas that will flood the area, and knock me out? Or will you sick highly trained rats on me?" Mabel hypothesized.

"No," Doctor Moriau grinned, "this turns off all the lights."

Mabel gasped. "One of my weaknesses! You knew I couldn't see in the dark!?" The doctor rolled her eyes. Mabel yelled out, "Curses!"

"But my- I mean-" Doctor Moriau cleared her throat, "Edward here will have no trouble seeing in the dark."

Mabel gritted her teeth and clenched her hands. "You play dirty, doctor."

"I'm running low on time and options," she scowled at Mabel. "Whether you or I like it or not, you are one of the last hopes for him, "she pointed to the Chupacabra. "I don't trust you. You're probably a crazy mystery and conspiracy nut type that I've seen prowling around recently."

"My brother's job, actually," Mabel snorted.

"But I'm willing to surrender the collar that monitors my... friend here," she nodded to Edward the Chupacabra, "if you will allow me to render it obsolete and cure him."

Mabel pursed her lips as she considered the deal once again. The woman was slightly stuck up with her self-importance, or at least the importance of her work. The old lady reminded her of Grunkle Ford in a weird way- dedicated to a cause, even if that opposed Mabel's. Then her eyes drifted to the Chupacabra, his glowing red eyes staring at Mabel. If they hadn't been naturally intimidating, Mabel could have sworn his eyes were swimming in tears.

"How about you, buddy-boy?" Mabel asked, crossing her arms.

The creature swallowed audibly. "I... I think you should help, please," he said.

"Oh, okay," Mabel sighed.

"Excellent," the doctor sighed, and put away the device. She then extended her hand. "Do we have a deal, miss...?"

Mabel stepped out, checking the hand. That phrasing had been used once or twice in the past, and it usually came back to haunt her, or her family. But the eyes of the woman were not slits, nor were blue flames licking the skin of the doctors hands. Bill Cipher was out there, but Mabel knew the signs. This was just a formal agreement between two humans.

She could handle humans.

The teenager grabbed the hand, and shook it. "I'm Mabel."

The doctor nodded. "Very well Mabel. Stand still for a moment. I will retrieve the required materials to retrieve a sample. Stand still," she ordered, and then turned, walking away towards one of her desks.

Mabel puffed out yet another blast of breath. Being ordered around by this doctor wasn't thrilling, but at least the threats had stopped. Waddles oinked happily next to her, and Mabel finally smiled, looking to her pink companion. "You feeling okay, buddy?" she asked.

Waddles snorted.

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, "I know."

"He was very brave," the Chupacabra suddenly spoke up.

"Huh?" Mabel spun, facing the being named Edward as he sat down on all fours.

"The pig, Waddles," Edward the Chupcabra mumbled, "he was very brave. For a pig, I mean. But also for... a human..." he slowly turned his head away, looking towards the ground.

"Oh," Mabel scratched her scalp, "thanks. I guess."

"So are you," the Chupacabra added.

"Eh. Training in the paths aughta do that," she admitted.

"No one's ever stayed behind when I pretended to attack her," Edward said quietly, looking to Mabel with wide eyes.

"So you were pretending?" Mabel gasped. "Wow! I thought you were going to eat her. Like, big-bad wolf style!"

"No," Edward let out a small, nervous chuckle, "we do that routine when someone finally finds our base."

"Ohhh," Mabel laughed.

"No one's ever stuck by her before. They all go running away the moment I lift her with one arm," Edward noted. "Why?"

Mabel shrugged. "Well, 'cus."

"Because?"

"I last saw you with my pig," Mabel explained. "And no one takes my pig. No one. Except me, my pig and his girlfriend, "Mabel giggled.

Edward joined Mabel in a small laugh. Even on all fours, he was nearly at her shoulder in height. A massive creature laughing alongside her, Mabel blinked in shock. Nostalgia and resemblance washed over her. This felt... just like Gravity Falls. The danger, the discovery, and the creatures that ended up just being like people only weird: Mabel felt like the world was becoming infected with weirdness.

"You're funny," Edward stated.

"And you're socially awkward," Mabel smiled, "so we can totally be friends you know!" she explained in a rush. Edward blinked, and looked past Mabel. She followed his gaze, and found across the room the source: the doctor currently sterilizing a needle with a heated rod. "Pfft. Ignore what she says," Mabel said to him as she turned around, "you have your own opinions you know."

He stared at the doctor for a moment longer, and then sighed. To Mabel, he explained, "She's just stressed. The last forty nine times we've tried to settle down to cure me, we've run into people finding us, and now she expects others mean trouble."

"She's mean," Mabel summarized.

"No, no," the Chupacabra insisted, "she's not!"

"If you say so, fuzzy-wumples," Mabel sighed.

"Now," Doctor Moraiu approached again, holding a large needle and syringe in her hands, "this will just take a moment."

"Ugggh," Mabel groaned, tensing instantly at the size of the device, "can't you just start with, you know, a skin sample? Or a breath sample? Painless thingies?"

"Blood is the greater common denominator between vampires and werewolves. If your body is to have a response against Edward's condition, it will be greatest in your blood. Now," she approached, "roll up your sleeve."

Mabel, with a curl in her lip of the greatest disgust and resentment, slowly folded up her sweaters sleeve, revealing her toned arm. She turned her eyes to the floor, and Waddles nervously stared up to her as the doctor swabbed her skin. "Don't look buddy," she insisted, "this is what science has wrought. Madness and-" A sharp pain jabbed into her arm, and she squealed.

"Done," the doctor sighed, and turned away, a sample of blood in the device.

"Really?!" Mabel barked, rubbing her arm angrily. "No warning is stupid amounts of rude!"

"And it was over before you knew it," the doctor scowled at her, walking towards the desk. Gritting her teeth, Mabel spun and marched towards the door. "You made a deal!" Doctor Moriau snapped.

"I'm not leaving," Mabel insisted, "I'm going outside for air."

"What guarantee is there that you'll-"

Mabel cut off the doctor with a loud snap. "Fine!" she spun, and turned to Waddles, who had been following her. "Pal, play with Edward, okay?" she asked the pig. Waddles nodded with a low snort, and approached the Chupacabra. "I'm not leaving without my piggy," Mabel assured them with a strong, warning look.

This assuaged the doctor, who sighed, rolled her eyes, and continued to behind her desk, gathering supplies and various equipment. She then turned and moved towards another doorway, which automatically slid opened, and the woman stormed away into a darker space.

"I will remain with your ovine friend," Edward said.

"Okay. Play nice with him," Mabel pointed to the monster, who nodded hastily.

The hallway that lead away from the main space was just as bland, but more dirty. Specks of dust and stone scattered the ground up until the point where Mabel turned a corner and saw the door itself. The moment she turned, now feet from it, it opened automatically. Interior light flooded the side of a hill, and Mabel saw the vast Texas wilderness before her. Stars above and dry trees around her, she sighed and sat down in the doorway.

Looking to her fist, which she held to her eyes, she noticed a few rough patches of skin. "Oops," she giggled, and plucked off the loose, but un-bloodied, skin from her arm. "So that's what Arline meant," Mabel sighed, tossing the skin aside. "Tougher without ever knowing it. Weird."

The image of her mast flooded into her mind again. The last time she saw her, along with another important person in her life- Stanley Pines. The doors of that secret science lab beneath the shack close shut to the elevators, leaving Mabel and her friends and brother to ascend to the shack, or Manor. She had... smiled.

Mabel curled her legs up, placing them under her sweater as she gripped them tightly. She was alone now. Her brother, Wendy, and Soos were away, presumably looking for her and Waddles. In the past near week, she had come close to having a time like this, alone to her thoughts. She could clear her head. She could let out.

It was just too much. The pain, anger, fear: the clouded emotions that mixed together and festered in her mind ate at her confidence. They were up against the end of the world now, just like they had been with Stanford and Bill those years ago. There was no more Stanley to help them. The town was gone forever. Their parents were running for their lives, and Mabel and Dipper had no permanent home to go to.

Pulling the large material over her head, Mabel slipped herself into her aptly-named 'sweatertown'.

Under the soft, maybe a little-to-warm-for-summer fabric, Mabel let her mind fly away into the forbidden realms of her mind. She thought sadly, wallowing in the finality of the fates for those who had been in Gravity Falls. They never died because they never existed now. If there was a heaven or hell, they couldn't even go there. Afterlife required you to have ever been alive. There was, as far as she could see, no possible way to ever change what had happened.

"It's not fair," she whimpered, her lip trembling as she grabbed her knees, thinking on the town itself, "the people just wanted to be left alone. They didn't care about all that crazy stuff."

A warm voice floated into her head, and a friendly smile spoke to her.

'_The people chose to fight rather than flee_,' the imaginary voice of Zander Maximillion reminded her in her head, '_when presented with the choice, they would rather risk the end than lose their home_.'

Mabel blew a raspberry. "Sorry imaginary voice of Zander. I'm kind of not feeling like a pep-talk."

'_Mabel_,' the softening tone said, '_had the roles been flipped, you been the cute hick townsfolk, and they the rescuer, would you have done any differently?_'

She bit her lip, and rolled her eyes. "...No, I guess not. Darn you for being not only stupidly attractive but also reasonable."

'_It makes these internal sessions of yours very easy to flirt with_,' the voice explained, '_after all, I couldn't reasonably say no to someone as cute as you?_'

She giggled. "Oh, you flirt. I wish you were traveling with us. You always know what to do."

"Say what, hambone?"

Mabel's head popped out of her sweater. The doorway had a visitor directly above her. Head poking out, and looking exhausted, was none other than the handyman of the Mystery Manor.

"Soos!" Mabel gasped, quickly standing up from her seat. With a struggle and near collapse to the ground, Soos slowly lowered himself into the doorway, landing before her. His breathing was shallow and his eyes glistened with tears. "Are you okay?" she asked. Then her ribs and arms bent inward as he reached over, grabbing her tightly and clenching her with one of the hardest hugs she had ever received. "Ack! Soos! Owie!" she crowed out with a highly constricted voice.

"I thought it had eaten you!" Soos whimpered as he loosened his grip, but not letting up. "I couldn't keep up with you Mabel! Everyone was looking for you but I couldn't let you down! I have to protect you, and I've failed that again dawg! And poor Waddles could be-"

"Soos," Mabel pushed herself out, her hands on Soos's arms, "I'm fine. Waddles is fine. Everything is chill now."

Sniffling, Soos looked to her with a growing smile. "It is, dawg?"

"Yes," Mabel nodded. Then she shrugged. "Kinda." She hummed. "Mostly fine."

"I still heard fine at the end there," Soos pointed out. The two laughed, tension in the air dissipating with each chuckle.

"How did you find me?" Mabel asked. "I thought I was eaten by the earth itself or some crazy mojo." Soos turned and looked to the outside meadow. Mabel tilted her head as well, and there she saw the flooded light and the long, deep shadows they cast. "Ah. Yeah. That'd do it I bet."

"I thought the Chupacabra was about to sneak onto his secret space-ship," Soos explained, "and so I was thinking, you know, maybe if I jumped onto him I could get him down and keep him down while I waited for the others to show up."

"Not a bad idea," Mabel nodded.

"But you're okay?" Soos asked with excitement.

"Yeah," Mabel nodded. She then rocked her head side to side, "Ehhh, just okay." She cringed when she remembered the Doctor inside, "bleh. More complicated.

"Complicated?"

"Yeah. Like Dipper found something," she spoke using her best Dipper impression, " and 'it's too hard to explain now so just follow me and I'll explain along the way' sort of complicated."

"Whoa," Soos gasped, a hand on his chest, "do you mean to say that the Chupacabra is actually a homeless divine saint who is thwarting the efforts of a rising regime of evil goat overlords who are intending to destroy world government and-"

"Okay, not that complicated," Mabel shook her head. "Although, that does sound like Dipper's problems. Goat overlords, I mean."

"Well, it can't be that bad," Soos said.

"Well, yeah. Waddles is safe. I'm..." she glance to her arm where the shot was used, "in pain, but okay. So, it's like..." her words trailed off, a long, drawn out breath that found no syllables. For once, she actually understood why Dipper couldn't explain there and then. "Maybe it's easier if I just show you. C'mon," she waved him inside.

"Uh," Soos stepped back, his hands up, "not to, uh, be nervous or anything, but aren't we walking into the spaceship of the Chupacabra? He could zap us with lasers and plasmas."

"Nah," Mabel shook her head, "he's harmless."

"I dunno. I think a few goats resting in peace kind thing differently," Soos argued quietly.

"Soos," Mabel smiled, "trust me?"

With a heavy sigh and long look, Soos took several forward shuffles. The doors closed behind him, and Mabel turned, leading him down the hallway.

Soos gasped the moment he was in the room. "Wow! For an Alien, he sure uses a lot of similar technology to us. I wonder if this is proof that all we've discovered has actually been re-versed engineered from aliens in the past."

"Soos, the Chupacabra isn't an alien," Mabel said.

"Of course he is," Soos assured her.

"I'm not," Edward the Chupacabra said from the shadows, where Waddles leaned against one of his legs.

"See?" Mabel pointed.

Soos spun about. the Moment his vision locked onto the Chupacabra, he yelled, and ran to the desk, where a stool rest. Lifting it above his head, he bellowed. "Revenge for Waddles! For goats everywhere!"

"Soos!" Mabel stepped in front of him as Edward cringed, leaning away from Soos against the wall. "He's not going to hurt us!"

"But he'll drink your pig's blood!" Soos proclaimed, still holding the chair above his head.

"Only if I go feral," Edward proclaimed.

"The Chupacabra is actually a person who got experimented on by crazed German scientists to make a fusion between vampire and werewolf," Mabel explained.

Soos, holding the chair above his head, slowly blinked. After a moment, he nodded. "You may continue."

"With the held of this jerky doctor lady, who really hasn't said why she wants to help him," Mabel added with a frown, "they've been trying to find a cure. Except with the crazed werewolf stuff, the Chupacabra goes and eats animals every once in a while. Each time someone finds them, they up and move."

"I see," Soos said, still holding up the chair.

"So now they're here, and since I was a werewolf," Mabel pointed to her arm, where a tiny pin-point sized blot of red blossomed, "they're going to use my blood to save him. Hopefully turn him back into a boy or whatever."

"Actually," Edward spoke up, "I'm twenty eight years old."

"Eh," Mabel cringed, "not helping."

Soos lowered the stool, and placed it behind him, and took a seat. "So, he's actually a human with two paranormal things to deal with at the same time, and we're going to help him."

"We're trading my blood for that," Mabel pointed to the collar, and then the stone in specific. "The doctor who's helping him uses that stone to see where he is!"

"A starkissed stone," Soos gasped.

"You both know what this is?" Edward asked.

"It's mostly because we kind of have to save the world," Soos shrugged.

Edward the Chupacabra blinked. Slowly looking to Mabel, he chuckled. "You were telling the truth about that the entire time, or you have friends as crazy as you."

Mabel winked. "The answer is both!"

"Well, I'm convinced," Soos sighed.

"Really?" Mabel cheered.

"Mabel, you have the best character judgment of all of us," Soos smiled and nodded, "and if you think that this is going to help us, and this dude here," he grinned to the Chupacabra, "then I say we do it, dawg."

"Yes!" Mabel hooted, "and just in case, Waddles is okay with him too!" she said, as Waddles gave a small oink.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "I enjoy the company of-" his words faltered, and he whipped his head towards the hallway leading outside. He stood up on all fours as his lips curled back and he began to snarl.

"Uh, what is it?" Mabel asked.

A thunder of footsteps echoed from the hallway, and emerging through in a rush was seven people. Dipper, Wendy, and the cast of the N.P.P.P. slid inside, and quickly saw those present.

"Mabel!" Dipper gasped, slapping his journal shut and pocketing it hastily.

"Nice one, Dipper," Adam clapped his back, "didn't think that'd actually work."

"There it is!" Wendy gasped, pointing to Edward the Chupacabra as it barked at them. Wendy darted forward, preparing a heavy swing against the tall beast. "Get away from that pig!" she yelled. Edward side-stepped her, and slashing at her back, tearing at the leather jacket. As Wendy slid to a stop, feeling her back, she cried out. "Really!? Again!?"

"Get him!" Marcus shouted, and he, Adam, Geoffrey, and Luke rushed forward with Dipper, while Ben tripped on his own feet.

"Dudes, it's all cool!" Soos tried calling out, but the struggle had already begun.

"Guys! Wait!" Mabel shouted, and she intercepted her brother, catching his arm and pulling him to her.

"Mabel, whatever you thought you saw-" Dipper started.

"Dipper," she cut in, "the Chupacabra isn't a bad guy!" Mabel declared.

"Not the time for being easy on the monster," Dipper scolded her.

"He's a werewolf-vampire hybrid who's-"

Luke flew over their heads, landing against the wall with a thud. Aside from the clear impact with the wall, he was otherwise fine, and stumbled up, and shouted as he charged back into the fray.

"Mabel," Dipper growled, "later!"

Mabel tried grabbing him again, but she was bumped aside as Ben ran into her and fell aside as well. "Ouch!" he gasped as he fell onto the ground, his glasses falling aside. "No! No! Prescription! Come back!"

Mabel stood up quickly as Ben crawled after his glasses. She looked to Soos, who had taken the chair, and held it out as a shield. She could have sworn that he was holding it in the same way that Soos had when he was a paladin briefly while playing Strongholds and Serpents. Regardless of his cool-factor, she turned from Soos and stared at the combat. Dipper and Wendy made a tag-team effort with the N.P.P.P, slowly withering the strength of the huge creature, as Waddles ran around them in panic. It was an absolute mess.

Then the door to the hallway opened, and Mabel and Soos saw Doctor Moriau step out, holding out a device in her hands. She wore a pair of military grade night-vision goggles across her face, and with a snarl she shouted aloud.

"Leave him alone!" she cried, and clicked the button in her palm.

Mabel had no chance to rush her or react. Every light in the compound shut off, and all that was heard were the cries of panic and fear.

"Crud! Dipper, do you see it?!" Wendy's voice cried out. **Whack**. "Gah!"

"I thought he was right here!" Dipper called. **Wham**. "Ow!"

"Anyone seen Ben!?" Geoffrey of the N.P.P.P. shouted. **Slam**. "Oof!"

"Guys! I can see even less than normal! Anyone seen my," Ben's voice paused, "... oh, thank you, whoever that was. I was afraid I'd loose them." **Bam**. "Uggh..."

Mabel stood, petrified in the darkness, waiting for her turn to come. She couldn't see a thing, yet the auditory evidence was more than enough: Edward was proving to be a terrible foe in pitch darkness. Three more solid hits leveled the crowd, and Mabel tensed up, her arms up before her, ready to block whatever my come her way.

Yet nothing came.

An eternity of sorrowful groans, gasps, and cries of panic fluttered through the darkness until Mabel blinked as the bright lights returned. She was exactly as she had been previously, along with Soos. All the others, including Wendy and Dipper, had been tossed into the same cage that Mabel had woken up inside.

"What?!" Mabel gasped, "just them?"

"You and... whoever this person is," the doctor glared at Soos while those in the cage slowly began to stand up, having been physically tossed inside by Edward.

"Name's Soos," the handyman nodded, "rhymes with goose."

The doctor blinked. "Uh... you and Soos were the only ones who remained neutral. I must keep Edward safe, and if that means locking them here until the cure is discovered-"

"But how long could that take?" Mabel butted in.

"I don't know. It could take a moment. Hours. Days? Years?"

"I don't even have hours to spare!" Mabel cried out, "I need those guys to save the world-" she glanced to the cage, "well, mostly just the guy who looks like me and the red-head. Less so on the others."

"Thanks, Mabel," Luke grumble.

"I will not risk those fool's freedoms for his safety!" Doctor Moriau.

"Lady," Geoffrey said, standing closest to the gates with Dipper and Wendy, "that creature, the Chupacabra, I don't know if you have been brainwashed, but the alien is dangerous!"

"Edward is not an alien!" she shrieked at them. "Seriously," she turned about, asking the room at large, "who started that rumor!? There's no basis in the evidence that Edward left behind to assume it could have ever been extraterrestrials!"

"Maybe real aliens," Soos suggested. "They pointed the blame at him so the real one's didn't get noticed."

"It doesn't matter," Geoffrey rolled his eyes, "you need to stop whatever you think you're doing for it's safety, and help us turn it in."

"So we can get a camera crew to follow us again," Marcus added.

"Dawgs, why don't we all just talk for a second, right?" Soos asked.

"Yeah!" Mabel exclaimed, "Doctor Moriau," Mabel said, stepping between the doctor and her friends and brother with Soos, "I'll represent my side of this debacle."

"We're doomed already," Dipper mumbled.

"Shut it," Mabel smacked his fingers on the bars. "My friends, the North Pacific Paranormal People, want the evidence of the Chupacabra. That way they can get funded by the television channel 'Watch People Go To Places' or maybe just enough money to go home."

"We'd rather be celebrities again," Luke pointed out.

"My friends, brother, and I," Mabel pointed to herself, "are looking for that stone. With it, we can do something to stop the world from drowning in magic."

"Yes, I recall our little chat," Moriau sniffed.

"We don't want anyone else to be hurt," Soos added. The chupacabra snorted. "Not really," he assured Edward.

"And you can't keep everyone locked up forever," Mabel reminded her.

Doctor Moriau gave a bark of a laugh. "I wouldn't. While I work on the cure with your blood sample, they would serve as food for-"

"No!" Edward yelled.

"I-I was kidding," she promised.

"Maybe," Mabel stepped closer to the doctor, "it could help my friends and brother understand if you explained to them what you explained to me."

"Huh?" The doctor blinked.

"The story of Edward. Why you're doing this," Mabel stated.

"Ah," the Doctor cleared her throat, looking to Edward behind her. "Um, I suppose I could... re-tell it... again," she bumbled through her words.

"Well? No shame in explaining what's really going on," Mabel encouraged.

The doctor stepped forward, and het wringing hands slowed to a stop. Finally, she locked them behind her back and stood at attention before the crowd. Mabel leaned to Soos and nudged his ribs. "This is crazy stuff she's telling." He nodded, and they both listened.

"Long ago, in the year nineteen eighty seven," the doctor began to describe mystically.

"Man, that's ancient history," Adam murmured.

"in the horrible setting of a top-secret underground base run by evil Russian scientists, a young boy was subjected to many hideous experi-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Mabel stepped in, her hands in the air, and she put them together to make a 'T' shape. "Time-out."

"Mabel, you asked her to tell a story. Stop interrupting," Dipper grumbled.

"And I wouldn't be, except that's not what she said before," Mabel said, looking at the woman.

"I- uh- yes it is," Doctor Moriau shakily argued.

"Oh yeah?" Mabel said, crossing her arms, "mad German scientists weren't the culprits? Fine. How about the reason the 'Russian' scientists were doing this to begin with?"

Doctor Moraiu rolled her eyes and sighed. "Yes, okay, I remember now. It was actually German scientists who were bent on creating the ultimate vaccine to cure all ailments and change-"

"You changed that part too!" Mabel barked, thrusting an accusatory finger at the doctor.

"Shoot," Doctor Moriau grumbled, looking to Edward, "I've never had to keep a consistent story. What did I say again?"

Edward sighed. "Why not the truth this time, mom?"

Mabel's mouth dropped open as the gang behind her gasped. Soos chuckled.

"Wow, now that's a story I'd pay money to figure out," he said, "but seriously, let's hear this one. I want popcorn for this."

"No," Doctor Moriau shakily said to the Chupacabra, "the truth is only for us. Other's can use it against us."

"I'm tired of running," Edward whined. "All I want is a chance for people to... get it finally."

The doctor turned back to Mabel, her eyes shimmering with doubt and fear. No less than a dozen worrying thoughts crossed her mind before she spoke. When she did, the vast confidence in behind her voice had left her.

"Edward and I are related. I _am_ his mother," Doctor Moriau decidedly said, holding her hands and squeezing them nervously, "long ago...nearly twenty five years ago, Edward was playing in the woods nearby our home. We lived in Canada, you see."

"Oh!" Mabel gasped. "It was evil _Canadian_ scientists! The most polite of evil science experimenters!"

"Would you-" Doctor Moriau hissed and outstretched her arms threateningly. As Mabel nodded and fell silent, Edward stepped out.

"It was my fault. I wandered into the woods. They were always scary. People though monsters lived in there. Bird-people, giant bears, were-moose... instead, there was a vampire in the early afternoon moping around."

"It chased Edward out of the woods, and tried to drain him of blood. I was able to save him before it ran off, but I saw he had been bitten," Moriau looked to the beast next to her, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I had to do something. I couldn't allow my son to succumb to the powers of one, stupid, supernatural creature. So, as the disease took hold of my boy, I toiled over everything. Every know cure and responder to what samples of his blood I could find. In the end, I found a source- the stone in his neck," she pointed to the collar.

"A starkissed," Dipper gasped.

"That thing you guys were talking about," Marcus mentioned.

"It... fell from the sky," she said, "right when I was giving up hope. I'm not much of a believer in coincidences, so I tried to look at it. When I touched it, I saw visions of what could save him, or so I thought. Werewolf antibodies: stronger and more resilient than human ones."

"That's what actually happened?" Mabel gasped, "you injected your own son with werewolf DNA stuff to stop a vampire curse!?"

"Not DNA, no," Moriau murmured.

"That's mad!" Ben gasped.

"How was that a good idea?!" Mabel demanded.

"I was desperate!" the doctor screamed. Mabel flinched, taking a step back into Soos, who held his ground despite loudly swallowing. Doctor Moriau continued, her fury and exhaustion playing a role in her speech. "I watched my son fret the sunlight! He couldn't go to school and slowly was overcome with cabin-fever. He would attack animals and then cry about what he had done. He was tortured with what he was becoming!"

"Mom, please," Edward quietly said, extending his pawed hands to her now.

"I stopped his photo-sensitivity. He no longer changes in-between forms of human and animal. Instead, I made my son into a half-man, half-dog blood sucker," Moriau moaned, and put her forearm to her eyes. Her voice becoming raspy, she added, "I've just wanted, more than anything, to help my son so he can be happy again."

"You don't need to explain," Edward sighed.

"I thought science would be the key," she explained, dropping her forearm to expose her red eyes.

"Well, maybe you should try Magic?" Dipper suggested with a chuckle. Mabel spun around and poked him in the eye. "Ow!"

"Not helpful," she warned him as she turned back. Facing the doctor, she grumbled. "But I don't understand. Why all this effort to cure him?"

"W-what do you mean?" the doctor asked.

"Well," Mabel shrugged, "is he sick?"

"He's a hybrid between werewolves and vampires!" Moriau barked, "I'd call that sick!"

"Is in danger of being hurt or dying because of what he is!?" Mabel refined. The doctor paused, and shook her head. "So... then... why try so hard to cure him?"

"Because he's not comfortable with what he is," she said.

"Really? Twenty five years of being himself, fuzzy and glowing red eyes," Mabel walked over to the two, a hand on Edward's long arm, "and he's still uncomfortable?"

"Well, certainly," Moriau declared. Yet, as Mabel studied the two of them, she saw Edward shift noisily. The mom noticed, and she turned, looking to her altered son. "Eddy?" he said nothing, instead looking at her with his wide, red eyes. "What is it? You're not telling me something."

"Mom, I'm... I've been like this longer than I've been a normal human," Edward the Chupacabra snorted. "I've been used to this for a while." His mother gasped, holding her hands to her mouth.

"You... never said," she whispered.

"Between trying to handle the times when we were running between South America and the USA, and trying to control my urges, I couldn't find the time to sit down with you... and you've always tried so hard," Edward pleaded.

"Doctor," Mabel stepped between the two of them, "you've been trying to cure him, but... even though you've been with him for so long, so many years of this crazy hide and seek game, you've forgotten about being his mom."

"No!" she gasped, pushing past her, and pulling her son's elongated chin to her shoulder, patting his head, "No. I've never forgotten. Everything I've ever done with this was for him."

With his considerable size and strength, Edward pulled back, looking her in the eyes. "I just wanted my mom with me, not Doctor Moriau and her super-experiments."

Sniffling, Doctor Moriau nodded. "I may... I may have been a poor parent, but I've never stopped loving you. Even if you've changed from human, you've always been my son."

"Mom," Edward quietly said, and wrapped his arms around her, leaning in for a large, fuzzy hug with his mother. Mabel stepped back, smiling with a wide, more than pleased smile.

"And that, Soos," Mabel said, "is how you get it done."

"You're telling me," Soos nodded. "But theory time- do you think Doctor Moriau _is_ the crazy Canadian scientist?"

While shaken, and not entirely certain to how it was Mabel had secured their release, the N.P.P.P. along with Dipper and Wendy were eventually escorted out of the facility. While Dipper had made several attempts to bargain for evidence of Edward's existence, Mabel was quick to shoot him down- ready to fulfill the contract she made with the Doctor. Soos lead them out, and finally it was just the four- Waddles, Edward, Mabel, and the doctor.

"You were honest. Strange and weird, but honest," Moriau admitted as she removed the stone from the collar, only to lay it in Mabel's outstretched hand. "For that, you more than deserve a fair treatment in this exchange."

"Aww, thanks Doctor mom," Mabel smiled, pocketing the mystical stone. "You know, I think having a werewolf-vampire hybrid for a son can't be that bad. Imagine all the things he can lift for you!"

"Imagine the vacuuming during summer," Doctor Moriau leaned in and joked with Mabel. The two ladies guffawed in a quick chuckle.

"Well, I hope you find that cure, Edward," Mabel sighed. "I know how fuzzy it is to be a wolf-thing. Can't say much about being a vampire, but I imagine it has it's perks."

"And downsides," Edward nodded, "but I'm adapted. Even if your blood didn't give us the cure, it... well... you coming around gave me my mom back." Moriau rubbed his neck affectionately and he smiled.

"Well, I think it's time we left you guys to your own. And trust us," Mabel said as she started walking backwards, "when we say we know how to keep a secret, trust me: our family is the ultimate secret keepers! We sometimes know secrets we don't even _know_ are secrets, and we still don't tell people them!" she promised, and the family laughed. "C'mon buddy," she asked the pig, who squealed and trotted after her.

Turning away while waving, Mabel and Waddles followed out of the hallway. Exiting the doorway into the night, she was met by the group.

"That stuff really hit him, though," Adam sighed as he sat on the hill.

"Tell me about it," Marcus said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Aww, you guys getting all emotional because we saved a family today?" Mabel cooed.

"It just made us kind of think," Geoffrey quietly said, "why it was we really wanted to become paranormal investigators. You know," he said, looking up to the stars, "the five of us always loved that kind of adventure. Looking for ghosts, evidence of the afterlife, aliens from other worlds, alternate dimensions. Just... somewhere along the way, we got the idea that we could be 'cooler than cool' about it."

"Hence those horrible ankle-length jackets and sunglasses you guys used to wear," Wendy reminded them. "By the way, do you still have one or two on you? My new on got shredded with that fight."

As Luke nodded, Geoffrey continued. "We used to just want to have fun. Explore. Really do what it was we liked. Instead we chose to do what we thought people expected from us," Geoffrey grumbled, looking to his friends, who stared back.

"Then, I don't know," Ben adjusted his glasses nervously, "we should call it quits on being celebrities?"

"Aww, I was still hoping I could get a kiss from a famous chick," Luke whined.

"If you had to pick one over the other," Soos asked him, "kiss or chasing the paranormal-"

"Easy. Chasing, any day," Luke shrugged.

"I propose," Marcus looked to his companions, "we're done. Let's just go home now. Be us again. Not the stupid 'North Pacific Paranormal People', just us."

"Aww, the N.P.P.P. was starting to grow on me," Wendy chuckled. When the five stared at her, she rolled her eyes, and added, "being sarcastic here."

"You guys always wanted to have people acknowledge you as being cool," Mabel explained, "but in the end, maybe you just needed to acknowledge it yourself."

At that point, Geoffrey gave a hacking cough. "Ugh! That's waaay too much for me. No more of this 'after-school special' crud. I'm okay figuring out that we were wrong trying to make what we like cool rather than just doing what we like, but throwing a moral like that just makes me really want to be a jerk again."

"Well, if you ever do decide to be a jerk again," Mabel added, "just know that once I punched a fireball out of the sky with my bare fists. You have been warned."

"Wait, when did that happen?" Wendy asked.

"Don't worry, Mabel," Geoffrey smirked, and extended a hand, "we'll call you guys the moment we start getting ideas that we need to have fame in order to be happy. You can take us out on another one of these insane adventures again, okay?" Mabel nodded, and shook the hand.

"Only if you're up to it. Got to keep up with us younger, spryer folk," Mabel winked.

"In the mean time, we'll just, I dunno," he turned to the others, "steal enough gas to get back to Portland? Maybe smuggle ourselves onto a plane? We'll manage."

The doors behind them slid open, and Edward the Chupacabra stepped out. As the nine plus pig stared at the monster, Ed ripped off a cluster of hair from his shoulder, and then handed it to the closest of the former N.P.P.P. "As a souvenir, Chupacabra hair. Just don't lead them back to my mom." He departed back inside, and they were shrouded once again in darkness.

An hour later, the gang had finally said their goodbyes to the North Pacific Paranormal People. Deciding to gain as much reward money for discovering samples of hair belonging to a rare cryptic species, they would be soon turning their eyes back to Oregon, and to the cooler airs of the north. Meanwhile, the gang was already packing back into their rooms. Wendy took to patrolling around the motel and the block it was on.

"Watching you guys sleep? Not really my thing," she had said before calmly pacing off.

As Mabel and Waddles took to the bed and Dipper to the Floor, Soos emerged from the bathroom, a robe around his freshly cleaned body.

"Man. These days get crazy fast, don't they?" he asked them.

"Sure do!" Mabel grinned as Waddles lied down next to her.

"It's still weird to think that this isn't Gravity Falls," Dipper sighed. "I feel like had we come to this city before all this happened, the most we would have seen about the Chupacabra would have been stories. Instead, we met, solved, and answered the mystery all in one night."

"Heck yeah you guys did," Soos chuckled, "man, thank goodness you guys are around."

"Huh?" Mabel laughed, "why's that?"

"Well, I really wasn't all that helpful, was I?" Soos asked with a chuckle.

"Soos, don't be like that," Mabel blew a raspberry.

"Yeah," Dipper smiled, "everyone's got their helpful ways."

"Like Dipper!" Mabel cheered, and his eyes grew wide. "He may still be learning, but he's getting better and better at the paths each day! Who needs magic when you can just punch people down into submission until they become your friends?"

"Uh... right," Dipper chuckled in a high-pitch.

"Well, anyway," Soos said, tucking himself into his bed sheets, "see you dudes tomorrow."

"Night Soos."

"Night buddy!"

"Oink!"

As he pulled the light switch off, Soos pleasant smile was wiped away from his mouth in an instant. He felt much more than just slightly useless. Mabel had been magnificent this night, and he had merely chased after her, unable to keep in pace, or even help once he had caught up.

It wasn't fair. He could remember the times when he knew he was needed. When people wanted and felt that they needed him around. He never felt so obsolete as he did without the Mystery Manor. He was constantly patching up the falling apart building with expert choice and money-saving ways. When Yuki came in the picture, even though the Alien had grand methods to improving electrical appliances, Soos was the best teacher to explaining human tendencies. He was the one slowly educating him on how to acclimate to their societies.

He could see the shack now, drifting off into sleep. Just as it always had been. Sunny, or rainy, or cloudy... his best home. In that vision, he was there, walking towards the front doors. His hand reached out for the handle, so he could step inside, something he could only do in his dreams and memories.

"Adorable," a cool, soft, yet deep sophisticate voice echoed out.

Soos yelped and turned about. He rubbed his eyes. Yet as he lowered his hands, he saw it. A shape floating down from the sky towards him. An outline of silver. The soft blue of a sea. A single eye. Wide blue hat with three flowers colored of gold, iron, and cobalt sat atop a flat top to a triangular figure. Held above the top of the flat top, a noodly arm suspended a wide, lacy victorian umbrella that matched style with the worn hat.

The figure, landed before Soos, and recalled the arms of the umbrella. Laying it atop one of the top corners of the upside-down triangle, the being before Soos cleared her throat.

"Hello Soos. I have been called Kelly," the cool, deep voice spoke kindly to him, "I understand that you're looking into your memories. Good thing, or else I may not have been able to speak with you," she said. "But enough about _this_ past," she shook her body as one would shake her head, "lets talk about a better past for you _now_."

Soos gasped and bolted up in his bed.

It was in the dead of night.

The twins were fast asleep. Only Waddles turned his head to look towards him.

Soos slowly reclined back into his bed. It had all been a dream. He was just having a weird dream about Bill Cipher as a crazy old-school victorian triangle. It was just a weird hunger induced dream.

At least, that's what he lied himself to sleep with.

* * *

Let's all take a moment, and give a respectful bow to the end of the real love.

Farewell, Gravity Falls. You were the best ride a kids cartoon has ever given me in my long years on Planet Earth, and you will be missed sorely. Thank you.

AAAHHHH who am I kidding, they totally left that ending up for a new season. C'mon. But at least for me, I got to see how far off I was on some things, and how correct I was on others. (for example, spoiler alert, what happens in THIS version between Ford and Stan is different. But don't worry. Time will tell you many secrets.) So here's hoping that one day Gravity Falls will have a second series. Until then, start getting those soundtracks together. (well, at least I'm trying to. :p)

So in these weeks ahead, where we can no longer look forward to the updates on Disney, which will provide us much love and laughs, we must rely on each other.

Another farewell. This time, to the nutty N.P.P.P. They were among my first real considered OC's that wouldn't be a perma-villain (COUGH COUGH Graupner), and now I wash my hands clean of them. The representation of youthful paranormal investigators is now beyond my control. Unless I say so otherwise in the future.

Lastly... say hi, Kelly. ;)

(A huge Bill Cipher stone statue crushes EZB, and his computer and desk, into the ground, which just so happens to be in the middle of the woods.)

* * *

Graupner Kinley watched the progress continue up the hill, even in the dead of the night. It was not a freezing midnight, but the cooler air would make it harder for those still out in the cliffs and suspensions. Yet their construction was not what made him impatient.

He was awaiting the smallest of things. A simple update. All he had to do was wait here. Alvis would return.

His eye and red stone shone deep into the reflective window before him. As he stared, the unfettered thoughts he held close to him began to compile, one over another. None of his words in his mind stuttered, or stammered, or jumbled up. It was perfect clarity. If only he could find the way to remove the enchantment Steindorf had placed onto him those many years ago. He could remove the curse, and use his words to his advantage again. He, Graupner Kinley, could be the one cursing. At least at his fullest.

No, instead, he stared at his sullen, dark shadowed eye and the black pit that was his eye with a single red crystal. Watching it spin in place, function even better than a human eye ever could, he pondered it's look.

Accidentally speaking, he said, "Maybe g-green rocks will look better."

The doors behind him opened, and he spun around.

Stepping inside and looking worn and tired, but excited and proud, was Alvis Leuthar.

"Well?" Graupner asked.

Alvis swallowed hard, and nodded. "She found them. Texas. Her bet is they'll be moving eastward. I already have a calculated path to where next we may cut them off. If you'd like, I can set up a new detachment. Would you be ready in-"

The light behind the red stone flashed, and Alvis stalled his words. Graupner sneered as his lips parted wide with sadistic glee. "I'm ready _now_."

* * *

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	75. Bighair V Bigfoot: Part 1

When the still, thick air of the bayou is let alone to speak, it shall chatter. Insects and gulls and varieties of creatures buzz and blare and cry out in a cacophonous chorus of chaotic orchestra. The thick vegetation only hid the thousands upon thousands of small critters and vermin that would elevate the dark, inhospitable landscape into something truly breathtaking. The natural beauty and (often times) dread that these wildscapes would create brought biologists and wildlife researchers alike to these fauna factories. Time itself would be hard pressed to make another such-

"Fire in the hole!"

A dozen trees erupted in center as a barrage of dynamite was set off simultaneously. Sprays of wooden shrapnel and mulch flew left and right, showering the damp earth with fresh, warm, slowly dying wood. Each with a loud and wet 'thump', the trees came crashing down.

When the echoes of the blast faded into the distance, a gaggle of construction men stood up from several sand-bag bunkers, and approached the wreckage. Construction equipment and tractors began to beep in warning as they approached behind the workers, metal claws ready to drag away the now defeated swamp-vegetation.

"Sir!" one man stepped away from the construction, speaking into "We're making more progress with the explosives."

By a truck, some two hundred feet away, a tall, rounded and red-cheeked man with a straw hat lifted the walkie-talkie in his hand. "Excellent work, Mister Jones. The contract seems to be going smoothly."

"Sir," the construction man grumbled, "it's safe to come closer. I'd like to speak to you at a less discrete distance."

"I learn from my past mistakes, Barnaby," Bud Gleeful retorted, "and the last time I had been committed to infrastructure appliance like this, my hand was taken from me before I could even fold."

"What does that even mean?" the man asked.

"Never you mind," Bud rolled his eyes.

"You just want to be closer to the officers nearby," the construction man noted.

"They are a warm safety that I had previously neglected. Not a utility I shall regret not using again," Gleeful adjusted his hat. "Now, unless there is something significant, Mister Jones, I have an update to the commissioner."

The construction man, Barnaby Jones, growled. "Why do you insist we call him that?"

"I'm sorry, was that a pay-deductable statement I heard?" Bud teased a warning.

The worker gulped. "N-No. Just... I'll get right back to work."

As the distant man spun around and began shouting to his co-workers, Bud Gleeful stepped to the side door of a long black limousine that he had previously leant upon. Once inside, he sighed, fanning his face with his hat. Sweat saturated the lining of his clothing, and he adjust the collar of his neck. A small whistle dangled on his chest, and after a moment, he adjusted the strap to sit less on the back of his neck.

"Some air would be nice," he snapped ahead, and the distant driver sighed. A switch was flicked, and cold air blew itself on the backseat, and Bud was sated. "Much better," he mumbled.

After a relaxing moment, the portly man reached inside his pants pocket, adjust to better leverage out the thin metal device tucked away. Once in his hand and out before him, he quickly dialed away, and pressed it to the side of his face.

A shrill voice for a man answered, full of attitude and disregard for the caller. Full of southern twang, it asked, "Yes, father?"

"Gideon, the company you've hired here is getting work done, finally," Bud explained. "The dynamite provided is more than efficient at cutting down those trees that had all the men spooked for some darn reason."

"You aught know the power of one superstition," the voice replied with authority, "the minds of lesser people often dictate that which they can't understand to higher a callin'."

"It wasn't a god they were afraid of, boy," Bud admitted.

"Oh, what? Lizardman? Aliens? Curses?" the voice listed off unceremoniously.

"Swamp-Ape," Bud snarled.

The voice laughed. "You're kiddin' me? Swamp-Ape! Hah! What a hoot!"

"Gideon, they been awfully afraid of these swamps since we started the new highway construction."

"Let 'em be afraid," Gideon Gleeful's voice echoed back, "fear is a motivator, but also a blessing. If we can capture their small, simple-minded fear and twist it against the source, we can turn the balance into our favor."

"You really think that'll happen, boy?" Bud asked, his face wide with awe.

"If not, I bought some police officers to watch the construction, just in case," Gideon's voice dismissed.

Bud opened his mouth to comment, but the car jolted. He turned his attention forward, to the driver. "What on earth you doin' up there? Park this car already, Fernando!" The man ahead, however, was gaping at the side-window facing the construction, demolition, and deforestation. "Fernando! Dang it, if you're ignoring me again-"

Bud only then realized that the jolting of the car was less of sudden movements and more of an on-going rattle. The earth, much to his distress, was shaking.

"Gideon, I gotta go," bug stammered.

"Father, what on earth-"

"Trouble is rearing it's ugly head again!" Bud worriedly cried as he turned the phone call off and stuffed it into his pocket hastily. When he stepped outside, and his eyes drank the scene some two hundred feet ahead of him, he rubbed his face. Scrubbing his eyes of what surely must have been a heat-induced hallucination, he blinked and looked again.

They were still there.

All five of the towering animals, some seven feet tall or taller. Wide shouldered, covered in thick, bristly hairs, they swung their hands around, smacking construction workers aside as they roared and hollered their way closer. While the sight was terrifying as it was hard to believe, Bud listened and could believe even less.

They were speaking.

One lifted a man up with one hand, grasping his collar, and saying, "Now look 'ere, you yellow excuse of a human bein'," the first of five creatures scolded, "I don' wanna see non of your type round here no more."

"Tarn right!" another said, doing a little jump as he kicked out, punting a man five feet away.

"Thought we told your boss to stay clear of our forest!" another roared.

"This here be our land and woods, and we don' like the way you been treatin' 'er!" the one holding the man, with a high-pitched hick drawl tossed the construction crew. As he landed, the big-foot like creature drew in breath in a raspy gasp, and spat by his foot. "That's what I think 'bout you folk when you come a messin' 'bout our lands!"

"Tell 'em, hoss!" a the largest of them encouraged in a deep, booming voice as he spun around rapidly, holding one man in each arm.

Bud stared at the scene, and clapped a hand to his face. "Welp," he shrugged, "glad my boy bought insurance." He drew out the whistle, and with a loud, proud toot, he called in infantry.

Fifteen police officers, armed with tasers and canisters of pepper-spray. Those of the attacking creatures who held onto the construction crew finally dropped them, aware of the coming uniformed men.

"Finally, the police officers are-a comin' to arrest these foul men," the head hauncho Big-foot declared. For the main speaker, three policemen started to beat on him with night-sticks. "Ow! Ow!" he barked. "Tarnation, what are you doing!"

"He's resisting arrest!" one of the men cried, and made a particularly cruel crack across the being's nether-regions. The bigfoot moaned and fell forward, now entirely unaware that the three officers continued to beat down on him.

"Jim-Jo!" a Bigfoot cried out, and made for his friend. Another officer stepped between them, holding up a canister of pepper-spray. "Whazzat?" the Bigfoot asked earnestly, leaning in. The officer pressed down on the trigger, introducing the bigfoot to a world of hurt. "My eyes! I can't see nothing! I feel like there are spiders in my eyes!"

One by one, the five sasquatch entities fell to the police brutality.

Roped together and handcuffed with the largest sets of metal cuffs the cops could find, the five rested against one of the remaining torn up trunks of the exploded trees. There, with red eyes, swollen faces, or static-applied fur, the five looked at their captors.

Bud stepped forward, passing by the officers of re-gathered (and furious) workers, who shouted and hollered at the five captured creatures.

"I should believe to call you five 'Bigfoot'," Bud snarled at them, tapping his foot on the ground. The five gasped and glared at him. "As expected. Under the authority of the current head of operations for this highway construction site, I hereby charge you with disrupting the public proceedings of this state-enforced construction project, and will have you held accountable for your actions."

"What?!" the five shouted.

"We be defendin' our homes!" one snapped. "How's that for dis'ruption when you come a blowin' up our lands!?"

"Officer, arrest these five!" Bud snapped his fingers.

A larger man stepped closer. "You have the right to..." he blinked, "wait, you're not human. I guess you don't have any rights, far as I can tell."

The five sasquatch boo'd and hissed at him. "Yella-Jacket!" one shouted.

"And you will be expected to appear in court for your official trial," the officer stated, his arms folded against his chest.

"Court?" the leader repated. "Oh no," he looked to his accomplishes with trepidation. "Fellas, they want us in some official place!"

"You will be expected to dress formally," the cop continued. The five groaned. "You are expected to arrive on an orderly time," the five moaned in disgust," and finally, you _will_ shower before arriving in any justice's court!"

"NO!" the leader yelled as the others began to bawl. "Shower?! What's this inhuman treatment of your genetic cousins?!"

"Take them away, sir," Bud demanded, waving his hand dismissively to them.

As the fifteen officers lifted up the five Bigfoot and lead them away, the leader turned and snapped to Bud. "This ain't over, you nature-waster!"

"On contraire," Bud sneered, "this is certainly over."

"We will have our homes returned to us!" the leader shouted. "We will our lands given back! We will find proper representation!" he screamed as the doors of the doors of the police cruiser were slammed shut in front of the being's face.

* * *

To say that the gang had chosen a middle-of no where motel in the swamps seemed as 'a bad idea' to Dipper was an understatement. Mabel had assured him that the modern comforts of home could be discovered somewhere in the highly stained and wretched walls and sheets of the rooms they would be staying in. She had attempted to convince him that the lack of any sort of air conditioning was just a blessing in disguise; they could slowly learn to adapt to their new environments. Finally Dipper wouldn't hear it.

"You just want to stay at a place that Waddles would be happy to roll around mud by!" Dipper had snapped at her.

"Well, he is happy," Mabel had replied, smiling as the pink pig did roll around in the muddy earth, giddily snorting and oinking as he did.

Yet the afternoon came and closed fast enough. With the heat and buggy air closing in around them, even Mabel's spirits were draining. The T.V. inside their room was beyond Soos's aid, which to him, meant they were in absolute danger.

"When tech's gone to the point where the power of fixin' it can't be done," Soos explained, "stuff's about to get super real."

To their luck, the only thing super-real that had happened was the expected phone-call. Zander Maximillion, or the Guardsman as his Paths followers called him, was late to communicating with the four. But when he did, it was desperation that the gang answered. Anything new to do or look into would be wonderful.

"The mission!?" Dipper implored.

"How's our familly!?" Mabel called.

"Any news?" Wendy cried.

"Yo!" Soos shouted.

Zander's voice hastily assessed the calls. "Hey guys, and 'yo' Soos. News? Yeah, but it'll have to wait," Zander said in a rushed tone, "being busy and trying to convey notes don't work well. I'll catch you guys up tomorrow."

"Right, 'cus I want to ask-" Wendy followed up.

"Your family is, last I've heard, fine," Zander cut in. Wendy frowned, but said nothing.

"Oh good. I was afraid they had died or-" Mabel said, but she too was cut in.

"Dipper, sorry to say, I haven't been able to actually fine-point the location of the stone in the area."

"Wait, really?" Dipper whined.

"Yeah. I'll say this though," Zander added, "you're close. I have no idea where to start looking again, but if you want more details, you'll have to catch me tomorrow. I'm kind of swamped right now."

"Hah!" Mabel blurted out. "Us too!"

"Zander, what's going on?" Dipper asked. "You never sound... rushed."

"Just trying to keep the world in one piece," he laughed, "you know, average Wednesday."

"But everything is okay, right?" Mabel asked.

"Can't be sure. I have things to look into. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. By the way," Zander added, "any of you had anything weird come up recently?"

"Weird?" Wendy snorted.

"Weirder than normal?" Dipper looked around. His eyes gazed over his sister, who shrugged, Soos, who looked around, and Wendy, who shook her head, and Waddles, who sneezed. "Eh... no?" Dipper guessed.

"Good. Let me know if something comes up," Zander said.

"Why?" Dipper quickly asked.

"Not sure. Got a feeling, that's all. Anyway, I'll call tomorrow, hopefully."

"Wait, that's-" Dipper snapped.

"Seeya guys!" Zander's voice called out, and the phone connection died.

To say that the gang went to bed in a huff was an understatement. The night in the area was just as muggy as the day, but the lack of light only confused the brains of three sleepy travelers, who tossed and turned late into the night. Eventually Dipper found himself rest, falling into the sheets he slept atop, refusing to actually cover himself up. It was, after all, far too hot for that stuff.

Somewhere between an infinite time of darkness and comfort and a blink of an eye, Dipper found himself stirring. His skin stuck with the humidity of the air, and his hair felt matted and tangled. He heard movement, and his head tossed itself up. There was a light on in their room- by the window. The top of a head covered with long, straight red hair bobbed barely in view.

Dipper considered calling to Wendy, but looked next to him. Soos was snoring still, and thinking to the other sleeping occupants of the room, Dipper instead decided to stay quiet. He looked at the window, and only just realized that it was early morning, rather than the dead of night. With that comfort, he pulled himself to the side, and stepped onto the dirty carpet floor.

Wendy spun around instantly.

"Hey," Dipper said with a groggy smile.

"Dipper, you should sleep," Wendy said, shuffling to face him in her seat.

"Just woke up," Dipper shrugged, "can't go back now."

"Sure you can," Wendy encouraged.

Dipper looked to her as he crept over, his voice still low and quiet. She was staring at him with wide eyes, a look that betrayed her instantly. "Uh... Wendy, did I interrupt something?" he asked cautiously.

Wendy's cheeks rose in a light pink, but she nodded and sighed. Reaching behind her, she slid over a large book bound in thick leather. Wear and tear across it instantly jogged Dipper's memory.

"My journal?" he asked, "didn't I put that in my-" he patted his pockets, and found a particularly loud rattling metal missing. Wendy then reached into her newest of jackets- one borrowed from the former N.P.P.P, and withdrew a small pair of keys. "How did you even-"

"You slept pretty soundly, not even a peep. Well, except Soos. He keeps muttering once in a while," Wendy chuckled, and tossed the keys to Dipper. As he caught them, she blinked rapidly, "not that I'm watching you guys or anything. That'd be weird and gross. And... sorry," she rubbed her scalp through her hair.

"It's... okay?" Dipper asked. "I think? Like... I'm not even sure what I should be letting you apologize for."

"It's just- ugh- I'm kind of jealous," Wendy sighed.

"Of me?"

"You all," she clarified, "sleeping."

"Oh. Oh yeah. You can't," Dipper nodded.

"I havn't been this close to people in nearly three years. Watching people stop moving, and remembering what it feels like," Wendy sighed, closing her own eyes for a moment and leaning back, "having the time to not think... not move... not _do anything_."

"And here I'd love the chance to never have to sleep again," Dipper acknowledged, "so I could always do stuff."

"Yeah man, it's a mixed curse," Wendy admitted.

"You mean 'blessing'?" Dipper asked.

"Nope. Curse. It's still a curse," Wendy pointedly said.

"Right. So... why were you looking through Grunkle Ford's journal?" Dipper asked, and flipped the cover to find a golden '1'. "That's not even the usual. Number one?"

"Your notes are too... complicated," Wendy sighed, rubbing her eyes, "Stanford had a lot of explaining he had to do, so I can follow his stuff closely. I thought, maybe, I could spot something you hadn't about my, uh, condition, you know?"

Dipper's brain had stalled. "You... you think my work is too complicated?"

"Well, Dipper," Wendy snorted quietly, "you're kind of a genius."

There they were again. Those dang, pesky, fluttering butterflies. Around his heart and stomach they danced a swaying, numbing route. His head buzzed and his skin prickled, and Dipper was made painfully aware by his own subconscious that he was with Wendy, and no one else was awake. The Wendy he was... was he taller than her? No. Maybe at height. She still looked the same. Same old Wendy.

Those feelings rushed through Dipper in the span of a moment. For in the next, Wendy was talking again.

"I was trying to translate your stuff. I figured after going through all three I don't know how many times, you'd have memorized everything. Maybe if I could do that too, then I could understand your work."

"I... didn't realize how much I left out with my footnotes," Dipper admitted with a shallow swallow, staring at her lips.

"It's okay dude," She sighed, lifting the book to her again, flipping open the pages, "I just had this theory in my head a while ago, and I was looking for evidence."

"Huh?"

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, leaning closer to him, "me, a theory, right?" she snickered. "But really, it's about Zander."

Dipper was in a daze. There were so many freckles on her face. "Go on," he managed, his lips feeling slow and heavy.

"So, man, if he's really the Guardsman, then Zander's super old, right?" she asked. "I was wondering if Ford had found anything about ancient cultures in the land of Gravity Falls. Turns out, he did," she flipped to a page, riddled with notes, some of which were Dipper's additions, "there were these people- Kalapuya or something," she added with a wave of her hand, "that described a night of 'wailing spirits'."

"Oh yeah?" Dipper said, staring into her eyes. That shade of green just went on forever in her eyes.

"Since that night, the lands that'd become Gravity Falls slowly became, well, they described it as haunted," Wendy said with a sigh, "but I think that they just saw all the weird magical things starting to show up. Guess when that happened?" she asked. "Like, five and a half hundred years ago man!"

"That's a big while," Dipper said, his eyes falling down, eyeing something else entirely. Then he blinked, "I mean- it's a long while."

"Yeah. So, the native people were all about that night of spirits. They said that when they went to look for the screams, all they found was blood and broken trees, but no bodies. Soon afterwards, strange noises and lights came from a distant part of the woods-" Wendy looked into his face, "the area that you guys found that stone."

Dipper blinked, and pulled the journal into his own hands. How had he missed that? Granted, Dipper was someone more interested in the future than the past, but something that important surely had to resonate in his mind. Surely enough, Fords handwriting was all over the page, showing his depictions of the carvings along walls he had found.

"This... I never connected the two," Dipper gasped. He looked up to Wendy. "So, then, what does this have to do with you?"

Wendy paused. "Well, not me. Zander."

Dipper's face stiffened. That touchy topic. Zander Maximillion. That was what the conversation had been about, hadn't it? He nodded still, and said, "so... what?"

Wendy opened her mouth, but instead, the door knocked loudly. _Knock, Knock._

"No deal, madam," Soos muttered in his sleep.

The two on the floor whipped their heads to the spot. Someone was out there, easily at five in the morning. The sky still hadn't a fleck of sun in it. Who the heck would be out there?

Dipper stood, followed by Wendy. He turned to her, and motioned to his eyes, as if forcing them open. She nodded, understanding to keep a watch. With his heart racing a hundred beats a second, Dipper turned slowly back, and then wrenched open the door with a curt, "Yes who is it?"

His jaw dropped.

It was a Sasquatch.

"Good day," the being nodded to Dipper, wearing a petite pair of glasses and a tie around his neck of red and gold, "my name is Goland, and I would like to speak to Dipper and Mabel Pines. Would you be one of the two?" he asked kindly, flashing a toothy maw with a smile.

Dipper's eyes were glued open. He couldn't believe it. It was just... A bigfoot. Yeti. Yowie. It's crisp, auburn hair was combed neatly, and as Dipper gave it a quick look over, he realized the thing was wearing pink bunny slippers.

"Ah, yes," he noticed Dipper looking, "I saw them outside a house I passed on the way here. You see, I was under the impression humans appreciated foot-wear, and ties!" he exclaimed, patting the terrible applied wrinkled tie around his neck, "to put the 'best foot forward' as it were. Am I doing a good job?"

Never once leaving his eyes off the creature, Dipper very slowly closed the door.

As soon as he did, he spun around, facing Wendy, who's mouth had also fallen open.

"GUYS!" Dipper shouted.

Mabel flipped off her side of the bed, crashing to the floor with a yell. "I LIVE TO SERVE!" she shouted.

Soos shot up, screaming, "I said no way, José!"

"We have a visitor! Get up!" Dipper yelled. Waddles was squealing, running around the cramped room as much as his little legs would let him. "Mabel! UP!" Dipper shouted.

"Getting up, don't be so pushy loser," Mabel grunted, leaping off the floor.

"What's going on?" Soos said, wiping at his eyes with his hands.

"Monster at our doorstep!" Dipepr shouted, and swung the door open again, displaying the confused creature. "See?!"

"Hello again," he said with a small wave.

Dipper slammed the door. "Mobilize!"

Mabel rolled to him, and leapt to attention. "Ready for battle," she growled, cracking her knuckles.

"Sorta ready?" Soos asked, grabbing a lamp from the table and lifting it to his side as a baseball bat. As he approached, only then did the cord pull taught, and he was yanked to the ground. "Okay, delayed!"

Wendy patted Dipper's shoulder. "Let's do this."

With the utter confidence of a boy in love, Dipper wrenched open the door and yelled with his sister and crush at the Sasquatch, who leaned back, his eyes open. As they prepared for the battle to come, he stood there, blinking.

"Uh... I may sound a little crude, but am I behind the times?" he asked, "or have the times been flipped? I was under the impression that mankind already got past the 'attack at first sight' phase."

A voice behind the shocked three prompted attention. "I'm still coming! Trying to figure out the plug-in situation for the lamp!" Soos called out.

"You're not going to attack?" Dipper asked.

"I would certainly hope not!" he declared, attempting to adjust his tie, only wrinkling it further.

"Then... what _do_ you want?" Dipper asked, lowering his combat stance. Mabel growled, a guard dog ready to bite. "Tone it down, Mabes." Mabel stopped snarling, his still glared daggers at him. "Ease it up." she did, stepping back and crossing her arms. "Okay, yeah."

"Well, perhaps I could step inside?" he asked with a small smile. "I don't really need to, after all, living outdoors," he chuckled, "but I understand that humans are not so used to the elements."

"I battle alongside them," Mabel marked him, but spun and stepped back inside. The creature opened his mouth as if to speak in response to Mabel, and yet could only stare at her.

"If you react like that, you're at least sorta normal," Wendy shrugged, and stepped back.

"Got it!" Soos shouted, rushing up behind Dipper. "Oh," he waved to the Sasquatch, "it's a bigfoot. Hello," he smiled to the creature, "so where's the bad guy?"

"Soos, you can put away the lamp," Dipper told him.

"In the end, it was overcoming myself that mattered most," Soos said wisely, and retreated, placing the lamp back down.

"I'd prefer the title 'Sasquatch', if you don't mind," the creature kindly asked.

Dipper nodded. "Well, I guess you can come in," Dipper said, and stepped aside to allow him in.

"Thank you," the Bigfoot nodded, and bent low to squeeze himself inside. With each step he took, the slippers gave a small squeak.

"Oh my god," Mabel gasped as she sat with Waddles, patting his back, "you have the _best_ slippers." The sasquatch smiled at her.

"So, uh, why are you here? And how did you know our names?" Dipper asked as he closed the door.

The Sasquatched cleared his throat. "Again, my name is Goland. I am a newly appointed public representative to my people. I was on my way to assignment, here in the region you humans call 'Louisiana', and was then made aware of a predicament. You see, my people in the area have been arrested."

"That sucks," Wendy grunted.

"Well, it get's worse. They were arrested for disrupting a construction crew as they de-forested an area. This construction crew seeks to build a 'high-way'," Goland quoted, "and use the land that my kin have lived in for generations. My kin in the lands here fought away the men, only to be roped together and charged as animals. I'm here to stop that, and fight for their rights."

"Man, that sounds familiar," Soos scrubbed his chin, "I swear I've heard that sort of story before."

"So you're coming to represent you people in this land?" Dipper repeated. Goland the Sasquatch nodded. "So then how did you know about us?"

"Well," Goland scratched his scalp, "I don't like talking about it, but I got a lot of training from experts in the North West."

"Experts?" Mabel asked. "In what?"

"Law," Goland explained, "particularly in human and other species law."

"Okay, that sounds familiar," Dipper stated.

"There was a land in the state of Oregon," Goland said, "I visited once. By the name of Gravity Falls, I think it was," Goland thought about it hastily, and the gang gasped, "and there I met with several fairies. Some of which were kind enough to explain to me how human laws worked."

"You remember Gravity Falls!?" Dipper gasped, approaching the imposingly tall being.

"Why yes, I do. I was there, after all," Goland said.

"There are people out there that remember it," Dipper muttered.

"So you met with the fairies!" Mabel exclaimed, "uh, just how long ago was that? Their understanding of our ways kind of changed this summer."

"Oh, this was much long ago. Earlier last year, I'd say. In the spring," Goland explained.

"Oh," Mabel deflated slightly, "yeah, you may want to check your sources then."

"I appreciate your concern," Goland the Sasquatch sat down on the floor, and was finally able to lean up fully, "but as a legal representative of my kind, I do not have the luxury to check my sources. I heard through the whispers of the wind- oh," he paused, seeing their faces, "that means Fairy-email, basically, that Dipper and Mabel Pines were to be trusted."

"R-Really?" Dipper gasped.

"We're considered good guys!" Mabel shouted, tugging on her brother's shoulder. "Suck on that, Unicorns!" Mabel shook her fist at the ceiling.

"They regarded you highly in the defense of peace and justice for others, and worked especially hard to preserve the lives of those in need," Goland added on, amused with Mabel's antics.

"Oh," Dipper glanced to her sister, who shrugged, "I guess... they could say that. I mean, if you want to believe that's why... we did those... things."

"So, I come to you, and your friends," Goland gave a courteous nod to both Wendy and Soos, "for your aid. I am under the impression you know of the company which is responsible for these actions. I would like your support in court tomorrow."

"We know the company?" Dipper asked.

Soos darted up and gasped. "It's Weyani-Yuland, isn't it!?" Soos shouted.

"...No," Goland shook his head, cautious to not stir Soos further.

"Oh. Can't be that bad then," Soos shrugged and sat back down.

"It's a company run by a family known as 'Gleeful'," Goland said.

All at once, the atmosphere in the room shriveled. Mabel groaned and wretched. Dipper scowled and clenched his hands into fists. Wendy blew out a puff of a sigh and rolled her eyes. Soos nodded and crossed his arms, saying only, "we are acquainted with those dudes."

"So Bud moved to Louisiana," Dipper grumbled, "man, he doesn't waste time."

"Like father like son," Wendy mentioned.

"We'll do it," Mabel decided.

"Really?!" Goland gasped.

"Wait! Wait!" Dipper stood up, a hand towards his sister. "Mabel, I want to help too, and anything to get back at the Gleefuls for everything they did to us back in Gravity Falls, but this isn't a bit off our own course?" he asked. Goland's expression, bright and hopeful since he walked in, faded. "Goland, I want to help you. I do. But we have something really important going on."

"Yeah, save the world kind of important," Wendy added.

"Save the world?" the Sasquatch blinked.

"We're looking for these glowing crazy magic rocks called 'Starkissed'," Mabel explained easily, "and they'll help us save the world from being flooded by magic."

Goland looked around, his eyes scanning over each of the four, and even Waddles. After he and the pig had a quick, but intense match of a stare off, he turned to Dipper. "I can promise to have my kin find such a stone."

"Really?!" The twins exclaimed in unison.

"Yes. We are sensitive to energies such as magic," the Sasquatch explained. "We are, after all, magic in nature. We've even begun investigating a recent boon in the stuff- we're not sure where it's come from, but we're happy it's returned," he admitted. "But I can almost certainly guarantee that we could find it for you. It _is_ in the area, right?"

"To our understanding, yeah dude," Soos nodded.

"Then I offer the exchange," Goland leaned forward, extending his humongous hand, "my kin's services for your support."

Dipper smiled and stepped forward. "It's a de-"

"DEAL!" Mabel leapt forward and hugged the Sasquatch. As he looked down to her with a hesitancy, Mabel sniffed loudly. "You smell like pine cones and dog breath. Neato!" The two laughed heartily, alleviating the situation. "But no really," Mabel added, dropping pretenses, "take a shower before you go to court."

The rest of the morning was spent in an excited rush. To compare the previous afternoon with their new ordeal was night and day, almost literally. They now had an objective- one that could easily pull their attention away from the irritating and muggy atmosphere of the bayou.

Dipper was quick to begin his research. As Goland reluctantly did as Mabel suggested and took a shower (by some nearby natural stream), Dipper was hastily digging into the Gleeful Organization. As he quickly discovered, their entire portfolio had changed. No longer did they mention their time spent in Gravity Falls, and instead, they focused on their recent improvements. He was astonished with the amount of effort they put into one thing- American infrastructure. Roads, parks, highways, piping- it was all boring, simple construction that aided the state of the country. Still, Dipper scowled and tried his best to root out more evidence that he may use against the twisted family.

Eventually, he found an address they could use. It wasn't that far away either- in the city the court hearing would be in.

"Maybe we should pay them a visit in person _before_ the court case," Dipper stated as the four prepared for the case hearing.

"Oh! Maybe we could threaten them to back out," Mabel guessed.

"I doubt it," Wendy shook her head.

"Yeah. The gleefuls are sort of like lice, dude," Soos said, "like, you can comb 'em all you want, but you gotta go with the wash to really get them out, you know?"

"Soos, just how wise are you?" Mabel laughed.

"Heh, I'm not all that wise," Soos shrugged.

"So, we're going to pay these guys a visit? Remind them who they're messing with?" Dipper asked. Three nods and an oink from the pig solidified the plan of attack. "Okay. Let's do this," Dipper sighed, and they all left the motel within the next five minutes.

Only pausing to quickly inform Goland of their plan, the four plus pig chose Stan's car to drive into town with. Aside from looking just slightly more impressive, the space within the car would not compromise the party involved. "Just don't scuff the leather," Soos asked them softly, "Mister Pines wouldn't have wanted that."

Barely half an hour passed before, In the space of a tall downtown office building, the four and pig made their way into a select floor. Welcomed by a shaky, somewhat jumpy secretary of later age and graying hair, they were lead into a large meeting room before being left alone. The interior was warmly decorated, with several windows overlooking the town from their fourth level seat. A pair of warm auburn doors stood away, leaving to supposedly an office of some sort.

"So, did anyone else recognize her from somewhere?" Dipper asked. "I swear I've seen that woman before."

"I vibe you," Soos nodded, staring at the door they entered from. "Maybe she's a doppelganger."

"No," Wendy shook her head, "I'd know."

"How is that, exactly?" Dipper asked. Wendy gave him a look, and then winked.

"Wraith-senses," she answered coyly. Mabel jolted and shivered. "Uh, you okay?" Wendy asked to Mabel, "talking about my stuff gives you... shivers?"

"No," Mabel shook her head and cracked her neck, "I just got... a feeling."

"Not you too," Dipper grumbled, "just say what."

Mabel turned and looked him dead in the eye. "The last time I got heebee-jeebees this bad, it was when we last saw-" The auburn double-doors swung open, and with a cry of southern twang and excitement, a voice shouted to them. Specifically, to Mabel. She grumbled, facing away from the door as the figure stepped out, "Gideon."

"Mabel Pines!" the teenager with hair as large as his head declared.

As Mabel turned about, the four (and now scared Waddles) got a look at the aged enemy of the past. Gideon was still short for his age, but only by several inches. His already large frame had filled out. Large arms and a barrel chest displayed a more physically matured and developed human being, if he deserved to be considered human. Pastel blue suit, and well groomed attire, his image was complete. His seedy dark eyes bore at them in his false excitement.

"Well now, this is just a wonderful blast from the past!" he cried out, holding a hand to his stomach as he laughed, quickly approaching Mabel. "Just look at you! Mabel Pines!" Mabel burped at him. "Oho! You haven't changed yet, my little angel-cake."

"Do not refer to me as food," Mabel glared at him, speaking in tones Dipper, let alone the others, hadn't heard in a very long time.

"Oh, but I could just eat you up! You've blossomed quite a bit since we've last spoken, haven't you!"

"Gideon!" Dipper barked.

Gideon's attempts to appease to Mabel shifted away, and he looked to Dipper, a greasy, uncaring stare presented for her brother. "Yes, Dipper. I see you're still around. Quite a feat."

"We're here for business," Dipper continued.

"Truly," Gideon sighed, and turned back to Mabel, "but I think we aught have that conversation another time. Miss Pines and I have so much to catch up on."

"Save it, sick-one," Wendy grumbled. Gideon glared at her, and finally sighed.

"Fine, fine," he then leaned towards Mabel and whispered, "we'll catch up later, sweet-potatoe." Mabel made a motion to vomit, but Gideon had already turned away, giving an air of superiority as he swept to a chair at the end of his table. "You will all understand when I say that I have important matters to attend, so I'll make my questions quick."

"Fine," Dipper grumbled as they sat in chairs distant from him.

"First of all," Gideon smiled to Mabel, "can we swap numbers?"

"No!" Mabel snapped.

"Maybe on our next date," Gideon giggled.

"Dawg, you gotta chill on the advances. I don't even know ladies that well and I'm feeling a little forced here," Soos explained.

"Can it, handyman," Gideon snapped at him. "Now, last question."

"Better not be about my sister," Dipper growled.

"How is my sweet, innocent town doing?" he asked.

The four stared at him. Yet it was Mabel who spoke fastest. "You mean Gravity Falls?"

"So apt! Of course I do, sweet-pea," Gideon chuckled.

"You mean you remember?" Wendy leaned in, staring at Gideon as if seeing him for the first time- sprayed and greased up hair and all.

"Of course I do," Gideon rolled his eyes at Wendy, "one does not simply forget their homestead, even if they were kicked out forcibly with some misunderstandings," he said, giving Dipper a particularly nasty look.

"The 'misunderstanding' meaning siding with Bill Cipher in attempts to take over the world by-"

"Semantics!" Gideon laughed.

"That's what you call semantics?" Dipper asked, his mouth agape.

"What really matters is that the people were angry, saw me as partially responsible, along with my family, and promptly removed us. And," Gideon sighed, adjusting his already well-placed tie, "I admit to a certain fault."

The twins both raised their eyebrows. Wendy scoffed. "Really?" she asked.

"Yes. I, as I have been in the past, am prone to, er, how does one put it politely," he scratched his large cheek, chuckling worriedly.

"A huge power-hungry jerk," Mabel bluntly put it.

"Why Mabel, you cut me to the quick," Gideon battered his eyelashes at her, "it's why I admire you so."

"Doubt it," she grumbled.

"We can chat more on that topic later. How about tonight at six?" Gideon winked at her. Mabel groaned, and let her head fall to the table with a loud 'bang'. Gideon laughed, "Always so dramatic. Adorable. But please, how is Gravity Falls? I do miss the forests sometimes."

"Gravity Falls..." Dipper looked to the others. In his mind there was some unspoken rule about what had happened a week ago. Had it been made an official rule or not was difficult to say the least, but his conviction was solid- they were better off not talking about it. There was still too much pain in the past, and if they didn't keep moving forward, surely there would be pain in the future. Against his better wishes though, Dipper gritted his teeth and answered. "Gravity Falls is gone."

"Hah," Gideon rolled his eyes, "please, Dipper. Drama only suits your lovely sister. How does my town fair?"

"First of all, Gideon," Mabel snapped up, "You're right."

"I am?" Gideon gasped, a hand on his chest.

"Dipper's horrible at drama. It's why he's telling the truth," Mabel said somberly. "Gravity Falls no longer is around."

Gideon's touched expression twisted into an uncertain look of study. He was watching the twins, observing their every move and twitch. "No," he giggled, "you're just teasing me," he tried suggesting. When the twins looked away, their faces darkening, he looked to Wendy and Soos, "right?" he asked them.

"Maybe you should check yourself," Wendy suggested with a snap in her voice.

"Another, uh, time," Gideon leaned into the back of his chair, nervously looking to the four before him. "While your answer is, well honestly, disturbing, I have a pressing matter presently to attend to. Today, actually. So I'd much rather answer what questions you have, my friends."

"That's what we're here about, actually," Soos smiled, "we're here to stop you from going to court."

Gideon leaned forward, his gaze icing over. "Come again?"

"Gideon, look," Mabel leaned closer, her eyes as steely as they could become, "we know what's going on with the Bigfoot people. That your company is all trying to tear down the forest to better make for a highway. Bing poop-head jerks. Usual stuff. But you can't force them to leave!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Oh dear," Gideon shrunk back into his seat, "I am sorry to tell you this Mabel," he said, and then looked to Dipper, "so I'll tell your good for nothing brother!" he snapped, "I will not rescind my case in court!"

"Why!?" Dipper barked.

"Because it's public appeal," Gideon grinned toothily.

"What are you talking about?" Dipper asked.

"I won't be a company man forever," Gideon explained, leaning comfortably in his chair, "I already left one business for another. Showbiz for company-life. Both are good at scamming people, but in the end, the real power is in the government. Having people know you're there to rely on gives you public appeal, and that's votes."

"Gideon, you're too young to run for _any_ office," Dipper informed him.

"Maybe currently," Gideon sneered, "but give it some time. Years, even. Why, in just a few years, look at me already!" he waved his hands around, "I'm not even sixteen and I've already got an office! Now that's spiffy!" he chuckled, and leaned forward, his expression becoming stony. "But once people trust the name Gleeful, they'll want me to represent them. Once they follow me, I could become among the youngest in office. Imagine that," he smiled, closing his eyes, "Gideon Gleeful for president."

"I'd sooner take a wig," Mabel stuck out her tongue.

"But you could be the first lady," he insisted.

"Gideon, no one would ever vote for you," Dipper remarked coldly.

"Oho, such bold words coming from the town hero," Gideon snapped back with a sneer, "I assume you have something to base this off of."

"I do. Your personal history," Dipper snarled. "You, and your family, have taken every opportunity to scam, cheat, and lie your way into power. All it would take is for someone to look up your personal history, and see-"

"Oh, what," Gideon rolled his eyes, "the twelve year old in a bum-hick town got arrested for some ludicrous charge, and then left town? Please," Gideon slid back, and stood up, "your threats are as idle and unkempt as your hair."

"You take that back!" Mabel pointed at him.

"Yeah!" Wendy stood up, "Dipper's hair is fine!"

"I'd love to stay and chat," Gideon said, looking specifically at Mabel, and then turning to the others, "but I have the court case to go to. You may attend if you want, I frankly don't care. But do yourself a favor," Gideon said quietly, his eyes locking onto theirs, "don't get in my way again. Now thanks for coming," he said, and clapped his hands, "mother!"

The doors that lead into the meeting room were slammed open as the same shaky, jumpy woman of older age bounded in, holding open the doors.

"Thank you, mother dearest," Gideon smiled to her quickly. "Now thank you. Be sure to pick up a complimentary brochure on the way out!"

"I'll complimentary your brochure!" Mabel snarled, and lead the way out with Waddles close on her heels.

Fifteen minutes later, they were walking up the stairs of the courthouse. Dipper, next to Mabel, still grinned. "Really? 'Complimentary your brochure'?" he asked her.

"It was Gideon, I'm off my game around him," Mabel pouted as they passed by clusters of locals, eager to step inside.

"At least she just didn't stammer the whole way out," Wendy acknowledged.

"Yeah, that was Waddle's thing," Soos nodded. "Poor guy was practically shaking the entire time."

"I was too. Just not in fear," Mabel admitted, getting out a quick shiver. "Ugh. He's just as icky as ever."

Stepping into a hall, Dipper smiled to her. "Well, at least we've got leverage over him. With all the past evidence piled against him, there's no conceivable way that the public appeal for Gideon Gleeful has risen to the same-" he stepped inside the courtroom with the gang, and gaspe.d

The entire, filled to the grim, rows behind the Plaintiff were covered with buttons and signs of blue and white. The older, much more refined and less chubby face of Gideon Gleeful resonated off shirts, jackets, and pins. To their left, on the defendant side, maybe fifteen people sat down, versus the near hundred or so to their right.

"Never underestimate charm, dude," Soos sighed.

"I can't even... really?" Dipper gasped.

"Some things never change," Wendy grumbled, "he's as popular with the masses as he was before you two showed up back home."

Mabel and Dipper then spotted a figure across the room, by a table on the Defendant's side. Covered head to toe with hair, Goland the Sasquatch sat in a chair much to small for him, and to his left were five others. It was only then that the twins realized that those in the Defendant's side were there to ogle and stare at the creatures.

"Ah!" Goland called, turning slightly to spy at the door, and spotting the four plus pig, "you've come! I'm glad to see that!"

"We made a promise," Mabel cheerfully approached him with a small skip in her step.

"You've drawn quite a crowd," Dipper said, looking behind him.

"Yes. Though, to be honest, I'm certain that the crowd behind you all is more excited for the Plaintiff's apperance," Goland sighed.

"Of course. People _would_ be more excited to see a celebrity than a monst- I mean," Dipper cleared his throat, "a being not recorded by science yet."

"However, I appreciate your support. As do my represented," Goland turned and indicated the five, all handcuffed and shackled.

"We're here 'cus of great injustices!" the closest to them called over, a heavy hick twang in his voice.

"That's Gideon in a nutshell," Mabel commented.

"Nice," Wendy smirked, and high-fived her.

"Well, I guess if you need character testimony," Dipper said, putting hands in his pockets, "we'll be behind."

"Literally behind you," Mabel added with a grin.

"Thank you again, you four. And your pig. He's cute," Goland added with a look to the swine below him. Waddles gave him a small snort, and strutted next to Mabel.

The four had barely just seated themselves when the doors opened again, and none other than Gideon Gleeful, flanked by his father, strode into the room. His father was adjusting a series of notes and folders and reminding him of small, quick notes. Otherwise, Gideon was currently ignoring his father for the now screaming, shrieking crowds next to him, all turned and excited to be as close to Gideon as they could be.

Passing by the twins with a wink towards Mabel (which she returned with a loud raspberry), Gideon and Bud Gleeful took their seat on the tables adjacent to one another. As he did, a courtly judge walked out from a doorway, stepping into the room as fast as someone with enough wrinkles on his face to be nearing triple digits in age could. All rose in the courtroom as a police officer called out his name.

"Be seated," he called out, his voice raspy and filled with southern bayou. "This court of Gleeful versus Bigfoot shall now commence."

"That's racist!" one of the bigfoot cried out.

"Bigfoot is a crude misnomer from humans!"

"Derogatory!"

The gavel was cracked down. "Order! You shall refrain from your chatter, or I'll send ya'll back into the cells from which you were retrieved." The shouting Sasquatches grumbled, but did as told. "I advise against such behavior in the future, ya'll." As he re-adjusted his seat, the Judge then turned to the head of the Sasquatches, Goland. "How do your fellows plead?"

Goland stood up. "They plead to return to their homes, your honor."

"Be specific," the judge said to the defendant.

Goland blinked. "Was I not?"

"And refrain from using an attitude with me!" the Judge snapped.

"I wasn't using-" Goland assured.

Dipper leaned in hastily, and whispered to him, "he wants to know if you all believe if you are guilty or not."

"Oh," Goland nodded, "not guilty."

"Very well," he turned to Gideon, "the Prosecution may now proceed."

Goland stood up. "I object!"

The judge stared at him. "Pardon?"

"These five are innocent! You cannot proceed with prosecution until evidence is-"

"Sir!" the Judge banged his gavel, "you will withstrain yourself in my court! The order of procedure allows the prosecutor to speak on his behalf to the court at large!"

"He's saying that Gideon get's a chance to talk, that's all," Mabel assured him.

"Oh," Goland nodded, and slowly sat back down, "never mind then."

The judge turned back to Gideon and nodded. Gideon stood, and said, "thank you, your esteemed honor."

"Sleeeeeeze," Mabel groaned.

Gideon stepped out into the light before the crowd. Dipper looked to the table, wher Bud Gleeful stared at his son, observing. "He's representing himself," Dipper gasped. "Is that legal?"

"Probably not," Soos guessed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gideon called aloud, "ya'll know me. I know ya'll. I'm Gideon Gleeful, kind soul and lover of human generosity," he explained, and his side of the room went wild. "Naw, don't be shouting and hootin' already," he giggled, "we're here to settle a discrepancy between these un-neighborly sorts."

"Objection!" Goland stood up.

"Sit down!" the judge shouted at Goland.

"But he is disrespecting my clients!" the defending sasquatch whimpered.

"Your honor," Gideon turned to the Judge, "clearly this fella don't know how our court systems work. Maybe his clients aught to represent themselves?"

"Not a bad idea, mister Gleeful," the judge nodded, and stared down at the deflating Sasquatch. "Do you have any accreditation to your title as representative?"

"Ah... any what?" he asked.

"They want to know if you have a certificate!" Dipper snapped aloud.

"Oh!" Goland chuckled. "No."

"What?!" Dipper reached out and pulled the figure back, "you don't have a certificate!?"

"Look, humans may be all about tearing up trees for paper to write silly things on," Goland grumbled, "but we have to carve out things on rocks. They're heavy! And I was in a hurry to arrive here. So, no," he turned back to the judge, "I don't have this 'accreditation'."

"Your honor," Gideon pleaded to the older man, "this fella is taking us for fools. This is supposed to be a serious case, about a serious topic. Surely this kind of figure deserves to be removed!"

"What?!" the twins gasped.

"I'm finding myself quite in agreement," the Judge grumbled.

"But he's there only representation!" Wendy called out, "you can't just remove someone from court because they're unfamiliar with stupid policies!"

"Young lady, restrain yourself," the judge warned.

"Look ya'll," Gideon turned to the crowds, "this man and his friends aren't taking our time seriously. I mean, look at that tie!" he exclaimed, and pointed to the wrinkled and messy tie on Goland's neck. The sasquatch fell into his seat, crestfallen. "This is a matter that deserves dignity and respect for courtly matters, like, well, myself!" Gideon declared, and the crowd cheered.

"Very well. As far as I am concerned," the judge sniffed loudly, "unless there is another who will aid this 'thing' before me-"

"THAT'S IT!"

The crowd fell quiet and the judge leaned back. Gideon's face went pale as a brunette woman stormed past her brother, fists clenched as she marched out of the benches, down the aisle, past the cowering defendant, and right up to Gideon. Mabel, right in his face, scowled as if he had said something mean to her pig.

"You're not doing this again, Gideon," she warned him, "not on my watch! No more playing people for the cute and innocent crud! I won't fall for it, or any other trick you got!"

"Madam, you will seat yourself or else be removed from my court!" the judge hammered his gavel.

Mabel spun onto him, a finger out. "CAN IT, WRINKLE-FACE!" she shouted. The judge cowed back, his eyes as wide as his mouth dropped. "I'm a united states senator, so I outrank anything you got, buster!" She turned to Gideon, "if you want some proper representation, you got some!"

"Mabel, sweetums," Gideon pleaded, daring to approach her, "whatever do you mean?"

"I mean I'm taking over for the Sasquatches! And by the way," she addressed the shocked judge," don't call them Bigfoot! That's a derogatory term to them!" Behind Mabel, the five court-held Sasquatches cried out and hollered in applause.

"Mabel, dearest," Gideon laughed, "you don't know a thing about court cases! And what was that earlier about being a senator?" he asked, squinting at her.

"As an appointed United States Senator by President Quinton Trembley," Mabel declared aloud, "I will be partnering with Goland the Sasquatch public representative, and assist in aiding the Sasquatches in their legal hearings!"

"Wow," Soos stroked his chin, "that took a really dramatic and unexpected turn."

"Soos, shh," Wendy said quietly, "I'm watching Gideon grow nervous. It's really funny to watch. Right, Dipp-" she turned to the boy. Only, his seat was gone.

"Hey," Dipper said, now behind Mabel, "Gideon's right. You don't know a thing about court cases."

"Oh, you can't be serious," She gasped at him. "You're siding with Gideon?"

"I'm a little shocked myself," Gideon added, "but you were the one always more likely to go dark side, weren't you?"

"Shut it, Gideon," Dipper scowled, "no. Mabel, you want to really help these guys?" Dipper said, looking to the six helpless looking creatures in a human's world. Mabel nodded and stood firm. "Then you'll do it with your brother. Senator or not, I'm helping you out now."

"Yay!" Mabel cheered, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"After all, you really don't have a clue how this works," Dipper snorted, "someone's gotta be there to keep you straight."

"Shut up," Mabel laughed at him, and the two hugged. After a moment, Soos stood up.

"Should I declare myself official representative handyman?" he called. "You know, in case you need to repair something in court officially?"

"No, no, we're good Soos," Mabel waved him down.

"Okay," he said, and quickly sat down.

* * *

Lil' Gideon grew up. Sasquatches defend their rights. Mabel finally get's to use her profession. Soos has some weird dreams. Man, a lot was happening here, wasn't it? Any guesses how this will continue? Wrap up? I love your theories! :D

So, this week got really bad for me and writing. I don't know if you guys noticed (because I did) but I had no time to really get back to people with your reviews. Do I feel bad? ... YES. :'( You all have been following, favoriting, and reviewing this story, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the loving feedback. Seriously, don't be discouraged just because I'm a lame-o who can't get back to you. I see what you guys say to me, even if it's just an hour ago. (which... yeah... it was...) and I always appreciate it.

Anyway, seeya guys next-

(A giant Gavel slams down onto EZB.)

Giant Judge: ORDER IN THE COURT. THIS IS MY SECOND TIME ACCIDENTALLY FLATTENING THE AUTHOR. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?


	76. Bighair V Bigfoot: Part 2

The buzz of the courtroom had not died down in the past half hour since Mabel's burst. Alongside her brother and Goland, they made a hasty but concrete declaration to work alongside one another. With the confused and upset judge's approval (which was more out of frustration over Mabel than anything else), they were able to prepare a defense. That was until Mabel vanished half way through the half-hour.

Dipper, now seated next to Goland and his five sweaty and smelly clients, nervously shifted in his seat. "I knew I shouldn't have let her go without asking why," he grumbled.

"Pardon?" Goland tilted himself towards Dipper.

"Mabel," he sighed, "she's, uh, gone awol again."

"Awol?"

"Missing," Dipper clarified, "man, like Yuki all over again."

"I was under the impression she said she'd return," Goland reminded him, fidgeting with his wrinkled tie.

"Mabel's perception of time and space aren't the same as everyone else's," Dipper huffed.

"Oh! A unique gift. Does she see things in the past or the future?" Goland asked with a smile.

Dipper glared at him first. Only then did he realize that Goland's question wasn't entirely off. "The past," Dipper snorted.

"Well now," a slimy, overly charismatic voice called over from a desk, and Dipper spotted Gideon turning to him, "not to bother you and your important discussions, but I believe the judge called for a half-hour recess."

"He did, Gleeful," Dipper snarled.

"Well, as my very correct and punctual watch will inform you," Gideon lifted his arm and displayed an equally tacky blue and white watch on his forearm, "it is past that time."

"Indeed," the judge snorted, clearing his nose with a quick rub from the back of his hand, "where is your sister at this moment, Mister Pines?"

"I assure you, your honor," Dipper stood, "any moment, she will be-"

"HERE!"

Dipper and the entire room turned to the sight of Mabel's arrival. She clearly had intended to use those fifteen minutes. Dipper's mouth dropped open. He wanted to smile- it was perfectly like her to do something like that, but in this situation, it could hurt their case.

Mabel now wore pair of slim, dangerous looking sunglasses fit for a high-class laywer. A snazzy, stripped dress-suit was adorned of navy and gray. A trio of buttons were adorned over her heart, one being of a huge footprint in the dirt saying 'You know what they say about big feet'. The second was of a cartoony Gideon from three years ago, one of the now defunct spying cameras, with a large red X over the face. The last one was of Waddles himself, asleep and in his perfectly round form with the words 'Quid-pro-bacon'.

"Thank you for being patient, your honor," Mabel winked as she gently lowered half the glasses, "I was becoming properly adorned for the local set-up."

"Really?" Dipper asked her as she sat next to him, "you look like your from a New York bar exam or something."

"Do you even know what those look like, though?" Mabel posed to him. Dipper shrunk back in his seat, only slightly pouting.

"Mabel, my word," Gideon said from his chair, "you look absolutely-"

"Gideon, you watch what you say to me!" Mabel pointed at him, "because now I'm an official representative! I'll slap some legal jargon on your face so fast it'll be super-sonic! Because it's sonic, and from me, so it's SUPER!"

The judge growled and banged the Gavel. "Now that both the defense and plaintiff are present, we can perhaps proceeded with this most upsetting and alarming case." He turned to the twins and Goland, "you have the floor."

"Literally?" Goland gasped.

"He means we speak our case now," Dipper explained quickly.

"Ohh," The sasquatch snorted, "that makes much more sense. Well, I'll give it a shot-"

"You sure you have it?" Mabel asked him with a worried grimace.

"Yeah, last time you weren't really good on the human court procedures," Dipper added on.

"Friends," Goland patted Dipper's shoulder with his massive palm, "I may be a novice to these proceedings, but I understand how to captivate. Let me try."

With that, the Sasquatch raised himself up from his seat, and strode around the twins. His hands were at his back, and he stared from the judge, to Gideon, to the room around him. With one large breath, he yawned and then held a hand aloft, as if supporting it for a small ball in his palm.

"Our world, dear friends, is such a tiny speck. We live, all as one, in a cosmos so infinitely large and unthinkably complicated, that we must realize that what little time we spend together is cherished. This land, this air, this space, well, this very moment," he looked around, indicating with his hand, "is shared all together, as one. These moments of union, of alliance, of peace, propel us into a future more prosperous and more beautiful than all the flowers colors and all the morning birds cries put together. We mustn't let such small indifferences such as 'land value' halt the way to grow together. We are cousins, all of us- Sasquatch and Homosapiens. The times change around us, and we are now closer than ever to really acknowledging one another as neighbors. Friends, let us use this chance to really, really jump into the future as one union, and not divided."

He paused, letting his words echo around the courtroom before him. Blank faces and dropped jaws were the most common feature as he looked around. Dipper's own mouth was open in awe. Mabel however frowned.

"And that is why my clients should not be judged guilty and be forced to their sentence. Thank you for listening," Goland nodded, and strode back to his seat.

"Wow," Dipper padded his shoulder, "that was... actually pretty cool."

"Thank you," Goland smiled.

"But did it really help?" Mabel asked worriedly.

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked, his smile resisting the urge to falter.

Then Gideon stood up, clearing his throat and brushing his well-groomed clothing. "Well ya'll," he chuckled, "that was a whole lot, wasn't it?" he turned to the audience behind him, "now just who here understood that?"

Wendy and Soos raised their hands, alone.

"As I expected. Quite a lot, wasn't it?" Gideon asked. "Let's re-iterate what's really going on though folks, instead of trying to make these grand fantasies."

"Objection!" Goland shot up, "nothing I said was a fantasy!"

"Sir, you cannot object to an opening statement," Gideon reminded him politely.

"He's right, now sit down you oaf," the judge snarled, less politely. "Continue, mister Gleeful."

"Oh, judge, call me Gideon," the puffy man chuckled, "nah, I'm kidding, that'd be against legal procedure." Finally, he faced the crowd.

"Well folks, let's get this straight. We're dealing with a town that needs a lot of work. Just like the rest of America. We're in a nation that is being neglected. Look at our poor roads," he lifted a finger, "our water supplies," another finger, "power-lines, bridges, subways, buss routs- heck our botanical gardens are left alone and withering with time! Positively archaic!"

"I liked the town's gardens," Mabel quietly sniffed.

"We've got a whole tone of work that the federal government won't do! Who's going to do 'em? You? C'mon folks, you got plenty on your plate! The local government? Well, they're also busy keeping you safe from hooligans! What we need are decisive, proud, risk-taking people like myself to step in and do the dirty work themselves!" Gideon pointed to himself, and half the crowd began to clap. "That's right! I'll be spending hard earned, totally legal cash to make your city entirely up-to-date, and not crumbling apart at it's concrete hitches."

The townsfolk were hooting and calling out to him. Slowly, his name was being chanted. Yet he shook his head and held his arms up.

"Look folks, I appreciate your following, but this can only happen if you let it. You see, these fellas over here," he thrust an accusatory finger towards the Sasquatches, "are too proud of their small set of land! They won't allow you a highway that'll allow for more and more tourism to come through these parts! Providing you folks with money! Fame! Attention! Ain't that something to want!?" he demanded, and the crowds hollered with approval.

"What we got here ya'll, is a chance. These five stand in the way to make this town great. Great! Heck, if we work together, not just great." He held up a button with his outline, proudly busting his chest forward as the American flag waved behind it. "We'll make it Gleeful! And that's a family guarantee!" he said, and pinned the button onto his jacket. "Thank you, your honor," he nodded to the judge, and took his seat.

As applause and whistles came for Gideon, Dipper grumbled, "he's got a catchphrase now that's not 'widdle'."

"Ugh, don't say that word," Mabel grumbled.

"Very well. Defense," the judge turned back to the three, "you have the floor."

"Okay, so," Goland leaned to the twins, "who shall speak first?"

"As an official senator, there's a very technical way of deciding this," Mabel then lifted her palm, into a fist.

"Really, Mabel?" Dipper scowled.

"Gentlemen," she said, "rock-paper-scissors."

The next two hours were a blur; mixed with cheers, whistles, and scowling.

As the defense went on, Mabel was once again able to convince the judge that not only should the defense get a chance to full explain themselves and their situation, but that each of the three defense attorneys should speak independently. To her growing anger, Gideon seemed to have no problem with that- agreeing with her on the outcome.

"C'mon, Mabel dear," Gideon winked at her, "surely you understand that you'll need as much leeway as you can get. I'm a fair man, that's all."

"I'll 'fair man' your jaw if you don't shush," Mabel grumbled as she had stood, prepared to speak her own defense.

The three together made a fair point. As they all spoke, each took a turn explaining a facet of the Sasquatches side of the story. Goland was excellent at bringing to point their lifestyle and how they value land differently. They see land not just as a home, but as work place and a lifestyle. Sasquatch do not 'own land', but co-exist with it. Their home is their ultimate calling, and where they decide to settle down is a large responsibility. Sadly, it was only the defenses side that gained much positive response.

Dipper's attempt was mildly more successful. His tactic was aggressive- he dissected Gideon's plan.

"While Gideon's plan may not be far-fetched," Dipper called about the room, "to build a highway through the swamps and forests not only causes undue ecological stress, but costs millions of dollars! This is a nice town, but can you say that you have a few million dollars lying around just to throw away at a-"

"Objection your honor!" Gideon rose.

"On what?" Dipper snapped. "The town doesn't have the finances to back this project! I checked it online, just now," he lifted his phone, showing a small screen of the town's website, "and their projected budget yearly!"

"The claim of the 'throwing away' of money is an injustice! I wish for the whole statement to be disregarded, as the town is not being technically charged for this project," Gideon proudly proclaimed.

The judge nodded. "Sustained. You may continue, Mister Pines."

Sadly, Dipper hadn't the backing afterwards to continue. He eventually took his seat, flustered and frustrated that his evidence had been refuted and entirely ignored.

As he took his seat, his sister had taken to rise, pat him on the back, and strode out. With a dramatic twirl, sprawling her hair through the air, she stood before the eyes of the room and proudly declared, "Gideon Gleeful is the biggest jerk-wad in all of Gravity Falls!"

"Objection!" Gideon stood, resisting the urge to smile at Mabel despite her harsh words, "this is a biased opinion, not a fact-"

"It's unbiased and less of an opinion and more of an onion! It's got layers! OF TRUTH!" Mabel roared.

"Order! Senetor Pines," the judge snapped at Mabel, "you will present the evidence to such claims or else be stricken from the records."

"My claims!?" Mabel barked, "how about first, second, third, and forth hand dealings!" Mabel snapped. "My brother, his crush-"

"MABEL!" Dipper shouted at her, his face fire-red

"Sorry, his 'complicated one'," Mabel quoted with a huff.

"That's like us," Gideon winked.

"SHUT UP!" She roared, "and our good friend all had to deal with a younger version of Gideon! He was a conniving, scheming, cruel, and self-entitled brat who tried to kill my brother at least three times, and kidnap me at least three!"

"Are those mentioned, these eye-witnesses aside from yourself and Mister Pines," the judge snapped at Mabel, "present?"

"Yeah man," Wendy stood up, avoiding looking towards Dipper, which was not entirely difficult since he shrunk into his seat at Wendy's voice.

"And yeah dude," Soos also stood.

"I have at least two who would be willing to speak, aside from myself and my bro-bro," Mabel declared.

"Your honor," Gideon rose, "I am willing to allow these two to speak."

"You- wait," Mabel did a double take, "you would?"

"You would?" the judge also asked.

"Yes. On a condition," Gideon added.

"What?" Mabel groaned.

"You speak about me like who I was is who I _am_," Gideon pointed out, "our characters change. We are conditioned and grow as we age. It's been three years since these people and myself have been near one another."

"Three nice years at that," Mabel snarled, and adjusted her anti-Gideon button.

"Your honor, if they wish to gauge my character using these two, I wish to bring forward testimony to represent my current character," he said.

"Whom might that be?" the judge asked.

Gideon turned around, and hollered, "which of ya'll would like to speak on my behalf for my current character?"

The entire side of the room behind Gideon's desk, and his father, stood up.

"Absolutely not!" the judge snapped, "I intend to keep this case within the time-restraints of this day! Also, Senator," he glared at Mabel, "bringing to mention the status, character, or intents of Gideon gleeful does not change what the five being accused have done! Objection sustained!"

"But wait," Mabel scrambled for her phone, "they have a whole section online about the horrible things he did, at Gravity Falls- look!" Mabel pressed the buttons on her pay-phone. Only then did she realize that the website for Gravity Falls was blank. "What?!" she gasped. "But... it's not here at all?"

"Senator Pines, the objection has been sustained. Now continue or be seated!"

With that, Mabel slumped back down into her seat. What followed was an utter clobbering.

Gideon was the perfect speaker. He was charismatic, engaging, and entirely pleasant. His craft of people-manipulation hadn't just gotten better- it was light-years better. Despite their hatred for someone as repulsive and shallow like Gideon Gleeful, they had to admit, they were up against someone who was on their home-field turf, and had honed their skills.

"Folks, we have all heard the saying 'the needs of the many over the few'," Gideon finalized, "and this should entirely justify this. Why should five, who are entirely capable of moving onto other lands for their love of the earth, force us to deny growth to this lovely town?"

The grumbles and nods of approval from his side were abundant and clear.

"Because our tasks take us hundreds of years!" Goland rose up, "you ever try tending an apple tree to maturity!?"

"You are out of order, sir!" the judge snapped.

"He has a point!" Dipper also stood up. "Centuries of work versus months of labor is no comparison! Quality over quantity of life!"

"Sir, you both will be seated! Unless you have something to object to, you will remain seated until it is your turn to speak. Is that clear?!" he yelled.

The two fell back, red in the face and flustered. Dipper turned to his sister, who was staring at her phone, angrily trying to open new pages.

"Mabel, we could use your help!" Dipper hissed at her.

"I'm checking something," Mabel growled.

"Surfing the web won't help."

"That you know of," she retorted.

"Fellas, friends, your honor," Gideon looked around, and winked at Mabel, "sweetums," he added. Mabel slapped her face against the table as hard as she could without breaking her nose purposefully.

"My family company made it clear we would rather work along with these folks. Not get in their way. But they, after various warnings and urges to re-locate with our help, remained instead. They have chosen to assault and attack our workers, and halt the progress this town so desperately needs. With that, the clear victim should be clear- you folk," Gideon sadly stated, and hung his head. "Your honor, thank you."

"Yes, yes," the judge growled. "Court will now take an hour long recess. You are excused," the judge snarled, and banged the gavel.

"Seriously," Dipper punched his sister's arm, "we could have had your help."

"Ow," she grumbled, and bopped his head with the phone, "I needed to check this! Look," she showed him, "Gravity Falls websites don't exist! And the social websites for the people who lived there are gone. I can't find Candy or Grenda's stuff on Facetome anywhere."

"Really?" Dipper looked at the phone. "So not only do some people not know of it who should, but the internet doesn't have any records?"

A voice cleared it's throat next to Mabel, and the twins looked over to the squat man, who was presenting his trademark smile of evil.

"Go away, Gideon," Mabel growled.

"Now listen," Gideon put his hands together gently, "I want to explain- I understand why you're trying to do this."

"Do you? We doubt it," Dipper argued.

"As far as I know, you Pines enjoy playin' devil's advocate to higher powers. Myself, Mister Cipher," he listed, "you know- them higher powers."

"It's because you 'higher powers'," Mabel quoted, "are usually jerks who try hurting people."

"Selfishly, at that," Dipper argued.

"Call it what you will," Gideon rolled his eyes, "but I want to make myself clear. I'm a changed man. I don't care for petty schemes like that no more," he said, looming over their seated positions. "My days as a scoundrel are way-behind me. I will, read my lips, become a public official and government success one day. I have worked too hard, made too many amends, and cleared too much details in my past to let you," Gideon glared at Dipper with a burning in his eyes, "get in my way. I will rue your day should you again stand in my path!" he hissed. "But Mabel, if you ever want to stand in my way, I'll stop for you and let you speak your mind, you know? Then we'd go on a lovely date."

"EW!" Mabel groaned.

"Well," Gideon turned, entirely un-touched by her reaction, "I'm off. Have your own hour to recuperate. After all, I imagine loosing a case takes almost as much preparation as winning one," he snorted, and laughed his way away. Wendy, at the edge of the seats, extended her foot and tripped him. Slamming into the floor, Gideon stumbled up in a flash, desperate to prevent anyone from seeing his plight to the floor.

"At least he isn't infallible," Dipper grumbled as he and his sister watched him leave.

"Yeah, like he can still be tripped," she added.

"No, I mean, he still isn't above threatening us to get what he wants," Dipper explained.

"Oh, that too," Mabel hummed. As she mused Dipper's thought, she spied the side behind his Desk. People were still excitedly talking about him as he left, pointing and motioning towards the doors. "I wish people saw him just then," Mabel grumbled, "instead of when he was acting."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "if only there was a way to incrim... wait!" Dipper stood up.

"What is it?" Gold asked, glancing from his seat to the male twin.

"We may have a way to beat this case without even having to legally do so!" Dipper declared to his sister and Sasquatch accomplice.

"Humma-hummana-whaa?" Mabel babbled.

"Just think about Gideon for a moment," he asked of her.

"Can I _not_? Seeing him again is more than enough," she said.

"He always has a ulterior motive to these things. Wants to re-build the infrastructure of America? Yeah right! What if instead he's placing mind-control devices everywhere, or secret robots he can call to action wherever he goes?" Dipper asked.

"Okay, that sounds totally like the little hair-spray," Mabel nodded. "But how is that going to win the case?"

"Gideon's claim, and his popularity are the same. If we can shatter the backing this town has with him by showing the people that his claim isn't as polished and pretty as he says," Dipper explained, "then we can force him out of court! He'd have to drop out."

"Oh! Dang it," Mabel slipped out her phone again, "maybe if... these stupid websites!" she cried out, "if anything from Gravity Falls was still around, he could totally use that as some sort of help."

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, and he glanced to Soos and Wendy. "Mabel," he said to his side, "stay here. I'm going to find something."

"Huh?" Mabel asked as Dipper stepped around her. "What'cha mean?"

"I'm going to sneak into Gideon's place," he whispered, "and find out what's really going on."

"That's stupid dangerous though. He could have crazy-wazy magical protections or stuff!"

Dipper clenched his jaw tightly shut. A quick reply would have gotten himself into trouble, and so he restrained. His practice and planning paid off, and he looked to her with a worried stare. "Mabel, you've trained me in the paths. I'll be fine. Okay?" he asked of her.

Frowning, Mabel nodded. "Fine. I'll come with you though."

"No, Mabel-"

"I'll distract him!" Mabel insisted, standing as well. "If there's two things we know about Gideon, it's that he's scum, and that he's never going to refuse a chance to... ugh... flirt with me," Mabel gagged after speaking. "Sorry... just saying that makes me want to go through a de-contamination."

"Alright," Dipper nodded, "but you need to stay back. There's no telling what could happen if he caught both of us at this."

"You're going in alone?" she whined.

Dipper turned towards Wendy, who noticed his stare. "Not exactly," Dipper grinned.

The quad and pig were back in the car and down the road within five minutes. Speeding down the road, they made it towards the office building that the Gleeful organization was located. On the way, the plan was solidified.

"So, as Mabel distracts Gideon with her feminine whiles," Soos recapped, "and I make sure she's all safe, Wendy and Dipper sneak inside and look through the stuff and things."

"Yeah, pretty much sums it up," Dipper nodded as he drove, Soos in shotgun. "Wendy's better at lockpicking and stuff, and I know my way around an office."

"Can't say I do," Wendy snorted.

"Once we get evidence to suggest that he's up to no good, we'll exit. Mabel," Dipper glanced in the mirror to his sister, "if Gideon's heading our way, text us. Otherwise, I'll text you to distract him enough that he wouldn't notice us leaving."

"Or knock him out so that he can't notice at all," Mabel nodded.

"Killing him, while solves a lot of my anger issues," Dipper grumbled, "won't save the case. It'd just make things worse. We need to ruin his reputation, not end his life."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Soos asked. The three laughed, and Soos chuckled. "But seriously, isn't it?"

"Here we are," Dipper said as he pulled to a side-street spot and parked. To their right was the building, several stories tall. "Okay. Let's do this. Mabel, Soos, take the front."

"Storming the beaches!" Mabel cried, and she and Soos left the car in a hurry.

"Good luck, dudes," Soos waved back to Wendy and Dipper.

Dipper and Wendy, looking to each other once, and then to Waddles as he snorted at them, finally left the car in silence. The side of the building had an alleyway, and the two approached it.

"So, if I recall, his office was on the third floor," Dipper mentioned as they entered the shadowed area.

"Seems right," Wendy nodded, looking up with him.

"How are we getting up there?" Dipper asked. Wendy nudged him and pointed up. Above them was a fire-escape.

"How about some acrobatics?" she winked at him, and made towards a large steel trash compactor. With only the slightest of a huff, Wendy jumped, grabbed the top, and was already six feet higher up than normal. "Climb up, man," she said, offering a hand to Dipper. With a firm grin, Dipper followed suit, taking her hand and being lifted up with a surprising tug.

"Dang, Wendy," Dipper said as he stood with her, waving his arm in a circle, "you've been working out in secret?"

She glanced at him, and shook her head. "No. That's just being a wraith for you."

"Wait, what?" Dipper gasped. "Being undead makes you super-strong?"

"Kind of," Wendy shrugged, "I mean, I can't physically tire. So, I think whenever my muscles would have given up, they just keep going. So, I guess I have some sort of super-endurance." She ran forward, and kicked off the side of the building, grabbing the end of a collapsible ladder. With her weight on one end, she managed to yank down the access ladder. "And boom- one sneaky way into an otherwise locked office."

"Nice job," Dipper grinned as he followed her up the ladder.

"No problem man," she winked at him and rushed upwards. Dipper felt a blush in his cheeks flare, but only for a moment. He had more pressing matters to attend to than, say, notice her butt whenever he climbed up after her. That being said, he did note that it was a wonderful butt.

Finally Wendy made it to the third floor, and stopped just outside the window's sight. Waving Dipper up, she pointed towards the glass. "Closed, and it looks locked."

"I got it," Dipper said, and peered past her into the office room. The space was harder to see past the glass, but his quick scan revealed it was devoid of presence. With his scan a success, Dipper reached inside his jacket and withdrew journal three.

"Dipper," Wendy said with a tone of warning.

"I'm getting this window to unlock itself," he told her before turning pages.

"I thought you only did that when things got really bad," she reminded him, "like the Chinese warriors."

"We can't break the windows. If we do, we could be linked to the scene. Magic will get us in and undetected," Dipper explained.

"Dude, you know I'm okay with, you know," she shifted in her stance, "supporting you for these sort of things."

"Okay," Dipper glanced to her, uncertain of her meaning.

"But you can't just hide this from your sister," she sighed.

"Mabel's got enough on her mind than to deal with me dabbling a little into magic," Dipper grumbled.

"She wouldn't like it," Wendy stated.

"That's because _Zander_ wouldn't," Dipper pointed out. Wendy's lips tightened, and she held back, her gaze turning away. "What?" Dipper asked, noticing her shifting.

"Nothing," she shook her head, "just, uh, thinking about that."

Dipper stared at her for a solid moment. Her body language wasn't defensive, nor withholding. Dipper knew her words to be cryptic- but her tone never betrayed her, nor her posture. She was locked tight. Keeping her strange answer a locked memory, Dipper waved his hand over the page.

"Ah," he mumbled, and then spoke aloud the script, his hand directed at the window, "_patefacio porta_." With a dull click, a lock from the window slid itself open, and the glass pan slid upwards, providing entry. "And we're in."

Slipping inside the room was not challenge. The lights were still off, and Dipper heard no noises from outside the door. The inside of the office was sickeningly Gideon-like. Pictures of him with children, small animals, sick and disabled, other politicians: there wasn't a single frame without Gideon's smiling mug inside.

"Okay man, now what?" Wendy asked, landing like a feather behind him.

Dipper scanned the room. Various filing cabinets layered against the walls provided possible answers, but Dipper knew to well of Gideon. They were easy for anyone to stumble into. What he needed was something more... secret.

"Look behind all the pictures. Try to find a safe, or something secret," Dipper told her.

So the two split ways. Dipper approached the desk, and began to rifle about. Through the main drawer he pushed around pens, papers, more Gideon Gleeful paraphernalia, and an unhealthy amount of hair-spray. What folders he did find in the desk were recent.

"The highway reports," Dipper mumbled, and placed his collection on the desk, "several water-treatment plant constructions, a power plant... he really likes his infrastructure," he mentioned to Wendy, across the room.

"And he loves his own face," Wendy groaned as she pushed over two frames at the same time, trying to find some secret.

"What else is new," Dipper snorted.

Back in the pages, Dipper noticed that the pay for each of the constructions. "Man, how is Gideon not bankrupt? He's throwing away huge amounts of money on these things!"

"Maybe blackmail or something? Illegal black-market trade?" Wendy asked, continuing her search.

"I think there are spells that replicate money," Dipper mused. Wendy blinked, and stared at him. "I wouldn't use it, though," Dipper cleared his throat.

"But wouldn't he?" she asked him.

"You're... right," Dipper nodded, "if Gideon had a way to create a near infinite source of income, he wouldn't send it away for these people. He'd live in the lap of luxury."

"So how is he doing it?" she asked him.

"I... don't know," Dipper said, "I mean, he was wealthy. He had enough money from his exploits in Gravity Falls to continue using the name Gleeful and his families company name past being kicked out..." Dipper looked further into the papers, and noticed that most of them had been torn at the left corner. "That's funny," Dipper noticed, feeling the torn paper.

"Huh?" Wendy asked.

"I think these all were stapled," Dipper told her, holding up one paper, "where someone staples these has been torn off. See?"

"Right," Wendy nodded, her eyes glazing over as she turned back, staring at the pictures.

Dipper's hand fell, slightly crestfallen. That same look she wore was from earlier. With a grunt, Dipper tried gently asking. "So, uh, something on your mind?"

She looked half-at him. "You could say that."

"You're thinking about that thing from earlier?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay. What's up?" he said, laying down the paper.

Wendy looked worried. "Dipper, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm... not much a fan of magic either."

Dipper's mind felt a cold numbness wash over. "Oh," he quickly said.

"I know you're better at it than Robbie was," she explained, walking closer, "but magic did... get me in this situation," she said, indicating her body.

"You'd be dead if it wasn't for him though," Dipper reminded her quietly.

She shrugged, "yeah... I guess so."

"Wait, Wendy," Dipper slapped down the pages and approached her, "you're... your not saying you'd prefer that, right?"

"No," she sighed.

"Wendy."

"Look, it's hard," Wendy ran a hand through her hair, "like... I thought that being around you guys would make it easier, you know? Having something to put my mind off this. But when I was still just camping in the woods, I didn't have to, just, watch you guys sleep. Eat. Drink. Like, I can't do these things man. Even if I wanted to, they just end up hurting so bad I might as well die."

"But magic could be the cure," Dipper assured her.

"We don't know that," Wendy pointed out.

"Yet," Dipper pointed out, "We just need a push in the right direction. Someone who knows more about this than us," Dipper sighed, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is the sort of thing Grunkle Ford may have known about."

"Would he have helped?" Wendy asked.

"Probably, actually," Dipper nodded, "it wouldn't be in Bill's schemes to have you be powerful with death, so he'd probably help us try curing you."

Wendy nodded and snorted. "And to think, all we got looking down on us is this ugly mug," he shoved a thumb next to them, to a particularly large portrait of Gideon, who was staring down on them with a thumbs up.

Dipper stared at it for a moment. "Did you try this one yet?"

Wendy slowly shook her head, and moved forward. With a heavy grunt, she pulled a side of the frame aside. Waiting behind it was a safe.

"Bingo," Dipper grinned. "Hold it steady," he asked.

"Doing my best," Wendy grinned.

"P_atefacio porta_," he said quietly. Pointing to the safe, the electronic safe beeped to life, punched in it's own code, and then activated it's disarm. Without another beep, the door opened up. Dipper reached inside, pushing past several pictures of a young Mabel, and what appeared to be crayon-drawings of Gideon's plans in jail to break out and kill the Pines Family, and found a folder.

"Is that what we need?" Wendy asked.

"Don't know. Let's see," Dipper said, and removed the first of many papers. "Hah, a torn of stapled page," he said, pointing to the corner. A small ear of a page was stuck to a bent metal pin, locked in place. Then he looked down. "It's... a lawsuit payment?"

"Huh?" Wendy said, and gently slid back down the portrait, "like how he's had to pay people?"

"No, people paying him- wait, not people," he leaned in, "the united states government?"

A twanged voice called from the door as it opened, "astute detective work, as usual, Dipper Pines."

Gideon stepped into the room, a cruel grin on his face as he flicked on the lights.

"Mabel," Dipper growled, and looked to his pocketed phone, "the heck-" and he groaned. There was no signal in this building.

"Sending your sister to intersect me was a good idea," Gideon smirked, "but I know a deal that's too sweet to be true any day. But if I knew that all it took to get some one on one time with her was a bit of shadowy work, I'd be in the black market."

"Gideon, what's the meaning of this!?" Dipper held the papers up.

"It's called a lawsuit," Gideon rolled his eyes.

"You're suing the government?" Wendy repeated.

"Miss Corduroy," Gideon snorted, and stepped closer into the room, only then revealing that behind him were four particularly large bodyguards with tattoos, missing teeth, and in one man's case, white-milky eyes. "I understand that your family isn't entirely the intellectual type, but please try to keep up."

"What did you call her?!" Dipper snapped.

"I didn't call her anything," Gideon insisted, and then leered, "but I implied plenty. Now, I don't believe you two are in any position to ask questions. I could have you two thrown out the window you came in."

"It wouldn't end it though," Dipper warned, holding a paper, "and Wendy is much faster than me. You could get me, but all I have to do is hand this to her, and he's gone. We'll send it all over town for people to see-"

"Let 'em," Gideon shrugged.

"You... wait, what?" Dipper blinked.

"Let 'em see."

"You don't care?" Dipper snapped.

"Of course not!" Gideon laughed. "You're looking at the success of being someone who's in the business of repairing America's infrastructure."

"That's what's getting you rich?" Wendy gasped. "Roads?"

"You two have any idea how bad the state of this nations internal infrastructure is? Support beams from the seventies are crumbling, power plants from the sixties are melting, and water treatments from the fifties are polluting. People are fed up with no one doing anything, so when the see widdle 'ol me coming along and fixing it," he adjusted his tie, "they herald me a hero! And who wouldn't; someone fixing up towns to be better than before should be."

"But... how do you get money for this?" Dipper demanded.

"Easy- put in a clause, easy enough for anyone to read, but no one will because, well, let's be honest," Gideon chuckled, "who really reads the fine print? The clause says that my company finances the construction all up-front. Not a penny charged initially. Once the construction has been underway, the city or town owes full and a small interest. If they don't pay, I sue the government. And they can't afford it, or else they would have started the thing themselves."

"That's it?" Dipper asked.

"All you care about is money?" Wendy barked.

"Of course not!" Gideon rolled his eyes, approaching them. "I get the publicity. Imagine the headlines- oh, wait," he went to a drawer, and pulled it open, "you don't have to. Read 'em!"

The two each caught a paper from months ago. Pictures of Gideon waving to the photographers with the headlines 'Gideon Gleeful: Defender of the Small Town People', and 'Gleeful Gains Support VS Bad Federal Government'.

"People think that I'm suing on their behalf. To be fair," he pocketed his hands and rocked on his heels, "I am. I finish those projects. I get the job done. And I walk away, not only with the interest, but with the damages of delaying the project from the lawsuit, which adds it's own cash."

"But you-"

"Dipper, the best way to get money that isn't yours ain't stealing it," Gideon shook his head, "it's legally taking it away. Legally, everything I've done here is squeaky clean. Not that I can say the same to you. In fact, let's talk about that," he grinned at the two. Before Dipper could retort, the four approached, and Wendy and Dipper found themselves surrounded. Gideon spoke up again, "I want you off the defense desk."

"What?" Dipper snapped.

"You're the person raising good questions on that table. Goland, your oaf of a Sasquatch friend, doesn't know a thing about court procedure, and your sister, bless her heart," Gideon closed his eyes and shook his head, "can't keep up with my wiles. So you're going to sit the rest of the case off."

"Or what?" Dipper growled.

"Well, I'll give you two more options," Gideon's stare became stern, "one, I present the police official evidence from my security cameras," he pointed behind him, and Dipper and Wendy gasped. There indeed was a tiny camera pointed right at them. "That way, I have you arrested and put behind bars. And then there's... my third option," he grinned. The four cracked their knuckles threateningly.

Wendy grinned back. "I've taken on worse than them before," she warned. Dipper felt sweat on his forehead as she said this, and dared a look up to the closest to him.

"If Gideon says 'punch', I say 'How many times'," the one with glossy eyes warned Dipper.

"So, what'll it be?" Gideon asked.

A few minute later, Dipper and Wendy sulked their way into the main lobby, where a confused Soos and worried Mabel met them.

"I tried calling- the reception was-" Mabel tried explaining as she and Soos followed Dipper and Wendy.

"See ya'll in court in half an hour," Gideon called after them, waving his hand in the air with a flamboyant wink from the doorway.

"Mabel, we've got a problem," Dipper sighed as they stepped to the car.

"Did he cast a magical spell on you that makes you serve him like a puppet?" Mabel quickly asked, and raised her fists, "I swore the day would come that I'd punch a demon out of you!"

"No!" Dipper said, pushing her away, "Gideon's office was recorded. He said that if I don't back down from the defense, he'll bring it to court, and arrest us for illegal activities."

"Dang it!" Mabel growled, "just like him bringing the cops against us."

"Worst of all," Wendy grumbled, "his evil plan is technically legal. He's been getting support for this stuff before."

"Nooooo," Mabel wined. "I'm so sick of hearing him get away with that!" She looked to her brother. "Well, you sit down in that courtroom, but I'm going to give it my all!"

"I hope that's enough," Dipper sullenly said as he slipped into the driver seat.

The rest of their half hour not spent driving back to the courthouse and getting inside was to explain to Goland what had happened. Appreciative at first, he grew worried at Dipper's retreat. "But you know the most of proper etiquette for this court!"

"Sorry. If I don't step down, Gideon could try using it as a means to frame all three of us. You two have to get this one on your own," Dipper said, and stepped away from the desk, and found himself sitting between Wendy and Soos.

"Well, this could be going better," Goland gulped as he spoke to Mabel quietly.

"It ain't over till it's over," Mabel growled.

Gideon finally stepped back into the room. With his return, the buzz of the room grew again substantially. He blew a few kisses to his side, and then dared a wink at Mabel. Instinctively, she grabbed the closest pencil to her, and warningly held it up, ready to be weaponized. As Gideon took his seat hastily to avoid her wrath, the judge slammed his gavel.

"We will proceed with the final statements."

"Already?!" Mabel jumped up.

"Yes. This court has reviewed the evidence to the case, and has found much to be desired. No, Senator Pines, sit down," the judge demanded, and Mabel flopped into her seat. "Mister Gleeful, I present you your last words."

"Well, last words in this court," Gideon chuckled as he stood up.

"I thought we spoke first," Goland asked Mabel.

"So did I," Mabel grumbled.

"Folks," Gideon sighed, and rubbed the back of his head, "I've had a lot of time in this past hour to reflect. You know what Mister Goland here said earlier?" he asked, "all that mystical mumbo-jumbo?"

"It wasn't-" the Sasquatch shouted.

"Sit down!" the judge yelled.

"Well, I think he has a point," Gideon summarized. The crowd murmured, and the tone shifted. He had their attention, but not their full understanding. "Yes, you see, without a proper American birth certificate, I took advantage of their situation. They aren't entitled to anything since their citizenship doesn't allow them anything. They are technically illegal aliens here."

"How dare you," Mabel growled. "One of my best friends was an illegal alien!"

"Senator Pines," the judge warned.

"So, I will alter my proposal. Instead of forcing these strong, heart specimens," Gideon indicated the five hillbilly Sasquatches, "to move away from their home without a course of action, they can work alongside my company."

"What!?" Goland gasped.

"It'd be easy. Just imagine- strong men and Sasquatch working together to ensure the progress of America! They'd not only be a fully-paid labor force, but personal consultant to our constructions that happen over lands of nature and preservation. I think that's more than fair, don't you?" Gideon asked about.

To Mabel's fury, the crowd was clapping to him. Each cheer and clap in his favor drove a nail in her mind that pierced her brain. She saw it again- the support and favor of a man worth not even a single clap. A flash of red and a pressure in her jaw that made her bite down on herself- it was too much.

She stood up and shouted with as much conviction as possible, "GIDEON GLEEFUL IS A LIAR AND A CONMAN!"

"Senator Pines, you are out of-" the judge started, but Mabel cut him off.

"Can it, wrinkle butt!" she snapped, and turned back to the crowd, "I know he seems charming! I know he looks cute! Heck, he's even has a great perfume! But that's because on the inside he's rotten!"

"Mabel Pines," Gideon gasped and put a hand to his chest dramatically, "such cuttin' words!"

"Cutting words, huh?!" she yelled at him, "how about the time when you tried killing my brother because he had the courage to tell you what I didn't want to- that NO, I WOULDN'T DATE YOU!?" she roared. People in the crowd gasped and looked about. "Or the time you tried kidnapping my brother and I, so you could steal away our Grand-Uncles home!? OR the time-"

"Senator Pines!" the Gavel was slammed so hard the platform shook. Mabel whipped her head back to the Judge. "I have been very lenient to your during this session. Your status, as questionable as it is, will not provide you any further leniency. Now sit down, and await your turn, or you will be arrested with contempt with court."

Mabel stared at him, a fire burning in her brain and in her eyes. Slowly she looked to Gideon, who seemed between fear and awe. Slowly, she bent her knees and allowed herself to sit.

"Well," Gideon cleared his throat, "not to beat around the bush, but I had a bad past, ya'll," he sheepishly admitted, "no reason to ask anyone from Gravity Falls about that one."

"Never heard of the place," the judge admitted.

"Hah, right, small place," Gideon rolled his eyes. With a straightening of his tie and suit, he again turned to the audiences, "but I officially extend my olive branch to these beings. If they decide to allow my company the rights to build away, we will give them more than a fair chance with our organization. Thank you your honor, and god bless America."

The roar of applause that followed his words made Mabel sick to her stomach. It didn't matter. No matter what they did, or said, or tried to say and do, Gideon was backed by a hundred people. He was immune to them here, in this court. The law was on his side. Mabel looked to Goland, her throat suddenly scratchy.

"Sorry buddy... I don't know what to say," she managed.

Goland nodded solemnly. "I will try."

With that, he took to stand, and several striding steps later, was in the middle of the court.

"Gideon is impressive, isn't he?" he asked the people. Confused, the people seemed to nod in agreement. "Yes. He is quite the speaker. He, for his stance, is also generous. Not many have the willingness to allow someone fighting against them a chance like that."

Gideon nodded in respect towards Goland. The Sasquatch turned away.

"He spoke about progress. Progress, as he would put it, is improving roads. Structures. Buildings. These are things humans make. You build something, and call it progress. I understand, I think. You see, we do not see progress as that. to our people, progress doesn't come from, well," Goland motioned around the courthouse, "things. It comes from us."

The room went silent. Every creak of wood under Goland's step was audible.

"We believe that it is our actions that best speak for our kind. Day-to-day deeds to one another that are remembered, not as great and heroic things, but as emotions. We feel the need to help one another, and that is because we always have been helped. That is progress to us. Not building highways or tearing up forests to make roads, but to build trust with one another. My kind... we have always been afraid of humans. You are ambitious, clever, and with feats of engineering that baffled our kinds for thousands of years."

"Must we now, now with the chance to see each other eye-to-eye, chose to progress _things_... rather than _us_?"

Goland's words echoed around the room as clear and powerful as a storm's thunder racing down the mountain. People's eye gazed on him, a new wonder an look that defied mere explication. Even Gideon, the man in charge of their whole dilemma, stared up at the towering figure with a dropped mouth.

Mabel nodded and said, "Well said."

"Thank you," Goland slipped down into his seat, slumping down.

The judge cleared his throat. "Now, Senator Pines. Do you have anything you'd like to add."

Mabel scowled and pulled out her phone. Desperate that maybe, just maybe, the weirdness that caused all of Gravity Falls records to vanish would re-appear. She needed something to pin against Gideon, to slam down on his reputation. Yet there was nothing. No website. Not a single picture. There was nothing left.

"Senator Pines!?" the judge snapped.

"Hold your horses!" Mabel barked, and stood up. As she did, Gideon winked at her.

"When this is over, send my regards to Gravity Falls for me, dearest," he teased.

Bingo.

Mabel stalled in place. Her feet were stuck to the ground like she had grown roots. She slowly looked to Gideon, a devilish smile on her face. It was frightening enough that Gideon blinked and leaned backwards. 'What was she thinking?' Mabel imagined him thinking, and she loved it. He hadn't a clue.

She got him.

"Mister Gleeful," she said clearly, and approached him, "you said like five minutes ago, that because they had no official birth certificate, they could be treated however you'd like, is that right?" she asked.

"I did initially, yes," Gideon stood and answered, "however, I rescinded that."

"Good. Because I think you've been sort of a hypocrite with birth certificates, haven't you?" she sneered.

Gideon blinked, and looked behind him. The crowd was talking admits themselves, debating Mabel's deliberate words. "I'm sorry, what are you on about?" Gideon demanded.

"Easy. You don't have a real one," Mabel smiled.

"Liar," Gideon laughed.

"Really? Present it," Mabel demanded.

"Oh, funny you ask," Gideon snapped his fingers, and his concerned father withdrew a marked paper from a large binder, "because I always keep mine on hand! Especially after that one election year. Phew." He handed the paper to Mabel, who took it and looked it over. When she saw the date, and more importantly, the hospital location, her grin grew.

"The funny thing is, Mister Gleeful," she spun, and tossed the certificate at Gideon," the town you've placed on this certificate states 'Gravity Falls'."

"How's that funny?" he demanded.

"That's a fictional town," she smiled at him, "doesn't exist."

"Don't lie to me, Mabel Pines," Gideon laughed, "you don't look as good a liar as myself."

"Am I a liar?" she asked him. "Check it yourself. The town Gravity Falls, Oregon, doesn't exist." She pointed to the certificate as Gideon's face paled. "Your birth certificate means nothing if you didn't come from a real town, Mister Gleeful."

The people behind Gideon were all a chatter now. With the accusations, and now with Mabel's evidence, those with their own phones had begun to look up such a town. Gideon spun around as well, his eyes wide as he studied the varying reactions from those present. Quickly, Gideon took out his own phone, and did his own searching. Mabel watched with absolute, well, glee as his face went even more paler.

Mabel spun to the judge. "Your honor, I will officially place into evidence Gideon Gleefuls fake birth certificate, and evidence to suggest further tampering with-"

"Wait!"

Gideon stood up, his eyes wide. The Judge, who had stared with tired eyes at Mabel, shifted in his seat to Gideon. Yet the shorter man stalled- his mouth opening and closing with short, quick breaths.

"Yes, Mister Gleeful?" the judge asked.

Gideon smiled at the older man, and then walked up to Mabel, a scowl on his face. "You... you... you are easily the cruelest woman I have ever met."

"Oh?" she asked him, not backing down with her height advantage.

"I don't know what's really going on with the town or how you did it, but I have accreditation to take in account. I won't let you destroy my already greatly achieved comeback after Gravity Falls."

"Then you know what you need to do, stuffy," Mabel dared.

Gideon shivered in his stance, and stepped past her. "Your honor, I officially withdraw my companies claim over these five."

"You what!?" the judge snapped, trying to speak over the triumphant cries of six sasquatches.

"I withdraw all charges against this case. Gideon Gleeful will not hold them responsible for any claim," Gideon declared loudly.

"B-B-But what about the money you gave me?" the judge quietly asked to Gideon.

As Mabel's mouth dropped from his candidness, Gideon shrugged. "Keep it. I'm a generous sort, ain't that right?" he said to Mabel, who smirked back.

"When it suits you," she crossed her arms.

"And today, I'll take that path. Mabel Pines," he extended an arm, "It was an honor to lose against such a beautiful woman."

Rolling her eyes, Mabel grabbed his hand, and gave him the strongest, vice-like grip she could manage. As Gideon squealed and refrained from physically reacting (aside from tensing his shoulders as if he'd stepped into an icy lake), and stared into Mabel's eyes with shock.

"And if you come after my friends or family ever again," Mabel warned him as the buzz of the courtroom filled the air, "I'll show you just how much I'm letting you go. I could get even for all those times you tried killing me. But... I'm feeling generous."

And with that, Mabel dropped his hand, and walked away, victorious.

At the end of the day, the gang couldn't have been more excited.

"Not only did we save the day for those in need," Soos counted off with his finger, "not only did we get a new crystal," he tabbed off another finger as Wendy examined the recently found and raw looking shard of Skarkissed, presented by the Sasquatch, "we also got back at an old enemy! Talk about a successful day!"

"And just goes to show," Wendy smirked as she put the rock in a travel bag, where all the other stones were being kept, "we can totally do the hero thing and not only save the world, but save the day at the same time."

"Heck yes!" Soos said, and the two high fived.

In the front of the car, Mabel played with Waddles, now finally out her official attire. With her newest garb packed away, she rolled around on the concrete with her pink piggy, blissfully laughing as Dipper walked over, holding a backpack over his shoulder.

"I still can't believe you did it," he said.

"Won a court case on my own?" she asked from the ground, allowing Waddles to gently gnaw on her hair.

"Yeah," Dipper admitted, "you didn't really strike me as having much of a chance against that judge."

"Well he was paid off," Mabel nodded, "so I guess we were both pretty bad off, huh?"

"Yeah," Dipper chuckled. "Still, that was brilliant. Using Gravity Falls against him like that."

"Well, he said something like that to me, and I was going to jam it down his face if it was the last thing I could do in that court: prove he's a fraud and a jerk. And then poof- I had a Dipper moment," she laughed.

"A- A what?!" he snorted.

"A Dipper moment. You know, turn something against the bad-guys and be smart about it," she said earnestly.

"Oh, hah," he laughed, "I guess that's one way of doing it."

"Got a better idea, doofus?" she asked him as Waddles walked over to the brother.

"Well, I had considered using magic to charm him," Dipper winked at Mabel. Then Waddles began to chew his shoelaces. "Hey! Waddles, cut that out."

"No magic," Mabel scoffed, and sat up to gently slap his shoulder, "magic is what got us here in the first place, dummy."

"Hah, I know, it was, uh, just a joke," he laughed, and scratched his scalp as his eyes widened.

"Dipper, don't worry about it," she sighed, "we already won. The Sasquatches are promised their forest back, Goland will be protecting this area legally now, and we got the stone. Everything really did work out in the end."

"Yeah, I guess it did," he admitted, rubbing his shoulder.

"I mean, of course it would!" Mabel declared proudly, "when you've got Senator Pines on the case, everything is legal!"

"Shut up," Dipper laughed and pushed her aside.

With raised spirits and hopes, the five packed into the two cars and bike, and continued their drive eastward. Out of the bayou, into the darkening evening sky horizon, and one step closer to salvation against a tidal wave of magic.

* * *

And so, once again, Mabel and Dipper show the power of bond, friendship, and using technical legality and blackmail as a means to achieve victory. The Pines are a strange lot to look up to, aren't they?

Dipper's being awfully careful with that magic. I wonder how Mabel would take it if he told her? Hm. Probably not all that bad. Right? Riiiight? Right.

But anyhoo, I've been loving the feedback from the last episode. You all ate up that last update, and I was really thrilled! I was pretty sure about this one being something that got some verbal feedback, and boom- you all made me smile for a week straight. Seriously. Still smiling. Send help. :p

Next episode we're going to be taking a dive back into the world of danger. This episode (and a few before it) were much more light hearted and silly than some other chapters. But if you remember the last scene of 'The Shadow of the Chupacabra', you know what's up. Oh yeah. They're coming. So prepare yourself... "The Weary Path" is to be updated next week.

Speaking of weary path, I'm off to sleep.

(EZB suddenly walks into his bed, dressed in old-fashion pajamas from the 19th century) Ahhh, yes. Very good. (EZB, holding his candle, blows it out. As the dim light around him slowly darkens, it is actually revealed his bed is attached to a large trebuchet- a large siege weapon that _Fanfiction_ doesn't know is a real word. Get ON THAT FANFICTION! KNOW YOUR SIEGE WEAPONRY-)

(The weapon is fired, and EZB is thrown into the dark knight, crying in fear.)

* * *

"Well, I think my job here is done," Gideon sighed as he patted his hands.

Driving the five Sasquatch personally back to the forest was a chore for him. While he had lost the case, he had something of a charm to re-gain with the town. Mabel Pine's words had shaken their iron trust in his persona, and more than a few questions had been risen. To make things better, he had opted to returning the Sasquatches personally. Only he had struggled to find a car powerful enough to move that many large creatures around without sputtering through town.

"Well, Gleeful," one of the five turned, his hair body easily over twice his in height, "we can tell you put your heart an' soul into that shindig."

"Oh, don't try patronizin' me," Gideon grumbled.

"Hoss means it," one next to the main speaker assured Gideon.

"We was right touched when you said you'd consider us bein' part of your company. We won', because we're forest folk, but we're touched by your kindness," the main speaker nodded to him.

"Well," Gideon shrugged as he shuffled his feet," I'll be honest. Having fellas with as big arms as yours is a chore. The last place I saw someone with that kind of build, I was in prison!"

The five sasquatches waved to Gideon curtly, and turned away, sauntering into the swampy woods. Gideon stood at the spot, by the incomplete road, his hands at his hips.

To his shock, behind him, there was the sounds of another car. Turning, he found a simple blue car strolling down the road, stopping just short of Gideon's truck. With a sigh, the teenager of short height marched back over.

"Sorry sir," he waved over, "this highway is permanently delayed."

"Not a problem," a curt voice answered.

Gideon froze. His mind reeled. He had moved to the truck- his hand was on the handle. Yet his eyes shifted to the man in the car, wearing sunglasses. Strong, thick brown hair, and a broad, masculine face betrayed an otherwise thin body. Gideon was certain he had seen that man before.

Yet he knew he had heard that voice.

"If you don't mind, I'm looking for some children," the man held out a picture, and Gideon squinted, daring to approach the stranger.

"Who might you be?" Gideon asked, but stopped dead in his place when he saw the picture.

It was of the twins. Of the Corduroy Girl and that Handyman. Of Stanley Pines, and three others he did not recognize, all in front of that accursed Mystery Manor! His body shook and trembled as the man stepped out, removing his glasses.

"You act like you've seen a ghost," the youngest looking version of Stanford Pines Gideon had ever seen said as he stepped out.

"Y-You!" Gideon gasped, tripping over his own feet. "You can't be here!"

"You know me!?" the man asked, stepping closer. "Have we met?"

"Stanford!" Gideon yelped, and turned, climbing his way to the truck.

"Wait!" Stanford rushed forward too late, as Gideon got into the car, locked the doors, and started rising the windows. "How do we know one another!? Please! I'm trying to understand what is going on!"

"If you're back," Gideon fearfully said, eyeing Stanford Pines, "that means Bill is out." he swallowed.

"...You know Bill?" Stanford gasped. "Are you one of his henchmen!? Answer me!"

"No! I ain't ever workin' with that devil again!" Gideon cried, and got the engine of the truck roaring.

"Technically, he's a demon, but still-"

Stanford was left in a trail of mud and exhaust fumes as the truck pulled away, leaving the middle-aged man in the dirt.

"Blast. He got away. If only I had my journals on me," he cursed himself, shaking his head, "then I could peer into his mind. Still... I suppose I could try a more direct way than just magic. After all," he reached inside his autumn jacket, and pulled out a strange recording device, showing several gauges, "magic seems to be growing steadily stronger across the nation."

He stuffed away the device, and looked again to the picture. "Stanley, I don't know what's happened in my absence, but I will find my answers."

Without another word, he stuffed away the picture, and marched back to the car, and turned it away, riding back down the road from which he came, after the truck.

* * *

**Elgv Dzwwovh uli Nzbli: 2015! Zmw Nrmz uli Urihg Nzhgzwlm!**

**-AND-**

***Vigenere***

**Nifh trpw gdcojmvv, essiugd xdm hqo, eo bkh frowoyph livw nsimv; upwktxwtsj jrxyh. Pcuq meys qrh, adqoh emim vwtph xhuxmpa, ilyh uwxu yis xodni; hqih debm dqo wkcqg. Tj xzdyp mj phdcx, oblow mj ulqo, tnmsdci pph mzynvhb jip, nru revmv zlxyp zlel cthh, ela mqhxc jwz pzzaa, lqeijb rq gmybruj, eo bullrcthv dmhmqwwc obdov xdmh.**


	77. The Weary Path: Part 1

The Journey of Many Paths, or abbreviated 'the Paths', is a school that preaches the ability for anyone of any walk to be able to use their skills to defend themselves. The Paths, compared to many modern martial arts, has been linked more to a philosophy than a system of combat- but none the less useful. With the powers linked two four schools, anyone seemingly could find their niche and become a student of the Paths.

For those who sought the means to cleverly disable and weaken a foe, the Path of water was the clearest choice. It enabled those who walked it to become fluid and adapt to the situation, learning as they fought. To these students, the battle is something that is less about defeating a foe with fists than it is answering their strengths by exploiting their weaknesses.

Those who would endlessly evade and doge their opponents, outlasting them on every turn, the style of Air was their choice. Swift and effortless allowed for speed and mobility. Those who followed the wispy trails of air would let themselves know that their strength was in the fastest of evasion. To these students, a battle was never inevitable. They can flee, or find a better instance to find the struggle: on their terms.

Of the students of Earth, the battle was never something to win, but to outlast. The enemy was a brief blip in the turmoil that is life, and to win was never tied to the battle at hand- but the war in the long run. To those who perform the feats of Earth, he or she who withstood their trials could withstand the greatest foe.

To the rare person or woman who studied fire, the dangerous, unpredictable, and hungriest for glory of the four, the battle was a dance. Competition, friendly or otherwise, is encouraged and appreciated. Fire burned bright and faded fast, engaging in a true test of heat; to see who would singe and become ash first. The Fire, the heat of the moment was test of character, and the greatest outcome was to defeat the enemy directly.

Yet to the common eye, these people who practiced the dangerous art of the Journey of the Many Paths appeared as perfectly normal. They did not wear silly clothes, or monk garb, or speak in hidden codes or riddles. Only their grand-master, a mysterious figure that the oldest and most trained of the students called 'the Teacher' or 'the Master', was such a sight. To anyone passing by one, they may not have known that they were next to such a figure. Someone who could warp fire around their hands, or lift stone with a stomp against the earth, or jump unnaturally high, or even weave and twist with the grace of a river.

In the late evening in the western side of Jacksonville, a cluster of these people had come together atop a rooftop. This roof, sitting on a small hotel building, was dwarfed by the nearby larger establishment hotel. The nine present, one of which wore a large, black as the night around them, cloak and hood, stared at the building. Leisurely or with urgency, the party present was one of quiet.

"They've been sleeping for at least an hour," one with a bald head stated, stepping away from the edge of the rooftop. Giving the one in the black cloak a shake of his head, he spoke to the others, "if something is going to happen, it'll be now."

"And we're certain it will?" A boy asked, holding out a guitar in his hands while plucking the strings gently.

"It will," a woman behind him said, adjusting her short red hair.

The young boy sighed, and lifted his guitar over his shoulder, holding it over himself as an oversized weapon. As the bald man passed him, scratching his short hair, the boy stepped closer to the edge. Looking down, he stared at the tan-lights below that hummed in the late evening air. After a sigh, he adjust his head.

"I'm still uncertain how we found out what the Warlock is up to," he said, looking to the cloaked figure, standing on the edge of the rooftop.

"It's not our job to ask how right now," the man called to him.

"Why not?" the younger asked, sliding down his guitar as he shook his head. "We're not doing anything now, are we?"

"You're not doing it right if you think we're doing nothing," the bald man snorted.

"What?" the younger grunted.

"Drew, focus," the man Mabel once called 'Rushtar' told him.

"I've been focused on that window," he turned and pointed to a window seven stories from the ground, with it's lights dimmed, "for the past hour. Why can't I ask how we know to be here _now_, and not some other time?"

"Because-"

The cloaked figure held up a hand. The voices of the rooftop went silent. The teenager, only noted as 'Drew' realized he was now the closest one to the mysterious person, and gulped. Mask across his face of near-featureless silver, the Master of the Paths stared at him.

"In the north, I know a woman who has seen things," the darkly voice of the Master of the Paths explained, "a woman who saw the events of this summer nearly a year ago."

"Really?" Drew gasped. "And why don't we know her?"

"She doesn't know who we are," the voice stated. "For her security, I have kept her at a distance. But," the man turned to the others, "it was because of her information we gained the knowledge that Omir Steindorf would go to Gravity Falls, and that his doing, intentionally or otherwise, would bring about the return of the Dream Demon."

"Which is _great_," Rushtar shook his head.

"Is it really that bad?" Drew asked. The voice behind the mask chuckled, and turned back to the building. "Really?" he asked those behind him, his eyes meeting with a few of the other, more quiet members. "But he's just a triangle!"

"From another dimension," the woman with short red hair named Maureen stated, "or something worse. Not fond of our master, and by proxy, us."

"Why?" Drew asked.

The mask glanced to Drew, and the teen stepped down from the ledge. The dark slots for eyes in the mast seemed icier than all of the lands of Antarctica. Yet he spoke quietly. "He is not fond of humans, and even less of humans who can defend themselves."

"And this has to do with him?" Drew asked.

"So my source says," the man in the mask sighed.

"And these kids-"

"Drew, they're as old as you, or older," Rushtar snorted.

"Fine, fine," Drew nodded, "the people we're watching- they can help us defeat Bill Cipher? Stop him from destroying the world?" The man nodded.

"I still don't understand how that could even happen," one of the other's, a man with a shining, shaven head and liquorish like skin said, his voice dark as it was controlled. Busting muscles and smooth, shining skin reflected the moon in the night. "That demon can't control anything more than someone's dreams."

"Dreams are important," the voice behind the mask suddenly exclaimed. "Without dreams," he paused, staring at those behind him with a long pause, "men and women lose themselves to despair or even madness."

"But the end of the world?" Drew asked, "could he really do it?" The man in the mask said nothing, and instead tilted his head to the side. Drew, his instincts sharp, turned his gaze downward. "That's a lot of vans," he muttered, and focused on the five white-paneled vans that had shown up at the front of the hotel across the street.

"What?"

The host on the rooftop joined the two on the edge. Unflinching to the coming traffic, the Master of the Paths nodded down, and the eyes of eight soldiers looked down. They all saw them: men and women in all black. Black sleeveless vests, black short-sleeved button ups, and dress pants. Each of them, however, had a small bulge along the side of their hips where the vests covered.

"They have some sort of badge on them," Maureen nodded.

"As she said," the master said strongly, his raised voice startling those around him, "the Mark of the Warlock."

"What?" Drew asked, "Kinley's cult made it to here already?"

"Looks like it," Rushtar sniffed and shook his head. "Six going inside, packing heat. Maybe two dozen outside? Thirty total."

"Large number to take out four kids," a tall, lithe woman with jet-black hair and a men's-style suit said.

"The Warlock doesn't see this war as one with casualties of war yet," the Master of the Paths noted. "These people are those he's brainwashed. They will try to kill us, and the four. And their pig," the man added.

Maureen the Menace sighed. "I hate breaking the faces of brainwashed people. Apologizing to them when they wake up is always so awkward."

"We don't have that luxury," the Master said. "We're needed."

"Then just say the word," the man with deep, dark skin asked.

As they all looked to them, a terribly bright light was flooded over them. All but the master flinched and spun about. Hovering above them by fifty feet, a pair of helicopters hovered, searchlights tuned on them. As Drew focused his eyes, he saw who was driving them- people with the same badges.

All the Guardsman did was flick the wrist of his right hand. A spear-like shape nearly the size of his body shot out from his cloak and into his hand. With the noise above, one normally wouldn't be able to hear him. Yet, he needed only whisper his single word response.

"Go."

* * *

"I've told you once, madam, and I'm totally going to tell you again," Soos declared, "I'm not interested."

Sitting in a lavish chair of violet and silver, a triangle with a flat head and single eye stared at him, wearing an elaborate hat and holding before her as a cane a similar elaborate umbrella. In the sight around Soos was the memory of his old house with his Grandmother, who had long since been laid to rest. Yet the woman was walk about the home as if she was still alive, humming to herself as she cleaned with a vacuum cleaner.

"Soos, dear child," the cool tone of the being known only as Kelly said back, "I do not attend to those I've known to not seek what I offer."

"Come again?" Soos asked, "you always talk sorta weird."

The single eye in the silver-lined triangle rolled in exasperation. "I said I know that's not true. If you didn't want me, I wouldn't be here."

"Yeah right," Soos crossed his arms and pouted.

"Soos," the triangle floated up, moving herself closer to the man, "why do you trust me so little?"

"Dude, not to be racist or anything, but I've had bad experiences with demons," Soos stated worriedly. "Like, bad times, dawg."

"Racist, indeed," she snorted, and floated back to her seat.

"I said I wasn't trying-"

"Sweetheart," Abuelita, Soos's grandmother suddenly interrupted, "do you want me to pack a sandwich for your day at work?" she asked, her thick accent cutting into her words.

"Sure thing!" he chirped happily. The grandmother nodded and strode out of the room, easily hoisting the vacuum cleaner up as she left. Soos smiled as he watched her go, happy to see a memory so vividly.

"Your heart is so pure," Kelly sighed.

"Hey, what?" Soos cringed, and lifted himself away from her. "Don't be touching my heart or anything, dude!"

"I would never remove your heart from your chest. Such vulgar actions," the sides atop her triangle shivered, "I am a woman of class, after all. No, Soos, I truly meant it. You have a pure heart."

"Really?"

"Really," she nodded gently.

"Huh," Soos sat back down, his suspicion-filled eyes never leaving the demon. After he finally was unmoving, he managed, "thanks."

"It's one of the reasons why I'm here still, you see," she explained, waving her small, thin arm through the air, and a gaudy, flowery kettle and two small cups popped into existence. "You see, I am a lady with a job," she wove her hand about further, and the drink poured itself into the cups before they floated to her and Soos.

"A job?" Soos asked, now staring at the floating cup next to his head.

"Oh yes. I am not one who merely finds people at random and provokes intellectual conversation," she chuckled, and sipped the tea with her eyelid, "ahh, quite gentle. It's Cordovian Moon-Tea. Try some?" she offered.

"Uh, maybe," Soos worriedly stared at the cup.

"But you must understand Soos, it was your character that allowed me to come and find you in your, well, memories," she said pleasantly.

"What do you mean?" Soos asked just as the tea began to orbit his forehead.

"Well, we demons cannot interact with mortals usually. For the past, goodness, six hundred years of your dimension, Earth has been a difficult place to navigate. It has been difficult to interact with memories and the past, and since Bill took over that spit of land," she sighed and adjust in her seat, "it's been rather hard to get any human interaction at all. But now, since things have changed, I can find men and women recalling something vividly, like it were before them, and then," she snapped her fingers, and the image around them vanished into a white space, "I am here."

"Aww, bring it back?" Soos asked, looking around himself. "At least the chair is still here," he admitted happily, sinking into the chair. Kelly the Demon sighed, and then snapped her fingers, and the chair vanished. Soos fell to the solid white ground with a gentle thud. "Aww, really?!" he demanded.

"Soos, I am here because I was asked to find you," she said, "and I would have left the moment you woke up two nights ago. But I see you are desperate for help."

"Well, you're wrong," he pouted.

"Am I?" she asked him.

"Yes!" he shouted.

"Soos, as the Demon of the Past, my power does not come with how I effect the present, but the past," she explained floating closer, "my abilities can change that what _is_ by removing or adding something to the _was_. And I know that is what you wish."

"You're just saying that because you demons love deals," Soos pointed out, "just like Bill."

"I am nothing like my brother," she scowled.

"Wait, your brother?" Soos gasped.

"Yes. Bill is one of my brothers," Kelly nodded.

"A family of triangles? Well, that's weird," Soos shrugged.

"Soos, please, focus," she growled, "you have the potential to change so much in this world. For better. For _worse_. All you need do is ask me," she said, her size growing drastically larger as she peered down on him.

"A-Ask?" Soos repeated as he stepped back.

"Yes," her distorted voice commanded, "ask. I will change the past. Warp it. Twist it. Make it how you wish, and change the horrible situation you're now in. If you think yourself so useless," she added, and she floated away, "why do you not jump at the chance to change it all?"

Soos's mouth was agape and his words failed him with short stuttering. She was now retreating, the single eye peering so endlessly upon him. The further she floated away, the heavier Soos felt himself growing. Slowly he fell back and sat, his head swimming.

"Soos, you and your friends _are_ in danger," she said, "and it was because you did not take the chance and ally with me that they will continue to be in danger. If only you were braver." The darkness grew like ribbons from her, engulfing the world at large. Her voice echoed as a wind, a crashing wave, and Soos felt his eyes closing. "If only you had..."

Black abyss wrapped around him, all Soos could see was a simple image- Bronze in color and in make of metal. Two hands, coming together to hold a four-pointed star that burned with some sort of fire.

Then Soos opened his eyes in his bed, sweat pouring from his face. He gasped as air escaped his lungs.

Looking to the ceiling, Soos jumped as he heard movement coming right for him.

"Dude, you okay?"

"Wendy," Soos gasped, "oh man. Dude," Soos sighed.

"Nightmare, huh?" she asked him, standing above him.

"I, uh," Soos blinked. He looked over to the window, his eyes now seeing what his ears heard. Helicopters were buzzing around the building, making odd, jerky paths through the night sky.

"Yeah dude," Wendy nodded, noticing his eyes," like half a minute ago, these choppers just showed up and started buzzing around the place."

Soos pulled himself up, and looked to Wendy. "Hey, uh, totally not being weird here, but could you check the door and see if there isn't people outside or anything?"

"What?" Wendy snorted. "Uh, sure," she nodded slowly, and left his side. As she did, Soos quickly reached over and slid on his T-Shirt, and began to pull on his pants. All his instincts, untrained as they may be, told him he was in danger. A moment later, Wendy ran back into the room, her eyes squinted. "There's, like, six dudes outside the door with guns and stuff!"

"Crud!" Soos swore, and clapped his hands, "Dipper! Mabel!"

The twins, each to their side of the bed, jolted and awoke.

"Say the word, my mas-" Mabel said, and looked around. "Oh. Less cool."

"Wassit," Dipper grumbled.

"I think we got company outside," Soos shoved a thumb at Wendy, nearest to the Door.

"Yeah," Wendy said, "we should probably call the cops or some-"

BANG.

Something solid and sturdy collided with the hotel door. Wood splintered and fractured at the sides, caving in slightly. Waddles squealed and dived off the bead, scrambling underneath the lifted mattresses.

Mabel shrieked and dived for her clothing. "No way am I actually going to be fighting with nothing but a night-shirt and underwear!" she growled.

Dipper, having rolled off the bed, was desperately clawing at his backpack. "Number two, c'mon," he muttered.

"Get lost!" Wendy shouted at the door, and grasped a vase on one of the dressers. "Err- we're armed!" she lied angrily.

The last moment of real peace before everything went bad, Soos could only hear one realization in his head.

"Kelly was right," he gasped.

CRASH.

The door was knocked off the hinges and fell to the floor. The moment it fell, a man stepped in, ordinary and middle-aged, holding a shotgun in his grip. Wendy was faster, and the moment he stepped over the threshold, she tossed the solid art-piece. With a crack and shatter, the pieces scattered past his head, and he fell aside into the bathroom next to the door.

Wendy barely got out of the way in time before pistol fire echoed into the room. Mabel was already on the ground, and rolled aside, desperately wiggling her legs into her pants as bullets soared over her head. Dipper, across the other side of the bed, felt fabric tear and land nearby, and he ducked even lower, aware of the danger around him.

Soos pressed himself against the wall, next to Wendy.

"Dude, they're shooting at us!" Soos gasped.

"Yeah, I noticed," Wendy grunted.

Movement was around the corner, and the gunfire was gone. Wendy shook her head side to side for a single moment before she rolled around the corner, reached out, and yanked into the room a woman only a few years older than her or Soos. The woman, wearing the same kind of appeal that the first did, stumbled away.

Mabel was quick, and kicked out a foot, having her fall back. Two more bullets shot out and into the ceiling as the woman fell onto her back. Dipper, at her head, made a quick jab out, striking her temple before she fell unconscious.

Wendy turned just in time to see another rushing in, gun drawn and at her stomach. One, two, three shots into the red head, and Wendy just grunted each time. As she reached out and kneed the man in the gut, he gasped loudly, "the red-head is the undead one!"

He fell back, and Soos lifted an end table. As he did, The man rolled further inside, and Mabel kicked out, now dressed with pants, kicking his hand aside. As the pistol freed itself from his grip, he reached out for Mabel's neck. Dipper, however, was on the aggressive, and dived out, yelling as he collided with the man's side and tackled him into one of the two beds.

"Dipper, dude, move!" Soos pleaded as he swung down the end-table onto the man's head. Barely in time, Dipper rolled aside as fragments of wood and nails exploded around him. The man, now blooded in the face and unconscious, relaxed and fell to the ground.

Wendy fell back into the room as Soos stood up. Riddled with bulletholes, the red-head gasped as she held her stomach for a moment before trying to stand back up. Yet someone rushed inside, and swing a powerful kick straight into her face, knocking her back across the room.

"HEY!" Dipper snarled and jumped at the man, driving his own kick at the man's gut. A mistake, as only then did Dipper realize that the man was easily taller than Soos and muscle bound. He stepped back, and gulped as the figure raised a pistol to Dipper's face.

"NO!" Soos shouted as he tackled the huge figure. Regardless of the man's physique, little could withstand the entirety of Soos crashing into someone instantly. Up against the wall and onto the floor the two spilled, and Soos hastily climbed onto him, and slammed an arm onto his chest. "I made a promise dude! I'm going to keep it!" he shouted down onto the man, and slammed into his chest again.

At the door, two more rushed in. Their focused trained quickly onto Soos, who continued to pound his fists onto the slowly failing movement of the musclebound man. Guns raised, they barely had a moment's hesitation before their aim was onto Soos.

"Soos, move!" Wendy rushed forward again, diving into the hail of gunfire. There, in the barrage of sound and metal, she stumbled and fell to their feet, her jacket and shirt torn to shreds. Even as she hit the floor, the wounds she gained closed quickly, not a drop of blood or gore coming of them. She was, at it would be, perfectly fine.

"Twin double take down!" Mabel roared, and leapt into the air, driving her two feet into their chests. Stumbling back, Wendy scrambled ahead, clawing at the feet. Her grips proved as anchors, and they fell back. As Mabel landed to her feet, she nodded. "Dipper! Your go!" she looked about, her brother still missing. "Dip?"

"I'm working on something!" Dipper shouted, on the ground, scrounging for this things.

"What? Just do it," she pointed, "knock 'em out 'n stuff!" she declared.

"I got it!" Wendy shouted, already clawed up next to the two, and drove her elbows into the two.

"I got-" Dipper stood up, one of his journals open by his feet.

The fight was already done and over. Five bodies, each dressed in the same manner, lay scattered about the floor. The walls and ceiling were covered in holes barely centimeters in width.

Wendy turned about, examining the damage around her clothes. "Really?" she growled, "that's _another_ new coat. How the heck do superheroes and nineties action dudes use leather coats if they keep getting torn up like this!?" she snapped.

"A little slow on the end there, bro," Mabel sighed, ignoring the clattering crash as a generic painting from the wall fell to the floor.

"Sorry," Dipper said, shaking his head, "I'm was just trying to-"

"Soos!" Wendy called out, ignoring the damage on her coat.

The three turned to Soos. He was still, albeit weakly, pummeling the already unconscious man into the ground. Wendy came to him, attempting to adjust her shredded clothing to accommodate her modesty, but otherwise approached Soos. "C'mon, big guy," she said to him, "ease off him."

"I made a promise," Soos repeated.

"Everything is fine," she reminded him, "no one is hurt. 'Cept my clothes," she added as a grumble.

"I can't let anything happen," Soos re-stated, and closed his eyes, doing as Wendy suggested and leaning back, "and he was gonna-"

"Soos," Mabel chimed in quietly, her voice frail with worry, "we're all okay. Right?" she asked, as the scared pig nudged Soos with his nose.

Soos nodded. His frantic breathing, already coming to a respectable control, slowed and he focused. The handyman, watched by his comrade, pointed to the fallen man by the floor.

"Look dudes," he said, "he's got a thingy on him."

Dipper quickly passed his sister, desperate to involve himself in the action, even after the heat was gone. He reached down to the unconscious man, finding a strange pin. "It's a pin."

"Lemme see!" Mabel demanded, pushing aside her brother slightly to see for herself. Wendy then reached over and tore it from the vest, ripping fabric and bending the metal broche.

"I've never seen anything like it before, man," she muttered, holding it up for all to see.

"Two hands? Are they holding fire?" Dipper asked. "Maybe one of the journal has something about that, but I've pretty sure I've never seen that before either."

"It's an alien cult!" Mabel declared.

"Really?" Dipper asked her with a glare. "Aliens again?"

"I was right before, wasn't I?" Mabel pointed out. Dipper rolled his eyes, and reached forward to the pin. Yet it wasn't his hands which were faster- Soos had snatched his arm out, and pulled the metal piece away from Wendy. Dipper turned, surprised to say the least that Soos could move that fast at all- let alone for a small pin.

"I've..." Soos started, his eyes wide as he examined the metal object.

"Soos, what is it?" Dipper asked carefully, his eyes scanning at a distance.

"This isn't good dudes," Soos gulped as he held up the pin.

Dipper and Mabel's eyes ate up the image. The small pin, barely the size of a quarter, was of a simple enough image- two crossing arms holding up a star. The star, or star thingy, was burning with fire, and it floated just out of reach of the two hands and the fingers in each hand.

"Do you know this, Soos?" Dipper asked, shocked at Soos's apparent recognition.

"Well, uh," he muttered, and then lowered the pin to the ground, "not really dudes, but I got a bad feel, you know? Right? Like, when you see that one name from a company and just go 'huh, totally up to no good'."

"Like the Umbrella-Stand Organization!" Mabel declared.

"Exactly!" Soos proclaimed.

Dipper looked to his friend. It had never crossed his mind, not in the longest time of knowing Soos, that the Handyman was capable of lying. Soos was always direct and, well, blunt about things. Heck, even if he was hiding out of sight, he tended to let people know he was doing so.

In Dipper's recent exposure to hiding secrets, he had come to see the face of a liar a lot. Each time he glanced in a rear-view mirror, he saw that look in his eyes-burying regret. The struggle of keeping something so important away from someone so close. Soos, for the first time since they had known him, had that look.

Dipper cleared his throat and looked directly to his friend. "Soos, are you sure you don't know where that's from?" Dipper asked.

The large man stared back, his eyes widening. "Uh, well-"

"Shh," Wendy suddenly hissed.

"What?" Mabel asked, and the four went quiet. Only Waddles gently oinked, nervous about their silence.

Running. From the hallway, footsteps were coming closer.

"Uh," Wendy gulped, and her voice went squeaky, "I'm not an expert on the matter, but I think we got more company."

"Hide!" Dipper ordered, and grabbed the pistol on the floor himself.

The four stood and rushed away. Wendy instantly ran for the corner bathroom, kicking aside the legs of the unconscious one inside. Soos dived for the corner, and stumbled back up to his feet, holding his own suitcase, ready to swing it in action. Dipper and Mabel took cover with Waddles next to the bed side. A hand reached over to Dipper, and slowly tugged the handgun down.

"Mabel, let go," Dipper growled at her.

"No guns," she whispered.

"What?"

"No _guns_," she hissed.

"The ones coming in won't see it that way," Dipper reminded her. "We could use the advantage."

"You want to sink to their level?" she pointed out.

Dipper looked at her, her brown eyes peering into his. Was it an order? No. Yet Dipper felt, as much as he hated to ever admit it, she was correct. They were able to win one fight before, they could do it again. He dropped the pistol down the ground, but not before disarming it and letting the clip rattle to the ground.

The footsteps were just around the corner. Tense could not describe the feelings that washed over the four. Shadows around the corner heralded the coming figures.

A voice all to familiar came around the side. "Mabel! Dipper! Guys!"

"Zander!?" Wendy gasped, poking her head around the corner. No sooner had she done so then the image of a man, shrouded in a cloak and hood while wearing a silver mask burst in, sliding to a stop just before Wendy. "Oh man, it's you!"

"He's here!" Mabel shouted, leaping onto one of the unconscious men on the bed and over him.

"Who's Zander?" a voice asked as the hiding two inside the room stood, finally viewing the coming group.

The head of the Paths himself, the Guardsman, or Zander Maximillion, or the Master, or the Teacher, was before Wendy, his height casting a shadow in the doorway. Sliding next to him just a foot away was one of the path members who the four had seen by Mister Pine's home- a boy who carried a guitar case on his back. More and more appeared behind Zander Maximillion, until there was seven.

"They're alive," the red-headed woman who now sported a bruise across her cheek the size of a fist.

"Who's Zander?" the kid asked, looking around.

The Guardsman stepped inside, sweeping past Wendy and into the room itself. The direction of the face looked to the wall and ceiling, directed toward the bullet holes all around. As he looked about, several of the members, including a woman that the twins had yet seen, stepped inside. Wearing a tailored suit that was styled for a man against her thin, muscular body, she looked about, her sharp dark eyes scanning the sights.

"You showed up," Mabel sighed, her eyes shimmering as she looked up to the masked man.

"Surprising, too," Dipper pointed out, "considering we were just attacked."

"We were to intercept them," the woman stated, and pushed past the twins, towards the windows. Pulling aside the curtain, she scanned the skies. "The helicopters are still looking for Russell and Nadan. We have time."

"Good," the voice of the Guardsman emanated as he nodded. He turned half way, indicated the six in the hallway behind him, "secure the hallway." As he said this, three in the hallway darted in the two directions, leaving the broken doorway vacant. "Maureen, Rin, Drew, the bodies please," the man asked of the three in the room with him.

"Wait, are they d-" the teen named Drew gasped.

"They're unconscious," Wendy quickly said.

"Doesn't matter," the tall woman strode next to the woman on the floor next to the twins, "get them in the bathroom."

"Okay," Drew sighed, and made for the tall, thick-bodied man with more muscle to spare. As he struggled to lift the man up, Zander walked past him, to the twins and Soos.

"You four are okay?" he asked.

"Duh," Mabel grinned. "We are the human equivalent of the titanium! Or the plagues!"

"We can handle some crazy would-be assassins," Wendy assessed.

"Not assassins," Zander Maximillion said, glancing behind him to the boy named drew, who had abandoned lifting the man for the sake of just dragging him across the floor. "These are brainwashed members of a cult."

Soos gasped. "A demon cult!?"

"Not unless Graupner Kinley's transcended humanity altogether," The Guardsman shook his head.

"Wait, you mean Graupner is behind this?!" Dipper gasped.

"But really,," Mabel poked his arm, "who else would it be? Like, the government kind of doesn't care about us anymore I think, and everyone else who doesn't like us are scared of us."

"Yeah," Dipper agreed with a nod, "Graupner is the only one stupid enough to send people to get us for him." Dipper glared at the tall, masked figure. "Still, how did you know to find us? I thought you were too busy to talk to us today."

"Dipper," Mabel smacked his arm gently, giggling. She turned to Zander, "he's just being a suspicious little brother."

"Little!?" he demanded from his sister.

"Alpha," she reminded him dangerously.

"Look, mister Zander," Soos asked, "maybe you could-"

"Wait," Drew stopped half way in the bathroom, "you guys know his _real_ name!?"

The figure slowly turned to him, slow as a shadow creeping across a patch of earth in the mid-day sun. "Drew," he said calmly and with tones deadlier than any poison, "keep working, please."

"R-right, sir!" he nodded and darted back to his chores, red in the face. Bending over, he had to continuously re-adjust the strap around his shoulder. As he vanished, and the other two inside still worked about. While they remained silent, the shorter woman with red hair glance with interest at the four, her look clearly betraying interest to their conversation.

"Soos," the man turned to him, "that name doesn't mean anything here," he said.

"Uh, oh... okay," Soos slowly nodded. "Is that some fancy code or something?"

"It means he's not happy we're calling him that," Dipper explained.

"Dipper," Zander turned to him. "Please. We're on the same side here."

"Then you don't mind saying how you got here when you did?" Dipper reminded him.

The man nodded slowly, checking behind him on the progress of the six unconscious figures. The cloaked being said calmly, "I had a tip-off from a reliable source that you would be found here. The four of you are all being tracked."

"How!?" Dipper gasped as Mabel and Wendy turned to him. "I even got new phones for everyone and everything! If Graupner had found a number to track us, it would have changed!"

"Except for your phone," Mabel pointed out.

"I..." Dipper swallowed his words. Retorting with the certainty of having a spell on his phone, which prevented others from magically tracking it was a solid answer, before Zander and Mabel, he would have to refrain from his own personal backing. Rolling his eyes in his best attempt at accepting some amount of fault, Dipper finally said, "maybe they got my phone. I don't know how though-"

"They didn't," Zander cut in.

"They- wait, what?" Dipper spluttered.

"Then, well, how?" Wendy demanded, "that was like our only real trail!"

"I have a few theories," Zander said, looking around to the four. Soos turned away, scratching his scalp as he lifted off his cap. "I think that either he has a crew hacking all cameras in united states street watches, and is using your vehicles as markers, or has something worse."

"Worse than tracking our movement by our cars?" Wendy snorted. "Really?"

"But I love my motorcycle," Mabel whined, "it was a present from dad."

"It wouldn't matter if you traded it for something else at this point," Zander admitted as three figures left the bathroom, locking it behind him. He glanced behind himself, over the shoulder, "Rin, you know what to do."

The taller, dark haired woman nodded. Pushing aside bangs by her eyebrows, she grasped the handle and pulled. With a horrible snapping, the metal twisted and broke apart, leaving only a broken door handle in it's place. The other woman of red hair and a bruise over her cheek gave the door a check, pushing momentarily. After the door didn't move, she gave a thumbs up.

"Good. We can discuss this further, but we must go now," Zander said to them.

"Go? Where?" Dipper demanded.

"Away from here, duh," Mabel said, "It's what I'd do."

Though his face was covered with mask, there was some form of a smile hidden away from sight. "A good instinct, Mabel," Zander nodded, "now grab your things. We'll be seeing you away from here."

"Really?" Soos asked, "oh cool! Escorted like a king or something."

"If you really think so," Zander's voice said as he spun around, "you have one minute. Wendy," Zander glanced around, "I think you should change. There's more skin showing than you'd probably want." Wendy's face, already covered with tan and pink freckles, went red and she held up her arms over her chest. "One minute," Zander restated, and entered the hallway with his three followers behind him.

Aside from a pause where Mabel helped Wendy change into better clothes, and where Dipper and Soos distinctly turned and stared at the wall, they left the room in a rush. Their bags packed, the room left a horrid mess, and waddles at their heels, they raced out of the room, following Zander and his posse as they swept down the hallway. Behind the four plus pig, the other three flanked their back, providing a safe covering.

"Man, you guys are legit," Wendy commented as they turned to the minor hallway to the elevator.

"Legit? That's a new one," the red-head only inches shorter than Wendy chuckled.

"So, uh," the boy named Drew looked to the twins, "how do you know the, uh, master?"

"We met on a dangerous date that lead us through a haunted woods where we battled a witch using music!" Mabel cheerfully answered.

"Huh? What?" the teen shook his head. "You did what?"

"It's a complicated story," Dipper iterated.

"You like music, master?" the shorter woman asked.

The masked figure shrugged. "I don't dislike music."

"Wow," the woman gasped, "he must love it if he remained neutral."

The elevator doors opened, six out of the seven stepped into the elevator. The tall women, her eyes sharp as they were dark looked to the Guardsman before it closed. "It'll be secure when you get downstairs."

"See to it, Rin," the Guardsman nodded to her, and the doors closed before him. No sooner had the doors closed than he turned, and tore off the mask. "Really, guys!?" he barked, a irritation within his bright green eyes.

"What?!" Mabel gasped, leaning back and holding onto Dipper's shoulders for support. "What did we do?"

"Yeah, what's eating you?" Dipper retorted.

"I'm fairly certain you all know that I have just a few identities," Zander explained, rubbing a hand through his hair, now falling past his eyes, no longer constricted into a pony tail, "and you all should understand more than others the reasons why people keep things secret."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Mabel asked as her brother shifted in his stance.

Zander grumbled and rubbed his eyes. "I don't want you all calling me by that name," he said.

"Oh, that was me," Soos apologized, "sorry. Still getting over the idea that you're even cooler than just being a super rock-star." Zander laughed, his eyes locked shut as he bent forward, holding onto his knees. "Uh, yeah," Soos awkwardly nodded, "I guess that's kind of stupid-"

"No, Soos," Zander lifted himself up, smiling kindly, "I loved it. Thank you." He turned to Dipper, his smile, while faded, still lifted. "Look, we're still on the same side. I may hold a secret or two, I want you to know that I'm not going to go back on you all ever."

"Really?" Dipper asked.

"Of course," Mabel answered for him, "this is Zander- I mean, uh- the Guardsman we're talking about!" Mabel winked at Zander, who grinned.

"While we're alone, you can call me Zander," the blond stated.

"Thank goodness," Mabel sighed, "I was terrified I'd have to memorize another name to you. Not that it's a problem!" Mabel insisted, "like, you could be a wonderful James! Or Mark-Anthony! Or Erik!"

"Mark-Anthony?" Zander repeated. He gave the name a thought, and chuckled. "He'd love that."

"Zander, seriously though," Dipper butted in, his frown still unabated, "where have you been? Stalking us?"

"He'd never!" Mabel protested, glaring at Dipper. "Don't assume he's doing anything like that! He's helping us!"

"Then how'd he know where to find us?" Wendy pointed out.

"Exactly," Dipper nodded, and looked from Wendy to Zander, "how?"

Zander nodded silently for a moment, and slowly lifted the mask back on. "Well, I have a friend. She lives north of here, quite a bit. She can see things. The future. The past. The present. And I have worked with her to nip problems in the bud before. This time, and one time before it, I was too late," he said as he slipped the mask back on.

"And she told you where to find us, this psychic or whatever?" Dipper asked to the silver mask. Zander nodded. "How can you trust her?"

"Same way I trust you all to do what you must to save the world," Zander informed them. "Same way I need to protect you."

"What?" Dipper spluttered. Then, somewhere in the set of his mind, something clicked with Dipper as he stared at the mask. The silver before him was a method to conceal his emotions. When Dipper asked these questions, the mask went on. These last questions had all received vague, mysterious answers to which seemed... evasive. Dipper stepped closer. "You're still hiding something from us."

"Dipper, stop being so paranoid-"

"Mabel, no," Zander held out a hand to her, "Dipper isn't wrong."

"He- you- what?" Mabel gasped.

"I do hold thing from you. But we all do," Zander stated, "and I would be betraying my friend's trust if I told you anything about... the situation," Zander ended.

"I don't... doubt you," Dipper admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, "but there's something else. You usually talk like things have hope, even when it's really bad for us," Dipper nodded to him, "and now you, well, sound like something bad has come up."

The others turned to Zander. As expected, the mask concealed the face of the man, but even then, they could feel the barrier that was the man before them. He stilled himself, staring back down at Dipper from those two slots for eyes, darkness peering into the eager and frightened brown.

Zander however nodded. "It's what I hope to... prevent. Things... well..." he paused, and the elevator behind him opened, "the past sometimes repeats itself."

"Huh?" Mabel asked as Dipper tried registering those cryptic words. "What's happened in the past exactly? Is it Bill?"

Ignoring Mabel's words, Zander spun and strolled into the elevator. "Coming?" he asked them, looking over the shoulder. Despite their curiosity and desire to rebel for more information, they needed to be with him and his students- the safest and probably strongest people they had ever met. Stepping into the elevator with Waddles in a rush, the doors behind them closed, and the music began to play.

"Hm. I always liked elevator music," Soos said gently, bobbing his head as the easy tune played through the air.

"Me too," Zander nodded.

"Uh, me too!" Mabel grinned, looking to Zander expectedly.

"You still hadn't said what's been making you so busy," Dipper added, glancing to Zander.

The shrouded man turned to him, facing him fully. "There are more than just a few Starkissed stones in the world, Dipper," he explained. "The ones I send you to fetch are the ones in America, where I can come to your side fastest. Also, none of you have passports, and we have enough enemies as it is. Gaining the status of international criminals isn't something I'm interested in."

"Uh, right," Dipper shrugged, and turned half away. Despite Dipper's desires to nail Zander for something, anything, his reply was a good one.

"Not only that, but dealing with the rising power that is Graupner's little gang, the Rising Grasp," Zander added.

"Okay, okay, sorry," Dipper sighed.

"Always so busy," Mabel whistled, "you need a break," she winked at Zander. The masked man looked back to her and shook his head.

"Not from this guy," he said cheerfully.

"Zander," Wendy suddenly spoke up, "so, like, I was thinking about something you said earlier," she said.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Okay, it was a few times, but, uh, you were talking about-"

The elevator chimed the arrival to the lobby, and Zander cleared his throat. "Again, refrain from calling me 'Zander', okay?" he asked of them.

"Sure," Dipper muttered.

"Gotcha, Guardsman!" Mabel cheerd.

Zander looked to Wendy, who screwed her eyebrows in frustration at their arrival. "We can talk later. I'm taking you all to safety now," he said around as the doors opened, "later we can have a full pow-wow."

"I _love_ pow-wows," Mabel whispered.

"This way," Zander stated with authority as he walked forward.

The lobby, currently filled with frightened on-lookers watched as Zander and the four plus pig stepped out of the elevator, and walked through what could only be described as a warzone. Nearly thirty men and women of all walks of life and ages laid on the ground, broken, bloodied, but seemingly alive. The six members of the Paths who had come to aid in the gang's departure stood around, their eyes scanning the crowd like hawks.

"We're going. Maureen," Zander looked to the shorter red-head with a pixie cut, "get Nadan and Russell."

"Right, bus coming up," she nodded and reached inside her clothing for a cell phone. From a pocket, she withdrew one and called quickly into it. "Rushtar, we're ready for pickup."

"You guys have a bus?" Wendy stared at them.

"Fitting nine people into a normal car wasn't going to happen," Zander told her, "and, uh, we didn't have a van on hand at the time." Following him out of the lobby and by the street, five white-panel vans laid before them on the curb. "Get to your cars," Zander said, "we'll follow you."

"C'mon!" Dipper called, and made his way in a hurry, adopting a job as he rushed away to their parking spot. Next to a pay per night parking place, the two cars and motorcycle were found, and they began to scramble, putting everything away.

"Inside, Waddles!" Mabel pleaded, and nearly shoved the terribly frightened pig into Soos's car.

"Don't worry Mabel," Soos panted as he slammed the car hood down, and made his way to the driver side, "I'll keep him safe."

"I trust you!" Mabel grinned, and rushed past him and Wendy, who had just mounted Mabel's bike. "Dipper and I will lead!" she called as she saw Dipper rush into the front seat.

"Will you?" a voice called out as Zander walked up to her.

"What do you mean?" Mabel asked, and noticed Dipper had stalled climbing all the way in, carefully watching Zander.

"I want you all to follow the bus we have," he said, "we'll be taking you to a safe area until I can figure out how they're tracking you. Otherwise, this could keep happening."

"Okay, so we'll follow," Mabel nodded.

"Which means I will be accompanying you," Zander said, and made his way past Mabel, moving towards the front seat.

"Hey, wait a second," Dipper shouted at him.

"What?"

"Mabel is my sister," Dipper pointed to him, "and she's been my co-pilot since this all started. I don't care if I trust you or not, I want my sister next to me if we're going to be riding through possible peril or danger!"

Zander's masked face stared at him, again blocking out potential facial reply. However he did not speak. A bus then drove by, slowing down to be half a block ahead of them. The faces of four or so members of the Paths were pressed up against the glass, watching them. Zander stared to them, and then suddenly whipped his head and looked back at the building into the sky. Two helicopters were flying around the building, their lights focusing towards them.

With a twirl back to them, Zander opened the door, and waved for Mabel. "Ladies first," he said.

Mabel, blushing beside herself, rushed into Dipper's car.

As the door next to her was shut closed, the back-passenger door swiped open, and Zander effortlessly climbed in. As the door was next to closed, he reached to Dipper's seat, and gave the word:

"Drive."

* * *

Oh Zander, you're so Dramatic. I guess that comes from being a rock star. Or leader of a supernaturally inclined martial art group. Or... being whatever he is. Who he is. It. Bleh.

So, I hope my little intro established my views of how the Paths function. I've talked about them briefly in the past, but this episode functions as a real warm up to something that has played quite the role in this story, and yet never really gotten much discussion. That will be changing, in case the title of this chapter hadn't given you a clue.

Also, a huge apology again. I can't believe how many reviews I got this week from you wonderful people! I did that stupid thing were I procrastinated a few days (with the thought that I'd have the time to sort through them all), and eventually I just couldn't track all of them properly. To those I got back to, yay! :3 To those I missed (especially my returning reviewers) You KNOW I love you. Don't ever stop coming back, because then I'll come find you and be sad. (like reverse Bill Cipher)

So... any guesses what has Zander upset? :o I love your theories. Some of you nail it right on the head, and others are even crazier than I could have thought! XD

(Suddenly EZB sneezes, and is in a dusty, orange and tan desert. His desk is still before him, and he seems entirely out of place.) Ahem. And now time for something completely different: a pair of references with nothing to do with one another.

(A horde of cars, all run by very pale and bald individuals or tanned men, wearing crude armors and heavily modified cars flatten EZB and wreck his desk. A huge truck with a man thrashing on a guitar, suspended by bungee cords, does sick riffs as they blast by, leaving a broken EZB in the desert.)


	78. Update from EZB

Heya all. Yet another sad update from my end, and not a real chapter update. I know it's sort of the worst time for it, seeing as how the last update was a rather large cliffhanger (WHATS HAPPENING NEXT OMG), but I swear I wouldn't be uploading something like this unless I had to.

To put it short, I won't be around for a week and a half. Family emergencies and stuff came up, and I am needed away from my computer where I can't really write to the standard you all should expect from me and I do expect from myself. In layman's terms, 1-2 week Hiatus. **:(**

Yeah. That's a bolded sadface.

So to attempt to make up to you (and those that my little real-life drama has kept me away from responding to), I'm allowing you all to ask one thing. If it's a spoiler, expect not a small or semi-cryptic answer. If you want lore from my backstory, expect pages of text. If you want my face, too bad, I need that still. Otherwise, ask away.

I love you all, and hope to be back sooner than I've been told.

Until next update,

EZB


	79. The Weary Path: Part 2

Dipper looked to Zander for a moment. "Don't have to tell me twice," Dipper grunted, and revved the engine in a flash. The screeching tires and the acrid scent of burnt rubber passed, and the car lurched forward.

Mabel spun in her seat, looking past Zander, who had taken to leaning forward in his middle seat. She gave him a quick smile, and saw Soos and Wendy steering to catch up, and most importantly, she saw her pink pig next to Soos. He was panicking, but certainly fine. The handyman driving the expensive dragster car was doing his best to soothe the small swine, but to little avail.

"Waddles is scared," Mabel mentioned.

"He's not the only one," Dipper grunted as he roared down the street, and turned towards the highway. As he checked behind him briefly, he got a look on Zander, who was removing his mask. "Why don't you show your face to people normally?" Dipper asked. Zander glanced up to him, his mask lowered just inches lower than his head. He glanced up to Dipper, his brows furrowed in thought. Dipper saw the look, and grumbled, "not going to say?"

"Protection," he easily said.

"From who?" Dipper furthered.

"The nasty, cruel world who doesn't want Rock-stars to also be master martial-artists!" Mabel answered with a shy grin to Zander. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Mabel, seriously," Dipper glared at her, and in the mirror, looked to Zander, "your practically impervious to being hurt. The battle between you and Omir? You walked away from. The... what happened... to Gravity Falls? You escaped. What can a mask protect you from?"

Zander nodded with Dipper's points, taking in his wonder as the boy explained it away. Zander glanced behind him, and saw the bus of his comrades a great distance away. As the car bumped while climbing onto the highway, he leaned back against the car seat.

"Not all armor is meant to protect the wearer," Zander sighed, rubbing a hand over his head.

"What?!" Dipper laughed beside himself.

"That was so mystical mumbo-jumbo," Mabel awed.

"Thanks Mabel," Zander smirked, and looked back to Dipper, "in my position, there are just a few people who don't like who I _really_ am. Letting those I work closely with know who I am is just as bad as letting those who would hunt them to get to me know of my reveal."

"A superhero mask?" Dipper asked. He shook his head, a red creeping up his cheeks. "That doesn't actually work," he scowled, yet aware of just how slightly cool Zander was about his answer.

"Maybe not to the standard man or woman," Zander argued, "but it's been doing my job for me for a while."

"How long is that?" Dipper darted his question in.

Zander smirked and nodded. "For long enough."

A loud rattle of the windows called their attention away from the topic. Zander was a flash as the mask that only had been off for a few moments was slapped onto his face and strapped around his head. Dipper looked ahead to the highway first- a truthful vacancy of other cars meant he could look away for a moment. As Mabel pressed her nose against the passenger window, he craned his head forward and looked up through the windshield.

Zander stayed leaning back, his mask on. "They're catching up," he stated.

One helicopter flew ahead. Painted black, with exception to a single golden icon on the sliding door on the side- two hands coming together to hold a four-pointed star of sorts. A shiver went down Dipper's spine, and Mabel joined him, looking ahead now.

"That's the bad-guys logo thingy!" Mabel pointed.

"Clutching destiny," Zander mentioned. When Mabel looked back to him, he added, "it's Graupner's cult."

"That's their sigil?" Dipper asked, as the helicopter ahead started to turn, flying above suburban neighborhoods.

"And how do they have helicopters again?" Mabel asked.

"All of Omir's funds, every single penny, was liquidized. Graupner found a way to collect it all and pool it to his own name. Also," he sighed, "there are two helicopters."

A second flying helicopter soared past the car, even more low-hanging than the last one. Painted black with it's icon of Graupner's cult, it stayed in pace with Dipper's car. A moment later, they were all engulfed in bright white light.

"Oh, that's not helping me drive!" Dipper shouted, flinching in the bright light.

"These losers need to leave us alone!" Mabel shouted, and lowered the window. The roar of wind engulfed the car, and Dipper gasped, her hair billowing in his face as she pulled it outside.

"Mabel! Get back inside!" he demanded, trying to steer effectively with the car mostly blinded.

"LEAVE US ALONE YOU STUTTERING DOOFUS!" she roared up at the helicopter.

The door one the closest helicopter slid open. Mabel yanked her head inside with a yelp, and closed the window, and the twins stared ahead as they saw the person standing in the helicopter look down at them.

Graupner Kinley stood in the helicopter, looking down at the twins with on red gem and his other remaining eye. His face was contorted in a grim sneer fit for a man with deadly thoughts on his mind, and he called into the helicopter, which flew aside, leaving the twins alone for a moment.

"I had no idea he was _actually_ there, just b-t-dubs," Mabel pointed out.

"So, Graupner wants to watch," Zander noted, looking out the left side window as the helicopter flew away.

"What is his problem exactly?" Dipper asked to Zander.

"Why ask me?" Zander said.

"Because you kind of have an answer to everything?" Dipper reminded him.

"Oh. Well sure, I got one," Zander said as he leaned back, "he's a huge jerk."

"HAH!" Mabel barked. "Great minds think alike!"

"Great," Dipper grumbled, "answer of a lifetime."

"Look man," Zander leaned forward, speaking to the twins, "I know a whole lot, okay? History is my shadow- I'm familiar with it. That kid? He's been hiding in Omir's shadow. Everything I know about that kid comes from this summer."

Dipper opened his mouth to talk, but as they passed under a bridge, Dipper spotted movement on the highway entrances. As they passed through, he scanned the mirror, and saw a truck, flanked by two motorcycles revving onto the highway.

"Friends of yours?" Dipper asked. The man in the mask spun around and saw the newcomers.

"No."

"Great," Dipper growled, "so we've got company above and below us."

"Cheer up dude," Mabel assured him, "it's just a car and two motorcycles. What're they going to do, ram us?" The car jolted to the side. Windows on Dipper's side of the car cracked and metal bent inward as Dipper's car jolted to the side. Mabel cried out, "I forgot to knock on wood!"

Dipper slowed the car down, and spun the wheel aside, steering the car away from the assaulting truck. As he passed behind it slightly, he saw that it too had the painted symbol on it's side.

"Dipper, drive ahead," Zander told him.

"He's going to ram me!" Dipper shouted back, "heck, he already did! Half my car is-"

"That truck model can't pass your maximum speed. The bus with my students will take care of these followers," Zander informed him camly.

Dipper looked back to him briefly. "You think so?"

Zander bolted forward, and grasped the steering wheel, twisting it aside. Dipper shouted as the car lurched aside, barely missing the truck that had come to a dead stop in front of them. As they zoomed by the truck, it screeched it's tires again and chased after.

"The heck was that?!" Dipper gasped.

"Did they actually want to crash into us?" Mabel gasped, holding onto her chest as she heaved.

Zander let go of the wheel as Dipper again took his spot, and he leaned back. "I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this suddenly."

"Suddenly!?" Dipper laughed. "Your people and you fought an entire lobby of these guys and _now_ you're starting to get a bad feeling?"

"Uh, yeah," Zander nodded.

Dipper checked in the mirror again. Aside from the helicopter that they first saw passing over them steadily flying over the highway, the scene was hectic. Wendy had turned quickly, and became the aggressor against the two new motorcycles. As one sided next to Soos's car, she came aside it, and kicked out at the driver's wheel with her boot. The swerve was enough for the motorcyclist to fall behind, skidding to a halt to gain control.

The Dipper noticed the other motorcycle coming up onto his car. He made to evade, but it merely went around. As he, Mabel, and Zander traced his movements, the driver lifted something from his pocket.

"He's got a gun!" Mabel screamed, and dove in front of Dipper.

The driver lowered the pistol, the backseat was a blur. The back-side door on Mabel's side swung out and open as Zander used himself as a bludgeoning weapon. Using the swinging out door as an arc to attack, he kicked out, holding onto the handle as he struck the drive in the chest and face with two heels.

"Daaang!" Mabel cheered as the man flew off the bike, rolling to the side of the highway as the bike clattered and fell aside, sparks flying as metal grated against pavement. The door swung back, and Zander slid back into the car. As he skidded over to the center, he slipped, and turned back to the door.

"I hate it when that happens," he mumbled as he pulled out his cloak from the door, caught in the crack.

"Did you just _kill_ someone?" Dipper gasped, craning his head to see the wreckage of the bike.

"Doubt it," Zander admitted.

"Zander would never kill anyone," Mabel added. "He's above using lethal force and all that stuff."

Zander nodded to her, and looked to Dipper. "The driver should live. Broken arm and leg probably, but he'll live. Not that he may deserve it considering he was about to shoot at the two of you, but Mabel's right. Killing is for those that don't know how to resolve an issue without escalating it to mortal ends."

Mabel turned in her seat to look at him. "You say the coolest things."

"Only some times," Zander shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah, cool stuff," Dipper grumbled, and checked his driver-side mirror, and then groaned. "Really?" he whined, "they took the mirror with it when they rammed us!"

"Don't complain," Mabel scolded him, "besides, I bet Soos could-"

"Repair it, I was just thinking about-" Dipper started.

The two were cut out by a screech of tires. The occupants of Dipper's care turned in their seat to see what was happening. Wendy had dealt with the other biker, who had been trying to position himself next to Soos. Yet only after that biker flew off the side of the highway did the truck come racing up to her, and attempting ramming her.

"C'mon warrior Wendy!" Mabel cheered as Dipper turned to face the road, looking into his rear-view mirror.

The bus behind them all sped forward, and Wendy had a spare moment to react before the Truck was slammed from behind by the Bus of the Paths. As Soos and Wendy's vehicles swerved away and out of danger, the bus shunted the truck aside, knocking it into a concrete divider in the middle of the highway.

"Nice!" Mabel cheered.

"And we were worried," Dipper sighed, "man. Your students don't mess around."

"I guess not," Zander nodded.

Then, from another exit they passed, a loud blare of sound caught the entire crew off-guard. "BLESSED BE MAGIC AND THY RETURN!" A Microphone nearby was readied and shouting out. Then came the flood-lights from a large vehicle, now blasting itself onto the road. The ground shook and trembled, and Dipper fought to maintain control over his car.

"Is that a garbage truck!?" Dipper shouted as the crying of the voice blotted out most of his hearing.

True to his words, the sloppily painted and clearly stolen garbage truck made it's grand entrance onto to highway. No less than a dozen men and women, of all looks and sizes, made make-shift attachments

"A _war_-_garbage_ truck," Mabel noted. "Either the coolest or the second coolest thing a bad-guy has thrown at us."

The voice floated through the air, clear as the night sky. Then they saw him- atop the garbage truck, strapped by no less than ten bungie cords to the moving vehicle- a man with a long sheet of paper, from which he shouted into a microphone.

"Rejoice all men and women in this dry, deserted age!" the man atop the garbage truck shouted, "for this is a coming of great flourish and peace! Magic comes again! Feel it in the air, in your voice, between your loved ones!" the truck turned and made for Wendy's bike.

The Redhead audibly screamed and pushed herself forward, urging the bike to go faster. Only barely did she manage to speed ahead, avoiding the absolute pummeling from the indecently heavy machine now behind her.

"And know, enemies of the coming times of magic," the man atop the truck shouted, pointing to Wendy, "that ye shall be punished for your lack of sight! Your ignorance is punishable!" Then the man's face stretched obscenely as he screamed with a conviction only a madman could have. "DEATH AWAITS THOSE WHO STAND IN THE WAY OF THE GREAT WARLOCK! DEEAAATTHHH!"

The bus filled with the students of the paths collided on the side with the truck, shaking it momentarily off Wendy's path. The red-head turned and made to be the opposite side of the highway.

"Fiends! Interlopers! Bask in the WILL OF THE AWAITED!" the preacher atop the garage truck struggled to turn and point to the bus, seemingly tied to stand facing forward. "FALL BEFORE OUR POWER!"

The truck returned the action from the bus. Without another sign of warning, the truck spun on its wheels and crashed into the side of the bus. Glass shattered and metal frames bent inward as the sheer weight and size of the truck out-matched that of the bus the Paths had acquired.

In Dipper's car, Zander shot up and watched with utmost attention as the bus, filled with his students, fell to the side and came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road.

Zander's movement was quick as it was decisive. In an instant, he already broke out the door that had been jammed shut on Dipper's side, and he held himself out. In the wind the man peered back at the wreckage.

"What're you going to do?" Dipper shouted as the wind from the rushing highway billowed into the car.

The hidden face turned to the twins, and Zander pointed to them both. "Get off the highway. They're clearly waiting for you all here. If we can funnel them off their cars and trucks, you'll have a better chance dealing with them."

"Wait, us dealing with them?!" Dipper gasped.

"You're leaving?" Mabel whined.

"I need to see to my people," Zander told them, a pain in his voice they had not seen before. "They're going to need help. Those cultists won't just drive by them either- and I'm not going to let anything else happen to my people."

For a quick moment, Dipper stared back at the Guardsman, at the Master of the Paths, and at Zander. He had his disagreements with this mystic figure. Heck, he could make a list of reasons why he didn't trust him. Yet… he couldn't deny the man's need to preserve other's lives.

"You'll be okay?" Dipper asked.

Zander laughed from under the mask. "I think so. Just don't go too far. It'll be a while before we catch up with you guys!"

And with that, Zander leapt out of the car.

"Woah! Watch him spin!" Mabel gasped, watching what Dipper could only hear

"Yeah, I bet he's all impressive looking and stuff," Dipper mumbled, and glanced behind the car with his rear-view. Zander was already on his feet, darting southward on the highway. He instantly passed Soos and Wendy, who were now the only companions to the twins in the highway, save for two helicopters coming at them from the south. Behind the motorcycle and dragster however…

"Mabel, I think Graupner is doing another 'throwing everything he's got' at us thing," Dipper gulped as his eyes focused on the distant background.

"What makes you say-" she turned and scanned past Zander. Six more trucks, now piled in by similar looking cultists, all drove as fast as they can to catch up with the gang. "Oh. Oh yeah, that's not too good."

"I hate to use his idea, but Zander's right!" Dipper decided, "they were ready for us on the highway! If we can find a place that doesn't have as much road functionality as a highway does-"

"Find a what!?" Mabel shouted at him.

"Find a smaller road or something!" Dipper shouted.

The lights on his car reflected off a sign ahead, and his eyes flickered to it. A state park was coming up in the next exit.

"I got it," Dipper smiled to himself, turning the car to the appropriate turn. Mabel stared at him as a small 'tic-toc' sound filled the room. After a moment, and after changing lanes, Dipper looked back. "What?"

"We're being chased by, like, a hundred crazed people, and you're using blinkers," Mabel snorted.

"Rules of the road aren't above anyone, Mabel!" Dipper shouted, his face flashing with heat. "Ignore the laws of safety, and we enter anarchy!"

"Yeah? You can tell that to the guys riding on top of the truck with the microphone," Mabel laughed.

"Who in this car hasn't crashed their bikes at least twice?" Dipper retorted, checking behind the car to see Wendy and Soos following in pursuit, "oh wait, not me!"

"At least one of those times was because reality was being exploded!" Mabel shouted back.

Arguing their way into the forest until the car came to a screeching halt, Dipper and Mabel found a brief truce as Soos jumped out of the car with Waddles, who squealed and bounded over to Mabel.

"Waddles! Buddy!" Mabel cried out as she lowered herself to him.

"Dudes, that was some 'Angry Alfred' stuff back there?" Soos called out, panting as he ran to them. "Makes me so happy that like, only two of them had actual guns."

"What's Angry Alfred?" Dipper asked.

"Eh, you know, standard post-apocalyptic movie, except mostly about cars," Soos shrugged, "I hear they're making a sequel about it, but I dunno, probably won't be any good."

Before Dipper could rationalize Soos's input, Wendy's bike came up to them and stopped, as the redhead stepped off and next to them, a sway in her step. Dipper rushed to her, his hands out for her to grab.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Being chased down by a monster thing like that- doesn't matter if you're dead or not, man. Freakin' intense," she admitted. She ruffled a hand through her thick red hair, and all Dipper could do was let his hands fall to his side and watch for a moment. After all, if he couldn't enjoy the small, pretty things, times like these would be unbearable. Wendy sighed, shaking Dipper from his day-dream, and she asked, "So why are we here? In a state park?"

"The size and number of cars chasing us-"

Soos cut in after Dipper, "which will be here super-soon-"

"Yes, thank you Soos," Dipper grumbled.

"No prob, dude."

"-Won't be able to funnel effectively onto such a small path. One by one, or at best, two by two, they'll come crashing in. This tighter space," Dipper turned about to the park entrance with dim light provided by a small path lamp, "will allow us a vantage- they won't be able to get a surround on us as long as we stay mobile!"

"Right!" Mabel cheered, holding a very nervous Waddles," staying mobile!"

"Once they're here, all we have to do is keep on our feet while knocking those who catch up to us out! Eventually they have to run out of people! We'll out-strafe these cultists, and send them back crying to Grauper!"

"Who'll probably torture them to DEATH!" Mabel cheered.

"Wow," Wendy said, staring at the triumphant Mabel.

"Yeah, really Mabel?" Dipper asked.

"A little dark there, dawg," Soos admitted.

"I have my moments," Mabel shrugged, unhampered.

The scraping of Pebbles, the grinding of tires, and the shouts and yells of coming people had the four turn back to the street.

"One more time," Wendy quietly said aloud as the night became brighter and brighter, car-lights flooding the forest before them, "the plan?"

"Stay mobile, stay together, and don't get cornered-"

The garbage truck made its grand arrival- crashing into the thickest tree on the path and wedging itself into it. Glass rained into the woods and the man ontop of the vehicle lurched forward, losing grip of his prized microphone.

"Get ready for-" Dipper started.

He was cut off by yet another member of the party- this time so panicked and terrified that he ran into the forest.

"WADDLES, NO!" Mabel screamed, and ran after him.

"Wait! Stay together!" Dipper shouted, watching his sister flee after her pig.

"Aw, shoot dawg," Soos stammered slightly, and then ran after Mabel.

"Let's go!" Dipper nodded to Wendy, ignoring the calls to war behind them as the members of the truck began to unload. "Of all the times for Waddles to lose his cool!" Dipper snapped as he ran into the woods.

"He is just a pig," Wendy pointed out.

"A pig who's seen at least ten times more craziness than any other pig on planet earth! Or animal for that matter!" Dipper exclaimed, only to then doubt his thought as he squinted, "at least that I _know_ of."

"Mabel!" Soos ahead called out, "Dipper said to stay together!"

"He's trying to run into a ditch!" Mabel called back.

"No!" Dipper shouted with great agitation.

"Dipper says to not let that happen!" Soos called ahead.

"He just ran into the ditch!" Mabel cried back.

"C'MON!" Dipper roared. "I asked for three things! Only three!"

"Dipper," Wendy turned to him, stopping in her tracks, "hold on a sec."

"Huh? What is it?" Dipper quickly asked, worry filling his mind as he studied her serious stare.

"If Waddles is going to get everyone cornered, I gotta play bait," Wendy said. "I'm going to run off that way," she pointed to her right, "and see if they don't tag after me.

"What?! Wendy, we need to stay together!" Dipper declared, his mind now flashing images of what he could find if something bad were to happen to her. "The plan can work still!"

"We gotta think on our feet, Dipper," Wendy admitted. "Besides, only those two stupid bikers had guns. And even if those guys have weapons," she pointed to the coming men and women, "what can they really do to me anyway?"

Dipper stared at her, hating his every brain cell that agreed with her logic. His mind, his emotional side craved her to be near him, where he could protect her, and her him. Where he could see her, know that she was still fine.

Then again, she was older than him. And if there was someone out there who could fight on her own and kick-ass and take names, it was Wendy Corduroy.

"Okay," Dipper sighed, "just don't-"

She cut him off, tussling his hair briefly before departing into the woods, shouting and whistling after the men and women rushing into the woods. Dipper saw the movement divert, mostly rushing after Wendy with flashlights. A few still were coming his way.

Dipper turned, and rushed back towards Mabel and Soos, who had managed to slip into a creek.

"Not even a ditch!" Dipper complained. Turning to Soos, he found Mabel, kneeling into the water next to a fallen tree. "What's wrong? Did the tree fall?"

"Waddles ran under here!" Mabel cried, reaching inside. "Come out Waddles! Please!" she demanded. From under the fallen tree, Dipper could hear the cries of the frightened pig, who had managed to find the safest place for _him_.

"Mabel," Dipper softly approached her, "Waddles will be fine. If you won't be able to get him-"

"I'm not leaving my pig behind us, in woods we don't know, filled with men who want to hurt us! Or WADDLES!" Mable yelled, tears streaming down her eyes, "what if they take him away and hurt him instead of me!?"

"Aw, that's not cool," Soos shook his head, "Waddles never did anything wrong!"

"Exactly! Soos gets it!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Mabel, c'mon, we need to-"

"AHA!"

From above, a new voice cried out. Mabel shot up, her fists at the ready as one of the cultists, a thin, tall man with curly red hair stood above them, black jacket and jeans blending well with the shadows of night around them.

"I found three of the four, all in one spot! Master Kinley will be so grateful of my findings!" the man snarled.

"Master Kinley? Ew," Mabel stuck out her tongue and shivered.

"Graupner isn't the type to reward anyone, idiot," Dipper pointed at him.

"Oh, he is," the man nodded, "I've seen his gifts. He can teach magic. Extend our lives. Make us live forever," the man said with awe. "He will come soon, and when he does," he leaned back, "he will find me watching over your three unconscious bodies!" he roared and dived down after them.

This turned out to be a huge mistake. Aside from Mabel having sufficient training, along with Dipper, and Soos being a pretty big guy, Mabel was emotionally compromised. The sounds of combat pouring out from the creek were entirely one sided. After a brief interlude, the single cultist tried desperately to climb back out. "H-help! They're strong! They know the Paaaaaaaths-" he cried as six hands grabbed back onto him, and dragged him back down into the water to finished their dirty work with him.

Standing over the soaked and beaten body, Dipper heaved a lout sigh and looked to his sister. "Mabel, if Graupner is coming, he'll probably be able take us down with one shot in a place like this. That fire spell of his works perfectly in a super-closed space."

"I thought we wanted super-closed spaces!" Mabel cried out, "you said you wanted it!"

"While being mobile!" Dipper argued.

"Guys," Soos butted in, "c'mon, work together here."

"Right, sorry," Dipper nodded, as did Mabel.

"Dipper, look," Mabel reached out and grabbed his hand, "I won't leave Waddles behind. Not like this."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that," Dipper nodded, ignoring the sounds of Helicopters circling overhead.

"I can take care of myself, and Soos is getting pretty good at beating up people too," she admitted, giving Soos a satisfied smile.

"I think I knocked out two incisors from that dudes mouth just now!" Soos declared.

Dipper nodded. "That won't mean anything if Graupner gets here. I doubt he'd just let us fight him. More like he'd just torch the entire creek."

"So what do we do?" Mabel asked.

Dipper smiled. "You do your thing," he said, backing away, "I'll do mine."

"Dipper," Mabel closed her eyes for a moment, "just… don't get hurt again, okay?

"Relax," Dipper smiled," Zander showed me how stupid I was last time. I wont make the same mistake again."

"Okay bro. Go beat 'em up," she grinned at him.

"You two- oh, on your left!" Dipper pointed as three men arrived, diving off the side towards Soos and Mabel.

Dipper ran away from the stream side. His sister's voice, smashing out and battling the cultists of the Warlock, echoed in the air. Three gone in, and he even saw more rushing into the stream. By the sounds of it, she was still clearly in control of the whole thing.

He could also hear Wendy out there, distant from Mabel and Soos. Dipper turned about, looking for her. The woods were dark, and only the lights of the two helicopters flying in circles overhead occasionally lit an area for them- aside from the one that circled over Mabel, Soos, and Waddles.

Finally as he passed by a tree, Dipper saw her. Wendy.

She was on the playground, weaving around the supporting metal columns that held up the plastic, rubber, and steel kingdom meant for children. As much as she would avoid someone and then deliver a kick or punch back, she would also receive a blow. It didn't stop her- Wendy seemed incapable of slowing down.

Dipper made to run at her, starting forward. Then three cultists rose up from a hill before him, and lunged.

"Dang it!" Dipper growled, ducking under the first and kicking back at him. As his foot made contact with the man's back, a woman grabbed onto his arms and threw herself, and him to the ground.

Now rolling away from his allies, Dipper made a bolstered effort to work with the turns of the hill to escape the woman. He elbowed her in the side as she toppled with him, and she slid away, groaning and clutching her side. He stood up, now at the base of the small incline of a hill. One man was starting to stand, and the other jumped at Dipper, his fist pulled back for the attack.

"Stop it!" Dipper shouted, side-stepping the flying punch. As he retreated, the flying offender landed, and followed, throwing a flurry of fists and punches towards Dipper, who evaded all that came at him, smaller and more trained than the man before him. "Do you really think Graupner is going to help people!? He's insane!"

"He will grant us-" he swung at Dipper, who ducked, "great immortality!" he then kicked at the twin, who leapt back.

"And we will be rewarded with power!" The woman said, rushing up behind the man throwing the fists.

"Okay, fine!" Dipper took out heavy step back, and readied himself. "you're all brainwashed! I'm so sorry, but I'm going to knock that brain... washed... out of you!" he shouted.

The man lunged forward again, and drove a fist straight at Dipper's face. He ducked, wrapped his arm and palm onto the offending arm, and then pivoted. With the forward momentum of the attacker and Dipper's re-direction, the man twisted off his feet and slammed into a tree, face first.

Managing to step over the slumping man's legs, Dipper continued to retreat away from the lunging woman. She again trained to grab hold of him, arms out stretched. This time Dipper grabbed one and turned, flipping her to the ground. As she fell, Dipper kneeled and drove his fist into her stomach twice. A loud cough and groan later, she was clutching her stomach in pain.

"Two out of-" Dipper grinned and stood up.

The third, and technically first of the three that had come for him, threw a jab into his face. A blinding flash of white seared his mind, and Dipper stumbled back. Cold trickled down his lips from his nose, which throbbed with pain.

"Great, you can throw a punch," Dipper wiped away the cold form his lips, which as he scanned his hand, realized was his blood.

"You're going back with me, Pines," the man said, his arms at his side in a boxer stance.

"I'm not going anywhere I don't want to," Dipper scowled, flicking his hand away, scattering his blood onto the leaves around him. With a moment to study his foe, Dipper re-positioned himself, and prepared. He wouldn't be the aggressor here.

The man took his cue, and slid forward, jabbing out again. Yet Dipper saw the bluff that was a feint punch, and quickly countered. He struck out at the coming fist with an uppercut. He predicted correctly- the placement of the actual jab was exactly where he needed it to be. Dipper managed to hit a tender spot- the pocket of the elbow, with his own fist.

The man gasped and pulled back his injured arm, throwing him off balance as he turned to one side. Dipper, his mind racing at a million miles a minute, saw the chance. The knee was exposed, and he swept at it with his own foot. The cultist-boxer tried pulling back at the same time, which lowered the weight of the foot. He stumbled to the side, now off balance.

Dipper only had to turn to face the side-stumbling man, and lift a foot forward. Kicking outwards against the attacker, Dipper threw the man against a tree with a heavy thud. The boxer gasped and fell forward. His eyes dropped to the ground as the head fell limp.

Dipper stood above him, a fifteen year old having beaten, by Dipper's guess, someone in his mid-twenties. He just took on three men and women, alone, and beat them. It was a thrill strong enough to almost block out the throbbing pain in his nose.

"I'm actually... decent at this," he mused, looking to his bruised and scraped knuckles.

Something primeval in his mind roared a warning as loud as a gunshot. Dipper spun about to look into the woods. Something triggered his senses beyond scent or smell or even hearing.

A wall of black flame raced towards him.

"NO!" Dipper dived out of the way, rolling behind one particularly thick tree among many. The terrible wrath of black fire passed by him, eating at the spot he had only just been. Without looking behind him, Dipper heard the footsteps over the flames and embers now catching in the trees.

"Pines, g-good to see you ag-g-gain," the voice of Graupner Kinley called out from the darkness on the other side of the three.

"Warlock," Dipper called back.

"G-going to stop hiding behind th-that t-tree?" he asked, his lighter voice reached Dipper.

"Going to ever fix your stutter?" Dipper called back.

There was a silence from the other end. For a single moment, Dipper grinned, certain that he may have struck verbally below the belt. Then, that mystical sense, coupled with the roaring of wind, and Dipper dived out from behind the tree. It was instantly devoured by another jet of black fire, with swallowed the trunk hole.

As he ran into the darkness of the night, Dipper finally saw him again. The Warlock, Graupner Kinley, not thirty feet away. His hands shone with the remains of the black fire, and he wore new robes- black, multilayered and hooded. As Dipper dived behind a new cluster of trees, the cackling voice called out.

"You know it-it's rude to make fun of someone with a st-st-stutter," Graupner snarled loudly, shouting over the crackling flames he caused.

"I make an exception for you," Dipper called back.

"You shouldn't hide," Graupner shouted, "I'll just f-find you in the end."

"Sure, and you shouldn't use magic," Dipper retorted, "seems fair, doesn't it?"

Another pause. Dipper honed every sense he had on the spot he knew Graupner had been at. Even with the distance sounds of Mabel, Wendy, and Soos fighting off the multiple cultists, he was able to detect Graupners presence. Then there was the shuffling of cloth and breaking of twigs. He was approaching.

"Ok-kay, Pines," Graupner called back, "I'll take that b-b-bet."

"You'll what?" Dipper gasped.

"I won't use magic if you c-come out," he replied, coming closer.

"Just those knives of yours, huh?" Dipper asked, slowly lowering himself to a large branch next to him. Giving it a quick check, he felt it's solid weight. Not rotten or frail- still somewhat living and plenty heavy for a swing. With it in hand, he stepped out, holding the stick at the ready. Graupner was no man of his word.

Yet no fire came his way. The one-eyed spell-caster stared out before Dipper, his hands at his side, even without knife or dagger. Graupner's face was split in a grin.

"I'm g-going to b-be more than fair, D-Dipper," Graupner called out.

"Are you?" Dipper snorted, still approaching. "I have my doubts."

His words didn't deter the Warlock. "I k-killed your friend," he blurted out.

Dipper stalled. Lips numb, he looked out. "What did you say?" he asked quietly.

"Yuki's d-dead, and I take c-credit for it," Graupner admitted, holding his hands out from him on either side. Dipper's trembling grasp on the branch tightened, small bits of uneven shavings cutting into his palm. He was sure that his head was ringing with this terrible cry- like a monster in pain. Graupner saw him twitch, and he smiled. "You g-go ahead, and t-take three swings on me."

"What?"

"Th-three hits. You c-c-can hit me three t-times and then we'll play for real," Graupner said.

"Oh," Dipper nodded, the throbbing sound of rushing blood in his ears overcoming his senses," since you put it like that, I-"

Dipper charged at him, his feet digging so hard into the dirt that he sprayed a trail of leaves and twigs in his wake. He was still twenty feet away, and Graupner had all the time in the world to react. All he did was flinch, and let Dipper come.

"ONE!" Dipper roared, and swing the branch like a baseball bat at his stomach. The cloak did little to protect the Warlock from the impact. The branch held firm as the ribs of the man it struck against bent inwards, yet not breaking. Graupner Kinley gasped as every inch of air in his lungs escaped him.

Dipper spun, turning about to position himself to Graupner's side. "TWO!" he roared, and swing at Graupner's knee-pocket.

The leg bent forward as the end of the branch collided with softer inner-leg. Falling to the ground with a pained wheeze, the Warlock turned and looked up to Dipper, his one eye leaking tears.

He found Dipper, both hands above his head, holding the branch as a mighty weapon.

"THREE!"

Dipper drove the stick as hard as he could downward. The path was true, and the Warlock made no effort to move. With a resounding and sickening crack, the branch and the Warlock's head connected. He fell to the ground instantly, his eyes open and blank.

Dipper heaved as he looked down at the unmoving body. With the smallest realization, he noticed his branch had snapped in half, and was dangling from the middle.

"I'll deal with you later," Dipper grumbled, and tossed the branch aside, and turned back towards the entrance of the woods, to his friends and sister.

Then that instinct flared in his mind, and he rolled aside just in time to avoid a burst of that same black fire. Now behind a tree, Dipper panted.

"HOW ARE YOU STILL UP!?" Dipper shouted, glancing around the tree.

"B-Because you're st-stupid, Pines," Graupner chuckled, standing up slowly and dusting off his cloak, "I'm not th-the same as you anymore."

Dipper cursed himself mentally, and turned back to the tree. "So, you really are a Wraith?"

Graupner let out another bark of a laugh. "D-Don't b-be ridiculous. I'm above that now. I'm something more. I t-took the spell to it's absolute completion. I am now the one true _Lich_."

The name ran a cold shiver down Dipper's spine. Instinctively he raced a hand for his vest and pulled out his Grunkle's journal- number 3. The older notes had nothing on the more specific types of undead, but Dipper had ensured to add anything and everything he had found in his research. There was a difference to Liches and wraiths.

"Impressed, P-Pines?"

"Impressed that you have enough brain cells left in your head to talk still!" Dipper shouted as he shoved away the journal. "If you're not a wraith, you'll have a way to be destroyed!"

"Oh, you th-think so?" Graupner chuckled. "Th-then b-by all means, t-t-try me."

Dipper gripped his fists together and clenched his jaw. This would be a moment in all the training Mabel had provided, and put to the test.

Her words floated into his mind.

_You have to feel a light in your head._

Dipper closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could manage without forcing the image onto himself. His senses sharpened and his readiness increased. From Arline to Mabel, and from sister to Brother, Dipper would take his chances now.

He turned out from the tree and rushed at Graupner again.

Fire blasted out at Dipper. He ducked. He dodged aside as more fire blasted at him.

Again and again he avoided and evaded each of the attacks. Graupner grew increasingly frustrated. Each miss he snarled and snapped low curses in foreign languages at Dipper, so alien and odd to his ears that it could have just as well been gibberish. But he grew closer- Dipper was gaining distance.

One final blast of the demonfire and Dipper wove around and threw a heavy punch across the Warlock's eye. The blow was solid, and Graupner gasped and spun aside, clutching his head. Dipper wouldn't let another opportunity slip. Again and again he struck out, making each hit strong enough to count without sacrificing his own pacing or footing.

This wasn't going to be a Dipper who made a mistake in battle. He remembered the cost of becoming compromised. Graupner made the mistakes now, and Dipper would use each one to his advantage. Sixteen strikes and counting, and Dipper stepped back and avoided a floating dagger rising up from the cloak to cut at him.

The staggering spell-caster then landed his foot calmly and sighed. "D-damn. You d-d-dodge to well to be cut anymore."

Dipper stared at the foe before him. This… this was what it must be like to fight Wendy. Someone who, no matter how hard, or how many times you hit them, feel nothing. A true terror. Undead.

"I'm just getting warmed up," Dipper threatened.

"Oh yeah? I call your b-bluff, Pines," Graupner sneered.

"What makes you think it's a bluff?" Dipper demanded, keeping to his stance.

"All you've ever learned from your d-dumb sister was how to throw a p-p-punch," the Warlock laughed. As he did, he shook his head. "The p-paths. They think th-that if you can keep punching and k-kicking long enough, you can c-control powers. Maybe you c-c-can, in twenty years!" the Warlock roared with laughter.

Dipper felt his knuckles in the cool summer air. Against all his hopes and wishes, he felt the pain of striking skull and bone boring into his skin. They were raw and worn with the previous fights, and now this one on top of it. Graupner's laughter filled the air, and all he could do was sit there and watch.

Unless…

Dipper lowered his hands and slowly reached inside his vest. The feeling of book spine pressed back against his finger tips and Dipper slowly pulled out the third journal. Graupner turned and stared at him, as Dipper turned to a page, any page, with something on it he could use.

He wouldn't let Graupner get the best of him.

He did have more than one option to use now.

Clearing his throat, Dipper called into the air, "_Authritea naudi, babraki kuokulo, athiri natirii_-"

"What is this?" Graupner snorted, "c-casting a 'spell'?" he asked quoting the word.

Dipper pressed onward. "_Sylvani, Sumouni. Enthralious_!"

A gust of wind expelled out from Dipper, tossing twigs and leaves and even dust from the ground. The Warlock blinked as his smile faded from his face.

All around them, groaning of wood became louder and louder. To Dipper's shock, but even more so, to the Warlock's shock, trees began to stand up and move above, faces etched in their bark as they looked around, a deep, earthy moan as they peered about in the darkness.

"What is th-this!?" Graupner shouted.

"Summoning tree-spirits," Dipper smirked, looking back to Graupner, "just to level the playing field a little bit.

"How?!" Graupner barked, "how d-did you do that!?"

"You know, that's not all _I_ can do!" Dipper snapped, spotting a simpler, much more refined spell. "_Adripio adtonitus!_"

Dipper nearly dropped the journal as light expelled around his fingertips. Cackling with energy, Dipper found that on each of his fingertips, a buzz of lightning now resided, ready to be commanded.

"It's that b-book," Graupner snarled, pointing to Dipper, "you're using th-that book to c-cast magic!"

"Here! Tave a TASTE!" Dipper said, and pointed a finger outwards.

A bolt of lightning, true, terrible lightning, shot outwards towards Graupner. The night around them both vanished into the bright blue light.

Yet in the split moment Dipper had shot the magic forward he gasped. Graupner had extended a single hand, and in his fist, a smoking trail drifted upwards from the palm. Dipper did check his own finger, and found one small charge of lighting missing from his hand.

"So you can c-cast magic," he smirked, a cruel flicker in his one eye, "Let me show you how a p-professional does it, amateur!" Graupner snarled, and then threw his own fist forward. "Dipper dived out of the way, avoiding the fire, and nearly walking into one of the new tree-creatures that was storming about, swiping at the fleeing cultists.

Dipper spun around back to Graupner as the man approached him. Dipper again dived out of the way. Yet the leg of the one tree creature caught fire, and the being screamed, filling the air with a sorrowful moan.

Just as Dipper made to turn and throw more magic at Graupner, the beast between them turned and stomped at him.

"WHAT!?" Dipper shouted, and dived aside. "Why is it attacking me!? I summoned it!

"Feral!?" Graupner laughed, "You summoned _feral_ t-tree-spirits to fight on your b-behalf!?" Graupner leaned against another tree as the one assaulting spirit spun about, flailing as the fires spread across it's body. "That's just p-precious!"

"Shut up," Dipper growled.

"Haha- make me," Graupner snarled.

All he had left was rage and instinct. The spell, however it functioned, was going to aid him, here and now, and put the warlock to shame. Dipper roared and clapped his hands together, unleashing onto the Warlock all nine remaining bolts of lightning simultaneously. The forest burst into new light as day surely came, all by result of Dipper's brief escapade with dangerous magic.

When he could finally see again, both from the shock of the brightness he created and the blast of energy that had dried out his eyes, Dipper blinked and looked forward. Graupner was on the ground, singed and burned.

"Oh… oh wow," Dipper gasped, "I beat-"

"HAH!" Graupner laughed, and then stood up, rolling to a stand as quickly as the lightning had come.

"But…" Dipper stared in disbelief. "You're burnt! Singed! I literally cooked you!"

"Yeah, it-t feels horrible, b-by the way," Graupner said, cracking his neck. Dipper stared at him, seeing the caked and horribly blistered skin rejuvenate before his eyes like shards of frost melting into water. In record time, a man cooked to a crisp returned to his raw, regular, undead self.

"Dang it," Dipper growled, ready to reach back for his book. Only, his head became suddenly very light. He swayed, and grasped the closest stationary tree, holding him stead.

"Uh oh," Graupner stepped closer, opening his palm to create more of his black fire, "someone is feeling a little t-t-tired because of magic-overuse."

"What?" Dipper gasped.

"Pines, you know _nothing_ ab-b-bout magic," Graupner sneered, "you don't just start using magic b-by starting with whatever spell you want. T-Takes study, a lot of pr-practice to learn to ignore the effects of c-casting spells. Especially multiple ones," he added, approaching the winded and dizzy Dipper.

"Yeah? Well I'm up for more!" Dipper shouted, and shoved himself away from his tree, and reached out for his journal. Despite his wishes, however, his body was not ready for the sudden action. The book slipped from his hands and fell to his side as he slipped to his knees.

"Tsk-tsk," the Warlock shook his head, now only feet from Dipper, "and t-to think, when you were making no p–p-progress just p-punching me, at least you could run away. You had your ch-chance, and you c-couldn't even do it now." Dipper crawled away, grasping at the journal and rising to stand. Yet he swayed again, his vision no longer straight. His shoulder hit a tree, and he winced, feeling the muscle clench against the impact.

"Stay still for me, P-Pines. And you can tell your friend, Yuki, th-that he _also_ had his ch-chance to _not_ d-"

A blur of wind separated the words from Dipper. He turned back from the tree, and found another figure in a black cloak before him, and a huge spear of celestial, starry-blackness held out in a wide swing. Graupner had been thrown off his feet and a dozen feet away, rolling to his side.

"So, the apprentice thinks he's in charge, and only after one week," The deepened voice of Zander Maximillion, the Gaurdsman, said as the masked figure watched Graupner crawl to a stand. Two small fireballs ignited in the Warlocks' hands as he glared at the Guardsman. "You really don't think you can kill me with those, do you?" Zander asked him.

"No. I d-don't have to," Graupner answered, and tossed both simultaneously. One aimed straight for Dipper and Zander, which was instantly patted out with a long sweep of the spear. The other flew to the side, and struck a weakened tree- which then fell towards Dipper.

"GRAB ON!" Zander shouted, turning and holding out the spear for Dipper.

Without regard, Dipper did as told, and felt his body lurch in the monuments force that Zander used with his swing. Dipper was lifted up and away from his spot just as the burning tree crashed down to where he had just been.

Dipper stared at Zander, the image of the Gaurdsman swaying before him. Finally he reached out and patted the cloaked arm. "Thanks," Dipper managed.

A small snort from Zander, and he followed up with, "your welcome."

Distant in the woods, the sound of a rising helicopter forced Dipper to turn and watch as Graupner got his getaway. "No!" Dipper shouted, starting to rush after him. The same iron hand that had lifted him away from danger held him back, clamped down on his shoulder like a vice. "Zander, he's getting away!"

"Good. Less to worry about," the Guardsman noted.

"But-"

"Our worries aren't about him. We can get to him one day. We have the world to save right now, remember?" Zander reminded him. Dipper turned around, the cloud of anger and righteousness simmering away.

"He… was talking about Yuki," Dipper admitted.

Zander said nothing, instead looking up to the sky as the helicopter flew overhead, vanishing with it's 'precious' cargo.

"Justice and revenge can come another day. Yuki… was patient, after all," Zander reminded Dipper.

Dipper looked to the mask, wanting to scold him for taking Yuki's name just as lightly. Yet… no ill will was coming from his unlikely ally. Instead, he chose to nod and resign his anger for another day.

"Now… get your sister, Soos, and Wendy out of here," Zander said as he cracked his neck side to side. He walked away, towards the deeper side of the woods, towards the sounds of fighting and screams for retreat.

"What? But we're not done-"

"My students and I have a mission- to cover for you all so you can continue _your_ mission. Collect the stones, and save the world from magic?" Zander reminded him, turning to face him with the mask. "Besides, I don't think you guys really want to be here when my gang and I start taking down these tree spirits. By the way," he asked, "what's up with that?"

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"Tree spirits. There's a bunch of them. Too many. Did Graupner try summoning them or something?"

"Uh, I think so," Dipper shrugged. "Hey, I'll go now, okay? Good luck with all this," Dipper said, and raced past him.

Leaving behind the silent Guardsman, Dipper raced through the combat that was now rampant in the woods. The boy named drew they had met earlier now was brandishing a strange sword, with the shape of the guitar case he carried. The man Mabel identified as 'Rushtar' was giving a hell of a boxing match against a crowd of retreating cultists. The woman with long black hair flew past Dipper, slamming her seemingly petite fist into the center of one of the rampant tree-spirits, which fell with a crash.

"Dipper!"

"Wendy," Dipper gasped, darting underneath a charging Tree-spirit to the red-head.

"The heck is going on now? I was dealing with these crazy cultists, and now trees are running around, playing golf with whoever they find first!"

"Yeah, we should go before we end up on their next par," Dipper commented.

"Find Soos?" Wendy suggested.

"And find Mabel!" Dipper cried, and the two turned, running through even more war torn midnight woods.

There, at the top of the creek, Mabel was carrying a shivering, trembling pig over her shoulder. Soos crawled out after her, covered in mud and dirt.

"You guys look great," Dipper mentioned, looking at Soos.

"Considering Soos and I easily took down twenty five guys and gals, yeah, we're looking pretty good," Mabel admitted, a large bruise over her left eyebrow.

"Also, mud is pretty healthy for the skin," Soos pointed out, holding out his filthy hands, "so I feel less obligated to wash."

"Let's deal with that after we leave!" Dipper demanded.

"What!?" Mabel gasped. "But the cavalry _just_ showed up!"

"Mabel-"

"I wanna see Zander before we go!" she whined.

"Your pigs safety, or satisfying your crush; what's it going to be?" Dipper demanded of Mabel. Her eyes turned to the pig in her arms, and with a deflated sigh, she nodded. "Good, let's get out of her before anything else freaky happens."

"Yeah!" Soos laughed, "like, I dunno, huge tree people coming out of no-where and attacking people indiscriminately." A huge-tree spirit stomped over-head, chasing a crowd of cultists while swinging a half of a tree-trunk. As they ran by, Soos pointed. "Hey dudes, look! That thing I just said is happening! …Cool."

Finally making it to the vehicles, Wendy flipped herself onto the bike, and revved it first. "They didn't touch any of my stuff."

"Mister Pines car is okay!" Soos cried out as he stepped inside, "except for the mud I just splashed everywhere. Whoops."

Mabel scrambled into the car with Dipper. As he took to the driver seat, she reached into the back, checking their items.

"Looks clear!" she called.

With a heavy sigh, Dipper turned the car on, and after Soos and Wendy, went in reverse. The last sights of the battle fading from sight, and his eyelids heavy but mind clear, Dipper drove his sister and pig away from harm.

"So," Mabel said to Dipper, getting in her seat, "you kick butt out there?"

"Eh," Dipper shrugged as Waddles scrambled into the back seats, "took out three guys on my own."

"Nice!" she nodded. "Run into jerk-face himself?" Her brother could only grumbled. "But… everything is okay! I mean, I bet he got away or something stupid," she rolled her eyes, "but at least you're okay? You held up against him again! And nothing bad happened!"

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, giving her his best smile before facing back to the road.

Yet his mind raced at one acknowledgement.

_I am now the one true lich._

Whatever a Lich was, Dipper was certain it wasn't anything better than Wendy. If Graupner was something bad before…

"It's a long road ahead of us," Dipper quietly said, and let the wind caress his face as he drove northward.

* * *

*really sad, pathetic fanfair, but hey, it's really trying*

(EZB bursts forward from the darkness that is 'Author Hiatus') WABAAM WORLD, I'm baaaack!

Man it's been a while. A month! Two weeks longer than it should have been! But hey, that's the world for you, amiright?

…but seriously, am I right? Am I doing 'life' wrong? Someone hand me the life manual. And not the board game, or I swear I'll chew it in front of your face.

So, I want to make this clear to everyone before another panic happens. I'm back this week, but I'm gone again next week. I'm going to PAX East! Sadly, I don't work on a laptop, and that means I can't take this fantastic hobby/other job with me. Sorry folks, got one more week where I post nothing, and then we're back on schedule. Forever. Until the story ends.

I have only a few things to say, but I'm sure I'll think of more while I'm typing. First- you guys, all of you, are so amazing. I screwed up my timing on my off time, and felt so bad about it all. When I finally get back to all you, sending me those wonderful reviews and PM's, and all I see is positivity and love- I die a little on the inside (in a good way!) So, yeah, thank you so much. You guys make having this story worth writing.

And on a similar note: the wonderful human being (may be a celestial being actually… hard to tell) drew something amazing.

: / roseverdict . tumblr post / 142913493330 / oh-i-drew-a-things

You guys know what to do with that. Look it up. And now that my heart grew three sizes that day. (I need a surgeon, actually. Help.)

So, to all you fans, new, old, patient, or bounding up and down ready for more, I bid you a good evening, and thank you so much for being the best parts of my life.

(EZB's heart literally tears itself out of his chest, and runs off screaming)

Hey! I needed tha- (EZB is ded.)

* * *

Sifting through the remains of the woods, the boy named Drew stepped onto the remains of one of the greater tree spirits. The crunch called to his attention, and he gasped, stepping back. "Oops," he gasped, and looked around.

"Careful where you step," the tall woman of long black hair, Rin, reminded him coldly.

"Yeah, got you," he nodded, and stepped closer to the group. "I found at least two more of these things out there," he threw his thumb over his shoulder, barely missing the guitar case on his shoulder.

"That makes seven tree spirits," Maureen the menace said as she walked in.

"Seven?" the boy gasped.

"I found one behind the playgrounds by a stream," she sighed. "They all are sleeping again though."

"Seven of these things stomping around the woods," 'Rushtar' shook his head, "that's just luck for you."

"Is it?" the voice of the guardsman postulated.

"I'd think so too," the dark skinned man, Nadan, added. "They turned most of these cultists on their heels. Probably the only reason that the kids survived until we arrived."

"Good thing this Graupner doesn't know how to control tree spirits," Maureen the menace chuckled.

"Indeed," the Master of the paths quietly noted.

"You'd think he would though," Drew added, "I mean, that horrible black fire is all over the place. Well," he looked about, "_was_ all over the place. He could control magic."

"Not all magic is the same," Rushtar pointed out, "different elements, require regents, heck, components to a spell, like verbal commands or physical cues-"

"Magic _**is**_ magic," the Master snapped, twisting around to view his followers. Rushtar, his calm, sarcastic demeanor fell away and he became silent. "Do not think that because these things exist in the world naturally that anything other than a spell summoned them. If one had arrived, a coincidence could excuse this. Seven is far too many to be allowed in an area like this. They were summoned, and that means magic was used. And magic is-"

"Corrupting," Maureen quickly added, "yes. We understand."

"...Good," The Master nodded. "Collect evidence for our investigation. Anything at all that wouldn't belong and looks recent, bring it along."

"Really?" Drew asked. Rushtar swiped at his head, and the teen winced. "I-I mean, yeah."

As the group spread out once more, beginning to lift charred pieces of wood and chunks of lumber, Nadan approached the Master of the Paths. His voice, deep and dark as the night, echoed around him.

"You seem troubled by the spirits," he noted.

"Troubled is a word," the master agreed, "I know only a little about the Warlock. His methods of magical use are... limited. He prefers direct, potent abilities. That demonflame, for example," he nodded to a burned tree.

"So, this kind of spell is beyond his usage?" Nadan asked. "Perhaps not his type?"

"Maybe," The master turned to him from the woods, "he could be discovering the source that his master before him used, and added to his repertoire. Still..." the master leaned down to the fallen tree-spirit, and touched the no longer animated face. "This man, our _Warlock_... he doesn't strike me as the type to learn something like this."

"How so?"

The master looked up. "Nature would never ally itself to him. He works with terrible, unnatural intents and forces."

"Maybe that is why they all went berserk," Nadan answered, "he summoned their forces, and they turned against him."

"Hmm..." The Master stood up, yet said nothing.

"Shall I go find a new car depot for us to purchase a van?" Nadan asked.

"What would be acceptable," the master nodded, and watched as the large man ran off, leaving the woods for the main streets.

Zander stood there, looking around at the ruin the battle in the woods had caused. Behind his mask, his eyes screwed up in thought. Frowning and squinting at the felled wooden spirit, he mumbled to himself. "Why would he summon these..." Then he shook his head, and stepped forward.

He had more pressing things to do. Orders had to be given. After all, they were without constant transport now, and acting swiftly would be required.

* * *

**Blf ziv zolmv, xsrow. Gsviv rh lmob wzipmvhh uli blf, zmw lmob wvzgs uli blfi kvlkov.**

**-AND-**

**Migyncgym nby vymn junb ni nuey uly nby ihym qy ufihy gomn nlupyf. Uhx migy junbm qy nlupyf niaynbyl ih nolh xiqh xuleyl pyhnolym qy jlyxcwn. Nbcm cm nby uvmifony iz wigvuncha Guacw- nby Qyuls Junbm.**


	80. Ye Olde Fair-Wells: Part 1

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Tork an' Nellys' Pork belly meat and breadshop are open! Come ye all noblepersons who doth wish to sample-"

"Do your eyes deceive you!? No! Come to the only true one of a kind animal on earth like this! Mina, the last-"

"Drinks and Dranks, by Binks and Drake! Ice cold beverages for you knights and squires! As cold as the stoney death!"

The buzz and clatter of the Fair was enveloping. To say that the people who worked at a renaissance fair were odd was a mild understatement. Yet they certainly made a heck of a show of their flaire. Men and women in costumes, ranging from the times of post Roman empire all the way to the ending days of the over-arching European Renaissance, stalked the open allies in the woods in the south of the Americas. Even in the blistering heat and swampy atmosphere, people came in summer, equipped with cameras and wads of cash to be enticed to buy and trade in the strangest of places.

Under the shadow of the large trees above them a line stretched towards a large tent, past a even larger recently constructed cage. In the line, near the front and next to the currently massive animal in her cage, a young lady with short black that barely was long enough to be tied into a pointed ponytail stared at the wooly creature.

The animal was currently drinking from a large fountain as a man with balding black hair washed her side with a hose of gentle current. "There, there," he patted her as she drank heavily form the water before her, "we'll get back to the northern states soon enough. We're done after today."

The animal gave his head an appreciative rub with her hairy trunk.

The man chuckled. "I know the south and wooly animals don't usually mix."

The girl across the fence snorted, catching the man's eyes. Barely under her breath, she muttered, "tell that to Sasquatches."

"Pardon?" he pointedly asked.

"Didn't say anything," she bit back, her brown eyes squinted at the man as he looked over to her. To the young lady's shock, the huge creature turned and blasted her trumpet towards her, and she stumbled back, keeping her footing.

The balding man chuckled. "I think she did hear you," the man chuckled, patting the wooly elephant like creature. "Mina hears all sorts of things."

The girl adjusted her light t-shirt, and yellow jacket that she had tied around her hips. "Whatever."

From inside the large tent, a voice called out to the next in line. "Miss Jones!"

Not skipping a beat while locking her eyes onto the large animal, the girl in the line walked forward. She was nearly an adult based on height and voice alone, but her eyes held a darkness that only experience could teach. By the entrance of the tent, many older men and the occasional tough looking women stared at her, all much older than she. In comparison, this younger lady was a twig to their thicker, more trained bodies. Yet those by the flaps that gave entry stood aside, making sure to not barricade her movement.

Wearing thick, heavy boots that clopped with each step and rough, heavily torn jeans, the woman identified as 'Jones' stepped inside the large tent. A series of landing mats, used for combat practices had been arranged and set up to cover most of the floor. Beyond them, a pair of long tables had been pulled together, and five figures sat across them, awaiting the woman's approach. Once she stopped on the other side of the mats, she crossed her arms and stared.

"Caroline Jones," the first, a portly man with curly brown hair began.

"It's-" she groaned, "yes. Whatever."

"Is there a problem?" a pale women with sharp eyes and black hair asked.

"No," the girl before them stated.

"Well, first of all, we wished you would have stated your previous training," the portly figure stated. "This was supposed to be try-outs for those with little to no experience."

"I know," she sighed.

"Which, being fight masters, young lady," the man continued, his eye fixing on her with a critical stare, "we are aware of your skill. You're not a natural, you've had classes before."

"At least two years worth of classes," another, a thin man with chocolate skin added, "pretty substantial."

"You're saying I'm disqualified?" she bluntly asked, her voice carrying a flex of frustration.

"Not at all," the thin man stated.

"But not putting any official training on the form," the portly man cleared his throat as he lifted a sheet to his eyes, and he adjusted classes to his nose, "was something of a misdeed. If we had known of your previous classes-"

"I didn't _lie_," she grumbled, her arms falling from her chest to her side, stiff.

"Please, Miss Jones," the woman with sharp eyes snorted, "we can tell you're not being perfectly honest."

Miss Jones grinned as her eyes squinted. This challenge was not something she was going to back away from. "On the battle-classes sign up sheet, you specifically asked for any official training or classes we have taken over the past five years. I didn't put anything down because I have never taken classes about any of this before."

"Caroli-"

She turned to the figure on the end of the table, an older lady with a bored look. "And you can please pronounce my name right. I wrote it down on the sheet _for _you." She whipped back to the central man, "everything you saw today? Self taught."

The air under the large canvas grew thick with tension. The five on the table stared with a startled and disapproving apprehension. The woman who stared back sighed heavily, and shook her head.

"Look," she stated after a long pause, "am I disqualified? I need to know. The next bus leaves in an hour."

"Not yet," the man in the center stood up in his seat slightly, his eyes locked onto hers, "but you need to know three things first of all. Firstly, if you are serious about joining our choreography association, you need to improve your attitude," he noted, "we could have just as easily threw you out."

"Fine," she nodded, "sorry."

"Second," he continued, looking to the page, "you need to more forthwith with us. While you may be honest with your background, you clearly have significant skill. Mastering a twenty move choreography in an hour is very impressive, even for veteran students."

The tightly locked jaw of the woman before them loosened, and she nodded. "Thanks."

"And thirdly," he said, "you will need to get your parents permission. We cannot technically hire you without parental consent until you are twenty one."

The girls face shadowed. "Oh. But I'm an adult," she reminded them, "I'm eighteen."

"Maybe legally," the skinny man nodded, "but you need to understand- mentally, you're not quite done yet. Twenty one is even a stretch, but it's the age we all are comfortable having someone sign for their own."

The girl slowly nodded. "Right. I'll, uh, get them to sign them. It may take a while. They're, well, kind of slow these days," she muttered.

"As long as we receive it within the next two days," the man smiled to her, "it won't be a-"

From the din of shouts and calls in the outdoors, a loud cry of panic came echoing in. The five in their seats craned their heads towards the flaps of the canvas, eyes straining to see through the bright lights of the southern sunlight.

Miss Jones however made no hesitation. As soon as the screams flooded in, she was gone. Rushing towards the entrance, she stepped outside.

"What is it?!" people demanded.

"Who's that?" others cried.

The monstrous, wooly elephant was among those who had stepped away from a figure. In the center of a crowd of people (both tourists and workers), a figured covered head to toe in thick, metal armor stood up. As she saw him, the figure finished lowering the helmet to it's shoulders, giving it a brief twist for balance checking.

Then it turned and gazed at her. At Miss Jones. The girl by the tent gasped and nearly fell back.

Glowing yellow eyes peered out at her from under the darkness of the helmet. In the shadow of the helmet, she saw no face to fit those eyes.

Fight. Flight. Questions. Old Answers. Her mind flew into a flurry of noise that had nothing to do with the crowd around her. Instead, she glanced over to a stand of blunted weapons she had used not an hour earlier to audition with, and grasped a longsword with her hands.

"What're you doing!?" a man nearby demanded of her as she stood up with the longsword, and turned to find the armored figure gone. She craned her neck, desperately looking for signs of the being's movement. When she found none, she looked to the man, and tossed the sword back to the table unceremoniously. It clanged and rattled loudly against the other metals.

"Nothing," she grumbled. When the man stared too long, she snapped, "you got a problem!?" He yelped and jogged off.

With a heavy look to the sky, the auditioned shook her head. "More spirits. Always something new under the stars and sun," she then lifted from under her shirt a small necklace. A small metal paw-print belonging to cat was held in her hand. "Guess it doesn't matter where I go now, right?" she asked the paw print necklace. "If that's the case," she smirked, "this spirit is going to see what happens when you mess with _this_ girl."

* * *

Driving through night and morning was no easy task, especially since the night before you had just battled a small army of cultists and their magic-casting leader. Couple that with two weeks worth of constant traveling, and Dipper was exhausted. The bags under his eyes had grown even darker and deeper, and his vision occasionally blurred. The energy drinks and water provided to him caringly by Mabel had helped, and she in turn had taken to keeping him awake by singing her songs.

But as the noon light came to beam down, the car slowly fell silent. Mabel was drifting herself, having had to battle, as she claimed, thirty cultists backed by Soos. "Defending Waddles was hard work," she had yawned once before resting her head against the window.

To accommodate her resting, Dipper took to re-adjusting the mirror every five minutes. After all, he was still missing his driver side mirror, and a whole lot of cracked glass disgruntled him each time he turned to the left.

Then, without warning-

"DIPPER!"

He gasped and shouted. "What!?"

"PULL OVER!" Mabel yelled.

With a screeching of tires and flash of his life before his eyes, Dipper steered his car nearly off the road and into a gulch. As he breathed frantically, he turned to his side, staring at his sister.

"What's going on?!" Dipper Pines demanded, only to receive a clatter of movement. Mabel scrambled out of her seat and out of the car rapidly. Worried now for her safety, Dipper followed suit, only briefly checking to make sure Soos and Wendy, behind him, had parked safely. As they got out of their car and bike, Dipper followed suit, coming to Mabel's side in moments. "Are you okay? Did something bad happen?"

"Everything okay, hambone?" Soos asked as he and Waddles rushed over.

"What happened?" Wendy asked Dipper as she darted over.

"I don't know," Dipper shrugged and shook his head. "We were chilling, listening to the radio and-" he pointed to his sister, who had taken to leaning over and heaving by the gulch. "Mabel," Dipper approached quickly, "what's up?"

"Dipper," she said quietly, her eyes glued ahead, "do you remember your long list of places you wanted to go to?"

"Sure. Knocked one off the list this summer," he shrugged.

"Do you remember mine?" Mabel asked.

"Uh," Dipper blinked, and recalled, "If I recall, we hit most of those just by having parents who wanted to please us, like Disney World and-"

"No, no!" Mabel shook her head, and grabbed his own face, smooshing it against her own, and forcing him to look ahead, "in my reserve lists. What was number one in the 'Mabel will go when older' list?"

Dipper blinked, still looking towards her, and finally stared ahead. A line of trees and bushes obscured the distant view, but his eyesight finally caught up with him. In the distant, a din of crowds and calls of vendors blasted the air, and he finally saw what she had freaked out about.

"The Renaissance fair?!" Dipper snapped.

"YES!" Mabel hollared, leaping up and knocking Dipper over. "THE ONE AND ONLY RENAISSANCE FAIR!"

"Ow," Dipper said, lying on his back.

"Wait, Mabel wants to go to the place where people pretend that buying a leg of turkey is worth twelve dollars?" Wendy asked, helping Dipper to his feet.

"Hah, that's something Mister Pines tried a few years ago," Soos admitted, "it worked great, you know, until someone found out that it was actually possum wrapped around a deer bone."

"I'm also going to point out that there's easily a Renaissance Fair in each state," Dipper grumbled. "So, 'one and only' is kind of off."

"QUIET!" Mabel barked. "This is my moment! MY MOMENT!" she yelled, and took three long breathes, inhaling the air around her with blissful acceptance.

"Man, she's really eating it up," Wendy shrugged.

"Well, back when Mabel made her lists," Dipper explained, "I pointed out that we couldn't have a full experience if we went to certain things as we were- kids. But that only mad Mabel make three _new_ lists," Dipper sighed, "for things she had to do at certain ages. I swear, it was one of the few times her organization rivaled mine."

"Question," Soos raised his hand, "I don't know what a Renaissance fair is."

"That's not a question," Dipper pointed out.

"It's a fair that have people dress like their five hundred years old or-" Wendy started.

Mabel heard her calling, and bull-rushed between them, her arms sweeping out in majestic recognition. With her best story-telling voice, she explained the whole thing.

"'Tis a magical place, where men and women of today's day and age may experience to royalty of the past. To be a knight! A prince! A queen!"

"In that order," Wendy snickered, and Dipper chuckled with her.

"To know that chivalry really isn't dead, and that princesses can still wear huge poofy dresses and be bowed to by street-goers-"

"Wow," Soos butted in, "sounds really fancy."

"DOESN'T IT?!" Mabel shrieked.

"And admittance is only twenty five dollars or something," Dipper said, rolling his eyes, "not to mention drinks, food, and all merchandise is heck expensive."

"So it's like the Mystery Manor went back and time and became a fair?" Soos asked.

"Uhh, I guess?" Dipper shrugged.

Soos, with the most serious of expressions, stared at Wendy and Dipper. "I wanna go," he told them.

"We will go," Mabel grinned.

"Wait, wait," Dipper held out his hands, "we're on a mission now. This is going to be a side-track that will put us behind schedule. Graupner was beaten, and if we stay in one place too long, he could catch up."

"Dipper, c'mon!" Mabel whined, "this is something I have always wanted to do! Soos is super excited!" she remarked, and Soos gave a thumbs up, "and Wendy is so chill that she'd be okay with it!" Mabel also remarked.

"Heh, she's not wrong," Wendy shrugged.

"Mabel," Dipper growled.

"And besides," Mabel patted his shoulder, her voice stabilizing, "Zander and the Paths took out those goons from before. Graupner won't be able to come at us for a bit now. Don't we deserve just a small break? Like for an hour?"

Dipper stared at his sister, once again at the mercy of the one person in his life he had by his side. Together, in the past two weeks, they had battled monsters, warriors, courtrooms, and warlocks. Yet Dipper found the hardest battle was saying no to Mabel when she had that look. And he was smart enough to know that she would not let this down. Sure, he could promise to go to the next one they come across, but Mabel would _not_ let this go. Besides, according to Zander, they had unlimited funds. Why not test it out a bit? Still... even an hour could be dangerous.

A loud snort called to his attention. He snorted. "Well, how about you Waddles? What do you want? Go or stay?" he asked the pink pig.

Waddles moved towards Mabel, nudging his nose against her ankle.

"Well, if that isn't siding with her, I don't know what is," Dipper sighed. "Okay, we can go."

"YEEESSSSS!" Mabel roared.

"But only for an hour," Dipper reminded her. "Besides, it'll be a good change of pace. Not driving all day again."

"And all night," Soos yawned, "besides, my knuckles still hurt from all the dudes I wrecked."

Following signs to the Fair was no hard task. Every five hundred feet or so there was a new, old-fashioned wooden sign that gave a reminder of how far your 'Wagon or carriage' must go before turning. The more signs she saw, the more bouncy and uncontainable Mabel became. Her seatbelt became an enemy of hers as each time she saw one, she would lunge out to get a better view, and the strap holding her would pull tight, choking her briefly. Dipper merely watched a laughed, amused and pleased with her truly characteristic childlike wonder and awe.

Finally, entering a line of cars that was nearly twenty minutes of stop and go speed and finally escaping the terrible traffic, the three vehicals parked on a grassy field that overlooked the clustered forest of tall trees. While the bustle of voices and bright fabrics of many flags called to Mabel, Dipper grumbled and tried his best to not run over un-observant visitors.

"There it is!" Mabel cried a minute later as the four plus pig began to walk towards a series of wooden and painted walls resembling a castle wall loomed into view. "The gates to the kingdom of the past!"

"Literally," Soos nodded. A group of men wearing kilts passed by, and Soos gasped. "Woah. Scandelous."

"Soos, those are kilts," Wendy said.

"They _are_ killing it," Soos replied, misunderstanding. "But think of the children who're short enough to see... _underneath_," he shuddered. Wendy bawled a few short laughs, holding her stomach as they approached the gate.

A middle aged woman wearing a corset and frilled dress glared at them. "Welcome. Would you like a party pass?" she then spotted Waddles. "Animals not leashed are not permitted past the gate."

"What if we purchased fifty tickets?" Mabel winked, and shoved Dipper, and he held out the magical card of infinite money.

The woman stared at them, and looked behind her. "I never saw the pig, and you never bought the tickets from me," she rushed out in a hush. "Whatever happens to that thing is not the fair's responsibility," she warned.

"Pfft," Mabel scoffed as the irritated woman took the bribe and scanned the card, "like anything happens to my animal."

"Uh," Soos scratched his chin, giving Mabel a look.

"Yeah," Wendy said in the same tone.

"Mabel, he _does_ get into trouble," Dipper explained.

"Nuh-uh," Mabel pouted.

"Yeah? How about the time with the pterodactyl?" Dipper asked, and before Mable could retort, he added, "or when he was stolen a few days ago? Or last night?"

"That's only three times!" Mabel yelled, lifting up the pig into her arms. She grunted with his weight, and thrust his face towards Dipper. "Tell that to his face!" she demanded. Dipper cringed, looking at the innocent animal before him.

"Waddles," Dipper slowly said, "I love you, bud, but sometimes you're a handful."

"How could you?" Mabel scowled, and lowered the pig.

"It's being honest, Mabel," Dipper explained, taking back the card held out before him. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Have yourselves a 'good noon'," she said, staring at the spaces where they had just been.

"What a spirited attendant," Soos chimed happily.

"Spirited isn't the word I'd use," Dipper noted, glad to be away from the topic with Waddles, as Mabel suddenly had a dark shadow over her eyes.

"Maybe more like 'is a spirit'," Wendy snickered.

"W-Wait," Soos stammered, staring at Wendy. "She's not actually a-"

"No, Soos," Wendy patted his shoulder and smiled, "I was just joking."

Stepping through the gates and handing away their admission tickets they purchased, the four plus pig found themselves in an uneven landscape of shops and attractions all disguised as medieval shops and services.

"Ohhhhhh my gosh!" Mabel hopped in place, "there's so many cool things! Look!" she pointed to a patrolling vendor in the streets, "hair flowers! It's like normal flowers, only they stick them in your hair!" And then she looked a different way, "and over there are people who _braid_ that hair!"

"For twelve dollar each," Dipper scoffed.

"Like we care," Mabel hissed.

"And a place that does all that... for beards?" Wendy gasped, seeing a trio of men currently braiding and prettying up manly beards.

"Flowers are non-discriminatory," Mabel nodded, "they provide their services to all who ask."

"Ohh," Dipper spied a distant shop, filled to the brim with older teens and men, staring at all sorts of older weapons. "Maybe a souvenir that serves a purpose wouldn't be a bad idea," he hummed, stroking the fuzz on his face.

"No weapons," Mabel scolded.

"What?!" Dipper snapped. "Why?"

"Because they're bad," Mabel shrugged.

"Your fists are basically weapons," Dipper pointed out, "are they bad?"

"Yeah, but everything has fists," Mabel retorted, "and unlike a sword, I can do more with a hand than punch someone." Dipper's mouth sealed shut. "Hehe, gotcha bro," Mabel grinned.

"Funny that you don't view magic that way," Dipper mumbled.

"Well, that's because Magic kinda makes people go crazy and stuff," she argued. Waddles oinked and made towards a shop of pretty dresses and skirts, and Mabel followed.

"Not everyone," Dipper sighed, pocketing his hands.

"You say something?" Soos asked.

"Huh? No," Dipper shook his head and followed his sister.

"Well, aren't these pretty dresses for ladies," Soos said, following the twins with Wendy. He held one of the skirts to his hands, and felt the fabric between his fingers. "Oh! Genuine craftsmanship! Like a sheep giving me a hug, so soft!"

"That's a kilt for men," Wendy explained.

"Yeah, no," Soos instantly dropped it, "I still don't get that."

As Soos walked further inside, attempting to avoid anything that remotely resembled his first sampled clothing, Wendy stepped closer to Dipper, who was staring at Mabel.

"You've got the face of deep thinking again," Wendy told him.

"Huh?" he asked, glancing to Wendy. She merely stared at him with a half-smirk, and he nodded. "That easy to read me, huh?"

"It comes with people you know well," she admitted with a nod.

"Mabel just makes it sound so easy," Dipper grunted, pocketing his hands. "She was taught by Arline for two years straight, who as far as I could tell, was a big deal to the Paths. Mabel just doesn't get how hard it is to keep up with her like that," Dipper scowled.

"Dude, you're her twin. She's not holding anything against you," Wendy smiled.

"I do to myself," Dipper shot an angry look to Wendy. "We're twins!" he hissed quietly, "I'm supposed to keep up."

"Yeah, but she can't even compare to your smarts," Wendy pointed out. Dipper grumbled, and she rolled her eyes. "Dude. C'mon. You are keeping up. I mean, we were caught last in the fight back in Area fifty one."

"Because I did magic," Dipper reminded.

"Yeah, but last night you held your own, alone, as long as Mabel did, with Soos backing her, and while you faced the boss!" she smiled and laid a hand to his shoulder. "Dude, that's hardcore as heck." When Dippers expression darkened and he looked away, she blinked. "Wait," she looked closer, "did you..." Dipper slowly nodded. "Ohh," Wendy nodded.

"Wendy," Dipper leaned to her, "he's like you now. A wraith. Or a Lich, now that I think about it," he corrected himself. "I knocked him around so hard that I thought I was maybe impressive. But he just kept getting back up, and fighting back. I had to try something else."

Wendy gasped. "Those funky tree things?" Dipper nodded. "Dude, that was crazy dangerous!"

"I know, I know," Dipper bowed his head, "I didn't really read through the spell enough! I think it required a few components that I missed that allowed the treants to be controlled, or spoken to-"

"They were attacking anything near them," Wendy added.

"I know," Dipper nodded.

"What would have happened if one got away and wondered into a neighborhood?" she asked.

Dipper closed his eyes, and very stiffly nodded, his muscles tightening. "I know. I... was stupid about it," he grunted. "But that doesn't mean it's bad, just that I did it wrong."

"I mean... you're right," Wendy sighed, "but you gotta see that Mabel's kind of right too," she admitted, "when magic messes up, it can _really_ mess up. Just ask Robbie, and me."

Dipper's head fell, the weight of her words infecting him. It was a great and terrible curse to always expect great things of yourself, but nothing compared to the pain of hearing someone else you wanted to impress tearing you down. His throat clenched up, and for a moment, he could feel that familiar tremble in his lips. He was weak, and Wendy knew it.

Then a soft pair of fingers reached to his chin and lifted them up. As he stared up at those green orbs of Wendy's eyes, she gave him a smile that could have melted all the ice on Gravity Falls mountains. "Dude, chill. You're still the stupidly smart kid I've always known."

"Kid?" he gave a watery chuckle, "I thought we officially said I'm a teen!"

"Fair enough," she said, lowering her hands and settling to just smile at him. She glanced into the shop, checking on the distant Mabel and Soos. "Look, Dipper," she started.

"Yeah?" he asked, his eyes dreamily staring into her face.

"I know you're still... kind of shy about the whole magic thing," Wendy started, "and I'm not going to back out of my promise, but you gotta tell them soon."

"What?!" he gasped.

"If you don't tell them, they'll find out on their own soon enough," Wendy stated.

"Or they won't," Dipper argued.

"Look, man," Wendy shook her head, "as queen of all that is hiding secrets from friends, I'm telling you-"

Mabel leapt between the two of them with a triumphant bellow. "I found an awesome frilled shirt for Dipper! Try it on!" she demanded.

"Mabel, I'm not wearing that," he snarled at her.

"C'mon, you can at least try it on?" Mabel pleaded.

"I'll give the shop a quick look through. May want to consider stocking up on extra clothes in case, you know, someone shoots me again or something," Wendy said and stepped past them.

As she did, Dipper watched her go, a longing sigh befalling from his lips. Mabel smirked and leaned over. "So, when are you two going public?" she asked.

"Mabel," Dipper growled.

"Ohhh, no you don't," Mabel wiggled her finger, her voice gaining pitch as she smirked, "I heard you talking a little before I came oveerrrr."

"Y-you did?" Dipper gulped.

"Mmhmm," Mabel leaned in closer, "and I can smell secret, blooming relationship when I hear it," she admitted. Dipper's tense shoulders fell forward, no longer held in fear. "Tell us soon, or we're going to find out on our own, Dipper? C'mon."

"We could be talking about anything," Dipper replied truthfully.

"I doubt it," Mabel smiled.

"And Wendy and I have an... agreement," Dipper reminded her, "more like a non-aggression act. For dating."

Mabel gasped, and smacked her forehead. "I get it!"

"Y-you do?"

"That's why you keep arguing for magic," Mabel nodded, "you think it'll cure Wendy," she gasped, and then smiled, "and then nothing's in your way. She'll be super thankful!" Mabel smiled, "that's super sweet."

Dipper's stomach knotted. His face heated with her implications, and the uncertainty boiled into a new feeling- anger. "Mabel, if you think that I'm trying to cure Wendy _just_ so I can date her-" he snarled, his face growing hotter.

"Whoa, whoa," she held up her hands, "calm down tiger. Sorry," she admitted, taking half a step back from her brother. "Was just teasing."

"Well... don't," Dipper scoffed, glancing towards Wendy.

"Well, if you two weren't talking about a secret relationship," Mabel slowly continued, "what were you two talking about?"

Dipper whipped to his sister. "I can't tell you."

"Really? Bro," Mabel laughed, "we're twins. Secrets shant come between us."

"Tell that to Jace and Jess," Dipper grumbled.

"Okay, so once I held a promise to someone I sorta liked at the time," Mabel rolled her eyes, half nodding. "But c'mon! It can't be that serious."

"Mabel, I know we keep things open," Dipper noted, "but this is.. something you wouldn't want to hear."

With that, Mabel's expression changed. She suddenly glanced inside the shop, a fearful and stunned stare into the shaded interior. In a flash, she gave Dipper a dirty glare, and then stormed inside without a word, leaving him to face Waddles, who stared at him.

"What?" he asked the pig.

Waddles oinked.

"Don't patronize me," Dipper grumbled, and walked past him.

At the will of Soos, the four plus pig began to scout throughout the shops. Slowly, they began to amass small trinkets and doodads that Soos 'absolutely needed' to collect. Dipper was hard pressed to be moved past the weapon shops, desperate to get a glance at a katana or large sword of choice, and Soos only half-supported dragging him away.

"I mean, if they have a buster sword, we need to buy one," Soos admitted as they pulled a fuming Dipper away from the glass cases of rapiers.

Next they visited a shop entirely dedicated to family seals. To no one's shock, the Pines were, what else, trees, trees, and lots of trees.

"Corduroy, eh?" a portly, short man with no hair nodded as they sought one for Wendy's family name. "There's one pin here, actually," and he lifted up one of a sewing wheel and shield.

"Wow, really?" Wendy chuckled, looking to it.

"Of course!" the merchant grinned, "Corduroy crest means a strength of character, supposedly so sturdy that it lasts beyond any labeled expiration date!"

After that descriptor, Wendy shoved the pin away and made a visible attempt to leave in a mood. Mabel bought for herself a wide, flowery hat, and for Dipper a pair of leather bandoliers he could hide under his best- easily outfitted for his own journals.

"Now I con consult any of them when I need to," he admitted with a small grin.

"What's next on the agenda?" Mabel called to the four. "We could go watch a fight between actors and actors pretending to be better than the others? Or- or maybe we could see people on horses try stabbing each other? Or-"

"We're nearing that hour limit," Dipper hummed. To that, Mabel groaned.

"Fine! We just need to get something to get for Waddles!" Mabel stated.

"Why not a suit?" Soos suggested. "A dapper pig sounds like the best kind."

"Soos, you and I think so alike sometimes," Mabel smiled.

"I dunno, he'd probably just eat it," Dipper scratched his head.

"He'd still appreciate it though," Wendy added.

"Let's get him a kilt! And BOOTS!" Mabel roared.

"Where are we going to find a shop that sells pig-sized kilts and boots?" Dipper laughed.

"Well," Mabel reached inside one of the bags tucked around Soos's arm, "according to this very convoluted and terribly designed map they give out for free," Mabel scanned the details, "there's a circus stopping by that has a solo exhibit. They have like two vendors that sell animal stuff. Maybe nearby there we can find something for Waddles!"

"Sounds cool, swine of class?" Soos asked Waddles.

The pig oinked in agreement.

Mabel in the lead, the four made their way to a large clearing in the forest with a variety of massive tents sprawled about. The smell of a large, exotic animal drifted across the air, but the four made their bee-line for the shops.

"I swear I've smelled that before," Dipper mentioned, trying to glance around the crowd to get a sight on the focal point of the smell.

"Maybe moose or something," Wendy suggested.

"That'd be awesome," Mabel ground her teeth together. "Maybe we could ride it! Like a war-moose!"

"That's stupid," Dipper smirked.

"You're stupid," Mabel cleverly retorted.

Then Waddles squealed loudly. The four turned, and barely had a moment to react as the pink pig rushed away, heading in the exact direction of the strange exotic smell. "Wait! Waddles!" Mabel cried out, reaching out to stop him.

"Here we go again," Dipper growled.

"He's just, nervous or something," Mabel defended her beloved pig, scowling at her brother as they gave chase. Racing around confused or startled visitors among the crowds, the four raced after the pig, Mabel crying out for her beloved pet the entire way. "Waddles!"

Finally, with a loud trumpet of sound that stalled the four and caused the crowds to jolt in shock, Mabel and Dipper saw the source of Waddles excitement.

"No way," Dipper cried out, grinning despite his internal frustration.

"Time seperated them," Mabel swoon, stepping forward to her pig, who was prodding his nose against a fence, "but fate brought two lovers together again! Mina!" she cried out, also rushing to the metal mesh fence.

A large mastodon, with wide, dark expressive eyes had come trotting over, reaching over the fence to wrap her trunk around Waddles, and lift him onto her back without a moment's hesitation. Mina, now with Waddles atop her, shifted to stand before Mabel and Dipper, her eyes easily noticing them for her rescuers.

"Mina! You look lovely!" Mabel said, reaching over the fence to pat the animal.

"Hey!" a voice from the back called, "don't hurt Mina! She's hot these-"

A man with balding dark hair stepped out, mopping his sweaty head with a hand-sized towel. As Wendy and Soos arrived, his eyes fell onto Mabel, and he smiled. "I remember you, young lady!" he laughed, "Mabel! The girl who had rescued Mina!"

"Mister Gullian," Mabel waved at him, "I didn't know you and Mabel enjoyed ye olde times!"

"Well, the circus is setting up to move, but Mina was feeling restless. I told her we could find a place here, and she seemed to like the idea," the man chuckled, coming over to the fence to better see Mabel. "Ah, you have friends with you this time. I don't see your other blond friend, what's her face..." he paused, his eyes going distant for a moment. "Hm. Can't remember. It'll come to me," he assured them.

Mabel grinned, and grabbed her brother. "This is my younger twin, Dipper!"

"Younger? Really?" Dipper growled.

"And Soos, our friend and everything in between," Mabel pointed to him, and then to Wendy, "and warrior princess Wendy!"

"A pleasure," he nodded to each. He patted Mina's side, and said, "lower the piggy, Mina. I'm sure he's happy up there, but you know we'll be packing up soon." With a hesitation visible to the five, Mina slowly lifted her trunk, and lowered Waddles, who gave only the smallest of protests as he was lowered to Mabel's feet. "I didn't know you all traveled a lot," the caretaker turned to Mabel. "I thought you all lived in that town... what was it called... Gravity Talls? No, that's not right. Blast."

"Falls," Dipper corrected him. "You remember Gravity Falls?" he asked with a building excitement.

"Well, honestly, not very well," the man admitted with a shrug, "and it's the strangest thing. I have a great recollection when I have a good time in places. And while I remember finding Mina at that place, the name, the faces... hm... escape me? Strangest thing," he shrugged.

As Wendy and Dipper exchanged a significant glance, Soos stepped closer, patting the Mastadon. "It's good to see that such a fine creature has done a good job adapting to a lifestyle of travel and style." Mina returned the favor, patting Soos's arm. "Oho! You're so sweet," Soos chuckled.

"She's actually quite the natural," Mister Gullian nodded. "I credit it to her being locked in ice for so long, but she's rather patient with people, myself included. I still catch her staring at people who wear shirts with pigs on them from time to time, but what can you do?" he asked with a small chuckle.

"Aww, she misses you," Mabel leaned down to the pig, rubbing his cheeks.

"Good thing she had a distraction too," the man sighed, "ever since the impromptu show, she's been startled to heck and back."

"I love impromptu shows!" Mabel gasped. She grasped Dipper's vest and shook him. "Let's wait until we find one and watch it?"

"We need to get going soon anyway," Dipper firmly stated, and shook her off.

"You all wouldn't want to see it anyway," the man admitted, a weary glance over their heads and into the crowd.

"Why?" Soos asked, "we love things that don't try killing us and are semi or barely contain entertainment value."

"Well, aside from the great special effects they used, it was really boring," Mister Gullian shook his shoulders, "eerie and creepy, but nothing exciting happened."

"Special effects?" Dipper asked.

"These places don't spend money on effects," Wendy stated, glancing to Dipper in agreement.

"What exactly happened?" Dipper asked.

"Well," Gullian stepped closer, "this figure, dressed in easily the most impressive suit of full metal armor I'd seen since I've started business here," he affirmed with nod, "just arose from the crowd. The thing was, no one could see who was inside. People started panicking, thinking a ghost or something had come to life in the armor. But he just turned and walked away, demanding people stand aside."

"He looked like a ghost?" Wendy repeated.

"What does that exactly mean?" Dipper asked. "Was there an aura about him?"

"Aura?" the man repeated.

"An area surrounding him of a certain color, with a diameter between one and five feet?" Dipper specifically detailed.

"And did he make 'Ooo' sounds?" Soos added.

"Well, no to both," the man stated, "but his voice echoed, and his eyes glowed. And the thing is," he leaned in closer, his voice dropping, "word of the workers here is that they had no idea who this person is. Never seen or heard of him, and no one like that came in the park by the front gates. Some of the veterans say he's described as some ancient guardian, but-"

"Ancient Guardian?" Dipper cut in. "You're _sure_ that's what they said?"

"Pretty sure," the man nodded.

Dipper nodded to him, grabbed Mabel, and pulled them into a group huddle. "Ancient guardian with spectral like abilities that lack any actual astral projections or syndromes. What else does this sound like?" Dipper asked to them.

"The poltergeist?" Wendy asked.

"Close, but no," Dipper shrugged.

"A really sick dude?" Soos asked. Dipper just gave him the least concerned face he could, before turning to his sister.

"Dipper," she said, "who?"

"Zander," Dipper said, "they called him an ancient guardian, and he has a flair for the dramatic, and has weird ghostly properties without actually being ethereal."

"What, you think Zander's long lost brother is here or something? As a Ren-Fair geek?" Mabel snickered, and she added, "I wonder if he's just as attractive."

"No..." Dipper looked over his shoulder, to the crowds, "but maybe... we could stay just a bit longer. This could be connected to our stuff."

"Okay, so I'm going to point out," Wendy cut in, "that normally this sort of thing had no chance of being connected. But because you two are here and we're in a whole mess of weird, I'm also kind of convinced. Something's up."

"So should we round up witnesses and question them before a jury of their peers?" Soos asked.

Dipper opened his mouth to speak, but his eyes darted past Soos. In the flex of an adjusting eye, he saw something in the distance.

Past the rear fences of the caged area for Mina, who carefully watched the crew and Waddles, was another alley in the forest. In that alley, standing before a shop, a woman with silver hair tied with a bandanna stared right back at Dipper a moment too long. The moment she saw him returning the watch, she blinked and stood up fully. Dipper lost track for a single moment, and as the person who blocked his vision passed aside, the woman was gone. The beads that acted as a door for the shop in the background swayed gently.

"No," Dipper stood up fully, a grin creeping across his face, "sometimes it's as easy as just looking past a Mastodon in her pen."

"Okay, what?" Mabel snorted. "You're trying too hard to be deep, bro."

Dipper sighed and waved for them to follow, "look, just follow me, okay? I think I saw something."

"Okay, fine," Mabel snickered, and turned back to Mina and Gullian. "Bye! We'll say goodbye before we leave!"

"Yes, have fun in the grounds," the man waved back, Mina tossing her trunk in the air to wave at Waddles, who stared as his distant girlfriend before reluctantly following with Mabel and Dipper.

"There was a woman," Dipper explained as quietly as he needed to as they passed through the crowds, "who was definitely staring at us from a distance. The moment I spotted her, she took off."

"Maybe a worker here?" Wendy suggested.

"Ehh," Mabel started with a wiggle of her hand which she held aloft, "guys here don't care if you stare back. That is _kinda_ weird."

"Exactly. She did wear fitting clothes though," Dipper admitted, "like a tassel or something on her shoulders and stuff. Draped dress. Medieval things."

"For being a fair about the Renaissance times, they certainly prefer people wearing clothing of the times before," Soos admitted, "kinda confusing to a newbie like myself."

A minute of striding around crowds, and the four found themselves by a row of shops. By a wagon attached to a pair of men dressed as horses, Dipper noticed the shop the woman had stood by.

"This is the one," Dipper said, nodding to the open doorway. "Okay. Wendy, Soos, stay out here with Waddles. Unless you hear something going down in the inside, wait for us. Someone may try sneaking out."

"If they do?" Soos asked, "smack 'em down?"

Dipper pointed to the wagon. "Just grab one of those loose ropes and tie them up."

"Bait and snag. Got it," Wendy nodded. "Don't get hurt while I'm away."

"Waddles," Mabel pointed to the wagon, "you stay under there and don't move, okay?"

Waddles, only ever taking orders from one person in his life, did as he was told. Several snorts later, and he had secured himself by the ropes in the wagon. Once he sat in the shade, Mabel breathed easily, and looked to her brother and nodded.

"Let's see what fate's got for us," Dipper stated, and the pair entered the shop.

Inside and past the beaded curtain, they found themselves in a dark shop filled to the brim with paranormal paraphernalia. All walks of life and religion could find replicas of relics and religious symbols. The air smelt of burning herbs and essences, which caused Mabel to wince and wave her hand before her nose.

Dipper glanced around. They were alone. Not only that, but it was unusually quiet in there. Even the sounds of the outdoors were muffled.

"Two doorways," Dipper noted. True to his word, one doorway behind an un-attended counter was closed off, and down the shop, a hallway lead towards a distant wooden door as well.

"I got so many heebie-jeebies about this, you know," Mabel admitted.

"I know. Me too," Dipper agreed. "Unless you want to let who ever we're looking for get a jump on us, we really should cover both at the same time."

"Okay... I'll take..." Mabel began to bounce her finger from door to door, silently chanting 'eenie-meenie' as she did. Dipper watched her for a moment, sighed, and the moved forward. "Okay," Mabel waved at him and turned towards the closer door. "Scream like a wuss if you need help."

"Same to you," he smirked back.

Passing through some of the smoketrails in the air, Dipper began to train his eyes to the darkness. Candles were lit around him, giving the already hot air a small touch of heat that was not needed. His newer, leather accomplices on his t-shirt dug into his skin, and he scratched absent-mindedly.

The he heard a creek of floorboard ahead. Around a corner, he saw the rest of the business room. A table, with six chairs facing one, was lined with large cards with unusual faces. Many of the cards were scattered across the cloth-lined table.

Following the source of the sound, Dipper slowly turned the corner, and found her.

Standing upright, a woman with silvering hair and dark, copper skin stared back at Dipper. She had a face of small wrinkles that gave her an appearance of majestic age. Her eyes shone in the dim light of the candles- a bright brown that spoke of experience.

"Dipper Pines," she spoke in a voice that dripped with shock.

"So you do know me," he stated. "Who're you?"

"Why are you here?" she asked him, keeping her distance from him. "You have much more important things to be doing than being here!"

Dipper recoiled from her snap, and stared. "Lady, I don't know who you are, or how you know me, but I don't like either of those things. _So_, you're going to come with me and my friends and answer my questions."

"Dipper, you must- WAIT!" she cried, lifting her hand up and holding it out.

Dipper heard movement behind him. Metal clanging in a rush. He spun just in time to greet it head on.

A huge hand reached out and grasped his mouth, clamping a vice-like grip onto his jaw that prevented him from even speaking, and barely even breathing. With a slowly, steady pull, the figure in complete chrome plate armor lifted Dipper into the air by his jaw. As he ascended off the ground, he met the things eyes.

They glowed. He saw no face inside the helmet to complete the picture. Just two bright orbs.

"This one will pay for his transgresses," the deep, echoing voice of the being in armor stated.

"No!" the woman pleaded, "he is a child!"

"More of a man than a child in years," the voice argue, his grip tightening. Dipper's face sweated, along with the rest of him as he desperately clawed at the hand and arm locking onto him.

"Let him down! He is crucial!"

"_You_ are crucial. My orders are to protect you," the being spoke. "And... I shall."

Dipper heard more footsteps coming and relief flooded his body. Mabel was coming. Backup!

"HEY!"

Except, Dipper realized that the voice he had heard didn't belong to his sister.

"Have at thee, interloper!" the being in armor lunged Dipper into the air, smashing into the approaching figure behind Dipper. As his body split into red-hot pains and he slid across the floor, Dipper saw the rush of movement as the lady ran past him. Rolling to his side, he finally saw the person who he collided with.

Another girl. Black hair with a blue hue, and sharp eyes that enhanced her scowl at him. She was lean, and just over Wendy's height. She was already back on her feet as the knight came back, and delivered a powerful back-handed slap to her face.

"Stand down, fool," he snarled, knocking her into the wall.

"Do not harm her either!" the woman at the door yelled, "she is important!"

"She will recover," the being noted.

"HEY!"

Dipper, barely standing up, now smirked. That one was definitely Mabel.

"Stand and delive- oh wow," she gasped, looking at the knight as she ran through the doorway, "you're a big one-"

The Knight replied quickly. Stepping out and kicking at the countertop, Mabel leapt into the air and deftly avoiding the splintering tidal wave of wood that would have otherwise crushed her. Landing between the armored figure and Dipper, she yelled and struck out with her fist.

CLAAAANG.

"Owwwwy," Mabel retracted her fist, shaking it vigorously. "Okay, it always looked a lot easier in video games to punch people in armor! That smarts!"

"So," the echoing voice of the knight scowled, "a duel, shall it be?" and with a quick draw, he had a dirk-dagger in his hand. Mabel ducked, and leapt back, avoiding two lightning slashes as best she could. The last dodge tossed her back and she landed on the floor.

"Hey!" Soos rushed in, holding up a rope. "Imma tie you up, you big-" the being turned and pulled it's arm over it's shoulder, readying a dagger-toss, "HOLY-TOLEDOS!"

"SOOS! MOVE!"

Wendy rushed in and shoved him aside, knocking him to the floor. Had she not, the dagger that imbedded itself deep into her shoulder and out of her back would have taken it's mark inside Soos's center chest. With a deep cough, Wendy fell backwards, taken to the impact of the dagger and the wound she had recived.

"Wendy!" Dipper cried out, clawing to a stand. Trying to stand up, a foot stepped on his bakc, and Dipper yelped in pain, shoved down to the floor.

"Fight me!" the new girl shouted, drawing out a sword from her belt.

The knight did as asked, and drew his own blade. With force unrelenting, the being swung again and again at the new girl, throwing her back again and again, and yet each time she attempted to rush in and fight further. Finally, with a mighty roar, the spectral entity swung his longsword like a golf-club and lifted her into the air. The dull snap of thick metal declared that the new girl's sword had been split in half, and she had been lifted high into the air. She struck the ceiling and crashed next to Dipper, he legs landing firmly on his back.

"Ow! C'mon," Dipper grunted, trying to push himself out from under her.

"Out of my way!" the girl growled, again leaping off Dipper to rush after the now departing figure in armor.

She rushed ahead, just as Mabel's own footsteps carried up behind Dipper. "C'mon!" she said, pulling Dipper to his feet.

Dipper was upright just as Soos finally managed to climb back up, gasping for air. The three of them stepped outside. The new girl with dark hair had lunged forward, broken sword still in her hand. Wendy was being attended by concerned visitors, who seemed to believe that she merely had a prosthetic in her shoulder, and this was a part of an act.

"Stop that thing!" the girl cried out, pointing the remaining half of the sword at the distant cart.

The woman in the front with the armored man, the being swished the reigns of the cart, and the two men in horse suits whinnied and began to rapidly pull away the cart. As the ropes dragged behind the cart, one with a partially completed noose snagged the one thing that was still in the spot the cart had been- Waddles.

"NO!" Mabel screamed as Waddles was suddenly thrust onto his belly, and dragged after the cart. "SOMEBODY STOP THAT CART!" Mabel screamed, pushing past Dipper and Soos to rush ahead.

"Stop him!" the girl said, running after the cart.

The cart was gaining speed. Led by two dressed as horses, they had the momentum advantage, going down a hill. Mabel saw ahead the new girl, trying her absolute hardest to catch up. But she had to try harder. Waddles couldn't get taken away again. Not again!

She saw a plan already. On the trees in many spots, signs and flags were tied by long ropes. They were out of reach to anyone on the streets, but if she could get elevation, just six feet up...

It was just luck for Mabel that she passed a man on stilts when the thought occurred that she could really use some Stilts. Kicking the man's faux-foot out from his step, the man fell into a pile of sheets and fabrics with a terrified cry.

"Sorry," Mabel rushed as she tore away one of the stilts, "sweet, baby pig in dire need! Thanks!" she said, rushing away with the stilt. Now armed with the stilt, she ran ahead, and with a jump, stuck the stilt into the ground. Clawing her way up the stilt as best she could, she managed to leap onto the rooftops of the buildings. Slanted tiles and mossy rooftop made it slippery, but she was determined.

She again saw them- just ahead now. And a rope came into view. It dangled loosely before her, ready and ripe for the taking. If she could swing it down, she would be onto the cart, and able to detach her poor, terrified piggy in a minute. With a war-cry, she leapt into the air and grasped the rope.

The moment her weight met with the rope, it slipped away. Her rope slipped from it's grasp and fell to gravity, along with Mabel.

With a clatter, Mabel slammed into the new girl with a loud crash. She rolled off, the momentum carrying her down hill slightly until she hit the side of a tree-trunk. Her eyes squinted as tears clouded her vision. She hadn't broken anything, but she was certain she had come close to spraining her ankles.

That wasn't why she cried. The cart turned down an alley far ahead, and vanished.

Mabel clawed at the earth before her, trembling. "No... Waddles..."

"Damn!"

Mabel gasped, and pained herself to turn around. The other girl was standing up, groaning and clawing at her shoulder.

"I had him! In just a few minutes, I'd finally catch it! And you'd just have to come in and ruin it for me, kid!" the girl spat, her face red from fury and exhaustion.

Mabel could say nothing. The anger behind the person's eyes was deep, but Mabel saw in her a genuine pain. The person groaned audibly and stormed off, tossing her broken sword into the bushes off the path.

Footsteps approached Mabel from behind as she slowly came to her feet. Dipper raced to her, dusting her shoulders off for her making sure she was well. Soos, right behind her, was asking if she was hurt anywhere. She turned to speak to them, just in time to see Wendy saunter over, and wrench out the dagger from her shoulder with a bloodless yank.

"Waddles. They took my pig," Mabel said, her lips quiver.

Soos nodded somberly. "And not even on horses. Dudes _dressed_ as horses, and carrying a wagon. Gotta give them an 'A' for effort!" he chuckled.

"SOOS!" Dipper and Wendy yelled as Mabel hung her head from her shoulders.

"Ah, my bad," Soos nodded. "Sorry. No need for _long_ faces." He snickered. "Get it? _Long_ faces? Horses?" Dipper punched Soos' stomach. "Ow," he winced as he rubbed his large belly, "Okay, I'm done."

* * *

We continue on with the story, on our regular schedule! WOOHOO! So, I'm not sure how many of you great guys out there know what a Renaissance Fair is, but I absolutely love them. They're ridiculous and hammy and totally over-priced, but so much fun. In case you all haven't reaized it yet, Season three is going to have a lot of American Exploration.

Area 51, the great Bison, Sasquatch, chupacabra, and now the ren-fair: mostly American things. When I decided that I was going to have the gang travel the country, I KNEW I had to have this. If you haven't gone to one, just imagine that scene from Cable Guy at Medieval times, but an entire fair grounds of that stuff. (but with less insane Jim Carrey)

Also, I will confirm nothing concerning a certain minor character in these two chapters. I give you the hints, but the rest is up to you. ;)

A further apology to those I have not gotten fully back to. I do plan on letting you into what you asked for, but this past week I had work more hours than I ever had previously. So writing this and working... let's just say sleep has become a lesser priority. Like back in high school. Ahh... fun times. (but not really. :p) So just remind me if you're waiting on something from me, and 'ye shall receive'.

Also, just to let you all know, we are approximately two full 'episodes' away from being 1/3 done with Season three.

Where does time fly to?

(A clock nearby EZB suddenly accelerates, and EZB's flesh becomes sand, and blows into the wind, leaving a skeleton in his place.)

Hm. Spooky. (looks at his hands) Scary. (looks into a mirror) Skeleton. I think this is a repeating pattern. (the EZB skeleton collapses into a pile of bones.)


	81. Ye Olde Fair-Wells: Part 2

As far as the knowledge of shows and performances to the public, a Renaissance Fair is known for it's theatricality. Robust and loud actors patrolled the streets in garments suiting the times, fooling mouth-agape audiences into thinking that talent was behind their misquoted Shakespearian lines. The fights in the sand pit by the battle-masters tent was filled with auditioning individuals, all ready to prove their merit. To those who would stop and watch the antics of the amateurs proving their worth, it would seem quite special.

So it was an interesting twist when people started to come to some of the officials in town with their praise for the street-fights that had happened earlier. With confusion and unease, the more experienced fair-goers would ask, "What street-fight?"

"Why, the one with the kids and the knight! They had scripts, and action, and even animals too! A _real_ one!"

Rushing past one of the groups going through this discussion, Mabel Pines scrambled around a potters shop. Her face was dirty and covered with sweat, and she peered around the street corner.

"He could be around here," she said aloud as the panting of her exhausted brother caught up to her, along with Wendy and Soos. She called out, her hands around her mouth, "Waddles!"

"Excuse me sir," Dipper turned to a shopper, "have you seen a cart with a knight and woman being dragged around by two in horse costumes?"

The man chortled. "I thought you weren't supposed to admit that the costumes actors aren't real," he winked at Dipper, who glared at him with a twitching eye.

"Waddles!" Mabel cried out, shoving past the man and entering the street. "C'mon, just a little squeal here, buddy," she pleaded quietly.

"Mabel," Dipper followed, leaving behind the bewildered visitor.

"Waddles!" she shouted again.

"Okay, drawing some attention here," Dipper gulped as he looked about, the turning of heads evident.

"WADDLES!" Mabel screamed over the gazes of distant onlookers.

"Mabel!" Dipper called, running in front of her, grabber her shoulders," that's not working! Stop it!"

"It hasn't worked _yet_," she declared.

"It won't work," Dipper tried evening his voice, toning it down.

"Says who?" she demanded of him. "You?" she leaned towards him, a danger in her tone, "you trying to stop me from getting my pig?"

"Mabel, you know that's not what I'm trying to do," he scolded.

"Then help me! Please!?" she demanded, turning away. "Waddles! Just squeal or... something! Anything!"

Dipper's jaw clenched, and he turned away, facing Wendy and Soos. With a decided nod, he said, "She's not going to stop. Not at least until she's got the pig back."

"You speak wisdom, dude," Soos nodded.

"So, like, what's the plan then?" Wendy asked, "running around this fair hasn't gotten us anything, and we've been at it for a whole hour. I wasn't even sure there are that many places for a giant knight in armor to hide!"

"I know. Mabel wants to find the pig, and she may think that the best way is just looking and calling out for him," Dipper explained, "but we may need to attack this differently-"

"Guys!" Mabel butted in, "c'mon, we can look by the 'Ye Olde Bev-Arrr-ages' again," she suggested, nodding her head towards a brink booth decorated like a pirates galleon.

"Hold up, hambone," Soos said with his hand out, "we're going to come up with a plan."

"We don't have time for a super-complex plan," Mabel wined.

"Mabel," Wendy stepped over, a hand on her shoulder, "waddles is fine. Even if he is kidnapped or whatever by that dagger throwing jerk," she gave her shoulder a flex and sighed, "he'd have no reason to hurt the pig. Waddles is probably tied under a cart, out of the sun, and a little spooked. You can relax a little."

Mabel's eyes shimmered. Conflict of heart and mind raged behind those brown orbs of emotion. With a small nod, the girl seemed to come to Wendy's agreement.

"I just can't let him be taken away again," Mabel sniffed, "this is my fault."

"Placing blame won't help us right now, girl," Wendy firmly said.

"And even if it did, it's not your fault," Dipper added.

"It is!" Mabel declared. "I told Waddles to hide under the cart! I told him to stay out of sight in the one plcae that's like the worst to hide under! The getaway cart!" she groaned. "I'm so stupid!"

"Mabel, that wasn't anything you could have predicted," Dipper said, shaking his head slowly. "You know that."

"Yeah, well," Mabel gritted her teeth, "I could have chased them!"

"Uh, I think you did, hambone," Soos raised a hand, "unless my low perception score deceived me."

"I did, but when I fell, I let my pain stop me," Mabel groaned. "Arline would have gotten up. She would have!"

"That wasn't your fault either," Dipper growled, "the other girl got in your way."

"Well, not really," Mabel shrugged.

"Speaking of which, who was that?" Wendy asked. "Only got a two second shot of her as she ran out. Thought it was a tourist or something. She was really bookin' it."

"Like a pro paranormal investigator or something," Soos nodded.

"No idea," Dipper said, "but she kept stepping on me."

"A clue," Soos nodded as he scratched his chin, "she tries stepping on Dipper frequently... clearly this is a long-lost rivalry that has only just caught up with-"

"Guys," Mabel called, "the problem with my pig?"

"Right, sorry," Soos said, as Dipper glared at him. "Don't worry though bro. Any girls try stepping on you again, they'll answer to me. Like," Soos held up his hands, "woah girl, stop stepping on Dipper. Totally not cool."

Dipper sighed and patted the man's arm. "Thanks."

"No prob dude."

"Can we please-" Mabel began again.

"I got an idea," Wendy spoke up. "Twins, you keep at this. I mean, there's a ton of hidden space behind the shops and things, and maybe the jerk is just hiding behind a closet door or something."

"See?" Mabel nudged Dipper, "she agrees with me."

"Meanwhile, Soos and I will check the parking lot in the grass. The jerks may try to leave or something. If they do, then we can trail them, and call on the phone," Wendy said, lifting up her own phone, provided by Dipper days ago.

"Not a bad idea," Dipper said and nodded with a grin.

"And we call if something crazy comes up?" Soos asked Wendy, who nodded. "Or if we think of food we want them to buy?"

"That'd be only you, bud," Wendy said with a grimace.

"Well, or a souvenir-" Soos began.

"Let's go," Wendy poked his tummy and move towards the gate entrance. With a small chuckle, Soos followed, gently rubbing his stomach.

Dipper watched them go, reminding himself in his own mind that he wouldn't fall to the low of his age. Wendy's _butt_ was right there. Instead he smiled and turned away, to where Mabel was. "So, should we-" only she was gone, and moving towards a wind-chime shop. "Mabel, wait!" Dipper shouted as he jumped on, rushing to keep up.

"Well, they're gone," Mabel said over her shoulder, "so we should look around," she said, pushing around the heavy amounts of merchandise to the back of the shop. She kicked the door open and looked inside. A white-haired woman making wind chimes looked at her from inside. "You seen a little pink piggy with a spot over his eye?" Mabel demanded.

"Uh... what?" the old woman asked.

"Sorry," Dipper apologized, and closed the door. "Mabel, really?"

"Dipper, we can't just not look around, or ask people," Mabel glared at him, and turned away.

"You're right, but we can try to be a little less suspicious about it," he explained. "Kicking down a shop-keeps door is a good way to have them kick us out."

"They stole my pig!" Mabel snapped.

"One of them did," Dipper reminded, "I get the feeling that whatever is going on is something that is new, or not part of the fair."

"Why? How?" Mabel demanded.

Dipper wrapped his hand around her arm and tugged. When she resisted being moved away from the back door, Dipper sighed. "Mabel, c'mon. I'll explain, but let's not blockade that woman's exit."

"Why? What if she's what's under the knight?" Mabel dramatically asked. When her brother gave her a bored look, she sighed and followed suit.

"Look, it's about how they're all acting. When you've been storming around, looking for Waddles-"

"The right thing to do," Mabel declared.

"-I've listened and watched people. Guests are complimenting the staff here. They're all taking about what happened. The knight, our battle with him, his escape- they're saying that they're pleased with how the Fair has a new performance. Only thing is," Dipper added with a smile, "the staff don't seem to know what they're talking about!"

"Yeah, so?" Mabel shrugged, "big Renaissance fair conspiracy. They steal my pig, because they're all working with the Warlock," Mabel sniffled.

"Maybe you should leave the conspiracy theories to me," Dipper shook his head, "because yours kind of suck."

"Tell that to the aliens," Mabel stuck out her tongue.

Dipper paused in his retaliation. Regaining his composure and his trail of thought, he said, "These fair-geeks aren't in on whatever is going on. They're just as confused as we are, only they're trying to stay out of it. Probably for safety or security reasons, I don't know," Dipper shrugged.

Mabel pocketed her hands. After a moment of her brow focused and her staring past her brother, she again focused onto him. "You promise me that going around, beating up the ren-fair nerds isn't a good idea?"

"Promise you," he said with a grin.

"Well... saves me trouble. I was looking forward to beating up people who probably deserved it though," Mabel sighed. "I mean, look at that necklace over there," she pointed to another shop, "that's a bear tooth necklace. It's not a bear's tooth, and they're still selling it for fifty dollars. Whoever runs it kinda deserves a punch."

"Or, if Grunkle Stan was here, some lessons," Dipper smirked, and Mabel chuckled with him. As she laughed, Dipper patted her shoulder, "c'mon. We can try back at that one shop."

With the nod from his sister, Dipper lead them back to the fortune telling building they had encountered the knight and the older woman. The shop now held the vigilances of an anxious crowd. The visitors all watched the door expectantly, ready for a new fight to come out at anytime.

As Dipper and Mabel stepped past the wall of people, a loud shush echoed around. Mabel turned around as Dipper ignored them. "No fight now guys! Go on with your business and buy expensive stuff!" And without any other complaints, the people began to disperse, off to do as they were instructed.

"Makes me wonder if you shouldn't have been a public speaker," Dipper grumbled as he saw Mabel step inside with him.

"Heh, people like a girl who can chat it up," she winked.

"Except you over-do the entirety of chatting," Dipper retorted.

"Says you," Mabel snickered. "Please, tell the disciple of the love god herself how to interact with people."

Dipper didn't reply, instead grumbling and turning to the deeper end of the shop. As he stepped inside with his sister, they peered around. Gentle candles and their smoke still lingered in the air, from several dressers and tables.

"Look around," Mabel instructed, "maybe they have a secret door or something cool."

"My thoughts exactly," Dipper nodded.

With only the faintest of crackles as the wick of the candles burned around them, Dipper slowed his searching. He light was just dim enough for him not to feel tired, but it stirred thoughts. He was finding little with his hands, but he felt a weight in his vest that could. He slid his palm against the spine of one of the three journals, feeling the temptation.

It was stupid to not use a utility as powerful as magic. It would just be a single spell after all. A search spell- just to find a secret door. Or heck, he could use a locator spell to find out where Waddles was (assuming the pig hadn't been taken more than a mile away). But unless he was lucky, Mabel would know. She'd see or hear him.

Dipper stood up, and faced his sister. Her back was to him, trying to look behind a large bookshelf.

"Something's off here," Mabel grunted, trying to pull away the back of the shelf to examine herself.

"Mabel, maybe I can help," Dipper suggested, staying up.

"Yeah, come over here doofus," she waved him over with a smile.

"No, I mean with finding waddles," Dipper clarified.

"You are," Mabel glanced back to him, "just because you're not as strong as me doesn't mean-"

Dipper sighed and stepped closer, and put his hand on the shelf. "That's not what I mean." With a deliberate reach, he snatched from inside his vest journal three. "I mean this."

"Wait, what is that going to help us with..." Mabel started, but her eyes went from unfocused and uncertain to a pin-point accurate. "Dipper," she gave him a warning tone.

"Mabel, really," Dipper laughed, "like we are without really any inclination. This stuff, and magic as a whole," Dipper held out the book, "could help us get back Waddles. I could try using a locator spell for pigs in the area."

"Dipper, we shouldn't," she said with finality.

"Why!?" he exclaimed, his air exerting itself with force.

"Because magic is so clearly _bad_," Mabel reminded him.

"How do you know?" Dipper asked. "We've seen minor magic that isn't evil. This isn't like it's an all-corrupting thing."

"Zander says it is," Mabel told him.

"_Zander_," Dipper growled.

"What?" Mabel snapped back.

"Zander Maximillion," Dipper repeated, "the Guardsman, the master of the Paths- he's just as bad!" Dipper said.

"No he's not!" Mabel declared. "He's trying to stop bad things from happening!"

"How? By collected magical stones from around the world? He could be doing anything with the stones," Dipper pointed out.

"We've helped so many people who are around those _magical_ stones," Mabel explained. "Like the people who are around the stuff get hurt or scared, and when we come around, we save them. Because Zander sends us there."

"Mabel, c'mon!" Dipper shouted, "you're not Zander! You have your own opinions! Just because Zander has a stupid boycott against magic doesn't mean you have to blindly obey him!"

"Dipper, really?" Mabel gasped, "it's not stupid! He's got reasons for it."

"What? What are they?" Dipper demanded.

"Well, all the bad-guys we really fight usually use magic," Mabel suggested.

"So what? A police officer uses a gun to defend himself as he enforces the law that keeps people safe, arguably most of the time," Dipper added as a half-note, "but so do criminals! They also use guns."

"Which is why people are trying to ban them," Mable shrugged.

Dipper roared, his frustration with his sister boiling his brain. "Mabel is this really what you think?! That all magic is so evil you won't even touch it?! Or is it just because Zander says it is!?"

"What if I just so happen to agree with Zander?" she posed, her own voice growing in volume.

"You're just agreeing with him because you like him!" he shouted.

"Am not!" Mabel called, feet from him. "We just have a better sense of good and bad than you!"

"You want to talk _sense_!?" Dipper roared, "it's ironic coming from the one person who thought that bringing her pig along with her on a dangerous mission was a good idea!" he snapped, and clawed at his hair as he turned away. "See, this!? This is why Waddles was stolen! Not because of chance or luck, but because there was something right in front of your face, and you didn't bother seeing it for what it was and-" Dipper spun around, ready to take another chunk of Mabel's argument and destroy it.

Except that, by seeing her crushed expression and hopeless stare, he couldn't. Her entire tightened body posture had slumped and fallen. Dipper was half ready to rush forward and catch her, she looked like a mere teeter in one direction could knock her to her feet. Her eyes shimmered, yet not one tear fell from her face.

His mouth and throat were dry. "I-I'm sorry," he struggled to say. "I was angry, Mabel. I just got frustrated, and... you know."

"Don't apologize," she said timidly.

"No, I should," Dipper nodded, "because I was being a jerk."

His admittance floated through the air shortly. Her already shaken eyes went from looking towards the ground to looking to Dipper. She slowly shook her head.

"Dipper," she slowly said, "you're right."

"I... am?" Dipper carefully repeated. Mabel stepped forward and slumped into one of the chairs on the table with cards. Dipper made to counter her, taking a chair in front of her as she slumped onto the table.

"Mabel, what do you mean? What I said was stupid and horrible," he announced.

"Well, maybe a little angry and mean, yeah," Mabel sighed as she rested her chin on her arms against the table, "but you weren't wrong. I... was blinding myself."

Dipper remained in his chair, watching his sister carefully. It was a dangerous game that he had just walked into. Mabel rarely admitted full fault like that. Heck, Dipper knew that he was partially to blame for that, but Mabel letting herself out, undefended and willing for blame, was... weird; and anything weird to Dipper was definitely weird.

"Mabel, what do you really mean?" he asked.

She turned her head to give him a checking look. When her said nothing, she sighed and sat up in her chair.

"It's about Waddles," she started. "Right before Gravity Falls... you know... what happened to it," she explained.

"Ceased to exist," Dipper nodded.

"I was scared for everyone. You got scarred, and Yuki had just... well, I was afraid I would lose more people. I didn't want to have to give up anyone else to what was happening. Then... the explosion happened, and we lost everything, Dipper. We don't have a family like that with mom and dad," Mabel said to Dipper, "not like Grunkle Stan, and Wendy and Soos, or with Candy and Grenda, and Pacifica... Yuki..."

"I know," Dipper nodded, rubbing her shoulder.

"So when we lost them, I thought all I had left was us. And Waddles," Mabel sniffed, "was the last thing that I had as a real family member after Gravity Falls aside from you. Mom and dad got stupid, but we still had Waddles for a bit. He was there, being cute and silly and, oh, just so pink," Mabel chirped, and wiped her eyes.

"But things are even more dangerous than before," she said to Dipper, turning to face him fully. "Graupner has armies, and people don't know us, and mom and dad are so far away now... we don't even have a room to hide in anymore."

"Mabel," Dipper scooted closer with his chair, the wood scraping against the floor loudly," I'm sorry."

She reached forward, and twins, in a long time coming, gave each other a real hug. One that wasn't tapped with a small joke of theirs, but one of meaning. After a short silent moment, the two let go, and looked to one another.

"Mabel, I feel the same way, you know," Dipper admitted, "but I was just... too invested into solving the issue to realize how I felt."

"Yeah, you kind of do that, doofus," she snickered as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Takes one to know one, doofus," Dipper retorted. She gave him the lightest of punches on his chest, and the two laughed.

A loud stomp nearby had them startled. Jumping up from their chairs, they looked towards the door, and saw a looming, shining figure in the doorway.

A voice echoed distantly. "I knew you interlopers would come looking for her here," the figure snarled, and then turned away, clanging his metal suit as he did.

"Wait!" the twins cried out in unison.

Their footsteps raced to the front of the shop, Dipper just barely behind in his sister in the race to exit and chase the armored knight.

Mabel was in the air at the steps of the stairs, bellowing her best war-cry as she kicked out. The Knight spun around to face her, an arm raised to block her attack. Landing with only the smallest of moments to recoil from the pain of kicking a full-metal set of armor, she again swung.

"You children mock me," the Knight growled, towering over Mabel as she ducked and dived around him, avoid his own sweeping punches. As she did, Dipper ran to a fallen tree branch, and lifted it to his shoulder.

"Mabel! Incoming!" he shouted, and gave his own charge a massive swing at the end. Lifting the piece of wood over his head, he swung down on the knight.

"Fool!" the knight knocked aside Mabel with a shove, and drew his blade half way out- using the pummel of his sword to block his attack. "To disregard my honor and attack me while my back faces you!" He roared, and shoved Dipper backwards, and fully-drew his sword.

"Uh-oh," Dipper ducked one heck of a slash made at his shoulder-height. The log which he held up was sliced in two, leaving a clean cut where half of the wood had been. Eyeing the broken weapon, Dipper gulped and stepped back, dropping the chunk of wood to the ground.

"I shall preserve my honor in combat!" the knight roared and made a sweeping strike, cutting at the air where Dipper had just been. The teen had rolled away, knocking into a nearby cart of straw.

Mabel then leapt up onto the knights back, pounding onto the helmet with her fists. Each hit she winced slightly, feeling the sturdy steel resisting her impacts. Yet she was blinded by her pain- the Knight reached up and grasped her face.

"You shall bother my charge no more!" he roared, and threw Mabel forward.

Dipper was only just about to stand up when his sister slammed into him like a cannon ball. The two collapsed backwards, splintering the small cart and becoming cascaded with the straw inside.

From a distance past their pain and agony, the two heard cheers and applause. Among it, a pair of heavy footsteps clanged away. With a gasp of air and a set of heavy breaths, the twins emerged from the straw and looked around. They were receiving applause from the crowds, who had eagerly watched the fight. But their task, the strange knight, was gone. They were defeated yet again.

"Dang it," Dipper kicked aside some straw with a snap of his foot. "This is ridiculous! How do you stop this guy?"

"He's got a really good tactic," Mabel said as she burst out of the straw next to Dipper.

"Throwing people at other people?" Dipper asked.

"I guess some things in action movies actually do work," Mabel shrugged. As she looked around with her brother, all she found were the excited, entertained onlookers. "And he's gone again too," Mabel mumbled. "He didn't have Waddles either."

"Like, this stupid mother-hubber of a knight," Dipper grumbled as he shoved aside straw and jumped up, "he's got moves! And if he really is a ghost or something, then we need something other than fists!" As Mabel stood, Dipper turned and watched her, awaiting an answer.

When she looked to him, and his firmness met her uncertainty, she grumbled and turned away.

"Mabel, really though," Dipper raced next to her as they left the still excited crowds, "this thing vanishes and reappears when it wants to, and our fighting isn't enough," Dipper explained, "this... calls in for something special."

"You know I don't like it," Mabel admitted, facing him as they stood in the center of the walkways by a crossroad.

"I do," Dipper nodded, "but I believe that your pig is worth more to you than the idea that all magic is evil." Mabel sighed and tilted her head left and right, giving away more uncertainty. "Let me prove to you I'm right," Dipper suggested, inching closer, "if Magic can find Waddles without negative consequence, then it can't be all that bad, can it?"

Mabel pursed her lips, a thought behind her eyes. Dare Dipper think that he may have convinced her.

"Well?" he asked.

The crowds, now distant from their problems, buzzed their casual din around the twins. They were alone, together, in the swarm of visitors and tourists. Finally Mabel opened her mouth.

"Dipper, if you really think that this will-"

Clang.

The twins heads twisted towards large tents. From the distance, they heard metal strike metal. Like a sword. Or armor.

"That came in the direction of Mina's tent!" Mabel gasped, and started a run.

Dipper raced after her, his feet nearly sore from the fighting and running the day had provided from him, and the night before. As they shoved and dodged and weaved their way through the crowds, they came upon a hill that overlooked the large tent for Mina and her fence. With a sigh of dismay, Mabel stopped running and looked down from the small hill.

"What?" Dipper asked, looking past her.

"False alarm," Mabel told her brother, and pointed.

Down below, in a large arena of sand and loose gravel, there were rows of trainees. Men and woman of all ages wore simple, work-out oriented clothes and under the sun, they lunged and parried with large, blunted metal weapons.

"The heck? They have an army?" Dipper asked, uncertain.

"Stage combat," Mabel waved her hand, "just actors pretending they can actually fight."

"Oh. Dang it," Dipper sniffed. "I guess it's back to square-"

"Wait!" Mabel gasped, slapping Dipper's shoulder.

"Ow! Stop that!" Dipper growled, "it's not like you were thrown at me or anything."

"Stop whining. I'm light as a feather," Mabel reminded him. When he gave her a very particular smirk, she jabbed his stomach. "Jerk. Seriously though, look there!"

Dipper, after recovering from his sister's lightning jab, turned and looked to the pits. There was a line of people who hadn't joined the fray yet. As his eyes focused to accommodate the rays of the sun, he noticed one particular figure standing in that line, looking sullen and sour.

"The girl from before," Dipper stated.

"Yeah! The other person who wanted after the ghosty-knight-thingy," Mabel encouraged him.

"So? So what?" Dipper turned back to her.

"Well, she also found the knight, remember?" Mabel asked. "When you got snatched by the big 'ol armored jerk, she was there right behind you," Mabel reminded him. "And you spotted the old lady first I think. How do you think that girl found it then?"

Dipper clenched his jaw. "She wasn't helpful to us. And I don't like being stepped on by strangers who don't apologize for it."

"But she know something if she could keep up with us. And she was able to fight the knight too," Mabel pointed out.

"Barely," Dipper added. When Mabel merely grinned, Dipper gasped. "No. We're not asking for a stranger's help."

"Even one who could step on you and get away with it?" Mabel smirked.

"If I had magic, she _wouldn't_ get away with it," Dipper grumbled.

"And you just proved my 'magic is evil' point," Mabel said.

"She's mean to me, and was mean to you," Dipper scoffed, "why would she help us?"

"Because she wants something from the knight. Maybe we can work with her to get Waddles back, and then Knight jerk can get what's coming to him," Mabel suggested.

As his eyes flickered between his sister and the woman below, he audibly groaned and shook his head. "I want it written that I appose this. We're fine on our own."

"Your complaints are noted," Mabel rolled her eyes. Before Dipper could speak again, she snagged his vest, and naked him down with her, moving towards the sand. "C'mon!"

Approaching the pits below, the duo found the small wooden fence surrounding the pits lined with on-lookers. Curious and entertained with the shaky sparring going on, the twins were not suspicious about their approach. The line on the other side of the fence was mostly made of athletic looking young men and women, ready for their chance to display their skill. Some of them chatted amicably, others warming up their voices with the strangest of chants.

"_All I want is a proper cup of coffee_," one man was chanting as he massaged his cheeks and neck.

Mabel giggled. "Made in a proper copper coffee pot," she snickered.

"Is that some sort of mystic actor phrase?" Dipper asked to Mabel.

"Nah. Just a warm up thingy my teacher taught us. It's silly and fun!" Mabel grinned, and chanted the rest as they approached the mysterious young woman. "_I may be off my dot, but I want a proper cup of coffee in a proper coffee pot_."

"Mabel," Dipper scolded her, and nudged her ribs as they found themselves feet from the girl.

The woman was just barely taller than Wendy. As Dipper remembered seeing her, the girl had a short pony tail of pointed black hair that gave a blue tint in the direct light of the sun. She was lanky and tone, with an exposed lower back due to her smaller shirt. A thick yellow jacket was tied around her waist, and she wore heavy combat boots, tied tightly around her ankles. She looked away, observing the fighters with a leaned back, slacking posture. Her jaw opened and closed, and the clasp of chewing gum reached the twin's ears.

Dipper rose his hand, ready to clear his throat.

"Don't bother," the girl suddenly said out loud. Her voice, one of a more moderate pitch, was riddled with acid and venom. "Whatever you kids want, I'm not interested."

"Like I thought," Dipper sighed, and pulled on his sister's arm, "c'mon. She's not interested."

"Wait," Mabel hissed quietly at Dipper. As her brother stayed put, glowering only a little, Mabel turned to the woman. "We wanted to ask if you would help us."

"I think you do need help," the girl snorted.

"So you'll help us?" Mabel gasped.

"What you need help with isn't something I can provide," the woman smirked, chewing her gum.

"Wait, what do you-"

The girl turned, leaning on the fence. She had a pointed nose, and dark, blue eyes that caught the light of the sun well. Dots of freckles played gently under her eyes and on her cheeks, but any amount of attractive qualities were replaced by a sneer.

"As in, you need help hearing me, I'll say again, _no_!" she snapped, glaring at the two of them.

"Mabel, c'mon," Dipper scoffed, "she's not worth it."

"But she could be," Mabel shrugged, "she was super cool and stuff earlier."

"I wish you two _had_ been," the woman snapped, leaning over the fence slightly.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Dipper barked.

"I had the jump on that freak," she explain. "The knight was slower than me. Even on that stupid cart, I was going to get him. And it was because you two got in my way that I have to start from nothing again!"

"Well, to be fair," Mabel chuckled, "he loves throwing suckers at other suckers. I was a weaponized projectile just a few minutes ago!" she admitted excitedly.

The girl went from Dipper's glare to Mabel, with a moment of scrutiny and confusion as one. After a short break from talking, the girl shook her head.

"Okay, listen to me carefully, okay freaks?" she asked.

"Freaks!?" Dipper snapped.

"Willing and able," Mabel winked.

"Ugh!" the girl growled and stood up fully on the fence, her eyes simmering with frustration, "I don't want to see you anymore, okay? I'm not _interested_ in dealing with kids who get in my way, or anyone anymore for that matter!"

"You don't work with people?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah," the woman said.

"Gee, wonder why?" Dipper quietly muttered.

"I can kick you about as far as I can throw you, punk," the girl warned Dipper.

"Aaand threats roll in," Dipper sighed, "c'mon. She's not going to work with us. Nor is she worth it."

"But she knows how to find him," Mabel told him, and looked to the girl, who was turning away from them. "Look, miss..?"

The woman said nothing.

"Okay," Mabel chuckled," Miss 'silence', I need you help. My brother and I were looking into the weird thing that happened today, and we found that old lady. But when the crazy knight showed up, our pet pig was stolen by them!"

"What?" the girl twisted her head halfway around, glancing to them.

"And we're like eighty percent sure that you found out how to track them before we did," Mabel said, and then looked to Dipper. "Is it eighty percent? I made that number up." Dipper rolled his eyes and pointed his thumb to the sky. "Oh, okay, closer to... ninety?" Dipper shrugged. "Sorta like ninety percent."

"So? So what?" the woman asked, slowly facing them again, a weary look to her.

"Well, you surely won't turn away us now that you know there's a cute little pig on the line?" Mabel asked with a watery smile.

"Look kid," the woman growled, "I don't care about you, your brother, your not-present friends, or whatever else you have to say!" she snapped, and made for the center of the arena, "I don't work with people who get in my way!"

"Wait!" Mabel yelled and leapt over the fence.

"Hey, Mabel!" Dipper growled, and started to climb over the fence as well.

"Look," Mabel said, now walking in pace with the woman, "I know you're probably upset with us," Mabel admitted.

"And growing more with every word," the woman scowled, never looking back to Mabel.

"But this is more than just twins asking someone for help," Mabel said, walking in tandem with the taller woman. "An innocent creature is on the line. A sweet, precious animal that wouldn't hurt a flea!"

The girl stopped, letting Mabel carry herself just a foot ahead. Her eyes were to the ground. As Dipper arrived, the twins saw just for a moment, the remains of concern in her eyes. The hardness and sharp attitude the woman had carried were washed from her in just an instant.

Then it came back, and she glared at them. "I told you to get lost."

"But we'll help!" Mabel assured, "I promise that if we work together, my brother an I kick plenty of ass!"

"Yeah, sounds about right actually," Dipper nodded.

The woman let out cruel laughter, shaking her head as she looked to the twins.

"You two are idiots. You just don't get it? You and your stupid pig aren't going to get any help from me!" she yelled, her voice loud enough to echo throughout the arena. As the twins stared in shock at the figure before them, she continued. "You two are lucky I pity little kids who don't know what they're getting into, and I haven't kicked your teeth in or anything; especially since I won't have a good chance to nab that spirit, which _you_ ruined!"

"First of all," Dipper snarled, "you didn't get claim on that knight! He went after me first, so you can just deal with that!" he snapped, and the girl laughed. "Second, and more importantly, apologize to my sister!" The woman continued to laugh. "Or else I'll-"

"No," Mabel said, and thrust her hand out, holding back Dipper. As Dipper felt the rigidness of the hand withholding him, he stepped back, aware of the change in tone his sister spoke in. He had rarely heard that before.

Anger.

"Look, lady," Mabel put her arm to her side as she looked up to the taller person, "I don't care what you call me and my brother. We know that whatever you call us we won't mind. But you call an animal something, and they may think that's what they are!" she snapped. "My Waddles is not dumb! He's an adorable, squashy, lovably animal that reminds his friends and family that he loves them all the time!" she yelled, now in the face of the girl. "Now, **APOLOGIZE**."

The chewing of gum had ceased, as well as most of the conversation around the arena. The girl before Mabel had a face of stone, and slowly she leaned into Mabel's own.

She then spat out her gum next to Mabel's feet, and said, "Make me."

Without skipping a beat, Mabel said, "I will."

The confidence in the older woman flickered for a half-second. Dipper was certain that no other person in this woman's life had been both younger and more intimidating than Mabel. Yet here they were, locked in a staring contest that corroded the air with tension.

Finally Mabel spoke. "I'll make a bet."

"Will you?" the woman asked.

"I fight you. Duel. You and me. However you want to fight in real fight. If I win, you're going to help us find and fight this big, nasty Knight," Mabel declared.

"And if _I _win," the woman leered back, "you leave. You get out of the fairgrounds and I never see you again. Got it?" she snapped back.

"Okay, hold on," Dipper stepped in, "as much as I'd love for my sister to literally hand you your own ass," Dipper added, "if you two fight this out, the Knight could arrive and challenge you both while you're exhausted? Mabel," Dipper turned to her, "just do rock-paper-scissors or something!"

"This is for Waddles, Dipper," Mabel told him, daring his eyes to look away from her gaze. "I'm not going to do anything other than my all to get him back."

A man, one of the few 'fight masters' of the arena approached them, his arms up. "Now excuse me, this is an unsanctioned fight arrangement made on official Renaissance fair grounds. I can't abide by-"

"Sir," Dipper stepped to him, "if you don't let them fight here, they'll fight in the streets over there," Dipper cast his thumb towards the crowds, "and I think we both know what could happen. Public involvement. Accidental injuries. Or worst of all for you," Dipper lowered his voice to a whisper, "property damages."

The man stared at Dipper. "You raise a fair point. Well," the man held his arms and walked away, "clear the arena! A claim to honorable battle has been made! None shall interfere!"

Dipper approached Mabel again. "Look, Mabel, I don't like her either. And I'd totally fight her, you know, if we weren't trying to conserve strength here."

"Dipper, c'mon," Mabel smirked to him, "look at her." The twins glanced over to the woman, who had walked over to a table of weapons, and started examining them. "She's like a twig. Like, thinner than you!" she snickered, and Dipper glared at her, and then looked back to the woman.

His mouth dropped when the girl lifted a large rod, a quarterstaff, and began to effortlessly twirl it around her body. She even tossed it into the air, still spinning, and caught it again without problem.

"Ah, well, you know what they say," Dipper gulped, "don't judge a book by it's cover."

His sister laughed. "C'mon. Bro. It's like you and chess," she gave him a poke to his brain, "you'd win. Easily. But this is my game. I got her down."

Dipper bit his lip. This was a risk still. Even if she won, that means that this girl was still less effective at fighting than Mabel. They'd add numbers, sure, but really only gained a possible guide to the Knight. They needed something that could ensure their victory...

"Chess." Dipper suddenly blurted.

"Huh?" Mabel asked. Her brother turned, and ran.

"Mabel, don't get too hurt, okay! I'll be back in a bit!"

Mabel watched him go, a strange happiness in watching him leave her be. She was alone now, alone to vent her anger and frustration on this person. This girl, this woman. Mabel turned around, and saw her now, some fifteen feet away, holding up a staff.

"Ohh, nice toy," Mabel said.

"Go get yours," the girl nodded to the distant tables filled with blunted swords and other weapons.

Mabel blew a raspberry and crossed her arms. "Don't need 'em."

The woman scoffed and shook her head, reading Mabel's cockiness poorly. "Fine, whatever. Don't blame me if I break a finger of yours."

"I kick to much ass to have you break a finger," Mabel winked.

The girl growled. "Yeah right."

The man stepped between Mabel and her foe, a white flag in his hands. "To those gathered to watch this duel," he shouted to the audiences by the fence, "I bid the a good day. For this is a moment of honor and prestige! Where two capable ladies test themselves before us all, and give it their right o' best! Who's ready for a nice old-fashioned fight!?"

The crowds cheered and hollered.

"Then, by my graces alone..." he looked between Mabel, and then the woman, "I pronounce this fight as... started!" and he waved the flag between them.

The man barely had a moment to dive out of the way before there was a dash of movement. Mabel's foe made a rush at her, staff out and at the ready like a spear. The sand behind her, kicked into the air, splashed out in waves as the charge against Mabel began. The girl finally attacked, taking both hands and lifting them to one side of the quarter-staff, and swung it down.

Mabel, never once flinching or making an adjustment, stepped aside.

The staff slapped into the sand as Mabel stood perpendicular the attacker, her eyes locked onto the woman. The reaction to her miss was trained and precise; sliding forward and recuperating her grip, she changed from a long-form grasp to a centered one, and she swung out again, twist around to strike at Mabel.

Mabel stepped backwards, avoiding the attack. Already people were cheering for the battle, under the impression that the fight was in any way sanctioned by the fair.

A flourish and twirl later, the woman brought her quarterstaff to her chest, level with her sight. Still focused on the female pine, she thrust it forward.

Mabel rolled her head to the side, avoiding the trust. When the woman spun it downward, Mabel twirled aside, spraying her own sand into the air.

"Stop toying with me, kid," the woman demanded.

"What? Don't like it when someone makes fun of you?" Mabel snapped.

The woman roared and whipped the staff around, and struck out at Mabel again. The teenager, trained under Arline Hirsh, had seen this kind of speed before. Quarterstaffs were something she was used to, to be sure. Again she ducked, dodged, and stepped away.

Finally, the woman used the staff to her advantage. She feigned a thrust, fooling Mabel into reacting and stepping back. In the woman's new and true purpose, she pole-vaulted forward, and threw out a kick. Mabel was still in mid-dodge, and had no choice. She blocked, feeling the weight to the kick in her forearms, which came together as a brief 'x' to absorb the damage.

The woman sneered and stepped back, allowing herself a moment to twirl the staff in one hand absentmindedly.

"Miss 'too-good' to fight had to block," she noted.

"Yup," Mabel nodded, clenching her jaw. "Nice hit, by the way."

"You haven't seen anything yet," the woman said, lowering herself into a readied stance.

Mabel slowly slid a foot back, and took her posture. With the deadliest of assurances, she replied, "yes I have."

The woman roared and lunged forward, thrust the staff as a long rapier, right for Mabel's stomach. The strike was clean, true-

Only Mabel leapt up and screamed. In a show of true strength, she leapt up and punched down simultaneously. The crowd gasped.

The entire mid-section of the weapon had shattered by Mabel's knuckles.

The woman stumbled back, gaining her ground and footing as Mabel landed, her knees in the sand, and her fist dug into the pit. The grip the woman had with her now ruined weapon trembled as she raised it to examine. If it had been a trick, she was uncertain how it happened. With a sigh, she smirked, and tossed the remains aside.

"Well, okay," the woman nodded, and shrugged, "I was wrong. You _do_ kick some ass."

"All the ass," Mabel corrected. Then she moved forward.

The older girl turned and ran for one of the tables. As Mabel patiently followed her, the woman found her next choice in armaments. With her left arm slipping into a brace, a small circular shield was lifted up, along with a short sword.

Without another word, the older woman approached again: a steady run, not a charge. The last few feet, she slowed down, and readied herself, a bounce in her step. Mabel never hesitated in her advance, assured of her victory.

The woman swung out with the sword, sweeping to cut Mabel's left arm. Only Mabel ducked under, leapt up, and swiped out with a kick. The kick didn't disarm as she had hoped, but the woman stumbled with the added momentum to her now missed swing.

Mabel leapt into aggressive tactics. She raced forward and threw out a punch at the woman's back. One solid strike would knock her to the ground, and then it was only matter of if she'd surrender or if she'd struggle until Mabel beat her down. Only the woman spun- presenting a solid shield to block.

The knuckles struck hard and true against the shield. With a loud clang, Mabel yelped and stepped back, wiggling her hand through the air, trying to 'air out' her fist. The woman, staring at the shield, which hummed gently with energy, took to advance again. With the shield as her wall of power, the older girl yelled and bull-rushed Mabel.

Mabel turned and thrust out her heel for a kick, in attempts to halt the woman in her place. But the momentum of the charge out-powered Mabel's kick, and Mabel was lifted into the air. While she flew with coordination, when she landed, the woman was already upon her.

Slash, swipe, stab, rinse and repeat. The girl was a flurry of attacks that effortlessly blended from one to another. Mabel was suddenly aware of how naked she felt. The range of the weapon, tied with the defense of the circular shield, made it nearly impossible for Mabel to take a chance and strike back.

She then saw that the woman's feet were out of position. With a grin, Mabel feighned a punch in retaliation, only to sweep out at her feet.

To her shock, the girl chuckled and leapt up. "Tricked you!" she shouted, in mid-air. Mabel ducked and rolled to the sand quickly, barely avoiding a trio of thrusts from the dulled sword. The woman was fast, chasing after Mabel fast enough to deny her to stand up.

Finally Mabel was bold, and lifted both feet up and pushed her back into the sand. The shield was impacted with two resounding kicks, and the woman stumbled away, her center of gravity thrown off. Clenching her gut and every muscle in her body, Mabel leapt off the ground with an all-too recognizable flip-kick.

"I want a toy!" Mabel called, and rushed away, running to the table. The woman made to follow, her sword and shield at her side.

At the table, Mabel looked around desperately. The arrangement of weapons didn't sit right with her. Daggers. Shields. Swords. Axes. Big swords. Bigger shields. Even _bigger_ swords. Where was the brass knuckles when she needed them!?

The woman behind her slashed out in a downward cut, and Mabel rolled aside, grasping at the first thing she passed before leaving the table. As she collected the weapon, she realized it was dragging at her feet. She had gathered a rope.

"Nice pick," the woman sneered, and rushed forward.

With a yelp, and no idea how to use a _freakin' rope_ as a weapon, Mabel back-stepped with the attacker, pulling a section of the rope taught as hard as she could. With her isolated section of pulled rope, she blocked the blunted sword with each swing and attack.

Then amble realized that the rope was a blessing to her in disguise. The sword had to be sharp to be a problem. Then it would have cut her only line of defense. Realizing now, backing up and blocking each attack with her supposedly improvised weapon, she had an upper hand.

The woman thrust forward once, intending to stab Mabel's shoulder, but Mabel dived her body aside, and then wrapped the end of the rope at the guard of the sword. Placing her foot on the shield, Mabel kicked off the woman, and wrenched the sword from her hand.

"HA!" Mabel roared with glee as her opponent saw her now open, disarmed, hand. The sword fell two dozen feet away from the two, and Mabel's opponent rushed forward, to re-gain her sword.

Mabel spun, building momentum with her ropes. Then she whipped it out, striking out at the woman's back. A lighter weapon or not, a whip to the back hurt. The woman cried and out and stumbled forward, sliding into the sand. She had only made it half-way to the sword, and tried standing again. Mabel had other plans.

She rushed forward and kicked out at the girl. The girl instead lifted her shield, absorbing the kick and falling side. Mabel kicked again and again, aiming at the girls feet, trying to catch a knee or heel with her strikes. Yet the girl was quick with her dodging and blocking. Mabel was stunned at how she couldn't land a single blow against this person, even with her on the ground.

Not only was she quick, she was clever. As Mable missed one kick, and the girl reacted, swinging out her own leg. Mabel hadn't been ready, and fell to the ground, on her back. It was the opportunity that the girl had been waiting for. She jumped up, holding the shield as a driving object, and attempted to bring the edge down onto Mabel.

"Yikeroos!" Mabel shouted and thrust out her two hands, bringing the rope out and making it taught. She deflected the shield to one side and rolled to the other, and then kicked out as she rolled. The shield was flung out of the girls hands, and slid to a stop next to the sword. "Man, you're not bad," Mabel chuckled as she stood up slowly, watching the woman scramble to her feet, running to her weapons.

The girl made no reply, instead gathering her tools, and running back at Mabel.

"Geesh, you're great battle-company," Mabel whined as she leaned back, avoiding the first attack.

No longer was the rope a mysterious and impossible to use tool. Mabel had unlocked it's secrets. As long as she found a way to confirm with either her hands or feet that it was secured to her, she could use it any way she wanted. Whipping out, she would delay a strike with a sword so she merely walked backwards from an otherwise speedy attack. With it wrapped around her foot, she actually caught the sword with the material, and then roundhouse kicked it away, again disarming the girl from her sword.

Finally there was only the shield to deal with. Mabel was clever about it, letting the woman get distance to think she couldn't reach her. When she turned to get her sword, Mabel whipped out with the sword and caught her leg.

Tripped and face-planted, the girl lost her shield again as she fell. Only, she didn't remain fallen. Turning to face Mabel, still covered with sand in the face, she kicked at the rope around her leg with a scream. Mabel felt the sudden jolt and fell forward herself, also falling into the sand.

The girl, her opponent, was already back on her feet and running towards the tables when Mabel stood back up. From the tables, the girl had retrieved two weapons that resembled police batons.

"Police brutality!" Mabel laughed as the girl rushed at Mabel.

The jokes fell aside when Mabel saw the speed at which the girl whirled the batons in her grasp. Blurs of black sided the girls arms as she twirled them around threateningly.

"I can do that too," Mabel protested, and tried spinning her own ropes around hastily. Heavier and longer than the weapons the girl used, Mabel only half-succeeded, but smiled each time she heard the 'whoosh' sound.

"Eat tonfas," the girl snapped, and then leapt up and swiped at Mabel's head. Still in mid-swinging, her ropes, Mabel had to duck and step backwards. The weapons, identified as 'tonfas', sailed through the air effortlessly, and Mabel began only what she felt was another evasion training from Arline.

With her rope, she was unable to find real purchase to grab these weapons. They were held by one of two handles, either like a sword, or like a arm-guard. When held like a sword, they gave the girl extra reach on her attacks, but Mabel could anticipate them easier.

When held like a guard, they messed horrible with Mabel's perception of danger. They easily were twirled around, and then could be swung out. The moment Mabel went to snag one or both with her ropes, they were retracted and hidden from her. It was annoying to say the least.

Mabel felt herself bullied around the field, retreating more and more now. The attacks with the lighter, faster, weapons was dizzying. She was still able to avoid and dodge almost all the attacks, but never able to retaliate.

"Screw this!" Mabel shouted, and after she leapt back, she bundled all her rope, and threw it at her target. Heavier than she had anticipated, the girl fell back and into the sand. It was Mabel's turn to flee for the tables.

The woman was up quickly though, and readied herself again, assuming a fighting pose as she ran after Mabel. That all changed when she saw what weapon Mabel picked.

"YAAAAAAH!" Mabel roared, holding up a full-sized bastard sword over her head.

The girl panicked and ran away, towards the other side of the arena, where another table of weapons awaited them. Then it was Mabel's turn to scream and run away. The girl had tossed aside her newly acquired weapons and drawn out, for herself, a blade of equal size.

Mabel stopped running and turned in the center of the arena. The woman stalled as well, as they both held out their swords. Heavy in breath, sweaty, and covered in sand, the two began to slowly pace around one another, making a circle. Resisting the urge to scratch the sand out of her hair, Mabel blew a tuft of her brown, wavy hair from her face.

"Well then," Mabel cleared her throat.

"Yeah?" the girl asked.

"You know how to use that too?" she asked.

The girl glanced to the large sword. "Of course," she shrugged. "Use the front to stab and cut."

"Ah," Mabel nodded, "that's what I thought. You see, I'm trained with it, uh, intimately," she lied. "Like, I can tell you where the weight of it is and stuff."

The girl tilted her head and stared at Mabel. "You have no idea how to use it either," she claimed.

"What gave it away?" Mabel sighed, lowering the sword.

"You gave it the same look you did with that rope," she noted, looking to the distant pile of rope.

"Drats!" Mabel grumbled, "I need to work on my poker face."

"So, why did you pick it up then?" the girl asked, both their pacing slowing.

"Eh," Mabel shrugged, "looked like something really scary if I saw someone running at me with it over their head."

"Oh. Well, good job," she admitted to Mabel, "it worked. It's _also_ why I picked it," she sighed.

"Wow! Nice," Mabel smiled. "And the reason you're talking to me now isn't because you're secretly feeling out the sword so you know where it's center mass is?" Mabel asked with a nervous chuckle.

The girl stared back, eyes wide. "...uh... no."

"Ohh," Mabel sighed, and slowly nodded. "That's good..."

A moment passed where they said nothing to one another, and both stopped moving in a circle.

Then they both cried out and lunged at one another, swords forward. As they passed and parried one another expertly, Pushing against one another with all their strength, the two shoved each other apart, and rushed at one another.

Clang, clang, clang.

The clash of blunted steel against one another echoed. The two were locked in combat, moving with sways of control. Moments in the fight, Mabel was panicking as she lost control, backing away and trying to find footing. Then she would gain it again, and the girl would be pushed back. Back and forth.

Back and forth.

The two clashed and fight until finally Mabel used her strength to her advantage. She stabbed the sword into the ground, and as leverage lifted herself into the air, entirely avoiding a mid-section slice through the middle. As she landed, she lifted the sword and brought it down, knocking the girl to the ground.

The tip of Mabel's bastard sword now rested gently inches from the girl. Heavy panting and breathing filled the air as the two saw the outcome. Mabel smiled.

"I win," she sighed.

"Do you?" the girl asked, and looked down.

Mabel followed suit. The tip of the other bastard sword was pointed into her center.

"Ohhhh," Mabel gasped. "Stalemate!" she gasped, and looked up to the girl again. "That's crazy!"

"Yeah, it _is_," the girl nodded, out of breath.

"So... lower weapons on three?" Mabel suggested.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"1," Mabel said.

"2," the girl counted.

"3!"

Both swords fell to the sand with a gentle thud. As the girl scrambled to get up, and Mabel stepped away, they stared at each other, panting. There were levels of exhaustion Mabel had experienced fighting multiple trained bodyguards that didn't reach what she was feeling now.

"You know, you really can fight," Mabel admitted. "Who's your teacher?"

"None," the girl admitted.

"NONE?!" Mabel roared. "No way! You're so good!"

"Four years at it," she pointed to Mabel with a grin, and then started shaking her hands and arms. "How about you?"

"My master is... was... Arline Hirsch," Mabel proudly said.

"...yeah?" the girl nodded. "So, how long has she taught you?"

"About a year and a half," Mabel said.

The girl's flushed face went pale. Then she coughed, and adopted a look of causality. "Neat, I guess. Uh... can I get their number after the fight?"

Mabel gave a sad smile. The explanation as to why she couldn't tell her Arline's number anymore would be complicated, but while they were both resting, it was a good time to talk.

Then gasps, cries of excitement, and hollers of panic echoed behind Mabel. She turned, and there he was. The Knight. He was stepping out into the arena, slowly drawing his sword.

"Sir!" the fight master ran towards him, "this is an honorary battle! Do not interfe-"

The knight swiped the back-side of his gauntlet against the man's face. The 'fight master' spun in place, and collapsed onto the ground with a goofy look upon his face. Shouts and hollers and cheers followed this action from the crowd, all thoroughly convinced that this was merely another part of the show. The metal knight continued forward, his clatter of metal kicking up sand as he approached. From behind his back, he drew, to the two ladies growing dread, a sword that was easily the size of the huge being.

"That's the kind of look I was going for," Mabel gulped as she smiled, her eyes wide as they drank in the terribly intimidating sight of a blade the size of a large man.

"Not important now, kid," the girl told Mabel, rushing forward for her sword. Mabel followed suit. As they grasped their weapons and stood up fully, they met each other, side-by-side. "He's strong, and fast with his swings. But his armor won't allow him to move that fast around."

"So we'll bounce around him like cute little rabbits while nibbling his garden," Mabel grinned, gripping her blade with two hands as she stared at her newest target.

"Uh, sure, I guess. Call it whatever you want, kid," the girl snorted, shaking her head.

Mabel glanced to her, and then to the knight. He took his hands, and wrapped them around the handle, holding the sword before his helmet as a salute. Mabel snickered. "See? Told you we'd be better fighting him together."

"Not on the best terms, though," the girl admitted. "I'm tired as heck. You?" she asked.

"Ah, running on fumes too," Mabel admitted. "Plan?"

"I'm not running from him again," the girl declared.

Before them, the knight lowered his blade. With a ringing, loud voice, he called out to them. "I, Archenhuad de Serolo, guardian and protector to her Lady Taggart, challenge you to a duel."

Breathing in readiness before the knight, the ladies exchanged a glance between one another, and then opened their mouths.

"I accept that challenge!" a voice cried from the crowd.

The three turned in a quick blur. Pushing his way out from the fence, holding a folded up cardboard checkered board, was Dipper. His foot briefly caught in the fence, and as he stumbled, he mumbled curses under his breath. Clearing his throat, he approached the knight, holding out his playing pieces.

"I accept your challenge, and demand a duel by means of strategy!" he declared loudly, holding up the board, "by the means of a game of _chess_!"

"Huh?" the girl asked. Mabel merely turned her head to the side and whined similarly to a dog.

"Do not mock me, child, the knight said, lowering the sword out and pointing it towards Dipper as he approached. The crowds at this point started humming amidst themselves, uncertain to the status of the fights.

"I'm not mocking you, big guy," Dipper said, "you offered a challenge without a clearly stated type of battle. I accept your challenge and therefore," Dipper folded out the chessboard before him, allowing it to fall to his feet, "declare the situation in which we shall battle. A game of chess."

"I did not come to play a mere game," the haunting voice sneered.

"Too bad," Dipper said, "to deny me is to rebuke your claim to combat. Do you surrender?" Dipper suggested, "or perhaps you rescind your claim to a duel, and choose to 'besmirch' your honor? In front of all those gathered?"

The knight visibly shook, his helmet glancing around to the crowds.

"Did your brother or whatever he is," the girl asked Mabel, as she and her former combatant slowly lowered their swords, "just intimidate him by challenging him to chess?"

"If anyone could do that, I'd be Dipper. Almost makes using a bunch of Stronghold and Serpents words sound cool," Mable admitted.

The knight then slammed the sword into the sand, and approached Dipper. Falling to a kneel, he leaned into Dipper. "I accept."

"Good. I'll even let you go first," Dipper said, and handed out the white pieces to his opponent.

The knight chuckled. "A child, pretending to have the upper hand in a game of wit and thought?" the helmet shook side-to-side, "absurd."

"If you say so," Dipper shrugged, setting up his own pieces. Within a minute, as Mabel and the girl approached, they saw the board set, and the two combatants sit before one another, both cross-legged. Dipper was easily dwarfed by the size of the knight, yet his face was blank.

"If I win, Sir Serolo," Dipper stated, "you will no longer peruse my friends and I, and lead us to the woman."

"And when I win," the knight chuckled, "you all shall be _executed_."

"Deal," Dipper instantly said.

"What?!" the girl yelled. "You can't be serious-"

"Don't worry," Mabel smirked, putting a hand on her shoulder. "He's got it."

"He better!" the girl growled. "I don't let other's decide on my life without my say."

"Well," Dipper cleared his throat, "your move."

The knight lifted his hand and placed it on a pawn. Dipper hissed and let out a small 'ooo'. The knight lifted it's gaze to him. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing," Dipper shrugged.

The Knight looked back down to the pawn, and then lowered his hand back. After a moment, he chose another pawn, and lifted it forward.

"Huh. Interesting," Dipper said, raising an eyebrow.

"It was just the _first_ move!" the girl snapped.

"Yeah, Dipper-duty," Mabel asked, "you can't see that far ahead, can you?"

Dipper just smiled, and moved his own pawn.

The knight made to choose another piece, and Dipper hummed. The knight hesitated, and then moved another piece.

One turn followed another. Action by action, Dipper quietly, but audibly, second-guessed the knight's choices. The knight was effected each time, becoming distressed. Grunts of frustration soon followed, as Dipper would suddenly swoop in with a bishop, navigate a rook to claim an entire row. Knights were left in check against strategic spots. The knight suddenly was scratching the side of his helmet, truly uncertain to how it had suddenly gone down-hill this badly.

"This... this cannot be," the knight barely mentioned.

"It can," Dipper quickly snapped back.

"But you are a mere child!" the knight yelled. "Your knowledge of battle should be justly limited!"

Dipper snorted, and took his turn. "Ahem," he said, moving a pawn forward. "Check in two turns."

"What?!" the knight snapped.

"Really?" the girl gasped, leaning in. "I don't see it..."

"Dipper, how?" Mabel asked.

"Just watch," Dipper smirked.

"Do... do not mock me, boy," the knight snarled, and lifted a shaking hand to the board. As it moved towards one of his remaining knight pieces, Dipper groaned. The hand retreated. The hand then moved towards a pawn instead. Dipper turned his head away and cleared his throat. "Would you please be quiet!" the knight snapped.

"Sorry, but you should go," Dipper pointed out. "Chess typically only gives a minute for each player to take a turn."

"It has _not_ been a minute!" the knight yelled.

"Are you sure?" Dipper asked.

The knight gasped, and then reached down quickly and moved a piece. Dipper nodded.

"I see," Dipper said, and then moved his queen across the board. "Check in one turn."

"B-B-But," the knight protested.

"Well, go on," Dipper said, letting out a small grin.

"So this is how he's done it," Mabel let out a small chuckle, scratching her jaw.

"What?" the girl next to her asked.

"Dipper is the undefeated champion at his school," Mabel explained, "well, for a junior, that is. I always wandered how he did it. I mean, he's smart enough to do it, duh," Mabel rolled her eyes, "but he's showing off just how good he is."

The girl turned back, and then gave a small smirk. "He's controlled the battlefield the moment the game started."

"Gave the enemy the first move, made him doubt his own choices, and even made him feel a certain way," Mabel breathed, "oh, Dip, you little monster."

"I-I-I-" the knight struggled to say, shaking loudly in the armor.

"Well, c'mon," Dipper sneered.

With a roar, the knight yelled, "NO!" the knight slammed his fists into the sand, knocking the pieces over. "I will not be bullied by a child in a pathetic game! You must have cheated!"

"You saw the entire game, and played it yourself!" Dipper snapped back, but never dropping his coy grin. "And by disrupting the board, you've resigned from the match!"

"I- what?!" the knight roared.

"You heard me!" Dipper snapped.

"I will not be told," the knight darted up, blotting out the sun, "how to defend," he lifted his fist up, and Dipper recoiled, "MY TASK BY-"

As Mabel lunged forward and the girl dodged aside, another voice cried from the side-lines.

"I banish you!"

The knight collapsed. From nothingness, the armor fell into the sand, as a pile of unattached, unadorned armor. The crowds gasped and hollered in shock as the three stumbled away, staring at what was just the knight.

"Well," Mabel said, standing before Dipper, her hands sprawled out, ready to take any hits otherwise meant for Dipper, "good thing my face doesn't have to become a plum. Being hit by that gauntlet would have sucked."

The three, as Dipper stood up to join them, saw the source of the voice. Dipper had immediately noticed and recognized the tone, and saw her again. The old woman. She stood, leaning on the fence with a drawn out sigh, adjusting her wrapped bandana around her long hair. As the crowds gave to loud applause, cheering the three still in the arena, the old woman nodded and waved to them, beckoning them to approach.

"Well, it's either the worst or best trap we've encountered," Dipper suggested.

"Or she's willing to talk," Mabel gasped, and rushed forward.

The taller girl glanced to Dipper as he stayed back, and only after he returned the stare, they moved forward.

"Nice chess game," she admitted coldly.

"Glad you could keep up with my sister," he remarked with a bite.

The girl let out the tiniest of hums and scanned Dipper briefly. After that, they met with the woman, who was watching a panting Mabel before her.

"Please, you three, come with me," she nodded, and turned from the fence.

The return to the fortune telling shack was, finally, much less dangerous than they had remembered. Entering the space with candlesmoke and dim light, the three found the woman sitting by the table with many seats. She then bent down, and lifted something up, which squealed.

"WADDLES!" Mabel roared, and rushed forward, lifting the small, pink pig up into her arms. The pig in question squealed as he was re-united with Mabel. "What's on you, buddy?" she asked, noticing something wrapped around his mid-section.

The woman spoke again, her tired voice explaining. "The poor dear had been dragged along the wagon, scraping his belly against the dirt. He was quite scratched up by the time Archenhuad had felt we had gained enough distance," she explained. "I patched up his stomach just enough to stop any swelling or bleeding. He'll be fine."

"Aww, you darling, poor, pink love-machine," Mabel cried, tears falling from her eyes as she squeezed the pig, falling to the floor slowly to cuddle him.

"Mabel," Dipper sighed, patting her head gently. When she nodded to him, Dipper understood that she'd be fine. So he took a step closer to the woman, and took a seat. The girl stayed back, watching from the doorway. "Ma'am, what is going on?"

She snorted. "My protector, Archenhuad, takes his job terribly seriously," she sighed, "it has become an issue of late. He is aware of the dynamic shift in our world, and frets that it shall come to my..." she looked to the girl by the door, "lowering health."

Seating before her, Dipper leaned closer. "Just who are you, exactly?" he looked to Mabel, who was watching him closely, patting her pit. "You knew exactly my name."

She nodded. "I do know you. I know lots of things," she sighed, and reached down.

Dipper shot up in his seat. "What did you say?!" he demanded.

As she rose from her grasp, she found and folded out before them a large circle. Scribbled into in sketch-like artistry were several pictures of odd symbols. One of them made Dipper gasp- a simple picture of a tree. Another was a shooting star. Another a question mark. A stitched heart. A five-pointed star.

Dipper looked up to her, and she nodded. "I see many things. Hear many things. I... and a psychic," she said.

"A real psychic?" Dipper asked.

She nodded.

"How do you have this?" Mabel asked, lifting Waddles gently down to the floor. She came next to Dipper, looking at the large poster. "This looks... old," she noted, seeing the aged sides of the sheet.

"Forty eight years ago, I saw this prophecy," she said, "one that had laid dormant. I had to write it out, and did so here," she patted the pages. "This, you see, is one that pertains to an enemy of yours."

"Bill Cipher," Dipper coldly uttered.

"This prophecy," the woman stated, "is completed. The circle is a means to bind and remove a spirit of great power, you see," she said, "but... something changed."

"What do you mean?" Dipper asked.

"We beat Bill," Mabel explained, "we threw him, and Grunkle Ford, into the portal! They got sucker-punched so bad."

"For a time, yes," the woman said, and then reached down, and lifted a new, much less worn script. The art was different, more refined. The twins gasped. The symbols had all changed, but they recognized them as well. "This, however," she said, "is what followed."

"The one that Bill had three weeks ago," Dipper whispered.

"This is the second prophecy. Not three years ago, I felt the pull in a dream, and drew this immediately after awakening. It is the return of-"

"Bill?" Mabel asked.

The woman shook her head. "Of magic."

"Magic?" the girl from the doorway asked.

"Yes. You see, inadvertently," the woman explained, "the wish killer-"

"Who?" Dipper asked.

"Bro," Mabel chuckled, "clearly Bill we're talkin' about."

"The one known as Cipher," the woman explained, "has name names. Bill. Wish-Killer. Cosmic Con-man. He is the corrupter and deal-drinker. Before mankind and surely after them, unless something drastic is done," she explained, "but he is less of a concern. The well-pool of magic returning brings doom to us all."

"Does it really?" Dipper asked.

"Yes. Not all face the same risks as you," the lady again turned to the girl by the door. "But all face it."

"What do you mean?" the girl asked.

A sad smile crept onto the woman's face. "You should not seek revenge in a time like this. Your family... they may need you nearby now more than ever."

The girl, stoic and stony in appearance, shifted. From her leaning against the door, she turned and slowly walked away, holding arms in her hands.

"Who is she? You know her too?" Mabel asked.

The woman nodded. "A time may yet come where her call will be sounded."

Dipper leaned forward, "but this magic crisis. Is it really just magic that's the issue?"

"Nooo," the lady shook her head, "it is those who will twist it to their power. Bend it to their will."

"Heh," Dipper smirked to Mabel, "told ya."

Mabel shoved him gently, and looked to the woman. "It's Graupner, isn't it?"

The lady shook her head. "More complicated issues arise before the child of darkness will have his time. That lich will have many years before he is truly a threat to the world."

"Years?" the twins gasped.

"Another crisis will arise from him, however, which will be connected to this one. I tell you now," she suddenly looked to her watch, "fourteen minutes... quickly," she stood, and grasped Dipper and Mabel as she did, standing them with her, "stay with your friends. Trust your hearts and your minds. It is these reasons that you are chosen to this path. Only together, and using your greatest strengths, can the four of you," she looked to the twins closely, "yes, _four_ of you, stand in the way of the wave of madness that the child of darkness will spawn."

She let their arms go, trembling. "Now, quickly leave. Archenhuad will return within half a minute, and surely come to check on me. Go, my children."

"O-okay," Mabel nodded, and scooped up Waddles. As she made for the doorway, Dipper stalled. "Dipper, c'mon."

He looked to the woman, halfway between his sister and the prophet. "Tell me, if you see so much... is Zander really on our side?"

The woman's smile trembled, but she held firm. "To ask such an answer of such a thing would be to ask the same to yourself, Dipper Pines. Are you a good person... always?" she posed, and then sat down. "Now, go."

Hastily leaving the shop, but with Dipper lagging behind, the twins were met outside, alone. The tall girl had already gone.

Now alone, and with an injured pig, and more questions than answers, the twins made for the last place they could thing before meeting back up with Soos and Wendy: Mina the mastodon and Gullian.

"Well," the circus man stated as they explained their story, "sounds like quite the interesting adventure."

"Typical day, really," Dipper shrugged. "Wish she had told us more before kicking us out, though."

"We just wanted to come say goodbye again," Mabel smiled, letting Waddles rest on the fence, facing his girlfriend.

"Well, it's sad to say that I'm not sure when we'll be so lucky to meet again," Gullian said, patting the woolly animal next to him. "Circus life has us moving all year round, really. Mina and I will be nearly impossible for anyone to really trace, even resourceful kids like yourselves."

"Aww, sorry Waddles," Mabel hugged her pig, who eyed his massive girlfriend with a twinkle in his eye.

Yet as she did, Dipper put a hand on her shoulder. As she rose to face him, she gasped. Dipper had the look she had seen only a few times when death had come. A surrender of sorts. She turned to her pig, and shook her head. "No."

"Mabel... this is the best place for him."

"No!"

He turned away from her, and with a shaky voice, asked Mister Gullian, "sir, do you think that Waddles could stay with Mina?"

"Dipper!" Mabel shouted, slapping him, full force, on the shoulder.

"Uh, I don't know," the man shrugged, studying the twins with worry. "I suppose so. Wouldn't be too bad."

"He is my pig, Dipper," Mabel cried, holding the pink animal tightly.

"And this is the life you want for him?" he asked, nodding to the bandages. "One the edge, like us?"

"I want him _close_!" she sobbed.

"I... I do too," Dipper said, patting Waddles ears gently. "But we can't drag him around us like this. What if this gets worse? Like that the lady said?"

Mabel held out her pig before her. Her arms shook slightly as she supported the weight of a pig that had once been much, much smaller. His beady little black eyes stared back at her, a quizzical questioning look that he nearly always had when Mabel just stared at him. The times, the memories, the two entire summers she had spent with this loving, caring animal... the years she remembered where he was just a few counties away...

Mabel gulped as she pulled the pig into a hug. "I need you, buddy," she croaked loudly, "to stay with Mina for a bit. Okay?" Mabel asked.

Waddles gave the only answer he could.

He oinked.

"Good boy," Mabel said between a hiccup. Walking over to the fence, she slowly lowered the pig into the waiting trunk of Mina, who then raised him up onto her back. As Mabel cried, watching her beloved, trusting, faithful companion be carried away, the Mastodon patted her head. Mabel couldn't resist- grabbing the trunk and pulling it into a hug. "Now, Mina, you be super good to him. He's the best!" she cried. Mina patted her again, and then lifted her trunk away, resting as it usually did, but with a happier little swing in it's place.

"Good luck, kids," Gullian sighed. "I'll make sure Waddles get's fed and rest as good as Mina does."

"Thank you, sir," Dipper said, slowly escorting his weary sister away.

As the two made for the exit of the Renaissance Fair, the colors and sounds seemed muted. The air of sweet confections and heavy, toasted breads were less enticing than they had been two hours ago. The day, starting it's descent into afternoon, was not one that provided comfort. To Mabel and Dipper, it was just the two of them, arms around their shoulders, as they left through the front gate.

"He'll be fine," Dipper assured her.

"I know," Mabel nodded. "I'm still going to miss him."

"And still love him," Dipper reminded her with a smile.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Well, we should get going," Dipper said, looking ahead. "I see Wendy and Soos over there."

"Yeah," Mabel nodded, and in a zombie-like trance, stumbled ahead.

"Hey," Dipper asked, "you gonna be okay?"

"Maybe later," Mabel sighed. "I just... I just want a nap."

"Yeah. I can drive," Dipper said with a gentle smile.

As Mabel walked slowly ahead, Dipper stalled, and turned to the sounds of a roaring motorcycle. Louder and more reverberant than Mabel's, Dipper saw the girl, the strange girl they had met this day, exiting the park atop what, Dipper could only describe as, a make-shift and entirely scrap-yard quality motorized bicycle. A license plate read 'C0R4L1N3'.

"Just who was that?" Dipper asked, squinting after the vanishing bike. Only then did he realize that his sister was gaining distance. "Mabel! Wait!" And with that, Dipper ran after his broken hearted sister.

* * *

Wow. This got out of hand. Was supposed to be, ehh, maybe 27-28 pages long. WHERE DID 40 COME FROM!?

I'm so tired guys, I wish I could say I've got it in me to update with anything, but honestly, I'm pooped out. Next week's update, and either get confused, weirded out, excited, or concerned, is simply entitled, 'The Haunted Mansion'.

It is EXACTLY what you think it is. Enjoy! ;)

(A mountain of words explodes out from EZB's mouth like a fountain. As they funnel out, he slowly shrivels and shrinks down until he deflates like an old party balloon. That's actually kind of gross when you think about it. Yuch.)

* * *

In the fortune teller's tent, the woman shuffled her cards, looking at the pacing knight.

"You aught not banish me," he scolded her.

"And you know better than to not listen to my orders," she glared back, and finally played out six tarot cards. As she played them out, a wind whipped into the room. The very first card was played, and she gasped. The card of death was revealed and she looked up to a man in a black cloak, lowering a mask of silver.

The knight turned and bowed. "Master, you have returned."

"I need to speak with Aisling, Archenhuad," Zander said as he lowered the hood on his head. Without hesitation, the knight nodded, and marched away. "So," he said, "you met the twins."

"And another young lady," she said with a grin.

"What did you tell them?" he asked stepping closer.

"The warnings that they aught know," she admitted.

"Do they know about my-"

"Relax, Orvar," she said to Zander, "they know nothing of your past. Your secrets are, and always shall, be safe with me."

"My past can't hurt them," he sighed, taking a seat before her, and lifting the card she flipped, of a skeleton in a cloak, "but my future may."

She sighed and shook her head, flipping over another card. "Times are coming that will test you all. One failure," she revealed a card of goofy looking dancer with a ball-mask, "may lead to greater beginnings."

"You know I don't believe in tarot cards," Zander smirked.

"I do," she winked, "but you fear yourself. As you should," the woman leaned closer. "Corduroy suspects you."

Zander nodded. "Maybe she should."

"She will ask very soon."

Zander sighed. "I see."

"Will you help her?" the lady asked, leaning even closer. "Her future may depend on your willingness to inflict pain onto another soul."

Zander stood sharply up. With a flourish, he spun from her, the cloak whipping in the air. Over his shoulder, he called out, "should another prophecy arise, and I'm still around, summon me." And he vanished from the room in a gust of movement.

The lady in the room sighed and sat back down into her seat. She rapidly, one by one, flipped over the rest of the cards. As she read the total fortune before her, she hummed. "Time waits for no one, my old friend. Well, perhaps only you and your old friends," she sighed, "as my mother once told you, I'm sure," she added, and leaned back in the chair,

* * *

**-Vigenere-**

**Se vhp, aw beho, hi uny, dozrw kr wrrildeu xyhwn tkh oejgevw doq. Lrrssiueev vaisg oi wtqwo yhw nsea, bxw vrgsiqj elw sougd qsu hdyp xzam xqosfa. Tkh semjtlqr xaas ri elw lavw wsfc frursl, youuzhw phh wpxzarv rq jjeeqgdlal wurfkzp. Epsec gb fhhwmfc aqg oinkig rq tsen, wkp psot hfsswo oi xyhwwtk iwekd iq ylmf. Phh fcekdiqj elmjdhu cyexlhv zzwn tkh wefz, cdowmfc agyprlqrh lyxg phh pzwl zevspvspe ri apsj. Tkrdi odo dup pgreg dci dafw eplajd dqo pgot, irc xzaiu vljwpy frxik wt jupel leuvzrsh crve. Rgs wlws xza fxwfvw zaunprajg dqo jmpuuh rsajg glx, azk eovp mk heiw es zals efx lde fozwwot ri vmf?**


	82. The Haunted Mansion: Part 1

When storms fade off a warm day in the southern Atlantic coast of the USA, often times a dark line of clouds will reside, leaving reminders to the rain that passed. Sometimes, a fog will rise from the sea, providing a eerie calm to an otherwise crashing shoreline. One special days, they happen simultaneously, and a gray, featureless day arises.

In the early hours of such a day, near the southern tip of Georgia, such a day was brewing. In the dim light of a day not yet at dawn, a small airboat propelled it's way out of a large cluster of reeds. Two figures, a man currently steering the ship, and a younger man, sitting calmly in one of the six seats, watched the gentle, calm waters. As the boat emerged from the mess of vegetation, the engine was cut, and the ship began to drift out into open water.

No wind met them, and so the ship sailed ahead, unhindered in it's efforts. The older man, of small wrinkles and dark liquorish skin, peeked around with squinted eyes. A fisherman cap atop his head, he stared into the fog with a weary eye. The younger man, of a gently milder complexion and an tired but pleased look, yawned loudly.

"Shh," the older one scolded, "you'll scare 'em," he said with a twang.

"Sorry dad," the younger man nodded, "don't want to upset the crowd."

"They ain't gunna bite if they hear us," the older man sniffed, and looked off into the fog.

"Assuming they're out here," the boy said, of a clearer vernacular. He leaned closer to his father as the old man approached him, scooping up a box of fisherman tools, and setting up a fishing line. "I thought it was a bad time to fish when it rained."

"It is, but 'tain't raining," the man shook his head, and glanced above, "ain't gonna rain for a while. Early. Foggy. Fish'll bite now. Good dad and son time," he added with a wink.

"If you say so," the younger man nodded with his own smirk, and also looked around.

From the low and thick fog, a dark looming approached. The son, sharper, wider eyes than his father spotted it quickly. "Hey," he patted his dad, and the man glanced up. Though the father said nothing, his eyes honed in on the sight and he stalled his knotting.

"Dad, I thought we're past Marsh Island," the son said, glancing to his dad after a moment.

"We are," the older man said, his eyes growing wider.

"Then... is that Cumberland Island?" the son asked with confusion. "We only just got out of the marshes. Did I miss-" the son looked to his father again, and realized the apprehension on the old man's face, "...something?"

The old man finally looked to his son. After a long pause, where even the gentlest of cresting waters seemed to shout into the quiet water around them, the man spoke up.

"That there's Gracey Island," the man warned and cleared his throat, going back tying knots together.

The son stared at his father. After a good pause of five or so seconds, the son let out a prolonged, disbelieving laugh.

"What?" he said, shaking his head, and looking to the distant shadows, "Gracey Island?" he stared and tried focusing in on the distant object. Through the foggy outline and distant image, a vacant, warn and weathered docks awaited. The mist billowed around it, a slow, steady stream of water vapor, much like the river they floated on.

The son snorted. "That's just a scary story."

"It _is_," the father noted.

With a quick look to his father, the son added, "_only_ a story."

"No," the fisherman gulped. "It's a real place."

The son chuckled gently. His father, unblinking and open in his fear, stared into the unbelieving eyes of his son. The effect took a toll on the son, and his courage and steadfast humor waned. Slowly, he turned back to the island, watching the fog around it twist and turn in disturbing shapes.

"This is gonna be as close as we get," the father noted.

"Dad," the son looked to him as he shook his head, "it's not haunted. I don't care what the news and what the tabloids have been saying: ghosts aren't real."

"They said mermaids been round 'ere," the father noted, "round that island."

The son laughed. "Even if there _were_ mermaids, like real, live, mermaids, they'd have nothing to do with ghosts, dad," the son chided.

"Mermaids are supernatural. So are ghosts."

"C'mon dad," the son sighed.

"We ain't going near that island," the father announced with a low growl. "Cursed land."

"There's no such thing as curses," the son said easily. "Or ghosts. Or mermaids. Are dragons real, dad?" he asked pointedly. Before the father could do anything other than glare at his son, there was a loud bump on the bottom of the boat. The father jumped, holding his chest. "It's probably just a manatee, dad," the son snickered. "Don't be so..."

The son's eyes were being pulled away. In the water, he saw a dark figure. Many dark figures. He slowly stood up, gasping for air. It was amazing to see: life in such numbers swimming all in the same direction. The father noted as well, and spun to look at the direction, and he too shot up.

"See?" the son patted his father's shoulder, "just manat-"

Then a human-like head bobbed out of the water just a few feet from them before promptly re-submerging. The two gasped, and the son's mouth fell open. The murky depths made it hard to see, but they were both certain they saw copper-like skin and long, dark hair. Now, among the mix of the swimming figures, were bodies that held humanoid resemblances, with fishy tails.

The father jabbed his son with a rigid finger in the chest. "Next time maybe you'll listen to your pap."

"It's probably just an illusion," the son said, his head shaking in place as he spoke.

The father grasped inside the boat for a hand-net. "We're gonn' catch one!"

"Dad, no!"

"If we send it to fancy science folk, they'll reward us money," the dad argued with a nervous grin.

A pair of hands grasped the side of the boat, and the two screamed. The net was dropped as a man emerged from the water. Long, wavy chocolate hair fell past his head, and two deep brown eyes peered at them. The creature, sporting only a sea-shell necklace, smiled at them with a parting in his front two teeth.

"Hola!" he quickly waved to them, using only the silkiest and graceful of Latino accents, "I need to warn you-"

"MERMAID!" the father shouted, scrambling for his net.

"Dad, stoppit!" the son said, trying to prevent him from gathering the net.

"Really?" the creature in the water sighed, rolling his eyes quickly, "_merman_! I am clearly male! Look at these pectorals!" he said, pushing himself away gently, flashing his well toned, muscular chest.

The son, holding his father back, who was trembling, approached. "Are you really a mer... folk?" he asked.

"Yes, but you are in danger!" the young-adult looking creature leaned in closer, "you need to distance yourself from the island quickly now!"

"I told you!" the father whacked the boy's head with a quick punch. The son winced, flinching in pain, only for them to scramble away from the other side of the boat as another figure arose from the water. This time a manatee, wearing a large pink dress and a golden and red crown, emerged and spoke in fluent English.

"Please," she spoke in a calm, soothing voice, "retreat from this river! Back to shore with you, landwalkers!"

"Oh my god, manatees can talk," the boy said, his mouth falling open.

"Please!" the merman begged. "Get out of here before-"

From the island, a terrible bellowing wail cut into the air. The fog parted, and the distant island finally came into focus. Tall trees of close proximity covered the island, which was a lone hill in the river. Atop the trees shone the single building that inhabited the island, and the two in the boat felt their blood freeze as they saw it, finally. As their eyes focused, the two figures dived back into the water and vanished.

A single, derelict, but still standing, mansion.

Yet what made them scream and scramble in their boat was not the sight of the building, nor the island, nor the scream that seemingly parted all the fog from around it. It was the racing of shapes that poured out form the island. Spectral, warped forms that mocked life in movement flew around them. Screams of pain, shouts of terror, and wails of sorrow flooded the air.

The son, ever the current and up-to-date fellow he was, took to his father's stunned inaction, and raced to the controls. With one look to the terrible sights around them, and now steering the boat away, the son had only one thing to say:

"NOPE!"

The airship roared life back into the river, and soared away.

The terrible, misty images slowly faded and dissipated from the mist, falling away into only the fragments of what they had been. The fog slowly returned to it's fullest, and the island was blanketed by it's mist.

Half a mile up river, the gathering of thirty merfolk and manatees breached the surface. The one with a crown floated to the one with a gap in his teeth.

"What shall we do, my darling?" the manatee asked, holding her stubby, short arms against his toned, humanoid ones.

The merman shook his head. "The island's curse grows. It may no longer be say for our peoples to inhabit these shores soon," the man worried.

"But that would mean evacuating many communities," the manatee royalty reminded him.

"Yes..." the merman stared at the distant mist, a scornful glare in his eyes. "This human haunting has gone on long enough without resolution. We need someone to end this, for all our sakes!"

"But who, my lord?" a blond mermaid approached, worried as she looked between the merman and manatee. "Humans are still terribly frightened of us! They may try catching us if we ask for aid. Or just turn away and flee!"

"I hate to agree, but you are correct," the male merfolk growled, and splashed the surface of the river. "I only know of two who I could trust, and as far as I know, they are painfully far away."

The manatee queen tapped her fin onto the merman's shoulder. "I may know of one. My father spoke of a dark figure who has had many dealings with such loathsome things. Perhaps... he can be of aid to us?"

The merman shrugged. "How do we contact him?" he asked.

As if on cue, the manatee lifted a cell phone from under the water, and dialed it quickly. It rang only briefly before the tone was cut. "Daddy," the crowned manatee asked, "I need you to call the human you told me about. Yes," she nodded, "Yes that one: the Guardsman."

* * *

Fifteen hours and nine minutes had passed since Waddles was left to Mina the Mastodon, and Mabel felt every single second of it a long, dreadful, absence.

It was early in the morning, and the group had come to stop on a beach parking lot off the highway. Dipper, late in the night, had tried cheering up Mabel by taking her to see the sea while they had rested. And true, Dipper had fallen asleep hours ago, still in his car, Mabel had never once rested her eyes. On a banking of sand some fifty feet away from the parked cars, Mabel sat on the sand, staring at the grey morning. The waves were short and crashed often, providing a din that only submerged Mabel further in her mind.

Her entire train of thought was combative. She struggled against her own criticisms, for once, and made poor defense in replying fully.

_**You left behind waddles.**_

_He was in danger if he stayed._

_**You could have protected him better.**_

_I... can protect the people I care about._

_**You can't even protect yourself!**_

_Yes I-_

_**Waddles is a pig. **_

_So!?_

_**How could you protect him? **_

_The same way I-_

_**How could you protect your friends? Your own brother?**_

Mabel sniffled and rubbed her ears. She patted the sides of her hard, trying to 'knock away' the terrible self-doubt that had infected her. Had she made the right choice? Was she arguing with her own selfish reasons for wanting Waddles around her? It was hard for her to say, as she was so tired she couldn't even think in complete thoughts.

Yet she would not sleep. Sorrow crushed her.

Maybe it was her sleepiness that deprived her sharp senses from warning her of someone coming up to her. Maybe she was too deep in thought to recognize someone joining her. It didn't matter: she barely flinched when a girl with long, red hair sat next to her with a sigh, resting her arm on her knee and looking out to the sea.

"Mabel," Wendy said with a gentle smile.

"Hey," Mabel smiled back, trying her best to emulate happiness.

"You haven't slept yet," Wendy pointed out.

"No, not feeling like a sleepyhead," Mabel lied.

"You sure?" Wendy asked.

"Sure as a shore," Mabel winked.

Wendy slowly nodded. "Uh huh. You cold at all?" she said, eying Mabel's exposed lower legs.

"Eh," Mabel shrugged.

"I'm just guessing, because you've got some goose bumps on your skin there," she nodded to Mabel's legs, and Mabel then scooted them closer to her.

"I'm okay," she insisted.

"You sure? I could get you one of the blankets in the car-"

"No, don't bother," Mabel said, smiling her best attempt. Wendy's concerned stare only told Mabel that she hadn't succeeded, and then dropped all pretenses of happiness. "I miss him, Wendy."

"Waddles?" she asked. Mabel nodded. "I know, man. He was a pretty cool pig."

"There may never be a pig so cool," Mabel added with a sniff.

"But... he's going to be okay, right?" Wendy asked with the smallest of smiles. "Dipper didn't want to, uh, tell us anything you didn't want to say first."

Mabel rolled her eyes. "That's stupid. I'm not hiding anything else," she grumbled, and turned to Wendy, "we found him by the lady's place, and when we had to go, Dipper thought that, after all that had happened, maybe it was time we sent him somewhere he could be safe," Mabel grumbled.

"And happy," Wendy added.

"What?"

"He said that he'd be happy with Mina," Wendy shrugged.

"He better be," Mabel added, "because if he's not, I'll break every nose in my path to get back to my pig."

"Dang, Mabel," Wendy whistled.

"He's my pig. My Waddles," she said tearfully.

"Dude," Wendy scooted closer, wrapping her arm around Mabel, "that pig has seen some crazy stuff. He was there when we beat Bill three years ago. He was here when we escaped the reality explosion thing three weeks ago. That pig is about as tough as we are, and as fluffy as you," she added with a clever grin.

"Pssh, stop it," Mabel struggled and failed to contain a smile. She then looked to Wendy. "I'm just scared that, well, if I can't protect a pig, how will I protect everybody?"

"Mabel, dude, first of all," Wendy leaned in, "don't worry about me. Right? Solid as an oak!" she said, thumping her chest with her fist.

"But what about Dipper?" Mabel asked.

"What about him?" Wendy asked, her eyes squinting, to study Mabel.

"Well, he was really ready to use magic to find Waddles," Mabel explained, "even though he's seen the kinds of people who really use magic."

"Huh, really?" Wendy said, her face suddenly resembling stone. Mabel looked ahead to the sea, not noticing the red-heads change.

"I mean, Gideon used magic. Bill _is_ magic. Graupner, Mister Steindorf, Grunkle Ford; they've all used or use magic. Dipper wants to be on the same list of all those people?" Mabel asked, "someone who uses magic?"

"Well, I mean," Wendy shrugged, "lists always have exceptions. Like my family," she smirked, "mostly dudes- well, mostly men. I'm a dude, but I'm also a chick."

"And I'm worried about you," Mabel added.

"Heh," Wendy sighed, and played with a small tuft of sand next to them, "I wouldn't."

"But I can't help it!" Mabel cried out, turning to her fully, "you're always hurting, and no matter what Dipper wants to think he can do-"

"Mabel," Wendy put her hands on Mabel's shoulders. "Look man. I'm okay. It's not perfect, right? But I was alone for nearly nine months straight in three separate years. This? This adventure Zander's sending us on is crazy, dangerous, and all sorts of insane. But," she added with a smile, "I get to keep company. That's more than I can say I had this winter. And besides, now I can go on walks in boggy woods without worrying about mosquitoes. Won't even come close to me," she winked.

"Some pros to being undead?" Mabel asked.

"There's a few. Weird senses," Wendy listed off with her fingers, "can't really be hurt or killed, don't really need to eat or drink... if that's really a pro," she grumbled.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself or..." Mabel stalled, looking at Wendy with shimmering eyes.

The redhead studied her. Where a gaze from green met hazel, a connection of unspoken worry was bridged. Wendy slowly nodded, and stared out into the sea.

"Mabel, as long as nothing really bad happens to me, I think we'll be okay, I mean, I'll be okay," she sighed. "I've put up with too much to get all this way just to go crazy at the end of it," she admitted.

"Man, when you sat it like that, that makes Soos probably the luckiest of all of us," Mabel snickered. "Doesn't have magic problems, or crazy people looking for him specifically when we're not around," Mabel chuckled.

"Ehhh," Wendy turned her head around her shoulder, looking to the dragster that Soos had adopted from Stanley. "I dunno. He's been mumbling a lot in his sleep lately." Mabel made to open her mouth, but a loud door slam shocked her and she closed her eyes. Wendy turned to the direction, and chuckled. "It's your brother."

"Course it is," she mumbled.

Stepping through the sand behind them was Dipper. Groggy, and looking more than just sour, the teenager looked to the two ladies as he approached.

"We gotta wake up Soos," he said loudly.

"Why?" Wendy called back, letting Mabel rest on her sand mound.

"I just got a text from Zander," Dipper grunted. "He says to call back. It's urgent."

Mabel scrambled to her feet, her eyes wide as new adrenaline pumped into her ears. "Zander? What?"

"I don't know," Dipper sighed, "hasn't replied to my text asking for details. We'll just call."

Waking Soos was not any kind of chore. The large man-child shot up with a sudden jolt, saying the last things from his dream, and quickly apologized. Before he could explain his last words, Dipper already wrangled him to Wendy and Mabel, and the three of them stood, atop a sandy hill, as Dipper called Zander Maximillion.

The man of many identities answered curtly. "Good morning, Angles," he chuckled.

"Cut the humor. It's too early," Dipper grumbled.

"Hi Zander!" Mabel smiled earnestly, warming her face with a flush. "Has everything been good with the paths since the florida fights in the woods?"

"Yup," Zander replied curtly, "we mopped everything up. A lot of people had to be hospitalized, and are being treated for psychiatric re-conditioning."

"Huh?" Mabel tilted her head to one side.

"Doctors are trying to fix their brainwashing," Dipper summarized.

"Oh! Goodie!" Mabel smiled.

"And while I can say the fight is over, I still have some weird, unsolved mysteries from that night," Zander added. Dipper shifted in his seat, glaring at the phone.

"So, where's the next Starkissed?" Dipper asked.

"Actually," Zander said slowly, "I'm not calling about Starkissed. I think."

"Huh? Wait, something else came up?" Wendy gasped.

"Oh dude, maybe we'll meet Godzilla?" Soos asked excitedly, "I always wanted to meet a godzilla."

"No, sadly enough, no godzillas to report about," Zander said, the faintest of an auditory smile in his voice. Soos sighed and his shoulders dropped in disappointment. "I have a favor to ask of you four."

"What?" Dipper growled.

"Sure!" Mabel squeaked. "Anything!"

"Mabel!" Dipper hissed.

"Not an hour ago, I was contacted by the king of the Manatees, Manatros," Zander began, "and he's calling in a favor I owe. You see-"

"Wait, are you just dumping a favor you owe onto us?" Dipper snapped. "Really?"

"Dipper, I'm sorry, but with my current state, I'm not equipped to handle this situation. In fact, my presence could actually make it worse," Zander sighed across the phone. "And you four have experience in this kind of matter."

"Well, let's hear it," Mabel chirped.

Dipper leaned forward to her, and quietly shook his head. "No way," he whispered. "He's already having us run around the country. Why is he sending us around like errand boys?!"

"Because he trusts us," Mabel calmly replied. Dipper recoiled, his face screwed up in a scowl. Mabel's inner mind felt the dark clouds of doubt return, and she quickly looked to Soos and Wendy. "What do you guys think?"

"Dude, Zander's chill," Soos shrugged. "I'm in."

When Mabel and Dipper looked to Wendy, she gave each a significant look, and nodded. "Let's have him explain it first," she said, "and then we'll decide."

"Okay, fine," Dipper nodded slowly, and lifted the phone back up, "let's hear the details."

The voice on the phone picked back up. "On the southern edge of Georgia is a uncharted island on modern maps. This island was once known as Gracey Island. Now, the reason it no longer is on maps is because over one hundred and fifty years ago, it was cursed."

The gang all exchanged silent reactions. Dipper groaned, putting a hand over his face. Wendy closed her eyes and let out a steady breath. Soos cringed and leaned away from the phone. Mabel, on the other hand, just said, "Yuch!"

"I don't know the exact specifics of the curse, but since it came to be, no one inhabits, comes close to, or marks the map on anything. It is a self-containing curse... or at least," Zander grumbled, "It was until recently."

"Can't be worse than cursed gems that swap gender, right?" Dipper snickered. The three glared at him.

"This is very serious," Zander snapped over the phone, his voice suddenly rising. "Curses are not something to take lightly!"

"I know," Dipper hissed, "it was just a joke."

"This curse, to my guess-timation," Zander admitted, "became agitated around the same time the Stone of Conservation was destroyed. The return of magic is causing whatever negative energies manifest there to amplify. The curse may have been dormant for the past one hundred and fifty years, but according to the locals, it's growing in size and potency."

"So how do we get there?" Dipper sighed. The others looked to him, surprise behind their looks. "What?" Dipper shrugged, "I don't care who sends us, but a curse isn't something we should just turn from."

"Aww, bro," Mabel rubbed his head through his hat, "you're so good sometimes."

"Sometimes!?" he barked.

Zander continued. "There use to be a landbridge that connected Gracey Island to Jekyll Island. But the southern bridge was eroded by water. I can only guess that the curse had something to do with that."

"Wait, so there's no way to get to it unless we, what, swim?" Dipper argued.

"I have a boating license," Soos lifted a hand.

"One legal for Georgia?" Dipper inquired.

"Such license is absence," Soos lowered his hand.

"No," Zander said, "no renting a boat. That could put others in Graupner's path. That Warlock has enough anger issues to dish out on us. We don't need more caught in his crosshairs."

"Fine. How do we get there?" Dipper asked.

"There is a dock in the Fancy Bluff Creek, which empties into the same river that Gracey Island sits in," Zander explained, "the locals that contacted me will get you across without endangering themselves."

"Wow," Mabel smiled, "I like them already!"

"Well Zander, you're sending us on a super-secret mission to a cursed island and we have no idea what to expect," Soos summarized, "what can you tell us about the horrible past of the island?"

Zander paused.

"Actually... not much."

"Wait, what?!" Wendy said. "You always know stuff! Like, weird, kind of important things," she admitted, scratching her hair.

"I know the 'before the curse island' Gracey Island," Zander admitted. "It was named for the family which owned it- the Gracey's. They were a politically and economically rich family, who had a lot of respect in the days post-civil war. They made a lot of wealth in vessel ownership. Aside from that, their wikipedia just sort of ends by saying the fell from power in the eighteen sixt-."

"You're reading this from a wikipedia!?" Dipper shouted.

"Yeah?" Zander asked over the phone. "Why?"

"Is that where you get most of your credible information?" Wendy asked.

"Uh... no," Zander said shakily, "only the times when I actually don't know anything about it. Look, guys," he said, hearing the groans of worry from most of the group, "this just came up on my radar. I don't like rushing into situations without a bit of planning, but to the people in the area, this needs to be solved soon. Their lives and livelihoods depend on us helping them. So I don't have time to go rummaging around an ancient library, okay?"

"Well," Mabel caressed the phone from Dipper's hand, "we're going to do it. As long as this curse doesn't snag or possess us or anything, I'm two hundred percent in."

"Great!" Zander exclaimed, and Mabel nearly swooned.

Dipper snatched back the phone. "Zander, do you really think it's just a curse? Could there be Starkissed there? It kind of feels like wherever we go, we find some of this stuff nearby paranormal things."

"There could be," Zander said, "or there may not be. Curses are weird things. Starkissed tend to attract magical entities to them, but curses have their own science to them outside of standard magic. If a Starkissed was use to create a curse, the sudden reactions to the surge in magic could cause it to expand like this, or it may be that the curse never had enough residual magical energy to grow on it's own, and only now-"

"Man," Dipper suddenly cut in, a crooked smile worn, "you certainly know a lot about magic for someone who always talks against using it."

A venomous pause followed his words. Mabel stared at her brother, a hot, angry red creeping into her face. Soos looked between the twins, and took two half steps away, before Zander finally replied.

"I have had a lot of time to learn from my enemies, Dipper," Zander coolly replied.

"Uh, Zander, speaking of which," Wendy cut in.

"Sorry guys, I need to go. I trust you can find your way to the docks in Fancy Bluff Creek. Good luck," he said, the faintest traces of disregard in his voice. The line then cut.

As Dipper pocketed the phone slowly, his sister walked past him, shoving his shoulder deliberately. "Hey! What?!" he demanded.

"Nothing," Mabel snapped, "It's not like I wanted to talk to him or anything!"

"Mabel, he was hiding..." Dipper started, but she whipped away from him, and got inside the car, taking the driver's seat long before Dipper could. "Dang it, Mabel," he quietly said.

"She's just tense, dawg," Soos patted his shoulder, "you know, like 'I just lost my soul animal' tense. Like a twelve on the one to ten scale of tense and emotionally raw. Like a-"

"Thank you, Soos, I got it," Dipepr glared at him.

"Awesome dude, just making sure," Soos patted his shoulder genuinely, and made for the El Diable dragster.

Dipper turned to Wendy, only to find her walking past him. "Wendy?" Dipper asked, "you... you're one Mabel's side here?"

"Look Dipper," Wendy turned, shaking her head, "I don't like that Zander isn't telling us everything. He's clearly not. But we need his help."

"Do we?" Dipper asked Wendy.

"Yes," she nodded firmly, "I think _we_ do," she noted, and walked to her bike.

Dipper decided it was better to climb into the back seats of the car that morning, rather than take passenger. With Mabel's driving, for better or worse, the four turned away from their stop on Hilton Head Island and made their way south. Tracing footsteps back down the highway to their destination, the trip was an entirely silent one.

Mabel's face was screwed up with determination and visible frustration. From his back-seat, Dipper could see his sister's state from the windshield reflection. Her anger, either justified or otherwise, was an intimidating one.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was right. Zander had to be a bad guy here; one that just happened to be on their side at the time, right? Dipper reflected on the last time a person of great authority came into his life and he trusted him.

Three years ago, when Stanford Pines returned through the portal, and fooled the whole gang. Acting on Bill's orders, re-tuning the portal, acting as an agent for Cipher, and the whole time using Dipper and Mabel to turn on one another. It hadn't mattered how he had admitted, right at the end, how much he hated to do it. What matters is that Ford had done it- betrayed his family for Bill.

Even if he had been the one to sacrifice himself at the end, allowing them to throw him, becoming possessed by Bill, back into the portal. Dipper clenched his fist, the pain from that night still a part of his life. In the end, their connection to their friends and Stanley had grown, but at the cost of Ford.

Dipper realized, as he stared at the many groves and bayous as the traveled southward, that since then he had never come to trust any adult who claimed to want to help without relaying their real deal. Zander could just be the next Ford.

He wouldn't ever let his guard down. Even if they were on the same side.

Some hour and a half later, they were off the highway again and taking a curving, winding road into the swampy lands of coastal Georgia. Moss spanned the thin leaves of the trees above them, further filtering out the light on the day of gray that had become their morning.

It wasn't even nine by the time they finally arrived. Mabel parked the car, and glanced back to her brother. "You ready?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded back.

All four exited, and met behind Dipper's car.

"Okay, I've had some time to think about it," Dipper said as the back door opened, "but curses cover a wide-range of topics. If this is a curse laid on by energy alone, we just need to sprinkle some anointed water, salt, and some burning sage through the island," Dipper explained, "and the curse will dissipate."

"Okay," Soos collected a water-gun for such a thing, a salt-shaker, and a pile of herbs into his arms, "I am the person for that job."

"If this is a curse that was made by disrupting natural energies, we need to un-do that disruption. If," Dipper gave the condition some thought, "say, someone built a house on a fairy spring, we'd need to demolish the house."

"Ohh!" Mabel raised her hand, "I can do that!"

"Same here, brotha," Wendy nodded, and the two high-fived," demolition experts."

"Right," Dipper rolled his eyes, "and if what I think is going on is true, we'll maybe also need some more anointed water, an EMF detector, and my journals," Dipper sighed, "because my guess is that this is also a haunting."

"Like that wicked ghost in Pacificas house!" Mabel said. "Axe him a question about this, hehehe."

"What?" Wendy gasped. She glanced to Soos expectantly.

"Yeah, I missed that one too," Soos shrugged, "sorry, no juicy deets from me."

Dipper collected his own anointed water, and put it in his vest. As he lifted the EMF detected, and gave it a test, it screeched horribly. "Whoa! What!?" Dipper gasped. Turning in his place, he faced it around. "It's already getting a spike! How is that-" he followed the trail and ran into Wendy.

"Ah, yeah," Wendy sighed, "Sorry, may not be able to use that around me."

"Oh. Right," Dipper sheepishly tossed the device into the trunk of the car, "my bad."

"I can see the docks!" Mabel pointed.

"Then lets go meet some locals, who probably don't have much teeth left," Soos noted, and walked with Mabel. Dipper closed the door and followed after Wendy and the gang.

The docks they had come to were moldy and... entirely abandoned. There was a caved in shack to it's side, where it's old, broken glass covered the insides. No tools remained that could be used, for they too had succumbed to time and rot. To their eyes, they saw no one. However, a oar-less rowboat large enough for maybe six floated at the end, unattended.

"Did we beat the locals here?" Mabel asked, "talk about time management."

"Or laziness on their half," Dipper argued.

"What if they locals _are_ the boat," Soos asked. The three turned and looked at him. "Sorry, just throwin' ideas out there. You never know."

"It'd be more likely we ran into some crazy magical creature," Dipper admitted, "than a boat that can talk."

A voice floated over from the boat. "You know us too well, Dipper my friend."

Dipper, Wendy, and Soos stared at the boat, their mouths fallen open. Mabel however stepped closer. "I... know that voice. That beautiful voice. So silky! It can't be!" she gasped, and ran towards the boat.

"Watch for splinters!" Soos cried as the others followed.

True to Mabel's guess, there was someone behind the boat, in the water. Half a body emerged from the murky depths, and the other half an attractive humanoid form with gentle copper-toned skin.

"Mermando!" Mabel shouted, and dived into the boat, hugging the sopping wet half of a merman.

"Mabel!" the merman shouted back, hugging in kind.

As they separated, they all could see him. Grown was the boy merman from three years ago. He was taller in form, and much more muscular. His hair, still voluptuous and voluminous as ever, swayed behind his back to his rear, where the beginnings of a large fish tail started. His dark brown eyes peered at Mabel and his grin exposed the gap in his two front teeth.

"It's so great to see you again!" Mabel cried out, and nudged his wondrous jaw-line, "any luck on that 'legs' buisness?"

Mermando's smile faded and he stared a Mabel for a moment. "You're lucky you're cute. It's got a lot going for you."

"I know," Mabel admitted.

Dipper stepped closer, flanked by Soos and Wendy. "So, let me get this straight, Mermando, you're the local who's called for Zander's help?"

"I'm not the only one here," Mermando held his hand behind him.

On cue, a large swarm of Manatees and other Merfolk merged from the river water. Many of them ogled the land-dwellers, just as they were watched in awe.

"Wow dude, you're like some commanding force or something," Soos admitted.

"I am. I am Royalty now, after all," Mermando admitted with half smile.

"Oh," Mabel sat up straight, suddenly rigid. "That's right. You're with-"

A manatee emerged right next to Mermando, with pink clothing and all-too impressive crown. She spoke up, "The Queen of Manatees, Manatier."

"You're highness," Mabel bowed.

"What kind of name is Manatier?" Dipper quietly asked to Soos.

The Queen heard. "What kind of name is _Dipper_?! To be Dipped!" she snapped back.

"Hahaha," Soos chuckled with Mabel as Dipper blushed, "she got you there, dude"

"I didn't know you were the suffering locals," Mabel admitted, "this is horrible! We thought it was just dumb hicks in the woods."

"Well, no," Mermando shrugged, "It's just dumb hick merfolk in the coast who are suffering."

"Oh," Mabel nodded, "so not much difference."

"Please," Queen Manatier pleaded, nudging her head against the boat, "step inside. We shall explain on the way."

"Royal escort to a cursed island?" Soos noted as they stepped in, "this day couldn't get more exciting."

"Dude," Wendy scolded him.

"What? It's just a curse," he shrugged, "not like anything worse could come from-"

"Soos, I'm going to need you to stop talking for a bit," Wendy said, glaring at him.

Into the river the boat was slowly pushed away. Around them, the masses of merfolk and manatees watched them with interest and wonder.

"So, do all humans look like you?" a blond mermaid asked Dipper, leaning into the ship briefly.

"Ah, no?" Dipper replied shakily, aware of her intent stare.

"Wow, we must be so lucky then," she said, battering her eyelashes, "to have such handsome explorers come to our aid." Dipper chuckled nervously incapable of saying much else but small protests of his glory. She leaned closer, her big blue eyes scanning him. "Maybe you and I could go for a swim-" her eyes flickered to another member in the boat, and suddenly she sunk back into the water.

When Dipper, shocked at the sudden departure, turned to see the source of fear, he only saw Wendy gently whistling to herself, looking away.

Soos leaned in to Dipper. "It totally _wasn't_ her, dude," he insisted with a whisper.

"Soos I can hear you," Wendy growled.

"Sweet! Glad I got your back?" he smiled in earnest.

Wendy closed her eyes and stared at the coming blanket of fog. The four in the boat took notice how it did truly make a sort of wall. Rather than reaching out with natural rising vapor or low-hanging mist and cloud, the fog merely started at a certain point, and rose to consume the entirety of the larger river ahead.

"So what is happening?" Dipper asked as they passed through the fog. Then he heard the splashing behind him. Many of the merfolk who had been trailing around the boat, along with the manatees, stopped by the fogs edge. "Why aren't they coming?"

"This is the edge of the cursed waters," Mermando declared.

"Yes," Queen Manatier added, "the island known as 'Gracey' emanates a terrible dark power that has begun to spread throughout our waters. Many of our settlements by the reefs have had to flee for their lives."

"What from?" Mabel asked, eying the manatee carefully.

"We are not entirely sure," Mermando admitted. "Images like that of man kind, but not... whole."

"Whole?" Dipper repeated.

"They are incomplete," Mermando shuddered, "and frightening."

"Well, we're here to help!" Mabel cheered, "anything for you and your beautiful wife," she said with a genuine smile to Queen Manatier.

"Oh!" the Manatee spun in the water, and looked to Mabel. "Th-thank you, Mabel. I'll be honest, after how you two met and how my husband and I came to be, I would have thought there would be... upset feelings towards me."

Mabel sunk in her seat a little. "Mermando let me know as soon as it happened," Mabel said, her tone soft and her voice quiet. "I can't hold this against you, even something like an arranged marriage, "she added, looking to the Manatee. "Especially one as pretty as you."

"Mabel, you truly are a charmer," the Manatee smiled. "Mermando told me that you were a such a deliciously plump creature, but he failed to mention that you had such a way with your words."

Mermando cleared his throat. "We're approaching the island," he noted.

The mists around them finally parted, and with a steady gasp, the four inhabitants of the small boat stood and stared at the coming landmass. Gracey Island lay before them, a tall, forested hill among the river fog. The trees lay dead or dying, leaving little to the imagination. A trail by a horribly wilted and rotten dock led to a looming, distant shape. A house, or large estate loomed in the distance, cresting the hill proudly. Eerie sounds drifted outwards, of the faintest of creaking trees and crying of birds.

"Spooky," Soos noted.

"I can see why people assume 'cursed'," Dipper said quietly.

"The dock here," Mermando noted, "will be where we must part."

The boat floated over, still pushed by the merfolk and manatees brave enough to escort them. The moment it made contact with the soil nearby the dock, the four hopped out, their feet squelching loudly in the mud. Mabel turned, a thankful smile ready, but she gasped. "Hey!" she cried. The merfolk and manatees, excepting Mermando were fleeing. "Guys, wait! We need a ride out, ya know!"

"What gives?" Wendy demanded of the merfolk still present, "you guys were going to help us!"

"My kin are highly fearful of such things," Mermando cringed as he looked past them to the dark building in the distance. "They do not wish to linger."

"I get that. I'm kinda vibing that whole 'forbidden castle' sort of thing," Soos nodded. "It could be spookier, but hey, still scary."

"But you can't get us out if we need a quick evacuation, not at least alone," Mabel stated.

Mermando nodded sadly. "Indeed. While my strength is palpable, I do not have the strength to do so quickly. I will need my allies and wife to do so."

"Eh," Mabel rolled her eyes, "you're probably okay on your own. I think, at least."

"But if you're going," Dipper said, "how do we get off the island?"

Mermando swam closer. "My kin have a trick. It is a sort of sending method, that we have developed over many generations."

"Ohh, echolocation?" Soos gasped.

Mermando shook his head. "No, it's called magic."

"Oh!" Dipper gasped. Mabel frowned and grumbled, standing up fully.

"The spell, 'Sending', as it is called," Mermando explained, "requires you to focus on a person's face you know. You need to feel a connection with them- something that drives you two to act and be friends willingly. Then, once you find that connection, you may send them a brief message by first saying ''Auxilium Animus attentus'. If they wish to aid you, they will hear your message," Mermando explained.

"That's amazing!" Dipper said, pulling out his journal. "It's not one I know of in my books. I'll write that-"

"Well, Mermando," Mabel said, rubbing her hands together, "thanks for the advice, but we have these nifty little techno-devices called cell-phones. They do the same thing, but better," Mabel grinned, lifting her own that was gifted from Dipper.

"Ah yes, I have one too," Mermando said, and lifted a water-cell phone.

"Where were you holding that phone all this time?" Wendy asked, an eyebrow raised. "You 're not wearing anything with pockets, so how did you-"

"Well then, should you need me," Mermando suddenly blurted out, swimming away quickly," contact me!" and he dived in the water.

The four stood together, at the edge of the water on a supposedly cursed land. With one movement, they all turned in unison, peering away from the water to their next destination: the building. Dipper sighed, and adjusted his cap. "Well," he sighed, "if there's a place for a curse to reside, it'd be in a creepy building."

"Dang straight," Soos sniffed. "Throw down of the curse-busters!" he declared, crossing his arms dramatically.

"Welp," Mabel cracked her neck in a brief stretch, "if we're going to do this, let's do this before it gets dark."

"Mabel," Dipper laughed, "it's probably, what, just after noon? Curses aren't ghosts or anything like that. We just need to find the cause, and remove it, and we leave. No problems." Wendy instinctively reached over and wrapped her knuckles against a dead looking tree. "Thank you," Dipper remarked. "Now, let's do this."

The four, walking in unison, approached the building.

"Hold on, let's get a selfie of this," Soos said, and lifted his phone while walking. Angling the camera to face them all, Soos waved, Wendy grinned, Dipper rolled his eyes, and Mabel stretched her mouth open with her fingers as they walked up the hill.

Putting away the phone after three rapidly taken pictures, the Soos and the three with him walked up the hill. To their dismay, the approach only brought more ominous sights. The land surrounding the manor was covered with gravestones. A mausoleum to their distant left stood proudly against the backdrop of dead trees.

Yet ahead was the prize: the Mansion. A grand design of plantation days, the mansion was easily sculpted to suit the hill it rested on. A large, entirely circling stone porch awaited them, nearby a marble, but worn, set of stairs. The building itself was entirely dilapidated. Broken windows and fallen doors awaited them. However, despite the external appearance of total wear, the actual structure still seemed... intact.

"Still upright, after a hundred and fifty years," Dipper noted. "Not a good sign."

"Here," Wendy waved over, spotting the large front doors.

Two carved, once intricate doors lay before them. One still upright and locked in it's hinges, the other on the ground and rotten, their way was revealed. The interior, both fortunately and frighteningly, was a nearly pitch black foyer. As they stepped inside, smelling the air of mildew and fetid wood and fabrics, their eyes adjusted. Formerly grand and luxurious paints had peeled, peppering the floor with curled strips of gold and red. Tattered remains of curtains still hung up, or rested on the ground. The carpet on the tiled stone floor around them was more of a patch of patterned soil. Aside from two curving staircases that lead to a balcony floor, a trio of hallways were open to them.

"Okay," Dipper sighed, "we're now invasive. If this curse is self-aware, we're going to be seeing activity soon."

"Unless it's a friendly curse," Soos shrugged.

"Sorry, a what?" Dipper whipped to him.

"You know, like a curse of never-ending Pizza? Or soda?" Soos shrugged. "I think there was a TV show about a Friendly curse which everybody called Cas-"

"Let's look this way," Dipper suggested, clicking up his phone and using the screen as a flashlight as he walked directly forward to the front hallway. Soos and Mabel followed suit, leaving Wendy to peer around faultlessly.

"You can see everything fine?" Mabel asked, shocked with Wendy's peering eyes.

"Eh, another perk of being what I am, I guess," Wendy quickly explained.

"Here," Dipper said, turning to an open door. Stepping inside with the others, they found themselves in an ancient, cob-web ridden library.

"Aww, reading!?" Mabel cried out, "we're here to battle stuff, not to read!"

"We could skip the battle if we know how to beat if before the fight," Dipper countered, and walked towards a long table. The rest of the room was walls of tall bookshelves, all lined with various, colorful books. Many of the tomes and old scriptures had fallen into piles of moldy paper. Yet, pushing away some of the wet, grungy material, several remaining and legible texts. "Maybe if we could find journals that talked about the past here: like a master's manuscript or something..."

"Ohh! You think they have an eighteenth century comic book?!" Soos asked, and ran towards the bookshelves.

Mabel groaned. "Look, Dipper," Mabel said, "I'm going to look upstairs for a room that is clearly dripping with evil or something. You know, bleeding animal heads or something," she shrugged, "so, shout if something spooky happens.

"Mabel, don't go alone," Dipper said, "just wait here until-"

"That's okay," Mabel interrupted, "Wendy can come."

"What?" Dipper _and_ Wendy asked.

"Well, yeah," Mabel grinned sheepishly at the redhead. "Let's go for a walk?" she suggested. "You never were the type to sit down and read through a billion books," Mabel added.

Wendy nodded her head from side to side. "Yeaaah, you got me there," she admitted. Glancing to Soos, busy thrown down books from the shelves, and Dipper, who watched the two ladies apprehensively, "yeah, I'll keep an eye on Mabel. After all Dipper," she said with intent, "you're more than prepared for... stuff," she said.

"O-Okay," Dipper nodded, "if a Zombie attacks, you scream too."

"Back at'cha, bro-bro," Mabel winked. She then grabbed Wendy and pulled her out, nearly tossing the red-head to the ground as she darted out of the room.

"Dude," Wendy said, brushing herself free of Mabel as they turned to the left, heading back to the Foyer. "What is it?"

"Wendy, I wanted to talk to you about Dipper," Mabel admitted, leading the walk away from the library.

"Maybe this is something he should hear?" Wendy suggested.

"Yeah, once I know it's more than just sister-gut instincts," Mabel worried, clutching her phone as it emitted light unflinchingly.

"Uh-huh," Wendy slowly said.

"I know we don't always see eye-to-eye, Dippersauce and I," Mabel started.

"Like, for example, your nicknames for him," Wendy pointed out as Mabel turned towards a staircase.

"Exactly!" Mabel nodded, turning the lights towards the rotting carpets on the stone stairs, "we kind of differ to each other on them."

"This isn't about nicknames though."

"No," Mabel sighed, "It's about... well... magic."

"Oh."

Mabel found herself at the top, and again found three hallways, in nearly the exact same spots as the ones below. She immediately, like her brother, chose the middle one and stepped forward. "It's just," she continued, "I'm afraid he's sort of becoming tempted."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Mabel nodded, glancing back at her friend, still marching ahead, "he keeps bringing it up. He brought it up at Gideon's trial like a joke, and I laughed! But yesterday, he was really trying to convince me to use it to help Waddles."

"And you didn't?" Wendy asked, coming to walk next to Mabel.

"Well," Mabel grimaced, "no."

"Really?!" Wendy gasped.

"Yes!" Mabel barked. "Magic is bad!"

"I mean," Wendy looked around at the many closed doors they passed, "you'll get no argument from me. Not a fan of magic myself, to be honest."

"But Dipper is," Mabel said. "He doesn't see that it always has consequences that are really... bad," she explained as she chose to turn down another hallway, to the right. "Like with Gideon being crazy and becoming power-obsessed. Or Stanford finding Bill and becoming his slave, or... or you," she added quietly.

"Mabel," Wendy said, her tone suddenly very level," he is very aware."

"I-I know," Mabel nodded, "Sorry."

"Always trying to break this... curse..." Wendy and Mabel came to a stop.

The door ahead of them, at the end of the hallway, was in perfect condition, with one exception. A hatchet was buried into the center of the wooden panel.

"Okay. We can continue this chat another time?" Wendy asked Mabel, staring ahead.

"Agree, warrior queen Corduroy," Mabel sighed as she stared ahead. "Shall we?" she asked, looking to her.

"I ain't afraid of no ghosts," Wendy said, yet glanced ahead, "but curses..."

"We got this," Mabel gave a warm chuckle, and moved to the doorknob.

Sliding the wounded door open, the two found themselves looking into a cluttered, cob-web covered bedroom. Directly before them was a collection of... gifts.

"Aww, maybe it's a Christmas or Hanukkah curse," Mabel suggested, "look at all these presents!"

"Yeah," Wendy slowly said, stepping in with her, "I don't know what, but..."

Mabel stepped further in, the awe at looking at so may old-fashioned, and well preserved, gifts. Many of the gifts were topped with a picture- of a man and woman sitting and standing next to one another. As Mabel looked from one to another, she realized one thing- the woman in each picture was the same, yet the man changed. She hummed to herself, lifting one of the pictures up and looking at it.

"Forever together, Peter and Constance," she remarked as Wendy stepped by.

"They're all... wedding gifts," Wendy realized.

"Wow," Mabel whistled, "I thought I was love crazy."

"Yeah. Can we go now?" Wendy asked.

"I guess- OH WOW," Mabel gasped, and skipped past the red-head.

In a corner, still in it's mannequin, was a perfect, beautiful, preserved wedding dress. Pinned still to the fabric-based doll, the piece of clothing was adorned with pearls and other small stones of white. Mabel slowly stopped, the light of her phone staring reflecting from it into her eyes. A single necklace was tucked beneath the dress.

"It's so... pretty," she cooed.

"Mabel, let's go," Wendy pleaded.

"Huh?" Mabel gasped and turned to her, "why?"

Clang!

The two ladies jumped. Wendy spun around and Mabel looked past her to the source of the noise.

The axe from the door was now imbedded into the floor.

"Huh," Mabel nodded matter-of-factly. "And I think we've found our target," she said.

"Yeah, I hate this room," Wendy shuddered, "I'm getting all my undead-sensors fried inside this room. Like," she made a plethora of 'splooshes' and 'kaboosh' noises as her hands mimicked explosions around her temples.

"Let's get the boys," Mabel murmured, and the two hurried out of the room.

Down below, Dipper poured over a large charter book.

"Soos, keep it down," Dipper asked, "I think I found some information."

"Nice," Soos said off-handedly as he threw yet another book from the shelves to the floor, "lemme know if you come across a comic book or manga book, okay?"

"Manga?!" Dipper turned, laughing, "Soos, when did Manga even come out?"

"Oh, probably like a thousand years ago," Soos said, turning to him and placing his hand under his thin in thought. "After all, the Japanese culture is one of great tradition. Like, at least everything has been made in Japan a thousand years ago."

Dipper turned away, shaking his head. Raading the contents of the book, he spoke aloud. "It's a collection of receites by the last master of this house, Edward Gracey," Dipper said, "apparently, his family used to make ships and own customs buildings. By the looks," Dipper sighed as he flipped through pages and pages of marked bills, "they made a killing."

"Hehehe," Soos chuckled, "Killings. And they're all dead now."

"Shush," Dipper chuckled, "but aside from that, I got nothing. No talk of curses, or family troubles, or trouble with other families, local witches... nothing," Dipper sighed, and leaned back from the book, stretching his back. Easing out, Dipper heard footsteps calmly walk in from the hallway behind him. "Hey, Mabel, Wendy, toss me one of the books Soos threw. Maybe it'll help- like a journal or something," he said, examining the very back of the book."

Shocked at the result, a faded pink journal with a pink metal heart was slid before him from the side. He lifted it up, gasping. A keyhole was in the heart itself, locking the pages closed. Yet he saw a name written onto it's front.

"Constance Hatchetaway?" Dipper asked.

"What dude?" Soos asked from a distance.

"Nothing, but I think Mabel found-"

Dipper turned and found that he and Soos were the only ones in the room.

Instantly, Dipper went for the water gun in his vest. Out and ready, he looked around. He saw stone busts on the shelves of the bookcase. There were still pictures in the room, all entirely un-animated.

"Soos, come here," Dipper quietly asked.

"What dude?" Soos said, turning away, holding a small book, "I think I found one! It's called, 'What Ho! A tale of most excellent and ridiculous taste'," Soos read aloud. "Kinda seems comic-booky."

"Soos!" Dipper hissed, "come here!"

Soos gulped and rushed closer. "What?" he asked.

"I don't know," Dipper said, his breath short and shallow, "but I think the curse is beginning to warm up."

"Like... it's stretching?" Soos asked, looking around.

"Maybe?" Dipper shrugged. Soos reached down, and lifted the heaviest book he could- a step-by-step process to making a cat a gentlemen. The two shook and trembled as they heard movement from the hallway, and they saw coming light.

"Who-who is it?" Dipper quietly asked.

Then, with a rush of sound, Mabel leapt out. "BOO!" she roared.

"HIYAA!" Soos yelled, throwing the book at Mabel as Dipper let out a high-pitched shriek.

Mabel caught the book and opened it instinctively. "Aww, these cats are such proper fellows," she cooed happily, flipping through pages of pictures. Wendy stepped next to her, looking inside.

"You guys look like you've seen a ghost," Wendy worriedly said, "one that isn't me."

"I may have," Dipper trembled, and reached behind him to the journal. The three surrounded him as he held it out. Mabel gently laid her book behind her, and bathed the journal in light. Dipper explained, "this thing just fell into my lap."

"Wow, and you weren't even sitting," Soos marveled.

"Not literally," Dipper grumbled.

"Like it just faded into existence next to you?" Mabel asked. "Sounds radical."

"More like slid next to me," Dipper gulped, "I thought one of you two had found it, and handed it to me... weird."

"You know what's weirder though?" Mabel replied, "a bedroom filled with Wendy presents." Dipper stared at her. Mabel then gasped. "Oh- Follow up! That's related because it's what Wendy and I found upstairs. A creepy room with tons of presents and stuff. Really strange and spook-tastic."

"I hated it in there," Wendy shuddered.

"Well, might as well give it a look," Dipper sighed, and lifted his pack up.

A voice behind them kindly asked in a proper gentlemen's tone, "if you young sirs and ladies won't mind, I must attend the library."

Dipper glanced over his shoulder with the rest of them, looking to the butler. "Sorry, we'll be going in a second," Dipper then turned back with Mabel and Soos, who helped him collect his things normally. Wendy, however, remained frozen in place, staring at the man. Dipper nudged her. "C'mon, he quietly said, "it's rude to st-st-st-st-"

His words failed him. He, Mabel, and Soos, one at a time, realized that Wendy's reaction was the proper one. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes wide, and face pale (even more than usual), she stared at the newcomer.

A man with a balding head, dark skin, and wearing entirely pleasant and up-kept butlers suit, a man stood before them, wearing two white gloves. In one arm, he had wrapped a small towel. He stared briefly to each of them, giving Dipper's new journal a quick glance.

Clearing his throat before the four, he then said, "Now, if you all don't mind, I'd very much appreciate having the Library to myself. It must be cleaned before the guests arrive for the ball tonight. Just outside, all of you. Besides, you wouldn't want to be in this room in this state," he chuckled, "absolutely filthy."

* * *

So, yeah. I warned you guys It was exactly what it sounded like.

This episode and the next will be part of a small over-arch that marks the end of the unofficial season 4, if you count a season as ten episodes. If you don't, and keep track to the total, overarching story, this is only the beginning of the end of the first of three acts for season three. So, what I'm trying to say is that this will be part one of four, basically.

It's confusing, I know. Sorry. :p

HELLO MERMANDO! I knew I would be bringing him back into the story at some point! And trust me, we'll see him a bit more before this small arch is over. Him and his little wife are something I had always wanted to get to, and now... Ahh man. Been waiting for it.

Can you See it, my friends? The ties coming together? Can you feel the tension building? I can't tell you how excited I am for part two of the Haunted Mansion. Aside from having the attempt at writing a better story than the one for the 2003 movie with Eddie Murphy, being able to write easily one of my favorite rides in all of the Disney Franchise has been a blast. I can't tell you how many hours of research I had to do to get things as close as they are canonically correct. Which, sadly, isn't saying much- there is a very fragmented story to the rides, but it changes over time and it's mostly speculation. Still, tying that to the good things the 2003 movie did and the best of the ride, I intend this to be a section of the story everyone wants to see.

And before people begin chanting 'cross-over', it's all Disney owned, anyway. It's not as cool as some other hinted cross-overs I've done previously... *WINK*

But anyhoo, I'm off for now. Apologies to those I could not get back to for reviews, because I am lazy and stupid, and there are SO MANY OF YOU. I still love you all so much anyway, so don't be mad or-

(A tombstone is thrown at EZB, which he attempts to catch. The sheer weight slams into him, and he falls back and is crushed with a loud 'SPLAT' on the ground. Jerk kind of deserves it for not getting back to the lovely readers. God they're just so attractive. ':D )


	83. The Haunted Mansion: Part 2

To say that the four had become speechless was an understatement. It had been seemingly forever since the butler had stepped into the room, his polished, hard soled shoes clattering loudly against the wooden floor. With a duster in one hand and a towel in the other, he had, regardless of their stares, begun to dust and clean the entirety of the room. Books were dusted, and the wood of the shelves were wiped down. While the cleaning itself was meager, it was the result that terrified the watchers.

The books, even rotten ones, when dusted, slowly grew to become whole again. The rotted pages of the tomes and journals filling up and become perky as standard paper should. The bent and broken shelves of the library slowly creaked and bent themselves straight. Color flushed into the dead wood, and polish flashed across the touched surfaces.

"Okay, either this is the curse causing us to hallucinate," Dipper gulped, "or we've got something a bit more complicated going on," he admitted with a hush.

"Like what?" Wendy asked.

"A haunting," Mabel said, her eyes wide. "And we just did deal with mister ghosty-Knight."

"It's even more complicated than that," Dipper admitted, and slowly turned from the Butler. The dark skinned, bald man in a classy suit paid them no mind as he went about the room, rejuvenating the surfaces and objects that resided around. He bent closer to the four, and quietly asked Wendy, "Wendy, can you tell if it's a ghost or not?"

"Ohhh yeah," she stiffly nodded, "an apparition alright."

"You've never explained how you do that, you know?" Mabel stared at her.

"Mysterious red-head vision," Soos stared at her as he said it.

Wendy snickered. "I can just tell certain things. When I look at something and I know it should be a certain way, I can tell if it isn't. Being undead like me makes it really hard to… be lied to. I pick up on differences."

"And what's different about him?" Dipper asked.

"Aside from the fact that clearly this place is abandoned?" Wendy retorted with a wink, "well, he's not breathing and I haven't heard him blink since he came in. Aside from that, I can kind of see ghost-trails wherever he goes," she noted, turning back to stare at him for a quick moment.

"Well, if he's a ghost," Dipper retrieved the journal, "this actually makes our problem kind of easier."

"Yeah! 'Cus Wendy aint afraid of them," Soos noted.

"Helpful, but not my point," Dipper shrugged.

"I await to be proven otherwise," Soos squinted at Dipper.

Dipper flipped open journal three to a page. There, a multi-page spread on the spectral undead were displayed before them. Dipper moved his finger to a certain section and begun to read aloud. "Ahem, 'Ghosts are the deceased that continue past their death in spectral form. They nearly always have a reason for remaining, and this makes dealing with them a mixed blessing. Ghosts come in many types and powers, from the measly level one, or just the residual energy of a person who has yet to be exorcised, to the poltergeist, a level 6 terror, or the unthinkable rage and emotional baggage of a level 10.' Sounds about right," Dipper grunted, his mind reflecting upon their interactions with level 10 ghosts.

"So what's the level of that ghost?" Soos asked, pointing to the Butler, who had moved over a ladder to reach the small, oil-lit chandelier in the center of the room.

"Uh, with only Wendy's word that he's a ghost," Dipper shrugged, "I have no idea. You tend to be able to tell with a ghost's power when you see their abilities first-hand."

"Do we just ask him politely to display his ghostly powers?" Mabel asked, "I could be super cool about it."

"No," Dipper whipped to her and shook his head. "Ghosts often don't even know their dead. Look at the poltergeist this summer," Dipper argued.

"He was a tulpa-ghost though," Mabel debated, "does that count?"

Dipper sighed. "Well, technically speaking, as a manifestation of wishing-energy, a tulpa counts as both, while being neither. It's because of the unique nature of-"

"Pseudo-science lesson later, please," Wendy cut in.

"Sorry," Dipper said, "ghosts don't tend to always know. But if someone frightens them by telling them that they are dead, they can lash out with all their energies at once. It could be catastrophic."

"Aww, but I bet I could dodge a wave of ghost-power," Mabel sniffled.

Wendy held up her hand, "hold up, I got this," she nodded. She then turned, and walked towards the butler on the stairs.

"Wait! Wendy!" Dipper hissed.

"Oh boy, this is either going to be the scariest, best, or worst thing we'll see all day so far," Soos said, shivering as he watched. "Get behind me," he said to the twins, dragging them behind him, "just in case of 'ghost explosion'."

Wendy approached the dusting figure, and gently wrapped the side of the ladder. With a casual lean, the butler looked down and at her. She smiled and nodded. "Hey man," she waved, "look, from one undead to another, you know you're a ghost, right?"

"Quite so," he nodded, and then went back to cleaning.

"Thanks," she gave him a quick thumbs up, and walked back to her friends. "See?" she asked to the shocked and widely dropped mouths before her, "just gotta be cool about it."

"I could have pulled that off," Mabel pouted.

"Great, so he's a ghost," Dipper sighed, "that means the case of a curse is actually probably a severe case of haunting. Curses can, after all, be mistaken for-"

The man came down the ladder slowly, but cleared his throat as he did. "I do believe I asked for a brief period of solitude. I would like to work on this room's cleaning without interruption?" he asked, his greying eyebrows raised.

"Oh, err," Dipper nodded, "sorry."

"We'll take this outside, man," Wendy waved to him, pushing out Dipper with Soos and Mabel.

"Thank you, and again, apologies," he candidly said as he continued to move about, re-placing books on shelves and dusting them.

As Wendy closed the door behind them, Mabel was knocked into by another induvial. She yelped as Dipper and Soos jumped aside, looking to her. A maid of light tan skin stumbled by her. "So sorry, madam," the woman stated, her green and silver skirt a ruffle, "big pardon."

"No problem! Apology twice accepted!" Mabel cheerfully waved after the woman, who bowed and nodded back at her. "Aww, so sweet-" Dipper and Soos bounded back next to Mabel, looking down the hallways. Mabel coughed, "ack! Bro, your hat is in my nose. What's going-"

She then looked around and realized that the hallways were very inhabited.

Dozens of maids, male and female, darted to and fro around the hallway. Out of doors and around the corners, nearly a dozen figures in old, green and silver striped outfits stepped around them.

"Wendy?" Dipper slowly leaned back.

"These are spookums?" Soos gulped as he asked.

"Ohh yeah," Wendy whispered as she nodded, "every… single… one of them."

"It's a Spectral Jamboree!" Mabel declared with excitement.

Dipper grumbled. He observed their efforts and found himself nearly hypnotized. Just as the Butler in the library, the efforts of the maids and attendants were to repair and refurnish. The warn paint on the walls, when washed with their washcloths, would re-appear, bright and vibrant as the day they were painted. The splintered, rotting wood of the walls would grow brighter and vibrant. The fallen, rotting sheets of curtain would float back up and slide themselves onto their metal holsters.

"So, do this many ghosts usually come together?" Soos asked, "or is this sort of like a retiree home for spooks?"

"Soos, ghosts don't retire," Mabel chuckled.

"Or you haven't met one that has yet," Soos rebuked. Mabel opened her mouth, but remained silent.

"Ghosts don't tend to 'flock' together," Dipper said, looking down the hallway, ensuring that none of the maids were listening in, "ghosts that are nearby tend to be so because of one of two reasons- either they died closer together, or what brings them together is nearby."

"Right, the 'ghosts have reasons for what they do' sort of thing," Wendy nodded.

"Exactly," Dipper said. "The thing is, if there are this many ghosts already, we're kind of un-prepared."

"But we have the cooking stuff," Soos said, lifting up the salt shaker and bundle of sage.

"That would only really help if the ghosts wanted to be calmed down," Dipper noted, "that stuff is better for clearing out bad ju-ju, like, say, a curse."

"So this doesn't really work against these guys?" Wendy grimaced.

"Let me ask you, would it work against you?" Dipper asked. Wendy looked at him, and then reached inside his vest with a blur. Aside from a flash of hot as Dipper felt his face grow warm, he gasped. "H-Hey!" he clamored. Wendy then retrieved his water gun, and sprayed her face.

"Hehehe," Mabel leaned into Dipper and whispered, "bet you wish you could see Wendy wet more often-" Wendy, glaring at Mabel, squirted her face with the watergun, "Ack! Drats!" Mabel snapped her fingers, "super hearing!"

"Yup," Wendy smirked at Mabel, and then handed Dipper back the toy, "no harm. So, I guess we're not equipped for this."

"Well, unless we want to use this bottle to declare war against every single one of these ghosts at the same time, which then we'd run out of water," Dipper sighed, "we need to go back and get more supplies."

"Wait, we need to fight these guys?" Mabel asked, "but I thought if we just give them what they want, they go away?"

"Imagine giving every single ghost here their individual want," Dipper retorted. "We'd be here so long we'd become the newest additions to the mansion."

"Not that it's an option for me," Wendy sniffed.

"So, we go back to the cars, get some Dooditos, get some anti-ghost stuff," Soos re-iterated, "maybe take a power-nap, and then come and show these ghosts who the real bosses are?"

"Of the four things, at least two are happening," Dipper nodded. "Let's go."

Stepping past the present maids, who made sure to move aside for the four, they made their way down the hall. Dipper in front, he saw the miraculous and incredible changes to the Mansion. It was now almost entirely restored. What few things needed to change were minor- crooked paintings, spilled flower vases, and chairs pulled out in the open- all of which were being restored to their proper location.

In the Foyer, a large picture hung above the door, one they had not seen before. Either it had rotten so terribly with the passing of time or its position above the front doors had been cast in shadow, but the new light of the indoor lamps cast it into focus. Standing below it, while marveling its image, was a man. He turned to them, and the four gasped and slid to a stop.

"Guests? So early?" he asked, a warm smile about his face. "Welcome," he nodded to them approaching. He wore a tailed jacket of gold, silver, and green splendor. His black hair fell with small curls along the sides of his head, and his gentle blue eyes surveyed the four. While youthful in appearance, his walk and gait, along with the careful stare, betrayed a man of great experience or age. "I am Edward Gracey. I'm so sorry to say you've come a tad too early for the festivities. Clearly we are, uh, still getting ready," he said with a look behind them.

"What was your name?" Dipper asked, his eyes wide.

"Edward. Edward Gracey," he bowed before them.

Mable giggled and bowed as well. "A pleasure, master Gracey."

"Please. I am your host this evening," Edward smiled to her, "just Edward, please." Mabel giggled even harder.

"So, Ed," Soos said, bowing to him briefly, "uh, you're aware that, like, ghosts and stuff are everywhere on your island, right?" Wendy nudged his back hard. "Huh?" he looked to Wendy. Dipper heard them lean in together.

"He's one too," Wendy whispered.

"…Ohh," Soos nodded, looking back to a confused looking man. "Nevermind everything I just said. I meant to _not_ say that. To you. Ever."

"Ah, of course," the man looked from one to another. "I must say, I wasn't aware that your parents would have let you come unattended so early," he said, looking to Mabel and Dipper, "and in such attire."

"Our mom's really liberal about stuff like clothes and things," Mabel shrugged, and she held up her two fingers in a pinch, "I was this close to convincing her to own an alpaca farm."

"Sir," Dipper stepped closer, "we were actually just about to leave. We're, uh, unprepared and underdressed for your occasion."

"Oh, goodness, please," Edward Gracey held his chest, "I meant no offense. This evening is not about formalities!"

"It isn't?" Dipper asked.

"No, such a thing has come and passed. This is a truly celebratory night!" Gracey cried around, his voice echoing about in the Foyer. "Good times are now upon us. Any and all that are my families friends are welcome to come, however they dress, whenever they wish!" he said to Dipper.

The teenager stared at him. While, for modern times, Dipper knew that what Gracey was saying was more or less acceptable, to hear that coming from a ghost of a by-gone age was something shocking. No one, even the least conservative man of his time would look at someone who he deemed with 'ill-suited attire' in a party, but allow them to stay. It was weird, and it was weird considering he was talking to a ghost.

"You're certainly open about it," Dipper noted.

"Ah, well, when dark times have fallen upon my family," Gracey looked past them and to the balcony. Dipper turned, along with Wendy, who glanced over her shoulder.

A woman stood on the balcony, her hands resting on the railing as she looked down to them. A blond girl with large blue eyes and a body that could kill, even through her older floral dress. Her curvy, almost athletic body, swayed from side to side as she stared down at them, and Dipper and Wendy looked back up at her.

Dipper noted Wendy whip around and away from the woman, her eyes wide and her lips drawn thin. As he went to ask her what was wrong, Edward Gracey spoke up.

"No, I enjoy having my guests over, but I get the impression, as it seems you've been directed back to the Foyer," he stated with a small grin, "you do not know your way around my home."

"Why, no!" Mabel gasped, "we're totally new to your wonderful mansion!"

"And to the area. Heck, this side of the country," Soos elaborated. "And time zone. Still getting used to that," and he gave a large yawn as his belly puffed out.

"Well then, why don't I give you a tour!" he exclaimed excitedly, "most whom I know are attending are intimate with the estate, and I would to have the wonder of my home reflected in your eyes."

"Uhh," Dipper looked to Mabel, pulling her to look back at him. Yet he spoke aloud and clearly to the ghostly owner of the land, he looked to his sister. "I don't know, sir. We were kind of in a hurry to grab our stuff."

"Dipper," Mabel wrenched herself free, "don't be rude!"

"'I'm with Dipper on this one," Wendy blurted out.

"Please," Edward stepped closer, and outstretched a hand, "I insist. I would love to show you around."

Mabel looked to the others. Her stern glare was met by three uncertain ones. To say that their suspicions were unfounded wasn't true, but thus far, any actual negativity the ghosts had displayed had been minimal. Truthfully, though Dipper never spoke this aloud, the ghosts had been only constructive. They spent their time re-building the mansion and avoiding the new four rather than instigating any terrible hauntings.

With a heavy sigh, Dipper nodded. "Take us for a walk, Mister Edward."

He beamed, flashing his stark white grin. "Please, let me show you to the library." He walked around them becoming them to follow.

"We were actually just-" Soos started, but Dipper elbow him, "ah, what dude?" Soos blinked, rubbing his bellow said they followed, "what'd I say?"

"Look, if we're really going to go on this tour, we should let him guide us around. There's a chance he'll give us some insight about what we're dealing with," Dipper said.

"Also, he has great style," Mabel chirped. "Got to love a guy who can dress like that."

"He looks like pirate," Soos noted. When Mabel gave him a critical stare, he added, "and that's a good thing."

Following carefully, watching the staff of the mansion continue to re-build the mansion around them, the four listened as Edward Gracey explained his home.

"Built in early 1839, this house was the jewel of my family's wealth and good fortune," Edward explained, stepping backward as he lead them down his hallway, "our relations with England's families after the war of 1812 allowed us to capitalize much more so on trade. Since then, I have come to inherit this home, as will my daughter and her spouse."

"You have a wife?" Mabel asked, her brow creasing.

"Had," he said softly, and turned toward a door, pushing it open. The library inside revealed the Butler and his work. As Edward Gracey stepped inside, the Butler bowed. "Ah, Ramsey," he nodded, "don't mind our guests, they're having a look around."

"As they should," the Butler said, looking directly at Dipper. The gaze was so intense, Dipper felt his neck stiffen, and he gulped. "Such a place of history, some things you must look harder for."

The master laughed. "Your words are a puzzle, dear friend," Gracey chuckled.

"Aren't we all," the Butler retorted.

"Now, this library," Edward waved his hand above him, "the prime collection of literary works. A large collection of fantastic and terrible tales."

"Terrible?" Wendy asked.

"My wife's collection, mostly," he sighed, "she had a fascination with ghost stories."

Soos snorted, and clapped his hands to his mouth. "Sorry," he shook his head, "it's totally not ironic."

"Ah, right," Edward Gracey looked around, and noted that one of the shelves closest to him. "Blast. Ramsey," he said, turning to the Butler who continued to stare at Dipper, "we're missing one. See if you can't find it before the guests notice."

"I will most certainly try," the Butler said, glaring at Dipper. Dipper took a wide step behind Soos in response.

"But I am certain that your interest aren't in books," the Master of the estate idly chose a book, and laughed as he rifled through the pages, "or my boorish journal entries."

Dipper shrugged. "Well…"

Wendy lifted a finger. "Ahh…"

Mabel leapt up. "More! More! Let's see more!"

Soos leaned closer. "There's going to be food at some point, yeah?"

Edward Gracey smiled. "Naturally, food will accompany the festivities."

"YESH," Soos thrust his fist up and gave his arm a quick pump. "Let's do this!"

"Now, this way," Gracey asked. Passing through the room's interior to the door, the master of the estate opened the double doors to the main hallway. "To the Ballroom, where the night's more prominent events will be held."

Down the hallway silently the group walked. Taking a right turn and moving at a brisk, even pace, Master Gracey smiled and patted the shoulders of many of his servants, crediting them for their work on his home. Dipper lagged back slightly, staring at the clear cases of magic happening around him. Flowers growing before his eyes rapidly out of vases brought new splashes of white and pink into the hallways. Dipper glanced out as they passed the windows. More of the workers had begun to appear outdoors, making their numbers… a whole lot.

"There's a whole lot of them," Dipper gulped quietly.

"As long as we don't upset them, this should be okay," Wendy reminded him, "no starting fights."

"I don't intend to," Dipper stated. "We're treading on ice, standing above fireworks, with a pit of acid-snakes under _that_."

"So all sorts of screwed if worst comes to worst?" She asked.

"I think so," Dipper gulped.

"I'm worried though," Wendy said, looking around.

"Why?" Dipper aside. "Aside from doom on our threshold."

"It's… I thought I'd be able to tell when a ghost is able to appear. I could sense the poltergeist this summer fairly well. These ones… I don't know," Wendy said, "It's like I can't tell where they are until they're in front of me. Like… that stupid cool senses thing I have doesn't pick up on them for some reason."

"Maybe it's seniority?" Dipper suggested. "Older undead have stronger senses or something?"

"That'd be stupid," Wendy snorted.

"I dunno," Dipper grew a frown, "that seems to happen a lot when it comes to 'magical things'. Like if it's older it automatically is cooler or something."

"Hardly," Wendy smirked, "I mean, comparing you and Stan? I think you won the 'who is cooler'."

"Heh," Dipper gave a short laugh, and turned away, watching the three ahead of him walk.

Dipper could only wonder if Grunkle Stan had become a ghost of some sort. Maybe a phantom, wandering in the woods by what used to be the Gravity Falls Mystery Manor. Stuck… thinking he was still alive. The rest of the tour was a blur to Dipper.

However, it was a learning experience to Mabel and Soos. With Wendy asking the questions that Dipper usually would, the four tailed right after Master Gracey in his elaborate home. At the end of the hallway, two maids pushed open large double doors that lead into a magnificent ballroom. Three huge chandeliers hung above, flooding golden light into the room. Above the doors were overlooks from the floor above, letting others watch from above.

Mabel's eyes went wide as he let them look around. "I could run in circles in here for days and not get bored! There's details in the detail's details!" She said, running to a column against the wall.

Dipper frowned, uncertain Mabel's antics were safe. Although Gracey seemed pleasant and all too happy to guide them, Dipper felt a cold shiver run up his neck.

He turned and looked above him.

There she was again, watching from afar. This time she leaned on the railing, looking down at Mabel with a smile on her face.

"I don't like it," Wendy murmured, stepping closer.

"Got bad vibes?" Dipper barely moved his mouth as he asked her.

Wendy stepped behind him, acting as if she was examining an organ that Dipper had decided to stand nearby. "Let's just say that I can tell without a doubt that everyone here is undead. Even her. Except when I look at her, my senses don't do their little radar warning."

"Wait," Dipper flashed his eyes towards the girl, and noticed she was gone. "What?" he gasped. "Could she be alive?"

"No way man," Wendy whispered. "She's dead, alright. But… whatever I can do to detect what something is or is doing… I can't get a read on her."

The news of the mysterious girl only brought more worry to Dipper. They eventually moved from the ballroom, where Soos potted the beginnings of a table of still empty plates. Whining like a saddened puppy, he was pulled out of the room with promises they could probably grab a bite to eat if Dipper ordained it to be safe at all to digest. From that hall to another, Gracey took them to a music room, and to the stairwells that lead to the basement.

"I must admit, the basement is not permitted to guests," he worriedly said, eying the downstairs, "the state of such levels should not be accessed. Dark things are left to rest below."

"Like, uh, cursed-" Soos began, but Mabel and Dipper elbowed him. "Ow! Uh- I mean- course! Like, of course dude!"

As Gracey smiled and turned, leading them away, Mabel and Dipper glanced down. The straight edged staircases lead downwards and upwards, but the absence of lights in the basement brought an unease fret to their hearts. It was creepy to be in a mansion, flooded with ghosts, and yet they had a place to stay away from.

"So," Dipper leaned to her, "a place to definitely check out after we get enough supplies."

"I bet you that's where the bad stuff that's keeping ghosts around is," Mabel whispered before darting after their lead.

Their host seemed to not notice their quiet scheming as he gave them their tour. Out into a small doorway aside the building, They stepped into the misty day that surrounded the island. Soos nudged on the twins, pointing around. "Seems a bit darker, don't it?" he asked.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "No, it's just the light. It's only…" he stared at his phone, ready to check the time. Only… the time on the phone continued to change. From eleven a.m. to six in the evening, to twenty three hours, to, the most frightening of things that flashed before the phone, just '13th hour'. When Dipper looked up again, his eyes adjusted to the light. Was it darker? He couldn't tell.

"What's the time?" Soos asked, studying Dipper's fixated stare.

"I think… uh… we've got time," Dipper managed to blurt out, and nodded ahead, "keep up with him, right?" he suggested.

Curving around to the side of the building with their spectral leader, they finally came about to a porch that overlooked the entirety of the backyard. Tombstones littered the hill. The mausoleum could be seen, its two heavy doors quite overgrown. Several statues looked over the resting places as silent watchers. In the distance as the banks of fog materialized, the four could discern where the edges of the island would fade into the river.

"You've got a lot of dead people here," Soos blurted out. Three heads whipped to him, hissing 'shh!'.

"Pardon?" the man turned around, his eyes scanning the four.

"Uh, Soos was just," Mabel looked around, "commenting on your great… decorations?" she asked, cringing in her choice of words.

The man gave a small chuckle. "What decorations?" he said, looking out to the hill. "It's merely my yard."

"We like the woods off that way," Wendy waved her hand off-handedly.

"Oh. They can be frightful at night," he commented, "but then again, so also mankind. Their habits for terror are not isolated to the freakish and fantasies of nature," he commented.

The four stared at him.

"Absolutely dude," Soos nodded, clearly the most blank slate of the four.

"Excellent," Gracey turned back towards the large doors, and opened them, "come this way. We'll pass through the ballroom here."

"Sure thing, mister Gracey!" Mabel chimed in happily, skipping ahead.

Dipper felt it again. The shiver.

He glanced up to a window, and saw her again. There was no readable expression in her face, but her eyes… excited? Cold? Sharp? What energy was locked in her stare as she traced Mabel, only then to look to him. Then he couldn't resist visibly trembling.

Stepping inside, Wendy awaited him, looking down the hallway that was perpendicular to the ballroom. Dipper followed her gaze and saw them. The workers and maids all were watching them intently.

"Okay, the creep is growing," Wendy decided.

"I can't help but agree," he said, and tuned, watching Soos and Mabel grow further apart. "We need to go now I think," he said. Dipper rushed forward, striding around several maids that had started to follow the group. As he and Wendy ducked aside from them, noticing their close pursuit, Dipper grabbed Soos and Mabel by the arm. Half way down the hallway, he whispered to them, "we really need to consider leaving now."

"Why? Ghost got you spooked?" Mabel stuck her tongue out at him and chuckled.

"Look behind you," Dipper growled.

Soos and Mabel did as instructed. Behind Wendy, who stiffly followed Dipper, about twenty feet back, a procession line of Maids and servants were following them, their eyes glued onto the twins.

"Okay, just a little freaky-deaky," Soos nodded slowly.

"I kind of agree, but only kind of," Mabel shrugged, "maybe they're just getting ready for the opening celebration ceremony?"

"By watching us at every turn?" Dipper hissed.

"Eh, I've met weirder people. Like guys who order coffee who only pay with change. Where do they keep getting that much change? Why does it always smell like air-freshener?" Mabel asked earnestly.

"And finally, we end the tour here," Gracey made a wide, sweeping step to turn and face the group," in the foyer."

True to his becoming, they were back in the room where they had met him. Dipper glanced over his shoulder, and found the girl there, now leaning on her elbows on the railing as she watched them. She seemed to be holding something behind a nearby pillar, draped by her side.

"Sir," Dipper said, stepping forward, "we just wanted to really thank you, so much, for all your work and hospitality."

"It was my pleasure," the man nodded.

"Now if you'll let us," Dipper said, nodding to the door behind the master of the estate, "we'd love to get dressed for the party, you see."

"Of course," he nodded and snapped his fingers, and walking past them was the dark skinned, balding butler. "Ramsey, see to it that they are dressed for the occasion. Anything ours may be theirs for this night."

The man nodded. "Of course, sir."

"Wait, wait," Dipper held up his hands, "we don't need you to do that."

As the Butler stepped past them, the eyes of the Master constricted and focused onto Dipper. "But I think I do, dear boy. It would be the more appropriate thing to do. I offer you help to stay, and you don't miss the opening of the party of a lifetime, celebrating something best found in life."

Dipper gulped, and felt his hands creep for the water gun. "Sir, please let us go."

"I'm afraid not," Master Gracey shook his head, his smile growing sadder and the edges of his grin faltering. "I would like to invite you all to be my personal guests this evening."

"Sorry, we're busy," Wendy stepped up.

"As much as we'd love to!" Mabel grinned.

A silky, smooth, entirely alluring voice echoed out from behind the Master of the manor. Stepping out as the doors opened, the woman who had been watching the entire time appeared before them. "More guests for tonight, father?" she asked.

"I should hope so," he noted, his eyes not leaving theirs.

"Father, introduce me," she asked, stepping next to them. Up closer, the four could see the beauty that was the woman before them. Her age, while neither past her prime nor in her youth, was undetermined, much like her supposed father. The blue in her eyes was darker and much more filled out than her fathers. It was a sharp blue, one that could cut with a glance.

"This, my friends, is Constance. Miss Constance Hatchetaway," Gracey smiled as his daughter took her skirt and gave a grand curtsey.

"Hatchetaway?" Wendy asked.

"What a wonderful name!" Mabel smiled.

The girl looked up from her bow, staring right into Mabel's brown eyes. "Thank you, my dear. I'm at disadvantage, however. Who might you all be?" she asked, eying them all, but returning to stare at Mabel.

As his sister opened her mouth, Dipper stepped in front of her. "We'll be your father's guests for the evening, but we're kind of in a rush to get prepared!" Dipper stammered, his heart racing now that the woman was barely feet from him. It was like staring down the face of something predatory, something dangerous. She was so at ease, watching him trembling. Yet he spoke again, despite his instincts telling him to distance himself from her. "We can meet again, you know, when we come back-"

"Ohh father," the woman turned, pulling on Gracey's arm, "they're leaving already? Keep them here," she asked, grinning at Dipper with a terrible confidence, "they aught stay for my party!"

"Your party?" Soos asked.

"Oh yes!" she laughed, "this whole night is for me," she cooed.

"Now, you four," Gracey said, his voice becoming stern, "you should be good guests and stay."

"I'm sorry, but we _will_ come back," Dipper gritted his teeth, "but we need to go now, so-" A terrible wind shook the windows around them. The storm shutters clattered noisily, hanging onto their hinges with limited strength. The glass panes shook and trembled, and the earth rumbled. "What's going on?!" Dipper demanded.

"Ah," Master Gracey stepped aside, his hand open and to the doors as his Daughter stepped aside with him, "Finally." His staff marched into place, on either sides of the main door, forming a line. Then, in unison, bowed. Edward Gracey, a flash of smile resembling his daughter, said, "The guests have arrived."

The windows opened themselves with a loud bangs. Curtains billowed and flowed away from their hangers, pathing way for the entering guests.

From the dozen or so windows, pale blue, transparent, ancient looking figures drifting in. Holding their tall hats on their heads, their dresses at their sides, their canes or umbrellas steadily at their sides, more ghosts than the four had ever seen in their lives started to fly in. Ghosts of nobility. Ghosts of actors and musicians. Cooks and chefs. Sailors and soldiers. Opera singers and song-writers. Dressed to fit their style and occupation, dozens and dozens, no, nearly a hundred had suddenly burst into the room.

All the blood in the three not dead in the house went cold as the grave, and Wendy just felt petrified.

"Dipper," Mabel's voice shook.

"What's going on dude?" Soos asked.

"It's a haunting… unrecorded in power," Dipper managed to say as even _still_, more ghosts floated in. He drew out his bookmarked page in the journal, "no wonder people thought it was a curse. It's not a curse. It's a haunting so powerful it makes curse-like effects."

"So we're really, really, really dead right now," Mabel half-chuckled, half-gulped.

"Jokes aside, yeah," Dipper nodded, "Grunkle Ford had a while to record his research into paranormal activities like ghosts. Nothing came ever closer to this! This is like... three level tens at once!" he said.

Then, the front doors opened with a crash, the wood wobbling in place.

With a terrible scream, the four saw the worse end of undead approach. Ghouls, zombies, the living dead began to crawl, pull or shamble their way into the building. Stench of the grace filled the air, and Mabel gagged as Soos went pale. "Aww, forget the buffet dude, I need a bathroom quick!" he cried out.

"See? The ceremony for my daughter has begun!" Master Edward Gracey announced as he began to float above. Lifting by his own spectral power, he rested mid-air before his portrait. The portrait, as the four saw, had begun to age. Faster and faster the graces of the man decayed and fell away.

"What is this party!?" Dipper demanded, "why have so many come?!"

"They were invited," Gracey sneered, as the lips of his portrait slowly withered, along with all his hair and flush, healthy skin. "All who are invited to Constance Hatchetaway's special occasion _**will**_ come," he threatened, his eyes flashing red.

"Let us go!" Wendy shouted, "we've dealt with ghosts before!"

"Not that we'd want to, but we could!" Mabel added.

The head of the estate chuckled. Then he outright laughed. As he did, his form faded until it was merely his laughter on the air. Behind him, the full image of the portrait came into view: a fully decayed skeleton with two blue orbs for eyes. Around them, more ghosts and undead they had ever seen in their lives or heard of in myth surrounded them, staring down on them with ghostly menace.

On the air, Edward Gracey's voice came back. "You can't leave now. The party finally has started. We've been waiting for you!"

The ghosts hollered and cheered and cried out with joy. The undead, those with jaws or partial jaws, moaned and screeched in reply. The noise was too much. Mabel reached out and grabbed her brother.

"C'mon!" she screamed, and the four turned and ran their ways down the hallway.

"Oh! I love a good chase," the voice of Constance said. They spotted her, now standing on the balcony above, watching them go.

In the hallway, the maids they had seen before slowly lost their color, fading into an unnatural, glowing, pale blue. They emerged through doors, and slowly barricaded the middle of the hallway.

"In here!" Mabel shouted, and dived into the closest unguarded doors. As Soos dived inside, skidding against the newly polished floors, they heard the daughter, Constance's voice behind them.

"Wait for me, dear guests!" she begged, "this is truly exciting! To chase once more? It almost makes me feel alive again! Almost…"

"Shh," Dipper held out his hand to his mouth as they crept across the room to the other side. "Find a place to hide," whispered.

"They're just going to come in," Wendy pointed out, "and assume we're still here."

"Unless I open this door," Dipper pointed hastily, "and open it. They'll see it and think we ran out."

"Good idea dude," Soos said, stepping next to a bust of a man, next to the bookshelf in a corner, "a distraction will-"

At this point, the bust became alive and howled at Soos.

"I SAY! A SUSPICIOUS LOOKING FIGURE IN THE LIBRARY! WHAT IS THIS!?" he bellowed, this thick Londoners accent booming around them.

"NO NIGHTMARES OF THAT DOG AGAIN!" Soos roared back, lifting the man up and tossing him at the doors across the room.

"WAAaaaoooohhh…" the head went, sailing through the air and making a perfectly centered hole through the two doors. His destruction had caused a number of books to fall from the shelf, and Dipper spotted one.

"Hold on," he said, reaching out for it. He barely had a moment to wrap his fingers around the spine when more servants started to float in.

"No time for waiting!" Mabel said, and tugged his arm.

"Ack! Mabel!" Dipper yelled, managing to grab only one book.

"Be a nerd when the dead are done playing tag!" Mabel cried as they pushed through the opposite door. Slamming it shut behind them, they were met with the large hall. At one end, they could still see the blue glow of the swarms of ghosts, now moving through the hallways.

"Uh, that door!" Dipper turned and pointed.

Wendy kicked the double-doors clean wide. She darted inside, turning and grasping one of the doorknobs quickly. As Mabel and Soos barged in, and Dipper nearly tripped rushing past them, the two ladies slammed the doors closed. Looking around, they were in the smaller music room, nearby the ballroom.

"Hide!" Wendy shouted, looking around.

"Gotcha!" Dipper nodded and dived behind a sitting chair. Soos rolled underneath a closed and propped up coffin, and pulled a chair in front of his face. Mabel found several curtains to duck inside of, while Wendy Took the a cabinet, and leapt inside it.

To Dipper's sight, as he peered past the chair, a ghostly head poked through the closed door, looking inside. The servant frowned, it's pupil-less eyes seemingly not spotting the four. Slowly receding back through the door, the specter left the four alone to their room, undiscovered.

"It didn't see us?" Wendy whispered across the room.

"Guess not," Soos said, crawling up from under the coffin. "At least we're alone."

The coffin slowly was pushed open, and two rotting hands struggled to ply open the nails that forced shut the box-cover. As Soos leaned back, and the three rushed to his aid, a voice inside asked, "Can _I_ come out?" a squeaky male voice asked.

"Not yet buddy," Soos said, and slowly pushed back down the top. "We'll totally let you know when it's your turn though."

A muffled, "drat," replied.

"Well, almost alone," Soos shivered as he turned back to his friends. Mabel and Wendy stood before him, and Dipper stepped aside, folding out the small book he had lifted.

"How do we sneak past all these Ghosties and Ghoulies?" Mabel growled. "This isn't going to be normal amounts of sneaking. Like super-sneaking, with super technology like invisibility devices or something."

"I'm pretty sure that ghosts see through tricks like invisibility," Wendy murmured.

"Of course they see through invisibility, that's the point," Soos stated confidently. Wendy stared at him.

Dipper gasped, and waved from his spot to the three. "Guys, come here!" he quietly asked. The three approached, looking over his shoulder to the book he lifted. "This is Edward Gracey's Journal."

"More reading!?" Mabel whined. "Can't people express their feelings through pictures and stickers, like me?" she asked.

The hand in the coffin re-appeared. "I could do that, if you let me out," it suggested.

"Stay in your coffin, sir," Soos pointed to him. With a sorrowful moan, the hand slid back inside, leaving the coffin sealed.

Watching the coffin with interest, the four looked into the book as Dipper read aloud.

"It has been months since my dear daughter has married Ambrose. The Wedding cost a fortune, but the ties to the family are now stronger than ever! It almost makes me regret not telling them of their dear son's death last week- Wait, what?!" Dipper gasped.

Wendy took a turn ready. "Hiding his body was most tasking, partially due to the nature of how he was dispatched. However, the secret of his grave is a safe one. None will find it, so long as I have my own mind about me. My dearest daughter need not fret. I'm sure that once we declare Ambrose having run off and left all his worldly possessions with her, Constance will be able to re-marry, and enjoy her life of true love. Dude," Wendy shivered, "I knew there was something wrong with that guy! He's a killer."

"Not just once," Dipper turned the pages, "he talks about it more!" Dipper turned pages rapidly. "There's at least five entries! Five people!"

"The master, that sweet looking man, killed five husbands?" Mabel gasped. "He must use those dashing looks to prevent people from suspecting anything of him!"

"So this is the power that's haunting them," Dipper shuddered. "Five dead husbands, killed for… I don't know, I guess their money? He does say after each death he forges a note saying that they leave all their wealth to his daughter, and therefore him." Dipper lowered the book. "He used his only kid like a grave-digger."

"That's all sorts of dark and messed up, dawg," Soos whistled, "and we've met Bill Cipher and- Uh-" he stammered, "well, we've met Bill Cipher."

The hands popped out again. "I knew a man by the name of Bill! If you'd help me come out, I could tell you all-"

"Look dawg," Soos turned to the coffin with the gang, "someday, we'll let you out, okay? But right now, we're in a totally big burrito of bad. So you're lucky you're in there, and not out here."

"Oh. Wow," the voice quietly said, "that's… sad to hear, friend."

"So, we'll let you out after the trouble's all done, okay?" Soos said.

The hands fell limp. With a sigh, the hands recollected themselves back inside the coffin. "I'll be waiting here. Don't take too long doing what you need to, friends."

"How do we stop this then?" Wendy inquired, leaning around Dipper to better look at the journal. "Do we just tell the ghosts to chill out, like this guy," she nodded at the now still coffin.

"I doubt it," Dipper said, "five angry spirits can do a lot of damage. Something tells me that we'll need to find them, and then bring them to peace before-"

Above their heads, a voice answered, "Something else finds you?"

The four yelled and turned. The woman, Constance, was standing behind them, her eyes glistening as she looked between them all with a dangerous hunger. "Ohh, so alive, so _fearful_… I haven't felt fear in a very long time, did you know that?" she said. When they all stared back, she huffed. "Well, don't let me stop you. Run!?" she suggested.

"Sure!" Dipper shouted. Grasping Mabel's hand, he darted around her, and she whirled to face them as they, all four, ran out of the room. Her soft chuckling echoed around them as they took down the hallway, going to their right.

"I didn't even hear her come in," Dipper growled.

"Happens when they can just float around," Mabel said wearily, looking behind her. Soos and Wendy also followed suit, and they found Constance in the distance, her form emitting an eerie aura of blue. While she was not transparent, her distant form was akin to the other specters of the building.

"Where now?!" Wendy barked.

"Uh," Dipper glanced from room to room they passed. Doors on either side bulged out from their hinges, unnaturally looming close to them. Enchantments and spells billowed around them in this haunting of scale beyond reckoning. "Uh," Dipper looked around again, as eyes formed into the wallpaper, staring and watching them go. "They can see wherever we are," he remarked. "Uh, where, c'mon," Dipper's feet pressed into the carpet beneath them, and then, to his right side, he saw them. Double doors opened just slightly, revealing large windows in the distance. "There!" he shouted.

Turning his shoulder to the doors, he charged them, bashing them open with a clatter. It was the ballroom. Across the large tiled floors, the windows and glass doors awaited.

"We can get into the graveyard from there," Dipper gasped as the four rushed forward.

Then the curtains fell on their own, blocking the exit. Dipper slid to a halt, his sister next to him. Wendy and Soos slid into their backs, as the four made for the curtains. Coming close, the red and gold curtains began to billow and sway, and stepping through them, more ghosts. Dressed for an occasion a hundred years or more, they stared at the four unblinkingly.

"Exit blocked," Soos whimpered, "I hate it when they do that in video games, but it feels even worse in real life."

A voice echoed behind the four, and they faced the double doors they burst from. Floating through the space effortlessly was the Master of the Estate, Edward Gracey.

"Dear guests, I'm so glad you could come here," he smiled happily, floating down to stand before them, some ten feet away.

"Back!" Dipper shouted, reaching inside his jacket for his water-gun of anointed water.

"We're not your guests!" Wendy snapped.

"Yeah, as much as we'd love to be," Mabel shouted, "you're being a totally uncool host! A ghost-host!" Mabel chuckled. "That's funny."

"But I wasn't just talking about us here," Edward Gracey grinned.

An organ far to their right blared loudly, shocking the four to turn and stare. They spotted a lone ghost in a large top-hat, playing away a mournful, sordid tune. As he struck cords, and the whole floor and air shook with music. Ghosts began to float through the walls now, in numbers that stunned them again. The amount they had seen in the foyer had merely been a teaser.

"Dipper, you know I'm bad at math," Mabel gulped, "so you gotta tell me how many that is."

"Too many," Dipper gasped, "at least five hundred! No… maybe six? Eight?!"

"Nine hundred," Gracey stated, surrounded by his un-living company. "By our estimates, nine hundred and ninety nine manors of spirits await release in this island."

"Nine ninety nine?" Soos repeated, "that's awfully specific."

"Now, let us have you join us this merry occasion," Gracey said, his glowing eyes growing brighter as he approached them, closing in the distance with his company.

"BACK OFF!" Dipper shouted, holding out his water gun. "I've got anointed water! I'd rather put you to rest, but I'll evaporate you if I have to!" The waves of specters stalled. Dipper glanced back to Gracey, who glared at Dipper. "What is this party for!? Answer me!"

"It's the last celebration we will ever have here. All because… of you," he said, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I said stay back!" Dipper shouted, pointing the water-gun at Gracey. "It's because of you that all these people are trapped here!" The ghost before him took a step closer. "I warned you!" Dipper yelled, and pulling the trigger.

It shot out of his hand and flew into the air with a strong yank. The four gasped and stared as the gun, devoid of aura controlling it, floated high to the second balcony, where the outstretched hand of Constance Hatchetaway awaited.

"None of that," she sighed, and wiggled her fingers. The plastic and water inside became ash and scattered in an unseen wind. "This night, we will end this curse all as one."

She then stepped through the railing, entirely incorporeal, and fell to the floor, where she landed upright. Entirely unfazed with her fall, Constance stepped forward, and all ghosts in her way parted rapidly, their head in a gentle bow.

"You said you'd break the curse?" Dipper asked, staring at her, "you _really_ want to do that?"

"Of course. So many here seek to rest in peace," she wistfully said, glancing to her father, who stepped away, his eyes wide as he watched her.

"Okay," Dipper slowly nodded, "you'd help us do that? How? Show us the bodies of the five men your father killed!?" Dipper snapped.

Constance stared at him. Then with a laugh, she shook her head. "No, dear boy, no. It's much easier than that," she said. "My five departed husbands are not the source that causes such gloom."

"Wait, they're not?" Dipper asked.

"Then, what is?" Wendy called.

The ghost of Constance Hatchetaway looked to the ceiling, eying the many ghosts floating above them. A moment of thought passed in her eyes, and she looked down. Once again looking to them, she smiled. "This curse was caused by true love."

"Whaaat?!" The four asked.

"True love is such a terrible, haunting thing, is it not?" Constance said, "with it, we are so tethered to someone that should they die, we are compelled to follow. Without it, we are empty shells, no better alive than… well," she looked to herself, "I believe my state speaks for itself."

"You're saying the reason this haunting is happening is because of true love?" Dipper asked.

"That's awfully tragic," Soos said, wringing the hem of his shirt.

"To break such a curse," Constance explained, "we have awaited ones who could… bring that thought of love to us. But not just any love," she said, and pointed to them, "true love."

Slowly, one by one, each of the group turned to Mabel. She looked between her friends, and a sheepish smile grew to her face. "What?" she asked.

"All we need… is one who can bring that feeling of love back to us," Constance said, "so that we can be reminded what true love really is."

Mabel cracked her knuckles. She stretched her neck. Giving her chest a quick gorilla thump, she stepped past her brother. "If you need true love, look no further!" she declared, holding her hands into the air. "Viola! It's-a me, Mabel!"

"Truly," Constance came closer, extending her arm to Mabel, "you? You promise to show love in it's purist of form? In absolute?"

"Pfft, please," Mabel laughed, "I'm still in mourning over a pig that I had. When it comes to love," she extended her hand, "I'm the girl to ask for-"

When Mabel's hand touched Constance's, she shivered and gasped. Her eyes shook out of focus and she stumbled forward. Constance smiled, and wrapping her two arms around Mabel's, she lifted herself and the now unconscious girl into the air with a sweet laughter. Dipper bellowed and reached out, but was too slow- Mabel was already too far out of reach.

"W-Wait, what're doing to my sister!?" Dipper roared.

"She is the willing one to provide true love to us again," Constance sighed, turning to them once more, now high above. "Soon, the commencement ceremony will begin, and dancing and merriment will be had, just as it had once before, so long ago!" she cheered, and the ghosts around her celebrated with her.

"You give her back!" Dipper roared, "Give back my sister right now! Mabel, wake up!" he called. Mabel's eyes, heavy and still, remained shut. "No! MABEL!"

"If you will not comply with my daughter's demands," Edward Gracey spoke up, his eyes flashing dangerously again, "we will have no choice but… to force you to be our guests," he sneered. A line of ghouls stepped through him and the hordes of ghosts suddenly, advancing onto the three. "Bring these three to the dungeons," the Master stated, and the Ghouls shrieked in reply, coming closer to the three friends.

"Uh oh," Soos said as they retreated backward, now nearly against the back wall of ghosts. "So, uh, I know that Mabel said she wasn't interested in being possessed, but now I'm kinda feeling like that's on their plans with us!"

"We're not giving in to them!" Dipper shouted, looking around. "There's… there's got to be a way! We have to get Mabel back!"

"We can't do that if we're stuck in a lousy dungeon," Wendy snarled. Stepping around in a whirl, she spotted a chair. "Guys," she said as the ghouls came closer, "when you get the chance, we all run, okay?"

"What about Mab-" Dipper started.

"Promise me!" Wendy snapped. "You've made me promise things worse than that before," she reminded Dipper.

The teen shook, remembering the cursed game of Strongholds and Serpents. "Y-yeah," he nodded, "I promise."

"So do I, so we're clear," Soos said.

"Good," Wendy sighed.

She then lunged under a collection of Ghosts, who gasped and stepped aside as she grasped a chair. In a dervish whirl, she stood up and spun the chair. The ghosts, though unaffected, where taken aback at Wendy's sudden burst of ferocity. Then she spun once more and hurled the chair at the window's curtains.

Fabric and all tore and shattered as the large, heavy chair smashed through the window.

"GO!" Wendy shouted.

Dipper lunged forward, diving over the shards of broken glass. The distance to the ground was slightly higher than the floor inside, and he misjudged his landing. Rolling aside a few times, Dipper hit the side of a stone handrail, and groaned, feeling a bruise beginning to form. Soos leapt after him, his rear landing next to Dipper with a dull thud.

"Wendy, c'mon!" Dipper shouted. The redhead lunged out, but a ghoulish hand grasped her hair, and she yelped, denied her dive forward. "NO!" Dipper roared, rushing up off the ground. The glass window was re-forming, the glass and broken wooden supports coming together and closing the way. "WENDY!" Dipper roared.

"Dude," Wendy said, managing to say as she was pulled away, hands grabbing her arms and clothes, pulling her back into the mansion, "get help!" she barked.

The glass sealed shut.

Dipper stared at the foggy, ethereal forms inside. They swirled around Wendy, shoving her away as an angry swarm.

"No," Dipper's lips trembled.

A heavy, tense hand reached out and grasped his shoulder. Dipper whirled around, ready to throw a fist in retaliation, but only found Soos.

"Dipper, dawg, we need to go!"

"Mabel and Wendy are in there!" he shouted. "We can't just leave-"

"Wendy is right, dawg," Soos shouted, grabbing his arms, "if we're all stuck in a basement and locked up, we can't rescue them!"

Dipper bit his lip. It was painful to admit Soos was right when it meant leaving behind two people he cared for. They were stuck in a mansion, surrounded by the cursed dead, while he and Soos were outside in-

Thunder boomed overhead, and flash of light from the sky told the two that a storm was brewing. Not only that, it was much, much darker than before. Night had already fallen.

To make things worse, the steps that lead to the graveyard echoed with the sounds of groaning and snarling. Soos and Dipper turned, and they saw, rising from their ancient graves, zombies. Many zombies.

"As if ghosts weren't enough!" Dipper snapped.

Soos pulled on his arm, lifting him off his feet. "Time to run, dude!"

Dipper, looking back once to the mansion behind him, turned and ran. Wendy was inside now, being pulled around and probably taken to a dungeon by the undead. Mabel… who knows what was happening to Mabel. But _Soos_ was right. They needed help.

Dipper, now running next to Soos in full force, reached inside his vest and grasped his phone.

"Nice thinking dude," Soos admitted as he huffed in their run. A hand burst out of the earth right next to Soos, clawing at Soos's shoe. "Whoa! Off my sneaks, bro!" Soos said, kicking at the hand. Freed from the grasp, the two continued their departure as thunder and storm grew above them. Wind whipped around them, still incapable of disrupting the eerie supernatural mist of the island.

Dipper gasped as he looked at his phone's digital face. "No signal!?" Dipper shouted. "C'mon!"

"Lemme check-" Soos reached for his phone, but another zombie lunged out from the earth, grabbing his leg. Soos collapsed forward, shouting as he did. Dipper yelped, and grabbed Soos's arms, trying to pull him away, but the undead's strength was considerate. The corpse snarled, revealing all its rotten teeth and frigid breath. "Take this, dude!" Soos shouted, throwing the phone at the undead. The cellular device imbedded itself between the eyes, cracking the worn skull of the zombie. Confused, but not beaten, the undead let go of Soos.

As Soos and Dipper ran off, the Zombie patted its skull, trying to discern what had happened to it's frontal skull.

"No, before I am interrupted again," Soos said, "let me check my cell pho-" he gasped, and snapped his fingers as he paused in realization, "drat. Let me go ask that zombie if he'll give me my phone back."

"SOOS!" Dipper yelled.

"Right, sorry!" Soos nodded and followed after him.

Down the hill the two charged. The Graveyards behind them faded, but the sounds of the undead did not fade. They were being followed through the mist. As they tumbled over roots and through bushes, the two saw the collapsed and moldy dock by the side of the river.

Mermando was by the boat some five feet in the water, but swam to them with wide eyes. "I heard screams from a distance! What is goin-" his eyes seemed to count the lack of numbers. "Where is Mabel?" he called to them.

"We need backup for this place!" Dipper shouted.

"Tell me where is Mabel!" Mermando yelled as Soos and Dipper arrived.

"Mabel's been taken!" Dipper admitted with a heavy, shaky breath, "and we'll be too if we can't escape and get backup!"

The merman stared to them. Eyes of concern, and even possibly distrust radiated from him. Yet the sky above crashed with storms, as lightning streaked across the heavens. Mermando glanced up, and his eyes focused. "Okay. We're going to get out of here first," he said, and swam to the boat.

"Yes, just get us out of here, and we can come back prepared," Dipper nodded.

"Just sit there for a moment while I get the-" Mermando said, looking over his shoulder while swimming to the boat.

With a burst and roar, a zombie emerged from the water, directly in front of Mermando. The merman shrieked and swam away with a dart of speed. Dipper and Soos gasped and stepped away from the shore as three more Zombies emerged, two coming towards the humans, and the other two slowly chasing after Mermando.

"I am faster than them," he cried, "but if I push the boat, they will catch me!"

"Then, uh," Dipper gulped, looking behind him. The shadows of the dead were approaching. He glanced back. Bubbles from the water accounted for even more undead that would rise. "Get out of here, Mermando!" Dipper roared.

With a curt nod, Mermando dived under the water and vanished from sight.

"Dude, what now!?" Soos said, "the boat's floating away!"

"I-I-I-" Dipper stammered, looking around.

The path in the forest had the dead coming. The waterlogged corpses from the water slowly were pulling their way to the surface. The wind on the water pushed the boat even further away. They were out of time.

"Just run!" Dipper shouted.

On blind instinct, the two turned and ran to the left, avoiding the lines of undead from the graveyard and the undead from the river. The woods now surrounded them, basking the two mortals in a sea of death with thick fog. Their sight robbed, they had to just as much dodge trees as they did the shambling bodies.

"I think I have one more idea!" Dipper shouted as they came to a clearing, with no immediate signs of trouble. Thunder crashed above.

"Dude, I hope you do, because my idea for asking for peace between undead and living seems to only go so far," Soos admitted, "and my past experienced with zombies is not one I'm happy about either!"

Dipper then stepped next to a tree. His back against the tree, he closed his eyes. He focused. The instructions of the spell were simple, so there had to be a trick. The trick was focus. He had to focus.

There was only one person Dipper knew who had been able to handle nearly anything. Who had saved him, and his sister, and the gang many times before. He never wanted to admit that he'd ask for help but…

Dipper mumbled, "Zander."

"Huh?" Soos turned, looking to Dipper, who was rubbing his temples.

"Quiet Soos, I'm trying a spell!" Dipper snapped. "Zander!" Dipper snapped, "c'mon! Answer me!"

Dipper heard nothing in his mind. He knew they had things in common. Zander had family. He didn't want the world to end. He… was male, as far as Dipper knew, at least. What else? The spell required them to have something in common!

"Zander, my sister is in trouble!" Dipper shouted.

"Dude, they're hearing you," Soos mumbled, looking ahead as he talked out of the corner of his mouth.

Dipper glanced up. Shapes in the mist had returned.

"No," Dipper begged, and closed his eyes, now hitting his forehead. "Zander, Zander, come on! I need your help! We're in way over our heads!"

"Dipper, we need to go!" Soos bellowed as six zombies shambled out of the curtain of mist.

Dipper shouted, "Damn it!" and with Soos, ran from the clearing. "The spell wasn't working!"

Their feet pounded into the loose earth of the woods around them. Leaves beneath their shoes scattered into the window, and their eyes watered as the air grew cold as it did windy. The stench of rot filled the air as earth bulged and expanded outward as they ran. More and more undead punched their ways out of their graves.

"Dipper, dude," Soos pointed. As Dipper looked, they spotted a place of possible solace. A small building with a thick door.

As they ran forward, Dipper stopped just short of the doors. "That's a mausoleum, Soos!" Dipper growled. "We're being chased by undead, and we're going to their home!" he hissed quietly.

"Maybe that's why it's so good?" Soos suggested, "Like, why would we ever hide in their home, right?"

Dipper paused to think about it. "I've come up with worse ideas," he admitted, and helped Soos pull open the doors.

Inside, the blackness of the crypts was absolute. Yet they jammed the doors closed behind them. Now, plunged into darkness, Dipper scrambled out for his phone, and activated the flash-light function.

It was a small room. It was also devoid of filled coffins, only of empty, untouched ones. The flowers in the building all had rotten away, leaving stained and ruined pottery.

Dipper opened his mouth, but Soos put a finger to his own. Shuffles outside and moans of terrible fates came closer. Closing his phone rapidly, Dipper and Soos backed up to the far wall. Staring at the distant door, with its bare minimum light leaking through cracks, they awaited for the dead to come forward.

Yet they did not. The dead shuffled away.

Soos leaned to Dipper. "Told ya," Soos sniffed.

Dipper flipped open his phone, flooding digital light into the small room with four slots for coffins. Two decorative curtains stood by corners. Dipper looked around further, yet nothing else caught his eye. The coffins empty, and no doors or hatches in the floors to lead elsewhere, they were in a glorified closet in the graveyard.

"Okay, we need a plan right freakin' now," Dipper declared.

"Right!" Soos said. "We exorcise them!"

"To exorcise a ghost, we need it to be still and in a position where it can't stop us," Dipper said, "not to mention, the time required to do that to nine hundred ghosts would be weeks!"

"Plus an extra ninety nine," Soos added.

Growled, Dipper turned. "If I had more anointed water…"

"But that Constance- she just wrecked that super M-L-G style," Soos said, "too easy."

"Thank you," Dipper barked, "but we need to focus, Soos."

"But… what can we do, dude?" Soos asked.

"I-I don't know!" Dipper gasped. "This is so far beyond my total grasp of what the supernatural could do! This is like a thirteen on the scale of one to ten!"

"And thirteen is the scariest number," Soos shuddered.

"I would say we could try reasoning with them, but by the sounds of it, their version of getting what they want means doing something to Mabel!" Dipper shouted. "But what!? What could they want with my sister..?"

"Maybe, uh, art-lessons?" Soos asked.

"SOOS!"

"Sorry, and shhh," he said, holding a finger to his lips.

"We have to think of something!" Dipper repeated. A weight under his arm tugged at his attention. Slowly, he drew out one of his books. "Maybe… maybe fight fire-"

"With fire?" Soos tried.

"No, with magic," Dipper said, laying all three journals out on the floor. "While Grunkle Ford was a possessed monster for Bill Cipher, he certainly had plenty of time to come up with great spells he either discovered or invented. If I could find one, just one, that could level the playing field…"

"Like what?" Soos asked after Dipper started flipping pages, three at a time.

"No idea!" Dipper growled. "I don't know! Okay!?" Dipper snapped. "All I know is that my sister and my g- my b- ugh- Wendy was taken!" Dipper snapped.

"Hey, Soos quietly said, "bro, they're important to me too."

Dipper breathed heavily, looking to the injury behind Soos's eyes. "You're right. Sorry, man," Dipper said quietly.

Soos said. "Dipper, dude, we're pretty close about stuff, right?" he asked, looking around nervously.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Well, uh," Soos started," because I think I may have an answer to this."

"Wait, what?" Dipper gasped. "What? How?"

"Uhh, more like a _who_," Soos specified. When Dipper frowned, Soos held up his hands. "Now, don't get crazy or anything dude, but I met a-"

There was a loud pounding on the doors behind them. Dipper dived for this phone, and shut if close with a snap. "Hide," he desperately whispered.

Soos rushed into the curtains, twirling them around himself. As he hid or tangled himself (it was hard to tell in the darkness), Dipper scooped up all three journals and dived into one of the coffins.

Bang. The doors rattled.

BOOM.

The doors swung wide open, and a figure stomped inside. Shadowed by the claps of lightning in the sky behind him, the figure looked around. From the crack in his hiding coffin, Dipper saw… full hair on the person's head. Also, the person didn't have the literal scent of death on him. But it wasn't Zander…

"Okay, come on out, I can see you tangled in that curtain," the person said, a rigid, tensed voice filled with authority.

Soos took it as a declaration of war. "Pterodactyl bros never surrender!" Soos shouted, and attempted to dive out from the curtain. The fabric did tear, but his momentum was stalled, and fell flat on his face with a loud thud. "Ouch. Hey, don't mind that, I'm not actually here," Soos said, his voice muffled.

The man above him, oblivious to Dipper creeping out of the coffin, said down to him, "yes, of course, you're very convincing about how you're not actually here."

Soos sighed. "Oh good. Thought you'd notice me."

"Of course I noticed you!" the man barked. "Now come on out, and explain to me what's-"

Dipper roared and swung out with his book. The man's head fell forward and he yelled, lifting a hand to hold the injury on his skull Dipper gave. The collapsed next to Soos, who rolled aside, briefly flattening the person under his considerable weight. Dipper wound up for another swing with the journal, but the man extended a hand out. "Wait!" he cried.

"Give me a reason!" Dipper called. "Two questions why Soos and I shouldn't pummel you here and tie you into a coffin!"

The man, his head crestfallen, sighed. "I have an answer. The answer is simple: two questions."

"What?!" Dipper snapped, "you can't expect me to let you do that! Answer a question with more questions."

"It's scientifically accurate to all of life's questions, and that beyond our understanding of such: to only find a question instead of an answer," the voice said, as the man slowly stood up.

Dipper blinked. _Wait…_

"Now, first question," the man slowly reached into a pocket in an autumn coat, and pulled out a picture. Soos, who stood next to Dipper while wrapped in his curtain, gasped with Dipper. The picture he held was one Mabel had taken one- a picture of the four of them, Yuki, Arline, and Stanley, all in the woods next to the Mystery Manor. The voice asked, "How is it you know my brother?!"

"You- you're- wait," Dipper stepped back, and lifted up his phone, "it can't be."

He turned on the flashlight function on his phone.

As light flooded the room, it was unmissable. He seemed younger, healthier, and kinder than Dipper had last seen him, but it was him.

Then, putting away the picture, Stanford Pines asked, "and secondly, have you seen three thick leather-bound journals? They have a funny golden six finger hand on the front of each cover?" he lifted his hand, displaying six functional fingers on his hand, "like this? See?"

Soos nudged Dipper. "So, I'm just going to take my cue. If you need me, I'll be right behind you." Then Soos's eyes rolled back into his head, and he fell into the ground with a loud crash as he fainted.

* * *

On the top floors of a luxury apartment, at the top floor where only the richest of rich guests can stay, a man in a long, black cloak paced by a large bed, holding out a phone. A silver mast as against his face, and he grumbled to himself.

Behind him, sitting at a table and a small sitting couch, three members of the paths watched him.

"Still won't connect?" Drew, the youngest of the three watching him nervously asked as he strummed a note from the strings on his guitar.

"Fifth time," the voice of the Master of the Paths noted.

"It's weird seeing you this upset about something," Maureen, the small woman of pixie red hair asked.

"I'm not upset," the voice replied, not even looking to them.

"Just nervous enough to pace for ten minute straight, looking at a phone," the third one said, Rushtar, the bulkier bald man with light skin.

The Agent looked to the three, and their interested or bemusement fell. No spell was required for the Agent of the Paths to conduct energy at a whim. They felt his tension the moment he cast it towards them.

"These kids don't use magic. Ever. They could, but they know better than to use it," the Guardsman explained, "it's dangerous and corruptive. But… I _know_ I just heard Dipper Pine's voice calling me."

"That's weird that a kid could do that," Drew said.

"He's your age," Rushtar reminded him.

"Sorry, whatever. I'm still taller," Drew shrugged.

"He contacted me, saying that he's in over his head, and that his sister is in trouble," the Guardsman squeezed his phone, and the plastic whined gentle as the pressure applied something formidable. "He wouldn't joke about his sister like that. He sounded panicked. Desperate, even."

"Well, I mean," Drew chuckled, "these are the kids that fought off those cultists last night. They're tough as nails!" he declared happily. The pacing of the master stopped, and he looked to the young boy.

"You think so?" he asked him.

Drew paused. "Well, I mean, uh, yeah?" he asked. "Not saying that they're invincible or anything. I mean, if something old, ancient," the Guardsman tensed his shoulders, looking away," very evil and powerful were to go up against them, I don't know if they'd definitely have it," he declared.

"Way to go, Drew," Maureen sighed.

"What?" the kid asked.

"On the path to calming him, and now he's back to staring at the phone," she waved to the Guardsman, who indeed, was staring at the phone.

"Well, it's not like we can really do anything, right?" Drew nervously asked. "I'm not sure we have teleporting capabilities."

"No," the Guardsman loudly declared, _"you_ don't."

He turned around, and marched through the three, stepping around their chairs as they all stood up and stepped aside. He pulled out the windows, and revealed the balcony from which they could see the city they resided in. As the wind's breeze entered the room, the Guardsman turned back once. "If I'm not back by mid-morning tomorrow, get to the safehouse."

"Uh, wait," Maureen stepped closer, "what are going to-"

She, and the other two gasped as the man in the black cloak jumped off the railing, and then, instead of falling to the ground in rapid plummet, soared away like a bullet. The air rushed around them as a gust of wind was left in his wake.

A minute passed before any of them spoke.

Drew lifted a hand slowly up. "Was I the only one who _didn't_ know he could do that?" he asked.

The other two shook their heads.

* * *

And so part two has ended of the Haunted Mansion. Yet this was only part 1 of TWO! 'Spectral Revelations' is the conclusion of this smaller over-arching dual episode, and ALSO the conclusion of Act 1 of Season 3, or if you think of every 10 episodes as a season, Season 4. Numbers, numbers, numbers: I'm a writer, not a math…guy.

So.

Stanford.

You all begged, and begged, and BEGGED for him to show up, but this has been in the works since season two (both in the ten-episode a season sense, and in the entire season 2). Ever since his reveal in the actual show, I knew I wanted him to arrive: his voice is just as distinctive as the rest of the cast. I want to remind everybody though: this is not the Stanford you know from the show. As some of you have guessed, this is a younger Stanford. The Reason? Well, things will be revealed soon enough.

And on a similar note, I wanted to explain something again. I think I briefly covered this a while ago, but I'm going to re-iterate: the canon of this story vs the show.

RtGF fallows show canon all the way until 'Not What He seems'. The past of Gravity Falls, the ties to Stanford and Stan, and the history of the world itself, have changed. Yet… I have explanations to how that change itself could be… canon!? :O

Until next week, this is EZB, singing away with…

(EZB adopts a cane and top hat, and begins to sing. The more he sings, the more skeletal he becomes until he is nothing more than a spooky scary skeleton. Want to know what he sings?)

(Translate below.)

* * *

Cnkt znk ixevz juuxy ixkgq gtj znk zushyzutky wagqk  
Yuuy xkzxkgzy lxus noy atjkxzgqk  
Jovvkxy vrgty iusvuatj ot yofk  
Sghkr'y lgzk ynolzy zu jksoyk  
Oyrgtj zojk corr ycgrruc eua grobk!

Tuc jut'z iruyk euax keky gtj jut'z zxe zu nojk  
Ux Cktje'y nkgj sge hk yzxatm av-yojk  
Yzgtluxj tuc ynucy payz ot zosk  
Yinksky ekz sgjk sge hk yahrosk  
Cnoin yojk oy nk? Sgehk nkrv ux ixosk!

Gy znk suut iroshy nomn ubkx jkgj Ugq Zxkk  
Yvuuy gtj Jovvkx vxkvgxk cozn nk  
Xkyiak, nuvk, gtj suxk zu zxe, goj sge iusk ekz lxus znk yqe  
Mxos mxottotm mnuyzy iusk uaz yuiogrofk!

Cozn loyzy gtj yvkrry eua mu xgoyotm nkrr  
Lomnz lux lgsore cozn grr xkhkr  
Ekz luatj euaxykrl uazsgzinkj otyojk  
Ykixkzy ruyz vxubk irgyyolokj…

Ol eua'j roqk zu yurbk znk vgot ul lgzk  
Ul znuyk ruyz urj yuary ot znkox urj kyzgzk  
Lotj znkox iktzkx gtj hgrgtik znkk  
Sgehk grr igt ysork ot mrkk  
Yu naxxe av, ux eua'rr lotj euax jkyzote.


	84. Spectral Revelations: Part 1

How long had it been since Mabel had opened her eyes? It seemed so very long and vast. The deep thrumming of her heartbeat in her ears slowly stirred her eyelids, coming to a flutter. There had been only a dream, one of terror and fright and sadness. She yawned, stretching her lips out as she exhaled loudly.

"Oh, oww," she groaned as she slowly shook her head, only to then jolt it side to side, "my head is killing me. Dipper, you got any aspirin or something?"

By the time her eyes were open, three things were clear. One: Dipper was not there. Two: she had a headache because she was kidnapped by Constance the ghost. Three: She was tied to a chair in the middle of the ballroom.

The moment her eyes open, the entirety of spectral, mostly opaque figures burst into cheers, screaming "Surprise!" and applauding.

Mabel leaned back in her chair, and smiled despite herself. "Curse my love for parties," she murmured as she looked around. She was at the head of a long rectangular table, and across the end was the host of this cursed, haunted mansion, Edward Gracey. With a poof of air, Mabel mumbled, "I should totally be unhappy. Stupid parties."

A loud applause directly next to her shook Mabel, and she jolted, looking to her right. Sitting in an identical chair to hers was Constance.

Edward Gracey held aloft his hands, and the room fell quieter. With his tempered grin made alive with the atmosphere, he called around.

"Friends, one and all, welcome!" he declared, "we are all finally here. It has been a very long time since we've had such, well, festive activities. It has been quite some time since we've been so, dare I say, lively?" he asked, with a grin cracked to his many attendants. Roaring laughter approved his joke.

Mabel snickered. "Hehe, it's funny because you're all dead."

"So many years it's been. Over a century and a half, and we've had time to think about the state of our souls, have we not?" Gracey said, stepping slowly around the table with deliberate pace. "The piteous circumstances that lead us all here. The actions taken? Long since set behind us. For over a hundred years we have seen only the darkness of this island's loneliness as solitude," Gracey said, the tension in the air growing with his talk.

"Talk about drama," Mabel huffed.

"Shhh," Constance quietly hissed.

"I would if someone gave me popcorn!" Mabel snapped back, and looked down to her body, entirely wrapped in rope, "or let me out."

"In these many years, I personally have reflected on the mistakes I have made," Edward Gracey looked around, "the damning I have done to myself, and you all. We are, all of us, bound by my mistakes. This night marks the correction and atonement. We will, by this night's end, I assure you," Gracey turned about, widely smiling, "no longer be shackled by this curse!"

The applause and cheers was deafening. Cries and whistles shook the air, and Mabel nodded. "Yay! This is good!" she cried around, catching Edward Gracey's attention.

"And," he said, holding a hand towards Mabel, "we have this young lady to thank."

"Ahhhh, right," Mabel tensed up, her teeth bared in a forced smile, "I was really afraid you'd say something weird and creepy like that."

"Young lady, it's because of you and your friends arrival that we have had such a stirring. Only passing by locals have stirred us, but never dared step foot onto this stained island," Edward Gracey nodded, "and because of that, you've all awoken us from our state of apathy. We're now remembering what we wish: to move on."

"Well, shoot! Glad we could help!" Mabel shrilly said, looking around for any signs of Dipper or Soos or Wendy. "Maybe, uh, since we were such a big help to you silly spooks, you'd be willing to, Idunoo, let me out?" she asked with a high pitched whine. "If you do, I can do tricks for you!"

"We already have musicians and performers for that," Edward chuckled, and waved above his head. Resting on a chandelier above Mabel was no less than six men of odd shapes and sizes and colors, lazily playing instruments, cackling loudly.

Mabel looked back down. "Amateurs. I could one-up them. Gimme a chance?" she asked with a frantic smile.

"Oh, dearest child," Gracey snorted, "you must see why it is we are in need of a living human this night."

"NO!" Mabel roared.

Leaning back, Gracey cleared his throat. "You do not?" he asked.

"Uh, no? Not like, uh, there's anything obvious about undead and ghosts needing a living captive or anything!" Mabel gulped. She chuckled despite her fear, and looked about the hundreds of eyes upon her. The pressure of the ethereal stares ate at her confidence and she trembled in her seat, until the moment when she then exploded out a gasp of air. "AHH! You're going to sacrifice me to some mad, pre-universal god of insanity of space and time so he can revive you, aren't you!?" she bawled, and cried in her chair.

"No," Edward grumbled.

"Oh good," Mabel immediately piped up, smiling.

"Mortals," Edward shook his head and looked to his ghostly cohorts, "so temperamental. They think mortality is on the line and it's all to the wet-works," Edward shrugged.

"Well, if you're not killing me," Mabel said, trying to adjust in her chair, "what _are_ you doing with me?"

"Tonight," Edward proudly stood before Mabel, "we are celebrating a wedding!"

"Oh!" Mabel gasped, and then she laughed. "That's such a relief!" she cried, leaning into the chair as much as her restraints let her, "I didn't know you guys knew I could legally marry someone!"

"You can what?" the leader of the performers on the chandeliers asked.

"Well, it's what I tell my friends," Mabel huffed, "even if it's not true, I'm gunna. _One_ day."

"The reason you are here, dear child," Edward Gracey smiled, "is so that we have the requirements of this wedding settled. After all, what kind of wedding would it be while 'till death do us part' is a part of it, and there is no one who fears it being wed?"

Mabel stared at him, squinting. "Uhhh right. I don't follow, good gentle-sir."

"What my father is saying," Constance quietly explained, standing up, "is that for the vows to be truthful, someone in my wedding cannot be dead."

"I see how that's sort of a problem," Mabel squinted, "have you tried 'not being dead'?" she asked them.

Ignoring her statement, Constance turned to her father. "Father, let me possess her now, please?" she asked.

Mabel's body tensed up instantly. Every fiber of fear and mortal terror in her soul shot out and she yelled in her seat. "NO! _NON_! _NIEN_!" she shrieked. "Not ever, nor once more, again!" she declared, and then glared at the father figure, "besides, this won't save anything, will it?! You husband-killer!" she shouted, leaning out and gnashing at the air with her teeth.

The audience around them gasped at Mabel's bold accusations. Edward glared at the tied up child, entirely ignoring his daughter's approach. "Father," Constance tried again, "please? I wish to feel through the body of a mortal."

"Soon, once she has agreed. You must have her agree, or else she may break free from the ceremony," Edward explained to his daughter, "and then break your wedding."

"But I wish it!" Constance snapped. Though Mabel saw nothing, the retreat from the crowd stunned Mabel. Ghosts stepped away from Constance, and her father took a step back. A darkness crept from the woman like shadowy tendrils. Just as fast as they had come, they were then gone again.

"See, my Child," Edward stepped around his daughter, who remained rooted in her spot, "my daughter needs to be wed to a groom this eve. We need one Bride to be alive. If she is wed, this curse perhaps will be finally shattered, and we will all be let to rest," Edward explained to Mabel, leaning down to her chair.

"And I've seen your journal!" she snapped back.

Edward gasped and held a hand to his chest. "How un-cool to read someone else's journal!"

"Yeah? How un-cool is it to bury the dead bodies of your daughter's other husbands!" Mabel said, glaring right at him. He closed his eyes and stood up. Mabel rocked the chair closer. "If I could stand up, I'd whip your face with my hair mid-turn and storm away! And I'd be pretty rad!" she declared.

"You know nothing, child," Edward said, his eyes devoid of pleasure or happiness. "The things I have had to do. What my child has done..." he glanced back, and Constance whipped around to him.

"I've grown tired of waiting. One hundred and fifty years I've been promised a suitor. I want a husband!" she shrieked.

"Go and get one yourself," Mabel yelled back, "this girl ain't bein' your brides-maid!" she said, bobbing her head left and right, and snapping her fingers.

"You refuse?" Edward darkly asked. Mabel felt a twinge of regret befall her mind. That tone of voice only ever came from those willing to step up their game, do something worse. Mabel felt the binds of her hands tightly, yet she was alone. Her friends were not here. She cracked a smile.

"What're you going to do me, huh?" she threatened, sticking out her tongue.

"Baffle you with terror of the mind so great and mighty that you would be left a husk of your former self," Gracey offered.

Mabel closed her mouth. "Wow. Dark. But not unexpected from a bunch of weirdo ghosties. But if you really thought that'd work, you'd do it!" Mabel retorted. "You need me sane enough to be okay with this! Or at least enough to let it slide! And I know that means we're in a checkmate, sucka!"

"You mean stalemate," Gracey told her.

"You're a stale mate!" Mabel called back.

Gracey studied her. Dark shadows under his eyes deepened, and he sighed. With a snap of his fingers, he called out, "so be it. Bring her out."

Mabel blinked. The crowd of ghosts floated aside, leaving a break in the numbers where the main doors could be seen. Far away, a cluster of figures floated closer. As maids and servants stepped aside and Mabel gasped, the person was brought out. Wendy, struggling for her freedom, was chained by three strange looking ghosts- one tall, gaunt, and skeletal, another clad in a thick jacket, and the other short with a very long beard and hair with a bald-spot.

"Wendy!" Mabel shouted, "they got you too!?"

"Mabel, Dipper and Soos are okay, they got out!" Wendy shouted as the three ghosts floated her up towards one of the many chandeliers. The musicians and performers floated aside as Wendy was slowly lifted up to the large, thick chain holding up the weight of the crystal and metal and oil-lit lanterns. "Whatever it is they're going to do to me, just ignore it!"

"Uh, okay?" Mabel gulped, watching the ghosts begin stretching out the chains, which seemed to add more and more links into the metal binding. She turned to Gracey, "speaking of which, what are you doing to Wendy!?" she snapped.

"We considered your friend at first," Gracey admitted, floating halfway between Wendy and Mabel, "she was young, and closer in appearing by age-standards to my daughter than you. However, as your exploration awoke my daughter, it became clear that she," Edward looked back up to Wendy, "was not alive. She could not be possessed by other spirits."

"Hah!" Mabel cheered, "another bonus for being a badass Corduroy!" Mabel cheered. Wendy sheepishly smiled and rolled her eyes.

Gracey looked down to Mabel. "But now, instead of unraveling the mysteries of this one, this... girl in-between life and death," he explained, "we now have her, your friend, in custody as well."

Mabel blinked. "Oh. Right." But she laughed, remembering Wendy's condition. "But it won't matter! Wendy was tough before she had all that magic stuff happen to her! She's practically _invincible_ now!"

"Perhaps to events and conditions that incite death," Gracey snorted, "but... I now know, having watched her defend your brother and friend, that she does still, in fact, feel," he said, and a terrible growing light lingered in his eyes. "Feels anger," he said, and Mabel's eyes grew wide as more and more chains swarm around Wendy, tying her to the support of the chandelier. "The anger of being out of her own control. She will feel fear, the fear of losing her own destiny, as we have," Gracey said, his hands grown into fists that shook with crackling energy of dark violet and yellow. The chains around Wendy tightened, and then wrapped around her arms and legs, leaving the rest of her unfettered.

"Wait, what are you going to do to her?!" Mabel demanded.

"And imagine the pain of feeling the weight of something greater than you pulling yourself... apart," Gracey warned, lifting one of his hands towards the ghosts holding Wendy. "Physically... pulling..."

Two of the ghosts floated closer to the lasting chains that connected the chandelier to the ceiling. Mabel snapped, "Leave her alone!" yet they continued their actions. "You could really hurt her!" Mabel shouted.

"Pain and suffering is only a twitch in the existence to the dead," Edward Gracey barked, and snapped his fingers.

The ghosts began to pull and tug on the metal frame of the chains. Wendy and Mable watched as slowly the supporting chains began warped. Slowly, surely, they would give. It was only a matter of time.

"Pleaes! Let her go!" Mabel shouted.

"Don't you do it, Mabel," Wendy demanded of her.

"If you let her go-" Mabel started.

"You will allow me in?" Constance asked, floating closer.

Mabel stared up to Wendy, and the ghosts nearby her, who had paused, watching her. Even if Wendy wouldn't die, it would be terrible. The weight of the massive chandelier would tug and stretch Wendy's body, tearing it and pulling it apart. Even if Wendy wouldn't die, Mabel was certain that the ghosts wouldn't stop. If they were willing to use someone who couldn't die as a means to threaten Mabel... she had only one hope.

She stared into Constance's eyes. "I'll letcha in my head."

Constance grinned widely, and her father waved away the ghosts nearby Wendy. Wendy struggled against her own chains, and shouted.

"No! Mabel, stop! Man, this isn't right!" Wendy shouted. "You've already dealt with this before! You don't need to again!" she cried out as Constance floated closer.

"You've dealt with enough pain," Mabel shrugged and gave a watery smile to Wendy, "at least I know what it's like... being controlled like a puppet," she gulped as Constance came closer, and then vanished into a puff of blue and green mystic smoke. The colors surrounded Mabel, swirling around her.

Wendy watched as her body twitched and trembled, spasms jolting the girl in the chair. The ropes around Mabel fell loose as the colors faded.

"Mabel?" Wendy asked.

Mabel made no reply.

"My daughter?" Edward tentatively asked.

Mabel opened her eyes. Her large brown eyes were replaced with deep-sea blue. She smiled, and stood up. She lifted her hands above her head, giving her arms a stretch.

She said, in Mabel and Constance's voice with a great, wide, grin, "I'm ready to be wed."

* * *

"No games, not right now!" Dipper shouted at the concerned looking middle-aged man. "Soos, close the door," Dipper snapped.

Unraveling himself from his messy state, Soos stood up from the curtains. "I was perfectly hidden," he noted, and rushed to the doors, giving them a steady close. As they were plunged into darkness again, Dipper was quick. He lunged back, and got his phone out, flooding the place with gentle light. In the dim light, they saw him.

"I agree. This state is too dire to make any kind of fun out of it," Stanford Pines noted with a stern nod, and then gave a second thought, "although, having a study about the effects of games with the living dead could be _fascinating_."

"Stanford, how are you here!?" Dipper growled, trying to keep his voice level, remembering how outside, the undead were stalking around for them.

"Pardon?" Stanford asked, his eyes widening, and he adjusted his glasses on his nose.

"Well, not to remind you of bad times," Soos said, coming next to Dipper, "last time we met, you kinda were tossed into a portal with big-bad-Cipher. Into some sort of anti-dimension, or something."

Stanford started at them. His eyes widened and his jaw loosened. "You... you know about my portal?" He stepped closer, but Dipper held up the weaponized journal.

"Back," he warned.

"Fine, fine," Stanford grumbled, "just answer me this- what has become of my research laboratory? If you know about the dimensional portal, you'd surely know about my research materials. I'm, uh, uncertain how you came across it. Oh!" he snapped his fingers, "it was Stanley, wasn't it!? That maniac allowed you children into my private studies!"

"Maniac?" Soos asked, the slightest hint of a growl at calling Stanley Pines anything but positive.

"Children!?" Dipper repeated.

"Well, perhaps not, uh, children," Stanford shrugged, "but younger. And he gave you my journals!" he barked. "Or... wait... did you get that on your own?"

"You know, not to be a broken record or anything, but maybe you could tell us what you know about what had happened?" Dipper grumbled.

"Yeah! And how you've reverted in age!" Soos demanded. "That's dark secrets that surely require the sacrifices of virgins."

Stanford stared at Soos. Only a few moments later did he shake his head and hold out his hand. "So, I can assume you know of Stanley, yes? How intimately are you connected to-"

"He's my second father that is greater than the first!" Soos roared proudly. Dipper elbowed him. "Sorry. Got impassioned."

"Stanley is my great-uncle," Dipper admitted.

Stanford gasped as his hands fell before him. "Wait... you're... but I never... wait, which means... Shermie?" he gasped, and stared at Dipper. "Same nose. The hair... that chin scruff," he gasped.

"It's a beard," Dipper grumbled.

"Hah!" Stanford barked, "and that determination! You... you're really a Pines, aren't you?" he asked, "my great nephew, right?"

There was something to be said about watching Stanford Pines act this way. When last they had met, Dipper remembered the shock of meeting youthful kids in this portal chamber, but Stanford had never acted like it was a surprise to realize they were related. And now, all of a sudden, Stanford Pines was before them, looking younger, and undergoing a realization that he was speaking to a teen related to him. The anger in Dipper's heart subsided slightly. This... felt different. The Stan Pines they had met wouldn't have bothered going through such a spectacle. Then Dipper steadied his sympathy, and rationalized that he _would_, if it was the only option to getting something.

"Look," Dipper said, "I think we deserve some answers, Ford."

"Ford?" Stanford asked. "Only Stanley called me that."

"Yeah, well, he's our Grunkle," Dipper explained.

"...What on earth is a-"

"Dawg, just answer the questions, and maybe we won't tie you up or something!" Soos threatened. Dipper leaned away, staring at Soos with wide eyes.

"Wow. Nice threat," Dipper nodded.

"Thanks dude," Soos grinned back.

"Okay, okay," Stanford grumbled, holding up his hand. "Look, I don't know how much you know about my past. It sounds like you've met me before, and by the sounds of it, under less than desirable circumstances. So," he continued, "how about I explain how... I can explain how the portal came to be? Is that what you'd like?" he suggested. Dipper and Soos shrugged. "Well, alright then."

Stanford turned away and sat on the coffin Soos had been nearest before leaping out and attempting to capture Stanford. Sitting on one of the sides, he leaned forward with a heavy sigh.

"From what I've gathered, exactly thirty-eight years ago, I began my studies on Gravity Falls. I had just graduated, you see, and-"

"We know about that stuff," Dipper rolled his eyes. "How about when you contacted Grunkle Stan and asked him to help?"

Stanford looked puzzled. "I... never contacted my brother."

"You didn't?" Dipper puzzled.

"LIAR!" Soos bellowed, pointing an accusatory finger at the man.

"Soos!" Dipper hissed and smacked his shoulder.

"Sorry. Got a little carried away."

"Well, if you'd like, I can explain how Stanley got in the whole mix and mess," Stanford sighed.

"Please," Dipper grumbled.

"Well, one night, thirty-_five_ years ago," Stanford corrected, "I received a call. At first, I thought it was a prank caller, as no one answered. But upon my threats to hang up, I heard his voice. It was Stanley. He called me. It had been, gosh, almost a decade since we had spoken to one another, and he just called in out of the blue. Among the most awkward conversations with people, I had never anticipated that one would be with my own brother, but..." Stanford shuddered, "ugh! That was pretty bad."

"Stan called you?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," Stanford nodded, "he admitted how difficult it had been since last they had seen each other, and he was wondering how I'd been doing. Well, considering I had accomplished twelve PHDs, and Stanley was broke, I, uh, took little chance to brag. Being, fair, of course."

"Which means you were a jerk and bragged into his face," Dipper scowled.

"His phone-face," Soos added with a grunt.

"I had no idea how bad it had gotten for Stanley. He barely had a coin left in his pocket, and had used some of his last ones just calling me," Stanford admitted in a rush. "When he heard of how much I had made for myself, he was ready just to hang up. I had never heard him since our father kicked us out, but... I don't know, I was still angry at him, but he had suffered since I saw him. Maybe a second chance wouldn't be too terrible."

"Wait, you invited him back to the shack?" Dipper asked.

"Yes," Stanford nodded, "to mixed result."

"Do tell," Soos asked, scratching his chin, "because the Mystery Manor was a pinnacle of tourism across the state."

"The Mystery what?!" Stanford barked.

"On topic, please," Dipper grumbled.

"Right," Stanford sighed.

"It was difficult at first. Stanley hadn't had a permanent home since he was evicted. Having him stay was sort of like adopting a stay dog. He tore into all my food, and broke a lot of my tools and utilities!" Stanford grumbled, "like my one experimental E.M.F. to Radar converter. That would have been useful during my paranormal researches."

"Your what to what?" Dipper gasped.

"But as time passed, I remembered why it had been as kids we got so along. I started taking him along with my researches, and he became... invaluable. As many times as he would do something stupid, and short-sighted, he'd be there to held get us out of trouble. With him and I together, things seemed... easier. Better. Like they may have been years ago."

Stanford paused. "Then I ran into a stump. The secrets of Gravity Falls all were tied together. I had no idea what was collecting them to this one valley in the mountains. Gnomes, ghosts, minotaur's, curses, crystals, giant spiders-" Stanford clenched his jaw, "I looked everywhere for the pieces of my missing formula."

"Formula?" Dipper asked.

"Yes. I devised a multi-functioning formula to explain how all the events and creatures of Gravity Falls. I called it 'Gravity Falls Weirdness Magnetism'. Pretty cool, huh?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. The two rocked their heads side to side, and Soos lifted his hand giving it a quick titling wiggle.

"So-so," Soos admitted.

With a grumble, Stanford continued. "The formula should have worked! I had all the numbers check out. Whenever something odd calculated by the formula was linked to a location, Stan and I would find it! It was miraculous. But according to the lynchpin, there was a missing piece! Something powerful and dangerous that had to be connecting it all! The center of all the relativity of weirdness!" Stanford declared.

"You never found it," Dipper said just above a whisper.

"No, to my ever dying frustration no, especially since in this timeline, or whatever has happened to me," he added, " Gravity Falls vanished, along with all my work! When I find Stanley... ugh!" he grumbled, and shook his head. Dipper glanced to Soos. Together, they silently decided that telling Stanford of his brother's fate would come another day.

"But then, while out on a stroll, I came across a dream, in which I met a monster- Bill Cipher," he said. Dipper's body tensed up and he heard the distant memories of insane laughter in his head. Soos scratched the side of his arm, and looked away.

"Cipher was clever and floral with his words. I was fooled by his demeanor into thinking that he could be trusted," Ford sighed. "I was stupid to think he really meant those things. You see, he taught me to how to construct a device that would re-shape technology as we knew it-"

"The dimensional portal," Dipper noted.

"Yes," Ford nodded. "That thing was the brainchild of myself and a mad being beyond our simple understanding. With his greatest teachings, I required someone with almost as much brainpower as myself-"

"Fiddleford McGucket," Dipper said.

"Yes!" Ford gasped. "You know an awful lot of-"

"You?" Dipper glared.

Ford blinked, and coughed. "Uh, well, with Ford's assistance, the three of us were able to do so much. Heck, we even made an entire holiday!" Ford chuckled, "I think it was starting to pick up around the time I... well, not to get ahead of myself," Ford sighed.

"The three of us added so much to the collection of knowledge. But most importantly, he aided in the construction of the portal. But Stanley just..." Ford sighed, "I was blinded again."

"How?" Dipper asked.

"Stan felt something was off. Every time he'd walk in on my meditations with Cipher, he quickly left. Ever since my sessions with that demon, he would never look me in the eye. I felt, as I was foolish to do, he was feeling inferior, and scared. After all, I was about to prove that trans-dimensional travel was possible. Pretty cool, if you ask me."

Ford sighed. "But Stan was... right. One night, Fiddleford was looking through the schematics, and he feared a miscalculation had been made. So, we tested it, the three of us. Disaster struck, and poor McGucket's head was engulfed briefly in the portal. Stan was able to pull him out, but the man changed. He refused to work with us. Said that this portal would... and I regret never listening to him," Ford's form fell, "destroy us. Bring doom into our world."

"He was right, by the way," Dipper scowled.

Ford shot up, looking at him. "But I couldn't have known! Cipher insisted that this was just lesser people scared of the future! He was very persuasive," Ford admitted, holding his right arm, cradling himself slightly with six fingers. Dipper glared, but said nothing. If there was anything correct Dipper had no arguments to, it was that Cipher _was_ persuasive.

"Stan wouldn't have it any more. He tried standing up to me. Telling me that ever since he saw me enter my sessions, he could tell something wasn't right. But I was stubborn. Still... he put doubts into my head that carried over to Bill. I started asking harder questions- ones that the Demon wouldn't answer. I then realized what I had done."

"Made a deal with a devil?" Dipper asked.

"More or less," Ford nodded.

"So what then?" Dipper asked.

"I started tweaking the project," Stanford declared. "The portal was accumulations of months and months of work. Even if it was started by a monster, it would be ended by a man. That was enough justification to turn this bastardized project into a miracle. Stanley wouldn't... see it through though."

"One night," Ford explained, "after I had severed all connections with Bill since his admittance to having _multiple_ reasons to making the portal," Ford added with a scowl, "I tested the portal once again. Stan rushed in, demanding I stop this. We... got into a very heated discussion. Argument. Fight. Whatever you want to call it."

"What happened?" Soos asked, his eyes wide.

"The gravimetric effects of the portal were... catastrophic. I was lifted into the portal, and could only see Stanley calling out to me, trying to get rope to catch me and pull me down. Then..." Stanford put a hand to his head, and a soft 'clank' rung out. "I was standing in the middle of the forest."

"Huh?" Dipper and Soos exclaimed.

"My exact reaction!" Ford declared. "I was back in the woods! It was summer, but now in the daytime! So I ran about, desperately looking for the town. If I could find a road, I could find Gravity Falls," Ford explained, running his hands through his hair, "but there weren't any. I found that lake, but not a single sign of beaches. Heck, I couldn't even find my secret stashes," Ford grumbled. "And then I found a ranger station next to a highway I didn't recognize."

"Did they say that Gravity Falls never existed?" Dipper asked rapidly.

"Yes!" Ford leaned closer, "which is preposterous! If course it exists! This just must be another conspiracy, like the assassination of JFK, or Oreo cookie fillings."

"What about that last thing?" Soos asked.

"Oreo cookie filling. It's actually a paste made by fusing together sugar, wheat, and ground up pixie eggs," Stanford explained. Soos gagged. Ford snickered. "I'm kidding. It's actually just highly addictive substances they put into them so that people keep buying them."

"But you know about Gravity Falls still," Dipper pointed out, "even though no one else does!"

"Well, not to break it to you, kid," Ford sighed, "the town was pretty small to begin with. No one knowing about Gravity Falls isn't much of a stretch of the-"

"No!" Dipper snapped, "people who should know about it don't! It's not on the internet, or on phones, or anything anymore!" Dipper explained.

"The internet?" Ford hummed. "I wasn't aware the government had a connection to Gravity Falls."

"Huh?" Dipper asked.

"Well, only the government has the Internet," Ford pointed out.

"Oh, oh no," Soos shook his head, "he knows so much, yet so little."

"But regarding to my story, as far as I'm concerned, Dimensional travel is dangerous as it is unpredictable. I'm officially calling it a failure!" he declared, "and I'm moving onto trans-chrono technology." He reached into his jacket, and found nothing. "Oh. Right. Shoot. Uh," he extended his six-fingered hand, "could I have that journal back? I need to make a note."

"Look," Dipper slowly said, keeping the book at his side, "even if I did believe you, which I'm on the wall about," Dipper admitted, "there's no evidence to support you."

"Aside from the fact that he looks super younger," Soos added.

"Shh!" Dipper snarled. "I'm trying to negotiate here!"

"Sorry," Soos apologized quickly.

"Hah!" Ford barked, "that's just my brother talking through you."

"Your brother!?" Dipper snapped.

"It'd be like him to try wriggling out more out of someone," Ford said. "He's good at that. Got a good salesman approach."

"How about it's me not trusting anyone else who's made deals with Bill Cipher?" Dipper argued, "Or trusting someone who's able to find us, across the united states, in a random state? Or getting to an island without any boat?!"

"Oh, I had a boat," Ford shrugged.

"You- wait," Dipper clenched his eyes, "you have a boat?"

"Had," Ford reminded him with a sad look, "got close enough to the island for the dead to begin rising up. They, uh, are the current captain. Had to get to shore quickly."

"But you boat is still there!?" Dipper asked.

"If you want to ask the zombies for the boat back, by my guest," Ford remarked with a roll of his eyes, "I'm sure they'll be more polite about giving it back than they were while taking it."

"No need to be rude," Dipper quietly said.

"Look, if you really want," Ford pointed to his journal, in Dipper's hand, "just open that and find the 'surface truth' spell. It's a wonderful little trick that only works when you cast it as someone is saying something, but if they lie at all, they are compelled to correct themselves for the next minute."

"Wait, what?!" Dipper gasped, and flipped through the book.

"Oh, wait, that's number three. That one was in number two. I think I wrote it in my invisible ink, come to think of it," Ford scratched his chin. The closed doors then banged and bulged. Dipper and Soos turned as Ford jolted upright. "Although we may want to wait. These zombies aren't keen on waiting for people to finish what they're doing before they bite at you."

"Dude, Dipper," Soos said, "should we, I dunno dude, just trust him for now?"

"What?!" Dipper snapped. "This is Ford! He backstabbed us before."

"What exactly does that mean!?" Ford called, "I'm now entitled to some answers!" he shouted, and lifted up the picture again, showing the gang, Stanley, Zander, Yuki, and Arline in the woods together, "I mean, who are these people? Especially the cutie sitting on the log? Does she like Strongholds and Serpents?" he asked, giving the picture a warm look.

Dipper stared at the middle aged man with a dead look in his eyes. The doors banged again, and he spun around. This wasn't a time for gauging the integrity of anyone, but action. He steadied his stance, remembering his sister's training, and spoke quietly.

"Soos, get ready. We're going to have to probably knock our way out of this one," he said.

"Right there with you, pterodactyl bro," Soos said. He then reached over, ripped off a lid to a coffin, and held it out as a shield.

"Listen Stanford," Dipper called over his shoulder, "we're getting out of here, and getting to that mansion. Stick close to us, but if you try anything, my sister taught me how to kick and punch in the right spots to knock someone to the ground in a _second_. Don't try me."

"Aha, right," Ford nodded slowly. "I'm sure you're quiet talented. Just a reminder though," he then pointed to the door and hissed, "those are undead! They don't feel pain!"

"Not a problem," Dipper sighed, and he rushed forward.

The door was knocked aside as Dipper stood up and kicked it out. The zombies, unprepared for the sudden attack, collapsed back and slid down the wet mud of the hill. Two more zombies were behind them, lumbering towards them. Soos made short work of them, and with one swing of the top of his 'shield', the two other zombies went flying off the side of the hill.

"Let's go!" Dipper shouted, ushering for Stanford to follow. The middle-aged man rushed out, adjusting his glasses as Dipper spun and kicked out at yet another undead zombie, knocking it again down.

"Wow!" Ford gasped as Dipper turned immediately after his kick and starting running with Soos. "And all you did against me was hit me with a book. Consider me thankful," Ford stated as they rushed up the hill.

"Consider yourself lucky!" Dipper shouted over his shoulder as Soos rammed another ghoul with the top of the coffin. "I didn't know who you were, or else I _would_ have!"

Ford gasped, and stepped over one of the fallen zombies. "We're going to need to talk about this past we share that I'm not familiar with," he declared.

"Later!" Dipper said as they climbed up the stairs. Finding a loose planter on a handrail ending, Dipper lifted up the potter and threw it ahead, where it collided with another zombie and shattered, knocking the undead to the floor.

"Later?!" Ford repeated. "We have plenty of time to talk now!"

"What?! I'm fighting off hordes of undead with Soos, and you want to talk!?" Dipper snapped. Soos spun around and clobbered another zombie over the head with the shield, with bent and snapped at certain sections of the old wood.

"Well, I mean, you're only running for your life," Stanford shrugged, climbing the stairs to meet Dipper, "plenty of time for a chat. And besides," he added as Dipper spun and jumped up while kicking away another ghoulish creature, "you make it look easy."

Dipper rounded on the timidly smiling man. "My sister is being kidnapped by those ghosts, and you want to hear more, when I still have questions for you!?"

"Your sister?" Ford gasped. "That's right! You did have someone of similar appearance within the picture," he said, pulling out the picture and examining it for himself. "Remarkable how much the two of you look like your grand-uncle and myself."

"In here dudes!" Soos pointed, tossing aside the breaking coffin lid. As he did, it smashed into pieces against a trio of undead, leaving them collapsed on the ground. Dipper grabbed Ford, who gasped as he was tugged inside. Soos was last in, and slammed the door shut behind him, and began to block the exit with nearby coat racks.

"Look," Dipper growled, "I don't care about _your_ questions, got it? You somehow tracked us down this entire way, and that means you know even more than you're letting on-"

"Or I literally asked a bunch of people who had been nearby incitements if they had seen these people," Stanford held up the picture, "and they usually told me where you went. Just following a breadcrumb trail of paranormal activities and weirdness."

"Uh," Soos blurted out, turning away from the door, looking past the two, "maybe we could not argue here?" he pointed out.

"Whatever!" Dipper snapped again. "I think we deserve some-"

Ford also pointed past Dipper, looking down the hallway. Dipper whipped around, and gasped.

Three well-dressed, blue, and transparent servants of the manor stood some feet away, listening intently and looking... nervous.

"...answers," Dipper ended with a gulp.

"Sorry," one lady with a curt, button like nose stated, adjusting her frizzy dark hair in her bonnet, "we'll be out of your way."

"Wait!" Dipper said, "you can't tell anyone you've seen us!"

"We ain't interested in gettin' involved," a tall, skinny man with pale skin assured them, his eyes wide.

"Cletus, let's leave them be," the third said, a man of bald head and pudgy face, roughly the same size as Soos.

"Wait!" Ford stepped past Dipper as the ghosts turned and started floating away. "Wait right there, please," Ford insisted.

"Ford, wait!" Dipper reached out to stop the man, but Ford pulled himself away from him. The three ghosts stopped, and turned, watching the man approach them.

"There are dead who stalk the land outside," Ford began, "and yet there are ghosts inside?!" he gasped, "astounding! How many more ghosts are inside this mansion? Are you three the only ones haunting this area?"

"Nearly nine hundred and ninety six," the one with a squat face stated.

Ford eye's darkened. "You're joking." The three shook their heads simultaneously. "That's a number that shouldn't be possible. Such a concentrated paranormal presence-" he snapped his fingers, "ah! A curse! Am I right?" The three nodded. Ford chuckled, and adjusted his coat, "still got it," he smirked.

Dipper shoved past him and made to the ghosts. "Can you tell us where they took Mabel? She looks like-"

"Him, only girly-er," Soos explained. Dipper shot a terrible glare at Soos, who wilted in the look. The three before him nodded however, and Dipper jumped to them.

"Where!?"

"In the dance room. The master was going to do a celebration there," the pudgy man stated.

"With Mabel? Why?" Dipper asked.

"We don't know," the lady shrugged. "We're just servants. Bringing up food and drink, and keeping the place clean is all we've ever done. Our masters business is not always ours."

"Still," Ford approached, "surely you know more than you're letting on. I mean, I can't say how long you've been in your state, but I can imagine that if you've been locked here with almost a thousand total ghosts and other spectral entities, you've grown tired of being... a ghost?" Ford suggested.

The taller of the three, with messy, straight blonde hair and crooked teeth nodded. "It's been real sad 'round here many a day," he slumped slightly.

"You know," Ford said with a warmth of someone trying to comfort," if you could tell us the story of what is going on around here, maybe we could, uh, help you move on?" Ford suggested.

"They don't need to," Dipper grumbled, pulling Ford aside, "we know the backstory to this all."

"What? You do?" the man asked of the teen.

"Yeah," Dipper waved away the ghosts, "don't tell anyone that we're here!" he warned. The three ghosts floated away, looking back at Dipper, Soos, and Ford the entire time.

Once they were gone, Ford grumbled. "Even if you knew exactly what was going on, they could have given us more insight, young man," Ford explained.

"We have all the insight we need now, in this," Dipper held up the journal he collected.

"Literature? Perfect!" Ford declared.

"It's a journal," Dipper explained, flipping it open, "to the master of the estate."

"Master Gravy," Soos added.

"_Gracey_," Dipper corrected.

"Slightly less cool," Soos mumbled.

Turning from Soos as he looked over their shoulder, Dipper pointed out the passages. "He talks about how he's buried all the previous husbands of his daughter. Each of them were buried somewhere in this mansion, or the grounds. Never was specific, but since they all moved in with him," Dipper explained, flipping through the pages, "I'd imagine their corpses are somewhere around here."

"Ugh. Say bodies, Dipper," Soos explained, "more politically correct."

"What?" Dipper gasped. "Who am I insulting? The dead?"

The three stood in silence for a moment.

Dipper then shrugged. "Okay, maybe bodies instead of corpses."

"Yeah, not a bad thought, actually," Ford nodded.

"See? Sounds good," Soos said firmly.

"Well, if the 'bodies'," Ford quoted," are in here, and they have some sort of tie to the mansion- or-" Dipper opened his mouth, but Ford held his hand out, "if this Gracey fellow is really the key to it all, the most important thing to do is locate the source of magic binding this all together and un-tethering it."

"I'm fairly certain that this is a curse," Dipper stated.

"Curses and Magic are among the same parallels of arcane energy," Ford explained, "like calling light and the shadows they cast unrelated. You can't have one without the other."

Dipper blinked, trying to register some of the information he had just been imparted. After a moment, he shook his head. He glanced back to the journal and spoke up. "The only other magical source of 'magic' that Edward Gracey has mentioned was a fortune teller that was a local that Constance used as a council frequently. She vanished just before the journal ends, here," Dipper said, pointing to the last entry.

"Interesting. Has the person come up while you've been here?" Ford asked, leaning to the page.

"Didn't really even know about a fortune teller," Soos shrugged, "but boy, would I have loved to ask her a thing or two."

"Then perhaps it's just best to use the information we have as is. Thinking in relation to the previous statements to this Gracey, and your actions before," Ford said, beginning to pace back and forth, "we can assume that all ghosts present, and possible all supernatural activities on this island, are connected."

"We think so," Dipper strongly said, "kind of got that confirmation from the ghosts earlier."

"Ah, excellent," Ford smirked. "This means that whatever connection that ties them together is a universal one. Which establishes the next line of action-"

"To remove that tie," Dipper reasoned aloud.

"Exactly," Ford nodded, "if we can remove the tie by means of exorcism, the rest of the ghosts could move on willingly, and no longer cause the haunting-"

"Cancelling out the over-all magical effects or cursed-based activates of the island," Dipper added.

"Yes! Yes!" Ford declared, "you're... wow," he gasped, looking to Dipper, "you sound as if you've dealt with ghosts before." Dipper clenched his jaw, but felt the smallest flutter of appreciation from the astounded and pleased look from Ford. "Still," the scientist continued, "there's matter of resistance. The ghosts will not wish to be released, else they would have gone already."

"I could distract them with my version of Mary had a little Lamb,_ Julio had a little Donkey_," Soos suggested, "but that's only the PG version of the title. It's actually called _Julio had a little A_-"

"Anyway," Dipper scolded Soos, and looked back to Ford, "we would need some for of defense."

"Silver mirrors?" Ford suggested. Dipper shook his head.

"None of the ghosts, to my knowledge, emerged from paintings," Dipper said, "and I don't just carry pure silver mirrors."

"Drat," Ford grumbled, "maybe anointed water?"

"The daughter of the master of this estate was powerful enough to evaporate the water," Dipper admitted. Ford cringed and gasped.

"That's no joke! Level ten at minimum we're up against!" Ford turned, looking to the barricaded door. "This kind of battle will be fruitless if we can't get more sophisticated material. Maybe going back for my boat would-"

"Stanford," Dipper turned to him, square in the face, "you want answers, right?" Ford stared back at him, and slowly nodded. "You help us through with this, and I'll give you your answers."

"That's a deal I can abide by," Ford said, and extended his hand. Dipper glared out at it, but with a resolute grip, shook the hand. "So, if we were to go around the standard materials to battle incorporeal undead," Ford started, "we'd just need an exorcism."

"Exactly," Dipper nodded, "and exorcism can remove the ghost from the bindings in this plane, and remove any ties to the other ghosts."

"And that's good," Soos nodded confidently.

"So, how do we do that? There'd be nearly a thousand other ghosts ready to stop us before we could do it," Ford grumbled, "if each of us started a verse, and they couldn't decide which of us to target, that leaves us with just under three hundred and thirty ghosts each," Ford explained.

"Which is just a little too much for me to handle solo," Soos admitted, "maybe I could handle... five."

"Then what we need," Dipper started.

"Is a barrier!" Ford clicked his fingers.

"Right!" Dipper nodded.

The two stared at each other, a light in their eyes. Dipper watched the man carefully. It was odd to see someone who... who he had remembered being darkly to him. The old ford would never have bounced ideas such as this before. Now they were standing in the middle of a haunted mansion, throwing around ways to stop ghosts and protect one another?

Still, this was Ford. It could be an elaborate trick waiting to be sprung. Dipper let his gaze fall, and he stiffened up. "I'll cast the exorcism, and Ford, you'll hold up a barrier."

"Uh, sure thing kid," the man nodded.

"My name is Dipper," Dipper growled.

"Dipper?" Ford asked, his head tilting to the side.

"Yes, it's Dipper," Dipper repeated through his teeth. Ford stared at him, and slowly smiled. "What?!" Dipper snapped.

"N-Nothing," Ford said, holding his hands up, "I just, uh, I like it. It's weird. I like weird."

Dipper fought with every inch of his being to not blush at being told by the Author of the three journals that he liked his name. Instead, he scowled and turned away. "You remember how to cast an anti-magic spell?"

"Effective as ten feet around me? Eh, shouldn't be that hard," Ford shrugged.

"Good. I got the exorcism down," Dipper cracked his neck by tilting his head side to side.

"And, uh, what should I do?" Soos asked, catching up to Dipper.

"Uh... keep an eye out," Dipper suggested.

"Yes, after all, ghosts are crafty creatures," Ford said, patting Soos's shoulder, "having a third pair of eyes will be quite useful while we're dealing with the lynchpin."

"Let's go, guys," Dipper demanded as he marched forward.

Following behind Dipper, Soos and Ford exchanged only the smallest of glances. There was a steadfast determination in their step, one shared by all three of them. They had a goal, and plan to attend that goal. Dipper saw with each flickering light the possibility of finding Mabel and Wendy grow sooner and more potent. Once they got rid of the ghosts, and the problem right in front of them, they would be able to get off the island and deal with Ford, one way or another.

Turning down a hallway, Dipper stalled in his steps, his eyes wide. As Soos and Ford turned the hallway, they too stopped. There were dozens of busy servants around the main hallway, but there was a figure among them that did not belong.

"Now, if I recall," For mumbled, pulling out the picture in his jacket and holding out before him. As he lowered it, he matched the smiling, widely grinning brunette in the picture to the similar looking girl down the hallway, "ah, yup, that's her."

"Mabel!" Dipper rushed forward.

"Hello!" She cheerfully cried out, waving at them, adjusting the collar of her shirt.

"Mabes! Dude!" Soos rushed over. Not a moment after Dipper hugged her himself, Soos wrapped his arms around her, and lifted them both up. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"Soos!" Dipper gagged, feeling the weight of Soos's mighty grip crush his vertebra, "let go!" Dropped to the ground, Dipper looked up to his sister and smiled. "You got away?"

"I guess," she shrugged, and looked to Ford. "Uh, who're you?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Greetings!" Ford waved a curt, six-fingered hand, "Stanford Pines. I believe you know my brother, Stanley?" Ford asked.

As Mabel's eyes widened, Dipper stared at her. "You didn't recognize him?"

"He looks so different!" Mabel declared. "Younger!"

"Yes, well," Ford shrugged, "from what I understand, you all somehow ran into either an evil clone of me, a doppelganger, a shape shifter, or a version of me from an alternate dimension who was also evil. Possible a mixture of the two," Ford admitted with a second thought.

"Well, isn't that weird," Mabel giggled. Ford grinned at her and gave her a small, appreciative, nod.

"You're okay?" Dipper asked, looking to her arms and wrists. Lines of sore, red skin burned in the light. "What did they do to you?" he saw something resting on her neck made of metal. "Did you find something?" he asked, nodding to the chain.

"Tied good ole Mabel up," Mabel sighed, holding up her wrists, "but I'm out now! Isn't that swell?" she smirked and winked. Dipper looked to her eyes, and paused. They didn't look... the same. She stared back, and her grin faltered. "Dipper?" she asked him. "What is it?"

"You, uh, feeling okay?" he asked her. "Maybe I should inspect you really quick-"

"We don't have time to be checking on someone right now," Ford grumbled, "as much as her health and safety is important, the fact that we have her at all is a great improvement to the scenario! Now that we have her, they have one less bargaining chip to use against us if we attempt to exorcise them!"

"Exorcise them?" Mabel asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah dude," Soos nodded, "super efficient ghost removal and stuff. I'm the third pair of eyes!" he admitted, and lifted his hands to his brow, scouting around like some estranged scout.

Sighing, Dipper looked back to Mabel, who merely smiled back at him. "Mabel, you good?" he asked her. She shrugged.

"Pooped," she admitted. "But I'm okay."

"Okay. Just stay close to me," Dipper told her, and took her hand.

With his sister now in tow, they four rushed into the dance room. Instantly, the tone of the party, which had gotten into full swing, shifted again. Ghosts dancing in intricate spirals in the air and on the ground stalled and stepped aside as the four entered. Edward Gracey, nearby the organ on a wall, floated into the air and slowly approached, a scowl on his face.

"So, the young men arrive. About time," he said, massaging his face, "now we merely need-"

"Ford! Now!" Dipper shouted.

Ford stepped out, and with his hands at either side, he shouted into the air proudly, "_Scutum_ _Sanctus_!" The nearby ghosts were propelled backwards, thrown like debris from an explosion. A sphere of light blue light had formed around them, enclosing them in their protective bubble.

"Yeah!" Soos shouted, "take that you spooks!"

"What is this?" Gracey demanded, floating in front of them while in the direction towards Dipper.

"An anti-ghost shell," Dipper smirked.

"Impossible," Gracey extended his hand, and was met with a solid barrier. To his amazement, he found himself pushing hard, and was unable to budge the region. He bared his teeth, and pushed even hard, and energy crackled around his form, cutting into the floor.

"It prevents ghosts from passing through the area!" Dipper barked in laughter.

"Although that pressure the ghost is exerting is really putting a strain on the bubble," Ford sighed, sweating beginning to form on his brow, "and making me struggle to concentrate keeping it active. If you could please start the ceremony," Ford remarked.

"Right," Dipper said, and stepped forward. Clearing his throat, he pointed at Gracey, who raised an eyebrow. "Time for you to leave!" Dipper demanded.

"Exilium Exanimus, Exodus Demonus, Spookus-"

"Dipper!"

Dipper blinked and looked up.

Red hair, tied to a large chain of a chandelier.

"Wendy!" Dipper shouted.

"No, Dipper, get away form her!" Wendy shouted.

A hand reached out for Dipper, and he was spun around to Mabel, who was grinning.

"No need for that kind of talk, Dipper," she said.

"Mabel, what are you doing!?" he snapped, "I'm going to exorcise him! Get us out of here!"

"No, you're not," she remarked, and he eyes flashed blue.

Dipper gasped. "SOOS!" he bellowed as his eyes grew wide in terror.

A hand struck out and smashed Dipper across his face, tossing him to the ground. From the floor, as he felt Mabel's fist imprinted against his chin, he saw Ford had barley a moment to react. Soos lunged out for Mabel, but she effortlessly ducked underneath him and then kicked up at Ford. The man fell up and backwards, landing on his back. The blue sphere faded away.

"Mabel- wait," he pointed, "that blue! You're not Mabel!"

"You're so right, Dipper Pines," Mabel said, now speaking in two voices at once.

As the blue in Mabel's eyes flashed, Dipper gasped. "Constance!" he shouted.

The body of Mabel did a quick bow, and then rolled backwards, avoiding Soos as he tried grabbing and pinning Mabel to the floor. "Down, Soos," she said, and kicked out at him. With his best intent, Soos held up his arm and blocked her attack. The impact was still solid, but he was not pushed around. "You're as solid as you look, Mabel's friend," she said, and then twisted in a jump, kicking again at the tall friend. Soos withstood another powerful blow, but stepped back, holding his arm in injury.

"You need to leave Mabel alone right now!" Soos shouted.

"I won't," the now alone voice of Constance, emerging from Mabel's body, spoke calmly, "she is the vessel of our salvation. With her, and her alone," the ghost possessing the body explained, "I will have my deserved happy ever after!" she roared, and leapt up, driving a punch across Soos's face.

Unprepared, Soos's chin took up all the fist, and he staggered aside, clumping to the ground, and slowly struggling to stand up. The crowds around him started to laugh.

"Stop abusing that innocent man-child!" Ford declared, and he too rushed forward. Mabel's body turned about, and easily slid underneath Ford without effort. As he stumbled around to face her, she punched once in his stomach, and as he bent over in a gasp, elbowed his back so he crumbled to the ground. "On second thought," he gasped for air, "stop abusing me."

"You know Mabel's moves!" Dipper growled, and rushed forward.

"I can see into all Mabel's memories," Constance assured her, "her training, her time spent with her brother and friends, and the many times she's had her heart broken. She's just as ready to find someone who loves her back as _I _am," Constance assured Dipper, and then lunged out with her foot.

Wendy cried out from the ceiling. "Mabel! Fight this! You wouldn't hurt your brother!"

Dipper stepped back and under the whip of the kick. This was a power Dipper had only seen, never experienced first hand. She was really trying to nail him down with her attacks. The wind he felt dart around him with each dodge was strong as it was accurate. It was only with Dipper's attempts to use Constance's inexperience and feint his movement that allowed him to dodge. Yet he could not find a moment to retaliate. He was stuck on defensive.

Then Dipper found a moment. He stepped into a kick, lifting his own foot high up to counter. As he did, the impact skidded him to the side several inches, and his leg felt as if it had received an electrical shock, but he was fine. Now, a foot from her, he drove his fist towards her-

Until he saw her face. Her eyes were stained with tears.

Yet she was smiling.

In the smallest of pause he took, seeing his sister's pain, Dipper felt a fist strike the center of his gut, and he expelled all his air at once. His world reeled as the laughter of the ghosts rang supreme.

"Mortals! Pain! Such amusing things," Gracey shook his head. "They think they suffer as they do, being alive."

"They do suffer!" Wendy shouted, "stop hurting them! Just because you hurt _more_ doesn't mean their pain is any less!" She shouted from the chandeliers.

"But it is _less_," the wet cheeks of Mabel reflected the light of the grim candles around them. "And less won't do. You all would have banished my father forcibly?" Constance asked. "I think that means I'm done with you all. Away with you. Be banished."

She wove her hand through the air, and there was a terrible, sickening cracking. The floor beneath the three began to warp and twist. Slowly, surely, a fissure of darkness opened up and the floors cracked open, spraying their guts of stone, wood, and dirt into the air. Soos clawed away from the center, closest to it, but could only scream as he then fell back, plummeting into darkness.

"No! Not again!" Ford yelled, collapsing backwards and rolling into the still growing crack in the floor. One slip of his hand, and he too slid, shouting his entire way, as he vanished into the dark.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, clawing his way at her.

She stood some feet away. Standing over him as a lord would stand over their helpless. Dipper pulled at sections protruding from the floor, pushing his advance closer. Finally he stood, and lunged at her, grabbing her arms.

"You can fight this," he reminded her, "you can get out of this! Just concentrate!" he assured her. "C'mon!"

Then she grinned. Tears ran freely down her face, yet she smiled. She took a step closer to the pit, forcing Dipper to step back with her.

"Mabel, no, wait," Dipper begged, trying to step around her, but she grasped his neck and held him out. She then stepped out onto thin air, floating above the now stable crevasse she had created. "Stop," Dipper begged through strained air.

She laughed, and let go.

Dipper was faster than she had thought. He snatched his hand up, and grabbed at the first thing he could- a chain dangling off her form. Next to his hand, as he gripped tightly, was a small key. He eyed the key, sure he had seen the color before- a tinted, faded pink.

Her hand again felt on his own.

Constance said, with the widest smile Dipper had ever seen Mabel wear, "Nothing will stop true love this day."

She then cast him down.

Wendy roared, "DIPPER!"

The chain broke from her neck, and Dipper screamed as he fell backwards, vanishing into the darkness below. The laughter of the ghosts filled his ears as he fell back, watching as the darkness slowly consumed the light, and all that was left was Mabel watching him descend.

The floor began to repair itself effortlessly. The broken off pieces re-assembled themselves. Mabel turned away, from the still repairing floor, and cheered.

"This day, we will have one, last, _great_ celebration!" Constance roared.

The party began again.

Wendy sobbed and shook her head as the ghosts danced around her. There was no one left now. She was it. Left alone in the sea of dead who neither cared for her or Mabel, who was eagerly and carelessly used as a vessel by Constance.

Mabel's body began to twirl about the other ghosts. Not able to actually dance with them, she merely spun herself around. She was drunk in the idea of love, put off her mildest natures by the promise of an end. Her father clapped for her and cheered her on, giving her encouragement as she twirled faster and faster and faster!

The doors opened, and Mabel's body stalled as Constance came to a heaving stop, wondering who was late.

A figure stepped into the room, wearing a silver mask.

"Who is that?" Constance asked to her father, who landed next to her, his eyes squinting as he analyzed the newcomer.

"I do not know," he admitted.

Wearing black cloak, darker wear, and a strange, but beautiful shimmering scarf, the man lifted a black, gloved hand to the mask, and lowered it. Constance sighed and felt the heart rate of her possessed body naturally increase. The blond man before her was beautiful and handsome, and looked around with a pleasant smile.

"I hope I'm not too late," Zander Maximillion said as he smiled to Mabel and stepped into the room.

* * *

Oh Zander, you idiot. Or do you think you're being clever?

So. Uh. About these past three weeks.

My motherboard died. I totally blame Ford for it, because like three days after posting, I was talking about how I'm never going to finish this story with all these breaks, and I only _just_ got to Stanford. At that point, my computer started acting weird, and my motherboard hit the pooper.

Since then, I've had no steady computer. And I could have written things on other stuff (I have a library close by) but the NOTES on this computer were locked away until this past week. UGH. So, note to self- use a drop box. Now this won't ever happen again.

And you all got Stanford. More Stanford.

And Zander!

And random zombie #2! Wasn't he cool?

(Random Zombie #2 swipes at EZB, and knocks off his head with one fell swoop. I guess that's what he deserves for not having better foresight. Idiot)


	85. Spectral Revelations: Part 2

When a strange comes knocking at the very front door that you know nothing of or about, many thoughts aught to come through the mind. 'Who are they', or 'what do they want with me' are easily understandable and relatable for instantaneous reactions. Looking to someone like this and asking to oneself 'are they single' is not.

"Who's that, father?" Mabel's body asked as Constance acted through her.

From far above, Wendy Corduroy, still chained to the chandelier, gasped. "Zander!"

"I don't know," Master Edward Gracey squinted, examining the clad figure from the distance. "Interesting wear for such a thrilling night," he admitted, eyeing the black cloak.

"I think it's very flashy," Constance hummed and stared at the face. Blond hair, green eyes, and a pleasing smile and glimmer in his eyes that seemed to reflect and absorb all the light of the room simultaneously. Constance, through Mabel, scratched her chin absentmindedly. "He seems..." she pondered, "mysterious."

Edward Gracey snorted, and stepped forward, adjusting his tie. The man who had removed the cloak was looking around himself when the master of the estate approached him.

"Sir, might my servants be of aid to you?" Gracey asked.

The man, placing away his mask and pulling out from his sleeve a long, black, but shimmering and beautifully cosmic looking scarf, smiled. He placed the scarf around his neck, and lowered the hem of his cloak, allowing his collar bones to breath a little, displaying a timeless, intricate, formal black shirt underneath. Gracey's eyebrows raised gently as he observed the man, spotting the formal attire.

"No, but I think I've found my man," the newcomer smiled, extending a hand, "It's an honor to finally meet you, Edward Gracey."

Gracey let a constrained chuckle, and took the hand in a grasp. "I'm very honor to please you, my dear visitor. How do you know of me?" Gracey smiled.

"Word spreads through the north with trade among the coast," the man said, coming to a comfortable fit with his scarf, and adjusting his hair with a quick brush from his gloved hand.

"You're a businessman?" Gracey asked.

The man shrugged. "In many regards. Others would call me a lover of commerce," the man laughed, catching Gracey off guard as he did as well.

"My word! So forward!" Gracey shook his head. "If you would please introduce yourself? I would be so grateful to know the charm of my company."

"As would I," Constance stepped forward, her modern clothing and Mabel's appearance reflecting in the eyes of the man. His eyes drank her, but his surface emotion never changed.

"If it would please you two," he nodded, "my name is Maxwell Orvas, of the-"

"_Baltimore Atlantic Posterity Shippers_?" Edward gasped, and darted out his hand and snatched the man for a rigorous handshake. The man, identified as Maxwell, beamed and shook his head. Yet Gracey said, "I am a such a fool! The honor is all mine! To have someone so generous in your trade regulations and offerings to-"

Maxwell Orvas chuckled and shook his head. "Please, no, Master Gracey. This is a time of celebration, not for business," he said with a wink.

"I agree," Constance said with Mabel's voice, siding up to her father. She extended her hand outward in a semi-limp, inviting way. "Constance Hachetaway, my lord."

"Hey!" Wendy shouted from above, having never ceased watching the events from above, "that's Mabel's thing! Don't you copy-her! _She_ likes flirting with him! Not you!"

Zander Maximillion bowed and extended his own hand. "Maxwell Orvas," he said, cupping her hand in the gentlest of embraces. "And I am no lord among such company," he said with the smallest of winks. Constance let out a gasp and tremble as he stood up.

"You are... fascinating," she said, taking a step closer.

"Thank you," Zander let the tiniest of bows come from him, "it has been a blessing and curse to be known as such."

"Zander!" Wendy shouted. "Zander! That's not mabel!"

The three looked up to Wendy, the father and daughter whipping around to stare at her. Zander scratched his forehead and chuckled. "What's happened to that poor dear?" he questioned.

"A girl with little regard for the formalities of a gentlemen's party," Edward snarled.

"Please, ignore her," Constance turned back, and stepped forward, slowly laying a hand onto his chest. "Perhaps you would do me the honor of a dance?"

"A dance?" Zander smiled, turning back to Mabel. "I would be delighted, madam."

Constance blushed, and lead the gentlemen to the center of the room, where the ghosts parted, and began assigning themselves dancing partners. Wendy called and struggled from above, her anger and frustration building as Zander left her line of sight.

"Musicians," Edward called, "let your music soar!"

The tune began. It was a waltz; somber, almost morbid and warped, but entirely upbeat. The ghosts all bowed, along with Constance and Zander, and they began their spinning. Around and around they twirled, making circles within circle. Mabels body and Zander were quick to keep up with the pace of the ghosts, but occasionally they would brush with another specter, and Constance would apologize.

"Are you well, Miss Hachetaway?" Zander asked, pausing at a point along the edge of a circle where he pulled her away.

"Yes, just," Constance sighed, "wearing this new outfit is quite the struggle.

"New?" Zander asked, his eyes sharpening.

"It's hard to remember the differences in height and size of feet. Balance and the speed I can move at. I must be so clumsy to someone as important as you!" she giggled.

Zander shook his head. "No, no. You're quite fine, my lady," he smiled gently. The face on the girl blushed so bright red it may have appeared as crimson paint. Zander leaned in closer, and her eyes became hazy. "Madam, I know this might be rather blunt of me, but would I have the privilege to ask to speak to your other?"

"Pardon?" she snapped, leaning back. Zander's eyes continued to twinkle, and so she softened her sharp glare. "Whatever for? Aren't I enough woman for you?" she asked with a wink.

Zander smiled. "I would be in your debt to speak with her," Zander stated.

The ghostly presence frowned. Yet, the simple request of the man before her seemed... reasonable. She nodded slowly, and sighed. "I can permit you a minute. Otherwise she may try resisting me."

Zander nodded. "Naturally." The blue in Mabel's brown eyes faded, and the girl became limp, stumbling forward into Zander. The man in black snatched out and grasped the shoulders and arms of Mabel, holding her steady. "Mabel?" he asked, leaning down and peering into the twin's eyes.

She looked up to him. Unfocused, sleepy, and with hints of dread, Mabel's gaze was peppered with doubt. Yet his appearance shaped her outlook- she began to smile.

"Zander," she said quietly. Then she looked around, to the distant dance floor. "Are we in mid-dance? What's going-" she gasped, and stood up fully, "Constance!"

"She's still within your mind, I think," Zander said, never leaving his own gaze away from Mabel. "Can she hear us?" he asked, his smile fading.

"I, uh, don't think so?" Mabel shrugged. "I think she ran off to browse the section of my brain I keep all the memories of handsome men."

Zander smirked. "Of course," he then leaned into her, "Mabel, what is happening here? I was summoned by Dipper."

"He used _magic_?" Mabel gasped. "But that's bad!"

"A minor for of magic, one I've encountered before," Zander rolled his eyes. "Of the choice list he could have used, its forgivable."

"Oh," Mabel grinned, "Good. As long as you're okay with it."

His expression dulled. "Mabel, what is going on," he re-stated.

Her own gaze softened, and she looked around. "This... this house is haunted."

Zander slowly nodded. "That it is."

"No, but not just by ghosts, but by love," Mabel groaned, holding her head, "Constance doesn't like that I can read some things about her like she can with me. Stupid!" she grumbled.

"Focus, Mabel," Zander said calmly.

"She doesn't like it," Mabel grumbled, "like peanut butter with pineapple! Gross," she mumbled, and swatted at a section of air next to Zander. "I can't... my brain feels all loose and wiggly," Mabel told him, her eyes struggling to stay on him.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk now," Zander said, resting a hand next to her cheek and lifting her jaw to a close. The moment he touched, Mabel's eyes closed and her cheeks went a soft pink. He still lifted her face to him, and he spoke. "Where is Dipper? Nod if he is around."

She shook her head.

"Dang," Zander but his lip, looking around, "nod for yes, and shake for no. Is he in the house?" he tried. Mabel nodded. "Is he... freely in the house?" he asked again. She shook her head. "Imprisoned?" he whispered. She shook her head. "Point to where," he asked.

He watched her raise her hand, and point to the middle of the floor. "Below," she managed to say, "bottom. Hehehe, like a butt," she managed, before falling backwards. Zander stepped forward, sweeping in with his hand and catching her without the slightest ease.

"Mabel?" he asked.

The eyes slowly fluttered open, and the brown was slowly rescinding to blue. "Zander," Mabel's voice pleaded. Zander stifled a gasp. She was crying in his arms. "She's so sad. Constance wants to feel true love so badly. Sooo baaddly. Ugh. My head," she added, holding her palms to her temples.

"What happened to your brother," he tried again, this time sharper.

Mabel's body jolted. The blue returned, and her control over her body was restored. "Oh!" Constance's voice gasped.

"Are you well?" Zander asked, his pleasant tone instantly returned.

"Yes. I forgot how taxing it is to reside in the sub-conscious," she said with a chuckle as she was lifted upright by Zander. She peered up at him, the shimmering beacon of bright blue overlaying the natural splashes of brown eyes. "Hopefully your chat with the young lady was not unseemly, causing you any worth of trouble."

"Not at all, lady Hachetaway," Zander smiled.

"Call me Constance," she asked, stepping closer.

"Well, Constance," Zander beamed a wide, toothy-smile, "I think I must retire to my carriage for a quick spell."

"Oh! What on earth for?" she asked as he turned and walked away.

"I am clearly not dressed for such a wonderful evening. I was mistold that costumes would be, uh, the stated attire," he snickered, holding out his own cape like some strange bat. Edward Gracey stepped around him, eying the display.

"It is rather dramatic," the ghost admitted.

"Nonesense!" Constance swatter her father's shoulder, which flew straight through the ghost, yet she looked to Zander, "I think it fits you well." Zander smiled and nodded.

"You may be right, Constance," he said with another small nod. "But such long cloaks cause mis-steps and trips. And while dancing, we wouldn't need any of that, would we?" he proposed. The two watched him, Gracey studying him more closely while Constance gazed into his eyes.

"We expect to be graced by your person again, my lord," Edward nodded.

"Of course!" Zander laughed, "after all, if there is something we both have plenty of, it is time," he said, and turned.

"Zander!"

The man in black paused, but did not turn around. Wendy shouted again. "Zander!"

"She makes such a ruckus," Gracey barked. "Put bindings around her incessant mouth!"

"Zander, the floor ate them!" Wendy shouted, "they fell down a huge crack in the ground that Constance made with magic or something," Wendy said as the three ghosts that had dragged her in approached her, carrying with them a few material pieces of cloth. "Hey, get away!" Wendy snapped at them, and when they did not, she looked again down to Zander, "hey! Zander!" she roared.

The man she spoke to finally looked, eyeing her briefly.

"I wish to speak with her," Zander stated.

"Her!?" Gracey snapped. Zander turned to the ghost, and the master of the estate wilted. Though the man he knew as Maxwell Orvas made no negative expression, such a cold stare could only bring danger if challenged. Gracey nodded and snapped his fingers.

Wendy, struggling to remove herself from the binds yelped as the chains above her extended, growing long and longer as the chandelier approached the floor with controlled vigilance. Finally she lurched to a stop, her red hair falling past her face. Zander strolled past Edward Gracey and Mabel, and found himself towering over Wendy, who looked up, her green eyes peering past her red.

"Zander, get me outta here, man," she pleaded quietly. The eyes she got from him were... deadly cold. Though fear did not become her, her throat instinctively tightened, and she gulped. "Hey, Zander?" she asked.

His hand snapped out like lightning, and Wendy found his vice grip around her jaw. She gasped and cringed, feeling her muscles ache at his very touch. He pulled himself closer, that terrible gaze in his eyes.

"Are you possessed?" she managed, trembling terribly. "Zander?"

Then he moved his head past her face and whispered in her ear.

"Wendy, stay calm and quiet," he said firmly. "They can't possess other undead like you. There only thing that you could fear is what they would do to you should you antagonize them."

She tried looking towards him, yet cringed when she still found his grip on her similar to steel.

"I'm going to find them," he said quietly, "and we're going to get this all figured out. I may have a solution to rescuing Mabel," he said, and leaned back just far enough to peer back into her eyes, "but I need you in once piece. Got it? I need some playing pieces on the field that can't be effected by possession as well," he said, and stepped back in front of her, and then snarled, his green eyes flashing with the most imposing presence Wendy had ever felt. "Got it?!" he snapped loudly.

Wendy was stunned. He was playing the ghosts, right in front of them somehow. Wendy had seen them peering into the minds of her friends, and yet... they were watching him with a look of approval. They thought he was being genuine with his talk to her, 'being threatening'. If that were the case, Zander certainly was good at fooling Wendy then. Yet she trembled.

"Zander, how... how are you tricking them?" she asked.

His hand then shot agian, moving from her jaw to at the top of her neck. She gasped and leaned back. Though she felt the iron grip of his hand, he did not... squeeze.

"Answer me, girl," he threatened.

"Uh..." Wendy gulped, "yes?"

Zander then let his hand go, a cruel smile crossing his face. "Very good," he said, and turned away, his cloak billowing behind him.

"My lord?" Constance asked, "what were you two talking about?"

"A matter of politeness among those of class," he said, "and the reasons why," Zander turned back, and looked to Wendy directly, "we act the way _we_ do."

Wendy's eyes widened as she was tugged back up, the chains above her shortening back to their natural length. Zander left her alone, surrounded by the ghosts of the ball room, back to their endless spinning and twirling.

"Well, men," Edward Gracey turned back to the three strange looking figures lurking above Wendy, "string her up."

"We can't posses her, sire," the shortest and hairiest of the three squawked.

"Then _literally_ string her up as a puppet!" Gracey barked. The three stumbled in the air, and began to wrap strings around Wendy, who stared at the still open doors to which Zander had exited.

Constance did as well. She stepped forward, patting her lips with a thoughtful stare. "I think it's time I put on my dress," she smiled.

"Dear?" Gracey asked over his shoulder.

"I think I've found my future husband," she smirked, her glowing blue orbs radiating like trails of smoke from the corners of her eyes.

* * *

CRASH.

SLAM.

BANG.

Three bodies slammed into the ground, deep within the basement of the Gracey Mansion. Splintering and crumbling of old boxes gave way to a collective of moans and groans from those who had just completed their fall. Darkness surrounded them; Dipper, Soos, and Stanford Pines. It smelled of rotting fabric and wet wood, and their groans and pained gasps echoed around them.

"I can only assume that one of you has a torch or flashlight of _some_ kind," Stanford Pines' voice called out in a pesky grumble.

"Hold on," Dipper mumbled, reaching inside his pocket. With a flick of his thumb, he opened the flapping screen of the phone, and engulfed their presence with light from his phone's background. "There, happy?!" he snapped, realizing he was still holding onto the broken chain that he had pulled from Mabel's neck.

"I've felt better, that's a fact," Ford smarmed.

"I've felt worse too!" Soos' muffled voice added. The handyman had landed head first through the largest box, his head inches from the tough stone. That very stone Dipper just jumped onto, hissing as he felt his back. Soos piped up again, "also, I could use some help, I think my everything is pinned in this box. Oh! Who's touching my ear? Are one of you two getting me out?"

"No," Ford said.

"I'm coming now, Soos," Dipper asked.

"Ack! Ghost!" Soos yelped inside the crate. "Oh, wait, never mind. Just a very large rat. Like I havn't seen your kind before, you silly little thing. Hey!" he snapped, "off the cap, dawg!"

With Fords somewhat reluctant help, Dipper was able to pull out Soos, and toss off a rat from his hat, which darted away.

They were inside a large, pitch black room of stone floor and a single stone wall to their side. Wooden, rotting crates with mildew and mold lay around them, some covered with fabric of older times, worn and faded in color.

Ford sat on one, and held his head in his palm. "The girl. You're kidding me. We let the girl come with us, and she was the one we had to worry about the most!" he snapped.

"Hey!" Dipper turned on a dime, pointing at him, "that 'girl' is my twin sister!"

"Clearly you are your sister are not as close as you'd like to defend, Dipper," Ford retorted.

"She- I- look- we-" Dipper clawed at his face, "we were dealing with Constance there!"

"Who?" Ford rolled his eyes, "or did you forgo to mention that your sister actually suffers from multiple-personality and each one has a unique set of powers?"

"No!" Dipper yelled.

"Constance is the spooky ghost daughter of the spooky ghost dad who runs this place," Soos explained, picking pieces and chips of wood out of his clothing.

Ford snapped. "Your sister was possessed! And here I thought everyone you knew was weird and strange."

Dipper and Soos stared at him. "Just how exactly are we weird and strange?" Dipper asked with venomous undertone. Ford cleared his throat.

"Well, for one, Dipper. The name. Odd choice for parents to call a child. So, odd. Then you," he pointed to Soos, "you're adorably adolescent and with a single-syllable name."

"Depends on how long you say it," Soos reasoned, "like, if you go Soooooooooooo-"

"Anyway," Ford turned back to Dipper, "see? Weird."

Dipper glared at him, resenting the admittance in his head. "Fine, whatever, we're a little weird. No more than you though," he added with bite.

"Exactly," Ford nodded, "now, since it's clear that your sister is possessed, we need to figure out a new plan of action."

"Like what?!" Dipper yelled. "The ghost that's possessing her is, like, probably the strongest I've seen in a long time!"

"Indeed. This Constance is easily categorized as a-"

"Level ten," the two said simultaneously. They looked to one another, and then Dipper broke eye-line, his cheeks red.

"How much of my content in my journal have you red?" Ford shot up.

"Enough to know about really good things," Dipper said, stepping closer with gusto, "and all the bad." Ford's face went slightly paler. He adjusted his glasses.

"We... I can explain anything you'd really like to know in more detail. I've told you my side of this maddening story, but right now, unless you'd rather us sit here in this rotting dungeon and mope," Ford pointed out, "which I'm fine with to an extent: I could find a new species. But we really should-"

"Get moving with a new plan, right," Dipper rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"Oh thank god," Soos sighed, "and here I was worried I would have to referee your conversations."

The two rounded on Soos. "What?" They asked.

"Well, you two are really good at bringing up counter-points. I felt like I could be a part of it if I kept track of score and kept you two within the rules," Soos shrugged.

"What rules?" Ford asked.

"Eh, I dunno. Stuff like, 'not shots below the belt' sort of thing," Soos said.

"Well, kid," Ford turned, "Dipper. You want to make a plan, I suggest you start somewhere."

Dipper turned, and looked around. Using the light of his phone, he spied for an end to their room. He did eventually find one: rows of vertical iron bars, all rusted and crusted with dust and wet ichors. Dipper found, approaching them, a crooken, broken door that had long since become impossible to close.

"Looks like Constance hasn't been down here in a long time if she dropped us down here," Dipper reasoned, moving the door with very squeaky hinge sounds. "Otherwise she probably wouldn't have sent us to a prison where the doors don't work."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ford chuckled, "a ghost has domain over all the area they died in. They don't just 'forget' things like that," he said.

"Hey, that's kind of weird actually," Soos pointed out. The two again looked back to him. After a moment of playing with his fingers worriedly as they watched him, he added, "well, because, all the ghost servants were fixing up the house, but this whole area is kind of gross still."

"You're right," Dipper gasped.

"Quite the observation," Ford added.

Soos smiled and shrugged to himself. "Just trying to help," he said, leaning on the broken, rusted door. It then swung aside, falling off with a loud clatter, sending Soos sprawling to the floor. With his face down on the hard ground, he lifted a hand up and said, "All good!"

"Right," Ford mumbled, and turned back to Dipper, "dealing with a level ten specter of this caliber is not going to be easy."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Dipper said.

"Well, since you asked," Ford cleared his throat.

"I wasn't being literal," Dipper interrupted, and Ford scowled, "I've already dealt with one before."

"Wait, _you_?" Ford asked.

"Yes."

"You've dealt with a level ten specter? Ghost?" Ford gasped. Dipper nodded. "Then we need to combine resources. They are much more difficult to remove than any other form of ethereal undead."

"From what our original plan was," Dipper explained, "there was a source that tied this whole island together. A curse. That changed when we found out about Edward Gracey."

"The ghost bashing the ward?" Ford asked, an eyebrow raised. He brought whis two middle fingers and scratched his jaw. "I don't think so."

"Really?" Dipper and Soos asked.

"Compared to the amount of capability we've seen, he is less threatening than his supposed daughter, this Constance," he reasoned. "She was able to sneak in our numbers and asses us as not even worthy to dispose by means of magic. Instead, she used some for of combat training she learned in her life and battled us with it, until-"

"No, that was all Mabel's training," Dipper sighed.

"I- wait really?" Ford gasped. Dipper nodded. "Your sister knows how to fight that much?" Dipper again nodded.

"Yeah, and I think she leaned how to eat, or punch fire," Soos said with excitement, "I totally need to see that still."

"As do I," Ford said, reaching for his jacket, and wincing. "Seriously!?" he asked to the ceiling, and then to Dipper, "I'd really prefer having my journals back."

Ignoring the two, Dipper stepped out of the room, and into a hallway contianing more of these rooms. There, Dipper stopped dead in his tracks. These rooms were not filled with boxes and crates, but with seven horribly decayed bodies.

"Guys?" Dipper called out.

Soos and Ford appeared a moment later, side by side with Dipper. Soos made an audible gasp and gagging sound, while Ford merely hummed.

"Seven bodies," he noted. "Each with a notable missing feature," he pointed out.

"Yeah, their heads," Dipper groaned. He looked back to them, aware of the clean cut nature of the skeletons left behind- their severed neck. "This is the work of Gracey," Dipper quietly said, holding his phone out as a source of light.

"Odd that this whole thing should be started by true love," Ford mumbled.

"These are Constance's husbands," Dipper decided, "in Gracey's Journal-"

"You have more people's journals?" Ford gasped. "What are you, some sort of journal hog?"

Dipper glared at him for a short moment, and then continued with his verbal thought. "In Gracey's Journal, he stated that he helped his daughter hide and stash away the bodies of her husband, and how he gained great wealth for their family ties. This has to be them!" Dipper gasped.

"But why aren't they the ones stuck here, haunting the place?" he asked. "Shouldn't they be all 'raawrr, I'm a mad ghost, dawg' and stuff?" he asked.

At the end of the hall, in similar fashion to a response, the darkened doorway flashed with a sickly green light. All three stared at it, their eyes wide in shock. The light began to pulse steadily, in similar pace to a heartbeat.

"Well... how about nope, we're finding a secret passage that leads out," Dipper said, and tried turning around.

"An investigator never turns down a chance at learning something new," Ford noted, adjusted his glasses, and pressed forward. Soos huffed his cheeks out, rolled up his short sleeves, twisted his cap around, and stormed forward.

"Okay, fine," Dipper pouted, turned around, and walked forward with them.

Passing each of the seven bodies with a grimace, Dipper made pace with his two companions. Dust falling away from the pulses of light, the three found themselves stepping through a door less hallway, to a large circular room. A single small table with a draped cloth sat in the center, a ball made of glass or crystal sitting on a small pedestal. The image within the crystal ball seemed to be tangles of something dark and grey, flowing effortlessly around.

"Huh. Crystal ball," Dipper noted, "very haunting."

"I wonder if a spirit is attempting to make contact with us," Ford noted, and approached. Dipper shot out a hand, holding him back. "What?" Ford demanded.

"Unless there's something already waiting for us, we probably shouldn't draw attention to us by trying to call for spirits to-"

Dipper cut himself off, and became speechless. The other two stared as well, watching the ball in the center of the table as it picked itself off the table, floating mid-air. The table too lifted itself, becoming off-center and lifted with the gentlest of breezes. The tangles and mesh inside the crystal slowly turned away, rotating away to the three's right as a face came into view. Green and pale, with dark eyes that seemed to delve into the abyss itself, a sharp womanly face glared at the three.

"Oh. Hi," Soos said, curtly raising and lowering a hand.

The ghost in the crystal ball spoke, her voice trembling with power and dominance that echoed in the circular room.

_"To this chamber, question come unbound, for Madam Leota, rightly you've found. The ties of gone, the ribbons of yet, the things seen here leave many in cold sweat. Speak not now, for your eyes I do read, darkness and danger grown from a seed. Of a curse long unrehearsed the story you'll traverse_, _for this seer will immerse listeners with bad or worse._"

At the end of her haunting passage, Dipper and Ford stared at her, their mouths drooped out and open. Soos nodded slowly.

"Right. So, like, Madam Lion-eta," he said, "can you, like, tell us how to get out of here?"

The face, with sharp, thick brows frowned at him. She then jerked her head in a small tilt.

"_There's a door behind me that's locked. Break it down, and take your first left. Stairs at the end of the hallway_," she grumbled.

"Aww, thanks," Soos said, and started that way. Ford and Dipper yelped and yanked him back. "What?" he asked.

Dipper stepped closer. "Madam... Leota, was it?" he asked. The face softened, and she looked to him, hovering just a foot above his own height. "You said you'd seen in our eyes a curse."

The face felt soft. "_Aye, a curse from seven a hearse that you wish to disperse_," she said, her lyrical speaking returned, "_for I know the pains and woes, the remains below, and that you'd otherthrow_."

"You'd help us with this curse?" Ford asked, stepping closer. The head nodded. "Why?"

"_ To grasp the why and the reasons how, you must hear the story that I shall sow. For this tale comes from a mansion's plight and the sadness that calumniated into one fateful night_," she explained.

"So, like, I get that you're a master Shakespearian writer and stuff," Soos quickly stated, "but I'm not following. Can you, like, talk somewhat normal?"

"Eh, it would probably be fast if you just did," Ford shrugged.

"...I like the rhymes," Dipper quietly mumbled.

Looking at the three before her with a disappointed glare, the specter rolled her eyes. "_Fine_," she grumbled. "_I'll speak with little grace I can. I've been here for a while, gentlemen, sorry if I've spent my time here practicing to speak like a real champ and you can't handle me_."

"Sorry," Soos waved at her, "didn't meant to ruin your groove."

"_Whatever_," she mumbled, and blew some hair out of her face, "_not like I'll have anyone else to tell my clever lyrics to_." She then looked back to Dipper and Ford.

She spoke again, this time, sans the rhyming. "_Over one hundred and seventy years ago, Constance Gracey was born to this family. In her birth, her mother became Ill. For nearly ten years, Edward Gracey battled to have his wide and Constance's mother recover, but the disease took it's foothold_."

"He was rich, wasn't he?" Ford gasped, "he'd surely had the wealth to-"

"_The wealth of the family only came after Gracey's Wife died. Her death spurned him to work harder than ever before. He became a prominent, up and rising business man with the help of sympathetic and accomplished others. With his rise to fame, his daughter, Constance, grew more and more beautiful and lovely, and demanded to be married off. When Edward Gracey agreed, disaster struck soon after the marriage_."

The three gasped and jumped as an axe fell nearby the floating table, imbedded into the ground.

"Wow," Soos whistled, "good story telling."

"Thank you," she mumbled, "would be better if I could... anyway," she sighed, "the first husband was slain. His namesake and family name, forever followed Constance: Hachetaway. For his death and vanishing began the stain on the Gracey family," she explained.

"_Not once_," the ghost Leota said, and another hatchet fell," _not_ _twice_," yet another hatchet fell, _"but six more times did this occur. For reasons I do not know, these deaths meant little to both the father and his daughter. Finally, one night, a party was held in the guise of raising funding for the family, which began to lose many of it's constituents, and in the false promise to reward Constance her true love and final husband_."

"Jeesh, you'd think after the third, people would get the idea," Dipper said, pocketing his hands.

"_These arranged marriages were for wealth and family connections. But yes, by the last of these promised marriages, people no longer wished to be betrothed to Constance. From my experience, Constance and her father got into a terrible, party-witnessed shouting match. She then, one hundred and fifty years ago, came here, to me_," the ghostly orb announced.

"To you?" Ford asked, "why?"

"_I was the family trusted seer. I imparted wisdom to them. After all, this dungeon was once much more than... well, the dungeon it is now. It had flowers and some nice curtains, and a little candle next to my orb here_," the Ghost Leota looked down the table, "_see? Right there? I can still see a little where the wax melted. I miss that little red candle_."

"Keep on track, please," Dipper grumbled.

"_Fine, fine. I imparted my wisdom to her. Saying that these rushed marriages, and expecting them to be anything other than what they were initially would bring the girl only sadness. She then asked me to scry. I remember... beginning my fortune telling. When I awoke later, I was no longer for this world. My head and body, severed, and an axe-_" a final axe fell before them with a thick thud, on the table, "_-bedside my decapitated body._"

"She killed you?!" Dipper gasped.

"_In her rage, she refused whatever answers I told her that night. For when I scry, I only see and speak, but cannot hear myself. Not until I am finished. For I warned her_," Leota shook her head sadly, "_though I blame myself for what it brought, I warned her the danger of expecting true love from thin air_."

"True love from thin air?" Ford asked.

Dipper looked away, putting his hands in his vests's pockets. "I, uh, see where you're coming from."

"The _girl, ever since her mother's death, saw the sight of true love as her escape. She dreamed of finding her prince, who would sweep her off her feet. Her father, I believed, used her wishes to his companies aid, and brought her husbands. When a husband and her would not work well_," Leota shuddered, "_then the buried anger from her mother's death would surface, and the man would... lose a very important limb_."

"The head," Ford noted with a crinkled nose.

"Really!?" Soos gasped. "I thought it was, uh," he pulled his legs together tightly, "something else."

"_The night that came from my meeting with Constance felled the rest of the fates. Constance poisoned the entire party, all of the hundreds of guests, and then herself when she found her father watching his friends die. After her own death, he hung himself from one of the chandeliers. That night left a stain on this land, removing it from the world_," Leota explained, "_something now that is becoming unfurled. Oops_-" she winced, "_rhymed again. Sorry, my bad_."

The buzzing in Dipper's head, hearing all the information at once. He reached inside his jacket, and pulled out a pink shaded journal he had collected. On the spine read 'Miss Constance'. His teeth gritted together, Dipper managed, "This... this is all Constance's fault."

"Well, I mean, it's no one person's fault, Dipper," Soos chuckled, "I mean, if she was so dedicated to finding true love, and her father used that to marry people, he didn't really help? And even Leota here," he said, and the ghost gasped and glared at him, "didn't help by, well, being blunt with her."

"_Hey_," Constance simmered, "_I was just doing my job, okay_?"

"While I understand your anger, Dipper," Ford piped up, "Soos here is correct."

"Really?" Dipper, Soos, and Leota all asked.

"Yes," Ford nodded, "this is not a time to place blame, but to work now with our new information! It's not everything, but we now have motive! The '_why_'! With this, we can work against the reasoning why a level ten ghost is remaining in the material world, and fight it on a psychological front, instead of an arcane one!"

"I got none of that," Soos sighed with resignation.

"Soos, he's saying that we may be able to convince the ghost by talking to it now that we have this information," Dipper explained.

"Oh! That's good!" Soos nodded.

"Yes, it is," Ford nodded.

"_Well, I'm soo glad I could help, but if you'll need a rhyming phrase, just give me a yelp_," Leota rolled her eyes, and spun around, shrinking away with a swirl into a small black dot in the center of her crystal ball. The magical ball rested down onto the table, and the wind fell away as the table came gently to the ground.

Soos nudged Ford. "I think you made her upset."

From the door across the room, there was a heavy thud. The three looked across the room to the door.

"Something's coming," Dipper hissed, and looked to the others, "quick! To the door! We'll catch it by surprise."

As quietly as they could, they passed around the now silent and darkening crystal ball. Dipper came to next to the door, as Ford approached the other side with Soos. On each of the walls, they listened. Footsteps were coming closer.

"Okay. Soos, I'll go first. Ford, uh," Dipper looked to Ford as he whispered, "you have anything you can put into a fight?"

"Ah, I have a thing I may be able to use," he said. With his eyes closed, he mumbled under his breath, and two lights began to glow on his knuckles. "Good to go," he said.

"Right," Dipper's eyes lingered on Ford for a moment before looking to Soos, "when we go at whatever is in there, then it's your turn. Body slam, grab it and don't let go, whatever you think is appropriate."

"Whatever I think is appropriate, got it," Soos nodded, adjusting his cap.

Dipper closed his eyes. It was time again. They had been caught off guard before, but not again. They were alone, with their backs at a metaphorical wall. With nothing really left to surprise them, it was now or never. Dipper shoved open the door and rushed out. He met a shadowy figure with billowing black strands in the hallway.

Dipper roared and lunged at it, punching forward.

It glided aside, and pushed him past, throwing Dipper to the floor.

As he landed and groaned, Dipper felt a wave of nostalgia. "Wait!" Dipper gasped, and turned, "Zander?!" The person looked back to Dipper, and Dipper saw the face he recognized.

"Taste Lightning hands!" Ford roared, rushing forward, and pointing his six fingers on each hand at Zander. Booming blasts of lightning shot forward. Zander spun away, running up half the wall, kicking off, and landing next to a stunned Ford as his attack entirely missed. Ford was helpless as Zander spun, kicked the man's feet out from underneath him, grasped his airborne foot, and slammed him against a wall.

Zander then turned to Soos, who was standing in the hallway, watching the action go down at a distance.

"High five," Soos said, offering a hand. Zander gave him a high five. "Yush! Your plan worked for me, Dipper!" Soos cheered.

Ford grumbled as he lay on the floor, stumbled to get back on his feet. As he did, Zander Maximillion stormed past Dipper and to Ford's feet. His gloved hand reached at to the collar of Ford's shirt, and lifted him up and slammed him against the wall.

"Zander, what are you-" Dipper started, pushing himself up. He watched in shock as Zander removed his scarf from his neck and cast it aside while in his grip. It went rigid and became... spear like. Then, holding the weapon before him, he pointed it to Ford's neck.

Ford gulped, and adjusted his glasses. "Ah, yes, well," Ford stammered, "I would like to first state how much of a pleasure it is to meet someone with as much fighting talent as you. Ah, perhaps if you'd let me down-"

"Sorry," Zander grumbed, "I don't work with magic users."

"Wait!" Dipper rushed in between them shoving aside Zander's weapon. "Don't hurt him."

"Don't get in the way, Dipper," Zander warned him, "this man is dangerous."

"No! Listen to the kid! Dipper is right!" Ford nodded.

"You don't get a say in this," Zander grumbled.

Ford glared. "I feel like I should get a say in this."

"Hmm," Zander rolled his eyes, "let's say who should get a say in this matter: the guy pinned to a wall, or they guy holding a weapon to the guy who's pinned against a wall? Boy, I wonder," Zander snickered, slowly re-adjusting the weapon at Ford's face.

"Well, uh, when you put it like that," Ford gulped.

"Zander, please," Dipper asked.

Zander looked down to Dipper. Eyes meeting again, this time Dipper held back his bitterness and anger towards this man of lies and secrets. He wanted Ford around. He had answers to many of Dipper's questions: and unless Dipper risked delving deeply into the magic of necromancy, he wouldn't be getting those answers with Ford dead.

Slowly, Zander lowered his weapon.

"Dipper, he cast an offensive magic towards me," Zander calmly stated.

"Nothing offensive about it!" Ford debated.

"Offensive as in 'intended to do harm'," Zander barked heatedly.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, true," Frod shrugged.

"You know that those that cast magic aren't to be trusted," Zander reminded him. Ford gasped and shook his head.

"What anti-magical sentiments! What sort of bias do you get to hold towards me?" he remarked.

"The kind of bias where those who use magic typically grow to become Magical-dependant," Zander retorted.

Ford spluttered. "Ridiculous! Absolutely nonsense! All that 'magically dependant' stuff is just wives tales from Knights and witch-hunters back in the day to scare off people who would have otherwise delved into the arcane arts," Ford defended.

Zander made to approach him, but Dipper pushed back, straining at Zander's impressive forward strength.

"Zander, I called you here with a spell, didn't I?" Dipper dared to ask. Zander stepped back, looking at Dipper with a fixed stare. "C'mon, do I look, uh, magically-dependant?" he asked. "He's just trying to help us now."

Zander slowly nodded. "Fair. Dipper, look, I'm okay with something as small as that. Sending is a very basic, simple spell that has little consequence to either the caster or target, but small things like that are the gateway spell that got people spell-dependant hundreds of years ago."

"Such a wives-tale," Ford huffed.

As Zander glared at Ford, Dipper cleared his throat. "Ahem, Zander, this is Stanford Pines," Dipper said slowly.

Ford smirked. "I thought I saw a similarity to that old man. So, is he Stanley's son?"

"Twin brother, thank you very much," Ford replied.

Zander's mouth dropped open. "No," he barely whispered, staring with wide eyes at the man before him.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Ford grinned, eating every inch of shock from the man before him, "and clearly the more organized and capable brother."

"Stanley Pines was in his mid-sixties," Zander stated, "and you barely look past thirty five. How?!" he snapped, lurching forward, nearly shoving Dipper aside. "What magic did you-"

"I was thrown into a failed trans-dimensional portal that instead seemed to destroy the town of Gravity Falls and sent me thirty years into the future!" Ford gasped, pushing himself against the wall, threatened by the advances of Zander.

Zander slowly leaned back. After a moment, he looked to Dipper. "He is your family, right?"

"Yup," Dipper sighed.

"You'll want to update him soon. Let him know what happened to Gravity Falls isn't his fault," he somberly said. Finally, he turned away from the frightened scientist and researcher, who slumped partially against a wall. After a moment of silence, Zander looked to Soos, who smiled at him. "You hanging it there, big guy?" Zander asked.

"Heh, fell like fifty feet onto a rotten wooden crate. But mostly got splinters," Soos said, holding out a hand covered in short, bristly splinters.

Zander snorted, his smile coming back to his face. He turned back to Dipper, daring a glance to the man behind him. "Dipper, we need to talk about what's happening."

"Yeah!" Dipper nodded, and approached, "this whole thing is way worse than I expected."

"So these ghosts," Zander said, nodding for them to follow, "they're all looking for a wedding for true love."

"Constance Hachetaway, formerly Constance Gracey," Dipper explained as he and Soos rapidly followed, leaving a still shaken up Ford behind them, "is the one behind this. She and her father have gone through seven husbands, each of them dead because of them, and now they want another."

"To get this supposed happily ever after?" Zander asked.

"That's the idea," Soos shrugged, "wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't, you know, killed like seven dudes before."

"That's the least of our concerns," Zander sighed.

"What?" Dipper snapped.

Zander closed his eyes. "This is going to become a curse if we don't stop it."

"It already is a curse," Dipper argued. Zander slowly shook his head, and Dipper's confidence waned. "It's... not?"

Ford piped up. "A severe haunting and a curse are of the same school. The major difference is how the energy is attached. Curses effect the living, while haunting are effected by the un-living."

"Exactly," Zander glared at Ford as he agreed, and then looked to Dipper again, "this whole thing has just been a haunting. Ghosts tend to stay in one place. The most powerful, as my experience has taught me, really stick to one neck of the woods."

"But poltergeists?" Dipper asked.

"Moderately frightening ghosts, sure," Ford argued, "but still not the level tens we're dealing with here."

"This power of this Constance Hachetaway has been empowering the darkness on this land, and now the waters around it," Zander grumbled. "But she's possessed Mabel. I spoke with them both, earlier," he admitted, and Dipper gasped.

"Mabel?" he asked with a tremble in his voice.

"She's still in here, thankfully. But not doing well," Zander shook his head. "The power and emotions of Constance may be overwhelming her to a point of exhaustion. If we don't stop her soon enough, Mabel may be permanently pushed into a corner of her mind, even if we do exorcise Constance from her body."

"What?!" Dipper shouted.

Zander put his hands on Dipper shoulders. "She has time. But that time is limited. The real problem happens should Constance realize that she may not find what she seeks here, in this old home. My guess," Zander stepped away, staring at the hallway from whence he came, "is her power alone animates these specters and other undead. She's powerful enough that should she, in Mabel's body leave, she could leave this land behind. The energy she had would corrupt the world around her, slowly killing Mabel's mind while leaving her immortal."

"No," Ford gasped, "a ghost of that power wondering the world in search of true love, when the mind of the ghost is that far bent, could be catastrophic!"

"Exactly," Zander said, "but that's far down the road. We have to save Mabel first."

"Okay," Dipper said, marching ahead," talk while we walk, please?" he barked. Zander obliged him, as well did Soos and Ford. "How do we stop this?"

"A ghost this powerful will need to be beaten in one of two ways: either a more powerful source of power similar to it, such as... ugh, magic," Zander grumbled, "or another undead, or we have to convince it that what it stays in our world for is not worth undeath."

"True love?!" Dipper gasped, "we have to convince a ghost bent on love that 'true love' isn't worth the afterlife?" Zander rolled his eyes. "Man, we couldn't even do that with _Mabel_, let alone Constance!"

"So, what, hope there's an even more powerful undead just hiding around here somewhere?" Soos asked.

Zander grumbled. "Good luck finding it. These ones on this island are over a hundred and fifty. You'd need to find one that is much older, or even more bitter and wrathful than Constance," he explained.

"So that's probably a no, then," Soos admitted.

"But we have to have some sort of plan," Dipper asked.

"Yes, I think we do," Zander said.

"Yes?" the three asked. Zander smiled as they exited the hall and entered an large set of stairs that lead upwards, towards a distant lamp light.

"Constance is under the impression that this night she will find that true love of hers," Zander explained. "If we can get close to her, there is a good chance that in her distraught nature, we can plant the seeds of doubt and-"

Zander paused, looking above him suddenly. His face read stunned and upset, and so Dipper also turned quickly and then also felt the same.

Mabel was far above them, wearing a fitting wedding dress with pearls and white lace. She stared down at them, a blue glow in her eyes visible at their distance. Soos gulped as he looked up, but slowly raised his hand. "Hey, Mabel. Or, uh, Constance. Whichever, dawg."

"Mister Orvas," Constance's voice asked timidly, "what is the meaning of this?"

"Constance," he calmly said, yet Dipper sensed the tension in his body as he stiffened.

"I followed you here after I became changed," she admitted, "thought I would surprise you with my dress."

"It is beautiful," Zander quickly said.

"But you were fooling me," she said, a vein in Mabel's temple throbbing.

"No Constance, I-"

"You were never actually going to return to me as a dancer, a friend, or a lover!" she snapped, her clenched fist striking the wooden handrail. Ghostly blue energy flooded out form the handrail, spreading around her until it faded away as residual energy. "You lied to me!"

"Constance, please understand me," Zander said, "these people and I, we're not truly here to stop you from getting what you want."

"They are!" she shouted, clutching down on the railing as she stared down on them. "They've tried stopping my wedding once already!"

"A misunderstanding," Ford attempted to soften the tension.

"You lie!" Constance roared, and again smashed her fists down on the railing.

The blue energy streaked through the woodwork, animating it. Slowly, the light behind her darkened, and the stairways began to shift and turn. The four on the bottom gasped as the floor behind them gave away. A void of darkness and, to their shock, more stairs came into view. Parts of the walls around them faded from sight, leaving a starry space-like landscape filled with twisting, turning, inverting stairs.

"An illusion!?" Dipper asked.

"It's more complicated a magic than that, I think," Ford answered.

"If you, Mister Maxwell," Constance said with Mabel's body and mouth, "truly think you wish to amend for this betray and mean your best, find me in the ball room, if you can. Whether or not it is you, I _will_ find my true love."

"Constance, don't leave us like-" Zander barked.

The woman was gone, turning away to leave the trails of a wedding dress behind her.

"I just want to point out how weird it is seeing my sister in a wedding dress when she's only fifteen," Dipper said with a dead voice.

"Come on!" Zander shouted, having them begin to climb the first stairs.

Half way up it, it began to shift. The landing was torn away, as stonework and framing split and crumbled into the void. The three grasped onto the railing, but Zander merely looked around. Above them, another stairs loomed ahead. Placing one foot on a railing, he pushed up and grasped onto the stairs above him.

"Zander!" Dipper shouted, watching the man climb up the stairs by hoisting himself up the hand railing. "We're not as secret-agent as you!"

"There!" Zander shouted, using one hand to hold himself up as he pointed. Dipper looked, and there was a soon-to-be parallel staircase to their own, coming up to them from behind. "Jump to it!" Zander shouted.

"How do you know that's a good idea or not!?" Ford shouted, barely able to hold onto his own rail. "I have the feeling that some of these are not, in fact, real!"

"Trust me!" Zander shouted.

"I tried that once, and you ruined it!" Dipper shouted at Zander with venom.

Zander turned and fully looked at him. "Dipper, if the time comes when I put myself in the line of danger to prove to you that I'm not always lying and I do it, would you finally trust me?"

Dipper stared up at Zander, blinking. Slowly, looking to the stairs, and then back to the hanging man, he nodded. Zander groaned, and with two very quick rocks back and forth, he tossed himself towards the floating staircase coming to them. He landed on the railing-less staircase with a roll, and ended up right before Soos and Dipper.

"Let's go," Zander said, standing and holding a hand to the two of them.

Soos, Dipper, and Ford climbed onto the strange staircase, and made their way up it. Dipper, cursing himself mentally for allowing himself to be naive enough to think that something as simple as that could justify trusting him, followed Zander up the stairs. After a moment, Dipper realized that they were actually climbing up a set of stairs upside down.

But then Dipper felt vertigo, and his hair stood on end.

"Oh no," Dipper said, and stayed put.

Zander was lightning fast to turn and grab onto Dipper as he suddenly fell upwards. Ford gasped and also lurched out to grab Dipper, holding him down.

"What the heck is happening!?" Dipper demanded.

"This is a trap of the mind," Zander explained, "an enchantment! It's not just an illusion, but also reads your mind. If you think to much about it, you'll be drawn into it's own reality," he said, and with his free hand he waved around, "and would you want that, Dipper?"

Dipper looked around hard. The void of this haunting, dark space seemed infinite. Stairs crisscrossed and looped around one another like and endless three dimensional maze that never had an ending. He then closed his eyes, and remembered that it was just a lie. He should be standing with those below him. Then he fell down, and landed next to the three.

"That was... ugh," Dipper shook his head.

"You okay dude?" Soos asked. Dipper nodded.

"Let's keep going!" Zander declared, and turned, running up the stairs.

The set of stairs Zander had them climb passed a strange sight- a set of still half-faded wall. The wallpaper was still visible, but glowing. As they ran past it and took the corner turn that lead them up still, the wall paper revealed itself to be sets of eyes belonging to large bats. The bats dislodged themselves from the walls, and chased after them, attempting to nip and tear at their backs, necks, and ears.

"Ow! Ah! C'mon!" Ford said, "I do not need one of your many diseases today!"

"Dude, I really hope this isn't what Batman puts up with every day," Soos mentioned, swatting away the bats with his arms, "because he's even more a hero if that's the case."

"There!" Zander pointed, fast enough to avoid the bats and still remain ahead of the group.

The end of the stairs was in sight. They had made it to the landing that lead to the hallways. Zander took to the element of rushing, and leapt the remaining thirty feet, skidding to a halt in the hallway.

"Wow! He can do that?" Ford gasped.

"Among other things," Dipper breathily said, climbing after them. A bat slammed into his face, and he coughed. "Ow! Off you flying rodent!" he shouted, tossing the squeaking animal behind him.

"Dipper, that's hardly appropriate. Please be biologically accurate," Ford scoffed.

Arriving to the hallway, Dipper, Ford, and Soos found themselves with Zander, who was again stunned. The paintings of the walls were coming to life.

As if the paintings themselves wanted to free themselves from their borders, the images contorted and warped themselves, going from elaborate and beautiful to frightening and terrible. They pushed their way like bulges against canvas, slowly tearing at their confining fabric.

"Okay, more things we should probably run from," Soos pointed out.

"Let's go then!" Zander shouted, and darted ahead.

"Easy for you to say, speed demon!" Dipper shouted.

Zander stopped dead in his tracks, some twenty feet ahead. "Don't call me a demon," he said darkly.

Dipper continued to run, but a registration clicked in his head. That was one of the few times Dipper had ever seen Zander get visibly and instantly upset from something Dipper had said. Dipper would have wanted to ponder and think as to why demon was so important to him, but as he looked around and saw a now half-human half-cat creature clawing it's way out of a painting, Dipper figured his own questions could come another time.

"Fine, sorry," Dipper growled.

"They're chasing us, dudes!" Soos shouted.

"We won't be able to get into the ball room with a horde of animated paintings following us!" Dipper shouted.

"Then we need to get them off our trail," Zander said.

They were exiting the hallway, and Dipper recognized where they were. "The entrance hall!" he gasped. Turning around, he saw the second floor, and then below it, the three hallways, one of which had Soos, and on his trail, several angered paintings. He recalled the middle hallway, and how it would lead right to the ballroom.

He called out, looking at Soos. "Soos! You know that plan Mabel and I do a lot with you and Wendy?"

"Divert and conquest?" Soos asked.

"Basically!" Dipper nodded.

"Roger. You and Zander? Me and Ford?" Soos askd.

"Yeah!" Dipper nodded.

"Okay! Come on this way, Mister Ford!" Soos suggested, pulling on Ford's arm to move down the far left hallway. "We're going to divert and conquest!"

"You mean divide and conquer!" Ford roared in exasperation.

"C'mon Dipper," Zander said, moving down the hallway.

Dipper made to follow, keeping pace-

And then, once more, the world seemed to flip on him. He shot backwards and was thrown high into the air, screaming for help. "HEY! WOAH!" he yelled, watching as underneath him, the paintings rushed past, towards Soos and Ford.

"Dipper, what-" Zander rushed back, and gasped.

Dipper saw him looking past him, and he managed to look around him to the source that levitated him.

Wendy was there, holding onto his shirt collar. Wrapped around all her limbs, joints, and major muscle groups were bundles of thin wires, hoisted by three blue ghosts of varying size and shape.

"Wendy, no!" Dipper gasped.

"I can't help it Dipper, they're all controlling me now," she strained, trying to pull herself away from Dipper. Instead, the ghosts all sighed at once, and together had Wendy hurl Dipper forward. From his tall height, Dipper soared into the hallway on the second floor with a crash, flopping several times on the ground before stalling to a stop.

"Ow," he grumbled.

"Dipper!" Zander's voice called out. "Hey!"

"Zander, go!" Dipper shouted, "I'll be okay!"

"You sure?" the voice called.

Dipper rolled his eyes. Of all the times for this thing, for Zander to be protective, this felt appropriate, but Dipper wanted none of it. "I said I'll be fine!" he shouted.

No reply came from his distance, only the sound of a dash and patter of feet. Zander had taken up Dipper's word, and run for the finish line without him. Dipper wouldn't let him get there alone. His sister was going to need him, now more than ever.

He stood up, adjusting himself with each stumble as he felt the impact of his throw rack his body. Then he turned, and found the three ghosts lowering Wendy closer to him.

"Let go of her!" Dipper growled.

"Sorry, boy," the short one sighed heavily, "orders are orders."

"And your orders are to have her, what, tied up?" Dipper demanded.

"Exact words, actually," Wendy grumbled, "are you okay?" she asked, "I didn't hurt you did-"

"Wendy if I get hurt, it's not your fault," Dipper reminded her. "You can't control yourself now. It's these three goons."

"Goons!?" the tallest said.

"You what, mate?!" the other snapped.

"I say we let 'im get a fist or two!" the smallest agreed, and Wendy was hurled towards Dipper, the ragdoll on strings she had become now a bludgeoning weapon.

Dipper side-stepped her, looking at the strings. All he had to do was break them, and their connection would be lost. Or so he hoped- but he had to dive again- like a yo-yo, they whipped Wendy backwards and threw her at Dipper with a punch aimed at his face.

Dipper rolled past Wendy and ran forward, towards the ball. Like this, with a controlled Wendy being used as a semi-battering ram, he wouldn't be able to do a thing to help his sister. He needed to free her.

"Wendy, did they use any magic to bind you to all that?" Dipper asked suddenly.

"No!" she grunted, "just a whole lot-" she was lurched forward, forcing Dipper to side-step her," ack! Sorry!"

"A whole lot of string?" he asked.

"Yes!" she snapped, and was laid to the ground, and made to run after him, leap up, and kick out at him in some macabre karate. "Stop me dude!" Wendy demanded.

"Sorry!" Dipper said and retaliated. He grabbed he leg, and pivoted. Throwing her aside, the ghosts all gasped as they were pulled along for the ride, being thrown down the hallway.

"That boy has some fight in him," the middle ghost and tallest mentioned as he started to climb out of the pile he and his accomplices had created.

"Some fight? Try all bark and no bite!" the other, with a doctors hat grumbled, "he still hasn't tried freeing the girl from-" the three looked over to Dipper, who had run over to Wendy, still on the ground with the tangle of wires around her. He had found a knot, and started to undo it. "Oi! Hands of the lady!"

The three ghosts floated back up, and threw Wendy into the air, knocking Dipper off her.

"Dang it!" Dipper yelled, rolling back onto his feet as he tumbled. "Why are you so tied to Constance!?" he shouted at them.

"What you mean, lad?" the smallest asked, eyeing Dipper with suspicion.

"Look, if Constance really is the kind of person who would just forgive things, do you really think she'd just let you all go if she got what she wanted?" Dipper asked them. "This whole haunting started because she took out her anger on all of you! You… just who were you again?" he asked them, aware of their odd looks.

"Eh, just hitchhikers," the tall one shrugged.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "Right. Look, I think I can stop you have to let me try!"

"What?" the doctor barked.

"I dunno, it's sounds off," the smallest said, looking to his companions. The tallest was silent, his mostly skeletal appearance barely registerable for emotion. The doctor shook his head.

"We've all tried getting Constance to settle! To calm! She refused. For over a century and a half she hasn't budged on anything! This is the first chance we've got to get her on the move, and we can't just waste it!"

"But at our cost!?" Dipper yelled, "at my sister's chance for a normal life?!"

"What you mean?" the doctor ghost asked, "she's just possessing your sister until the wedding is over."

"With who!? Dipper demanded. "Who will she marry that will make her really satisfied?!" Dipper urged them, stepping closer, aware as they dangled Wendy, who listened to Dipper closely. "She's already married seven men before, and _beheaded_ each one!"

"She did not!" the smallest one gasped.

"That's just a rumor!" the doctor said dismissively.

"It's not! I've seen the bodies! In the basement, where Constance throws away all the people she can just get rid of!" Dipper yelled.

"You're just lying to us, boy!" the doctor said, and swung his fist through the air, making Wendy lurch forward. The redhead dived forward and lifted Dipper off his feet as he tried to block her. Throw into a door and tossed into a balcony, he slammed into and bent a metal railing. His back ached worse than ever, and from his grip, the keychain fell forward as did the journal he had found earlier.

As stairs born and died in his vision and the world swam like oil and water mixing poorly, Dipper stared at the key and the journal.

They had the same faded pink paint.

Dipper reached forward and snatched the journal, and turned the spine to him again. He read aloud, "Constance Hatchet away, and the key to her journal," Dipper gasped, and grasped the key, and placing inside the lock along the pages. It opened with a snap, and Dipper saw the pages, pristine and as they had been left.

He barely had time to see into the journal himself before Wendy stepped onto the balcony, flanked by three ghosts.

"Any last words, boy?" the doctor asked, "that is, before we lob you off this here seat."

"He might make a nice ghost," the short one noted.

"Might," the doctor chuckled.

"Don't you dare throw Dipper anywhere!" Wendy shouted, putting more effort into her escape. It barely registered, but her movements became less subtle. Still, she was confined to their will.

"Last words?" Dipper said, and flipped to the last pages. "How about all of Constances?"

"Eh?" the four before Dipper asked.

Dipper read aloud, "This day, my father has promised me what I've always dreamed of- a proper husband! No longer do I need to pretend with mister Ramsey. I will be married to Jon Hachetaway! According to father, he's long since proclaimed his undying love for me, and is thrilled that I may now become his wife! Now, finally, I think I can my mother proud."

"How dare you read from a journal not belonging to yourself!" the short one barked.

Wendy groaned. "You have no idea, dude."

Dipper held out a hand. "Wait!" he flipped several pages. "This is only a half year later! 'Jon lied to me!' He lies to me and says that I am wife only so that our families are tied together legally. It has been five months since our wedding, and my fathers words to be patient are not working! Jon is a beastly creature, who cares not for love, nor my feelings. He teases and makes me feel so silly for speaking highly of love! Well, if he thinks love is silly, I'll show him! From a silly girl to a man with a silly last name, I'll make him remember to call me silly when I throw a hatchet at the brute!"

The three ghosts stared at Dipper.

"Oh," the doctor gasped.

"Heh, I always wondered why she had that thing with her axes," the smallest shrugged.

Dipper stood up fully and looked at them all. "I know it's scary, standing up to something that's meaner and angrier and more powerful than you. But this fear you've all had for her is probably why this curse _has_ lasted for over a century. This journal may be damning evidence, but was that really what it took to make you think that following her orders like this was… right?"

The middle ghost slowly shook his head.

"See?" Dipper pointed, "he gets me."

"What do we do, then?" the short one asked. "We just… leave?"

"I mean, bugger all, we could just go back to where we wanted to go," the doctor turned to the three, "New Orleans?"

"What, back on the road, just us three mates?"

The tall one grunted. "Don't see why not."

Simultaneously, the three dropped Wendy, and nodded to Dipper. "Thanks mate. Making us see straight," the doctor said, "and we're off to retire."

Dipper stared at them. Soos hadn't been wrong… again. "Yeah. Not a problem," he curtly nodded. As they floated effortlessly through the wall, Dipper rushed forward to Wendy. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," she mumbled. "Your back okay?"

"Yeah, for now," Dipper winked, and began to fiddle with the knots. Wendy jolted, shrugging him away. "Stay still," Dipper asked, "I'm getting you out."

"I'll be fine, Dipper," she said, "but you need to go!"

"Wendy, I'm not just going to-"

"Yes, you are!" she tried shoving him away, but in her knotted state, she fell aside, and lay still, something of a cocooned Corduroy. "Yeah. I'll be fine. Go save Mabel!"

Dipper chuckled, and stood. "Okay. Just be safe, okay?" he asked, and stepped over her.

"Right. I'll get in so much trouble here," she laughed after him, "you know, waiting until can become a beautiful Wendy-fly."

Dipper rushed through the hallway, the newest journal in his collection out.

He read through it all. The pain of this girl. Her absence of a mother for years, and then her father leaving her for work. His promises that if he could get her enough money, they could one day be happy again, and more like it. The frustrations that she could hear the stories of fantasy and true love, but never could find it herself.

She and her father played the game of victim and victimizer against one another over and over again. Who was to blame? Who was to pin with all the credit!?

_Well, I mean, it's no one person's fault, Dipper._

Soos' words rang in his mind.

He finally saw it, he understood it. Fault here got him no where against Constance. What she had already done was place blame- on her husbands, herself, and her father. She blamed and blamed and hated because of her blames. As Dipper placed away the journal, he decided what he would do.

The hallway came to an abrupt ending for an overlook for the entire ballroom. There, Dipper saw her- Mabel, or Constance, in the dress.

The entire ballroom had become split in two. Next to Mabel was Edward Gracey, and a clerical looking Ghost, holding a frail, barely together passage of some sort. Across the ballroom to them, stepping in with a heavy look behind him was Zander.

"Mister Orvas," Gracey called out, "my daughter informed me that your arrival would be significant."

"Uh, it is, sir," Zander gulped, and looked behind himself, down the hallway," just, uh, waiting for something."

"You needn't wait further, my lord," Gracey said, and indicated to his daughter with an open arm and hand, "she awaits you with love."

Zander looked once more down the hallway. Dipper, above him, wanted to call down, let him know he was here. Zander kept looking down, a frustrated, helpless look in his eye. When Dipper found no way of revealing himself that the floating ghosts throughout the room wouldn't spot, he suited to watching awkwardly.

Zander then turned, adjusting the scarf now resting on his neck, and he approached. Each step was a booming echo. Each brush of his cloak was a rustling of an entire forest. Finally, before the three, he bowed.

"Maxwell Orvas," Edward Gracey smiled ear to ear, "do you, in all your mental capacity, in all your current blessed soul," he said, and Zander squirmed, "care and love my daughter, Constance Hatchetaway Gracey, for all that you live?"

Dipper felt sick to see his sister looking at Zander the way she did. What was Zander going to do? He could try knocking out his sister and fleeing to find a place to exorcise her. But then the wrath of nine hundred and eighty eight spirits descend on them, well, maybe minus three or four who really could care less at this point.

Then the hairs on the back of Dipper's neck stood up as Zander kneeled.

"I… do," Zander said firmly.

Constance gasped, struggling to hold composure.

A fire of anger raged in Dipper. This wasn't right for either of them! Zander would never, just, marry someone, right? And this was Mabel! She would love to marry someone, but only on her terms! This was all forced, and all wrong!

"Now, Constance Hatchetaway Gr-"

"I do. I do, a hundred times I do," she said, brimming with joy and a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

Yet Dipper saw past the tears in her eyes. Not tears of joy from the body of his sister, but the beginnings of sorrow. It didn't matter if a trained army of professional ghosts was between him and his sister now. He was acting!

He took several long steps back.

"Then, by the power invested into me by-" Edward Gracey started.

He was cut off when Dipper roared as he leapt off the balcony stone railing and dived for the chandelier in the center of the room. The ghosts within gasped and watched as the fifteen year old dived out, grasping the edges of the chandeliers by tips of his fingers. From his view, he could barely see the four below him. Zander beamed at Dippers arrival, but Mabel was furious.

"Constance, don't do something you'll only end up regretting!" Dipper shouted.

She stormed closer. "No. No! NO!" she roared, and shoved past Zander, who barely budged aside. "You will not ruin my wedding!" she roared, and snapped her fingers.

The top of the chandelier chain snapped off.

Dipper roared as he plummeted. Twenty feet below, only hard stone awaited him, with some two hundred pounds of metal and crystal from above. A flash of sound, a grasp of hands, and suddenly Dipper was thrown out from under the collapsing crash. He landed some ten feet away, crumbled to the floor.

When he managed to look up, he saw, with a gasp, Zander, pinned under the chandelier. Constance stared at the two, her eyes wide in terror.

"M… mister Orvas?" she asked with a squeaky voice.

Zander raised a hand. "I'm good," he said.

"But… but that crushed you," she gasped. She clutched her head, a crease coming to her brow. "What… what is going on?!" she demanded, turning back to her father. "Why is this happening!? I wanted a wedding! Why must they all seek to ruin me!?"

"Constance!" Dipper shouted, "this isn't about a Wedding!"

She spun towards him, the blue shining so brightly that they created an aura around Mabels head. Her voice boomed so powerfully that other ghosts fled from her vicinity. "**DON'T TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ABOUT, BOY!**" she rumbled.

"Constance, you've always had it bad, ever since your mother left you and your father in death," Dipper said, feeling the power surge through the air the more he talked, but he couldn't back down, not when he was this close.

"Keep her busy, buddy," Zander said, patting Dipper's leg as he walked past him.

"**STAY BACK,**" She warned, dark energies crackling from her finger tips. "**I will remove you!**"

"Not me," Dipper shook his head, "not like the others."

Constance faltered and took a step away. "Wh-what d-do you mean?"

"I know about your husbands," he said, and raised her journal.

"**NO!**" she roared, and cast a bolt of power through it. Dipper yelled it let it drop, watching as it smoldered and burned at his feet. "**NO ONE IS TO KNOW!**"

"Why? Because you made a terrible mistake?" Dipper asked, kicking aside the smoldering remains of the book, its use still spent. Constance shook her head, Mabel's face screwed up in a mixture of terror and despair unlike Dipper had ever seen. "Constance, you made a mistake before, and that's okay! You can learn from it, and your existence can improve! But you need to see that you keep repeating the same mistakes, and expecting the same results!"

"I-I- you're lying!" she yelled, "I am finally about to get my true love!"

"From Zander?!" Dipper asked. Her head tilted. "Or Orvas, or whatever he calls himself to you guys," Dipper rolled his eyes, "look, he's not… terrible, okay?" he admitted, "he's not. But really think, Constance: do you really know him? What he is, who he is?" Constance stared at him with fury, being withered down by the ranting of a teenage. "Can you say that you could get true love from someone you don't even know?"

"You don't know that!" she snapped. "True love is beyond understanding! It works in mysterious ways!"

"No, it doesn't!" Dipper shouted, "True love is the willingness to do anything for someone without expecting some sort of reward, and being willing to wait for that person," Dipper sighed, his heart aching as an image of flowing red hair in the wind flashed past him, "and being ready to be for someone, no matter what that means it means to you."

Constance stared at him.

"Look, I'm no expert on love, Constance," Dipper said, coming closer, "I'm not. My sister is the better of the two of us. But I know that… you don't just get love. You have to like, I don't know," Dipper looked around, and saw Zander pulling himself upright. "You have to maintain it. You have to grow it," he said with a chuckle, "it's not just this mystical thing you get once and 'boom'," he chuckled, "it's there forever. We grow it, and sometimes, we can give that love to someone as they give it to us. But love isn't about receiving that flower," Dipper said, looking back to Constance, "it's about the worth of the flower at all. The worth of love."

Tears ran down Constance's face.

"Some wisdom in this tough moment to soften things up," Zander mentioned. Dipper whipped back with a glare, but paused. Zander was beaming at him.

He looked back to Constance. "Constance, I love my sister. I was willing to risk fighting every single thing in this mansion to get her back here and now. I was ready for it, and if it doesn't show, I thought I was going to die under that chandelier," he thrust a thumb over his shoulder.

"Yeah, you really would have," Zander groaned, "my back just sucks right now."

"Dipper Pines," Constance finally said, causing the two to look to her, "what should I do?" she asked him with such timidity. "I've done so many bad things because of how scared and hurt I was. What do I do now? I… do I deserve love like you?" she asked.

Dipper went scarlet in the face. "It's not about what we deserve right now," Dipper said, "but about what you have. Your dad and you," Dipper said, looking past her to her father, who blinked, "have done more than you realize to try making each other feel better."

"Wh-what?" Constance hiccupped.

Dipper reached inside his vest again, and this time withdrew another journal, of black and simple leather bindings. He opened it, and found the first entry. "I find myself wondering each night how better to pacify the great emptiness in my heart. My dearest wife has left me, but more so left me a daughter with no mother to care for her now. A father I am, and I must be better for my dearest Constance- more than I have ever been. I will ensure her life an easy one. One way or another," Dipper read, "I will work harder than ever, and find a way to make her smile the way she did once, when my wife was still with us."

Dipper closed the book. Edward Gracey had turned away, his head fallen from his proud perch. A hand raced to his face as his daughter slowly turned to stare at him.

"All those nights you said you were busy because you had more work… you made that up so you could make more money," Constance gasped.

"Yes," Edward managed to say with a choked gasp, still covering his face.

"But that meant I rarely saw you, father," Constance said.

"A good thing," he said, removing his hand to show tears of his own, "for what a rotten father I was. I… enabled you to do the things you did."

Constance put a hand over her mouth, her eyes shot wide.

Dipper stepped up to her, mere feet from her now. "Constance, true love isn't a myth, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't care about the other, and possibly more, important kind of love," Dipper said.

"Which is?" she asked, wiping away tears from her cheeks, "please! Tell me!"

"Family," Dipper said, and gave his sister a hug.

The glowing in Mabel's eyes sunk away. Her eyelids closed with a shudder, and the ghostly image of Constance appeared, drifting out of Mabel's body with a small rush of spectral energy. Dipper held his weak sister close, keeping her upright.

Then a voice whispered in his ear. "Missing your sibling hug?" Mabel managed to chuckle.

"Missing your sibling hug," Dipper said.

Then, simultaneously, the two said softly, "Pat-pat."

Ghosts around them began to fade away, becoming little more than wisps of smoke. As they vanished, a gentle wind carried them away. Slowly, the entire mansion began to fill with this blue wind that swirled around them all, cascading into a soft, slowly twisting cyclone of gentle energies.

"Amazing," Zander muttered.

"Dipper!"

"Dude!"

"Mabel!"

Mabel and Dipper turned from their hug and looked to the balcony. There, waving to them, was Ford, Soos, and Wendy.

"Dipper, am I still delirious from the long possession, or is that really Great Uncle Ford who's _also_ haunting us?" Mabel asked, squinting up at the balcony.

"It's a long story," Dipper sighed.

"Good. I want popcorn. You can tell me all about it while my fingers get super buttery and gross," she giggled, and Dipper laughed with her.

A whispering wind had the twins turn back. Behind them, Constance and her father floated back, entering the spiraling cyclone above them. Their forms becoming more and more elemental in appearance, the living (and still undead) present watched as the hundreds of ghosts slowly ascended.

"Thank you," Constance said, and waved to Dipper, "I hope you find that true love of yours," she said.

Dipper blushed, but Mabel nudged his ribs. "Doofus."

"My friends, thank you," Edward Gracey nodded.

"Aww, seeya later, Master Gracey," Mabel waved at him. "Sorry we couldn't have more time to flirt or stuff."

The two smiled down at the twins, and then, along with the spiraling blue mist above their heads, dissipated. Particles of ghost-stuff floated around the air, becoming less and less corporeal as they came closer to the ground.

Mabel sneezed. "Ack! I think I got dried ecto-plasm in my nose! Uck! Grossss!"

In the following hour as the now six scoured the mansion, it was easily established the whatever presence, either Constance or otherwise, had empowered the island with it's darkly energies, had left. The dead no longer walked the land, the cursed paintings became tattered, ruined pieces of art, and the structure rapidly decayed back to it's original state, falling into disrepair at an alarming rate.

Again outdoors, the six marched through the forest to the forest line, where Zander had pulled aside Ford for a private talk, leaving the four to their own wits.

"I just hate that Constance had to throw away my sweater!" Mabel scowled, pulling on her wedding dress.

"Yeah, but you get a pretty kick-ass old-school dress for it," Wendy noted, tugging on the fabric gently, only refraining with a chuckle after Mabel smacked her hand.

"At least you're not naked," Soos mentioned.

"This is so true," Mabel said, proudly nodded. "The world isn't ready for me like that."

"Nor will it ever be," Dipper smirked. Mabel poked his eye with a prod. "Ow."

"Super rude," she stuck her tongue out at him.

"So, uh," Soos piped up," is Mister Stanford secretly being killed by Zander?"

"Yeah, what's the story with him again?!" Mabel barked.

Dipper sighed. "Stupidly complicated, and one I'm not sure we can trust yet. I just know tow things- he certainly acts like a younger version of Ford, and he certainly acts like he doesn't really know who we are."

"Weeeeirrrd," Mabel hummed. "Oh well," she suddenly shrugged, "maybe this is a chance to start on a new leaf!"

"It's never that simple," Dipper grumbled.

"Hey, cheer up grumpy bumpy," Mabel prodded his shoulder, "you did just solve and end a hundred and fifty year old haunting," she reminded him.

"Not as impressive as you'd think. Pacifica managed that by pulling a lever apparently," Dipper mentioned.

"Huh!?" Mabel and Wendy both asked.

"She beat that ghost by pulling a lever?" Mabel whined.

"Pacifica Northwest beat a ghost at _all_?!" Wendy demanded.

Stepping out from the now dull, but less haunted woods, Ford and Zander approached.

"For now, Ford and I have a deal," Zander stated. "The guy keeps an eye on you, and you all keep an eye on him. When this is all over, you can help him get back to his time or whatever, but he knows plenty enough that he'd be a help to the journey as is."

"Yes!" Ford piped up, "you should have told me! Starkissed?! Incredible!"

"You know about starkissed?" Dipper asked.

"A speculator substance! Something similar to a natural batter for arcane! And to think," Ford looked to Zander's scarf, "that you proudly wear such a refined amount of it-"

Zander swatted away Ford's look with a wave of his hand, and marched away. "I'm going to be leaving now," he mumbled, and he turned to Mabel. "You doing okay?" she nodded. "Good," he smiled, and approached the riverbank.

"Zander?" she asked suddenly. Zander turned, looking to her calmly. "Thanks. For being able to say… all that stuff early. With Constance, to save me. I… thank you," she said, her face growing redder and redder by the syllable.

Zander merely nodded. He turned away from her, and ran into the other female-Wendy. She, unlike Mabel, glared up at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Zander, I know you have a lot more information about the dead and, specifically, wraiths," she stated. His face, already a hard read, become stony. "I don't care when, but you need to tell me more. I know you've got information."

"That's pretty wild claims you're making-" Zander began.

"It's not wild!" Wendy shot out. "You knew about the pains of the Wraith! You know about the punishment they can take, and today, you knew that they couldn't be possessed by other undead!?" she repeated to him. Zander sighed and looked away. "Zander, c'mon man. Help a girl out dealing with her problems in un-life?" she asked, her forced nature slumping into an uneasy smile.

After a silent moment, he gave her a tiny grin. "Okay. But later," he noted, "because you all have to get north. Back on the trail after all," he smiled.

"Right, because aside from being stuck in haunted mansions," Dipper snorted, "we have the world to save and have to trek across America to do it."

Zanded firmly nodded. "That sums it up. I'll catch up with you all later, okay? Just keep your phones ready for when I contact you!" he said.

Then, without another word, he turned to the river, and leapt. A gust of wind, a blast of sound, and a splash of water in the river shocked the five still on the land. Zander, in the night sky, was soaring away.

Finally, after adjusting his glasses, Ford asked. "So, he can do that as well. Anything else he can do?" he asked.

Mabel muttered, "you have no idea."

"Well, come on," Ford hummed, "there was this lovely Merman who I met on the river who guided me here. If we're lucky, we can ask him about the local fauna while we make it back to the mainland."

"Hehehe, mainland," Mabel chuckled. "Comrade Mabel shall return to the motherland!"

And with a few soft chuckles, the five made their way up the riverbanks. Soon, they would meet with Mermando, who was kind enough to bring them Ford's 'borrowed' boat. Only minutes later, they were sailing away, leaving a peaceful and still hill and island. It was finally laid to rest.

If only others could be.

* * *

Staring into his reflected with the imbedded red crystal in his eye, Graupner stared at the dark sky. A base of military like operation now lay before him, entirely under his and his apprentice's thumb. With Alvis taking away the menial tasks, Graupner had been able to stay atop his tower, monitoring what was important- his enemies.

At least, until now.

He yelled, and punched outward. His fist far too weak to shatter glass, he merely groaned and turned away, shaking his hand away from it's temporary pains.

Alvis, sitting on a chair inside the tower center, watched him with wide eyes.

"I assure you, sir," Alvis stated, "this will not be that terrible of a set-back."

Graupner laughed. "She won't help-p us anymore!?" he roared, "how is th-that not a setback!?"

Alvis pursed his lips, giving his response clear thought. "When Kelly Yore was contacted, she made it clear that she would locate them for us. We had made the mistake in assuming that the deal was indefinite. Clearly a mistake to make when dealing with a demon of the past," Alvis chuckled.

"I made no m-mistake," Graupner growled.

"Of course now," Alvis nodded. "Still, without her help, we have leads. I've contacted a few bounty hunters off the grid, and they are more than happy to find some pitiful children. Even willing to bring them back without killing them," Alvis added.

"D-Darn," Graupner growled.

"Well, by the time these men and women find the twins and their gang of fighting friends," Alvis said, "we can start using are fully trained men and woman. No longer just walking punching bags."

"G-Good, because the last t-time they all suc-c-c-ked," Graupner struggled with his ending, and then scowled. "Still… no help from our d-demon friend," Graupner grumbled.

"Well, she was only option one of… two," Alvis reminded him.

Graupner stared at him. The dark, low-hanging clouds of the mountains matched the darkness of his burnt eye-socket, and Graupner's gaze went from sour to willing. He raised his chin, looking down his nose at Alvis.

"Can you sp-sp-speak to him?" Graupner asked, stepping closer. "To… B-Bill?"

Alvis nodded, and closed his eyes, muttering something under his breath. Then his eyes shot wide open.

Yellow filled white.

Black slits replaced circular pupils.

Alvis looked around, animated more than he usually was, waving his arms about. "Ohh, so, this is good ole Alvis Leuthar! Huh, a bit more meaty in places than I would have expected, but hey, more to mold with! HA!"

"Bill," Graupner snarled.

Alvis turned to him.

"You rang?" the high-pitched voice asked him with a wide leer.

"I w-w-want a deal," Graupner said.

"You know my t-t-t-terms," Bill chortled.

"Then how about I find you a replacement!" Graupner snapped out in a rush, simmering at his pace of chat.

Bill Cipher's eyes widened, and he whistled. "You mean you'd find me a pretty little toy to play with?" He looked around, "I'll be honest, kiddo, not a good lot of the kinds I'm looking for around these days. You're a lucky find!" Bill said, darting forward and looking at Graupner in his eye, "and trust me, you're going to go far, kid."

Graupner sneered. "I can, and I w-w-will find you a replacement. I've already found h-her," he sneered.

Bill paused. "Her?" he repeated. Graupner leaned his head forward. "Oh c'mon!" Bill shouted, "Don't you know not to tease a two-dimensional dream demon?! I've got nightmares to terrorize and realities to warp!"

"I'll t-t-tell you, "Graupner sneered and said a name.

"Wendy Corduroy."

* * *

WOOOHOO!

And so part one of season three is done. That's ten episodes out of thirty. Not to mention those odd chapters here or there that will just like that (like, I dunno, summerween?! That's coming up again! I expect some suggestions from you guys again! Anything goes now!)

I hope I met some of the expectations for this chapter. If not, I'll have to make it up to your guys with the coming chapters, where we go back and see some characters from earlier in the series. (anyone smell bird-brains? Weird smell.) Among more, demons and drama will be rearing it's head as well. Stay turned, friends!

Sadly, it is very late, and my eyes do droop and fall out of their sockets (it's been hard to keep them there since I became a skeleton that one time)

So, instead of me rambling, instead enjoy not one, not two, but four Crytograms!

(The entire haunted mansion collapses onto EZB. His soul rises out from the ruins, ready to join the haunt and become number 1000. Only… they're all gone. Dang it.)

* * *

1-12-12 25-15-21 14-5-5-4 9-19 12-15-22-5

(Vigenere)

Tvxv xgsv- op Xmzrlnc Pkrl Repgeotqyr Xhqwr Yyoy! Pmbv: dqiq ok pcwq zyrqyen khg zcoc oh hcgkh? Eel efu jye g xhqwr zf tji ylketpglv? Wjer'y khg tpkwetvcj tonsetv oh xfk soa-kfujt? Eel efu tiyrcy oeik fuv mlyzdg e tgtuwq arvapip cztj e enfsv? Xfkje crqcvru elj doti!

8-1-16-16-25 2-9-18-20-8-4-1-25 1-12-5-24 8-9-19-18-3-8

(Vigenere)

Shr Mslqnrb eydaq oircs qrae caen tczcrv. Av zrr epvrsrg xf ae jlxy ervhrur aag jrliyb me shrvi uzrx wmdds, oxx jsiyo av laefl rgeng. Av baa eekslr ryi cezrrj, ve pdr vwoefmjd ohu kynsgv, fls cnq av ceshek nuevicuef?


	86. Summerween: The Beginning

Gravity Falls; the year nineteen eighty.

The small, backwater town with spooky tales of monsters in the woods and enchanted forests found itself a visitor not two years ago. An outsider with no ties to the town other than his own interests, this man made a quick building in the deeper hilled woods to the south of the town center. There, he did research.

No one in town ever asked what he did, for he was, as anyone in town would put it, weird. Glasses, messy hair that always smelled like coffee and burnt rubber, and most of all, those six-fingered hands of his, the man was a walking oddity. People didn't like to be near him usually, as he always looked irritated when he stepped into town.

Then he brought in two more. The first who came in was a total geek, and the town ignored the small, frail looking man with a long nose. The second who came in was less ignored and much more quick to monitor. He looked like the researcher, Stan, or whatever his name was, but was larger, rash, and quick to act. The three men, in their cabin in the woods, would vanish for weeks at a time, as only strange sounds in the woods would echo out, scaring the children and giving plenty of fodder for the local teens to create ghastly ghost stories.

Such a day as the late June evening where such sounds could be heard. It was the 22nd day of the month, and people could hear it, far off in the distance.

Rumbling.

The skies were clear, and no forecast showed dark clouds coming. It was supposed to be a cooler summer evening, but people now stopped their tasks, watching the distant horizons.

"I'm scared!" A small boy with thick red hair announced, barely nine, muttered next to a light post, before turning to it and striking it as hard as he could. "I'll punch things until I feel _better_! RAUGH!" He continued to batter the wooden post until one of his parents scooped him away.

A teen, well dressed with his own personalized suit and slicked back black hair snickered as he paused. "It's probably just my family blasting apart another section of woods for a new project," Preston Northwest shrugged, his three groupies around him cackling. "They have been pondering building a shopping mall for town."

"Oh preston," a girl with long black hair smiled, hanging onto his shoulder, "you sound so smart when you talk about deforestation."

"Yes, I _am_ so smart," Preston corrected her with a glare.

The ground rumbled again.

"See?" Preston said, "it's not random. Every so often there will be a crash. It's all fine," he assured his groupies, who stared at the distant trees.

Yet, some mile and a half away, through woods, hills, and the smallest of valley's, the description of events was anything other than 'fine'.

Darting his way through trees post-haste, a small of frame man in a researcher's lab-coat and glasses ran for his life. With a solid death-grip on a notepad in his hands, he looked over his shoulder. His tawny brown had leafs and twigs stuck throughout it.

BOOM.

Crashing through the tree the massive object took a step. The ground trembled with the impact, tossing the man off his feet. Sprawling to the ground, the researcher turned, facing the monstrous thing as he crawled backwards.

"W-Wait, this is just a mistake!" Fiddleford McGucket said, trying to straighten his glasses onto his face.

The monster, cascaded in the shadow of the canopy above them, snarled loudly and raised it's fist. Fiddleford McGucket screamed, holding his own hands up above him, desperate to shield himself.

"Hey!"

A taller man with broader shoulders leapt through the air, Striking the lower torso of the monster with his charge, his weight and momentum enough to knock aside the monstrous hand over. The fist collided with the ground five feet next to McGucket, who squeaked as he was gently lifted off the ground for a single moment. The monster howled and collapsed, seemingly splintering off into many various pieces.

Rushing by him, and dragging him to his feet, was the identical look-alike to the man who had just rammed the massive being.

"Fiddleford, up!" the man begged.

"A-All right!" The scientist wheezed as he stood up.

Racing behind his co-researcher, Fiddleford looked behind him. The man responsible for charging the monster was behind him, rushing to catch up.

"Hey! Don't watch me, Egghead!" the man roared, his hair cut short and his face dirty and sweaty, "look where you're running!"

Yet the man's eyes were not on the man behind him, Stanley, but the arising of the creature. Assembling out of a pile, piece by piece, the monster reformed itself.

From behind them, a shrill order was given.

"Fire at will!"

With the whistling of incoming projectiles, Stanley Pines ducked and weaved around the strangest form of projectiles they had seen yet- gnomes.

One flew right at Fiddleford, who screamed as he saw it open his mouth. Rows of razor sharp teeth flashed before him, and the monster latched itself onto his face. Fiddleford had no ability to combat the sudden grapple, and tripped over his feet, pulling his researching companion with him.

Down a hill they fell, rolling off of rocks, branches, wild rose thorns, the occasional possum, and finally coming down to the bottom of the hill. The scientist fell first, and then Fiddleford fell next to him, landing upon the attached gnome on his face. The creature gasped and flailed his arms and legs about, trying to escape his advantage turned prison.

A hand reached down and lifted Fiddleford up. "Th-thank you, S-" the researcher started.

"Can it!" Stan Pines rumbled, swiping down next to him to grasp a single gnome by the scruff.

"Hey!" the creature barked, "lemme go! Lemme go!" Stan pinched the nose of the creature. "Ow!"

"Quiet, you shrimp. Unless you want to get airborne real fast real soon, you better do what I say, or else!" Stan growled, and the confidence and energy in his captive died away.

The scientist stood up, brushing his knees as he did with six fingers on each hand. "Stan, keeping one of their clan captive doesn't seen smart," Stanford said, cleaning his glasses rapidly.

"Yeah? Look behind you," Stan grinned.

Ford turned around. Finally atop his feet, albeit shaken, Fiddleford also turned. The three stood at the edge of two environments- a darkly woods of thick redwood trees and a thick glade. In the glade, mystic orbs of color distantly floated around at ease, leaving behind trails of sparkling light.

"The Fae woods!" Ford gasped. "Of course! Hand me the gnome!" Ford demanded.

"Please, have him," Stan shrugged, and tossed the worried creature to him. The scientist caught the gnome by the beard, causing it to wince and cough.

"OWWW! My face!" The creature yelped. "Literally grab me anywhere else and I'll stop squirming!"

"As you wish," Ford off-handed muttered, and lowered his hand to grab the back of it's neck, causing its eyes to bulge. The three turned to the hill, as a humungous construction stepped out. A form the size of a giant, entirely composed of tiny gnomes, stepped out.

"They got me, boss!" the gnome gasped as he looked up to the monster.

At the very top of the walking war-machine of gnomes, a red-headed and bearded gnome pointed down on the three. "Hey!" he shouted in a winey, angered tone, "give Jackie back! Or else!"

"Or else what, you chump!?" Stanley barked.

"Stan!" Ford yelled, "this situation doesn't need further provocation."

"Yeah right, what it needs is further pro-violence!" Stan barked back, glaring angrily at the monster. "What's your problem anyway!? Huh!? We just asked a few of your guys some questions!"

The monster lifted it's hand and pointed at Fiddleford. "Your friend must pay for this crimes against us!"

The twins glanced to the cowering researcher behind Ford. Fiddleford shrugged. "I don't know what I did!" he said through chattering teeth. "I just asked if they had women who also had beards!"

"RUDE!" the gnome atop the monster bellowed. "And when it comes to rudeness, we'll _destroy_ you!"

"Ah-ah-ahh," Ford held up the gnome before him quickly, and then lifted him closer to the glades, "as much as I'm sure you'd love to destroy us, as it turns out, we're on the side of the Enchanted glades. You come any closer, and you'll have your own consequences to deal with," Ford grinned.

"Like... like what!?" the gnome atop the monster snarled. "We're not afraid of anyone!"

"I'm certain you're not," Ford said, "but we've seen Fairy magic before. And I don't know if you have, but trust me," Ford shuddered, "not something you want coming after you. So," Ford cleared his throat, "I propose this simple arrangement. I won't have my brother here punt your friend as hard as he can into the glade to agitate the Fae in the woods, and in return, you cease chasing us, here and now."

"What!?" the gnome blustered.

"Hey, don't ask me how far I can punt your friend," Stan bared his teeth in a leer, "because trust me, I've had a lot of practice in high school with kicking things your size."

The gnome shook with fury. "Doh- VERY WELL!" he screeched. The animated structure underneath him slowly withered away as gnomes crawled down one another, shrinking the war-machine they had made until it was just the red-headed gnome. "Fine, you troublesome humans! This day, you give us back your friend, and we let you walk away."

"A wise choice, Joffre," Ford nodded, and lowered the gnome to the ground. Relaxing the grip he had around the creature's neck, he allowed the gnome to rush away. It only turned once, glaring at Fiddleford.

"You're mean!" he snapped at Fiddleford, who gaped at the gnome, before it ran into the foliage with the rest of his kin.

The gnome leader spoke up again, "Mark me, you three humans, you aught to apologize for your rudeness, or chase or otherwise, your luck will find itself vanished!" he warned, wiggling his fingers through the air mystically.

"Yeah, okay shrimp," Stan laughed, "whatever."

The face of the gnome became crimson. "You dare mock me further!? Calling me sea-food!?"

"It was actually a crack about your size, but sure, you smell too," Stan chuckled, he turned, and walked away, snickering to himself. "Heh, shrimp."

Ford sighed, and with a uncertain and mildly scared Fiddleford, they walked behind the broad-shouldered man. Left alone to the woods, the gnome shook with rage.

"You think you can just insult the leader of the gnomes and get away with it!? Diminished magic or not, you will see the terror of our darkness hunt you!" the Gnome barked, and shouted up to the sky. "I place a curse upon you, Stan, Ford, and Fiddleford! The shadows themselves will arise and hunt you!" The shadows around him grew dark, and a cold wind whipped through the air. "Until you apologize for your actions, these shadows will-"

"DAD!"

The gnome paused, looking over his shoulder. A younger gnome with a smaller brown beard poked his head out from the bushes. "Seriously, dad? No one cares about ancient, eldritch stuff anymore. Besides, we need to find more acorns- I'm hungry."

The gnome glared at the smaller one. "Jeff, we had a stash of nuts. What happened to them?"

"Uh, I ate them," Jeff the gnome admitted.

"Really!?" the older one barked.

"I was-"

"Hungry, fine, fine. You know what though? Me too. Let's go see if Shmebulock senior has any he's forgotten about so we can steal them instead," The leader gnome shrugged as he and his son departed into the woods.

Yet the shadows in the spot they had just been at coalesced. A puddle slowly formed in the center of the bottom of the hill, of pure smoky shadow. It climbed up, creating a drooping cylinder, until four gangly arms popper out, grasping onto the trees around it. Whispers emanated from it, formless and maddening.

Slowly, it slumped away, darting between the shadows of the woods. It had it's quarry to attend.

* * *

Gravity Falls, the year two-thousand fifteen.

It was late on the twenty second of June. A deep chamber underneath a tourist trap slowly came to light. Raw earth and exposed rock surrounded a dusty, untouched mechanical wonder that stood like a statue in the fading shadows. A wall of metal and glass panel grew brightest first. Voices floated out from the cracks in the wall.

"So you have a bunker," a woman's voice asked. "Good to know in case of nuclear catastrophe."

"Not just any bunker, kid," a rough voice, belonging to an aged Stanley Pines said as his outline appeared in the glass panel in the metal wall. Lights flickered behind him, and his form was revealed, covered in fleshy prosthetics. Next to him was a woman in a darkly Jester costume, with long golden hair and a weary look to her blue eyes. Then she turned, and stared.

"What... is that?" she asked. The older man's mouth opened, but she beat him to the punch, "is it some sort of ancient relic of alien civilization? A secret cloning device made by the army you stole? A time stopping device?"

"Arline, cool it!" Stan barked, and moved away from the panel. She followed, and in the darkness, a door slid open, revealing the two of them in a doorway. "See for yourself," Stan sighed.

The lights inside flickered to their fullest, basking the triangular object in stark relief. The girl, in semi-singed costume whistled. "That's... a thing, all right. What is it?"

"If you won't interrupt me," Stan grumbled, "it's a portal device."

Arline stared, her mouth open, and whispered, "wow."

"Ohhh yeah," Stan nodded, "that's not the first time someone's said that about the portal."

"How... did you make it?" Arline asked, "have... you been a mechanical genius all this time?" She pondered, "you really fooled me on that one."

"Trust me, I didn't build this... thing," Stan said with a tense jaw, glaring at the structure.

"Oh," Arline blinked, and looked to him, "then why is it here? How did you get it?"

Stan reached inside his worn Summerween costume, and removed his glasses. With a quick clean, he pressed them onto the bridge of his nose. "My brother made it. More than thirty years ago."

"Whoa- wait," she turned on a dime and stared at him.

"Yeah," Stan shrugged, "I had a brother."

"Had?" she stroked her chin, "I thought I heard Mabel and Dipper talking about some sort of Grand Uncle," she mentioned, "this 'Ford'?" Stan shuddered. Arline stared, her eyes wide. "Oh. Sorry. Didn't think that was a sour topic."

"Heh. That's just the status of my life with my stupid brother," he chuckled, "sour. Ever since High school."

"Your brother built some crazy portal, and you're calling him stupid?" she chuckled. Stan glared at her, and she relented. "Right. Sorry. You're showing me something for some important reason."

"This portal, kid," Stan grumbled, "is the reason why I'm still in these woods. Why I have to be careful with who I pick as my friends. And why I don't trust people so easily," he said, casting her a quick warning glance.

"People tried stealing the technology or something?" Arline asked, pocketing her hands in her costume.

"Tried using it. Twice. A monster helped my brother make it, pretending that it would help the world grow into a new age. Instead, it could have started the end of the universe," Stan admitted. Arline stared at him, walking over to a large metal barrel and sitting on it. "Don't sit there. Radioactive." Arline yelped and flew into the air away from it in a single jump.

"But... why? How?" Arline asked, brushing her rear of any remaining rust from the metal barrel.

"My brother was a researcher. A dorky-egg headed scientist who wanted to look into weird things. Sort of like Dipper, you know?" he explained, "and he got this idea to make this thing here," he indicated to the Portal.

"Just like that?" she asked.

"No. To explain it, a thing by the name of Bill Cipher met him in a dream. They worked together to make this thing. That _monster_ tricked my brother into making deals with him," Stan clenched his fists.

"The monster's name was... Bill Cipher?" Arline asked, her expression locked onto Stan.

"Yeah. What's worse, is that my brother believed it all up until the end," Stan sighed, walking close to the inactive device, "and then it was too late. He came back one day, changed. I didn't find out until later that he was... possessed. Cipher had taken control of my brother, and was using him to re-build the portal himself."

"But how?" Arline asked, "if he was a demon or whatever," Arline asked, following him, and Stan eyed her, "wouldn't there need to be a deal?"

Stan sighed, and sat down on the first step of the portal. "I'll tell you. How I found out, and everything I know." Arline nodded, and slowly lowered herself onto the ground in front of him, ready to hear a story. "I discovered this chamber my brother made thirty four years ago. On this night- the night where my brother, and his assistant and I, created Summerween."

* * *

It had been hours since their mid-afternoon encounter with the gnomes in the woods. The three, Stan, Ford, and Fiddleford, had their quick blowout in front of the shack. While pointing fingers and angrily pouting to one another, a consensus had been made- they needed something to blow off steam.

So, they had a new plan: they'd go around town, with the idea to scare as many people with their silly costumes as they could.

Stanley had been in his small, upstairs room, the attic, for a few minutes. With a few costume choices he had quickly put together, he had constructed a quick, crude, vampiric looking tailed tuxedo. Along with his shopping-mall quality fangs, and his own make up on his face (flour), he looked like a primed and ready Dracula.

"Oh yeah," he said with a grin, adjusting his blood-red tie around his neck in the mirror. His deep brown hair was slicked back, and he had done his best to redden his eyes by rubbing them furiously. "Ahh, ahem," he cleared his throat, and then cast his hands over his head, and said in his best vampire-like voice, "_I vaaant to suck your blaaad_!" He laughed, and then scowled. "Ugh. Maybe just hiss and snarl." He coughed once, and spat a wad on the floor. "Ah! Perfect!" he clapped his hands together, proud of the sounds he made.

After a final look over, he shrugged, and exited his room. Various decorations had already been put up in the past few hours. To his shock, Stan saw sitting on the end of the stairway railing a carved Watermelon. He lifted it up and carried it with him as he examined it. Walking into the kitchen, he spotted Ford and McGucket working on their costumes.

"Ah, Stan! You look appropriate," Ford nodded, and continued to tinker with what appeared to be a large metal backpack with McGucket.

"Appropriate?" Stan barked, "I look great! Appropriate is what you say to a kid when their costume sucks! My costume is killing it!" he laughed, slapping his own knee. "Get it? Killing it?" he asked the two.

Ford nodded absentmindedly, while McGucket lifted his head and stared, frowning.

Stan glared at him. "Killing it? See?" he sneered, showing his fake canines. "Killing it. Vampires. Kill. Things."

"Yes, I know that," McGucket nodded, "I'm just worried our themed costumes will not match with your choice as a sanguine cryptoid."

"As a what?" Stan asked.

"A vampire," Ford translated.

"What do you mean being a vampire won't work!?" Stan shouted, "you two are supposed to be the good guy scientists or whatever, who stop the dead from haunting people or stuff! Vampires _are_ undead!"

"I am aware of this, Stanley, my primary concerns is you choice of type of undead. It would have matched our theme more if you had chosen to be a ghost," McGucket admitted, nervously adjusting his glasses.

"What?" Stan barked. "But a ghost isn't really scare for a costume! I might as well wear something stupid like..." he reached over to a shelf, and drew over a simple yellow and black smiley mask, "this ugly thing!"

"Stan, it's fine," Ford sighed, "as long as you pretend to be in serious pain when the light hits you."

"Yeah!? Well tiny here thinks he can tell me how a good costume works! ME! Members one of two of the original Masters of Horror!" He glared at their costumes, and raised an eyebrow while dropping the mask to the floor, "I mean, have you guys even found your costumes yet?" he asked, "you're just wearing what you normally do!"

"A brilliant idea by McGucket," Ford smirked, "as they have seen us all in our normal, day-to-day attire, they won't suspect a thing when they see myself and Fiddleford without costume with strange devices, but they will no doubtedly be incapable of recognizing you- lending authenticity to this stunt of ours!"

"Uggggh," Stan groaned, "you two are just being lazy."

"Well," Ford scowled, "I at least came up with code-names for us. I'm Doctor Timey, and Fiddleford is Mister Wimey."

"The heck kinds of names are those!?" Stan cackled. "That's stupid!"

"Uh, well, I guess you'd have to watch it to understand the joke," Ford rubbed his neck as his cheeks reddened.

"I thought it was funny enough," Fiddleford McGucket nodded.

"Fine, whatever, clever jokes," Stan rolled his eyes, and leaned onto the table looking to them, "so- the plan."

"Simple enough," Ford patted the machine, and spun it to face Stan. A concoction of wires, switches, and small lights lined a complicated looking construct that surrounded a large battery. "Fiddleford and I wear these backpacks. We're looking for a monster from the woods, and show this-" he lifted up a reference to count dracula himself, "-and get a few laughs from people. Then, Stan, you come in. With the help of your wrist-mounted mist makers-"

"My what?!" Stan gasped.

"These," McGucket lifted up two large watches that had their hands and faces removed, and instead, had small metal tubes connected to a small container that was attached to a separate watch. "You attach them to your wrist and forearm," he pointed to two separate straps, "and activate them to create mist with that button," he pointed to a small button on the first watch.

"And when you press it, you will appear as mist is coming off you," Ford added.

"Huh. I could use something like that," Stan scratched his chin.

"And with these grand little light-show backpacks we just made on the spot with what little tools and professional light materials we have," Ford said with a wide grin, "we'll be able to make it seem we're blasting you with high-intensity focal energy beams."

"Ah, neat. You won't actually be, though?" Stan asked, worriedly eying the backpacks.

"Of course not! Not unless you're suddenly vulnerable to sources of light," Ford smiled easily. A chime went off from a coo-coo clock in the distance. "Oh! Time for my daily meditation," he said, standing away from the table, leaving his welding supplies behind.

"Will you need my annotations?" Fiddleford asked.

"Not this time," Ford waved, "I'll make this one a quickie."

"A quickie?" Stan raised an eyebrow, "I don't get how you make sitting down and doing nothing alone in a room a quickie."

Ford chuckled, walking past his brother, a plastic smile on his face, "oh, Stan. You're just sooo funny. Hah!" He walked past him, entering a room next to the hallway entrance, and locking it shut. Stan turned, staring at the door.

"Why does he _lock_ it?" Stan grumbled.

"Well, you have tried breaking in once or twice," Fiddleford nervously admitted.

"Look, it was twice, and I was afraid you two had gone missing!" Stan yelped, "when the house is quiet and I don't smell burning metal, I feel like I'm missing something! I didn't know you two losers did weird yoga or meditation or whatever together," Stan scoffed, folding his arms together tightly, "at least without me."

"Ford prefers a quiet setting for his, uh, quiet time," Fiddleford managed.

"Why? He's not doing anything," Stan grumbled.

"Just leave him be," Fiddleford managed, and continued to work on the wiring to his device.

That was not certainly enough for Stan. With his jaw clenched and his feeling for attention flaring, he marched away, following his brother's footsteps. The door lead into Fords personal bedroom, and Stan had been inside before, just never when he was meditating for some odd reason.

Staring at the door, he made to feel if it was locked, but then he heard something. Voices. Not just any collection of voices, his brother. He leaned closer, frowning. He saw the phone still out on the counter, so he couldn't be calling anyone. Who was he talking to?

"No, no, nothing severe, I assure you my friend," Ford's voice came through. There was a pause, and Stan was ready to knock loudly, but then his brother spoke. "It will only be this one night. We need a break."

Stan listened closely. His brother sounded odd. Almost... pleading. Of the things his brother was, a subordinate was not one of them. Stanford Pines made his own destiny, and had no bosses to speak of in his life. At least... as far as Stan knew of. He pressed his ear against the door heard, listening closely.

"Yes, yes, I do understand. The construction is urgent, and important: I would never disagree with that. But you must understand that this, uh, delay is one that we need. Being human requires us to take a break once in a while. I'm certain that's odd for someone like you."

Stan blinked. What did his brother mean by... 'being human'? Yet, listening as hard as he could, Stan heard no voices replying to Ford's words.

"Just one night?" Ford's voice asked. There was a prolonged pause. "Yes! I promise to. Thank you!"

Stan stepped away, realization stepping over him as he heard movement coming closer to the door. When the door swung up, Ford jumped- instantly seeing his larger brother before him. "Ah! Stan! What are you- why are you-"

"Ford, listen, it's okay," Stan chuckled, putting an arm around his brother's neck, leading him away from the room, "look, just because this is driving you crazy doesn't mean you have to hide it from your bro, okay?" he said, giving his chin a small shove with his fist. Ford's mouth fell open. "Hah! Your face!" Stan laughed, walking past his shocked brother.

All Stan could think of was how understanding he was. He could have teased his brother for going nuts, and instead, he'd let his bro be as crazy as he'd like. Ford was lucky to have him as a brother. That grin of his rode with him all the way into town.

Entering the town in their truck was a tricky process. The small, homely buildings of Gravity Falls did little in the ways of concealment. While a few back alleyways could be used to hide the caped Stanley Pines, a loud truck coming into town would easily be heard. After all, the only people coming through these days were tourists heading to the coast, loggers, and lost souls.

Still, they had a plan. Stanley's idea again, but it was one that Ford amused. Their worry of being spotted while exiting a running truck lead to Stan's suggestion that he wasn't even _in_ the seats- lying on his back and facing the sky as they drove into town. So climbing over rocks and rolling down hills was a mess for them, as every once in a while, there would be a loud sliding sound, followed by a 'thunk', and a "Ow!".

Several 'shushes' from his brother later, Stan leapt off the side of the truck as it slowed down by a stop-sign. Giving a single wave back to the car as he bolted into the shadows, Stan made for a quick trash can. The rattle scared away a single thin looking black cat, but he seemed alone. Checking to the street once more, he was alone.

"Hehehe, show time. Now, let's see this thing," he turned away and lifted his sleeve up, giving his eyes a chance to re-adapt to the light. The make shift device on his arm was tight and cool to the touch. "Uhh, three buttons? And a knob thing. Great. Can't just make a one-touch-does all, can they?" he grumbled, and pushed a button at random.

The green button pushed, his arm began to rumble, the machine shaking.

"Ah! Bad!" Stan punched the machine, which turned on another red button. As the button activated, the rumbling stopped, and mist began to pour out from it. "Oh... ok. That's better."

He pulled his sleeve down, and stood up. As he looked around again, he just then noticed that he was not alone.

A boy, not even six or seven stood at him, his eyes slightly too far apart and growing a clear and dark unibrow. They watched each other, stan rising up from a dumpster and careful to make no sudden movements.

"Mister," the boy said in a thick hick like tone, "are you a vampire?"

"Uhhh," Stan looked both ways, ensuring he was alone. When he found the answer pleasing, he looked back. "Yes. I am."

"Oh. Why is you sitting alone in a dumpster?" he asked.

Stan's eyes squinted down at the squirt. "Look, sometimes a vampire's gotta get desperate for a meal!" he shouted, and reached back, pulling out a half-eaten burger, dripping it's contents all around him," see? Mostly raw! Probably an ounce of blood somewhere in this."

"That's mighty far you've fallen," the kid noted.

"And I'll resort to eating bratty children if you don't get out of my sight!" Stan roared, grasping the cape behind him to great effect, splashing fog around him. "_BE GONE_!" he screeched.

The boy screamed and ran away. "I'll get the poe-leese! They'll know what to do about you!"

"Hahaha!" Stan smacked his knee, "sure you will. Stupid kid," Stan snickered, and turned away from the street.

Skulking down the alleyway in his best Dracula prowl, Stanley rounded a corner, and saw the target: A small pop store that was open later than usual on Saturdays. He looked to the nearby parking, and true to the plan, the red truck was nearby. Now all he had to do was make an entrance and spook some people.

He snickered, and found the knob on his wrist, and twisted it to max. With a poof, a volumetric increase of mist poured out from him. Stan laughed menacingly. Give it to his brother to find the best way to make someone spooky. He began to stroll forward, feeling all powerful in his cloak of fog.

Then he realized he had to cross the road. A simple task while he could see everything, but as he made it to the edge of the sidewalk, he realized that he could only see about five feet in front of him. The fog dampened noise. He couldn't tell what the traffic light color was, and he had no idea if a car was coming.

"I'm Dracula," Stan muttered to himself as he began to sweat a little at the aspect of diving to avoid a coming car, "who cares? I've got this. I'm all about never really dying. They've only got at least six movies with my name on it. I don't know the meaning of... car accidents," he gulped, and stepped forward.

Each step seemed to go too slow, and he hurried himself, faster and faster. "I am the night, I glide where I please!" Stan barked as he felt something on the road rapidly approaching. A whirl of wind and sound passed just behind him. Stan yelped and darted ahead, tripping on the sidewalk edge, and falling into grass.

"Hah! Alive!" Stan grinned, and lifted a fist to the sky, "Take that, Darwin!"

As a terrible screech of tire and horns honking blared behind him, Stan stood. Still enclosed by the mist generator, he brushed himself and chuckled. "Perfect landing." Stan then pushed forward, moving in the direction he assumed the shop was. True to his guess, at the edge of his vision, he spotted the windows. Surely they couldn't see him inside, and so he grinned.

This had to be slow. A calm execution would get more fear than anything else. And the greater the terror, the better the show. He slowly approached, enjoying every moment of his pace. He could just imagine the faces of terror inside: wondering what was approaching.

Soon the anticipation was too much for him. He found the door handle and-

It opened. A elderly woman stepped out. "S'cuse me, mister," she shakily said, walking past him.

Stan stared at her. She had missed his entire appearance. "Hey! Genuine vampire coming through!" Stan grumbled. The old woman seemed not to notice. "She better be legally blind not to notice how cool I look," he grumbled, and finally stepped forward.

The mist billowed in the room with him. As he stepped in, he let out a booming laugh. Whatever little commotion had been inside ceased, and attention turned onto Stan.

"I smell," Stan said after sucking in a long breath, "fresh blood. Yes. YES!" he bellowed, "delicious, fresh, drinkable-"

"Close the door, sir!" the shopkeep called.

"... What?!" Stan turned onto him.

"I pay good money for air-conditioning. It's the middle of the summer, and I don't care what you smell, please close the door!" the middle-aged man barked, cleaning a glass. "Also, stop all that smoking!"

He paused, incredulous. Did no one care about the mist-covered vampire walking around!?

Soured, Stan slammed the door shut, and reached in his sleeve and prodded the button. His eyes stuck on the man behind the bar, ready to give him a verbal lashing no one would forget, but then Stanford's voice echoed in the back of the shop.

"Oh no!" he cried out, drawing the room's attention. "It's the legendary count Dracula!"

Stan's screams actually got a few people to stand out of their chairs and off their stool seats. He looked back to the man behind the bar. The man had gone pale, and was slowly stepping back. Stan chuckled, and took a large step inside, opening his arms out, and flooding out mist.

"Yes! I, the great magnificent movie star, Dracula," Stan roared, sneering around, "have come to Gravity Falls for blood!" Stanford grumbled and put a heavy hand to his face, but said nothing.

"You, sir," a snarky voice called out, "are no Dracula."

Stan froze in place. Any soul that would dare mock him in the middle of a performance was about to realize the world of pain were entering. "Who _dares_!?" Stan whirled about to the source, and cringed.

The teenager stood, adjusting his tie and patting his slicked back hair. He knew the kid just by accounts of the dress, the tone, and of course, that darn N.W. button on his dress jacket.

"I would," Preston Northwest sneered as he walked closer, looking to his nails as he walked from his more frightened friends. "You see, I know a thing or two about class, mister not-really dracula."

"Why you little-" Stan grumbled. He nearly lunged forward, but saw his brother in the corner, who gave him a signal and mouthed a phrase.

'_Simmer down_.'

"Ugh," Stan rolled his eyes, and turned back to the spoiled beyond words teenager. "Yeah? Who are you to tell me about who I am, you northwest child!?" Stan said in his best Transylvanian accent.

"Ahh, even the phony undead of distant past are privvy to my family name. Not surprising to say the least," Preston Northwest smirked, "regardless, I am a far, far more dressed man than you will ever be. _I_ am Preston Northwest."

"Hah, if you could be called a man," Stan chuckled, breaking from his accent. "Er- I mean," he coughed and opened his posture up again and re-began his accent, "You shall suffer for your insults!"

"Insults? Please. It's insulting to think that someone with such low quality fabric could be considered as high class as Dracula. I mean, really," Preston reached forward to grasp at the tie on Stan. With his finger and thumb, he gave the fabric a quick rub, and he sneered.

"Yeah!?" Stan snarled, pulling the tie away, "what, can't handle a working dracula tie?"

"Working dracula? Hah!" Preston snickered, and wiped the tips of his fingers and thumb away with a clean handkerchief. "That tie is surely fifty percent nylon, and clearly only five percent cotton. Hardly even something that could be considered a _tie_."

Stan's mind buzzed. Was the kid just throwing... numbers at him? Percentages? "First of all," Stan grumbled, "this tie is perfect. It's red!" he said, "that way when I get blood on it, it doesn't get ruined."

"Please. Dracula is class enough that to merely touch a nylon piece of fabric like that requires a quick wash, but to wear is simply a sin," Preston snorted. "To think he would wear a tie like that, let a lone that suit."

Stan's ears felt hot, and his jaw tightened. "What's wrong with my suit?" he dared.

Preston let his opinion widely known. "I've seen shabbier suits for donation from trashcans," the boy snickered.

Stan lurched forward. "Say that to my face, punk!" he demanded.

"Oh no, a vampire," the teen lazily said, leaning away, a hand to the back of his head, "whatever shall I do?" he then sniffed Stan, who leaned away, "did you forget to wash your face of the flour, vampire? Or did some baker just turn you away with his rolling pin?"

"I'll bake you unto a pie you miserable runt!" Stan said, grabbing the boy by the scruff. The teens around him gasped and stepped aside, shocked that any adult would lay a hand on the boy between them. Yet, the kid seemed unfazed.

"That'll be assault, a lawsuit I'm sure my parents would love to file against your pale end. Tell me, should I have them send the letter to your coffin, or your flour bag?" he grinned.

Stan raised his hand, ready to drive his fist deep into the kids face until he could tickle brain (assuming this brat had any). This would be probably the most gratifying violent thing he'd ever done to another human being.

Then, from across the room, "Hey! Night-spawn!"

Stan whipped around to see the two scientists. "C'mon," he begged his brother, "just one punch?"

Fiddleford clicked a button on what looked like a nozzle attached to the backpack. A very focused, very bright and colorful beam of light zapped out and struck Stan. Not one to break from his character, he dropped the kid and stumbled back. He acted injured, holding his gut as he panted. All the while he stared at the kid next to him.

"We're not finished, you spoiled mortal spawn!" Stan said, attempting his best actor's voice. Again he was blasted by the light, and he stumbled back, hissing. The boy eyed Stan, adjusting his tie as he stared in clear disbelief. "I'll have you! My family line will crush yours until everything you've stood for lies in ruins!"

Ford and McGucket both blasted him simultaneously, and Stan let out his best, blood-curdling scream. The walls shook with his roar, and he jerked back and forth as he let his lungs echo into the air. When he opened his eyes, he fought hard to suppress a smile. Nearly all the shop had become pale, staring in his direction with wide eyes.

Then he saw his brother and the egg-head. They had stopped blasting him, and were also staring.

"Is that all you got!?" Stan barked at them. They continued to stare. "Hey! Doctors!" Stan snarled, attempting to remind them to continue the show, "c'mon! Keep at it!"

The teen before Stan rolled his eyes. "Very impressive display, I'll give you that. The moving shadows in the background are a nice touch."

Stan blinked. "Huh?" he asked, and spun around.

A figure, standing nearly seven and a half feet tall, gangly and fluid like in movement stood behind him, outside the glass panes of the shop. Stan had, for the past year, seen quite a lot of monsters and anomalies in his life, and he had grown a certain sense for when things were not natural.

Whatever he was looking at triggered that sense. He reached up to his sleeve and pressed the button again. Whatever this thing was didn't need the mist all around for it to look... creepy.

One tentacle like arm made of nothing but shadowy smoke smashed through the windows with the loudest shattering of glass since the car crash not a minute before. The kids in the back screeched, and the workers panicked, moving away from the windows.

Yet the proud teen stood his ground, even as Stan stepped back, uncertain as to what he was staring at. "I must commend your commitment," the teen chuckled, "breaking an entire store front like that must mean you're ready to pay the-"

The shadow snapped out with a hand, and the teen fell silent. A large tendril of the same material as the creature had wrapped itself around his neck, and lifted him into the air.

Stan whipped around to Ford. "What do we do!?"

"Uh-uh-" Ford stammered, dropping his own nozzle and pulling out his second journal, rapidly looking for notes. "I don't know what this is!" Ford shouted as the teen's face went from red to blue.

Stan did what he knew always worked; he punched at it. His entire fist soared through it, leaving only the shivers of freezing temperature against his knuckles. Stan stepped back, aware of the thing's other limb- and just in time. It swiped out for him as well, and he weaved under it and stepped away. As he did, he noticed a strange feature- no shadow.

"Huh," he muttered, and looked up to it. The being, holding up the flailing, clearly panicking teenager in it's hand, made the sounds of whispers and echoes of many voices. "It's made of shadow?" he guessed.

"What was that?" Ford asked hurriedly, looking up from his book.

"Made of shadow!" Stan said, pointing to the monster as it swung Preston Northwest around like a club. "Like it's cold and un-touchable and things!"

"Curious," Ford mused, quickly flipping to a page and scribbling down notes, "made of shadow, seemingly incorporeal, and cold to the touch."

"Can we write nerd stuff later please?!" Stan snapped, ducking underneath a swung about teenager. Those at the bar gasped and ooh'd at each combative moment, on the edge of their seats or toes as they watched the fight unfold. Stan grumbled after he threw another punch, only feeling the same cold rush through his body. He looked up to it, aware of it's lack of particular facial features. "How do we deal with this thing?!" he barked.

"Made of shadow? How do we stop-" Fiddleford said, but Ford gasped, grabbed Fiddlefords light ray, and pointed it straight at the arm of the monster. He turned on the nozzle, and the light blasted out.

The entire arm vanished with a blast of smoke. The bratty teenager screamed as he flew through the air, slamming into a poster on the wall for police patrol recruitment, and slid slowly to the ground. "I'll... sue... shadows..." the teenager mumbled, crumbling to the floor.

The creature stared at the vanished limb, and only a moment later did a new shadowy appendage slowly emerge.

"Fascinating!" Ford gasped as Fiddleford and him stared at the regenerating monster.

"Hah! You're telling me!" Stan said, grabbing a shaded lamp, and swinging it at the monster. "Back, you burnt bacon smoke!" Stan said, sweeping through the creature with the lamp. Each strike of the lit bulb ate away at the monsters frame, causing it to shrivel and contort. It stepped back, leaving the contents of the shattered shop.

The researcher and scientist followed Stan out, blasting at the monster with their light cannons, knocking it backwards again and again, pushing it away. Stan leapt up, and gave one mighty swing down the middle, cleaving the thing into two with his small wall-socket lamp. As he did, the two behind him blasted the cleaved remains with their light-beams, having the remains dissipate into nothingness. The three stood above the wispy remains of their foe, panting heavily.

The shattered glass remains of the windows behind them cracked and fell, adding to the injury of town property damages. Still, Stan grinned and laughed. "Hah! Yeah! Haaah..." he slowly looked back. "Can we even get a break in our lives without having monsters and weird things find us?" he asked his brother.

"I'm not terribly upset to be frank," Ford shrugged, "that was another journal addition! Smoke monster... or, wait, Shadow Elemental! Or Smoke Elemental!?" he gasped, looking to his notes. "Which to call you..."

Fiddleford grabbed onto Ford's jacket sleeve. "N-Not to spoil the moment, but it seems out victory may be short lived," he said, pointing to the spot behind Stan.

The Twin turned back, and growled. From the spot the remains of the monster had fallen, tendrils of dark black mist gathered. Conjoining to a new spot, some feet away from Stan, a ball of darkness formed.

"Lights out for you!" Stan barked, and stepped down onto the ball of shadow, dispelling it. Yet it then swirled into the air, and re-formed somewhere else. Stan growled, and swung at it with the lamp- and ripped out the cord. "Oh. Oops," he said, looking at the torn rubber cord.

Fiddleford directed the nozzle of his backpack and blasted away the orb with a ray of light. True to the previous encounter, it fizzled away.

"Good job, egghead," Stan nodded at Fiddleford, who smirked and adjusted his glasses.

"Nothing that an experienced computer engineer and robotics expert can't do," the smaller man grinned.

"Except talk to ladies," Stan smirked. The faces of the two before him went bright red. "Heh. Dorks," Stan chuckled.

Ford opened his mouth, but lifted his own nozzle end, and blasted it right at Stan. Barely passing over his shoulder, Stan ducked and turned around.

Behind him, in the shadows of the night itself, the creature had already fully re-formed, and made to attack Stan with his back turned. The blast of light cut through the midsection, and the thing collapsed again, swirling into dark mist and vanishing into the night.

"Man, this thing is persistent!" Stan barked. As he stepped backwards, nearly up against the two behind him, they looked around. Night was falling, and the shadows were growing darker and deeper. The everlasting echoing whispers were all around them, and the smallest trickle of movement in the shadows told them- it was still here.

"What do you want from us?" Ford demanded. Whispers met their demanding call. "Talkative, isn't it?" Ford grumbled.

"More or less," Fiddleford mentioned, looking around them, in the street. The lights in the streets began to shudder and flicker. "I have the distinct feeling this thing is hunting us."

"How do you stop something like this?!" Stan said, "something that you can't even touch?"

"I'd say daylight may dispel it, but we're not exactly cut on time for bright sources of sunlight," Ford said, as the three of them looked around. "If only we had some sort of high powered energy source that emitted light in such a high density that..." he stalled, his eyes widening.

"What?" Stan asked.

"Uhh, Stanford," McGucket looked back to him briefly, "you're not considering the-"

"To the truck!" Ford demanded, and he ran forward. The two of them followed in his pace, and just in time: a terrible crunch and crash of sound behind them told them to look back. Leaning off the small diner-like building like a spider, the shadowy creature swiped out, breaking an entire patch of street concrete.

"It's back again!" Stan barked as he ran next to his brother. "Tell me you've got a plan!"

"You might say that. One that I'm not certain will work, but considering our limited options-" Ford yelled as the slab of broken concrete was hurled just above his head, forcing the two scientists to duck.

"You have a plan!? Good enough," Stan barked, and climbed onto the back of the truck. Fiddleford took his time getting in, retreating into the vehicle with wide, shaky steps. Blasting his beams of light at the monster before him, Ford found little time to climb backwards, too busy dealing with the monster.

"Get _IN_, you nerd!" Stan grappled the scientist backwards, yanking him towards the open door. Fiddleford yelped, and suddenly handed the backpack to Stan. "Huh?" he asked.

"You stay in the back!" Fiddleford demanded as he slammed the door shut.

"And continue to blast the beast with the beams of light," Ford called out as he swung himself into his seat.

"Wait, really?" Stan asked with a faint gulp. Slipping his arms around the backpack straps, he hoisted it into the center of his spine. "Okay. How does this work?"

"Aim and click that red button!" Ford called out as he revved the engine to life.

"Heh, my kind of toy. Simple," Stan adjust himself in his stance, and turned to face the monster. It stood up slowly, recovering from the light holes in it's body. Stan added ,"and it's efficient!" he took his first shot. His aim off, he skimmed it's edges, causing it to hiss and recoil. "Oh, okay, strike one!" Stan grunted, and took another shot.

The car lurched, and he fell forward with a loud cry. "Hold on back there!" Ford bellowed.

"Thanks for the warning _ahead_ of time!" Stan shouted, rolling to his back. Just in time too as he saw the monster coming for him. A huge hand reached out, ready to snatch him from the truck just as he pulled away. "Eat beams of light you unholy monster!" Stan yelled, shooting upwards.

The truck sped away, thrusting Stan's head against the back of the truck lid. Unfortunately, it slid open. All his momentum carried him over the lid, and Stan found himself falling over and out.

"No, no, no!" Stan yelled. His arm desperately reached out, trying to hold onto something.

"Stan!" Ford's voice called out. Of all things to save Stan, the mist watch was the last thing he had expected. It snared on a sheet of metal from the truck, and held Stan in place. A small click later, Stan was trailing a large volume of mist behind the truck. "Stan!" Ford shouted again.

"Just keep driving!" Stan shouted over the rush of wind. They passed by people, who pointed, shouted, or cheered as they passed. Held in place temporarily, he looked back. He gulped. His mind took a very subluminal idea of what fear could feel like, as he experienced it again.

The seven feet tall creation had taken to the chase. On all fours, the four knobby and eerily skinny legs or arms or whatever they were rapidly gave chase. It still had no such face or features that would define a face, but it's head definitely looked towards them. Those shrill, maddening whispers still echoed in the air.

"Yeah?" Stan grunted, and reached for the dangling nozzle on his backpack. "Try some of this!" he shouted, and turned it on. He missed. The bright beam of light streaked just over it's form, lighting up the side of a building they drove past. "Dang it, stand still you oversized dust mite!" Stan roared, and shot again.

It reacted to what would have been a great hit. Leaping high into the air and to the side, Stan gasped and recoiled as it soared into the air; aspect of a giant jumping spider. It landed onto the rooftops next to the truck without a sound, and continued to chase him.

"What _gives_!?" Stan grumbled, turning, and pulling himself back up into the truck. "Stan," he rushed to the back mirror, waving the mist now endlessly pouring, "what the heck is this thing!?"

"I still haven't quite figure that out myself," Stan called over his shoulder to his brother, "it is almost elemental like, but it seems to have no other purpose than to chase us! That sounds very driven, almost like a spell or curse. That could imply a various many possibilities, maybe even-"

"Boil the answer down!" Stan roared.

Stan whipped around and glared at his brother. "I think someone may have cursed us! Also, turn off that damn mist machine, I can't see out of the back mirrors!"

"Right," Stan grumbled, and tossed off his jacket, letting it flap into the wind. "Dang thing was only five dollars anyway," he muttered, and turned to his wrist watch. "Uh, it's jammed!" he shouted, realizing the button on his wrist had not come out from it's activating position.

"That's not good," Fiddleford poked his head out of the window, "it could overheat!"

"What!?" Stan yelled at it, "you gave me a machine to strap to my arm that could melt my arm off!?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Fiddleford rolled his eyes, "it won't melt your arm! Catch fire, maybe, but-" he looked up and shrieked, "IT'S COMING AGAIN!"

Stan whirled around and turned on the light contraption. The monster had made a lunge right for them, diving off the rooftops to smash into the truck. Stan's beam met at its 'head' and sliced all the way through the body, severing it into two pieces. The truck passed through one and ran over the other half, leaving behind the dark Smokey creature in the side of the road. Adults in the town panicked and ran from the sight of the monster sliced in two, but teens and kids rallied, cheering and hollering with the exciting show.

Stan roared with laughter, and raised his light contraption over his head, "How's the taste of the light cannon five thousand for you!? Too much!?"

"Light what?" Ford asked aloud.

"Five thousand?" Fiddleford also asked. "Hardly. More like 'improved backpack flashlight'-"

"LIGHT CANNON FIVE THOUSAAAND!" Stan bellowed into the night sky as they drove down the road. Laughing to himself, he took a deep breath of the mist, and ended up gaining a coughing fit. "Ack! Done with this stupid watch," he grumbled, and slapped the end of the truck with the wrist, snapped it into two.

"Oh, my invention!" Fiddleford whined.

"Don't be so glum," Ford patted his shoulder, "mist isn't that hard to replicate. I'm certain you'll have more chances to make theatrical inventions like that." Ford glanced over his shoulder. "Stan, is it gone?"

Stan looked back at the distant street. Though it was empty, he saw it. Swirling in the shadows of the trees. Moving about like animate trails of vapor. "Yeah, but it's not done."

"Then we continue with the original plan," Ford exclaimed, turning back to the front.

"Which was what, boneheads?" Stan asked, stepping over to the back windows.

"Well, uh," Fiddleford looked nervously from brother to brother.

"Egg-head, you not telling me something?" Stan growled.

"Leave Fiddleford alone," Ford barked. "Stan, I explained to you when I decided to let you stay temporarily that there were many things going on in Gravity Falls that defied my explanation. I told you that there were some that needed to be explained and shown immediately-"

"Yeah, yeah, undead are real, monsters prowl the night, and some people aren't people, I know, I know," Stan nodded his head.

"And then there are some that must be shown over time, rather than immediately," Ford glanced at his brother in his rear-view mirror.

"Ah... yeah," Stan nodded, squinting his eyes. "I think I remember something like that. So?"

"Stan, I think it's time I've shown you the most important secret of them all," Ford decided as he turned down a street that spun away from town. Going up a hill, the sound of scraping gravel drowned them out for a while. Stan could see inside the outlines of the two docs talking. He couldn't hear a word they said, but it concerned him.

Stan knew he was tough. Considering the life he had to lead after he and his brother had their splitting ways, Stan knew he could handle anything with enough muscle power and wiggle room to squirm away. He had dealt with monsters he thought only mythical. He'd dealt with crazy science stuff that had (nearly) blown his mind.

Yet, with the way he saw his brother turn, and the glint in his eye, Stanley saw his twin worried. More worried than being chased by an indestructible shadow-monster.

As if cued by the thoughts in his brain, Stan heard it. He whirled about, and saw, high in the canopy, it crawling through the trees. It dropped down again, a shrill shriek of wind announcing it's attack.

"Not today, darkness incarnate!" Stan bellowed, and fired the light beam up at the sky. Again, he cut it into half, but it slipped back into the night around them. It had vanished as quickly as it had come. "It's back!" he shouted over his shoulder.

"Saw the flash!" Ford shouted, twisting his grip on the wheel, steering the car towards the lonely path towards the shack.

Stan grasped for life again. Though more readied for the sudden change in direction, he still felt the burn in his muscles, the tugging on his bones as he fought against his very momentum. Finally he pushed himself upright and turned to the night sky. It was there again already, pulling itself forward, effortlessly climbing after the three of them.

Stan began to fire, again and again, up into the night sky. Beam of light after beam of light missed, but it kept the monster at bay. It couldn't get closer to them without risking being blast apart yet again. So it maintained distance, but never was far from the truck.

Stan felt the car slowing down, and glanced behind him after shooting again into the sky. The lights of the shack were ahead. He was almost there. "Hurry up! If you've got a plan, we need it fast!" Stan called, feeling the power of his light machine dying.

"I'm aware of their batter life, Stanley, thanks!" Ford growled, driving them right up to the front entrance. The truck stopped, and the three hopped out. Stan turned, and blast again, again, and for one more time. The four click of the button had no result.

"It's out of juice!" Stan bellowed, staring at the woods, where the tall figure began to materialize slowly, taking to it's tall, gangly form. Stan looked to his brother, and grabbed at the backpack. "Gimme! I'll fend it off!"

"Stan, wait, it's delicate material!" Ford barked, resisting Stan.

"Stop struggling you idiot! We need to use this thing before it-"

"I can use it myself, Stan! Stop grabbing-"

The two grabbed at the end nozzle simultaneously, and pulled away. The high-powered light emitter snapped into two.

"Y-you broke the last one!" Ford snapped, his face red.

"I wouldn't have broken it if you had just given it to me! I could have fought this thing back while we get our next plan going!" Stan yelled back.

"Gentlemen," Fiddleford gulped, stepping backwards to the shack, "while I too feel passionately for this topic, I believe there are worse things happening!" he yelped and turned, rushing indoors.

The twins both looked at it. It's head had finally grown a single facial feature.

A mouth with razor sharp teeth. With it's mouth open, it bellowed into the night. The noise sent owls and animals in the trees fleeing for their lives. The outdoor lights flickered and pulsed with energy as it screeched, and the twins held their palms to their ears.

"We resolve this later!" Ford shouted, and pushed Stan towards the doors. The two ran towards the door.

There was a loud 'whip', and Ford grunted and fell to the floor.

Stan turned, and saw a long, smokey hand grapping his brother's leg.

"NO! STANFORD!" Stan bellowed and ran forward from the hallway. He grabbed onto Fords hands and tried pulling. Yet, he slid forward, the might of this creature indomitable.

"Stan, just go!" Ford begged, looking behind him. The maw of the monster was leaning closer, waiting to do nothing other than _eat_ him.

"Get away from my brother you-" Stan slipped, something papery sliding out from under his foot. As he fell to his back, he saw it float up- the stupid smiley face mask. While light, it was made out of hardened cardboard. "Eat this!" Stan shouted, standing, grasping the still floating mask, and whipping it like a disc at the mouth of the monster. It flew in-between the teeth, and the monster recoiled. It let go of the scientist as it clawed at it's face.

"Stan, I told you-" Ford grumbled, but his brother was already tugging him up.

"Where are we going now!?" Stan demanded.

"Down!" Ford yelled, and pulled him into the large research lab. Stan nearly tripped over a desk and a small chest, surely filled with wonders, but he pushed on. By a large paneling of wall, the twins spotted Fiddleford. He waved them closer.

"Inside!" he shouted.

"Wait, what?" Stan blinked, and stared. "Since when did we have-"

"Secret doors, I told you Stan," Ford pushed him inside, "there are some secrets that needed to wait."

As the door closed behind them, they descended down a small flight of simple steps. It was all wooden in here, with no signs of decoration. When they came to the end of a short hallway, Stan stared as Ford approached an elevator with the strangest password he'd ever seen.

He pressed the buttons so quickly, but Stan saw each symbol light up, and he made a mental note that he would recall those symbols.

"Let's get down, quickly," Ford said as Fiddleford stepped inside the opening elevator hurriedly.

"Down!?" Stan barked, "you mean where there are more shadows and-"

From far behind him, something smashed into the part of false wall.

"Going down sounds great!" Stan yelped and leapt into the elevator.

The doors behind him closed, and they descended deep into the earth. Raw stone lay before them, rising above them as they felt the air become stuffy and filled with a gritty taste. The earth seemed to shake, and the elevator shook.

"It must be in the shaft already!" Fiddleford gasped. "This thing is terribly persistent!"

"It's mistake," Ford remarked.

"Yeah!" Stan agreed, and turned to his brother, "why, though?"

"Because, down here, we're going to kill it," Ford declared.

"Nice! How?" Stan asked.

As the elevator stopped and the gate doors opened, Ford smiled. He said, "Let me show you that secret I was telling you about." He pushed out, trailed by Fiddleford and an anxious Stan.

The next room seemed to be a series of control booths. Stan gasped. He'd seen some cool tech from his brother and Fiddleford, but this stuff was military grade-equipment. Energy readings, radioactive measurements, all sorts of gadgets. A panel of windows overlooked a dark, near pitch-black room. Then Fiddleford snapped a series of switches.

A huge platform was revealed, with a triangle and a huge circle. Stan gaped. He'd read enough science fiction magazines and seen television enough to know what he was looking at.

"That's... that's a-"

"Inside!" Ford said, tugging at his brother.

Stan was yanked, still in shock, into the very massive room that housed the device. Fiddleford rushed over to a series of key locks, and began to turn them. A loud whirring started.

"Stan, here's the plan," Ford turned his brother about, facing him, "this device will be on in a few minutes. When powered, it conducts huge amounts of power- enough to possibly destroy this thing be removing all sources of light, possibly being so bright that it will cause all shadows within the vicinity to be extinguished. When that happens-" Ford gasped as Stan threw out his hands and grabbed the collar of his shirt.

"You had something like _THIS_ hidden from me!?" Stan demanded. "A freakin' portal!?"

"Stan, I understand your anger, and maybe even resentment towards me," Ford pleaded, "but we kind of in the middle of something right now!"

"Uh, you two should get away from the opening of the device!" Fiddleford cried out. "Ahh! It's coming!" he shouted.

"Since when did you ever trust me, huh?" Stan barked.

"What?" Ford gasped.

"This! This just shows me that I've been living here, under the idea that you trusted me, and you never have!" Stan yelled. "If this monster hadn't ever shown up, would you _ever_ have told me about this!?"

"Of course!" Ford shouted.

"_Before_ it was working fully?" Stan growled. Ford's face went red. "You wouldn't have!" Stan shouted.

"I'm sorry Stan, I made a promise not to tell anyone about it! He was only comfortable letting Fiddleford know about my projects!" Ford pleaded.

"Yeah, well you can tell your-" Stan froze.

He and Ford both slowly turned towards the glass paneling. There used to be lights within the control room. All they saw was a swirling, smoky entity, as it slowly slid out from the tiniest of cracks in the walls and panels. The two gulped.

"All we need to do is get it to be between the activated portal and those lights," Ford mumbled, pointing to the wall above the control room, where a row of de-activated lights awaited. "We'll turn those on very bright- so it can't leave the space, and then when the portal turns on, it will flood the area with pure, bright energy."

"It sounds like you've seen it on before," Stan growled.

"It's, actually, all just a theory I have," Ford gulped.

Before them it re-collected itself. Standing up to it's tallest, it turned it's head from side to side.

The three gasped as the whispers faded and it spoke. "Stan... Ford... Fiddleford," the voice of a deep, eerie and somehow mischievous voice called out.

Fiddleford slowly squirmed behind the platform he was working on. Stan felt cold sweat on his face, but his brother stepped forward.

"Y-You can speak?" Ford asked.

It nodded. It twitched, as slowly, something began to emerge from it's face. Stan gasped as he saw it materialize out from it's body, a stupid looking yellow mask, placed exactly where a face should be.

"I have come... for..." it's tall figure then whipped forward, the huge mouth of razor-sharp teeth emerging out just underneath the placement of the mask, "YOU!" it roared.

A huge shadowy hand soared out. Stan rolled aside, but Ford gasped, and was slammed to the earth.

"Ford!" Stan yelled. He got up and ran to his brother, but another hand reached out and slapped his body airborne. He flew far and collided with the solid earthen walls. Coming to slid to the ground, he shook his dizzied head. Ford was being lifted, drawn closer to the gaping, pointed maw. "No!" Stan cried out, and pushed himself upright.

He looked to Fiddleford, hiding with his hands over his head. "EGGHEAD!" Stan roared. The scientist cried out and looked up. "How do I turn this on!?"

"Th-that last key needs to be turned on-" Stan reached out to it, and gave it a twist as Fiddleford cried out, "wait! The plan!"

"Plan or not," Stan strongly said as loud gears and strange whirring sounds began in the distance, "I'm saving my brother!" he reached out and grabbed the man, "anything else!?"

Shaking with fear, Fiddleford pointed behind Stan. Stan looked around, and saw it- a large lever in the middle of the room. Dropping the scientist, he rushed for it. He wrapped his hands around the top, and looked up, seeing his brother still struggling to free himself. "HEY!" Stan bellowed, pausing the two.

"Yes?" The said simultaneously.

"Wanna know what's behind door number one!?" Stan shouted as he pulled the lever.

"B-But the plan, Stan!" Ford cried out.

The huge circle behind Stan shimmered with blue and white. The shadow creature hissed and Ford fell, striking the ground with a heavy whack. Stan rushed forward as the shadow creature slowly lifted upwards, wind in the room beginning to stir. "Stanford!" Stan shouted as he arrived by his brother's side.

"I'm okay," Ford gasped, "just sprained an ankle. Where did it-" he gasped as he looked up to his brother, and pointed.

The two turned, and found the gangly being struggling in mid-air trying to reach out to them. Yet, suspended in mid-air, it couldn't move closer. They watched it, almost as if it was suspended in a realm with no gravity.

"Huh. That's weird," Ford noted, and added a note into one of his journals, "it can fly, but does so poorly."

"Huh, stupid. If I could fly, I'd do it right," Stan mocked. "Hey," he looked around, feeling a tremor in the earth, "anyone else feeling a little light headed suddenly?"

Then, without warning, his feet let the earth.

"Whoa!" Stan yelled as he and his brother found themselves suspended in a similar fashion.

Hugging onto the dashboard of the key locks, Fiddleford cried out, resisting the tug of anti-gravity. "This is a bad sign! A negative result! Stanford! What do I do!"

The being turned itself towards the brothers. "You cannot escape me. I shall... hunt you... HUNT YOUUU-"

The portal let out a loud, deep, percussion like wave of energy. Whatever else the being had to say was drowned out by a wailing shriek, as the two airborne men and the being were slammed against the wall. Twins both gasped, as Stan held his gut and Ford his head. The being fought its way, trying to grasp out and grab Stanley.

"Hey, bug off!" Stan said, managing to push himself off the wall, and away from the monster, step by step.

The pull of unseen forces changed. While the twins were still pinned, a new gravimetric forces entered the scene, and the monster was lifted into the air. The portal grew even stronger and brighter. The closer the being floated, the more it's appearance seemed to ripple and singe. Ashes fell away from it, flittering around it like a typhoon.

It roared. "I will _not_ fail my mission!" It then extended it's arm and snatched at Stan. He dodged, but Ford had only just recovered from his headache. The long fingers of the creature wrapped around his middle-section, and Ford was pried away from the walls.

"Hey!" Ford gasped, "let go!"

"Even if I am destroyed by the light, I will accomplish my mission. The light... will... not... extinguish me yet!" it shrieked.

The blood pulsing through Stan's body froze. The portal behind them trembled. Flashes of rainbow stars and nebulous colors swam like a river of madness. Whatever his brother had tried to make with that portal, it wasn't what he had hoped. Every instinct within Stan's body told him that if his brother even touched that portal, something terrible could happen. But the monster was going to take him in with him!

He needed time for a miracle.

With all the bravery he could muster, he pushed off the wall, and drove a kick forward. "Get your slimy claws off my brother!" Stan roared. His foot met against the mask of the creature, which recoiled from the impact. A foot-sized imprint on the face, the being reeled back and let loose Ford.

It collided with the opened portal.

Huge bursts of electrical energy soared around. Air singed. Earth boiled. Rock vaporized from the trails of current darting all around the portal. The being shrieked and squirmed and clawed at the air as it seemed pinned to the portal, but unable to pass through it. The shadow of it's formed was pulled into the color like a vacuum, draining the creature of it's appearance.

"Stan! You need to jump away!" Ford stated.

"Heck no!" Stan yelped.

"We're both floating into the portal!" Ford shouted. "If you use me as a springboard, you can escape! Don't be an idiot!"

Stan grabbed his wrist. "No! I'm not going anywhere without my brother!"

Ford stared at him, the light of the portal growing brighter still. There was no silence in their space- for all the energy roiling around them caused their ears to burn and stiffen with pain. Yet all Ford could do was stare at his brother.

"Stan, I'm sorry about-"

From the distance, someone shouted, "Got it!"

The portal's shocks stopped, and the humming in the air died. The twins fell to the ground with a loud yell, and both landed with hard thunks.

"Aww, oww," Stan groaned, sprawled out onto the floor.

"That... could have gone more gracefully," Ford admitted, pulling himself up slowly.

"I did it!" Fiddleford said, stumbling over. His jacket was half-off, dangling from his arm by the sleeve he wore through it. "I'm sorry it took so long, but my strength versus the new pull of anti-gravity took some accustoming. Took me some time to reach the switch to de-activate the main power. But- aha! The portal is off!" he clapped twice. "Oh and what a trial that was, right Stanford?!" he ran over and helped his boss up. "We'll need to take into the account of what we've seen! The forces we've witnessed today show an immersive gravimetric pull. Shadow and light and material? Total universal attraction! Just think of the ramifications for-"

"DORKS!" Stan shouted and shot up like a rocket. Fiddleford yelped and leapt a foot away, shielding himself as best he could. Ford cringed, but stared at his brother. Stan, having successfully cut their chat, cleared his throat. "Did we win?"

The three turned to face the portal. At the base of the circle, a dusky looking pile of ash smoldered in the dim light of the room. The single smiley mask sat atop it, surprisingly unharmed.

"I would surmise so," Fiddleford guessed.

"I mean, I thought so too," Stan shrugged, "but I'm not the expert on the matter."

The two turned to Ford. He gave them both a quick look, and then straightened his glasses.

"Now, in this case, we are faced with only one real possible course of action. This creature, as we have seen, is entirely born of malice and shadow. While our plan seems to have worked, I would not doubt that there is some buried power within those ashes. While I would love to try some alchemy with that material, my worries for practical safety procedures' tell me we shouldn't. Instead, we're going to remove it's remains, and put them in the only safe place we can." He looked to his two friends. "That's right-"

"-Behind a random bush in the middle of the woods where no one else would go," he concluded, fifteen minutes later, with a shallow hole dug by his brother. "Well, Fiddleford, go ahead and dump it."

Fiddleford McGucket, holding the ashen remains with nothing but a small cardboard box, looked to the small hole in the middle of the woods. He looked to the twins and cringed. "I... I don't know, fellas. If we're truly worried that it could return, is just burying it in the middle of the woods the best idea? What if someone were to build a home atop it? We still have yet to disprove indian burial grounds."

Ford paused, scratching his chin. "I'll be honest. Hadn't considered it. I think, uh, honestly... hm," he put a hand to his wearied face and turned to his brother, holding the shovel. "How about you, Stan? What's your take on this?"

He groaned. "I'm pooped, guys. I just fought a monster, dug it a grave, and now we're having second thoughts? Let's get this over with!"

"Fine by me," Ford shrugged, and nodded to Fiddleford. The smaller man dumped the contents into the hole, and then quickly tossed the box aside. A few pushes with the shovel later, Stan buried the contents of the box within the earth. "There. Like new. Still... residual energy resurgence is possible. I worry we should put up a sign so people know not to come here."

"We are in the middle of the woods, Stanford," McGucket shrugged, "I mean, who's going to come out here? And what they use this ground for, huh? Tossing junk?"

"Maybe bad candy," Ford suggested. He spotted his brother staring at him, a frown on his face. "Speaking of bad candy," Ford snickered, "Stan, you look rather sour for someone that just managed to defeat a shadow creature."

Stan stared at his brother. The silent message was enough to break the grin on his twin.

"Ah, Fiddleford, we'll meet you in a bit," Ford waved behind him.

McGucket looked between them, and nodded, his gaze falling. He passed behind a tree, towards their truck.

"Stan, I imagine you're feeling quite angry at me," Ford managed.

"Angry?!" Stan barked. "You've lied about holding a huge, and clearly dangerous portal underneath where we sleep, and you think I'm _just_ angry!?" Stan gasped for air, leaving Ford crestfallen, holding his six-fingered hand behind his neck. Stan continued, "look, I'll let this slide, but for now on, I'm in on the loop with everything!"

"Stan," Ford sighed.

"No if, ands, or buts! If you want the same labor muscle I've given you for these past months, you keep me in the loop on everything, starting now."

Ford stared at his brother. The expression read to Stan as... thoughtful. Secretive? Stan was ready to point at him, and call him out on whatever he was planning, but too soon Ford nodded.

"Very well. Stan, I'm building a trans-dimensional portal."

"I noticed," Stan rolled his eyes, "by the way, is it supposed to cook you like a thanksgiving turkey?"

"Ah, no," Ford sighed and shook his head, "that's all part of the process of trials. Fiddleford and I had yet to test it. Today was our first run."

"Yeah right! That thing reads more dangerous than anything else I've seen so far!" Stan barked.

"Stan, please," Ford pleaded, coming closer, and putting his hands on his shoulder, "I've almost made things, Stan. I want to make the world a better place, not blow it up. Please, this portal looks scary because it's not fully tested or complete. I swear, I mean for only the best."

Stan gulped. The sincere worry in his brother's eyes and voice unnerved him.

"But-"

"Consider letting me try first, okay?" Ford said, and then stood up fully. "You owe me that much, Stanley."

Stanley stood there, the memory of breaking the perpetual energy device ringing fresh in his brain. Closing his eyes to what even he could see as seemingly fair, he nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll letcha do whatever with this thing. But you tell me right now if there aren't any other secrets I need to know about!"

Ford smiled, and rested a hand on Stan's shoulder, inviting him to walk. "Of course not. No more secrets as long as you just let me work on the portal, okay?" Ford asked, a smile growing across his face.

Stan watched him, and then mirrored the smile. "Course!"

* * *

"I felt him cross his fingers together, on my back," Stan said, speaking to Arline as she sat on the edge of the portals platform. "So I crossed mine too. I never stopped checking in on the portal, and I never stopped listening into Ford. What I ended up figuring out was wrong; I thought he was going crazy. Didn't think a demon monster was having him build this machine."

"Stan..." Arline said, her voice soft and quiet, "I'm so... sorry. That's pretty-"

"Rough, yeah," Stan nodded, scratching the back of his grey hair. "I always wanted to really go up against him, you know? Tell him I didn't buy it. But... he seemed so excited!" he groaned, "I mean, he held that thing I did in highschool over my head every time I got closer to calling him on his bull. If I had just stood my ground again like I used to..."

"But, if you didn't," Arline said, "what really happened?"

Stan gave her a strong look. "We tested the portal. Fiddleford got his head tossed inside, but we yanked him out. What he saw wasn't good. He left, and wanted nothing to do with us. Started going crazy soon after. Ford tried going on, but we got into a fight. During that fight... I accidentally knocked him into the portal."

"And... you pulled him... oh," she gasped, putting a hand to her mouth.

"The next time I'd see him, I'd try again to be his brother. But he was puppet. A minion under control by Bill Cipher. He got the portal to what it was supposed to be- some sort of reality cracker, not a portal. If it wasn't for Mabel and Dipper... our world might have been toast," he groaned. "All because I let my brother push me around."

"Family's important, Stan," Arline said, "sometimes we do crazy things for family," she admitted, looking to her own hands.

"Yeah? Good," Stan brushed his shoulders, "then you understand why if I think, for a moment, you're even considering yourself over my grand-kids, I'll punch your lights out."

Arline stared at him. Her soft expression had hardened at his words, but only for a moment. She then smiled, and nodded. "I read you loud and clear, you old bull."

"Hah! Yeah right you do," he smirked, and rubbed his back. "Ahh... gettin' too old for this 'saving the world' crud."

"Well, Stan," Arline stood up, "I'll be upstairs, okay? Just in case the twins come back early and wonder if everyone in the shack just _vanished_ forever."

"Hah! Vanished," Stan sighed, "riiight."

She waved to him as she passed, and he patted her shoulder. A few quiet moments later, Stan stood in the room, alone, staring at the Portal.

Step by step, he approached the lever, resting his hands on it. But he slid past it, and stared at the empty space between the two sides of the portal. Then he rested a hand on the cold metal, and sighed softly.

"Hey brother," he softly muttered, "still can't hear me, right?" His words were so quiet they would not echo in the silent chamber. "You know, I still don't blame you, right?" he said, awaiting a reply. "I really don't, bro. I messed up for you once, just once, and look what it did. Made you obsessed with proving to people you were worth something, something truly great."

He turned away, leaving the cold, dark portal be. Each step echoed with a grittiness as gravel scraped against metal and under his shoes. At the door he turned around, staring at the portal once more.

"You... you never had to prove a thing to me," he said, a terrible somberness wracking his heart. After his final words rang in the room, he turned away and flicked off the lights, plunging the portal into darkness.

* * *

Just one of many alterations of the past. Having a specific turn of events, while not in the original series, is actually still... canon. HOW, you might ask? Well, I'm glad you ask. Because soon, you'll find out. Like in the actual series. Yeah. I know I've been making some promises about that stuff, and I'm going to see those promises pay off.

Hope you guys enjoyed this! Writing Ford/Stan/McGucket was a weird change for me. Young McGucket is a hard character to nail since we only really have two legitimate clips of him before going nuts, and both portray different aspects of his character. Hopefully you liked it, anyway.

Anyway, we're going back to the main gang in the next upload! They've moved quite a bit since the debacle in the south with all those ghosts, and Mabel being possessed again. Where, you might ask? Well, they've figured going north is the right idea, and they've made it into Yank territory. The land, or burg, of Pitt is where they head. The title? 'Fight or Flight'. Hope you know what that means... ;)

Anyway, glad to be back.

Uh... You know what that means.

Yeah. (EZB clenches himself in his arms) be swift, death!

The Grim Reaper: Yeah, okay, sure. (He takes a nice, quick swing with his scythe, beheading EZB in a bloodless display. The body of EZB collapses. The Grim Reaper gives a thumbs up.) No mess! No Fuss! Call now to order your very own personal 'Soul-Slicer Two-Hundred'! Only available for a short time, at nineteen ninety nine! Shipping free!

* * *

**(Vigenere)**

Oyxx rfs, psbcczs me pli csmf, mvv si? Xusn iar'k zs, ql xluqruo. Rsj, A'g zax du fvblbqd, flp xlnl dgex nkr'x qg. Sag fvox orwj yazzjk jbjqmdh ceoi gzy sasu hmxgdy euqghi pvfymd qlhxm-pwfxgprn wecayzf fverk lgo mdi sajsew C pqgzzi xb euwq ee wpxrjufuse kr cbml bmwk. Plmf am kayi hewg oudzmec fc Lglq.


	87. Fight or Flight: Part 1

Gentle thunder rumbled over the almost midnight sky over the dense city of the eastern coast city. The recent rain had left it's mark through a thick humidity that clung to the skin and enhanced the scents of the town. Against the roof of a tall apartment building, the lights of the distant Pitt factory shone in the unmoving puddles. The gravel stones under the stagnant rainfall broke apart the image, leaving a gentle pink and gold aura on the flat surface.

Something distantly thudded. The water rippled, cascading the gentle image into disarray. The same ripples came again, and again. Faster and faster the grew until it was a trembling.

A foot splashed into the puddle, the owner running as fast as they could across the rooftop. Immediately afterwards another pair of feet splashed across the surface.

Two figures in heavy, dark grey hoodies ran across the wetted gravel. The front figure, a few feet taller than the second, leapt over a large heating pipe easily. The second figure ducked underneath, pushing away and looking behind themselves briefly. A flash of bright blue under the hoodie from the person's eyes witnessed a coming danger. She gasped and darted ahead as something tiny struck where she had just been, tossing gravel into the air.

The two rushed ahead, avoiding several more projectiles. The front figure glanced of their shoulder.

In the distant, he saw him. The man with the duster, holding the weapon. It was aimed at them again.

"Duck!" the front one said, and threw himself flat on the ground. The second figure followed suit, and they both avoided another one of the objects, which this time stuck into a wooden sign at the edge of the building. It was a needle the size of a pencil.

The smaller of the two rushed up, but the other was cringing. mopping the water off their front, the person, sounding male and whiney said, "aww, that's soo gross!"

"Jace, we complain later!" the smaller one shouted, pulling him aside as another dart barely missed her.

"It's in my pants now," the taller one grumbled as he stood, "freakin' cold!"

Back on their feet, they turned, and found themselves off the edge of an apartment. The two with blue eyes looked around, seeing a motel below them that had a similar rooftop, but some twenty feet below.

"We have to jump," Jace decided.

"We'll be in the open!" the smaller one cried out.

"We're in the open _now_!" Jace retorted.

She growled. "I'll re-phrase: we'll _really_ be in the open!"

They glared at each other, snarling. Then a bright light turned to them from several dozen feet away. Instinctively, the taller one grabbed the smaller one and roared. With as mighty of a toss as he could manage, he threw the other off the side of the building.

"Jace!" the smaller one cried, looking over their shoulder.

She didn't have time to see what had happened behind them. Instead, the pulled off the jacket, and extended their arms. Brown and golden feathers erupted from the person's arms, along with cornsilk blonde hair that billowed behind her as she glided towards the motel rooftop.

The strange sound of 'Boomph' made the girl look over her shoulder. A figure was looking down on her, alone, but holding something in his hands. More importantly, a wad of material had been shot straight at her!

She cried out and spun about, trying to catch it- but too late! The wad of material expanded out and became a huge, knotted net. The girl screamed and fell ten feet behind her, slamming into the rooftop with a heavy slam.

The air escaped her lips and she slid to a stop. Her vision trembled and her lungs struggled to contract. She felt too dizzy to remember which way was up.

Then her sense of direction came to after a heavy thud rocked the ground under her. She looked through the net, and saw him.

The dark figure snickered, a heavy and satisfied grumble. A small light flickered out from his hand, and a cigarette was lit a moment later. Shaking off the match and tossing it aside, the man, now smoking his cigarette approached, holding a strange multi-barreled device. It almost looked like a machine gun rifle of some sort, but there was no magazine, and the scope for magnifying vision was the length of the gun itself.

He curled a lip in a grin as his eyes reflected the small pinpoint of light. "Jessandra Boreas," he said in a calm, deep voice.

"Leave me alone," she warned, her lips trembling.

"Calm down, tweety bird," the man said, approaching.

"Coming from the person who shot me out of the sky? No thanks," she said, trying to shove the net away from her.

_Shiiing_. Jess flinched, and looked up. The lowest barrel of the device opened a cartridge which fell out. As the large, almost fist sized spent cartridge fell and clattered on the wet gravel, the figure smiled and loaded another in. With a quick push and cocking motion, he lowered the gun and took a long, deliberate drag on his cigarette.

"I said don't move, tweety bird," he warned, still grinning.

Jess scowled as her face felt red. "I don't even know how to tell you that it's stupidly rude to call a harpy a 'tweety bird'."

"I'm not sure I'd care even if you tried, you inhuman," the man said, and stepped closer. "But here's what we're going to do," he said, taking the cigarette between his fingers and flicking the spent ashes aside before puffing smoke at Jess, who coughed, "I'm going to ask the same question I wanted to before you and your brother made this difficult, got it?"

Jess looked up to him, barely able to register his apparel and features aside from his face. In the shadows, all she could make was his shape: a chiseled jaw and graying scruff along his chin.

"First question, little bird," he asked, "you went to a town called Gravity Falls?"

Jess blinked. "Never heard of it."

"Don't try me," he sneered and lowered the business end of the weapon to her face. She flinched and recoiled away. "I may not want to cause permanent damage, but I'll reconsider morals in the face of a complete job." After she shivered and looked away, he nodded. "Now. Answer the question."

"How do you know about Gravity Falls?" Jess asked, looking back, tears in her eyes. Though her voice never cracked, he hands trembled as she held arms. "No one else remembers it, and it just vanished in all sources."

"I don't, personally," he admitted, "but my employer does. And he knows that some harpies, a boy and girl, roughly your age," he flicked cigarette ashes at her, "stopped by in this imaginary place. So... I'm guessing that was a 'yes' to my question?" he asked. She said nothing. "Good. Now, number two," he leaned in closer, "Dipper and Mabel Pines: where are they?"

"How should I know?" she asked honestly.

"It's for your best interests not to test my patience, little bird," he snickered. Jess instead spat at him. He barely moved as her spit struck his cheek. He stood up, and sighed. "Well, when talking does work, kidnapping tends to," he sighed, and adjusted a knob on the middle barrel. "When you wake up, I'll be reminding you, little bird," he aimed the gun for her gut, "that I told you s-"

A form in flight slammed into the man's shoulder, knocking him backwards. With a loud grunt and outcry he shot into the open sky as his finger slipped against the trigger. As he struggled for footing in the slippery rooftop, the airborn figure charged again and leapt into the air, flapping his arms which held a beautiful array of greens, gold, blue, and orange feathers. Propelled a foot higher than he could have normally jumped, Jace Boreas delivered a kick into the man's chest, throwing him backwards.

The man slipped off the edge and began to fall. He never even yelled more than a simple grunt as he shot out his arm behind him. From under his sleeve a small grappling hook head shot out and slammed into the brick wall. Imbedded with the wall, the man didn't fall, but instead slammed into the hard brick surface. He grunted as he cigarette fell from him, disappearing into the dark ground some thirty feet below him. Groaning, he began to push himself up against the wall, climbing back up with only his feet and one arm, as in the other he still held his hunting tool.

By the time he had reached the surface of the roof, the only thing awaiting was the net. He spat on the ground and sighed as he climbed back over the ledge. Standing off the ground and dusting himself from the grime he had collected, the man place the large rifle-like tool over his shoulder.

A heavy sigh fell from him, and he reached into a pocket within his knee-length trench coat. Withdrawing a large phone, he flipped it open to a large screen. Looking through his contacts, he slides his finger across the screen until a single name appears: Leuthar. He pressed the name, and he held the phone a foot from his face.

Then, a moment later, the face of Alvis Leuthar appeared.

"Mister Jeffreys. It is rather early to be... did you find the twins already?" the man asked, his sleepy voice jumping to at a possible realization.

"I'm on their trail, mister Leuthar," the man, Mister Jeffreys claimed. "I found the harpies and their children. It's only a matter of time."

"Ah," Leuthar, nodded his head, and rubbed his eyes. "Mister Jeffreys, I understand that professionalism is your motto, but reporting in at midnight-"

"Three A.M. to be specific," he corrected.

"I'm on the west coast, sir," Leuthar growled.

Mister Jeffreys stiffened. "Apologies."

"As I was saying," Leuthar shook his head, "I appreciate your candidness in reporting in. However, this update does not please me, and therefore will absolutely not please my boss."

"I was under the impression mister Kinley was very excited to work with me," Jeffreys admitted, "after all, he called _me_ first."

"Do not get a head over yourself, Alberta," Alvis Leuthar barked. "We would have called Montana had we known where to contact him, but since the beginning of this summer, he has gone missing!" Leuthar snapped, leaving Alberta Jeffreys standing cold in the rain with a stony face. "Now, be a good professional hunter, hitman, and assassin, and go find me the twins!"

After a scowl, the man nodded. "Just the twins?" he asked.

"For now," Leuthar nodded, "they will lead us to something more... important to our plans. Someone far more valuable than any normal human..."

* * *

Out of the car, into the early morning air, and a blasting bellow that sent all pidgeons in half a mile flying for their lives heralded the world of Mabel's triumphant arrival. "Look out world!" Mabel declared as she put her foot up on something, letting the gentle morning breeze kick up her hair up, "Mabel is here to save your everything!"

"Mabel," a voice behind her called out, belonged to by her brother, Dipper, "who are you even talking to? You're looking out over the cliff."

Mabel turned about half way. "The entire city, duh! Who else would someone like myself talk to?"

"The seagulls!" Soos cried out.

"Also true," Mabel grinned.

Dipper sighed and shook his head as he walked towards a vending machine. It had been a long, very long and very taxing drive from Georgia. They had passed through more states than Mabel could remember on the east coast of the United States. She had been shocked that there had been a North _and_ South Carolina, and then equally confused when there had been a West Virgina, but not an _East_ Virgina. "Seriously?" she had asked. "Did the pilgrims come and set up just so everywhere they went would be super confusing?! Why not just call it stuff like Maryland? Or Mabel-land!"

Since the drive, the gang had been under radio silence with Zander and his band of professional martial artists with an elemental touch. However, the four had kept a close on their newest member: a youthful Stanford Pines.

His voice shared with the open air as he yawned. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "Pittsburg has really changed since I last saw it."

"The miracles of modern technology and stuff," Soos claimed as he walked next to him, "want a soda? I got some Pitt. I hear it's even fresher in this city than anywhere else."

"Thank you, Soos," Ford grasped a soda and opened it with the same satisfying hiss. "Ahh, refreshing. And entirely non-organic! Just the way soda aught to be."

"They have a pit of a peach inside it," Mabel argued, coming closer, "it's not fake."

"Mabel, trust me. I probably know more about nutrition than you would fashion choices, and that's saying something. Why, go ahead and ask me anything of this soda," he said, holding it away from his gaze.

"Hm," she gazed at her own can, taken from Soos's arms, "what is... the total carb stuff in-"

"Forty one," Ford stated, "sodium should be 41, and total calories should be, oh, uh, one hundred and thirteen."

Mabel stared at him, a deflated look in her eyes. "You win today, magic scientist," she grumbled and handed back Soos the Soda.

Returning from the Machines with armfulls of snack bags and drinks, Dipper deposited them in the back of his car seats. "Speaking of today," he said as he leaned up, "Ford, I wanted us to have a chat."

"Oh. You and I, Dipper?" Ford asked.

"All of us," Dipper said, glancing back to a motorcycle belonging to Mabel, currently being used by a certain red-head, who was looking out to the City across the river. Wendy turned to Dipper, catching his gaze. After a moment, she slid off the bike and started moving over to them.

"Well then, just what else is there to talk about?" Ford asked. "Along the way we've had a chat about rules concerning physical distant between you four and I, about taking multiple tests to ensure absolute lack of demonic control, which I have," he added, "and no less than five separate times I had to re-explain that I am not your enemy," he said with a tone of frustration.

"Still could use more convincing," Dipper quietly admitted.

"I'm not sure I can offer much more," Ford sighed, "I've not done anything to hinder you, my aid back in Georgia was, I would hope, appreciated, and now we're nearing my home state territory."

Wendy rounded the corner of Stanley's El Diablo, or Soos's ride. She said, "Listen, so far I don't have any reason to doubt you, but we don't have all that much leeway to be trusting man. I mean, people are trying to stop us from saving the world. So, don't take it personal when I say it's going to take more than a few nice words and one time we had to work together to make me trust you."

"Ditto," Dipper said, crossing his arms, "except I have a lot more reasons."

"All of which I have heard, thank you," Ford sighed.

Soos stepped closed to Ford, "Listen Mister Ford," he said, "as far as I'm concerned, you don't seem to be the other Ford that I met once. You helped Dipper and Mabel and Wendy and I defeat a whole island of spooky scary skele-things and ghosts. So, I sorta trust you."

"Ah. Well, thank you for the vote of confidence," Ford nodded and patted Soos's shoulder.

"Besides, you're probably the closest thing to seeing Mister Pines I'll ever have again," Soos quietly said, seeming crestfallen.

Ford blinked and retracted his hand. "Right. Well." He turned to Mabel. "Do I need to watch myself around you, Mabel?"

"Nah," she shrugged.

"Oh good," he sighed.

"I mean, you try anything, and I'll break your hand," Mabel admitted cheerily. Stanford gulped and nodded. "And since you don't seem too evil, I'm especially okay with you!"

"Good by me," Ford nodded, and he turned back to Dipper. "I'll note that while a fifty percent is by no means a success in school, it still means no majority. Unless you want to really point something out that makes me a liability, Dipper, I am your ally now."

Dipper clenched his jaw. The day and a half of driving through the five states had allowed the tensions of battling the undead to weather away. Granted, Ford had been curiously helpful to the gang after Soos made a wrong turn which led them into West Virgina. Reservations still were locked into Dipper's brain. His fingers idly traced one of the journals he held in his vest, feeling the weight of the pages written and ink spent upon them.

"Dipper, please," Ford asked, "you don't have to trust me, I won't force you to make that choice. But be scientific about this," he said.

Dipper sighed. "Fine," he nodded, "I'll let evidence speak to the hypothesis, and not the other way around."

"Thank you," Ford nodded gently. "Now," he spun towards Mabel and looked over her head. "Pittsburg!" he cried out, "what brings us here?"

"Supposedly we're getting a call from Zander here," Dipper said as the five moved closer to the edge of the river.

"Ah yes, the person you work with," Ford summarized with an air of snarkiness, "and is far, far more suspicious than _I_, but yet has his orders complied with regardless."

"Don't worry, Grunkle Ford," Mabel patted his arm, "Dipper doesn't really trust Zander, but he totally should," Mabel glared at her brother, "and even though he doesn't trust you, you look really handsome considering you're technically sixty eight!"

Grunkle Stan looked to her, and then chuckled. "Hah!" he barked. "Talk about a silver lining to missing out on thirty years of life! I really must look great for my age."

"Good to know my handsome genes will still be kicking at thirty," Mabel beamed and strutted by. Ford laughed and shook his head, and continued to drink away at his soda, grinning to himself. As Mabel passed by Wendy, who winked at her, she saw Dipper glaring over her shoulder. "Really, bro?" she asked with a near whisper.

"Just because I can agree to wait for evidence to speak for itself doesn't mean that I have to like the situation," Dipper mumbled, "there's too many questions for him to be a safe bet."

"But he's been nice so far," Mabel said.

"So?" Dipper asked.

"So, well, if he was under the control of Bill Cipher, wouldn't he be trying to do nasty evil stuff like last time?" Mabel asked.

"Bill had a specific plan last time: use the portal to assume physical form and enter the world through Stanford. He managed to get unlocked before blowing up the portal, which means he's got other plans," Dipper rationalized, "which means that there could be a whole new set of plans he's given to Stanford."

"Like what?" Mabel rolled her eyes.

"I don't know," Dipper hissed, "that's the annoying part."

Mabel nodded, and leaned in with a grin. "Innocent until proven guilty."

The words she used drove an annoyingly true steak into Dipper's mind. He had been assuming a lot of guilt onto Ford. Now, Dipper would never stop being suspicious, but certainly his placement of blame was driven a bit more out of personal experiences with, according to Stanford, was a different person altogether: another version of Stanford.

When he looked over Mabel's shoulder to check on his estranged grand uncle, he gasped. The man was holding on of the journals!

"Hey!" Dipper barked, pushing past Mabel.

"Be easy on him, Dippity-doo-daah!" Mabel called.

Ford looked up after adjusting his reading glasses, "Yes?" he asked.

"What exactly are you doing with my journals?" Dipper snapped.

Ford raised an eyebrow. "Well, for one, they're actually my journals, as you're forgetting. Two, I needed to update a theory I had on spectral levels and controls. Although," he checked the front of the book, which had a number two carved within it, "I don't think this is the book I wrote my detailed analysis on incorporeal undead haunting levels."

Dipper paused, his mouth slightly open. At first he had been ready to debate the need of keeping Ford away from his own sources, as he still didn't have proof for trusting him, but then he just started talking. The way he talked about his knowledge and need to update... it was hypnotic. Dipper shook his head, trying to remove the wonderful internal swooning his brain had just done.

"Look Ford, I know they're yours technically," Dipper started, "but the last time we had you-"

"Dipper, please," Ford asked, his eyes looking in earnest to the boy, "I am _not_ that person you met years ago. To me, we've never met before, which is still soo strange to think that my younger brother had children who then went ahead and had children themselves. Man," he scratched his chin, covered with scruff, "makes you really think about things."

Dipper paused, watching him again. "Even... even if you were a version of Ford that I had never met before, and you had no real connection to Bill-"

"Ah!" Ford suddenly blurted out as he turned a page, "I thought I had forgotten to write something on that." He patted his pockets and withdrew a pen, "lets add a new element to this formula here," he said.

Dipper couldn't resist. To watch the author himself begin writing a note was too much. Quietly he sidestepped around the book until he could look over Ford's arm, seeing what he was writing.

"That's an incantation," Dipper mused as he watched.

"Oh!" Ford gasped, seeing Dipper next to him, "yes. It's an older one. Telekinesis is a popular spell to perform, but has a long verbal component. Before this all happened, I chanced across a way to reduce the need for a verbal component by placing the spell into an object that could focused upon."

"That..." Dipper scowled. "I met someone who had used that method."

"Oh! Was it successful?" Ford asked, turning to him, "where there specific limitations? I had only written a theory on the concept of spell-docking. To think it worked-"

"A punk named Gideon used it to terrorize people who he didn't like," Dipper growled.

"Gideon?" Ford asked, an eyebrow raised, "I... huh... well, sorry that it was met in the wrong hands. Magic, like many great utilities," Ford sighed, "can be easily turned into a weapon."

Dipper frowned and pocketed his hands. "I guess."

"Dipper, don't let that cloaked know-it all tell you what you can and cannot do," Ford declared, gaining Dipper's attention suddenly. "He may believe that magical dependency is a condition, but I've spent more than five years testing the limits of magical charms, protective barriers, and incantations. Does it look like I've become dependent on magic? Floating around instead of walking?"

Ford had a point, and it was the same point Dipper had in his head all along. He had rarely used magic, and if he wanted to go out on a stretch, he had gone out and used magical objects, and he was always depending on them all the time either. The idea filled into Dipper's mind like a flood, and for the first time, he nodded in agreement.

"I just think that magic is really, uh, misrepresented, "Dipper explained.

"Well, considering the people you've said you've run into, a Sorcerer and Warlock, "Ford explained, "I can see why. Sorcerers are those who have more in-tuned magical prowess, but Warlocks take their magic to dangerous extremes. They may be the most terrible of the lot of magical theorists and practitioners, and that even includes clown magicians."

Dipper shuddered, "Those exist?"

"Sadly, yes," Ford nodded somberly, "and are easily the scariest of the casters. Imagine someone who makes a magical incantation using no other words but honks and beeps." Dipper snorted, holding a hand to his mouth. "No, I'm serious," Ford protested in earnest.

"Considering the things we've seen, I don't doubt it," Dipper managed. The two chuckled for a moment, and Ford gave the teen a quizzical glance.

"Dipper, just why is it you don't use the spells I've recorded?" Ford asked.

"Uhh," Dipper blinked, "That's a kind of forward question."

"Sorry. You just strike me as the type that values pragmatic solutions," Ford explained, "and when it comes to magic, nothing can be less pragmatic."

Dipper paused. "Pragmatic. Like... being realistic. Magic?" he re-stated.

"Yes, yes, I know it's a tad strange, but seriously!" Ford declared, "the source of magic is a mystery that seems as endless and forthgiving as the powers that fuel life itself! Why not use it to aid life to it's fullest?" He leaned closer to Dipper and lowered his voice, "I did some research into the matter, and found out that just over four hundred years ago, there was almost a peak in magical usage."

Dipper also leaned in. "You said four hundred years?"

"Yes!" Ford nodded excitedly, "just imagine- right before the boom in technological advancement, we almost had a golden age in arcane studies! And then... something just cancelled it all out," Ford grumbled, "my thoughts are that the age of persecutions and xenophobia killed all desire to use things considered magic."

Dipper bit his tongue. The things he had learned this summer regarding the advancement of magic almost had him blurt out some answers right onto Stanford. He remembered what the Guardsman- no, what Zander had told him.

_'Long ago, more than four hundred actually, a great mage crafted it to save the world.'_ Dipper heard the words of, at the time, the rather excited sounding Zander from under his voice-distorting mask. _'It, at the time, instantly absorbed eighty percent of all magic on earth and around earth.'_ Dipper had the answer to what had happened, and that weighed greatly in his mind as a chip.

"You know," Dipper said, considering his options, "maybe we could figure out what really happened?" Ford looked to him, giving his glasses a brief adjustment. "Maybe if you, uh, taught me a thing or two you know about magic, I'd consider-"

Ford laughed. "Of course! Any chance to begin explaining my life's work in magic thesis sounds exciting! So, if you want to learn magic, we'd start with-"

"Hold it!"

Mabel darted around the car, and grasped Dipper's scruff. "Just one sec, Grunkle Ford!" she snorted, "Gotta chat with my bro-dee-bro!"

"Uhh, sure thing," he said, watching Dipper gag as he was dragged away.

Some ten feet away, Dipper wrung himself free from his sister's iron grip. "The heck, Mabel!?"

"Bro, you can't be serious about learning magic, of all things!" she whispered.

"So? What if he teaches me about how to counter magic?" Dipper said, "defensive counter actions. Didn't think of that, did you?"

"I did!" Mabel hissed, "it's called _dodging_ Dipper."

"It's not just-"

"Dipper, Zander asked us not to get into magic. He's done nothing but trying to make this whole thing better and better, and I think we should trust him. I mean, he's probably like six hundred years old or something," she laughed, "I'd trust his opinion of magic over Ford's."

Dipper scowled, and looked over his shoulder. Ford was again looking again into his journal, and the man cast a look out towards the city. Though it hurt Dipper to think that he could trust anything about Zander, Mabel did have a point. Zander, in the guise of the Guardsman, had battled Omir Steindorf, the impossibly strong Sorcerer and former Warlock of older times. He had fought directly against terrible magic and come out alive. Still... Ford's intellect was something Dipper hated to pass up on. He turned back to his sister, her eyes wide and shining with a mixture of worry and care. He sighed, ventilating his frustration.

"Mabel, I'm not going dark side, okay?" he said, "I promise you."

"Okay. I just worry, you know?" she nervously chuckled, "someone like the Gaurdsman is scared by magic, how bad can it be?" she said.

"Maybe he's just that biased," Dipper suggested.

Wendy walked by, "I know _I_ am."

"You've got reason to be," Dipper called to her as she walked towards her bike. He looked back to his sister and patted her shoulder. "No dark-siding today."

She smiled. "Tootin' right. We should get in the city, right?"

"No idea," Dipper said, walking back to Soos and Ford. "Wendy," he called over his shoulder, drawing her attention. "So, uh, guys," he said, rubbing his hands together, "Zander wants to call us soon. He also said that we shouldn't linger anywhere for more than an hour, unless he finds us a safe spot."

"Which, I shall point out, he has yet to do," Ford grumbled.

"Considering these jerks use magic and are super-rich or whatever," Mabel added, "I can see why it's so hard. It's like if Pacifica could use mind-reading! She could bribe you with exactly what you'd want."

"Who?" Ford asked. Mabel's cheery smile drooped slightly.

"Forget it," she sighed.

"But if we wait here too long, we risk supposedly being seen," Dipper reminded them, "but we should consider a place to go. Any ideas-"

"OHH!" Soos's hand shot up," ohh! Ohh! OHHH!-"

"Soos!" Dipper cried out, "yes? What?"

"The original Pitt-Cola factory!" Soos declared.

"The what?" the two ladies cried out while Ford nodded.

Soos gasped and pointed to the city sky-line. "Why, it's only one of America's greatest wonders! The original Pitt cola factory built in nineteen oh nine! Forged on the backs of child labor and other neato turn of the century stuff, the legend says that it was built out of only material that grew from peach trees!"

"Including the metal?" Dipper asked.

"Yeah, so they say," Soos smiled.

"While I think they disproved that one year after opening," Ford declared, "each slab of wood in that building _is_ actually made from a peach tree. It's a wonder it still stands," Ford shrugged.

"I didn't know Pitt was an east coast soda," Mabel hummed, "does that mean we've been betraying our local flavors for the tide of peach flavored sugar drink!?"

"Not really dude," Wendy said, "I think the closest thing we had in Gravity Falls for local flavors was whatever that occasional liquorish flavor in the water was, and then Toby Determined's attempt at creating a hard drink with pineapples."

"Oh, that liquorish flavor?" Ford asked, "that's from a rare Dryad tree in the wilds. It can cause people to act more chaotically and free of spirit."

"Woah, dude," Wendy put a hand to her forehead, "my entire freshmen year explained."

"So, how about?" Soos asked, approaching the four, "we could stop by the Pitt Factory?"

"Ohhh... sure," Dipper shrugged, "sounds kinda cool, really."

"Yush!" Soos pumped his arm up and down, "to the source of all sugary goodness!"

With their new caravan of three cars, one of which was stolen, and a bike, the gang started their hike into the greater downtown of Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. The city, despite warnings from Ford before they left, had a good air of it. It was not nearly as dense as other major cities the twins had passed through, but the tempered air of the humid summer morning made it more passable than they had expected.

The journey to the Pitt Cola factory was not a difficult one. Dozens of signs and directions were laid out from the highway exits, leading would-be tourists right to one of the greater attractions of the city. They could see it past various shorter motels and more historical buildings, but the closer they got, the hard it became to spot as other, more modern and tall buildings enclosed them in the streets.

Finally, Dipper slowed to a stop in right before the turn to the parking lot. As he slowed, his willingness to entreat Soos diminished. He reached inside his pocket, and dialed feverishly, and Mabel turned to him.

"Dip?" she asked.

"This place is _crowded_," Dipper mumbled.

As he got to the same program that allowed group phone calls, he realized just how right he was. This place was a hot tourist spot. If Grunkle Stan had ever seen this, his jealousy would have spiked. Easily fifty or so people were just standing around, taking photographs of the front of the building, let alone going inside. He even saw a line to enter the building, with a ten-minute wait.

The conference call started, and Dipper started. "Guys," he gulped, "this suddenly seems less like something we should do."

Soos was first to speak up. "Aww, come on dawg, a ten minute wait for a tour is nothing."

"Not that," Dipper said, "it's the attention this place is getting," he explained.

"Naturally a lot," Soos agreed.

Ford put in his two cents. "Dipper isn't wrong: this place has quite the focus on it."

Wendy pitched in. "Be pretty hard to not get spotted in there."

Ford laughed. "Nonsense! Having a crowd surrounding you is just what you need to avoid being spotted. One of the best tricks into being unseen is finding yourself looking perfectly incautious. Joining a random crowd when we're on the run?"

"See? Ford thinks it's a good idea," Soos said.

"I would like to point out, however," Ford started, "that it would require a certain amount of self-maintenance. We must appear as the crowd would, and nothing more."

Next to Dipper, Mabel shrugged. "We've done harder things that sink into a crowd of random tourists."

Dipper chewed his lip, and glanced back to the building. Something in his gut warned him about this. He couldn't pin-point it, but it was there: this underlying fear of being discovered again. It had been several days since their last encounter with Graupner's goons and their resources, and Dipper didn't want to see that return already. Still, Soos had been more than helpful thus far, and if they were quick and quiet about this...

"Okay, let's go in quickly," Dipper decided.

"YUSH!" Soos cried out.

"But let's be qui-" the phones began to turn off, and Dipper glared at his own, "ugh... great. Well, damage control with Soos might be a thing," Dipper worried.

"Nah, this is going to be cool!" Mabel decided, "just imagine, the five of us taking a small little break. Walking around, with no worries, and only the smell of crushed, added sugar, caffeinated peach drink to accompany us... and maybe twenty other tourists."

"That last part is the thing that worries me," Dipper sighed, and had the car pull forward.

Finding a parking spot was no issue, as the parking lot seemed to have been built to accommodate a much larger scene than the one that had arrived. However, it was the middle of the week, and while schools hadn't started up again, lots of people still worked. The four vehicles found themselves a corner spot, and the five approached the entrance.

"This is going to be so swell," Soos chuckled, "if we ever get a chance to make a homage to the Mystery Manor, think of all the neat tricks we can come up with from this place! Mister Pines would be soo excited!"

"I would be?" Ford asked, and then slapped his head, "ah. Right."

Dipper chuckled. "That's not a bad idea, actually," he said, "something to remember Grunkle Sta-" As he spoke, Wendy stopped dead in her tracks. Having been next to her the entire time, seeing her eyes jut wide and he suddenly look up into the tall smoke stacks of the factory, her pupils contracting. "Uhh, hold up," Dipper called out.

The three paused and turned, seeing Dipper, and then seeing Wendy. Soos nervously laughed. "Wendy? Wassup dawg?"

She looked to the others. "Uh... that crazy wraith senses tingling," she mentioned.

"I'm still curious as to how that works," Ford mused.

"What is it?" Mabel asked.

Wendy pointed up to the smoke stack. "We're being watched. Just us."

Dipper spun and looked up himself. Three tall pink and grey smokestacks rose into the grim looking sky, almost swallowed by low-hanging clouds. Yet, as his eyes focused, he did see something. A figure, crouched on a circular platform. Holding something in his hands. At the distance he was, Dipper couldn't see where he was focusing, but Wendy's unnatural senses had been right too many times before. If she said that he was watching them, he was watching them.

"Change of plans," Dipper announced, "we leave now."

"Lets hurry," Wendy urged.

"Welp, another time, attraction of the eastern coast," Soos sadly said, and the five turned.

Behind them, walking around their cars, were six men. Each held a strange looking weapon of sorts- triple barreled, and each barrel of a different size. The five paused, aware of their position. One in the middle approached them, holding out his own weapon, and lifted his head into a bold grin.

Chizzled in face and scarred across one eye, the man held a mix of rugged attractiveness and masculine toughness. His hair, brown with streaks of gray, was unkempt and fell almost over his eyes, dark and powerful. His lips gently held a half spent cigarette, and he puffed out a wisp of smoke.

"Well, well, well," he chuckled as the five behind him approached as well, flanking his sides, "didn't think it'd be that easy."

"Gentlemen," Ford blurted out, "I don't believe we have business with one another."

The leader gave Ford a hard eye. "You? No." He turned to the twins. "Them? Well... different story."

"Us?" Mabel gasped, and then paused, "I'm getting some really big déjà vu here."

Dipper turned and stared at the man as well. Indeed, looking at the person's face was the strangest feeling. The image looked... incomplete. Like he was missing a feature. Almost as if they'd met before. Dipper scowled, and clenched his fist. "Who're you?"

"Just a man with a job," he said, flicking ashes from his cigarette, "a job to find Dipper and Mabel Pines." The Ford stepped forward with Soos and Wendy. "And only them," he said with a grin, "so step aside you lot."

"Now listen here," Ford grumbled, "we're on a mission just a bit more important than battling head-hunters. So, unless you intend to save the world with us, I'm going to have to ask you... whoever you are," Ford added with a blink, "to leave. Now."

The man laughed, tossing his mostly spent cig away. He aimed the gun right at him. "Step aside, kid."

"Kid?" Ford raised an eyebrow. His eyes narrowed. "Wait... I recognize that-"

"Bag 'em," the man called out, and fired.

The unmatched speed of Wendy Corduroy allowed her to dart between Ford and the shot. A single needle, the size of a pencil, blasted out and struck her dead in the chest. She turned, and shouted, "run!"

Taking her heed, the four turned and ran. More and more of the darts fired out at the four, barely missing them, while Wendy stayed a few feet behind the others, becoming a meat shield for the strange projectiles. One after another struck her back, her legs, and her arm. Yet she just grunted and shouted, "keep going!"

"Sorry guys!" Soos cried out as they ran, "bad idea! This was such a bad idea!"

"Soos, we'll talk about it later!" Dipper shouted.

As he turned away from Soos, a figure stepped out from a car and aimed one of the needle guns at Dipper. He slid to a stop, unaware of where to go.

"Dive!" Mabel cried as she leapt ahead. The needle gun shot out, striking her shoulder, but she had committed to a punch right across his jaw. The man, large enough to lift a buck over his shoulders took the punch full on, and stumbled back before collapsing to the ground. "Hah! Mabel just... sucker... punch... yeah," Mabel said, struggling to stand before her eyelids closed.

"Mabel!" Dipper shouted, catching her, and grunting as he tried lifting her to his shoulders. "Mabel's out!" he cried out, grunting to keep up with the group.

"Tell me we have a plan more than just 'run away'!" Ford barked as they turned down a row of the parking lot.

"You have an idea!?" Dipper shouted back.

"If you do," Wendy gasped as another needle struck her leg, "Gah! Start on it! These things really sting!"

"Just maybe," Ford cried out, and spun around, his arms extended outward, "I need a moment!"

"I'll try to give you one dude!" Wendy said, also turning and charging down the assailants.

"Mister Ford, what are you going to do!?" Soos worriedly asked.

Dipper turned from Ford to Wendy. She was already in the faces of these goons. Wendy had spirit to fight in droves, but Dipper watched something he had not anticipated. These men were trained to fight and capture. She dove after one, and he would dodge, and another two would try to pin her down. She fought her way out, but others were slipping by her.

He looked back to ford, who was mumbling under his breath. Dipper looked back to Wendy, and saw she had managed to gain the attention of all the goons, these men with their strange weapons.

Only, there were five of them. Dipper blinked, and worriedly looked around. A shadow had crept up behind Soos.

"BEHIND YOU!" Dipper shouted to Soos. Soos cried out and ducked just in time. A needle shot out right where he had been, and landing into the back shoulder of Stanford, who winced and stumbled, collapsing forward.

"Oh no! Mister Ford!" Soos cried out, crawling over to the unconscious man on the ground.

Behind Soos, the man reloaded the single-shot device that he had used to neutralize Ford. A strong smirk stretched on his lips, he looked to Dipper.

"Look, kid," he said, "this doesn't have to end in a lot of pain. Just a kidnapping. You cooperate, your immune friend doesn't have to get beaten up anymore than she already has been," he said, nodding to Wendy.

Dipper looked back. As ever, Wendy refused to back down. But she was surrounded, and rather than using their darts, they now were striking her back. Fisticuffs, and even the butt of the weapons they carried. She stumbled back and forth, bounced around. She always swung out, striking one of them somewhere, but not before they would kick her back.

"So how about?" the leader asked, not lowering his gun, "going to save your girlfriend some trouble?"

Dipper blushed and turned back to him. "What makes you think she's my girlfriend?" he said, a bitter underlying to his words.

The leader scoffed. "Instincts, that's all. That and..." a shadow passed over Dipper and the man, and he gasped, turning around and pointing his gun into the sky.

A creature, airborne, slammed into him, knocking him past Dipper and onto the ground. Dipper gasped as the being landed next to him, feathers wider than a grown man was tall, and ran towards the hunter. Beautiful array of orange, silver, and red, the feathers tucked against the side of a well toned arm of thin but practiced muscle as it dived to the side, another dart shot out in retaliation.

"Harpies!" the man on the ground cried out.

Three of the men bullying Wendy looked up just in time for yet another figure to slam down on one of their own, crushing him into the pavement, forcing out a strained 'Oof'. This one was similar in size, but had brown and green feathers, and the person leapt back into the air in a spiral, the feathers creating a mesmerizing display that confused the opponents. Dipper realized his one was a woman, and she leapt up again and kicked another off their feet and against a Pitt Cola truck, which honked and blared loudly.

"Damned hunter," the newcomer before Dipper growled as he rushed towards the downed man.

"Bird-brain!" the hunter laughed, and threw something fist sized onto the ground.

An explosion of gas erupted around him, and the winged man stalled, leaping far back with his winged arms. Dipper coughed as the fumes reached him, a thick haze that made his eyes water. He turned away, lifting his sister with him. As he stepped away, next to the winged man, the smoke cleared, and the man was gone.

Beyond the clearing smoke, the other newcomer was settling down with Wendy at her back, the two watching as the five goons ran off, tails between their legs. As they ran off, Wendy sighed, and reached up, yanking needle after needle from her body.

Dipper let air fall from his lips, and he lowered Mabel to the ground gentle, and pulled out the needle from her shoulder. She was out cold, her eyes closed, and her breathing gentle. A step next to her had Dipper look up.

"Is she okay?" the voice of the man with winged arms asked, his voice like an angelic accord.

Dipper blinked, and looked to his feathers, and then his face. It was pointed and androginous, with long blond hair that fell behind his back. Silky and absolutely well groomed, the man looked down to Dipper and his sister with cold blue eyes that startled Dipper. Along the sides of his ears, small feathers of color matching his wings shot out, just as groomed as his hair.

"I think she's okay," Dipper managed, checking on his sister's vitals through her pulse. "Knocked out for a bit, but..." he stood, looking at the man, "who're you?"

"Yeah, dad!" A voice floated down behind Dipper, familiar and youthful, "don't be rude. Introduce yourself."

Dipper spun around in an instant. The form landing next to him was unmistakable. Corn silk hair, bright blue eyes, and young as Dipper remembered with her brown feathers along her arm. He smiled and shouted, "Jess!"

"Hi Dipper!" she cried back, and ran to him. Dipper had little time to brace for the hug around his mid-center, but he laughed as she did and squeezed him tightly. He patted her back, and as she let go, he turned back.

"Wait, your dad!?" he gasped.

The man smiled and approached. "So you're the one that Jess doesn't shut up about," he said, that cool, melodic tone nearing hypnotic qualities. "Dipper, it's good to meet you. I'm Archer."

"Hi," Dipper managed, shaking the man's hand.

Archer the Harpy nodded past Dipper. "You saw my wife, Chloe. She's, uh, nitpicking with your friend," she said.

Dipper turned and saw, as yet another figure landed next to them, Wendy and the other harpy walked closer. The fourth arrival was also unmistakably recognizable. "Jace!" Dipper called out.

"Hey bud!" Jace waved over as he landed next to Wendy.

The woman who was aiding Wendy seemed on a rant. "-and, oh you poor thing, they've shot up your jacket! My goodness, you must have taken more dosage than should be humanly possible of that nasty tranquilizer! We should find you an antidote before you die! If at all possible. Or at least fix you up: those holes must make it-"

"Thanks, ma'am," Wendy tried waving her off, "but I'm fine. Really."

"No, no," Chloe insisted, "truly, you must let me help. I'm excellent with these sorts of things. Caretaking is in the family line, after all."

"Mom, she's fine," Jace rolled his eyes, and then spotted Soos, "heya Soos!" he waved, and turned to Wendy, "sup Wendy."

"Hey," she nodded back, adjusting her jacket. Soos gave a toothy, somewhat faulty grin.

"Dipper," Jess spoke up, looking up to him as she used to, "what are you guys doing here? I thought you all were still in Gravity Falls? Did something happen? And, uh, who's that?" she said, looking to the passed out Stanford.

Dipper pursed his lips. Looking around, he noticed that the crowds from the tourists were looking their way, cameras at the ready. "I'll explain what I can, but, uh, maybe you guys have somewhere that we can hide? Just temporarily?"

The father and mother exchanged glances. The mom spoke up. "I think we can accommodate you five. Anyone who helped our family is welcome for quick stop in our abode. And I can put some tea on."

"Tea... would be nice," Dipper nodded and forced a smile as he began to hike his sister back up, into his arms.

Getting four cars with only three drivers was an especially difficult task, but Archer and Chloe turned out to be excellent drivers of, what they called 'human vehicles'. As they climbed away, they were not short of people snapping pictures of them as they passed, pointing to the feathers along the arms of all four family members. Jace and his father took the attention in stride, even going so far as to wave and wink at people who asked if they were human or not.

Dipper found Jess in the car with him, like old times. "What happened?" she started asking. "How are you? Did you ever beat up that hunter? Are you and Wendy, uh, still not, you know..?"

Though her questions were 'mostly' innocent enough, he tried assuring her that whatever questions she'd have would be answered, once they were safe. His mind was too busy trying to realize what had just happened. They hadn't even been out of the car for a few moments, not even a minute when the people were onto them. What had happened? How did the enemy catch on to them so fast?

Over one of the many bridges over the Ohio river, the caravan pulled into a shadow-covered parking lot under the bridge. Carrying Mabel and Ford with them, the gang and their re-connected Harpy friends trailed up a section underneath the bridge made entirely by planks of wood and light metals. Dipper continued to glance over the edge, looking towards the river below, aware of how far of a fall he would take if the wood gave away.

"Truthfully," Archer the harpy announced from over his shoulder as he carried Ford easily in his arms, "we built this place to accommodate the weight of harpies, with our hollow bones. So, watch your step."

Dipper gulped and followed his lead, avoiding places he may assume were less intact. Finally they came to a two-story construct in the direct center of the bridge. In the dark shadow of heavy steel construction, the harpies pulled out a makeshift door and allowed Soos, Dipper, and Wendy to step inside.

Inside, the two story building was a mess of blankets, pillows and mattresses, all fixated into spiral nests. There were no stairs in the place, but three separate platforms divided the kitchen, and two bedrooms from the lowest spot, the 'living room'.

"Welcome to our humble abode!" Jace declared, waving his arms around. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"The ground is so... comfy," he admitted, lying down onto one of the pillow compounds.

"I imagine that this is your first time inside a harpy home," Archer said to the three conscious visitors.

"You could say that," Dipper nodded, "seen some stuff like it, but this is the nicest so far."

"Ohh, you're just saying that," Chloe laughed, and she leapt up into the air, landing on the kitchen platform. "Is earl gray alright for tea?" The three nodded. Dipper turned and lowered Mabel onto the pillows nearest Soos, as Ford had been by Archer.

"So," Dipper rubbed his hands together, looking at the siblings first, and then their father as he leapt into the air and rested himself on the ledge of the kitchen platform, "uh... I'll answer those question, but I want one answered first. Why... are you all here?" he asked, "you're supposed to be canadian!"

"We are," Jess said.

"Mom and dad wanted to move," Jace sighed, putting his hands through his hair, patting his scalp gently.

"Well," Chloe began over the kettle above, "when we heard that the Phoenix, rest it's poor burning soul," she said with a shudder and shake of her head, "had moved on, we had no real reason to stay in the Rockies."

"The Rockies? You all lived in the Rockies in Canada," Dipper repeated.

Jess shrugged. "Made it hard to get any schooling except for homeschool."

"Chloe's home was made, you see," Archer began again, "to facilitate a bird like a Phoenix. It was a beautiful compound, but one that took quite a lot of labor. Since the poor thing is gone, we can move to wherever we'd like. We were thinking of going back to our roots and traveling to Greece."

"Greece?" Dipper asked. "Pittsburg isn't, uh, exactly Europe."

"Duh," Jace rolled his eyes, "that's when these jerks came into the picture. These hunters."

Dipper paused, listening to the resentment in Jace's words. "The people who attacked us. You fought them before."

"Yes," Archer said with a sigh, "Alberta and his men are nothing but evil."

Mabel stirred, and poked Dipper. "Tell... my dreams to stop teasing me."

"Mabel?" Dipper turned.

"Yeah, and if Jace is in my dream, tell him he grows up sounding really handsome," Mabel added.

Jess rolled her eyes as Jace snorted and laughed at Mabel's words. Dipper shook his sister, giving her a jostle. "You can tell him yourself."

"WHAT?!"

Mabel leapt in her seat, dizzy still and out of focus in her gaze. Then she saw the siblings. "JACE! JESSYBOO!" she screeched and charged them, tackling them to the ground in a large hug. "I missed you two lovebirds soooo much!"

"Hi Mabel," Jess coughed out.

"Heya Mabel-bear!" Jace giggled as he hugged back.

"Aww, you came up with a nick-name for me too!?" She whimpered, and snuggled him extra.

"Alright, up you three," Dipper chuckled. With Wendy's help, the three were pulled upright, only for Mabel to sit down again.

"Ugh. I feel like Constance just possessed me again. What did I miss? I'm not actually hallucinating, am I?"

"Nah," Wendy shook her head, "Jace and Jess's parents swooped in and kicked those jerks out."

"Whoa," Mabel gasped, and looked to the parents above her. "I understand now everything... Jace get's his looks from the both of you," she nearly whispered.

"Aww, she's just a darling," Chloe rubbed her husband's shoulder. He smiled, watching Jace sit next to Mabel.

"So you moved away?" Dipper asked, "and met these hunters."

Chloe scowled. "Absolute barbarians."

"They make a living," Jess explained, "hunting down what people are calling 'extra-normal' people."

"Huh?" Dipper and Mabel tilted their head to the side.

"Yeah," Jace nodded, "apparently, it's not cool to call things like Harpies and merfolk 'unnatural' or 'paranormal', so they made up a new word on the news- 'Extranormal'."

"Extranormal. Fine by me," Wendy mused over the idea, "kind of makes me feel better."

"Why does it make you feel better?" Jess asked, her eyes squinting at Wendy. Wendy went red immediately, glancing to Dipper.

"Uh, well," she chewed her words.

"Is there still a secret going on with you?" Jess snapped. "Even after all that in town!?"

"Dude, sis," Jace glared at her.

Wendy shook her head. "Jess, no. I'm, uh, sort of on the same spectrum as you and Jace."

"Oh," she nodded, her eyes cold and locked onto Wendy, "thought it was cool to be a weirdo like us, huh? So what are you calling yourself? Semi-Normal?"

"Jess, calm down," Archer cooed. "Aplogizes," he said to Wendy, who looked up to him, "she's always been one to be more mistrusting. After the business in that town, she's become even more so."

Wendy nodded and shrugged. "Jess," she said, looking to the young harpy, "I'm a wraith."

Jace's mouth fell open and his skin went even more pale. Jess on the other hand blinked and slowly nodded. "Oh," she said, and looked to Dipper, and whispered, "she is, right?" Dipper nodded solemnly. "I guess that's... reason enough. Still, what's a wraith?"

"She's sort of dead but not really though," Soos explained in one breath.

"How... unnerving," Chloe admitted.

"Tell me about it," Wendy agreed.

Without a word, Ford shot up. A pillow still atop his head, he looked around. "So. I take it we escaped and found our way into a fabrics shop."

"We're guests to a lovely family of harpies," Mabel explained.

Ford gasped and looked around. "My word! Hello!" he cried out, giving each a quick six-fingered wave, "a harpy home!? Magnificent! I haven't been in such refined company in years!"

"You've met harpies before?" Jace asked.

Ford laughed. "Naturally! Wonderful people, with an acute aesthetic knowledge. Harpy-kind has changed far more than human kind over the last millennia. Quite like gnomes, but in reverse."

"As fascinating as this is," Archer said, his cold blue eyes glancing over the now fully awake crew, "I think we are owed an explanation. Jace and Jessandra, "to which Jess mumbled to call her 'Jess'," explained that you were all in a town in Oregon, this 'Gravity Falls'. You arrived in this town just a week after our troubles with Alberta and his hunters began, and they seem very keen on finding you two," he looked to the twins.

"Dad," Jace grumbled, "don't be so rude."

"I have accused them of nothing," Archer reminded him, "Jace, we've been more than kind in letting them stay here, and explain our happenings. Maybe we could," he looked to the five, "be repaid in kind? After all," he floated down and landed in a seat directly before them all, "we're aware of some strange happenings these days."

Dipper licked his lips and nodded. "Fair enough."

With a deep breath, he began to explain. Starting from where they left off, the death of the Phoenix. The men who caused the storm- Omir Steindorf and Graupner Kinley. Their attempts at taking over the town to capture a powerful stone with enough magic in it to do nearly anything lead to the absolute erase of the town's existence, past and presently. That had an effect- releasing waves of arcane power into the world, which began to have more and more strange things return. 'Extra-normal' people started to resurface. With the help of Zander, they planned on stemming the overflow of magic before catastrophic events begin.

"Dipper left out the cool parts where Zander is also an ancient martial artist who can do things like magic," Mabel added, "and is really, really cool."

"Zander Maximillion?" Jace asked, "but he was just a dude."

"I thought something was off about the way he just waltzed up to a crowd of people and started fighting like it was nothing," Jess admitted.

"Well, according to him, the magical amount in the world should be somewhere from ten to fifteen percent returned," Dipper said.

From above, Chloe floated down, holding a large tray of tea cups and a hot kettle. "Well, as much as this is very important to discuss, tea for everyone," she said, handing out the cups and pouring away.

"Thank you miss..." Mabel stared at Chloe. "Did we ever get your last names?" Mabel turned to Jace.

"Boreas," Jace patted her head.

Mabel turned back to his mother, "Thank you miss Boreas!"

Archer nodded, "then we have nothing to argue about. Ever since the boom of media attention, it's been a mix blessing for our family. At first, people were excited to meet us, but now... there's a shadow on the minds of the common human."

"Fear?" Ford asked.

Archer nodded. "Many believe that this resurgence of extra-normals means some sort of conspiracy. The public are now talking about this, wondering if these sightings are implying our return and campaign to terrorize humans."

Chloe laughed. "Hardly!"

"Well, they're not totally wrong," Dipper argued, "there is a correlation- the destruction of the stone of conservation, but no one knows that. The lack of magic is gone, so things are starting to return that should have always been there."

"Well, regardless of intent," Archer grumbled, "this attention is making some so fearful they become violent."

Mabel gasped. "Just like Zander said."

"Alberta and his hunters are exactly the result. They are bounty hunters and the such who now are specializing in catching extra-normals. Last night," he looked to his children, "they attempt to grab Jace and Jess while they were coming back from the movies."

"Well, sort of," Jess admitted, and turned to Dipper, "they knew that we had met."

Dipper closed his eyes. "Knowing us... endangered you," he sighed.

"Oh noo," Mabel whined, "are you two okay?" she asked, grabbed Jace's cheeks, "tell me they didn't rip out any feathers!? Where did they touch you!? I'LL KILL THEM!" she roared.

"I'm fine," Jace chuckled, pushing his face free gently.

Dipper turned to Jess, who now he scanned her, saw the bruises. Her eyes had bags under them. The more he looked, the more she turned away. "Jess, I'm so sorry we got you involved."

She looked back finally, and seeing his eyes the way they were, her lips trembled. "Dipper, I... it's worth it knowing you... I mean, knowing you _guys_!" she added as he face shot bright red. "Knowing you guys! Right? Yeah! Yeah..." she glanced around. Wendy held back a small snicker. "What's so funny?!" she snapped at Wendy.

"Nothing," she said, patting her chest with her fist, "just coughing."

"...yeah right," Jess mumbled.

"This is just a dangerous time for our family," Archer said sadly. "Once this all blows over, hopefully if you call can fix this it will be sooner, but until then, we're probably going to have to keep on the move. Our plans to sail to Greece may have to be put on hold."

"Yes," Chloe sighed, "otherwise people may try to drown us in the ocean. Just rude."

"Took the words out of my mouth," Mabel grinned.

Dipper shook his mind and looked around. Meeting up with this family had been lucky. The ambush from these hunters and this 'Alberta' was less so, but seeing Jess and Jace again was fantastic. His sister was beaming, leaning against Jace's chest like she'd tell him from time to time she wish she could, and Soos...

Dipper saw Soos playing with his cup of tea, staring at the dark water. "Soos?" Dipper asked.

He jolted. "Oh- yeah dawg? Sup?"

"Are you okay?" Dipper asked. Soos smiled at him, shaky and almost certainly untrue. "Soos what's wron-"

"Wait!" Ford shouted, causing Dipper to flinch. "You said the name of the man who attacked was Alberta?" Archer nodded.

"He's a jerk," Jess added with a small pout.

"I thought his voice was familiar," Ford mused.

"You _know_ him?" Wendy asked.

"Knew of him," Ford admitted, "he was very popular back in my time. Well, more accurately, his brother was famous back then. The Jeffreys were big archeologists, famous for their talking dogs-"

"Did you say Jeffreys!?" Dipper gasped.

"Talking dogs!?" Mabel yipped.

"...yes?" Ford answered with uncertainty.

"This guy, Alberta," Dipper said, "is related to Montana Jeffreys?"

"Why yes!" Ford gasped and grinned, "Montana was the popular brother. He's one of the greatest celebrity archeologists of his time. I don't know what ever came of him, but his brother was never far off, but certainly in the shadow of his older brother."

"We ran into Montana this summer," Dipper gasped.

"You did?" Wendy and Soos both asked.

"Still, missing out on _everything_," Wendy grumbled to herself.

"You have a habit of getting tangled in every web that you can," Archer noted.

"That's Dipper and Mabel for you," Jace admitted, "going into danger for solve a mystery or to save the day."

"Then we have a common goal," Archer stood back up, his feathers stretching as he did, "we need to have you all on the move. Your goal is one that may make our lives easier. But more importantly, it's become clearer that while you are near my family," he looked to his children, "we are in danger."

"Dad, don't say that," Jess mumbled.

"He's right," Dipper said, going over to his sister and lifting her to her feet, "we're waiting on a call anyway, and with people who are willing to actually kill us on our trail, we could be putting you in danger."

"But, but," Jess said, her head whirling from her father, to her brother, and mother, "but we're already in danger. People are trying to hunt extra-normals."

"People are specifically going after us, though," Wendy pointed out.

"Thanks, Wendy," Jess nearly snarled, "but I think the point is that we could, well, help each other out! What if, we, uh, guide you through the city first! We've been here for like two weeks! We know the place."

"Jessandra," Archer Boreas said with an underlining warning.

"And besides dad," Jess said, "you've been teaching us your family's martial stuff! We can kind of hold out own!"

"Defending yourself and looking for trouble are different things, dear," Chloe stated with a bite. "Dear, your friends are on a mission that could save the world. We need to let them be and not slow them down."

"Well then," Ford stood up fully, and drained the cup of tea, "thank you for the hospitality. We aught to be going then."

"But... so soon?" Jess whined.

"C'mon sis," Jace shrugged as he stood up, "we'll see them again, sure as the wind."

Jess glared at her brother. "The wind is _never_ certain."

"We'll see them again," Jace grumbled, "stop making this harder."

"I'm not!" she barked.

"Jess," Dipper quietly said. She turned to him, her eyes wide and shimmering. "It'll be okay. Besides, we got a jump and got away from those hunter guys. Not like they're onto us again or-"

Wendy's head whipped to the side, and she glared out a window.

Dipper stared at her. "No... not again."

Wendy hollered, "GET DOWN DUDES!"

Grabbing Jess in a hug, Dipper threw himself to the ground just as Wendy knocked down Soos and Ford and the others dived to the floor.

The air was filled with shredding wooden walls and shattering glass. Bullets soared like rain through the air, cutting away at the structure like butter. Dipper hardly could look up with the shrapnel of splinters flying through the air, but he could see a swerving, tracing trail of gunfire making a line across the structure they had made. He had never seen such a concentrated fire of bullets in his life, and the buzzing in his ears told him what was firing it was no joke.

Then it all stopped, and the building began to shake and tremble. A loud whirring of helicopter blades in the distance told Dipper that they had a moment.

"Everybody okay!?" he called out.

"So that's what it's like to be inside a firecracker," Soos mumbled as he stood up.

Wendy leapt back up, her eyes ahead. Dipper saw it too, movement by the door. The door slammed open, knocked off the hinges. A man stood there, holding a triple barreled weapon in his arms. Thinking fast, Dipper tossed one of the heavier pillows at him, knocking aside the weapon as it fired right for Archer Boreas.

Following his action, Wendy took initiative. She charged the man and roared, leaping up and kicking out with both feet. The man fell backwards and vanished over the side of the platform. But as she landed, the base that held her broke. Wendy was there, and then it fell away and...

She was gone.

* * *

Checklist... 1. The Harpies are back, check. 2. Awkward relations between Dipper and Jess, Check. 3. Action and drama and a heck of a cliffhanger (hehe, literally), check.

Have I your attention again? ;)

Well now, since that's all good and done, I'm just going to settle here and enjoy the arrival of this chapter, and the second third of the Third/final season of this series. I know a lot, lot, LOT of people were begging for Jess and Jace to return, and I knew, from the moment I wrote them in, they would be. But, like all things in a series, such times can only last for so long.

A lot of people have been begging me to know about DipperxJess. For those of you curious how that is going to end, I suggest you re-watch 'Into the Bunker'.

But how this chapter goes? Well... tune in next time when Soos gets his wishes and they go chasing into the city again, right smack into the factory. Let's see if it's what he asked for next time.

ALSO! OCTOBER IS BACK! WHICH MEANS HALLOWEEN IS COMING! YAAAY! (runs around, decorating computer and house with various halloween things.) Aww goodie goodie! So, in honor of my tradition, I'll be releasing yet ANOTHER single-shot episode featuring the spookiest time of the year! Now, I know last time we had the three minor episodes that were asked for, and I'm going to DO IT AGAIN!

So, if you have an idea for a spooktastic halloween short that you'd like to see written by ME, **lemme know**! Try to keep it semi-canon to either my story or the real show canon. AU's are more difficult to write (I.E. see my previous halloween one-shots). If you check reviews, and someone has a good idea, just let me know! I'll probably take a few ideas people write and make a vote on my profile page next week. So, if you have an idea, REVIEW AND LEMME KNOW! (or PM me, but if I like it, I'm putting it up on the page anyhoo.)

And finally: This episode has been sponsored by Pitt Cola. PITT! So good you'll wish you'd move into the country to eat a lot of peaches.

(A huge peach lands on EZB, crushing him flat. A boy pops out of the house-sized peach from a small port hole, along with a dapper grasshopper the size of a man.)

James: (in the Giant Peach) Have we landed? This doesn't look like New York.

Mr. Grasshopper: More than you realized, by lad. But it certainly smells like actors.


	88. Fight or Flight: Part 2

The moment his eyes lost track of her, Dipper scrambled forward. "WENDY!" he roared as he rose up.

"Dipper, wait!" Mabel shouted, trying to claw at him, to pull him back. "There could be more of them!"

Dipper didn't care. He pushed away from his sister and dived towards the shattered door, and found the edge of the collapsed platform. _She couldn't be gone_, he told himself in his mind, _she couldn't die!_ Still, he knew that it didn't mean she couldn't become horribly separated from the gang, sinking into the river below or being swept away with the tide. As he rounded the edge, the air fell from his lungs and a hand shot up for him.

"Sup dude?" she asked with a shy smile. She held onto a mere splinter of the remains of the plywood floor. Behind her a figure just struck the water, showing the distance to the river below.

"Give me your hand!" Dipper shouted. She took his hand and slowly started to climb up. Half way up, Mabel's hands came over and started to pull up Wendy.

"We gotcha!" Mabel said, proving her strength as she started adding to Wendy's speed.

The house buckled, and the twins started to feel their weight shift forward.

"Hold on dudes!" Soos shouted, and he grabbed both Mabel and Dipper's shirts as he held onto a wall of the building. Ford then came next to him, and pulled at his shoulders, giving him what aid he could.

Sliding around Soos, Jace and Jess rushed forward, and took to flight. Their arms out, and their wingspans unfurled, the two made a quick spin before flying underneath Wendy, and letting her feet onto their shoulders. Jess grumbled something near inaudible as she pushed with her brother, but in a moment, they managed to retrieve the red-head from her state of near plummeting.

"Guys, thanks," Wendy sighed, and looked down, "you guys rocked that," she waved to the airborn siblings as they landed again.

"Get inside!" Chloe Boreas, the mother of Jess and Jace snapped, tugging Soos as she tried having him pull them all within the building. As he complied, the structure budged again, having glass slide across the floor to one side.

"We need to leave," Dipper stated. A flurry of movement next to him, and he saw Jess had leapt into the air.

"Unless we have a adequate diving instructor in this moment who excels in crash course diving," Ford called out, "I think Dipper is correct that we need to go now!"

"Crash course diving," Mabel laughed, "that's funny."

"Then let's g-" Wendy tried shouting, but her voice was drowned out as a Helicopter of some sort flew feet underneath them. The noise alone caused them to hold hands to their ears, but the wind shook and rattled the very supports, making the building buckle further. Through the front door, they saw it again, some quarter of a mile away, making a turn back towards them.

"It's going to shoot at us!" Jace shrieked. Jess then landed next to him, sporting a worn, blue hat with a single stitched pine-tree atop the front. Dipper refrained a smile as he looked away, noticing a blush from her cheeks. "Really?" Jace glared at his sister.

"I'm not leaving it behind," she said in a deadly tone. Jace took an inch step away from her.

Pushing past the group, Archer Boreas stretched his neck briefly, and extended his wings. "Kids," he said, "get your friends to sold land. Your mother and I will draw the fire away."

"WHAT?!" Jess shouted as Jace gulped. "But they'll kill you! They're using bullets!"

"Honey," Chloe brushed her daughter's hair as she stepped over, "you and Jace aren't fast enough to outrun a helicopter."

"Let alone dodge a pilots aim," Archer mused, "let us handle this. Just get them to safety before the entire building comes crashing down," he said as he watched the helicopter with precise vision.

"But-" Jess protested.

"NO BUTS!" Chloe snapped, her sweet tone evaporated in a commanding presence, "you're taking your friends to safety or when after all of this, you're GROUNDED!"

Jess's face went white, and Jace nodded. "Right mom, noted."

Chloe turned to the gang and Ford, who watched with uncertainty and wide eyes. Her expression softened, and she smiled. "Don't worry. My husband taught me everything he learned while he was in the service."

"He was in the service?" Ford asked.

"Haha," Mabel chuckled, "airborne division, I bet."

Chloe looked at her. "No. Marines."

"...oh," Mabel hummed.

Archer looked to his wife as they stepped to the edge. With one shared look, they simultaneously stepped off the platform, diving forward. A moment later, they were soaring over the river, heading straight for the attack helicopter.

"While I understand our desire to keep an eye on our former hosts, and your parents," Ford pointed out, and he pointed to the walkway, "but we've got more company!" The lot turned and saw them: near a dozen men with the same instruments used by the hunters before.

But these people were different. They wore cloaks of black, and pinning their cloaks together in the center of their chest was a sigil- two hands wrapped around four-point star that had etchings of fire behind it.

"It's Graupner's crew!" Dipper shouted.

"Behind me!" Wendy shouted, pushing the twins behind her as the first one arrived, and took aim. The person, wearing a simple black mask with holes for eyes and a nose, shot at Wendy, striking her in the chest with another dart. "Gah!" she grunted, "I'm getting so sick of those!" she cried, wrenching it out and charging forward.

The rage of Wendy was like a bowling ball. She ran up to the first man and shoved him against a pillar with a hard shove, stunning them. Yet she would continue, leaving the clean up to those before. Dipper and Mabel mostly took turns delivering a strong punch or kick to those who were still able to move. Again and again Wendy plowed down those before her, an unstoppable woman with a blaze in her eye.

Half way under the bridge, gunshots tore into the air. The twins and the birds paused, looking back. The helicopter, now harassed by two adult harpies, soared straight at the under-bridge structure. The bullets splintered it further. Then something much larger than a bullet shot out from under one of the helicopter's wings.

"Is that a missile!?" Jace gasped.

"GET DOWN!" Mabel screamed.

Wendy was in mid-grapple when the missile impacted the building and exploded. Had it not been for the weight of the man she had been pushing against, she may be been thrown entirely into the air. Those who had ducked were lucky enough. They avoided the spray of shrapnel and debris, and almost as dangerous, the shockwave. The few remaining members of Graupner's crew who had yet to been bulled down, the blast knocked them off their feet, tossing all but one into the river. The last one cried out, and managed one hand onto the side, where they hung for life.

Wendy scrambled up first, and looked down to her struggler, who seemed stunned. "Stay that way!" she yelled, and punched the man's head. The solid 'whack' of the fist seemed to do it's part well, and the man went still.

Dipper pulled himself up, and glanced back. Whatever home may have been there once was gone. Burning pieces of old wood crackled and smoked before falling into the river below. But to Dipper's shock, the blast had also taken apart a chunk of the bridge.

"He's escalating," Dipper realized out loud in horror.

A hand wrapped around his, and Dipper let Mabel pull him away.

The seven rushed across the terrible wobbly platform, leading closer to the edge of the river. Arriving on the solid ground was a relief, but even more was the lack of more goons.

"I'm so sorry guys," Mabel turned to Jace and Jess, "they blew up your house. Such a cool house too!"

"Eh," Jace shrugged, "we birds love building. Mom and dad will have a new nest sooner or later. Besides, we were going to travel."

"Which may be a good idea to leave the country for a bit," Ford told them, "and get airborn."

"Okay, okay," Jace nodded, and turned to the gang. "Guys, sorry we couldn't catch up more. Soos, you're looking tough. Wendy, you're looking rad. Dipper, keep being you, buddy," he winked, and Dipper rolled his eyes. "And... Mabel," he paused, his lower lip trembling.

Mabel stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him as he did the same to her. "Don't worry buddy," Mabel sniffled as she hugged, "you and I still need to go on a spa date togther."

"Yes," Jace laughed, "get my feathers trimmed and you can just watch, because you're perfect." Mabel gave just the smallest sobs, burying herself into his shoulder. Finally they let go, and Jace gave her cheek the smallest peck of a kiss. He turned to his sister. "Say your goodbyes."

"Right," Jess nodded, taking a long breath. "Well, uh," she turned to Soos and Wendy, "I... I want you to know that I'm sorry for acting like a jerk sometimes."

"Aww, don't mention it dawg," Soos smiled. "Compared to some, your jerkiness is like a mild spice. More for flavor than heat." Jess tilted her head, uncertain what to make of his comment.

"Don't mention it," Wendy shrugged. "Growing up's tough. Gotta vent once in a while."

Jess eyed Wendy for a moment, coming to a slow nod towards her. Then she turned to Ford. "Uh... nice meeting you." Ford nodded back, a faint smile. Her eyes met Mabel, who was busy drying hers off. "Mabel, thanks."

"Daww, you feathery love puff!" Mabel whined and grabbed her into a hug, squeezing the poor harpy into a near chokehold. After struggling to escape after a moment, she turned to Dipper.

He saw the look in her eyes. The same look three years ago he had practiced in a mirror. The mixture of fear and determination that he felt every time he was preparing himself to talk to Wendy about... how he felt. Well, of all the times, it would be now or never, he supposed.

"Dipper, I've wanted to say something," she started, her words trembling.

"Sure," he nodded, trying his best to stay focused on her, and not look to the others (especially Wendy).

Jess bit her lip, her eyes focusing on his.

From an alley almost a hundred feet away, someone shouted, "there they are! Grab them!"

Dipper snatched Jess and dived behind the cars. A hail of gunfire, all from a trio of goons who had just emerged from the darkness, ricocheted around them. As Soos and Ford dived with Mabel and Wendy ducked and slowly stepped aside, Jace leapt into the air.

"JESS!" he shouted, flapping away from the danger.

"JACE!" she cried out. Bullets nearly missed her spot, and Dipper pulled her back further. The oath of the bullets turned, and suddenly found themselves on the car that ford had brought. Within moments, the roof of the engine was pierced by no less than sixty bullets.

"Hey! Stop shooting that!" Ford yelled from behind cover, "I had to return that car you maniacs!"

"New plan," Dipper called out," get driving, get them off our trail, and get Jess to safety!" Dipper called.

"No, I can fly away!" Jess cried out.

"Jess, it's a miracle your brother got out unscathed!" Dipper told her. Determination was tempered with realism, and Jess faltered, looking under the car with Dipper. The feet of the trio were slowly coming over.

"I got this," Mabel said, suddenly sneaking behind one of the cars.

"Girls tag-team," Wendy nodded. She then stood up, walking out into the open.

"Freeze!" the leader of the three demanded, holding a rifle to her.

"Or what?" she snorted, her arms open wide. "Going to shoot me?"

"Wait," the leader said, his dark eyes looking at Wendy up and down, "this one... Corduroy! Switch!" he shouted, and the three lowered their rifles, and exchanged out the newer three-barrel weapons.

A warrior princess wannabe, Mabel leapt off the broken and shot up car shrieking like a bat out of hell. The closest of the three grunts looked up to her and also screamed, unable to react as she drove her fist across it's face. The leader in the center dodged to the side and aimed the device at Wendy as the one to his side spun to face Mabel.

A net shot out and slammed into Wendy. The force enough caused her to cough, and she flew back, slamming into the side of the car. Fragments of glass shattered around her, and she found herself constrained within the netting, and the back hood burst open.

"Hey!" Soos stood up, his fists up, "you leave my long standing co-worker alone!"

"Yeah, you tell 'em Soos!" Mabel cheered as she ducked under a swipe from the other grunt. "Show how Soos does!"

"Mess him up!" Wendy cried, trying to pull the netting off. "Of all the things, a net!?" she said as she struggled, "They got me with a _net_!?"

Soos nodded slowly. "Right. Right!" he said, timidly approaching the man in his best boxing stance, with his hands in front of him. "Okay, tough guy, you put that down, or else I'll-" The man then tossed the device to the ground, "oh. Well, I guess asking for things does make life easier."

Then the man drew a knife. Soos gulped and lost what little color his face had.

The grunt sneered. "Yes, you have." He then stepped closer to Soos, who flinched and stepped back.

Ford rushed out from the side of his broken car, wielding a tire-iron. The leader, so fixated on Soos fear never had the chance to react. The solid metal piece struck the man's temple and he fell instantly, crumpling to the ground. "Nice job distracting him," Ford sighed, tossing aside the iron with a loud clang. "Not only is someone going to be missing a car, but a tire iron. Oh well."

Soos looked from Ford, who was walking away, to Mabel, still mid-fight. "Uhh, shouldn't we help Mabel?"

Dipper stood, pulling up Jess with him, "nah, she's got it. Kicking nameless goons is her trademark."

Jess and Soos both looked back to Mabel as she, mid air, spun and kicked back out across the man's jaw, knocking him airborne for a brief moment. As he landed, Mabel caught herself against the ground, and with a push, was upright again. "Got him," she declared, dusting her hands off.

Ford grasped the tangled net and quickly removed it from Wendy. She blinked as she stood up. "You got that off really quick."

Ford lifted his hand and wiggled his fingers. "Extra digit helps," he grinned.

"Okay," Dipper said, opening the passenger door, "Mabel, let's go-"

Footsteps echoed down the one alleyway the enemy had come from. The air was once again riddle with the buzz and clatter of gunshots. Mabel swerved and dived behind Fords broken car. Dipper shoved Jess down, covering her as best he could.

"Dang it," he growled, "just get in the car for now," he said to her.

"But Jace-"

"Is already up, but these guys could shoot you!" Dipper shouted. Jess cringed, but did as she was told, opening the passenger door and sliding inside. Dipper turned to the others.

Soos had managed to hide next to Stanley's El Diablo, and was looking back to him. Ford had slid next to Soos, and spied the tire iron.

"Toss me that," Mabel called, from next to the broken down car with Wendy. Ford nodded, and kicked it towards her, the heavy metal clamoring as it did. "HEY!" she shouted to Dipper, "when I toss, dive!"

He nodded, and waited. Soos grabbed the handle of his car just as Mabel stood as she threw the crowbar at full force. The first man pushing his way out of the alley gasped. The Iron struck him dead in the chest and he fell backwards, collapsing onto the others behind him.

"GO!" Wendy roared, and she climbed onto Mabel's bike with her. "You drive!" Wendy told the female twin.

"Badass pink bike with a badass red-head? DREAMS CAN COME TRUUUUE!" Mabel roared as her bike hummed proudly, and she roared ahead.

Soos and Ford climbed into the El Diablo. As Dipper got into his seat, and checked on a sweating, nearly hyperventilating Jess, he nodded for them to move out first. The roadster screeched it's tires for a moment, and then sped past Dipper and Jess, sitting in their car. Wasting no time, Dipper turned in his seat, and reversed the car.

"They see us!" Jess shouted.

He couldn't afford to look back. He could only pray that his focused mind would process the reverse steering needed to escape the alley they had parked by, and get back to a main road. There was more gunfire. Jess yelled and the car jostled as several bullets hit the hood.

"Mom's going to kill me," Dipper growled as he imagined the image of his mom seeing, for the first time, the bullet hole covered car.

The light at the end of the alley was coming, and with a loud gasp of relief, Dipper spun out of the alley and into the street. Traffic was light, and Dipper then realized why. People were running, fleeing the streets from their direction.

"Smart folk," Dipper noted, "not like us. No, we hear gunfire, we run _to_ it, not away," he remarked, "what kind of idiot runs towards gunfire!"

He drove forward as Jess chuckled. "We are running away from the badguys though," she noted.

Dipper went to reply, but his eyes ahead saw danger once more. The pink bike and red roadster had turned in separate directions. Dipper's eyes widened as he saw an image he had not a few days ago: an entire garbage truck had been outfitted, with crude metal welding along it's side. Men and women of similar cloaks held onto the sides, holding baseball bats and other blunt objects.

"Is that a garbage truck!?" Jess cried out.

"Yes," Dipper growled as he made a desperate turn, "It's a _war-garbage_ truck!"

"How the heck are they getting garbage trucks?!" Jess barked.

Dipper went to reply, but he checked his mirror. The truck made a bee-line for him, actually knocking aside several abandoned cars in the middle of the road and casting them aside with it's unstoppable momentum. Dipper gulped.

"Not important right now!" Dipper managed, avoiding the cars that were still trying to drive along the streets of Pittsburg, "a more important question is how the heck do we deal with them!?"

"You don't have a magical mini-tank that can become a normal one, do you?" Jess suggested.

"Not to my knowledge," Dipper chuckled beside himself.

A shrill, piercing noise had the twin flinch. Both turned and looked past the front seats. Dipper groaned, as once again he was met by the realization that he had seen this before. Riding atop the truck, strapped to the roof by approximately ten bungee cords, was a man who shouted into a now live microphone.

"Rejoice all men and women in this dry, deserted age!" the man called out, his arms spread wide as he preached, "fir this is a coming of great flourish and peace! Magic comes again!"

"It's the exact same truck from florida!" Dipper gasped, and turned down a street, his tires skidding as he desperately made his swerve.

"What the heck is their deal!?" Jess demanded. She cried out as the earth trembled- the garbage truck had just smashed it's way over a thin metal fence, and then battered the side of a brick building. "They're crazy!"

"This jerk, Graupner," Dipper rapidly explained, "is somehow brainwashing people! Like, into these crazy fanatics!" He said, and sped through a red traffic light, "tickets be damned, I'm not getting flattened by a truck!"

"So then, what do we do?" she asked.

Dipper looked over his shoulder once more. The damage the truck was causing was catastrophic. People were cowering and fleeing the streets, avoiding the massive, tank-like construct. All the while, the men and women atop it were tossing off leaflets of their sigil- with paragraphs on it. Dipper looked to the sky. The black helicopter was shooting at two figures that weaved through the taller structures.

This wasn't just a chase. This was absolute war. Graupner declared war.

"The military," Dipper gasped.

"What?" Jess asked.

Dipper scrambled for his phone as he drove, which was a struggle considering the amount of pressure to not crash and subsequently become flattened by a huge armored truck. Jess reached into the pocket he sought, and pulled out the phone for him.

"Call 'Mystery Gang conference' under my contacts," Dipper told her, "put it on speaker!" she nodded, and did as told. The phone rang briefly.

"Wendy here," Wendy's voice answered.

"Wassuup!?" Mabel called, over the battering wind over the call.

"This is Stanford," the second voice replied, "answering for Soos."

"I have a plan," Dipper announced.

"New he would," Mabel called.

"First of all, is everyone okay?" Dipper asked.

"Soos's driving is a miracle," Ford stated. Soos mumbled something in the background of the call, but Ford insisted, "no need to be modest, Soos! Mechanic know how and instincts are a heck of a combo!"

Wendy however said differently, "I need to considering getting a jacket that's bulletproof. Mine is ruined- again!" she growled.

"Well listen," Dipper said, Jess holding his phone to him carefully as he drove down the street, "we need to shake these guys and-"

"Get out of the city," Ford answered, "excellent idea."

"Actually," Dipper sighed, "stay in the city."

"What?!" Ford barked.

"Dipper, are you sure?" Wendy called back, "I mean, there's a lot that could go wrong."

"Yes, there is," Dipper admitted, staring ahead as his mind now raced- tracking his driving and the conversation, "but hear me out: these guys are bad. Really bad. They chased us all the way up here from Florida. They're going to keep chasing us until this is over. They ran once, but they've upgraded their stuff. We don't have the tools, and Zander isn't here to help us. We can't deal with the problem, but... the military can."

"You want to trap them inside the city and let the government pick them off?" Ford asked.

"They're having a harder time navigating the streets here than they did back in the highway. Look, I know this sounds bad," Dipper gritted his teeth, "but these guys... they're going to keep coming after us. If we can delay them until some real soldiers arrive, we may be able to put an end to this without anyone else getting hurt. If we leave now, they could flee and go into hiding."

"Dipper, how are they going to hide a garbage truck and a heavily armed helicopter?!" Wendy barked.

"The same way they had before," Dipper retorted.

"And, uh, how's that exactly?" Soos asked distantly.

"I don't know," Dipper admitted, "but I have a theory Graupner's magic is behind it."

Ford answered first. "Very well. We keep them in the city. But try to lose them. If we can shake them from our tail, we might just be able to avoid them and have them remain in the city long enough to face real armed resistance-"

Dipper gasped and swerved the wheel, having Jess shriek. He barely missed oncoming traffic, and more importantly, a cop car. The car's lights were flashing, and the moment they missed it, the car jolted, moving up to intercept Dipper.

But the Wartruck had other plans. It slammed into the side of the police cruiser, knocking it across the street in one fell swoop.

"Yeah," Dipper nodded, checking his rear view, "shake these guys!"

"And how do we do that?" Jess asked as Dipper grabbed the phone and closed it. "They're, like, everywhere!"

"Maybe, but they can't be everywhere at the same time," Dipper said, "they're going to anticipate our movement, and act accordingly, right?"

"Right," she answered.

"So, we need to act... like Mabel," Dipper said as he turned a street, and spied, in the distance, greenery beyond the multi-story structures. He drove forward, and looked to Jess, "you are buckled right?" he demanded. He face grew slightly pink, and she leaned back, and buckled herself. "Well, hold on," he said, and found the start of a large thick, black fence. Nearly five hundred feet ahead, he saw it coming.

"Wait," Jess gulped, "you're not serious."

"Stupidly serious," Dipper growled.

"But, but, is this car MADE for that?"

"Made for city parks? I don't think so," Dipper joked.

"But you'd be crazy to go in there! We'll tip over!"

"And they'd be even crazier to follow us in, right?" Dipper laughed, and checked over his shoulder. The truck was still on his trail. "We jump in, tangle these guys up, and we bail," he re-assured her.

"You didn't say anything about your car's suspension yet," Jess noted with a gulp.

Dipper felt his hair tickle as fear fell into his mind. "Yeah, I know. I'm trying not to think about that."

Jess firmly leaned back into her seat, clutching the bottom of her chair with white knuckles. The feathers on her ears frazzled up, ands he gave the tiniest squawk of a gulp. Her face was as pail as his face was, looking into the mirror. Being chased by a terrible titan of a vehicle? That was one thing. Driving into the middle of a city park with a out-dated car from several years ago not made for any kind of off-roading?

"Well," Dipper mumbled, "time to do the unpredictable."

He grasped the wheel and twisted to the left, pulling the car's direction to face the coming park entrance. The curb was the first part of resistance that was easily bypassed. With a solid bump and jolt the car surged forward, narrowly avoiding the pedestrians who thought themselves safe on the sidewalk. Then the road became gravel, uneven brick walkways, and worst of all, roots.

Dipper smashed his horn again and again, desperate to warn those ahead of the oncoming danger. Though, maybe, he could slow down?

"Jess!" he called as he stared ahead, "status report on war truck."

Jess turned around, and her eyes grew wide. Dipper never needed to look in the mirror. He could feel the impact. Still, his eyes grazed over the image of the large iron fencing, and the front of the re-enforced truck bashing straight through. The crushing of a lamp post and the subsequent scattering of glass drove Dipper to slam the gas down even harder.

"Dipper, look out!" Jess pointed ahead, and Dipper yelled. He again twisted the wheel, this time to the right. A small pond ahead could spell disaster for them, but he skidding just enough in the dirt and brick to avoid splashing into the shallow water.

Behind him, the man atop the truck was having technical difficult. "Behold! Bask in-" Whack! Slap! Tree branch after tree branch slapped his exposed head. "Bask in- Bask- GAH!" he cried out, still strapped down onto the trash truck. "Avoid the trees Margaret! I'm trying to-"

A particularly large branch slammed into his head, and though he still stood upright, his eyes closed and his eyes went limp as the microphone fell from the top of the truck.

"Thank you, nature's forces," Dipper looked out of his windshield to the trees.

"Dipper," Jess pointed ahead again, and Dipper swerved yet again, this time avoiding a statue. "Dipper, are you okay!?" she demanded.

"Yes!" he yelped, as his car jolted up.

"You're almost running into a lot," Jess told him.

"Happens when you're stressed to an unbelievable level," Dipper grunted, "Like, not just driving in a tough terrain," he then yelled, avoiding running over several picnic tables, and instead plowing through a gardens, "not just making sure we don't get caught by these insane cultist types," Dipper said, turning on the windshield wipers as flowers and bushes were thrown onto the window, "but I've also got to watch out for you."

"I-I don't want to be a burden," Jess said quietly.

Dipper glanced to her, and her defeated eyes. "You're not," he admitted, "I'm just really flustered here, Jess."

"Maybe I can help?" she asked, leaning closer.

"Just how?" he asked ahead. Jess's hand suddenly was on Dipper's thigh. He tense up and dared a look to Jess with his burning face. "Whoa-" he started, but he noticed her. She wasn't looking at him. She had instead leaned under his arm and reached out, snaking a hand into his vest. "Wha-what are you doing?" he demanded.

"H-Here!" she yelped, withdrawing the journal tucked away.

"What are you going to..." Dipper blinked, and saw her flip out pages, and looked to him.

"Personal Encyclopedia and Journal search engine Jessandra, at your service!" she saluted.

"This... okay," Dipper grinned, actually game for her plan. "I know there's a spell that briefly intensifies reaction timing and thought speed. Find it for me," he said.

"A spell that does that?" Jess gasped, "that sounds _awesome_."

"It should be," Dipper grinned. She looked to him with a quizzical look, and he elaborated. "I've never used it. I've used probably less than ten spells in my life, okay?" he admitted.

"Is this, uh, an easy one to use?" she said, flipping through pages.

"No idea," Dipper shrugged, and swiveled the car, and drove around a sharp turn as the war-truck sped past for a moment, sticking a huge tree head on. The tree was knocked out of the earth, and the truck slowed, and began to turn around. "But we have some time," Dipper added, glancing over his shoulder.

"What should I look for?" Jess asked.

"Uhh," Dipper scrambled for thought, "some incantation, written in Latin!"

"Dipper," Jess snapped, "they're all in Latin!"

"Look for one that talks about lightning and minds in the Latin text!" Dipper restated angrily.

"I can't read _Latin_!" Jess shouted.

Dipper groaned loudly. "Lightning! In the brain!"

"Gotcha!" Jess shouted, and dove right back into the book. As she flipped through pages, muttering to herself, Dipper scanned through the back mirror. The truck was making it's return. With the strongest momentum Dipper had ever seen with anything as mundane as a trash truck, it uprooted entire benches and chewed it under it's colossal weight. At the rate they were going, the thing would level the entire park, with them underneath.

"Uh, I think I found it!" Jess shouted, and held the book up.

"Let's see," Dipper read out of the side of his eyes. She had found it- the hasten spell. "Okay... okay... let's try this," Dipper said, and focused. He had a long stretch of road ahead. "_Accurro Animus, Tonitrui et Fulgur, Adtonitus arbitror!_"

From the sky, a crack of thunder rumbled ahead. Jess flinched, but Dipper shot up. Energy coursed through his body and mind. He saw everything just the way it had always been, but it was so much clearer. He could see it go by, study the leaves on a tree in the fraction of a moment he had. He turned to Jess, and noted her scratches, her tangled hair, the worried look in her eyes as she watched him. He saw his hat, and he smiled.

"Hold on," he said, and he shifted gears.

He could see the layout of the park in his head. He'd been driving around it for the past two minutes, and he could see it as clear as daylight. He had a plan.

Dipper drove around a particularly thick tree, and found himself in the center of the main path, which was lightly paved. Here, he had a straight shot for the exit. Instead, he turned around.

"Wait, what are you doing!?" Jess shouted, pressing her nose to the right side, where the exit awaited.

"They'll follow if we don't throw them off first," Dipper explained, his words stacking upon themselves as nearly robotic. He saw it in the distance- the same pond he had swerved to avoid. He drove faster and faster.

"Dipper, what are you planning?" Jess asked, looking between the destination, growing closer and closer, and the fixated stare of Dipper, who was growing a smile.

"I'm planning on trying something I saw on TV once, and I think it'll work," Dipper stated, and checked his mirror. The truck was on them, drawing closer.

"Dipper!" Jess shouted, point at the pond.

Three seconds away, Dipper shifted gears and spun the wheel left, and then right. The pond was wide enough to fit five of his cars within, but Dipper was down avoiding the entire thin, drifting across the circle path that enclosed the pond. Jess, who screamed at first began to laugh, as for a moment they were watching the wartruck dive straight at them, miss by several feet and dive into the pond. They circled the pond as the men and women on the side leapt off, trying to get a hold onto Dipper's car. Dipper merely had to correct his steering at the last moment, and suddenly he was driving far from the crashed truck and away from the scene.

"That was amazing!" Jess laughed, punching his arm lightly, and returning the journal to him.

Dipper grinned. "The craziest thing is that some people can just _do_ that. Took me magic to even think how... how it- uh oh," Dipper blinked.

His head felt heavy. His mind buzzed.

"Dipper?" Jess yelped, grabbing his shoulders as he buckled. "Dipper, you're acting sick."

"Dang," Dipper panted, his body trembling. "That spell was a lot more intensive than I thought," he said, letting out gasps of air.

"Intensive!?" She yelled, "what do you mean!?"

"Magic, uh, sometimes kind of wears on people," Dipper said, swerving out of the park and back onto the main road, "I guess that one was one of the more costly ones."

"You'll be okay, right?" she asked.

"Yeah, as long as we don't run into anymore-" he said, but his eyes shot wide as he pushed he against the door. Standing, right in the street with his gun out, was Alberta Jeffreys.

The pencil like needle missed Dipper's face by an inch, imbedding itself into the headrest. He swerved, barely missing the stoic man in the center of the road. Still, he saw him again, and realized, just as they had discussed, the man was absolutely related to Montana. Younger, probably, but had a dangerous look in his eye.

Lightning crackled in his brain, and Dipper cried out. The pain was severe- a reminder of the pain he had felt in his hands. He couldn't drive; he pulled his hands to his head, clutching his skull, trying to press away the pain.

"Dipper, drive! DIPPER!" Jess shrieked a very far way away, watching Dipper recoil.

"You- you need to," Dipper mumbled, his eyesight fading. He couldn't remember what was happened. Some part of him suddenly remembered what the spell was. It was a trade off- high speed thought for a moment for low brain function for a moment. Gritting his teeth, Dipper faintly remembered a cackling voice in his head.

_You don't just start using magic b-by starting with whatever spell you want. T-Takes study, a lot of pr-practice to learn to ignore the effects of c-casting spells_, the voice of Graupner Kinley taunted him.

The car jolted to a direction, and his eyes blinked naturally. He could see the road before him, and he looked next to him. Jess had reached over, and she desperately tried steering to her best. Dipper felt a lack of pressure on his foot, and he noticed the gas was off. He was just going on whatever forward momentum he had used, and it didn't unsettle him.

"Dipper, c'mon," Jess begged, her words like a swimmer underwater, "focus!"

"I'm trying," he grumbled. The world was stuck in a buzzing fog, unable to allow him focus.

"You can do better," she begged. "Please!"

He saw traffic coming, but his mind was forgetting what to do. Did he drive through him? Did he own the huge truck that could bully it's way through anything? Wait, or was that the bad-guys? Maybe he could just park next to them all, and ask them to kindly move faster. He'd be by them in a few moments, after all.

The passenger shouted, grasping his shoulder. "DIPPER!" Jess yelled.

The yell jolted him awake, casting aside the numbing static in his mind. Though he felt the fatigue of casting magic, Dipper was back to a sense of self- he could act on his own accord. Hands on the wheel again, he twisted and applied the break as expertly as he could.

The traffic was avoided. He swerved the right, and found a familiar local stop he had been to not an hour before. The factory. Then he yelled and slammed on the breaks. A hot-red car was coming right at him, and he swerved to the left this time, as did the car.

None other than Soos and Ford paralleled Dipper's actions, both narrowly squeezing into the parking lot with less than foot of space between the two cars. Dipper swerved again, now trying to avoid a fire hydrant before him. The car hit a curb and swerved, and in the moment, he nearly lost control, spinning away from Soos.

The two inside screamed, holding pushing against the sides of the car to attempt to remain still and not bounce about. The car again hit a curb and then slammed into something hard in the side alley by the factory. Dipper's head struck the side of the glass, and he groaned, falling forward as he felt the side of his face.

"Oww, Dipper," Jess's voice groaned as she also held onto her head, and undid her seatbelt.

"One sec," Dipper said, and undid his own, and checked his mirror. He gasped. There was a trail of blood falling from his hairline. "Oh crap," he gulped.

"Dip-" Jess finally looked to him, after massaging her neck. She screamed. "Oh my god! We- we need to get you to- oh no! Dipper! BLOOD!" she roared.

"Hey, hey!" he grapped her hands gently, "I'm okay. Okay? Just relax. I'm okay for now."

"But-but-"

"Trust me," he said, and winked at her. A mild mistake, as his brain seemed to throb in rebellion at the attempt to do so. He reached for a glove compartment, and there found several pieces of insurance paper, and used them to pad his skull. "Not like mom will care," Dipper grumbled, mentally reprimanding himself for ruining the proof of insurance. "I wonder if I'm even allowed to drive in this..."

Ahead and beyond the windshield, Dipper saw figures approaching. Slowly, but steadily. They were not the cloaked grunts, but the trained men from Alberta. The Hunters. Dipper pushed Jess's shoulder and then pointed ahead. "Look!" he demanded, and that she did.

"Okay!" she nodded, and tried to push the door open. It wouldn't budge. "Dipper!" she cried out.

"Grab my hand!" Dipper shouted.

"Just reverse us!" Jess shouted.

"I can't drive, Jess," Dipper shouted, "I can barely see ahead of me! We need to run!"

Jess looked ahead. They were almost thirty feet away now. Sweat formed across her face, but she then nodded. She grasped his hand, and Dipper slammed open his door. Three needles shot out and barely missed Dipper's legs as he yanked Jess with him, and the two darted down the car, keys in hand.

A hot rod slid into view before them, parking at the entrance to the alley. Dipper gasped and waved at Soos as he stepped out of the car and ran to them.

"Dudes! You're alive!" he declared.

"For now," Dipper grinned.

"Whoa, we need medic Wendy on the scene," Soos pointed to his head.

"I'll be okay for the time," Dipper shrugged.

"Wendy can do medicine?" Jess scoffed.

"Gentlemen!" Ford shouted from the car, having yet stepped out. "Please hurry! Time is of the- LOOK OUT!" he pointed and ducked back into the car.

Soos grabbed the twin in his large arms and spun around the side of the corner wall. Several more darts flew past, inches from scratching Soos's arm. "Close... pierce," Soos grunted as he dropped the two and stood at the corner.

"They reload really fast," Dipper growled.

"Get to the car!" Ford demanded.

"We can't! They'll shoot!" Dipper shouted back. Several darts zapped into the wall next to his head, and Dipper looked past the El Diablo. Montana had arrived, along with two of his goons, and were some fifty feet away, marching closer. Dipper, panting and aware of how close this was getting, grabbed both hands of his friends. "Okay, now or-"

Soos's car revved up. Ford had switched seats, and speed back.

"HEY!" Dipper roared, but the car sped away, disappearing into the lot. "You- you traitor! I knew it! TRUST NOBODY!" he screamed after the roadster.

"He'll bring it back, right?" Soos gulped.

"Let's not wait around to find out," Jess said, pushing against Soos, towards the front doors.

"Quick! Inside!" Dipper pointed, and charged with his two friends into the interior of the factory. The automatic doors received three needles through their glass as they opened, causing the three two duck and swerve.

"Welcome to the Historical and Original Pitt Factory! The only Pitt you'll not want to crawl out of!" a cheerful automated voice called out as they stepped inside the air-conditioned room. It was a huge visitor hallway, with various cowering people pushed against the sides of the walls, watching as the three ran inside. The sweet air was punctured by the cries and whimpering of the fearful. Desks hid the public workers who dived under for cover. A single guard approached the three.

"Hey! No running inside!" he said, a knight stick out as he approached the three.

Dipper glanced behind and saw Alberta and his five followers. He pushed Soos aside and grabbed Jess as he pulled. Three needles zipped past and struck the guard.

"Hey!" he said, waving his stick meekly in the air, "no un-authorized... weapons... in the-" he collapsed forward with a loud snore.

Racing across the floor as the guard fell behind, thee three approached a pair of double-doors that lead further inside the old factory. Slamming them open, they ran down a similar well lit hallway of old-school wooden walls and paint jobs. People peered around just to see them race by. Then from behind, people shouted. Dipper pulled Jess aside again, narrowly dodging three more darts, which scattered at the end of the hallway.

"That door!" Dipper shouted, pointing to a doorway on Soos's left. A plaque read next to it: Factory Floor. Soos took the call and leapt for it, shoving the door aside and ushering Dipper and Jess inside.

Stepping inside, the three skidded to a halt. They were on a platform, overlooking the entirety of what could have been the majority of the massive factory. A small platform before them displayed a mechanical array of buttons, knobs, and levers.

"Shoot, what now!?" Soos asked, "we're closed off."

Dipper approached the edge, and looked down. Chains dangled from the edge of their platform to the solid stone floor. "Here," Dipper nodded, and climbed over the safety rail and began to shimmy down the chains. Jess looked down, and her arms out, she glided through the air, landing beneath Dipper.

"Uh, ohh," Soos gulped, and with about as much flexibility he could muster, climbed over the control panel. As he made to spin around and grasp the chains just below his reach, his leg struck a lever and he yelped. The snag threw him off, and he tumbled forward, barely able to grab hold of the old metal chains below him. Before he began to climb down though, the mechanical world around them whirred and hummed to life.

As Dipper landed next to Jess, he looked around. Pistons were pumping and wheels were twirling faster and faster. The sweet, peach perfumed air was suddenly tainted as a blast of raw steam enveloped the two below, making them cough.

"Soos! You turned it on," Dipper coughed.

"Oh, sorry!" Soos cried out as he slowly climbed down, "I- I didn't mean to! I'm just making a lot of mistakes these days-"

The doors above shot open, and men began to climb out onto the platform. Soos finally landed onto the ground next to the two, and the three scurried out of sight, hiding behind a large soda labeling machine.

Up above, the crew was chatting.

"Platform has no way down," one of them said, scowling.

"Not no way," another noted, and pointed over the edge, "the chains are swaying a bit."

"So they're in here?"

Alberta Jeffreys grunted. "Turn off the gadgets. It'll just make it harder for us to find them." The closest one approached the board, and frowned. After a moment, he pushed a button. The lights above let out a crisp _Zap_, and all light bulbs exploded. The only remaining sources of light were the active machinery and the switchboard before the men. Alberta swore, and rounded on the one who had touched the button. "Really?"

"These things aren't labeled!" the man who blew the fuses complained. Alberta shoved him aside, holstering his weapon on his shoulder. The man pointed, "Look, see?" Looking onto the board of switches and buttons, Alberta scowled and glanced around.

"Alright. This just got a bit interesting, that's all," he declared, and turned to his men, "one get's posted up here, the rest, we're going down and finding them. Use thermal tracking," he said, and lowered himself around the ledge, climbing down the chains.

Dipper pulled the two aside, and then away from the platform by some thirty feet. "Look, if I heard them talking correctly, they're going to use thermal visioning."

"I hope they don't have flamethrowers," Soos gulped.

"What? No! Soos," Dipper hissed quietly, "that means they'll use heat to find us. But that's not such a bad thing," Dipper said, pointing behind himself to a large device that was spewing a steady steam of white vapor. "This place will begin to heat up, and we'll be harder to track."

"Not only that," Jess added, "but they can only see thermal through their scopes," she added, "it's how they hunted Jace and I at night! So, if we just find places that a scope would be hard to be used-"

"Uh, just how do I hide?" Soos asked, holding his chubby belly.

The two looked at Soos, and then behind him. There was something laying on the floor some ten or so feet behind, and Dipper grinned.

"I think... we may actually have a way to combat these jerks," he nodded in appreciation.

"Does it involve me being bait?" Soos said, his chest deflated.

Dipper patted his arm, grinning. "Not at all."

The five men departed below, each with their weapon out. The dark environment made for an eerie surrounding, with many red and yellow flashes and glowing lights around, it became hard for the eyes to adjust well. But these men were hunters. They trained their senses well enough to cope with stress like this. While not as easy as shooting them down a hallway or in a dead-end room, they had it easy. Outnumbered, and outgunned. Now it was time to bag the kid, get the other kid, and get the money.

"Comms up?" Alberta asked, tapping on his ear, where a small mechanical plug was placed.

"Yessir," five replies stated.

"Okay. Split up, but keep in distance. I don't know about the twins, but tweety bird was something of a struggler," Alberta said, lifting a cigarette to his mouth and lighting it with a match, "I don't think they'll just find a corner and hide."

"Traps, sir?" one said.

"Maybe. Just keep your wits. No telling what a cornered monster will do," he grinned, taking a drag.

"She's just a kid," one of them scoffed.

"A harpy. She's a monster either way," Alberta said with finality," now, sniff them out."

One of the men stepped over a large piping and under a now running conveyor belt. As he did, he found himself in a semi-open region between the processor of cans and a boiling tank. He traced the large, highly polished metal with his weapon, using the heat of the room to look through the darkness. Steam shot out from a vent system, and he jolted, looking around it as best he could.

From the distance, he heard a 'shh'. Not a vent this time, but someone telling another to be quiet. He grinned, and crouched lower. He was nearing the wall of the factory floor, and found himself looking at a pair of double doors that would no doubt lead back outside. They were wrapped in solid iron chains, and completely locked.

Turning away, he saw a shoe sticking out. Twenty feet away, small enough to be the bird-girl's. A some lay crumbled on the floor, fuzzy and circular, with thin noodle arms. Stealthily, he approached it and finally made to step over it, his eyes glued onto the shoe.

Something then knocked him off his feet, from underneath him. As he gasped and made to speak, a heavy fist struck his gut, and he wheezed for air. He looked up, seeing the outline of a large peach with a big, happy face on it.

"Barnes?" the line called for the man who had just gasped.

His voice echoed across the factory as he yelled, and then went silent.

The four men still accountable stopped, listening.

"What was that?" one of them grunted.

Alberta turned around, looking in the direction of the platform. "Brookes, call it," Alberta demanded.

On the comms, their watchman sounded uncertain. "I saw him moving towards the side left door, probably spotted them. Then something really big moved!"

"The fat one," Alberta growled.

"No, sir," the watchman, Brookes, replied, "big. Round. Sort of like a circle or something."

"Like a circle or something?!" another cried out, "what the heck, is that?"

"Barnes is out," Alberta declared, "probably dead."

"Dead?" another gasped.

"Until we know otherwise, he's considered dead. Harpies were man-eaters in the past," he snorted.

"Sir, should we group?" another called.

"Don't be pansies," Alberta growled.

"But-"

"FIND THEM!" he roared, his voice echoing loud through the factory floor. As he panted, and re-adjusted himself, he said to himself, "no one doubts their choice of me over my brother. No one."

As he passed by, he failed to notice something watching him through several pipes: a large, old, worn, peach mascot with big eyes and a happy smile. As Alberta moved away, it slunk back into the shadows, ready to claim it's next victim.

The watchman, Brookes, spied into the distance with his rifle. The steam in the room was becoming a problem, as he could only really seemed to catch glances of his crew and suppose where they would meet up. Still, he could track it all. If something moved, he'd notice it.

Then the chain below him clattered. He gasped and paused, holding his breath. Could... could one of the brats be beneath him. Quietly, he said into the comms, "guys. We got one sneaking back to the platform. Just beneath me, right now."

"Rodger that," Alberta affirmed, "doubling back to meet up."

"I'll tranq. them," he grunted, and approached the edge.

"Just hold still and supervise," Alberta told him.

"What's he going to do, jump up twenty feet?" the man cackled.

From the crowded noises echoing around him, there was a rush of wind. He felt it, and made to turn, thinking the door had opened. Instead, two feet planted themselves onto his shoulder, knocking him aside. Thrown off, his balance continued until the railing wasn't enough to stop him. He cried out, and fell off the ledge.

His echoing cry halted Alberta. His men all froze, aware of where the screams had come from.

"Boss?" another man asked on the comms.

"That was Brookes," another whispered.

"They're actually fighting back?"

"No way. Freakin' kids are vicious-"

"Calm... down," Alberta snarled, "re-group. Find your best way to the central boiling vats and generators by the back side."

"But, they have a straight shot to the exit," another reminded him.

"Not from my position," he smiled, and looked behind him. True to Alberta's word, he could see straight over various machinery to the distant platform. If they tried to escape there now, he would see it. They wouldn't be getting far with his dosage in their backs. He smirked and added, "besides, I think tweety bird and her friends are able to hear in on our plans. We played their game, but our move is to change the rules."

The large volume of steam that burst nearby him hid away the sneaking mascot of a smiling peach. The wide eyes and toothy smile across the front of the four foot tall peach would normally make for a near impossible way to hide, but steam was it's ally- masking it's padded feet under the various degrees of hissing and spouts of heat.

Some thirty feet away, it stopped, and the top half of the peach was removed, and Dipper nearly gagged. Stepping out to him from the shadows was Soos just as Jess landed next to them.

"You okay there, bud?" Soos asked. Dipper shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Too hot?" Jess asked, patting his arm gently.

"Too hot, too awkward to move, smells like dead possum," Dipper grunted as sweat mixed with the dried trail of blood down his face, "and too stupid. I thought this was a good idea, but at this rate I'm going to die without them ever seeing me."

"I thought you had a good idea," Soos admitted, "the creepy ever-smiling face is a nice touch."

Jess nodded and took the top half from Dipper, eying it. "It is really creepy," she added, and handed it back, "but they can't see you with those thermal thingies."

"They, well, could," Dipper said, "but I would never stand out. Not initially. This thing is starting to boil on me," he said, and stepped out from the costume, kicking it aside, "eventually I'll just be a large walking heated circle to them. Might as well ring the bell and shout 'come and get me'."

"But now what?" Soos gulped, "they're coming together. Like, right now. Just over there," he pointed through piping.

Dipper turned, looking through. Sweat dripped across his face and down his nose as he peered through. They'd have to act soon. The four remaining hunters, including Alberta, had yet to cluster up, but at the rate they were moving, they'd have only a minute or so. They needed to act quickly.

"We need to entice them," Dipper decided, turning away from watching the others in the dark, "make them come to us, not us to them."

"Set up a bait?" Jess asked.

"Sounds easy enough," Soos shrugged, "I could, uh, be bait?"

"No, Soos," Dipper rolled his eyes, "they need someone that looks more helpless," and he looked to Jess as Soos's eyes fell to look at the floor.

"I... yeah," Jess nodded, "I can do that."

"Okay. Go make a scene," Dipper sighed, "we're right behind you."

The harpy nodded, took a deep breath, and then ran. Following the side of the wall, she turned at an opening, and waved her arms. "Hey! Idiots!" she stuck out her tongue and then turned. The moment she had started to run, a pencil sized needle shattered against the solid wall behind her. She was moving, and being chased. Dipper motioned to Soos, and he moved aside, pressing himself into the shadows as they watched.

A figure darted into view, reloading their main needle-barrel.

Dipper ran, ahead, more than ever trying to cover distance rather than remain in stealth. The man heard and turned, readying his weapon. Dipper however was too quick, and grabbed the tool as he passed, wrenching it from the man's hands and spinning him around.

Soos ran up and shouted, "fix this!" as he grabbed the back of the guys head and threw him aside. The man, stumbling and blind, slammed into the side of the wall with an audible thud. He fell aside, limp and slumping to the floor.

Then another arrived, his weapon drawn and ready. Dipper raced and reached out, narrowly dodging a Needle that could have been directed at either him or Soos. Soos gasped and stepped aside, nearly tripping over the collapsed man.

The man was ready for Dipper. He made a grand kick out towards Dipper. Training with Arline, however, prepared him for it. He side-stepped and lunged in, grabbing the weapon.

"Hands off, you punk!" the man snarled.

"Why don't you let go then," Dipper managed to say as he panted, feeling the might of the man as he struggled to maintain a firm grip over the weapon. A foot made its way next to Dipper's leg, and pushed. The man shoved Dipper back, and then drove the stock of the weapon into Dipper's stomach.

The wind was, for the second time that day, knocked out of him and he reeled back. A rush of air made him flinch, and he wheezed, "Jess, careful!"

The Harpy dived at the man, who reached out for her foot. She was now stuck trying to fly away, as the man anchored her down. "Let GO!" she roared, trying to kick out at the man's hands.

"Then stay DOWN!" he snapped back, and swung her to the ground with all his might. Jess screamed as she took a direct and sudden hurtle against the solid ground. Tough or not, she took the impact full, and rolled aside, gasping and coughing.

"Bagged," the man sneered as he aimed for her.

From next to him, a figure arise and screamed, "BELLY POWEEEERRR!"

Soos's grand stomach appeared out of nowhere. The Hunter's eyes shot wide as a gut the size of his body rose out of the darkness and slammed into his head, knocking him up into the air. Throw up, the Hunter's head struck a pipe line. The force was enough to crack the pipe, and the man fell and hit the ground with another sick thud.

As Soos emerged into the red light, he massaged his belly. "That's right, my proud stomach. You can digest anything, can't you?"

"Hey," a voice called to Soos from his right. Soos looked over, and before he could kindly reply, a net shot out.

Off his feet Soos went, tumbling backwards and tied up in a rough, firm wrap. He rolled away, nearing what appeared to be ledge for various unused boiling vats.

Dipper stood and shouted. "Soos!" As he charged, the man was re-loading his weapon, which gave Dipper the chance he needed. He got close enough, and then swerved aside as a second net was shot out, missing Dipper entirely. He grabbed the business end of the barrel, and pulled forward, knocking the man off balance. Stumbling forward, another figure ran up to Dipper, lifted herself upward, and kicked out with both feet.

Jess slammed her feet into the man's face. Pushed from forward, and then back, the Hunter was mid air and moving away from Jess. Dipper, still holding onto the weapon, used it as leverage, and pushed the man down. From mid-air, the man crashed down. His hands limp, Dipper took the weapon away from the unconscious Hunter. Jess was on the ground, the orange light from various warning lights cascading over her face. He lowered a hand to her. "Nice kick," he smiled.

Jess gulped, looking to his hand. Taking it, she managed to nod, and mumbled something about seeing him fight.

Soos's voice floated over, "Uhh, could I get some help here?"

Dipper chuckled, and with Jess at his side, the two approached the tied up and bound Handyman. Dipper grasped at one of the sides, and began to unravel. "Man, these things are tight," he growled, "these guys aren't cheap with their tools."

"Professional," Soos hummed, still knotted. "You know, had we not been enemies, I'd almost compliment them on their professional tendencies."

"They're trying to kill us," Jess reminded with agrunted.

"Only Graupner's Goons are trying that. These guys want us bagged," Dipper argued, helping Jess untie a closed knot of rope.

"Exactly. They're all crazy and wild," Soos mused," which is fine, but they have a mission, and just go crazy about it," he said as the net slowly became loosened.

_Boomph._

Dipper gasped and turned, his weapon up. It was too late though. Just as he and Jess spun around to see it, another net slammed, this time, into Dipper. Lifted off his feet and carried back, Dipper slide across the ledge of the vat chambers, now tied up with his robbed weapon.

"DIPPER!" Jess cried out, running to help Dipper as Soos started to lean up.

Alberta Jeffreys appraoched, his weapon out and a cigarette in his mouth. He took a breath, and watched Jess run. "Squawking in danger," he chortled, and patted the cigarette, "typical monsters."

"Hey!" Soos stood up, shaking off the nets from him.

Alberta paused, eying Soos. "What, lardo?" he asked.

"Okay, first of all, I know that was meant as an insult," Soos said, a finger out as he counter, "but lard is wonderful. It makes food taste great sometimes, and can be a great binding agent if used properly. So hah," Soos nodded, " and secondly, what's that about typical monsters? Not cool, dawg."

Alberta rolled his eyes, and approached Soos without care. "So, you're one of those 'Extra-Normal' believers, huh?" he asked.

"Uh, I guess," Soos shrugged, stepping to the side, attempting to block off Dipper and Jess from Alberta.

"Then you'd be stupid as well as fat," Alberta snorted, "monsters like harpies, and merfolk, and goblins all are dangerous creatures that should be either put down or on a leash," he sneered.

"I'm not stupid," Soos huffed, "monsters are totally chill too. People like Jess and her family are the reason why people should trust monsters! I mean, 'Extra-Normals'," he quoted.

"You ever fought a monster, fatty?" Alberta grinned, "you ever have to fight for your life against something that looks at humans and licks its lips because it's hungry?"

"Well, yes," Soos shrugged, "but people are bad too! I mean, you're trying to do bad stuff to other people now! Does that mean you should be put on a leash?"

Alberta's grin faded, and his eyes sharpened. "I'm better than monsters. I don't kill them, but I'm not going to let them walk over me. Now, out of the way, fatso."

"I'm not moving, you jerk of a hunter," Soos gulped, "and if that means I have to fight you... uh... okay," he said, and he slowly widened his arms, ready to engage in a match.

Alberta shook his head. "Move. I don't need to waste a perfectly good tranquilizer on you."

"Uh, you will in a moment!" Soos warned, his voice shaking.

"Just give us a bit more time!" Dipper called out.

"You can do it, Soos!" Jess cheered.

Soos yelled and threw his first punch. Alberta caught it with an open hand and cast it aside. "Wow. Huh," Soos thought. "Well, try this!" he cried out, and then made his best attempt at a kick. The man simply stepped around him, and pushed Soos down. "Oof!" Soos grunted as he rolled back up, and ran to block off Alberta from Jess and Dipper.

"You're a persistent chump, aren't you?" Alberta shook his head.

"For my friends, you have no idea dawg," Soos gulped.

Alberta laughed. "Friends!?" he shook his head. "You mean those people who have been able to keep you safe this entire time?" Alberta pointed past Soos. The Handyman faltered in his stance. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?" Alberta asked.

"Soos, don't listen to him!" Dipper called out, "you're plenty helpful!"

"Yeah!" Jess added.

"How?" Alberta called out loud, "like now? Where he can only be a huge, fat, barrier between me and you?" he asked, "or how he can't even watch the status of his very own car?" Or-" Soos's head fell, his entire body language becoming slumped. Alberta nodded. "Yeah, see? You're useless without these guys. You're a man who doesn't even deserve to be called a man. So get out of my-"

"What the heck is your freakin' problem?!" Dipper shouted. "How can you be so different from your brother!?"

The glaring eyes of Alberta shifted. He looked past Soos to Dipper, tied up and stuck on the floor. "You don't know a thing about my brother," Alberta scoffed.

"Yes I _do_!" Dipper growled.

"Oh, great," Alberta rolled his eyes, "another fan boy. Wrote him letters, did you?" Alberta asked, "did you want him to help you get through a hard part of your life? Seen all his movies!?" Alberta snapped, spit flying from his mouth. "Well trust me, he's nothing like the movies about him! He's a liar, and-"

"I'm not his fan," Dipper interrupted loudly, "I personally met him."

Alberta stood up fully. "You didn't."

"Uh, yeah, I did," Dipper added, "and I know he's not half of an ass you are!"

"Where?" Alberta demanded, pushing Soos away as he stepped closer. "Where is he!?" he demanded as Soos fell to the ground, watching Alberta leave with shimmering eyes.

"He was at Gravity Falls this summer, but he left. My sister and I convinced him to-" Dipper started, but the man shoved aside Jess and grabbed the netting, holding Dipper up with his hands.

In a tone dripping with malice, Alberta Jeffreys asked, "if you don't tell me, I will not only turn you in for the pay, but I'll torture you as much as I can do so without destroying you. Physically, that is," he added.

Dipper leaned away, feeling the stinking breath of the man wafting by. "You're insane," Dipper grumbled.

Alberta then roared, "WHERE IS HE!?"

"How would I know!?" Dipper shrugged.

Jess roared, took a flap of her arms to go airborne, and then slammed into the chest of Alberta. The man stumbled back, and rolled away as Jess crashed onto the ground. Alberta was back on his feet already as his cigarette fell apart. He swore loudly as his weapon skidded and fell off the ledge into the vats. The man with madness in his eyes crawled up and marched over to a struggling Jess. With a stomp, he slammed his foot onto the center of her back. She cried out, her eyes welling with tears.

"Damn... monsters," Alberta snarled, pushing down on Jess's spine.

"Hel-help-hel-" Jess gagged as she found she could not intake air.

"LET GO OF HER!" Dipper shouted, and stood, untangling the loosened net from his body. As he stood, Alberta raced to him, aware that Dipper still held the weapon he claimed from one of his hunters. Dipper had no time to align a shot. Alberta was fast as someone his age could be- and he snatched the weapon from Dipper, and held it away.

Dipper couldn't let him stay armed. He kicked up and out, knocking the rifle from his hands. as it spiraled away, he leapt, and drove a fist at Alberta, who weaved around it, and head butted Dipper.

The injury from crashing his car still hadn't healed, and Dipper yelled as he felt as if his head might split open. Clutching his skull, he stepped away, but still had sights of the mad hunter. Casting aside his pain, Dipper whirled about, and threw a kick against Alberta. Though the hunter caught the kick, he was winded, and Dipper then threw a punch across his face.

"Dipper!" Jess shouted, having recovered and grasped the needle rifle, "hold him steady!"

"I can't!" Dipper shouted as he struggled against the impressive training and hardened body of Alberta Jeffrey's, "Just shoot him!"

"Don't!" Alberta snarled, glancing to the harpy once before jabbing at Dipper, "you'll miss! You'll hit _him_!"

"No, Jess!" Dipper shouted, "trust me, just shoot!"

Now grappling Dipper, Alberta grinned, showing his stained teeth. "C'mon then," he chuckled, "try it. See how good the tweety bird shoots," he licked his lips.

Jess went red and she shrieked, "_Stop calling me that_!" and pulled the trigger.

Alberta pivoted, and spun Dipper an inch to the side as he stepped away. The needle flew forward, and as a projectile would, it struck the first thing in it's path. Dipper cringed as he was moved into the path of the projectile, and it stuck just under his armpit, awkwardly sticking from his shirt.

Dipper gasped and stumbled, clinging onto Alberta. Jess dropped the weapon, her hands at her mouth. Alberta merely lifted his hands and placed them at the scruff of Dipper's vest.

"And my work was done for me," he said, holding up the limp Dipper. "Thanks for the help, Tweety Bir-"

Dipper roared and pushed forward. Like a man emerging from the gave a fresh and angered beast, Dipper cast himself at Alberta, and drove him into the air. Soos watched with Jess as Dipper shoved Alberta, tossing him to the edge. The Hunter had no where else to go, and as he yelled out once, he fell down the vat, vanishing into the darkness some twenty feet away.

Dipper's fingers clung to the surface as he held on, having fallen off himself. Jess and Soos both rushed forward. Soos skidded with his knees against the ground as he tried to reach out for Dipper, along with his harpy friend.

But Dipper's fingers slipped.

The two, in a world where the silence they heard was only in their minds, watched as Dipper fell. His beanie fell away from his head as his hair blew freely in the wind, and then he also entered the darkness below. A moment later.

BAM.

Soos and Jess both cried out.

"H-Hang on, dude!" Soos yelled, standing up as quickly as he could, and looking around. He saw a ladder that led below. "C'mon, Jess!"

She nodded, eyes glued wide as she refused to look away from the spot Dipper had vanished. Climbing down the ladder was a quick, hasty endeavor by the two. Soos constantly slipped, and eventually jumped from almost six feet up. While he landed roughly, he pushed himself upright. Jess glided from the top, and raced ahead.

The two spotted him.

Dipper had landed on a sheet of metal, facing the sky. His eyes were closed, and one of his hands lay near the needle, still stuck in his side.

"Dipper!" Jess ran over with Soos, who skidded to a halt next to him. "Is he..." she started, and choked, "Is he-"

"Hold on dawg," Soos panted, and he leaned down, feeling Dipper's palm.

"Soos, is he-"

"Jess, hold on dawg," Soos panicked, "I have to make sure he's okay."

"No, he can't be!" she cried, and kneeled next to him, and touched his side, "I needed to tell him how much I loved him! He needed to know!"

Soos gasped, and turned to her. "Oh... oh Jess," Soos said, his tone beaten. "I'm sorry."

"I... if I had warned him about this," she started, tears now welling in her eyes, "then maybe, maybe, you all would have kept away, and... and this wouldn't have happened," she sniffled, and wiped her eyes before beginning to quietly sob.

Dipper's eyes opened. "Uh, Jess," he grumbled.

Jess leapt into the air, akin to receiving a jolt of lightning. "D-Dipper!" she shrilly said, blushing so greatly that even the dim light couldn't mask it.

"DIPPER!" Soos roared, and wrapped his arms around his neck in a mighty embrace.

"Ack! Soos!" Dipper choked, "easy!"

Soos let go, and glared. He, Soos, actually glared at Dipper. "Don't you... don't you even go and pretend to die like that! Totally not cool, dawg! Pterodactyl bros don't go feigning death without telling the other!"

"Ptero-what?" Jess hiccuped.

"Soos, I wasn't pretending," Dipper grumbled, and leaned up, rubbing the back of his head, "I hit my head on the way down. But, lucky for us," he smiled, and slammed his fist on the metal he sat on, and it made an impressive thunderous BAM, "the floor here is aluminum. Absorbed most of my impact. Honestly though," he added as he groaned, "it still stunned the heck out of me. Sounded like you guys were a mile away."

Soos leaned in. "But, dude, you got shot," Soos pointed to the still imbedded needle.

Dipper smirked. "Yeah, everyone saw that. I thought I was a goner too, but," he flicked the needle out, and reached under his vest, withdrawing his book, "boom. Journals coming in handy even when not referenced. The needle just hit the binding cover! I just acted like I was being knocked out so Alberta would lower his defenses," Dipper explained with a smirk.

"Dude," Soos sniffled, "that's pretty awesome, dawg."

Dipper smiled. "Thanks buddy. If you hadn't been there, I may not have been able to sell it though," he shrugged. Soos's smile faded slightly, but he nodded. He glanced to Jess, who inexplicably turned and looked away. "Well," Dipper cleared his throat, "maybe we should head up? Hopefully we can get out without drawing anymore-"

"HOLD IT!"

The three jumped, and looked up. At the top of the ledge, some twenty feet up, a man stood, panting. He was holding another needle gun, and pointing it to them. They recognized as the man they had first knocked out, using the mascot as a disguise. Glaring down at them, he spat to the side.

"Kiddies, this ends now," he growled, "you stay put until my other buds get up, or I'll inject you all without enough tranq. to sleep for a _year_!" he roared.

"Dude," Dipper groaned, "just give it up! We already beat your boss, and everyone else. Just call it quits!"

"NO!" he yelled, "this time, we're bagging the best prize. Now stand still or-"

WHACK.

A hand-sized detached pipe struck across the hunter's back, and he stumbled. Collapsing to his side, another stood in his place, dropping the removed pipe with a loud clatter. Adjusting his glasses, he nodded down to them and waved a six-fingered hand. "I thought re-grouping would be wise, since the hunters were doing the same," Stanford stated, as Mabel, Wendy, and Jace arrived next to him.

Have the group walk outside was less troublesome than Dipper had anticipated. The idea of walking before the crowds of traumatized visitors and guests to the old factory had frightened him, but with a bit of lick-pocking smarts from Wendy, the gang used a previous sealed door to just walk out of the back, with no one there to ask annoying questions.

"I"m just glad that the cops showed up at all," Jace explained as they closed the doors behind them, "even if the army isn't coming, or are late, or whatever," he shrugged, "the state militia scared away those machine gunners and their stupid helicopter."

"So, your parents are okay?" Mabel asked.

"Yeah. Waiting for us across the river. We'll be heading south. There's a city by the Chesapeake bay that may have a cruise that leads to the bahamas. It's either that or Greece. Or not," Jace rolled his eyes, "I have no idea where mom and dad want to go next."

"Well, when you get to Baltimore," Mabel patted his arm, "say good morning for me."

As Jace chuckled, Dipper marched straight up to Stanford. "You ran away!" Dipper growled, turning to Ford. Now outside and in the back alley, he stared at the middle-aged man. "We could have used your help, and you decided to duck and run!"

"Dipper, I immediately sought out your sister and Wendy," Stanford insisted. "The only reason I was able to get as far back to you was because we joined forces afterwards. Besides, had I not left to get them, how would you have faired with that last hunter?" Stanford asked. Dipper glowed red. "Dipper," Stanford suddenly sighed, "I... understand that, well, you've read my journals. You've seen the things I've written in them. 'Trust no one' is exactly why I ended up becoming a pawn in Bill Cipher's plans!" he barked.

"We know," Dipper grumbled.

"But I'm _not_ the person you've met," Stanford argued. "I am, somehow, from your past, into my own future. Based on what you informed the Boreas family," he added, adjusting his glasses against the bridge of his nose, "this stone and the explosion are the cause for removing reality." Dipper's jaw tightened, and he glared at Stanford. "I never pressed you for information, Dipper, but when you are willing to divulge, I need to listen. I want to understand what's going on here as much as you."

"And... what do you think?" Dipper asked.

"I..." Stanford stood up. "Will be willing to explain, but I'll need some materials. Just to explain how my theory stands."

Dipper pocketed his hands, and shrugged. "Fine. I... I guess that can't hurt."

Stanford smiled. "Excellent! I'll go get to Stanley's old car with Soos. Dipper," he added as he turned, "you really should get that looked at. Head trauma is not something to be taken lightly for great minds like the two of us."

Dipper paused as he watched Ford walk away. His heart had taken a second beat, and he stood, rooted to the ground as he watched his young great-uncle walk away. Dipper couldn't help it; trust or not, his lips curled into a soft smile. Stanford Pines, the mind behind the three journals, considered Dipper a 'great mind'.

"Ahem." Dipper turned around, and found Jess in the shadows.

"Oh, Jess," he said, facing her.

"Hey," she managed with a puff of energy. "Ah," she tried speaking, but her voice faltered. "Uh..." she tried again.

Watching her carefully was almost painful. She herself was not a person who could voice her emotions well, and Dipper could empathize entirely. He could almost see himself there, struggling to find the words to say to... Wendy.

She sighed and finally spoke. "Dipper, I know, uh, that I said something really, really, really... big, back there," she played with the feathers by her ears, "but, I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am," she swallowed loudly, "for letting the situation get the better of me. You already- I mean, I don't really- I mean-" she put her hands to the sides of her head and groaned.

Dipper let a corner of his cheek turn upright. "Hey, I getcha."

She looked up to him. "Yeah?" she asked.

Dipper shrugged. "Totally do. I mean, it doesn't help that I knew you felt that way since we basically met."

"Wh-what!?" she gasped.

"Uh, yeah," Dipper nodded.

"H-h-how?! I never told anyone! Any... Jace," she growled, and started to march ahead with her face hot like a burning poker.

"Whoa, whoa," Dipper held her back, "this had nothing to do with your brother. Look, Jess," Dipper leaned down to her, "I know you think you're alone, right now, with this sort of feeling. Like no one can understand how impossible you think it is, to look at someone like, well, the person you care about and have someone understand what you're going through in your head, but believe me," Dipper looked into her eyes, "I do."

She blinked, her expression becoming one of awe. "Have... you been psychic this entire time, Dipper?" she asked.

Dipper laughed. "No. Not yet at least. Still considering the pros and cons to that one," he admitted to the side. "No, I mean... I went through what you're going through."

"You... did?" she asked. He nodded. "It... was it with someone who lived in Gravity Falls?" she asked.

Dipper glanced back, spotting the trailing hair of Wendy as she walked with Mabel and Jace. "I guess you could say that she _lived_ in Gravity Falls," he sighed.

Jess sighed. "It _is_ Wendy," she said, her head falling.

"Hey," he turned back to her, "why does that matter to you?"

"Because that means you'll never feel the same way," Jess sniffled, "and, it's stupid and wrong for me to just want that! Right?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes, "like, what kind of selfish idiot wants someone for themselves even when they know they like somebody else?"

Dipper reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Jess, I know it hurts. Look at me; I'm still not dating Wendy," he admitted. She looked to him, confusion dotting her tears. "It's... really complicated with the wraith stuff," Dipper admitted, "but that's kind of the trouble. We may want to control the way we feel, but sometimes we can't."

"It sucks," Jess sniffed, rubbing her eyes.

"Sometimes," he nodded, "but sometimes it doesn't. Love sort of hurts, in sometimes the best and sometimes the worst ways. But we have to learn how to cope with the bad as much as the good. It's just like life."

Jess laughed, looking at him. "That's why I like you. You're stupidly smart," she said with a grin.

"Give yourself a few years, Jess," Dipper said, "you'll look back and think how much of an idiot I was. Probably," he added with a shake of his head.

A ruffle of feathers suddenly launched at him. He almost fell back, but instead found himself in a hug. Tears were falling into his shoulders, soaking his shirt and vest, but he found only a warm smile spreading across his face. The hug was tight around his arms, and he gently patted her back.

"I'm going to miss you," she managed.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too," he said as she leaned back. She walked around him as he stood up.

"Jace!" she called, beginning a run forward. He turned, seeing her leave with Dipper. "We can go now!"

"Oh, well only with your permission, your highness," he rolled his eyes. He turned to Mabel, and again exchanged a hug. Mid-hug, Jess jabbed his ribs. "Ow," he grunted. The two approached the end of the parking lot together, and found themselves under the patch of opening sky where the clouds parted.

"Bye guys!" Mabel cheered.

"Good luck saving us all from certain magical doom!" Jace beamed as he leapt into the air, followed by his sister.

"Safe migrations!" Ford waved after them. Soos sniffled, and waved too.

"You go, harpy sibs!" he called. Wendy waved too, chuckling and patting Soos's shoulders.

Dipper merely smiled and watched them grow higher and higher. Into the blue sky they rose, leaving only a few loose feathers to drift and all before them.

Except for something heavier. It landed right at Dipper's feet, and he looked down. Worn, old, and unmistakable, his old Pine-hat was at his feet. Lifting it back up, he turned back and stared at Jess, concern in his gaze. He found her looking back, beaming.

"I don't need it anymore," she beamed at him, "after all, I don't need to hide being a harpy these days!"

Without another word to one another, Jess and Dipper went their separate ways.

Dipper looked to his hands. There, resting in his palm, was indeed his old hat. It looked so distant to him, like a memory he had never known he could remember. Yet, instantly recognizable. A treasure now, surely. After all, it was only made by Stanford in the mystery Manor. A place that no longer existed.

A memory of home.

Dipper adjusted the back fitting, and then slowly slipped it on.

The rest of the journey through the city was uneventful, but no less tense. As they passed through the streets, the caravan passed the raw destruction the actions of Graupner's cult The Rising Grasp had caused. Emergency response teams had quickly replied to the many incidents across town, but Dipper never once saw more important army or military presence.

As they drove out, he noted to Mabel as she sat with him, "the heck happened with the military anyway?"

"Don't know," Mabel shrugged, "that nutty helicopter was chasing after Jace 'n Jess's dad and Mom, and then suddenly just left. Guess they got tired or something."

"Weird. They had us on the run," Dipper mumbled.

The drive out of town was far less stressful. As according to plans, the lot arrived by a small motel five minutes away from the highway leading north, and easily purchased a room for the day and night. After the events that had followed, no one argued about the idea of rest.

As they exited and climbed into the rooms, Ford grunted. "This Zander though, he's got enough sensitive information that he decides the times for these chats?"

"Oh yeah!" Mabel nodded, and bounded onto the bed, which sounded more like a plank of woods than a mattress. "Hmm. Nice and tough!" she patted the rock-hard sheets. She turned back to Ford. "Zander, or, uh, the Gaurdsman, is all about being a secret agent with crazy martial arts powers!"

"And he's kind of controlling," Wendy said as she stepped inside, passing a silent Soos by the Door.

"Not crazy controlling," Mabel insisted.

"Well, his anti-magical nonsense is enough to gain a certificate of warning from my expertise," Ford grumbled, lying against the wall.

Dipper was about to open his mouth, in some sort of agreement. Then the phone in his hand buzzed. He looked to it, and sighed.

"He's calling," he said, and looked around, "Let's get this... where is Soos?" he asked.

Wendy was the first to look about, and notice the door being ajar. "I bet he went off to the car. Dude's been looking a little sullen. I'll go check," she shrugged, and walked out the door. As Dipper answered the phone from the inside, Wendy stepped outside, and spotted Soos instantly. He was already moving around to the side of the building. She couldn't even call out to him before he was out of sight.

Words echoed into Soos's mind. He strained at the realization of how impactful they had been.

_You mean those people who have been able to keep you safe this entire time? Where he can only be a huge, fat, barrier between me and you? _Alberta Jeffrey's words cut like swords into his brain, leaving him with short, panting breathes.

Soos didn't feel anger at the words, but he felt the weight of what he felt to be truth running down his spine. He felt heavy, sunken into the truth that he, Soos, had been tasked to watch over the twins and Wendy, and thus far had only ended up watching them.

How did he mess it all up? When did he really lose control? He looked back into his past, trying to find out how it had all gone badly. Where could he find out the trouble and fix it?

Where? How? He'd do anything to fix this mess!

Images and memories flashed into his mind, and suddenly, he wasn't alone.

"Wendy?" Soos asked, turning around as he opened his eyes. Instead, a single eye stared back at him. He yelled, and leapt back. Floating before him, in broad daylight, was a creature he had only seen in his nostalgic dreams. A triangle with a flat head, silver lines, and a purple interior stared at him. An elaborately decorated top hat floated just above the edge of the flat head, and the being spoke in a cool, soothing voice as it floated around him, twirling a lacey umbrella. "You!?" he gasped, watching her circle him.

"Yes, Soos, I have heard you," Kelly Yore said.

"B-but this isn't possible," he said.

"It is. I'm in your mind, Soos. You looked back, seeking answers," she explained, and popped open her umbrella, holding onto it with her silver hands and fingers, "well, here I am."

"I didn't ask for you," Soos pouted.

"You didn't need to," she said, growing wider until she was as wide as a truck. The purple color of her interior vanished, and she became images and people. "I see into that desperation," she explained, showing him trying to fight Alberta, "I see into your hopelessness," she showed Soos thrown down the pit in the Haunted Mansion with the others, "and I see... into your fear," she said, and showed him trembling before the shadow of bufflo, ready to do battle. "Soos," she said as she showed his reflection, but with nothing buy darkness behind him, "you need my help."

"Your help?" he asked.

"I offered you my help once," she proclaimed, and the image of Soos vanished, replacing with a flag of two hands holding a four pointed star with flames behind it. "My prophecy comes true still," she explained, "and I offer you my aid, Soos."

"Why?!" he demanded, "you, you don't get anything from this deal, do you? So why are you helping me?"

"Soos, I am gaining something from this deal," she cooed, and shrunk in size, "your _trust_."

He paused, and picked at his fingers. "Why... does that matter?"

We waved her umbrella through the air lackadaisically. "My family doesn't have the best reputation right now. All I want is to begin to remind people that we're not just evil. We can be helpful. Soos," she leaned in, "I can end this all, right now. All I need is your permission to help you shape one event in your past," she explained, "one moment that will alter everything you've experienced past that point, and make your life, and everyone else's, better."

"But why?" he asked again, her words infecting his mind.

"You certainly have learned from Dipper about trust, haven't you?" she asked, chuckling, "well... Soos, you're not helping much right now, aren't you? You can't stand up to your enemies, you can't provide more insight to your friends, and now you don't even have the tools to do the one thing you've always been good at," she reminded him, "fixing things."

"S-So?" he asked, his lip trembling, as he shifted his hat down.

"I can give you a chance," she proclaimed, "an opportunity to make the greatest change of all! The fix-up of a lifetime," she said.

"B-by altering my past?" Soos blinked.

"Oh yes," she nodded. "One... very important moment, and the timeline you know... gone," she waved her hands, displaying phantasm visions, "Graupner as a menace?" his vision appeared, and then became dissipating smoke. "Wendy as a wraith?" she asked, and the same feature appeared and dissipated, "poof. Gravity Falls being wiped from existence?"

"How?!" he demanded, coming forward, "tell me how!"

"Simple," she said, her voice level and cool, "just... shake my hand." she held out her hand, which suddenly burst into icy blue flame. Soos stared at it, and then to her. "I am not a demon who possesses, Soos," she assured, "but I will hold my end of the bargain."

"But," he gulped.

"Soos, if you're so hesitant," she said, and held out a second hand, "I'll offer you a trial. If you don't like it, we'll discuss the solution together. But I promise, you'll love the changes I provide."

Soos stood back, a hand to his lips. A trial? And he could reverse it? This whole time, Kelly Yore had never said a word of negativity to him, and now she offered an escape if he didn't like it? He hadn't been able to help the team so far. Maybe... maybe this was it? After all, it could be un-done.

Her words met his thoughts. She said, "this is your chance to really fix it, Soos."

Soos grabbed the edge of his cap, and twisted it around. "O-Okay, miss Yore," he nodded, and extended his hand to clasp around hers.

The black ribbons of the abyss he had seen in his dreams unraveled from around her. Soos yelped and tried pulling away from Kelly, but she remained looking into his eyes. "Don't fret, Soos," she explained with a soothing hum," I'm going to make this better. Better... for everyone."

Soos felt the light of the universe fall away. He was floating. Gone.

He was alone. Gone from time and space.

The only thing he thought he heard as he closed his sleepy eyes was his name being called out. Distantly. Was it Wendy?

Soos couldn't help it.

He closed his eyes, and was gone.

* * *

So as much as I like to think that I've got some original ideas, I know a ton of you saw this one coming. From the moment I had Soos start doubting himself, you all were like "AWW EZB, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HIM DO BAD STUFF WITH THE DEMON" and I'm sitting here like...

Naaahhhh. No way, brah.

Welp, you were right. Darn it.

And, for our beloved Harpy siblings, a final salute. *EZB salutes* may they fly away into the sunset... until the halloween episode.

AND! Tomorrow, until next update, I will have a vote up on my writers page. It will go over the list of things people might want to see on the halloween mega-episode coming at the end of the month. The vote will be up all next week, until I update again. When I do, I'll announce that I'll have tallied what you all voted for, and I'll write the Halloween episode.

If you have any final ideas for WHAT you'd like I recommend you write it in a review. I'll add them if they make me either 1. Chuckle, 2. Go YUSH, 3. Make me go 'ohh creepy'. I have four ideas down now, so more may be added. :D

But until then, I leave you all wondering 'the heck happened to the goons of the Rising Grasp'. Because all things, you see, have answers.

(EZB promptly lifts an entire bag of candy corn out from under his desk) Now, time to enjoy the delicious sweetness. (he reaches for the candy, but the candy slides away. Animated and alive, it hops up and down, making 'devilish giggles'.)

Ohhh no. I got some throw-away candy. (EZB is struck so viciously with the candy that he is impaled and stuck to the wall by various pieces of Candy... CORN!)

* * *

Yzgtj ut znk kjmk ul znk vutj, ruuqotm gz euaxykrl, eua ykk cngz utre eua igt. Zgqk g yzkv otzu znk cgzkx zu ruuq ngxjkx, eua soyy cngz cgy hknotj eua znk ktzoxk zosk.

**-AND-**

Gsv Qvuuivbh yilgsvih, hzw hglib gszg. Gltvgsvi zmw rmhvkzizyov, zmw gsvm gsvb ulfmw gsv kfkh. Dsl dlfow szev gslftsg gszg Zoyvigz dlfow yv hfxs z sliiryov kvihlm? Zg ovzhg Nlmgzmz rh tivzg gl srh uzmh. R svzi gszg sv dirgvh yzxp gl gsv uzmh gszg mvvw srn gsv nlhg!

**-AND-**

20-8-5 15-14-12-25 16-9-20-20 25-15-21'12-12 23-1-14-20 20-15 19-20-1-25 9-14-19-9-4-5 15-6!


	89. Soos-Less: Part 1

"Soos!"

Wendy had heard voices around the corner. Walking out from the motel room and near the side of the building, she saw Soos holding out his hand to... something. Something with a blurry, faded outline. She couldn't remember what she had seen- like it never existed. Still, she had seen Soos stumble back to the wall and nearly collapse.

The redhead called behind her shoulder as she darted forward to Soos, "Guys!"

He was falling off the wall, eyes unfocused and closing. Grasping him firmly, she lowered him in a controlled manner to the damp earth, but watched his face. His eyes opened and closed over and over, blinking something away.

"Soos," Wendy waved her hand before him. He didn't respond. "Soos!" she cried after he slumped back, and began to mutter.

Footsteps reached her, and she looked back. Dipper and Mabel came running, and were followed by Ford, who stalled at the sight of Soos.

"What happened?" Dipper asked.

"Did he hit his head on the wall?" Mabel asked, seeing his fluttering eyes.

Ford then stepped closer. "His hand," he pointed.

The thee looked to Soos's right hand. A small spiral of blue embers crackled in the palm. His skin was not scorched or singed. A patter was growing along his palm, and slowly encased his hand. Spirals and swerving blue lines began to wrap around Soos, climbing up his arm.

"The heck is that?!" Dipper roared, pointing to that.

"Is a ghost doodling on him or something?" Mabel asked Ford.

Ford shook his head. "That's... I think..."

Wendy then cringed, and held her head. There was a terrible wave of something she hadn't truly felt in three years: heat. She was burning on the inside. Something was wrong. The magic was wrong. She opened her eyes, looking as Dipper approached her.

She managed to choke out of her mouth, "not... good..."

Ford lifted up one of Soos' now closed eyelids. A bright blue light shone out.

"He's... made a deal," Ford declared, "a deal with a demon."

"He wouldn't!" Mabel cried out. "He knows better than to ever trust Bill Cipher!"

Ford opened his mouth to speak, but he, along with those nearby gasped. The ground trembled. In a flash of lightning and crackle of thunder, the sky went from blue to a void. The four around Soos were lifted off their feet, gravity abandoning the world.

"Hoooomygawd," Mabel yelled as she began to spin rapidly in place.

"What's going to happen!?" Dipper yelled, trying to grab hold of the building.

Wendy yelled, floating with them, but furiously clutching her head. "It hurts!" she yelled.

"What does?!" Ford and Dipper both yelled.

She finally cracked open an eye, tears falling as she saw them with her bright green pupils. "I feel again," she admitted, "like I haven't felt in years. Alive."

The darkness swelled. The sky grew darker still, and the tattoo like inscriptions along Soos' arms crawled around his neck, his head, his face. As the darkness of the infinite space itself swam down, snuffing out the light of the sun, choking and blistering the sky and the world around them, Soos's eyes opened.

And everything faded to darkness.

* * *

"-But telling them like that, I mean, really, mom and dad are so cheap. I don't care what kind of emerald they think it was-"

Soos gasped as he shot up. Hyperventilating, he looked to the source of sound. He knew that voice.

Only, as he sat up, his head hit the underside of a solid, metal sheet. WHACK. Groaning, he rubbed his head and clutched his eyes. Nothing was in focus. There was distant laughter, and someone approached him, holding a hand to his shoulder.

"You okay?" a chuckling voice asked.

Soos nodded. "Aww, I think so, dawg. Nailed my head on something really hard," he said, blinking. "I didn't think there was something right above me."

"You mean a car hood?" the voice asked as a person came into focus. Long, almost hip length blond hair. Expensive and tailor-fit suit and skirt. Jewelry. Sharp blue eyes, and perfectly straightened teeth.

Soos gasped and rubbed his eyes, almost falling off what felt like a small stool. He stood hastily up as the metal stool fell aside. "P-P-Pacifica?!" he gasped.

Pacifica Northwest laughed and rolled her eyes as she leaned back, and took a seat in a chair some feet away. "Um, yes?" she asked. "Man, you must have hit your head harder than you thought!"

Soos spun around.

He wasn't in the side of the motel.

He wasn't even outside. He wasn't in his usual hat, or clothes. He wasn't as bruised or tired feeling- he felt warm and fed, and the comforting, familiar smell of motor oil and hot metal touched his nostrils.

He was in some sort of garage? No, it was better. There was a beautiful and well cared for vintage red truck with it's hood open, probably where he had just struck his now throbbing head. There were tools all along the walls, and enough space for three more trucks of the same size, or even larger. Soos's mouth began to salivate as he saw not one, not two, but _seven_ tool trays of top-of-the line mechanics tools.

"What heaven is this?" he asked, holding a hand to his head, "this is amazing!"

"Okay," Pacifica cocked an eyebrow. "You _must_ have hurt yourself to be complimenting your own workshop. It's not like you."

Soos whirled around to her. So far, things made no sense, but at least him being in some sort of workshop kind of could. Pacifica Northwest? In a workshop with Soos? She wasn't dirty, and watched him carefully, but she was here. And didn't seem to be tied down or stuck here.

"Uhh, so," Soos looked around, trying to put together the words that made the most amount of sense to him, "you're okay, Pacifica?"

"Duh," she rolled her eyes, "I wouldn't touch that nasty oiled stuff. Could ruin my nails," she said, holding her hand closer.

"Haha, right. Motor oil does- wait," Soos shook his head, "I mean, you're still around? Like, not zapped by the crazy bright light!"

Pacifica's self-concern evaporated. She slowly looked to Soos, her eyes wide. "What the hell are you talking about? What bright light? Oh my god," She stood up, "Soos, are you seeing things? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

Soos gasped, rubbing his head. "Uhh, probably not. I can still count my fingers, and from what I can tell, that's how professionals tell if you're injured in the brain," he said, looking to his ten fingers. They looked far more callused than he remembered, but they felt stronger. He looked back up to Pacifica. "But what are you doing here, Pacifica? Is this your truck?" he asked.

Pacifica stood up, looking into his eyes. "Soos, are you okay? I mean, I always hide here when I want to get away from my parents," she shrugged, "like normal?"

"Oh," Soos nodded slowly, "Really?"

"Yes," she rolled her eyes," a girl has to get away, and the last place my parents will ever come looking is in your dirty, oily shop. Beats being found in the mall again and again."

Soos nodded and thought upon her words, scrubbing his chin. The familiar feeling of a thin, kind of messy beared was missing. He gasped, and turned to a mirror. His chin was clean. "Aww," he sighed, "I liked my scruff."

"Huh?" she asked.

Soos shook his head. "Okay, listen, so I think I'm a little confused now, or something kooky. Is this place, uh, mine?"

"Yes," she nodded firmly.

"But I've never owned anything before," Soos gasped, and stepped around Pacifica, towards a door. "I've never lived anywhere else except-" he said as he pushed open the door and spilled light into the room with him.

Blinded as he was, Soos didn't need to see the surroundings immediately to know the feeling. The scent of the pine trees, the chatter of the folk around him, the chirping of birds, the gentle breeze that always seemed to sift through the valley...

His eyes adjusted, and Soos saw that he was back in Gravity Falls.

"Aww," he quietly said, letting it all sink in. Daniel Corduroy walked by, carrying a four foot pile of lumber, having Soos duck underneath the wood. "Aww," he said again, watching the man go. Lazy Susan strutted by.

"Heya, Soosy!" he saved.

"Awww!" he cried out, cupping his cheeks with his hands.

Pacifica appeared next to him. "Uh, Soos, you're acting really, really, really weird. That's twice the normal weird for you," she reminded him.

Soos couldn't contain it. He hollered and punched into the sky. "It's all better!" he shouted. "Yush! Yush! Yusshh!" he said, and then grabbed Pacifica, who flinched. "Don't you see how wonderful this is!?" he demanded, laughing.

"No," she said firmly as he let go and began to spin about.

He stopped spinning just in time to stop before the sign over the shop he ran, which he realized was in the center of downtown. "Ramirez Rotor-Works?" Soos asked outloud. "Ohhh, dawg, that's to coolest. It's named after my family!"

"It's named after you, dummy," Pacifica noted.

Soos turned back to her, the warm summer sun cascading down on his head. Everything seemed to fit well, except that she was here. "Huh," he noted, "me? Weird. So," he clapped his hands together, "when did mister Pines expand his workplace?"

"Who?" Pacifica asked.

"Uh, Mister Pines?" Soos asked, almost laughing, "you know? The greatest tour-guide on the planet? Great guy who anyone would deserve to have as a father?" Soos explained.

Pacifica pondered, but never stopped staring at Soos. "Pines... you mean Stanley? The old guy who runs that old shop in the woods?"

"Hah! The best old shop in the woods, dawg," Soos chuckled, "so, when did he give me this place?"

"Uhh... I don't think he had anything to do with... this?" she asked, looking to his shop.

Soos blinked. "But... I've always worked for Mister Pines."

"I don't ever remember that," she said.

"But-" Soos stalled, catching himself.

He reached up to the cap on his head. It wasn't there. The cap he had received from Stan when he started working there many years ago. He looked down to his favorite, old, mossy green shirt with the leaky question mark. Instead, he saw a solid white, but heavily stained shirt with no logo.

He slowly looked up. The realization washed over him like the coldest of showers, and he shivered in what it could mean. _One very important moment, and the timeline you know? Gone_, Kelly's words rung in his head like proud bells. He had **never** worked at the Mystery Shack.

His heart shook slightly. That could mean that they didn't know who he was. Soos gulped, and leaned back against his own workshop. Pacifica made a few steps, holding out her own cellphone. She said, "I've got hospital on hotdial, just in case," she said.

"They probably don't even remember me," Soos gasped.

"Who?" Pacifica tried, "the hospital staff?"

"Dipper, Mabel, Wendy... Mister P-... Mister P-" Soos held in a shuddering breath.

"Soos," Pacifica walked next to him, and looked into his eyes, "I'll call for someone to look at your head. You're just saying weird things over and over, and I'm not-"

"No, no," Soos patted her shoulder, "I'm good, dawg. Trust me," he said with a shaky smile.

"Really hard to, after all... whatever this is," Pacifica grumbled, looking to Soos. "You freaking out is a new one. That's my job, usually."

"Just... maybe I need a day off, right?" he shrugged, trying to find a way to excuse himself from whatever responsibilities he may suddenly have. "Bump on the head made me re-think somethings, like-"

Just past Pacifica across the street, he saw two figures who he recognized. A tall girl with gentle brown hair, and a shorter, petite girl with long, black hair and thick glasses.

"Candy! Grenda!" Soos waved, and nearly shoved past Pacifica. The two across the street halted and turned, eyeing Soos. As he ran through the street, a car skidded to a halt. "Oops! Sorry!" Soos waved.

"Afternoon, Soos!" the driver waved cheerily.

Soos stared back, but stepped aside, waving after the cheery driver. Turning back to a startled and taken off-guard Candy and Grenda, Soos panted and smiled. "Aw, nice to see you two back and not removed from un-reality!"

The two slowly turned and looked to one another. Grenda then laughed. "HAH!" she barked in her hoarse, throaty voice, "you too, Soos!" and she gave his arm a quick jab.

"What's going on, Soos?" Candy asked, eying the man still mildly taller than her friend, "did we forget a tool at your workshop?"

Soos felt excitement course through him, "Oh dawg, you build stuff at my shop!?" he asked.

"When you let us," Candy shrugged.

"Which seems to be always," Grenda snorted.

"Wow," Soos said as he gave them a small nod, "well, good to see you dudes again," he said, "we should all hang out with the twins soon! Do some crazy mystery or something," he said, walking across the street again. As he left, Grenda and Candy squinted after him, and muttered to one another. Once again, a car nearly hit him as he crossed the road. "Sorry!" he said, waving to the car.

"Hey, Soos!" Tyler Cutebiker waved at Soos as he waited for the man to pass. "Nice to see you again."

"Wow," Soos said to Pacifica, "everyone is super happy to see me."

"Hmph," she glowered past Soos to the two ladies, who as Soos glanced behind him, noticed they returned the glare, "well, it's what happens when the entire town depends on your work. Fixing and updating literally everything."

"Yeah! With my very own workshop," Soos sighed, looking to the base, "man! I wonder who gave it to me," Soos pondered. "Not that you're impressed," Soos nudged Pacifica, "you probably have like nine of 'em."

"Hey, hey," she gave him a angry look, "Northwests don't do work in our house. We outsource our maintenance to German engineers who live in our sub-basement. And we only have four workshops," she added.

The weight of a town's appreciation crashed down onto him. Never in his life had Soos considered that he'd have his own, his very own, place to work. He had always considered working at the Mystery Manor, or Shack, whatever it was now called, until he passed the torch along himself. But, if the events he thought came to be, he had his very own workshop, and by doing so, made the world a better place. At least, better than the one he had just come from.

Everyone would be better. Wendy, Mabel, Dipper, Mister Pines-

Soos clapped a hand to his forehead. "Holy teriyaki! I need to make some phone calls and stuff!" Soos said, and turned around.

As he opened the door and hurried inside, he heard Pacifica call after him, "look, I'm going to go shopping again! Just start freaking out some more and I'll get you into the best hospital bed, okay? I need to go before my parents come by and get wise!" she said as the door closed before her.

Inside, Soos giggled and hopped around as he saw all the latest, up to date, and clearly some he made himself, gadgets hanging around the walls and from the ceiling. It was a candyshop he owned, and could touch and play as long as he'd like! How could it get better?

He stepped through to another door by a short stairway. As he stepped inside, he found himself in a hallway, and nearby a landline phone. A pile of newspapers sat next to it, and he chuckled. Newspapers! The perfect way to catch up on the times when all you know is an alternative timeline.

"Ahh, Mijo, can you bring over the paper, por favor?"

Soos froze in place. The voice, all to familiar was a call from the grave. He slowly stepped to the side of the doorway and poked his head in. Sitting on the exact same comfy chair she always had been, was his grandmother.

"Abuelita!" Soos cried out, darting into the room and kneeling next to the chair. She was there, alive, wrinkly, and tired looking, but she was before him. _Alive_. "But, but how?"

"Ah, mijo, you lift up the papers and hand them to me," she smiled and patted his hands gently.

"No, you're here!" he gasped.

"Si," she nodded.

"But you're dead," he recalled.

"No, no," she calmly said, "maybe later."

"But how? You had a heart attack, like, a year ago!" he said, his eyes tearing up further.

"The medicine you bought for me made my chest not so tight," she smiled. "Such a hard working boy. Can buy his grandmother medicine and a place to stay."

"I... I saved you?" Soos whispered.

"Si," she said.

"Ohh, abuelita," Soos sniffled. His arms reached up, and he wrapped himself around his grandmother's shoulders again, something he hadn't been able to do in a long while. Letting go and wiping away his tears, he said to her, "I'm so happy you're still here. This world is... perfect."

The phone rang, and Soos looked over his shoulder.

"I'll get it," Abuelita said, ready to stand.

"No, no," Soos rocketed up, "you rest, Abuelita. I got the phone," and he walked backwards. He couldn't let her out of his sight. "Aww, it's so nice to see you."

"So sweet," she smiled, and leaned back into the chair.

Soos stepped over to the hallway, and lifted the old nineties styled land-line phone to his ear. "Hey, this is Soos, and I hope you're having a good day dawg!" he answered joyfully. "Wassup?"

A soft, cool voice answered. "I told you I would deliver on my part."

"Oh, miss Yore!" Soos laughed, "this is soo crazy! Like have extra bolts and screws left over crazy!"

"I'm so glad you think so," her voice said, "now, look over your shoulder."

"Oh, sure," he said, and turned. She was floating in the hallway behind him, her umbrella resting in her hand while leaning over her top line. "Hey," he waved to her, "I'll talk after this call, okay?" he said, and turned back. "So," he said, "how's the weather in the other reality? Still sunny?"

"Soos," the voice of Kelly yore reached him from behind the hallway, "you don't need the phone to talk with me now."

"Yeah, but it'd be rude to hang up," he said. A silver and violet hand reached out and pressed the pressure pad, ending the call. "Aw, man," Soos said as he turned to face her, "I hope she doesn't think I hung up on her. So, what's up, Kelly Yore of this timeline?"

"I'm the same Kelly you know of, Soos," she hummed.

"Oh, really?" Soos asked.

"Yes, very much so. I know the deal we made, I know what we just left from, and what we've changed to get here," she said, and spun around him slowly. "You have a lot to catch up with, mister Ramirez."

"Boy, do I!" Soos explained.

"Shall I take you for a walk?" she asked, "I can explain what you've missed since the point of time I changed."

"That'd be lovely," Soos said, and then snapped his finger, "wait! I need to get a newspaper," he reached over, and rushed away, marching into the room where his Grandmother awaited. "Abuelita, I'm going out for a bit. I need to catch up with the times with my demon friend Kelly Yore. Okay?"

"Si, si, Mijo. Don't get sunburned outside," she said, taking the newspaper and folding it out.

Soos turned, and walked with Kelly out the front door. "So," he said as he turned and faced her, walking down the street along side her, "what's new, miss equilateral?"

"I'm hardly," she said, chuckly, "but I appreciate the compliment."

"Aw, it's nothing considering what you've given me!" Soos said, his heart a flutter as he looked around his town. "You brought back town! People aren't scared of monster doom wars or crazy magic casting maniacs!"

"Indeed, not," Kelly nodded, floating ahead.

Soos paused, watching her float before him. "Wait... won't people see you?"

She chuckled, her outlines shimmering as she did. "Soos, I exist only in your memories. People can't see me unless they can see your memories. So, unless there is a time traveler here as we take our walk, no, none can see me."

"Well," Soos looked around, "I've heard about a few time-travelers in this town. You never know."

"Soos, trust me," she said, "people will just think you're taking a walk and talking to yourself. The normal," she said, giving her small umbrella a quick twirl.

"Oh, really?" he said, and turned as a truck drove past.

Robbie Valentino waved out as he drove by. "Sup Soos! Keep it real and don't mind talking to yourself like a real dude!"

"Oh wow!" he waved back. Turning back to Kelly, he sighed, "so, what'd I miss?" he said as he continued his walk with the triangular being.

"Soos, the point I changed was your meeting with Stanley Pines," she said, and floated next to him. His heart sank. "Now, now," she patted his shoulder, "do not worry, but he is fine. You believed yourself a burden to them? Well look around you! The town flourishes without your involvement with the Pines family!"

"Ehh, well, I guess," he said wistfully, "so that means I've never... worked for him?"

"No, I didn't say that," Kelly hummed, "you still do odd jobs for him, but you are the towns newest pride and joy. A real mechanic!" she declared, "fixing and upgrading everything you can, left and right! These days, when you see your old man, Stanley, he is sending you neat little gizmos to fix. Only your brains have been able to get them working again."

"Wow," he said, and then fidgeted his fingers ,"but what about the times with Gideon? And Stanford returning? Those were dangerous times."

"Soos, three years ago, you were already head of your little shop!" Kelly declared. "You are the one responsible for fixing most of the town! If you hadn't been there, the town would mostly be in ramshackle state."

"Really? Huh," he shrugged, "didn't look so bad the first time. Even so," he looked to her, "the Pines were okay with those monsters and creeps?"

She rolled her eye. "Yes, yes, of course they were!" she snapped, "they're a dependable family. Why, Dipper's now lining up to go to a prestigious school with top marks. Mabel? She's working with Arline more than ever! Could soon become a legitimate member of that ridiculous cult of fighters."

"Wow, they sound like they're having a great time then," Soos mused.

This... had this all come from him not being around? Soos felt a twinge of regret in his heart. Had he known how much of a pain he'd been to the Pines, he would have just left them be. Still, to think that they'd have a second chance to not be stuck with him... it was an ache of his heart that could not be put in his words easily.

"I think I might have a heart attack from joy or something, but I'm proud they're all happy," he sighed.

"Oh Soos," Kelly patted his back, "it's not about how much you're worth necessarily. It's knowing bow to be the right person in the right place, instead of the right man in the wrong place. That's how... complications arise," she grumbled, looking away.

Soos shrugged. "I guess so, dawg. But if that's the case, is Wendy okay?"

Kelly looked at him. The one eye fixated on him, and then she laughed. "Wendy Corduroy. You know," she started, floating away from him across the street, "I hadn't realized what a terrible past she'd had."

"Really?" Soos asked.

"Yes, even a Demon of the past like myself," she admitted, "but whatever she is makes it very hard for me to track. Still, realizing the things have _changed_," she said, her voice lingering, "for her, she is much, much better off now than before. She's... alive, Soos."

"YES!" he cheered and jumped. "Aww, I need to tell Dipper A.S.A.P.!" he looked around, "I should go check on her! Co-worker catch up!" he exclaimed as Kelly chuckled.

"If you wish," and she pointed a hand down the street, "you'll find her by her favorite spot these days. Over that hill," she said, and Soos turned.

Squinting his hardest, Soos looked in the direction of her point. Down several blocks, and through a long street that was next to a patch of the woods, Soos could only see large black gates. "Wait, all I can see is the Graveyards," Soos said, glancing back to Kelly as a car passed.

As the painted metal left Soos's sight, Kelly was gone.

"Wow, that's a trick I've never seen before," Soos said in earnest. Turning back towards the direction of Kelly's suggestion, Soos straightened himself up, and started walking.

According to the sentient Triangle, Wendy would be found in this direction. Soos pondered if Wendy was with her friends, like she used to be, three years ago. Then he chuckled. She was probably out with the twins. After all, nothing was stopping Wendy from working with Mister Pines while he wasn't. Maybe she had taken his place as a Handyman. Soos worried, if that was the case.

Still, a short stroll in the warm summer sun had him arrive at the Graveyard. She wasn't in sight still, but Soos wasn't deterred. If she was on assignment with the twins, she'd be in a strange place like the graveyard. Stepping over the hill from the open gate, Soos then found himself at a sigh he'd not expected.

She was alone, sitting on a grave. Wendy wasn't facing him, but it had to be her. Bright red hair, pale skin, and green clothes? It looked like her.

Though things were different. She... looked like she was wearing different stuff. Her hair seemed off, too. She didn't wear a hat like she used to, and her hair seemed just too short. Her posture was bent over. Something in the air had Soos' nostrils protest. He knew that smell- cigarettes.

He stepped over, approaching at his usual pace. Though he still felt the warmth in his heart knowing Wendy was now alive and not an undead being, something about the way she sat made him... sink, just a little.

As he approached, she whirled her head around, and something in her hand sloshed. Wendy turned away, a small curse uttered as she rapidly stuffed something in her pocket. Finally sliding off a tombstone, she spun and faced Soos right before lifting a cigarette to her mouth.

"Hey," she said with a wobbly stance, "wassup, dude."

"Wendy!" he cheered, and rushed over.

It was definitely her, but as Soos slowed his approach, he saw not the same person he had come to know over the summers. She was a little taller, just a bit under his height. Her arms, exposed by he short sleeved t-shirt, showed great definition and tonnage. The hair he had thought had looked strange, Soos now realized, was actually buzzed half off. She tied a number of braids falling aside her shoulder.

Most importantly, her eyes looked differently. Each year he had known her, Wendy's eyes looked more and more tired, until she always had the sense of a person who could take a nap right in front of you, but had the energy and light of someone her age. The Wendy before her...

Was missing that light. The fatigue was also gone, thankfully, but her eyes seemed more unfocused than he had ever seen her.

"Wendy, dawg," Soos said, his mouth falling open, eying a bottle in her hand that was half empty, "what are you doing here?"

She blew a raspberry to the wind. "Sorry, uh, mister Ramirez," she snorted, "I didn't know I, uh, had a meeting with you."

Soos cringed. "Aww, dawg, don't call me that, that's what my dad was called. It's just Soos!" he chirped happily.

"Kay," she shrugged, and puffed her cigarette.

"But you're smoking! And, are you drinking something alcoholic?!" he gasped.

Wendy looked away, her eyes squinted. Slowly she looked back to him, that confused stare behind her gaze. "Uh, look, Ramire- I mean, Soos," she said, flicking the cigarette to the ground, "I don't really know, uh, what's bringing this all up, but you're acting like we know each other. I'm fairly certain that I've never spoken to you, really."

Soos's heart sank. "W-What?" he gasped.

"Yeah," she nodded. When Soos felt his lower lip tremble, Wendy leaned back. "Why? Oh god," she rolled her eyes, and immediately turned away, and started walking.

"Hey! Wendy, wait!" Soos ran after her, only to find her whip around and glare into his face.

"Look, smartass," she glared, "not interested."

"In... being friends?" he whimpered, his lower lip trembling.

Wendy paused. Leaning into Soos started to ease up, and she straightened. Confusion ate away at her every look. She continued to look around her, and then look back to Soos. Finally she took out another cigarette, and lifted a match to it. After taking a drag, she puffed out a column of smoke and asked, "you're not hitting on me?"

"What?!" Soos gasped. "No!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, dawg!"

"You sure?" she asked, squinting, "I'm kind of over the whole being hit on by every lonely male in this stupid, backwards town," she snarled.

"Dude, I'm dating Melody!" Soos declared. Only as he said it, did his heart leap into his throat, "oh my gosh, unless I'm not!" he shouted, and tore out his phone from his pocket, wrestling through contact pages to find his girlfriend.

"What do you mean 'unless you're not'?" Wendy asked, her cigarette bouncing on her lip.

As she asked, Soos saw it. The same contact he put in for Melody before, 'Mi Amor'. The number was the same, and the face was certainly that of Melody. He let off a sigh of relief, and waved the phone around. "Nah, all good. Still dating Melody, see?" he asked, showing the phone to Wendy.

She slowly nodded. "Look, Ram- ugh, Soos," she corrected herself, "I'm really not in the mood to have some stranger just run over and start-"

"But we're not strangers!" Soos insisted, cutting into her words.

Wendy's eyes sharpened. "We're not?" she asked with a dark tone.

"No way!" Soos proudly said, "we're friends! Crazy awesome co-workers!"

Wendy stared at him. "Okay," she held up a single finger, "so first off, coworkers? Huh?" she asked.

Soos nodded, and knocked his palm against his head. "Right. Never worked at the Mystery Shack. Whoopsie-doodle."

"And second off," she asked and held up a second finger, "why exactly would you want to be friends with me?" she asked, leaning closer again, not afraid to attempt a more intimidating glare.

Soos gulped, but didn't back down. "Well, uh, 'cus."

"... Just 'cus'?" she repeated.

"...Yes?" he asked and answered simultaneously.

Wendy then shrugged and gave a small smile. "Aw, sure. Whatever."

"Ha! Yush!" he said, and then reached over, and snagged Wendy up into a big hug. She gasped, dropping a cigarette to the ground below as he spun her around. "Aww, Wendy, it is soo good to see you healthy and not cursed and stuff!"

As he lowered, her, she gave him a critical look before scooping back up her cigarette and smoking it some more. "Cursed, huh?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. "And healthy? You act like we've spoken more than these past few minutes."

"Of course we have," Soos chuckled, "I mean, even if I never worked with Mister Pines, I bet we hung out with the twins!"

Wendy squinted.

"You know," Soos continued, "Dipper and Mabel."

Wendy looked straight at him. "Who?"

A creeping trickle of ice drippled down Soos's spine as he heard her say that. "Y-You know... Mabel? Queen of scrapbooking and punching gnomes, and Dipper, him and me are pterodactyl brothers?" he asked, miming the flapping of wings with his arms. She stared at him blankly. "C'mon Wendy, you've met 'em," he insisted, "right?"

As the last bit of the cigarette crumpled to ash, and she lit and smoked another, she finally snapped her fingers. "Yes! I do!"

"Hah! See?" he happily punched her.

"Don't touch me, bro," she demanded with a searing look.

"Sorry dawg," Soos said. "I'm so glad you remember them. I was worried that maybe they never came around," Soos wiped his forehead clean of a gentle buildup of sweat.

"Yeah," Wendy nodded, and leaned on another tombstone, "those two little brats. I remember them. Crazy kids."

Soos did a double take hearing her. "Brats?"

"Yeah. Didn't stick around that long," she said, taking a long drag after looking to the clouds above, "in fact, now that I think about it, something crazy happened at the shack, and old man Pines got them shipped back home. Something dangerous with the Gleefuls, a few years ago."

He couldn't believe what she had said. "Mister Pines... sent Dipper and Mabel home?" he gasped.

"Uh-hu," she nodded, and eyed him. "How come you act like you know them?" she asked, "I mean, they didn't even really talk much to me. Stan had me working all the time," she grumbled. "It's like you know who they were."

Soos gasped and turned away. They hadn't even stuck around a whole summer. A single summer. Soos had never become friends with Dipper and Mabel, unless they had come by his shop or something along the lines of meeting someone in town. Had they ever been friends? Did they ever do a single mystery together? Soos wondered if the mystery of the lake had ever been solved. He looked back to Wendy, his eyes wide and shimmering with dread. Before he could speak, he considered his phone again.

"Be in here, be in here," he muttered to himself as he opened his phone again.

"Soos, are you having a mental breakdown?" she asked, stepping next to him, looking down to his screen, "I don't think I've ever seen you outside the workshop, fixing something for someone by their place, or delivering an item to someone. Why're you here?" she asked, and then she looked to him, "and you act as if you worked at the shack before it closed publicly."

Soos shot up. "The World Famous Mystery Shack closed down for good!?" he demanded.

"Uh," she chuckled, "No? Its still touring, but it did close for that one summer," she recounted.

His heart was pounding in his ears. This was news he had never expected from such a good start to a perfect world. The Mystery Shack had closed once, but it was because Gideon was planning on tearing it down. But if the tours were still happening, what had ended up happening? Soos remembered Gideon ending up with hard time, but much more dangerous things had happened since then. As he scoured his phone from A to Z, Soos realized with a painful tug in his stomach that neither Dipper or Mabel were in his contacts.

But what was worse, what if the events during this summer had still happened...

"Wendy," he reached over to her, and she gasped, nearly recoiling to his strong hands, "look, I know you're probably thinking I'm on a crazy trip or I've gone coocoo."

"Not wrong," she nodded.

"But I need to know," Soos asked, "was there a business meeting this past year?"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "That stupid thing? Was in ruins for some reason. I, uh, don't think people really remember why, though," she admitted.

Soos's jaw dropped and he let go. His eyes were shimmering as he considered the amount of things that could have happened if he and the twins hand't been there. If Yuki hadn't helped. If Wendy hadn't helped. Was the Society of the Blind eye still at large? Had Gideon gotten away again? Was Bill Cipher still possessing Stanford in this timeline?

As he started to back away, for the first time since they had met, Wendy genuinely looked worried. "Hey," she asked, "Soos? What's going on?"

"I have no idea, but I need to find out!" he said, and then he turned, and started running back up the hill.

Jogging as fast as his feet could carry him, he heard a pair of feet keeping track with him. As he turned, A red-headed racer passed, and slowed to a stop before him.

"Look, Soos," she snarled, "I don't know what kind of crap you're trying to pull," she snapped, and Soos gulped. "I've never talked to you before, we've barely made eye-contact before! And I've had the worst years of my life thinking that everyone in town didn't care for me except to either date me, or send me off to boot camp!" she snapped.

"You... went to boot camp?" Soos gasped.

Wendy stared at him. With a slow nod, she said, "Yes, Soos. And..." she tossed the bottle over her shoulder, which exploded against a tombstone, "I, uh," she collected herself as she looked around, "Just wanted to say... thanks."

"Oh," Soos said, and then shrugged, "aww, it's nothing dawg. Just checking on a co-worker, right?" he said, and jogged past her, patting her shoulder.

Leaving a stunned Wendy Corduroy on the Hill, Soos scrambled back to his Workshop. A car that he assumed belonged to him awaited. It was much nicer than the one he was used to driving, but unless Abuelita renewed her license, Soos was the only person who would leave car keys in the kitchen of his home. So, driving out of town and down the familiar gravel path through the deep, dense woods, Soos saw a familiar sight.

The signs were still up, all over the place. 'Most Mysterious place of the world, right ahead!' or 'Super-cheap thrills!' and 'Kids mostly welcome!' were adorned all over the trees. Passing by them all, Soos's eyes lit up, wide as saucer as he saw the building.

Still in one piece. Two stories. No section for the motel added. Several cars that probably belonged to tourists.

It was the old work. The old home.

The Mystery Shack.

Coming to a slow park just off the front of the building, Soos stepped out, and found himself transfixed. It had barely changed since he remembered it from a year ago, before the change to the Mystery Manor started.

Voice around the side of the building caught his eye. Soos turned, and saw a cluster of folk nearby the side entrance, listening and laughing to someone with a deep, scratchy voice. Soos' heart became a flutter. He knew, more than anyone else, that voice. He started hurrying over, and rounded the corner-

"Hey!"

A scrawny man in a black hoodie smacked into Soos headfirst, and fell backwards as Soos stood firm.

"Oh, sorry da-" he said, instinctivly reaching down to help the man up. Only, he also recognized this person. He saw the hair; a greasy blond, the eyes; a solid dark blue, the face, bent nose, and more than anything else, a scowl worth a thousand toxic words.

"Help m-me up, you st-stupid," Graupner Kinley scowled as he reached up for Soos.

Soos growled, and more than obliged. Lifting Graupner up so fast and hard, the boy yelped as he went airborne. Soos turned, and threw him against the building with a solid THUD. Gruapner's eyes trembled with fear as he looked down at Soos, suspended by two meaty hands pinning him to the sides of the building.

"YOU!" Soos growled. Graupner could only gulp. "I've got ninety nine questions, and now I've got a hundred. You better answer this one, dawg," he warned, "what are you doing here?"

Graupner looked around, his eyes wide with shock. "Uh... I w-w-work here?" he answered.

Soos felt a very real heat creep into his neck, infecting his head. No one joked about taking his position that was that cruel and evil. "Okay, Warlock," he growled. Graupner's eyes grew to the size of small plates. "You tell me what's really going on, or else I'll show you what happens when you joke about Mister Pines' establishment!"

"J-J-Joke!?" Graupner yelped, "you're helping us, you insane id-idiot!"

Soos gasped, stepped back and let Graupner fall to the ground. "Y... you mean I'm..." he said in a whisper. Stanley Pines would let him work at the Mystery Shack, but not Wendy Corduroy!? He was helping Graupner... do something?

"What is going on here?" a deep, resounding and smooth tone asked.

Soos instantly felt shivers. That tone was associated with magic. With danger. Riches, and power. Soos turned, and saw a chocolate skinned man with a bald head staring right at Soos, holding a cane at his side. Wrinkled skin, and bright amber eyes told Soos exactly who he was looking at.

"Steindorf," Soos shook, "I-I mean, Mister Omir- I mean-"

Omir Steindorf chuckled, and approached, passing Soos and lifting up Graupner roughly, dusting off the shoulders with solid slaps across the body. Graupner grunted and winced with each slap. Afterwards, Omir turned and smiled.

"I can't say I'm totally against reminding Graupner of his position," Omir chuckled, and stood between Soos and the Warlock, "but I'm shocked he upset you to the point you'd ventilate some aggression on him."

"I, uh," Soos said, taking a step back.

"No, don't apologize," Omir chuckled, "I know this boy too well. What did he say?"

"Nothing!" Graupner snapped.

Omir spun and stared, his eyes daring him to speak again. "Quiet."

"He called me the Warlock!" Graupner shouted, pointing at Soos.

Omir paused, staring at Graupner. Soos felt a very real surge of power shift happen, and Omir slowly turned back. His bright brown eyes carefully looked over Soos, who stared back, sweating profusely. Without ever looking back, Omir said, "you're certain he called you that?"

"D-D-Dead sure," Omir sighed.

"Hey!"

The three turned, and Soos felt the world grow bright and colorful more than it had in the last two weeks of his life.

"Mister Pines!" Soos shouted.

"Heya, big guy," Stan Pines waved as he walked out from the crowd, which had started to disperse. Wearing a large pair of sunglasses, and his usual attire, he approached the three with wide, long steps. Looking to Omir, he chuckled, "look, Snappy, take bonehead here and let me talk to our friend, okay?"

"Certainly, friend," Omir nodded, and looked once to Soos. Soos was no man of great insight, but when someone looked at him with the greatest of intensity, he felt like he was scanned. Omir Steindorf grasped the collar of Graupner's shirt and dragged him away, leaving Mister Pines and Soos together.

Now alone, Soos looked back to his one time Employer, and reached around him in a snap-to hug, "Oh! Mister Pines, it's soo great to see you again!"

"GACK!" Stan Pines groaned, "Lemme go, big guy!"

He obliged, and wiped away a single teartrail that fell down his face. "Just... you're alive!"

"As much as a fleshy, three-dimensional creature can be!" Stanley Pines barked in a laugh, and Soos chuckled with him.

"Good one!"

"Wow, you must be here for some sort of bonus on the commision," Stan said, pulling him through the doors gently, leading with an arm over Soos' shoulder. "I mean, laughing with my jokes? Perfect example of how to be a good henchmen. Fixing perpetual energy generators so they can draw infinite energy from the power grids? Man, I should replace bonehead with you," Stan snickered.

"Well, I mean," Soos blushed, touched with the words of kindness from Stan. "I'm just happy to help."

"Dang straight," Stan licked his lips, "now how about those generators? I need them to draw energy from the powergrids. You fixed them already?" Stan asked.

"Uh," Soos pondered. "I mean, knowing me, I probably took the job for sure, and I love fixing things, so I'm going to say I probably fixed them. Pretty sure."

"Perfect!" Stan roared. "Just the kind of blind cooperation I'd expect from a soft fleshy being like yourself!"

"Haha, right," Soos said, a little taken aback at the constant approval he was receiving from Mister Pines. "Must be having a good day," Soos suggested, to which Stan just shrugged and smiled. "So," Soos asked, "how are the twins?"

Stan stared. "Huh?" he asked.

"The twins," Soos re-stated, "you know, Dipper and Mabel?"

"OH!" Stan laughed and slapped his knee, "those two twins in town! No idea! Don't care either," he pointed said.

Soos gasped. "Mister Pines, I'm talking about your Grand kids," he said.

Stan Pines did a double take, and the roared with laughter. "Ohhhh, _those_ kids!"

"I mean, are they okay?"

"Uh, sure," Stan shrugged, "why do you care?" he asked Soos, "no like they're of any importance to you or anything that my eye can tell."

"Well, knowing them, they could have been in danger," Soos shrugged, "like that time Stanford came back, and-"

"Ohhh, ho, ho, hoooo," Stan Pines took a big step back, and leaned into Soos, "who's Stanford?"

"Uhh..." Soos looked around nervously. "Your... brother?"

Stan's smile faded. "I don't have one."

"Uhh," Soos gulped, "I don't, uh, know what to," he mumbled. Everything about Stan's reaction to his family, either directly related or not, made Soos uneasy. Stan Pines had always been fiercely protective and easily agitated about things involving his relations. This, above all else he had seen, even running into the Warlock here, made Soos feel uncomfortable. And Stan Pines had never made Soos directly uncomfortable.

"Look, big guy," Stan said, walking away, "you go fix that generator I gave you- and make sure you don't tell anyone about it!" he added with a snap. As he turned, he lowered the glasses, and said, "and know that I don't have any siblings, got it?"

Soos couldn't reply. He was too fixated on Stan.

His eyes weren't correct.

Stanley Pines had a deep natural brown eyes, similar to the color of oak bark, or sometimes the color of a certain type of wet mulch. The eyes Soos saw underneath the glasses were black with yellow slits. As he gasped and stepped back, Stan Pines lifted the glasses.

"What's wrong, big guy?" he asked carefully with a sneer, "you act like you've seen-"

"_Bill_," Soos muttered.

The smile vanished from Stan instantly.

Every instinct in the world told Soos to turn and run. Following his heart, he did exactly that, running waist first into an end table in the hallway. Collapsing over it, a book fell out before him. Journal number 3.

Soos saw it before him, and as he ran, he grasped it up and charged out the door. Faster than his feet had ever moved before, he ran to his car, and scrambled for the door to open. The door slammed behind him, and as he got the engine to start, he saw the front door open, and Stan Pines- no- Bill Cipher in Stanley Pines body step out, just to watch Soos drive away in a hurry.

How? HOW!?

How could _that_ have happened?!

Soos flew down the street with his car, narrowly avoiding hitting another car as he sweat profusely. It didn't add up! How could Bill have gotten inside Stan's head like that?! Not just looking around, but full on possessing? Stan had never called him Soos, or even Ramirez. He only referred to him as 'big guy', just like Bill had.

What was really going on? Soos bit down on his lip.

Kelly!

Kelly had to have an explanation for this! Soos whirled the wheel around, turning towards the street where he now worked.

"Whoa!" he shouted and slammed on the breaks.

"Damn!" Wendy Corduroy shouted as he narrowly avoided her. "The hell, man? You almost hit me!"

"Wendy!" he shouted, rolling down the window, "it's a disaster!"

"I know," she rolled her eyes, "that place in the woods is a dump."

"No, it's even worse!" Soos shouted, causing her to flinch.

"Okay, okay," she said, eying him carefully, "Soos, do you need, uh, some help?"

Soos sighed, and opened his passenger door. "Totally, dawg. Hope in." Hurrying around to the side of the car, Wendy stepped inside and sat down. "Buckle up," Soos told her as she closed the door behind her.

" Funny," she chuckled. He frowned at her. "Really?" she asked with a scoff, but still did as asked. Soos floored the gas pedal, and the car sped away. He needed to get to a safe place. A place where he could think. A place without DEMONS!

His wheel screeching to a halt, he found himself parked in his usual spot. Bounding outside the car, with a concerned Wendy on his trail, he stepped into the building.

"Okay, Soos," Wendy said, "So, I wanted to ask if you're having a mental break down, or you got amnesia or something, because I think you're acting really weird. You okay?" she asked.

"Oh, totally not okay," Soos shook his head, "this is like the opposite of okay!"

"Okay, well, it's good to admit a problem," she chuckled as she followed him into his workshop.

Waiting inside was a teenager with long blond hair, and holding four shopping bags around her arms. "Soos!" she shouted, "the heck have you been!? Melody tried calling the house. Your grandma said you were called out by a woman, and I thought I heard you crash outside and... what's boot camp corduroy doing here?" she asked, eying Wendy suspiciously.

"Hey to you too, Rich and worthless," Wendy smirked.

Pacifica dropped her bags and stood up. "Ohh, you're asking for a court day? I've got a weekend open just in case I need a good lawsuit," she threatened.

"Tough talking coming from a walking, talking, overgrown mop," Wendy retorted.

"So we're talking about hair choices, are we?" Pacifica jabbed, eying Wendy's half-buzz.

"GUYS!" Soos roared.

His voice reached both ladies, and they flinched, turning to the tall, wide-set man. As he rounded on the two of them they saw the fire in his eyes and chose to remain quiet as he spoke.

"We need to be friends for a little bit now, okay?" he asked, "because something really bad is happening!"

"Oh no," Pacifica gasped, a hand to her mouth, "Soos, are you seeing things now?"

"Seeing things now?" Wendy turned to her.

Pacifica rolled her eyes. "Yes, he hit his head today, and started acting really weird."

Wendy turned and shook her head. "That's why you think we're friends."

"No!" Soos protested, "dudes, ladies, dawgs, listen," he said, "my head has a headache, okay? Totally true. Yes, I'm out of the loop on things. But there is something really, really bad happening!" he shouted, locking the door to the outdoors with a quick snap. He turned back to them, "there's a demon possessing Mister Pines!"

The two ladies stared at him.

"He's crazy," Wendy sighed, lighting a cigarette.

"He's suffering head trauma," Pacifica glared at him, "he's usually a lot more passive."

"My head is fine, please listen!" Soos protested, coming closer to them. "Look, not only is Mister Pines possessed by Bill Cipher, but the Warlock and Omir Steindorf are working with him for some crazy reason!"

"Bill who?" Wendy asked, holding her now lit cigarette in her fingers.

"Omir Steindorf?" Pacifica asked, "my parents know him. He would never work with someone as poor as Stan Pines," she then stepped closer to Soos, holding his arms, "Soos, we need to take you to the hospital. You think crazy things are going on, and nothing is going on. This is a totally normal town, with nothing crazy going on."

"Dude, this town is filled with nothing but crazy!" Soos shouted. "People with magic, monsters in the woods, and aliens in the sky!"

"Dude, this head case is severe," Wendy chuckled.

"Shut up!" Pacifica snapped at her, "Soos," she pleaded, "listen to me. Nothing is wrong. You're just imaging things!"

BOOM!

Pacifica shrieked and flinched, Wendy dropped her Cigarette, and Soos spun around as the doors to the street blew off their hinges. Six figures, dressed in dark crimson hooded robes stepped inside, their baggy sleeves held together. Lining the walls silently, they stood before the three.

They started to chant. "Novus ordo seclorum. Novus ordo seclorum. Novus ordo seclorum."

A man stepped into the room from the blow off door, and lowered his hood. Soos gasped, recognizing the tattooed man.

"Mind man!" Soos gasped.

"No," the leader corrected him, "Blind Ivan! Although, Mind-Man has a ring to it. Too bad it would imply more about remember than-"

"Sh-shut up," a voice said, and Ivan was pushed aside. Graupner Kinley stepped inside the room, wearing his usual black cloak. A wicked smile as ever was cast as he looked around. "So, M-M-Mister Ramirez," he said, "you're g-going to come with m-me. Or else, you c-c-can forget about your m-m-ugh! Your me-m-m-m-GAH!" he stomped the ground, "Your MEMORIES! G-Gods," he cringed."

The three stared at the eight figures, Pacifica cowering behind Soos with wide, blue eyes. Wendy suddenly chuckled. "I bet you can't say tattle," to Graupner.

"I can!" he roared. "T-t-t-tat, grr, t-t-at-t- ugh," he grumbled, and put a hand to his face.

* * *

What would happen if Soos never worked at the Mystery Shack?

Would he have been there to help the twins? To make sure they weren't in danger? Would he have been there to stop Bill's incursion? Well... not everything is ever as golden as we think, and the grass is only ever so green. But Soos, you need to solve some things.

Also, guest appearances left and right!

So, sorry about this chapter taking so long, and this chapter being a week late. This chapter (or the details that will be soon discussed in the next update) had to be ratified and double checked. So many things are going to be revealed that you guys will probably only realize by the end of the series, but I needed to get my facts right. Don't need you intelligent readers looking down on me with your well-taken notes and... stuff. :O

But what's going to happen to Soos? He needs to find Kelly! Can he reverse this strange and dangerous world were he was never there?

Probably. But you'll see next time.

REMEMBER TO VOTE ON MY PAGE FOR THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE! After the conclusion of this chapter (which should be the 29th) I'm writing the Halloween episode. Whatever you vote before the next update will be the chosen topic! Right now, it's a tie between two!

(EZB then folds in on himself as time and space warp. He re-emerges from the fold in space with some groovy looking wool jacket, and a long, multicolored scarf.)

Whoa. I knew time and space was weird, but I never thought it'd be this wibbly-wobbly.

(A strange, robotic contraption made mostly out of out-dated kitchen utensils appears from the right.)

Dalek: EXTERMINATE! (It zaps EZB dead with a terribly edited laser beam.)


End file.
